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#i didnt see them often anyways and the one is basically still a teenager who drove me nuts 95% of the time
our-lady-of-mcr · 2 months
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#anyways im still mad today but its not lingering in my head like it was yesterday#thank fucking god for that lmfao#the more i think about it the more i realize that theres really no reason to be that upset bc yeah it sucks to lose#someone so close to me like that but......she was not afraid to give me red flags even when we were in a good place#and tbh this felt like a huge neon sign screaming get out while you can#and if the other girls we were friends with want nothing to do with me after this i honestly really do not care#i didnt see them often anyways and the one is basically still a teenager who drove me nuts 95% of the time#and the other 2 dont get into drama at all so i doubt they feel any type of way about me considering neither of them are that kind of person#im more annoyed that she did this right before we had plans for one of the girls birthdays and i have a feeling thats not happening anymore#i keep wanting to ask if were still doing anything but i would actually rather die than see b so..........no thank you#even if they do say anything ive already made other plans for tomorrow so......oh well#i feel so much less insane when everyone says i didnt do anything and its scaring me that i keep thinking back to the time era she accused#me of saying shit during and im like ???? i dont remember saying that. did i say that?? did i say you shouldnt have had your kid and i just#dont remember??? did i say we hang out to escape him and i just dont remember???? and all i can think of is false memories and a situation#where someone else said those things to me in that same time period. anyways i dont know why anyone would remember that specific of wording#if it wasnt to just be used as ammo later. but i genuinely dont remember saying any of that shit esp not that recently?????#and b is ungodly great at gaslighting and she also takes shit at face value and doesnt seek further info if shes not doing okay#so im just.....yeah im taking this as my sign#and to eliza from february.....bitch did i say any of that because i do not fucking remember it#self
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cleromancy · 7 months
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What is your opinion on KonTim? I noticed you posting a lot of Kontim lately and I was wondering if you are beginning to like it? Also, since I know you stated you didn't like Kon in the past, are you beginning to change your mind about him?
to be honest my opinions from 12-13 years ago when i was a very angry very opinionated teenager often dont reflect my current opinions. i just want to establish that now.
but for the record my dislike of kon was more of a reflex to the way fandom at the time made him this very flat "aw shucks" kind of cardboard cutout. i only started disliking him when i tried reading more of his comics where he tended to be y'know. more nuanced, he'd be a jerk sometimes, inconsiderate and thoughtless, etc, and then turning around and going on tumblr where the way people talked about him didnt reflect that at all, that was really offputting for me. because i do--and did--love characters who are assholes, but not if thats not... like... acknowledged. and fandom was *aggressively* not acknowledging it, from my perspective. anyway i think when i get around to rereading yj98 ill like him more this time. particularly because i *am* so much older now and will be reading from more of a place of "yeah of course hes a shithead sometimes, hes 16 years old (for a given value of 16 years old)."
as for timkon i wouldn't say i "ship" it. and i would also like to contest the assertion that ive been posting "a lot" of it lately LMAO i think ive posted it like two times in as many weeks, and then maybe 2 more times i rbed smth where they were in the same nonshippy frame or textpost?
but back to the ship itself. to begin with they *are* very good friends whose relationship is important to them both, that changed them both, and that has an impact on characterization. and i dont... think you can read a lot of those old tim comics, if you read him as queer at all, without acknowledging that there was at at least one point something btwn them.
but as far as shipping it goes. first of all i still think most of fandom does it wrong. (if im being serious, theres no "wrong" way to do fandom, but that's also the most succinct way i can put it that i don't vibe with the majority of the stuff thats out there.) second of all i don't... like i dont *want* them to get together, exactly, unless a given writer is doing a really good job at the yarn theyre spinning convincing me otherwise, within the boundaries of that story.
but there *is* something btwn them, romantically speaking, and it has a lot of interesting character/relationship potential to explore for both of them. i am at the moment almost entirely uninterested in exploring it from kons side, which is another reason i dont really ship it, but that might change when i get around to rereading yj98. but i really don't think you can get a full picture of new earth tim drake as a character without admitting he at least had a thing for kon when kon was dead, any other point in time being much more up for interpretation.
so basically! 1. its interesting when its allowed to be interesting and not flattened into featureless fluff 2. i dont ship it AS SUCH but it absolutely was a thing that happened even if they never date or dated, and 3. as for kon himself i think ill be a lot more forgiving now both bc i Am older and bc no one in my fannish circle these days is annoying about him where i see it LMAO
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my-lunaberg · 1 year
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Okay, Im pretty sure Ive reached the point at which I originally stopped watching so. yay
To celebrate this occasion I thought I should talk a little about some of the complaints Ive seen about the finale in my for you tab because yeah, I just cant resist looking at it so Ive been spoiled pretty severely and also been dealt a good amount of psychic damage. But hey, its about the journey, not the destination and Im already in Advanced Therapy for my mental illnesses anyway
The two most complaints Ive seen are, it wasnt cathartic and it sends a terrible message. Now, I cant comment on the catharsis bc I havent watched it yet and also Im not even sure if that would be a deal breaker for me. Like, anti-climaxes can be very powerful, Schlatts death is one of my favorite moments in the entire dsmp düfor that exact reason. But that all depends on the execution so I'll save my more detailed thoughts for after Ive actually watched it
The complaint that I wanted to talk about in more detail now is the one about it 'sending a terrible message'
I spend a lot of time watching and analyzing kids shows specifically on the basis of "is this a good show for kids?" Like, kids will watch anything you put in front of them bc they dont know any better so I think its important to put something in front of them that encourages creativity, critical thinking and sends messages of compassion good and other things I cant think of off the top of my head. When analyzing kids shows like this its very important to keep that target demographic in mind because what kids like and need is often different from what teens and adults would consider well-written and thats fine. Theres plenty of kids media that can be enjoyed by teens and adults as well, but its perfectly fine for kids media to only cater to kids and even be actively boring for older demographics.
Keeping the fact that kids media should be analyzed differently than more mature media because its written differently, I dont think it controversial of me to say that, unlike kids media, media for teens and adults doesnt need to teach anything. The way I see it, kids media has messages while adult media has themes. Obviously theres a bit more nuance to this, but Im not trying to write an essay here, Im trying to complain about fandom shit
And I know this might be a hard pill to swallow for some people bc this is the internet where 7 year olds and 17 year olds are basically the same because theyre both "minors" with absolutely no nuance, but teenagers arent children and theyre not so impressionable that seeing a character in a minecraft roleplay be sympathetic towards their abuser is gonna suddenly make them forgive their own abusers if they didnt want to do that before or make them blind or to IRL abuser or whatever man, I dont even really know what exactly the concern is. Like, idk how to tell you this but the line between fiction and reality is not that thin and if the media someone consumes affects them that much theyre either very young or there are some underlining issues that storytellers are not obligated to account for.
Not to mention that dsmp is a story told from a bunch of different perspectives by a bunch of unreliable narrators who are all varying levels of shitty. Like, in kids shows the protagonists and the non-anatgonist supporting characters are role models and vehicles to teach messages, that doesnt fucking apply here, theyve literally made jokes about everyone being an unreliable narrator i dont know why anyone would think this is the kind of series where theyre actively trying to impart some kind of lesson, its literally Fucked Up Shit Happens feat, Fucked Up People: The Minecraft Roleplay
To end this weird long rant, Id like to say that I do understand why people would be upset with the ending (from the details I was able to gleam anyway) and as much as I think complaining about the 'bad message' is invalid and frankly kindof weird, being upset is still totally fine and valid.
Also, if you'd like to discuss this with me I'd appreciate it if you didnt spoil me any further. Like yeah, I already know the broad strokes but I'd still like to have a semi-'organic' experience watching this yknow
Anyway, have a nice day
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laimar · 2 years
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Elaborate more on that Kakyoin Polnareff Jotaro dynamic? Esp Polnareff and Kakyoin. I love seeing a teenager bully an adult man
hi im so sorry this took like 2 business days i kept forgetting i got asks. i have dementia (editing to add . im sorry this kind of became a kakyoin analysis and thats really funny because hes actually my least fave in canon :') )
(another editing to add. this aint even a kakyoin analysis this is a life analysis . of everyone . holy shit. oh my god)
looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnngg post below ;vv
anyway this is quite literally one of my favorite dynamics in jojo so far (these 3 but namely kakyoin and polnareff). i'm not a kakyoin or a jotaro expert but i like to think i am well versed in polnareffisms.
so as we know kakyoin never really socialized much growing up due to being a little freak weirdo who has a green monster. no hate 2 kakyoin but basically this means, in my opinion, he never developed a "real" personality because he had no one to reflect off of as a child and develop himself. and since we know that video games are one of his hobbies (and hes spent many hours playing that one particular racing game), i feel like he based some aspects of his personality on video game characters so often the shit he will say or do comes off as really uncanny and seems like something No Person In Real Life Would Ever Say Or Do
as a result he doesnt know how to talk to people or what's correct in social situations, ie when to be nice or when sarcasm is appropriate, or when to cry and feel sad etc. dont get me wrong, he understands sarcasm perfectly fine; in fact he got to fine-tune his sarcasm and rebuttal skills thanks to being one of dio's minions and living in that mansion where you have to be sharp as fuck or else the meanies are gonna tear you to shreds and not give a shit. another side effect of being a minion of dio, kakyoin also kind of became mean as hell. thats what happens when ur evil and also surrounded by mean evil people. once again, since he had no influences really growing up, he saw these people and became a social sponge and absorbed the way they talked to each other.
in short what im trying to say is, the little green booger is mean, awkward, Very strange, and still fumbling his way around relationships with other human people.
polnareff, on the VERY opposite end of this spectrum, grew up well socialized and very extraverted. he treats basically everyone like his friend as long as you dont insult him or hurt his feelings (which is amazingly easy to do) and in that case he'll either fight you or cry. it depends. or maybe both!
hes very in touch with his emotions and not afraid to express them; as a result whenever he Does experience a feeling he displays it Loudly and Dramatically. probably also because hes french.
as well as emotionally loud hes vocally loud. hes got a big mouth and a big voice and a big chest for it to resonate and echo around in. this was also very helpful for the environment he grew up in.
i personally headcanon that he grew up on a farm in rural france as sherry's sole guardian. they weren't in the meat business but rather animal products and crops. so think goats, cows, sheep, chickens- except they really didnt have all that much, because they grew up fairly poor. maybe 3 chickens and a rooster and like 2 sows (the pigs were used for truffle hunting if yall were wondering).
anyway this isnt a backstory post (but i can make one if wanted) so ill continue on with the social aspects.
another headcanon of mine is that jean's parents died when he was fairly young, somewhere between 12 and 14. so he had to take on the responsibility of a farm as well as raising sherry pretty early. subsequently, alongside being silly and flamboyant and easygoing, jean is always looking out for his friends and taking liabilities and feels responsible for nearly everything that happens. its why he was so hard on himself when something would go wrong during the trip to cairo; hes so used to being the caretaker, the one whose shoulders everything rests on, that when a disaster happens he gets in his own head about how he could have prevented it and its his fault for not doing so. (he took the deaths really hard.)
relating back to how emotional jean can be, hes also kind of like a Feelings Sonar. basically an empath supreme. he feels and reflects the energy of the people around him tenfold, which really sucks for him because the people hes around dont know how to be anything other than stressed out.
to kind of alleviate this he takes it upon himself to lighten the mood - nothing makes him feel better than making other people happy. so maybe he plays things up a little, acts a tiny more dramatic, gestures a little more, says off-color things at the wrong times. his antics almost never fail to at least get a grin, or even an eyeroll or a groan - hes content with that too.
he has a problem with boundaries though (both physical and emotional) so sometimes he pokes and prods too much, too far, anything to get a reaction; when someone snaps at him (usually nori) hes quick to escalate and take things to the extreme. (yea he experiences a wide range of emotions but no one ever said he could Control them or is even mature enough to try) its not uncommon to find nori and pol arguing with each other about something that started off as a joke, or even physically fighting (it usually doesnt get too bad, mostly shoves or 'roughhousing' but nori almost always wins because of hierophant) but sometimes if hes feeling silly or pathetic he'll hit nori w/ this face
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and that usually (USUALLY) de-escalates the situation and they go back to being literal worsties.
also, honestly i think jotaro just doesnt care anymore. he finds pretty much everything annoying, those two especially. he doesnt quite get how or why theyre friends, or if they seem to hate each other so much, why do they still talk to each other.
