#i dont get paid enough for this

[gingerjolover]

u don’t write like a bisexual u write like a lesbian

anon....

you got me fucked up

what the FUCK does this mean

[scholasticspastic]

OK HERE

[ultragrill]

15 gasolined up Gabriels and Prime Souls in my sandbox after the next update

bro :sob: pingpongs all of your gabriels and prime souls to death with the red shotgun

[exoticalmonde]

Every time I log on since yesterday feels like Chongyue is purposefully trying to get a very not-sporty person to sport and I'm going to pinch him.

He bursts into Dr. Eve's room at 7:15am to say I wasn't up at língchén for practice and then doesn't try to get me out of bed. He just throws me over his shoulder, sheets and all.

Off for a private session. Along the way he can ask me if I figured out how to parry the move from yesterday but I'm asleep honk mimimimi honk mimimimi in his grasp, so he doesn't even know what to do with me.

"Why do you have Dr. Eve like that? Is she sleeping?!" Various operators may ask. Even they don't know why they're up but they know /I/ was up working.

"A great warrior must cultivate the body same as the mind. The scholars I used to know were keen of spirit too, though I suppose one cannot force the flower to bloom with mere will and heart, as each blossom will open in its own sweet time---" And he keeps talking even if he'd long walked past the person who spoke to him previously.

[evil-feather]

I originally posted this on my Instagram spam but I thought it was too funny, not to share it here, so...😂

If Book Alma were a cat...

[magnoliamyrrh]

literally the worst part of work so far is that dude

the last time i went into his room and had to help him change into pijamas he asked me to play w his dick and offered to pay me and all this shit and kept staring at my boobs and no amount of saying I would report him and that this is inappropriate helped

one of my coworkers told me i need to be scaries and colder which i will be.

but im wondering if its acceptable to yeet this old man out the window and into the realm of the afterlife yet

[tiredpinkpanda]

Pov: you open a curious cat....

[mssapphirerose]

This idea violently gripped my brain last night so I had to get it out.

We all adore the shenanigans of the Magnus Archives crew, but what does it all look like from the outside? I kept thinking about the janitorial staff and how weird it must be to work on the periphery of it all.

[salemsbatz]

Giant deer man? It's just that ibuprofen buddy don't worry

[luvgirlxblue]

I don't get paid enough for this, pt.1

Character: Shoto Todoroki

Category: [series]

Words: 0.9k

Warnings: some for the entire series in general, but none for this part :)

Authors notes: it's 2am you know the drill

Y/N: no race for this one either but i mentioned hair in your face so keep that in mind, Y/N is female and both Y/N and Shoto are in their early 20's. quirk: temperature. as the name suggests you can simply change the temperature in certain areas or of certain objects.

Beep, beep, beep, be-

"Alright, that's enough of that." Y/N grumbled while rubbing her eyes. Slamming her hand down on the alarm clock she thought about quitting her job and joining the circus just so she wouldn't have to wake up at such an early time for an 9 hour shift at the hole-in-a-wall cafe. Rolling out of bed she pushed the hair out of her face and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. After going through the necessary motions of her morning routine, she eyed the uniform hanging on the handles of her wardrobe, and sighed. "I'll have to get those coffee stains out later."

Keys? Check. Purse, Check. Motivation? Nope, but considering she was already clocking in at this point, there wasn't much to do about it, she had to support her cat child after all.

And so the day began: late trains, rude customers, loud kids and occasionally spilling hot drinks on herself were all parts of the many trials of her job. After graduating highschool, since she didn't have any ambition of pro-hero or public service work, she was relatively stuck for choices. So here she was doing the best she could to support herself while she figured things out.

It was around 7PM now, and the population of the small shop had thinned out considerably. While cleaning out cups, Y/N heard the bell above the door tinkle quietly, and sighing she reluctantly pulled out her notepad. Not bothering to look up she asked the stranger what they would like to drink in a monotone voice. The response she got back was pretty standard but after writing the order down, and going to ask for a name, she stopped dead in her tracks. She was met with red and white hair, and two hetero-chromatic eyes (with a huge scar to match) staring at back at her.

Taking a look at the outfit he had on, her first impression was that whoever this man was, he was probably either a low-ranking hero, or some obsessive fan-boy. Probably some sidekick that had shown up on TV beside on of the pro's, or maybe some kind of eccentric PR manager? That would explain away the strange hair colour...

