#i chose war when i woke up apparently

[between-two-fandoms]

One night, after they had long shifts and meet up at Buck's loft, Buck's lying on Tommy's chest. Tommy's arms are wrapped around him and he's pressing tender, firm kisses to Buck's head. Buck feels settled into himself, he's more himself than he's ever been before after discovering his bisexuality. He and Tommy cherish their time together, tender touches and soft kisses. They're talking about everything and nothing, simply existing together. Then Tommy asks, "have you ever had your heart broken?"

Buck, to his surprise, doesn't think of Abby. Or Ali, or any of his other exes. He thinks of Kameron and Conner, of the child he helped bring into the world, how he felt pure happiness when it was born. He's always loved kids, but given his family history he never even considered having his own. He thinks about when he said he's perfect, then the crushing realization that ths child in his arms wasn't his.

Buck closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, and can feel sadness crash over him. His breathing turns shaky, and he can feel light tears rolling down his cheeks. He nods against Tommy's shoulder, burying himself into the comfort his boyfriend always provided. "Yeah, once," Buck says, pain seeping into his voice at the memory of the birth he delivered on his couch. He doesn't elaborate. Tommy doesn't ask for details, seeming to realize there's something deeper going on than a relationship breakup. He just holds Buck close, kissing him softly and reassures him with sweet words and gentle praise until Buck falls asleep thinking of a child who hardly knows he exists.

[kilojulietsierra]

Finders Keepers - Capt Ronald Speirs x Nurse!OFC

Summary: Lt. Elaine Walker is apparently the only nurse in her unit not terrified of the new Easy Company CO. As such she gets to know him just a little bit better than anyone else.

Warnings: All of my content is considered 18+ only, slow burn, fluff, eventual relationship, secret relationship, not so secret relationship, flirting in the middle of a war, smoking and drinking, allusions to sex canon typical language, violence and events.

Disclaimer: this work is based on the HBO series Band of Brothers and is in no way meant to disrespect the real heroes of Easy Co.

~~~~~~

She woke up all but burrowed under the covers, warmer and cozier than she'd been in longer than she could remember. On the verge of sleep and waking something was nagging at her. Fighting to stay asleep she wrapped her fist tighter around the edge of the blankets, giving them a tug.

The blankets came freely and she burrowed deeper into her pillow. The one hand she had out in the cool air of the room reached out to the other side of the mattress and stretched out the stiffness. That was when she realized what had awoken her in the first place.

Cigarette smoke.

Reluctantly she cracked her eyes open, it was still dark, the night air was cool and quiet.

"Over here." Ron broke the silence. HIs voice was smooth and quiet, barely disturbing the darkness.

Once her eyes adjusted to the light Elaine saw the cherry red end of his cigarette, "Come back to bed."

"Go back to sleep." HIs voice stayed just as hushed as before, the end of his cigarette glowed brighter for a moment.

"I will." She stretched her entire body and chased after sleep once again. "When you come back to bed."

Across the room he huffed out a silent laugh and took one last, long drag on his cigarettle. In the dark his steps were noiseless and only the faintest shape of him was visible, a silouhette as he passed in front of the moonlit window.

Her eyes had slipped closed once again, only opening when the bed dipped with his weight. She sighed contently as he slid under the blankets beside her once again. Once he was settled he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. "You enjoy bossing your CO around Walker."

Eyes closed and a sleepy smile on her face she rested her head on his chest. "Technically, you're not my CO."

That earned her another huff, a laugh, or as close as it would get. "That so?" His fingers stroked up her bare back. "Pretty sure your chief is reporting to me while your unit is still attached to Easy."

She felt his eyes peering down at her, could imagine the look on his face. Keeping her own eyes closed she chose not to respond.

The next time he spoke the words were whispered directly in her ear, "That would make me your commanding officer," He ducked his head to place a kiss behind her ear, "Technically."

Laney chuckled and pressed herself tighter against him, dropped a kiss of her own against his chest. Followed quickly by her teeth nipping at his pec. "Wise ass."

Ron hissed a little at her sharp teeth, but only retaliated by rolling them over so he was on his side and her back was flush against his chest. "Thought I told you to go back to sleep." He whispered against her ear again,

She settled back against him and hummed. letting her eyes slip closed. "What woke you up?"

His arms around her and his face pressed against the back of her neck he kissed her there. "Just a dream."

"Same one?"

Behind her Ron only hummed.

During the day he was a man of few words for the most part. Being promoted to Captain apparantly hadn't changed that much from what she heard. But, here in Austria, especially with her, he would losen up some. One of those times, late at night, laying in bed together he had told her about his nightmares.

Most of the men had them, she knew that all too well. The boys that came into the aid stations, the hospitals, they all trembled, moaned, sometimes screamed in their sleep. She had seen it plenty of times. They would startle awake. Their sleep haunted, dreams of earth exploding, shells raining down, the images of their friends bloody and mangled beside them..

Captain Speirs was no exception.

"Go back to sleep." Rons voice was even softer as he pulled the blankets up closer around them and settled in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Captain Speirs, Sir?"

Speirs turned around, "What?" he snapped, already sick of people coming and asking him stupid questions.

"SIr, the nurse corps is asking where to set up." The soldier standing in front of him stared blankly as he waited for orders.

Speirs breathed deep through his nose and glanced out the grimey, half shattered window, "Take three men and clear a building across the street."

"Yessir." The boy left to do as he was told.

Less than an half an hour later, as he leaned on the back of the couch talking to a shivering, coughing Lipton, Speirs was once again interrupted.

~~~

When the chief nurse came to them they were unloading the last of the supplies. "Captain Winters is requesting someone to report to company E CP, they have men there that need attention."

Elaine and the other nurses stopped what they were doing. One of them spoke up, "Why can't they just come here? We are almost set up."

The chief nurse simply stared back at them, "Apparantly they're too busy."

"Isn't that what medics are for?" Another girl asked.

"Will one of you please, just go report to Captain Speirs. Don't make me order you."

The girls all exchanged a look. "Captain Speirs, ma'am?" Even the nurse corp had heard the stories. Boys coming into feild hospitals and aid stations were full of them. The nurses had all heard of the infamous Captain Speirs by now.

"Yes, Captain Speirs. He's the Easy Company commanding officer."

Glancing amongst themselves the nurses remained silent. After a long, tense moment Elaine jumped down from the truck with a humph and grabbed her kit, "I'll go Teresa." She slung her bag over her shoulder and took a look around at the wide eyes staring at her. With a snort she added, "I could use a cigarette anyway."

Laney ignroed the snickering and whispering behind her as she jogged across the street. Stepping quicker at the sound of artillery screaming overhead. Once she made it across the street to the company CP she ducked inside as a shell hit somewhere nearby.

The men looked up as she entered. One of them standing behind the couch looked her over as he stood to his full height, "Aid station is set up across the way."

Laney squared up to the Captain from across the room, "I'm well aware SIr. I've been sent to see to someone here."

The man on the couch sat up a ittle straighter, fighting back a coughing fit. "See who?" A shiver rolled through him as soon as he finished talking.

With a snort and a hint of a smile Laney shrugged out of her satchel and walked over to the couch, "I'm willing to bet that'd be you Sargent." Kneeling down beside him she gave him a quick once over and felt at his cheek and forehead. "You should be laying down somewhere trooper."

"Exactly what I said." Speirs spoke up from behind the couch, his eyes meeting hers and his lips twitching the slightest bit as though he may smile if he weren't careful. "In the back. Let her take a look at you Lip, that's an order."

With a cough and a little help, Sargent Lipton got to his feet, taking the blanket with him. "Yes Sir."

Speirs nodded to Lip and then looked back to Laney, "What's your name, Nurse?"

Laney shot him a look, "Lieutenant."

"Your name is Lieutenant?" His lips twitched again.

"My rank." She wrapped Liptons arm over her shoulders and picked up her bag. "If you'll excuse us, Sir?"

Speirs' eyes were dark and he did finally crack the barest of smiles as he nodded his approval, "Lieutenant. Lip, get some rest."

"Sir." Lip nodded and together he and Laney headed for the back of the building.

At the door Laney tugged Lipton to a stop and turned back to Speirs, "Say Captain, got any cigarettes?" Lip jerked his head up to look at her in surprise.

Back in the main room Speirs met her gaze with an honest to God smirk, "Fresh out."

~~~

Later that evening, when Laney had finally finished with the officers and non-coms and their multitudes of 'minor' ailments they'd all been dutifully ignoring, she was surprised to find that Speirs was still there.

He sat in relative darkness, save for the one kerosene lamp turned down low in the corner. His eyes were closed and he was slouched back in his chair, one muddy boot kicked up on the desk. Laney thought he must be asleep so she stepped quietly past him.

"Lieutenant Walker." Laney stopped in her tracks, not questioning how he'd gotten her name, and turned back towards the desk he'd moved into the corner and away from the windows. Now his eyes were wide open but his posture remained the same. "Captain."

Speirs seemed to be studying her intently for a long moment. "How are the men?"

Taking a breath, forcing herself to relax, Laney kept her voice down to match his, "Wore out." She took a few steps closer, "To say the least."

He nodded. "A little out of uniform aren't you Lietenant?" His eyes held hers, a hint of something in them. He looked her up and down, taking in the state of her dress.

A pair of hand me down jump trousers and a four pocket jacket a size or two too big over layers against the cold. She carried a bag like a medic, noticeably emptier than it was when she arrived, a battered helmet with the red cross peeling on one side . He saw a pair of fingerless gloves tucked in the utility belt she had cinched around her waist and noticed that the brown leather was stained darker with blood.

Laney rolled her eyes and cocked her hip, "Well, Sir, a white dress and stalkings don't fair too well on the line."

Speirs chuckled. "Appreciate you taking care of them."

"It's what I'm here for." She spared him a smile. "How 'bout you Captain?"

"How about me?" Foot still propped on his desk he crossed his arms, smirking again like he had earlier.

"Need me to take a look at anything?" She nodded his direction for emphasis.

Speris shook his head, "I'm doin' just fine Lieutenant." He held her gaze for a moment and eventually bobbed his head towards the door, "Go get some rest."

"Yes sir." She hiked her bag higher on her shoulder and turned to leave, "Good night Captain."

"Good night Lieutenant." At the door she stopped, and dug through one of her jacket pockets until she pulled out a crumpled pack of Lucky Strikes. She tossed them to the Captain and chuckled when he had to quickly uncross hs arms to catch them. "Laney."

Speirs held up the pack of smokes in thanks, "Ron."

He watched her smile and then disappear out the door. Once she was gone he chuckled to himself and pulled a cigarette out of the pack and lit it. He was still smiling when he stuffed the pack in his pocket, recrossed his arms and closed his eyes again.

~~~

When Easy moved out of Haguenau, Laney and the other nurses hung back with the rest of the support staff. At least until they could receive word from Easy and the rest of the battalion that Sturzelburg was secure enough for them to enter. Once they had received the all clear they rolled in with their jeeps and trucks.

At the center of town they dismounted and it was Lieutenant Elaine Walker that was once again sent to the CP. After their group of nurses had linked up with Easy on the other side of the French/German border Lieutenant Walker had been designated the unofficial go between for the Nurse Corp and Easy Company. The other nurses were still hesitant to approach the Company CO.

They apparently weren't so scared of him that they didn't gossip about him plenty. Speirs, Nixon, Winters... Of course any of them would volunteer to go to Nixon or Major Winters in a heartbeat, bicker for the chance even. Captain Speirs on the other hand, well, Laney was the lucky one. Not that she minded all that much anymore, if she were telling the truth. Her interactions with the Captain were limited but they got on well enough. Quite well actually.

Laney approached a group of soliders congregated on the steps of one of the shops. "Any of y'all seen Captain Speirs?"

The lot of them stood up a little straighter. One with southern accent, much thicker than her own, spoke up, "Yes ma'am, he's clearing houses down that way." He pointed down the street.

With her thanks Laney headed down the street. She finally found him in the fourth house she checked. He was jogging down the stairs with a trayful of treasures. "Lieutenant Walker." Speirs spared her a fraction of a smile as he stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

Laney chuckled as she walked over to see what he'd found. "Captain." She plucked the silver tray dangling from one hand out of his grasp and studied it. Flipping it over and over watching the way the sun bounced off the surface.

"Have they set you up somewhere yet?" He moved to prop a hip on the table.

"Not yet. We just rolled in." She set the platter down and continued to peer through his newest collection. "You've been busy." Laney picked up an intricate, decorative hair comb and admired it. Her fingertips tracing the delicate, silver flower petals. It was the kind that was too pretty to be used.

Speirs huffed out a laugh, "I'll have the boys clear a house for you. Help you ladies get up and running."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Told you," He ducked his head slightly to catch her eye, "Call me Ron." He was grinning when he said it and he grinned a little wider when he caught her smiling down at the floor.

Laney looked at him out the corner of her eye, "Right... Ron." She turned to face him, still holding the silver comb. "How much of this stuff you sent home already?"

His face remained the same as he shrugged. "A little here and there."

She chuckled, "Mhmm, a little." Laney took one last look at the comb and set it down carefully back on the tray. "Who should I find? To get us a building?" She noticed the way his eyes flicked from the movement of her hands back to her face. The fact she could get away with snooping through his loot without retribution pleased her more than it should.

Speirs smirked, stood up straight and situated his grip on the tray full of treasures. "I'll grab some men."

"What about your treasures here?" She pointed.

His face sobered slightly, "We'll stop on the way." He nodded toward the second tray she'd left on the table, signaling for her to make herself useful.

When she reached for the empty tray a noise upstairs caught her attention, stopped her in her tracks. Her head tipped back she looked up at the floor above them. It was pretty obvious what the source of the noise was and Laney pulled her lips between her teeth, trying not to laugh. "Glad everyone else is enjoying themselves."

She walked towards the door where Speirs was waiting and she tried not to turn too red when her gaze met his for a second too long. She felt his eyes on her as she walked out of the building in front of him but him nearly getting ran over by the jeep broke the tension as she tried and failed not to laugh.

His scowl was half hearted but no less effective as he pointed her towards the APO.

Laney also couldn't help but notice the way the soldiers jumped out of his way or the looks they gave her as she followed him in. She was still staring them down on their way out the door when Ron sat his loot down on the counter for the private.

WIth one hand he set the two packs of smokes down and with the other deftly grabbed the comb off the tray to sneak it back in his pocket. "Laney."

She spun around and chuckled when he pointed to the tray she still held. Laney handed it over and stayed in the same spot as Ron conducted his business.

When he was done he turned to leave and had made it to the door, his hand settled on her back to guide her out when the private had spoken up.

Laney had stiffened slightly under his hand. He'd never touched her before and while it was unfamiliar it was not unpleasant. His hand stayed there as he looked back to the Private and had given him that unsettling smile. "Finders keepers." Rons fingers had flexed at her back as he'd said it and then he had ushered her out the door.

~~~

Laney had followed the low murmur of mens voices and smell of cigarette smoke down the stairs where battalion had set up HQ.

When she found the source Lipton was the first one to notice her, "Evening ma'am."

Speirs looked up from his cards, lips twitching as he gave her a nod.

Harry gave her a big smile, "Lieutenant Walker! Lovely night ain't it."

She chuckled as she stepped further into the room, "Isn't it past you boys bed time?"

"Mom said we could stay up late, as long as we finished our schoolwork and brushed our teeth." Harry giggled at his own joike.

Laney glanced around the table. Harry had quite the collection of bottles beside him, Lip a single bottle of half drank beer and the Captain had an empty bottle and a coffee cup in front of him, a cigarette smoldering between his fingers.

Speirs was the one to question her, face unreadable but his eyes searching hers, "What brings you by Lieutenant?"

Hands braced on the back of Harrys chair she shrugged, "Dropping of requisition forms, hard to get paperwork done furing the day." She held Rons gaze a moment longer before she broke away, "So, who's winning?" She looked over Harry's shoulder and gave him a consoling pat on the arm, "Obviously not Lieutenant Welsh here."

Harry groaned as Lipton laughed and Ron raised again. "I'm out." He dropped his cards face down on the table. "That's just plain rude."

Laney laughed and threw the other two men a wink. "Y'all stay out of trouble." She turned to leave but Liptons voice stopped her in the doorway.

"You play cards Lieutenant?"

She turned to look back at him, momentarily distracted by watching Rons hand shuffle the deck of cards. "Better than Harry." They all shared a laugh and she watched as Ron started to deal. Harry grrumbled but Speirs and Lip both smiled.

"Have a seat." Ron flicked his eyes up to hers as he dealt.

"Don't have any cash."

"Use Nix's." Ron had already dealt her a hand at Nixons empty seat. He quirked his lips into a smile, cigarette dangling between them as he spoke, "He won't miss it."

After a moment of hesitation she smiled, "Sure." and made her way around the table to take Nixons empty seat.

Lip stood up, "Care for a drink ma'am?" already on his way to grab her a beer.

"You can call me Elaine, you know that right?" Laney smiled as she sat down, and couln't help but catch the look on Ron's face.

He hid a smile by taking a long drag on the end of his cigarette, obviously pleased he was still the only one that got to call her Laney. Hands dealt, fresh cigarettes lit and a bottle of beer in front of her, Ron looked up and gave her smirk, "Ladies first."

A couple hours later Laney collected her most recent winnings with a giggle much to the disdain of the men around her.

"This is your fault." Harry stabbed a wavering finger in Liptons direction.

"Not his fault you're a shit card player." Laney smiled as she straightened out the dollar bills and added them to her stack. The couple beers she'd had were hitting her and she was enjoying herself.

Lip was glassy eyed and grinning as he collected the cards to reshuffle.

Ron had finished his coffee then had one more drink himsefl. His eyes were still sharp but he was slouched back in his chair and had run his hand through his hair enough it was hanging over his brow as it sometimes did. "Don't be a sore loser Welsh."

"Easy for you to say, she didn't take all your money." Harry groused as he scowled at his empty beer bottle.

"Not all of it." Ron smirked at her as she folded her winnings neatly and pushed back from the table.

"Wait, where you going?" Lip looked up mid-shuffle.

"Gentleman, it's been fun, but I think I'm gonna call it a night." Laney smiled wide as she pocketed the cash she had collected.

"Not gonna walk off with Nix's money are you?" Ron looked up at her, still with a smirk on his face.

"Like you said, he won't miss it." She pushed her chair in and waved them all a, "Good night."

Ron sat up straighter, "Where are you billeted?"

Laney leaned on the back of the chair, tipsy enough she had to think for a second, "We have a house, other side of town."

WIth a glance at his watch, Ron pursed his lips and snubbed out his cigarette. "It's late, I'll walk you."

As the two of them left the room Lip and Welsh exchanged a look, a long and knowing look.

~~~

The girls were exhausted, all of them sitting around the long, dining room table eating in silence. After the things they had seen that day outside of Lansburg, none of them had much to say. Or much of an appetite for that matter.

Laney was sitting about halfway down on one side. Staring at the meal they had scrounged together for themselves. She couldn't bring herself to eat any of it though. Not after that.

All of them startled slghtly at the sound of the heavy front door opening. They all seemed to hold their breath while they waited. A moment later Captain Speirs and Lieutenant Lipton appeared in the entryway. Both of them just as exhausted as the rest of them.

Their chief nurse stood up to greet the officers.

Lipton offered a brave attempt at a smile. Speirs merely nodded, "Ma'am. Can you spare one of the nurses?"

Teresa, the chief nurse, asked "Has something happened?" The fear of what else they could possible have found evident in her voice.

"Nothing ma'am." Captain Speirs removed his helmet and shoved his sweat soaked hair back, "Our medics are all still at the camp and, well," He exchanged a glance with Lip, "I'd just feel better if someone could take a look at a few of my men."

