#i couldnt make myself do anything other than sit there. tried to eat and couldnt really

[lifeisamaze]

Sitting in the airport for hours yesterday, talked a lot to C and somehow she made me realized, every people could only love one person in their live. And somehow, people also can get married to someone without love. They may seem happy to us, but what they feel inside, we will never know. Amazed by how she managed to go this far even she had to go to counselor, attend hypnotherapy, be able to hold back the feeling she had for the love of her life and try to just be present, every. single. day.

She was once wounded by the love of her life, having terrible breakdown then current husband came in. Three of them were best friends but of course, current husband held back his feeling back then. When the chance came, he got in and for someone who is under lot of stress, she tried to accept him. Then when the pressure to get married came from her mom, with unstable mind and no second consideration, she asked her current husband, do you want to get married? And it happened just like that.

And now she confessed that even after 2kids, she couldnt love him. She couldnt sleep well when he Cuddled her, having sex also not that fun and pleasurable. Worst of the worst, she is the one who earned the money for their family. Her top consideration on him is he is not a playboy. The trauma is real. She mentioned that she prefer this kind of life rather than live in insecurity with his ex.

Then she asked me, 'how you both ended up being together? I remembered you had one bf for a long time.' Out of nowhere, the answers slide out without hesitation. ' it was easy for me, i guess i have no love for Gil, no strong bond. And when Dri came in, i let Gil go. We were best friends for years so it is easy for us to connect. I know how much he loves his ex and his heartbreak damaged him a lot. So when he saw me there, an available complete package for him, whats not to like? The same thing to me, Dri was the best package of all, i feel secured so i chose him. Then we both get married. Even until now, we were just like best friend living in the same house under the title husband and wife. We rarely talk, we have our own endless me time, sex is okay, above average, but other than that we're just living together under the same house. I can feel he has that one Love only for his ex ' such long paragraphs easily came out of my mouth. C said she can relate and recall everything back then. She met his ex recently and she still addressed herself, 'dri's ex' to remind C of her.

I told Dri about my convo with C, about his pure love for his ex, his reaction was, 'si sua kong' he didnt even try to defend himself by stating he love me more or anything. He just stop talking. and about she mentioned herself as his ex, he smiled. Then today, he posted my pics on his ig, then told me, i posted your pic, so you dont think that i don't love you' . Action Speaks Louder than words. His first reaction showed me all. I don't need an extra gesture to show me how someone feel for me. I'm not falling for that. And it is funny how i don't feel troubled, angry or sad for it. Maybe it is true, our relationship was never based on love. we just clicked and complete each other as spouse.

C then continue, 'someone asked me,if Ben ever asked me to get back together, will you reconsider? Surprisingly, i thought about it. Maybe i love him that much. ' then random thoughts popped out of my mind. Who in the world i love that much? It is neither Gil nor Dri. Is it even J?

From that long convo, i can relate on her situation. Pity on her, but looking at myself , i guess i am on the same boat as her. She said, 'i have chosen this path and i have to walk on it' and that's what i thought too all this time. Nasi sudah jadi bubur. You got to eat it, or you ended up starving waiting for another nasi to be cooked.

And it makes us both wonder, who in the hell in this world, marry someone who they truly love? We all in search for security as we mature. And we thought, love can be build after. But who knows, that love never grow and we live based on adaptation and adjustment through years. Kids and comforts are the only things that bound us together.

What a life 🫶

[steampoweredskeleton]

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Ignore

[mtfstuff]

Detective Mark

It was largely a standard mission. To infiltrate and arrest criminals and drug dealers. Not a big thing.

The problem is that they've managed to get their hands on one of those body possession machines. Thats how they managed to get out of prison. According to the latest report, they have taken teenagers in possession. After that mission everything changed, but let me tell you about it from the start.

I was making myself something to eat as my boss walked in to talk to me.

"I got a new mission for you, Mark. Top secret, if you agree to do it.", he said.

"I'm listening. What should I do?", I answered.

"Criminals escaped the prison. Kenny Miller and Dan Schwarz. You know them?"

"Of course. I was the one who brought them behind bars. How did they escape?"

"Body possession. They got two guards which we later found unconscious 2 miles next to the prison."

"And my mission is to arrest them?"

"Roughly, yes. According to our latest reports they've managed to possess bodies of teenagers on a high school to start selling drugs again."

Now I knew what he wanted.

"I wont do that. You know I'm not into that.", I said.

"Top secret,  remember Mark. You're in.", he answered with a grin.

I let out a deep breath.

"Who will I take over?", I asked.

"The adoptive son of my dead sister.  He goes to the same school and was friends with the possessed victims. He is ready, so if you could follow me."

My boss walks away and I follow him through a door into the next room. The machine took almost the entire space of the room and by the looks of it, it was ready to use.

In front of it was a young guy, probably my new body. He turns around to reveal his thick glasses. He has to be almost blind without them, I thought.

"Hi, I'm Eric.", he said reaching forward to shake my hand. I felt how he checked me out. How he glanced at my arms, my beard and my boots.

I shook his hand.

"I'm Mark. I'll be the one you're swapping bodies with.", I said.

I saw how his eyes lightened up until my boss started talking.

"Not really.", he said. "As Mark needs your knowledge about the school Eric, we'll place his consciousness over yours."

"So we'll be two guys in one body?", I asked.

"Correct.", he answered.

Eric and I sit down at the opposite ends of the machine. Arms, legs and head are tied to the machine. We both give the sign that we are ready. I close my eyes and count to 3. As I open them again, everything looks blurry.

"I cant see shit!", I said with a high pitched voice.

Cant wait to have my body back soon, this body is not made for a man like me, I thought.

I'm sorry that you dont like my body but you agreed to do this mission, I heard the high pitched voice in my head. Erics voice.

Off to a great start, didnt know we could hear each others thoughts, I thought. This time Eric stayed quiet.

Someone put myself glasses on. We got untied and I stood up. It was weird to control such a lean body. I looked over to my real body, laying unconscious in the seat. I missed it already but that it was unconscious was better than someone else walking around as me. Last time I switched bodies for work it was with a 70 year old man. My body was sticky when I got it back and my bathroom and some of my clothes were full with cum. So disgusting to think of someone jerking off in my body. Especially when it was a 70 year old.

In the evening I got driven to the school where I should arrest Kenny and Dan.

Two days later I finished the mission and got driven back to the police station. I entered the room with the machine again and saw my old body still laying there as if it wasnt moved. I was so happy to see it again. I sat down on the seat, closed my eyes and counted to 3. I felt my real body again. The warm leather jacket, my tight pants and shirt on my muscles. I wiggled my toes in my leather boots. It felt so great not wearing those Chucks anymore.

I opened my eyes to see that I was still tied to the machine.

"You can untie me now, guys.", I said. It was so great to hear my deep voice again.

Only now I noticed that something wasnt right. The only person with me and Eric in the room was my boss. Normally, multiple people would operate the machine.

I looked at my boss who was talking to Eric. Both whispered.

"Is everything alright?", I asked.

Both of them looked at me and Eric chuckled.

"My nephew said that you were quiet cocky in his body. You made nasty remarks about his clothes, his looks and so on. As compensation, he'll use your body for some time", my boss said.

I was shocked. I never thought something like this would happen.

"Wait, no. This is not true!", I shouted. "I never said something like this."

But it was to late. My boss pressed the button again and I felt how Erics soul entered my body. It was a cold feeling, causing me to shiver. I tried to push him back into his own body but through the help of the machine he overpowered me. I felt how I lost control of my limbs, my muscular body.

Its a pleasure to use this body, I heard Erics voice in my head.

My boss looked at me with a dark grin as he said:"Codename."

"Exodus", I heard myself answer.

"Good it worked.", my boss said as he untied my body.

I had no control over my body as it stood up and my arms started to touch my body. Eric took off my leather jacket and sniffed it. He let out a moan and grabbed my dick. I felt how my dick raised and I couldnt do anything.

"You have 30 minutes for yourself in the bathroom. Here are some clothes we took from his home.", my boss said as he took out a black sportsbag. He opened it to give us a look.

"I see you in 35 minutes in my bureau, Mark.", he said leaving the room.

Eric grabbed the bag and went through the other door into the bathroom. We were alone.

He started to sniff my sweaty armpits and to lick my biceps. He rubbed my cock in my jeans while flexing my muscles in the mirror.

I felt how pre-cum started to drip into my jockstrap and I couldnt do anything against it.

Eric opened my belt and took my dick out of my jockstrap. He wanked it off but he didnt manage to shoot my load. He wanked so hard that he started to stumble. He looked down at my feet. At my black leather boots.

I always wanted to wear boots like this, even though I have to learn how to properly walk in them, his thoughts said.

Eric sat down on a toilet seat and pulled both boots off. He wiggled with my toes in my gold toe socks as he raised the first boot to my nose and put my dick into the second. I could smell the warm, worn leather and the sweat and I felt how that turned Eric on.

I felt how he pressed the top of my dick against the sole of my boot right as my body shot my first load. Eric opened my mouth and let out a loud moan. I was deeply embarrassed.

He switched boots so that I could smell the sweet cum inside my boot which caused me to shoot my second load right into my other boot.

He took off my Red shirt and wrapped it around my dick.

"Watch this.", he said.

He put both boots, with the cum inside, back on. I felt how my socks started to soak it up, it felt disgusting. Like wet socks. But this caused me to shoot my last load and probably the biggest I've ever had into my shirt.

Satisfied with what he did he looked at my watch.

10 minutes left. Time to dress up again, he thought.

He took my jockstrap and my pants off while walking back to the bag.

He looked inside and took a black jeans, jockstrap and a blue shirt out. He put the shirt on, letting my fingertips glide over my abs. He lifted my booted foot to put on my new jockstrap when I heard his thoughts. I dont need this, the jeans will feel great too. So he grabbed my black jeans and put it on. He put on my belt, my gun and my badge. At last he lifted my leather jacket from the bag, sniffed it one last time and put it on. He stuffed the old clothes into the bag and left the bathroom.

He walked into the bureau of my boss.

"Looking good, my son.", my boss said.

"Mark. We're not alone.", Eric answered. He crossed his arms. "What now?"

"First, we just got called to a crime scene. Ready up, we're driving in 5 minutes." He made a sign to come closer and Eric walked around the desk to stand next to him.

"After that, we'll test that body to the max at home.", my boss whispered.

"Sounds good.", Eric answered.

The whole trip to the crime scene was torture. I had to see Erics thoughts about my naked body and the one of my boss. So gross. He also looked through my memories. I tried to stop him but I was too weak.

Arriving at the crime scene I felt how my heart started to beat faster. Eric was nervously looking through my memories how to act as me. I didnt bother to stop him as I got weaker every time I tried and as I had to think about what gruesome night stood before me. I had to make peace that he will be me forever.

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This story as a commission from a friend.

[saturnsstufff]

Mmm domestic hell bliss

Also I too can hear sing to me for techno sat drop the playlist

Also

Jackie and Wilson

“She gonna save me, call me baby

Run her hands through my hair

She’ll know me crazy, sooth me daily

Better yet, she wouldn’t care”

You were perfect to him, you never judged him for the voices. And oh how they loved you. He had told Phil about it once and he had jokes about how they loved you more then he did. You understood his violence and for that he would love you forever

-hemlock

AHHH OK OK OK I DONT KNOW WHY BUT I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS ALL (its all typed on my phone, tomarrow ill crop it and revise it. Deepest apologies!)

Technoblade- Sing To Me (MISSO)

Warnings: violence

Talking to the mirror like I've seen him somewhere before

He said I look familiar, did we meet the other night?

Somebody once told me that there's two sides to life, what's yours?

Technoblade stood looking into the Mirrior, his all to familiar face staring back at him with casual eyes. Yet somthing within him knew there was somthing swimming with need. As of lately the voices had been driving him wild. So much so that he had Phil relocate you to L'amanburg until the phase ended. He hated to admit it, but he was truly terrified he would hurt you.

Phil offered his words of reassurance, but nothing seemed to calm the fear within his stomach- eating, and pecking away at himself.

The voices loved you, they always have. Thats why it terrified tech when a few voices made violent comments twords you. Nothing Techno would ever dream of doing to you.

I might have accidentally let the darkness eat the light And that's why

I prayed, I prayed, God sent me right to voicemail

It's like, all day my vanity is for sale

Take it away, my head is in my own hell

All he could do was lean on the sink. His face dripping with the now cold water he washed his face with. He somehow felt like splashing water on himself would make everything better. But he was mistaken...

With calloused hands he gripped at his head, the voices starting up again. The blood they craved, he had nothing for it. Nothing to offer to apease them. All he could do is sit and listen to their greedy cries.

Sing to me, I am not doing well

Getting tired of my own words

Sing to me 'cause I can't hear myself

Through the loudness of my own hurts

Call me selfish when I say this, say this

I'm kinda helpless, and I need you

Sing to me 'cause I'm not doing well

With a surge of unknown anger he couldnt help himself when his fist rose and punched through the glass. Shattering the bathroom mirrior. His eyes flaring with a brute gaze. Somthing he often tried to hide.

