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feralthoughtdump · 3 years

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Sign of The Times

Part One: Kiss With A Fist

Part Two: Only Angel

Part Three: Arsonist's Lullaby

Bucky and his Angel’s time in Riga is coming to an end and possibly their little fling.

CW: violence, slight angst, John Walker being rude, fluff, slight smut, nightmares, slight allusions to religion and maternal trauma, crying, Sign of The Times by Harry Styles, time jump

Word Count: 6.6k

Angel wakes up next to Bucky and her heart is filled with regret.

No, not regret over the sex, rather what happened after the sex.

You’re the only one who’s made me feel human.

Why did she say that? Why did she admit to that?

She hopes that he didn’t hear her. She hopes that he’ll forget what she said to him.

Never in her life, even after the sex that she’s had, had she ever admit to something so stupid. Something so personal.

But then again, she’s never had sex with someone like Bucky until now.

He’s made her feel something. He’s made her feel full in more ways than one.

He’s made her feel good, and never in her life, has anyone made her feel good.

Bucky stirs next to her, pulling her body close to his.

He’s warm, and his embrace makes her feel warmer.

She turns around, careful not to wake him, so she can see his face.

She can’t stop thinking about him. He had managed to crack the hard shell that was ingrained into her. He had managed to reach into her and pull out someone else. Someone she was unfamiliar with.

Someone human.

Thirteen years ago, when she would study the blurry images that were put in front of her, She would have assumed that they were cut from the same cloth. But now? As he is lying right next to her, holding her in his arms, they couldn’t be more different.

Bucky killed because he didn’t have a choice. He wasn’t in control.

But her? That wasn’t the case. Violence was a part of her. It ran through her blood.

She needed it like a shark needs to swim.

As for you, you seem to have this, how do I say it, a compulsion to kill. It will always stick to you.

She thinks about Zemo’s words and a bitter taste fills her mouth.

He’s right. She was ruled by anger and compulsion.

She knows that when this is over, she would go back to killing. She wouldn’t be able to stop no matter how hard she wanted to.

Bucky’s metal hand clasps over hers, pulling her from her thoughts.

“What are you thinking about sweet Angel?”

She quickly paints on a smile and kisses him.

“Nothing, Buck. Just admiring you.”

How could she, a monster, have pulled a man as good as him, she thinks, staring into his bright, blue eyes.

“Well, I’ll lie here and admire you too.” He smiles.

His words improve her mood, practically melting her stress away. He doesn’t mention her confession at all and it fills her with relief.

She basks in his warmth and gentle gaze until a knock on the door startles them.

“Alright lovebirds, it’s half-past ten,” Sam remarks. “We’ve got some work to do.”

Angel smiles and gives Bucky one final kiss.

“I’m going to get dressed. So get out.”

She closes the bedroom door and sits in front of the mirror, quietly dabbing concealer around her under eyes. Her tongue slightly pokes out from between her teeth as she meticulously fills in her brows. She turns her head to the side and grins.

“Pretty.” She whispers to herself.

Pretty made her feel nice. It made her feel sweet. Feeling pretty made her feel slightly less monstrous.

As she twirls in front of the mirror, she grins at her appearance. Sure, the pink puff-sleeved dress was obnoxious and the volume and ruffled hem made it slightly impractical, she thought it was lovely. A cute little number she bought the second she saw it in a store window in Paris. A reward for herself. A little ‘good job’ gift after her twenty-fifth kill.

It almost made her look angelic.

She grabs her white heeled boots and opens the door, lacing them up as she hops through the entrance.

“Nice dress.” Sam notes, peering at her outfit.

“Really?” Angel grabs a Turkish Delight from the counter and pops it into her mouth. “Thanks. I got it in Paris.” She chirps.

“You’re in such a good mood today,” Sam mutters. “Does it have anything to do with your wild night with Bucky?”

Bucky chokes on his water and coughs.

“You heard us?”

“Of course I did. You two need to learn how to control your volume.”

She walks over to the couch and sits down, the dress poofing around her.

“Bucky needs a good lay anyways.” She ties the laces of her boots into a bow. “It’s good stress relief.”

The sun casts a colorful light onto the floor and Angel admires him, bathed in reds, blues, and greens.

“Well, I saw a crepe place nearby.” She stands from the couch, balancing on her boots. “I’ll be back soon.”

…

Sam and Bucky were deep in conversation when she walks through the door, a bag of crepes in tow.

“Something’s not right about Walker.” Bucky says.

“You don’t say.” Sam replies.

“Well, I know a crazy one when I see one.” Bucky looks down at his plate. “Because I am crazy.”

“Oh hush.” Angel giggles, passing him a box of crepes. “You’re a little rough around the edges but that doesn’t mean you’re crazy.”

Zemo chuckles and leans against the dresser, a glass of whiskey in his hands.

“You’re an assassin who kills with no hesitation”

“Baron, just because I kill with no hesitation doesn’t mean I’m crazy.” She laughs, placing another box in front of him. “I’m able to stay cool and calculated and need I remind you, it’s my job.”

She walks past Sam and hands him a box. He mutters a quick ‘thank you’ and shuts his laptop closed.

The four of them have a long-overdue debrief of the events that happened the day before. They go over what went wrong, and what went right.

When the conversation shifts to the serum, the mood changes.

“Hypothetically, if you were offered it,” Zemo asks Sam, “Would you have taken it?”

“No.” Sam says.

“No hesitation,” Zemo notes. “Impressive.” He turns to Angel. “What about you?”

“No.” She sets her fork down. “I don’t like the idea of becoming, you know, more of myself.”

“What do you mean by that?” Bucky questions.

Her mood is quickly soured when John Walker kicks his way through the door.

“Alright.” He commands. “That’s it. I’m ordering for you to turn him (Zemo) over.”

“Here we go again.” She mutters, standing up to pour herself a tumbler of whiskey.

“Hey,” Sam stands up. “Slow your roll. Shield or no shield, the only thing you’re running is your mouth. Now, I had Karli and you overstepped. He’s actually proven himself useful yesterday. And we need all hands on deck for whatever’s coming next.”

“And what exactly has Princess Peach over there done to help?” John scoffs. “How does strutting around Latvia in her little outfits and playing with knives help?”

“Hey!” Angel snaps. “Shut your mouth. At least I have more than one outfit to wear while sauntering around Europe.”

John speeds over to her and raises his hand, but she catches his wrist.

“Ooh,” she chastises. “Hitting women, huh? Not very Captain America of you.”

Bucky stands from his seat and crosses his arms.

“Don’t you dare touch her, Walker.” He seethes.

“I can hold my own, Buck.” She narrows her eyes. “Step away John, or I’ll break your fucking wrist.”

“Listen here, John.” Sam walks over to him as John pulls his arm from Angel’s grip. “She’s been helpful this entire time, keeping an eye on Zemo, helping us track down Karli, and defending us when our lives were put at risk. Yet, you’ve been nothing but hostile to her. If you want us to work as a team, I expect you to at least show her some decency.”

She bites the inside of her cheek, trying to push away her anger. All she wanted was to punch him in the face, maybe stab him in the neck, but she knows she shouldn’t. At least not when Bucky and Sam are around.

“Thanks, Sam.” She mumbles.

“If a fight is what you want, why don’t I put down the shield huh?” John fumes. “Make this fair.”

As the shield touches the ground, a spear whizzes past Angel, the momentum fluffing the edge of her dress.

She turns around to see a woman clad in red.

The Dora Miaje. She’s heard the stories about them. The female warriors of Wakanda who had fought the titans after the blip.

Angel had always been one to prepare for any outcome, but this? She wasn’t expecting this. Not that she didn’t mind.

Her head whips around as two more walks past the doors, brandishing spears.

One speaks in Wakandan, and Bucky looks down in shame.

She may not understand her, but she knows that they were not happy with him.

“Release him to us now.” The woman demands.

“Bucky?” Angel turns to look at him. “What did you do?”

He doesn’t answer her, he only looks at the table, avoiding her eyes.

She sighs and takes a sip of whisky, scowling at the taste.

“Hi. John Walker.”

Angel quirks a brow as he walks up to the Dora Milaje, holding out a hand. He receives no handshake nor a verbal reply.

“Well, uh,” John holds out his arms. “Let’s put down the pointy sticks and we can talk this through, huh?”

“Hey, John, take it easy,” Sam says, a frustrated smile on his face. “You might want to fight Bucky before you tangle with the Dora Milaje.”

John rolls his eyes.

“The Dora Milaje don’t have jurisdiction here.”

Angel internally winces. She may not have expected this, but she knows this won’t end well.

“The Dora Milaje had jurisdiction wherever the Dora Milaje find themselves to be.”

“Okay.” John scoffs. “I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

“John,” Angel warns. “You really should shut up right now.”

Her warning falls on deaf ears as he places his hand on the woman’s armor.

Within the blink of an eye, a fight ensues.

She observes from afar, deciding it was best that she doesn’t involve herself.

Her drink is placed on the counter as she walks over to Sam and Bucky.

She stands back with an amused look while John faces off with the Dora Milaje.

Sounds of clanging metal and fighting echo throughout the room.

“Do I have your permission to join them? Any excuse to fight Walker is a good excuse.”

She whispers to Bucky.

“Best you stay out of it and enjoy the show.” He whispers back.

Sam turns to them.

“We should do something.”

“Looking strong, John” Bucky yells over the fighting and Angel claps a hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh.

“Bucky.” Sam scolds.

In the corner of her eye, she spots Zemo reaching for his coat.

He’s making a run for it. And she’s not letting him get away.

Before the doors of the bathroom close, she wedges her foot in between them.

“You’re not going anywhere.” She glares at him.

Zemo sighs.

“I really liked you. So please don’t take this personally.”

He pulls her through the doors as they close and slams her head against the edge of the tub.

She tenderly touches her forehead and winces.

“You son of a bitch.”

“I need to visit my home.” He says as dark spots form in her vision. “Just one last time. I hope you understand.”

All she can do is lie there, head on the tile, as her vision fades to black.

…

She wakes up with a concerned Bucky hovering over her.

“Oh, doll,” He murmurs, brushing his fingers over the developing bruise on her forehead. “I shouldn’t have strung you along.”

“It’s okay, Bucky.” She murmurs, pain rushing through her head.

“Now I’ve dragged you into this… this mess-”

“Hey, hey.” She sits up and cradles his face in her hands. “If I didn’t want to be here, I would’ve gone back to Amsterdam right after what happened in Madripoor.” He looks down, refusing to meet her eyes. “Bucky,” She lifts his chin with her finger. “Look at me. I’m here on my own accord. I want to be here. With you.”

Sam walks over to them and hands her a wrapped ice pack.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, yeah.” She accepts it and places the cool towel against her head. “What time is it? How long was I out?”

“For a few hours,” Sam answers her. “You hit your head really hard.”

“What’s next, what else do you need me to do?”

“No,” Sam shakes his head. “You aren’t going anywhere. You need to rest.”

“I’m fine.” she stands but Bucky places an arm on her shoulder, pushing her back onto the bed. “Guys, I let Zemo get away, I need to-”

“Hey,” Sam crouches down next to her. “I meant what I said, about you being helpful. And Zemo getting away isn’t your fault. Stay here and rest. I just don’t want you to be putting yourself in danger.”

“He’s right.” Bucky agrees. “You need to take care of yourself, doll.”

“I can handle it.” She struggles against Bucky’s hold on her. “I promise. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Hey,” Sam places his hand gently on her forearm. “We don’t know if you had a concussion, but concussion or no concussion, we’re not letting you endanger yourself.”

She lies back down on the bed and shuts her eyes, giving in.

“Fine. Just don’t get hurt.”

…

She lies there for what feels like hours, staring at the ceiling, reading her book, drawing in her sketchbook. But when she turns to the clock, it’s only been twenty minutes

She’s bored. And nothing good comes out of being bored.

You’re the only one who’s made me feel human.

God, why did she say that?

Why was she feeling this way?

Despite their hostile reunion

An angel? Sure. But not the angel Bucky thinks she is.

She wasn’t like the beautiful angels hanging in the Louvre. Ones who brought peace and lights. She was the angel the world had painted her to be. One of death, rage, and destruction.

How could he ever see her as an angel? How could he show her this gentle, tender love that no one else has?

Does he love her?

Does she love him?

“Love.” She mutters to herself. “Such a funny word.”

She doesn’t even know what love is. How could she know what Bucky has been showing her is love? The gentle touches, calling her Angel, holding her close when they fall asleep. That was love, right?

Deciding that her thoughts have gone too far, she reaches into her bag to find an orange bottle of sleeping pills. She changes out of her dress and reaches for Bucky’s dark red henley that was bunched up on the floor.

Her nose buries into the fabric as she inhales his woodsy smell.

With a sigh, she pulls it over her head and walks to the bathroom to wash off her makeup.

Her fingers roll the pale pink pill between her fingers. Deciding whether or not sleep was worth it.

Finally, she just decides to take the pill, swallowing it dry and a grimace crosses her face at the bitter taste.

She lies down, covered in Bucky’s smell, and closes her eyes.

…

Angel doesn’t know where she is.

Well, she does. The house is still the same, only this time, it was up in flames.

Screams echo around her.

“Look at what you’ve done!” They tell her, voices distorted.

“Monster!”

“Devil!”

“Evil!”

She turns around to face a woman in a black dress, her face obscured by a matching veil.

“Oh, my dear.” She says, voice croaking and broken. “Why didn’t you save me? Why did you leave me there to die?”

“I-” Angel stammers. “I’m sorry.”

The woman sinks to the ground and Angel runs after her, crouching down to see where she went.

When she stands, she sees that she’s surrounded by broken mirrors.

No matter where she looked, she was faced with her distorted reflection.

“Look at yourself!” The voices return. “Look at what you are!”

“No!” She screams back. “No! No! No!”

A force knocks her onto her knees and she sees that the floor has turned into a mirror as well.

The fire burns her, making her skin peel.

She claws at her face, trying to peel the reddening skin away and she scrambles back when it reveals the cracked gray skin.

“This is who you are!” They scream.

“Stop!” She sobs. “Shut up!”

Angel looks down at her hands, fingernails growing into long black claws. When she looks up, she screams at her appearance.

Her soft, glowing skin and peeled away to reveal a pale, ghostly face. Her eyes, once bright, are now pools of black.

“You’re a monster!” A different voice booms throughout the room.

“Mama?” She whimpers. “Mama, is that you?”

“You were always the bad seed. You were always filled with darkness. Evil.”

“No Mama!” She cries. “Mama, please! I’m sorry!”

The mirrored floor cracks around her.

“I never wanted you! I should’ve killed you the second you came out of me!”

Angel scrambles around the mirrored room, avoidant the cracks around her feet.

"And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea,”

“Stop!” Angel covers her ears.

But her mother’s voice is louder “having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy."

“Angel?”

“Please stop!” She begs her mother.

“Angel! Wake up!”

“Angel!”

She screams, batting her arms, trying to push anyone and anything out of her path.

“Get away from me!” Her voice is hoarse from screaming. “I’ll only hurt you.”

“Angel,” Bucky places his metal hand against her heated skin. “Angel, you’re okay, you’re safe. You aren’t going to hurt anyone.”

Tears stream down her face as she meets Bucky’s gentle, blue eyes.

“Bucky?” She shakily whispers.

“Yeah, it’s me. It’s Bucky.” He gently rubs at her cheek with his thumb. “You were having a nightmare.”

She reaches out with a shaky hand and places it against Bucky’s cheek, rubbing at his stubble.

She needed to know he was actually there. She needed to know that he was real.

As her sleep-clouded vision clears, she sees the bruises and cuts on Bucky’s face and she starts crying again.

“Oh, Bucky,” She pulls her hand away. “Did I do this to you?”

“No, no you didn’t, doll.” He gently smiles at her and presses a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Then who did this to you?” She whispers.

“Sam and I had to get the shield back. John decided to get a little scrappy but I’ll be okay.” He moves her sweaty hair out of her face. “I have enhanced healing, remember?”

Angel gives him a shaky nod and burrows her face into his chest.

A loud sob leaves her lips as she shakes in his arms.

“Oh doll,” he coos at her, reaching his flesh hand under her (well his) shirt and tracing his fingers up and down her back. “Shh. It’s okay, honey. You’ll be okay.”

When her sobs subside and she’s left a shaking form in his arms, Bucky presses a kiss on the top of her head.

She looks up and sees Sam peaking at them from over his shoulder.

He’s got a look of sympathy in his eyes.

“Nightmare?” He asks.

Her throat hurts too much to speak so Bucky answers for her.

“Mhm.”

Sam walks over to them and places a glass of water on the nightstand.

He takes a seat next to them and places a supportive hand on her shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Angel shakes her head. Talking wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want to burden them further.

“Sam?” She quietly asks. “Can I have a hug?”

“Of course.”

Sam wraps his arm tightly around the both of them and rubs Angel’s back.

“I don’t know what you’re dealing with, and I don’t know what you’ve gone through, but I just want to let you know that it’s okay to feel weak.”

He gives Bucky a gentle look.

“I’m, uh, I’m headed back to Louisiana in a few hours. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

Sam gives Bucky a soft pat on the back and turns to Angel.

“And if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you. So is Bucky.”

When Sam leaves, the crying returns. She’s much too tired to sob, but silent tears stream down her face, wetting Bucky’s soft t-shirt.

“Come on, doll. Let’s sleep.”

She vehemently shakes her head. Not wanting the nightmares to return.

��No, no.” Her breathing quickens. “I- I don’t want to. I’m scared.”

“Okay, okay.” He strokes her back. “Let’s just stay like this for a while.”

They sit in silence, holding onto each other. She feels vulnerable, weak, and tired. Oh, so tired. All the years of building up her walls, pushing people away, destroying anything good in her path, had finally caught up to her.

She wants to strip her skin away and emerge as a new person. She wants to open up her body. Take out all of the ugly, the evil, the darkness, and stitch herself back up. She wants to destroy herself.

And maybe, after she pays the price in her own blood, she can finally be good.

This world wasn’t made for her, she thinks, and though she gave up on faith a long time ago, she thinks that after all the things she’s done, she’ll never end up in heaven.

And having Bucky here? Having him hold her, and caress her, and call her his Angel?

That was the closest to heaven that she’ll ever get.

Bucky pulls her back to reality when he lifts her chin up.

“I have an idea.” He smiles. “Now, I haven’t done this since 1943, but why don’t we dance?” He helps her stand up and brushes her hair back.

Angel looks away from him bashfully.

“I- I don’t really know how to dance.”

“Here.” He hands her his phone, Spotify open on his screen. “You pick the music and I’ll show you how. It’s really easy.”

“Should it be a 40s song?” She mumbles.

“No.” He smiles and shakes his head. “It can be any song that you like. I just wanna make you feel better, doll.”

She quietly browses through his song library and then, turns to the search bar.

“Here you go,” she hands it back to him. “I think you’ll like this one.”

“Sign of the Times.” He chuckles. “Can you dance to it?”

She shrugs.

“I hope so.”

Bucky places his hands on her waist and pulls her close to him.

“Okay, Angel, so I’m just going to hold your right hand like this.” He intertwined his right hand with hers and raised it to his shoulder. “And your left hand goes on my life shoulder.”

As she places her left hand against the metal of his shoulder, Bucky keeps his left hand on her waist.

“Now what?” She quietly asks.

“Now, we just sway.”

He quickly unlinks their fingers to press play on the song.

As the sounds of a piano fill the room, Bucky starts swaying and Angel follows along.

Just stop your crying

It's a sign of the times

Welcome to the final show

Hope you're wearing your best clothes

“You were right, I do like this song.”

“You do?”

“Mhm.”

You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky

You look pretty good down here

But you ain't really good

If we never learn, we been here before

Why are we always stuck and running from

The bullets?

The bullets

Angel closes her eyes and allows herself to rest her head on his chest. Even with the music playing, she can hear the quiet thumping of his heart. It calms her. She relaxes her shoulders and smiles, humming along to the song. Bucky holds her tighter as the chorus approaches.

Just stop your crying

It's a sign of the times

We gotta get away from here

Just stop your crying

It'll be alright

They told me that the end is near

We gotta get away from here

Just stop your crying

Have the time of your life

Breaking through the atmosphere

And things are pretty good from here

Remember everything will be alright

We can meet again somewhere

Somewhere far away from here

Peace. She feels at peace in Bucky’s arms. He is her sanctuary and she hopes that she can be his.

We never learn, we been here before

Why are we always stuck and running from

The bullets?

The bullets

We never learn, we been here before

Why are we always stuck and running from

The bullets?

The bullets

She hopes that this won’t be temporary. She hopes that this moment can last forever, being held by him.

Just stop your crying

It's a sign of the times

We gotta get away from here

Stop your crying

Baby, it'll be alright

But even though she can hope, she knows it won’t last forever. Bucky, this man, this man who is filled with good, even with all he’s been through, never let that good fade away. He will see her for who she truly is, how she was never good. He will see how she was born with darkness and he will see how the darkness overtook her.

They told me that the end is near

We gotta get away from here

We never learn, we been here before

Why are we always stuck and running from

The bullets?

The bullets

We never learn, we been here before

Why are we always stuck and running from

The bullets?

The bullets

We don't talk enough

We should open up

Before it's all too much

Will we ever learn?

We've been here before

It's just what we know

“I’m…” Her voice wobbles. “I’m a monster.”

“You’re not a monster.” He places a kiss on the top of her head. “You were never a monster.”

Stop your crying, baby

It's a sign of the times

We gotta get away

We got to get away

“I’ve killed a lot of people, Bucky.”

“So have I.”

We got to get away

“But you didn’t have a choice. I did.”

We got to, we got to, away

The music comes to an end and Angel pulls Bucky over to the bed.

“Have you ever thought about what you’ll do after you stop?” He asks her. “You know, when you retire, I guess.”

She sighs.

“I’m not sure. I have enough money to live a quiet life in Paris. That’s the closest I have to a retirement plan.”

“When will that be?”

Angel lies down.

“I’m not sure.”

Bucky braces his arms around her head.

“We’ll figure it out. Okay?”

“Okay.” She pulls him in for a heated kiss. “But first, I want to feel you.”

Her hands cradle his face and she kisses every cut and bruise on his face.

“My sweet Angel. You’re too kind to me.”

He litters kisses down her neck, onto her collarbones, down her sternum, and onto her scar.

“So beautiful. So, so beautiful.” He murmurs.

Angel cards her hands through his soft hair as he rests his head on her lower stomach.

She giggles when he nuzzles at her tummy.

“Tickles.”

“Can’t help it. You look so pretty in my shirt. I just want to make you feel pretty.”

He places his fingers along the waistband of her panties.

“Can I?”

“Mhm”

As he pulls them down her legs and kisses along her thighs, she reaches out with her free hand and links her flesh fingers with his metal ones.

He’s gentle with her this time.

She can’t speak, only gasping his name. She arches her back and pushes her hips closer to him, silently begging for more.

Instead of teasing her, he gives her what she wants. Never forced her to beg.

He handles her delicately like she’s made of glass.

He calls her sweet names, doll Angel, honey, as he licks into her. Her moans are soft and sweet.

He coaxes an orgasm after orgasm out of her and she lays back, relishing in the pleasure, in the love he gives her.

It feels like heaven.

He feels like heaven.

And when he unbuckles his belt and pushes inside of her, he is still gentle, slowly rocking himself back and forth.

Though she’s still sore from the night before, the pain never overpowers the pleasure.

She wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, silently telling him that he is hers and much as she is his.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.” He groans into her neck. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you too.” She pants. “You make me feel human. You’re the only one who’s made me feel human, Bucky.” This time, she wants him to hear her. She wants him to know.

The skin on skin contact, feeling his body pressed against hers, it’s all everything she’s ever wanted. It’s everything she’s ever needed.

“You’re mine.” He rocks his hips faster. “You're my Angel. Say it to me.”

“I’m yours. I’m your Angel.”

She doesn’t think she can cum one more time, but she does. Walls clenching around him, making him gasp with pleasure.

“I’m…” he murmurs against her lips. “I’m gonna cum.”

She presses her lips against his.

“Come on, cum for me, my love.”

…

Bucky quickly fell asleep. Tired from the fighting and tired from the fucking.

Angel spends the rest of the night caressing his face and playing with his fingers.

They spent only a few days together but she’s been able to fall for him in this short time.

Though she doesn’t know what love feels like, she thinks she loves him.

Being with him, it’s changed her.

She knows that she’ll eventually have to leave, go back to Amsterdam. He’ll go back to New York.

They will be apart again for who knows how long.

But she doesn’t want that to happen so now, all she can do is live in the moment, and pretend that they can live in this moment forever.

“I love you.” She whispers. “I love you, James Bucky Barnes.

…

On the drive to the Sokovia memorial, they’re quiet. But it’s a comfortable silence. They listen to Bucky’s 40s music and admire the scenery.

She’s decided that she doesn’t want to kill anymore. At least not kill as much.

She’ll settle down somewhere. Somewhere on her own. In her fantasies, it would be with Bucky, but realistically, she thinks, it’s best that she’s on her own.

“I’ve been thinking, when this is over, we’ll go back to Amsterdam.” He says, breaking the silence “You can pack all of your things and you can stay with me. In Brooklyn.”

Her heart stops. He wants to go home. He wants to go home and take her with him.

“I’ve never been to New York.” She says over the sound of Dream A Little Dream of Me.

“I’ll show you around.” He turns to look at her. “We can start a new life together. I- I know someone you can talk to. Someone who can help you work through whatever you’ve been through.”

It’s too good to be true. Yet every part of her urges her to accept his offer.

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“You don’t need to give me an answer now, and you don’t have to come back with me immediately, but know that I’ll be waiting for you.”

She sighs.

“Bucky, you have so much in you. You have all this love, this kindness, this goodness. I don’t want to be the person that ruins it all for you.”

He pulls the car over.

“Sweet Angel,” he caresses her face. “You could never do that. You-“ he looks down and takes her hand. “I believe that you have the same good inside of you. You just don’t know it yet.”

She looks away at him, eyes finding the memorial in the distance. Maybe he’s right. Maybe she does have that goodness inside of her. She just needs time to find it.

“You sound so sure of yourself.”

“I am sure. Yes, you actively chose to kill, but the people you killed? They aren’t good people. They’re people who had no qualms about harming others to get their way. Do I agree with killing them? No, but you did what you thought was right.”

She shakes her head.

“It’s not the fact I kill people for money that makes me a bad person, Bucky. It’s what I did that got me that job.”

“So what did you do then?”

Angel gulps, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I don’t remember much because I was a kid. I… I don’t really like talking about it.”

“Hey,” He tilts her head towards him. “Look at me.”

She averts her gaze, shame bubbling inside of her.

“Angel,” Bucky’s tone is more authoritative now. “I need you to look at me.” She finally allows her eyes to meet his. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s alright. There are things I’ve done that I don’t want to talk about either.”

Angel nudges her cheek deeper into his hand, wanting to feel more of the contact.

“I want to believe that I’m good, and I want to believe that I won’t hurt you.” She bites her lip, no longer wanting to discuss the subject. “We can talk about this later. Right now, I think you have some unfinished business.

…

Angel went back to Amsterdam alone.

The two had gone to the airport together, bags packed, and hand in hand, but after Bucky had gone to buy a cup of coffee, she disappeared.

She didn’t leave him empty-handed. She went to the airport toy store and bought a small brown bear. When the stomach was pressed, Bucky could hear her voice say “I’ll come back to you. I promise. Love, your Angel.”

He had found it in his duffel bag along with a small bottle of apple cinnamon body wash and a note written on a napkin.

I hope you won’t be mad that I left you, but if you are, I understand.

I need to figure things out, tie up some loose strings before I find a lasting home. Maybe a lasting home in New York.

But I promise you, I’ll see you again. And I never break my promises.

I hope you’ll wait for me.

I love you, Bucky

He felt his heart shatter, but he understood. She needed time.

So he went home, back to his Brooklyn apartment. And he waited.

When he woke up, he waited.

When he’d listen to the voice in the bear, he waited.

When he’d go get lunch with Yori, he waited.

When he went to Louisiana to help Sam with the boat, he waited.

“Did you find your Angel?” Sam had asked him, looking out into the sunset.

“Not yet.” Bucky had replied.

Even after the events in Lower Manhattan, he still waited.

For days on end, he waited. Constantly checking his phone, calling Sharon, scouring through European newspapers, looking for any sign of her.

But he found nothing.

He wanted to give up, but a small part of him knew that Angel would come back. He could feel it deep within him.

She made him a promise.

Five Months Later

Angel stares at the red water rush down the shower drain, the metallic stench of blood permeating throughout the bathroom.

There was so much of it, not even her body wash could cover the smell.

She had said ‘one last kill’ three days after she stepped foot back in Amsterdam. And then she had said it again three kills later.

And now that her body count had reached a perfect two fifty, maybe this would be her last kill.

Two fifty was a good number, she thinks as she pulls Bucky’s red henley over her head. A good number to stop at.

The buzzing of her phone turns her attention away from the soft fabric.

She picks it up, brow furrowing at the ‘unknown number’.

Cautiously, she answers.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me, Sharon.”

Angel stands.

“Sharon? How did you get my number?”

“I was a hustler in Madripoor. I have my ways. Don’t worry though, I’m using a burner phone.”

“Why are you calling me?”

There’s the sound of a refrigerator opening and closing from Sharon’s end of the line.

“I just want to let you know I’ve been pardoned.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“And I’m back in the CIA.”

“Congratulations.” Angel’s voice is tinged with sarcasm. “Now you’ve got an entire database of American government secrets at your disposal. Have fun with that.”

Sharon laughs.

“You know me too well. Which is surprising considering that we spent less than twenty-four hours together.”

“Well, knowing how to read people is a part of being an assasin.”

There’s a sigh on the other line.

“I don’t want you to panic, but there’s word that MI6 reopened your case.”

Angel closes her eyes and pulls the top of Bucky’s henley over her nose. In the beginning, when she had left him at the airport, she had taken the shirt with her. After a really bad job, or when she needed to feel okay, she'd bury her nose into the fabric and inhale, clinging onto the only piece of him she had with her.

But his smell had started to fade away and it filled her with sadness.

“So you’re telling me that they’ll come for me.”

“I doubt they’ll find you. After our talk in Madripoor, I managed to erase almost all of their progress. Still, I just wanted you to know.”

“Thanks.”

Silence fell in between them.

“So, what are you going to do now?”

Maybe it was time. Time to put her weapons down, pack her bags, and start over.

She thinks about Bucky’s offer. How he said that he would be waiting for her in Brooklyn. Maybe he’d still be waiting for her. Plus, she had made him a promise. She never broke her promises.

“I think it’s time to retire.”

...

Bucky had come home from late-night grocery shopping when he could smell the unmistakable scent of apple cinnamon body wash.

It could’ve been him. He found himself using it regularly. But this time, the smell was stronger. Sweeter.

He opens the door to his dark apartment, the only light coming from the city lights peeking through the curtains.

He quietly sets his bags down and turns on the lights. There, sitting on his kitchen counter is a cake box.

The fancy gold script indicated it was from one of the expensive bakeries in Midtown.

He hesitantly approaches it and gently opens it, revealing a fancy white cake covered in delicate piping and rosettes.

In the center, iced in simple pink script were the words ‘Miss Me?’

She’s here. She kept her promise.

The sound of his front door closing made him jump.

He whips around to see Angel. His sweet angel, wearing the same pink dress from their last day in Latvia, leaning against the door, arms crossed, and a wide smile on her face.

“Hey, Bucky.” She chuckles. “Thanks for waiting.”

...

Once again, a huge thank you to @sojournmichael for being my beta read, check out her writing, it’s amazing <3

#bucky x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #tfatws

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galaxyofmyown · 4 years

Note

Okay so I just tripped and fell and ate sidewalk so! Maybe reader is helping hotch train for another marathon and they eat shit on the pavement??

oh my god. oh my GOD. this request was so so so fun to write. it’s just so fresh and fluffy and yayyy. and i’m actually very proud of myself for this one. if i’m honest YES i did write me and my friend in as a cameo because we were in dc yesterday morning making fun of all the runners, so i felt it needed to be done. i hope you love it and i’m sorry that i know nothing about running.

warnings: language, cheesy-ass confession

aaron hotchner x reader - marathoners

“I have a theory.” You pant, huffing and puffing as you struggle to keep up with Aaron Hotchner, your boss and King of Quarter-Zips.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” He replies over his shoulder, and you resent how even his voice sounds after 6 miles. Six. Fucking. Miles.

“I think you’re evil. I think you’re an evil little man with evil little powers who magically coerced me into training for this stupid marathon with you.”

Hotch laughs, and your resentment grows. If you laughed right now you would probably pass out.

“And why, do you theorize, would I use my assuredly limited powers to make myself listen to you complain all morning, every morning?”

“Because you’re obsessed with me. You can’t get enough of me. You would hear me give a four hour lecture on my favorite sedimentary rock if it meant you could hear my sweet, sweet voice.” You tease, and Hotch looks at you, two-thirds amused, one-third… something else.

Your profiling game was off this morning.

“Whatever you say, (Y/L/N).” He retorts, and you groan.

“Can you please, please, please stop calling me by my last name? It makes me feel like a high school football player.”

“Fine, (Y/N).” He says cheekily, dragging your name out in a way that makes your stomach twirl.

“Okay, well, since you’re in such a compliant mood do you think we could stop running? And then also never run ever again?” Hotch laughs again, and his good mood lifts your spirits. It always does. He checks his watch graciously.

