#i don’t care if this is lighthearted or in good fun or whatever. if you’re not my mutual and/or friend you DON’T get to joke about

[simcardiac-arrested]

if you send me shit like this i’m stealing something out of your house. and then killing you

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

YOU’RE AN ANGEL, I’M A DOG ; SATORU GOJO

synopsis; an upcoming exam has been stressing you out, and satoru’s pleas for you to take care of yourself fall on deaf ears. he takes matters into his own hands.

word count; 4.3k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, yan!gojo, as far as yanderes go he’s very mild i think (im sensitive u can trust me!!), mentions of blood, implied murder (not depicted!!), he threatens your professor w a knife lol, surprisingly fluffy??, gojo is soooo lovesick & smitten, he just wants his baby to live a happy life :( is that so wrong :((, also your parents love him <33 and he calls you honey <333 ideal man.

a/n; i blacked out & when i woke up this was in my drafts… mysterious. @kissxcore here u go alexis <33 one very smitten morally gray yan!gojo just for u!! i completely lost the plot halfway through but i had a lot of fun writing this!! :33 i don’t dabble in yan content at all so it was a fun lil challenge hehe, i hope it ended up . Somewhat .. decent…

satoru thinks you deserve everything good.

”haah…”

— the sigh spills into the air, dripping with exhaustion, a palpable fatigue that has his heart clenching.

just as he feared, you’re here. again. seated on the couch, in the living room, legs crossed and framed by flimsy strings of moonlight; illuminated only by the dim light of the laptop in front of you. carding through your hair, blinking sluggishly.

another sigh. deep, exasperated — from satoru, this time. he keeps a single hand on his hip, brows furrowed in soft disappointment. 

”honey… what do you think you’re doing?”

you jolt, the sudden sound breaking you out of whatever trance you were previously in. when your gaze flits to his, craning your head to see him rest against the wall leading up to your bedroom, he thinks you look a little like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

it makes him smile. despite his disapproval.

”ah — satoru! it’s… um.” a moment passes. he can practically see the gears of your mind turning, searching for a good excuse. ”… not what it looks like?”

he clicks his tongue. ”nice try.”

then he’s walking towards you, in long strides, gliding across the room like a butterfly in search of nectar. from the sweetest flower there ever was.

even when said flower is still awake, past midnight, pulling an all-nighter despite his frequent advice not to. his very frequent, very thoughtful advice not to strain yourself until you just about pass out.

but you just won’t listen.

”’m disappointed in you, baby,” he huffs, just playful enough to ward off any genuine feelings of distress. he could never truly be disappointed in his baby. ”what did we say about studying this late, hm?”

a sheepish chuckle slips past your lips. satoru is standing in front of you, hands on his hips, raising a questioning eyebrow as you squirm. lighthearted, yes, but genuine. it makes you feel a little guilty.

”… sorry,” you breathe, closing the lid of your laptop. knowing he won’t let you stay up any longer. with the loss of light, your face becomes shrouded in darkness. ”just can’t sleep when i’m so stressed.”

at that, satoru makes a tiny noise — something worried, a little sad, from the base of his throat. a soft frown finds its way onto his lips, and he blinks the sleep away from his senses. plopping down beside you.

”i know. i’m not trying to lecture you,” he croons, reaching out to cradle the apple of your cheek. you melt into him like molten honey, easy and sweet. ”just worried. know you’re stressed.”

and he does. he does know — it’s all he’s been able to think about, these past few weeks. to his dismay, he’s even begun to grow used to this sight, used to finding you in the midst of working yourself to exhaustion. fighting the urge to sleep, slumped over your desk, or cooped up on the couch. staring into your laptop like it holds the secrets of the universe.

time and time again, he’s told you to take care of yourself. tried to coax you into relaxing, rubbing your sore shoulders and kissing the puffy skin beneath your eyes. but this exam is important — you’ve told him as much, more times than he can count. he doesn’t doubt that you’re right. 

of course you’d be stressed. he gets it.

still, though.

”but you know it’s not good, yeah? that it’ll just burn you out?” his thumb goes to smooth over the dark crescents beneath your eyes, gentle as a feather. ”we don’t want that, do we?”

you bite your lip. trapping it between your teeth. he knows you know. ”… yeah,” you admit, a flimsy little sigh on your tongue. ”it just feels easier to do this at night. don’t know why.”

”my little night owl.”

that makes you smile, a little, but it’s not enough to satisfy him. he curls an arm around your waist, and drags you into his lap; gentle, always gentle, like all that exists under your skin is made of porcelain. like the lines of your face form a string of words, a label of fragile: handle with care. he always does.

with his heartbeat by your ear, his warmth melting into yours, it’s easier to speak. a pressure on your chest that fades away. ”i’ll try not to do it again,” you murmur, biting back a soft yawn. nuzzling into his neck. ”promise. don’t wanna worry you…”

satoru softens. 

(always so good to him.)

”it’s fine, honey. i understand.” he smiles, smoothing down your spine, counting the bumps of vertebra that slide along his palm. ”don’t worry that pretty little head of yours over me, alright?”

in return for his comfort, you wriggle away, lifting your head to give him a smile. one of your many smiles, each one fervently cherished by him; the one you’re wearing now is tired, a soft curl of your lips, the kind that makes him want to lull you to sleep. just the sight alone makes the anxiety in his veins feel like a worthy investment.

he doesn’t tell you anything that could cause that joy to diminish. doesn’t tell you that he can’t sleep without you, that he can barely breathe knowing you’re this stressed all time. doesn’t tell you that he jolted awake with a sinking feeling of dread, a gaping pit in his stomach when he didn’t immediately feel the warmth of your skin against his. doesn’t tell you that he always, always assumes the worst.

satoru doesn’t tell you these things. it’s a safety measure, an act of love. a bundle of unvoiced syllables, woven into white lies, silky and sweet. tailor-made to put your aching mind at ease. 

satoru thinks you deserve everything good.

it’s a theory, of sorts, a train of thought. a hypothesis made manifest. after many years of pondering, he’s arrived at the following conclusion; you are all that’s good. therefore, it only follows that you deserve everything that’s good, all of it and more. satoru believes you deserve every single thing your little heart desires — and he’s determined to give it to you.

so he’s been worried.

it’s not that he doesn’t trust you. he knows you’ll ace the exam, knows you’ll do your very best, knows you’ll make him proud. you always do. you aren’t the problem, no, never.

he just doesn’t trust your professor. 

that unfair, stuck-up, incompetent professor who’d fail his students just for being a couple minutes late, who curates his exams to be as convoluted as humanly possible. you and your friends are starting to suspect he just likes berating people for a living. satoru knows it all, he’s heard it all, of course he has. satoru pays attention to everything, when it comes to you. he knows all about your professor, the man who’s been making your studies pure hell for the past semester.

it makes his blood boil. steady, ruminating, hot and heavy in his veins. a rivulet of lava.

(it was only a matter of time.)

satoru is a teacher too; he knows that type. one that has no business being a teacher, in the first place, one no student deserves to be subjected to. he’s met more of them in his career than he could even begin to count. the thought of one of his own students being at the mercy of someone so incompetent makes his skin itch.

and the thought of you, seated on the couch, crying and sniffling when he comes home because none of the exam questions made enough sense for you to even try —

it makes satoru want to claw his skin off.

it makes that tiny, tiny cavern in his heart extend, widen, like a maw, swallowing up his liver and lungs and sense of morality. an emptiness begging to be filled. 

there’s only one way to satiate it.

so he plants a wet kiss on your forehead, ruffles your hair, tucks you into bed and waits until you fall asleep. deep and heavy, a slumber you won’t wake up from anytime soon. he presses his lips to your forehead one more time — for good measure.

then he grabs his coat and slips outside.

the moon is visible through the window.

a thin crescent, nailed next to the dim stars, leaking a dream-like fluorescent shine; illuminating the office, so quiet he can hear those erratic breaths spill out, one by one. a heavy, heavy silence, thick enough to spread like butter over toast. 

(ah, that’s right — he forgot to buy the butter you asked for this morning. no wonder he feels so out of sorts. he’ll have to grab it on his way back.)

”who… w — what are — ?”

satoru stays silent. lips pursed, eyes keen, burning into the back of the man in front of him. close, almost chest to back, enough to have him scowling in displeasure. 

just being in his presence makes satoru feel a little sick. 

he keeps the blade pressed right beneath his adam’s apple, a silver glimmer in an office painted blue and gray. not enough to sink into his skin, but enough to have his heartbeat hammering, enough that satoru can practically feel those rapid flutters of life. brushing against his gloved hand.

he gets straight to the point. voice muffled by the fabric covering his mouth, low enough that it’s barely even audible. he’s careful, about this kind of thing. there’s a delicacy to the ill intent, something he’d be a little enamored with if it weren’t for the compass stuffed into his ribs — the compass that tells him this is wrong.

he just can’t bring himself to care.

”the upcoming exam.” his voice sends a shiver down the man’s spine. satoru can feel it. ”don’t fail a single student.”

silence. pure silence, suffocating them, tangling itself into the air. satoru can practically taste it — fear, familiar, that pang of panic. a ticking time-bomb. the knife stays pressed against warm skin, pushing, sinking, just a little, a drop of red against his pale throat. 

it’s enough to get your professor to make a little noise, one that vaguely resembles a whine. like that of a small animal, rolling over on its belly, eager to play dead. no word is spoken in reply, but he nods, just barely, a nervous tremble of his head.

satoru hums, approving. ”good.” he doesn’t loosen his grip. ”there’s a particular student i’m worried about. marked them down in the catalogue... i’m counting on you.”

another noise. a grunt of affirmation, a silent plea — satoru allows that fear to seep into his own bones, just a little, just to get a taste of it. cold on his tongue. he wonders if this is what helplessness feels like.

then he takes a step back. slow, tentative, dragging the knife with him. not before parting his lips once more. ”don’t turn around,” he warns. ”i’ll be back if there are any complications. this’ll be our little secret, hm?”

the man in front of him doesn’t say a thing. frozen in fear, paralyzed, not moving an inch. a fly trapped in his web. it’s a relief.

before he exits the room, satoru puts the final nail in the coffin. just in case. ”i happen to know what school your daughter goes to.” he waits for a flinch, and it comes almost instantly. like clockwork. “remember that.”

it’s an empty threat. your professor doesn’t know that, though. he doesn’t know that satoru knows his daughter, that he walks past her preschool almost every morning on his way to work. that she waves to him whenever he passes by, and that he makes it a point to always wave back. a little troublemaker; the rowdiest of utahime’s preschoolers. she has a bubbly laugh, and just lost one of her milk teeth. she was giddy when she showed him, a bout of giggles spilling from her lips as he cooed and ruffled her hair. 

he wouldn’t lay a finger on her. 

but your professor doesn’t know that, hasn’t got a single clue, and satoru delights in the fear that must be running through his veins. down his spine, crawling into every narrow of his skeleton, making a home for itself that he’ll never quite be able to root out.

a gulp. satoru hears it, in the quiet of nightfall, just before he shuts the door behind him. good.

the rest of the evening is a blur. satoru gets home, relieved to find you still asleep, and tucks you into his chest. makes a mental reminder to order your favorite take out tomorrow; a little reward for your hard work.

finally, he can sleep easy. knowing you’ll get what you deserve. 

three weeks later, satoru places his hand on the familiar doorknob in front of him, dragging his weight behind him. blinking sluggishly. 

there’s a sinking feeling in his chest, weighing him down — like an anchor tied to his liver. a compass, tucked between his fourth and fifth rib, one that’ll always stay lodged right there. he’s learned to grow used to it, a natural consequence, a sign that his humanity is still intact. 

that doesn’t make it any less bothersome, though.

(ridding the world of a pest shouldn’t make him feel dirty. especially when he felt nothing but contempt for the pest in question, for the way he whistled as you walked by, the words he spewed before satoru met his eye. vile. putrid. why should he feel guilty for wiping a stain off the pavement?

it does make him feel dirty, though. a sinking feeling in his chest.)

there’s nothing to be done about it. satoru swallows the unpleasant taste on his tongue, and drags the door open, closing it behind him with a softness he reserves for you alone.

and there you are.

on the couch, farther away, already looking his way — lips instantly curling up into what he knows will be a smile. this time, it’s laced with excitement. one of his personal favorites. his gaze devours the joy in your features, the glimpse he gets of your teeth, that familiar crinkle of your eyes. 

you’re smiling. at him. you smile and his world wakes up, it’s dyed in different shades of blue, it’s brimming with life and love and something too good not to kill for. you smile and everything is right, good, worth it. you smile and it's as if the blood has been washed off his hands.

suddenly, all is well again. satoru exhales a blissful little breath.

“‘m home, honey,” he grins, a light pink dusting his cheeks, hanging his coat up before turning to face you. arms wide open. “did you miss me?”

his heartbeat stutters when you practically engulf him, all giddy giggles and that perfect smile, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. “mhm,” is what you chirp, pressing kisses down his collarbone, and he has to bite down on his lip to stop the shivers trailing down his spine. he tastes iron, but laps it up with a coo. sickly-sweet.

“missed you too, precious,” he purrs. “sorry i was gone for so long — had to take care of something.” 

he cups the back of your skull with his palm, large and crafted just to hold you, and marvels at how much you trust him. how you’re melting into his chest, fitting into every crevice of his heart. he wants to keep you there forever. forever and ever, always within reach, always close enough to touch. 

but he also wants you to be happy. he wants to see you run away, wherever the wind takes you, if only so he’ll get to feel you jump into his arms again, when you’ve had your fill of the world. when you come home to him, where you both belong.

satoru would never cage you. never, never, never. he wants you to enjoy your life — confining you wouldn’t do any good, would only stifle that pretty smile he loves so dearly. he wants your world to be large, brimming with life, blooming with fervor, wants the air to be clear enough for your beautiful lungs. he couldn’t build a world for you, here, in this apartment. no matter how big or luxurious. 

so his only option is to bend the world into a kinder shape — twist and mold until it forms a path good enough for you to follow.

(it’s worth it, he knows, he’ll always know. it’s worth it to see that smile.)

“is that a new coat?” you ask, naive and innocent, and it breaks him out of his thoughts, attention wired to the lilt of your voice.

“yeah.” it’s stylish, expensive, a nice shade of black. he had to throw the last one away. “looks nice, right? i’ll get you the same one, pretty.”

“you don’t have to, toru!” you hurriedly exclaim, knowing he’ll jump at the opportunity to spoil you. “i like the one i have now!”

satoru pouts. a soft huff, right by your ear. “you don’t wanna wear matching coats?” he feigns sadness, scratching softly at your scalp, drinking up the little purrs that bubble up in your throat. 

and you giggle. you giggle and all he can think is worth it, worth it, worth it. a stained coat or two means nothing. the blood on his hands is just insurance. 

“well, when you put it like that…” you shift a little, curling your arms around his neck, breathing him in. he wonders if you can smell the cleaning detergent. “i guess i wouldn’t mind a new coat.”

and he grins. “right? want me to buy you new shoes while i’m at it? some jewelry?” he peppers kisses down your neck, amusement laced in his voice. “the whole store?”

again, those giggles. again and again. he laps them up like fine wine. “okay, that’s too much.”

“but you deserve it!” he whines, sickeningly sweet. sick to his stomach with love. “been working so hard, my angel.”

and, suddenly — you light up. his little firefly. brightening, inhaling a giddy breath. pulling away, a little, and he does his best to bite back the frown on his face. you’re practically beaming, sunshine personified, eyes glittering with giddy joy.

“right! i almost forgot!” 

then you’re skipping away, happily, to retrieve your phone. and he knows what you’re going to show him, but still feigns surprise when he sees the score on your exam, that perfect 100 on the screen. still makes an expression of shock that he knows will get you to laugh, still picks you up and spins you around and tells you how proud he is.

he almost, almost feels bad, seeing you smile so wide; at what you assume to be the fruits of your own labour. almost feels ashamed, knowing that perfect 100 wouldn’t exist without the knife at your professor’s throat.

but, then again, this is how it should be. those numbers are the fruits of your own labour, because satoru is a part of you. and you deserve it, deserve it more than anyone — he knows you would have gotten it, even without his help, if your professor was competent enough to see your brilliance. 

satoru smiles. he is proud of you. and this is exactly how it should be. he’s just bending the world into its rightful shape, cutting strings from a wrongly woven web, righting the wrongs of the people around you.

you, you, you. the only thing that exists.

all of him is for you.

”i knew you could do it. never doubted you for a second, baby,” he smiles, so wide his cheeks hurt, and you return it with a kiss to his jaw. 

