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poetrusicperry · 3 years

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Hey!! Ok so about me ummm i have curly/wavy brown hair, a bit longer than my shoulders, and hazel eyes. My personality, im very talkative but still introverted and i get awkward at events where i dont know a lot of ppl (i still love partying and dancing w friends tho) so i am a fan of my down time that involves either reading, writing, or watching tv. i love talking to people and friends, I’ll always listen if someone needs to vent to me and I love hearing ppl talk about their nerdy sides lol. i also tend to ramble a bit in conversations and im open to sharing a lot of things about myself. I’m also a very honest person who keeps it real with people and is straightforward about how i’m feeling and i like honesty from other ppl as well. I sing in choir and love music, I’m also sort of into theater, I’ve watched a good amount of musicals and LOVE Funny Girl. I read a lot, mostly cheesy romance books like red white and royal blue or to all the boys i loved before. I also love Harry Potter and can talk about that for ages. Feel free to ship me w who you think is best I’ll love anything but if it helps, part of me kins todd bc of his anxiety, i really feel like charlie is my spirit animal at times, i just resonate with his vibe, and i love neil. Thanks!! :)

beth !!!<3 i hope i did justice with this and you like it just as much as the anderperry piece from the other night (; thank you for all you do. here it is:

ship:

going to ship you with the cutest little baby himself, todd anderson. even though you’re very similar in terms of personality, you were juuuust a tad more outgoing than him, which allowed him to open up really well because you showed him how (:

hcs:

neil would love talking theater with you. he’d try to convince you to come tryout for the upcoming play, but when you refused nicely, he took it in stride, just grateful that he was able to geek out with someone about something that meant a lot to him

he’d be so, so supportive of you singing in choir and would always take initiative in planning how he and all the other poets would get to and from your recitals

you and todd would grow together so much in your relationship, moving forward with your social anxieties, and making your bond that much stronger (see: “grow as we go” by ben platt)

you and cameron got on fairly well, mostly he just helped you with any school work you would get confused on (and he always found you cute, but never ever said anything in respect for both you and todd)

consider you and meeks the hugest harry potter geeks in the friend group, charlie giving you guys a hard time about it. but once you lent him your books, he would join the discourse between you and meeks, wanting to know what house he’d be in and talking about hp nonstop

having to encourage todd to trust himself as a person and open up a bit more was a hard task at times, but he’d just watch your example of how honest and comfortable you seemed with yourself, and it got easier as the months went on

sitting in a room with knox, charlie, and neil listening to them rant about how much they didn’t want to follow in their dads’ footsteps, and only giving advice if they asked (they were just thankful that you listened to them)

todd would fully understand and respect your down time/alone time, asking if there was anything you’d need to have a nice afternoon to yourself

even if you didn’t say you needed anything, a new book and a couple of hand-written original poems would find their way onto your desk while you were out (:

charlie always giving you a “hard time” for how you were so quiet in class, but would talk nonstop when it was just you and the poets (“do you want me to not be comfortable around you guys ? because i can make that happen,” you’d say. to which his response [slightly panicked] would be, “no ! of course not, i’m merely making an observation and commenting”

you and todd finding a nook somewhere on campus where you could just sit and read together, enjoying the silence and each other’s company

you and pitts would most certainly have a show that you would binge together; hours at a time. i mean seriously, to the point where meeks would have to check if you guys were still alive after he’d been in a study group all afternoon on the weekends

todd would also love to play with your hair because it was so pretty (i’m sure a description of your looks was utilized in countless poems of his)

blurb:

on the night of one of your choir performances, you had left the poets in the midst of an argument about how todd didn’t want pitts to wear his plaid blazer because todd wanted to wear his, claiming it was “his girlfriend’s performance and wanted to look good,” (which he always did in his plaid blazer and black slacks). neil was worried they’d be late, constantly checking his watch, and charlie was running around messing up cameron’s and pitts’ hair for fun.

by the time they had gotten to the performance hall and seated, the lights were dimming. neil was just glad that they got there on time, and todd was so excited to see you doing something you loved. needless to say, you were the star of the show, and todd’s eyes were gleaming as he watched you (later on he’d tell you that he’d never heard something so pretty come out of someone’s mouth ever). when the performance was over, they would cheer so loud, earning dirty looks from all the preppy parents in attendance. you’d be so excited to see the boys, but todd in particular. after you came out of the stage door, they’d all be waiting, todd holding a bouquet of flowers, and the other boys giving you a humongous round of applause (complete with “whoops”/shouts) and congratulating you on doing such a good job.

“you are amazing, beth,” charlie and neil would say, giving you big hugs. the other boys would agree, and you’d turn to todd who held the bouquet out to you, clearly speechless. he kept starting to say something, but could just give you the most humongous hug ever,

“you are everything,” he’d say quietly just so you could hear. he truly didn’t know how to convey just how much you left him in awe, but when you woke up to a poem about it on your desk the next morning, it meant that much more to have him in your life.

#dps #dps headcanons #todd anderson #dead poets society #todd anderson x reader #angelina writes

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5lazarus · 3 years

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Could you expand on your take that fanfiction is more analysis than writing?

Fanfiction can't stand on its own. It's a commentary on the story that the fic writer is interested in, interpreting another person's story and highlighting what personally struck the reader. It also uses a very, very different skillset than writing one's own story. Fanfic generally focuses on character introspection that, in the original narrative, would disrupt the plot. Fluff in Solas/Lavellan, for example, is analyzing the latent desire for two world-shaking historic figures looking to relieve pressure and sink into something normal, often domestic--and blows off steam for the fic writer. But from a storytelling standpoint, looking at the grand scheme of the pacing of the story that Dragon Age: Inquisition is trying to tell--it's more effective to have a brief exchange of dialogue, that hints at those moments the fic writer craves, and refocus on the action. (bc DA:I struggles with pacing on its own, and it's not trying to be a love story--it's about the cost of apotheosis) What makes good fanfic writing--those deep moments of character exploration, looking at those what ifs?--tends to make bad writing outside of fandom. I read a very long fantasy novel recently, that I could tell was Naruto and Avatar: the Last Airbender fanfic. It would've made a very good fanfic: what if the Southern Water Tribe had been conquered by the Fire Nation, and Katara was drafted into the military? I would've loved that story. As a novel, it was very poorly paced, and about 400 pages of the 600-page book could have been cut. Way way way too much filler--that's a fanfic writer's habit. It's an analysis of text in a storytelling format--what if this happened in canon instead of this? What if this character was like this rather than that? What if the world was slightly different? What if these people had met then, rather than now? It's writing, sure, but I don't consider my fanfic as being similar to my short fiction or longer-form pieces. It's much easier to write fanfic, for one thing. I don't have to worry about walking the reader through the suspension of disbelief, since Dragon Age has already taken care of that for me. I don't need to show that these Odo and Quark really do love each other, because anybody who's watch DS9 has already seen that, so I can just write about the two of them trolling each other. I can learn about styles--how to pace a plot, balancing a scene, cleaning up dialogue, etc. I learned quite a lot from a Star Trek Gift Exchange I did, where someone requested cosmic horror murder mystery Julian Bashir/Lore--how to take the structure of a detective story and made it weird fiction, with the shorthand of worldbuilding bc it's fanfic. But writing a cosmic horror detective mystery, as I'm working on now, as part of its own work? Very different--because in fanfic, the reader already knows the setting, the characters, the bare bones of the plot. I have much more work ahead of me, building my own story. It's interacting with someone else's story, at the end of the day. It's commenting on what could have been. That's a form of analysis. It's a subgenre of literary analysis, close to personal narrative. Creative writing, yes, but very different skillset. And when you're writing fiction, you have to unlearn a lot of fic writer habits. I read an Ursula K LeGuin essay on writing high fantasy, where I disagreed with most of what she said, but she had one point that I needed to hear--there's a problem with a lot of fiction where it just seems characters are walking in a void. You can't visualize where they are at all. In fanfic, you don't have to worry about that--you can just say the Forbidden Forest or Skyhold or Quark's Bar, and the reader already knows. But for a story, that's deadly. It hit me especially when I read Shirley Jackson's story "Elizabeth" earlier this week, and could immediately see where the protaganist was--and more than that, how she carried herself through the world she was being written in, and how that world (the desk near the door of the minuscule office) interacted with her. It's made me think

much more deeply about how I talk about movement in a story. Vladimir Nabokov used to trace characters' walks through a setting, in his talks on Jane Austen and James Joyce--because that means something. That's something fic writing loses, because all that work has already been done--it doesn't need to! It's trying to do something else, it's not building a world, it's analyzing something that was said in canon and extrapolating. I like fanfiction, I write a lot of it, I read fanfic when it strikes my fancy, but it's my conversation with the text, be it Disco Elysium, Dragon Age, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Naruto, Babylon 5, Avatar, and so on. It can't stand outside of the text, and it shouldn't. It would make absolutely no sense outside of the context in which it is written. tldr: fanfiction is commentary in the form of creative writing, it doesn't stand on its own, and the requirements of fic writing don't translate well to writing your own work.

#ask #personal #writing

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raffinit · 4 years

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for ur sylvaina prompt ask if ur still doing it: as a sign of good faith during peace negotiations, jaina invents a few spells (w/ her brother as a willing test subject) for sylvanas and the forsaken. spells to help improve taste, for example. little things to help an undead get through the day a little easier, things that only the forsaken or those who lived with them would know about. basically jaina helps with forsaken accessibility and sylvanas not knowing what to do with that

thank you to everyone who bought me ko-fis

bc of you i can actually put a read more cut on this with my VERY OWN COMPUTER SOBS

back to regular updates soon i promise, i just have all these beautiful prompts

-------

It began, like most things, curiously. Or rather — with curiosity. It was a trait of hers that drew mixed results at times; more in her vibrant youth than in her middle age. Her mother once told her that she had enough curiosity to kill ten cats, and Jaina had worn it then with pride.

She learned, with time, to contain her curiosities. To apply them scientifically; because science allowed for more curiosity than she knew what to do with. Science was her excuse for setting the curtains on fire when she was nine.

Science was her excuse for portalling abruptly into the war room and landing on the table during a council meeting.

Science was why she stared so intently at Sylvanas Windrunner.

Or perhaps, more accurately — it was purely curiosity at that point. The Banshee Queen was an unreadable figure, an inscrutable force that left Jaina all but reeling with each passing day the Horde and Alliance drew closer and closer to sealing a peace treaty.

She never thought she'd live to see the day.

What she still couldn't quite put her finger on was — ironically — Sylvanas.

The Warchief did many things that were incomprehensible for one reason or another. But to Raise Derek — what could Sylvanas have possibly gained, short of perhaps tormenting them with the knowledge that she simply could?

Her reunion with Derek had been a tearful one; rife with things that neither of them could fully comprehend. Clutching her brother close, clinging to him tight, she caught the figure of the Warchief in her periphery; caught the strange melancholy on Sylvanas' face.

It was there for only an instant. Sylvanas' ear flicked, then her burning eyes flashed to meet Jaina's.

Jaina blinked and the Warchief was gone.

Reconnecting with her brother came in stages. Baby steps. They had become vastly different people — too changed to reminisce without sorrow in its wake.

Still, beneath it all, beneath his Undeath — Derek was still Derek.

Derek, who teased her fondly about all that he could. He who boldly tested the limitations of his Undead form in ways that brought back memories of a childhood spent clambering over tree branches and diving off cliffs.

"What does it feel like?" she asked one day, when her curiosity became too much.

Derek paused, lifting his head to stare off into the horizon. “It feels like…living behind a curtain, honestly,” he confessed. “I feel present…but my presence feels…” he shrugged. “Muted, almost. As if I exist on only a fragment of this plane. I’m stronger than I ever was; I can do things I couldn’t even imagine.”

Jaina ducked her head to meet his eyes encouragingly. It was still unsettling, in some way, to look into her brother’s face and see the burning unnatural shade of his gaze. “But…?”

“But I do miss it,” he sighed, a wistful look on his face. “Eating, drinking. Sleeping. I’m never tired, but sleeping’s never just been about being tired, has it? I’d like the privilege of choosing whether or not I want to rest.”

Jaina felt that deeply.

She blinked then, head tilting curiously. “Do you not taste things anymore? I’ve read some things about that, but I thought Forsaken could eat. And sleep. There were inns in the Undercity.”

“I understand about as much as you. Perhaps even less so,” he said, reaching out and squeezing her hand. He gave her a soft, self-deprecating little smile. “But here I am, lamenting the things I’ve lost when I should be grateful to even be here to begin with.”

She smiled at him faintly, though her mind was already reeling with thought. With the myriad of ways that she could — that she should — help.

“…what if you could do those things again?” she asked.

Derek paused and turned to stare at her curiously. Whatever it was that he saw there on her face made a knowing smile spread across his lips. “I know that look,” he said. “That’s a science look.”

Jaina smiled slowly. “Are you up for an experiment?”

“Always,” he said gamely. “Anything for science.”

-----

They tried spells first. Little experiments of magic that Jaina imbued her brother with in slow, gentle touches. The Light burned, but too much arcane made Derek sway like a sailor drowning in his cups. Some spells rekindled too much of Derek’s living form; made him inescapably aware of the damage his body had borne.

The agony on her brother’s face made for many sleepless nights and haunted dreams.

“This one makes everything smell,” he said one today.

Jaina brightened hopefully. “Good smells?”

“Like eggs.”

“Eggs?”

“Farty eggs. Like kippers in the morning.”

Jaina huffed and waved her hands briskly to recall the spell. “Maybe a potion instead.”

It took her another few weeks to pull together a functioning elixir. Nights spent hunched over her desk, sleeping with her cheek pressed to page after page of notes from ancient tomes and books helpfully “borrowed” from the vast library of Stormwind City.

Derek watched her some days, peering over her shoulder like a curious child at the window of a bakery. She indulged him as much as her patience would allow; until eventually his persistent questions and hovering made her all too aware of the cramped space of her temporary rooms in the Keep.

“How about you sit,” she said, jerking her chin at the plush armchair by the fireplace. “Tell me about what it’s been like since you’ve...Risen.”

Derek peered at her wordlessly but obliged, settling himself comfortably into the armchair. “What exactly do you want to know?”

Jaina shrugged. “Anything, I suppose. Everything? The Forsaken are an enigma to us. The Warchief most of all.”

“I don’t have anything to report,” he drawled. “She never spoke of plans to double-cross the Alliance, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

“I just meant as a person,” she replied in exasperation. “What was the Warchief like...up close?”

