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#i did this to distract myself from the stress of not knowing what happened to my papers :')
maiko-san · 4 months
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Catnap + Dogday x Reader ( Part 4 )
<<< Part 3
Relationship : Fluff
Warning : None (?)
Plot : Every time you enter the Playcare you feel eyes watching you everywhere you go. You feel stressed and start to become sick.
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Recently, you feel uneasy and something tells you that you were being watched. Every time you go to work, you feel eyes on you.
It scares you.
Nobody likes the feel of being watched.
It made you stressed out.
You tried to get rid of these feelings by distracting yourself with work. You tried to keep yourself busy to a point you overwork yourself with all those papers or taking care of the Smiling Critters.
To a point it made your body ache and have a migraine from overthinking.
Not only that, Catnap has been acting quite differently too and his visit has become less and less each day. Not only that—
The lovely and sweet cat is avoiding you!
You finally asked the feline, what's the matter but only received—
"It's nothing...."
Nothing....nothing? Obviously there's something wrong!
Multiple questions began to swarm into your brain like a raging tsunami, did you do something wrong? It must be you, right? Yes, no? Maybe?
You had a slight feeling it has something to do with the higher ups.....
Did they tell Catnap to...avoid you? It has to be it, right? Why they do such a thing?
The stress starts to eat you the more you think about it.
Dogday and the other smiling critters saw that you've been stressed lately to a point it started to affect your health. It made them worried, especially Dogday. As a leader, it was his responsibility to care for everyone's wellbeing, including you.
"Angel, You look nervous lately. Are you feeling alright?"
"Oh, hey. Dogday....."
Dogday knew something was wrong. He comes closer to you and touches your shoulder.
You slightly flinch under his touch which made the canine even more worried.
"Angel, please tell me. Is something bothering you?"
"......"
"As a leader, it's my duty to help everyone in need. I won't forgive myself if anything happens to you"
"....."
Dogday holds your hands gently and holds them in his large ones.
You take a deep breath before telling him what's been bothering you, you know it will be useless to ignore the canine. He is stubborn and won't stop until you tell him what's wrong.
"I feel like something bad is going to happen. I don't know when. It might happen now, Sooner? Tomorrow?"
"......"
"I really hate this feeling, Dogday.....I-I can't get rid of it and no matter how many times I tried to forget it by distracting myself with work, I just.....couldn't— Not only that, Catnap has been ignoring me and started to avoid me! I— ugh, m-my head"
You suddenly drop to your knees causing Dogday to panic and he begins to whine worriedly.
Dogday's heart clenched the way you spoke. You feel scared, anxious and nervous. The canine pulls you into an embrace, in hope that it will help you calm down.
"Let's get you to the infirmary..."
Dogday makes sure that the school doctor treats you and gives you medication.
"Mrs. (L/n), I think it would be better if you take a week off from work"
"A week?!"
"Angel, it's for your own good"
"But—"
"No buts, end of conversation!"
The doctor said sternly you were causing you to snap your mouth shut.
The doctor also recommended you to rest someplace quiet and away from the city and your workplace.
It seems you have to go to your foster parents house, they always welcome you with open arms if you need anything.
"Alright...I'll take the day off..."
But still....that gut wrenching feelings still resides in you....
For today, you need to rest in the infirmary room until you are discharged.
Dogday leaves you to rest before proceeding to make his way back to his stage but before that, he wants to find Catnap first.
Dogday knows that Catnap is great at hiding, but it won't stop him since he has his canine sense helping him.
He sniffs around to find the feline until he sees the cat, snoozing around his stage like he always does.
"Catnap. I need to speak to you..."
"...Speak"
"(Y/n) is sick, have you not noticed?"
"...I know..."
"Then why did you help her with your red smoke? To make her sleep and at ease?"
"....."
Catnap looks away from the dog, Catnap knew that you were sick. It hurts him to see you like that.
He wants to help and comfort you, he really does but...
He had received an order he has to obey. His had to choose between two individuals that he adores. One he worships and the other he loves. Yet, he chose the one he worships, the one that saves his life.
Catnap knew that Dogday will help you and he trusts the dog with you in his care.
Other than that, using the red smoke on you will make everything much worse and potentially kill you in your sleep.
He doesn't want that to happen to someone who cares for him and loves him.
"Why?"
"Red smoke use...on stress person...bad could hurt and... possibly.........kill..."
"O-oh..."
Dogday rubs his arm before turning away, but before he leaves.
"Please, pay her a visit, Catnap. If you do, it makes her less worried and she would be happy to see you again"
"Also, She won't come to work for a week...."
Dogday leaves Catnap's stage, leaving Catnap alone to think about his decision to see you.
A/N : Another chapter finished 😁 . Also, a fair warning for all of you. The future chapters will become darker as it progresses since I want to stick to the plot of the game.
Also, the mascots have their own stages to perform for the orphans!
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furaill · 1 year
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rebelliousstories · 2 months
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Ex Lover’s Lover
Relationship: Cooper Howard x Reader
Fandom: Fallout
Request: No
Warnings: Fluff, Brief Angst, Strong Language, Suggestive Themes
Word Count: 2,093
Main Masterlist: Here
Fallout Masterlist: Here
Part Two: My Baby Shot Me Down
Summary: Cooper Howard gets introduced to a new up and coming actress after his divorce is finalized. What happens when Barb finds out that Janey has been spending time with the two of them?
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The sound of giggles and laughter filled the beautiful California ranch home. It was a sound that had almost never existed there again, but that all changed. Two adults were running around their dinning room in just their bathing suits because someone decided to tickle the other one.
“You ain’t gettin’ me, Coop! Not gonna happen!” The sweet accented voice rang through.
“Oh yes I am, darling.” He replied, darting around the table just in time to catch the woman. Wrapping his arms around her, Cooper began to drag her back outside to make use of their hot tub. She giggled the entire way back, and laughed when Cooper picked her up in a bridal hold to set her in the warm water. There was a tray of drinks waiting for them from before they had gotten side tracked.
“Now that we aren’t goin’ to be distracted any longer,” he groaned as he slipped into the warm water. “Here you are, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, hun. Ugh, this is just what I needed. You have no idea the day I have had.” She took a sip of her martini and relaxed further into the water. Cooper squeezed her thigh underneath the water to prompt her into talking about whatever it was.
“So the new Nuka-Cola ads ran today, and I get it, they want the prettiest image out of the bunch. But the retouching they did afterwards made my lips look twice their size. I look like I have clown lips,” pausing to take a sip, “and when I brought up my concerns to John he said, and I quote, ‘that’s what the people want. They want sex appeal.’ I’m selling a drink, not myself for a few bucks for the hour.” She ended her long rant with another sip of her drink.
“Darlin’ why don’t you find a new manager?” He asked, following her lead with his own martini.
“Cause John is a family friend. If I didn’t use him as my manager, my family would freak out. I’m tryin’ to get them out of the slums in Dallas.” Her voice wavered as she thought about it.
“Well, baby. What do you wanna do about it?” Cooper set down his glass on the ledge and turned his body fully towards his lover.
“I don’t know, Coop. I’m just hopin’ this bullshit dies down before the new movie. I’m just so stressed all the time right now. And I wanna go back to when I was actin’ for the love of it. Not just the love of a paycheck.” Downing the rest of her glass, and eating her olive, her hands were relieved of its glass by Cooper. He maneuvered her from her seat to his lap, and wrapped his arms around her middle.
“Darlin’, you can do whatever the hell you want. If you wanna get back into acting for the love of it, you can. If you wanna change a manager, let your family be mad. You’re gonna take over the world one day. I just hope I’m round to see it.” Howard started to press kisses to any and all skin he could get access to. He was briefly interrupted by her hand hitting his own shoulder, and he began to chuckle.
“Shut it. You’re not that old. You’ll still be around to see me reach your level of stardom.” She teased, pressing her lips against his. Their lips moved against each other as hands began to roam. The couple lost themselves in the moment, and did not pull away for anything. That was, until, someone’s stomach growled loudly.
“You hungry there baby?” Cooper teased, rubbing the front of her bathing suit, right over her stomach.
“You know drinking makes me hungry.” She whined, hitting her lover again when he laughed at her.
“If you think it’s so funny, you can go get food to bring out. How about that?” And she scooted off of Cooper to the bench seat of the hot tub. The man groaned, but made the move to get out of the warm water.
“Alright. What you want, baby?” He asked, wrapping his robe around him to make his way to the house.
“Can you get the cheese board from earlier? That sounds wonderful.” She leaned up to give him a kiss as he passed by, before settling back into the water. Cooper walked into the house and quickly found the board that she had made for an appetizer before their dinner. He was about to leave with the board when the phone rang. Setting the food down, Cooper padded over to the phone, and answered.
“Hello?” He asked, waiting to hear the voice on the other end of the line.
“Coop, hey. It’s me.” It was his ex-wife, Barb, on the phone.
“What do you want, Barb?” As much as he tried to sound indifferent, he was worried it came across as rude.
“Listen, I need you to take Janey. I have a big meeting at work tomorrow morning and my babysitter can’t make it. Please, I really need this favor.”
“It’s a Saturday tomorrow, Barb. What the hell you doin’ that’s so important?” He questioned, leaning against the wall.
“It doesn’t matter. Please, Cooper. Will you come take her for the weekend? You guys can start your week early this way.” She pleaded over the phone. Cooper scrubbed a hand over his face while the other held the phone.
“Alright. Alright, I’ll come get her. Be there soon.” He hung up the phone before she could say another word. With a deep sigh, he opened the door to the backyard and made his way over to the hot tub where his lover looked like she was about to fall asleep.
“Darlin’,” he shook her and watched her slowly come back to the land of the living. “Gotta go pick up Janey. Wanna come with me?”
“Yeah. I’d love to. You know I love that little girl.” She stretched and made her way out of the tub where Cooper waited with her robe. They made quick work of getting dressed and ready for the evening drive. The sun was just about to set when they left their house and got in the car.
It was a little over an hour before they arrived at Barb’s new house where the lights were still on. The entire drive over Cooper kept squeezing her hand, thigh, or really and part he could hold. There was something nerve wracking about seeing Barb knowing what he knew. He was not looking forward to it, but she was the mother of his child; that would never be taken away.
Getting out of the car, Cooper ran around and opened the door for his lover, before grabbing her hand to walk themselves up to the door. He knocked, and waited. The door opened up to the face of his ex-wife. She relaxed upon seeing Cooper, but was shocked to see the woman beside him.
“Hey,” Barb turned back to her ex-husband, “thank you for coming to get her. Come in. She’s just getting her things.” The couple walked inside the luxurious home. Everything in it looked like it was from a magazine.
“Cooper, may I talk to you?” Barb whispered, beginning to drag the man into the kitchen. He turned to his girlfriend, and only went when she nodded. Walking into the kitchen, he placed his hands in his pockets, and waited for her to speak.
“What is she doing here?” She just came out and said it.
“What do you mean?” Cooper responded.
“Don’t give me that, Coop. I thought it was just her imagination, but now I can see that Janey wasn’t lying.” Barb continued, placing her hands on her hips.
“The hell do you mean?” He asked once more.
“What are you doing with a girl young enough to be your daughter?” It was finally out in the open.
“Barb,” Cooper began, “she is a wonderful lady and I’m really happy with her. She’s of legal, consenting age. I didn’t coerce her into anything. She makes me happy and she makes Janey happy.”
“But she is so young. What’s gonna happen when she decides she doesn’t want to be with you anymore and leaves? Then you and Janey are heartbroken.” Her stern words caused Cooper to reel back as if he had been slapped.
“Wow. You really think that she is going to leave me just like that? Because of my age?” He watched as Barb stammered and tried to back pedal on her words. But Cooper just held up a hand, and silenced her.
“Listen, we’ve talked about our age difference. Hell, this is not the first time that I’ve thought about that. But every time I try and bring it up, she’s the one that puts me in my place. We love each other, of course I want her to be around Janey. And they love each other.” Cooper had stunned Barb into silence. The sincerity in his words was shocking to his ex-wife. All she could do was nod without a word as she tried to think. But before she could get another word in, footsteps ran into the kitchen.
“Daddy!” Janey yelled, happily throwing herself at her father.
“Oh, hello sweet pea! You been good for your momma this week?” He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he set her back down. She nodded eagerly, and smiled, which prompted her parents to smile. Another set of footsteps came in the room.
“Sorry, I know y’all were talkin’. But she was so excited to hear daddy was here.” Cooper’s girlfriend had made her way into the kitchen. Neither her nor her lover missed the way Barb’s face screwed up at the mere sight of her. Extending her hand, she introduced and gave her name to the older woman.
“It’s very nice to finally meet you. Janey has told me so much about you.” Barb shook the woman’s hand with a firm grasp.
“Likewise,” she turned to her daughter, “alright. You go have fun with daddy and his friend?”
“She’s not just his friend. Daddy loves Cola like he loved you, mommy.” Her words held an innocence that only a child could have. The three adults looked in between each other with solemn looks.
“Come on, Janey. Let’s let momma and daddy finish their conversation. Can I have the keys, please?” She held out her hands, and offered one to Janey while the other waited for the keys to the car. Cooper handed them over and sent a smile towards his girls as they left.
“At least she’s polite. That seems to be a lost skill for this generation.” Barb commented, tapping her nails against the counter top.
“Yeah she is. Listen, she’s going to be a staple in my life and Janey’s for the foreseeable future. So just try and keep the comments to a minimum. Good luck at your meeting.” And with that, Cooper left his ex-wife’s presence.
When he left the house, he felt like he could breathe again. Letting out a sharp exhale, Howard did not notice his ex-wife watching him from the window with a mournful expression. He opened the car door and smiled at the sound of laughter.
“Now what are we laughing about in here, huh?” He pressed, turning towards his daughter and lover. They shared a look and giggled to themselves once more.
“Nothing. Just laughing about the new advertisement that Janey saved.” She replied, showing Cooper the clipped out image. It was the same one that she had been lamenting over earlier in the hot tub.
“Gotta say darlin’. Clown look is a good look on you.” Everyone laughed at that, and Cooper handed the image back to his daughter before driving out and away, back to his house.
“Can we get ice cream?” Janey piped up after a minute. Cooper looked in the mirror to his daughter, and then over to his lover in the passenger seat.
“Well, I don’t see why not. Whatcha say, Nuka-Cola? Want a Nuka-Cola float?” He teased, squeezing her thigh when she slapped his shoulder.
“Maybe a root beer float. Do you know the chemicals in Nuka-Cola?” She quipped back, holding Cooper’s hand tightly in hers on her lap.
“Alright, well, let’s go get something for y’all’s sweet tooth.” They continued driving, talking, and laughing all the way to the ice cream parlor. And it was there,the Cooper realized that he could find a second chance at love and a family.
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salvatwh0re · 10 months
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I have officially mastered the void
So this morning (afternoon actually) i decided to tap into the void so I did the 61 points yoga nidra meditation with a subliminal. I didn’t really need the subliminal I was just using it cause my headphones are somewhat noise cancelling and my family was awake so I didn’t want to get distracted. But the meditation was really relaxing. At first I had some trouble staying focused but then I reminded myself why I was doing this and what I was doing it for. So it kept me motivated. After that i affirmed a little bit then I counted down from 100 and then I affirmed some more then I got bored of affirming so i started visualizing and then I got bored of that so I just decided to focus on the darkness behind my eyelids.
I never really took that advice from people when they said it helped cause I didn’t believe them but it actually worked. Out of everything else I did that was the one thing that sent me straight to the void. I think for the most part it was just letting go of that desperate feeling i always have when I try to enter. I always feel like I’m forcing myself to do it so I just let go and kind of forgot about what I was doing while still keeping that intention.
I was getting pretty anxious tho because of the time so I just got out but i did it again and it sent me straight to the void again. So now I know the secret to getting into the void is to just let go of that desperation and to stop forcing yourself, just let it happen. If you feel you’ve affirmed enough stop affirming, if you feel you’ve focused on your breathing enough, go back to your automatic breathing pattern STOP FORCING YOURSELF IT WILL GET YOU NOWHERE!!
and I know a lot of people stress about not being aware in the void and not affirming for your desires but stressing over that is exactly what’s going to make you forget tbh. When you let go of that desperation you let go of those other doubts too, those things that were stopping you from getting there in the first place. I feel like removing yourself from those thoughts is really effective in getting you what you want.
I will say it might help to have a list of things you want either written down or set in your mind because it will be a lot easier to remember what you’re going to affirm. When you’re in the void or even before you tap in completely you’re supposed to be super relaxed so it might be a little difficult to bring up those thoughts but because of how different the void is from the 3D it’s kind of hard to forget. Especially if you’ve been trying for a long time.
The void isn’t really something you question, you know for sure you’re in cause you can’t hear feel see taste or smell anything so it’s pretty identifiable. And because you’ve reminded yourself over and over that that’s what the void feels like, once you feel it you’re going to be like OHHH ok now i know to affirm for my desires. You’ve been training your brain to associate the void with your desires so of course once you recognize that you’re in you’re going to remember to affirm for your desires.
Also I don’t really like using the term void personally, but it’s what I learned it as. I feel like calling it the void just makes it sound so otherworldly and extraterrestrial and scary tbh. I think that’s what was holding me back as well, fear. I know that Neville Goddard refers to it as the I AM state which is a perfect name for it because it really is a state of just BEING like you’re not worried about anything else other than yourself and that’s the beauty of it. I would go on more cause there’s so much I can say but overall i hope you just let you go of that desperation so that you can finally push through and get everything you’ve been wanting because you deserve it.