“Five minute break.” He says, and you immediately fall onto a nearby bench. Hotch joins you but doesn’t sit, taking this time to stretch a bit.

“(Y/N), you should also use this time to-”

“No.” You say with a smile, letting the light breeze cool your overheated face.

“But-”

“Hotch?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut. Up.”

He hits his foot against yours, more of a playful nudge than a kick, and you bask in the short moment of contact.

You secretly love running with Hotch. The actual running part is… eh. But the Hotch part is great. You can rarely convince him to spend time with the team outside of work, so you jumped at the opportunity when he offered to train with you for the next marathon. But it also made you wonder.

“Hotch?” You ask again, cracking your eyes open. His body is blocking most of the annoying morning sun shining onto you, and you fleetingly wonder if he was doing that on purpose.

Hotch nods to show he’s listening even as his fiddles with his fancy running watch.

“You know Morgan runs, right?” You ask casually, fiddling with the hem of the oversized t-shirt you wore with your favorite leggings. Hotch looks up.

“Uh, yeah. I think I remember him mentioning it. Why?” He says, uber casual. You shrug.

“I’m just wondering why you chose to train with me when I obviously slow you down.”

“You don’t slow me down-”

“Oh, please. Remember the day I had a cold and couldn’t get up that morning? I heard you telling JJ how much you ran. I can’t get close to that on my best day.”

“Well, that’s why. Challenging you challenges me.”

“That makes literally no sense, but alright big guy. I’m ready to keep going.” You say, standing up despite the pain in your legs.

“We don’t have to if you’re too tired.” Hotch’s voice sounds distant all of a sudden.

“No, I really don’t mind. As long as you buy me breakfast after. Let’s go. We’ll run to the Capitol building and then back around to the smoothie place you like.”

You start off without him, focusing on the sound of your feet hitting the pavement. You hear him trailing after you, and you run the crosswalk to the National Mall, the sand and small rocks crunching under your feet as you brave the rectangle of pain.

Hotch, of course, passes you easily, and after a bit you’re back to lagging 20 feet behind him. It rained fairly hard last night, and the ground is slushy like half melted snow. As Hotch turns in front of the Capitol Building, you opt for the marble-esque surface that separates the grass from the sand in an attempt to cut a bit of the corner.

You regret your decision immediately. The damp toe of your running shoe catches on the white material and you slip, your body slamming into the ground not two seconds later. You break your fall with your forearms, but the sting of gravel digging into your skin makes you wince.

“(Y/N)!” You hear a voice call, and now you officially want to die. You had briefly forgotten about your boss, your crush, the witness to your awkward fall. But now he was right in front of you, squatting down to make sure you’re okay. So you do what you always do when you find yourself in a painfully awkward situation.

You laugh.

It’s loud, and some of the other 6 am joggers shoot you odd looks. But it seems to make some of Hotch’s worry dissolve.

“You okay?” He asks with a small smile. Grabbing your hand to help you up. You nod, still giggling, and ignore the way your hand feels like it’s been set ablaze.

“Yeah, I’m fi-”

Except you don’t get to finish your sentence. Hotch takes a step back as he pulls you up and his foot makes contact with the same demon marble from which you met your demise. He slips backwards, yanking you with him.

You fall back together, fortunately hitting the grass. Hotch is under you to break your fall, which is a good thing until you realize you’re on top of him, one leg slotted between his.

Hotch clearly had the breath knocked out of him, and he groans, which, okay. It is clearly not the time for a noise like that.

“Oops.” You say, moving to get off of him. As you adjust yourself, you find your face is positioned directly over his, just inches apart.

How cliche.

Hotch, regaining his bearings, looks right into your eyes. You stop breathing for a moment. It isn’t often you get a free opportunity to just look at Hotch, but both of you have stopped moving. You admire his dark eyes, his slightly flushed cheeks, his strong nose. You wonder if he’s admiring anything about you.

(He is.)

You snap out of your reverie and realize how uncomfortable you must be making your superior feel.

“Sorry, sorry,” You say, embarrassed, and roll over to the side as gracefully as you can manage. You’re off of him but your thigh is still pressed against his hip, so you go to scooch away. He gently grabs your wrist before you can, however. Your breath catches as he runs his thumb over the irritated skin where you arm hit the ground.

“You know why I really invited you to train with me?” He asks, seemingly resigned to just… being on the ground now. You twist towards him and adjust so you’re sitting cross-legged, curiosity piqued.

“Why?”

Hotch sighs and makes a face. It’s the same face he makes when he’s about to say something he really doesn’t want to say.

“I wanted to see you. Outside of work. I just… I never had an excuse.”

You frown, confused, “We always invite you out with us. You never come.” You say, not in a mean way, because it’s just the truth.

Hotch falters and props himself up on his elbows. He isn’t looking at you anymore, his eyes steadily trained on the building before us.

“I don’t want to see you in a crowded bar surrounded by our coworkers. I wanted- I wanted to be alone with you.” He confesses, and you freeze.

“What do you mean?” You say quietly. Because you think you know what he means. But you need him to tell you what he means because if he doesn’t mean what you think he means you’ll fling yourself into the Tidal Basin.

“(Y/N), I know you aren’t oblivious, and I know I’m not subtle. I’ve liked you since you first walked in the door to the BAU.” He says, finally, and you want to cry and dance and-

and kiss him.

Which you should probably do, since Hotch has obviously taken your silence as rejection and looks like a kicked puppy.

So you pull him in by the collar of his quarter-zip, kissing him enthusiastically on the mouth. He responds after a moment of brain failure, placing one hand on your thigh and the other on your waist. You know it must look ridiculous for two fully grown FBI agents to be making out like teenagers on the lawn of the National Mall before 7 a.m., but you couldn’t care less. Because it was you and Hotch, a glowing light after all these years of pain and loss and longing. You pull away after a long while, both of you giddy and smiley and bright-eyed.

“You too?” He asks like he can hardly believe it.

“Of course me too, always me too,” you respond, “even when you make me run.”

He laughs, kissing you again, to which you respond enthusiastically. Hotch pulls away and moves his mouth close to your ear.

“We have some onlookers at three o’clock.” He murmurs, and you slowly turn your head to see two girls, not older than 20, trying to enjoy their picnic barely 15 feet away. One of the girls scoffs.

“And people think we’re weird.” She says. The other girl nods, and they go back to eating their breakfast. You laugh.

“Okay, yeah, maybe they have a point.” You say, getting up and brushing the grass off the back of your t-shirt. Hotch does the same.

“Okay, so what do you say, two more miles before the smoothie place?” He asks, and you laugh in disbelief.

“You never learn, do you? No. We’re walking, let’s go.” You say, grabbing his hand because you can now. He surrenders, entwining your fingers and swing you arm slightly as you stroll.

“Aaron?” You ask, trying on the unfamiliar name for size.

“Yes, (Y/N?)”

“Now that you don’t need an excuse to see me, do we still have to do the marathon?” You ask, tone casual. Hotch laughs and bumps his shoulder against yours.

“(Y/N), (Y/N). Have you no shame? Actually, don’t answer that.” He says.

“I”m not hearing a no.” You say.

“We’ll talk about it. Later.” But he kisses you on the forehead, so you take it as a win either way.

(You end up agreeing to run the marathon. It’s awful and hot and long but when it’s over Hotch is still there with you, kissing you and smiling and promising that you never have to run again in your life. So you think it’s worth it.)

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #ssa hotchner #hotch #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotch imagine

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mazzy-moon · 3 years

Text

A Lone Butterfly - Chapter 14

Title of Chapter: Hide Out

Word Count: 2.6k (mostly smut)

Warnings/Tags: Explicit Language, Significantly younger ofc, Smut, Foreplay, Sex

Pairing: Javier Peña (Narcos) x Isabel Cotrille (OFC)

Summary: After Javier leaves, Isabel's anger and frustration with him grow. Later, she and Javier are forced to confront each other, finally acknowledging the tension that's been building between them.

Notes: I didn’t want to give away everything in the warnings, but this chapter contains explicit sexual content. 18+ only, please.

This ended up taking me way longer to write than I imagined...

Hope you enjoy reading this. It’s a good one. x

Read it on ao3

It doesn't take long before Javier has left and Sanz shows up. I'm furious. He knows what the cartel did to me better than anyone, yet still he's forced me here against my will. I might as well go back to Oregon. I would be put back into Witness Protection, but at least I'd be more free than I am now.

I can tell Sanz isn't exactly enthusiastic about the baby sitting job she's been assigned, but she tries to hide it somewhat out of consideration.

"You know, he's only doing this for your own good."

"Don't start."

"But he's right. If you go and get yourself tangled up in this, we'll have an even bigger mess on our hands."

"I know." Arguing with her would be useless.

_______________

The day passes agonizingly slowly as I sit with my anger, unable to do anything about it. I try thinking about what I'll say to Javier when he comes back. Maybe I won't even say anything. I've never been a violent person, but I think if Javier were here right now I would slap him for putting me in such a position of helplessness. He said he trusted me once, though it's clear that can no longer be true.

At one point I try to lure Sanz out of the room by feigning hunger. She doesn't take the bait, and instead has food brought to us. I switch on the television in an effort to distract myself.

After a while, I've stopped counting the hours as they pass. The light outside suggests night is not far off. Worry starts to trickle in. Not for the first time today I wonder what Javier's team uncovered at the location. Did they arrive only to find out Matías lied to them? Was it a a set up? Despite my anger at him, I'm anxious to see Javier, to know he's okay. I get up from my seat on the couch, suddenly restless, and start pacing the room.

Sanz's phone rings and she steps outside to answer it. Once she's back, her calm demeanor from before is gone.

"Pack up your things. Peña's on his way and wants you ready to go once he gets here."

"But why-"

"You're not safe here any longer, just do as he says."

Fear replaces my anger. I don't argue with her.

Soon after my things are all stuffed into the suitcase, Javier crashes through the door. He barely looks at me before hauling my luggage in one arm and tugging me out the door with the other.

"C'mon," he says, his voice rough. "We've gotta get out of here now. The cartel knows you're in Columbia."

My eyes go wide as I allow him to lead me to the waiting car. He throws my things in the back before placing me in the passenger seat. He explains the details to me as we're driving.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"The Embassy's got a place a ways out, a hide out. You'll stay there until we get the cartel under control."

"So he was lying."

"Not entirely. When we got to the location, some of Matías's men were there. They ambushed us. Somehow, they must have found out we were coming. There's no way that's where they're keeping the girls though."

"How do they know I'm here?"

Javier's looks out the window, despondent.

"I went back to Matías's cell after the ambush, to confront him. During our... chat, he revealed that he and his gang knew the moment you arrived. Somehow, he's had eyes on you the entire time."

"Why not just send me back to Oregon?"

"We can't be sure they won't track you there also. They already have once. For whatever reason, whoever is operating this cartel is hell bent on getting to you."

I remain silent, stunned. How has the cartel been able to track my movements so closely? More importantly, why bother? They've already replaced me with at least a dozen other girls.

Javier and I drive for hours until it's well past dark. We pull up to a dirt road and drive down it for what seems like an eternity. As we near a little cottage, I notice a river bank running not far off. The car comes to a halt just in front of the house and Javier steps out to get me. The place looks like a setting for a horror movie, but I say nothing as we walk inside.

_______________

Now that the panic has settled somewhat, I remember the rage I felt from before. I remember the rough way in which he spoke to me, the way his hands dug into my arms as he tried to reason with me. And then, the door slamming behind him as he left, locking me inside. Deep down, I know he was only trying to protect me, but it still hurt. I wanted to be useful, wanted to help the women who were now in the same position I was once in. It seemed, though, I wasn't going to get that chance.

He flips the lights on and locks the door behind him. The place is surprisingly cozy.

"Are we safe here?"

"It's secure. Only a small number of people know this place even exists."

There's a tense silence between us as I consider bringing up what took place this morning. The events of the evening have made it seem less important. Before I decide, he beats me to it.

"I know you're still mad about this morning, Isabel."

I refuse to respond to him, so he continues.

"Just so you know, I wouldn't have done what I did if I didn't think it was the only way to keep you safe. If I had to, I would do it again."

My eyes meet his finally and I know he can see the defiance in them.

"I know you hate me for it. As long as I know I'm keeping my promise to look after you, you can hate me all you want."

I remain silent for a moment before responding.

"I don't hate you, Javi." I stare down at my hands, suddenly unable to keep eye contact as I make my confession. "I don't think I ever could. I just... don't like feeling like that. Helpless."

I glance back up to him, and his expression breaks me. Unable to control it, and annoyed that I can't, my eyes begin to water. I quickly look back down at my hands.

The floorboards creak as he closes the distance between us. He towers over me as he gently grabs hold of my upper arms.

"You're not helpless, Isabel. You never have been. Even when you were captured, you found a way out. It was you who took Matías's eye from him. You've always been strong. And brave. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be protected."

My throat closes up as his words warm me. Somehow he knew exactly what I needed to hear. I feel guilty for ever doubting him. I want to respond, but can't seem to figure out how.

He holds my face in his hands and brushes my tears off with his thumbs.

"Shh, baby, don't cry."

He pulls me into a hug. His smoky scent hits me and I feel instantly better. Clinging to him, I savor the strong feel of his arms around me. The urgency of our situation combined with our close proximity causes an overwhelming sweep of emotion to wash over me. I tilt my head, meeting my lips with the edge of exposed skin at his collar.

He groans. "Isabel."

I ignore him and go for his mouth instead. He beats me to it. His lips meet mine, gentle at first. He deepens the kiss almost instantly, and I feel his tongue sweep against mine. Not breaking contact, he backs me up until I'm flush with the wall.

As our mouths explore each other with tongue and teeth, his arms leave me to remove the leather jacket from his body. He comes back to me as soon as it hits the floor. His arms roam my stomach, back, and chest. As his hand comes up to gently grasp the base of my throat, he shoves one of his legs upwards, between both of mine. I gasp in his mouth as warmth pools to my center. His mouth leaves mine, trailing down from my cheek to my neck. At the same time, his right hand travels up to my breast, grasping it over my dress. My hips move involuntarily against his thigh. The friction causes a deep ache within me and I whimper at the sudden feeling of emptiness. Javier makes a sound that forces my hips to react again.

He places his hands on either side of them, holding me still. I open my mouth to protest, but before I can he hauls me up, forcing my legs around him. His lips meet my own once more as his tongue finds mine again. He backs away from the wall, aiming for the hallway. We don't break away from each other until we reach the bedroom and he sets me on my feet.

He leans down, moving his hands from my body up to my face.

"Isabel. If we don't stop now, I may not be able to," his eyes are closed as he utters the strained words.

"I just want you, Javi." I touch his jaw with my fingertips. "Please," I mutter, my voice breaking.

The single word that comes from him is barely a whisper.

"Fuck." He grabs my face once more and this time his mouth is gentle on mine, a stark contrast to the heated passion felt moments before. I fumble with his buttons, but his hands are quicker as he tugs off the shirt gracefully. I press my hands against his hard chest as his eyes study me. He holds me in his gaze as he removes my cardigan, leaving me in only the dress beneath it. He rubs one thin strap between two fingers.

"Is this okay?"

I nod, looking at him intently.

He pushes the strap down. The other one comes next until my sun dress falls to the wooden floor. There’s nothing under it except my panties. My arms fling to my chest in a sudden urge to cover myself up.

"Let me see you."

I allow him to guide my arms down back to my sides.

"It's not right," he mutters to himself as his eyes roam over my almost completely naked body.

I frown, suddenly insecure at his bizarre statement.

"It's not right that you're so beautiful, so sweet."

My cheeks warm at his praise.

"Lie down."

I back up until I reach the bed and allow him to push me back onto its softness. He props himself up on an elbow and continues to kiss me until I can't take it anymore. His hand lingers over my breasts- pinching, squeezing. Finally, he travels downward. He slips his hand underneath my panties, brushing over one spot in particular. When he removes his hand too soon, I softly groan in protest.

"Please," I gasp.

"I know what you want, Isabel, but you're not gonna rush me."

He moves then, leaving soft kisses down my abdomen until he's settled between my thighs. He doesn't waste time, pulling down my panties until their off and taking me into his mouth. When his tongue brushes against me the first time, my hands fly to my mouth. He breaks contact to look back up at me, and pulls my hands away.

"No," he says firmly, "I want to hear you."

He resumes his torture until the sensation becomes almost painful. His tongue moves against the sensitive area, faster then slow, bringing me closer and closer but never quite all the way. My hips writhe against him but he grabs hold of them, forcing me to stay still. The sounds that come from me are vulgar and if I were at all able, I would try and hide the moans escaping my lips. He doesn't stop until I practically beg him to.

"Javi, please. I can't- ," I manage to get out.

He lingers a few more seconds before crawling back up to me, his body hovering over my smaller frame.

He studies me, relishing my blushed and breathless state.

"I wasn't done yet, hermosa. I'll remember that later."

He kisses my mouth slowly. The obscenity of it makes our previous kisses seem ridiculously tame in comparison. As he deepens the kiss, he drops his hand once again. He brushes against the overly sensitive spot with his thumb and then eases a finger inside. As I moan into his mouth, I hear a groan escape him.

"You're so wet, Isabel."

My cheeks instantly heat as he says what is already obvious.

As he moves his finger slightly out and back in, the movements of his thumb slow, becoming even more tortuous. Once I'm nearly over the edge, he withdraws his hand and pushes off the bed, standing up.

He unfastens his pants and removes the rest of his clothing until he's completely bare. He stares down at me until my whole body is on fire.

“You’re beautiful like this, Isabel,” he says as his eyes take me in, ready and waiting for him.

His sheer manliness would terrify me if I didn't crave it so desperately. I let my eyes roam, ignoring my embarrassment. For as restrained as he's kept himself, it's clear he's been just as affected as I have.

He once again joins me on the bed, holding himself above me.

"Tell me if you want me to stop."

I nod, but he's not satisfied.

"Promise me."

"I promise."

He shifts his body until I feel his erection right between my thighs. I part my legs as he slowly glides into me. The feeling is almost too much at first. Sensing it, he stops, but I urge him on.

"No- don't stop," I whisper breathlessly.

Once he's all the way inside I lift my hips off the bed to meet his. We set a rhythm against each other and the tension continues to build within me.

I'm so close but can't quite seem to get there. He reaches his hand between our bodies to touch me, finally giving me the release I crave. I come undone around him, and he swallows my moans with his mouth.

Javier continues moving against me, his thrusts becoming more erratic. All at once, whatever control he had before just... snaps. He grabs hold of me, keeping me still, as he thrusts into me with unrestrained desperation. His groans become feral as he comes inside me.

He drops his head to the crook of my neck, catching his breath. Once he pieces himself back together, his hand grips the side of my face. His lips fumble around my cheeks until he kisses my mouth, then my nose.

"You okay?"

"Yeah... I think so."

He laughs softly, leaning over me and onto his side. He brushes wisps of hair back from my face with his hand.

"Stay here, I'll be right back."

Javier escapes to the bathroom and while he's gone, I pull back the covers. They feel impossibly cool against my heated skin. He returns and joins me once again on the bed. My eyelids begin to droop from exhaustion.

"I'm so sleepy," I say absent mindedly.

"Come here."

He pulls me to him, cushioning my head with one arm and draping the other around my side. The blissful aftermath of our night together lulls me to sleep almost instantly.

Just as I'm drifting off, Javier whispers something in my ear. I struggle to make out the words, but they escape along with my last thread of consciousness.

#javier pena #javier pena smut #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #narcos #narcos fanfiction #a lone butterfly series

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lifeofkaze · 3 years

Text

An Art of Balance #26

Orion Amari x MC

Word Count: ~ 3.100

_________________________________________

Chapter 26: The Right Path

After dropping Lizzie off at the Transfiguration classroom, Orion had found Murphy in their Common Room. In a stark contrast to the days leading up to their match, the circular room was pleasantly silent. The older students were nursing their hangovers while most of the younger ones were outside soaking in the sunshine.

Orion and Murphy had retreated to one of the reading nooks recessed in the masonry. A scroll of parchment lay in front of each of them and both had their brows furrowed in concentration as they tried to transfigure them into quills without using the proper incantation out loud.

Nonverbal spells usually weren’t a problem for Orion, the main thing required being a strong focus. But today the transfiguration didn’t work, no matter how often he repeated the words in his mind.

It was no use, he knew his head was elsewhere; all the events of last night swirled around his centre in a vortex that was tugging at his concentration. Neither could he blank out the exhilaration that had coursed through him as he and Lizzie finally had kissed, nor could he ignore the sorrow he had felt as he had tried to soothe her through her bitter tears. Seeing her fall apart in front of him had cut through his heart, but he couldn’t deny the sting of disappointment as he thought about Rowan’s accusations as well.

He knew he shouldn’t have kissed her again and he hadn’t meant to, but his mind seemed to lose control of his body whenever she was near. With the way she had been looking up at him, equal parts hopeful and scared, his wish to hold her close had become overwhelming. It had been hard letting go of her, but he stood by what he had told her; if she didn’t solve the conflict between her and Rowan and put her mind to ease, any connection between them would be overshadowed by the loss of their friendship.

McNully let out a small cry of triumph as his parchment finally changed its shape. It still looked a little bit too yellow and too brittle to pass for a proper quill, but contrary to Orion, he had at least managed to pull the transfiguration off.

His friend laid his wand aside and inspected his feather. “Do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?” he asked nonchalantly.

“What lets you think I’m bothered?”

Murphy glanced at his non transfigured scroll. “You’re usually much better at nonverbal spells than I am.”

Orion raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you have any numbers backing your observation?”

“Don’t offend me, of course I have,” Murphy shook his head indignantly. “I just don’t think it’s the time for statistics now.” Ignoring Orion’s sceptical look, he put his wand away. “It’s about Lizzie, isn’t it?”

It had taken McNully a good amount of prying and guessing to get last night’s story out of his friend. Given Murphy’s chattiness, Orion had initially wanted to keep it to himself, but Murphy just knew him too well. It was only after filling him in that Orion had noticed how relieved he was to have someone to share his thoughts with; talking about it with Murphy made it feel more real and less like a dream, both the good and the bad.

McNully took Orion’s silence as a sign to go on. “Don’t worry about her,” he smiled encouragingly, “she and Rowan will be fine.”

“I hope so,” Orion sighed, “Lizzie has fallen off balance; I have never seen her so disconcerted before. I’m worried about her.”

Murphy’s eyes dropped to the table as he spun the feather between his fingers. “The rumours going around at the moment won’t help either.”

When Orion didn’t respond, he looked up sharply to find a hint of confusion on his friend’s face. “Don’t tell me you haven’t heard?” he asked in an astounded voice. “It’s the talk of the school; I have heard five different versions of the story so far.”

“What story, McNully?” Orion asked, but even though his voice was patient, he could feel his shoulders tense.

Very uncharacteristic for him, Murphy seemed to struggle to find the words he was looking for. Not finding a proper way to nicely phrase what he was about to say, he answered only hesitantly. “The common theme seems to be Lizzie screwing with Charlie Weasley and… well you, I suppose, at the same time,” he finished meekly.

Seeing Orion’s expression darken considerably, he quickly added, “Which is nonsense of course; we both know Lizzie would never do something like that.”

As much as Orion wanted to believe him, he found a tiny flicker of doubt tugging at his faith in Lizzie; he had known her for so long and had always believed her to be a person that wore her heart on her sleeve; instead, she had tangled herself in a web of lies that were falling back on her now. He had been honest when he had told her that he didn’t hold it against her; but he couldn’t help the thought that maybe he didn’t know her as well has he had thought.

As if on cue, the sneering voice of Everett cut through the silent atmosphere of the room; he and a few of his friends had just entered the Common Room. He held his head even higher than usual and a smug grin was plastered onto his face. He was talking loudly to his companions as he made a point of walking past Murphy and Orion.

“From what I’ve heard, Jameson’s had a fling with Weasley for over a year now; apparently they hooked up at his home over the Christmas break.” He let out a menacing laugh. “But I’m not surprised, to be honest, I always thought she was a rather loose one.”

“Watch your mouth, Everett,” Murphy cut him off angrily. “These rumours are absolutely baseless; the chances of them being true are so low, they’re not even worth calculating.”

Everett turned towards them, his eyes looking down at Murphy condescendingly. “Is that so?” His smile grew even wider, the complacency positively dripping from his words. “Well big news, McNully, I heard it from her best friend myself.”

Before he had a chance to stop himself, Orion’s head went up at his words and his jaw locked. The motion was only minuscule, but Everett had noticed it all the same.

“Her little prefect friend was bitching to Penny Haywood this morning on their way to breakfast. She seemed pretty sure they have something going and Jameson’s been lying straight to their faces the whole time, kept the whole thing her dirty little secret. Just shows what kind of person she really is.”

His attention turned to Orion; he was sizing him up gloatingly. “If you ask me, kind of pathetic someone like our Captain fell for her.”

Murphy was bristling up but Orion silenced him by putting a hand on his shoulder. The calm expression he held Everett’s gaze with was a stark contrast to the anger boiling under his skin. His whole philosophy was against fighting another person, let alone a member of his own team, but much to his surprise, he felt the tips of his fingers twitching with suppressed rage and the sudden desire to wipe the smug grin off Everett’s face.

Everett’s confident smile started to waver as Orion’s gaze bored into his; he may have looked composed but there was a cold fire burning in his eyes that made Everett flinch subconsciously.

“I understand the frustration of being rejected where others are not may run deep,” he answered coolly, “but be careful; spreading rumours is playing with fire.” His eyes grew harder and he raised his chin. “Take care not to burn yourself.”

Everett held his gaze for a moment longer before he dropped his eyes with a derisive snort. He motioned his friends to follow him and stalked over to the other side of the Common Room, as far away from Murphy and Orion as possible.

Murphy watched with a scowl as the group shooed a few first-years off a sofa. “Do you think what he said is true?” he asked silently without looking at Orion.

“No,” Orion answered brusquely, sounding much more determined than he felt, however. “I don’t think we could have been so wrong about her after all these years of knowing her. And even if there was some truth to it, it would be unfair to judge without having heard both sides of the story.”

Murphy opened his mouth to say something but Orion shook his head. “I don’t want to discuss this any further right now. Whatever may have happened between Lizzie and Charlie in the past is in the past; what matters is the present and at present, I’m feeling unsettled.”

He got up and cracked his head from side to side; the muscles in his neck had tensed considerably since this morning. “If you need me, you know where to find me.”

Orion didn’t know for how long he had been balancing; he had lost track of time in the process of turning his focus on his inside. He opened his eyes for a moment; judging by the light of the sun, it was probably way past lunchtime, but he didn’t care too much about a missed meal right now.

All of his concentration was needed to stay upright on his broomstick, that was hovering a good deal above the Quidditch stands. He was thankful for the peace his meditation exercise was giving him. All his thoughts were focused on his steady breathing and his muscles balancing his body in the air, leaving no room for distraction.

He was facing the pitch, his back turned to the rows of wooden seats beneath him, so when he heard a familiar voice calling his name, he couldn’t help but jump a little from being broken out of his concentration so suddenly.

It took him a moment to secure his footing again before he abandoned his standing position and sat down on the handle of his broom. Looking down, he could see Lizzie sitting on the middle row of the stands, her feet resting on the seat in front of her. He had no idea how long she had been there already and he felt his lips curve into a smile as he flew down to meet her.

She stood up as he landed and looked up at him; Orion had never really noticed how big the height difference between them was. As the beating of his heart sped up, he took a deep breath to not lose the calm state of mind he had acquired over the last few hours so quickly. But he couldn’t help it, Lizzie’s presence alone was enough to brighten his mood considerably, all thoughts about focus and balance forgotten.

“It seems like you almost knocked me off balance, Chaser,” he greeted her with an affectionate smile.

Lizzie, however, didn’t smile back at him. She didn’t answer him either; she was simply watching him, her expression stern, the look in her eyes unusually sad. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and held her elbows as if she was hugging herself.

Orion felt the smile fade from his face and his brow furrowed in concern. “What’s wrong?”

She evaded his eyes and turned her head, looking out over the sunbathed pitch. If possible, she looked even paler than this morning.

“I followed your advice, Captain,” she finally said quietly with a bleak voice. “I talked to Rowan.”

“What did she say? Were you able to settle your differences?”

Lizzie hugged herself tighter. “Yes.”

She turned her head from the pitch to face him again, a humourless smile tugging at her lips that didn’t reach her eyes; if anything, it made her look sadder than before.

“She gave me a choice.”

Now it was Orion’s turn to remain silent. He fought the urge reach out to comfort Lizzie when she couldn’t hold his gaze any longer, eyes dropping to the ground again as she struggled to continue. The warmth he had felt moments before was starting to subside, leaving him cold and tense in anticipation of her next words.

“Rowan is willing to forgive me and give our friendship another chance; under one condition,” Lizzie raised her eyes to meet his again and there was no need for her to continue; Orion knew what she was about to say.

“I have to choose between her and you.”

The silence following her words was deafening. Both of them were standing on the wooden stands of the Quidditch pitch, facing each other without a word as the hot rays of the sun burned down on them.

After what felt like an eternity, Orion loosened his grip on the handle of his broomstick, that he had subconsciously gripped tighter, and inclined his head.

“I think I know where your choice fell,” he finally managed to answer.

He could see Lizzie was fighting back her tears as she quickly looked away and pressed her lips together, her chest rapidly rising and falling from trying not to cry. The wish to hold her was so strong it almost physically hurt him, but Orion didn’t move; he couldn’t.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice close to breaking. She extended her hand as if to touch him, but stopped halfway, her hand dropping down to the wooden railing.

“Don’t be sorry,” Orion heard himself say; despite of what it meant for him, for them, he couldn’t stand seeing her so devastated. “Rowan is your oldest friend and your bond is worth preserving.”

He laid a hand on her shoulder, careful not to scare her as he felt her muscles tense beneath his touch. The desire to embrace her grew close to overwhelming but instead he focused on his words.

“While I understand that she is hurt, it is not fair to demand such a decision from you. Do you want me to talk to her?” he added after a moment, knowing full well that she wouldn’t hide behind his back from the effects of her own doings.

And sure enough, Lizzie quickly shook her head. “I don’t need you to fight my battles,” she answered with a trembling voice, but he could hear the hard resolve behind it. “I caused this mess and I have to face the consequences.”

“But this doesn’t only concern you,” Orion responded quietly. He saw Lizzie’s determination waver in the way her brow slightly creased and her lips parted to say something, but instead, she averted her eyes.

“Don’t make me question my decision,” her voice had a desperate tinge to it as she added a quiet, “please.”

“Then I will understand and respect your choice.” He ran his thumb over her shoulder, hoping to give her at least some sort of reassurance.

“No matter how much your decision pains you, if you follow the path your heart is showing you, you are sure to go into the right direction.” He offered her another smile but he knew the sadness that was darkening her eyes was mirrored on his own face.

Lizzie opened her mouth to say something again but stopped herself at the last second.

“Thank you for understanding,” she whispered instead.

She reached up and covered his hand with hers. She tilted her head so she could press her cheek against it for one last moment before gently brushing it off. Without looking at him again, she turned around and vanished into the shadows of the staircase.

Orion stared after her for a moment, still feeling the touch of her cheek against his hand before he sat down on the wooden seats, restlessly raking his fingers through his hair. He let himself fall onto his back, watching the clouds above roll by.

When he was balancing, his goal was to clear his thoughts and empty his mind. Right now, he had no thoughts as well, but the silence inside his head wasn’t peaceful, it was crushing; he felt anything but balanced.

Lizzie barely made it into the cool darkness of the tower before the tears started welling up in her eyes. She bit them back a few moments longer until she was absolutely sure Orion wasn’t following her. She didn’t expect him to; he had always respected the boundaries she’d set. But she knew full well, if he made the unlikely decision go after her, her resolve would crumble into nothingness.

When she had reached the last landing of the stairs, she sank down onto the topmost step and hugged her knees, burying her face in her arms as the tears finally started falling. She tried not to sob, so no one would hear her and the effort took her breath away, shaking her whole frame violently as she dug her nails into her thighs. The physical pain gave her something to cling to as she struggled to regain her composure.

She repeated the words she had told herself ever since she had made her decision in her mind over and over again, like a steady mantra in the chaos of her thoughts. She had done the right thing, made the right choice; she had been a bad friend for far too long.

She had known Orion would understand and accept her decision, but she wished he hadn’t. She wished he had challenged her, called her out for running, told her they would find a way and give her the excuse she so desperately needed to allow her to be with him regardless.

But instead, he had followed her wish and let her go; the way he had looked at her as she had brushed his hand off her shoulder had been so sad and yet so caring at the same time, it made Lizzie’s stomach twist with regret, the guilt she felt increasing beyond measure.

His words were still ringing in her ear and made a bitter smile appear on her face. ‘If you follow the path your heart is showing you, you are sure to go into the right direction.’

But if she was on the right path, then why did it hurt so much?

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #quidditch #orion amari #lizzie jameson #aob #art of balance #the quidditch squad

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mypassionfortrash · 4 years

Text

KICKS (part one)

Roger visits the seediest shop in London in search of a kinky Valentine’s day gift for his girlfriend. He thinks he’s a great lay and he thinks he’s seen it all. He’s also dating one of the sexiest women in the country. It should be a recipe for sexual heaven for Roger, but he soon realises he has a lot to learn, and he keeps coming back to Kicks for more than just the odd ball gag or leather collar!

Warnings: Strong D/s themes later on. STRICTLY 18+. Notes: I said I’d post this in one go, but I lied. I’m gonna post it in parts because I love it. As always, feedback is much appreciated. If you like this, then please, for the love of all that is holy, reblog it (I am begging)! And if you’d like to be tagged, please just send me a message. Thanks for reading!