Was he angry at the voices? Was he angry because the thoughts wanted to harm you? Or was he angry because you were the only one that could calm them, and you were not here.

Glancing down at the shattered glass left a distaste in his mouth. You would raise hell on him for breaking it... or would you? Would you understand?

Somehow I got nominated as a king of sadness

Got so much I know that I could even feed the birds

And that's why

The memory of your hurt face came into mind. You had begged him to oet you stay. All you wanted to do was help him. Help him through the violent struggle. Yet he pushed you out "for your safety".

He wouldn't admit it. But he longed to feel your soft hands on his cheeks. Holding his face, telling him it will all be ok. He wanted that more than anything. More than anything.

He couldnt help the little tears that welled up and fell. He missed you, he missed your kindness, your soft loving heart. The heart that beat for him.

I prayed, I prayed, God sent me right to voicemail

It's like, all day my vanity is for sale

Take it away, my head is in my own hell

Thinking of you only made the voices rise up more. Many of them chanting for you to be brought home. Brought back into his arms. Somewhere you were always safe.

The cuts he now adorned on his hands from the glass stung with realism. Reminding him he was still within the moment. They almost stung as much as his heart did. He wished for you to take his hands and tend to them like you would do after every battle. You made everything better. Everything.

Sing to me, I am not doing well

Getting tired of my own words

Sing to me 'cause I can't hear myself

Through the loudness of my own hurts

Call me selfish when I say this, say this

I'm kinda helpless, and I need you

Sing to me 'cause I'm not doing well

His eyes met his own in the shattered peices scattering the floor. With almost a silent agreement he knew...

Come morning, he would be bringing you home.

[notgalaxii]

How about... how do the brothers act around their crush?

This one was super sweet to write I- I love them 👉👈. Thank you for the ask! I hope you enjoy 🤞💕✨

Pride

Lucifers crush is the absolute hardest to tell

To the untrained eyes and ears, it seems like he's just being himself, but to those who are close to him, it's a little obvious

Lucifer tends to be more caring in a loving way than in a strict, "do what I say" manner

It's less of "Go to bed so you can go to school and not disappoint Diavolo" and more of "Get some rest, it's not healthy for you to stay up so late."

He also tends to be a little more expressive near his crush

Lucifer's signature knowing smirk twists up a little higher, and his eyes glimmer with not only pride but a bit of satisfaction and compassion around them.

He makes sure to give them small compliments

Typically his pride wouldn't allow him to endorse others, but with them, oooh boy

He will let them know how they look ravishing in such a nonchalant way; it seems like it's nothing

But to him, it could be everything

Bonus: He stood up to Diavolo once for his crush. Sort of.

Diavolo had given them a list of tasks to do and Lucifer felt like it was a bit much

"My lord, do you really believe that some of these are the best idea?"

It wasn't much but lets just say that Satan and Mammon were near by and their jaws hit the floor.

Greed

A mess. He acts like an absolute MESS around them

When he's just walking down the hall, he's composed. All of a sudden, his crush walks by him and awakens this sense of "I must embarrass myself at all times around this person and then punch myself about it later."

He hypes himself up around his crush

"Hah, of course the GREAT MAMMON can open this jar for you! Bow down, little human. Revel in my strength!!" he struggles to open it a little as well

In more serious and personal moments, Mammon is very sweet

As sweet as he can get when he's still trying to aggressively deny ANY sort of feelings

"Don't ever doubt yourself. You're my human, which means you kick ass. I wouldn't pick a human that WASN'T a total badass. N-not that I particularly picked you out of a crowd- YOU FORCED ME INTO THIS."

Bonus: If Mammon has a touchy crush, he would absolutely melt into their hands as he aggressively blushes at them

They'd get close enough to play with his hair and he'd be jelly on the floor

Would get super sad if they left and forgot their hug because he got used to oh how soft they were

Envy

Leviathan tries the absolute hardest to hide it

Unless you count Mammon but come on, is he really trying?

Leviathan's biggest tell would be that he tries to share his otaku passions with his crush

Because if he likes them, they've gotta be into that kinda stuff, right!? They're definitely not a normie and would absolutely LOVE his Manga collection

Would play it off nearly as tsundere-esque as Mammon

"I've decided that you're really nice to me, so I'm going to let you come over today and play video games with me. I have a super special raid spot saved for the two of us!!"

He tries pretty hard to impress them with his vast knowledge on obscure animes and idols

Levi would be at his crush's beck and call

"I saw you called me, I was in a dungeon but I tried to finish it as fast as I could!! What did you need~?"

Definitely a blush-a-tron 3000

All of his crushes are anime characters! How does he deal with someone he likes IN REAL LIFE!?

I'll tell you how, he sticks his hand over his face and tries to freeze time with his super secret power that he has yet to unlock and probably never will.

Bonus: Leviathan tells Henry 2.0 about his crush every time he spends time with them

"They touched my hand Henry, they touched my hand!!" blushes just thinking about it.

Wrath

Satan is ✨gentle✨ with his crush.

He's pretty insecure about how intense his anger can be when it comes to people he doesn't want to hurt, especially if it's a human.

Satan will try to show them his softest side in hopes that when they meet his wrath, they can anchor onto the fact that he's not that bad

That being saaaaid, if he senses their discomfort whatsoever, he tries to put out the flames of rage that are constantly brewing inside of him

And then offer to take them to somewhere to hopefully make them feel better.

"You seem to be tense. How would you like to join me on a little excursion? We could go see the new art exhibit that just opened up."

If that doesn't work, he invites them to his room to drink tea and maybe just chat

If they're into reading, he'll offer to let them look at his collection and maybe even pick something to borrow.

Satan is also pretty playful with his crush

Sometimes he'll say something a little mean just to get a reaction out of them, then immediately reassure them to the max that he was messing around.

"And I should be seen in public with a human because?"

"Hey-!"

"I was kidding!" He'd chuckle, bringing a mischievous finger to rest on his lips, "I only wanted to see how you'd react. I'd love to go somewhere with you."

Bonus: Satan's best pranks are with his crush.

Satan would definitely catch feelings with someone that challenge his brain and make him think bigger. He'd fall for someone bold, adventurous, and smart.

So combining the two of them makes for some of the most CREATIVE pranks

"So you guys are telling me that you switched the body of Mammon and a random woman on the street and then made a bet with Asmo that he couldn't seduce said woman... who had Mammon in her body."

"Absolutely."

Lust

Asmodeus would make his crush so obvious that everyone just thought he was messing around

He'd shower his crush in praise all the time

"Look at you! So beautiful!"

"Tell me, doll, have I ever let you know that your face is so symmetrical? Oh and your nose is so cute!~"

But oh, he gets f l u s t e r e d by them

If they compliment him back, he'll have a brief moment to blush and try to recover immediately

I feel like Asmodeus isn't as narcissistic as he leads on, like part of it is an act. Honestly, he might even be a little bit insecure about a few things so he buffs up his narcissism to distract from it.

That being said, he probably doesn't buff his narcissism around his crush that often

He puts the focus on them

Tries his best to listen to absolutely everything they have to say

Will make sure that they know he's always going to be there

Bonus: Asmodeus will always dress up his crush when he gets the chance to be absolutely stunning, but then gets really jealous when they go out and people start staring.

"Ah! It seems like they're admiring my work a little too much! I think if these dogs aren't put on leashes anytime soon, I might just have to take you back home. You wouldn't mind some alone time with Asmo, would you?~" The last sentence slips his lips in a very smooth and almost sultry tone.

Gluttony

Beel is so fucking precious please lord save me from this puppy

He would talk a lot around his crush

Boy has so much to say, I'm telling you

He's just never found the person to listen

His crush would be THAT person

The rest of the brothers would watch like "What drugs did this guy take? He usually only opens his mouth to eat something or say he wants to eat something."

Beel would also be VERY protective around his crush. Nobody would say anything to them ever because Beel would be looming over their shoulder like "Say it and I eat you."

Bonus: Everyone talks about Beels s/o being an amazing chef but just imagine him falling for someone who can't cook?

Like even though the food is bad he will sit there and eat absolutely eVERYTHING THEY MAKE

Because hes supportive and just wants to make them smile

Sloth

A weird combination of flirty and shy

Sometimes Belphie will tease his crush a little like Satan would, making comments just to see their reaction

But Belphie would see how long it would take for them to catch it instead of immediately reassuring them

He would crush on someone who doesn't mind his lifestyle of napping a lot, taking things slow, and not really caring so he'd be comfortable with them

Sometimes if his crush was sweet to him he'd get a little blushy and shy

Bonus: Imagine Belphie with an insomniac crush who can't sleep at night and takes random naps during the day

They get really tired cause they couldnt sleep the night before and Belphie asks them to come nap with him

He'll get them a pillow and everything to help them sleep at night

[orangeyougladitsbondage]

Our first scene...

I had met her through some friends and we hit it off instantly. She was so beautiful and I couldn't help but get lost in her eyes as we talked. This talking led to an exchange of phone numbers and the first text from her later that night. The text was nothing special just a simple "Hi this is Megan, really glad to have met you today". I responded that I was glad to have met her too and then we fell into a rhythm of talking via text every few days.

Then one night that texting turned into a phone call and a sly joke about being tied up with work led to an interesting conversation. Megan told me she had always had an interest in kink but was always scared to bring it up with her previous partners. I told her I had slight experience being a Dom but that I was a switch meaning I play both sides of the dynamic. Megan seemed extremely curious and we decided to do a dinner date that Friday.

That day seemed to take forever, I mean don't they always? You get excited for something and then it seems the thing before that event takes forever? You could just sit there and stare at the clock but that just makes time freeze. So I tried to focus on work but it was harder than it should've been to do so. But finally it was time to leave work and I rushed home to get ready.

A quick shower to freshen up, brushing my teeth and then picking out what to wear. I decided on a nice button up with a vest, not too fancy but also not under dressed. My phone went off it was Megan "Hope you aren't planning to skip out on our date now, not gonna get cold feet with it being only an hour away are you?". I responded "Definitely not a chance of that happening, see you soon".

The ride to the restaurant I just played some music that keeps me calm. Dating with anxiety can be hard because the anxiety triggers my overthinking and only leads to bad things. Well not exactly bad things it just leads to me overthinking how things could play out and being scared to do them. So I played a Playlist I made that keeps those thoughts at bay. And before I knew it I had arrived at the restaurant. Now the one thing I've learned is it's always best to be early even if your date isn't just shows what you are there for is important.

Time again slowed as I waited for Megan to arrive. Car after car pulling in and the thoughts of did she get cold feet begin to sink in. Overthinking sucks so much I wish I could get rid of that part of me but alas I can not. Finally I see her walking towards me and it must've put a doofy smile on my face because she just laughed and said "what?". I just said "I am glad you made it" as I opened the door to the restaurant and followed Megan inside. I told the maitre d the name on the reservation for two and they sat us at our table.

A drink and some food later and the conversation finely made its way to kink. I asked Megan what her interests were. She admitted she really liked the bondage aspect, seeing people helpless but smiling. She also really liked the different gags but she had never tried any. I asked Megan if she had any experience with impact play and she told me she had been spanked before but not much else but that she would love to try more. I asked if she had any experience with being submissive or dominant in her past relationships. Megan stated she always seemed to take the submissive role in her eyes but that both roles interest her.

The conversation went back to normal from there just talking about our days and plans for the coming week. The check came and I paid for the meal while Megan covered the tip. I walked her to her car and wished her a safe drive home and I left smiling the entire walk to my car. But that was where our conversation stopped until later that week anyway. Wednesday I get a text that says "so I really enjoyed dinner and our talk and I'd like to explore things further with you".

Now this had me blushing at work do I asked when Megan had free time and we could set something up. Megan told me her weekend was free and I asked about her Friday night. She was free so we decided we would do another date Friday night and if she still wanted to she could follow me home and we could have a scene. But before we do that we had to discuss limits and how we wanted to scene to play out.

So via text we discussed how Megan would like our scene to play out. She said she would like to be bound and I told her I had some cuffs that can help with that as well as some hooks in the ceiling that they can be attached to. She also stated she would like to try some impact play but nothing too crazy this time. I said never anything too crazy your limits determine what we do and how long we do it. I asked if she wanted to try using a gag and she quickly replied yes and I said ok and listed the options I had.

I have a ball gag, a ring gag, bondage tape and well a clothes pin. Megan decided on the ball gag which is always a lovely choice in my opinion but you'll hear more on why soon enough. And then we discussed safewords and signals for when she was gagged. The safewords chosen were the traditional red, yellow, green and for the signal we went with her opening and closing her fist multiple times. I advised we would do a test run before we got into the scene just to make sure we were both on the same page.

