#levi x mia

[starstruckkittensweets]

Chapter LX (“AWWW”)

A/N: So...I’m back, for now! Hello again everybody, I am so sorry for dropping this story out of the blue last year. A combination of work, writer’s block, and some family/personal issues made it kinda tough to sit down and focus on this story. I apologize if this chapter is a little choppy, I used it as an inspiration to crawl back out of my writer’s block, and writing it was a little therapeutic for me. It’s a slow chapter and a bit on the shorter side, but I think it’s a bit of a breather before we get into the last stretch of this story. Speaking of, I probably won’t update again until I have a majority of the remaining chapters written. It shouldn’t be too hard, I already have them planned and outlined, and now all I have to do is write them out. 

As always, thank you so very much for sticking with me throughout this long and drawn-out process. I really appreciate each and every one of you, it’s because of your constant support that I’ve gotten this far in this story to begin with. So thank you and I hope you enjoy the chapter! 

Fandom: Attack on Titan  Pairing: Levi x Mia (OC)  Words: 5.8k 

Warnings: suggestive dialogue, mentions of pregnancy and raising children, mostly fluff all around but Mia is hopeful for having children one day 

Taglist: @omg-lexiloveyou, @tootiredforyourshit3963, @super-peace-fangirl, @mr-robot-x, @unusversuscanicula, @cyborgnate, @saltypancakes 

|LX|

The summer sun was warm against my skin. A soft glow shining through the curtains, bleeding through the sheets around us. I stretched my arm along Levi’s bare chest, eliciting the smallest of hums from his throat. I couldn’t help but smile as he tightened his arms around me, as I buried my face against the crook of his neck.

Morning already? It feels as though I barely got enough sleep…

Still, it was early enough for us to laze around a bit. Neither of us had anywhere to be until later this afternoon, anyway. Maybe we could afford to sleep in, just this once.

Every part of my body felt sore; the muscles in my thighs were still burning from exhaustion, my throat was a little scratchy from screaming his name last night. By the way you were screaming Wolf, I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole castle heard you. My face grew warm at the thought, and that’s when Levi shifted himself to smirk at me.

“What is it?” His voice was still raspy from sleep, sending a pleasant shiver down my spine.

“Nothing. Just admiring my handsome captain, like I do every morning.”

He didn’t roll his eyes or scoff like I expected him to, just like he’d done every other time I’d called him the h-word. Instead he slid his fingers across my forehead, brushing a few strands of hair from my face, before thumbing the little white scar across my cheek. I hummed as he cradled my face in his hands, lips fluttering over the top of my head.

Of course, his one rule in bed: No kissing before brushing our teeth.

But the bed was so warm, and his arms were so comfortable, that the mere thought of getting out and leaving him was enough to make me grimace. So I snuggled in as close as I could, pressing my face to the planes of his chest and kissing the skin below.

“Someone’s clingy today.”

“You’re one to talk,” I retorted, but my voice was muffled by his chest. “You can’t stand it when I get out of bed before you.”

“Oh, is that why you won’t let me leave?”

As if to test his little theory, he began to inch closer to the edge of the bed, sliding his leg from out of the covers and towards the floor. But I was quick to snatch him back, hooking my leg around his own and keeping him pinned to the bed below.

“Tch, come on, you little shit.” But there was no malice in his tone as he carded his fingers through my messy hair. “I have to piss. And clean up. You should do the same, too.”

“But you’re so warm…”

He groaned again, flopping back down against the pillows. I crawled up the length of his body and held myself over his chest, with my elbow propped up against the side of his head.

“Just a few more minutes, captain.” His jaw tightened as I slid my finger across his collarbone, down his chest and over his abdomen. “You’re too warm and comfortable to let go of just yet.”

“…A few more minutes. But that’s it.”

Of course. I pressed a kiss to his cheek before settling into my usual place, with my head tucked beneath his chin and my palm pressed against his heart.

Already I could start to feel myself dozing off again. It was all so surreal to me—the gentle hum of his breaths, the warmth of his sun-kissed skin against mine, and the soft tug of his fingers in my hair, lazily twisting the strands at my nape. Suddenly I didn’t feel like a soldier of the Survey Corps; soldiers never felt peaceful like this for too long.

Every morning could be like this, after this war is over.

That little voice in the back of my head was already hard at work, whispering forbidden dreams and promises in my ear. I could only press my face against his chest, as the thoughts began to run rampant within my mind.

Imagine waking up next to him like this for the rest of your life, but in a different house. Maybe one somewhere deep in the forests beyond the Walls, away from the rest of the world. Maybe we’ll live in a cottage by a lake or a river, one we’ve built together with our own hands. Maybe we’ll have a barn as well, to keep a few horses close by. And maybe when I wake up one of these mornings, I’ll find Levi’s fingers splayed across my stomach, protecting the child growing inside of me. Our child.

The thought of children made my throat close up. Fuck. I forgot I’d mentioned them to him last night…

Neither of us were ready for that conversation, maybe not for a good few years. We were still soldiers, sworn to protect the remnants of humanity from the Titans, even at the cost of our lives. We couldn’t set aside our duties for a couple of children for ten years at least, or maybe even more. And I refused to give them off to a wet nurse or another couple to raise in our stead. If Levi and I were ever going to have children of our own, we would raise them ourselves, not let another person take over. I couldn’t even bear the thought of handing my child, either a boy like Levi or a girl like myself, over to a stranger I didn’t even know.

It was best to just wait until the Titans were eradicated altogether. Then we could settle in that silly little cottage in the forest. Then we could discuss the topic of children freely. But for now, it was a possibility neither of us dared to speak out loud.

“What is it?”

I brushed my fingers along his collarbone once more. “What’s what?”

“You know what I mean.” Levi groaned as he shifted himself against the pillows; I nearly laughed when I realized the spare pillow was still propped up against what remained of the poor headboard. “What’s bothering you? And don’t say it’s nothing…because I’ll know you’re lying.”

He held me firm against his body, with my chin propped up on his chest and his palms against my shoulders. I sighed, wondering if it was worth it to come clean to him now and bring up my thoughts about our future children—if we even end up having any to begin with.

But I couldn’t get the words out. They were lodged in the back of my throat, keeping me from breathing, from telling him just how I really felt about all of this. They were right there on the tip of my tongue, and yet I couldn’t say them out loud no matter how hard I tried.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want us to retire from the Scouts when this war is over. I want us to get married, to move to a little house far away from everyone else. I want us to have children, as many as we can possibly have. A son, a daughter, whatever you want—it doesn’t matter to me. And maybe we’ll have that tea shop you told me about once, maybe in one of the outer districts close to home. I want us to stay by each other’s sides until the day we take our last breaths, with graying hair and wrinkled skin and our many grandchildren playing at our knees.

But…how could I tell him all of this without scaring him away? If there was one thing I knew about Levi, it was that he liked to take things slowly, to allow himself to adapt and adjust. I couldn’t just dump all of that on him without any warning whatsoever.

Still, I had to say something to him. So I cleared my throat and touched his cheek, tracing down to his jawline as softly as I could.

“…I just wish every day could be like this.”

Soft, quiet, gentle—absolute bliss.

His only answer was a light squeeze against my shoulders—and I had no time to think before he pulled me in close, slotting his lips against my own. Morning breath be damned, I still loved the taste of his mouth.

“I thought you didn’t like kissing first thing in the morning.”

I snickered as he rolled his eyes, before pushing me off his chest and rolling onto his stomach on the bed. His arms curled around the pillows, the sun’s rays spilling across his back. The scratches I’d left last night were still there, pink and tender, stretching along the length of his shoulders. I leaned down to press a few kisses along each one, smirking as I felt him shiver beneath my mouth.

When I was done, I lowered myself across his back and curled a few strands of black hair behind his ear. It was strange, seeing him with messy morning hair, but I loved it all the same.

“Can we sleep in, just for a little bit?” He groaned into the pillow as I pressed my lips to the shell of his ear. “I promise, I’ll make it up to you tonight…”

“With what?” He shifted his head to the side, giving me a half-hearted smirk against the fabric of the pillow. “More scratches on my back with those claws of yours?”

“Well, I could, if you want me to… But I’ll clean them up again, as many times as you want.” Just for good measure, I pressed another line of kisses down the most prominent scratch on his left shoulder—a long red line that burned brighter than all the others.

Neither of us spoke for a while after that, and for a moment I wondered if he was actually going to give into my plea of sleeping in. But then he was pushing himself off the mattress, palms digging into the pillows below. I flopped down on my back at his side, staring up at him as he stretched out his arms and rolled his shoulders back and forth.

“Let me piss first, at least. And I suggest you do the same.”

It was hard not to smile as I watched him disappear into the bathroom, leaving the door open just a little bit. I yawned and curled my arm behind my head, staring up at the ceiling above. With the effects of sleep still lingering, and the warmth of Levi’s touch still against my skin, I closed my eyes and let my mind begin to wander.

Once this war was over, we’d be able to have all the lazy mornings we wanted. Just the two of us, in our little house in the heart of the forest. There was a Forest of Giant Trees just outside Shiganshina’s outer gates, and once we took back Wall Maria maybe we could settle there—that is, unless they didn’t turn it into a tourist attraction like they did with the ones within the Walls.

I thought of the river cutting through the southern half of the Walls, through the center of Shiganshina before leading further into the territory beyond Wall Maria. As far as I knew, none of the Scouts knew where it came to an end. It carried on further and further south, even past the old castle ruins I’d explored on my first expedition beyond the Walls. I remembered staring at it with my mouth agape, watching the water flow south as far as the eye could see, before disappearing into the red horizon. Ever since then, I’d wondered what was at the end of it, and whether or not there were even more rivers in the world beyond our three safe Walls.

Once we win this war, we’ll be able to find out for ourselves. We’ll settle down somewhere, away from everyone else within the Walls; once we start exploring the Walls will surely feel a bit cramped. It’ll just be me and Levi, and our two horses of course, and someday down the line—

Before I knew it, I was pressing my palm to my stomach, splaying my fingers across the scarred skin. And I couldn’t help but frown when all I felt was stillness. Nothing was in there—not yet, at least.

Hold on—what the fuck am I thinking? I groaned into my palms and turned over to lay on my stomach, nails digging into the top of my scalp.

You and Levi aren’t ready for children yet. Hell, you don’t even know if he wants children to begin with! You guys barely talked about it last night, you know. So stop jumping into sad little fantasies of the future.

As much as I hated to say it…the little voice in the back of my mind was right. The thought was nice, something to keep close whenever the future looked bright, but we both knew the truth. Neither of us had time to spare for a child right now. And there was too much at stake right now to start thinking about our retirement from the Scouts, or whether or not we would live together once the Titans were gone. And that alone made my hands begin to tremble.

Sure, we practically lived in each other’s offices at this point, but we were still under the same roof—with roughly a hundred other soldiers living in close proximity with us. Would Levi even be okay with walking away from the base someday to live alone with me? Or did he have other plans to live somewhere else—plans that didn’t include me?

Levi cleared his throat as he finally stepped out of the bathroom, ruffling his messy hair with his fingers. I was quick to slip in after him, catching a whiff of mint from his breath as he leaned in to kiss my forehead. Clean freak already brushed his teeth, huh?

