#i didn't reread this so i'm sorry if what i'm saying doesn't make sense

[maddy-ferguson]

since we're having ship discourse, i have to say that i disliked joyce and hopper's relationship dynamic in s3. they were so annoyingly portrayed and were always fighting, i am not sure why people are saying mlvn having fights/problems are a special thing that only exists in mlvn's relationship issues. and this sort of 'we give couples problems and then resolve them' writing is a thing that exists in duffers' writing. s3 ships are literally an example of that. and i just don't see joyce and hopper as some sort of a subversion of the trope, hopper wanted to be with her in s3 and then expectedly he was given what he wanted. and yeah yeah, it took time for them to be a truly thing in s4, but is it really some sort of a 'subversion of tropes', if anything it seems more tropy and fits the standards of a relationship. jncy like you said is also an expected relationship. like sorry but a girl breaking up with a jock and getting together with the town's outcast freak is not a subversion... it's literally a textbook from 80's relationship and couple thing. the only relationship subversion is really lumx if we're being real. and if we count dustin and suzie to account, then their relationship is pretty much expected anyway, and no, suzie being a mormon doesn't really change that.

and controversial take but i think we are sometimes going way too reach-y when we say the duffers are great at subversion when they fall to many tropes and stereotypes and expected things in their writing. just bc they sometimes subvert doesnt mean ST is a representation of subversion of tropes.

nooo don't use the d word...

i'm season 3 jpper and s3 hopper's biggest hater. in a season that has russians under a mall he's what i hate the most. and yes, i feel like if you're someone who thinks the duffers are all about subverting tropes and are aware of bsy then surely you must know that jncy is the most cliché trope-fitting relationship they could've possibly come up with?

i feel like there's evidence that they like subverting expectations and tropes (robin being a lesbian when they made you think she was gonna be with steve, the straight person getting rejected by the gay person instead of the other way around, eden and argyle's little "love at first sight" moment that makes fun of the concept, a main character who's had a female love interest for four seasons being in a love triangle where one of the option's a boy) but at the same time the reason why harmful tropes or just boring tropes become tropes over time is just that the people writing the stories...aren't aware of what they're doing necessarily? and the example i'm gonna use isn't a trope per se, but you know how in season 1 lucas is suspicious of el and doesn't like her? they had their ONE black character make the little white girl (who had a blonde wig on when he gets real mad lol) whose story we know and who we're made to empathize with sad. people (adults!) were literally racist to caleb over it. very predictable but they're also white people who didn't see it coming. things like that are why even though jncy is the most expected 80s sci-fi couple ever, i'm like...are they doing it on purpose and are gonna end the show with them broken up or are they just the men who wrote jonathan taking pictures of his future girlfriend taking her shirt off and then used it as a plot point and made us feel bad for jonathan when steve broke his camera over it because he's poor and couldn't afford a new one. like idk. i'm giving them the benefit of the doubt (not saying that if jonathan and nancy end up together i'm gonna throw a fit or anything i'll just be genuinely surprised) but i really just don't know. and jncy being too expected isn't the reason why i started thinking they were breaking them up but if you sent this to me i'm assuming you read my other answer on the subject! it's just kind of the icing on the cake. same with mlvn and bsy i don't think that's anyone's main argument but i just feel like expecting them to subvert bsy and then not expecting them to subvert whatever trope jncy is doesn't make sense. because that trope is like THE trope.

and yeah the fighting is definitely not exclusive to mlvn especially not in season 3, but i guess for joyce and hopper you could say they're fighting because they're not together? which is different from fighting because of their relationship? but yeah. it's just that with mlvn there's a million other things.

[subarashiihibi]

my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言っ���るのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

[rmd-writes]

hello rmd!! as i was rereading what like it's hard for the nth time, i just realized that they never said i love yous in real time (does that make sense???) or there was never a scene where they said their first i love yous because it was 12 mos later when it was on writing (which is perfect) so i wanted to ask if you have any ideas or scenarios or hcs in which they said if first??? like idk from your drafts or something?? obvs cannot get enough of this au!!!

hi nonnie! I saw this ask on the weekend, didn't have time to answer it and then forgot until just now - sorry!

I'm so glad you like this story, it really means so much to me that you've reread it at all, let alone more than once! 💖💖 What you said does make sense and when I was writing it, I wrestled with Alex and Henry not saying their first "I love you" on screen so to speak because I wanted to give them that moment, but I also needed to move the story forward!

I don't have drafts to share because I never actually wrote the scene but I have thought about it and I think that they would have both known that they were in love for some time before they actually say it.

A couple of months after the baseball game, Alex is in the middle of trial prep and working impossibly long hours (more so than usual). Henry hasn't seen him for over a week beyond Alex crawling into his bed at midnight and passing out with his chest pressed to Henry's back, then rolling out of bed again far too early in the morning to go to work. So, in a bid to actually see his boyfriend while he's awake, Henry stops by Alex's office one night with dinner.

Alex is running on more caffeine than is advisable (his usual intake is inadvisable, he's exceeded that. Brianna has refused to bring him more coffee so Alex has resorted to getting the junior staff to do it for him instead, to much disapproval from Bri). When Henry texts him to say he's downstairs with dinner at 8pm Alex realises that he hasn't eaten at all that day except for a shitty muffin that Bri stole from a conference room and just about forced down his throat at 2pm because she was sick of Alex being hangry. He races down to the lobby to see Henry and almost knocks him over because he hugs him so hard. He takes a second just to rest his head on Henry's shoulder and inhale his scent because he fucking misses his boyfriend.

Regretfully, Alex doesn't have time to sit and eat with Henry, if he's going to have any chance of making it home (no, he's not going to think about the fact that he just thought of Henry's apartment as 'home', it's just an expression, don't fucking mention it) while Henry is still awake.

"Fuck, I love you for this," Alex says, kissing Henry lightly on the lips before taking the take out container that Henry offers him and walking away.

He doesn't clock what he's said until he's halfway back to the elevator. He turns around slowly when it hits him and Henry is still standing there, smiling.

Alex walks back to Henry. "So, I said what I said," he says, almost defiantly.

"You did," Henry replies, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"And I fucking meant it." Alex takes a breath. "I love you."

Henry's smile lights up the lobby, hideous fluorescent lights be damned.

"I love you too."

They kiss for far longer and with more passion than is advisable in Alex's workplace but neither of them care.

"Go finish your work," Henry murmurs against Alex's lips.

(Alex makes it back to Henry's apartment at 10.30pm that evening. He tells Henry he loves him with his whole body, writing it into his skin with his words, the press of his lips and the cut of his teeth. Henry says it back over and over and over again, as he presses Alex into the mattress, with the featherlight touch of his fingers and the roll of his hips and his breath warm against Alex's neck as he speaks.)

don't estop me now series (aka rwrb lawyer au - I'm begging you to please read them in the order I've published them in for maximum enjoyment)

[himejoshiangels]

batgirl 2000 reread bcs I'm crazyy...IM NUTS!!!

her and that damned rose..what does it all MEAN!!! it makes a reappearance l8r...also I missed this dynamic so so bad. me when I'm in a seeing my kids as an extension of myself competition and my opponent is Bruce Wayne

I always forget how fucking potent and tension filled the first arc of this comic is man. it's like, bcs cass can't speak or even have thought bubbles everything's communicated via her actions or the words of the ppl around her. every panel she's in has to be chock-full of emotion and every time she interacted with someone the implications and the ffUCKKKKK‼️

the atmosphere in this damn comic man

I dunno man not to "back in my day!" when it wasn't even my day. but comics these days don't trust the audience even a little. there's always gotta be paragraphs of text having a character explicitly state every detail of their motivation and like not that old comics didn't also do that but at least the words they wrote were pretty like fuck man who are they hiring to write this shit anymorw

this transition is straight out of a movie. I know we say this with literally everything but if ANY comic in the world should get an animated show it has to be this one. top contender. it's formulated like one already, it's episodic w perfect overall themes and bigger plots. even the vibe is perfect, the grainy mtv cartoon thing it has going. every day I pray for a batgirl 2000 cartoon it'd go so crazy jsut adapt the shit straight

batgirl 2000 just keeps hitting you and doesn't let up bcs in the same episode SORRY issue..where cass meets lady Shiva for the first time is also the same issue where babs first begins to address her as Cassandra

