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barnes-n-nobles · 2 years

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Change Isnt Always for the Better (NONCON SMUT)

Request: Can you make a yandere druig when the reader is a human but he doesn't accept the fact that she's gonna die someday and decide that he is gonna make her immortal or make himself a humanwhether he succeeds or not you decide

I feel like I might have missed a bit but let me know if youd like another version:-)))

Thank you for your request! Please reblog, like, and let me know what you think!

Warnings: very noncon smut, mentally unstable Druig, manipulation, talks about killing, jealous Druig, crazy Druig behaviors, stalker

18+ !!!! If you “keep reading” you are acknowledging that you are 18+ and that you have read the warnings.

Please Do not translate, no permission to repost any of my writing on any other platform, and do not copy this and claim it as your own.

You went over to Druigs place to talk to him about where you two stand in the relationship. You needed more freedom but he refuses to give it to you. Instead of fully listening to what you had to say, he immediately got defensive and you two started arguing. “You mask your possessiveness by saying it’s protection. I don’t need you to protect me, I can do it myself” “You actually can’t. I have the power to control peoples minds, you are in the safest hands with me. No one is capable of protecting you like I can, specially not yourself.”

“Stop! Please just stop! It’s not just that, it’s everything else you do. You have turned into an extremely jealous individual with anger issues who doesn’t trust anyone but yourself to be around me. I cant even go out with friends because you’re right there guilting me of abandoning you” “This world is in shambles. Everyone has some sort of evil inside of them, you are not safe. Technology has become the worst weapon of all, y/n, who knows what could happen to you. You could be meeting up with friends but what if they’re trying to harm you? What if the people around you are going to try to do something awful to you. You need me to be safe. Your life depends on it” “Look, Druig, I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways. You treat me like im made out of glass and I don’t want to deal with it anymore. Maybe in the future we will be able to talk again I don’t know. Right now, I just need some time.”

Druigs instant reaction was to smile. “Um im not joking” feeling angry at him for disrespecting you. “Y/n…we’re not breaking up. You’re being ridiculous”. You scoffed, not believing his reaction. “Are you serious? Druig, you’re not good for me. You’re way too much to handle and I can’t anymore. I am breaking up with you…thankfully I don’t need your permission for that” Stepping aside you started to walk out, but he grabbed you and pinned you against a wall, “I said no”. You pushed him off you, slapping him across the face, “Dont touch me ever again”. Druig was infuriated, but he grabbed you again, holding your wrists, “If you do this, you’ll regret it. I suggest you apologize and drop it.”

“Do you even hear yourself? You're unbelievable” you ripped your wrists away from his grip, “I swear to god. I will never forgive you if you walk out on me. Ive done everything I could possibly do for you. You WILL regret this” His chest rising and falling in anger.

You looked him straight in the eyes before saying, “I don’t care about you anymore. Goodbye Druig”. You walked out, walking a little fast towards your car. He stood there, processing what had just happened, his whole body was being consumed by anger. His blood was boiling and his next reaction was to punch the wall, creating a huge hole in it. The wall started to get a crack that stopped at the ceiling, he wanted to do it again but he dropped to his knees, crying in rage.

~~A year Later~~

You sat in at the restaurants farthest booth playing a game on your phone. You tried to concentrate but you were so mad that this dumbass guy you were meeting up with stood you up. To make it all worse you lost in your game, slamming your phone down making everyone turn their heads towards you. “Oops my bad” you said, recoiling back into yourself. Holding your face in your hands, you started to cry. It wasn’t because of that guy, no, it was because dating was so hard. Every single person you wanted to meet up with, always stood you up or they would ghost you. Every was so sweet over the phone but as soon as you wanted to meet them face to face, that’s when they would leave you. Doubting yourself was at an all time high at this point, you even wondered if you were good enough for literally anyone.

Grabbing a napkin to wipe your tears away, you soaked them in, hoping your makeup wouldnt be too bad. “Y/n? Is that you?” you thought it was the guy you were meeting here but when you looked up, you were shocked to see Druig. “Oh shit, it’s been so long how are you?” asking him while getting up to give him a quick hug. “I’m good just going through life, you know” he smiled looking at your puffy face. His smile instantly dropped, “ oh no what’s wrong?” he grabbed your arm, his reaction full of concern. “I…I was waiting for this guy and he stood me up” you laughed but it morphed into a cry. He brought you into him, holding you close like he used to. It made you feel warm and fuzzy again, you were so deprived of physical touch, to be embraced again was just so…intoxicating. “I’m so sorry. Men ain’t shit, as I’m sure you know” you giggled, “I’m really sorry” he let you go and picked up another napkin to wipe your tears away, cleaning a bit of your running mascara, “Look I’m here with my girlfriend but you’re more than welcome to come sit with us?” his offer was beyond kind, but when he said he had a girlfriend you couldn’t help but feel like a knife had been stabbed through your chest.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry. I’m crying here like a baby and you got your boo waiting on you. Thank you for the offer, but I think I’m just gonna go home. Probably get a huge tub of ice cream on my way home, you know the whole basic sad bitch routine. It was really nice seeing you though, take care Druig” you turned to walk away but he grabbed you before you could take a step, “Wait up…Look I know we ended in kind of bad terms but I just want you to know that you can always count on me for anything okay? I don’t want you to be alone in a time of need and I promise you there will be no feelings attached. When you and I broke up, I had to go through my pain all alone and that shit was the worst but don’t feel bad because it was really good for my mental health in the long run. I’d like to be there for you. Is that okay?” Trying to swallow the knot in your throat you nodded your head, holding back your tears, “yes that would be nice. My number is still the same” “You better unblock me though” he giggled, making you chuckle, “I will”. “See you around, sweets. Call me if you need anything”. He gave you a hug before heading back to his table, but before you could see him sit with his girlfriend you turned and left.

Later that night, you went to the store to get all the comfort food that you could buy and went home to lay in bed, putting on all your favorite movies. Enjoying yourself, you finally dozed off to sleep, your cheeks wet from your tears. Usually you didn’t get like this but seeing Druig, it hurt that he had already moved on and you were trying to do just that but you couldn’t. Every single one of the guys blew you off, and you didn’t understand why. Druig was really nice company while you two were dating but once he got in his head, you just had to leave. You told yourself that if he didn’t get like that you two would probably be married now. All these ‘if only’s made you even more sad, adding to your already shitty night.

Your phone went off, blasting your ringtone that jolted you awake. Rubbing your eyes, you tried to read the screen and saw that it was a new number, but it looked familiar.

“Hello?”

“Y/n? It’s Druig, did I wake you up?”

“Hey Druig, no I was watching a movie but I dozed off”

You asked looking at the clock, noticing it was 3:37am

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Everything is fine, I just couldn’t sleep and I wondered if you were awake too. I wanted to talk to you about something, if you’re not too tired of course”

“Yeah, I’m good. What’s going on”

“Well…I noticed how upset you were last night and I trust you remember what I told you last night, about us being friends?”

You paused for a bit. Trying to remember when he said that but it just didnt come up, “Y-yeah, I remember” lying to not make it awkward.

Druig smiled and cleared his throat for this next part.

“I’d like to invite you over for breakfast. I recently got a new place and I’d love for you to see it. After, we can either stay here and relax or we can go out to do stuff.”

“I don’t know. I’m still kind of hurt because of this last guy, and you also have a girlfriend. I wouldn’t be cool with something like that if my boyfriend has his ex over without me being there”

“To be 100% honest with you, she wasn’t my girlfriend. I only said that, to make it seem like I bounced back. It was our first time meeting but she wasnt interested in me. She said I have the same personality as flour, can you believe that shit?”

You busted out laughing, “Oh my god that’s so rude! Also ironic, your personality is definitely not like that”

“Well thank youuu, but yeah, what do you think? Wanna meet up tomorrow? Or later on today I should say”

You hesitated in answering but then you thought how bad could it be. He seemed like a changed person and you wanted to see how just how much. Not that you were thinking about dating him, but just to see if people could really change.

“Hello, y/n?”

“Hi yes sorry, I’d love to.”

“Perfect. I recently moved so ill text you the new address and you can meet me here. Id go get you but I want to make sure everything is perfect when you arrive”

“Sure that sounds great. See you then”

“Goodnight, M’lady”

That morning you got up early, making sure to give yourself enough time to get ready before you headed over to Druigs house. You searched up the new address and you saw that it was one hour away. “Damn” you said to yourself, zooming into the map, looking at how big or small the house was. By the looks of it, it was a huge property, but the actual house was a decent size. Going a little stalker mode, you plugged in the address into a real estate site and you got a better view of just how beautiful the home was. Druig was a wealthy person but you never thought he would have chosen a house like this, specially with that much land. Your notification popped up and it was him. The text read, “Goodmorning Sweets, I’m making a variety of waffles today. Is that okay?”

You smiled as you texted back, “Yay! My favorite <3”

“I know :) Let me know when you’ve left, that way everything is nice and warm”

“Okie dokie, I’m going to finish getting ready and I’ll head there soon”

“Drive safe ♥️”

You felt butterflies once again. Despite all that went on within the relationship, you still cared for him. Not being able to fully move on, your feelings always traced back to him no matter how much you tried to get him out.

As you finished with yourself, you hopped into your car and drove off. The drive was kinda of difficult due to all the many curves the route had, it also didn’t help that it was raining making you go extra slow. As you go closer and closer you noticed that his home was on a huge hill, overlooking the city. When you got out of the car, you texted him that you were outside, and he read it immediately. A couple seconds later and he had opened the door.

“Hello y/n, how’s my little sweetheart” he smiled, making you blush. His hands were behind his back as he approached you. “I’m doing fine. Thank you for inviting me over” he opened his arms for you to come into him, and you did, melting right into his embrace. When you wanted to let go, he held you in place, hugging you a little longer. You rubbed his back, patting it lightly, “I’m sorry love, I’ve missed you so much” he admitted, pulling away to see your beautiful face.

