#i do not encourage real life incest

[stardust-falling]

fandom psa; there is nothing whatsoever that is inherently "problematic" about shipping characters who are "found family."

Adoption is not found family. A blended family is not found family. A found family or chosen family is a group which, through circumstances or simply mutual affection, hold their relationship to one another with equal care and importance as family members ought to. It's not the same type of relationship.

It's not incest. It's not even pseudo-incest unless you want it to be. I personally don't care what people ship, but I'm absolutely tired of people misusing the term "found family" to just recreate the idea of a nuclear family and force those roles onto the entirety of a fandom. Sure, maybe characters who are found family may view themselves like siblings, or like a parent and child or aunt and niece, but they might also just see each other as friends-- and guess what? romantic partners too! That's technically the most widely-accepted form of found family/chosen family there is!

The whole point of found family/chosen family is to have the importance of "family" on relationships that lie outside the commonly-understood bounds of that relationship. Not to recreate the "mommy-daddy-daughter-son" dynamic with unrelated characters and use that headcanon or fanon dynamic to enforce your own morality or preferences on other fans.

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

Wish it was possible to create a story with siblings who have a very important bond and care more deeply about each other than anyone without people being like. Weird about it.

Wish I could comfortably put out my stories where deep familial bonds are some of the biggest driving forces WITHOUT PEOPLE BEING WEIRD ABOUT IT.

I just want to make stories about siblings!!! About families!!! Biological, adopted, found. Anything! Without! People! Being! Weird!!!!

[artemisdesari-blog]

Sometimes being the mum who exists in fandom spaces leads to awkward, even concerning, conversations. Such as the one which happened this morning. The mum of my daughter's best mate asked me if one of their mutual friends had sent her a specific message. This message was a link to a fic on ao3, if this had been a G rated fic this conversation would not have happened. It was not G rated. It was an E rated fic. Our kids aren't even 12 yet. As it happens, both of our kids have their internet access heavily locked down and monitored. They have phones because of how their school manages homework. The mutual friend, however, is not so monitored. Or she wasn't, given what her mum found she's about to be. This kid had found a fandom, joined it, and found it chock full of antis. The fic had been sent to her by one of them as an example of the sort of terrible people out there who need to be harassed and attacked because they wrote a smutty story.

Someone thought it was appropriate to send written porn to an 11 year old to encourage her to attack the author.

This resulted in a very awkward conversation where I had to explain to multiple horrified parents the anti culture that is becoming so prevalent. The fact that there are adults who use that purity message to groom kids. The way they escalate and how it bleeds into real life. One parent told me she'd wondered why her 14 year old was suddenly concerned about the two year age gap between her parents. The more I explained, the more absolutely ludicrous it sounded and the more baffled these poor mums looked. More than once I was told "but the characters aren't real, it's really weird but it isn't hurting anyone". Which is the point. The fictional situation isn't hurting anyone. The person who sent porn to an 11 year old is.

Was the person who sent it the author? Doubtful, that thing was tagged in the extreme. Was the person who sent it an adult? Almost certainly. The parent who's child received the original message has found more concerning stuff and gone to the police, but from the language the person doing the sending was in the US. We aren't. Did my daughter receive it? No, she isn't interested in that fandom and therefore wouldn't have bothered with it. Is this the fault of the author? No, they didn't send the link, they didn't ask to be harassed, they wrote a story and put it on ao3, the website created in response to rampant censorship and designed to allow for all kinds of fiction. Is this the fault of the parents? Partially, they should have been looking at their daughter's internet use and clocked what was happening sooner. Is this the fault of the child? No, she's 11, she didn't know better.

This has been a difficult day. Multiple parents have had their eyes opened to parts of fandom culture they had no idea existed. And the thing of it is, they aren't concerned about the why of anti rhetoric. They don't care about the adults writing about teens or rape or incest or torture or any of the rest, because they looked at the clearly tagged and rated fics and figured that it worked the same as a warning on any streaming service. They only cared because some utterly vile individual decided to expose their child to something this girl might not have looked at for years.

Proshippers did not cause what I have spent afternoon helping several sets of parents navigate. Antis did. Normally I'm fairly quiet about the whole debate because I just want to get on with my life and share my experiences. Today I got dragged into that mess in my every day life and the adults in the equation didn't react the way Antis like to think they would. They didn't condemn the author. They condemned the anti who shared the work with a preteen.

[howdoesagrapewrites]

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐰𝐬 𝐕 ✴️

Taglist: @faespace @baellabass @ejs398

Plot: Imagine being the legitimized bastard of Daemon Targaryen, and having a very devoted family.

Cw: incest/targcest, yandere/lovesick behavior, unhealthy relationships, platonic and romantic yanderes, not everyone is romantically involved with reader, yandere EVERYONE x reader, sexual content, no actual smut, mentions of noncon

>Alicent and her children had been guarding your sleep the whole night, the night of the king's passing

>Aemond saw his mother just observe you while displaying an unreadable expression, he prides himself with being able to decipher people and use it to his benefit, but this time, his mother seemed out of reach to him. If he had to guess, she was attempting to treat you like a pawn, trying to dehumanize you to gain control over the political situation, and she was failing

>For his part, his thoughts while observing you, were much tainted he was watching your chest rise with every breath, examining your boobs and how they would slightly change shape when you laid on your back, much rounder. He would love if his mother and sister left to grope and caress, even just over the cloth, even for just a minute. Just a minute to smell your skin, your natural scent now free of the perfumes you would wear to fit in court

>He would love to have a minute, but he wants a whole life, Aemond is sure not even growing old with you would leave him satisfied, he would look for you again

>He wondered what would you think of him, he has a plethora of fantasies depending on your reactions. The most obvious one, disgust. He would cage you his his arms, hold your wrists with one hand while using the other to rid you of the bothersome clothing, sucking and biting at your neck, then your niples. You resist, but he is able to bring you pleasure regardless, some of your screams turn into moans and by the time he's kissing below your navel and starting to use a finger to play with your slit, your pleas of "no" and "please do not" are almost automatic, you do want him to go down on you, but you continue to chant the words as if to preserve what's left of purity

>But that fantasy would soon get old, he wished to exert power over you, yet have you willingly submit

>If you could only look at him the same way that you used to while consoling him over his lack of a mount

>Helaena was there as well, Jahaera and Jahaerys had been brought by her, but taken to bed by the maids in no time

>Helaena sung intelligible songs while playing with the threads in-between her fingers, for the little audible parts, Aemond heard the songs speak of dragons, swords, fire and blood

>His mother had arranged for Aegon to usurp the throne, he would never say this out loud, he knows his brother is a usurper, but he encourages this, as he wants the strong bastards away from the line of succession as one can be. Better off dead, but that's too much to ask

>Everything was in place, except for the king. Aegon was missing, «of course Aegon was missing» he thought

>Otto wanted to send ser Criston to find him, but Alicent protested it would leave you alone. They went back and forth until Otto said they would entrust Daeron with your guard. Aemond rolled his eye.

>Helaena had left without him noticing, possibly to mother the twins and whatnot

>He was in his mother's chambers, Otto alongside her, discussing the future of the realm. «This is the real small council» he said to himself

>"I will find Aegon, mother" said Aemond

>"That is already taken care of, Ser Criston will not rest until-" Otto spoke

>"He doesn't know where Aegon is, I do"

>"Then speak at once, boy" Aemond grimaced at the words of his grandsire

>"I am not to speak, I am to search, this is matter that requires involvement" he paused "But I want something"

>"We shall send Ser Criston, you will join if he fails"

>"And waste all that time? He may be as well as dead halfway through ser Criston's crusade"

>"Name your prize" Otto replied, breathing defeat in every syllable

>"You will hear it after" Aemond saw Otto arch an eyebrow and open his mouth to speak "Do not worry, I have no interest on the crown, or land, or titles, I would have acted before had been that my goal" His mother urged him to speak, but he had to remain silent, he was sure she would understand

>Him and the royal guard were underdressed in rags to blend in, Aemond wore a cape to cover his silver mane

>He had to endure the obnoxious Cole knocking on every brothel door like he was a lost peasant

>He was very uncomfortable when he found the madam of that one place, staying stiff and shivering under his cold facade

>He thanked the seven you could not see him like that, weak

>Once they found the White Worm, she said the prince would be handed over a ridiculous sum that they bargained

>But before they could leave with Aegon, he remembered something. The White Worm weaves silk through far and wide in the realm. The White Worm who is the paramour of the prince of the city, the White Worm that could have been your mother

>Aemond would order extra vigilance on you that night, while Misarya was known to be a slimy, untrustworthy woman, she had never been known to betray Daemon, or to betray gold for that matter, and Daemon was not going to skimp on you

>He had to say he was anything but surprised when he learned of that idiotic scheme of his brother to leave the city. Aemond imagined he'd waste his small fortune on whores as soon as he arrived, feast with men who are just waiting for him to surrender his better judgement to a glass of wine, then steal whatever is left. He always thought Aegon would likely die with his pants on his knees, possible covered in vomit and other fluids, choking on a chicken bone, or something as meaningless as a cherry pit, his women would steal his gold and he'd die slowly, lonely, pathetically, he had to say the idea did not displeased him too much

>But then, he could only cash his prize if he retrieved him, in one piece no less

>Aegon had returned, being almost locked up in his chambers, and the death of Viserys continued a secret to the world until the preparations for Aegon's ascension were finished. By the third day, the corpse of his father started to stink, he had already been rotting in life, and death was not stopping that. He looked at the king, he found him graceless, he had nothing, he was an absent king and absent father, Aemond would do better if he had the chance

>A couple hours after Aegon's arrival, you had woken up, almost immediately you were taken from your room and (to your perspective) randomly put on another, the maids insisted it was for your safety, and you decided to not waste a breath asking them questions that were for someone else. You wanted to see Alicent, and you wanted to see Viserys

>No one would give you answers, and you had no way of communicating with your family, not your father or even your family in the castle, for that matter, you only had ser Criston as a form of familiarity, not even your usual maids were to be seen anywhere. Even though you did not wish to think of it, it was probably because Aegon had chosen them to place his "affections"

>The second night you were awake and isolated, you commanded sir Criston to come into your room and talk to you, give you whatever detail of information he had. He refused again and again, with excuses of how he answered to the queen only, how he was to the door to protect you, how it was improper

>But he ended up giving in

>He told you all he could say, was that the king had died, and that now a conflict of ink and ravens was arising

>You wept the lost of your uncle, and (awkwardly) ser Criston put a hand on your shoulder, ghosting over it. And he told you to fear not, you were in good hands

>You wanted to believe him, you did

>Back to Aemond, he had come to speak with his mother as soon as he was done arranging your room transfer. He felt accomplished by commanding, especially when commanding for your well-being. Alicent knew what Aemond would ask for, and she had tried to ready herself to hear it

>"I want lady Y/N, wed her to me" he did little to stop the smile growing on his lips

>Alicent could have said many things, but she just asked her son one thing. "Do you understand the consequences, Aemond?"

>He nodded, he did not care, if the consequences of taking you were fire and blood, so be it. Never in the seven kingdoms had existed a more lovely lady, and Aemond was only blind in one eye

>He wanted to marry her before Aegon's crowning, and he had threatened to get the supreme septon to do it in secret if he had to, he was smart, and knew it was just a matter of time before Daemon and Rhaenyra caught wind of everything, and he will not lose you

>Daeron had come to face him, Aemond never thought he had the balls to do it

>Whining about his lack of honor, how he was stealing their cousin, dragging them when she was practically engaged to him already

>Aemond let his anger simmer, he smiled while the boiling blood warmed his body, the delicious liquid reminding he was alive, he lived for the taste of rage, his or from others

>"Worry not, little brother, you can now take your vows as a white cloak, so you can become my wife's sworn sword and stand behind her door when she and I share our bedchamber"

>Daeron reached for his sword, he did the same

>"Uh uh, are you sure?" He teased while Daeron seemed on the verge of tears (sadness, ire, who knows)

>His younger brother simply walked away from him, in shame

>You were losing your mind in confusion, and no tantrums from you were enough for the servants to let you leave your chambers to visit Viserys' corpse

>So imagine your surprise when the maids came with shiny new silks, to dress you for your wedding day

>Two ladies, one named Olivya Swann and one named Celesse Hightower, announced themselves as your new ladies in waiting. They said your measures were needed to confect a wedding gown for you, you refused to strip until they spoke and told you what was going on, you felt bad for them, as they were clearly not the ones to blame for the mayhem

>It took a while, the maids genuinely did not know much, the orders came from above and they obeyed. But it was Celesse who finally broke down. They were sent to aid the preparations for your wedding to prince Aemond

>You had to sit down on the bed, your head was spinning around, now there was nothing to do, you were a prisoner in King's Landing. And it was easy to put two and two together, they were not planning to bend the knee to Rhaenyra, and you were there as a pawn in their twisted game of chess

>You yelled at the women to leave you alone, and despite their attempts to calm you down, you ordered them to go. You knew they would come back later, but you simply could not stand there like nothing was happening

>How could Alicent allow this? If they wanted to marry you to the greens, why Aemond? It was clear you and Daeron had far more in common, and comments were made about betrothing you to him, why Aemond?

>Aemond was cruel, and you could never decipher what he wanted from you, he took pleasure on hurting your family, and you were further perplexed on why would he want to marry a bastard

>Maybe he was being forced to marry you too, it would have made you almost sympathetic if it were not for his previous actions

>You tried to sleep, you layed fully dressed on the bed without covering yourself with the blankets

>You dreamt of nothing, and were awaken once again by the maids looking to measure you

>They came in, and helped you undress as to avoid the measures be altered by the thick of your clothing

>You were sleepy and docile, allowing them to carefully place the meter in your waist, bust, hips and shoulders, they also measured your arms

>Olivya presented you with squares of several luxury fabrics, one stack was several shades of white, and the other was a similar amount of shades of green.

>You did not let the opportunity slip, this would probably be the one choice you would have on your marriage

>You made your ladies show you each and every square of fabric, you took all the time in the world. Finally, the chosen ones were pearl white with emerald and laurel green. The colors reminded you of your dragon, you missed him so much, but the gods only know where he could be, he was too large for the dragonpit and therefore set free, he would have come to your calling once you left with your family, that was what was supposed to happen

>You spent three more days locked away, at least you had Olivya and Celesse now. Celesse came from Oldtown, she was the daughter of Hobert Hightower, you made her tell you stories of Daeron, as you were unable to see him. You fondly smiled when thinking of him, your dragon knight

>Olivya was from the stormlands, but she had been raised in King's Landing, as her uncle was serving in court, and she was brought to keep company to princess Helaena

>You told them of Pentos, then of Dragonstone, you told them of your little brothers, so small and cute, you also told them about dragons, you told them about your home, in all its meaning

>Three days after the measuring, the wedding gown was ready, you were amazed, and wondered how many people had been working in full speed in order to complete such an intricate piece in so little time. There was pearls and little gems embroided in the translucent sleeves, a green dress, a beautiful Hightower green dress

>Celesse spoke highly of your soon-to-be husband, telling tales of his skill with the sword and his intelligence

>Olivya told you you would enjoy married life, that the prince was a fine suitor with "admirable manners"

>You remained silent, luckily, your saddened face was covered by a white veil

>What you saw could hardly be called a ceremony, there was Alicent, Aemond and a septon. You slowly walked towards the altar, and recited the vows you had learned when fantasizing as a little girl, none of your fantasies happened this way

>Like always, Aemond was unreadable, and you did not care to try to read him anymore

>There was no feast, no celebration, nothing remotely similar to the wedding ceremony of a prince

>Like everything around the castle, it was rushed, poorly done and with second intentions behind it

>You struggled to look at Alicent, she was dear to you once, but now you debate whether should you trust her

>During the dreaded wedding night, you expected Aemond to humiliate you, to take you by force and call you names, to degrade you

>Anxiety pooled in your stomach, and your eyes burned as you tried to hold tears in

>But instead, he kissed your hand and laid next to you, not even touching you

>You must disgust him, he was forced to marry you, and he has no interest in you, you thought you found yourself in the position of Rhea Royce

>But you could speak plainly to Aemond, you always had

>"An unconsummated marriage can be easily annulled" you pointed out

>"You don't sound at all aroused with the idea, you appear hardly seductive" Aemond replied

>Aemond sat down on the bed, you copied him

>"I am not Aegon, I found screams for help less than enticing. Besides, you would never love me if I raped you" he stated as if he was talking about his day

>"Who says I love you now?" Maybe you should have not been so bold, but you were

>"We are married, you'll learn to do it eventually"

>"As humble as ever. Then let me ask why I should I love you, and you are free not to"

>"I love you, Y/N" you could feel the scorching heat coming from his eye, the sapphire shone in the candlelight. You were speechless, it would have been hard to believe if he wasn't gazing at you so intensely, he carefully took your hand in his

>"You have not acted as such" was the only thing you thought to answer

>"I am not Daeron" your eyes widen in shame. It is not unfaithfulness, yet shame makes you feel as if it is "But again, you have not treated me like you treated Daeron, have you?" He knew what he was doing to you

>"He never called me a bastard"

>Despite the topics of conversation, you both remained calmed, vulnerable in the cocoon of the sheets, your hand was still intertwined with his

>"Neither have I" he squeezed your hand a little

>"But you continue to humiliate Jace, Luke and Joffrey for it"

>"And I paid with my eye. And with you" you look at him confused after he says that, so he continues "After I bonded with Vhagar, you pushed me away, you never forgave me for it"

>"You never asked for forgiveness"

>"And I will not, not for what I did, but perhaps the way I did it"

>You and your husband talked for what it felt like days, for what it felt like years of lost time

>By the hour of the nightingale, you felt like you married one man and now lay with another. Despite his hardened exterior, you now smile at Aemond the way you did once when you were children

>"We still have time to make this wedding night exciting, my lady wife" he smiled mischievously, you looked at him with slight distrust, hoping he was not expecting sex after all that heartfelt talk "would do me the honor of flying with me?" You smiled

>"Dagahrion is not here"

>"There's plenty of room in Vhagar, I ride the largest dragon in the world"

>"You clearly have not seen mine lately" you teased

>"I suppose we'll have to clear that matter once he returns"

>You dressed up and sneaked into the dragonpit, this kind of mischief made you think of happier days, made you forget about the mess

>You missed Vhagar, she used to be Laena's, and she remembered you

>You rode with Aemond until sunrise, in that moment it was just the three of you. No marriage, no usurpation, no conflicts, nothing but the wind in your faces

>Until you had to come back, and you found the preparations for Aegon's coronation being set in place

>"This is outrageous, disgraceful, illicit! This is simply- this is bullshit, Aemond!" You shouted to him once alone "Aegon will be the worst king since Maegor and you know that"

>"I am not the one who sat him on that throne, don't you shout at me for it"

>"It's true, but you are not doing anything to stop it, Rhaenyra should be crowned"

>"Of, course, then Jacaerys Strong can become protector of the realm" he snickered sarcastically

>"May his father be Ser Harwin, Laenor or the damn mushroom, we are sure he is of Rhaenyra and that is what matters"

>"If he was born of Rhaenyra's husband then it truly would not matter if his sire is mushroom or whoever may he be, he is a bastard"

>"So am I! Appoint me leader of the bastard council If you want, because I will defend his claim to the throne, Rhaenyra is the heir and you and I know Aegon is a depraved drunk"

>"Bastard or not, you are my wife, and I will not argue anymore, you are mine now. And when you are called, I want you pretty and smiling when witnessing his coronation, because your husband says so" you had not even realized when he had caged you against the wall, his eyes burning with rage. No trace left of the man you spent last night with

>"Yes, my prince" was all you said. He nodded, kissed your forehead and left the room

>Your father used to call the court "the nest of vipers" and now you understand, the only way to survive was playing their game

>You called in for Olivya and Celesse. Told them to dress you and arrange you to attend Aegon's coronation

>You were pleasant, smiling when you had to, staying right at your husband's side, one may think of you as tame

>You even let Aemond fancy himself your hero, standing before you when Meleys interrumpted the ceremony

>Rhaenys looked at you, you knew she could not steal you away from this, so in her eyes, you imagined her apology

>You decided you will come back to your family, and so, after Aegon's coronation, you told Alicent you needed to go to the Sept, being so throughly shaken. As Aemond said you needed to be guarded all day long, you asked for Daeron to accompany you. Aemond would have never allowed it, but Aemond was not there, he was with the small council talking about recruiting the loyalty of different houses

>Once in the Sept, after praying, you looked at Daeron, it pained you to ask

>"Do you love me, Daeron?"

