#i dont wanna put this in the tag but i wish there was some way to get these people to just understand my frustration

[lesbianpegbar]

i think we as a society should treat friendships like romantic relationships in that if someone is making advances towards becoming friends with you i think it should be socially acceptable to turn them down. im sorry but i personally dont feel the same way about our compatibility and relationship and i think we'd be better off as passing acquaintances. and then its upsetting to be rejected for a bit but you move on and find people that actually like you for you and wanna spend time with you. why is that not acceptable why is social interaction a game of 5d chess with multiverse time travel

[talkorsomething]

I'm in this really weird spot where I want to do things, but I cant. my brain just doesnt want to work with me anymore.

I keep thinking close to writing or drawing, but the ideas, the creativity, just isnt there. it's a change from the burnout/depression, I guess, but...

[evansonlylove]

okay then, well i like your kai fict and i think that you prolly wanna make some more. how about kai x reader where the reader want to be a dom so bad —doing a cowgirl or whatsoever, but kai enjoy slash jokingly or mock the reader about no matter how hard she tried she can never be the dom, so kai show her that he will always in charge. but anyway no pressure at all, free to ignore this if you dont want to okay? <3

i’m so sorry this took so long, i haven’t been doing the best and i wanted this to be good! i hope you enjoy it and get to see this. And thank you so much for sending this request in, i seriously appreciate you sending it in. REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

don’t test me

Kai anderson x Female reader

summary: while out with your friends one night you hear about their sex lives, although what you heard shocked you. Kai had always been the “one in charge” and you liked it that way but something in you wanted to try and dominate him. (reader is a sub at first, tries to dom and kai puts her in her place) caring kai at the end

warnings: 18+, smut, degrading, slapping, aggressiveness, choking, p n v, no condom, spit kink, kai’s fixation on being your God. all that kai toxicity and smuttyness

bold letters are kai’s speach.

“Hi baby” you hear his deep beautiful voice come out of your phone as you put it up to your ear. Even while out with your friends you missed him, how could you not?

“Hi kai! can you hear me good?” slowly slipping away from the crowd in the bar you trip on your heels, you tried to act as a sober as possible so he wouldn’t know you drank a little too much.

“Yeah, yeah i can. did you see the time yet?” he says with a demanding voice, shit. it was past 10 and you hadn’t even noticed. You look back at your friends waving their hands at you to come back.

“oh, the time? i mean it’s still kinda early and i don’t go out often. Do you think i can stay a bit longer?” you put your finger up to your lips and bite your nail nervously, but it was true. You were a good girl, always obeying his rules and staying true to him and only him.

“hm. Okay fine but not to long, i’ll be waiting for you so no funny business” finally hearing him agree you smile, after all he was your ruler, him saying yes to you felt like a reward. Quickly you reply

“thank you thank you! i’ll be good i promise” As much of a tough guy as he was, you knew how to get into his heart. Your cuteness and even fake innocence always found your way into that man’s love.

“You better be. i’ll see you in a little okay princess?”

“mhm!” you reply instantly and hang up, practically running up to your friends who had a drink waiting for you

“I don’t get why you have to explain yourself to him y/n” one of your friends say as you sit down. Soon they all tag along in teasing you about your relationship “Like yea he’s hot but don’t you even just want to be the dominant one? not have to say where you are and do whatever you want?”

Their words take a while to sink in, you had honestly never thought about your relationship being opposite or different in any way. You loved being his little lamb and good girl, being owned and loved even if it was in his twisted way.

“I don’t know.. i like it the way we are. Plus i could never dominate a man like him.” you say as you sip your drink and start thinking about it, what it would be like to ruin him if you could. Ruin him the way he does you… maybe make him beg. Snapping out of it you finish your drink in one gulp

“I’d give it a try if i were you, i didn’t know i had half the kinks i do now till i tried it. but, Kai is definitely more possessive and all that crazy shit than all out boyfriends combined so it’s up to you girl.” she laughs as you shrug your shoulders and feel your phone vibrate. You read a message from who other than Kai ‘it’s been 30 mins y/n don’t push your limits’

“you know what? i’m gonna do it. it shouldn’t be so hard to dominate a man” you stand up and take a shot glass filled with tequila and down it all. “Wish me luck” you hug them goodbye and walk out the bar feeling like you were invincible. Obviously at the time you didn’t know it was the drinks talking.

‘calm down, i’ll be there in a few.’ you reply as you start your walk, luckily you only loved about 5 minutes away from the apartment. Playing music loud out of your phone, you loved this feeling and you had almost forgotten what it was like to have fun. But like clockwork there’s another message from Kai within seconds

‘just get home you brat’ you read, he wasn’t as mad at you thought he’d be. Brat was like a cute nickname he gave you sometimes, And finally you’re downstairs without even noticing. You take a deep breath as you open the door to your apartment, you see your boyfriend sitting on the couch watching TV. You always knew he was hot but seeing him after the talk with your friends at the bar made you see how bad you wanted to own him. Putting down you bag and walking towards him you straddle him on the couch and push him back.

“I take you by how you look, you drank a lot?” you put your hand on his chin and roll your eyes

“yeah? what about it?” you say as you kiss him roughly, moving your fingers through his hair. If there was one thing you knew about yourself getting drunk is that you get confident and horny. You start grinding against his cock, you smile into the kiss as you felt him get hard in his jeans. You didn’t even feel his hand make his way to your neck slightly choking you.

“And what makes you think it’s okay to talk to me like that-“

“shut up and let me fuck you for once” you cut him off as you slip your dress off through your arms, revealing your lacy red bra to him. You could see the anger displayed on his face but honestly you didn’t care, it only turned you on more. He starts to sit up but you push him back again, you knew he could break you in half if he wanted to so the fact that he was holding back from taking control meant you could do more. You reach down and undo his pants fast before he could even react. or do you thought

“Maybe you let the alcohol get to your head a little you much you fucking brat. You don’t fuck me, I fuck you” he grabs you by your waist lifting you up slightly as he slid your panties to the side. “Dont worry little lamb, i’ll show you who fucks who” he whispered into your ear and ran his fingers down your lips. In that moment you melted instantly, you took his cock out his boxers as you saw his eyes tell you to.

“Aw you’re backing down so fast? even more pathetic than i thought” he said before you could even gather words to say he jerked his hips up finally putting his cock inside your wet pussy causing a moan to leave your lips. One of his hands make his way to your back and take your bra off in a quick motion. After a few jerks up into you he stops

“didnt you want to fuck me? go on, try” your pussy was left throbbing, you knew you could never make yourself feel as good as he did but there you went being his obedient little slut and started riding him. Your thighs shook as you slid up and down his hard cock, you could barley keep the same rhythm.

“I can’t do it kai..” you let out a desperate moan, feeling pathetic.

“Oh you poor girl, it doesn’t feel as good does it?” he placed both his hands on your face caressing you softly before he slapped you across your left cheek, and holding onto your chin after. “look at me and beg me to fuck you, admit you were wrong. You could NEVER dominate me, deep down you know you love being my personal little toy.”

“you’re right, i cant and will never be able to do it like you. You own me and i fucking love it” you bite your lip slowly and place your hands on his shoulders

“Yeah that’s right you fucking slut” His hips jerked up to yours once again fucking you restlessly, your moans filling the room as you leaned your head down on his neck, moaning into his ear. “you love getting fucked till you can’t take it.. you.. love getting ruined by your God” he whispered between thrusts, driving you crazy.

“Oh my god yes kai, i fucking love it, i love you” you whimpered out as your legs began shaking again and your core tightening, your pussy throbbing around his cock. “fuck please let me cum please kai” his hands reached down to your ass, gripping you tight, holding you up so he could fuck you even deeper than you thought was possible.

“yeah you love it, i love you more my little slut but you can’t cum just yet” his free hand runs down to your clit as he rubs small circles around it just perfectly to overstimulate you. Your breathing gets heavy as you feel his cock throb inside you. “this perfect little cunt is all mine, you cum once i tell you do okay?” he whispers and kisses down your neck, his thrust getting harder and moans leaving his lips and into your ears.

“Fucking cum for me now” you felt your body give out as those words left his mouth, leaning completely on him as his arms go around you holding you close as he filled you up with his cum. “This cunt was made to take my fucking loads, oh fuck you feel so perfect when you cum around my cock” you feel his cum dripping out with your juices as he stayed inside you

“kai.. oh fuck you have no idea how much i love being yours. i love it when you mark my pussy with your cum” you whisper as he holds you in his arms, still not pulling out.