”thank you. i’m just so relieved,” you exhale a breath, heavy, and it’s like he can practically see the stress melting from your shoulders and eyes. worth it, worth it, worth it. ”gosh. i’m gonna sleep like the dead tonight.”

”as you should,” satoru chirps, pinching your side. softly, brimming with fondness. ”but before that, we’re gonna celebrate. all day. and tomorrow too!”

another smile coaxed from your lips; this time, it’s a little bit shy. bashful, at the praise, his endless excitement. so precious he wants to kiss you breathless. give you all the air in his lungs.

so precious that he forgets about everything else. 

this is what you always do to him; wrap him up in a blanket of your love, cloud his veins with a nectar so sweet he takes the leap into your arms without a second thought. a foolish, lovesick butterfly, sticking to a single rose; dripping with honey, overflowing. the butterfly is too drunk on love to care. 

you’re his flower, his joy, the most useful form of anesthesia. with you in his veins, on his mind, your lips on his jaw — satoru can pretend that his hands are clean. that they always have been.

it all slips from his mind. your professor, the creep who catcalled you yesterday, that one classmate you’ve been complaining about recently. he forgets that they even exists, and satoru thinks that must be what love is: something that narrows your world down until you can make a home out of it. 

(something worth holding onto, no matter the cost.)

as always, it’s your voice that snaps him out of the trance he’s in. turning around at the sound of your call, the orpheus to your eurydice, too in love to save you from himself. you’re both getting ready to head out, dressing up for a well-deserved date. 

satoru feels himself smile. he does the dirty work, and you get to reap the rewards. heaven on earth.

“oh, by the way! would you want to have dinner with my parents tomorrow?” you meet his absent gaze with a tilt of your head. “they’ve been asking about you again. it’s such a headache, seriously.”

satoru giggles, barely containing how delighted he is. raising a playful brow. “oh? grumpy that you aren’t the favorite child anymore, hm?”

“okay, first of all —“ you stifle a giggle, pulling a drawer open, rummaging through it. freshly washed clothes. he washes most of your things. “you aren’t their child. and second of all —“

“— yet.”

a pause. 

satoru watches your gaze flick over to him, then back to the drawer, collecting yourself. a cute flush to your cheeks. “… whatever.” you clear your throat. “second of all — i don’t like how much they like you. what kinda spell did you put them under? it’s always satoru this, satoru that!”

a huff fills the air, and you mutter something that sounds a little like mocking, an obnoxiously imitated where’s satoru? that makes him chuckle into his fist. 

he shrugs. “i’m just a natural charmer, y’know? and, for the record; i would love to have dinner with them.” he sends you a wink, playful, and you roll your eyes. “are you joining us?”

a bout of laughter pushes past your lips, and satoru thinks he could die happy — just soaking up the joy that spills from out your throat. he wishes he could live in it, paint your house in it, wear it. he wants your joy to be all he ever feels. he feels sick at the idea of ever being out of earshot for it.

“yes, i’m joining you.” your scoff is dripping with humour. ”i’d hate to be the fourth wheel, but it is what it is.”

satoru stifles a grin. ”lucky me. three beauties all to myself,” he drawls, a seductive lilt to his voice, just to hear that little noise you always make with the back of your throat. vaguely disgusted.

”you’re so gross.”

a coo. like the buzzing of a bee. ”don’t be jealous, honey. know you’re my favorite, don’t you?” satoru smiles — more sincere than you’ll ever know. ”could never love anyone else.”

”so my parents are in second place?” you quirk a brow, amusement lacing your words, and he clicks his tongue. 

”well, they made you. i’d have to be a fool not to worship artists of such caliber.” 

”charmer.”

”yours.” the word is a knife at his throat, a stain on his coat, a love so heavy it’ll burn him alive. ”only yours.”

and again, you smile. all he can think is that you deserve everything, everything that’s good, everything he could ever give you. it’s all he can think as you go about your day, as he leads you outside, as he watches that flicker of joy dance within your iris. as he watches you walk wherever your heart takes you.

the thought remains when you return home, when you wrap yourselves up in blankets and he throws a leg over your waist and you curl an arm around his ribcage. it’s all he can think. 

satoru was born to be of service — to someone, to the world, to something or another. he was born to carry a weight on his back. 

so why not bear the weight of your burdens?

all he wants is to protect you. all he’ll ever need is that smile on your face. he was always bound to be just this: a dog at your heels, a halo around your head, the watchful eye keeping you safe from everything rotten in this world. he’s the butterfly, the spider, the web itself. and he’ll never let you be tangled up in it.

he was born to be of service to you. so service you he will, until it all comes back to bite him.

“satoruuu — stop stealing the blanket!”

he prays it never will.

[bbonnenuit]

The Smiths.

notes: chrollo is yandere, although the fic is lighthearted. the biggest warning is the fact that chrollo looks like he'd listen to the smiths /j, another bigger warning is that reader is an avid the smiths hater. im not tho, all for fun. female reader.

 “Daydreaming again, I see?”

   It would be a lie to say that Chrollo’s voice isn’t at the slightest bit pleasant to hear. It’s soft and smooth, but accompanied with a confident low timbre that you think might be the source of it’s charm. 

   You often wish you both don’t share a language to speak over, so whatever he speaks would be foreign yet pleasant gibberish in your ears. And maybe you’d be able to close your eyes and sleep. You’d be able to treat him as the background noise of some radio host talking about something as mundane as today’s newest dramas. 

  You don’t find the need to chase the impossible ideal this time. One doesn’t need to be a linguist expert in order to know no malice or warning is present in his voice, though one might need a bachelor’s degree and over four decades of experience in psychology to know he truly means nothing behind his calm demeanor. 

   You sign yourself to a fate you’re unsure of, and though it’s foolish, there’s nothing you can do anyway. You’re stuck with him, in a moving four-wheeled compartment, that’s also stuck in traffic. 

   “The music’s good.” Is all you say, and he hums in understanding. 

     Silence falls over the two of you again.

   You almost brought back the colorful reverie you were in before he decided to interject, until he reached for his phone to change the music. Oh, bluetooth, the convenient technology you are. His phone is located on the right of his steering wheel, far away from your reach. If he had reached for the audio system you would’ve been (maybe) able to slap his hand away. 

   “Hm, I’d rather you pay attention to me.” The lilt in his voice is unmistakable. And you almost gag, was that an attempt in flirting? Blegh.  

   “I’ll just stare at the cars,” Headlights and astigmatism can make a good duo, you remind yourself. 

   Chrollo hums again, You can almost laugh, so being stuck in your own daydreams and practically doing nothing is unacceptable, but staring at cars is alright? 

  You stare at a car, observing the way the light that emits from it’s headlights become blurry in your sights, they almost take shape of stars in your opinion. 

   So you set your sights on a particularly small black car in front of you, must be a Toyota or Avanza or something. You can’t tell, it’s got four wheels and headlights, so it’s a car. You could care less about what it is. That is why you weren’t all so interested when Chrollo took you a look into his….Rolls… Rolls what? Oh, right, Rolls Royce. It’s a fancy one, you can tell. He was exuding quite an air of importance when he was leading you towards the high-end vehicle located in the restaurant’s parking lot, there were some on-lookers around that spot that expressed interest at the car. It means something when even people of the middle-upper class are showing interest.

   Whatever ego that had probably swelled within Chrollo must’ve popped like a balloon, or so you hope, because you did nothing more than give him a thumbs up before letting yourself in the passenger’s seat. You also didn’t miss the way he was preparing to tell you about the car’s compartments and specialties that made it cost years of labor. Ah, you’re certain he didn’t gain this vehicle from labor, though. 

   Fancy car or not, everyone’s equally stuck in this traffic. 

   Fancy car or not, doesn’t determine that the song played inside the compartment is free from your judgment or not.

   “What song is this? You ask, although you know the answer. You somehow need an assurance that he is lucid. 

   “Please, please, please, by The Smiths.” He says, pleasant with his song of choice. 

   What an ironic song and artist of choice. 

    It’s harder to hide in a cackle than a scowl, you’d almost forgotten. Any voice you let out threatens to come out as sharp laughter and any breathe you intake threatens to become a wheeze. You could hardly contain yourself. 

   “Oh…” Is all you say before pausing, afraid anything else you will say will turn into a rowdy session of laughter. Unsure if you should speak further or not. But the inquisitive look he offers you somehow serves as a push rather than something that usually wants you to further seal your lips shut in fear you would say the wrong thing and earn his silent ire. It’s far, far harder to hide a cackle than a scowl, but months of training yourself to hide certain expressions whenever Chrollo is around has paid off. “What about Frank Sinatra?” 

 Chrollo smiles. Is he delighted that you find interest in one of his favorite artists? Though he’s never said it outloud, every long night drive has its silence filled with at least one Frank Sinatra song. 

   “Would you rather I change the song, dear?” He offers. And you would say yes, but this is one of the rare, rare moments where you are given the opportunity to take a jab at him. Although it’s nothing as deadly as anything a leader of the Phantom Troupe has faced, you won’t kill him or even hurt him for very long. But you are willing to do anything, at this point. 

   You feign the most pleasant voice you can muster, “Hm… That’s not really what I meant. I just didn’t think you’d listen to The Smiths.” 

   He lets out a small laugh, “Really? I have always listened to older songs around you, I suppose. I wouldn't say I like it… Hm, but it’s an interesting band.”

   So he does like it! 

   “Why do you think so?” You inquire further before adding, “Do you like this song a lot?”

   “Are you intending to interview me, (Name)?” Chrollo cocks his eyebrow, but it is only meant to tease you. 

  “Must’ve picked it up from someone.” A relentless pursuit, you press on further, “Okay though, but answer my question.” 

   Silence falls over him, as if he were in his own state of thinking so deeply, but you know it’s mainly a pretense. Whatever he wishes to say after, you know it must’ve been something he had thought of before. In any other situation, this silence often serves as to let a dreadful situation simmer in your mind.  But this time… Ah, you’re quite unsure. 

  Chrollo finally speaks,  “I’ll answer you of course.” The smile he gives you is anything but nice when you are very much aware of the condemnation those same lips bring you, “On the condition you’d kiss me after.”

  “Okay.” To his surprise, you agreed rather quickly. If that’s the sacrifice you need to make, then so be it. A kiss to soothe his soon-to-be sour, scorned face!

  He is satisfied, you can tell. He puts his elbow against the steering wheel, resting his face against his palm. “I don’t know why you’re suddenly interested, whatever designs you have in your head… Hm, I’ll know of it soon.” 

   No one fucking asked damn. You internally deadpanned, impatience is gnawing at your throat. He reminds you of how you’d write your essays when you have to reach a certain minimum word count by relentlessly dragging around a topic and beating around a bush so much that you end up writing a novel rather than an assignment. Ah… To make him anything alike to you doesn’t sound very right. Whatever, you digress. 

   Chrollo finally, finally starts. And you’re excited, elated, jovial- ah every synonym of the word happiness comes into mind. You can put any thesaurus at shame by now. “I remember the first time we met, you called me something of a hopeless romantic. At that time, I had only laughed because I found the sentiment rather off. Such nonsense. Me? An idealist of love? Love has always been a tool for me. You could only dream.”

   You cut to the chase,“Mhm, although you’ve found a contradiction because you actually enjoy those sappy songs right? Okay, what’s next?” 

   “You know me very well (You smile, excited). But that's not all (you frown, deflated).” Sweet, saccharine drips off of his voice. “I’ve never paid attention to such things, not for myself at least. I don’t ‘relate’ to those kinds of songs. But ever since I met you, it felt as if the world had shifted for me.” 

  He doesn’t stop, and for once you are glad he isn't, “My world has shifted and taken a hole in itself, one that has been carved into the shape of you.” 

  It is interesting how he is able to muse so freely about you, in front of you. Where is the shame and decorum?

   “And I do quite like this song, in all honesty.” His gaze meets yours, and grey eyes bore into your soul. “It really does remind me of the one I love so dearly.” 

   Please, please, please, let me get what I want… Those lyrics loop in your head over and over again. You should be sick with the abundance of affection he has for you that makes you seethe. And you would claw at the leather seats, avert your gaze, and try to block him out as much as you can. But tonight, you feel fucking amazing. 

  You can barely handle it. 

   “Dude, come on,” Your voice is off by an octave and you swear you can burst. Chrollo on the other hand finds satisfaction melting off of his face over the term being used to refer to him, outright calling him a bastard or a monster might be better. You make it a mental note to call him ‘dude’ more. “The Smiths is for losers.” 

   …

   “Pardon?’ 

   “The Smiths is for losers.” You repeat yourself before adding, “It’s for guys who can’t get any, for guys who waddle in sadness for something they can’t get, guys who are always up their own ass. Condescending guys who are secretly insecure, manipulative guys, guys who play guitar and get sad then do weed…” You are kind enough to give a long-winded further explanation.  Chrollo does not share the same sentiment. 

  Chrollo’s countenance seems unchanging at first, but it is not a waste, for you saw a split second of confusion, then something of offense written on his face before it smoothes out into the uncannily still expression he always wears. His lips open, then close, as if he’s mulling over an answer.

   “Are you insinuating I am that type of person, dearest?’ 

   "I mean if the shoe fits...? Well, what do you think?"

    He sighs like it’s obvious,  “That you made the wrong accusation over baseless data.” 

    “I’m not accusing you of anything!” You hold your hands up in mock defense, “Just telling you something everyone kind of agrees on. Things don’t have to be written in numbers or books… Sometimes it’s just a consensus. Everyone and their mom agrees on it."

   You are relentless tonight, so you continue again though Chrollo prompts nothing from your newfound talkative nature tonight, something you’re sure he would actually love in a different situation. 

   “These are the kind of guys girls avoid you know? People call it something of a warning. Like, ‘avoid guys who listen to The Smiths’.  I don’t mean to generalize or anything, but guys who listen to songs like that don’t end up to be very well in the head. And I also don’t mean to believe rumors but… Well…” You cough awkwardly, but it’s meant to deliver an unspoken message you know will only further test his ire. But you think you have had enough fun for tonight, you don’t wish to turn the night sour for you after all.

   …Or so you thought. 

   “So I’m just trying to say that you should treat me a little better, you know what I mean? I’m putting up with a lot” Everything you say here are meant to be a 50% insult, 30% jab, and 20% jokes. But the last thing you said, you can’t lie and say that you hope he’d take further thought on that. You yearn to hopefully be able to get out of the hotel room that serves as your grandiose cage more, and when you do, you aren’t being watched by an unknown amount of eyes that you know trail on to you by the shadows. That is all you wish for, really. That is to say, you can only wonder what his standards are for ‘treating you better’. 

   Ah, the smile he has on his face is different from before. This one is a sign that your fun is coming to a quick halt. 

   “So that’s what you’re getting at? Resourceful little minx you are.” 

   Why is he sounding so delighted over your insults, is he a masochist? Is he stupid? It’s your turn to cock your eyebrow. 

  “Have you enticed me in this long-winded conversation simply because you wanted to be treated a little better? And the way you had agreed so quickly to that kiss… " He puts a hand to his chest, a mockery of an apology. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to be so blind to your need for affection. You've gone through lengths to communicate your need, I'm very grateful."

  You let out a humorless laugh, “Pardon?” He is just truly-! Argh, whatever! “Did you not hear anything else I said?” You make sure to enunciate your words properly, afraid he might have some sort of hearing problems, well he does and you’re certain it has a name. What was it again? Oh right, an unfortunate combination of delusion and selective hearing… 

  “I know you tend to turn a little childish when you can’t get what you want. That’s not a quality many men like either. So, be a little kinder to me, won’t you?” 

  “Women don’t usually like mass murderers either. Anyone in their right mind, actually.”

   He hums, “That orange container of pills by your nightstand says otherwise. Not the best defense, try again?” 

   “You'd have some too, you just don't have any because you don't go to therapy."

   “Hm, keeping up that attitude won’t make me kiss you any sooner.” 

   “Then I’ll gladly keep this attitude!” 

   Unfortunately you don’t. You’re angry enough to have the energy to spew a million insults at lightspeed against him, but too angry to form a coherent thought that you’re certain would give him a decent jab. And to be frank, you’re rather spent. When you (reluctantly) asked Chrollo what time it was, thankfully he gave you a proper response. A quick tap of his phone showed that it was two and a half hours above your usual bedtime. The clothes you have aren’t the most comfortable either, while it’s not short they certainly expose areas where the wind would have too much fun dancing over. 

   Traffic is clearing as you can see the hotel you are both staying in come into view. You relax at the sight. You can almost feel the warm bath you will be soaking yourself in, what scent will you choose tonight? Rosemary, lavender… Ah, you can smell them already. You prompt to close your eyes for a moment of rest, but you find yourself sleeping on the rest of the way back.

