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#i don’t know my real last name
fulane-de-tal · 6 months
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your house isn’t there anymore. it’s been killed, brutally, and replaced by drywall and given a similar name. your grandfather’s passport has the wrong birthdate and too little information. your last name isn’t spelled right for what it is but the real spelling will never be found. the places in your mind are gone forever. what do you do with that?
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rwsdarw · 9 months
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Does anyone else get sad at how close familial bonds turns into mutual awkwardness over the years or are are you normal??
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dreamofbecoming · 1 year
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ok fuck it context now on ao3
“I’m freaking out, man!”
“You’re what? Why? This is like, what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?”
“I mean, yeah, dude, but now it’s here, it’s happening, and tomorrow it’ll be done and I can’t take it back!”
“Do you want to take it back? Because I think that’s a terrible idea, but if it’s really what you want, I’ll sneak you out the back right now.”
Dustin deflates a little, slumping into the plush chair this weird little church greenroom was nice enough to provide. “No, I don’t want to leave. Of course I don’t.”
Steve puts his hands on Dustin’s shoulders, not massaging, just resting. He doesn’t want to smear too much of his scent onto him before the ceremony, but old habits die hard. Steve suspects he’s always going to want to scent the kids for comfort, even though they’re literally all grown and starting families of their own and don’t need their old omega babysitter anymore.
Case in point, Dustin’s wedding is meant to start in, oh, looks like about 25 minutes, so Steve has to smooth this crisis over double time.
“What’s really bothering you, Dust? You were over the moon yesterday, and the day before that, and every day since you and Susie proposed to each other. Hell, every day since you met! What’s going on now?”
There’s a pause, which is always unsettling coming from Dustin, who hasn’t shut up for more than twelve consecutive minutes in the decade plus Steve has known him, but then he sighs.
“She wants kids.”
Steve’s brow furrows. “And you…don’t?”
Dustin huffs, frustration rising in his scent. “It’s not that I don’t, it’s that I don’t know if it’s a good idea, you know?”
“And you guys haven’t talked about this before now? You’ve been together for like eleven years, dude!”
“We have, of course we have! I’m just thinking about the risks, Steve! I’m a beta, I can’t carry her pups, and pregnancies are dicey for alpha females! What if something happens?”
“First of all don’t call women females, it’s weird. Erica or Nance will definitely smack you for that, and you don’t need a black eye in your wedding photos.” Dustin nods, cringing a little.
“Second, pregnancy isn’t the only option, man, and also it’s her decision. If she wants to carry them, that’s a discussion you need to have with her, but you can’t just shut her down about it. She knew you were a beta when she decided to marry you. She picked you because she loves you, don’t go deciding for her she’s better off with someone else. And besides, if you decide it doesn’t feel right for both of you, you can talk about adoption, or surrogacy, or…I don’t know what all the options are, but I bet there’s tons! Hell, I’d carry for you guys, if you wanted.”
“You would?” Dustin’s eyes get big and shiny almost immediately, and shit, Steve’s gotta shut this down now. The groom can’t be going out there with red eyes and tear stains, Susie will murder Steve on principle.
But he can’t lie to Dustin. Swore he never would, not when it mattered. “Course I would, man, what’s family for? Aw hell, kid, don’t cry, your mate will run me over with her car if your photos are fucked up because of me.”
“I just- I can’t believe you’d do that for me! You don’t even know if I’ll be any good at it!”
Ah, so that’s what this is really about.
“Of course you’ll be good at it, Henderson. You’d be an incredible dad, any kid would be lucky to have you. I mean, your kids are gonna turn out to be nerd city, but that was always a given.”
Dustin gives him a bitchy little eye roll, which was of course Steve’s aim. He still smells anxious, though.
“How can you be sure, though? It’s not like I have any idea what a dad is supposed to be like, you know? It’s why I kept latching onto older male figures, no offense to you and Eddie.”
Little shit. “You should be so lucky, you little twerp.”
Dustin shoves him away, but he’s grinning now, and his scent is slowly returning to the lemon-bright joy that colors it so often Steve just associates it with Dustin’s base scent at this point, so he’ll take the win.
“You really wanna know how I know you’ll make a great dad, Dustybun?”
“Don’t fucking call me that, today’s supposed to be my day!”
“I’m your best man, I’ll call you whatever I want. Seriously though, I have a story for you.”