The next two days of work went by like a snail and I don't think that is at all surprising. But as the time began to tick down Friday the excitement in me built. Again I drove home and freshened up this time just wearing a button up and the drove to the restaurant for date number two with Megan. Now I know only two dates and you're thinking me and Megan are about to have sex. And to some that may be the point of bondage or bdsm sure but not to me. And if you think back no where in our scene discussion was sex mentioned so that was not on the table for me at all.

So I arrived at the restaurant and this time me being dressed down a bit but Megan did not. Megan arrived in a lovely purple dress that hugged her curves in all the right ways. My gosh I couldn't help but freeze as she got closer and just take in the beauty in front of me. All I could say was wow as I opened the door and followed her in. We ate and as we did I made sure to tell Megan not to rush herself we have all night ahead of us and rushing to eat won't help. I know this from experience as rushing to eat absolutely ruined a scene in which I was the submissive. Take your time let your food settle and don't worry about time I said and smiled.

I think this helped Megan relax as she slowed down and we just had a wonderful dinner and chat. One of those chats about nothing in particular but both parties enjoyed it. I couldn't believe that I was lucky enough to get a second date with her let alone the honor that would be her submission later that night. On this night no drinks were had by me I just wanted a clear head for the nights events which I think is important when I lead a scene. So finally the check came and I asked Megan if she was sure about how she wanted this night to go.

Megan smiled and said I'm very sure and she grabbed the check and quickly handed it back to the waiter with her card. Now that is a simple move but oh I definitely took it as a power move by her. She just had this smirk afterwards that drove me wild. I left the tip and said alright you can either follow me to my place or we can come pick up your car tomorrow your choice. She then decided to follow me home and I thought to myself as the drive began how lucky I was.

The drive felt like forever but it was only maybe 20mins tops. When we got to my place we went over safewords and the safe signal and made sure we were on the same page. Then I brought up aftercare because this is a extremely important piece of the puzzle. I wish I had learned this in a better way but I think our bad moments teach us to be better. Knowing what the other person needs for aftercare is extremely important. And I can say based off experience I will never do another go with the flow scene again. Because it led to me not knowing what a partner needed and them not telling me what they needed but saying I failed.

Hearing from someone you cared about that you failed because you didn't have all the information. That is the worst feeling and one I was not going to repeat with Megan. So Megan being new, she wasn't sure what her aftercare needs were but we agreed on cuddles to start and we would go from there. So I went into my room bringing out cuffs, my ball gag and a length of rope I attached the rope to one of the ceiling hooks. I then sat next to Megan and had her put her hands front of and I secured to cuffs to each wrist. "Now we can do this with your lovely dress on or we can take it off, whichever makes you more comfortable" she smiled and leaned in next to my ear. And with a whisper she said "Oh I am making you take this dress off so you can see whats underneath" and with a giggle she stood in front of me and turned around.

I stood and slowly lowered the zipper on the dress. Then slowly slid the dress down her arms and then down her body. Underneath the dress she was hiding a lovely matching purple lace set. I couldnt help be admire her ass for a moment as I let my hand slide down it. "Wow, you came dressed to impress today didn't you?" I said with a smile as I spun her around after having he step out of her dress. "Well you only get to do your first bondage experience once may as well amaze you the first time right?" She quipped with a smirk.

I giggled and agreed with her as I clipped the cuffs together. "Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked and she confirmed that she did. I walked her over to the hook and had her turn around so I could put the ball gag in her mouth. Once the gag was in place I had her turn around and connected the rope to the cuff chain. "Well look at you all helpless and oh my already drooling" I said with a smile as I wiped up some of the drool leaking down her chin just to show her. She turned a lovely shade of red on her cheeks and I could see the smile in her eyes.

I stood there for a bit just watching her lightly struggle and test the bonds that held her. Now for me I really like gags because they lead to drool which I really enjoy for many reasons. But the other thing I really enjoy about gags is the muffled talking and moans made by the wearer. So as Megan began to struggle I enjoyed watching her slowly drool more and more and the cute little sounds she was making. Watching the drool slowly cause more and more of a shine down her chest.

I went and grabbed my flogger and then turned on the TV. "Well you seem very content there, so I'll let you go about your struggle and see what's on TV." I said and giggled. Megan tried to say you're mean but all that came out was mumbles. "Awwwww you poor thing you have to speak up if you want me to understand you." I started a random show just to make it seem like I wasn't paying attention all the while I kept watching her hands for any signal that she was done or needed to stop.

A few minutes and plenty of drool down her chin later I stop watching TV and walk over to her. "Are you doing ok?" I asked and she nodded and I asked "would you like to do some impact play with this?" As I slid the flogger over her chest. She thought about it for a moment before nodding and mumbling out a "yes please". I start with a few hits watching her to gage her reaction and making sure it's not too much. "Would you like me to do more?" I ask and she nods. This process continues for the next several minutes, me continously asking if she is ok and would like more.

I stop when her butt has the same shade of red as her cheeks did. I quip with a giggle "Awww seems your underwear isn't the only matching set you have now is it?". I untie the cuffs from the rope and then take the cuffs off of her. I then unbuckle the gag and slowly massage her jaw. "Are you ok?" I ask and she says "more than ok that was amazing". I hug her and tell her how proud I am of how she did there and that she took it all so well. I then grab a cup of water and a paper towel.

I hand Megan the cup of water as I slowly clean up the drooly mess she had on her chest. Then I grab a blanket and wrap it around her shoulders. "Would you like cuddles?" I ask and she nods a yes and I lead her to my bedroom. We lay there in my bed for about the next hour and Megan actually drifted off to sleep for about 45 minutes of it. When she awoke I grabbed her a quick snack and some more water. I told her again that I was so proud of how she handled that and asked if any of it was too much. She told me that she felt it was perfect and asked if she could stay the night as it was now 11pm.

I told her that she absolutely could stay and we sat there just talking about how the scene went. She told me that she enjoyed all of it including the impact play and would love to do more in the future. Now it was the next sentence that excited me a bit. Megan turned and smirked at me and said "maybe next time you'll be the one bound and I'll get to make your cheeks match" I began to blush unable to hide the fact that I would absolutely love that and she smiled at me and then kissed my cheek. "I will take these red cheeks as a yes to that then" she said with a smirk as I cuddled her and we both drifted off to sleep.

[alijaymtz]

Its been years since ive been here, it seems like this is the only place where i feel irrelevant and disconected from the real world. 

A lot has changed since I last wrote how I felt. 

I moved, began college, and live with my father. 

Ive said it before but there is no person I hate more than that man, he does things and then forgets the damage he caused but instead he knows how to guilt trip others. 

Im currently studying psychology, and through the study of it ive been able to categorize my father with borderline personality disorder. I doubt he’ll ever know nor will i ever tell him. 

I’ve learned to mask myself, my depression, my anger, my personality, when im home with him. Everything disapoints him. There are times that he forgets telling me to tell something to other people and then I am left in a negative place. “But you told me to tell them” ...”I never said that, IN MY LIFE IVE NEVER SAID THAT” ...

Its been two days since ive told him im styuduing to become a psychologist, today, while driving home from the gym, he asks me if I have some type of mental disorder in a joking way. I tell him “yeah, I am bipolar.” but according to several tests we’ve been reviewing in class. “yeah that makes sense” he says “I noticed since you left me when you were young”. 

When I was a child my father used to abuse my mother, hes done several crazy and traumatizing things, he broke her ribs, punched her, kicked her on the ground, for small things like burnt food or her complaining he returned home at 2 am. Back then my mother, who I think was brave, decided it was no longer safe to live with my dad because he began beating my older brother just as much as he beat my mom. 

She picked a bag, dumped in mostly my clothing and my brothers, and we headed straight to the police. Unfortunetly, they were unable to help us. So we went to the embasy, and they sent us to a shelter for women. Over the next few years I lived in shelter homes, foster homes, but safe. At one point I lived without my brother and mother but was happy, and safe. 

My mother was sent by court to return to Mexico, so we packed up and came with her. My dad staying behind “as the bread winner” or whatever. We lived in a small one bedroom with no beds or other furniture but we were happy... Untill my dad came. For a while he seemed content, unbothered, but a few months later he returned to his demonic state. 

He would not only hit my mother to the pulp, my brother, now he did it to me too. He began to fear we were becoming Mexican and began to teach us the muslim way. Through the dicipline in his feet, he’d kick us untill out noses bleed then a few minutes later kiss our cheeks and talk to us kindly about our mistakes. As a child, my mother spoke spanish, my father english. Now i was introduced Urdu, Arabic, and was expected to learn whole texts and prayers in minutes.

It was always like that, yell, hit, kissing cheeks. Sometimes he would break things in between. 

When i turned 17, my father had left for the first time in years to his homeland in Pakistan. He was gone for 3 months and during that time my brother, mother, and I sat almost every night planning how we could disapear because no matter what we did or how we did it, he’d always find us. 

My mother had gotten surgery while my dad was away, we spent a long time with her in the hospital. We had days were we wouldnt eat, sleep, or do anything other than sit. But we were happy.

One time, before he left,  He cut my mother with a knife ,In my room while I saw him stab her. I didnt want that to ever happen again. Another time, my father was mad my mom brought up him bringing a nehibor lady into the house while we were in school and she was working, but somehow he flipped it into “Jelousy” because there is no other reason why a wife would say something about it...He was so mad he beat my mother after her chemo. For weeks she couldnt move, she was in my room with the lights off and bearly eating because he wouldnt let us take her any food. But we could hear her moan in pain. Another time, he beat my brother into the street, the whole neiborhood came out to see. He dragged my brother into the stone floors and picked up a rock about my brothers head size. I swore I saw him die. I was pulled into a house by a lady and her daughters tried to calm me down as I couldnt breath. I prayed he was alive. 

A few hours passed and my father was looking for me, he knocked on every door. I sneaked out and returned home. 

So, the point to this is the following. When my dad returned from Pakistan, i closed the doors and made no sound. He couldnt come in. He would just leave after a while. He knew we were inside. I felt my breath becoming loud. He could hear. He left. 

For the next few days he would come and talk to my mom, who said “the kids don’t want you in” followed my “I brought gifts”. My mother who was still walking with a cane, felt pitty for her husband, who had been sleeping in a motel for days. So, she let him in “for a few hours”. Feeling the room shrink i sent a help messege to a cousin of mine whom told her mom. In a matter of minutes a car popped infront of the house with three aunts and one cousin, they demanded I go with them. 

Without looking at my brother, I saved myself. For two months I lived with my aunt and her 4 kids. I cleaned and she would tip me in order to help me pay for psychiatic help (she also paid it).  One day my mom showed up and told me she would do anything for me to return, i never asked how bad things were in those two months for them. I made a list asking her to go to therapy with me, for him to not look at me or say a word. I went back. He was calm a whole year, not one word was said to me. I didnt leave my room and I swear my skin went from olive to pale yellow skin for the time I spent in there. 

So today, he said “I noticed since you left me when you were young”...”Because a normal person wouldnt do that”. 

[teenytinyapprentice]

can you give me layton and luke headcanons? i need sone dad layton-

You know despite thinking about these two all the time the moment I’m asked for specific thoughts on them I’m like UHHH.. UHHghguh thheeyy.. theyre frrien;dds;ds... thweyy love e ac;;hother;; SOOOO;OO MUChhghgh.... THeyRE BESTFRIen;dss;; BEALSe,..... FBDSJFKS BUT DEspite that.. here’s a headcanon dump under the cut of whatever came to mind dskjfh sorry if I am repeating myself haha 

Layton didn’t actually think about the reality of what he agreed to when Luke became his “apprentice”… mostly that he didnt think to clear room for him until he was actually in his office and Hershel awkwardly had to move a bunch of books and papers for Luke to be able to sit and have space. He hasn’t actually interacted with kids as young as Luke on a consistent basis until this point so at the start there’s a lot of “oh yeah kids need xyz”. Emmy was a big help with this as she did NOT take kindly so having babysitting duties somehow become a part of her assistant work (not that she doesn’t love Luke!) and makes sure the Prof knows he better step up and do what he promised when he agreed to let Luke tag along! Which led to him stocking up on snacks, keeping more child friendly books/activities around, making sure things Luke would need were actually within reach and of course just making sure there was space carved out for him in his office. This bleeds out into his actual home as well - when he’s caught unprepared for Luke to spend the night and he ends up just shoving books and papers off his bed so Luke has room to sleep too. After the six months or so he’s much better prepared and turned his “guest room” back into a guest room instead of storage space for all his Stuff. And no, Hershel will never learn his lesson with this. Every kid he adopts he will have a mad scramble because he’s like Oh Shit! Gotta have ROOM for the kids I take in sadkjhfsdfb

Building off that last one - Luke is pretty anxious about being useful when he first started being Layton’s apprentice. Hershel saw this more as he enjoyed Luke’s company and he was happy to have him around and teach him what he could, but Luke took it very seriously. He was rushing around cleaning, organizing and dogging the Professor’s every step for a bit. Takes some assurance that he’s not going to like, not be allowed to come over if there’s nothing to do that day... but he does eventually hit a much smoother helping and just hanging out balance

Hershel has a “teacher voice” that he almost never uses outside of class, but occasionally slips out - but it absolutely always catches Luke off guard. Like oh right! You’re a teacher… almost forgot. ESPECIALLY effective if Luke is making trouble, that gets him looking real sheepish real fast...