Tag list: @jennyggggrrr @sarahgurl09 @scorpiogemini @johnricharddeacy @brianssixpence @hellohellothere12

Valentine’s day was always hectic at Kicks, despite the locals being loathed to admit that they satisfied their fiendish fancies there – even for a few days of the year.

And for you, it meant working overtime to guarantee that the merchandise looked as tantalising as ever. It gave you the chance to let your creativity run wild, but you couldn’t go overboard with latex-clad, strap-on wearing mannequins in the front window. After all, the locals were still prudes.

While you were busy in the stockroom, filling a box of dildos for distribution, the bell above the front door chimed. It was a Wednesday evening. Things were winding down for the day. And you had assumed you’d be undisturbed until closing time.

Evidently not.

Your eyes rolled. “I’ll be through in a minute!”

“No need, take your time!”

When the cardboard box at your feet was brimming with rubber dongs and silicone schlongs, you hauled it up into your arms. But, you instantly bemoaned the decision to pile it so high that your arms buckled and you could barely peer over the top of your haul as you made your way back on to the shop floor. All you could see was a tuft of blonde hair lingering around the section of the store that housed every restraint under the sun.

“Are you alright?” the customer asked, scurrying into view.

You dumped the box on the cash desk and huffed, planting your hands on your hips. “Yep, yep, just fine. Just overextended myself.”

You turned to the customer to see a childish smirk peeking from the corners of his mouth. He was dying to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. After all, he had partied with strippers, witnessed wild drug-fuelled orgies and all kinds of debauchery. But here he was, like a naughty teenager in a sweetshop. Roger had never, ever, been in one of these kinds of shops before.

“Can I help you, handsome?” you pressed.

Roger snapped back to reality with a look of faux seriousness. His hand crept beneath the collar of his half-buttoned shirt to press against the curve between his neck and his shoulder. “Oh, yes. Yes. I’m… I’m looking for something to maybe tie my girlfriend up or something. For Valentine’s day, you know? Show her a good time.”

You found his meek facade quite endearing. Most customers had that look about them, but somehow, you expected more from the gregarious drummer of a rock and roll band. “Well,” you began, flinging out your arms. “You’ve come to the right place.”

Roger responded by diverting his gaze to his feet with an eye-crinkling smile.

You emerged from behind the cash desk and gave Roger’s arm a light slap. “Come on over and I’ll show you some of my wares.”

He trailed behind you like a shy little puppy, fumbling his hands in front of his body. “We haven’t really tried this before so I don’t know…”

“That’s ok,” you said, eyeing the wall of restraints for something to show him. You knew full well that Betsy Bright, darling of the Pirelli Calendar, coupled with Queen’s most desirable member, were destined for dirty escapades in the bedroom – even if they hadn’t got around to it yet. And they had to start somewhere.

“W-what about these? These look nice,” Roger mumbled. He held up a set of heavy-duty leather ankle and wrist cuffs for you to inspect.

“How does your girlfriend feel about all of this?” you asked.

“I don’t really know. Honestly, this was just a whim. I’ve already got her some nice knickers. Fred’s been in a couple of times. Joked that I might find something in here.”

That was a typical man response that you’d probably hear a thousand times throughout the Valentine’s frenzy and the annoyance you felt was palpable. Roger edged the cuffs back on to the display.

“Yeah, those might freak her out,” you remarked. “That’s like gifting a virgin a 14-inch dildo and no lube, and telling them to take it in ten minutes.”

“Noted.”

“Why don’t you start…” you said, trailing your hand over the display until you found what you were looking for. “With these?” You held up a set of satin straps for Roger to gaze at. “Much less intimidating. Really versatile. And they come in all kinds of colours.”

Roger took them and allowed the material to fall through his fingertips. “These are nice,” he said, dipping into the bag of department store goodies that hung from his wrist. When he lifted his hand, a whisper-thin, bottle green g-string dangled from his index finger. “Got any to match this?”

“Betsy Bright’s gonna look fantastic in those,” you said, handing him another set of straps.

He couldn’t meet your gaze and the flush of pink that spread from his chest to his jaw gave away even more of his embarrassment. “I hope so,” he said quietly.

“I can throw in a blindfold and a nice little scarf gag for an extra tenner if you want?”

Roger’s eyes were elsewhere; they darted around his surroundings with a coy curiosity. “That sounds great.”

“Do you want me to ring these up for you?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, trailing behind you.

You could feel Roger’s eyes on you as you rang his kinky starter pack through the till and bagged them up for him. Every time you moved, his eyes moved with you. But when you looked up, he quickly looked away, towards the box of dildos beside you. “That’s twenty quid please,” you said, handing him his bag.

He gave you the money from his shaking hand and returned his eyes to the box. Intrigue got the better of him and made him pick up the biggest toy in there. He marvelled at it, turning it in his hand.

“Think you could manage it?” you smirked.

His face reddened again. “Oh, I’m… I’m just… could anyone?”

You nodded slowly with your eyes bulging from your head and a scowl on your lips.

“I’d hate to be the poor woman whose undercarriage gets wrecked by that,” he mused. “How could anyone… Look! I can’t even get my hand around it.”

“Patience and a lot of lube.”

Roger’s mouth hung open as he looked at you again. “Have you? How did you… what?”

You giggled. “No! God no. But it’s possible. I think you’re curious, now though, aren’t you? I reckon you could take that if you really stretched yourself.”

The dildo was dumped back in the box in protest. “No,” he whispered, furiously shaking his head.

“I think you’re more interested than you’re letting on, but that’s alright. I won’t tell.”

“I’ll stick to sticking my dick in things. Rather than having things stuck in me. If that’s alright.”

You threw your hands in the air. “Whatever tickles your pickle!”

“I’m a great lay by the way. I’m just throwing that out there.”

A sarcastic chuckle escaped your lips. “Bet you’ve never found the g-spot.”

Roger leaned on the cash desk, screwing up his beautiful features, eager for you to impart your wisdom. “Sorry, what?”

One week later…

Rounding the corner, the morning sun sparked a blazing path before you. Beautiful, boring shopfronts blurred past you as your speedometer approached 60. Double the speed limit, but opening time was drawing closer by the second.

Never in your time at Kicks had you been late. And you weren’t going to let that happen today.

Turning the throttle, the needle spiked at 70, and then steadily eased as the shop came into view.

When your bike came to a stop opposite the shop, you hesitated for a moment, thanking your lucky stars you decided to don a visor that day. A customer paced back and forth, but you couldn’t see their face from that far away. It was rare to find customers pounding the pavement, waiting for the doors to open. Rarer still when that customer turned out to be Roger Taylor – again.

Whipping off your helmet and crossing the street, you caught Roger’s eye. Stopped in his tracks, he struggled to fight back a broad grin. And the way his eyes strayed.

You didn’t look at him when you slipped your key into the lock. “Well, if it isn’t my favourite customer! How’d Miss Pirelli get on? She like getting tied up?” You pushed the door open and switched on the lights. Roger followed.

“I’m not sure,” he said, scratching at the undersides of his arms as he wandered into the middle of the shop – and tried not to touch anything.

Weaving in and out of the group of catsuit-clad mannequins in the front window, you stopped and narrowed your eyes at Roger. “What do you mean: you’re not sure?” you asked, pulling up the blinds. “Don’t you talk?”

“Sure, as soon as I’ve spaffed my load down her tits and we’re lying there all sweaty and exhausted, I just... just turn to her and ask,” he paused, lowering his voice and pressing his hand to the side of his mouth, “darling did you like those silk ties and how was the little feather duster I tickled your fanny with? Sure!”

You shook your head and wandered over to Roger. “So you don’t do a thorough post-match analysis? How on earth do you communicate? Jesus Christ, Roger!”

“I think she liked it! Ok?”

“So you’re back for that monster cock you saw last week?” you asked with fake glee.

Roger crossed his arms and jutted out his hip. “No, actually.” As quickly as his face clouded over with indignation, it dropped even more into a serious gaze. “I was hoping you could give me some advice.”

You seemed to understand that this was unusual for Roger and that he wasn’t exactly used to opening up like this. “Coffee?”

He perked up ever so slightly, his arms dropping down by his sides. “Coffee.”

Roger followed you on your way into the back room, but he lingered just at the door and watched you make the coffee.

“I’ve got some chocolate digestives if you want some. You know, in case you need to eat your feelings,” you joked.

“Wouldn’t say no,” he laughed. “I don’t think I’m quite at that point just yet.”

“Right,” you began, thrusting Roger’s coffee into his hand on your road back to the shop floor. “Tell me all of your woes, drummer boy.”

You and Roger hauled yourselves on to stools on opposite sides of the cash desk. He looked down, staring into the cup in his hands. And then he looked up. “Actually I think I will have a biccy, please.”

Without a word, you plucked a single chocolate digestive from the packet and slid it towards him like a seedy bartender. But you kept your finger on it when he tried to take it.

He shot you a frustrated glare.

“A moment on the lips and all that,” you quipped, “I’ll give you this if you tell me what’s bugging you.”

Roger puffed out his cheeks and maintained eye contact with you – he looked like he was begging, but you wouldn’t budge even with his fingers planted on the outer edges of the now melting chocolate biscuit.

“Come on. That layer of chocolate’ll be long gone before you’ve ‘fessed up!”

“This is weird, talking to someone I don’t even know about it.”

You shrugged. “I sell naughty tapes to sweaty old men and rubber dolls to greaseballs with bad breath – and I have to smile about it. Trust me, this isn’t the weirdest thing that’s going to happen to me today. Spill the beans.”

Roger tilted his head to the side with a coy smile. He wasn’t sure where to begin or how to verbalise his feelings on the matter. “Ok. So last week went well. I think she liked it. And I think she wants more of that but…” Roger trailed off. His eyes darted in the air as if he was reading from a script he had tried to commit to memory. But he was lost.

“Right, eat that,” you instructed, letting go of the biscuit.

Roger took it, dunked it in his coffee and took a bite. “It’s just,” he began through his mouthful, “it didn’t feel right for me.”

Even if you hadn’t the foggiest idea what Roger meant by that, you still made a good show of pretending that you did, nodding and dishing out an understanding, “Ah, I get you. Takes a bit of getting used to.”

Roger was dunking the other half of his biscuit when he continued. “I just didn’t feel comfortable with it, you know? I like sex. Love sex. But I felt like I’d rather have all of that done to me. And it just gets really tiring when she expects me to… perform... all the time. She wants me to pull her hair and put my hands around her neck… spank her. And I don’t know how to feel about that.” Roger finished pouring his heart out by lifting his biscuit out of his mug. It was sodden and fell apart upon removal, much to Roger’s disdain. “Well, that’s my coffee ruined.” He looked back up at you. “So yeah.”

“Have you tried – I don’t know – telling her this?”

“I did, but she was kind of dismissive about it. She told me it’s no big deal. But I’m intrigued. I want that… but for me.”

“Well, you need to figure out if it’s a crucial part of your relationship. Are you serious with Betsy?”

Roger shrugged. “She’s fun to look at, and she’s always, you know, up for it. But it’d be nice to let go for a bit. I’m not even sure how I’d feel about doling out any of the rougher stuff that she wants to try. Plus she’s a bit of a bimbo, you know?” he added, cupping his hands around a pair of imaginary breasts on his chest. “Not much going on in the brain.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that last bit and just tell you how it is,” you stated. “So. The way I see it is you’ve got two – maybe three – problems here,” you announced, sitting up straight. “Number one: the Venn diagram between your kinks and your girlfriend’s kinks don’t really align. She expects you to be just as savvy and into it as she is, and I’m gonna hazard a guess here, you haven’t been as adventurous as she has. Sound right?”

“Right,” Roger nodded enthusiastically.

“Number two: you’re apprehensive because you’re not as savvy as you thought you were. You’re not comfortable diving into all the debauchery she wants, because you’ve still got much to learn.”

“Yep.”

“And third: I think you’d rather be submissive in bed.”

Roger thought about that final point for a moment. His brow furrowed as he took a sip of his coffee.

“I think I’ve nailed it,” you said.

“I think you have. Maybe.”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

Roger’s eyes lightened. “I’m going to need to have a long, hard think about that one, aren’t I?”

“You’re damn right you do.”

NEXT PART >>

#roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #queen #queen imagine #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor fic #roger taylor x you #queen x you #roger taylor fanfic #please validate me

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raymurata · 4 years

Text

Heroics

ZevWarden Week Day 6 Bloodstained clothes: Injury @zevraholics For context: This drabble takes place in my WayWard Heart universe (some chapter in a future not-yet-written), when Zevran and Alec, after having gotten close for a couple of months, end up breaking up for a while. Alec then has a short fling with Morrigan, which coincides with the first half of Nature of the Beast quest. This is where they’re at. <3

-------------------------------- Heroics

Thick, crimson-red blood spilled between Zevran’s fingers, his palm pressed firmly against the cut on his stomach in a futile attempt at keeping his guts inside.

Foolish. To try and push beyond limits. He should have known this would happen, but he hadn’t thought. Had he wanted to help the Dalish so much he’d acted without second thought? Or had he actually taken this opening to finally finish what he’d come to Ferelden to do?

He couldn’t make sense of it, and even less so as his lungs struggled to pull in any air. He curled up on himself, not sure what would happen next.

Would Alec even bother to heal him, this time? Probably not. If the cold shoulder the warden had given him the past few days was any indication, this was the end of the road for him. It was surprising that the warden had kept him in the party, after their fight. And what a waste… to have so heroically jumped on an ogre’s back and taken the creature out all on his own… for the warden.

Zevran’s head spun.

Andraste’s fucking tits! Had he done it for the warden? Had he hoped to fix what was broken like this? Impressing him?

Extremely foolish. Instead, he’d given the warden the perfect excuse to cut him loose. How easy it would be to just say… “There is nothing I can do.”

Please, Maker...

Nothing he could do.

“Zevran!” Screams. A woman’s voice. Who? “Alec! Alec! Zev’s hurt! He--” Leliana.

Air. Screams. Breathe! Air!

---

Pain, liquor, sweat. Zevran was burning. He screamed, or tried to, his voice caught in his throat. He couldn’t move a muscle. It hurt. There was blood, so much blood on him. He needed out. Out. Fuck.

Soft hands on him, ginger hair, soothing voice. “It’s alright, Zev. It’s ok. I’m here. It’s just a fever.” Alec. It must be the Fade again. If it was another demon, he did not need to worry. He knew no one better to deal with demons than his warden.

The Warden.

“You’ll make it, Zev. Trust me. Just… Here, here,” Alec cooed, giving him something to drink. “Just a little longer, just hang in tight.”

Zevran’s body wasn’t on fire anymore.

He closed his eyes.

Again and again he saw the warden in his dreams, flames in the forest. It was hot one moment, cold the next. He shivered, teeth clattered, and he curled up on himself only to wake up later wrapped in burning furs, sweat clinging to his forehead.

His whole body ached, and he failed to do anything but fall back asleep.

Alec washed sweat off his face with a cool cloth; helped him to his feet when he needed the privy. And then everything blurred again, demons spitting fire at the corner of his eyes. He sat on the back of a massive bear, the forest passing before his eyes. The orange sky turned blue out of a sudden.

What was real, what was the Fade? He couldn’t tell the difference.

---

Zevran woke up with something in his mouth. He coughed, choking out the drink, spilling it on his own chest. He propped up on his elbow, sharp pain in his stomach. Wynne sat at the side of his bedroll, a mug of water extended out for Zevran to drink. Frowning, but too tired to protest, he sipped the water, then gestured for her to give him a moment.

Sitting up as best as he could despite the pain, and despite Wynne’s attempt at getting him to recline once more, Zevran tried to clean up the mess he’d made on his own chest. He grabbed the nearest cloth and wiped out the pinkish colored drink he’d spilled. Its smell reached his nostrils and its taste finally registered in the back of his mouth, not fully washed away by the water. A health potion, or close. It tasted better, slightly tart, almost like… yogurt? But it was so very sweet, too.

“Wh--?” His voice came out hoarse, weak. He coughed again.

“You were badly injured, Zevran. It is best you rest a while longer before attempting to talk,” Wynne said, setting the water canteen aside and instead reaching for the bowl with the creamy health potion. He must have stared, because Wynne’s eyes also dropped to the drink, and she gave him a knowing smile. “It is a Dalish recipe, apparently. They make health poultices with halla yogurt. We’ve added ginger and honey because they’re good against fevers.”

Zevran looked around. Several herbs were piled up on a table. Two more bedrolls stretched out at the side of his. The elven man they had found injured in the forest lay in one of them, sleeping quite peacefully, looking rather healthy now. The other was empty, but bloodied. The stains were still quite red, quite fresh. The sheets were torn, and duck feathers were scattered around the bedroll. Whoever had laid there had probably gone beyond the point of saving.

“I rather thought I would be beyond the point of saving, myself,” he mused out loud. He looked past Wynne, at the open canvas of the tent. A pair of Dalish hunters talked just outside. He was back at their camp, and it was morning. “I imagine I was carried back, yes?”

“You and Deygan. Alec did not think he would be able to properly heal the both of you back in the wilds,” Wynne explained.

Zevran shook his head. “He turned back?”

“A temporary setback,” Wynne explained. “The Dalish Grey Warden has continued on with Alistair, and the rest of the party. Alec returned only with Morrigan, Sten and the two of you.” She pointed at Zevran and the sleeping Dalish hunter. “I believe they intend to resume the task when morning next breaks.”

“Ah,” was all Zevran managed to say. He tried to sit up again, only to find himself panting from that alone. Fuck. “My dear Wynne, how long has it been, might I ask?”

“The sun had just set yesterday when they arrived with you, but Alec told me he spent a good while getting you to a stable condition before they could carry you back. I would say you’ve been either asleep or unconscious for around four days? You’ve been battling a raging fever all of this time -- Alec kept you under spells for most of the journey.”

Zevran looked down at his stomach. Despite the pain at breathing, and the purple hue of his skin, there was no new scar to account for.

“And where is our heroic Grey Warden now?” Zevran asked, lacing his tone with sarcasm as not to give away the knot in his throat.

“He asked me to inform him as soon as you awoke, but he hasn’t slept a wink. Even when Lanaya and I offered to take over, he didn’t leave until your fever was down.” Wynne pressed the back of her hand to Zevran’s neck. “It’s still down, so I do not plan on waking him up just yet.”

Zevran blinked twice..

Why? Could there still be something between the two of them?

Zevran scoffed at himself, and shook his head. “You dare defy the Warden Commander’s orders, Wynne? Your fearlessness is truly your sexiest feature, my dear woman,” he said, sounding as flippant as he could muster.

“I might not be the interim Warden Commander, but I am still the senior Healer here,” she said with a small chuckle, fetching a piece of cloth and soaking it into a water basin. She wrung the cloth, folded it gently and handed it over to Zevran. “Not to say that he is doing a poor job as interim Commander. I do believe he made the right decision here. You would certainly have died out there, had he not. All things considered, however, I still worry over what exactly drove him to it. You understand that he does have many difficult decisions ahead of him, right? There might be a time when he must choose between continuing his task of ending the Blight, or saving a lover, and… We both know which the world needs him to choose.”

Zevran frowned at Wynne, his heart racing faster with each of her words. It seemed like a preposterous assumption, that. The warden had not, and would not, choose him over ending the Blight. And besides... “I-- My dear Wynne. Certainly you are aware that our handsome Warden has other fancies now, yes?”

“Yes, I--” Wynne sighed, shaking her head. “I must admit I do not understand you youngsters anymore. First, no one in camp can sleep thanks to you and him. Then, he takes to Morrigan's tent, of all people. Quite suddenly, might I add, and you do not seem even slightly fazed? That your fancies are all fleeting, I already knew, but some things do not add up entirely in this particular equation.”

Indeed, they didn’t.

He, too, would like to understand what went on in Alec’s mind.

Zevran slipped on the mask. “Ah, but Wynne, if you would like to better understand us youngsters, it would be my pleasure to show you, mm? Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from a mature woman like yourself, too?” He grinned lecherously, patting the bedroll next to him. Wynne rolled her eyes in distaste, but that did not stop him. “Perhaps that is why you chose not to wake the warden, yes? You wanted to be left alone with such a handsome patient as me. I can certainly understand that wish.”

Wynne groaned. “If you are well enough to be shameless, you are well enough to be left on your own, Zevran.” She put a cork stopper in a Lyrium vial and set it aside, then gracefully got to her feet. “Let me know if you feel unwell.”

He let out a sigh of relief when she exited the tent; his heart still racing wildly.

It didn’t add up. That Alec hadn’t cut him loose. That he’d split the party, turned back, and cared for him with such diligence. What now? He was still injured. Too injured to even get up, let alone resume their quest. Perhaps the healer in Alec had spoken louder. Of course. Alec would not have let an ally die. Alec would probably ask him to go on his merry way instead, now that he wasn’t going to be responsible for someone dying under his command…

Zevran tossed and turned, the pain increasing every time he rolled over. His breath got labored, his energy all drained by his thoughts.

---

It was evening when he woke up again, feeling much better and much more aware of his surroundings. He sat up, fetched the damp piece of cloth by his bedroll and washed sleep off his face with it. He was barely done when he caught a glimpse of Alec’s silhouette through the canvas; a shiny light dancing around him.

He bit his lower lip, waiting, watching as the warden entered the tent.

“You’re awake,” Alec said, the wisp dimming in intensity once he was inside. “How are you feeling?”

It was the first time in days that Alec talked to him like that, in that tone. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he liked it and missed it. His throat knit, and no words came out of his lips.

Alec stepped closer, sat down next to him, and reached a hand out for his forehead. His palm was warm and soft, as Zevran knew it to be. “Fever’s really gone. Have you had dreams?”

“Have we faced any more sloth demons while I slept, my friend?” Zevran asked, going for a humorous tone. “Or were they Desire demons this time?”

Alec shook his head, withdrawing his touch. “Serious question, Zev,” he said, and his eyes were as grave as he sounded. “Have you had any dreams of Darkspawn? Dragons? Did you hear voices that didn’t make sense but you still got the feeling of what they were saying?”

“I-- No,” Zevran frowned. “I had regular dreams, I believe. Nothing of that nature.”

“Mm.” Alec had huge circles under his eyes. “Nothing at all of the sort? Tinglings in your veins?”

Zevran’s frown intensified, and an entirely puzzled look was the best answer he could give.

Alec’s shoulders sagged. He sighed. “Thank the Maker.”

“Have I lucked out?” Zevran asked playfully.

Alec scoffed. “Yeah. I guess. Your wound was pretty deep, and Darkspawn weapons can sometimes infect people with the taint, too, so I was worried you’d been tainted. I’ve been monitoring you, but you don’t seem to be showing any signs of taint decay.” As he spoke, Alec emptied and then refilled the water in the basin. “When Duncan was taking me, Skyler and Li Na to Ostagar, she was infected. You haven’t developed any of the symptoms she did, so I started to consider you might have resisted the Taint -- Which would make you a Grey Warden, actually.” He took the cloth from Zevran and sunk it into the basin. He cast a heating spell, and in seconds the water steamed. “There are some accounts of that sort of transition happening, but it is not quite the same as the Joining Ritual. For that, the Wardens need a drop of blood from the Archdemon… But, since I didn't see any back in Denerim, I'd guess the last vial of Archdemon blood in Ferelden was lost alongside Duncan, so it wouldn’t have been possible to put you through the Joining. It’s a freaking relief that you’re not tainted -- really. I wasn’t sure what I’d have done. I was already drawing up the path back to Ostagar… I figure Duncan��s body might still be there, and his possessions. But anyway. No dreams is another good sign.”

“I take it I have not turned into a fabled Grey Warden then, yes?”

“It doesn’t seem like it,” Alec agreed, a soft, even if tired, smile resting on his thin lips. “But if you do dream of dragons, you should tell me right away.”

Alec wrung the cloth and then gently placed it in Zevran’s hand. It was heavenly warm.

Zevran caught himself watching Alec’s lips, missing the warmth of his kiss.

Alec cleared his throat. “But you know, Zev… I’m not going to pretend I’m not mad at you,” he said, and Zevran’s heart dropped to his stomach.

So this was when Alec kicked him out of their party?

“You were in no position to taunt that ogre and handle it on your own. I asked both you and Leliana to give me cover in the air, and you fucked it up.”

“From where I stand, my friend, it seems it worked well, yes? Wynne tells me Li Na took Alistair and everyone else onward to find Witherfang. I am assuming I was the only one injured? Even if you were not such a skilled healer, it would have been only a minor loss,” Zevran said, chuckling at his self-deprecating joke.

Alec was unamused. “I already had Deygan to heal on my own -- You knew Wynne was back here, but you were reckless nonetheless. You sustained an injury that could have killed you or turned you into a ghoul, and you left me no choice but to turn back, even though you could’ve easily taken a different approach in that battle. We would still have won, and we’d be on our way without any delays. I need you to be more careful than this next time.”

Zevran scoffed. “Come now, my Warden. We all have made harsh decisions in the thick of battle before, have we not?” They had literally infiltrated Loghain’s army camp once, lured a whole horde of darkspawn on their own, stolen trinkets from merchants in the middle of Denerim’s market despite how risky it was to attract attention to themselves when they were wanted for treason. Now Alec was scolding him for recklessness? Anger built up in his veins. “And besides, you could have let me suffer the consequences, no? If it bothered you such that I made you turn back.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Zevran. When are you going to understand? We’re friends.”

Friends. That again.

It was hard to register that any friendship could exist beyond a shared goal.

“Listen,” Alec said, “just rest, alright? We can talk later.”

Zevran swallowed dry, not moving his eyes from Alec’s.

The warden sighed. “It’s just… I’m just trying to tell you that you don’t actually help anyone by being reckless in battle. And, you know, I wouldn’t want to lose someone I see as a good friend. Even if I know this is a Blight and maybe we might all die--”

“Gruesomely,” Zevran added, needing levity, even if just a little.

“Gruesomely, definitely,” Alec agreed with a chuckle. “Ripped apart by a dragon or another. Anyway. My point is… You won’t die if I can help it, even if you act like a freaking twat and jump on a fucking ogre without any backup, like an idiot. And it doesn’t matter if we’re, you know… knocking boots. Or not. Just get it in that thick head of yours already that I’m your friend. It’s fucking preposterous that you’d think I’d just leave you behind -- Makes me want to freeze your fucking arse.”

A choked chuckle escaped Zevran. “It is a concept that might take getting used to, my friend,” he said, rather ironically. “You have a noble goal to achieve. Why keep around a friend if they become a liability rather than an asset? Even if theirs is a wonderful asset.”

He did not have to wait a beat for the answer. “We’re all mortal here, Zev. We all get hurt and we’re all likely to die. Who fucking knows, we may all become a liability at some point. And if I left behind every friend who got injured, I’d end up alone and dead myself before I even saw the Archdemon. And besides, it’s like… each person still standing when we end this is an added victory to the victory, you know? Especially since--” Alec trailed off.

He reached his hand out for Zevran’s wrist, but stopped himself before touching him. His palm hovered atop Zevran’s arm, eventually landing only for a pat before withdrawing. He put on a smug smirk, or attempted to. “And it’s not like I would miss the opportunity to prove what a badass healer I am, innit? You should have seen your guts, they were practically spilling out of your stomach, right here. I fixed it up real nice. Really proud of myself there.”

Alec trailed the pad of his finger on Zevran’s stomach, drawing an invisible scar.

Zevran shivered, that soft touch -- and that beautiful smile on Alec’s lips -- filling him with want.

He chuckled. “So what I am hearing is that I should get myself injured more often to give you opportunities to shine, my warden? You can use me as your display case.”

Alec chuckled, and playfully slapped his arm. “Don’t freaking test me, Zev. I swear to Andraste, if you ever put a dumbass move like that on me on purpose, I will let you bleed until near-death on purpose. Healing will be painful,” he threatened, but there was a boyishness in his tone that gave away the lie. “But, really. I sure as fuck don’t need another thing to worry about mid-battle, you know? I usually trust you to be one of the most careful fighters in our party. You’re always keeping an eye on everyone.”

On him, mostly, Zevran thought, but didn’t say anything.

“I just need to know that you’re not going to be careless, innit?”

“Fine, fine,” Zevran agreed, giving the boy a soft smile, his chest suddenly warm again. “I shall leave all of the heroics to you next time, my friend.” His smile turned into a wicked, shit-eating grin. “I’ve learned my lesson not to outshine the Grey Warden Commander.”

Alec shook his head in good humour. “Yeah, if anyone’s dying heroically here it’s me, when I kill the Archdemon, so cool your tits.” He pinched Zevran’s nipple as he said that, his fingers cold as ice. Zevran let out a high-pitched “ma che- stronzo!” in his native Antivan, then tossed his pillow up on Alec’s face, nearly toppling him backwards on the stool. Their laughter echoed in the tent, then died slowly, naturally.

Zevran coughed and panted, body still healing from the infection. “If you do not mind me asking, dear warden, what of Witherfang? Wynne says you are returning there next morning, but you’ve lost quite a lot of time.”

“Li Na and Alistair are on it. It’s a Dalish matter, and I doubt she’ll give up until she has put an end to it. My only worry is that they have no healer with them right now, so I have to get back as soon as possible. The forest should be safer now that we’ve dealt with the Blighted wolves and darkspawn.”

“I would like to join you as well, my friend.”

Alec knit his ginger brows. “I’m not sure you’re in good enough health yet, Zev. You can stay here with the Dalish and recover, since Wynne’s here anyway.” He bit his lower lip, tilted his head. “I mean... We’ll see how you’re feeling in the morning, but we can talk about that later. If you’re alright now, I’m gonna let you clean up.” Alec pushed himself up. “Do you think you can join us for dinner? Or should I bring you supper?”

Zevran’s eyes stung. He lifted his gaze up to the warden. “I would much rather join the Dalish outside, caro.” Ah, what a fool he was, to rejoice in the warden’s friendship and affection. He knew he might get burnt yet again, but somehow he was willing to take that risk. “Thank you.”

Alec said, and nodded gently at him before leaving the tent.

#zevwarden #zevran x warden #zevwarden week 2020 #zevran x surana #zevran x m!warden #zevran arainai #zalec #alec surana #fanfic #raywrites #wynne #wayward heart #wayward heart wip #loooong one

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revisionaryhistory · 4 years

Text

Three Days ~ 64

~*~Emma~*~

Lunch with the girls had been fun. The talk and laughter were a nice decompression from the last couple of days. They were all coming to the game tonight. Tomorrow I'd finish packing up my room and by dinnertime tomorrow I'd be with Sebastian.

Back in my room I turned on some music and started pulling words off the wall. My heart positively leaped when I heard Sebastian's voice behind me. Over twenty-four hours had shrunk to seconds. When I turned to see my gorgeous boyfriend wearing the polka dot mouse ears and holding the flowers I sent him, I wanted to fling myself at him, cover him in kisses, and tell him I was in love with him.

But Sebastian beat me to it. When I touched him, his expression changed from happy to surprise to something more. He told me I was beautiful then said, "Fuck... I love you." I don't think he'd expected to say it, maybe he didn't know he felt it until right then.

Either way, it was the most genuine and romantic thing I'd ever heard. I'd practiced the words until I knew they were perfect. The way he looked at me when I said them with his name the way he liked best, I would never forget. He could say the words a thousand times and they'd never come close to the intensity in his eyes.

Thirty minutes later sitting in a Target parking lot Sebastian showed me a picture Mallory took. Somehow, she'd caught that same look on both our faces.

Not that I'd forget the story behind the picture but the addition of those silly ears that he forgot he was wearing, marked the moment. It couldn't have been more perfect.

Driving home he was awfully interested in his phone. I could see Spotify open. "What are you doing?"

Sebastian looked over like a kid with his hand caught in a cookie jar. "Refining a playlist. To seduce you."

"Seduce me? That sounds fun." It wouldn't take much to seduce me, but I was excited to see where he was going. I watched him turn off his display and put his phone in the console between us. "Done?"

He nodded with raised eyebrows and a smile, "It's short. I’m not anticipating much resistance."

I reached over for his hand, "Smart man."

He kissed my hand then held it between his. "You're beautiful." One of his hands moved my hair away from my face. "About the blonder and tanner."

"I tan easy."

"Then why'd you'd have me cover you in sunscreen at the tournament?”

I laughed, "I'd like to say just to get your hands on me, but for real, a farmer's tan is not the look I want."

"Good point." I could feel his eyes on me and he was playing with my fingers.

"What's the real color of your hair?" I nearly got whiplash with how quickly he reversed, "If it wasn't this very natural-looking color." He grimaced and kissed my hand again.

"This is my natural color. I don’t have blonde highlights. I have brown low lights. Sun and chlorine strip out the brown."

"Really?" He made a humming noise, "I've been blonde twice. Hated it both times."

"I don't hate it, but the brown gives it more depth. I leave it alone in the summer because I like pools."

We were at the stoplight turning onto my road. Sebastian leaned in. I turned my head and kissed him. He stayed close, "Do I need to lengthen my playlist?"

Was he crazy? Since he was still close, I rubbed my nose against his. Somewhere in his past was an over sensitive girlfriend. "Nope."

I grabbed the Target bags and Sebastian grabbed his luggage. We were barely inside the door before he had me pressed to the wall kissing me. He left the kiss, but kept me pinned, "Good memories of this wall." I felt my cheeks heat up. "So fucking cute." He kissed me again. "I need five minutes. Stay here. I'll come get you." He took the stairs two at a time.