   You feel fingers combing your locks stirring you awake, they’re Chrollo’s, obviously. Although you are half conscious, you recognize that scent of sandalwood and amber anywhere, as much as you’re ashamed to admit it. 

  “Do you want me to carry you?” Chrollo asks, and you murmur something in between a noise of annoyance and a ‘no’. He chuckles at this sight. “Alright then.” 

   He gives a soft peck on your lips, it’s warm. You almost lean in when the warmth of his lips leave yours, this half-conscious state gives him a moment of your vulnerability he has set his eyes on,  the one he relentlessly pursues after so much. But you know that even when he has a grasp at your vulnerability, it won’t stop him from digging for more. Greedy, ruthless man that he is, he will never stop. 

  “You are absolutely precious, you know that? Even if your mouth tends to run without care” Is that condescension or admiration in his voice? Pity, you can’t tell in the state you are in. You’re drunk from the lack of sleep and the future victory you have in mind. 

  “Before I answer that…” Your voice is barely above a whisper, Chrollo merrily leans in closer to hear you. Your lips ghost by the shell of his ear… 

  …

  “Name five songs from The Smiths. Are you like an actual fan or is it just FOMO?” 

   He just sighs. 

header from https://id.pinterest.com/pin/334040497376021340/

[your-unfriendlyghost]

I have two things to ask:

1.-Can we be friends?

2.-Do you have any Outsiders headcanons (or any that you haven't submitted yet)?

I mean sure?? Idk who you are since you’re on anon, so not REALLY, but I’m always down to talk!

2. Yeah lol- tons. Too many. Here’s a few (okay like 25 oops) off the top of my head lol, some serious/angsty and some lighthearted/kinda stupid without any real order. (Lotta ‘em are about Steve tbh -there’s so little to him in canon that I have the freedom to hc pretty much whatever I want)

Steve Randle’s nearsighted and has no idea, which is why he’s literally always squinting. (I’ve had that one for like months but only recently mentioned it on here lol.) Steve thinks his vision is completely normal

Dally and Sylvia genuinely cared for each other, but they were both so horrible at having healthy emotions that they just made each other worse. In a bad way, not a fun way.

When Steve gets kicked out, sometimes he hangs with Johnny in the lot. They don’t really talk about anything important like their shared experiences of having lousy parents. Instead they talk about cars, girls, music, school…lighthearted stuff. Sometimes Johnny will find Steve crying, which he never mentions- he’ll just sit down as per usual, which Steve appreciates. Steve almost never finds Johnny crying though. Johnny doesn’t cry much.

Okay tangent- I love how Steve and Johnny are low-key foils. Like Steve always seems tough but then cries when pushed to his limit, while Johnny always seems skittish until he’s under a bunch of pressure- in which case he suddenly is confident. (Not necessarily thriving obviously, but confident yk? Like grinning while saving those kids in the fire.) I know SE Hinton probably didn’t intend that at all, but it’s just such an interesting detail to me. One of these days I’ll put it into words better

Johnny’s jeans-jacket is a hand-me-down from either Steve or Two-Bit. (I can’t decide which lol) (obviously Dally would make sense too, but honestly I think it’d add more depth to flesh out Johnny’s relationships with the other members of the gang)

After the events of the book, Two-Bit starts hanging around the Curtis’s place even more. At first the gang assumes he’s trying to lighten the mood. It’s only after he gets sent to the cooler for a month due to drunk driving that they realize he was actually hanging around so much because he was trying to keep his kid sister from seeing him so drunk…

Two-Bit likes to joke that he keeps failing junior year so that him and his sister can graduate together. Which is a very bad idea since his sister is a year younger than Ponyboy.

Sodapop often feels like he’s only good for looking pretty and not all that useful or interesting otherwise. He likes himself, but when he stops to think about it too much, he starts to wonder if he really has anything going for him at all

My H/C for Steve’s home life is that his Mom is sick w/ like cancer or something. Before she got sick, Steve’s life was pretty alright for an eastsider- he and his dad fought, but they always made up for the most part. They weren’t perfect, but they loved each other. But after she got sick, she wasn’t there to mediate between Steve and his Dad anymore, and the fighting got worse and worse. And then Steve’s dad started drinking more and it was pretty downhill from there. Steve’s Dad still loves him, but sometimes Steve wishes that he didn’t. If he didn’t, then he could hate him. But his dad does love him, so he can’t get himself to.

Steve and Dally taught Johnny to drive when they were all like fourteen-fifteen-ish. Johnny is a very reckless driver. He loves speeding.

Johnny also loves fast roller coasters and stuff.

Dally doesn't ‘cuz he’s low-key scared of heights- he likes riding broncos and rodeos, but put him at the top of a roller coaster and he’s convinced that it’s gonna break and he’s gonna die. He pretends he doesn’t mind. The only people who know he’s scared of them are Johnny, and before she died, Mrs. Curtis.

Steve has a napoleon complex. Johnny, who is shorter than him by a few inches, likes to bully him for it sometimes

Ponyboy and Cherry don’t interact much in the school year after the book, but in the summer after, they start to hang out. Eventually they become pretty close. They fangirl over Paul Newman together

Ponyboy still doesn’t let Cherry read his theme though until years later

Marcia and Two-Bit re-meet a few months after the book. (Two-Bit is really scared that she’s embarrassed to be dating him, and Marcia is really scared that he’s embarrassed to be dating her. Neither of them are embarrassed. They both adore each other.)

Two-Bit likes to watch Marcia barrel racing. One time while he’s there, he runs into Ponyboy watching Cherry barrel race and immediately tells everyone much to Pony’s chagrin

Evie knows a little bit about cars, and she sometimes helps out at the DX during summers. Steve is so whipped for her lol (and Soda too Steve has two hands)

Evie and Sylvia are besties, but Steve and Sylvia hate each other. They act civil in front of Evie, but as soon as her back is turned they’re growling at each other like dogs. (Well Steve is. Sylvia just acts condescending as hell. Sometimes it goes over his head, so Steve knows she’s insulting him but isn’t sure what the insult is/means. Which makes Steve kinda want to kill her.)

Steve and Soda are low-key co-dependent. (Steve more so- Soda has his family at least, while to Steve, Soda and Evie are his whole world pretty much) It’s probably not super healthy, and both of them are vaguely aware of that, but are trying not to think about it too hard rn

Ponyboy’s friend group in high school consists of Curly Shepard, Mark Jennings, Scout Jenkins (from the tv show), and eventually, in her senior year, Cherry Valance. (There’s others too but those are the main ones.)

Pony dates Cathy Carlson for a while too, idk if they’re good for each other or not- I kinda like the idea of them being a sweet couple tbh, but no one else on here seems to care about them so I haven’t really explored the idea much lol

In a Dally lives au, Mark Jennings and Dally end up spending a bit of time together through Pony, and at some point they realize that they’re half-brothers lol. Mark is a deeply obnoxious little brother to have, and he drives Dally nuts on purpose. Weirdly I think Dally’s a relatively good influence on him, as much as someone like Dally can be. And Dally does care for Mark, though not as much as he cares for Johnny- Mark is, in his head, not exactly his responsibility.

Well I have (so many) more, but I think that’s enough for now lol. Point is, even though I haven’t drawn in a minute, I love these characters and their romanticized version of 1960s Tulsa so much and I think about them way too often lol

(dw once i get more into the swing of school I’ll be doin more art!)

[dozing-marshmallow]

FIRST DATE WITH CHRIS MCLEAN HEADCANONS

Let’s see how far along he meets first date etiquette. 

For starters, he absolutely refused to tell you where he was going to take you so you were stuck a week before on what to wear, trying to base it on what Chris would choose. 

On one hand, he had standards high and strict from his wealth and reputation.

On the other hand, he also has his general personality where he was carefree like a child.

Can you imagine if you turned up in heels and dangling earrings just for him to take you to an amusement park?

Brrrr. But you’d rather that than show up in dungarees for a posh dinner.

Thankfully, when he does arrive outside your place to meet you, he’s well dressed and even brings you flowers (though, the bouquet was of his favourite kind.) informing you that you made the right decision of going ravishing.

He takes your hand to the limo (Heaven forbid he drives, he’s hired someone instead).

Ravishing it was, for the destination was in fact, a fancy restaurant.

If it wasn’t for Chris, you wouldn’t even have the riches to dream about stepping into this place!

Speaking of the man, he didn’t even need to make a reservation; seeing him, the waiter immediately rushed to ready a table.

“This place is mainly for awesome famous people. Like me! And I guess, you too.”

Sitting down at the table(with a pretty remarkable night view), you had a lot of fun scanning through the high class menu.

He spent most of the evening talking about himself and his accomplishments, but you expected that.

Not to the degree he was going on.

It was a bit obstructive since he would jump from one thing to another in the same prideful manner while your engagement ceased every time.

“My agent was really proud of me for taking the hosting job of Total Drama and for making everyone laugh! Don’t you agree?”

“Absolutely! You were made for Total Drama, no wonder why your agent is proud!”

“Haha yeah! And especially with my experience hosting that ice skating show, you have no idea how many producers wanted me for their upcoming shows!”

“Oh? That’s really great!”

“Any other reality show host would be too tired to consider taking on other shows, but not me! I humbly believe (and know) that with my face on any tv show, more success is guaranteed than whatever amount of success it already has. What can I say? I’m just that good at what I do!”

“I see...”

Your mood lifted up when the food arrives, but only a short amount of time. Chris wears a napkin around his neck, and after some lighthearted ridiculing, you do too.

“(Y/NNN).” He whines,“You don’t use your fish knife for the main meal! You use your dinner knife!” He sharply holds up his dinner knife,“Jeez! You’re not that poor, are you?”

Suddenly, the food doesn’t taste so nice anymore.

You awkwardly sip on your glass of wine, watching all kinds of girls run up to Chris (even the waiters) for pictures, giggles, autographs.

To make matters worse, Chris was actively encouraging it, with his own winking and smiling. He did that more than the number of times he’s asked you a question about...you.

Okay I get that he’s a well known celebrity, but...is he serious?

At least he took care of the full check?

Sigh. That’s what you had to tell yourself to make up for his insensitive disinterest in your life.

So much for a romantic dinner. You didn’t think you’d feel exhausted, nor did you think you would feel more opposite than your expectations to never want the night to end.

As you leave the restaurant, he smiles as your head is down.

What were you thinking? Of course he wasn’t going to be like how you’d imagine in your fantasies. Why did you think he would be more thoughtful off television?

“Uh, (Y/N)?” He calls a small while after the limo journey home.

You feign a smile,“Yes, Chris?” Did he remember another great thing he did?

“I’m...getting the feeling you didn’t enjoy tonight.”

Huh? You didn’t see that coming,“What makes you think that? Of course I did. I got to go on a date with the Chris McLean. Only millions could dream of this once in a lifetime opportunity, right?”

“But you’re not taking it that way...”

Aw, was his ego hurt? “It doesn’t matter how I feel, I enjoyed the restaurant and having you with me tonight, okay?”

He raised an eyebrow,“It doesn’t matter how you feel...? What makes you say that? Of course it does. It’s our date, right?”

You scoff,“More like your date.”

“What?”

Your heart races,“It’s fine, Chris. I know you have thousands of other girls on a list to go on a date with, that’s especially gotten longer after tonight and I’m just some temporary placement.”

“Dude... Do you really think I would want to give a chance to go out with those random girls I happened to see today when I have you? And what do you mean temporary? Do...you not want to be together anymore?”

You sigh,“Chris, look. I like you, really I do. But tonight, wasn’t the greatest. I can write a whole book about you after today, and meanwhile you can’t even name five things I achieved in my life.”

“You don’t need to, (Y/N), I already made all the volumes of my autobiographies, but I appreciate the thought.”

You twisted your head away from him in disbelief. Is he seriously still thinking about himself now? As if this date couldn’t be more deprecating.

“Haha, but really, I’m the one that should be sorry. You barely got a chance to tell me more about yourself, and I was a jerk for belittling you.” He put a luscious hand onto your jaw to turn your sight back slowly, causing you to look into his...genuine eyes,“Will you let me take you on another? Pretty please? I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Well, will you?

[artandshid]

Of Guilt and Butterflies Part 2:

Disclaimer:Some people were asking for a Part 2 so here it is. I had a lot of fun writing this, so let me know if you have any feedback or anything!!

Eddie wakes up hearing pounding on his trailer door. He looks over at Chrissy is the bed next to him and feels the lump in his throat, he then looks at the clock next to her to read 7:32 AM. Now who the fuck is pounding on his door at 7 in the morning?

He gets out of bed with a grumble and makes his way towards the front door, ready to curse out whoever is out there.

He swings the door open ready to cause a scene, until he sees that it’s you. He feels a little glimmer of hope, thinking that you’ve come back to him, ready to forgive him.

But all of that hope goes away when he sees the leather jacket in your hand. It’s been about a month since everything happened and he never even thought of you returning any of his things. He never thought of returning any of your things.

“Hey” he says dumbly stepping out and closing the door behind him.

“Here I figured you would want this back.” she said handing him the jacket and not looking at him.

He takes it from her and she turns to leave, but he stops her.

“Can we at least talk for a second, fuck.” he raises his voice in frustration and she turns back to look at him with tears in her eyes. His heart breaks all over again.

“I really don’t have anything to say Eddie, I just want to move forward.” She says and looks at the ground again.

“Can you yell at me or something. I deserve it.” He pleads with her, never letting go of her hand.

“Eds,” She says softly and he allows a tear to roll down his cheek. “I don’t want to yell at you, it won’t make me feel any better, I just want to move on.”

“Without me, you want to move on without me by your side.” He says shaking his head.

“No I don’t want to, but you didn’t really leave me with any choice. I don’t know how to have any relationship or friendship or whatever the fuck we had going on knowing what you were able to do to me.”

“It was a mistake, I need you y/n.” He begs once more. She needs to understand that he is nothing without her in his life.

“You don’t need me Eddie. Listen, I forgive you, I just can’t forget what happened. But I forgive you, I know that you’re a great guy and you made a mistake. Unfortunately it was on my behalf.” She says with a chuckle that had no hint of humor behind it. “Please forgive yourself Eddie.” She says while cupping his cheek.

“You’re still my best friend, even if I’m not yours, you’re still mine, I will still be here for you if you need anything.” Eddie says while snuggling into her hand.

“I appreciate that, but you can’t be that person for me anymore.” No words have ever hurt him like those did. He once held the honor of being the person she would run to for help, advice or just for comfort. And he forced her to take that honor away from him. Another tear rolls down his cheek, she wipes it away.

“Listen to me Eddie, what you guys did hurt me, but deep down Chrissy is a nice person, too. And I want you to be happy with her. Please don’t let this stop you from enjoying that relationship. I will move on, I will be okay.”

This is the moment that Eddie knew that he would never be good enough for her. She is standing in front of him being so selfless and worrying about him after he hurt her. Telling him to forgive himself. And he knows he’s an asshole because he doesn’t want her to move on. He wants her to forgive and come running back to his arms. But she’s too strong for that.

“You’re too good of a person. I never deserved you.” He says with a humorless laugh.

“Well I try.” She says trying to make lighthearted of the situation but he could see a few more tears fall from her eyes. “Nobody deserves to wallow in their mistakes, including you. Take care of yourself Eds.” She says and kisses him on the cheek, making her way back to her car. He lets her leave this time. Not because he deserves to move on, but because she does.

——————————————————————————————

“Eddie I was nominated for prom queen, even after all the drama, Hawkin’s student body still thinks I’m worthy.” Chrissy runs up to Eddie to tell him the news.

“That’s great babe.” He says with a closed lip smile and kisses her forehead. In all honesty, he didn’t really care about all of that. All that means is that he’s going to have to go to prom. With Chrissy.

He misses you more than ever. There’s so many things he wanted to tell you. How Corroded Coffin is booking bigger gigs now so there’s a chance he could leave this God forsaken town. How he’s for sure graduating this year, no doubts, all of his teachers say he’s on the right path and with only about a month left of the semester it’s almost impossible for him to fuck it up now. How he’s in love with you and how he misses you more than anything. How none of these things really matter to him because he can’t do it with you by his side.

He found that watching you from afar is one of his new favorite hobbies. He’s happy that you’re happy. But he wishes that you were happy with him.

Again who’s fault is that

Mine I know but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

He wants to go talk to you, but you’ve been hanging around Steve Harrington and his crew a lot and he doesn’t feel like he belongs there. It’s weird, he’s never felt like he didn’t belong anywhere that you were, but ever since you told him that you just wanted to move on, he feels that any place he had in your life is completely dissolved.

