#i dont really know exactly what happened but i know it wasnt great.

[jjmej]

so apparently euthyrox changed their formula, which is a bit worrying, considering that the last time a medication for the exact same thing did it, it caused problems for a lot of people.

at least they wrote it on the box this time??

[orcelito]

Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !

[gendernonconformingrambles]

Would really like to have my life figured out for once

[sereniv]

apologies are hard and can be embarassing

but life is too short to let your grandma go to bed sad

[tgcg]

this is my element (+ album)

asking me to pick my fave album is like asking an orphan matron to pick her favorite baby boy

thats some weird and cruel circumstances to put upon me i feel like it changes every damn week like a rota

i mean what if my beats misbehave and i gotta put 'em in time out i cant play permanent on that theyre too cute

but yknow what i can show you one thing thats been on my mind lately

===

so when i was a kid we had this skateboard vid by "element skateboards" on DVD

they were this skateboard kit slash apparel company that was all about progressivism and shit and they did these much lauded comp tapes of dudes riding around on their boards and doing the dopest of macho tricks on the shit

flipping it turnways

putting the rock in the house like a big man

we had some of their merch actually

===

so anyways the one we had back then was This Is My Element

released 2007

mostly clips from cali i think and i mean the camerawork is fucking insane on some of those shots

this is gonna sound lame as fuck but i prob spent so many cumulative hours just peelin through the footage and ogling the shit outta it

that framing was tight

===

so you may be asking yourself or me

dave you genuine dicksucker i asked about your fav album not your favorite sordid ass display of smooth dudes hardcore riding and grinding them boards in public dude you have a problem

ok well that wasnt a question first of all so jot that down

but anyways to THAT i say

listen to the music

the whole thing has an original soundtrack of ambient beats

got some abstract hip hop jams, got some more indie stuff, lots of acoustic sampling

HELLA underground

and basically every track minus one is done by sampler beast david p. madson AKA "odd nosdam"

dude is my hero seriously

he is the master of the beat machine i shit you not hes always been kinda my idol on this stuff

aside from bro obviously

===

obviously.

===

anyways he had an E-mu SP-1200 which is a really oldschool sampler invented by dave rossum in the late 80s

revolutionary to the hip hop scene

nosdam had this mega distinct sound to his music that i always wanted to replicate on my own beats

still do

i dont know for sure if he used it on T.I.M.E. but he uses some of the same samples from "vol. 9" which was exclusively SP-1200 so im gonna get a lil j’accuzi on that

it couldve been a boss dr sampler SP-202 though idk

he had one of those

===

so aside from beating the shit out of the pause/resume button to flip my whole cranium at the cinematography or whatever i would also kinda play it on loop to listen to the soundtrack and space out at 2am

the lonely broner seemed to free his mind at night

ok shit broner is good but i didnt mean it like that

that was goofy lets just keep movin

it was the only way i had to listen to it back then but i mean the video is 50 mins long so its basically just an odd nosdam album with accompanying ambient skater sounds and random expletives and whatever

random car sequence

yknow what i dont think people respect enough?

the dude who catches all the "mad stunts yo" on camera

i swear to god at least half the time hes ALSO on a board and that shit is bananas to me

bros gotta be on some whole other level of zen to skate good AND catch all them glamor shots of his fellow skater

thats like an express ticket to the ER imo

the ambulance is already on the scene watching you like an eager crow watches a half dead dog

===

ok gonna go ahead and lay it out flat

not great on a board myself

kinda dogshit at it actually

so maybe im not exactly an arbitrator of skateboard heinousness

but i always kinda liked watching THEM do it i mean who doesnt?

whats an even crazier layer to stack on the "dave" cake is

and dirk told me this because unfortunately it kinda happened post-2009

he would do all these collabs with one of my childhood favorite underground rappers david cohn aka serengeti

surrounded by daves left and right dude even before all the time travel horseshit

thats like

serendipitous as fuck i think!

===

if sburb was just a revolving door of artists called dave that i could bump fists with

instead of other mes in various states of aliveness tending toward extremely dead

i wouldve probably given it something higher than 2 stars on my TGN review

===

so yeah you ask me my favorite album its T.I.M.E. by odd nosdam i guess

bump that shit on a walk your mind will go places unknown to man

[iznyangwoni]

EASY TO LOVE | chapter nineteen !

You’ve been working all day on the outfits for the festival and honestly it’s been great at taking your mind off of Jungwon. This last week all you did was ignore him, thinking of how you should talk to him, what to say, how to say it. But all your overthinking did was just making you distance yourself from him, as if fighting wasnt enough.

You sigh, finally finishing one of the hundreds sketches you need to do before sunday. Its already getting late, but you need a few more people to come in for you to take measurements, so its gonna take a while before you can go home, not that you really mind, you like doing this after all.

You hear a knock on the door, so you tell them to come in, not really looking towards that direction since you’re busy choosing a color for the skirts. The door closes and you raise your head only when a grocery bag stops your vision. Your heart drops when you see Jungwon, you cant really read his expression, he looks both annoyed and relieved.

You take off your headphones and glasses, your ears getting red. “Sunghoon told me you haven’t eaten all day.” You gulp, not really knowing what to say, your eyes fall on the bag, then on Jungwon again. “You spoke… with Sunghoon?” “You’ve been avoiding me for a week, i did what i had to do.”

You bite your inner lip, you cant really imagine the two of them having a normal conversation, but you’re glad they’re growing. Jungwon sits in front of you, his eyes never leaving you, you’re trying to be tough, but its hard when your mind is going a thousand per miles and your heart is about to explode.

“I’ve been busy with the festival.” “Don’t bullshit me.” His cold voice makes your back shiver, and then you see it, that angry look he’s had since the fight, you run a hand through your hair, and then start tidying up the desk, you know he’s not going until you eat, so might as well get this over soon.

“I don’t like your attitude.” You say, and he laughs sarcastically, taking the ramen off of the bag, he already put the hot water in it before coming, the thought of him doing all of this for you makes you sigh. “Just eat and dont complain.” You roll your eyes and finally sit down again to eat, you only left your sketchbook on the table, just in case you get any ideas.

“You’ve been hanging a lot with Minji..” “Mh.” Jungwon didn’t think twice before digging into his ramen, meanwhile you’re still playing with your chopsticks. “Riki and Jake say that she’s been weird lately. So they dont hang much with us anymore.” “Ah.” This whole thing is awkward, the way you’re talking, the way he either looks into your soul or doesn’t look at you at all.

Still, maybe this is the right time to tell him the truth, to finally express how you feel and actually tell him what happened, but you’re still scared. Jungwon basically doesn’t hang out with his best friends only because of her, how delusional do you have to be to think he would believe you? “Jungwon… I’m scared.”

Finally his eyes meet yours again, your hand is slightly shaking, and you cant really stop it now. You bite your inner lip once again, meanwhile he completely stops eating just to hear you out. “Of what?” “Of you not believing me. Or of you choosing Minji instead of me.” “Y/n you can’t make me choose.”

That’s exactly what you were afraid of. Of course he doesnt want to choose, he’s known you only for a few months, meanwhile him and Minji have been friends since ever, he’s never going to pick you. “You’ll have to once you know what happened.” “Then tell me.” You take a deep breath, you really cant find the words to tell him, he’s looking at you patiently, but you dont know how long he can wait.

