#i cant wait for them to be like 'you start On friday <3'

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

wait does this mean you’ll be able to explore the update when it drops now? because of the new date? or is the case still the same?

no ok this answer is sooooo Funny bc uh

well apparently due to a Christmas Miracle i don't start working this week, today was just orientation. so i Would have been able to actually make it.

but now? WHO KNOWS!!!! WHO FUCKING KNOWS!!! i dont have my schedule yet!!! i'll get it by wednesday!!! so!!! with my continuously Dogshit luck! the case is still very much the same!

[iron-niffler]

god im tired

[sgkjd]

psych institutions should be awarded for being the most unfriendly places for nd and mentally ill folk. funnily enough. do they not know what demographic uses their services?

[wonwoonlight]

something fluffy / yoon jeonghan

➝ Reader x Jeonghan (?)

➝ coffee shop!au // slice of life // fluff // nonidol!au // OC has a platonic (?) crush on han but who doesnt

➝ word count: 2.4k

➝ haven cloud masterlist (can be read as standalone)

➝ What’s playing in Haven Cloud

➝ A/N: i have no idea why this is going slower than i expected and i cant help but feel sorry ;-; hopefully i'll be able to finish this before the year ends? or is that too low of a goal anyway i hope you enjoyed this and pls dont forget to drop by and tell me your thoughts &lt;3

When you had only started working in Haven Cloud, you’re not sure what to make of Jeonghan.

The guy is way too beautiful not to be a celebrity, and when he greeted you with a wink and a playful smile, you didn’t even dare to think he was flirting with you because there’s no way someone like him would have that kind of motives towards old plain you.

Still, it was a little hard figuring out what to make of him, and it’s only after three months that you finally understood that Jeonghan is just naturally friendly towards everyone that he’s sometimes borderline flirty with or without meaning to. One thing for sure though: it’s clear that Jeonghan never has any ill intentions, and contrary to how he looks, Jeonghan is quite easily persuaded if you just whine a little and pull your pitiful face.

In short, Yoon Jeonghan is just a big softie for those around him despite the cool, flirty image he’s holding up as Haven Cloud’s one and only handsome pastry chef. And it’s not helping the, uh, admiration you have for him. It’s a crush at most, one that you used to have towards a senior in high school; that you know wouldn’t grow into anything else and is barely even romantic.

You suppose Jeonghan is much too easy on the eyes, and as much as you have nothing romantic towards him, sometimes you still get flustered when he stares at you a little too long, or when he mindlessly pokes your cheek just to annoy you.

“Say aah,” his airy voice suddenly says, a piece of tiny choux almost forcibly shoved into your lips that you have no choice but follow as he says. “How is it?”

You hum as you appreciate the sudden sweet exploding in your mouth. Jeonghan has been doing this a lot these days, making all of you try his latest creation because he’s been experimenting with new ingredients and new techniques for a future event Chan has briefed you all a few weeks ago.

“Mmm. Definitely not your best work, but it’s better than the last choux you made.” You scrunch your nose and look at Jeonghan apologetically. He puffs air into his cheeks, a little upset but grateful nevertheless for your honesty. “It tastes good. But the dough is a little too heavy for some reason. What fillings do you have so far?”

“Chocolate, vanilla, and chocolate rum.”

“Chocolate rum?” You look at him in betrayal. Vanilla is literally your least favorite flavour out of the three but that’s what he’s been feeding you these whole time? “I want to try chocolate rum!”

Jeonghan looks conflicted for a second, but it’s Seungkwan’s annoying voice that answers you.

“Too bad he’s already perfected the chocolate rum,” he grins, popping a small choux into his mouth.

“You made Seungkwan try the chocolate rum?” You whine, pouting at the older guy like a child as Seungkwan teases you some more before making his way back to the hall.

“To be fair, I’m currently trying out the doughs, not the fillings. I’d be wasting too much ingredients if I made chocolate rum fillings for all of my trials.” He smiles at you sheepishly, though you don’t relent until he promises he’ll make another batch next week.

“Next week? It’s Friday and I’m craving them now because of you.”

Truthfully, Jeonghan can simply ignore you and be done with it. He knows you well enough to know you’re not actually angry at him, that you’re just playing annoying and you definitely don’t mind waiting until next week. But, like you’ve said earlier, Jeonghan is a big softie and sometimes he’s unsure how to say no to everyone in the cafe because the big brother in him strives to both make all of you suffer and cater to all of your needs.

“Actually, I’m going to the cafe tomorrow to make them so you can drop by if you want?”

“We’re off tomorrow, though? Didn’t Chan say he has somewhere to be and decided to just close the cafe for the weekend?”

“Yep. I asked if I could borrow the kitchen for practice and he said okay.” Jeonghan shrugs, then reminds you rush hour is coming in a bit and you should probably leave the kitchen before Chan yells at you again. “So. Come by if you don’t have anything to do? Or you can always eat them on Monday, I suppose.”

You eye the tray of choux next to Jeonghan, and you swear you can taste the chocolate rum in your mouth if you stare at them long enough.

Guess you’re going to the cafe tomorrow.

“How do you perfect the shape, exactly?” Soonyoung looks at the dough curiously as Jeonghan works on them. 

“I’m just talented that way,” the older guy shrugs with nonchalance, a lazy grin on his face and it blooms into a laugh when you threaten to pour more water into his dough so he couldn’t shape them. “Why are you here again?”

“Didn’t have anything to do and Cherrie said she’s coming to the cafe to be a ‘choux tester’ so I decided I want to become one too.”

You barely listen as the two guys continue to talk, opening the small fridge you guys use to store your food right next to the big fridge for the cafe’s necessity. It’s almost lunch now, and you skipped breakfast because you couldn’t be bothered to make anything, which means you’re hungrier than you usually are at these hours but you’re not hungry enough to eat an actual meal right now.

“Han, can I eat these?” you ask as you show him a slice of crepe cake. “Is this yours?”

“Yeah, sure. I bought it then forgot to eat it.”

He chuckles when you squeal a little and do your usual tiny dance when you get to eat desserts. Most of the time, he’s sure you’re working in Haven Cloud for the discounted dessert and all the dishes he makes you try.

He’s not complaining though, one of the reasons why he became a pastry chef in the first place is because of how happy his sister was when he asked her to taste his first perfect baking and how her eyes twinkled in delight once the spoon went inside her mouth. So to see you, or anyone, really, being delighted over desserts is something that always swells his heart.

“Han, say ‘aah’.” Jeonghan jumps when your face pops right in front of his, a small spoon shoved into his lips. He hums once he tastes the layers of cake, his mind already separating the ingredients within. “Where did you even buy this? It tastes better than the usual crepe cake we buy.”

“My sister’s friend has just opened a new bakery and their signature dish is this cake.” He nods in approval as he swallows. He’s always liked crepe cake, but they’re too much of a bother to make that he never bothers trying. If there’s one pastry he wouldn’t make, it’s this one; they’re too much work and having to put them layer by layer will never end for someone who strives for perfection like Yoon Jeonghan. “It does taste much better than I expected. Give me another bite.”

You snicker before you feed him another then take a bite yourself, and it’s Soonyoung who snickers next, looking at you both with a shake of his head.

“Do you realize you guys act like a married couple sometimes?” He huffs, then walks towards you to also take a bite. He’s oblivious of the flustered look the both of you have, too busy appreciating the taste to notice you’ve gone quiet out of nowhere. “Anyway, should we order lunch?”

Jeonghan snaps out of it first, only a little taken aback because he’s never really had anyone say anything of that kind to him. Despite what he’s heard people say about him, Jeonghan actually has very little experience in romance and is very shy when it comes to it.

“Mmm. I’m kinda craving for some katsu, actually.”

“Ooh, I know a good place!” Soonyoung answers almost immediately, his face lighting up. “But it’s not available for delivery. You guys wanna go there or…?”

“Jeonghan can’t leave his dough, Soon,” you scrunch your nose and take out your phone to open the delivery app. “Let’s eat something else.”

“Or I can go by myself. I don’t mind.” Your best friend shrugs. “It’s not that far from here too and I want them too now that I’ve mentioned it.”

As per usual Kwon Soonyoung style, he’s out of the door before any of you can stop him. But, then again, you know you’d be too hungry later on if you take more time to ponder about what to eat so it might be for the better that he goes to buy food now.

“He didn’t even ask what kind of katsu we want to eat.” Jeonghan chuckles to himself and continues his way with his dough. “By the way. If you open the big fridge, I already have a batch of chocolate rum choux ready.”

You light up at the mention of the sweet treat that Jeonghan actually laughs out loud. “When did you make these?!”

“I’ve been here since seven in the morning,” he grins, and then tells you the current batch he’s working on is the last one for choux because he needs to practice for the other menu. “I think I found out why I kept on messing the dough. The batch this morning is almost perfect, so…”

You pop one of the choux into your mouth, and you frown the same time you squeal about how good it is. “This is perfect! What could you possibly fix for this?”

“You’d know,” he winks and cracks his neck from side to side. “God, my neck is stiff. I’ve been making these for hours.”

“You should rest then.” You look at him in worry, and it’s only then that you realize how he has hot patches on the back of his neck and on his arms. He always gets like this when he wants to perfect a recipe, and while it’s admirable that he’s going to this extent, it always worries you everytime it happens. “You’re about done with the dough, aren’t you? A little more and you can leave it in the oven?”

Jeonghan nods and exhales a deep breath; he really doesn’t want to rest now, but his arms are hurting and he knows it’s going to be a pain in the ass on Monday if he continues working. Thankfully, he finishes in about ten minutes and, after putting them inside the oven, the both of you go out of the kitchen to sit down on one of the sofas in the cafe.

“Christ, my back,” Jeonghan stretches from his seat. “What are you making?”

“Tea. You old man can’t handle too much caffeine, right?” You tease him from behind the counter. “I’ll make you some peppermint tea to help you relax.”

Jeonghan isn’t usually too fond of tea either and you know this, but he agrees that peppermint does make him relax and it’s something he direly needs right now.

You slide into the seat next to him out of habit, because it’s usually you and Jeonghan, Seungkwan and Chan. You share a look with him for a second and laugh at the same time, probably thinking of the same thing at that moment. You’re about to move and sit in front of him when he pulls you down, his head immediately claiming the spot on your shoulder so you’d stay in place.

“You make a good pillow,” he claims, his voice so soft like he’s about to fall asleep any second. As if on cue, he yawns into your shoulder, his fluffy hair tickling your cheek. “How longer do you think it’d take Soonyoung to come back?”