He looks down at his girlfriend, realizing that she’s been having a conversation with a brick wall basically.

“Who else was nominated?” He asks her not really that interested.

“Oh well there’s me, and then Sandra made it, Nancy Wheeler, Robin, which surprised all of us but I guess it makes sense, she had that chilled, everybody likes her vibe and then Y/n.” She said your name looking at him expectedly. Waiting to see his reaction. She knows he misses you. Hell she misses you too. They both know they fucked up. Chrissy wasn’t even sure if she liked Eddie anymore. The whole relationship feels wrong and forced now.

Eddie doesn’t show any emotion on his face. He knows you deserved to be on the nominee list, he wants to congratulate you. But he knows you really couldn’t care less about winning. He knows that you didn’t really care about being nominated.

“That’s great, I’m sure you’ll win babe.” is all he says, once again giving her a half hearted smile and walking off to class.

——————————————————————————————

It’s two weeks before prom when Eddie sees you on the side of the road, it looks like your car is broke down. Obviously he pulls off to help you.

“You alright y/n” you didn’t notice him pull over, so he scares you a little bit.

“Yeah, you know how my car is, Steve should be here any minute.” She says waving him off trying to assure him that she’s fine, but he could tell that she’s shaken up.

“Well until he gets here I can take a look at it for you and keep you company.” he says while lifting your hood.

“that’s not necessary Eddie, really i’m okay.”

“I want to, anything for my best friend.” he mutters under his breath, but she heard him.

A few moments of comfortable silence go by while Eddie takes a look to see if he can help with anything.

“So potential prom queen eh?” he says with a chuckle.

She snorts, “Yeah I guess so, never thought I had the potential to be honest.” she says while picking at her nail beds.

“Of course you did, who’s the lucky guy who gets to take you?” He says, hoping that his jealousy isn’t evident is his tone.

“Steve asked me a few days ago, just as friends though.”

“What about Billy?” he asks.

“What about Billy? He’s just a work friend, he’s too egotistical for me, but as a coworker he’s alright.” She says with a laugh.

Eddie laughs too, he was worried about nothing with Billy. Not that he had any right to be worried anyways.

“So how are things with Chrissy?” He can tell that she really doesn’t care, she’s just trying to make conversation.

“Okay, but I don’t really wanna talk about that if that’s alright.” He says while going under the hood again, “You know all of my teachers say that I’m for sure graduating this year. I’ve wanted to tell you since I found out but I never really got the opportunity.”

“I’m really proud of you Eddie, you worked your ass off this year. You said it 86 is your year.” She said with genuine happiness for him.

“It was supposed to be my year, but I wish I did some things better.” He says looking her in the eye. She smiles sadly at him.

“I told you to forgive yourself.”

“I can’t, I hurt the one person I care about most in this world. I was stupid y/n, I know you said you forgave me, but I miss having you around.”

“It’s not that easy Eds, I wanna be around but it’s not fair to me and quite frankly it’s not fair to you. I still love you Eddie with everything in me. And you love Chrissy. It’s not fair for me to do that to myself. And you deserve to enjoy your relationship with her without worrying how I feel.”

“I’d choose you over her any day Y/n” He tells her because he wants to tell her that he loves her too, but he doesn’t know how. Just then he hears another car pull up and he turns to see it’s Steve.

Y/n allows a few tears to drop before she says, “Eddie when it mattered you chose her” and with that she gets into Steve’s car.

——————————————————————————————

It’s the night of prom and Eddie would rather be anywhere than this stupid gym wearing this stupid tux. Chrissy looks beautiful, but that doesn’t mean much to him anymore, Everyday he realizes how stupid he was to let you go.

He doesn’t see you at all during the night until the first slow song comes on. Time After Time. He hates the song. Well he used to, until the one time in his van you said how you wanted this to be your wedding song. To whoever you married. At the time Eddie didn’t understand the pain in his stomach when you said this. He just thought that the song was so horrible that it made him nauseous. He now understands that it was jealousy for whoever got to marry you.

As he’s dancing with Chrissy he looks up to see you, laughing at something Steve said. Standing entirely too close to Steve. He gets the same feeling in his stomach as he did the day he saw you at the pool with Billy. He wants to push Steve away and tell him to fuck off. But he knew better. He knew you deserved better than him.

You looked beautiful. You had a tight, long green dress on. It was beautiful just like you. It was different than what everyone else was wearing too. Just as he expected you to do. He knew that if you weren’t nominated you wouldn’t even be here, so of course you would make it count by standing out.

He smiles to himself thinking about what tonight could’ve been like if he never took the money. You and him could’ve been hanging out at his place right now, watching a movie. He wonders if he ever would have realized his feelings for you if he never took the money. He likes to think he would have.

Another hour passes and it was finally time to announce Prom King and Queen. Eddie watches you up there, talking to Robin and Nancy. He can tell that you’re uncomfortable up there. But you look beautiful either way.

“And now to announce our Prom Queen of the night.” The Principal announces into the microphone. Looking out at the crowd to see the majority of the people looking anxious to see who won, and the other ones not caring at all.

Eddie looks at Chrissy to see her bouncing on her heels out of anticipation. He realizes that this is the peak of her life. It makes him sick to think that this could also be the peak of his own. Dating the Prom Queen of Hawkins High. He wants more out of life than that. He has dreams that go beyond this fucking town. He has dreams that involve you and him taking on the world together. He doesn’t think he could do it without you.

“Everyone please give a round of applause for your 1986 Prom Queen, miss y/n y/l/n!” He looks at your reaction, you’re excited of course you’re excited you just won, but he knows that you would’ve been okay not winning.

You step up to allow the principal to place the crown on your head and take the sash, giving a small thank you into the microphone.

Eddie chances a look at Chrissy. She has tears in her eyes, but she’s smiling. A sad smile, but she’s smiling. Deep down she is happy for you, but now she doesn’t know what to look forward to anymore.

“And your prom King everybody, please clap for mr. Jason Carver.” His stomach drops again in jealousy. You have to share a slow dance with Jason.

He watches as Jason takes your hand and leads you to the middle of the gym. You don’t look entirely uncomfortable, in fact you even laugh at something he says. Eddie can’t watch this anymore and goes outside for a breath of fresh air. He didn’t know that Chrissy was following him.

Eddie takes a seat on the stairs outside of the school, allowing a few tears to fall, wishing that he could’ve held you once tonight while you swayed to the songs playing and he whispered the lyrics in your ears.

“You’re in love with her, Eddie” Chrissy’s voice shocks and he turns around to look at her. He can’t deny it, he doesn’t want to deny it, so he just says, “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be sorry Eddie, we both knew this wasn’t going to last anyways.” She says with a sniffle and sits down beside him.

He just nods his head not knowing what to say.

“We fucked up royally Munson.” She all but whispered.

“I think we need to break up.” She continues when he doesn’t say anything. He only nods in retaliation.

They sit in uncomfortable silence until Eddie says, “Are you upset you lost?”

“Of course I’m upset, I’ve dedicated my whole high school life to winning this to lose to someone who deserves it way more than me, but doesn’t want it. It upsets me to know that I don’t have a right to be upset.” Once again Eddie doesn’t know what to say.

“I should go home, have a good life Eddie.”

“Do you need a ride?” He asks her knowing that it was the right thing to do.

She smiles at him but shakes her head no, “I think a walk to clear my head would do me good.”

And with that she walks away. He should probably go home too. But he needs to talk to you. He needs you in his life.

——————————————————————————————

You walk up the sidewalk to your door. The stupid crown in hand and your stupid dress constricting you in a way that makes you want to pull your skin off.

Tonight was fun, but it would’ve been more fun with Eddie, you hate yourself for thinking it but you’re still so in love with him, it’s unfair.

As you draw nearer to your door, you see a familiar silhouette. Upon closer inspection you notice it’s Eddie. He has his head in his hands and it sounds like he’s crying.

“Eddie,” you say with caution and he lifts his head upon hearing your voice, “are you alright?” you question as you go to sit next to him on your steps.

“No, I miss you so much, I need you in my life.” He says with a sob.

You shake your head, “Eddie you don’t need me, you’re doing alright and I don’t think your girlfriend would like you saying stuff like that to me.”

“Me and Chrissy broke up, she noticed how in love I was with you and ended it.” He says without really thinking about what he said.

Your stomach drops. He loves you. It doesn’t make up for everything he’s done, but he loves you. And you hate him for saying it, because you’re supposed to be moving on. You let a few tears of your own slip and shake your head again. “You can’t say stuff like that to me Eddie.”

He nods his head, but says, “I’m sorry Y/n, you really do look beautiful though. You stood out from everyone.” He says with a small smile.

You smile back at him, talking to him won’t do any harm, right? “Thank you, that was the point. If i had to attend the stupid prom I might as well have some fun with it.” He chuckles because that’s what he thought before. He knows her so well.

“You look extremely handsome too, Eds. Never thought I’d see the day you dressed in a suit.”

He just shrugs his shoulders, “I didn’t want to miss seeing you win prom queen.” He says sort of jokingly.

You snort and look at the crown, “It’s such a joke. I shouldn’t have won.” You say with sincerity.

“Yes you should have, you didn’t seem to mind sharing a dance with Carver either.” He said while nudging your shoulder, even though he wanted to shake you and force you to tell him what Carver said that made you laugh.

“Yeah well, you weren’t the only one I forgave you know. Once he lost Chrissy I guess he realized that popularity is kind of bullshit. He’s a little less insufferable now.” You say and Eddie looks at you like he’s seeing you for the first time, Of course he knew that you were a great person. But you truly do find the beauty in everyone.

“It’s getting late Eddie, you should go home.” You say standing up and getting ready to head inside.

Eddie wasn’t ready to watch you walk away though, “What’s going on with your car?”

You laugh sarcastically and roll your eyes, “$500 to fix, it’s gonna take a while for me to get the money but hopefully i’ll have it by graduation. Good night Eddie.”

Eddie smiles knowing exactly what to do with the money.

———————————————————————-

You walk into the car shop wondering why you got a call saying your car was ready. You told them it’s going to take a while to get the money.

You talk to the guy at the front desk, “I don’t have the money to pay for it, I’m sorry I told them when they gave me the estimate that-“

“Some guy paid for it already. He didn’t give a name but he had long curly hair and wore a leather jacket.”

You smile to yourself and grab your keys ready to go thank Eddie Munson.

———-

Eddie opens his front door to see you standing there.

“Hey”He says dumbly.

“Don’t hey me, I’m supposed to be moving on from you and then you go and pay for my car to be fixed. How did you even get the money?” you look at him like he’s crazy.

He shrugs and says, “Well some asshole paid me a fuck ton of money to ask out my best friend, but then I realized i’m in love with her, so the money wasn’t worth shit to me anymore.” he says to you.

You look at him and at that moment you choose to listen to your heart over your head and reach up and kiss him.

The kiss is passionate and hungry on both parts and Eddie feels himself swooning.

“So we’re okay y/n?”

“We’re more than okay Munson.”

[sev-on-kamino]

Congrats on 200!!

Was wondering if you could give headcanons about reader shitfaced drunkenly saying I love you and how they react either just right away or both then and the next morning

With whoever you want and however many you want ❤️ but please rex and dogma??

Thank you so much, love!!!

Oooh this is a fun prompt, thank you for sending it in 💙💙

Warnings: being drunk, passing out, but you’re safe as houses with our boys, so no worries. Minors still DNI.

Rex, Dogma, Jesse, Kix, and Fives react to you saying ‘I love you’ when you’re drunk:

Rex

He blinks several times and ??? blue screens

You definitely just said “I love you, Rex.” He’s positive because he’s perfectly sober.

He knows you care for him, but this is another level that he’s not equipped to deal with on the fly, so he just gets you back to the barracks and tucked into your bed.

The next day, he calls you into his office to talk.

After he awkwardly beats around the bush, he finally takes a deep breath, and asks if you remember the night before.

Once you assure him you do, he asks if you meant what you said.

After you make it clear that you meant it drunk, and you mean it sober then you’ll get the softest “I love you too” imaginable.

Dogma

His heart skips a beat, but he thinks you’re teasing him, and he quells the hope that you mean it.

“Did Fives put you up to this?” 😒

You insist it’s true, but it’s hard for him to take you seriously when you can’t even walk straight.

“Sure, sure, cyar’ika.” He sighs, and gets you home safely.

The next day after breakfast he asks again if Fives told you to mess with him.

You ask what the kriff he’s on about, and he tells you.

Your face heats up and you swallow hard. “No, Fives didn’t tell me to say that, I just don’t have a filter when I’m drunk…”

The pair of you stand there a moment while he processes what you just said. “Me too,” he blurts out. “I feel the same about you too I mean.”

Before you can react he kisses you desperately before saying he needs to run drills, or clean something.

Jesse

He grins at you, “Oh, you’re in a fun mood, huh, mesh’la?”

You say it again, crawling into his lap and telling him how gorgeous and perfect he is before passing out.

He holds you close for awhile thinking about how good it would feel to hear you say those words when you meant them.

The next day he takes the time to tease you about how utterly hammered you were. He details the dancing, the singing, and the bar fight you almost started, but he leaves out the “I love you.”

You tell him you just remember getting into his lap and going to sleep.

“Yeah, that’s it. Oh wait, you also told me I was gorgeous and perfect and you love me. Ring any bells?”

“I’ll accept the loving you part, because I do. But the other stuff? You made that up.”

He will definitely argue with you for a good long while before ever getting around to the fact that he loves you too.

Kix

He cups your face, “Tell me again when you’re sober, ok?”

You drunkenly protest, “No I have to tell you now, Kix. I love you.”

He kisses your forehead, and wraps you up in a hug. “Nope, I’m only accepting sober declarations of love, cyare.”

There’s pouting, whining, some tears, and then you pass right out.

The next day he strolls up to you, and hands you meds and a canteen of water before he asks, “Have you gotten all that liquid courage out of your veins? Can I hear those sweet words from my cyare, who can think straight?”

Your face heats up, but you nod and tell him again.

You get the warmest smile full of unspoken devotion before he tells you he loves you too.

Fives

He thinks you’re being playful at first, so he plays along. “Of course you do, mesh’la. Who else could be worthy?”

You get annoyed because you’re not playing, and he’s not listening. It doesn’t help that you’re leaning on him for support, and trying to keep from falling.

“Whatever, Fives. I take it back anyway,” you mutter after enduring his lighthearted teasing.

“You can’t take it back, that’s selfish 😌”

The two of you go back and forth all the way up to him getting you tucked into bed safely.

The next morning he doesn’t give you a chance to say anything before he says, “You know I love you too, right?”

You narrow your eyes at him, “Are you fucking with me right now?”

He shakes his head, “I wouldn’t play with your heart like that, cyare. It’s too precious.”

Your gaze softens, and you lean forward to kiss him, he eagerly meets you halfway, murmuring against your lips how much he loves you.

I feel like I always forget my taglist when answering asks, but I remembered this time: @secondaryrealm @dystopicjumpsuit @iamburdened @sunshinesdaydream (Hardcase will get his own post 😘) @dukeoftheblackstar @rexxdjarin @wolffegirlsunite @sleepingsun501 @808tsuika

[elvensorceress]

fuck it friday ⚡️

tagged by @alyxmastershipper @sibylsleaves @monsterrae1 @cowboy-buddie @fiona-fififi @spotsandsocks @buddierights @wikiangela @heartbeatdiaz @prince-buck-diaz @panbuckley @ebdaydreamer

tagging @shortsighted-owl @hippolotamus @bigassdiaz @ronordmann @wh0re-behavi0r @messyhairdiaz @rogerzsteven @spaceprincessem @911onabc @bekkachaos @shitouttabuck @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @eddiesbicowboy @transboybuckley @the-likesofus @jobairdxx @wildlife4life @babytrapperdiaz @thisyearsloveisnow @chaosandwolves @littlebitofdiaz @buck-eddie @gentoodiaz @fleurdebeton 💕💕💕 If you have anything you want to share or talk about or post 🤗💜

More Catching Lightning ⚡️ this directly follows this scene I posted which I have since edited and reposted because ajsdfdkljs it just wasn’t right yet don’t look at me. Have a good long chunk because I haven’t been around much and I miss you all 😘 

CW for some discussion of suicidal ideation (the boys have issues. we’re working on it 😵‍💫)

Eddie’s heart died. How do either of them feel anything after that? 

Isolating yourself, feeling like you don’t belong and can’t relate anymore, withdrawing and detaching yourself from loved ones, preoccupying yourself with death, losing your sense of self and purpose, your life losing meaning when you only feel guilty for surviving… all classic responses to this kind of trauma. And why Frank has a very busy, very full schedule.

