#the assumptions really need to stop

[p0ssywhippedcream]

anon saying this account is mdni it’s worth mentioning this account is owned by a minor too so really it’s all for show

hi hun! let’s actually not make assumptions about people! I am not a minor, I don’t know what post that anon is talking about and the reason I don’t share my age is because of something personal you have no business knowing, not because I’m underage.

please keep in mind that while you know my name and some other bits of personal information, you don’t know everything about me and I keep it that way for a reason.

[wimpy-imp]

I remember many times when my grandmother would make off hand remarks about how testosterone would make me look like a joke. that it would be funny and unnatural for someone like me to have a beard.

before that i remember my mother outing me to my grandparents without my knowledge or consent. and then having to sit with both of them on different occasions for a year while they tried to tell me i was just a masculine woman. One where they thought it was okay to ask if I'd get pregnant if a potential partner "really really wanted it 🥺" (Which. sidenote. what the actual fuck??)

i remember the day after one of those conversations my mother took me into town for a "suprise" from my grandma. and they tried to make me get my ears pierced. even when i said i didn't want to. the only reason they stopped was because i had an autistic shutdown in public and they were too embarrassed to keep trying to force me into it. That happened 2 years ago. i have very real trauma from that day.

They never cared about my gender nonconformity until i came out.

They still seem to believe that I'd only be a man if i actually secretly hated myself.

[natsmagi]

sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.

[crimeronan]

Hunter notices Amity is really distressed about that new kid Odalia somehow has, so he eventually suggests kidnapping because Odalia sucks as a parent and why not? Amity is still in her bloodline deduction state of mind so she blurts out that people will then make the awful mistake of assuming Grimwalker Alador is THEIR child, which is the wrong thing to say because for Hunter that's hilarious and even more reason to go kidnap him.

i love the shitpost horror-comedy universe where lumiter just keep acquiring grimwalker babies that look like them. in increasingly stupid & ill-conceived ways. between luzwalker and aladorwalker anyone who knows the three of them is like damn hunter why does the universe let you have unprotected sex with Two girlfriends. while hunter is out here like. ok. i have literally never even Attempted to touch either of these women in my life. and have no idea What The Actual Fuck is going on. however i Will commit to the bit if prompted.

[crowleycorvid]

I want to make it ABUNDANTLY clear that no one here is owed my friendship or being my mutual if you make me uncomfortable. And I am allowed to block you if you do. Get it out of your head that you have some entitlement to someone's content or their friendship whom you barely know online.

[aro-barrel]

i used to go through the aromantic tags pretty often and i stopped for a while, but now that i'm looking through them again, it seems like there's an uptick of alloaros who seem constantly annoyed at aces? and like, my blog is mostly an aro blog (even though i'm aroace), so i get miffed when people mention asexuality on a post specifically about aromanticism. but the sentiment i've been seeing seems kinda hostile and rubs me the wrong way. there's a reason we formed a community together, all of us aspecs (including aplatonic people who everyone fucking forgets). we all understand being defined by what others perceive as our absence of humanity, of heart, of care, or whatever. and our aspec identities blur together—maybe not for us, but in the eyes of others. i just wish people in this community could better mediate our differences and have open conversations instead of jumping to policing and drawing lines in the sand.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me

[lith-myathar]

.

[apple-os]

ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

[toastsnaffler]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[featureenvyproductions]

"Why does everything need to be Gay now it's so shallow to make men attracted to each other when they could be Pure Platonic Friends -"

oops sorry I can't hear you over the sound of me Doing What I Want Forever because I have been watching movies, TV, and animation since the 80s and have watched enough shallow heterosexual romances that would have been stronger as mlm-wlw solidarity friendships to fill the space between stars in a galaxy

[fairypoet73]

I get the whole "no kinkshaming" thing since it's Kinktober, but like, aren't you giving a pass to MAPs and Rapists by saying that?

Valid question, valid concern, so let me clarify. The important thing to remember is that I also said that I do not condone these actions irl. In fiction you can do anything you want and nobody gets hurt, that's fine, because again, nobody gets hurt. The second you take that out of fiction though is where we have our problem.