Luke didn’t like tea until the Professor started making it for him. He’d only ever tried more herbal or black teas before but Hershel made an educated guess that sweeter, fruitier teas would appeal and bought those instead. Luke took his duty of learning to make tea Properly very seriously, practicing at home and tossing quite a few pots right in the trash after Hershel tries to be polite but he couldnt quite grimace his way through the first batch Luke tried to make… 

Luke keeps a lot of stuffed animals and they end up kind of everywhere… you can find a teddy bear in his office, pretty much every room of the house, the laytonmobile… other professor’s have found teddies in lecture halls much to their initial confusion..

Building off the last one - Luke quickly becomes known around Gressenheller. Lots of other faculty and students start to recognize him and Luke’s made a few friends - sometimes even sits in on Hershel’s lectures and takes very dutiful notes (and teddies get returned directly to Layton’s office with a smile and gentle reminder to let his boy know he should keep an eye on his things lest they get lost!) 

Luke really isn’t a fan of mess, so Hershel’s disorganized office and living space drive him a little nuts. He cleans up after him constantly despite Hershel assuring him it isn’t necessary! Really! - They do at least come to ONE agreement that Hershel can ONLY stack books on the floor if they’re NO TALLER than Luke himself after a stack topples over on him one time…. (and Luke will continue cleaning up after him well until adulthood, chiding him all the while. It’s a point of contention.) 

Piggyback rides are a 50/50 success rate because of Hershel’s hat… if Luke isn’t asleep with his head down on his shoulder he’s usually got a hand on the brim so he doesn’t accidentally knock it over craning his neck to see something past it. and he is absolutely NOT allowed to eat anything while he’s up there.

Hershel teaches Luke how to tie his ties and bowties… sooomeetimmess Luke feigns forgetting how to do it because he just thinks it looks much better when the Professor ties it for him. Layton knows better but indulges him anyways. 

Luke is a total baby when he gets sick. He hates being sick and gets really grumpy and fussy… despite knowing its mostly just theatrics Hershel still privately gets pretty worried whenever Luke’s feeling ill. On the other hand it’s basically impossible to get Layton to rest when he’s unwell. Luke basically has to bully him to do more than just drink herbal teas and actually Take Medicine and Take A Nap. If HE has to take the nasty cough syrup then so do YOU! 

Both of them have spells of sleeping rather poorly... (they’re bound to have nightmares after some of the stuff they’ve been through). It becomes a bit of a late night ritual to meet up in the kitchen for some tea, snacks and conversation until they’re able to get some sleep. This continues on for the rest of the puzzle family and somehow every so often, everyone is up at 3am for tea and cookies and its very pleasant... 

[amindofstone]

Match-up, No. 1

Anon asked:

"oh hi hello! i just saw the match up posts and i got super excited cause i love your writings and i never had to chance to send an ask like this lol! i'm 19 years old but i'll be 20 this year. i'm pretty tall for a girl (173 cms!) but still i'm on the chubbier side because i eat a lot and im proud of it lol. i have green eyes, and raven black hair, medium length with short bangs, because i dye it regularly, but normally i'm a blonde! also idk if this matters but i'm straight!

i really like cooking, it's a big passion of mine, i also love singing! music is a big part of my life, i cannot go a second without listening to something and i've always been like this. even though i'm not talented about it, i love to listen to it. i'm a big hopeless romantic so i'm a sucker for anything that's romantic, like movies, songs, books etc! i really wish nothing but for real and pure love! i also collect toys and figures cause i didn't had the chance to buy them when i was little.

i really dislike being left alone. i don't have many friends or loved ones, but whenever i have to leave them for something it hurt's me a lot. i don't like too much people around me but i really adore the ones who i care about. other than that, i hate the way i look most of the time. since i was a little girl i was never comfortable with my body and had lots of issues with it but im trying to do my best to love myself!

i know this was too long but i couldnt stop myself so i hope its okay! im so much lookinf forward to this match up thingy! thank u soooo much for the chance! take care ❤️"

a/n: First of all thank you so much. I'm so so glad to see that you like my work. This is a great motivation for me to keep writing. This really made my day. 💙 And I really hope that you'll be liking what will come next. I really hope that I didn't disappoint you my dear anon. This is my first time doing something like this and going honest I'm really insecure and anxious when it gets to my work. I'm never happy or satisfied by the outcome... But that's not the point. It's about you. So if there is something bothering you please don't hesitate and DM me or anything and tell me. Other than that happy reading! 🙈

Match up rules can be found HERE.

Warning(s): maybe some grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I'm still improving in every aspect. (Please have mercy on that))

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: Lord know who. IF anyone knows who did it please tell me so I can give credits. Thank you. :) !!!

• I think that you and Sanji would give a great pair.

• There are a lot of traits of you that resemble that of Sanji in my opinion. And exactly this was the reason why Sanji started to spend more time with you and get to know you more than Nami or Robin.

• Whenever Luffy screams from the top of his lungs "SANJI! FOOD!!" you scream back from wherever you are right now "Gimme a minute and I'll get you something!", before Sanji can react to the food loving man.

• Sanji loves it when you join him cooking because you two seem to be able to work together without having to communicate. But even if Sanji would like to talk to the beauty that was next to him he wouldn't dare saying a word because as much as he loved talking to you he loved listening to you sing while you prepared anything you were on at the moment. Sometimes he would just stop in his tracks and just watch you dance around the kitchen whenever one of your favourite songs starts to play in the radio. He would watch every of your moves and smile like a idiot.

• After some time passing Sanji manned up and asked you out in the most romantic way. Sanji prepared a picnic with some snacks under that one tree with the wing (I hope you know what I mean 😂). Everything was set. You were in the girls cabin reading a novel when you heard a light knock. You didn't look up and just told whoever was there to come in but the person simply knocked another time what made you stand up with a scuff. You were ready to scold anyone that was there for ruining your peaceful reading session but there was no one except of a huge bouquet of red roses. It had a little note in it saying that someone is waiting for you down on deck. With a huge smile on your lips you stepped out of your room just ro realise that the way down to the deck was decorated by flower pedals. The sight in front of you made your heart race. You didn't wanted the feeling that grew with every second in you to stop. But you made it down and was greeted by the blond man you were always fond of. He took your hand in his and lead you to the swing and made you sit down.

• He took both of your hands in his and looked you in the eyes while giving the most sweetest confession ever made. And of course you said yes and wanted to date him

• dating him was the best thing that happened to you. He was sweet and caring. He spend every free second with you. If you were close to him he would always grab your hand and intertwine them. Sometimes he would appear out of nowhere and give you a kiss and compliment a different part of your body just to leave you dumbfounded and confused with a racing heart.

• There was this island the straw hats docked on and to their luck there was a festival planned for the night of the day they came. So Nami and Robin took you shopping and made Sanji go have fun on his own. Unlike these two you wanted something fancy that wasn't a dress but they still brought a few for you to put you in later on. And they managed to get you in a short sleeveless pretty blue-black dress. They did your make-up and theirs and ran out when Franky yelled that the fireworks were about to get blown what was the sign for the beginning of the festival. But you didn't came out because you felt uncomfortable in your current state.

• Sanji sensed that something was wrong and made his way to you only to find you standing in front of the mirror and looking at yourself with a tilted head and slight pout. Sanjis eyes widen at the sight of you. Because of 1. He couldn't believe how good that dress locked on you 2. He was shocked because he knew that you didn't like the way you looked.

• "How dare you!? How dare you not love this beautiful sight?! Baby! Darling! Love! Please don't. You look stunning. Simply gorgeous now please allow me to take you to the festival and brag with the fact that I can call the most beautiful woman mine."

• As you can see Sanji doesn't, can't and won't tolerate you being insecure so he took it upon himself to push your ego and make you love yourself as much as he loves and adores you.

• On the festival Sanji would never let go of you. He would constantly have you close to him so he could protect you no matter what happens. He makes sure to once in a while ask you if you're alright or if you want to go back to the sunny since he knew that you're not a fan of crowed places.

• Sanji left you alone for a few minutes but sat you down on a less crowded and also quieter place to get some drinks. You were happily looking at the ocean when a guy approached you and started a conversation with you. You were clear not liking it but still tried to talk nicely. But the guy seemed to understand your friendliness in a different way and got closer. You told him to keep a distance but he laughed it away and simply acted as if you said nothing. You felt uncomfortable and suffocated so you were about to stand up when Sanji came and kicked him out of the chair with a sweet smile upon his lips saying "Thank you for keeping my seat warm but now move your pathetic stupid ass away and leave me alone with my girl."

• When the guy left he took you in his arms and apologised while sitting you down on his lap while asking you probably a bunch of times of you're doing good or if he hurt you.

Bonus:

• While Sanji confessed his love to you Zoro was in the crows nest watching you two with a disgusted and confused look while silently praying for you to reject him but sadly you didn't. In fact you even kissed him. "TF is that stupid woman doing?!"

[3mmafr0st]

Hard to Hate Chapter 14

Fred Weasley x Reader Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: the usual, if you’ve seen the rest of the series you’ll know!

Taglist: @intpeach, @aria-dne, @allthebestmenarefictional, @i-should-be-writing-my-own-fic, @weasleytwinswheezes, @a-disappointing-teen-author, @amorist-3, @222moonss, @carmiml0v3, @lilypad-55449, @losers-club6, @hpbitch, @ohwelliguess​, More in the Reblog. Ask me if you want to be added to the tag list!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 15,

Read the Russian translation Here

The next few weeks were tough on me, with the already intense stress of trying to remember all of the work we had been doing before the break, and the drama of what had happened. 

Draco was mad at me, upset for leaving, as well as whatever Pansy had been whispering in his ear throughout the month. He hadn’t talked to me since christmas and I hate to say it but I missed him. Even though he was quite brainwashed and could be a little shit, I loved him, he was like a little brother to me.

On top of that, Pansy and her gaggle of bitches were harrassing me whenever they could. Ever since they found my room, the fear that I struck in most of the Slytherin house had all but dwindled. At least before they moved out of my way, but now they just look down on me and I hated it. It felt worse than being feared.

Finally there was Fred. Funny, endearing, and absolutely beautiful Fred. Ever since he and the other Weasley’s returned to the school, he has been cold, distant. It was as if the last few months had never happened, that we had never become friends in the first place. George was still talking to me though. That was my only saving grace.

George and I had decided on the library to hang out that day. Melody didn’t want to study that day, instead opting to hang out with Lee by the lake on a date of sorts. 

“I honestly have no clue what’s going on with Fred, but I’m worried.” George told me, his voice nervous.

“Has he been the same with you, he won’t even speak to me.”

“He won’t talk to me about anything, but he’s definitely upset about something. This is the first time that he’s never not told me about what’s going on in his head and I don’t like it.”

“Do you think that he’s really upset with me, I don’t know what I could have done.” I was upset to say the least. I missed Fred so much and yet he wouldn’t even give me the time of day. It was agonizing. I liked him so much, maybe even loved, and yet he pushed me away.

George and I stayed and studied for a while, until the time came where we were to go to our next class, Potions, which we all had together. This was going to be difficult to say the least.

When George and I walked into the classroom, Fred was already there, sitting with Angelina Johnson. George was irritated to say the least, and since I knew Melody would be sitting with Lee, I offered him a seat next to me. I glanced at Fred, and he seemed to be even more grumpy than when we had first walked in. Snape began his lecture, his droaning and nasally voice going on and on. I should be paying attention to the work that we were supposed to be doing, on the lecture at hand. Instead, I was glancing at Fred out of the corner of my eye.

Angelina and Fred were sitting together, laughing and whispering together. I felt something, simmering in the pit of my stomach. I had no idea what the feeling was, but it made me want to tear Angelina apart. I didn’t even know why, I like Angelina! She’s nice and witty and good at quidditch, and well, basically everything I was but better. She was the perfect version of me, one with no baggage, no psychotic family members or racist family history. Who wouldn’t pick her? The burning feeling soon turned to sadness, this lump in my throat that only got worse and worse. George looked at me, and saw as tears began to well in my eyes, fighting to keep them from falling, I couldnt let the other students see me like this, it would push me even farther down the chain of respect and I couldnt have that. George raised his hand, and was called on.

“Professor, Y/N’s not feeling good, do you think I could walk her back to her common room.”

Snape thought for a moment, clearly trying to weigh his biases in his head, before allowing it. As quickly as he could, George walked me out of the classroom, trying to get me a good enough distance from the classroom before my legs gave out under me against the wall, tears falling down my face.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

“I don’t know, just, Angelina, the two of them, ugh, I feel so pathetic.” I laughed at myself through my tears. “I mean, who would even think I have a chance next to her.” George looked me straight in the eyes, both of us on the floor now, putting his hand on my shoulder to try and reassure me.

