#i don't set out to analyse her -- but in analysing the show i must analyse her as well if by the edges

[sisterdivinium]

Finding "the meaning" to a show that could have had up to five or seven seasons but was cancelled after the second is somewhat like trying to understand a novel composed of seventy chapters by having read only twenty — there is a whole wealth of information which we do not possess that could alter our reading of any given element or of the entire thing in itself.

Still, there are always patterns that weave a story into a cohesive unit and they can help us to better grope in darkness towards comprehension. One such pattern in Warrior Nun appears to be how the consequences to mistakes, "sins" or evil deeds committed by characters manifest.

Basic storytelling usually requires characters to act on something so that complications or resolutions may arise from their choices and move the plot forwards. In Warrior Nun, many of these actions are quite tragic in nature: Suzanne's arrogance and pride lead to the death of her Mother Superion; Vincent's allegiance to the higher power he believed Adriel to be inspired him to kill Shannon; Ava's flight from the Cat's Cradle ends up damning Lilith as she is mortally wounded and taken away by a tarask... All of these events have negative outcomes and heavy repercussions on all characters directly or indirectly involved. Something changes permanently because of them, be it in the world around them or within the characters themselves.

And yet, it would seem that all of these dark deeds not only move the story forwards but might also have overall positive results. We would have had no protagonist without Ava — and she would arguably never have received the halo to begin with had she not been murdered. What's more, on a personal scale, the horrifying crime she suffers is, in the end, the very thing that allows her a second chance in life, a new life.

An act of outside evil permits Ava to grow and develop, shows her a path she would not otherwise have found. Without her own season in some sort of hell, Lilith would not have been able to advance towards other ways of being and understanding beyond her very strict limitations. Vincent and Suzanne would not have embarked on their own journeys of enlightenment without having caused the pain they are responsible for.

Beatrice might have been paying for someone else's mistakes, but she, too, is given the chance to grow into herself through it. The afflictions that torment these characters advance the overall plot, but they also advance them, as individuals, as long as they are willing to learn and keep going despite the calamities large and small that they are faced with. Beatrice keeps going after parental rejection, Mary keeps going after losing Shannon, Jillian keeps going after losing her son (in part through her own actions, adding insult to injury)... Trouble and the adaptation that follows it, if one is open enough to learn from the experience, motivates the characters, propels them forward, teaches them.

The problem of evil has occupied the minds of many a thinker throughout the ages, given how the very existence of it, evil, might call into question that of God (a good, omniscient, omnipotent one, anyway). A common way of justifying suffering (and also God), then, is by claiming, as Saint Augustine, that "God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist".

Now, it would be rather ridiculous to say of Warrior Nun that it follows in Leibniz's footsteps, also because this philosopher, expanding on the augustinian concept, attempted to defend the goodness of a real God with his "best of all possible worlds" while all we have is... Well, whatever/whoever Reya is.

But there seems to be an inclination towards some sort of optimism as a worldview nonetheless.

Betrayals reveal truth and grant knowledge (Vincent's culminates with the coming of Adriel, which allows us to know of the threat of a "Holy War" and thus prepare for it; Kristian's gives Jillian much needed insight, William's lights up the fuse for the fight to be taken more seriously...), crimes committed willingly or not open the way for Ava (Suzanne's killing of her Mother Superion causes the loss of the halo, which is transferred to Shannon, whose death opens the gates for Ava to walk through after being herself murdered by sister Frances)... The magnitude of these positive outcomes is perhaps not "balanced" when compared to the evil that brings them about, but there is still something to take out of the catastrophe.

However tragic the tones of a given event, the show itself appears to shun the predetermination that makes tragedy as a genre; if everything is connected, here it at least appears to not necessarily drag everyone into their horrible dooms.

What's more is that this lurking "optimism" matches really well with our own protagonist's personality.

And it makes perfect sense that Ava would do the best she could with whatever she is given.

Life for her, in the conditions she experienced after the accident, would have been unbearable without some sort of positive outlook on life. However deadpan, the joking and the "obscene gestures" and whatever other forms of goofing around beside Diego are a way of turning a portion of the situation in her own favour. Proverbial eggs have, after all, already been broken right and left — might as well make an omelette of whatever remains.

Humour is just another way of looking at the bright side of something, or, at the every least, of mitigating the utter horror it might bring. If the show allows for moments of lightness, if it lets us laugh, if it takes us through a perilous voyage which still bears ripe, succulent fruit instead of the rot of pessimism and its necessary contempt for humanity, it is because Ava herself sees things in this way. It isn't gratuitous or naïve in this case, but a true survival strategy, especially as it is confronted with the morbidity of Catholicism.

Here is a religion that soothes its faithful with the promise of reward in the afterlife — how else does one charge into battle against the unknown, risking one's own death along with that of one's sisters, without the balm of believing that we shall all meet again eventually, "in this life or the next"? How else does one come to terms with the ugliness and the pain of this existence if not by looking forward to a paradise perfect enough to make all trials and tribulations here worth it?

True nihilism would have annihilated Ava. Her present perspective is what avoided the abyss.

And there is nothing Panglossian to her attitude or what the show might imply by giving us her view on things. This isn't about "the best of all possible worlds", but of making the best of whatever situation we're in, of taking what we have and doing something with it, something good, something of ourselves. It isn't God making good out of evil, but our choices.

Killing innocent people and feeling no remorse will never be the best someone can aspire to do. Sister Frances, cardinal William, Adriel all learn this the hard way.

Those who do their best find that, somehow, they can move on from whatever it was that paralysed them. Ava, most of all, knows what it is to be stuck, frozen in place; she can never be the character who refuses to grow, even through pain, lest she condemns her spirit to the same fate her body is all too familiarised with. Those around her wise enough to let themselves be touched by her, by the dynamic power she carries, walk forth with her and live.

It says very little about "God" that Warrior Nun should adopt its heroine's views and seem "optimistic" as it progresses — but it speaks volumes about the values it presents for pondering, of the inspiration its protagonists provide, and of the multiple reasons why this is a story unlike most others.

[harrysfinelinevol1]

palm trees and kiwis pt.2

harry styles x singer!reader

summary: harry meets you at coachella after watching your set backstage. you both acknowledge the element of lust between you but after acting on it you wonder if it's a bit more than that

warnings: smut

word count: 9.2k

part 1

-

"Where the hell have you been," your brother asked, raising an eyebrow at you as you entered the kitchen.

"Nowhere," you teased as you reached into the fridge to get some yoghurt.

"Liar, that's not your jumper. Also, I refuse to believe you've been at an afterparty since 11 last night until 11 this morning," he retorted and you shrugged.

"These Coachella parties are crazy," you lied and he chuckled. 

"Oh give it up Goose, I'm not dumb. I saw Harry outside the house and I'm not sure that friends kiss each other goodbye," he said and you flushed red. 

"Fuck off," you mumbled as you spooned yoghurt into your mouth.

"I won't pester you, mostly because I don't really want to know what you and Harry got up to, but you look happy with him Goose," he told you but you shook your head at him.

"Don't do that. I'm not going to see him again for a while. I'm not getting into that right now, not before the tour," you trailed off.

"You don't seem that pleased about that," he analysed and you glared at him, annoyed he could read you so well.

"Can we leave it?" you pleaded and he nodded, understanding you didn't want to be pushed on it.

"As long as he treated you right," he said and you nodded, knowing no other man had treated you better than Harry had. 

"Anyway now your interrogation is over, it's my turn," you grinned turning to him and he groaned. "Come on Zep, spill," you demanded brandishing your spoon at him.

"I guess me and Holly are sorta going out," he revealed, blushing madly, and you squealed happily. 

"Oh my god! I'm so happy for you both!" you jumped up to wrap him in a big hug. He laughed and wrapped his arms around you.

"Thanks, Goose. Um, I was going to meet her for lunch today, but I can totally stay if you need any help packing," he told you but you shook your head.

"No, no, go. I'll be absolutely fine, please go have lunch with her," you demanded, even though you were a bit sad you couldn't have your final lunch in California with your brother.

"Thank you. Anyway how... oh my god," he muttered and you pulled back from the hug, seeing his wide eyes.

"What, what's happened?" you looked around confused.

"I'm gonna kill him," he growled out still staring at you. 

"Kill who Zep? You're not making any sense," you asked becoming worried now.

"What has he done to your fucking neck," he seethed and your eyes widened, realising he must have seen the state of your neck when he was hugging you. 

"Ok nice talking to you, bye Zep," you said as you dashed out of the kitchen, face bright red from embarrassment.

"Fucking savages," he shouted back as you closed to door to your room and you giggled as you pressed your back on the door. You were glad you and your brother were open enough to talk to each other about these things but also there was a level that neither of you was willing to cross. You didn't want him to know the intimate details of your sex life and you didn't want to know the intimate details of his. You sighed as you looked around your room, your brother had bought all your stuff from the trailer and dumped it on your bed and you realised you had a lot to pack.

-

four months later

You were lonely. You felt really fucking lonely. You were four months into your European tour and while the shows had been incredible and you were so thankful for everything you were experiencing you couldn't help the fact that you still felt lonely. 

Your brother had made Holly his girlfriend and while you were so happy for the both of them, it did mean he now spent the majority of his time with her instead of hanging out with you. You didn't want that to change, you were so happy your brother had found his person, but it did mean after shows when you went back to your room you were on your own, your only company being the characters in your favourite tv shows. You had a couple of friends in your band, and sometimes your friends from home would come out to see you but most of the time you were on your own. You had been warned before you started this that touring life was lonely but you always thought that as you had your brother you would at least have someone.

During the time you spent alone you thought a lot about Harry. You texted him sometimes and kept up with him but you'd only seen him once again since Coachella when your tour paths happened to cross. You both ended up in London at the same time however you had only been able to see him for one night and you'd had to leave him early because your brother had ended up getting really drunk and Holly had called you to help him get home. You gave him a right bollocking for that, pissed off that you'd had to leave Harry because he'd got so drunk. 

However, you were going into your last week of tour. One more week and you could go back to New York and take a long break. You hadn't taken a proper break since you had started your music career and you were ready for one. You sighed as you sat on the balcony of the hotel you were staying at in Spain, overlooking the city lights. You sipped the glass of wine you had and continued to scribble down lyrics in your notebook. You got lost in your writing before you heard a commotion below you. Peaking over the side of the balcony, you could see a fair few people had gathered at the entrance of the hotel, all holding cameras. Paparazzi. You furrowed your brow, you knew it couldn't be for you, as you had been left alone hours ago and there was no reason for them to come back. Frowning you watched as more people continued to arrive, all moving around with cameras and microphones. Clearly someone important was about to show up. You shouldn't be surprised really, the hotel you were staying at was well known and often had celebrity guests. 

Invested in this now, you continued to watch the crowd, sipping on your wine as you did. Suddenly a big black car turned down the road of the hotel and the paparazzi began to prepare themselves as the car approached. Lots of people were shouting and running about and you felt bad for whoever was in the car. The car pulled up and you waited with bated breath as a path was cleared for whoever was in the car. Suddenly the shouts became louder and your heart stopped when you realised clearly who was in the car.

"HARRY, OVER HERE,"

"HARRY, HOW'S THE TOUR?"

With wide eyes, you watched Harry fucking Styles quickly get out of the car, shielding his face from the flashing lights. Your heart was in your mouth, you couldn't quite believe he was here, in the same hotel. You saw him manage to get through the waves of paparazzi and into the hotel lobby and you sat on your balcony, breathing hard, not really too sure what to do. You didn't know whether to message him as you hadn't really talked to him in a bit or just leave it. You began biting your nails and you pondered your options but eventually just decided to leave it. Your loneliness of the last couple of months had knocked your self-confidence a bit and you began to think the reason you were on your own so much is that people didn't want to spend time with you. So why would someone like Harry be the one to change that. 

Sighing you looked down at your notebook and closed it, the interruption of Harry having ruined your flow. You knew there was a pool in the hotel somewhere so you decided to go for a swim to take your mind off everything. Changing into a dark blue bikini and putting on a robe, you made your way down to the pool, which was thankfully empty due to the late hour. Shedding your robe, you slipped into the cool water and began swimming up and down, ridding the tension you held in your muscles. You didn't hear the door to the pool open behind you as you ducked your head under the water but you were alarmed by the clattering of objects hitting the floor as you came up for air and you whirled around quickly.

"Y/N?" Harry asked in disbelief and you stared back equally as shocked.

"Hi Harry," you breathed back, not quite believing he was here. To be fair, you were in a public area of the hotel that you both were staying at so you should have been less surprised but it still was a shock to be face to face with him again.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked as he picked up the stuff he had dropped and placing it on a lounge chair.

"Just did my penultimate show last night. Got a couple nights here before my last night in Paris," you explained and tried not to stare as he pulled his top over his head, leaving him in a pair of short black swimming trunks. 

"Ah. Same here, the show's tomorrow night. You should come," he offered and your eyes lit up.

"I'll think about it," you said coyly and he smirked, lowering himself into the pool and coming over to you 

"I'll see you there then," he teased and you giggled. He leaned on the pool wall behind you and reached over to tuck a wet strand of hair behind your ear. 

"I missed you," he professed and you chuckled.

"Harry we've only hung out like twice," you shook your head but he shrugged.

"Still missed you. Liked it when we hung out," he continued and you smile fell slightly realising he was being serious. 

"So did I," you admitted and he looked over at you frowning.

"Where's my confident Y/N gone love?" he asked looking over at you.

"Huh? Oh, don't worry, she's just tired at the moment. Tour is long," you explained and he nodded, not entirely convinced.

"You don't seem tired in your shows, you've smashed each and everyone" he complimented.

"You've watched my shows?" It was Harry's turn to look sheepish now.

"Couple," he mumbled and you grinned.

"You watched my shows," you smiled this time and he covered his face.

"Shut up," he laughed and lunged for you. You squeaked and tried to dive under the water to escape his clutch but you felt an arm wrap around your waist and pull you into a hard chest. Suddenly you found yourself face to face with Harry, your lips only inches from his, both of you breathing heavily.

"Y/N."

"H."

"I'm going to kiss you now," he told you and you nodded, desperate to feel his lips against yours again. He crashed his lips into yours hungrily and it felt like you had been fed for the first time after years of starvation. His lips were as soft as you remember them being and you moaned into the kiss as he pulled you in closer. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he groaned as your core brushed against his clothed dick. You could feel him getting harder in his swim shorts, so you moved your hips again to grind on him and he swore loudly. 

"Y/N I will fuck you right here if you keep that up," he growled and you smirked cheekily before doing it again. 

"Fuck," he swore and he dipped his hand into your bikini bottoms, running his fingers through your folds. You cursed loudly as he pushed a finger into you, slowly pumping it in and out to tease you. You tilted your head back and he began to ravish your neck like he had before, leaving love bites as he went. You dug your nails into his back as he pushed in another finger, clinging on for dear life as he used his thumb to rub your clit. 

"H, fuck, please H," you gasped as he continued to pump his fingers into you, pressing his forehead against yours.

"Want d'you want darlin," he smirked as you rolled your hips against his fingers.

"Want you, want you so bad," you gasped as his thumb rubbed your clit faster.

"Y'already have me, love," he responded even though he knew that's not what you meant.

"Want this," you choked out as you reached down into his pants to grab his throbbing cock and he gasped as you did. You whined in frustration as he suddenly removed his fingers from inside you.

"Shush love, you'll get what you want. But maybe not in a place where there are security cameras," He made a fair point. 

You had never got out of a pool faster, Harry hot on your heels, quickly gathering your stuff as you rushed down the hallway to your room. Quickly unlocking it you dragged Harry into the room, making him crash into your chest. You both dropped the stuff you were holding and Harry hoisted you up around his waist, walking you so you were up against the door, kissing you roughly as he did. Your hands were tangled in his hair, pulling it harshly to generate moans from his lips. He scrambled around with the ties of your bikini, managing to get the bottoms and top off quickly while you pushed down his black shorts. Soon you were both naked, needy and craving each other. You groaned as he pressed his tip against your soaked folds and stopped to make sure he had your consent.

"Good?" he asked and you nodded.

"Please H, need you inside me," you begged and in one quick move he thrust into you, your head falling back against the door in response. 

"Missed your cunt," he groaned as he adjusted to your walls tightening around him. "You're irresistible Y/N," he said as he began to slowly thrust into you, taking his time as he stretched you out. As much as you liked going fast, there was something so pleasurable about him moving slowly in and out of you. You felt so stretched and you could appreciate every inch of him. You could feel the ache in your stomach growing and your toes were curling tightly. However, you knew you needed to be on the bed to cum.

"Harry bed please," you managed to get out and he quickly carried you over to the bed, still inside you. He pulled out as he placed you on the bed but as he crawled back over you he bought your left leg with him, hooking it over his shoulder and pushing back into you.

You cursed loudly at this new angle, feeling him hit that sweet spot inside you. It ached slightly but in the best way and you gripped the sheets as Harry began to thrust into you again, harder this time.

"Fuck, you feel so good baby," he moaned as he brushed the hair away from your face, admiring you slightly. He kept eye contact with you as he continued to push into you and you both realised this had become quite intimate. It satisfied this ache in your chest however and you couldn't quite work out why.

"You're so pretty," you said as you admired Harry above you and he groaned when you said that. He leant down again to press a sweet kiss against your lips as his other hand snaked between the two of you to press on your clit, remembering you had liked that last time. You hissed as he did it, the knot in your stomach tightening and you could feel yourself reaching the edge. You let out a strangled cry as your back arched off the bed in pleasure, as your orgasm tore through you, setting every nerve in your body on fire. 

"Jesus Y/N," he cried as your walls clenched tightly around him as you came, sending him closer to the edge himself.

"Wanna see you cum H," you whispered in his ear as he leaned down to kiss your neck again and he moaned into your shoulder as his thrusts became lazier. His moans had become desperate and needy at this point so you tugged on your hair again, knowing it would set him off and it did as he quickly pulled out of you and came onto your stomach, gasping as he did. You held him as he did, still running your hands through his hair to coax him through it and eventually he rolled off you and fell beside you on the bed.

"Sorry love, let me get you a towel," he murmured as he saw the mess he made on you, standing up shakily and grabbing a nearby towel. He gently cleaned you up and helped you stand up so you could go to the toilet.

"Thank you H," you smiled softly at him as you padded into the bathroom. While you were in there, he went about cleaning up your room due to the mess the two of you had made. As he did, he scooped up a black notebook with some clothes. The book fell out of his hands and landed open on a page. Placing the clothes aside, he picked up the notebook and was about to place it down when he saw what you had written on that page. It was a song.

another lonely night

Alone in the dark, hole in my heart, turn on the radio And the words fall out, but they got no place to go Tear in my eye, I drive through the night, And I don't give a fuck if the sun comes up

It's just another

Another day, another lonely night I would do anything to have you by my side Another day, another lonely night Don't wanna throw away another lonely life

You hadn't written much but it almost bought tears to Harry's eyes. He had no idea how someone like you, someone who exuded so much confidence and charmed everyone you met could be feeling so alone and lost. He quickly placed the book down, wishing he had never looked at it, feeling guilty for reading something personal to you. He busied himself fixing up your room and crawled back into the bed, patiently waiting for you to come back out. You emerged soon, still bare and beautiful, and crawled in next to him, snuggling into his side. He wrapped his tattooed arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest and you rested your chin on one of his swallows, tracing the outline of another tattoo with your finger.