Derek blinked and sat back into the armchair, staring for a few thoughtful moments into the fireplace. At length, he said, “She’s a lot kinder than you would think. When I first...Awoke...she was there. She wouldn’t leave me until she was sure I could manage it on my own.”

“Manage what?”

“Existing, I suppose.” He twisted around in the armchair and peered at her over the back. “Did you know; she said I led her to my body?”

Jaina blinked. “What?”

“My soul, that is. She said she could hear it. She could hear all of us.” Derek’s voice softened with thought, and something like pity. “All of the souls lost at sea. The ones who never made peace with it. The ones who refused to rest.”

Incredulous, she asked, “She can do that?”

Derek nodded sagely. “So it seems.”

“Hmm.”

Eventually, she held out a vial of something that looked like it was made of something between the aether and sewage water. “Here.”

He took it in hand, tilting the vial this way and that and swirling it gently. “Couldn’t it have looked like a pint of mead or something? Why do all potions have to look like bog water?”

“Derek.”

“Fine, fine,” he huffed, bringing the vial to his lips —

“Just a sip, first,” she warned, eyes wide with apprehension. “Hold it on your tongue for a moment and let it coat your mouth before you swallow.”

He complied with a slight nod and Jaina watched as Derek’s jaw moved in a slow flex; as if he were considering a particular vintage of port. His glowing eyes blinked in surprise and he pulled the vial away to stare down at it thoughtfully. “Doesn’t taste as awful as it looks.”

Jaina’s eyes lit up eagerly. “So you can taste?”

Derek opened his mouth to reply, then winced hard. “Yes,” he croaked, glaring down at the vial in betrayal. “Farty eggs and kippers.” He stuck out his tongue and tried to scrape the taste off it with his teeth.

“Are you sure you’re not just confused with the smell of the sea?”

He gave her an exasperated look and corked the vial. “I think I’d know what the sea smells like.”

Jaina sighed, reaching up to run a hand through the already-tousled mess of her hair. “Back to the drawing board.”

Their success plateaued for a time; there was nothing more that Jaina could do that yielded any further result, and the frustration was building. She took to wandering the stress of Stormwind, watching the Forsaken as they bustled about. They were wary still — all of them, but the Forsaken moved with darting glances over their shoulders and the reflexive flinch of beings long-accustomed to violence.

Some mornings, she dared to test her tongue at Gutterspeak; pulling what little Derek had managed to teach her. They stared at her at first, eyeing her with open distrust and hostility that made her wonder if the words her brother had taught her weren’t inflammatory somehow.

Still, she persevered, walking among the Horde by herself when she could. Most meetings between the Alliance and Horde ran long, and there were some evenings when she would catch the glimpse of rich purple and feathered armour around the bend when she walked.

Sometimes, she would catch the Warchief’s eye as she passed. Sylvanas’ eyes gleamed at her brightly, watching as a cat would at a passing flicker of light before nodding once in greeting.

For how distant she was from the Banshee Queen, Derek seemed to have no qualms with approaching Sylvanas.

At times, she saw them talking — in quiet asides that halted abruptly the moment any other individual came within earshot, and it prodded at Jaina’s curiosity once more.

“I never thought I’d see you so friendly with the Warchief,” she remarked one day.

Derek shrugged. “She brought me back. For whatever reason. And despite what anyone might think...she...cares.”

“Cares?”

“Ask her yourself,” he replied, nudging her in the shoulder.

She didn’t, only kept her efforts of mingling with the Forsaken. Most were wary of her still, barely acknowledging her words or pointedly ignoring them.

Then one day, a Forsaken replied. His words were guttural and harsh in tone, but the words were almost...friendly. “Good morning. You must use your throat more.”

Jaina obliged readily and welcomed any and all criticism that came. Some were malicious and stung, but a majority of those who engaged her seemed...bewildered at her willingness to learn. “Haven’t others tried to learn Gutterspeak?” she asked.

The Forsaken shook his head. “Gutterspeak is beneath the Alliance, isn’t it? ‘Tis the language of us Forsaken.”

Pursing her lips, Jaina said, “All peoples should have a right to their own language.”

“Perhaps,” he replied, eyeing her with something less than hate.

Though most were wary but polite, not all members of the Horde were as accommodating. She dared to approach a warlock troll one day, blinking in surprise when he curled his lip and sneered at her.

“Why would I be sharin’ de secrets of da Horde wit’ ya?”

“Because I want to understand more about your people,” she replied staunchly. “I’m only trying to help —”

He barked out a laugh, the sound calling the attention of the nearby folk. Orc and goblin and trolls watched on, murmuring among themselves as Jaina fought back the embarrassment building in her belly.

“Leave her alone, Zaejin,” an orc said. “You’re not stupid enough to challenge the Lord Admiral.”

“Mebbe it be time someone did,” Zaejin growled back. In his hands, a dark, swirling ball of energy formed.

Jaina backed slowly away from them, smothering the prickle of arcane itching at her fingertips as more of the Horde began to gather. Something solid and cold bumped against her back and she helped softly, spinning around in alarm —

“Lady Proudmoore.”

She stiffened, staring up at burning red eyes.

Sylvanas peered down into her face impassively. A hand reached out and grasped her arm, steadying her in place. Those blazing eyes flashed back to the crowd.

Before Jaina could speak — to explain, or perhaps protest — Sylvanas insinuated herself between them, all but looming over the warlock. “Have you any qualms with the Lord Admiral that I have not heard, Zaejin?”

The gathered Horde froze, darting nervous looks between them as they shuffled back. Zaejin bowed at the hip, refusing to lift his gaze from the ground. “Warchief. How are we ta trust de Lord Admiral’s intentions —”

“Has she given you cause for concern?” Sylvanas drawled. “Has she trod on your toes? Planned a military coup to usurp power while we are in peace talks with the Alliance?”

“Who knows with de likes o’ her,” Zaejin grumbled, casting a resentful look at Jaina.

“Then this peace treaty is a waste of time,” Sylvanas said. “If you’d like us to return to war, only say so, Zaejin. I shall leave the Lord Admiral to deal with your insubordination herself.”

At last, Jaina found her voice. “It’s alright,” she croaked, darting a slightly bewildered look between Sylvanas and Zaejin. “It’s understandable that he would be...wary still. There is too much between our factions to expect everyone to be content with peace talks.”

Sylvanas’ ear flicked, her burning eyes flashing with amusement as she inclined her head. “That much is true. Regardless.” She reached out and laid a hand on Jaina’s shoulder, squeezing just so to leave the woman gaping wordlessly at her grip. Setting her eyes to the crowd, she said, “Let it be known; so long as we remain in Stormwind, the Lord Admiral is free to walk among the Horde with my blessing.”

A rich plume of power began to bleed from her shoulders effortlessly and Jaina fought back a shiver at the raw strength of it. “Have you any protests, warlock?”

Zaejin said nothing further, only glared. Boldly, Jaina reached out and touched Sylvanas’ elbow, casting a speaking look up at the Banshee Queen. “I think your point’s been made, Warchief. Let us do as you say and lay our animosities to rest.”

Wordlessly, and strangely, Sylvanas complied. “I shall escort you to your quarters, Lady Proudmoore.”

Jaina blinked. It didn’t exactly sound like an offer so much as a command, but she quelled the instinct to bristle and nodded mutely.

“Thank you,” she mumbled, when they were a fair distance away. “That was...unnecessary, but thank you.”

Sylvanas inclined her head; the weight of her hand lingered at the small of Jaina’s back. “If these peace talks are to bear fruit, we can’t have the Lord Admiral of Kul Tiras assaulted in the streets. And we can’t have you levelling half the street in retaliation.” Her eyes slid sidelong knowingly.

Jaina huffed. “I could have managed with a little more tact than that.”

“I have no doubt,” Sylvanas said. They walked on for a time in a stilted sort of silence, until the Warchief folded her arms behind her back and remarked idly, “How have your experiments been going?”

Jaina paused in her step and stared.

Shrugging, Sylvanas said, “Derek likes to talk.” It was strange to hear her brother’s name on such a foreign tongue. “I understand the desire to...process the state your brother returned to you in. Not many of the living had such a kind reception to their Undead loved ones.”

“...He told me you gave him the choice to come back. Despite everything.” Jaina’s gaze was hard and searching, but not unkind.

Sylvanas’ ears swivelled and flicked, but there was nothing in her face that gave away the Warchief’s thoughts. She shrugged. “...I do not Raise those who do not wish to be raised. Not without purpose."

“And what was your purpose here?”

Sylvanas peered at her thoughtfully before turning back forward. “I did not Raise him with the intention of misusing him. I know the stories the Alliance tells about my powers. My goals and aims.”

Her burning eyes slid sidelong to Jaina for a moment. Quietly, she said, “I will not lie and say that the possibility never crossed my mind. But the Forsaken have never been mine to use. They are my kin, not my servants.”

The weight of Sylvanas’ words stunned Jaina; brought every story about the Dark Lady and her relationship with the Forsaken into question. Many thought her a tyrant — and she was, in many ways — but this was not one of them, it seemed.

Jaina ducked her head almost in shame before nodding once, meeting Sylvanas’ gaze steadily. “I believe you.”

Sylvanas made a noise in her throat, tilting her head curiously at Jaina. “...Does he regret it? Some do.”

“No,” Jaina replied, and the honesty of her response surprised even herself. “I don’t think he does. I think he’s...trying to adjust. And I want to help.”

Sylvanas nodded slowly. “Do let me know, should you require another test subject. I would be curious to see what you could achieve,” she said.

“Wh—?”

“If you require information from the High Necromancer, I shall provide it,” Sylvanas continued, pausing as they reached the tower. Glancing up at the spire, she turned to Jaina. “It is my duty as their leader, is it not? To ease their burdens. I would like to help, if I can.”

Jaina blinked rapidly, then found herself nodding. It was the only thing she could think to do. “Y-yes, alright — I — thank you??”

A slow, curling smile spread across Sylvanas’ face. “You’re welcome. Until another time, Lady Proudmoore.”

#this got away from me YET AGAIN #anon #ask #fic drabble #sylvaina #sylvanas windrunner #jaina proudmoore #derek proudmoore #magic and vague lore things #can sylvanas really hear all the souls? who knows #i say she can #it's weird typing on my laptop again sobs #why are the keys so soft now #Anonymous

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 4 years

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y’know i love memes as much as anyone else on this hellsite and the internet in general. but one meme i can’t stand now, as well as a joke used by older comedians about ~kids today!!!! am i right???~ that i can’t stand now, is the one that’s like “all 10 year olds want today is an iphone or an ipad or a macbook for their birthday or christmas! all i got for my 10th birthday/christmas as a kid was a tennis racquet and a tether ball that hit me in the face! kids are so spoilt today! you better get an i-job to i-pay for your spoilt mac-ass!”

because like.... do you not understand that in today’s increasingly over-connected world, ipads and macbooks or other tablets/laptops are pretty much required school equipment now, if your 10yo kid’s primary/elementary etc school has a ~bring your own device~ policy for kids in years 4-6??? like obviously yes, some schools will provide students with laptop/tablet trolleys and stuff.... or also the government might have a program to roll out laptops/tablets to schools (like australia did under rudd and gillard).... that some schools will literally put “parents must get a reliable tablet computer or laptop computer for their child to use for assignments”. when it comes to high school, i imagine that they’ll need their own laptop/tablet the whole way through their time there, if there is no longer any school provided or limited school provided laptops/desktop computers/tablets.

that’s besides the point that laptops etc are even more so required now than ever before, after everyone was forced to do homeschooling because of covid??? so. practically. a kid asking for a macbook/ipad or other tablets/laptops for their birthday or christmas, isn’t such a bad idea for a present??? even if yeah. apple is overrated and overpriced to the max. but suck it up and pay for your child’s future education??? even it means getting a cheaper laptop or tablet for your kid.

all i can say on the above point is that yes. the idea of ~bring your own device~ policies does set many families back- especially those in/from lower income areas/backgrounds or single parent families... considering that a decent tablet will set you back at least $500 and a decent mini laptop is around the same.... but bigger and better laptops are around $1000 on sale (windows) or idek like $1,200 on an apple education pricing deal. like yeah. it’s a demarcation thing and also setting some people up to fail. and again, this has been made increasingly obvious during covid due to different families acces to buying laptops/tablets or other internet connection means. i also understand that these big ticket item purchases of tablets/laptops hits the hip pockets of everyone harder during the pandemic, especially if you’re struggling with debt like mortgage repayments or whatever while being made redundant or are being paid less while working from home.

okay. not to sound like a spoilt brat of a kid, but i got my first laptop, an i-book G4 for my 10th birthday in 2005. then almost 10 years later, i got a macbook for my 18th birthday (and for my HSC/end of high school exams) in 2013. yes, this is the macbook that i promptly fucked up two years later in 2015, by trying to encrypt the hard drive, since i was taking it to uni and it had all my internet passwords remembered on it along with my banking details. the same goes for my other windows laptop... where the hard drive just decided to fry itself like 4 months into me using it, along with the trackpad. and that was a $1,200 ASUS laptop (bought on sale) that i was using for uni. and then finally my little HP stream laptop’s keyboard shorted out halfway through a creative writing class (that was $500 and it only has a 28gb hard drive so it’s very light and good for transport).

but my point is, me having my own laptop (as opposed to using the family computer only) helped me immensely in my studies..... and they were literally fucking essential to me both in business college and uni. but they were also helpful in late high school, considering that 90% of my assignment work was expected to be typed out in microsoft word or powerpoint or excel (for maths and science). or for more creative projects, i was expected to use adobe photoshop and video editing software like imovie or adobe premiere pro (art/computer tech/drama/that weird year 7 subject i did called INTEL) and garageband/sibelius (for music). how on earth was i supposed to keep doing work on adobe photoshop or word etc at home if i didn’t have my own laptop to continue the work???

because as a final point, for me, literally by year 10 in 2011, NOT ONE of my assignments was expected to be handwritten (bar my actual exams or in class tests; also state tests/exams etc; or if it was a poster or visual art). if you dared to turn in something handwritten, the teacher and student interaction would be like the following example:

teacher to a kid whose handed in a handwritten assignment: did you not read the assessment outline? it said WORD PROCESSED WITH WORD! what is this handwritten thing? okay fine. i’ll take it this time. but read the outline next time, timothy!