“A story, huh? I don’t know, Eddie’s more the storyteller in your relationship…”
“I’m gonna go out there and tell your bride to delay the ceremony because you shat your slacks and need new ones, you menace.”
“Okay, okay!” Dustin laughs. “Tell your story.”
“I was gonna put this in my speech later, but I think you need to hear it now, and honestly it might be more about me than you, and I don’t want to steal the spotlight or anything.”
“Not worried about that, but I’m intrigued.”
“You know how when you’re a kid, you learn how to pick out emotion scents by context clues, from like your family and stuff?”
Dustin lifts an unimpressed eyebrow. “Yes, Steve, I’m aware of one of the foundational tenets of our society, which we all personally experienced.”
“Almost fifteen years I’ve known you, and your attitude hasn’t improved one bit, you know that?”
Dustin waves imperiously for him to continue. Steve glares at him, but they really are running short on time.
“You ever know a kid who had like, a gap? Some feeling they had never run into before, so they didn’t know what the smell meant?” Dustin shakes his head, looking curious.
“There was this girl in my class when we were like, seven? Eight? Something like that. Anyway, she borrowed Tommy’s favorite eraser, one of those animal-shaped ones with the faces printed on? He loved that thing. The girl, Cassie, she broke it, by accident. Tommy lost his shit. I’d never seen him so angry. And like, you know how little kids emotions don’t really come through that strong? He smelled like, grown-up angry. Filled the whole room. Freaked the teacher out, too. Everyone’s backing the hell up out of Tommy’s way, even me. But Cassie was just confused. Because no adult in her life had ever been truly angry around her, so she hadn’t learned what it smelled like yet.”
Dustin is listening avidly, looking gratifyingly similar to how he does when Eddie DMs.
“Anyway, Tommy slapped her so hard it left a bruise, got his dumb ass suspended. But I just remember being so jealous, you know? Can you imagine? Eight years old and never knew what anger smelled like. Hell, at that point anger was just what home smelled like to me.”
Aw shit, now Dustin just smells sad.
“Do you remember when I drove you to the Snow Ball?”
Dustin’s got his thinking face on now, trying to figure out why Steve keeps jumping all over the place. Sue him, he’s no Eddie.
He nods anyway.
“Before you got out of the car, when I told you I’d come back to pick you up, you gave me this huge smile, and the car filled up with something I’d never smelled before. Not really, anyway. Maybe like, in passing, you know? Like in the hallway at school, but always faint and never towards me, so I never focused on it.”
Dustin’s eyebrows are totally scrunched up now, little genius brain whirring away. Goddamn brat never had any patience.
“I didn’t ask about it, because I wasn’t sure it was important, and also a little because I felt like enough of a caveman around you little rocket scientist dweebs I didn’t need you explaining feelings to me too, but I kept smelling it from you after that. And from El, and a little from Lucas and Max and even once from your mom, but it was just confusing, you know? I couldn’t figure out what was causing it, so I had no context clues to figure out what it meant.
“And then at Starcourt, after Robin and I went to go puke up those Russian drugs—”
“Ditched me and Erica who were very responsibly trying to wrangle you, you mean.”
“Tomato, tomahto, kid. Anyway, I told her I had a crush on her and she panicked and came out to me, so I switched to making fun of her crush so she would know I was okay with it, and suddenly there was that smell again. First time I ever smelled it coming from her. So after everything was done, I asked her.”
“Oh, so you’ll ask her, but not me? Hurtful, Steve.”
Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, shithead, because Robbie already knew I was a moron, and she was never gonna want to go out with me, so I didn’t need to impress her. I could look stupid to Rob back then, but I still wanted you guys to think I was cool.”
“Steve, buddy, my brother, my best friend, my favorite jock please don’t tell Lucas I said that, we literally never thought you were cool.”
“Now who’s being hurtful?”
“Just the truth, Munson. I tell it like it is.”
“Ugh, whatever. The point is, I asked Bobbie what she felt for me in that bathroom, and she told me that’s when she realized she would love me forever. That we were going to be best friends.”
Dustin looks stricken.
“That’s what I was smelling all that time. Honey. That’s what I smelled in the car in the Hawkins Middle parking lot. You loved me. You were literally the first person in my whole life who ever did.”