“In about 15 minutes. He texted me just now. You can take a short nap, I’ll wake you up once the food is here?” You offer, unsure if Jeonghan is more sleepy than he is hungry.

“Mmm. 15 minutes is cool,” he moves away from your shoulder and tells you to move to the edge of the sofa. You follow his words without even asking why, and, before you can even ask, he lays down sideways on your lap, facing away from you.

You chuckle at the familiar scene in front of you. These boys can be very soft at times and it’s beyond cute. Chan is the youngest but he’s literally the only one that doesn’t hog you; Seungkwan and Jeonghan would do this from time to time, just latch on to you in any way possible when they’re extremely tired and are in need of physical comfort. (Sometimes they latch on each other too, but they always choose you when you’re around for some reason.)

You let Jeonghan sleep 5 minutes longer before waking him up, the food Soonyoung brought is already set on the table by then. He groans a little when you bounce your legs, then takes three more minutes to actually get back to his senses. He’s just about to take a bite when the familiar ding of the oven rings throughout the kitchen, so, to no one’s surprise, he abandons his food and dashes to get his choux out of the oven.

The smell that fills the room once Jeonghan comes out with a tray of choux is heavenly, and you, too, abandon your food for the sake of tasting the choux first.

“Did you fill this with chocolate rum too?”

“Some of them, yeah, because there was a bit left. But most of them are vanilla.”

You happily take the choux Jeonghan hands you, the pastry still warm that you blow air into it out of reflex. Jeonghan looks at you in expectation, then breaks into a wide grin when your eyes widen the moment you swallow. That’s how he knows his dessert is a big success.

“Han, what the hell!” You hit his shoulder harder than you meant to. “How did you make it so fluffy on the inside but crispy on the outside? This is the fluffiest choux I’ve ever had!” 

“Not the most delicious?” he grins, then takes a bite himself and urges Soonyoung to taste some too.

“Like it’s not obvious.” You roll your eyes, then tell him you’re bringing some home and he has no right to tell you otherwise. “This will be sold out in seconds. Tell you what, maybe we should not serve this. I kinda want them all to myself”

Jeonghan scrunches his nose shyly at the compliment, then tells you to shut up before he picks up his katsu again. Despite knowing he’s good at this, there’s something about getting validations from the people in Haven Cloud that makes him happy; perhaps it’s the fact that he knows for sure these people appreciate him and his works.

And as he watches you and Soonyoung hum happily at the taste of his choux, Jeonghan is once again glad he chooses to become a pastry chef.

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved.

A/N 2: I might get rid of the taglist because, to be honest, it turns to be quite a lot of work to tag every user one by one due to tumblrs ass system and, if i'm being quite frank, it gets discouraging to tag people and not get feedback from even 10% of them soo, yeah

🏷permanent taglist: @kyeomjjigae @stantrash171819 @sebongmochi @luveveryonewoo @thinkinboutwonu @kpopjackie @ursweetener @lavenderautumnx @itsveronicaxxx @shuahoshiscoups @sunshinein17 @leechanniee @twogyuu @hoe4wonwoo @h3h3tm0n @noraehey @seokshook @rubyhoons @02psh @just-here-to-read-01 @listxn @janandbeyond @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly

🏷haven cloud taglist: @berriesandjunnie @boowanie @honeymoondelicia @joshuahongnumbers @bbymatz @baldi-2 @justasoftstan @lechanters @darl-ings @17kwans @heesunki @13956789 @yoonguurt @yoonzinosworld @alicehatter457 @wonuziex @bibinnieposts @horranghaesakura @oliviaheaven @trumanblackhatesyou @qiuscloud @cherriscoups @sstarryreads @joonsytip @jwwonu @meowtella

[hopelesswrites]

Midnight - Joseph Quinn pt. 3

Joe makes promises to you to make things right. 

18+ MDNI, smut!!!!

(I really wanted to give you a happy ending but their relationship is still a little rocky, so I give more Joe being a dickhead. Can they fix things now? idk lmao.)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

-

The next couple days were spent laying in bed curing your hangover. To be fair, the first day was because of your hangover, but the other two days of sulking were purely because of Joe. All you wanted was a call, a text, a knock at your door but as the days go on your confidence in that diminishes. He’s gone, swooped up by Hollywood and pretty models and out of your life.

Come Thursday you decide you can’t keep brooding away, you have to shake it off and go to work. So for the rest of the week you busy yourself with work, staying back and doing overtime just so you don’t have to think about Joe. Your boss also said you had a lot to catch up on, so that kept you occupied.

Friday evening came by quickly and you were finishing up your extended day at work, ready to head home. You were scared to go home, knowing the weekend would bring two more days of staying in bed feeling sad and sorry for yourself. Part of you was ready to welcome those feelings back, the more productive part desperately wanted it to be over, that you’d wake up tomorrow morning feeling great, maybe go for a run, visit the local bakery for a proper substantial breakfast for once this week, no thought of Joe crossing your mind.

As you made your way home you kept your mind on that bakery. How good it would feel to get out of the house. How much you need to go for that run, let the cold morning air hit your face, maybe knock some damn sense into you. Joe was in the deep depths of your mind now, no longer causing a tight feeling in your chest like he had for the first half of the week.

Your flatmate was at the front door when you arrived home, she looked anxious as she paced back and forth across the small front patio.

“Thank god you’re here” She sighed once you came into view.

“I tried to tell him to fuck off but he was so persistent, barged his way in”

Your stomach sank, you didn’t need any more information, it was him. You really didn’t want to face him, the reality of it hitting you finally. He was going to end all communication, completely reject you and leave you alone forever. You didn’t want that.

Walking through the hall and to your bedroom, you see him sitting on your bed through the crack in the door. His head snaps up at the sound of your door opening, a stunned look plastered on his face.

“Hi” He said quietly, watching as you dropped your bag down and stood by the door, keeping your distance.

“I didn’t know your work schedule so I waited” He tried again, but you didn’t know what to say. Part of you didn’t want to start talking at all, getting closer to the end tugged at your heart.

“I want to apologise” He sighed, getting up and slowly inching closer, he had a way of manipulating you so subtly, getting what he wanted without you noticing until its too late. It infuriated you, made you hate him so much, hate how much you loved him regardless.

“Go on then” You answered, eyes trained to the floor, Joes eye contact was too strong.

“I shouldn’t have acted the way I did the other night, I care about you and was so worried, I didn’t think about how cruel I had been”.

You watched Joes feet shuffle, his ugly shoes making you frown, you distinctly remember telling him not to buy them.

“I also want to apologise for the way I’ve treated you over the past year, it’s not been fair on you and I cant keep stringing you along”

‘Here we go’ you think.

“Things are different in my life, and I don’t want to lose you, I want you in my life, but that means things have to change a bit”.

You looked up after hearing his last line, falling into the depths of his sad sorrowful eyes. He had you, you were trapped, it made you feel sick.

Joe reached out and grasped your hand in his, tugging you closer forcing you to look up at him.

“Let me do things right, let me take you out, I’ve got a premiere to go to tomorrow night, I want you with me.”

You didn’t give it a second thought, head nodding viscously, agreeing to whatever Joe wanted from you. The spell he had cast on you was in no time lifting, you could feel that.

-

The next evening you were dressing up in your best dress, most uncomfortable heels, hair and face all done up. You were simply excited, happy to finally feel like you were a part of Joes new life. There was no time to feel silly, or manipulated, what could go wrong?

Joe arrived to pick you up, dressed in all black. Not too dissimilar to the getup he had on a few months ago when he came to visit you. He was hot, you thought, there was no way you’d be getting through the night with him looking like that. He took your hand, gave it a reassuring squeeze before guiding you down to the car waiting, he had a god damn private driver. You ignored the feeling that gave you, the feeling of not belonging, because you were with Joe, you belonged with him.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” Joe whispered in your ear as you got out of the car, arriving at the venue.

“A few times. Can’t go wrong with a couple more though” You replied, eyeing off the crowd in front of you. People were arriving in all sorts of fancy cars, dressed in stunning gowns and suits. Security guided guests around, into the building, off to the side where you noticed a red carpet, this was an official thing, still that feeling of not belonging got pushed to the side, Joe had you close, you belonged.

His arm snaked around your waist firmly, another reassuring squeeze as you were both guided off to the side, the red carpet.

“I’m going to take a few photos, bosses orders, why don’t you wait for me down the end?” Joe said, removing his grip on you and motioning down behind the carpet, out of camera view. You agreed, making your way down the path where you noticed a group huddled by the door at the other end, you concluded this was where managers and escorts waited, unfamous guests.

You struggled to ignore the anxiety you began to feel without Joe by your side, you didn’t belong here anymore, this wasn’t your crowd and you just needed him back beside you, holding you tight to get you through this whole night.

It wasn’t long before you saw the man make his way off the carpet and back to you, he offered you a small smile, and took your hand in his again. You tried to ignore the lack of a squeeze this time, but it ate at the insecurity you felt inside.

Inside the building people chatted and drank, waiting for the theatre to open up. Joe was quick to grab two drinks for the both of you and manoeuvre his way through the crowd until he was stopped. A tall woman tapped his shoulder, greeting him like old friends. You watched as they laughed and chatted, you beside Joe, your hand he once held forgotten. More people approached him, more greetings, not one towards you. You did not belong here.

When the theatre doors opened Joes hand lay flat on the small of your back guiding you in, no longer wrapped around you like before. His dismissal of you hurt, it felt worse than any ignoring he had been doing previously, you were finally in his world and you were still invisible.

The screening was painful to sit through. Joes fingers fiddled with the fabric of your dress cascading over your thigh until the end credits played. Before anyone got up Joe was whisking you away and out of the theatre into the lobby, his hand now grasping your wrist rather than your hand.

“What’s wrong?” You asked watching as he looked around, he looked frantic.

“Here” He replied pulling you towards a bathroom, locking the door after you had entered.

Without explanation you were slammed against the door, Joes mouth falling to your neck in quick harsh sucks and bites, he was ravenous.

“Joe what is-“

His lips came up quick, swallowing your sentence in a kiss, his teeth scrapping over your lip as he pulled away and resumed his assault to your throat.

“Been dying to have you all night Baby” Joe mumbled against your skin, his hands roaming over your backside, bunching the dress up and slotting a clothed leg between yours.

The pressure elicited a content sigh from you, Joes grip now firmly on your hips, guiding you to grind on his leg. The pleasure forced all rationality out of your brain as you submitted to the man you loved.

“You’ll have to be quiet for me, okay?” Joe groaned as he twisted you around so your chest was against the tile, ass out.