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awandapologist · 24 days
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Kiss It Better
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warnings: mentions of a black eye, minor injuries, a tiny bit suggestive, but mainly just some fluff :)
nika x uconn!reader
You had been working on assignments all day; your fingers were cramping up from typing notes and you were exhausted. Midterms were coming up for spring semester and with it, the NCAA women's basketball tournament. But even with all the chaos on campus and in your personal life keeping you busy, your mind still wandered to a certain 5'10 brunette.
You had met Nika Mühl at a party your friend dragged you to at the end of the previous semester. You bumped into the taller girl while trying to get a drink, desperately needing something to relieve your bubbling anxiety from the social event. When her big brown eyes met yours, you swear your stomach flipped. You immediately noticed the small smile playing on her full, pink lips and had to forcefully pull your eyes away from them.
After a night of talking and getting to know Nika, you were practically smitten. The way she maintained undivided eye contact with you throughout your conversation, and how passionately she talked about her love for her sport completely charmed you. You knew she was a special person, and one you definitely wanted to see again, which is why you had to hold back a huge grin when she asked you for your phone number at the end of the night.
Since that night a few months ago, you and Nika had become close friends. Close, yes.... but not exactly in the way you wanted. Your romantic feelings for Nika had only grown with time, falling more and more for the Croatian everyday. You wondered what her lips would feel like on yours and what it would be like to hold her hand as you walked around campus. You swore that sometimes you thought she felt the same, but you were too nervous to make the first move, worried about tarnishing the friendship you shared.
Before you could torture yourself any further, a loud and very persistent knock on your door pulled you out of your stressful thoughts.
"What the hell-" you muttered. "One second!" you yelled, quickly leaving your bedroom as you wondered who could be banging on your door at this time of night. In hindsight, you should have known who it was by the insistent knocks that wouldn't let up.
As if by magic, the same girl plaguing your thoughts was standing on the other side of the door- except she was sporting a big black eye.
"Nika, what the hell??" you exclaimed, as you pulled the taller girl in by her arm. You quickly took her face in your hands, examining the injured area surrounding her eye. She looked down at her feet, avoiding your intent gaze.
"Are you okay? How did this happen?" you asked, concerned for your friend. You knew Nika was tough and could sustain a lot on the court, but this looked like it hurt. Badly.
When her eyes met yours, you saw so much emotion swimming in them.
"It was an accident at practice. Coach said I can still play in the upcoming game, but I'm just so pissed at myself for letting it happen."
Her large hands left her side to place on your waist. You tried to push down the damn immediate butterflies you felt at the simple action.
"I didn't even go to the trainer- I came straight here. I'm gonna get so much shit from coach tomorrow, but I don't care." Your breath hitched in your throat at the confession, but annoyance also rose at the girl's carelessness.
"Just wanted to see you," she said quietly, her lips forming the cutest unconscious pout.
"Nika!" you swatted her arm, immediately taking her by the hand to lead her to the bathroom. You rummaged through your medicine cabinet, immediately cleaning the wound on Nika's face before grabbing some ice.
The Croatian towered over you, wincing a little as you applied pressure on the freshly formed black and blue. "So..." you began. "Are you going to tell me more about how this actually happened?" you gently inquired.
Nika's brown eyes met yours again. "I was.... distracted, I guess. Paige ended up completely elbowing me in the face," she laughed meekly.
"Distracted? During basketball?" you asked, brow quirking up. "That doesn't sound like you at all," you said. You knew how passionate Nika got during practices- always giving her best effort no matter the time or place.
"Got a lot on my mind lately I guess" she said under her breath. Her eyes darted down to your lips discreetly and back up to your eyes.
The close proximity and the way Nika was staring you down began to make you nervous, and Nika could tell. You cleared your throat before you began speaking again,
"Oh? Like what kinda stuff?" you asked, now avoiding the other girl's line of sight. You pretended to seem disinterested and unsurprised, but Nika wasn't buying what you were selling. She knew you better than you knew yourself.
With a small smile, she removed your hand that was holding the bag of ice from her face, placing it on the bathroom counter. Her now free hand grabbed your waist, pulling you closer into her, while the other brushed a fallen piece of hair to rest behind your ear.
"Well, you see..." she started. "There's this one girl that has just not left my mind. No matter how hard I try, I just keep thinking about her." Her hand began to rub small circles on your hip, soothing both herself and you. "So much so that I got a black eye for it," she said. That same small smile you loved so much adorning her plush lips.
You felt like your heart could burst at her words and the way she was holding you. The realization that your friend felt the same was still sinking in, but Nika was done waiting.
"So... think you can kiss it better for me?" she said with a smirk, cupping your jaw before finally bringing her lips to yours.
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msbluebell · 7 months
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How We Fall For People Like James Somerton
We're all joking, but this James Somerton thing has me really fucked up.
I wasn't a huge fan of James. I saw a few of his videos and liked them. In the ones I saw he was calm and explained things straightforwardly and even the one or two times he said things against white women...well, that's language I've been seeing on Tumblr since I joined back in my tweenage years. I thought it was just a dismissive joke pointing out a frank reality.
I didn't watch him too much. Just a few videos. I kept meaning to watch more, but I didn't because sometimes I wanted something easier. But I regarded him sell because of how informed he seemed.
And that's the thing, isn't it? He SEEMED informed. He spoke confidently and sometimes quoted queer sounding articles and I trusted him blindly. And why? Because he was giving me information that SEEMED well researched.
Illumanaughtii too. I WAS a consistent fan of hers before other youtubers came out. Because she presented information really well and I like hand drawn characters and because she read academic sounding quotes. I trusted her and her information was stollen. And I feel like a fool for ever having trusted her now, but at least her stollen facts were apparently accurate. Maybe.
James though, he straight up lied. Todd in the Shadows went through a lot of effort to expose those lies. He did so much research that I didn't bother to do. And he admitted he only did it because he happened to know people more informed than him that noticed the lies and went down a rabbit hole.
And maybe if I was more involved I would have noticed. But that's beside the point. what's getting me is I didn't bother to check myself, I just blindly trusted.
And the worst part is I can see why it happened.
I work.
I work, and then I get home, and when I get home I stress. I stress about work I have to do tomorrow, or classes, or finding a new job that actually pays a livable wage. And to escape that stress I go online to AO3, or tumblr, but especially Youtube.
Because I like youtube, I like to have noise in the background while I work. I like to listen to things while I read. And some of the time it's ASMR videos, or watching someone cook something. But mostly? It's history things or video essays.
And when I'm working, or reading, I'll hear a fact, and I'll look up, and I'll think "Huh, that's interesting to know, I didn't know that." And I won't think anything about it.
Because I'm busy, or I'm tired. I'm tired from work, and I don't want to do more work. Or sometimes it's mental health. This is my coping mechanism. I'm trying to learn things, do something to distract myself. I'm not looking to disprove things.
In other words I'm lazy. Or, if I'm being kind to myself, I'm tired.
Maybe if the topic was something I was an expert in I would have noticed. I'm a former ballerina, I'm a failed history major dropout. Maybe if he'd said something like "Holodomor never happened" or "Boudica is a Finnish folk hero" I'd have noticed. Maybe.
But he didn't, and I didn't notice. I assumed he did the work, and why?
Because surely a gay man wouldn't spend hours on youtube talking about Queer history if he wasn't passionate. Because he, a queer man, would surely know about queer history. Surely he wouldn't want to spread lies and hate. And he's quoting from books and articles so why wouldn't I trust him?
My trust was blind and unfounded.
And now I'm reeling from that. I'm reeling because I'm starting to feel like I can't trust a lot of people. How can I listen to any Youtuber casually now?
I can't, I never should have assumed I could.
Now every informative video feels like I need to do tens of hours of research just to be sure what I'm hearing is true. I feel like I can't trust anything unless I do.
James Somerton took my trust.
And it's not only that either. That's not what scares me the most. It's that there are THOUSANDS of people like me. Millions like me. Who are learning something from a video or a tweet or a tumblr post from someone they assume is an expert and are blindly trusting because they assume they can trust it. They don't intend to do their own research because they're tired, or don't know how. And that scars me. I was a history major, I studied tyrants and misinformation and the rise of propaganda, and I, with all my tools to notice, was still blind.
You cannot blindly trust a video, you cannot blindly trust a tweet, you especially cannot blindly trust a tumblr post.
YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPOGANDA
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remcycl333 · 7 months
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my sp story <3
hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol
but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it
then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!
anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough
and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!
so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality
so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?
if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)
ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!
if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:
it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol
anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.
another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!
so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.
you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.
anyway. back to my sp story!
so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!
anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭
it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha
anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.
with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.
the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d
another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.
and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.
NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!
he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.
anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed
anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3
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cherrychilli · 7 months
Text
Slip of the Tongue
A mini series I 18+ I Enemies to lovers
Chapter one
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Eddie Munson, AFAB reader, neighbor! reader.
Reader and Eddie are the same age - she's in College and he's repeating his senior year once again.
Chapter Summary: You discover that Eddie's been practicing a very interesting new trick on his guitar, one which he offers to use on you under the guise of giving you some much needed stress relief.
A/N: Listen, series scare the shit out of me but I'm trying to challenge myself with a tiny one. I kind of already feel like I'm biting off more than I can chew but I'm going to give it my best shot.
Inspired by those clips of Steve Vai and Jimi Hendrix. ifkyk.
Chapter warnings: Nothing explicit this chapter. Some suggestive stuff but the real smut begins next chapter, so if you want more you better let me know!
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“Are you fucking kidding me?”
He's doing it again. Of course he's doing it again.
You tilt your head forward, forehead dropping into your hands. Heatedly, you mutter your annoyance under your breath, thumbs rubbing at throbbing temples and eyes squeezing shut when the music picks up to an ear ringing volume.
Eddie Munson took sick pleasure in riling you up – you were certain of that given how he only ever seemed to plug in his guitar when it was time for you to study your coursework, wrecking your concentration and making your temper skyrocket with a kind of ease only he was capable of.
For years, you’d taken issue with the fact that your trailer neighbored his own, your bedroom becoming an echo chamber for every blaring chord progression and heavily distorted guitar riff that strummed out from Eddie's open window.
And as always, you felt the need to make your displeasure known.
Abandoning your textbooks, you hastily shove your shoes on to stomp over next door. You knew from painful experience that it was best to head behind the Munson’s trailer and approach Eddie’s bedroom window than to pound on the front door, the sound of his playing almost always too loud for him to notice your knocking.
Trampling over the patchy, dry lawn that lay between your homes, you made your way across, rounding the corner and striding up to the open window, fuming with thoughts of what you’d yell at him this time when you caught sight of the metalhead.
As expected, he's rocking out in the center of his unruly bedroom. No doubt having tuned the rest of the world out, channeling so much of his wild, boundless energy into his playing.
His mop of dark messy curls aren't tied back today, allowed to sway, tumble and whip around his face as he played to an audience of some devilish looking posters and a couple figurines that stood on his crowded desk, probably a part of that fantasy game he's always going on about.
He's dressed in grey sweats that hang low around his hips and a ratty old band tee that tended to ride up, you couldn't help but notice.
‘At least he’s got clothes on today’, you thought to yourself mirthlessly, only a touch thankful for the silver lining of not having to confront him while he's shirtless or in his boxers again. Not that he’d ever minded you seeing him like that before.
Your last encounter with Eddie was one you hoped to soon forget, cringing because he'd caught your gaze wandering when you came over to reprimand him for the noise again, becoming noticeably distracted by his bare chest and the tattoos adorning it.
You don't know how it happened, only that you fell into a sort of daze when your eyes slipped lower to follow the slope of his pale tummy, leading to the sparse trail of dark hair which thickened below his belly button and disappeared underneath the waistband of his boxers.
D'you want a picture or something, darling?, he'd quipped, growing even more pleased with himself when your face turned hot and the embarrassment of getting caught had you stuttering out the first thing you could manage.
"F-fuck off, Munson", you spit back and retreated awkwardly, the sound of his barking laughter as you did so ringing in your ears long after you made it back into your room and hid underneath your blankets for a good hour.
Yeah, that was hard to live down. As was trying to expunge the image of Eddie's unclothed torso from your mind.
Most times he could anticipate your arrival, like a lightning storm only he could forecast but this time he hasn’t seemed to noticed you yet, tongue pinched between his lips in concentration while his fingers travelled skillfully over the ebony fretboard of his guitar.
Watching him play like that sometimes made you think that if he hadn't plagued you for half your life with all of his antics, you might have admitted that he was good musician - that he had talent most people didn't care to acknowledge and maybe even go so far as to say that you found it impressive that he’d managed teach himself how to play in lieu of any lessons.
But you weren’t about to sing Eddie Munson's praises. Not when he was seconds away from making you pop a vein.
Taking a deep breath in, you prepared yourself to start the unpleasant cycle of bickering with your neighbor once again, hoping against hope that, at the very least, it'll be a short exchange this time.
“Ed-"
You meant to catch his attention with a single shout but the heated call flattens on your tongue in an instant, heart beat kicking up as you watch what he does next.
He lifts his treasured Warlock and you're half afraid for him when he casually flips the front of the instrument towards his face, its angular design and jagged edges enough to worry you even when he played on it the regular way.
But it's when his tongue stretches out, long and slick like a serpent, that things start to feel...hazy. Speechlessly, you stare as he slides it along one of the guitar's six strings, following the length of it from near the bottom of the fretboard while his left hand continued to flit over the strings by the neck, creating harmonics in a way you’d never thought was possible before.
Are my palms sweating?
The sound begins to shift again and your eyes bulge when he slides his tongue back down, flicking and picking the guitar strings by the tip of it with more speed and dexterity than you'd thought was possible, his fingers continuing to move seamlessly to hold down every note.
Eyes closed (and there was no chance of you letting that happen) there was no way you could've told the difference than if he’d been playing with his fingers all along, the sound just as sharp and crisp as as every time before.
It's filthy, bordering on vulgar the way he’s moving the silky pink muscle so expertly, so much so that it makes you feel like you're intruding, peeping in on something that only happened behind closed doors.
But that gnawing feeling isn't anywhere near enough to make you stop looking. Your gaze stays planted firmly on Eddie's mouth, the sight making your head crowd with static and your belly swirl with heat. Your thighs had been clamped together too, you realize, a sickening realization dawning over you when they rub together, registering the dampness pooling between them underneath your skirt.
Oh my god…am I w-?
And just as abruptly as the realization had sunk in, the song ends. Deafening silence returns to your shared corner of the trailer park when Eddie sets the guitar back down to hang by the strap fixed over his shoulder, eyes flicking to you as if he'd known all along that you'd been standing there, gawking at him.
"So, what do you think? pretty good, right? been working on it for weeks", he pants out, chest rising and falling softly with each labored breath.
Somehow, this feels so much worse than when he caught you staring the last time.
With luck, you're able to shake yourself out of your trance like state, round eyes narrowing in preparation to berate him as originally intended
"Fucking hell, Eddie would you keep it down? I'm trying to study!", you agonize, scrambling to find your fury again.
But your tone doesn’t seem to bother him, it rarely ever did. So he leans through the open window, elbows resting on the window pane, eyeing you up and down all amused.
"You look stressed", he observes, and it's the flippant way in which he does it that ticks you off, with the kind of lopsided smile you’d often described as annoying. For the most part because he’d almost always done something to that effect before flashing you one.
"I am", you confirm with an acidic glare, hoping he couldn't tell how frazzled his little performance had left you.
"And you're not helping so knock it off"
Turning on your heel, you're desperate to retreat back to your place for a reprieve, heart hammering inside your chest when he calls out to you again.
"I could help you relax, y'know"
The way he says it makes you pause, like he's about to let you in on a secret.
Your skin prickles with goosebumps. "I'm not buying weed from you Eddie", you answer back over your shoulder, trying to look unimpressed as you attempt to turn him down.
"I wouldn't charge", the boy winks at you without missing a beat, undeterred by your cold attitude and you hate that his persistence makes your face feel hot.
"But that's not what I was going to suggest"
"Oh?"
You turn around to face him again, intrigue building.
He takes a moment to scan you thoughtfully, brows furrowing, almost as if he's weighing the outcomes of what might happen if he were to continue.
"You liked what you saw, right?", his brown eyes flicked down to his guitar and back up to you in quick reference to what you were hoping to avoid.
The mention of what you'd witnessed him doing with his tongue brings that hot, sticky feeling sitting at the base of your stomach back in full force, alarm bells ringing in your head.
"What does that have to do with anything?", you ask cautiously, realizing a second too late that you’ve only confirmed his suspicion.
"Well..."
Eddie curls a finger up at you, rings glinting in the sunlight, beckoning you closer and for some reason you actually oblige, stepping up to his window until you’re only a foot apart from one another.
Low and throaty, he whispers to you. "I can do a lot more with my tongue than just shred on my guitar", flicking the muscle salaciously between his lips like a viper ready to strike.
It should revolt you, watching the crude gesture courtesy of the bane next door, the implication behind it enough to make your skin crawl.
So why doesn't it?
Why does it make you want to leap at him and close the distance between the two of you, hungry to feel his tongue against your own?
"You're disgusting", you tell him instead in an attempt to deflect, voice wavering through the lie.
But he's too astute to be fooled now. "And you like it", he counters easily.
"So are you going to cut the bullshit and climb in here or what?"
You stare at the hand he holds out to you and before you can think to just walk away, before you can pull yourself together and stifle the roaring fire inside lapping at your bones, your fingers have found their way to his.