WIthout a single word every eye in the room turned on Elaine. With closed eyes she took a deep, fortifying breath. Then she pushed back from her untouched plate and stood on tired legs. "I'll go." She didn't spare a look at her fellow nurses as she walked past them all to grab her coat and bag from the hooks by the door. Shrugging into the jacket she turned to Speirs and Lipton, "Lead the way." The men both nodded and replaced their helmets on their heads.

~~~

If Laney thought she was exhausted after a day of assisting at the camp, then she was well and truly done for after the evening of taking care of the shocky servicemen.

There was no class or training they had been given to know how to care for the young men that saw the atrocities that had been found that day. She had done the best that she could but it felt wholly inadequate.

She had stopped in the sitting room of the home in use as the CP and dropped her bag and helmet on the floor by one of the overly ornate sofas before dropping herself onto it with a pathetic groan. Her intention had just been to sit for a moment, but then as she sat her muscles turned to jelly and her eyes became heavy. Almost without thought she stretched out to lay down.

Laney jumped awake a short while later with a start. Heart pounding in her chest and blood rushing in her ears, her eyes flew open. What had awoken her was the weight of a blanket settling over her. Once her vision cleared she saw that it was Speirs who was laying the blanket down.

"What's wrong?" She started but was cut short.

Speirs shook his head. "Nothing." and then put a firm, reassuring hand on her shoulder to keep her from sitting up. She had a fleeting thought that his eyes looked softer, almost sweeter than she'd ever seen them.

He was also closer to her than he'd ever been before. His hair was still a disheveled mess and his face looked as tired as she felt. For some reason, possibly the exhaustion, she did not argue or ask futher questions. Instead she closed her eyes and sunk back into the couch.

Before she drifted off to sleep again she felt the blanket as it was pulled back over her and the warmth of a hand smoothing over back.

When she woke she could tell she had not moved an inch, the blanket wrapped tight around her as she huddled on the couch that wasn't nearly as comfortable as it had felt when she first dozed off on it the night before. As she sat up the thin wool blanket pooled around her waist and every bone in her body ached.

Without much of a thought she draped the blanket over the back of the couch, collected her bag and helmet off the ground, and left to head back to the building where they had set up the hospital. It was when she ran into one of the other nurses in the street that she learned Hitler had committed suicide.

The end was in sight at last

~~~

Later, in the back of a jeep following along behind Easy company on their way to Berchtesgaden, Laney sat with with her knees bent and her boots braced against the back of the seat in front of her.

The country was beautiful and the morning chill in the air invigorating to their tired bodies and souls. For somethhing to do more than anythng she shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket and tipped her head back, intending to take a nap.

There was something in her pocket she didn't immediatly recognize. At first she thought it might be a pair of scissors she forgot to put back in her bag. The touch of cool metal against her fingers led her to believe, but it didn't feel quite right. When she pulled the item from her pocket her breath actually caught in her throat.

In her palm lay the beautiful silver comb she had been admiring from among Captain Speirs loot back in Sturzelburg. The one with the intricate flower adorning the handle.

On reflex she cloesd her fingers around the comb and shoved it back in her pocket before the other girls in the jeep could see. The whole rest of the way to Germany her mind spun. Had he given it to her? When though? Surely she'd remember. Last she had seen it she had laid it carefully on the tray with the rest of his haul. He must of snuck it in her pocket. Then she remembered.

The night after they had found that camp, she had fallen asleep on the couch and woken up to him, Ron, giving her a blanket.

Inside her pocket she couldn't stop running her fingers over the intricate engraving on the body of the comb. She also could not stop herself from thinking about Captain Speirs.

Once they were in Berchesgarten everything went fast. Once the town itself was clear, an easy feat for the boys as it was mostly abondoned, the nurse corp got to work setting up the aid station in a floor of the hotel.

Laney hadn't seen Speirs since they arrived but she tracked him down easily enough that afternoon. She found him on a balcony of the hotel smoking a cigarette with his back to the railing and his thompson leaned up beside him. He looked up at her as she came out onto the balcony.

For a moment he looked like he was going to say something but with a smirk laney just leaned against the door and held the comb up for him to see. Instead of whatever he had been about to say he just smiled and dragged on his cigarette. "Where'd you get that?"

Her eyes flicked to the back of her head quickly before she put the comb back in her pocket. "That's what I've been wondering." She crossed the small balcony to lean against the railing beside him.

He held her gaze for a long moment. Smirking when she didn't look away from him. "Finders keepers."

Finishing the rest of his cigarette Speirs stood up straight. He was closer now and she had to look up slightly to look him in the eye.

Rather than say anything else Laney placed one hand on his jaw and stood on her toes to kiss him on the opposite cheek. "Thank you Ron."

When she pulled back Ron still had that easy smirk on his face as he gazed down at her. Rather than admit to anything he gave her a wink and headed back inside. At the doors he paused and turned back to her "We're down a medic."

Her blank stare was her only response.

"Easy is going up there." He nodded towards the Eagle's Nest and then back down to Laney. "Wanna come with us?" Speirs shrugged, "Just in case."

He was doing that thing again. Where his stare was dark and calculating but the very corner of his lips twitched like he was holding back a smile.

Laney slouched back against the railing, "Just in case." She repeated his own words back to him.

With a nod Speirs said, "C'mon." And so that was how she found herself in the back of a jeep as it climbed its way up the switchback roads of an Alpine mountain. Creeping ever closer to the supposed last Nazi stronghold.

At the top of the mountain the first few men of Easy company were at the door staging to enter by the time Laney jumped down out of the jeep behind Speirs. Halfway to the door Speirs put a hand to her elbow and stopped her in her tracks. "Here. Stay close," He left his hand on her a moment longer than necessary, "Just in case."

Laney snorted, "Yeah. Just in case."

Speirs gave her a nod, nudged her behind him and the others. After the first group of soldiers were through the door she followed them in.

For her part Laney just looked around. Keeping within sight of at least one of the men at all times. It was almost on accident that she stumbled upon the room with the three dead Nazi officers. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing in the doorway when Speirs appeared behind her.

She flinched a little, snapped out of her daze, but stilled when she felt his hand in the middle her back. He guided her further into the room so he could step past her and one by one kicked over the bodies, his pistol at the ready in one hand, though it was obvious he wouldn't need it.

As he knelt down by one of them Laney circled the room. She came to a stop in front of a desk to one side and decided to take a hint from the others, so she started rummaging. Not much caught her eye other than a silver cigarette case she found with the Nazi eagle on it and a set of fountain pens. The others could take the big stuff. At least this way she could say she brought something back with her.

When she turned back towards Speirs he was digging through the last German's pockets, but his eyes were on her and he had a smirk on his face.

Laney shoved her trinkets in an inside jacket pocket and shrugged, "Finders keepers. Right?"

WIth a nod he jerked something out from under the dead mans torso and stood up. Speirs took his own sidearm and slipped it into its holster before holding the luger up between them. As he walked back towards her he dropped the magazine out of a Luger he had apparently found, checked the chamber and slammed the magazine back home. "Here." He came to stand directly in front of her and offered her the pistol.

She must have looked as uncertain as she felt because he spoke up. "How many nurses you think get the chance to take a German officers sidearm home as a souvenir?" He nodded to her and gestured to the handgun again.

It felt strange in her hands. She was smart enough to know that the officer Ron had found this gun on had used it to take his own life. It felt wrong, but Ron was right. "You don't want it?"

He smirked, "I've got plenty." and took the Luger from her before grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around so he could stow it in her bag for her. When he spun her back around he kept his voice down, "Don't let anyone know you got that."

Laney nodded and without another word between them he led her out the door. At the door a loud, echoing pop caused Laney to flinch. Her hand jumped out to fist in Rons sleeve and she took half step backwards.

Ron tensed slightly but breathed out a sigh of exasperation, his right hand smoothing up and down her back as he coaxed her forward into the main hall. Where they found Malarkey swigging straight from a champagne bottle.

She couldn't help but laugh at herself as Ron sent the trooper out to guard the entrance until WInters could arrive. For a moment Laney couldn't help but get lost in his eyes and the way he turned back to look at her. There was something in them she couldn't put a finger on. She knew what she hoped it was and for a moment she felt her body lean in, caught the way those hard eyes softened, and then another loud pop had her heart jumping up into her throat again. Once again she flinched and grabbed ahold of Rons jacket, the front of it this time as she broke into giggles.

"Your boys are gonna kill me, I swear." She berated herself for being so jumpy.

Ron put his hand on her again and looked unmistakably irritated, "Not if I kill them first." He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he gave her side a comforting squeeze. When he saw her still smiling he relaxed a little. He heard Welsh and Nixon, their voices carrying well through the castle like halls. Eyes still just as dark, but with a little less murder in them, Ron spared her a grin. "Stay and celebrate?"

Her heart in her throat again Laney released her death grip on the front of his jacket and returned his smile. "I better head back. They were still setting up BAS when I left."

WIth a slow blink, as if to collect himself, Ron nodded and seemed to wait until the last possible second to remove his hand from her waist. He had just let her go when Nix entered the room to order all champagne bottles be rounded up for questioning, at once.

Laney chuckled and shook her head, "Y'all try not to have too much fun." She smiled at Ron and then turned to leave, patting Nixon on the shoulder as she passed by.

~~~

Ronald Speirs was not the kind of officer made to sit at a desk. He despised it and tried to avoid it at all costs. Now that the Nazis had surrendered however, he found he spent much more time doing exactly that than he did running into the fire. He'd prefer that.

He was leaning on his desk, staring at reports when there was a knock at his door. "Enter." He didn't look up when the door opened. He didn't look up until whoever had come into his office had gone a long moment without speaking. So, annoyed, he stood up straight to address them.

The sight of Lieutenant Elaine Walker in her dress uniform stopped him with his mouth hanging open. The scowl wiped right off his face.

She was biting back a smile by the time he squared himself away.

"Good to see you in proper attire finally, Lieutenant." If his gaze lingered a little too long anywhere she apparantly wasn't going to call him out on it.

"Glad you approve, Sir." She nearly chuckled as she stood before him.

It wasn't that Speirs wasn't used to seeing other nurses on the line in scrounged, patched, borrowed gear. It was also plenty common to see them running around in the more practical uniform of trousers and shirts. So common that Ron hadn't really stopped to consider the alternative.

"God, you are beautiful." He threw pretense out the window. The war was as good as over. They were safe in Austria.

To her credit, as surprised as she appeared to be, Laney laughed. Smiled bright with flushed cheeks. "Glad you finally noticed."

Speirs chuckled, leaned back to sit against the edge of his desk like he had been when she had first entered his office.

"Oh I noticed before but..." He trailed off, honestly not sure how to finish his thought.

Across the room Laney leaned against the doorjam, still smiling. "Amazing what a skirt and pair of heels can do. Isn't it?"

Ron licked his lips and looked down to the floor, chuckling softly. "Unless you prefer your girls in boots and baggy pants." She was poking fun at him now, enjoying her upperhand.

"Come up here just to torture me Lieutenant?" He looked back to her out the corner of his eye, doing his best to sound stern.

She stood up straight, "No Sir, but it is fun." Laney approached him and his desk. She came to a halt a respectable distance away. "The others are still too scared to talk to you." They shared a smile. "Came up to see if Easy was going to require our unit full time or if we could help out the hospital they have set up in town. They need help prepping wounded to relocate or ship back to the states."

Speirs sobered slightly and crossed his arms. "Don't think second Battalion will be seeing much action anytime soon. Surely the hospital needs you more than we do." He seemed regretful to say it, "I'll check with Winters, but I see no harm in it."

"Yes Sir, thank you." Laney nodded and stood up straight, gave him a small, sincere smile. "It's been an honor Captain. For all of us."

Speirs nodded. Looked her in the eye and returned her smile. With a final nod and a click of her heels she turned towards the door and headed to leave.

Ron decided to push his luck just a little further. He stood up straight and called after her, "Laney."

She stopped in her tracks and turned to face him, but didn't say anything. Just gave him that same, easy smile.

He closed the distance between them and appreciated the fact that even though his strides were purposeful she stood her ground. When he stood in front of her finally he looked her over once more and then settled his gaze on hers. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to.

By the time his hand had moved to cup her jaw, her gorgeous green eyes had slipped closed and her lips parted for him as soon as his mouth covered hers. He was about to pull back, keep it brief, when she moaned. A tiny, sweet little sound in the back of her throat and Ron decided he wasn't done yet. He slid his hand around from cupping her cheek to hold her by the back of the neck.

That action caused her to lean into him, her hands braced against his chest as their kiss escalated. Finally regaining the little bit control he'd let slip, Ron pulled away from her. Keeping her close with the hand still cradling the back of her neck.

WIth her eyes still closed Laney whined the slightest bit at the loss, the fingers of her right hand fisting into the fabric of his shirt. Ron had to close his eyes and breathe deep.

He allowed himself one more, a soft pass over her lips as he held her chin by his thumb and forfinger. This time when they seperated her eyes were open and she was smiling.

Her eyes locked on his for a moment before she licked her lips and chuckled, "I should go before they start to worry what you might have done to me."

All Ron could do was chuckle and nod. Then kiss her one more time.

"Ron..." She returned the kiss and then chased after another, "I really should go."

He hummed an affirmative just as he pulled her back into him. Smiling into this one, final, kiss as she started to laugh. "You better go."

Laney nodded, rolling her eyes a bit as she pushed away from him. "Y'know..." She backed towards the door, "It's only a five, maybe ten minute drive into town from here."

Ron wached her like a hawk as she backed away from him. Her pupils still dark and wide, her cheeks a pretty pink. He pursed his lips and nodded, "Good to know."

God help him and his unholy thoughts as he watched her wink and turn away from him to finally walk out of his office. He kept his eyes on her backside until all that remained was the sound of her heels clicking down the halls.

Mind spinning with the possibiliies he reached into his shirt pocket for his smokes and frowned when he came up empty handed. He swtiched and reached into his other pocket but no luck. He finally cracked a wide smile and laughed quietly to himself as he looked out the empty doorway. With a shake of his head he walked back around his desk and dropped into his chair, already formulating a plan to go steal them back.

~~~

Laney smiled up at him as soon as she opened the door. "Captain, odd seeing you here this late."

"Your friends downstairs think you're in some kind of trouble." Ron cocked his head at her, keeping up the charade of a disgruntled CO.

"Am I?" She leaned against the door and looked up at him expectantly. "Depends on if you used up all my smokes." He cracked a small smirk.

Laney stepped back, leaving the door open, and walked across her small hotel room to pick up a pack of cigarettes off the dressing table. She held them out at arms length and Speirs took the hint to come rest the way into the room.

He swung the door shut behind him and took the smokes from her. After a quick glance at the pack he looked back at her. "You didn't take any."

She shrugged, "Don't smoke."

Ron scoffed and tossed the pack back where she had grabbed it. Then he reached for the sleeve of her shirt. Tugging her closer as he looked her over.

She'd removed her jacket and tie, kicked off her heels and was walking around in stocking feet. Her hair was down too and Speirs realized he'd never seen it that way. It was a pretty auburn color and hung just past her shoulders.

Laney came easily when he pulled her to him, resting her hands on his torso as she stepped in close. Her voice was soft as she asked, "How long can you stay?"

His hands settled on her waist and pulled her the last little bit closer. "Awhile."

This time when he kissed her she stood up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. And this time he didn't have to stop.

~~~

Ron found he couldn't tell her no when she asked so sweet, voice soft and sleepy with her eyes fighting to stay open, for him to stay. She felt so good; naked and warm and relaxed as she lay beside him.

Laney had laid her head on his chest while he smoked a cigarette, her leg hooked over his and her fingers tangled in the chain of his dog tags.

He smiled when he felt her breathing get shallow and the unmistakeable twitches as she fought sleep. Ron switched his cigarette to the other hand and tipped her face up to his. His own eyes were growing heavy as he smiled at her softly, fondly. "I'll have to get up early."

She huffed out a snicker and pried her eyes open, "As long as you're quiet about it."

WIth a shake of his head Ron rolled his eyes and dropped his head back into the pillows, more relaxed than he'd been in too long. He took a long drag, hurrying to finish the last of the cigarette, "Oh you're waking up too, sweetheart,"

"No Sir." The humor in her voice was as thick as the exhaustion and the southern accent. "Not a chance."

Ron smiled around the end of his cigarette and let smoke roll out with his chuckle. He stretched one long arm out to snub it out in a dish on the table and tipped her face back to him as he settled into bed fully. "Darlin," He kissed her firmly and thouroughly and when he finished his sentence he did it a breath away from her lips, "If I wake up in bed with you I'm gonna have to have you again."

Ron kissed her again, before she could form a response and so it came out as a pleased little moan in the back of her throat. When he did pull away she was smiling, "I'll allow it."

God she made him smile. He had started to realize that, when it was just the two of them, he couldn't help himself. Especially now that they were kissing and falling into bed together. Speirs ran his fingers through her hair and cupped the back of her neck to kiss her once more, "Good night sweetheart."

Laney smiled into the kiss and her whole body seemed to melt, "Good night." She was asleep as soon as her head laid back on his chest and with a content sight Ron let his eyes fall closed and followed right behind her.

~~~

A few days later Laney was in a jeep with three other girls heading around the lake and up the hill to Batallion HQ. The hospital that had been set up was immediately flooded and was already low on supplies. They'd volunteered to make a run to batallion mostly just for an excuse to get out of the wards.

The nurse driving slowed down as they came to the guard gate. While the guard checked their papers Marge, the girl riding shotgun, pointed to a field ahead of them and off to the side. "Would ya look at that?" The guard let them through and they all looked where Marge was pointing.

Out in the field Easy Company was doing morning PT. Even from this distance Laney could recognize Ron standing at the front of the formation. As their jeep came closer they could hear him too.

Back in the jeep they had slowed to almost a crawl, all of the girls staring on with no shame. Marge spoke up, "Man what I'd give to be down there."

"Doing pushups?" the girl driving asked.

"No, on my back under one of those paratroopers." Marge joked, eyes still fixed on the company as they kept up their pushups.

"Jesus Christ Marge." Laney and the girl beside her both laughed.

Marge continued, "Have you seen some of these guys? I mean I can see their muscles from here."

Down on the field Speirs was yelling again. He had the men holding on an up and apparantly some of the replacements weren't performing up to his standards. From their spot on the road the nurses could see the backs of some of the men shifting, the strain of holding that position for too long too much on them.

Claire, usually one of the quieter ones, spoke up. "I'm half scared of him, but boy that Captain Speirs..." She didn't finish her thought beyond that.

Claire was a new addition to their unit, she hadn't been around for the early days when Speirs was more often covered in sweat, mud and blood. She only knew the clean cut, squared away Captain.

Up front Marge snorted, "I don't know what's got him in a mood today, but I tell you what, I'd let him yell at me like that all he wanted."

Laney laughed, "Marge you got somehin' wrong with you, y'know that right?" She knew it was the replacements that were grating on him. He had complained about them the night before. The newest of them had barely seen real combat and as far as he was concerned that meant they'd never be good enough. The training they'd received before shipping out was nowhere near enough and it showed.

"All I'm sayin' is, if he wanted to... he could." Marge winked at them all and left the rest up for interpretation.

Again Clare surprised them all a little, "I'd just be happy if he came in to get stitched up, even once. Just to see him with his shirt off."

She was glad none of them were looking at her when she had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. "You said the same thing about Nixon, and Major Winters."

"And Bull, and Lieutenant Lipton." Marge added on with a laugh. "But come on Elaine, you sayin' you wouldn't want to get some exercise with one of those strapping, young men?"

The jeep was moving again and Laney spared one more glance at Speirs, up on his feet again and giving orders. "I can't stand push-ups."

The girls all laughed and continued on towards the HQ. Laney thought to herself, still fighting back a smirk, she wasn't one to get overly crude or share gratuitous details with the girls, but there was a little part of her that would get some real enjoyment out of wiping that smirk off Marge's face.

Marge and Laney were two of the four nurses that still remained of their original unit and so they had known eachother since the beginning. They were good friends, but certainly had their differences. Marge had never hidden that she liked certain things about her men, and enjoyed certain activities in the bedroom other girls would balk at.

Laney knew this about her and one of these days she fully intended to ruin Marge's daydreams about Captain Ronald Speirs.

Her friend Marge had made poor Claire blush so red the other night Laney thougt they might have to get the poor girl a bag of ice and a rosary. Recounting a story of a rendevous she'd had with an RAF pilot that involved some ropeburns, plenty of bruises and if Laney were honest, if a man had said the things to her that pilot had said to Marge, well... she would have pistol whipped him. That was Marge though, she liked that kind of thing.