You listened for the sound of his belt buckle, but it never came. Instead, you got a harsh slap to the ass followed by Joes quick fingers rubbing you through your panties. You fought off a loud moan as electricity shot through your body. Joe pressed up against you, his lips finding purchase on the sensitive skin behind your ear, his hot breathe creating goosebumps over your skin. His fingers stopped their movement to pull his own pants down, the feeling of his skin against yours almost sending you over the edge. It felt pathetic, to be so affected by him, to need him as much as you did.

Joe rubbed himself against your entrance testing the waters by pushing in a little and pulled out. You eagerly waited for what you were craving so much, to feel him completely, but it never came.

“Lets get these off yeah?” Joe mumbled, tapping your foot with his own before leaning down and gentle pulling your heels off your feet. The relief was almost as good as the sex itself, but with your height difference from the lack of shoes Joe was quick to resume his movements, slipping in effortlessly, his hand snaking around your face, covering your mouth before he began thrusting. The pleasure was overbearing, Joes small grunts in your ear sending shockwaves through your body. You couldn’t see him but you knew the blissed out look on his face, could picture it, and it got you through to your own orgasm, legs quivering as the coil snapped and you let yourself go all too quickly.

Joes movements became sloppy and you knew he was close.

“Let me” You whispered, turning around and dropping to your knees, swatting his hand away pumping him a couple times, tongue out ready to catch his load.

“Fuckfuckfuck” A string of curses left his swollen lips as he released above you. You took everything he gave you, quite happily as embarrassing as it was, and watched him come back to above you. His chest rising and falling, a small trickle of sweat sliding down his temple, his eyes screwed shut still. You wanted him to look down at you, smile at you, give you anything but he stood back, tucking himself back into his pants, head thrown back as he let out a shaky sigh.

Your heart sank, even in such an intimate moment he was ignoring you.

“That’s it huh?” You frowned, gaining his attention again.

Joe looked at you confused, “Didn’t you come? I thought-“

You cut him off with a laugh, “You just don’t get it!” You raised your voice as you stood up, slipping your shoes back on. “Or you do get it and just don’t care” That was what worried you the most, being nothing to Joe and him being actively aware of it. Actively making you aware of it.

“I come out here with you, surround myself in an environment I’m not comfortable in to make YOU happy, and you blow a load in the bathroom like we’re goddamn teenagers.”

Joe stuttered out useless apologies, but you couldn’t care to listen to them.

“I’m going to go now, don’t follow me, I’m serious” You spoke sternly, watching him carefully, worried he might reach out, touch you and break you down again. “And don’t contact me, I think we’re done”.

[jemmo]

ok. here’s some of my immediate, rambly reactions to eps 3 and 4 of t8s.

first off, i was kinda nervous the entire day. it’s been a while since ive had butterflies like this waiting for a show to air, most recently was the second season of utsukushii kare, but the level it was today was rivalling waiting on a friday for a new bad buddy ep. and the fact this show managed to put me into that state within less than a week is frankly insane, and shows just how down bad i am for it. all that to say, i so soooooo didnt this want this to be a case of me overinflating how good those first 2 eps only for the follow up to not encapsulate the same feelings. all signs were pointing to that not being the case, but still, when you hyperfixate, you kinda get nervous hoping that thing lives up to everything youve built it up to be. and these eps absolutely did that. they didnt just live up to expectations, but are managing to give me scenes and story beats and emotions i just cant predict at this point, and i love that. just how like this budding relationship feels new and unpredictable to jihyun and jaewon, the show is like that for me to watch, and it does wonders for giving me the same butterflies the two are feeling.

but with that unpredictability comes a kind of uncertainty, not knowing whats gonna happen at any turn, and i cant express how much i adore that about these two eps. with the kind of story theyre building, with jaewon’s mental health struggles and his past, with jihyuns nerves and growth in an unfamiliar environment, itd be so easy to make their relationship a shared place of comfort and certainty and familiarity for each other. that place of refuge. and while i feel like that’s what it’ll eventually become, i love that still, in these early stages, the relationship feels so uncertain and almost not guaranteed. it makes you still hang onto every look and touch and word even though theyve already kissed. something about it doesnt feel pre-determined, which is a feeling i get with so many other bl’s when you know, a majority of the time, they’ll get together and have a happy ending. that doesnt feel guaranteed here (even though i pray for that to be the case). instead, it feels like im watching two individuals that are actually having to make a conscious effort in order for this relationship to become something. they have to work for that certainty. and that kind of knife’s edge, it could break at any moment, hanging on every interaction is packed with that specific kind of nervous exhilaration that is so fucking accurate and true to the start of relationship. i seriously cant describe how perfectly they managed to encapsulate that feeling and convey it with such authenticity. its actually ridiculous. seeing those moments, when they’re talking and skirting so closely around the topic of what exactly they are, when then their fingers brush and you are begging for one of them to make the tiniest of moves, to take hold, to make that kind of a statement no matter how small or silent it is, it makes your heart race, bc its new and unknown and in that moment its like your insides are screaming, begging you to embed this sensation into your veins bc you dont know when the next night like this, when the midnight chill and the dusky sky and the hints of alcohol in your system will mix right and make you feel so hedonistically giddy as you do right now at the feeling of that person by your side. and the way they both chase that sensation, how visibly happy it makes them, a craving for each other and that shared thrill only they know, it is just so unbelievably intoxicating to watch. 

i am a person that struggles to sit down and focus. im watching tv but im also knitting, im playing a game but also listening to a podcast. im that person that has to overwhelm my senses to feel sated. this is the first time in a while that ive sat down to watch something and nothing stole my focus, i wasnt distracted, my mind didnt wander. i wasnt concious of the other people walking around my house or the traffic outside or the temperature of the room, i was just fully engrossed. i let every ebb and flow of the scenes and story take me on this path it was guiding me down. and again, thats how they feel. when jihyun and jaewon are alone together, everything else fades away to this dull buzz of background nothingness, they become engrossed in each other, and just as the story pulls me, they pull each other. there’s a constant back and forth, an exchange of setting and challenging boundaries that i adore. when youre getting into a scene, you dont know whos gonna be the one pushing the other. you have jihyun being more forward by the han river, teaching jaewon to draw, then you have jaewon going after jihyun at the library, you have him meeting jihyun after work only for jihyun to ask him to stay and have a drink. its like with every interaction, theyre both asking ‘is this ok?’ and the other asks ‘can we go further?’. i wanna make a whole other post about the nature of their gap in age and experience and all that brings and also how the expectations it brings are subverted, but for now i just wanna say how great it is that there is this balance, and especially that jihyun is allowed to be confident and brave and forward with jaewon, and jaewon is allowed to be reserved and giddy around jihyun. those are experiences so often reserved for the elder and the younger in a relationship, respectively, so to let jihyun be the leader and jaewon the follower, swept up by his feelings and attraction is so refreshing and plays so well into the kind of growth we’re gonna see from these characters and that they need, jihyun growing out of this shy country mouse persona to be more forward and bold, and jaewon being allowed to drop his mask of bravado and letting him be a young person that doesn’t have to be in control of everything. we see that one of his main pressures is the concept of the future, of how simultaneously wide and full of possibilities but also narrow and predetermined that future is for him. he talks about being afraid to lose the comfort of a microcosm like the army of school, even though they are places where he isnt necessarily happy. and then in comes jihyun, something not predetermined, something unexpected, and he takes control of jaewons future in a way by opening up this new path for him. he’s taking some of that stress from jaewon’s shoulders by being an equal and responsive partner in this journey, and offers the chance for jaewon to have something certain in his future, only if he too will work for it. only too if he tries something new, realises that its not too late, and that the anxiety and fear and uncertainty that comes with it may be worth it. bc it may not be guaranteed, but to try instead of never knowing is the only way he can make this possible.

tldr; this show is breath-taking, and im gonna be emo about it for a very long time

[swiftviolets]

top 23 screenshots of 2023 <3

i was tagged by @applesaucesims a while ago to share my top 23 screenshots of 2023 and it was actually pretty hard to pick just 23!!!! i've seen a lot of people do them by month but because i made this blog in like may i'm just post them all as one :) some are raw some are edited its a real mixed bag i've seen a lot tagged in this already but if you haven't done this yet consider yourself tagged <3!!!

i thought she just looked cool here :(

2. i like the vibe of it and again i just thought she looked cool here lol. i wanna remake this so bad

3. i really like the angle i got w this, like its from elvis' pov. he wants attention but neither are giving it him

4. this was initially from when i started to make pictures to go around lori's apartment but never got around to finishing them. its a little lori and her oldest brother before he goes off to fight in korea :)

5. elvis was not having being held!!!

6. this was when i first started messing around with tool and i just love this shot a lot

7. one of my faves of all time!!!! i cant wait to add more context to this as i get deeper into four to one

8. i was trying so hard to get that feel of an up and coming band and their first album. i looked at a lot of old 60s garage band album covers and some were so raw like literally just a bunch of guys posing somewhere and thats what i attempted to duplicate with this :)

9. i could've honestly included the whole post this screen was from but out of all of them this was my favourite. idk i just like its the first little glimpse you get of new orleans before the street scenes. i was trying to set the mood a little lol

10. literally not a thought inside his little orange head <3

11. i used another angle of this pose for the initial post its from but idk i also liked this one a lot too i think lou's awkwardness makes it for me lol

12. i really like how andy looks back to lori as she was leaving. he looks so helpless and ideally he'd have gone after her but a) he didn't want to deal with her anger and b) he was really not in the mood to receive any shit from the rest of the group, and out of the 2 he's not ready to face lori's wrath!!!! i also like the couple on the left bc they could legit be talking about anything

13. the way they're looking here.... ough. in the story post they take a few moments to watch lori pass before initially approaching her. the look they give her is mixed with the displeasure of spending their friday night tailing their boss' 'girlfriend' and just your typical male gaze of watching girls go by

14. i think i peaked with this shot. she was literally just getting into a car what an absolute icon

15. & 16. the way she looks at him and the way he looks at her...... chefs kiss. she's annoyed and he can tell but that doesn't stop him with appreciating how she looks

17. its my blog header image for a reason <3

18. i love this little moment of intimacy between them. their relationship can feel more like an acquaintanceship at times, especially with how marco speaks to lori and how he treats her. i like in this shot it captures a rare moment in their relationship where lori is genuinely sweet and he's soaking it all in. also i really like both their side profiles hehe

19. i was starting to take screens for a post i was going to make then i just forgot about it but i really like this and how it's a little sneak peak on what to expect later on in four to one :)

20. i just love how the preset i used made this screen look tbh

21. just a cute lil gameplay moment no poses or anything just love between a girl and her cat <3

22. & 23. taken from lori's magazine spread i just really like how candid they look both look

[littleoanh]

AGGHHHHH!!! My favorite series It Started With a Smile ended!! Fridays will never be the same. I really really love your writing. Its so addicting I cant stop reading. You’re really doing a good job at this. I’m sad thet the series is over (i will miss Ran series from you) but I trust that you wont get get tired writing about Ran. I’m not much into reading but you made me get addicted to your works Albie!!!