“Y/N, if he can’t see that you’re the absolute perfect girl for him, then he’s either blind, or just plain stupid, knowing my brother, its probably a bit of both.” His joke made me laugh, and he handed me a tissue from his pocket. 

“Thanks, I just feel so hopeless, yknow? Like, the two of you, and Mel are the only good things right now, and even that's been ruined.”

“Believe me Y/N, I get it more than you know.” His eyes looked far away, kind of wistful and longing. 

“So who’s the girl?”

“If I say, it's only going to make it worse.” I thought through all of the different clues, before coming to the most logical explanation.

“Its Angelina, isnt it?” I folded my hands in front of my chest giving him a knowing look.

“Yeah,” He said. “Now I know that you think I’m just saying that because I want her all for myself, don’t you?” I silently nodded, tears starting to prick at my eyes again.

“Well, that’s not true, I’m being serious. If he’s not going to man up, then he must be an idiot.” I didn’t believe him in the slightest, but I pretended to. “Come on, let's head to lunch early, I dont think you want the others seeing you like this when they leave.”

The two of us headed to the cafeteria, simply working on homework at our respective tables, until the rest of the students began pouring into the large hall. I saw Melody walk in, sitting down next to me.

“You feeling better?”

“Honestly, Mels, it's not that kinda sick. It’s just, Fred, yknow?” She silently nodded. She knew all of the events that had happened, or lackthereof. Although she knew about it, she wasnt as involved as George, I mean, she had her own things to do and I understood. 

George was sitting close to me, in a way, our backs to eachother, so Mel and Lee could continue their conversation from Potions. I heard heavy, angry footsteps behind me, and I took a peek as to who it was. Fred was angry, but for what reason I couldnt understand. I could hear the conversation from behind me.

“George, can we talk outside for a moment.” His voice was trying to mask his rage.

“Fine” George responded, and Fred walked the two of them outside of the cafeteria. 

I tried to stay out of it, I tried to sit there, and eat and talk to Lee and Mel as if nothing had happened, but after 5 minutes, the curiosity got the better of me. What if Fred was finally saying something as to why he was so distant, ignoring me for so long. It was a miserable experience and I just had to know why. 

I told Melody that I was going to the bathroom, and then ran off, looking for the two boys.

I walked down the hall, searching around for them, when I heard yelling, two voices that I knew so well. I looked around for a moment, before finding a door that I had never seen in this hallway before. I put my ear up to the door. The voices were muffled, but I could sort of make out what the boys were saying.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Fred, am I not allowed to have friends?”

“You and I both know that it's not just friends.”

“I’m not lying, it’s not my fault that you’ve been being an asshole and pushing us away!” The yells were immediately silenced, replaced with the sounds of skin coming in contact with skin, yelps of pain and growls of anger.  

“Alohamora” The lock quickly undid, and I pushed the door open as fast as I could. Fred had wrestled George on the ground, punching him into the floor, as George was trying as hard as possible to gain the upper hand. I quickly wracked my brain for something to separate the two without putting myself at risk before finding the perfect incantation “Relashio!”

The two looked at me, then looked at each other, trying to go at it again, but I quickly cast the Colloshoo hex, sticking both boys’ feet firmly on the ground. 

“You too are unbelievable, you know that? You are brothers for Merlin’s sake, what the hell has gotten into you?” George began to speak but I cut him off, I was too angry to listen. “Fred, you need to check yourself this instant, your behavior in the last month has not been that of a friend. Friends are supposed to be kind to each other, supposed to support each other, talk to each other at the very least! Once you’re ready to explain yourself, I'll be in the astronomy tower. George, if he tries anything like that again, you sure as hell better tell me.” 

“Can you at least let us go?” George asked, as I opened the door of the mystery room.

“It’ll wear off in an hour, you two need to talk through some things.” I shut the door behind me. I was angry, confused, and upset, all of those emotions culminating in the only way that my body could understand, once again tears began to run down my face. Luckily classes had ended early today, because if not, I would have had to go to a History of Magic looking like this mess.  The only thing that I could do was go to the astronomy tower, and hope that Fred had gotten over himself enough to come and talk to me, explain why all of a sudden he was acting like this.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hiiii it's me again😂❤️ Can I have a ff where Artie Is at Arkham and it's his last day in. and x Reader comes to pick him up from the hospital🥺 and they go home together, and as always if you want to add some cuddles or She helps Artie to take a warm bath🥺 It would be nice

Oh my dear friend, thank you so much for the request. It was a very emotional ride and very intimate to write. I hope with all my heart that you will like it. Love you so much!

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

The moment the door opened you felt your heart crumble. That heavy, white door with the tiney window. He must have stared at this window for so many nights.

The bed was empty. For a second you feared that he broke out of the hospital. If that was the case they would find him and lock him up again. Way longer than last time. The thought of being seperated from him for another few weeks or months seemed unbearable. Looking back at the last weeks without him made you wonder how you managed to stay sane yourself. The empty bed, the stillness of his  empty apartment...it felt like the walls were closing in on you. Night for night was spent on his couch, alone, trying to remember his skin on yours, pressing his pillow close to your face to smell the remains of his sweat and shampoo that got caught up in the soft fabric.

He was missing from you like a part of your very own body. And now you`re gonna get your missing part back. Taking it home with you. Filling his apartment with love again.

Your eyes searched for him. That room. Standig between these four walls made you feel snowblind. All the white. Even Arthur was dressed in white.  The only contrast was his dark hair .

Arthur was sitting in the corner of the room. Crumbled up on the floor, like a piece of paper. Like a love letter that wasn`t well written enough to send it, so the writer just formed it into a ball and threw it across the room.

But you wanted to read it. Every sentence. Every letter. You wanted to take that page and uncrumble it. Make it readable again, to realize how beautifully written it actually was. Poetry. The purest form there ever was.

Arthur was the poem who remained unnoticed. Unseen by so many. Even by the ones who wrote him.

The doctor kept looking at you, talked about last night and how Arthur kept whimpering your name. But all you could do was focusing on that one curls that fell to Arthurs forehead. His head was hanging heavy on his shoulders. He looked downwards.

"Artie, darling? I`m here. " you got up to him to knee on the ground.

Arthur finally lifted his head. The circles under his eyes darkened  since you saw him two days ago. He looked exhausted as you gently stroke his hair. A tired smile crossed his sad eyed face. His curls felt greasy like he didnt washed it for at least a week.

"You look tired, darling"

Arthur tried to get up but he seemed so much weaker than he was when he got here.

"Im so tired, Y/N. I`m so very tired." He sat down on the floor again "You`re really here aren`t you?"

"I am.  Its your last day. I will take you home with me now".

Arhur started to cry "Can you please hug me. I need to feel that this is real. I want to hug you but....I can`t"

It was now that you realized that he was still in his handcuffs.

You wrapped your arms around him so tight you felt his ribcage poking you. Silent tears fell from his eyes onto your shoulders.  "I missed you so much, Arthur. I was so incompleate without your breath on my neck at night. "

He nodded, unable to answer. He just cried.

"Cry, sweetheart.its okay let it all out. It`s over now. You can go home with me. No more lonely night in this cold room. We`re gonna go home now and I`m gonna make you a nice, hot bath before we disappear under the sheets.

The doctor looked at you with disguise "A hot bath sounds like a plan. Mr Fleck refused to take a shower for 9 days straight. "

You didnt liked the tone in her voice.

"Why is he still wearing his handcuffs anyway?" you asked.

"Because you can never know with him." The doctor replied, giving him a dirty look.

You wanted to tell her how damn rude she was but you kept silent to not risk anything.

"And he refused to eat,too. We actually thought he wated to starve himself to death in here. Which is illegal."

The anger inside of you grew with every word she said, but you concentrated on Arthur and supported him to get up. "C`mon, darling. We`re gonna leave this place now."

Arthur once again fell into your arms, desperately trying to touch you with his cuffed hands. You held his fingers  inside your fist "You`ll feel better soon, I promise."

The doctor took a step closer and got the keys to unlock the handcuffs. "Goodbye, Mr. Fleck. " her voice sounded cold and heartless. You noticed her taking a step back as Arthur looked up to starte into her eyes. Almost like she was afraid of him. How could anyone be afraid of him?

Arthur didnt answer. The second his hands were free he hugged you with his whole body. So tight it felt like you shared the same jumpsuit. He held your face between his hands. They were as gentle as always. The most gently hands in the world. He seemed different. But still the same. His fingertips stroke your face, your cheekbones and nose, your chin. "I missed touching you, Y/N. Oh, I need to touch you so bad. "  The intensivity of his eyes never left, even when he looked as tired as  he did now. He was so touch starved. Just as you.

"Not in here, Mr Fleck. You know the rules." The doctors voice really got on your nerves. Did she had any idea how hard it was not being able to share your love ? Did she even knew how it felt to be in love? To be forced to leave your other half behind? At a mental hospital?

You both ignored her, touching each others faces "I missed the taste of you" he breathed upon your mouth, right before your lips met. Arthur kissed you with all that was within him. His mouth was dry from all the medication. His lips cracked.  But his kiss was full of love and admiration for you. Full of longing and pain.

Your fingers ran through his messy hair. It was getting even longer than usual. Almost reaching his shoulders.

"Please!" The doctor started to sound angry. "This is not allowed! You`ve got enough time in your hands when you`re out of this building".

Your lips parted again.

"Thats right Dr. Finn. Goodbye." you grabbed Arthurs hand and lead him out of the room.

Before you left Arkham Arthur was lead into the changing room, where he got rid of his white clothing. He looked so much more like himself when he got back. His brown cardigan made him look softer than ever before. He touched the soft, worn out fabric of it, convincing himself that this was all real. Grounding.

It felt good to leave this bulding which became his second home after so many years of being in and out. A home that felt more like a prison since there was someone waiting for him outside these walls.

The whole way home  on the tram Arthur rested his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes. He needed sleep.

"I havent slept for days" he whispered while you sqeezed his hand. "I couldnt close an eye without you by my side. Even the sleeping pills couldnt help."

"We`re gonna make you rest as soon as we get home, Artie."

Artur almost drifted off into sleep on the ride home. Leaning on your shoulder was enough to make him feel save enough to get sleepy.

When you arrived home you took off his sweater and pants "You`re freezing, baby."

"I know."

"Do you still want to take a bath before going to bed?"

"Yeah...please! I feel kinda... dirty".

You kissed his forehead and handed him a bathrobe "Put this on while the water is still running. It will keep you warm. I will make you some soup, okay? You gotta eat something,too."

Arthur nodded "Okay. But...I`m afaraid my stomach cant hold it. They gave me some new meds and it was getting worse again. "He looked ahamed as you walked into the kitchen to boil some water. "Dont worry, Artie. We`ll go slowly. But we have to try. I wont let you go to bed with an empty stomach today. It must have been days since you had eaten something. "

Arthur followed you into the kitchen. He needed to be near you every second. He looked so lost in his bathrobe. So helpless.

"Alright, the soup will be  done when you finished bathing. " you smiled. Arthur mirrored your smile and followed you  back into the bathroom. He stil walked like he had his handcuffs on, which was a sad thing to wittness.

Arthur froze when you helped him out of his bathrobe and into the bathtub. He was even skinnier than usual. His body looked like he was close to a break down. His shoulderbone seemed like it was about to burst through his fragile skin. He`s got some small bruises on his wrists and his tummy was sucked in.

The warm water felt like an embrace as he let himself sink into it. He immediately closed his eyes and awaited your touch.

"I`m so gald to be home" he mumbled as you started to shampoo his sweaty hair. Washing his beautiful curls always felt very intimate to you. You had a thing for his hair. Every strain of it was holy to you. Every curl a poem.

You noticed a small wound on his forehead as you tried not to let the shampoo run into his eyes. "You`re hurt"

"I know. It was my fault. I did it to myself. I`m sorry if I disappoint you"

"Artie, you could never disappoint me. Do you hear me?"

He nodded.

"I love you more than anything, Arthur"

"My whole life I never loved anything else" he replied.

You stopped washing his hair for a second to lean in to kiss him. The warm water dripped down his forehead. You tasted his shampoo upon your lips.

He was home with you.

Life was sweet.

You took the sponge and washed away the pain and loneliness. Every bad memory, every sleepless night at Arkham. You washed it all way. Watching the pain dissappear in his eyes.

Arthurs musicles started to relax under your  tender touch. Even his tense tummy.

He was thankful for all the attention, the love. A smile crossed his face after he got out of the bathtub. You hugged him while he was still naked.

"You feel better now, sweetheart?"

" A lot, Y/N. Thank you. I`m trying to eat some soup now. Just for you!"

"Thats great, Artie. lets do it" you handed him oneof his sweaters. "Um....can I have....would you let me wear one of yours? " he asked with his little voice.