timothy: *stammers out* s-sorry miss/s-sorry sir *stalks away from the teacher’s desk in embarrassment and shame*

the teacher, probs thinking to themself: weird that a kid thinks they can hand in something handwritten. silly, really.

the above scenario was the same for me in years 11 & 12. also, by year 9/2010, we were using the education management system moodle (and maybe early stage presi for online presentations) for both of our HSIE subjects (history and geography) and i think a couple of other subjects, during most lessons and especially for class work that involved group work/class discussions, via online discussion boards function. my year group was actually was actually one of the test year groups for the early models of moodle. so by the time i was in uni, i was a native to using moodle; so i could skip the “moodle help tutorial” subject portions on it in every class.

hell, for today, i wouldn’t be surprised if foreign language subject faculties in high schools are now using school subscription class accounts or something for duolingo or babbel. and today, kids are learning coding from like year 4 onwards, i think, on apps at school as part of their science & tech studies lesson portion of the day. how on fucking earth are kids meant to keep up with their class work progression on coding apps or whatever, at home, if they don’t have their own laptop/tablet??? ridiculous. how would kids fare today without their own laptop/tablet, if all of their classwork for homeschooling is on like google drive/cloud or whatever other open source drive/open source cloud software their school uses?? or any other apps that their school might use??? obviously we are seeing this play out in real time during the pandemic, world over, where if a child is in a single parent family or if their two parents don’t have adequate enough resources/have been fired or let go from their jobs/juggling working from home and homeschooling; then it’s hurting these kids likelihood of doing well with distance learning.

but yeah. my point is that if your kid is asking you for a laptop or a tablet (regardless of brand) for their birthday or christmas, maybe buy them one?? because you never know. it may be the very thing at the top of their student resource list for the following school year. and also. do you know what stops kids fighting over their access to the family computer/tablet to do their assessments etc??? buying them their own personal laptops or tablets. even if they do cost an arm and a fucking leg. get your heads out of your asses and help your own goddamned kids (or relatives if it’s a nephew/niece etc asking for one) like you’re supposed to.

okay. for phones. i’ll admit i wouldn’t like a 10 year old having their own phone, because of social media being so easy to access on them. but if you don’t allow them to use the app store and don’t allow them to download instagram/facebook et al..... and give them the phone solely for safety reasons, i think that’s fine?

i’ve had a phone since i was 10 years old. also not to sound awfully clichè, but i turned out okay??? i had to have a phone back in year 4/2005 due to safety and also family issues. do you know what my teachers did with it? locked it away in their desk til the end of the day. obvs they had to remind me to take it home sometimes (bc i did leave it behind at school in the desk a few times lmao) but yeah. i was alright. if a kid wants a phone..... maybe make a compromise and get the classic nokia 3310 or something?? like i obvs agree that kids as young as 10 defs don’t need a smartphone like an iphone or a samsung galaxy. but a rock solid and basic nokia 3310 or whatever with no wifi access??? that’s good enough imo.

#life #about me #shut up ilona

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thirsty-x1 · 5 years

Text

Teach Me How | Kim Yohan

Request:

Hello! Can I request for a yohan smut where he is a virgin and the reader is the more experienced one so he will come up to you bc he wants to lose his v card

↬ Pairing: Yohan x Reader

↬ Genre: Fluff, Smut

↬ Warnings: explicit language, masturbation, fingering, oral sex, protected sex, too much fluff that can melt your heart.

↬ Word Count: 4.7k

You were laying upside down in bed reading a book whilst Yohan was sitting down in front of your desk, the sound of his pencil scribbling on the paper filling the room. You both had regular studying meetings, it was a little habit you had developed after being friends for many years and recently neighbors as well, although they consisted more in just being next to each other and not talking. Besides, both being Music Majors, it was easier to talk about academic stuff and all that.

“Hey, question 5, the one about the style of the movements and who composed it, which answer did you pick?”

“Uh... I think Arcangelo Corelli.” He nodded and wrote it down immediately.

Another half an hour passed until he finally grabbed his stuff, a proud smile on his face. He always got so happy to finish all the homework... You simply felt exhausted. His body got up, stretched and threw himself on the bed next to you.

“What are you reading now?” His head sliding under your arms, the book you were holding almost slipping.

“A horror story.”

“Is it good?”

“Well, the writing is bad enough to call it scary.” He whispered a soft ‘meanie’ before laughing.

“Hey, y/n... Can I ask you something?”

“You are going to ask even if I say no.”

“Yeah, but still.” You nodded and he went on, his eyes seeming a little nervous. “You... Are you still seeing that last guy? The one from the party?”

“Hangyul? Uh, not really... Things weren’t going well. Why you ask?” Yohan rarely asked about your love life.

“Ah, you see... You know...” It seemed he was having a hard time trying to come up with whatever he was trying to say. “I’m a virgin.”

You stared at him for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. He got all serious to say that? The panicked look on his face was priceless.

“Yeah, I know that.”

“What? How?!”

“How could I not? You are my best friend since forever, you would have told me if you had sex sometime.” His cheeks blushed when you talked explicitly. “And also this! You get so shy when it comes to talk about anything that is sex related! Biology was a nightmare for you.”

“Ok, fine, I got the point, thank you. The thing is... I was wondering if... You could teach me?” He scratched his head and looked at anything else except you.

“You know that there is porn and articles on this, right? You can learn from there.” Why was he even asking you something like that? With technology it was pretty easy to access anywhere.

“No... First of all, I have watched porn and it’s awfully fake, second of all, I have already read articles. What I mean is... If you can teach me the real thing... You know, physically.”

Oh.

“Oh.” Had you ever been able to think of Yohan in a sexual way? Obviously not because if so, he wouldn’t be sitting on your bed fully dressed as of now. He was your best friend, the one that always helped you out with university, the one that got excited whenever he saw you in the crowd during his taekwondo matches, the one that giggled in a silly way whenever you two watched a drama.

“You don’t have to answer now! I just, wanted to know if you would be up for it... I don’t know why I said it, just forget it, ok? I, uh... Will be going now.” He got up and left in a flash.

You simply sat there, still analyzing the situation. Yohan, your very virgin friend, asked you take his v card. Did he mean it all the way? Like fucking and all or just a few things? You weren’t sure but the rest of the day you started seeing him from a different perspective. Sure, he was Friend Yohan™ but he could also be manly. You remembered his facial expressions when he was writing music, his body movements in taekwondo tournaments, the way he looked with a suit on...He was attractive as well and had a few relationships but often ended up being dumped because the girls just got bored, or that’s what he told you. Maybe... it was because of this?

As hours passed, you couldn’t take Yohan out of your mind. Small details seemed to appear that you never noticed consciously. His plump lips, broad shoulders, toned body. Soon you started to think about how he would look when he was close to cumming, how would his fingers feel inside of you, how his cock looked and what would he taste like, if he would moan or grunt or whimper or be quiet, your temperature rising each second that passed.

Still, fucking with friends... That isn’t something that turns out well. At least most of the times. It was risky, but you two had been friends for so long that maybe it wasn’t going to happen to you two. Of course not, besides it was just sex, just helping him out to understand how it worked and what to do, that’s it! You would be helping a friend and that is what best friends do, right? They help each other and that was what you were going to do.

y/n:

23: 46. I accept. I’ll help you out.

Ten minutes later, there was a soft knock on your door. You opened it, Yohan standing in front of you, staring straight to the floor, his fingers fidgeting.

“D-Did you really mean it?” Your heart warmed up at his soft voice.

“Yeah... You could have just answered the phone, you know?”

“Thought it was better in person. So... What do we do now?” His question surprised you, quite straightforward considering how nervous he looked.

“We could... Talk, first? And tomorrow uh... Are you free tomorrow?” It was your turn to get shy. It’s not like you had something prepared or knew where to start at all, plus the fact that this was your best friend made things a little bit different.

“Oh, yes, I’m free. Can I come in?” Eye contact was made and almost immediately both of your faces became red. You stepped aside, he came in, you both sat on the sofa, and silence filled the room. Yohan had a reason to be like that at least, but you... You were the experienced one, you should be guiding him, not acting as if it was your first time too. Decided, you changed your posture.

“Sex.” His eyes shoot out and stared at you, like a deer in headlights. “It’s important, it feels good, it’s relaxing, but if you do it the right way. You shouldn’t rush things just because you want to cum, not recommended to do weird things on the first time, communication is key...”

“Weird things? Like what?” Was he playing with you or did he really not know?

“Well, they aren’t weird things, but like, kinks. For example, uh, tying up someone or playing with wax, spanking or more extreme things, if you have no experience with that it can be a little dangerous for both parties.” You could almost see steam coming out of his ears.

“Ah, I see...”

Both of you continued to talk about the basics: hygiene, erogenous zones, myths and truths, orgasms, protection. He relaxed the more you talked and even made some questions that he had thought about: some you answered, some you googled together. It went smoother than what you expected. He listened and took everything seriously, a few times giggling over your expressions and stories.

“... That’s the number one reason why you should turn each other on previously. The whole experience can be awful if one of you isn’t in the mood for it. Don’t force it.”

“How do you do that?” Now he was asking for your experience.

“Ah... Making out is a good start. A hand over here, a hand over there, maybe some dry humping and foreplay, oral sex and such. Other things like time and place can have effects on the turn on too, like semi-public or things that make you feel some kind of adrenaline.” You explained calmly to which he nodded, his mouth opening a little and your eyes fixed on his lips. He seemed to notice, licking them quickly.

“Can we try? Making out, I mean. I haven’t done much of it so I might be pretty bad, but...” Again, he scratched his head as if to hide his embarrassment.

“Sure.” The reply came out without you really thinking about it. You got closer to him, caressing his left cheek. “Let’s go slow at first, just to try and then we move on, does that sound right?” He swallowed hard and nodded. So adorable.

His eyes closed slowly, waiting for you to make the first move. You had to hold back your smile before placing your lips on top of his, leaving a short peck before repeating the action, this time for a longer time, your lips molding to his perfectly. You got away, your heartbeat racing. He opened his eyes, a slightly dazed look on them, only to lean in and kiss you again, one of his hands going at your nape and pulling you closer. Your lips opened lightly, licking his and he panicked.

“I’m not good with tongue kisses...” His breathing was already a little irregular.

“I’m here to teach you, I’m not expecting you to be amazing at your first try, yes? Just open your mouth a tiny bit and we simply lick each others’ tongues, if it makes some kind of sense.”

He did what you said but also rushed forward, his teeth clacking against yours, making both of you laugh although he seemed frustrated. You tried again, taking the lead as your tongue slipped carefully past his lips until finding his, the warmth making both of you shudder. The kiss lasted longer, both knowing when to take breaks, he easing in and tasting you more, becoming more confident in his actions, but still looked uncomfortable.

“Is there anything wrong? Too fast?”

“It’s not that... The position is a little off, don’t you think?” He was right, your waist was hurting a little from stretching and turning to align to his body. You nodded and stood up before sitting on top of him, his eyes going wide again and freezing on the spot.

“This is a regular position, don’t get so surprised. Give me your hands.” You positioned them right above your hips and proceeded to put yours on his shoulders, your butt resting comfortably on his thighs but not on his crotch since you thought it might make him feel vulnerable at some given point.

The kissing went on and he seemed to enjoy it a lot more, his movements didn’t need your guidance as much as before, he took the initiative and even bit your lower lip playfully before asking with the sweetest smile if he did it right, to which you nodded before giving him a soft peck and shifting your body a little, a short gasp leaving his lips when you brushed against his hard on.

“I’m sorry, really, I just–!” His words went silent as you rolled your hips again, this time being more conscious about his reaction. You took in his facial expression: his eyes shut down, his swollen lips parting to let out heavy sighs come through, his cheeks painting a shade of dark red.

“Does it feel good?” There was no hesitation in his response, his strong hands gripping your hips as he raised his own. The touch was so desperate, so needy that it turned you on. You stopped him, the curiosity was too great for you to hold back. “Let me touch you.”

“Wha– Like seeing it?”

“I can do it without seeing ‘it’ if you feel more comfortable. I just don’t want you to cum in your pants this time.” He agreed before whimpering at your words.

“Why are you so raw to talk about that...” It didn’t sound like a complaint, but more like a plea. You smirked, undoing the restrictions on his pants, and spit a little on your hand before sliding it down until you hold his member, the temptation to get a sneak peek getting bigger but you tried to push it away to respect his wishes... But only feeling him was enough for you to imagine. His pre-cum made it easier, but also messier, and the moment he felt your fingers around him, he bucked his hips. You stroked him slowly, his moans muffled by his own hands covering his face.

“Look at me.” Your whisper was low and he shook his head. “Please, Yohan, let me see your face.” The walls were destroyed as he uncovered his expression, teary eyed and hazy, a pleased sigh leaving your lips this time.

“S-Stop...” Heavy breathing, strained voice, sweat dripping down his neck. He was about to finish, the view was glorious and you had a first row seat to admire it. Your thumb slid a few times over his tip before feeling a hot spurt cover your hand. “I warned you.”

You took off your hand and saw the consistent white fluid. You gave it a lick and Yohan almost fainted. It was somewhere in between bitter and sweet, not weird, pretty much like any other, and slightly sticky. Not disgusting but not quite a dessert.

“Does it taste awful?” You laughed at his expression, staring at it as if it were some kind of inhuman thing.

“Not really. It tastes sweet, like ice cream. Did you eat anything like that for the last few days?.” Maybe you could prank him a bit.

“What? That’s not what I’ve heard it tastes like...” Now there was interest instead of repulsion.

“Have some. C’mon, it’s not that big of a deal.” He looked at you, then back at your fingers and so on until he closed his lips around them, his tongue against your fingertips making you feel some kind of way. The moment his taste buds felt the savor, he got away and acted as if he was going to vomit.

“It’s awful! How could you do that to me.”

“It came out of you, it’s not that weird.” You got up to clean your hand whilst he complained about the stickiness and buttoned his pants again.

“Yeah well there are many things that come out of my body but I don’t go around putting them in my mouth.”

“Stop complaining, now think about it twice if you want to make someone swallow that.” When you came back, he was covering his crotch and seemed anxious to go back to his apartment. “Go and clean yourself, we will meet tomorrow and see what we can make.”

“But I didn’t do anything to you.” You let out a small ‘huh?’ before understanding, but listening to him was more entertaining. “Y-You know, I didn’t make you c... that.”

“Cum.” He sighed and flipped their hands around before they went back to their original position. “It’s fine, maybe tomorrow.”

“T-Tomorrow?”