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bagerfluff · 4 months
Note
Nico Di Angelo x Will Solace x Son of Chaos reader?
AN: Thank you for requesting and I hope you like this. I also took the liberty of picking my own prompt since you didn't give me one so I hope you are okay with that. It is perfectly okay to not give a request without a prompt but that just means I pick one myself.
Chaos Follows You, But We Don't Care
Nico di Angelo x Will Solace x Son of Chaos Reader
Prompt - Angry Confessions
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You didn't know what you were doing.
You were currently sitting on a high branch in a tree. You had ran here after the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you. You've been here for a couple hours and you were still scared and embarrassed.
You want to know what happened?
You might have confessed to your two closest best friends. Nico and Will. They were your friends since you first came to camp. You've been friends with them for years. And you've had a crush on the both of them for as long.
You always knew you liked guys and that you were Polyamorous, but why did you have to fall in love with both of them. It was even worse when they told you that they were dating. It made you feel like a third wheel.
It hurt.
But you couldn't tell them; they didn't love you like you loved them. So you kept it hidden. No matter how much it hurt. Watching them act all lovey dovey. It made you a little sick. The pain in your heart when you watched them.
You couldn't even describe it.
So one day when you were hanging out with them at the beach, the sun beating down on your skin. The sounds of the crashing waves. The whispers of Nico and Will. It was pretty shitty. You were sitting a few feet to their left.
They weren't even talking to you. They were your friends, but they were too distracted with each other. You started to get angry and you yelled. You stood up and yelled at the two boys about how you loved them. But how it hurt that they didn't love you back and how they ignored you.
After you were done yelling you realized what you had said you had ran. You took one look and Nico's shocked face and Will's sad one and ran. You ran, even when you heard Will calling for you, you ran till you found this tree and climbed up it.
You've been here ever since.
You didn't want to go back. You didn't want to face Nico and Will. You didn't want them to have to tell you that they didn't love you like that. You didn't want them to tell you that you couldn't be their friends any more. So you stayed here.
Even when you heard the dinner bell you didn't move. You were fine. Though you were hungry you didn't move. You felt like crying. You blew it. You were going to lose your only friends. You made chaos. You did what every one you would do.
You were a son of Chaos. Her name said what she did just fine. That's why people were never your friends. Even before you knew you were a demigod, you made chaos. Everywhere you went chaos followed like a lost puppy.
You always made a mess of things and added stress to everyone's day. You never meant to, you were a kid. But people didn't know that. They thought you did it on purpose. Even when you found out you were a demigod.
People were still wary of you.
Nobody talked to you, nobody went near you. You tried to stop the chaos you made. You tried to stop your powers. You had the powers to cause chaos from nothing. But that never worked. Chaos was all that you knew and you were fine with it.
That was until you met Nico and Will.
Since there was no cabin for you they just placed you in Hermes. But since the Hermes kids didn't like that a claimed kid was with them, plus you made lots of chaos that they didn't like. Chiron had placed you in Hades cabin. Nico was rarely there and it was away from everyone.
So you met Nico first. He knew what it was like to be an outcast. He talked to you and he didn't mind when you made chaos. He even helped you control it. Nico was kind and understanding. He was a nice person to talk to when you needed someone to listen for a bit.
Nico was fun to hang out with. You both were outcasts so you two got along well. You both scared the shit out of campers. Especially new campers that saw the two of you leaning or sitting by a tree in the shadows.
Then you met Will. Some people decided that it would be fun to hurt you. They would try a little harder to knock you down during sword practice. People would miss fire really close to you during target practice. So every once and a while you would show up at the infirmary with a new bruise or cut.
Will would be the one who would patch you up most of the time. He said that he heard about you from Nico because they were friends. That might have made you blush. So you and Will got to talking since Nico was friends with you both.
Will was really nice and he really cared about his friends. Will was like a ray of sunshine. He brightened up your day whenever you see him. Especially when you walk into of the infirmary. Since you were all friends you started to hang out with the both of them.
It was hard since Nico was rarely at Camp Half-Blood and Will always worked but you guys managed it. Some of your best memories were with the both of them. They were your best and only friends. You loved them more then anything.
Now you were going to lose them.
Tears started to fall out of your eyes and onto your lap. You tried to stop them but they were coming whether you liked it or not. You started to quietly sob and you brought your knees to your chest. You wrapped your arms around your legs and placed your head on top of them.
You cried onto your knees but you stopped when you heard a twig snap. You glanced down to see Nico and Will looking around. Why were they here? Were they looking for you? You stayed quiet. You didn't want them to find you. You weren't ready for them to break the news to you.
You weren't ready to lose the ones you loved.
Unfortunately that didn't last long because Nico looked up and saw you in the tree. You and Nico held eye contact until Nico grabbed Will's hand and pointed up at you. Will looked at Nico for a second before following Nico's finger up to you.
Nico and Will looked at you while you looked at them. The boys on the ground looked at each other. "Hey Y/n? Do you want to come down?" Will asked. Will was always better at calming your nerves. He knew what to say to calm you down. Nico tried but it never really worked.
But it was the thought that counted.
"N-no", you said with a wavering voice. You didn't want to talk but you knew you had too. "Okay. we'll wait", Will yelled up and you watched as Nico and Will walked over to the base of the tree and sat down. You could tell that they were talking to each other but you couldn't hear them.
You needed to talk to them. You needed to bite the bullet and get this over with. Though the thought of that made more tears slip out of your eyes. You wiped them away and started to make your way down the tree. It took a bit but before you knew it you were standing in front of Nico and Will.
Nico looked a little scared while Will still looked sad. You sat down criss cross in front of them and stared at them. None of you spoke. You were scared and something told you that they were too. "Do you know why we're here Y/n", Will asked.
You knew but you didn't want to say it so you nodded. "We're not mad Y/n", Nico said. It was the first time he had spoke and you could tell from his voice that Nico was scared. "In fact we wanted to tell you something", Will said.
This was it.
You were about to lose your friends. You got ready to run away after they said it. You placed your hands on the ground and closed your eyes. You couldn't look at them while they did this. You heard more whispering and heard moving. Then you felt something touch both of your cheeks.
It felt like a kiss.
You vaguely remember your father placing a kiss on your cheek before he left for work. You opened your eyes and looked at Nico and Will with a shocked expression. They were now sitting a foot in front of you. They both had a smile on their face. Will's was bigger Nico's was bigger but they both looked really happy.
"Wha-", you tried to ask what happened but Will and Nico both spoke, cutting you off. "We like you too". You were so happy and shocked, and still a little sad. This was so much that you started to cry again. You didn't know why but you did.
Nico and Wil got a little scared but you were quick to ease their worries. "No I'm fine I'm just", you didn't even know what to say. Will smiled again and pulled you and Nico into a hug. You and Nico were shocked but you both hugged back.
They liked you back. You were so happy. Will pulled away and looked at you, "we're sorry for making you feel like that". Will was referring to when you were scared and how you felt when you left them. "It's fine, as long as I get a kiss as an apology", you smiled at the both of them.
Will let out a little laugh but kissed you any way. You smiled, it was quick because you heard Nico's grumble. You pulled away and kissed Nico too. "Does this mean were dating?" You asked and Nico rolled his eyes. "yes Y/n, we are all boyfriends", you smiled again.
Nico and Will loved you, chaos and all.
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ctrlsht · 8 months
Text
Fragment of the Past 01
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pairing: patient!jungkook x psychiatrist!reader genre: thriller & yandere au
summary: You are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.
chapter summary: As you get to know your patient, Jeon Jungkook, you begin to notice that something is wrong with him, until the day he confesses to you what really happened during the night of the incident.
chapter warnings: mention of PTSD and depression, mention of hatred towards the family, mention of murder. This chapter is the only chapter that isn’t too heavy. word count: 8K
note: This fiction will contain multiple mental disorders and psychology facts. I conducted my own research to avoid spreading misinformation, but there may be aspects I've overlooked, so I am open for any corrections.
"Dr. Y/N, your next patient is already waiting outside. Shall I invite him in?" Soyeon asked while holding the doorknob, your office door slightly ajar. You leaned back in your swivel chair, glancing at the clock hanging beside the door. Soyeon stood patiently, awaiting your response.
“It’s still 2:30 and my next session is 3 o’clock. He arrived early?” 
“Yes, he did. In fact, he already arrived at 2. Although he mentioned not informing you since it’s still early.” 
You looked at the clock once again and contemplated your decision. You still have 30 minutes before the new session starts but you’re not going to do anything, anyway. Just like your next patient, you’re just waiting for the clock to strike at 3. 
“Let him in. We’ll just start early.”
After a few moments, the door opened once again and a tall muscular man entered the room. His movements are slow like he has all the time in the world and when he faced you, his eyes sparkled, and he offered a subdued smile without revealing his teeth. He removed his black ball cap and extended his hand, presenting you with a box of cake.
“Good afternoon, doc. I’m sorry I’m too early from the original schedule but I got you a strawberry cake. Heard that you love them.” He said.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind. Thank you and it’s nice to see that you’re in a good mood, Jungkook.” You smiled and reached the box of cake that he gave you. He smiled even wider as he removed his leather jacket and you immediately saw his full sleeve tattoo on his right arm. They were beautiful. It perfectly suits him. 
“Thanks, doc. I’m happy that I didn’t dream about ‘that’ nightmare and I believe it’s because of the medicine that you prescribe me. You help me a lot.” He responds, sitting on the white sofa facing your desk.
When he is settled down on the couch in front of your office table, you press the ‘record’ button of your phone. You record your session with your patient for your advantage. It helps you review and recall  the discussion that you had with them, and it’s useful whenever you’re writing a book. Having the recordings allows you to convey your words more precisely.
Of course, you always ask for their consent to record the conversation. However, there are patients who do not agree with it, and in such cases, you still record them. They wouldn't know, would they?
“Well, that’s good to know.” You said and got the folder placed on the side of your table and opened it. It’s the record of him for you to easily navigate his diagnoses. “Are you still visiting the gym like I’ve recommended to you?” 
“Yes I do and it helps me to distract my mind to what happened. Going back to the gym helps me a lot, honestly. It’s hard to push myself to go back at first but as I was in there, it became easier.” His smile is like a pill that can light anyone’s mood. It is so bright and contagious. No one will guess that he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. He witnessed how his mother died in front of him exactly six months ago and he suffers a lot. He’s unable to talk for weeks after the incident happened and was advised to attend psychotherapy. 
Right now, he has made significant progress, and you're glad about it. Throughout your sessions with him, you've observed how he copes with his trauma and understands what's going on in his mind. It's a major trauma for him to witness what happened to his mother. According to studies, women are more likely to develop PTSD than men, and you've handled multiple cases with women experiencing PTSD. However, in your years in this career, he is the only man you've treated with this specific diagnosis. It's a new experience for you, especially since it's your first encounter with a male patient with this condition. You've conducted extensive research, but there are still things your patient does that contradict what you've read.
“During the weekends, I spend all night reading your book, Dr. Y/N and it helps me so much. Plus, it’s good and I love it. I can’t wait for you to release the book that you’re writing right now. When did you plan on releasing them?” He crosses his legs as he looks at you with so much adoration. 
“I haven’t finished writing it so I haven’t planned the date of release.” you replied, turning your attention back to the folder in your hand. “I’m glad that my books help you. Do you think that you’ve already overcome your trauma with the event that happened?” You looked at him and the smile that he had seconds ago was gone. His lips were formed into a straight line and he stared at you. It only happens for seconds and he immediately brings his bright expression once again.
“I’m not quite sure about that, Dr. Y/N. I may be happy right now, but later on, I’ll remember the tragic event once again.” He responded. 
“It’s okay. It really happens. Healing from your trauma doesn’t happen in a short period of time. But eventually, you’ll be okay. It may not be right now nor tomorrow but one day,” you assured him.
“Will you leave me after I completely heal, Doc?” he leaned forward, his gaze intense.  You didn’t respond right away and waited if he’s about to add more with his statement but turns out, he’s also waiting for your response.
“Well, that’s quite the opposite, Jungkook. You’ll be the one to leave me after our final session comes to an end.” You tried to smile. “And as your doctor, I genuinely want you to heal and move on to continue living with your life.” 
“Then I’m not quite sure if I’ll be happy for our final session to come to an end.”
You achieved success as a psychiatrist and book author within just four years of your career. Your excellence in your work is a result of the praises you've received from people. You've built a strong reputation and you're determined to maintain it. While you may be at the top now, you know there's still a long road ahead. You're committed to continuing to excel in what you do and to break numerous records.. 
The day has finally ended and you are still inside your office room as you continue on writing your ongoing book. The paradox of choice. You’ve released three books and this is going to be your fourth one. You’ve been pouring your blood, sweat and tears in every book that you’ve released resulting in its success and you’re confident that this ongoing book will be the same. 
You have nothing else to do except to work 24/7. You’ve been doing this for the past four years already and you have no problem with it. In fact, you love everything you do. But there are people who’s against your life cycle. 
As you type on your laptop, your phone chimes, seeing a notification from your friend, Taehyung. He's been your friend since you were in diapers.
Taehyung: You’re not at home. Where are you?
You: Clinic. Why?
Taehyung: what the. At this hour?
You didn’t respond because you figured out that he doesn’t have anything to do but to disturb you and honestly, you don’t have the time for that. 
Taehyung: Join me for dinner. It’s on me.
You: Can’t you eat by yourself and you have to treat me just for you to have dinner?
Taehyung: You talked as if we’re not friends. Come on, Y/N. I know you love your job but don’t wait until you are the one who becomes a patient.
Taehyung doesn’t understand you. You’re doing what you love and you don’t have a problem with it yet he thought that you were drowning yourself with work. You can choose what you want and you choose to burn yourself from work. You don’t have any problems with it. 
You decide to fix your things and get ready for Taehyung to pick you up. As much as you love your career, you also cherish your friendship with him. He's your only friend, and you don't want to lose him. You've come to consider him as family.
“My father is asking me again if I can now run the business in New York." Taehyung said as he got the pork belly from the grill and placed it in his bowl of rice before he put it together in his mouth. 
“Tell him you haven't decided." You respond subconsciously while wrapping the pork in the lettuce and eat it. 
“What amazing advice coming from a therapist herself.” Taehyung smirked.
"What is your decision then?"
"I don't really know, Y/N." He released a deep breath and continued. "I do want to manage it but I can't. I love what I'm doing right now."
Since his teenage years, Taehyung has been destined to inherit his father's assets, including the family company. However, Taehyung chose a different path and became a successful musician and artist. He's content with his career until his father reminds him of his obligation to take over the family's oil company in New York. He has been wrestling with this difficult situation for years and has yet to find a solution.
“Try to do both.” You suggest while having a mouthful of pork belly. 
“I don’t know if you’re fucking with me or what but damn, Y/N. If you’re my therapist, I’ll immediately leave your clinic and find another one.” Taehyung rolled his eyes and you tried not to laugh. "I can't choose both and you know that!" 
You do want to help your friend to get out of this situation but the only thing you can do is give emotional and moral support because you don't have control over his family. You do feel sorry for him but you can't do much. 
"The conflict between personal desires and altruistic choices has been common in dealing with ethical dilemmas. Choosing a decision between what you want and what your father wants that will be beneficial for the majority is quite a difficult situation and you need to weigh them according to how you see it. Your father has been there for you and in return, he wants you to handle his business not only for the benefit of him but also for you." You pause and take a bite of kimchi before you continue. "But you wanted to keep pursuing the career you have right now. It's a personal gain. It's up to you if you become selfish or selfless." 
Many researchers have presented real-life ethical dilemmas and case studies to understand how people navigate decisions that involve personal desires and the welfare of others. These studies often highlight the complexity and context-dependency of such choices which is what Taehyung is experiencing right now. 
If you were to decide with his situation, you'd choose to continue with his career that he has right now. Life is too short to become selfless. What society makes people believe can result in each and everyone's failure. 
If he chooses to do what his father wants, it won't guarantee success, as he has no clue about running their business. And even if he manages to muster the passion to understand how it works, he might not only fail himself but also disappoint his father.
You ended the night with Taehyung bringing you back to the clinic to get your car. It was nice catching up with him once in a while and hopefully, it won't happen often. Taehyung has known you since forever and he knows that even if you love him, you will still choose your work over him. 
You were about to open the door of the driver seat of your car when you felt something. Or more of someone. 
You don't hear any noise coming from afar or nearby and you're certain that you're the only one who is at the parking lot in front of the clinic but you feel like there is a pair of eyes that's watching you. You're facing the two-story building of the clinic and catch sight of anyone but the only thing you see is a light coming from the entrance and nothing else. 
You slowly turn around to see the surroundings and the only thing you see is a quiet night street illustrated by a few streetlights. There is no one, yet you can still feel that pair of eyes looking at you. 
You weren't sure if it's because of overworking or the alcohol you've consumed tonight but you're certain that one of it is the reason why you are having this kind of imagination. 
“Good morning, Yunjin. You look pale today. What’s wrong?” You looked at your patient that’s seated across the sofa in front of you. Her lips were paper thin and she continuously blinked her eyes. Yunjin is a 25-year old diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder and she's been your patient for a year already. Being diagnosed with depression can cause a lot of factors including imbalances in brain chemicals like serotonin and norepinephrine. These imbalances can occur in anyone, regardless of their external circumstances. In Yunjin’s situation, it’s caused by her genes and hormones and most likely, she inherited from her family.