He cupped your cheeks, rubbing his thumb over the top of your cheekbones, “I’ve missed you too Druig” you whispered, his eyes looking at your lips, then back at your eyes. “May I?” He asked licking his lips. As much as you wanted to say yes, your morals made you say no..in a way “Druig…we’re friends…no feeling attached, remember?”

Druigs eyes dropped, taking a quick deep breath. “How could I forget…on the cheek then?”

Smiling, you nodded.

Druig brought you in closer, his right hand dropping to your waist, pulling you to him, his other hand went to the back of your neck, holding you in place. He gave you a kiss on your cheek, the end of his lips touching the end of yours. Your eyes shut at the feeling, butterflies erupting as his lips lingered on your skin. Pulling away, he looked down at you, giggling at your nervous reaction. “Let go inside, y/n…we don’t want the food to get cold”

As you two enjoyed breakfast, Druig was watching you closely. Studying your features once again, noticing every single motion you took. You hadn’t changed a bit and he felt content with that. While he drank he eyed you from his glass, his thoughts getting poisoned with lustful images from when you two got intimate in the past. When you looked up at him, you noticed his darkened gaze, taking a double look at him. “What’s wrong?” you asked.

His expression changed, softening up and lowering his glass. “What do you mean?” faking his confusion.

“I don’t know you looked really serious just now, almost like mad”

“DONT be silly. I’m not mad”

“Suuurree. Go in tell me, what’s on your mind”

Druig chuckled swirling his glass in his hand, debating wether or not he wanted to be honest.

“I’m not mad I’m just remembering our past”

A knot started to build up in your throat, you didn’t want to talk about that. It was painful and scary to remember how everything led to your break up.

“Y/n…I’m not over you darlin’. I hope you understand that. I invited you because I wanted us to see where we stand. Shoot my shot if possible, you know?”

“Druig…I don’t want to be rude but I don’t want to talk about this right now. I’m having such a good time with you. Why don’t we just finish having breakfast, ok?”

When you two were dating his moods changed a lot, but he always reverted to anger. He didn’t like to be told no, if he wanted something he needed it to go his way. You were expecting him to flip the table over, but on the contrary, he was calm. He just playfully rolled his eyes, smiling, “Fine, im sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just thought we were ready to start that conversation but we can bring it up when you’re ready. If you want to of course” You were in awe. This was a completely different Druig that sat across from you. Smiling like a dummy, it made you feel happy that he was able to see eye to eye with you, something you’ve always wanted with him. “Thank you for understanding”.

Finishing up, you helped him clean a little. While you were washing the last few plates, he came up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist, giving you a kiss behind your ear, “your reward for helping me clean up”. Goosebumps instantly appeared on your skin when he kissed you again. “It tickless” you giggled nudging him away with your waist. Druig felt your ass on his crotch, grunting silently at the feeling. He was starting to get hard, debating wether he should take you over the counter or just pretend like nothing happened. He reminded himself that there were bigger plans to fulfill so he needed to stay strong...for now. When he let you go, he leaned against the counter next to you, “Do you want to go to a park? There’s a really nice lake there and it smells so nice and natural. I just know you would really like it”. Pouting you shook your head, “As much as I would love that, I’m sorry I can’t. I have a lot to do before I go into work tomorrow and there’s some things I need done before tonight. Maybe some other time, yeah?” Druig once again looked disappointed, but he didn’t let his anger out, “Are you sure that can’t wait? If we go now we can be back here in like an hour or two. Let’s just go out for a walk, I swear it’ll be worth it”

“I really can’t. I have to head home now if I want to finish my work at a decent time”.

“Aww come on..please? for me?” He begged, holding your hand in his and giving it a quick kiss. You had a gut feeling that this wouldn’t end well, when he got like this it usually led to something serious. “Druig, please. I don’t want us to fight-”

“No one is fighting silly. Look I’m good. I understand that you got things to do. I’m sorry if I pushed too much”. He spoke quickly, he didn’t want you to be upset or scare you so he backed off. This helped you feel better, your nerves calmed down and that familiar bad gut feeling left you. “No worries” you smiled, heading over to the living room to get your belongings. “I’ll get you some snacks and a water to take with you. I know that the drive is quite long” he yelled from his huge walk in pantry. “Sound good thanks” you replied, looking all over your bag for your keys but you couldn’t find them. You checked in your pockets and on the sofa it was on but nothing. You traced your steps back from when you first walked in, maybe they were on the floor or something. When you walked to the front door, you saw them, going quickly to get them. “Druig, I have everything ready” you called out. When you made your way to the kitchen you heard the voice of someone very familiar. It was coming from one of the guest rooms close to the entrance. It sounded like a conversation, but that didnt make sense because it was only the two of you in the house.

The closer you got, the clearer the voice was. When you put your ear on the door, you heard it was the guy that blew you off that night at dinner. You quickly opened the door, but there was no one, it was just a recording..of your phone call with him. “what the fuck?” you said to yourself as you got close to the computer that was blasting the conversation. Clicking out of it, you were brought to the home screen. Reading all the folders made your heart stop. All of the folders had your name on it and they were broken down into categories. “Living Room, Bathroom, Bedroom, front door Cameras”. You couldnt believe this. You had no cameras anywhere, how would this even be possible. You opened one of the folders and you saw yourself showering...then you clicked on another folder you saw yourself sleeping. Starting to spiral, you clicked on his library. Seeing alot of audios, texts, video calls from YOUR phone. Druig was fucking stalking you. Starting to hyperventilate you got up, dialing a number but you immediately dropped it to the ground.

“Who are you calling?” Druigs voice scared you. He nonchalantly asked while leaning on the door frame. “Druig..what is this” you cried, backing away once he came all the way in.

“Didnt anyone teach you that going into peoples rooms without permission is extremely rude and a total invasion of their privacy?” sarcastically scolding you while he approached you with his arms behind his back. “Stop, dont come any closer, or im going to call the police” you warned picking up your phone. Druig smiled, as he cornered you. “call them” he instructed, pressing his body onto yours. Shaking, you stood still, not knowing what to do. His head dipped to your neck, his nose ghosting over it while he took your sweet scent in. “I told you to call them” he whispered, placing a soft kiss on the nape of your neck, making you get goosebumps. You brought up your phone, unlocking it but then your threw it across the room undeliberately. His eyes glowed, looking at you with his too familiar angry expression. He controlled your mind to throw your phone away, thats when you realized you were at the mercy of him. “leave me alone you psycho” you cried, trying to get him away from you, your hands pushing his chest. “God I fucking love it when you try to get tough with me. It makes everything so much more fun” he laughed, grabbing your hands and putting them right behind your back. His grip was too strong, but you still tried to wiggle them out.

“What was all that shit on the computer. How did you..I dont understand”. Druig moved you and walked you over to the bed, making you fall on your back. He climbed up onto you, pinning your hands down beside your head.

“You let me in” his sinister smirk creeping onto his lips.

“Thats impossible, I never did that.You never came back..unless”

“Go on princess, use that little tiny brain of yours to get the answer you already know”

“You made me?!”

“Thats right love. You have such an easy mind to control. It also helps that you still have feelings for me. It makes it so easy for me to slip in and out and you wont remember a single thing.”

“Youre sick. Insane. Youre fucking crazy” you yelled trying to fight against him.

“Yes I am y/n...I am fucking deranged, crazy, sick whatever the fuck you want, but you know what. Its all your fault. You made me do this. All you had to do was stay with me forever, and I wouldnt have done anything. I killed every single one of those lowlife’s you talked to. You cheated on me with all them, how fucking dare you” he said through gritted teeth as his grip got stronger and stronger. “What are you saying???We werent together, how could you kill innocent people, you monster” spitting on him, he smiled, licking the saliva that fell on his lips. “we will always be together. Wether you want to or not. Im not letting you go ever again. Not until you learn who you belong to” he collided his lips with yours, kissing you against your will. Where ever that you turned your head, he followed you. He let go of your right hand, so that he could grab your hair to control your head, making you finally stay still. He bit your lip, making you gasp and whine, giving him access to roam your mouth with his tongue. His hips were grinding against yours, his legs keeping your apart. “You make me go feral. I just need to have you...so fucking addicting” he moaned, pressing his bulge onto you, making you get all tingly.

You needed to stop this, it was all wrong. “Stop Druig, dont do this to me. Not like this” you begged. He grabbed you by your neck and pulled you up, cutting your air supply completely, “shut up. Im doing you how I want and when I want. Youre my property and Ill do with you as I please” He let you go, dropping you back down to the mattress, making you cough as you regained your air. He flipped you over and tore your leggings off, snapping your lace panties off as well. He brought them up to his nose and inhaled them in, moaning out your name. He pulled his dick out and pumped it a few times while he enjoyed them some more. His hands were no longer on you, so you quickly crawled away but he brought you right back by pulling your hair. “where do you think youre going” he pushed you down onto your tummy, spreading your legs apart. He rubbed his tip a few times over your clit, making you shudder at the feeling, “Druig...stop” you gasped when you felt him enter you slowly. “Fuck y/n....sooo tighttt” he purred, grabbing you hips as he started to pound into you. Your screams soon filled the room, grunting repeatedly with each hard thrust he gave you. “S-sto-p...Druig-ah” you begged. Druig loved the way you moaned his name, it only fueled his fire more. He grabbed your panties and shoved them into your mouth, “shush kitten, dont tell me to stop, because I wont. I went far too long without you, and I will never let that happen again. I will never let you go. Youre mine for all eternity”.