>"You are married to my brother, my lady"

>"We know what happened. And I did not ask you that"

>"It is improper for us to talk this way"

>You felt rejected, but once again asked "Do you love me, Daeron?"

>"I do" he bashfully responded

>"Enough to run away with me?"

>"Don't make me choose between honor and love"

>"I fear I have to"

>"Enough to run away with you"

>"Then meet me at the dragonpit at the hour of the bat"

>"Y/N, please-"

>"I will run regardless, but I would rather you are with me"

>You rose from your knees looking at him

>He came closer, your lips were near, but not touching, you could feel his breath

>"Kiss me once we're far away, do whatever you desire then" you say before leaving the Sept

>You decided to wait in the library until it was time to go, on your way, ser Criston asked if he could scort you there, you were reluctant, but skillfully lied and said it would be a pleasure

>"My lady, may I speak plainly to you?"

>"You have my permission"

>"I saw you asked for prince Daeron to accompany you in your prayers. Please don't look for him, he loves you, my lady" he made a melancholic pause, and again, his hand ghosted over your shoulder, his face close to yours "And noble ladies only run away with the knights in tales and songs"

>"I understand"

>Ser Criston's words left you with a strange feeling, he seemed sincere, did he know something you did not? Maybe you should wait before running, maybe you should find a better way to do it

>But you remained firm, and slipped out of bed once Aemond was asleep

>You went to the dragonpit, singing to the dragons, and hoping for Dagahrion to come back, if not, you'd have to leave on Tessarion

>You heard steps, thinking it was the dragonkeepers, you hid

>"Riñaaa~" you heard Aemond's voice, and you feared. You don't know if he would be capable of doing you harm, but you'd rather keep wondering

>His voice kept chasing you, in a mocking tone

>Until he finally found you

>You were a the center, and you felt the gazes of the dragons, but by far the fiercest one was Aemond's

>He pressed you against the wall, his sword unsheathed

>His body was pressed against yours, you felt him practically vibrating with wrath

>"I have wanted you for years, yet I held back, I was patient and devoted, and you run away at the first chance you get" he spat

>"I guess we had a rocky two-day marriage" if you were dying, you were doing it with your head high

>"I should have broke you, but I was a fool" it was all tension, you did not know if he would snap, or when would he, and kill you or gravely injure you

>He grabbed your face with his sword still pressing and threatening to break your skin

>He kissed you roughly, like he wanted to mark you as well as harm you, like he was tasting both heaven and steel

>When you were recovering your breath, you spoke "will you slay me?"

>"I will take you back and treat you like the backstabbing bastard cunt you are, the way I should always have" you knew this was probably the last time you will be like this, unbroken, whole

>You missed him back, tasting all the poison inside him, it was messy, rough, teeth crashing, you took him like he was your last breath. You were just saving courage

>All that could be heard was your labored breathing, Aemond's sword never moving. You felt an ache in your chest, you were scared. You wished for the mother, the celestial mother, the one that never left you, unlike every other woman you had though of as a mother. You wished for your father, although violent and rude, unpredictable and sour, he loved you with his whole heart, body and soul

>Maybe you were just going to make a fool of yourself, you hoped so, that Aemond would just laugh at you

>You took a breath of the second-hand air, smoky and anything but clean, and when your lungs were full, you screamed so loud your throat felt raspy

>"Dracarys!"

>Dragons obey their masters, and Dagahrion was not here, so it would work, supposedly

>The last thing you saw was the startled face of your husband when all the dragons around you spat scorching hot fire and burned both bodies

>Less than an hour later, prince Daeron found your remains. Some dragonkeepers said your voice commanded all the dragons to attack, others say that it was impossible, that it must have been Vhagar trying to kill you by Aemond's command, accidentally getting caught in-between

>The death of lady Y/N Targaryen, daughter of prince Daemon Targaryen, [allegedly] at hands of her own husband, Aemond Targaryen made the dance of dragons a conflict of fire and blood

[aimfor-theheart]

Why is it that dc such as r@pe, sa, and incest is totally okay to write about and romanticize but y’all draw the line at racism, fat phobia, and homophobia *talking about the writings creators make, not personal beliefs*? Whats the difference between these things? All of them are hurtful and affect people in real life, so why is everybody on here choosing and picking one and not the other? Do writers on here think that they are not comparable or that one is okay to romanticize and the other is going way too far?

Im just genuinely curious as I have seen this topic be brought up again and again, which has made me realize this and Id like to see it from someone else's pov.

hi! there is a lot to answer and unpack here and i have every intention of doing so underneath the cut. forgive me if this gets long, but you’ve asked me 4 very massive questions that i think warrant detail, nuance, and thought. there is a lot i’d like to say here.

that being said, mind the content warnings and protect yourself.

cw: mentions of rape, incest, racism, homophobia, fat phobia, discourse in general

firstly, i am going to choose to give you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you are actually curious in hearing another side and you are not simply looking to stir a pot or pick a fight with beliefs you have no intention of changing or having an open discussion on. your accusatory tone in the first half indicates otherwise and kindly, i am not an idiot. but i want to earnestly talk to you about this and again, will think better of you than you perhaps have indicated you think of me.

secondly, you do not have to censor words like rape in my inbox. that sort of censorship has become wildly popular because of tik tok and other money-hungry social media that also desperately want to silence people. do you know why you have to censor words like that on tik tok? or words like genocide? suicide? racism? 1. so that they can make money and market and push their squeaky clean algorithms but 2. and perhaps worse, so they can silence victims. if social media platforms and capitalism and the systems of powers had it their way, you would never utter these words again—whether to call someone out for justice or to have an open discussion like this one. i encourage you greatly to think critically about this and how you choose to use censorship and why.

now, to your questions.

to preface, i am interpreting this ask as being anti-dark content in fiction as you state that ALL these subjects harm people in real life. or at least, you are being critical of all dark content in fiction and the way writers engage with them, effectively ‘picking and choosing’ which are deemed acceptable and which aren’t, when they are all hurtful. i apologize if that wasn’t your intention/what you believe, but regardless, i’ll endeavor to answer you.

i personally have drawn no lines about dark content nor spoken about any of these topics specifically really, which indicates to me you have a different narrative and/or are coming from more inflammatory arguments that are always circling fandom lately. in the post i most recently reblogged, i spoke mostly of violence. which, of course, all of those things can be. but i didn’t name one of those topics in particular.

regardless, i don’t believe in the censorship of any dark content in art, but rather advocate strongly for critical analysis on a case-by-case basis. in general, i encourage thinking critically about every aspect of the world around you.

i do not believe that rape, incest, and sa are okay to write about or create art about but racism, homophobia, and fat phobia are not. i believe all of those topics are ones that can, should, and will be explored in the safety of art. all to varying degrees of success, earnestness, impact, and intent. you’re right that these are real things, that can hurt people, and the fictional work about them can have impact on our society that is tangible but the actual art or fiction created is not real. and again, this is all to varying degrees on a case-by-case basis.

art and fiction also historically and massively do discuss these dark content topics and have actively swayed the public’s opinion on matters, whether for better or for worse. throwing away all dark content in art and fiction because it is ‘harmful’ is deeply, deeply dangerous and reductive. a lot of art that engages with dark content actually makes very succinct points about it—i think of vladimir nabokov’s lolita or octavia butler’s bloodchild or speak by laurie halse anderson.

this is where we must exorcise critical thinking. some pieces of work will handle dark content poorly—white saviors making art on racism. men making art about a woman’s experiences that (as you are so interested in) romanticize her pain. etc. etc. and some art will handle it’s dark content incredibly and be transformative, perhaps even revolutionary in how we talk, perceive, or acknowledge systems of oppression, violence, and dark content in this world. some dark content in fiction will have damaging beliefs and effects on society, some will not—we must also look at scope for this, at the writer perhaps, the historical moment, their audience etc.

(for example, there is a significant difference in a main stream male writer, writing of a woman’s experience with rape in a published book in a way that makes it sound romanticized, sold to thousands and thousands of general public vs. a woman using fanfic to explore rape, take control of it, or whatever in a fanfic for a small online community where there are warnings on it. indicating she is aware of its potential damage in a way her male counterpart is not…)

but i still believe in dark contents’ existence in art. of course there is differences between all of these topics you brought up, but i don’t think their differences matter in this answer. i believe in their right to be explored in art. i am talking broadly of media/art here, which i think is the more relevant conversation, but i think you are actually more interested in a much smaller scale of people. ie. fandom. ie. mostly marginalized people in small communities online writing and creating dark content.

people will choose and pick which ones they’d like to create art over and which ones they don’t, which ones they read and which ones they don’t. there’s no ‘hard line’ drawn anywhere. and i can’t control it and neither can you. perhaps you think violence is okay to be explored in fanfic, but racism isn’t. someone else will have different preferences. i do not believe in its censorship.

now, let’s move onto your interest in romanticization and what i think you are more pointing to, which is fandom. you are specifically referring to people in fandom who write about rape, incest, etc. and ‘romanticize’ it—ie. they write about it in a way that is a fantasy. it is perhaps supposed to be horny or sexy. so let’s talk about it.

i must remind you that these topics you’ve brought up (rape, incest, sa) being written are fiction and it is (most often) done by someone marginalized who has either experienced this or is in threat of experiencing this under a patriarchy. i assure you, they are aware of its harm. hence the copious warnings in fandom spaces.

if i can be candid, sometimes i think that people forget how systems of oppression work when discussing fandom and whether dark content being created should be allowed or not.

for example, i sometimes think people who are anti-dark content in fandom believe that a woman or afab person writing a fictional fanfic about rape or sexual violence then influences people to go out and rape people or that women actually like it. when the reality, in fandom spaces, is that rape and sexual violence happen frequently under the patriarchy and then these women in fandom write fictional fanfic in response to cope, explore, take control of, etc. etc.

to insinuate that women or afab people (which fandom mostly is) exploring dark content safely in fiction then causes their own oppression and harm or trauma is rather victim-blame-y to me. fandom exploring dark content does not cause these things to happen in our society….these actions (rape, incest, sa) happen in our society or systems of power and fandom reacts to them in their art by exploring it in dark content. do you understand what i’m trying to say?

it’s not a matter of what is ‘okay’ to romanticize and what isn’t. i do not think the romanticization that fandom does with dark content (ie. my kidnapper actually loves me! or this sexual act that i did not consent to…maybe feels good) is not actually romanticizing but coping because of the systems of power that i described above. and this can be coping with anything—shame of sexuality, shame of fantasies, trauma, fear, etc. etc.

as i said in my tags in that post i reblogged and as plato said, dark content in art is a safe place to explore what would otherwise be harmful and dangerous in real life. it is cathartic. potentially even, a purging.

and even if it isn’t all that—maybe it just is trashy fantasy. it is still playing pretend. it is still fiction and in fandom spaces, it is still most likely being created by a marginalized person. and again, even if it isn’t, we don’t get to censor it. we can be critical of it or wary or whatever, but to censor it, is a slippery, slippery slope. do deem some topics as “acceptable” and others as “unacceptable” is dangerous.

just like kids play pretend where they ‘fight’ or ‘kill’ or ‘kidnap’ or ‘shoot’ each other in games of cops and robbers or heroes and villains, they are safely exploring adventure, dark content, fantasy, tragedy, and higher emotions. adults can do the same in fiction and with adult topics like sex.

and at the end of the day, we don’t get to demand the credentials to do so either. we don’t get to censor them or control them and nor should we be allowed to. i cannot stress enough that i encourage you to be critical of censorship or the absolute disgust in dark content and at those (again—often marginalized people) who engage with it in fandom. i believe it is deeply puritanical, conservative, and dangerous.

you don’t have to like dark content or consume it at all and fandom makes it easy not to with all the warnings and tags, but you cannot control others or police them. nor should you want to.

and at the end of the day, i have some questions for you. you don’t have to respond to this, perhaps they’re just things to think about. what is the end goal here? what is the point in harassing, shaming, attacking, criticizing, or interrogating people in fandom spaces who create or support dark content? do you believe that if it is purged from fandom, it will be purged from our society? if you want it purged from society—shouldn’t you start there rather than in the inbox of marginalized writers in fandom? people in fandom did not create rape, incest, and sa nor do they in their exploration of fiction…they are merely reacting to a world that did create it.

i hope at no point i came off as rude to you, as was not my intention. i intended to stand up for myself and respectfully state my opinions and thoughts on this matter. i’m sorry it got long, but also i don’t believe in being brief on such complex matters. i am a writer who engages critically with the world around me and sometimes, things cannot be made into short, snappy answers. sometimes, we must unpack.

genuinely wishing you well.

[stellar-constellations]

Star Patient: Chapter 6 (ONGOING SLOW BURN SERIES)

WARNING: This series will include; possible inaccurate medical procedures and medical setting, gore, toxic relationships that should NOT be replicated in real life, murder, yanderes, cursing, suicide mentions, implications of misandry (male misogyny), descriptions of self-harming, accusations of cheating, child death, death of major and minor characters, OC's are used throughout the story for plot and depth, reader is in denial and paranoid, toxic family dynamics, perversive thoughts, reader is bipolar (not saying that in a quirky way, like literally bipolar), religious comparisons, light mention of demons, stalkers, possibly more to add.

Inaccurate canon-timeline and setting (this is before Ashley and Andrew murdered their parents). They also live in America (because I wasn't aware they lived in Europe prior to this series).

Reader has a small fear of adult men/rape and has a history of suicide attempts.

Incest is not Wincest.

Amnesiac! Obsessive! Patient! Andrew Graves x Yandere! Nurse! Reader:

Wordcount: 15,700+ words

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, current chapter, Chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9 (in the works)

Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!

Hello, my stars. Before starting this, I wanted you all to know I've updated my warnings. I'm telling you this to warn my sensitive readers who might get triggered or uncomfortable.

Warnings: This series will include; possible inaccurate medical procedures and medical setting, gore, toxic relationships that should NOT be replicated in real life, murder, yanderes, cursing, suicide mentions, implications of misandry (male misogyny), descriptions of self-harming, accusations of cheating, child death, death of major and minor characters, OC's are used throughout the story for plot and depth, reader is in denial and paranoid, toxic family dynamics, perversive thoughts, reader is bipolar (not saying that in a quirky way, like literally bpd), religious comparisons, demons, stalkers, possibly more to add.

Please note, this series is NOT to romantize, glamorize, normalize, or encourage ANY of this behavior that we see throughout the story.

I also have playlists for you to listen to while reading this, or just to listen to in general if you're looking for new music!

Thank you for reading this section.

------------------------

        “Alright Ms. (L/N), you’re free to be discharged. Do you have a ride home?” her doctor questioned, signing her discharge forms, consenting to the leave. 

        “Yes, sir.” She nodded. 

        She just planned on driving back home herself. Sure, it was dangerous, but she did come here with a bleeding leg, so she sure as hell can leave with a bandaged one.

        “Alright… Good. And, just a little rundown on what you’ll need to do. Please keep your leg elevated with your heart whenever possible. I signed for you to get two weeks off work, that way you wouldn’t be applying any weight onto your leg. Please keep eating liquids or non-solid for at least a week; so like jellos and puddings and soups. You should know the procedure, we need the inner staples to heal and it'll be good not to tear the stitches.” The doctor explained to her.

        “I also scheduled a appointment for you to visit me next week so we can hopefully check and remove your staples on your outer stomach if all is good, and if so, we’ll decide to give you the green light to eat solids or not. Please avoid wetting or poking the staples and stitches.” The doctor spoke, wrapping up his speech.

        “Thank you, sir.” (Y/N) smiled, taking the discharge papers from the doctor’s hands.

        “Do you need any help finding the exit?” the doctor questioned as her nurse removed the IV needle from (Y/N)’s veins, placing a piece of cotton on the bleeding hole and medical tape to hold the cotton in place.

        “No, sir. I’ll be just fine… I have to make a quick visit anyways…” (Y/N) spoke.  