You might be getting a lot of requests but if you have time can you grant my request for below scenario abour Ran?

- Y/N (Fem Reader) had been busy doing art abroad. Since she’s done with her exhibit, it’s time to go back home to recharge and get new inspo for her next project! She also wanted to go home in time for her bestie’s bday. The celebration is in a club owned by Bonten. Y/N went to the club even though she hated it and only wear basic clothes (white top and black trousers and sneaks). She met her bestie but since she doesn’t know her other friends that well, she stayed at the bar to wait. Then suddenly, a bouncer asked her to go to the vip room (as instructed by Ran). She turned to the room and told the bouncer to tell the vip that she aint a wore and to go fuck himself haha! Turned out Ran was a childhood friend of her bestie’s boyfriend and introduced them in the party then Ran mentioned to Y/N that he knows she aint whore 😆 Ran was turned on by Y/N IDGAF attitude so he digged his friends to provide info about her. But her friends seem to be protected telling Ran to play with anyone but her (you can create a mystery about Y/N like a past experience that hurt her, death of someone important). Lucky Ran, he accidentally ran into you buying paint brushes in this art district where Bonten have businesses. Ask you out for lunch then everything started there. Keeps visiting you on studio and eventually finding out about Y/N’s soft side and sad past. Making Ran be soft for her and falling in love with her! I am in my late 20s so please make it smut smut but in a romantic way 🥰

Gosh im thinking about scenarios like these while reading your series. Albie, you are such an effective writer!!! Hope you’ll expand the request mentioned and please dont stop writing!! Will be here always reading and supporting you!!

- Lory (im anon coz im a little shy but im always here to support you!)

A/N: Hi Lory!! Thank you so much for reading my first mini series <3. That really means a lot to me. And you are absolutely right, I will never be tired of writing for my beloved Ran Haitani!!! And WOW that’s such a thoughtful compliment, thank you! I really appreciate the love and support! And don’t worry about being an Anon, I completely understand about feeling shy. I’m a total introvert. ANYWAYS! I really hope you enjoy this piece :) Sorry, I really got carried away and didn't realize how long this was … 

Because I Have You

Characters: Ran Haitani x fem!Reader

Warnings: Fluff (lots of kisses, Ran being a sweetheart [but not at first] and cuddles), angst (talks of a character’s death, emotional trauma, anxiety), cursing, and smut (unprotected sex, mention about pubic hair, Ran calling reader ‘baby girl’, oral, and creampie).

Like, reblogging, and kind comments are appreciated.

“Oh my God, [Y/n]! You made it!!!” Your bestie, Shinzu screams over the loud upbeat EDM music playing in the background of a popular club in Tokyo. She jumps over to give you a big bear hug, you haven’t seen each other in a long time due to your work trip abroad. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She talks in your ear with contentment while still holding you in her arms.  

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss your birthday.” You smile softly, you landed in Tokyo about an hour ago and dropped off your luggage back at your minimalistic apartment. Then headed right to the club without changing your clothes, you weren’t a party person and didn’t have clubwear. You came here wearing a white boyfriend button up with the sleeves rolled up, black trousers and your favorite Converse sneakers. 

“Hey, good to see you [Y/n]!” Tora, Shinzu’s boyfriend, comes to greet you with a bear hug too and pulls the both of you into his strong muscular arms. “How’s your art exhibit in Paris?” He lets go of you but still has his arm around Shinzu. 

“Good, it was very busy and fuckin exhausting but totally worth it.” Your lazy smirk appears on your tired expression. “Feels good to be home though.” You turn your attention to the bartender and order shots for the three of you.

“Staying here for a while, I hope?” Shinzu smiles brightly, hoping you won’t go on another long international trip. The bartender pours liquor into three shot glasses.

“That’s my plan,” You hand two shot glasses to both of them. “I need to recharge and prepare for my next expo. But enough about me!” You lift your shot glass in the air, “Let’s take fuckin shots! To Shinzu for being born today!!”

“Kanpai!” The three of you clink your shot glasses and chug, your chest feels burned from the alcohol and return the shot glasses on the bar counter. 

“Shinzu!!!” A group of loud squealing girls approach the bar area, surrounding Shinzu and grabbing a hold of her.

“Come on, why are you taking so long?”

“Let’s get on the dance floor!”

“Forget the dance floor, let’s get on the poles!” They are practically dragging Shinzu away from you, but she manages to use her heels to stop them from hauling her and looks back at you.

“[Y/n], do you wanna come with us?” The girls are staring at you, waiting for your answer. 

“No, you guys go ahead. I’m good here.” You motion them to go on without you, the truth is you are not comfortable with Shinzu’s other friends since you don’t know them that well. The girls drag her away and Tora sighs.

“I’m going to follow them in case they cause trouble,” He looks back at you, “You sure you’re good here?” You give him a thumbs up.

“Don’t worry about me.” Tora nods then follows the girls behind, you turn back to the bartender and order yourself a beer. The bartender pops the cap and hands you a nice cold beer. You instantly take a gulp of it, the dance floor is crowded and so many girls are grinding on guys or on their girlfriends. This scene is completely out of place for you, you much rather have a quiet night in but Shinzu likes to party. You lean back against the bar counter, wondering how long you should stay here for. 

“Miss.” You are not certain if the ‘miss’ is for you but your eyes flicker in the direction of a big scary man, most likely a bouncer. Holy shit he’s huge, he is staring right at you. “Can you please follow me to the VIP room?”

“Are you talking to me?” You point at yourself, why would the bouncer want you to follow him to a VIP room? 

“Yes, you have been invited by one of our VIPs.” 

The fuck … is this some kind of joke?

The bouncer shows you the direction up at the balcony where the VIP rooms are located. You follow where he is aiming, there is someone standing by the balcony. There are flashing lights near them, giving you a glimpse of who this person is. From what you can tell, it is a tall man wearing a striped purple pantsuit. He possibly has multicolored hair, too dimmed for you to tell. He is not alone, there are women with revealing dresses clinging onto him. Maybe he is bored of them because he is focused on you, but what pisses you off is that cocky grin on his face. Does he think you’re easy?

Tch who the hell does he think he is, you scowl. You turn back to the bouncer looking unimpressed.

“Go tell your VIP I’m not a whore and for him to go fuck himself.” The bouncer who is stoic at first is bewildered by your response. You take another chug of your beer, now ignoring the bouncer. 

Hm? Ran’s lavender eyes spots the bouncer coming back to the VIP room alone, why are you not with him? “Mr. Haitani.” The bouncer appears to be hesitant.

“Where is she?” Ran gets to the point, Rin and Sanzu snickers when you don't show up. 

“She um … she wants me to give you a message.” One of Ran’s eyebrows arched, oh? 

“What does she want to tell me?” Ran’s iconic lazy grin appears, did you want to meet him somewhere else? Were you too shy to come up here? He could tell from the moment you were at the bar that this was not your scene. You are even bold enough to come to Bonten’s most popular club wearing a white big shirt and pants. You are different and he is completely intrigued by you. 

“Pardon me for saying this, here is her message.” The bouncer clears his throat to help with his nerves, “She said ‘I’m not a whore and for you to go fuck yourself.’” Rin and Sanzu are howling in laughter while Ran is speechless. He had never been rejected by a woman before, they would always do what he instructed. This is actually a nice change of pace and is turned on by your IDGAF attitude. He stands up, taking off his tie with a smirk.

“Where are you going?” Rin asks his brother, who is now leaving the room. Ran stops his movements, to turn back to him.

“Going down to meet with an old friend of ours.” 

Your eyes catch Shinzu and her friends returning to the bar area, you also notice Tora coming back laughing with someone. “[Y/n]! Come here and meet Tora’s friend.” Shinzu waves you over, you sigh and are reluctant to meet someone new. However, if it’s Tora’s friend … how bad can he be? 

“[Y/n],” Tora’s big hand pulls you closer to them and his hand is also on his friend’s shoulder, “this is Ran Haitani, my childhood friend. He is also one of the owners of this club, so basically a VIP.” One of your eyebrows instantly perk up and get a closer look at him. 

“Mother fucker …” You mutter, it’s the same cocky VIP who was standing at the balcony. Ran showed off his charming smile and wave.

“Nice to meet you, [Y/n].” Ran’s tall stature comes closer to you and leans down in your personal space. He sees the look of annoyance, his charming smile changes to a devilish one. “For the record, I know you’re not a whore.” 

“What, you think I need your validation or something Mr. VIP?” Your angry smile spur Ran even more. Why do you look so fuckin hot when you’re mad? “Also, get out of my fucking face. Don’t need your cockiness up in my personal space.” You push Ran’s broad chest to back the fuck up. 

“Uhhh, is something goin on here?” Tora looks back and forth between the both of you. 

“It’s non-existent.” You want to nip this in the bud, you whip your head back to your bestie who is also concerned about what is happening. “Shinzu, I’m going to head out. I had a long flight and my jet lag is about to knock me out.” She nods.

“Oh of course, I wasn’t expecting you to stay long. Do you want me to come out and wait with you?” Before you can answer, Ran jumps in.

“I can drive you home.” 

“How about you jump in your own ass and fuck off?” Shinzu’s friends are astonished at how badly you are treating Ran. He is being a gentleman, offering you a ride home and you chose to be rude. You didn’t care what they think, you are now focusing on Shinzu again, “I’ll be fine. You don’t need to wait with me. Go enjoy yourself. I’ll give you your birthday present later.” 

“Oh okay, at least let me walk you to the door.” She follows you right out, Ran’s lavender eyes follow the both of you out of the club. He needs to know more about you. Tora put his hand on Ran’s shoulder, breaking his thoughts.

“Hey, don’t take what she says to heart. She’s really a sweet person.” Ran’s lips quiver upwards.

“Is she? Could you tell me more about her?” Tora knows where this is going and needs to put his foot down.

“Don’t. I know what you’re thinking but you can’t be interested in her.” Ran is surprised Tora is cockblocking him. “There are plenty of girls here for you to be playing with, just not [Y/n]. She’s off limits.” 