speaking of jotaro. our very own mr kujo is somewhere in the middle between the two, emotions-wise. he often seems to be neutral to everything (on a good day), maybe even leaning towards annoyed or kinda pissed. something he would rather die before admitting though is that he actually does feel things, and hes not an apathetic monster of teenage hormones with the most serious resting bitch face since dio died.
usually his emotions are quite muted, even when he doesn't express them. physically, he might grunt, or his lips will twitch a millimeter, or he'll huff and sigh, or do that 'tch' thing or go yare yare and cross his arms. sometimes his face betrays him and thats what his trusty hat is for - he can easily pull the brim down over his face to hide any semblance of emotion cause he cant have bitches thinking he feels anything. (small note: polnareff has been forcing him to go hatless so he physically cannot hide his face. hes evil)
inside his head, its about the same. due to his quiet and reserved nature, he didnt talk about feelings or anything growing up and still doesnt now, so often when he feels something he cant figure it out or understand it, so he tends to bury it beneath apathy so he doesnt have to deal with something new - because that scares him. but jotaro cant be afraid, of course not, thats not allowed. if hes afraid, then what does that mean for everyone else?
aside from not being able to express himself properly, his emotions are hidden due in part to fear of vulnerability and being pulled apart, dissected like some kind of creature he took a scalpel to in middle school. (he went home and cried to holly that day.) mocked, ridiculed for being human and feeling things. anger, mostly, just anger. but that's something everyone feels, something men feel, so it's okay to get pissed off at the smallest things. that makes sense to jotaro at least.
as for his relationship with polnareff and kakyoin, they've helped him tremendously in his ordeal with emotions and expression. kakyoin's seemingly unafraid to be weird and bitter and sarcastic and uncanny (or maybe feels ... comfortable?) and jean's feelings, regardless of what they may be are always being aired out, conveyed in such intensity that even a stone wall like jotaro cant help but resonate in some kind of way.
the way polnareff and kakyoin so unabashedly dote on each other, hate each other, poke fun at each other, and encourage jotaro to do the same - well, maybe it has him coming out of his shell a bit. maybe sometimes he'll make a snide comment and catch polnareff off guard and flounder, or maybe sometimes he'll contribute to kakyoin's long, long rants about something he likes, maybe even chime in with more than a few sentences about his own interests.
........... so erm.
needless to say i think this is one of my favorite relationships in jojo ever and theyre all very healthy for each other. three weird kids who complete each other in almost every way and somehow manage to not kill each other in the process (though theyve come close)
so......... SO sorry about. all of that. let me know if you want me to elaborate on anything, dont be afraid to send another ask ;>>
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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White Carnation
Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader
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a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing
huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista
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anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi
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ong this finna be painful
so
its always been the three of you
with living across the oikawas came great perks
even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime
hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug
iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’
yep thats really how it went
and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(
while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside
you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun
iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets
they liked you because you were like them
you were like one of the bois
but that kinda hurt you in the future
as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things
like you started to have crushes
specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime
thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister
but unfortunately, iwa did too
every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you
‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’
was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats
tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt
‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’
no, they werent old
they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented
but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute
your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him
your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you
‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’
god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead
why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?
‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’
oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you
‘she looks the same’
he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips
‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’
oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room
he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain
‘what the-’
‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’
he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side
‘OI KUSOKA-’
‘so whos winning?’
your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees
your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago
there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen
‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’
he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look
‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’
thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down
‘haji-kun, im fine’
you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off
now iwa was confused
you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over 
not frown and act so coldly
‘oi, y/n, what-’
‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’
oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise
he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions
‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’
omg oikawa is a real one 🥺
oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded
‘uh-eung! yea!’
that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing
except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him
ofc iwa was a loyal friend
he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything
tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!
it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other
maybe thats why,,,
he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between
maybe thats why,,,
he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him
maybe thats why,,,
he was no longer your friend 
iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall
it happened around the 2nd year of middle school
you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant
basically strangers
the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough
he was no longer him
before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa
like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru
you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns
you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped
because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was
he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl
even if that girl,,,
was you
thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen
your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this
you think he didnt know?
you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?
you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?
and oikawa was also worried
he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much
he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you
but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(
he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts
one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away 
no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand
‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’
god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence
you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way
anyways
you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen 
but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you
your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food
iwa wasnt surprised
he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house
it all makes sense
BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS
MAKE IT MAKE SENSE
‘h-how are you’
he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit
you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary
‘oh, now you see me?’
you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said
he winced
‘listen, im-’
‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’
oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows
you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing
‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’
you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie
‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’
i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time 
he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him
‘kay kay’
you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go
you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body
all while iwa was watching
maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost  a year
so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine
but yea he definitely forgot your smile
he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that
god he hated it
but no, he was doing this for tooru
he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him
but dear god why did it hurt
iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice
he could easily handle you two dating
right?
maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you
the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you
you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair
no that wasnt you
you were different
you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants
you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too
you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability
god you were so different
what if you liked him instead?
iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice
tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy
iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation
you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room
oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa
‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’
he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you
but you did and lordie did you hate it
from then on,,,
iwa was just seeing you everywhere
iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside 
he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes
those moments made him laugh
the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice
oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him
you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that
YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER
so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name
his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door
‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’
he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you
‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’
you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout
iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle
if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him
he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach
but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries
oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime
your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors
unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone
‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’
after that 
iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him
bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?
literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?
what kinda unfairness-
but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore
that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class
thats totally not creepy iwa lol
he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions
but the worst was when he got caught
you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back 
it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together
iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with
can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks
oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around
poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?
like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features
how was that possible?
‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’
he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes
‘hm?’
‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’
oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement
but makki chuckled and leaned in
‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′
okay iwa was angry
was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?
was it because you were part of this list?
was it because his own friend said you were pretty?
why did he even care anyways?!
oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more
‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’
the meme duo shared a confused look
‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’
oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two
so he did an oikawa move
‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’
okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch
iwa shook
you,,, had a what on who?!
a crush on him?!
is he the brute?!
so it wasnt oikawa?
it was to him?
then why did you act like that?
why did you both act like that?
‘what’
iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze
‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’
iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair
your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately
‘what the hell do you want’
you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back
‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’
his meek voice made you look up in confusion
‘what are you talking-’
‘you chose me instead him’
then it was like a click that you realized what he said
‘how did you know’
‘i-i’
he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat
the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks
OH GOD HE TOLD HIM
after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy 
‘how could you?! why did you tell-’
‘lets talk, y/n? please?’
iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away
oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,
‘get your girl’
the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now
no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side
‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’
you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes
‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’
he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff
‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’
‘hey y/n lets date’
you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped
‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’
you shrieked
‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’
iwa did the only thing he thought of
he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips
he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way
and it worked
bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy
you was the whole range of emotions in one second
‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’
iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again
tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl
‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’
you seethed when you pulled away
but iwa held your hands
‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’
and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him 
but iwa also
during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked
‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’
you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt
he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere
‘please accept me, y/n!’
he shouted while holding out the single white carnation
your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly
‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’
you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process
you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’
of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both
like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future
‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’
you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars
‘gojira’
he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest
‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’
iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them
‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’
you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport
‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’
you pouted
iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head
‘oi, y/n’
he started and you looked at him
‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’
you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile
‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’
iwa’s face contorted to disgust
‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’
‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’
your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING
like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up
you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands
like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast
‘ew, its the settling down for me’
‘its the flatness of the ass for me’
you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml
you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year
as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position
like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’
you smiled and blinked confusingly
‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’
he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows
‘baka, stop calling me that’
you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest
‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’
you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk
‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’
you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him
iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing
‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’
‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’
‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’
‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’
sure enough you were at the gym after school
the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job
ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants
the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-
‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’
you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well
the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building
‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’
‘shes so pretty’
‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’
yea you get the gist
the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him
‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’
you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately
‘why else do you think i offered it brat’
oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out
‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’
but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic
you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way
in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??
like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come
one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together
he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking
and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring
he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine
but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused
like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out
‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’
you blinked and shook your head
‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’
more important things?!
more important than showering you with love?
more important than even spending a second with him?
now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend
he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities
but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist
and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend
you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent
you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down
‘haji? whats wrong?’
his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry
‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’
you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside
‘hajime, what are you on about?’
you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended
‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’
his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up 
‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’
but he scoffed
‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’
youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa
okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that
and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river
except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million
and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose
when iwaizumi hajime was angry,  you really done it
you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you
‘h-hajime,,,’
you started and he looked at you expectantly
‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’
there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious
‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’
‘but what about me, y/n?’
he tiredly asked
‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’
despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate
so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you
‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’
you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there
‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’
you slightly let go and cupped his face
‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’
you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer
‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’
SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭
tbh that was really your only big fight
even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other
HOWEVER
when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision
you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh
which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision
in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao
tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved
BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS
you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field
that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier
and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club
so that meant,,,
no time for iwa
and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you
even weekends were like that
eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls
and that strained your former strong relationship
and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses
‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’
‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’
like that type of bull
you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone
your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream
‘hey? y/n? you okay?’
she gently asked and you blinked before nodding
‘mhm. just,,, thinking’
but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering
‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’
kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend
at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible
the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls
now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler
so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females
so that didnt really bother you 
but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered
just,,, blank
not even pushing away or feeding into their actions
just,,, standing there
‘haji?’
you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you
‘y/n’
he breathed out and you smiled gently
iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately
the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly
‘how-how are you?’
you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you
‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’
you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive
‘haji,, please understand’
you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him
iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks
‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’
he snipped and you sniffed
‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’
‘dont you think i know that?!’
he cut you off harshly
your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands
‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’
iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw
‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’
‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’
‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’
‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’
‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’
you shrieked
‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’
he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell
your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms
‘ha-hajime,, don-’
‘should we break up?’
was he asking you this right now? 
seriously?
‘what?’
you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes
‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’
he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events
‘t-tuesday?’
that seemed to snap his patience 
with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands
‘damn it, y/n’
he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries
then it clicked
anniversary
it was your 2nd anniversary
and you completely missed it
completely forgotten
you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries
‘ha-haji-’
you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up
‘y/n lets break up’
iwa requested with a cracked smile
your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear
‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’
‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’
your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it
it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it
‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’
‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’
you hiccuped and continued to sob
but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him
‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’
he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms
-------
iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you
even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over
like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other
the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school
it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air
it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying
you continued like that for years until you reached your third year
you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager
the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio
‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’
you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry
he looked up and recognized you as his former manager
‘l/n-senpai!’
he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug
‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’
you teased and ruffled his hair
‘uh-you know him, y/n?’
suga asked and you nodded
‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’
‘she was friends with iwa-’
ope
something flashed in your eyes 
kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years
‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’
she sang out and you perked up
‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’
you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape
kageyama shrugged and continued on training
he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you
and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there
‘its fine, y/n, i got you’
but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high
ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go
you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other
you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare
you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you
‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’
noya growled
‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’
ofc hinata echoed
the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away
‘oi! dont do that, boke!’
kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head
hinata whined and glared at him
‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’
‘boke-’
‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’
you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice
‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’
tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock
the famous seijoh ace dated you?!
this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!
‘yall didnt know that?’
kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him
‘how do you know’
‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’
he simply replied and continued filing his nails
you looked up and smiled
‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’
‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’
‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’
the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair
‘then go out there and make me proud’
but we know how this goes
they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata
‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’
you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly
once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home
you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it
a single white carnation
and a small ripped piece of paper that said,
‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’
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a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(
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pocmuzings · 4 years
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hello hi , it is g , ur friendly local neighbourhood hindu indian ( as in south asian  ) ! so a few people requested that i just make a guide-esque sorta thing on hindu  indian characters ! im not really good at guides , so instead , these are just little things i’ve noticed or picked up on that could really potentially strengthen the next indian character u ( pretty please ! ) pick up ! 
disclaimer : i am writing this from my perspective and it is NOT definitive , nor do i speak on behalf of all hindu indians  ! i am a 23-year-old bisexual cis female hindu indian , with one older gay brother, and a Train Wreck middle brother . my mother is from new delhi , and my father is from nairobi but has indian heritage ( not sure which part of india bc he’s an Engima ) . i have extended family in india and have visited india about 10-15 times throughout my entire life .
so firstly , im so glad u all are here and want to write more hindu indian characters ! please please do so !  i hope this helps , encourages u , and isnt too confusing !! 
psa : i need everyone to know that this is a very basic ‘ guide ‘ and theres a lot it DOESNT touch on or address bc i didnt want to get too Extensive and Detailed and have people Turn off and not Read it . this is just written in the terms of hopefully helping build  character / be relevant to characters a bit better that ive employed into writing my OWN hindu indian character creations !  but if u have any other questions pls reach out to me or any other indians in the rpc and im sure we’ll try our best to assist u !