        The doctor left the room after (Y/N) took the papers from him, the nurse following after the doctor. (Y/N) stood up and resisted the urge to stretch, that would just strain and possibly snap any stitching or stapling.

        She looked at the clothes the nurse left on her bedside. (Y/N) snatched the clothes and walked to the bathroom, locking the door. Because her clothes were ruined yesterday with blood and had to be cut in the emergency room, she was given paper scrubs from the hospital to wear. Sure, they sucked and were flimsy, but it was better than leaving naked. Hospitals can only do so much. 

        (Y/N) put on the fabric and her shoes (that were fortunately in one piece). She unlocked the bathroom, walking out and exiting the hospital room. She walked to the elevators, entering one and pressing the psychiatric floor. 

        She waited for the elevators doors to open, exiting them once they did. She walked down the hallways with a limp, ignoring it as she made her way to Andrew’s room. She knocked on the door to announce her presence, before opening the door.

        Andrew was awake this morning, a bit unusual given how late he stayed up with her last night, but perhaps he couldn’t sleep much. Maybe he has a headache? That brain surgery was only a free days ago, so maybe he's experiencing some pain.

        “Hey, are you okay?” (Y/N) questioned, disturbing him from looking out the window. 

        Andrew’s head snapped over to her once he heard her voice. He looked surprised, and his electric green eyes looked a little puffy and red, like he was about to cry; however there were no tears streaming down his face, as if he was refusing to cry.

        “Andrew? Are you okay?” (Y/N) repeated, concerned as she limped over to him, taking a seat on the guest chair.

        “Ahem, yeah. I’m fine…” he covered his mouth and coughed, turning his head away from her. “Do you need something?” he questioned.

        “I’m getting discharged, so I won’t see you for at least two weeks, possibly even longer.” (Y/N) explained, her eyes subconsciously glancing over his figure and observing his state

        His black hair was messy—as it usually was—and he still remained pale, with the exception of red rings around his eyes and a blush on his nose. His broken legs were elevated to his heart by keeping pillows under his legs. He didn’t have any bandages wrapped around his head anymore since his staples weren’t bleeding anymore after his brain surgery. His breathing patterns looked normal and he doesn’t appear to be sweating, so it’s safe to say the doctors got rid of the internal bleeding problem. 

        “Because I’m leaving, I need you to behave for the night nurses and day nurses.” She spoke, as if trying to communicate with a child.

        “It won’t matter…” he muttered, his voice deep and gravely, sounding as if he was in pain.

        “What, why? What’s wrong?” (Y/N) questioned, subconsciously leaning closer to him with a look of confusion on her face.

        “They’re discharging me tonight.” Andrew spoke, his voice raising its volume so she could hear better. 

        “Why, that’s great s it not?” she questioned, mentally cringing as she tried her best to gauge a reaction out of him, hoping that he could explain more. “You won’t be stuck here anymore. You’re healing.”

        “No… I-“ he paused, unsure if he should speak about the thoughts swirling in his head. “I-I can’t leave. I can’t.”

        “Why not?” (Y/N) questioned. 

        Andrew stayed quiet, his eyes stuck staring at his hands that laid in his lap, seemingly ashamed to look up at her.

        “Andrew, what’s wrong?” (Y/N) repeated, standing up from the chair and bringing herself closer to Andrew, sitting down at his bedside gently so she wouldn’t disturb his legs.

        “Don’t you understand…?” he muttered, his tone going down a dark notch. “I can’t leave you…” 

        “Huh?” (Y/N) audibly spoke, voicing a noise of confusion as she looked at him, more so confused now rather than concerned.

        Why can’t he leave? Is it because of Ashley? Oh god, does he know Ashley's dead? That I killed her? Can he not leave me because he wants revenge? (Y/N) questioned inside her head, her nerves eating her up.

        “Andrew, I need you to tell me so I can help you. Surely we can—“ Andrew’s hands went up to her shoulders and gripped them tightly, his vibrant green eyes suddenly looking a little more of a toxic color, one to warn others that they’re dangerous. 

        “Don’t you understand, damn it?!” Andrew shouted, his nails unconsciously digging into her skin and the flimsy scrubs the hospital provided her with. “Are you an idiot or something? I can’t leave! I can’t do anything!” 

        (Y/N) looked surprised, her feet trying to take a step back but his hold on her wouldn’t allow that. She looked a bit scared, cowering despite him being the one bedridden. 

        Her previous thoughts of getting caught was instead replaced with being trapped. The room suddenly felt more smaller while Andrew yelled at her. The white walls suddenly looked like they were closing in, the pale color looking damn similar to an asylum instead.

        “I should’ve at least taken up Ashley’s offer on escaping this damn place!” Andrew spoke, shaking her back and forth with a crazed look in his eyes.

        Yes, terrifying. That’s why she decided not to work with adults and chose kids instead. Adult men are just scary for her. Having an erratic episode like this is a pain when you’re dealing with kids, but an adult man with a deep yelling voice towering you and shaking you like a rag doll is just plain terrifying. Especially knowing the fact they could definitely overpower you. Hospitals drug up their patients all the time to where patients think irrationally, and there's always the patients that believe they're the customer who is always right; giving them all a sense of authority or inability to understand their wrongdoings, whether they have a god complex or just drugged. It's always going to be dangerous. 

        It brings a shiver down her spine. If this is the effect Andrew has by just yelling at her and shaking her a bit, she’s scared to know what he could do with no broken limbs. 

        He seemed to go on an angry, mindless rant as he shook her back and forth. At this point, she might be the one getting internal bleeding in her brain because of this. 

        “If anything, I should’ve just died! But now I’m royally fucked because of you and these fucking doctors!” Andrew shouted. 

        A patient threatening suicide? Much less a patient on suicide watch? That’s not good, especially if he’s threatening suicide while almost being discharged. He could stay in this unit for mental health evaluation if he actually tries something. He’s lucky that she’s not on the clock, otherwise she would be forced to chart that.

        She mustered her nerves and grabbed his wrists, looking down at him and doing her best to keep a gentle facade.

        “Hey Andrew, let’s calm down and figure this out…” she spoke. “I need you to tell me what’s wrong so I can help."

        “I-I just—“ Andrew’s pissed-off expression changed, his grip on her shoulders loosening as he let out a sigh. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

        So he noticed…

        “I’m scared…” he admitted, his hand going up and playing with her hair, twirling it around her fingers, ignoring that it hasn’t been washed in a couple days due to the accident. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t go back to—“ he paused, stopping himself. “H-home. I can’t go back home because I don’t remember it.” He lied.

        He can’t go back to his apartment complex and be locked up in that room again. He can’t. Hell, maybe the complex actually burnt down like the news has been saying. But he has no home now, and if he goes to a shelter they might ask for documents or for identification, both of which he doesn’t have. 

        He can’t go to his parents. With his face on the news and being indebted to them again? Please, anything but that. He’s already done enough for them. He purposely didn’t write his parents’ names and numbers down when the doctors made him file paperwork because he didn’t want to see them again. 

        And he might go insane if he has to live with Ashley again. The hospital has been boring, yes, but at least he could actually think with some quiet. No more killing people or cannibalizing people or worrying about future visions or any of that crap. He could actually enjoy some peace for once. He loves his sister, but it's about time for them to act like adults and have their own lives. 

        And god, the money to pay back the hospital. He doesn’t have that kind of money. His whole bill must well be 20,000 dollars, possibly even more. He doesn’t even have a job! He’s not entirely sure if he remembers his banking information, and he doubts he has health insurance he can remember! 

        “I-I just… don’t remember anything.” He spoke, a half truth and half lie. “I don’t have parents.” Another lie. “I don’t remember where I live.” Another lie. “I have no money to pay off all this debt I’ll be in.” A possible (?) lie. “I have no job.” True. “I-I don’t know what to do. I’m fucked.” Andrew spoke, tears filling up in his eyes as he chuckled in possible disbelief, his hands going to his face to cover it.

        Yeah, that sounds like a shitty situation… (Y/N) thought, pushing down that fear he installed in her earlier as she hesitantly stayed next to him, uncertain what to do.

        She’s never had to deal with this kind of situation. Her patients are kids, and they don’t usually worry about money or healthcare or such things an adult worries about. Fixing someone's IV needle and fixing their bank account is two very separate things. 

        Honestly, it’s pretty sad. Adults have it rough. Most people now in America hesitate to call an ambulance because of the bill for that alone, ranging from $400 to more than a thousand for the ride to a hospital alone. 

        She doesn’t blame him for being mad, she’d be pretty pissed in his situation too. 

        “And, are you absolutely positive?” (Y/N) questioned, her hand resting on his wrist and drawing small circles to soothe him. “Do you really have nowhere else to go once you leave? Or any money or such at all?” 

        “No…” he answered, a loss of hope in his voice as he resisted the urge to cry. 

        “Okay… it’s okay.” (Y/N) spoke as Andrew kept playing with her hair.

        “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean to scare you…” he muttered. “Please don’t leave me. I-I don’t know what to do and I’m scared and…” he paused, uncertain of the next words about to come out of his mouth. “I-I just need you. I need your help.” 

        God, not the damn puppy eyes… (Y/N) though, nothing how his bright green eyes cleared of any malicious intent from earlier, now just glossy and filled with tears threatening to spill out. 

        He looked like he really didn’t want to leave her (or maybe it’s because he just really needs her help) and that just pulled her heartstrings.

        Think, (Y/N). You’re a nurse. You gotta be quick on your feet and think of a solution… (Y/N) thought, wracking her brain for a solution. 

        “What if…” she paused, thinking.

        Would that really be a good idea? He’s a male after all. The last guy she dealt with was a total psycho…

        No, it’s probably not a good idea, considering he’s on the run and he’s a cannibal. But she doesn’t know his whole story, so she can’t judge so quickly…

        Not to mention she’s a murderer herself now. Even if she killed a wrongdoer, she still killed someone. 

        But is it really a good comparison? Is it really so bad for her to kill just one life after saving many others?

        Now that’s just sociopathic thinking… 

        “What if you stay with me?” (Y/N) suggested, doing her best to keep her tone confident.

        “What?” Andrew questioned, unsure if he heard that correctly.

        Did she actually just say that?

        “What if you stay with me?” (Y/N) repeated, forcing herself to act like it wasn’t a big deal. “I mean, it wouldn’t be bad. I have the space. It’d be good for you too, I can still help with your bandages and elevating your legs and such, make sure there’s nothing going wrong during your healing process and that you’re still sticking to the treatment plan. I can pay the medical bills and you’ll work it off for me over time, until you’re able to get back on your own two feet.”  

        Ha. Pun intended… (Y/N) thought, resisting the urge to chuckle.

        “You’re really serious? You’re not pulling my leg or anything, right?” Andrew questioned, surprised as he sat up, wincing at the pain in his legs and head from the sudden movement.

        “Hey, take it easy.” (Y/N) reminded, placing her hand on his shoulder to stop him (and to hide her shaky hands).

        She decided it wasn’t the time to freeze up or think, thinking would just make her panic to what she just offered.

        “And I’m serious. If you need a place to stay, you can come to mine.” (Y/N) spoke. "Nobody should have to pay to live, it’s just… sad.”

        Even if it is sad that you have to pay to live, that’s just life. There’s a reason why. Not many people would do things for free. Currency was made to pay others for their labor, rewarding them for a job done right. The more money, the more luxurious your life is… sometimes…

        There’s not many people in the world who would save a stranger’s life and expect nothing in return. Especially when you’re working hours to days at a time keeping people alive and healthy, it just wears you down overtime to where that paycheck is the only thing you’re looking forward to. Nurses work for money, and the ones that enjoy helping people instead start to despise them due to their ugly flaws revealing themselves in their states of venerability. Nurses and doctors see more ugly things in people than they do in infections. 

        Well, as long as you do your job, the paychecks won’t die; unlike the patients. 

        “So? What do you say?” (Y/N) questioned, looking down at Andrew with a forced smile. 

        Don’t think about the offer. If you don’t think, you wouldn’t contemplate about how absolutely idiotic that suggestion was. Seriously, allowing a cannibalistic serial killer into your home all alone? Let alone a man.

        The thought was indeed distasteful, but her mouth was quicker than her brain, and she already offered it. It would be cruel to give him false hope and swipe that right under his nose. 

        Andrew wasn’t too sure if he wanted to take up that offer. Sure, it’d save his ass from the streets, but it’d also leave him indebted to her, which can give her an upper hand to take advantage of him. It’s also worth noting that his face is probably still in the news somewhere, which could be bad if she finds out and reports him to the police… 

        But maybe there’s the chance that she’s not well-informed or active in the community or news? Maybe the whole news will blow over soon and she’ll never know? 

        It’s better than nothing…

        “If you’re really sure…” Andrew muttered. “Then I’ll take you up on your offer. I’ll repay you.” He spoke.

        Great. (Y/N) thought, fantastic and nervous.

        “I’ll get an uber for you. I need to get some stuff settled at my house beforehand. What’s your discharge time?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “One P.M.” Andrew answered. 

        “Okay, at one P.M. you’ll go to the front of the hospital and I’ll get an uber for you so they can drop you off at my place.” (Y/N) explained, clapping her hands together to avoid the awkwardness of parting ways. “Well… I’ll see you later.” She spoke, forcing a smile. 

        She didn’t give him time to speak or say goodbye, leaving the room before she could dwell longer. She needed to bury Ashley’s body before someone finds it, she needed to deep clean her apartment, and she needed to mentally prep herself for Andrew’s arrival.

        She took her discharge papers and entered the elevator, pressing the lobby floor and waiting. The doors opened and she exited the box, walking out to the lobby and out the glass doors. She unlocked her car and entered, turning the key in the engine and taking a deep breath, preparing herself for the day traffic and using her injured leg to drive. 

        She turned on the radio to a random adults hit channel, before backing out of the parking lot and taking off. She made a quick pit stop at a hardware store, buying one of those stupid state merchandise shirts, a pair of shorts, a pair of gardening gloves, some hair ties, water bottles, and a shovel. She paid in cash (thank god the emergency gas money she kept in her car since she didn't have her purse) and drove an hour out to that forest she put Ashley in.

        (Y/N) prayed to whatever god she believed in, or at least prayed to herself that luck would be on her side, and parked somewhere in the sticks. She fumbled around the backseat and changed out of the flimsy paper scrubs to that cheap state shirt and shorts she bought in the hardware store, tying up her hair with a cheap hair tie.

        She grabbed her supplies and exited her car, locking it. It took at least twenty minutes before she was able to pick up the dead body smell, following the stench to Ashley’s body. The blankets she was wrapped in didn’t look tampered with, so maybe nobody found the body beforehand. 

        (Y/N) made quick work, putting on the gardener gloves and grabbing a shovel, finding a patch of loose dirt and started digging. 

        Six-foot grave my ass, if she buried that deep then she might not be able to get out of the hole. (Y/N) settled on a four foot grave, digging and making sure to take breaks so she wouldn’t snap any stitches or staples. 

        At least two or three hours later, she was able to roll Ashley’s body into the hole. Staring at the bloodied cloth was just so unsettling… a reminder of what she’s done.

        She’s seen plenty of blood and gore before, but she’s never been the cause of it (or at least, she’s never punctured skin for anything other than the intent to help someone). 

        It felt right to say something, a little memoir or a speech or something. 

        She grabbed some big rocks and made an imaginary audience, setting them near the grave as (Y/N) stood before it.

        “Today, we are here to celebrate life and remember the loss of it…” (Y/N) began.

        Yep, killing someone who tried to kill you first, then proceeding to make a whole damn memoir of them… that’s totally normal and not something someone unhinged would do. Or maybe it’s just because she’s a really compassionate person and feels sorry for killing her. Maybe a bit of both.

        “Ashley Graves was the younger sister of Andrew Graves. She was… passionate and determined.” (Y/N) spoke awkwardly, clasping her hands together, ignoring the dirt itching them inside the glove. 

        “We’re here to celebrate her life and youth. While she died young, she stayed golden. She was very pretty, and I’m sure she accomplished something in her life at one point…” (Y/N) rambled. 

        “I don’t know much about her, and I would’ve brought her brother here too if I wasn’t so concerned about him killing me too. I’m already digging one grave, I don’t need to dig my own too… or one for Andrew…” (Y/N) muttered, hiding that last part from the rock audience with a cough. 

        “Too soon to joke? Yeah… that was a bit hard… like rock.” (Y/N) chuckled too herself. “I’m sorry, sorry! This is a rocky start…” (Y/N) giggled, before her smile dropped, reality coming back and hitting her.

        “Fucking hell… I hate myself.” (Y/N) groaned, dropping down to her knees and covering her face with her hands, before coughing and spitting once the dirt on her gloves got in her mouth and eyes.

        When she got the dirt out of her eyes and mouth, she settled for staring at the dead body. Ashley died young and she was pretty, surely there must've been something good Ashley could've done with her future. 

        It really didn’t have to be this way, perhaps an agreement could’ve been made. While Ashley threatened her first, (Y/N) attacked her first, provoking her by spraying perfume in Ashley’s eyes.

        “Oh fuck…” (Y/N) groaned, pulling the strands of hair that has fell from her hair tie after her manual labor. “I’m really burying a body of a young woman. One I killed no less…” she muttered to herself, wishing that this all could’ve just been one big dream.

        A dream that she met some fugitives on the run, that she stooped so low as to murder another so violently and decided to house another. That she had to witness her favorite patient die after spending three years with her. 

        Honestly, she wished everything in her life was a dream. She wished being neglected and locked into a room for hours upon a time, sleeping and crying and famished, was a dream. She wished the relentless bullying throughout her school years was a dream. She wished all the pressure and stress she set upon her, forcing herself to grow out of childhood early so she could focus on the future, was a dream. She wished that disgusting and obsessive man was a dream, that he never sent those letters or took her to court or even did anything he did.

        No, she didn’t wish it was a dream; she wished it was a nightmare. Dreams are meant to be enjoyed, or at least allow yourself into a false sense of security to enjoy momentarily. 

        The constant harassment, the constant paranoia, the constant loneliness, the constant emptiness. She’d rather not torture herself in the dream world either. 

        Before Hailey died, she asked (Y/N) what she would like to be surrounded by, and (Y/N) said “beds” because she liked sleeping. She left it at that so she wouldn’t disturb the bittersweet moment as Hailey died. Perhaps if Hailey was older, or a friend rather than a patient, (Y/N) might have told her the truth. 

