#i dont want to limit comments but maybe i should

[toruvi]

Hiii, I know you get a lot of messages about paychecks and some are rude and pressuring, but I want you to know that most of us are excited for it to be updated, but are happy to wait so you can release work you are happy and proud of 💕

I hope your doing well, I know school is tough (I’m there with you, genetics is killing me, I may already be dead) but you got this (:

We love you and you simply being here and sharing tidbits of your life and thoughts is something I look forward to~

thank you i really appreciate this. honestly i have so much anxiety surrounding paychecks i feel like im under a microscope LOL fskdljfksdl it's really difficult to write when a bunch of my Levi mutuals are inactive…there's nothing airing and i'm just dealing with a bunch of irl stuff i dont talk about on here. i know the fandom isnt dead but it's slowed down soooo much.

i dont think people understand how hard it is to get ideas/have inspo for content that isn't there anymore??? like sure we're getting official art but if i'm being real it's nothing exciting?? i know ill get more inspo when the season starts airing.

i shared so much of next chapter and a tiny part of me thought that maybe it'd stop the weird comments/questions but no JKHDFGJKGH (dont get me wrong i mainly shared it bc everytime i typed a sentence i got excited lol). but i feel like people think i'm trying to be…idk…professional??? about paychecks?? it's just something i do to pass the time. i'm not a writer, i dont want to BE a writer. i just do it to escape and i like sharing it with people who enjoy the little au i've made up. i dont make a schedule anymore bc the second i feel like it's a chore im going to abandon it. the dates are always estimates but shit happens aaaaa

ive JUST started writing it again and looking at the documents. and then i get weird pushy comments (not even referring to the previous ask specifically but in general, there's a lot i dont answer.) and i just lose motivation all over again. yes, i should ignore it but i'm not used to..interacting??? on this capacity?? its just a lot idk sORRY I TOTALLY RANTED….ANYWAY THANK U FOR BEING NICE <3

[lunar-fey]

[antimony-medusa]

hi saw your daddy kink post discussing the phenomenon of giving grown characters surrogate parental relationships, and I understand where you’re coming from, but i really feel like it’s just a matter of the circles you run in, and the assumptions that you might make because of that. you mention how platonic reads of these dynamics are more uncommon than kinky reads, which i just don’t think is the case, and I think that arguing that people don’t even realize that they’re writing a kink is a little bit bizarre, and sort of assumes that you know more abt them than they do by projecting your own experiences onto them.

it isn’t inherently sexual to crave protection or a parental relationship that you may have missed out on, and it is certainly not universal. in my own family, my “grandpa” isnt my biological grandfather (nor do I really consider him to be my grandfather), but he’s my mother’s surrogate father and has been since she was in her twenties. an adult. he sees her as a daughter. she sees him as a father. there’s absolutely nothing kinky about it. and anybody who automatically assumes that must have their mind deep, deep in the gutter and/or the stranger side of the Internet. really, i find it a bit of a strange argument to randomly post in the first place—as if it’s a problem that so many people enjoy non romantic and non sexual relationships, and that these people must, in fact, have a daddy kink that they are unaware of.

that said, i do absolutely agree that fans bringing any part of that into phil’s chat is weird and they should Not do that, and that infantilizing characters is also very weird, and personally i dont even see him as being father figure to anybody on that island except his eggs, wilbur, and MAYBE an argument could be made for tubbo (which other cc’s on the island have joked about), but to each their own and all that.

sorry this is so long. TLDR, i get where ur coming from in terms of “warning , some people might read your stuff differently than you want here” but really not everything is a kink and paternal dynamics can easily happen in regards to adult characters, particularly young adults, without there being any inappropriate connotations. i know nothing i said will change your mind, obviously it’s set, but ykno diff perspectives and all that. hope ur doing well

Thank you for the ask! I see you were on mobile, I believe. :D I am also going to push the character limit with this response, I fear.