Buck half shrugs, half nods. “We talk about it sometimes. Me and Natalia. We talk about death. Because that’s what she does. Helps people come to terms with dying. But I’m not facing down my death right now. It already happened. End of life care is about comfort, pain management, fulfilling mental and emotional needs, whatever spiritual needs someone has. You make amends as much as you can. You say goodbye. You tell people you— you tell people you love them. You make sure they know that you love them. You come to terms with being done and that there are things you never accomplished or got to have. Stuff like that. What I went through is different. I don’t know how much it helps. To talk with her. She doesn’t get death like what I went through.”

Eddie gives him a sideways look. “Is that why you were interested in her? Because she helps people who are dying?” 

“No. Partly. Maybe. I don’t know. Sort of. I figured it couldn’t hurt. She was curious about it and I could talk about what happened and it didn’t make her look at me weird. She thought it was cool.” 

So tales of Buck’s many almost-deaths were attempting to recapture magic. Wonderful. 

“But I don’t know what to think anymore. It feels like something should have come out of it. It feels like I shouldn’t be the same. I should have answers. I should know what the fuck I’m doing. I should be able to choose things and pick a new couch I’m comfortable with. I-I should be able to find meaning in my life. I should know how to be happy. I should know what happiness is for me. I died. I can say I’m going to make every day count and I’m going live my life to the fullest and I’m lucky and thankful to be alive. But what does it even mean? What is happiness? What do I do now? I don’t know what to do. Why don’t I get a moment of clarity? Why does nothing make sense? Why am I still lost and confused and stuck? Why don’t I get any answers?”

“You’re expecting death to give you answers?” That’s— even for Buck that’s bad. All of this is. 

“I don’t know. I keep thinking about Lev and how he said he figured it all out right before he died. But he didn’t come back. Maybe he wouldn’t remember anything if he had.” Buck lifts and drops his hands in utter hopelessness. “I just. I know I was waiting. I wasn’t going to rush into anything. But it made me feel normal. It made me feel something like myself. It’s just fun and lighthearted and I don’t have to worry about anything or—”

“Or feel anything? Because feeling anything is too much?”

“What if it is?” 

“In that case, you get to be me this time instead of Ana. That’s how that works. You tell yourself everything is nice, no pressure, you’re having fun, it’s not serious. It’s easy because nothing means anything. Until she’s invested and you aren’t because you can’t feel anything. And maybe you try and you think you can fake it or that it won’t matter as long as you’re convincing. But you’ll never love her and you know it. And you just end up hurting her.” 

Buck looks at him, studies him for a long moment, and Eddie isn’t sure if he’s analyzing his own life or if he’s contemplating Eddie’s. Maybe both, because Buck doesn’t really respond. He only says, “I feel like I’m trying to swim and I’m treading water and I keep getting hit with these waves that pull me under and then I don’t know which direction is up or if I’m supposed to drown. But every day I’m alive, it feels like it wasn’t supposed to happen. It feels like I shouldn’t be here. I can say it’s a gift. Life. I think it is, and I’m thankful I still have one. But I don’t know what to feel. Or who I am anymore.”

A fracture goes right down the middle of Eddie’s heart and he wishes he could just hold him and protect him and offer any comfort that might help. He wants to reach out. He wants to reach out and touch him, find him solid and alive under his own hands. Where Eddie can pour comfort and healing into all his wounds. But he can’t. They can’t ever touch anymore. Eddie can’t fix him. Eddie can’t even help him. Too much feels severed. What does he say? What can ever help? 

Maybe a safe place where Buck easily falls asleep and a cup of filtered water and hope that there’s something after pain and death and confusion. And a night where they were never apart. 

He never wants to be apart. 

“Everything feels different when you get that close to death and come back from it,” Eddie says, as carefully, lovingly as he did the night Buck hid out with them because it was sanctuary. It was a refuge and he could be at peace. He could be somewhere that is always offered as a home for him. Buck is always part of their home. “Nothing feels real. You don’t know what is real and what isn’t. You don’t know if you’re dying again or if your brain just decided it would be fun to make you panic. Everyone else moves and keeps moving forward, but you can get stuck in that moment where you almost died. It’s all you can think of, it’s all you can feel.” 

Blood and pain and lightning and burning and the agony of separation. It’s always there. It’s wedged between them. And he can’t reach. He can never reach. He tries and Buck is too far away. He tries and he’s not strong enough to lift him by the single thread miraculously binding them together. 

Eddie breathes deeply and it still feels like everything in his chest is broken. “I wish I could tell you how to climb out of that. I never handled it well. Sometimes, all you can do is survive and keep surviving. But you can’t avoid it. And cutting yourself away from people you love and who love you will only make it a thousand times worse.” 

Buck folds his hands together like he doesn’t know what to do with them. He blinks like his eyes are stinging and welling up. “My parents told me I was born to save someone. And when I was in a coma, in that world where everything was fucked up, they actually loved me. I almost wanted to stay just for that. Because here, they had me to save my brother. They had me to save him and I didn’t save him. And here, I’m a firefighter. And I love being a firefighter because I get to help people, I love helping people, taking care of them. But I keep feeling like I’m only here for that. Because of that. And I want to be here for me, not because I’m trying to live for someone else. I want to live for me because I want to live. I want to feel like I’m worth living for. I want my life to be worth living just because it’s mine. I know that’s what I should feel. I want to feel like I should be alive. But I don’t really feel like that right now.” 

Eddie’s heart just shatters all over again. He knows all too well what that is like. Far too well. He wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Not even a certain soulless, selfish, demon reporter. 

“It is worth it, Evan,” he says because that lonely, unloved little boy needs to hear it. “Your life is very worth it. Not because you save other people. They might have had you to save someone, but that is not why your life is worth living. You are worth it just because you exist. You don’t have to do anything or be anything. And I know it’s really hard to feel like it sometimes. That’s why I worry. And why I get angry and hate when you hurt yourself. I hate when you act like you don’t matter. I know feeling like you don’t deserve to be alive. That is exactly how I had a breakdown. It’s exactly how I almost killed myself last year. I wanted to.”

Buck’s face contorts and tears spill down his cheeks. “Eddie.” 

“I didn’t. I wouldn’t. I just—” he stops and pushes away wetness from his own eyes. “I felt it.” 

Buck reaches for him but stops himself before they touch. His breath hitches and he tries to wipe at his face. But more tears fall. 

Eddie offers his hands, open palms in the space between them. Just in case. 

Buck takes them and sinks to his knees on the floor in front of Eddie like he might collapse and sob on Eddie’s lap. Eddie catches him instead and curls down around him, holding Buck’s head to his chest. 

Buck clings to him maybe out of fear. But maybe he never wants to let go. His hands clench in Eddie’s uniform and he holds on with what has to be all of his strength. It’s hard, constricting, binding, and Eddie never wants him to let go.

It makes Eddie’s heart flutter like it’s alive after all. 

[sushisocks]

MORE MACSUMMER I BEG

I GOT YOU ANON!!!! Here's an assortment of MORE silly goofy headcanons about my favorite silly goofy couple <3

These bitches are COMPETITIVE!! Anything can be a race or a bet between them, to the detriment of EVERYONE else. A friendly rivalry over who between them can bring in the most for the camp isn't enough, they're also betting on whether or not Sean'll eat that fisheye Pearson just discarded, or whether Lenny can shotgun a can of soup before Sean counts to 20. A lot of their less-destructive dares are food-consumption-related, yes, how did you know?

They’ve almost broken their legs and arms several times over with the racing, though. They’ve been scruffed by Arthur about just as many times.

Yes, Lenny is a morosexual. Yes, being around Sean debuffs his impulse control. Part of the fun is that they’re always egging eachother on!!

Meanwhile Sean’s type is very much ‘down to earth, smart, with a fun streak’ and Lenny checks all the boxes. He likes the push-and-pull Lenny offers, as someone who’s unafraid to call Sean on his BS while also going along on the more lighthearted stuff.

(Granted, ‘lighthearted’ in this context may or may not include robbery and arson!)

The inside jokes are neverending; Sean can, like, hold up a spoon and waggle his eyebrows and that'll mean something that has Lenny in hysterics.

Sean might not be that inclined towards reading for himself, but he LOVES listening to Lenny's voice, and will often ask Lenny to read aloud. It doesn't matter if it's a news article, a children's story, or the driest factual book on the face of the planet; if Lenny is reading it to him, Sean will remember what he hears up until the moment he starts dozing off. If Lenny quits too early, Sean will wake right back up and demand he continues until he starts dozing again.

They’ve been stuck in that loop for hours before, but the clue is to let Sean fall asleep properly before Lenny can rest his voice - he’s a lot more willing to do this when he realizes it’s one of the only surefire ways for Sean to NOT have a nightmare <3

They are SO “We aren’t joined at the hip!!” *is actually joined at the hip* core, to me. Lenny will be like ‘I can go on this job on my own!😤’ and then come back and beeline towards Sean to tell him how it went. 

You know that one comic that’s like “I gotta pee” “Ok” and then they walk away hand in hand? Literally. They don’t even realize this is what they’re like!

They’re VERY good at keeping arguments or fights private; the gang only notices because those are the only times they’re not constantly around each other, beyond camp/gang duties. The fights never last long, and are never that serious - they're usually good and back to normal within a day or so.

Their most public fights are the ones they have when they’re drunk, and they only really consist of them fussing over each other. “Did you have any water, Len? I’ll grab you some water.” “Are you cold, Sean? Here, take this blanket” <- They’re both slurring, wobbling, and can’t see straight. The second one of them stands, the other is yelling at them to sit down bcz they’ll break a leg after two steps, so nothing actually gets done or fetched, unless it’s within arms reach (and that's usually more liquor). It’s a whole thing; they’re both of the mind that ‘No! You shouldn’t take care of me, you’re drunk, I’m taking care of YOU!’ and SURPRISE it’s like another competition where they can't let the other win. See Lenny grabbing Sean by the ankle while Sean's trying to drag himself towards the water canteen, and now they're yelling and wrestling in the dirt over it. It’s stupid but entertaining for anyone witnessing them, if nothing else <3

Sean has a tendency to get lost, and Lenny is usually the one who ends up looking for/finding him. Sometimes it’s not even that Sean is lost, just distracted, and Lenny will join him in whatever misadventure he’s found himself on. Other times that distraction means Lenny finding him in like a field 30 minutes from camp, and promptly laughing his ass off bcz Sean is high in a tree after pissing off a bull or smth.

[imaginesbymk]

RESERVOIR DOGS PREFERENCE

FINDING OUT YOU HAVE A MINIMUM WAGE JOB

Characters: Mr. White (Larry), Mr. Orange (Freddy Newandyke), Mr. Blonde (Vic Vega), Mr. Pink, Mr. Brown + “Nice Guy” Eddie 

Tags: —

Taglist: @locke-writes​ & @aryn-the-bearheart​

A/N: something lighthearted and random! enjoy and leave a like/reblog/feedback <33 ^.^

MR. WHITE ( LARRY ) —

Mr. White seeing you bagging groceries wearing a bright vest with your name on it is just so unimaginable.

He makes your job easier by helping you bag his own groceries (even tho nowadays in most stores you have to do it yourself?)

“Your manager’s paying you well, right?”

“Larry, this is Wal-Mart. I don’t get paid enough to bag people’s odd choice for frozen dinners and tennis shoes.”

He swears not to tell a soul. But he visits you at work because he needs to go to the store every week.

MR. ORANGE ( FREDDY NEWANDYKE ) —

Mr. Orange notices you as the new sales associate at the comic book store.

You’re stocking merchandise on the top shelves, using the ladders.

“Y/N?” He calls you down. You froze, fearing the worst for all retailers, seeing someone you know at your own workplace is so embarrassing.

He doesn’t care at all, though. He’s just looking for the limited edition of the action figures he wanted. 

Probably wants you to smuggle him a lifelong supply of Marvel stuff from the back.

Orange makes a smug look when he’s at the counter. 

MR. BLONDE ( VIC VEGA ) —

The thing is, Blonde KNOWS you work at Big Kahuna, and becomes a total dick when you serve him.

It’s literally Squilliam making fun of Squidward for working at the Krusty Krab.

“I asked for no onions and tomatoes in my burger.”

“Wow, Vic. You’re a convict and a picky-eater. Grow up.”

Big Kahuna is one of his go-tos, so you don’t have much of a choice but to serve him food.

MR. PINK —

Of course... you’re a server at a restaurant

He’s just making fun of you, literally treats you the way a snobby customer treats their server.

“Whatever. What do you want? We’re serving the lunch special.”

Snapping his fingers at you to get your attention across the room

You threaten to spit in his food if he makes one more joke, and you mean it.

“Pink, I told you. We don’t serve those here.”

He doesn’t tip. 

MR. BROWN —

You work at the local Blockbuster.

"Hey, where’s the Spaghetti western movies?" You turn around and see Mr. Brown at the front desk.

Both your jaws are on the floor, staring at each other in pure shock.

He can’t stop giggling at you now, much to your annoyance.

It’s a good thing you know enough about your job and where everything is, so every time Brown comes in the store he always comes to you for movies he wants to rent, and you would put it on the store TV and watch it with him

“NICE GUY” EDDIE CABOT —

Eddie seeing you at the dry cleaners when he has to get all the suits ready was a big surprise for him.

“I don’t believe it. From a distance, I was thinking to myself, ‘Hey, that mf kinda looks like y/n’, and lo and behold!”

He uses this to his advantage, though. He wants his, his Dad’s and the people his dad recruits’s clothes clean and tailored to a T.

You’re gonna be his go-to for clean suits from now on.

Would come in, cheerily calling for you or greeting you.

[watatsumiis]

Valentine's day mutual ships (part 2)

Ok, so here's part two!! I tried to reach out to some people and ask about gender preferences and such but this is taking A Lot already, so I'm so sorry if you got paired with someone you don't like/don't have a preference for - if you'd like a different one, just send an ask and I'll do my very best to come up with something else.

Also I promise the disparity in length isn't anything personal, I just got more inspiration for some prompts is all! I love all my moots!!

@xkseii 

I associate you very heavily with Al Haitham (probably due to your theme and such), but romantically, I think I could see you being paired with someone like Gorou or maybe even Kazuha, they seem like the perfect people for you to tease since they’re so easily flustered and I think you’d have some fun with that. You and Kazuha could go thrift shopping together and pick out outfits for your afternoon date (maybe you’d go to one of those small restaurants where they have live music!) And I’d imagine you and Gorou would go spend a day at the beach, buy some take out and just hang out, go swimming and splash water on each other, build sandcastles and walk along the beach!! 

Failing those two, I really feel like you and Childe would have some fun, he’d spare no expense taking you out to a fancy restaurant, then out on the town to terrorise have fun teasing some cute guys as a duo (all /lh of course) <3 

@baizhvs 

Ok, listen, I know it’s the painfully obvious option and I’m sorry for that but the more I see and interact with you, the more I think you and Baizhu would pair up so perfectly, like you both have this ‘do no harm, take no shit’ sort of attitude with the caring undertone, just a little more detached (which isn’t at all a bad thing!! /gen) I could see you two having a very lowkey day of running errands hand-in-hand, just doing things that need to be done, then coming home in the evening and cooking a super cute romantic dinner together and settling in to watch a cheesy romance movie or book (whether or not you like them, Baizhu adores picking apart all the inconsistencies and unrealistic parts, so if you’re bored you can just listen to him bitch about romance tropes). Overall it would be pretty low-key, but still romantic and nice! 

@teyvattales 

You’re such a bubbly and sweet person, I’d love to pair you with someone who could match your vibes… my heart says someone like… Kokomi! I just think you two would get along really well and have a lot of interesting things to talk about, I could see you going to get bubble tea and then checking out a big aquarium - she’ll probably spend a lot of time talking your ear off about them (though she does her very best to stop every now and then so you can get a word in edgewise). Maybe you’d end the day by going to one of those bars that also have board games available to rent and play some together :D ! 

Failing that, I think you and Venti would have a good time! His lighthearted and airy (ha) attitude would mesh well with you, I think! I could see you hopping between a lot of places, doing whatever takes your fancy, whether that be clubs, movies, fancy restaurants, events, yall would just flit through and do whatever you like! He’d totally do a lot of cute cheesy stuff to try and make you laugh, but then get super embarrassed and shy when you do the same.