^^WHICH IS CRAZY bcs we have to keep in mind that up to this point cass is nameless, she's only been referred to as batgirl. this is one of the first times she goes out as not batgirl too tho, bcs Bruce benched her. it's GAHHHHH that whole thing where vigilantes angst and drama abt titles and legacies and their individual identities is exacerbated so so bad for cass bcs batgirl is the first name she's ever given. like it's all she ever knew and ever was. Cassandra came after and THIS

THIS PANEL RUGHT HERE ohhh my god it makes me crazy. she's only batgirl. she doesn't even have the words to explain it yet. she's only a reflection of the city she's sworn to protect its all she is and at first its lowkey all Bruce let's her be. not to mention. her relationship w babs, I'll speak on them l8r can't do it now I'll explode

a 1:1 animated series man. it's all I can think about so so many iconic moments. I don't kill but I don't lose either is already as cold as cold gets. the way the comic is formatted already fully visualizes as animated in my brain and it's so so fun to watch

LIKE LOOK AT THIS!! cinematic as he'll and it's not even moving..

both cass and Bruce hit the bullseye like....

Cass's perfectionism is such an underrated character trait of hers (in like the greater batfam fandom and more modern comics not here, never here) bcs she literally sacrifices her life about it. she's so self detrimental about how not perfect she is anymore and Bruce's nonsense doesn't help either. man sees himself reflected in a teenage girl once and looses all his damn sense. I'm just, yea we know "mediocre for a life time or perfect for a year" < god that goes hard, but the true tragedy that is cass's inability to see how unnatural and upsetting it is that her mind works the way it does at all, that she can run into bullets head on but complains that she could do it with more skill when she was 6 or whatever like girl...never evr letting myself become desensitized to her trauma, David cain when I get you...

AND ANOTHER THING AND ANOTHER THING!!! KKKKKKKKK!! the sideplots and b plots and background characters in this comic..each of them are offered so much empathy by the narrative and are written purposefully to reflect or foil whatever cass's current conflic is all while feeling like fully fleshed characters even if they only appear for one issue

^^ I have feeling abt these panels but my lawyers are advising me not to speak atvthis ttime

THFUCKINH THE ROSE!!AGAIN!!! so sure this is old news but my running theory is that it definitely ties into cass's sense of self and identity outside of her living weapon status. this whole issue is prime babs v. bruce custody battle material bcs babs wants cass to be able to have a normal life, to be someone outside of batgirl bcs where she is now isn't healthy even a little bit but bruce argues that cass doesn’t need that, all she needs is her devotion to the mission < now we don't have time to unpack all that but in this moment we see her make the choice, dropping the rose. in the very first panel of the whole comic cass does the very same thing, she drops the puzzle (representing her childhood) in favor of violence bcs at the time its all she knows THE PARALLELS HELP HELP MEEE

AND AND THIS NEXT WHOLE PANEL is so evocative of the first few issues where cass couldnt yet put her emotions into words. just atmosphere and silence. BECAUSE she's confused!!! bruce says justice is what she needs that it will make her feel better, feel normal but it doesn't!! she looks over the city and still feels..feeling!!!! she picks the rose back up and extends a hand out to barbara bcs she was right, she not Bruce, she can't sit in a cave all alone all day and feel better (<which arguably doesn't even work for him either)

in the next few issues she meets steph and tim which is soo fun bcs letting cass have friends her age opens up so much for potential dynamics. especially her relationship w steph, not just in a stephcass way but in a narrative foil way, to me at least

next post I'll probably talk abt cass's guilt, self hatred, and need for atonement but we move‼️

[prince-liest]

Thank you for answering my ask and sorry for sending you a new one so quickly, but I just have a lot of Thoughts(tm) about this au!!!

So I keep going back to reread the first chapter, both in its entirety and just specific bits that I like, and I keep noticing how.... polite? Alastor is being? And it's just totally throwing me off lol.

Like, I actually read the snippet you posted of Vox offering Alastor's new shoes before I realized/read the first chapter, and thought it was a little odd how nice Alastor was being, as at that point I thought it was a snippet of a new 666 chapter.

But Alastor being polite in this universe totally makes sense!! He's just been beat up in an alley way, watched two guys get killed in front of him, was (kidnapped) taken to his "savior's" room, and hypnotized by said savior.

Of COURSE he's going to be polite to Vox!! Vox can electrocute and hypnotize people!! Alastor isn't an idoit, he knows he's in hell with a very dangerous person. That he's in a room with someone with someone more powerful than he is, that if Vox did get annoyed or angry at him, and hurt him, Alastor doesn't have that great of odds fighting back, and it's not like someone else is going to pop out and save him.

He's being careful.

But, he doesn't want to be taken advantage of. He knows that if acts like helpless prey, then he's going to be treated like it. So he has to establish that Vox sees him as an equal, or else he risks Vox hurting or hypnotizing him if Vox wanted to.

There's also another thing I noticed- Alastor's.... animalistic (if that is the right word) tendencies. Like, Alastor attacked both Vel and Vox, but didn't use the knife he was on either of them. I think this really interesting, as it would be smarter to use the knife (it's like Vox doesn't know he has it) but by using his teeth and his hands to hurt, it showcases Alastor's new animalistic tendencies. Though I don't know if this was On Purpose, or if it's just a theory lol.

Anyway, I just wanted a chance to talk more about this fic because im really, REALLY enjoying it, and I can't wait for me! (But I can! So don't feel the need to rush! You've already written so much! Take your time!)

One LAST ASK, I promise you (🤞 but probably not lol, sorry) so I'm pretty sure you hinting that Alastor killed someone and was burying their body before being killed himself (like in canon), but what caught my attention is that VOX doesn't seem to know this?? Like he doesn't know that Alastor has killed people?? Which makes sense, it's not common knowledge. But!! Vox has already established that he knows more about Alastor than the general public would, like he knows more about his relationship with his dad (maybe Vox hunted down Alastor's dad and forced him to spill info regarding Alastor, which is hilarious to think about lol). So I'm just SO EXCITED for when it's revealed that Alastor also killed people in life, and for Vox to no doubt get so hard he passes out lol. Also, this means that Vox doesn't know that Alastor is a cannibal, which is also really interesting! (Also, I'm not sure if you were hunting at Alastor's cannibalistic tendencies when he won't let go of Vel with his teeth, but it is a funny mental image to me of Alastor just, trying to eat Vel because a new part of himself is starving for flesh.)

But I do fucking love it. Ehehehehe. These are the EXACT things that I was hoping the first chapter would get people thinking about. I just. GESTURES WILDLY. THERE'S SO MUCH, IN WHAT YOU SAID. SO MUCH. But I can't say shit about it one way or the other for fear of spoilers. Just know that I love you for this.

Actually the one thing I can confirm is that Vox indeed is not under any impression that Alastor is anything more than just, like, a really talented storyteller and true crime podcaster!

[thelittleliars]

Love Forever? | Pt. 4

Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader Yelena Belova x fem!Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: a bit of fluff, sadness, SPOILER: (death)

Words: 2.7K

AN: I'm pretty sure that Part 5 will be the finale. I don't have plans to continue this any longer. Enjoy this messy chapter :) Next time I post will be for P.S. I Want You .

Part 1 , Part 5

"I can feel you starring detka." Natasha blushed, she wasn't sure if it was because she got caught or because you called her detka. "Sorry." She apologized shyly. You turned your head to her, as you opened your eyes you saw her green ones looking at you softly. "Why are you sorry?" 

