#i dont want to care if she's ok i dont want to want to know i dont want to be curious i font want to know if he thinks i just | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brucewaynehater101 · 2 days

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Have you ever watched the show Durarara? If not that's OK, you dont need any back ground lore about it for this au, I was just using the kind of creature that Celty is as an inspiration.

Back near the end d of Dick being Robin, a strange phenomenon started, a rumor you could call it. Some nights when the caped crusader and his side kick were out on patrol, a strange figure would appear following them but it's clear that it was no human. It was tiny, sized like a child and acting almost like one too. Except for the fact it was missing its head and the stump bellowed thick black smoke that hid any gore from view. Very few ever saw it and those who did claimed it was the spirit of someone that the Dynamic Duo were unable to save.

During Jason's time as Robin, the strange being was sighted less and less as it followed the pair around. It still clearly followed them often but it became better and better at stealth. The pair certainly never got a glimpse of it, other than one time. Jason was unexpectedly separated from Batman while fighting Mister Freeze and found himself following the sound of something hitting the ground. When he rounded the corner, he found what looked like a kid laying on a dumpster like they had fallen off the icy fire escape. That is, until it stood to it's full height and he realized whatever this was *it has no head*. The thing stared at him in silence and though it had no eyes, Jason could feel it's gaze upon him, pinning him in place. Then it ran and by the time Jason snapped out of it and followed, the creature was long gone.

When Tim first appeared to Bruce and Dick, demanding to be Robin, they didn't know who he was due to him wearing a motorcycle helmet and using sign language. He claimed that he had to keep it on due to "medical reasons" and that it "filters regular air into something safer to breath". All Tim is willing to tell the Bats about it is that the same incident that left him unable to breath without filtered air caused serious harm to his vocal cords so he can't speak anymore.

Bruce is... worryingly ok with not knowing who the kid is or what he looks like. After all, it means there's less for him to get attached to. Plus Tim can't scream at him and if Tim tries to lecture him, he can just turn his head away. Though he doesn't because that means Tim pulls out the Air Horn. This means that both Dick and Bruce only know Tim as Robin for quite a while and by the time either of them feel bad enough about that to do anything about it, it would be so rude to admit that they don't even know his *name*. Surely he told them at some point and they just forgot, right?

Tim likes that they don't know anything about him. It makes things much, much easier. After all, they can't learn about and then *care* about the fact that he doesn't exactly know where his head is if they don't know it was taken. Well, he *sort of* knows where it is! It's somewhere on the grounds of Drake Manor! It's not his fault that his built in Head Locator got messed with by his mom due to the jar she put his head in! She only hid it because she doesn't want anyone else to take it, ok? He can still track it to an about 1000 feet across area! That's pretty damn close. Besides, it's definitely safer to be Robin without one. After all, do you have any idea how many concussions he avoids by simply Not Having It With Him? So many. So very, very many.

Only a few of the rouges know that Tim doesn't have a head via them forcefully removing the helmet. The few who have done it claim that Robin is some kind of monster and the helmet keeps him whole. Well, in their defense, Tim did start spewing black smoke everywhere when it got removed!

The first of the Bats to know that Tim isn't human is Jason during the Titans Tower attack. At some point, Jason wanted to see the fear in his replacements eyes so he ripped off the helmet and froze at the sight. His replacement had no head. His replacement. Had. No. Head. Tim takes his chance to knock Jason away and stops holding back, using his thickened smoke to blind him and then allowed the strands of dark energy to tie him up like a spider web. Jason managed to break free and fled the tower with the strange strands of black energy chasing him out as Tim stood still right where he was left.

Jason quietly wonders why and how Bruce managed to recruit the Thing that haunted his nightmares after he saw it looming over him from atop a dumpster.

Tim edits the footage of the tower security so that it all goes dark when the power does so that none will see what he did. What he is.

I have watched the show, but it's been so long since I've seen it that I've forgotten everything :(

However, your AU is super rad!

I'm curious if Tim has any other powers related to being a dullahan or if a motorcycle enhances anything (if it's treated like a horse). The black fog effect was a neat power and I so want to hear more.

Particularly, I'm curious about Bruce and Dick's reactions, how it affects Jason's grudge against Tim, and whether Tim's status affects Damian. I hc that Alfred is some type of creature too (that's why he seems to live forever), and has been silently helping Tim with whatever special needs the kid may have (not that Tim knows). Bruce suspects Alfred is something but doesn't know the details and doesn't want to anger the older man by asking.

