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#i dont have to do anything i am me and she is she its ALRIGHT we deal with these things differently
opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
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#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again#it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof#is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head#my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the#middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up#like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable#bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life#anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been#like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i#might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it#i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt#the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective#but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work#but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops#not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy#ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day#ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time#ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea#of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i#get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism#ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes#unrelated
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dragonji · 10 months
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its time for yet another brain game of am i like fully neurotic or was this genuinely not a cool situation . prize is jack shite and yet im playing anyways👍
#j.txt#vent#just like. to preface. im not bringing any of this up im just going to stew in it for the night and then move on as per usual#alright disclaimer made now i can get to the point. So. tonight is my close irl friends bday right but she didnt tell me about any plans#so i naturally assumed she was gonna do her own thing and not really celebrate. Ive had work all day and while working get a text frm her#asking if we want to go to this restaurant i introduced our group to for dinner. so i respond saying oh im off at this time if yall want to#go even tho its late i can. Never get a response so i assume theyll bring it up when i get back. get home and no ones here not a word abt#whats going on. i do my usual unwinding get ready to chill etc which takes abt half an hour. she comes back with our other mutual friends#and theyve already gone to the restaurant which is fine i get it. but they get back and say oh now we're going to this themed music night at#a club we've all been to before as soon as (other friend) changes. and then just. dont offer for me to come along or anything and leave.#which like. whatever its happened a hundred times before im used to it but Still. does it not even occur that I might want to participate??#if i had Any notice that this was happening I could have been getting ready instead of slacking around waiting for someone to get home#its so. i try extrememly hard not to be a downer or just invite myself to things bc I Know this is how they all operate but it does still#sting that it feels like im not even thought of if i dont happen to be in the room when plans are being made lol.#and obv I am Not bringing this up rn and ruining what im sure was a really fun night for all of them#its just truly a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation yknow. but such are the whims of fate and i shall endure as always✌️
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mythesque · 7 months
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alhaitham and dehya are FRIENDS they are friends THEY ARE FRIENDS they are besties they are F R I E N D S this Is the hill i Will die on
#none of u guys understand them like i do (lamenting)#desert gang you will always be fucking famous to meeeee#emotionally i am perpetually living in the sumeru archon quest#i have Lots Of Fucking Thoughts about it and them#anyway these are the hills i will die on: 1. alhaitham and dehya are best* fucking friends (*best here w an asterisk bc dehya has many#friends bc she is a very charming and likeable woman w myriad good qualities and alhaitham is not those things (i hate him) (affectionate)#so obviously dehya doesnt need some weirdo scholar to be her best friend but they are still very special friends bc they are v special to ME#(slight tangent but god i just have so much fucking brainrot abt the sumeru charas i have So Many Thoughts please you dont understand im dyi#dying#dont even get me started on nilou nilou is fucking wonderful and amazing and perfect this is another hill i will die on i am a#nilou defender forever and ever#aNYWAY im getting fucking sidetracked but im rambing word vomit nonsense in the tags of my tumblr dot com bc its the wee hours of morning an#and i have a problem and that problem is called i am very not normal about these stupid fucking characters and ANYWAY to finally continue my#list from like ten tags ago#the other hill i will die on is 2. signora deserved better LMAOOO#my other ~~problem~~ superpower is i can make anything abt the fatui harbingers /incurs smirks#alright ill stop my yapping lololol just throwing my thoughts out into the void like woe brainrot be upon ye#.txt
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stsapphos · 5 months
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this anthropology assignment is gonna kill me dead just from the stress
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the-cooler-king · 11 months
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breaking news: i asked my crush about his baby mom, and gave him the option to not answer. Shockingly he chose not to answer and I havent heard from him since
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p2iimon · 1 year
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should i drop everyone i went to school with as revenge for never comforting me ever ever even once even trying (except my boyfriend, who did) y/n
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spade-club · 2 years
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I didnt get to play minecraft with the person I've been talking to and now I'm in a Weird mood >:(
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m1sa-w1sa · 4 months
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Can you do all the fatui their react to that y/n was hiding traumatised past and that blaming them self and hide it all , and of course they comfort y/n beaxuse they always help the fauti with their problems
(Okie dokie! Coming right up!)
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You are mine and I am yours
Pierro
•He probably found out if you told him upfront or he found you crying someplace
•when he told you spit it out he was shocked it would’ve been torture to go through that
•even if he might not be the best he would try everything that he has to make you feel better
•If it you were dating he would hold you close by your waist whispering nothing but sweetness in your ears
•If platonic he would make you a cup of tea or your favorite dish letting you cry on his shoulder
“Everything is alright dear..”
Capitano
•He would know somethings wrong when you started acting distant, maybe slightly sloppy on missions, more sleepy
•If he saw you crying he would quickly ask whats wrong his mask covering his slight worried expression
•If Romantic he would pull you close wrapping you in his coat with him sitting on his lap or just standing with him
•If Platonic he would take you for a walk maybe get you ice cream or something to eat after to make you feel better making sure to check in with you time to time
“You should’ve told me sooner.”
Dottore
•So you guys had little meet ups when your not with the other harbingers but if you miss that meet up he would go find you himself
•If he saw you in your room he would tilt your chin up as you tell him everything
•If romantic he would stay with you laying your head in his lap while doing his paperwork
•If Platonic he would hug you just really that patting your back soothing you slowly
(Your gonna have to know him for a really ling time for him to act like this towards you)
“Your foolish for not saying anything”
Columbina
•If you two were by each other sides alot she would quickly notice your different personality she would confront you
•When you tell her either platonic or romantic she would sing you a soft lullaby with your head on her lap as she would just caress your cheek softly
“Poor little you why didnt you say anything?”
Arlecchino
•Arlecchini works with kids so its noticed rather quickly
•It doesnt just go away lightly Alrecchibo sits and talks to you
•Romantic she would hold you on her lap letting you talk
•Platonic she would make your favorite food or drink
“You know I care..”
Punichella
I think I spelt his name wrong
• I dont really know how to write for him so ill try my best
•He is kinda like the cool grandpa that gives you good advice so im not going ti do a romantic for him
•He would make you tae and sit and chat with you letting you cry on his shoulder
Scaramouche
•Hes more colder than the others but if your with him most of the time hes going to notice
•When he finds out he would make you speak trying to get every single thing off of your chest, If romantic he would sit and cuddle you, kicking out anyone else that comes in
•A little same with Platonic hut your just next to him holding his hand tightly
“Idiot..”
Sandrone
•Again with her going in depth is a little hard for me but anyways!!!
•She would confront you immediately asking you questions about it
•Both romantic or Platonic she would carry you with her on her robot holding your hard caressing the back of your hand with her thumb softly
“Quite stupid to not say something..”
La Signora
•She loves you lots Platonic or Romantic
•she knows what pain feels like same with Scaramouche
•Either Platonic or romantic she would play with your hair brushing it out, doing different styles, adding accessories anything just to clam you down
“Your hair is tangled”
Pantalone
•So when he found out he would be worried for you
•He would ask you to tell him every single thing you like to tell him
•Both Romanic and Platonic he would take you shopping, spoiling your rotten only difference if romantic he would also take you on dates aswell
“Pick anything you like darling..”
Tartaglia
•He has siblings so he also notices quite quickly so he would find you as soon as possible to sit you down to have a chat
•He would cuddle you for maybe more than a hour as you talk patting your back, caressing your hair
•He would spoil you aswell and if romantic he would take you on dates aswell!!
(Finished!! This was fun but also pretty hard to write but i uope u enjoyed!)
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likelyfox · 2 months
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mine!
F!Reader x Winter
wc: 2.1k
ao3
You transferred to a new school with which you were familiar with, your cousin went to the same school so you thought that nothing could go wrong.
Oh you were wrong…
First day of school should have been nothing other than listening to whatever is happening during classes, though it did happen you also saw how some girl was always eyeing you. As if you did something.
You were worried if something was on your face, if you were too weird if you-
“Hey!” She said
“H-hey!” You said
“Are you new here?” She said “I am Minjeong nice to meet you”
“Im Y/n” You greeted yourself, she had blonde hair and she looked beautiful.
“Yes i am new here” You answered
“Thats fine, want to come eat with us?” She asked
“Us?” You asked
“Jimin, Ning and Aeri they are quite chill…well they might tease you for being too shy but should be fine overall” She said
“I uh…” You tried to think, a girl is inviting you to eat with her on the first day even.
“Its fine if you dont want to-” She said
“No i will!” You said before following her into the cafeteria
There were lots of students however when you got to the table where Minjeong’s friends were everything became fine.
“Hey she will eat with us!” Minjeong said snapping Jimin out of her world
“Oh alright” Jimin said “Whats her name?”
“Y/n” Minjeong answered
“Shes as shy as you” Aeri teased
“Shes new here thats why” Minjeong said
“She doesnt seem new” Jimin said “Tell us!”
“Uh well…i am quite familiar with this school…as my cousin went here” You answered
“Oh thats why” Jimin said
“Wheres Ning-” Minjeong said before she arrived. You were surprised that all of Minjeong’s friends looked beautiful
“Hello” Ning said “Shes new?”
“Yes” Minjeong answered
“She can join us for the volleyball practice later” Aeri said
“Sure, if thats fine with you Jimin?” Minjeong asked
“Do you play volleyball?” Jimin asked
“I do, but i havent played for around 4 months now” You answered
“Thats fine!” Jimin said
The lunch wasnt as bad as you thought. You already met Minjeong, Aeri, Jimin and Ning and so far they seem awesome. After all lessons ended you almost forgot about the practice that the girls invited you to.
“Y/n” Minjeong said
“Yes?” You asked
“The practice?” Minjeong asked back
“Oh right” You said
Entering the sports hall you saw no one except the girls you met earlier.
“Well glad to see you here” Jimin said
“She almost forgot” Minjeong said
“Thats fine” Jimin said
“Well lets start then!” Aeri said
The practice went fine overall, you had tons of fun which you thought wouldnt happen on the first day. After practice while changing Minjeong came up to you once again.
“Hey so i was wondering” Minjeong said
“Yes?” You asked
“Could i get your number?” Minjeong asked
“Minjeong already in love?” Aeri teased
“I am not” Minjeong said “Dont you have to go home?”
“Relax” Aeri said
“How can i relax when you-” Minjeong said
“Alright stop.” Jimin said
“She started it” Aeri said
“I didnt” Minjeong said
“Alright lets go Aeri” Jimin said before pushing her out of the room. Silence between the two of you set in.
“I um…” Minjeong said “Im sorry about that she is just annoying sometimes and i-”
“Its fine” You said
“It was awkward we just met” Minjeong said
“So what?” You asked “Its not like that one interaction will make me think shes a bitch”
“It will” Minjeong said
“Look, i will give you my phone number” You said
“Oh” Minjeong said before she gave you her phone, you did want to save your number in her phone as something cute but you decided to not do that.
“Alright here” You said
“Thanks” Minjeong said
The rest of the day went as expected you didnt really do anything, except the night when you received a text.
minjeong: hey its minjeong!
y/n: oh hey
minjeong: you are really fun to hang out with
y/n: oh thanks
minjeong: i was wondering
or if im jumping into things
do you want to hang out tomorrow
y/n: sure!
you arent jumping to things dw
minjeong: awesome then
we will talk tomorrow
y/n: yep, gn!
minjeong: gn!
You were quite happy that you already became friends with Minjeong and its only the first day, at the same time you dont really want to be in her friend group.
The next day was relaxing, it was raining outside so it was more quiet than usual in the school, when it was PE everything went well until you played volleyball.
“Y/N WATCH OUT” Jimin screamed out however it was too late
“Shit shit shit-” Minjeong said rushing to you “Are you fine?”
“Y-yeah” You said
“Im so sorry” Jimin said
“Let me see the situation girls.” The teacher said “Minjeong take Y/n to the nurse”
“Alright!” Minjeong said
Once you arrived at the nurse you hoped it was nothing serious, in the end it really wasnt.
“Im sorry” Minjeong said “We werent careful enough and Jimin accidentally-‘
“Its fine” You said
“It isnt! You are injured because of our stupidity!” Minjeong said
“Minjeong.” You said before holding her hands “It hurt, but that doesnt matter you were quick to act”
“Yeah but-” She said
“Shush” You said bringing your finger to her lips
“Y/n?” Some called your name
“Uh- Oh hey Jimin” You said before pushing Minjeong off you
“Are you fine?” Jimin asked
“Mhm” You answered
“Thank god” Jimin said before hugging you “Whats up with you and Minjeong?”