When Laney sat there in that jeep and thought about being with Ron the the last few weeks, especially the night before, she smirked.

He'd been waiting in her room for her when she'd come back from her last rounds of the night. She found him sitting in the chair by the window with his boots up on the sill and a cigarette in his hand. He hadn't even said anything when she came in, just watched her as she kicked off her heels and walked over towards him. WIth one last drag on his cigarette he tossed it out the window, then reached out for her waist and pulled her down onto his lap.

"Hey." She leaned down to kiss him. It was almost habit already.

His kissed her back and gave her hip a squeeze. Watching her as she immediately settled her weight into him and closed her eyes. "Tired?"

"Mhmm." was her only response.

Of his own accord Speirs began pulling the pins from her hair until he could comb his fingers through it. For such a violent and intimidating solider, with her he was a gentle man. Sure he'd given her a swat on the ass here and there if she talked back and he could certainly manhandle her around the bedroom, but he'd never hit her or hurt her, she knew that. They'd tease eachother, he'd whisper things in her ear that made her cheeks bloom red but he'd never disrespect her.

As she had sat there in his lap, his fingers combing out her hair Laney couldn't help the feeling that overtook her. The way he looked at her so intensely, so intently. He was a hard man, all muscle and backbone, no fear of death. He was a leader of hard men. An animal. A killer. Yet, as she leaned down to kiss him she had felt his hand so soft and careful at her cheek, his rough thumb stroking her delicate skin.

She was certain then and she was certain now, she was falling in love with Captain Ronald Speirs. The only reason that didn't scare the absolute hell out of her was because she was fairly certain he was falling in love with her too.

~~~

Laney lay in bed on her stomach, snuggled in blankets and her arms wrapped around the pillow where she rested her head. She was beyond comfortable and watched with a slight smile on her face as Ron reassembled the handgun he had just meticulously cleaned.

He sat on the couch across the small apartment from her, wearing only a pair of trousers he had pulled back on and his dog tags. His hair a dishevelled mess, a cigartte hung from his lips and smoke rolled out his nose as his steady and practiced hands moved through the pieces of his sidearm until it was whole again. Shiny, spotless and in perfect working order. He blew out a puff of smoke as he worked the slide back and forth a couple times, then squeezed the trigger and let it snap forward with finality. His thumb released the hammer before he set the .45 down on the table and grabbed the cigarette from his mouth to knock the ash off into a tray. "You're staring." His voice was soft and low and he grinned without looking her way.

Laney smiled wider and stretched slightly under the sheets. "You're fun to stare at."

Speirs snorted out a laugh as he reached for the rag and jar of polish also on the table. "Why don't you get some sleep sweetheart?" He prompted as he popped open the tin of polish and swiped the rag through it. Setting the tin down and picking up one of his boots.

"Mmmm, not all that tired yet." Finally Ron looked up at her, barely turning in her direction, with a hint of a smirk on his face, "Sayin' I didn't wear you out enough?"

Laney giggled and felt her cheeks flush. "Oh that's not what I'm sayin' at all." She bit her lip when Ron gave her a smile and a wink. "You just shine your boots and let me enjoy the view." He snorted out another chuckle and went to work polishing his boots while Laney burrowed in deeper and did just that.

She didn't think she'd ever get tired of seeing him like this. Half naked, skin still glowing with a sheen of sweat in the lamplight, scars and hard earned muscle on display certainly, but also relaxed, smiling, teasing. She also found she enjoyed when she got to watch him in his element, even when it was something as simple as getting himself squared away for the ceremony tomorrow.

"Ron?" Laney broke the silence a bit later.

"Hmm?" Was his only response. "You have any books to read?"

"Tired of the view already?" He poked at her as he worked a brush back and forth over the leather of a boot.

"No just askin' is all." She caught the look he gave her, a sideeyed smirk, and she bit her lip.

He had mentioned before how he liked that her southern accent got a little thicker when she was tired. Proof he had worn her out after all. Attention back on his boot Ron answered her, "Had a couple one of the boys loaned me, gave 'em to Lip the other day though."

Laney groaned a little disappointed.

"Just down the hall."

"I'm not gonna just knock on his door in the middle of the night." Laney scoffed.

"He's not there." Ron examined the boot carefully before going back to it, "Filling in at the checkpoint tonight." Laney stayed silent for awhile, weighing her options. "Just put some clothes on and go get one." Before she could respond Ron tossed his other boot at her, it bounced on the bed right in front of her and he grinned, "Either that or lend a hand."

She didn't see Ron stop what he was doing to watch her. Didn't see the way his eyes tracked her the second she was out from under the covers, as she walked to pick up the shirt draped over the back of a chair and then buttoned it as she padded to the door on bare feet. It wasn't until she was at the door that she stopped and caught him looking.

He gave her an easy smile for being caught out. "To the right, door across the hall."

She felt silly as she snuck the short way down the hall in nothing but a collared shirt. At the door she stopped and listened for a long moment. When she didn't hear anything she knocked softly and waited again. When there was still silence she twisted the doorknob and poked her head inside.

The room was dark so she had to flip the light on and a part of her still expected to accidentally wake up Lieutenant Lipton. That was not the case however and all she found was empty room and after some searching a small stack of books on a table by the bed. Carefully she picked one up and turned to head back out the door.

Only to be stopped dead in her tracks by the solider himself standing in the door. "Ma'am." For Liptons part he looked more embarrased the Laney did. His eyes darting everywhere but her.

"Lieutenant," Laney gave a smile and shuffled her feet, "Sorry to snoop, but..." She held up the book, "Tryin' to find somethin' to read."

Lip nodded meeting her eye finally, "Not a problem." He unslung his rifle and gestured to the stack of books, "To be honest with you though, the other one is better."

Laney chuckled at the awkwardness of it all and nodded, taking his advice she switched out the books and moved to sneak back out of the room. "Night Lip."

Behind her Lip smiled, "Night Elaine."

She lingered in the hall until she heard his door shut, and then she scurried across the hall and snuck back in to Ron's quarters. She barely had the door closed before she was laying into Speirs. "Why didn't you tell me he would be on his way back?"

Ron looked up, confused at first, and then chuckled. "Laney..."

"I'm glad you think it's funny!" She continued as she stalked across the rooms towards him, "I had to hide in the hall until I knew for sure he had his door closed. So, he didn't see what room I went back to!"

Still grinning Ron set his boot down on the floor and tossed the rag on the table. "Come here." He waved her over and she came, even though she was scowling. Once she was close enough he took her by the hips and pulled her down to straddle his lap. Ron held her there and gave her a kiss, "Baby," he gave her another kiss and then caught her eye, "Shirt you're wearin' still has my bars on the collar." He reached up to tug at the collar of his shirt for emphasis, unable to hold back his shit eating grin.

Laney turned bright red again. "Oh my God, wipe that stupid smirk off your face!" She smacked him in the chest, "I could literally kill you right now." She twisted her neck, first to look down at the bars in question and then to the shoulder to see for herself, the screaming eagle patch, the combination as good as a dead giveaway.

Ron just grinned and and pulled her to him for another kiss. "Looks good on you."

"I'm serious." She mumbled against his lips.

"So am I." He continued to kiss her, his hand at the collar slid up the side of her neck and carressed her there.

She relaxed a little, let herself sink further into him. When she pulled back her eyes were softer, but she still grumbled, "I'm mad at you."

Ron chuckled and dropped both hands back to her hips , "I know." He tugged her hips tighter against his own and kissed her slowly, "Someone must have relieved him early." With another soft, slow kiss he looked her in the eye, still with a smirk on his face and promised her, "Lipton won't say anything sweetheart."

Laney smacked him half-heartedly on the chest with the book. "Would you care if he did?"

Licking his lips he held her gaze, "Would you?"

He kissed her again, neither of them needing to answer the question outloud, before she laid down on the couch beside him, tucked her feet into his lap and picked up the book. Ron stroked a hand up her long, bare leg and watched her for a moment. Taking his turn to the enjoy the view, more than appreciating the sight of her in nothing but his shirt, captains bars and all.

"Boots aren't gonna polish themselves trooper." Laney admonished from behind her book, a smirk evident in her voice.

Speirs grinned and gave her calf a squueze before reaching for his boot and polish again.

That next morning when Laney woke up she was warm and comfortable in bed, light shining through the windows and Ron sitting next to her on the edge of the bed. He had his hand on her back to coax her awake. "Time to get up sweetheart" His voice was hoarse, like he hadn't got enough sleep.

Laney groaned and squinted against the sun. "What time is it?"

Ron repeated, "Time to get up." then gave her another shake.

She grumbled again, and wondered how late he had stayed up the night before. She didn't remember, but she must have fallen asleep on the couch. Which would mean Ron must have carried her to bed. That thought made her smile and she rolled over, stretching out her tired muscles and looking up at Ron.

He was freshly shaved and his hair was combed. His eyes still tired but his face looked soft, at ease. "You look good." Her half awake brain betrayed her and she let the words slip out aloud.

Ron smiled, breathed out a quiet chuckle, and leaned down to give her a quick kiss. "Sweet. You still gotta get up."

Laney chuckled a little at herself as she sat up with a groan. Her new position put them face to face and she smiled. "I'm up."

"Mhmm." His eyes looked her over before he kissed her again. With the last pass of his lips he reached up to the collar of his shirt she still wore and unpinned his insignia. "Need these." He stood up from the bed then and turned to go to the mirror.

"Here," Laney stopped him as she crawled out from under the covers. She took the pins from him and straightened his collar before she snapped them into place. FIrst his infantry insignia and then his captains bars. As she adjusted the bars Rons hands settled low on her hips, and then he slid them down to cup her ass with a smirk. Laney returned his smirk and looped her arms around his neck.

They stayed that way for a moment until Laney broke the silence. "Why'd you let me sleep so late?"

Ron pulled her closer, his eyes darted all over her face until he settled them on hers. "I like keepin' you here long as I can." When that made her smile he gave her one more kiss. "Get dressed. I'll call you a jeep up."

~~~

Laney sat at the end of the couch reading a book she'd got second or third hand from one of the girls. One hand kept the book balanced on the armrest while the other rested on Rons chest. Her palm tucked inside his partially unbuttoned shirt with her fingers stroking idly back and forth as she read.

Ron laid stretched out over the length of the sofa, his head in her lap and his eyes closed. He'd dozed off with a cigarette still smoking in the ashtray.

It wasn't even midnight yet when pounding on the door startled them both. "Captain!" Bang! Bang! Bang! "Captain Speirs Sir!"

Laney's heart thudded in her ears as Ron shot up from her lap, "Jesus Christ," He laid a hand on her thigh as he stood up, "Stay."

Ron got off the couch and strode to the front door. "What?"

"It's Grant Sir, he's been shot. It's real bad Sir."

"Fuck. Give me a minute."

"Sir!" "

What?"

"I think it was one of our own guys." Speirs swung the door closed and went to grab his jacket and cap.

"Ron, what's going on?" Laney had walked out to the entryway behind him and was watching Ron with wide eyes.

He grabbed his gun belt off the chair, "Someone's been shot. Stay here."

"Jesus...I'll come with you." Laney moved to grab her jacket but the tone of his voice stopped her cold.

"No."

"Ron, I can help. I should go."

"No!" Ron stopped her as he strapped on his gun belt, "I said stay here."

Laney shrunk slightly, but did not argue. This was Captain Speirs, not Ron, giving her an order "Okay."

Once Ron made it down to the jeep and saw Grant however, he changed his mind. He grabbed the private that had driven the jeep up, "Go get Laney. Now!"

"Laney, sir?"

With one hand holding the plasma bottle for Doc Roe he grabbed the private by the collar with the other, "Liutenant Walker. She's upstairs, in my quarters. Go get her, now!"

As soon as the private returned with Elaine in tow her mouth dropped open at the sight of the man now laid on a stretcher on the hood of a jeep, "What the hell happened?" Without waiting for an answer she jumped in to help Eugene.

"He been shot." The cajun deadpanned as he tried to start an IV.

"God...." Laney stared at the mangled side of the boys head for a moment before she grabbed for Roe's bag and dug for a bandage, She turned to Ron, "The surgeon, they're set up at the school in town."

WIth a short nod Ron hoisted her up onto the hood of the jeep and turned to the privates, "Find Talbert, tell him where we're going."

In town the men had carried Grant inside while Laney ran to find the surgeon. She had found him asleep at his desk with an empty bottle of schnapps still in his lap. Throwing rules and regulations out the window she all but drug him to the gymnasium.

Where she stood there and watched Ron hold his young Sargents hand. "Jesus,"

"What?" Ron looked up at the surgeon.

"He's not gonna make it." The surgeon mumbled around a cigarette.

Roe questioned, "You can't operate on him?"

"Not me, you'd need a brain surgeon." The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose already walking away, "Even then I don't think he stands a chance."

Laney stood beside Doc Roe and watched their faces fall, watched Ron clench and unclench his jaw. As the surgeon walked away she breathed deep and caught Rons eye, "Ron."

He looked up, eyes hard and jaw set, even as he still stroked a thumb back and forth over Grants unmoving hand.

"There's a hospital, a German hospital, in the next town. A real hospital."

~~~

Unsure what else to do, Laney had gone back to Rons room and waited. She sat in the dark, in a chair in the corner of the room, and stared out the window until she heard the door knob turn.

Rons eye's were cold and distant when he walked through the door. His frame rigid and his stride very much that of the stoic commander and not his somestimes causual swagger. His eyes jumped to her briefly but did not stay. He first shut the door behind him and turned the lock and then unbuckled his gunbelt to hang it on the hook.

Speirs did not speak as he walked over to the table beside her and grabbed a cigarette from the pack he had left there.

It was when he raised the lighter to the end of the cigarette that she noticed the red on his hand. "Ron, there's blood on your hand."

She reached out to grab his wrist but he carefully tugged it away from her. "Let me see."

"It's not mine." His voice was low and as cold as the look in his eyes.

"Grant?" She probed, looking down at her own hands briefly. She did not think the blood was his either.

Ron inhaled a deep drag off the cigarette and finally spared her a look, "Kraut doctor says he'll make it."

Her gaze slid back to the blood on his hand, "Did they find the guy?"

He did not answer right away. Instead he walked to the wash basin and scrubbed the blood from his hands, cigarette hanging from his lips the whole time. Ron didn't even bother drying his hands before he shrugged out of this jacket, tossed his cover on a table and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt. Finally, as he sat on the bed to unlace his boots, he paused and leaned his elbows on his knees. "Yeah." After a moment he resumed unlacing his boots, "We found him."

Laney watched, mesmerized as Rons hands flew through the laces. The steady, back and forth motion of him unlacing first one boot and then the other gave her something to focus on. Rather than think about the blood on his hands. Once his boots were off and tossed towards they're normal spot Ron leaned his elbows on his knees again and hung his head. "MPs have him."

She did not expect the wave of relief that poured over her. Laney stood up then and moved to stand in front of Ron. She carefully, with a featherlight touch, stroked a hand over his dissheveled hair. She couldn't describe how grateful she was that Ron had not done something to the man. As much as he certainly deserved it. There was no doubt in her mind that Ron would murder the man for what he had done to Grant. The problem was they weren't on the front now, something like that couldn't just be written off as a tall tale anymore.

Ron hummed slightly at her touch and so she thredded her fingers through his hair and combed it back from his face. After the third or fourth pass he sat up straight and with one last, long drag he pulled the cigarette out of his lips. He tipped his head back to look up at her and with the hand not holding the cigarette he pulled Laney closer.

Unsure what else to do she combed her fingers through Ron's hair one more time and spoke softly. "Should try to get some rest."

His eyes closed briefly as her fingers passed through his hair and then he opened them again and nodded. He said nothing as he stood up. He moved to step away from the bed and Laney but he stopped, his hand still on her hip, and leaned down to press a kiss to her temple.

Later, in the early morning hours, once Laney had finally fallen asleep, Ron laid in bed and smoked the rest of his pack of cigarettes. The whole time he had stared at the far wall, seeing nothing, and stroking his free hand over Laney's bare shoulder.

~~~

"How come you've never asked?" Ron interrupted the silence one evening, letting smoke roll out through his nose as they lay in bed together.

"Asked what?" She had to tilt her head up to look at him from where she lay on his chest. Her thumb absentmindedly stroking a scar low on his hip from a machine gun round he'd caught while still a platoon leader with Dog Company. His second purple heart.

He looked down at Laney, eyes soft behind the hair hanging down over his brow. "If the stories are true."

Laney put her head back where it had been, her ear resting over his steady beating heart. "Well," She started out, "The way I see it, you shooting one of your guys is...unlikely, the Germans though. I figure that's probably true, whatever number it actually was."

His hand strocked up and down her back once before he settled it low on her hip where it had started. "That's it?"

She pushed herself up on one elbow so she could look him in the eye. "Am I wrong?"

Ron took another drag on his cigarette and turned his head to the side to exhale the smoke away from her. When he met her eyes again he reached up and swept a strand of hair out of her face. "What would you think of me if it was true?"

Laney plucked the cigarette from his lips and leaned across him to put it out in the bowl he'd been using as an ashtray. Though his hand smoothed over her bare back as she did so he looked less than pleased when she settled back next to him which just made her grin. "Little late to ask that now, don't ya think?" She leaned down to kiss him but pulled back before they could get carried away again.

They'd been in Austria long enough now Speirs was getting used to having a warm bed to sleep in everynight and a beautiful woman to share it with. There'd been plenty of times during their time on the line and then travelling through Germany when he'd wondered why she never seemed uncomfortable around him when so many others did.

These last few weeks when they'd been spending more time together, getting closer, sleeping together, the thought had been nagging at him more. "Kept expecting you to bring it up." He sat up a little further against the headboard, reached up to push some hair behind her ear and pulled her down to kiss him again, a little longer this time.

With a deep breath Laney licked her top lip and made certain he was looking her in the eye. "Ron," She paused to kiss him again, "You smoke like a chimney, you're a kleptomaniac,"

Ron snorted, "Kleptomaniac."

"You enjoy terrifying people, a little too much if we're being honest, you have no sense of self-preservation," She paused and tipped his chin back towards her as he had tipped it up and away to stare at the ceiling. Once he was looking at her again she added one final thing, "and you have this tiny little scar on your face right here." She poked at it, teasing, "But that's kinda growing on me."

His eyes were hard when he arched his brow at her, waiting for her to make her point, but the hand on the small of her back was still gentle as he stroked it up and down the base of her spine.

"These are all things about you that bother me."

Ron rolled his eyes again and shook his head.

"The fact that you are a soldier that has to do things, that has to follow and give orders, that I... and people like me could never imagine living with... that will never bother me. Doing what you had to do to survive this thing and to be a good solider, that will never bother me."

He didn't say anything at first. Just held her gaze intently. When he did speak it was under his breath, "Kleptomaniac." Followed by a snort of derision which just made Laney giggle as she settled back against his chest.

"That's the one that got you?" She toyed with his dog tags as she chuckled to herself.

With one arm wrapped around her waist to hold her firm he responded, "If it bothers you why don't you give it all back?" He pinched her side, taking the opportunity to tease her back. Ron knew good and well she had a stash in her foot locker of the trinkets he'd been acquiring for her. Including the silver comb wrapped safely in a silk scarf.

Raising up again to look him in the eye she feigned outrage, "Now Sparky, there's no need to be drastic."

"Oh," Ron nodded dramatically at the drop of the nickname, "I see how it is." He cracked a smirk and flipped her over onto her back and kissed her while she laughed. "Well, for the record..." He waited for her to focus up, "You snore."

Her eyes flew wide, "I do not!" She shoved at his chest and shoulders, his laughter only stoking her irritation.

His muscle and bodyweight was no match for hers and so he continued to keep her pinned down, one hand keeping her hands at bay. "You do too, sweetheart. Mouth open and everything."

Laney struggled to get a hand free or any sort of leverage to push him off of her, even as Ron began kissing from her collar bone, up her neck to her ear. She had calmed down quite a bit by the time he sucked her earlobe into his mouth. When he heard her let out a soft sigh he kissed behind her ear and whisperd, "But that's ok, it's kind of growing on me."