I leaned into the stairwell, looking up. "Where are your dirty clothes?"

"Laundry bag in the suitcase. Thank you."

I laid his suitcase on the floor and opened it. I dumped the two hotel laundry bags on the counter in the laundry room. Socks, underwear, and a lone t-shirt joined his new stuff in the washer. I smiled. This was very domestic. I liked this feeling, taking care of him. My phone going off pulled me out of my domestic bliss.

Mallory ~ Skip volleyball. Stay home and play with him.

Emma ~ I can do both

I'd just put the last of the groceries in the fridge when I heard him coming down the stairs.

Jeans, t-shirt, and bare feet. He looked just as sexy as he had when he opened his door in New York. I liked the way he was looking at me. His eyes were so blue. The slight curve of his mouth. He loves me.

Sebastian reached for me, putting his hand on my face. I laid my head over. The gentle caress of his fingers drifted back, lacing into my hair. A slight pull brought me closer. I slid my hands from his waist around to his back. His arm around my shoulder pulled me in. When he kissed me, it was so soft, a gentle press of his lips with only the briefest touch of tongue. He moved far enough away to look into my eyes. "Te iubesc.”

Sounded more natural when he said it. I had the pronunciation, but not the correct intonation. I’d have to practice. I said it back, "Te iubesc. "

He pulled me closer again, stopping a hairsbreadth from my lips, "I want to make love to you."

"How's that going to be different than what we've been doing?" In reality, my feelings weren’t all that different, it was just having said the words out loud.

"I don’t know, but we're about to find out." His voice, the softness, combined with his kiss made my knees weak. I held onto him. When he took a step back, he took my hand, “Come on.”

I stayed close behind him going up the stairs and down the hall. Not once did he look back. It felt like he had a purpose and was focused. My heart was racing. Not sure why. Everything I thought about it not being different feels like bullshit. This feels more. We’ve not lacked intensity, but I was finding it hard to breathe. More.

Inside my bedroom, Sebastian touched his phone which was on my chest of drawers. The song we’d danced to the other night, the one I’d not heard before, started playing. He kept walking until we were in the middle of the space. Blinds were closed, decorative pillows on the chair, and the bed was pulled down. I hadn’t thought about what his “give me five minutes” comment was about. I’m glad I hadn’t. This was incredibly sweet and pulled hard at my heart.

Sebastian turned, curled his arm to hold my hand on his chest, his other arm snaking around me to hold me close. I held onto his shoulder and moved with him. His eyes were holding me closer than his arms. I smiled, licked my lips, and bit my bottom lip.

His mouth curved, “What’s that about?”

“So I don’t scream.”

He nodded in a way that only made it worse before he kissed me. Gentle. Soft. Never breaking with the rhythm of the song. His eyes met mine again, “On our first date I thought I could fall in love with you. The first time we kissed I knew I could. Later that I night I knew I was. Every time I see you, every time we talk, I want you more. I just wanted to surprise you today. When you turned around it was like everything came together. No more falling, I was there, am there, completely in love with you.”

I moved the hand on his shoulder to the back of his head, threading my fingers into his hair. Sebastian's eyes closed with the contact. "I was less than a block from your apartment when I wanted to turn back and tell you I loved you. But I couldn't have stayed and I couldn't have left. So I held onto how safe, cherished, and loved you make me feel until I was back with you. Even though we hadn't said it, I felt it when you look at me." I stretched up and pulled him down. "I want to crawl inside you and I don't think that's going to be close enough."

He looked the way I felt. "Emma." My name was all he said. His lips were parted in a smile, his blue eyes shining.

"Sebasti-an." I returned his smile and pressed my lips to his.

He let go of my hand to pull me closer. Pressed against him wasn't close enough, but it was better. It was being able to feel the rise and fall of his chest with each breath that I loved most. The feel of his reaction. The growing hardness against my hip was a reaction too, but it was binary. Hard or soft. Sebastian's breathing was much more nuanced. Right now, it was slow and steady.

Sebastian’s fingers dug into me when I went under his shirt. His breath hitched and he moved his mouth to my neck. Soft wet kisses raised my heart rate. He knew just how to send goosebumps over my skin. He leaned back a little and I watched him reach behind him to pull his shirt off. My mouth watered looking at his chest and stomach. I took hold of the hem of my shirt and took it over my head. Sebastian's hand followed my shirt, stopping to undo the clasp on my bra. He was pushing it over my shoulders before my arms were down.

Skin was Sebastian's thing. A strip peeking out from a stretch or designed into clothing. Like this, naked in front of him, he liked to look. I waited, letting him take in the tan lines from my bikini top. Touching would even better.

His hand reached out and traced the dark to light skin before even that wasn't enough and he returned to kisses. I followed the line of muscles where ever I could reach. Across his shoulders, his bicep, and my favorite the contours of his back. I let my fingernails scrape his skin and heard the prettiest moan from where his tongue was indeed licking a tan line. I played in his hair a moment before running my fingers along his beard, to under his chin. I pulled him back up, loving the glazed over look in his eyes. I watched my fingers on his chest and stomach. I left a hand dangerously close to the spot that made him shake and moved behind him. My mouth retraced where my fingers had been and I moved my hand between his legs. Sebastian put his hand over mine, increasing the pressure.

"I love how you touch me." Sebastian's voice broke the silence. I took my hand from him to undo his jeans. Hooking his boxers with my thumbs I took everything down, including myself. I kissed his thighs while getting his clothes over his feet, licked from the back of his knee up the back of his thigh, and over the curve of his ass before pushing him to turn around.

Sebastian touched my cheek before making sure my hair was out of the way. I looked up at him while licking the slit at the tip of his cook. My dirty smile matched his. I sucked his head into my mouth and used my tongue along the edges. The soft underside of my tongue against him got the strongest reaction. His hand fisted in my hair, not to guide, but to have something to hold onto. I held onto the back of his thigh with my fingers stroking the edge where his leg met his ass.

I felt his leg shake and let his cock fall from my mouth. If I'd kept going, he'd be no use to me. I needed to feel him inside me. Sebastian took my hands when I put them on his hips, guiding me to stand. He leaned over to meet me. We were kissing before my legs were straight. His mouth caught my moans as his hand went between my legs. Fingers rubbed over and dipped inside. I held tight to his shoulders, breaking from the kiss with a gasp when a jolt of pleasure ran through me. I dropped my head to his shoulder, "Oh god."

Before I knew what was happening Sebastian swept me off my feet and laid me on the bed. Our eyes locked as I scooted into the middle of the bed. His normal predatory look was tempered by a different kind of desire. He kept his eyes on mine while kissing up the inside of my leg. He was on his hands and knees kissing my stomach, when I sat up, taking his face in my hands. I kissed him gently before smiling, "I love you."

He kissed me, not quite as gently. I let go of his face and laid back down. More kisses were laid on my stomach while he settled between my legs. I sighed with the first sensation of his mouth on me. He dove straight in with tiny licks on my clit, so gentle that I almost couldn't feel him. Until I could. I shook all over. My fingertips ran through his hair and over to the side of his face. He turned his head, kissing my fingers, before returning between my legs. The momentary interruption in contact was enough that his tongue back on me had me arching off the bed. I felt his hand, his fingers, reach for me. I tangled my fingers with his, holding tighter, and calling his name when I came.

I tried to push him away, too sensitive right after an orgasm, but Sebastian wasn't having it. He backed off my clit. His tongue was... everywhere. Occasionally, he'd swipe across my clit, but didn't focus there until he heard me moan from the contact.

I squirmed until Sebastian's grip on my hips stilled me. Not long after he sat back on his knees and reached for the condom. I took it away, rolling it on while we kissed. I took him with me, pulling him on top of me. I loved the weight of him. Loved the unrestricted access from shoulders to ass when he was on top. I could caress and hold on while he stroked inside me. My hips rose to meet him.

I initiated the position change. Sebastian had done such a good job working me up again, but I needed I different angle to keep it going. Plus I liked to lay my hand on his stomach while I rode him. To feel the twitches. He enjoyed the view. He looked relaxed and happy flat on his back. His hands held onto my hips or ran over my thighs. I controlled his angle and depth, making him hit the right spots.

Sebastian held onto my waist, stopping my movement. "Emma, baby, I need to be closer." He sat up, holding onto me to keep us joined while he redistributed our weight. I pulled my legs up tight against his hips and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. We didn't move for a while, reverting to simple kisses and touches.

His fingers blazed a trail down either side of my spine to my ass, where he gently lifted, encouraging me to move. I made small movements, rising and falling on his cock while circling my hips. I kissed along his neck, sucking and licking the tendon that ran on the side his neck. He growled when I sucked a pulse point. That sent his heart rate up. "This is my favorite position with you. I can see you and touch every inch of you." He reached behind me to ruin his hand from my foot, up my leg, over my hip, up my back, and over my shoulder to my breasts and stomach. He played with my breast before dipping his head to kiss them. He wrapped his arms around my waist taking over. He used his legs to lift me and his arms to bring me down. "Look at me."

I lifted my head, shifting my eyes to his, "I'm close."

"I wanna see you." He kissed me again.

When our eyes met everything else fell away. There was nothing, but Sebastian and I. I could hear his breathing, feel the air against my skin. Hear the noises he made. Sighs, moans, catches. See him. His face showing pleasure, his body damp with sweat, and his eyes saying everything. I felt warm all over. More than the physicality of us making love, I felt him. Lost in the heat of the moment, with him moving in me. There was nothing else.

As the intensity increased, I lost track of where I ended and he began. Everywhere we touched was blurred. I couldn't have taken my eyes from his if I tried. "Bastian." His name was a whisper on my last breath before my orgasm.

He smiled and held me down on him, "Em’."

We rode out our orgasms, not breaking eye contact until the very end when we kissed just as slow and gentle as when we'd started. Sebastian loosened his grip and ran his hands over my back. I stroked his face before resting my hands on his chest.

"Well... " Sebastian looked mischievous. "Guess that’s how it's different."

“We need to figure out how to do it again."

"Oh yeah." He kissed me then laughed. "I should tell you something. I hate being called Bastian."

I gasped in absolute horror, "Sebastian!"

His fingers over my mouth silenced me, "Except when you do it. Don't ever stop."

"You told me. It was in your list of names." When he introduced himself. I could not believe him.

He shook his head, almost laughing. "I know. I was nervous. It’s a close second behind Sebasti-an." He laid down, keeping me with him. I felt him slip out of me. He frowned, "That makes me sad."

I sat up, scooting down on his thighs to get rid of the condom, then laid down half on him. My fingers played on his chest and his were on my shoulder. I lay there soaking in his warmth and feeling wonderfully content I kissed his chest before moving up to kiss his lips. "I don't know how it could get any better than right now."

"Being me is pretty damn good."

I put a hand in the middle of his chest and pushed myself up, "I'll be right back." I ran downstairs to more his laundry and brought back a bottle of water.

I handed the bottle to Sebastian while I crawled back in bed. Settling against him, I threw an arm and a leg over him.

After putting the bottle on the nightstand, he tickled along my arm as I did the same on his chest. "What time do we need to be at school tomorrow?"

"No set time. Packed and labeled before Friday. When's your mom want us to come over?" Before he could answer I added. "We were supposed to be at your place and you need to work."

Sebastian smiled and kissed me, "I didn't fully think this out. Nothing past getting back to you." He switched from tickling my arm to tickling the side of my breast. I was going to lose him soon.

Since he was playing, I moved my hand from his chest to as low on his stomach I could go and still call it his stomach. "How about we spend Friday with your family. Go back to yours that night or Saturday. You work. I'll amuse myself. Eli has a gig Saturday night. Spend Sunday in bed. I'll come home Monday or Tuesday. Game on Wednesday. Leave for Paris on Friday." While I'd been talking, I skimmed my fingers over his skin, even brushing where his hardening cock stood up from his body.

His hand left my breast to rub his face. "You know I'll agree to anything you say right now, right? I know you've been saying words, but I might have missed some."

I think he's exaggerating. Cute, though. "You think on it."

"Yeah. That's what I'm going to do. Think on it." He rolled onto me to reach into the nightstand on his side of the bed. "I'll just put this on."

I licked my lips, "You think better wearing a condom?"

He made a face and nodded once before shaking his head no. "Absolutely."

A pair of orgasms later we jumped into the shower and were out of the house by five. On the way to pick up Mallory, he called his mom to tell her we'd be over Friday. The rest of my proposed timeline worked for him too.

Mallory jumped in the back seat, "Sweet, a chauffeur!"

"We prefer driver now." He said with a smile. He reached over and rubbed my leg, "Show her the picture she took." Looking in the rearview mirror he met her eyes, "Drinks are on me tonight."

I unlocked my phone and handed it to Mallory with the last picture, the posed one, showing. Mallory pouted, "Aw, so cute. Guess you figured out I took more." She scrolled back and from her eyes I knew when she got to the one, "I love this!”

"We do too."

"I took a photography class a couple of years ago. An adult continuing ed thing. It's insane how good some camera phones are now."

For the rest of the drive Mallory and Sebastian talked photography. In the parking lot he said something about taking pictures of me. He grimaced, "Did that sound as creepy as I think?"

Mallory and I laughed, "Yeah."

The court was in front of the bar on the corner of two streets. High nets were hung all the way around. We walked around from the parking lot in the back. Sebastian slung his arm around my shoulder, "This is a dive."

I laughed, "Oh yeah."

"You get the paperwork. Mallory and I will get tables."

By the time I got back to them, they'd pulled tables closer to the railing. Samantha, Sebastian, and Mallory had taken the middle most chairs on the rail. I hugged Lindsey before Sebastian gave me his seat and I hugged Sam. The rest of the team, Nia, Dawn, and Cindy got there while I was filling out our form.

Becky signed before asking me, "How was Georgia?"

I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue, "Amy and I had a great time hanging out together and with some old friends. Argued with my mother almost every day including on the way to the airport." I felt Sebastian's hand on my lower back. Silent support like the after the tournament. I hadn't told him about the drive to the airport. I turned my head toward him, "Everything we talked about I said out loud."

"Sorry.” He cringed and kissed me, “But she did have an interesting spa visit."

I appreciated him diverting the conversation and laughed.

Scott came walking up carrying a cardboard box. He was looking at Sebastian. "I've been waiting for you to come back. I got a Cricut."

Others looked in the box and Sebastian shook his head, "I don't know what that is."

Usually Scott would use the moment for a sarcastic comment, but not today. Well, not to Sebastian. "It's a machine to cut out designs then you can use a heat press to make t-shirts." He pulled out a blue t-shirt that matched our team shirts. "I made a bunch. Some better than others." He tossed the one he held to Sebastian while everyone else grabbed from the pile.

Sebastian held it up, "This is great, Scott." He turned it around, "I was hoping beer bitch was on the back."

Sam glared at him, "I wouldn’t wear that."

"I would." Sebastian took off his newly laundered shirt and turned to give it to me.

While his back was turned Cindy dropped her mouth open and pointed both index fingers at him, then mouthed, "Oh my god."

Sebastian walked over and hugged Scott, "Thank you."

Mallory leaned into my ear and whispered, "How many orgasms have you had since he got here?"

I smiled and held up three fingers.

Sam stood up, "Don't tell the spa story until I get back. I'm going to change inside like civilized people."

Sebastian looked at her, "Perks of being a man."

She yelled back as she walked away, "One of the few." The other women followed Sam.

Part of me wished I could watch the game up here listening to them snark at each other. Mallory would have to fill me in. Cindy, Dawn, and Mallory were back quickly. I could see Nick checking out Cindy. I asked him about the climbing trip he'd taken a few weekends ago. The one I already knew all about. Everyone got in on the conversation, but Cindy got interested.

Sam showed back up with a couple of buckets of beer. I turned the offered bottle down. "I don't want a whole. I'll drink some of his."

Sebastian had the bottle turned up. He widened his eyes and brought the bottle down, nearly half gone. I wouldn’t have been surprised had he spit part of it back. "Here ya go, babe."

Mallory said, "I want to hear about the spa."

Sebastian smiled, "It's not the spa as much as the champagne drunk FaceTime I got later."

I laughed, "I only remember parts of the call. Awesome salt scrub then they wrapped me in seaweed."

Several people said, "Seaweed?"

Sebastian chimed in, "Then they left her to . . . marinade." He drew out the last word and everyone laughed.

"They have this specialty two-person massage, which I didn't like. I sent one away." I looked at him, "Did I tell you I felt like I was being prepped as a sacrifice?"

He nodded, "A virgin sacrifice." There was snickering. Sebastian talked to the snickerers. "She got annoyed with me when I said she wasn't a virgin. Told me I didn't know that."

Jeff spit beer, "Sorry."

"I told her I really kinda did."

"I hope so." Jeff laughed.

"Then she slid off the bed head first." Laughter erupted. From me too.

"Well, on that note we should go warm up."

Sebastian turned and we hugged. He moved his hands to my face, kissing me sweetly, "Good luck and I love you."

I smiled, "I love you too."

Mallory grinned and grabbed my hand as I walked by.

FYI ~ Emma’s Instagram has pictures. I need visuals as I describe things and send entirely too long researching what I want.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #fanfiction #sebastian stan X ofc #marvel actor fanfiction

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starstruckkittensweets · 4 years

Text

Chapter XLI (“A Wolf with Wings”)

A/N: Hello again, my lovely readers! Just like before, there is a content warning for this chapter: it contains PTSD-related material and a bit of smut towards the middle. Additional warnings are listed below. Hope you enjoy! :)

(Also, sorry this chapter is a day late! My home lost power earlier in the week, and I’ve been without WiFi for the past couple of days. But now it’s back on, and everything is back on track!)

Fandom: Attack on Titan Pairing: Levi x Mia (OC) Words: 14k~

Taglist at the end below the cut! If you want to be added, just let me know!

Smut Warnings: dirty talk, oral sex (male receiving), love bites, masturbation, etc.

|XLI|

The two of us finished cleaning just as the sun began to dip below the horizon. Once we had shoved the cleaning supplies back into the closet and threw those silly white cloths in the laundry basket near the bedroom door, Levi gave me a sideways look, his face as stoic as ever. Even though at least an hour had passed since then, I could still feel his cock resting in my mouth.

“I’ll meet you in the mess hall in a few minutes. I just need to shower.”

A part of me wished he would offer for me to join him, but I stopped myself before I could get too carried away. Despite what had just transpired between us a couple hours earlier, I was nervous at the possibility of him seeing me naked. I thought of the scars on my body, of the constant burns left from the straps of my ODM gear, and I inwardly cringed. I was willing to be intimate with him, but maybe I wasn’t ready to go that far with him just yet.

“O-okay…” I twisted my fingers around each other, keeping my eyes on the floor. “I’ll…I’ll see you there!”

Before he could answer, I raced out of the room and into the hall. When I heard the door shut behind me, I let out a shaky breath, my hands trembling at my sides.

I didn’t regret what had happened between me and Levi. If it was up to me, I would do it again in a heartbeat. There was just something about seeing him in such a vulnerable state that made me excited. I couldn’t believe I had been the one to make him feel that good—I was the one who had made him moan like that. It was because of me (and my mouth) that he had been able to achieve some sort of pleasure from such an unspeakable act.

But as I walked back to my office, my mind began to wander. Had the whole incident been a fluke? Did he only mean for it to be a one-time thing, with no strings attached? Was he only planning on using me for a quick fuck, as I had worried about so many months prior?

I shook my head, recalling his earlier words. He wouldn’t treat me like some common whore from the Underground. He cared about me, he had told me himself. Even though he didn’t know what his feelings for me were, I still mattered to him. I didn’t really have anything to worry about when it came to being tossed aside.

But at the same time, the alternative made my skin crawl. Did he expect this little fling between us to continue? Did he expect me to surrender myself to him, just as he had done to me? Was it just going to be sex between us, or was he considering an emotional thing between us, as well? If he expected sex, did that mean he wanted to be the first to touch me as a virgin?

That thought in particular nearly knocked the air out of my lungs. As I reached my office, I slammed the door behind me and slid down the dark wood, cradling my head in my hands.

What’s wrong with me? Just a few hours earlier I was saying how I wouldn’t mind if Levi was the first—and only—man I would have sex with. But now I’m having second thoughts? Nothing’s changed between us, right? I still care for him…

But I was only lying to myself. Everything had changed between us, and in less than a day, at that. All of those confident thoughts about my virginity had been made earlier—before I had sucked him off. Now, everything was just that much more confusing.

Do I even love him? I know I adore him and I want to keep him safe, but am I willing to admit that I love him? What if he doesn’t love me back? He isn’t the kind of person to throw that term around lightly, so I doubt I’ll ever hear him say it back. How would he react if I managed to tell him I love him?

And the concept of sex opened up a whole other can of worms for me to deal with. Now that the afterglow was gone, I began to question it with a sensible mind. At the time, it seemed like nothing could touch us. But now, I couldn’t stop thinking about the endless possibilities that could come of it.

I knew my body wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. Leyna had inherited all the genes and traits that made her attractive: her gorgeous blond hair, her bright blue eyes, her perfect nails and snow white skin—the list went on and on. I wasn’t ugly, but I wasn’t on her level of beauty, either. But as I grew up, that didn’t really affect me that much. I was training to become a soldier, not a noblewoman preparing for an arranged marriage. So what if I couldn’t turn heads or elicit wolf whistles from the men I passed on the streets? I had dedicated my heart to humanity, not some random man within the Walls. And for the longest time, I had accepted and lived with that fact.

Ever since Levi entered my life, however, I began to pick at the many imperfections that littered my body. My breasts were quite small for a girl my age, and although they were perfect for exercising and using ODM gear, they did next to nothing when it came to attracting guys. My shoulders and the top of my chest were red and raw from the straps of the gear. My back was littered with white slashes from my cadet days. My thighs and legs had multiple bruises—some red, some yellow—from the countless expeditions I had accompanied the Scouts on. I knew no man in their right mind would ever find a body like mine attractive. There were just too many marks to ignore.

When I was naked, even if I was just getting in the shower or going for a swim, I always felt vulnerable. I always had to look over my shoulder, to make sure no one was watching me. I was like a fucking mouse, trembling and waiting to be pounced on by an invisible predator.

Was I willing to let him see that side of me? Was I willing to be that exposed in front of him? What if he didn’t like the way my body looked? What if he thought I had too many scars or bruises? What if he preferred women with fuller breasts? What if he didn’t like the way I carried myself or viewed my scars? I wasn’t ashamed of them, but I wasn’t about to fool myself into thinking any possible lovers wouldn’t have a problem with them.

With a gulp, I remembered his words from earlier, right before I had gone to brush my teeth: “Tonight, it’s all about you.” What could he have possibly planned for me? Did he expect me to go all the way with him tonight? How would he treat me? Would he be as soft and gentle as he had been when we first started, guiding my hand to his hips?

Fuck, I don’t know anymore. All I hope is that our friendship isn’t totally ruined by this whole mess.

With a sigh, I forced myself to straighten up and walk into the bathroom. I needed a shower, anyway. If I was going to meet up with Levi later, there was no way in hell I’d be dirty for him.

|~|

There was a sense of uneasiness between me and the black-haired Scout at the Squad Leaders’ table in the mess hall. While Hanji continued to blabber on to Mike and Ness about her latest Titan capture proposal—Erwin was spared the torture, since he had left for his office a few minutes prior—Levi and I sat across from each other, nervously avoiding eye contact with each other.

My bespectacled friend had finally managed to convince us to leave our “boring” table by the window and sit with the other Squad Leaders in the center of the hall. By this time, I had grown comfortable enough to hold a proper conversation with them. But it was times like this where I wished we were still by ourselves, out of sight from everybody.

What was I supposed to say to him? How was I supposed to speak to him without remembering how his skin had felt against mine or the moans that had left his lips? Hell, I couldn’t even eat properly with him right across from me! With every bite of my food, I couldn’t help remembering how his cock had felt between my lips.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, the two veteran Squad Leaders rose from the table and left. They insisted that Erwin needed to meet with them later on in the night, but from the looks on their faces, I’d say they were just eager to get away from Hanji and her rambling. But the brunette took no notice of this and smiled as they left, and before I could even blink, the three of us were left alone.

Fucking unbelievable.

“Anyway, that’s enough about me. How are you guys? How have you two been spending your day?”

Oh, you know, the usual: training, cleaning, paperwork, you get the idea. Oh, and I also gave Levi head in his office. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind doing it again.

“W-well…” I cleared my throat and started again, not missing the look Levi threw my way. “Not much, really…”

Levi glared at her from over the rim of his tea cup. “I’ve been teaching her how to properly clean. Stupid brat can’t do it to save her life.”

My cheeks burned at his condescending tone. I don’t remember you being so disappointed when I “cleaned” your cock for you—

“Ooh, sounds like fun. You sure do know how to keep a girl interested, Shorty.”

You have no idea, Hanji.

This conversation was already getting too close for comfort; I knew it wouldn’t be long before I lost control of my blushing face. And when I did, Hanji would know exactly what was going on between us. I didn’t want her—or anyone, for that matter—to find out what had gone down in that office between me and the captain. Hell, I didn’t even know what was going on!

I shoved the last piece of bread in my mouth before shooting up from the table. I mumbled something about getting some paperwork done before discarding my tray on the counter in the back. A few moments later, I was racing toward my office, praying that neither Levi nor Hanji would decide to follow me.

As soon as I was inside, with the door latched shut, I flopped down into the chair behind my desk, staring at the papers in front of me. I tried to read over them and fill them out, but the words kept swimming on the page. Every time I tried to write, my mind would wander back to my time in Levi’s office, and eventually, I threw the pen down with a huff and held my head in my hands on the desk.

What was I thinking? Why did I even let it go that far? Why didn’t he try to stop me—or why didn’t I try to stop him? Why didn’t I just stop for a moment and think about the consequences? Why didn’t I try to use my head, like Leyna and Ben always used to say to me?

But no. Instead, I had to act on instinct and lust and passion, and now I was trapped in this fucking mess. And I had no idea how to get myself out of it.

It’s not like I wish it hadn’t happened. I’m glad it did…but I just don’t want him to start seeing me as someone he can go to for a bit of relief every now and then. I mean, we’re still friends, right? I don’t want to sacrifice our friendship for a bit of fucking every now and again. I don’t mind having the physical side…but I want the emotional side, as well.

I didn’t want just sex from him. I wanted him to trust me and confide his troubles and worries to me. I wanted him to wrap me up in his arms at night and let me sleep on his chest. I wanted him to lay his head in my lap so I could play with his hair and hum to him. I wanted to tell him every little thing I could about my life before I met him—about my family, my cadet days, my dreams as a young girl—and I wanted him to do the same to me. I wanted to know every detail I could about his old life in the Underground City, back when he still lived with his mother, and when he lived with Furlan and Isabel. I wanted him to see me as someone he would be willing to spend the rest of his life with.

Oh, just come clean already, Wolf. Admit it: you want him to tell you he loves you.

The word love terrified me, even after all these years. I had only ever said it to one other guy, and he was currently on the third floor of this castle, writing up reports for the royal assembly. I was used to saying it to my parents or my siblings, or even Hanji. But saying it to a potential lover still scared me, especially if it happened to be Levi.

What if he doesn’t love me back? What if he doesn’t see me that way? What if he’s not ready to admit something like that? What if he just—

I nearly jumped out of my own skin at the sudden knock at the door. I knew it was locked, so I didn’t have to worry about anyone barging in. But that didn’t do much to quell my nerves as I stood up and made my way to the door.

“Y-yeah?”

“Mia? It’s me. Can I come in?”

My heart leapt in my throat at Jax’s cheery voice. My skin crawled as I reached up and held my hand against the latch, pressing it into the wood. Even though it was locked, I didn’t trust him not to try and break it down.

I was already a mess—I didn’t need him stressing me out even more!

“N-no… I’m b-busy at the moment.” I cursed at myself for stuttering at every other word. I couldn’t let him see me in such a weak state. “W-what do you want, anyway?”

“Nothing much.” He spoke so freely, as if he wasn’t speaking to the girl he had tried to rape over a decade ago. “I just wanted to drop off some papers. The assembly wants to know every little detail about the Scouts and their Squad Leaders, you know.”

Is he fucking serious? How can he act so calm about all this? Doesn’t he remember anything at all about that night? Why is he acting like it never happened?

I closed my hand over my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut. My head was swimming with all sorts of profanities and insults and curses I wanted to scream at him—but I couldn’t find my voice. Every time I opened my mouth, the words would die right there on my tongue. I never had trouble letting people know exactly what I thought of them, so what was the problem now?

“…Just leave already, Jax. I don’t want to talk to you.”

I knew it was futile to hope he would take the hint and fuck off, so I shouldn’t have felt so miserable when I didn’t hear footsteps outside my door. He was still there, waiting to pounce. For how long, I had no way of knowing.

“Come on, Mia.” I heard him take a deep breath, and the fifteen-year-old version of me recalled how he used to run his hands through his hair when he was stressed. “Why won’t you just talk to me? Come on, we’re both adults here. Can’t we just talk like adults?”

The prickling sensation underneath my skin was almost too much to handle. For a split second, I wanted to open the door and strangle him. But I knew I would only be playing into his hands. He would easily overpower me and barge right into my office, and the rest would be history. I wasn’t about to put myself in that situation.

But at the same time, I couldn’t just sit there and take it. I had to fight back one way or another.

“H-how can you say that?!” I swallowed the lump in my throat, still holding my hand against the latch. “Do you even remember what you…what you…?”

What you tried to do to me that night.

“What do you mean, Mia?” An icy claw raked itself down my spine at his malicious tone. My hands began to tremble as he continued, his voice dripping with venom. “What did I do? Come on, you can say it out loud.”

But I couldn’t, and he knew it. Even after all these years, he still knew me all too well. If I wasn’t able to admit what had happened that night out loud, there was no way I could prove it had even taken place. If I couldn’t open my mouth and put it out there, he would deem himself innocent and walk away unfazed.

Come on, just say it. You said it to Levi. Why can’t you say it to him?

“…You—you tried to—”

“Hm? What did I try to do, sweetheart?” My stomach churned violently at the pet name. Only a few hours earlier, it had sounded so beautiful coming from Levi’s lips. Now, I wanted to curl up and die right there on the spot. “Say it out loud. What did I do?”

What kind of sick pleasure did he get out of torturing me like this? Why did he insist on playing this little game? Did he really have no remorse for his actions, even almost eleven years later? Did he still think he was in the right, even after everything that had happened between us?!

You tried to rape me.

I squeaked in pain, tearing my hands from the latch on the door. My wrists still burned from where he had grabbed me and pinned me down. I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping the sides of my head. I could still hear Jax’s voice through the door, but I couldn’t make out his words.

You tried to rape me.

I still felt the covers of the bed pushing against my back and his weight resting on my chest. My throat filled with bile at the memory of his hands darting between my legs, eager to take what wasn’t his.

You tried to—

“Oh, captain! I didn’t expect to see you out here at this time of night…”

Through the blood pounding in my ears, I managed to hear Jax’s nervous chuckle from outside the room. I held my breath, clinging to the last bit of hope that remained in my chest. My teeth found their way around my bottom lip as I waited for my savior to speak.

Please, let it be him.

“I could say the same to you.” A shaky breath left my lips at Levi’s sudden voice. I was safe, as long as he was here. Jax wouldn’t hurt me as long as Levi was nearby. “Captain Wolf has had a long day; she doesn’t need you up her ass, bothering her with all that government shit.”

Jax cleared his throat, and I heard the soft rustling of papers. Huh, I guess he wasn’t lying when he said he had paperwork for me. Still, I wasn’t going to open the door until I was certain it was safe.

“Oh, don’t mind me, I’d never dream of bothering her. I just wanted to drop off these papers, and I was hoping—”

He cut himself off with his own gasp. From the sharp crinkling of papers, I could only assume Levi had snatched them out of his hands.

“I’ll make sure she gets them. Now, it’s getting late. Why don’t you head back for the night?”

There was no mistaking the hardness in Levi’s voice. For his sake, I prayed that Jax would take the hint and scurry off into the night. Who knew what Levi would do to him if he stayed out here for much longer?

There was a single knock at the door. Only when I heard Levi say, “It’s me, Wolf” did I unlatch the hook and open the door. I kept my eyes on the floor, only daring to peek at the tips of Jax’s shoes outside in the hallway.

Before I could blink, the door was shut again, and Levi was safely inside. He slid the lock back into place before unceremoniously tossing the thin stack of papers on my desk. A second later, his hands were curled around my shoulders, and he was staring at me with that gorgeous silver gaze.

“He didn’t say anything to you, did he?”

I shook my head, but by the frown on his face, I could tell he knew I was lying. But what was I supposed to say? I didn’t want to burden him with any of my other problems, especially with the mess we were currently in. My best bet would be to put it aside and deal with it later on my own.

Yeah, because that always works out for you in the end.

“I’m okay. He was just asking me about a few things. Paperwork and all that…”

I was a terrible liar, and we both knew it, but I was thankful he dropped the subject after that. I took in a deep breath before heading over to the couch, where my father’s journal rested on the coffee table in front of it. I hadn’t read from it in quite a few days, and I was still barely a quarter of the way through. With everything that had been going on in the past few months, I barely had any time to sit down and read.

“…Thanks for taking those papers from him. I guess I should start on them as soon as I can…”

“Tch, the damn paperwork can wait, brat. You look like you’re going to pass out at any minute.”

He sent me a fierce glare before heading over to the far side of the office and toward the small fireplace. Over the rest of the winter months, the Squad Leaders were gifted with little fireplace pits to keep their rooms warm. I only used mine for myself every once in a while; it only ever got used when I decided to make tea—and judging by the way Levi was shifting through the pots and cups on the table beside it, I could only assume that was his intention.