“I had to remind you who’s in charge, if i have to slut you out to show you that then i’ll do it a million times till it gets burned into your pretty little head.” he lifted your head up from the crook of his neck and kissed you roughly “And as cute as it was to see you try to even dominate me, don’t ever try that shit again. don’t test me.” his hand wrapped around your neck as he awaited your response “you got it?”

“yes divine ruler i promise” you said as his placed around kiss on your lips and lifted you off his cock with a groan going into your ear. you tried to stand up but with the alcohol in your system and your legs not working properly as your boyfriend had just fucked you like no other.

“come on baby i got you” he carry’s you in his strong arms, you let out a smile as he takes you to the bathroom. “let’s get you washed up, and get us ready for bed” you felt your heart melt, everyone knew kai as a mean stone cold person but with you he was different, you loved these loving moments you got with him. As he got you in the bath you tried to think of what you’d tell your friends tomorrow but quickly get distracted as he gets into the tub with you. his beauty always hit you as if it was your first time seeing him. “you’re so fucking beautiful you know that baby?” he says catching you off guard as you didn’t notice him looking at you the way you were at him.

“youre a different kind of beauty kai. one i could never be” this relationship was all you both could ever want it to be, you could see it in his eyes and he could see it in yours.

once again ty so much for this request, if anyone else wants to send more in i appreciate it so much! i hope this was good. - rain♥️

[featguler]

calling it fine ────── it's the euros, and eduardo is frustrated.

♡ ────── pairing : eduardo camavinga x reader ♡ ────── tags : reader's gender, ethnicity, nationality, and appearance is not specified. pre-established, long distance relationship with cama. hurt/comfort. talking over the phone. i don't know abt football management ok dont come at me pls. mbappé mentioned. ♡ ────── wordcount : 389 ♡ ────── notes : MORE LIKE I'M FRUSTRATED!! PUT HIM ON THE PITCH!!! wrote this short piece bc i miss him... <//3 the title of this one-shot is from camden by gracie abrams, but it's not based on the song ♡ masterlist.

“Hi, baby.”

Tournaments are sensitive times—the day before, the hour before, the hour after, the day after. Relationships are all about self-control and being in charge of one’s pride; making do with what you have. And during these times, you have learnt to lower your ego more than anything else.

You have your episodes, and he has his. It’s a give and take compromise; no one is keeping count.

Eduardo breathes to the speaker on your ears, and you imagine him in a quiet changing room, or down in his accommodation, eyes closed.

“Hey,” he finally whispers back, “I’ve missed you.”

“You more,” you echo, and he chuckles against his mic.

“I’m sorry this is taking so long,” he sighs, and you hear some muffling sound on the other end of the line—you picture him shaking his own head, “I just wanna go back home to you.”

“Come on, baby,” you try to sound uplifting yet tender, though you smile at how endearing he sounded. “You were so excited—another year at the Euros, remember? Crushing the other team’s, one goal at a time?”

“Sorry,” he apologises again, “the game against Netherlands… it was just irritating… I don’t know.”

“Hey hey,” the quivering in his voice breaks your heart, and you can feel your own lips tremble, hearing as he becomes more vulnerable. “It’s fine. Take deep breaths, alright? It’s normal to be frustrated.”

“Right,” he says, sounding like he is trying to calm himself down more than he is agreeing with you. “I just wish I could do something about it, you know?”

“Yeah,” you whisper. “How’s the rest of the team?”

“More or less, the way I am,” he laughs quietly, “Kylian took it the hardest. He wanted to play.”

Eduardo pauses for a second—you wonder what kind of expression he is making right now—and exhales.

“I wanted to play too.”

“I know, I know,” your voice remains gentle. “What’s the plan for Tuesday?”

“They’re putting me in,” He sighs, “I hope.”

“They are,” you try to encourage him. “I can’t wait to see you, baby… through my TV screen.”

Eduardo laughs, “You’re always watching, huh?”

Hearing that hint of happiness in his voice, you release a smile—chest aching at how much you miss him, cheeks hurting at the wide stretch of your face muscles.

“I’m always here.”

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Im real nervous main tagging this because ive said my main peace and i dont wanna clog the tag up, but i will say after some context given i have a couple more thoughts?

tw// SA, r//pe mention, etc.

This will be a controversial statement. Me personally, i dont really honestly care? About what he said? It was eight years ago and he hasnt repeated the actions so i dont honestly and truly care what he did eight years ago, he was 19 then hes like 26 now theres honestly and truly a BIG maturity distance between 19 and 26, but also it was. Eight years ago? Thats all i have to say on that?

I Also dont really care for how it was brought to light, from what ive heard from pt speakers the expose was done by someone whos publicly anti towards the Brazilian CCs and ive heard they've dug up some dumb things about pac that werent "hot" enough to get trending i guess and definitely werent condemnable enough to get him cancelled, so it's honestly and truly in my heart something i see as being done in bad faith.

Alongside this, ive seen translation screenshots from one of the "victims" (not sure her stance on being called this so its in quotes) stating she does NOT want to be aligned with these allegations and has changed her username and profile picture because she honestly doesnt wanna be involved and doesnt want it being spread around, this is something else i view as bad faith and if anyone was affected by this then its the best thing to do as they wish, this not only affects the person being called out but also their victim negatively, especially if the victims profile is easily attached to their real life and especially when the victim is a female victim of assault or rape or anything like that, i hate to say it but as an afab person ive seen it firsthand that thats honestly the culture surrounding assault victims, and most people dont want that being brought up or put out in the public. Im a victim myself - people view you differently, it affects platonic and romantic relationships, it affects jobs, you are actively hurting the victim by spreading this if they dont want you to do so and arent prepared for that to be spread around.

From what ive seen, some people are condemning Forever for getting a lawyer - i dont view this as him being automatically guilty. I view this as him getting a lawyer because this person on twitter has been actively harassing not just him but all the brazilian CCs on the QSMP. This is harassment, the case against them will hold up in court and Forever has said he will speak about this more when everything is said and done

Alongside this, i will say im unhappy with Forever specifically for his statement on the situation. It wasnt handled the way we wouldve liked it, but it also wasnt handled via ukelele, it wasnt handled the worst way it could've been. Ive heard pt speakers say it was kind of formal, there was some slang in there but overall i've read the translated statement and to me it sounds more like a legal statement than anything - he mentioned having a lawyer, chances are the lawyer helped him write it. To me it doesnt sound like anything he'd fully say which is why i was so put off by it at first but this makes more sense to me honestly, i dont know if anyone would agree with this.

TL;DR

All in all, i think its a shitty situation but nothing to condemn Forever over. I ask people be thoughtful regarding the girl affected, and dont spread shit around with her name or profile attached to it unless she states otherwise. It was handled badly on Forever's end and blew up WAY too fast on twitter.

I've generally seen people be well behaved on here, ive seen some strong statements but otherwise i like to think we're better than twitter.

This probably wont be my last post on this as we get more on the situation over the next couple days, but this is my main thoughts right now. I'm still choosing to remain neutral, but more mixed than anything.