“Steve—”
“This isn’t—look, I know it’s kind of sad and pathetic for kid Steve, but this isn’t about that. It’s not about me, okay? It’s about how my whole life turned around the day Dustin Henderson decided he loved me, because he never stopped. Not for a single second of the last thirteen years, and because you loved me then, I have a platonic soulmate and a horde of little siblings and a mate I adore and more friends than I can count on all my fingers and toes! You’re the one who encouraged me to go to cosmetology school, you’re the one who introduced me to Eddie, you’re the one who stood by me and let me crash on your mom’s couch when my parents kicked me out. My life is full of love, and joy, and purpose, and it all started with you, Dustin. I’m here because you loved me, and because once you started loving me you never stopped. I have smelled honey on you every single day since the 1984 Snow Ball, and that’s how I know you’ll be an incredible father. Because if you have all that love for a washed up ex-jock omega nobody had ever loved before? You’ll have all that and more times a million for any kid lucky enough to call you Dad.”
They’re both crying by now. Susie is gonna kill them for sure, but as Dustin buries himself in Steve’s arms like he’s still six inches shorter, Steve decides it doesn’t matter. This is worth it.
There’s a knock at the door, just in time it seems.
“Dingus, baby Dingus, you in there? T minus 5 minutes, boys, stick those feet in the oven if you gotta!”
“Yeah, Bobs, I hear you! We’ll be out in a sec, no cold feet in sight.”
“Roger that, bubba! I’ll inform the bride!” He can hear her racing off, probably dancing with pre-wedding excitement. For a cynical lesbian who has a new girlfriend every month and swears marriage is an archaic institution built on misogyny and omegaphobia, she sure does love weddings.
“You ready, kid?”
Dustin has taken the brief interlude as an opportunity to splash his face with water from the sink in the corner, so he doesn’t look like he’s been crying to into Steve’s shoulder, but Steve makes sure to straighten his tie and finger comb his curls back into place.
“Yeah, I think I’m ready.” He looks at Steve for a long moment, then throws his arms around him one last time. “I’m really glad you’re my brother, Steve.”
Steve squeezes him tighter for a moment, breathing in the familiar scent of lemon and cut grass and honey. Of family. Of love.
“Yeah, kid. Me too.”
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mushroominaforest · 17 days
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So okay I know I was literally just whining about school a bunch but it is definitely awesome to get to see all my (and I do have some, believe it or not) friends again! The one I was worried about was actually super chill so I think it’s fine now lol. She does have beef with my other friends though and she does still hate the friend I maybe sorta have a tiny crush on.
(Okay so that friend that I might have a crush on held my hand today when we were walking to English class and I stg I was moments away from spontaneously combusting.)
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(Ignore the messy drawing lol)
She’ll be yapping about something that annoyed her meanwhile I am no longer breathing and by some miracle she remains completely oblivious.
She keeps doing stuff like this and that’s why we had so many dating allegations last year lmfao
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prettybbychim · 2 months
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i can count on one hand the amount of female characters in this game that have made me stop and stare but damn She. stunning i’m in love
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feelingtheaster99 · 10 months
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Does anyone else think it’s fascinating how nicknames develop? Like sometimes a nickname is a logical shortening of a name, sometimes it’s a different part of their name, like a last name or a middle name, and sometimes it’s completely random, manifesting out of a series of twisting inside jokes and memories that is impossible to explain and you’re just like, “Oh yeah, that’s our friend, The Ball, don’t mind him.”
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starscreamfireworks · 9 months
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got the coolest fucking ant plush ever as a new years gift
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[ID: Three photos of a maroon ant plush with a textured pattern taken from various angles on a tan carpet. The first one is from the front, slightly pointed down to show the head, and behind it, the thorax and abdomen. The second one is taken from the side. The third one is taken from above, showing the full body.
End ID.]
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wiklm · 5 months
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hmm i was just thinking about wilzard and realized i’ve never showed them on here?? they were originally intended as a fun persona for my art and then they evolved into a general oc who just like. vaguely resembles me and i love them very much
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laniidae-passerine · 10 months
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Honestly I think Dean Highbottom has some shit to answer to as well. The mockery, the derision, the outright admittance that he was hoping Coriolanus would fail and the Snow family would continue to suffer. How someone who loathed the Games still treated a young man with cruelty because of the past, because of social divides that would be so easy to tear down. In the end, it wasn’t just Gaul who shaped Snow into the man he became. So bitter and hateful. So incapable of compassion and forgiveness. Just like his father. Just like his Dean.