I agree that it isn't inhernetly sexual to go after a parental relationship that you missed out on, and there are many such cases. I'll even go so far as to say that it's not inherently kinky to go after a parental relationship that you missed out on, because there is such a thing as non-sexual kink, and heaven knows that MCYT writing is full of non-sexual kink. Lots and lots of stuff that is platonic that is kinking on fear, or being drugged, or kidnapping, or hypnosis, or familial relationships, etc— there's lots of people who aren't doing that. There are tons of people out in the real world (and in fiction), who are simply just expanding their family as an adult, and that's awesome. When I was in college there was this older couple who kind of adopted me and invited me over for thursday dinner, and they were awesome. There was nothing untoward going on there.

But look. I am an emduo fan who likes to see my guys be murdery, and because of that, I've ended up reading a bunch of Dark SBI. I've ocassionally gone "this cannot be what everyone is doing" and I've read stuff tagged as "family fluff" that I find recommended. I am aware of where the genre is going, particularly with the rise of "dadbur" and "dadnoblade" interpretations.

And look, you have just got to trust me on this one. People are writing stuff that in any other fandom I would be recommending they put kink tags on the work so that people who liked that trope could find it and people who didn't like it would avoid it, but that comment in DSMP would just lead to people getting doxxed, so I just grit my teeth and go "i guess that's baked into Dark SBI or Tooth Rotting Fluff now, I sure hope that doesn't hit anybody's triggers".

Like I PROMISE you. The first draft of this response included excerpts of fics that I've read and I was like "can YOU pick the ship fic from the /p fics here"? But I have a horror of ever leading to someone getting cancelled on twitter, so nothing that could possibly be identifiable of these writers. But like—

Some of the ways that Tommy gets treated in the narrative are almost indistinguishable from a bodice-ripper romance. Some of the tropes being used— within DSMP we've all clasped hands and agreed to interpret it being platonic, but in any other fandom, you are going to start getting comments that you might not want to get. The tag is FULL of stuff that is DD/LB in everything but name. Maybe my mind is in the gutter here, but if you move out of this fandom, you are going to move into circles where a lot of people's minds are in the gutter, and you are going to get a very different response from your comments!

And I was talking about daddy kink here specifically, because I see that one come up a lot and it's gotten egregious lately, but this also applies to dehumanization, and fearplay, and predator/prey, and "instincts" (in every other fandom that's gonna get people in a mashup of A/B/O, Hypnosis, and sometimes Agere responding to it), and kidnapping/drugging, AND the way a bunch of "piglin instincts" stuff is just a BDSM au now where the Brute (dom) needs to be callmed down by their Runt (sub). The SBI tag is super kinky right now. And I don't have a problem with that idealogically, write your truth, but a) please don't bring that up in front of the streamers, b) if you move to another fandom you have got to be prepared that not everyone is doing their kink platonically.

Like I'm assuming that people don't know what tropes they're playing into, they're just building them from first principles, because the other alternative is that they are deliberately and knowingly writing kink and posting it in the & relationship tag with insufficient trigger tags, and I prefer to believe that people don't know.

I'm glad we agree about people bringing that into Phi's chat, or Pol's, or Luzu, or any of the other streamers that people have decided is So Old. A lot of people aren't comfortable even being assigned dad, as we saw with Felps, so bringing it even further is just— uh oh, no.

I do not have a problem with people liking non-romantic and non-sexual relationships. I find it a bit odd that much of the fandom can't concieve of a non-romantic and non-sexual relationship without making it familial and specifically lately father-son— don't you have close friends?— but I am fully in support of gen writing. I primarily write gen! I'm an avid commentor on gen fics!

But some of the tropes at play in the fandom are kinky, there is no way to avoid that. The fact that they are set in a familial relationship doesn't negate that. Some of the ways that the DSMP characters get treated would be distinctly non-familial if you ever brought it out of that context. And I am just warning people, if you bring it out of that context, be prepared for the response you get.

You cannot take DSMP tropes and apply them one-to-one in other fandoms, with other streamers swapped in, and expect them to be read the same way. Like i'm sorry, but that's just true. If you are posting the same sort of stuff that for Cellbit & Phil that you would post for Tommy & Phil, people will assume that you have a daddy kink, because usually when a relationship between a adults that are actually similar in age is refered to with paternal language it's a kink thing. That is how the broader internet works. (And anon, if I had a daddy kink, would I be complaining about the fact that I can open any SBI fic and have about a 40% chance of hitting it and I'm seeing signs of this appearing in QSMP? I assure you I'm not "projecting [my] own experiences onto them" here.)