"You ok love," he asked tentatively and you nodded.

"I did miss you," you admitted. "I like hanging out with you too," you continued and he smiled, his heart swelling, knowing that you weren't used to expressing your feelings like this. 

"I think we should hang out more," he offered and you agreed but turned to him a bit confused.

"But what are we H? We've properly seen each other three times, two of those times we've fucked but we never really communicate outside of that. We've barely texted in the last four months," you agonised and his brow furrowed. 

"I don't really know. I think we've made a right mess of things," he murmured and you chuckled.

"I think you're right,"

"Wanna start over?" he offered and you looked at him deadpan as you gestured to your naked bodies and he laughed.

"Ok yeah, fair point, we'll start over later," he considered and you snuggled further into his chest. 

"Tell me about you," he murmured and you looked up at him grinning.

"What you wanna know?"

"Hm. Tell me a secret," and you rolled your eyes. 

"That was the most cliche thing I've ever heard! Uh, y/n, tell me a secret love," you imitated his voice and he laughed loudly.

"I do not sound like that,"

"Yes you do," you confirmed and he shook his head. 

"Still waiting on that secret," he pointed out and you huffed.

"Fine. Uh when I was a freshman in high school, I used to ditch class all the time. Like I was never at school. Eventually, I ended up moving town and I guess they must have lost my record or something because at my new school I straight up lied my way out of retaking freshman year. Never did it," you told him, slightly embarrassed but he chuckled.

"That must have taken some serious finesse. Why did you ditch school though? I thought you loved school," he asked.

"I grew to love it. Now all I want to do is learn new things. But uh, when I was a freshman, I think I was just angry. A lot of things happened that year that made me hate the world I was in. Took it out on a lot of things and that included my education. I regret it massively now," you divulged and he sat there, listening and processing your every word. Your stomach was twisting as you opened up to him, remembering a part of your life you didn't like to look back on.

Harry remained silent for a bit and you turned to look at him.

"Sorry, that was really deep," you breathed out, worried you had ruined the flow of conversation.

"No, no, don't apologise. I was just thinking."

"What about?" you asked as you began tracing another tattoo.

"About how much I wish I knew more about you. About how much I want to spend more time with you," he professed and you sat up, eyes boring into his. "And you're right. Up until now, our relationship has been just fucking weird but I really want to get to know you. I want to see you more and I wish I didn't have a month left on tour so I could spend time with you," 

"It's strange," you responded after some time of you both contemplating in silence.

"What is?"

"Well, I feel like I've known you forever. But also, I don't know anything about you at all," you mused.

"I feel like that too. I... Y/N... can I ask you something? It's a bit insane," he chuckled.

"Sure," you responded quickly wanting to know what he was going to say.

"Come on tour with me."

You sat up in shock. 

"What?!"

He simply just smiled at you.

"Come on tour with me. After yours is done of course."

"Harry you're insane," you chuckled incredulously. "I cant... I don't... it doesn't make sense."

"What about it doesn't make sense? I understand if you're too busy or need a rest after your tour and that's completely understandable but I'd love it if you would join me for the last 3 weeks. I'll pay for everything and we can hang out," he explained as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"You want to pay for me to join your tour and have me tag along with you for three weeks so you can just hang out with me? Do you know how insane you sound," and he nodded in response.

"Utterly mad, I know love. I just don't want to go another 4 months without seeing you," he said as you nervously twisted the rings on your fingers. You stayed silent for a bit as you contemplated his offer. It was mad but also you knew you wanted to spend more time with him. You also knew that you were supposed to be taking the next 2 months off, so it wasn't like you had anything else going on anyway. But it was insane. Joining Harry on tour, even though you barely knew him was insane. So why did you want to say yes so badly?

"What's going on in that head?" Harry questioned after you had sat pondering for some time.

"Um... could I give you an answer later?" you hesitantly asked.

"Of course. I would be surprised if you had an answer now. And don't worry if you feel like you can't. I will make time for you when I finish the tour," he promised.

"Thank you,"

"I have an idea though," he started and you rolled your eyes.

"Oh god," and he chuckled at your response.

"It's not as batshit as my last one, don't worry. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me tomorrow. For like the rehearsals and like soundcheck and stuff. Just to get a taste of what it would really be like, then you can decide whether you like it or not. What d'you say?"

"I think I can agree to that idea. Zep will probably be with Holly tomorrow anyway so I'll be free," you rattled off.

"Who's Zep?" Harry asked, thinking it was a peculiar name.

"Oh right, yeah Zep is the nickname for my brother. He calls me Goose," you explain and he chuckled.

"Goose and Zep. What a double act," Harry joked but realised you hadn't really laughed.

"Yeah something like that," you mumbled and he could tell that bringing up your brother had hit a nerve. He wasn't too sure why though.

"You ok?" he worried as you shuffled in his arms a bit. However you had a slapped on a fake grin at this point, not wanting Harry to know that you just missed your brother for your own selfish reasons.

"Yeah fine. I think I'm just quite tired," you said and it wasn't completely a lie. You were exhausted.

"Ok love, let's get some sleep," he whispered and you nodded tiredly.

You both went about getting ready for bed. Your heart warmed when you saw Harry had cleaned your room for you and had neatly folded up his and your clothes.

"I have some of my brother's boxers you could wear to bed if that would make you more comfortable," you offered and he nodded. You pulled an old pair out, one that you wouldn't mind Harry keeping.

"Why do you have your brother's underwear," he asked, amused, as you clambered into bed.

"Men's underwear is extremely comfortable. Ask any girl. I usually wear them to bed," you explained as you reached over to turn off the light on your side.

"I much prefer what you're currently wearing," Harry smirked as he ran his eyes over your figure. It was hot in Spain so you had settled for wearing some panties to bed and nothing else. You giggled and batted his hands away as they went to cup your breasts.

"Stop it! Let me sleep," you chastised him.

"Come here you," he said as he gestured for you to come closer to him. You shuffled up to him and you were about to settle your head on his shoulder when he gently turned you onto your side so he could spoon you. He slipped an arm around your waist and slipped the other one under your head.

"You'll get a dead arm," you warned and you could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

"Stop ruining the cute moment Y/N. I'll be fine even though you have a big head," he teased and you shot up.

"I do not!" you argued back as he tried to guide you back down.

"Shhhhh, just relax," he whispered, gently caressing your head as you huffed but you still settled back into him.

"Goodnight H," you mumbled as you felt your eyes closing, the warmth and comfort provided by Harry making you feel extra drowsy.

"Goodnight love," he said as he pressed a kiss to your head. He was about to drift off when your voice broke the silence.

"Promise you'll still be here in the morning?" you mumbled sleepily and he frowned.

"Of course, I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere," he responded, slightly confused as to why you had said that. He wouldn't dream of leaving you during the night.

So why did you think he would?

-

The next day you both woke up early and decided to sneak out of the hotel for an early morning stroll around the city. You hadn't had an opportunity yet to explore, you were supposed to go with your brother but predictably he forgot and went off with Holly. You felt too anxious to wander around a new city on your own so you stayed behind.

Harry was an excellent tour guide, however, and as it was early there were no tourists and the city was quiet. He pointed out all the sights and explained the history behind them, you clinging to his every word. You loved to learn new things and it helped that Harry was the one explaining it all. Eventually, you both got a bit tired from all the walking and settled down in a nearby cafe, both of you getting absolutely blasted by the sunlight but you couldn't keep the grin off your face.

"Thank you for that, I really wanted to see the city properly," you said as the waiter placed your coffee in front of you.

"It was my pleasure. Did you not have time yesterday to look around?" he asked, knowing your show had been two nights ago now.

"Uh, some plans fell through I guess. But today has thoroughly made up for that so I'm happy," you grinned and he smiled back, even though he was wondering why you were a bit more reserved when you said that. Something was going on and he was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Excited for today?" and you nodded in response, sipping your coffee slowly.

"I am. Excited to see you at work. I will probably be very unhelpful to have around, I will ask about a hundred questions," you warned and he chuckled.

"That's fine. Ask away, I'm happy to provide some answers. As long as it's not about my sex life, I get too many questions about that," and you gave him a look in response.

"Harry. I think I know about your sex life," you teased and he laughed.

"Yeah, you might be right. Anyway hurry up with your coffee, we're gonna be late if you keep sipping it," he chastised cheekily.

"We literally just sat down."

"Yeah and I'm almost finished, time is of the essence."

"It's 9am."

"So?"

It was this humourous bickering back and forth which made being with Harry so enjoyable. You just clicked with him, and you could talk about anything and everything. You could have serious conversations or funny ones and nothing felt awkward between you both.

Eventually, after a lot of whinging from Harry and you annoying him by drinking coffee as slowly as possible, you set off back to the hotel. Harry went back into his own room, and you went about packing a bag full of things for the day. Harry said there would be hours where you wouldn't have much to do, so you bought your book and your laptop to entertain yourself as well as a set of cards, to try and force Harry into playing card games with you. As you pulled on one of Harry's hoodies, which he gave you when he first met you, you heard a knock at the door. Thinking it was Harry you swung it open but you were pleasantly surprised to see your brother.

"Hey Zep," you welcomed as he stepped into the room.

"Hey, Goose. Fuck why does it smell of sex in here," he scrunched up his nose and fake gagged.

"Piss off, it does not," you blushed a deep red.

"It so does and you've gone red. Who's the guy? Also, where are you going?" he rattled off, and you rolled your eyes at your brother's incessant questions.

"Uh, d'you remember Harry," you mumbled and Zep smirked.

"Hm, let me see, do I remember Harry, oh wait, you mean global superstar Harry Styles? Yeah I think I can place him," he teased and you threw a sock at him.

"He's here," you explained and Zep nodded.

"I know. I just ran into him. It doesn't even smell of sex in here I just wanted you to admit it," he snickered and your mouth fell open when you realised you'd been tricked.

"Dickhead," you muttered under your breath as you grabbed your notebook and stuffed it into your bag.

"Where are you going by the way," he asked.

"Nowhere," you tried and he scoffed.

"You're going out with Harry aren't you," he accused and you frowned at his tone.

"Yes, I am. What's got you looking all sour," you pressed, wondering why his mood had shifted.

"I thought we were gonna hang out today. See the sights," he said and you sighed.

"No Zep, we were supposed to do that yesterday. But we didn't and I think we both know why," you uttered and he crossed his arms.

"What's that supposed to mean," he glowered.

"I just find it a bit rich that you're getting annoyed at me for going out with Harry when you ditched me yesterday for Holly," you exhaled even though you felt a bit childish saying it.

"Y/N, what the fuck?! She's my girlfriend. Harry's your... well I don't even know what to label Harry but he certainly isn't your boyfriend," he argued back. "I'm your brother!"

"And I'm your sister!" you snapped. "But I have barely seen you this entire tour. I understand you are with Holly now and I am so happy for you and I understand that things change when people get into relationships, but I have barely fucking seen you. Every day you blow me off for her and I would be fine with it if it was once in a while but pretty much every plan we have made you have then gone and ditched me. I have missed out on seeing almost every place we have gone to because you leave me behind every time. I don't think I've even had a meal with you this entire tour. I've just been fucking alone and it sucked. So now, I'm going to go spend time with someone who actually wants to spend time with me and has taken time out of their day to accommodate me and not leave me waiting in a hotel room, just to send me a text to say they aren't coming. Have a nice day," you raged as you opened your hotel room door and slammed it behind you. You let out a deep breath and even though anger was pumping through your veins you also felt a massive release. You had been needing to say that for a while.

"Uh, Y/N?" you heard a voice beside you and your eyes snapped open, heart falling when you saw Harry standing next to the door.

"How much of that did you hear?" you winced, knowing he'd probably heard the whole thing.

"Uh, most of you yelling," he mumbled and you pressed your face into your hands.

"Fuck," you whispered but you felt Harry's arm loop around your shoulder.

"Come on love, let's get you to the car. We can talk there. Don't worry about it," he said gently as he lead you down the hallway. You followed him, surprising him when you reached up to grab hold of the hand resting on your shoulder and pressed a light kiss to it. Despite the circumstances, he smiled at your sweet action and held you closer to him, feeling a sudden urge to protect you from the sadness you were feeling. He just wanted to see your beautiful smile again, the one that could light up any room.

You both left via the back entrance of the hotel and clambered into a big black car with darkened windows. When you got in, Harry pulled your legs back onto his lap, like he'd done on the drive back to your house after Coachella. You relaxed into him, feeling some of the tension melt away and you felt like you actually wanted to talk to Harry about it.

"I'm sorry you heard that. But I needed to say it. I think I've been building up to that for a while," you muttered and Harry placed a hand under your chin and raised your head to look at him.

"Don't need to apologise love. Just wanna make sure you're ok," he said looking worried and your heart melted a bit.

"I don't know if I'm ok. I don't think I've been feeling ok for a while. I guess you probably heard it all but Zep's been leaving me alone a lot on this tour. Because of his girlfriend. And I know I should be happy for them and I am but I can't help being upset because he keeps ditching me for her and leaving me on my own. I feel so selfish now, I shouldn't have snapped at him," you worried and Harry shook his head.

"You're not selfish for wanting to spend time with your brother love. And by the sounds of it, I think he's pushed the limit on how many times he's left you on your own for his girlfriend. It's understandable if he did it once or twice, but it sounds like it's happening all the time. That's not ok, he should still prioritise you, you're his sister," Harry reassured you and you were so thankful you had him right now.

"It's just... well he's all I've got. We lost our parents at a young age and it's always just been me and him. And then suddenly it was just me. I've been left by a lot of people in my life Harry, and I'm scared it's happening with my brother too," a couple of tears threatened to slide down your face, but you kept them in. You hadn't cried in years.

"I promise you Y/N, your brother will not leave you. He's a massive idiot, yes, but you mean so much to him. I could tell from the first time I talked to him. He holds so much admiration and love for you."

It was all starting to click into place now. Why you had written that sad song in your notebook about being alone, why you had flinched when Harry had referred to you and your brother as a 'double act' and why, just as you were about to fall asleep and when you felt the most vulnerable, you had to check that Harry wouldn't leave you during the night, something he feared had happened to you before. Harry made a vow to himself at that moment to never ever make you fear he was going to leave and to never walk out on you.

"I'm sorry. We were having a really nice morning and were going to have a really nice day and I've bought the mood down significantly," you apologised.

"Stop saying sorry love. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. We will still have a lovely day, I'll make sure of it. First I demand a kiss and then we shall go pretend to rehearse but actually, we will annoy Mitch relentlessly," he professed and you giggled. Harry always knew how to cheer you up.

"You demand a kiss, do you," you smirked and he nodded.

"Yes, it's sorta like monopoly. You know, get 200 to pass go," he joked and you shook your head.

"You're ridiculous, you know that," you rolled your eyes but leant in anyway.

"I know," he whispered as you pressed your lips to his and you shared a slow, gentle kiss. He tangled his hands in your hair to pull you closer and in response, you slipped your tongue into his mouth and moved your hands down his chest towards the waist of his trousers. He groaned and pulled back.

"Y/N, if you keep that up, I won't last the whole day," he lowered his voice so the driver couldn't hear him.

"Who said anything about lasting the whole day," you teased winking at him and settling back into your original spot. Harry cursed under his breath, chest rapidly rising up and down as he realised there was absolutely no way he could get through the whole day without even a taste of you.

-

Despite everything, you were having a pretty good day. When you arrived, Harry introduced you to the band and the crew and you got stuck into rehearsals. Harry patiently answered any questions you had about playing in arenas and the technicalities of it all, as well as questions you had about his music and his creative process. Secretly he was loving that you were so interested and therefore he was very happy to answer all the questions you had. After rehearsals, he'd dragged you to the dressing room and devoured you on the couch. The way your hips were swaying along to his songs when he played them had left him rock hard in his pants. He knew that you were aware of what you were doing and that made him even more frustrated.

That was followed by lunch, where you had a really nice chat with Sarah, Ny Oh and Elin and soon the four of you had formed a little bubble in the corner, giggling and chatting away. Harry was making a big scene over it, huffing loudly and whining away in the corner that you weren't giving him all the attention. You and the girls found it very amusing and kept whispering away, to annoy him even more.

"What have I done," Harry groaned when Mitch came over to him, not even managing to distract Sarah out of the group.

"I have no idea. They're as thick as thieves, I can't get a word in," Mitch sympathised, not missing the way Harry's eyes were glued on Y/N.

"Hm," he agreed absentmindedly, smiling as Y/N laughed loudly at something Sarah had said.

"You like her," Mitch observed from beside Harry.

"Yeah, no shit Mitch. She's literally all I've thought about for the last 4 months," Harry deadpanned. It was true, he did like you. A lot. He hadn't ever felt this way about anyone before. He had had crushes before but nothing quite like this. He had never had anyone make his heart race the way you did and he had never felt so comfortable and happy around anyone else before. He knew he liked you, and he thought you might like him back but he needed to hear it from you.

"Why haven't you done anything about it then. It's obvious she likes you, she has literal hearts in her eyes every time she looks at you," Mitch questioned and Harry shrugged.

"I don't know, we have a really strange relationship. We didn't do anything in the right order," he explained, fiddling with a loose string on his top. "I wanna ask her at the right time."

"So you're ok inviting her on a three-week leg of your tour but you need the courage to ask her if she likes you back. What is this, primary school?" Mitch scoffed and Harry rolled his eyes even though he knew Mitch was right. He knew you hadn't really spent that much time together but he didn't need time to know how he felt about you. He knew he liked you and he just needed to buck up the courage and ask you out.

"Oh look, they've made a rival boys club," Elin teased.

"Can we form an alliance?" Harry tried.

"Hm, tempting offer Mr Styles," you said, repeating the words you had said to him the night you kissed him for the first time. He knew what you were doing and glowered at you.

"Guys please stop eye fucking each other," Ny Oh piped up and you blushed a deep red as Harry turned away, nestling his head into Mitch's shoulder who quickly pushed him off.

"Piss off Harry. Go hide in her shoulder," he groaned as Harry dramatically sighed and pushed himself off the couch and made his way over to you.

"Come see the stage with me," he offered and you nodded, taking his hand to let him pull you up and you set off towards the main stage together. When you got there, you were taken aback by how big the venue was. You had never played anywhere this big before.

"Jesus, this is huge," you said as you wandered to the edge of the stage, sitting down so your feet were dangling over the edge.

"Yeah, I guess it is," he chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

"You're so humble Harry," you joked.