“Make it quick if you want to go back to sleep.” I gasped as he gave my ass a light smack, before making his way towards the messy bed. “I won’t wait forever.”

I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue at him. “Just for that, I’m going to take all the time I want in here!”

“Go ahead, but don’t be surprised when you come back to a cold bed, brat.”

I closed the door with a huff, and even through the running water in the bathroom, I could hear him snickering on the other side.

My mind was still racing as I took care of my business, washing up my face and brushing my teeth with the minty toothpaste he kept on the side of the sink. A million questions flooded my mind about the future: what would happen to us, where we would live, the state of the entire Survey Corps, and everything in between. Of course, there was also the possibility we could never end up living together afterwards, even if we wanted to; for all we knew, one of us could end up dying before then.

I shivered and spat out the toothpaste with a grunt. Stop that. Thinking about it will only get you worked up. Focus on what you have right now in front of you, okay?

And right now, I had a handsome captain waiting for me in bed—all alone, and all mine.

He was still there when I opened the door to the bathroom—of course, I knew he would never leave me—and I wasted no time climbing back into bed and throwing the sheets over our bodies. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, pulling him in as close as possible as his arms found their way around my hips.

“So clingy,” he mumbled against my hair.

“…Just sleepy.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie—I was pretty sleepy, and already I could feel my eyelids drooping as I curled into his chest beneath the covers. I made sure to keep my body almost completely still (no kicking my legs or shifting from side to side), so he wouldn’t suspect anything was wrong with me. We were both too tired to even entertain any ideas of what the future could hold for us. I couldn’t spring this up on him now.

So I kept quiet and snuggled deeper into his chest, the warmth of the sun’s rays and his arms around me lulling me back to sleep.

|~|

When I finally left his room a little over an hour later, the first thing I did was head to the mess hall to check up on my kids. Thankfully they were no longer sleeping on the floor and across the tables, like they had been the night before. Now they were crowded around their usual tables, mumbling to each other over their identical bowls of gruel.

“Never again,” I heard Gretel mutter under her breath, “no more late nights. My head can’t take it…”

I snorted as I gathered my own bowl of gruel from the main counter. If that’s how she’s acting just by staying up late, I’d hate to see what she’s like when she’s hungover. Not that I would ever encourage my cadets to drink (at least, not when they were in my presence, of course).

Which reminded me… I’d have to go check on Mike and Moblit later today. Those two could become insufferable with alcohol in their systems, and while Moblit was usually reserved and had a high tolerance (normally), it was Mike who was the more rambunctious of the two. A bad influence on Moblit, if you ask me.

And sure enough, the two of them were sitting at our usual table, with Nanaba directly across from them. She was rolling her eyes as Mike held his head in his hands, and Moblit leaned too far over the table and smacked his forehead into the book he was currently reading.

“And if you look directly ahead,” she said, smiling as I made my way over to sit next to her, “you’ll see a pair of full-grown men struggling to hold their liquor the morning after. So much for all their big talk, huh?”

“I can handle it just fine, thank you,” Mike groaned into his palms. At least he seems too out of it to tease me about using Levi’s shampoo, like last time. “Those last couple shots killed me, though…”

“Wait…you had even more last night?” My eyes darted back and forth between Mike and Nanaba in between bites of my breakfast. “When was this?”

“After we split up, these two geniuses decided it would be a good idea to break into the whiskey in the cellar and see who could last the longest. And honestly…I’m giving this one to Moblit. Sorry, Mike.”

But neither of them seemed to be interested in the verdict. Moblit was whimpering into the pages of his book, as Mike mumbled a slew of curses under his breath. Poor boys. They would be like this for the rest of the day; I’d seen them both knock back shot after shot together after a particularly successful (and rare) expedition, and they were usually out of it for the next couple days or so. Moblit was always the first to recover, given how much he was already used to drinking during the week. (Working with Hanji every hour of every day could put quite the strain on both your mind and body.) Mike was the one who had to be babied through it all, which gave Nanaba plenty of room for teasing as she took care of him—and despite the occasional complaint, there was no denying both she and Mike loved the extra attention they got from one another.

“On a lighter note,” she continued, turning halfway in her seat to face me, “any plans for later today? Since this one’s going to be out of commission for a while, I’m looking for a new sparring partner.” Mike rolled his eyes at her, only to wince and grip his head once more. “I would ask Lynne or Gelgar, but they’re focusing on their ODM training today. So, you up for it?”

I glanced over at Reggie and Evan, yawning into their hands; at Emily and Murphy, who were dozing off on either side of Eld; and finally at Gretel, and despite putting on a brave face, she was quickly nodding off in her seat above her breakfast.

Looks like Mike isn’t the only one out of commission today. “Sounds like a plan! When do you want to meet up?”

|~|

Once I was finished with a small load of laundry and some extra paperwork lying on my desk, I headed out to meet Nanaba behind the girls’ barracks. By now the sun was at its peak in the sky, beating down hard on the two of us. She met me with a smile, her boots scuffing in the dirt as she rolled her sleeves up to her elbows.

Training with Nanaba was always a mixed bag; I never knew what she would focus on this time around. Sometimes she was stronger, sometimes she was faster. She never did the same thing twice, like myself or Mike did. While I focused on speed and evading attacks, and Mike insisted on pure, unbridled strength in his blows and kicks, Nanaba was always changing it up. It was impressive, how flexible she could be in the field—a good way to keep her opponents guessing, too.

But she was careful about the way she carried herself through our warmups, as well. Never hinting at saving her arm strength for her punches, or slowing down during our laps around the base to conserve her energy. She was someone who put her all into her workouts, and that’s what made her such an exciting partner to train with.

With three laps around the base under our belt, the two of us chose a shady spot at the edge of the meadow to train. The horses were grazing beyond the fences, tails swishing in the breeze, huge noses bumping into each other’s. I could see Ivy and Misty frolicking in the distance, kicking out their legs as though they were foals once more.

I was so enamored with the sight I almost didn’t see Nanaba’s fist aiming for my cheek. I let out a breath as I dodged her attacks, batting her wrists away and slinking to the side when she went for my head.

She’s fighting dirty today. Well, if that’s how she wants to play, then so be it!

Fists pressing into palms, a swift sweep of the leg—in no time the two of us were panting hard, foreheads slick with sweat beneath the cool shade of the trees nearby. She caught my wrist in her hand with a smirk, before tugging me close and bringing her knee up to my stomach. I grit my teeth against the pain, trying my best to break free from her grip, but she only snickered and wrapped her fingers around the collar of my shirt…and suddenly my back was pressed against the dirt, with Nanaba’s knee hovering over my chest.

“…No fair!”

“All’s fair in hand-to-hand combat, my dear.” She shifted herself off of my chest, before plopping down in the dirt beside me. I sat up with a groan, immediately reaching for the pair of canteens resting beside us in the shade. “You’re not as speedy as you usually are—still tuckered out from last night?”

“Fuck off.” I could only hope my blush added to my already-burning face from our workout.

“No, I’m serious.” Her smile was softer as she took a swig of her water, brushing her blond hair away from her forehead. “What’s on your mind?”

And suddenly it was coming back to me, so fast I could barely react: lying side by side with Levi in his bed, drawing lazy circles on his chest, dreaming about a future for the two of us beyond the Walls.

“…Nothing, I’m fine.”

But she was persistent; those bright blue eyes were cutting into my skin, poking, prodding for me to elaborate. Damn it, even without saying anything, she’s still so intimidating.

I wasn’t as close to Nanaba as I was with Hanji, but I still considered her one of my dearest friends. But how often had I actually sat down and talked with her like this? How many conversations did we have without the occasional joke thrown in, or with our fists flying during a training session? Nanaba was never the one I went to when it came to talking about my insecurities, or my dreams and fears of the world around me. It had always been Hanji, and later on Levi. But never Nanaba.

Still, there was a weight on my chest that I couldn’t get rid of, a nagging voice in the back of my head that demanded I talk to someone—and as much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t go to either Levi or Hanji this time.

“Come on,” she was leaning against the tree now, her legs crossed at the ankles, “spill already.”

I took another drink from my canteen, fingers trembling against my knees.

“…Do you have any plans…once this is over?”

“Once what is over?”

“You know…this?”

It wasn’t until I gestured to the base around us, to the soldiers training among the trees and the horses grazing in the fields that she seemed to understand. The soles of her boots dug into the dirt, her pointer finger tapping rapidly against the crook of her elbow. I clung to the canteen at my chest, waiting for her to speak.

“Honestly, I haven’t really thought about it.” She shook her head with a smile, which did little to quell the feeling in my chest. “Maybe I’ll tag along with Mike, if he goes back to his parents’ home up north. I don’t think they’d mind all that much.”

Of course they wouldn’t. Mike’s mother simply loved the company whenever we made the trip to Wall Sina, but there was always that sneaking suspicion that she loved Nanaba just a hair more than the rest of us.

Still, there was a forlorn look in her eye, a soft breath passing through her lips as she leaned further back against the tree. Almost as though she didn’t believe her own words.

“That sounds nice,” I whispered, but her eyes drooped to the ground, where she was scuffing up the dust with the heel of her boot. “…Doesn’t it?”

“I guess you could say that.” Her smile was back, but that look in her eye remained. “Now it’s your turn. What do you plan to do after this?”

Every word I could think of was on the tip of my tongue all at once; every silly dream I’d harbored since I was a child, right up until this morning as I curled up into Levi’s side, nestled comfortably in his bed. My cheeks were burning, my voice no more than a hushed mumble. But Nanaba leaned forward eagerly, urging me to speak up. And I knew better than to hide from those soft blue eyes.

You brought this on yourself, Wolf. So own up to it.

“…I want to marry. Maybe have a kid or two…”

I glanced up at her, waiting for a smug smile or a snarky comment about Levi (I know Hanji would absolutely go for it, but Nanaba had a bit more class than her). Instead she was gazing down at me, drumming her fingers against the crook of her elbow, and nodding along to the sound of my voice.

“That sounds nice, too.”

That sad look in her eye was back again, stronger than ever. And suddenly I was starting to feel a twinge in my chest, a gaping hole stretching itself wider and wider as our conversation began to truly sink in.

The question was hanging between us in the air, too heavy to say out loud. Too terrifying to confront head-on.

Do you really think you’ll live long enough to see the end of this war?

It was a question every soldier had to face at one point or another. From every cadet learning how to wield a pair of swords for the first time, to every veteran silently counting down the days with a smile on his face. There was always that lingering fear in their minds, that little voice that held too much weight to be ignored. That constant reminder of the reality of this world, and how cruel and unjust it could be.

We all had our dreams and goals and fears. Hopes for the future, regrets of the past, promises made to one another when all seemed lost. Little things to tell ourselves to get through the day, even if they consisted of unobtainable dreams we would never be able to reach in our lifetimes.

For Nanaba, it was going back home with Mike. For myself, it was settling down with Levi and having a child.

Sweet dreams to cling onto when all seemed lost, that little flicker of light at the end of the tunnel to help us keep pressing on. But all of that meant nothing when staring down the maw of a Titan, its beady eyes filled with rage.