[only-omo]

characters who "dont wet".

and by that i mean characters who always have enough bladder control that even when they are past their limit and urine is slowly dribbling down their legs, thats all it ever is. no forceful wetting, no "loss of control", not completely. just leaking every few minutes until they can hold it again. sometimes big leaks that immediately give them away (or dont, but now they cant move without being caught so), throwing those around them into a panic; sometimes smaller leaks that are easier to hide in terms of damage, but so much harder in terms of the strain it puts on their bladder to only let out so little

and it really is something special, because it can get to a point where their pants are notably soaked to the hems, maybe even a small puddle or two depending on if theyve been walking around, and theyre still squirming like mad, or trying not to, because this is damage that happened over the course of nearly an hour or more.

eventually if theyre with people someones gonna ask why they dont just give up already, theyve already fully wet themselves in terms of damage, and doing it this way is really doing nothing but causing way more damage than necessary. because at this point even if they wanted to hide it still - i mean, it is horribly embarrasing to consistently wet yourself over the span of an hour (or more) i think - its painfully obvious every time they leak, their clothes too soaked to absorb it quick enough, unavoidably leading to small-to-incredibly-messy puddles each time.

whether theyre able to answer the person or just stutter and get out not much more than "i dont know", they cant bring themselves to intentionally stop holding, despite the risks, and the only way to fully empty their bladder not at a toilet would be to intentionally choose to wet. so they keep "holding".

from here it will go one of two ways, either they finally get access to a bathroom, where they will likely suffer latch-key incontinence and finally fully lose control on the way from the door to the toilet, likely not able to do anything but maybe sit down to try to minimize mess, otherwise just staring as urine re-soaks their pants and gathers on the floor underneath them (and its obvious they re-wet, so they cant pretend they made it, potentially leading to comments from someone about why they bothered so hard just to not make it anyway, to their utter embarrassment). or they dont find a bathroom, and theres nothing they can do but keep trying to hold it.

now i know from experience that around this point you really do start to feel sick, but its in an exhilaratingly horrible way. your body starts to fight itself to the point where it actually changes your thought pattern. and not in the typical "ohmygodohmygodineedtopee" type of way that some people arent susceptible to, but in a strange way where the most logical thing in existence at that moment is that they should not be holding their pee, regardless of location, as if societal standards didnt exist, as if it truly didnt matter where they peed or what they were wearing when they did it. the way their bladder is so confused it cant do much but dully ache, no longer sharp or threatening leaks, but still the most pressing thing on their mind.

their bladder will actually shut their brain down, reverting them to basic instinct, and theres a good chance at some point their bladder will contract, and the only thing they can physically do is not only just let it out, but actively push it out as hard as they can, and if they could think it would feel intentional, the way their muscles are locked forcefully contracting as if almost by choice, completely negating the previous struggle of eventually regaining control; but they arent thinking, and that choice is more "dont die" than it is "wet myself".

obviously, its messy. its messy and its sudden, as they likely started to go despondent as the sickly feeling hit. its sudden, and its messy, and its loud. theyre not only just wetting themself, but pushing as if the urine was burning their bladder, and they have to get it out (not too far from the truth). trying not only to get out every last drop, but to get out the last drop as soon as possible. and there isnt any relief until a good minute or so after they finish, so theyre wetting with that full force, as if their bladder were still full, the entire time - which is likely a good minute or two, as despite everything theyve lost until now, their bladder was still mostly full - until it suddenly cuts off. it will get everywhere, and itll have everyones attention, and then itll be silent, aside from the light pattering of stray urine that hasnt yet reached the floor.

the most common response would likely be speechlessness, people arent used to bladders that can cause that much of an issue, even incontinent people usually just wet and get it over with.

and the wetters brain will only kick back on after theyre empty, though still in an almost daze of all the sensations and emotions. theyve been sitting in their slowly growing shame for at least an hour at this point so the social repercussions arent really hitting them (though they definitely will as the adrenaline drops), and theyre mostly focused on the stressful feeling of knowing that this must be horribly unhealthy, to end up feeling that way, and to just be primarily aware of the fact that they just totally pissed themself; more than they are anything that means, aside from that theyre soaked.