@oikadiors 

I don’t think we’ve interacted very much (I’m so sorry if we have my head is just empy 😭 ) but something about your whole Vibe makes me feel like you’d mesh well with Chongyun! I think he’d absolutely dote on you and look up to you! I could see you both going to an 80s style diner and getting a big milkshake or sundae that you share <3 He absolutely gives you a lot of little gifts that he’s picked up over the past few weeks to give to you - they’re all super cute and thoughtful, and he goes BRIGHT RED if you give him anything in return, or show him any semblance of affection. 

@pardis-dhyai

Hmm, you seem like a very intelligent and patient person, I could imagine you having a really lovely time with Sucrose! I could see you going to places like the zoo and aquarium, infodumping back and forth about all different kinds of animals and whatever else has taken your interest recently! They’d probably have a few gifts prepared for you, but they have to hype themselves up before they hand any over. They’d give you a flower that has some kind of significance in ‘flower code’, in a cute little pot so you can put it wherever you like! As well as a small keychain plush of your favourite animal - they’re so so shy and awkward about it, and immediately make the cutest little squeaky noise if you happen to compliment them or give them something in return!

[noctis-tempore]

psppsps u should tell me all about caligo<3

OMGOMGOMG OKOK SO LIKE SINCE VATICINIUM HAS CHANGED THIS IS A GREAT TIME FOR ME TO GET OUT SOME IDEAS I HAVE IN STORE FOR HER ESP SINCE QUITE A LOT HAS CHANGED FOR HER SPECIFICALLY !!!! THANK YOU YOONIE 🫶💞 

Caligo is planned to be one of the 13 directors for ZERO, her title being the Herald of Blood due to her vampirism. The directors are basically are the strongest/effective in the organization in their respective fields. I haven’t quite decided what her field is yet but whatever it’ll be, she’s going to be very good at doing it ! I was thinking about making her like really good at gathering information but I’m not set on it yet. She’s unknowingly half siblings with Lux who is a part of COLUMNAE LUCIS and is the Omen of Blades. Omens and Heralds are on the same level of strength/effectiveness. But the thing is with Lux is that he’s a double agent for COLUMNAE LUCIS, so he’s under Caligo’s orders when he’s with ZERO.

Caligo is definitely older than her first version of herself, she’s been around for like a good century so she’s still would be considered quite young among other vampires. Caligo has a very strained relationship with her parents and I would get more into it but I feel like that should be a separate post with its own trigger warnings cause it is very triggering 😭 And if you’re wondering if she’s still an idol, the answer would be yes! 

She’s quite popular as an idol and this still makes her an incredibly busy woman. She reserves her work for ZERO during the day because all of her concerts and idol business matters are at night. It was really hard for her to adjust handling both jobs at first especially since she’s never made it known that she works for ZERO, let alone be a herald. But she has promoted ZERO to her followers. To the public, the Herald of Blood has never made an appearance and is rarely ever talked about so there’s not really any speculation that she could be the Herald of Blood. 

Caligo absolutely adores dogs, she doesn’t have anything against cats, she just really loves dogs. She has like 4 dogs in total, two of them are big dogs and two of them are smaller but they all get along great! They are absolute sweethearts but they will also try to rip you to shreds if they sense that you’re dangerous </3 

Caligo whenever she can get a break loves to spend that time talking to the people she cares about and treating them out! She feels like she doesn’t really get that much time to talk to them and hang out with them outside of work so she really wants to make up for it. 

Caligo during her idol work is very upbeat and bold but sweet, she’s quick-witted and her fans love her for her sarcastic comments but kind persona she displays. 

Caligo during her work for ZERO is a lot more serious and she does not tolerate any bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like she’s an asshole because she does show kindness and respect to all of her workers. It’s just when people try to take advantage of that, she refuses to allow that or even entertain the idea.

Caligo around her friends is a lot more laidback and caring. She doesn’t force an overly sweet face or get serious, she’s just your outgoing friend who looks after you. Of course she likes to tease and poke fun at her friends and have banters with them but it’s all lighthearted. She also loves physical affection with her close friends, it’s a huge sign of trust for her. 

[causenessus]

my lovliness hello hello!! good morning afternoon or evening!! i hope you’ve eaten so make sure you eat and drink water!! AND LMK HOW THOSE TACO JARS WENT IF YOUVE TRIED IT YET <33333333333333333333for some reason i’m deciding to STAY ANONYMOUS!! (ness knows my account now)(to whoever is reading this we texted for like a good hour and it was the best hour of my life)(and for the record we yap A LOT BUT I LOVE IT) OR IF YOU DONT WANT ME TO THATS OK! i just feel like being called mango ANON and not being ANON is trippy but you can call me by my name if you’d like or mango anon is okay too!! either is okay whatever you want ness ill do for you whatever you need ILL BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR YOU!! and today i had my moms pho which is really good then i went on a walk with my friend(half walk half bus) and got some ice cream !! cinnamon because i thought of you and your cinnamon almond butter <33333

your job honestly sounds so fun like YOU GET TO ACTUALLY BUILD THE FRAMES?? like it’s so mundane for me because i’m here folding clothes constantly like the only thing i do is FOLD CLOTHES AND PICK UP CLOTHES OFF THE GROUND(also i’m not saying your job sounds easy but i would love the change of pace because im so so sick of clothing retail!!!)(i wanna build frames with ness!!!) i’m sorry work wasn’t that good but i’m glad it went by fast! personally i like opening more then closing because closing is when disaster strikes! when i open i can at least leave before it gets super super busy but when i close i swear surviving the shift is an optional choice at that point! ALSO THE OLD MAN SAYING LOCKED IN?? you know his grandchildren got him on that slang but that’s so funny LOL i hope he was chill and i’m glad he was nice to you and he understood! i totally get being so locked in you get literal tunnel vision and your only focus is doing whatever task you have because when im like organizing the clothes by like their type???(short sleeve, long sleeve, sweater???) i get LOCKED IN LIKE MY FOCUS IS ON POINT! like i just need these clothes on hangers asap at that point!

ALSO PLS DROPPING YOUR CONTAINER IN A SILENT LIBRARY?? if i was there with you i would’ve intentionally coughed really loudly as a distraction(we can take the L moments together)

AND LITERALLY LIKE??? you’re telling me this women silently cleared out her office somehow without anyone seeing like?? she probably was giggling on the way to her car and sat in the drivers seat, whipped out her phone and typed a goodbye message and drove away with a smile like I KNOW DAMN WELL THATS WHAT SHE DID BECAUSE SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE US A NOTICE?? like the last store manager we had gave us a months notice right BUT NO THIS ONE JUST LEFT?? like she did not care whatsoever and that’s so funny, i kinda miss her but she was also not my favourite!! but she was tolerable and i hope the next store manager isn’t mean or strict(but i might leave before she gets replaced so i don’t know!)

OMG i haven’t read binary stars yet because i’ve been so busy with work but ik I’ll like it so don’t worry! plus it’s your first ever smau so don’t even worry i’m sure it’s not as bad as you think <33333333333 and i swear i think the oikawa smau curse is real because i remember eggy talking about syrup and oikawa and ITS SO FUNNY like i can definitely see why it’s kind of hard to write him??? because to me he seems more like bestie unserious character LOL but cold kisses was so so so good i can’t stop talking about i will never stop talking about it LOVE NOTES TOO AND AHHH NEW GROUNDS NEW GROUNDS WAS SO AHHH (i just love all your writing) and also im sure the person meant it in a lighthearted way so don’t worry!! AND OMG REGINA GEORGE KIN MAN LIVES THROUGH THAT SMAU?? ALSO IM SORRY FOR BRINGING UP BINARY STARS I DIDNT KNOW YOU FELT THAT WAY </3 but i think it’s good keeping it up so that you and others can see how much your writing has improved! it was definitely a good learning experience and there’s no need to be ashamed of it, think of the pancake theory! the first one is always ugly(NOT CALLING YOUR SMAU UGLY BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN RIGHT)but once you get the gang of it, they all become perfect little pancakes <33333333333333333 AND PLEASE LITERALLY ILL SEND YOU MY MANAGERS EMAIL AND WE’LL SPAM HIM WITH LOVE NOTES MASTERLIST URL!! every man should be like suna in my opinion like i think the world would real if men were like suna rintarou

AND YOUR COWORKERS WAGE GOING DOWN??? that’s actually so crazy oh my god and so sketchy like THE CORAL THING I CANT GET OVER TOO LIKE THATS CRAZY??? also i 100% get complaining about your workplace because the little like young adult(no longer teens </3) group has a side gc where we literally talk about our managers SO much and oh my god so(dropping work drama lore) there’s this one coworker i have and im gonna call her jen for this story(so it doesn’t get confusing) and this other coworker and ill call her amira right okay so jen is in college right now for something i don’t know and she was sending some questions to the work group chat for help (okay this gonna be confusing but there’s two group chats! there’s one with the managers and one without the managers, the one without the managers is used for fun basically) and anyways she was asking for help right and i was helping her along with like 3 other of our coworkers right? but for some reason amira got soooooo mad about this she started deleting my messages and my coworkers messages (the ones that was helping jen) and we were like wtf is going on??? and then jen is like “@amira why are you deleting these messages” then amira goes off about how like this gc was for work related stuff and yap yap yap(WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE??? ITS THE ONE WITHOUT MANAGERS RIGHT AND THEY’VE TALKED ABOUT RANDOM THINGS BEFORE) anyways it was crazy and jen and her started like going back and forth and it was so messy because amira kept deleting her messages(btw she’s the admin of the gc because seniority or something idk but OMG she’s admin along with this other girl right) so the other admin told amira to chill and yk what amira did?? SHE REMOVED THE OTHER ADMIN FROM THE GC AND IT WAS SO CRAZY!!! and the young adult gc(sorry there’s so many gcs i hope this isn’t confusing) we were ALL FREAKING OUT LIKE WHATS HAPPENING?? and they were GOING AT IT!! and i guess the managers got involved because the next day there was a text sent in the manager gc and the managers were just like “make sure to respect each other yap yap yap” and omg it was actually so so so crazy SUCH A TIME!!

IF WE DID TECH TOGETHER NESS ID FEAR WE’D BE TO POWERFUL!! like we would not need anyone else JUST US!! WE WOULD WIN AWARDS AND DEFINITELY NOT AS MUCH TRAUMA BECAUSE WE WOULDNT GET YELLED AT!! (i remember getting yelled at sooooo many times in my tech days)(good old days!!!) ALSO EYELINER TATTOOS ARE SO SO SO SCARY SO SCARY because it’s so close to your eye and the skin there is more thin and sensitive(?) i think??? but the fact that she has to live with it like it won’t come off IS SO SCARY!! I TOTALLY GET IT TOO LIKE ID BE SCARED </3 i have the same feeling about people with tattooed eyebrows (FOR THE RECORD!! i don’t think tattooed eyebrows are ugly and i think that beauty definitely comes from within and your physical appearance doesn’t matter!! everyone is beautiful but this is just my opinion)(i’m NOT saying it’s ugly im just saying that it definitely catches me off guard sometimes) AND LIKE YOU HAVE TO GET THEM RETOUCHED TOO AND AHHH the idea of having a needle that close to my eye makes me scared like even putting on my contacts scare me sometimes LOL also yes i’m familiar with sections and i do remember you briefly talking about rotations! (BUT DW ABOUT REPEATING STUFF BECAUSE I DEFINITELY DO TOO) IM NOT TOO SURE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS THOUGH? and what’s with managers being so MEAN AND WEIRD?? like they expect us to be able to complete and do 20 different things at a time??? we are no octopus!! AND HER SAYING the “have another server for once” IS WHAT?? i officially hate her too now like whoever ness hates i hate because that’s CRAZY behaviour like insane INSANITY!!

ALSO I STILL CANT GET OVER YOU SAVING YOUR DAY FOR ME LIKE FOR ME???? IM SO HHHHHH IM GONNA BECOME SAPPY AGAIN that’s literally the sweetest thing ever ever ever like ness you’re the love of MY LIFE like my life is yours whatever you want is yours WHATEVER YOU NEED JUST SAY THE WORD AND ILL GIVE IT TO YOU!!!

ALSO YOUR SISTERS BF IS SO FUNNY WITH THE BASKET THING HAHAH BUT LITERALLY i hate the concept of having to pay for a bag BUT LIKE IM JUST A WORKER??? LIKE I DONT WANNA LOSE MY JOB OVER A 50 CENT BAG YOU KNOW??? like please take it up to headquarters or something like DONT BE YELLING ABOUT ME OVER A DAMN BAG OF ALL THINGS!! and the area i work there’s like a whole plaza of stores right and EVERY SINGLE STORE HAS BAGS YOU NEED TO PAY FOR!! EVERY SINGLE ONE!! i literally had a customer be like “wow the other stores i go to don’t make me pay for a bag” LIKE OK?? THEN GO THERE! LIKE IDK WHY THEYRE ACTING LIKE I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT IF THEY COMPLAIN ENOUGH

YES PLS SHIP ME THE ALMOND BUTTER WITH YOU <33333333333333 it’ll be like those videos “shipping myself in a box across the world!! not clickbait” BUT REAL! (i fear that i might’ve believed those sometimes…)(ONLY SOMETIMES) you can ship yourself here as an early birthday gift for me it would be the best gift ever ever ever!!

YES FAIRY TAIL WAS SUCH AN ERA!! such a long anime like idk how i did it tbh like i haven’t even caught up on one piece and i fear i never will… but haikyuu? i will watch haikyuu MULTIPLE TIMES!! AND DW YOU WERENT DRAMATIC BUT I DID GENUINELY FEEL BAD THAT YOU FELT BAD </33333 your reasoning was 100% valid and I APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY !! you’re such a pure genuine sweet person ever like ever ever i love you so be try much and PLS DM ME WHENEVER !!! i love hearing from you EVEN IF ITS RANDOM SILLY THINGS!! IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE BURNER i wanted to make it all nice and pretty for you <33333333333 ALSO i was looking for profile pictures right and originally it was gonna be one of osamu AND I SAW YOUR PFP!! THE SUNA WITH THE OSAMU ONE!! i was gonna make it my pfp but then i was like omg what if she thinks i’m weird and obsessed with her (i am obsessed with you)(you are the love of my life) BUT I LITERALLY SAW IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! NESS!! NESS’ SUNA!!! AND OMG NESS AND MANGO ANON MEETUP?? ROOMMATE SMAU MOMENT??? (i need to stop pressing the caps button like CALM DOWN CALM DOWNNNN)

also side note IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE?? i keep falling asleep like i finished work at 3 right and then i was like i’m gonna take an hour nap…. I WAKE UP AND ITS 7:30??? MANGO ANON THAT IS NOT 1 HOUR???? to be fair i only slept like 2 hours last night it was terrible IDK WHY I COULDNT SLEEP </3 but im hopefully gonna sleep early tonight because school is coming up and i need as much sleep as i can get!