His hand dipped under you and onto your clit, rubbing you in a delicious way. His hand wrapped around neck, controlling your head. He eventually took the panties out, making it easier for you to moan and groan. “tell me youre mine” he commanded, hammering into you. “I....will never be yours...Im..going to die one day...I will be free from you”. Druig growled, going to your neck and bitting it, making you screech. “thats what you think but remember, I’m an Eternal. I have the power to mate with a human of my choosing making you mine forever. Both literally and figuratively” Druig latched onto your neck again, sinking his teeth deeper, his eyes glowed forcing some of his power into you. The final step was to spill his seed into you, channeling the energy from your orgasm with his. He pumped faster and faster, rubbing you with the same force. “Druig, no” those were your last words before you came all over his finger, making you shake uncontrollably. The feeling of your climax made Druig cum inside you, breathing heavily as he continued with the transition. Your sight started to blur, but you felt your body start to change from the inside out, your blood heating up while you heard Druigs voice in your head. “We are now one..you will be mine forever, and you'll learn to obey me, if you're clever”

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rinzis · 4 years

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what your favourite genshin impact character says about you: no holding back edition

i’m finally allowed to post again!!! great joy

aether/lumine: you’re basic as hell sorry . also stop fighting over who the better twin is they’re literally the same person but different genders. you’re pretty fun to be around ig but i feel like you eat food off the floor. 5 second rule not 5 hour rule ok

amber: ok i’ve actually met a bunch of people whose fav is amber and you guys are actually really sweet but pls learn when to stfu you’re so loud . also you guys go feral whenever someone (everyone else in the fandom) says amber sucks like chill bae

kaeya: jesus fucking christ your horny is off the scale. every kaeya stan i’ve ever met cant keep it in their pants. and we know the only reason you like him is bc of his giga bouncer supreme ultra man rack 3000. stop saying you want him to smother you with his tits. get some help.

lisa: YOU GUYS ARE COOL AS HELL!!!!!! as someone who relates to lisa you’re very cool. most chill people to be around and you’re definitely super smart. not lazy but just reserved. 11/10. oh btw do you use her for climbing?

diluc: do you have daddy issues? you guys definitely have a thing for the tsundere archetype and you probably like zhongli too. just admit you want diluc to do the kabedon thing on you and move on. we know what you’re like. also how does it feel being so short? i swear every diluc stan is small as hell

jean: YOU GUYS are so sweet pls whenever i play co op with a jean main it’s just like wow you’re so strong and nice and thanks for healing my entire team wow........ however although you’re so responsible you probably enjoy cancelling people on twitter for fun . sorry

venti: VENTI STANS. I LOVE YOU. is it partially because i myself am a huge venti stan? yeah no. you probably missed out on his first banner and are saving for his rerun..... same......... anyways you guys give off the best vibes n it’s always so fun to be with you. i love you all

razor: i have one question for you guys . did you either like warrior cats or were you a wolf kid?

albedo: you guys are so smart wtf !!!!!!!!! you’re so rational in co op mode too and if you have albedo you probably use him as a sub dps for your teammates bc you’re so good at reading situations........ then again you also have some weird shit going on like cmon it’s milk after cereal you psychopaths

sucrose: you either kin sucrose or are creepy sorry . ok but she’s so underrated like her passive 3........ WOAH.............. you definitely use her in spiral abyss,,, also are you a burnout successful kid who used to kiss teachers’ asses and middle school was a breeze before getting to college/university and realising that professors don’t give a shit anymore? wow who would have guessed

diona: wannabe catgirls assemble! please move on from your warrior cats phase you’re almost as bad as the razor stans but you’re adorable too. you probably want qiqi or klee but don’t have them so you’re settling for diona

barbara: thanks for healing my team in co op barbara stans !!!! you guys are genuinely so nice omg thank you for being so reliable all the time,,, do you highlight your notes so it’s more art than notes? yeah that’s what i thought

mona: ok if no one else is gonna say it i will,,, no one understands shit about your astrology thing going on. i’m a caprisun? great

bennett: YOURE ALL ADORABLE. thanks for helping us out in co op!!!! you definitely advocate for bennett rights and yes pls do,,,, we all love benny deep down!!!! you either don’t have him or have him at like C218372

fischl: jojo stans

just kidding but you all probably act like fischl irl. also did you have an emo phase

klee: ok if your favourite is klee you definitely don’t have her . waiting patiently for klee’s rerun!!!! shes just so adorable and so are you guys,,,,, so fun to be around !!!!! you probably have diluc and hate him

noelle: you guys....... the rarest of the rare. you love trying to convince people that she’s a great healer dps n everything else...... no bae you probably use her because you like geo and claymores like hmm yes i will now hit things hard with my big sword and rock power

ok onto liyue now sweats nervously

childe: you guys are ALL simps. ALL OF YOU. go n touch some grass bro!!!!! you either think he’s super sexy or you bully him and make the ed sheeran jokes (not funny) . you follow griffin burns on tiktok too dont you

zhongli: you either love him for his gentle demeanour or you want him for his fat giga dumptruck 3000. make up your minds!!!!! you guys are so clueless in co op mode but you’re hilarious. you probably have his energy recharge at like 200% so you can use his ult and hear I WILL HAVE ORDER every 4 seconds

xiao: STOP GROWLING AT PEOPLE. every xiao main is so aggressive not joking . yeah the only reason you saved for him is because you want to stare at him all day n listen to him growling . you guys genuinely scare me . no he would not hold ur hand and do cute things with you,,,,,, if given half the chance he’d probably decapitate you

ningguang: alright jeff bezos, hand over the cash. yeah so you’re either rolling in it or want to be her sugar baby. but you guys have such an intimidating aura like playing with ning mains is just .... you always build her so well she’s an absolute tank!!!!!! thanks for scaring the shit out of me but also protecting me

beidou: YOU GUYS. you’re fun to be around but i also feel like you could probably destroy me in 3 seconds flat !!!!!!!! do you hate diluc too? i love playing with you guys because all i hear is TO ASHES every 2 seconds and she’s just cool as hell so yeah i really like beidou stans. i feel like you all have her so congrats

qiqi: you’re so cute,,,,, best healer !!!! you probably love playing qiqi because her skills look so cool and you prefer playing heal/support,, if you don’t have her you just love her bc she’s so tiny . spoiler alert but do you have a thing against xiao for killing her lol

xiangling: you’re so chaotic help,, you definitely pair her with xinyan too because you give off the most uncontrollable vibes,,,,,,, did you level her to use her in the spiral abyss or do you just think polearms are neat and don’t have xiao or zhongli

xinyan: please reread xiangling paragraph but replace polearm with claymore . you like either bring me the horizon or bubblegum pop there’s no in between

chongyun: you’re all the nicest people ever and you’re so chill . you love chongyun with your whole hearts and i adore you !!!!!! the animation of him eating the popsicle melts your hearts (no pun intended) and you just think he’s really cool :( ily all

xingqiu: chongyun vibes but make it kinda unnerved . burnout successful kids 2.0 ,,,,, are you clever too? you also love xingqiu and believe he’s worthy of being a 5 star with his heal and damage reduce !!!!! he’s so helpful wtf and so are you . please stop going on about his legs though it’s highkey weird asf

keqing: COOL PERSON SYNDROME! i main this gal so i love you all . do you get as mad as i do when people say she doesn’t deserve to be a 5 star? yeah . are you a procrastinator and try and take lessons from keqing but are just so lazy? do you use her teleport because you can’t be bothered to climb mountains? yeah that’s what i thought

ganyu: you’re all the nicest people alive and i adore you all . thanks for being so kind in co op mode . every ganyu main i’ve met is so sweet and you’re all so powerful too woah....... you hate the cocogoat jokes too >:( pls mihoyo give her more attention !!!!!

scaramouche: you have rights guys we know you exist. also we know you want him to be playable. we know that you think his hat is neat. we know you love this shawty but please be quiet.

signora: wait you guys exist

hu tao: you prank people for fun like pls stop im so on edge when youre around . plus i feel you laugh at videos of babies falling over n shit,,,,,,, you cant wait for her banner but also please shut the fuck up

dainsleif: please leave me the fuck alone we did 1 (one) quest with him and you’re all obsessed with him . ok second hand dmitri from fire emblem you want a medal for being a fucking simp?

#for practical purposes this is a joke #a very loaded joke #so uh pls don’t get mad at me #genshin impact #genshin impact x you #genshin impact memes #kaeya x you #childe x you #zhongli x you #xiao x reader #diluc x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin venti #genshin xiao

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ndiecity · 3 years

Note

idk ur still doing the confessions thing but anyway. it's not really wild or anything, i just needed to get it off my chest lol (you can ignore this if you want this gets pretty long and confusing i think so buckle up)

also shoutout to the 6th grade anon, i had a similar 6th grade exp. middle schoolers are the worst. i literally had little no friend AND was bullied lol.

anyway there was this one girl in my class that was like a sorta popular girl i was friends with. so during 6th grade, i had no friends except for her (i dont think she saw me as a friend tho or were even friends in the first place?? idk) and i would always crave her attention. i didn't know i had a crush on her i think.

(side note: i would rate the girls in my class based on how pretty and nice to me they are, (i think i put her on 2nd lol))

so then whenever she was absent for the day i would feel sad and all that shit. whenever she was around i always do anything to please her or make her think im cool or something (i was not cool, i was a loser). we would talk endlessly on messenger, talking abt random shit, how shitty her mom was, how shitty my mom was etc. one time during our first class for the day (which was about 5am i think) she was acting weird, i asked her about it, she said her stomach hurt. so me, being all lovesick and shit gave her my lunch ( i didn't have lunch money and only had sandwiches lol) when she thanked me for it, and said she felt better, i felt so proud. idk i just felt so happy then

fast forward to end of 6th grade, we were graduating. by that i mean transitioning from 6th grade to 7th grade. anyway. so we graduated, kept in touch, still messaged her on messenger, and then school got in the way and my phone got taken away cuz i failed sum classes in the 2nd quarter. never had it back since. so we didnt talk for about 4 years.

so back in 2020, my parents got me a laptop for school, and i made a new mess. acc. i reached out to her again. we talked, talked abt shitty moms, i found out she's bi and i told her im a lesbian. after a few days i asked her if she'd ever had a gf or bf or whatever (like the idiot i was) and said she didnt have to answer if she didnt want to obvi. she said yes she's had bf's before. i said, cool. then she asked me why i was asking i told her i was just curious.

then came out of nowhere, she said, "wanna try?" so then my brain shut off and i didnt reply for minutes then she just sent a "haha"

and she was like, "oh sorry was that weird? sorry😬"

but i said it was fine and shit. we didnt talk about it for about a day.