"I try," he walked over to sit next to you. As he did you rested your head on his shoulder, taking in the vast space.

"Y/N?" Harry muttered, sounding quite nervous.

"Yes H," you said back, not really paying much attention.

"We're friends right?" he asked picking nervously at the skin on his fingers and you turned to him, confused.

"Of course! I mean sort of, friends don't really kiss each other the way we do," you teased but he looked deadly serious.

"Y/N... fuck... Uh, I like you. I really, really like you," he stuttered out and your face grew into a massive grin.

"Good. So do I," you responded and he laughed.

"Romantic, Y/N," he said even though he couldn't keep the massive smile off his face. You liked him back. He couldn't believe it.

"You're cute when you blush," you observed as you looked up at his red face and he hid his head in his hands.

"Stopp," he whined and you giggled pulling his hands away from his face.

"Kiss me," you whispered and Harry complied, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on your lips. You leaned into him, hands cupping his cheeks as he pulled your hips closer to his. This kiss felt different to all the other ones you had shared with him. It was more intimate and deep and you could feel Harry expressing his feelings toward you through the kiss. Eventually, he pulled back breathless, gazing into your eyes.

"I am going to kiss you until your sick of it. I am addicted to you," he professed and it was your turn to blush this time.

"Glad you are Styles. Cause you're stuck with me for the next month," you smirked trying to hint at the fact you were going to come on tour with him. His eyes lit up at that point as he realised what you were saying.

"You'll come with me?" he asked incredulously like he had just won the lottery.

"Yeah, I wanna come. I miss you when you're not around and I really like you. I don't wanna throw that away," you confessed and he pulled you into him, pressing a loving kiss to your forehead.

"Y/N, you have no idea what that means to me, thank you," he said, pulling you into a hug. You sat there for a while, savouring the warm feeling you got from being in his arms. There was nothing more comforting.

"Uh Y/N," you heard a voice call and you pulled apart from Harry to see your brother poking his head through the door.

"Zep?" you puzzled as he waved nervously. Harry got up slowly and squeezed your hand.

"I'll let you talk," he offered and walked towards your brother, giving him a warning glare as he passed.

"Hi," you breathed out as he walked over to sit next to you.

"Goose I am so sorry," he started and you breathed out a bit, thinking this conversation was going to be a lot harder.

"After you yelled, I realised what a dick I had been over the last couple of months. Even Holly had a go at me when I told her what you said. You're right, I did flake on you and I was an idiot and I got caught up in this fantasy world with Holly. I can't believe I did that to you, I am so sorry," he apologised, squeezing your hands tightly.

"Thank you for apologising. I'm sorry for shouting. I just felt really alone and like you didn't need me anymore," you explained sadly and he pulled you into a big hug.

"You don't need to apologise. I am so sorry that I made you feel that way. I will always need you Y/N, you're my baby sister and I love you," he told you, hugging you tightly.

"Let's not fight again," you sniffled as you buried your head into his shoulder and he nodded.

"Agreed, it was horrible," he said and pulled back from you, smoothing down your hair as he did.

"So," he said as he raised his eyebrows and you hid your face in your hands.

"No don't interrogate me again," you pleaded and he chuckled.

"It's my job. What's going on?" he asked and you giggled slightly.

"Well he just told me he likes me, like really really likes me," you told your brother, feeling like a schoolgirl again.

"What did you say?"

"I told him I liked him back. I really do like him Zep, he's unlike anyone I've ever met. He's so funny and kind and he makes me feel like a million dollars when I'm with him," you gushed and Zep smiled.

"I can see he makes you really happy Goose and I'm so glad you've found someone like that. But what happens now, I mean we're going back to New York and he's got a month left of his tour," your brother queried and you looked a bit sheepish as you pondered how to tell him you were going on tour with Harry.

"What is it Goose?" your brother raised his eyebrows as you nervously played with your necklace.

"Uh, Harry's asked me to go on tour with him and I said yes," you rushed out and avoided his eye contact. He shifted in front of you and you feared the worst.

"Goose that's so cool!" he exclaimed and you looked up surprised to see him excited.

"You're not mad?" you queried and he shook his head.

"Of course not! I can see how taken you are with him and how taken he is with you. It would be stupid to spend more time apart after you've both figured out how you feel about each other. Plus now you get to go to so many cool places and I know how much you love to travel. I think you're gonna have the time of your life and I couldn't be happier for you," he said and you pulled him back into a hug.

"Thank you," you whispered and he squeezed you tight.

"Love you sis," he muttered.

"Love you too," you replied.

"Now, where is Harry? I'm going to have to go give him the 'dad' speech. You know, treat her well and all that," he teased and you shook your head.

"No Zep, please don't," you begged as he got up and started running to the door. You would be so embarrassed if he talked to Harry.

"Gotta catch me first," he chuckled and bolted out the door. You sprinted after him, cheeks burning red as you chased him through the corridors.

-

Later that day, you sat backstage, swinging your legs along to Harry singing Matilda on stage. This particular song held a deep meaning to you even though Harry didn't know it. You and Zep had lost your dad at a young age and then when you went into high school and Zep had just turned 18, your mum walked out of your life. He became completely responsible for you and he was the only person in your life who really showed you any affection or love for a while. You had no idea where your mum went or why she left but you but it had hurt tremendously at the time, even if she had shown you little to no love when she was around.

Therefore, as you listened to Harry sing Matilda for the first time, you did feel a couple tears slip down your cheeks. You really weren't one for crying and you barely had for years but the song really hit home for you. Zep had seen you were upset and came and settled down behind you, pulling you into his arms. He knew exactly why you were upset and you saw his eyes shining too as you both listened to the song. At one point during the song, Harry looked over and saw the two siblings holding each other. His heart broke for the both of you, it was clear that you had both been through a lot but he was so glad you had made up and had each other. He sent you both a kiss and you grinned widely in response, Zep giving you a squeeze when he saw how soft Harry was with you.

"He's a good man, Goose. He'll be there for you, don't forget that," Zep reminded and you nodded. You had a hard time trusting people and letting them in, always holding a small fear that they would leave. However, you just had a feeling you didn't have to worry about that with Harry. He was an exceptional man.

By the end of the show, however, the tears were forgotten as you danced about to Kiwi, trying to ignore the arousal that had settled in your stomach watching Harry perform this song. If this was what your reaction was to this song, then the next month was going to be very difficult. You cheered loudly as he bowed to the crowd and then your eyes widened as he came running towards you. He scooped you up when he reached you, twirling you around as you giggled loudly and pressed a happy kiss to his lips.

"You were incredible," you raved and he smiled widely.

"Thank you, love. You ok?" he asked as he carefully placed you down, stroking your cheek gently.

"Yes, I'm fine. Your songs are really beautiful H, you made me cry," you said and he sighed.

"You wanna talk about it," he asked gently and you shook your head.

"Not yet," you mumbled and he nodded, happy to wait for you to feel comfortable enough to open up. He would do anything to make you feel good around him.

"I'm so glad you're here," he mumbled pressing his lips to yours again and you sighed, genuinely wondering if you were in heaven. The feeling of him against you was like nothing you had ever experienced and you never wanted it to end.

"I never want to leave," you professed and he kissed you even deeper, holding your face against his.

"Never do, Y/N."

-

PART 2!!! thank you for all the lovely comments on the previous part, i appreciated them so much. sorry, this fic was longer than expected i am really crap at being able to write short fics ahaha.

sloane xx

[bi-kingdom]

Secret Liasons - Maria Hill x OC

A/N: Seriously, PSA to clean your drafts out. I cannot recall what my OC's name is right now but we're going with Alex Stevens or reader - you decide.

Prompt idea: In which Tony Stark hits on Alex as she does a check on the Bridge of the Helicarrier. (Takes place on the helicarrier after the tesseract levels the ground facility in the opening of The Avengers)

Warnings: Tony being cringe

Its just a quick inspection, nothing out of the ordinary but there was a quick notification blurb that popped up on my scans. The only thing making me nervous is the thought of having to walk through Hill's meeting with Fury's new 'Avengers'.

I steel myself. This is my job after all.

I brush past Tony Stark to inspect the source of my alert.

"Oh hi, didn't know they employed anyone besides Jarheads here." Stark smiles, leaning against the metal railing. I quirk my eyebrow at him as I maneuver through Fury's screen. "God I love a woman who can handle a man's equipment." I turn to the room, seeing them all watching our exchange, skating over Hill quickly so I don't erupt in a blush. I grimace and find the culprit - a device, disguised as a bolt, attached where it shouldn't be. I slide it off and turn to Stark as he feigns surprise.

"This equipment's too small to be our's...must be your's." I say, dropping the device into his jacket pocket. The effect is instantaneous, mumbles and groans of 'Stark' erupt as I slide past Hill.

"Stevens." Hill orders, her arm outstretched for my tablet. I hand it over and watch as she reviews the initial security alert for the bridge.

"Stark." Hill scorns, handing me the device back as she joins the thorough chew-out that's coming his way.

I leave their meeting area and make a round through the bridge, stopping after a moment to watch some on screen analyses. There's a bit of an uproar at the Avengers meeting, Stark getting scolded for his attempted hack by Fury himself now. Although I have no doubt he'll try something else.

I linger longer than necessary on Hill, her arms crossed over her chest as she keeps her expression neutral. I admire the way she's pulled her hair back, her bangs sweeping across her forehead. The cut on her face accentuates the height of her cheek bones making her jawline seem even more defined. She keeps drawing me in with her stern gaze and the sheer confidence that radiates from her. But suddenly, she rolls her eyes and she catches sight of me watching her.

I turn away, avoiding those blue eyes that cut down even the most resilient of subordinates. My cheeks are burning as I finish checking in on the techs on the bridge, keeping my back to Hill as I exit from the opposite entrance.

I cringe the entire way back to my lab, shaking my head while I work, reviewing my schedule for the day. Hill shows up on my calendar, an impromptu request but not unexpected since Stark attempted to breach our systems. I huff, annoyed with myself for slipping up and letting my emotions get the best of me especially at work.

She's scheduled in a few minutes so I set about cleaning up my space as best I can, rolling up hardcopies of blueprints out of the way. I'd taken some good natured teasing for using physical blueprints still but with Stark's attempted hack earlier - I'm glad with my choice to do so.

"Stevens, how far did Stark get?" I jump as Hill jumps right into the briefing. I shake my head, avoiding her gaze as I fumble to show her the files that were hacked on the screens. I make it brief, waving my hands to swipe through the files. As soon as she gives me a noise of affirmation I stop the review and return to my work, fully expecting her to leave.

The sound of my lab doors opening and closing don't occur and I finally turn to face her as she unfurls a concept blueprint of mine across my desk.

"Oh, that's just an idea-nothing major-really just an idea-" I mutter, trying to make up an excuse to hide it again. I reach out my hands to put it away but she waves me off.

"You haven't shown me this one yet." She says absentmindedly. I briefly meet her eye as my stomach clenches at the eye contact.

"It still has to go in the computer." I try, watching her take a pencil to make a few notes in the margins.

"It's good."

"That's high praise coming from you." I blush, biting the inside of my lip. I steal a few glances as Hill continues her scribbling her notes "Thank you." I add.

The barest hints of a smile quirks in the corner of Hill's lips. I barely catch it before her usual neutral facade is back in place.

[chairmandetristepoetica]

i've been reading the end of our tethers by alasdair gray because i miss reading and analysing texts, so here's my fever induced think piece about the first story in it — big pockets with buttoned flaps.

to tell a story does not necessarily require "rules" in the traditional sense, but there is a careful technique involved that many nowadays are not able to properly articulate into text. alasdair gray is a storyteller who not only mastered such a craft, but redefined it in ways that i could only dream of comprehending fully.

told from a third person perspective, 2003's big pockets with buttoned flaps tells the story of "a man no longer young" as he strolls an abandoned rail line in glasgow on a september morning. we don't outwardly know much about this man, his appearance is vague (yet vivid) in description, but early on in the narrative we are able to pick up on certain traits and establish a character profile based on the way he moves and acts — ie: self deprecation (calling himself a "boring old fart"), yearning for yesteryear, and perceptive, as he can tell which horns and motors are going which way as he strolls.

gray does an excellent job at "show, don't tell", which i find refreshing. he's not an author from 1789, or any long dead writer, but alive and breathing and still manages to craft a story that has layered narratives that do not outwardly explain intentions or beliefs. this feels almost like a lost art in a world of colleen hoover and booktok virality.

as the story continues, our protagonist runs into two teenage girls hanging underneath a telegraph wire. he then laments on how technology has changed rapidly in recent years, to which one of the girls points out that it was "yonks" ago. (yonks is scottish lingo for ages, essentially. not exact but alas!) this is the second point of establishing the gap between main character and the girls, the first being how gray pointed out intentionally they were noticeably teenagers.

this exchange leads to one of the girls standing up and leaving, declaring the man weird, and he is left alone with her friend. she continues to ignore him outwardly, and he sets a newspaper on the grass and takes a seat beside her. his hand falls on her knee, which unravels another layer not previously shown to this man. to invade the space of a young girl, knowingly, and touching her without consent, the reader finds out that our unsuspecting protagonist may have a darker side than intentionally shown.

it is important to note that these subtle acts established by gray are to offer multiple sides to the protagonist, and he is intentionally given a rapid switch to reflect the sudden onset fear that the teenager may possess when a random old man, seemingly innocent, decides to touch her without warning. the reader is formally invited to go on this journey and experience it in real time with the girl.

the overt revealing of intentions comes from the man's question of if she would "like to 'eff'" with him in exchange for money, and then proceeds to scold her for swearing.

the dichotomy between his request and how he speaks to her is just another example of their generational gap and how uncomfortable the situation truly is. she is young enough he lectures her on the use of the word fuck, but still feels as if he has a right to her body.

going back to the concept of "show, don't tell", Gray's ability to portray this situation without outwardly telling us that it's bad is an art lost in many pieces of modern literature. there is this newfound ideal that characters must be overly sanitised for the masses and that nuance cannot exist — protagonist must be good, antagonist must be bad! let alone a foil be introduced! characters must have single layers, they must be black and white! there is no room for middle ground or analysis.

gray is not writing a pedophile to spread a secret agenda that promotes debouchery and abuse, but he is instead writing a character that is supposed to highlight the normalcy of such an awful act.

the story then progresses when the girl asks for ten pounds first, just to up and abandon the man by calling him weird and old. this leaves our main character to sulk alone on his newspaper, until the first girl returns. she introduces herself as davida, and reveals she was listening in from the bushes. he does not give his name, and davida asks why he was interested in her friend, who we now know as sharon. a bit of back and forth reveals that the man has a fetish for "big pockets with buttoned flaps", due to their military history in contrast to being worn by young, feminine people. (there's layers of misogyny that i can rant about on my own time).

davida laughs about this and tries to pry about his personal life, to no avail. after more conversing and teasing, the pair is interrupted by sharon and two boys. they aim to intimidate him, and one of the boys recognise the man as a former teacher, finally identifying our protagonist as mr mccorquodale.

there is an in text conversation about mccorquodale's attempt to molest two young girls in a short period of time, going so far as to threaten his life, though this is just the "all is lost" beat of this story. using his power over the boys as well as his own military background, he is able to intimidate the group of teens enough to pressure them into spending the night at his house, all of them happening to be wearing big pockets with buttoned flaps, noted by the final sentence in the story.

in an objective lens, this is a "good" ending. main character "won"/protagonist prevails! but, that's the point. gray made this ending to juxtapose the subjective truth that this is a very bleak ending for everyone else in the story.

literature is an art, telling stories is not as easy as "once upon a time, the end!". it takes use of skill to paint techniques and it is slowly being lost. characters are not black and white, narratives can and should be nuanced. complex reading comprehension takes practice, yes, but there is a tragedy in how people refuse to try and hone in their own skills on how to analyse and read media. alasdair gray is not just an author, but he signals as a hopeful source in an otherwise bleak future for media literacy.

[its-tea-time-darling]

Tag Game: fandom edition

thank you for the tag momo @princesimonsblog <3

your name: tea

your first fandom(s): harry potter

your current fandom(s): maze runner, vikings

how did you first get into fandom? fanfic, which my best friend showed me when we were teenagers

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? since i was a teenager. though 'engaging' probably isn't the right word, i was only ever reading, without even commenting or fav-ing for a long, long time i think. i don't think i fully understood it was people just like me who were writing fic.

how often do you read fanfics? not very often. mostly when i read it's fics for events.

top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): teresa, gally and thomas

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out! ALSDKFJALSKDFJJDFK have i ever written fic for a fandom xDD i'll just link to my ao3 page here : Tea_Time_Darling - Works

have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? i have. some sketches that were purely meant to be funny for the glader cup, and one for thomesa week last year just bc i wanted to take the occasion to try it out.

share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: it's not so much a headcanon as it is a canon interpretation, but i feel pretty strongly about the fact that teresa must have lost her memory. the other options just don't make sense if you take the entirety of the series into account. (and it's a pet peeve of mine that i do find it funny when people think the e-mail at the end of tfc proves anything, after ava faked multiple e-mails throughout the books lmao xD)

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? probably the first few minutes of maze runner. i think the setting is pretty powerful.

and finally, what does fandom mean to you?

this question is why it took me quite a while to get to answering these questions, because i thought long and hard about it.

i think fandom, to me, is a place where i don't have to hold back on being intense about things. when i have thoughts and analyses, i can go into them as enthusiastically and fanatically as i want to, and no one's going to frown at me for being "too much". in fact, being like that is what gets people excited in fandoms, so i can be as unhinged as i want to be deep down and it's actually something people can get excited about alongside me.

-

tagging @pathsofoak @crestfallercanyon @hoesaekyoongi (maybe you'll burst out of the earth again for this who knowsss @ulfrsmal @iasconsumesmedia @smalleymcsmall

[mi4012samringwood]

For this exorcize we were tasked with transcribing the different shots within 30 seconds of a film of our choice, Then analyse the reasons why they were presented the way they were. The film I chose was the lighthouse. The scene I chose was a fight between Robert Pattinsons character; Ephraim Winslow, and Willem Dafoe's character; Thomas Wake. as Ephraim is the protagonist we see these events from his perspective, but it quickly becomes clear that he is an unreliable narrator as Thomas begins to transform into other people as a result of Ephraim's increasing insanity.

The first shot is of Ephraim being knocked to the ground them as he gets up his face changes into one of terror as the eerie music intensifies. This shot is filmed at the same Hight as Ephraim is at this time and allows us to feel closer to him. As the music swells the camera zooms steadily into his face whiles at the same time he leans away from whatever he is seeing. this demonstrates the fear he has for what he is seeing and the feeling he cannot escape it, this builds up tension in the viewer as they don't know what he is so afraid of at this time.