YES NESS i protected you from day 1 like literal guardian angel i will always be your guardian angel THATS SO CRAZY HOW I REMEMBERED THAT THOUGH BECAUSE I WAS LAYING AWAKE RIGHT and i was like HOLD ON!! i had a whole flashback moment then i was like… omg… that was ness like that was ness’ blog??? it had to have been??? AND IT WAS!! i’ll always protect you from any hate(but i don’t get how you can get hate like you’re the sweetest person ever)(whoever sends hate is genuinely like crazy because you’re so so so sweet like so sweet)

RANDOM INTERMISSION TO DRINK WATER! i just drank my whole water because i guess i woke up super super thirsty LOL like im that one tiktok audio that’s like GULP GULP GULP thank you!! you saved me (sorry that’s like a terrible terrible replay of that audio) and omg the heavy body axe deodorant smell like i remember walking down the halls in high school and getting a huge WHIFF OF THAT (terrible terrible times)

ALSO MY NIGHTMARE ABOUT THE MOTHERBOARD LIKE i swear that was the scariest dream i’ve had but only because of the fact that MY DIRECTOR DIDNT YELL AT ME(in my dream… i guess i was subconsciously scared of him so i made a dream where he was nice LMAO) but i was WAITING for him to yell at me like call me a dj with the way i was free balling it (top 3 scariest nightmare i tell you) AND AWWWW i know your ask was yesterday so you saw your children today and id love to hear about it!!(no pressure to answer today because THIS IS SO LATE IM SO SORRY) and tech nightmares need to be like analyzed in a lab or something because im sure if i like sit down and think about it i can think about like the other tech nightmares i’ve had LOL

NEXT TIME YOU GO BACK TO YOUR STAGE MANAGER DUTIES ILL BE THERE IN SPIRIT!! doing my job and STEPPING UP to coparent AND be your sounds person like it’ll be the time of our lives like we’ll literally make the groundbreaking cast ever better

NESS LOL REGRETTING YOUR CRUSHES(or like people you were attracted to) IS SO REAL BECAUSE ME TOO! like i look back on the people i used to like and im like erm….. mango anon what were you thinking…but omg i haven’t read this yet so this is my raw reaction written out NO CUTS NO EDITS!! but AWWWWW the fact that he checked up on you?? that’s actually sweet(mango anon please don’t bite your words) also that’s so cute he stuck by you STOP IT me reading this like it’s a smau rn (IM JOKING LMAOOO)(or am i..) also side note i hope you’re in a better place now and i totally get it because in year 8 and in year 11 i had like terrible terrible burnout where i was skipping school and it was terrible terrible LOL BUT BACK TO YOUR STORY! AND YOU CAN 100% TELL ME IN DMS (only if you want to)(IF ITS BAD MEMORIES PLEASE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT!!)(i don’t wanna bring up something bad like but ill always listen if you do wanna talk about it like there’s never tmi with me !!) and OH MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I READ THE DRUGS PART I i did not expect that like the “i stopped doing drugs for you!” okay wattpad skater boy like and HIM GHOSTING YOU AND GOING BACK INTO DRUGS LIKE???? weirdo weirdo alert okay skater boy im coming for you like THAT SWITCH UP IS CRAZY? going from being all cutesy and loving to him just dipping like okay?? good on you for dipping too because HE DOESNT DESERVE U!! you’re so good for him anyways YOU ALWAYS WERE wherever you are skater boy… i hope ur sneezing rn because im cursing you right now and UGH HIM BACK IN UR TECH CLASS? like i would’ve very cutely thrown the whole sound motherboard at him!! also i hope your adoptive seniors protected you because i would’ve!! AND I WISH I DID DO TECH WITH YOU LIKE GENUINELY </3333 because we are literally peas in a pod like we’d be so powerful and on the same wavelength like we’d be able to communicate through our eyes without saying anything THATS how powerful we’d be AND HIM TALKING TO YOU LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED?? ness give me his name that’s all i ask for …. AND NOT HIM TEXTING YOU?? also you ignoring the red flags is so real like ill turn a blind eye to that because ness can never do anything wrong… wdym ness texted back? no she didn’t? she’s just being a girl!! (ness can do NO wrong) and you feeling bad is so real like i used to be SUCH a people pleaser(i think i still am but not that much) and id literally bend over backwards for some rando it was so bad LOL like i was that kid that would give you homework without even saying anything like “can i see your homework?” “okay sure” like KWIDJWJDJ don’t be like me never never

NESS OH MY GOD I BURSTED OUT LAUGHING LIKE “me: oh.”

NESS PLEASE??? AND I CAN LITERALLY JUST IMAGINE YOU STARING AT YOUR PHONE AS HE KEPT YAPPING AND YAPPING OH MY GOD??? and it totally sounds like bs or like some sort of wattpad plot like “i’m too dangerous for you….. i like you so i’m gonna distant myself and get over my feeling but then come right back to you” and the random gifts?? like i get to him that it may be sweet but like IDK I GET HOW WEIRD IT IS LIKE IT SEEMS WEIRD YEAH AND LIKE it definitely sounded like toxicity mixed with communication and commitment issues so GOOD FOR YOU FOR NOT GOING THROUGH WITH IT!! it probably saved you a lot down the road and YES SUNA IS NOT LIKE THAT AND NEVER WILL BE!! suna would treat you the way he treats lovenotes yn(which is technically you)(i know yn is your name but idk why i always read yn and YN like i’ve never been like “mango anon” instead of yn you know?) you will find your irl sunarin(ME) and he will treat you sweet and lovingly(ME TO YOU!!)and make you cute art and send it to you(ME ME ME!!!)

OMG PURPLE HEART MAN TIME!! OH MY GOD THE CONCUSSION WHAT??? i literally was like omg i wonder if this is cute— CONCUSSION?? no that’s crazy like i need that hex on my manager real quick(IM JOKING!… JOKING…..) and OH MY GOD?? him tripping and hitting his head oh my oh my like THATS CRAZY?? AND THE TOXIC LEAK?? theatre is genuinely the most wild thing ever oh my god the way i gasped is CRAZY like the way it was so bad to the point of someone going BLIND?? WHAT!! and him twisting his ankle oh my god ness something had to have been in the air like that actor was hexed for sure like this is some looney tunes injuries right here i feel so bad (wherever he is i hope he’s getting the best luck ever because WHAT) AND HE WENT TO THE ER??? the way you keep adding things and i’m like WHAT???? WHAT??????? AND THE DIE??? oh my god who hexed that poor man like who was jealous he got the lead THATS SO CRAZY LIKE IM SO SHOCKED?? and the purple heart lore is crazy he deserves it after everything he went through like deepest condolences man i hope he’s okay wherever he is like thank you for your service king

AND DONT SAY SORRY ABOUT A LONG YAP !! EVER !!! AND OMG RIGHT SO SUNDAY RIGHT? i had a 2:45-7:30 and sunday was team building day! basically it’s where the company allows the managers to take out the team to go eat or some event idk but we went bowling and it was so fun! so like the “teen group” that i told you about (though we’re all young adults now so it’s sad like WE ALL GROW UP IN MARSHALLS) and we had our own team and it was the first time i ever went bowling so it was such a fun experience! (i did not win a SINGLE game) like it was all fun no seriousness or competitiveness which felt nice like i literally took a 15 pound ball and placed it on the ground and just pushed it LOL like it was so fun! and the work paid for it all and gave us like pizza and stuff SO IT WAS NICE! like it was basically a free hangout and oh my god TODAY at work i got so emotional because one of my coworkers are leaving right and she’s been like a big sister to me and everything :( i remember her training me from like my first time there and i genuinely have so much love for her but she’s moving and leaving our work so we talked and i CRIED LIKE I CRIED AT WORK and she kept hugging me and comforting me and she was like “throughout my time here you were the sweetest person ever like i’m gonna miss you, this workplace is my second home and i know it won’t be the same ever it’s so bittersweet” and like so much so i couldn’t hold back like i just started crying so hard BECAUSE IM EMOTIONAL and like it’s literally my sign to leave too because 2 of the people in my little teen group are also leaving and i know 3 more are planning to leave before the year ends so it’s definitely my time to leave too which ITS SO BITTERSWEET BUT I HAVE TO START THINKING ABOUT ME TOO </3

BUT ofc I’ll update you! IM SORRY THIS WAS LATE AND I HOPE IT WASNT TOO LONG!! also the guy that was yapping while i was working(the one i told you about through dms) he was literally talking about the us politics and im like sir we are not in the us and like in the most respectful way possible IDK WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT?? IDK THESE WORDS!! but anyways he was nice overall just A YAPPER anyways I HOPE YOUVE EATEN AND TAKEN CARE OF YOURSELF <33333333 drink tons of water and treat yourself well !! i will send you my bank account information so treat yourself to a sweet treat because you deserve it! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH SO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !! THE MANGO ANON ERA WILL NOT BE OVER SAV SO DONT WORRY! the burner account is just for cute little “i miss you” and “i love you”s and for little stuff like that! or when i’m like super busy and don’t wanna flood her inbox so ill send a little “i’m sorry i’m working but im alive and thinking about you!!” BUT UNTIL NEXT TIME !! I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU NESS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MWUAH MWUAH MWUAH !! xoxoxoxoxo

MANGO ANONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH THIS IS WHAT NOT TALKING TO YOU IN INBOX DOES TO ME FOR ONE DAY 😔😔😔😔😔😔 I LOVE DMING YOU BUT I THINK I JUST LOVE THESE ASKS SM! (but ofc as long as i get to talk to you i'm good <3) I HAVE EATEN ALL MY TACO JARS BY THE TIME I AM ANSWERING THIS 😭😭😭 BUT THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD!! i added rice to the last one today and it made it like 10000x better so i will def be making these again 😌 THANK YOU FOR INSPIRING AND MOTIVATING ME TO COOK!!! I HOPE YOU ATE AND ARE DRINKING PLENTY OF WATER <3 AND MAYBE HAVE HAD A SILLY TREAT TODAY!! (sending you all the mango sticky rice in the world rn!!!!) MANGO ANON I WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT FORM YOU TAKE (that sound so weird 😭 I JUST MEAN LIKE!! DMS!! ASKS!! ANON!! OFF ANON!!! I DO NOT MIND ANY OF THEM AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU!! <3333 if you don't want ur account shared you're totally good staying anon!! whatever you want to do my love <3) I'M SO GLAD YOUR MOM'S PHO WAS GOOD AND AAA THE CINNAMON ICE CREAM SOUNDS SO GOOD <3

i love cinnamon!!! i used to use SO SO MUCH like everyday and i'm def over that phase now but i still LOVE cinnamon <333 AND THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME ABOUT PHO AGAIN!! it's still lowkey so hot here but i think it's slowly starting to cool down!! and once it does, I'M GOING TO GO GET PHO!! or maybe hot pot <3 omg i hate the states but actually where i live there's a super good hot pot mango anon!! i want to take you there and pay for your food and just give you everything in the world here's a kiss mwah <3

AND AAA YES LIKE IT'S STRESSFUL?? i always get scared bc i'm like...handling people's art and everything yk...and don't want to mess it up BUT IT DEFINITELY IS FUN!! i tried to work at a clothing retail place before i applied for this job!!! but they didn't want me 😔 AND YEAH IDK OPENING AND CLOSING BOTH HAVE THEIR PROS i think i'm very used to being a closer bc it's what i was all throughout high school since they were the only shifts i worked!! and i opened a lot over the summer at this framer job and i definitely liked how i got to like be productive and work but then got to go out and also enjoy my day!! but for me like all the customers come in and order stuff in the day so i actually definitely prefer closing at this framing job bc no one's gonna come in at 6pm asking to get the stick they found on the ground framed yk <3 (i love it besides when i have to sweep the entire floor!! that makes me want to 🙂🔫) AND YES I THINK THE OLD MAN WAS CHILL!! tbh i don't remember what he needed anymore LMAO I TRIED SO HARD TO REMEMBER JUST NOW BUT IT'S NOT COMING TO ME </3

AND AA YES I TOTALLY GET THE TUNNEL VISION and ig maybe it's a good thing i don't work at a clothing place!! bc tbh i am NOT a good folder and everytime i try to hang clothes on hangers they just fall off!!! so honestly it's super admirable that you're able to do all that bc i can't 😭😭 also i think i'd be offput by touching clothes sometimes or like certain fabrics bc i'm a very big sensory person and a little germaphobic (SAKUSA KIYOOMI WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!) </3 I HOPE THAT'S OKAY TO SAY!! IT JUST MAKES ME APPRECIAT THE WORKERS WHO DO THAT ALL THE MORE BC I COULD NEVER YOU'RE SO SO COOL!!

thank you for taking l moments with me mango anon </33 you are truly my guardian angel!!! i love u here's another kiss mwah <3

AAA I HOPE YOUR NEXT STORE MANAGER IS BETTER TOO!! OR THAT YOU'RE ABLE TO LEAVE (and find a better job??) if you decide to do that as well!! and FRFR 😭😭 what was going through your ex store manager's head?? like "oh let me just not tell anyone i'm quitting!! bye 🤠"

AHHHH THE PANCAKE THEORY YOU ARE SO SO RIGHT AND SWEET <3 I GET WHAT YOU MEAN AND DON'T WORRY AT ALL!! OFC IT'S OKAY TO BRING UP BINARY STARS <3 just know i'm not proud of it yk 😭😭😭 but aa yes i think it just has to do with how much of a character he is if that makes sense!! like even furudate's been like "i HATE drawing oikawa bc he's just so pretty so he takes so much time to draw!!" so in the same way yk like that's why he's a side character bc furudate would've died if he had to draw oikawa more </3 like oikawa's sort of just built to be a side character in a way?? (AT LEAST FOR SMUAS IDK) which is OKAY!! like i am with him!! but he just has so much personality i guess??? that he does well/better as a side character than the main character (i care SO much about oikawa i think mitch is the only one i've explained this to but i kin him a lot and he deserves so so much love like he does not ever deserve to be second place to everyone and yap yap yap you can see how much he means to me so like it pains me to even talk about him this way because he deserves all the love in the world but it's also just who he is and that's okay!! i am with him and i love him all the more for being a side character <3 as you can tell oikawa is a very special character to me <3) AND YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! every irl man should be like suna rintarou 😔 the world would be a better place if men could be like him!!!

THE CRAZY WORK LORE STORY??? WHAT WAS AMIRA ON 😭 and why was she deleting YOUR messages of all people?? like u were helping jen right??? and even then like especially if this is the silly gc or whatever!! no matter what!! she did not explain her actions at all so that's crazy!! and then they kept fighting THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED WHEN YOU TALKED ABOUT THE OTHER ADMIN LIKE GETTING KICKED OUT and your managers sending the text about being respectful the day after 😭😭😭 they were NOT slick with that like...u all knew why they texted that LMAO

MANGO ANON....my tech director asked me to come to the school today bc they were meeting with the other director today...and omg i just can't believe this is all starting soon....i'm so stressed I NEED U HERE MANGO ANON 😭😭😭 YOU WILL BE MY SHOULDER TO CRY ON (WHICH IS GOING TO BE LIKE EVERYDAY) /HJ i'm just so so scared AND TELL ME WHY I WALKED IN AND THIS KID (ummm don't know if i've messaged him before he's like a weird one and he's got a big superiority complex and thinks he knows everything and is weirdly attached to me, took a video where he zoomed in on my senior picture...etc...) HAD LITERALLY PUT HIMSELF IN A FLY SYSTEM HE MADE. LIKE WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE FLY SYSTEMS. BUT BRO WAS IN A HARNESS LITERALLY LOWERING HIMSELF DOWN FROM THE CATWALKS. AND SOME BOY AT THE BOTTOM WAS HIS COUNTERWEIGHT. THAT IS NOT???????"???? oh my god i don't want to talk about it I AM SO TIRED 😭 yes i missed theatre but!!!! omg i did not miss the stress now that it's fr all starting up now!! but i will think about you being here in spirit with me and that will give me the strength to keep going 😌

AND YES IK LIKE THE SCARY NEEDLE SO CLOSE TO YOUR EYES??? I COULD NEVER!! my mom has tattooed eyebrows and fake eyelashes so 😃😃😃 idk i think it might be like an asian mom thing bc (i'm mixed) my mom's always like "ugh!! you should be so glad u got ur father's long luxurious beautiful eyelashes bc i have NONE" and yap yap yap and idk it's super weird!! she just got the fake eyelashes in april and i'm still not used to them and i lowkey don't like them.....................

(i don't want to talk about it)

SORRY I HOPE THIS ASK DOESN'T SOUND SUPER???? DOWN OR ANYTHING IDK i think i'm just tired and i feel like i have a lot going on rn (NOT TO START VENTING OR ANYTHING BUT JUST TO PROVIDE LIKE CONTEXT) so i'm so sorry if anything in this ask sounds off or out of place </33 things are just spilling out of my brain aaa i'm sorry!!!

AND THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING MY HATE FOR MY RESTAURAUNT MANAGER BC SHE IS SO MEAN 😔😔😔 ONCE AGAIN SHE MADE ME RUN OUT OF THE PLACE AND CRY ON THE SIDE OF A RESTAURAUNT ACROSS THE ROAD ONCE </33 and you are so right!!!! we are no octopuses or machines 😔😔 we are just girls!! trying to live our silly little lives and make a little money to fund our silly little activities <33 🌸

AND AA YES I DO SAVE ALL OF MY DAYS FOR YOU!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON <3 I LOVE TALKING TO YOU I FEEL SO HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE TALKING TO YOU SO I LOVE TO HEAR YOUR REACTIONS AND ABOUT YOUR OWN DAYS! (to completely contrast my little apology for feeling like some of my paragraphs/sentences here sound a little down, talking to you genuinely makes me feel so much happier and better so thank you so much for the literal effect you have on me <3 i love you mango anon!!!)

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THE BAG THING!! like all the stores here do it and idk i guess i just an genuinely not wrap my head around these karen-esque people??? like please?? it's a law being enforced by governments??? what am i, a silly little employee, supposed to do about the 50 cents ur paying for a bag!!! and so what if another store isn't making you pay for the bag!! like u said, THEN GO THERE INSTEAD!!