FCS: 
one thing i’d really like to say is that its great to see fcs like dev patel  , deepika padukone and avan jogia picked up every now and then in rps , but there’s actually a LOT of other indian fcs you could be and should be using ! the main reason people don’t seem to know them is because they’re not ‘ hollywood ‘ stars per se ( it was a super big deal when pr*yanka broke out of bollywood and into bollywood but we don’t talk about her on this Blog ) . they’re usually bollywood stars and i don’t really see bollywood discussed that much in the rpc ! 
if you’re after MORE indian fcs , i have a tag of indian females here , and indian males here . the fcs on my blogs are also not ALL that exist . there are plenty of other blogs out there that post indian fcs , such as sonamhelps &  bollymusings !!! there’s also some really great faceclaim directories out there that include a LOT of indians with resources !
 unfortunately , i do not know of any trans indians or nonbinary indians but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist . indian cultures and beliefs are still quite Old School and not super progressive . india only just had it’s first wlw mainstream bollywood film released last year . lgbtqia+ issues are NOT really spoken about in india or within indian families at ALL , and if they are - they’re usually dismissed or reacted to Very Very Badly . ( again this isnt definitive and im sure and hopeful that some indians have had GREAT coming out stories and been accepted by their families but this has not been a common thing ive seen or witnessed from my cousins my age , indian friends , myself and my brother who are lgbtqia +  ) 
FOOD : 
we do eat with our hands and we eat like PROS with our hands . we can shovel it so easily and quickly . i don’t know how to describe it but you use the first three fingers of your hand to place the Food there , and then use your thumb to kinda scoop it off and into your mouth . this is NOT unhygienic because indians wash their hands very regularly and most of the time we aren’t actually touching our mouths to our hands ! 
indian food is MADE to be eaten with your hands for the most part . it is literally NOT practical to eat food with a knife and fork . here’s a really great article explaining things more in depth re: indian food and using our hands !
cows are seen as Very holy beings in hindu indian culture , and for that reason - there isn’t a lot of beef being eaten or consumed. sure , some indians DO eat beef but i don’t think its super common, but in my personal experience as a non-beef-eater this results in A LOT of me asking ‘ oh ,  sorry what sauce does that pasta come with ? ‘ ‘ oh those are beef sausages ? sorry i can’t eat them ‘ etc etc . beef is in a LOT of things , and this makes me very very careful and almost pedantic about what i do eat and ask about , food wise  !
indian food is seen as stinky by a majority of white people . it has a very very strong smell as im sure u know , and opening ur lunch box as a little kid to a Curry or Dal ur mum has made u ? one way street to being bullied . i also remember a time a real estate agent continuously told my dad nobody was interested in buying our house bc it smelled too much like curry,  despite my mum not having cooked curry in Weeks ( just say what u Really mean ,  bitch ! )
 indian curry exists but so does dal / daal . this is curry-like dish that is usually made out of lentils . so if ur going to talk about indian food and u know curries and samosas . . pls also bring up dals . and sabji ! ( sabji is usually just boiled vegetables plopped together . a lot of potato usually )
desserts are what we call Indian Sweets  . this is stuff that is usually very VERY sugary and a bit of an accustomed taste . theyre very colourful and LOOK beautiful but even i , for one , can not eat many indian sweets bc they are a Lot of Sweet and Sugar    . examples of indian sweets that u can google  : gulab jamun , burfi , rasgulla , jalebi etc . here’s a great link for more !
give me spiced food or give me death . literally . . put some cumin in . . put some garam masala . . put some chillies . . flavour ur Food for my Indian Taste Buds 
FAMILY : 
if you are the oldest son of an Indian Family . . congratulations . you are now the Head of the family and must carry every weight and burden alone . it is extremely isolating and taxing on you ( my dad is the oldest indian son , and also - so is my eldest brother , obvs ) . there is a LOT that is expected of you to do . you are expected to quite literally run the family and be the ‘ man of the house ‘ by yourself . 
if you are a daughter . . . even BIGGER congratulations ! you are basically a maid to every male or guest who EVER comes over to your house . you must be a Hostess , you must be in the kitchen cooking , serving snacks, bringing tea , and then washing up and basically waiting on Hand and Foot . you will not be included into a lot of dialogue or engaged in a lot of conversation and TRUST ME ! THAT WILL GRIND UR GOD DAMN GEARS IN THE 21ST CENTURY ! 
if you are a boys’ boy ( aka straight and Sporty ) , then congrats ! you get it the easiest : you are the favourite of every social event . the uncles and cousins love talking to you and dude-ing it up with you , and the aunts fawn over you and think you’re the Best Thing since sliced bread . sit back , put your feet up , and expect to be treated like a God. you can do absolutely no wrong . ( my middle brother is this to a T and listen . . he’s been in and out of jail for physical violence and ab*se for over 5 years . and family still FROTH over him . my teeth are gritted to dust thinking of this again ) 
indian aunties are lethal . they gossip like teenage girls . they will find out everything . they will bitch behind your back . they can NOT be trusted .
everyone is ur uncle or aunt, sister or brother . literally everyone . ur cousin ? no. thats ur sister . ur dads friend ? no , thats ur uncle . you will call them as such . EVERYONE is family .  
family is in general a VERY BIG THING in indian culture , too . ‘ what will it Look like to everyone else if we don’t all arrive together ? ‘ my dad usually asks dskjdfjn . it’s all about Looking Right and Standing As A United Front  . that being said , indian family has undying and unwavering loyalty for one another , they just show it in a very Weird way .
FASHION: 
female hindu indian formal  clothes are usually really embroidered to hell and back and this makes them very scratchy , uncomfortable, and HEAVY . you aren’t running anywhere anytime soon in a full blown lehenga or saree 
most ‘ modern ‘ hindu indian women do not wear full Indian Clothes all the time . some do , but usually it’s a lot of wearing a kurti tunic with jeans , or just normal everyday clothing . again , this is going to be different based on which parts of india your character is from , though ! 
usually , older women and married women  wear traditiona hindul indian clothing quite often . i know my mum wore a sari AT HOME everyday when i was growing up, until i was like 13 and took her shopping with me to get something Else to wear . 
bindi’s just stick right onto ur forehead but they do fall off a lot , especially when ur wearing makeup or sweating . again , you don’t need to wear a bindi everyday , unless thats ur preference . i usually only wear them for festivals . ( festivals means indian celebrations , not like . . coachella  ((which u should not be wearing a bindi to , if ur not indian fyi )) )
male formal clothes are usually just literally anything Formal and buttoned up for the most part , and u can get away with that , or you can wear a really nice kurta
indians wear white at funerals , not black  ( not sure if this should go in the fashion section but this entire thing is being organised into a Mess by now anyways ) . you CAN wear black to a funeral of course , but its common to wear white !
DATING ( tw’s for islamaphobia ): 
modern day indian / desi fuck boys exist and my god they are Something Else . hasan minhaj did a really good piece about this and explaining them to a T ( starts at 1:43 )
( THIS IS THE POINT THAT WILL MENTION ISLAMAPHOBIA AND HOMOPHOBIA ! ) basically according to Older  indians , ,  ur dating options  in 2020 go like this ( if ur a cis female like me ) : hindu indian men are god tier , white men are Not Okay But I Guess So Bc We Have To Accept They’re Everywhere , females / being lgbtqia+ is not Taken Seriously , and muslims are literally not even close to being an option or Accepted  . again this isn’t definitive but based on a lot of  indian media i’ve consumed and seen how they portray muslims in general as well as Dating Options , as well as talking to other indians  , both who are older / traditional and hold these ideals , whereas Younger gens generally do NOT hold these ideals  / actively are Against these backwards ideals.   i remember when i was in year 6 and had my first boyfriend . . he was a muslim and my dad FLIPPED the FUCK out  . it’s not even that i was dating someone / young / his only daughter . . it was mainly because i was dating a muslim . again , this is a very OLD SCHOOL and traditional way of thinking and it is NOT CORRECT .  pls don’t take this as a note to be islamaphobic if u write an indian character bc . . thats literally the opposite of what im trying to tell u here . 
yeah arranged marriages are definitely still a thing for us , even now in 2020
YES if u are an unmarried / single indian ( ESPECIALLY if ur a woman ) about to enter ur 30s . . ur in DANGER and u are the black sheep and theres probably something Wrong With You bc why are u still single ?
TRADITIONS / BELIEFS / SUPERSTITIONS :
idk if its just me and my family but we are SUPER superstitious . if you say anything like ‘ he hasnt gotten sick in years !’ immediately , everyone knocks on wood or their head . if you were planning on leaving the house and sneeze ? thats bad luck , stand and wait for five minutes then u can leave . we have a strong belief in drishti , or  alternatively : The Evil Eye  , and making sure we don’t invite it into our lives . a lot of our prayers are about warding drishti away .
the evil eye is kinda Complicated but basically its an ill-wishing upon an unsuspecting person . if somebody is jealous of you or angered by you , they may wish upon you or cast upon you the Evil eye ( or even just glare at u whilst ur not looking and thats Big Bad ) . 
a lot of older indians , like older people in general i guess , are not super progressive or Open . this isnt ALWAYS the case but older indians can be very very stubborn in their beliefs in what is Right and Wrong , Normal and Not Normal 
theres a LOT of hindu indian festivals and events ! tbh too many for me to even keep up with . but without fail at least once a year ill say to ONE of my friends ‘ oh sorry i cant make it . i have an indian Thing on that day ‘ and its usually about a festival , so pls be aware that there are a LOT of indian festivals and if ur writing an indian character , its perfectly understandable and Relatable for them to say they can’t make it to a party or hang out with their friends that night , for that very reason !
the main / most popular ( ? ) festivities  that i personally do celebrate every year without fail are : 
diwali ( the festival of lights , celebrating goddess lakshmi roaming the earth . in my household this is usually turning on literally every single light and lighting candles and fireworks / sparklers and saying some prayers , and eating a formal dinner all together !  )  
holi ( the festival of colours . celebrating victory and love . again personally for me , this was usually celebrated at the temple with all of us Kids running around throwing paint on each other ! ) 
rakhi / raksha bandhan ( a day of sisters celebrating their brothers . you tie a rakhi which is usually a bracelet / holy string around your brothers wrist , feed them some food , pray for their wellbeing and in return they gift you something . in my case, i usually get money from them ) .
navratri  / durga puja ( 9 nights and 10 days of celebrations but tbh u don’t have to do all the days . or i mean . . i don’t . i fast one day from morning to night and then i slide on over to boogie and dance dandiya which is literally the MOST FUN dance ever bc its based off some Historical Fight and u go faster and faster and keep going until ur absolutely SPENT bc u dont wanna lose ur place in the circle )  
there are SO MANY HINDU INDIAN GODS too . and so many prayers to all of them and to just general Life Wellness . chances are that ur character will know at least ONE aarti / gazal / prayer off by heart and have sung it at least 30 times in a monotone voice . the ones i know off by heart bc ive had to sing them 3000 times ? om jai jagdish hare , & the gayatri mantra 
GENERAL LIL THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO CATEGORISE ( tw’s for skin whitening , colorism and classism ) :
( THIS IS THE POINT THAT NEEDS A TW FOR SKIN WHITENING AND COLORISM  ) lets hold indians accountable right now : we advertise SKIN LIGHTENING CREAM  . i think they finally stopped that earlier this year / due to BLM ( i’m not entirely sure / could be wrong ) , but thats literally how bad it is , that we would openly advertise and encourage people to literally bleach their skin rather than look darker . 