[loemius]

31. What post have you seen recently that makes you wanna scream lmao <3

oh boy youre asking me for the spicy hot takes tonight huh. i am always happy to deliver <3 i dont want to put anyone in particular on blast so ill refrain from mentioning specific posts, but i do find that a lot of content lately in the helpol sphere has been very... surface level. a lot of moodboards, a lot of basics, 101 level content, stuff like 'the gods love you!!'. which isn't inherently a bad thing whatsoever. there is a need for that kind of content! however, i've also noticed in my 2 years on helpol tumblr that a lot of the reconstructionist blogs and informative blogs that i used to follow have either went inactive or deactivated entirely. and i can't help but wonder why this is. i think there's a lot of reasons for it: frustration with the shallowness of content leading to people going off and becoming more solitary practitioners, the more you grow in your practice the less compelled you may become to share it, but also i think a lot of people use tumblr and people's ask boxes as a search engine and that leads to a lot of burnout. it certainly did for me -- i took a hiatus from posting for a long time because i wasn't in a place to educate people. it's a lot of pressure, especially on tumblr where it feels like people will jump down your throat if you're incorrect about things or you suddenly become an Authority that people look up to when youre just a person. people who were posting really helpful and informative content about the theoi simply arent here anymore, and i really think the community's gravitation towards easily consumable content and reliance on people to do research for them is a large part of this. i realize not everyone is recon, which is very much okay, although i personally love being recon. that being said, i still think you should do your best to do your research and understand where these ideas come from. they didn't appear out of thin air -- mediterranean culture is very much alive still and is a continuation of the ancient world, and to not acknowledge or understand it is disrespectful to both the cultural context of the theoi and mediterranean people whose culture we claim to revere. i don't expect everyone to become an academic or a classicist. its not accessible to everyone for a variety of reasons, but i do think like. checking out some of the primary sources in a way thats accessible for you or picking one really good book to really deep dive into would benefit a lot of people. basically, i just wish i saw more in depth posts and people engaging on a deeper level with their faith and being willing to post it so we can have more discussions as a community and grow together. helpol is unique among other polytheistic religions because we have a wealth of primary sources available to us, and that isn't always the case for other polytheistic religions. i think it's... honestly kind of sad that we don't really talk about them. its not that i dont want to see peoples upg or that i dont think there should be posts for beginners, because there is a place for it and i enjoy that content too, but i wish there was more variety in the kinds of posts we have in the community. i miss the days when the tags were full of people writing their own prayers or people talking about a new source they read and what they thought, or compiling something for their own practice and being willing to share it with the community. i guess this is my sign to get back to posting my own original content and make the kind of content i want to see in hopes it'll encourage others to do the same. anyway i got on my little soapbox about this and its time for me to hop off before i hit character limit (again lmao). thank you so much for this ask, this was really refreshing and cathartic for me to talk about. may the gods bless you with health, happiness, and love always <33

[nightmaree-eyess]

Orange is the last of us pt 2

Tlou fic based on oitnb

Summary: after abby got released from prison your resentment builds

Tags: prison au, femme reader, y/n, angst

Word count: 1702

Pt 1:

Divider @cafekitsune

Weeks and weeks go by and the letters keep coming in from abby. You can't bring yourself to read them. Maybe you do hold grudges after all. When you look at the envelopes all you can think is she got to walk free and you're still stuck in this piece of shit with stale air that lingers and agony oozing from the walls. It's not fair but that's life. You wouldn't wish her to come back to the personification of hell though. You wouldn't wish prison on your worst enemy. A part of you wants to read the letters she sends though. Gross curiosity about how she's doing. They taunt you.

“y/n mails here” a guard hands you an envelope and it's another letter from abby. This time instead of shoving it in the endless pile in your cabinet you bring it to the cafeteria at dinner to ask Ellie about it. They have history too and maybe she'll give you some advice.

***************

“If i can guess what the letter says it probably says *speaking in deep voice* hey babe miss you now lemme eat your pussy” ellie makes a v with her fingers and brings it to her mouth to make a crude gesture

“I’m fucking serious ellie. I don't know what to do. I want to know if shes ok but i also dont give a fuck.” you groan

“Well which feeling is stronger? Your love or your resentment?”

And with that question you knew what you had to do

****************

Later that night you end up reading the letter she sent. You take a deep breath to settle your nerves. Your hands are shaking as you take the letter out from the envelope.

Dear y/n,

You probably aren't opening these or if you are, i'm sure you don't really want to hear what i have to say. I doubt if th tables were turned that i would be reading this, but on the off chance that you are still reading, i want to try and explain myself which is difficult in a letter and would be so much easier face to face (even though im terrified that theyll lock me up if i step foot in there) i know that the situation in chicago seems fucked, but i promise i was protecting you.

There was a lot going on that I wasn't able to talk to you about and if I had had even a moment alone with you before the trial, I swear I would have been completely open and honest.

The last thing I want after everything we have been through is for you to feel lied to, or used in any way y/n, i promise.

I love you,

Abby xoxo

You sit there with your mouth agape.She wants to meet in person? What else can she even say? The next morning you ask your counsellor to add Abby to your visitors list. You wanna hear what she has to say. But you also miss having her in the same room as you. You miss sneaking touches under the table and kisses at night. You even miss your mundane conversations. She has a way of making you soft.

Couple days later you call Abby to arrange a Sunday for her to come up and see you. You're nervous but also excited to see her again.

****************

That sunday you walk into the visitation room and there she is, sitting at the middle table and she catches your eye. You see a sparkle that wasn't there before and you're happy for her as much as you don't want to be. You give her a quick hug (which got you yelled at) and you sit across from her. Shes wearing that grey sweater that makes her muscles look so fucking good. It's your favorite sweater she owns.

“This is totally weird but, i'm in the wrong outfit”

“I like your sweater.” you reach out to touch her buff arms to just feel that she's real

“Its soft…like your resolve when you're offered a plea deal” you snided

“It came down at the very last minute, y/n. Abby sighed “And they promised me it would put Kubo away for good.”

“But it made me a perjurer and you a free woman.”

“I thought you were gonna tell the truth!” abby yelled

“And I thought you were gonna lie!” you yelled back

“What are we in a fucking novel or something?” Abby said this made you both chuckle.

“It's good to see your face”

You shake your head “I don't know what to say.”

“You have every right to be angry.” abby sits back in her chair and crosses her arms

“I don't know if I'm angry. I'm confused…by you.”

Abby chuckles “I'm confused by me, too. I'm pretty much the master of handling things completely wrong.”

“Well that's an understatement” you say flatly

“Im a fuck-up. And now i get to be a fuck-up in a shithole apartment in Queens. Too afraid to even open my curtains.” abby looks around the room and whispers

“I sleep with a gun.”

“You what?! Abby , what the hell? You're on probation.”

“There is a van parked outside my apartment everyday. He's trying to scare me. I wanna go out there with a baseball bat and smash the fucking windows in.” abby looks scared and defeated

“I should honestly start dealing again”

You look at her in disbelief

“Find a bigger, tougher new kingpin who can beat up my old kingpin”

“That's not funny” you say worryingly

“It's not a joke. What am I qualified to do? Huh? I have…I have no job. I'm scared shitless to leave my apartment. I got so used to sleeping with the lights on that I'm freaked out by the dark. My probation officer, Robert Hill, is a fucking joke. Bobby fucking Hill is my probation officer.” you guys both laugh

“King of the hill?”

“King of sitting on his fat fucking ass eating Little Debbies, hoping to bust me for some stupid infraction.” abby sighs and looks down at the table

“You'd think that part of his job would be to protect his probbies, you know?...Nobody gives a shit about ex-cons.” abby said defeated

“What are you gonna do?”

Abby sighs and presses her lips together “i'm skipping town”

“You can't”

“I don't have a choice. These people know where I live. That's why I wanted to see you. When I go, I can't come back. I have to disappear.”

You feel a sting hit the back of your eyes and everything sounds muffled.

“You- you can't leave me.” you say desperately

“y/n, i'm in danger i have no choice”

“But i dont have anyone left…”

We stare at each other, wishing it didn't have to be this way.

“I'm sorry y/n. I'm sorry for all of it. I know my track record id shit…but I really do love you.”

“Yeah well, I hate you.”

“No, you don't.”

You look down at the table to hide your tears ``no… no i don't.”

“Visiting hours are over!” a guard yells and when you get up to leave you look at her one last time because you might never be able to again.

***************

For the rest of the day you worry for abby. She can't be serious right? Skipping town is not the best idea but is it the only way to keep her away from Kubo and his minions? You have an idea to keep Abby from danger but it involves calling your ex fiance who slept with your best friend. He could have slept with anyone but he chose your best friend. Asshole. But he owes you at least this favor to make up for it. You would've said you were even and let it go if he didnt sleep with your best friend.

“Hey y/n” Barry picks up the phone

“Hey are you alone right now?”

“No im with holly and you're on speaker phone” holly says hi

“Ugh great, I need a favour.”

“Depends on what it is”

“I need you to call abby's parole officer and tell him shes breaking her parole”

“Why would I do that?”

“I giving you a chance to fuck over someone you hate.”

There's silence on the other end

“Fine if you won't do it holly will you?”

“Sure whats the name of her parole officer”

“Robert Hill. He works for the DOC in Queens.”

You hang up the phone cause you really dont wanna be talking to them longer than you have to. At least the plan is in motion. It might seem a little selfish and you feel a tinge of guilt but with this plan at least you know she'll be safe. You can't let her skip town, start dealing again, or have Kubo find her. So you decide to be selfish. You wish it didn't come down to this. No one deserves to be in this cease pool, especially abby. You'll be taking this to your grave.