Just thinking back about it makes you feel ill and dirty, you want things with jungwon to work out, you want to be able to date him and call him your boyfriend but god is it hard to just say it. You look at him, your throat already hurting meanwhile he seems to be getting disappointed. “That video minji mentioned to you…” your mouth feels dry, meanwhile your eyes are the complete opposite.

You shake your head, you dont want to say it, you dont want him to think of you as low as you think of yourself for what happened. Jungwon hand reaches out to yours, wanting to soothe you. “Jiyoon was in Minji’s friend group last year, and we… we weren’t really friends.” You decide to start like this, its really now or never.

“And i was kind of dating this guy, Ricky.” “Kind of?” You give him a bad look, its not really the time to joke now, but you’re glad he’s making it less awkward.

“Well, turns out, Ricky was cheating on me with her, and they wanted me out of the picture.” You take another deep breath, you did have a little crush on Ricky last year, but it was nothing like what you feel for Jungwon, but thinking about what happened still hurts you like crazy. “So they.. they decided to take a video, something that could ruin the reputation of my family if it got out…i didnt know the phone was there when it was recording.”

Jungwon is listening carefully, caressing your fingers with his thumb, going through your jewelry so gently. “What was in the video?” You look at him again, you really dont want to say it, but you have to. “It was me, at Ricky’s house. And we were alone, and.. things escalated and we were-” “Y/n.”

The way he calls you makes you scared, is he mad at you? Does he think you’re disgusting? You dont even want to look at him in the eyes out of fear.

“Y/n, look at me.” Your bottom lip is trembling as he interlocks his fingers with yours. “Why didnt you tell me earlier?” “I was scared..” Your voice is breaking as you speak, Jungwon gets up and hugs you, you hide your face in the crook of his neck, you didnt expect him to act like this. But your friends were right at the end. Jungwon kisses your forehead before speaking, cupping your face.

“You’re safe with me.” You nod again, your eyes are watery, but you’re happy he doesnt hate you. You feel like you finally got a rock off of your back and you can finally breathe. You look at the table, the ramen is cold by now, but thats the last of your problems. “I cant believe she would threaten you with something like that i’m so sorry Y/n I-“ “Wonie you couldn’t know.” “Let me take you out to make up for it.” You giggle at that, and nod happily.

“yes, yes lets do that.”

prev | masterlist | next

author’s note we really are reaching the end 🥲 but dont worry i wont vanish, i already posted the masterlist for my next smau! it would be great if you can check it out hihi ily

TAGLIST @unhakki @firstclassjaylee @en-verse @mxxninthesky @onlyhyunjin @heeseungmyman @jiamini @yoonzns @wonswondrland @50-husbands @leaderwonim @aloloveswonie @f3rraribabez @jwonistic @ribbioniki @kyanmeai @ilovejungwonandhaechan @nat123c @yjwsgf @gyuvision @realrintaro @glxzillx @qettalos @rairaiblog @sakanelli-afc @onlyjungchan @haohaoshoe @vixensss @terryfiedgyu

[mustainegf]

OK I WASNT GONNA REQUEST CUS ITS MY FIRST TIME DOING SMTH LIKE THIS!!!! okay so basically black album! james and reader are out with the rest of the band at a restaurant or a store or smth and james ends up sneakily like ☝🏻ing her?? IDK IF THIS SOUNDS WEIRD OR U DONT GET IT BUT YEAH

THIS WAS SO FUN YO WRITE I LOVE SNEAKY STUFF LIKE THISSS

The restaurant buzzed with the sound of clinking glasses and the murmur of conversations. James, Lars, Kirk, Jason, and I sat at a large round table, tucked into a cozy corner.

It was a rare night off, and we were all enjoying the chance to relax and catch up. I sat next to James, feeling the warmth of his body close to mine as the guys bantered and laughed about their latest tour experiences.

I could feel James’s hand resting on my thigh, a familiar and comforting presence. We exchanged a quick smile, a shared understanding of the bond we had amidst the chaos of the rock and roll lifestyle.

As the conversation flowed, James’s hand began to move, his fingers gently spreading my legs under the table. I shot him a surprised glance, but he kept his eyes on Lars, who was recounting a particularly wild night on tour.

James’s fingers found the edge of my panties, and I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through me. He acted as if nothing was happening, his face a mask of calm as he laughed at Kirk’s joke.

Meanwhile, his fingers slipped beneath the fabric, brushing against my most sensitive spot. I bit my lip, trying to focus on the conversation around me, but it was nearly impossible with the way James was touching me.

I shifted slightly in my seat, trying to maintain my composure. Jason asked me a question about my work, and I forced myself to respond, hoping my voice didn’t betray the pleasure coursing through me.

“It’s been busy, but I’m managing,” I said, my voice surprisingly steady. “How’s the new album coming along?”

James’s fingers began to move more insistently, stroking me in slow, deliberate circles. I had to fight the urge to squirm in my seat, my breath catching in my throat.

He continued to act completely normal, discussing the album with Jason while his hand worked its magic under the table.

“I think it’s going to be our best yet,” Jason was saying. “We’ve really pushed ourselves this time.”

“That’s great to hear,” I managed, my voice sounding slightly strained. I reached for my glass of water, hoping to hide the flush creeping up my neck.

James’s fingers slipped inside me, and I had to bite down hard on my lip to stifle a moan. He knew exactly how to drive me crazy, his movements confident and unrelenting.

My heartbeat quickened, and I struggled to maintain a neutral expression as I responded to the guys’ questions and comments.

“So, how are you enjoying the tour?” Lars asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

“It’s been…amazing,” I replied, my voice barely a whisper. I glanced at James, who gave me a quick, knowing smile before turning back to the conversation.

James’s fingers continued their relentless rhythm, and I felt the pressure building inside me.

I gripped the edge of the seat, trying to focus on anything but the pleasure radiating from his touch. It was a cruel game he was playing, and he was winning.

Kirk started talking about a new riff he was working on, and I tried to listen, but my mind was clouded with desire.

James’s hand never faltered, his fingers plunging deeper, and I knew I was close to losing control.

James chuckled at something Lars said, his fingers curling inside me just right. I bit my lip harder, trying to keep my breathing even. The bandmates were none the wiser, their laughter and banter providing a cover for what was happening under the table.

The pressure built steadily, my body responding to James’s expert touch. I squeezed my thighs together, trapping his hand there, but he continued relentlessly, his thumb now brushing against my clit.

It was too much. I could feel my control slipping, the pleasure mounting with each passing second.

James glanced at me, his eyes dark with desire. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. I gave him a pleading look, but he only smirked, increasing the pace. My body tensed, the wave of pleasure crashing over me as I came, my inner walls clenching around his fingers. I managed to stay silent, only a small gasp escaping my lips.

Inlet my head fall slightly, hoping nobody would see.

Kirk’s eyes were on me again, concern evident. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look a bit flushed.��

I took a deep breath, forcing a smile. “Just a bit cold, I’m fine,” I said, trembling slightly.

James withdrew his hand, casually sucking off his fingers without anyone seeing.

He gave my thigh a reassuring squeeze before turning his full attention back to the conversation, leaving me to catch my breath and regain my composure.

The rest of the dinner passed in a blur. I could hardly focus on the conversation, my body still tingling from the intensity of what had just happened. James acted as if nothing unusual had occurred, his demeanor cool and collected.