"Of course, Arthur. Oh god, sure. Wait I will get you one!"

A minute later you came back with your fave sweater. Arthur slipped into it like it was his.

"Thank you so much. Its so comortig to wear your clothes".

"Anytime, baby" you got the bowl of soup.

Arthur sat down on the couch. He didnt even asked for a cigarette.

You noticed his eyes watering.

"Whats wrong, Artie?"

"I`m afraid I might throw up. I`ll be so embarassing."

You took the spoon and put it to his lips "There is no reason to be ashamed. The important thing is to try. If you have to throw up its okay. "

"I threw up at Arkham and they yelled at me"

"I´m not gonna yell at you."

"I know....I know that." he whispered.

Arthur swallowed after you fed him the first spoon.

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

"Another?"

"Yeah"

You fed him three spoons of soup until he was close to spit it out again.

"Its okay, baby. Take your time. We`ve got all the time in the world to make you eat."

"Thank you so much, Y/N. I dont know what I would do without you."

Arthur waited five minutes until he was ready for another four spoons.

"I´m proud of you, Arthur. Really. You`re doing great.

"Thank you Y/N. For helping me with that. I think thats all I can eat for today. But maybe....tomorrow. Or later when I wake up. Maybe you can leave the bowl of soup next to my bed"

"Sure, darling." You kissed the corner of his mouth and placed the bowl on the table.

"Try to get some sleep now. I`ll be right here with you".

Arthur layed down on the couch as you joined him.

His huge blanket covered both of your bodies.

"Finally" he muttered, pulling you close to his heart, burying his face in the crook of your neck, kissing it gently as he breathed you in.

The familiar smell of his own sheets helped him relax.

"Y/N?"

"Yes Arthur?"

"Would you....like...sing me to sleep or something?"

"Of course,my love"

Arthur closed his tired eyes as your voice quietly echoed through apartment 8J.

"The moon is a silver dollar shining up in the sky

There is a dream we can buy.

Sweetheart you and I

The moon is a silver dollar

Made for lovers to share

And with you in my arms

I`m a millionaire

Our care in troubles

Will all be small change

Someday they all change

Into a dream come true

The moon is a silver dollar

What a glorious sight

Lets invest at him love

Tonight"

---

@impulsiveclown @ben-solos-writing-avenger @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @gwynplaine89 @damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle  @duhliriouss @sadjesterautumn @therealjokerking10 @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes  @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie @jokerflecker  @check-out-this-joker @darknessisafriend  @nicoleverse @mdme-rosary @arthurhappyclown    @neon-umbrella-for-stella   @cherrymoon75 @call-me-harley-quinn  @arthurjokersgirl

@aarthurfleckk @mylovelycrazyworld @clownalog @ajokerfangirl  @the-one-who-is-chaos

[shuskas-story-book]

Leave it to the Bees

Based off the song "Let it Go" by James Bay.

Eridan smiled over at the Asian male next to him, miss-matched eyes smiling back over the table back to his own odd violet ones. He couldn't help the small quirk to his lips as the waitress came over and sat down a set of drinks for the boys to enjoy, Sollux taking his drink and taking a drink with a soft little 'ah' afterwards. "Tho..... Friday night, and I'm already theeing a bunch of Thirtth jutht waltzing into the bar." he commented with a smirk as another male walked into the bar, his tie undone and a 5 o'clock shadow highlighting his jawline.

Eridan couldn't help the soft giggle that escaped him with a nod, reaching out and taking his own drink with a curious sniff at the strawberry filled liquid. "Sol...what did you order for me again?" he asked, head tilting to the side as he took the straw between his lips and tasting it with a shocked little hum. Eridan hadn't expected it to be so good, his boyfriend having been bad about ordering a strong drink and not warning him about the bitters or the high alcohol content of the drink in question.

Sollux smiled a bit and watched eridan over the edge of his sunglasses with a curious gaze. "It'th called a midthummernight dream. Got'th vodka, two Ruthian alchoholth, and a thit ton of thtrawberrieth" he explained. Eridan nodded and looked to the pink drink in his hand again. "Well for once, it tastes amazin and I'm glad I let you choose my drink" he replied with a small hum in his throat.

"And what, pray tell, did you choose for yourself?" he asked, folding his fingers together and resting his dimpled chin upon them. Sollux blinked and looked at the amber liquid in his glass. "uhh....I think it'th called a 'headleth horthman?" he asked himself, head cocking to the side slightly as he took another sip and nodded "yea. think that'th what it'th called. But anywayth, we have a lot to talk about." Sollux cooed, resting his chin in the palm of one bony hand as the other reached out to carefully rub against Eridan's arm.

The Ampora arched a brow and watched the computer calloused fingers as they trailed over his pale skin. "Oh? and what would we need to talk about Sol? Did I do something wrong to one of your builds?" he asked, unfolding the well manicured fingers and moving them to hold his lovers. "Or....is it the fact that were moving in together?" he asked with a small smile, head tilting to the side.

Sollux couldnt help but snort softly and nod. "of courthe it'th the move Danny. Jutht think, we'll be in our own plathe. Cronuth can fuck off, Tuna wont be able to barge in on our cuddle thethionth......or....anything elthe" he teased with a wink that caused Eridan to blush dark. That inuendo had happened more than once to the duo and had ended in a very embarrassing conversation with Psiimon over what was not allowed in his house.......again.

"W-well....I still say that wasn't our fault. He should know not to barge into his big brother's room....Mituna is 13 now after all!" he huffed softly as Sollux just laughed and shook his head. "Yea yea yea. But you know my dad'th thuper protective of Tuna" he hummed, moving his hand to rub a thumb over Eridan's knuckles.

The conversation slowly trailed off between the two as they finished their drinks off, Eridan still being a lightweight even after Cronus and his military drinking habits dragged the younger along for the ride. Sollux wound up taking the keys away from his lover and hooking an arm around him in order to help walk the short distance to their taxi.

Time passed very differently for them during times like this, soft kisses and gentle touches that had them both calm and comforted as they fell asleep in one another's arms. They were still tangled up with one another, light dancing across sleeping limbs when they're woken up by a hyperactive little brother. Mituna was more than excited to see Eridan again, almost pulling the Ampora from his still sleeping lovers arms in an attempt to get someone to play a video game with him.

Sollux wound up being woken up and games played as breakfast was made and plated. Eridan couldn't help but think of how cute it would be to have their own little family like this. He sat his chin on a palm and watched the two brothers bicker over the fact that Mituna did not, in fact, need half a bottle of syrup for his stack of 5 pancakes with a smile on his face. "You two are so cute together like that you know?" he mentioned softly, a loving look on his features that had Sollux blushing a bit and Mituna puffing up his cheeks with a defiant little 'nuh uh!'.

Eridan laughed softly and shook his head. "Sorry. I guess I'm just holding on to that old dream of having a family. Deffinately something we dont need right now," he cooed, looking up to Sollux who rubbed the back of his head nervously. "heh....uh...yea Danny.....That'th thomething that can wait a few yearth to make thure were actually ready" he agreed softly, both of the older boys jumping when something shattered over near the sink.

Mituna was standing there, hands over his mouth, eyes wide, and one of Sollux's favorite mugs in pieces on the floor. The poor boy looked like he was about to burst into tears when Sollux knelt down to pick up the largest piece with a sigh. "well....tho much for that one" he muttered, head shaking a bit.

"I-I'm th-th-thorry Th-Thollux!" Mituna sobbed softly, backing away against the cabinet as Sollux frowned. " Woah woah, hey.....Tuna no come on. Let it go. Thith broke, jutht let it be. It'th no ithue tho jutht keep being happy little you and I'll be normal grumpy me. It'th jutht a mug, and like everything elthe that breakth, we'll leave it to the beeth." he stated with a smile, collecting the broken shards before stacking it in a pile and sitting it in a bin dubbed 'for bee houses'.

"thee? Nothing wrong. They'll love that blue color" he continued, Mituna nodding along with the fear of broken glass long behind him."Yea! I'll be me and you be you! We can make bee houtheth later!" he rattled off, the older boys easily falling in behind his enthusiasm for the day.

****************************************************

Time passed quickly, the apartment being gotten and their shared world slowly coming together. But things seemed to sour at the drop of a hat once Sollux started doing computer repairs from home more and more. Things seemed to jump back and forth from throwing clothes on the floor at the end of the night, to slamming doors and the two of them sleeping in separate rooms almost nightly.

Sollux had brought home something from his dad's house, just trying to bring some home cooking back into their lives and give a bit of color to the drab grey things had gotten to. Of course, shit hit the fan pretty quickly when the wrong things were said and a fight ensued. in the end, they were sitting at different ends of the dining table so they could eat. Eridan had his head in his hands and Sollux had his nose in his phone to try and just keep his mind off the fight they just had.

Eridan spoke up first, voice shaky as he tried to keep from crying. "Sollux.....if this is it...if these fights are all we're living for......why do we insist on doing this anymore?" he asked softly, sniffling lightly as he turned his eyes up to his lover. "I used to recognize myself but now I feel like I'm just a husk of who I used to be" he continued, jumping a bit when Sollux pushed his chair back with a snarl.

"Well it'th funny how our reflectionth fucking changed now ithnt it? Thinthe we're becoming thomething elthe, I'll jutht leave you here for a while." he growled, storming off to the room. Eridan moved in after him, watching the thin bee lover packing a backpack with tear filled eyes. "S-Sollux.....No come on.....I-I didn't mean it like that, please just let it go!" he begged softly.

"No Eridan!" Sollux snapped, turning to the other with a snarl. "Jutht let it be. You can thtay here and be you. I'm going home, thpending time with tuna, and I'll be me. Everything here ith fuckin broke tho leave it to the beeth alright?! " he snapped, slamming the door to the apartment after pushing his way past his lover and out into the hallway.

By the time he made his way to the lobby the storm outside had finally come to a head, rain pouring down and making it quite hard to see even if you had headlights on. Sollux stood in the lobby for a moment, pausing himself to just think about the situation for a few moments before he heard Eridan's voice call out from the elevator. "I'm not fucking dealing with thith!" he growled to himself, glaring back at Eridan as he pushed through the doors and out into the pelting rain.

Things happened too quickly to really realize what transpired, A bike rider rushing by, a driver going too fast on a slick road, and the crunch of bone and glass before everything just froze around Eridan. Sollux was laying in the middle of the road, a terrified teen getting out of her car with a terrified scream as the rain started to soak her and the male she hit through to the bone. Eridan's blood ran ice cold as he shook his head and ran out into the storm screaming Sollux's name. trying to get some form of reaction from his lover.

*************************************************

"He's not going to wake up for quite a while Mr. Ampora. Please, make yourself comfortable and dont touch any of the wiring near him. " the doctor stated softly, patting Eridan's shoulder with a broad, gentle hand. The smaller male nodded, puffy red eyes locked on the sleeping form of his one and only.

He waited for the doctor to leave him alone to move over and sit next to Sollux's bed with a sniffle. His hand reached out to carefully settle into Sol's, a sob escaping him as his normally warm fingers felt ice cold against the Ampora's.

"This feels so wrong Sol....y-your way too cold" he whispered aloud, tears already welling in his eyes and falling over his cheeks. "God.....There's no force on earth that could make this feel right......" he whimpered, laying his head down on the white sheets of the bed and squeezing Sol's fingers tightly.

"C-come on.......Just....I'm letting the fight go. You're right a-and I'm not being responsible enough with what I've been spending lately...W-we've been pushing this problem uphill and not taking a chance to really.....really talk it through" he whimpered softly, mostly just rambling on to himself in the silence. "I guess it just.....got too heavy to hold tonight and look at what we let happen.....what I let happen" he whispered to himself, head lifting so he could see his lovers face as a tear fell down his cheek. "I think it's time to let our words slide......please....forgive me"

*******************************************

A few months after the wreck, Eridan was settled in his old room, snuggled up next to Sollux as they looked through a thick picture book. "Oh, remember when we went to Alternia beach? That was the best date I think we've ever had" he said, both boys laughing a bit. "Yea....It wath a fun date...Thtill think we thould have left Tuna at home for that one though. We could have gone through and done the turtle thnorkling" Sol purred at his little lover as he stretched out and closed the book.

Cronus came by the room and knocked on the frame of the open door, offering a small smile. "Hey Danny-boy.....Feel like going up to Star Touch Point with me tonight? We can go watch the star shower together like old times....you can even bring Sollux if you want" he offered, the look on his face growing even sadder as Eridan looked up at Sol with a smile. "Yea.....We would love to come watch the shower with you Cro....I'll grab my bag and shoes and we'll meet you out there!" he chirped, sitting up and stretching before reaching over to grab his shoes and socks.