“Nothing” You answered
“You seemed really close” Jimin said “Oh my god! Did you confess?”
“She was worried and thought its her fault for getting me hurt” You said
“Oh” Jimin said
You did notice how jealous Minjeong seemed to be, but you didnt pay much attention to it.
You had a planned “date” with her today, however she didnt arrive or reply to your texts.
y/n: hey
You hoped she would read it or at least open the message but she didnt, instead she was ignoring you.
“Hey whats up with Minjeong?” You asked
“Nothing” Jimin said
“She hasnt answered my texts and keeps ignoring me” You said
“Weird” Jimin said
“I just…hope i didnt do anything to make her feel awkward” You said
“Dont worry you didnt” Jimin said “If anything maybe she isnt feeling good!”
“She was quite alive and smiley 2 days ago” You said
“We could visit her tonight?” Jimin asked
“Sure” You said
You hoped that she wasnt being a baby and sulking because you spent time with Jimin, however at the same time you didnt think it was that bad. Shes your best friend at this point why would she get jealous to the person she introduced you to?
Later that night you and Jimin arrived at Minjeong’s apartment, she knocked and then you both waited.
“Oh” Minjeong said
“Can we come in?” Jimin asked
“Uh…why?” Minjeong asked
“We want to talk.” Jimin answered
“Why?” Minjeong asked
“Minjeong.”
“Jimin.”
You were still there right besides Jimin, now further away from her. You hoped there wouldnt be a fight between the two.
“You arent taking-” Jimin said
“Just go away” Minjeong said before closing the door, however Jimin stopped her
“We arent going anywhere” Jimin said
“You dont understand, i dont want to talk to you or her.” Minjeong said
“Why?” Jimin asked “Are you jealous?”
“Of Y/n becoming closer to you…no?” Minjeong said
“Really? Why have you been ignoring her then?” Jimin asked
You saw Minjeong go quiet, you knew she didnt have a reason as to why she has been ignoring you. Both of you waited for Minjeong to answer before she hugged you.
“Im sorry-” Minjeong said
“Its fine” You said “It really is.”
“It is?” Minjeong asked
“It is.” You answered
“Glad thats settled!” Jimin said “Now…both of you can have a date!”
“What date?” Minjeong asked
“Didnt you have a plant to take Y/n out on a date?” Jimin asked
“No!” Minjeong said
“On a romantic date even” Jimin teased
“Jimin!” Minjeong said
“And confess in the-” Jimin said
“Alright enough, see you tomorrow!” Minjeong said before closing the door in front of you two and locking it.
The rest of the night was spent with you just relaxing and scrolling through your phone. However the next day was different you noticed how Jimin, Minjeong or even her friend group was nowhere. However you didnt really care you just went on about your day.
However after school ended as well as the first week you received a text from an unknown number.
???: hello
y/n: whos this?
???: guess
y/n: idk
???: guess!!
y/n: jimin?
jimin: yes
y/n: what do u want
jimin: come to minj
y/n: alr
You quickly packed, threw on your jacket and rushed to Minjeong’s apartment. You didnt really bother knocking so you just rushed in to be met with the girls sitting on the floor.
“Whats this about?” You asked
“So we have a question” Aeri said
“Go on” You said
“Jimin?” Aeri said
“Why me?” Jimin asked “Would you be interested in joining our volleyball team?”
“What? Seriously?” You asked
“Yeah” Jimin answered “We thought about this for a long time-”
“But you have only seen me play once” You said
“And i thought it was good enough” Jimin said
“We.” Ning corrected her
“Sure” Jimin said “So?”
“Yes. Yes, I will join!” You said
“Awesome!” Jimin said
You were sort of grateful that you would be joining the volleyball team with them, but at the same time you havent played volleyball in months.
Your school was planning a volleyball tournament and to your luck you would be playing in it!
“Hey…can i talk to you?” Minjeong asked
“Yeah sure” Jimin said
“So…this is about Y/n” Minjeong said
“Go on” Jimin said putting her phone down
“I have a massive crush on her” Minjeong said “And i want to confess to her after the tournament”
“Right.” Jimin said “Huh?” Minjeong said “Do you also have a crush on her? Did you want to confess to her? Oh god-”
“Relax, are you sure you want to do this right now?” Jimin asked to which Minjeong nodded
“Okay listen” Jimin said “Havent you noticed that she has been waiting for you to confess for a while now?”
“No” Minjeong answered
“Listen, she has a crush on your and you also have a crush on her” Jimin said “Just go confess”
“Right now?” Minjeong asked
“Yes. Right now.” Jimin said
“B-but i cant” Minjeong said
“You can” Jimin said
“No-” Minjeong said
“I will go call Y/n” Jimin said before exiting the room. Minjeong was nervous as she didnt expect all of this to happen right now. However she waited for a bit before you did arrive.
“You wanted to talk?” You asked
“Yes” Minjeong answered
“What about?” You asked
“Well…Y/n.” Minjeong said before holding your hands “I have been feeling different towards you, i know that the moves that i have shown you-”
“I love you too.” You said it, you didnt really know if she also feels the same maybe this is about something else but you had to get it off your chest for once.
“You do?” Minjeong asked
“Oh since we met” You said
“Oh my god!” Minjeong said “Im so glad you also like me!”
“Me too” You answered
“I think the only logical choice now would be…a kiss?” Minjeong said
“Uh yeah right!” You said
“This will be my first time kissing someone” Minjeong said before connecting the distance in a sweet kiss. This was the first time for both of you, however it would be one to remember. You werent sure how long until Jimin, Aeri or even Ning or anyone else would come into the room but that wasnt the point right now. The point was Minjeong being in your arms, the girl you crushed on, dreamed about and imagined a whole future.
“Wow” Minjeong said
“You havent said it” You said
“I love you” Minjeong said “We have a whole future ahead now!”
“Together!” You said
“Only us against everyone else!” Minjeong said
“Im so in love” You said
“I know we have a lesson…but do you want to come to my place now?” Minjeong asked “My parents wont be home until 10pm so we have enough time”
“My parents would kill me…but since its with you” You said “Lets do it”
“Oh my god! I can say that i spent time with my girlfriend instead of my friend!” Minjeong said before pulling you out of the room to be met with Aeri, Ning and Jimin.
“Official?” Ning asked
“Official.” You answered
“So…was it that scary?” Jimin asked
“Nope” Minjeong answered
“Told you!” Jimin said
“So lets skip classes?” Aeri said
“Yes!” Jimin said
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hi hi hi!!! i saw that you were open to shadow and bone requests and i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a nikolai lantsov imagine? just imagine princess!reader being forced into an arranged marriage with the second son of the king of ravka, and instead of going through with it she runs away. she then stumbles upon a particularly charming privateer who just so manages to win over her heart……
Enchanted
Request: hi hi hi!!! i saw that you were open to shadow and bone requests and i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a nikolai lantsov imagine? just imagine princess!reader being forced into an arranged marriage with the second son of the king of ravka, and instead of going through with it she runs away. she then stumbles upon a particularly charming privateer who just so manages to win over her heart…
and: btw I saw your post about sab season 2 and i would like to request something with nikolai. i dont really have any ideas but i love that blonde boy so anything that you'll write with him is going to make me happy- but if its angst please im begging for a happy ending im already depressed because im reading rules of wolves
and: omg omg omg enchanted x nikolai sounds so perfect 😭 literally written for him
Hi! I absolutely adore these requests, thank you for sending them in. And sorry for the long wait, I’ve been a bit busy. And please bear with me while I try and get the hang of writing for Nikolai, this is only my second time. Also, this request was combined with two others, I hope that’s alright, and sorry for anyone who’s request was altered a little bit to fit this story. I’m happy to accept another request if you don’t like this one. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! 
(Warnings: arranged marriage, swearing, very very brief angst, very vague suggestive content, drinking, let me know if i missed anything)
You had nearly begged on your knees when you found out you were to be wed, pleading with your parents’ advisors. 
You were no fool. You knew that one day you’d have to marry, and you were prepared to do your duty. A Princess isn’t awarded the luxury of a choice, and you knew any match that was made probably wouldn’t be from a place of love. But you never thought your parents would be prepared to ship you off to a man none of you had ever even laid eyes on, and that’s including the advisors.
A second son, and a rumored bastard at that. It was all happening too fast, and you weren’t having an easy time processing it. 
“You can’t send me! We already have an alliance with Ravka, why send me still?”
One of the men had stood, trying to ease you. “You must go, Princess. We may have an alliance, but our forces need to be strengthened. Prince Vasily is already spoken for. Marrying you to Prince Nikolai is the fastest way.”
“I am told he is charming, if it is any consolation,” another man said, though his voice was firmer. “It is time, Princess, for you to do your duty. You will marry.”
You finally relented, your fate beginning to set in. “That’s it, then. When will I be expected to leave?”
There was a moment of silence, and an awkward shuffling of feet as the advisors stood. And then one of the men spoke, sending dread running through you like ice in your veins. 
“Your arrival is set for the end of the week. The King and Queen are expecting you.”
The journey passed far quicker than you had anticipated. A trip like that should have been grueling, yet each moment felt more fleeting than the last. By the time you arrived on Ravkan soil, you would practically be theirs. Upon your arrival, you were escorted to the Great Hall to meet the King and Queen. 
“Moi tsar,” you curtsied, keeping your eyes low. “Moi tsaritsa. It is an honor.”
The words tasted sour on your tongue, but you spoke them anyway. The King and Queen were not known to be the kindest of people, and you’d rather spend your time in a foreign country on the good side of the sovereign. 
“Princess,” the King greeted as he stood, his eyes racking your body. “You are as beautiful as they say. My son will be pleased. Unfortunately, your arrival has preceded his. He attended a meeting with our generals, and is set to arrive in a few days. The wedding will be in a fortnight. Until then, please enjoy our hospitality. I look forward to this new found alliance between our great countries.”
“As do I,” you said, forcing a smile. 
As the days passed, you grew more uneasy. The weight of your duties were beginning to drag you down, and you didn’t know if you could bear the burden any longer. 
Nikolai had yet to return to court, but with his inevitable arrival looming, it became harder to face each day. You were practically alone in the castle, having yet to make any friends. And you doubted the arrival of a Prince—the subject of scandalous rumors—would do anything to lessen the loneliness and fear you felt every night. 
One evening, the pressure became too great.
Despite your duties, and the anger you knew both countries would feel towards you, you fled. It was a rash decision, and a stupid one at that. But it was the only option that could give you your freedom, so you took it.
It led you all the way down to the harbor, which you briskly made your way to with little more than the clothes on your back.
Your window of opportunity was closing, and you took it. In mere hours, someone would notice you were missing from your room. Guards would be sent all throughout the palace, and they’d track you down if you weren’t quick enough. One way or another, you would marry the second Prince of Ravka. You’d be forced to. And although the thought of being alone in an open country you knew next to nothing about terrified you, it was less terrifying than the thought of being trapped in that castle forever. 
So you went. Fled, more accurately. All the way to the harbor, in nothing but a dress and cloak, with a bag of coins hidden in your skirts. 
As you approached the harbor, the shout of guards could be heard in the distance. “Spread out! She cannot have gone far.”
The Kingsguard.
You felt your chest tighten as you quickened your pace, pulling your hood over your head. You rushed as inconspicuously as you could, clambering to get as far from the palace as possible. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your wrist. 
“What’s the rush for, My Lady? You’re going to hurt yourself running in those shoes,” the woman said, her brows furrowing.
You stopped in your tracks to take her in, realizing she was standing next to a much larger man. She had axes sheathed at her waist, and a confused but intrigued grin. 
“Please, excuse me—” You stuttered out, trying to pull away.
“There’s no need to be afraid,” the man said, in a tone much gentler than his appearance. “We mean you no harm. What are you running from?”
“I need to get away from here, and fast,” you pleaded, deciding to trust these people who stopped you. 
“That wasn’t an answer to our question,” the woman said, easing her grip. 
You let out a frustrated sigh, turning to look over your shoulder before turning back. “Please, I’ll pay you whatever you want. Just let me go. I have to get out of here, and quickly.”
The woman shared a glance with the man, and for a minute, you were beginning to think you had been found out. They somehow recognized you, and would know that the castle guards were looking for you. If that was true, the pair didn’t show it, looking back at you. 
“We have a ship,” the man finally said, gesturing behind him. “And a captain. A name you’d perhaps recognize. Sturmhond.”
Sturmhond, you thought to yourself. The richest pirate on the True Sea? What was he doing in a port in Ravka? You shook your head, having no time for questions. 