She was giggling again and as soon as he released her hands they were on his back and pulling him closer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This time when she woke up the sun was peaking through the windows and Ron was still in bed with her. He'd fallen asleep with his arms around her and had kept her pulled close the rest of the night.

Laney could barely remember ever sleeping so good as she had the last month or so. Whether she came up to the house he and a few other officers had commendeared or Ron snuck off to the hotel in town where her and the other doctors and nurses were staying. Nobody that knew batted an eye anymore. It all felt a little surreal if she thought about it too much. Where they were, how they'd come to be here and what had brought them together. Something else she tried not to think about was what would happen when the 101st got shipped off to the Pacific and Ron would leave. Part of her sometimes feared that would be the end of this.

"I can hear you thinking." Rons voice was rough and gravelly. It often was when he first woke up. Too many cigarettes.

Laney scoffed and closed her eyes, pushing back into him and snuggling as close as she could before he'd have to get up for the day.

Behind her Ron coughed and then twisted her around until she was draped over his chest, her leg hooked over his waist and his hand stroking her thigh. "What's on your mind?"

For a long moment Laney didn't answer him. Ron just held her close and continued to play with her hair.

After she took a deep breath Laney shuffled up a little higher so her face was burrowed against his neck. The stubble on his jaw scratching pleasently against her temple. "You're going to stay in the Army aren't you?"

Ron took a deep breath of his own and when he answered his voice was stil rough, his lips brushing against the hair at the crown of her head. "Yeah." He nodded and then dropped a kiss there. When she didn't repond further, Speirs added. "That's what you're thinkin' about."

It wasn't a question and so she didn't say anything.

"Sweetheart, look at me a second." Ron kissed the top of her head again before tipping her chin up to look at him. "It's where I belong."

Laney was annoyed that her eyes were burning and she had to fight back the tears, "I know." She closed her eyes, trying not to embarass herself.

"Will you wait that long?" HIs voice was almost a whisper and Ron didn't even try to make her look at him.

Her eyes snapped open though as she twisted her head to look at him, confused.

"Until I get back from Japan?" His expression was unreadable and he continued on in her stupified silence. "I'd prefer to buy you a ring, do the church, class As, white gown and all that." His lips twitched but he fought it and kept going, "If you don't wanna wait I understand. We can always find a chaplain. I'm sure I can find a ring that'll fit but I figure you'll give me hell if I steal our wedding rings."

"What the hell are you talking about?" It came out much more aggressive than she meant but Laney was sitting up now wideeyed and staring at Speirs like he was delusional.

Licking his lips all he could do was smile, pry his eyes away from her exposed breasts as he sat up and leaned back against the headboad. The sheets pooled in his lap. His smile grew a touch wider when he watched her eyes dart from his face to the spot where his dogtags hung against his chest, then lower and then back. Once she was looking at him he clarifed, "Would you rather get married now, before Easy ships out to the Pacific or do you want to wait until I'm back? Do everything the right way?"

Laney could not stop staring at him blankly. This was not how she imagined this conversation going. "Don't you think you should be asking a different question first, Captain?"

Ron knew the title was a dig, payback for the trouble he was putting her through.

"Oh no, I already know the answer to that question sweetheart."

He looked so smug she wanted to smack him across the face. But as she sat there in bed glaring at him his words sank in, really sank in. Once she started to smile she couldn't stop it. Even as she shoved her finger in his face, "Ronald Speirs, if you steal me a wedding ring I will kill you. Do you understand me?"

Breaking out in laughter Ron reached for her and pulled her so that she straddled his lap. "Understood." He pulled her in for a kiss. Keeping her there until his hands on her hips coulld pull her tight and close. His chuckle was almost a growl when she rocked her hips against him once only for her to slip away and shake her head at him.

"No sir," She crawled off his lap, batted his hands away as she tugged the covers up around her, "You're still in the army so no funny business, you have to get up and report to PT." She pushed and shoved him out of the bed with laughter and a smile on her face ear to ear.

Accepting his fate Ron stopped at the edge of the bed and leaned over her. "Laney,"

Her smile softened as she looked up at him, eyes darting to the side as he twined his fingers through hers.