( THIS IS THE POINT THAT NEEDS A TW FOR COLORISM AND CLASSISM ) colorism is a BIG thing in india and usually linked to class . generally speaking , the people who are Darker Skinned are usually people who work outside / labourers or homeless even , and are therefore seen as lower class / bottom class . the lighter skin you have , the more privileged and advantaged you are bc ur seen as working a Good job out of the sun and having a home . it’s incredibly classist as well as just generally Fucked Up . why am i telling u this ? mainly so u understand the importance of using a dark skinned indian fc vs a light skinned indian fc which i know is hard , bc a lot of darker skinned indians arent in hollywood / have resources , but its still something to Think About .  
i have a long Ethnic name . literally my first name is 10+ letters , which i know doesnt seem that long Necessarily but its also a Super Ethnic name with e’s and and j and n . it Flows and Sounds very clearly different from a christian name . it is VERY important to me that my name be said Correctly because i’ve spent so much time having it said incorrectly or Westernised . i also know a lot of indians my age who ( like me ) have had to dramatically shorten their REAL first name ( which is usually also pretty long . not always , but it is Common ) , to fit their name into white people’s mouths better . please put some thought into ur indian characters name !
not all indians speak hindi ! hindi is one of MANY dialects within india . there is also tamil , urdu  , bengali , punjabi , telugu and SO many more , so pls research which part of india ur character / their family  is from bc hindi won’t always be the default language for them !
not every indian is hindu ! of course ur character doesnt have to be religious at all , bc if im being honest IM barely religious but my FAMILY is and this is smth u should think abt bc religion is a pretty big thing for indians . so even if ur character isnt hindu , they were probably raised with SOME religious beliefs . have a think about which religions they would have been brought up with ! there’s a very large percentage of practicing muslims , sikhs and buddhists too ! and even christianity !
WRITING WISE / CREATING AN INDIAN CHARACTER WISE :
the first step should be to consume indian media ! listen to indian music . watch bollywood movies ! theres SO MANY  out there on everyone’s netflix . if u want some recs , let me know and i can try my best to find smth for u ! if u want smth thats Hollywood-indian . . . Hasan Minhaj is great to watch , especially his episodes on indian culture / politics , and Never Have I Ever on netflix was rlly good / relatable for me personally as an indian growing up in a western society !
i would really really love to see more indian rep in general , but i’d also like to discuss the Stereotypes that ive seen indians portrayed as in mainstream hollywood media :
indian women as soft spoken and subservient beings who are abused by their husbands and have no say in anything 
heterosexuality within indian relationships and indian dating 
indian men as sleazy 
indians in general not being seen as Sexy or Sexual beings with any sex drive at all 
Stumbling , Stuttering , Nerdy awkward messes of men who don’t know how to interact with anybody they find sexually appealing
an indian character that everybody ( usually white ) finds Uncomfortable and Weird and is seen as usually the Butt of the joke .
 i think those mentioned above could be helpful in how to plan your next indian character and think about how to SUBVERT a trope theyre often portrayed as , or create an indian thats not stereotypical !
so what and who SHOULD you write ? 
an indian character who is proudly and openly gay , or bi 
a trans or nonbinary indian ( PLEASE ! ) 
an indian character with really super accepting parents and family 
an aromantic indian 
an indian who is focused on their career first and not their dating life 
a fuckboy / fuckgirl ( honestly . . i’d love to see it )
a indian character who is a party animal 
an outspoken indian female who takes no shit and is strong in every sense of the word
a confident , smooth talking indian businessman who is Sexy and Lusted After ( not in a gross christian grey way but just . i’d love to see indian characters seen as Sexy . not in a fetishy way , either , but just because it’d be a nice change in pace ! )
a character who IS traditional / religious but also very progressive and forward thinking in their beliefs 
honestly just any character that isnt whats mentioned above
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disaster-fruit · 3 years
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So, someone requested prompt 18) "are you wearing my shirt?" for the smut prompts but then i DIDNT WRITE SMUT once again, but i will TRY to write smut with this one again, so i will post the not-smut seperatly from the ask.
Family AU (aka trans luci au) fluff
CW for my trans readers: discussions of early transition, hormones, and pregnancy.
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“Are you wearing my shirt?”
Luciano was sprawled on the bed, eating a whole plate of brigadeiro with a spoon, and in an awful mood.
“Mine don’t fit anymore.” He grumbled, not looking at him. “Yours are more comfortable.”
Martín chuckled affectionately and took off his shoes to join his moody husband on the bed. He snuggled close to him and kissed his cheek, expecting Luciano to turn to kiss him back, but he just got another spoon of chocolate for himself. Still, Martín was happy to cuddle as it was, seeing from far away that Luciano was in need of some love and attention to improve his day.
Martín slid his hand to Luciano’s lower abdomen and raised his shirt up to his chest, exposing his stomach.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, caressing him there.
“Sick.” He grunted. “You know morning sickness? Turns out it lasts the entire day.”
“Yeah, you told me.” Martín chuckled, running his palm over his belly almost mindlessly. “So is it a good idea to eat all this brigadeiro?”
Luciano glared at him.
“I’m not sick right now. Give me a break.”
“Okay, okay. But I bought you that weird red fruit you said you were craving. Had to go to three different markets to find it. I’ll make you some juice if you want.” He offered, nuzzling his hair.
“Ah, right.” Luciano didn’t sound half as grateful as Martín expected. “Maybe later.”
Martín pouted, a little frustrated with his own failure in cheering up his husband. He watched his own hand as it followed the smooth curve of Luciano’s stomach. Despite what Luciano thought, his own shirts still hid it completely from the rest of the world, but for Martín, who was more than familiar with his body, he had been showing for a while.
“I read in one of my books that he should be the size of a pear by now.” he commented casually, almost just for himself.
“Feels more like an evil mango to me.” Luciano mumbled. “You think it’s a ‘he’?”
“I’m sure it is. And I already know the perfect name-”
“I’m not calling our son Diego.”
“It’s a perfectly good name!” Martín protested.
“It’s not happening. Diego and Martín II are out of question.”
“You’re no fun.”
“I’m not. Besides, the tarot said it’s a girl.”
“You went to that lady next to the bakery again?”
“Yes, and she always gets everything right.”
“Oh, really?” Martín raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “Like what?”
“She told me to not be afraid to get close to you again.” Luciano smiled triumphantly. “That we were meant to be. And when I wasn’t sure if it was too soon to propose, she told me you’d say yes.” He raised his left hand and wiggled his ring finger to emphasize.
“Well, I knew that all anyway.” Martín retorted. “I knew we were meant to be since our very first date after we met again. And I knew I would say yes if you proposed pretty much since then too.”
Luciano rolled his eyes, but his mood had improved a little, and that was worth a fortune to Martín.
“And this evil pear-mango” he continued. “is the fruit of our love.”
Luciano laughed despite himself. He looked away, avoiding his stupid husband’s face.
“And of a million doctor visits. And all-day-long sickness. And almost two years without my hormones. And-”
“I know, I know,” Martín shut him up by holding his face with both hands and kissing his cheek and mouth countless times per second. “You’re making a lot of sacrifices for us, and that’s why you’re all grumpy and sulky.” he teased in babytalk, drinking Luciano’s helpless laugh as he tried to get away from the kiss attack. “But I love your grumpy sulky face.”
Martín finished the attack with a real kiss, a press off lips full of love and certainty, one that even Luciano couldn’t refuse.
“And I love you.” He whispered as he pulled away to look at Luciano’s eyes.
“I love you too, baby.” Luciano softened, running his thumb over his cheek. “I’m just very tired.”
“I figured.” Martín caressed his hair out of his face. “You’ve been feeling sick a lot lately.”
“Tell me about it.” He groaned, staring at the ceiling. “I’m sick all day long and when I’m not sick I’m horny.”
Martín propped himself on an elbow with an interested smile.
“Is that so?”
“Not right now.” Luciano gave him an ugly look. “But I read it’s normal. Though it’s not as bad as my hormones. You should’ve seen me in my first year, I was basically a teenager.”
“Really?” Martín arched an eyebrow, inviting Luciano to talk more.
“Actually, I’m glad we weren’t talking. I was horny all the time, hungry all the time, sweaty all time, I got angry out of nowhere, my voice started breaking… Which, you know, it’s fine if you’re 14 but it’s not how you want to be in your twenties.”
Martín giggled at the image.
“You still eat a crazy amount for a body so small.” He teased, pecking his cheek.
“I also had so, so much acne…” he whined at the memory. “And I didn’t help either, I had a mullet.”
Martín laughed loud at that.
“Your dad showed me pictures.”
“The fucking old man…” Luciano grumbled.
“When I came out to Chiara, she took it as an invitation to give me a complete makeover.” Martín smiled as he remembered. “We went shopping, she donated almost all my band t-shirts and bought some actual clothing, fancy shoes and perfume and all. And on my birthday she bought me this really nice watch, I ended up breaking it after and she almost killed me, it was really nice. But our first stop was a hairstylist.”
Luciano shared his laugh, connecting the fancy gay he had married to the dirty teen he had dated so long ago.
“She knew what she was doing.”
“If we were friends at the time, I would’ve taken you to do the same. Get rid of that mullet and get some fucking skin care.”
“Never, I was very protective of my mullet.”
“Well, my boyfriend wouldn’t have an ugly hair style, not under my watch.”
Luciano was smiling.
There was something incredibly comforting about talking about the past like that. What had before hunted him was now just a casual piece of their history, that had to happen like it did for them to eventually get together. When they first started dating again, Martín would often find himself thinking of these what-ifs, these different realities where he wouldn’t have spent ten years apart from the love of his life, where he would’ve been able to be a part of his transition and support him, where everything would’ve happened sooner.
At that time, he thought any of those possibilities would have been better. But now they were laying on the same bed, talking about them. Luciano was his husband, he was wearing his shirt and he was pregnant with their first child and Martín had his hand comfortably feeling his stomach as they talked.
What could’ve been better than this?
“Even with a decent haircut I’d still look like a disaster.” Luciano’s playful voice brought him back to reality. “Just a huge hormonal mess all the way around. After a while I think they kinda settled in place?”
“So you stopped being horny, sweaty and hungry all the time and became just hungry all the time?”
“Well, the hormones still make me horny, it’s just more manageable. These months I spent without them I was never in the mood.”
“I remember.” Martín chuckled. “Which is not ideal when you’re trying to make a baby.”
“Well, now the baby is making me horny again.”
“Now?” Martín’s eyes widened.
“Not now.” Luciano pushed him playfully on the shoulder. “God, are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
Martín laughed and pinched him gently.
“You’re unpredictable, so I must be ready to take care of you at all times.”
“Then go make me that jambo juice.”
Martín grinned and gave him a peck on the lips.
“Sure, daddy.” He winked and got up in a second. “Whatever you want.”
Luciano looked at him disapprovingly, but he was smiling, and that was worth the world for him.
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liliplayschoices · 4 years
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Do you have any headcanons for your ILITW MC?
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My giiiiiiiirl ����
I have a ton of headcanons for her ^^ most of them also include Andy though I gotta be honest so he might pop up a lot here 😂 also this is absolutely ramble-y because I just dumped all my thoughts here so... sorry about that lmao (also im on mobile so I can't use a read more, sorry xD)
Okay so I know in the events of the book, we don't see her interacting with other people at school but I think these weeks aren't representative of what her life looks like normally. I see her as an introvert, she won't enjoy big parties often or anything but she still has a really amiable nature so people tend to be friends with her easily.
I think Devon is a pretty artistic girl. She loves to read fantasy and sci fi, she loves to cosplay, maybe she's a theater kid, too. I think she draws too, but I don't know what kind of art she prefers (as in, digital, street art, painting,.... I don't know haha)
When the story starts she's had a crush on Andy for a little while now. Nothing major, mind you, but yeah, teenage crush, blushing when she sees him, that kinda stuff, you know ^^ so when they start hanging out again it comes naturally between them pretty fast.
When Andy is in the hospital after the events of the book (and after that when he's stuck at home until he gets better), she comes to hang out with him a lot. More often than not, Tom is there too, so the two of them become pretty close, they realize they have a lot in common so they hang out at school too and become close friends (yes I am ignoring the ILB canon that Tom doesn't know her well. I don't care.)
Anyway so the three of them play a toooon of video games during that time which leads to a tradition of game night for the three of them and it gets pretty intense, cause Andy gets super competitive 😂 ( @the-unconquered-queen and I talked about game night a few times and now I can't let go of this HC ^^)
And of course there are also a lot of times when Tom isn't there, so they basically have little date nights together, watching movies and shows. Devon brings junk food to him when he's in the hospital (the nurses know but they let it happen lmao) and she curls up on his bed and they watch movies on her laptop (cause the hospital tv never has anything interesting) and it's soooo cute cause they didnt really... get official at that point you know, but then they just start dating and falling in love and all 😍
Anywayyyyy back to Devon. So I think she never truly heals from what happened. She always felt like Jane's death was her fault, and even if rationally she knows that what Noah did isn't her fault, she can't help but feel guilty over it. So that's why she starts going into the woods again.