“Would he grant me safe passage? I can pay, I have the means. Please, I need to know if this is my only option of getting out of here. I haven’t done anything illegal, I promise. I just need to go.”
The woman laughed, her relaxed disposition beginning to ease you. “Illegal would have been more fun. Don’t worry, Princess. We’ll take you to our captain. You’ll be safe with us.”
Your eyes widened, and you stepped back to retreat, when the man raised his hands in surrender. 
“We mean you no harm, Princess. Clearly, you’re in trouble, and we have the means to get you away from the palace.”
“Trust me,” the woman said, offering you her hand. “We have no wish to return to the palace.. I’m sure our captain isn’t too keen, either.”
You looked between the ship and back at the castle uneasily, when you heard another shout coming from the guards marching through the village. You turned towards the man and woman, who you just realized looked very similar. Siblings, perhaps, who had just gotten back from a journey at sea.
“Sturmhond is quite the character, but he’s a good man. You have my word,” the man said. 
“Alright,” you said, making your decision as you took the woman’s hand. “I’ll go. Thank you, uh…”
You trailed off, making the man smile. He led you towards a nearby ship, helping you climb your way onto it. 
“I’m Tolya, and that’s my sister Tamar. We’re part of Sturmhond’s crew. Come along, he’ll want to meet you.”
They quickly led you aboard a ship, ushering the crew to cast off. The crew looked around with confused faces, but listened anyway. As the ship slowly left the harbor, you were led downstairs to the cabins below. 
“Captain,” Tamar called, knocking on the first doorway below deck, before opening the door herself. 
“Do you want to tell me why my ship is moving away from the dock?” Sturmhond asked without turning around, shuffling through his cabin as he pulled on his coat. 
You cleared your throat. “That would be because of me, I think.”
Sturmhond turned around at the sound of your voice, his eyes widening as he took you in. “I don’t believe it. Good evening, Princess. I do hope you are well. Tamar and Tolya have treated you kindly, I expect?”
You shrunk under his gaze, letting out a nervous chuckle. “Is my title that easy to spot? You’re the second to figure it out, is it something I’m doing?”
“Tamar has a keen eye,” Sturmond shrugged, grinning. “But you’re also wearing an evening gown fit for court, and the jewels around your neck could buy a small country. Those things aren’t exactly subtle, darling. Even with that cloak.”
You nodded, still nervous but relaxing with his calm demeanor. “I was told you could grant me passage away from the palace? I can pay, I don’t expect you to do this out of the kindness of your heart. But seeing as we’ve already left the harbor, I don’t think you have any other option but to take me with you. Unless you intend on throwing me overboard into the bay, although I’ll thank you kindly not to do that.”
“In that dress? You’d sink to the bottom, darling. There’s no need to worry, Princess. You’ll stay dry on deck, that I can assure you,” he chuckled, motioning for you to sit. 
“We’ll inform the crew our trip has been extended,” Tamar announced, pulling Tolya behind her to leave the cabin. 
You sat in the chair on the other side of Sturmhond’s desk, and he sat across from you. He offered you a kind smile, one that surprised you. You had heard plenty about the infamous privateer. You hadn’t expected him to be this young and handsome. His reputation matched that of an old tycoon, not of what appeared to be an ex soldier. He looked at you with curiosity, motioning for you to speak. 
“So, would you like to explain to me why my ship is sailing back out to sea? Not that I’m upset or anything, I was dreading my return to Ravka myself. But as I understand it, you were asked to come to Ravka to strengthen a political alliance—”
“And how would you know about that?” You interrupted, raising a brow. 
He smiled, shrugging. “I have my ways. It pays to know lots of things about lots of things. Including which Princesses are being married off to far away royalty.”
“Do you know him?” You asked, your voice a little unstable. “The Prince, I mean. Nikolai. I could hardly find anyone who knew him, and any knowledge of him was limited. I went into this alliance blind, thanks to my parents and advisors.”
Sturmhond’s grin widened as he nodded. “I do know him, yes. We were briefly acquainted some time ago.”
“And?”
“He’s alright,” Sturmhond laughed, leaning back in his seat. “Dashingly handsome. A bit cocky for my taste, perhaps a little spoiled, but what royalty isn’t, right? No offense.”
You smiled, shaking your head. “None taken.”
“I suppose you’re lucky in that you’re set to marry him, and not the Crown Prince. Vasily is—how should I put this—well…”
“A bastard?” You finished, making Sturmhond chuckle, nodding. 
“He is, yes. Nikolai is, in another manner of speaking, the same as well. Is that why you’re running? You don’t want to risk your reputation on a second son who may not even be the second son?”
Sturmhond looked at you through curious eyes, although there was a little apprehension in them. A little vulnerability that you didn’t quite know what to make of. You shook your head, inadvertently easing his thoughts. 
“It’s just rumors, Sturmhond. Whether there is any truth to them, I don’t know, and I don’t care. History records names, not blood. A true Lantsov or not, it doesn’t matter to me. It’s not Nikolai’s fault who his true parents are, and he shouldn’t have to bear the consequences of their actions. All that matters to my parents is what he means for my country. His reputation doesn’t affect that.”
“And what matters to you?” Sturmhond asked, his eyes softening. “Your secrets are safe with me, and I promise to not throw you overboard for whatever your answers are. Why are you running, Princess?”
You sat in silence for a moment, letting out a heavy sigh. Sturmhond politely waisted for you to start, nodding encouragingly for you to speak. 
You fiddled with your hands in your lap nervously. “Nikolai’s blood doesn’t matter to me, truly. All that really matters is that he has a kind heart, and he makes living at Ravkan court for the rest of my life more bearable.” 
Sturmhond nodded as he listened intently. You continued.
“From what I hear, he’s a perfectly good man. Compared to my list of options, he was probably the best I could have hoped for.”
“Was? Or is? Do you intend on running forever? Seems like a waste of time in what is already a fleeting existence, Princess,” he said quietly. 
“I know,” you nodded, growing frustrated. “I don’t know why I did it. I just thought about being alone at court for the rest of my life, and even the promise of a semi decent Prince wasn’t enough to ease my fears. I just wanted control over my own life for once, you know? My own freedom. It was a rash decision, I admit. But it seems to be working well in my favor so far.”
Sturmhond nodded, standing up from his desk to pour two glasses of whiskey. You downed yours the second he placed it in front of you, deciding it was better to let the second one sit when he refilled your glass.
“And Nikolai? What are his thoughts on the matter?”
You shrugged, fiddling with the glass. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been at court since I arrived. I have yet to meet him. Although, once he hears of me running, I’m sure any first impressions he could have had of me are ruined.”
“I don’t know about that.”
You raised a brow, coaxing him to continue. “Really? Why is that?”
“From what I hear, Nikolai isn’t really one for court, either,” he started, shrugging. “He runs when he gets the chance, too. Why do you think he’s away from court so often?”
You pondered the thought for a minute. “I don’t know. I always assumed his duties took him elsewhere. He’s not the Crown Prince, so he doesn’t need to remain in the palace. He serves in the First Army, doesn’t he?”
Sturmhond nodded, grinning. “He does. Or, to put it more accurately, he did. I think he just loiters around neighboring countries until his Mother forces him to come home and make an appearance now.”
You chuckled, letting out a deep sigh. “Isn’t that a treat? Coming home for the first time in months, only to find out your bride to be has run away.”
“With a face like that, I doubt he’ll care much about anything once he sees you.” 
You felt the heat creep to your cheeks at his words, setting your eyes to your lap to avoid Sturmhond’s heavy gaze. You could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he breathed out a laugh. 
“Besides, I’m told the Prince isn’t expected back at court for a few more days. Plenty of time for you to decide whether or not you want me to turn this ship around. Who would I be to deny a Princess?”
You smiled, your voice soft. “And if I don’t want to turn around?”
“Well, you’re paying me. I don’t really care either way, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go,” he said, grinning as he topped your glass off. “But just between you and me, I’d do it for free. Anything for a pretty face like that. Just don’t go telling everyone I said that, I have a reputation to maintain.”
You laughed, nodding. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”
You spent the next few days on the ship, feeling more and more at ease the further you made it from Ravkan shores. 
At night, you longed for home. 
Not for you parents, or any of their advisors. But for your own bed—not on a constantly rocking ship—and the familiar trill of the birds outside your window on dewy mornings. For the library in the East Wing people seemed to forget was even there, and the soup the cooks would make when a chill was in the air. For the gardens midmorning where you could escape to when you wanted to avoid all the guards constantly watching you. 
Sturmhond did a good job at keeping you distracted from saddening thoughts, though. It was sweet of him, really. Making sure you had someone with you during the day, taking all his meals with you in the evening. 
Your time on the ship was the most relaxed you had been in a long time, actually, which you attributed to him. 
Sturmhond had quite the representation amongst high society—or any society, really—and he certainly met your expectations. He was charming, and attractive. Clever and ambitious, like everyone said he was. 
You hadn’t expected him to be as attentive as he is, however. He seemed to really enjoy a new guest on the ship, one that could keep up with his banter. He didn’t make you feel like a burden like your parents so often did, actually including you in his daily routine. 
Tolya and Tamar were great, too. Kind, and funny. Fiercely loyal and protective, both of their captain and of each other. They were the kind of friends you hoped to make during your time in Ravka. 
So far, it was off to a good start. 
As the days moved on, you found yourself growing closer to Sturmhond. You tried to stop yourself in the beginning. Despite not wanting it for yourself, you were engaged to Nikolai. Falling for another man wasn’t exactly a good thing for your future
But that damned smile.
His ridiculously attractive smile, and his stupid mop of hair that had only gotten longer from his time at sea. The infuriating way he’d look at you and make you want to shrink away from his gaze, but you could never bring yourself to look away. The obnoxious green emerald ring he wore that could probably buy a small village.
He had charmed you, despite your reservations, and you were practically head over heels. It scared the absolute shit out of you. 
Tamar had of course noticed already, confronting you about it one night after dinner. She joined you on deck, sitting next to you on a crate as you watched the stars twinkle in the sky. They were so visible out at sea, away from all the lights and clutter of the cities. 
“You’re not hiding anything from me, you know,” she smirked, sneaking your flask away to take a few sips from it. 
You feigned innocence, shaking your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tamar.”
“Come on, darling. Let’s skip the bluffing…you like him. It’s so obvious.”
“Saints, I hope not,” you groaned, scrunching your nose up at the thought of Sturmhond finding out. 
Tamar grinned at your embarrassment, chuckling. “Don’t worry. I may not swing that way, but I know the look when I see it. He’s all puppy dog eyes and desperate looks of longing when he sees you. It’s gross, really. I can actually hear his heart skip a beat when he sees you. He likes you, too. I’d stake money on it.”
You swallowed down your excitement, trying to think rationally. “Don’t even joke about that, it’s not funny.”
“I’m serious! You’re a catch, Princess. He may be my captain, but he’d be a fool not to want you.”
“That’s sweet of you to say, but we can stop there,” you nervously chuckled. “We don’t need this going to my head. I’ll do something stupid like staying on this boat forever.”
She grinned, nudging your shoulder with hers. “Would that be so bad?”
The next few days, you couldn’t get Tamar’s words out of your head. You went on with your routine with Sturmhond as usual, trying not to put much thought into it. 
Your feelings for him were true, that’s for sure. 
And when you’d catch him looking at you from across the deck, you’d swear by the look in his eye that he felt something for you, too. What it was, exactly, you didn’t know. 
But it was something. 
On your last evening before you had to make a decision about where you wanted to go, you skipped dinner. You couldn’t bring yourself to go along with your usual banter with Sturmhond, beginning to feel guilty about just how close and comfortable you’d gotten with him. 
You still had a duty to your country and your family, which meant at least a little to you. Plus, it wasn’t fair to make a promise to Prince Nikolai, only to leave him hanging when he returned to Ravka. 
You were leaning against the deck railing, watching the way the moonlight bounced over the still waters. So lost in thought, you almost didn’t register Sturmhond’s approaching footsteps. 
“A bit chilly for stargazing, isn’t it?” He asked, coming to stand next to you. 
You turned to see him, smiling when you noticed he was wearing his signature blue coat. You couldn’t remember a time since you met that he wasn’t dressed to the nines, no matter what time of day it was. 
“You know, for a pirate, you don’t really look like one.” 
He grinned, gently correcting you. “A privateer, darling, not a pirate. There’s a difference, I assure you.”
“Ah, a privateer. How could I have forgotten?” You chuckled, hugging yourself in an effort to shield your arms from the biting cold. “But seriously. The emerald on your finger is the size of a walnut, and that coat is fit for royalty. I find it hard to believe a privateer does well enough to afford things as nice as those.”