If you want to prey on actual real life children or watch actual child pornography, you don't have an age kink, you're a pedophile. If you want to actually rape someone, you don't have a non-con kink, you're a rapist. If you wanna fuck a vaporeon, that means you have a kink. If you try to fuck your actual real life dog that makes you a zoophile.

So I'll say it again, JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING IN A FICTIONAL SETTING, DOESN'T MEAN THEY WANT TO DO IT IRL. In fact, every person I know who has a thing for sexy Pokemon is disgusted at the idea of having sex with an animal irl. Most people are able to discern reality from fiction and understand that what you do in fiction has no weight in the real world.

On top of that, it's been proven time and time again that fiction about certain things can actually help reduce a person's willingness to do that thing irl. Here's an example I learned in high school (or maybe middle school). In ancient Athens, they held public plays every once in a while, specifically tragedies that were filled with lots and LOTS of murder. They did this because they believed that it would help work as a way to help the populous vent their violent thoughts and desires, or provide some catharsis to someone having those thoughts, and it actually worked. The rates of violent crimes dropped significantly after the public showings of these tragedies.

Last big point is that the majority of kinks come from trauma. Lots of people with non-con kinks were victims of non-consensual sexual activities. Lots of people with incest kinks have really abusive families. Lots of people with age kinks were sexually abused as children. Using fiction to explore these kinks can, and often is, very therapeutic. I can speak from experience on that myself, though I would prefer to refrain from talking about many of my kinks and trauma publicly, so please do not ask.

The whole idea that if you consume certain types of fiction they will infect your brain and turn you into a monster is a very conservative puritan idea that Christians have harshly forced into the mainstream. While there are some examples of fiction doing that, there are just as many examples proving the opposite. Both can be true, just because they contradict doesn't mean they both can't be true. It's an issue with nuance, like pretty much every other issue in the world, that we should try to judge on a case-by-case basis. Not everyone who reads a Sherlock Holmes book is a murderer. Not everyone who reads WWII historical fiction novels is a Nazi. Those two things are obvious. So why do we have this double standard when it comes to adult fiction?

I give no passes to MAPs and Rapists, because they don't deserve a pass. I simply want to curate a safe space where people can feel like they can experiment with certain aspects of their sexuality without hurting anyone else that they may not be able to in most other spaces.

[rubberbandballqueen]

yesterday at work, the kids had to like, make their own puzzles by drawing stuff on paper n then cutting them into pieces n stuff, n this one kid came up to me saying that the kid sitting next to him was saying mean things, n the second kid was like, "it wasn't me, it was him!" n pointed at the creature he'd drawn for his puzzle.

i didn't really know how to handle the situation (though thinking about it, i probably should have just said that just bc the creature was saying mean things abt his friend didn't mean he was in the right for passing on those thoughts), so i just told him i didn't want to solve his puzzle if the creature it featured was gong to be so mean to other people, and for some reason it worked??

i guess it's just easy to forget how deeply children care about what adults think bc of how we as adults have learned to not care so much abt what other people think and operate on the assumption that others don't automatically care abt our thoughts.

[iliketoydinosaurs]

Remember in s1 when Dean literally knew it wasn't really John because he said he was proud of him instead of beating him. Because I do.

[bew-berry]

I'm catching up to Breaking Bad because my attention span just could not commit for a while, and I left off at Season 4 episode 8. Gus's partner in the flashback made me gasp out loud.

[snekdood]

Im so tired of acting the way i think some ppl on here think i should act. Im tired of assuming theyre seeing me through the lens my ex provides for them. Im tired of feeling like nothing i say or do matters anyways because people have made up their mind about me and refuse to try to see me in another light. I know who I am and I know what im like and im tired of trying to almost essentially help people see me change my behavior for the better from something i never even was? Because i guess i feel like if i act like most people dont know about the issues between me and my ex that means other people will think im just *pretending nothing is wrong or happening*. It feels like i cant win either way. I cant play pretend as this horrible person whos trying to reform and have people allow me the chance to actually change and recognize that change and i cant also be myself and just know myself without people thinking im just ignoring this thing that isnt even a thing i need to work on or ever even fucking did. Im so tired of feeling convinced that other people are convinced im horrible and having to work from there and having to try to navigate that situation and get someone to see my side of things because ive just come to the conclusion that some people just will refuse to and idk. Theres nothing i can do in this situation. I just know i didnt deserve any of it.