I think she never really held Noah responsible for what happened, because of her own guilt. Like, objectively she knows what he did was wrong but she also feels like it's her fault if Jane is dead so that's why she forgives him for his actions pretty quickly
She starts doing a lot of research into how she could help him, and the Power in general. She doesn't go to college after high school, but she starts working at the local library pretty soon and gets a little obsessed. After a while, she does starts college (to study graphic design), but she doesn't seem to be able to move on from Noah and wanting to free him. She doesn't focus much on studies because she can't get rid of her guilt and obsession to make things right.
She ultimately tells the rest of the group and it does not go well. Especially with Andy. They've been dating for years at this point but this is the biggest fight they ever have. I think Andy is the kind of guy who holds a grudge so he would still be pissed at Noah, and there's the added layer of him feeling like Devon didnt trust him and put herself in danger needlessly and he's scared that he might have lost her without knowing it. They do work it out after a while because ultimately they love each other enough to work through it but yeah, that happens and it's a pretty big fight.
I feel like most of the rest of the group are mad but they come around to helping her at some point. Ava is immediately jumping at the chance to help Devon with all the supernatural research and stuff.
Dan has another approach. He can see that what Devon does is pretty unhealthy because of how she's clinging to the past, so he tries to help her work through her guilt and her trauma. It does help, and she becomes less obsessed after a while (she's still hell-bent on freeing Noah's spirit but she also starts moving on in other aspects of her life, paying attention in class, thinking about the future,...)
Oh total change of subject lmao but you know how Andy is in college on a basketball scholarship? Yeah so I think Andy would be a total frat bro 😂 like, he'd go to frat parties and do keg stands and stupid harmless dares and stuff. You know the type of guy. So Devon goes to frat parties because she knows he loves it despite it not reslly being her scene ^^ but she stills ends up having fun and does make friends with Andy's friends too
Also she gets into the habit of stealing and wearing his basketball jacket ( I got @kingkangs on board with this one and i will get the whole fandom to accept Devon wearing Andy's basketball jacket) and he says he minds, but... you know... He really doesn't ;)
To be honest, I feel like Devon would never truly be able to move on while Noah was still trapped, she would still feel obligated to help him. So I imagine that after a long time, they do manage to free his spirit (I don't know how okay I'm not writing IL3 😂 let's just say they do!)
So after that, she starts truly thinking of the future. She starts looking for a long-term job, Andy and her move in together after college.
They still have game nights with Tom on the regular (Harper, my ILB MC, joins them cause her and Tom are dating ^^) and Andy is still super competitive cause that hasn't changed 😂
Devon still loves cosplay so she convinces Andy to go to conventions with her and he's like "....fine I'll do it" begrudgingly but once he's there he's having a blast 😂
Anyway I think that's pretty much it for now! I rambled a lot, sorry... But you did ask! That was super fun so thank youu for your ask!!!
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midasgutz · 3 years
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elfen lied manga was such a fuckin trip. did i dream that shit up ? who allowed the dude who made that to just write all that shit??
i need to talk about elfen lied because this shit has been living rent free in my head for over an actual decade. significantly longer than a decade.
im glad that i can now accept that media i consume doesnt necessarily say anything about me, because. jesus, every inch of elfen lied is a war crime. every panel.
the coolest character who was generic tough military dude, who right when you meet him makes a point of punching a secretary just for standing behind him. and then goes out to find and kill a 17 year old with abandonment issues. and gets his shit kicked in and his arm ripped off and his eyes plucked out. and so, naturally, he trades his testicles for some dope robot eyes. for the sake of all humanity. oh and a really mediocre robot arm that he can actually break if he puts too much force into like anything. and so naturally he then finds a 14 year old homeless girl, who helped him while he was bleeding out on the beach. and of course he beats her up and, possibly kicks her dog. and then he gives her his number. uh, so he can come help her if anyone tries to... beat her up? because he cant owe her anything. and then she says something he doesnt like so he beats her up again and she shows him the paper he wrote his number on and says "someone scary is screwing with me". he storms off after that but doesnt take the paper, he still owes her. he makes good on it too, she gets in some bad trouble with a bad bad dude later. a bad bad dude with a trenchcoat whos basically just a vampire hunter, crossbow included but actually he's here to hunt teenage girls with horns, not fangs. the crossbow shoots hard metal balls with velcro spikes that have a toxin on them that causes excrutiating pain. this guys a bad bad dude, and he miiiiiight be suggesting he's gonna rape this 14 year old girl but it could be the unfairthful translation causing confusion. probably not tho the author of this series is majorly fucked in the head. anyway robocop shows up and he puts his boot right down this dudes throat so thats like whatever. that panel was my desktop wallpaper for like 6 years. we find out that 17 year old girl is evil because some kids killed her dog with a vase. so she blew them up, and after that she goes around blowing people up just to eat the food in their fridge and hang around the crib for a minute. so shes framed as the good guy and robocop is evil this time and they fight again and she does kill robocop this time which sucks because theres a good portion of manga left and no one else is as interesting as he is. he dies on the beach where he lost his eyes and his arm and lets be honest he basically lost his balls at the same time.
oh. and theres a girl who does peepee in her diaper a lot. and she can sing. i dont know why she was there but i mean every other fetish the author had already made a fucking appearance so why not lmao
theres also like. some main characters. theyre complete shit. these include a normal boy. his cousin who is the most annoying character in the fucking world. she is literally just "im only here to pad the amount of love interests our generic main character can have all at once" the character. yeah man, his cousin? cause shit why not. why not, its japan, do as the romans do. also theres the alternate personality of the 17 year old. shes only here so that evil 17 year old girl can be a love interest not once but twice, and i mean, conveniently shes often naked. makes sense, when the only word you can say is "milk".
and then there's Nana. Nana is a quad amputee after evil 17 year old girl ripped all her limbs off and almost finished her off. but dont worry! her dad, whos not her dad at all, finds her and he gives her some prosthetics that she can control with her super powers. what do you mean you werent aware of the super powers? of course they have super powers. its manga. after he does this he just lets her loose with a bunch of money and his tie because she asked very politely for the dangly thing he wears on his neck. she wears it like a headband, even though she established she knew it went around his neck. so yeah he gave her money but she was raised in a lab like a rat so she has no clue what its for. she meets the 14 year old homeless girl and they have a fun time being homeless together. Nana burns the money in a fire to keep warm but only some of it because the 14 year old girl tells her that you can trade money for food, which makes nana very happy because boy did she want some of the 99 cent street vendor food earlier. no one acknowledges that nana has enough money to buy her own house and be well off for easily 5 years. 14 year old girl takes her to the main character house that shes been staying at for a while and they have a bath. nana hated this idea until she realized that bath doesnt mean bucket of cold water at her new sort of house. but uh oh, nana senses evil 17 year old and shes kinda pissed about her arms and legs. they almost do a fight but wait whats this? 17 year old isnt fighting back, she just keeps saying "milk" and smiling. nana takes some issue with this and promptly leaves after pushing her through a rice paper door. shortly after everyone goes looking for nana.
um some stuff happens and then whaaaattt??? nanas not dads real daughter is introduced. shes locked in a circular room lined with lead and chloride of lime. with a diameter of 15 meters, the length of her invisible hands. shes only ever had the voice of a single woman to comfort her, shes permanently lockdd in bondage gear unable to move. she has to use a wheelchair to move because her legs have completely atrophied. she moves it with her invisible hands, her real ones are useless. she calls the only voice she knows her mother. her mothers job has been to talk to and comfort this dangerous girl for years. said mother mentions her excitement to finally see the girl in person, and also casually drops how theyve sewn bombs into several parts of her body. conveniently, if shes in intense pain her powers dont work. so she meets her mom, takes one look at her and says "youre not my mom >:(" and sends her entire upper torso flying. conveniently said torso lands near the bomb controls. she slams that shit like shes a rat with an orgasm button and babygirls arm go bye bye. they inform her while she writhes in pain that she has to comply with their demands or they can blow her whole deal up next time. shes pretty ok with being blown up, but then they tell her they want her to kill something so her ears perk up like a cat hearing a can opener. yep shes going to go kill evil 17 year old. nanas not dad is not taking any of this well but he essentially gets mindbroken after he has to blow up his daughter later after shit flies off the handle. he spends his time as a homeless man, denoted by the sudden appeaeance of a large beard, living in a shack on the beach where robocop died. he does note the beach is incredibly clean and that is because robocop picked up allllllll the trash so that evil 17 year old couldnt throw it at him. he did totally eat shit anyway though no worries. im not bitter about it why should you be? im not.
anyway shit happens and 17 year old melts into a really graphic puddle of fleshy goo, and in doing so totally does the jesus thing. because at some point she realized she really just wanted to be with main character, but all of the things shes done makes that impossible.
i was like maybe 12 when i read this shit. i didnt reread it for this. im pretty sure most of this is accurate but i CAN and WILL promise you one thing. diaper girl is real, and he REALLY really really really 100% did trade his balls for robot eyes, and a playdough robot arm.
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huntsman-ash · 4 years
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LiveThoughts: RWBY V8E6
Second attempt at this since last time Chrome just DIED for no reason...
Im going to put literally the entire thing with Cinder under one note; Called it.
Its a great set of stuff, sure, but it doesnt relaly tell us anything we didnt already know about Cinder, and I personally feel it doesnt really explain why she turned out the way she did. I feel like we’ve had another weird twist of the situation again...M+K? Coronas fault? Who knows. Either way, this section isnt great by my taste and I kinda skipped most of it. 
Few things to note though; Apperently in Mistral scrubbing by hand is still more viable floor cleaning tech than using Dust.
The wind vane on the roof has the Rooster Teeth symbols rooster on it. 
The hotel Cinder is bought by is named the Glass Unicorn, fittingly enough for...several reasons. 
The coffees behind the stepsisters when we first see them are the animated versions of the real life stuff RT put out just before this season went live. 
No one seems to notice the fact cinder has orange eyes. I wonder if weird eye colors are just a THING in Remnant?
The control collar/shock thing is incredibly inefficient in design, since it doesnt actually hold on to her very well. A more effective brace/choker design would have worked better.
The song that goes on during all of this is...kind of obvious and a little bland? Fitting for younger Cinder I guess. 
Mmm. Random greasy huntsman. 
I guess in Atlas its fine to laugh at struggling teenagers?
Im going to assume there’s a 3+ year gap here where she gets older, cause she stops being smol and gets closer to how we see her now.
Also even here, in Atlas...really? The most effective way to clean these carpeted floors is to have a TEENAGER SCRUB THEM BY HAND?
How do you scrub...I assume its carpet anyway?
And how you tell civilians are lame in Atlas; they are impressed...by a sword.  Just a sword. A boring, half-cut sword. Losers.
I assume this would be Cinder’s semblance manifesting. Also note on the desk; “we do not serve faunus”. Well THAT doesnt surprise me.
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Get fucked Cinder. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
I dont even feel pity for her, this is funny to me.  Also the fact that this kind of shit aCTUALLY EXISTS is...amusing to me. Like, really? So I guess indentured servitude is a thing in Remnant too. 
And this is why Cinder likes to use swords. Really. Wow. LAMEO.
Huh. Dual maces. Interesting. Thats a prety cool weapon.  Looks like they open up too. Bet he could bash some skulls with that.
“Hurting them isnt going to make your life any better”. Um, excuse me? I think hurting them is the very best thing to do in this situation. At least, for the moment anyway. 
Huh. So she’s ten at this point? Even as a child, shes older than she looks. 
And training montage. Huh. Or at least I assume it is. I get the feeling being able to go where you want too and do what you want too is the main reason Hunters exist. There must be crazy tight immigration laws...or, maybe, its just that traveling between kingdoms is stupid dangerous cause of Grimm. I think the latter is most likely considering every form of public transit extra-kingdom we’ve seen (even between cities, see Argus Limited) has some kind of defensive weaponry. Limited and ineffective, for th emost part oddly.
So you can take the exam at 18. Okay cool. Pre-that must be prep school. Wonder what happens if you wash out? Also I like how this dude is just “yeah, 7 years of training, we got this.”
I think this is the first time we’ve seen the other side of the moon. Or at least, the proper other side...bloody hell I STILL dont know how all those piesces are still held in place, the thing looks like it should start yeeting bolides at Remnant. 
Better still we see it MOVE, rotate in time to the passing of years. So it literally does rotate on its own axis, and more importantly, unlike OUR moon, its NOT tidally locked. We only ever see the same side of our moon. REmnants rotates MUCH faster. Also it doesnt seem to have phases like ours does. I’ll check on why that is. 
Well at least we have an explanation for why Cinders so damn good at fighting people. Trained by an Atlas Huntsman.