“Maybe I’m just good at my job,” he retorted, that signature smirk on his face.
It was enough to stir butterflies in your stomach, making you turn to look back out at the water. His gaze lingered on you a moment, and you could feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks under the weight of his stare. 
“You’re cold,” he observed, breaking the silence.
“I’m fine,” you tried to say, but Sturmhond interrupted you.
“I can practically hear your teeth chattering,” he laughed, shrugging his coat from his shoulders. “Here. Seeing as my coat is fit for royalty, as you say, I think it’ll suit you better.”
“Sturmhond—”
“Princess,” he mirrored, smirking when you relented, letting him place it around your shoulders. 
“Thank you,” you said softly.
You turned away from the water to face him, leaning back against the bannister. His eyes flitted up and down your form at his coat wrapped around shoulders, before his eyes met yours. He took a seat on the crate behind him, leaning back and settling into the post next to him. It was quiet a moment before he finally spoke.
“You weren’t in your cabin at dinner. Where have you been?”
You sighed, fiddling with the sleeve of his coat. “Thinking.”
“Thinking? About what?”
“About my future,” you said shakily, shoulders slumping. “Both the imminent one, and the one to follow based on what I decide tonight.”
Sturmhond nodded, seemingly lost in thought. “I’ve been thinking about that, too, if I’m being honest.”
You raised a brow at his words. He’d been thinking about your future? He’d been thinking about you? The thought was both intriguing and terrifying, and you hoped the confusion on your face wasn’t too apparent.
“Well, I…I’m sorry, what?”
“Your future directly impacts me,” he quickly corrected, suddenly steeling his face and meeting your confusion with his usual grin. “Where you go I go, remember? You are paying me, after all.”
You tried to hide your disappointment, forcing a smile. It was a foolish hope to have, that he’d think something more of you. But it wasn’t a hope you were ready to give up. 
Not just yet, at least. 
He seemed to notice your disappointment, brows furrowing. “Have I upset you?”
“No,” you quickly replied, trying to brush it off with a laugh. “No, it’s not you. I’m just not quite sure what I should do. I know you need an answer, and Ravka needs an answer, but…I don’t have one yet.”
“Why?” 
You shook your head, sighing in frustration. “Earlier, I had more than halfway made up my mind. I value my freedom, but I think I value my dignity more. I don’t think I could go anywhere and face anyone, knowing I’ve turned my back on my duties. It may have not been a promise I made for myself personally, but it is a promise I had every intention of keeping.”
“Then what’s stopping you?” He asked, a genuine look of concern on his face.
His eyes softened on you as your face fell, and you turned away from him as you felt heat creep up to your cheeks. You could hear him stand and approach you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. 
“Princess?” He asked, only worsening your embarrassment. 
He spoke again, finally getting you to acknowledge him. “You’re worrying me, darling. Surely it cannot be that bad.”
“But it is,” you groaned, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes to stave off the tears you could feel brewing. 
“Try me,” he said gently, carefully placing a hand on your arm. “You can tell me the truth. What’s stopping you from returning to Ravka?”
You could feel his touch even through the coat, which struck you like a punch to the gut when you remembered it was, in fact, his coat you were wearing. And to make it worse, that damned grin was on his face as he spoke with such a genuine kindness in his voice that it made you want to cry. 
You finally met his eyes, taking a sharp breath. Shit, you thought to yourself. You were really going to admit it. He eagerly awaited your response, which you finally managed to utter. 
“You.”
He sucked in a breath, withdrawing his hand. He looked up at the sky for a moment, before taking another breath and turning back to you. 
“Me?” He asked. 
“You,” you said again, exasperatedly laughing. “You, and your ridiculous clothes, and your infuriating charm, and your kindness and ambition…that damned smile.” 
Sturmhond’s cheeks flushed, and he took a step back, although he was grinning like a fool. He couldn’t stop himself if he tried. You didn’t dare speak, waiting for him to say something. After an agonizing moment of silence, he leaned against the bannister, letting out a chuckle.
“What?” You forced yourself to ask, preparing yourself for his answer. 
“Saints, Princess…you’ve gone and done it now.”
You shook your head, your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach. “What?”
“You’ve managed to outdo me. On my own ship. Quite the feat, I’ll give you that,” he laughed, still grinning. 
You narrowed your eyes, still shaking your head. “Sturmhond, I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re saying to me right now. Will you do the honor of enlightening me, or are you going to stand there grinning at me all night?”
“You like my grin,” he mused, making you flush.
He spoke again, saving you from your embarrassment. “And it just so happens that I like yours, too. I like all of you. Very much so indeed, Princess.”
Your heart lurched into your throat at his words, and you had to grab ahold of the bannister behind you to keep yourself steady. He placed his hand over top of yours, his palm warming yours. 
“I cannot believe you beat me to the punch. It’s rude to upstage a captain on his own ship. You’re lucky you’re royalty. I’ll allow it just this once.”
You had just now calmed your breathing, beginning to take in the weight of his words, and what it meant for you both. “Sturmhond, I—”
“I have a confession to make,” he suddenly said in a very serious tone, startling you. “I don’t mean to interrupt you, but I must tell you something before either of us share something we can’t take back.”
“Alright…” You said uneasily. 
Carefully, he took your hand in his, giving it a squeeze. You let him hold it, waiting for him to speak. Absentmindedly, you comfortingly ran your thumb along the back of his hand, silently reassuring him. 
“My name isn’t Sturmhond,” he finally said, the nerves in his voice the worst you had ever heard them. 
Trying not to jump to any hasty conclusions, you nodded, squeezing his hand once more. “Alright…if it isn’t Sturmhond, then what is it?”
“Well, technically it is, but it also isn’t. It’s just a nickname—” He rambled, and you placed your other hand on top of his to stop him. 
“I gathered that much. What else are you trying to tell me? Go on, you can say it.”
He took a deep breath, his voice soft. “It’s true that people call me Sturmhond, but I’m much better known for my birth name…Nikolai. Nikolai Lantsov.”
The realization struck you like a bolt of lightning. You tried not to flinch in his grasp, but you knew he could feel you stiffen. You cleared your throat, feeling your voice begin to grow hoarse
“Nikolai Lantsov…as in Prince Nikolai Lantsov, second son of the Ravkan throne? Moi tsarevich,” you croaked out, attempting to curtsy. 
“Please,” Nikolai said, holding both your hands in his to keep you from bowing. “There is no need for such formalities, darling. If anything, I should be the one bowing to you.”
You stood up straight, shaking your head. “We’re long past that, don’t you think?” 
He chuckled, nodding. “I suppose so.”
The reality of your situation began to set in, and you couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling along with him. He smiled at the sound, raising a brow. 
“What is it?”
“I suppose my little dilemma is solved then,” you said, shrugging. “I was beginning to spiral, thinking my annoying habit of not being able to contain my feelings had ruined any decision I could have made. But of course—in your usual fashion—you’ve managed to upstage me. As is your right, it is your ship, after all. Well, I suppose there’s no decision to make now. At least, I think there isn’t…right?”
Any nerves you had mustered up were immediately squashed when Nikolai brought his hands up to cup your face, running his thumbs across the tops of your cheeks.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I’d take you wherever you wanted to go. All I can hope now is that you’ll allow me to join you…wherever that is.”
You brought a hand up to rest against his wrist. “Don’t you want to go home? You’re expected back in Ravka any day now.”
“I love my country, but I’m in no hurry to return. You’ve told me multiple times how dreadful court was for you—”
“That doesn’t matter,” you quickly said, squeezing his wrist. 
“Of course it does! I cannot ask you to return to a country you’ll be miserable in for the rest of your days for a man you barely know.”
“It’s a good thing you aren’t asking, then,” you reaffirmed, giving him a smile. “I told you. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it. I said that I was afraid I would be all alone at court, and that I was afraid the man I am promised to wouldn’t want a life with me.” 
“What a fool he’d have to be to not want that,” Nikolai joked, making your grin widen.
You continued to reassure him, not convinced that he was believing your words. 
“You say that you’ll follow me wherever I go. Well, I want to go with you. Wherever that is. And I want you to go home. I may have not known you for long, but I’ve been around you long enough to know that you won’t truly be content if you’re tied to my wishes. And I know you’re too stubborn to admit that, so I’ll tell you my wishes, and I need you to believe me. I wish to be with you. I wish for you to return to wherever feels like home, and I wish for you to take me with you. If that’s Ravka, then Ravka will be home. Court will become much more bearable with you there. And if it begins to become too much, I know a certain privateer that can whisk us away for a few days.”
He was doing it again. Smiling like an idiot. He seemed to be in disbelief at your words, this being one of the very few times in his life that he couldn’t find the right words to say. 
“I didn’t mean to trick you, Princess. I should have told you who I was from the beginning.”
You shook your head. “I don’t blame you, Nikolai. If I was given the chance, I wouldn’t have told you who I really was, either. At least, not until I knew I could trust you. I would have done the same as you did. It’s alright.”
“I can’t believe my luck,” he grinned, taking your hand. “How is it that my betrothed managed to stumble upon my ship the very hour I returned to Ravka?”
You shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not one to believe in fate, and it sounds impossible.”
“Not impossible…improbable,” he corrected, smirking when you playfully narrowed your eyes up at him. 
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help but smile at your turn of luck. “Are we doing this? Are you going home to Ravka?”
“Are we going home, you mean? I can’t be expected to abandon my betrothed when she turns out to be the single most invigorating person I’ve ever met, now can I?”
“You cannot,” you agreed.
A comfortable moment of silence passed between you both, and you looked down at his hands as you held them in yours. The familiar glint of green on his finger made you chuckle. 
“I knew it, by the way,” you added, grinning. “This coat and that ring are far too ridiculous for a privateer. They’re fit for royalty. Fit for a Lantsov.”
“Am I to understand that you’re not interested in a Lantsov emerald for your engagement ring?” He asked, smirking when you quickly shook your head.
You laughed, pulling his hand closer to inspect his ring. “I said nothing of the sort. I was merely observing how ridiculous it is, as well as this coat. But I’m still wearing it, aren’t I? If I’m going to be married to a ridiculous man, I should begin preparing now, shouldn’t I?”
He narrowed his eyes, playfully jutting his chin up at you. “You just like the coat and want to keep it. It’s alright, darling, you can admit it. We can have your own fitted for you, all you have to do is ask.”
Nikolai gripped the hem of your sleeve, tugging you closer by the arm of his coat. You let him pull you, chuckling nervously when he drew you nearer. 
“I admit nothing, only that my future husband has a taste I will have to acquire. But I’m sure I’m up for the task. We have all the time in the world now, don’t we?”
“We do,” he smiled, settling his hands around your waist. “Although I’ll have to admit, I don’t think we know each other well enough to become husband and wife.”
You tensed under his hold, and he quickly retracted his statement, shaking his head. He didn’t give you enough time to truly panic, interrupting your train of thought. 
“And that’s perfectly fine, darling. Like you said, we have all the time in the world to get to know each other. I think I’d like to take advantage of that starting now. After all, it is our last night on the ship, isn’t it? At least, I assume it is. I expect you’ll want to set a course for Ravka now. Unless you’d rather I get down on one knee, and make a big show of it first. I can do that, if you wish.”
“I certainly wouldn’t stop you,” you chuckled, letting your hands rest on top of his as your tone shifted to a more serious note. “Are we really doing this, Nikolai? Returning to Ravka? Getting married?”
He smiled wider, a twinkle in his eye as he looked down at you. “I’ve wanted you since the moment you stepped foot on my ship, the second I laid eyes on you. And I’ve wanted you more every day since. I’m not one to believe in fate either, but I do think the Saints may have gifted you to me. Who knows what I did to deserve it, but you most definitely won’t find me questioning their will if you’re the result.”
You felt your heart swell at his words. He was right. Of all the ships in the harbor, his was the one you found yourself on. Of all the captains in Ravka, he was the one who took you in. The man you were supposed to marry, and you found yourself falling for him long before you even knew who he truly was. If that isn’t fate, then what is?
“I’ll take all the influence from the Saints I can get when it comes to explaining to your parents why I’ve disappeared right out from under them,” you said with a groan, leaning into him. 
Nikolai chuckled, holding you close. “My Mother will forget all about it when she sees my future safely secured with marriage. There is no need to worry, trust me.”
“I may not have to worry about her, but I do need to worry about Tamar,” you said, letting out a pained chuckle. “I think she staked money on our little situation.”
