#i don't know if i'm doing this right

[blackwolfstabs]

HEYY! excuse-me 🥺 can you do some hcs (sfw/nsfw) of sam dating a girl like "golden retriever" "hyper energy" and "hooded child who doesn't stop in place" girlf ?

HEY! lol ok so you mean like hcs for sam x hyper gf and x chill/dark gf?? i think i can do that 😊 forgive me if they're not that good or if i interpreted your ask wrong - i'm not very good at this haha

p.s. i'm gonna use Hyper GF & Dark GF in place of names because idk if you wanted this to be an x reader thing or not :)

sam x hyper gf

SFW GIF is not mine

they're like the sun and the moon - Hyper GF is very much a morning person, always happy and intent on waking Sam up when she wants her to get up and will be utterly annoying to get her up. whereas Sam is a night person and takes her revenge when Hyper GF starts falling asleep. intentionally moving, scaring, or showing her random shit on her phone, just to keep her from falling asleep.

Sam is not a shopper, but will go with Hyper GF, especially because she likes to go to the mall and Sam knows just how many creepy-ass people target girls there.

Hyper GF loves to be held, especially when she gets her way into Sam's lap, and Sam is naturally warm - warmer than anyone would expect - so usually Hyper GF will end up falling asleep in her arms.

Sam doesn't wear jackets too often around Hyper GF, because Hyper GF is lowkey obsessed with her muscles. she likes to trace them through her shirt and even on her bare skin when wearing a tank top (or crop top for her abs), while being held or cuddling. but Hyper GF is a playful golden retriever so she may sneak a few soft tickles for her entertainment.

NSFW

Hyper GF typically leads but it switches when she gets too stimulated. Sam's much calmer when it comes to the intense stuff, so she keeps them both under control.

Sam growls when fighting back moans and that thrills the fuck out of Hyper GF, so she considers Sam the alpha to her omega like a dog hierarchy - in other words, Sam is dominate in sexual interaction.

they always take to soft/gentle sex, unless requested by one or the other. if unsure, Sam never fails to ask "is this okay?" before she tries something she hasn't before.

Sam always takes the lead in aftercare, making sure Hyper GF is okay and able to calm from arousal. usually, she will spend the time stroking Hyper GF's hair or holding her in bed, until she falls asleep before going to sleep herself.

sam x dark gf

SFW GIF is not mine

both are lowkey way too awkward for their own good, especially when they first started dating. however, their dark sense of humor cut that awkward phase short.

Dark GF makes Sam feel normal about being the daughter of a serial killer. she describes Sam as the "perfect breed" and says that's what makes her the perfect girlfriend. it makes Sam feel that even when she experiences the dark spells of her inherited killer's instinct, she is still accepted without being biasedly known as Tara, Chad, and Mindy know her.

Dark GF is very protective with a hint of possessiveness when it comes to Sam. she gets along with Tara very well because of this.

they don't really cuddle, except when one or the other is sick, nor do they put their relationship on display. Sam is more into doing subtle things, like holding the door, forehead or on-the-cheek kisses, and sweet names like "my love." Dark GF likes to hold Sam's hand, like she'd do it 24/7, if she could. any chance she gets, she takes it upon herself to grab Sam's hand and just hold it, especially under the table.

NSFW

Dark GF is primarily dominant and is best at bringing out Sam's hard-to-believe submissive side. she likes to tease Sam before officially getting into it, not missing to emphasize "you're cute when you're needy," just to fluster her more.

Sam's not afraid to play it rough with Dark GF. in fact, she rarely ever gives warnings. she knows when too much is too much, but she's very testy with Dark GF.

Dark GF will refer to Sam as "Loomis" when things get too far (if you know what i mean). however, it's also an indication that she wants more.

when they make out, they'll do it anywhere in private. it doesn't have to just be in the bedroom. but if they get caught, they'll be redder than the blood they seem to bond over.

hope this suffices, anon! this was so much harder than i thought, it lowkey took me hours haha. like i said, i'm not good at this so i'm very sorry if this sucked and you were expecting better.. and sorry for the wait! 🩶

- parker (BWS)

[wingedkatgirl]

Thought I'd participate in the "Gathering of Sams" thing @tracobuttons is doing

[stephenstrange-md-phd]

They're saying apparently #Seductive Sundays are a thing?

I'm trying to follow along @tonystarkstrange @born-to-be-mischievous @sir-thomas-sharpe-anon @the-tony-stark @stripesofbrooklyn @official-clint-barton @americasfineasscaptain @loki-laufeyson-friggason @tiny-starky

[genericfiredemon]

🎄!HAPPY HOLIDAY SALE!🎄

ANY LINEART BUST IS NOW $10 ON KoFi!!!EVERY OTHER COMMISSION SHEET OPTION IS 25% OFF!HMU ON THE LISTED PLATFORMS IF YOU'RE INTERESTED!!!

(Here’s a link to my BS:  Ko-fi.com/genericfiredemon)

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

[maeamian]

Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.

They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Life™, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.

So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.

[brainrotcharacters]

the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

[biowho]

The first woman I ever fell in love with should at least have a tarot card if she's not going to be in Veilguard

here's bethany

Edit!!! I’ve never been more happy to be wrong

[anneapocalypse]

So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.

[deathricedrawn]

i'm ready to try

[egophiliac]

Since book 7 part 5 (the part where we meet Meleanor/Maleanor 👀) is coming to EN this month, i would love to see your take on lilia’s proposal to meleanor! i mean they were like little kids right? it couldn’t have been that serious…i think the only reason she even brought it up again is because she could tell lilia still genuinely loved her…(even if he didn’t realize it himself?) but, oh well! Let’s think about silly childhood shenanigans to numb the pain! ^_^ (orz)

oh shit?! get ready for a doozy guys, it's comiiiiiing ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I chickened out of posting the whole thing (look, I get VERY carried away when it comes to these wacky kids and their Tragedy), but I do believe that it probably ended with Lilia getting embarrassed and just shoving the first thing he sees into his mouth to try and cover for it.

(we're just lucky it wasn't a frog this time)

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[demaparbat-hp]

Izumi (steambaby) sketches.

[lazylittledragon]

i'm in one of those phases where i really wish i believed in manifesting and spellcasting and things like that bc you know when you want something so bad you're literally praying for the universe to let it happen