Her eyes gazed around your face for a few seconds before completely adverting them from you. "We're not anything anymore. I don't have the right to stare at you." It hurt her deeply for loosing you. One some days she still feels like love is only for children but her sister did a great job to show that it wasn't true, Yelena showed her daily how much more powerful we all are with love. You smiled sadly at the shorter woman. "Considering I'm dying you have every right to stare at me." 

"And I have every right to throw up if you guys continue this shit in front of me." Yelena groaned but didn't open her eyes. "Good morning to you too. The offer of starring at me also stands for you." The blonde sister snorted. "Yeah no thanks. I'd rather give up eating mac & cheese instead of starring at your ugly face." Your heart bloomed with warmth at her teasing. You were going to miss this. Natasha sensed the sudden sadness in you but honestly didn't know how to cheer you up. It wasn't easy for any of them. "What is still left on your bucket list?" You thought about it for a while and came up with nothing. Then you remembered having s list on your phone. "Let me unlock my phone. I have a list on there." You sat up, then pushed your body over Natasha's and stretched your arm to the edge of the air mattress where you phone laid. The red head couldn't breathe at the closeness of your body. Even though you were only hovering over her, it drove her insane. She could only function properly after you plopped back into your previous position.

"Alright let's see." You muttered to yourself. Yelena who was suddenly wide awake looked at your phone curiously. "Number 1: find your soulmate." Her fingers touched your phone screen and deleted that point. "Won't happened now that you stopped yourself and leave yourself to death." Natasha cleared her throat, she doesn't understand how her sister can be so chill about your deaths. Yelena only seemed so chill, she had to joke or constantly bring up your death to cope with it. "Number 2: Reread a book." You said out loud which instantly followed by a boring from Yelena. "Number 3: Have se-" You stopped yourself from saying more. It said have sex on the quinjet. Both of the women next to you had read it though. Natasha's face was a red as her hair, she knew you had that fantasy but you guys never could made that one true since somewhat always came in between. The thought of having sex with you brought up a longing feeling inside of her chest. You guys always made love in the softest way possible which felt like you were high on clouds. "Disgusting.. and I actually thought you two did that already but anyways. Number 4: learn how to throw a knife in a cool way." Yelena tried to move on from the awkward situation that quickly turned into excitement for her. "Oh my god Y/N! I can totally teach you cool moves. I'm a master with knives." 

You nodded and smiled at Yelena. The excitement on her face was erasing away all the sad thoughts in your mind. "Number 5: go on a blind date. Nope, not gonna happen. I'm done with that shit. Number 6: ride a Zip Line, Number 7: learn how to do a backflip, Number 8: make a candle, Number 9: Take Natasha on a ferris wheel ride and kiss her on the top." The list was totally not updated, thanks to that you had to deal with the awkwardness and embarrassment. "We still could do that. I-I mean just without the kiss." Natasha suggested while having rosy cheeks. "Sorry to butt in again." Yelena started. "But y'all should do number 9 exactly like it's written out. Y/N, you know I don't like romance shit but you always told me you absolutely adore those kinda things. Fuck the past and the divorce.. You're dying so why not just do them? At least you'd get one last kiss out of it." You didn't know what to say so you just told her you'd think about it and continued with the list. Number 10 was to hug a giant sequoia tree, Number 11 visit Finland and Number 12 was to see the Eiffel Tower. Afterwards you all brainstormed for things to put on your bucket list, you even asked Alexei and Melina. He suggested to get a tattoo. You loved the idea and immediately knew what you wanted to get. A red hour glass in a circle with a black widow spider hanging down from it. You got that tattoo on your upper left arm and a tiny tattoo of Natasha's & Yelena's initials on your right wrist. Why you did Nat's initials is a mystery to you, it was such an impulsive decision that by the time you realized what you agreed to, it was already on your skin. 

One of the sisters suggested to go out and eat dinner. The restaurant choice was easy, all three of you wanted some italian pasta. While you waited for the food, plans were made for the upcoming days. The next day, the first real adventure of your bucket list was going strong. You flew to the mountainous desert of Ras Al Khaimah which is located in the United Arab Emirates. Why there? Because there was the longest zip line in the world. Yelena accompanied you on this trip, Natasha sadly had to go back to New York to figure some things out with Tony Stark. 

Three minutes. It took three minutes to race or fly down the zip line and it was full of adrenaline. The happiness and excitement you felt was like nothing else you'd ever experienced before. You even shred some tears towards the end since you won't get to experience a lot things before your death would knock on your door for your final breath. Your sister in law also had the time of her life. She wanted to go another round as badly as you wanted too. Hours flew by fast and before you knew it, both of you were back in Yelena's apartment in New York. The next morning Yelena took you to one of her favorite spots on a secret Avengers property to show off some knife skills. She taught you basic tricks before you felt more confident for harder ones. During breaks you two ran around, hugged and climbed trees before Natasha joined in the last afternoon. Her heart melted at the sight of you and her sister having fun and being so close. She adored how patient Yelena was with you when she taught you the most difficult and coolest trick she could do. You didn't notice the red head until she complimented your new skills you had just learned. You were embarrassed though since all you did in the last 10 minutes was failing what Yelena tried to teach you. "No really, you're doing amazing Y/N. I'm proud of you, both of you." The sudden need to touch her came out of nowhere but you tried hard to distance yourself emotionally from her. You still had to get in touch with yourself and the past decades you'd lived through. Your heart and mind were a chaotic mess, in some universes there was a version of Natasha and you honestly fell in love with those versions but it never worked out. Your heart was full of love for them but the heartbreak of it all was too painful to let yet another woman come close. 

"Sit." Was all Natasha said when you stumbled into Yelena's kitchen. Another new day, another new adventure. She turned back to the stove, from the smell you guessed she was cooking pancakes. You never thought of getting another pancake from her, those heavenly made pancakes were one of the highlights in your marriage. Natasha couldn't cook well but the one thing she could cook beyond fucking great were pancakes. The moment she served you pancakes with a glass of water, you swore there was someone ghost who punched you in your gut. You couldn't breath anymore, all air gone. Her eyes so soft as if she was a puppy, her skin glowing like a goddess and her wearing what seemed like one of your old t-shirts was more than you could take. "T-t-thank you." You started at her for a while longer before finally digging into your stack of pancakes. Natasha didn't say a word of your starring since she loved the attention, she tried to soak in every moment she still has left with you. "You're welcome. By the way Yelena had to go. Kate had a problem with something so you have to deal with me today, if that's alright?" You nodded. Though the divorce still left a bitter taste in your mouth, you enjoyed spending time with your ex-wife. This was nothing compared to the messy divorce in another universe you had. 

After light conversation that you had over breakfast, Natasha suggested visiting the Ferris Wheel in Chicago. You agreed and immediately went off flying in a quinjet that Natasha borrowed from the Avengers. On that two hour flight the weird sensation you felt when you came back on earth 4-1-1 made itself present again, but this time it got stronger. You feared that your time was running out faster than you had hoped. "Are you alright?" Natasha asked you with concern laced in her voice. "Yeah, just anxious I guess." It was only the half truth though, you didn't want her to know that your time was getting shorter faster. "Anxious about what could go wrong in that Ferris Wheel?" You nodded your head. "That and everything else that could go wrong." 

"Do I need to call Yelena for her to help you through it?" Natasha never knew your anxiety were this bad. While you were together it was only the start until it developed into this huge lump that followed you everywhere. "No I'm alright for now." And everything was alright until the second you both sat in the cabin of the Ferris Wheel. The pit of your stomach suddenly felt hollow. You felt how your planet sucked the energy out of you slowly. Tuuli said you had at least two weeks left but with how things were looking now, you weren't so sure of it anymore. Your surrounding became more clear again once the cabin stopped, it was almost completely on top. "Y/N, are you sure you're alright?" Her green eyes shined so bright that you desired to be drowned by them. You were so mesmerized by her that you didn't notice how close you leaned in. She closed the distance between you two with a short but very soft and passionate kiss. It was amazing, one of the best kisses you'd ever had. Natasha knew how fatal that kiss was, she couldn't let you leave alone. She was addicted to you and it was going to break her once you died. Awkwardness hung in the air after the kiss but neither of you seemed to mind it much. 