As we said our goodbyes and headed out of the restaurant, James leaned in close, his breath warm against my ear. “You did great,” he whispered, his voice low and husky. “Let’s get home. I’m not done with you yet.”

[mewintheflesh-2]

Without You

Rating: Teen and Up audiences

Archive warnings: None

Characters: Francis Mosses, Original Characters

Tags: Unrequited Love, heartbreak, Song: Without You (Strawberry Guy), Crushes, Unrequited Crushes, Francis Mosses has sensory issues (briefly mentioned), minor blood and injury, Francis deals with the qualms of being a retail worker (kinda), men crying, emotional hurt, hurt/no comfort, not beta read, Reader is gender neutral.

Word count: 1,800 (rounded down)

Summary: Francis wasnt having a good time.

And you're not about to make it any better

Also posted on Ao3

Francis sighed solomly as he gripped the now empty milk carrier. Hard enough to leave imprints on his hand and whiten his knuckles.

His black leather shoes clicked and clacked against the cold, concrete sidewalk. The sunset painting everything around him in a golden light. It'd be nighttime soon.

He lifted his free hand to his head and clutched his sweaty hair from underneath his hat. He was so tired. He just wanted to get home and sleep.

But he mostly just wanted to talk to you.

Even if you only really talked through that thick, protective window, youd been making more and more conversation with eachother each time you spoke, getting to know eachother more and more each day.

It wasnt long before Francis' lovesick brain fell head over heels.

It was everything about you. The way you looked, with a smile rivaling the warmth of the sun, and just as dangerous to his heart and mind. You always seemed to know exactly what to say to him to pull at his heart like a puppet on a string.

If he didnt know any better, hed say you were doing it on purpose.

He wouldnt mind either way.

Francis slugged up to the reception window, a weight lifted off of him at the sight of you at your desk.

He pushed his ID and Entry Request inside the letterbox for you to receive, planting his hands on the metal shelf jutting out of the wall just below the window; watching you expectantly with a simultaneous aching and soothing feeling in his heart.

After a minute of shuffling papers and opening folders, you look up at him.

"Hello, Francie." You smiled warmly at him.

There it was.

That nickname.

God how it made his heart swell. 

'Francie.'

Such a cute nickname

and it was just for him, gifted from you.

"How's your day been?" You tilted your head slightly at him, setting down and organizing his identification and sliding his profile back into the appropriate folder.

Francis looked at you for a second before frowning. "Not great." He sighed as he shook his head softly, looking down at his shoes.

Your eyebrows knit together in concern, a frown adorning your lips.

"I'm sorry, Francie. What happened, if you dont mind me asking?" Your voice was so warm and soft as you leaned in closer to the window.

It made Francis' heart flutter for a second before he had to think back to all that had happened earlier.

"It's just a lot of little things building up. I'm probably more upset about it than I should be." Francis looked down at his hands, and then up to you.

The expression on his face was just killing your heart. 

"Im all ears." You speak softly as you push your chair in closer to your desk, and by extension, the window.

"If theres anything you need to say, then say it. Its always nice to get things off your chest, dont you think?" You smile softly at him, pushing your chair closer to your desk, and closer to the window by extension.

"Are you sure?" Francis looked around, almost worried. Surely he'd be taking up your time on your job if he did that, right?

"I have all the time in the world-- and I'd rather be talking to you than anything else right now." You assured, that deadly warm smile on your lips again.

The words made Francis feel warm and soft.

A small smile appeared on his face for a brief, fleeting moment. 

 Francis stared at you for a moment, as if asking for approval to speak.

You nod.

He sighed, looking down at the metal shelf infront of him as his ungloves hands tapped at it, wondering where to begin.

"Its just- work has been just awful today.  Someone had left their dog outside, as soon as it saw me it wouldn't stop chasing me, i tried to run away, but it eventually caught up to me and bit my leg.

It wouldnt let go until I had to pry it off of me. And even then it didn't leave me alone for awhile. Not until it's owners came back to take it off of me." 

You frowned, trying to open your mouth to speak, but Francis kept talking.

"And because of that dog, i dropped and broke multiple milk bottles on the sidewalk. So after the dog got taken off of me, i tried picking up the glass since I didn't want anybody accidentally stepping on it because of me, but the shards cut me. Badly. Even through my gloves."

He held his hand up to the window for you to see. There were bloodied bandages wrapped around his hand, and several smaller cuts on his bare fingers. 

You cringe at the sight.

"I had to take them off to clean the wounds, and everything has just been sensory hell ever since." Francis' face draws to a grimace.

"And to make things worse, I had to deal with people yelling at me for being incompetent for losing their deliveries."

He clenched his jaw, his expression doesn't look anything but sad.

"Even though it wasn't even my fault. I'm not the one who left their dog outside. And just to top it off, I've had a horrible migrane all day, and It's just-" He inhales and groans,  collapsing onto the metal shelf infront of him.

"I just want to take a break. I just want to rest."

He mumbles as he tucks his face into his folded arms.

Silence, for a moment.

"Francie........... That's awful-- I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?" You frown sympathetically as you push you chair forward even more, squishing yourself against your desk and placing a hand on the window infront of you.

Francis lifted his head to look up at your hand, and then at you.

"I think talking to you and going to sleep is  enough for me to feel better." Francis smiled briefly before registering what he'd said, casting his gaze anywhere but you after he realized what he'd spoken.

You laugh softly. "If you say so."

Silence for a bit, as Francis regains his composure.

He lifts himself up, slowly propping himself on his elbows on the shelf, leaning his head on his knuckles, huffing out a breath of air.

"...How was your day?" He asks after a beat, head tilted curiously.

You smile, retracting your hand from the window. "My days been pretty slow, but im meeting someone later, so im pretty excited for that."

Meeting someone?

...

Francis blinked for a second. His expression faltering to a look of sadness for just a moment.

No. Surely you didnt mean it like that.

"Meeting someone...?" He echoed.

"Mhm." You smiled softly at the thought. "We met just a few days ago. He seems pretty nice, I'm excited to get to know him more." You lean your head on your hand, mirroring the man behind the glass.

"A-ah.......... Congratulations." Francis did his best to refrain from letting any indication of his emotions fall upon his face as he straightened himself out; but he couldn't help but frown. 

"Francie? Are you alright?" You tilted your head the slightest bit, voice a catalyst of concern for the man standing on the other side of the thick, protective glass. 

"Mhm. I just remembered something. Apologies." He held the brim of his cap between his pointer and thumb, pulling it down over his eyes the slightest bit to avoid looking at you. But he really couldn't help himself.

"Oh, alright. Is there, uh, anything I can help you with?" Your voice was calm and careful in a way that just broke poor Francies heart even more. "About what you remembered- I mean." 

"No, no. It's fine. Thanks for the offer." He shook his head softly, forcing a small smile as he looked down at the shelf infront of him.

"Of course, Francie." Your eyebrows knit together in concern. "Just let me know if there's anything I can do for you. You can tell me anything." 

"Mhm. Thank you." Francis took a quick glance at the door, before looking back in your direction-- though nowhere near directly at you. You put together he was probably signaling to you that he wanted to leave now.

"I'll see you tommorow?" Your voice was soft, sweet, a delicacy and a curse to Francis' ears.