then we were talking again and i was like, "so this is gonna sound weird but do you ever like, like someone and would want a romantic relationship with them but wouldn't like, mind being their friend instead? like youre in the middle?"

and she said "yeah, i have" so then i was like "oh cool, cool"

then she asked, "why? have you?" and i said yes.

then she asked who. and my brain shut off again lmaoo so i was just like "you" the speech bubble appeared multiple times lmao then i followed up with like, "sorry! that was weird! please just forget about it!"

then she was like, "no no, it's fine. i feel the same way" (and i beliived it. how naive was i?)

so then i was like, "really?? cool cool cool" (im a really awkward person okay)

then after a few minutes of talking again (you know when you're like flirting as a joke but then it's not a joke anymore? lol) she was like, "so wanna be my gf?"

my brain shut off again. i didnt answer for a few minutes cuz my brain was dead. then she was like, "um was that too fast? that was too fast sorryy"

by the time i read that my hand was shaking lmaoo (from nervousness or shock i dont know) so i hastily replied with, "nah its fine. i would love too" after overthinking it and shit

does dating count when your just talking over text? what is dating????

anyway we flirt a lot, saying goodnight, i love you's and shit. she said i was her first gf, i said she was my first relationship and what not. i was genuinely happy. i had a person who understood me, and liked me, and i was happy. she even said she saved my bday on her phone

so then like about a week and a before my bday was when shits started to go down.

i messaged her, said a quick goodmorning cuz i had classes and how i wanted to kill myself and shit like that (dont worry, im not actively suicidal and she already knew this) she replied and i quote "Good morning, love. I love you."

then like after classes, i messaged her, asked how her day was, told her about my day etc. i waited about an hour. (she doesnt typically reply for about 10 - 15 minutes cuz duh she does have a more eventful life than mine) so i thought none of it. thought she was just busy. so it was nighttime and still no word from her. so i said good night and wished for her to be safe.

morning came, i checked my messages, still nothing, she didnt even see it yet. i went on with my day thinking nothing of it. told myself she might have some problems at home and all that. by the 3rd day, i was pretty anxious and i couldnt think properly. my brain conjuring up scenarios where her mom found out, and her phone got taken away. anything just to convince myself what the dreaded truth was.

it was the 5th day was when i gave up. i saw she changed her pfp, and captioned it like she would normally caption it. replied to the comments, that kind of shit. so then i was so mad by then so i commented too. ofc she didnt reply. i spent days worrying over her safety, when in reality she's just an asshole. and i really thought she really like me you know? i really thought she'd at least considered me as her friend, i guess not

my bday came, we had a party but i wasn't really feeling it ya know? by then i'd already spent the past week crying myself to sleep. no one noticed a thing.

a few months ago i saw she had a bf, and by that time i already felt like my old self again, no longer the broken pathetic shell she left. i was back to square one. so i cried again.

present day, i still see her posts, her ig stories, (i dont think she blocked me). and i cant bring myself to block her either. like idk on one hand i'm so mad that she just left me hanging, that her relationship with her new bf lasted longer than we were together and on the other i knew if she ever reached out again, i would latch on to every inch of her. (that's probably bad lol)

anyway have a nice day/afternoon/night!!!! i hope i havent troubled you too much lol sorry!

Damn that's a lot to take in, I'm sorry 😔

#long post

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rikiflrts · 4 years

Text

— ꒰‧ 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲'𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 ༉‧₊˚✧

after what seemed like forever, i finally made my own prompt list! if you wish to request for the prompts that you’d like to use with a certain member, then feel free to choose any of the numbers displayed and tell me about them in the ask box (^^).

also: please be specific with the genre that you'd like to imply with your chosen prompts, thank you~ ♡

1.) "i just wanted to give you a hug"

2.) "dumbass we're lost now thanks to you!" " i already got lost in your eyes from the moment i met you but you don't see me complaining."

3.) "please don't talk to me right now, im not in the mood"

4.) "how are you so beautiful?"

5.) "my hoodie looks great on you"

6.) "how could you..."

7.) "i trusted you"

8.) "i didn't tell you to trust me."

9.) "you're leaving? just like that?"

10.) "no stop you're making me blush"

11.) "and if i am?"

12.) "just shut up and let me play with your hair"

13.) "so this is what falling in love feels like"

14.) "how are you even real..?"

15.) "are you being for real right now?"

16.) "...did you just sniff me?"

17.) "if you're that mad then why don't you just take it out on me?"

18.) "i don't mind"

19.) "you dumbass, i said i like you!"

20.) "i used to have this huge crush on you (laughs)" "used to?" "well, yeah.. i dont really like you anymore"

21.) "can i hold your hand?"

22.) "are you nervous?"

23.) "less talking, more working!"

24.) "im in love with an idiot"

25.) "but you promised me that we'd get married!!" "for the love of god, ____ we were 5 when that promise was made!"

26.) "but i still love/like you.."

27.) "this reminded me of you"

28.) "his/her/their smile is really pretty.."

29.) "just confess already!!"

30.) "you're an idiot." "yeah. your idiot."

31.) "are you even paying attention?"

32.) "does it look like i care?"

33.) "i don't really care"

34.) "it's been a while since i last smiled like this"

35.) "oh crap im starting to feel the butterflies again"

36.) "I'm scared, okay?! i can't do it"

37.) "what are you so scared of?"

38.) "im scared of falling.." "dont be, i'll catch you."

39.) "promise..?" "promise."

40.) "i guess promises really were meant to be broken."

41.) "you made a fool out of me!"

42.) "im sorry, its not you.. its me."

43.) "what about our promises??" "what about them?"

44.) "please dont go"

45.) "is/are they/he/she all you're ever going to look at?im already right in front of your attention is still focused on them/him/her."

46.) "that's it..?"

47.) "cuddle with me"

48.) "no."

49.) "his/her/their eyes were like pools; so deep. I fear that if I fall, I might never come out and reach for air."

50.) "i love spending time with you"

51.) "let's just be friends"

52.) "im sorry, im afraid of commitment"

53.) "im afraid of it too. why don't you just take this risk and overcome your fears with me?"

54.) "if its you, then i dont mind."

55.) "i love your smell"

56.) "what's that supposed to mean?"

57.) "first love really never does die huh"

58.) "hey, you look really familiar" "oh, really?" "yeah. you look like my soulmate."

59.) "if you like me so much then just marry me already"

60.) "wait i can do that?!" "your gullibility really amazes me sometimes."

61.) "are you dumb? be honest"

62.) "im not in the mood"

63.) "are you okay?"

64.) "you look horrible" "oh wow gee thanks for pointing that out sherlock"

65.) "what's in it for me?"

66.) "do you..like me?"

67.) "do you like him/her/them?"

68.) "but i wrote you letters.."

69.) "they mean nothing to me."

70.) "wow! i haven't seen you in ages, how have you been?" "we literally just saw each other 5 hours ago."

71.) "wipe that smirk off your face, its annoying"

72.) "aww, why? are you perhaps threatened that you'll end up falling for me?"

73.) "i think im going to puke"

74.) "are you blushing?"

75.) "aren't you tired of comstantly running in my mind?"

76.) "i can't get him/her/them out of my head"

77.) "your laugh sounds really pretty"

78.) "i love how your eyes sparkle whenever you're invested in something"

79.) "im falling"

80.) "oh no im catching feelings"

81.) "do you ever stop talking?"

82.) "let me get that for you"

83.) "its okay, i can pay for myself" "no. i wont let you" "but i have my own mone-" "shut up and let me spoil you!"

84.) "i refuse to stay in the same room with the likes of him/her/them!"

86.) "it was pretty obvious.."

87.) "come here."

88.) "stop doing that to yourself!"

89.) "you deserve better."

90.) "just leave. i dont want to see your face anymore."

91.) "i hate you." "the feeling's mutual."

92.) "didn't i tell you to leave me alone?!"

93.) "was it so wrong to love you..?"

94.) "if you really love me then just stay away from my sight."

95.) "you feel like home"

96.) "i love hugging you, it makes me feel safe"

97.) "i could kiss you right now!" "you're very welcome to do it."

98.) "i can't keep playing pretend"

99.) "let's put an end to this.."

100.) "i think im actually catching feelings"

101.) "this is getting dangerous.."

102.) "give me another chance"

103.) "give me one reason why i shouldnt leave."

104.) "im going to do it! im finally going to confess to him/her/them!"

105.) "you've got to be kidding me.."

106.) "i knew what i signed up for. im not surprised."

107.) "he/she/they has/have stars in his/her/their eyes and im captivated"

108.) "i love you" "nice try, but im not falling for that"

109.) "is it that hard to fall in love with me?!"

110.) "well if you put it that way, then yes."

111.) "you look happy"

112.) "you look happier without me."

113.) "can you guys please change the dare"

114.) "who gave you the right to toy around with my emotions like that?!"

115.) "i got played.."

116.) "stay out of my sight."

117.) "you're an eyesore" "you're an eye candy"

118.) "why are you still here?"

119.) "why..?"

120.) "stop making fun of me!" "make me."

121.) "was i just some kind of sick joke to you?"

122.) " i really like you "

123.) "i don't know how to express my feelings that well but i just want you to know that i'd take a bullet for you"

124.) "i'd do anything just to see you smile like that again"

125.) "what are you staring at?"

126.) "i think i have a crush on you" "you think? you're not even sure?"

127.) "take my hand"

128.) "let's get out of here."

129.) "you should wear my clothes more often"

130.) "i can teach you how"

131.) "I'm here for you"

132.) "you can use me to forget about him/her/them"

133.) "even if the world turns againt us, as long as we have each other, then we'll be alright."

134.) "you're all that i need"

135.) "you're all that i ever wanted"

136.) "you're all that i have"

137.) "please don't leave me"

138.) "I'm sorry."

139.) "look at me."

140.) "look at me and tell me that you don't love me anymore."

141.) "you're an idiot."

142.) "i don't love you anymore."

143.) "did you just drink from my cup?" "and if i did?"

144.) "im going to kill you!" "you don't scare me"

145.) "stay with me a little longer"

146.) "i knew it.."

147.) "i should've known.."

