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#i could not stand it ANY LONGER
grinchwrapsupreme · 1 year
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ef-1 · 3 months
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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plposting · 1 year
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After Azran Legacy Descole was left with a lot of clothes, personal items, and various souvenir trinkets left behind by the other former passengers of the Bostonious none of which was ever properly retrieved due to the groups sudden parting.
Rather than throwing it all out Descole has been trying to covertly return all items back to their original owners and because it’s Descole he’s probably returning the objects and whatnot in the most complicated way possible over a period of time.
Auroras stuff in particular remains safely stored in a box on the Bostonious.
#professor Layton#jean descole#desmond sycamore#gens musings#wowie headcanons :)#azran legacy#i was thinking about how everyone in the bostonious crew was suckered into buying one of those popono souvenirs#and how Des was ultimately left with a hoard of them because there's no way that anyone got to properly collect their stuff#before having to rush off to the Azran sanctuary#thoroughly amused by the thought of Des trying to offload some of this stuff for way longer than needbe bc hes trying to be sneaky about it#like maybe he could just throw it away but absolutely has this lingering sense of guilt especially with more of the personal items#that would've belonged to the various members that he would now have context for#like idk Des is just standing over the trash with like a teddy bear that Luke owns n he cant bring himself to properly toss it#and raymonds like why dont we just mail them back#n des is like “akshdkajshdkjahsdkhasdk its stupud little beady little eyes have won this encounter- u win this time sir cuddles-”#“had i not known the context of your origins you would have been in a landfill by now”#wonder if emmy wouldve gotten any photos developed on their trip bc oooh the evil thought of des having to review them b4 sending them back#I think there was no attempt to toss auroras stuff at any point i think the guilt would actually kill him#most of her stuff would just comprised of souvenirs gained over the trip#HELP HELP HELP I ELABORATED TOO MUCH IN THE TAGS SORRY
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chocmuffinsscones · 6 months
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BKDK endgame theory
Another highly self-indulgent theory on how bkdk's gonna be endgame canonically
Disclaimer: Since I don't wanna jinx it or feel embarrassed for being so brazen about this mere silly thought of mine, I'll just keep this private until if things similar to what I've predicted became true. Otherwise, this will only be for my eyes alone. - edited 6 Nov 2023
Fuck all of that guess I'm just gonna put it out there and let y'all have fun as I embarrass myself. Just think it's all for lolz if none of these happen, at least I have fun writing to indulge my fantasy - edited 8 Nov 2023
So, what I think is that since hori's gonna keep giving us surprises and +u up his own game, my guess is that to clearly and subtly lock the pair without making it feel forced is to make bkdk make a promise to each other that hinted a lifelong warrant. Refer this to what toga said in her arc
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It's not exactly a love confession, but what'll you feel if someone promise to dedicate their whole life in making you feel happiness, loved? I think that's love disguise in a glass case
So, how's this gonna parallel to our favourite dorks who're both so emotionally constipated and verbally poor at confessing?
Me thinks that, apparently when the boys were pushed to the extremes -- to the moment when there's literally no time affordable to think of anything else besides the most important thing they hold in their life, that the moment their body has to move on their own by instincts -- we'll finally get to see, bright as day, where their true feelings lay.
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As far as we've seen, it has been clearly revealed (except for those who're illiterate or in a dilemma of spiralling denial) that on katsuki's side, Izuku's the one constantly haunting his head for the rest of his 10+ years. He'd jump into battle with him, rush in front of him to avert the blow, fight in pain to stay relevant in izuku's battle -- to the point of fighting to his death to protect his seniors and to yet remain as izuku's image of victory... all these, to atone his mistakes in mistreating Izuku.
Throughout his character growth, Katsuki had been to the extremes. What are the most extreme situations if not death itself?
After that, however, we see katsuki came back with his heart fully open (pun definitely not intended!), feelings more outwardly shown, saying thanks sincerely without hiding behind his explosive demeanor, smiling straightforwardly at his favourite idol AM 🥺
Katsuki had met his breaking point, met death itself, and came back a new man. A man who wanted to change before everything was too late. As soon as he woke up, he didn't waste time hesitating to allow further regrets, showing gratitude and humility whole-heartedly in any instant he should've done like any decent human being would.
Except, there's still one thing he hadn't yet achieve to reach a complete circle for his narrative.
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Pre-war, Katsuki's biggest dread, the constant looming threat choking around his neck, was being unable to be honest and sincere to Izuku.
"But wait! He'd already stated his apology, he has no regrets left!"