Yunjin came from a well known family and her life is what every person dreams to have. She already has everything yet she still suffers with depression. 
Not because a person has a wealthy and happy life doesn’t mean they do not encounter problems. 
“It’s happening again. I’ve lost track of my motivation to continue painting.” She speaks hoarsely. “Last week, I’m pouring all my hardwork and energy into what I’m working on but now, I’ve messed up. And I don’t even know why I am doing this because my work is mediocre in the first place.”
“You know that’s not true, Yunjin. Your paintings are amazing. I love them so much, especially the one you gave me.” You said carefully.
“No, you don’t understand. My works are trash compared to others.” Her voice is already trembling—on the verge of crying.
“Everyone has a unique and creative way to express their works. Not because you think that the works of others are more creative means yours are not. Your paintings are a masterpiece, Yunjin and I won’t get tired of reminding you about that.”
Yunjin is one of your patients who is incredibly transparent. She is consistently honest and open about her feelings, and you have played a significant role in nurturing this honesty.  Over your years of being a psychotherapist, you’ve encountered thousands of patients with different problems and diagnosis. You’ve known the ins and outs of them and you’ve mastered the meaning of every action they’ve made and words they’ve said. You also know if they’re telling the truth or not and you can spot it within a single session. 
That’s what you’re known—for being an excellent psychiatrist. 
However, you’re not yet perfect and still working with your skills. You know that you’re already great but there is still room for improvement. 
Not because you’re confident with how you read your patients means that it’s the truth. Sometimes, they deceive you and that’s a case that you have to improve with yourself.
It’s almost five and a few moments from now, you’ll have your last patient for the day. The truth is, you’re already exhausted with all the work you did today and given that it’s friday. Tomorrow, it’s a rest day, therefore, things should be done until today if you want to enjoy the weekend. But in your case, you’ll most probably work with the book you’re currently writing. 
Jeon Jungkook is your last patient for the day and hopefully, after the session, both of you will feel relief. 
“Hello, Dr. Y/N. You look so tired. Are you okay?” Jungkook asked you as he removed his bomber jacket revealing his full sleeve tattoo. He has a taste in fashion and it suits him so well. With his tall and muscular body, he can wear anything and still look stunning. Beside his body build, Jungkook is handsome. With his beautiful doe eyes and perfect smile, he can captivate anyone. And it’s something that you should be cautious about. 
“I’m fine, Jungkook. You don’t have to worry about me.” You slightly smile and insist him to sit on the sofa. “Please take a seat. How are you?” You try to energize your voice to hide your exhaustion. 
"Today was supposed to be great until one of my employees messed around at work. His name is Bryan, and ever since he got hired, he's been getting on my nerves. If it weren't for the fact that he's my uncle's son, I would have fired him right from the beginning," he began, settling into his seat.
“What happened?”
“He lost the memory card of the camera I used from the photoshoot yesterday and now, we had to redo the shoot.” His eyebrows scrunch as he tightens his lips. 
“Your feelings are valid, Jungkook. It’s okay to feel that way. What you can do to control your emotions when you’re in that situation is to leave and take a break where you can breathe.”
“You’re right. But now, I feel okay. Relief even. I just fired him from being incompetent. Someone like him doesn’t belong in my studio, anyway.”
You take a pause to look at him. He looks at you with a blank stare and when he does that, he’s unbothered or doesn’t care. You admit that he’s not easy to read but you’ve learned to master his gesture and there is something about him that feels off. 
“Can you tell me why his action results in you firing him?”
“Because he’s useless and I don’t need useless people in my team.” He responds like the answer is already obvious.
“Don’t you think that he can improve?” His gaze intensifies and after a moment, he smirks.
“My studio is not a training ground, Dr. Y/N. It’s a place where you should already master what you’re doing.” His fingers move in his lips to play with it, eyes still bore at you.
“I’ve established my business from the scratch and I’ve poured my blood sweat and tears just for my business to be in where it is now. Perhaps, I have the right to do anything that's better for my studio. I know what my worth is. Don’t you think, Dr. Y/N?” 
He’s full of himself. But you didn’t say that.
“Well, you have a point, Jungkook. But you’re the one who said it. Your studio is made from scratch and perhaps, you know what being in your lowest point feels like.” You try to smile genuinely. “It’s okay to know your worth and at the same time, look back where you came from.” You looked at his medical records and proceeded. “How’s your condition? Are you still experiencing anxiety?”
“30 minutes ago. When I was traveling to get here.” 
“Why? What’s running in your mind?” He wiggled his ankle and continued to play with his lips, thinking of the answer.
“I was nervous during the ride. I don’t know but sometimes, you make me feel nervous.” He let out a playful chuckle. 
“Why?”
“The fact that you knew everything about me makes me feel something. You’ve known everything about me yet I don’t know a single thing about you.” You don’t understand what's his point so you try to laugh to ease the heavy feeling you feel right now.
“Of course, you knew me, Jungkook. You’ve mentioned that you knew me even before the session started.” You give him a smile and you put down the folder that you are holding right now.
"Yeah, I know you, Doc. Everyone knows you. I'm aware of everything that's public about you. What I want to know is who Dr. Y/N is without her MD and PhD. What do you do during your days off, and what are your hobbies besides helping people with their problems?" He glanced at the wall beside you, where a painting of you hangs. It's a picture of you that people can see in your books, a gift from Yunjin. 
You’ve known Jeon Jungkook with his traumas and all however, you don’t know what he’s up to right now. He entered your clinic being a fragile person with his traumas and right now, it felt like you’re talking to another person. Maybe because this is him without his diagnosis. 
And you don’t know how to feel about it. 
It’s a photoshoot day for a magazine featuring you as a doctor and an author as well. It’s a media organization focusing on psychology and human behavior and you’re delighted to be featured for the upcoming magazine. You’ve already featured in some magazine but this time, it’s different because it’s ‘Psychology Today.’ 
You’re now on your way going to the studio with your team along with your agent, Kim. You seem to look calm and relax but deep down, nervousness is wrapping your insides. It is by far the biggest media organization where you will be featured and it’s another achievement of yours. 
As you get out of your car, you weren’t surprised that the location where the photoshoot is going to be held is this enormous. It’s a four-story building located at the center of the city. You’re not sure if the media organization also owns this but as you looked at the name of the building, it looks like it isn’t.
GCF Studio
As you enter the building, you are greeted by enthusiastic guards and staff, which motivates you even more for this shoot with them. The interior is minimalist, with the entire first floor being plain white. When you walk through the glass door, the first thing you see is the reception desk. To the right, there are couches and a coffee table where people can wait, and to the left, there's a cafeteria. You walk straight ahead toward the elevator, and one of your assistants presses the button for the third floor.
As the elevator door opened, you were greeted by a hallway with various doors, clearly indicating it's a working area where the shoot takes place. You walk a few steps before entering through double doors, where you find a bustling room filled with people busy at work. It resembles a dressing room but on a larger scale, with various outfits hanging, and several vanity mirrors where people can prepare for their shoot. It's fantastic.
“Good morning Dr. Y/N. Before we proceed with the shoot, I’d like to discuss with you what look you’ll be having for today. You also have full control of what you would like to look at and we’re here to assist you.” You are greeted by a young male with full of feminine energy. He’s tall and petite wearing a white blouse and a sweater that is hanging on his shoulder. He leads the way and you smile before you follow him. 
You’ve thought that this photoshoot will only take an hour of your time but you’re wrong because an hour just passed and they were still dressing you up. You didn’t feel uncomfortable because everyone is approachable and enthusiastic. They made you feel that you’re indeed their client. 
After an hour and a half of preparation, you finally entered the photoshoot studio, and once again, you found many people inside. You're not entirely sure about each person's specific role here, but everyone is clearly occupied. 
But the atmosphere immediately changed when the door swung open. It was chaotic seconds ago and right now, everyone is silent looking at the person who just entered. 
You saw a familiar figure. His tall and muscular figure is very familiar to you. He’s wearing a black slacks and a casual long sleeve polo that’s folded up until his elbow where you can clearly see half of his tattoo while his hair is pulled back. 
Jeon Jungkook is undeniably handsome and he knows it. 
“What’s this chaos? I told you that once I’ve entered the studio, everything should be ready.” His voice was threatening as he spoke with authority. A side of him that you’re not surprised to see. 
What surprised you is the fact that he’s inside of the studio. 
What is he doing here?
Everyone works silently as if they were being oppressed in their workplace. They were enthusiastic and approachable seconds ago and it all changed when he entered inside. 
“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. It wasn’t obvious how you look surprised to see me here, aren’t you?” Jungkook gave you a boastful smile like he doesn’t look threatening a few moments ago. 
A sign of bipolar disorder.
“Welcome to GCF Studio where there is no room for failure.”
You will be working with one of your patients and you’re not even aware of that.
Ethically, there is nothing wrong with working with your patients outside the session but you aren’t fond of that. The idea of working with your patient outside the session doesn’t suit you and particularly with the patient that is in front of you right now. 
You haven’t thought of the reason why but you just don’t. 
Everything is already set up, and you are now behind the backdrop while Jungkook is holding the camera, ready to capture everything. You're confident in the outcome of this shoot, but at this moment, it feels like everything is crashing down at your feet. Everyone is looking at you with high hopes for the result of this photoshoot, and you wouldn't want to ruin it.
“Smile for me, Y/N.”
You don’t know how you manage to end the photoshoot smoothly knowing that Jungkook is making you uncomfortable. You were mad at yourself because you don’t know why you felt that way. He isn’t doing anything but to do his job in taking a photo of you. 
Now that you're home, you don't have anything to be distressed about when thinking about what happened during the shoot.
You have to admit that there is something wrong with his words and actions. There are signs that he’s becoming manipulative and a sudden change of mood. He's self-absorbed and lacks remorse for others. You’ve been thinking that there are other diagnoses with his actions and behaviors however, you cannot suddenly show up and tell what other illness he has. You still have to observe your sessions with him. 
You have now freshen up and are ready to rest but you decide to visit your office to check your schedule for tomorrow and the following days. You only have one patient for tomorrow and most of your schedules are meetings. Before you log out, you glance at the folder of Jungkook in your patient list and you click it subconsciously. 
Jeon Jungkook, 31-year old male who suffers from PTSD, after surviving an extremely traumatic incident.
He witnessed his mother die in front of him and aside from that, he was also shot in his left thighs twice. And it happens in the comfort of their home. 
The suspect? A loan shark who’s coming for his mother. 
There are a lot of questionable things that happened during the incident and one of them is how come that he always claimed to have a successful business while his mother is buried in debt? He also claimed that he doesn’t know about the debt of his mother. There are several inconsistencies in his story but the bottom line is, the loan shark surrendered and is now in maximum security prison for murdering his mother.
You transfer the recordings you made over the following days to your computer and listen to one of them, specifically the conversations you had with Jungkook.
You have 12 sessions in total with him and you have 5 more sessions left before it finally comes to an end. You don’t count the remaining number of sessions with your patient until now.
You love to read books during your free time, However, it most likely does not happen due to your busy schedule. But right now, you take a break from everything and decide to go on a date with yourself. You don’t normally take a break but you’re becoming busier than usual and you don’t want to risk your health because you know that there are a lot of people that need you. 
You’re not a fan of going out and you prefer to stay at home and rest but getting out of your comfort zone won’t hurt you. You decided to visit your favorite cafe and do your thing there. You dislike rowdy places, that’s why you went early in the morning where people are still in the comfort of their bed.
You underestimate the morning and how you’re used to people getting up mostly before lunch yet there are people who also like you—waking up at 6 in the morning to get a morning coffee in their favorite cafe. 
“Dr. Y/N! You’re here!” You lift your head to see Jeon Jungkook standing in front of you with his bright smile while holding a cup of coffee. 
Among all the people you could meet here, you don't understand why it had to be him.
“Jungkook. I didn’t know you’re here.” You try to return the smile and you almost fail when he sits in front of you. 
He’s wearing a casual polo shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. Unlike the last time you saw him, every strand of his hair is falling into a harmonious arrangement. It looks so soft and suits him well. He looked effortlessly handsome as usual. 
“Just grab a coffee and then, I saw you.” He smiles sweetly before he gazes down at the book you’re reading. “I don’t know why I am surprised that you like reading books even for the fact that you’re an author.” 
"I read when I have time," you respond. "How are you?" you add, trying to steer the conversation away from yourself.
“I’m doing amazing. I’m continuing to write in my journal like what you suggest. It does help me a lot, Dr. Y/N.” He takes a sip from his coffee as he gets comfortable in his seat. He’s not leaving any moment now.
“That’s good. Journaling really works.” You just said whatever is in your mind because you’re thinking of an excuse to leave. 
“That’s right. But we’re not in the session right now, Doc. We don’t always have to talk about me.” He leans backward as he glances at your book once again. “The four agreements. I’ve read that book before. It’s good. You’re really into self-help books, aren’t you? You like to write and read about them.”
“Yes. It does help me to improve my writing. How about you? I didn’t know that you also read nonfiction books.”
“I started to read because of your books, Doc.” He looks at your eyes filled with tenderness, traced the curves of your face as if he's memorizing it.
He’s been looking at you like that lately as if he wants you to drown with the way he stares. The way he looks at you carries an underlying tone, and truthfully, that's one of the reasons why you've become uncomfortable around him.
“I’m glad that I’ve encouraged you to read books.” You answer while looking at your wrist watch hoping that he understands that you wanted to leave already. 
“Your photos from the last time were amazing. Our team has already sent you the soft copy. Did you receive it?” You do but you didn’t tell him.
“I haven’t seen it but I’ll check it out later.” You looked at your wrist watch once again.
“Yeah, you should. They were amazing. You’re stunning as always.” His eyes twinkled but you didn’t notice that.
“I want to thank you and your team for working hard on this shoot. I do appreciate it so much.” you smile and look at your wrist watch for the last time. “I’m afraid that I have to leave you right now. I already have to go home.”
“That fast? We haven’t talked a lot, Doc.” He fixed you with a steadfast gaze and you were caught off-guard. You’re thinking of what to respond but you were out of words. After a few seconds, he chuckles. “I was just kidding, Doc. I know how busy you are and I understand that.”
You let out a nervous laugh. “I apologize, Jungkook. There are a lot of things that I have to do. But I’ll see you on tuesday.” 
“You don’t have to apologize because I understand. Yes, I’ll see you on Tuesday, Dr. Y/N.”
Tuesday came and you just woke up yet you already wanted to end this day. It’s strange that you haven’t properly started your day but you already feel heavy to move forward. Yesterday was exhausting for all the work you’ve done and you didn’t get home until 10pm, however, it doesn’t justify your heavy feeling right now. You’ve experienced worse so you don’t understand why you feel this way.
As you make your way to the clinic, you receive numerous work-related calls, and you're already feeling tired from answering them. However, you have no choice but to attend to them.
“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. Your first patient has already arrived. Do you want me to let him wait inside your office or here in the lobby?” The receptionist spoke on the other line. 
“You can let him in. I’m almost there.” When the traffic light turns green, you already move. “Is it Mr. Park?” You asked.
“No. It’s Mr. Jeon, Doc.” 
Damn. That’s why the morning feels heavy.
As you arrive inside your office, you spot Jungkook in the corner looking at the frames that are standing in the chest drawers. The air conditioner is already on–Soyeon the receptionist must have turned it on. He immediately turned his head towards you when you opened the door and greeted you with his charming smile. 
“Good morning, Dr. Y/N. I thought you'd take longer to arrive because the receptionist already let me in.” He greeted and walked his way towards the sofa–where your patient normally sits. 
“I was stuck in the traffic. You know, morning rush hour.” You responded as you placed your things on your office table. 
Jungkook is a punctual person. He may arrive early or on time but he is never late. If you count the things that you like about him, you’re counting nothing because that’s the only thing you like about him.
“How are you?” Is the first thing you asked him when you get comfortable with your seat. You press the record button on your phone that's hidden from him.
“Bad. I met my father last night and I wish I didn’t.” He brushed his hair back and slouched on his seat. 
It's the first time he mentioned his father at the beginning of a conversation because he never does unless you ask about it. From his descriptions, his father seems like a terrible person. He never fulfilled his role as a father, often creating conflicts with his mother. His family life seems chaotic, and you believe it might be one of the reasons he's become the person he is today.
“Why did you meet him?” 
“He just showed up to my house without permission to talk about bullshit. My life is already at peace and he’s ruining it.” His jaw tightened.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Your eyes locked into him as you try reading his mind. You know that every patient that walks into your office has different problems in life and they are sometimes hard to predict but this man in front of you is something else. There is something in him that you couldn’t understand. 
“No. He’s a waste of time. He’s really… Okay, I’ll talk about him briefly. He’s a horrible person and he doesn’t deserve to be a father to me. I never got to experience the love from a father because the only thing that he gave me is hatred. He always gets drunk and gamble and he cheated with my mom multiple times. I’m not going to be surprised when I find out that I have other siblings from different mothers. He’s the worst person I’ve known.”
You find his explanation vague but you didn’t think much about it and you let him continue.
“Do you have other instances where you see the different side of your father? Something that makes him a person to you?” You asked.
“None. Even during childhood. Especially now that he only wants money from me. He and mother are very similar to each other. Maybe that’s why they end up together. They both pissed me off and even though my mother is not here anymore, I can remember her because of my shitty father.”
You were taken aback with what he just said. He never badmouthed his mother until now. When he discussed his mother, there is nothing else he said rather than how he misses her and how she’s a great mother to him. 