        Sure, beds are comfortable. A de-stressing spot for her and many others alike. Being bundled up in warmth and motherly affection she never experienced in her life, seeking comfort from an inanimate object to replace her own mother's nonexistent affection. 

        Beds are also comfortable when you die. Lots of people die in their beds. Most people imagine that they’ll die surrounded by their loved ones, peacefully succumbing to death. (Y/N)’s never bothered contemplating death, she knew if she was going to die it would be suicide—or, at least she thought so. After Ashley trying to kill her and possibly Andrew being her potential killer too in the future if he ever finds out what she did, she’s not too sure how she’ll die now.

        She’ll probably die from another depressive episode like starving herself and staying in bed, or some other health cause in her sleep. Whatever it is, her death bed would be made of cotton and polyester, she hopes. Perhaps in her will she'll write down she wants a twin-sized mattress in her coffin, at least make her death bed comfortable.

        Everyday just feels like a struggle to get out of bed now. 

        “Ashley…” she began.

        Now thinking about it, is it even right to speak Ashley’s name after she’s the cause of her death?

        “I’m sorry for killing you, and for causing you whatever pain or paranoia you experienced to where you felt the best course of action was to kill me. Things could’ve possibly been different if I had just talked to you, but I didn’t, and for that, you’re gone and I'm still here.” (Y/N) spoke.

        She wondered if Ashley enjoyed her life, what she had before she died. (Y/N) couldn't even enjoy all that she has, yet she still selfishly fought for her pathetic life, killing a woman who could've done better than her. Who could've accomplished more if she just fixed up her ways, if she just gave herself a second chance at living a true life. 

        (Y/N)'s had her chances, maybe happiness just wasn't for her. Maybe life just wasn't for her. Yet she's the one standing over the grave she should be in instead. 

        Maybe she should've just let Ashley kill her. Make all this pain and loneliness and paranoia just disappear like she wants to. 

        There was a moment of silence to respect the dead, before (Y/N) picked up the shovel and got to covering the body with dirt. It was faster to fill the grave than dig it, and she was able to finish after an hour. (Y/N) felt bad about it, but she stomped on the dirt to try and make sure it was packed and wasn’t loose. She grabbed the rock audience and scattered the rocks back where she found them so the grave wouldn't be suspiciously marked.

        Maybe I’ll reserve flowers for Ashley too… (Y/N) thought to herself, before allowing there to be another moment of silence to mourn the loss of life.

        After the silence, she walked back to her car, throwing the dirty supplies into the backseat of her car and hopping into the passenger seat. She buckled her seatbelt and drove out of the forest. Usually she would’ve taken a minute to at least desensitize her emotions so she can drive safely—or at least ponder why the hell she had a rock funeral back there—but she needed to get home and get her apartment in order.

        Once (Y/N) made it inside her apartment complex, she rushed to see if anything was out of place inside her apartment, swinging open her door and observing the crime scene in her bedroom. It smelt of potent citrusy perfume with the hint of metallic blood wafting throughout her home. 

        Before (Y/N) left, she did a quick wipe down of her walls and floors in case the police would investigate her apartment. Why? Well, there's no reason other than classic paranoia and the fear of being face to face with a judge inside of a courtroom once more.         

        Yeah, been there, done that. 

        Despite her quick clean, obviously it wouldn't be enough to get rid of the evidence if the police truly did a deep investigation (that is, if they even her connected to the crime). Well, even if the police doesn't piece out the murder, Andrew might. Andrew is Ashley's sister, surely he must know enough about her to know if she's capable of committing murder, especially because they were partners in crime. 

        Key word: were.

        (Y/N) glanced at the clock, seeing the time was 12 P.M. (Y/N) pulled out her phone and paid for an uber to pick Andrew up at the hospital entrance. His ride will be about thirty minutes if the traffic is good, so (Y/N) can only assume she'll have two hours to clean if she's lucky.

        Surprisingly—for a sorry excuse of a woman—her apartment isn't trashed or damaged; it's pretty clean. (Y/N) always worried if her parents one day stopped by and entered her apartment. She really didn't want to hear her mother's berating comments or her father's comments on how she should move back to the farm and be safe there. 

        She also worried about having her neighbors suddenly knock on her door to talk to her, or her landlord entering. She didn't want to give the impression that she's lazy, and she didn't want to give the impression that she's depressed either; she'd rather not have others pity her in such ways. She's an adult, she needs to learn how to take care of herself eventually, otherwise how will she expect to take care of the kids at work? Let alone Andrew who will now reside in her home? 

        Oh gosh. How is she going to take care of Andrew? Shit. What if the neighbors see him and recognize him from on the news? What if the uber driver recognizes him? She'll go to jail for knowing he's a murderer and still helping him. She'll lose her job if they find out she's keeping a former patient at her apartment. 

        Damn it... damn it... damn it... 

        She paced around her bedroom in circles, her hands shaking and her legs weak as she started overthinking.

        Jesus, what if he becomes crazy? Well, more crazy than a cannibalistic murderer can possibly be. What if he becomes like him? She'll have to move away again. She'll have to hide away before he finds her and ruins her life once more. 

        The vision of torn sugar papers stained with special red ink. The sounds of either paper or her sanity ripping as she screamed and stopped on the scraps, before scooping up the pieces and burning them outside in her father's grill. Or maybe it was the constant feeling of dread and being watched, resorting to her superiors, her friends, her family; just anyone to help her and to listen to her. But they just laughed in her face, or scowled at her.

        "Stop searching for attention."

        "He wouldn't do that."

        "Why are you spreading rumors?"

        "Well, did you do something to provoke him?"

        The sound of the crackling fire as the embers of paper burned in the daylight was replaced with shattered glass and her grunts of frustration. She snapped back, looking down at the mess on her bedroom floor.

        Damn it.

        She shattered her vase, throwing it on the floor as it scattered to dozens of small blue and white pieces, the wave-decorated vase now ruined. Her precious lilacs she worked hard to growing now destroyed and lying in wet soil, the petals smushed, having been stomped on in her fit of rage. 

        (Y/N) stared at the mess for a minute or two—maybe five—before squatting down and hiding her head in her legs. 

        "Damn..." she hissed to herself, her anger at him instead being temporarily aimed at her. "Stupid, stupid, stupid..." (Y/N) muttered, picking up one of the larger shards of glass.

        She turned her uninjured arm over, revealing the past scars from her previous self-harming episodes. They all have healed a bit, still a prominent shade of red, but at least they weren't fresh. 

        She didn't hesitate, not even daring to waste a breath or reconsider her decision as she cut her wrist, watching as scarlet milk immediately started spilling down in a rapid stream. 

        Well, they were fresh now. 

        One cut turned into two, and two turned into four as the blood continued to pour. A painful stinging sensation shot up her arm, burning as the blood dripped down her arm and onto the floor. 

        "Fuck!" (Y/N) hissed, realizing what she had just done. 

        She dropped the bloodied shard onto the floor, clutching the bloody mess with her other hand, another painful sting crawling up her arm from tensing her muscles in her stitched arm. She groaned, dragging her feet to her bathroom and scurrying for her first-aid.

        She opened the kit up, grabbing cotton balls and rubbing alcohol, wiping down her arm with the alcohol. It didn't sting as much like it should when rubbing alcohol is applied to a wound, it's probably expired—if not already—so she'll need to go buy a new bottle. She kept applying pressure until the blood eventually stopped, then checked on the cuts.

        Luckily, the cuts weren't near her wrists and they weren't deep either. It was a miracle she didn't cut a vein open, otherwise she'd have to go right back to the hospital. It seemed in her impulsive decision, she just cut without bothering to look where, slicing up the fat on her arm near her elbow. 

        (Y/N) hastily grabbed a large cotton patch, then wrapped gauze around it tightly, securing it with medical tape. There was blood on her clothes but she wasn't too worried about it, she was going to change out of the tacky merchandise clothing anyways, especially with the dirt on it. 

        She decided that while she was in the bathroom she might as well bathe quickly. She ignored the stinging spikes shooting throughout her arms as she peeled off her shirt and bra, kicking off her shoes and socks, taking off her shorts and panties. She threw the clothing on the ground and untied her hair (after some struggle, the hair tie came off with strands of hair attached), placing the hair tie down on the counter. She turned on the faucet and adjusted it to a bearable temperature, hopping into the bathtub.

        She didn't sit down, standing up so she wouldn't soak her staples or stitches. She grabbed a washrag, dumping it in the water and wringing it of excess water, before carefully going over her surrounding wounds to clean the skin. Once she finished, she proceeded to wipe down her entire body, before applying soap to the rag and washing herself, making sure to avoid getting soap in her wounds. After finishing soaping down and rinsing her skin, she dipped her hair in the water, lathering and scrubbing and rinsing her hair with shampoo and conditioner. 

        After finishing her bath, she exited the tub and drained the water. She grabbed towel and carefully dried off, wrapping the towel around her body and walking out to her bedroom. She grabbed a random bra and a baggy, cotton sweater so she could cover her arms and hopefully not rub too much on her stitches and avoid irritating them. She grabbed a skirt and panties, putting them on, along with clean socks (ones that were not bloody). 

        After dressing herself and sorting out her hair, she exited the bathroom and walked to her supply closet in the hallway, grabbing supplies for mopping, a broom and dustpan, hydrogen peroxide, a scrubber, glass cleaner, duster, etc. She had an hour and a half to clean up the place, which isn't too bad for a simple clean. (Y/N) cleans her apartment weekly, while it's a pain, she didn't want any neighbors knocking on her door and seeing her place trashed. She didn't want to risk a sudden drop in from her parents or such (she'd rather not hear their complaints). She had a reputation to uphold outside of her home and she couldn't afford anymore damage to it. Even after moving across the country, her reputation is held together by cheap duct tape. 

        She stared at her ruined flowers that rested on the ground, kicked on the ground and smashed over like roadkill. Once more, a good thing ruined with no-one to blame but herself. 

        .

        .

        The uber ride was extremely uncomfortable. It felt almost suffocating to be trapped in such a small space with a stranger. Andrew worries if the driver will look in the rearview mirror and recognize him, drive him down to the police station and turn him in instead of arriving safely at (Y/N)'s home.

        That's not the worst of his problems, he completely forgot to tell Ashley where he's going or what's happening (wherever she is, he hasn't seen her for a few days now...)!

        He feels a bit excited to have a place to go to, especially knowing it's (Y/N) he's returning to, but there's also a nauseating feeling in his stomach, a dropping weight sinking his inner organs with doubt. That feeling was replaced with a sense of fear, wondering what happened to Ashley. He hasn't heard from her in days and she has absolutely no clue of his whereabouts. He doesn't even know where she's been staying at these past days, if she even had a roof under her head or food in her stomach—at least he ate food from the hospital, granted the quality wasn't great but it was still something. 

        The uber pulled up to the curb in front of an apartment complex. The concrete on the ground had cracks and plastic wrappers from nearby fast food places, and the bushes out front looked overgrown and had more twigs and branches than it did green leaves. The outside walls were painted a tan, looking sun-bleached with flakes of paint peeling from the walls. 

        He stepped out of the car with the aid of crutches, no luggage to carry as he muttered a thanks to the driver, shutting the car door. He wiped the imaginary dirt off his ripped jeans. He managed to get his clothes back from the hospital after his discharge (luckily, they didn't have any rips or bloodstains that made the clothes unwearable) thanks to the nurses washing them for him prior to his release. 

        The apartment complex had multiple different buildings with alphabetical letters on them, each building having two levels and at least eight different staircases, so there must've been about sixteen apartments in each building. He wasn't sure which apartment (Y/N) lived in, she never gave him a number, but luckily he didn't have to go knocking door to find it as she spotted (Y/N) climbing down a set of concrete stairs. (Y/N) rushed over to him with a friendly smile, wearing a baggy, muted pink sweater and a black skirt. 

        "Andrew!" (Y/N) greeted, rushing over to his side, smelling of lemon and cleaning bleach. "I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate, I should've helped you get out of the car. Your legs are still injured and need to heal up." 

        "Hey, it's fine..." Andrew spoke through gritted teeth, forcing a smile. 

        Her hair was down just as it was when she was a patient in the hospital, except she looked so beautiful now without that damn paper gown—those gowns didn't do her any justice. Her hair looked brighter, even looking softer in the sunlight—or maybe that's because she had access to a shower. Her smile looked as bright as the burning star in the sky shining its UV rays down onto them, if not brighter. Her skin was a more healthy color in contrast to how pale it looked in the hospital's lighting—perhaps her skin was softer too. He wondered how her hands would feel now that she was free from the hospital's gloomy and depressing atmosphere, how it would feel under his own hands, before he forced those thoughts away for now.

        "My apartment is B04." (Y/N) informed, waving bye to the uber before guiding Andrew to her apartment. "I'm sorry for the stairs. Hopefully in a few months you can walk up and down them without any issue." 

        She guided him to a set of stairs, walking behind him so she could catch him in case he fell. When they made it to the top, she walked ahead and opened a white door with very little dirt on it and only minimum paint peeling near the bottom of it. She twisted open the gold doorknob, pushing open the door and holding it for him, watching as he limped into the apartment. 

        Andrew took a moment to observe the clean wooden floors, now understanding why he caught the whiff of lemon and cleaning product on her. She had a small table near the entrance with a small white and blue vase (similar to the one she broke in her room earlier). The vase had forget-me-nots, a classic flower representing depression despite how tragically beautiful they are. How cliché.

        The walls had no paintings or pictures, her walls painted a bright white that gave the apartment a modern and bright feeling. The living room had grey carpeting, a comfortable looking couch with some blankets and pillows to sleep or relax on, a table in front of the couch and a TV hanging on the wall. 

        "Here, here. Rest your legs." (Y/N) spoke, pressing her hand against Andrew's back, creating a sudden zap of lightning that spread throughout his body as she sat him down on her couch.

        "You don't have to worry about me." Andrew chuckled, a small smile resting on his lips.

        He looked far more comfortable here than he was at the hospital, seeming to smile easier. His skin even looked a bit healthier, though that could've just been the hospital lighting and blood loss. His charcoal hair looked shiny, but not because it looked healthy, more so it was greasy. Who knew the last time he showered. 

        "Do you want to go shower?" (Y/N) questioned, before mentally hitting herself at how weird that sounded. 

        Judging by the look on his face, he thought it was a little random too. 

        "Sorry, I didn't mean for that to come out so weird..." she laughed, flustered. "I meant, would you like to shower? Not to be mean, but your hair looks a little greasy, and I don't know when you last showered. It'd be bad to have your wounds dirty and get infected."

        "Oh." Andrew audibly voiced, resisting the urge to cover his hair at the realization. 

        The last time he showered must've been back at his old apartment complex, at least almost a week ago. He hasn't been worrying much about his appearance since the discovery of cultists, demons, and hitmen chasing after him has appeared. 

        "Right, that's a good idea..." He smiled bashfully, almost embarrassed to be seen this way.

        He knew he was at least decently attractive, never putting too much thought in his clothes or appearance so long as he was clean (which he wasn't at the moment).

        "Yeah, no worries..." She smiled, placing her hands on his waist as she helped him up from the couch, guiding him to her bathroom. 

        She opened the door and flipped the light switch, enveloping the room in bright light. The tiles were a shiny white, and the walls were a baby blue, a white tub with a silver shower head hanging from the wall. Her bathroom counter was clean, nothing cluttered on other than some hairdressing machines such as a hairdryer, straightener, curling iron, hair products, etc. She had some cabinets and drawers he'll peek into later, and an empty trashcan by the toilet. There was a laundry basket pushed up to the wall, and hooks to hang towels on the door. 

        "I'm sorry, I don't have any men shampoo or body wash..." (Y/N) apologized, picking up one of her soap bottles that sat on the bathtub's edge. "I hope you don't mind smelling like... Niacinamide and apple extract." She spoke, reading the front label. 

        "Better than nothing." He smiled. 

        "That's the spirit." She smiled, patting his shoulder. "Here, I'll rundown the process with you."

        She sat down inside the tub, her feet hanging off the side in a semi-uncomfortable looking position. "I don't want you standing on your feet, so please sit down like this. It'll also help you from getting your stitches wet. Remember, don't get your stitches wet." 

        He would've paid more attention to what she was saying, but he was a bit distracted, his hearing a little muffled as he took in the sight of her. It's not very lady-like to sit in a tub (fully clothed, he hated) with your legs hanging off the side in a way that made your skirt ride up your thighs. He tried his best to keep his attention on her face, but it was hard to as his eyes kept subconsciously drifting down.

        "So, the staples on your head is fine to get wet, just please be careful when you scrub so you don't tug on them, and make sure to rinse your hair really good. Be really careful when you brush your hair too so you don't tug on the staples. For your legs, you're going to need to wash them using a rag so you don't wet your stitches. Make sure not to get any soap in them either." She explained to him in depth, unaware how her words were going in one eat and out the other. "When you're done, pat your hair and body dry so the towel doesn't pull any stitches or staples."

        (Y/N) stood up from the tub (with a little struggle due to her position), breaking Andrew from his thoughts.

        "Do you got all that?" she questioned, smoothing down her skirt. 

        "Y-yeah." He muttered, avoiding her eyes in shame. 

        "Good." She smiled innocently. "Do you need any clothes?" she questioned, bending down to her cabinets and grabbing a clean towel and washrag. 

        "No. These clothes are fine... The nurses washed them before giving them to me." He explained, watching as she bend down, rising up and handing him the two items. 

        "You can put your towel on the hook, and put the washrag in my laundry basket." She directed. "Anything else?" 

        "No, thank you." He spoke, sparing her a small thankful smile. 

        "You don't have allergies or anything, right?" (Y/N) questioned, leaning on the door frame. 

        "No, I don't." He answered. 

        "So, anything you want for dinner? Do you have any dislikes?" she questioned. 

        "Anything's better than hospital food." He chuckled, leaning back on the toilet tank. 

        "Ha, you can say that again." She smiled. "I feel sorry for the patients that have to eat it, it's heated up in the back. I've had to eat it a few times because I've forgotten lunch and I didn't want to drive to some fast food joint." She hummed, moving off the door frame.