Perhaps Jason, due to his revival status, is also some type of creature. I'm hcing a wraith or a similar being. Due to dullahan's dealing with death, maybe Tim and Jason have some sort of dynamic there (like Tim can always tell when Jason is close by like a sixth sense or something).

As far as Tim's head, does he start to freak out when his mom dies and he realizes he has no clue where it actually is? To add on, how does he do school or public appearances as Tim Drake?

#dc comics #tim drake #dc universe #thank you for the ask!!!!#dc au #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth

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yuwuta · 1 month

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yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always.

#atp i need to shut and write the omega verse fics that consistency plague my mind #but while im here time for my obligatory megumi mention bc i mentioned dogs teehee #yes megumi attack dog hes megumi grumbly yes megumi bark bark bite bite BUT BUT BUTTTT #megumi is also used to like... hm........ taming? having? caring for? people in his life and also literal (divine) dogs #so for him yes he bites and barks #but he also... he gets confused if YOU dont follow him around like a puppy bc everyone else in his life has so why not you?#gojo's always been the annoying yapping pomeranian chewing on his arm even if he didn't ask #always in megumi's space even tho he didn't ask but he learned to deal with it #won't admit it but knows that too much attention is better than having someone who couldn't give a shit about you #yuuji is the golden in everybody's life and megumi is no exception #unmovable unshakeable and incredibly addictive even if he doesn't mean to be #and very very attached to the people he cares about so yeah yuuji is loud and annoying but he's also loyal and megumi respects that so fine #nobara is like... she decided she liked megumi and was upset about it so she bit his ankle and he tried to kick her off but she has too muc #pride to get shaken off by someone as scrawny as megumi and somewhere along the way megumi became impressed that she was still there even i #it hurt a bit and she was a little rough it's not like he was worse so fine whatever she can stay too #so if you like... if you dont hover around megumi if you dont pry if you dont prod then he has to be the dog smh #now he's gotta bite for your attention and nudge you and how annoying. he's gonna keep doing it tho. as long as he has to #or until you learn to fall in line and accept your leash too whichever comes first n e way.... anyway.............#somebody's pampered omega always gets what he wants megumi complex is showing......#this was about yuuta right? ok i'll put his tags now....#juju #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader

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dungeons-and-dragon-age · 2 months

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Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)

#lay rambles #my ocs #oc: liam hawke #oc: lilian hawke #both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it #theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences #with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever #they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key #and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever #hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do #mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself #(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently)#so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc #also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house #(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol)#also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space #he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet #always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like #food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind #and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them #(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc)#lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies)#but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa #dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever #however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults #also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt #not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself #oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages)#also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse)#...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD

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gwenlena · 2 months

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people who complain about people singing at concerts are so annoying if you only want to listen to the artists thats what listening at music at home is for. concerts are a social experience you go there to be with other people who like the music as much as you do, you dont get to stop them enjoying it because you dont know what a concert is

#i think people like want to pretend its just them and the artist but like thats not why you go to a concert youre missing the point #there is no greater joy than screaming song lyrics with a bunch of strangers #this seems to be more of an issue with like. those ~aesthetic~ types of people people who are into rock dont care #but like the mitski subreddit was so annoying when her tour was announced it was full of people saying to not sing along #which is just very sad u know #also because i was watching a boygenius concert video and the comments were full of people making fun of one girl in the audience #for singing loudly and not being able to carry a tune #like ok she paid a lot to be there and ur watching it for free on youtube you can keep those opinions to urself #if you dont want to hear other people judt STREAM THE SONG #anyway #im seeing mitski this month i hope everyones chill OSLSJ

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cryptid-condor · 2 years

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prayer for the forgotten

click to admire the stitches on his pants (also i would love some concrit if you have the time)

#hiiiiiiii #Adventure of Link #linked universe #linkeduniverse #LU Hyrule #ok its done we're good #i hope hylia is actually recognizable at several points i was worried she was too obscured by the ivy and cracks and whatnot #i dont actually know how to paint backgrounds or clothes so this was fun #i CAN paint grass though i really like painting grass #maybe actually planning and using references would make my layouts look better #but WHO CARES #i do :')#this drawing went through an insane thumbnail period though #i wanted to do a closeup character portrait until i sketched the kneeling pose and i was like YEAH THAT #it looked kinda weird that he was kneeling at nothing so it turned into a huge full drawing #all my rat