148.) "are you jealous?"

149.) "i made you a playlist"

150.) "when will you ever look my way..?"

151.) "im fine with looking at him/her/them from afar"

152.) "he's/she's/they're out of my league"

151.) "im scared of getting rejected"

152.) "back to square one"

153.) "I'm tired"

154.) "what do you like about me?"

154.) "i'd rather starve than spend time with him/her/them."

155.) "if i'm an idiot, then you're a coward"

156.) "i dreamt about you last night"

157.) "it was a nightmare"

158.) "it's the little things that he/she/they do/does that drive me insane"

159.) "i like you more than i should"

160.) "be mine"

161.) "it was too good to be true.."

162.) "i had a crush on him/her/them"

163.) "i never really thought that i'd end up falling for you"

164.) "you're adorable"

165.) "you mean the world to me"

166.) "you meant the world to me"

167.) "what happened in the past stays in the past"

168.) "careful, you might end up falling for me"

169.) "very funny, mister lover boy"

170.) "lets go out on a date"

171.) "i'm so lucky to have you"

172.) "where are you going?"

173.) "sometimes it really just gotta be like that"

174.) "hello good afternoon, what's your order?" "hell- oh wow.. you please" "im sorry, could you say that again?" "wait no! i meant- uh..oh dear.."

175.) "he's too good for me"

176.) "stop giving me mixed signals"

177.) "i guess it really just wasn't meant to be"

178.) "im not interested in you"

179.) "i cant get him/her/them out of my head"

180.) "where is/are he/she/they?"

181.) "you took my pillow so im going to use you as a pillow"

182.) "why are you avoiding me?"

183.) "did i do something wrong?"

184.) "please talk to me"

185.) "im not even his/her/their ideal type"

186.) "it wouldn't hurt to try"

187.) "you smell like me"

188.) "i like my scent on you"

189.) "that sounds weird if you put it that way"

190.) "can i call you tonight?"

191.) "you should smile more often"

192.) "i hate it when people tell me what to do"

193.) "lets wear matching outfits!"

194.) "im arresting you." "why? i didnt do anything wrong" "yes you did, you stole my heart and i want justice!"

195.) "i guess i got too caught up with my fatasies to notice that he/she/they never really liked me back in the first place.."

196.) "you're the answer to all my prayers"

198.) "you should go home."

199.) "let me come with you"

200.) "run away with me"

last updated: 12/30/20

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#random scenarios #otp prompts #prompts #promptlist #fanfic prompts #enhypen #scenarios #enhypen scenarios #fluff prompts #fluff prompt list #angst prompts #angst prompt list #writing prompts #writing prompts list

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icecoffeesimpwriting · 4 years

Note

Hey so I was thinking. Super angsty Edward x reader where the reader is upset about how he up and left like in new moon. we still go to volterra to save him, right? but as soon as he's safe you walk away. you're like "my work here is done" and eddy boi is like "what? you don't want me?" and you argue bc he's a dumb boy who you can't trust? I know you wanna see eddy boi get his feelings hurt. I support this, so hurt. his. feelings. i guess you can end it fluffy and cute too if you want :* <3

OHHHHH I LOVE HURTNG PEOPLE’S FEELINGS NGL I MIGHT MAKE MYSELF CRY WRITING THIS ALSO WARNING IM CALLING OUT ON SOME OF THE TOXICNESS I SAW WITHIN EDWARD IN THE MOVIES

Edward Cullen x Reader but plot twist the reader ends up someone else

~When Edward left you felt so broken and betrayed he had left to protect you but that didn’t make any sense

~You had given him everything, you stopped hanging out with the wolves it hurt but you had still texted them without him knowing, the wolves were pissed they saw how toxic Edward was and they knew he had under his thumb but still it wasn’t healthy for you

~After staying in your room and thinking about what had happened you had locked yourself away from the world just needing time to think

“Hey dumbass open your door”

“Go away”

“Y/n open this door or I’ll break it down you know I will”

~The voice of Leah was behind your door you knew she would keep her word and so you got out of your bundle of blankets and opened the door Leah came and looked around there were cups and plates around your room

“Damn it Y/n come on go take a shower I could smell you outside your house”

“Leah, fuck off”

“Hey you shut the hell up go shower and get ready we got somewhere to be”

“What the hell are you talking about Clearwater?”

“You need to get soooo me and you are going to go have fun and then hang out with the pack at Mom’s house plus they miss you”

~You huffed and did what as she said the shower had felt good and getting out and brushing your teeth for the first time in a while felt even better.

~When you got back into your room you saw that all the dishes and trash were picked up as well as your bed being made,

~You knew Leah had done it she always looked out for you when life was kicking your ass, you had gotten dressed and done your usual routine coming down stairs to see Leah waiting

“You ready slow ass?”

“Clearwater shut up”

~You two stared at each other and then busted out laughing you had forgotten how easy it was to talk to Leah unlike the Cullen’s you felt like you didn’t have to hold back the Cullen’s were nice and had their fun moments but most of the time you felt like you were stiff around them

~You two walked out and got into Leah’s truck as you drove around town just talking and catching up you felt emotions stir inside of you, you had feeling for Leah before you met Edward but you always pushed them away scared that she didn’t feel the same and when you met Edward it made the feelings disappear slowly but they were still there and now seeing her and talking you made you remember them and they were just as strong maybe stronger than what you felt for Edward

~As you drove around you stopped at little coffee shop in town you had came here with Leah a lot but when you dated Edward you had stopped going it felt wrong to go without her as you two pulled in you felt your mouth thinking about the amazing drinks and cakes they had when you two had placed your order you two had sat down and talked,

“So about Edward”

“What about him Leah?”

“I know you don’t want to hear this but Y/n listen to me he wasn’t good to you he was toxic and kept you away from us”

“Leah please”

“No listen, please Y/n we’ve known each other for years I know you and when you dated Edward you were not you. You were stiff and kept in a cage basically he kept you away from us”

“Leah,,,”

“You know I’m right Y/n”

~You felt like crying she was right and you hated it you hated knowing she was right Edward had kept in you in cage and hearing her say made reality hit you felt the tears spill over

~Leah reached over and grabbed your hand took you outside when outside Leah wrapped her arms around you holding you as you cried

“Y/n listen to me I know it’s hard and I want better for you I wished you could see it someone out there could love you and give you what you need, I could- I mean someone else could give you that”

~Wait what had Leah just almost confessed?

“Leah did you just say you could be that person?”

“Y/n I’m sorry I know you don’t like me like that but I-”

~You kissed her you wrapped your arms around her and kissed her

“Leah Clearwater I love you, I loved you before Edward and I was so scared that you didn’t feel the same and when I felt some feelings for him and started dating him the feelings were still there and then he took me away from you and that hurt more than anything”

“Y/n you’re a dumbass”

“Huh? I just confessed to you and you me a dumbass?! What the fuck Leah?!”

“Listen L/n I called you a dumbass for thinking a a vampire could replace me I love you more than anything but damn you think someone could replace me?”

“Pftttt Leah shut up and kiss me again”

~And she did it felt right and better than it ever did with Edward it felt passionate and warm and loving

“Alright we gotta go or else the pack will be mad at us”

~When you had gotten to the house the pack welcomed you back and they were happy to you and Leah together finally Seth had joked around that if he had to hear Leah talk about you again he would fling himself off a building and Embry jumped in and soon the rest did too all joking and picking at you two Leah was to happy to care at the moment but then when she took you home things changed

~Leah stood on guard in front of you

“Wait there’s someone in your house”

~The said person came out and there stood Alice with a shocked look on her face

“Alice what are you doing here?”

“What I am doing here is seeing what you are doing, why are with the wolves?”

“Why do you care?”

“Y/n please Edward is going to Italy to see the Volturi he wants to kill himself”

“What?! Why?!”

“I saw you get into a car with someone and get hurt and a bunch of other things and Edward saw thinking you were dead”

“Shit, Alice we have to do something”

“Wait Y/n don’t this isn’t your problem”

“Stay out of this wolf this none of your business”

“It actually is my business cold one me and Y/n are in a relationship now”

“What, Y/n tell me it isn’t true?”

“Yes Alice we made it official tonight I love Leah and I always have even with Edward and no offense but your brother is an asshole and treated me like shit! He kept me away from my friends and that’s not healthy! Leah has always treated me good I will go with you to save Edward but then I’m done I don’t care anymore I’m happy now and it took me being treated like shit from your brother to realize that Leah will always be the only one for me”

“Y/n,, I had no idea I’m sorry okay let’s go”

“Alright but Leah’s coming with us and don’t try to argue with me”

“Damn right I’m coming”

~When you two had made it there you and Leah had raced out of the car towards Edward Leah using her nose to help you to him you had finally found him and when you did he was about to step out into the sun you tackled him just in time.

“EDWARD DONT”

“Y/n you’re okay, you’re alive”

“Yeah no thanks to you”

“What?”

~You stepped away from him went back to Leah back to where you belonged

“Y/n why is she here?”