This shot reveals what Ephraim is so scared of, it is an apparition of the man Ephraim killed. as oppose to the previse shot where both Ephraim and the camera were moving this shot and its subject are still, minus the heavy breathing. This gives the subject a surreal quality in contrast to the previous shot, clueing the audience into the fact that the man isn't real. it also creates the feeling that the man is an image that is ingrained in Ephraim's guilty conscious more than a physical being. The erratic breathing of the man could be linked to his last encounter with Ephraim where he was drowned by him, as if in Ephraim's mind has still gasping for breath.

The next shot is of Ephraim jumping up and attacking the murdered man. There isn't much to this shot as its mainly used to transition to the next shot, but the thing of note are that the camera still stays close to the subject to the point their partially obscured. This helps to keep us closer to the action and characters. The camera has also returned to being hand held and shakier helping the previous shot stand out in the viewers mind.

This shot like the previse is fast but effective it is shot form Ephraim's point of view and shows the apparition punching him and buy extent the audience in the head. This shot reminds me of one of the key principles of staging a scene which is to always keep the focus of the shot in the centre of the frame. This of course like all rules can be bent or changed but in scenes of fast passed action this helps the viewer understand what is going on. It prevents them from constantly look for the main subject of the scene allowing them to focus on the events taking place. This is something i must keep in mind when choreographing my own scene. this scene is also the start of a repeated shot revers shot style of editing. Its almost jarring to the viewer as this style of editing is often used in conversations. it also demon straights the back and forth flow of Ephraim's emotions as the hallucinations intensify.

After being hit the camera holds still on his face but to the viewers surprise he doesn't attack back. The reason to this becomes clear when a familiar set of feminine hands begin to caress his face. these are the hand of the mermaid that Ephraim's been dreaming about over the duration of his stay at the lighthouse. The camera work demonstrates this tonal shift by once again staying completely still.

The next shot is of the mermaid and in order to demonstrate her beguiling power over Ephraim to the audience the camera slowly moves closer to the mermaid. This is of course designed to unsettle the audience but it also sets us up for a shock.

Sticking with the dream like feel of the previous shots the camera is still, despite this Ephraim begins to lean down out of the shot. him leaning out of shot illustrates to the audience that he is submitting to his lust for the mermaid.

As Ephraim leans down the camera move to behind his head as an evil laugh is heard. Ephraim quickly leans away from this person who is now Tommy but in the Poseidon like for he described in his monologue earlier in the film. Ephraim's head moving out of shot indicates to the viewer that Poseidon has taken over the scene in a very literal manor. the camera also switches back to hand healed and is even out of focus to begin with. the director used this to show how the dreamlike nature of the previous apparition is suddenly shattered.

The last shot I'm covering reverses back to looking up at Ephraim as he is being strangled by Poseidon's tentacles the stillness of the shot contrasts with Ephraim's falling and seems to exarate it.

In conclusion this extract is an example of the subtle storytelling that can be achieved by using the camera effectively.

[solarsonicsoda]

Rebbie's Wrestling Reviews - Shows Reviews

WWE Elimination Chamber 2024: Perth

WWE’s first ever Australian PPV is Elimination Chamber: Perth, the home country of stars such as Grayson Waller, Indi Hartwell, and of course, Rhea Ripley. WWE are on the road to Wrestlemania 40, and the product is getting good reviews. However, the company is rightfully suffering as a result of the recent allegations against Vince McMahon, others within the company, and the set-up itself. There are much better places to educate you than here, I will try and link a thread here if you are unaware. The responses have been varied in terms of appropriateness, and how deeply intrenched these issues are in the company are being more and more revealed by the day. It’s a horrible situation. I’m reviewing these shows purely from a wrestling point of view, and only doing so out of respect for the wrestlers. This isn't a company I can truly endorse right now, not that many companies in life are. But I’m going to analyse the show for the wrestlers sake, so let's go to the pre-show.

Kabuki Warriors (Asuka & Kairi Sane) def. The Way (Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell) for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships in 8:55

This match was pretty short, and not particularly exciting. I wouldn’t say it was bad, because all of these women are beyond-competent wrestlers, but it just wasn't the most wildly unique match. Candice is isolated nicely by the Kabuki Warriors until hometown hero Indi Hartwell can get the hot tag. It was a bit flat for me at home but the crowd enjoyed it. Things are going well for The Way until Kairi stops a rope-walk move, and Candice takes an awesome bump that was a real highlight of this one! Here comes the finish though as the Kabuki Warriors hit the reverse DDT In-Sane Elbow combo that I missed the name of, and that's all she wrote. Just fine this one, and would have liked a bit more speed, grit, and length: all of which I know these women could give if given the time. 

2.5 STARS OUT OF 5

A few points as we head to the main show. First, I hate the change to these logo-based titantrons over the classic showcase-style ones from back in the day. It’s everywhere that does videos, but I must say, WWE’s are easily the worst. They look so lifeless, so much empty space, and sometimes the text just bounces for no reason? Brock’s one was the worst back in the day. Fuck that guy, btw. Secondly, Cole introduces Perth telling us about how it once had a different name and was inhabited by the indigenous people, before being renamed Perth… I don't think that's the fun harmless tidbit you think it is!

Becky Lynch def. Naomi, Tiffany Stratton, Liv Morgan, Raquel Rodriguez, & Bianca Belair in an Elimination Chamber Match for the No. 1 Contendership for the WWE Women’s World Championship in 32:15

In the build-up to this one, Michael Cole twice says “Liv Morgan has renamed this the Elimination Chamber”. This was very funny. I can only assume he tried to say “E-Liv-imation Chamber”. This one started slow but got better with every entrant. Tiffany Stratton came in to a great ovation and brought so much energy, joining Becky and Naomi. Liv brought even more energy. Naomi and Stratton did a fun rolling spot where Naomi used the structure to her advantage. Naomi hits a blockbuster on Liv off of a chamber pod, but Stratton stacks her up after for a three-count. Why she doesn't pin Liv too I don't know. Raquel adds power, swinging Stratton and Liv into the wall. Bianca comes in and brings her brilliance too. We get a Belair/Raquel stand-off, we get an awesome suplex counter from Belair using the wall to turn it into a slingshot tornado DDT. Liv comes off a pod to a senton to Raquel on the top turnbuckle, that’s mental. Flip senton from Stratton off the pod does some damage, but she is hit with a top rope Ob-Liv-ion to be eliminated. MVP. We get a wicked powerbomb into the ring from Raquel to Bianca. Rodriguez is in top, hitting a double powerbomb on Becky and Liv, but Bianca comes in with a big KOD to eliminate Raquel. The only three reasonable winners remain. Bit of a contrived pod spot to Bianca from Liv as the action spills outside. Liv counters a KOD and then a Manhandle Slam, the latter with a Codebreaker, which was sick. She attempts the Ob-Liv-ion but Becky avoids it, then flips out of a KOD. Liv rolls up Bianca for an elimination, but walks into a Manhandle Slam for Becky to win.

This one started quite slow but really ramped up and won me over. It was a spotfest for the majority, but who doesn't like a bit of a spotfest in these special stipulations. Bianca, Liv and Tiffany brought so much to this match and I loved that. Tiffany especially was an MVP, and I’d maybe book her to win the Money in the Bank briefcase this year. Good stuff.

3.5 STARS OUT OF 5

Judgment Day (Damien Priest & Finn Balor w/ Dominik Mysterio) def. New Catch Republic (Tyler Bate & Pete Dunne) for the WWE Undisputed Tag Team Championships in 17:45

Why do they say New Catch Republic like that in their music? That makes this name so much worse. Anyway, this was a pretty cool match. Love seeing Bate & Dunne back together, and against good opponents. Lots of cool double team action from them, and Dominik got some mad heat here. The Birminghammer is one of the best move names I’ve ever heard. This was definitely a showcase for NCR but the finish, as a result, comes out of nowhere, with a double chokeslam/Coup de Grace giving Judgment Day the win. Fun match though!

3.5 STARS OUT OF 5

We have The Grayson Waller Effect with guests Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins. Austin Theory goes for some random heat on Australia then just stands there. Waller does a shoey, then sucks up to The Bloodline. Rollins says he’ll be cleared soon. Cody says he wants Rock one-on-one and Rollins backs him up. Theory gets on the mic and does bad Rock impressions to get mad at Cody. Seth eggs him on so he can throw him around, then Cody Cutter, then a Rollins Stomp. Waller lets this happen because even he doesn't really like Theory. Well that was extremely exciting, but admittedly you had to have 3 of these four on the show somewhere. 

Drew McIntyre def. LA Knight, Kevin Owens, Bobby Lashley, Randy Orton, & Logan Paul in an Elimination Chamber for the No. 1 Contendership to the World Heavyweight Championship in 36:53

Knight and McIntyre start before Owens joins. Cool codebreaker/senton from Owens to both men. Also McIntyre did this ridiculous crossbody to Owens and Knight from the middle rope. Lashley joins and does his thing. Orton is number five and does his thing too. Logan enters and Owens is waiting for him. Lashley eventually sends Owens and Paul through the pods. That was pretty gnarly! A pair of Claymores with a random LA Knight attack in the middle eliminates Lashley. Knight hits a jump-up superplex on Drew, then BFTs to Drew and Orton. But Styles then attacks Knight with a chair and a Styles Clash on the chair! Sadly looks like Knight isn't taking the US Title at Mania… Drew pins Knight. Owens takes on the lot of them until a nasty knees-up counter from Drew to a Swanton. KO pop-ups Drew and stunners Paul, but ends up taking an RKO to be eliminated. Paul hits a big crossbody onto Drew from the top of the pod! We get a close-up of Paul preparing his brass knuckles, but RKO OUT OF NOWHERE! Randy pins Paul. I’ve enjoyed the seriousness to win this one, but I’d also love more spots. Orton is super injured, and Drew stands over him, but RKO! BUT THEN PAUL HITS ORTON WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES! Drew drapes and arm over and wins.

It was pretty good, good intensity, but I don't know, it didn't fully click with me. Drew is the right winner and it's pretty obvious. 

3 STARS OUT OF 5

Rhea Ripley def. Nia Jax for the WWE Women’s World Championship in 14:25

Who could ever win this one? Really not too much interesting to this one. Ripley is over, Rhea is cool, Jax is not really very good. Ripley had to main event but I wish she had a more technically sound opponent. There's an awkward elbow drop through the announce table after a Samoan Drop leaves Rhea on it. Jax stands precariously on a chair and gets no air. There was also a “My hole” chant, and I thought that was funny even if that joke was unfunny within a day of happening the first time. Cool superplex tees Ripley up for the win with a Riptide. It was nice seeing Rhea celebrate with her family, she is very cool. Match wasn't though, but is salvaged by the framing and moment of it all.

2 STARS OUT OF 5

Overall, I thought this show was decent. The way WWE lay out their PPVs is completely ridiculous, as it took 4 hours to watch this show live, with so much nothing. However, the matches were mainly good, but nothing truly great. The Women's Elimination Chamber was certainly the highlight, with the slog of a main event only being helped by the moment of Rhea Ripley in front of her home country crowd. Still, four matches on the main card is ridiculous even with the longer chamber matches, so this show also has that working against it. I'm settling on 3 stars out of 5 for this one.

[h3rmess]

WHERE OUR BLUE IS

Written by @h3rmess ✰

Masterlist

S1 : Chapter 6 - The Boy with Ten Shadows ☆

༄ ༄ ༄

Waking up the next morning, the view of the vibrant flora outside made me feel inspired to do my very best that day. The various colours stood out, each individual plant making their own statement. I wanted to make a statement. I wanted to show the world how powerful I truly am.

Feeling energized, I got out of bed and did my typical morning routine; I showered, got dressed into my new uniform, and did my hair. My hair sat in its usual manner, my bangs covering my forehead as the rest of my hair grazed my shoulders. I grabbed a breakfast bar from a box I had bought the day before and ate it as I left my dorm. I was greeted by Kugisaki, who gave me a smile.

"Good morning, Okumoto!" She waved at me as I waved back, offering a slightly awkward smile.

"Good morning, Kugisaki." I responded softly as she handed me a carton of strawberry milk.

"This is my favourite flavour." I inspected it joyfully. "Thank you."

"I asked Itadori, actually. But no problem! If we're going to be friends, we need to know these things about each other."

"Yeah, I guess we do if we're friends."

"Yes! We have made progress!" Nobara celebrated under her breath, looking excited. "Let's go!" She latched on to my left arm as we walked towards the field.

We went into the changing rooms and changed into our usual gym wear. I walked out of the changing room and went to sit next to Nobara on the bleachers. Gojo stood in front of us all on the field, getting ready to make an announcement.

"Okay, everybody! The sister school exchange event is coming up in a few weeks. I want to make sure that we, as Jujutsu Tech, win against the Kyoto students. We will be undergoing hard-core training. Don't hold back at all. Use all your power. The only rule is that you can't kill anyone, got it?" He announced as we all nodded.

"Great! Now, like I said yesterday, I really want to see that fight between Megumi and Seiko. I believe that with your prior training, you should be able to take on Megumi, Seiko. Give it your best!" Gojo finished as I got up from my seat. Nobara and Maki cheered me on as I stepped down the stairs and onto the pitch. I removed my hoodie, revealing a fanny-pack that sat over my right shoulder and under my left arm.

"What's the bag for?" Yuuji asked from the bleachers. I gave him a sly smirk, moving my eyes to look at him.

"You'll see." I responded.

Megumi's POV

Okumoto opened her bag and removed... two poker tokens? I looked at her, confused as she clutched them in her hand and got into a fighting stance. I readied myself to summon my shikigami.

"Ready, set, fight!" Gojo announced. I summoned Gama and Nue, running towards Okumoto. She stood, pointing her finger out like a gun once again and pointing it towards me. I closed my eyes as she shot a high-pressure beam between my eyebrows. The pressure made me feel dizzy for a moment, making me lose focus. She appeared behind me, completely throwing me off. I pondered how that was possible as she took a hit, which knocked me to the ground.

She appeared in front of me again, and I figured she must be using teleportation of some sort. I analysed her moves, getting Nue to cover for me. Nue swooped over her, knocking her over as I ran in to attack.

I was about to land a punch, but she rolled over to dodge my attack. She's so fast! She got up, running towards me with her right hand raised to the sky. "Configuration!" She chanted, a staff similar to Maki's appearing in her hand.

The air felt less dense as she came to attack me. Could she have done something to the atmosphere? It couldn't be teleportation... I saw the staff being formed in her hand. She lunged to attack me, striking me repeatedly. Not only was she fast, but she was very strong. Her hits left an impact like no other I had received. It was as if the surface of my skin had become numbed, and she was hitting me from the inside.

She kept attacking until Gama's tongue caught her arm, restraining her momentarily. She broke free of its hold easily as I regained my balance, positioning myself to defend. I summoned the fleeing hares. This would help me to create an opening, I thought.

The rabbits surrounded her within and instant as I prepared to attack. I felt a long object hit the artery in my neck. I turned around to see Okumoto, standing behind me with a smirk. She attacked me once more, knocking me to the ground in ease.

As a final blow, her staff plummeted down to my chest as if she were stabbing me. She stood like Neil Armstrong, as if she had conquered the world. The staff she had disappeared before my eyes, each particle floating away. What is her cursed technique?

She held her hand out, offering to help me up. I flushed in embarrassment as I took her hand. Once I had stood up, Okumoto shook my hand and bowed.

"Good fight, Fushiguro. You use the Ten Shadows technique, right?" She inquired as I nodded in response.

"I still can't figure out your cursed technique..." I responded inquisitively.

"I wouldn't expect you to know what it is. It went extinct two centuries ago. I am the embodiment of a miracle, or so they say." She responded, walking over to Gojo and the other students.

"Amazing fighting you two!" Gojo exclaimed, jumping up suddenly. "Seiko, you used your technique amazingly!"

She bowed as she replied, "Thank you. I couldn't use all aspects on Fushiguro since they can be dangerous, but you'll definitely see them in battle."

"Seiko, what is your cursed technique?" Yuuji asked her as she stood with her hands on her hips.

"Has anyone figured it out?" She asked around, everyone remaining silent.

"Her cursed technique is something unique to the Okumoto family's lineage." Gojo started. " In the 19th century, there was a special-grade sorcerer called Okumoto Gekido. His cursed technique consisted of atom manipulation, otherwise known as illusionary reality."

"Basically, I can conjure existing atoms together to create new objects. That why the weapons I use come out of nowhere, even though they're coming from somewhere." She explained as everything began to make sense.

"If that's so..." I started, "then how did you basically teleport behind me."

"That another part of my cursed technique. I have learnt so much about it that I can communicate with the earth and the space around it down to an atomic level." She continued.

"So what you're referring to is the manipulation of the space within earth. As the law of conservation states, energy can not be created or destroyed, only transferred, so everything remains within balance as Seiko uses her cursed technique. By using up free atoms within the earth's atmosphere, Seiko is able to make portals using the tokens she carries. They are imbued with high levels of cursed energy to make them as effective as possible during battle." Gojo added, "This level of understanding is extremely rare for someone of your age. You must be really smart."

She looked down slightly, thanking Gojo for the compliment.

"Although, I'm sure there is another step you could take to reach the full potential of your power..." He smirked to himself.

"You'll have to figure it out yourself. That's what happened to me, after all. On the verge of death, you grasp the true essence of cursed energy!"

༄                                      ༄                                  ༄

TAGS ~

@nyxlai @inlovewithlondonn @sad-darksoul @eternalalmondd @httpstoyosi @vivi-loves-penguins

[sketchguk]

Soonyoung doodling and trying to keep himself busy is so cute 😭 He just wants to me near her even if they don't talk ?????? That's true love

Is there anything about mc that genuinely annoys soonyoung?

And also What thing do you think they fight most about?

Soonyoung is nothing if not a sweetheart !!! I saw a tiktok this morning that showed a bunch of clips of Youngji's and Soonyoung's relationship over time. She's a huge carat, and she adores him so much. I thought it was extremely cute how Soonyoung was always so attentive to her in a way that she feels valued and important on the set !! (knowing her personality, she was probably freaking out ahaha). He was so playful when they shot some MV scenes, just constantly poking his head into her camera view ahah. It was adorable, and I just thought this is the exactly how he would be with ravenclaw mc :-(

Hmm for the things that annoy Soonyoung, the serious stuff is probably a given. He doesn't like it when she's focused on her studies and pays him no attention. He gets annoyed when she brings up Mingyu in passing. As a matter of fact, she can never compliment another man LOL. If she talks about another guy's skill or talent, he's going to show her that he can do it better. He'll see her eyes widen at Joshua when he does a handstand, so he spends an hour of his night trying to do the same thing LOL. He'll show her tomorrow and surely she will also be impressed !!!

If she even so mentions that someone else is handsome, Soonyoung's gonna ask if he's more handsome. He doesn't get annoyed in the sense that he's mad, but moreso a little petty !!!