[ceasarslegion]

Maybe this is a bad take or whatever but theres this post going around that features a little boy in what looks like a martial arts tournament with a breathing tube in, and someone who looks like theyre part of the tournament is inspecting his oxygen tank. The caption says something like "whats your excuse?" And all the comments are pointing out how this is dangerous inspiration porn. I agree with that much, no one should expect disabled people to push themselves past their limits or use disabled people who choose to push themselves for THEIR OWN reasons to compare others against.

However, it rubbed me the wrong way when the comments devolved into people essentially saying that this kid being disabled means he shouldnt even be allowed to compete or do martial arts, and accusing his parents of forcing him to do it.

Here's the thing. I don't know what that kid has, I don't know WHY he needs oxygen, and I don't know WHY he's doing martial arts. And you don't either based on one internet image. You don't know what his situation is, or if his parents actually did force him into it or not. And that's some really vile shit to accuse parents of without knowing who they are, and weirdly presumptuous and I would argue ableist of you to turn around and take it to "he shouldn't do ANYTHING that requires physical exertion because he'll break in half actually."

For all you know, he could have a condition that needs extra oxygen but isn't going to hurt him if he does a very structured, rule-heavy, training-heavy, technique-heavy sport like most martial arts are. He could have wanted to it himself and gotten his doctor's approval and a treatment plan based around his lifestyle that HE chose. He doesn't exactly look unhappy in the image in question, he looks excited to beat the fuck out of you (in a respectful child-level martial arts tournament way). Besides, children's tournaments aren't exactly going to feature roundhouse kicks to the throat.

You're right that no disabled person should he expected to live up to these weird inspiration porn shit, but i dont like how this often devolves into comments that are one degree removed from "disabled people are made of porcelain and too fragile to do anything but stay inside all day every day forever." It's not just that post, it's one in a trend that annoys the shit out of me frankly.

[fedoraspooky]

In light of tumblr shooting itself in the foot, I've been thinking about what I should do with my art from now on. Obviously, deleting my old posts off here isn't gonna do shit, it's essentially locking my door after my house got emptied out by burglars. Especially with my old rp account I no longer can log into, they're just gonna steal and sell my old art that I posted there and I can't even flip a questionably-affective toggle about it.

Thing is, I dunno how many people are gonna actually leave. I'm not even sure I will, since I have a lot of friends here... And after so many shitty updates a lot of people are just hanging on out of spite at this point.

That said, I'm considering that for art posts and stuff, maybe I'll post them elsewhere and just link to them here so they're not on tumblr's servers? Idk... Tumblr tends to kill the visibility of links but I'm not really sure what else I can do.

Also, there's the question of where to actually post new stuff. Bluesky seems the most active but I dont know if old posts cut off after a certain amount of posts like twitter does, in which case that would not be a good archive in the long run. xnx

Cohost is functionally pretty close to tumblr, but ngl it seems super isolated on there bc of its commitment to not showing any likes on your posts. I get that its to combat the social media numbers game, but the downside is that it looks like nobody's even seen your work. If people like something of yours there's no way outside of notifs to see it, so scrolling down on your page and seeing only zeros after zeros of comments on stuff (comments are the only visible number), it's easy to feel like you're just posting into a void.

Pillowfort is pretty good, and they just added tag blocking and the ability to queue/schedule posts. Still kinda quiet and invite only, but if you sign up for the invite queue you can get one pretty fast. Also i probaby have a ton of invites sitting around if anyone wants one. I wish it had an app, but mobile web version works well enough I guess, and I'm already used to doing that with sheezy and newgrounds, so I just have those open in mobile tabs together.

Speaking of, Newgrounds has been pretty good, but due to the nature of the portal system and stuff you're more encouraged to post only your better-looking stuff there. You CAN post doodles if you want, but only outside of the portal, which limits their visibility. Kinda like dA's scraps system I guess.