Well, if you have that complain, you're not understanding katsuki well enough. Katsuki is a man of action more than his words. It's quite a common habit for Asians too to put more thoughts into action rather than just spewing beautiful words. And Katsuki, through and through, was an all-in-or-nothing kind of guy. He would never stop at just apologising. If his prior intention for reconciliation was to make himself feel better, then the integrity behind his actions and words was nullified, since that would undoubtedly negate the whole building up of his character's motivation. Moreover, it would become a huge flaw in horikoshi's writing as that would depict him in a "fake hero" spotlight as well as contradict the character's self incentive to be the bestest hero there is. I wouldn't bet hori would decide to ruin his writing like this. In fact, this is such a huge plot point for katsuki's character development that such a small blunder at this point would greatly affect the whole endgame story dynamic to his readers. Not that he'd care if he really did chose that path... I mean 🤷🏻‍♀️😬
Anyway, personality-wise, I'd say Katsuki would be the first person to hate that particular kind of people if he sees one. He'd definitely be disgusted of himself if he were one. That's why I wouldn't bet hori will make that blunder, because hori had been writing him as an incessantly growing character, relentlessly pushing his limits to be the best and always showed his results through visible actions.
So then, back to the point, what were left to do if he had already apologised? What more does he need to do then to further compensate?
:) As I've mentioned earlier, nothing beats the offer of a lifelong compensation, of devoting one's own time and energy willingly to the other as long as they need, or provide care and attention whenever they deserve.
"Wait. What does that even sound like tho? Doesn't that seem like a huge burden to bear??"
For Katsuki however, it's as per usual: all in or nothing!
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A promise that hinted lifelong devotion though... That truly sounds like a heavy dedication to carry for the rest of one's life. Doesn't that kind of vow ring any bells? That's the only conclusion I could come to unfortunately. Because Katsuki is a perfectionist, he'll never aim at only atoning his mistakes for a "measly" 10-20 years.
But then, at what kind of situation he would promise a life-binding oath like that out of the ordinary?? Knowing our boys, there's no way they would open their ironclad mouths to say something as romantic as that out of the blue, right??
So here comes my prediction❗❗
📢 warning: take everything below with a grain of salt because at this point it's just me wildin' haha
Evidently, it's been awhile we're constantly warned about Izuku's lack-of-oxygen crisis. He was still fighting sAFO alone while Katsuki came back to focus on AFO himself.
There's a few ways things could go south from there. Afo could very well be dealt by Katsuki now with extra buffs(his new cluster moves), but Izuku was still in an unknown critical state. So while Katsuki busied himself distracting afo, Izuku could somehow got sucked into sAFO's vestige space in a moment's hesitation (or something happened that sucked him into vestige space). We might finally get our vestige space fight between Izuku and tenko & OFA vs AFO, or we could get a heartwarming talk no jutsu (as well as some sprinkle of action fights) between Izuku and Tenko. And all of these played out without the involvement of Katsuki -- as he's stuck in the physical world and is still dealing a rampaging afo. The dudebros would be happy about this. Finally they had a chance to laugh at us at being clowns for wanting katsuki's involvement in the vestige fight. But remember, hori is a troll through and through. He could troll us, he could troll the dudebros too. It's our temporary loss for not getting Katsuki fight beside izuku in afo vestige space, but we'll have something better later!
Because while all of those happen in the vestige space, apparently Tomura and Izuku's body will be out of it, falling to the ground and seemingly lifeless, out of consciousness to the eye of the people in the physical world.
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I can imagine Katsuki having no time to spare while dealing with Afo as this happen. He's got to finish AFO first to get back to Izuku. And I promise you it'll not take too long for him to do that, 'cause it'll be a combo attack from IN and OUT as Izuku counter both Afo and tenko in the vestige space -- but it'll feel a bit longer in Izuku's pov as timeflow seems to be slightly different in there.
Anyhow, as Katsuki was done with afo, what do you think he'll react then when he reached a passed out Izuku? When he arrived to the scene of Izuku and Tenko on the ground, Izuku probably temporarily *not breathing* and motionless. *not breathing due to the setback of gearshift
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Katsuki will be shocked and traumatized. After spilling his heart out to win AFO with/for izuku, how could he stand to win the battle if Izuku wasn't there to claim victory alongside him? He would hold Izuku's hand and kept calling out to him (maybe angrily or threatening but the words are sweet and all of it are very contrasting?👀), calling for his soul to come back. Surely he would start crying and confess all his regrets even more too. *reminder: these are only possible because all his walls were finally broken down after his revival, he's a changed man in and out.*
Then, even better! When the medic units and probably some other heroes arrived to the scene, Katsuki suddenly realised he could give Izuku cpr! He'll do it himself and think it'll work since he learnt it from emergency treating lessons, and he didn't want Izuku to leave his side but also didn't want to do nothing to help Izuku recover.