How many of our comrades had held similar dreams? Dreams of returning to their homes and starting a new life for themselves? And how many of those dreams had died alongside them, at the jaws of the Titans beyond the Walls?

A bitter pill to swallow, but necessary nonetheless. It would be a miracle if we all came out of this war alive. We couldn’t afford to waste time wondering about what the future held for us. The best we could do was make the most out of what we could with our lives now.

I leaned against the tree with a sigh, my shoulder touching Nanaba’s beneath the shade. Across the meadows I could see Murphy and Evan, letting their horses out for a quick run. And close behind was Emily, with Ivy galloping after Misty and Gus as fast as her legs could carry her.

And suddenly it clicked—that was the future we were all fighting for. Not just for the good of humanity, for the safety of the people within the Walls, but for the chance to give those kids a better life.

Reggie, Gretel, Evan, Murphy, Emily—even Eld and Gunther, and Petra, Oluo, and Nifa. And every single one of our fresh-faced recruits, and even the cadets still in training at the southern tip of Wall Rose. Even the littler ones who played in the outer districts, who went to school in the heart of Wall Sina, who still got in trouble with their parents for playing too roughly with their siblings.

Those kids were the ones who mattered the most. The ones that were here and now, living and breathing—the most precious people within these Walls.

Maybe I couldn’t reach my dream of having children of my own in this life. But I could damn well do my best to make sure those kids woke up in the morning, without fear of what was lurking beyond our little haven.

|~|

The weight in my chest had eased up as the day carried on. By the time I retired to my office for the night it was no more than a little lump in my throat—easy to choke down when Levi came to visit me, a stack of paperwork under one arm, and a tray of tea in the other.

Neither of us spoke as we settled into our usual routine: the two of us seated across from each other at my desk, the only sound between us being the scratch of our pens against the parchment.

In a way I was relieved; at least neither of us seemed eager to mention my slip-up last night. It was for the best, anyway. The sooner I stopped thinking about it, the sooner it would leave my mind altogether.

But as I filed my papers away for the night, that strange feeling came back like a raging inferno. I grimaced at the culprit: the box set of books Moblit had gotten me for my birthday last night, resting on the edge of the file cabinet.

Where Mom Lives.

My mother’s favorite books to read as she waited for Dad to come home, curled up against the arm of the couch with her elbow propped up on a stack of pillows. She would always shake her head whenever the three of us would climb into her lap and ask her to read aloud to us. “You’re too young,” she would say, but she would still open the blanket and allow us to come cuddle with her. “You won’t appreciate it until you’re older. Much older than you are now.”

Before I knew it I was standing in front of the file cabinet, staring up at the three books above. Red, bronze, and green, each with fine gold trimming along the edges and spines. The pages were crisp and clean, and yet when I took the first book and opened it up, it still had that soft dusty smell to it.

Just like home, and my throat closed up all over again.

A pair of arms came to rest around my waist, and I bit back a smile as Levi pulled me backwards, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. “I hope you’re not planning on keeping those all to yourself.”

“Oh, would you like to read them when I’m finished?”

But he only shook his head, before leading me away from the cabinet, with his arms still around my waist. This time I laughed as he flopped us down on the couch, side by side, with the pillows pressed against my arm. Wordlessly he stole a pillow from the stack, placed it against my lap, and pressed his cheek to the soft fabric. A few seconds passed before he glanced up at me, the slightest trace of annoyance written across his face.

“Well? I’m waiting.”

With another laugh, I leaned down and kissed his forehead, brushing his long bangs out of his beautiful eyes. Then his nose, his cheeks, and finally his lips. And when I was done, I leaned against the cushions of the couch, turned to the first page, and began to read aloud.

And all the while, as selfish as it was, I thought of sharing a new life with him, just the two of us away from the world, with a home of our own and children in our arms.

[shipping-world1994]

"You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love--I love--I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."

[im-on-your-side-always]

thoughts on the morning show 3x10

- so happy we got to see the flashback. so important

- i just want to hug bradley 😭

- also the way cory’s voice trembled?? omg I won’t make it through this episode

- love myself a cory x bradley scene even if it’s through a door

- paul, I hate you!!

- grilled cheese ❤️

- also cory talking about how good the grilled cheese was 😂

- Mia is back!!

- loved the alex and bradley scene tbh

- alex talking to paul about meeting bradley 👀

- LAZARUS 🔥🔥🔥

- let’s go, chipper!!

- chip talking to mia while on air 😂

- cory and cybil teaming up - never thought I’d see the day

- alex and laura scene

- laura saying she didn’t really know bradley 👀👀

- cory’s shocked expression. I can’t 😂😂

- come on, earl 🙄🙄

- bradley is going home 🥺

- cory calling his mom 😭

- give billy an emmy for this scene

- yes, alex!!! 🔥

- kate!!!

- yanko and chris!! that was kinda cute though

- chris wants to leave??

- stella 🔥

- “he saw me for who i really was. everything about me. and I was afraid i could never be with someone like that.” ❤️😭

- “see you when I see you?”

- “I’ll miss you.”

- “You too.”

- AND THE TEARS IN CORY’S EYES. I’M A MESS

- there are tears welling in bradley’s eyes too???! BYE 😭

- and now I want to hug alex 🥺

- bradley and hal ❤️

- bradley 😭💔

[helebing]

With the Holiday season approaching, and one year since the second season of the show aired, our idea was to do something nice for this fandom, no matter if you ship Bradley and Laura or Alex and Maggie or any other combo. The idea is to spread some positive vibes, keep the love train going, and hopefully to inspire people to create new content with this gift exchange.

All you need to know:

Here's the form to sign up.

If you need more infos or anything else you can find us @ TMS SECRET SANTA on twitter or @andromedusia

[ticklygiggles]

Tickletober Day 19: Demon

Ft. Leviathan x Reader

A/N: This is sfw, but there reader has some ✨thoughts✨ about Levi in this one, nothing explicit, but writing a little not just in case!

"Isn't it a little silly that you're dressing up as a demon when you're... y'know... a demon yourself?"

Levi rolled his eyes, "it doesn't matter! It's a Halloween Party, no one cares."

You hummed, looking at him fixing the pink wig on his head. "You're right, I guess, but you know, I'm also surprised you decided to dress up as this specific demon, isn't he hated by most of the fandom?"

"He is! But hey, many people also think he's kinda cool!" He cried, turning around to face you, his torso was bare except for the cut-to-the-waist Haori which left him pretty much exposed.

Your eyes traveled from his long neck to his collarbones, his chest and down to his toned stomach, until they stopped by the baggy white pants clinging to his hips. You gulped, trying to avoid looking at him too intently and hoping he didn't notice the blush on your cheeks as he yelled at you with excitement.

"He's strong and hates weaklings- he'd definitely kill me, but anyways, look!" He shoved his hand into your face. "Asmo even painted my nails orange, and look!" He lowered his head to look at you directly in the eyes, his own were not their usual color, but of a bright yellow with blue scleras, and the phrase "Upper Rank Three" engraved in both pupils.

His eyelashes and brows were different too, now pink just as the wig on his head. "Do you see? He even painted my lashes and brows! He did a good job, huh?"

"He really did. You look just like that demon, even wearing those big pearls!" You said, eyeing the big, round pink pearls around his ankles, his feet bare. "So what can I help you with? You look pretty much ready to me."

Levi gasped, "what?! We're missing the most important part! Remember those blue lines around his body? I need you to help me paint them, could you?" He handed you some navy blue body paint and a brush, along with the demon's picture on his phone.

You silently agreed and he sat back on his chair, his eyes closed and a wide smile on his face. You couldn't help but smile too, biting your lower lip as you dipped the brush into the paint.

"Here I go," you said, letting out a deep breath as he nodded quickly and you finally pressed the brush against the middle of his hairline, painting a straight line down to the middle of the bridge of his nose.

That was an easy one, and though your hands were a bit shaky, it didn't come half as bad. Letting out another big breath, you dipped the brush again and this time got yourself to work on those semi-circles on the sides of his face.

"Feels kinda nice."

You hummed, pulling the brush away. "I bet it does, but please don't talk, I don't want to mess up."

Levi hummed in agreement and you continued to work. It was a bit hard, but you managed to do a decent job.

"Very well, now I'll move to your neck, okay?"

"Yes! You're really fast! I knew you'd be of great hELP!" Levi squeaked when you pressed the brush against his throat, his body moving away.

"Don't move, Levi. I'll mess up!"

"I'm- I'm sorry, I was surprised because it's cold and it t-tihihihickles! Ahahaha, wahahahait!"

Levi flinched away again, shrugging his shoulders with bright giggles. You had slid the brush from his throat to almost the side of his neck, but it was too much for him to handle.

"Ohohoh noho, it's too ticklish! I can't stand it!"

"Oh c'mon, Levi! It's alright! It's only until you get used to it!"

"Y-Yes," he nodded. "You mihight be right, but could you do it like a little faster?"

"I will try!"

And so, Levi straightened his back and closed his eyes, his hands tightening on his knees as he waited for the touch of the brush against his skin.

"Eek!"

"Hold still!"

"It tihihihickles!" He giggled, his cheeks turning pink as you tried to draw the line around his neck. He tried to stay as still as he could, but giggles kept pouring out of him, goosebumps raising on his skin as you reached the back of his neck.

You couldn't help but think that somehow it was really cute that Levi was laughing so hard just because you were painting on his neck.

"Okay, one line done, now onto the next."

Levi gasped, widening his eyes. "What?! Another?! No, I really think I won't be able to stand it!"

You raised an eyebrow, "then what are you going to do? We still have a long way to go! And what about the sides? And your toes?"

You wanted to laugh when you saw Levi's face turning bright red at the mention of those spots.

"C'mon Levi, we're this far already, let's buckle up and continue!"

"Y-You just want to tickle, don't you?!"

You giggled, dipping the brush back into the paint. "Maybe?"

Levi grunted, but in the end, he let you continue painting his skin. However, unfortunately for him (and perhaps for your good luck), he moved so much when you painted the lines on his sides that you had to start all over, several times. His laughter filled the room for longer than he would have liked, but Levi was satisfied with the results. And you were satisfied that you tickled him... indirectly!

----

Do you know who Levi dressed up as? In case you don't know, here's a link to find out~

[postwarlevi]

hi hi hi

how would you think levi would celebrate st valentines day? if he does

Hello!! Hmm, I think Levi at some point would start celebrating Valentines Day. If he were single in a modern setting I bet he's get single roses for all the females (and males, whatever) in the office. Maybe he'd get a couple boxes of chocolates and put them out for everyone to enjoy too! Something that to him is a small gesture but really makes everyone smile.

He would for sure celebrate if he had someone he were dating/ married to. Maybe he wouldn't get it at first, what he should do, but partly from his guy friends asking what he's doing for you and tiny hints that you drop that you would like something, he gets working on it.

I think he'd make a really nice dinner for the two of you basically from scratch. He'd know what your favorites are, whether it be pasta, prime rib, lobster, whatever it is! He might would research videos or articles for help. He's never been this fancy before but wants to do this right for you. I think he also puts some decor around, flowers and candles, just makes it real nice.