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c-kiddo · 7 months

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↖️ it became unwell thinking about calliope and caduceus again . that one like 6 minute conversation in ep 130 . deeply unwell from it . when caduceus told calliope: "I don't think I'm coming back. And I'm not okay with it, but I'm making peace with it. If there's a way for my body to get back here, I'd be very grateful, but there's every possibility that that won't happen. I'd like my name somewhere if I'm-- if there's nothing to bring back. That would be a comfort." and also "And I want you to take care of everybody. And especially, I want to make sure you take care of yourself, and don't, don't get locked up here on my account. Your job is to get everyone situated and then make sure that you find whatever destiny you're supposed to have. I don't think you're supposed to be here. Not forever."

#the destruction that did to my emotional wellbeing #kiddo say #rattling bars at how little interaction there was between them because i love the dynamic so much . such deep understanding and trust #but just like. that little hint of resentment . but also solidarity #in that they need to do their roles to take care of everyone else. and they both kind of hate that the other got to leave (first calliope #and then caduceus saved them) and that wasnt meant to be their roles so they dont know how to feel #and caduceus wants to stay home and he wants to leave and he wants to make sure calliope can leave but he doesnt know if he'll #come back so that she can . and i just . dies.#i did a drawing i rly like of them . and maybe ill listen to my playlist .#ok anyway goodnight

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lokh · 1 month

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oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios

#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate #and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back #but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much #(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in #<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort #of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers #to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl #anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view #maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him #diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is #they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him #and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real

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moeblob · 3 days

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Anyway they can change between being tiny and human sized. And when they're tinier they can only be seen by the other fae or their selected humans. So if you just passed Noll on the street while Shavuli was perched on his shoulder chatting away you wouldn't see or hear her.

#my characters #a lot of the fae who are trying to get noll to pick a human take turns joining him as he wanders if he opts to be human sized #if he opts to be small and fly around none of them can actually find him to follow bc he does it precisely to be alone #and makes careful to avoid all of them when he dips #which furthers their friendly obsession with him being their void like where is he we lost him we gotta go bring him back from the abyss!#and hes just off on his own being crippled by anxiety at being a disappointment bc what if he isnt fun enough #absolutely unaware that all his friends are like we gotta go find him hes too good at this #hes going to win the game we have clearly set up to involve humans before he even recruits a human #cause he is TOO GOOD at slipping away ITS NOT FAIR we love him what a weird fae thats our lil guy!#noll really is just out there impressing all of his friends and not knowing hes impressing them bc hes too scared of being abandoned #and i was telling rae but when he does find the human he wants as his for the game #hes like ok so im gonna be honest here i turn into a big sword and you are definitely not going to be strong enough to carry me #and the human just like ok then pick someone else?#and hes like no no i cant you dont get it youre resourceful and im resourceful THEREFORE! i have an idea! just for us!#and then proceeds to shatter himself into shards basically #so that the human can have many smaller easy to control swords rather than one too big sword #and when all of the other fae see it they are absolutely delighted bc they didnt know he could do that! thats so cool! wow! they love him s #and he doesnt tell them that it actually really flippin hurts and being broken is agonizing but he wants to win so badly #anyway hello appreciate the void fae noll and his lil buddy shavuli who can turn into a spear C:#in her human form though she loves to wear hoodies instead of just like .... a skin tight suit with draping fabrics #she does wear biker shorts bc leggy.... she likes to have legs free #but she likes hoodies a lot

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simcardiac-arrested · 13 days

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no actually I’d like to hear your thoughts on the isat ending