“Because Edward I’ve moved on I came here to save your sorry ass and now I’m going back to Leah and the pack I’m sorry but we weren’t good together you treated me bad and kept me from my friends I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore I’m going back to Forks with Leah and I’m going to forget about you”

“Y/n please”

“Please nothing goodbye Edward I hope you treat partner better than you did me”

~When you two left you felt no guilt you were with the love of your life and and were finally happy and that’s how it should be

~fin~

#edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #leah clearwater #leah clearwater x reader

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uchihashisuii · 4 years

Note

tumblr is tryna suppress the vik truth 😔 so sending in two here we go again:

scenario where johnny is alive and in a body at the end but i think v and johnny would become... maybe not inseparable, but theyd stay extremely close. i mean they literally know each other like the backs of their hands, so theyd hang out all the time, and both show up somewhere when you only invited the one. theyre family now, and its staying that way and sometimes theyd go to talk to the other before realizing oh yeah, they were trying to talk in their head again, they dont need to do that anymore. or theyd have mostly non verbal convos where they gesture and only half start a couple sentences while the other finishes them off because they know how they other thinks, and everyone around them is like ??? could ya speak up so the rest of us can follow please. and v and johnny will hang at the clinic bc v wants to hang, and vik gets to meet the bastard that almost killed her for the first time. and hed be gruff and cold and distant (and a little pissed) because yeah johnny didnt mean to but it still happened, she was still hurt and a mess for so long, and she had so much shit to deal with. he doesn't act outright hostile or anything because he saved her too in a fucked up way, and he'll be thankful to the bastard for the rest of his life for that, even if he never admits it.but hes also veeery jealous and trying not to show it. he doesnt mean to, but theyve got this bond no one else has now, and these same quirks and jokes and johnny understands her better than literally anyone ever, how could he not be jealous of that? hes got something vik wants, and hes upset for even thinking like this i mean hes too old to feel posessive of someone he has no right to. and he recognizes this, recognizes that johnnys not going away anytime soon. hes here for good and will be here as long as v's around, theyre a weird package deal right now, but he cant stay mad for long and needs to get over being jealous because he sees why theyre both friends now despite everything. like yeah hes a prick but his hearts in the right place, and he can be funny and charming and makes v laugh, and he sees the similarities in them. the smoking, the gun tricks, the jokes and the passionate rambling, they laugh the same or give the same grin. hes not as awful as hes made out to be, because he can see where v and him started merging and its maybe not a bad thing that v changed him, he can see it from the start of their first interaction. he shouldnt be jealous of the fucked up situation they both never asked for.

(cut for length ♥)

“ - anyway all of this to say that vik would absolutely try to keep johnny at arms length if they ever met, but would very quickly grow to like him because he sees so much v in him, and he cant not like anything thats a part of v (though he can live without them hamming up their silent convos, thank you) and johnny would absolutely pick up on the jealousy thing and think it kind of funny, and rib on vik when v leaves for a minute, or tease v when they leave because viks got it bad. and once all of thats been dealt with i think vik and johnny would have this fun dynamic of like, just shitting on each other and poking fun in a light hearted way. as if like, johnnys her brother and hes just tryna hold up his own with her family. and they wont talk about it but theyd recognize they have their own places in v's heart and theyd both do anything for her and thats okay, they have different roles to fill. i just think vik and johnnys dynamic would be so neat, johnny having essentially known everything about him and all v's feelings toward him, while vik just knows him as a terrorist, and the guy that was killing someone soso important to him. johnny would make fun of vik being an old timer, and vik would dunk back that not only is johnny older than him but he could absolutely demolish him with one hand tied behind his back. but yeah, lot of good potential there. i love the idea vik being jealous of johnny and feeling like an ass for even thinking like that. johnny going 'haha simp' but then also being like 'v, i unfortunately care for you so im gonna tell you right now no one in this city is worthy of you but the doc is the only one that comes close. i swear to god make a move on him before he turns green, i cant stand seeing him pine after you. fuck him and then never speak to me about it, i dont wanna know or see anything. luv u prick' and not to say that johnny would ever replace jackie bc he couldnt, and theyre not looking for a replacement. but their dynamic would echo the one v and vik had with jackie with the jokes and teasing. and vik would see the old v, the one from before the heist come back a little with how she bounces off everyone and keeps the convo going. shed light up again in a way she hadnt in what feels like a long time. and johnny wouldnt like, become bffs with vik or anything but he wouldnt treat friendships the way he did back in 2020, so he would really try with his friendship with vik when he needs to, if only for the sake of v. because everything and everyone important to her is important to him now too, and hes gonna take this second (third?) chance seriously because hes different now, and with everything vs done for him its worth doing. (apologies for the length again 🙏)”

------------

once again i find myself with not a goddamn thing to say you put into exact words EXACTLY the things i feel about this im

im obsessed with the image of johnny and vik ripping each other to pieces (jokingly) and v being in the middle of it like “why do two people i love gotta b like this to each other” and johnny being the one to try nd get them together oh my GOD johnny loving v with his whole heart and wanting nothing but the best and for them to be happy im

#i love your messages sm keep em coming #viktor vector #viktor vektor #victor vektor #victor vector #rippermerc #johnny silverhand #cyberpunk 2077

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qk1 · 3 years

Text

gonna post a dang dream cause it was dang weird and I want a link to send

it was in the form of like, a movie? main character is me but is blonde girl, looking like stock 30-something protagonist chick from an apatow movie. but this is some sort of drama. i can't tell whats going on specifically because the dialogue makes no sense. i am arguing in a room with some other girls, ones older, scolding me i think. i get my things and go.

i get in my car, but where i was parked was in some grass. while driving into the road, i realize its a much steeper dropoff onto the road than i thought, and it bottoms out and damages my car. brand new car all fucked up. im mad but oh well, i drive on.

seems the movie keeps switching genres because now its like a dumb 2000s era college comedy where i keep getting into small accidents as im driving. more and more of the car gets damaged. but like, damaged as in gets hit and falls off completely.

eventually i am driving what is basically a car frame with just wheels, engine, and a couple body panels left (which is funny because that joke doesnt work anymore since nowadays cars dont have frames like that, theyre unibodies, so fuck you dream). i am super pissed off cause there goes my new car, and its all because hundreds of stupid people keep crashing into me.

im driving out in the woods and its getting dark. now the genre switches to horror as i am forced to abandon whats left of my car, on a dark country road in the woods. the last guy i crash into is one last jock from the comedy who is trying to apologize to me stupidly when he gets utterly gored from behind by some mchael myers killer dude.

so obviously i take off running. i try to stay on the road but it turns into trail anf then just into forest. i am gradually less aware of my surroundings until im not even sure why im running and i end up on a train.

there are a couple people on the train, presumably the party i boarded with, but i don't know them. i try to warn them qbout the guy chasing me but they just laugh. then he shows up and kills another person.

he manages to hit me a couple times, and now im like the car from earlier, pieces of me coming off. but its just cosmetic damage this time, for lack of a better phrase. little bits of flesh here and there.

i get hit on the head and i think im fine. but when i examine the damage, a piece of my skull, between my temple and forehead, comes off in my hand, sticky strands of blood and meninges detatching as i pull.

i escape enough to lock myself in a dark-ish bathroom with one other person. i can see enough that i can tell its in a home, not a train. theres a full size tub and a pedestal sink. the other person is pacing back and forth, gesticulating and rambling.

shes explaining some barely comprehensible paranoid delusion about how dreams, ones with a series of scenarios like I'm having, are some kind of matrix prison thing. our souls or consciousness or whatever are forced to jump from one body/reality to the next while the body is perpetually sleeping, somnambulantly performing menial tasks necessary for the prison to function.

the dreams act as instructions for the body. like, in the dream im, say, taking a food item out of a fridge, but in physical reality, my sleeping enslaved body is doing some job that requires bending over, opening a container, and taking a thing out to put into some other container.

but are the dreams just post hoc rationalizations for the otherwise incomprehensible tasks my body is forced to perform, unbeknownst to me, beyond my control?

I brush off their schizophrenic conspiracy yheory and leave the dark bathroom, abandoning my plan to assess my damage in the mirror. im sure its fine

i walk out and im in an apartment. but its somehow mine? and im hosting a party? but i dont know the place or the people so i guess it's still movie mode. im hungry as hell and all the fast food burgers somebody bought got eaten. i go to the fridge and try to microwave some white castle burgers.

but then everyone is leaving and i have to go with them? for some reason? and this is now like, a lame teens dramedy? like, juno or something? i hate it still? i grab the obly thing in the fridge left and leave with them. we're out in a neighborhood street as the sun is coming up.

its the old abandoned neighborhood trope again. this neighborhood is tree lined and was probably pretty, but recently abandoned but there must have been a storm. everything is wet leaves and branches broken off the trees strewn about, clogging the road.

i still have this weed in my hands and im idly picking out stems as we walk. but as i pick i come to realize its just about all stems and either i dropped the flowers or there never was any real weed in it. and im finding inchworms.

i freak out and drop all of it as i realize all the "stems" in my hands are inchworms or some other kind of caterpillar/worm. i try to point out how weird this is but i look up and whoever i was walking with are all gone. im looking around for people and i just see wet broken branches and dead houses.

i notice a big arm-width, 12 foot or so branch is kinda moving. i look closer and its not a branch, its also a worm thing, with that same dry caterpillar texture. freaks me out. but im thinking i must be seeing things, it looked just like a branch a second ago. i look closer at the end of it and i can see its dead-eyed bug face turn toward me.

but for slme reason, maybe because of the fear and panic im feeling, i can see far too much detail (this high-res sharp detail thing happens a lot in my dreams). its face, and all its alien bug features, seem to be segmented, or a lattice of some kind, made up of little spider-like eyes. but the eyes start squirming, like im seeing the tips of larvae in a beehive.

and from these little orifices out pop, one by one, those little stem-like inchworms, the worm was worms all along, all the way down, its all bugs and crawly and wet leaves and dry wiggling worms and i wake up

#dream #unibody vs body-on-frame

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years

Text

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend.

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go.

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~ *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E V E R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe.

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what”

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too...

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink...

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

ASDFGHJKL

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much.

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will.

b l o o d s m i l e

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel.