See? Plus Ultra. Katsuki giving Izuku cpr y'all. Bkdk won. All these too in front of some witnesses and recording cameras. :)
And, yeah, cuz hori is a troll, katsuki's kiss of life actually wasn't the *sole* reason Izuku came to (all for the ambiguity too, ya know ;) and besides, hori likes trolling Katsuki too, not allowing him to get what he wants)-- it was all Izuku's well-deserved victory on defeating afo and saving tenko from the vestige space that allowed him to return to his own body after the vestige world close up. In fact, Izuku didn't actually need it, he was merely away from his body to fight in the vestige space for a bit; if he won, he would eventually come back and wake up by himself, the problem of hypoxia naturally dissolved along with it.
In another words, the "kiss" was just a bonus. It's a heartfelt gift from hori-sensei to his bkdk/grateful manga readers. Because in the end of the day, it's the promise between Izuku and Katsuki that wrapped the deal of bkdk being endgame canonically. For Hori, it's a win-win situation; he could have fun building suspense over his readers, as well as finally letting his favourite boys earn their long overdue peace to be together. Also, completing both protagonist and deuteragonist narrative foil as save to win, win to save. AND not making the whole scene romantically charged, as the reason behind their actions aren't out of sexual desire nor sexual attraction, since tHis Is sTilL JusT a shOuNen mAnGa afterall. Just "bros" devoting their life to each other and occasionally hold hands to get comfortable of each other's touch because they're practicing their next combo move. 😀
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fictionadventurer · 2 months
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NaPoWriMo #3: A surreal prose poem
I've interpreted "surreal" as "involving fantasy", and I have no idea if this even counts as a prose poem, but I decided to retell a fairy tale.
Diamonds and Toads
Her words change my words—no longer dust, swept aside and trampled, but diamonds, precious and unbreakable. Jewels falling, flashing, catching light in sharp glints of glory, my breath’s bounty leaving me breathless. My words are a treasure; I must guard and spend well.
The witch! Now every word I speak comes out croaking, hissing, slimy, slithering, hopping. Sour, salty, sharp, bitter words I must swallow back, or be overrun by monsters of my making. Single words are all I dare. My words have a life of their own; I must watch where they fall.
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exinewine · 11 months
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I keep hearing all these theories about how Koschei is controlling Vassa, and she's evil and she's using Lucien by giving him a fake mating bond. And I honestly can't comprehend why SJM would continue to use Lucien as a bargaining chip to advance other characters storylines or relationships. Like FOR WHAT?! I'm sure SJM can find another way to get to the same conclusion without involving him. Please let the poor guy live his life in peace.
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accursedvoid · 24 days
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Not me listening to ‘No Longer You’ and thinking about how the latter half could parallel Anakin/Vader….
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Sorry about the theater of emotions going on my face from across the room. I'm trying to resolve an argument that I made up between two fictional characters.
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saturatedsinset · 6 months
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cookie time :-)
this makes me really sentimental because it is a representation of cooking as an act of love, and of cooking as a chain of love
this is the same recipe my mom used to make for me and my sister growing up - she'd make the dough, and we'd cut them out with our million and one cookie cutters, and then she'd make cream cheese frosting in a variety of colors and we'd have a cookie decorating day.
my mom got the recipe from the day care me and my sister went to as a baby - in our family cookbook (it's more of a compilation of all the recipes we use fairly regularly and enjoy; my dad put it together and he updates it every so often. I actually made my first independent contribution to the cookbook this year, when I made chana masala for my family and he asked where I found the recipe so I could add it to the cookbook) (it was bbc good food) the recipe is still titled after that day care.
and now I get to make it for Lucy and their family, my new family. I get to show them what I love so much about food.
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aro-culture-is · 2 years
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Aro culture is listening to that little training video at work, that everyone has to take; and sees that it about respecting the LBGTQIA+ community; and then it brings up ally’s for the ‘A’ and nothing else.
Excuse me, but no! It’s for the ace, aro, and/or agender community!!