#like yeah there were a lot of things questionable about Snow even before he was chosen as a mentor in the games#but like. damn. you didn’t even consider the idea he could be better than his father did you?#the way kindness could have unravelled some of the hate in Snow’s heart#listen to me tell you the horrible things your father did. listen to me tell you that you can be different. you are not the past.#the divides between us do not truly exist. look at the weapon in your hand. it is real. and it can do real damage#but if you never hate someone - if they never fool you into letting violence into your heart - they can never make you use it#it breaks my heart. how could you hate a ghost so much that you’d kill a child. I don’t know. but the Dean does. and so does Snow.#the cycles run and run until somebody stops. and burns some bread. and shares berries. and takes an arrow. and says no more. I love you#it is difficult. it could hurt me. it could be the very last thing I do. it may not even serve me well. but I love you. I love. always.#how pathetic hate makes you. how strong love makes you. like staring at the Dean and staring at characters like Haymitch#like two substance abusing men who know the system inside out. who are complicit. who are victims. both embittered and angry.#but one saw a child and decided to punish him for the past#and the other saw a child and decided - okay. it’s been 23 years. my heart hurts. I want to give in. I want to hate you. I want to not care.#I’m going to care anyway. I’m in so much pain. It’s killing me. I’m going to care anyway. about you both. it won’t be perfect. but I care.#and I’ll be here through hell. and I will fuck up. so fucking badly. because I’m still addicted and angry and god knows I have suffered.#god knows these hands are bloody and they always will be. but I will keep coming back. I will keep trying. I will still love.#and in the end I will write names in a book that belongs to you and I will find a little bit of peace in a house where the sun shines#and the geese make ridiculous noises in the yard. and love will have seen me through.#HAYMITCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU MY IMPERFECT DARLING#dean highbottom#coriolanus snow#the hunger games#a ballad of songbirds and snakes#haymitch abernathy#thg#abosas#suzanne collins#SHE WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS
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thedeadthree · 3 months
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HEHEHEHE 🥀💌☺️🥴
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crowley1990 · 4 months
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I’ve now had two serendipitous really lovely chance encounters with a stranger the last two times I was in London where I ended up sitting next to someone and then having a great chat with them for like an hour and it was just so nice and really gave me a high and I think this is my sign to start going on dates
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thirsty-4-ghouls · 6 months
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So, I have a sapphire sapphire pair of veilspun that had a hatchling with mismatched genes, I also went pretty crazy with the valentines day genes so I have two of each left in my vault. I need to breed change but
I'm planning on changing him
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into this
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alluralater · 7 months
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just finished moving around/reorganizing my entire bedroom. i have cried three times today but now i’m laying in bed, my room smells of roses, and i’m eating french bread. this was not the bipolar hot girl mania i was promised but damn if i don’t do it well
#i haven’t been sleeping well at all whatsoever for the past two weeks and it’s gotten to the point where my dreams are so vivid but not just#like ugh i can’t explain it on here because im not about to open a whole can of worms like that in my tags and be like revealing#family secrets.#essentially i am having normal dreams but they are horrendously vivid and of no real purpose.#i woke up fucking like completely upset this morning and then started crying#my roommate thinks it’s because i haven’t been sleeping + everything else going on#and like ya know what she’s PROBABLY right#but even still i just need my body to LISTEN TO ME and stop being all sensitive!!!#i legitimately almost texted the loml this long text today and thank fuck i didn’t because who knows where that would lead#but i’ve been having dreams about them too and it’s frustrating me. like the universe is trying beyond all measure to push us back together#and i just have to keep saying no. it’s like this test of morality except it never fucking ENDS and the consequence is actually pleasure and#relief beyond measure. like— to even just kiss them again? to hear them say my name again.#whenever we’re out at the same time i can feel them staring at me and i can see them in my peripherals watching me#just fucking forcing this love into me. the feeling of their hands on my body and all of their questions about how i’m doing#god i can feel all of it.#i nearly fucking threw up last time a few weeks ago when they kept watching me and i got so overloaded with emotions and my fucking stomach#wouldn’t stop turning. but anyways right like— i cannot be with them and i don’t want to be. like yes im still attracted to them and yes i#feel all of these feelings but it stops me dead in my tracks when i remember what they said and the things they did.#i am not the woman who bends my convictions because i love someone. i can’t be that person. i won’t be that person. not for anyone and#not for them. but i see them in my dreams anyways and it is all too real and too present. it’s hardly ever the present so why. why why why?#it makes me terrified thinking that i will one of these nights just say yes and they’ll kiss me and everything that means anything in myself#will virtually mean nothing. like i won’t be a good person because i’ve knowingly allowed them to have me.#so anyways yeah and the fact that my snapchat memories and everything else are just FILLED with pictures and videos of us is killing me.#i really am scared that i’ll just give in. and what worse is that i would just double down and not tell anyone. i wouldn’t fucking#tell a soul if we did anything because i just know it isn’t right. and the fact that i know i wouldn’t be honest means i KNOW it’s bad.#so what the fuck. the fuck am i supposed to do when i have all these dreams and even just the ones about my mom and my brother#my family- i want to talk to them about it. i want to fucking cry to them and tell them how much it hurts that they hurt people and i’m just#some occasional exception to that because they love me. and i want to fucking scream. i want to know why. i want to fuck them until they#can barely breathe and then do it all over again. i want to feel their perfect fingers inside me and i want their mouth on mine. i fucking#HATE that they couldn’t be a good person. ugh okay anyways why did you read this??