“Unless you don’t want to try anything else which would be totally fine, don’t be nervous.”

“I don’t– d-don’t get nervous.” An embarrassed giggle came out of his lips realizing his failure. “Fine. Tomorrow.”

And he left, walking funnily. And you couldn’t help but to touch yourself afterwards, the whole experience replaying in your memory being way more stimulating than what it really was.

‘Tomorrow’ sure came fast enough, with you already on Yohan’s lap making out, this time on his sofa. There was not nearly as much hesitation as the day before: his hands went to your hips instinctively, sometimes they would shakily move down before changing their mind and going back to the first position. It was cute. You grabbed his hands and slid them underneath your shirt until they reached your breasts, his breathing hitching up as he softly squeezed them, feeling them fully before getting away and ask you with pleading eyes to let him remove the clothing between. You nodded and he did, stare fixed on the lacy bra before you unhooked it and showed them to him, the way he examined them making you feel almost shy despite being the experienced one. Again, trembling hands massaged them, the cold contact making your nipples erect, and soon you could feel him getting hard, a smile on your lips as you pulled away, kneeling between his legs.

“W-Wait...”

“Has anyone ever sucked you off?” He panicked even more, blushed cheeks and you were lost as to which of all the previous events provoked it.

“No... But what if, you know...”

“What?”

“What if...” He looked away, trying to hide his facial expression. “What if you don’t like it?”

“First, it’s simply a cock.” You started speaking as you were undoing his belt, unzipping his pants. “And second, all I want is to make you feel good.”

He seemed to relax to your words and didn’t put as much resistance as before but still wouldn’t look. You asked him to stand up and he obeyed, covering his face as you pulled both his pants and underwear together, his dick springing out. Maybe you weren’t fully ready to see your best friend’s lower part, but there was no way you could complain. It simply looked like it had the perfect measurement for everything: slightly thicker than most of the ones you had seen, quite longer than the average, his pinkish tip licking pre-cum, soft veins running alongside his shaft. The only word that came to your mind was cute, but that would probably hurt his pride, it often did to most of guys even if it was a compliment.

You decided to not say anything and simply started touching him before sliding you tongue on his length, his lips parting open slightly. Saliva quickly spreading, your hand working on the base as you took him inside your mouth, starting to bob your head and take him deeper, seeing his reactions to try and guess what feels better for him. Each time you ran your tongue on his tip, his hips slightly bucked up, not hard to guess then. You kept doing it, your hands paying attention to the rest of his length, and then you felt his on your head. Was he going to take control? You prepared your throat just in case, trying to control your muscles but nothing happened besides him just stroking your hair, as if patting your head for doing a good job, melting you completely.

“Can you cum for me, Yohan?” The mention of his name caught him off guard, a small whimper escaping his lips as he looked down to you, the view becoming too much, a quick nod giving you confidence as you felt his hardness pulsating against your tongue, but he pulled out and simply covered himself as he came untouched on his hand, taking you by surprise.

“It tastes awful, I’m not going to make you go through that again.” Your heart fluttered at his pureness. Even if he was too lost in his own pleasure, you still remained as his top priority. He stared at you, his eyes wandering until he saw that you still had your breasts out, his ears flushing as if he remembered what was happening just a few minutes ago and passed you your shirt, forgetting the liquid it was on his hand. “Oh god, sorry, wait, I’ll bring you something.”

You tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary, that you could simply get one from your apartment but he was gone quick, pulling up his clothes whilst becoming embarrassed again. You couldn’t help but to laugh as you picked your bra and put it on, waiting for him to come back, which happened just a few seconds later with your favorite hoodie of his. He threw it to you, his perfume hitting you all at once and put it on while mumbling a small ‘thank you’. You got up to leave but he grabbed your wrist.

“Are you going already? I want to try something.”

“Oh? Ah, I thought you were going to be tired since you just...” He cut you off before you could continue.

“Not on me, but on you.” Was he filled with surprises today? “You made me c-cum twice now... I should at least to pay back, right? Teach me how to... well... that...” Seeing your confused expression, he tried to be clearer. “O-Oral...”

He took your hand and took you to his room: there were a few candles, giving off a warm scent and light, and sheets you had never seen on his bed before. Everything looked so different but still made you feel comfortable and as if it were your own place.

“You prepared all this?”

“Yeah, I remembered you saying that it’s better if everything is in a comfortable place, so...” He grabbed you by your waist and his puppy eyes seemed so hopeful. You sighed and took off your lower clothes but kept his hoodie on.

“Come here.” You laid back on his bed and he also did, right next to you. “Remember I told you that both should feel on the same mood? Always keep that in mind.”

His hands slid up and down your legs, the soft brush of his fingertips on your skin making you shiver. You wondered if he was listening to you, seeming so enhanced in playing with your thighs as you kept talking, suddenly shutting up as he brushed your core, a sly smirk on his lips for the first time.

“You are already wet.” Where did that confidence even came from? His fingers applying more pressure, rubbing you through your underwear, damping it within seconds. His head turned to you, his lips on yours without any warning as he slithered his hands under your panties, a gasp coming out of both of you when he made direct contact with your wetness. Long and slow motions were traced, your body becoming more and more sensitive to his touch.

He went down, stopping his motions only to remove the piece of clothing in-between and spread your legs wide before admiring you whole. The turn of events and roles having you as the shy one. His inexperienced fingers explored your insides as he slipped one inside of you, adding a second one when he felt it right.

“Does that feel good?” Your head was spinning, the slow movements making you feel dizzy. “Please, tell me.”

“Yes... You can press against the upper part or make them go in and out.” Right, you had to teach him, but his eagerness made it hard for you to focus.

You gave him a few instructions and corrected him if he went too rough or awkward, although there wasn’t much that you had to work on, just details. He mumbled out something before slipping out his fingers and try licking a stripe along your folds that made you want to arch your back. You suggested him to focus on your clit to which he complied but instead of licking it like you had expected, he closed his lips around it and slightly sucked in. His tongue explored every centimeter, every small part as his fingers came back to be inside of you, everything feeling stronger each time to the point where you let pass small things involuntarily because they were replaced with greater pleasure, until you locked your fingers in his hair, coming with small spasms and he finally stopped.

“Did I do well?” He looked so anxious, licking his lips over and over as he stared up to you.

“You are... really good at this...” Proud smile on his face as he got up.

“I investigated quite a lot on this particular part.” A soft giggle was heard around the room as he took off his shirt, muttering how sweaty he felt. Maybe it was because of seeing his body, noticing the new tent on his pants or because of your recent orgasm, but the words blurted out, making Yohan turn around quickly. “W-What?”

“Fuck me.”

He froze on the spot. Sure, you two had talked about taking things slow and experiencing one thing at the time, but now you just needed to feel him, even if it was just for a few minutes.

“But I-I might not last long...”

“I just... Please, I need it.”

What could he do if you were begging to him like that, wearing his clothes, your look gazing him and your legs completely spread while being on his bed? Nervousness ran through his veins but the desire was too much. He opened one of his drawers on the bedside table and pulled out a condom, undressing and rolling it on his member before hovering over you, hands slightly trembling. You guide his hardness until it slips inside of you, his eyes closing at the feeling, your arms hugging him as he filled you.

“How does it feel?” Your whisper on his ear sends shivers down his spine, his muscles tensing and relaxing as if he is trying to hold back.

“Good... Too good...”

His forehead touched yours, and you got to admire each one of his facial features. One of your hands softly caressing his cheek, making him lean against your touch before kissing you, tasting yourself on his lips, his hips starting to move. He was a little clumsy, not being able to find his own rhythm, being too close too many times but he was thankful it was you the one he gave his first time to. He knew it wasn’t such a big thing, but he still felt like right there was where he belonged.

Not too long after, he simply couldn’t hold back, his thrusts becoming erratic as he enjoyed the sensation of you clenching on him and your legs hugging him to push him deeper, one of his hands rubbing your clit, the over sensitivity pushing you over the edge as you moaned his name, his second orgasm hitting him and his weight dropping slightly on top of you. He stayed like that for a while, your hands playing with his hair and his head resting on your chest, your breathing uneven.

“Thank you.” Astonishment crossed his face when he listened those words coming from you.

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” His soft giggling making you smile.

“What I meant is that you did really well, you treated me in a way that I just wanted to thank you for.” Puppy eyes yet again, you could almost picture a wagging tail behind him.

“I still have a lot to improve. Will you keep teaching me?” The innocent tone in his voice made your whole face acquire a red shade.

“S-Shut up...” He just laughed and pulled out of you, throwing the used condom. “Can I have a shower here?” Yohan nodded as he handed you a towel.

Under the steam you thought for a long time about everything that had happened that night. Maybe nothing would change, at least in the best scenario. Just a minute ago it seemed like there was no awkwardness, so maybe, just maybe, it could work out. A smile spread on your face remembering his giggles and each one of his groans. When you got out of the shower, wearing his hoodie again and a pair of boxers he had left next to the towel, you saw him sitting on his bed with the TV on.

“Want to re-watch this drama?”

As you cuddled next to him and both laughed at the scenes displaying, you thought everything was fine, and you could definitely keep teaching each other, at least for a bit longer.

I loved writing this so much,,, Yohan being a shy baby is what I live for. Maybe this was too soft *sobs*

~Nani

unedited

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nad-zeta · 4 years

Text

Matchup Duo 💎

HOWDY, not sure if matchups for ikeseng are open but here i go anyway?¿ ´･ᴗ･`

-I’m a Leo, and a combination of ENFP/ENTP (if that helps with characterization), but I’m becoming more ambivert as the days go by. But I still act like a crackhead (making up new words, making random sound effects out of boredom and roasting people playfully, having airhead moments, for examples) and a lot of people irl do get put off at how “obnoxious” I can get, but I do know when to “flip the switch” and become serious/quiet.

-I have really low standards for humor idk I laugh at my own jokes it’s honestly astounding, but cursed memes/images are somethin else💀 Dark jokes are always open in my ally👀

-Ironically, I canNOT stand horror, I will legit be so paranoid or freaked out and start overthinking and just cry and DIE—

I’m very open, almost TOO open, but ask me literally anything and I’ll usually tell everyone my honest opinions/thoughts, but I know how to deliver words tactfully and articulately. Debating, (public) speaking, writing, and understanding concepts are my strong suits; likewise I suck ass at math (I have no idea how I ended up in Calc BC ap, I just— 😭)

-Speaking of writing, I write poems whenever I feel like it, I have a whole collection HAH. My love of expressing comes from my tendency to play the devil’s advocate in interpreting and arguing for almost all perspectives in topics. So you can probably guess how I don’t get offended really easily and welcome both playful and serious banter (despite the crackhead persona, I’m very observant of people and their values expressed and how they tick, so I know when to back off especially when they get uncomfortable with my aggressive debating/personality). Need advice? I can use what I’ve gathered from different people and help anyone in their particular situations.

-And speaking of expression, I love fashion and makeup! I love being able to express myself through use of presentation and have fun while doing it! hehe (k-fashion, asian beauty 👀) HECK YEAH I’M DOWN FOR SHOPPING—

-I like to dance yeehaw, and I was on a competitive dance team (well that was before when the corona hit the milly rock a little TOO hard and put all the dancers out of commission😔🤝😭) I’ve also been in my own highschool’s dance club for 4 years!!

-I’m a console gamer :0 Big fan of winding down with video games, but books are the best if games aren’t an option.

-Music is a huge part of my life; I played the flute and the viola for years before and been surrounded by music through dancing as well; while I’ve been in a choir before, my vocals aren’t stellar oof, but at least I’m not tone-deaf.

-Can’t cook to save a life ooooof, that’s where my airheadness REALLY kicks in. I literally burn myself making instant :>

-I’m not phased by sexual innuendos/conversations/kinks because I see them objectively as unique characteristics of every person, but I’ll crack up at a sex joke or a cringe flirt line with friends. And like I’ve said, I’ll share them myself without objection if ANYONE asks. But the moment someone actually TRIES to make a move on me (like what!!¡¿), I’ll first play it casual but then bolt for the door because it’s hard for me to actually imagine that ANY guy would see me in a romantic light LOL but i’d get used to the advances quick and if it’s someone i liked back, i’d tease them the same or raise up the antics ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Hi, there, dear! <3 Can I just say u sound like a super cool person! Anyway here is your matchup dear, I hope you enjoy it! And thanks for waiting soooooooooo long! ^_^

So I match you with………… Masamune

Selfie Match up

The first time this boi meets you he is ecstatic, finally someone fun to liven up this boring place.

You scream fun and outgoing

Masamune is already imagining all the fun adventures the two of you can go on and he hasn’t even talked to you yet!

He is absolutely captivated by those big dark brown eyes.

Those big bright intelligent eyes are all telling of the playful mischief the two of you could get up to together.

He absolutely loses himself in your deep warm, captivating eyes, they remind him of home, they are deep and rich like the soil of his home town, soft and comforting, while busting with endless life and energy

HE is absolutely dazzled by the way your soft strands of earthy hair moved so freely in the wind. It low key reminds him of his own wild free personality

If he ever had to imagine his perfect woman you would be it.

You have the same vibe as playful kitten having endless hours of fun, and boy oh boy all Masa wants to do is join in.

He wishes nothing more than to boop your cute nose

His brain goes haywire, all he wants to do is kiss those soft lips of yours

Masamune continues to eye you from the corner of the council room. Gosh if love at first sight did exist than this would describe his exact feelings towards you.

Match up part

You were named as the new princess of the Oda forces and was forced to sit through the rest of the boring war council. It had been 30 minutes in, and you were already losing your mind from boredom, that is when the one-eyed dragon passed you note from across the table. You giggled a little at the joke and wrote back on of your own. The two of you passed notes back and forth, every joke or remark you read made you want to break out in laughter. As the council progressed, the two of you got rowdier and rowdier and the both of you were now making strange noises. You were making all sorts of weird sound effects, and Masamune was howling in laughter. TBH they were so funny even Nobunaga couldn’t help but laugh. Everyone was having a good time except Hideyoshi “Okay that’s the third time the two of you have disturbed the council”. Hideyoshi started lecturing you and Masamune about not disturbing the council any further when Nobunaga announced that the council was over. The two of you couldn’t help but laugh in victory. The two of you continued your conversation in which you were playfully roasting each other. Masamune was right; you really were going to be a lot of fun.