“Off limits?” Ran chuckles darkly, “You should know better who you are talking to.” He comes closer to Tora with an intimidating stance, “I take what I want. So either you tell me more about her, or I will use my methods. Your choice.”

“No.” Tora knows Ran well enough that he will not hurt him. “I’m asking you as my brother, leave [Y/n] alone.” Ran frowns, then steps away from Tora and sighs in defeat. 

“Alright, fine. I’ll leave her alone.” Tora pats Ran’s shoulder and smiles softly.

“Thanks, brother.” 

It has been a few weeks since Ran last saw you at the club, he continues to keep his promise with Tora to leave you alone. He really did his best to forget about you, but how could he? You have plagued his mind. You are completely different from the women he’s been with. A fresh breath of air. He is bored of the same type of women. The only way he can temporarily forget about you is to keep himself busy with work.

Ran is at the Art District in Shibuya, Bonten owns several businesses here and he needs to collect payment. At the last stop, Ran happens to notice an art supply store across the street. His lavender eyes are shaken, he finds a familiar face … yours. You are wearing a white crop top with short dark blue overalls and white sneakers. He couldn’t help but to smile, you are adorable no matter what you wear. What should he do? Should he come say hello? Maybe come into the store and buy those paint brushes in your small hands? 

He is distracted by his thoughts that he almost didn’t notice you have already stepped out of the art supply store. I know I shouldn’t but … his long legs take off running. Ran can’t help himself, he needs to see you again. “[Y/n]!” He touches your shoulder to grab your attention, you on the other hand are about ready to deck him in the face but stop when you see him.

“You, again?” You lower your fist, which Ran finds amusing. You are definitely unique. “What are you doing here?” 

“Got some business to attend to.” Ran is happy you are at least talking to him, maybe this can start something new. “Then I happened to see you and wanted to say hi.” He displays his famous charming smile.

“Could’ve kept walking …” You mumble, then look back at him. “Is that all?”

“Have lunch with me.” Your eyes widen, why would he want to have lunch with you when you have been so cold towards him? Is he some kind of masochist? Right when you are about to reject his offer, your stomach starts growling … traitor, you called your stomach.

“Fine, but you’re paying.” 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Ran is elated you agreed to have lunch with him, he can finally start to get to know you. 

“You’re a painter, right?” Ran asks at a casual sushi restaurant that serves sushi on a conveyor belt. You arch one eyebrow, then he nods at your bag. “You have paint brushes, I assume you’re a painter.” 

“You’re right, Sherlock. I am a painter.” You pick up a salmon roll and plop it in your mouth. 

“What kind of paintings do you do?” 

“Landscapes.” You answer curtly, however it doesn’t seem to bother Ran. He genuinely is content that you are at least answering his questions. Your eyes flicker in his direction, he seems enthralled. “My style is impressionist landscape either with acrylic or oil painting.”

“That’s fascinating, I am terrible with art. How did you get into art?” You have a sorrowful gaze when you pick up an eel roll. 

“A family member inspired me.” He sensed you didn’t want to talk about it and didn’t want to put pressure on you. 

“Have you done any art exhibits?” Ran changes the subject to make you feel more comfortable with him.

“I came back from Paris about three weeks ago and now I am working on another expo.” He places his arm on the table and his hand is under his chin.

“Oooh, am I invited to this one?” You arch one of your eyebrows again.

“You’re interested in art?” 

“I’m interested in whatever you make.” Ran gives you a cutesy smile, you almost want to roll your eyes but he does look cute when he smiles like that. You also never realized how pretty his lavender eyes are. Actually now you have a better look at him, he’s quite handsome. His tattoo on his neck is quite … sexy. Your eyes trail from his tattoo to his large hand, then you look back up to his eyes again and he definitely notices you are checking him out. “Thinking of painting a portrait of me, darling?” Ran playfully winks, you turn away to hide your redden cheeks.

“As if I want to.” You mumble. The rest of lunch went pleasantly and you didn’t find Ran intolerant as much anymore. You are becoming a little intrigued by him. JUST A LITTLE.

“You’re back here again?” Ran has been frequently visiting your art studio nearly every single day. It was a bit annoying at first, but now you are looking forward to his visits. He always comes with a lunch box for you since the first time he came, you missed lunch because you were too focused on your painting. 

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss visiting my favorite little paintbrush.” Ran holds up a brown bag with pack lunches for the both of you. You wash the splatter paints off your hands and take a seat with Ran. 

“You missed a spot.” Ran tells you, you look down on your hands to check but you don’t see any paint on you, he chuckles. “On your face.” He points to the spot.

“Oh.” You grab a paper towel to wipe where Ran mentions but he grabs your wrist to stop.

“A paper towel will be too rough on your skin, let me.” He wipes your cheek, “Gosh, you have another spot here and here.” He continues to wipe your face, however you feel your cheeks feel wet. That’s when you catch on his fingertips, there are paints on them.

“You asshole! You’re making a mess on my face!” Ran laughs as you tackle him down while grabbing some paint of your own and start painting on his face. “Since you are being devilish,” You paint his face with little devil horns and a funny moustache, “I’ll paint you as the devil.” Ran doesn’t even fight you, he enjoys watching you paint on him. “There!” You just realize you are on top of him and leaning close to his face. Right when you are about to get off of him, Ran holds you in place and uses his strength to pull you closer to his lips. His hand is in your loose ponytail, playfully tugging them. 

His lavender eyes are filled with a fiery passion, he’s been wanting to kiss you this whole time. Now he has you in his arms, he doesn’t want to let go. Ran leans in but is interrupted by a phone call. “Shit.” He reluctantly releases you and sees a call from Kakucho, something must have happened with the mission. “Sorry, I have to go. Work call.”

“Uh, before you go.” You quickly climb off of him with your heart beating expeditiously. You wet a paper towel for him to use to wipe his face. “Here.”

“Thanks. See you later.” Ran walks out of your painting studio.

“See you …” 

Later that night, Ran comes back to check if you are still at your painting studio. He still sees the lights on, so he decides to come in. When he opens the door, he hears you talking in panic but why are you getting worked up? He takes a peak to see you are talking to Shinzu, Tora’s girlfriend.

“I can’t have feelings for him,” Your eyes are brimming with tears, “not after Yuki’s death.” Who’s Yuki, Ran questions himself. 

“[Y/n], Yuki would want you to move on.” Shinzu tries to calm you down with a soothing tone, “It’s been five years, you deserve to live your life and be happy.” 

“Happy?” The word sounds bitter in your mouth, “It was my fault he died!” Your tears are now dripping on your face.

“That wasn’t your fault!”

“I couldn’t hold onto him!” You are visibly shaking, admitting this out loud. “I couldn’t … I was too weak and my hand … let go. I still have nightmares about it … I can’t even look at his last unfinished painting without feeling haunted by him.” Ran’s chest softens when he sees you crying into your small hands. Shinzu walks over to give you a comforting hug.

“I know I can’t understand losing a twin,” Ran’s heart plummets, so it was your brother? He can’t imagine the pain you are feeling, “but I know Yuki doesn’t want you to be plagued by his death. You need closure to move on. Finish his painting. Finish what he started.” 

“I-I can’t.” Your anxiety and guilt is eating you up. “I can’t do it. I’m not brave enough to face him.” 

“Then let’s face him together.” Ran steps into view, startling the both of you. “I will be right by your side.” 

“What the hell, Ran?!” Your face scrunched up in anger, “Were you listening this whole time?!”

“Yes and I’m not sorry that I did.” Ran approaches you and Shinzu. “If you are scared, then take my hand.” He extends his hand out for you to take it. “I’ll be your anchor. Your rock. Every time you are feeling anxious, I’ll be right here with you. I promise, I won’t leave by your side. If you fall, I will pick you right back up.” Your eyes are shaken, feeling hesitant to take his hand.

“Take his hand, [Y/n].” Shinzu encourages you, she sees how much Ran cares for you. You look at Ran’s downturned eyes, they’re that passionate again. His steady arm, waiting for you to take his hand. He’s not going to give up on you. You slowly reach out for him and he does not hesitate to take your hand, pulling you into him.

“I won’t let go. Not until you’re done.” 

Ran kept his word, he stood by you while holding your hand and watched you work on your twin brother’s painting. Every time he felt like you were feeling overwhelmed or anxious, he whispered encouraging and sincere words. After a while, he senses your determination to finish your brother’s work. You needed both of your hands to do the texturing and Ran still remained by your side. Your bravery and willful attitude made Ran fall for you. 

“It’s … complete.” This painting took the whole night into the morning without any rest. Ran stares at the finished canvas. This is a painting of a couple hugging under a sakura tree, the sakura tree is textured making it look 3D. The male looks similar to you, Ran guesses that is your twin brother and the female must have been his significant other. You painted the landscape beautifully, it looked as though it’s from a fairy tale. 

“It’s beautiful.” Ran compliments your work, “I’m sure your brother would be happy you finished his work.” 

“...Yeah.” The painting may be completed but there is still one more person you need to face. 

Ran stands beside you while you nervously ring the doorbell, it takes a few minutes before someone opens up the door. He recognizes the woman, she is the girl in your painting. She is surprised to see you after five years, you apologized for your absence and told her you had a gift for her. You hand her the present, containing the painting. She unwraps your gift, the moment she sees the painting, she bursts into tears. She pulls you into a hug, telling you thank you and you hug her back with tears. Still apologizing for your brother’s death. She tells you that she never once blamed you and wishes you all the happiness. The burden you had on your shoulders has now lifted. 

You have woken up from your nap, feeling more refreshed compared to the last 5 years. You turn your head to find Ran sleeping peacefully next to you. Because you have him, you are able to move on. You lean close to him and place a gentle kiss on his cheek, when you pull away his arm snakes around you.

“Where do you think you’re going?” His lavender eyes are gradually opening, meeting your content gaze. “It’s a crime to kiss me when I’m not awake.” Your lips quirk upwards.

“How would you know that happened if you weren’t awake?” Ran prop his other arm up to have a good view of you. Your bedhead looks like a bird’s nest but he still finds you pretty. 

“Touche, but-” His arm that is around you pulls you closer to him, “I want you to kiss me when I’m more awake. Such as right now.” A playful grin spread on his lips and you are a bit flustered.

“I can’t do it if-” Ran slant his lips against yours, his lips feels good on yours. It’s been so long since you have kissed someone. You kiss him back without feeling guilty, he deepens the kiss and uses his tongue to swipe across your bottom lip. You grant him access to let him play with your tongue. The way his tongue dances with yours makes you feel good and turns you on. 