Sheezy looks super promising customization-wise so I'm thinking of posting there more when it opens up to more peeps.

Toyhouse also looks really good for OC and story things too, and also has a good degree of customization.

There's probs options I haven't even thought about, but its good to know there ARE options. I may post in several of those places for now and see how it goes. Test the waters a bit.

If you're thinking of moving your art elsewhere lemme know where, I'm curious to see where people are going :o

Especially you moots, i need to refind my pals in these other places!

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Talks: Apologies and Forgiveness

I feel sorrow for what society has done with the concept of forgiveness. By basically removing it.

And I Despise what it has done to the concept of apologizing.

Look at social media, Apology videos are a genre of video at this point.

But the problem really comes down to two things.

1. People getting called out for old stuff that most people have already apologized for, jokes/ comments that were acceptable for the time, or just because someone had a differing opinion than the consensus. Nothing actually morally reprehensible.

2. People that DO/ have done awful stuff that should be called out dont appologize, do a fake/pseudo apology that is more “I’m sorry I got caught/ the mob is mad” instead of being genuine, OR the people in charge try to cover for the people that do because corruption.

What an apology is, it’s a person saying “Hey, I did something that was wrong, I realize I wronged you, I want you to know I acknowledge I wronged you, and I want your forgiveness in exchange for doing my best to never hurt you like that again.”

It’s an act of humility where you elevate the other person that you have wronged. When done right, it can help mend bridges. Now will those that genuinely apologize always be forgiven? Not always, it depends. Should people still apologize even if they aren’t forgiven? 100%. It is the bare minimum.

As for forgiveness, Forgiveness is something more people need to embrace. Holding a grudge, being continuously hung up on what someone did, holding that resentment. It does nothing for you but makes you miserable. Like drinking poison hoping the person you are angry at dies. This does not mean you aren’t allowed to be angry/hurt/ or sad. You need to address those feelings. You must first forgive yourself, and whether you tell the person that hurt you or not, you must forgive them.

Forgiveness is just as much for you as it is for those that wronged you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you let the people back into your life. That is reconciliation, that is something you decide to pursue mutually with another person.

Now to those reading this, that have gone through traumatic experiences. You ask, “How can I forgive X for what they have done?”

Maybe you can’t. But God can.

Forgiveness is Spiritual in nature. Even if our capacity for forgiveness is limited. The well of forgiveness God gives is infinite. It will not be easy, but to forgive it also takes humility just as apologizing does.

Now if you dont believe in God, then this aspect becomes a lot harder. I would even say impossible in some cases. But that is really a call you as a person have to make.

We’ve all messed up at some point, and we all need to address our mistakes and ask for forgiveness for those times, intentional or not. We need forgiveness to be better people. We need to let people who are genuinely sorry and want to be better feel they can try and do so. We need compassion, mercy, empathy and sympathy. We need a world where Forgiveness can be an option. We also need to forgive ourselves, Forgive yourself and then forgive others.

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

can maybe do one w the riven where reader is sky's little sister (so obviously off limits... right?!) and riven starts bickering w her w his usual snark and when she replies with equal snark he's stunned/in awe like yep, she's the one

absolutely I can. I have so many drabbles where the reader is sky's sibling omg! I mean it's amazing I'm not complaining, but y'all really seem to see him as a good brother figure

um. this is long. like really long. lmao (for a drabble ofc. idk if it'd deserve the title oneshot tho)

ALSO!!!!! MENTIONS OF GIVING HEAD. LIKE. EXPLICITLY. NO SMUT I DONT WRITE SMUT BUT WE ALL KNOW RIVEN

"Cig?"

Riven held his cigarette out to you with one hand, the pack in his other. You looked up at him from where you sat cross-legged on the ground opposite him and raised your eyebrows.

"Cig?", you mocked. "So that I can get lung cancer and die? No, thank you."

Riven laughed, put the pack away and lit his cigarette anyway. Admittedly, it was attractive, yes. But still very very bad for his health and he should definitely have stopped doing it long ago.