Now, Y/N had lost much of her previous interest in heroes after realising that her quirk just wasn't cut out for the job, but she did remember the faces of most of the finalists in U.A's sports festival -the one she had watched at 14. Blurry memories of the winner and runners up began to swim across her mind. The main three being the hot-headed #8 Dynamight, of course the up-and-coming #5 Deku, and... oh. Right. Shit- wait there was no way he was just casually standing in front of her right now. Did the number #9 pro-hero just walk in? To a place like this? Now? Ah- the coffee, this ha to be the best one you've made yet, don't mess up Y/N don't-

"Excuse me ma'am, but are you alright? You dropped your notebook."

You turn your face back to a slightly concerned looking Shoto holding out your notebook.

"Oh, me? I'm fine - i'll just start on your drink sir..."

There was no way she would let a rising pro catch her stuttering. Absolutely not. Never.

Y/N takes the opportunity to slink away behind the counter and turn her back to him, while focusing a little too hard on the whirring of the espresso machines.

Shoto took the hint and sat himself down at one of the booths in the corner, while he pulled out his phone to occupy himself with.

After a little while he took a break from work emails and paperwork too peak at his barista. Sure, she had recognised him, that much was clear - it was nothing new. But what was new was that she hadn't screamed, or thrown herself at him, or fainted, or asked for an autograph, or gushed about his quirk or display even a hint of any other fan-girlish reaction he'd been subject to in the past. She had just...done nothing?

It was a well known fact that Shoto wasn't the fastest when it came to social ques or interacting with fans (something his PR team had tried to capitalise on), and he could not figure out why the woman had been so casual about meeting him. (Was she not aware of his rankings? Maybe she preferred Dynamight over him?)

And suddenly it was one of those rare moments in his life, where, despite growing up in the shadow of a famous pro-hero himself, and attending a prestigious and well known school, he felt...

Small. Unimportant.

Another quick glance confirms none of the other patrons seemed to recognise (or care) who he was either.

He decided it was a welcome contrast to the attention he usually boasted, and that he was grateful to the woman for not mentioning it.

Y/N on the other hand was quite dejected. She had seen the way these heroes lived - in luxury and comfort - and it only added insult to injury to see his dazzling face juxtaposed against the cracked wall of the diner. She was also gloomy about his eventual departure, and it reminded her of how insignificant her interactions with people like him would always be.

Just another face in another crowd.

She still had a couple more hours of her shift left, and both of these harsh facts were making her more than irritated at this point.

That's why, when the first explosion burst through the door, and her ears started to ring, her first thought was annoyance at all the damage coming out of her paycheck instead of worry for the blood seeping out of the wound on her head.

[mothmothwoth]

Aughhhhhhhhhhhhh

Vaguely Punk girl from the Philippines save me. Save me vaguely punk girl from the Philippines. Save me.

[i-steal-bones]

I'm trying to fall asleep and my leg started cramping with no warning

[spookyprime]

Straight couple breakup fighting in my grocery store VS. Straight couple hard-core making out in my grocery store

[lynx-kin]

I was helping my aunt make dinner for her and my grandparents today. Now, in case anyone was wondering, we made parmesean tilapia, green beans, and PURPLE.

Yes, you read that right. PURPLE. I Kid You Not.

I had NO IDEA what this was until my aunt told me. Give it a guess what you think it is. Go on, give it a go.

Ready?

It's a sweet potato.

*A SWEET POTATO.*

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go question my life; thank you, and goodnight.

[storravoid]

Millions of people are dying because of you, you zionist trash. I hope you are killed.

Do the world a favor and kill yourself before I do it for you.

Are you the same guy that sent me that ask yesterday, or a different dumbass?

Either way, this is insane to say to someone, regardless of their beliefs. I am not a zionist, although from what you have said, I can see that you don't care.

Also, they're dying because of me? Mate, I post about musicals and cats, I really don't know what you want from me. I've never been to the Middle East, I work on Broadway for fucks sake, not really a ton of time to pack up and travel.

I should do something like how spacelazarwolf does and find an equivalent of waterboarding bad opinions. I certainly have enough of them in my ask box.

Anyways, I hope everyone has a great day today. Don't let assholes like this get to you.

You're amazing and worthy, much love!!

[ask-nurse-blainey]

Quick! There's a flare up of herpes amongst the students! How do we stop this!!!!

Yall need to stop kissing and stuff. Focus on your studies.

Here's some healing ointment.