Masa love chatting and spending time with you and honestly, he loved the fact that you understood and laughed at all his jokes. What he loves the most is times just before your about to deliver the punch line to a joke, but you burst out laughing for 20 minutes before you can even get it out. And once you finally coke out the punchline between laughs, you continue to giggle at your hilarious sense of humour for another solid 30 minutes. Masamune can’t help but laugh at you laughing at yourself. When the two of you goofballs are around its always a fun time, but beware of some occasional dark humour i.e. the two of you got scolded one day for joking about some dark topics in front of the kids *cough* Mitsunari *cough*

The first night you arrived, and Masamune barged into your room, and Masamune being Masamune, ignored any boundaries of personal space and started to page through one of your books that were laying on your writing desk. It was your fashion portfolio that caught his eye. He loves all the different looks and the way the colours and patterns seemed to complement each other. You had explained to him that you were heavily into fashion and makeup and considered it as part of your self-expression. Masamune smiled his big cat-like smile at you asking if you wanted to meet up with him tomorrow. You honestly didn’t have anything better to do, so you agreed.

You and Masamune spent hours in the market looking at different fabrics, clothes and makeup products. Everything was so different in the past. After spending the whole day shopping your grab both of Masamune’s hands in your, you beam up at his with the brightest smile stating that you had a fun idea. Masa is pretty much keen for anything, so he goes along with your strange idea. The two of you make your way back to his manor. And that is when the two of you hold a fashion show, to show off your new clothes and accessories the two of you bought. It was a lighthearted fun game, filled with banter and giggles. It had actually become somewhat of a tradition now for the two of you to do this little fashion shows in his room after a long day of shopping. You would always bust out laughing at the strange poses Masamune would do.

Another fun activity the two of you have adopted is poetry slams. Both of you would spend the week writing your best poems and then present them to each other. Just like the fashion shows, these evenings are also always filled to the brim with laugher and banter. The two of you had gotten to know each other fairly well like this, as sometimes the theme of the poems would be dark and depressing, and after the two of you would discuss the emotions behind it. U guys would in those cases always be there for each other lending a friendly ear to listen to the others problems.

Needless to say at this point, Masamune was head over heels for you and somewhere in between the fun poetry slams and fashion shows, his flirty jokes stopped being jokes. He was serious about you. One night he actually kissed you, you were honestly so shook, you ran, you legit sprinted away. Little did you know the tiger was on your heel running after you. He caught you and tacked you to the ground. The 30 second run actually gave you time to sort your feelings, as you too had realized that you had also fallen for the one-eyed dragon. He stared into your eyes questioningly, and that’s when you snaked your hands behind his neck and pulled him down to return the kiss.

The two of you made such a sweet couple. After work, Masamune would always be on the hunt for his kitten to spend time with you. He was super shocked when he heard singing coming from the kitchen. He snuck up to the kitchen and peeked inside. He had to chuckle when he saw you singing your heart out and dancing like nobody was watching. He never knew you could sing and dance like that, he watched you for a while utterly awestruck by you. He was pulled out of his reverie when he smelt something burning and saw a cloud of smoke coming from the oven. You panicked at seeing the smoke and swiftly opened the oven. You didn’t even think when you took the baked, well-burnt goods out the oven without mitts or a cloth. You had legit burnt your hands to a crisp.

Masamune rushed to your side to evaluate the damage. He got a bag and filled it with ice, putting it on your burnt hands. He then proceeded to rub some medicine on the burns and wrap your hands “Best leave the cooking to me from now on Kitten”. He then took over from where you left off, making you the best meal you had ever tasted. You sat on the kitchen counter to keep him company. The burnt buns and your burnt hands were long forgotten, as the two of you were laughing and chatting away.

Now, whenever Masamune cooked, you would sit in the kitchen with him and keep him company. The two of you would laugh and dance together in the kitchen. It was always so much fun spending time with him, you especially love it when he sings in his most false off-key voice it is honestly hilarious. You couldn’t help but think he complimented you perfectly. He could cook when you couldn’t even make toast successfully, and you could sing beautifully, while he sounded like some cat in pain.

Another thing Masa absolutely loves, is to sit and listen to you play the flute or viola. The soothing music and the amount of love and emotion you pack into the songs as you play, washes away all the stress and tiredness from his day. He could sit four hours and hours just enchanted by the sound of your music. Even more so if you sing along to the song, you are playing. He loves hearing your beautiful voice. This boy will legit drag you to sit in his lap and nuzzle and kiss you until you agree to play or sing him a song.

Masamune is always by your side supporting you and showering you with love. Whenever you get sad or insecure, Masamune is always there to lighten the mood. Like one time, some maids pissed you off. “ why is my kitten so angry today” Masamune literally came up to you and pinched your cheeks, he then squished your face “Common lemi see that beautiful smile.” When you still had a grumpy expression, he pulled you up and started spontaneously dancing. You couldn’t help but smile at the goofball and join in. Soon your big wide fast movements slowed down, and Masamune pulled you into his arms by your waist. He then dropped his head down and rested it in the crook of your neck. You honestly love quite moments like this just slow dancing in your lover’s arms. He would ask you about your day and would tighten his hold on you, enveloping you in a warm embrace, while you talk out all your frustrations of the day. After he would nibble on your ear whispering how much he loves and adores you.

Masa is like your fun knight in shining armour whether it is comforting you and helping you get to sleep after hearing some crazy scary ghost stories or spending hours upon hours bantering with you while you playfully insult each other, He is always there for you, loving you from the moment the sun rises till the moment it sets. He has truly met his match with you and never has in his life been happier, or laughed so much. The two of you can always be found snuggled together with Masa’s lil tiger cub in the futon after a long day of laughs, fun and adventures

Perhaps it truly was love at first sight after all

Other potential matches…………….Mitsuhide

Hope you enjoyed it, love! and I hope you are staying safe and well🍭 @smol-vy

#ikesen masamune #masamune date #ikemen sengoku masamune #masamune matchup #ikesen matchup #match ups #ikesen selfie matchup #selfie matchup #selfie match-up #submission

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cleverbroadwayurl · 6 years

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Some AUs that I Love

Okay so I made a giant list of AUs, prompts, and other things that I love so that you guys could reblog/request/get inspiration from them! I know some are really similar, but honestly that just means I really love that trope! Please feel free to reblog these and use them for your own purposes! I’ll update this list as time goes on, I’m sure, as I’ve had a running list for a long time that was just on my phone. I also don’t own any of these (besides 152 and 196).

it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost

I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria

it’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay

The guy with the bibles on the quad has cornered me and is screaming about hell, please rescue me

You’re the only one who actually responded to the desperate message I sent to the whole class about needing the notes

'i ordered a pumpkin spice latte at starbucks and you made a heart with the foam and i decided to drink it here so i can smile at you some more’ au

you walked here in a blizzard to get your hot chocolate but you forgot your wallet at home, here, let me buy your drink for you

we’re at the mall when there’s a severe weather warning over the loudspeakers, guess we’re spending the night here

“I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I’m going to stuff it down your throat” AU

“You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks” AU

“You have just witnessed me cry over the ending to my favorite game before class began please don’t ever tell anyone about this.”

“I’ve never talked to you before but the teacher just used us as an example for a scenario where we are married.”

“I’m exhausted, feverish, and hacking up a lung, and the student health center’s first suggestion was pregnancy, can you help me get to the ER in town” AU

“I know that this probably isn’t a good idea but it’s included in the meal plan and I’m stressed out, so I keep hitting the ice cream sundae bar in the buffet style dining hall at least a couple times a week” AU

bonding solely via eye contact over that annoying person on our plane that we’re both slowly becoming more and more exasperated about au

you fell asleep and i started making funny faces at your kid to keep them amused and the steward mistook us for a couple au

actually, any mistaken for a couple au

having to SHARE A LIVING SPACE FOR ARBITRARY FIC REASONS. having to see each other in their pajamas first thing in the morning, messy haired, drowsy eyed and soft faced. going from “you can have the bathroom first” to brushing their teeth beside each other and feeling like this closeness has always existed (at the same time, painfully aware that it won’t always).

bed sharing. :^) we all pretend we’re bigger than this but we are not.

'room mate has a nightmare and doesn’t want to sit alone at night’ au

'room mate gets sick and needs tissues and cough sweets and soup’ au

ok but a ‘your apartment is next to/above mine and i can hear you and your partner dancing and singing and the bed moving and you two laughing and talking in hussed tones and it won’t let me sleep so i bitch about it to you 24/7 and one day it stops and one day turns to one week and then months and i haven’t seen you smile in forever please let me in, i’ve been knocking for ten minutes’ au.

Don’t tell anyone you saw me crying AU

did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

I’m calling to cancel our date because I’m actually in the ER right now, sorry. …I mean, sure, I guess you can come down here, but… okay…

You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole

'i’m having a minor breakdown in the middle of bed bath and beyond and you’re a bewildered shopper who wants to buy plates but also to make sure i’m okay bc im wailing a little bit in the kitchenware section’ au

“I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”

“You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”

“We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs”

“You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious”

It’s like 3AM and my roommate locked me out of the house and I forgot my keys and I’m really drunk pls take pity on me and let me crash at your place for the night o’ neighbor of mine AU

The walls in this apartment building are really thin and I can hear you having mental breakdowns all the time are you okay? AU

“I barely know you but my boyfriend just broke up with me and you heard me crying so you brought over ice cream and movies” AU

I was in a hurry and I ran into you outside the coffee shop while you were carrying two lattes and it turns out they were both for you except that now you’re wearing them I’m so sorry

‘i offer you my bed to sleep in bc our respective roommates are getting it on in your room and take the sofa to sleep on only i wake up back in my bed with your tiny body wrapped around me and damn me if it isn’t the cutest thing i’ve ever seen’ au

You passed out in my car because of strong medication and now I have to figure out how to get you home and avoid taking a picture of your cute sleeping face.”

“Hi so i know we haven’t talked before but we have French Literature together and i noticed you’ve been gone and since we’re on the same dormitory floor i thought i’d stop by and give you my really thorough notes and oh wow you’re rEALLY sick are you ok?”

you look so good and so many people are trying to pick you up and I can only sit in the corner and seethe, and now people are giving me concerned looks

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…

I’m worried about your coffee dependency

“My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

meeting while waiting for hours on end in the emergency room au

‘i’m pretending to be ur bff bc u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u’ AU

“We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU

“we work at the same office and never really interacted but suddenly we’ve been taken hostage” AU

“at a concert and you kinda saved me from being trampled” AU

“can i borrow your blanket? i need to cry.” AU

‘im really sorry i keep staring but i dreamed about you horribly dying last night and i just wanted to make sure you dont spontaneously combust’

‘i drew you a mathematical heart curve for valentine’s day u nerd’

“I’m a waiter/waitress and you always sit in my section. I really like you and i thought you liked me back until you walked in here with a date, w h o o p s would you look at that I keep spilling stuff on them” au

Another waiter/waitress one: “You always come to this place and never talk much, but now these two assholes are harassing me and you step in and defend me” au

“My friends dared me to go on this rollercoaster but now that we’re at the top it looks way too scary and hellO hot person sitting next to me (careful i might puke)” au

“My significant other just broke up with me and I impulse bought like 5 pizzas. Can you help me eat them and make me feel less like shit?” AU

“You’re a store clerk and oh shit I just spotted my ex please let me hide behind your desk-thing” AU

"This has been a very bad week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food at the supermarket” AU

“You crashed into me on your bicycle but I’m actually okay, you on the other hand look like you need some first aid” au

“this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a huge fucking spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au

“it’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au

“we’ve been pen pals for like hella months and we finally decided to meet up and damn your cute, also did you break up with your jerk bf/gf yet?” au

“i was out in public and had an anxiety attack and you left your friends to give me some chocolate and talk me through it, so tysm” au

“idk you but you were getting hit on in public and you look super uncomfortable so i walked over and pretended to be your bf/gf, but hey while we’re at it, do you wanna go get some food?” au

You and I ride the same bus home every day but never talk but then you fell asleep and sorry to wake you up (you look really cute in your sleep) but it’s your stop next

it’s exam week and i run a coffee shop near the campus and you walked right into my glass door i’m laughing so hard oh my god

you started screaming bloody murder and i could hear you from my apartment and i thought something was horribly wrong but it turned out to be just a spider. and after i squashed it with a slipper you coerced me into being your spider-savior

“you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die” au

“you fell asleep on my shoulder on the plane ride and i would ask you to move but you look so comfy and adorable when you sleep. also you smell really good and the feeling of your breath on my skin is somewhat relaxing, maybe we can go out to lunch in this shitty airport when you wake up?” au

“i’m a quiktrip worker and whenever I work a night shift, you always arrive and buy like 3 cans of redbull and you look exhausted, do you need some help? are you okay?” au

“i catch you at the bus terminal shivering your ass off because it’s 30 degrees and for some godforsaken reason you’re wearing a short sleeve t shirt, so out of pity i lend you my hoodie and you look so surprised it’s the cutest thing i’ve ever seen, setting aside the fact that you’re a goddamn idiot, do you want to get sick?” au

(cont.) “you look so sad and cold that i just tell you to keep my hoodie b/c you obviously need it more than i do. a week later i see you at a coffee shop/book store/etc. and you’re wearing my hoodie which you look so fucking tiny and cute in, and you just saw me and you look super embarrassed; you offer me it back but i tell you it suits you more and we end up talking and i buy you a drink” au

i tried to call a crisis hotline but got one number off and started ranting for 10 minutes before you got to speak and tell me i got the wrong number but now you’re worried about me and telling me not to hang up

Character A has been working at a retail store during the night/early morning of Black Friday and is so tired, but they need to stay awake so that they can drive home. Character A stops at Character B’s small coffee shop—which opened early in case people came in at 4am—and Character A accidentally falls asleep in a very comfortable chair while waiting on their coffee. Character B lets them sleep and even gets a blanket out of the back room to cover Character A

You’ve been missing for 5 months and suddenly you turn up at my doorstep with a huge scar across your face, looking more grim than when you left and won’t talk about what happened.

You usually only order hot chocolate and yet today you’re ordering something with six shots of espresso, are you okay??? Are you gonna die???

I just took a super dangerous job and you’re trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money

You always bring your dates here to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone…you okay mate?

We are trapped in a bank during a robbery

I saw you sleeping on the couch in the lounge in the morning, but now it’s like 5 pm and you’re still here. Are you okay?

I don’t know how we ended up having to sit next to each other on a roller coaster ride—sorry I fell against you and grabbed your hand a couple times

“You’re so small”

“I can’t breathe”

“Fight me”

“Whose head do I have to rip off?”