"I love you and I am going to marry you."

~~~The End~~~

[linkspooky]

My Hero Academia, Chapter 370 Thoughts. 

 Admittedly, I was very confused by Shoji’s response to the PLF members legitimate complaints about the discriminations that heteromorphs have suffered with a question that is off topic and tone deaf at the best, and deliberately undermining the legitimate suffering that heteromorphs have endured at the worst. 

But let’s give Shoji the benefit of the doubt as we discuss his argument and point of view underneath the cut. 

However, Shoji’s response reminded me of one of my favorite posts observations made by another tumblr user. @yugiohz on this panel featuring Shigaraki and Deku from the war arc. 

“I love this paneling because it shows the contrast of the character’s world view, deku thinks this conflict only happens on a personal level when shigarki is aware that it’s a systemic one.” 

Shoji’s arguments seem arguably tone deaf and oblivious to both the bigger picture that the PLF commander is getting at. The existence of entities like the creature rejection clan, and the atrocities committed against heteromorphs which is apparently, still so prevelant an issue that fifteen thousand people showed up to the riots. So this issue is not only still relevant, but wide affecting. 

So to respond to all of those legitimate questions with the question of why didn’t thiey think of evacuating the hospital first like the heroes did, and the implication that if they didn’t, they are just as bad as the people they are protesting against is just a little bit ignorant. Or maybe a lot of bit. 

In all fairness, of course even in a war it’s considered a crime a target full of innocent people uninvolved with the conflict as a part of your battle strategy. From Shoji’s perspective, these people are attacking a hospital full of sick people unable to defend themselves which are unrelated to their grievances against society at large. Even in war times it’s considered taboo to attack people who didn’t sign up for the conflict and are also unable to defend themselves, civilians, sick people, the wounded, children.

t’s fair to point out that it’s wrong to target people who aren’t combatants who signed up for the fight, but at the same time if you point that out it’s also fair to point out it’s the heroes who decided to shelter Kurogiri in the first place. The mob isn’t attacking the hospital of a whim, they’re trying to seize an objective to win a battle against the society they think wronged them, and the heroes are the one who decided in the first place  to hide Kurogiri in a hospital full of innocent civliians. It’s the heroes who knew that this hospital would be attacked hence why they posted guards there, but apparently didn’t evaucate the hospital. So, if we’re splitting hairs here, the split hairs still don’t come out in favor of the heroes. 

However, as tone deaf as Shoji’s question comes across, it also resembles a lot of responses his fellow hero students have had whenever they’re face to face with the villains trying to explain how they’ve suffered against hero society. 

When Toga tries to explain herself to Uraraka she’s immediately shut down with this argument. That if she chooses to live as she pleases and threatens with people, then there’s also consequences to that. 

As referenced above, when Deku says that he won’t ever forgive Shigaraki, Shigaraki replies with I won’t forgive any of you people. When Dabi tells Shoto about how he tried to come home, but in the end was shown that his family just moved on without him and that he had no replace to return to Shoto responded with this. 

It’s three flavors of the same response. It frames Toya, Toga, Shigaraki, and Spinner + the Mob’s Choices as a whole like they woke up and one day decided to be a villain. 

LIke, do Toga and the rest have agency and responsibility to their actions? Yes. THey chose to become violent. They chose to fight. They are still people making choices no matter how driven by their own trauma and they are responsible for those choices. However, there’s a difference between an influenced choice, and a choice made entirely of their own free will. 

Here, let me demonstrate. Absoluetly nothing forced Enji to abuse his own family. Enji decided on his own to place his career as a hero above everything else, he decided to arrange a marriage with Rei for the entire purpose of giving birth to a child with a hybrid ice and fire quirk and also ignore his children who didn’t suit that need.

However, Toya had no agency in this choice. He was born into these circumstances. Through no choice of his own, he was born to a father who ignored him the moment his quirk started failing, and a mother who blamed him for the discord of his household for not simply giving up on his quirk training and his attempts to earn his fathers love because she was too afraid to conront her husband. Toya was a helpless child when this happened to him, he’s a fully grown adult now, but when the inciting incident of his trauma happened to him he was as those innocent as those imaginary innocent people that heroes keep parading about as a reason tto not sympathize with the villains. 

Rei had no choice but to marry Enji because her parents pressured her into it, she became a victim of his abuse, but you know who was even more of a victim? The twelve year old helpless child who was born into these circumstances, who was also completely defenseless at the time. Who’s father ignored him, and mother wasn’t strong enough to protect him, whatever Rei suffered, Toya suffered more and at a much younger age. 

Basically every argument the villains make is dismissed with “cool motive, still murder”, which is a completely ignorant argument to make when these villains only started choosing violence as an absolute last resort in the first place. Toga did her absolute best to fit despite her parent’s abuse. Toya tried over and over again to please his father, only to be told to shut up by his family. Tenko wanted to be a hero originally, and was beaten by his father, for having the same dream as Deku. Tenko spent days wandering the streets waiting for just one hero to help him after he lost his family. Spinner locked himself up in his room and just wanted to believe he could become someone important like Stain and make a positive change in the world rather than wasting his life. 

These arguments are in bad faith, because they’re taking a false equivalence. The villains arguments about how hero society is wrong, because they too, are hurting people in their attempts to change hero society. The thing is twice already completely dismantled the argument that the heroes use to shut down the villains. 

The heroes only care about saving the kind of completely innocent victim who cowers in the face of danger and waits to be saved, if they think of fighting back against their circumstances, or *gasp* lash out in pain like some kind of imperfect victim then the heroes give up on trying to save them. It’s important that Jin brings up Toga’s kindness to him, because Toga is one of the people that Hawks wrote off as someone who can’t be saved, while at the same time trying to save Twice because he considered him “A good person.” 

The thing is the moment you start dividing people into categories of who is worthy of being saved, and who isn’t, people are already going to be lost. If the function of heroes are to save people, and they’re not saving a goood chunk of people then they’re not doing their job. Rather than addressing this fact and striving to say more, they just create arguments that are these false equivolencies. Well, this person chose to become violent, so obviously they’re just as bad as their abusers. Well, Dabi chose to kill people in his attempt to discredit Endeavor and expose him as an abuser, so obviously he’s just as bad or even worse. 

There’s a difference betweeen saying “I understand your argument but I believe there are better more peaceful ways of solving this issue” and just shutting down the argument, which is what the hero kids are doing over and over again. And this is a common theme in MHA. THat the light of heroes, and the flawless image of heroes is being used over and over again to hide the corruption in society. Nagant brings it up, Shigaraki brings it up, that over and over again the public only sees the good side of heroes while the corruption of society is ignored. 

Yes, it’s bad to hurt innocent people even if you’re trying to use your violence for a good cause to make a better world. People who have nothing to do with it don’t deserve to get dragged into a conflict. However, there’s also this continued pattern of heroes just dismissing the legitimate criticisms of villains outright, because of the faceless imaginary people that are also being caught up in their rebellion against society. 

This is why Hawks killed Twice. Hawks had to kill Twice, because of the imaginary body count of innocent people who might have been hurt with his quirk. The heroes continually have to put down the heroes in favor of there imaginary innocent people that they might be hurting, Uraraka even says that she has to look at the destruction wrought by the league of villains to stop herself from sympathizing with Toga. 

But once again, this innocent / guilty dichotomy is a made up false dichotomy. When exactly does a person stop being innocent? What actions do they have to perform where they are no longer worthy of sympathy? Quantify it. What is the point of no return? At what exact moment do they stop being a victim and become a villain instead?

Think of the people who joined Spinner’s mob in support of Heteromorph discrimmination? They were innocent victims of what is a thinly veiled allegory for racism. They did absolutely nothing to earn the ire of the people around them. Are they now guilty because they decided to fight back against it? Is their action to riot against the issue, to try to draw attention to their suffering what makes them now guilty? Is the only way to remain innocent to just shut up and endure it, and never fight back no matter what happens to you? 

To return to the argument made at the start, it really does seem like that kids are equating what is a personal conflict with what is happening on a societal wide scale. The perspective of the hero kids is almost like, even in the middle of what is called the first and second war arc, where they are fighting a battle over the way society should be run, that somehow this is just standard hero vs. villain in the conflict. That the good guys are infallible and the bad guys are always violent and they are because they decide to be. However, the villains are fighting back against a society that has wronged them. It’s a difference in perspective that damns any attempts for heroes and villains to understand each other. 

The kids aren’t facing the injustice of society, the kids aren’t fighting for survival, for them this is another hero vs. villain battle. They defeat the bad guys, and the good guys win. 

It’s a conflict fought between two sides who are occupying completely differnt positions of power and privileges'. It’s a personal conflict for the kids, they are fighting against villains who have personally hurt them and all of their friends, SHigaraki is someone who maimed Grant Torino in front of Deku, and led attacks on his friends several times. However, at the same time Shigaraki was wronged by hero society several times, an argument that Deku pretty conveniently ignores because he’s never lived that experience or been subjected to it. He’s allowed to keep it a personal conflict, because he’s not subject to societal rejection the way Shigaraki is. 

Even if the kids think that human life is so sacred that no matter what you can’t take a life, even if you have a legitimate cause like fighting for a better society, the kids refuse to apply their rules fairly. Shoji yells at the crowd for attacking a hospital full of innocents, but what about the death of Twice? If villains are bad and beyond redemption because they have killed, then why is Hawks still allowed to be a hero? If the villains have to think about the people they hurt as a part of their conflict, then why hasn’t a single hero kid even mentioned twice?

This is what I mean by injustice. It’s okay to be disgusted by murder, human life is sacred and should always be protected, murder is a serious crime, but these rules aren’t being applied fairly. Hawks can commit the same murder and compeltely get away with it, because he’s considered one of the good guys. 

The kids aren’t so digusted by any murder that they can’t tolerate any injustice, they’re just repeated the same values that they’ve always been taught, heroes good and villains bad. They are drawing the same line on who is worthy of saving  and who is not worthy.

Which is why this chapter is so sad, it illsutrates that Shoji and Spinner have suffered the same way as being prejdugiced against by hero society, and forced to hide because they are heteromorphs. So, why are they fighting in the first place? If they are both vicrtimized why does one of them have to be the good cictim and the bad victim? If they are both suffering similarily can’t they come to some understanding and work together, rather than fighting against each other? Isn’t it tremednously sad that Shoji had to fight against several heteromorphs who have suffered the same as he as, and defend the society that has outcast him and fored him to wear a mask his entire. Shouldn’t there be a better way then just Shoji putting down the rebellion of fellow heteormoprhs and then society continuing on the same way as it always has? Couldn’t they work together? 

I don’t really have an ending to this post, so I’m going to close out with a quote from Frankenstein which I believe is relevant to this topic at large. 

“You, who call Frankenstein your friend, seem to have a knowledge of my crimes and his misfortunes. But in the detail which he gave you of them he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured wasting in impotent passions. For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires. They were for ever ardent and craving; still I desired love and fellowship, and I was still spurned. Was there no injustice in this? Am I to be thought the only criminal, when all humankind sinned against me? Why do you not hate Felix, who drove his friend from his door with contumely? Why do you not execrate the rustic who sought to destroy the saviour of his child? Nay, these are virtuous and immaculate beings! I, the miserable and the abandoned, am an abortion, to be spurned at, and kicked, and trampled on. Even now my blood boils at the recollection of this injustice.” 

[sandcobangevent]

💥 SHERLOCK & CO FLASHBANG EVENT!!!1!1 I had such a blast being a part of this and working with my epic teammate @whrys (who’s fic you should totally read btw as it goes with this) (john can never catch a break bless)

by @fleurdelait and @whrys

John Watson thinks himself a very good man. He always takes care of people when he can, but if the cause of that is because he genuinely is a good person, or because he was a doctor in war, he would rather not speculate on. He likes to make himself useful in every situation and dislikes having nothing to do, especially when his best friend and coworker, the reputable Sherlock Holmes, is completely ignoring all the cases they could take on. But even though he spends a lot of his time with Sherlock, on account of them living together, he can get tired of him. So, John is now not in the flat, or with Sherlock on a case. He is on a bus, heading to a football stadium.  

He had finally had some time to himself, because there were no new cases and Mariana, his and Sherlocks secretary, even though she did so much more than that, was done with all their paperwork. It seemed the stars had aligned for John this day, because there was also a football game with his favorite team nearby, or at least in a reasonable bus length. He had bought the tickets a week earlier, but usually when he planned ahead, there would be an unforeseen case that sherlock wanted to take, and John had to cancel whatever plans he had. But just this once he took a chance, because the game was with his favorite team, and it was in his city. He could always get a refund. But no, when he woke up, Sherlock did not bust down his door with a new case, and Mariana had not left a note with something that needed to be done. He was free all morning and thus decided to get out of the house before something did happen.  

And now he was on the bus. Sitting by the window and looking at everything going past. He had not forgotten his team scarf, which he made sure to put in his bag before going to bed last night. When he wasn’t looking out the windows, he was fiddling with his pheon. Scrolling various social media, looking at what’s happening in his discord channel. “Jonk” was apparently making it big again. While going through his latest episodes comments, he saw a message pop up from Sherlock. Damn it. And he was almost at the arena too. He expected the usual spam of messages when he took more than a minute to respond. “Watson” “This is important” It usually wasn’t. “Mariana wants me to tell you-” “Watson” “John” “Hello”. Lately Sherlock has been calling John more by his first name. He thought this was because Sherlock was trying to be more familiar with him, to make him focus or listen to what he was saying. But he didn’t mind. He kind of liked it. But there were no more messages. Just the one. Maybe that means it wasn’t that important? Actually not important, this time. John chose to ignore it. But it was weird. Not Sherlocks normal behavior, if he had any. It was bothering John, and he looked out the window once again as the bus drove over a bridge. And as the ride continued, so did the uneasy feeling in his chest. The bus stopped and John eyes rested on a sign that said ‘Stanford's’. He remembered his friend that introduced them and the entire day that they met on. As the bus started moving again, so did his thoughts. With a sigh, finally, he gave in. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself. He picked up the phone and read the text. He knew if he read this, and it was something trivial that Sherlock tricked him back to the apartment with that made him miss yet another game, he would absolutely regret it. He had come back to the apartment every time Sherlock called, and if he did so now as well, Sherlock would not learn that he wouldn’t come every time he was called. But alas, he will. It’s Sherlock after all.  

But instead of seeing a text about a very important case or just a beckon for him to come home with no explanation, he saw “John, this is Mariana, are you with Sherlock? He’s not home, but all his stuff is here. Even his headphones” 

John froze. It wasn’t from Marianas number; it was definitely Sherlocks. Probably because he left his phone at home. Honestly, this shouldn’t be that worrying, Sherlock can sometimes disappear for a day, he could have found a very interesting animal or just calming down from interacting with people for a while. But not bringing headphones is out of character.  John: Mariana, why are you messaging from Sherlocks phone? Sherlock: I knew you’d answer if it was him. If I sent it from mine, you would ignore it because you thought it was about paperwork or having to talk with clients. John: That’s fair.  John: Have you seen anything Sherlock may have left behind? Sherlock: Not immediately, but he wasn’t kidnapped if that’s what you’re thinking. His shoes are gone. Kidnappers don’t put on their victims’ shoes.  John: Yeah, that makes sense. But I’ll come home right now anyway.  

He had chosen what he cared about. Sherlock.  

After getting home, and trying to get the right bus back, John bursts through the door, looking around for Mariana or Sherlock. “Mariana? Are you here?” “In here John! Sherlock is here too.” John follows her voice to the kitchen, where she and Sherlock are sitting at the table. She seems to be patching him up as he has wounds all over.  “Oh my god Sherlock, who did this to you?”  “It’s fine Watson, Ms. Hudson is a qualified enough doctor to prescribe a few band-aids.” The sarcasm was practically dripping from Sherlocks voice. And he was still using the wrong name for Mariana.  “Yes John, he’s going to be fine. I just need to get him to sit still long enough to put on this elastic bandage- Sherlock stop picking at it.” “You’re putting it on wrong, the compression doesn’t work that way.” “Here, Mariana, I’ll do it.” John very kindly shushed Mariana out of her chair and took Sherlocks arm in his hands. She took the hint and went to get something from her room.  John undid the bandage and started over. Not because he wanted to hold Sherlocks hand more, but because it was easier that way. Obviously.  “Where would I be without my doctor.” Sherlock broke the silence. John looked up to look at his detective.  “You would be wherever you were that made you get like this. Oh, speaking of, where were you that could make you get like this?” “Way to ruin the moment, Watson. I was simply out walking, and someone attacked me. Judging by the amount of preparation they had for me, I presume they already knew who I am, and hold some sort of grudge. I might’ve caught one of their friends in a case, or they just don’t like me, which I have been told is not unusual.” “I like you.” John realized after uttering it what exactly he had said. He chose to continue with his thoughts. “You mean a lot to me. You have no idea how worried I was when Mariana said you had gone.” “John.” Sherlock’s tone caught John’s attention, and he looked up. The eye contact felt like it lasted for an eternity. He finished wrapping Sherlocks arm with the bandage and took his hand.  “You should know I skipped yet another football game for this.” “I know. You still have the scarf on you.” As he mentioned the team scarf that was still around John’s neck, he grabbed it and pulled it closer, making their foreheads touch.  John didn’t need to be a good person to know that Sherlock would always be here, at 221B Baker Street.  John was happy. 

[reginrokkr]

𝐂𝐋𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈. Today I woke up earlier than usual and chose violence upon seeing yet another couple of details missed in translation that make me salty, specially because they're related with Travail and, once again, with the subtlety play Dain is known for in many miscellanies.

So apparently, the first detail that I read up is that the use of thrones or divine thrones of Celestia doesn't necessarily allude to a throne of power, given that gods in Teyvat are pretty much rulers. But instead, it's more so related with the concept of "throne of destiny" given that the Chinese term used for both thrones and constellations are one and the same. This could give some room for speculation and wonder if, when there is mention in Before Sun and Moon that the second throne came and warred against the Primordial One and 3/4 shades, a new vision of the future was also brought. Which, for better or for worse, could fall in place with Phanes' concerns about the rise of delusions and more that comes with Forbidden Knowledge. But knowing what's happening and the premise that at least to some extent he's responsible for the mess we're witnessing by the hands of the gods: even though the Second Who Came brought Forbidden Knowledge, in terms of raw knowledge is it actually negative or positive? And my reasoning to wonder this is that the Abyss is known for delivering knowledge and it's also known that the Abyss acts like some kind of gateway to influences outside Teyvat, and the potential that some of these tried to enter or are even aware of what's happening but their way to Teyvat is blocked. It would make further sense if we think that its skies are fake as yet another layer of "protection" from the outside.

And now what concerns Dain, he's always tied with destiny in some shape or form. Starting from the fact that he was searching his own destiny when he lost everything with Khaenri'ah's destruction, to his title as the confluence between the past and the future (future isn't exactly a 1:1 of destiny, but they are related), the fact that he has something to do with reweaving all threads of destiny and rejecting this world, which to my interpretation what he's rebelling against is the fate / Heavenly Principles as he keeps saying time and time again that he's an advocate that everyone is masters of their own destiny, as in saying that it's not being the case as things currently stand. To wrap this point up, it's curious that the Heavenly Principles (sometimes interchangeable with destiny / fate) started with Phanes and that, if the Second Who Came is meant to represent a new destiny, the Heavenly Principles continue to predominate.

◜That (divine) throne (of destiny) in the high heavens was never a seat reserved for you from the start.◞

Reading this brings something new in question: what isn't reserved for someone is that they can't achieve godhood despite that's what it's said to be the case (perhaps godhood but with a shit ton of small letters that no one reads) or that it is their destiny that they aren't allowed to choose? We have a "Loom of Fate" operation undergoing, and a new interpretation of Lumine's quote of "I won't rest until the Abyss has engulfed the thrones" is added if we re-shape the quote as "I won't rest until the Abyss has engulfed the constellations".

◜But oh, you who oversteps your bounds, do not stop walking here. For none can watch the fire burn from the other side of the river. Watch...◞

This here is what makes me salty the most, and it's because apparently the Chinese wording of "overstep" can also mean "to usurp". While for now I don't have anything major to say about this, it's the subtlety play that I talked about earlier that makes me raise an eyebrow because in the past (recent and distant) Dain proved to have a way with his words that at first glance and given the timing, it's hard to pay attention to as something relevant but once more information comes that is related to that, it makes you realize that his word choices aren't coincidental and this is one more detail that sheds some light with that. If anything because any knowledge about usurpers seems to be among the highest most classified knowledge of this world (there is an interesting ranking of that, but the lore is too extensive to make one of those) and as always, even though he doesn't state it openly, he once again says something that only those who know about it would understand.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

~ Recognition ~

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warning : fluff , emotional , angst

next chapter , masterlist

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The darkness with the non-glowing stars gave way the closer they came to King's Landing. The moon was setting and the sun was slowly creeping over the city in its earliest hours. It was an incredible sight when the Mormont first woke up. At first she was slightly confused as to where she was, but when she heard the light snoring of Rhaenyra and the growling of Syrax, she remembered the hours before. A smile snuck onto her lips and she looked down at Rhaenyra. ,,Wake up my pretty queen" she whispered softly and instantly a ,,I'm awake all right" went out dreamily and sleepily from the blonde Targaryen. Y/n giggled up as she murmured a ,, Good morning " and gave a kiss to the blonde head of hair. Rhaenyra stretched and cursed her aching muscle due to the restricted position. ,,Why are you giggling? Don't your bones hurt?" the younger asked as she took the reins again and Syrax seemed almost relieved. ,,If you ever fight in a war or a battle, you will know a shoulder as a better pillow," said the Mormont and Rhaenyra nodded appreciatively. ,,Was I a comfortable pillow?" she asked cheekily and the two laughed together. Wordlessly, Y/n laid her head on the princess' shoulder and simply enjoyed being with her again. ,,I'm glad to have you with me," Rhaenyra said, taking in the brief nod. Syrax flew over the city and the older human woman was amazed again. Even though it was only her second flight, it was still breathtaking.

Above all, she seemed to be able to practically reach for the city, so close they flew over the church with its high tower. Rhaenyra tightened her grip slightly as Syrax set down the net, which was taken away by servants, before the dragoness herself landed. ,,Don't worry, they will bring your things to your room. It's near me," Rhaenyra said casually as they stepped down from Syrax. ,,Thank you," Y/n murmured as she gently stroked Syrax's neck and heard the purring underneath. A dragon guardian and his apparent teacher and translator came over to them. Rhaenyra said something to them in High Valyrian and the two suddenly bowed slightly. ,,If you want to say hello, just call Rytsas," the blonde whispered to the older one. ,,R-Rytsas" said the Mormont with a slight hesitation and the men seemed to show at least a hint of joy. ,,Come, I still have to show you around," Rhaenyra said suddenly, pulling the older woman arm in arm beside her. ,,For your second time in High Valyrian, that wasn't bad at all," she commented when she noticed the brooding expression on the older woman's face. ,,I have no comparison except the language of the first humans. But it's just as old if not older than High Valyrian, and even that I can't do perfectly," she explained, and Rhaenyra seemed to understand. But before the blonde could say anything, a familiar face met them. ,,Princess, your father is looking for you and...Lady Mormont I see you are well from the flight" came from Criston Cole who was standing in front of them in an armor of the royal guard. ,,Sir Criston Cole, I am glad to see you again. I see you have been elevated to the position of guard to the princess, congratulations," Y/n said, looking at the shining armor. A proud smile flitted on his lips. ,,Yes, my princess Rhaenyra chose it personally and ordered me to be her guard," he explained and Rhaenyra nodded affirmatively, she herself seemed mighty proud of herself. ,,Say, if the princess allows it, what do you think about another fight to see who is stronger?" asked the younger one, thinking about the undecided tournament cap. ,,Only if you don't tear him" Rhaenyra commented and Y/n chuckled while Criston looked rather indignant.