The ride seemed short. Maybe because it was short. You were battling between going for another ride or running away as fast as possible. A decision couldn't be made in time since your own time came in between it all. As you wanted to stand up you collapsed to the ground, constantly falling in and out of consciousness. When you did wake up, it was as if the gravity crushed your body. Everything hurt to the bone. Opening your eyes were the hardest part but worth it since you saw all the Avengers plus the Black Widow family. A weak smile was on your lips. "Hi."

"I thought we had more time left." Yelena said, tears streaming down her face. "Me too. But I'm grateful to have known you all. Thanks for everything." It got harder to talk, every word you said physically hurt you. Everybody saw in how much pain you were in so they all started to say their goodbye's to you. When they all left, only Yelena and Natasha were left, you knew the both of them would not leave your side until your final breath. You sighed loudly. "I didn't even get to see Finland." 

"I can't believe that you traveled and lived in multiple universes but not once have you been to Finland." It was weird but you thought there was a reason for you never being there. "I was in Norway a couple of times. I swear you and Natasha have to visit that country."

Bringing up Norway brought back memories for Natasha. She never got to tell you about her time in Norway hiding from the authorities but it made her smile. You wanted them to visit Norway kinda felt like a full circle for her. "We should! Sestra, do you still have that trailer there?" Yelena turned her attention to you. "Not sure if you know but after the civil war she decided to hide in Norway. Fucking brilliant." It was now official, every Natasha you knew had been to Norway for one or another reason. Somehow you longed for a trip with this Natasha and Yelena. Seeing dears and norther lights, eating fish and driving through the fjords. But it could not happen anymore, not even in your afterlife if that even existed. So instead of listening to them talking about planing a trip there, you imagined a life with your soulmate in Finland. You wished for a woman to be your one and only. Sexuality was not much of a thing on your home planet, you still considered yourself a lesbian. In your early days of searching, you tried dating men, it never worked out and though you never had a previous memory until recently, you only exclusively dated and married women. Now with the search being over and having every single memory, the pressure of needing to be open for anyone to be your soulmate was gone. And that pressure kept you in a box, you were free to be yourself and with that you knew for sure that you weren't attracted to men. 

You only notice that your breath became uneven when breathing suddenly became harder and exhausting. Your time was coming to an end. "E-each.. s-side. Cud-cuddling." How talking got so hard so fast was was crazy to you. Anxiety and fear was roaring through you, many possible lives flashed in front of you. Things you could have done, things you regretted, thing that made you happy.. all of them played in your head while the sister duo made themselves comfortable next to you. Once they hugged you close, there was a peaceful atmosphere around you, it brought you a calmness that you needed before passing away.

"I'm sorry." Natasha suddenly whispered in your ear softly. "I wasn't careful enough on that mission and look where it got us. I'm sorry  for how I acted before and after my injury. I should have demanded a divorce and I shouldn't have continued flirting to get things. That was literally cheating and I am so sorry for it. I didn't treat you like you deserved to be treated." Tears slowly started to stream down her face. "I'd do so many things differently if I had another chance. Just know that I don't regret the time I had with you." You tried to squeeze her hand with the little energy you had left. It took you over a minute to get out a I Love You. The words left your lips so quiet that nobody could hear it if they were pressed closely to your body. Those three little words were meant for them both. You loved them both, just in different ways. 

A comfortable warmth spread through your body seconds before you exhaled a final breath. The last thing you felt was Natasha kissing your temple. 

Tags: @iamthescarlettwitch , @dark-hunter16 , @marvel-fan-2021 , @myfturn , @natsxwife , @wandanats-goodgirl , @supaheroine , @00alycia , @xxsekhmet , @franfrolix , @lonewalker17 , @newawakening9 , @marvelwomen-simp , @automaticwizardnerd , @wifeofnatasharomanoff , @tigerlillyruiz , @lifeontop , @blackwidow-3

[nayruwu]

I wanna know the lunaify gureshin lore please

ha ha! i'm so glad you asked!

i'm not trying to say the way their relationship is in canon is bad, because kagami just had different priorities in the story. i don't think a casual reader would think anything is missing, but i spend a lot of time thinking about these characters specifically so naturally i'd want to fill in the gaps.

right off the bat i think the way shinya introduces himself to guren is kind of... odd. it's his thing to mask his feelings and intentions, so for him to immediately overshare and dump all of that onto guren first chance he gets feels rushed and, quite frankly, out of character. even if he really wanted guren as an ally, it would have made more sense to observe a whole lot more first and try to gain his trust more slowly. imagine how much more charming it would have been if guren had thought shinya to be a spoiled hiiragi brat at first, and only slowly realised that hey, he's like me. the scene where seishiro punches him in the face would have been perfect for this. or, you know those scenes where a character accidentally lets something slip or moves in a way that reveales bruises or wounds they have and then they stand there awkwardly not knowing how to react? it's cheesy but i love fondue so it's fine.

one thing that i've seen in fanfiction a couple of times is shinya being ashamed of his past in the training facility, and intentionally never mentioning it to guren (thinking he, the selfless saviour of the ichinose, would be disgusted at his selfishness). and i really like this idea! shinya having tried so hard to be guren's friend and not wanting it to be destroyed. guren finding out and being horrified, not at shinya but at the hiiragi, because what the fuck are they doing to little children? the conversation that would have to follow after. it'd be intriguing development where they'd both have to open up and be honest. but recently as i was rereading the novels i realised that guren just... already knows about the trials. i can't even remember where exactly it was mentioned, but it's there in a side sentence, casual, without a second thought. booooo. boring. huge missed opportunity.

... which also leads into the next point. because even in resurrection, even when they call each other 'best friend', guren never really thinks about shinya. and i know how this sounds - of course he thinks about him! like, literally all the time! but what guren thinks about is how he needs him, how he wants him to live, how he doesn't want to exist without him, but he never really thinks about shinya himself. normally, you'd want to know about your best friend's life, try to be there for them, worry about their wellbeing. in canon, this is never considered. shinya doesn't ask for support, guren doesn't give it. i get that this is a really complicated issue considering that before the catastrophe they're mostly not that close and guren has like a million different problems to deal with & after the catastrophe his biggest concern is keeping shinya alive, but i did come up with a solution for this (sorry i went on a tangent there again the shinsanity is getting to me). so what shinya often does is put guren's goals and wishes above is own (be that by not being able to figure out what he wants and helping guren achieve his goals instead (canon) or quite literally being in love with him but never acting on or even acknowledging it (interpretation)). shinya knows that guren has a horrible case of saviour complex, has watched him repeatedly destroy himself to try and save someone else. so it would make total sense if he, having devoted himself to supporting guren, didn't want to become the reason he gets hurt. it would make for a horribly sad situation because there is no way guren would want to accept this but it plays right into his need to keep shinya at a distance, so there's nothing he can do about it.

let them snuggle.

just a glimpse into my dark, twisted mind😈

[wowowwild]

I asked for 20 but I also want to ask about 21! I love fic recs.

21. Did you ever read fanfictions? Which one is your personal recommendation?

Sorry it took so long! It took me a while to get everything in order, but here it is.

So fun fact: Whenever I read a fic I love I book mark it with the note j'adore so I can read it again later. Some of them get this note preemptively. I also tend to go through a tag on ao3 in date posted ascending order so I start with the oldest and work my way forward so I don't potentially miss anything, but I haven't made it all the way through some tags that I would like to. If there's a fic you think I would like that's not on here, I probably just haven't gotten to it yet! (Most of the newer ones on here I found through Tumblr.)

Also! I'm pretty sure any of the ones that involve smut I have marked as such, but please check the tags on the actual fic before reading! I am not responsible for what content you choose to consume!