        Yeah, he could definitely see that. He wouldn't want to go driving in the middle of the night around this crappy city, especially to some burger joint. It already sucks driving at night, but having to drive at night in a city is just worse thanks to people ignoring the crosswalks and jaywalking, or the random drunks popping out of nowhere on the road after a night with their friends in the club. You honk your horn at them to get off the road and they think it's a fun game to scream louder than your car horn and zigzag the streets in a game of chicken. 

        "But, I'll let you get to bathing. I just wanted your input for dinner." (Y/N) smiled. "Oh, also I'm on a soft food diet for a few weeks, but I won't have you suffering with me for it. I'll make sure to hook you up."

        "Thank you." He chuckled, leaning his crutches on the wall next to the bathtub, placing his towel on the bathroom counter and the washrag on the bathtub's edge. 

        "Call me if you need anything." (Y/N) spoke, sending him a smile, before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind her, leaving Andrew to his own devices. 

        Andrew let out a sigh he didn't even know he was holding. It was hard to look at her and pay attention to what she was saying after that eye candy, but somehow he managed. Luckily, he retained enough of what she said to where he can properly wash himself without damaging his stitches. He took off his black sweater and ripped jeans, observing his ankles.

        He didn't need to wear casting anymore, but he still wore tight bandages to protect the stitch work and give a bit of support for the bone to heal itself. They had wired the small fractured bones together so the bones would stay in place. The thought of metal inside him made him a little squirmish, so he tried not to think much about it. 

        Andrew folded up his clothes, placing them down on the bathroom counter next to his towel. He glanced at the wooden laundry basket manufactured to look like a wicker basket in the corner, the cute little lid hiding her worn clothes that probably still smelled like her too. 

        He wondered if they'd share a laundry basket once he starts getting more situated around here. He wondered if they'd do their laundry together. If they'd cook meals together. If they'd decorate the house for the holidays together. If they'd wake up together in the same bed. Mundane and domestic little things like that he's unconsciously longed after for who knows how long. 

        He'll investigate her laundry along with her bathroom cabinets later. Right now, he doesn't want to take too long with this bath. 

        While Andrew cleaned himself up, (Y/N) browsed through her fridge, contemplating what to have for dinner. If she actually went to the grocery store, she’d have more food; however feeding herself hasn’t been much of a priority nowadays. Now that Andrew’s around, she’ll have to cook more to make sure he’s healthy and being cared for. 

        (Y/N) grabbed a package of Italian sausage that’s been in her fridge for a few days now. She unwrapped it, placing it on a frying pan over medium, before grabbing a pot and turning on the heat to low. 

        She grabbed some canned crushed tomatoes, tomato sauce, and Italian stewed tomatoes, throwing a can of each into the pot. Italian seasoning, basil, pepper, salt, oregano, minced garlic, and bay leaves all thrown into the pot. She would start a cooking stream if she wasn’t so insecure of herself. 

        She figured she’d just do an easy Italian goulash, it’s basically just spaghetti sauce with elbow noodles instead of angel hair. 

        After the meat finished cooking, she drained the grease and mixed the meat into the sauce. She grabbed another pot and filled it with water and some dashes of salt, waiting for it to boil. While she waited for that to boil, she started washing the dishes she dirtied and no longer needed. 

        (Y/N) absentmindedly spaced out while she washed the dishes. It’s weird how every time you wash the dishes, you’re either thinking of everything or nothing, nowhere in between. Perhaps you just disassociate to avoid the feeling of responsibility, or perhaps just to hurry up this annoying daily routine you have to do. It’s better to do the dishes than be featured in a before and after comparison picture for a housecleaning service on the newspaper (if anyone still reads those). 

        (Y/N) subconsciously peeked at the window, turning her attention to it. Normally she’d keep her curtains closed, but she wanted the room to be a bit brighter so she opened the curtains while cleaning. 

        A feeling of dread formed in her stomach like a whirlpool the longer she stared at the exposed window, causing (Y/N) turned off the faucet, drying off her hands. She quickly added some elbow noodles into the now boiling pot, then walked to the window in the dining room.

        She closely observed the window’s lock, giving the window a tug to make sure the lock stayed in place. She grabbed a screwdriver from a small basket she kept on her kitchen counter, making sure to tighten up all the screws till they wouldn’t budge. She closely observed the screen protector, looking for any mild holes, cuts in the screen, or any fingertip smudges on the glass, before deeming it safe. You can never be too safe in the city—or anywhere for that matter.

        She closed the curtains and pushed a small table back to the window wall, showcasing the innocent vase and flowers that rested in front of the window. The table was there in case any intruders broke in, that way there’d at least be a noise that would alert her if someone knocked down the table or vase. 

        (Y/N) went around the living room, observing the condition of every window and making minor adjustments to anything that needed to be done to ensure her safety was kept.

        Andrew hobbled into the living room, fresh out of the bath as he stared at (Y/N), confused on what the hell she was doing running around the windows like a lunatic. 

        “Are you good?” Andrew questioned, causing (Y/N) to yelp and jump at least five feet in the air.

        “Oh! Andrew!” (Y/N) gasped, holding her chest with her free hand. “You scared me. You’re very quiet.” 

        “Are you alright?” he repeated, hopping over to her side with the assistance of his crutches. 

        “I’m fine.” She smiled. “Just checking up on the windows. "You can never be too safe in the city, you know? Burglaries and murderers and all that!” 

        “Uh… Yeah… Yeah, that makes sense…” Andrew nodded, his thoughts drifting off.

        She’s trying to keep herself safe from murderers like myself, Andrew thought, a bitter taste in his mouth at the idea of her not wanting him around (despite his belief that she doesn't know he's a murderer). 

        “Hungry?” (Y/N) questioned, an innocent smile from her face as she walked back into the kitchen.

        “I might as well be starving.” He chuckled, even though he knew damn well what that felt like; famished and starving are two very distinct things. 

        “Well, dinner’s cooking and it won’t be any longer till it’s ready.” She hummed, watching as he followed her. “You like goulash, right? The Italian version?” she questioned, placing her screwdriver back into her counter’s basket.

        “Basically spaghetti…” he smiled. “Yeah, I don’t mind it.” 

        “Good, good!” (Y/N) smiled, grabbing a spoon and stirring the noodles as they boiled. “I’m glad to hear. I just decided to play it safe tonight and do something easy. We both could use the rest.” 

        “Rest would be amazing.” Andrew spoke, hopping over to one of her kitchen stools and sitting down with a quiet groan. 

        “Speaking of rest... How is your legs?” (Y/N) questioned, turning her body to face Andrew, moving away from the stove, leaning her back on the kitchen counter as she crossed her arms.

        “Oh, you know, they sting.” He hummed. “My ankles feel sore and there’s a dull throb every now and then, but hey, at least I’m still alive.”

        Unfortunately. He thought to himself.

        “Well, after dinner we can settle down and watch a movie.” She suggested. “Unless, you meant ‘rest’ as in you’re actually tired and want to sleep.” 

        “We’ll see after dinner…” He spoke. “I’m up for anything.” 

        “Sounds good.” She smiled. “And now that we mention dinner, it’s done.” 

        She grabbed a strainer and placed it in the sink, pouring the noodles in it to drain out the excess water. Once the noodles were drained, she mixed them in with the sauce, creating goulash. 

        She grabbed two bowls and scooped the pasta into the bowls, stabbing forks into the bowls before handing one to Andrew.

        “There’s parmesan cheese in the fridge if you want some with it.” She spoke, grabbing a glass and filling it with water. “Water?” she questioned, looking at him.

        “Yeah.” He answered with a nod, opening the fridge and scanning the shelves, before picking up the cheese and sprinkling it onto his pasta. “Thank you for cooking.” 

        “No worries.” She hummed, grabbing another glass and pouring water in it for him, handing him the glass. 

        Andrew accepted the water, giving her an appreciative nod as he followed her to the dining table, sitting down with her.

        She had four chairs around her dining table, despite seeming to live alone (as far as he can see). Perhaps the chairs are for guests or just so the table wouldn’t look weird with one chair. 

        Andrew stabbed his fork into the pasta, taking a bite, allowing himself a moment to chew and process the flavors.

        “Not bad.” He spoke, glancing over at her. “It tastes like spaghetti.” 

        “Thanks. It was basically the goal.” She chuckled, smiling.

        “Are you normally a good cook? Or is pasta just all you make?” Andrew questioned, taking another bite as his eyes stayed focused on her.

        “Oh, I just taught myself.” (Y/N) shrugged. "Cookbooks and the trial and errors."

        “You’re good.” He hummed, taking a sip of his water.

        “No, I’m not.” She chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m pretty mediocre. I mean, cooking is a life skill so really I’m not good at it compared to others..."

        He noticed her deflect the compliment and even shut it down, raising his eyes at her suspiciously. If he could kick her without hurting himself, he’d do it.

        “Hey, I’m serious.” Andrew spoke, meeting her eyes. “You’re better than me, at least.” 

        (Y/N) adverted her eyes nervously, looking down at her food. Some butterflies flew around her stomach at the praise, or maybe her food was really just that bad. 

        It felt weird to talk during dinner. When she was a child having dinner at her parents, usually it was spent in either silence or her father usually talking up a storm while her mother ignored him. On the very rare occasion—when her mother did decide to acknowledge her—it was her sending passive-aggressive comments (Y/N)’s way and questioning her life goals and motives.

        “So… clothes.” (Y/N) spoke up, picking up some goulash with her fork. “Unless you’re hiding a suitcase somewhere around here with clothes in it, we need to get you some clothes and other essentials. We can go shopping tomorrow.” 

        “Are you sure?” Andrew questioned, looking over at her surprised. “I mean, I can just keep wearing this until I get a job or something.”

        “Gross.” (Y/N) spoke, making a face at the thought of him wearing the same attire for weeks to months on end.

        “Hey, laundry exists, you know.” Andrew smiled, playfully pointing his fork at (Y/N).

        “Yeah, no. You need more outfits, otherwise you’ll start looking boring.” She chuckled.

        “Oh? Is my face not interesting enough?” Andrew questioned, teasing her as he sent her a wink.

        “Oh please.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes as she felt her face heat up against her better wishes.

        Oh god, I’m flirting with a murderer right now. (Y/N) thought, an almost nauseous feeling taking ahold of the butterflies in her stomach, causing them to burn in acid. 

        She wasn’t sure if being a murderer herself eased that nausea or worsened it.

        Her doorbell rang, causing them both to shoot their heads up at the door.

        Oh God, please don’t let it be him. (Y/N) thought, nervous. How did he even find me?

        Ashley? Andrew thought, staring at the door. Please, don’t cause a scene. Please don’t scare (Y/N) off.

        “I’ll get it.” (Y/N) spoke, forcing a smile as she stood up, her shoes tapping softly against the wooden planks. 

        (Y/N) walked to the front door, taking a deep breath before she opened the door, looking at who was in front of her abode. 

        Immediately, she slammed it back shut, panic creeping into her as a new wave of nausea hit her. She quickly rushed back to Andrew, ignoring the sting of her injured leg protesting at the rough movement, slamming her hands on the dining table.

        “You and me are dating now.” (Y/N) spoke, seemingly breathless. 

        “W-wait, what?” Andrew blurted out, his eyes as wide as saucers and he looked at her, shocked.

        “Just leave the talking to me.” (Y/N) spoke, before quickly rushing back to the front door, taking a second to smooth down her skirt and brush down her hair with her fingers.

        She took a second to take a breath, then opened the door.

        “Hi Papa! Hi Mama!” (Y/N) forced a smile, moving out of the doorway to let them in.

        “Hey there, sport!” (Y/N)’s father spoke, ruffling her hair with his hand as he stepped into the hallway.

        “About time you opened the door.” (Y/N)’s mother sighed, following her husband as she walked into the hallway, looking around at the empty walls. “You still haven’t hung anything up? It looks so gloomy in here.” 

        “I just haven’t found any decoration I like.” (Y/N) sighed, shutting the door behind her.

        Mama? Papa? Andrew thought, shocked as he stared at the family. 

        He’s meeting her parents already? They just started dating a few seconds ago! 

        “Something’s smelling good! Are you cooking dinner?” her father questioned, shoving his hands in his pockets as he looked around at her simple apartment, before his eyes met Andrew. 

        Andrew and (Y/N)’s father shared a silent staring contest, before her father rushed over to where Andrew was sitting, slamming his hands on the table. 

        “Who the hell do you think you are in my daughter’s home?!” he shouted, the table shaking from the impact of his hands.

        “Was he a one night stand?” her mother questioned, gliding over to the dining table, staring down at Andrew judgmentally.

        “Hey, it’s okay!” (Y/N) spoke, rushing to her father’s side and doing her best to pull him back from Andrew. “He’s good!”

        “Who is he?” her father questioned, his hands scrunching up table cloth with white knuckles. 

        “This is… my boyfriend, Andrew.” (Y/N) spoke, a embarrassed blush creeping up on her cheeks at her words as she managed to make some space between her father and Andrew.

        “Boyfriend?” her mother questioned, a hint of surprise in her tone. “Shocking.” 

        “Boyfriend, huh?” her father questioned, before laughing. “Sorry about that son, I didn’t mean to scare you. My daughter just got some bad experiences with boys. But you’re a man, right? You wouldn’t hurt her?” he questioned, forcing Andrew’s hand in his own and squeezing the life out of Andrew’s hand.

“N-nice to meet you, sir…” Andrew spoke through gritted teeth, a forced smile on his face. “And no, sir... I don’t wish to hurt your daughter.” 

        “I’m Frank.” (Y/N)’s father, Frank, introduced himself as he shook Andrew’s hand, dropping the hand back to Andrew’s side.

        “And I’m Rose.” (Y/N)’s mother spoke up.

        Andrew offered a handshake to her, but she just looked at his hands with disgust. “I don’t do handshakes.” 

        “Right…” Andrew spoke awkwardly, dropping his hand back to his side.

        “So… Ma, Pa, what brings your sudden visit?” (Y/N) questioned, holding her hands together in a service-like gesture.

        “We had a call from the hospital saying you were in the ER getting surgery, so your mother and I hopped in the car and drove across the country.” Frank explained.

        “Oh… that’s nice…” (Y/N) smiled, unsure what to say. “Um… thank you for checking up on me, Papa.” 

        “Don’t worry about it.” He smiled, roughing up her hair once more. “I’m sorry I wasn’t answering your calls, we drove through a lot of dead spots.” 

        Well, that at least explains why she couldn’t reach her father while she was in the hospital. She felt pretty lonely not hearing there voices during her time of need, but at least Andrew was there looking out for her.

        Pathetic really, having to rely on a man she barely knows, let alone a killer. 

        “You look fine.” Rose spoke up. “Are you sure you weren’t just overreacting?” she questioned, her tone accusing as she look in (Y/N)’s appearance. 

        “Thanks for your concern, Ma.” (Y/N) forced a smile, unsurprised of her mother’s words while Andrew had to fight to keep his mouth closed. 

        “So what happened?” Rose questioned, taking a seat at the dining table. 

        “Well, I took a walk after one of my shifts, and I got attacked by some man.” (Y/N) explained, by now she was well-rehearsed in saying the same lie over and over. “And they kept stabbing me, but I was able to fight them off and run away. I drove myself to the hospital after the attack.” 

        “Whose boyfriend did you sleep with?” Rose questioned with a blank face. 

        “Rose!” Frank snapped, sending a glare at Rose. 

        “What?” she questioned. “Well, obviously she must’ve did something to get targeted. Things like that don’t happen just because.” 

        “I didn’t do anything…” (Y/N) spoke, a bit annoyed.

        How dare she even accuse her daughter of sleeping around? Does she really think she got attacked by a vengeful girlfriend? Does she really think (Y/N) would stoop down that low? To sleep with a taken man? 

        (Y/N) doesn’t accept leftovers—so to hear her mother accuse her of being the catalyst of someone’s adultery really upset her. She had to bite back her tongue to the point she tasted some blood.

        I mean, yeah, she got attacked by a jealous and vengeful sister if that counts? But those are two completely different things! (Y/N) didn’t mean to steal Andrew away from Ashley, nor did she mean to kill her! And she didn’t even sleep with Andrew to begin with! 

        Andrew looked shocked, doing his best to keep his face neutral and not stare at Rose with disgust. I mean, who the hell tries to justify their daughter’s attempted murderer? 

        Andrew wasn’t sure if he should continue eating, watch the interaction, or pretend like he’s hearing nothing. 

        “Well, what were you wearing? Did you provoke him?” Rose questioned, tapping her fingers impatiently.

        (Y/N) walked to the kitchen, holding up her middle finger her mother’s way as she grabbed two bowls from her cupboard, putting pasta in them.

        “I just wore my nurse uniform.” She explained. “I stopped by my apartment, dropped off my phone to charge and left purse home. Then I went on a short walk around the park.” 

        “Perhaps it was a hate crime if you weren’t screwing someone’s boyfriend.” Rose hummed, accepting the bowl of goulash her daughter gave her. “You know how rowdy people are getting nowadays. Absolutely disgraceful some of them are. I mean, we nurses save their lives and they hate us for not being able to save anyone. What am I? God?”

        Fuck, I hope not. (Y/N) and Andrew thought at the same time. 

        “Well, sometimes people just have bad medical experience. Things happen.” (Y/N) spoke. “For all I know, he could’ve been experiencing a mental breakdown or perhaps an episode.”

        “You should stop involving yourself with men in general. Remember that last one?” Rose questioned. “Or, are you finally admitting that he was innocent and you’re a liar? Do you know how much we went through even after you left? All that money lost and—” 

        “Rose. That’s enough.” Frank spoke sternly, pointing his fork at Rose as (Y/N) placed his bowl down in front of him. “We talked about this on the way here. You need to be nicer to (Y/N). She doesn’t need your bitching after what just happened to her. We should be grateful she’s even alive.” 

        Rose looked at her husband agitated, her expression saying she was anything but grateful, but she decided to keep her mouth shut for now. 

        “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I guess the roadtrip has been a bit tiring for Rose. She’s a bit cranky, menopause and all.” Frank chuckled, doing his best to make light of the situation. 

        Rose shot him a nasty glare for that comment, one Frank ignored as he continued speaking.

        “So, Andrew, was it? How did you and (Y/N) meet?” Frank questioned, taking a bite of his food. “You didn’t meet her along the road and needed to stalk her home for her number or something, right?” 