MANGO ANON. NO PRESSURE BUT UM MAYBE YOU SHOULD UM 👉👈👉👈 TOTALLY MATCH PFPS WITH ME!! PLEASE BE THE OSAMU TO MY SUNA!! I WOULD CRY HAPPY TEARS!!! MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU COULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO MAKE ME WEIRD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!!!! PLEASE DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND I WILL DEFINITELY DM YOU ALL THE TIME IF THAT'S OKAY <33 I THINK YOU'RE THE SWEETEST!! AND LIKE IF I WASN'T PLANNING TO ANSWER THIS ASK TODAY I DEFINITELY WOULD'VE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE KID WITH THE FLY SYSTEM TODAY IN DMS 😭😭😭

AND AA DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THIS BEING LATE AT ALL!! I'M SORRY YOUR SLEEP WAS SO BAD :(( 2 HOURS IS NOT ENOUGH!! I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING BETTER SINCE THEN THESE PAST FEW DAYS </33

GULP GULP GULP YOU SAVED ME 😭😭😭 THE WAY I'M CRYING LOWKEY I LOVE TIKTOK AUDIOS SO MUCH FOR HOW BRAINROTTED THEY ARE 😭😭😭😭 BUT AA YES INTERMISSION FOR YOU TOO AS YOU'RE READING THIS!! MAKE SURE TO DRINK MORE WATER NOW!!! <3 (you're the sweetest ever <3)(here's your third kiss of the ask!)(mwah <3)

CALL YOU A DJ WITH THE WAY YOU WERE FREEBALLING IT LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THAT IS SO SO FUNNY MANGO ANON i love how we all collective had such traumatizing directors though!!! (😃) i remember i had a lights kid who our director had made cry once because he was so rude when like- okay let me just give u the full run down

the senior who taught me lights graduated so i'm left in charge, right? so it's the first play of the year after she's graduated, i don't have a great hold on lights yet because i've only ever done ONE show with lights so far, but i'm in charge. it's light focusing day (i literally had to call a friend to stay after school with me and hang all our lights because we hadn't had enough time to do it during like a tech class before this focusing day). WELL we're doing it all in the dark, all the lights are crazy old and IMPOSSIBLE to turn left and right, PLUS half our lights were light on the batons (hoping u know what this is bc i do not have it in my to explain rn i'm so sorry) BUT ANYWAY SO LIKE WE'RE ALL STRETCHED ACROSS A BAR IN THE DARK FIGHTING FOR OUR LIFE TRYING TO FOCUS THESE LIGHTS and this last kid could NOT get his light to move left-right and the director's yelling at him and is upset that he can't do it and i'm like "mr. director do u want me to try" bc no one else can do it and i'm in charge or whatever and he's like "ugh ig 🙄" and eventually i get it focused and everything and then we take a break for lunch and that kid started crying bc he was under so much pressure and stress and was trying his best!! and like it wasn't his fault fr </3 BUT ANYWAY WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS IS LIKE THAT MEMORY WAS SO TRAUMATIZING THAT KID HAD NIGHTMARES OF NOT BEING ABLE TO GET LIGHTS MOVING AGAIN BUT THEN HE'D JUST DROP THE INSTRUMENT ON OUR DIRECTOR 😭😭 (and this isn't a first time occurrence. i knew another friend who also like had a whole dream where he had prepared how he was gonna talk back to our tech director for all the things he had said to him 😭 we love toxic environments!!!! xxx)

AND I CAN TOTALLY TELL YOU ABOUT LIKE WHAT MADE ME LEAVE SCHOOL AND EVERYTHING!!! we will save that for the dms if u want 😌 bc it is a little deep BUT IT'S SO FUNNY TO EXPLAIN LMAOO SORRY i def cope with humor BUT I LOVED READING YOUR LIVE REACTIONS 😭😭 and thank you for your kind words <33 i hope you're also doing better now!! and i'm always here to listen to you whenever and wherever!!! i wish u could've thrown a soundboard at him!!! he totally would deserve it </3 I WISH WE HAD DONE TECH TOGETHER TOO!!!

I SLAPPED MY HAND OVER MY MOUTH AT THE WATTPAD DIALOGUE OMG 😭😭😭 BUT YOU'RE 100% ACCURATE THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT IT WAS LIKE I'M CRYING 😭😭😭

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON <33 YOU ARE LITERALLY MY IRL SUNARIN!!! WE NEED TO MEETUP NOW!!!! /SRS /SRS /SRS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i totally get it like i NEVER read yn as my own name sometimes i do and then i go "ewwww never again" like i read yn as "yuh na" IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT like i think my brain has shortened "your name" so it's just like an abbreviation????? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT I GET IT LMAO 😭😭😭

LMAO PLEASE MANGO ANON IK I WAS THE ONE WHO TALKED ABOUT THE PURPLE HEART MAN FIRST BUT YOU REPEATING BACK THE ENTIRE STORY TO ME REALLY MADE ME GO "oh man that really is a lot." LIKE YEAH THAT SHOW WAS DEFINITELY HEXED OR SOMETHING 😭😭 i remember breaking a bracelet for that show </33 i was on run and props and i had to bring out like a balcony railing and then it snapped the bracelet </33 and then i just ran off bc like what am i gonna do?? fall to my knees and start picking up the beads?? NO I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT BRACELET IN MY LIFE!! IT WASN'T ME!!

AND AA OH NO :((( I STARTED OUT READING YOUR PARAGRAPH ABOUT THE TEAM BUILDING DAY LIKE :DDD yay bowling!! yay free hangout!! pizza!!! it was all fun!! no competition!!! and then you started talking about your coworker that was leaving and i went :((( like i switched tabs back to where i'm writing all this and my face was literally ☹☹☹☹ BUT your coworker was right!! i know you're literally the sweetest ever!!! and i'm so sad she's leaving but it's so sweet how long you guys have been together and how she trained you and everything!! and ik we already talked a little bit about what you may decide to do for work and once again i will support you no matter what!!

UNTIL NEXT TIME MANGO ANON!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M SO HAPPY I GOT TO REPLY TO YOU TODAY!! I HOPE THAT YOU ARE DOING WELL!! AND EAT GOOD FOOD AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER!! I'M ACTUALLY SENDING YOU MY BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATION SO THAT YOU CAN BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING!!! <33333 I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH MWAH MWAH MWAH XOXOOXOXO <3333!!!!!!!!!!

[xoamandafrances]

S3 Ep:12 Overwhelmed AF? Four Things to Remember as a Money Mama

Hello! Welcome to the And She Rises (The F*ck Up) — the podcast! We are so happy you are here.

In today’s episode, Amanda riffs on four things to remember when you’re feeling overwhelmed AF. 

These four clips were taken from our newest course — Money Mama.

Money Mama is currently open for enrollment and marked at a special price. All the things you need to know:

https://amandafrances.com/money-mama

Here are the riffs from today’s podcast:

1. You are always… you. When I became a mom, fortunately, I managed not to feel a total identity crisis. I never exactly felt like I lost myself. Mostly, I felt like I had myself, and my self care, and my family, and my work, and my baby the whole time and a decent balance of it all. Here is how I’ve thought of things: I have allowed parts of me to take a backseat position — they were still there, but they just aren’t running the show full-time anymore. However, those parts of me are available as I need them. And as I make space for them. I don’t feel like the Money Queen 100% of the time right now, but she has her moments. My strategy is to: Let myself evolve. Let yourself become the new you. And let the parts of you that used to be the main you, show up as needed. Every version of you gets to coexist.


2. Slow down to expand time. When I slow down, so does time. I like to move fast and I like to get a lot done. I have been in the illusion that the faster I move, the more I get done, but I have realized that that isn’t true. When I find space in the moments of whatever I have to do — space to be present and check in with myself and slow down — there is more room. I make more space as I find more space. Everything gets… bigger. In my illusion of “go fast to get everything done,” I was always frantic and overwhelmed. I was less present. Ask yourself: Are you being present with yourself? Or are you checked out? If your time is a resource and you are here to use it well, where are you using it well and where are you using it in ways that do not feel good or work for you?


3. Take the pressure off. Have you ever noticed that when you want something or think it would be really cool or fun or lovely for something to happen, but you don’t need it… it is able to show up? Like your lighthearted desire… makes the way. Which is all great and fine, until it’s time to call in something we… need. (Think Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: We can’t focus on the fun stuff when we’re worried about our basic needs.) Needing it and needing it now can create pressure and… resistance. And the feeling of more space between us and what we want. However, if we can get ourselves into a space of lightheartedness and trust around the thing we need — we can move a lot more energy and make a lot more room for it to come in. But if you can get yourself to think about the thing that you’re needing from a place of, it’s possible, and it’s easy, and it’s coming, and I take the pressure off, and I know I am fine, and I know I will not die, and I know it’ll come through — more desire based and less need based — that is a much easier place to not just manifest and call something in from, but to think creatively from to find your solution.


4. Release the mom guilt. Guilt is not helpful. Guilt is not useful. Guilt is only helpful if it helps us realize that we didn’t like how we showed up in a situation and we would like to choose a new path. Guilt can be helpful to that exact degree, but past that… guilt is not very useful. Ruminating in our guilt turns to shame, and shame is an awful, awful motivator for change. It doesn’t work. Remind yourself: There’s always a new moment. There’s always opportunities to try again. We’re moving forward, always.

Money Mama is only open for enrollment (and marked at the special price!) for a short time — I wouldn’t wait.

If you are feeling the vibe, I can't wait to see you inside.

To you and your glorious, big, bold, beautiful life.

Your rules. Your way.

- Amanda & Team AF

Check out this episode!

[rakumel]

Raku Plays Her Faves, Ys VIII, Chapter 3: ‘Tis the Season on the Isle of Seiren

After the harrowing events that closed Chapter 2, the islanders could use something more lighthearted and fun. How about some holiday cheer? 

(via Hallmark)

So one of the things you can start doing in Chapter 3 is purchasing gifts for the other castaways.

Dina’s been sifting through the things that have washed ashore, and has found some unique items that you can trade for. Giving these to the castaways will raise their approval rating, and you literally can’t go wrong here - a prompt will appear when you talk to the person with the correct gift in hand.

For some of the gifts, it’s pretty obvious who they’re meant for. Others you might have to guess at, or if all else fails, process of elimination. (Or, if you still don’t get a prompt, there may be someone out there you haven’t rescued yet.)

Hostess? (Naah, you don’t get a body like that by eating Donettes. Don’t ask me how I know.)

When giving someone a gift, you get a closeup of them, and have a short conversation where they reveal a little more about themselves. It’s not that much different from any other game with a friendship or love interest mechanic. Still, I like how they use it in this game for character development.

Gifts benefit in other ways, too: Your playable characters get a stat boost, and Adol gets half of whatever boost they get. For example, if Laxia gets a 5 point defense boost, Adol gets a 2 point boost to his. If Sahad gets 100 more hit points, Adol gets 50. You get the idea. Other castaways may have more items available for you to trade for, or if nothing else, better bonuses during raids (if you opt to participate in those). So even if you don’t care about the popularity aspect, there’s still good reasons to invest your time and items for gifts. (Or not, I suppose, if you’re purposely trying to get the neutral or bad endings.)

You can also find some of the gifts in treasure chests while out exploring, like the Big Seed for Little Paro here. (Of course he gets a gift too. He’s a valuable member of the crew just like everyone else!)

Oh yeah, and here’s this other guy we rescued, a young nobleman named Austin. He’s not as bad as the screenshot makes him look. Mostly he’s just inept, not mean spirited. I included this because I thought his reaction was kind of hilarious: “Oh my! You’re so wonderful and thoughtful!” *grabbyhands*

Anyway, Adol’s got the gifts covered. But it wouldn’t be a proper Christmas without a tree to decorate, now would it?

I’m serious.

Sahad has a quest early in Chapter 3 that involves you helping him find a tree. It’s for a custom from his homeland, where people write down their wishes and decorate a Wish Tree with them. He thinks it might help cheer up the castaways here. Luckily the game is nice enough to indicate right where a good tree is.

They bring the tree back to Castaway Village, and Sahad gathers everyone together to explain what they’re doing. He passes out shells for everyone to write a wish on. And for those of you wondering, “Won’t everyone just write ‘Get off this damn island’ or something?” Well, the littlest rescue, Quina, has you covered.

She says something to the effect of, “Yeah okay, I want to get off the island too, but what about after that? There’s a lot of stuff I want to do once I get back home.” To which everyone says, “....huh. Okay, fair enough.”

Once the event is over, you can look at the tree anytime to read everyone’s wishes, and see what kind of shell they picked. People you rescue after the event add their wishes too!

I like this quest because not only does it have more of those little character tidbits I love so much, but also because it embodies a lot of the traits I like about Sahad. He’s a big-hearted guy, and wants to spread that care and goodwill to everyone else in his own way. Kind of like Santa, if we’re sticking with the Christmas theme. (We don’t have to. I basically just used that to tie his quest and the gift-giving together.) Sahad may be a big strong middle-aged guy covered in tattoos, but there’s not a mean or even judgemental bone in his body, and I am here for it.

He’ll be turning on the dad energy again later on in this chapter, when Adol and crew find a human ray of sunshine further up the mountain. But that’ll be for another post.

(Ditto, I lose track of time when writing these!)

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in June 🥂 2023 - Scorpio

Whole of their energy towards Scorpio: Death

Feelings: The Tower rev

Intentions: Ace of Cups rev

Actions: 9 Wands

It’s not what you want to hear 😕 They’re definitely done, and there are 4 Sagittarius cards here, I felt that energy deeply, before even shuffling. This isn’t the most sensitive & emotionally feely kind of person, which ultimately is at least slightly more on your level, being water. Sag is a typically lighthearted, philosophical, wayyy laid back, not super serious, fun & casual kind of an energy. Scorpio is typically a brooding, very serious, darker sort of funny, instigative of reactions, motive digging, reading the subtext in a room kind of energy. Sag is like what is subtext, I said what I said. Rude or not, don’t care. So while signs next to each other DO often get along well, there are also major differences. Sag energy seems to best describe them. If they’re not, it’s just showing how they act.

I’m definitely seeing this person get involved initially, keeping it casual and leaving it in 2 Swords energy like “we’ll see”. Some kind of conflict occurred where they saw 5 Swords from you, which can be scathing communication, insults, mind games, instigative behavior or trying to prove a point, that kinda thing. They saw this from you and immediately turned the other way, abandoning the connection altogether, possibly ghosting as well, because Death is clarified by 7 Swords, avoiding you 💯 They feel they dodged a bullet they saw coming.

They intend on this being a missed opportunity or unrequited, your side does show more interest than theirs, and they do seem to know they’re liable to hurt you. They intend to break up, or end this, if they haven’t already. Their actions match, they know whatever they say is going to hurt you, because I do get a feeling they’ve tried to think of how best to word things. But in their mind, and vibe, they’re just flat out done.

Messages:

Their side:

- I just want to be alone.

- Going in different directions.

Your side:

- You make me feel ALIVE! ☀️

- I don’t want anyone else.

Possible signs:

Scorpio, Aquarius & Sagittarius

If you’re dealing with:

5 Cups, Strength, & King of Cups rev is your own energy from a sad and disappointed perspective. It could be because of this person, or any of these people & situations. It seems like you’re going through a very difficult time right now with your people and I’m sending you a lot of love 💗 You’re trying so hard to keep hold of your emotions, trying (unsuccessfully) to hold them in, so they don’t release everywhere…like giant biblical levels of emotional flood waters. But that shows just how deeply you’re disappointed, and focused on what you don’t have, what’s ended, or has been lost. So, I’m going to point out the most *positive* people here, so you can spend more time around those that lift you up. Sending you big hugs, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.

Aries - a person in charge that you think is kind of a dick, could play mind games or be narcissistic with some power they have or feel they have over you…definitely avoid this one 💯

Taurus - could be a friend - a good one, someone you gossip with at work/in a group

Gemini - heartbroken by whatever has happened between you & still carrying that weight with them

Cancer - obsessed with you and will stop at nothing to get you, even lying and telling you whatever you want to hear, be careful 😬

Leo - doesn’t understand what the hold up is, wants to celebrate or reunite with you

Virgo - could be literally moving, relocating, moving from one situation to another successfully, overcoming something and feeling good about it

Libra - a boss bitch that makes decent money, has a decent job, and is very generous with their resources, or you both are together

Scorpio - either planning to take the relationship to the next level, or apologizing because they love you, a very good relationship

Sagittarius - not speaking & doesn’t want to

Capricorn - a missed opportunity for romance, clarifying has some of this reading’s energy, could be this person, it’s not a mutual thing it’s just them

Aquarius - defensive over this person in the reading probably, if you’re giving that person another chance, they seem to love you in a tough love or “fk that bitch” sort of way…but supportive 😆

Pisces - cut you off because you’re too slow and they’re better than that, or switch it