That being said, here is Ace's All Time Best Fic Rec List (AATBFRL for short):

Nobody Can Just Say What They Mean (Series)- The first fic is Narumitsu and the second is Klapollo and I think about them allllll the time, especially Things Are As They Are altered me on a microscopic level. Rocks are just rocks, you know? (Narumitsu, Klapollo)

undeniable you (the currents pulling me onward)- Idk what to say. Kristoph Gavin dies in prison and Klavier is suspect #1. Apollo flies back to defend him and yaoi happens. I'm a sucker for Klav getting all scrungled up.

fame vs infamy (the price of writing fanfic out of spite)- It's a crack fic. It's funny. 10/10 would recommend. (Klapollo)

The Definition Of Home- And there was only one bed?!?!?!?!?! What?!?!?!?! And there was a little angst in the bed?!?!?!?!?! Unbelievable. Actually the angst was on the couch, the bed made it better. (Klapollo)

13 Hours- This fic keeps popping up in my fever dreams. I'm not even kidding. I didn't have it bookmarked the first time around but when I found it again, I was like 'oh, I know this one! It haunts my dreams!' and immediately slapped a j'adore on it. Airport Klapollo getting together.

Dig Enough Graves- This one is still being put out, it's a Klapollo roleswap and I love it. I get so excited when I see it's updated. So many things are happening and we have clues and I'm gonna figure it out, ok? *boston accent* I'm sleuthin 'ere! (rated M for violence and sex reasons)

stop the presses (series)- V funny. Apollo works as a columnist and writes thirst essays about KlavGav and gets a date out of it. I am very impressed with the coding used to make this look the way it does.

And if my wishes could all come true- I have reread this one a couple times. I think about it a lot. It is genuinely so funny and makes me feel all sorts of things. I love pre-relationship klapollo divorce complete with alimony while they were not not dating but actually not dating, Apollo you can't just assume that.

Nothing Like This Feeling- Apollo top suregery fic with a dash of Klapollo!

Turnabout Dishwasher- For when you get the hankering for a 422.6k work of art. It's like three fics in one that happen concurrently, which doesn't sound like a description that makes sense unless you read it. There are so many characters here, and shipping is part of it but it's also a whole lot of everything else. These characters are actually living and you get to take a look see. (klapollo, blackmadhi, wrightworth, look just read the tags on the fic there's so much going on)

Such Terrible Tales- A gorgeous magic filled AU with a focus on the casts of aa5 and aa6 and fun cameos from Investigations (so far). This fic is still on going and I would def recommend reading it as it comes out! I love trying to figure out the lore and what will happen next! This fic kind of pulls me off my hinges lol. (blackmadhi)

You Wear Stripes, Too?- Apollo and Klav come out to each other as trans and nb respectively.

Things Best Shared- Klav teaches Apollo guitar.

For A Bad Time Call Simon Blackquill- Iconic blackmadhi fic. I think about it all the time. V funny fake dating au with bits of angst.

Last Resort- And they were roommates! Blackmadhi roommates with lots of healing and shenanigans.

Dating for a Turnabout- Narumitsu fake dating for a case. Larry is there doing Larry things. Franziska did it to them bc she is very smart and cool.

Vacation All I Ever Wanted- I think about this sooooooo much. Tagline: One condo. Six lawyers. Seven secret plans. What could possibly go wrong? (klapollo, narumitsu, athena blackquill and trucy are there)

Alternative Dispute Resolution- Apollo makes Klavier talk to Mr. Wright before they can start dating. It's awkward (and funny) and Trucy is a delight.

Turn(about) my words- The fic where I realized I instinctively start laughing when someone gets shot. He's fine. uhhh narumitsu, phoenix got shot of course bc why wouldn't he and found family stuff.

You're Alive (And that's the only thing that truly matters.)- Klavier gets poisoned and Edgeworth tells the nurses Apollo is his partner so he can get in to see him. Turns out I don't laugh at poisonings, only shootings.

Dog Days- Apollo and Trucy go to another Gavinners concert and Polly misinterprets everything all the time.

Reckless Endangerment- One of the funniest klapollo get togethers. Pollo insults him real good while he's standing behind him, klav thinks about going abroad to study, phoenix has prosecutor going abroad ptsd, apollo might actually be into the gavinners, or at least the titular member.

Good Advice- Klavier Gavin makes categorically bad decisions in the face of love. (klapollo)

Hot For Justice- klavgav gets a muse, guess who?

Rules for Dating a Rockstar Prosecutor- klapollo first date that literally everyone is more invested in than Apollo (until he actually goes).

The Things We Do For Gym Access- Fake dating so Apollo can use the gym at Klav's place until the one he normally goes to gets fixed. Except they're actually really into each other and it's killing me everyday it's killing me I'm dead I'm dying they're so dense and in love and can't figure out why they haven't been caught and it's bc they actually feel like that and on top of pretend dating are pretending to date each other to themselves just kiss istg. Rated Explicit for sexual reasons.

The Walk to Tomorrow- Narumitsu doing Narumitsu things.

Legal Partners- Oooooooo this one! I also think about this one a lot. Narumitsu and klapollo and everyone is idiots they're all idiots. Klav and Edgeworth make a stupid, stupid bet about who has the more meaningful connection with their preferred defense attorney. I love this type of fic.

Turnabout Rubesville- Edgeworth gets accused of murder in a small town bc he's a grump. Phoenix sorts it out.

You Ever Been In Love?- Everyone gets way too involved in making Wrightworth happen, and it goes horribly until it goes right.

Gravity- Rated Explicit for sex reasons. Tbh I really like the oc. She's real cool. def read the tags for trigger warnings. (klapollo)

The soul truth (and nothing but the truth)- Franmaya! There's some spirit medium shenanigans and Lang is a bro.

Exorcism- Klapollo AU aa4 rewrite Kitty is a doll I love her these boys are unhinged look they have a conspiracy closet ok? Rated E for sex reasons.

Play Your Cards Right- Narumitsu agree to go on a date and shake hands about it. Rated E for sex reasons.

Hostile Environments (Series)- Justquill Shenanigans

satisfaction brought him back- Justquill Simon gets turned into a cat. I love fics where someone gets turned into a cat. There aren't a lot but it is a trope I enjoy. I've def read this one a couple times.

Stripped- Klapollo impending. Apollo is also secretly a stripper. Idk if this fic will ever get finished but I liked everything in it.

Curiosity Created the Cat- Klapollo impending. Also not finished and maybe never will be and only 3 chapters but in this one Klav gets turned into a cat. I'm sorry.

if it's really me you seek- Klapollo. I'm just going to post the official summary bc I j'ador'ed it but I don't remember exactly which one this is: Or, when Apollo comes home from Khura'in only to learn that Prosecutor Gavin is avoiding him, the last thing he expected was for Gavin to offer to let Apollo stay at his house while he looks for a new apartment.

As of right now this is everything in my bookmarks that I've read, I think you can figure out my favorite ship lol.

[nanachachasposts]

Hi I just read chapter 5 and wanted to say a couple of things about it c:

1.- Is it maybe implied that Lyssie and Festus old married couple quarre could lead to something more?

2.- I kind of understand Coryo but still my heart always bleeds more for Janey and that ending was really heart-breaking to witness.

3.- The fact that your Felix has a fondness for plants is adorable.