Before silence fell and the three headed towards the council. Nervousness overcame her as she realized that she would see the Council of Seven. Another new step in her role as leader of the house. To her distress, Rhaenyra broke away from her companion, a small price to pay to keep her secret. They both knew that. The doors opened, and the table with the stone slots appeared. But there were only Viserys, Otto Hightower and his daughter Alicent. But Y/n would not complain, "That's something," she thought. ,,Rhaenyra, you are back," Viserys said happily as Rhaenyra went to her father and stood next to hers, as did Alicent. ,,The flight was very pleasant, Father, and Bear Island is really nothing like our lands," Rhaenyra said, and Y/n smiled happily. ,, Lady Mormont, it pleases us all to see you again. Your name day was only recently and it is truly a joy that with your now official title as Lady, the House of Mormont will continue," Viserys said and a proud smile appeared on his face. ,,You have honored me, my king. But I can already assure you that a handful of ravens from the surrounding Northlands and houses have arrived with suitors for my hand. It may be only a matter of time," she said, hiding her fear and anger behind a confident smile.

But at the same moment she saw the slightly surprised look on Rhaenyra's and Alicent's faces as they seemed almost shocked by Mormont's words. ,,You are truly a beautiful woman Lady Y/n, if I may say so, no wonder the ravens came so quickly" the king commented and received a ,,Thank you my king" and a bow. ,,If you don't mind me asking, Lady Mormont, do you have a closer choice?" asked Otto Hightower, his gaze going down as if he were searching for something on her, before returning to her eyes. ,,House Manderly, as the richest house in the North, pleased me greatly with the offer to marry the Lord's cousin. He is the Commander of the Guard and it would bring only advantages. House Manderly would be surpassed in trade and ships only by House Velaryon," added Mormont, seeing the king's pleased nod and the deliberate nod of the hand that locked his thoughts behind a cold gaze. ,,However, House Manderly are trading partners with House Velaryon, if you want to know more, just ask them," Viserys assured and received a grateful nod. ,,Then I hope a marriage or betrothal will take place soon and House Mormont will get good allies," Viserys said before declaring the meeting over. Otto stayed with the king while the three ladies went out where they met Cristion. He gave the three a nod before slowly walking behind them and watching over them. ,,Y/n you didn't say anything about it have you seen him yet is he good looking?" asked Alicent as the three strolled through the corridors. The older one swallowed briefly and pretended to look to the left at a tapestry. But her eyes flitted over Rhaenyra who seemed to be lost in deep thought and uncertainty. The bear pecked at both of them before she laughed falsely and said, ,,I'll tell you everything, but in a nicer setting. Is there a garden somewhere?". Alicent explained what was in the green area and Rhaenyra smiled faintly.

The three women went to the garden with the old white were-wood tree that looked sadly at them. As if he had looked inside her and seen the future that was to come. The three sat down under the red-leafed tree and enjoyed the sun and the birds chirping for a moment. ,,I could not tell anything half a year ago. I was not yet of age half a year ago. Now, barely three days later, I have already received a handful of applications from the north," she began, holding the hands of both women. ,,The lower houses in my position are too greedy, they want all my land, the ice bay where Bear Island is located. They think I am stupid just because I am still young and...a woman. They probably disrespect me because I'm alone, my uncle hasn't shown up for half a year after a dispute," she admitted, and saw how Alicent had a sad expression in her dark eyes. Rhaenyra, on the other hand, seemed to drift even more into her reflections. Don't worry, it won't break us, Y/n thought, squeezing the princess' hand lightly before continuing. ,,Well, the offer that would be best for my house, which I must continue, is House Manderly. They are rich and require only a few small but very heavy favors from me," she said, falling silent. Talking too much was never a good thing she thought and for a fraction of a second she felt herself being watched. ,,But it will probably take a while. I'll probably only really get into it when I return," she waved it off and felt the pressure of Rhaenyra increasing. ,,Then I will never let you go as your princess and friend," the blonde said and the other two had to smile.

While Alicent found this slightly amusing, a simple joke showed the Mormont's smile bitter. ,,Yes, that would be nice" she answered and the three were silent again as they listened to the sounds of the garden. ,,It may have something romantic about it. He's young, handsome and a member of a guard, and money can buy a lot of nice things," Alicent said, seeming for a moment like a little girl full of dreams and hopes. ,,Or he will take everything away from you," said the princess snappishly, not seeming to find the idea attractive. ,,You're both right, he may have money and my prestige would increase massively. But he is almost three times my age, a man of forty-eight. He may be a fighter but I have to think of my house. My house must survive and if no other suitor comes I will have no choice but to marry him. But with this they would give me the power that I have had to fight for so many times". After these words it became quiet and the other two seemed to understand for the first time in what kind of situation the Mormont was. ,,Everything will be all right, we have each other" said Alicent empathically and the three moved even closer together. The three daughters of noble houses stayed together for a while until Rhaenyra and Y/n decided to go to bed earlier because of the long flight. Alicent also seemed to have something to do, at least she said that her father wanted to talk to her. She's nervous Y/n thought as she looked after the brown haired girl, but dropped it. She had too many thoughts to worry about Alicent's worries as well.

The princess and the Mormont leader walked silently out of the garden arm in arm. Y/n, however, seemed to sense the princess' agitation. She knew they probably should have told Rhaenyra earlier. But the princess' quick arrival was too fast and they wanted to postpone the talks until King's Landing. It is again all too much and too little time, thought the Mormont and was glad when the two disappeared in the room of the older. As soon as the door closed behind them with a creaking wood, Rhaenyra's upset voice sounded in the room. ,,Why didn't you tell me about this?" she asked, distancing herself. She saw the hurt and the break in her trust in the younger one. She knew what Rhaenyra had gone through and was still going through. To complain to her now would not help at all, the older one knew that. Instead she answered calmly and with understanding, ,,I read your letter after the marriage offers. I hardly had time to prepare myself for all this. It was a difficult time for me in the last half year". ,,For me also my father seems to ignore me. He is leaving me and Alicent I don't know, everything has changed," Rhaenyra said, still upset, crossing her arms and looking into the fire in the fireplace. Y/n walked over to her love but did not touch the younger one. She did not want to widen the rift that had formed. I don't want to lose her she thought and looked into the flames instead. ,,You know, everything started to break after I got back to Bear Island. My uncle was acting like a king, making himself too comfortable at the top of the house. I-I almost bandaged him my last blood I almost...Rhaenyra I almost killed him after he-" the elder broke off again. She felt the memories of that day come flooding back. Her heart contracted painfully as she thought of the accusation he had told her. How hurt and weak she was then.

And yet she could not tell Rhaenyra the truth about her mother. It would have been too much. ,,I'm sorry...I could have guessed," she heard Rhaenyra whisper, resting her head on the older woman's shoulder. But the Mormont only shook her head, ,,No, it's all right...it's just too much at once. Believe me when I tell you that I hate it. I hate this duty I have. I hate being a woman knowing that I'm there for the continuity of my home. I...I don't want this man is not what I want and what my heart wants. This man is not you Rhaenyra and this realization hurts. Just like-exactly like when I thought for a moment about ending it. Just everything and jumping down into the cold water knowing that I could just give it up" she admitted her one suicidal thought and her eyes closed as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. But this time Rhaenyra said nothing, the dragoness herself cried silent tears over the loss of her mother and her loneliness. And while the fire gave them warmth, they both realized that even without words they felt the support they gave each other. Their love was what held them together. Their love was something that the two had to learn to recognize and perceive. Because the future was cruel and their duties they had exhausting and deadly. But every kiss, every touch and every little look gave them the certainty even if everything around them would burn and break. They had their love which gave them support. Rhaenyra gently and without haste pulled the older to the big bed which was equipped with soft blankets.

When they both sat down on it, the wood creaked slightly but still seemed to welcome them. They lay opposite each other and the individual blankets nestled over their tired and exhausted bodies. ,,You can stay until the merchants run out of money," she heard Rhaenyra's joking voice and she smiled. ,,Or the crown gets tired of me," the older one replied. However, she fell silent when Rhaenyra's fingers rested on her partner's cheek. ,,Don't say that you have just arrived. All these duties will reach me as well. But you know, let's stop worrying about it, my heart beats too loudly for you to think," Rhaenyra admitted and moved a little closer. Mormont's hands also found their way to Rhaenyra and played with the fair hair of the princess. ,,I missed you so much, my dragon," Rhaenyra heard the older one say, and her fingers moved down to her lips. The fire made the shadows of the two dance lightly, as if they were waiting for something. As if they didn't dare to cross the last line for fear of what was to come. Softly Y/n kissed Rhaenyra's fingers and her grip slowly tightened around her hair. She saw the princess' expectant look, as if Rhaenyra was also waiting for something very specific. Slowly they came closer and closer and she could smell the scent of her lover. It seemed that they had never been so close before.

She saw how the violet eyes looked at her lips and nervously looked up at her eyes. ,,Rhaenyra" whispered the older one and was about to bend down to kiss the younger one when there was a knock at the door. Both of them jumped up before they looked at each other and hurried out of bed. ,,Just a moment!" Y/n shouted before they both straightened their clothes and hair slightly. When she opened the door, however, only Criston was there. ,,Ser Criston, what can I do for you?" the Mormont asked, glancing behind her at Rhaenyra. But the knight shook his head softly, ,,No Lady Y/n you don't, I'm just here to escort the princess to her chambers. The king has ordered that everyone get enough sleep because of the long journey," he explained and the princess sighed softly. As Criston moved away from the door, the princess gave Mormont one last look. But this look was mirrored by the fire in the fireplace, and then the Mormont saw what neither of them had dared to see. What they had both felt. That addictive feeling. It was lust. The desire to feel each other one after the other. ,,Good night princess" said the older one before she closed the door and seemed to exhale. Rhaenyra she thought and her fingers ran over her lips where Rhaenyra had touched them before. But what she became aware of was this feeling between her thighs that demanded. It was almost overwhelming how much she longed for Rhaenyra. Next time I will kiss her and more she thought to herself as she looked at the fire and saw the princess in her mind's eye. But she knew that it might take until their next time together.

The shadow of the night, the darkness and only the fire seemed to accept her love. But it was worth it to her. As long as she could see Rhaenyra and know that the princess was there, every moment would be bearable. She turned away from the fire and went through her room, which was much larger than hers on Bear Island. Beside the big four-poster bed there was the big fireplace, a chest of drawers and storage space for her weapons and other things. Behind another door was the smaller bathing area where a metal tub stood just waiting to be used. In addition, a bowl with water and a mirror that allowed her to look at herself completely. ,,This is nice," Mormont muttered and closed the door behind her. Only when she saw the moon outside her window did she realize how exhausted she actually was. Yawning, she took off her clothes and grabbed her nightgown from the dresser which lay over her body. She pulled the curtain in front of her window and the dark velvet red covered the moon. Only when she lay down in the bed did she realize how much softer it was compared to her actual bed. She sighed with relief and was about to turn to sleep when she noticed a book on her small nightstand. Astonished, she took it in her hand and read the title. The language of the dragons High Valyrian. Curious, she opened the book and a small piece of paper fell out. She took it in her hand and reached for the candle that stood beside her bed. She recognized the princess's delicate, featherless handwriting.

A smile crept onto her lips as she became aware of Rhaenyra's sweet gesture. She turned a page and found a few writings of a master of the citadel next to the preface. Quickly skimming over them, she found herself on the first pages of the ancient yet beautiful High Valyrian. The first words were simple words from everyday life. Before there was an extra chapter for dragons, which seemed to be commands for dragon riders communicating with their dragons. Y/n knew that each Targaryen was given an egg at birth and as soon as the dragon was hatched and the Targaryen was old enough to form a bond with the dragon. Something similar existed for the Mormonts. Each child from the immediate main family got a bear. And I was the last she thought bitterly, knowing that her uncle's bear had long since died. It was a loving male brown bear. But her uncle had treated him badly, he was a fool in his younger years. And so there was only one bear left, Alyssa, which belonged to her and was assigned to the main family. Where might my uncle be? she asked herself, but immediately dismissed the thought and continued to memorize the simple words. She wanted to show and impress Rhaenyra that she wanted to learn High Valyrian. Besides, it was always an advantage to know a language that not everyone could speak. An advantage on many levels. So it was also with the old language of the first people. This was still spoken by the people from the north so also by her. But in the new cities and houses outside hardly to no more. It seemed that the old language and High Valyrian both had something in common. Where she estimated that Viserys was powerful of the first language but Rhaenyra it would be interesannt to test this.

A smirk crept on her lips before she concentrated on the words again and tried to learn the basics for tomorrow and the next days. She passed the time and when the fire in the cammin was already almost gone out so the bear decided to let it be for today. Putting the book on the nightstand and blowing out the candle, she pulled the blanket to herself before she fell into a peaceful and restful sleep. Only with the ringing of the bells in King's Landing seemed to awaken not only the population but also the royal family and their guests. But by the time the breakfast appeared in her room, the young Momront was already awake and had her eyes fixed back on the pages of the High Valyrian. On her dark green and black clothes hung the bear brooch that she still assumed was from Rhaneyra. She had completely forgotten to ask the princess about it. Lady Mormont, the princess is asking for you after you have had breakfast," she heard the maid say, and she answered with a silent nod, not wanting to raise her eyes from the book. Only when she had finished the page, she decided to close the book again and eat the food. Which even if she did not want to admit it was much better than the food on her island. But this was not the reason why she ate the breakfast, it was because she wanted to see Rhaenyra again. When she had finished breakfast, she was about to leave the room when she saw her sword flashing in the light of the sun. But it was the security she felt when she left her room without her sword.

Her path led her to Rhaenyra's room. ,,Good morning Lady Mormont," Ser Criston said as he opened the door for her. Barely noticing him, she scurried into the room and found Rhaenyra sitting on her couch. ,,Y/n, there you are at last," came the delighted voice of the Princess, who stood up and embraced the elder. ,,Avy jorrāelan" ( I love you ) said the Mormont resolutely and saw the surprised but curious look of the younger one. ,,Udrizi Valyrio ȳdrā?" ( Do you speak Valyrian ? ) asked Rhaenyra and the Mormont understood only the word Valyrian. ,,Ehm...Kirimvose" ( Thank you ) the older one answered and raised an eyebrow as Rhaenyra giggled. ,,I didn't think you'd look at the book so quickly," she said, looking proud. I want to be able to understand it. ,,It's such a beautiful language and well, it would be a little secret between us something that no one can take away from us" she admitted and saw the interested look of Rhaenyra. ,,Another secret is always good" whispered Rhaenyra as she passed her bear and their hands touched. ,,Are you coming?" she asked as Rhaenyra waited at the door for the Mormont. ,,Where are we going?" asked Y/n as the two walked through the corridors and the area looked slightly familiar. ,,Well, I'm a cupbearer at the council and you're just accompanying me," she said as if it were nothing. Nervousness and slight uncertainty gripped the Mormont as she realized she would see some of the most powerful men. Of course, a conversation would be out of the question, but the issues at a council meeting were too important. The two women rounded another corner before the small staircase leading to the council chamber appeared.

One last time she adjusted her clothes and the bear brooch before the two entered. She caught sight of the king and the other council members, all of whom seemed awestruck. But she did not comment, instead she answered like Rhaenyra, ,,Good morning my lords". Wordlessly, the two went to the goblets and the carafes with the wine. While Rhaenyra put down the goblets, Y/n took the wine carafe with slightly shaky hands. She saw the encouraging look on Rhaenyra's face as she tried to tell her that she could do it. Gripping the decanter tighter, she walked around the table and poured some for everyone. She also poured something for Ser Otto Hightower. But to her surprise, he held out his goblet and whispered, ,,Thank you Lady Mormont. Which she answered with a quick, ,, Gladly, Ser Hightower". She was just standing next to Rhaenyra again when the door flew open and one of the dragon guardians rushed in. But from his look, everyone seemed to know that something was wrong. Viserys left something of the other in High Valyrian. And Y/n only understood that it had something to do with a dragon egg. The other words were too fast and she didn't know them. But the name she clearly understood was Daemon. I see him again, she thought, gripping the wine carafe tighter. It was not until Lord Beesbury read the letter in which Daemon reported that according to the old Targaryen tradition he had taken a second wife. And something told her that it had something to do with the woman in white clothes.

A hint of jealousy was brewing in her, but she ignored it. However, it was only when Rhaneyra asked what she thought was about the owner of the egg that the Mormont knew something terrible must have happened. The darkening look of Visery and the almost tearful look of Rhaneyra spoke volumes. The king decided to go himself after hearing that it was the egg with dreamfire meant for his deceased son. However, Ser Otto countered and went himself, something that made her doubt. The Secondborne Highness is a good and even better orator and politician, she knew, but she was sure he had never held a sword in his life. ,,Y/n" she heard her name whispered by Rhaenyra who made a subtle gesture to leave. With a last glance at the king, she and the princess disappeared from the room. But the realization hit her already as the two went back to their rooms. Before Rhaenyra said anything, she realized that she should have carried her sword with her. Because what Daemon had done would have consequences. The gods will never have mercy on me, she thought bitterly, but she still felt hope for Daemon. ,,Get your sword and then come to the courtyard...we'll get the egg back ourselves" she heard Rhaenyra say before the blonde disappeared into her own room. ,,Yes, my princess," she called after her before entering her own room and closing the door behind her. ,,Will you have solved my mystery?" she murmured as she reached for Longclaw and stuck Daemon's dagger at her side before looking out at the sky. She knew she was about to take off again with Rhaenyra and meet her second love, from whom she had been separated for even longer.

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[raine-kai]

Thank you for a memory like sea breeze, luffy and jinbei are my favorite boys, have been since post war because a caught up friend chose he been offered a spot on the crew (I was offered a happy spoiler and agreed to it) having zoro who been there for everything else be the other was very sweet trying to protect the crew and let luffy Greive himself (the vice captain comment made my heart happy ♥️) glade to see you have other stories I'll check them out 😊

I'm so glad you enjoyed that fic!! I wrote it like a compulsion 😂

In the post-Marineford manga, it has always struck me how much Zoro's agony at not getting to be by Luffy's side seems to take center stage over all the others... And it's fitting, I think, in the wake of how much Zoro had taken on to keep Luffy safe--the secret as well as the pain.

Luffy was ready to die when we woke up--post-timeskip we see Luffy turn *terrifying* eyes on his enemies, but looking back now, the only moment I was truly scared pre-timeskip was the ghostly look on Luffy's face when we woke up in Law's ship. Without Jinbe there, I'm not sure he would have lived, and for that alone, I adore Jinbe so much.

As a person who has gone out of his way to make sure Luffy doesn't know how much he's sacrificed for Luffy, I do think Zoro would be able to recognize how much Luffy owes to Jinbe and Rayleigh. I don't necessarily think in canon he would talk to them about it, since Zoro and Luffy seem equally comfortable in the idea that nobody needs to talk about stuff after it's done, ever....but I think there isn't a moment in Zoro's life when he isn't aware of the magnitude of what Luffy has been through in his absence. It's so apparent in Punk Hazard, that moment when he yells at Luffy because they all got knocked out by the poison gas, that he is terrified that the crew could go through another Sabaody if Zoro and Luffy aren't in top form.

Now that they've had enough victories together for Zoro to stop being so anxious, I do wonder if he and Jinbe ever talk about it....

Which was the starting point of that fic, which then slid sideways quite a lot when I started writing and realized that from Jinbe's perspective, Ace is a huge part of the reason why he's with Luffy now. And I can never resist adding Ace angst.

I will insist to the death that nobody loved Luffy more than Ace (though I'm sure several characters would argue the point, Luffy being as widely beloved as he is), and nobody saved Ace by simply loving him and needing him more than Luffy (not to discount the value of Whitebeard and his crew on Ace learning that his own life was worth living, that he was loved and deserved to be, but I read a lot into the fact that even surrounded by his crew, when he saw Akainu go after Luffy, he forgot everything else except the need to keep Luffy safe).

All this is to say, I love these characters and the complex interwoven love and loyalty, and I had fun with that fic. :D

[writingcaterpillar]

I posted 434 times in 2022

That's 110 more posts than 2021!

23 posts created (5%)

411 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tainry

@bogleech

@imperiuswrecked

@prokopetz

@copperbadge

I tagged 122 of my posts in 2022

#quicksilver - 26 posts

#pietro maximoff - 18 posts

#comic quicksilver - 18 posts

#art - 16 posts

#namor - 9 posts

#music - 6 posts

#luna maximoff - 6 posts

#scarlet witch - 6 posts

#neat - 6 posts

#doctor doom - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 73 characters

#i'm actually really fucking brilliant at the technical aspects of writing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Quicksilver's costume

On the one hand, his green costume is so heavily associated with the Brotherhood era that he should just never wear green again, and instead stick with blue.

On the other hand, the best choice for visibility while jogging, running, and/or cycling during daylight hours is fluorescent yellow-green with reflective stripes. (I headcanon that his lightning bolt is reflective.)

So the green costume does make sense, if the Avengers are worried about Quicksilver being hit by a car and/or losing sight of him during/after a battle if he's injured. That doesn't mean I have to like it.

14 notes - Posted November 17, 2022

#4

Still mad about House of M

Pietro Maximoff woke up that morning and chose the non-violent path. And he was murdered for it.

Is it any wonder that when Trial of Magneto came around, Pietro chose violence?

19 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#3

current Maximoff pet theory

Everyone knows the retcon is stupid. So let’s explain it away!

Why cut the Maximoffs off from Krakoa? Because little Luna Maximoff knows when someone is being mind-controlled and shows possible signs of precognition. (I think that was just everyone forgetting what her powers are/how they work, but I’m willing to go with it.) Let her visit even once, and the jig is up.

This could’ve been solved by manipulating things so that Luna appears to be someone else’s daughter, but that would have caused (1) Pietro to immediately flip his shit, (2) Wanda to immediately flip her shit, and (3) Medusa to immediately flip her shit, and (4) a paternity test, which would have revealed the manipulation.

So, really, manipulating things so that Wanda and Pietro appear to not be Magneto’s kids was the easier way to keep Luna and her powers away from Krakoa.

Who’s doing the manipulating? Not Magneto. Xavier doesn’t have that kind of power on his own, but he has telepathy and zero qualms about using said telepathy to fuck with/up anybody he pleases. (War hero and king of a sovereign nation Namor. Magneto. His own students. Himself. Every woman he’s ever dated, apparently.  And so on.)

So my current pet theory is that, in the original timeline, the retcon didn’t happen, Luna visited Aunt Lorna on Krakoa and said, “Hey, there’s mind control spores in everyone’s brains?!” and started fighting spores, alerted her dad and other heroes, and that was the end of Krakoa. It took like an hour.

Xavier and Moira hated that. Xavier and Moira put together a small team of mutants including someone with time travel powers, someone with heavy-duty reality-warping or manipulation powers, and someone to troubleshoot whatever fuckups the first two might cause, and then sent them back in time to prevent Luna Maximoff from ever visiting Krakoa. Thus, the retcon.

19 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

#2

Random Quicksilver thought...

It's canon that Pietro was ostracized by the community he and Wanda grew up in. It's also canon that he learned traditional dances and to play at least a mandolin, if not also other instruments, during childhood/adolescence. And it didn't matter that he was the best dancer, or a good musician, or the fastest thing around, because he was still shunned no matter what he did or did not do.