“She most definitely did. I expect Tolya will be paying up when they hear the news. Who should break it to him?”
You grinned, shaking your head. “I think that duty lies with you, as my future husband. If I’m going to have to listen to Tamar’s endless bragging about being right, then you should have to take half the burden in the form of telling Tolya. That’s how marriage works, isn’t it? Half and half. It’s only fair.”
It was his turn to groan now as he pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, taking yours in the other. 
“Alright, I’ll do it, but you have to accompany me. I think your presence will help soften the blow. What do you say, darling? After all…it’s only fair.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, squeezing his hand. “If I must. You’re lucky you’re pretty, Lantsov.”
“Darling, I’m lucky for a lot more than that,” he smiled endearingly, and you couldn’t help but smile back.
— A/N - Hi! This is SO long, I’m so sorry. And I’m so sorry for taking so long to get this out, I’ve been busy and had no time to write. But I finally forced myself to get this done, and now I have more time to write! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, let me know what you think! Thank you again for the requests :)
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norrisjpg · 25 days
Text
parenthood - ʟɴ⁴
in which, lando gets a different kind of package deal.
contains: social media, swearing, lando being whipped, death of reader's pet (no description), hard launching.
lando norris x reader
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november, 2023.
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liked by yourusername, maxfewtrell, and 491,302 others
landonorris ... a well spent weekend away with my favourite animals on the planet
view comments ... yourusername ... uhh fuck you?
↳ liked by landonorris
user1 ... you cannot tell me they aren't dating
user2 ... waiting for the day that they hard launch and i'll still die
user3 ... why does lando even spend time with her? she's a waste of space honestly
↳ liked by yourusername
yourusername ... no more nellie cuddles for you bitch
↳ landonorris … NO IM SO SORRY DONT DEPRIVE ME
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen33, and 391,194 others
yourusername ... nellie, my sweet girl, how i am going to miss you.
as many of you know, i have had the pleasure of spending every single day with my best friend for the past eleven years, and unfortunately, yesterday was our final day together. nellie was a character, and as i'm sure a lot of you also know, she hated max fewtrell with a passion, and i'm still not sure why to this day. i took her to all of her favourite places yesterday - the beach, lando's house, the park, the pup-cup stand, and i even let her attack max one final time. i hope they've saved you a huge bed in heaven, because the amount of times you pushed me out of the bed is astonishing.
i will look for you in my next life time, my pretty girl, sleep tight angel.
view comments ...
yourusername ... i would also like to disclose that i will be inactive on social media for the next few weeks (at least) due to these circumstances, please respect my privacy and let me grieve in peace.
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landonorris ... i would like to send my deepest condolences to all who ever had the pleasure of interacting with nellie. i genuinely have only cried like i did yesterday in the vet on one other occasion - i feel as if i have lost a large part of my life.
i myself will also be inactive on social media for the next few days, as there are other people in my life i wish to fully focus my attention on, please respect my privacy over this time, thankyou.
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august, 2024.
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liked by lnfour, fia.official, yourusername, and 1,871,404 others
landonorris ... yup 🏆 more like it
view comments ...
yourusername ... so proud of you lan!!
user1 ... ARE WE IGNORING THE FACT SHE'S CASUALLY BEING POSTED ON HIS MAIN ALL THE TIME????
user2 ... WHEN IS THIS MAN GOING TO HARD LAUNCH THEM
maxfewtrell ... proper job this weekend brother. put your shirt back on 🔥
↳ yourusername … 2 wins and he’s a WHORE
↳ user1 … i fucking love her she’s one of us
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september, 2024.
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liked by yourusername, maxfewtrell, and 871,932 others
landonorris ... so, i might have said i couldn't get a dog without a girlfriend - so why not get two dogs and a best friend for a gorgeous girlfriend?
view comments ...
yourusername ... gorgeous, huh?
↳ landonorris ... i guess she's alright to look at
↳ yourusername ... guess who's sleeping in the dog beds!!
↳ landonorris ... sonny and juno??
↳ yourusername ... no honey
user1 ... OH MY FUCKING GOD EVERYBODY STAY CALM ITS HAPPENING
user2 ... FLIPPING HECK WE GET DAD LANDO AND BOYFRIEND LANDO I CAN'T COPE RN HELP ME PLS
user3 ... I CAN'T DO THIS THEY'RE SO CUTE (THEM AND THE PUPPIES)
maxverstappen33 ... proud to announce i knew this six months ago
↳ user1 ... SIX MONTHS AGO?!?!?!
↳ yourusername ... max you weren't supposed to say that
↳ landonorris ... this is why we don't tell you anything mate
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yourusername ... sun, sea, and my favourite animals ☀️🌊🐾
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landonorris ... fuck you??
↳ yourusername ... okay??
user1 ... i am a sonny and juno defender till i die
user2 ... i don't know what we've done to deserve this couple but i'm gonna turn relgious because THANK YOU GOD THANK YOU
landonorris ... this was like buy 2 get 1 free i love it
↳ yourusername ... die??
↳ liked by landonorris
...
this has actually been my favourite one to write so far, even though i cried writing the nellie paragraph for some reason. also, let me know if you want a part 2?? i'm thinking of something like lando proposing to her and them getting married and stuff - maybe like a mini social media series? let me know!!
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Text
Tryna Smoke
paring: soft dom!ellie x sub!reader
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cw: smoking, strap riding, slight teasing, praising
summary: after not seeing each other for a few weeks you and ellie hang out and smoke together but theres alot of pent up tension the two of you have been holding out on
you were on your way to your girlfriend ellies house, both of you were super excited because its felt forever since the two of you could actually be alone together.
as youre walking down the street you shot ellie a text letting her know you were almost there, she replied telling you to hurry up or else she'll die. shes always such a dramatic but you found it cute.
before you could reach the door to knock it flew open and you were met with an ecstatic ellie. you both threw your arms in the air before holding each other tight in a much needed hug "omg babe i miss you so much" she said as she stood up straight.
you returned her cheesy smile "i know im so amazing" you said jokingly rolling your eyes.
"oh whatever" she said with a small laugh "cmon in and meet me upstairs alright?" she moved to the side giving you room to come in and you do.
you turn around to look at ellie, "dont take too long, yk a girl is impatient" you said and gave her a kiss on the cheek before heading upstairs to her room"
after a few moments of you getting comfortable in her bed ellie walked in with a princess lunchbox that she uses to hold her weed, wraps, lighters and shit like that. you always thought it was the funniest thing ever.
"you tryna smoke?" she asked as she held the box up before sitting down next to you "uh hell yeah i am" you say shifting your body to face her. she opens the box up and sat everything down on her rolling tin and started rolling a few joints.
you watched her hands and the way she gripped the grinder, how she licked the paper and how her fingers worked while she rolled them. she noticed you absolutely gawking at her as she was rolling, "youre staring baby" she whispered to you and you jumped out of your daze. "nuh uh no i wasnt" you said looking away "id wanna look at me too dont worry" she said being a total smartass for earlier.
"asshole" you said trying to cover it with a cough.
she lit two up as soon as she finished the last joint and handed you the other, she was never one to share to be honest. "you're so stingy williams" you said jokingly as she put everything away.
while the two of you were talking about nonsense you didn't even realize how close you two were physically. finishing off the joint she sparked ellie looked at you for a second not saying anything, which is normal because ellie tends to be the quiet type when high.
you noticed her face inching in on yours and without saying anything she kissed you, resting her hand on your face pulling you in. you place your hands on her thighs softly gripping them as she deepened the kiss.
she pulls out of the kiss and quickly pulls her shirt off and you follow behind doing the same going back into the kiss afterwards.
"stay here and take these off" ellie mumbled against your lips before walking over to her dresser. she pulled out her black strap, youve heard her mention having one but she never showed it to you. you looked at it for a bit and assumed it was like 6ish inches maybe 7.
"hey why dont you light another one for us babe" she said while she took her jeans off and put the strap on.
you listened and lit another one, taking a few hits she comes over to the edge of the bed and crawled up next to you sitting back slightly. she pulled you over to her and you sat on her thigh, you leaned over to her and shot gunned the blunt you lit.
"fuck that was hot" ellie said as ran her hands up and down your body. "youre hot" you said taking another hit before kissing her.
youd never be this confident in doing any of this sober, ellie knows how shy you can be but she also knows the things you can really do and handle.
you started rocking your hips back n forth grinding on her thigh. "fuck baby youre already so wet for me" she huffed out.
ellie wanted you more by the second just from the sight of you. you riding her leg, face flushed red, moaning out quiet profanities.
she grabbed your leg bringing it over so you were in a straddling position. hovering over her strap she looked up at you with wanting eyes, "c'mon and take my cock like i know you can baby"
the rasp in her voice sent a swarm of butterflies to fit your stomach up. you started lowering yourself down on her and gripping her shoulders for support "take your time pretty" she whispered to you taking the blunt from you hitting it a few times before putting it out.
you moaned out ellies name as you fully sunk down on her, "fuck its so big" you stuttered out.
you were slowly rocking your hips against her getting used to the feeling, once comfortable you started bouncing down, "oh my god fuck" ellie moaned "e-everything okay?" you said between moans. she nodded in response "i just.. fuck-" she was cut off by her moans, her grip intensified on you "i didnt expect it to grind against my clit like that, shit." she grunted out.
"fuck you look so good riding me" she grabbed your neck and pulled you into a kiss, reaching her free hand down she started rubbing your throbbing clit with her thumb. both of your moans fill up the room
you throw your head back at the sudden contact, youre sensitive and ellie loves to take advantage of that. she loves seeing you fall apart at her disposal.
she brought your face back to meet hers "i wanna see you while im fucking you." the sudden assertiveness in her voice made you go faster, babbling nonsense as ellie began thrusting her hips upwards trying to match your rhythm.
"e-ellie m'gonna.. fuck" you stuttered out. her hands found their way back to your hips as her thrusts got faster. "hold it in." she demanded "w-what?" you question her "you heard me baby" she grunted out as she flippped the two of you over, not moving from inside of you.
she straightened herself and continued thrusting. placing her hand on your lower stomach, she applied pressure causing you to whimper her name.
"youre taking me so good baby" she grunted.
she threw your leg over her shoulder going deeper, hitting all the right places. her hands ran up and down your legs before stopping at your core, her thumb teased your clit making your body jolt at the random contact.
her thrusts became more sloppy and both of your moans grew louder as she got closer "my god.. cmon pretty cum for me.." she could barely speak. seeing her break sent you over the edge.
your nails dug into ellies thighs, and your back arched as you came all over ellies length, she started mumbling curse words under breath as she finished right after you.
ellie pulled out of you and huffled trying to catch her breath. she looked down at the mess she made of you, with a soft grin she leaned down. "you have no idea how bad ive been wanting to do that to you baby." she whispered by your ear before kissing right below it.
you let out a soft moan mixed in with panting. finally being able to speak you smiled and gave her a quick kiss on her lips "we should have done this sooner" you said earning a soft laugh from ellie "i agree"
"cmon lets go clean up in the shower" ellie stood up removing the strap. you nodded and got up stumbling your way to the bathroom making ellie laugh at your struggle.
you were soon met with ellie in the bathroom and she holds you from behind and leans her head down by your ear "we can have a round two if you want baby" she said grazing her fingers along your body sending chills up your spine.
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4pfsukuna · 7 months
Text
Awkward (N. Kento)
Theres just not enough fics of Nanami with black women outside of just smut..so here i am with smut but theres plot based on sza songs Awkward 
Time passing.
Nanami still has no idea how Gojo convinced him to attend his silly little holiday party. Knowing Gojo it would be loud, eccentric and lots of alcohol involved. Plus the fact that Gojo knew everybody and it looks like he’s invited everyone Nanami was ready to leave.
But Gojo made him promise to have one drink…just one. Plus he made some know it all comments about Nanami being a workaholic who was probably just going to go home look at stuff for work and do even more overtime spending the holidays alone. He always ragged on him about extra work but the alone part cut deep this time because it reminded him of his ex girlfriend the one he almost proposed to on the night of their anniversary, ring in pocket but he ended up getting stuck with over time, losing track of time and leaving her to sit alone at the restaurant for 2 hours. 
What was suppose to be a happy night was anything but and by 12:01am he was single. Bringing his cup to his lips he’s ready to take a sip but stops when he hears a laugh he’ll never forget.
The last thing Nanami kento expected to see at Gojo’s party (that he basically tricked him into going to) was his ex girl from 4 years ago in a black mini silk dress that if you just bent over a tad bit more—
“You alright man?” Gojo ask slapping his blonde hair friends back snapping him back to the reality where his cup of alcohol had been crushed completely in his hand.