“Don’t you ever fucking touch them again”

Found the other in an alleyway under the influence of drugs/alcohol and brought them home

“Why am I your emergency contact?”

“Wait, you actually stayed the night?”

“If he’s going to treat you like shit, I’m gong to kick his ass.”

“I just want to cuddle and watch friends.

“I want my best friend back”

“If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”

“Fuck…I feel like I’ve been hit by a car”

“Who gave you that black eye?!”

“Are you drunk?”

“You got her pregnant?! What were you thinking?”

“It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”

“We should get you to a hospital.”

I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waiter please help me

just a game? jUST A GAME????? FUCK YOU I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN

“Please don’t touch me”

“Does he know about the baby?”

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“Game’s over son of a bitch! Tell me where she is!”

“Look at me—just breathe, okay?”

“Shit, are you bleeding?”

“You haven’t touched your food. What’s going on?”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“That guy at the bar keeps staring at you.”

“You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“Do you want to stay over tonight?”

“Every guy you date is a total jerk and I have to watch you get heartbroken over and over again because you can’t see that I love you!”

We were snuggling in our underwear when my roommate came home early from vacation now you have to try and sneak down the fire escape while I distract them with really terrible small talk

I don’t really know you but I noticed that this creep has been trying to chat you up even though you’ve already turned him down, so I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend until they leave you alone

It’s 2 am, we’re standing outside of our apartment building because someone pulled the fire alarm, and you look cold and unprepared, do you want to share my blanket?

We share a class at university and you forgot your notebook under your desk but luckily your phone number’s written inside PS: your doodles are pretty cool

I got stood up on a date and you were just grabbing dinner—shit my ex is here, sit down and pretend to laugh at something I said attractive stranger

Our flats are opposite each other and your kitchen window faces my kitchen so we always see each other making coffee at 3am.

Imagine you’ve been stood up by your douche of a boyfriend on date night and the waitress keeps asking if you’re ready to order but you keep asking for more time hoping that he’s just late. People are starting to look at you with those apologetic looks like they now and you start to feel worse and worse about the whole situation but as you decide to just get up and leave, this boy you’ve never seen sits down explaining loudly “Sorry, I’m so late, traffic is crazy right now.” He quietly adds “I’m [name]. Just go with it, yeah? Whoever didn’t bother to show up is a dick.” And so you go with it because he’s sweet and trying to save you (and plus he’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen) and as you’re leaving the restaurant after the best non-planned date ever, he asks you out for real this time.

I’ve been texting my friend for about a week now and they don’t reply but turns out I was texting a random person and there was some deep personal stuff I sent oh my god why are they calling me now (+bonus if the person calls at 2am)

“Look I don’t mean to pry but you’ve been wearing the same outfit for three days and I just want to check that you’ve slept?” “Okay obviously not because you just passed out in the hallway holy shit what do I do?”

You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping something into my drink

You’re the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished

I come to this café pretty much every day after work and by now you know my order by heart and even wave at me when I come in

I brought you to my friend’s wedding as my plus one and it was really fun and all but now it’s the end of the night and we’re sitting alone together at the reception and all these twinkle lights and flowers everywhere are causing a hell of a lot of romantic tension between us and ohhhhhhhhh

We were the only two to show up to class because it was cancelled but stay inside to finish work and ‘Hey, are you good at math?’

You’re my neighbor who got drunk and thought this was your apartment but I can’t just send you back home when you keep crying and venting about all of these awful things happening to you

I’m always terrified no matter how many times someone draws my blood. And even though you don’t need to be there when the guy comes in to take it you always stay with me and talk to me to calm me down and hold my hand

There’s this creepy person asking me out over text and could you pretend to be my significant other?

“How much did you drink?”

I’m a little drunk and I tried to call my ex back and I typed in your number and you had to hear a long emotional rant ohmygod I’m mortified but you left me a really sweet voicemail aw

The coffee machine stopped working and you’re cramming for finals please don’t cry

I accidentally gave you the wrong dosage of your medication and now we’d better get to the hospital before you pass out and possibly die

Lady and the Tramp AU

“The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???”

“It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious and I think I love you???” AU.

We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice cream and maybe we should eat it together?

“You’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee”

You’re my roommate who’s super cute and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you.

"We work together and I stayed after a couple minutes and I saw you on the intercom pretending you were at the Hollywood Bowl with Beyoncé and not to be weird but you're adorable ??"

“It’s our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re the only ones at the ceremony who are single”

“I’m sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad”

“I’m a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile”

“You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU.

“I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?”

“I’m a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared” AU.

“I lied and said I could speak a different language to impress my crush but now he wants me to tutor him so I need to become fluent in Mandarin in 3 days HELP”

“I’m taking this Literature class to fill a Gen Ed, and for the love of God I can’t figure out this dumb poem. Here, you’re an English Major, please help me write this stupid paper” au

“I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be”

“I think I picked up your coffee by mistake”

“I want my best friend back”

“I’ll be right over”

“I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”

“Is there a special reason why you’re wearing my shirt?”

“It’s okay to cry”

“Look at me--just breathe okay?”

“She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”

“We have to pretend that we’re married.”

“Why can’t they see that they’re meant for each other?”

“You did all this for me?”

“You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked mine.”

While closing up Character A finds that they’re completely snowed in and the roads are blocked. Character B--another employee/a regular that stayed late--gets out two mugs and offers to make Character A a cup of hot cocoa while they wait for the snow to clear.

“how much did you drink?”

“You deserve better. It doesn’t have to be me, but you deserve better.”

“Please just hold my hand, that person’s basically undressing me with their eyes.”

Teacher from one department falls in love with teacher from another department AU

You found me singing a sad song on the fire escape a floor below you and you came down to ask me if something was wrong and I broke down and told you everything while you awkwardly sat there patting my head while I wept into your shoulder.

We sit across from each other on the train/tube everyday and I’m not sure how but we’ve ended up with this weird, silent, almost-friendship where we share “wtf” looks when we see another passenger doing something weird or telling a bizarre story and a few times I’ve almost gotten you to break and laugh out loud, but today you’re sitting with someone and I think they must be your partner because they are really in your space, but you shoot me a silent look that clearly screams ‘get this creep away from me’ and I’m all for that. AU

It’s the middle of winter and my heater went out and you let me stay at your place so I don’t freeze to death. God bless you.

Why are you crying in the hallway?? Are you okay?? Let’s go to my place, I have ice cream and Netflix.

I work in the library and I’m a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying.

I’ve been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what to make of you AU

“I don’t get sick”

“It’s not fun anymore, I’m dizzy...”

“We need to get this fever down”

“If you don’t stop soon, we’re going to the ER.”

You didn’t get a blanket on this flight so I figured we could share mine. You look cold okay? NO I AM NOT BLUSHING

You walked into the student lounge on our dorm floor and saw me cry-studying and walked out and now you’re back with coffee and a bag of chips and I’m seriously debating proposing to you with my ring pop

I kept getting harassed by some creepy person as I was trying to study and they’re not picking up on my ‘fuck off’ vibes and I started to actually get scared and then you put a coffee in front of my face and called me babe and scared them away thank you please let me buy you a new one on me oh you have a really cute smile when you’re shy

So I heard you get into this huge fight with someone and I know we’ve only exchanged genial smiles but I just wanted to check that you’re okay AU

You’re my adorably shy and awkward assistant who cares way too much about my love life and at a dance party you tell me to dance with the most attractive person in the room last so you can set up a date with them for me and when everyone’s gone I ask you to dance with me because you’re the prettiest person here to me duh AU

Your girlfriend decided to kick you out at 3 AM and I tripped over your boxes of shit in the hallways in my drunken trip to my apartment now I’m half passed out in a pile of your clothes AU

You asked who I had a crush on and so I described you to a tee but apparently you’re the most oblivious person in the world because you got kinda sad and nodded and HOW DO YOU NOT GET THIS AU

So your TV is facing the window and you’ve been watching Say Yes to the Dress for three days straight I just want to make sure you’re okay AU

You don’t eat nearly enough food and so I’ve gotten in the habit of making you lunches and bringing you deserts to make sure you don’t starve

My cereal is always on the bottom shelf but today they changed the layout so it’s on the top and I can’t reach it AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT YOUR HELP YOU GIANT AU

You are stupidly tall and you sit in front of me in class and I can’t see anything so I despise you with all of my soul AU

You are fiery and outspoken but you are so short that nobody pays any mind and I am so tall and have a huge crush on you so I just sort of follow you around making people listen to you AU

Person A getting startled by the New Years fireworks--not being fond of loud noises. Person B pulls them in for a deep kiss, completely distracting them from the exploding lights filling up the night sky

I was really drunk and you walked me safely back to my dorm room

My roommate brought you back to our apartment because apparently you got really drunk last night and needed someone to keep you safe and now you’re hungover and making pancakes and wow you’re cuTE

My ex runs one of the rides and I want to RUB IT IN THEIR FACE hold my hand and by the way when the camera takes a pic imma lean over and kiss you okay AU

#Now I'm off to Starbucks c ya #And if you reblog this from me there's a good 98% chance I'll request something from it #Like I'm not even joking I will go to your blog and just request this shit bc I love ALL OF THESE AUs #anyways;;; starbucks time

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staybythekidlaroi · 4 years

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ok y'all so in regards to a few anons who want to hear about my experience teaching in korea.... here it is under the read more

i guess to begin, i majored in east asian studies and graduated in 2018. i actually studied abroad in korea two separate times (i got sick the first time and had to drop out of my program so ended up coming back a 2nd time). i used to be one of those people who was like “i’m gonna teach in korea for a year and that’ll get my foot in the door working here, get really good at speaking korean and then get a non-teaching job in korea where i use korean every day.” and i want to preface this saying that if you are thinking anything along these lines that it is literally the most farfetched idea possible lmao. the korean job market is already impossible enough for koreans, nonetheless foreigners. i’m very glass half empty about working in korea so most of what i’m gonna say is pessimistic, mostly because my experiences haven’t been compared to most people i know, so... yeah dfskjghdfjg

job wise, i came here and was fucking stupid enough to work at a poly from sept 2019-march 2020. poly is a hagwon chain that is known for its excessive working hours and lack of like any breaks/personal time. i worked m/t/th/fri from 9-7:25 and then wednesdays were the only early days, 9-5:55. i absolutely loathed working here as i felt like a literal robot. my current job now, which is in itaewon, is 9-5:30 m/w/fri and 9-4:30 t/th. i’m paid 2.35 now compared to 2.8 at poly, and it actually does kind of suck because all of my co-workers make more than i do - even the art/science teacher who is supposed to make less since they’re not a homeroom teacher. i personally know now i don’t like teaching at all. i don’t get satisfaction out of it and despise classroom management. i can honestly and openly admit that i lack the emotional maturity to “be a teacher,” for example, if a kid complains and whines that they’re tired, i’ll whine right back lmao. i don’t feel i’ve gained any skills working at a hagwon as everything is essentially for profit education and we’re forced to just shove 4896743975 books down our kids’ throats. there’s also the fact that my principal is incompetent af and she makes every walk on eggshells at our school.

my advice if you are considering/teaching in korea is to seriously ask yourself why you wanna come to korea. is it really, honestly bc you like kpop? is it because you listen to kpop casually and have never been to korea/abroad before and want to experience a new country and have a job at the same time? honestly........ korean work culture is really stressful imo and i don’t recommend it unless you’re REALLY mentally strong and have a thick skin and aren’t easily bothered by small things. i tend to feel easily inconvenienced and korean work culture is super last minute about everything. for example, our vice principal wasn’t at school yesterday, so one of the 7 year old teachers messages us and starts telling us we need to send a document to our school’s accountant to do our taxes or w/e. she texts us this saying we needed to have it done by the end of THAT DAY in the middle of our last class of the day. you’d think they would’ve given us notice a few days in advance if they knew they needed it that day, right? no. this is just how it is here. and it will happen frequently, ie. if a teacher is sick, you think they’ll get a sub? no, they will make any teacher who doesn’t have a class to teach instead. you will have a hard time trying to see a doctor/go to the bank/get anything you need done. if you can handle this sort of work attitude, then go for it, but this is the kind of stuff that has definitely worn away at my mental health here.

if you are thick skinned and are truly looking to be a teacher/go the education route, i recommend you get a degree in it because then you have better teaching options available here at REAL LEGITIMATE international schools and not a hagwon. i don’t have public school experience, but from what i’ve heard, you 1. would probably not get a true teacher experience as an EPIK teacher (legit all of them are being paid to sit and desk warm for a month and a half rn) and 2. your pay cap is literally like... 2.3 million. teaching in korea is really limiting career wise, and it baffles me that there are even “lifers” in korea who just ended up staying at these kind of places for decades.

after working here, honestly, i’ve become super jaded and really pessimistic with the idea of working in korea. this is totally separate from just living in korea in general. but this is also coming from someone who doesn’t want to be a teacher and is so mentally burnt out that i’m counting down the days till i go back to the usa and get a therapist and take half a year off to let myself mentally rest/heal lmao. i know a LOT of people who would give very different experiences in comparison to mine, and i’ve considered making a podcast series about this and interviewing different people about their experiences and talking about why people who think about coming here should REALLY think about it before they do it. some people get lucky and have a wonderful time, but i think those are mostly EPIK teachers who end up with super good co-teachers and really don’t have to do much work. i think hagwon life is totally different and way more high stress because obvi the parents are paying an arm and a leg for glorified english babysitting. if you don’t see yourself teaching/doing education in the future, i would say pass on teaching here and just come here to travel instead. i wish i could say i had a more positive experience working here, but.... i am dying to get out of here in 20 some odd days LMAO

#if there's anything else you'd like me to post about/expand on just lmk!!!!#i feel bad because i really am p negative about it and don't have a lot of good things to say #but i think if you asked me this in a few months after i'm home i think i'd also have diff things to say looking back in retrospect

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excellentadventure2 · 7 years

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Feb. 25-March 9: Selling Bilbo and Flying Home

Panama Part Two: David.

If you'll remember last week that Danielle and I were in Panama City and, once again, debating our options on what to do with ourselves and Bilbo. Our choice of options had been narrowed down due to the fact Bilbo wasn't allowed back into Costa Rica because of me cancelling the Temporary Import Permit as opposed to leaving it open. Thus, we were left with the option of storing the vehicle in Panama, or selling the vehicle.