As he busied himself with the tea, I kicked off my boots and pulled my knees up to my chest on the sofa. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn’t know what to say. I still had no idea how to address our earlier incident in his office.

Is this going to become a regular thing between us? Is he interested in hooking up every once in a while, like what we did earlier? Am I up for something like that, especially with the state I’m in? I mean, I can’t even talk to Jax without fucking up! How the hell am I supposed to have sex with Levi?!

Shit, I wonder if he regrets doing that with me… Maybe I read the signs wrong. Maybe everything he said was just in the heat of the moment, and he didn’t really mean any of it. Am I supposed to take him seriously or just brush him off?

I reached up to the necklace at my throat and cradled the little wolf charm between my thumb and forefinger, smiling just a bit as I remembered the simpler days in Shiganshina, when all I had to worry about was running faster than my brother and sister whenever we raced around our little home. I remembered the stories Dad would tell me about his days in the Survey Corps as a young cadet and the countless Titans he slayed during his time beyond the Walls. I remembered Ma’s sweet smile and her delicious cooking, and the fact that, no matter how much Leyna and I begged her to teach us how to make her famous recipes, she would always shake her head and insist she would do so when we were older.

I remembered Leyna, and the way she would sew the many tears I would accidentally get on my dresses and skirts. She would only shake her head and sigh before making me sit at the kitchen table, working that tiny needle in the same way our mother taught us. Even back then, with her twin braids and bright pink outfits, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on.

I remembered Ben and the many times he helped me with my schoolwork, especially when I started falling behind in math. When we grew older, and he grew taller, he started seeing me as less of a fellow triplet and more of a younger sister. That’s when he started giving me bear hugs and ruffling up my hair. But it never got on my nerves; I knew he did all those things out of love.

“Brat, you still there?”

I nearly jumped at the baritone voice and glanced up at the man before me. He was holding out a fresh cup of tea, gripping it by the rim instead of the handle. Even though I knew to expect it at this point, the little action still made me smile.

“O-oh, thanks…”

I took the cup from him and sipped at it immediately, not even caring whether or not I burned my tongue. As the rich liquid slid down my throat, I found myself craving more and more. No matter his faults, Levi always knew how to make a damn good cup of tea.

He took a seat next to me on the sofa, leaving only a bit of space between us. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him sip at his own cup before placing it on the table, right next to Dad’s old journal. I kept my own cup in my hands, savoring the warmth it brought me.

The two of us sat in silence for a few moments, with only the sound of our breathing filling the air. Eventually, I placed my feet back on the floor, bouncing my leg up and down. I knew it was ridiculous to act so shy around Levi, especially after the two of us had gotten so up close and personal with each other just a few hours ago, but I couldn’t help it. I had no idea what to expect at this point, and it was starting to scare me.

“What’s wrong?”

When I raised an eyebrow at him, trying to play off my nerves, he motioned to my bouncing knee. With a huff, I forced it to stay still—but now my fingers were tapping against the cup. When he realized this, he let out a heavy sigh.

“Is it that bastard again? If he said anything—”

“N-no, it’s not him, I swear.” There was no need for him to be extra angry with Jax at the moment, and as much as I entertained myself with the fantasy of Levi going after him, I knew it would only do us more harm than good in the end.

Another deafening silence overtook the air between us. Neither of us were social butterflies, which only made this more awkward. Perhaps if we had someone else to break the silence for us—like maybe Hanji or Leyna, or even Erwin, as embarrassing as it was—maybe we wouldn’t be so fucking hopeless with each other.

“Is it…is it about what happened earlier, Wolf?”

I kept my eyes on the tea in my cup, watching the dark brown liquid swirl in the center. I still couldn’t find my voice, so I only nodded.

There, it’s out there. All I can do is hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way.

Suddenly, he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, tangling his hands in his black hair. Now that his eyes weren’t on me, it was easier to look at him and watch his every move.

“Shit, I’m…I’m sorry about that, Mia. I shouldn’t have pushed you into something like that so soon. I should have kept myself in check and—”

The rest of his thought died on his tongue as I reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. He still kept his eyes on his lap, but by the way he leaned into my touch, I knew he was paying attention.

“I’m not mad about that… In fact, I…” Out with it already, Wolf! “…I liked it.” I gripped my tea cup so hard I thought it would shatter right there in my palm. “You didn’t force me into anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. If I didn’t want to do it, I would have said something.”

Besides, even if I did feel uncomfortable with it, I knew Levi would have stopped the moment I asked him to. He was considerate and caring, as much as he tried to deny it. If he knew something was really making me nervous or scared, he would do everything in his power to stop it and help me through it. I trusted him with my life at this point, and I knew he would never go down the same dark route Jax had taken.

“It’s just… Now, I don’t know where we are.” My throat tightened, but I forced myself to continue. “…Do you want something like that with me? Or was it just a one-time thing? Is it worth it? Are you even interested in…having a relationship like that?”

I didn’t know what I would do if he told me he wasn’t interested in maintaining a real relationship with me. I had managed to ease those doubts of his back in Utopia District a few weeks ago, but that didn’t mean they were gone for good. What if this continued between us, and one of us got hurt? What if either of us died? What if I accidentally became pregnant?

I didn’t want to end up like Anna and sacrifice my life as a soldier for a baby. As much as I wanted children of my own someday, I knew that my heart belonged to humanity first and foremost. Only when the Titans had been eradicated from this world could I allow myself to think about starting a family of my own.

Did Levi feel the same way? Was he so committed to wiping out the Titans and helping Erwin achieve his goals that he thought anything else was unnecessary? Was he willing to sacrifice our relationship for something like that? Did he hold the same fears I held—about the possibility of bringing children into this hellish world?

Am I really going to have to choose between my dedication to humanity and my affection for Levi?

My chest tightened as he lifted his head, those sad silver eyes burning into my own. With his sunken face, tense shoulders, and tousled black hair, I had never seen him look so ashamed of himself. Did he really think he was the one at fault here? Did he really believe he had forced me into something I didn’t want to do? If he had, I wouldn’t even be talking to him right now! Why couldn’t he get that through his thick skull?!

“I don’t want you to feel obliged to do anything you don’t want to do. You don’t have to worry about me, I can deal with my own problems myself. Don’t offer something like that just to make me feel better.”

“But…” My eyes grew warm with tears, but I did my best to hold them back. I didn’t want to cry in front of him again. “I…I want to have that…”

The intensity of his gaze was starting to become too much, so I stared into my lap instead, clutching the tea cup with both hands. As I continued to talk, I could feel my neck and face flood with heat.

“When we were in your office earlier…I liked seeing that side of you. I liked kissing you, and I liked being able to make you feel good.” And I loved having you inside of my mouth. “…I know it sounds weird, but you…you made me feel like I mattered. And I don’t want to ever forget that feeling.”

I knew it only made sense to me, but it was the truth. Despite the submissive position I had been in, I still felt powerful. I still felt safe and in control, and I knew it was because of me and my actions that Levi was able to feel some sort of pleasure. Even though he had treated me a bit roughly, he still made me feel special. Apart from his deceased lover from the Underground City, whose name I didn’t even know, I was the only other woman he trusted to be intimate with. Besides, I didn’t really have a problem with being treated a little roughly during sex—that was all part of the experience, right? I knew he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me.

“Listen, you don’t have to give me an answer if you don’t want to. I know you probably don’t feel the same way—”

Suddenly, his fingers brushed against my cheek, tracing the white scar on my skin. I didn’t fight back when he cupped my chin and tilted my head to face him. I didn’t even move an inch when he took the tea cup out of my hands and placed it on the coffee table next to his. I simply stared at him, waiting for him to speak.

But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he placed his other hand on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him—so close that our noses were touching. I could feel my eyes flutter shut as he brought my lips to his in a soft kiss.

I didn’t waste a second. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, bringing him as close as I could. His hands left my head for my waist, and before I knew it, I was resting on his lap, still kissing that perfect mouth of his.

It was much different than our kiss from before, but I wasn’t complaining. His lips were chapped but gentle, and he held me so carefully in his lap. His warm hands were a comforting weight on my lower back; when he pulled me closer, I found myself smiling like an idiot. His black locks were thick and silky, easily slipping between my fingers.

He wasn’t hurting me in any way, nor was he being controlling or dominating. He was mindful wherever he let his hands wander, making sure I didn’t accidentally slide off his lap and onto the floor. The longer I stayed in his arms, the more my chest began to ache. He handled me like I was something precious.

I almost whined when he pulled away from me, but I bit my tongue before it could escape. There was no doubt in my mind he would tease me about it, if he happened to hear something like that. No need to give him something else to hold over me.

“Mia,” he whispered in the softest voice I’d ever heard from him, “don’t ever suggest that I don’t feel the same way about you. You’re one of the few things in my life that make this whole fucking world worth living in. You give me a reason to fight, and at the end of the day, seeing your smile makes it all worth it.”

At this point, I couldn’t hold back the smile on my face. This was as close to a real confession as I was ever going to get out of this man, but it was more than enough for me. But before I could say anything, he pressed a finger to my lips and continued to speak. Maybe it was the dim lighting in the room, but the shadow of blue in his eyes was stronger than ever.

“I want to live a life with no regrets. And if I keep myself from this—from you…” He squeezed his eyes shut, bowing his head slightly. “I don’t want to leave this world wondering how things would’ve ended up if I kept my mouth shut. I want this, Mia—I want you. And I can’t hold myself back anymore.”

Before he could say anything else, I pressed my hands on either side of his face and pulled him in for another kiss. This time, I ran my tongue along his lips, humming when he opened his mouth and allowed me inside. I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck, and when we finally broke apart, I was pleased to see a faint tinge of red on his cheeks.

“I don’t want you to hold yourself back. I want you, too. I know it won’t be easy, but I’m willing to risk it if you are.”

His breath was hot and moist against my swollen lips. “Okay.” He pressed a sweet kiss to my forehead before moving back down to my lips.

It didn’t take long for the kiss to become heated. I gripped his hair and pressed myself into his chest, earning a soft grunt from him. I made sure to breathe through my nose, to make sure I didn’t have to pull away from him.

Without thinking, I bucked my hips into his. A low growl spilled from his lips as he brought me down into his lap again, grinding my lower half into his. A triumphant smirk made its way to my mouth when I felt that familiar bulge in his pants—and my thighs began to tremble at the thought of having his cock in my mouth again so soon.

“You’re such a fucking brat,” he growled against the shell of my ear as I brought my hips into his. “You want this? You think you’re getting this cock again?”

A needy whine filled the air. For a brief moment, I wondered if my parents—and my brother and sister—would be ashamed of me upon seeing me act like this.

His chest rumbled with another chuckle—but this one sounded darker than usual. I sucked in a deep breath as he scooped me up and placed me back on the couch, my back pressed against the cushions. My head fell back against the pillows near the arm as he crawled over to me, his body hovering over mine.

“Too bad. You had your chance earlier. Now it’s my turn.”

His hand traveled around my waist and rested on my stomach, cutting off any remark I could have made. Instead of moving up to my breasts like I thought he would, he trailed down to the front of my waist and closer to my thighs. His fingers prodded at the button at the seam, toying with the zipper below it.

“I told you, tonight’s all about you, sweetheart.”

In a flash, he dipped his fingers below the waistline of my pants. I gasped as his hand fluttered against the fabric of my panties, teasing the area just above my clit. The taste of blood washed over my tongue; I hadn’t even noticed I had bitten my lip.

He wants to see me for real this time. He wants to pay me back for what I did for him earlier. Is he serious about all this? Is he willing to actually do this to me?

Am I willing to let him do this?

“W-wait!”

He yanked his hand away at once, and when I looked into his eyes again, a wave of guilt washed over me. He looked so fucking depressed, you would think he had actually hurt me.

“I-I’m sorry,” I muttered, burying my face in my hands. “It’s just—”

For fuck’s sake, what is wrong with me?! Why am I getting so nervous all of a sudden?!

But when I peeked at him from between my fingers, he didn’t seem angry or frustrated in the slightest. He brushed my hair to the side, tracing his hand along my cheek. He reached up and kissed my forehead, and when he spoke, his lips brushed against the skin of my temple.

“We don’t have to rush things if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to be scared of me.”

Despite my nervous state, I had to stifle a laugh at that. “I could never be scared of you, Levi.” But in all honesty, I was grateful for his concern. At least I could wait until I felt a little more comfortable to indulge in some more intimacy with him.

I had no problem with the thought of pleasuring him. If he asked right now for me to go down on him, I would do so without hesitation. It was the least I could do for all he had done for me in the past. Besides, it was exciting to know I was the only one who could bring him to his knees.

But when it came to my own pleasure? I was fucking terrified. Even though I trusted him with everything I had, I still wasn’t ready for him to see me in such a vulnerable state. Although I had thought about it multiple times before, I wasn’t ready for him to see me naked just yet.

“Can we…just wait a little bit? I-I don’t have a problem with it, and I’m glad you w-want to do that with me, but…” I swallowed hard, still hiding behind my sweaty hands. “…I don’t think I’m ready for that…”

Wow, what a fucking asshole you are, Wolf. He lets you see the most intimate parts of him, and you won’t even return the favor? Are you fucking insane?! I’ll be surprised if he stays with you after he hears that.

But I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to scare him or make him nervous if I suddenly burst into tears during sex or something. I didn’t trust myself enough to keep it together, as much as I wanted to.

Why am I like this? Why am I so scared? I trust him completely, so why am I still terrified?

But deep down, I knew the answer to that question. My attitude about myself and my body in relation to sex was a product of Jax’s influence on me. Ever since the night of our graduation ceremony, I started to distance myself from the idea of sex and intimacy in general. Now that I finally had a chance to explore it with someone I truly cared about—someone who was determined to keep me safe no matter what—I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was still so scared, and even though I knew Levi was nothing like Jax, I couldn’t help but see his face whenever he reached out to touch me.

It all came back to Jax, just like everything else in my life. Even when I could admit to what he had tried to do to me, and even though I knew he couldn’t hurt me anymore, he still had control over my life.

And I was fucking sick of it.

There was a gentle tug at my wrists, and a moment later, I was staring into those gorgeous gray eyes. He reached over and cupped my face in his hands, holding himself up by his knees on either side of me, and dragging his thumb across the scar on my cheek. Judging by the gentle way he was holding me, and the beautiful blue light in his eyes, he seemed to understand.

“We can wait for as long as you want, Mia.”

I knew he was probably thinking about Jax himself—and suspecting him as the reason for my behavior—but he said nothing. I was grateful for that; I didn’t want to be reminded of that bastard any more than I already was.

I nodded slowly, pressing my face deeper into his hands. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His body was comforting on top of mine, his skin warm and his chest pressed against my own. He nestled his face into the crook of my neck, and as my fingers played aimlessly with his black hair, I found myself smiling.

I could feel his strong heartbeat thrumming against the skin of my chest, even with the fabric of our shirts between us.

I love you.

My eyes shot open as the sudden thought splashed across my mind. I had no idea why I was suddenly thinking of something like that, or what had brought it on in the first place, but I had admitted it. Even if it hadn’t been out loud, I had said it to myself, and there was still an incredible amount of weight to those words.

I love him. I don’t know when I started to feel like this, but I love him. Should I say it out loud? Wait, no, don’t do it. It’s too soon. Besides, it’ll just ruin the moment.

As I repeated the words over and over in my mind, my smile only grew wider. I leaned down and kissed the side of his neck, his skin still hot against mine.

I love you.

“…Hey, Levi?”

I could feel his chest rumble as he sighed. “What is it now, brat?”

At least his attitude hasn’t changed much because of this. “…Can you do something for me?”

“Depends on what it is.”

Oh, I think you’ll like this, captain.

“…Can you give me a few more of those marks—I mean, those bites? …You know, like the one you gave me in my office a few months ago?”

It was a question that had been on my tongue ever since he had given me my first one. Of course, I had been too scared to ask him for more, especially after our fight before that horrid winter expedition. But now there wasn’t anything holding us back. All I could do at this point was ask him and hear his answer.

I could feel his face scrunch up into a frown against my neck, but before he could say anything, I quickly added something else: “If you do, I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

The bulge in his pants was still pressing against my thigh. Even in all the confusion a few seconds ago, it hadn’t gone away. While a part of me was a little intimidated at that, a larger part was absolutely thrilled. If he complied with my little request, I would do anything he asked of me.

He groaned again, his breath pooling over my neck. “Mind telling me why you would want more of those things?”

My face flushed at his words, but I forced myself to answer him anyway. “Well…isn’t that how you…you know, mark something as yours? I-I mean, a lot of people do it, it’s just a way to mark…something that belongs to you…”

What the fuck am I even saying? Can you sound more pathetic than you already do, Wolf?

Levi raised his head from my neck, and my throat tightened once I saw the dark glint in those beautiful eyes of his. He placed one hand in my hair, pulling on it gently and craning my neck to the side. Meanwhile, he busied his other hand with the first few buttons of my shirt, exposing my throat and collarbone. I drew in another sharp breath as the cool air hit my skin, in perfect contrast to his hot breath.

“Is that why you want it so bad?” My entire body was trembling at the sound of his deep voice. “You want me to mark you up?” He lowered himself to my neck, and I whimpered when his lips ghosted over my skin. “You want me to claim you as mine, is that right?”

“Y-yes…” By the Walls, don’t I have any shame left? Why am I enjoying this so much?

His fingers tightened their grip in my hair, and I let out a startled squeak. “I want to hear you say it.”

I could feel his hard length against my thigh, still straining against his pants. Before I could stop myself, I pushed my leg up and into his crotch, earning myself another growl from him. He tilted my neck further back, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear.

“Say it, brat. Who do you belong to?”

I was starting to get wet—and if he kept this up, I was certain I would soak through my panties, just like I had earlier in his office. For a split second, I wished I wasn’t such a fucking coward when it came to sex and intimacy, just so I could feel some relief.

What I wouldn’t give to have him inside of me…

But I knew I would just freeze up and cause him to worry, and then the mood would be ruined entirely. I could always tend to my own needs later—and maybe even with an audience, if he was into that.

“Y-you, Levi.” I was panting hard at this point, and my clit practically burned, begging to be touched. Through the haze my mind had become, I contemplated sneaking a hand down between our bodies to relieve myself, but I didn’t know how he would react to that. “I…I belong to you—only you—”

A strangled moan filled the air as he pressed his lips to my neck, biting and sucking at every inch of skin he could reach. With every stroke of his tongue, I pushed my knee up against his clothed cock, creating as much friction as I could. But I knew I couldn’t keep it up for too long. If he continued to do this, I would become nothing more than a quivering mess beneath him.

“You’re fucking right,” he mumbled, dragging his mouth to my collarbone. He nipped the left side—the same spot he had left my first love bite in. “You belong to me, brat. No one else.” I gasped as he gave a particularly sharp bite to the area just above my left breast. “No one else gets to see you like this, understand?”

Fuck, why does everything he says have to be so sexy?! “Y-yes, captain.”

At the sound of his title, he bucked his hips into my thigh rather painfully. But I didn’t care. I couldn’t even think straight at the moment. All I could focus on was the ache between my thighs and the bites he left on my skin.

“Say it again.”

“C-captain, I…I’m yours.”

He shifted to the right side of my collarbone, giving it the same treatment as the other one. I buried my fingers in his hair, fisting the silky black locks and pulling him towards me. I knew I was being loud, but I couldn’t stop the moans from spilling out. I was far from being embarrassed at this point.

“You like when I treat you like this, sweetheart? You like when I mark you up as mine?” He sucked sharply on my right shoulder; I could only imagine the bruise it would leave the next day. “What else do you like, huh? What else do you want from your captain?”

Even though we were of equal rank, it was still exciting to have him in a position of higher power over me. I would never admit it out loud, but I loved the way he was treating me, love bites and pain and all. With each stroke of his hips into my knee came a burst of cool air—and when it brushed my inner thighs, I could tell I had soaked through my pants. No matter what he did to me, I still found myself getting wet with need.

“Answer me, sweetheart. What do you want from me?”

I tried to calm my ragged breaths, but to no avail. With a swallow, I forced myself to speak.

“…I…I want—”

“Spit it out, brat. What do you want?”

“I w-want your—”

He cut me off with a sharp jab of his hips, and as I struggled to catch my breath, I could feel him smirk against my throat. “I can’t hear you. Tell me what you want.”

Another moan spilled from my lips as he sucked on a fresh patch of skin on my neck. “I…I want your cock in my mouth.”

Without another word, he straightened up and pulled me off of the couch by my wrists. He shoved me onto the floor between the couch and the coffee table, keeping his hands on my head. I didn’t hesitate to rip open his belt and slide his pants down to his knees. My heartbeat quickened as his cock bobbed against his stomach, flushed red and tipped with a bead of light silvery fluid.

“Look at you,” he groaned as my hand curled around the base, trailing up towards the tip, “so fucking eager for my cock. You want me to fuck your pretty little mouth, just like last time?”

I barely had enough sense in me to hold myself back from shoving my free hand down my pants. He knew just what to say to get me all worked up.

“Y-yes, I do.” I rubbed my thumb around the tip of his cock, spreading the fluid all around the head. Now that I was in a familiar position, I began to feel a little more confident. “Let me please you, captain.”

He groaned as I began to drag my hand up and down his length at a slow pace. I wanted nothing more than to lean down and suck him off with everything I had, but I wanted to make this moment last for as long as I could. Seeing him in such a flustered state gave me a thrill, and I wanted to see how long I could get away with teasing him like this.

Probably not too long, but I’ll enjoy it while I can.

“You like that, captain?” I couldn’t stop myself from smirking as he leaned his head back against the couch, his lips parted and his eyes screwed shut. “You like my hand around your cock?”

He yanked on my hair, tilting my head back and forcing me to meet his gaze. His eyes were a dark gray shade, hooded and tinted with lust. “I’ll like it even more once your mouth is on it. Now start sucking.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice.

I hummed softly as I dragged my tongue along the underside of his dick, from the base to the head. I kept my eyes on his, silently savoring the feeling of his fingers twisted in my hair. His breathing grew heavier as I swirled my tongue around the tip, and when I slid him into my mouth, a husky moan filled the air between us.

“That’s it, sweetheart. That’s my good girl…”

I squeezed his muscular thighs as tight as I could, earning another groan from him. My clit whined from between my thighs, but I kept my hands where they were. I wouldn’t touch myself until my captain gave me the order to.

Fuck, why am I into this? Why am I getting off on having Levi treat me like this?

Whatever. I could worry about all of that later. Right now, my sole mission was to bring this man to tears.

He bucked his hips into my mouth, his cock slipping further down my throat. He was being rougher than usual, but I didn’t care. If it made him feel good, that was fine by me.

As he fucked my mouth at a brutal pace, his strangled voice filled the air: “I bet your pussy’s getting wet, isn’t it? Fuck, I wish I could see it…”

I whined around his cock, my nails digging into his bare thighs. It was getting to be too much. If I didn’t do something about the burn between my legs—

He leaned down, his mouth pressing against my ear. “Touch yourself, baby. Let me hear you moan.”

My hands flew to my pants, tearing the belt and throwing the sash to the side. Keeping one hand on his thigh, I pushed my panties aside and started circling my clit. My whole body was flushed red with pleasure with each stroke of my hand. Every time he drove his cock down my throat, I would shut my eyes and moan as loud as I could. I was too far gone to even care if Hanji could hear me from her office down the hall.

He kept groaning as he pushed my head down on his cock; I could feel him twitching against my lips. He was close, just like I was. Another whine slipped out as I dipped two fingers in between my folds, still rubbing my clit as hard as I could.

I had deprived myself of pleasure ever since that night in Mitras, when I had thought of Levi’s body while touching myself in the shower. But this felt so much better than that night had been. He wasn’t even touching me directly, and he could still make me lose my senses.

“There you go, sweetheart. That’s what I like to hear.”

He raised his hips off the couch and bucked into my mouth hard, hitting the back of my throat. Tears pricked my eyes and drool dripped from my mouth. I drove my fingers into my pussy, still pinching and playing with my clit. It felt so good, so right, and I didn’t want it to stop any time soon.

Fuck, I’m close. By the way his hands fisted themselves into my hair, it felt like he was close, as well.

I almost screamed around his cock as my vision went white. My clit throbbed against my thumb as I came, my juices soaking my palm. As I hummed around his dick, he tightened his grip on either side of my head and pulled me in as hard as he could. My nose brushed against the small patch of dark hair on his hips as he moaned. A moment later, I could feel a hot, salty liquid streaming down my throat.

This time, I didn’t try to pull away. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to swallow it, taking in as much of it as I could. I still coughed a bit when he finally pulled out, but at least I wasn’t choking on it like I had earlier.

The two of us stared at each other, chests heaving and foreheads plastered with sweat. As carefully as I could, I pulled my hand from my pants and wiped the remaining juices on the side of my pants. I would just wash them tomorrow with the rest of my clothes; no need to worry about it now.

I wiped the remnants of his cum off of my lips before pressing a soft kiss to the tip of his cock. My hands were trembling, but I managed to tuck him back into his pants, all the while savoring his hands rubbing my scalp.

When I was finished, he sat up and pulled me back onto the couch, right on his lap. I shivered as he nuzzled the side of my neck, leaving soft kisses along the bite marks he had left minutes earlier.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” I smiled as his chest rumbled with another chuckle, and his arms tightened around my waist. “You’re always so fucking good to me.”

I hugged him back, but when I tried to stand up, he pulled me right back into his chest, grumbling under his breath. The more I struggled, the tighter his grip became, which forced me to stifle a laugh.

“Levi, come on, I have to get cleaned up. Besides, I want to kiss you again, and you said I can’t until I brush my teeth. Isn’t that right?”

For a moment, I thought he would protest and correct his earlier statement. But it appeared his obsession with cleanliness won the argument, and he loosened his arms from my waist. Before I headed into the bathroom, however, I leaned down and kissed the shell of his ear.

“I’m glad I could make you feel good. Maybe we can do it again later.”

He shook his head, running a hand through my hair. “You’re such a fucking horny brat, you know? At least give me a minute to catch my breath before you go and say something like that.”

I only giggled, kissing his forehead before heading towards the bathroom. Before I shut the door behind me, I glanced over my shoulder at him. Those burning silver eyes were still on me, hopeful for another round.

Maybe I can indulge in his wishes for a little while longer. The night is still young, right?

|~|

Hanji knew something was off the moment she saw me in the mess hall the following morning. Levi wasn’t there with us, since he had an early meeting with Commander Erwin, and Mike and Ness were already busy training with their squads. Even so, she could tell something wasn’t right with me—especially when she started talking to me.

My throat and jaw were sore from the previous night; apparently, it didn’t take long at all for Levi to get back in the game. The two of us had stayed awake well into the late hours of the night, when we had finally passed out on my bed, completely spent from our activities. Levi hadn’t been there when I woke up, but I was still satisfied with how everything had turned out last night. With every bite of my food, I had to wince in pain, even if I was just swallowing a small amount. There were also bags under my eyes—I hadn’t gotten that much sleep to begin with, anyway.

But despite all of this, I was on cloud fucking nine.

I couldn’t get my mind off of Levi. I recalled every sound he had made and every word he spoke. I remembered all the things I did to him that made him tick, and with a smile, I made a mental note to do those things the next time we found ourselves in such a situation. I still didn’t feel comfortable with him touching me, but thanks to last night, I was more confident than ever with him. Hopefully with time, I would warm up to the idea of him pleasuring me the same way I pleasured him.

“Hello? Mia, you there?”

I shook my head, snapping myself out of my daze. Hanji stared at me with wide brown eyes, the edges of her goggles tinted with morning sunlight. The two of us were seated at the Squad Leaders’ table in the center of the hall; as I realized this, I began to feel self-conscious at all the soldiers seated around me.

Did they just see me spacing out? Or is Hanji the only one?

“Mia!”

“Yes, what? I’m sorry, I just…I’m a little tired…”

She rolled her eyes, a playful smile on her lips. “Apparently. Didn’t you get any sleep at all last night?”

You mean before or after I gave Levi a blowjob? Either way, the answer is not much. “Uh…not really… Last night was…pretty hard.” Tch, I’ll say.

She nodded slowly, her eyes trailing over my face in deep thought. Suddenly, once she took a quick scan of the room to check if any of the nearby soldiers were eavesdropping on us, she leaned across the table and spoke in a low voice.

“Listen, I know it’s not any of my business… But I’m happy for you.”

Wait, what the fuck?

“…Huh?”

She rolled her eyes again before standing up from her seat. In a flash, she wormed her way on the bench beside me, her body pressing into my own. She hummed and nodded, her eyes glued to the side of my neck.

“…What are you looking at?”

“You got a little, um…bite there.”

She motioned to the left side of her neck, and instinctively, I slapped a hand over my own. I knew exactly which bite she was talking about. Shit, I thought I had covered those up!

“L-look, it’s not—”

“Oh, I know exactly what it is, Mia.” As her lips pulled up into a smirk, I could feel my face start to burn with a blush. “And don’t try to tell me you tripped and hurt yourself again, because we both know that’s not true.”

Fuck, how much does she know?! Does she think we’re some kind of couple now?! I mean, we kind of are at this point, but no one’s supposed to know that! It’s supposed to be a secret!

“…Hanji, I swear, it’s not a love bite!”

Her smirk grew even wider. “I only said it was a bite—I never said it was a love bite.”

Shit, no! She can’t find out!

But it was too late. Hanji had the sharpest mind of anyone I knew—even sharper than Commander Erwin’s and Commander Shadis’ combined. It only took her a handful of seconds to piece together the puzzle, and once she did, she was determined to inspect every single inch of it. If she suspected something between me and Levi, even more than she already did, there was no way I was getting out of here unscathed.

“But it’s okay!” she added quickly, holding up her hands in surrender. “I’m not mad at you! I’m happy for you two! It’s about time you two got serious!”

I shrugged my shoulders, keeping my eyes glued to the table in front of me. “…Nothing major happened, Hanji. He just gave me a few bites, that’s it.”

“Hm…” Suddenly, her breath brushed over the skin of my ear, causing me to jump. “Then how do you explain all those sounds I heard from down the hall last night?”

Several Scouts jerked their heads in our direction once they heard me gasp. I slapped a hand over my mouth, my face bright red as I stared at my lap. As the stares began to dissolve, Hanji nudged me with her elbow, a huge shit-eating grin on her face.

“So tell me, what’s he like? Does he make up for his height in other places?”

“N-no—I mean, maybe—but that’s none of your business!” I hid my face in my hands, digging my nails deep into my cheeks and forehead. “H-how did you even hear us last night?!”

“You two weren’t exactly quiet. Honestly, Mia, you were the one who was being so loud. Poor Moblit looked like he was going to faint once he realized it was you making all those sounds.”

“Stop it!” By now I was sure my face would burn itself off. “I…I didn’t mean to do that!”

“No, but I’m sure you meant to sleep with him—”

“Shut up!” I pressed my hands over her mouth, glancing around to make sure none of the other soldiers were paying attention. Thankfully, it looked like we were in the clear. But that didn’t stop me from glaring at her. “Hanji, we didn’t do anything like that last night. I’m still…you know…”

A virgin.

Her eyes shone behind those huge goggles of hers, and she slowly nodded her head. “Ah, I see…” Her voice was partially muffled by my hand, so I pulled them away before she could continue. “Then…what were those noises?”

I swallowed hard, still feeling the ache in my jaw. Better to tell her now rather than later, right? “…Well…I just wanted to make him feel good. So I—ugh, do I have to spell it out? You know exactly what I did to him!”

She let out a laugh before clapping me on the back, right between my shoulder blades. I winced as she pulled her hand away; she really didn’t know when to hold back sometimes.

“I know, I know! I just like seeing you so uncomfortable. It’s a hobby at this point.” Oh, you don’t say? “But really, I’m happy for you. It’s about time Shorty’s made a move. I’ll have to tease him about it later…”

I opened my mouth to tell her not to bother, but snapped it shut when I realized it was futile. No matter what I said, she would always go against my advice and do what she wanted anyway. I mean, that’s what she did to Moblit on a regular basis. What made me think I had much of an influence on her, anyway?

“Fine, whatever. But can you please just keep this between us? I don’t want the whole base knowing we’re practically a couple…”

Especially Jax, but that was a conversation for another day. It was too early in the morning to start thinking about him.

Hanji nodded, patting me on the back again. “Don’t worry, buddy! Your little secret’s safe with me!”

Of course, Hanji could be very selective with her secrets. Some she would keep until the day she died, but others she would blabber about the minute she could. I could only hope she would keep her mouth shut about this particular one.

|~|

My squad met me in our usual training spot, in the small meadow behind the main castle. However, when I got there after an anxious breakfast with Hanji, I realized I only counted three instead of four.

“Where’s Enns?” Indeed, the smallest boy of my group of cadets was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t like him to be late for training, especially when it came to hand-to-hand combat.

Evan swung his arms out in a stretch, nearly knocking Gretel in the head with his fist. “He was in the mess hall earlier,” he replied, calmly ignoring the furious glare Gretel sent his way, “but he said he wanted to ask one of the stable hands about his horse before training, or something like that. I think he may still be in there…”

It wasn’t unusual for Murphy to hang around the stables in his free time. Much like Evan—and to Gretel’s discomfort—the brown-eyed boy held a deep love for horses, and he was particular fond of his own horse, a chestnut mare with a floppy black mane. I hadn’t gotten a chance to ask him what he had named her, but judging by the way he was always in the stables with her, it was safe to assume he had given her one already.