He was sure of Two things in this moment. 1. His hand was wet and 2? He wasnt letting you get away again.
“Oh let me introduce you to my friend Miyoshi, shes an interior designer. Designed all my homes boring career so you two might actually have something in common since you like boring stuff” Gojo insults while placing a napkin in his friends hand basically dragging him over to the woman through the crowd.
What? This was not at all how he planned on talking to you, what was he suppose to say? Would you even acknowledge him? Your curly fro had been straightened so it was now mid back with a slight red tint and he vaguely remember you saying a girl dyes her hair red when she’s over a man and there’s no chance for him ever again. Oh god you hated him. Was the room always this hot?
You turn around finally setting your eyes on the two of them and downing whatever was left in your cup. 
“Miyoshi, meet my friend Nanami kento. Kento this is Miyoshi” Gojo introduces and the air becomes thick with tension as you two awkwardly smile at another Nanami unable to keep your gaze on him.
Time passing by.
“Yosh” Nanami breaks the silence at the same time she speaks “nami”. Old habits die hard, the nicknames from another pouring from their lips shocking Gojo.
“You two know each other?” The white hair man ask which only confuses him more when you say no but he says yes.
He goes to ask the question neither of you wanted to answer but luckily is stopped by hearing the pur of his name from Geto who he waste no time following forgetting all about you two. 
“Can i get you another drink? Im sorry about Gojo and bombarding you like that” Nanami ask nodding at your cup watching as you exhale glossed lips forming your usual slight pout.
You nod as he leads you by the small of your back to the bar his hand burning a imprint on your lower back and you're grateful when he moves it to toss the napkin in his other hand away.
“Strawberry Lemon drop and a whiskey on the rocks” he tells the bartender before quickly looking over at you dropping apologies.
“Sorry you probably dont even like that anymore, i shouldnt have assumed! Ill—“ he starts ranting only for you to laugh, placing a hand on his forearm sitting on the stool.
“Still as charming as ever, its still my favorite drink” you smile the nerves leaving your body but filling his to the brim. Why was he so nervous? Of course his stoic poker face never dropped once but that was how he was.
“Its nothing, just wanna make sure you’re taken care of” he speaks so easily before you could respond or even react The drinks are quickly placed in front of you.
You wanted to know what the hype was all about
“So how have you been?” He ask downing half of his drink in one gulp. You follow suit licking the sugar off the rim unaware of how his eyes watch  and his grip tightens slightly on his glass.
“Are we really going to play this game kento? Fine. Ive been traveling exploring growing healing i finally quit the company and started my own business finding rich men like Gojo who have more money than they know what to do with and creating clients out of them” you shrug sipping the drink watching him smile… somewhat proud.
“Congratulations. Sorry if im prying—“ Nanami finishes his drink only for you to cut him off.
“No!” You say a bit louder than expected before clearing your throat. “No i… i just dont understand how you can sit here like everything ended— like nothing happened and were just old friends catching up” you ask confused, of course you wanted to talk to him 3 and ½ years with someone over in one night and now 4 years later here both of you are.
The nerves were back.
Then we fucked a little bit and I was out, Did not say bye
“Kento i broke up with you, fucked you one last time for my own closure and ghosted you in the middle of the night with no way of ever contacting me. Not my best moment” you finally speak on the elephant in the room another round of drink places infront of you two.
“Compliments of master satorou” the bartender nods before attending to other guest leaving no time to protest.
“I wouldve atleast like to remain friends but i understand.  You left with a bang… quite literally” he jokes trying to ease the tension showing off that jokester part of him that only youve seen.
And now for the word vomit , you couldn’t even stop it if you wanted.
“Friends? Our love was different…too strong for that. It was worth it,I would do it again.I know you hurt me,This is more than a friendship” you speak running over your finger your rim collecting sugar along the sides of your fresh acrylic nails. 
When you don’t hear anything from him (honestly what are you expecting? You just admitted you loved him so much youd go through the heartbreak a second time just to experience that love again) you look up watching as he loosens his tie.
Fuck. “Sorry”
“I made it awkward” which he chuckles at taking your jaw in his large hand forcing your eyes to look up at him. Your heart racing in your chest at the familiar contact
“I miss you”he finally slips the stoic façade falling all his emotions on display for you to see and suddenly the room feels 10 degrees hotter.
“I— why did you let me do it?” You ask and for a simple sentence it was so loaded. You can tell by the way the tips of his ears burn red.
“This isnt the place for that conversation” he speaks finally letting go of your chin turning back towards his drink and you exhale he was right. The awkward tension was back and you despised it.
“My home is 10 minutes away… we can really talk there if youd like” he suggest looking over his watch and i glance around at the party in full swing before back at him.
“Yeah”
When you two make it to his home you cant help the nostalgic grin. This was completely him, nothing out of place every color scheme matches because its all shades of white creme or beige. Everything looks super clean and super expensive.
“Would you like anything to drink? Or eat?” He ask heading to the kitchen after placing your coats on the rack.
“Wine… although ive probably drunk enough” you giggle taking a seat on the couch and he follows with two wine glasses and the bottle. But Nanami always had the best wine and knew the best pairings.
Downing the first cup you lick your lips until you feel his fingers brushing down hair with the rest. When you look over at him hes already stairing at you… admiring and its pure love. Everything starts to feel surreal and you really remember the last time you were with him— alone.
Can we still love on each other?
“Do you still love me?” You ask curiously before you have time to even realize what youre saying and he doesnt even look phased.
“Did you ever stop?” He questions looking at you over his wine glass setting it back on the coffee table next to the bottle looking away to hide the look in his eyes. Sighing you rest your cup next to his, lip gloss staining the glass.
Can we still touch on eachother.
Reaching up to play with his tie being unkept from him fiddling with it you only loosen it further unbuttoning the top 3 buttons just like you did when you two were still— fuck.  
You freeze but that doesnt discourage him feeling the coolness of your hands through the shirt bringing his full attention to you and youve completely taken over all of his senses. 
Can we still not judge  each other?
You still never answered the question just focused on his tie and froze. He curses at himself.
I make it awkward.
“I…im still inlove with you kento, never stopped” you finally say looking up at him glossy eyes and thats all he needs leaning forward placing his lips on yours the taste of alcohol and cherry lip gloss makes him melt. He kisses you delicately, scared to scare you off and even if you regret it the taste of your lips one last time would get him through a lifetime of over time.
Its when you sigh and pull his bottom lip in between your teeth is when he decides he needs you and he needs your weight on him. Pulling you so youre straddling his lap his hands slowly roaming your body still scared of sudden movements scaring you and wanting to map out every curve of your body missing the way you felt. Getting so lost in your brown skin he almost looses his thought. The one thing he promised hed tell you if he ever seen you again.
I can not love everybody
And hes confessing like a sinner in church or a man on judgement day because you are everything holy and he was ready to admit. 
“I could never be with anybody after you, no woman is you”
But you isn't anybody
“You took my heart with you when you left and only left a tiny piece left. And with that tiny piece all i could do is think about how much im in love with you. Want to be with you forever just us two” he breathes looking you dead in your eye so you know hes serious. Serious about you. Serious about this. Serious about yall.
You look at me different
You couldnt help but to see a different side of him. And not just the jokester side you seen earlier but a more mature Nanami Kento, a more considerate and loving Nanami kento. His lover boy era perhaps?! The heat pools inbetween your legs more than it had been all night as you two keep eye contact.
So I let you see my body
Pulling your dress over your head revealing the black lace matching panties and bra set he adjust in the seat.
“Proove it”
Body, body, body
“Youre going to be the absolute death of me, im sure of it” he admits his lips going to your neck trailing down the valley of your breast hands groping and squeezing them. His tongue licks over your cloth covered nipple pinching the other one causing a slight moan. Grabbing your hands to place on his shirt the signal to keep unbuttoning his hands go to your cheeks cupping as he begins kissing you harder tongue infiltrating your mouth.
And now we don't speak at all Now I regret it all
4 years without this? How could you? You were still absolutely positively madly in love with him. Missing him so much your lips dont disconnect at all even when he stands to walk toward his bedroom your fingers running through his hair at the nape of his neck pulling a soft moan from him. You don’t register the movement until your back is being layed in the softness of his bed.
Still, it was worth it
I would do it again
His lips trail down the valley of your breast again making sure to savor the taste of your brown skin before his tongue swirls over your brown nipple listening to your soft pants. He switches over to the other one, your lace bra being unhooked in the front by his mouth… he always did have a talented mouth.  
His lips continue their assault until they reach your panties kissing your lips through the lace earning a shiver before his teeth are pulling your underwear off and damn what a sight.
You can feel him breathing over your core making you nervous wanting to close your legs unaware of the way hes using his photographic memory to remember how gorgeous you look right now.
“Ken— mmph” his tongue glides against your folds with ease and your sure hes thought about this often because the way his tongue is delicated over every spot that makes you tingle is driving you insane. 
“Missed the way you taste sweetheart” he indulges using his first two fingers to open up your slick folds giving him access to what he really wants. His tongue swirls around once, twice, three times before fully latching onto your clit pulling a loud whine from you. 
Music to his ears he wants to make you do it again, show you hes sorry, beg for another chance fuck he was on his knees face burried into your dripping cunt and nothing outside of the two of you mattered right now. Using those two fingers he presses into your core moaning as you squeeze your legs around his head the need to cum building up when he twist his fingers with a delicious curl.
“K-kento i… im fuck” you begin writhing under his mouth hands gripping at the sheets as he keeps a slow sensual pace making sure you feel the apology. But hes a selfish man, he thinks, because the minute you cum hes lapping up every drop yet still wont give you a second to recover. You deserved it.
His tongue replaces his fingers, fucking you as his thumb swirls around your clit watching every face of exstacy you make, the way the lights from the city shine through the room bouncing off the soft brown of your skin. 
He just wants one more only one and when your hands tangle in his blonde hair holding him in place forcing him to watch you fall apart on his tongue his dick twitches in his boxers precum spilling from the tip.
“NANAMI” you shout the highest pitch hes ever heard your voice before orgasming on his lips his movements never stopping as he pushes you into your third one of the night, he needed your taste engraved in his brain… and tongue. The sounds of your heavy breaths grabs his attention and he grins watching the heat of the room make your hair curl back up with a slight friz. Just the way he loved it.
Though hes shocked when you lurch forward pulling him by his cheeks to place an open mouth his tongue swirling around his mouth tasting yourself and a hint of alcohol.
Hes nervous when you pull back, afraid you may regret it and be ready to walk out until your trembling fingers push his unbuttoned shirt off over the planes of his muscles taking your time feeling them even when his shirt falls to the floor. 
Next is his belt buckle and he feels like hes shaking from anticipation watching you do this. He cant help himself and leans back in for another kiss your lipgloss long gone. Sliding everything off in one push your eyes widen at his length thats dripping precum in a way youve never seen before that makes you lick your lips wanting to get every drop but he leans forward pulling your chin up to him.
“Maybe later love,” and the nickname hurts. He always called you that after being away on a long business trip or extremely long nights at work when he strolled in after midnight.
He grabs his thick length pumping a few times before lining it up with your core and the air is thick again. With anticipation…
Longing…
Need…
Unspoken apologies…
I know you hurt me, but
But this is deeper than friendship now
Nodding giving him the okay he slides in making you  gasp and he captures your lips in a groan the burn of him stretching you out as his dick slides in is welcomed. Its like your walls were made just for him. Though you dont expect the string of apologies he begins letting out and tears prick your eyes as you pull him close one hand on his spine the other tangled in his hair.
Let's keep it awkward
He doesnt move for a second and you understand the hesitation. You knew what this meant. He just needed a little motivation.
I think we're ready for it, yeah, mmh
Squeezing you core he groans sending a sharp thrust into you burrying his face in your shoulder. He slowly pulls back just to the tip sliding back in with the same sharp thrust releasing a grunt before picking up your thigh pressing it against your chest. The gasp leaves your mouth as you struggle to think straight nails digging into his back pulling him closer. It seems your claws in his back does nothing but turn him on more.
His lips begin kissing down your neck sucking and leaving a trail of hickeys because even if he couldnt have you past tonight he would leave his mark and let it be known you were his until they stop on your breast. His tongue laps at your perky nipples sucking until he pulls a delicious moan from you and your hands find his hair again. He loved when you pulled it and kept it long enough for you to get a grip but short enough so it wasnt always in his eyes.