I think there's always this sad little boy voice in the back of his mind going, "If we're perfect and we anticipate everyone's needs/wants and we're perfect, maybe--please, please, please--maybe someone will love us this time? But only if we're perfect."

And yet the voice of experience is also there and going, "Nothing we do is ever good enough for anyone. We can literally save the entire fucking planet and everyone everywhere will still hate us every single time."

Pietro tries so hard at everything he does and goes into people-pleaser mode, because that sad little boy voice insists this time someone will love him if he's perfect. But experience has taught him that never works, that he can exceed everyone's expectations and they'll still treat him how they've always treated him. So he tries--he tries so hard!--but he also bitches about it constantly. And why not? No one's going to appreciate anything he does, anyway. Might as well complain about it. No one's even listening, right?

43 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Things I Learned While Babysitting

Vampirina is not a prequel to Monster High. In my defense, I know next to nothing about Vampirina and nothing at all about Monster High except that my niece liked Vampirina when she was four and my younger cousins liked Monster High at least a decade ago. There's a vampire girl in both and that's apparently the only connection. I am a dork for not knowing this, according to a 6-year-old.

Miraculous Ladybug is not a spin-off of PJ Masks. I only know PJ Masks because of my niece. I don't know anything about Miraculous Ladybug. I vaguely remember hearing it was a French cartoon about animal-themed superheroes, saw what was apparently fanart of little kids in animal-themed pajamas, and made an assumption. Miraculous Ladybug is also not the actual title? I am a dork for not knowing this, according to a 6-year-old.

I said it would be funny to see Megamind and the Minions (from Despicable Me) in the same movie. The response was scathing. Megamind always loses because his plans never work. Plans involving the Minions never work. If the Minions tried to help Megamind with a plan, the "not working" part would cancel each other out and the plan would work and Megamind would blow up the whole entire Earth and no one could even stop him, and that would be a dumb movie. I am a dork for not knowing this, according to a 6-year-old.

In summation, I know nothing about cartoons and have been thoroughly and savagely dissed by a first-grader.

85 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

I'm a boring nerd.

[fyoulori]

So our government can send billions of dollars to Ukraine and allow millions of illegal aliens in the country, put them up in hotels, give them food, cell phones and financial assistance but if you are an American suffering homelessness or financial hardship you are less than a second class human being. It’s nice to know that our government officials can out and out lie to you and use deception to hide their identity to arrest and shoot you in your wheelchair. Then they announce who they are after you are laying on the ground bleeding and paralyzed. If they had announced they were police, this shooting would not have happened. With all the robberies and carjackings and other crime so prevalent in this country what would you expect this man to do to try to protect his family? Ask yourself, What would You do? And now “The government made that task more difficult by garnishing his mom's social security disability checks for nonpayment of camping tickets, which they incurred due to living in an RV, she said in a press release”. This is money that she has earned and paid taxes on! What are the Roberts do do now? America, the once great country! Illegal aliens and Ukraine first!!! Apparently!!! “For the people, by the People” is now “For the illegals by the Government and fuck you Legal and Loyal Americans”!!! Especially if you are homeless or suffering financial hardship. I highly doubt this family chose this lifestyle and were doing the best they could especially with two of them disabled. How much money and resources were wasted on this sting operation against these homeless disabled Americans? They had court appointed lawyers and a social worker, so the government knew of their hardship and some level! Just not illegal alien level! Only when these terrorists crossing the open border commit a horrific acts against America and Americans will something start be done and then it will be too late. There are too many of them, in unknown locations with unknown backgrounds!!! Are they criminals, convicts, military or just out and out trained sponsored terrorists? Why are so many adult males crossing? Where are their families? Where are the women and children? Why after traveling hundreds of miles, they appear with clean clothes and cell phones that got miraculously charged in the jungle? It certainly seems to be a trojan horse assisted by our government and/or the WEF!!! You will have nothing and like it, if we don’t shoot and kill you first! What happened to this once great country? Answer: Corrupt politicians and woke policies and foreign interference!!! This makes me wonder what the REAL story is behind the Ukraine war! Is the guy knocking on your door really a cable guy or solar panel salesman or someone legitimately needing help? I’m not opening my door to find out!!! If I didn’t call you, get off of my property!!! That’s a sad state of affairs for America!!! Trust no one especially the government!!! I hope the Roberts suit wins them millions of dollars but it will never give them back the ability to live like they should have without the pain and suffering this has brought to them. However, there will no government accountability as has been shown by the grievous actions of the government recently! Afgan pullout, border crisis, rampant crime etc.!!!

[short-wooloo]

(Original post: https://short-wooloo.tumblr.com/post/666200054499016704/do-you-even-hear-yourself-the-jedi-were-part-of)

Wow, God tier idiocy here

Like, way to miss the point of the original post and end up sounding just like a fucking nazi like I said in the op

Congrats

Well, first off

It is very clear that this is another galidraan type situation (@monjustmon 's post on the subject https://monjustmon.tumblr.com/post/656610965931114496/so-this-is-what-i-mean-mandos-woke-up-chose), you haven't actually read the source material about the subject, you've just "heard" about the events, so let's just go over what actually happened:

Kalee and Huk were two worlds located in Wild Space, a region beyond the fringes of Outer Rim (which itself is a region where the Republic has little authority and slavery is legal), home to the Kaleesh and Yam’rii respectively, neither were a part of the Galactic Republic, the Kaleesh apparently having only recently become space-faring or simply rarely left their native space, but the Yam’rii did have contact and economic ties with the Republic and Trade Federation

How things began was the Yam’rii, or "Huk" (soulless bugs) as the Kaleesh came to cal them, established an outpost/colony on Kalee, they found the natural resources of the planet weren't what they were hoping for, but the native Kaleesh were of far greater value, and began to take them as slaves, thus beginning the Huk war

Now the exact length of the war or when it began is unclear, but what is known is that eventually a Kaleesh warrior named Qymaen jai Sheelal rose to prominence with his partner Ronderu lij Kummar, the two being leaders of the Kaleesh war efforts and even being considered demigods

Unfortunately, Kummar died in battle with the Yam’rii, and Sheelal was heartbroken, and after so soul searching and wallowing in sadness, Sheelal gave into his grief entirely becoming Grievous

From there the newly christened Grievous lead the Kaleesh in a victorious war of liberation, reconquering Kalee and driving the Yam’rii off world

They won

But for Grievous the freedom of his world and people wasn't enough, he was out for blood

So Grievous lead the Kaleesh in a genocidal revenge campaign against the Yam’rii, attacking their colony worlds and massacring their civilians (and I think that's an important distinction to make, the Yam’rii who attack Kalee would have been slavers and soldiers, killing them would have just been an act of battle)

Now what the Yam'rii originally did to the Kaleesh was horrible

But that doesn't justify the Kaleesh trying to do the same to them

Genocide does not make counter-genocide ok

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind

And genocide for genocide just leaves more people dead, the dead are still dead, nothing is fixed, no one's better off,

And with the real threat of total annihilation on their heads, the Yam’rii made use of their economic ties to the Republic to get help, while also portraying the Kaleesh as the aggressors and themselves as victims

It is here that the Jedi got involved, with a force of 50 (that number is important) sent to end the war, which they did

That, that right there, that is what the person in the above photos considers to be the Jedi aiding in the genocide and subjugation of the Kaleesh

Stopping them from committing a revenge genocide

Now you could argue that the Jedi were in the wrong for not stopping the Yam’rii from originally invading Kalee and enslaving the Kaleesh

But that doesn't really hold up

The Jedi only have authority in Republic space, anywhere else they need permission to be,and Kalee/Huk are in Wild Space, a region beyond the Outer Rim, a region where the Republic/Jedi have little to no authority

Furthermore, the Kaleesh's own limited space travel, coupled with the Yam’rii's economic ties to the Republic (and the Senate's corruption) meant the Jedi probably never even heard of the invasion until after the Kaleesh repelled it

Anyways, with the war over the senate imposed economic sanctions on Kalee and forced them to pay reparations

I fail to see whats wrong here

Yes, what the Yam’rii originally did was horrible, but by this point, they were driven off of Kalee, and the Kaleesh were now attacking the Yam’rii worlds and killing their civilians, with the very real possibility of being totally wiped out, that can't just go unpunished

The senate absolutely was overly punitive no disagreement there, but you gotta remember that this is happening in the years leading up to the Clone Wars, when the senate is at its most corrupt and is being run by sith who are attempting to engineer a galactic scale war, trying to turn people against the Republic/Jedi and make Jedi killers

And before anyone blames the Jedi for this, I will remind you that the Jedi serve the Republic, they do not make its decisions or policies, they do not run it,they have no say in what it does

Now to summarize what happens with Grievous afterwards, this is what kicks off his hatred of the Jedi, and in a deal to free Kalee of its debts Grievous became the the IGBC's debt collector, but eventually ditched the job when conflicts with the Yam’rii kick off again (specifically over the Yam’rii desecrating Kaleesh burial sites on Yam’rii colony worlds, y'know the world's Grievous invaded and slaughtered the populations of), now the IGBC wasn't happy with him leaving so they conspired with Dooku to get him permanently in their service, planting a bomb on Grievous' shuttle and blaming the Jedi, with his body ruined and more vengeful than ever,Grievous agreed to his reconstruction (during which his brain was modified without his knowledge) and thus Grievous the cyborg General with a grudge against the Jedi was born

With that out of the way, I'd like to examine what the person said about Grievous being justified in killing "every Jedi he saw"

only 50 Jedi were really involved in the situation

“every Jedi he saw” includes younglings in the wrong place at the wrong time, padawans drafted into the war effort by the senate/Palpatine, and every other Jedi who had nothing to do with what went down on Kalee

you are literally saying that because 50 people stopped him from committing genocide, Grievous is justified in killing people who aren’t those 50, including children, because they’re a part of the same cultural group as that 50

Fuck you

Plus, All of the above is eu, legends eu, neither informs the movies and shows, and do yknow what the movies and shows say about Grievous, his origin, and his hatred of the Jedi?

Not much, but it implies that his cyborg status is in some part voluntary, augmentations to keep with and kill Jedi because he hates them because he's jealous of them, he wants their power but cannot have it, so he kills them

More importantly, Grievous is a butcher, mass murderer, and war criminal, all of which he loves and is proud of being, there is no excuse or justification for his actions, he wants and loves to kill

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kalee/Legends

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kaleesh/Legends

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Yam%27rii/Legends

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Huk_War

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Wild_Space/Legends

[rowanaelinn]

Thank you

rowaelin month day 24 - missing scene from canon

warning: nsfw content

“Sit,” Rowan ordered, nodding toward the small table standing in the middle of their cabin. Aelin, surprisingly, did as she was told. She sat and parted her legs enough so her lover could stand between them. He had brought with him a pitcher of cold water, putting it beside her with an old rag in bad condition, the fabric had been white a while ago but it was more yellow than anything else now.

“Are you going to yell?” Aelin asked and he only shrugged, taking her bleeding hand in his hand and bringing it to his lips so he could depose a delicate kiss on her bruised knuckles. She smiled at the small show of affection. Rowan had never been good with words, but he had been good at showing her how he felt.

“Why would I be angry?”

It was Aelin’s turn to shrug. “Aedion looked pissed that I punched the witch.”

“I would have done worse for what her coven did to you last spring.” Rowan’s tight voice resonated in the room. His magic started healing her hand, even if she didn’t need it. He just needed to take care of her. Aelin felt her own magic woke up at that, coming out to play with Rowan’s. She would never get tired of this feeling, this connection between their souls.

“You’re the one who got shot.” She retorted, still able to see his bloodied body on the grass, an arrow coming out of him. Aelin never wanted to experience such pain again in her life. She’d take every blow if it meant Rowan not getting hurt.

“But they targeted you.” Rowan looked back at her and Aelin could see the frozen rage on his face. They had been too close to losing each other that day, even if they didn’t even have each other yet at that time.

“Maybe I wanted to get shot,” she smirked. “But of course, you had to be dramatic and steal all the spotlight from me.”

Rowan barked a laugh. “Sometimes, someone else other than you needs to be the center of attention. We wouldn’t want your head to grow too big.”

Aelin rolled her eyes but couldn’t hold back the small smile on her lips. Rowan took more time than necessary to heal her, she knew it, but she didn’t call him out on that. Instead, she chose to enjoy the way his thumb stroked the palm of her hand, the way this simple touch heated her entire body.

She liked peaceful times like these between them, moments when they were together and didn’t either sleep or discuss war plans were rare, so Aelin learned how to enjoy them.

When Rowan was done playing with his magic, he took the rag and wet it before starting to clean her hand. Once again, he took his time, and Aelin was delighted by it. She kept thinking about how good life would be once they won the war and would be back in Terrasen.

“Done,” Rowan murmured before placing another kiss on the back of her hand. She smiled, indeed, her hand was clean and healed as if nothing happened. Rowan came closer to her, wanting to kiss her but Aelin had something else in mind.

Gently, she put her hands on his shoulder and pushed him so she had the space to slide off the table. Rowan looked at her, confusion clear in his eyes, as she walked to the door to lock it. Gods knew she didn’t want anyone other than Rowan to see what she was about to do.

Rowan’s frown deepened when she took her time to walk back to him, intensifying the sway of her hips and drawing attention from her lover just there. When she stood in front of him, she allowed him to kiss her. Just a peck, before she dropped to her knees, never breaking eye contact.

He threw his head back when he understood what she wanted to do, his breathing becoming ragged. Aelin was perfectly content for a moment to just want him as she went for his belt, unbuckling it in record time.

“Fuck, Aelin,” Rowan groaned as she put his pants down, followed by his underwear. He was already hard as if the sheer sight of her on her knees was enough to arouse him. “You don’t have to,” He told her and just for that, she wanted to do it ten times more.

Aelin didn’t answer. No, instead she took him in hand and licked his tip. He let out more curses than Aelin ever heard him speak.

Aelin had never done this, never felt confident enough to do it to Chaol last year, and ever since she had Rowan shared their body on that beach, Rowan had never let her do anything, always taking the lead and being the one on his knees. So, for the last few days, Aelin had planned how to surprise him so she could finally give him this pleasure. Of course, she hadn’t planned on beating the witch just so she could suck her lover off, but it sure as hell was an amazing opportunity. Especially when she had felt the slight change in his scent when she had delivered the blow. She loved his wicked mind.

Slowly, she licked him from base to tip, taking the head on her mouth and using her tongue to play with it. If the noises coming out of Rowan were any indication, she’d say she wasn’t too bad at it.

She used her hand to pump the base of his erection as she took more and more in her mouth. Aelin felt the ghost of a thrust in her mouth and when she looked up, Rowan’s pained eyes were on her.

The overbearing buzzard probably just wanted to keep it slow for her, once again putting her before his own pleasure, but Aelin was having none of that today. This was for him, she wanted him to enjoy himself and think about himself for once.

She slid her hand from his shaft to his balls, cupping them. At this, Rowan’s hand gripped her shoulder. She kept looking at him as she took almost all of him, this tip hitting the back of his throat almost making her choke. “Fuck, you’re so good,” Rowan said and it had her clenching her thighs. Seeing him receiving pleasure, hearing him speak to her, shouldn’t turn her on that much.

Tears were rolling down her face when she pulled her head back, taking him in hand while she tried to get her breathing back to normal. Rowan’s hand clenched on her shoulder when she fisted him harder and while it did nothing to her, she still moaned with him.

“Fuck my mouth,” she looked up at him and he cursed. She was probably a sight to behold right now saliva on her chin and rosy swollen lips, tears coming out of her eyes. Rowan shook his head, but Aelin had none of it. “Come on, Rowan. I’m not some pretty flower that will break.” She told him as she tightened her hold on him, his free hand shot to her other shoulder, trying to keep himself on his feet.

“One condition,” he told her and Aelin urged him to speak by stroking him faster. “Touch yourself.”

It was her turn to shake her head. No, it was all about Rowan. All about pleasing him. All about thanking him for everything he did for her.

“Aelin, I can smell how much you want it, your scent is driving me-” he groaned as Aelin twisted her hand, her other one finding his balls. “-crazy. Do it,” he said and when he saw he hadn’t convinced her, he used his last card. “For me. Do it for me,” he grilled through his teeth, and suddenly, Aelin was undoing her own belt before shoving her hand down her pants.

She didn’t even know males were turned on by this, but Rowan definitely was. Oh, gods, she’d have so much fun with that later. She couldn’t help but smirk at every scenario in which she could tease him that comes to her mind.

As her hand slipped under her panties, finding her soaked heat, Rowan took off her hand from his balls and started stroking himself, eyes fixed on her hand moving under the garments. She moaned, letting her head fall back on his thigh, as her fingers found her clit and started circling it.

Not wasting time, Aelin put her mouth back on Rowan, taking in his tip and some of his length, before stopping her movements on him, looking up at Rowan, waiting for him to do anything.

She moaned around him when she slid a finger in her, and it urged him to thrust. Faster than she could comprehend, Rowan’s hands were in her hair, holding her head still, as he thrust his hips erratically in her.

Aelin had nothing do to but keeping her mouth open as she kept fucking herself with her fingers. She hadn’t touched herself since Rowan first touched her on that beach and she could not help but realize how small her fingers were compared to his.

She gagged every time he hit the back of her throat but she didn’t ask him to stop. On the contrary, she kept moaning around him, her silent way to beg him to keep going. “Such a good mouth,” Rowan groaned and Aelin clenched around her fingers at that. She loved it when he was talkative in bed.

She was already so close, too worked up from seeing Rowan take pleasure and having his way with her. He pulled hard at her head, making her release a loud moan, Rowan followed, taking pleasure in the vibrations around his cock. “Fuck, Fireheart, I’m gonna-” He groaned loudly as she took the initiative to make him as deep as she could.

He had warned her to let her retract if she wanted, but Aelin Ashryver Galathynius had never been one to back down from a challenge. She wanted all of Rowan, wanted his taste deep in her throat.

They worked together, each second bringing them closer to the edge, and when Aelin reached that peak, Rowan followed, spilling himself in her throat.

Her orgasm made it harder to swallow, too focused on what she was feeling. So she wasn’t surprised to see Rowan kneeling in front of her, using the rag from earlier to clean her lips and chin. When he was done, Aelin smiled at him and he returned it.

“You’re amazing, Fireheart,” Rowan said as he leaned in to kiss her. The kiss started sweet and loving, but it soon turned needy. It was crazy to Aelin how they could need each other so soon after getting off, but she prayed to all the gods it would never stop.

When his hands went to take off her shirt, someone knocked on their door. Loudly.

Rowan cursed, letting his head drop on her shoulder as she chuckled, using her small hands to stroke his back.

Apparently, they’d have to wait before he could find out how wet, exactly, it made her to touch him.

-----

taglist: @sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @themoonthestarsthesuriel // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @hellasblessed // @danibutterr // @endlessdaydream // @thegreyj

[redrobin-detective]

Where's my anyone + roulette au

“You’re a disgrace to the name of One For All,” A tall, well built woman said with a vicious hiss. “That quirk should have gone to someone Toshi chose, someone he loved, not stolen by some criminal.”

“uh thanks,” Izuku said, squinting his eyes and looking around the nebulous sphere he’d ended up. The last thing he remembered, he’d been hunched over his laptop trying to both nip a potentially ugly server fight in the bud while figuring out where he was getting next week’s budget. He’d been thinking that bank near Edgeshot’s agency had really shoddy security when he’d ended up here.

Wherever here was.

“Come on, Nana,” a giant bald man said appearing out of nowhere to stand next to Izuku. He placed a large hand on top of Izuku’s head which, after months of living with a clingy cryptid, activated his fight or flight reflexes. As always he chose fight and tried to bite the hand which, unfortunately, was incorporeal. The man just laughed at his efforts which only enraged Izuku more. “You gotta admit the kid’s got gumption.”

“Indeed,” said a quiet man with marks over his eye. “He may be a criminal in name but he acts with a righteous heart.”

“No, no, I’m actually a villain,” Izuku said with a raised eyebrow. He was assuming he was in One For All the quirk - which would be both fascinating and terrifying if he didn’t have budgets he should be working on. Also he very much not in the mood to debate the morality of his actions with a bunch of dead heroes who’d apparently been spying on him. Do they ever turn off or were they constantly there like when he’s in the shower or throwing a burnt pan of soup into space.

“He knows my brother,” one said quietly from the back. He was frail and hunched over but familiar in a way. There was a glint of All For One’s calculations in his gaze when he looked up through his stringy hair. “Izuku freed him from his prison, led to his healing but also prevents him from committing even worse atrocities.”

“It’s hilarious you think I can control the monster who decided to move into my apartment and mother hen me,” Izuku deadpanned.

“You have more power over him than you believe,” All For One’s brother said enigmatically. Oh so being cagey was a family trait then. Izuku was very thankful he wasn’t like that at all. “A compromise then,” he said louder to address more of the spooky ghost like figures that had appeared. Eight in total but one was more mist than man; Izuku studiously avoided looking at the All Might figure. “You may be a villain but you are not quite evil. You broke the chain of One For All, stealing it for selfish purposes but I do believe you are uniquely positioned to fulfill it’s ultimate purpose.”

“Would he really kill his-” one asked

“It’s not up to us, our time has passed,” the brother said with a playful smirk, like an uncle about to pull a marvelous prank. Izuku dreaded his next words. “You may have One For All but you also get every other quirk stored within it. And-” his eyes glimmered, “you don’t get a choice on what quirk you’re given on activation.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Izuku argued. “I can’t play Russian Roulette with my quirk every time I use it.”

“This whole situation is ridiculous,” the brother acknowledged. “If you’d have been patient and didn’t feel the need to turn to crime, Toshinori might have given you his quirk willingly. All that’s left is for you to master One For All to it’s fullest potential.”

“By giving me several quirks at random?”

“You’re clever,” he dismissed. “You can handle it. If not, I’m sure my brother has a nice vault waiting for you to keep you safe. Is that acceptable Number Seven?”

“If the brat manages to kill All For One, then I might consider him forgiven,” the woman grumbled. “He’s the Ninth, whether we like it or not. Maybe he can finally take All For One down, take that burden off Toshi’s shoulders.”

“I literally did not ask to be caught up in this crazy prophecy,” Izuku commented, already feeling himself fading from the world. 

“Should have thought of that before you stole the quirk.” Izuku woke up in a flash, overbalanced in the chair he’d been sleeping in and crashed to the floor. Maybe if he just laid there for the rest of his life, all of his problems would miraculously resolve.

“Izuku, I heard a crash, are you alright?” All For One said, teleporting into the room and crushing Izuku’s hopes for a moment of peace. 

“Your brother’s a jerk,” Izuku mumbled, still face first in the carpet.

“Why do you think I declared war on him and all his successors?” All For One quipped. “He’s also been dead over a century, why do you bring him up?”

Izuku extended his hand to activate his quirk and instead a tendril of black whips sprang out. The villain dodged, was the whips retracted.

“He switched the game to hard mode, randomizer setting. Also he mentioned something about a vault?” All For One made himself conspicuously absent after that leaving Izuku on the floor with a headache and a bunch of quirks he couldn’t control. 

“I should’ve gone with Mom,” he concluded with a sigh.

[milkiane]

radio silence

pairings: fred weasley x fem!reader

warnings: character death, panic attacks, grief, mental breakdowns, tell me if i missed anything.

word count: 1676

note: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGST for @love-peachh’s writing challenge

“hello there! you’ve reached fred and y/n weasley’s fellyto--”

“fred, it’s called a telephone,”

“--fellytone. unfortunately, we can’t come to the phone right now, so leave us a message after the beep!”

beep. beep. beep.

a long excruciating silence was the only thing surrounding your dark and gloomy room after that. you sighed, turning the dials to give it another call.

“hello there! you’ve reached fred and y/n weasley’s fellyto--”

“fred, it’s called a telephone,”

“--fellytone. unfortunately, we can’t come to the phone right now, so leave us a message after the beep!"

it doesn’t make any sense. nothing makes sense.

you should really change your answering machine, because it doesn’t make any sense anymore. it’s not fred and y/n weasley’s fellytone anymore. it’s just y/n weasley’s telephone now.

but it’s the only way you could hear his voice again.

you sniffed. click, click, click.

“hello there! you’ve reached fred and y/n weasley’s fellyto--”

“fred, it’s called a telephone,”

“--fellytone. unfortunately, we can’t come to the phone right now, so leave us a message after the beep!”