They all piled into Cronus's old pickup, the military boy making sure things were tuned up before the drive to their secluded 'brother zone' as they had called it in their youth. They made it right around nightfall and the two younger boys were quick to abandon Cronus at the car to run up to the top of the hill with cheerful laughter. Cro just shook his head with a soft chuckle and let them go ahead

Time seemed to stand still once they made it up overlooking the town in the distance. Sollux smiled and moved over in front of Eridan before waving his hand to the bag. "Tho ED......you ready to let it go?" he asked softly, Eridan's smile faltering a bit "I-I dont know what you mean Sol....Let what go?" he questioned, Sol shaking his head. "Come on ED....Danny.....jutht....let it be"

Eridan started shaking his head a bit "N-no....Sollux I.....Please dont make me do this" he begged softly, Sollux just smiling sadly and tilting his head to the side. "Why not tonight?.....It'th our anniverthary after all. Why don't you be you for tonight. I'll be me jutht like old timeth" He offered, taking a few steps backwards. "Everything broke Danny....."

"NO! Sollux please don't make me do this! Please y-you made it out of the hospital, y-youve been weak but you made it.....please!" he whimpered, head shaking as tears started welling in his eyes. "Eridan pleathe....leave it to the beeth for a while....let them take your worrieth and tearth" Sollux whispered softly, Eridan letting his hand reach down into his courier bag to pull out a silver and gold container.

It was a pretty little thing, Bees etched into the metal and accentuated with gold leaf over the silver of the body and Sollux's name etched into the base gorgeously. "No.....please....I'm not ready to let you go" Eridan whispered, turning his eyes out over the cliffed edge of the hill that separated him from where Sollux was floating over thin air. "Eridan...Let my atheth fall here.....You've held on for tho long....."

"Sollux.....I dont want to let you go! I love you....Please just.....J-Just come back please!" Eridan begged, soft sobs wracking his chest as Sollux shook his head. "No Eridan.....You need to forget m-" He was cut off by Eridans loud sob "NO! NO NO NO.....no....."

"Come on Danny.....don't make thith harder on yourthelf. Let me go.....Jutht....Let me be" he continued, slowly stepping forward to kneel where Eridan had fallen to his knees, clutching the urn to his chest. "Why don't you go live your life.....Go be you.....and I can be me" Sol whispered, Eridan not looking at him anymore as he carefully opened the locked top to the urn and pulled a bit of ash out to cradle in his hand.

As he carefully let the ash sift through his fingers Sollux smiled again, leaning over and hugging his love tightly. "Thank you Eridan......I love you......Thank you for setting me free" he whispered, pulling back and pressing a soft kiss to Eridan's forehead for a final lingering bit of warmth on the Ampora's skin as he faded away in the soft breeze that carried his ashes down over a large field of flowers.

Cronus waited a bit longer after hearing Eridan stop screaming no before moving up to kneel beside his little brother and rest a large hand over the smaller boy's back. "hey.....He's still here.....look, he even sent a little friend to say hello" he offered, a small bee buzzing softly as it landed on Eridan's hand for just a fleeting moment before continuing off towards its hive for the night.

For the first time in four months, Eridan didn't feel that deep stab of guilt in his heart. Instead he felt the light breeze around him, the warmth of his brother's hand, and more importantly, the soft kiss of the night as the first of the stars began to shoot through the night sky.

[supercxrpschild]

baby!danvers - exhale

Trigger warnings for self harm, depression, and eating disorders. Please take care of yourselves 🤍

Wrote this last night because i was about to relapse and was crying so hard i couldnt see. I thought what would happen if i had Alex and Kara and Lena. What would happen if i could let someone in, what would happen if i could finally let go. 

So i wrote this instead of hurting myself. 

Word Count: 1548

You woke up. Again. Every day seemed to be worse than the next. Every day you wished you weren’t here anymore. But you were, and you had to keep going.

It was becoming harder and harder to do that though. Harder to force yourself out of bed, harder to force yourself to get dressed, harder to force yourself to go to work at L-Corp and even harder to pretend everything was absolutely fine.

You were nearing your limit, and you knew it. Everyday it felt like you were holding your breath, never able to exhale.  But you couldn’t break now. You couldn’t break when everyone was coming over to yours and Kara’s apartment tonight for game night. You couldn’t break ever.

Your limbs felt like lead, the physical energy you needed to get them to do what you wanted them to was more than you had left in you. As you placed paperwork in the pile by your desk, you slipped and watched them fall to the ground. You stared blankly as they floated down, landing on various parts of the flooring. You only stopped staring when you heard a voice,

“Y/n?” Slowly you looked up to see Lena, her expression something you couldn’t read. You tried your best to look present,

“Hi Lena.”

“Are you… are you okay?” She asked, unsure of the right wording.

“I’m fine, is there something you needed done?” She hesitated for a moment before explaining what she needed you to do, and hesitated again when she left you.

You sighed. Just 12 more hours, and then you’ll be in bed.

“Come on, y/n!! Play me in Mario kart while we wait pleaseeee!!!” Kara begged from the couch as Alex poured out bowls of snacks. You shuddered looking at them.

“I um, I think I might just lie down for a few minutes… you know, until the others get here…” you left without waiting for a response.

15 minutes later you forced yourself to go out there and play games for hours, forcing yourself to be okay and laugh and not show any signs of what was actually going on. You cleverly refused snacks and pizza. You also cleverly avoided Lena, who was starting to suspect something.

Eventually, you were in bed, safe.

Until you had to wake up and do it all again.

You struggled a bit more this morning. It was all becoming too much to fake. But you made it to L-Corp, though, you did stop by the bathroom in the lobby to do something you weren’t proud of. But it helped you keep going through the day, so it wasn’t that bad. If it helps, why not.

Once again, Lena comes to you after lunch. You know she knows somethings up, and its killing her not being able to figure it out.

That was before she said softly “Oh y/n…”, and you looked down and realised you were wearing a white blouse today and didn’t think it through when you had your little trip to the bathroom this morning.

You looked up at her, tears forming in your eyes. “Its nothing, Lena! I just, I scratched my wrist on the shower door this morning, haha you know how clumsy I am!”

She didn’t buy it. Instead, wordlessly, she grabbed your hand and led you to her office. She sat you down on the couch.

And that’s when you broke.

Body-wracking sobs tore through you. Lena pulled you into her arms, she undid your tight ponytail and ran her fingers through your hair, whispering promises that she didn’t know if she could fulfil, but she wanted to comfort you in any way she could.

When you calmed a bit, you sat up and mumbled an apology, already putting your walls back up.

“Y/n, darling… whats going on?” You shook your head “Y/n, I know more about little boxes than anyone, and it doesn’t do any good to keep using them – your sister taught me that.”

“Lena I- I can’t. I’m so beyond fucked up. Theres just, theres so much wrong with me. And the worst part is I’m so aware that its wrong but I can’t stop! I cant. I I just, I don’t know.” Lena nodded and held your hand.

“I know honey. I know its hard. If I ask you something, will you be able to tell me yes or no?” Hesitantly, you nodded.

“That cut on your wrist, is it really from the shower this morning?” You shook your head.

“Is there more than one?” You nodded.

“Is this the first time you’ve done this?” Another shake no.

“Lena I, I don’t want anyone else to find out about this.” You stuttered. She smiled softly,

“Don’t you think you should tell your sisters?” You stood up, maybe a little too quickly as you swayed and fell back down.

“Woah” you held your head, Lena immediately knew her other suspicion was confirmed.

“Y/n, when was the last time you ate?” You went to lie, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t even remembered the last time you ate.

“I… I don’t know. I don’t know! I don’t know!” You broke down again, and this time, Lena called Kara and Alex.

Soon, they were both there as well, in Lena’s office as you cried. Alex held you, Kara rubbed your back, feeling helpless. They all did.

“My sweet little one. I got you, its going to be okay, its going to be okay. You’re okay, its all okay” Alex murmured.

Lena and Kara stood up and walked to the other end of her office, speaking in quiet toned whispers, but you knew it was about you. You knew she was telling her about the self-harm, about the not eating. You cursed yourself, they thought you had recovered from it a few years back. Now they knew you lied and lied and lied.

“A-Alex please don’t hate me” she shushed you softly,

“Sweet girl, I could never, ever hate you.” Your eldest sisters hands threaded comfortingly through your hair, just as Lena had done earlier.

Kara and Lena came over, Kara placed a hand on your arm and carefully untangled you from Alex,

“Lets get you home babygirl.”

Kara carried you up to the apartment you shared, it reminded you of being little, when Kara and Alex used to carry you everywhere and throw you onto the bed to tickle you until you squealed with laughter.

Except this time, tears replaced laughter, and instead of the bed, she placed you softly onto the couch. Alex and her taking either side of you. It was a moment of silence before Alex spoke,

“Can I see little one?” You looked at her,

“See what?” She gestured to your wrist, you stood up defensively and swayed just like you had done back at L-Corp.

“We aren’t going to judge you sweetheart. We want to help you. I just want to have a look, maybe clean them up a bit so they don’t get infected, can you let me do that?” Your eldest sister asked as she cupped your cheek, reluctantly, you nodded.

You changed into a tshirt, something you hadn’t worn in a long time. You could tell Alex and Kara were holding back tears, they were trying not to show it, but you saw. Alex busied herself though, dabbing antiseptic onto a cotton pad and grabbing your arm that was smeared with blood from your haphazard job this morning.

“Little one, this might hurt a bit.” Kara grabbed your other hand and squeezed it as you whimpered while Alex cleaned your  wrist.

Eventually, she was done. She pressed a soft kiss to the bandage she had placed on them and you turned your face into Kara, unable to deal with the shame and guilt you were feeling.

“Okay, y/n… you gotta eat something sweet girl.” Kara said after a while. Your face paled,

“Please… no. I can’t. I’ll do anything else you want me to do, just don’t make me eat, please” you begged, Kara cupped your face, hers struggling to contain her tears.

She looked at Alex, she sighed. She mouthed something to Kara and went to the kitchen, making some plain toast.

You begged and begged, Kara just held you tight, stroking your hair. Alex brought over the plate with two pieces of toast on it.

“Y/n, you’re gonna eat one. At least just one piece.” Alex said, handing you the plate.

After sitting there for a while, you realised you weren’t going to get out of it, neither of your sisters were relenting. Slowly you picked up one of the pieces and took a bite, fighting not to gag.

When you finished one piece, you pushed the plate away and curled into Kara’s side. She placed a kiss on your forehead,

“I am SO proud of you, little star.” Kara used her nickname from when she first came to earth and to live with you and Alex.

Alex wrapped her arms around you too,

“We’re gonna get you help, y.n, its all going to be okay.”

It didn’t feel like it would be, but you had your sisters, and Lena, and Kelly and Nia and Brainy and J’onn.

You weren’t alone, you didn’t have to hide anymore.

You could finally exhale.

[scientificallygay838]

TW: Eating disorder, eating disorder relapse, body checks (no nudity, just fat)

Hey guys. I don't typically post text posts, I'm not looking for any help or advice, I honestly just need to vent. So here goes nothing.

My mom has always made comments about my weight, but I didn’t really realize it until I was around 15. I had been told I was a healthy weight, but she always had some snide remark about my weight. Slowly, I began to see myself as fat, all I saw was fat; fat thighs, fat arms, fat stomach, fat, fat, fat. The comment that really pushed me to anorexia was “What the HELL have you been eating to gain so much fucking weight, fatass?!” After that, I forced myself to eat less and less each day and exercise more and more. I went down to two meals, then one, and at my worst I'd go for days without eating much more than a protein bar if that. The most I’d ever eat in one day is 3 tiny meals, usually half of a bagel with cream cheese at 6 for breakfast, a halo orange at 10:30 for my morning snack, a small container of spinach and cherry tomatoes at noon for lunch, a small gala apple at 14:30 for my afternoon snack, and a veggie burger without a bun at 18:00 for dinner. Usually though, I'd just eat a protein bar after my morning run, and just drink water and gatorade, and *maybe* a diet soda. I spent all my time in my room. Instead of sitting around I'd exercise. I’d exercise for an hour, then take a rest break for a half hour, then repeat. I had an extensive workout of 100 jumping jacks, 100 squats, 100 sit ups, 100 crunches, 100 burpees, 100 push ups, 10 30 second planks, and a 2 hour jog. I did this every morning and evening without fail. As time went on, my health had begun to slowly get worse. I was constantly dizzy, tired all the time, my period was gone, had been for months, I was always cold, my head was always pounding, I sometimes woke up with bruises, and I started to pass out during my free time after my workouts. I knew I was not doing well, but I just wanted to be skinny, I wanted to make my mother proud. All I had ever wanted in life at that time was her love and approval, and I was starting to earn it. I ended up getting so bad, I landed myself in an RTF (residential treatment facility) to get help. I went in at 79.3 lbs. I could barely walk, I couldnt even stand up without nearly passing out. I realize now that I was dying. In the beginning, it was hard. A staff had to push me in a wheelchair; I was fed through a tube; I got in quite a few restraints because I tried to rip out my feeding tube. Every time they brought out the tube, I was thrown into a panic attack, sometimes so bad I entirely blacked out and was told I got so violent they had to lock me in the "quiet room" as they called it, until I had calmed down and regained my senses. I wasnt doing well mentally or physically. Even though my body was recovering, my mind was not. Every time I saw the numbers on the scale rise in the first 5 months there, I broke down sobbing uncontrollably. Close to my 6th month there, I had hit 127 lbs. When I saw that number, I didn't cry. I didnt feel anything, actually. I actually felt hopeful, I felt that I'd be able to be happy with my body again. When I met with my therapist, I told her about this, and she was overjoyed. I was finally able to eat at least 2 meals a day without feeling any anxiety or self hatred.