There was a light buzzing noise as you pressed the button to unlock the main entrance. 

"Mhm. Goodbye." He waved at you softly, only actually looking into your eyes for a brief, fleeting moment before walking away. 

"Goodbye........." You spoke quietly, a soft pit in your stomach as you watched Francis dissappear through the doors.

You were so caught off guard by his sudden change in behavior you nearly forgot to lock the door again.

He usually liked to stay for as long as he could.

Was it something you said?

You frowned, leaning back in your chair and fidgeting with some papers.

You'd have to ask him about it tomorrow.

Again began the waiting for your neighbors to return to their apartments.

Francis opened his apartment door with shaking hands, keys jingling as they were set on his kitchen counter.

With a heavy sigh, he flicked on his lamp, enveloping the room in a warm yellow glow, trying to keep his composure.

Slowly but surely he kicked off his shoes, grabbing and throwing his hat onto his dresser.

Just as he was about to unbutton his uniform he was hit with a sudden disgusting, sickening feeling in his chest as tears welled up in his eyes.

He shook his head, eyes squinting involuntary as he let himself fall onto his bed.

He lied there, staring at the ceiling, trying to ignore anything he was feeling.

But no matter how many times he tried, something still peeked through.

He inhaled sharply through his nose as he flipped himself over onto his stomach, nestling his face into his soft pillows.

The feeling in his chest was too intense to bear, he could feel his breath become sporadic, unsure if it was because his face was buried in his pillows or otherwise.

He inhaled sharply once more, this time followed followed by a small Hic as his throat began to close up.

No, no, he wasn't going to cry. It's not that big of a deal. He's fine. He should be happy for you if anything.

But. With everything that happened up until that point. He really couldn't help himself from letting his emotions get the best of him.

Hot tears soaked into his pillow as his hands clutched at his hair violently, hissing in pain as his wounds flexed open.

He grits his teeth, another hic escaping his lips as he opened his eyes into the pillow.

Nothing but a warm, yellowish void.

 He pushed himself up and flipped onto his side, curling into himself, yanking a blanket over his shoulders before clutching his head, throbbing in a burning pain once again as he cried quietly.

He didn't even turn off the lamp before he'd passed out.

Silent, steady breathing, wet cheeks illuminated by the soft yellow light of his lamp. 

Tired eyes, finally getting their well deserved rest. 

An aching heart, beating slowly, deep inside his chest.

[vigilskeep]

do you have any refs for Minerva’s relationship with the other dao companions? I did not realize she and leliana was estranged 😭 also if im remembering correctly she makes loghain do the dark ritual? sorry I do like spinning her around in my head and knowing the little details she’s such a great character!!

leliana and minerva did not have a clear breakup in the alistair minerva sense but they did grow apart because of the simple reason that post dao minerva becomes politically at odds with the chantry while leliana is serving its leader. leliana is not a type of person minerva finds very easy to like or trust so while they did grow on each other over the course of dao they never had a simple friendship in the first place

alistair you probably know about bc its kind of the cornerstone of minervaposting but theres a post fully explaining it not much further down in her tag

zevran is her romance <3 i hesitate to use the word “soulmates” exactly but they definitely fit together in a way no other minerva pairing could match

morrigan she has a weird close complicated vaguely homosexual friendship with, i’m sure this is par for the course for f!wardens. they probably could have been in love if morrigan had been willing to pursue it in the start and if minerva hadn’t already gone for someone else by the end, and all that is unspoken but very present in everything about them

sten is i guess kind of the typical high approval relationship as presented in game? not much more unique. a lot of respect a lot of arguing a lot of dry humour. they could hang out in silence comfortably and they’re also both know and respect that they’re very capable of killing the other if their greater purposes ever demand it

oghren she kind of doesn’t pay much mind in origins when she doesn’t have to but he becomes part of the family in awakening. they bond over having their insane shared experiences of the blight, and also over him trying to quit drinking and her trying to quit blood magic which leads to some really wild out of context conversations for the others. and hey, eventually over first attempting to parent at similar times

wynne she has a bit of a sharp relationship with. i think this could vary a lot if i pick her up earlier, but in my main minerva playthrough i picked her up late by which time minerva had absolutely no fucking interest in getting the kind of lectures she grew up with. sorry grandma </3

uhhhh who else. shale idk man im sorry for being a fake fan but shale’s dlc truly does nothing for me it’s unfunny and i dont think abt it at all 💔 this would be written in less harsh terms if i wasnt sleepy

loghain is. well that’s a kettle of fish. minerva spares him because it happens to be a preferable move for her agenda and her way of thinking, it’s not rlly about him as a person at all. she doesn’t absolve him of anything he did, like, she still thinks he’s a bastard it’s just that she doesn’t really believe at all in the concept of justice being done if it doesn’t serve a purpose. when he’s in the party they do build up respect and a weird kind of friendship. he sucks and she’s bitter about what sparing him cost her, but that isn’t relevant, it’s not going to stop her learning from him, or fighting at his side as the best team she can quickly make them, or simply finding him entertaining to talk to. so by the end it’s as a friend that she asks him to do the dark ritual, whatever that means. post dao she agrees with weisshaupt that him being assigned outside of ferelden is wise but they continue to write to each other extremely regularly, mostly on matters of news and strategy but occasionally on the more personal

is that everyone i think thats everyone

[akira-the-graphophile]

CAN WE ALSO PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE?!?!?!

IT WAS NOT A KISS SCENE BUT IT WAS AS POWERFUL AS ONE!!!

Their THE KISS scene on season 3 episode 5 (yes i remember exactly dont ask why) it was REALLY powerful because it literally showed us the development between the two characters from them trying to kill one another (mostly Rayla) to saving each other and Callum expressing it such a beautiful way by his speech with "Because she's Rayla" Playing in the background was just TO DIE FOR!!!! it was emotional, romantic, strong! It was everything! It wasnt forced it was just there in the perfect time. I can never stop praising the shows writers enough istg. Even rn im listening to that ost in the background.

I cant lie bc it was adorable seeing these two being all lovey dovey with each other by kissing and hugging etc. But when season 4 begins, their relationship is just not there anymore. Yes there are bits and pieces but they're scattered everywhere. Callum reminiscing about her and their time together gives us half of the answer. Something happened that pulled them apart but what is it?

When he was looking out in the balcony to the sky, their theme was also playing at the background but so soft and so weak that you felt Callums' pain. It was a sad track, it was a tragic track. Raylas' memories were still there but not herself. And it made him so sad that the dude said it was NOT his BIRTHDAY but the ANNIVERSARY OF RAYLAS' LEAVING!!!! THIS BOY CARES ABOUT RAYLA MORE THAN HE CARES ABOUT HIMSELF!!!

From then on the relationship starts to have a second build up. Its like strangers to friends to lovers to strangers to ??? . The only difference of this build up compared to first three seasons is that there is already an established relationship, its just broken. So in a way they start again. Going on adventures, being there for each other in case either of them needs help. Callum doesnt let his feelings for her suppress his hurt which was also caused by her but little by little it starts to heal. It starts to fix.