Still, that was no reason to be late for training. It wasn’t like I blew off training just for an extra few minutes in Edel’s stall.

“Alright, do your warm-ups and practice your forms. I’ll be right back. Hertz, keep them in line.” Reggie saluted me with a smile, and once I saw Gretel and Evan do the same, I began to jog in the direction of the stables.

The base was still somewhat quiet this morning, with most of the squads either in the forest practicing their ODM gear training or running laps around the perimeter. My cadets should have considered themselves lucky—unlike many Squad Leaders, I didn’t view running laps as a form of punishment. Instead, I decided to put them through extra hand-to-hand combat training, especially since they had shrugged it off yesterday.

By the Walls, had that really happened just yesterday? It seems like so much time has passed since then…

But before I could let myself linger on it too long, I stepped into the first stable, where my squad kept their horses. I gave both Edel and Mischa a pat on their noses; I could fawn over them later, once our training was over.

Murphy’s mare’s stall was only a few doors down from Evan’s, so it didn’t take me too long to locate it. However, when I got closer to the open door—aha, so Murphy is in there—I began to hear voices. A pair of voices, to be specific.

“I don’t mean to be rude, sir, but I really have to get going. Captain Wolf will have my hide if I’m late to training.”

Murphy. Why does he sound so nervous? Is he really that intimidated by me?

“Oh, just let me ask you one more question. I’d hate to make you late.” My blood froze in my veins as Jax’s voice fluttered through the air. Sure enough, I could see his silhouette in the doorway of the stall, practically towering over Murphy’s smaller frame. “The captain treats you well, right? She doesn’t push you too hard, I hope?”

“…No…”

The poor boy sounded so confused, and honestly, I couldn’t blame him. Why was Jax asking about me to my newest cadet? Did he think he would get dirt on me, or something to use against me? What was his goal?

“Has the captain ever spoken about her past with you?”

I could see Murphy’s shadow lift his hands and hold them out, which almost made me smile. “Ah, no! Not really, I’m sorry. …It’s just, well, none of us really ask her about it… We don’t want to bring up bad memories or anything like that…”

Do they really hold me in such high regard like that? Is that why they never beg me to tell them about my earlier days in the Survey Corps? That’s kind of sweet…

“I understand.” My smile vanished the moment Jax opened his mouth again, and my skin crawled as his familiar laugh filled the dusty air. “She hasn’t changed much at all. We were in the same training corps, you know.”

That’s when I stepped into the doorway, crossing my arms over my chest.

Murphy squeaked upon seeing me, partially hiding himself behind his mare. Jax glanced at me from over his shoulder, sending me a painfully fake smile. I shook my head and focused on my cadet, who nervously stroked his mare’s neck.

“Enns, relax yourself. Go meet with the rest of the squad behind the castle. I’ll be there in just a moment.”

I didn’t have to tell him twice; the boy flew out of the stall at the speed of lightning—but not before giving the mare one last scratch on her neck. Once he latched up the stall and ran out of the stable, I put on my fiercest glare and turned to face Jax. Hopefully I looked braver than I felt.

“What are you doing, cornering my cadets like that?”

“Who said I was cornering him?”

“You were standing between him and the door, refusing to let him leave. That looks a lot like cornering to me.” You fucking bastard, I added silently.

He shrugged his shoulders, running a hand through his thick brown hair. “I’m just trying to get to know the famous Elite Reconnaissance Squad, Mia. So far you have a promising batch of cadets.”

My nails dug into my arms so hard I could feel them through the fabric of my jacket. I had to keep my composure around him—I couldn’t get too angry or too upset. I would not show any sort of weakness in front of this man.

“I don’t want you hanging around them. They don’t need any extra distractions, especially from you.”

But before I could turn around and follow Murphy out of the stable, a tight, familiar hand curled itself around my arm. My whole body went limp as Jax stepped closer to me. When I felt his breath fanning the top of my head, my heart felt like it was going to explode from my chest.

“What are these?”

I swallowed hard as he traced a finger along my neck, right over the love bite Levi had given me. I had made sure my collar was up high enough to cover it, but Jax had seen through it almost instantly. Now I was at his mercy, just like I had been all those years ago.

He scoffed, his voice dripping with venom. “I didn’t peg you for a slut, Mia.”

“And I didn’t peg you for someone who hurts girls. But I guess we were both wrong.”

A surge of power flooded my veins as the words left my lips. Did I really just say that in front of him?! It had been so quick, like my mouth was directly connected to my mind—no filter whatsoever, just like I always teased Hanji about. But I didn’t regret them in the slightest.

Jax stiffened behind me, and with another glare, I wrenched my arm out of his grasp. “We’re done here, Jax. Now please, leave me alone.”

As I took a step back, he took two more towards me—and caged me in his arms against the wall. I sucked in a sharp breath as he hovered over me, squeezing my eyes as tight as I could. Already I could feel the corners of my eyes pool with tears.

“So I hurt you, Mia? Is that it?” His voice was so close to my ear—just like Levi’s had been the previous night. The comparison made me want to vomit. “You should be more specific.”

No, don’t give in. He wants you to look weak in front of him. Don’t do it!

His thumb pressed against the side of my neck, rubbing right over the purple mark on the side. “Who is he? Is it that ex-thug that’s always hanging around you? Humanity’s Strongest—isn’t that what they call him?”

Shit, no, he can’t find out about Levi! I don’t want them at each other’s throats!

I blinked the tears out of my eyes. Somehow, the thought of Levi was enough to encourage me to stay calm. Even though he wasn’t here to protect me, I knew I couldn’t give up fighting. I had to save myself this time, no matter how terrifying it sounded.

“Maybe I should have a chat with this ‘Humanity’s Strongest,’” he sneered, tightening his hold on my neck, “since he can’t keep his filthy hands off of what’s mine.”

My whole body was burning with rage at this point. His words were so condescending, so fucking cruel and arrogant. Who did he think he was, implying he had any ownership over me? He had lost any right to call me his own the moment he tried to take what wasn’t his.

Levi was the only one who could say he had any kind of claim on me—and even then, I knew he wouldn’t go as far as Jax had gone that night. I could refuse him over and over again, stating my limits and setting my boundaries, and he would still be by my side. Maybe he was possessive to a certain extent (last night’s behavior surely attested to that), but at least he didn’t view me as a piece of property like Jax did.

“The only one with filthy hands around here is you,” I hissed, wincing as his fingers dug into my neck. I wanted to smirk when I saw his eyes darken with anger, but I didn’t want to put myself in any more danger. I was already walking on thin ice as it was.

He only shook his head, a vicious smile painted on his face. “Since when did you get so sassy? It’s like you can’t hold your tongue sometimes.”

“I’ve always been this way. You were just too fucking ignorant to realize.”

I swallowed tightly as he added more pressure to my neck. If he squeezed any harder, I knew I would pass out. I had to stop him before he got the chance to do that.

“You need to learn how to keep your mouth shut, sweetheart.” My blood boiled at the nickname, my fingers itching to curl around his neck. “Maybe I should teach you a lesson right now, just to set an example for those kids of yours… What are their names again?”

My arms went limp at my sides at the mention of my cadets. He’s not threatening them, is he?

“There’s Murphy Enns and Evan Brose,” he drawled on, completely unaware of the glare forming on my face. “And the teacher’s pet—Reginald Hertz, I think it is. Oh, and then there’s the girl—she reminds me so much of you when you were her age. What’s her name—Gretel Mayer, is it?”

He suddenly shrieked as I grasped his wrist in my palm, twisting it as hard as I could. Without another thought, I brought my knee up and into his groin, sending him into the ground on his knees. Once he was down, I kicked him onto his back and grabbed the knife resting at my belt behind my waist. Before he could blink, I was kneeling down beside him, pressing the blade to his throat.

I was panting heavily, my face flushed and my hands trembling. But I had done it—I had fought back against him and managed to subdue him. I almost felt proud of myself.

But I wasn’t done yet.

“You listen to me, Jackson Meyer.” I kept my voice low, so he was the only one who could hear me—not that there were other people in the stable to begin with. “Stay away from my cadets. Stay away from Hanji and Levi, and stay away from their squads. Don’t talk to them, don’t look at them—don’t even breathe in their direction! And if I see you anywhere near them,” I added, inching my face closer to his, “I won’t hesitate to hurt you. Hell, I may even kill you.”

The ferocity of my own words startled me. Surely I didn’t mean them, right? I was only trying to terrorize him; I knew I wouldn’t kill him if the time came, right?

But my gut told a different story. Deep in my bones, I knew I would do anything in order to protect my friends and my cadets. They were my family at this point, and soldiers did everything in their power to keep their families safe.

Jax seemed to know this, as well. Through his coughs and groans, he managed to smirk at me. “I don’t believe you. You don’t have the stomach.”

I pressed the blade further into his throat, and he winced as little beads of blood began to bubble up from the fresh cut. I wasn’t going to let him get the best of me. Not this time. Not ever again.

“I’ve killed people who have tried to hurt me before. And I can do it again.”

It wasn’t until I saw a genuine flash of fear in his eyes that I stood up and began to walk away. As I left him sputtering on the dusty ground, rubbing at his throat, I allowed myself to smile just a bit, before sliding the blade back into the scabbard behind my waist.

Taglist: @omg-lexiloveyou, @ataraxia101

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #slow burn #levi x oc #levi ackerman #oc x canon #romance #a wolf with wings #mia wolf #wolves of the walls saga #oc story #oc insert #smut #levi x mia smut #levi x mia #volume i #sweets and treats #aot fics

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mostlycompetentwriter · 5 years

Text

I Am You- Chapter 7

Pairing: OC X Bang Chan X Jisung X Changbin

Genre: Romantic Fantasy

Warnings: Smut and Language

Previous Chapters: (chapter 1), (chapter 2), (chapter 3), (chapter 4), (chapter 5), (chapter 6)

1 Year Ago

Changbin might pretend to be indifferent, but it’s only because he had always been taught to act and behave in a certain way. His father was strict, adamant that Changbin disguise those weak emotions with strength and endurance instead. However, try as one might, there was only so much a person could take until they reached their inevitable breaking point.

And Changbin had found his in our betrayal. An attempt to keep him in the shadows, ignorant of pack politics while Jisung and Chan fought for the right to call themselves head alpha. But when Changbin found out, he could no longer hide his anger and disappointment, storming out of the room and leaving behind a string of curses.

And that’s how I found him later, standing at the edge of the clearing while gazing out into the empty woods. Perhaps that’s how Changbin felt inside: empty and alone because his packmates had so clearly disregarded his feelings. My mates thought they were doing the right thing, but seldom is the right decision an easy one to make.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” I said later on while gripping tightly to his arm.

Changbin shook his head, looking off into the horizon. The sun was setting, a faint pinkish glow illuminating the sky. “I get it,” he said. “They didn’t want me as head alpha.”

I trembled. “Changbin,” I started, “don’t think so low of yourself.”

“Am I even worthy of being your mate?” he asked, self-deprecating, ignoring my small gasp as he pulled his arm free from my hold.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Present

“Jisung,” I said firmly, glaring down at the squirming male in question. “You’d better tell me what’s going on.”

Jisung cleared his throat, refusing to look at me. “Chan doesn’t want you involved.”

“Yeah?” I questioned, bending down to grab his chin, forcing our eye contact. “If you expect me to help you with your rut next month, then you’ll tell me everything that’s happened with the rogues.”

Jisung’s accompanying expression was one of absolute betrayal. “You would let me suffer?”

I rolled my eyes. “You have a working hand don’t you?”

Jisung scoffed. “I’m not gonna masturbate through my rut like a teenage boy.”

“And what has Changbin been doing all this time?” I smirked. “He never let me help before and he was perfectly fine.”

“Maybe he’s okay with that,” Jisung shot back. “You shouldn’t use that as blackmail! Chan has his reasons for keeping you in the dark.”

“I’m sure he does,” I argued. “He probably thinks he’s protecting me somehow.” I shook my head because Chan was far too stubborn. “It’s really embarrassing when the other females ask me about the situation, but I have no idea what to tell them.”

“The patrols are handling it.”

“Jisung, you just invited another pack into our territory! It doesn’t exactly scream that we have everything under control, does it?”

Jisung pouted. “Please don’t make me tell you. The three of us haven’t been able to get along lately. If I disobeyed an order from Chan, I’d get dragged into the same mess as Changbin!”

“Fine,” I shrugged. “But I hope you like sleeping alone tonight.”

“Myah,” Jisung whined, even as I was already slamming the door to his bedroom shut behind me.

Chan was clearly busy when I approached him later that day. He was conversing sternly with Taeyong, the NCT pack leader. I decided to hold back, waiting for the two of them to finish their business. I knew I would be much less likely to get information from Chan if I interrupted his talk with Taeyong. You see, Chan was acting much more serious lately, a result of him taking full responsibility as the pack’s head alpha. I was proud of him for holding his responsibilities in such high regard, but I was also a little disappointed with the friction it was causing between his best friends.

Taeyong offered me a delicate bow as he walked by. I waited until he was out of hearing range before confronting Chan. “There you are, Myah,” Chan greeted me, touching his nose to my scent gland before frowning. “You smell like Jisung.”

“I saw him this morning.”

Chan huffed, taking a step back. “The two of you shouldn’t have sex so close to his next rut. It might trigger it early.”

“We weren’t having sex,” I said, annoyed with Chan’s possessiveness. “Am I not allowed to see my mates now without your permission?”

Chan’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Did you come here to fight?”

“Of course not,” I sighed. “But I have a feeling you’re not in the mood to hear me out.”

“It’s my job to listen to you,” Chan said. “What’s on your mind?”

“The rogues.”

Chan shook his head, gazing off somewhere behind me. “You don’t need to worry about the rogues.”

“Channie,” I argued, going right for his weak spot. “Don’t you think I should know? I’m the pack alpha’s mate and I can’t even tell the other members anything!”

“That isn’t your job,” Chan insisted. “They shouldn’t be so nosy. I’ll hold a pack meeting tonight.”

“There’s no need for that,” I countered. “Unless you’re finally gonna tell us what’s really going on with the borders. I bet Taeyong told his pack.”

Chan winced at the remark. “Actually, Taeyong hasn’t said anything. Only Mark understands what’s going on, and that’s because he personally knows the wolves involved.”

“Does he?” I asked, sensing a potential opening. “What did he say?”

But Chan was tight-lipped. “If you see Changbin later, tell him I’ve been looking for him.”

I growled in frustration as Chan walked by, completely ignoring me as he joined Mark and another NCT wolf who had started in our direction. “Asshole,” I told him, making sure to add as much bitterness as one could through a mind-link.

I went in search of Changbin next, inquiring of his whereabouts from a few lingering pack members. My tsundere mate liked to make himself scarce when things were tense around camp. I figured he probably went hunting or something, but there was no way I was following him into the mountains this time.

Surprisingly, Jeongin told me that Changbin had been in his cabin all day. “I tried to talk to him earlier,” the younger member said. “But he wouldn’t listen to me.”

I suppose I wasn’t the only victim to Changbin’s moodiness.

Still, I was expecting more difficulty when I knocked on his cabin door and asked if I could come inside. Changbin was quick to acquiesce, flinging open the door with enough force to knock it against the wall, sending me jumping into the air in response. “What the hell was that for?” I asked while allowing him to drag me inside his cabin.

His unexpectedly gentle kiss was my response, lips sliding across mine smoothly. “I feel like shit,” Changbin said, pulling away to rest his feverish head against mine.

“Binnie,” I soothed, omega instincts kicking in as I led him to his bed. “Are you sick?”

“Just caught something,” Changbin grumbled, refusing to let go of me as he dragged us down on top of the mattress.

“You’re really hot,” I commented, fitting my palm over his forehead. “Are you hurting?”

“It’s not that bad, Angel,” Changbin said, rumbling softly as he ran his nose across my neck. “You smell like Jisung.”

I tried not to roll my eyes. “His rut is close.”

“You’ll smell like me after this,” Changbin declared proudly as if wearing his sickly scent around camp was something to appreciate.

“You reek,” I informed him. “Your scent is stronger than usual.”

Changbin’s breath was warm against my throat. “You’ll stay with me, right angel?”

“Of course,” I agreed, sliding my fingers through his sweat-drenched hair. “I just hope Chan doesn't come looking for us.”

Changbin tensed at the mention of Chan. “Isn’t he too busy kissing Taeyong’s ass?”

“Binnie,” I scolded the younger, frowning at the way he burrowed closer.

“We don’t need them,” Changbin growled, scenting me headily. “We can handle the rogues ourselves.”

“I think Chan wanted to talk to you about the rogues,” I said. “He sure as hell never told me anything,” I added, almost as an afterthought.

“Chan was pissed when he found out that Felix said something about their relationship to NCT,” Changbin admitted. “He doesn’t want anyone else knowing.”

“Why not?” I asked, running my fingertips across Changbin’s puffy cheeks. “Shouldn’t the pack have the right to know?”

“Chan’s orders,” Changbin said, teeth gritted. “He’s pack alpha after all.”

“You voted for him, remember?”

“Only after he tried to keep me out of it,” Changbin replied, wrapping an arm around my waist.

“He thought he was doing the right thing,” I said in response. “Why don’t you take your shirt off? It might help you cool down.”

“Is this your way of getting me naked?” Changbin grinned. “I’ll do it for you, angel.”

“Stop it,” I scolded him, pulling away only to help wrestle the constricting material from his torso. “Have you seen Woojin yet?”

“I’ll see him if I feel worse tomorrow,” Changbin said, biceps flexing enticingly as he stretched his arms above his head.

“He might prevent you from feeling worse,” I said, forcing my eyes away from the unexpectedly attractive sight.

“It’s probably nothing,” Changbin assured me, hands smoothing down his broad chest. “Winter is starting to settle in.”

“An excuse to stay in bed longer,” I said, finding myself leaning into his warmth.

Changbin was quiet for a while, and I figured he had fallen asleep. As a matter of fact, I found myself growing drowsy with the combination of his heat and the comfort of the mattress beneath me. I was moments away from closing my eyes when he spoke up again. “I saw the new pups yesterday,” he said.

It was enough to surprise me into alertness. “Mina’s pups?”

He nodded. “I went with Jisung.”

I grinned. “You should have brought me along. I’ve been looking for a better excuse to see them.”

One of our older pack members had recently given birth to three pups. They were absolutely adorable with their small eyes and cute little button noses. Amelia and I had spent more time there than the kitchens. It was starting to become a problem, especially when Mina’s mate was less than willing to share their cabin with other wolves. But how could anyone resist the heart-wrenching sounds of their precious giggles?

“Do you like pups?” Changbin asked.

“Of course I love pups!” I exclaimed, turning on my side to rest my chin on top of his chest. “Mina’s are so tiny! How can anything be that small?”

Changbin’s eyes met mine and I was taken aback by the raw emotion I saw reflecting back at me. “Maybe you should stop taking your pills.”

I paused, studying him closely. His implication was clear. “Are you serious?”

Changbin nodded. “Maybe on your next heat we can all try.”

His sincerity was unexpected as Changbin was the last mate I thought would inquire about having pups. I knew Jisung adored pups and he was always one of the first to see any new additions to our pack. I usually trailed along after him, adoring the look of glee in his eyes when he held a tiny pup in his strong arms. And as for Chan? Well, my oldest mate liked pups well enough and had considered in passing the idea of having pups of his own one day.

But Changbin?

“Have you talked to the others?” I asked.

“No,” Changbin grunted. “But we haven’t exactly been friendly recently.”

I nodded. “After this mess with the rogues is sorted out, maybe we can all sit down together and talk about it. I don’t want to try when the three of you are fighting.”

Changbin grinned as he practically drug me on top of him. “Okay,” he said, pecking my nose sweetly. “But I get the first knot.”

I groaned at his words, feeling the tight bulge of his cock underneath the thin layer of his worn sweatpants.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The following day, I decided to go hunting with Jisung and Changbin. The elder was feeling better after spending the day isolated away from the pack, and Changbin told me he desperately needed to shift again. Meanwhile, Jisung was feeling just as adventurous, hearing of our plans and demanding to come along. Changbin protested at first, but eventually gave in when I sternly reminded him how important it was for us to all get along. Changbin must have remembered my words from yesterday, immediately complying with Jisung’s wishes.

The three of our wolves padded together along the used trails in the woods, keeping close to camp. It was still potentially dangerous to go out past the edges of the territory when rogues were threatening our pack. However, I knew Changbin would be the last person to refuse his wolf’s obvious attachment to the woods, and Changbin was never intimidated by threats.

And I also longed to stretch my legs and have a nice run through the woods.

Nevertheless, my senses were on high alert as I walked between my two mates. My wolf was minuscule in comparison to Jisung and Changbin, but it was reassuring to know my mates were so much stronger. They would always protect me if danger happened to arise.

Changbin let out a bark as he picked up on a stray scent, nose high in the air as he caught the trail. “This way,” he directed, leading the three of us into a nearby thicket of bushes.

I kept my body close to the ground, hindquarters raised, as I waited for Changbin’s next command. “Why is your ass sticking up,” Jisung teased, nipping at my ear playfully.

“This is the hunter’s stance,” I quipped, ears pricked forward as a faint rustle echoed throughout the surrounding foliage.

“Leave the hunting to the professionals, princess,” Jisung said, stopping to shoulder himself next to Changbin. “What is it?”

“Deer,” Changbin said, tasting the air carefully. “A small doe, maybe.”

Jisung dugs his claws into the forest floor as if anticipating the impending hunt. “Should we take it, Changbin?”

“I could wrestle it down without you,” Changbin grumbled.

Jisung’s wolf huffed as if offended. “I’d overpower it easily!”

“Go ahead,” Changbin challenged, suddenly sitting back on his haunches. “If you’re so skilled at hunting bigger prey.”

Jisung hesitated, but he was far too proud to let Changbin bruise his ego. I watched Jisung crouch down, stealthily moving through the underbrush as he slowly approached the doe who was barely visible through the branches of the trees crowding the area surrounding us. I withheld my laughter as I sat down next to Changbin, allowing him to nuzzle into the side of my neck affectionately. “He’s not low enough,” he told me. “The deer will hear him before he’s ready.”

I watched with interest, silently rooting for Jisung to prove Changbin wrong as he edged closer. Unfortunately, Changbin was rarely wrong in such instances, and I winced when Jisung’s front paw broke a stick beneath his path. Immediately, the deer’s head shot up into the air, eyes blown wide as it studied the nearby vicinity. Jisung panicked, launching himself into a premature attack, barely glancing the deer with his claws before the now spooked creature took off. Jisung was quick to recover his footing, but still not fast enough to track down an animal relying on adrenaline racing through familiar territory.

“Shit!” Jisung cursed as he finally slowed down, watching the deer race away through the woods.

“Nice job,” Changbin snarked, ignoring Jisung as he turned around to look for a new trail to follow.

Jisung held his head down as he passed me.

“There’s another scent up ahead,” Changbin said, suddenly shifting back to his human form.

I shifted behind him, confused as to why he had suddenly switched. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he said, beckoning me forward.

I stood next to him, gazing down into the ravine. “It’s beautiful.”

“I’ve seen better,” Changbin grinned, and I rolled my eyes at his cheesy flirtation.

“I almost had that deer!” Jisung abruptly growled, shoving his way between us, arms crossed over his chest.

“Your stance is lacking,” Changbin said, chuckling when Jisung shoved him harshly. “You need more hunting experience.”

“I have more important things to do,” Jisung defended himself, looking in my direction with pitiful eyes. “I’ve been busy with pack stuff.”

“Poor baby,” I cooed. “Maybe you just needed a practice run. You can always try again.”

“I picked up a faint scent on the trail we came up,” Changbin said, nodding to his right. “It might be a smaller doe.”

Jisung followed Changbin and I lingered behind, taking a few more moments to admire the simplistic beauty of our mountain home. “I smell it!” Jisung declared, shifting back to his dusky brown wolf as his nose sniffed across the dirt floor.

“See if you can track it,” Changbin suggested and Jisung needed no further encouragement, determined to make up for his previous blunder.

I could hear him take off down the trail, feet thundering against the forest floor, purpose driving his steps. In the meantime, I could feel Changbin’s familiar presence as he approached from behind, nose touching the back of my neck while his strong arms wrapped around my middle.

“I really want to fuck you,” Changbin smirked, tucking my hair behind my ear. I studied the trail where Jisung had disappeared into the ravine.

“Is this really an appropriate time?” I asked as he turned me around.

“He’s gone,” Changbin grinned. “And what else are we gonna do?”

“Hunt.”

“I can catch us enough prey,” Changbin bragged, leaning in closer, thumbing at the neckline of my shirt. “Your tits look good in this.”

“What a compliment.”

“Myah,” Changbin pouted, slowly forcing me backward. I allowed him to do so until my back met the rough bark of a nearby tree. “We haven’t had sex in a while.”

“If you were more patient,” I started, brushing my fingers against his gorgeous lips. “We could have sex tonight when we get back to camp.”

“Are you worried about Jisung?” Changbin asked, raising one brow in question.

“You aren’t?” I countered because the idea of Jisung stumbling upon Changbin fucking me against a tree was not exactly sexy.

“He’s not gonna know,” Changbin purred in my ear, reaching for the hem of my skirt. “I sent him after a stale scent. He’ll be searching for a while.”

“Was this your plan all along?” I indulged, allowing him to run his fingers up my bare thigh.

“No,” Changbin shrugged, fingers digging into my flesh. “But you smell really good today.”

“Do I normally smell bad?” I joked, wrapping my hands around his impressive biceps.

He flexed them on purpose. “I love your scent.”

I rolled my eyes playfully. “Changbin, don’t you think this is reckless?”

“I won’t let anything bad happen to you, angel,” he promised, looking for the right words to try and convince me to give in to his demands.

I was close to arguing again before he suddenly lifted me up, forcing my legs to wrap around his waist as he brought our bodies close together. He was unbelievably hard, cock straining against the material of his shorts. “Have you wanted this for a while?” I asked breathily because he was scenting me with purpose, determined to wipe all logical thoughts from my mind.

I barely noticed when his hands managed to push my skirt up to my legs, thumbs rubbing circles into my hip bones.

“I think my wolf was jealous of Jisung,” Changbin admitted, mouthing at the exposed expanse of my chest. “He wants our scent on you.”

“And what better way,” I grinned, curling my fingers through his thick hair.

“You know I like it, angel,” he continued, hips pushing forward into mine.

“We need to be fast,” I gasped, feeling the burning friction of his fingers as he moved my panties out of the way.

“Take me out,” he growled, eyes trained down as I worked his shorts and underwear down his legs, leaving his cock erect as he worked to support his hands under my thighs.

“Put it in,” I found myself begging, feeling his cock, warm and thick, as he moved us into the perfect position, tip threatening entrance.

And Changbin never needed me to beg for his cock, all too willing to give me whatever I wanted when it meant nothing but pleasure. Which is why I found myself moaning the moment he pushed his way inside, filling me with him slowly, a leisurely pace as if testing my patience. But I eventually learned patience throughout the years of satisfying my mates, so I simply waited until he was all the way inside, pressing against my clit with a wonderful pressure.

And with my skirt bundled up at my waist, legs wrapped around Changbin’s waist, feeling his powerful hands support my thighs with a bruising grip, I gave in to his wishes. It was all too easy to fall victim to his dark energy, and I choked on a sob as his cock moved in and out. He started a powerful rhythm that made it difficult to do anything more than toss my head back against the trunk of the tree, accepting whatever he decided to give me, which was always everything he had coiled tightly in the thick muscles that filled out his body.

“It’s good,” I made sure to tell him, praising him because I knew it would only get better the more I fed his ego, his desire to show off his strength for his mate.

But Changbin still had more demands.

“Show them to me,” Changbin begged, eyes glued to my chest.

I tried to ignore him, scenting across his throat, teeth scraping along his skin. His dark, spicy smell was driving my omega crazy, and my wolf howled at me to bite him again. It was difficult to resist, so I gave in, gently digging my teeth against the taut flesh of his shoulder blade. “Angel,” Changbin grunted, cock stuttering inside. “Are you listening to me?”

I whined when he slowed down, dragging out with a pace that was not nearly as satisfying. “Don’t stop,” I begged him, trying to force him back inside, pushing down against his grip on my legs.

He shifted me down, one of my feet touching the ground as his other hand continued to support most of my weight. I focused on taking in more oxygen as he tugged down my top, forcing my breasts to spill out. “That’s fucking hot,” he cursed, lifting me back up before forcing me down onto his thick cock.

“Come inside,” I begged him, rapidly approaching my release, feeling it build deep inside.

“Are you worried Jisung might see?” Changbin teased, sweat glistening beautifully across his dark skin.

“I-I’m not,” I managed, eyes closed tightly together as my hands ran across the broad expanse of his chest, feeling his muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt, straining with his efforts.

“He’d come in his pants like a little bitch,” Changbin snarled, mouth moving harshly across my breasts, tongue frequently taking the liberty to tease my sensitive nipples.

I could feel his knot growing, threatening to lock us together. It was enough to finally break me out of my pheromone-induced haze. “Changbin,” I said, “you can’t knot me out here.”

Changbin groaned, nipping at his mating mark on my neck. “Can I come inside your mouth?”

“Absolutely,” I agreed breathily, unable to stop from moaning when my orgasm suddenly hit courtesy of a well-timed thrust from Changbin, knot catching slightly on my entrance.

He growled, pulling out completely before helping me settle onto my knees in front of him. “Fuck, I like you this way, angel,” he whispered, hands wrapping into my hair.

I didn’t answer, opening my mouth to allow him access. His cock sat heavy on my tongue and I hollowed my cheeks, lips stretching to accommodate him, pausing at the swell of his arousal. It didn’t take long for Changbin to finally cum, releasing down my throat, bitter but satisfying. He finally pulled out slowly, flaccid length falling from my reddened lips.

We were both trying to catch our breath as we adjusted our clothes, trying to hide the evidence of our coupling. Unfortunately, when Changbin leaned in closer to kiss me, I could easily smell our sex permeating his scent. Jisung might not have Changbin’s superior sense of smell, but even a human could catch on to what we had been doing.

“We might be in trouble,” Changbin said, grinning against my wet skin.

After a while, I could hear the faint sound of Jisung’s paws against the underbrush. “He’s gonna smell us.”

“He’ll get you all to himself in a few weeks,” Changbin said, pressing one more lingering kiss to his mating mark.

I laughed when Jisung came into view, shifting into his human form. “He’s gonna be pissed.”

“I don’t care,” Changbin declared, holding me tightly against him, as if afraid to let go.

I merely laughed when Jisung immediately scrunched his nose as he came closer, the heavy smell of our sex assaulting the air surrounding us.

199 notes · View notes

kileyrose-2003 · 5 years

Text

Dan Torrance x Fem! Reader Part 3

A/N: Hi lovelies! Here comes another one of my extremely angsty psychological dive into Rose and Crow’s relationship. Lol. Very, very emotional write for me. Some of you might be wondering after you read this on just how exactly and I will simply say one thing: The relationship between Rose and Crow is very explicitly written and there while as in the film it is implied. In this AU I wanted there to be a reason why Rose and Crow seem more distant, hence why I am taking my own spin to them like this.

Anyways, I love you guys! I know there are a lot of people on Tumblr right now as well as myself dealing with the affects of COVID-19 in our every day lives. If you ever need anyone to talk to, my DM’s are always open. I might not be a therapist but I am willing to help :) I hope you all have a wonderful day and stay safe, lovelies!

Link to intro is here , pt. 1, and Pt. 2

Enjoy!

Warnings: Trigger warning for mentioned/implied child abuse, child death, baseball boy scene, blood, gore

“..Don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me and especially don’t fucking touch me.”

“Crow-”

“No, Rosie! This is your fault. Not her fault, it’s yours. You hurt her! You hurt our baby!” In a rare display of emotion, hot tears were streaming down Crow’s face.

Rose chose her words very carefully before speaking. “..She is not our baby. We did not birth her into this world. She never belonged to us in the first place. And, no. I don’t hate her. I am not jealous of her either and I am not entirely to blame for all this. While maybe your way of thinking on this not being her fault may be correct, you are part of the reason to blame.” Her tone was calm and diligent like a mother trying to keep a tantrum prone toddler calm. “I told you from the start, that I didn’t think it was a good idea for her to be here. In general, our way of life is not fit for any child.”

“I-”

“Don’t talk! Just listen. You however insisted at keeping her here when I told you it wasn’t fair to her to live like this. Once she seen what we did, I did not want her to live like this. Had we of just-”

“Rose, I wasn’t just going to send her back to where she came from! Because-”

“Because you grew attached to her! When I told you not to get to fond of her too quick because it was supposed to be a trial thing. We don’t give affection to rubes, Crow. It’s a rule of thumb. That’s what we gave to her though. Not just you, but me too and I will admit with that I was wrong but yet you fail to recognize the reason I brought her into this in the first place was to make you happy and whether you think it’s right or wrong to do what I did to make you happy: I don’t care. To knock some sense into her was the only option. That was the only way she was going along with the whole thing though. So I did what I had to do, even if I didn’t like it. None of that would of happened though had you just let her go.”

Crow sat there on the ground, staring at the falling leaves around him while he processed every word that Rose said to him. “Comments?”

He had none. Yet. His head felt like a over boiling tea pot waiting to just spill over and burn the person closest to him. In that case, Rose. It wouldn’t be the first time he killed one of his lovers. His rage was infrequent but when it came out, it was a force to be reckon with like a blazing fire. It was what he related to most. It was the only thing that had passion that burned and grew as quick as he did until he met Rose. Rose burned as bright, if not brighter than he did. Crow wanted to kill Rose right then and there and she felt it. They all felt it.