Like i said it felt really tropey and by that i meant that it’s just Everything Good Happens forever and…..that’s it ? like idk we were building up to this huge catharsis sort of thing and then we got to it and it was so sudden and not a good payoff and just kind of nothingburger of an ending . the fact that everyone just forgives siffrin bothers me, or at least the fact that they don’t confront them about the shit they’ve said and done. call me a mental illness villainizer but i think if you’re a fucking asshole and doing the most insensitive things to the people you care about then hey, i think those ppl have a right to fucking tell you off for it. likeeee idk being at your lowest point …… not an excuse …. not feeling it chief ……. like sure the message is to move past your mistakes or whatever but ? that doesn’t mean just getting away with it ??? and i just really don’t understand Why everyone forgives him. honestly at the end of the day the ending is just one problem, the root of which are the characters. everyone feels like trope cardboard cutouts. oh, this is the smart one. this is the smol bean. this is the himbo. and they all care for each other btw. Did u hear that? they all care for each other. we’re not really going to explain to you why these people are so close or what they went through together but just trust me man they’re sooo found famy. like …. okay. i’ve played 30 hours of this game and not once did i buy that any of the characters really cared about each other. like??? why???? You’re telling me everyone super cares about siffrin even though they barely know them?? you’re telling me siffrin cares about everyone sooo much even though he never even bothered to find out their problems before ? Wat ? and this just breaks the ending more because literally whyyy do these people care about him so bad. and then it’s just whyyy does siffrin Have to tell them anything he doesn’t even seem to know them that well. everyone feels like colleagues and Just Friends at best. and so the ending just seems really forced. like it was written by that type of tumblr user who’s always talking about aww why does the found family have to break up after the end of the journey :( which is like fiiiiine. i guess. but u guys know that u have to build up to it right?? you can’t just tell me they’re Family Members(tm) 102829 times and that they super care about each other source: trust. you can’t just do that and then expect me to believe it ….. It feels unearned. the ending feels unearned and i don’ttttt understand what i’m supposed to take away from it . that it’s ok to fuck people up because you’re traumatized and insecure?? that you have to talk about your deepest problems with people you barely know??? i just dont know. Like i said if im being honest the problems with this game’s writing are more than just the ending, it just stands out so much because there’s a lot of build up and then just …… That

#honest to god if you want a Good Example of a story like this just look at dungeon meshi #we start the story from the end of the characters’ journey. they all don’t know each other very well and they’re just working together #hell they don’t even like each other that much. And then as the story develops and they go through their journey we get to see them bond and #get closer and fight and make up and admit they care about each other and still be mad at each other #nobody even gives a fuck about laios at the beginning of the story but by the end of it they’re all willing to die for him. THAT feels #earned. when marcille super fucks up and everyone tells her off for it but still wants to just make sure she’s ok That feels earned #like honest to god i’d take marcille’s arc any day than whatever’s siffrin going on #i just feel like this game suffers from a chronic Tell Dont Show syndrome. we get old over and over again that these characters are close #told*#and that they care about each other. And that’s just ….. not a way to write a story ………#when all the characters exist just to comfort the Whump Main it’s like how am i supposed to get invested. in any of this #u know when the dev replied to someone who was asking them how to write a story and they just said ‘glue your fav tropes together until it #becomes a story’? Well i think that is isat’s main problem. it’s not really a story. it doesn’t really have characters #it’s just a bunch of tropes in a trench coat. And let me tell u that is notttt how you make a story. at all. at all #anyways this was supposed to be about the ending but this story just has so many inherent problems i could critique it forever🤷‍♂️ my badddd #it’s fun as a game and it’s Fine as a story but at the end of the day it just reads like fix-it fanfiction to me #which is not Bad on its own but i wish people would at least recognize how the story is kind of built on sticks #cramswering

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stealingpotatoes · 11 months

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Honestly Mace would have loved Luke and Leia with his whole heart.

yes!!! honestly he's like a grandparent (in the dynamic way, not age way) bc he was harsh on anakin but you KNOW he's much more caring for the twins, like how a grandparent is strict on their kid but gives their grandkid literally whatever. and anakin's like where was this for me

#i've never drawn anything for it but i think about AUs where anakin's caught or killed n rots is stopped a lot #and then the jedi take the twins and are Too Careful and the twins just Know theres smthn off abt them but dont know what it is #and all the difficulty padme faces bc the jedi fucked anakin up!! she doesnt want them having her kids!!!! the last she has left of Him!!#but whats she supposed to do about her illegal-kids-of-an-evil-jedi against an ancient order backed by the senate and law #and you have obi wan torn between wanting whats best for the galaxy (the twins are carefully trained)#vs wanting whats best for his friend and tbh his brotherwhatever's memory (padme keeps the twins)#very aggressive jedi vs human conflict for him #theres just SO MUCH in those kinda AUs #bit hard to draw to explain tho. like u gotta draw so much for context so ive never rlly tried #but i think abt mace and his relationship w the twins there sm bc you KNOW he wants to treat them coldly and w constant suspicion #but he Just Can't #cause ya know. their dad. went evil. and theyre also INSANELY POWERFUL force users #thanks for the ask!#wow ok went off in the tags abt an au nobody asked for <3 #gotta get it out my head somehow ig