I was wondering if there are some quirks that might bother him, but they're probably really endearing LOL. When you have a crush on someone, all their little habits end up being the things you like the most about them, ya feel? She's probably the type to talk a lot during movies, but HE LIKES HEARING HER TALK !!! He can't even be annoyed by that. She must have some really great analyses too, and Soonyoung would never have thought about it on his own. So he ends up entertaining her thoughts !!!

Or maybe she leaves her scrunchies behind on accident (more often than she would care to admit). He loves that habit/quirk because he gets to keep it on his wrist as a reminder of her !! And if she says that she doesn't have a hair tie during lunch, Soonyoung will be the one to save her !!!

He just loves her unconditionally ok ?? :-((

I would think that Soonyoung and mc get into (serious) fights over his clinginess. She just likes a little bit of freedom and independence !!! Orrrr they would argue about how mc doesn't have a lot of time for Soonyoung because she spreads herself thin with all of her responsibilities. But Soonyoung is really just worried about her mental health !! He wants her to take care of herself, but she can't when there's always something else on her mind. If he could take away any of her discomfort, he definitely would

Omg what do you think Soonyoung's love language would be btw??? Because I can see him as an 'acts of service' kinda dude. He's also a huge lover !!!! So I wouldn't be surprised if it was split evenly amongst all categories

If they were to fight about non-serious stuff, mc would probably hate how he's such a messy eater LOL. He is literally a child in a grown man's body (aside from the huge appetite). She's always wiping his face because he has crumbs all over his chin !!! Sometimes on his cheeks too !!! (But she does find it really cute). Soonyoung would probably also pick a fight with her when she puts her cold hands on his skin. I do it all the time with my mom and my friends because it's kinda funny to get a reaction out of them LOL. He doesn't like the cold, and he'd probably hiss for a moment. But seconds later, he's reaching for her hand so he could keep her warm (even if he just stuffs their hands together in his jacket pocket).

p.s. i got your other message !! were you hoping that I write out a scene that's fully fleshed out ?? because i typically write everything as a description or a headcanon (i'm awful, I know aha). But I got the impression that you wanted to read a drabble of some sort !! Let me know because I might try to find some time this weekend to write it out if that's what you want <3

[jannasophia]

Composition Quick Notes: "A Reading from Homer by Lawrence Alma-Tadema (1885)"

Part of Cynthia Sheppard's SmArt School class was to analyse multi-figure paintings and to figure out what made the character in the focal point stand out.

So, who is the focal character? The guy on the right, obviously. But why?

For starters, he's clearly set apart from the others by, well, removing him from the group:

And look, the cheeky bastard even put an actual line between the lecturer and his audience!

Next up is contrast:

Here I compared the values of the other character's faces to the values in the lecturer's face and it shows a much wider range - and therefore bigger contrast. Naturally our eyes are drawn to contrasts so that tells us where to look and which part is most interesting.

Now on to the fun part - action lines!

See how all the important lines point towards him or his face? Not only the architecture supports his position as the focal character, even the other people are placed and curved so that your eye is gently led towards the lecturer. And speaking of eyes - there's nothing more powerful than having someone look at a thing to direct attention to it 👀

Direction is a very important tool to create emotion. See the woman leaning back and the man on the floor leaning forwards while the lecturer is leaning towards them? What does that tell us, even if we don't know the title of the painting? He must be telling an engaging story for sure! Maybe he's at a part that's especially thrilling, which causes the woman to shrink back and grip her companion's hand for comfort and which makes the man lean in because he wants to know how the story ends.

And how do we know it's all about speech & the story? The line, the top of the marble wall literally leads directly to the lecturer's mouth. So cool, what the hell.

[reginarubie]

I remember when fans accused Sansa for breaking the oath in s8 by disclosing Jon's parentage. But what about Jon? He told them he is not Ned's son which means that he can't control North, it's Bran. He demands North army to follow him without telling truth. He didn't even wait to know if the armies was ready to fight another war. If he wanted to keep his identity secret, then he should ask Starks help and their opinions on how to handle this. He should share everything with them.

Ciao anon!,

So, I'm going to rant on this, because this makes me really frustrated!

I had not yet joined Tumblr when the last season of the show aired, so I wasn't actually aware of most of this while it happened (suffice to say that when I posted my first Jonsa fic, featuring unrequited Jon/Daenerys I got completely thrown under the bus of the whole ship-war over Jonsa and Jonerys of which I was completely unaware of, at the time — that was how much out of the loop I was) but after I joined Tumblr I saw many times this argument, which is void and untrue.

Let's start by the premise that the show was so rushed that we didn't even get the whole scene of Jon telling to Sansa and Arya the truth about his heritage; which bad choice, but I digress.

Let's analyse the scene: It starts (after the war council scene) with the Starklings fighting over Daenerys; then Jon tells his sisters he's not a Stark (to which both Arya and Sansa are like «Jon, enough, you're Ned Stark's child and our brother, shut the hell up about it already») and he is very touched, but also very in despair over it, at which point Bran (knowing Jon's plight over Daenerys having told him to not tell it to anyone, not even Arya and Sansa) tells Jon it's his choice to tell 'em or not and Jon tells his sisters/cousins, before the Heart Tree (in a very private and religious setting for him), that he must tell them something and that before that he wants them to swear not to share it with anyone. At which point Arya is like “what it is?” but Jon is adamant and tells them he won't tell 'em unless they swear first and Arya is like “okay, whateva, I swear” instead Sansa (who is the political mastermind ) asks «how can I swear to keep a secret if I don't what that is?»and Jon is like «because we are family» appealing to her sense of familial love and duty to make her swear and in end she relents as well. So the scene goes like this:

[WARNING: there will be sarcastic paraphrase ahead; it is not meant to upset and insult anyone — also between *...* you will find the sarcastic thoughts]

Sansa and Arya: we don't like and don't trust Daenerys

meanwhile Bran is just lurking behind them unbothered

Jon: I made a promise, we needed her she helped us, now it's our turn. Period.

Arya: yeah whatever, we're family and family comes first, we're telling you we don't trust her to be a good queen, listen to us. We're the last of the Starks because we trusted too much, listen to me.

Jon: I'm not a Stark

Sansa and Arya: oh fuck off, stop brooding about this already. You're a Stark/you're my brother etcetera.

Jon *broodingly, despairingly sighs*

Bran *this little shit*: the choice is yours.

Jon (to Arya and Sansa): I need to tell you something, but you have to swear you won't tell another soul (this thing I have to tell you).

Arya and Sansa look at each other: say what?

Jon: You swear, or I ain't telling ye.

Sansa: How can I keep a secret if I don't know what that is?

Jon: because we're family.

And this is great, because Jon knows exactly what he is doing by appeasing to both Arya and Sansa's sense of duty and familial love toward him. That's very sly and book canon of him, and I love it, though while lacking the inner dialogue we don't see how his mind is working and show Jon is duller than book Jon who is a treat anyway.

Jon *looks at Arya very hard*

Arya: fine whatever, if it's so important to you, I swear. Now tell me.

— which perfectly in character with beginning of the book Arya and Jon as they are told to be this unyielding duo who trust each other implicitly and can almost read each other's mind.

Jon *looks pointedly and pleadingly at Sansa*: kicked puppy looks intesifies.

Sansa *not the kicked puppy look*: I swear it.

Jon *le sigh 2.0*, looks at Bran: tell them

Bran, suddenly cornered, *this little shit, I thought you were going to tell them*: off screen proceeds to tell Sansa and Arya

You can find the scene in questions (minus my sarcastic commentary) here.

This is great because Jon, the same Jon who is politically savvy (at least in the book), enough to manoeuvre people to do his bidding and sass 'em (I mean boy managed to convince an iron bank mediator to give them a loan while half-drunk and 17, but I digress) makes his sisters (one of whom is at least as politically savvy than him) swear to keep a secret he wants to tell them and then basically goes and tells someone else to tell them.

If we have to speak precisely Sansa and Arya swore to keep the secret Jon told them, but Jon told them no secret, as it was Bran who told them and they did not swear to keep the secret Bran would tell them.

And I love this, because the biggest show flaw (the lack of inner dialogue) will be mended in the books, and if Jon actually does it purposefully (like book Jon would do— and that's the hill I'll be dying on) it will be just perfect. Because it means Jon is giving them the political space to out-manoeuvre everyone with this secret, to keep everyone of 'em safe (which is what Sansa does).

So, point a) Sansa technically isn't an oathbreaker. Because she swore to keep the secret Jon would tell her, but he told her nothing and made Bran tell her instead. And it is highly probable that was Jon's goal all along, btw.

Pertaining Jon not telling the truth to the northern lords, I think that may change in the books, as we can see in the show that the truth about his parentage is eating him from the inside (poor baby), and I think in the books it may be influenced by when and how Jon actually finds out about his real parentage — like...what is the purpose of having Howland Reed know it and have some lords (who knows Robb's will) being in Greywater's Watch with him if he isn't the one breaking the news to Jon?, the show gave that duty to Bran and Sam but it is completely possible it will happen differently in the books and that Jon might use his parentage reveal politically to free the North from the South or try something akin to that.

What more, when showJon told Sansa, in s6 “we need to trust each other” we all thought “fine, no more secrets between all the Starks, they're going to work like a team” instead Jon went and either stupidly fell in love with a tyrant, conqueror with a penchant for burning people alive (something Jon hates with passion — feel my incredulity at that possibility) or he went all undercover-ninja on her ass (which is the most probable outcome in the books) and told no one.

Now, if Jon was aware of his parentage before meeting Daenerys I feel like he would keep that notion very close to his heart and cleverly would wait and gauge her disposition before choosing to tell her or not. Seen who she actually is — my bad what she actually is (Jon's words, not mine) — he would be probably forced to go all political on her, to manipulate her (and we know book Jon is perfectly able to do it and has the guts to actually do it to the very end) and would keep the parentage a little known deal to use it later to free the North from his pledge to her (the only way to convince her to come North and fight the Great War).

I mean, in the show Jon told Sansa via raven that he had bent the knee to Daenerys, but signed himself not as Jon Snow, King in the North (as he should have, as it would've been his last kingly decree which would have lawfully proved his effectual pledge to Daenerys) but as Jon Snow, Warden of the North; which, actually leaves them political room to outmanoeuvre Daenerys because it wasn't a king who bent the knee legally, but a Warden of the North. Anyway I digress.

I think the only reason bookJon would keep such a secret from his family, might be because he means to keep 'em safe, but if I am right and in the books Jon does something similar to the whole “swear not to tell a soul what I am about to tell you — Bran, you tell 'em” it means that he is making good on his promise of trusting each other and protecting each other. The same way Ned did not tell Cat, to keep her safe in case it got out because she could not have known if he hadn't told her, and to keep Jon safe because he can't trust Cat won't use his secret to save her children, because she loves her children something fierce and he cannot risk Jon's life; Jon might not tell Arya and Sansa so that they cannot be hurt because of it, since they were unaware of it.

Also, may I point out something; for some reason I can't seem to find it but I had once made a post about how people had double standards, they perceived Daenerys as an ambitious woman fighting for her birthright (which she doesn't have but I digress) when she tells Jon to never tell anyone the truth about him so that they don't know the reality of his claim to the Iron throne and she can keep it instead without even asking him if he wanted it in any way; while Sansa was power-hungry and cunning because she apparently framed Jon by telling his secret to get the North (no matter that she fought to have him back North as king and was sorry it didn't happen) or because she looked upset when Jon was named king over her .

The point I was making was this:

Daenerys and Sansa found themselves in the same situation.

Daenerys (who had believed to be, after Viserys' death to be the Targaryen heir to the Iron throne) finds out she has a male relation who has a better claim than hers (purely because he is a male and the son of the previous heir, Rhaegar) the same way Sansa (who believed to be, after Robb's death and Bran and Rickon's death, the heir to Winterfell and its rightful lady — like Jon points out as well both in the books and in the show) after having acted the facto lady regent of the North finds out her true born brother (younger than her — but male which is the only reason why he would come before her in the line to Winterfell and the throne) Bran is alive and back home; guess which one of the ladies acts power-hungry and which one acts selflessly?

I think we can all agree both Daenerys and Sansa have suffered while being powerless — both have gained power (Daenerys as khaleesi and queen; Sansa as lady of Winterfell and princess in the North) and feel safe because now they can wield it do their self-perceived duties (be the rightful queen of 7K for Daenerys and being the lady of Winterfell for Sansa). And both Jon to Daenerys and Bran to Sansa have the lawful right to usurp them in what they fought to gain because Jon is the real Targaryen heir (if he is true born in the books as he was in the show — tho in the books that part could be given to Aegon, but I digress) and Bran is the rightful lord of Winterfell over Sansa as he is male and thus comes before her in line.

People claimed Daenerys was simply acting woke and fighting for the right to pursue her ambition and that's because she is an ambitious woman who bled for the Iron throne (who killed for the Iron throne) while Sansa was power-hungry because apparently she looked upset when Jon was named king over her and spoke against him during the councils and that she has used his secret to frame him and take the northern crown from him.

My point was, put in the same identical situation Daenerys demanded Jon didn't tell anyone — not even his family — about the truth of his parentage so that no one may know his claim is better than hers to the Iron throne without once asking if he wants it (thus completely ignoring as lesser than her own, his possible ambition) or offering to marry him and make him her consort (she wants him to be her subject and partner, but not as partner, she wants him to replace Daario and become her lover and her commander and supporter, but without him questioning her) and share power; while Sansa, first thing she does, is offering her lordship over Winterfell to Bran as he is Ned Stark true born son and thus the rightful lord of Winterfell, willingly offering to let go of that degree of power and safety she had gained. Yet somehow Daenerys is a woke ambitious queen and Sansa is a clever, power-hungry snake.

May I also point out that people later accused Sansa about being power-hungry because she didn't get Jon to remain king in the North and used it to become Queen in the North instead — basically begrudging her for having succeeded where their fav (Daenerys) had failed by doing the very same thing Daenerys had tried to do, but having success in obtaining it. But if Daenerys did it, it was okay because Jon had no right to try and usurp the throne from Dany who had bled for it; as if Sansa has not bled for the northern independence and crown since book one.

Both women bled (for the Iron throne and the North); both women morally should not have to bend to others just because they would be preferred because they are men (though that is the way of the world in which they are put), so either, by my opinion, they are both power-hungry and only one succeeded or both are ambitious and only one succeeded. Which is a long ass digression.

Now, returning to Jon and Sansa and rulership over the North. Jon self-admittedly says this to Sansa “The knights of the Vale won the battle (of bastards)” and “they rode North for you” and he also leaves to her the lords' chambers which should be of the male, instead he names her lady of Winterfell (over himself — which recalls to Jon telling Stannis that Winterfell belongs to Sansa when he refuses it); yet, when the lords name him king (knowing it was Sansa who won them back Winterfell and is the true born daughter of Ned Stark) he does not even protest, he does not ask Sansa if she wants it. He just takes it. Sansa smiles to him encouragingly and does not begrudge him that — there is no struggle for power there; and Sansa herself tells Jon that her questioning him is because she trusts him enough that she can speak her mind freely differently as when she was under Joffrey's thumb.

So, if Daenerys has a right to begrudge Jon his claim and ask him not to tell anyone, not even his family; why can't Sansa be (if she was) upset she was overlooked again, even after she bled for the North and essentially took it back and saved Jon? Tho I always said she looks more concerned over LF and his schemes than upset at Jon anyway.

Why don't people ever point out that Jon is essentially usurping Sansa?, and later Bran when he returns home and does not offer to him Wardenship over the North as the only true born son of Ned Stark?

About Jon not waiting to know if the troops were alright, I think that was because Jon needed to satisfy Daenerys thirst for power, and he wanted her and her dragon and the threat they posed away from Winterfell as soon as possible. He needed to get her out of the North, so he would rather march ahead and help her take back the Iron throne, getting her away from the North then wait and just stand idly while the tension between Sansa and Daenerys grows and threatens to explode. But that might change in the books, we shall see.

Tho I agree with you, he should have told the truth to his family and worked as a team with them, though he might have done so, only undercover even in the show and the books will provide the inner dialogue needed to prove it. Also him not telling the truth might have been a simplification, it's completely possible that the norther lords already knows, or some of them do; and the Manderlys know about Rickon, the true king as a true born son he comes before Jon even with Robb's decree. So we shall see how that evolves in the book, I think.

People just like to begrudge and accuse Sansa of things she might have thought of doing without any proof and simply ignore other characters (Jon and Daenerys) doing the same, or justify it by them being ambitious. If so, why can't Sansa be ambitious, but she has to be a power-hungry snake? The truth is they hate that she succeeded in where others they deem more worthy failed and they are upset over it, so they try their best to disparge Sansa and her behaviour.

Btw, I feel that if Sansa even had sworn and Jon had been the one to tell them, and she still told the truth, she did so because she was afraid for Jon's life and she believed in him "what if there's someone else? someone better”; she is fighting for Jon, because she believes in him and loves him (“she (Sansa) would rather see me gone and you on the Iron throne” — Daenerys T.) even when that means foresaking her honour and staining her name and her soul with oathbreaking; another parallel with Ned. And I would love her all the more for it.

Hope you enjoyed the read!, sorry for the sarcasm and frustration you can certainly feel in my words over the matter. Thank you for the ask and I wish you a very nice day!

[fanficsrusz]

Lure Of The Maw Chapter Two - Henry Cavill Pirate AU

Warnings: Eventual Smut. Kidnapping. Mentions of physical harm. Men being Pervy. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN SOCIAL MEDIA CONSUMPTION. NOT ME. THEREFORE I DO NOT ACCEPT ANY RESPONSIBILITY IF YOU GET TRIGGERED FROM THIS POINT ON. If you read and you feel like I’ve missed a T/W then please let me know nicely and I will adjust ❤️.

Pairing: Y/n x Pirate Henry cavill

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: Y/n’s sheltered life comes crashing down when pirates use her to get what they want.

A/n; I take way to long to update anything but here we are 😂. I still have no idea what I want to happen do enjoy the nonsense until i finally get a proper plot.

Chapter one

Sleep came like the falling of an axe. I knew it must come but I fought it with everything that I had. Those defenceless hours, oblivious to my surroundings, were enough to light up my whole body with fiery sparks that make me want to scream with anger and cry with fear. I am utterly wired until that time when I cannot fight it anymore and the sleep is as instantaneous as it is unwelcome. I have some warning though, when my thoughts become intertwined with random ideas, impossible ideas, I seek my flimsy bed, not what I'm used to, and hope I can get maybe even an hour's sleep before I have to experience the horror show that is reality.

Tucked into the little shelf that night, the sleep pooled on my eyelids, and the wooden ship was filled with the soft sounds of people sleeping. The wind swooped up, over the heights of the sails, rushed and rustled through the creaking beams, and gradually ebbed away through the crags to silence that wasn't filled with the waves crashing against the side of the ship. No longer did the rocking make me feel sick, but instead created a soothing rhythm to which rocked me to sleep.

The previous day had been quiet, nothing to feel the numbing void of darkness that was offered from the bare walls. Those few hours alone was enough to make me crave any type of communication, any voice, any entertainment. But instead I only found comfort in the darkness of my eyelids.