He also bakes an elegant dessert, a cake with your favorite flavors, and some cut fruit that goes with it. Turns out he's a great decorator and pipes frosting really well!

No doubt you are stunned when you come in and it's a nice night with just the two of you, candles flickering and soft music in the background. Oh, and a romantic movie before parting for the evening, or bedtime, depending on your living situation :) .

[nudystar]

y’all be tryna make the most insane ships legal

[giselaarevalos]

ADIDAS ORIGINALS X ORINOCO Production Designer | GISELA AREVALOS Film Director | JUAN PEÑA Ph | IONI EPELBAUM  Stylist | MIA SOIFER Agency | NEW CYCLE Art Director Mexico | Isa

[starstruckkittensweets]

“Winter Waltz” (Levi x Mia)

Summary: In the winter of 858, Mia takes Levi’s hand and leads him into the nearby town for a midnight walk - as well as a surprise in the square. 

Fandom: Attack on Titan Pairing: Levi x Mia (OC)  Words: 3.5k 

Warnings: post-Season 4 Marley setting, some spoilers for manga ending (no deaths mentioned), mentions of scars and war injuries 

Hello everyone! I know I’ve been absent on here for a little while, between work and writer’s block it’s been one heck of a few months. Hopefully things will start to settle down now and I’ll be able to focus more on writing and smoothing out my schedule, at least for a little bit. 

So I’m back for Christmas with a little Levi fic, as part of @levi-supreme’s Happy Birthday Levi 2022 celebration (featuring my OC Mia from my story A Wolf with Wings)! Rei is an absolute sweetheart and I was so excited when she announced she would be bringing this little event back this year! So go and show her some love! 🥰 Thank you for letting me participate again this year Rei - and I tried not to make it too similar to my fic last year! Writing this fic was a lot of fun and it helped me with my writer’s block after so long, so thank you for helping me get back into writing just in time for our special captain’s birthday! 

Aside from the warnings mentioned above, this is supposed to be a feel-good fic, a possible ending to my AWWW series for both Levi and Mia (as well as their little family). Not sure if this is going to be canon but just in case, possible slight AWWW spoilers ahead! I hope you enjoy! 

(Also, the titular waltz at the end of the story was written with Marriage d’Amour in mind!) 

“Come outside with me.”

Levi glared at me from over the rim of his teacup, and I could tell he was already poised to say no. But as I slipped my coat over my shoulders and grabbed my mittens, he gave a heavy sigh and pushed himself out of his seat. I met him halfway in the kitchen with his coat, just so he wouldn’t put any extra strain on his bad leg.

“Any particular reason you’re dragging my ass out in the snow close to midnight, brat?”

My cheeks grew warm at the old familiar nickname. “Only to show you something real quick. It won’t be long, I promise.”

“The kids—”

“They’ll be fine, Ada’s already agreed to watch them for the night. She should be here any minute now.”

Of course, his biggest worry would be the three little bundles in the next room over, tucked away for the night and already sound asleep. But they had been my first priority when planning for tonight; a quick request to Ada earlier in the week (with a promise of bringing her and her family freshly baked cookies and pastries), and she was ready to play babysitter for a couple hours on Christmas Eve. Gabi and Falco would’ve been my first choice, given how much the young boy enjoyed playing with the kids whenever they visited, but they were already busy with their own families. Our neighbor Ada was already taking a late shift at her family’s little shop, so she agreed to swing by on her way home to watch them for a little bit.

“Here, I got it.” As Levi tucked himself into his coat, I draped his scarf across his neck and began wrapping it around his collar. He didn’t grumble or mutter under his breath about how he didn’t need my help, he could handle it just fine on his own. He was getting more worn out these days, his eyes always soft with sleep.

But it was a good kind of tired. The kind where you could snuggle up in bed and fall asleep almost instantly. The kind of tired that almost felt…peaceful.

It was a good look on Levi. He deserved it, after everything he had done for us—not just for me and our three kids, but for his fellow soldiers, and the five kids across the sea on Paradis. He had fought so hard for so long, he deserved to have some peace and quiet for a change.

Finally the two of us were bundled up, with Levi tying on the last accessory of his outfit: a black patch over his right eye, covering the majority of the scar on his face. As often as I told him he didn’t need it, that he looked beautiful with his numerous scars, he insisted on wearing it whenever we left our little home, especially when the kids were out with us.

“They don’t need to see that shit.”

Never mind that our little boy of five years still crawled into his lap to press his tiny hands to Levi’s face, tracing the ridged lines down his cheek and over his lips. Or our two girls who took turns kissing him right on his scar and babbling away in their own little language. They didn’t seem to care in the slightest; never scared of how he looked, never shied away from his clouded eye or the missing fingers on his right hand. To them he was still their father, scars and bruises and all.

There was a knock at the door, and once Ada had greeted us (and practically rushed us out the door, encouraging us to have fun for even a little bit), Levi and I were on our way. The walk to town was mercifully short, just down the path and over the stone bridge that stretched across the river. I took Levi’s arm in my own, the snow crunching beneath our boots with every step we took.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Some place special,” I said with a wink. “But I’m not telling you where.”

He rolled his eyes but snuggled deeper into my side. Even through the sleeves of his coat and the wool of my mittens, I could feel his body heat pressing into my skin. But he grumbled as his forehead knocked into the earmuffs resting on the top of my head, before adjusting his position and continuing his walk. He had given them to me as a gift the first winter we lived here in Marley, on the morning of the first snowfall of the season. Most of the other women living here took to wearing them whenever it got too cold, and I had to say, they did the job well. I could finally enjoy the long winter nights without the tips of my ears burning red.

The river was calm beneath the bridge, curving around the rocks in its path, lapping gently at the shores. The town was just in sight, the faint lamplight illuminating our path. With a spring in my step I tugged on Levi’s arm—but still mindful of his injured leg. Even after all these years it could still give him trouble if he wasn’t careful.

It wasn’t too different from Ahorne, or even Shiganshina back on Paradis. We had the surrounding forest to thank for that; unlike some of the newer cities that had been constructed in the last few years, this little sliver of land could handle being a bit sleepy and old-fashioned. Travelers didn’t see fit to drive their fancy cars through the dirt road, opting for the traditional horse-drawn carriage to get around the town. Levi was always grumbling about how long it would stay that way though, about how long we would have until we were forced to adapt to the new way of life. He hated cities just as much as I did.

But I always brushed it off, smiling as I told him, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Let us enjoy this quiet little town while we still can.

A soft glow of lamplight drifted through the streets. Shops were lined across the sidewalks, most of them closed down with a sign plastered in the window, promising to open again the day after Christmas. Further down was a bustling tavern, with cheering patrons and hearty laughter spilling from the open doors. Levi scoffed under his breath as one pair of partiers stumbled their way out of the tavern, a young man with his arm slung over his girl’s shoulders, both of them blissfully lost in each other’s presence.

“They’ll freeze out here if they’re not careful.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled him closer, fingers pressing into the sleeve of his coat. “Let them be. We were kind of careless like that, once.”

“What do you mean ‘were,’ brat?” I couldn’t help but laugh as he swooped me into his arms, pressing my back against his chest as he ran his fingers up the hem of my coat. “You’re still like that, you know. Still a pain in my ass.”

He was faster than I expected, his countless years of training still fresh in his mind as he slid his hands up and down my sides. I was giggling uncontrollably at the ticklish sensation, boots crunching against the snow as I tried to wriggle out of his tight grip. But he was persistent, snatching me by the wrist and following me as I led him further into the little sleepy town.

“Come on, I’m not that bad! Besides, we’re almost there, so try to keep up!”

Our destination rested in the heart of the town, closest to the cobblestone square where citizens and travelers alike preferred to flock. An old, run-down building that had definitely seen better days, but it wasn’t the worst-looking place I’d seen. I think it had been in business before the fall of 854, but the previous owners had left since then, and the entire shop had been left in shambles since. If I remembered correctly, it used to be a candy shop—one Gabi and Falco spoke of quite highly.

I could feel Levi’s gaze burning into my back as I began to lead him inside. “And you brought me all the way out here because…?”

I gave him a smile from over my shoulder as the door creaked beneath my palm. Good, it’s still unlocked. “You’ll see.”

The inside was only moderately better than the outside. An aging wooden counter on the far side of the room, with a little flap nestled towards the center for easy access. Shelves lined every other wall of the room, freshly dusted and wiped down—which didn’t go unnoticed by Levi. I could already sense his growing unease as he shifted from one foot to the other, as I slipped my hand into my coat pocket.

“Listen, I know it’s not much, but that can change. Gabi and Falco already agreed to help me out with this, and I’ll take care of the paperwork so you don’t have to worry about it. But I was thinking…if you’re up to it, of course…”

My mouth was suddenly dry; my tongue twisted around itself, teeth chattering in the chilly air. Come on, not now! You’ve thought about this moment for months now, so don’t screw it up by acting stupid!

I’d thought of the words I’d say, how I would say them, what I would do once I was done. I’d rehearsed them both in my head and out loud, sometimes even in front of Gabi and Falco. (And while Gabi tended to roll her eyes and point out my many faults, Falco was the calmer of the two, always offering me encouragement and support.)

With a light scoff, I wondered if this was anywhere close to how Levi felt when he gave me that little silver ring on the beach of Paradis, just over eight years ago—the one currently resting on the fourth finger of my left hand, right beneath my dark green mitten.

I cleared my throat, my face warming up beneath his stare. “So, I was wondering if you’d want to…you know, open this place up with me…”

I slid my hand out of my pocket, unfurling Levi’s fingers with my own. His visible silver eye grew wide as I place a little bronze key in the center of his palm.

“We can have that tea shop you always talked about. And maybe I can make some pastries and snacks to go along with it. The kids volunteered to work here—if we paid them, of course—and they’ve already been helping me clean it up for the last couple weeks or so. And Onyankopon already offered to help me with the paperwork. I know everything’s been a bit hectic in the last few years or so, but he said it shouldn’t be a problem getting our names on it, as long as we pay the monthly rent—and it’s quite cheap too, from what he’s told me. And if everything goes well, maybe we can open it up by next Christmas. …Levi?”

He was still staring at the tiny key in his hand, his face unreadable. Already I could feel a horrible twist in my gut, that tiny damning voice in the back of my head as loud as ever. He doesn’t want this, you’re so stupid, you should’ve waited a while before dropping this on him—

“…Levi, if you don’t like it, we can just forget about—”

“Tch, come here, you dumbass.”

Suddenly his hands were on my cheeks, pressing my mouth against his own in a fierce kiss. I squealed as a gust of wintry wind blew in through the doors—damn it, I forgot to close them behind us, didn’t I?—but he was quick to wrap his arms around my waist and shield my body with his own. I could feel my eyelids drooping, my heart racing as I slid my hands through his hair as best as I could (it was a little hard to do with mittens on).

“It’s fine,” he finally breathed as he broke away from me. “No, shit—it’s more than fine. It’s perfect.”

Almost at once, that warm familiar feeling began to pool in the pit of my chest. “I’m glad you think so, because it’s yours, captain.”