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

t h a t ‘s l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~

i l o v e y o u

#erileck #<- ref tag #arthur fleck #joker 2019 #erika talks

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

Text

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.” CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well. okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

#tgcf liveblog #so close and yet so far......#i keep hearing tell of this fabled book 4 i must press onwards......#but now im sleepy.....#mouse mumbles

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dilsdoes · 3 years

Text

dont reblog

how do i feel about what i have been through. ive been through a lot, but how do i feel.

i am so incredibly angry at j for taking away so much of my childhood. im so confused because we were both kids, the same age, but she ruined me so much. im so scared of being vulnerable and trusting someone to take care of me because i just remember giving so much over and over and over and never expecting anything in return, because thats not why i gave, never getting anything back anyway. id give vulnerability and get nothing back. shed ditch me all the time, shed beg me to do things with her for support and then when i asked her to do the same she ditched.

i dont know if ill ever forgive my dad for all the broken promises. i will never forget how scared i was watching him slam on our door demanding my mother come out so his family could "come see his witch of an ex wife" while i stood, 10 years old and terrified, and they asked him to stop. ill never forget how he hit me hard enough i fell to the ground and then acted like it didnt make sense that i was upset. it doesnt make sense why hed be confused why i wouldnt want to be alone with him when hes hit me and my mom and threatened to hit me before. ill never forgive him for refusing to pay to feed me, just to make my mother mad, ill never forgive him for accepting an invitation i had to fucking beg for, to bend the rules for him, only for him to not show. ill never fucking forgive him for forcing me to sit all night next to an empty fucking chair. i hate him so much and i hate how much everyone treats me like im crazy for hating him when he hates my mother so much more than he loves me. he doesnt make any sense and he knows it and i hate him. i hate him so much. he used to be my dad. he used to be my fucking dad.

im hungry. we have no food, although well do groceries tomorrow. we often have no or very little food, and even less that i can eat. i feel guilty for wanting things, even food, and i feel disgusting for being guilty. i feel disgusting for being anything at all most days. i wish i was a robot so id never let anyone down. i wish i never needed anything, not water or words, and i could just be what everyone needed. i wish i was perfect so people would stop being mad, so i would stop hurting people, so people would stop being hurt. i hate being human and having needs because i cant do what everyone wants. i hate myself so much, i wish i was something better. i wish i was a perpetual motion machine, whirring away, pretty and clean, i wish i was everything and nothing at all, i wish i was huge and impossibly small.

sometimes i get scared that im not being me withtb my girlfriend, but i dont know who i am. like ill edit a text 3 times before sending it but i do it immediately without noticing. i do this on tiktok and twitter too. i do it everywhere. its so hard to let my guard down when people never know its up.

i feel disgusting. i dont care that its not the right feeling, i feel disgusting and repulsive and wrong all the time, and i know it doesnt make sense but i feel like the most repulsive thing in the world, a pitiful thing, a sorry thing, everyone thinks im so naive and stupid and at this point its probably because i am. im so repulsive. i wish i could scoop my insides out so i dont have to be in here anymore. i wish i could just crack my ribs open and let all of me out, like those spreaders they use for open heart surgery, like an angel maker, i feel so horrible and awful, i just feel wrong all the time and i hate myself so much. i hate myself so fucking much. what am i? what am i? sometimes i hate myself so much i want to throw up because its the closest i can get to scooping my insides out. i wish i could be someone else. i wish i was perfect. i wish i was perfect. i wish so much and every day that i was perfect in every way just so that i could stop wanting wrong things all the time. i hate myself so much. its impossible to be perfect, but i have to be. i have to be. i have to be. i have to be.

i almost died several times in my life. i didnt let myself think about how much i was going through when i was hospitalized. i remember a nurse asked me how i was doing and i said fine, and she asked if i was sure because id said i was fine every day since i came here and i said yes and she said well, a few days ago you tried to kill yourself, and i said, without a hint of irony, "yeah but that was days ago. its passed now." and i just. god i almost died. i could have died. i swallowed 28 pills with the intent of just. something. anything. i just needed some help. i needed help so fucking bad, amd i didnt know what i needed. and my mother watched me pop them out and asked my if i was going to kill myself because she was saying something i didnt like and i just needed some fucking help. i didnt know what but everything was always falling apart and i needed some fucking help. i needed some fucking help. i needed so much help. i got it but i look back at all the ways i asked for help over and over and over again and just said "i need help. i dont know what to do but i tried to swallow a handful of pills. i dont know what to do but i think im depressed. i dont know what to do but i feel like a failure at all times" and i was just told i was overreacting. every feeling is an overreaction. "what am i supposed to do about it?" im hungry, im tired, im hurting, im anxious, "what am i supposed to do about it?" jesus christ i dont fucking know, im 16 and youre 60, please god just help me. just listen to me, just hear the words im saying and dont tell me im lying, just believe me when i say im in pain.

i dont know when im in pain anymore. i cant trust anything unless someone else confirms it. i hate it when people make jokes questioning the reality of something when im specifically asking if its true. i just want things to exist. like theyre not real if its just me. i dont count. i dont matter. my opinion isnt worth shit. please. please give me this. please help me. i feel pain and i just live with it until it stops and then i realise i was in pain. because its gone. once my mom tried to convince me to run on a broken ankle. i dont feel real on my own and im trying so hard to but god almighty its so hard when im still surrounded by people who tell me im wrong.

#dils is depressed #dont fucking reblog this.

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donotlookatmyface · 4 years

Text

03 /27 - 6 : 29 a.m.

you lost him, its all your fault.

what do you do ? where do i go ? there was so much i still wanted to do. this isnt fair.

why didn’t i change when i had the chance ? why didnt i listen when he told me that i needed to change ?

this all feels like a bad dream, just a huge bad dream that i’ll wake up from soon. he’ll be by my side and we’ll be together soon.

but it just doesnt make sense, you were just happy with him. you guys were just okay everything was okay. you just kissed him, you just had him in your arms and he just made love to you days ago. did he not mean any of it ? how long did he reassure me just to break my heart like this ? i dont want to take it anymore,

i love him and i dont think i can love someone else. i dont want anyone else. there was never anyone else who can make me as happy as he does.

why doesnt he want to try ? just one month and i swear i’ll be better. I’ll be the best of the best. i dont pick fights on purpose i just word things wrong and say the wrong things at the wrong time without knowing without any thought.

i never thought i would feel the way i do

i never thought i would feel like i need to cut, not like this. i want to drink i want to smoke i want to get fucked up and i wont because its just not worth it, is it ?

it was dark and i could barely see him when he told me, i had him in my arms minutes ago. i jut wanted to know what was on his mind.

i wanted to know if he was okay, he told me he was stressed from work and home and us, i told him it was okay and that things will be better.

at the end of the day he says he loves me, but if i respect him that i’ll let him do this decision. and i do, i really do but i dont want to believe its true. this is just a bad hallucination, this is just a huge joke, this is just a dream, this is not happening to me.

i love him very much and i feel so much for him what can i do to make the pain go away.

i cant sleep and when i do i wake up crying. there is no escape.

hes sleeping in the living room floor and i patted him and told him i cant sleep. he told me to go to bed, i asked him to come with me that i dont think its okay for him to sleep on the floor, he goes back to sleep.

i tried moving my blanket with me to the living room to sleep next to him, but i got up as soon as i knew he would be mad at me for doing something like that.

i can sleep and its almost 7 in the morning

i love him more than i’ve loved anyone else.

would you try to preserve the friendship or relationship ?

did i pick the wrong one when i said i would want to stay with you ?

i want to be with you, i told him a day doesn’t pass by that i dont think about our future together. he asked me if its what he wanted, i told him i dont know.

ive imagined us having two kids, moving out to colorado with our cats. in a home thats not big but just comfortable for us. i would be his wife and him my hardworking husband. he would be lenient with the kids, i would be strict and we would just balance out like that. even with having kids, we would still go on dates like we used to when we were younger. going out to places like bowling alleys or red robin.

everything was going so good.

and now i want to kill myself, but i wont tell him that. this is just a phase and everything will be fine. thats what he told me. that everything will be fine.

but im not fine

i dont know when i’ll be fine again

im not going to take the new job, and im not going to work tomorrow

i feel to bad and too sick to do anything

he didnt kick me out, he told me it was fine if i stayed here. just as long as i didnt try to get back with him.

im so sad and pathetic

after all ive ever done for him it all feels meaningless

but it can't be, because

because this is all just a bad dream

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shhh-no-ones-home · 5 years

Text

speechless chris motionless x reader

+++++++++

wow this is so long, oh well, lol

hes mad cute

song: addicted to love by robert palmer, covered by Florence and the machine

tag list: @thisplace-ishaunted @ryansitkowskiswifey @alilpunkrock @theoneandonlykymberlee

+++++++++

i watched chris nervously step closer to where ryan and i were standing. he had been acting a little weird lately and i couldnt quite figure out why. the last couple times we had talked he was fidgety and tripped over his words, which was weird for him. normally he was very intelligently spoken and moved with such swagger around people. almost like he was trying his hardest to impress everyone.

"hey ryan."

he said quickly. i frowned.

"im here too ya know."

he looked down at me and let out a nervous laugh, one that came out a little too loud.

"right, hi y/n."

i huffed out.

"hi chris. hows it going?"

"uhh..."

i raised a brow.

"ya know what, ive gotta go."

ryan and i exchanged glances as he quickly walked away from us, avoiding everyone's gaze and staring intently at the ground as he moved. i turned back to ryan.

"what the heck was that?"

he just shrugged at me and took another sip of his beer.

"beats me, ive never seen him like this before, even around like girls he likes. surely it couldnt be something like that."

i kicked the rocks under me haphazardly.

"what do you mean?"

he set his empty bottle on the ground.

"well normally when he likes a girl hes all like suave and shit, making jokes, getting her to laugh, small touches, flirty and shit. like theyve been best friends forever."

i raised a brow.

"but hes never acted like this. its almost like hes super nervous about something."

i crossed my arms over my chest and looked in the direction he had walked off in.

"hmm, maybe we'll just have to get to the bottom of this one then."

he laughed at me and nudged my arm.

"yeah, you have fun with that, i dont wanna be lumped into this one. i learned my lesson last time you tried to drag me into one of your crazy ideas."

i looked at him and frowned.

"it was not a crazy idea."

he sent me a look.

"yes it was, we were locked in the dressing room for almost an hour. no one could get us out and we were almost late to our own show."

i let out a nervous laugh.

"okay, youve got me there, i forgot about that one."

he patted my back lightly.

"yeah, ill see you later. try not to get yourself in too much trouble."

i watched as he started walking away from me towards the venue.

"ill try my hardest."

now i needed to come up with a plan. try and figure out why chris was acting all weird and shit. and i needed to do it fast, like before dinner. i walked quickly to the bus and went straight to my bunk. i scrolled through my phone for ideas, trying to brainstorm how to get him to talk to me. hell i was even looking at those stupid snap chat stories about how to tell if someone has a crush on you. nothing was helping though. then ricky walked to the back of the bus.