WARNING: LONG ASS RESPONSE TO THE SECOND COMMENT I'M SORRY YA GIRL LIKES TO RAMBLE

maaaaaaybe (when she's super fucking obvious lol)

2. I'm actually super glad that you feel that way. Personally, if I were to say someone was in the wrong in that argument, I'd say it was Coryo. That being said, I think the argument itself is nuanced (even if I didn't fully expand upon that in every way it could be expanded upon). Coryo is a 'Capitol elitist prick' and simply does not give a shit about anyone in the districts, but he's also not entirely wrong for being upset with Sejanus. Like there's a good chance he's being exaggeratory in just how much it matters, but it's obvious that his reputation and social status do in fact matter. It serves as both a vehicle for which he's able to maneuver and as protection against an oppressive system that (whether he wants to acknowledge it or not) exploits and abuses him (though not as severely as it does someone in the districts). It makes sense that he'd be extremely protective over it, especially when he lacks the funds Sejanus has (especially when taking into account that this is a society in which debtors are forced into indentured servitude (i.e. peacekeepers)). Sejanus lacks any social privilege Coryo has but outnumbers him ten to one in terms of class privilege. It's why he feels comfortable acting as boldly as he does, and this reliance on that - even if it's subconscious - is what eventually spells his doom (along with his trust in and loyalty to Coryo). So yeah, I do think Coryo's position in the argument is understandable but at the end of the day, like I said before, he's a 'Capitol elitist prick' who doesn't give a shit about anyone in the districts (and in turn, he's totally unable to understand or empathize with Sejanus or his point of view). He's in the wrong because Sejanus was in the right to stand up for himself and other 'district folk', and obviously Coryo's an ass for attempting to erase Sejanus' personal identity.

3. To be completely honest I subconsciously ripped off @thief-of-eggs by making Felix into plants and only just realized that today when I was rereading their fic for like the fifth time (I love you pls don't sue me for intellectual property theft)

[morlock-holmes]

Man, this is taking me back the misty water-color memories of scams I dealt with.

Of course there's the poorly spelled fishing emails and the robocalls about a problem with my car's "warran-TEE" always with that strange emphasis on the last syllable. I was always fairly certain that my car's warran-TEE probably didn't need to be updated on the grounds that I don't own a car, so it's probably okay to go without a car warran-TEE.

These have massively fallen off, and apparently that's due to more emphasis on busting up scams on the part of the Biden administration.

In terms of in-person stuff, I answered phones at the restaurant during the day before we opened for dinner, which is when sales people cold call the restaurant, which means it's also when scammers pretending to be salesmen call the restaurant.

Here's where I wish I could remember better what the scammer actually said. It was something like "Hi this is so and so with company, we are doing a routine service call, may I speak to a manager?"

So I said, "So we buy products from you?"

"No, this is just a routine service call, so-"

"So you're looking to sell us something? I can take your info and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"No as I said this is a routine service call

"Okay, I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you're saying, what exactly is a service call?"

*sound of a scammer aggressively hanging up the phone*

I didn't even know for sure it was a scam until they unceremoniously hung up on me for asking too many questions, I just knew the manager had told me they weren't interested in picking up sales calls.

Then there was one that honestly I found kind of fun. This lady started a few conversations with me at my stand outside the restaurant, random small talk at first about stuff going on nearby, then later a little bit about success and the economy, and eventually she told me she was being mentored by a self-employed couple and if I was interested she'd lend me some of the books she was reading,

The first was the Go-Giver, a harmless business parable about, essentially, networking by being a nice person. If you get a reputation as a helpful guy who goes a little bit out of your way to help others succeed, they will then think of you when they're starting projects and go, "Hey, I want that helpful guy to be on this project" and you'll actually profit from those selfless impulses in the long run.

It's all a little bit corny and since it's a business self-help book there's a slightly unpleasant undercurrent of greed, but I've heard basically the same advice from plenty of successful freelancers it all seems innocent enough...

Or is it?! The plot of the book involves a guy who is stuck in the rat race, not getting anywhere, until a friend promises to introduce him to a mysterious business guru who helped him get ahead...

And the lady who gave me the book was being mentored by a mysterious couple who wanted to help people in the community and she could introduce me...

Lending me Robert Kiyosaki's "The Business of The 21st century" was over-egging the pudding. A confused, morally bankrupt attempt to sell people on the idea of "Network Marketing" by an unscrupulous man who admits he doesn't actually do network marketing. Rereading the bad reviews on Goodreads, I had remembered how incoherent the economic ideas in the book were, but I had forgotten the off-putting air of amoral greed Kiyosaki suffuses the book with.

Network Marketing, as you've no doubt guessed, is a euphemism for "Multi-Level Marketing" and the book is an incoherent attempt to trick people into it by playing on greed and selfishness.

Ex-President Donald Trump wrote a section. I hear he's going to drain the swamp.

I'm much more timid in real life so I think I said something like, "This just doesn't make sense to me and I'm not interested, but thanks" and that was the end of that.

That one was fun, there was an air of mystery about it, like getting inducted into a real-life Cthulhu cult.

The second and third time people tried to hit me with that pitch though, it just made me feel like I had a big sign saying "Rube" taped to my back.

To this day I wonder how bad the Go-Giver really is. Is it an innocent and harmless business parable and Amway just latched onto it and modelled their recruitment pitch after it, or is there a deeper, more sinister partnership at work?

The guy who got me was the guy selling magazine subscriptions on the sidewalk. He had a really bad family situation and he had to move away, and he'd only been in town a few weeks, didn't even have a job yet, didn't really know anybody, but he was selling these magazine subscriptions for commission while he looked for a job. I genuinely can't remember if he asked for my credit card number and I wouldn't give it out, or if he was just unambitious, but he wouldn't take no for an answer, Yeah, you have a therapist appointment to get to but you can pay cash, there's an ATM half a block away, it won't take much time.

I ended up giving him some small amount of cash ($40 I think) and my mailing address on an official looking piece of cardboard where you could check off the magazines you wanted to receive and walked away feeling pissed about being 15 minutes late to therapy, but it wasn't until I was thinking about it two years later and going, "Hey! I never go those magazines in the mail!" that I realized he was a scammer and not just an unpleasantly pushy salesman.

I don't know if I have a conclusion, really, I suppose I just find something interesting about scams. Perhaps you'll encounter something similar and be forewarned.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Too bad now you have to give recs of "hero goes down on the clueless heroine and she’s like wow thanks that was AMAZING, can women do that to men too? 🤔 " haha

I love the clueless heroine going down on the hero, she has no idea what she is doing but her eagerness makes it a 10, Best blow job of my life 🤌🏻

@hptriviachamp posts every time the latter thing happens with a very apt meme that makes me laugh every time (IT AIN'T MUCH BUT IT'S HONEST WORK)

I can't remember a lot of PARTICULAR moments, but for these moments or this vibe:

You should definitely try Elisa Braden for this vibe. Mooost of her heroines are virgins (honestly: too many of them for me lol, I do need a bit more variation) and they're often all "WHAT'S THIS BUTTON DO" about sex. Her Midnight in Scotland series is really good. I think The Taming of a Highlander is the one where the hero is like "THERE'S NO WAY IT'LL FIT. WE MUSTN'T." and she's like "la la la it grows exponentially bigger when I look at it, I suppose I shall attempt to stuff it in la di da" blase about it.

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover by Sarah MacLean, one of her best. The heroine's a scientist who initially gets the hero to teach her about sex only! Verbally! Before graduating to physically! Also! She's very "if he'd let me study his penis with a magnifying glass I would" in nature. I also really enjoy the scene where he eats her out, comes in his pants, and immediately afterward is caught when his buddy stumbles in like "hey where do we keep th--OH. SORRY."

The Duke Gets Desperate by Diana Quincy doesn't have this scene/a totally clueless heroine, but it does have a scene where the hero is like "my dick is trying to make friends with your pussy" so there's that.

And in the same sense, because I fucking know these authors are friends and there's no way this was a total coincidence... Frankie in Mila Finelli's Mafia Mistress & Mafia Darling is NOT a virgin by any means. But when she and Fausto make it official, they do immediately roleplay him deflowering her as if she has literally never seen a dick in her life and it's HILARIOUS. Like these are DEEPLY COMMITTED people going "oh no! what's that????" "it's my dick! it's trying to say hello!" and I. Die. Not only because it's very funny, but because it actually makes their relationship more authentic to me. That's the kind of shit you only do with someone you deeply trust lmao.

Grace Callaway is gonna give you this vibe. Not all of her heroines are virgins, but the ones who are... often are precocious... and will like stuff their mouths with the hero's dick like they're doing the chubby bunny challenge.... The Duke Who Knew Too Much comes to mind because he's like "NO WAIT STOP THERE'S CRIME AFOOT" but she's already going for it.