Also as a note the device is quite literally just an electrical Dust crystal attached to a necklace. Things the most inefficent torture device Ive ever fucking seen. 
Wonder how often they have to change the crystal.
And there goes the moon rotating again.
I like how NO ONE comment on the blade going missing and that guy never came back for it. I guess he must have just bought a new one.
I get the very distinct feeling they wont just let her go honestly, permission or not. 
AWWW WE DONT EVEN GET TO SEE CINDER MURDER THE SISTERS. Also no blood. Odd.  Good kill on the  stepmother though. Oh, that NECK CRACK.  I like how all the bitch can do is try and shock Cinder, like, uh...adrenaline up? SHE HAS A SWORD? MAYBE FIGHT BACK?
Hah. Weak ass fuckin Atlas people.  Also the clock going off in the back ground twelve times. How fitting. Welcome to midnight. 
Also shes kind of glowing here cause the room is dark, and I find it amusing this is probably the last time she wears white.
And THERES the Cinder we know
Sick ass music, cool. Also THAT is an interesting semblance...I guess he turns himself to metal? Also DAMN his aura broke after THAT? Hes a Huntsman...ah who cares. Again probably in Cinders memory more than anything. Which at this point is probably about as reliable as a coked up hookers.
SHANKED. Sucker. You shoulda seen THAT one coming.
And thats all it took to get the shock collar off. Lol. 
So what happened to the hotel? Did they just...write it off? I mean four people got murdered in there...
And now we’re back on the whale. HOW THE SCREAMING FUCK DID CINDER JUST...
Wow. She just got up after eating that blast. Fucking plot armor.
Merc making the hard calls honestly.  Im actually gonna watch all of this now which is nice because I want to know whats happening in the real world. PITY MORE THAN HALF THE EPISODE WAS THIS FUCKING FILLER.
I like how Cinder just...goes quiet the moment she realizes shes lost Mercury. Not that he was USEFUL mind you but if I had to guess she liked being the boss. But now shes...basically back where she started. 
So the whale is basically a ship. It has a bridge. Probably Salems throne room.
Man, Oscars literally just RTs punching bag this season isnt he? Literally in this case. 
His clothes are still scortched too which I find interesting.  The black eyes also staying. Auras not back up then? Aura repair and regen seems...werid half the time. Like RT does what they want with it.
Ah so someone finally says it...but at the same time what exactly does Salem have to fear? If she cant fight the whole world...what could they do? Maybe overwhelming her? It...Im having a hard time putting the “she cant be stopped” with “shes afraid of fighting all of Remnant”. 
Somethings missing here. I know it.
The sound of the “door” opening reminds me of the Flood doors in High Charity in Halo 3s Cortana. Fleshy twisting.
Mention from Hazel, but AGAIN...no details. I guess if you nail down how she can do stuff its harder to write? 
Glad someone made a comment on the futility of the Hunter academies. 
I really hate how Salems giving us creepy mommy shades. 
Hmm. So yeah the bridge IS the throne room/command deck. I like how Neo doesnt give a fuck is just casually kneeling. 
Ah okay THATS why he grabbed the scroll. 
Heh. Interesting. How exactly does this work I wonder. 
...Why does Salem have a ring. Has she always had that ring?
Neo looking at the Hound like “oh, I could ride this thing”. 
Oh cool the Ace Ops. And they’re arguing, shocker. Sounds like Elm doesnt trust tech either. No shock there.  Idiot.
Atlas elite. Yeah, right.
Huh, is this a Manta with landing gear? I guess they do have them...seems kind of silly to have them so high up though. I guess thats what the thing under the door is for, so they can deploy a ramp. Man, I really dont like Atlas’s airship design.
Hare needs some fuckin suppresants. 
Annnnddd...here we go, things go straight to hell. I was warned of this. I am going to try and not be mad...but from what Ive heard the incomptence of the military in this particular section is astronomical.
Huh. So...Grimm can be convirted into a rock-punching liquid? Interesting. Has that always been a thing or... Also why the fuck are you jsut standing there in awe, go kill the fucking thing! Fucking Specialists.
...that is all it took to get through Atlas’s shield? THAT?
I also love how no one does anything. Ironwoods like “wait what the fuck”. Come on bro. 
And...thats the Atlas navy. Everyone. Two lasers. One of which missed. Remind me again what exactly these things are used to shoot?
Wait, no, that took down part of it, and then the rest is, surprise, hitting the soft rock on the outside. 
THERE goes the shield. 
Hang on a second, how long have those giant squid things been there?
And...what. The whale just approaches, nothing happens? You’ve got 12 fucking ships there, shoot the fucking thing.
Again, WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING?
Oh, it just beach-headed. Okay fine, whatever. 
Im not really worried.
Lets see how RT makes this WORSE though...
And thats this weeks episode.
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Petekey Proof In FOB Songs
(I know I know, it's been over-done, but here's my input!)
DISCLAIMER!! I respect both Pete and Meagan's relationship and Mikey and Kristin's marriage. This is simply my interpretation of Fall Out Boy songs. If you don't agree with me then congrats! This is the wrong post for you :) For my fellow Petekey shippers: Lets rock and roll!
"Hum Hallelujah"
(I personally don't think this particular song is about Mikey but I've seen arguments made for it so I'll give it my best anyway)
"And you're someone who knows someone who knows someone
I once knew,"
- I kind of take this line to be about how over the years Pete and Mikey have lost contact but Pete still cares about Mikey and thinks about him after all this time and asks about Mikey to see how he is.
"And you are the dreamer and we are the dream
I could write it better then you ever felt it"
- Pete is hoping that Mikey still dreams of him and what their relationship could have been the way that Pete still dreams of Mikey like that, but he's saying he could write about their relationship better in his music then they ever could have had in real life.
"I thought I loved you, but it was just how you looked in the light
A teenage vow in a parking lot, 'til tonight do us part"
- Ouch my heart. Okay so during the summer, Pete thought he had fallen in love with Mikey, but after summer ended, he realized that what he and Mikey had was just a summer fling and that he didnt really love him. He had just gotten caught up in the glow of summer, hence "how you looked in the light". Teenagers are often more naive and quick to rush into things, so Pete is basically saying he and Mikey rushed into a relationship, a fling, that was doomed to fail, by switching out death, which means forever, with tonight, mirroring how their relationship was short lived but it was real while it lasted, hence the wedding vows.
"I love you in the same way, there's a chapel in a hospital
One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door"
- Chapels are in hospitals in case someone is close to death and the family wants to pray for them or something. I take this line to mean that Pete loves Mikey, but he knows that they're going to have to end their relationship, that its going to die, although he keeps hoping and praying that they don't have to. One foot in the bedroom represents how they are still in the relationship, but one foot out, meaning that its almost dead.
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meduise · 4 years
Note
Whats some of ur fav dino, dino/hibari hcs?
finally i could reply to this ask!! which, anon, i still thank you for bc its the best thing i could ever be asked to talk about ww
reading will likely take some time, but i hope you and whoever else reads this post will share some hcs or at least find them nice ad interesting enough! and of course, i’ll be happy to answer more asks about it!! like the hibari-only post, i may come back to this one and update it over time
general warning for death mentions and spoilers from the novel “haneuma stampede”!!
hopefully this post wont be hidden from the tag search
dino headcanons
until i read about haneuma stampede, i pretty much always headcanoned dino’s hometown being naples, and this because i have neapolitan origins myself www in the light novel we get to know that dino’s hometown is a port city facing the adriatic sea (east) hence the opposite coast to naples, since this town faces the tyrrhenian sea (west). because of this piece of information, tho, i started thinking dino could be from bari, apulia’s capital city
being that a self projection, im still attached to that hc, so to keep at least a part of it i gave dino neapolitan grandparents LOL i mean, it’s not unlikely anyway
this is a recent hc but dino has a huge crush on is a big fan of immanuel casto, a gay italian singer whose most songs are explicit or suggestive and provocative
i think we all can agree that romario is like a second father to dino, right? their bond gets even stronger after cavallone nono’s death ;; romario will occasionally drop his habit to call dino “boss” and call him with his first name instead. dino will remind romario quite often how important he is to him beyond his role as his right-hand man
What Do You Mean Dino’s Tattoos Magically Appeared On His Body When He Was Deemed The Worthy Successor,,, i (falls on my knees) hc’ed that getting them done took A LOT and hurt A LOT and he yelled A LOT to the tattoo artist to stop inking and to his family that he didnt want to belong to that world,,,, im sorry dino
his tattoo and his duty as a boss in general dont give him much freedom (or should i say they dont give him freedom at all) so among the other hcs of situations where he has to cover his left arm, i have this one where dino cant but go to the beach when its empty and/or at night so that no one can see him but his men
the years may pass but he will still blame himself for his father’s death. and i mean. its pretty much true that it was his fault orz thanks light novel for giving me depress
onto the personality-wise hcs,, i talked about hibari’s enneagram type so i cant not do that for dino too. dino is 2w1, which gets called the servant. starting with the basic type: depending on the level of health, the two (”the helper”) ranges from being the most genuinely caring and helpful type to other people to being the type who gives expecting to be given something back to being the type who manipulates people into caring about them. i dont believe dino has fallen or will ever fall into the very unhealthy pit but he does get on the level where he thinks his generosity is the only thing that tie people to him and his people-pleasing attitude starts getting suffocating. he can be quite possessive, too. in a few words, type one is a very principled type, who fears being defective, bad and corrupt. therefore i assigned dino the one wing to kinda enhance the following paradox: being what he hates the most, aka part of a rotten system such as the mafia one. and with a role as a boss, to it. dino as a teenager never wanted to succeed to his father, and even now he wishes he didnt belong to that world but he loves his family, and even tho according to the moral he deserves to go to jail together with his men, he is self-admittedly too much of a coward to do that (theres so much more to add to this but if i do it will get REALLY long. there’s going to be another little enneagram talk in the d18 hcs anyway, lol)
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dinohiba headcanons
these bitches gay good for them, good for them
advanced apologizes for being an angst fucker but for years my #1 headcanon has been a quite twisted one about dino and hibari not allowing themselves die by the hand of someone who isn’t each other’s. its a sort of oath. they feel like if one of them dies it will be unforgivable, and this will lead them to ultimately kill each other. in their mind, “it’s either both or none of them”, both know that they won’t be able to bear with the other being gone forever (yes, hibari too) and the only solution they find is leaving the world together, the same way they fought on it and against it together. the scenario i thought for this is a duel inside the reverse globe of needles. their last fight in hibari’s ultimate technique so that it’s literally just a world made of the two of them lol lol lol
tbh dino didnt like hibari at first, and with hibari being hibari it takes them long to warm up to each other. for long i mean some years w (years of anger, fights, hardship, trauma reveal, and so on)
their first bonding moment happens when hibari finds out about fon (yeah, all the stuff i talked about in my hibari hc post to which i have to add: i made my own timeline where the arcobaleno arc happens about 2 years later than shown in canon). dino is there to comfort him. dino hugs hibari and he lets him do. hibari cries. HIBARI CRIES for the third (3rd) time in his life there
i have this kinda specific hc of dino overhearing hibari sing hitoribocchi no sadame and getting sad about its lyrics
for obvious reasons even when they start dating they’re forced to spend most of the time away from each other but they make sure to be together at least on every anniversary
i love the established relationship trope so much therefore 80% of the times i think and write about them hibari is in his 30s and these two have been married for like 7 years 
i’ll get to the marriage proposal and ceremony another time hopefully in a fic too but of course romario and fon are chosen for their best men
idk if people consider ship playlists and such as hcs, but i associate savages by kerli and someone to stay by vancouver sleep clinic to them ;;
about someone to stay: the line will you fix me up? will you show me hope? is hibari -> dino, and the line can you keep me close? can you love me most? is dino -> hibari
and finally, to go back to the topic of enneagram: their compatibility according to their types. on the institute’s official site theres already a good description, which makes me cry everytime i go back to it because it literally starts with “These two types are more alike than they might appear to be at first”. part of this is given by the fact that unhealthy twos get the unhealthy traits of eights and healthy eights get the healthy traits of twos. i made a scheme for it:
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i admit that i have no proof that the comparison is legit for the wings too, but finding out the stress/growth correlation even for them was very validating and satisfying, lol
some headcanons are missing from this post bc i decided to post the most important and my fave ones (the fave ones are those asked for in the first place but i cant shut up ashdjsdhfdjsdhfg)
but either way OVERALL i really, really love imagining both dino and hibari overcoming their hardships, individually and together, becoming the better versions of themselves the more the years pass, bringing their best qualities to each other and learning to accept and appreciate their different points of view. 
because of the way they are at first they... dont really start good, but with health and trust they make a powercouple tbh
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claimingtheflame · 4 years
Text
Lincoln Trail Mental Health Facility Part 1
Once again I want to reiterate that a lot of these posts are diaries I wrote never finished. Some of them jump around in my life. The story is about something that took place several years after D left
I remember the moment I turned in the paper. It was nothing. The last question asked my thoughts on the final death of Juliet. I sympathize. To this day I do. Many people probably do. She ended her life because she was in the grip of a mythic tragedy. Who could walk away from such a fate?