****************

You're working outside today setting up for a mothers day event and the sunshine feels good on your face. The closest to freedom you have.

“Your little girlfriend is back” ellie says to me teasing

“Wha- what do you mean?”

“Yeah I saw her walking to her bunk from the intake. She looks beat up”

“I-I gotta go see her!” you start to walk away

“Inmate, get back here! You can't leave during work!” a guard yells and I slowly walk back with my hands up in surrender.

“You'll see her around. It's not like she's going anywhere.” ellie said

*************

After work you go back to your bunk and see that the bed is finally occupied. Could this be Abby's stuff? That has to be a coincidence right? Many girls get processed through here everyday. What are the odds this is her stuff?

“We gotta stop meeting like this” a voice behind you says.

It's Abby. Fucking. Anderson.

[p3ndeja6]

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ

summary: Benny gets jealous that boys like to flirt with y/n and y/n makes sure that he doesn’t feel that way

Content tags: sarcasm, jealousy,a bit of yelling/arguing, make out sesh, fluff at the end

- benny w. x reader

——————————————————————————-

"Ethan! I just can’t stand it anymore!" Benny hated how boys would make heart eyes at you, to even snicker comments about your body. He hated how all these boys were savoring his girl.

“ oh cmon Benny, just tell her how you feel, communicate!”

“Ethan … it’s not that simple”, he paced around Ethan’s room thinking about ways to come up with courage to talk about how he feels and wishes you could comfort him to let him know that he’s the only boy in your world

He plops down on the bed and grabs a pillow to scream into it. Giving him some sense of relief. looks up at the ceiling trying to put his thoughts and feelings into words.

“Look Benny don’t sweat it, y/n loves you a lot to do anything to jeopardize your guy’s relationship, you need to trust her and talk to her about it"

“When did you become the love expert? you can’t even talk to Sarah without mixing your words up”

“ I can talk to her !….. just not to ask her out”

“Yeah that’s what I thought”

“Look I’m gonna go home and hopefully sleep it off, I’ll see you tomorrow” Benny walks out, saying his goodbyes to Mr and Mrs Morgan. As Benny is walking home he simply can’t get rid of this itching insecurity that he has.

What if y/n eventually finds someone better than him and she leaves him, or she realizes she can have someone much better. These thoughts ran like crazy in benny’s head.

As he got home, he decided he needed a cold shower to fully relax his body and mind. He did his night routine of playing video games and watching tv. He finally settled in and drifted of to sleep.

-; ✧˖*°࿐

The next morning Benny woke up and dressed up in his dorky clothing and got ready for school, he met up with Ethan

“Hey dude did you sleep well last night?”

“Sorta, I just feel this insecurity that’s she’ll leave me”

as he was saying that, you started to go up to your boyfriend and his friend. While doing so, boys would wolf whistle at you, you enjoyed the attention but all you cared about was the attention of your man. all you did was smile, laugh, and throw in a small hair flip as you walked down the hall. Benny saw this and was already agitated.

“Hey pretty boy, how are you this lovely morning” you asked

“oh it’s been so lovely indeed y/n!” he gestured his hands like a magical princess

“oh? what’s wrong, why are you being like that?” “Being like what? I’m being myself y/n, can’t I not?”

Ethan at this point started to back away slowly, trying to avoid whatever is about to explode at any moment

“woahhh benny, why are you acting like a douche right now? Did I do something wrong? do you wanna talk about it?” You tried not losing your cool

he sighed obnoxiously, “no y/n, I don’t want to talk about it, look I’m going to be late, I’ll see you later” he walked away leaving you annoyed, upset, and confused

“What the fuck?”

-; ✧˖*°࿐

school ended and you wanted to look for Benny in hopes to fix things with him, whatever you think you did, try to fix. you wandered the halls until you bumped into Ethan and Sarah

“Hey guys have you seen Benny, I can’t find him and I just want to talk to him about this morning”

“yeah we just saw him, he just left, he said he was going home.” Ethan said while giving a sympathetic smile

“oh.. well I’m going to catch up to him, thanks guys”

“Of course y/n”

-; ✧˖*°࿐

you got to Benny’s and knocked on his door

knock knock knock

the door opened and it was his grandma

“ hey mrs. weir!, is Benny home?”

“yes he just got home, he seemed a bit upset, hopefully you can help!”

“I wish I can too”

you walked up the stairs to his room and softly knocked on his door, slightly leaning your head towards the door in hopes to hear some noise

“grandma go away, I dont want to talk”

you opened the door slowly, “uh no, it’s me.. I came here to talk”

“I dont”

You were at this point were done, you sat next to him “look I do, I want to know what’s wrong and why you are taking it out on me?” “look y/n-”

“ no Benny, what’s the matter, why can’t you talk to me? I’m trying here and I want to help you because I’m your girlfriend and I’m sorry if I did something, if I’m too bus-“ “THATS IT!”

you stopped talking, shocked at his response

“Because you’re my girlfriend” “what’s that have to do with anything?”

“Y/n you are so perfect and beautiful and smart, all the boys are DYING to have you and be with you, and it makes me feel so bad that these guys can take you away from me, I’m such a loser.. you deserve a guy who meets to your standards.. not like a guy like me,..”

you sighed, caressing his cheek in regards of him looking at you, “benny.. that’s why?” He nodded his head, “benny, you are the only guy for me, I want you.. not those other guys, you are so much better than those jerkoffs, you are smart, funny, and so much more better looking, that’s why I call you my pretty boy”

You slowly get closer to him and continue caressing him, “ I wouldn’t want it any other way bens” he finally looked up at you with watery eyes..

“I love you benny, don’t forget that”

he got even closer, “I love you too”

You two were so close to each other you can feel each others breaths, the tension was there.

You decided to close the gap

you passionately kissed each other while bennys hands started exploring your back, you move your hands to his hair and lightly tug on it receiving little whimpers from him, you lick onto his bottom lip asking for dominance, a bit a of a hassle since he wasn’t giving in but eventually did

This continued on until his grandma opened the door

“I brought some sandwiches in case you guys are- OH MY-“

“GRANDMA!”

you laughed at him and hugged him, enjoying these moment with him

-; ✧˖*°࿐

[inkbedou]

everyone give a warm welcome to our "new" lix ego...

Cruz!

I LOVE HIM MY BOY!! if you havent seen @wouldntyou-liketoknow 's (the creator of Cruz) post ab him (you should XD), he's the guy that calls you to clean the Late Night Mop house! it was made as a gift for @sammys-magical-au and i was tagged a little after, and i have since fallen in love with him XD what can i say, i love spooky characters ♥️

i cant promise anything (cause im all over the place all the time) but i wanna remake/redisign a lot of the other lix egos, especially after making Cruz so detailed, so ill be on that!

i thought of a lot of stuff ab Cruz, so more lore under the read more!!

i managed to stick a lot of artifacts on him XD his two necklaces (which one has weird creature teeth if its not clear in my drawin), his bracelet with the red crystal, the arrow tips on his belt and his bag which not only has the pocketwatch attached but it also helps to take his spooky books and papers wherever he goes!

he has so much stuff he carries XD his bag, his violin case, his cat... i think that he wouldnt like to stay in one place for too long, so he's always ready to get up and leave.

im probably on some fbi list after looking this up, but there are some mp3 players that cant be tracked and i gave Cruz one of them! i dont like policing what people think characters listen to, so what he does listen to is up to your imagination!

his cat, Macaroon, can shape shift to look more normal! i put his "normal" colors in the ref. however, he does feel more comfortable when around Cruz so near his owner he looks his weird red way!

finally, his tattoos! the four eyes melting into each other idea was in @wouldntyou-liketoknow 's description of Cruz, but i changed it up a little so that the four eyes represent the other four spooky lix egos! the spider for spideyboy!lix, the pink and green glitched one with smoke for shadow!lix, the green flower eye for cryprid!lix and the one at the bottom with teeth for lunky! i like to think they've had some interaction :)

the back tattoo was inspired by the music videos of kikuo songs, especially 'kara kara kara no kara' and 'hole dwelling' , which are both spooky songs that i love!

id talk ab the chest tattoo, but there wasnt a looot of thought gone into it, i just wanted it to look like a protection symbol that turns weird at the bottom.

like i wrote on the ref, i wish i couldve showed his tattoos more on his design, but i cant think of any clothing that wouldnt look weird to show them XD, but i did think ab giving him a black sleeveless turtleneck shirt (like the one he has but sleeveless) and a thinner robe thing to show off the arm tattoo, so u can think of that as a secondary outfit XD

if i remake the other lix ego designs, space!lix will be next! i look forward to actually giving him a name since i don't think he has one ;)(unless ive missed it which could be possible...)