“You mean ours,” he mumbled, pressing his forehead against my own. “Like hell I’m doing this without you by my side.”

I couldn’t speak, not with the way my throat was tightening up. So instead I took his hand in my own, the little bronze key still pressed between our palms, and nestled my face in his chest. His other hand came to rest at the small of my back, his warmth comforting in the chill of the night.

Even through the sound of the wind streaming through the open doors, I could hear the merry tavern music from next door playing on loop. People were cheering and clapping along, basking in the warm glow of yet another Christmas Eve.

Eventually, as the night passed on, the music grew quieter, the chatter of the partiers lulled to a soft hum. The two of us were still wrapped up in each other’s arms, standing like idiots in the middle of our soon-to-be tea shop.

Idiots in love, and the thought had me giggling against his chest.

“Come on,” Levi was the first to speak, pulling me towards the door with both hands outstretched, “let’s head home before you freeze. Your cheeks are getting red, you know.”

Oh well, I could deal with a little bit of windburn if it meant spending more time with him. Nevertheless, I followed him out the door and back into the square, down the familiar cobblestone path ahead.

The tavern was closed now, the streets dark and quiet. Everyone had left for home it seemed, eager to sleep and prepare for Christmas morning in just a few hours. We had to do the same, before Ada began to worry about us getting lost out in the cold.

“Wait one minute…”

Levi quirked an eyebrow at me as I held him in place, just outside the door of our little future tea shop. I pressed a finger to my lips (as best as I could in the mittens I wore), urging him to listen to the wind around us.

And suddenly we heard it: the soft sound of a piano being played, in one of the apartments towering over us in the square. A beautiful melody with gentle taps of the keys, expert fingers stringing along a song of love and peace. It was almost enough to make me fall asleep right then and there on the cobblestone path.

But then I had another idea—one that brought a wicked smile to my face. I pulled him back into the empty room of the tea shop, keeping the door wide open to let in the chill, as well as the beautiful music above.

“What are you—?”

“Dance with me.”

The rational part of my brain was scoffing right now, urging me to stop being so childish and start heading back home on that old familiar path. But I was hopeful, begging for Levi to indulge in this one silly wish of mine before we reached our tiny little home in the heart of the forest.

There was a glimmer in his eye, one I hadn’t seen since the end of the war—and suddenly his hands were nestled on my waist, tugging me into his chest with a huff.

“If you insist, brat.”

I slid my hands around the back of his neck, leading him into a dance I knew all too well. He was no longer clumsy on his feet like he was when I’d first tried to teach him; now he was confident in his steps, holding me close as he dipped and bowed along with me. It was a little hard with us both bundled up in our winter clothes, but our movements were still in sync, even after all this time.

When was the last time we danced together like this? Probably when our son was just a newborn baby, sleeping away in his crib with his little hands tucked into fists. Exhausted but unable to go to sleep, Levi had brought me into the living room of our shared cabin and led me into a dance—the same one I had taught him back at the Survey Corps base on that rainy night in the year 848. The same one my father had taught me and my siblings, and the one I hoped Levi and I would be able to teach to our own kids once they were older.

Everything’s changed, and yet nothing has. You’re still the same captain I fell in love with—the same silver-eyed Scout from the Underground City.

I glanced up at his face, pulling away just enough to slide one of my mittens off. His lips pursed together as I reached around the back of his head, tugging on the little thin string of his eyepatch. Within moments it was hanging between my fingers, revealing the beautiful scar and clouded eye beneath.

“You’re still so handsome, captain,” I leaned in close, my lips trembling against his own, “scars and all.”

The kiss was brief but sweet, as Levi pressed his palms into the small of my back. When he pulled away with a huff, I was pleased to see the faintest tint of pink splashed across his cheeks—and I knew better than to think it was because of the cold air around us.

“I love you, Levi.” A kiss to the jagged scar on his cheekbone, just below his right eye. “I love you. I love you.”

I love you.

With each whisper came another kiss, until I reached his lips once more. Something warm dribbled down the length of his cheek and onto my own—but he was wiping it away with the back of his hand before I could ask what it was. He cleared his throat and shook his head, the softest smile I’d ever seen splayed across his lips.

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

The music from the apartment above had died down to a low hum; whoever had been playing seemed to be getting ready for bed. I curled my hand around Levi’s, offering the bronze key to the tea shop in my other one.

“Wanna do the honor?”

He was quick to take the key from my grasp, despite the roll of his eyes and scoff under his breath. Within moments we were outside in the cold once more, with Levi locking the doors to the tea shop with a soft click.

“It’ll look so much better once we give it some color,” I told him as he took my hand in his own. “You get to decide what it’ll look like, okay? Oh, and don’t forget a name—I don’t really have any ideas, so it’ll be up to you to come up with a good one, alright?”

He remained silent as I rambled on all the way home, but the way he squeezed my fingers told me he was listening to every word I said. Through the forest, across the little stone bridge, all the way down the familiar path that led to home—he was holding me as tight as he could, with the little bronze key dangling from his fingertips.

It wasn’t until we were within our little fenced-in yard that I realized I was still holding onto his eyepatch; he had made no move to take it from me, to cover up his eye on the entire walk home. Sure, there was no one out on the streets at this time of night, but it was a tiny step forward.

Maybe someday he’ll realize he doesn’t need this silly thing to begin with, that he’s perfect without it.

“Thank you.”

The words were sudden, cutting through the chilled air around us. His hand was warm around my own, his breath fanning across my mouth as he leaned in close. He still clung onto that silly bronze key, almost as though it would slip through and disappear into the snow if he wasn’t careful.

“You didn’t have to… I mean, it’s so…” He groaned, swiping a hand through his hair and mussing it all up. “…Thank you.”

Oh.

I couldn’t stop myself from smiling like a schoolgirl, heart thumping in my chest like a nervous rabbit. “You’re very welcome, captain. Now come on, let’s get you all warmed up inside.”

He took my hand in his own—but not before pressing one last kiss against the skin of my cheek, right against the little white scar below my left eye. I giggled as his nose brushed against mine, as I reached behind me to unlock the door to our little home.

“Come on, the kids are waiting for us.”

And together the two of us retreated into our little home in the heart of the woods—the home we had built together after all these years—with the little bronze key to our newly-owned tea shop still pressed between our palms.

[ghmvsings]

ship pt 4 

minnie & morpheus // onyx & sophia // baby & cash // price & marnie // levi & mia // huxley & piter // ridge & charlie // radhika & keith // adora & cat // rhett & roxanne // price & nina // alethea & santigao // ruthie & emery // ford & river // dixie & brock // price & tommy // dixie & ben // james & malakai // james & ryker // james & olivia // iris & val // ida & sarah // grady & shannon // hadley & emma // adora & peyton // jude & blake // cormac & fallon // valerie & sreva 

[yoitsjay]

cardigan by taylor swift

imperial crosshair x f medic reader

reader was with bad batch for a year (crosshair was lowkey in love with reader) or so but went mia a couple months before plan 99. crosshair goes empire blah blah. crosshair is on a mission (s2 so his chip is like gone but hes still good soldiers follow orders) and finds reader on a remote planet helping injured people. and when he pops out she almost shoots him cause she doesnt recognize the armor but ima just leave it there and let you decide the rest of the angsty fluff or wherever you wanna go smut or not

I love you

My Cardigan.

Pairings: Imperial! Crosshair x Fem medic! Reader

Summary: Crosshair finds you after almost a year of you being MIA, and you made him realize how big of a mistake he had made, and what he could do to fix it.

Warnings: hurt n comfort, non explicit smut, p in v smut

Word count: 1,827

A/n: I loved writing this and listening to cardigan by Taylor swift on repeat. I will NEVER listen to this song again. lol.

Vintage tee, brand new phone. High heels on cobblestones.

On the harsh unforgiving landscapes of the remote planet of Yalara, where settlements and outposts scatter the vast and always changing terrain, there lies a medium sized hut, two floors tall hums with the sounds of medical and diagnostic equipment. It's a peaceful humming, background noise to fill the silence and make it comforting as patients get treated.

When you are young, they assume you know nothing.

Your hut had become a form of sanctuary for the people born on Yalara, travelers and refugees from all kinds of planets. You give them free healthcare, though they always find some way to repay you, and you help them find places to settle, or set them up with people who can help more than you can.

Sequin smile, black lipstick. Sensual politics.

You had always had an affinity for medicine, and caring for others was a hobby that you could never get tired of. Seeing their smiles every day, reassuring them that they were safe, and would be okay now… it was all worth the supplies you went through on a daily basis. Though you always had a way to get more.

When you are young, they assume you know nothing.

You had been working out in the back area of your hut, the sun just beginning to rise over the foggy mountain range, light reflecting off the dew drops that rested on tree and plant leaves. Your garden had been booming, with all kinds of plants, large and small, growing with relentless fervor.

But I knew you, dancing in your levi’s, drunk under a streetlight. i, i knew you.

But then you heard voices, far away at first, though they were nearing the front of your sanctuary. You made your way back inside, and rushed the less injured people into a safe room you had hidden below the main floor, having opened up a hidden panel in the floor.

Hand under my sweatshirt. baby kiss it better, right.

Once the voice reaches the door, you close the panel and cover it with a carpet, moving in front of the more injured patients in your clinic. The door opens and you raise your blaster, spotting a familiar feeling man in unfamiliar armor.

And when u felt like i was an old used cardigan, under someone's bed…You put me on and said i was your favorite.

You fire, and the blue bolt wizzes past the man's head, he is about to reply with a shot of his own, only to let out what you can assume is a gasp as he hesitates, and nearly drops his sniper rifle.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Chase two girls, lose the one.

When you are young, they assume you know nothing.

You stare at the helmet of the man, watching as he slowly sets down his sniper rifle, then begins to remove his helmet.

But I knew you. Playin’ hide-and-seek and givin’ me your weekends.

I, I knew you.

The blaster in your hand falls to the ground as you see none other than Crosshair, the man you had loved, and left almost a year ago… Your eyes were wide, and you just stared at him, and he did the same.

Your heartbeat on the high line, Once in twenty lifetimes, I.

You both almost didn’t want to believe that you were standing in front of each other, but here he was, in imperial armor… and there you were, tending to the sick and injured like you always had…

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed. You put me on and said I was your favorite.

“Y/n…” Crosshair breathed out your name in a whisper, like saying it any louder would break him. Though it broke you as tears started brinking your eyes, and you let out a choked sob.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars, was all we needed.

“Crosshair-” You choked out, glancing back at your patients before you tentatively took a step towards the man. You saw the tears in his eyes, the way he looked at you with so much regret and guilt…

You drew stars around my scars, but now im bleedin’

“What are you doing here?” You asked him softly, leading him into another room. He was more than happy to follow you. “I- i’m here on a mission… s’ told there were rebel insurgents on this planet… coordinates sent me here.” He answered you honestly, and almost cried more when he saw your frown.

‘Cause i knew you, steppin’ on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain I,

“There are no rebel insurgents here, just innocent civilians, trying to escape an Empire that shuns them and abuses them.” You told him, crossing your arms over your chest… over his old cardigan. Crosshair looked away from you, ashamed…

I knew you.