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blade gunnblade !!!!!!!!
via eliza simpson:
There are no words for this true warrior. They kill me. MMM: went in for a post show hug. Me:"ow!" Asia: "oh sorry, that's my bullet necklace." 😳........ 😍
#blade gunnblade#asia kate dillon#kapow-i gogo#eliza simpson of [angel & others in the mysteries] & [the mother line story project] & [saw ak dillon in triptych yes we're jealous]#& [princess cloudberry in kapow-i gogo]#here we also see stephen stout in the 1st pic but going ''!! surely our dear cherished blade gunnblade's back. hair's long though hmm''#only to have that cleared up by the 3rd pic thank god =']#i guess at some point blade gunnblade has blue hair & i do love that for them#i believe they're in part 3 but i have all the less information about that plausible appearance#(and of course still no info on [asia perhaps doubling roles with the longer black haired wig & ultracorp jacket in that one pic?])#one thing that would be fascinating & fun is if part 3 blade has more of part 1 kapow-i's look. the bright blue hair#looks like pink lipstick. Pure Speculation but i know the like [this is reaction to You Know How Media Is] element discussed like#part 1 thinking most [sat. morning cartoons experience; the legend of] part 2 is like when these series get sequels or just some#ep or turning point that upends its own previous established conventions. Darker more Serious / Mature Themes etc#part 3 like well sequel to That which adds yet another layer of the same factor there lol#i'm not really that versed in All This Media directly b/c i'm not that versed in / familiar with much of any media directly but#i am also not completely at sea & also one thing i could think of is like. blade is our revenge vengeance tragic anti antagonist lmao#what if after that they get to lighten up in delightful contrast to the torment & tragedy. turn more optimistic moral support bestie etc#but like i said utter speculation based on ''oh this is a look they have?'' & comments on [comments on material commenting on itself] so#could be anything! or nothing! except that it's Something enough to have been photographed a couple of times. thank god#oh hang on also we can see that that's stephen stout's character in the pic of Wearing A Black Longer Haired Wig & Ultracorp Jacket#who's to say it isn't also: yes that's blade disguised or something. underneath they have this bright blue shorter wig & Blade Outfit lol#i would cheer for that. compelling#(also noting that it didn't preclude a doubling of roles instead but; that figure Is wearing blade's necklace. makes it easy to switch to#Blade Mode backstage; makes it easy to switch to Blade Mode onstage....)#which: noted! bullet necklace! makes sense lmao. sort of#also pic 2 ft. director kristin mccarthy parker fyi. and the typical blade hair length i.e. simply asia's own.#''😳........ 😍'' soooooo true ''MMM:'' standing for ''most memorable moment:'' and also sooooo true as well#blade gunnblade is everything to me. if they died in part 3 i'm blowing this whole building up. they have bright blue hair now
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eisthenameofme · 2 months
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I do kind of like the idea of Armand having Monster gender dysphoria
Like there's the whole thing about Vampire As Gender (there's some quotes he has about gender that are relevant to this but i'm not looking them up now). And iirc he doesn't like being refered to as angelic (maybe also having 'prettiness' emphasised, i don't remember clearly) but he doesn't like. Actually seem to take issue with being seen as beautiful in and of itself so much as being seen as like. Saintly/angelic/good/being put on a moral pedestal and he seems to like when daniel is Into The Monstrosity and not mind when he sees him as beautiful otherwise.
Welcome to my poorly researched ted talk powerpoint presentation-
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aspeckof-stardust · 3 months
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usagimen · 6 months
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         Still thinking of BG3 Sayuri who comes from a notorious family that is essentially murder for hire. They are known primarily as entertainers, actors, even dancers to camouflage their real intentions. Though have been notorious in knocking down high political figures, socialites, esteemed members of the city making them middlemen of the sort. None can confirm or deny it, though she learned quickly at the age of eight either to adapt to the world around her or be swallowed by it. She generally seems uncomfortable once approaching closer to the city knowing her family will be watching their runaway with intense eyes.
       Even if she was apart of academia for sometime, they never let her stray too far, often humorously joking amongst their social circle her curse is that of freedom, she cannot see anything but an endless horizon to obtain. It’s common in such families for children to squabble against each other, her infamous scar was obtained at the age of seventeen when a rival bard clashed against her, she doesn’t seem to mind discussing it but hints she didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Indicating strongly she feels remorse, if anything, she seems to genuinely hint her time dazzling crowds or amongst her peers was the most happiest. There are also rumors she withdrew immensely after the death of a lover which she neither confirms nor denies. Due to being a high elf, she can be arrogant with profound insight on the arcane though she much rather speaks poetry nor does she rely too heavily on magic.
        Knives, crossbows, arrows, they seem to be a constant in her arsenal but if left to her own devices she will fight purely with hands alone. There is no doubt, despite everything or her rather sordid background, Sayuri is a tremendous performer who was dearly loved; she is affectionately named nightingale by the residents of Baldur’s Gate. Her monochrome style is contrasted to the actual hues she wears when performing, if she is romanced or a high affiliation is reached, she will discard black && white hues for pale blues or sapphires to represent her summer like nature.   
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ilostyou · 6 months
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dash: cleansed
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ghostsinthecellar · 9 months
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