[averythepirate]

Get to know me better

@an-asuryampasya thanks for tagging me in this ask game :)

do you make your bed? Yes, every day after i've had breakfast and feel less groggy.

what is your job? I'm a journalist! Here and there i am a consultant for some research projects. That first one i'm still doing my bachelors for!

if you could go back to school, would you? Since i'm already in school, no. I would not come back for a masters either.

can you parallel park? I do not have a drivers license!

a job you had that would surprise people? For a few months i was a kids math teacher. This is surprising because i am extremely bad at math. They were young enough that i could explain it though.

do you think aliens are real? Yes, with the idea that the universe is very very big. It seems unlikely that there's no one else in it except us. Or the universe is still so young we'll be dead ages by the time there's any aliens, in the star trek sense of the word.

can you drive a manual car? I do not have a driver's license still

what's your guilty pleasure? You should never feel guilty about these things!! I don't really have anything that i do or watch or read that i feel unease about. I like star wars, but i dont often speak of it, since theres a type of man that can attract who i don't wanna speak to. Guess that would come closest.

tattoos? Nope, pierced ears though! Planning on more.

do you like puzzles? Yes. I'm not particularly good at them in video games, but i very much enjoy social research, and the puzzle that comes with that.

any phobias? Yes, fear of heights! I very much know it's safe 90% of the time but this does not seem to help it. If you put me in a ferry wheel i will be gripping the railing and close my eyes until its done.

favourite childhood sport? Horse riding. I still miss it sometimes. Archery was good as well, and i liked the theater classes my mom put me on briefly.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? I think it was a singer, or a dancer.

do you talk to yourself? Oh yeah definitely, more so when there isn't anybody around.

what movies do you adore? Both the Yakuza and Ace Attorney movie. Some argue they aren't good, but they are faithful to the core of both games. Besides that, i really enjoy the cluttered sets and the way the compositions are set up. I wish i could draw the way those movies look.

coffee or tea? Coffee, though i should drink less of it. I like green tea too.

favourite colour? I adore magenta, purples and blues for painting. Anything a little mixed with blue.

I tag @fishmorgue @alsophila-grahami @sazeracs @tzeimi to do it as well! No pressure if you don't wanna.

[love-toxin]

Omg Ellie so (totally haven’t been stalking ur spicy tag 👀) but I just found this and... if you ever wanna do more of puppy play Eddie, you definitely have an audience lmao

heh.....my brain is rotating......Eddie puppy play but it's a throuple--you, Steve, and Eddie, your precious pup that you two just looooove caring for <3

(cw: petplay/puppy play, collars and leashes)

it's something that happens kind of on a whim. you and Steve have had those conversations about having a threesome, maybe even a third partner, but you haven't found any viable candidates yet. too bossy. not affectionate. only interested in sex. only interested in Steve or you, not both. every time you try, something comes up.

but then Eddie just falls into your laps, and you find your answer. probably strolls into Family Video one day while Steve's working, or the arcade next door where you work, and you two get to know him--and when you realize that he's a lot more apt to be unconventional, you grab the opportunity to propose a threeway. he's only a little hesitant but he eases in quickly when the time comes, and he understands that you're not just mocking him--it actually goes amazingly, leagues better than any that you and Steve have tried before. but afterwards, when you hint at taking things further, Eddie warns you of a little "problem" of his--an interest that he swears you won't be down for even though he hasn't told you what it is yet.

when he does, finally, after weeks of pestering, the stuff he has in his room makes a lot more sense. handcuffs could just be written off as kinky, but the collar and the leash....it makes a lot more sense when you find out Eddie's into puppy play. but like the open-minded people that you and your boyfriend are, you offer to indulge him in his fantasy, especially since he's revealed that he's never done it with someone before. only messed around by himself. that's gonna change.

first, Steve gets the leash. clips the collar round Eddie's neck and works out some guidelines--safeword, dos and donts, things he can say and not say--and once that's done, it's go time. literally. Eddie's butt is already wiggling where he's knelt on Steve's bedroom floor, looking up at both of you with big, brown doe eyes and a hopeful whimper as he barks softly for your attention. you thread your fingers through his soft hair and watch him lean up into your touch, eyes closed and nose scrunched up as he tries to nuzzle you for more. his cock is already leaking when you call him your good boy, and when Steve sternly orders him to beg for it, Eddie begs. he does it for you, for Steve, for a touch, any touch to relieve that awful pressure you two are putting in his belly with your commands. he's indiscriminate, eagerly drooling all over his own lap when Steve fucks his face, and humping your leg when you snap your fingers at him and tell him to enjoy his treat--cause good boys get to cum, and Eddie makes sure to be a very good boy for you. his ass is sore and his cock is soaked and strained by the end of it all, but he doesn't even settle down until he's nestled up between you two in bed, clean, fed, warm, and happy. he's so overwhelmed in a good way, wishing and hoping in his dreams that you two will have mercy and let him act out this fantasy with you again--he's got no idea you and Steve have absolutely no plans of letting him go, and are gonna tell him you're keeping him as soon as he wakes up. you've always pestered Steve for a dog, anyways, and now you've finally got one <3

[highladyelenna]

hey! im what some would consider a "gwynriel" but ive seen sm hate on ur account for liking elriel when u literally tag pro gwyneth too! genuinely its like people assume that bc ur an elriel that ur being mean to her :( its sad to see especially since it is ultimately its just a book. having hyperfixations and being SUPER emotionally invested is valid but real people fighting to this extent over fictional characters is crazy 😂

i really love reading your takes even if i dont agree because your theories make sense! and seeing a version of elain who embraced the night court would be so so so so cool. but i dont think she will since sjms introduced gwyn (part of me is a lil disappointed she didn't do that with elain, but im hoping she'll write something cool like that for us in the future)

i just want all of these characters to end up with as peaceful of an ending as possible, including lucien, tamlin, and eris. i think beron and hybern poisoned sm of prythian over the years that everyone deserves at least a chance to redeem themselves after amarantha. but i think elain's book will handle koschei for sure, shes ready to do more and i wanna see what shes gonna do to him 👀

Hiiii, thank you sm for the kind words🖤

I try my best to always put “this is just my opinion” or “this is just a rant” I understand not everyone’s going to agree with me and that’s okay, i don’t mind. But, yes, to respond to my posts with hate is wild. Like I’m always up for a friendly discussion but if you’re gonna attack me then i won’t stand for it.

One thing about me that I try to work on is being the bigger person and not responding to comments that are coming at me. I’m just really defensive, but something I’m working on.

I��m glad you as a “gwynriel” can see that I have no hate for Gwyn. I actually love her and think she deserves better than what it seems she’s been getting right now.

Yes, I do prefer Elriel simply because I love a forbidden love trope. And I’d love to see the mating bonds be explored more in terms of rejection. Do I wish Lucien any ill? No, I actually hope he finds someone. If Elriel does happen. I want him happy! I also want Gwyn happy. If Elucien happens, I want Azriel to be happy!

I’ve stated in comments before, but it always seems to go unnoticed, but i’m pro-elain’s choice.

If she chooses Lucien, yay. If she chooses Az, yay. If she chooses neither and enjoys figuring out her fae life alone? YAY.

I’ll be happy either way!

As for Gwyn, I just want her to be happy. She is a sweet happy bubbly person who loves with her whole heart and what SJM has written so far is only setting her up for heartbreak and it’s very sad to me bc she’s the least deserving of it. I actually really hope we get to see more of Gwyn’s family history! I want to know her parents. I want to know how she came to live in the night court.

And I agree I’m a sucker for a happy ending and if we get to see all these characters happy i will be here for it!!!

There are certain characters I really don’t care for, yet! But seeing more of their background is always fun! I love seeing characters go from sidelines to a fully developed person with a story!🖤

[fyodoro]

HII! i've been into dance moms lately help😭 can i req akito , toya, and rui (separatly) w a fem s/o who was on dance moms? if u dont wanna write this thats ok hehe have a good day!

