#i don’t feel. ready? yet

[mars-ipan]

ohhh i’m like REALLY homesick huh

[snzluv3r]

i actually feel so incredibly uncomfortable and isolated in this space right now and i know that’s silly because of how many people there are just like me who share the same feelings but idk…the fact that people even think this is defensible behavior is making me feel sick

[ivyithink]

uh-oh, it’s yet another “you are a monster, but you see me and love me for all my faults, and i can’t help but feel the same” dynamic, we have no choice but to go insane over it

[the-great-papyru]

I know this probably isn’t going to reach a lot of people, but the question’s been spinning around in my head nonstop since I thought about it so I’m curious what others think.

At first it seems like the obvious answer is the former. But the fact is, Flowey cares about two things more than anything else. Chara, and control. Which one is more valuable to him is the real debate.

Yes, bringing back Chara should be a priority, but on the other hand… can he really give up that control? If he says something that makes someone mad he can’t undo it, if Chara gets hurt he can’t undo it, he only has one chance and he can’t lose them again.

There’s a lot more to it than bringing his friend back.

I do want to hear some other opinions, so answer if you’d like. (Or reblog to spread it to more people.)

[alwaysrunningoutoftime]

sydney adamu - can't catch me now (cr: sydcarmfiles on x)

[ruushes]

the real dark urge is the desire to replay this expansive endlessly variable rp-rich experience with the exact same character and LI and decisions except they’re a durge now. the other real dark urge is to make my durge a gnome

[akkivee]

I feel like HypMic is at this weird point where they are lingering on how they want to proceed forward. I feel like the music for the 2nd DRB was very experimental, and I did appreciate that even if I didn't like all the music (except for that DragonAsh song tho that was ass LOL). It feels like KR is struggling with how to move forward with telling a story while using the voting system, as such they've kinda written themselves into a corner. Like it was obvious they wanted FP to win the 2nd DRB because it was needed for plot. But at the same time it really feels like the plot has slowed to a crawl at the same time, and between that and the music creeping away from rap you're kinda left with a feeling of disappointment overall. It esp hits harder when you're a fan of BAT and DH given how under utilized they still are in the grand scheme of things. But given how they placed them geographically it feels like yet another instance of KR accidentally writing them into a corner and struggling to rectify that so they can be more relevant but also make it make sense, idk. I still love Kuko no matter what even if the series is currently languishing. (it also doesn't help that there isn't really any unified fandom because of politics, too much content too fast, and people being so oshi-pilled they have no interest in touching content that doesn't interest them. Which again, sucks as BAT fan cuz we don't really have a translator solider for us.)

what’s really really annoying about that, is that it has been put out there that we’ve entered the third act in hypmic’s story and tho it’s not always necessarily the case, usually that means we are heading towards an end. and we are starting to see an end with a lot of og division plot threads so to be closer to the end than not and still having like a third of your cast floundering around is not good!!!!! at all lol!!!! unless there’s a max effort push to bring nagosaka into the fold, it really does feel like nagosaka, no matter what, will feel under utilised

hypmic’s slow to come plot bombs have been a staple since the beginning so i’m not mad at it, esp since i suspect those long waits have something to do with production values and making the next shiny, economically stimulating thing lol, but you’re right about it not being great rn when everything else is not great lol

but i will say hypmic has its formulas. like the way first solos were surface level character introduction raps and the second solos went into depth, for the og divisions, their first drb and preceding dramas were introductory and the 2nd drb dramas really dug deep into them. so hopefully the same will happen for nagosaka when the 3rd drb drama hits them lol 🤞

[organicsaturdaychurch]

Besides my furblet and furbling who are not pictured in grains these are all of my non oddbodies so far!!

Left 2 right we have

Vivian Neldaughter (she/her)

Ametrine Plinko (it/its)

Cumulus Panacea The Gaseous Light (any pronouns)

Dmitrius Boycolor (he/him)

The first 2 I just got for my birthday and the other 2 are from Christmas!!

[guiltandrecourse]

putting off doing actual work here’s what i think the kiddads go-to drinks are

grant - he’s a cider man, much to darryl’s dismay. occasionally dabbles in a craft ipa just to see what the fuss is all about. double vodka monster when he was younger but not so much now

nicky - has twelve jagerbombs and passes out in a bush before u even get to the clerrrb. total liability. pretends to like whiskey to be a hard man but it makes him cough every time

lark - end result of the ‘too much cheap horrible vodka in everything’ to ‘can only drink beer without getting war flashbacks’ pipeline

sparrow - i know in my heart of hearts he drinks like a teenage girl. blue wkd. echo falls summer berries. smirnoff ice. get this man in a field with a watermelon vk he’d be much happier for it

terry jr. - big into classic cocktails. master of the tequila sunrise. tolerance of a fuckin rhino. theatre kid! vodka cranberry will always do. whiteclaw if hes got a job to do

[squuote]

im a stanarrator liker. im a stanarrator hater. im best of both worlds while also your worst indecisive nightmare. those two got the queer tension but it sure ain’t palatable romance I’ll tell you that much.