it’s been five months. five months without fred. five months without the light of your life.

it’s ridiculous, honestly. how you still haven’t moved on from what had happened.

fred always told you how he admired you for being strong. you knew that he would be disappointed if he was watching you right now, how the love of his life is nothing but a tiny ball of misery.

so you took a bath and cleaned yourself up, making sure to spray an extra amount of perfume that fred loves. loved.

you shook your head, walking towards your mirror. you plastered on a smile. because today is a brand new day, you aren’t going to walk around with your head down. you aren’t going to feel so blue today. for him.

one second.

two seconds.

three seconds.

it faltered away. clenching your jaw, you stared into your reflection.

how can you be such a selfish person? how can you still manage to smile when you’re alive and fred is not?

you took a shaky breath, placing a hand on the mirror. you touched it ever so lightly, letting your fingertips caress the cold surface before smashing the glass. you broke down, grabbing a fistful of your hair as you sobbed on the heap of the floors, shards of glass prickling your skin.

i’m sorry, freddie, maybe next time.

you brought the cups with you when you made your way towards the living room. one was a cup of coffee with the right amount of milk, and the other one was a cup of tea with a spoonful of honey and a cube of sugar.

you placed the cup of tea on the table’s coaster, making yourself comfortable on your couch.

you took a sip of your coffee, watching the steam of the unattended cup of tea slowly rise. looking around your silent house, your eyes stopped on the muggle radio fred had bought the time you went on a date in muggle london.

you set down your warm drink down on the coffee table. slowly dragging yourself towards the device. you held it in your hands, trying to turn it on as you sat back on the couch.

“and we'll build this love from the ground up,

for worse or for better,

and I will be all you need,”

you gasped, tears welling in your eyes the moment the music enveloped you. your hands shakily tried to turn off the radio.

of all the songs that could play, they chose to play your song. the song you and fred would always slow dance to.

when your trembling fiddles did nothing to stop the noise, you whimpered, dropping it on the carpeted floor. your hands immediately finding home by covering your ears, whispering a chorus of no’s and stop’s to yourself.

and as if sensing that you were in distress, george apparated in with a pop, inviting himself in for his usual visit.

he ran towards you immediately, trying to figure out what was triggering your attacks. you were already doing so well. you haven’t had any attacks or meltdowns for a few weeks now.

“what’s wrong, y/n?” george asked softly, pulling you into a hug.

“turn it off,” you whispered, “please turn it off.”

george looked around, his gaze falling onto the radio. truthfully, he didn’t know how it worked. it wasn’t like the old one his dad owned, so he just twisted and turned every button there is, consequently making the music grow louder than before.

you cried, frustration and anguish taking over you as you snatched it off his hands and threw it against the wall.

realizing what you did, you sobbed, rushing over the broken pieces, “no, no, i’m sorry,” you looked at the frozen man in your living room, “fix it george, please,”

snapping out of his state, he walked towards you, trying to remember the simple spell to repair the broken apparatus, “i-”

“george, please, i’m sorry,” you continued to weep beside him, tears still falling down stubbornly no matter how many times you’ve tried to wipe them away.

he sighed in exasperation, “give me a moment, y/n,”

once he remembered what the spell was, he immediately placed the radio away. george looked at you in sadness, fishing out the emergency draught.

“no, george,” you shook your head, retreating backward until your back was against the wall, “no, we don’t- i don’t need that anymore,”

george’s heart broke as he watched you gasp out for air, tears relentlessly falling down your cheeks, “shh, please don’t cry, y/n,”

he immediately tackled you on the floor, wrapping an arm around you to prevent you from thrashing around as he forced the draught down your throat.

george waited a few moments for you to calm down and let the potion do its work. he thought you were okay now, you were doing so well.

he sighed, carrying your body towards your bedroom.

george was seated on the sofa near your bed. fred thought it was necessary for the room, though it hasn’t really been used until now. he was reading one of your books when you woke up.

“it’s our anniversary today,” you murmured, your voice raspy from your breakdown and from just waking up. george looked at you, but your eyes were focused on the calendar affixed on the wall.

NOVEMBER 20th.

george stayed quiet, so you continued to speak, your words still being slurred from the effects of the potion, “i wish i could fix my calendar, y’know? because there’s no more freddie, meaning there’s no more anniversary.”

he sat beside you on the bed, letting you sob on his shoulder, offering silent company.

“i’m so exhausted, george,” you cried, clutching his sweater, “i can’t keep playing pretend. i can’t- i can’t,”

“shh, it’s alright,” truthfully, george doesn’t know what else to do, he doesn’t know what else to say, not when he’s going through the same pain you’re feeling.

“he’s always in my mind. i can see him everywhere. everything reminds me of him, and how it used to be and it hurts,” you cried, “it hurts and i just want the pain to stop, just make it stop, georgie,”

george was crying by now, his body shaking as he held yours, “i wish i could, y/n, i really do,”

when you were certain that george was already sleeping somewhat peacefully in the guest room, you sneaked out of your own with your blanket wrapped around you.

you turned the lamp on once you’ve reached the living room. sitting down, you composed yourself, trying to convince yourself that you wouldn’t cry again, for him.

with a last shaky breath, you grabbed the radio. you turned it on and gently lowered the volume.

settling it down on the mahogany coffee table, you steadied yourself on the couch, letting the smooth melody coming out from the device shroud you.

the lyrics of the familiar song going from one ear and out the other, tears yet again blurring your vision.

you and fred have been stuck in your kitchen, trying to bake a cake for molly. your flour-covered fingers tracing through each word of the recipe book, “hey fred, can you grab the-- ergh,”

fred laughed as he smeared the frosting on your nose.

you scoffed, dipping a finger in and smearing it from his nose down his lips. you smiled up at him, stepping onto your tiptoes as you gave his frosted lips a peck.

the both of you smiled through the kiss, “i guess the frosting is perfect now, no?”

“when we have a child, can we name them after constellations?” fred asked, still running his hand through your hair, “or at least their second name will be named after a constellation?”

you smiled, “of course, freddie,”

“after the war, we’ll start our own family,” he beamed, “i mean, we’ve got the house already. all we need now is our ginger babies.”

“are you sure they’ll be gingers?” you laughed, turning to look at your husband.

“us, weasleys, we’ve got the strongest genes, ‘course they’ll be gingers.” he boasted, flexing his arms to prove his point.

“we’re going to make it out here together, alright?” fred whispered, his forehead on yours, “we’ve got a whole new future out there waiting for us,”

“i love you, freddie,” you mumbled, pulling him into a kiss.

“i love you, too, darling,” he said, kissing your forehead before pulling away, “i’ll see you later,”

click, click, click.

radio silence. you sniffed, carefully setting down the device.

radio silence. the only deafening noise you could hear after turning off the radio.

radio silence. the only deafening noise you could hear in the house which was once filled with love and laughter.

radio silence. the only thing you’ve faced after losing the love of your life.

radio silence. because fred weasley brought all your happiness and lightheartedness with him when he… radio silence.

general taglist: @daltonacademia @inks-and-jinx @weasleyyy @oldschoolkiddo @accioweaslcy @inglourious-imagines @buckysbeloved @iwritesiriusly @fives-cup-of-coffee @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @band--psycho @marswilson24 @miraclesoflove @chokemepansy @spideyspixies @lolooo22 @justfangirlthingies @sw33tgirl @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

golden trio taglist: @bromelain-blessednereid @oldschoolkiddo @sweetnspicysimp @cherie-draco @eunoniaa @acosmis-t @georgeweasleysbabe @gaycatlord-stuff @cedrics-grave @dracosgoodgirl @hufflepufflesbianthings @magicalxdaydream

[blacklight-ghoulette]

alright so i'm seriously in the dark, what happened?

it'll be easiest for me to quote the reddit posts I read on it.

Going under a cut due to length so I don't kill anyone with a wall of text.

From u/awkwardtiefling:

"For those who make it to this thread first, a summary:

Per(lead guitar aka Fire/Dew) is connected in some way with a model named Paris. Paris supported Trump and has posted culturally insensitive content in the past, i.e. a bellydancer looking costume tagged as "g*psy" amongst other typically associated ones, and posted a photo on Thanksgiving while wearing a stereotypical Halloween store style Native American costume, war bonnet included.

They were also upset that she had a weird phase with King Tut and were unhappy that she was "sexualizing a child." He died at 19 so that's not really the issue. Just seemed like a weird and ultimately harmless phase.

From there, they assumed they may have been dating and got very, very upset. She's in a long term relationship with Don McLean of American Pie fame and I believe he's also in a relationship with someone as well? But they've dug through old photos to jump to conclusions and presumably harassed Per off IG with shitty messages, which is unfortunate because now he's being called childish for completely stepping away and removing himself from the issue. Paris is still being hounded as being racist and dangerous(because she supported Trump and obviously hates all LGBTQ+ people).

He's going to care more for her even if she's not squeaky clean than what some deranged kiddos on Twitter think about her. Sucks for him and the rest of the group, though. I have no doubt they'd start pestering the rest them about this.

edit:

Since I know they're poking around Reddit, it's one thing to point out the issues with a person and it's another entirely to harass someone off the internet because of who they're associated with. Some of you certainly did just that and need to accept that some of you needled him into reacting the way he did. Per is likely fully aware and just happens to be able to overlook Paris's past for who she is now.

As far as Paris goes, she probably isn't going to take any of your concerns into consideration. Nobody reacts well to being bombarded and she's just going to dig her heels in and ignore you the more you do it. If she's ever truly regretful for what she did, she'll apologize when she's ready or has a PR person badger her into it."

From u/SchoolfGhoul:

"Pword stand for Per. It's the real name of the lead guitar ghoul. Twitter folk seem to have a real issue with just using his name. They were complaining about the fact that apparently he doesn't like being called 'Dewdrop' and were making a real drama out of thinking like the fandom had upset him or something. The guitarist is a 40 year old man who probably doesn't give 2 shits about some nickname some fans made. However clearly he does take issue with all the drama and vilification that's being going about over who he chooses to be friends with. It's all really stupid and thanks to a few idiotic, immature teenagers who can't deal with someone else spending time with a guy who they have some obsession with, Per shut down his Instagram. I don't blame him really. The man has had a successful career since the late 90s as a Death Metal musician where he could play guitar without being harrassed on social media. I enjoy speaking to the Swedish Death Metal community group on FB. It's where all the cool fans and musicians hang out."

From u/ya_boi_jayy:

"It's a load of horse shit, I'm sure at this point you already know what's going on but I'm adding on to the story. I was added to a Ghost group chat a while ago for some reason. Here are some things they've said about Per.

"manz is a grown ass adult acting like he's 12"

"He woke up and chose emo😭"

"like babe, you are not the main character. don't get me wrong, i love per but.. ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE FOR SOME 😺"

"yeah he posted some edgy lyrics in his story and deleted his account an hour after"

"Per bestie I loved u sm, all this for some 😺😺? HDNDB"

"man he was so desperate to get his 🍆💦"

"they have matching bracelets?? they're in sweden together? they're definitely sleeping together"

"he deleted his Instagram last time when he got caught cheating on his ex fiancé, he is definitely sleeping with her"

This is such bullshit, people can't mind their own business. It's fucked up. For some reason they hate him now meanwhile yesterday they were all like "omg he's so cute i love him sm 🥺🥺🥺" PLUS they're all saying that they're the mature ones.

Here's what Per posted on his story before deleting it.

"Just cause you don't understand what's going on. Don't mean it don't make no sense. And just 'cause you don't like it, don't mean it ain't no good. And let me tell you something. Before you go taking a walk in my world. You better take a look at the real world. Cause this ain't no Mister Roger's Neighborhood. Can you Say "Feel like shit"? Yeah, maybe sometimes I do feel like shit ain't happy 'bout it but I'd rather feel like shit than be full of shit. And if I offended you. Oh, I'm sorry but maybe you need to be offended. But here's my apology and one more thing, FUCK YOU!""

So, yeah. All this shit.

[mini-melo]

i woke up today and chose angst. i'm so sorry.

---

Tubbo was fine, before. At least, as fine as a child of war can be.

(He was never fine—Tommy going MIA only made him worse.)

Tubbo's not fine, but the only person who can comfort him is gone.

(A child weeps for a friend to come back. Nobody answers.)

---

The first month of Tommy going missing, Dream destroyed L'manberg and all the other nations to find him.

(Tubbo watched from the sidelines, doing nothing. He knew this was coming—the presidency was cursed, after all.)

Dream never gave up looking, even after a year has gone by. Nobody ever did find Tommy.

(A man, so powerful, so smart, reduced to insane rambling. Nobody helps.)

---

When Phil broke the news, Tubbo wasn't there.

When Ranboo started visiting Hermitcraft for days on end, Tubbo wasn't there.

When Ghostbur meets the younger brother he doesn't remember, Tubbo wasn't there.

(Back in the thick of the jungle, in a rickety shack made of poorly put together wood, a child looks numbly at a spinning compass.)

Tubbo hasn't been outside for a long time.

---

Phil's the one to find him.

Ghostbur's stories leave him feeling sad and nostalgic.

Ranboo's the one to push him to meet Tommy.

---

Tommy doesn't know this kid Ranboo's brought.

(That's a lie—the kid reminds him of bees and green and happiness—but there's betrayal there somewhere, so he pushes it back.)

Tommy likes friends, and if Ranboo wants him to meet this Tubbo, then he will. Regardless of the mixed feeling his long-gone memories give him.

---

Tommy brings Tubbo to his bee greenhouse and it takes everything in Tubbo not to break down then and there.

(Tubbo missed him, and while this Tommy isn't exactly his Tommy, that doesn't mean he'll leave. Tommy is Tommy, and if he doesn't remember his best friend, then Tubbo will just have to work to earn the title again.)

Tommy hugs Tubbo and wonders why this is so familiar—much, much more familiar than everything Ranboo is.

---

Once upon a time, two children grew up together. They were inseperable, but the world would not have it.

After wars upons wars and betrayals after betrayals, one of the children—still children, still so young—lose the other. He mourns and mourns and prays to gods he doesn't know, but there is no response.

This child, on the edge, not so stable—not quite himself—finally meets his other half.

The ghost of a child brings both regret and hope for the child still alive. The child alive makes up for the mistakes of the adults, and keeps living for his ghostly other half.

(—for neither can live while the other survives.)

Tubbo thinks Tommy is happier as a ghost.

---

i thought i'm making angst but apparently it's more of a hopeful/bitter ending. oh well.

also you are not prepared for what's going to happen next, i swear.

[kozumekenza]

on my mind :: five

:: suna rintarou x f!reader :: playlist :: masterlist ::

:: taglist: open :: wc: 2.2k ::

After a drunken one-night stand with your ex, you thought you could get him out of your life for good. Unfortunately, the two of you can’t seem to keep away from each other. Why can’t you leave each other alone? And more importantly, why is he still on your mind?

tw: alcohol, profanity, mentions of sex

author’s note: this chapter is v self-indulgent + fluffy but i hard a hard time getting it to flow while covering everything, so i’m sorry if it some parts seem kinda confusing. as always, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy this chapter <3

After another week of deliberation, you were no closer to determining if another relationship with Suna would be worth a shot. You didn’t hear from him or speak to him at practice, even after you rejoined the team on the court later in the week. He kept his distance, seemingly wary of talking to you after you left him at his kitchen table Saturday morning. 

You weren’t quite sure what to make of it. Based on his reaction Saturday, you guessed he was probably pissed at you, and you didn’t blame him. He had specifically warned you about regrets on Friday night, and you completely blew him off, just to tell him you regretted everything the next day. It was a dick move on your part, and you understood that. There weren’t any excuses; it was simply your drunk versus sober self warring against each other. 

Nonetheless, you still felt awful. You kept your distance; you didn’t want to further anger Suna with your presence. During practice, you kept to the sidelines, performing your duties with a calculating eye and absolute precision. 

Still, by the end of the week, you were exhausted. Besides the intense contemplation you were performing in your head, work was also draining. Sakusa Kiyoomi sprained his wrist (apparently, it happened quite often), Yaku Morisuke nearly tore his ACL (a devastating injury for a libero), and on top of it all, Hinata Shoyo somehow managed to break two toes, his pinky finger, and got a concussion. Top it all off with the fact that Tobio Kageyama was always hovering over Hinata when he was injured, questioning your every move, and you had a recipe for disaster (or at least extreme exhaustion). By the time Friday’s afternoon practice was finished, you were ready to fall asleep while standing up.

You said your goodbyes to the team, approved the weekend’s schedule with Iwaizumi (it was your turn to work Sunday’s practice match), and took the train home. After unlocking your apartment, you debated whether or not you should go straight to bed without dinner or suck it up and make something quick and easy. In the end, your desire to not wake up starving at five in the morning won, and you went to change before starting dinner. You threw on some old running shorts and Suna’s stolen jersey, which had become your new favorite sleep shirt (who could blame you, it was comfortable as hell). 

However, a quick search through your cabinets and fridge showed that you had almost no food, whatsoever. Not a big deal, you could just run to the convenience store down the street. 

So you did, with no makeup, dressed in sleep clothes, hair in a messy bun. 

Grabbing a basket, you made your way around the small store, ignoring the stares you received from other customers (you chose to believe it was just because of your tangled hair, but you knew it was because you were wearing a Japanese National Team jersey). You picked up some eggs and noodles for ramen, along with some broth. You were in the frozen food aisle, considering the merits of cookies and cream versus matcha ice cream, when someone tentatively called your name.

You spun around, cursing yourself for not at least putting on a jacket, when you began to curse yourself even more for wearing the stupid jersey. 

You came face to face with Suna Rintarou, who was considering you with a pained expression on his face. 

“Hey, Suna,” you switched your basket from one hip to the other, “what are you doing here?”

He held up the package in his hand. Jelly fruit sticks. “Had a craving.”

You inclined your head. “Cool.”

“What about you?”

You looked down at the basket. “Needed stuff to make ramen.”

He nodded, then looked off to the side before looking back at you. “Um, y/n, who’s jersey is that?”

Panicking, you laughed. “Just an extra I found.”

“Really? It has my name on the back.”

Shit. “Oh, well, must be a coincidence, I guess.”

He cocked his head to the side. “I also lost mine a few weeks ago.”

“Oh wow, that’s awful, I’m sorry.” You turned, trying to make an escape.

“Y/n.”

You looked back at Suna. “Yeah?”

“That’s my jersey.”

You laughed again, dread really becoming apparent now. “What? No way.”

Suna just continued looking at you. “Your bra is at my apartment.”

You quickly shook your head. “No-”

“So is your torn skirt.”

“No, tha-”

“We slept together.”

“Yeah, but only-”

“Twice.”

“No, def-”

“And you knew.”

You were really starting to panic, hands waving around, like that would somehow convince him. “No, no, no.”

Suna looked you in the eye. “We need to talk.”

You sighed, accepting defeat. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

---

After awkwardly paying for your food and an even more awkward walk back to your apartment, you and Suna were finally in private.

“D’ya want anything to drink? Water, soda, juice? Wine, something a little stronger? Vodka?”

Suna just sighed, shrugging out of his jacket. “Water’s fine, thanks.”

You poured him a glass of water and yourself a glass of wine, but not before taking a few shots of vodka. You were going to need it to get through this. You approached with the glasses, setting one down in front of Suna before curling up on the other end of the couch. 

“Nice place you got.”

“Thanks.” You sipped from your glass, waiting for Suna to make the first move. When it became apparent that he wasn’t going to speak until you did, you spoke up. “I’m-”

“We-”

You laughed, setting down your glass. “You can go first.”

Suna took a deep breath. “We both have fucked up, in the past and now. I’ll admit it. The way I treated you in high school was shitty, and it’s taken me a long time to own up to it. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you back then. And I don’t know if it’s you getting back at me, or purely coincidental, but I’m kinda hurt that you hid this from me. I mean, for fuck’s sake, y/n, I talked about it in front of you. And you just kept quiet!” You silently watched as Suna took a sip of water. “I guess my main question is why. Why didn’t you say anything to me? Were you just hoping that I would never find out?”

You assessed Suna, allowing yourself a moment to think. “I didn’t hide it from you to get back at you. I’ve long since forgiven you for all of the shit in high school, and it wasn’t just you. I was immature and insecure back then, so for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. I think I didn’t say anything because I was scared. I mean, I woke up that morning in your apartment, with no memory of the night before, and I hadn’t seen you in eight years. I had no clue what happened or why I was there. I didn’t know why you were in Tokyo, and honestly, I thought you would’ve been disgusted. We hadn’t spoken to each other in a long, long time. I didn’t want our first meeting after all those years to be an awkward morning-after. And about the jersey,” you laughed a little to yourself, “that was pure coincidence. I had no clue what I had taken until I got home, and I had no idea how to return it.”

Suna nodded, seemingly thinking something over before speaking. “I forgive you. I’m not even that upset about everything, to be honest. I think it just kind of hurts that you kept it from me. And I’ll admit, I was really bothered when you just left last Saturday. I don’t know how much of what you said Friday night is true, and I was a little drunk too, but I meant everything. I didn’t want you to have any regrets, and I don’t regret it.” He chuckled to himself, “I mean obviously, I wish we had slept together under different circumstances, and I wish that you didn’t regret it either, because it clearly made you upset.”

“I think it just took me by surprise, that was all. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t get drunk and sleep with you again, and I did exactly that. I was upset at myself, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.” You made eye contact with him, hoping that your eyes could convey the emotions that your words could not. “For what it’s worth, I meant everything as well. I did miss you, all those years we were apart, but I hope you understand why I had to leave back then. We were tearing each other apart, constantly. I had to do the hard thing and get out before there was nothing left.” Tears started to well up in your eyes, and you quickly wiped them away. “I had to leave. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, because I loved you,” your voice broke, “no, because I still love you, so much. For eight years, I focused on bettering myself, and I tried every single day to forget about you, but you were always on my mind. And I was terrified when I saw you again, fuck, I’m still terrified. But you’re my best friend, you always have been, and I love you, Rin.” You couldn’t stop the tears that were flowing now, after bearing your heart. You let Suna pull you in, and cried into his chest as he stroked your hair and whispered calming words. When the tears finally stopped, you remained tucked into Suna, your head underneath his chin. 

“I never stopped thinking about you, or loving you.” Now Suna was the one who sounded close to tears. “You can ask ‘Tsumu. I always asked him for updates on you. I remember, when I got my National Team letter, the first thing I did was ask ‘Tsumu if you’d be a trainer here. I kept up with you, and I knew you had just completed your training with another team. So I knew you were gonna be here, and I thought, maybe, just maybe, this was my chance. Our chance to fix the whole ‘right person, wrong time’ thing we had. ‘Cause that’s what I’m convinced it was. We just didn’t know how to balance each other out yet or how to be in a real relationship yet. We were still kids, learning about ourselves and the world. When you left, I was determined to not make it the last time I ever saw you. I knew you had to leave, had to find your place in the world, without me. I never blamed you. You did the hard part by leaving. What you didn’t know, though,” Suna hugged you a little closer, “is that I was always there, right next to you, cheering you on.” Now the both of you were crying. “I want to fix things with you, make things right. If there’s anything I learned last Friday,” Suna gave a wet laugh, “it’s that we can still talk to each other, and we can do it better than we ever did. I want to be with you, again. I want there to be an us, again.”

You sat up a little, putting some space between the two of you. This, you weren’t so sure about. You looked to the side, trying to avoid Suna’s pleading eye contact. “Rin,” you looked back up at him, “you know I love you. You know I missed you so, so much. But I just need a little bit more time. And I’m sorry to even ask you-”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay.” He held you close as you began crying again. “I understand, I do. I’ll wait, as long as you need me too, I’ll wait for you. Just promise me that you’ll let me know when you’re ready.”

You nodded against his chest. “I promise, Rintarou. Thank you.”

You stayed there, head on his chest, just listening to his heartbeat. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. It was nice to get everything off of your chest, to figure out where the both of you stood with each other. It was nice to know that you would have the time and space to sort your head out, to fully work out if a relationship with Suna was a good idea or not. There were still so many aspects of your high school relationship that you had pushed to the side years ago, and you needed to sort through it. You needed to separate that Suna from this Suna, the old you from the present you. You needed time to be in a better mental state, one where you could give him your all. 

But you knew, no matter how much time it took, Suna would be waiting for you. 

---

When Suna finally left your apartment, it was hours and a teary goodbye later. You promised to keep in touch, and he promised to give you time and space. 

You went to bed feeling significantly lighter, dreaming about a future where you could fall asleep on Suna’s chest every single night. 

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