God, even when he'd come over for the breaks, he'd been smoking like all the time. So this conversation wasn't rare. Back then, you'd at least forced him to smoke outside, not in the house. Which had kind of worked.

"You won't die from one cigarette", he said, grinning at you.

"One of us is definitely gonna die though if you don't stop offering your goddamn cigarettes to me", you snapped, scrunching up your nose. "And it'd be nice if you just stopped smoking in close proximity to me, like, at all."

Riven rolled his eyes and leaned forward, elbows on his thighs, to get on the same level as you. This, if possible, was even more infuriating than his smoking. Because he was generally taller than you. And always did it. He always, always, always leaned down - you would have said he had some problem if you didn't know very well why he did it.

Because the first time he had leaned down - god, the very first time you'd seen him, standing there in the doorway next to Sky in his leather jacket, a cigarette in one hand and his bag in the other - you had forgotten what you'd wanted to say to him about his annoying habit of smoking. Actually, you'd forgotten how speaking worked entirely, and breathing right along with it, and you'd swallowed so hard and gone so weak in the knees that you'd almost tripped.

Now he wouldn't let you live that down. Ever.

"Why?", he grinned, interrupting your thoughts, bringing you back to the present (of him hovering close to you, as always). "You wanna kill me?"

"Or myself", you snorted, shoving all your feelings deep down. You would definitely rather kill yourself than admit any of the things you felt. Or what you imagined whenever you looked at him. He was your brother's best friend, god! Someone help you.

"Anyway", you said, clearing your throat and deciding then and there that you'd just ignore him glancing down at your lips for the rest of eternity instead of commenting on it like you usually had. Just that usually Sky was in the room as well, which made it much, much easier to hide your obvious attraction to this asshole. "Where's Sissy? I thought he said he was gonna come back 'in a second'?"

Riven laughed and shook his head slightly, only to lean forward even more. You had to will yourself to keep staring into his eyes.

"We should make the best of the time he's gone", he said, glancing down at your lips as you gritted your teeth.

"Riven", you said warningly.

It wasn't that he hadn't tried flirting before. He had. Often. Like, every time he had seen you. At first, it had seemed like he'd just wanted to piss off Sky (which, obviously, had worked), but by now he did it whenever you were alone, too. Which somehow, coincidentally, happened more often the longer you knew him. Of course it had made sense, at first, because you'd started Alfea, but after a while, it had become almost comical. Not that you didn't like spending time with him though.

"What?", he asked, pretending he didn't know what you were talking about.

"Riven", you said again, - sadly - already much softer. Dear lord, why couldn't you pull yourself together?

"Yeah?"

You bit the insides of your cheek and closed your eyes. Could he be any more obvious? It had become so irritably obvious over the last week that you almost felt embarrassed. Sky'd noticed too. Of course

"Riv, don't", you whispered. At this point he'd learned forward as far as he could without falling off the edge of his bed, but he was already close enough so that if you just moved a bit, you could kiss him.

You didn't particularly know why you didn't.

Because he was Sky's best friend? Because he was an asshole? Because he smoked? Because.... oh, you didn't know. Maybe all of it. Maybe none. Maybe you were just scared that this was a game to him, as everything was, just to piss Sky off, or just to be able to say he won. Maybe you were scared, yes.

"Your brother won't come back for another hour", Riven muttered, as if to coax you into finally giving in. You were close to. But that had nothing to do with what he said.

"Another hour?", you asked, frowning and opening your eyes again.

Riven must've realised that he'd killed the mood because he just sighed and fell back down on his bed. You were somehow both relieved and upset that he did.

"Look at your phone", he grunted, having gone back to smoking. You rolled your eyes but said nothing, only fished your phone from the bed behind you and unlocked it.

Sky had texted. He'd run into Bloom and would drive with her to your house, to get some old book.

Cool. So you'd waited here for him for nothing.

"Ass", you muttered and threw away the phone. You didn't have anything else to do anyway. So you just watched Riven smoke for a while.

Maybe you should just go and open the window. Maybe-

"I know I'm hot, but there's no need to stare", Riven said after a minute (which almost had you flinching, that's how immersed in your thoughts and watching him you'd been).