[unfinishedslurs]

do u love the colors of the comphet

When it’s over, when Henry Creel is dead and dust and they’ve emerged battered and triumphant. When she and Jonathan have ended things. When there is no more fighting to be done, she and Steve give it another go. 

She knows he’s going to ask the same way she knew in ‘83. There’s no waiting this time, no need to wonder if Jonathan might want her too. They gave it the old college try (He lied to her. He was lying to her for months, and she knew something was wrong before that. She thought they could work it out. She’s so fucking sick of lying to herself being lied to). 

He asks with wide, hopeful eyes, running a nervous hand through his hair. He doesn’t have anything to be nervous about. She made up her mind before he even asked. 

She can do it right this time. She can love this boy the way she wants to. The way he wants her to. They’ve both grown in the years since. She’s going to do this right. 

That’s the mantra she keeps in her head when he picks her up and spins her. I can do this. 

She can’t do this. 

It’s somehow the same and different from when they dated the first time. They’re going through the same motions, but there’s something lacking. They’re both older, more jaded. They’re not kids anymore, and it shows. 

They rarely kiss. He hesitates now in a way he didn’t before. Sex is something they don’t bring up at all. Eddie makes a crude joke once, something or other about what Nancy is like in bed, and she and Steve make eye contact. There’s something there, something like mutual understanding, before Robin smacks Eddie upside the back of the head and the moment breaks. She keeps thinking about it long after. Whatever it is that they shared, they don’t talk about it. 

Maybe they’re lying to themselves, both of them. Puppets going through the motions, too stubborn to admit they’re play acting as real people. Still, she can’t give this up. She can’t make the same mistakes all over again. 

Robin corners her two months into the relationship. Part of Nancy is surprised it took her this long. The rest of her is angry she brings it up at all. 

Saying she’s cornered might be doing her a disservice. They’re having a sleepover, painting their nails and talking about boys. Everything a girl is supposed to do. Except Robin is awkward and fumbling, and every name she brings up sounds like a question. Nancy only has Steve to talk about, and barely talks about him at all. 

Finally Robin sighs and puts down the nail polish. “I feel like this subject is making us both miserable,” she declares. “I don’t want to talk about boys, I was just doing it because I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do at girl sleepovers. I haven’t actually been to a sleepover since I was in middle school and the other girls decided I was weird, but I’m pretty sure the point is to have fun. This is not fun. This is agonizing. We should talk about something else.”

“Steve isn’t making me miserable!” She snaps, before realizing she sounds way too defensive. 

Robin peers at her. “Yeah, see, that’s not what I said. That’s not even a little bit close to what I said. Maybe we should talk about this instead. What’s the deal with you and Steve?”

“What deal? There’s no deal.” She turns around and rummages through the nail polish selection. Robin doesn’t exactly have a variety. Her options are red, dark red, and black. She chooses the brighter red with the absent thought that the black would look good on Robin, with her long fingers and dark eyeliner. Then she banishes that thought away. 

“There’s definitely some kind of deal.”

“There isn’t.”

“Nance.” 

She can’t help but turn around then, drawn in by the tone of her voice. There’s a glass wall inside of her, and someone is pounding on it, trying to get out. She wants Robin to see it. She wants someone to see behind the glass. There’s something in her trying to get out. 

“Nancy,” she says again, eyes searing into her soul, “are you happy?”

She smiles, fake and fixed on her face. The glass stays firmly in place.  “Of course I am,” she replies. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

The next time Robin wants to hang out, she’s busy with college preparations. 

It’s not just Robin. She thinks everyone can tell something’s wrong with her. Eddie gives her these looks every time she and Steve are in front of him, like he’s putting together a puzzle. Her mom keeps trying to talk to her. Jonathan keeps trying to talk to her. 

They know, she thinks wildly, every time. She doesn’t know what it is they know. She doesn’t want to find out. 

She avoids them all. 

When she and Steve go to dinner, the waitress captivates her. 

Long, dark hair in braids. Long fingers tapping against the notepad. Dark eyes in a dark face. She’s always loved brown eyes. Nancy has never been one to be jealous of other girls (lie, lie, lie), but suddenly heat floods her body. She wants to be as gorgeous as this woman. She wants her full lips, popping gum. She wants the woman’s swaying hips as she turns and leaves their table. She wants— she wants—

She tears her gaze away to find Steve already looking at her. 

The heat is dosed by the ice that fills her veins. All her senses go on high alert until she realizes he’s actually staring past her. She turns around to see the bartender. He’s handsome, she thinks, tall with tan skin and brown hair carefully styled. He’s talking to a customer, teeth shining as he laughs. 

When she turns back, Steve has firmly fixed his eyes on her. She could almost believe he’d never been staring at the bartender at all. 