Here we see Rayla admit to her mistake of going after revenge and leaving the most important thing she has behind (aka Callum obv) . Her admitting this out loud is so great to hear. Because she know she made a mistake and that mistake hurt Callum and she intends to FIX that mistake. She gives him the space he needs while also staying close enough in case he would need her. Just like Soren said "sometimes you need time to work through the weird, and then it'll work out or dont. The heart do what it do or dont what it dont"

And thats exactly what happens! With time the awkwardness becomes less and less and their hearts do the job. Their feelings for each other were never gone in the first place, and when they both finally realise that it just keeps getting better. In the form of saving friends (Zym and Soren) they remember how it felt working together which helps them get closer.

But even tho they act close their words are still apart. They dont admit it. They dont talk about it. They just go along with it. But then Rayla gets caught sneaking Runaans' bow. When Callum orders them to release her even without knowing the reason why, Rayla picks up what he's putting down. He trusts her, he doesnt push her to explain him anything because he knows that she will when she is ready. She sees that there is still a chance to make things just like before maybe even better.

(Also in this scene when they're going to the grand bookery and they cross this path, she says "its an old wound that's healing" I cant help but feel like its a parallel to their relationship. The wound of leaving for two years but now finally working through it. Its just perfect)

So yep after everything she admits it, which is also perfect because she was the one that made a mistake so she does fix it and she does it right.

"Im glad we could be here together, looking at the stars..." She says.

And Callum feeling the same way rests his head on hers. ITS JUST PERFECT AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! THE WAY THAT THEY STILL KEEP TALKING ABOUT STARS AND THIS WHOLE SCENE HAVING AS MUCH POWER AS THEIR KISS SCENE AND DARE I SAY EVEN MORE (i dont know which wins bc i was jumping around screaming when they kissed after Callums' poetic speech LOL it was ROMANTIC ALRIGHT?! 😭😭😭😭 SAME GOES FOR THIS ONE)

And the thing is that it'ss so easy to mess up. They could've gone for a route like "hey im back after two years of absence" "Oh hi its great to see you again" And its not just the characters and their relationships but also the world that you're telling to the audience. It is so easy to get it wrong ESPECIALLY if you are writing Fantasy. With so many kingdoms, dragons, elves and other species with also magic its very very simple to mess up. Im glad that they went this way with the story telling. Its more natural, more enjoyable and it just works perfectly.

ANYWAY IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR WAY TOO LONG BUT IF YOU MANAGED TO FINISH READING IT TILL THE END OMG YOU'RE A FUCKING ROCKSTAR IDK I LOVE YOU THANK YOU!!! 😫😫😫💕💕💕💕

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

[bridgyrose]

Weiss pulled the hood of her cloak up as she walked through the busy streets of Vale, her senses bombarded by the sounds and smells of the faire. The smells of fried meats and bread filled the air, almost making up for the music and sounds that were just too loud for her. Though, it wasnt like she hadnt realized what would happen when she made her way into the kingdom. Afterall, she’d spent years listening to the festivities outside the walls of the kingdoms, only ever catching glimpses of the food and costumes as she lurked in the shadows. 

And now, here she was, finally among the people she had watched. For the first time in years, she felt free. Able to be herself without worrying about becoming a monster or causing problems. At least… until she bumped into someone and heard the all too familiar sound of steel clattering against the ground. Weiss’s body froze as she slowly turned around. “I-I’m sorry-” 

“Its fine,” a woman said with a smile. “I should’ve been watching where I was going.” 

All Weiss could do was watch as the woman picked up her folded weapon. Silver eyes stared back at her through red streaked black hair. A blush crossed her lips and she offered a hand to the woman. “I-I think it was my fault this time. I’m… I’m Weiss.” 

“Ruby,” Ruby answered as she took Weiss’s hand. “Did you travel far to come for the festival?” 

“S-sort of,” Weiss answered back, unable to pull her eyes away from Ruby. She wasnt sure if it was the silver eyes that captivated her, the red cloak that practically draped down her shoulders, or if it was the kindness that she received, but she knew this girl was going to be important to her. “I’m from a small village. Though, I should be leaving soon.” 

“You should stay for the festival. If you’re from that far away, who knows when you’ll be able to come back.” 

“I guess I could stay-” 

“Great! I know exactly what you should see!” 

Weiss felt herself get pulled down the street by Ruby, unable to escape her grip as pulled deeper into the festivities. Stalls lined both sides of the streets with different masks, costumes, foods, and trinkets available for purchase along with a few children’s games for people to play. But none of that mattered as she watched Ruby keep a smile on her face as she started to slow down her pace, talking about each stall that she enjoyed. Not that Weiss caught a word of it, still a bit too overwhelmed by the noises around her to really focus on Ruby’s words. 

“-and you get some fried fish from over here.” Ruby paused for a moment and slowed down. “Are you okay?” 

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Weiss said quietly as she moved a bit closer to Ruby, eyes still glued to the stalls along the street. Her senses were becoming overwhelmed from the smells of the food and the sounds of the music and people chatting around. “C-can we get somewhere quieter?” 

“Sure, but that would take us out of the festival-” 

“That’s fine. I-I uh… didnt realize how loud it was going to be here.” 

“Yeah, sure, we… we can leave for a bit.” 

Weiss relaxed a bit as she followed Ruby out of the festival. Though, as she watched the smile on Ruby’s face fade away, her heart started to ache. She stopped briefly and tugged a bit on Ruby’s arm. “You really like this festival, dont you?” 

Ruby nodded and slowed to another stop. “I do. Its a festival that celebrates the founding of Vale, our harvests… its everything about who we are.” 

“I… I guess we can stay close then, I…” Weiss sighed and held her arm to her chest. “Its a bit loud for me.” 

“Maybe we can find something to help with the noise. I’m sure one of the stalls will have earmuffs available.”  

“You think so?” 

“Its close enough to fall that I’m sure someone will have it. But, we’ll need to get a bit deeper into the festivities. Do you trust me?” 

Weiss paused for a moment as she watched Ruby, still not sure how much she trusted her. And yet, she couldnt find any reason not to. Ruby knew Vale, was familiar with everything the city offered, and her smile was inviting. So, she gave a nod. “I trust you.” 

“Great! And then we can also get you a couple of protection charms as well.” 

“Protection charms?” Weiss asked as she felt herself being pulled again. This time, she didnt get an answer as Ruby dragged her through the stalls until they found one that sold small earmuffs for the cooling weather. She slowly put them on and relaxed as the sounds of the festival started to feel more bearable for her. 

Once Ruby had paid for the earmuffs, she felt herself pulled through the festival once more. The smells of food started to become less overwhelming as they made their way deeper, Weiss’s eyes on all the costumes and dancers that they passed. The way the beads and sequins reflected the light made her stop, almost as if each article of clothing was made to tell a story with the way each of the dancers moved. For a moment, she felt like a kid again before she was bitten. Wonder filled her eyes as she watched the reflection of lights and colors, entranced by everything that she hadnt noticed when Ruby had left, only when she had come back with some fried meat buns. 

Ruby offered one to her with a smile. “Try one.” 

Weiss nodded and gently took one, taking a small bite. She slowly chewed on it as she savored the taste and the way the bread and meat almost seemed to melt in her mouth. “These are soo good! Are they common during this festival?” 

“They are,” Ruby answered as she took a bite of her own. “Its tradition to share them with people you consider friends. And after the day we’ve spent together, I hope I could consider you one of mine.” 