I had no idea how long I had been asleep for until I woke to the sound of breathing that wasn't my own. It was heaving, like a man's and rapid as if he's run into the room. I listen, still, trembling as the memories of where I am rush back. He's moving slowly, his heavy feet creaking floor boards that are silent for me.

"Wake up, Princess" there booms that deep voice that still sends shivers down my spine and despite the heat that floods my body, I remain still in the poorly lit room. I can hear him lean against a beam in the room, his hands tapping gently against metal - probably his sword, or belt buckle. The way he calls me princess is more of a sarcastic humour rather than being respectful and I fight the urge to roll my eyes beneath my closed lids.

I can hear him huffing to himself when I don't respond to him and within seconds he's calling out to me again.

"For God sake, heavy sleeper are we?" I hear his weight shift again and this time the heavy strides of his steps come closer and before I can even register anything, I can feel his hand on my shoulder as he roughly shakes me.

My eyes shoot open as a gasp leaves my lips and he pulls away from me. I sit up straight and throw my legs off of the bed as I jump to my feet, trying to make my body appear as large as possible, as if he was a bear.

"I would prefer it if you didn't lay your dirty hands upon me again, captain!" His title came out as a bitter poison that I hoped would cause him some pain, something I had come to do just as he called me princess. I could have walked away had it not been for the smirk. That little rise in the corner of his mouth he was oblivious to combined with the cool detachment in his eyes that was mixed with a playful gleam of excitement that seemed to spark in his eyes.

I had unintentionally given him inner delight. He was savouring the moment as if it was a sweet nectar.

"Sleep well?"

Maybe it was his stupid face or his stupid tone, or maybe just my lack of control but I once again found my self taking a swing at him with as much ease as the restraints around my wrist would allow. But with a grunt Henry caught my wrist mid air.

That deep, low, chuckle that only he could manage echoed through the cabin again and I felt my teeth dig into my cheeks as he tightened his grip on my wrist.

"Barely even awake and already taking swings at me." his smirk remained unchanged as he stared down at me and with a rapid jerking motion of my arm, I pulled my hand from his grip.

"You're going to have to be faster than that next time"

Henry's stillness scared me. Perhaps it is the faint sunlight making his skin gleam, or the lack of wind letting every hair hang without movement, I'm not sure. He doesn't even blink. Our bodies sway with the movement of the ship, a lazy and understated rocking motion. It's times like this where if this was someone else, I would turn away and try to hide from their gaze, but not with Henry. He had this power over me that even I couldn't explain.

Henry had quite forgotten what one can see in peripheral vision and his eyes are walking from my hair line to my feet and back up again. In short, he is staring and there seems no end to his fascination. The only time his gaze breaks is when I clear my throat in an attempt to calm my thumping heart.

"I guess I will just keep on practicing".

With a swish on my dress, I take my seat again, holding my back straight and folding my arms as best as I could as I turn my gaze to the small window in the room.

I can feel Henry's gaze on me for a moment longer and from my peripheral vision I can see his tongue lick over his bottom lip.

"I have some businesses to talk to you about". The playful tone in his voice had stilled and instead was replaced by a more serious one and I rolled my eyes.

"And what's that? Is my scent to hypnotic for your idiotic crew" sarcasm.

I expected some sort of laugh or sarcastic comeback but instead all i got was a serious response.

"We have received word from your father" just like how Henry had turned serious, I too felt my body stiffen as I snapped my head to look at him, analysing to see if he was telling the truth.

"What?"

"Read for yourself" He produced a single piece of parchment from his pocket, the bright red wax sigil was one I was oh so familiar with.

With a push I was on my feet and with two large strides I found myself inches in front of Henry as I snatched the paper from his hands. My eyes skimmed over the cursive letters, my mind numbing at the words that laid there.

"It seems we have a deal"

Shock brings a quietness within, a moment to feel my emotions change gear and numb my soul for what is to come. My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more light than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up.

"Looks like he really does care about you after all" Henry's sarcastic tone returns and for once I don't know what to say.

"No" that's the only word on my mind as I reread the words over and over again. "My father would have never made a deal with people like you!"

"Well whether you believe it or not, Princess, your father has agreed to disburse the taxes back to my people in exchange for your safe return".

My eyes glance up at him through my lashes and I shove the paper back into his hand as I turn my back to him, not quite sure what I was feeling. How could my father bargain with - pirates?

With a sigh Henry continues.

"I'm just waiting for word from a friend in the village to make sure he does what he says and then your father has demanded that I leave you with a fleet of his royal guards, about a four days journey from here" I hear his voice waver a little and all I do is remain silent.

"So that's it then? I can go home in four days"

"As long as your father keeps his end of the deal then you will be sipping tea and eating your fancy pansy food by the end of the week and I will be nothing more than a distant memory"

That's what I was afraid of. Maybe it was seeing the same castle walls for the past countless years or the constant routine of being followed by guards everywhere, but with Henry, I felt a spark of excitement, endless thoughts of what could happen rather than knowing every little detail of what my future holds. And even if Henry didn't say it, I could see the look in his eyes when I disobeyed him or talked back to him. He enjoyed it just as much as I did.

His face remained motionless for a second more before his lips turned up again in what I had come to assume was his factory setting.

"Did you think I was lying? That I wouldn't keep up my end of the deal?" he chuckled lowly as he stepped forward and I felt my feet remain in their spot. "Just because I'm a pirate doesn't doesn't inherently make me a liar"

I could feel his breath on my face, the smell of alcohol strong but not unbearable, instead it was almost intoxicating but for all the wrong reasons.

"I had a mission princess." I watched as his eyes darkened and I felt the way his warm, rough fingers found my skin, wrapping around my neck with ease as he gently squeezed. I could breathe but I was more than aware that he could take that from me at any moment. I didn't move, didn't jump or didn't scream. I only stared at him, watching my reflection in his eyes.

"It wasn't to take you…. To torture you or - have my way with you" I heard the desperation in his voice and I to felt a familiar warmth in my stomach as I tried to control myself.

His eyes remained focused on me, as did mine on him. I swallowed hard and it made me all the more aware of his hand on my throat and the power he held over me.

Just as the warmth became almost unbearable, he pulled his hand away and it left a burning that I know no one could even recreate.

"No. It was to simply get your father's attention" Henry cleared his throat as he turned away from me, trying and failing to hide the fact that he was readjusting himself. "and Now that I have that, you can rest easy. Enjoy your few days at see and then you can be back home"

Seeing the effect I blatantly had on him made my heart twirl and hearing his voice made my stomach flutter. I can't help but feel this way about him.

Pin-drop silence...? How is that remotely possible with my heart somersaulting. His mahogany hair moving through his fingers as he brushed it back in a way I have come to adore and his cerulean eyes locking onto me as he turned back to face me in a trance with such intensity; looking away is unthinkable. His eyes constrict as he winked at me, unaware of the repercussions. The dimples that indent in the corners of his embellished skin is my last coherent thought as I become painfully aware of the silence that wrapped around us.

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as Henry looked in my direction, he grinned and I snapped my head away, knowing that if I continued to stare I would get lost in his big blue eyes. I could feel his eyes still on me, I silently inhaled and exhaled, hoping that his thoughts about me were good.

"I'm hungry" I quickly spurt out, not really knowing what else to say. What else could I say? I want to feel your touch on me again? I don't want to go back home because I can't stop thinking about what could happen between us? You make me feel something I've never felt before? I want to have your cock as deep inside me as humanly possible? This man was turning me into a harlot.

Henry smiled to himself, his eyes dropping as he inhaled deeply.

"Very well, i'll send something in".

With a nod of his head he sent a member of the crew off to fulfill my request. Henry turned around to leave but not before taking one last look up and down my body. He may have thought I didn't see that, but I did.

"Captain?" I called out hastily and he stopped in his tracks and his attention was back on me.

I said nothing and only extended my binded hands in his direction. Henry raised his eyebrows in confusion before finally letting them fall as he realised what I was asking of him.

"What? No!" he huffed out a chuckled and I let my arms drop back to my body

"How does once expect me to eat with these"

"Well you seemed to manage quite fine when trying to attack me earlier. Not to mention how you busted my lip not too long ago as well" Henry crossed his arms and my face remained stoic.

"it's not going to happen, Princess. No offence but I don't fancy waking up with a knife to my throat" I opened my mouth to protest but decided against it seeing as he was half right.

I felt my lip twitch in annoyance as I suddenly accepted the fact that the binds were there to stay for a while longer and I shifted on my feet.

"I don't blame you. I would do the same if I was in the same situation - fight back that is." His eyes softened a little in reassurance and my heart once again flipped. "But nonetheless, the ropes stay tied".

Henry once again turned to leave me but for some reason I just couldn't stop myself. I wanted him to stay with me almost.

"My father really isn't a bad man" I watched as Henry's shoulders stiffened and he sighed heavily.

"How I do wish to live in that fantasy world you get to live in"

He slowly turned again and the soft expression and playful smirk were gone, instead replaced with an angered grimace.

"He is a bad man. He's a murderer and a thief." his eyes remained dark with rage.

"Let's just say I wouldn't lose a night's sleep if I got the chance to kill him myself, I can tell you that" his rage subsided a little as he noticed my wide eyes and his chuckle once again filled the room.

"Don't worry, princess. Your daddy's going to be just fine unless he goes back on his word. if he takes you and then goes back on his promise, he's going to lose more than just you. He'll lose his limbs, his eyes, he's tongue and just about everything else".

I remained silent through his little threat. Henry huffed a little, running his hand over his beard.

"I'm not a monster, princess. I may be a brood and violent at times. But I have my reasons for the way I am. Can you say the same for your father?" His voice became softer and calmer than I had heard before. I couldn't tell who was lying. Him. Or me. The one person who kept saying my father wasn't a monster.

I saw those gravity-drawn shoulders painting a picture of Henry's heart, as if neither it nor his soul would welcome a beat. I see in his eyes that his brain had built some new walls with him so lonely on the other side. I too knew that same feeling as I felt the tears burn the edges of eyes.

My eyes fell to the floor and I watched as he stepped closer to me, his hand coming to tap my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

His eyes were so different in that moment, more soft than I knew eyes could be. The dangerous pirate who could kill me at any second was gone and instead they were the eyes of one who cared deeply. If it were anyone else I would drop my gaze, but with him, I'm drawn in closer, always wanting more. In his eyes is humanity, the person he really is and not what the world saw him as.

"The world is a cruel place and the truth is cold, y/n" he spoke my name with such delicacy and it made me feel warm inside. Never before did my name sound so beautiful.

"you've had the luxury of hiding from it, but I haven't. You could judge me for the way I turned out and I can sure as hell judge you too. Safe, naive, sheltered, believing that everything is good and all is right. All the while my people are being beaten, hung, dragged behind on horses as they scream for their lives - " his voice grew in volume and the rage he felt was understandable and I felt sorry for him. " - and for what? For not being able to pay some ridiculous tax?"

Henry's breathing became heavy, rugged and uneven and my heart ached to hug him, to apologise for everything.

"All I can say is ask him yourself when you get back. See if his eyes speak true to his innocence." Behind that icy stare was a mountain of pain, yet extracting it would bring pain and instability.

We stood in silence, the only thing keeping me from crying was the fact that my teeth dug into my cheeks, a trick I was taught by a maid to control my emotions years ago.

Neither of us moved until a knock filled the silence and we both shifted away from each other. I wiped my eyes of their vacant tears and Henry cleared his throat. I turned my head away from the man who entered the room with a tray of food, and I listened closely as I heard two sets of footsteps leave the room without another word.

~~

My thoughts were blank. What a strange occurrence. Normally my thoughts were twisting and turning; suffocating me with their whispers. But now, nothing. What did I know? I knew nothing. I lived a lie and now I didn't know what to do.

I chewed my nail impatiently, my foot bouncing against the wood below them and I needed answers of the truth.

"Princess!" that deep voice called out to me from down the hall outside my room and I jumped to my feet, straightening out my dress a little in the process.

The second I saw his head of hair peer round the door, I allowed my face to hold its stoic position as I waited to see what he wanted.

"Good evening. How was your dinner?" His eyes fell to the empty plate that once held an array of foods from chicken to nuts and dates, not what I had expected from a pirate ship. In all honesty they could have given me a stale piece of bread and I would have consumed every crumb within seconds.

"It was satisfactory" I held my head high as he picked up the plate and handed it to someone else.

"Oh my sincere apologies on behalf of the ship's cook for disappointing your majesty" he gave a small bow and it stunned me how his cocky nature had quickly returned and I was still caught up in my emotions.

"Are you mocking me, Captain?" His eyes squinted slightly as he drew out a long hum before nodding profusely.

"hmmm, yes" he laughed loudly and I rolled my eyes.

"Well if that is all you intend to do I request to be alone"

"That's not all I came down here for".

He peeked my interest and I peered at him intently.

"No, I came to check in on you. Give you a little bit of company" Henry looked around the room as if he had never seen it before himself as he took a seat on a chair that sat in the corner, the wood creaking under his weight.

"it does get awfully lonely down here and something tells me you aren't one to go without attention"

I stared him down and blew a strand of hair from my face.

"Don't take me for a fool, captain" my voice was strong and unfaltering and Henry held his hands up defensively.

"Caught me in a lie you did" he chuckled again before sitting back comfortably. His eyes stared at my body again before landing on my face that I was sure had a tint of red.

"Alright, I confess - You fascinate me"

Words left me as my mind went blank.

"w-what?" the only word that seemed I was able to speak.

"Well I just can't stay away. I'm actually going to miss having you aboard. You've got a fire inside you that no one seems to dampen. Never before have I had someone speak to me the way you do. I thought about the day someone finally did and I imagined what they would look like. But a princess never seemed to fit that description. You're definitely more than I bargained for".

I felt almost embarrassed as he stared at me, the warmth in my stomach almost matching the warmth that radiated from my chest.

"Not once have you wailed or cried in self pity. You haven't begged for your life or your father's" he shook his head as he seemed to remember something, an inside joke maybe. Henry wagged his finger at me and chuckled.

"But you. You take swings at me, spit in my face and you fight back".

I felt a small smile pull at my lips as pride filled me.

"So?"

"so, if I stay here for a little while will I get hurt again?"

The smile on my face grew a little at the admittance that I had managed to hurt him.

"No" I simply said, taking a seat on my bed.

"tell me. Will you be happy to return?" The smile I had faded just as quick as it had appeared and even I didn't know the answer to that but thankfully Henry was too eager with his questions to allow me to linger on that one.

"What's it even like there? To live in luxury? I reckon my imagination doesn't do it justice"

I felt a sarcastic remark bite at my tongue and I couldn't control it.

"It's more than an animal like you deserves" I glanced at him briefly with a glint of resistance before turning my gaze back to the wall.

"Oh I see. You know it's funny, princess" Henry stood from his seat and slowly marched to stand in front of me, hands behind his back as his eyes remained on me. "Your lips insult me… But your eyes twinkle as they do"

I swallowed the lump in my front as I crossed my legs and straightened my posture.

"I have no idea what you are talking about"

Henry chuckled, stepping closer to me before leaning down so his face was inches away from mine.

"You know what I think? I think I am no more of an animal to you than you are a rich, spoiled brat to me" our eyes met and I could see the resistance that both of us held. His eyes flickered down to my lips for a second and I could tell he didn't mean to do it. "I think we both know that there's more to each other than meets the eye"

I so badly wanted to reach out to him, to run my fingers through his salty hair. But my pride held me back and Henry thankfully stood up.

"Be honest, there's a part of you that's thriving on all of this. Being amongst pirates and being at sea away from civilization and prying eyes. And being more than a pretty face in a perfect little world" his voice turned dark with desire as I stared up at him, not quite sure what to say.

"So you admit you think I'm pretty"

"and you don't deny anything else"

We both held our gazes strong and anyone could feel the tension that surrounded us.

"You see, I can be quite perspective - for an animal" He chuckled lowly and I still remained silent.

"Well princess, I bid you goodnight. I'm going to be turning in soon."

Henry turned to leave and I suddenly found my voice.

"Can you leave a candle burning?" Henry smiled and simply nodded, pulling a match from his pocket and sticking it to create a flame that lit the room much more.

"I'm sorry for leaving you in the dark, princess." he smiled softly.

"And maybe a blanket?" Henry's eyes flooded with guilt as he finally noticed the way I clung onto myself for any warmth.

"You've - you've been cold?" I watched as his gaze turned to his men who stood outside the door and their faces turned white with fear.

"My sincere apologies, Princess. My men should have been on that and I promise you the right consequences will be taken"

I laughed quietly as I watched the men scramble to find a blanket and within seconds one was being handed to me.

"Now for God's sake we are not your servants, no more requests".

I wrapped the scratchy blanket around my body but I couldn't care less because the warmth was all I needed.

"Good night, princess"

"Good night, captain"

Tbc

(tags will be added in reblog)

[hazydaaze]

An analysis of the Bold Type that I need to get off my chest (it'll be worth it, I promise)

I studied English literature at university, and it has always been instinctive for me to analyse characters, storylines, bigger pictures and under the surface tensions in film & tv. Discussing emotions, motivations and themes with my gf and my pals late at night is one of my favourite pastimes ever and I love everything to do with filmography and art ahhhh. (I wrote my dissertation on David Bowie & The Artistry of Sexuality, ya feel me?)

The Bold Type isn't filmography at all, but I think Jane Sloan and Jacqueline Carlyle hit different for me, being a queer woman in my 20s and a full-time writer. I can't really explain why. I guess there are a lot of queer female characters in film & tv that don't really feel inherently queer, and even as two identifying straight women Jane and Jacqueline felt queer to me. Their connection and understanding of each other was authentic and quite complex. I think they had potential to be something that we'd never seen before in mainstream media, because of their age difference and life experiences. I thought that was so compelling and so important to talk about and to give a recognised space to.

There is one thing that struck me most about them and it's insane to me that I haven't seen a lot of analysis on it, so it's the point of this post.

To my knowledge the show or actors haven't delved too deeply into it either, and given what went down I don't understand why people AREN'T talking about it. I wanted to bring it up. Btw, this post contains spoilers.

***Sexual abuse trigger warning***

In season 1, we learn that Jacqueline is the victim of rape, and the only person she has told about it is her husband, Ian. Given that she mentions that they've been married for around 19 years and the assault happened before they met, we can assume Jacqueline has been carrying the weight of what happened to her for over two decades. During all that time she didn't talk about it with anyone else, not a single other person.

And then Tiny Jane comes along. Jane Sloan, the big swing writer who just wants to write meaningful stories that help other women and girls that need it, like she did growing up. She fucks up a lot on the way and slowly begins discarding her judgemental opinions as she grows. But when she is at her best she has genuine compassion and empathy for people, and despite her reservations, Jacqueline gives her the opportunity to write about the story of a rape survivor and performance artist. She isn't aware, at the time, what that means for her own trauma or her own acceptance of it. But she does it anyway, because she sees something in Jane and she has seen it there from the beginning.