“What are you doing Crosshair?” You asked, and he looked back over at you. “What do you mean?” He asked, voice cracking slightly as he spoke. “What are you doing with the Empire Cross? you were never one to follow orders, let alone from people like them” You pointed out, seeing the confliction spread across his face.

Tried to change the ending, Peter losin’ Wendy

“I-.” He didn't have an answer for you… though the realization hit him hard, especially coming from you… He betrayed his brothers… his family for an ideal that would discard him the first chance it got…

I, i knew you

“Why did you leave?” Crosshair then asked, looking over at you as your arms fell to your sides and you tensed slightly. But you wouldn’t lie to him…

Leavin’ like a father, runnin’ like water, I.

“I was scared… I felt something evil approaching, and on top of that i- I was falling in love with you… I knew I couldn't live with the looming fear of whatever was coming, and allow myself to love you so… I ran away.” You whispered, looking down at the ground, your hair falling forward and slightly framing your face.

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing.

Crosshair frowned, and he took a tentative step forward, and when you made no move to turn away, or reject his advances, he took another step forward, removing his glove from his hand as he gently cupped your cheek, tilting your head up so you were looking at him. “You were right… danger did come… the Jedi were convicted of treason… my inhibitor chip- i- i tried to kill a young padawan… and when i got my chip removed i…”

But i knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss,

“You stayed with the empire…”You finished, and Crosshair nodded. A soft sigh left your lips, and you stared into his eyes before surging forward, pulling the man into your arms. Crosshair tensed but only for a moment, practically falling to his knees in front of you as he finally broke, tears streaming down his face as he held you tightly.

I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s

“I made a mistake, Y/n.” He whispered, feeling your soft fingers trailing the burn scar on the side of his head, though he didn’t even flinch, wanting to soak up as much of your touch as he possibly could. “It’s not too late.” She whispered, pulling back slightly so she could look into his eyes.

The smell of smoke would hang around this long.

“What do you mean?” He asked, staring into your eyes as you smiled a bit. “Leave the Empire Crosshair, i can help you find your brothers again, you can make it up to them, have your family back.” She spoke softly, cupping his face in your hands. “I can love you again… and I won't be running away this time.” She whispered.

‘Cause I knew everything when I was young.

And Crosshair felt hope, for the first time in a long time he was actually hopeful for his future… slowly but surely he nodded his head, and hugged you tightly in his arms.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time.

The minute you weren’t helping patients, crosshair had his hands all over you, he couldn’t tear himself away, not that he had you so close to him again. He took you up to your bedroom, backing you up until the back of your knees hit the edge of your bed. His lips were on yours, a clash of tongue and teeth.

Chasin’ shadows in the grocery line.

Clothes were shed, and you laid in the nude with Crosshair placing kisses across every inch of your skin, for every day he had missed you, for every mistake he had made. So many silent apologies that were all forgiven as soon as you asked for him. And he could never make you wait.

I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired.

Within moments he had slid himself inside of you with no resistance. He was being so soft, and so sweet with you, both yours and his moans bouncing off the walls in your bedroom.

And you’d be standin’ in my front porch light.

By the night's end he had made you see stars, and then saw his own as he came inside of you, bringing you closer together than you had ever been before.

And I knew you’d come back to me

You and Crosshair showered, did what you needed to clean up and were back within your bed. He refused to let you go, his arms firmly wrapped around your waist with your head on his chest.

And you’d come back.

“I'm sorry.” He whispered softly, resting his chin on the top of your head which was resting on his chest. “I know Crosshair… but I forgive you.” You whispered, smiling against his warm skin. “I've done so many vile things…” he trailed off, and you sighed.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan…

“and yet here you are, having realized those mistakes… and now you'll atone for it.” You breathed out, pulling your head back so you could look into his eyes. “they will forgive you too, though it may take a little bit.” You added, and he nodded his head.

Under someone's bed…

“We have to find them first.” He muttered, hearing you chuckle. “that will be easy… I have their contact codes, so we can meet them somewhere safe to just talk.” You stated, and he hummed. “Alright… maybe in a couple days… I just want to be here with you…” Crosshair trailed off

You put me on and said I was your favorite.

“Don't worry Cross… I won't leave you again.” You whispered softly, pulling the blankets up and over the both of you, closing your eyes as you rested against him, feeling him squeeze you lightly.

“I know.”

➺

Crosshair tag:

@nyctophobiart

Tbb:

@only-my-unexistent-fiances

All:

@moomoog017

[im-on-your-side-always]

thoughts on the morning show 3x04

- I know we got this scene already but I lost it when stayin’ alive started playing

- and there’s also kyle. look at me turning into the biggest kyle fan. 😂

- RETTA is here too!

- uba pooch 😍

- “Hello Bradley” i love the way he says her name

- that scene is soooo good. billy is eating this up!! 🔥

- the cory and stella scenes this season are incredible

- cory practicing his speech in front of the mirror 🥺

- he looks so good this season 🥵

- mia speaking russian??

- “I MADE A FEW ADDITIONS SINCE YOU WERE LAST HERE.” WHAAAAT??

- jon hamm is looking good 🥵

- kyle does finally have a last name. was actually wondering about his last name in the last few days.

- Chris is nailing it 🔥

- “I think Cory paid them to bury it.” WAIT?? DID HE??

- “I THINK THAT’S HIS BED FROM THE HOTEL.”

- what the fuck is fred doing here??

- i love the coney island scenes

- protective paul though

- that’s gotta be the only time we see fred, right?

- love how much stella and mia scenes we’re getting this season

- cory is stressed af. it’s only a matter of time until he’s having a breakdown, right?

- CHIP! :D

- obviously that’s where they end the episode 😂

- forgot to mention earlier, but that one scene was disgusting. this was so hard to watch.

[ash5monster01]

Getaway Camp : Thirteen

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x FemReader

Warnings: language, angst, minor depression, hurt/no comfort, mentions of past trauma, coping mechanisms

Summary: Charlie spends his day feeling lost, unsure how to cope with the new information he has been given. While Valerie struggles to come to terms with her own feelings as well.

word count: 3.1k

Masterlist

Twelve ←→ Fourteen

July 21st 1961

For the first time since Charlie had been at camp, he finally experienced his first bad week. The air at staff camp was tense, almost like everyone knew something was wrong. He had seen Valerie in passing but he still wasn’t ready to talk to her. She tried but Charlie hadn’t been able to bring himself to look at her without picturing her with Levi. It surprised him how hurt he was by all of this, especially since he once thought loving one girl would never be for him.

Now he had the day off of camp and no one to spend it with. Even Andy who was off with Alice and the rest of Valerie’s friends. That’s when it hit him that he had surrounded his time here around Valerie. Without her, he was still just the random guy who showed up one summer. So now on the gorgeous day, he sat alone in his bed, wondering when he became someone who relied so heavily on others. Especially after all he had been through. It just didn’t make sense.

When the coast is clear he finds himself sneaking out, avoiding anyone who did dare to talk to him. In this moment he wanted Neil more than anyone. To confide in him, hug him when he admits his defeat. His best friend, the one guy who would never judge him no matter how stupid he could be. Neil would love him anyway, probably offer advice Charlie didn’t want to hear but took anyway. It was this thought that made him miss his best friend so deeply, realizing all over again he will never get that back. For the rest of his life he’ll never get to share it with Neil. Never even get to tell him about the first girl he fell in love with me how she broke his heart.

Ducking into the boat house, Charlie finds himself drifting out in one of the single rower boats. He needed the distraction, the strain on his muscles, and the repetitive action to ground him in place. It was the only way his thoughts would still and he was guaranteed to be completely alone. It was another warm day, one he should’ve spent with Valerie, and instead she was probably with Levi. This angry thought fueled him to row harder and faster with no destination in mind.

“Charlie!” turning his head he spots the girl of his thoughts at the end of the dock, Levi and Mia stood behind her. Charlie clenches his jaw, turning away as he continues to row, desperately trying to ignore the splash that followed the call of his name.

“Charlie, stop!” the familiar voice calls again, and he wants to keep going, but the girl didn’t even remove her shirt when jumping in. She’s clearly fighting the water and no matter how strong a swimmer she was, he couldn’t live with himself if she drowned out here chasing after him.

“I’m not looking to talk Valerie” he tells her stiffly, doing his best not to look at her as she paddles to the side of the boat. She sighs heavily, fingers curling over the edge.

“Please, you have to let me explain” but Charlie doesn’t get a chance to respond because she’s trying to lift herself in the boat, the single person floatation device wobbling under her weight.

“Woah Val, we’re gonna tip” he tells her, hands reaching out to stop her, but she doesn’t. She fights it, the boat tipping further and further to the edge of the water. When Charlie leans too far to steady her movements his weight gives the final push and the boat sucks in the surface water and throws him in her direction.

“Damnit Valerie!” he says, splashing above the water, now soaked in his own clothes. She gives him a sheepish look, feeling awful for dumping him in the water, but at least he was finally looking at her.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know how else to get your attention” she pants, pushing her hair back off her face, and Charlie tries to not eye the see through fabric of her white t-shirt.

“Well you got it” he scoffs, swimming to the boat and trying to determine how to flip it back over. Valerie follows, still needing to talk.

“You have to let me explain Charlie, it’s not what you think” she says and Charlie finally stops his movements, turning to look at her with an anger that isn’t entirely directed at her.

“Isn’t it though? Even if you haven’t been with him while you were with me, I feel used. You told me you’ve never cared for anyone before. I feel like a pawn in a game I never asked to be apart of. Especially because I had real feelings for you” he seethes and Valerie tries to soak in his words, blinking and a bit surprised as the boy dips under water and into the air pocket under the boat. An escape while she tries to comprehend his words.

“Had?” she asks no one in particular, stuck on the past tense part of his sentence. When it finally catches up with her she ducks under the boat herself, ignoring the roll of his eyes when he spots her. Now angry with him.

“You think I don’t have real feelings for you to? It’s fucking terrifying Charlie, I’ve never felt like this before. I have no idea what to do especially when you won’t even talk to me” she says, grabbing his arm and using the water to drift him towards her. Her voice sounds weird in the muffled air around them but she doesn’t care. She keeps her grip on him tight and eyes pointed in his direction.

“And what about me?” he whispers, face close to her own and something flashes across Valerie’s eyes. Like she never even considered why he was as upset as he was. “I promised myself I’d never get close enough to someone to be hurt again and look where that got me”

“I’m right here Charlie, I’m trying” she begs, voice wavering as she tries to understand the boy who was still a mystery. She had learned so much and yet nothing at all about him. She wishes she would’ve tried harder.

“Just leave me alone Valerie. Let me comprehend it first” he counters with her and Valerie drops her head, loosening her grip against him. What she doesn’t expect is Charlie’s fingers lifting her chin and bringing her eye line back to his own. A look she doesn’t recognize on his face.

Shaking his head at her, he goes against his better judgment and pulls her into a kiss. He’s not quite sure if it’s goodbye or a see you later, but he does his best to get her out of his system for now. Kissing her like his life depends on it and trying to ignore how good she tastes. Yet every kiss with Valerie leaves him wanting more. His hand is curled around the back of her neck and in her damp hair, she wishes he would stay there forever. Yet once she’s surely dizzy from his kiss, he lets go. Without any words they share one last look before shoving the boat above their heads and back up right.