Speaking of, Elizabeth Hoyt's Duke of Pleasure always deserves cred for the singular moment in which the hero and (virgin, grew up as a street rat dressed as a boy) heroine are investigating crime and some evildoers come upon them and he's like "quick just pretend you're blowing me" and she does start like, a mild actual beej while he's telling the guys "PLEASE LEAVE I'M GETTING BLOWN BY MY DOXY~" but after the guys leave he's all "so you can stop" and she's like "no no no I'm going somewhere with this". This one is special to me because he makes her spit into his fancy handkerchief after and I promise that even if he didn't know it that's when he decided to marry that girl.

I would say How to Marry a Marquess is one you should check out--by Stacy Reid. It's a classic "brother's best friend teaches me how to be sexy and then things get Really Outta Hand" book. I also really liked this one scene in it when his whole "let me teach you what dudes are into" thing leads to him like, eating her out in a moving carriage and when the carriage stops he does an entire "EGADS" jump off of her.

I need to reread The Lady Gets Lucky, but that's a rake meets virgin sex lessons book, and I have to think based off the scene I remember where he's like 30 seconds away from coming just from watching her lick her lips, there's a lot happening.

[skyfallscotland]

I would love to hear more about your writing style and how you plan the over arching storyline. You’ve mentioned that you don’t write linearly, so how do you keep everything straight?

Do you have a cohesive idea of the big picture, or is it more of a bunch of scenes bouncing around that you need to find a way to weave together? How do you know what is chapter 18 versus chapter 10 versus chapter 4? I’ve also seen you mention that Remi is high functioning autistic, and you’ve tagged a few things as nuro spicy. I gather that a lot of your writing is deeply reflective of your own lived experiences and now I’m wondering how Remi’s going to manage relearning history if her author likes to jump around this much!

in any case, thank you again for blessing us with this work - I’m going on vacation next week and am very excited to do my first reread!

So basically I'll have an overarching idea and some scenes in my head already and then everything else will just happen as I go.

So for T&T I know

what I want to do with the Varrish situation

what I want to do at Tecarus' place

what I want to do with Melgren/Samara/the final battle

and how I want their relationship to go

how it's going to end

So there's a few pivotal scenes in my head already and then there's things like

how Papa Sorrengail died

how Lilith really feels about Remi

how Violet will react to her sister this time around

how Remi will react to RSC

and I basically just try and weave them all together as I go. I keep notes in my phone in a linear-fashion and if I think of something I'll slot it into the 'timeline' but in saying I write non-linearly, it's more like...I get demand avoidance, right? So if I'm up to RSC but my brain just doesn't want to initiate, instead of screeching to a halt, I'll write for example a scene regarding Papa Sorrengail's death, put it to the side and come back to it later and fit it in somewhere.

So when I say 10 vs 18 vs 4, it's like, I've actually written up to 18, I have 18 chapters, but my brain might later go oh wait, you want this in here, and then I have to go back and change things or weave things in, so while I have 18 chapters, 4 could then become 5 and push each one along so I have 19. I hope that makes sense?

I tend to write more of a character/emotion driven story so that definitely helps because I'm really just weaving a little plot around all the feels.

Remi is very, very deeply reflective of me and my lived experiences, more than any other FMC I've ever written. I think every writer puts pieces of themselves in their work, but Remi in particular I put so much of my soul into. Fear & Flame was a very cathartic experience, I wrote it for me and I was honestly surprised so many people liked it. I almost didn't post it at all.

I've always felt like Remi. It was only once I learned that I could be on the spectrum that I started figuring out why I am the way I am and do the things I do, and also, really, why most people don't like me. And that's not like, me feeling sorry for myself, it's just a fact, most people don't. It's why it feels kind of special whenever someone tells me they see themselves in her.

Because Remi is so logical, she's just pushing everything to the side and going 'ok, this is what I know is true because I've seen it with my own eyes' and working from there. Honestly in T&T part one, she's a little too busy to even think about it, but she's definitely asking questions. I think it's this, that separates her so much from Violet. She won't let things go and she will ask whatever questions pop into her head a lot of the time (which is tough because we don't have too much history/lore to work with).

Honoured to be your vacation reading! Haha, I hope you have a nice time! 🖤

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

What were your thoughts on how the Saitns were revealed to be real in the Nikolai series? Considering that, before then, the powers of grisha were called "small science", the supernatural seemed odd to me.

Hi, thanks for you question!

This is definitely an interesting one, I'm afraid I don't have the King of Scars duology on audiobook so it's a while since I read them (I usually do my rereads with audio rather than physical) however I do remember thinking about this at the time. I think that a big aspect of this is that Grisha found the need to rationalise and try to explain their power to otkazats'ya people to reduce persecution; look at the difference between Fjerda, where Grisha power is seen as demonic magic, and Ravka, where it's seen as a form progression. Our easy go-to inbetween is Kerch, a country caught between a strong cultural superstition and a very desperate desire to remain at the forefront of global development and cement its position in the global economy (I have lots of worldbuilding thoughts here but that's probably for another time); here, grisha power is not seen as magic or as evil, and they look on Fjerda as backwards for this view, but it isn't seen as something progressive either - it's seen as an exploitable resource, at the price of those how carry it. If this is the situation of the three most powerful countries in the world when Grisha power has been rationalised and presented in terms that otkazats'ya should be able to comprehend and accept, then Grisha would be even worse off in a world where there was no understanding whatsoever of their ability as anything other than magic.

I hope I'm making sense. I'm trying to say that ideally Grisha power would never have been labelled as 'small science', but embraced instead as what it was in ancient times. This concept didn't come from nowhere; early Grisha are rarely specified in orders and are described with many different capabilities (such as the Saints when Nina says some people in Ravka have stopped thinking of them as miracle workers and started thinking of them as acts of Grisha), and some characters (such as Jesper's mother Aditi) never have their order revealed to us. Although in Aditi's case we can assume she was an Alkemi from the descriptions of her power, she also makes "bread rise just by looking at it" which doesn't necessarily fit any order's typical description and only ever called herself "zowa". If it weren't for the need to define power as something scientific and palpable instead of an almost ineffable force is the only reason that Grisha power was ever called "the small science" instead of magic. If it were magic and Grisha weren't capable of channelling the kind of power that the Saints had or that Zoya learns, then they would be even weaker than they already are; because of the state of their world, it's only safe to have 'magic' when you can use it to protect yourself.

I hope this made sense, thanks for your question and sorry it took so long to answer it. A note for everyone else with asks in my inbox right now, I promise I am slowly working through them and please don't hesitate to end me more I love getting them

[cupcraft]

Auditory processing problems are hard esp when you don't know until a whole lot later in life like you know it's like

You spend your whole life asking people to repeat themselves a ton of times until you Learn that's Rude you know so you ask maybe 2 to 3 times and then you Pretend you understood them because it's You right, it's totally You and not Something Else, and you hope you're not quizzed on it later. Because sure at a restauraunt you answer yes and your sandwich has a topping you wouldn't think to ask for not really a bad consequence (foodie anyway) but then your friends like oh so [insert topic] and you're like omg what and they're like ugh I told you last week how could you forget? And you could say hey I didn't really understand what you said ("wow you never listen") and or you could say sorry I forgot (but then once it's a pattern then it'll be "you never care to remember"). And you learn to mask. Teacher says directions verbally and doesn't write it down you joke and loudly say "I have literally no clue what we're supposed to be doing LMAO" and your friends laugh tell you and you figure out what you're supposed to do (or you just stay quiet and figure it out. Or you context clues it and think of a question to ask the teacher so you can gain more clues). And you learn to mask and people sort of think you're an airheaded kind of person for most of your growing up life. Though your parents are confused why you can't understand or watch a show when they talk loudly along with it when there's no subtitles and so you have to keep pausing and unpausing until only one conversation is happening.