        “Papa…” (Y/N) groaned, not appreciating the hostile vibes he was shooting Andrew’s way.

        “Right… um… How I met your daughter.” Andrew chuckled nervously, his eyes trailing over to (Y/N) in a ‘get me the fuck out of this conversation’ stare. 

        Oh God, the question (Y/N) was dreading. She can’t tell her parents that Andrew is her former patient! That’s so unprofessional of her to take him in and house him! Especially after she lied about them dating too! Not only that, but her mother would never let her live it down. Rose would judge her for the rest of her life! 

        “I approached him.” (Y/N) spoke up. “At the library when I transferred colleges. I thought he was cute, so I asked for his number.” 

        “Did you ask if he was single at the time?” Rose questioned, earning an annoyed stare from Frank and Andrew too.

        Does this lady ever shut up? Andrew thought to himself.

        “Yeah. She was studying… college things. There were some books on her table, and she was reading one about nursing.” Andrew spoke, forcing himself to make eye contact with Frank to try and be sincere despite the utter bullshit and lies he was spewing out his mouth.

        “What did you think of first about my daughter?” Frank questioned.

        What the hell was Andrew supposed to say to that? That’s a death trap for any man. He might as well be a fly sitting on a Venus flytrap, any wrong move (answer) and he’s dead! 

        His first thoughts of her while sitting on that hospital bed? ‘Fuck, a girl. Hopefully Ashley won’t bitch too much.’ Followed by ‘She’s pretty. Prettier than the girl in the apartment I murdered.’ 

        But he can’t just tell Frank that.

        “I was attracted to your daughter’s eyes.” Andrew spoke, mentally slapping himself in the head.

        Stupid! Every guy says that corny shit! 

        “Really now?” Frank questioned, looking at Andrew’s suspiciously. 

        Just accept it, Papa. (Y/N) thought to herself, practically sweating bullets on her side of the table. It’s better than saying he liked my chest! Just roll with it!

        “Good. Good answer…” Frank spoke, slowly nodding his head as if Andrew passed a test. “That’s a real good answer, boy. I mean, your looks will change all the time as you grow old, but your eyes stay the same for the most part. Unless you carve them out or something. Carve them out like pumpkin guts.” He spoke morbidly, a chuckle spreading throughout his lips. “But good answer.”

        “Don’t talk about eyeballs like it’s pumpkin seeds, Pa.” (Y/N) groaned.

        Stop trying to scare Andrew away from me. (Y/N) mentally pleaded, begging for who knows why. I’m craving pumpkin pie now though… 

        “Aha… yeah. Pumpkin guts.” Andrew laughed awkwardly, unsure if Frank was even speaking of a joke right now.

        “You know, speaking of good. This is some good food! Gourmet stuff right here! You should’ve been America’s master chef instead.” Frank complimented as he looked over at his daughter, pointing his fork to the bowl.

        “Thank you.” (Y/N) forced a smile, not wanting to accept the compliment. “But it could be better…” 

        “You’re right.” Rose nodded, taking a bite of her food and chewing it. “It’s too bland for my taste.”

        It wasn’t made for you. (Y/N) quickly retorted, looking at Rose blankly as she imagined lasers shooting out of her eyes.

        “I’ll keep that in mind the next time I make this…” (Y/N) spoke, her plastered smile wavering.

        The heavy tension between these two ladies is enough to break a knife cutting through, Andrew has decided.

        “I think it’s just perfect.” Andrew spoke up, avoiding Rose’s glare.

        That’s two against one; (Y/N) food wins against Rose’s tastebuds.

        “So, Andrew. How long have you known (Y/N) for?” Frank intervened, sending a wary glance Rose’s way. 

        Andrew looked at (Y/N) nervously, unsure what to say to that. 

        “A year now.” (Y/N) spoke up. “I met him not long after I moved here.”

        “Really? And we’re just now knowing about him?” Frank questioned, surprised.

        “I didn’t want to worry you.” (Y/N) shrugged, finishing her food. “Besides… I wanted to get to know him better before introducing you to him.”

        “I’m surprised you didn’t bring this one into court for stalking you.” Rose spoke, crossing her arms as she glanced at (Y/N). 

        “Mama…” (Y/N) hissed through her teeth, finally breaking down as she sent Rose a hateful glare back. “I don’t want to talk about this.” 

        “Then don’t.” Rose shrugged. “I want to. Andes or Drew or something like that. Did you know—“ 

        (Y/N) stood up from her seat, tightly holding her fork in one hand as if it was a weapon. “I said no, Ma.” 

        Rose looked up and down at (Y/N), unamused with (Y/N)’s act. 

        “Rose, stop.” Frank spoke, reaching to his side and holding his wife’s forearm. “Let’s not trigger her.” 

        “When you’re done eating, bring your dishes to me. I’ll clean them.” (Y/N) stated, before walking out of the dining table to the kitchen in almost a robotic fashion.

        Andrew was pretty curious of what (Y/N) didn't want him to know about, but he didn't want to ask Rose and risk talking to her more, and Frank might just kill him for even wondering.

        There was a pause in the dining room, nobody wanting to eat despite how good the food was, their appetites ruined by the tension. Andrew still ate every bite though, forcing it down despite feeling ill from Rose’s attitude.

        Andrew grabbed his crutches resting on the wall, standing up and taking his bowl and fork with him. Rose’s eyes sparkled, seeming to make a connection.

        “That’s why she’s with you!” Rose gasped. “She can’t settle for anyone else but a cripple!”

        “Rose!” Frank hissed, his grip tightening on Rose’s forearm.

        “Oh please, you know I’m right.” Rose huffed, before looking back at Andrew. “You had to settle for her.” 

        “What’s your deal?” Andrew questioned, his voice low so (Y/N) couldn’t hear their conversation. “Why are you such a bitch?” 

        Rose’s eyes sharpened, but her lack of reaction could only assume she’s heard that insult before. “You don’t know how much money we lost because of that attention-whore. She should’ve died that night…” Rose muttered lowly, her voice unwavering as she meant every word she said. 

        Frank shook his head, but his expression said he was anything but happy. “Stop it. You’re going too far.” Frank hissed. 

        Rose sent him a smug smirk, seemingly proud of what she just said. 

        “Hag…” Andrew spat her way, his hands balled up into fists as he tried not to do anything too drastic to turn this family reunion into a murder.

        Andrew hopped out of the kitchen, ignoring the small whispers Frank and Rose spoke as they bickered with one another. 

        (Y/N) stood at the sink with the faucet running, her hands scrubbing her clean bowl with a lost gaze. Who knows how long she’s been scrubbing that singular dish. 

        “(Y/N)…” Andrew whispered, his hand reaching out and touching her shoulder.

        “Huh?” (Y/N) jolted, almost dropping the bowl as she turned her head to him. “Andrew? Did you need something?”

        “Just wanted to give you this like you told me to.” Andrew spoke, placing his dishes in the sink.

        His hands snaked around her waist, a shiver wracking through (Y/N)’s body, reacting to the intimate touch. 

        “What are you doing?” she questioned lowly, a nervous feeling appearing in her chest. 

        “I’m just playing the part.” He muttered. “We’re dating now, yeah?” he smiled, almost cocky to throw her words back at her.

        “Uh… yeah…” she muttered, doing her best to relax her body, her back pressed against his chest as her body leaned into him without her consent.

        God, this is so wrong for me to be doing with my patient. Former patient? Roommate? Fuck, who knows at this point! (Y/N) thought, nervous as she avoided his eyes.

        Andrew leaned against her, whether it was to get closer or to support himself without his crutches, who knows. He rested his head on her shoulder, watching her shaky hands tend to the dirty dishes.

        “You know, I’m really not liking your mother.” Andrew admitted, letting out a sigh.

        His breath hit her ear, making her shiver at the reminder that he’s so close to her.

        “Well… it’s not like I chose her.” (Y/N) sighed.

        “Heh, wouldn’t that be great?” Andrew chuckled. “Choosing your own parents. That would be awesome…” 

        “Sorry for her behavior…” (Y/N) muttered. “She’s just… not really empathetic. Or sympathetic. Really, she doesn’t do well in the emotions department in general.” 

        “And I thought my parents were bad…” Andrew commented, shaking his head as he smiled.

        The movement just made her more aware of how close he was to her, pressing his body against her. She didn’t know if she wanted to hit him with a dish and run, or freeze and accept the once-in-a-lifetime affection she’ll probably ever have. 

        He smelt just like her shampoo, making her understand that this might just be a norm. That he might actually live with her longer than she expected. They’ll share the same roof, food, shower, and who knows what else.

        A wave of confidence washed over him, giving him the boldness of a drunk frat holding a pool cue. His hands moved from her waist to her sweater, fiddling with the muted pink cotton, far too close to her bare skin for her comfort as her bandages peeked out from underneath.

        “Watch your hands.” (Y/N) gritted under her teeth, shooting Andrew a warning glare.

        “Yes, ma’am…” he chuckled, his hands retreating, deciding to rest them on her hips. 

        He watched over her shoulder as she hurriedly finished the rest of the dishes, before stepping away from Andrew, no longer supporting his weight. Luckily, he had his crutches to catch him when she abandoned his side, creating a cushion of space between the two. 

        Frank and Rose both entered the kitchen, Frank’s bowl licked clean and Rose’s bowl half-eaten. (Y/N) took care of the dishes, her hands scrubbing them before she spoke up.

        “So how long are you guys going to be staying in town?” (Y/N) questioned, finishing a dish. 

        “We only planned to make sure you’re okay.” Frank spoke. “Are you doin' anythin' tomorrow?” 

        Great, the question every child dreads when their parents are in town. It’s not that she doesn’t want to hang with her father, but she doesn’t want to hang with her mother. 

        “I’ll be busy.” (Y/N) hummed. “Me and Andrew wanna go shopping together. We’ll probably go get lunch too.”

        “A lunch date, I see.” Frank nodded, his eyes trailing to Rose. “Well then, we’ll head out tomorrow mornin' and be out of your hair.” 

        “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” (Y/N) questioned, turning off the tap as she finished the dishes, drying her hands with a towel.

        “Hotels in the city are so expensive.” Rose grimaced, crossing her arms. “We figured we’d just stay the night here.” 

        “I’ll set up the sleeper sofa for you.” (Y/N) smiled.

        If my parents get the couch, then that means Andrew will have no place to sleep tonight. (Y/N) thought.

        (Y/N) looked at Andrew from across the room, not all that surprised to see him staring back. Their eyes came to the silent conclusion and agreement.

        They were sleeping together tonight.

        “I’ll go get some blankets and pillows for you both.” (Y/N) spoke.

        She walked past her parents and Andrew, placing her hand on his shoulder in a silent command for him to follow her. He did so without question.

        He hopped down the hallway, following her to her bedroom. 

        (Y/N) opened the door for him, before softly closing the door behind her. 

        “Okay… so, my parents are taking the sleeper, which is originally where I planned on having you sleep.” (Y/N) explained. “So… this means we’re going to be sharing a bed tonight.”

        “Yeah, I figured that much…” Andrew sighed, resting his crutches against the wall as he sat down on the bed, crossing his arms. 

        “That… that’s it?” she questioned, a bit perplexed. “No protests or complaints?” 

        “No, why?” he questioned, looking up at her. “You nervous?”

        “No, I’m not.” She scoffed, a smile appearing on her lips, almost laughing at the idea of herself being nervous to sleep with him for one night.

        Because in truth, she was. 

        “I’ll go get them their blankets. You can stay here.” (Y/N) spoke. “I don’t know about you, but I’m a bit tired. I’d rather not sit in the living room and talk with them… would you?” 

        “No.” Andrew spoke all too quickly.

        Her mother was a bitch, plain and simple. And her father was a bit intimidating, despite his attempts to get to know Andrew, Andrew couldn’t help but feel her father is waiting for just one word he doesn’t like slip out of his mouth before all hell could break loose. 

        “Good…” (Y/N) chuckled, smiling. “So, I’ll give them their stuff… then you and me camp out in here and watch some movies together?” 

        “Sounds like a plan.” Andrew nodded, kicking off his shoes and leaning back on her bed, his arms resting on her pillows lazily.  

        "Hey, elevate your legs." (Y/N) ordered, throwing two pillows his way.

        Andrew groaned in a small protest, but listened as he placed the pillows underneath his calves.

        (Y/N) left the room, walking into her supply closet and grabbing some blankets and pillows; she always kept extras so she can rotate her bedding while doing laundry. 

        “I’m sorry I couldn’t spend more time with you guys, and I’m sorry for worrying you two to where you had to come out here…” (Y/N) apologized, handing her parents their bedding for the night.

        “Hey, it’s no trouble.” Frank smiled. “Really, we wanted to make sure you were doing okay."

        “Thank you.” (Y/N) nodded, going to the couch and taking off the cushions, grabbing a handle that tugged the mattress out from underneath. “I appreciate your concern. I’m feeling just dandy; it doesn’t even hurt much.”

        Despite her words, there was indeed a hiss of pain that shot through her stomach when she bent over to grab the mattress, but she just ignored it. 

        (Y/N) made the bed for her parents, tucking in the blankets and fluffing the pillows. 

        “I’m sorry, I’m still pretty tired. I just got out of the hospital this morning so I think I’ll be going to bed early tonight. Is there anything I can get you guys beforehand?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “We’re fine.” Rose sighed. “We’ll be leaving tomorrow mornin', so don’t be surprised if you see us gone when you wake up.” 

        “Are you going to be fine with that man?” Frank questioned.

        “That man is my boyfriend, Papa.” (Y/N) chuckled, albeit faked. “I’ll be just fine.” 

        “If you say so.” Frank sighed. “But just holler if he causes any trouble to you.”

        “Got it.” (Y/N) nodded. “I’m going to go hit the hay. Goodnight, Papa. Goodnight, Mama.” 

        (Y/N) exited the living room, quickly rushing to her kitchen and retrieving some chips, packaged popcorn, and Hawaiian sweet bread she found lying around in her pantry. She grabbed a few water bottles before rushing to her bedroom so her parents couldn’t see the snacks. 

        (Y/N) quickly shut the door behind her, locking eyes with Andrew as he stayed in the same spot she left him in.

        “Here. I couldn’t grab much since they’re camping out in the living room.” (Y/N) spoke, placing the food on the bed. “Just try not to get any crumbs on the bed.” 

        Andrew nodded, his eyes trailing around the room, making a few notes of the minimal decorations and how bare it really looked. He knows now that she moved here about a year ago, but damn does she not have any personality? 

        “I’m going to go change into some pajamas…” (Y/N) spoke up. “I’ll find something for you too.” 

        “Thanks.” Andrew smiled.

        “Here. You can choose a movie while I search. I’m a fan of all genres.” (Y/N) spoke, grabbing her TV remote from her bedside and hanging it to Andrew. 

        She walked to a door that led to her closet, opening it and moving stuff around, before finding herself a simple long-sleeved nightgown to wear. She tossed that onto her shoulder, then looked around for something Andrew could wear.

        Luckily, she was a fan of baggy clothes, whether it was because she was feeling like wearing something oversized and comfortable, or she would wear it on cleaning days. She grabbed a shirt and sweatpants for Andrew, handing it over to him before retreating to her bathroom to change. 

        She changed into her nightgown, deciding to save Andrew some extra time to change. She took her day clothes and threw it in her laundry basket, hiding the dirty and tacky state merchandise clothes she wore earlier while burying Ashley. She also removed the bloody bandages off her arm, revealing the fresh cuts she made this morning using the broken shards from the vase earlier.

        The cuts burned at the exposure to oxygen, a throbbing sensation going up her arm. She grabbed rubbing alcohol from under her sink and some toilet paper, pouring the disinfectant onto the cloth and dabbing it on her cuts to prevent any infections. She wrapped her arm with new bandages, calling it a day as she shoved the supplies back under her sink cabinet. 

        She brushed her hair in her mirror, washing her face with water and drying it off, before deciding she’s given Andrew enough time to change into his sleepwear. She unlocked her bathroom door, opening it and walking out, closing the door behind her.

        Andrew was back to laying in her bed, but at least he was dressed appropriately for sleep. The remote was in his hand as he scrolled through the movies, uninterested in it all.

        “Do you have a favorite genre?” (Y/N) inquired, crawling into bed.

        She kept her distance from him, cresting a invisible barrier between the two. He was still a man after all, two broken ankles or not.

        “Uh… not really…” Andrew shrugged.

        It’s not like he could remember much anyways, just what happened at his old apartment complex. He was just glued to the couch watching the news all the time, waiting for an update on when the damn quarantine will be done so he can get some food.

        “Well, are you in a laughing mood? Crying mood? Family-friendly mood?” (Y/N) questioned.

        “Yeah, I’m not one to get emotional over movies…” Andrew sighed. “Why? Is that something you do?”

        “Hey, dogs and kids dying in movies are really sad.” (Y/N) huffed playfully, taking the remote from his hand.

        (Y/N) scrolled through the movies, both sharing bored and disinterested look on their face as they scrolled through the channels together. She threw a bag of chips his way, watching from the corner of her eye as she caught it.

        He opened the bag, shoving some in his mouth before holding a chip in his hand, bringing it to (Y/N)’s mouth. She accepted the  chip, opening her mouth as he placed it on her tongue, watching as she closed her mouth and chewed. 

        Andrew glanced back at the TV, watching as (Y/N) scrolled through the movies, before his eye caught something.

        “Wait, stop.” Andrew spoke, causing her to stop her aimless scrolling and look over at him. “Scroll back up.”

        She listened, slowly scrolling up, before he made her stop on one movie.

        “Seriously?” (Y/N) groaned, looking at Andrew with a half-hearted glare.

        “Yeah.” He smirked, looking at her with a smug expression. “Why? You scared?”

        “Ugh, please.” She scoffed, selecting the movie, pressing play. “Like I’d be scared of this. It’s just some ghosts haunting a house.” 

        “Hey, shush! Don’t spoil it!” Andrew hushed, shoving some more chips into her mouth. 

        She playfully rolled her eyes, yet smiled as she relaxed back into her pillows. 

        Andrew chose The Conjuring to watch, which means (Y/N) won’t be walking down any basement stairs or looking in any mirrors tonight (or for the next few days, possibly weeks). If the bed starts rattling from a ghost or demon, may any God have mercy on that poor undead fellow because she won’t. 