But you didn’t say anything about it and let him elaborate what he just said. 
“Do you think that your parents do the same thing?” You asked–hoping that he doesn’t suspect your question.
“Yeah. They may be doing it in different ways of being a shitty person but they are the same for being useless parents.” He puts his index finger on his lips and slowly rubs it while resting his elbow on the arm rest, looking at you with intensity. 
You’re finding a word to say but you found nothing. You wanted to look away but it would indicate that he caught you off-guard. 
You saw a glimpse of his demonic character for a second. His eyes that had once been warm and inviting, now bore into you with an unnerving intensity as if trying to peer into your soul.
He spoke once again and his voice took on a low, whispery, and the words that slipped from his lips sent chills down your spine.
"Maybe that's why she died. Now, I wonder when my father will be next."
You're standing on the side of the street embracing the subtle chill in the air as the city lights painted the night with different colors. People are walking by and snippets of hushed conversations drifted on the breeze while the flow of traffic added to the scene with vehicles weaving through the crowd.
You don’t know why Taehyung is taking so long to arrive. You’ve been waiting for him on the sidewalk for 10 minutes already when in fact, he should have been here 30 minutes ago. You’re going to come with him on his event show because he’s been annoying you for the whole week to come with him and for him to stop, you just agreed.
What pisses you off more is that he's running late, and your stomach is growling. You haven't had dinner because Taehyung assured you that he'd swing by the drive-thru to grab something for you to eat.
You're waiting for Taehyung, but someone else showed up in front of you.
“Dr. Y/N, hi!” You met Jeon Jungkook’s eyes with his bright and warm smile. He’s wearing a gray hoodie and skinny jeans that fit him perfectly. You looked in the surroundings of him if he's with someone and it seems that there’s none. 
“Hello, Jungkook. You’re heading somewhere?” You gave him a warm smile that hopefully, doesn’t look like it’s forced.
“Yeah. I’m going out for dinner. I was actually in that building,” He pointed out the building behind you and it looked like a law firm office. “I already saw you when I entered there but I didn’t have the chance to greet you because I’m in a hurry and now, you’re still here.” He glances at the road and returns his eyes to you. “You’re waiting for someone?” 
“Uhm, yeah. I am.” You looked at your phone to see if Taehyung had a message but there’s none.
“You’ve been here for a couple of minutes already. Are you sure that they are still going to make it here?” 
“Yeah. Maybe they—
You were taken aback when your stomach started to growl and heck, it’s so loud that you want the grounds to eat you alive. You were sure that your face was burning red and you couldn’t bear to make eye-contact with him as your gaze fixed elsewhere.
 You glance at him as a soft chuckle rumbles in his throat. “I already hate the person that keeps you waiting in hunger. You know what, I’d love to treat you for dinner with me and drive you to your destination afterwards. Or we can just go to a drive-thru.” If he’s someone else, maybe you will consider his offer. 
“No, it’s okay Jungkook. You don’t have to do that.” You glance at your phone to pretend that someone messages you. “My friend is already on his way. You can go.” 
“Your friend of yours is really something else. What kind of man is he for making you wait for so long on the street with your stomach empty?” His voice took on a sharp edge as his eyebrows knitted together.
“I’m really fine. You don’t have to think about me.” You force a smile as you bite the inside of your cheeks.
“I insist, Dr. Y/N. I really want to treat you for being there for me during my worst days. You help me a lot and I want to get you something to show my appreciation. It’s nothing big and I will be guilty if I just leave you here.” 
“I really appreciate your gesture, Jungkook, but I have other plans. Maybe next time?” You smile hoping that he understands that you don’t really want to go with him.
“With the same guy that made you wait in the cold air? Oh come on, Doc. You know better.” He spoke in a pompous tone, as if he proved that Taehyung is a horrible guy.
“You can make up to me some other time. I’m really–
You haven’t finished your sentence when Taehyung’s audi arrives beside you and he instantly gets out to meet your gaze.
“Y/N! I’m sorry for keeping you waiting. The traffic is so heavy.” He didn’t notice Jungkook until he opened the passenger’s seat and slowly glanced beside you. Jungkook released a sarcastic laugh and glared at Taehyung.
“What a surprise that Kim Taehyung–a famous musician and artist let a lady wait in the cold breeze with an empty stomach. I didn’t know that you’re such a gentleman, Taehyung.” He spoke in a mocking tone as Taehyung looked at him in confusion. 
“I’m sorry, who are you?” 
“You wouldn’t want to know.” He arched a brow before he returned his gaze to you. “If you really insist on being with this guy, then I’ll leave you already. I just hope that he won’t completely ruin your precious night.” He said before he finally turned around and walked away–placing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. When he’s already out of sight, you turn your head to Taehyung and glare at him.
“What?” You suddenly smack his chest before you hopped in the car.
“Damn you.”
It didn't take long before Jungkook was back, sitting on the couch in front of you. You’ve realized that your day always feels heavy every Tuesday of the week and that is whenever you’re going to have a session with him. 
You've tried to shake off the discomfort you feel when he's in front of you because you regret thinking of him differently from your other patients, but every time you try, he makes it worse.
“Are you taking your medicines I’ve prescribed you?” You scan his record file that you’re holding. 
“Yeah. I consistently take them, Doc.” He responded as he smugly looked at you and before you think of negative thoughts of him, you already returned your gaze back to the folder.
“Are you still having nightmares during your sleep?” He didn’t instantly respond like he’s thinking about the question carefully.
“I do. I still do, Dr. Y/N. But it wasn’t worse, unlike what I have for the last months.” 
“Then it’s a good sign. You’re now improving. Are you still thinking about the incident?” You give him a genuine smile while he slowly crosses his legs and places both of his arms on the arm rest.
“Yes, but not as frequently as before. I love my mother so much but I’ve learned to let her go and accept the fate she has. Afterall, it was her fault.” He was looking at the painting that Yunjin had given you as he answered. He doesn’t have much of a reaction but his last sentence caught your attention.
“Why do you think that it’s her fault?” You ask in your soft voice.
“You see, my mother isn’t the perfect mother and she has her mistakes and sometimes, she doesn’t learn from them. She keeps doing the same thing until she has to pay for it and that costs her life.” He responded.
“Do you want to talk about the mistakes that your mother made?” He smiled and played with his lips once again. You’ve noticed that he’s doing that if he finds something funny or there are things that he knows and you don’t.
“But we will take forever if we discuss it right now, Dr. Y/N. But if you’re really interested, we can talk about it over dinner. You promised me last time that you’ll come with me for dinner.” You mentally rolled your eyes with his statement. Here he goes again.
“Not right now. I still have a lot of things to do but we can talk about other things like how great your mother is.” You said and he laughed—as if your statement is absurd. You try to not raise your brows with his action and behavior. 
“Let's not talk about that, either.”
You were doing your best to understand his actions and statements but there is something in him that you haven’t seen. Something that will answer everything
“But I will tell you how I see my mother during the incident.” He leaned forward and intertwined his fingers “When my mother is kneeling and begging for her life, I was thinking that ‘damn. It’s really happening, isn't it?’. And when the trigger was pulled, the world stopped. And after a few moments, I felt a sense of relief and before I knew it, I was shot as well.” His voice was soft and light as if he’s confessing something that he should have confessed before. 
You felt a shiver down your spine as the creeping horror crawled along your arms, raising goosebumps. You held unflinching eye contact, determined to keep your composure and hide the discomfort and fear you felt.
“Where were you when your mom was being shot?” You asked as you held your breath.
This question is already asked during the investigation. ‘I’m in the living room, 10 feet away from her. When I saw her  position and situation, I immediately ran towards her but it was too late because before I even reached her, she was already shot in the chest. It didn’t take 10 seconds of my life before I was shot as well’.
But you still ask him once again. Away from the detectives.
“I was there, I told you.” 
“Yes, but in what position?” Your hands are already trembling. 
“I was standing,” He took a deep breath before he continued. His next sentence didn’t surprise you because it was something you already expect but trying to deny it to yourself, and it terrifies you, so much that you thought that this may be your last day.
“After I was shot, I collapsed, along with the gun I was holding.” 
a/n: I'm almost done with the whole series so I've decided to post the first part. I hope you'll like this new fic because I enjoy writing it! I am open for comments to further improve my works. Have a nice day everyone!
taglist: @iloverubberduckiez-blog @kingofbodyrolls @fangirl-death-rose @looneybleus @softie00
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In the Blink of an Eye | Bucky Barnes (Mafia AU)
mafia!bucky barnes x f!reader ✧ oneshot
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Summary: With Bucky Barnes, the mafia lord of New York, as your boyfriend, you're usually safe from any and all harm. With a date night gone wrong and your boyfriend distracted, though, anything can happen in the blink of an eye.
A/N: Another one of my favorites because come on, who doesn't love mob Bucky? If you couldn't tell by now, angst is my thing lol, but I'm working on some fluffier oneshots! True to my word, this one's a reader insert for all you lovelies, enjoy and as always keep dreaming 🤍
Warnings: mafia!Bucky, violence, angst, kidnapping, drugging, language, mentions of torture, fluffy ending because I just can't help myself.
Word Count: 5,896
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I knew the dangers when I started. I knew the risks. I welcomed them, I embraced them. They did not scare me and they haven't even now, so many months later.
We always seem to think we know ourselves so well, that we know what we'd do in every situation. I thought I knew.
Then I fell in love.
When you're in love, well, everything changes. For the first time, there's another person that you cannot live without. For the first time, you begin to realize just how far you'd go to keep that love, to strengthen it. I used to avoid love, used to think it was worthless.
Then I met Bucky Barnes, Wolf of the North and mafia lord of New York, and I fell harder than I ever have before.
I love him more than anything else in my life, and so I took on the risks willingly. When you love someone that deeply, that ardently, nothing is a risk. Besides, I knew that he would do everything in his power to protect me. Bucky would never let anything bad happen to me.
That's where I went wrong. Not in overestimating him, but underrating what can happen in the blink of an eye.
"Bucky, I think that guy's following us"
He acts as though he's heard me, but his eyes are glued to the phone in his hand as we weave through the crowds in the New York night. He never usually ignores me like this, and even though I'm growing annoyed, I'm hurt by his lack of attention too.
"We'll be fine, even if he is he wouldn't be stupid enough to try anything" Bucky brushes off, not even looking up from his phone. I let out a small huff as we approach the front of the bar and nightclub he owns.
Before we make it to the doors, I grab his well-muscled arm and gently tug him to face me. He looks up now, his usually softened ice blue eyes plagued with business and stress.
"I thought tonight was just for us, my love" I remind. Something softens in his gaze but he ices it down and doesn't as much as touch me.
"It is, but I have some business to attend to first" his gravelly voice replies.
"Business?" I ask, lifting an eyebrow and smiling softly at him, "You can get business any night, but I-"
"Just give me ten minutes, Y/N." my boyfriend interrupts, and if it were any other day I'd say something back. Too exhausted from work to want an argument, though, I simply sigh and decide to show him patience.
"Alright, you have 10 minutes."
We walk inside, but before we do I cast one more glance back towards the man who I saw following us. My heart hits the floor when my eyes connect directly with his across the street. His mousy brown hair and disheveled brown leather jacket and white shirt set me on edge, so I quickly turn around and follow Bucky into his club.
As soon as I'm back by his side, he presses a gentle but burning hand to my back, his touch, however small, still intoxicating me after all this time. Normally, he'd lean over and whisper sweet nothings or promises of love in my ear and I'd shiver at the whisper of his voice so near, but now he barely even touches me. His mind is so preoccupied with work, I know that, but it has been all week since this weekend is his rival's gala.
But I feel ignored and unappreciated and it's killing me.
The pounding music of the club wraps around me, making it harder to keep my thoughts straight. Bucky and I walk straight to the back of the club, where his business no doubt waits. He pulls away from me without so much as a goodbye, and my heart tugs. Quickly I grab his hand, making him glance at me.
"Bucky, this guy is really freaking me out," I repeat, and I know he said I'll be fine but I need him to be here with me, "Please, stay with me."
"Doll, you're gonna be fine. Now-"
I cut him off, getting frustrated.
"No Bucky! I can fight, sure, but if he-" I interrupt, only for him to cut me right back off.
"Drop it, Y/N. Just go to the bar or something" Bucky growls, pulling out of my grip and walking into the office without a single glance back at me.
My heart cracks.
He's never like this, ever. He's usually so protective it's overbearing, and yet the one time I need that to feel secure, he refuses. I can take care of myself, but I'm not stupid. And no matter how capable and independent I may be, Bucky brings a level of safety to me that I can't describe.
And yet here he is, leaving me alone in his bar with someone following us.
I huff out a sigh and try not to look too forlorn as I traipse over to the bar. Almost as soon as I've arrived and sat at an open bar stool, the bartender who has become somewhat of a friend over the last few months approaches me.
"And how is my favorite customer?" He asks, his hands busy preparing a drink. I shrug, offering him a soft smile.
"I'm alright, Lee," I respond, playing with the edge of my sleeve, "Just a whiskey please."
"Sure thing, Y/N," Lee says, his brows furrowed as he steps away to make my drink. When the glass slides in front of me, I grab onto it with tired fingers.
"So, do you want me to ask what's really going on or do you want me to believe the lie?" The bartender asks, making me raise my gaze from the amber liquid and to my friend's face. He must see the tears gathering in my eyes because a hint of concern grows. I never break like this.
"Believe the lie, please" I nearly whisper, desperate to not have this conversation right now. Lee stares at me for a second longer before nodding.
"Let me know if you need anything else."
When he walks away to take care of another customer, I'm left feeling alone and forgotten in my boyfriend's bar. I sip on the alcohol and seconds turn to minutes, and ten minutes soon becomes twenty. I feel patience slipping and am seconds away from barging into that room and giving my boyfriend a piece of my mind when another voice pipes up beside me.
"I thought tonight was date night," The voice says, and I can't put a face to it. When I turn, the haze of alcohol clears instantly and my spine snaps straight. The music dulls into a hum. The lights grow darker. The color leeches from my body. My hand trembles around the almost empty glass.
It's him. He's got the same messy hair, the same brown jacket. The same hungry eyes.
Instantly, I clamp down hard on my rising panic. I refuse to fall into hysterics of any kind right now. This is the safest place for me to be right now, so I should have nothing to worry about. Instead, I simply shake my head and turn forward, downing the last of my second whiskey.
"You're another kind of stupid if you think anything is going to happen to me in here," I inform, my tone even and calm despite the throbbing, tearing panic within me that makes me want to sprint for Bucky.
"Oh sweetheart, I'm not going to do anything," the man responds, his tone just as even as mine.
I furrow my brows at the ease of his response, but all at once it hits me. My head begins to spin and with each second that passes, my mind begins to fog. No. No. No.
He drugged me.
How did he get it into my drink?
How did I not see it? Smell it? Taste it?
I shove out of my chair so fast that the stool screeches against the hard floor. The sound is absorbed into the mass of the club, though, and an arm snakes around my waist.
"No," I manage out, but the connection between my body and brain seems to be almost severed. The words come out sluggish and far away and when I try to pull from the stalker's hold, my body barely moves.
Instead, I'm left stumbling like I'm drunk with this man guiding me towards the exit as if he's helping me to a cab. The bouncers. Ed and Damien, they won't let him take me. They'll stop him, they'll get him away from me.
"Don't make a scene, Y/N. Your boyfriend isn't even out of his office." My kidnapper's voice slithers into my ear, making my stomach church with nausea.
My boyfriend. Bucky. Oh God, where is Bucky? Why can't I seem to remember where Bucky went? Why he's not here? Why I was alone?
"Bucky, Bucky's gonna-" I slur out, sounding absolutely wasted to the unknowing ear.
"I know, Mr. Barnes going to be so glad I got you home safely," he says suddenly, his entire body shifting tone. I furrow my brows and manage to look and see us just passing Ed and Damien at the door. Even though I can really see straight, I see the two bouncers block the exit when they see me.
"Hey man, what's going on?" I hear Ed ask.
"Nothing much to see, Boss just wanted me to take his lady home," the stalker says, his grip on me tighter than it must appear, "She had a little too much to drink."
Too much to drink? Did I? Why can't I remember what's happening? I didn't think I did but...but maybe I did. Who is this man? He said he's taking me home, maybe Bucky had to cancel date night. It was date night, right?
Both Ed and Damien furrow their brows and look to me, immediate concern drawing on their features when they see the state of me. Some lucid part of me screams to alert them of something, anything, but the thought doesn't come to fruition. It dies somewhere along a neuron and leaves me tripping over my own feet and speechless.
"I've never seen you before, man. How do we know that boss told you to take her home?" Damien asks. My escort doesn't miss a step.
"The Wolf is in states nowadays, isn't he boys?" The stalker replies, and that lucid part sparks up again in protest at the familiar words. That's the code phrase to ensure safety in moments like this.
He knows the code phrase.
They're going to let him take me.
I do what I can to struggle as Ed and Damien step aside, but it only comes across as trying to walk on my own, because the bouncers chuckle slightly.
"Relax Y/N, don't overdo it" Ed quips.
"Rest up, miss. I'll let boss know you got home safely." Damien follows up.
And the lucid part of me fades into the drug haze as my kidnapper guides me out of the safest place on earth without so much of a gun fight. The cool night air slaps me in the face and I whisper, trying to struggle again only to forget why I'm struggling in the first place. My body feels like I'm running through neck-high mud, anyways. Any sharp movements I try to make end in my hands barely moving.