But it still catches up with you because why can't you just listen, why do you forget stuff, why do things make no sense to you. And you can't keep saying sorry. And you feel like they're right it is you and you begin to focus all your emotional energy on Listening and Remembering and Processing even if you can't do other tasks (bc multitasking destroys the ability to Listen) because of it so people don't get mad at you. Because they're right, right? You just dont care about people and don't wanna listen. And it's not a constant struggle in every situation

And then you're 21 and your new therapist is like hey you may have autism and that just sounds like auditory processing problems. Like so it wasn't You. You did care about people and what they had to say. And you did want to listen. You just, had difficulties and barriers to always understanding what people say. And it's hard to believe after all that, because sometimes you doubt yourself and it's like "huh maybe I'm secretly making it all up as an excuse to not listen to ppl and be horrible" (and that's never been true).

But it's still hard, even when you are comfortable telling people about it when they get to know you. Because they still don't get it all the time. People still get annoyed repeating themselves occasionally, and people are upset you forget information not fully processed or forgotten for another reason. Sometimes you have professors and teachers that think you're not paying attention by taking notes on what they say so you can reread later. But it's easier knowing now. It's easier.

[rozaceous]

I love your writing so much! Do you have any inspirations or fic recs?

that's so kind of you to say, thank you! ❤︎₊ ⊹

as for fic recs, really just comb through my bookmarks and see what piques your interest. i tend to only bookmark stuff if i know i'll want to reread it later or if there was a part that really stuck in my brain somehow. otherwise i kinda hesitate to rec fics? everyone likes what they like and idk what that is, and it's so personal, and sometimes you have to be in the mood for something, that a universal rec is so hard! ahhhh i'm sorry this is so wishy-washy.

wrt to naruto fic inspo, i feel like i read every si/oc fic out there up to 2020. (probably not true given the immensity of the nrt fandom, but you get the idea.) what an incredible, amazing, creative genre of fic. i say the following with nothing but love and sincere respect: some of the si fics out there are a lot more immature than others, or didn't hold up to the initial draw when i reread them, but 1) if it's not my thing i can just leave and 2) there's so much charm in everyone's vision! power fantasy or trope deconstruction or world-building interrogation--i love it!

i've mentioned this in the comments (and maybe on here?) at various points, but i'll say it again: tcba is at least as much a love letter to naruto si/oc fic as it is a naruto fanfiction. sure, it's my take on the concept, but it's a fic that probably doesn't make sense unless you're already at least a little bit into naruto si conventions. (the chuunin exams being the least of the fic hurdles lmao) and that's basically to say, tcba couldn't exist w/o all those other fics and authors.

[cloud-somersault]

Dude I'm just gonna say this, "the constellations within us" literally changed my life. My sincerest apologies for the rant but I can't stress enough how much constellations changed me and my writing, and sorry if this barely makes sense, english isn't my first language(sorry!) and after rereading "axis" i'm too excited to think properly.

Before I read constellations (or any of your works) I was too scared to post any of my fics because I was super insecure about my writing, but It wasn't until I read constellations when I finally found the courage to post my stuff rather than have it rot in my docs, and I can't thank you enough for helping me find the courage to show off my writing, no matter how insecure I was about it at the time. Constellations gave me a push in the right directions, if it wasn't for your writing, I still would've been too scared to write, and I wouldn't have improved at all.

before I knew of your works I didn't really have direction with my writing (if that makes any sense?), I didn't know what I wanted people to feel in my writing, I just kinda wrote in a really bland way and I honestly hated my style because it just wasn't hitting correctly, but when I did get around to reading your stuff it just kinda snapped in my brain, your writing set off a switch in my head and I realized at that moment 'oh my great sage, this is literally peak', I wanted my writing to deliver the same amount of emotion that yours does, like I wanted to FEEL my writing like I do yours.

in that one chapter of "the constellations across our bodies" where Mk attempts to confront Macaque (I, for the LIFE of me can't remember which chapter it was) I was at the end of my seat, (literally, I almost fell off) I can't express in words the dreadful feeling in my gut I felt, and I can keep going on and on about how your fics heavily influenced some of my hcs and the portrayal of Shadowpeach in my works.

I've found myself studying your works on more than one occasion, and after realizing what made your writing so gosh darn good and applying to my writing, I've realized how much my writing has improved; I don't think I've ever felt happier with my writing, and I can't thank you enough, really, thank you so much for being such a good writer.

ALL of your fics make me kick my feet in the air and giggle like a little girl.

I consider you to be one of my favorite writers like ever, but at the same time, I'm just wondering what in the world possessed you to write such a genuinely POWERFUL fic? Constellations is one of the BIGGEST inspirations for any of my works, and I fully blame this fic for the nearly 80k words worth of unpublished Shadowpeach fics I've written at like 11 pm hidden deep in my Google docs. If it wasn't obvious enough, I am in LOVE with your writing style, every time I am blessed by your writing appearing on my Ao3 I will inevitably end up writing at LEAST 20k more words on what ever fic i'm working on.

And again, thank you so, so for being such an amazing writer and for being one of the most influential people in my writing journey, I am forever grateful for the pure, unbridled talent that I, and several others, have had the chance to witness, keep up the good work, and I pray the Ao3 author's curse doesn't reach you anytime soon!

stay safe, and hope you have an amazing day/night!!

✨

WOW what a sweet ask!! 🥺💖😭💖🥺💖 I am literally in shock, thanks so much for typing this out and sending it!!!

I am beyond happy that something that I wrote inspired you enough to share your work with others. Sometimes, all it takes is one last little push for us to take the plunge and start our writing journey into the world. I'm so happy you gained that confidence from reading my fic. I don't think there's a higher honor for a fic author, so thank you for telling me!!

I absolutely know what you mean when you say you weren't sure what you wanted to convey in your writing. I've been doing this a long time, so I know most of the writer hurdles and bumps. And I remember posting my first story and how I was unsure of what story I wanted to tell and what I wanted people to feel. It's difficult to decide on a tone for a piece of fiction, but more than that, it's deciding what story you want to tell and share.

If nothing else, remember that when you write, you're putting yourself on that page, a piece of yourself. When you post it for others to read, you're sharing a part of yourself. That's why it can be difficult to take critique. This...self-expression through literature is a state of vulnerability. But good things come from that, too, and it can be a lot of fun thinking about what part of yourself you want to share with others.

When I wrote Constellations, I wanted to share many things. I wanted to tell many stories. But, I think, more than anything, I wanted to emphasize the importance of the connections people have with others. It's something I have to remind myself often. I didn't value and treasure the connections I had before...now that I've grown and matured, I'm reevaluating the connections that I want to protect and nurture versus the ones that are harmful to me.

I wanted constellations to be a reminder of that. that...there are some connections that are worth fighting for and protecting, and worth putting that extra effort into.

But, I think more than that, I just wanted to write shadowpeach in my style. Never underestimate the power and motivation or spite and wanting so badly to see a couple portrayed in a way that you're not seeing 😭

This ask is so sweet, and there's so much I could say, but I want you! to know this. When I was starting out, I was unsure but I was also having fun! Writing should be fun first of all, and I'm still having fun. Never forget; this is a hobby, and it should be fun for you. It should give you energy or uplift you.

As you continue to write and read and develop your own style, let yourself be influenced by other pieces of media. The more you write, the more you'll develop a style that's uniquely yours. And once you've done that? Well, there's nothing you can't do.

Thank you for reading my works and finding joy in them! That's super important to me. This ask made me remember...I wouldn't have started writing if it weren't for fanfic writers posting their fic and sharing it. They inspired me to write. They gave me courage. To know that I've done that for you? Is like. Phenomenal. I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've come full circle. I guess my character arc is finished.

Thank you so much again! And good luck on your writing journey, and don't lose heart! At the end of the day, always remember: only you can write the stories in your head. No one else can do it with the same glamor, pizzazz, passion, intent, and love that you can.

I'll see you on ao3, friend! 💕