One thing I forgot to mention in the last blog was that for a couple days we had actually left Panama City and drove a bit North into the 'burbs to stay in a couple's Airbnb for far cheaper than staying in Panama City. While we were there we didn't due too much aside from work on our computers. Notably, however, we gave ourselves a timeline and added a lot more stress to our lives by booking plane tickets out of Panama City for the 8th back home to Victoria, BC.

Anyway, with no option of driving out of Costa Rica in the next three month and plane tickets booked home with no cancellation insurance we needed to figure something out yesterday. We'd heard the best place to store a vehicle was at the Aduana in David, and so I posted a for sale ad up on the web and we headed to David.

I'd had a bite on the ad from some American Expat in David so I messaged him saying that we were coming his way and planned to meet up. I'm not going to go into every little detail that transpired between us but after three full days of frigging around with him, customs workers, and importers, he essentially backed out of the sale. It was very frustrating to waste a few days with this guy leading me on and running me around the David area, but little did I know how frustrating it was to become.

So, with the American expat backing out, I had to find someone else to buy Bilbo. Thus, I threw an ad up on a Panamanian classifieds site, encuentra24.com, with an incredibly low asking price of USD$1500. I got quite a few hits from the ad but one response in particular I followed through with.

But let's back up a bit. As you know, Bilbo was a Canadian vehicle, registered in Canada. This meaning that for me to legally sell him in Panama, meant the buyer, in order to legally purchase the vehicle and to insure it, would need to import Bilbo to Panama. Now, I'd done some research as well as, at this point, after frigging around with the American, found that the total import fees would be in the area of USD$1500. So quite a bit of money, but all things considered, still a damn good deal for Bilbo. I should note that in my ad I did mention this detail about the importing.

Now, back to the story. I had a message, I'm not sure if on encuentra24 or on Facebook, from a Dutch guy who's father-in-law lived at hour from David in Boquette. I can't exactly remember his name but I think the Dutch guy's name was Mark, so we'll call him that. Anyway, Mark's father-in-law owned a coffee farm and was looking for a vehicle suitable for moving coffee beans around to replace his rusted out Landcruiser. So, Mark's father-in-law, Fernandino, came, with his wife, to our hotel and checked out Bilbo. Oh, and neither of them spoke any English. After checking it out for a couple minutes, Mark called me over wifi and, through his wife, translated what Fernandino had to say: he was interested in the vehicle but could only offer USD$800. Fine, whatever I'm desperate here and don't care, let's make it happen.

Now Mark assured me that Fernandino had done his research and knew how to get the vehicle out of my name and into his. He also assured me that he could do all of this up in Boquette, despite me reading online that the transfer must be done at a customs office (Aduana). What I had read was this: for me to sell my foreign vehicle to a Panamanian I had to get a notarized bill of sale, and give that, plus the registration, plus the vehicle import permit, to the Aduana, whereby they stamp my passport saying the vehicle is no longer mine, and they take possession of it. Once that's been done, the buyer must then complete the importation process through a customs broker, and then pay the importation fee and take possession of the vehicle. However, the seller of the vehicle does not have to be involved once their passport has been stamped. This entire process should take only one day and be fairly simple – if only that had been the case. Regardless, we arranged that I would meet Fernandino in Boquette the next day and we'd complete the sale.

The next day Danielle and I drove to Boquette with plans of selling the vehicle and busing back down together. We arrived and found Fernandino. He took us to a Municiple office where we spent about 30 minutes talking to a lady who had no idea what she was doing and was in no way involved with customs. I'm still not sure what she was and I don't know why we went there, but from there we followed Fernandino to a random hardware store (I don't know why). At the hardware store I was able to find someone fluent in both Spanish and English who translated for me what I believed we had to be doing. That didn't get us very far until we were able to get a hold of Mark on the phone. Mark told me that Fernandino wanted to go talk to a customs broker so we were to go there. Okay, sure. We then came to find that she wasn't located in Boquette town centre, but instead a few minutes away. This was a problem given Bilbo only had two seats and therefore Danielle took the bus alone back to David and Fernandino and I headed to the customs broker's.

We arrived at a some lady's house who sat us in the kitchen and started asking me (in Spanish) if I had some form, showing me an example. I told her no, because I'd never seen that form before. After many minutes of trying to communicate this, she called someone on her phone who could translate. I told the mystery phone lady I didn't have the form (I still don't know exactly what the form was but I think they thought the vehicle was Costa Rican or Panamanian or something). Eventually the custom broker's son showed up and helped me translate. For some reason they then had a moment of clarity and took some copies of Bilbo's documents from me and sent Fernandino and me on our way to David to the Aduana. Before I left, the customs broker told me to make sure Fernandino payed me before I signed over anything at the Aduana.

We then began heading to David, with it already approaching mid-day. However, Fernandino took me (by means of point when to turn right or left) to his mother's house to have lunch and give me some coffee. This took probably 45 minutes.

We then reached the Aduana where no one on this day spoke English. What a mess this became. I'm not sure why, but instead of just doing the signing they sent us to some municipal building. Fernandino spoke to someone there, and then we went a block over to some random office (non-governmental) where some lady asked to look at my forms. From there we went to the notary (finally we're getting somewhere).

At the notary we were supposed to have some kind of appointment that Fernandino's wife, who met us there, had arraigned. However, the lady was very late, and when she finally did show up wouldn't notarize the form. I'm not sure why she was refusing (again she didn't speak English). Then, Fernandino was finally able to get a hold of Mark on his cell phone (which he didn't know how to use). I explained to Mark what was happening and he got his wife to talk to Fernandino. I'm not sure what was said, but we left that particular lady's office and went to the main desk where promptly we were able to get a bill of sale notarized and signed by all parties.

At this point I thought we were finally getting close but the day was running short and the Aduana was to close at 4 and it was getting close to that. On the phone at the notary, Mark had told me that once we had a bill of sale notarized we would head to the bank and Fernandino would pay me. So we headed to the bank and found a huge line up running outside the building. There were a couple ATMs in front of the building but apparently Fernandino wouldn't or couldn't use them so had to wait in line. By the time he got out of the building, it was well past four.

Fernandino insisted we drive back to the Aduana, which, of course, was closed and it was a Friday. We got a hold of Mark and explained the situation. We arranged to meet at the hotel on Monday morning at 9:00 and then we'd head to the Aduana and get it sold.

I drove back to the hotel to find Danielle. Danielle explained that on the bus she'd been harrassed by some creepy dude who kept touching her leg and trying to see her phone as well as tell her that he loved her. Once she finally got to David she booked it off the bus as the guy tried to follow her. She hailed a cab and luckily made it to the hotel without problem. A shitty day for the both of us but at least Fernandino and his wife offered to take us to dinner at a small soda where we got fried chicken. Fernandino ate everything, bones and all. It was somewhat awkward as we could only communicate in broken Spanish on our end and very broken English on Fernadino's wife's end but whatever.

When Monday March 6th (I've lost count and honestly think the day-count has been wrong for some time now) arrived, 9:00 came and went with no Fernandino. I got a hold of Mark and apparently Fernadino had gone straight to the Aduana – are you kidding me? I booked it to the Aduana to find him and we once again spoke to the lady who didn't speak English. I finally thought we were going to be finished but instead no, we had to run around David again for another entire day. Honestly the details are fuzzy but we once again drove to multiple places frigging around unnecessarily for god knows what reason. Here's a few of the stops I can remember:

One was a random guy's place out in the ghetto. I have no idea why we went here. Fernandino just yapped to some guy for a bit and then we left. What the hell?

Another stop we made, that was apparently actually a necessary one was to go back to the municipal office I'd visited on Friday to get what I believe was essentially another Bill of Sale. This, of course, took a bit of time as no one really knew what they were doing.

Perhaps the most frustrating stop was the police station where apparently the vehicle needed to get inspected. This is where I knew something was very wrong and I was indeed wasting my time as there was no reason I needed to get the vehicle inspected. I knew that the Aduana lady had sent Fernandino here because he'd need it inspected to get it registered in Panama, but I didn't need to be involved with this process. The police officers told Fernandino that they only do inspections on Thursdays and he'd have to come back then. Of course they didn't speak English. I was finally able to get Fernandino to leave and I demanded we drive back to the Aduana.

Back at the Aduana a miracle happened. As I and Fernandino sat in the office wasting time as the lady and him fussed over what to do and I became increasingly frustrated. I noticed a white guy looking a bit pissed off waiting there beside me. I asked him if he spoke English and he did. I then asked if he would be able to translate for me and he said yes. Through the Coloradan I was basically able to tell the Aduana lady what needed to happen and how to do her job. Apparently this is all she needed and all of a sudden my passport was stamped. Finally Fernandino payed me the USD$800 and I was free. I chatted a bit with the Coloradan and thanked him profusely. I then booked it out of there and tried to get back to the hotel as fast as my legs would take me because it was 13:47 and check-out at our hotel was at 14:00. I jogged back to the hotel to find that Danielle had already checked out of the hotel and all our stuff and her were waiting in the lobby.

From the hotel (which we'd stayed at for many many days), we got a cab to the bus terminal to make the long journey to Panama City. Before we continue the story I should mention that while in David, when we weren't frigging around with the American or Fernandino, we did a tonne of computer work, walked around quite a bit, saw The Great Wall and Logan in the theatre (we actually saw three movies while in Panama including John Wick 2 while in Panama City), and on one of our very last days in David, drove a bit out of town to spend a day at the beach.

Anyway, we arrived at the bus terminal with our two large backpacks, our two small backpacks, the Pelican case we'd had on the roof, and a snowboard bag stuffed with the traction pads plus a bunch of stuff that didn't fit elsewhere. As we were just loading stuff onto the bus, the latter bad ripped completely. Thinking quickly I used two bike lock chain things to wrap around what was left and try to seal it up – surprisingly I don't think I lost a thing.

After many hours (and many Spanish-dubbed movies) later, we arrived in Panama City at around midnight. From there we caught a cab back to La Cresta Inn (where else?) where we stayed from the night of the 6th, to the early morning of the 8th. Early the 8th we grabbed breakfast and caught the hotel's airport shuttle to Tocumen International Airport. We arrived early and got in line before our check in was even open yet. I'd done the math and for all our extra bags and oversized/overweight ones, we were looking at spending +USD$400 to bring it all home. Luckily however, the guy checking us in either didn't care or didn't know and it only cost us USD$80 to bring all our stuff home. We were stoked.

After a few hour layover in Miami, we arrived in Seattle quite late at night. Luckily we didn't have to recheck our baggage and so we left Sea-Tac in the frozen night and got some sleep at a nearby airport hotel. The next day, March 9th, 2017, after almost exactly six months on the road, Danielle and I touched down in Victoria International Airport to be picked up by Danielle's mother and grandparents. As we drove home it snowed.

Okay so as for the photos. Because of all the frustration and confusion that surrounded this period of time I actually took zero photos with my camera. I did, however, take a few with my phone which I will attach below. The first of which are ones I forgot to add last post and are actually from Panama City.

#Rob Wilson #Photography #Travel #Adventure #Overlanding #Panama #Canada #David #Panama City #Victoria #2017

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newyorktheater · 4 years

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Patti LuPone sings in her basement for her Twitter followers

A singer from the “Couch Choir” of the Rotterdam Philharmonic sings Burt Bacharach’s (They Long to Be) Close To You — one of the many virtual performances by orchestras and choirs that have sprung up worldwide since the stay-at-home orders

Alvin Ailey’s magnificent 60-year-old “Revelations,” with its inspiring Negro spirituals and spirited modern dancing, (pictured) streamed for free as part of the new online series Ailey All Access , added to the growing list of online offerings

Faith Prince and Richard Kind perform in The Tale of the Allergists Wife on Stars in the House, which is branching out from variety talk show to live readings of full-length plays.

T.R. Knight in “Transition” by David Lindsay-Abaire, one of the plays from 24 Hour Plays’ Viral Monologues, Round 3

Pirates pitcher Steven Brault sings Broadway

Max von Essen sings “What More Can I Do” from Falsettos for Intermission Mission, one of the new online series, this one from Today Tix

J Harrison Ghee from Mrs Doubtfire

In the first week of April, as the news remained scary and theaters remained closed, theater – and especially theater music – became a balm.

Mrs. Doubtfire didn’t open on Sunday, the first of the 10 Broadway openings originally scheduled for April, but they celebrated in song, with a virtual performance of the show’s song “As long as there is love”

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The New York Philharmonic canceled its season a couple of weeks ago, but its musicians offered a ravishing Bolero by Ravel, remotely

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For those who’ve enjoyed @nyphil‘s digital “Bolero,” check out earlier virtual orchestra/choir videos — the “couch choir” of @rdamphil (pictured), @CamdenVoices , @BerkleeCollege , @CO_Symphony, @dycireland https://t.co/ijv1Z0wbOK pic.twitter.com/d4s8U3podm

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) April 4, 2020

Bette Midler offered a song for New Yorkers

From some dear New York friends of mine: Sung by Zora Rasmussen Piano by @marcshaiman pic.twitter.com/nAGbOSt9bR

— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) April 2, 2020

Patti LuPone offered us a singing tour of her basement

Ya bored yet? pic.twitter.com/kDZR1jYWyG

— Patti LuPone (@PattiLuPone) April 1, 2020

Even Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Steven Brault was singing this week, releasing a showtunes album with the almost-punning title A Pitch at Broadway A Pitch at Broadway

Oscar winner Parasite debuts on Hulu

Jodie Foster and Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver, on Netflix

James Corden at National Live at Home

She Loves Me on PBS

April 2020 Calendar of “Openings”: What’s Streaming on Netflix, National Theatre, Hulu, PBS Great Performances, Amazon Prime, HBO Etc

New York Theater Quiz for March 2020

Theater Book Reviews

Death By Shakespeare “Plague shaped Shakespeare’s life,” Kathryn Harkup writes in her new book. Death By Shakespeare: Snakebites, Stabbings and Broken Hearts (Bloomsbury Sigma, 368 pages, May 2020 publication date.) The first outbreak of the Plague during Shakespeare’s lifetime occurred three months after his birth in 1564, and he was among only one-third of the children in the town of Stratford-upon-Avon to survive. He was just starting to make his name as a playwright in London in 1592, when there was a severe outbreak that resulted in the shuttering of the theaters – drying up opportunity for playwriting and thus pushing the Bard to become a poet, which arguably enhanced his writing when he returned to drama. Plague was so common at the time that authorities decreed that theaters could reopen if the weekly death rate from the epidemic sunk below 50 for three consecutive weeks. And so, Harkup says, it’s no surprise that the Plague pervades Shakespeare’s plays “Death by Shakespeare” doesn’t just fact-check the playwright’s scripts. The author uses death as the lens by which to describe life in Elizabethan England – the conditions, the attitudes, the practices surrounding death. Full review

Terrence McNally Selected Works: A Memoir in Plays Terrence McNally considered Shakespeare and Chekhov his gods, and Liza Minnelli and Chita Rivera his goddesses; he learned a lot from all four. That’s what he tells us within the first few pages of Selected Works: A Memoir in Plays (Grove Press, 659 pages) a book published in 2015 that presents the scripts of eight of his plays*, written from 1987 to 2013, interspersed with a few pages of introduction, recollection and digression. full review

Note: Monday night April 6 at 8 p.m., McNally’s Lips Together, Teeth Apart live online reading performed by Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Celia Keenan-Bolger, Zachary Quinto and Ari Graynor , in support of the BC/EFA COVID-19 Emergency Assistance Fund

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Online Theater Gets Seriously Comic

Stars in the House, which has been a twice-daily online variety hour and talk show, has now added a twice weekly “matinee” – a live reading every Wednesday and Saturday afternoon of popular play performed by a starry cast. They’re calling in Plays in the House. The first up last week were Wendy Wasserstein’s The Heidi Chronicles, performed by the original cast, and Charles Busch’s The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife starring Busch himself (as Marjorie herself) and Richard Kind, Faith Prince,

The hosts promise that future plays will star Harvey Fierstein, Tony Shaloub, and Brooke Adams, among others.