        Maybe Andrew was a fan of horror movies before losing his memory? Perhaps he remembers liking horror movies? Or perhaps it was just the only semi-interesting thing to watch.

        It wasn’t long before the two actually got intrigued with the movie, focusing their attention on the dark screen—(Y/N) had even turned off the lights for this. 

        It’s unknown who moved closer (most likely Andrew), but by the time she registered their close proximity, he had placed his arm behind her shoulders, pulling her closer to him to where she rested in his side. 

        She opened her mouth to speak, before inevitably staying quiet. Maybe it was because she was focusing on the movie, or maybe it was because she kind of liked the affection. Whatever it was, she decided it wasn’t worth mentioning. Maybe if they both just stayed quiet about it, it wouldn’t ever be brought up or thought about again. 

        The warmth of his body was a foreign sensation she’s never felt. Her chest almost hurt at this newfound intimacy, and she wondered if she was expecting heart palpitations for a second. She’s never held or cuddled someone, and there was absolutely no desire to after what’s happened in the past, but maybe she’ll enjoy it for once and hopefully it won’t backfire in her face like everything else has in life. 

        Andrew lazily fed himself chips with one hand, his arm wrapped around (Y/N)’s shoulders as he subconsciously rubbed her shoulder relaxingly with his free hand. The position felt almost natural to him, something that didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable or forced. 

        (Y/N) stared at the TV in a daze, a wave of tiredness hitting her. Her whole body felt warm and in a trance as she leaned more into Andrew’s side, before finally resting her head onto his chest. 

        Andrew glanced down at her, a soft smile spreading on his lips as his eyes drooped in fondness and adoration, one he wouldn’t let her see so soon of knowing her. His hand that was originally rubbing her shoulder instead moved and started playing with her hair, gently scratching her scalp and weaving his fingers through her hair.

        (Y/N) let the last bit of her restraint go, closing her eyes as her ears ignored the TV’s spooky music playing. She let out a small appreciative sigh as Andrew pulled the blankets higher up to cover her better. It felt so damn good being taken care of for once, that if she wasn’t so tired, she’d be bawling her eyes out right now.

        But he was a murderer; and so was she. Why are they capable of such gentleness and hospitality despite committing such horrendous things? 

        Maybe it’s because murderers are humans too. They were just like us before they were labeled murderers. If there’s a way (Y/N) can redeem herself of such a negative title, she’d take it. Maybe even Andrew could redeem too. 

        But if bad things happen to good people, then does good things happen to bad people? It makes her wonder how long this good thing will last, after all, nothing good ever happens to (Y/N), or at least it doesn’t stay long.

        Ah, who gives a damn… (Y/N) thought, her arms wrapping around Andrew’s waist as she relaxed in his arms, enjoying the feeling of his hands running through her hair. 

        Hopefully, now she’s done a bad thing and is arguably a bad person depending on who you ask, maybe she’ll finally start getting good things. 

        She knows one thing now. If Andrew could make her feel this damn good despite not even being here for 24 hours, then she can’t let him leave her. She’ll keep this affection and warmth all to herself.

        It’s time for (Y/N) to take what she wants now. 

Chapter 6 is done! I actually have chapter 7 all pieced out and what I want to do for that chapter, so the next chapter we're having tons more drama, a new and important character introduction (just a little spoiler for you, they're a yandere). Patience is always appreciated.

Want more Andrew Graves content? Check out the Andrew Graves masterlist!

Inbox is OPEN for questions about the story and new plotlines/ideas, not for requests!

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, current chapter, Chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9 (in the works)

Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!

[parkersgnome]

⭐️Mima Rants⭐️

I remember coming across slideshow on tik tok this about a year ago, and even *I* (as someone who used to be grossed out by proshipping) thought was ridiculous…

This is the title of the slideshow.

Just a heads up guys, just like our favorite ships, None of these stories are real.

And if they were based on actual events, wouldn’t it make more sense to make a video about that instead of making up shit that never happened?

But, Let’s go through each of these as if they were real stories, shall we?

First one

“Caleb uses the internet to deal with his trauma”, Alright, I’m gonna stop you right there.

Isn’t “Staying off the internet is beneficial for your mental health” something we learned in, idk, fucking grade school? Cyber safety PSAs in middle school? Something that dozens of people have screeched from the top of their lungs since social media was invented?

Who the heck told him that being on the internet was going to help with his trauma and improve his mental health???

His feelings are valid, I get that. He has every right to be disturbed by Sage’s writings and fantasies. However, it seems that Sage isn't encouraging these actions in real life and keeps them strictly within fiction. As long as it’s in text or art, Sage has every right to express his fantasies.

Anyways, Caleb should seek a better therapist who can teach him better coping mechanisms like going out for walks, yoga, baking, or some other fourth thing instead of browsing social media where there’s a good chance he can run into something that makes him uncomfortable.

Next one…

“Jackie is 10-”

Yeah no no no no no no.. no… NO.

10-years-old. That’s, like, what? 4th grade? Shouldn’t Jackie be watching cartoons, playing with toys, or better yet, playing outside? Why did her parents give her internet access? Why aren’t they monitoring what their elementary schooled daughter is watching online?

If Charlie was going out of her way to promote this to minors then I would say she’s in the wrong, but this story never implies whether her content was specifically targeted to and/or letting minors come on to her account.

I've never seen proshippers create accounts specifically targeting children. If Charlie makes it clear her content isn't for kids, then it's not her fault if some random little girl she doesn’t know ends up consuming it.

If Jackie thought this was normal and ended up being groomed/assaulted by her brother, then it is her parent’s fault for neglecting her online safety and allowing her to access adult-targeted content at an age when media literacy is at an all time low.

The last one

“dEGenErates LiKE hiM 🤓” 💀💀

Once again, unless you can present to me a REAL LIFE incest/pedophilia case where proshipping was involved, this is not a valid argument that fiction affects reality.

Alas, we're treating these stories as if they were real. If Trey feels compelled to SA his sister after seeing writings or drawings of problematic ships, this suggests he’s likely an untreated mentally ill individual, especially since he can't differentiate fiction from reality.

What? If Trey played GTA V and started shooting and robbing a bank because he wanted to be like Trevor Phillips, should we consider banning violent video games?

As proshippers, we do not endorse real-life criminals and genuinely terrible people. The essence of proshipping is that all negative or degenerate actions should be confined to fiction. Understand?

End of discussion.

Anyway, as ridiculous as that slideshow was, please refrain from harassing or bothering the artist who made it. They have the same freedom of speech we do, and stooping to harassment and bullying wouldn't make us any better than antis who promote such behavior.

[blanketforcas]

Would you call yourself a proshipper then? Are you fine with people shipping incest, pedophilia, abuse etc? because what proshipping really stands for is having zero restrictions as to what is allowed in shipping, even harmful and taboo things, and if you aren’t fine with all that, or “pro” that, I’d be seriously cautious using that term. Because that’s what proshipping actually is, not what “antis” have made it out to be.

yes anon i don't believe thought crimes are real.

and you know what makes life so easy for us folks who are easily squicked out by "problematic" content? the fact that you can simply not go looking for it and block the tags you need to block!

there have always been people who enjoy things in fiction (fiction!) that they would never even consider in real life. that is and has never been a problem. the actual harmful thing is when people advocate for censorship cause censorship only leads to people finding loopholes. and you know what will suck for you and me, anon, when it comes to that? those tags we blocked won't work anymore.

i'd encourage you to research the dangers of censorship, cause that is what you're promoting. you think you're being helpful but what you're actually doing by posing the question "what content is so harmful we should ban it and shame everyone who engages in it?" is giving a gun to the oppressor who will eventually think that you're too problematic too.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

is it disrespectful to masturbate to the thought of my friend? i recently realized i have a crush on my bestie (we're both gay) and last night i had a sex dream about them. it was really hot so i masturbated while imagining having sex with them when i woke up. i feel conflicted about it though because 1) we've been friends for almost 12 years, 2) they don't know i have a crush on them, and 3) we're both in relationships. in case it matters my relationship is at the end of its life and we're gonna break up once the lease ends, while theirs is new and going well afaik. please don't say "do whatever you want forever", i stopped taking that advice seriously once incest and pedophilia apologists started saying it

hey man having a horny dream about someone you have a crush on is normal and value neutral and also you don't have control over your dreams, which means it's kind of impossible for a dream to be disrespectful. jacking off thinking about a real human person is fine; the thing that would be wrong would be if you were, say, breaking into your friend's house to do this, or sending them unwanted details of your sexual fantasies.

having said that I would like to politely express that the last thing you said is insane and I would encourage thinking before telling someone that they're parroting "incest and pedophilia apologists," terms that I find have been watered down to be virtually less than meaningless on this particular hellsite.

[neetily]

↳ EVENT 45. Sebastian (Jealousy Sex & Incest)

— ✧ warnings: Jealousy Issues, jealousy sex, Incest, stepcest, Pseudo-Incest, Manipulation, clueless!reader, dubcon, Cheating, Creampie — ✧ word count: 3,197

— ✧ A/N: reposting from my old account since i was asked to! formatting might be off, but it's still readable.

There are many perks that come with being the eldest sibling. For one, his word is final. Always has been, really. Even when you were half his size and sporting those baby fat chubby little cheeks, cute little pout on your lips; didn't matter what he said, he knew you would always listen to him regardless. Because that's what little sisters do, right? They listen well to their big brothers, always relying on him to know exactly what you should do at any given moment.

It's not his fault that you're gullible to a T.

Another benefit is that he's always right too. So even if you whinge and complain at his bossing around, he knows just how easy you are to tire out, because you know just how right he really is. He hasn't failed you yet, has he? No matter the circumstances, you can trust him to be right when it comes to you. No you shouldn't wear that skirt to that party, promise I'm not looking at you any kind of way, you should probably pick up some more panties now that we're out. Always, always, Sebastian is right. Like he always says to you: Big brothers intuition. And you never seem to fight him too hard on it, which is good. It's preferred. It's easier that way, for you too, right? There's no need to use that empty little head of yours when he's around!

Perhaps his favourite perk of being your big brother, however, is how much he's trusted with you. Not just from how much trust you personally put in him, though to know that you depend on him for daily life things is sweet enough as it is. It's even better when his mom and your dad leave you all alone with him for an extended weekend, as is usually the case at least once a month. Date night or whatever, he never cared too much for the reasons, too focused on the fact that he has free reign access to you completely for a few days. Yeah, yeah. I'll babysit her— even in your adulthood. Ignorant to his real intentions, all involved remain blissfully unaware of just how degenerate he truly is— especially when it comes to you.

If they did, he'd never be allowed near you again.

He'd hoped to have waited a little bit longer, though. Sweetened you up some more, have you perched right on the edge of confession before enacting his perverted fantasies upon you; and yet here you are, laying under him so pliantly, submissively sniffing up at him as he lines his red hot leaking tip up to your sopping little hole as if it were natural to do so, and not some forced plotline from the plenty incest pornos he's watched. If only y'hadn't brought your boyfriend over last night, yeah? Taking the prime opportunity your parents have offered you and running with it— a free house, of course you had to invite him over. You might be dumb, but you're not stupid, he expected as much. Encouraged it, even. Wanted you to enjoy yourself before charming you for a night, letting you mess around before making you all his. What you didn't have to do was get plowed by your boyfriend so hard all night long, and keep your loving, doting, wanting brother awake with a fist pumping away frantically at his rock hard cock, listening intently to the forced moans you let out from your locked room.

That, might make you stupid.

Don't you think he deserves a go, too? After all, he's your big brother. You should be wanting to offer him up some hole too, yeah?

It's not difficult to see just how jealous he is deep down. He's not trying to hide it very well, his muscles tight as he looms above, eyes squinting down at you. Sure, he knew that you had a boyfriend, but that's just a little play time, right? Deep down, you know exactly who you belong to. You should have known better than to disrespect him in his house by moaning so prettily for another man, so it's only fair that you suffer some consequences. Don't you know just how long he's been waiting, planning, scheming to make you his? He doesn't so much mind that you aren't a virgin, but rather than you chose to fuck some other guy in his house. Makes his tummy turn with upset.

"Um... You're like, absolutely sure that this isn't cheating, Sebby?" Your body quivers with your shaky words, batting your eyelashes up at him so prettily like that, he's forced to take a moment to collect himself before giving you an answer. Poor baby, is big brother being mean to you? He's only giving you what you deserve, afterall.

With his cock head still slipping between your folds, smearing precum all over your puffy little sister clit, he offers you a faux sweet sigh of relief. "Promise, silly," He lightly scolds you, flashing you a playful smile to hopefully break you in, wear you down enough so that it's easier for you to give him what he wants. It's all he has to do at the end of the day, dupe you onto his side. "I'm your big brother, right? We're just playing. That's all! You aren't doing anything wrong, okay?"

It takes you a moment to fully comprehend his words, but the meek little nod up at his lies fills him with so much joy immediately, lust pooling in his tummy upon earning your coerced consent. Bad big brother, isn't he? Taking advantage of your innocence, letting his tip drool precum all over your cute little sister cunt with corrupting intent; fuck, such a pretty pussy you've got, it's a shame he's had to wait so long to fuck it.

"If big brother says so..."

"'Zactly, you got it," He coos down at you softly, extending a hand to help fluff up the pillow under your head for you to be as comfortable as possible, his chest tight at the sound of your cute giggled thanks to contrast the way that his cock still twitches against your slit. Just playing, just a little play time with your beloved big bro, that's all! "You trust me, don't you?" he preys on your people pleasing tendencies, fist squeezing tight at the base of his cock just to tap his tip against your clit a few times. An action that earns a gasp from you, and himself at the heated connection, precum string keeping him connected to you as he sucks in some air through his teeth. "Don't you love me?"

Rotten to the core, he figures that he'd never be able to express to you just how much he adores that look of absolute worry on your pretty face, flustering to reassure him that yes, you do love him! yes, you do trust him! After all, he's taken such good care of you thus far, right? It's just— there's that big brother itch, y'know? Forever gnawing at him, body begging for him to indulge, to satisfy you better than your boyfriend could ever, to have you relying him for even this. God, he can imagine it even now as he hovers above you, one hand lightly stroking at his cock, the other stabilising himself next to your head. Images of having you wander into his room late at night, tugging sheepishly at your shirt, rubbing your legs together with blushy cheeks. Can you help me, big brother? That's the fucking dream, y'know?

"Then, you want to play too, right?" He cocks his head at you, clearly seeking an obvious answer; of which you give almost immediately with a quick head nod, shyly chewing on your bottom lip as he smiles down at you lovingly. You're so easy to manipulate, he thinks. Serving yourself up on a silver platter for his selfish desires. Dirty wants, lewd wishes. So pretty when you're being such a shy baby too, his shy little sister, on her back for him with your legs hiked up to allow him space between them. You're prettiest when you're unwittingly submitting to him, he thinks.

And it's nice to know that this was all your idea, right? Wasn't it? He could have swore...

Sighing deeply, he lets his cock drag down to your hole instinctively, tip catching on it slowly, showing you restraint only because he doesn't want to scare you off too much. If he had it his way, he'd have you folded in half already, turning you into some sort of squeaky toy from how many hiccups he'd like to fuck outta ya. But alas, he genuinely treasures you too— even if he has a funny way of showing it. Giving you a quick plain look once he's properly situated between your legs, an eyebrow raised at the way you immediately tense up under his gaze, but the glassy eyes and trembling lips that greet him back provide enough consent for him to just— push. Just a little, popping his tip into your tight little sister cunt for the first time ever and God, he— "Fuck me," He whispers to himself, voice all trembly and caught in his throat at the sheer tightness of your cunt, jealousy burrowing deeper in his tummy at the way he can finally feel that your boyfriend hasn't been fucking you right; so not only have you been messing around with someone unworthy behind his back, but the guy hasn't even been taking care of you properly? Dummy, big brother was here the whole time— He'll just have to fuck you well enough to force you into requiring his dirty touch instead, yeah? Get you away from your pathetic play thing and back into big brothers loving arms and twitching cock, leaking precum to collect at your hole, can you feel the way it gushes out around his cock as he pushes further in? Unable to keep holding back for you, driven to claim you as his own by the way your face scrunches up cutely as he makes you feel the burn of every. Single. Inch.

"Tight cunt, shit—" He heaves above you, not missing the way you mewl and whine pitifully for him, struggling to accept the stretch his fat cock offers you, but doing so well, doing your best to impress big brother, aren't you? "Shh, it's okay. Gonna look after you, like always, yeah?" He hushes your feeble sounds, little baby babbles that only make his cock harder, to be honest. "Jus' gotta trust big brother, all y'gotta do is sit there and look pretty— easy."

And though he's doing his best to reassure you, pushing his hips all the way until they rest against your ass, balls deep in the one hole he's supposed to avoid, he can't help but to shiver himself at the amount of hedonistic pleasure that comes with taking you like this. Under false pretence, soothing his own self indulgent jealousy by way of letting his precum stain your insides sticky, his eyes rolling to the back of his head at the way your cunt is so warm and soft for him, walls squirming around his fat cock so nicely, like your body just knows how much better he can treat you as compared to your boyfriend.

Pinned under him, at the mercy of his restraint, he gives you a barely audible "Gonna move now, kay?" through gritted teeth. Doesn't even wait for your response before moving, far too lost in the reality of dragging his hips back, only to push them back gently inside of his baby sister, into your little cunt, gasping loudly at the way she squelches for him, fuckin' soaked for big brother, yeah? Pretty body is just begging for him to look after you, sucking his cock off so well already— better than anything he's ever experienced before; which is why you're his little sister, right? It makes sense, he thinks, settling into a comfortable enough pace to have you gripping at his arms for grounding, his eyes glued to your pretty tits as they bounce with every easy thrust of his hips; nice and easy, for now. You're his sister, so you're made perfect for him, yeah? Cock slotting inside of your cute cunt so easily, wrapped around him so tightly that it's almost a little winding if he's honest. But that's a good thing, huffing above you with furrowed brows at the subtle sounds he rocks out of you, every thrust intent on winning you over, back where you belong— on the end of his cock. A squirming, moaning, little sister mess for him to fully enjoy in the privacy of the empty house.