“You can,” Weiss said with her mouth full. She quickly swallowed and started to relax a bit as she looked up to the night sky. The moon was still days away from being full, the sky was clear and the stars had started to shine down on the city. For the first time in many years, Weiss had finally felt at peace. 

Ruby smiled and offered a small charm to Weiss. “Another tradition is to give a charm to someone to protect them from the spirits. No one believes in that anymore, but its still a nice thought.” 

“A-are you sure you’re okay with giving me one? I’m still a stranger and-” 

“And someone I would like to consider a friend. Even if we didnt meet in the most conventional of ways.” 

Weiss gave Ruby a smile and reached to grab the charm out of her hand, flinching and pulling her hand back as the small charm burned her. She took a step back, bumping into a stand behind her and knocking over a few of the charms that were being sold. A couple charms fell against the back of her hand, burning her as she let out a yelp. 

“Is everything okay?” Ruby asked. 

“I-I’m fine.” Weiss quickly looked herself over once she realized a few people were staring at her from the scene she had just caused. Once she was certain she still looked human, she flashed Ruby another quick smile. “But I think its about time for me to start going home.” 

“Are you sure you cant stay? The festival isnt over yet-” 

“I’m sure.” Weiss leaned and quickly kissed Ruby’s cheek, only to feel her cheek burn from the touch of the silver earrings Ruby wore. She pulled back once more and pulled her hand to her cheek, heart racing as her fingers started to shake. Quiet whispers were caught as she looked around at everyone around her, noticing more people had started to come around her and Ruby. 

“Did she just get burned?” someone asked. 

“I didnt see any fire near her,” another answered. 

“Maybe she’s a monster.” 

Weiss took a few steps back, then turned and started to run off. “I need to go!” 

“Wait!” Ruby called out. “Dont leave yet!” 

Weiss didnt hear Ruby, running down the street, out of the festival and towards the city gate. She had to get out before anything else got worse or before she got burned again. Once she was outside the city, she made her way to the forest, shifting once she was sure she was out of sight from anyone that would see her. She laid down under a few trees, glad the darkness hid her white fur. 

A branch cracked and she slowly stood up as she faced the direction of the noise. She kept low as she heard the snap of another branch, looking up in the trees. She found herself face to face with a silver blade, and then the familiar face of Ruby above her. 

Ruby slowly pulled the blade away as she stared at the wolf in front of her. “W-Weiss?” 

Weiss nodded and slowly shifted, eyes still on Ruby. There she stood, clothes torn under her cloak, white wolf ears and tail only visible from the outline they left under her cloak. “I-I can… explain.” 

“I… I’m going to get some food,” Ruby said as she quietly put her scythe away. “And then you can explain what exactly you are.”

[theosconfessions]

if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here:)

if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here :)

@ohsosims

theo- well at least you have a job, i guess.

blake- mr kline? can i help you find something or ?

theo-mmm actually no. just here to talk.

blake- talk?

theo- yeah talk. you have a minute or ?

blake- not really?? im sorry did i do something wrong or?

theo- not yet. at least i dont think. riv told me about you two.

blake- oh. oh.

theo- and with that being said im well aware of your..hobbies

blake- sir? i mean i play football?

theo- thats not what i mean and you know that. you KNOW exactly what im talking about here.

blake- i mean i guess.

theo- you have any kids, blake?

blake- im? im sorry where is this going?

theo- do you have any kids, blake. that you know about?

blake- [blinks] um is this a question river wanted to know more about or are you just being nosey?

theo- watch your mouth

blake-right sorry. i have a daughter. but river knew that. long before we ever did anything. i wasnt hiding anything from him.

theo- and you still involved with the mother at all?

blake- she lives across the country,no. it was young,dumb, love . not that i regret my daughter but its not idea. the situation. not great. work here for child support payments. see my daughter in the summer.

theo- and how does that happen? mother flies out here with her or?

blake- no my parents go above and beyond . go get her.

theo- you dont?

blake- better that way. we dont mix well anymore.

theo- whys that?

blake- because i slept with her friend.

theo- i see. ive done that

blake- im aware. seen your seasons.

theo- right.

blake- mr kline is there a reason why youre asking me all of this?

theo- you have any more kids rivers not aware of ? any chance you think you could not be aware of them yourself?

blake- um no? im pretty careful.

theo- you use protection with them?

blake- some of them.

theo- you use protection with river?

blake- no

theo- then youre not pretty careful. youre careless. i cheated on myhusband fifteen years ago and ended up bringing back something that coudlve fucked his life up. luckily it only got me.

blake- oh.

theo- blake, listen. river lieks you. i think he takes after his dad too much but hey. i can only control him so much,right? warn him so much. hes going to fuck up regardless.

blake- and you think im the fuck up?

theo- i think you have a potential to be a big mistake he makes yeah.

blake- wow. i like river,sir. a lot. always have

theo- i get that. thats just words, kid. i mean this shit ..its like looking at my younger self just a little bit more of a pussy.

blake- whoa.

theo- just saying if you have any intention on being serious with my son you better show him actions, kid. because i swear to GOD if he comes home and he tells me his boyfriend got some bitch pregnant..

blake- yessir. i wont. i really do like him

theo- k good. love this song.

blake- um?

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

Hi hello I watched all of carmilla in a weekend when I was 17 because a student teacher who in retrospect I had a bit of a crush on mentioned that she knew one of the actresses. also I am pretty invested in all your recent vampire stuff because I watched iwtv in 2 days last week because your edit intrigued me

oh hiiii 🫶 thank you for indulging me. thats so cool that you watched iwtv! did it live up to the expectation?

i also watched carmilla at 17! or like, 17-19. i found it when s2 had just started and followed it to the end. did something permanent to my brain but i think it was a good thing. on rewatch now im like, i was right to like this. like it's a solid show, it's good. it has its flaws obviously but it's well written, the emotional moments still get me, i can see why i liked it and i still like it now even when it's not anymore, you know, meeting every need that baby gay me didnt even know they had

what it doesnt reaallyy do though - i dont remember if i posted abt this or if i left it in my drafts but - is explore vampirism as a concept. their subject matter is more lesbianism than vampirism. which is great! thats what they wanted to do and they did it and it's very good. but reading interview with the vampire the book rn im realising how much potential vampires have to be metaphors for like so many things and i started wondering like 'wait, did carmilla just not really engage with it or did it all go over my head'. but it just didnt really engage with it all that much. which again is fine bc that wasnt what they were doing. im glad they were more about the lesbianism than the vampirism

but there's this interesting difference in framing, because in iwtv they keep calling armand 'ancient' right? and emphasising how old he is. and he's like 500? and i was like 'wait isnt carmilla like 400?'. she isnt, shes 340, but still, thats getting there, you know? and we know quite a lot about her history, but kind of just the Big Events. when she was turned, the events of the novella, coffin of blood, silas. thats sort of what we know. but none of the long lonely slog of history day to day you know? with armand i feel like we can really feel how much time everything takes. how every one of those years is made up of single days. with carmilla i dont feel that as much. i keep kind of thinking about daniel, when louis calls him a boy in the first episode, saying "im an old man, with all the triggers that come with it"