T.R. Knight in “Transition” by David Lindsay-Abaire, one of the plays from 24 Hour Plays’ Viral Monologues, Round 3

Playwright @lindsayabaire on writing plays, successively, for @TheRealDratch (a comedy), Marylouise Burke (a haunting mystery), & @TR_Knight (a fantasy) in @24HourPlays‘ #ViralMonologues. My interview w/ him in @DC_theatrescene: https://t.co/8Zutj6eLda pic.twitter.com/YZc8W1qabf

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) April 3, 2020

Methuen Drama will publish the Viral Monologues as a book, edited by Howard Sherman, who inspired the solo series.

Added since last week to my roundup Where to Get Your Theater Fix Online: Old Favorites and New Experiments

Ailey All Access

Humana Festival of New Plays offering two of the plays from the season that it had to cancelon stage

Intermission Mission from TodayTix “At home performances from the Broadway community” — basically a single song each day by a different Broadway star

Joe’s Pub Live

L.A. Theatreworks

Play at Home — new original short plays available to read for free commissioned by five great theaters, including the Public Theater and Woolly Mammoth. This echoes what were called “closet plays” during earlier eras when theaters where shut down either because of Plague or political repression. The playwrights then never expected them to be produced, so went wild. Presumably, the 21st century playwrights are just as wild, but expect eventually to see them on stage.

The Shows Must Go On A different Andrew Lloyd Webber musical launches for free every Friday for 48 hours on this new YouTube page. First up: Donny Osmond stars in the 1999 film of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat”

News

Arts industry unemployment claims in New York rise 3,880 percent.

Broadway is still selling tickets for April performances. But why?

The Off-Broadway League has announced that its 2020 Lortel Awards, honoring Off-Broadway will go on as scheduled — nominations April 14, winners at May 3 ceremony — but all now online. This is the only New York theater award so far to keep to its original schedule.

The Bret Adams & Paul Reisch Foundation is offering 40 emergency grants of $2,500 each to playwrights, composers, lyricists and librettists who have had a full professional production cancelled, closed, or indefinitely postponed due to the COVID-19 closures

An inspiring story: Director @JeffWhitingNYC is leading some 900 theater professionals, mostly wardrobe & costume people from Broadway shows, to create protective gear. And that’s just in NYC! Theater pros are helping throughout the country.https://t.co/EnQbRWYpLl

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) April 1, 2020

Pandemic theater is already here examples in this L.A Times article: Skylight Theatre of Los Angeles and the 24 Hour Plays’ Viral Monologues. “Pandemic-set plays were bound to happen sooner or later, and it’s so close to home. Numerous members of the theater community have tested positive for the coronavirus, including Tom Hanks, Aaron Tveit, Daniel Dae Kim, Laura Bell Bundy and Brian Stokes Mitchell. The disease took the lives of Terrence McNally and Adam Schlesinger.”

American Theatre Magazine editor Rob Weiner-Kendt offers a scattershot overview of what’s happening in a piece entitled No Show.: If we can’t have theatre until we can gather again safely, what are U.S. theatres and artists going to do in the meantime, and after? One paragraph:

“Theatre has survived worse, even in its cradle. The plague of Athens killed some 25 percent of its population in 430 B.C.E., and inspired the Theban plague in Sophocles’s Oedipus Rex. Shakespeare’s career was famously interrupted by the Black Plague, during which time, as [San Diego’s Old Globe artistic director Barry] Edelstein pointed out, the Bard and his colleagues did three things: “They made plans for what they were going to do when theatres reopened. They toured the provinces, sold props, costumes, bundled plays and sold them—that’s how the First Folio got made. And they went to the King and said, ‘Help.’”

Rest in Peace

Adam Schlesinger, 52, from COVID-19. Known for his work with his band Fountains of Wayne and on the TV show “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” he was also a 2-time Broadway veteran (comical co-songwriter of Cry Baby and Act of God)

a sweet “egobituary” about Adam Schlesinger https://t.co/IdQB1YiS8Q

— New York Theater (@NewYorkTheater) April 2, 2020

William Wolf, 94, theater critic who wrote reviews and columns for Cue and New York magazines and taught at NYU.He was a past president of the Drama Desk. He too died from complications from the coronavirus.

The NYC health workers who have died of COVID-19

#AloneTogether, singing! Online theater gets seriously comic. #Stageworthy News of the Week In the first week of April, as the news remained scary and theaters remained closed, theater – and especially theater music – became a balm.

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fleurtyherald · 7 years

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Did Starbucks know they were paying homage to a 7th-century Italian motif when they chose their logo? The first one below, on the left, is a melusina (melusine) or mermaid in the facade of San Michele, Pavia, Italy. The second one, on the right, is from the crest of the Colonna family.

I’m taking some time off from my hometown and am on a three-month cross country trip. If you’d like to see some of the stops I’ve made feel free to visit countryboycitygirl.com to read about them.

For now, I’m in Washington State and boy do they love Starbucks. I’ve been here for three weeks and what is that saying, “when in Rome”? So, I’m at Starbucks right now and wondered a little about their logo. I know the name comes from Moby Dick but I wonder where the mermaid with two tails came from. Did a little digging and found a cool Italian connection that I thought I’d report on.

I found an article from 2015 by Angelica Calabrese that explains it all titled, ” The Siren on Your Starbucks Cup Was Born in 7th-Century Italy”:

Three two-tailed melusines with mirrors. (Photo: cea +/flickr)

ON A LATE OCTOBER MORNING, the wind howls through the winding streets of ancient Otranto. Whitecaps curl up from a bright blue sea, smashing against the fortified walls of the southern Italian city. Otranto was once considered the easternmost tip of Western civilization, with just under 50 miles of Mediterranean sea separating the city from Albania. From the city’s bay, Crusaders left on missions to the Orient, early Christian travelers returned from pilgrimages to Jerusalem, and in the 15th century, the Ottoman Turks launched their attack on the city. All of these parties passed by the Otranto Cathedral at some point during their journey.

In the sunlight, the exterior of the cathedral is golden. The structure, built in 1088, is simple, with a few arched windows and carved capitals. But inside, wild animals, biblical characters, and fantastical creatures cavort across the cathedral floor. A monk named Pantaleone and his team of artisans created the enigmatic mosaic in the 1160s. It’s one of the largest in Europe and depicts all the important stories and figures of the time: the Tree of Life, the expulsion from Eden, Alexander the Great, elephants, sphinxes, centaurs, and much more.

How all of these stories and images from distant cultural traditions made their way onto the mosaic is still a mystery. But most intriguingly–at least for the contemporary coffee consumer–is a detailed image of a long-locked, sweetly smiling, twin-tailed mermaid.

The interior of Otranto Cathedral. (Photo: Lupiae/WikiCommons CC BY-SA 3.0)

Indeed, she looks a lot like the stylized green lady gazing staring serenely back at you from the white cup on your desk holding your cooling coffee. Though Starbucks claims that their image was originally drawn from a 16th century Norse woodcut, a little exploring reveals that the world’s most famous mermaid was famous long before the 16th century–and long before Starbucks.

On the backs of a male and female elephant, the Tree of Life stretches towards the apse of the church, with various stories documented on the branches of the tree. One segment is a medieval calendar, depicting every month of the year with its zodiac sign and related activities: for example, in September, a peasant pounds grapes with his feet underneath an image of Virgo. Another segment depicts heaven and hell, with punishments similar to those that would be described 200 years later in Dante’s Inferno. The fabled King Arthur rides his horse next to Cain and Able, laborers construct a soon-to-crumble Tower of Babel, the Roman goddess Diana shoots a deer, and in the mosaic version of a medieval bestiary, sphinxes and lions claw at one another.

With stories and symbols drawn from the Bible, the Koran, Greek mythology and medieval stories, the mosaic is a testament to the diversity of ideas that circulated in southern Italy during the Middle Ages.

The exterior of Otranto Cathedral. (Photo: Angelica Calabrese)

Inhabited since in the 8th century BC, with a strategic position at the center of a rich trade between the East and the West, Otranto would clock time as a part of the Greek, Roman, Byzantine, and Norman empires. The Cathedral, commissioned by the city’s Norman rulers for completion by local Greek-Italian monks, combines early Christian, Byzantine, and Romanesque styles. Otranto was also home to a thriving Jewish community from its inception, and some hypothesize that Kabbalah is the key to understanding the unusual mosaic.

The twin-tailed mermaid is located in a section of the mosaic typically thought to represent virtues to aspire to and vices to steer clear of, in the form of various mythical creatures and historical figures. Along with a unicorn, a leopard, an elephant, the Queen of Sheba, and others, the mermaid likely served to remind the many travelers who passed through the cathedral to beware the temptations, carnal and otherwise, that might lead them to stray from their path.

The twin-tailed mermaid mosaic at Otranto Cathedral. (Photo: Angelica Calabrese)

But in cities such as Otranto, with long histories of various rulers, cultures, and belief systems, no interpretation is certain, and it’s nearly impossible to trace the precise origin of an image like the twin-tailed mermaid. In many different ancient civilizations, from West Africa to Mesopotamia, the mermaid was a fertility symbol uniting man and nature. The first recognizable mermaid image appears on an Assyrian palace in 800 BC, with later cameos in Homer’s The Odyssey, and Etruscan funerary urns from 300 BC. Others claim the mermaid is related to Sheela-Na-Gig, a fertility symbol found in Ireland and Britain, and still others say that she may have been inspired by the allure of women from Eastern countries.

The particular split-tailed and long-locked mermaid whose descendants populate coffee cups all over the world first appears on the mosaic floor of a cathedral in Pesaro, Italy. This mosaic was created during the Byzantine era, in the 7th century. Five hundred years later, she became a focal part of the mosaic in the Otranto Cathedral.

It’s difficult to know where else she might have been depicted in the centuries in between, what mosaics and sculptures and frescoes may have been lost over time. But Otranto was a highly trafficked port city at the time, and it is possible that the image in the cathedral may have inspired other artists and travelers.

The mosaic’s depiction of Satan in hell. (Photo: Angelica Calabrese)

Also popular in port cities like Venice, by the 13th century the twin-tailed mermaid began to travel through Europe. She became a crucial member of the medieval “bestiary,” a collection of animals used to decorate church capitals, porticoes, and religious texts. These fantastical figures served to warn men and women against the vices condemned by the medieval church, like temptation, greed, and pride. In the 14th century, a French text was published that described the story of Melusine, a beautiful queen whose bottom half became serpentine while she bathed; this character soon became associated with the twin-tailed siren.

When Starbucks was preparing to open its doors in 1971, the founders were in search of an image that could represent their fledgling Seattle coffee company. “There was a lot of poring over old marine books going on,” Starbucks staff writer Steve M. wrote in a 2011 blog post, and “suddenly, there she was: a 16th century Norse woodcut of a twin-tailed mermaid, or siren.”

The original Starbucks logo. (Photo: Blanca Garcia Gil/flickr)

While some have tried to track down the “16th century Norse woodcut” from which the original image was culled, others, like blogger Carl Pyrdum, argue that such a woodcut never existed. “By the time woodcut images on paper arose in medieval Europe, around 1400 give or take a decade, there weren’t any people that you could properly call ‘Norse,’” he writes in a post on Got Medieval.

The “woodcut” was likely drawn from an image of Melusine, who was popular in France and Northern Europe during the 15th and 16th centuries. This first siren had bare breasts, a plump stomach with a belly button, and promiscuously splayed tails, though redesigns have hidden these features. Howard Schultz, the businessman who transformed Starbucks into a contemporary global coffee empire, described her as “barebreasted and Rubenesque,” in his book Pour Your Heart Into It: How Starbucks Built a Company One Cup at a Time.

Today’s Starbucks logo. (Photo: Noel Reinhold/flickr)

The mermaid was supposed to be “as seductive as the coffee itself,” he writes. Seductive, yes–but a medieval consumer confronted with the symbol would have known that she was a reminder to resist temptation, rather than to succumb to it. According to the company’s website, Starbucks also believed the siren’s image could “capture the seafaring history of coffee and Seattle’s strong seaport roots.”

Seen on the logos across the world as well as in the mosaic of the Otranto Cathedral, the siren is a potent symbol of globalization–but a globalization that was thriving long before Starbucks came around. With her roots (or rather, her tails) in the Mediterranean basin, she is the inevitable production of the countless cultural interactions and exchanges that took place in the region–like coffee itself, and, in fact, like Starbucks. After all, it was Italian coffee culture, its espresso drinks and leisurely cafés on every corner, that inspired Schultz to create his own coffee behemoth.

Maybe someday the mermaid on the mosaic of Otranto will be face to face with her modern reincarnation on a glass-walled coffee shop on the other side of the church’s piazza.

Italian Connection: Starbucks Logo Did Starbucks know they were paying homage to a 7th-century Italian motif when they chose their logo?

#Italian #italy #melusine #origin #otranto #starbucks #twin-tailed mermaid

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