“Will you make it back to the dock okay?” Charlie asks, eyes not meeting her own once again and Valerie sighs, treading slowly in the water.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine” she mutters, starting to swim back to where both Levi and Mia have waited for her. Charlie carefully lifts himself into the boat, water now filling the bottom from their little accident. He doesn’t look at any of them as he grabs the paddles and continues to row away. Already trying to forget what had just happened.

When he reaches camp he goes back to his cabin, passing Valerie’s just to see her own wet clothes draped over the railing of her porch. He changes and does the same before leaving all over again, not wanting to risk looking her in the eye again. He finds himself at the main lodge, eyeing the telephone booth that daunts him to call home. Use his Moms weepy hello’s as a distraction from the real thing that’s bothering him. Hear his father scold him or undermine him just with the hope he may finally say something nice. It isn’t worth it, it never was. That’s why he decided to call someone else.

“Overstreet residence” a woman’s voice fills the phone. Charlie is sure it’s Mrs. Overstreet but he doesn’t care to ask, he has only one mission in mind.

“Is Knox in?” he asks, hoping his voice doesn’t sound as desperate and sad as he thinks it does. He doesn’t need anymore pity.

“Let me find him” she says, followed by the clunk of her more than likely setting the phone down on the table. It’s not long until the rustle of it being picked back up fills Charlie’s ears.

“Knox Overstreet” his familiar friend says and Charlie can’t help the first real smile that cracks across his face as he hears this. No matter how sad he is.

“Hey Knoxie” Charlie says, and he wishes he could see his old friend. The way his shoulders probably loosen as he relaxes into the familiarity of it all. The recognition of hearing his voice.

“Charles, what a surprise” he says, his voice giving away the smile his friend wears. It’s crazy how easily he can still picture him.

“I know, I just wanted to reach out” even though it isn’t the truth. Charlie always wants to reach out but he also doesn’t want to be an inconvenience. Letters were more common than calls and even then he felt like a burden. Some pen pal they never asked for after he got kicked out of school.

“I’m so glad, it’s been too long. I wanna hear about all those Charlie Dalton adventures” and Charlie chuckles because he would love to tell him. Explain how he taught a rowing class each morning, discovered five different ways to get drunk at a party, learned games like beer pong, dirty danced, got a blow job next to a waterfall, and didn’t embarrass himself too bad water skiing. Yet none of it matters, now that it all blew up in his face.

“Not much of an adventure as you would think. A lot more working involved” Charlie tells him and Knox chuckles on the other end of the call. Unable to picture his old friend working.

“You’re Charlie, the most daring guy I know. You’ve probably climbed mountains and singlehandedly put out forest fires” and for a moment Charlie’s heart grows, the love for his friend expanding because of how much he believed in him. No matter how bad Charlie messed up his friends always saw the good.

“I wish that was the case, and instead I fell in love with a girl. Quite the adventurer” Charlie mutters, leaning against the phone booth and looking out to the bustle of people going about their camp day.

“Sounds like one to me. Especially since I figured you to use the opportunity to go through every girl at camp” Knox says and Charlie doesn’t even take offense because he knows it to be true. He was a ladies man, a lot like Nate, but what made him different was his ability to care. After all of this he learned he might actually care a little too much.

“I probably should have, considering I learned Valerie has hooked up with one of her friends. It’s almost funny how I could fall for a girl and get hurt by her doing something the old me would have done” Knox is silent as he takes what Charlie said into account. He realizes this was the reason for his call. A cry for help in a world so big and lonely. Comfort from his friend. Even if Charlie wouldn’t say it.

“Are you sure?” he asks, voice hushed from the way the words come out. Charlie shrugs even though the boy can’t see him, trying to keep his betrayal tears at bay.

“Heard if from the guy himself, in front of half our friend group might I add. She didn’t deny it either. The funny thing is I’m not even sure that’s what I’m sad about. I’m more disappointed in myself that I ever put myself in a position to get left by somebody I loved again” Charlie tells him and Knox’s face falls, wishing he was there for his friend who clearly still struggled. Experiencing loss so young had affected all of them but Charlie was Neil’s best friend. Then he was left to grieve all on his own.

“Charlie I’m so-“ but Charlie doesn’t give him a chance to apologize for something that isn’t his fault. In fact everything had been his fault. He should’ve never let Keating stop him from chasing Neil the day of the play. He should’ve never punched Cameron and get kicked out of school. He should’ve never let Valerie get close. So many times he ignored his gut instinct.

“It’s okay Knox. If I cried over every girl I came in contact with there’d be no more tears. I really didn’t mean to burden you with my problems” he tells him, regretting the call and wishing he had chosen his parents instead. At least the disappointment in their voices would’ve distracted him more.

“It’s okay to feel this way Charlie. I should’ve realized sooner how alone you must’ve felt” Knox says earnestly and Charlie freezes next to the receiver. Knox had seen through him so clearly and as much as he hated it, it made him miss his friends more.

“I’ll be okay Knox, I always have been” he tells him and Knox sighs, wishing there was something more he could do or say.

“You don’t have to be” is the last thing Knox tells him before Charlie hangs up the phone. He looks around, wondering if anyone else here can sense how sad he is. How broken and lost he had been for the last year and a half. Possibly for his entire life. Yet no one even looks his way and Charlie realizes he was maybe not as special as he once thought he was. As much as he tried to fight it he was just another preparatory school boy set off into the world to do what he had been trained his whole life to do.

“Hey man” Andy mutters when Charlie steps back into the cabin now with his dry clothes. Charlie nods his head in his direction, dropping the pile to the ground as he saunters to his bed.

“Hey” is all Charlie gives him as he lays against the sheets and wishes the entire world would swallow him whole. Andy offers a sad smile, feeling partially at fault for how his friend feels. He had been the one to tell him these things and put so many doubts in his head just to find they had been true. He set him up for defeat when in reality he was secretly rooting for him the whole time. It was nice to see Valerie so happy and even better watching his roommate come out of his shell.

“You have a good day?” Andy asks and Charlie thinks over all his pity party moments, the internal embarrassment, and wishing he drowned in that lake earlier.

“No” is all he says before pulling the blanket up and over his head and Andy pouts, turning to stare at the ceiling because he’s sure there is nothing he could say that would make his friend feel better.

“Goodnight” he tells him and the only answer he gets is Charlie shifting in the bed. Turning away and wallowing in self pity or maybe just sadness that had always been burrowed within him. It finally rising to the surface after spending so long suppressing it.

Yet for Valerie she’s experiencing that sadness for the first time, unsure what to with herself, staring at the campfire in front of her like it may provide an answer to all her problems. Levi sits across, watching her and unsure how to comfort his friend during this time and not be a problem. He has never seen her so happy, it wasn’t fair that it was his own actions that took this from her. Especially since he was the one who wanted it the most.

“It’ll be okay” he tells her in the quiet night air, fireflies flashing out in the trees surrounding them. Valerie pulls her blanket tighter, trying to ignore the fact that the two cabins behind her hold two people she had severely hurt.

“And if I don’t believe you?” she asks and Levi sighs, picking at the bark of the log he sits on, not knowing what else to tell her.

“You don’t have to believe me, you just have to trust me. Charlie will come to his senses, and Chrissy-” he’s not sure what to say, because he also didn’t understand the female relationship. Yet they both became pretty aware that what had happened was wrong. Especially when everyone knew how Chrissy had felt.

“Chrissy will never talk to me again” and it upsets her more than she ever thought it would. Perky blonde Chrissy who had annoyed her every summer. The very girl she rolled her eyes at when she saw her cabin assignment this year. Yet here she was, feeling like she lost something she never really understood.

“Things will change, time will pass, one day it’ll just be a story from summer camp” Levi counters but Valerie feels tears rim her eyes, the truth of his sentence hitting her in a way he didn’t intend.

“Then why does it feel like so much more?” she asks, voice wavering with her tears. She wanted it to be more. She needed it to be more. This was supposed to be her summer, the one she got to live without returning to a school where everyone judged her. She was free, excited for the future, and now it felt like everything she was excited for she had lost. The small promised amount of time with Charlie was gone and after camp season was over she was going to be alone in the real world. No Levi, no brothers, no Charlie, and she wasn’t ready to face it just yet.

“It’ll be okay” Levi reassures, knowing he was repeating himself, but wanting her to know it was still just as true. So she nods, letting the words wash over her, and trying not to let the panic seep in.

“I’ll be okay”

A/N: The canoe thing was inspired by Gale’s other film The Finest Hour, I always found the kiss to be so intimate. It also reminded me so much of my childhood and growing up on a lake. We would always flip the canoe and go under to tell each other our secrets. I wanted the same for Charlie and Valerie <3

Taglist: @eden-punk @octaviasdread @pursuedbyamemoryy @poetsinnyc @linmichea1

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

[peachdues]

sorry I’ve been MIA, it’s been a ✨week✨

I also lowkey was anxious this dumb app shadowbanned me for over-posting? Idk how that works, I’m just innately suspicious.

Anyways, as for writing updates.

Netherwood is chugging along, I just haven’t had time to sit down and write out the more substantive portions of Part III in a few days. My dad has surgery tomorrow, so I’m hoping to work some then, but unfortunately I do have to spend the weekend at the office (one of the downsides of being an attorney lmao).

The Great War is postponed, but hopefully will be done by December. I have a lot to do with part one still and I’m just not in the headspace to tackle it rn.

That said, I have been working on two other WIPs — The Bodyguard AU (Sanemi x Kyojuro x Reader) and Levi’s Bundle of Joy (since that will be much shorter than TGW lmao). I’ve also done a little work on Between Man & Star since the brain rot is real on that one.

Thank you guys for sticking with me!

🍑

[freakoutgirl]

(P.S. this isn't an invite to argue about who "counts" as a scream queen, just have fun)

[inu-mxki]

the only constant / levi ackerman x fem!reader

warnings: strong language

w/c: 2,848

a/n: been a little mia, but I’ve started watching aot for the third time so here we are!! hope you enjoy

Levi stares through the window of the borrowed room to the city streets below. Soldiers eagerly await news of the current mission, and although his face may not show it, Levi too felt the anticipation gnawing at him. There was so much at stake, and yet here he was, weak from his injury and lacking the energy to even pull gear over his head. He sighs deeply. Never has he felt so hopeless.

A knock at the door interrupted his thought process. Ah, yes. He wasn’t waiting here alone. Hange had instructed a member of their squad to stay behind, to keep Levi from making any rash decisions and to act as his sword if necessary. This soldier, who was now pushing open the door with her elbow, tray of tea in hand, didn’t even take a breath before answering her Section Commander’s wishes. Levi doesn’t remove his gaze from the window, although his mind was now anywhere but the happenings below. She hums as she places the tray down on the table, and he hears the soft sound of liquid hitting the bottom of a teacup. Hange wasn’t stupid, you see. They wouldn’t leave just anyone to watch over Humanities Strongest. Knowing he would protest and scald them for thinking he couldn’t hold his own even with an injury such as his, they chose carefully, wisely, and Levi had no objections, other than a disapproving huff for the Section Commander.  