Ran rolls you on your back and he climbs on top of you, placing loving kisses from your lips down to your neck. Licking, sucking, and biting your plush skin, earning some sultry moans from you. His hands lift up your shirt to gain access to your tits, giving them some squeezes and plays with your nipples. He strategically rolls your nipples with his skillful fingers, making you twitch from his touch. Ran moves his lips down to your abdomen, coming closer to your nether region.

“Wai-wait.” You stop him before he proceeds to take off your pants. “It’s been awhile since … I … um.” Your cheeks are now blushing, it’s so cute how shy you are. “You don’t need to-” Ran kisses your lips once again to interrupt you.

“Let me take care of you, baby girl.” He gently takes off your pants along with your white cotton panties. You close your legs in embarrassment, but of course he’s not going to let you stay like that for long. Ran spread your legs, lowering himself down and looks are your glistening cunt. You have some hairs but not enough to deter Ran from eating you. He opens your pussy lips, takes one long stride of your lips and moans. You are fuckin delicious. 

Ran messily eats your pussy, you hear him slurping and so many lewd wet sounds but you feel too good to care how embarrassing it sounds. He laps your clit and sticks two fingers in your hole. As you mention, it has been awhile so your pussy is extremely tight. He sucks on your clit, making you shake and scream from pleasure. Your walls pulsate around his fingers, letting him know you have cummed. Ran sits back up, unbuttoning his pants and releasing his thick cock and sucking on the fingers that were in your pussy. 

He leans down, putting a little weight on you, “I’m going to need you to listen to me.” Ran talks roguishly in your ear, “I want you to take a deep breath for me.” You listen, taking a deep breath, “Now exhale through your pretty lips.” The moment you exhale, you feel something big plunging in your pussy and nearly taking your breath away.

“Fuckkk …” 

“You’re doing so well, baby girl. Just a bit more.” Ran slowly pushes his thick cock into you, making you feel every inch and vein. He finally bottoms out, waiting for you to adjust his size. You feel so full with him so deep inside you. Ran starts thrusting in a slow pace, you whimper and make cute moans for him. He kisses you with more heat and gradually increases his rhythm. You wrap your arms around his neck, moaning into his lips and enjoying the pleasure. He thrusts even deeper, making you hug him tighter in your arms and crying into his neck. Ran wraps you close to him and keeps hitting your g-spot. 

“Oh god, yes! Ran!” You cry out his name, Ran grunts and groans into your ear. You cup Ran’s face for him to look into your feverish eyes, “Please … please go faster and harder.” How can he say no to you? He gives you another sloppy kiss before granting your plea. “Oh Ran!” You are calling his name like a prayer and he ravishes you. “I’m about to cum, I’m about to cum.” Ran keeps the fast pace and goes harder to have you cum on his angry cock. You let out a pornographic moan and arching your back. “Ran, Ran!” He captures your lips, feeling your gummy walls squeezing him.

“Feel so good, baby girl.” He continues to pump his cock into you, letting you enjoy your high. He keeps going until he is getting close to ejaculating. “Where do you want me to cum?” 

“In-inside, please. I want to feel your love.” 

“Fuck, [Y/n]. Let me show you how much I love you.” Ran continues to slam his cock, about to bust and he let out a loud guttural groan. He paints your gummy walls white, creating his own artform. He waits for a few minutes before taking his cock out, thick cum is spilling out of his pussy. It is stunning. He lays down next to you, pulling you into his arms and tenderly kissing you. “Are you okay?”

“I’m more than okay, better than before.” You look up with a loving gaze, “Thank you. I … wouldn’t have been able to do this without you.”  Ran smile softly, then place your head against his neck for you to nuzzle into.

“I promise you, didn’t I?” Ran huskily talks while stroking your disarray hair, “I won’t leave your side.” 

“Does … does it still apply since … now I’m done with my brother’s painting?” There is a moment of silence, you have a slight panic that Ran will up and leave you.

“[Y/n] …” You are almost scared to look at him but you need to face your anxiety, you make eye contact, “if it’s alright with you, I want to stay here with you.”

“You do?” Your voice cracks a little.

“Yeah,” Ran caresses your cheek, “I’m not planning on leaving even if you push me away. I will always be here.” 

“Ran …” You wrap your arms around his neck and lean in to kiss him with longing. Who knew you would find someone at a club that would change your life?

[End]

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[gontagokuhara]

hii ive been a pointy objects reader for almost a year and it is So Good and ive always been wondering what Ibuki is the god of.. i dont think its been mentioned in the fic so far unless i just havent noticed somehow

Sayaka is the god of music so Ibuki probably wouldnt Also be the god of music im guessing.. my first thought when i started thinking about it was god of energy or something like that but i feel like akane or nekomaru would suit that a Bit more maybe?? i feel like she would either be the god of rebellion (but that Kinda overlaps with mondo) or maybe god of individuality because they would both suit her character well i think.. if this counts as spoilers do not feel obliged to answer lmaoao ive just been curious for a while..

i realise how long this ask is now Sorry i just love this fic so much and i am very curious💗💗 i cant wait to read the next chapter i am so exited‼️

HELLO LOVELY ANON!!!!!!! you sent this right as i’m in the Middle of writing the next chapter and u have no idea how excited and motivated these little surprises make me!!!! so thank you so much asks like this always make my day

to answer ur question!!! you correctly clocked sayaka as the goddess of music and you are actually rather close with your guess, but ibuki mioda is the goddess of festivities! i have her down in my outline doc as ahem [clears throat] “the goddess of throwing fucking RAGERS amongst the gods and mortals alike.” as one might expect she’s very friendly with the majority of the gods and puts on events to get as many gods together as she can all together :) she’s also all things considered a VERY good mom (compared to a lot of the gods)

and just for funsies, because they aren’t featured in the fic and you brought them up: nekomaru is the god of teamwork, and akane is the goddess of persistence. they’re besties (and also go to all of ibuki’s parties) <3

no worries EVER about long asks they are my absolute favorite i LOVE talking about this fic so much !!! unless there’s endgame spoilers i will go on about ANYTHING send me your questions and comments always and forever <3 and next friday mark your calendars, 5 year anniversary update will be real ‼️‼️

[tvvivi]

Twilight

summary:

Life was fine, going to school Monday through Friday and going to church on the weekends. Throughout the school year I would get real busy and didn’t have much time to do things I enjoy. Going home from school would take about an hour, while I was on the train I would put on my headphones and listen to music, always looking out the window. I didn’t talk to anyone and nobody talked to me.

 When I was home, all I did was lay in my bed and watch movies. I love movies. The way they make me laugh, smile, and cry. They help me forget the boring life I had. 

So when I woke up on a plane with a grandma sitting right next to me, I panicked. When I realized what was going on, I went along with it. I just wanted to have fun. I didn’t think I would stay there for long. But if I was staying here for the rest of my life with stupid dumb people where vampires and werewolves existed, I wouldn’t want to go back to my boring mediocre life.

[1,386 words]

Chapter 3 - Edward Cullen

After lunch Mike walked me to Biology class, when we get there I walk in and see Edward, his dark brown hair, his perfect pretty face. He has such nice eyes and even his eyebrows look perfect. I see him cover his nose like he just smelled the most repulsive thing in his life. The expression he’s making makes his face weird. He looks constipated. The teacher tells me to sit next to him and I try not to give him a look back. During class he just keeps staring at me and I want to tell him to piss off but I don't. Before the bell even rang he got up and basically ran out the door. I know Edward is at the main office asking to get his schedule changed.

After school Charlie took me to a diner to eat out. When we got home I did my homework and waited for Bellas mom to call. We talked about my day and how weird the kids are at the new school. The only person who I liked was Jessica, even though she seems not to like me I like the way she knows how to act, she knows when to laugh and when to smile. She’s has a pretty smile.

Angela is okay too but I don’t like the fact that she took a picture of me without asking first. She didn’t have much screen time in the movie so I cant really say anything about her.

Mike and Eric seem like good guys, though they are a little dense. They don’t even notice when a girl so close and so pretty likes them. 

That night when I go to sleep I think about Edward and I try to remember the story line as best as possible. What I do remember though is that Edward, that weirdo, comes into my room at night and watches Bella, aka me, sleep. Though I don’t think that happens until a little while later.

The next day at school I don't see Edward around and I know its because he’s having his little “episode” about not being able to read my mind. He misses a week of school.

When I wake up for school I don’t see my truck, I assume Charlie went to go switch out the tires. I also assume this is when the “animal” attacks start.

When I get out of the house and start walking to the truck I slip and fall. Charlie runs over to me, 

“You all right?” He asks me as he helps me up, Im so embarrassed right now. 

“Yeah, Im good. Thanks.” I say, looking at the floor. While  walking to the truck he tells me about the tires,

“Yeah, just be carful. I put new tires on the truck, old ones were getting pretty bald.” He tells me while lightly kicking the front wheel. 

“Well, probably be late for dinner. I gotta head down to Mason County.” Right on cue,“Security guard at the Grisham Mill got killed by some kind of animal.” 

“An animal?” I ask, hoping to learn something useful. 

“You’re not in Phoenix anymore, Bells.” Of course I know Im not in Phoenix, Ive never even been there.

“Anyway I figured I’d lend a hand.” Charlie says, guess he wont be home as often. 

 “Be careful.” I tell him, even though I know nothing bad is going to happen to him Im still worried. Guess Im getting attached. 

“Always am.” He tells me, I give him a smile and thank him for the tires.

“Yeah.” He gets into his car, I get into mine and drive off to school. 

Eric comes up to me while I'm on my way to biology, “Prom Committee is a chick thing but I gotta cover it for the paper anyway, and they need a guy to help choose the music so I need your playlist. Hey, listen, um I was wondering, did you have a date to..” Eric didn’t get to finish as Mike came up to us,

“What’s up Arizona? How you liking the rain girl?” Mike says while shaking his wet cap on top of my hair letting the droplets fall on top of my head. 

“Better get used to it girl.” Mike says, I chuckle at his comment and move away from them, and start walking to the lab table. I see Edward sitting down at the table, looking at me. He’s so weird for that, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to him staring at me with those pretty eyes. Though today I notice that he’s not wearing the contacts that hide his beautiful eyes. 

I sit down next to him giving him a nod before I sit down, I didn’t want to be rude. While waiting for class to start, he talks to me. 

“Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t get to introduce myself last week. Im Edward Cullen. You’re Bella?” He says while smiling at me, I want to punch him in the face. No shit you dumb fuck, You didn’t come to school for a week just so you could avoid me. 

“Uhm yeah.” I smile at him a bit and look away while the teacher starts talking. He says something about an onion root tip cells and something else about phases of mitosis. 