-> 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞!

You felt a lot of indifference towards your past position, but they’re always there to tell you you’re more than your past

With Akito Shinonome, Toya Aoyagi and Rui Kanishiro

Cw! Mentions of past trauma, yelling, implied past anxiety attacks, self sabotage (kinda), you punch rui!!!! | fluff (akito’s), comfort (toya’s), Angst to fluff (rui’s)

Akito Shinonome

When Akito first met you, he knew he’s seen you somewhere before. He just couldn’t put his finger on it, but knew you were a familiar face. It wasn’t until one fateful day Ena woke up earlier than usual and put something on the family TV.

He recognized your face instantly, and everything fell into place. ‘You looked so familiar because Ena would watch you all the time on TV.’

A scoff escaped the ginger’s lips, how could he forget that? Although, you have changed quite a bit since you stopped appearing on the show. The version of you practicing on the television now is so tiny compared to who you are now. Both mentally and physically.

“You’ve been a little too interested in Dance Moms Akito, you feeling okay?” Ena said teasingly. It’s not often she saw her brother paying attention to something like that.

“I’m fine. Hey- does it really matter what I watch and don’t watch?” Ena laughed at his remark, brushing him off and sending him to the Cheesecake shop they both like to pick a slice up for her.

The younger rolled his eyes in annoyance at her request, but did so anyway. At least he could get a slice for himself.

The walk was just like any other, gripping the money tightly in his pocket and only focusing on his destination. Well, that was Akito’s main focus. Coincidentally, he just so happened to see your face in the crowd. It took him a moment to recognize that it was the current you. After all, he just finished watching your younger self on an old show.

There was a silent debate in his head on whether he should go up to you or not. ‘Wouldn’t that be creepy?’ He thought. But it’s not like he’s a stranger to you… you couldn’t mind too much, right? Before he could finish the debate, the boy found himself walking your way already.

“Oh, Akito? I didn’t know you came around these parts. What’s up?” The small smile on your face felt a little forced, but Akito paid no mind to it.

“I could say the same to you, I didn’t think someone like you would come to such a crowded area.”

His words rang in your head a bit, ‘someone like me?’ You thought. While you didn’t want to acknowledge it, you knew what he was talking about. ‘I guess I can’t keep it a secret for too long to anyone.’

“Oh well you know, it’s been so long since I dropped out the show. Not many people recognize me anymore. Which actually, I’m pretty grateful for.” You said. While you liked the attention for a bit, it got overwhelming fast. Learning how to keep up with fake fronts to strangers was exhausting, though Akito didn’t seem to mind the natural you.

“Yeah, I only realized it was you when my sister put one of your episodes on earlier. But it’s cool, you’re still (Name) at the end of the day.”

Something about his words were comforting. At the end of the day, you were just a regular person. It felt nice to have someone acknowledge that without putting you on a pedestal.

“Hey, where were you heading?” You asked. Partly out of genuine curiosity, and partly out of wishful thinking. Maybe you can tag along with him.

“The bakery, I’m picking up some cheesecake for me and my sister. She sends me on these errands a lot.” He scratched the back of his head a bit. One thing you both had in common? Keeping up a fake appearance in front of certain people.

“Oh, I know the bakery your talking about, I love it there! Can I come with you, perhaps?” Honestly, you just wanted to get out of the crowded plaza. Otherwise if someone recognized you here, you’d be too exhausted to do anything for the rest of the day.

Akito didn’t mind one bit. He sensed some desperation in your voice, and assumed what you were thinking. There was a mutual understanding that both of you were trying to make yourselves look good right now.

He wouldn’t mind getting to know the other side of your personality a lot better.

Toya Aoyagi

Toya wouldn’t have known who you were until An pointed it out. He wasn’t aloud much television or internet access as a kid, and when he was, it was always monitored. So to say he was clueless would be an understatement.

It didn’t help that An was so casual about it, just casually saying;

“You see that student? They were on this show I used to watch as a kid, Dance Moms, isn’t it so cool she goes to our school?”

When Toya hears this, he thinks it might have been an idol show, and you were a former idol. It wouldn’t be anything new for An to be so normal about being acquainted with a popular figure. The dual hair boy let his curiosity get the best of him and looked up this… “Dance Moms.”

He only watched the episodes you were in, trying to understand where your coming from and what made you so special. Though when he finished, he felt more worried about you than he’d have liked.

Watching you get screamed at over messing up precise steps, seeing you get belittled to put other dancers up, it looked traumatic. He could understand why you dropped out of the show, the experience didn’t seem like a pleasant one.

The next day, seeing you in the halls felt… different. He just watched a big chunk of your childhood, and now he has to act like he doesn’t know a thing about you. Surely you wouldn’t like to be talked to cause you were on such a exploiting show as a kid? With each passing period, he noticed you more and more.

But seeing you alone throughout the day made the boy feel bad. Did you choose to be alone? Did others avoid you because of how they watched you get screamed at so much as a kid? He wasn’t sure. But he was sure something in him made him take a seat next to you on a bench.

The silence was awkward and the tension felt thick. ‘I definitely should have thought this through.’ He thinks. He clears his throat, getting ready to speak before you ended up speaking first.

“What do you want? Come here to tell me how bad of a dancer I was on that show?” Your voice was laced with disgust, emphasizing that disgust even more when you mentioned “that show.”

While Toya was no expert on dancing, he knew that your dancing wasn’t bad at all. Sure, you might have screwed up a few moves. But didn’t everyone? Yours just so happened to get more shunned than any others did.

“No, actually. I’ve seen you alone a lot, and everyone could use some company.” He said sincerely. He knew bringing up your status wasn’t a good idea, and avoided mentioning it. You appreciated that, but only a bit.

You looked frustrated. ‘Why would you be frustrated?’ He thinks to himself. He would understand being upset, or even a bit annoyed. But frustration felt like an odd emotion to feel in this situation. To him, at least.

“You’re just going to try and get close to me, get a little bit popular, and leave with that popularity. That’s what they all do, I assume you’re no different from them. Maybe your double colored hair represents how two faced you are.” That’s a bold claim…

He began piecing the puzzle together. You were always alone because you distanced yourself from everyone, and you had a fear. It made sense now, the fear of being used was a scary one to him. At the same time, he wants you to see having real friends is important, much better than being alone.

“In that case, could I prove to you I’m not… ‘two-faced’?” He asked. You almost choked on your spit at that. Why would he want to prove anything to you?

“If you try hard enough, maybe. I can’t be fooled easily by whatever your going to do.” There was a trace of amusement in your voice, as if this was the first time you’ve heard a funny joke. But with that amusement also came bitterness.

Toya made a pact with himself, and a silent pact with you. He would do whatever it took to show you having friends isn’t so bad, as long as you find the real ones. And he’s okay with being your first real friend.

Rui Kamishiro

Rui was sure he was mistaken. Someone so talented- popular- someone with such a clean reputation… wants to be with him? He couldn’t believe it.

For a moment, he thought of putting distance between the two of you. Someone like you shouldn’t be around someone like him. People would surely get the wrong idea, and then you’d lose everything. He didn’t want that for you, not at all.

The best way to avoid that outcome?

Distancing himself.

The tall alchemist almost felt like he was in junior high again. The way he pushed you away was all too familiar to the way he pushed Nene away, and he hated it. But, this was for your own good.

At least, that’s what he wanted to believe.

He found it difficult to keep you away. After class ends, you’re always running up to him with lit up eyes. It was a subtle part of his day that he didn’t realize he loved so much, he missed it.

Now he had to ignore that light and walk directly to the next class. It hurt, but he paid no mind to it. You were probably doing just as well, if not, better, without him.

Though that wasn’t the case at all.

In your eyes, Rui had left you alone in the dark. There was no explanation for the sudden cut off, there was no sign of it beforehand. It had you running in circles in your mind. ‘What could I have possibly done?’ You thought.

You attempted to confront him, multiple times in fact. But every time he sees you, he scurries away hastily. Apart of you wanted to slap him across the face, but the other part just wanted to break down in front of him and beg for an explanation.

You two were practically best friends before all this. He helped you out of being crowded by old fans and was like a bodyguard at times. Rui never cared about the person you used to be, he only cared about the person you are now. It meant a lot to you.

But now it seems he’s forgotten all about that.