because carmilla might look 18 (or mid twenties at this point) but she has lived all that time. shes also seen her native land be claimed by like a succession of ruling powers, right? like armand. shes been buried alive, like louis. when lestat is born, shes already 80 years old, shes lived a whole human lifetime, and the entire adult part of it shes been a vampire. shes lived through 1680-1870 being a lure. i compared her to abigail hobbs in some tags on a post, i dont know if youre familiar with hannibal the tv show, but i do also kinda keep thinking about that comparison

if youre not familiar, in the first episode of hannibal the murderer of the week is this guy garrett jacob hobbs who kills and cannibalises girls who resemble his daughter. and later on it turns out she was made to be his lure. like they'd go places and he'd sent her to the victims to make friends and maybe get them back to their home or smth. not sure if they specified all the details. but that's what carmilla did for mother. and in s2 we hear from mattie that while every couple of decades carmilla had to lure victims for the fish god, she also seemed to just enjoy humans between those times, right? like the doctor, gets lonely, gets a new companion. but we've only sort of got mattie's mocking word for it ("dont eat him, hes a poet! or her, shes got such a wonderful voice. or that one, shes just too pretty to ruin"), we don't know exactly from carmilla's point of view what she was doing or why. if mattie's talking about stuff that happened after the blood coffin, 1950-now, then i think it's a fair assumption based on what carmilla says in the s1 sock puppet show that after she'd figured out what the real situation was and what her role in it was, when she'd started trying to save girls from being sacrificed, that she mightve been doing the same trying to save people from becoming mattie's victims. it's probably more likely that she was just trying to find excuses to stop mattie from sucking someone dry rather than actually having like an aesthetic based morality. but it might be a bit of both. im still trying to figure out what her philosophy actually is, like i dont know what existentialism actually means ghkfjghkj but i will

i also found it pretty striking in the movie when shes turning back into a vampire she says like "this was supposed to be done, you know? the blood lust, the self-loathing, the sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom". thats what defines her vampirism, wanting blood and hating yourself for it (the third part is a joke/reference to s1 but also i think meaningful for how she sees her relationship with laura when she IS a vampire. little bit of that 'she will reject me for my monstrousness' shining through). and thats what defines vampirism for lots of vampires across the genre obviously, but i dont know, it struck me. we dont get a lot from carmilla's pov, we know a fair amount about her, but the story is always told through laura. we get laura's diaries, but just snippets here and there from carmilla, what shes thinking, how shes feeling

and i love that shes a philosopher. i love that thats how she seems to try and find something to hold onto, in a world that kind of moves around her, having been murdered, kidnapped, turned and groomed to be a lure on the cusp of adulthood, never having been properly loved (the relationship with her father wasnt good she says in s3, and her mortal mother i dont think has ever been mentioned (like laura's)). the only good relationship she seems to have had for the better part of 3 centuries seems to have been mattie, and mattie seems to love being a vampire. i can imagine carmilla just sort of going along with anything mattie wants to do just because shes so desperate for that friendship. not like, against her will necessarily really. but more like, she hasnt even had the space to develop her own will, you know? and philosophy lets you do that. philosophy gives you frameworks to understand the world and to develop your own opinions on it. and by the 21st century she seems to have developed those opinions, she has a sense of her own values, but shes also still stuck in that same situation. shes jaded and cynical in the face of laura's optimism and strong moral code a lot of the time in s1 because she feels probably pretty powerless. like she does what she can to save some girls but at the end of the day shes scared of her mother and she has nowhere else to go really, right?

i like how she grapples with that over the course of the series, in tandem with laura grappling with her black and white morality. she sort of jumps ship from her mother to laura bc theyve fallen in love, but then laura still stuck in her hero thinking refuses to see her monstrous side. not literally bc i think the biological vampirism never seemed to be a problem for laura, but morally. the having murdered. carmilla needs laura to see that and love her while seeing it bc the last girl she loved rejected her for being a vampire.

but you see her kind of swing back and forth in s2. she softens first with laura but then they break up and she leans back hard into the sarcastic cynic defense mechanisms, leans hard into "im a monster, dont expect heroism from me". but thats like, it's sort of learned helplessness i think. it's powerlessness, resignation. bc morally shes not a monster. maybe she doesnt have as strong a drive to help other people as laura does and is a little more selfishly hedonistic in that she just wants to enjoy her/their life, but she doesnt hurt people for fun, she never has. she just sort of didnt have another option for a Really long time. so she pretends she doesnt care. "im a vampire, this is what i do, this is who i am". but clearly from the way she talks about it when she turns back into one, she doesnt enjoy it

and i like how she goes even further in s3, where she starts swinging even more to the heroic side, bc she sees hope. shes like "wow if we kill my mother, i'd be free". theres hope and she becomes like a lot more active. and shes like that at the start of the movie too, a lot happier, a lot more relaxed, and then vampirism is back and bam depression gfhgkjh like shes immediately more gloomy, ashamed of her past and her self, retreats into herself

sorry i just took this as an opportunity to dump all the carmilla thoughts floating in my head on you. you didnt ask fhkghgjh consider this an open invitation to you or anyone else to come talk to me about carmilla

[gettinshiggywithit]

!Sun and Moon!

Scenario:- comforting tamaki when he’s feeling down

Pairing:- tamaki x gn!Reader

Genre:- comfort(reverse comfort)

Type:- oneshot

A/N:-apologies in advance for all the crappy spelling mistakes

You walked into the room and immediately knew something was off

It was too quiet

Now,quiet was something u were used to

Being used to quiet was something you’d learned by bein Tamaki amajiki,prohero-in-training SunEater’s, s/o

But there were different types of silence,if that makes sense?

There was an awkward silence, a tense silence, and as like now, an uncomfortable silence

In other words,THE VIBE WASNT IT

and usually when you got home,you were greeted with the sound of sock-clad feet slowly shuffling across the floor to meet you.

But not now

So you headed into your shared bedroom

And saw exactly what you’d been expecting

Your boyfriend rolled up on the bed,in the foetal position muttering to himself while shedding silent tears

This had happened before,but you’d always been there when it started (at least youd always been there for the times it’d happened while u were dating) and as a result you knew what had caused it

But not this time

Now you weren’t sure what had triggered this response In your boyfriend, and you didnt have much time before it escalated into something you’d need to call mirio to help solve

So you slowly sat down on the bed,which in turn startled his shaking self

The sight of your face and just YOU seemed to calm him down just a bit(and that in itself made ur heart do backflips.)

He looked upto you with pleading eyes and you knew he wanted physical contact

Tamaki wasnt big on touchy feely ways of expressing affection

But when it came to you and mirio,he really didnt mind it

In fact,your touches is what grounded him when he was losing himself(mirio before you came into his life and you after)

You stretched out your arms and enveloped him in a nice warm hug.and while your hands both masaged his scalp and traced soothin patterns on his back,he continued to cry.

Once he seemed to have calmed down a little and his breathing seemed to even out a bit, you asked him the question you urgently needed the answer to

“Hey tama,what happened?”

you waited a beat,not sure If he was ready to talk about it or if you’d made him uncomfortable all of a sudden

But just as your own insecurities and intrusive thoughts began to cloud your mind,he answered.

“I dont know...” and he said it so softly that you wouldnt have been able to pick up on it if you weren’t used to it.

“Its just that my heads all loud and then i think of everything everyone’s ever said and all their disappointed and disapproving faces i just....i can never get out of th-the cycle....” he continued

And as you listened your head raced trying to find a way to help him.