"Bucky," I breathe, an urgency in that word. Beyond the haze and the forgetfulness and the confusion, there's a deep and piercing need to scream out that name. I can't figure out why, but I need him. I can't...I need...
My head's spinning, or maybe it's the world. My stomach is twisting and turning and twisting and turning and tw-
"He can't save you now. He didn't even put up a fight to protect you," that ugly, slimy voice says as a car door opens, "What a shame. A treasure like you should be guarded. But I guess finder's keeper's."
Then I'm shoved into a car and everything goes black.
||| James Buchanan Barnes
Y/N's going to actually kill me. As in my liver on a plate kill me.
The meeting that I promised would only be ten minutes has now gone for forty, and by now she's probably restless, hungry, and a little tipsy.
Great, and I pissed her off earlier so tonight is going to be so much fun.
I pull a hand through my dark hair with a slight groan as the man I was doing business with finally leaves my office. I sit for a second in the semi-quiet of my room, the pounding of music and laughter dulled by the walls. I know I shouldn't have gotten short with her earlier, but damn she wouldn't let up on me with the whole "stalker" thing.
My club is the safest place for her. I would never let anything happen to her, so for her to even think that...I sigh again, shoving it from my mind. It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is finding my girlfriend and making all of this shit up to her. I rise from my leather chair and walk out of my office, the dulled sounds roaring into full force.
My eyes immediately shoot towards the bar to find my girl only to see an absence of her. With furrowed brows, I sweep my gaze towards the dance floor. Even crowded with people, I don't see her. I roll my eyes instantly, knowing what probably happened. She probably went home, probably's pissed as hell at me. I brush off my suit jacket and walk up to Lee at the bar, immediately garnering his attention. He smiles at me.
"Hey boss, can I get you anything?" He asks.
"No I'm good, thanks Lee," I respond, leaning on the bar with one arm and pinching the bridge of my nose, "Have you seen Y/N? I think I pissed her off."
There's a pause that makes me look over at my bartender. He's looking at me weirdly as he slides a drink to a customer and laughs slightly.
"Real funny, boss," Lee says, cleaning out a few glasses. I straighten up slightly, my brows furrowing deeper and my jaw setting.
"What's so funny, Lee? Have you seen her or not?" I ask, quickly losing my patience. I always thought he had a thing for her, always was too-
"Are you fucking with me right now?" Lee asks genuinely, cutting off my thoughts. When I don't respond, he realizes I'm not joking and his face goes grave, "So you didn't send her home twenty minutes ago?"
The world tilts around me and every ounce of anger, annoyance, and frustration leaves me in an instant. My heart drops like an anchor at sea and I don't dare to believe what Lee's words mean.
"She left twenty minutes ago," I begin slowly, trying desperately to hold myself together and not jump to a conclusion, "With someone who said I sent them to take her home."
Lee's face is slowly falling as he realizes the situation at hand. I feel so sick to my stomach that I can barely stand when Lee gives a faint nod. My world stops and then starts and then stops again.
"I never gave that order." I breathe.
"Bucky, I think that guy's following us"
I brushed her off.
"Bucky, this guy is really freaking me out. Please, stay with me."
I ignored her. I snapped at her. I prioritized work over the light of my life. I told her she'd be fine.
I left her.
Lee is saying something to me but I don't hear it as I shove away and storm over to Ed and Damien, my bouncers. My face is a painting of fury and shame and worry and panic and it's a storm that catches Ed and Damien's attention. They stop what they're doing and look to me, their brows furrowing.
"Boss, what's-"
"You let her leave?" I strangle out, my heart slamming in my chest and my fists balled by my sides, "You let a stranger take her away?"
The two share a confused glance before looking back to me.
"A stranger? Boss, the man who took Y/N home knew the code," Ed informs.
"Did you not send him?" Damien suddenly asks, his face tightening in instant panic.
He knew the code. He knew the code and he somehow got my doll, my fighter, out without so much of a warning.
And it's all my fault.
"Shut the club down, get everyone out. Call together all of our forces. Tell them-" My voice breaks, raw emotion clawing up my throat, "Tell them Y/N's been taken."
I don't wait for a response and shove out into the cold night, gasping for air like a fish out of water. I was so obsessed with the gala this week that Hydra, our arch nemesis, was putting on, that I stopped paying attention to the only part of my life that matters. I have a lot of things, all of which I could live without, but I cannot live without her.
And I left her.
I left her and now she's gone.
She tried to warn me, she tried to tell me someone was following us. She tried to get me to stay with her, to not leave her. And yet I walked away. I just walked away like she didn't even matter and I left vulnerable and alone the only person in this entire fucking universe I love. It's all my fault, and I'll spend every second of the rest of my life trying to make it up to her.
If I can even find her in time, before she-
No. I will find her and she will live. I will burn down this whole damn world if I have to, and I will not stop. Not until every person who laid a finger on my girl is dead. I will paint the world crimson with their blood until I find her, and once I do I will never, never, ignore or leave her again.
That's not a threat. It's a promise.
||| Your POV
The collar secured to my throat is too tight, the metal no doubt leaving red grooves in my skin.
It hurts worse when Alexander Pierce, the mafia lord of Hydra, tugs the matching chain leash attached to it, pulling me closer to him and almost making me stumble mid-step.
The gala is glamorous, and my gown is nothing short of it as well. Pierce even went through the trouble of having someone do my hair. What he didn't do was my makeup.
That way anyone could see the dried blood and bruises littering my skin.
It's a scare tactic, I know that. A way to signal to everyone here that he's in charge and that he can't be defied. But I think he's got a bigger reason in mind for it all, the collar and the hideous marks on my skin.
And that reason is my boyfriend.
I can practically feel people's eyes follow me as I walk as steadily as I can at the end of Pierce's leash. Despite the radiating, excruciating pain that each step incurs, I keep my body steady and my chin high. I let the policemen and officials that are on his payroll and all of the members of his mafia see my bruises and cuts. He's parading me, so I'm going to put on a damn show.
A show to hide how mind-numbingly terrified I am right now.
Behind my set jaw and my cold eyes, I'm fighting back tears. The pain is mixing with the fear of the last few days to make a perfect storm within me. I'm terrified that any moment could be my last, that more pain could await me, that Bucky might never come for me
Or worse. That he doesn't even care.
Regardless of whether or not he cares, I'm still not going to give a single detail out. Even when Pierce himself tortured me until all I knew was blood and pain and fear, I said nothing. He didn't get a single word out of me. I just sat there, strapped to an iron chair, and took it. Every blow, every slice, every shout. At times my mind spared me and allowed me to slip into the sweet nothingness of unconsciousness, but it wouldn't be long after that I awoke to my head shoved into cold water to revive me.
And here I am, now taking a seat at the Dias of his gala room beside the mafia lord of Hydra, my boyfriend's sworn rival, with a collar around my neck tied to his wrist.
The music that wafts from the live orchestra is disturbingly jovial and light, filling the air with a sense of peace that provides such a stark juxtaposition to my insides that I almost puke. I sit ever so stiffly in my chair beside Pierce, my back burning with each movement because of the new stripes across its tender flesh.
As I feel warm liquid slide down my skin, I suddenly understand why Pierce insisted my dress be a dark maroon. I thought it was as at first just a beacon to everyone to show who I was with because it was his signature color, but I know better now. It's to hide the blood that seeps from my still-healing and probably infected wounds.
"Exquisite, isn't it?" Pierce asks, and I don't even have to turn towards him to know he wears a devilish smirk. A cruel man's trademark of victory.
I stay silent.
I hear him click his tongue as he sits back in his ornate chair, "All this quality time together and all I've heard from your voice has been your screams. No matter how pretty they are, doesn't seem polite to me."
This time, I can't hold myself back.
"Neither is kidnapping another human being and treating them like a prisoner of war," I announce, my voice raw and hoarse from the screaming and shouting of the past few days, "So pardon me if I'm not feeling too polite."
It's a bold move, but I make it anyways, gambling that he wouldn't lash out in the midst of his party. A little breath of relief escapes me when he chuckles.
"And here I was under the impression you were a sweet, soft-spoken sort of woman. My sources misjudged you." Pierce responds.
Of course he's been watching me. A scheme like this doesn't happen overnight. He's been planning this for a while, now. Pierce knew exactly when Bucky would be most vulnerable, when the defenses would be the loosest. It makes me want to scream.
"You're going to die for this," I whisper, quietly but not softly. There's his laugh again.
"Oh honey," Pierce starts, his voice condescending as if I were a toddler, "Careful with blind faith. What makes you so sure Barnes will make it out of this alive?"
His words unsettle something so deep within me that if I spend more than a few seconds touching on it, I'll shatter. Instead, I turn to look at Alexander Pierce for the first time since we've sat down. My eyes are cold and harsh upon him and the shining metal of the collar that tethers us.
"What makes you so sure it will be Bucky who kills you?"
He has the good sense to look the slightest bit unnerved, and I give him a smirk of my own, "Like you said before, your men sorely misjudged me."
Before he can respond, one of the guards that stands behind us steps forward and whispers something in the mafia lord's ear. Whatever he says makes Pierce grin fiercely as he looks back to me and gives the collar a tug.
"Your White Wolf is here."
My heart jumps so hard that I forget how to function. For a moment, everything else fades and dims away, even the biting pain wrapping me like a blanket of thorns. I snap my head back forward and when I see him I swear I almost break right then and there.
Because his eyes are already on me, and they're coated with fury.
It takes every ounce of strength I have to not dissolve into tears, to not let my fear show.
He's here.
He's here.
Bucky found me.
When our eyes meet, something so primal and raw ignites in his features. He looks seconds away from shattering as his chest heaves, his eyes scouring every inch of me. I feel undone before him, as if the dress doesn't hide a single thing that Pierce and his men have done to me.
"James Barnes," Pierce announces, snapping the connection between us swiftly, "I thought you'd never come. I hope you don't mind, I think I've stolen your date for the evening."
Then he wraps his palm around the chain leash and yanks it so hard that I nearly tumble out of the chair. His hand is there to stop me as it grabs my jaw in a bruising grip. Pierce hums, turning my face side to side before forcing it forward to the crowd that now watches. Bucky is painted with dark rage and looks seconds away from ending Pierce's life.
"She makes quite the pretty pet."
Bucky begins to storm forward only for two of the guests who belong to Pierce's mafia to grip onto his arms and prevent him.
"Take your fucking hand off of her, Pierce, or I swear I'll-" Bucky growls, and hearing his voice is enough to ease some of the knot that's wound in my chest these last few days.
"You'll what?" Alexander asks, releasing my chin but remaining ever so calmly in his seat beside me, "You must not care that much for my pet, after all you were the one to ignore her."
There's a bone-crushing silence and I see that same something shatter in my love's gaze.
"You shoved her off, you left her alone," Alexander cuts out, reaching out and running a hand through my hair, "You so carelessly let her slip through your fingers and here you are pretending to care."
"What I did was unforgivable, I know that," Bucky says suddenly, and I see even from here the silver lining his eyes as he speaks, "But she is a good person. She doesn't deserve this. If you need to punish someone, don't let it be her."
"You don't deserve her," Pierce says, and I want to scream that he's wrong but Bucky cuts me off. His eyes clash with mine and I fall in love all over again.
"I know," he says so softly that I almost miss it. I try to shake my head 'no', but Pierce tightens the collar, making me whimper.
Bucky shoves off the two men holding him, composing himself and standing stiffly a good ways before us.
"Let her go, Pierce," Bucky reiterates, his tone harsh once more and his stare pure murder, "I won't ask again."
Pierce clicks his tongue beside me, letting up on my leash to let me relax slightly.
"Oh Barnes, did you really waltz in here thinking you'd walk back out?"
There's a deadly silence and I swear you can hear my heart smash into the floor even though I expected this. With every second between his last words and his next, I grow more panicked.
"I have you surrounded, Barnes. You're not getting out of this," Pierce announces. Bucky doesn't look the least bit unnerved, though.
Pierce reaches you to an ear piece I didn't know was there and touches it, "Guns at attention."
From my spot next to him, all I hear is static. There's no response coming back, and the confusion becomes evident on Alexander's face at the same moment I realize what's going on. Hope like a new sunrise breaks in me and I look over at Bucky to find him smirking. He winks at me once before furrowing his brows at Pierce.
"What's wrong, can't reach your men?" Bucky taunts.
And then all Hell breaks loose.
Guns are firing and people are screaming and within seconds, Bucky's mafia that's already infiltrated the gala hall appears from the woodwork, their guns raised and keeping the few mafia members left under gun point. Bucky just stands coolly in the midst as another deadly silence blankets the room. I can practically feel the rage draining off of Alexander.
"Get him!" Pierce suddenly shouts, and what few men are left charge at Bucky. Including the personal guards around us. The gunfire begins again, and the classy event is soon painted crimson.
I take the brief moment of chaos to my advantage and shoot up from my seat. As soon as Pierce registers that I'm moving, it's too late. Despite the screaming of my body, I sprint behind Pierce's chair and brace one heeled foot at its back. Then, before he can reach for a gun, I wrap the leash he's collared me with around his neck and pull back, strangling him with the own device he subjected me under.
His hands claw desperately at the chain and I feel my exhausted muscles trembling, but I refuse to let up. I keep holding the chain tighter and snap my gaze up in Bucky's direction just in time to see him shoot a guard between the eyes.
"Bucky!" I shout, gaining his attention instantly.
I know I can't hold Pierce off much longer, so Bucky will need to help me take him down while I've got him strangled to the chair. The metal is cutting deep into his skin when Bucky begins fighting desperately to reach us. Before he can, though, Pierce gets a purchase on the chain and yanks with such force that it sends my body flying over him and the chair. I land flat on my back so hard on the tile that the air rushes out of my lungs and every cut and tear rips open.
"Y/N!" Bucky roars, and it rattles my very bones
I gasp and groan in pain simultaneously, desperately trying to get air into my lungs. The second I can breathe again, Pierce is dragging me backwards by the chain.
"No!" I shout, reaching up and gripping the chain before yanking it.
We tug back and forth as he drags me, but I manage to hook my foot around one of the overturned chairs and use the leverage to yank the chain so hard that I hear a snap followed by a shrill yell.
I just broke his wrist.
When I pull again, the chain comes free and a weight lifts from my shoulders. I scramble to my feet, about to sprint away and towards where I last saw Bucky when Pierce's hands grip my shoulders and rip me back. I don't even have time to scream when my back is slammed into a hard wall and Pierce is before me, a knife in his unmangled hand that's pressed to my cheek.
"You little bitch" he seethes.
My chest is heaving with breath and panic as I read back and spit in his face as hard as I can. He recoils slightly and I relish in it. My happiness only lasts a second, though, because his knife is pressing into my cheek. I try to squirm but his body is pressed firmly to mine and pins me to the wall.
"I so didn't want to end you this quickly," Pierce whispers, his voice slithering against my skin.
I keep trying to be strong, to be so strong, but it's getting harder to keep up. I try to not show my fear, but it's getting harder and harder to hide. I feel myself finally breaking after the hell that these last few days have been and just when I think he's going to end it all, he's gone. In a moment, he's off of me and unconscious on the ground.
And Bucky is standing before me, his chest heaving and his eyes wild.
"Bucky," I breathe, already feeling my strength slip away.
I don't have to be strong anymore.
Bucky drops the gun he just rendered Pierce unconscious with, every inch of his face softening upon my bloody, trembling form. He looks a minute away from crying when I stumble forward and crash into him, letting myself break down in his arms that already wrap around my waist and keep me upright. He keeps me so tight to himself that there is no room between us. I bury my face into his neck and let out a sob, my tears mixing with the blood on his suit. I can't tell which of us is shaking harder, but all I can tell is the warmth and security that Bucky's hands bring me.
"Oh doll," Bucky whispers, sending a shiver down my spine, "You're alive. You're alive."
I mumble some sort of affirmation, but I can barely think straight.
"I'm so sorry, doll. I'm so sorry." Bucky repeats it over and over again, "God, Y/N I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Buck. It's alright," I whisper, but he keeps shaking his head. He pulls back far enough to meet my gaze.
"I've been shitty to you. I should've listened to you, I should never have left you. I am never leaving you again."
"It's okay, I forgive you," I repeat, brushing a bloody hand against his jaw, "Of course it's gonna cost you at least four new pairs of shoes."
At my joke, a laugh of pure relief to have me back in hands escapes his lips. I chuckle softly too, taking in every inch of his breathtaking face. A tear drops down his cheek and he leans his forehead against mine.
"I love you so much, I love you more than life." he breathes.
"I love you too. That's all that kept me breathing, loving you,"I respond, and his lips are on mine in an instant.
Even though it's only been a few days, kissing him feels like I've been in a drought and he's my water. The kiss is desperate and pleading and consuming. It steals whatever strength is left in my knees and I link my arms around his neck to support myself. When he finally pulls away, he leaves a trail of kisses to my nose and then my forehead before tugging me to himself again.
"I'm going to tear him apart for this," Bucky vows, and I know it shouldn't but I still let out a breath of relief at that.
"Is that why he's not dead yet?" I ask, chuckling softly. He does the same, kissing the top of my head.
"That's exactly why," Bucky agrees, pulling back and rubbing a finger along my cheek. He becomes serious again and I feel my heart flutter.
"When I found out you were gone, I lost myself." He says, his throat bobbing as he Cho's my face with his large hands, "Y/N, there is no me without you"
I turn to kiss his hand before leaning into it more.