You needed to corner him if you wanted an explanation. He had to be alone with no excuse to just “go away.” You just had to catch him at that perfect time. Even if it takes awhile, you’ll wait as long as you need for him.

A few days went by with 0 luck. The only time you saw an opening, he started messing with two underclassmen. One looked like he was about to snap Rui’s neck while the other was keeping him from doing so. It was an amusing sight, and you were happy to see Rui in his element. Even if you wish those two underclassmen went another way.

Making your way to the vending machines, you spotted the familiar purple haired boy fiddling with the buttons. A look of irritation plastered on his face as he begins to shake the machine from the sides.

‘Ah, something must have gotten stuck.’ You thought. This wasn’t an opportunity you could miss, it was too good. You walk up to Rui and the vending machine, helping him shake it a bit more vigorously before the soda candy finally dropped. He bent down to open the slot and retrieve his snack, and then turned to you.

“Why thank… you..” A face of realization flashed across his face. ‘Theres no way out of this one.’ He thought.

“Rui.”

“(Name)…”

Rui looked at everything except you, trying his hardest not to crack open. What could you possibly want from him that’ll put your reputation at risk?

“Can you tell me? Tell me what I did. You stopped talking to me out of no where, and keep avoiding me! Do you have any idea how hard I’ve been trying to talk to you?” Your voice cracked a bit. There was a deep sense of desperation in your voice that only a fool could miss, and Rui was no fool.

“I just thought you’d be better without me (Name). You’re talented, beautiful, and most of all, a good person. If people see you with me they’re going to think you’re a weirdo like me.” He never realized how dumb his idea sounded until he said it out loud. He wanted to distance himself because you were more important than him? ‘Pathetic of me…’ he thinks.

A silence coated the two of you, and the last thing you wanted was to indulge in it. This whole time… he was avoiding you because of your reputation? Because he didn’t want to ruin your reputation just by being around you? You wanted to laugh.

“I hope you know how happy I am being your friend. You don’t water me down to “a previous dancer on television” and you never did. I always appreciated that and I just- I just want to keep being with you Rui.” This time you couldn’t stop the voice cracks, or the lone tears falling down your cheeks.

Like all the times before, Rui pulled down his sleeve and wiped your tears. His gesture made your heart melt like it always did. He couldn’t stand seeing you cry, it was only worse you were crying because of him.

“I’m sorry (Name), if I had known… I would have stayed with you. I won’t let a mistake like this happen again, I promise.” His tone was sincere and gentle. His hands still on your cheeks from wiping your tears, it was a moment you could stay in forever.

But you weren’t going to forget what he did that easily, no matter the reason. You pulled away and punched his shoulder a little harsher than intended. He yelped in brief pain, clutching his shoulder.

“What was that for??!” He nearly laughed, but refused to give you the reaction you wanted.

“That was for leaving me in the dust for days! Do it again, and it’ll be worse.”

Rui didn’t wanna know what that meant, and deepened the promise he made in his head SK he would certainly never do that again.

Despite the stinging pain he felt, he smiled.

‘I really missed this..’

[amalgamezz]

About your aro post in your tags you said you don’t care for any loves (romantic, familial [<- I don’t feel that one too :D] etc.) does that go for friendships as well? Or are you more of a person who doesn’t care for connection at all? I hope I worded that right…

heya, thank you for this ask, and no worries, your wordings are fine! sorry, this will be a long one because my audhd demands that i should provide full contexts 😔

as i interacted and got to know more about aplatonic and loveless communities, i found a certain solidarity/kinship with them. ever since i was in elementary, friendship has never been something i actively seek myself. i still got along well with classmates. my relationships with coworkers are chill and good. i have mutuals and friendly acquaintances here and there to talk about our shared interests. i try to maintain a good relationship with my family because capitalism sucks ass, especially for single people. in a way, this, too, is how i practice relationship anarchy — to give each casual and non-casual relationship i have a function and learn to appreciate them instead of putting the burdens on one or two committed relationships. for me, friendship has become a label for happy coincidences born out of those relationships after long and frequent interactions, if both parties desire a name for it. i have some positive connections with friends who i trust with my life, and i would mourn intensively should i lose them, but tbh, im not sure if i would personally call it "love".

i was lovequeer before i am loveless. im actually still considering myself lovequeer in a way that i strongly believe that love doesnt have to be romantic and that no kind of love is superior to the other. my personal relationship with love is complicated, but mostly sour. as an aro, i am a fierce defender of non-romantic loves. it annoys me greatly when people casually throw amatonormative phrases such as "there is no platonic explanation for this" or "friends dont do that" around. it is usually a hopeless and lonely battle because people dont really care about "not all loves are romantic" until you reject the concept of love altogether. more often than not, it becomes a gotcha towards aros who express their frustration with obsession over love by society.

this frustration, too, drew me closer to the concept of lovelessness. lovelessness means different things to different people, but for me, its the rejection of love being a superior, necessary, or moral trait of a human being. i had a knee-jerk reaction at first when i learned the term, but the more i read about it and introspect, the more it resonates with me. i remember how my parents hit me when i was a kid. i remember my aunt chewed me out in front of my entire family for expressing my wish to stay single and childless. i remember being driven to tears as my dad sneakily threw out a gift from my friend that i hung on my car and replaced it with a rosary. when asked why, they said because they wanted what was best for me. because they wanted me to be happy. because they loved me. it all sounded contradictory, but i have been with them long enough to know that they were being genuine. i dont wanna think its not a real love because i dont find it useful and more often than not, it only makes me question myself if i have been a fair evaluator and get guilty when i think im not. instead, i just have to accept that good intentions dont always bring good outcomes. their love is real, but its like a sun that burns and hurts more intensively the closer i get to it. i started coming to terms with love being a neutral but strong emotional motive that drives humans to do something — just like pleasure, joy, anger, sadness, envy, etc. whether you do good, bad, or neither because of it solely depends on you. i can acknowledge that they love me, but that doesnt mean they should be able to use it as an excuse to hurt me. this applies to all kinds of love.

i have nothing against love or the people who cherish it, but as i start dissecting and understanding more about love, it becomes less and less significant in my life. i start to realise that i dont need to love someone to bring them happiness or do good for them. i dont need to love my friends to care for or emotionally support them when they need it. i dont need to love my mutuals or even strangers to consider donating for their groceries. i dont need to love the victims of war to condemn the hideous crimes committed against them by some certain govts. love doesnt make me human. i just simply am, and im happy with the loveless relationships/connections i currently have.

[guavagyu]

red chardonnay - m.jh!

jun makes me so dizzy i swear

i luv jun!! his long bleached hair is SO pretty!! and w his glasses? oh lord im done for

also..i made a banner?!?!? im in a new era 😻 (jk im probably never going to make another)

tagging @hobihearteu cuz sub svt!!!!

i used a prompt generator for this </3 (i already put names in)

prompt: jun and y/n going back to one or the other's house after a date, where they eventually end up dry-humping on the couch. y/n only intends this as foreplay, but jun is already getting overwhelmed. y/n finds this amusing and endearing, leaning close to whisper something teasingly into jun's ear. It turns out that jun is more excited than y/n thought, and hits orgasm without any further stimulation, to the surprise of y/n and the embarrassment of jun. what happens next? 

thats literally the synopsis too ig^

wc: 1.2k

content: smut (duh, mdnI!), fluff, sooo domestic, jun is the sweetest boy ever i wanna wife him up, established relationship, mentions of alchohol consumption, softdom!reader, fem!reader (i don't think pronouns are used though), sub!jun, mommy kink, tall!reader (idk if its ever blatantly mentioned but its there ig), praise kink, brief degradation, dacryphilia, slight cockwarming, unprotected sex (dont do this), gagging (panties r shoved in juns mouth), fingering, nicknames (baby, love, whore, kitten, pretty boy, good boy, lover boy), brief possessiveness, no aftercare cuz it cuts off before then, lmk if theres more!

"junnie i can pay, it's okay!" you insisted, trying to tell the waiter to take your card instead of his,

"no i- sorry could you give us a second?" jun looked at the waiter who nodded and walked off, "baby please just let me cover tonight, i'm the one that took you out!"

"no i don't want you to keep spending this much money on me, can we just split it then?"