Rose was quick to step away despite of her certainty he wouldn’t kill her. Yet something gave her the maybe, just maybe, he would one day. She’d make sure to keep that under control though and keep her dragon tamed.

Just like it wouldn’t be the first he killed a love, it wasn’t the first time he was a father either. Though that time was as far from him as the setting sun was near his finger tips, the memories though old and a little wishy washy, were engraved into his mind. The smell of smallpoxs immediately entering his nostrils at the thought of it. Just like he hadn’t forgotten the name and face of his own child, he was sure he wasn’t going to forget yours either. Or the way it made him the feel the last time he got to speak to you.

You felt stuck and he was stuck too. Except unlike the first child he lost, you didn’t feel scared to leave him. You felt almost relieved. Like you could breath now while the other felt like they were drowning in fear and pain. It was in that moment he realized you were scared of him. You were afraid he’d hurt you at one point

‘No, I wouldn’t hurt her,’ He told himself over and over. He would of never intentionally tried to make you scared of him or put you in a position where you felt uncomfortable. You adored him and he loved you just as much, if not more, than you loved him. You were his baby, even if it meant he had to kill to have you.

Finally he had his comment and the words came out full of fury and rage. “..Bullshit. You all fucking lie!”

…

He wouldn’t touch Rose for months let alone look at her until she forced him too and even then, that was a battle. He wasn’t the same after that. He became more cynical, more distant. Almost an empty shell of the person he was.

Any out spoken nature he had and was replaced by soft spoken snarkiness. There was no more The Irish Rose and her Crow. Only the remnants of a broken past and flings that occurred in the event of their primal feedings. Nothing more and nothing less.

While the stars shined down on you and Danny brightly as you were yet again acting out your passions in the privacy of your own home, Crow Daddy stood in the darkness of the abandoned ethanol plant in Bankerton, Iowa as he sharpened the blade of his knife. The only lights shining on him were the glares of The True Knot’s RV’S nearly blinding him.

He felt soft hands rub up and down the bare skin of his upper arm and a head press against his shoulder. Rose. “I’m excited. It’s been months since we’ve done our thing, you know?” She nipped the cartilage on his ear and fought the urge to push her away. “Sure,” He grunted.

Rose furrowed her brows. “Aren’t we testy tonight?” Crow fought the urge to laugh in her face. “When am I not lately?” She bit her lips. “You’re really going to do this. Right now?”

“It’s not like what’s been between us is exactly a secret to anyone in the family, Rosie.” She pulled away from him slightly repulsed and stretched her arms. “I’m ready.” The reply was snappy and quick and Barry was quick to obey.

'The boy is going to be the one to suffer for that reply but who am I care?’ Crow thought to himself as he looked at the bite mark the Baseball Boy left on his hand. 'The little bastard deserves it.’

“No! No! Please don’t! No..” The first couple of times he had to bare witness and participate in the unholy act after you left, he could hardly take. There was a slight lapse of faith and for a while he thought maybe he just didn’t deserve to have children. Now was different though. He felt numb.

After being in constant agony for over 20 years his sympathy began to decrease and soon he felt nothing for anyone. As Rose knelt down to Bradley Trevor’s level he took his position behind her, standing tall. To child on the ground, he was terrifying but the rest thought nothing of him.

Rose gestured for the knife and he handed it over immediately. “A-are you going to hurt me?” The reply was husky and menacing. “Yes.”

There were screams of protest but Crow took no mind to them. “Pain purifies steam. Fear too. So now you understand.” The Baseball Boy let out a scream of protest before Rose stabbed deeply into him.

…

Meanwhile as you laid in bed next to Danny who was in a dead coma, you felt someone poking at your mind. “Danny, stop it.” You elbowed him. He grunted and slapped your ass cheek. “W-wha?”

“You’re poking in my head again. Stop it.” He rolled over onto his side and shoved his face into the pillow. “I’m trying to sleep.” You rolled your eyes and as you went to wrap your arms around him, you felt the poke again. Accept this time it hurt. Like an electric shock.

(Hello?! Hello! Please tell me you can hear me.)

You paused before responding.

(I can hear you.)

(Good! They’re hurting him and they won’t stop.)

(Who is they?)

The response terrified you.

(The woman in the hat.)

All the sudden you felt nauseous and you gripped at bed sheets. You knew what was going to happen and you were terrified. The room began to slant on an angle and you gripped onto the head board tightly.

“Babe! What are you doing?” Dan sat up in bed and his face went flat at seeing the expression on your face. “Honey?”

You tried to respond to him physically but couldn’t so instead you turned to the person in your head.

(You’re mine and my husband’s pen pal, aren’t you?)

(Yeah.)

(Are you comfortable with telling me your name?)

(Yeah, it’s Abra.)

(Well Abra, can I ask you to do me a favor?)

The room began to tilt on an angle and you felt your grip on the head board becoming lose.

(Anything.)

(If I get stuck in here, tell Dan I love him.)

Your fingers lost their hold on the frame and you began to spiral down into a dark hole. 'This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.’ You prayed, silently hoping Abra was wrong but something told you she wasn’t. The dark hole began to reach it’s end and you had enough time to see trees and a sign that read 'NO TRESPASSING: BANKERTON ETHANOL PLANT’ When you felt the spiraling of your body stop.

Your astral body hit the ground hard and you had to spit the dirt out of your mouth. “Ugh, gross.” You attempted to reach forward to try and find something to grip onto that way you could stand up but your hand connected with human skin.

“Oh shit!” You scrambled back at the sight of Barry and you felt your body beginning to levitate upwards. “No! No! Please, please! I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to see it!” Your body wouldn’t move though. You had to look. Unless you were going to get stuck here and hesitantly you opened your eyes. “Oh my god! Stop! Stop! Please stop!”

Your body began to lower and suddenly you felt eyes on you. One of them heard you. “No! No! No! No!” A hand ran itself through your long locks and you trembled.

“What is it?” You knew that voice and you didn’t have to open your eyes to know who was infront of you.

(Look at me.)

You shook your head but felt fingers lifting your head up to force you to look at them and slowly you opened them to see Rose. Her hands covered in blood and her eyes full of steamy lust.

(Well, hi there sweetie!)

Panic began to rise inside you and you reached out to Abra.

(Ru-)

Before you could even finish your thought, Rose plunged the knife back into the Baseball Boy and you let out a scream. “Holy shit! Holy shit!” You screeched feeling his pain.

(Funny how things come around isn’t it, Y/n?)

“Stop! Stop! Rose, please stop! Just stop!” Just as Danny was about to lay back down he jumped up in bed and gently shook your shoulders. “Y/n?! Baby? What’s wrong.”

(You got a friend there, Y/n? I want to see him.)

As Dan leaned over to caress your cheek, you pushed him back. “Y/n!” You could feel the rise Rose was getting out of your pain and it made you mad. You wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of getting kicks off your pain. “Get away from me, Danny! Get away!”

Instead of now just seeing Rose in your eyeshot all of them were in eyeshot with those haunting blue eyes staring at you and you slammed your head against the back of the bed. “Make it stop, Danny! Make it stop!”

This time when you tried to push him away, he held your arms down against your chest that way he could try to wake you up. “She’s going to see you Danny!”

(Yes, Danny. I am going to see you. That your little friend you made down in Florida?)

“Shut up!” You screamed. “Who’s going to see me?!”

“No!”

“God damn it, Y/n! Who do you see?”

BAM!

The room shook and Danny landed backwards onto the hardwood floor. Now he was pissed, not at you but whoever it was he couldn’t see. He grabbed your wrist to stop you from pushing him away. “Leave her alone!”

As Dan continued to shake your body and beg for you to wake up, the astral world around you began to slide. This time you were hanging upside down as you fell and as you did, yours and Crow Daddy’s eyes unintentionally interlocked though he would be aware enough to know it.

As you slammed back into your physical body, you rolled off the bed and hit your head on the dresser. “Oww!” You screeched and started sobbing. Dan tried to pull you into a hug but you kicked at him. “No! No!”

“Y/n-” You let out a scream. “Just leave me alone!” Danny backed away and you let out a sob. “What happened?” He asked gently as he scooped you up into his arms like you were a child. Normally you would protest said act but for right now, you didn’t care. You needed the comfort and that’s how he was giving it.

“They killed him..” You sobbed and you felt Danny let out a sigh as he ran his fingers through your hair. “They killed who?”

“That poor little boy!” You let out a screaming cry and buried your head in his shoulder. “Okay..okay.” You choked on your own sobs and nuzzled closely to him. “It’s alright.”

…

Meanwhile thousands of miles away, the lights of RV’s shined brightly in the darkness of the Iowa night on Crow and Rose as they buried the baseball boy.

As Rose finished throwing her scoop of dirt over Bradley Trevor’s glove she paused for a moment and looked at the ground. “We had a looker.” Crow stopped what he was doing and for the first time in years she actually seen a glint of what she would like to think was excitement in his dark eyes. “Tonight?”

“Yeah.” Rose dropped the shovel on the ground and Crow did the same. “East Coast, I think.” He furrowed his brows. “You’re saying someone looked in from I’ve 10,000 miles away?”

“Could of been farther. Could of been up in Canada, but it gets better. She wasn’t alone either.” Rose smirked slightly. “Y/n was with her.”

They say a picture is worth 1000 words but in that moment Crow Daddy’s face had an expression of infinite emotions. He tried tracking you down a few times after you ran but he honestly wondered what good it would do. He didn’t have to be in your mind to you were petrified of Rose and he figured you probably would want nothing to do with him. His mouth went dry and he felt like he wanted to throw up. “What?”

“Oh yeah and she wasn’t happy to see me either. The second she seen me stab into the kid she was out of there so fast and back to her man friend.”

“Man friend?” He looked boggled. “Oh yeah. Danny is his name. She wouldn’t let me get a look at him though..or the looker but I swear Crow Daddy, I haven’t felt power. Raw power like that off the looker than I’ve felt in so long..”

“Then do you think we should look into it? The sooner the better. Before her parents send her to a psychiatrist. Put her on pills. Muffle the steam and make her harder to find.”

“No, giving paxil to this kid is like putting a piece of saran wrap over a search light. And when either of them come back and trust me, I’ll know they’ll be back, I’ll be ready. Oh I’ll be ready..”

Crow dreaded the prospect though. He didn’t want to see you older. A little bit younger than him. It served as a reminder that time went comes and goes fast and there was no buying more of it. For the rubes at least.

“Besides,” Rose straightened her posture as if she was reflecting back on another thought. “What is tied can never be untied.” As Crow raised an eyebrow Rose met the look with a smirk.

…

Your hands shook as Danny handed you a cup of tea. “There we go.” He wrapped you up with a blanket from behind and hummed appreciatively “Thank you.” He nodded and there was an awkward moment of silence as he stared at the REDRUM on the wall in the next room. “So you going to tell me now or never?”

"Danny,“ You begged and he shushed you. "Just listen to me. I think it would help if you told me about it though.”

“There’s a reason why I don’t talk about my childhood, Dan.” He squeezed your hand. “I know.” You kissed the tops of his knuckles. “It’s painful.” Your voice started to crack.

“If you’re afraid of me thinking differently of you, I would never. I love you for you. Whatever they did, it’s not on you. Please baby, I know it’s hurting you. Just let me in.”

You sighed and looked down at your kitchen counter. “You remember when you met me all those years ago in Florida?” He nodded and rubbed the tops of your hands. “I was only there for a brief amount of time. I moved around alot as a kid. For a while I never really understood why.”

“You mentioned your family was pretty nomadic but what does this have to do with anything?” Dan asked softly and continued to caress your skin. “The people who raised me, they were special like us. They shined maybe as much, if not more than we did. There are things out there, dark things, that hurt people like us.” Tears started to well up in your eyes. “Y/n-”

“They make people like us never be seen again and they warned me about the dark things and told me to stay away from them but I didn’t know I really didn’t have to worry about them at the time.”

Dan wiped one of your tears away, trying to ignore the hairs sticking straight up on his arms. “Why?” Your teary eyes interlocked with his. “Because I was living with the dark things that hurt people like us.” His posture stiffened and he slowly let go of your face. “What?” You ignored his question, continuing to ramble on.

“They always looked the same. It was the strangest thing. My grandpa went from having a limp in his leg to walking without a cane over night and sometimes when they were near me, my one uncle always looked at me like he was hungry. I was nine and we were staying long term in Georgia for the winter because I was sick. It made my mom a nervous wreck, so she’d stay with me every night while I slept and the one night I woke up over night and she wasn’t there so I panicked and I just remember hearing these screams. They were awful. Like these husky barks and even though I was supposed to be in bed I got up to look for my mom and when I got up she was on top of this little boy and she was-” You choked up a little bit. “She was gutting into him like he was a fish and they were eating him.”

“Like Hannibal Lecter eating him or-” You shook your head. “His shine. They were drinking his screams and pain too.” Dan looked so upset. “Honey.” Your body wracked itself with sobs. “And I’ll never forget the look on his face! Like he was being violated.”

“W-what did they do when they seen you were there?” You tried to wipe some tears away but they just kept pouring rapidly. “Most of them didn’t care or notice at first. My dad on the other hand looked so mortified. I can’t remember if it was him or my mom that picked me up and kept telling me over and over again it was out of survival and that I wasn’t supposed to see it. That it was all for the better. That way they could live longer and be healthier and that they wouldn’t hurt me. They could never hurt me like that.”

“Please don’t tell me you believed them.” His tone almost sounded judgemental and you became defensive. “Dan! What was I supposed to do? They were my family and it’s not like I had any where to go to. Despite what they did, I still loved him even though part of me was scared of them.”

“Sorry! Sorry! I’m just trying to wrap my head around all this.” He kissed the top of your head and you had to supress the urge to just shove him away. “Could you live like that? Live a lie?”

“I kept my mouth shut, Danny and if you were in my shoes you would of done the same. For about 7 years we went on like that until my dad left for business for about a week and I finally couldn’t take it anymore and then truth came out about everything.”

You let out a screaming sob as Rose threw plates around you. “..They would of never of been able to provide for you the way your father and I did! Those rubes pigs were selfish and given the chance, they would of used you and abused you even more than they already did.”

You shook your head feverishly, trying to block out Rose’s word. “You were so desperate to have someone love you, that I barely even had to wipe your mind. You were so touch starved that we practically did nothing but hold you the first couple of weeks you were here. We loved you when no one else did! Not even your fucking mother.”

You choked on your own sobs and slumped down to the ground, not caring if the broken glass on the ground cut into your fragile skin. Rose knelt down to your level and began to pull some of the shards. “But don’t worry though, honey. Daddy fixed that issue.”

You felt your blood run cold and you tensed. “W-what do you mean?” Part of you knew the answer to that question though and you dreaded hearing it come out of her mouth. Rose reached up into a nearby drawer and pulled out an old Polaroid photograph. “Does that answer your question?”

“OH GOD!” You screamed and broke back into hysterics. “He never did it to hurt you. You wanted her dead. Trust me. It was all out of love, my sweet. Every single piece of it was out of love.”

"T-that’s not love!” You stuttered. “No?” Rose’s tone was cynical. “No!..”

“Y/n-”

“14 years, Danny. 14 fucking years, I let them scare me into thinking all people were bad besides them and I thought they were my family the whole time yet it was all just a lie!” Dan wrapped his arms around your waist and planted a kiss on your cheek, trying to process it all. Your water works started up all over again and Danny sighed. “Y/n..Y/n, it’s not your fault.”

“It is Danny! It fucking is! And then she started hitting because she knew I despised her for the truth and it hurt so bad because we went from being so close to so far apart.”

“Baby-”

“My trust with the rest of them too was so torn because they all knew what she was doing and they hid. Over two years I had to lie my dad because I didn’t want to make him upset because he was the only one of them that I trusted and then I let him kill my mother..”

“You were a child, honey. You couldn’t of known. It’s not your fault and that’s all over now. I’m here.” He rocked you back and forth as you cried into him. “And the worse part is that even after everything they’ve done to me, part of me still loves and misses them sometimes.”

Dan’s mind drifted back to his own father and he tensed, understand what it was like to still love the abuser even though they caused more damage than could be repaired. “I know, baby..I know. It’s a fucked up cycle.” You nuzzled close to him.

“Don’t leave me, Danny!” You begged. “I won’t..it’s okay.” As you wept into him, Danny looked off to the side room that had the ominous REDRUM scrawled on the walls and hugged you tight.

“We need to keep that little girl away from them Dan. They’ll hurt her.” He pulled away from you. “We? No! No there is no we in this. If anything, we should stay out of this.”

“Dan! You’re being selfish. We can’t just abandon this little girl.” He shook his head. “It’s not abandoning her if I tell her to keep her head down.”

“That’s the exact opposite of what we should do!” Dan huffed and you placed a kiss against his cheek, cradling his face in your hands. “Look, just listen with an open mind. Okay?”

He nodded and your eyes interlocked with his baby blue ones. “I know they work, Danny. That’s why they took me. To use my shine to find people. They’ll prey on people who put their heads down because it’s easier for them to seem like the good guys. It’ll make her more of a sitting duck. To make her hide this, all of this, it’ll just kill her self esteem and her herself. You have to encourage her.”

“Why me?”

“Because besides me, you’re probably the only person that hears her Dan. Who understands her. She knows you more than me because she turned to you first. You’re the only one who probably interacts with her the way people like us can.” You held his hands in yours. “Do you remember how lonely you felt being younger? We can’t let that happen to her.”

“And I can’t let you get hurt either. If these people, whatever the hell they’re called can find that little girl-”

“Abra. Her name is Abra,” You corrected but Dan only rolled his eyes. “-They probably can find you and I just-”

Dan visibly shivered. “I don’t want to even picture in my mind what things they’d do to you or what would happen you if they found you.” He cupped your face and took in all your features. “I-i’d never be able to live with myself, knowing I could of prevented it. I can’t- I won’t let them hurt you. They’ve done enough damage.”

“So that’s it? We’re just abandoning her?” Dan rubbed his face. “I wouldn’t call it that just..cutting ties for a while.” You pushed away from him and rolled your eyes. “Y/n, I’m sorry but I don’t want you getting killed!”

“Just don’t talk to me right now, Danny. I want to be alone.” You went back to yours and Danny’s bedroom and locked the door before he could get it. “Y/n..come on baby.”

“I told you I want to be alone.” You sat down with your back against the door and Danny did the same from the other side. “Okay..Honey?”

“Yes, Dan?” He laid his hand against the woods barrier between the both of you. “I love you.” Despite how mad you were, you smiled slightly and did the same. “I love you too..now go. Please.”

Dan did as you asked and as he made his walk to the guest room in the second floor of your house, he stopped at the spare room. Staring at the REDRUM on the wall before picking up a piece of chalk and scrawling a quick message. 'Abra: I hope you’re okay and you have a better day tomorrow. Your friends, Dan and Y/n.’

#doctor sleep #dr sleep #imagine #imagines #fanfiction #crow daddy #abra stone #rose the hat #Danny Torrance #dan torrance #x fem reader #x female reader #stephen king #The Shining #the true knot

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jojoreadwhat · 4 years

Text

don’t be fooled, the first two hours ruled / honey & smoke - m.h. x OFC story

Lucy's POV.

I woke to the sounds of my alarm bombarding my dreams like if it were a wrecking ball.

The sun drowning out the room, piercing my eyes with its welcome. Fluttering my eyes open, the feeling uneasy to adjust to, forcibly making them acquainted.

Today was the big day, the first time ever stepping into a new form of education. Was I ready? Of course not, who was?

I sat up in disapproval, stretching out my legs till they reached the mat and placing weight into them like a box full of twenty hand me down paperbacks. Retreating to my mirror, noticing the slight bags forming from the lack of sleep of the night before. That were only bound to get darker further into the semester. Like how time changes make the sun go down sooner and the night have the closing act.

My mind was racing last night, mixed with anxiety approaching today, and the ricochet of events that had went down at the party. But most of all, he kept making a visit.

I really had no explanation on why he kept entering my mind like an old friend. Yeah he was quite the looker and all, but what boggled me the most was how he lingered around me before I left. The boy could have anyone and every girl in the party proved me right. He latched onto me, like a koala to a tree.

Maybe it was all because of the pool incident he felt like he had to hang around. Make sure I didn't chill at the bottom of the pool the next time. But then again, he started the questions. Questions that needed long answers, answers he seemed to enjoy.

I chucked to myself, over believing that he had interests in a person like me. It was all out of guilt, and it was just a joke to keep thinking otherwise.

I retreated to my closet, pondering on what I could possibly put together today.

Leggings and a oversized shirt? No, too cozy. I'll fall asleep before the second lecture.

A band tee and some boyfriend jeans? Too familiar.

I moved the next few shirts till it came into sight. A black and white floral skater dress. Something new and different like the day I was prepared for.

Pairing with a beat up jean jacket from my dads hippy days, and tights. I laced up my combats and sat at the edge of my bed.

Flinging my bag over my shoulder, grabbing my laptop off my desk. I checked my phone noticing that I had an hour before my first lecture to grab a coffee. Slipping my headphones, playing my teenage angst soundtrack before slipping out the door.

----------------------------------------------

Matty's POV.

The sun rays beaming through the blinds aligned her hair like highlights. Her brown long hair hanging over her bare shoulder as my hangover made friends with the devil in my head. I lied within the common white sheets of the common white room, my room as she walked around familiarizing it as she looked for the clothes I misplaced of hers.

I couldn't recall her name, possibly Marie rang a bell. But she had a pretty face, model like with beautifully structure cheek bones and rosy lips I had swollen the night before.

She was a bit taller than me in the heels she was in, the ones she had found moments ago. The black strappy ones that I unbuckled and threw behind me in the moment. The events reconfiguring themselves into a picture of the night before.

The brunette retreated to the end of my bed, one leg over the other as she placed her shoes back on. Her dangling hair danced across her back tattoo of a butterfly with vibrant purples and blues cascading inside it's black outline. Trying to figure out if I had seen it before or was it my lips jogging my hazy memory from when I traced it with them.

Everything was a blur, something that always came naturally from when I lost myself the night before. But there was one thing that stuck out like a sore thumb.

The brunette's dark green eyes met my brown ones, they weren't the crystal blues that almost led me through a whole other world, totally perplex than the one I led on my own. There was a road that was never founded in mine.

The woman's lips curled into a devious smile. "Last night was fun" she stated as she slipped her white and gold shirt back on.

I could say the same, but not with her.

I was intrigued by the clumsy American I helped out the pool. I was intrigued by the fact she wanted to tell how much she enjoyed Steinbeck instead of letting me kiss her neck. How her favorite song by The Cure was Just Like Heaven instead of showing her what heaven really felt like.

It was a conversation unexpected, too new and not like the ones that barely had another and I speaking at all.

With a headache as an accessory to my outfit. I leaned against the kitchen counter sipping my Black tea after walking Mary out, admiring the sun waltz across the white cabinets.

My thumper of a roommate, George came hopping down the wooden stairs. Ending in a goodbye and a door closing before he had made it into the kitchen we shared.

"Mornin'" he greeted, pouring himself a glass of the tea and taking a seat at the table.

"Sounded like you had a good night." He spoke with a cheeky smile plastered to his face before he took a sip of his tea. Commenting on the soundtrack I was supplying with his room next to mine.

George has been my best friend since what's felt like since birth. When the good boy gone bad had taken over my nerdy boyish ways. He was in the bathroom when I cut calculus for a smoke. Being the first day that I learned how to roll a spliff. Being the day that I dragged him through the roadless world I walked.

I nodded slowly, never being one to kiss and tell unless it was worth the telling. George was a different story, he'd tell you every detail till you couldn't.

"Introducing the American the right way, that's my boy!" He remarked,

I chuckled, shaking my head. "No, it wasn't Lucy." George looked at me surprised, "You remembered a girls name.. That's a first." He remarked, taking another sip of his tea.

That was true but Lucy wasn't some casual 'call me' that I never got back too. She wasn't another pretty face and she knew that.

George placed his mug into the sink, grabbing his keys off the table. "Need a lift?" He offered, his bartending job was on the way of university. I shrugged, placing my Ramones mug next to his and slipping over my messenger bag.

-----------------------------------------

Lucy's POV.

So far I was two lectures in and I enjoyed my professors, and the place was a lot less scarier than I had imagined.

Overall, the day being pretty good except for that essay due by next week and the exam coming up this Friday. Not making it the perfect 10 I was hoping for.

I became a girl gone mad, making sure that every note was jotted into my Evernote. Sometimes unconsciously jotting down the professors name. I wasn't going to start out the class with any less than an A.

Professor Stein walked around handing out a list of all the textbooks needed for his class, reminding us of all of the deadline in bold red lettering that we needed them by.

"Please, if you have any questions or concerns. Let me know. Have a good day everyone." He exited, all of us rising in unison and on our ways to next lectures.

For me I had an hour to spare, finding myself in the university cafe. Consuming my second... No fourth. No no, third coffee of the day that was sending me bouncing off the walls before I had settled at a table near a window. Pulling out my leather bound journal onto the wooden, industrial table in front of me.

It was coming to me, the experiences of today and things I was excited about. Running off the pen before it reached the paper and place them into words.

Time ran by, the three students that I had met earlier. Their raving about our classes together were nowhere in sight. I lit up my screen, fear rushing in. I was going to be late!

+++

I made it in the nick of time, shimmying myself up the aisle till I spotted a empty seat. Taking a seat and pulling out everything as fast as lightening rippled through gray skies. I was never one for being late, I was always extremely early.

"Welcome to Creative Writing" The professor introduced, standing so small at the bottom of lecture hall. Beginning the welcome PowerPoint once all the seats were filled.

Professor Leone lost me when she talked about an overrated author, a book boring for the boring girl like I. I sighed to myself, already typing in the facts I knew before she flipped screens.

As I sat slightly slumped in my seat. My chin resting on my hand as I looked on, I felt a stare grazing the back of me. I turned scanning all the unfamiliar faces that were looking at the screen lighting up the room and none fasten on me. I shrugged it off, going back to Leone and waiting for the class to end.

Professor Leone handed out a stack of papers to each row, "Alright, please have all your textbooks by Friday!" Her voice clashing with the books and pens hitting the bottoms of backpacks.

I followed suit, placing everything back into my bag and closing my laptop. I went to turn on my heel, almost colliding into a chest. Tensing at the sight of the familiar tattoo reading 'Annie' peaking from their button down.

It was Matty.

"Blue." The wild wind picking up, twisting in my body as the nickname fell so easily from his mouth.

I looked up at him. "I thought you were in a band?" I recalled, he nodded. "I am. I'm studying audio engineering on the side." He furthered on. "But you were just in my creative writing class?"

He chuckled, shaking his head at my flood of questions. "Extra credit. Last minute." He replied, shooting a crooked smile. "But now I'm pretty glad it was my final choice."

This boy definitely knew how to add color to canvas, my cheeks turning a shade of crimson.

And how to lower my GPA.

#the 1975 fanfiction #matty healy imagines #slutforbritdick #wattpadarchives

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tragedybunny · 4 years

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The Blade’s Edge - A League of Legends Fanfiction - Chapter 16

Hello Lovelies - I'm trying to stick with this despite everything. I'm considered essential industry so I'm still expected to report for work. It's a little scary at times. I would greatly appreciate any comments you have to let me know people are still enjoying this story.

Playlist Song:

John Mayer - Half of My Heart

They had a simple arrangement. She was the weapon to be used on his enemies. Things get more complicated when emotions bleed into what should simple. Now the two of them find themselves on the precipice of something that was entirely unexpected.

“Jericho!” She turns and flings herself at me, arms constricting around my neck, face buried in my shoulder. Her obvious joy at my appearance throws me off guard and I don’t respond to her. “Oh, you’re mad at me aren’t you?” That joy dissipates into sullen sadness.

I wrap one arm around her and run my hand through her hair, willing her to remain calm. Most of the patrons have wisely elected to ignore me coming to collect my drunk bride to be. Still, it’s not unwelcome to have Darius looming about discouraging them. “Of course not. I just didn’t know where you’d been tonight.” I had, in fact, been furious when Darius’s messenger reached me and I’d had to traverse all the way down to the slums to get her. Saying that to her now would accomplish nothing but upsetting her further.

So I lead her outside to the waiting carriage, Darius accompanying us. As if on some celestial cue, rain starts to shower down, threatening to soak us on top of everything else. I turn to Darius. “Thank you for sending for me. And for taking care of her until I got here.” Kat pulls out of my grasp and starts slowly meandering toward the carriage.

“She’s…” He considers his words for a moment. “She’s a real mess right now.” He doesn’t need to give voice to his concern, it’s plainly evident.

“I’ll take care of her.” For once it’s a promise I mean in all sincerity. He nods and turns back toward the tavern, presumably on his way to handle Draven. He’s a better man than I, keeping watch over those important to him. Kat’s come to a stop outside the carriage and I go to her, putting my hands on her shoulders, intent on getting her inside out of the rain.

“I’m sorry to be so much trouble.” I freeze. I’ve never known her to sound like this, like a small child on the verge of tears.

Am I the cause of this? I coax her to turn and face me and pull her close. “No worries Kitten, let’s just get home.”

“But if I’m too much trouble you won’t want me around anymore.” Have I somehow given her this notion?

She sniffles and I fear she’ll burst into tears. For once I’m at a loss for a course of action, I want to stop it, but I know not how to soothe her feelings. “Why ever would you think that?”

She shrugs, her head now laying against my chest. She feels like ice against me and I wrap my coat around her as the rain continues to beat down on us. “It happens.”

Damn it, Soreana. I shouldn’t have sent her to deal with her mother. I thought perhaps it would have gone smoother without my involvement. I should have just forced her compliance and left Kat out of it. I stroke my hand along her back. “It is raining, it is late, and you are very drunk. You need to go home and get some sleep.” I kiss the top of her head, unsure if I’m doing the situation any good. “All else can wait until the morning.”

She doesn’t respond but she’s pliant as I lead her to the carriage and help her in. She immediately gets as far from me as possible, leaning against the far wall. As we lurch forward, she curls in on herself, still looking terribly despondent. “Is there something I can do?”

She pulls her hand through her hair, more violently than usual, and shakes her head. “No.”

“Let me try.” There has to be some way to reach her.

“Why? It’s not like you care!” Her head snaps toward me, eyes flashing, as she flings the words in my direction.

In that sudden transformation from sadness to fury, I’m taken unawares and react by instinct, her words cutting me as deep as one of her daggers. “Of course I do!” There it is, the forbidden thought, given voice and brought to life. It feels like something living, permeating the space between us. She at least yields and moves closer, leaning on me as I hold her. “I mean that, Kat.”

I told myself at the very beginning of all this that I would not become attached to Katarina. We would have a mutually beneficial arrangement and nothing more. That illusion was shattered that fateful night when I believed I had driven her away. I don’t even like to contemplate what it would have been like to go to her room and find she had actually gone. Somehow though, that was not the case, she had chosen to stay. Ever since then I’ve had to confront the truth, that I had failed to remain detached as I had so carefully planned.

That is really what brought on this whole marriage idea. She doesn’t need me, she never did, I deceived her into believing that. Once I leave to handle this rebellion, it is only a matter of time before she figures that out. If we are married though, she may be more inclined to stay. So I will do what I must. I can’t let go of her, and I know of no other way to keep her.

She makes a little contented noise and tightens her arms around me. If nothing else, the storm seems to have calmed and my little Kitten is happy for the moment. It doesn’t take long for her to find that place somewhere between sleeping and wakefulness. I fully expect there to be fall out from tonight, but at least we have this moment. Once we’re home, I tuck her into bed, letting her wrap herself around me once we’re both under the covers.

It’s barely past dawn when I have to leave her and I find myself regretting it. I had told myself that even though it was our wedding day, the Empire continued to need governance. In truth, I could have made arrangements that would have given us more time together. Deep down, I hadn’t wanted it to seem a thing of great import, particularly when I had downplayed it so heavily to her.

It’s frustrating to feel that I’ve botched this whole situation from the start. And so that evening, I find myself in the study, perched over the table for once clear of maps and battle plans, awaiting the Magistrate’s arrival with no small amount of dread. Kat is still upstairs, doing gods know what, so I’m left alone with my thoughts and more emotions than I particularly care for.

Feeling restless, I lift the cover of the little wooden box before me. Inside, on a velvet bed are two gold rings, each cast with my adopted house sigil of a raven in flight. They had been a last minute idea when she’d said yes, but it brought all of this into a concrete sense of reality. All things considered, they had turned out decent enough and I did hope she was pleased with the gesture. Where was she anyway? There are times I’m amazed she ever manages to assassinate any of her targets since she can seemingly never be on time.

There’s a light tapping at the door, which is of course not Kat. “Enter.” Face austere, eyes never locking with mine, Moira enters. “Yes.”

“Is there anything you require before the Magistrate’s arrival?” She maintains that neutral expression, even though her feelings on the matter at hand are known to be less than positive.

I’ve known Moira the majority of my life. She’s not much older than I am and she began her service here when she was just a girl. She’s been fiercely loyal to me and of all the household staff, she’s the one I trust. “Yes, could you please see what’s keeping Madame Katarina.” This has been the only issue between us in all these years. It is time for resolution.

Her expression darkens. “I will inquire but…” And it begins.

“But what?” I challenge her.

She stands fast instead of retreating. It would be admirable if it were not above her station to do so. “With all due respect Sir, you are familiar with her temperament. She will do what pleases her.”