"rick!"

he jumped and clutched his chest.

"jesus christ y/n cant you give a dude a break every once in a while?"

i laughed a little and jumped down from my bunk.

"absolutely not, but i have a question."

he looked at me annoyed.

"what?"

"do you think chris has been acting weird?"

he raised a brow.

"not around me he hasnt. why did you say something to him?"

"well, no, thats why i was asking. everytime hes been near me for the last like week and a half hes been super nervous and cant talk right. its super weird for him to say the least."

he shrugged.

"i dont know, i havent noticed anything like that, you could go talk to him about it if you really wanna know whats up though."

i stroked my chin and thought.

"i guess youre right, given hell actually talk to me."

i looked up at him.

"thanks rick, ill see you at dinner."

i grabbed my jacket and made my way to the front of the bus and as soon as i was reaching for the door handle to leave it swung open and there was chris.

"oh, sorry y/n."

he stepped back to let me out, i reached for his hand before he could walk onto the bus after me though.

"hey, can i talk to you for a second?"

he looked worried.

"uh, what about?"

i sent him a look.

"just come here."

he hesitated.

"please?"

he sighed.

"okay."

i pulled him to follow me around the other side of the bus.

"chris is something wrong?"

he raised a brow.

"no?"

i crossed my arms over my chest.

"are you sure? cause youve been acting really weird lately."

he let out a nervous laugh.

"so you did notice."

"yes?"

i said hesitantly, dropping my arms.

"look, its nothing, just dont think about it."

i reached for his hand but he tried to pull away. i grabbed it anyways and sent him a look.

"dude, why are you so sweaty?"

he pulled his hand out of mine and shoved it in his pocket.

"look, just leave me alone, its nothing."

he pushed past me.

"chris you can talk to me!"

i called after him but he just kept walking. i stood their defeated for a second before something clicked. if he wasnt gonna talk to me then i was gonna get him to talk to someone else.

---

"dude are you alright?"

i heard aj say from the other side of the cracked door. chris just groaned.

"why does everyone think im not okay?"

"i dont know man, maybe cause youve been acting weird."

"i have not."

i pressed my back firmly against the wall and whispered "yes you have." to myself.

"come on man, somethings gotta be bothering you. is it y/n?"

"why the hell would it be y/n?"

he said defensively. so it was.

"so it is y/n."

aj said mater-of-factly. chris just sighed.

"can you keep a secret?"

i raised a brow, assuming aj just agreed with him but didnt say anything.

"she just does something to me. i didnt think about it before but she did, this thing, like two weeks ago and i cant stop thinking about it. and not to mention the endless flirting. its getting to me. bad. i think im in love."

my eyes went wide. i wish i knew what it was i did that drove him so mad.

"dude she flirts with every one, thats just how she is."

"i know aj but it was different. i see how she flirts with everyone else and it wasnt like that. it was nice, and genuine."

his voice dropped in volume. he seemed smitten.

"she makes me weak man, my hands get all sweaty and i cant think straight when shes around. i dont know what to do about it."

i breathed deeply and put my head in my hands. if only he would just ask me out.

"and what about the thing that she did? that started all of this?"

my head snapped up. god bless you aj for asking the important questions.

"yeah, i dont even really know what it was. it was just her, like actually her. her personality and the way she just moves. it was unlike anything ive ever seen before, like a curtain had just dropped."

fuck. i knew exactly what he was talking about. i had a tendency to make personalities for different people, act how they wanted me to act and cater to their personal needs. but when i was around him it felt like i didnt have to do that anymore. he dropped his facade for me and i kinda did the same back, we had gotten so much closer up until that point and he saw me for who i really was for the first time ever and that was rare.

"maybe you just like talk to her or something."

i laughed a little to myself that you could barely hear.

"how the hell am i gonna do that? i cant even get words out when shes in the same room as me."

i pushed off the wall and started pacing around the hallway.

"well come on then."

i froze and turned around, walking quickly to the door again. i watched it swing open and aj pulled chris out into the hall, the two of us running into each other.

"shit!"

i said as i fell into him and he tried to steady me.

"are you okay?"

aj laughed.

"look, its perfect timing."

i looked up at him as he winked at me and walked back into the room. chris let out a nervous laugh and scratched the back of his neck.

"sorry about that. uh can i talk to you y/n?"

i looked up at him and nodded.

"yeah, sure, whats up?"

he took my hand in his and walked a little further down the hall so we werent near the door anymore.

"you asked me earlier what was wrong and i told you nothing but i lied."

i inhaled deeply.

"okay?"

he held both my hands loosely.

"ive been acting weird because i dont know what to do with myself around you. you drive me crazy in such a good way and i cant think straight. my knees get weak, my hands get clamy, i cant eat, i cant breathe."

i pulled one hand out of his and put my finger to his lips to shush him.

"chris you dont have to do that."

he took my hand away from his face.

"but i do. i love you y/n and its killing me."

i bit my lip and just stared up at him. he squeezed my hands.

"please say something. reject me, gratify me, tell me im not crazy, just say something."

i reached up and grabbed his face, pulling him down to me and kissing him deeply. then i heard cheering from behind me and let him go to see who it was. it was aj. i turned back to chris and we both just laughed.

"that enough words for you?"

i asked as i felt a blush creeping its way up my face. he nodded.

"yes. god yes."

he pulled me closer to him and kissed me again. when we pulled away we just smiled at each other like idiots.

"y/n will you be my girlfriend?"

i smiled at him and nodded.

"id love to."

#wattpad #x reader #chris motionless #miw #unedited #one shots #imagines #166

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brykisheaven · 4 years

Text

i didn’t want to make a post like this because i dont a pity party or anything but i have to get this out of my head before i end up bottling it up and making it worse like i’ve done before. //tw: body shame, verbal abuse, suicide mentions, racism (small mention) , long text in general tbh//

over the past couple of months, my life at home has been completely all over the place, every day when i wake up i feel like it’s just a cycle of nothing, all i do is sit at home doing online classes and finishing massive amounts of homework, some even due the next day. my back is so tired from just sitting down and typing and it has just made me so bored and stressed out. more so these days, the only reason i even bother to do my homework is because i can also talk to my friends on discord while im doing them, which makes me slightly feel better, sometimes i even give up on doing homework just to talk to them because it gives me a better reason to wake up than just do the same thing over and over again. it’s a horrible feeling that i hate but im very thankful i have my friends to make me feel a bit better. but my situation with my parents is more worse than this and sadly my friends cannot help with it, but they also help me stay somewhat happy while this shitstorm goes down every day. my parents have been getting more and more angry towards each other also, which makes my situation even worse, my father (who doesn’t live with me anymore) is so fucking horrible and stubborn, he makes racist jokes which i hate and i always tell him how he should stop being a fucking idiot and a jerk but he wont listen and just tells me “it’s a joke” but it’s fucking not, or at least its a fucking horrible disgusting joke, alongside that, he also makes me feel like i cannot do anything, i hate being with him and i dont even see him as my father anymore, nowadays i just see him as a random man my mother makes me go with only because he’s related to me in a way. his wife is also a fucking bitch who hates the living hell out of me and my sisters, she always complains about us and how we’re “uneducated” or “bad-behaved”, well bitch guess what at least im not a fucking prick who ruins peoples lives am i??? i cant even pretend to be happy anymore, im just so done pretending to be fine with this. I just came back from staying with him and i’m just so glad im home, the 2 days i spent with him after a whole 3 months were the worst of my life basically, i pretended to do my homework just so he could leave me alone, i began crying myself to sleep while drawing because that was the only thing that made me feel better somewhat. i dont want him to even stay in contact with my mother, all the time he just argues how im doing things wrong and that my mother is a bad example and teaching me wrong things, he blames her for the reason i have a rather thick body and it makes me so mad. my mother isn’t that great either but at least she tries to understand me, unlike my father who always thinks he’s right. i cant even wear dresses or skirts because all he does is tell me how ridiculous i look and how i should be skinny like every other girl, and every time he tells me that all i do is just ignore him but when i come home, i just want to vomit until all i see is blood. i’ve stopped eating for weeks one time because of this, im too afraid to even wear anything beside jumpers because it’ll reveal what my body type is. i hate how i cant even like myself, some times i feel like i should start cutting myself or try to kill myself again because whatever i do, it’s wrong to him, maybe if i die he’ll think i did something right. what i did right was not exist isn’t it? i dont want to though because i have such good friends on here and i dont want to leave them. my friends are the one of the only few reasons i even am here anymore, if it wasn’t for them i wouldn’t even bother. i would probably just cry and hope the next day i get run over or something like that. my father also always complains about how im doing a stupid hobby and i wont get anything out of drawing and sometimes calls me a mistake because i dont want to have a “real” job like everyone else in out family, but guess what idiot, drawing is a real job and one day i will prove it to him that this isn’t some stupid hobby, but now this has also taken a toll on my art and confidence to post any of it, im too scared to post my art because im afraid people just think it’s stupid or im annoying them by posting too much or too little. i haven’t gotten many complaints about it but every time i post anything i overthink and worry for a while hoping they wont hate it. so far i think i’ve been getting better managing the anxiety of it but another thing that worries me is the thought people might get angry of me drawing 4 all the time. the reason why i draw 4 so much is because she’s sort of like a comfort character to me, she was made out of my feelings and was a persona for a short amount of time, i put a lot of myself into her and i love drawing her but i worry people will get bored of seeing her all the time, so thats why i might stop posting content for a bit. 4 is something special to me, whenever i get upset or feel happy, i feel like she’s making me feel happy, it sounds stupid but 4 has helped me overcome many of my bad thoughts and feelings, she’s also one of the reasons im still trying to be happy. thats the reason why i draw her so much. and i wont stop to draw her, and im sorry if you dont like to see her so much but i will not stop to do so, if it bothers you that much please unfollow me. im so sorry i rambled for so long thank you for reading and i love you ((also to devon and soapy and mel, if you’ve read up to here, i love you guys with all my heart i love you too much thank you)) 💕

#vent tw

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