Except. Even though this is exactly how I felt, my teenage brain did not yet have the skills to articulate this. I ended up writing something like "I feel what juliet did was right. The world is ugly and filthy and who wants to live in it without someone you love." Because I was an edgy goth kid.
This would send me into the clutches of my own sort of tragedy. A brutal, destructive storm began churning that friday that would completely knock me out of my stupid unlaced combat boots on monday.
It happened like this. I walked into first period, Biology. I sat next to Adam, my closest friend. A knock came shortly after the period started and it turned out to be a senior girl who wanted me to be escorted to Mrs Mudds office. I did not know who that was. It turned out she was a counselor. She had coppery hair and a long, perky, somewhat simian face.
In this story, there is a long list of incompetant people who should not have had their jobs, and possibly should have been in prison. Mrs Mudd is not one of them. As much as I dislike her to this day. Maybe she did really mean well. Maybe she was just swept away by the drama of the whole situation. This is Elizabethtown KY after all.
We talked for a few hours. Looking back, I really don't think I said anything to her that should have been construed that I was depressed or suicidal. We talked about a secret place I visited in the woods behind my neighborhood. We talked about various religious beliefs and about music I listened to. Either way, my mom picked me up from school and I was somewhat excited for the break-in monotony.
We have drove to Lincoln Trail Behavioral Health Center , and I really didn't know what was happening. I had friends who had gone, but I didn't really believe that's why we were there until I saw the look on my mom's face as we walked in. There was a serious feeling of betrayal then. Like God woman haven't you put me through enough. This was an unfair thought. My mother is the second person blameless in the story. I would find out later that basically everybody from my school was telling her I was planning on killing myself quite literally. Mrs. Mudd had apparently told them that the place in the woods was my planned spot to die. I had self-harmed in the past. It was all pleasure related though and I thought it had nothing to do with my mental health. Either way it had been months prior to this, but it added to the Snowball Effect.
I'll admit that I didn't really understand my own mental health at this age. I had just been released from D's clutches only a few precious years earlier. I had no clue what was going on. I was going through a suspended childhood in many ways. All that said, Lincoln Trail Behavioral Health System did not help or address any my mental health issues. Let me reiterate. Aside from some experimental self harm 6 months prior(I received counseling, was evauted, etc), at age 15 I was pretty well behaved. I rarely got in trouble. I certainly never acted disturbed. Lincoln helped nobody who actually went there. In fact I barely escaped with my life and sanity. This is not a dramatic statement. This was a terrible place, as you will learn.
I was obviously scared the moment I walked into this place, all the stories I heard. We were buzzed through a security door after a few accusatory last looks at my mother when I went in quietly. I heard if you resisted or yelled that they gave you a shot in your ass of some kind of sedative. I did not want to give anybody the satisfaction roughing up the goth kid and shooting them in the ass. This was a short-lived Triumph. I would learn quickly that this place was not for me and that there was some horrible mistake pretty early on . I was led to a room and told to take off my clothes down to my underwear. I was told to turn around in front of this guy, who nodded with approval after watching and told me to put back on my clothes. I was wearing really baggy SpongeBob boxers. I guess I could have gotten away with hiding something into the facility. That's the thing. I wasn't a f****** delinquent. Not yet or not anymore depending on how you look at the chronology of things I did as a teenager. Anyway I do remember a kind moment here. The guard escorted me down a hallway and a girl smiled at me brightly. "It's really not that bad here." She said. I smiled and shrugged. This was more of a kind gesture than I realized, I would find this out later.
I was then led to the office of the first real fuckup in this story. This would be my counselor. I don't remember her name. She was somewhat nice to begin with. I'll call her mrs. Wannabe because later she would read a bunch of poems about her Native American ancestry. This extremely blond, blue-eyed woman with a square German face and freckles. Me and Wannabe would talk for about 30 minutes and she would send me on to my actual psychiatrist. I do remember this man's name. I will never forget it. His name was dr. Kodali. We can call him King fuckup. Fuckup prime.
He was a small man, with a small mustache, and skin the color between a beet and a russet potato. He spoke in broken English. He asked me why I thought I was there. I told him about the paper I wrote. He smiled and said " yes we all say things we don't mean. " he asked me if I follow the rules at home. I said yes as long as they are within reason. He laughed at me and said " my own daughter thinks several of my rules are not within reason. Children come to learn to obey. " we did not talk about depression, and this statement would turn out to be significant in many ways. It would come to outline the failure of this institution to children who actually suffered depression. Which I will admit that back then I might have been suffering from. Certainly anxiety. But who doesnt, to some degree?
Let us frame our Shit Pit King with what I didnt know about him before I explain my own experiences. He received kickbacks for pushing certain medicines. This is an important detail. He had been accused on several occasions of over-prescribing meds. He was widely hated as a doctor, and I can't believe he still has a job.
During my first visit, he was mostly dismissive. Interrupted me and laughed at me often. He was mostly interested in my behavior. If I acted up. If I respected authority. Literally nothing about suicide was discussed. So why did this guy prescribe meds at the end of our conversation? He picked up the phone, called my mother, and gave her the dosage information. I narrowly escaped this medicine, whatever it was, due to a surprising hero figure in the story who we will discuss later.
He dismissed me and I was sent to "group" for the first time. This is nothing like "support groups" you see in Lifetime movies. It was a huge room, an obnoxious amount of desk chairs crammed in a circle. Boys on one side. Girls on the other.
I immediately dislike this. It feels tense, and I feel scrutinized. I try to ask a girl near me if I can use one of her pencils. She folds her arms and rolls her eyes. " I can't talk to him." She says to the ceiling. This gets the attention of the counselor of the group, who is actually just an early 20-somethings aide of some kind, there are a few of these. This one I call Nick neckbeard. He says " we are here to work on our problems, not to date. " I am immediately embarrassed. I definitely wasn't trying to date anybody. I let it go but it does set the tone.
Since I am the new kid, a round of introductions is done. Not a lot of these people are notable other than the fact that a lot of them are in here for drugs. Some are in here as an in-between stage between Juvenile Detention and Society. I get the distinct feeling that most of the boys are here for drugs and violent crime. I reflect bitterly that I am in here for writing a stupid paper.
There are several thug wannabe types, maybe two or three other white guys that aren't like that. One obvious skinhead as well. It's split in half racially. Five white Boys & 5 black. There was a round of introductions. Most were there for, as mentioned, substance abuse and violent behavior. The skinhead boasted of being in because he stuck foreign objects in his body. He stabbed himself with pens and various utensils. Another boy was in for desecrating graves. The girls were almost exclusively substance abuse. There was one Arab girl that was in there, and though she talked much I never quite understood why except that I knew she definitely needed to be in there. She either talked incessantly of sex or repeatedly told this story about a "bad doll" that lived in her house- all in broken english.
So this was the introduction to the place. Honestly yes, I would have problems with the other patients. That's really out of the scope of the story though. They are mental patients. What do you expect?
The true problem with Lincoln trail was its staff and overall structure. Such a problem was this structure that it would break me down to that kernel of a child you see on all the other stories on this blog. Such that Lincoln trail would reduce me again to that boy child whispering a question to the darkness: "Why am I being punished?" It would make me know, through recognition and reinforcement of abusive themes I was already familiar with, that I was not in a safe place.
The first night I felt this first blow through humiliation and guilt. It was a simple thing really. We were sent to bed. A corridor with a small basket on the outside of each door. A female counselor was pointing each of us down the hall to our rooms. When my time came, she pointed vaguely down the hall to the right side. I tried to ask for clarification and she shouted "Right there!" And my immediate reaction to being chastised like this was to go to one of the rooms with my belongings. She did not stop me.
I noticed one of the wooden bed frames(they were double rooms with single bathrooms) had no mattress. My roommate was a boy my age. He had close-buzzed haircut. He seemed politely surprised. I shrugged and got in the shower. When I turned the water off, I heard yelling on the other side of the door.
The boy was yelling angrily that he did not know who I was and that he had nothing to do with me. He was explaining that I came into his room unbidden and to no fault of his own. I dressed quickly and came out of the bathroom as soon as possible. A middle-aged blond woman grabs me by the arm and began leading me out of the room. When I asked her where we were going she did not say anything but tightened her grip and sat me down in a chair. This woman becomes important later. Five minutes later Dr kodali came into the office with my other counselor, both looking at me sternly.
I apologize for not knowing the exact words of the conversation. Basically the boy was supposed to have his room to his self. He was gay and had been known to have had sexual contact with other patients. They grilled me hard about whether or not I was gay and deciding whether I should be disciplined. Dr kodali somehow remembers that that my girlfriend had given testimony(positively) over my mental health and he seemed to leave it at that. The blonde lady didnt seem convinced.
When she led me back to my(actual) room, she took the liberty of going through my clothes and belongings. She confiscated basically all of my clothing, saying that it would distract patients(black jeans and tees...none of my flashier stuff). She confiscated my copy of Cannery Row, all my homework, and my shampoo. She really let off on me while doing this. Talking about how sneaky I was and if I was planning anything with Chester(the gay guy) that she would know.
This was Day 1. I would kneel beside the bed that night and pray(I just prayed to 'the goddess' back then), just to feel peace inside. I was so put-upon about the stupid clothes. They were my armor, in a way.
The next day would be a lot worse. I'd learn a lot.
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a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:
name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity
im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 
i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)
whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)
ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS
i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 
the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 
im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 
i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 
i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.
talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)
every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 
one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)
theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 
he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.
i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 
im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 
hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.
ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.
the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 
he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 
THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY
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Welcome to part five of our Monthly Guide to Monsters! My dear sweet  @quills-and-golden-ink and I have put together some quick and easy guides to some of the world’s most infamous creatures!
The guide will include: basic background, historical information, abilities, how to defeat them, and portrayals in media. My sets will also always come with Prompts!
For the Month of October, we will be posting two a week! I’m so sorry that I am so late for this one. Life has been a bit hectic. But no matter the date it is posted on, we promise it will be 2 a week for the rest of October, and two a month for the rest of the year. 
*Warning for graphic or gruesome depictions and retelling of violence*
Without further ado, we present to you all, the Monthly Guide To Monsters #5:
Witches
Definition: One who practices the art of witchcraft. Can be good, evil or neutral.
Definition of Witchcraft: There are many meanings or definitions given to witchcraft throughout the world and through many different cultures. In some beliefs, it’s a practice usually used for healing, in others, it’s a magical ability to do mystical things far beyond normal human capacity. In cultural anthropology, Witchcraft is usually defined as the innate ability to cause harm.
Description: Just like the definition, the description of witches changes across cultures. Many legends depict them as being physically indistinguishable from humans. They are often depicted as females in folklore, but more modern media has broken that line. In some (older)media, Witches were depicted as being rather grotesque humanoids, with large noses, warts and straw like hair. (*Disclaimer Edit*: I didnt add this before, because I found it unnecessary, but apparently it is needed. This old depiction of witches comes form anti-semetic propaganda. This description is extremely racist, but is no longer seen in modern media, so I did not think I had to advice people against doing it.)
Abilities: Depending on where you are looking, the abilities of a witch can change drastically. In some cultures, Witchcraft is purely a practice that requires hard work, education, potions or special ingredients, mystical objects and sacred words/spells/incantations. In other cultures, Witches have innate magical abilities where they need only to think of something in order for it to be done. Other cultures, and most forms of media, like to mix these two ideas. So usually Witches have or use the following:
Spells are a kind of incantation with strong magical power(Older spells are often in a foreign or ancient language rather then English, so it’s not uncommon to see a witch portrayed as speaking multiple languages)
Potions made from magical or mystical ingredients and can be used for a large number of things.
Witches are often shown possessing a large amount of knowledge about other magical creatures.
Levitation and flying
Witches are sometimes said to be able to disguise themselves through transformation magic, though the extent of the transformation depends on the lore. Some are just to look ‘more human’, others can fully transform into animals. 
Opening of portals to teleport
Some witches are said to control or communicate with certain aspects of nature, like animals, elements or the weather. 