"I'll always find my way back to you. You're all I have, James"
Another tear works down his cheek before he finally steps to the side. The gala is trashed, but the gunfire is over. Apparently, his men were here hours before anyone else got here. I feel my strength abandoning me, so I lean my weight onto Bucky. He feels this and immediately scoops me into his arms, holding me close to his chest.
"I'm going to kiss every one of these scars when we get back" His voice rumbles, and I smile as I lean my head further into him.
"Let's go home, my love"
And he held up his promise. He never left me again.
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WIBTA to refuse tutoring my nephew even though I'm not sure what he did wrong?
So I (24, F) have been tutoring my nephew/the son of my mum's close friend (10, M) for a couple of weeks now. His mum pays me for the hours I spend teaching him and honestly despite the kid being obviously ADHD I don't really mind him getting constantly distracted because it's clear he still understands what I'm explaining to him, so we had a pretty good relationship up until this point as I was way more understanding of him than any other tutors or even his own mother, although I don't really know him THAT well.
During our tutoring sessions my cat, Pudding (14, F) would usually stay in the same room with us. She likes to stay in the same room as other people but usually doesn't let strangers pet her and will go away if bothered too much. Well, Nephew being distractable as he is would often go up to her to pet her as he would answer a question of mine or just as a thing between answering questions. Strangely enough Pudding did let him do that and didn't seem to be THAT bothered by it, so I too ignored it and just let him do it.
Now, here's the issue: A few days ago after we finished our tutoring session for that day I left the room to wash my hands in the kitchen since we were eating snacks during the session. My house's kitchen is literally DIRECTLY next to the room where we have our tutoring sessions so it couldn't have taken longer than 10-15 seconds from me leaving before I heard a cry from Pudding. "Oh, she must've finally gotten annoyed with Nephew's behaviour, I'll tell him to stop bothering her." I thought to myself as I finished washing my hands, yet before I was even able to make it back to the room I heard a second, much louder meow, the kind of meow a cat only makes if they ACTUALLY get hurt. So now, properly concerned, I round the corner into the room and see Nephew sitting right next to where Pudding is still laying, now with her ears flat and looking at him. He must've seen the confusion on my face because the first thing he said was "We were just playing." to which I blurted out that clearly she was not in the mood to play and walked over to check on her. While doing that, I noticed that there was a blanket slightly covering Pudding's hind legs, so I assumed maybe Nephew accidentally put his weight there without realizing she had her paws there. I VERY GENTLY pulled back the blanket and VERY GENTLY touched her legs to see if they were hurt, and then she BIT me and finally ran away. Of course I don't blame her, and in fact that only strengthened my concern because Pudding is a VERY polite cat, if she's bothered by anything she will just leave and if she bites for play it's always very gentle and doesn't leave a mark, this was not that. Afterwards I couldn't get any useful information out of Nephew as to what exactly he did, he just kept saying that he was petting her and she got annoyed which was clearly not true, so I dropped the subject and just sent him home.
Now it's been a few days since that happening and I've checked on Pudding's legs a few times since then. She doesn't respond to me touching them at all and she doesn't limp or anything so either she didn't get injured, or the legs were never the issue in the first place and me touching her was simply the last straw in that already stressful situation for her. Despite that however, I find myself not wanting to have Nephew over for tutoring anymore as I'm afraid that something like this might happen again when I'm literally gone from the room for less than a minute. It really annoys me that I have absolutely no clue what happened while I was gone, I don't even have a way to know if Nephew did whatever he did intentionally or by accident since him saying they were just "playing" could very well be just his honest perception of the situation, or him lying and being vague on purpose because he knows he did something wrong. The reason why I feel like Nephew might be lying about doing bad things on purpose is because Nephew's family has two cats, so I really feel like he should know better already and be more careful. Another point is the fact that this literally happened the INSTANT I was gone from the room, almost as if he was waiting for me to be gone to do something (as far as I recall I haven't ever left him alone with Pudding before this point), though admittedly that could just be unlucky coincidence. Plus, I find it REALLY hard to believe he'd be able to make Pudding cry like that on accident, I've genuinely NEVER heard her make a sound like that, ever, not even at the vet's. On the other hand however I know that he was failing his math class badly before I started tutoring him and I'm almost certain he'd start to fail again if I stopped helping him. Not only that, I'd have to come up with a lie about being too busy to do tutoring or something else since obviously I can't tell his mother "Hey your son might've done something bad but I'm not really sure and don't really have any proof and can't even tell if it was really intentional or not", since I realize how ridiculous that sounds despite still genuinely feeling incredibly uncomfortable about the whole situation.
So with all of that out of the way, would I be the asshole for denying him my tutoring services just because I feel uncomfortable about the idea of him possibly hurting my cat on purpose, even when I don't really have any proof that he did it on purpose or would do it again?
What are these acronyms?
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jsprnt · 3 months
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Americano PT. 6 | Jude Bellingham x Reader
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What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?
A/N: sorry for the late update! enjoy reading. Next update will be around April 12, due to my exams 🫶🫶
W/C: 3.814
part five
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ynln03 Last grind before vacay!
Itsmeluis call me next time 🤙🏽
  ynln03 you would order the entire menu    instead of working 🤔
camavinga my future lawyer 💼
       ynln03 only if you stay in Madrid 😎
linacarolina born to relax, forced to study
           ynln03 come and save me please
yourdollamira can't wait to see you babes!
                ynln03 one more night!
judebellingham did you spill your coffee?             ynln03 reported. go train or something 🤢
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I smile to myself as I read the comments on my Instagram post, taking a sip of my cappuccino. The weather was perfect to get some last-minute work done, so my dad dragged me outside with him earlier this afternoon.
International break had begun again, which meant that we had a little more than a week off. It was last-minute, but I had decided to go on a short trip back to London. I had missed everyone there and needed a small break from everything.
"How is studying going?" I hear, looking up and making eye contact with my dad as he sits back in his chair.
I give him a guilty grin and turn my phone off, shoving it away from myself as I pretend to focus.
"Very good. I understand everything so far.." I mumble, skipping to the next slide of the presentation.
I my eyes dart back to him, he gives me a knowing look, then goes to take a sip of his latte.
"Any questions?"
I hesitate for a moment, questioning what I know and don't know.
"Uh- could you put this situation into a different perspective or give me a different example?" I ask, pointing at the sentence on my screen.
"Alright, let me..."
He pulls the laptop closer to himself, reading the slide before he starts answering my question. I keep nodding absentmindedly, looking at my laptop screen while my thoughts wander. Focus and concentration lessening by the minute.
"Are you even paying attention?" My dad suddenly asks, his hand reaching over to shut the laptop.
I snap out of my daydream to look at him, leaning back in my chair.
"Of course, I'm listening.."
"Doesn't look like that to me. What is it? You look distracted."
I sigh, sitting up straight and finally giving in.
I knew he'd be disappointed by my low efforts, but I genuinely needed a little break.
"I'm just so ready to leave for London. I just need a break from work and this..." I confess, pointing to my screen. He responds with a sigh. It feels like he is going to scold me and give me one of his life lectures, but it never comes. 
Instead, he stands up from his seat, shutting his own laptop.
"Let's go home then. You should finish packing for your trip, and we'll make dinner together. Will you call Carmen for the recipe of what you want to make?"
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I fix my sweatsuit again, knowing it will keep me warm and cozy when I arrive in London in a few hours.
I had checked the weather, and it was expectedly way colder out there than Madrid. To combat the cold, I had pulled out the most comfortable set of clothes from my closet.
"Hurry up!" I hear my dad shout from downstairs, making me jump at the noise, it distracting me from the mirror. I quickly grab onto my suitcase, beginning to roll it out of my room.
"I'm coming, don't rush me, dad! It stresses me out!" I exclaim, standing still for a moment when I reach the stairs. Starting to pull the suitcase down the staircase with some difficulty. I especially pretend to not notice as the suitcase falls a couple steps ahead of me when I lose my grip on the handles.
I hear him fuss again. I finally arrive in front of him, panting in exhaustion. I watch him as he grabs my suitcase from me.
"Come on.." He urges, already walking out of the house, presumably to put my suitcase in his trunk.
I quickly run back up the staircase, grabbing my last essentials before I pull my shoes on. Not forgetting to shut and lock the front door before I run up to the car.
"Can't believe you're taking the whole house with you, kiddo." He mutters, but I laugh in return. Maybe, just perhaps, I had a packing problem..
I look at him for a moment, realizing he looked a little sad. I knew his mood was down since I was leaving for a couple days. I lean forward, clicking some buttons on the screen.
"Come on, dad, cheer up! I know this is your favorite song." I say, smiling and swaying to the melody.
I notice a small smile growing on his face. I begin to laugh when he starts singing.
Of course, I don't hesitate to sing along..
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"Yes, dad. I've arrived safely. I'm just looking for auntie right now."
I strain my neck, trying to hold my phone in between my ear and shoulder. Combining that task with dragging my suitcase and holding onto my carry-on was a challenge.
The London cold hits me almost instantly. It makes me shiver for a moment, my eyes roaming around my proximity to look for anyone I recognize.
"Good, your aunt said she's waiting outside, further on your left."
My dad replies, prompting me to look to my left. Knowing extra details gives me immediate relief. I continue walking in that direction until I finally witness my aunt stepping out of a black Mercedes SUV.
I grin to myself, smiling the moment I spot my auntie. I watch her jog up to me, the sound of her heels clicking against the ground making her presence known.
"Dad, I spotted them. I'll call when we get home. Love you." I speak into the phone, hearing a short 'goodbye' and 'stay safe' from my dad before he hangs up. I rush to put my phone in my pocket, raising my head to look up again.
I'm pulled into the biggest and warmest hug within seconds. My aunt's signature perfume gives me a sense of nostalgia when I breathe in her scent.
I would be lying if I said that I didn't have a bottle of J'Adore by Dior back home. Just to feel like she was in my presence. My aunt was one of the few women in my life who provided the feminine energy I needed growing up. Especially when I moved here for high school all those years ago.
"My sweet girl." She exclaims, pulling back, her eyes roaming around my face as she squeezes me tightly. "You've grown up so much!" She adds, kissing my cheek.
"You look amazing, auntie! Looking younger than before." I reply, my eyes caught up in her sparkly eyeshadow and lash extensions.
"That's the botox, silly." She says, making me chuckle. She'd always been super honest about everything. Not a single lie would leave her lips.
"So, the sassy princess has returned?" I hear, moving my head to look behind my aunt. I immediately recognize her husband walking up to us. His face is kind as ever.
My aunt lets go of me, and I go up to hug my uncle. He was a man I would definitely call my second father.
He'd raised me along with my auntie. Tolerated my attitude through my teenage years, and insecure times in high school. He taught me so many things, from boring politics to how to get over a breakup. My most precious memories being him teaching me about small but important matters.
"Woah! Are you balding?" I tease, saying the exact opposite of what I had told my aunt. I hear her laugh behind me, the expression on my uncle's face turning serious, but I notice the small grin on his face.
"You'll make me catch a flight to Turkey if you don't stop." He replies, touching his still-there hair.
"Come on, let's go home. Your cousins have been asking for you this entire week."
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"y/n! You're finally here!" I hear my cousin shout. Small footsteps heard throughout the house as I stand at the bottom of the stairs.
"Luca!" I exclaim, opening my arms to greet him with a tight hug, swaying our bodies when I hold him.
"How have you gotten this tall already? You're only ten, what's your mom and dad feeding you?" I tease, tickling his stomach. Cute giggles leaving him as he continues laughing.
"Where are your sisters?" I ask, looking around for his twin and baby sister.
"They played so hard with Millie. They fell asleep, but I wanted to wait for you."
I nod at his explanation, making the connection that 'Millie', was the nanny who just left.
"How sweet of you. Let me freshen up, and then we'll play together. You alright with that?" I ask, fixing his brown hair while watching him nod eagerly.
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I thank my uncle as he moves my suitcase up the stairs. He pats my back before telling me to get settled in. I nod, closing the door, and walk away to sit down on the pink vanity chair. All types of nostalgia flooding my senses. Nothing in the room had changed, not even the multiple Zayn Malik posters on the wall.
I go to collect my toiletries and change of clothes from my suitcase, immediately walking into the bathroom to take a quick refreshing shower.
I walk out fifteen minutes later and hurry down the stairs. I notice Luca had started on a puzzle. A generation Alpha kid who's not obsessed with technology, that was refreshing.
"Want some help?" I ask, seeing him struggle with a part of the puzzle.
"Yes, I can't find this piece." He confesses, making me chuckle.
"Hm, okay, so let's see. We need to find a piece with two edges. Can you see some?"
I watch him ponder for a second, his tongue peeking out in concentration as he separates a handful of pieces.
"These?" He asks for confirmation, looking up with a questioning expression.
"You're right! Let's look back at our pattern. Do you think this one will fit?" I ask, pointing at a piece and seeing him shake his head.
"What about this one?" I ask, watching him think for a moment before nodding.
"Try it." I encourage, observing him trying to complete the corners.
"I did it!" He exclaims a while later, joy emitting from his face as his nose scrunches cutely.
"Good job! Now let's try the other ones, hm?"
Why keep ourselves busy with the puzzle until we hear someone walk down the stairs.
"Layla is awake!" Luca yells, announcing the arrival of his twin sister.
She looks confused, freshly woken up. Her hair looking crazy as she stands there at the bottom of the stairs.
"Come here, Layla!" I urge, smiling as she walks up to me, hugging her closely.
I fix her hair as she sits in front of me, pulling her curls back into a ponytail.
"Here I fixed your beautiful hair. Why don't you join your brother in playing puzzles?" I ask and she nods, helping her brother.
I get up after a bit, walking into the kitchen. Seeing my uncle and aunt cook- what I'm assuming, lunch.
"What would our guest like to eat?" My uncle says, putting his apron on. He makes overly large and dramatic gestures, messing around with me.
"Oh- the sandwich you always made me after school! Doesn't taste the same when I make it." I request, sitting on a chair.
"Coming right up!"
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"She's so cute! Don't think she remembers me at all. Look at her face." I laugh, holding the three year old as I sit on the sofa. Our bellies full with delicious dinner.
"Of course she does. You were one of the first to hold her." My aunt tries to convince me, nudging my arm.
"She looks disgusted."
"That's just her resting face. Runs in the family." She replies, making me laugh.
"Is this what I look like as well?"
"When you were sixteen, yes. Or when I used slang to communicate with you." My uncle replies, setting his cup of tea down.
"I remember that, it was traumatizing, to be honest."
"Can't wait to use it on Layla." He jokes again, laughing.
"If she's anything like me you'll be in trouble."
"That's the fun part about having girls.."
I shake my head in disbelief, returning my attention to Maya on my lap. Cooing at her chubby cheeks as she chews on a fruit snack.
"Have you made plans yet?" My aunt asks, making me turn my head to look at her.
"I'm hanging with Amira if you guys don't mind?"
"Of course! You're not a teenager anymore, you don't have to ask. We don't mind, but please, if you drink, drink moderately."
"Don't worry, that's something I can control." I smile cheekily, waving Maya's arms side to side. Hearing her cute giggles at the movement makes me smile harder.
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"Amira, am I supposed to wear something in specific?" I ask through the phone, rummaging through my closet. Thankful I hung my clothes up in my closet last night.
"Nope, just getting our nails done. Oh, but if you're coming early, you have to wait a little longer since I have clients coming in." She replies.
Amira and I met in high school and still are the closest of friends nowadays. I had moved back to Spain while she stayed in the city she was born in, London. She had followed her dreams of becoming a full-time stylist, and her work was insane.
"Okay, I'll be there in like- an hour or so..." I mutter, distracted by my clothing options. Eventually, I grab some baggy jeans and a white top. Deciding to add the details in my jewelry and shoes. 
After getting dressed and finishing my makeup, I grab my handbag. Finally getting out of the house and starting to walk in the direction of Amira's office.
I eventually arrive about fifteen minutes later, standing in front of the office door, waiting for Amira to open it. I raise my eyebrows in surprise when she appears, beautiful as ever.
"Look at you! How pretty have you become in two years? Photos and FaceTime calls don't do this pretty face justice.." Amira exclaims, going in to hug me.
"Could say the same about you. New hairstyle? When did you get your braids done?" I ask, pulling away from her.
"Literally last night." She answers, running a hand down a few braids.
"Well, you look fucking amazing." I compliment, taking my jacket off and hanging it up on the coat hanger.
"When is your client coming in?" I ask, turning to her.
"In a few. Thought you'd like to play with some pieces until I'm finished." She says, grabbing my hand and dragging me into a different spot of the office. Racks, on top of racks of clothing, greeting me.
"This is your size, right? If I remember correctly."She asks, pointing to a label stuck on the front of a rack. Making me nod in confirmation, in awe at the amount of clothes.
I rummage through the racks of clothing as Amira becomes busy with her client. I was looking for a way to entertain myself. Without interrupting her and her client- or clients. It definitely sounded like two masculine voices, at least.
I hum to myself as I flip through the rack of dresses. Instantly, a beautiful black mini dress catches my attention. The deep neckline gives it a sexy and absolutely breathtaking touch.
I immediately walk into the minimally decorated changing room on the left, hanging up the dress on the hanger before locking the door behind me.
Putting the dress on is fairly easy. I struggle a bit with the zipper at the back of the dress, but eventually I manage to zip it up. Finally looking at myself in the mirror after a moment. Admiring the way it compliments my body type.