I was in recovery for about a year, but now that's all down the drain. I'm heavily restricting, fasting, counting calories, meal planning, and weighing myself more frequently, exactly how I was when I first developed the disorder. I dont want to get as bad as I once was, but I was happiest with myself at 105, and hopefully, I can get there again, because I honestly miss it. I miss having prominent collarbones, hipbones, ribs, cheekbones, and spine. I miss being able to touch my pinky and thumb around my wrist and still have extra room. I miss having a flat stomach, one that caves in when I lay down, one that I could get a belly button piercing and it actually look good. I miss feeling hot, honestly, I really do. I think the worst part about my ed is that all these people in my life just wanna help and after almost 4 years I can’t even help myself. It’s so much harder to get rid of an eating disorder than most people realize. When I hear stories of people like me being told to just "eat a burger" I get really pissed off. Its not as simple as eating more, you also have to think about the potential anxiety/panic attacks, impulsive exercising, and quite a few other things depending on the person. Honestly, after a while, it becomes so normal that you don’t even realize your disordered eating. The sad thing is, my disorder started developing because of my mother (who I was recently told has both anorexia and bulimia) shoving her own insecurities and self hatred on me, a young, impressionable teen at the time of the initial onset. Anyway, if you've read this far, I appreciate you taking the time to read this long ass post. I love you all, stay safe❤

[s0ulhealing]

Okay, so I went on a date last night.

It was okay~ and I guess i’m glad that I did... just to like get out and do something else, but it wasn’t quite the connection i’m looking for. But honestly I need to do that. I need to get out and date and meet new people. Just to really have a true idea as to what i’m looking for and what i’m not looking for.

So something I gained from going on the date last night was the experience of having a man cook for me. He was absolutely over the moon excited to have me over (almost too excited) and was so accommodating to me being a plant based pescatarian lol. “Plant based” or at least I try to be. I like saying plant based but eats (some)fish more than pescatarian... just sounds better to me. Anyways.

So he was super excited to have me over. Had a glass of wine poured for me when I got there. He bought me a live Lilly and gave that to me as soon as I walked in too. At first, when I was sitting in the kitchen as he was cooking for me I truthfully was mildly attracted to him. Seeing him so confidently cook for me was great. At first our conversation was nice~ and I loved that he seemed to have life plans and goals~ and that he was working towards his own things. Dinner was fantastic. He made a garlic Alfredo sauce from scratch with delicious plump sautéed shrimp, a garlic parsley bread and a ceasar salad. Which like~ if ya know me you’d know that thats like easily a favorite meal of mine. I also super loved his cooking stuff. He cooks in all vintage glassware. Cooks with absolutely no non stick~ all glass and castiorn 🥵 he had this glass bowl which was a vintage >super< rare amethyst color which was just incredible and I will forever be on the hunt at the thrift for that

So we got to know each other over dinner. he was (proudly) in the navy... meh. He used to really be apart of dosio fam and that big ol group of crazies. Used to use psychedelic drugs suuuper heavy but because of that has a very strong opinion and viewpoint on them. He hasnt done anything but ganj and booze for six years or something like that ~ but also considers psyilocibin a “drug” 🥴 and isnt into anything like that at all. But also couldnt connect / didnt care to listen to my side of intentional medicine use with proper space and setting.

He also talked about his ex a lot. And the more he talked about his ex the more I started to notice how much of his ex was still living in his home. I started to connect that the suffering plants were probably once hers... the dog bed that is still in the middle of the living room was hers, and who knows what else. So much so that I asked how long it had even been since they broke up. 1-3 months ish he said. Meh 🥴 too soon. I guess I also wasnt very impressed in the fact that he hardly asked anything about me. Which is okay because it gave me time to get to know him.

I think what really solidified a no from me was when he was talking about being able to kill animals. He said he could never kill an animal that he raised on his own, but by golly gee oh my if his neighbors needed help killing their cow he would be fine with it.

He also wanted me to go fishing with him... but doesnt like hiking.

And honestly once I got stoned and observed and listened more, the more I was not feeling it. I could see that him and I actually would not be able to vibe on a strong level although he was really feeling me.

He also came off super strong~ he literally bought veggie sausage (although sweet) for him to make me breakfast the next morning. Even though I was like I am absolutely not staying the night here whatsoever. It was just too much. I felt a weird pressure that didn’t necessarily need to be there.

I think a big goal in my dating life is connecting to people on a deep level. Conversation is an absolute must. Some people you meet and you just immediately have effortless conversation and THAT is what I am looking for 😌 someone who gets me~ who we can talk back and forth and someone who can just go on and on with me. It takes a lot for me to feel comfy and open up to someone but it also says a lot about our connection. Which i’ve experienced so I know it’s out there. But that’s why it’s important to date. Because each time I discover things I like and things I do not like.

After a lil while of being way too high and listening to music, I went to the bathroom and then decided I was leaving.

He definitely tried to kiss me on my way out and I reciprocated the ‘ol three tap friendship pat, took my lilly and said goodnight.

He offered leftovers to me with the exception I return the pyrex but I politely declined because I did not want that commitment.

I drove home, left the lilly in my car overnight, and proceeded to come home and get extremely fucking high.

I resisted the urge to go down in the basment. I stayed strong and kept to myself.

Baby steps.

Oh what the journey this will be.

😌

[willow-salix]

Isolation update!

Day 79 of Isolation on Tracy Island and I’ve finally got my phone back from Scott, he forgot to give it to John and then took it to bed and then slept really late and it was all a bit of a panic. Because you know what it’s like when you can't find your phone, right? Yeah, that was me. Coming out of headache delirium at around 4am, mostly because John accidentally kicked me and woke me up, I reached for my phone to check the time and couldnt find it. Instant fear, instant terro , how would I stay connected to the world of out? How could I survive being stuck here with these idiots without being able to talk to sane people that don’t think that having a pie eating contest as a midnight snack is a fine thing to do (Yes, Scott, I’m looking at you).

Phone was nowhere to be seen. I snuck out of bed, headache almost gone and totally unable to sleep any longer after napping almost constantly all day yesterday, and searched John’s side of the bed. No phone. His was there but mine wasn’t. I checked his pockets, unearthing two hairbands, a box of tic tacs, a random piece of something that had a microchip in it, his favorite pen, a comb, a fish hook(?) and a screwed up piece of paper that said ‘Kick me’ on it. No phone.

“Coffee, I need coffee,” I muttered.

“Huh? Wha?” John half sat up, paused and then flopped back down, going straight back to sleep. I guess he wasn't getting up any time soon. Being back on the Island for so long had actually gotten him into something that was vaguely like a normal person's sleep pattern, in the fact that he was actually getting more than three hours a night. It was like his body was thoroughly enjoying the rest and was making the most of it meaning that when he was asleep he stayed that way, a rarity for him since he was so used to listening out for alerts and was usually an extremely light sleeper. We just left him to sleep for as long as he needed.

I tiptoed out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind me and made my way to the kitchen to grab myself some apple juice and a cup of coffee, taking it with me to the lounge.

I stopped in the doorway and actually had to ask myself if I was still asleep, was I dreaming? Why was there an extremely large pizza on the couch? I sniffed the coffee then sipped it. Hot, strong, wet...yep, I was definitely awake and this was definitely coffee. I took a few steps closer and almost jumped out of my skin when the pizza moved, unrolling itself to reveal Gordon.

“Why the heck are you even here?” I had to ask.

He sat up and lifted the corner of his pizza blanket, moving his legs so I could sit beside him.

“You OK?” I settled in next to him, allowing him to steal some of my apple juice while I tucked the blanket over us.

He shrugged, going for my coffee next.

“Did I wake you up?” I asked.

“No, I couldn’t sleep so I got up.”

“And brought a pizza with you?” I stroked the soft blanket. “Where did you even get this, anyway?”

“I saw it advertised on holobook and thought it might be fun.”

I nodded, it was certainly that. I gently bumped his shoulder with my own.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?”

“Just had a lot on my mind I guess. None of us thought that this whole lockdown thing would last so long and it’s starting to get to me.”

“Want to talk about it? Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, not really.”

I frowned, this wasn't like our Gordon, he was usually so cheerful, being this quiet and withdrawn wasn’t like him. I nudged him again.

“How about we do something together today, whatever you want.”

“Seriously?” he didn’t look like he believed me. “Anything I want?”

“Yep, anything and I promise I won’t say no.”

He grinned evilly and I suddenly had the worst feeling that I was going to regret this.

“OK, you’re on.”

***

“She’s gonna die out there,” Scott told John a few hours later as they all sat in a row on the beach, watching as Gordon tried to explain to me the basics of how to water ski and I was seriously debating if I needed to take out a life insurance policy to makes sure my house plants were taken care of.

“All you have to do is relax back on your heels, bum on the board, arms down low and let the boat do most of the work. I’m gonna go first so you can see how it’s done.”

“And I’m just supposed to trust Scott not to gun the boat and drown me?”

“Hey! I resent that! I can go slowly if I want to!” he yelled back, overhearing my question.

“Maybe I should drive,” Virgil suggested.

“Yeah, maybe he should,” I agreed. I was seriously regretting this decision. Of all the stupid choices I’d made recently this had to top the list.

“No, I got this,” Scott initiated, climbing into the boat.

“He don’t got this,” Alan muttered, but I tried hard to ignore him.

Gordon made it look easy, as all of them did with 98.7% of everything they did. They did things effortlessly, like it was as natural as breathing. They all had the poise, the balance, the confidence and the upper body strength to do almost anything. Me...not so much.

I tried to follow his instructions, I tried to sit back, relax and keep leaning back as the boat took off, letting it take me, but those instructions didn’t count on the speed freak that was Scott being at the wheel.

“You said you’d go slowly!” I yelled as I struggled to lift my head out of the water, having been yanked forward and deposited face first in the sea.

“That was slow!” he yelled back.

“I meant normal people slow! My kind of slow, not Tracy slow!”

“Is there actually another kind of slow?” Alan asked Virgil, who shrugged, wise boy wasn't getting involved.

I tried four more times, each more disastrous than the others. I went backwards, I tipped sideways, I did what amounted to a summersault and almost knocked myself out with the edge of my board. Headache, welcome back , I can’t lie and say I missed you.

“No! I give up! I am not here for your entertainment!” I screamed at them as they all fell about laughing, Alan almost toppling out of the boat to join me.

I flapped my way over to them, towing myself in on the line, hand over hand as I inched my way closer.

“When I eventually get there you had better all be ready to apologise for laughing at me!” I warned them.

I got closer, slowly but surely and reached for the boat. It shot forward a few paces.

“Very funny, numb nut!” I yelled at Scott who was obviously in one of his evil moods.

John reached out a hand for me and I grabbed on tight. I had a split second to make my decision. I yanked hard, pulling him out of the boat and into the water with an almighty splash.

He spluttered and flailed as he hit the water and vanished for a second before he bobbed back up.

Gordon burst out laughing, finally smiling properly for the first time that day.

John got back in the boat with minimal scowling for him, though he did flick water in my face again, which I deserved.

“Plan B,” Gordon decided, finally sobering enough to talk. His Plan B took the form of a jet ski that he rode beside the boat while he yelled instructions at me.

It took us a few more goes but I eventually managed to get to my feet and stay upright for more than thirty seconds, which we were counting as a win. I gave up my board to Alan and Gordon and dragged myself into the boat, wrapped myself up in a massive towel and called it a day.

I can’t say that I had fun, but I hadn’t done it for me. Sometimes even the most cheerful and happy of us need a little helping hand, they need someone to check on them, to care about them and go out of their way to make them smile. And that’s what you do for family.

((Little announcement. I've loved doing these, but it's been a long time and I'm finding it harder to come up with ideas and finding that it's becoming a chore to write them every day, and it's taking up all my time meaning that my writing time and drawing time is suffering. That's not to say I'm giving up on theses, my aim is to keep going every day until day 100 and after that, I'll post some as and when I am inspired to do so and when I get an idea.

When I started these I didn't know how long lockdown would last but I didn't think it would still be going now. I hope I've brought a little joy with these updates, which was always the intention.

As I said, I won't be stopping completely, if I think fo something or I'm inspired then I'll write it, but I need a break, I've written over 80k so far, which is a good sized novel. Hope you all understand))