Which is disgusting, right? How much he yearns for you, deciding himself who you belong to, simply because he can. Gross how every single thrust of his pervert cock into your squishy little cunt is purposeful, precise as he picks up the pace as soon as you're settled, stroking himself off as if you were his favourite onahole, dirtying your insides like it was a practiced routine, a natural conclusion to his relationship with you. And you look so cute taking your big brothers cock, you can't expect him to resist those soft sounds, right? Coaxing him into fucking you harder with the pretty pout you give him, convincing him to grip one hand at your waist to help bounce you back down his cock with tandem movements, a sly smirk tugging on his lips at the increased volume of your moans, breaking out into breathless laughter above you when you arch your back into his touch.

"Feelin' good?" He slurs for you, balls slapping against your ass with the quicker pace he humps you into, wet skin on skin echoing in his room to match the sweet suck of your cunt, gushing slick around the base of his cock every time he bullies his way to the hilt. Tiny fucking cunt, making him feel so good, shivering into you with every heavy fuck forward, trembling with you every time he drags your cunt back down his length. He'll fuck you into his shape if it's the last thing he ever does, completely and utterly in love with how good you make him feel, and you aren't even doing any of the work. "C'mon, tell big brother how it feels— fuck, got s'tight baby," He breaks out into a genuine smile, immediately clocking on to the fact that you're getting off to hearing his voice, like a fucking degenerate. Just like him, yeah? Two peas in a filthy, perverted, cock dribbling, cunt squirming, sibling fucking pod. "Better than your boyfriend, right? S'okay, y'can be— shit, please be honest with me—" He can't help but to want to hear you stroke his ego, pounding you into his bed sheets like it was any other normal weekend. The springs in his bed squeaking under his fast fucks, you should be thankful that he's pinning you in place, effectively locked you in under him as he ruts against you unfairly, hand on your hip as your legs cling to has waist for dear life.

And it's difficult to hear you through the babbled moans he fucks out of you, high pitched sobs of enjoyment for his cock to twitch at, cute little cunt clenching around him every time he tugs you down his girth. And then when he buries himself aaaall the way inside, tip kissing against your sweet spot almost on purpose as if to make the act of talking itself difficult for you, your words get cut off with a pretty silent gasp. He can't help himself, you're just too cute when you're acting so helpless for him. "It's— Seb—! Better, promise— so good." You eventually choke out, interrupted by sweet hiccups and sniffles, doing so well not only by taking his cock, but by calming his unjust jealousy with such simple words. Because he fucking believes you when you say it too, how can he not? The bright blush you wear on your cheeks, eyes squeezed tightly shut as your back arches so prettily for him, voice all strained and interrupted by whines and sighs with every little jerk of his cock deep inside of you. He knew he could fuck you better, because big brothers are always right, remember?

"Bigger too, yeah? Fuckin' you so deep, feel that?" He urges you, hand on your tummy to apply the smallest amount of pressure, but it's enough to have you fucking sobbing on his cock. Little cunt gripping him so tightly that he can barely move for a second or two, in awe of how pretty you look when creaming his cock for the first time ever as your hole starts to convulse around the base of it, and he's caught unaware. Like a deer in headlights, his eyes wide open and blown black with lust, trying to imprint in his mind the cute face of bliss you wear when jerking his cock off with your orgasm for use later tonight, he's never felt so honestly good before; it's so fucking unfair.

He'd liked to have fucked you for longer, fold you in half like he's always wanted to. But as he's quickly following suit, triggered by your intense wave of pleasure, his own orgasm takes hold of him and he's gripping your waist with both hands so harshly. Digging his nails into your soft skin, bucking sloppily, messy little sounds reaching his ears as you writhe and whine for him, your name falling from his lips in a soft sigh of sheer desperation. Still yet fucking you full as he shoots his big brother cum into your tiny cunt, wincing at the way his load seeps out around his cock to stain his sheets all sticky; just like your insides.

And he doesn't stop fucking you, only slows down. Even when he's done and fully milked, he continues to rut into you, trying to prolong how good he feels in a vain effort to quell the bubbling jealousy in his heart.

Because even now, after he's fucked you thoroughly, promised you that he'd take care of you, he can't help but to indulge a little further. You've yet to answer his question, so like a good big brother, he reminds you of it while you catch your breath.

"Bigger too, right?" He laughs without pause, head hanging low to try and collecting himself after exerting so much energy into making you cum on his cock, trying to reconcile with how fucking pretty you looked just moments ago, and how he just knows (big brother intuition) that you've ruined him for anyone else now. "Should jus' start using me instead—" He heaves, cringing as he inevitably has to pull out of your warm little cunt and some of his seed spills down your ass with him. But fuck if it isn't the prettiest thing he's ever seen either, all sloppy with seed, so cute.

"Promise I'll always be there to help y'out always. Like a good big brother."

[afab-toy]

Lost my ability to message and interact so remade~

Call me whatever petname or degrading insult you like, I also answer to Toy. (My favorites are Princess and Baby) I'm a 25 year old prelubed hole for trans girls, real trans men, chasers- anyone and everyone who wants to use the cunt of a fakeboy who looks underage. Not on T, never started, no surgeries. He/they irl but she/her here ❤💙

Will be infrequent and most likely won't have long term chats- nothing personal. Love all my mutuals but the horny wires in my mind don't cross very often 😔

Won't tag things unless I make the post so follow with discretion. Also may update this as things go on. Will send tit pics in dms, no explicit cunt pics (unless you want to buy me something 💙❤)

Will post/into: most hard kinks, misgend/detrans, cnc, breeding, incest/fauxcest, somno, ageplay/big age gap, bondage, knifeplay/weaponplay, breeding, cockwarming, monsterfucking, looking underage, intox, petplay, corruption, overstimulation

A little: Blood, my own pics

Not into (you can follow if you are just don't try to involve me in it): scat, vore, feederism, AB/DL

DNI, BLOCK ON SIGHT: Ageless, real transphobia/misogyny/terfs/zionists, sh/ed/ana/⭐ving,

This blog is a consenting fantasy between adults I do not condone or encourage anything I post about in real life. Be kind. I have the right to block whoever I want whenever I am made uncomfortable. I do not want a relationship.

[tcoaal]

what does proship mean? /gen

does it mean you like bad ships like pedophilia or abuse or is it were you accept ships and don't harass over them no matter who gross they are?

you know what i'm fairly confidant you're trying to bait me but instead of posting a meme response like i was going to out of annoyance i'm going to try my best to answer this while ignoring your judgmental tone and holier-than-thou attitude with your dick in your hand, and if you have genuine questions about what being proship means i highly encourage you to leave it at the door when asking these questions because you're kind of being a condescending prick :)

being proship/profiction is the belief that what somebody ships and what fictional content they consume does not reflect who they are as a person and their real life morals, it is to accept that they like something -including what you are deriding as bad ships and gross things- without judging them. for example: i am -what a shock given my url!- a very publicly coffin of andy and leyley blog that ships gravecest which even beyond family includes two extremely toxic co-dependent people. this does not reflect on who i am as a person or anything i believe in. i just like a ship.

so yes. i do like some icky bad ships like you're afraid of (although to be honest i think like, coffincest is like the only incest ship i care about at all and also belos/luz from the owl house is like my only really big dead dove ship outside of that) and are trying to talk down to me about it! but even before then, hell even when i was an anti i was always put off guard by how hostile people around me were.

being proship does not mean you have to ship those things, actually. in fact: there's a lot of proshippers who are actively uncomfortable with things like ships with pedophilia, abuse, incest, etc! they simply understand it doesn't reflect on that person. does that make sense? i'm one of those icky gross people you clearly hate: but even if i wasn't, in those days, i still detested the cruelty exhibited by those around me that pretended to care about what was good for society.

does that clear it up? if you have more questions, either have the balls to come off anon or leave your attitude at the door, ty <3

[darklinaforever]

I don't know if you know or even care judging by your heartless attitude and those of the anons baiting, but Grace has been discharged from the hospital. She just needed a few stitches. Her brother has said Grace is actually not meant to be on social media as it's hugely triggering for her, plus she has a history of making posts that spark harassment etc because her takes are seen as discriminatory etc. He thought it was the same old situation again and doesn't get the whole plagarism thing. I messaged him the screencaps Grace took of her post and yours and he thought she had written both posts which says it all. He's not really interested in that tbh. However he has contacted law enforcement for advice regarding the harassment claims - they have seen the screencaps of everything but the fact Grace deleted her blog has caused hassle. Without an actual account to trace the IPs then it gets complicated. They recommend getting legal representation in the meantime and to contact Tumblr directly. Grace's injuries have been photographed and filed, so has the whole plagarism thing as background but they're not really interested in that either. It's more about the threats. I don't know if you were involved but apparently the officer said they have to have actual evidence in terms of the original situation motivating a backlash from your followers. But it's sketchy and we can't make unproven allegations. He said so far there's no actual proof online of you goading people to go after Grace. Your responses are not enough to indicate this. If the case goes ahead and they uncover evidence, then yes, they will then act. Tbh, they're not really being helpful with this as they are implying it's a waste of their time and resources. The officer admitted that your post was probably plagarised but that's it.

I'm going to cut it off there as I've wasted enough time on this. I hope Grace learns her lesson and stays off this hellsite. The only good thing about this is all my mutuals and theirs have now blocked you if they hadn't already. I've heard a lot about you over the past 24 hours and none of it is good.i had no idea who you were before or I'd have moved to act sooner to protect Grace from you. God knows how many vulnerable people you fucked up ready. I'm hearing crazy things about you defend paedophelia, you pretend to be bi to express Anti LGBTQ opinions and get away with it etc. I don't know if this is true but who knows. I just think you are a really dangerous individual and people are taking your opinions at face value as fact. Anyone who challenges you is immediately called crazy and deluded and then subjected to abuse. Grace could have killed herself over this and for what? Some idiot copying her post? I feel you have a lot of unhealthy thoughts and feelings and post them here because in real life you'll get trouble for it. I don't really care. I just think you're absolutely vile and people should block you for their own safety.

1. I don't pretend to be Bi. I am bisexual woman. And I have never declared anything anti-LBGT. I'm just not comfortable with changing the on-screen gender of a male character who has been exist for years. It's still crazy to be called queerphobic for that.

(If you look at my tumblr account, I'm currently obsessed with the ship Catwin and Dead Boy Detectives in general ! 😂)

2. I am not defending pedophilia. Not even incest, because I'm also accused of that. Shipping fictional characters has nothing to do with real life. You need to get treatment.

3. The same people who say I'm anti LGBT also accuse "Grace" of also being anti-LGBT, by the way. Just to show you the level of stupidity these people have.

4. There is no evidence that my subscribers have harassed anyone ! And if they did, I NEVER in any way encouraged that to happen. As for this girl (apparently named Grace), I literally said that if it was true, it was sad, but I had nothing to do with it, and that I hoped she would get better. (How does that make me heartless?) But once again, I DIDN'T PLAGIARIZE HER, I didn't harass her, and I didn't encourage anyone to harass her (or other people) either.

I am a person who stays in my tags on tumblr. I almost never go to other people's blogs and even less to harass them with anonymous messages. At this point, I am the one who has been the victim of harassment by antis who are spreading bullshit about me and it continues now.

If this whole story is true, I wish Grace well, but I didn't plagiarize her, nor did I send anyone to harass her. And that's just the truth. Whether you believe me or not I don't care, I have a clear conscience and that's all that matters.

[dirksawesomesprites]

Sorry for that one comment I sent you. I just wanted my requests done, and didn't want to be blocked for being a proshipper. If you want a definition of proshipper I'll give it to you.

Proshipper: Pro is a prefix, not short gor problematic. That's wordplay.Someone who is for shipping, regardless of ship; anti-anti. Can sometimes correspond with anti-censorship, pro-fiction, or anti-harassment. This term has sometimes been twisted by antis via wordplay as a way to harrass proshippers for what they ship because they deem it problematic.

Just finish my requests and be done with it, okay? Even the Geno sprite.

i dont harass proshippers, i leave them alone because they probably get enough hate as it is. i just block them so i dont have to deal with them.

the pro in proship means support, not problematic. i know that. it is pro-any ships. including stuff like incest or pedophilla. which is why i dont like to interact with them. if they arnt hurting anyone or being weird about it? i dont care.

ive been acused of being a proshipper enough to know the hate they get bombarded with, and im not going to encourage people to do the same to others. ive been harassed enough in my life and i dont want others to experiance that aswell. im not saying go harass shitsolkat or the favship blog whatever their name was. but i dont support them.

proshippers can do what they want, i dont care, aslong as it is not harmful or they are proclaiming that incest and pedophilla is ok.

i understand that most proshippers indulge in that to cope with truama or maybe other issues that do not concern me. but other times it could be a mask to protect them from being seen as an actual pedo or someone who indulges in real incest. i dont care if its of fictional characters, it dosnt effect me? but when its real people like eddsworld for example, that effects actual people. which isnt cool.

i dont like incest, pedophilla, whatever proshippers indulge in. but im not going to support it. ive made it clear i dont like them. but im not going to harass them. nor will i encourage my following to do so either.

listen i dont care what you do behind close doors, you or any other person. but when youre public about it dont expect people to be accepting, especially if you identify as something people dont agree with, like a proshipper. i honestly dont give a shit. i just dont want it on my dash.

i hope you guys can read this and understand. i know proship does not stand for problematic ship. im pretty well educated believe it or not, i just dont like to talk about stuff like this unless necessary like now, because my frequent typos and not the best grammer makes me look worse. but i do know what im talking about. im not trying to flex or something but as someone who has had college level academic scores since middle school and and know most shit adults dont i think i have a place here to talk.

again im not trying to "flex" my knowlage, just trying to show people im not an idoit and why i feel like i know enough to speak on this matter. i know what the pro prefix means. its the same pro used in things like prolife procensoreship whatever.

sorry for this long post but i need to clear things up

i am not a proshipper. thank you very much roxy and tree eridan for telling people so. /sarc

i do not hate proshippers. you can interact with my posts, but just know im not on your side. i will just ignore or block you.

and to my followers? dont harass proshippers, or any people deemed "problematic" if i see anyone who follows or interacts with me doing so you will be blocked. i will not let anyone who does that shit interact with me. i have dealt with harassment, second hand and first hand enough in my life and i will NOT let anyone else experiance what i did at the hands of others hatefull actions and words. even if you dont agree with them. just leave them alone.

you can bring awareness to someones actions, but do not harass them. it wont fix anything.

again i apologize for this essay post. but this is a sensitive topic and felt i needed to talk about it

[warmshotamilk]

As an anti, I think there's a HUGE difference between "I don't like this" and "I find this morally objectionable." I personally cannot stand when people make human designs of nonhuman characters. Bill Cipher isn't Bill Cipher to me if he isn't a triangle. Freddy Fazbear isn't Freddy Fazbear to me if he isn't an animatronic bear. I think they're stupid, but there's nothing objectively wrong with it, so I just don't look at it. Hope they have fun with something I can't. My perception of that artist hasn't changed because they draw things that aren't to my personal tastes.

Incest, pedophilia, zoophilia, necrophilia, etc. isn't "not to my personal tastes," though. That changes how I see that artist as a person, private or not. It really ticks me off when I talk about things that I think no longer make someone a good person, and proshippers talk about things I personally don't like. Those are two completely different sentences. Things I personally don't like are things I can brush past. I can still be friends with someone who wants to draw Bill Cipher as a Tumblr sexyman. I cannot still be friends with someone who fantasizes about assaulting fictional children (and I would encourage anyone else I know to cut contact with them too), and I wish we would talk about the difference more.

Tastes in fiction are, in fact, personal opinions

Finding some fiction "morally objectionable" is, too, a personal opinion

You are allowed to not be friends with people because they like weird fiction, no one is saying you can't, but other people are also allowed to comment on how that is a weird as fuck hill to die on because what someone likes in fiction has no real tangible affect on real life

I, personally, will continue to comment that antis make their personal preferences other people's problem because that is what they do. That is what you are doing right now lol. You came in here being like "this is what I personally believe and it pisses me off that not everyone else believes it too"

So like... deal with it? Dunno what to tell you, man. Fictional incest and whatever IS "not to your personal tastes." You can disagree all you like but that is, like... fact. It is not an opinion to state that your opinions are opinions

[scared-cr0ws]

hi everyone! i have seen a lot of arguments recently unwillingly on my feed about pro proship (in particular the supports incestuous or pedophilic media kind and not the ships crackships kind) despite having numerous tags blocked for it. so perhaps for the chance that i reach just one person on the fence about the whole ordeal i suppose it to be only fair to speak my mind. that and to clear up any misunderstanding by anyone who supports my art.

i do not support proshipping and i encourage anyone who does to block me. i do not want you anywhere near my work. these types of themes run RAMPANT in the utmv community and it breaks my heart knowing how many younger people are often active here. it is SO demoralizing to see that even the most morally sound and seemingly at-least-semi-aware of consequences people would sit there and not be able to put 2 and 2 together and understand that they are going too far. that being able to mentally justify any representation of incest or pedophilla in any way that isnt condemning it is WRONG. It could be as fake as you want but youre still perceiving and enjoying, or even worse, using your talent to CREATE the type of media that makes genuine scum of the earth feel like they have a place in society and the fact that you either refuse to acknowledge that or just simply dont care makes you just as vile as those who partake in it..

i often see this “if you don’t enjoy something that someone else enjoys just move on” argument but its not about enjoying it versus not enjoying it its about not having the backbone of a soggy piece of paper and knowing that the things you think you shouldn’t romanticize in real life are things you shouldn’t romanticize through the media you consume just because you repeat the fact that its ‘fiction’ over and over.

you FUNDAMENTALLY shouldn’t enjoy seeing two related characters in romantic relationships

you FUNDAMENTALLY should not enjoy seeing an underaged character with an adult

and if you DO its NOT good. it is not good for your psyche and your perception of life and i urge anyone who DOES enjoy these things to seek therapy especially if it comes from a source of past abuse because it is NOT HEALTHY.

i don’t care about crack ships or ‘unhealthy’ ships or literally ANYTHING as long as you aren’t enjoying media of literal ILLEGAL and IMMORAL relationships because of all the media you could consume WHY consume the media that normalizes such awful things and produces content for people who would do such things in real life

and what draws the line between you and them. truly.