“Ladies first.” He says while sliding the microscope over to me.

“Thanks,” I look into the microscope trying to make it focus on the sample so that I could see it better.

“You weren’t here for awhile.” I glance over at him for a second, 

“Yeah, I was out of town for a couple of days. Personal reasons.” He avoids looking at me in the eyes. I roll my eyes, He’s such a bad liar.  

“Prophase.” I slide the microscope to the side and write down my observations. 

“Do you mind if I look?” He looks at me, I just give him a shrug. He slides the microscope over to his side to look into it. He doesn’t even look at it for long when he says, 

“Its Prophase.”  

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” I tell him, why doesn’t he just listen to me? 

“You enjoying the rain?” He’s looking at me and smiling, he looks hot, he has a nice smile. 

“Yeah, I guess. Makes me want to stay in bed all day listening to music and drinking coffee,” I smile back at him, Just because Bella didn’t like the rain or anything ‘cold’ doesn’t mean I don’t. I enjoy the rain, Well I don’t like getting wet but looking at the rain is nice. “What about you? You like the rain?”

“Yeah, I like the rain.” He smiles at me and grabs the next sample switching the other one out.  He looks at the sample through the microscope, “It’s Anaphase.” He didn’t look back up at me and just started writing it down on his paper.

“Mind if I check?” I said, 

“Sure.” He looked up at me. I didn’t bother really checking, I just took a quick glance, 

“Anaphase.” I looked over at him and saw him smiling at me. He has such a cute smile. 

“Like I said.” He chuckled a bit and showed his nice strait white teeth. God he’s so hot. I didn’t bother writing it down on my paper, I didn’t care much about this assignment. Not when I can just spend class talking to Edward.

“I get why you moved here then, the wettest place in the continental U.S. you love it” He looked over in my direction but didn’t bother making eye contact with me. 

“Well, not really. Its a bit more complicated than that.” I said but I cant really say much. I mean its not like I really know why Bella decided to come here.

“I’m sure I can keep up.” He said his eyes now on mine. This time though, I was the one to look away. 

“Just drop it. Its none of your business” I was irritated, he should know how to mind his business. 

“Sorry.” He grabbed the microscope and changed the samples. “It’s metaphase. You want to check it?” 

“I believe you.” I looked back at him and he looked at me with his beautiful hazel eyes. I feel bad now.

[tpwkwriter]

Meeting the in-laws.

• mentions of anxiety!! But fluff all round <3

————

“Fuck sake” the girl muttered under her breath, while searching top to bottom of her shared wardrobe.

The frantic sound of items being tossed around and draws and doors being slammed shut peeked the interest of her boyfriend.

“Dove, s’all this?” He beamed, motioning to the clothes and accessories scattered on there shared bed.

“Cant find nothing to wear for the weekend” she pouts, this weekend was, finally the time where y/n meets Anne, her lovers mum, although she was excited too finally meet her and see what it was like for him growing up, she also couldn’t stop her anxiety from raising in her body when she thought about what she was doing.

“No clothes, m’seeing a whole wardrobe all over m’bed darling” he says snaking his arms around her waist and kissing the crown of her head.

“Know but, nothing good enough, like what, what do I wear to meet my boyfriends mum?” She stresses picking at her fingers out of worry.

“What have I told you about doing tha” he remarks putting his hands over hers and pulling them down while pulling her closer.

“Wear what makes you comfy love, mum already loves you, couldn’t care what you wear, m’serious”

“How about we tidy up and go get dinner?” He proposed

To the girl happily agreed.

——————

Friday morning came along and due to the ride nearing 4 hours the day started quite early, y/n woke earlier then there alarm was supposed to go off, the dark sinking feeling in her stomach goes off, when she realised what day it was, don’t get it wrong of course she was excited but her approval towards y/n meant alot she just wanted to be liked by Anne.

She sits cross legged on her side of the bed, and leans her back against there shared headboard.

Turning her head to the sleeping Angel that lie next to her made her realise that even though she felt nervous, she would happily push through for him and his family.

She takes her phone in hand and tries to distract her from her mind, her thoughts where knocked when she felt a ringed hand sit on her exposed knee.

“Y’ok lovie” he mumbles, using his free hand to run it down his hair revealing his sleepy eyes and pretty face.

“Mhmm” she hummed

“Excited for today?” He asks finally opening his eyes.

“Yeah, cant wait to see y’mum” she replies pressing a kiss to his exposed forehead.

—————

Within 3 and a half hours of the drive it doesn’t take long for y/n’s feelings to kick again and intrusive thoughts raid her mind ‘what if she hates me’ ‘what if she doesn’t approve of us’ ‘what if she thinks I’m using her son for fame or money?’

“Nearly there dove” he says placing his hand on the girls thigh allowing her to fiddle with his rings.

“Okay baby” she murmurs.

“ she knows I don’t use you right? Money, fame” she adds, the tone of her voice shows stress the was currently feeling.

“Baby honey, no, never, she hasn’t even met you darling yet all she has to say it positive about you, she thinks your perfect already” he speaks keeping his eyes on the road but using his free hand to drum his fingers on her thigh, to show he he was listening.

As the couple pulled up to the house, H could clearly see the wave of nervousness rush over her.

“Hey, it’s ok m’love, we’re in this together okay, ima gonna be right with you” he says leaning over the handbrake to press a kiss to the girls lips.

Without a reply, the girl nods and they both exit the car and hand in hand walked to the door.

Within 5 seconds of the door bell being rung, it’s slung open revealing a smiley, beautiful Anne who instantly invited you both in to her home.

“Oh y/n darling, your much prettier in person, how are you?” She beams pulling the girl into a comforting hug.

“ thank you, thank you so much” she smiles reciprocating the hug and already feeling at ease.

“Thanks for the love mum” he sardonically replied.

“oh come here my darling” she laughs after pulling her son into a hug.

“Please come on through and take a seat” she said leading the couple down a hallway, whilst walking y/n took a second to appreciate the decor and details that surrounded the house, the walls were a dark evergreen, with details of gold and rose gold, as she entered the living room it instantly gave cosy, homey vibes, fairy lights strung over the Tv, candles sat on the coffee tables and mantle pieces, and a basket that sat in the corner full of fluffy and fuzzy blankets, the girl instantly fell at ease and comfort at this home.

After a while of catching up and laughs the couple slowly fall tired, H recommends that he grabs the remaining bags from the car.

“Want me to help H” she asks raising to her feet.

“No it’s fine I’ve got it, all your night stuff is already in the guest room, so feel free to get ready in there love”

“Let me show you it” he smiles, wrapping his arm around her waist and guiding her to the staircase.

Y/n didn’t realise how well H knew her until she looked at the stuff he put in her night bag, her favourite pjs, fluffy socks, all the skincare she uses before bed, it made her heart burst at how much he noticed this stuff.

Whilst finalising her self, once she was comfy she was about to head back down stairs to help Anne with cleaning up after dinner when she heard something that made her stop in her tracks.

“I think she’s perfect for you Harry” Anne gushes

“She’s well mannered, caring, sweet and has a lot of love for you darling, you can tell by the way she looks at you” no need to see her but you can hear the smile on her face

“She’s definitely the 1 mum” H adds

“Couldn’t imagine not being with her, don’t deserve it”

Y/n felt bad for eavesdropping but, once again it made her heart melt, she could almost reassure she was just a puddle at this point.

She wanted to make sure they were both in different rooms before walking back downstairs, just to allow H to have sometime with his mum and once she was sure they had quietened down she walked down the stairs and went back to the living room, where she found H with his eyes glued to the Tv that showing a random 90s romcom.

“Y’ok pretty boy” she asks plopping herself beside him.

And with that his focus was tranced to her, he instantly laid his head onto her shoulder, knowing she wouldn’t be as cuddly or handsy infront of his mum.

“ fancy lunch by the river tomorrow? Me, you and mum?” He asks closing his eyes in a sleepy manner

“Sounds perfect” she says running a hand through his tousled hair.

“Really love this house, has such a cosy vibe” she adds eyes scanning other details she missed.

“Thank you love, was the vibe I was going for” Anne says walking in to the room and placing down a hot drink down for you and sitting in the sofa opposite you and the coffee table.

As the night was coming to a close, the couple say goodnight Anne, and make it into there room for the next 2 days.

“If y’need anything in the night love, just go get it, this place is y’secound home now” he smirks.

“Ill take that with honour, love it here”

“Told ya it would be fine didn’t I, she loves you” he says kissing her forehead.

“I love her back, she’s amazing” the girls adds crawling into the sheets and getting comfortable

With H switching the lights, he does the same and joins her.

“Love you dove” he says turning to his side to throw an arm around her waist and kiss her hair

“Love you H” she says dissolving in his arms and with that all sinking feeling in her stomach stopped and she felt at home and at comfort.

<3

———

[iheartmoons]

asks for you bc i’m bored

fav food?

fav drink?

fav show?

fav subject? (i feel like i already know this one but i might be wrong so)

fav snack?

comfort food?

weirdest food you've ever eaten?

most out of character thing you've ever done?

wallpaper?

if you could have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

any phobias?

is there anything you’d wait in line for a week to do, see, or get?

if you could name your brain, what would you name it?

where do you want to travel the most?

you don’t have to answer all of them or any at all if you don’t want to!! they’re very random lmao

you can answer privately too if you’d like <3

OMG HI i should be sleeping but this is more fun:

(strap in bc it turns out that i cant choose anything for the life of me, and i enjoy oversharing)

fav food: i cant….choose. being a basic bitch id say like chicken curry and rice bc idk 🧍‍♂️it’s good. but uhhh i love chinese food generally, like oh man. duck pancakes w the cucumbers and sauces and uh, the noodles and the pork and chicken and dumplings and bao buns (i am aware this sounds terrible to others, but i am drooling)

fav drink: ooh oreo milkshake, or if we’re talking standard drink from the shop, specifically fanta fruit twist (it’s also the colour i would dye my hair btw). my go-to is always generally water tho 🤭

fav show: i cant choose…. maybe like friday night dinner, she-ra, and strong girl bong soon

fav subject: english <3

fav snack: OH um. i love choc chip muffins or choc chip cookies tbh, also brownies!!!!

comfort food: any type of chicken curry and rice

weirdest food i’ve eaten: i really haven’t eaten anything weird. i don’t eat any red meat very often apart from pork, sooo idk. (i’m thinking meat wise here btw) i guess i’d say pig intestines - look it sounds bad, but if you think abt it, lots of people are eating all the other parts of the pig w/o thinking about it. my bro once ate crocodile at a farm once tho which was pretty wild (apparently it tastes like chicken)

most out of character thing ive ever done: see i cant really answer this because i’m just so different in diff situations or w diff people, but i honest to god think that it’s saying i love you to all my online friends. like. id never ever do that in real life. i find it extremely hard to show my emotions, it’s so awkward and uncomfy.