Jane starts to write and, as we know, in the most beautiful and compelling moment at the season 1 finale, Jacqueline is confronted with what happened to her. She stands in Central Park holding these weights, and you can see the crushing pain in her eyes as the realisation descends down on her. She shares a look with Jane, and a moment of understanding passes between them at what this means.

Despite all this, she lets Jane capture her trauma. She lets her publish her untold experience of her rape from two decades gone. She lets millions of people see her story in writing, with Jane Sloan's name printed above it. She re-lives and faces up to the harsh reality of that pain and that truth, through Jane.

Can you even imagine the trust you must have in someone to do that? The sheer love that took, for Jacqueline to give Jane her voice and her truth, with all its painful and hard repercussions?

This storyline is the boldest part of the Bold Type. It's the most honest and the most authentic. It captures the raw emotion of Jacqueline, and of Jane, and the two characters really see each other for who they are. It's one of the reasons why their relationship is so central to the other's storyline.

We don't ever see Jane truly unpick in detail what Jacqueline did for her. It spoke so many volumes and ... well, isn't that what love is?

It's this storyline that sets the tone for their relationship over the course of the show. Jacqueline sacrifices herself for Jane again and again. She publishes the article about the lack of accessible healthcare at Safford and gets fired for doing so, purely so Jane can afford to freeze her eggs. Jacqueline says there were a lot of other things that contributed to it, but Jane knows her article was the final straw, the point of no return.

Over a decade of pouring everything she could give into Scarlet Magazine and it’s readers, only to be gone in a second. All for Jane.

And again, in season 4, in the few real moments we are given between them, one of their final interactions is Jacqueline giving Jane the go-ahead to explore a story of potential abuse at States & Nations, a company Ian is associated with. Ian literally asks Jacqueline to stop pursuing the story, due to the sexual relationship he had with the source when he and Jacqueline were separated. When Jane challenges Jacqueline over her reasoning for pulling the story, she asks her to give the story a chance. Jacqueline lets her, knowing full well that it could prove irreparably damaging to her marriage and her family, and she does it anyway.

Jacqueline chooses the truth, over her career and over her marriage. She chooses Jane. As humans, there isn't much more you can give to someone else. I’m wracking my brains trying to think of a way Jacqueline could portray her love for Jane more, and I’m all out of ideas.

I want to reiterate again how insane it is to me that none of this is really acknowledged, or at least not nearly as much as it should be amongst the show, its creators and its viewers, Jacqueline continually falls on her sword for Jane (weird analogy, but she does) and it is repeatedly glossed over. Their relationship is quickly dismissed as a "mother Jane never had" or a simple "boss/employee" power dynamic, and it seems so hollow, unjust and sorry - so unbelievably boring - in contrast to the experiences they have shared together and the sacrifices they have made.

I understand Jacqueline’s character was based on Cosmopolitan Editor in Chief, Joanna Coles, and therefore it makes sense that this queerness to her relationship with Jane was not intended. However, it’s there. Everything I mentioned in the post happened on the show in canon.

In 2021, the possibility that these two women could have romantic or sexual feelings towards each other shouldn't be a stretch. If either of these women were male characters with this much intertwined investment, high stakes and sacrifice, there would be no doubt they would be endgame. They would run away, have the hottest sex, all the while their reputations would be forever ruined in the name of love. And we, as viewers, would celebrate it without question - we would never dismiss it.

The concept of what they are, and what they can be as two women should be able to live and thrive. It should be given a beating heart. In the very least, the reality of it should be on the table and up for debate. But for many viewers, and the show’s creators, it just isn’t. And here lies the problem.

Jane and Jacqueline have such a beautiful dynamic, it is so deep and soul-wrenching. How can we ever limit what these two women are and what they would do for each other?

I really hope that one day we can see a relationship like theirs given the queer space it deserves. Because it would've been the bold thing (and the right thing) to do.

I'm going to publish a longer and more in-depth article about this on Medium, because as I said, analysing is my favourite pastime and I can't stop doing it. But for now, this is all I can manage.

Edit: Read my published Medium article.

Here's to Jane and Jacqueline and what could've been.

[ohnotoomanyfandoms]

I'm really interested in your analysis of the plot twist being that matthew is in love with james instead of cordelia. Many people (including me) have joked about how it would make more sense but I never really consider it... In a canon way? But it could make sense. I like what you say about his (lack of) pov. Maybe there is something to analyse too in his reaction to james and grace vs jordelia. Like from the start he didn't really like grace but because he struggled to believe her. Ok I don't know where I'm going with this I need to reread chog. But just so you know that at least 1 person is interested in what you have to say about this theory.

Thank you! 

I shall try my best to explain why I’m choosing to believe Matthew is in love with James and not Cordelia until I am proven wrong by canon. 

1) The lack of POV that I mentioned in my other post is very telling. Cassandra’s choice indicates Matthew has a secret. We already know about his dark sin, so it’s not that. It’s something us readers aren’t supposed to know, so that it can come as a revelation later. 

2) Matthew hates Grace. He always has and he still does. Now, remember, Matthew was the only person James confided in about Grace. If James told him he was in love, shouldn't Matthew have been happy for him? If he had reservations about Grace specifically, why not make them known? No, in those initial years he didn’t loathe Grace specifically, he’d never even met her, but he was jealous of her for holding James’s heart. And then obviously he grows angry and bitter when Grace breaks James’s heart and leaves him for Charles of all people, proving, in Matthew’s eyes, that she’s just a social climber.

3) Cordelia. Matthew and Cordelia get along marvelously. He adores her as a person, and she him. They immediately build this camaraderie built upon how much they love the Herondales. As the book progresses and they get to know each other more, they start caring about each other and understanding each other as friends do. Now, I know everyone assumes those are signs of Matthew falling in love with her, but if the storyline was that linear, then why not have his POV? Why not show us how he was falling for her? Because it’s a red herring, that’s why. 

Hear me out: you can whip out ANY passage in Chain of Gold or snippet from Chain of Iron where you think the hidden subtext is that Matthew is developing feelings for Cordelia. I dare you, any passage, read it through the lens of “Matthew actually loves James.” You’ll see. I can provide examples in another post, if you want, let me know. 

Every time you think Matthew is jealous of James, it’s actually James he’s looking at, not Cordelia. Every time he’s angry, it’s on James’s behalf, for his sake. Now, you could of course just read this as parabatai protectiveness and I wouldn’t fault you for it. It’s how I read it as for nearly a year, after all. And then I re-read some old theories of mine from like 2015 and things clicked. I re-read the book and it all made sense through those lenses. 

I always said there was something suspicious about Matthew’s alleged feelings for Cordelia. They came too fast. I even theorized Grace compelled him to feel things for her, so as to mess things up a bit. Now I realize those feelings were never there in the first place. 

Now, let me address some of your potential reservations: 

A) “But this would mean Matthew is in love with both Herondale siblings! Isn’t that a bit odd?” No odder than James and Lucie Herondale being in love with Grace and Jesse Blackthorn, another set of siblings. I mean what are the odds of THAT happening, right? (Unless you believe Jesse is also making Lucie fall for him like Grace did with James.) It’s actually way less strange if a bisexual boy falls for his best friend and his little sister. Or falls for the sister as a result of his love for his best friend being literally impossible. As in, James can’t reciprocate because he’s straight, and even if that weren’t the case, any romantic or sexual relationship between them is forbidden by the Law. 

B) “Would this be another parabatai love story?” No, this wouldn’t be another TDA situation, because James doesn’t and can’t love Matthew back romantically. If anything, this is unrequited love in its purest form (which, by the way, isn’t even forbidden by the Clave. What is forbidden is if you actually have a relationship, consummate, but it takes two to tango, so there is no chance of Matthew facing legal consequences like exile or mark-stripping for this, thankfully). We’ve seen some unrequited love situation in other TSC books, but it was never a main thing. Alec got over his imaginary crush on Jace the second he met Magnus. Same for Simon with Clary and Izzy. For Matthew, this could be yet another reason for his torment. 

C) “Must everyone be gay???? stop making every character gay” I’m sorry, Matthew is canonically bisexual and therefore what I am suggesting is canonically possible. 

If you don’t agree with this theory, I am curious to hear what you think the “big plot twist in the love triangle” is going to be! 

[warm-like-autumn]

Little Witch academia theories

Since now there's the possibility of an upcoming Lwa season I thought it was the perfect time to share this theory I've had for a long time, along with what I think the upcoming season could be about, possible episode ideas and… maybe future villains. And as I’m rewatching this show , I developed this theory that I had for a long time and even came up with ideas for the new season and what it could be about.Let's speculate!!

My main theory is about Croix Meridies and how she could possibly be related to the Hanbridge family.

This might be me over analysing things, but after seeing someone on Tumblr point out to how similar Andrew and Croix's eyes are, I believe they are connected in some way, but the creators didn't have time to develop on that. Especially in how in ep 24, there was put a strong emphasis on both of their eyes. In a scene that was supposed to parallel their reactions.Especially in a show like Lwa, where all the important characters have unique eye shapes that match their personality, having two important characters have the same eye shape and the same eye color raises some questions.

And this is not the only evidence I have to Croix being related to the Hanbridge family. In episode 19, Andrew even states that him and Diana are sort of related. And now on to the Paul Hanbridge part, it would be weird for a man who claims to dislike magic so much to be related to witches. So, what if his wife was a witch, because I think there's a reason we never saw Andrew's mother, and even though we don't see all of the characters parents and flashback moments in this show, Andrew's backstory seems to be pretty important and his father is always present throughout the story.

And for a father that is so strict it raises some questions that his mother is absent. So what if his mother is… dead, and what if her death had to do something with witchcraft, possibly being a reason why Paul hates witchcraft and forced his son to have the same opinions , thinking magic is a dead practice, and his hatred seems too personal to be political in the first place.

Another interesting factor is how Paul's hatred for witches seems to be different from Blackwell's hatred for witches. Whereas Paul's reasons are more justified since he hates the art, not the artist and thinks magic and witches are outdated and have no place in the modern age, Blackwell holds this opinion out of pure bigotry.

And as much as he hates witches, Paul still tries to keep a good relation with them, even if trying to "keep his enemies in debt"

as he says in ep 6 and he seems to have had a good relation with witches and Luna Nova for a long time. So something must have happened along the way for him to hate witches and that something may involve… his wife. What if witches or witchcraft were involved in his wife's death.

And this gets us to the important part of the theory, Croix and how she could possibly be Paul's daughter. What if Andrew isn't the only child Paul has, and this theory is plausible since Croix is around 28 years old,(she graduated in 2007, the anime takes place somewhere around 2017)

and Paul seems to be around his middle or late 50s, basically old enough to be her father. Another piece of evidence I have to that is how there not anything known about Croix's past before she joined Luna Nova, and despite her achievements and the fact that she was described as a "magic prodigy" she was also described as timid and reserved during high-school days, and back then she wasn't as confident and over the top villainous as she is today, her stance being much more distant and reserved, compared to Chariot, who was much more extroverted, even a bit of a show of, always surrounded by people.

She seemed as if she was hiding from something… or someone. What if Croix ran away from home in order to pursue witchcraft, since Paul could have been just as strict about witchcraft to her as he is to Andrew.

And it would make Andrew and Paul's connection to the Chariot and Croix storyline deeper and better, since even the magic shop owner was more relevant to the plot than those two at this point, and they acted as spectators in the second half of the story. Another interesting factor is how Paul constantly says that magic is dead ,obsolete and not necessarily in modern times, while Croix's main motivation is to prove that this exact thing is wrong and that magic is still useful by fusing it with science. And think about it for a second, the damage Croix's monsters did, how Croix fueling the protests for her experiments almost sparked into ww3, all of these things affect the government, which Paul is a part of. Her villain plan might have also been a revenge plan at her father, for being an awful parental figure.

On top of that, neither Andrew or Paul ever directly interacted with Croix or even saw her, and all of the important characters saw Croix and interacted with her, except those two. And at the end of episode 25, right after Croix was arrested and left the scene, Andrew appeared, almost as if the creators didn't want the two characters to interact just yet.

And knowing that Andrew and Diana are cousins, this would also make Croix be part of the Cavendish family, Meridies being possibly a fake name she took to distance herself from both of the well known powerful families. Andrew and Diana often parallel each other in the show, and Croix and her relationship to Chariot is also supposed to be a foil to Akko and her relationship with Diana. Therefore Andrew and Croix were supposed to be a foil to each other, Croix kind of showing Andrew what can happen if he quietly held a grudge against his father and not standing up to him at the right time for two long until he eventually could snap and do the same thing as Croix. Her story of being misunderstood,missguided, filled with jealousy could serve as a cautionary tail.

And Croix being Paul’s daughter would also make sense given her overambitious personality and her constant need of validation from others , including Profesor Woodward and desire to be on top.All of these factors could have easily shaped her into the sort of person that despite having good intentions doesn't have the best ways of achieving them , often putting others in danger to do so.Her being Paul’s daughter would also make sense of why she is jealous of Chariot , since Chariot not only has the shiny rod , but also support from others and appreciation .

A reason my theory could work is how Andrew was originally supposed to be Akko’s love interest , but the creator of the show , Yoh Yoshinari scrapped that sconcept at the request of staff and voice actor , he ended up making Akko a “girl who’s not interested in boys” , so Andrew needed a new purpose in the story , and maybe him discovering Croix is his sister and potentially also becoming a wizard could be those purposes , since they already been kinda set up.

But this theory also raises some questions .How did Andrew’s mother die?Is Andrew a wizard?Did he know he had an older sister? These could be interesting themes to explore in the potential upcoming season .Other things that would be cool to see in this potential season what happened after the missile, Croix redemption arc, my theory becoming cannon and Croix and Chariot having to deal with the mistakes they made, how Akko feels about all of these, and more stuff with the nine new witches, are they considered like superheroes, are they famous now??

Now , onto what the upcoming season could potentially be about :

- As I stated in my theory , Croix and Andrew having to deal with the fact that they are siblings

-Croix redemption arc , maybe more development with her relationship with Ursula/Chariot

-Maybe another episode focused on nightfall , maybe Akko using a spell to make the Nightfall characters real for Lotte’s birthday.

-More flashbacks about Chariot and Croix’s years as Luna Nova students

-Lore behind the golden age of magic and the nine new witches

-New villains

-Return of the shiny rod , but in a unique way

-Maybe the stories could deal with Arthurian Mythos via Appleton Academy

-Male Wizards , maybe more episodes with Andrew and Frank

-More action scenes and serious moments

-The preparation for the spring festival mentioned at the end of episode 25

-More references to other pieces of media (maybe more kingsman , marvel and star wars references as well…)

I should go in depth with some of these aspects :

1.For example , even after episode 25 showed everyone cheering for the 7 witches,they were happy and cheering because otherwise the missile would have killed everyone.They now are happy that they are saved by the witches , and possibly entering a new age of magic , but what if somehow , it is discover that it was because of Croix’s magic that the missile attack almost happened in the first place.How would they react knowing a single witch was capable of such a feast.Especially how would the politicians react.Because at the end of episode 25,Paul was willing to learn more about Andrew’s opinions about witchcraft and even be open to it .But maybe after he finds out the truth about the missile attack,his hatred for witchcraft is even more reinforced , maybe ruining all the progress Andrew has been trying to make in teaching his father about magic ,for him to hate it even more now.Maybe it would even push him to become a villain in the show.

2.Another idea for a villain in the upcoming season I theorize about is Daryl , Diana’s aunt , even though she was kinda redeemed by the end of the season , she is a strange figure , possibly using dark magic , maybe after Diana became head of the Cavendish family , Daryl does not agree with some of Diana’s ways of improving the Cavendish family title and returns to villany , maybe serving as a possible introduction to dark magic (Like she literally can go through walls and has a snake as a pet AND HER EYES GLOW RED)

3.After rewatching episode 17 (Amanda O’Neill and the holy grail) I came up with this silly idea for a plotline , what if that episode wasn't just about an epic fight scene and showing us Croix’s first experiment test , but set up something even more interesting.Even if the title of the episode is a reference to “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” , in the Arturian legend of the holy grail it is Galahad the knight who is chosen to find the Holy Grail. Galahad, in both the Lancelot-Grail cycle and in Malory's retelling, is exalted above all the other knights: he is the one worthy enough to have the Holy Grail revealed to him and to be taken into Heaven , so Galahad is the one to have found the holy grail.And for a first test , Croix’s monster worked quite well , and we also know in Lwa , spirits and ghosts exist and they tend to attach themselves to objects.And if Croix’s pixels were in the grail before Louis broke it , why didn't they start working yet.My theory is that Galahad’s ghost was attached to the Holy Grail and the cubes only powered the ghost up , making it able to separate form the grail ,but decided to stay still until Louis broke the grail , pissing the ghost of Galahad off and thus punishing Louis by possessing a nearby knight armor along with Blackwell himself, combining both into a violent berserker.After Amanda destroyed the armor she could’ve weakened the ghost of Galahad , thus everything instantly went back to normal , but what if the ghost started regaining strength , adjusting to life not being attached to the grail , but planning to stroke again , to punish Louis and the other students of Appleton for ruining the reputation of the school with their hatred for witches .Appleton academy could possibly have lore connected to Arthurian legend to it , with how much they hold the importance of tradition , duels , and gentleman like behaviour , almost knight-like.Maybe the next season could have a plotline that involves stopping the Ghost of Galahad.

4.Last but not least , even after the shiny rod vanished in episode 25 , i think there is a way for it to return without ruining the impact it had in the show. There are seven words of arcturus , and seven of the Luna Nova students are part of the nine new witches , right ?So since the rod became a constellation at the end of the show , seven of those stars could be the seven words , so what if each of the seven words materializes as weapon of their own on earth and each of the seven witches(Akko ,Diana, Lotte,Sucy, Amanda , Constanze , Jasminka) get one of the seven words that became weapons .Because even if the rod disappeared , it came to Akko’s help in a different way , since even if the quest to bringing a new age of magic is far from complete.

[famouskittychild]

Cheeky Mandos - ...and we're off

(Sorry I had a terrible writer’s block in the past 6-ish weeks - I went from reading fanfiction and being inspired by other’s visions to “I’ll never be able to write anything like these and I’m useless” in a single day :( I’m getting back into the groove finally, so I’m hoping to post more soon.)

There will be 18+ content (in the coming chapters soon) so if you are a minor, please don't read further.

Also the characters will be quite open and relaxed about things like gender, attraction, sexual activities, relationships etc, so if you prefer your Din (and their partner) possessive and/or monogamous , this won’t be a good read for you!

***

This pairing is  Din Djarin x gn reader / tall reader.  I’m short (and cis and woman). There’s so many short (and female) reader stuff out there, I wanted to write for people on the other end of the “why is your height not normal” / "definitely female" spectrum. If I make mistakes or you have advice, or ideas you'd like to see, please tell me!

