#i didnt even knew there was one for 'that' animal

[lovesickeros]

☆ de fontaine

{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k

This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!

She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.

She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.

Furina is tired.

But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?

So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.

Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.

Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.

An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.

She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.

She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.

She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.

And Furina has always been good at lying.

It's the believing that's the hard part.

There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?

Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.

She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?

She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.

Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?

Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.

Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?

They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?

"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"

Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.

Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.

Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.

Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.

"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.

But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.

They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.

She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.

If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..

Furina will make sure they do.

[jessiesjaded]

I really, really wish people who don't have the capacity to properly take care of animals would simply accept and acknowledge that about themselves. This isn't even a post of me trying to be mean or judge anyone, I'm sure most people go into getting an animal with good intentions, but intentions and actions are different. If you don't have the time and the space and the care an animal needs, the animal will suffer. The fleeting joy of having a kitten or puppy or anything else doesn't last forever and they aren't toys to be put down and forgotten once you've moved past the inital excitement. If you don't have the ability to properly care for an animal, just accept that and simply admire them from a distance.

[bluebellhairpin]

KYOYA OOTORI THE MAN THAT YOU ARE.

[ajdrawshq]

oct2path has become real.........

[coffincoitus]

I can't tell if it's remarkable or uneventful that I built my own gaming pc in one sitting with no previous experience BUT it's still a continous source of joy hdhhd every time I use it I'm like :) I made this :)

[cosmicrhetoric]

i remember watching the scene where yamato transposes ace's memories of luffy with what oden had written about roger like years ago in someone's fave animation moments ever compilation and this was so long before i had any inclination of watching one piece that i didnt recognize any of the characters so i was just like. oh well it's really pretty it's really well animated but i can't really get it 😂 WELL I GET IT NOW. I GET IT.

[bunnyb34r]

Gonna go get a UTI sitting in the movies for 3 hours 🥰 #TreatYourselfTuesday

[orcelito]

Bought the memorial plush for Cassy. It's gonna be here on Thursday

It looks pretty similar to Sammy's in style, just with a different pose. I'll see how they look when placed together.

[kaibump]

I dunno man between all these 'have you watched' 'have you read' 'do you know this character' type of poll accounts it really seems like people under a certain age bracket straight up barely consume a lot of media or bother to watch anything older than current seasonal fodder and it's kind of sad tbh

[pyrriax]

hey guys im back at it again with the horrible levels of s4 zam brainrot. um.

did i manage to somehow make this song about him in my head? yes! yes i did. and i cannot be normal about it.

[gibbearish]

u ever have to back out of a drama explained video bc ur like. i agree that that person was in the wrong but the way youre presenting them is just unsettling

[cosmic-cd]

.

[corvidcall]

Did you ever tell the story of why ******* kicked you out because she forgot to pick you up from work on here? I remember it happening in real time and it was not funny but in retrospect, it's 200 upvotes on reddit material lol

LMAO its so funny you censored her name. like shes gonna be here or something. cant let her know i still think shes a bitch!!!!!

anyway heres fun little anecdote about that time i was forced to move out, in the style of an aita post, fake names and all

AITA for being mad at my roommate for not driving my somewhere?

I (22nb) live with two roommates, Makenzie (22f) and Justin (19 trans m). We all met because we worked at the same place, and we've been living together for almost a year. Of the three of us, I'm the only one who has lived with roommates before, but I can't tell if I'm being TA here?

Makenzie is the only one of us who can drive, and she agreed when we moved in together that, if we gave her some money to buy her mom's car, then she would drive us places whenever she was able. I work a little over a mile away from our apartment, so I CAN walk, but since I get off work at around 9pm, and the sidewalks aren't really well-maintained (it's a really industrial part of town, so it's not GREAT for walking), she agreed that she would pick me up after work every day.

Last week, I got off work, and waited for her to show up, and she never came. I texted her a few times, and when she didn't respond after I'd been waiting for almost an hour, I texted that I would be walking home. Apparently, she'd fallen asleep, and midway through my walk home, she woke up, got in her car, and tried to come find me to drive me home. She couldn't find me (the sidewalk is really hard to see from the road, and it's extremely dark, so I'm not surprised), and then frantically tried to get a hold of me to make sure I wasn't dead. I didn't see her texts because I was 1. walking and 2. on the phone with my partner. When I got home, she was pissed that I made her worry. She thinks I did it on purpose to get revenge? I told her I was just busy, and she seemed to accept that, but today she and our other roommate sat me down and told me that I needed to find a new place to live, because "this wasn't working out."

According to her, I'm not entitled to a ride anywhere, so I had no right to be mad at her for not giving me a ride, and I certainly didn't have a right to make her think I was dead (I literally told her I was walking home??). She also brought up that I never do my chores on the chore wheel (she made the chore wheel without asking. She just announced that she'd made a chore wheel and I had to clean the living room, which I'm almost never in anyway) and that I owe her $200 (from when we adopted our cat, which I think is weird to bring up when you're trying to kick me out?? it's not like I'm gonna get to keep the cat). She's saying I'm entitled and inconsiderate, but I feel like she's punishing me for the fact that she flaked. AITA?

Edit: If it helps, she's flaked on rides before. A few months ago, she agreed to take me to the doctor, and then the day before my appointment, she told me she couldn't give me a ride. The reason she flaked was because she wanted to go to the weed dispensary instead :/ she said it was fine, because "your mom will just get you an uber anyway". My mom agreed to pay all my necessary expenses while I'm in school (I'm a full time student; she pays my rent and I use the money from my part time job to pay for my food) but she's not like. Rich. I don't feel good about just spending her money on stuff I don't have to.

UPDATE: Makenzie made a post on Facebook about how "it's so sad when someone would rather lose a friendship than admit they were wrong." I shouldn't have commented, but I did, asking her if she forgot we were facebook friends, and then I blocked her. In retrospect, I should have just blocked her without commenting, but I'm only human.

UPDATE 2: Well, I'm moving out. Justin started harassing me, accusing me of stealing his shampoo and letting the cat loose on purpose, neither of which I did. I have my own nicer shampoo, and I love cats (I just was asleep when he told me the cat was missing, because it was midnight and I wake up at 6 am to go to school. I guess the fact that I didn't immediately leap to my feet to find our cat means I wanted him dead???) Makenzie is refusing to give back my deposit, because she says she needs to have the carpets in my room professionally cleaned before a new roommate can move in. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. But I guess I'm willing to pay a couple hundred dollars to not deal with this anymore. Still, sucks. :/

[mondfahrt]

thanks @auxiliarydetective i am now looking up ALL the classic german anime intros. ALL of them are bangers. i now ALL of them by heart.

[nomairuins]

ill be like I can totally make a lighthearted post mentioning a kink i have and i wont even freak abt it. and then i freak abt it

[poppyseed799]

I have this problem that’s like the opposite of nostalgia or something where some things I remember liking a lot as a child I look back and only remember the bad times.

This is specifically about Animal Crossing, loved that game as a kid, but I have literally no idea why, cuz it was just pure hell for me from what I can remember.