I need some heels to complete the look, black in color, preferably. I unlock the door, eyes scanning through the selection of heels, before I grab a pair of black buckled kitten heels. Then, I go and grab my phone from Amira's desk, walking back quickly. I have to take pictures, especially with how good the lighting is.
My phone is in my left hand as I try to bend down, trying to balance myself as I fidget to buckle my heels up. I hear some footsteps nearby, but decide to ignore them as I focus on the buckles. 
Though, my effort of balancing myself goes in vain as my foot slips unexpectedly, making me fall backwards, a small shout escapes my lips.
I close my eyes, waiting for my body to collide with the floor, but instead I feel arms wrap around my back. Holding me up from falling.
My eyes snap open, eyes wide, and in shock as my brain struggles to comprehend anything when I make eye contact with someone I thought I'd never see here in a million years.
Neither of us utters a word for the next few seconds, minutes maybe. I feel his grip get tighter as my heel slips again, making me yell.
I realize the position we're in, his face is close enough for me to smell his minty breath. A curse leaves my lips, and I try to detach his hands from my waist as I stand up straight.
"Let go."
"Are you stalking me?" The Brit accuses, letting go of me and stepping back.
"What the fuck? Why would I stalk you? You're stalking me." I retort, pointing at him. Immediately going to smooth out my dress, pulling it down as it had ridden up unbeknownst to me.
He doesn't respond, continuing to just look at me without any sort of emotion on his face.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I add, pulling a face. I raise my hand, waving it in front of his face, before I hear an annoyed scoff.
"What do you think?" He asks, pointing at the floor covered in clothes, which I presume he'd dropped trying to 'help' me.
"Do I look like a mind reader?" I retort, looking up from the mess on the floor.
"Whatever." He mutters, picking up the clothes, walking into the empty changing room, and locking the door behind him.
I roll my eyes, pissed at the fact that even a thousand kilometers later, I still managed to run into him. I kick the heels off my feet, shoving them to the side neatly, and go sit down on the couch in front of the changing rooms.
I hesitantly sit down before I hear Amira shout my name. Her face appears in the corner of my eye as she walks up to me, a very recognizable person behind her. 
"Yeah?" I ask, fidgeting with the neckline of the dress.
"Woah, the dress looks so fucking good on you." She says, coming up to stand in front of me.
"Yeah, I know it's just- wait he's..?" I trail off, eyes flickering to the insanely familiar guy next to her.
"Oh, this is my client, Trent, y/n." She alternates between us, and I reach out to shake his hand.
Then it clicks.
Jude was here for his international break. Which meant he was probably hanging out with his England teammates.
Of course, he was.
"You play at- Liverpool, right?" I ask, looking into his big brown eyes. He nods, reintroducing himself again in his Liverpool- or Scouser accent.
Our attention is directed to the changing room as the door rattles. Jude appearing from the room wearing a black suit. I immediately avert my eyes in case he thinks I actually care.
"There he is, looking good man." I hear Trent say, his Liverpool accent prominent.
"It does look really nice." Amira says, walking over to fix parts of the material.
I hold back a scoff. If only she knew how much of an arse he was.
I roll my eyes as I hear him being complimented over and over again. I lean back again, trying to forget the embarrassing situation that had happened earlier. My peaceful meditation interrupted as I hear Amira gasp.
"You two know each other. Right?"
I open my eyes, seeing Trent and Amira both look back and forth in between us.
I hear an uninterested 'yeah' come from Jude as I follow up with a 'sadly'. Going back to close my eyes. Wanting to do anything but interact with him.
A couple minutes pass before I hear my name being shouted by Amira. Her voice coming from her own office. I stand up and walk inside, smiling at Amira as she waves for me to join them. Shoving a pink mug of something warm onto the table.
I don't even register the fact that I'm still dressed like I was going to hit the club in a few minutes.
"Thank you." I smile, sitting down next to her. I take a sip of the drink. Avoiding eye contact with Jude, who's sitting right across from me.
A very familiar sight.
Maybe, I should instigate a little.
"So, Trent what are you two doing here?" I ask, a very obvious question, but enough to pry.
"We have some important events coming up and wanted Amira to style us." He answers, his eyes flickering towards her.
Woah, that wasn't a normal, friendly look. What did these two have going on?
"That's nice, you'll look the best out of everyone there." I smile, throwing him a wink, my arm wrapping around Amira shoulder.
"Yeah, definitely. Though, how do you two know each other." Trent asks, throwing Jude and I a questioning look.
"We work together back in Madrid." I answer, watching Jude roll his eyes.
"For Real Madrid?"
"Yeah, I'm on the marketing and PR team."
"Oh! You're the-" He begins, placing a hand on his mate's shoulder as if to tease him. He's cut off as Jude throws him a 'don't say anything else look.'
It forces me to hold back a laugh as I watch his face turn sour.
So, he did talk about me to other people?
Our conversation is interrupted as Trent's phone starts ringing loudly. Their driver letting them know he had arrived. 
I watch Amira walk them out. My eyebrows raise when she returns with the biggest smile on her face.
"Something is up with you and that Liverpool boy." I whisper, squinting at her when she shakes her head in denial.
"Go get changed, our nail appointment is in an hour." She ushers, changing the topic.
"Well, I called it." I tease, chuckling at the flustered look on her face. Getting up to go change.
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mrsriddlenott · 11 months
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I just had this random thought of AngryBF!Harry x Fem!reader where she helps him through his anger in many ways.
masterlist
Warnings: Smut. Anger. Aggressive Sex. Regular 5th year “angst”.
“I just can’t get a break. I went all summer without a scrap of news, I’m behind on all my class work, and now Ron and Hermione seem to think I’m a bloody DADA teacher.” You and Harry sat on the edge of his bed as Harry held his head in his hands ranting. “It was all luck, why cant they get that. It’s not like I have any control over my life and when I’ll be attacked next.”
You and Harry had only been dating since the Yule Ball but were serious nonetheless. When he would need comfort after the death of Cedric Diggory and when no one could properly owl him, you were there. You were the guide that kept him from making too much of a scene, but with Umbridge pushing Harry every second with detention after detention, and denying every part of what happened last year, Harry was on edge even with you.
“Harry, you have to see where they’re coming from don’t you?”
“Not you too! Merlin of all people I thought you’d understand y/n!” Harry snapped often these days, you knew it wasn’t necessarily his words, you just wished he could calm down.
“I do understand Harry, but if I’m not going to be of any help, I’ll just go.”
“No y/n/n, you know thats not what I meant. I just can’t get even a bit of control anymore and it’s driving me mad.” And with that, you suddenly had an idea.
“Well, I can think of ways you can gain control cant you?” At the change in your tone Harry finally lifted his head to see you.
“What are you implying Darling?” His narrowing eyes were already dark with anger and he seemed unable to focus.
“Well I was thinking, next time you’re all strung out like this, you can always come to me. Don’t sit and yell at Umbridge just to get stuck in detention when you could be spending your time with me, Love.”
“Yeah, I like that idea y/n” Harry didn’t take a second to think it over as he seemed to light up with a bright smile, already over his prior annoyances.
At first it wasn’t anything inappropriate, after classes Harry would often storm into your dorm or pull you into his, already yelling about a DA meeting or something Snape or Umbridge did. You’d simply talk and cuddle until he was okay. Eventually Harry realized just how distracting kissing you was and before long would have you pinned to a wall with his lips on your neck at least once a week. When he had noticed how exhilarating it felt to be able to grab you from anywhere in the castle and drag you to his dorm just because he was mad, he simply couldn’t stop. He absolutely adored when you’d let go of control just for him.
And thats how you ended up here, on hands and knees in front of your very angry boyfriend.
“No one ever fucking listens, no one lets me speak…except you of course, hands.” His voice softened as he spoke directly to you. While you laid your hands on your naked back, laying yourself forward onto his bed, Harry took both your hands in one of his as the other lined himself up at your entrance, slowly letting his tip ease into you.
“I have less and less time for myself, I just want to be able to do what I want whenever I want,” Without warning Harry slammed into you fully, pushing himself forward and resting his bare chest on your back, lips next to your ear as he spoke, “That’s you of course.”
“Are you okay still? You remember what to say if you don’t want to continue, yes?” You nodded your head from where it was on his pillow, “Words Darling.”
“Yes, I say Snitch.” You were breathless already as you uncontrollably clenched around him, forcing a sharp sigh from the boy above you.
“Good girl” Harry whispered as he started an unrelenting pace, straightening himself and pushing your abdomen down with his hand on yours.
“You’re perfect y’know that? Bloody perfect stress reliever you are.” He laughed softly as his free hand roamed up and down your side.
He was pounding into you so hard his bed shook and the curtains began to part on their own. The sound of wet skin slapping together and your moans of Harry’s name filled the room.
He drove into you with force you had never felt before, he was quickly forcing you into your orgasm as his pace remained fast and hard against your g-spot.
“Fuck I wann- Ahh Fuck y/n I wanna look at you when I come.” Harry released your hands and held your waist tightly as he flipped you around plowing himself back in as if he never left.
Harry smoothed the hair off your sweaty forehead, keeping eye contact and smiling softly, before bending down to kiss you aggressively on the lips. His and your own moans being drowned by each others lips as he came inside you, your juices mixing as they slid out around him.
“Fuck, I’ve needed this all week,” Harry sighed breathlessly as he rested his head on your chest, not making any attempt of pulling out. As he yawned, you slipped your fingers through his messy hair smiling and breathing heavily, “I love you Harry”
“I love you too Darling”
~~
Feedback??
Requests??
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Would they catch you?
maybe trying to jump into their arms while they hold something wasn’t the best of ideas
characters: most adult/teenage characters
warnings: none
a/n: I always wanted to try something like this, so I decided to do a quick one to distract myself from how much stress school causes me atm.
also, these are my own headcannons for this type of scenario, if you disagree with any of those or have your own, feel free to write them down, since I love learning what others think of these characters that honestly kinda grew on me.
Anyway, hope you enjoy!
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The moment they notice you sprinting into their direction, shouting for them to catch you, they drop or put away everything in their hands. Once you eventually are in their arms they are finally able to let out a sigh of relief, happy that they managed to catch you this easily, and who knows, maybe a chuckle or two escapes their mouth as well.
Ayaka, Albedo, Beidou, Childe, Heizou, Kaeya, Lisa, Aether, Shenhe, Yelan, Kazuha, Xinyan, Zhongli, Thoma
They yell at you not to try it only to quickly drop everything once you actually leap into the air, easily catching you as you giggle to yourself as you enjoy the feeling being held, even if you can expect a big lecture afterwards.
Candace, Cyno, Eula, Jean, Keqing, Kuki Shinobu, Ei, Xiao, Lumine, Noelle, Kokomi, Gorou
While they prepare themselves as best as they can, the sheer force of your leap, coupled with your run-up and their surprise causes them to tumble backwards, falling onto the ground with you still in their hands. But while they may have landed pretty heavily on their butt, they can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of what just happened.
Amber, Bennett, Venti, Yanfei, Xiangling
Sure, they could catch you, but they did warn you not to do something so stupid and it would be a shame to get that new mug they just bought destroyed by letting it shatter on the floor. And while they’ll make sure to make up for it, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to prepare for a sore behind coupled with a “I told you it was a bad idea” or even a smug.
Ayato, Faruzan, Mona, Rosaria, Sara, Scaramouche, Yae Miko, Ningguang
Panic sets in the moment they see you take off, and while they may try to catch you, it’s too late for them to lift their arms, causing you to crash into them before tumbling down together. Be sure to apologize a lot and to give them a much quicker heads-up next time… or don’t even try again to begin with.
Chongyun, Collei, Ganyu, Layla, Barbara
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moonstruckme · 7 months
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Hey! I recently discovered your blog and I love your writing! I’m having a stressful time with schoolwork at the moment and it’s really comforting for me. I was wondering if you’ll take my request of the mauraders comforting y/n after she doesn’t get into the university she loves (Cambridge)? My interview’s in a few days and I’m feeling nervous about the result if it goes badly. Or anything along those lines really!! Thank you for your work! <33
Hi babe, I'm glad you like them! Good luck if you haven't done your interview yet, and please try to keep in mind (I know it's not easy, I was shit at it when I was applying to universities) that it'll all be okay regardless! I never would have imagined I'd end up at the school I did, but I've had an amazing time here, so I think it really is what you make it <3
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1k words
Your heartbreak is intermittent. Your boyfriends have affixed you with everything you need, from your heaviest blanket to your favorite treats from the corner store, but even with the distraction of your comfort movie on the TV in front of you, James keeps catching the occasional sluggish tear rolling down your face. It seems like you’re only able to slip free of your grief for a few minutes at a time before you remember it, tiny sounds of anguish slipping past your lips as your eyes fill with tears all over again. 
He reaches over you now as a silent sob jerks your shoulders, tucking you under his arm. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispers feebly. The words feel emptier with each repetition. 
You clearly don’t believe him, sniffling and pulling your legs closer to your chest. 
Your boyfriends share in your agony, Remus keeping his stare determinedly on the movie despite the worried set to his brows while Sirius’ eyes keep flitting to you, continually looking like he’s about to say something and then deciding against it.
Something must happen in that head of yours, because suddenly your crying worsens, awful, wracking sobs tearing out of you despite how hard you’re clearly trying to suppress them. 
Remus turns around in his seat, crestfallen. “Dovey, come on,” he pleads, grabbing the remote to pause the movie. Your ragged breaths sound worse in the new silence. “You’re okay, sweetheart.” 
“I’m sorry,” you say miserably. You press a hand to your mouth to quiet yourself.
“No, don’t be sorry.” James scrubs a hand up and down your shoulder. “Let it out if you need to, angel.” 
You won’t, face growing blotchier by the second, but you do lean into his side as a compromise. 
“I know you’re disappointed,” Remus says tentatively, “but I really do think it’ll all work out in the end. In a year this won’t seem nearly as important. Probably sooner.” 
You don’t respond; you don’t believe him, either. 
On your other side, Sirius makes a soft sound. “What’s going through your head, sweetness?” 
“Just—” you sniff, wiping a hand under one eye too roughly for James’ liking. He intercepts it, thumbing the tears from your other cheek far more tenderly. “I’m so d—disappointed in myself.” You break halfway through, covering your mouth with your hand as sobs jostle their way out of you. 
“Don’t say that.” Sirius is practically begging. “You worked so hard, there wasn’t anything more you could have done.” 
“You—you can’t know that. I could have tried harder.” 
“Darling, these are pointless thoughts,” Remus says gently. “There’s no use in thinking about what might have been different. You did work very hard, maybe as hard as you could, but it’s done now.” 
Your only response is a soft, half-repressed keening sound, and Remus gets out of his seat, moving to sit on the coffee table in front of you. His knees bump the couch as he reaches forward to grasp your ankles. 
“What do you want for yourself—say, a year from now?” 
Your eyebrows scrunch while James’ rise. He’s not sure this is the line of thought Remus should be leading you down right now; up until a couple hours ago, the answer had hinged on the university you’ve just been rejected from. Sirius looks similarly dubious, gray eyes moving between you and Remus warily. 
“Take your time,” Remus urges. One of his palms slides up the line of your calf and back down again. “Think about it.” 
“I want…I want good friends at my school,” you say, eyes downcast as you think. “I want to like where I live—to feel at home—and to like my classes too.” You look up at him and your eyes have gone glossy. “I just want to be happy,” you whimper. 
There’s heartache in the crease of Remus’ brows, but he rubs your shin consolingly. “You will be happy, sweetheart. None of the things you just said are exclusive to any one school.” He rests both hands on your knees, giving them a little squeeze. “I know it might not feel like it right now, but that wasn’t your only path to happiness. You might even make better friends, or take more interesting classes, or feel more at home wherever you end up than you ever would have at that place.” A tear dribbles down to your chin, and Remus’ eyebrows scrunch concernedly. “Do you get what I’m saying?” 
“I do. Thanks. Just, I can’t—” You suck in a breath, trying to keep more tears at bay. “I can’t think about that right now.” 
“I know.” He rubs your calf, lips pursed. “I know you’re not ready to think about what’s next just yet, darling, but just know you’re going to be alright. We’ll talk about it when you’re ready.” 
“Do you want to wallow for a bit?” Sirius asks, cozying up to you and needling his arms under yours to hug you from the side. You sniff, and he takes it for agreement, setting his chin on your shoulder. “Perfect.” He plants a kiss on your cheek. “Wallowing is my specialty, sweetpea. If you wanna cuddle for the next twelve to eighteen hours, I’m your man.” 
“You do have work in the morning,” Remus reminds him idly. 
“Priorities, Moony. Our beautiful genius sweetheart is sad, if I have to shirk all my responsibilities for the next two weeks to cuddle her, then that’s a small price to pay.” 
His scheme works, and a tiny smile worms its way onto your lips. James can practically feel Sirius’ internal fist-pump. 
“What?” he goads you, giving your jaw another quick kiss. “You don’t think I’ll do it? No sacrifice is too much for my girl, you know.” 
“This is not wallowing,” you point out, and he pouts at you. 
“Fine, you’ve caught me.” He dips his head to nip at the ticklish spot on your neck, a near desperate move in James’ opinion, and grins when you giggle unwillingly. “I only like it when I wallow. I want you smiling, without a single unpleasant thought going through that lovely head of yours, all day long. But alas,” he sighs exaggeratedly, resting the side of his head on your shoulder, “we can mope, if that’s what you want.” 
You don’t reject his offer, placing your head atop his, but James notices that some of the heaviness has waned from your countenance. He leans over and presses his lips to your temple.
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