I inhale a sharp breath, I had hoped it wouldn’t get this far. “It is not your place to have opinions on her behavior, Moira.” My tone’s harsh, it is time for her to accept Kat’s place here.

Instead of letting go, she goes even further beyond her place, pushing the boundaries of my patience. “She is a petulant child. She’s a scandal. She…”

“Moira!” I bark, cutting her off, that is more than enough. “She will be my wife before the sun sets. It is time she was given the respect due to her. I will tolerate nothing else. Is that understood?”

The choice is her’s to make. She gains control of herself, casting her gaze downward, returning to the dutiful servant. “Very well, Sir. I will go see to her.” She turns and leaves without another word. I am relieved she chose her position over her opinions. She’s been thorny about Kat from the start, but she does keep the household running smoothly, and it would be a tough task to replace her.

Kat burst through the door not long after she leaves, eyes telling me my message was relayed in a less than pleasant manner. She looks remarkably well given the events of last night. Does she remember what was said between us? “Satisfied? The Magistrate hasn’t arrived yet and you felt the need to send her to fetch me.” She doesn’t have her hair up and it’s become a messy scarlet halo around her, very fetching.

Ah, but now she’s mad at me. “I didn’t want us getting delayed. And please, learn to get along with Moira, you’ll need her when I’m gone.” I catch her hands just as she starts to make an angry gesture. “I know, I’ll speak with her before I leave.” I make note that she’s wearing an entirely new dress, emerald green trimmed in ebony. It exudes a sense of softness that’s out of the ordinary for her, an almost ethereal quality. Its meaning doesn’t escape me, it’s her wedding dress, she chose it specifically for today. Before now I could likely count on my one hand the number of times I have felt guilt for my actions, and now it threatens to devour me. None of this is properly done. “You look exquisite, it brings out your eyes.” I kiss her cheek, still holding her hands in mine.

I’ve stolen her momentum and I can watch as she gives up on her annoyance. “Thanks.” She smiles that slight, almost shy smile that tells me a compliment has truly pleased her. “Fine, I’ll try.” She concedes and returns my kiss.

“There’s something I wanted to show you before the Magistrate arrives.” She lets me lead her to the table where I pause for a moment, suddenly doubtful this idea will appeal to her. After a moment’s hesitation, I hand her the box, still unsure. “I thought they would make it a little more official.”

She lifts the lid and I await her judgment. “Really? You didn’t have to go through the trouble.” She sounds pleased and I can finally breathe. Excitedly she plucks hers out from the box and slips it onto her left finger. She stares at it for a moment before pulling it off to move to her right. “So we match.” My throat goes dry.

At last, the tapping at the door as the Magistrate announces himself relieves the situation. A slight little man, drowning in his robes of office, he shuffles in with no pomp about him. He’s almost a comical sight, but he’s known for his discretion. I am not strictly trying to keep this secret, but also I do not want my personal life to be a public spectacle. Not that we’ve ever managed to avoid that before now. He inclines his head toward me. “Good evening Grand General.” He turns to Kat, offering her the same respect. “Madame. I understand you wish for brevity, I will review your documents quickly and then we will begin.”

“You’ll find everything in order.” I gesture to the small pile that awaits him on the table; Soreana’s hard bought permission, a family lineage guaranteeing we are not too closely related, and our personal financial arrangement. He’s only been at it a minute or so before Kat is looking restless. I take my place next to her and wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her close. “You will never learn patience, will you?” I lean down and whisper in her ear.

“It took you this long to realize that? So much for all that vision.” She nips my earlobe temptingly as she whispers back at me.

“Hmm, my vision is showing me having to teach my wife a little discipline later.” She bites her lip and shivers a bite. Let that thought sit with her.

“All seems to be adequately in order.” He lifts his gaze from the papers before him. “Shall we begin?”

“With all haste.” Kat and I turn to face one another and without thinking I reach to take her hands. Looking into her eyes, I’m unsettled all over again about this, but there’s no stopping what I’ve started.

“Absolutely. Do you, Jericho Swain, pledge your troth to Katarina and wherefore you shall bring her into your home as your true and only wife?”

“I so swear it.” I give her hands in mine a small squeeze. She does deserve more than this hurried, barely thought out, covert sham. How did it come to this? Again that guilt I cannot seem to shrug off, it could have been different.

“Do you, Katarina Du Couteau, pledge your troth to Jericho and wherefore you join yourself with him as your true and only husband?”

My breath holds still in the silence that follows. “I so swear it.”

He gestures at the box still open before us. “You may exchange rings if you wish.”

I gingerly take Kat’s from the box and place it on her proffered finger. The sleeve of her dress slides down her wrist and I’m confronted with that faded handprint that still mars her pale skin, a reminder of my other sins. I relive that night so often; that fear she tried to hide, but her eyes exposed. “You’re hurting me!” I shamefully lost control of the demon and worse could have happened. Have I kept my promise to do better?

Wordlessly she takes her turn, slipping my ring on and giving me a small smile. I should make this up to her, this whole stupid debacle. Mayhaps I should even let her go, at last, to give her the freedom I promised her. Once I’ve put down this rebellion and come home.

“I now declare you…” He’s cut off as Kat ambushes me with an eager kiss, teasing me with her tongue slipping into my mouth. He clears his throat. “Your signatures if you please.”

With ink applied to parchment, we’re officially wed, and it still does not sit right with me. The Magistrate briskly packs and with a final inclination of his head takes his leave. The door’s hardly shut behind him and Kat wraps herself around me. “We should go upstairs and celebrate, husband.”

I fear I will be undone by that word on her lips. I crush her against me and bury my face in her neck, digging my teeth into her skin to urge on those sweet little noises she makes. “If that is what my wife desires.”

I don’t give her time to answer but catch her up in my arms and sweep her off her feet, kissing her again. The sound of yet another tap at the door irritatingly interrupts us. “Yes.” I grind out, reluctantly setting Kat back down.

Moira at least has the decency to look apologetic. “I beg your pardon for the interruption, Sir, Madame, but there has been a delivery.” I gesture impatiently for her to be out with it. She hesitantly holds forth a note. “Madame Du Couteau has sent a wedding gift. You had best come and see.”

“What did she do?” Kat snaps, charging out of the room followed closely by Moira who valiantly tries to calm the storm. Dread filling me for whatever stunt Soreana has conjured up, I trail them.

Up ahead in the great hall, Kat lets out a yelp of surprise and that speeds me along. Coming out of the hallway I find her kneeling on the stone floor, Moira and another servant around her. “Aren’t you a sweet baby?” She coos to something in her arms that is hidden from me. I reach her side and, gods help me, it’s a drake hound pup. I despise drake hounds, they are noisy, ill-tempered, stubborn beasts.

The leathery skinned pup wriggles about even more at her words, black tongue lapping at her face. “You are precious.” Finally, she turns her gaze up to me as if just noticing my presence. “Look, Jericho, mother sent me one of her pups. It seems strangely kind of her.” Hardly, I’ve made no secret of disdain for them, Soreana likely knows of it. She stares down at the little fiend in her arms, enchanted.

“Kat, you know the amount of work that goes into the keeping a drake hound.” She needs to see sense on this matter.

“Obviously, I grew up with them.” She continues to blithely snuggle it.

“I don’t think…” How am I to put this to her?

The elation visibly drains from her. I am going to utterly ruin our wedding day all thanks to her miserable bitch of a mother. “I know, I can’t keep her. She’s too much work and she’ll make a mess of the house.” She pouts, not the dramatic playful pout I know so well, but with real dejection. “I just want your promise that she will be properly trained. If it would mean that much to you, you should keep her.” It very near causes me physical pain to say that.

Her mood brightens back up instantly. “You mean it?” I nod, fearing I won’t be able to make the words leave my mouth. She leaps to her feet, still cradling it. “Thank you.” I’m rewarded with a quick kiss and then the beast is abruptly thrust into my arms. “You two should get acquainted, scent is how they bond with their pack.”

Despite my instincts, I hold fast to prevent the squirming mass from dropping to the floor. “Just don’t let her chase Bea. She’ll have to adjust as is.” It continues to scrabble around, whimpering until Kat thankfully relieves me of it.

“Let’s get you settled in upstairs where I can keep an eye on you.” If I believed in gods I would tell you they had truly abandoned me. She heads for the stairs and turns back when she realizes I haven’t followed. “Are you coming? I still intend to have that celebration with you.”

“Right behind you.” I hurry behind her. I suppose if nothing else, I’ve done at least one thing today that made her happy.

#katarina #swain #swain x katarina #League of Legends #league of legends fanfction #the blade's edge

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missusk · 4 years

Text

Pecha Berries

A Pokemon Shield Nuzlocke Story.

Chapter 4 - Just Six, but Seven is Fine

[Team Roster: Jackson (Scorbunny), Bella (Yamper), Lacey (Wooloo), Orchid (Bunnelby), Sap (Grubbin)]

Dolly changed out of her uniform as quickly as she could, not wanting to wait another second to enthuse with Hop about what just happened. He must have had the same idea, because they both came sprinting out at the same time and nearly smashed into each other.

“That was wicked!” Hop yelled, pumping his fists.

“I know!” Dolly shouted, jumping up and down.

“Standing there on the pitch,”

“In the stadium,”

“In front of everyone!” he finished, clenching his fists. “I can barely contain myself!”

“My heart’s racing!”

The two blathered back and forth, talking a mile a minute, until two others approached them.

A familiar twirl of dark red and gold flickered, alongside a crisp light gray. Dolly was practically catapulted into the wall by the amount of charisma these two men brought as they walked forward. She had seen them both a thousand times through a screen, but something about the way Rose’s light green eyes pierced into hers made her heart quicken.

Oh boy.

“Seems like the two of you enjoyed the opening ceremony by the sound of it! You must be the two Trainers our Champion endorsed himself,” Rose said with a charming smile. “Welcome, and it’s a delight to meet you.”

He shook Hop’s hand, then turned to Dolly, taking her hand in his as well. Not for a handshake, however, as he placed his other hand on top of hers. His light green eyes met hers as he continued.

“I’m Rose, of course.”

Dolly’s eyes flicked from his eyes down to her hand held within his. She swallowed.

Oooh boy.

He needed to stop looking at her because sweet Arceus were those green eyes mesmerizing. Not this again. Why must she be bombarded with so many charismatic men? Her poor heart could hardly handle it. She swallowed again when Rose turned her hand over and smiled inquisitively.

“Oh, and what’s this? I see you both already possess Dynamax Bands,”

She wished he would let go of her hand before it slipped out from how much she was sweating. Her hand probably felt like a Cloyster tongue. He looked into her eyes again.

“It seems like you’ve been led here by the guiding light of the Wishing Stars.”

Instead of an eloquent and insightful reply, as was her full intent, Dolly’s throat just let out an unfortunate squeak. She could see Hop in her periphery raising an eyebrow at her and boy did she want to smack him. And herself. She thought she was more robust than this, but alas, she was just a wafery napkin that was easily charmed by powerful men.

Rose finally released her hand from his and stood back, smiling at the two of them.

“I daresay this year’s Gym Challenge is looking to be an absolute blast. Very good, very good indeed! The whole Galar region is in for some excitement!” he said. After a quick glance at his watch he gave them a slight bow. “I’m afraid I must be off, but best of luck to you both!”

Tall, handsome, charismatic men: 2. Dolly: 0.

Hop nudged her and waggled his eyebrows as Rose left. She shoved him.

Leon came up next, pumping his fists as she had seen his brother do so often. He explained to them a bit about the next steps of the Gym Challenge, and about something else too, but she only watched his golden eyes sparkle. And his arms when he moved his cape back as it cascaded over his broad shoulders. And his dazzling smile. She wondered if the previous Champion wore their shirt as tight as he did. What was he saying? Dolly felt like she was going to explode when he ruffled her and Hop’s hair and sent them off with some more Poké Balls and potions.

Hop whistled as they made their way to Route 3.

“It’s a good thing I’m going to be Champion and the one working with Rose, huh Dolls? Not sure Galar has enough towels for how much you were drooling. And you know, you’ve got to actually win your way up with Pokémon battles. You can’t just persuade Rose to give you Badges by using…other means,” he said with a wink.

Dolly gasped and smacked his arm.

“What kind of girl do you take me for? Arceus,” she laughed. “It’s not my fault he has hypnotizing green eyes.”

“Gross, girls are so weird," Hop said, pretending to gag. "He’s a tubby middle-aged man. Lee told me Rose picks his nose,”

“He did not tell you that!” Dolly laughed. “Whatever, you’re just jealous he’s handsome and magnetic and intelligent and you’ve got less charm than a brick,”

“What!” Hop yelped, stopping in the road. “I’m charming!”

Dolly continued on, flipping her hair behind her shoulder.

“I don’t see any girls drooling over you,”

“I’ll prove it to you with a Pokémon battle, how ‘bout that?”

"Not sure what that has to do with charm, but I can’t stand here with you assuming I’m not going to win again,” she grinned, pulling up her sleeves.

The two Trainers battled in the streets of Motostoke, laughing and mocking one another as they darted about the bricks. Dolly was liking this feeling that continued to burn within her every time she battled. Sometimes it was fire, and sometimes it was a roaring ocean, with waves crashing and resurrecting her soul as she commanded her Pokémon forward.

As Hop withdrew his final Pokémon, he set his hands on his hips.

“Just what I’d expect from my rival! You know what? I’ll even give you one of my League cards! That’s how good I think you did in that battle,” he grinned, plopping his card into her hand. When he did, Dolly laughed again.

“What am I supposed to do with this? Floss my teeth with it?”

Hop reeled back at her comment.

“How dare you! That will one day be a limited-edition collector’s item! Keep it safe and sound and one day it’ll be worth millions,” he said with a decisive nod.

Dolly rolled her eyes as they continued into Route 3. Hop was nearly bouncing around her by the time they got to the edge of Motostoke.

“Just go,” she smiled, rolling her eyes again. “I don’t fancy sprinting everywhere anyway.”

“Great see you in Turffield then!” he beamed, already rushing toward Route 3. “Hello Galar! Meet your next Champion!” he called, startling a few Rookidees out of a nearby tree. “From the sleepy town of Postwick - it’s me, Hop!”

Dolly let out another laugh as she shook her head, meandering into Route 3 herself.

The fresh air filled her lungs as she took in a deep breath, the sun shining brightly upon her. She stretched up toward it, flexing her fingers. She agreed with Sonia when she said it was nice to be on the road - minus her aching feet and aching shoulders and aching back, at least the sunshine and breeze were nice. She was also excited to use the new tent she got in Motostoke instead of using that old fabric shrapnel as a blanket.

She looked about her, tall grass filling in more of the pathway forward. The blades waved gently in the wind as Dolly peered through. A new route meant a new Pokémon to add to the team. She could catch one more Pokémon, she would allow herself one final team member, and now it was just a matter of who it would be.

Her eyes locked onto a bit of brown trudging through the grass. There. She tossed out Jackson and pointed to the Pokémon flank facing away from them. He nodded, prowling closer, ears flat against his head.

In a flash he leaped, chomping down on the Pokémon.

“Nice hit!” Dolly enthused, running up to the two Pokémon. “I think?”

Jackson’s face was flush in the dirt as a Mudbray held it there. He squirmed and shouted a few choice words, to no avail.

“You a Pokémon Trainer?” the Mudbray asked, still holding Jackson down with his hoof.

“Uh, yeah?”

He nodded his head toward Motostoke.

“Saw you and that purple-haired lad battling, saw you could talk to Pokémon. Mind if I come with you?”

“Oh. But, uh” she stuttered, glancing around. “Aren’t we supposed to battle? And I catch you proper?”

The Mudbray shrugged, taking his hoof off Jackson and setting it on the ground. Jackson shot up and gasped, flinging mud onto her shoes.

“You sent out a Fire-type Pokémon. Didn’t want to bother hurting him if I was just going to come with you anyway. Not much to do around here.”

Dolly stuck her lip out in contemplation.

“Well, I suppose that’s pretty considerate of you. I imagined my last Pokémon catch would be a little more... exciting?”

“Yeah come on, I want to battle!” Jackson enthused, hopping around the Mudbray. He threw a couple air-punches, then tripped over a rock and back into the mud.The Mudbray shrugged again as Jackson fussed.

“‘Fraid you won’t get much excitement out of me. That’s why I’ve been looking for a Trainer to follow around, anyway. Name’s Hudson.”

“I’m Dolly. Welcome to the team, then, Hudson,”

He nodded as they continued along Route 3. Jackson kept punching at Hudson who only walked stoically along.

“Come on, Hudson! I’ve got all this energy and I want to battle!” he roared, reaching his fists to the sky. He punched a Zigzagoon, it fainted, and Jackson evolved into a Raboot.

Dolly couldn’t help but chuckle as Jackson sprinted around her and Hudson.

As the trio made their way through Route 3, battling and leveling and chatting, Dolly eventually ran into Sonia, who was gazing out over an energy plant in the distance.

“Heya, Gym Challenger!” she grinned, turning to Dolly as she approached. “You looked real ace out there during the opening ceremony! Oh, but where’s Hop?”

“He went on ahead,” she said, rolling her eyes. Sonia grinned.

“He can’t sit still at all, can he? Guess he really wants to catch up to his brother.”

Dolly shrugged as Sonia continued explaining about the local surroundings. She mentioned a building off in the distance that Rose owned, and suddenly Dolly was much more interested in the conversation.

“Can’t say I really get him, but the chairman seems like a pretty brilliant guy, right? He even endorsed a Challenger this time too, I think his name was Challenger Bede.”

Dolly nearly swooned, thinking of Rose and their interaction earlier. Of course he was brilliant, Sonia. He was brilliant, charming, enrapturing, handsome, captivating, etcetera. She thought back to those dark features, those dangerous eyes, that chiseled jawline.

“Oh, and here, these should help you,” Sonia suddenly added with a grin, holding out her hand. She plopped two revives into Dolly’s hand. Dolly stared at the two yellow tablets for a moment, her eyebrows pulling together.

“Oh, uh...thanks Sonia, but I can’t accept these,” she muttered, looking down and handing them back.

“Wow, look at you, Miss Confident!," Sonia said, letting out a laugh. "Don’t think you’ll ever lose, huh?”

“No, I...I can’t use them. ‘Nother part of the Curse.” Dolly said quietly, still kicking at the ground. Sonia tilted her head.

“What do you mean? Do they have the same effect as throwing too many Poké Balls?”

“Not quite. But they definitely won’t work for me.”

Sonia nodded, understanding dawning on her face. Dolly let out another breath.

“That part is the hardest to talk about, for obvious reasons. I figured you’d think I was selfish and cruel and whatever since I was battling again, risking the lives of my Pokémon like that.”

Sonia paused, scratching her chin again. Then, she shook her head.

“I don’t think less of you, Dolly. From what I’ve seen, you treat your Pokémon with a lot of love, care, and respect. They all seem to like you, too. And hey,” she said with a smile, setting her hands on her hips. “Maybe that part of the Curse doesn’t affect you anymore anyway. I’d say keep battling and moving forward in the Gym Challenge - maybe we’ll both learn more about it as we go along like this.”

Dolly couldn’t help but smile at the woman before her. Even though she wasn’t positive Pokémon fatality was part of her Curse still, it’s not like that was something she wanted to test anytime soon.

Sonia saw her off to Galar Mine No. 1, Dolly trying her best to be subtle when asking more about Rose. Just subtle things like his energy plant and his chairmanship and if he was married or not. Subtly, of course.

Dolly grimaced as she walked into the mine, a layer of grime and dust already forming on her clothes. She peered about, taking in the view of the new scenery before her. It was dirty, dusty, and gross. Little Pokémon darted about, popping up out of the dirt, but she was at six Pokémon, the limit she set herself, so she didn’t bother catching any as she traversed through the mine. After their training, she learned Hudson was quite the powerhouse. He obliterated the first Roggenrola they ran into anyway, so no new Pokémon even she wanted.

As she trekked farther in, her distaste for the mine wavered as she noticed little outcroppings of gemstones sparkling between cracks in the wall. Then she stepped in a Diglett hole, nearly rolled her ankle, and her distaste was right back where she started.

After following the Carkol tracks farther, Dolly could see daylight reflecting off of some of the gemstones in the walls. She let out a sigh, hoping she was getting close to leaving this rubbish mine. Her shoes and ankles were caked in dust and all she wanted was a hot shower. As she followed the tracks to the end of the mine, she saw someone standing in the way of the exit, looking about the room.

He looked to her as she approached. Had she met this guy before? His huge pink coat looked familiar...

“Coming this way? I’d advise against it. Any Trainer with a Wishing Star is in for a beating from me and my Pokémon,” he smirked, shoving his hand into his pocket, tossing a Poké Ball into the air with the other.

Great? She just wanted to take a shower.

“You. You’re the Gym Challenger endorsed by the Champion, aren’t you. What a joke,” he snickered. “You’re aware the chairman is more important than the Champion, correct?”

How dare he pit those two glorious men against each other.

“Uh...do I know you?” Dolly asked, peering around him to the exit of the mine.

“I was chosen by the chairman himself, and that makes me more amazing than you!” he laughed, still tossing his Poké Ball into the air.

A memory of him shoving Hop in the Motostoke atrium flashed through her head. So, she had seen him before. Was this that Challenger Bede Sonia mentioned earlier? What a stupid name to go with such stupid hair.

“Uh. Right. Look mate, I just want to get to Turffield,” she said, trying to sidestep around him. “Not looking for Wishing Stars or the bother,”

Dolly's brow furrowed as he blocked her path, standing to his full height.

“I said any Trainer who already has one is in for a beating,” the boy growled. “Are you deaf, or are you as stupid as the other bloke who the Champion endorsed?”

Her eyebrows raised. So that’s how he wanted to play. She took a step back and lifted up her hands in mock-defeat.

“You’re right, you’re right, my apologies, your majesty,” she said, bowing slightly. “Now, somebody who was endorsed by the most important man in Galar must have an important name, right? What was it again…?”

Dolly pondered, rubbing her finger to her temple. The boy smirked again.

“You’ll do well to remember it,” he started. “It’s B-”

“Brandon...Bryce...Bill…” she interrupted, setting her hands on her hips. She looked up and snapped her fingers. “Ah, I remember! It was Bidet!”

She could practically see the steam shooting from his head.

“Doing the hard work for the hand of Galar,” she continued. “Tell me, Bidet, do you and Oleana take turns wiping the chairman’s a-”

“That’s it!” he fumed, taking a furious stomp forward. “No one makes a fool of me or the chairman. Go, Solosis!”

He chucked his Poké Ball into the space between them and a Solosis’ cry echoed throughout the mine.

She tossed out her Poké Ball with a yawn and her Grubbin appeared before them. After a few hits, the opposing Solosis was down. Suddenly Dolly was grateful for the challenging training in the cave, as it would have been pretty embarrassing to lose to this guy. It only took a moment for Dolly to realize the pattern unfolding before her. That was quite a bit of pink...and quite a bit of Psychic. What a shame that her Grubbin was Bug-type.

It didn’t take long before her opponent was defeated and even more furious. He clenched his fists and took a step toward her. She stood her ground, staring up into his eyes as he glared down at her. After a moment he paused.

“Fine. It’s fine. I wasn’t even trying that hard anyway,” he grumbled, slapping some coins into her hand.

Bede took a step back and looked her up and down. Subtle.

“Well that was unexpected,” he laughed. “I suppose you’re more able than I thought.”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Thanks, I guess. Off to Turffield then. Bye Bidet,” she said as she hiked up her bag and exited the mine.

The setting sun shone brilliantly over the fields of wheat unfolding before her. It took her a moment for her eyes to adjust, but once she had she took in a breath.

Wheat fields rolled over the hills as far as the eye could see. There were trees dappled throughout the landscape, and giant stones artfully placed throughout. She could see Turffield in the distance, with its Gym watching over the town. This was certainly a much better view than the mine, she thought, as she started towards the route. She took a couple steps, tripped, and landed face-first into a pit of mud.

“Sorry,” she heard someone squeak.

“Who in the bloody he-” Dolly looked up and was met with a pair of big, brown eyes. Her mouth fell open. Unfortunately for her, some mud fell in. “An Eevee! No way!” she yelped, mud spitting on the Eevee’s face.

The Eevee cowered and started scampering away.

“Wait, hold on!” Dolly called, quickly picking herself up out of the mud. “I’ve only got one shot per route, I’m not letting this one go. Go, Jackson, catch that Eevee!”

Jackson took off sprinting. In a decisive tackle both Jackson and the Eevee were on the ground, rolling, tackling, biting. The dust was kicking up as the two battled, peppering the air around them.

“Careful Jackson, not too much!” she called as she caught up to the two of them. Once the Eevee looked just weathered enough, she tossed a Poké Ball, then it rolled three times and clicked.

“Alright!” Dolly cheered, pumping her fist into the air. “An Eevee, what are the odds of that happening?”

She cheered again, picking the Poké Ball up off the ground. Perhaps having seven overall wasn’t so bad? It’s not like she could let go of an Eevee.

“Let’s meet her officially, shall we?” she asked as Jackson came running back to her.

In a flash of light the Eevee was before them again, still panting.

“Here, take this,” Dolly said, kneeling down and holding out an Oran berry. “This’ll make you feel better,”

The Eevee took a cautious step forward, her paw hovering above the ground. After a moment she trotted to the berry and ate it up quickly. Dolly plopped onto the ground completely, crossing her legs.

“Welcome to the team, little Eevee. Do you have a name?” she asked, picking at the mud that was drying on her face.

“It’s Posey,” the Eevee whispered, looking at her paws. “Thanks for the berry…”

“Do you like adventure, Posey? Traveling? What do you like to do?”

“I’m Jackson!” Jackson said, interrupting Dolly as he grinned. He stood up to his full two-foot height and stuck out his paw. “Sorry about beating you up!”

“Oh it’s okay,” she said, a small smile appearing on her face as she shook his paw. “I like battling, and I’m pretty good at it, too.”

Jackson grinned and she looked back to the ground bashfully.

“I’ll say!” Jackson boomed. “Your Bite nearly tore my ear off!”

“Th-thanks,” she smiled, eyes twinkling.

After an introduction to the rest of the team, Posey melded in effortlessly. Jackson seemed to be paying her quite a bit of attention, and Dolly made a sly mental note of that.

After a bit more training, they found a nice outcropping to set up for dinner. Dolly sighed as she took a seat, peeling off her socks and shoes again. Not so blistered this time, she thought as she watched her small Pokémon team playing in the grass. Sap clambered up to sit on her lap.

It had been a while since she lived like this she thought, stroking her now-Charjabug who was emitting sparks in content. She’d never had so many Pokémon on her team, but she did have one once before.

It was before she and her mum moved to Galar. Even then she was pretty lackluster - all the other kids had hobbies like collecting pretty stones or doing crafts, or playing sports or competitive chess. It wasn’t until she met her in the forest near her home when she was looking for Pecha berries to pick. She couldn’t have been more than seven or eight years old - even then she could talk to Pokémon, but her mum never let her have any. She was outside, meandering in the woods for the familiar bushes. She remembered it was spring, because her Pokémon’s coat was pink - her favorite color at the time. She was reaching in the bushes, but instead of grabbing a berry, she grabbed the flower on her head. From the second they made eye contact, their bond was solidified. Every morning that spring Dolly would ask her mum if she could go pick more berries because ‘she just really loved Pecha jam,’ and her new Pokémon friend would meet her at the edge of the forest. They would play together, splash in the stream in the forest together, tell stories - everything, really, throughout that spring and summer. It wasn’t until one summer dusk that her friend hadn’t come to meet her at the edge of the forest all day that day.

Dolly had wandered into the forest, a flashlight and the fireflies being the only guiding light as she called for her friend. Then, as she was walking along, she heard a familiar cry. Rushing through the bushes, ignoring the branches whipping at her face, she made it to a clearing in the forest. Her friend was surrounded by Unfezants, clawing and pecking at her in the clearing. Dolly had run up, trying to shoo the birds away as her friend cowered on the ground. It was then that she felt that fire within her first spark. When she and her friend blazed in unison and defeated the swarm of angry Unfezants, that was when the fire within her was ignited.

Dolly shook her head to the present and watched her new team hop around their makeshift camp. She had been on the road for a while, and she wasn’t any closer to figuring out her Curse than when she started in Postwick. That voice in the Slumbering Weald...what had it said? Shield of Galar? Overcome the Curse? She remembered that part as much. So someone, or something, knew about her Curse besides her mum and Sonia. But what did that mean?

“Miss Dolly, can you tell us another story?”

Dolly jolted into focus as Lacey trotted up to her, sauce from dinner still sticking to her wool.

“Maybe the one about the nice princess with the fluffy hair?” she asked bashfully, kicking at a rock on the ground.

“No, no, tell the one about the ninja who ate all the bananas!” Jackson quipped, bounding up to her as well.

“Or the one about the secretly courageous accountant and that venus flytrap and the treadmill,” Hudson added, joining the other two to sit before Dolly.

“I liked the ninja one too,” Posey added with a brief glance towards Jackson.

Perhaps deciphering her vision was a task for another day. She let out a laugh as she stood from her spot, setting Sap down and dusting off her leggings and skirt. They needed to get back on the road if they wanted to make it to Turffield before the sun set.

“How about a new story about a Pokémon team who loved washing dishes,”

“That’s lame!” Jackson pouted. “Make something cooler!”

“Alright, alright," Dolly laughed. "I’ll tell one as we clean up. This one is about a Snorlax who couldn’t touch his toes…”

As she wove the narrative for them, her small team cleaned up and set off again. When she finished her Snorlax story, she sent them back into their Poké Balls and hiked her bag up on her shoulders. She started back along the route, picking at the mud that was still caked in her hair. Suddenly she heard a call from behind her.

“Wooloo, where do you think you’re going?”

“I’VE GOT DREAMS TOO BIG FOR THIS PODUNK TOWN!”

Dolly turned just in time to be tackled to the ground by a runaway Wooloo, his wool squishing against her face.

It didn’t take long before someone lifted the Wooloo from her and tossed it to the side. Her vision was filled with the worried face of a man above her, his large sun hat blocking out most of the sky.

“My...Are you okay? You took that Tackle head on…” he said, lifting her to her feet.

Dolly winced as her back pinched when she stood fully. Just something else to add to her repertoire of aches and pains on this journey. She nodded when she saw his worried face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she grimaced.

“You must be one of those Gym Challengers, right?” the man asked, beckoning the Wooloo to his side. Dolly nodded in response. “Ahh, I thought so. I saw you at the opening ceremony.”

Wow, pretty impressive that he remembered her of all people. She was really hoping no one would have noticed she was there, then no one would notice that she would drop out after this town’s Gym. He stuck out his hand with a friendly grin.

“My name’s Milo, I’m a Gym Leader and rather partial to Grass-type Pokémon. I’ve been itching to see just how good the Champion-endorsed Gym Challengers are. I can walk you down the rest of the way to Turffield, I’m off there with this little guy anyway,”

Dolly nodded and walked in step with Milo as he chatted with her on their way to Turffield. He was pretty friendly, but she wasn’t sure how many of these questions she wanted to answer. If she was just going to quit after his Gym, the less everyone knew about Challenger 052 the better. They made it into Turffield before the sun fully set, and Milo left Dolly with a wave. She grinned as soon as she saw Hop waiting at the front of the town.

“Dolls I thought I already told you, you can’t win by flirting with every important person in the League!”

"Nice to see you too.”

“How do you manage to get so dirty so quickly? There’s literally mud in your hair,” he grimaced as he fell into step with her.

“Gotta do what I gotta do,” she laughed, picking little pieces out of her hair. “Now where’s the Gym?”

She looked about the town as she followed Hop down the dirt path. It was lush and green, with fields of wheat rolling over into the horizon, trees speckled throughout. Little brick houses sat humbly throughout the fields and dirt roads of the town, accented with colorful flowers, shrubs, and artfully placed wheelbarrows. Tall stones rose from the ground as well, marking the end of each path throughout the village. She and Hop made their way through the town, breathing in the crisp air as the sun continued to set. They finally approached a tall, round building, oddly out-of-character for the humble town.

“That’s Turffield Stadium right there,” he grinned, turning to her. “The place is jam-packed with Challengers, though. It’ll be ages before your turn comes up, but I’ve already got my Badge. I reckon I’m just about the greatest when it comes to wrangling Wooloo, I’ve had plenty of practice at it, after all!”

What? Wooloo? Why was he wrangling his own Wooloo? What did that have to do with the Grass Badge?

“Wow, check you out,” she grinned, flipping the Badge over in her fingers. “Leon better get ready for you and Wooloo.”

Is that what he meant about wrangling Wooloo?

“I’m sure you can win this one, too. You are my rival, after all,” he smiled again.

She looked up to Hop, up to his familiar face and his familiar smile. She would miss seeing that smile on the daily once she headed back to Postwick. They could always video chat, she supposed. Dolly let out a yawn as she rubbed her hands over her arms, the cold of dusk biting at her.

“Waiting until tomorrow is fine with me, I’m knackered anyway.”

She waved goodbye to Hop and looked back up to the Gym looming before her. It glimmered in the dusk, with the purples and greens contrasting the dark blue sky behind it. Dolly let out a sigh, picking at the skin around her fingers. Her mind flashed back to her first Pokémon, then back to the present. This could be it, she could lose another one. But, she set out to beat at least one Gym, and that’s what she was going to do. Beat Milo then head back to Postwick...maybe she could persuade her mum to let Munchlax have some friends. Bringing home seven Pokémon wouldn’t be so much more than one, right? Dolly speculated different methods of persuasion as the sun finally set over Turffield.

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