There’s something there. Something just out of reach, something she could put a finger out and touch if she were braver. She doesn’t. There’s no gun in her hand here, no adrenaline to keep her going after it all falls apart. 

“What did your dumb boyfriend do this time?” Mike demands, storming in her room. Nancy has half a mind to yell at him to knock first before she registers his words. 

“Steve is- Steve is fine,” she says, startled. “He’s great, actually. Nothings wrong.“

“Then why are you so miserable all the time?” Mike accuses. 

“I am not miserable!”

“You are! You both are, and neither of you will tell anyone what’s wrong, or why-“

“I don’t know why!” She shrieks. Mike falls silent, eyes wide, and Nancy suddenly realizes she’s crying. 

“I don’t know why,” she repeats. “Everything is fine. He’s like, the perfect fucking boyfriend. It’s me, I’m the problem. There’s something wrong with me. There’s a beautiful boy who loves me, and I’m- I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to love him back, but I can’t. I can’t. There’s something wrong with me.” She’s desperate now, wiping away tears as she curls into a ball. She feels pathetic, crying in front of her little brother. She’s the oldest, she should be keeping it together, she shouldn’t let him see her like this. But she can’t help it. There’s something in her screaming to get out. 

Mike, with all the grace and bewilderment of a newborn deer, gingerly pats her shoulder. 

“Have you…talked to Steve about it?”

She gives him a cutting look. It’s probably not as effective as she wants it to be, with her red eyes and tear streaked face. Mike holds his hands up. 

“I’m just saying! He’s your boyfriend, you should talk to him. And if you don’t want him to be your boyfriend, you should really talk to him.”

“I want him to be my boyfriend, I just need to get past whatever this is—“

“Nancy,” Mike says. “It’s not just you. He’s miserable too.”

“Because of me. I just need to—“

Mike shakes his head. “I don’t think it is. If it were because of you, he’d be acting different. More…kicked puppy, or whatever. He’s just being weird,  and won’t tell anyone why. Dustin said he asked Robin, and she doesn’t even know.”

Nancy doesn’t have anything to say to that. 

“I think you need to talk to him,” he says again. “I think you need to talk to each other.”

“When did you get so smart?” She asks, instead of crying again. 

“I’ve always been smarter than you.”

She kicks him for that blatant lie.

“Are we holding onto a dead thing?” She asks out loud. 

He rolls over and looks at her. She’s worried she’s hurt his feelings, broken his heart again, killed any chance they have at a relationship, romantic or not. Then he snorts. 

“Robin got to you too, huh?” He asks, flopping back onto his back to look up at the sky. 

“Mike, actually.”

“Mike? That shithead? What does he know about relationship problems?”

“Are we having relationship problems?”

“I mean,” he says, wry twist to his mouth, “we haven’t had any arguments.”

“Nope.”

“Or general drama.”

“That might be debatable.”

“There’s no need to spice up our sex life.”

She snacks him for that one, and he laughs. She props herself up to look him in the eye. His face is more open than she’s seen it the entire time they’ve been dating. 

“I think you have to be in a relationship to have ‘relationship problems,’” she tells him. “Are we in a relationship?”

He visibly considers this. “I mean, I asked you out, and you said yes. And we never broke up.”

“We haven’t kissed in at least two weeks.”

“Did you want to?”

She takes a moment to think about it. “Not really,” she admits, and his face splits into a grin. 

“Not that you’re not still wonderful, Nancy Wheeler,” he says, teeth shining, “but I don’t think I want to kiss you either. Isn’t that weird?”

When they dated in high school, it was like he couldn’t stand being away from her. He spent every moment he could kissing her, wherever he could. Sometimes it felt almost like a performance he put on for the people around them, lifting her up and spinning her just so everyone would know how in love they were. It was stifling at times, feeling like something to prove. Still, it was how he was, so in love he could burst with it. 

Now, she wonders if it was always a performance. Maybe they’ve both been on a stage, and neither of them noticed the lights blinding them until now. 

“It is a little weird,” she says finally.

“Right?!”

He holds out a hand to shake, the other one firmly in his pocket. God, she wishes she could love him. “Good go, eh Wheeler?” He asks, smile crooked and shaky. 

She snorts. “We made ourselves and everyone around us miserable,” she points out. But she takes his hand. 

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

[napping-sapphic]

I’m not cut out for even slightly more intense health issues than my usual stuff yall so here’s my will for when i die of feel too bad disorder: i’d like to dedicate my few life achievements to all the sapphics out there and also they can have all my stuff i guess

[bright-and-burning]

i turned my phone off post-race, turned it back on after ~2hrs, and then burst into tears trying to find just a smidge of amusement in any of this. can you tell we’re a week out from what is usually the worst day of the year for me?

[itsmarsss]

the ending hurt but the whole episode showed growth for blitz and I like that!

[nikkiruncks]

Jeia + looks of love (pt 10)