wallpaper: for a moment there i couldn’t decide whether u were asking abt my literal wallpaper or my phone wallpaper…. i’m still unsure… but my lock screen is reg and sirius, and my home screen is the marauders. and if ur asking abt my bedroom, i got lilac walls 🙈

if i had an unlimited supply of smth, what wld i choose: ohhhhhh oh. fuck idk. ummm money??? lmao 😭😭😭 maybe time with my cousin (she’s my fav person and she doesn’t live in the same city + she’s going to uni after next year so my chances of seeing her are slimming)

phobias: the ocean/any big body of water, death (big big emphasis on this one) and ummm like dolls and clowns- actually i’m scared of so many things, the list could go on and on

smth i’d wait in line to see/do/get: i’d wait in line for a hug from mitski tbh

if i could name my brain, what wld i name it: WHAT SORT OF QUESRIONS ARE THESE 😭😭 good lord. id name it the fucking universe. i had this thing when i was younger where i started this universe and kept building characters upon characters until there were hundreds and i knew each of their intricate storylines and id act them out and it was actually bad bc i couldn’t focus on anything else for literal years (there you go, big moons secret - not rlly a secret, i’ve said it before) so yes. there is an entire universe up in my brain probably.

where do you want to travel the most: i wanna go to the south of france + tokyo + venice, but i heard it’s not all that. my fav places that i’ve been to are vietnam and america which r two very different places and i adored them - vietnam more for the food and culture and surroundings, american more bc of family + tourist attractions + theme parks. so. maybe one of those wins.

[froghwon]

Highlights from the nct dream concert on Friday:

FINALLY GETTING TO MEET CHELLE (@yutagirlie) IN PERSON!!! 😭❤️

getting souvenirs from a local shop and being told 3/4 of the members were in there earlier 🫠🫠

(it had to have been mark and chenle for sure, but the other 1-2 members are a toss up. jisung maybe??? jeno???? 🤷‍♀️)

randomly seeing a Jeno bday truck around pike place market before the concert <3

(not photographed, but there was a chihuahua sitting in the passenger seat that looked sooo tired that it had to be there sjkfdnksj the truck drove away before i could get a pic 😔😔)

getting surprised by a random czennie before the concert, only for her to hand me a bag of jeno goodies before she walked off without giving chelle anything 🤣 (and none for gretchen weiners BYEEEE)

getting a random pc with my dream tshirt, and it being jeno :'')

jarms <3 (and honorable mention to the cleavage)

jenos back 😌🙏

mark during one of his ments said that his fav thing about seattle is that if u go north a bit, vancouver is there lmao (not even anything to do with seattle, seattle sweetie, im so sorry 🤣🤣 but also, u should have come to vancouver on the tour then u bitch)

Before jenos ment, he didnt start talking right away bc people were screaming. but then he cupped his ear like he was waiting to hear something from us??? so people started barking 🤡ksjkdfnks and i joined in bc i thought it was hilarious 🤡🤡 and then haechan started singing happy bday, so we all joined in :P

jisung running across the stage to ask mark for help with his english ment <3 and haechan narrating their off mic convo like "mark, i love you" "jisung i love you too" 🤡

renjun did so well with his english ments!!!! i was so impressed/proud <3333

also jisung is such an incredible live performer fr even when he isnt the center, he puts 100% into his dancing and has incredible stage presence 👌

jaemin having the time of his life during the encore <3

also he put on a cinnamoroll backpack, which matched the one that i wore 😌 (u can see it during the goodbye ment video in my google drive)

my jeno banner and i are visible in the audience photo <3

i put a white arrow pointing to me and my jeno banner :P

all in all, it was a very fun time!! 👍 but i already miss them, and i wanna see them in concert again!!! 😩😩

also i took a few videos during the concert, which u can see in this google drive here (just pretend u cant hear me during saturday drip)

[fuck-customers]

// sui/sh mentions below. y'all have been warned.

my job makes me want to literally end my life. i have honestly stopped looking both ways when crossing the parkinglot bc getting hit by one of the idiot drivers there would be legues better than havjng to go into work. i have started shing again after years because this job is fucking me up mentally

3/4s of the staff are useless/incompetent/genuinely Bad at their jobs and as one of, count them, 5 people who work at the store who can Do their job, and the Only one who has open availability... everything falls on me. like to the point customers and managers from other stores think im a manager but im not.

i cannot become a manager because there's a policy where you need a valid driver's license And an insured car to become one. and i do not/cannot drive.

i dont want to be in retail/food service anymore but what else Is there? i don't drive, i didn't go to college, i've only had two jobs (last one and current one) both in the same area (retail/food service). like, nowhere that isn't what im Stuck In is ever gonna hire me which means im gonna be stuck as a low-wage overworked employee of some bullshit food company forever.

im tired of stupid ass customers who cant be Normal Humans and instead have to yell st my staff because we're out of xyz or they had to wait for their food during a friday lunch rush, or the customers walk into the KITCHEN because my stupid fucking cashiers cannot Stay Up Front and have to instead follow their friend around the store instead of doing their jobs.

im tired of working with a bunch of teenagers who dont even WANT to be working and so they call out half their shifts, show up 30+ minutes late to each shift, dont do their jobs When Theyre Here, and get mad when I call them out on their bull. im tired of the employees who hust cannot do the job right no matter how many times they're told, constantly fucking up simple things because they can't just Stop and Think for one second. and like, i get shit can be hard, im neurodivergent as fuck, and i understand if you need time or help, but tel me instead of doing something wrong and ruining it.

oh! and im tired of a certain lazy-ass manager who does nothing but yell at me and the staff, get mad at things that are their own fault, and sit in the office for most of their shift only to leave two hours early. like??? step up and do ur job and help us and maybe our times and food waste and costs wouldn't be so bad???

like, damn. this place sucks and i dont want to Be Here anymore but where Else am I supposed to go? Christ.

sorry for the rant!!

[steelycunt]

AH !! so you HAVE read it!! im sorry to have described it when u already knew omg..worst nightmare. i bought the hardcover too as a paperback only girl….

3 & 10 for the ask game :)

ahh no dont be silly!! and right wasnt the hardback gorgeous!! i couldnt help it..i treated myself..and thank you!! : ^ ))

3. favourite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

ooh idk!! i dont know if i got really into anyone new this year...i did get much more into dexys midnight runners!! i was already familiar with come on eileen obvs and geno and there there my dear are two of my parents faves so i knew + liked them but i actually listened to stuff of theirs i didnt know, especially on searching for the young soul rebels, and really really liked it!! : ^ )

10. something that made you cry this year?

oh all sorts i cry VERY easily i cried yesterday and ill probably cry tomorrow. but sadder stuff aside...hm well last week my parents were at home watching top of the pops and wings doing mull of kintyre came on so my mum videoed it (she always videos these things for some reason rather than just telling us it was on) and sent it to me and it made me cry because it made me a little homesick...but im going home for christmas on friday!! and i cant wait : ^ )) also the other day i was very drunk walking home alone and was very happy listening to the warmest room by billy bragg on a constant loop so i started crying. worse things to cry over!

end of the year asks

[mcc1334]

Just talking into the void at this point 😅 Anyone, if you see and want to talk, cool, but also feel free to ignore this post, I just need to vent a little.

To no one person in particular... sometimes 8 just cant stand people. I have had my project car for a little over a year and a half now, got it like May 2022. I was told by everyone that they coukd and would help me get it on the road, otherwise I would never have touched something so outside of my ability. Fast forward to now, Ocotber 2023. I have gotten about 2 things done to the car out of the probably like 50 things that need to be done before it is on the road again. About 3 weeks ago I finally got a confirmed "everyone is out" basically so here I am, no help, and an unfinished car. No problem, its all on me, fine. Then its time for everyone to PISS OFF. No advice, no suggestions, no 2 cents, you all had your chance, so get out of the fuckin' way.

I call around, talk to a few shops, find one I feel comfy with that has a guy over 50 who knows about older cars. Not some young 22 year old saying "I can look at your 1967 car!" 🙄 No junior, I am good, I will go with the mechanic who used to work on these when they started in the industry. Tenatively set up an appointment to drop off the car and have them give it a once over and tell me what it will take to be DRIVEABLE. I wanted to take the week and think about a few things and make a list of the issues I knew of with the car before saying a final "yes" to getting it looked at. (There is a post buried on my blog with a little more info on the car if curious. It does have some tags like 1967 dodge etc, I think?)

Anywho, here is where I make my mistake. I start to mention on Monday and Tuesday, in passing, to 2 of the people (the ones who were supposed to help me) about finally making progress with the car and bringing it to a shop. Friday I called and confirmed the appointment, hammer dropped. Car will go there, Tag, you are it, tell me what I need to get it running when I drop it off. Hand clap, I am done. Ahhh, bliss... Now, all weekend, everyone is texting me again offering advice (something I asked for and was basically given 🤷‍♂️ as the answer from everyone before they bowed out) and telling me what shop to bring it to, or "let me call so and so and see if they have any ideas" or "you really should do this BEFORE you get the car running as it could damage the engine if not" 😑😶 . . . Like what the F U C K. SERIOUSLY? 😶 Now, now, NOW is when everyone crawls out of the wood work and wants to second guess things that I had discussed, in detail with them, for them only now to say there is a possible problem with the order of things I was trying to get the work done in?? 😵‍💫🤯🥴 I was basically seething when the last person I clearly told "dont call anyone, I am all set, I do not need to owe anyone any favors or anything. I am good. Dont worry about it" That donkey told me today "oh, I reached out to that guy who doesnt do this any more, that you told me to leave alone, and I told him you asked me to reach out to him to see if he would be interested in helping." Literally do the thing he always tells eveyone he doesnt do anymore cuz it is a pain and he doesnt want to? Wow, thanks... after I told you NOT to? Sweet...

So, yeah, kinda bullshit at everyone who told me they were done with helping but now has all kinds of advice and shit. Piss off, donkeys, I really cant wait to have this beast on the road and just drive by knowing the only thing they all did was slow me down from driving her sooner. And to smash the gas and light up the tires while they sit their with their kids in the family minivans. 🖕🏻

Ok, I am doing ranting into the void. At least for this matter.

Again, not really looking for nor expecting comments or whatever. Just needed to vent