Once you had what you wanted to say ready, you told him.

“Tamaki,i know its hard to ignore all the bad stuff and i know it sucks ass to feel like you’re alone and no one’s proud of you ,But there are people who care about you.there ARE people who are proud of you.like me,mirio,nejire,fatgum and kirishima and no matter what happens we’ll always love you and cherish you for who you are,”

At this you looked him in the eye,his Tired and hopeless ones meeting your eager and sincere ones as you took his face in your hands,giving him a kiss on the forehead, followed by one right to his lips.

He blushed a deep red

And kissed you back the second time around.

This was one thing Tamaki loved about you,you knew just what to say and when to say it and he was greatful to have another person who shone as brightly as the sun in his life.

Afterwards you both lay down and cuddled till you fell asleep.and the next morning,he didn’t feel perfect (these things took time) but he did feel wayyy better and that was enough.your presence having the ability to brighten his dark days and gloomy moments was what kept him going and thats how youd grown as close as you were,by bein there for eachother.you for him and him for you,and even though he wasnt perfect at the art of comforting,he was getting better And that genuinely did put a smile on your face.

And in the same way that opposites were attracted to eachother ,so was your light to his dark,your bright to his dull.your up to his down;

Your sun to his moon

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

Taglist open for anyone interested!

[the-kipsabian]

He doesn't really need a tag partner (I'm sure there are people he trusts enough to team with) but if Chuck is out forever can we have Kip step in and be a person for OC to lean on? I mean we could get him on TV possibly weekly (win win in my book) plus maybe we can get OC corrupted and boom it helps push the storyline with Trent? IF Chuck is able to come back, maybe he uncorrupts him? Thoughts?

SO. im sorry ahead of time that this will get longwinded and probably not gonna make a lot of sense but i have A LOT of thoughts regarding this whole situation

so this has been a very common thing to discuss in my dms ever since the shades of the best friends betrayal started when trent and oc entered into the tag team tournament (also shoutout to bugs for dealing with my shit constantly cause i know i can be unhinged ough), and what we dubbed as savior!kip has become a very intense hope in this storyline so... yeah ive been thinking about this possibility a lot ngl

im gonna put the rest of this under the cut cause lmao yeah. im gonna go off the rails

i wanna start this by saying that while i do want chuck to come back, im specifically hoping that he'll come back to team with trent again and to torment oc, that all of this has been one big ruse to see if oc really is their best friend or not (spoilers: hes not. trent is right about everything he said dont @ me). and oc is slowly starting to lack friends; seeing how things are going, things with kris arent that great. shibata and hook have their hands full with so many other things. rocky is obviously siding with trent, even if he doesnt say it directly out loud but roppongi vice forever basically, and the rest of chaos is mostly in japan (and okada is evil now so...). danhausen basically doesnt exist anymore. everyone oc has had around him has slowly disappeared, for one reason or another

so where does that leave us, exactly? you turn to the other side (or more in this case, the other side turns towards you to help out)

kip has been critical on twitter about the don callis family, and basically saying he would never join them due to disrespect from don. and we all know how much kip loves and cares about oc (i dont have to proof this to you you have seen all the sweet tweets and other stuff. this man used to use the kissy face emoji frequently while tweeting at or about oc come on now), so seeing these two words colliding would probably not sit very well with him, i'd imagine. while someone could argue that kip has lost interest in oc since he has dropped the title and thats all that was ever about...

first of all, the "sweet little clementine" nickname has been used multiple times throughout the timeline. this wasnt just a mind game trick to get into ocs head during the title feud, it was in there way way before that ever happened (i believe we are talking about full gear 2020 if i recall my timelines right [its around 3 hours and 9 minutes]); he has always been affectionate about oc in a really weird way (hes british tho so thats probably why). second, how many times has kip been after anyone else between ocs title reigns and after? exactly zero. when mox and fenix were champs, he didnt say a peep (he did, whoever, put out my favorite tweet of all time when oc lost the title to mox). after oc gained the title, he started tweeting again about it. and again when oc lost it, not a word. kip hasnt said anything about the international title or rodney since then; the only time he did post, he told rodney to fuck off cause clementine was his. and since then? kip has been keeping an eye on the best friends feud so... do whatever you wish with that information (1, 2, 3)

the point is, the obsession was NOT with the title; hes just always been affectionate about and towards oc, but in a really weird and obsessive, kind of a destructive way

why is this necessary to bring up? well...

do you really think he would stand idly to the side to watch oc align himself with someone like don callis when all his other friends have abandoned him, all these things considered?

do i need to remind you of something? cause i will remind you of my favorite post

throughout this entire time, kip never gave up (im aware this is technically non-canon as this is a quote from stream but. if you know their history over on twitch, it counts. the feud bled over there during its prime too). yes this technically had everything to do with him tearing ocs friends away from him when this was posted, but.. dont you think its fitting tho? considering the situation oc is in now? and while yes it might seem that kip is taking the side of trent in this whole thing, this was specifically before don callis inserted himself into the situation by whispering whatever the hell into ocs ear

and what better time and way for kip to insert himself back into ocs life as the one person he can still rely on than right here and right now, when oc is so desperate for a connection and friendship that he'll take don callis of all people?

if we want to dig more into my personal observations, kip has never felt as respected or perceived as he did/does when hes across the ring from oc. this feud was the highlight of his career since the comeback (and arguably, his [and miros] feud with the best friends ending with arcade anarchy was the other, so these two have always been connected more or less), its the one thing people keep talking about in reference to him apart from the box; how he should have been the one taking the title from him, how kip should have been elevated from that point forward too. how people talk about him almost only when he has faced oc in the ring afterwards (which has been at least three times if i recall right from the top of my head) or had a chance to challenge again for that title before oc lost it entirely

so what is the conclusion i wanna draw from this? kip keeps bringing him up. he keeps on leeching on him. he wants that attention off of oc, but also from oc. and what better way to do that than to now befriend him, show him support, be there for him when everyone else has abandoned him?

except its not entirely malicious. it might start as such, but its definitely mutually beneficial, more so than intended; sure maybe kip takes the chance to get to oc when hes down and vulnerable, but theres also that high chance that he'll see he can actually help. kip can help pull oc back up and help rebuild him. kip can be useful and important in this equation too, not just oc (which.. its gonna show kips true colors tbh. considering how kip treats oc as a whole, but he was taking trents side earlier about everything when best friends broke apart so...)

i think this is enough of me rambling, so im gonna get to the point of the ask lmao; but yeah, while i'd love for chuck to come back, i dont think he needs to be the one to uncorrupt oc from under kips spell. cause there wont be a spell to begin with. while yes it might start more or less as a corrupting relationship if they got to tag together with oc, i dont think ultimately it would be harmful to him. just like kip would be there to be supportive of oc, eventually he would return the favor by helping kip flourish, like he has done more indirectly in the past. they are mutually beneficial to one another, for better or worse maybe, but its not going to lead oc down a dark path in my opinion. if anything, oc is uncorruptable at this point (especially without the belt but i feel like that story has completely died by now with roddy holding the title so im not going to touch that rn), and him getting love and support from someone genuine, although surprising in this case, it would just make him more likely to return that favor than to turn against it. what i mean is, oc would be the one to uncorrupt kip, if anything

thank you for coming to my tedtalk and im soooooo sorry for all of this