“K-kento” you stutter breathlessly your legs shaking as the first orgasm from his dick rips through you yet he shows no signs of stopping or slowing down. Just keeps fucking you through it.
Well this was a different level of deepness.
“Fuck i love you” he grunts again with slow powerful strokes making sure his pelvis hits yours every time as his hands trace the outline of your body squeezing whereever he can. His lips meet yours once more in a sloppy kiss as he drops more weight on you to keep you in place. The only sounds are a combination of your moans and the wet slapping sounds. A particular thrust of his hips makes you feel like he’s digging you out and your back arches off the bed only for his body to press into you.
“Fuck, tell me how good it feels sweetheart” he practically begs but youre still trying to catch your breath from the first orgasm making him release your nipple and come back to your shoulder peppering it with kisses. “Tell me how much you missed this…us” he adds before snaking a arm down between the both of you and finding your clit.
“N-nan… shit… nami” your words are broken and you cant even keep your eyes focused on one spot and he grins into your neck at his name rolling off your tongue acknowledging where the nickname from earlier came from. His thumb goes at a sensualy slow place but the pressure hes applying has your legs locking up behind his back and he delivers the final blow.
Pulling your chin down to find your eyes and he smiles wholesomely with a wicked glint in his eyes making you give him complete eye contact unable to move. 
“Cum with me” he begs and demands all at once his thrust a bit sporadic and loosing rhythym as the speed on your clit pics up as well the coil building in you before finally snapping and your gushing all over him as ropes of his load shoot into you consequences be damned. He collapses next to you pulling your body ontop of his chest rapidly rising and falling. You two are silent, a comfortable one before he extends his arm rumaging in the drawer next to his bed and you close your eyes fighting the sleep. 
You open your eyes once more when you feel him wrapping a scarf around your hair that had completely curled back up due to the heat and sweat from your bodies. Your only response is to  smile and place a kiss on his chest which he chuckles at and places a kiss on your forehead tracing his fingers up and  down your spine
Let's keep it awkward
Waking up to the sound of the keyboard you yawn rubbing your eyes to see a glass of water and 2 tylenol on the night stand infront of you. The realization dawns on you of where your at but how could you forget you knew that scent of detergent, the cozyness of the sheets and the fact that this was your side of the bed because the vent was next to it meaning youd be getting all the heat first… this was your ex boyfriend Nanami kentos bedroom and you were completely naked except for the pale blue sheet covering your lower half.
It may seem silly but the sound of the keyboard brought tears to your eyes, all the hard work you did on healing. No amount of sza, jhene aiko nor beyonces lemonade album would get you through this one because you knew what it was and allowed it. Nanami was a workaholic— the exact reason for your split. Dates postponed with no exact date, romantic evenings cut short, sleeping alone for several nights as the computer held his attention… What hurt the most was being stood up on your anniversary.  
Slowly rising up you rub your eyes and begin looking for you clothes ready to make your great escape.
“Good morning sweetheart howd you sleep?” He ask the audacity to even call you sweetheart as if everything was back to when you two were still in a relationship makes your heart clench with pain. When you don’t respond the sound of the keyboard stops and you feel the bed shift flinching before he can touch you.
“No i know that look youre going to run, just like last time” he speaks in such a timbre that steals your breath knowing your causing him pain. “If all you wanted was a quick fuck you—“ he begins to say and you scoff finally looking at him eyes set ablaze.
“How fucking dare you?! Thats all i was to you Kento! A quick fuck to burn through your stress and then right back to your silly little papers and projects and work. You were always drowning yourself in work so deep that i had to convince myself you actually didnt hate me! All you do is work and when youre not working youre picking up overtime. You placed your job over me countless times! The only time you thought about me was to reschedule what we had planned…. 14 date nights and a anniversary kento! FOURTEEN!” You finally yell feeling a weight lift off your shoulders at the speach you rehearsed 3 dozen times in the mirror.
His shoulder slump as his lips form a line looking for the right words to say. What could he say he was over the moon waking up next to you in bed and now he felt disgusted with himself. Nothing was worse than the regret on your face.
You begin looking for your clothes again and that sets him into action he shuffles off the bed pulling you into his arms your head against his chest his heartbeat racing.
“Im sorry” released the flood gate of tears youd been holding back as if he knew he holds you tighter and sighs.
“Im sorry for neglecting you, im sorry for not putting you on the pedestal you deserve to be on, im sorry for anytime ive ever made you question my love for you, im sorry for all the dissapointments and most of all im sorry for waiting this long. Im an idiot and every day without you was hell i thought what i would do differently if i had the chance once more and i—“ he stops sitting down on the bed so he could pull your eyes to his covered by his thick framed glasses.
“Karma is beating my ass with cursed energy because for every day we werent together all i could think about was every time i canceled and how i wish i could just have 1 night, id make it all right” he confesses with wide eyes wiping your tears away with his thumbs. 
Your eyes flicker to his laptop and he follows before showing me the screen and there’s about 6 tabs open. His email, flights, hotels, car rentals and clothing stores.
I know I'm ready for it, you feel me?
“I was telling my boss im taking the next month off 14 dates is alot of time sweetheart… 14 too many and i know. We always talking about escaping to malaysia, trying all the foods, shopping breakfast on the beach and dancing under the moonlight until 2am. Everything’s booked and i know youd need time to pack and get your hair done i already messaged your hairstylist who can see you in 4 hours hopefully after we’ve had breakfast and agreed to the trip” he pleads with hopeful eyes revealing his hand to show you, not just tell you how apologetic he was but to show you.
Your heart begins racing, palms sweaty and damn did this man have you weak in the knees! He was doing everything right, saying everything right and he looked so fine the way his boxers hugged his muscular frame and okay maybe a man with a plan turned you on anybody could say words but to put action behind it… And like this? Oh baby he really thought about it, kinda like you factory reset him.
“Heres my card pay for whatever you need and a key… to my place” you never really heard him stumble over his words before until now and his nervousness is showing in a boyish way youd never seen before who wouldve thought stone wall one expression Nanami kento here stumbling over you? “So what do you say?”
Can we still love on each other?
Can we still touch on each other?
Can we still not judge each other?
So… what do you say?
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thelov3lybookworm · 9 months
Text
Remember me? (Part 11)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10
Summary: Under the Mountain, Y/n met the High Lord of the Night Court, Rhysand. She was scared of him, but soon she found out that he wasn't who he pretended to be. Despite her efforts at not falling in love with him, she fails. It's not that bad as he loves her back.
But now he's gone, and she's left alone with nothing.
Except for a very adorable reminder of him.
•○●⛦●○•
Tw: secret pregnancy, none more that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.
A/n: honestly dedicated to @thehighladywrites because we love High Lord Eris in this house 😏😌🫶🏻
also, i feel like this timeline ca be confusing because i honestly dont know what im doing lol so just so you all are aware, this part is supposed to be based on the time just before feyre has fled the night court 😉
(Not edited as i am going to slee, sorry! ignore any mistakes ❣️)
•○🌑○•
The curtains were parted to let in a gentle autumn breeze which toyed with the ends of Y/n's hair, and she huffed gently when she felt someone watching her.
She finished adjusting the covers around the sleeping Fin, taking her time to smooth out the creases before she straightened, turning to find Eris leaning against the doorway, his arms folded across his chest, his eyes trained on the softly snoring boy on the bed.
And he was shirtless.
Y/n told herself it was not that big of a deal, that she had seen plenty of men naked, but seeing that pale expanse of skin covering those hard earned muscles, something shifted in her belly.
He glanced at her, blinking when she stepped forward. He straightened when Y/n continued walking forward, and his arms fell at his sides when she passed by him.
Her brows furrowed as she glanced at him and found a blush covering his face.
"Eris? Are you alright? Is your magic malfunctioning or something?"
He shook his head, still standing in the doorway. She paused to turn an watch him.
"You look a little red, you know. Are you sure you don't have a fever?"
He shook his head again, glancing back at Fin once before he inclined his head towards the corridor leading away from the boy's room.
To say Y/n was concerned and confused would be an understatement.
Eris closed the door to Fin's room gently, then grasped Y/n's hand, hesitantly, tugging her towards a large window nearby.
Y/n whirled towards him the moment he stopped walking. "Eris? What is going on?"
He didn't say anything, simply pulled out a piece of paper from the pocket of the pants that hung dangerously low on his hips.
Y/n's frustrations finally got the best of her. "Are we playing charades, Eris? Or did someone cut off your tongue?"
He sighed. "I did not want to be the bearer of bad news, but I guess I still am as I brought you the letter. It's from Feyre. Forgive me for reading it, but it was open when it fell onto my desk."
Y/n's heart slowed down in fright. It... It could also be something good, right? It didn't have to be about her leaving Rhysand. It could be about him getting better and apologizing...
Y/n knew how stupid it was, really, to hope for that.
And even if that hope had really come true, Feyre was responsible enough to not send the letter practically in the middle of the night.
Y/n opened the folded piece of paper, her eyes moving frantically as she read it and searched for words that would soothe her worries.
It was all in vain.
Y/n, I can't live here anymore. I will soon be winnowing to autumn with Nyx. I hope you don't mind.
Y/n suppressed the rage that reared its head in her chest, taking a deep breath as her eyes rose to meet Eris's.
His eyes held the same sadness she felt and was sure were displayed in her own eyes.
"I have weakened the wards enough for both of them to come through without any harm coming to them, and have already ordered the servants to prepare quarters for them to live in. You don't have to worry about much."
Grateful, Y/n moved without realising what she was doing. One moment, she was standing facing him, the cool autumn air curling around her, and the next, she was surrounded by warmth, her face buried in his shoulder, her arms thrown around her neck. He stiffened, but moments later, he relaxed with a heavy sigh, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Thank you." She mumbled onto his welcoming skin, tightening her hold, knowing she shouldn't.
She felt him nod, and she pulled back to glance at him.
If there was any chance Y/n had been mistaken before about him blushing, she wasn't now.
He definitely was blushing, as red as the colour of the leaves in the court he ruled.
"It- it's nothing."
Despite the heavy news that they had received, Y/n felt her lips curl. "Are you blushing, Vanserra?"
He huffed. "Of course not. Why would I blush?"
"You know," Y/n began as se stopped leaning on him and straightened, though his hands tightened on her waist, as if unwilling to let go. Y/n chose to remain silent on the matter. "It is not nice to lie. Did your mother not teach you?"
He leaned his head closer, a smirk forming on his lips. "She might have, but she also focused more on how to treat the female you love the right way. Must've forgotten about the lying lessons."
Y/n blinked, her face going hot. But before she could say anything, she felt Eris stiffen under her arms. He pulled away instantly, tearing his hands through his hair.
"She's here."
Y/n nodded, her hands falling heavily to her sides.
"Let's go welcome them."
•○🌑○•
Part 12
Remember me Taglist: @holb32 @awoa1 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @luvmoo @we-were-beautiful @eerievixen @zoe2 @fussel9913 @j-pendragonx @thesnugglingduck @jesssicapaniagua @devilsnightz @esposadomd @littleffawn @mandowhatnow @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @princesslolaasworld @asemkta @cat-or-kitten @txzii @bunnyredgirl @theofficialmadman @leeknows-wife @aria-chikage @amygdtjhddzvb @azriels-mate123 @inky-clover @kemillyfreitas @12358 @justdreamstars @cuethedepession @princessvesta @fides25 @nocasdatsgay @acourtofbatboydreams @stained-glass-eyes0708 @glaciuswduo @wallacewillow0773638 @cassie6392 @quackitysdrugdealer @txzii @anuttellaa @coisas-da-dani @hnyclover @sassyslytherinshai @historygeekqueen
General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392
Eris taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter
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daisymbin · 4 months
Text
it's not just a game - yoon jeonghan
word count: 1.2k words
warnings: mentions of alcohol
pairings: yoon jeonghan x afab reader
genre: friends to lovers, fluff, a hint of angst
a/n: this has not been proofread so i apologise if there's some mistakes. also, its been a little while since i posted zzzz
requests open!
check out my masterlist!
jeonghan's pov 
the bottle spun and landed on me. ''truth or dare?'' as soon as the words left seungcheol's mouth, i knew i was utterly screwed, especially with that stupid sly smirk on his face. it didn't matter what i picked because i know, with both options, the boys would stir some shit up one way or another.
just to be clear, i am in no way a willing participant in this game, especially not when all of us are either drunk and tipsy. but of course, who am i to say no when seungcheol suggested this game earlier to y/n and she just had to drag me by my hand and ask me to play together. it's just a game hannie, don't be such a scaredy caaat
am i going to admit that i am scared? no. but am i scared? beyond that, i am terrified, mortified. why? because 30 minutes prior to y/n arriving at our flat, i had just been talking to seungcheol and joshua about her. after specifically telling them both that i dont think im ready to confess yet because as much as i hate to admit it, i become a stuttering mess in front of her. and i hate it because that's not me. that's not who i am. i am yoon jeonghan. i am confident! i don't get nervous. i don't get shy. ever. so why am i like this in front of her?