“Tea, captain?” the woman asks softly, kindly, just as she always does, “I asked for your favorite, of course.”

Levi hums in agreement, and then with a quiet please, he hears her place a second cup and saucer down. Still, he doesn’t look in her direction. He finds himself getting lost sometimes, his eyes disobeying the command to turn the other way when it was her in his line of vision. Now he doesn’t trust himself, so instead keeps a steady watch on the restless soldiers below. The teacup comes into view as she places it delicately on the windowsill before him, saying “Drink it while it's hot, captain. You may need it.”

The woman’s name was Y/N Y/L/N, a fellow soldier Levi had known since his days as a cadet. She was a few years younger than him, but not by many, and a grown woman all her own. If it wasn’t for Hange taking an interest in her, Levi would have snatched her up way before Hange got the chance. But something held him back, something that eats at him whenever she’s near, and that was the main reason he hesitated in assigning her. That being said, she had remained a constant in his life, someone he had grown to trust outside of his line of work, mostly because she never gave up chipping away at his steely exterior.  

During their training days, she would beg him for help out of hours, despite knowing that being caught after curfew was punishable. He clearly remembers refusing to, but each morning in the mess hall she would be waiting to grab him once more. Eventually, he gave up, announcing he would only help her for one hour per week and that was all he was willing to do. He can still remember the way her eyes lit up, because even to this day, they still do – especially when the praise is falling from his lips.  

There was something about her that Levi couldn’t quite shake. Somehow, she had managed to make him give in back then, perhaps the only person to actually score a win against him, and that wasn’t the only time he’s been compelled to say yes. When she joined Hange’s ranks, he would see her most days around headquarters, and each time she would smile, stopping to ask how he was. And each time her eyes shone the same way they did all those years ago. He found himself getting a little lost in the shine of them, removing his gaze from her almost immediately. Y/N had been in his life so long, that he had become accustomed to her company, often choosing to sit by her during meal times and accepting her offer of tea when she came to see how he was in his office.  

It was always “How are you, captain? Do you need anything?”

Her visits were never to ask him for something, they were never for her own benefit, it was always just to check on him. At the beginning it had annoyed him, because for crying out loud, he’s a soldier not a child, but eventually it became routine. She would knock on the door, and the tea was already in her hands by the time he had opened it. He began inviting her in, listening to her talk about everything and nothing, and those times of peace became a ritual to Levi. It almost felt wrong when her knock didn’t echo throughout his office at the same time each week.  

But it wasn’t just tea and company, it was comfort when she could see through his brave face. Somehow, she could read his giveaways, and then the knock on his office door was much softer on those days. The night after his squad had died, the knock penetrated the silence of the room just after dark, and immediately he knew who it was. Anyone else and he would’ve told them to leave him be.  

“Captain,” she had whispered, tears rimming her pretty eyes as they looked into his solemn ones, “I just wanted to see you, I can leave if you wish to be alone.”

But he pulled up a chair beside him.

He told her how he felt.

How the guilt he felt for their death was almost unbearable since it was him who had chosen them. How, once again, his trusted comrades had left him, and now he was alone. Just as before.

It just poured out of him like water, and not a single word left her mouth. In fact, she barely made a move until he had been quiet for some time, and then he felt a steady hand on his shaking one.  

“I know it may not be much conciliation for you,” she said softly, so gentle, like the kiss of a feather against his skin, “but I will always be around to listen to you, captain.”  

But it was more than she could have ever imagined.  

And now she was sitting just behind him, sipping on tea and yet again not speaking because she knew that he didn’t wish to talk right now. No words had told her so, but she just understood him without having to ask, and that was something Levi treasured deeply. He had no idea how to spark a decent conversation. He turned slightly, seeing her from the corner of his eye as he placed the China cup between his lips. She hummed in satisfaction at the taste, and Levi, yet again, found himself looking for far too long.

“Good?” he questions quietly, and she nods.  

“Yes,” she answers sweetly, “is it okay for you, captain? If not, I can-”

“It’s perfect,” he cuts her off gently, taking another appreciative sip, “thank you.”

She smiles to herself, a little triumphantly. He finds the corner of his mouth twitching into something similar. Her eyes then meet his, and the smile only grows wider. His chest feels a little lighter when he can see her whole face, like everything going on outside the window is just a bad dream. Levi rises from his chair, but not before she rushes to her feet to help him. He offers a dismissive hand.

“Stay put,” he says softly, “I’m fine, honestly.”

He joins her at the table, just across from where she was sitting. She pushes forward a small plate of plain biscuits.

“You should eat something, captain,” she then says, “you need to build your strength back up. Not that I particularly think you’ve lost any.”

She laughs lightly. Levi has always found pleasure in the sound of her happiness, although it was a fact that he was willing to push down due to his nature. He simply didn’t have time to feel for someone. Caring that deeply for someone would only make his job harder; so, for the last many years, he has convinced himself that this woman was nothing special.  

He knows, really, how foolish that was.  

Because she was special, and sitting here, after losing so much in such a short time, he had been thinking long and hard through the glass pane of that window. He was wasting precious time with her, time that could be limited due to their jobs. He watches as she takes another sip, her painted fingernails, silky lips and soft, y/c/h hair. He wonders how she finds the time to look so elegant, but then again, he’s never known her to not look so. Even out in the field, he thinks she’s a stunning creature, and for the first time, he allows himself to believe it. He breaks the comfortable silence, pulling her from her own thoughts.

“We’ve known each other for quite some time, haven't we?”

When she looks up his eyes are pointed towards the teacup before him. She smiles yet again, a soft chuckle falling from her lips, and his gaze is drawn to her face.

“I’d say so,” she says, “but, in all honesty, sir, I wouldn’t be sitting before you if it wasn’t for your time and patience back then. I don’t think I’ve thanked you for a long while.”

“No need to,” he responds quickly, “I made the choice to help you, and now I’m glad I did. Made a fine soldier out of that little thing you once were, didn’t I?”

Her cheeks tint a subtle shade of pink, and her eyes are averted from his calm stare. She seems to have gone inside herself from that comment, and the little spark he suppresses in his chest seems to burn hotter upon the sight of it.  

“I owe you a lot, sir,” she then speaks quieter, still refusing to meet his eyes, “after losing so many people I often wonder if I should still be here-”

“Don’t,” he says firmly, and her head shoots up, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t used to his stern tone, but it never makes it any easier to hear, “you are here because you have earned to be. What I taught you back then wouldn’t save you now. You have learnt the hardships of battle on your own back. No one can teach you like sheer adrenaline in the face of death.”

The soft eyes he has come to know turn into glittering determination. The same look that made him give in all those years ago, and upon seeing her true will to keep fighting, he couldn't help but train such a promising young woman. The world needed a soul as strong as hers, not only for battle, but for the unlimited compassion she was able to give.  

“Thank you, sir.”

“And what's with the formalities all these years, hm?” he raises an eyebrow, “doesn't seem that long ago when you used to call me by my name.”

“Well, it just doesn’t feel right now, sir,” she goes on to say, fiddling with the handle of her teacup, “since you are my superior, we are no longer on equal footing. It would be wrong for me to address you so casually.”

“Equal footing, huh?” he repeats quietly, taking a sip of the tea that was now growing cold, “not sure how I feel about that sentiment.”

“But, sir-”

“Is it not you who has remained a constant in my life?” he interrupts, an air of utter seriousness about him, and she doesn’t dare to even move a muscle, “is it not you who graduated by my side in the cadets? Or you who has managed to, somehow, find a way into my personal space without repercussion?”

Still, she doesn’t move, but her eyes are full and staring at him, shining behind a glossing layer of tears. He takes a deep breath.

“What I'm trying to say is,” he then lowers his tone and leans slightly on the table to get closer to her. His eyes meet hers, and she sees the man she has always looked up to and, over the years, grown to love unconditionally, “this world has truly gone to shit, and a lot of people I care about are dead,” he cuts to the point, and ever so quietly, he hears a tiny whimper from her lips, “but you, you’re still here, bringing me tea like someone asked you to, listening to my whining, never turning away even though I’m a closed off bastard,” a light puff of air escapes her nose and the ghost of a smile curls at her soft looking lips, “and I’m grateful, eternally and wholeheartedly grateful.”

“Captain-”

“No,” he cuts her off, “not anymore. Say my name. Like you used to.”

Maybe it was selfish of him to ask that of her, but he was dying to hear it. A lot of time had gone and passed since she addressed him that way, and memories of her whinging and moaning when her muscles ached and the dragged-out Levi that would tumble from her mouth started flooding back.  

“Levi,” she then whispers, and the small spark that was gradually getting hotter and brighter in his chest erupts, sending a wave of warmth over his entire body.

“Y/N,” he then returns, and its soft, delicate, full of adoration. She smiles a watery smile, and then reaches out, but not before she awaits his consent. He finishes the job for her, taking her hand like it was made of glass and placing her palm against his cheek. He feels her thumb brush his face, and for a moment he lets go. He breathes out in content, closes his eyes and relishes in the touch of the woman he has come to cherish.  

And although it may never leave his mouth, he loved her.  

He loved her like he reads about in books, how the world seems happier, brighter, more vibrant and fruitful when the person you love is standing in it. How the bad times are just times that are bad, and they will pass, and left behind will be the one person who holds you up when your legs are too tired, when the world is cruel and the tunnel seems to drag on forever.

But he sees now. At the end of that tunnel, is her.

At the end of the treacherousness will be her.  

“Levi,” she sounds again, and he hums in response, almost like he’s falling asleep against her hand, “we should head back to the wagon soon.”

“Nah,” he whispers, “if they want me, they can come and get me.”

He doesn’t open his eyes, and he hears the most delightful giggle from her chest. He then feels her other hand touch his face, cupping it like he’s never done any wrong in the world. And, when he opens his eyes into hers, the look she gives him is the same. She looks at him like he’s never raised a blade, never stolen, hurt or deceived other people. Like he’s new again, and he realizes, she has always seen him that way. Right from the very beginning.  

All she has ever seen is a person.  

“Alright, then,” she says softly, “I’ll go and get more tea, and something more substantial for you to eat. I’ll be right back.”

She goes to move, but his hands take her wrists gently. If he lets go, will she return? Just like she has all these years. From the look on his face, she can tell he has begun to overthink, so quickly quells his anguish with a swift, precious kiss to his knuckles.

"Just a few moments,” she tells him, and then she’s gone, through the door with a soft click. He watches the doorway she left through, and for the first time in his entire life, his heart feels full and the weight he bares on his shoulders isn't so heavy.

Because she’s willing to carry half of it.

And as he turns to look back through the window to the outside world, it doesn’t seem so sullen anymore. The sun was shining down and casting shadows across the buildings, birds were chirping, the sound of a laughing soldier echos up through the glass panes, and he thinks to himself, as long as she remains the constant in his life, it doesn’t matter what's waiting over the brow of the hill, because wherever they are, near or apart, they will always find their way back to each other.

Like destined souls, fate keeps them together, and as he hears the door click back open, he prays that every time she leaves, he will hear her turn the handle in return.