Necromancy is usually more of a specialized practice, but it is said that some witches can raise the dead.
Demonology is a darker idea behind witches, it’s the idea that witches can and often summon demons from hell or trade their souls with demons in exchange for magic.
Healing. This is a magical art usually given to ‘white witches’, in which a witch is able to use their own or the life force of the wounded to heal some injuries or illnesses.
They are usually immune to human illnesses, diseases, and deaths. They have a stronger immune system and usually a prolonged life.
Witches usually have a familiar, a magical helper usually in the form of an animal.Familiars help witches with spells, potions, collecting ingredients, and even help protect their witch. Familiars are usually voluntary, but sometimes they are humans that have been cursed to live as an animal and serve the witch. Familiars are usually seen as cats, owls/birds, spiders, and rats.
Testing, curing and killing witches: As many know, Witches have a very long and dark history when it comes to their treatment. So many people who were more than likely to be innocent were tortured and killed in extremely gruesome ways.
Testing:
The ‘swim’ test. The victim was often tied with a heavy rope and weight tied around their waist and then tossed into a river or lake. It’s said that an innocent person would sink, but a with would float and bob a long around the surface. Almost every person subjected to this trial drowned to death.
The Prayer test. It’s said that witches were incapable of reciting the holy scripture. A witch on trial might have been expected to recite a line or two, but were expected to do it perfectly without any hesitation or mess ups. If someone failed at this test, it’s most likely because they were either illiterate, or too nervous to talk. It's said that some people even managed to do it without problem, only to have their success be waved off a ‘a trick of the devil’ and for them to be executed anyway.
All witches were said to have a unique mark somewhere on their body that could be in any shape, form or color. Examiners rarely didn't find a ‘witches mark’ because birthmarks, moles, scars, tattoos and sores could all be seen as being the mark of a witch.
The scratch and poke test. So, witches marks were said to be incapable of pain and bleeding. If an examiner could not find a witches mark, they would produce this test, using specialized or dull needles to poke around the accused bodies until they found a spot that produced the painless, bloodless results they desired.
Pressed. The accused would be lied down, and a wooden board would be put over them, then  heavy stones would be placed over it repeatedly until either they confessed to being a witch or they were crushed to death. Either way, they died.
The perfect Weight test. This one wasn't as common as some, but it still existed. Some accused would be weighed against a stack of bibles. If they weighed more than the bible's, they were a witch. If they weighed less than the bible's, they were killed. They had to weigh the exact same amount of the bibles. It was an impossible test to pass.
There was also many tests involving the accused victims, which were always faked as their victims would lie just to have the accused prosecuted.Witch trials were designed to always work in the favor of the ‘victims’, and the ‘Witch’ was almost always killed.
Killing of Witches: Because yeah, those were just the ways that accused were tested for being a witch. If that test didn't kill them, there were many other ways to do it. The most popular ways to kill a witch were:
Hanging
Burned at the staked
Real Life Witches:
Now witchcraft isn't just an old folktale. It’s considered a very real thing in many different cultures. Witchcraft was a real thing that many people actually did study and practice, many people still do. A more modern, well known descendant of witchcraft is the practice or pagan religion of Wicca
Wicca: A more modern pagan religion that while it draws on witchcraft, and has a good deal in common with it, is entirely separate. Many who practice Wicca do not consider themselves a witch, and vice versa.
 Wicca is a belief system, and a way of life that focus on peace, harmony and balance with oneself, humanity, and nature. 
Wicca is nothing like the old tales of witchcraft. The most stark difference being that old witchcraft was said to be to harm others, while Wicca not only avoids harming others, but strictly forbids the harming of innocent beings.
 Wicca is often rather specialized, and changes little features here and there depending on the individual coven or practitioner.
Studying and becoming a Wiccan is not quite as simple as many believe
To find more about the faith(and other sects of witchcraft) I highly suggest browsing around the web, in books, and through any willing Wiccan/witch consultant. Go with multiple sources, not just one or two in order to get the best and most in depth understand of the practice. To be clear, I myself spent many years studying witchcraft and I myself am wiccan. 
Witches in Media: Now over the years there have been a lot, and I mean a lot of media that focuses on witches. I’ve tried to arrange for you all a good range of some of the most popular witches in media.
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The Craft(Movie, 1996)
Hocus Pocus(Movie, 1993)
The Harry Potter Series(Books and Movies)
The Blair Witch Project(Movie, 1999)
Practical Magic(Movie,1998)
Halloweentown(1998)
The Crucible(Play by Arthur Miller, Movie; 1996)
Kiki’s Delivery Service(1989)
Bewitched(Movie;2005, TV show 1964-1972)
The Witches of Eastwick(1987)
The Wizard of Oz(Movie:1939)
Wicked(Book1995, Musical 2003)
Charmed(TV show 1998-2006)
Charmed(TV show 2018 reboot airing)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer(TV show, 1990s. Now I included this because although it’s not primarily about Witches, one of the main Charcters: Willow, is one of the most famous witches in modern media)
American Horror Story: Coven (TV show)
The Secret Circle(2011)
Sabrina The Teenage Witch(TV show 1996-2003, and there are rumors of a new,darker retake of sabrina coming soon to netflix)
Prompts:
“What are you gonna do, huh? Curse me again? I’ve spent the last three centuries with you, there’s nothing left for you to threaten me with” 
“Okay so, I think you gave me the wrong shopping list,?I don’t think the local grocery store carries dragons scales or fairy tears? They might have the pigs tongue though...”
“You love that cat more then you love me”                                                     “This cat has been with me, helping and protecting me for the last four hundred and twenty seven years. Of course I love him more then you.”
“We arent all bad you know. Look at me. You know me. I would never, ever hurt you. My magic isnt evil. It doesn't come from anywhere bad or dark. My magic is a gift. It comes from the earth. My magic can help you. Please just trust me about this.”
“You turn one person into a toad one time by accident over six hundred years ago and nobody ever lets you live it down!”
“I’ve been crushed, hung, stabbed, drowned in freezing rivers, crucified and burned alive. So go ahead, try me. Read all the weak, half-assed incantations you want. Call every priest in the state  Torture me all you want. You don’t scare me in the slightest. There’s nothing you can do to break me, I have endured worse for centuries.” 
Hope you enjoy, and find it useful :) 
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wydmariana · 5 years
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well hellooooo beautiful people !!  my name’s dani, i’m one of the admins on the main! i’m 20, i’m from toronto & i also play the hailey fc alanna !! i’m so fkn excited to have wealthy back up & running and to bring my baby mariana back ! she’s the same old girl and if you don’t know anything about her...everything u need is under the read more ! i rly need all the connections rn so like this & i’ll hit you up for plots !!!!
❛ new york’s very own mariana cavello was spotted on broadway street in  christian louboutin’s. your resemblance to selena gomez is unreal. according to tmz, you just had your twenty-third birthday bash. while living in new york, you’ve been labeled as being reticent, but also quixotic. i guess being a gemini explains that. three things that would paint a better picture of you would be fishnets, tequila shots, notebooks filled with lyrics. & ( cisfemale & she/her ) + ( dani, 20, she/her, est )
☇   ❪    ˚・゚ ❛ STATISTICS :
full name: mariana marisol cavello
nickname(s): mari
age: twenty three
date of birth: june 4th
hometown: new york city
current location: upper east side, new york city
ethnicity: half mexican
nationality: american
gender: cisfemale
pronouns: she/her
parents names: tanner hastings, liliana cavello
orientation: pansexual but she doesn’t like labels
religion: grew up catholic, undecided
political affiliation: democrat
occupation: singer/songwriter
living arrangements: lives in her own mansion in the upper east side
language(s) spoken: english, spanish
accent: american
face claim: selena gomez
hair colour: x (most basic/accurate/but it changes)
eye colour: brown
height: 5″5
weight: 120lbs
build: petite
tattoos: mostly selena’s canon, but x instead of the music note
piercings: x (both ears)
drugs/alcohol/sex: yes/yes/yes
pets: one cat, 5 years old, named sergio - x
astrological chart: gemini sun, cancer moon, scorpio rising
☇   ❪    ˚・゚ ❛  BACKSTORY/CURRENT :
mariana was born to tanner cavello (famous hotel owner, entrepreneur, multimillionaire, been on forbes, think bart bass) & lilliana cavello (hispanic model/socialite)
her parents marriage was very much settling, the two of them cared about each other & were excited to start their life together in effort to please their parents and keep their images pristine
they were quick to fall out of love though, if you could say they were even ever in it
once mariana and her brother became teenagers, their dad started having affairs with his employes, the hot, young ones of course. & their mom found out, but confided in a 16 year old mariana about her father’s actions
( sexual abuse tw ) this infuriated mariana, especially considering the hours she would spend waiting outside her father’s office doing homework while his business partners molested her in the empty conference room starting at the age of 14
she never told anyone about it, although she knew her father had known the whole time, remembering how many times he’d interrupt it by summoning his partners for work or a meeting
mariana began absolutely hating her father, while still yearning for his approval, & this went on for 4 years until she turned 18 and got revenge by sleeping with one of her dad’s business partners & allowing his wife to find out
so his wife threatened to tell the media about this little scandal, unless mari’s dad paid them off, which is exactly what he did but not before taking his anger out on mariana & blaming her for the whole mess
she has barely talked to her dad since & moved out right as that whole situation went down. she does her best to avoid family gatherings, doesn’t visit the house to see her parents too often. she does have weekly phone calls with her mom & tries to see her as often as she can, no matter how much she resents her
she got into the party scene around 17/18 as well, and became new york’s resident “wild child rich kid/socialite” in her teen years, so she has that reputation in the media still to this day
her parents have been rich as fuck since the day she was born, so she’s definitely a spoiled brat, never worked a day in her life, had daddy’s credit card whenever she needed it
music had always been a passion of hers though, being her favorite class in school(on days when she would actually attend)
so when she was 20, she started getting back into writing, sold a couple of her songs to artists like zendaya, the weeknd, etc
when she turned 21 she released her first single & album within the same year, began touring, and got to the top of the charts almost right away & gained a huge fanbase, whom she loves
she’s now 23 and has two studio albums out !! she’s v successful and happy w her music <3 she releases things very sporadically & im probs gonna  release random selena songs along with other voice claims maybe IDKDKKD hope yall dont mind  my  messy ass kskffsk
she works hard though, & loves writing and releasing music now and never wants to stop. it’s truly the thing that makes her most happy in the entire world and keeps her sane
☇   ❪    ˚・゚ ❛  PERSONALITY  :
mariana can be a brat, to put it simply. she thinks she’s always right about everything & it’s rare you’re ever gonna get an apology from her when she’s done something wrong (unless she really cares about you which….)
she’s lowkey a softie, bc of her cancer moon tbh. she tends to get herself into relationships and then mess them up for the sake of it or because she stops trusting herself to be in the relationship at all
but when she loves someone, she LOVES them, like w every fibre in her body u know?
and she cares fiercely about people, it ends up being a problem for her a lot of the time
she hasn’t worked through her trauma & probably never will, she bottles that shit up tight & doesn’t let anybody know it’s there. the only way she’s ever opening up is if she’s writing, cause she wants that shit to be real
but she’s still gonna hoe it up, catch her in the club trying to get some dick for the night, u know what i mean?
super depressed if we’re being real here. she’s sad, and she has abandonment issues because of her dad. so her mindset is- there’s no forming attachments, because everyone leaves me anyway
( drugs tw ) she loves cocaine, is most definitely an addict (but who isn’t in this city), tequila is her alcohol of choice, but she’ll drink anything you give her & weed is her creative saving grace
she started popping pain pills on her 21st birthday, opioids occasionally & mostly xanax, stuff like that, is most definitely also addicted to those
we love a bitch who doesn’t care about her health!
her management team frowns upon it, but she does smoke cigarettes pretty often, but mostly only when she’s stressed
mariana’s the type of bitch to call the paparazzi on herself, she loves attention. but with her music career now it’s been 10x harder for her to keep her life private, not that she cares. but at least she doesn’t have to call the paps on herself anymore lol
she thinks it’s important to treat people w kindness and respect, but no doubt she’ll be ready to fight a b*tch if she has to…
catch her at any protest that involves saying “fuck you trump”
her instagram is a big mix of stories of her cat, dumb selfies, ig model posts, her friends, career stuff & political posts. she’s very active on the gram & snapchat lol
honestly thank U for reading this trash if u didnt…i understand. catch her pinterest board for more here & i have a wanted connections page here ! ok bye i love u, plot w me <3
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