Word count: 4267

Summary: You’re an armourer and some shiny guy just showed up.

First full piece/chapter/course! In which people seem to catch things. Thoughts? Viruses? Dropped facts? Who knows!?? Also contains a dilettante’s attempt at space electronics and some barely-canon-reminiscent Mando world-building. Still no spiciness sorry, marinating is a long process :P

Rating: T for some mentions of heavier topics.

CW: Mentions of mandalorian history, playing somewhat loose with canon lore (as in, my SW knowledge is patchy. sorry.)

Author’s note: I tried to find more info but it seems like the mandalorian alphabet doesn’t have names for the individual letters so I used aurebesh (also I liked the little Dorn(e) meta in there). And sorry for the bad puns. They’ll keep coming.

Prologue

One - ...and we're off

***

You aren’t worried about taking a stranger on board, you’ve done that plenty of times before. You hope he’s willing to put in the effort himself, too, just as he promised at the assembly.

The stranger leaves behind his ship, saying a friend will come to pick it up together with whoever might want to join the cause. You spot him from the cockpit as he walks over with a repulsor pallet in tow. He stops for a moment when your droids surge past him, busy at their pre-flight tasks, before moving on towards the ramp.

All his baggage is a satchel at his hip and a small bag on his shoulder, and two large crates of weaponry. You put him up in the spare cabin, the one that had been Sal’ee’s, your former apprentice, before she went on to be a journeyman. He stands in the middle of the room, staring at the two cots on opposite sides of the room, the lockers, the fresher in the corner.

“All mine? Where will you sleep?”

You don’t understand the surprise in his voice.

“Over there” you show him, pointing at the cabin opposite from his. It’s much more lived in, some of the blankets and trinkets and pillows visible through it’s open door. “There’s a third cabin that I mostly use for storage but has more fold-up bunks in case I need to transport more people. That’s rare though.”

“Ohh.” He nods, then turns to look around his room again. “Okay. I thought all of these rooms were cargo space.”

You smile, and quickly think through your to-do list. You’ll have to rearrange your schedule somewhat but it’s not that big of a bother.

“Come on, I’ll show you around the ship.” Before he gets lost in its cavernous interiors, you might add - but you don’t. If his reaction to a separate cabin and his current ship - an old ARC170 - is any indication, he must be used to very cramped quarters.

***

Your trusty Brick, a beat-up YV 929, is armed to the teeth and ugly, just as you like it. The ship is a scavenged one, gutted from most of its original factory issue armaments, engines, and even wiring. It was perfect for your former master when she found it at a scrap heap: she wanted to rebuild it herself, deliberately piecemeal; panels sourced form here, engines from there, concealments added. She modified the inner workings of the engines so that the power lines could be redirected to a concealed forge.

That forge is your pride and the main reason you haven’t settled at a permanent place yourself. When your master retired from travelling, the ship passed to you, and you continued her mission of offering your knowledge and expertise to those of your people who otherwise had no access to an armourer.

…

The next standard month is spent with adjusting, both for yourself after getting used travelling alone again since Sal’ee left, and for the stranger who found himself a passenger on someone else’s ship. Apparently he used to live a very similar life to yours, with the exception that he was a hunter not a craftsman.

You travel together, share meals, research the places you are directed to. He joins in the effort that is maintaining the ship. Still - he is very taciturn at the beginning, keeping his words to the bare minimum. The first few days it feels as if you are still on your own aside of your droids. By the middle of the month, he progresses from short answers, through sharing information, to willingly starting to tell stories; but you know that chatting will never be his defining feature.

His armour seems to fill the spaces of the Brick’s corridors. You feel as if it’s not him who has the presence, but that set of glinting, perfectly made handwork of an armourer you already admire. Some of the pieces were sourced elsewhere, you can tell by the different shapes and designs; they seem haphazard and mismatched compared to the rest. Most of the set is the work of a single person. On those, there’s not a single uneven line, a broken curve, an edge at the wrong place. The angle of the panes of the metal, the ridges, the simplicity and elegance of them all - you have to hold yourself back from touching them, to admire them. You would give a lot to hold those pieces in your hand, to study them, to analyse them with your eyes and hands and with your tools.

You’re a master, yes. But so much knowledge was lost. So many masters gone, with their knowledge and their workshops. Apprentices became heads of Forges in the absence of the more skilled. The survivors still to this day have to piece together half-remembered lessons and forgotten details, experiment with techniques that were known before but the methods got lost as decades of civil war and occupation and murder kept eroding your heritage.

Sometimes a set of armour comes along that is just made in a way you never had an opportunity to learn. Often the person who forged them is long gone. Not the stranger’s armourer though. As far you can tell, she’s alive. Or at least was, when he last saw her. Not too long ago; though your usual method for guessing forging dates is mostly useless as it is based on the condition of the suit’s paintwork. Which he doesn’t have, so you can only guess from the small amount of scratches. You try to ask once, but whilst he’s forthcoming with general stories, he doesn’t go into details.

It’s a common theme with him. He talks about people and planets and events, and leaves out a lot - and you don’t even notice it first. Only when you try to glean information about his armour do you realize how well he fuzzes over those facts and nuances. It’s only up to the peculiarities of Basic and its use of gendered pronouns that you know his Armourer is a woman, or at least he considers them so. He doesn’t even tells you his own name, and when you ask your Elder in one of your communications, she tells you he didn’t gave it to them either. You keep introducing him as a friend, and that is the end of it for a while.

***

The visits to this first few coverts with him are… interesting. You can see him fidgeting from the corner of your eye. He always follows half a step behind and off to a side, as if not wanting to be in your way. He keeps quiet and doesn’t mix much, and around small children and droids, he is positively withdrawn. He only comes alive when he talks about his mission.

You had learned early on during your apprenticeship that keeping the helmet on is a safe bet when meeting with unfamiliar mandalorians. That led to later getting in contact with his type of believers too, despite their notorious secrecy even from the rest of the People. When you tell the stranger about that, he immediately showers you with questions, but you can’t give an answer to most of them. You never met with anyone from his particular covert, or heard of it. No name, no description seems familiar. It’s painful to watch his shoulders slump after daring to hope.

During the course of the month spent travelling, he gradually comes to be more social. He starts to stand and walk beside you. He doesn’t withdraw to the background anymore; he can actually be quite chatty if approached the right way. Droids still make him stop, though he warms up to kids in his own way. He’s good with them, at least in your opinion, though you know some would still call him aloof and distant. He isn’t a cuddler, nor does he crouch down to ask cutesy questions. He juts sits nearby them, and in that way of children having a good sense about adults, they know he’s trustworthy. They go up to him to chatter, to hand him a toy to hold, to ask him to fix a latch on their boots; than they go back to play.

He teaches you too, inadvertently at first during everyday conversations and later by his own volition, about his Way. About his Creed. It keeps throwing you off how much it differs from most that you had met before. Not even meeting briefly with people who followed the same Way as him could prepare you for the details that he does share. The degree of strictness, the loyalty, the barest bones Old Tradition beliefs and their willingness to follow them is very rare amongst the People as far as you can tell. Their devotion earns your respect.

At other times, your jaw hangs open and you can’t believe you are talking to an adult roughly around the same age as yourself, who by his own admission had spent three decades living as a follower of the Creed - not knowing about things children are thought through plays and songtime. His ignorance is so staggering, your admiration towards his unknown Armourer wavers. How could she keep so many things hidden from them? Why not talk about your own history? Your greats? Your artefacts?

About the many other who would call them vod’e, siblings?

You are an armourer, a craftsman, a person who makes a living by making things with your hand. You’re not a leader, or a scholar, or someone who decides what to tell your people. You do have a status within the community, but that is a status of service. From what the stranger says, their Armourer was a leader in every aspect: elder and lorekeeper and moral guide and more. All in one. It is something you can see developing from the old songs and histories amongst groups who take tradition more literally.

You are good at observing people, even at copying their habits to make them feel more comfortable with you, but less good at determining their underlying motives. The reason you think of him as “the stranger” even after travelling with him is because it’s so hard to figure out what drives him. There’s a melancholy to him that overrides the more typical mandalorian fight-readiness or aggression. You see how he gazes off to the distance sometimes, turning his head to the side and freezing. How he keeps to himself when he can. But you can’t tell why. Grief? Regrets? Determination to change? Planning something greater and being preoccupied with that?

He doesn’t pick fights to test you. He spars with you when you invite him to, he helps when you ask, and often even without it. He’s polite and considerate; he keeps conversation to practicalities and interesting stories, and doesn’t bother you with anecdotes or insistent questions about trivialities or your private life. He even does the dishes.

He’s deadly boring in his reliableness.

You are used to being on your toes around people all the time. When you meet a new group, it’s all unknown people. With ones you had already visited, the problem is having to remember them. They remember you of course, the ‘wandering armourer’; and surely you remember them too.

What is worse, when people stay the same but you don’t remember them, or when they change and you just can’t place them?

He becomes a good excuse after you’ve been to several coverts together. It’s interesting to notice how your dynamics change even further once you two get into a comfortable routine. You start to retreat to your forge and tools, and let him take all the attention. And he doesn’t just talk about his mission anymore, or lets little ones play around him whilst he’s quiet. He converses with people about news, about their children, about weaponry. You have more time to focus on your work.

Sometimes, people ask you what do you think of his mission. You tell them that you will follow what your clan decides, and that’s mostly true. It is something people don’t often debate, at least.

He quickly becomes a part of your everyday life. You are content with your usually solitary travels. You know that your family, your clan and your friends wait for you at home. They message you and you can find the time that suits you to message back. You don’t miss the constant hubbub of the covert most of the time. But now that you have someone that is not a droid, someone who is your equal in every aspect, on board again, it’s not even lonely anymore.

***

“So what’s up with you and droids?” you ask one day, after you got back from a covert and are safely in hyperspace to the next destination. You tinker with your astromech’s navigational systems. Poor 2-T keeps bumping into walls and crates. Again.

The stranger looks at you and your droid, than over at Mouse who for a change isn’t zooming around at foot level.

“Bad memories.”

“Gunk sat on you?” You tease. You hope it’s just something silly and not him having some sort of snobbish organics-are-better philosophy. He is quiet, and you focus on your work. He’ll talk if he wants to, that much you know already about him.

Inside the body of your astromech, a rivet from stars knows where is stuck between two circuit boards and blocks the access to a short-circuited piece of wire.

“Kriff. Toots, this will take a while, sweetie. Can’t access that kriffing panel.” He chirps back something and you read the translation on the small display. “No, it’s not that. My hand can’t fit in that small space. Let me find those pliers… should be in that other drawer somewhere.”

You search in the chest of tools, and despite your usually good organization, you can’t find them amongst the droids’ tools where their place is.

“Let me help.” The stranger’s voice beside you makes you jump. He can be awfully quiet. “Sorry. I think I might’ve put them back into the wrong drawer. I used them the other day when I fine-tuned that scope.”

He points at another drawer, where you keep your fine electronics stuff. No wonder he mixed them up. He stands beside Tootee a bit awkwardly until you find the tool.

“Here! No problem by the way. “ You turn back to him and to the droid, than have an idea. “Do you mind a bit more help? You can say no if you don’t want to work with the droid, I’ll understand.”

He doesn’t object yet, so you go back to 2-T and show the stranger the area you’re working on. You see him lean closer in your peripheral vision.

“That’s where I need to get that burned piece of wire out and install a new one, but first, I need to get that rivet out of the way.” You point at the root of the problem, than explain your plan, pointing out each part in turn. ”If you could hold those using this, than I could get here, remove this, with that tool, than have to get those bundles out of the way too, so than that wire there could come out. Easy.”

You look up at him, and his helmet is way closer than you expected. You can almost see your reflection in that black visor as it stares back at you for a second, and you almost apologize again, when the stranger starts to speak.

“Just have to hold the wires to the casing, or pull them like…” he moves his hand in the air, showing what he means.

“Hold them to that panel, there, with the pliers, so I have room to access the rest.”

He thinks for a moment, than he starts to tug one of his gloves off.

“You don’t need to take that off, just hold the pliers” you tell him, but he shakes his head.

“No, I can fit my hand in there, I’m pretty sure. If not we can try it with the tool.”

You realize that this is the first time you see his skin. Than it occurs to you that he might very well misunderstand this whole situation. You just asked him to hang his hand inches from yours in an enclosed space; inside a droid nonetheless, just after you basically told him you noticed he has a problem with them. It would be so easy to get caught up in there, to touch his hand, and hush it up as coincidence. Especially now that he took his glove off as well. He might even think that it was a careful plan of yours: have an area to work with were your slightly larger hands don’t fit but his might.

Your fingertips already tingle from knowing you can’t make mistakes. Which means you’ll probably do. He reaches between the panels and gets to the part where you got stuck. He wiggles his fingers a bit and scrapes around.

“Ha, found some wires. Are these the ones you need out of the way?”

You peer down into the quagmire of electronics, trying to find the best angle to see everything.

“Yes, those are the ones. Just hold them like that.” You try to focus on what you are doing, but after those earlier thoughts, your hands are jittery. You somehow manage to remove the obstructing rivet, than find the burned out part and replace it without accident, the stranger patiently holding things out of your way. You direct him here and there, occasionally stumbling as it’s a lot of instructions, or at least a lot of “could you please” and “thank you”. It gets particularly awkward when you stumble over the lack of name spectacularly.

“Could you pull those the other way, so they aren't that taut, please? Thank you, you. I mean thank you.”

“Din. Din Djarin.” Your head snaps up while the rest of your body freezes. “I should have told you my name sooner, but I’m so used to not telling it… and it just became more awkward to bring it up as time passed. I apologize.”

You close your mouth that of course was hanging open in surprise, than shake your head.

“I thought at first that I missed it when you said it so I was ashamed that I didn’t remember.” That did happen before, and it was one of your greatest worries about meeting new people. “I actually asked my elder. Sent her a comm. So when she told me you went nameless, I didn’t wanted to demand it.”

He doesn't answer right away. His voice is softer when he speaks a bit later.

“Thank you. For being considerate.”

You smile and try to wave it off. Which results in your hand slipping and pawing at his, still motionless and stuck in the inside of the astromech.

“Oh shucks, I’m sorry… didn’t meant to.” You withdraw your hand quickly, and start to look for your tools to cover your mistake.

He doesn’t seem bothered, luckily. You calm down, reminding yourself not to behave like you drank one too many glasses of your cousin Ree’s home-made tihaar, and finish the repair.

“You can let those go now, I’ll finish from here. Thanks for your help.”

“You’re welcome, any time.”

He sits back on a nearby crate and watches you work for a while, ignoring Mouse zooming around the room. You’re surprised a bit: you didn't expected him to stick around. And than he starts to ask about 2-T. How long you had him, is he temperamental, can you install a vocoder on astromechs, and why not. His tone is somewhat cautious, his voice stiff, like someone asking about a dangerous predator. You remember how you asked him about his distance with droids, but don’t want to push that question. He already told you his name today.

…

By the time you finish with the rest of the repairs, clean Tootee up and tidy around your workplace, interrupted by having to leave hyperspace and land at a spaceport, it’s the middle of the night in local time. You planned to have a nap and search out the local covert just before dawn.

You go to the galley to have a bite before turning in, and the stranger - Din, you remember, although his last name is less clear - is cleaning up some dishes. There’s another bowl in the middle of the small table, covered by a plate.

“That’s for you, if you’d like to have it. Used up the last of that spice mix we got” he tells you as you enter. You sit down and stretch your legs out one side. As you take the plate off from the steaming bowl, you think about how nice it is to find warm food on the table and not having to cook your own all the time.

“Thank you.” You pull the bowl close and take the spoon that he put beside it. You swirl the soup - it looks very good: clear broth with lots of veggies and other fillers in it - and gather your thoughts. “So ummm… I want to ask something before it gets awkward again.“

He finishes piling the bowls and cups and sits down on the seat opposite. You blurt the question out before you might change your mind.

“What was your name again? Din, that was clear, but the rest… sorry but it sounded something like “jarring”?”

He chuckles, and it’s a clear sound even with a vocoder, no snort or sigh to distort it.

“It’s Djarin. Dorn-jenth-aurek-resh-isk-nern. Djarin.” You nod, a bit embarrassed, and he continues. “Don’t worry, you aren't the first to ask. Probably not the last either.”

“Thanks for being patient. I’m not the best with names, to be honest.”

He tilts his head.

“Is that why you are always so focused when someone introduces themselves? I can ask them to repeat their names for me too if you want to, than both of us can try to remember them.”

You blink at him.

“That’d be…” Unnecessary, and don’t bother, and it’s not your job, you think - but stop yourself. That would actually help. No shame in accepting it. ”That would be nice. Thanks.” You are good at a few things, like making things with your own two hands. Not gaping when something surprises you, or remembering faces or names, any names, not just people? Nah.

You tuck into your soup, and the two of you sit in companionable silence. You wander if Djarin sits there because he wants to, or if he’s waiting for more questions from you. You asked a lot from him during the last few hours, and he was really kind with all his help and telling you his name and not being bothered when you misremembered it.

You are halfway done with your meal when he stirs. He leans forward with his lower arms on the table, and takes a deep breath. You wonder what his question will be - you commit to answer whatever it might be. He deserves that after today.

“So you asked earlier about me and… droids, right?”

Your hand with the spoon stops in the air. You weren’t expecting this question, at all.

“Yes…” You want to say he didn’t have to answer. But you already told him that. You’re sure he remembers that too - since he brought the topic up again. “Yes, I did.”

He shuffles on his seat a bit, and looks out to the side like he sometimes does. You lower your spoon and eat, letting him gather his thoughts.

“When I was a kid… I don’t know how old you were then, but during the war. The Clone wars.” You nod, understanding what he’s getting at, and he continues. “We were… the place I lived came under attack. Some separatist battle droids. Mandalorians saved me.”

You swallow your soup. That was the shortest possible description of someone having their entire life and probably everyone they knew ripped away from them and finding a new way of life for the decades to come.

“I’m sorry” you say, because really, what else is there to say. He nods, and gazes off again. Than he shrugs his shoulders, as if he wants to shake the weight of the past from them.

He gets up, and walks around the table on his way out. He stops beside you for a moment and hesitates, and you almost turn towards him to ask what he needs when you feel him squeeze your shoulder. Than he straightens and steps away.

It’s warm where he squeezed it, and you remember how long ago it was that someone touched you.

You need to talk to your friends asap, and hug at least some of them. He turns back from the door.

“Get some sleep before dawn, all right? Have to be sharp to remember all those new names.” You don’t see him wink but you’d bet he does behind his visor. You scrunch your nose at him and pout before smiling, and he dips out of the galley.

Your hand is still hovering in the air, holding the spoon, while you listen to his footsteps getting more distant as he walks down the corridor to his cabin.

It’s just your luck that you don’t need your wits the next place. It’s only two people with the same, simple name and you met both of them before.