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oatbugs · 26 days

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the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart

#yesterday on the study they said they were dating two others and it was going well and i cant imagine fucking you but #you have great tits. they got upset at me not inviting them to a party. my research partner told me to write a 1000 word essay on why they #should come. they spoke about how much they wanted theiir ex and they wouldnt tell me much about who theyre dating bc #they thought i still had feelings for them which. god. theyre right but the assumption is so arrogant #the streams r rly beautiful im walking to a date and shes gorgeous and some of my friends know her but i look #exactly like ive slept on my friends floor for the past few days so . aaa anyway #god after that whole call i just felt so deflated like i felt over it but now its all . back. like seeing them being happy w smn else #inflicts active misery upon me which means ii think im becoming a worse person bc of them. i called my friend and i just . idk i walked home #i kept wanting to weep but . woah the sun is so pretty #there are petals and dandelion seeds floating in the air #med school students walking to their lectures #she does biochem btw. the person im meeting now #there are two butterflies dancing together. i cant make this shit up the past few days have looked like actual heaven #ive spent them being on survival mode and not even bc of my studies like ok focus on log functions while the person kn the screen #tells u abt how if her ex were to call shed fold immediately and the new girl is a singer and its going well and maybe ill tell you #more abt it in a few months. SO YOU KNOW IT HURTS ! SO WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOUD MAKE OUT W ME AT THE CLUB WHY WOULD U FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO #ME WITHOUT CLOTHES ON ! WHY WOULD YOU CARESS YOUR OWN SKIN LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR !!!!#anyway im like . sane.#i just . felt like it was over #i realised i kept seeing ppl who i thought were more attractive etc etc than her bc i needed to prove to myself #that im attractive enough to be liked or that i can be liked at all and a part of me wanted to prove it to them too #its just a horrible mindset to have and yh not only do they not care but they also bring out the worst in me actively like . I DONT KNOW #BUT THEN WHO ELSE KNOWS THAT THE GOLDEN HOURS IN TEHRAN ARE PINK AND LILAC WHO GOES TO TECHNO RAVES AT THE BASE OF DAMAVAND #WHO CAN PIN YOU AGAINST A WALL LIKE THEM !!!#anyway #standing up it just feels so #exhausting #like this the most exhausted ive felt from all this ever

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softshuji · 1 month

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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.

#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting #married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i #said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with #a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive #ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could #talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed #i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man #and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in #front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love #or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than #they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw #im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the #kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off #somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it #and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already #and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone #else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit #and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these #decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.

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moonlit-orchid · 1 month

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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

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fuzzbuns · 2 months

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Arlecchino discourse is really awkward because both sides are so convinced they are right and that the other side just lacks media literacy but 9 times out of 10 the take in question is also wrong and it leaves me scratching my head a little bit….

#fuzzy rambles #like either they are like ‘no she is bad and doesnt care for the kids at all’ or its ‘she is good actually and does care for the kids’#and for me its like… damn…. its actually a little more complicated than that but ok ig #saw someone say she doesnt care for freminet or lynette she just uses them as pawns for lyney to be her heir #which is so incorrect on almost every level #it’s basically a self report that they dont know freminet or lynettes relationship with arlecchino #like i think we can agree raising child solider is problematic or whatever while not painting everything she does as master manipulation #like the things ppl claim are just her 5000 level iq manipulation… rolling my eyes it doesnt even make sense #but at the same time she obviously isnt a saint who has everyones best interests in mind because they are still childe soliders #even tho things got better when she took control there is still a lot of cultish and cruel behaviors the kids get drilled into them #tho honestly the whole fatui is like that look at any of the recurits who arent from the orphanage and they are equally brainwashed #if not us than who or whatever (girl who thinks about what happened in the chasm and want to eat drywall)#idk. dont yall have parents? like u can love and care for a child and still suck as a parent #you can try to not become ur abusive mother and still turn into a monster of sorts #ignore the childe instead of child its literally muscle memory how embarrassing

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trans-ylvania · 10 months

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MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE + BOYGENIUS

probably the most self-indulgent thing on this blog, but here's my compilation of all the mcr/gerard/ray/frank/mikey + boygenius/lucy/phoebe/julien interactions i can find (non-chronological + feel free to add on!):