"y/n if i wasn't willing to spend money do you think i would've brought you here? and no, i'm paying," he said before calling the waiter back over to hand over his card, silently gloating at his victory. he loved taking care of you, even after dating you for so long, his feelings never changed. the waiter came back soon with the receipt, frowning at the sight of "garden salad, $19", the cheapest item on the menu. you tried to argue that you weren't super hungry and didn't want to eat that heavy, but he's known you for long enough that you just didn't want to make him spend money on things you don't believe should be over two dollars,

"okay, can we just go home now?" you sighed, thinking about how you could somehow slip a twenty into his pocket at some point, or in his wallet when he's not looking,

"sure, c'mon," holding out his hand, you took it, lacing your fingers together as he led you though the masses of people, finally reaching your car, you took the drivers seat, sitting down before shoving the key into the ignition. jun couldn't help but watch as your dress slid up your thighs, stopping just short of your underwear, as he nervously swallowed, feeling the blood flow to his dick as he wished you would never leave the lot and just fuck him till the sun rises. despite that wish, he knew it'd be much more comfortable for you to have his way with him once you returned home, out of public eye. the car home was quiet, except for some light music. he'd reached for your hand sometime during, and your hands have been on his thigh since then, fingers intertwined, dangerously close to his very obvious bulge. you must've noticed, there's no way you wouldn't have. the moment the car was turned off and you both made it inside your home he dragged you to the couch, sat you on his lap, and kissed you with energy he didn't know he had, the wine he'd drank earlier making his head buzz,

"you just had to look at my thighs and get hard didn't you, hm? couldn't help yourself?" you cooed at him, eyes giving him a look that made his dick twitch, lashes low and long,

"i'm sorry mommy, you're just so pretty," he moaned into your lips, wanting to feel every part of you that he could in that moment, he slipped into subspace so quickly, he was such a cutie. if you could, you'd save the image of his adorable face right now; swollen lips, pink cheeks, eyes hooded,

"hmm..what do you say we do about this then?" mentioning his hard dick, he started rubbing against your panties, his jeans rough against the fragile fabric. he could already feel the wet spot on his boxers, as well as your own seeping through his jeans. he moaned when you started grinding down on him in return, with you whispering how much of a good boy he was, how he was only yours and that nobody else could have him, soon your soft praises in his ear simply became too much, and without warning, he lit himself slip. and oh, you noticed,

"did my kitten just cum from a little humping?"

"mommy i'll do better i promise! i-" jun panicked, worrying about his mistake (which wasn’t considered one to you),

"shh, you don't need to apologize, pretty boy. you're adorable, you know that?" you smiled down at him lazily, loving how his pink cheeks darkened even further, "wanna take this to the bedroom?"

"yes please," he nodded, eyes never leaving yours, making you give him a quick kiss before taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom, before asking him to sit on the bed, taking off his clothes and discarding them on the floor before removing your own as well. you hastily kissed him, need overcoming your body as he returned the kiss with the exact same energy, perhaps even more. as you made out for who knows how long, you felt your wetness seep down your thighs, some dripping onto jun’s too. he must’ve noticed, as he gathered some on his fingers before putting those said fingers inside of you, catching you off guard. you bucked your hips slightly before getting used to the new pleasure, soon you were getting close, too close. you gently took his wrist and pulled his fingers out of you, “what’s wrong?”

“nothing junnie, just wanna finish with you,” you gave him a kiss, him chasing after you when you pulled away, making you giggle. when you slid on top of him, he let out the cutest moan, making you shove your slick panties in his mouth on impulse, jun letting out another moan at the taste, “my pretty whore,” it had slipped out, but when it did, you couldn’t help but notice how his dick twitched inside of you and how his hands on your waist trembled in the slightest. you figured you had tortured him enough bu staying still for so long, so you started riding him at a slower pace, making him moan at the sudden stimulation, feeling the sensitivity lunge at him,

“mommyyy,” jun whined out, his hips bucking up at the feeling of you clenching around him,

"yes, junnie?" you whispered softly as you pressed a kiss to his hair,

"mommy i'm so close, can i cum please?" he whimpered, his hands squeezing at your waist, his eyes had glazed over, tears pooling. the sight made a shiver ride up your spine, and you pressed yet another kiss to his nose,

"wait a little for me pretty boy," which made him desperate to get you to cum so he could as well, he occasionally bucked up his hips and traced circles over your clit, making you jump just the slightest bit, "my lover boy's so impatient, isn't he? hm? so eager to make me cum so he doesn't have to wait?"

"yes mommy, i can't hold it much longer please let me cum mommy!" he cried out, tears flowing down his cheeks, nose sniffling slightly,

"yes pretty boy, you can cum my love. you've done so good for mommy," you pepper soft kisses all over his face before finally stopping at his lips as you cum together, jun moaning into you as his dick twitches, as you ride through your orgasm and help him through his, you press one final kiss to his forehead, "i love you junnie,"

"i love you too mommy," he whispered into your neck, but soon said, "can we go clean up now?" making you laugh breathily and get up to go clean yourselves, smiling the whole way.

---

© guavagyu 2023. all rights reserved. plagiarization, reposting, translating, and/or rewriting ANY and ALL of my works is prohibited.

[kissitbttr]

TJANK FUCKING GOD YOURE TALKING ABOUT THE R@PE SHIT IN THIS FANDOM. I'm actually in disbelief of how often it's being written. And I get the whole 'dont like, then scroll' and whatever, but when I open up my dash/tags and the first FIVE FUCKING FICS are r@pe fics???? And there's more every day, by the same, but also newer writers??? Wanna know what that is? Normalization. There's one blog on here that's so so so bad for it. And honestly, I get darker content, and I get the interest in rape from a psychological and conditional aspect, but that is when it's being taken seriously. These writers on here? Yeah, they're not fucking taking it seriously. If I see one more '💕🌷🎀' on a r@pe fic, I'm going to fucking lose it.

I can't imagine showing a survivor of SA one of these fics and telling them there is more like it. Like... How embarrassing. But the excuse is that the writers were SA'd and that this is the way they can work through their trauma. Personally, that literally does not add up to me. But! I'm not a psychologist so I can't dictate how someone works through their trauma. But, I can have an opinion on what they put on a public domain. And that's where the whole COD fandom issue lies. There is literally no healthy discourse. If you ask someone why they write about r@pe, they either block you, publicly slander you like you're the idiot for asking about a r@pe fic (???), or tell you to fuck off or something. Like... Why can't we just have a healthy discussion about it?? ESPECIALLY in a fandom with a pretty large female following. We SHOULD be talking about this not being hostile to each other, writers and readers alike.

Idk, sorry for the word dump. I spent four hours talking to a friend about this (who doesn't have Tumblr) and the general consensus was the same. I wish people could just think a little more critically. Just because you have a kink, or think somethings hot, doesn't always mean it's okay. And when you're consistently writing about it as a way to work through it, and posting it online, that just might be a sign that you should talk to a professional, cause there's nothing wrong with getting a second opinion.

took the fucking words outta my mouth babe. you are so RIGHT

tbh i never seen someone actively open about their trauma and say that they write the r*** fics as a way for them to cope. that’s definitely new to me. i mean, i’m no expert too and i can’t exactly say and tell them how to feel but yea that’s a little… bizarre. whether or not they’re using that as an excuse so they can write it i have nothing to say abt that. but if it’s a lie then they can go fuck themselves.

it’s not only this fandom i believe, right? there’s gotta be more and that’s the most fucked up thing about it. like i do not need to know you’re some mentally fucked individual who enjoys writing and reading about r*** content, u keep that shit to yourself. do not bring that bullshit here.

it’s pretty saddening to know that telling ppl to fuck off is their only response. which makes me realized that they are only good for one thing. how could you not have any ounce of decency in you to actually be aware of those things and realize that r*** is not okay and will never be okay?? I don’t care what’s the excuse or whatever reasons u want to bring to the table. if u don’t wanna talk about how r*** takes the joy out of a SA victim and leave a permanent scar in which they have to live with everyday, then there is no point in writing them at all.

and also, you know what saddens me more? the blogs that normally write them comes from women. because, man… you should’ve known better… you should’ve known that no woman on earth could ever live in peace knowing that one exact fear is the reason why we are so terrified of going out alone. why we are so terrified of men. why would you ever go out your way and change these beautiful characters to be some sort of evil spawn ?? weird ass bitches.

don’t be sorry for the word dump!! because i’m glad that some of you came into my inbox and expressed your thoughts about this particular bullshit.

they do need to get some help. and i mean this in the most nicest and disrespectful way possible tbh.