‘’hurry up, handsome. you're taking too long.’’ she whined; pulling my heartstrings. ‘’dare.’’ i said without putting much thought into it. ‘’who do you think is the most attractive person here?’’ soonyoung asked. 
‘’myself of course.’’ 
‘’aside from yourself, dumbass.’’ vernon laughed.
‘’im older than you! watch it.’’ i said jokingly as i punched his arm lightly.
‘’so? who is it?’’ seungcheol continued probing. 
‘’i'd rather take the penalty shot than answer this stupid question.’’
‘’ok fine, take the shot then.’’ joshua said dejectedly.
i poured myself a shot and lifted it to my lips, but before i downed it, ‘’come on guys, technically, he did answer the question.’’ y/n came to my defense. I immediately put the shot glass back on the floor. ‘’exactly. i did technically answer your question.’’ 
’yeah you did except, we're playing truth or dare and you weren't telling the truth. sooo……penalty shot.’’ vernon bit back. i gave him a tight-lipped smile and down the penalty shot in surrender.
this time, the bottle landed on soonyoung. ‘’alright, truth or dare buddy?’’ joshua asked soonyoung. ‘’mhmm…dare.’’
‘’i dare you to give y/n a kiss on the cheek'’ seungcheol said with a laugh. a kiss?????????? on the cheek???????? oh hell. ‘’what kind of stupid game is this?? you guys didn't even ask her. what if she doesn't want that??’’ i challenged.
‘’do you not want to y/n? if you don't, its really fine, jeonghan is right.’’ joshua said.
‘’i don't mind it. come on hannie, it's just a game.’’ she said as she looked at me with those eyes. if i didn’t know any better, i would have thought that it was those eyes of adoration..like..she feels something for me too. my breath hitched for a moment. but i do know better; lightweight y/n is just tipsy, maybe a little drunk. those eyes didn’t mean anything at all. 
and with that, soonyoung turns to his side and gave her a peck on her cheek, it felt agonizingly long, that is, until she looks up me while soonyoung still has his lips on her cheek. im conflicted. half of me feels…..feels jealousy. the other half of me feels..light…like im floating almost. ‘’s-soonyoung ah, thats enough.’’ i couldn't stand seeing it anymore. 
‘’come on, lets stop this. its already 230am.’’ i suggested. 
‘’lets just play one more round and then we'll call it a night.’’ vernon tried accommodating.
‘’oh yes! one more round! please hannie! i haven’'t had this much fun in such a long time.’’ how could i ever say no?
this time, the bottle landed on y/n. ‘’dare or dare y/n?’’ soonyoung asked. ‘’what do you mean dare or dare?’’ she pouted as she asked.
‘’come on, it's the last round of the night. lets make it fun! go with a dare please!’’ soonyoung asked her as he clasped his hands together; begging her with his puppy dog eyes. ‘’okay fine lets go with dare.’’ she answered as she patted soonyoung's head. no, i am not jealous.
‘’kiss……jeonghan hyung.’’ my eyes grew big as the words left soonyoung's mouth. is he crazy? has he lost his mind? my eyes glanced over to y/n slowly, trying to gauge her reaction. i watched as her eyes grew wide for a second before it turned into a smile. ‘’hannie, do you mind?’’ she asked me gently, as if gauging my reaction as well. ‘’i..i mind of course. what kind of friends kiss each other?’’ i said nervously as i picked up the penalty shot and downed it, handing the empty shot glass to her. ‘’here. i took the penalty shot for you. game over, let's all go to bed now.’’ i got up as soon as she took the shot glass from me. i'll try to erase the image of her frowning when i got up.
‘’y/n'’ i said as i entered my room and beelined for my closet. i turned around to make sure she was listening, but instead, i found her following me around like a hurt little lost puppy that's been kicked aside. frowning a little, i said ‘’you can take my bed, i’ll sleep on the couch tonight.’’ 
‘’okay.’’ she said softly.
‘’whats wrong?’’
‘’nothing’s wrong.’’
‘’something is clearly bothering you. what's wrong?’’
at that, she hesitates for awhile before she broke the silence. ‘’is kissing me really that bad?’’
‘’no but we are friends! we can't kiss. that would be inappropriate and weird.’’ i tried to clarify, though i know this didn’t make things any better.
‘’well do we have to be just friends?’’
‘’what are you-'’
‘’kiss me hannie'’
‘’you don't know what you're asking of me, y/n.’’
‘’i do. i know what im asking of you so please. unless you really don't want to and the thought of kissing me disgusts you then i-''
i don't know what came over me but before i could register anything at all, i found my hand in her hair and the other on the side of her neck, guiding her to me. no, i did not shut her up with a kiss but my lips are brushing against hers. she's so close i can feel her breath hitching, i felt the beating of her heart speed up as i leaned down to press my lips on hers. i felt her hand come up to my side and fisted my shirt as if holding herself back from giving more into the kiss.
i pulled away slowly to look her in the eyes. the emotions swirling behind them were the same as she one the gave me earlier. ‘’it's not just a game is it hannie?’’ she asked as she looked down. i lifted her chin for her to look back at me, ‘’it’s not just a game, y/n.’’ 
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aonungyoufuck · 2 years
Text
Runaway {Part 4}
Tumblr media
Masterlist
DNI/BYF
Synopsis: Ao'nung and you have a talk behind some rocks. And oh oh whats this? A baby??
It had been around a week or so. You had finally been healed enough that Ronal saw fit to train you a little. Finally being able to go home. You thanked your stars that all you had to do now was eat some stew here and there for the internal pain you still felt. 
“Good. This is good'' Ronal complimented your craftsmanship on the basket you had weaved. You weren’t allowed to train in anything else. Tsireya was there for that. But she had asked you for a basket and a blanket. Aside from the proper paste that would dissolve the umbilical cord without hurting the babe or Ronal. 
“Thank you!” You nodded, bowing your head. “I will like to make your babe another Blanket. If it is alright with you” 
“That is fine.” 
“I know you said i cant help deliver the babe. I do know how to if you ever need extra help.” You hadn’t really delivered a lot of babies. But Your mother and grandmother had allowed you and Kiri to train for the woman of your old clan. 
“ I am aware, thank you. If you dont mind. Ill go make your food.” She stood up with your help as you handed her the basket. “You go on and get going. Remember no going until the water just yet”
You nodded bidding her goodbye as you watched her go. 
Walking home you didnt expect much to happen. Didn’t expect to be stopped. But feeling the slightest of tugs on your hand you looked. 
To Your Surprise it was Rotxo.
“Oh? Is there something you need?”
“Come with me” 
With not much thought you followed after. You didnt know why, or perhaps you did. But you just knew this was because of Ao’nung. 
In the time you been healing you had spend the most time with him. It was nice to have a friend in him too. And maybe your heart ached a little when you saw him. Whenever he was close to you.  
You had gone crazy. You knew. All your life you had wanted nothing than to prove your spot to your family. But as of late all you could think about was a mate. 
You were growing older. And soon if things work out correctly. You’ll be an adult in the eyes of the clan. You had hoped it was going to work. All you really had was to bond with a tulkun and Tame a skimwing. And had you not been shot close to your heart. Perhaps you wouldn’t have to stop your progress. 
“Where are we going?”
“Ao’nung is wanting to meet you near the Reef. But away from prying eyes”
There it was. That hint that he would be there to see you. For what you weren’t sure. 
“Sounds like he wants to kill me” 
At that he let out a hefty laugh. And it was nice to finally hear it. You hadn’t realized it. But your near death had caused almost everyone to dim their light. “I think its more to help you train on taming a skimwing”
“Wow jumping to training already”
“He has good reason for it too” 
You could only smile. The faintest of little hope you had lighting up. Warming your chest with a feeling you didn’t know of. 
“He’s past that rock over there. I'm heading home. I still have an awful lot of chores to do.” Rotxo spoke as he started running back. 
You watched him go. Before walking over the rocks and finally seeing the open sea. And there Ao’nung was. 
“Tame a skimwing huh? Forgot i cant go into the water just yet?”
“Oh hush i thought you may appreciate some alone time from everyone”
“That would include you Genius” 
He could only mock a laugh. Watching as you sat down beside him.Something about the past few days had changed everything about your dynamic.  Things were different. The looks were passionate and other worldly. And all you two wanted and mutually understood is that you were better together alone. 
“Ao’nung may i .. say something?”
“If its stupid no”
“Wow thanks” You muttered looking out to sea. “When..When our time comes to find mates Do you think we could still enjoy moments like this?”
“What?” you could barely make out what he said. A longing whisper in the wind. 
“I Know your nearly done with your. Well you know. I have no doubt once you become an adult in the eyes of your people that. That you will have to find a mate some time soon”  and a stinging pain deep in your core wanted to hiss. To think of it was something else. But you would have to learn to live with it. “I just hope that. That when that happens. That we would still be able to talk. And to have moments like this. Tho they are rare and often times distant”
“ And who says that i will have a mate?”
You could only chuckle at that. “Well it is to happen. You are nearly done with your Training. And im sure your mother would like to get started with the next Tsahik training you know?”
“Do you have any in mind?”
You looked at him. Eye to eye. It felt surreal to see him like this. Like it was only you two in the world. And it made your heart beat to a rhythm you knew all to well. You felt it once before. When a boy you fancied back home looked your way. But this was strange. It was stronger and truer than anything else. 
“I do…but it cannot happen” 
“Why is that? When you complete the last task you can chose of any man you want” 
“But i cannot have him” You admitted. 
And Ao’nung seem to understand. Somewhere in his heart he felt light. And like he could fly so high at the thought of you choosing him. You didn’t have to say it. You didnt need to say it with words for he already knew too. 
“ I would run to you more than anyone else”
“What-”
“I would split the sea if you so much as asked. I would do anything and everything for you. And if you asked me for the farthest star in the universe i would do it too. What ever you so much as wish for at your beck and call i would do it” He spoke holding your hand in his. 
Your heart sped. It continued at a pace you were sure was unhealthy. But hearing those sweet nothing made your head spin
“Without you all that’s joyous becomes like mud. Instead of rejoicing i shed tears. My spirit is never at joy if not around you.For in the world under Eywa. There is no woman born so lovable so dear to my heart, who loves me without feigning, with such a deep love” He continued to look at you. Looking into your soul, you felt light .
You couldn’t believe your ears as your cheeks burned with a want just as he. You wanted him You did but you just couldn’t you knew. 
“What are you saying Ao’nung” you questioned. Entangling your hands together as you could only stare at him. Was he always this handsome? Did he always make your heart race this way?
“You alone are my love and longing. You are the sweet cooling of my mind that makes the days chores bearable. No joy for me anywhere without you here” Ao’nung didn’t know where this was coming from. Something in him just had to get it out. He just knew. 
He knew that he should have waited. Given this more time. To bloom. But you two were so close. He only had one step to go and you two. And he wanted everything to be said now before you ever thought of someone else but him at your side. 
He was crazy. But he already knew that. Ever since you had spend the most time with him and his family. He just knew. He knew he had to say what was so deeply rooted in his heart. 
“Ao’nung… We can’t I am the outsider do you not remember? You are The Future Olo’eyktan. You are the son of a promising Clan. What would your people think if… If we did mate?”
“ I will take no other woman if you do not choose me. For no other one has made me feel like i can take on the world” 
His hand now grabbed your wrist. Placing it on his chest. You could feel his heart. It beat so gently and you swore at the tune of your own. 
You did want this. Wanted to feel this love blossom because you knew that you couldn’t go against what Eywa put in front of you. Perhaps you too had gone mad. “Ao’nung… i”
Feeling his breathe next to your lips. A gentle look as he saw deep into your eyes. “If you choose me. I'd be the happiest i could ever be” 
“Ao’nung…”
“Y/n! There you are! Come hurry Mother’s about to go into labor”  You heard Tsireya yell from across the rocks. 
“Lets go. But whatever you decide please let me know as i will wait until you are ready” Ao’nung confessed. As he guided you back to the Clan. 
But right now you had to think of something else instead of what your heart wanted. And cracked so hard for.
------------------------------
Taglist:
@simp-erformarvelwomen
@luvlykrispy
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