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brzatto · 1 year
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would richie take carmy’s last name if given the opportunity y/n
i’m tormented by this question…
this is so hard to answer because i feel like this would first require them getting legally married which would require a proposal which would require them acknowledging that they’re together in the first place and in my head they literally don’t ever do that. they could move in together and wake up with each other every day for the next 10 years and i still don’t think they’d ever actually think of themselves as “being together.” like it exists objectively on a surface level in their minds but there aren’t any real labels for what they are to each other and they don’t stress themselves over trying to figure it out.
but in the event that they did say fuck it and go through all that legal binding business—i actually don’t think richie would take carmy’s last name. ik in the show richie doesn’t ever really talk about his heritage at all and constantly claims to be italian when he isn’t but i’d also like to think it isn’t necessarily his heritage he’s running away from, it’s just the berzatto family he’s trying to incorporate himself into, and if he were in a position where he had that sort of affirmation/validation (like through ~marriage~) then he wouldn’t find it necessary
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years
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mfw someone i’m mutually blocked with seems to frequent this blog anyway (you know who you are)
#i’m not gonna name names but if the text in the tags managed to bring someone to mind then… that’s just how it is ig#though don’t send this to the person you think of ok? we may be thinking of different people after all soooooo yeah#let’s all stay clear out of trouble together… maybe~? i’m just gonna vent my confused frustrations in the tags in case the person sees this#seriously. haven’t i gone over this before? don’t we block each other for a reason?#you blocked me first (prolly) bc i ship lxl with each other. i blocked you in return (and bc i hate your ship just like you don’t like mine)#so… let’s just agree to stay off each other’s blogs. capisce?#i don’t like you and i know you don’t like me either. so seriously can we just coexist in separate circles or sth? stay away!!!!!!!!!!!#and like real question: if you are somehow here… why? just why? you made it clear that you don’t trust my tls so… why are you even here??#it’s getting kinda irritating to be told that you may/may not be making indirect posts @ me on main. seriously!!!!!!#i’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt (that it may be just a small coincidence) but it’s getting real hard to do so these days#so if you’re somehow reading these tags (and idk how bc we’re mutually blocked remember) please just… stay away?????????#in all seriousness i sincerely hope that this was just a few mere coincidences#bc lbr who would willingly check the blogs of people they’ve blocked without being prompted to? it makes no sense whatsoever#i hope that this will be the last post i make about this. bc seriouslyyyyyyy i don’t have the time for this nonsense </3#and before you accuse me of wanting to start discourse i’m not!!! i just!!!! want to be left alone!!!!!!!!!!!!#let me shitpost and occasionally tl in peace pls my bones are too aged for this
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p0ssywhippedcream · 1 year
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anon saying this account is mdni it’s worth mentioning this account is owned by a minor too so really it’s all for show
hi hun! let’s actually not make assumptions about people! I am not a minor, I don’t know what post that anon is talking about and the reason I don’t share my age is because of something personal you have no business knowing, not because I’m underage.
please keep in mind that while you know my name and some other bits of personal information, you don’t know everything about me and I keep it that way for a reason.
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