"I wasn't staring, you bastard", you argued, grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

"No?", he laughed, easily blocking your halfhearted attack.

"No. I just so... happened to be looking at you while I was zoned out. Idiot."

He put out his cigarette in the ashtray on his bedside table while you watched him with crossed arms, debating why you had not already left and pretending it was because there was nowhere you needed to be.

"Yeah?", he laughed. "And what were you thinking about? How good I looked?"

You snorted again. Not that it hadn't been like that, god, and how you had been thinking about that. But what were you gonna say? Yes? Definitely not. Sadly, just continuing to say no didn't work with Riven. He wouldn't let it go. So you sighed.

"How it'd feel to run my hands through your hair while you're eating me out", you said instead, trying your best to sound disinterested, not even looking at him.

He let out a breathy chuckle in surprise. You could barely conceal a grin. What was it again, that saying - honesty's the best lie? Something like that.

It wasn't even that you particularly had meant to say it. But with his constant jabbing and bickering and flirting, a retort like that had been looooong overdue.

"Were you?", Riven asked, grin apparent. You rolled your eyes at him.

"Of course not, dipshit", you snorted. "Like I'd ever let you eat me out."

He shook his head as he got out his pack of cigarettes, pulled one out and lit it.

"You should", he said, new smoke filling the room. Your nose scrunched up almost involuntarily. God, how many of those did he smoke in a day? Where did he even get the money? "I've been told I'm the best."

You rolled your eyes and finally got up, deciding you'd had enough of him for today.

"Sure", you said sarcastically. "And I've been told I'm the pope and just won the lottery. Get a new line."

You'd turned around, away from him, to collect your phone and your jacket from Sky's bed, and when you turned back, he'd stood up as well, pulling you close with his hands on your hips before you could even let out a sound of surprise. His lips were so close to yours that your gaze flickered down at them almost immediately. If you'd had the mental capacity, you would've scolded yourself.

"I could show you", he muttered, that damned grin on his face. You swallowed. And then again. And forced yourself to look into his eyes.

"Another time, maybe", you whispered, trying your hardest to make it sound ironic.

Riven leaned so far down that you could feel his breath on your skin. His fingers were digging into your hips firmly, but you were well aware that you could have moved. If you'd wanted to. Which you did not.

"Really?", he asked. "Now seems like the perfect time."

You closed your eyes as you tried to pick up the little pieces your mind had shattered into and puzzle them back together so that you could form a coherent sentence.

"Riv, we shouldn't", you whispered (it was the only thing you could think of).

"Why not?", he muttered. "Because you're Sky's little sister?"

You chuckled.

"That too."

For a second, he was silent. You dared to open your eyes again. He looked like he was searching your face for an indication of something.

"What else?", he asked, frowning.

You bit your lip. You weren't really going to tell him all the reasons why. You couldn't. How pathetic would it be if you started rambling about how you didn't think he was actually into you? God.

"Riv", you said instead, and trailed off. You just didn't know. You didn't know what to tell him.

"What else?", he repeated, now a little more forcefully. His fingertips digged harder into your hips. You took a deep breath.

No getting out now, was there?

"I just... It feels like you're not actually interested in me, you know? I'm scared you'll kiss me and I'll fall hopelessly in love with you while you move on with the next foolish idiot."

Here - your shovel, have fun starting to dig your own grave!

There should really be an advertisement that sold shovels like that.

Riven was so quiet for so long that you started worrying he'd somehow malfunctioned and turned off like a robot. Maybe the fact he hadn't yet dropped dead from all his cigarettes should have indicated that he actually was a robot.

Then he said your name, quietly, softly, almost, taking your chin in one hand and forcing you to look into his eyes again.

"I fucking despise those declarations of love", he said, somehow not sounding like he despised anything at all at the moment. "But you're basically forcing me to say it, so-" He took a deep breath. "You're not some game, okay? You're... I mean, you're funny, and you're stubborn, and you always have some retort to what I say. You're adorable when you try to resist getting close to me, like when your cheeks get red and your eyes blown wide like fucking Bambi. You're perfect, I just-"

He hadn't even finished when you'd suddenly leaned forward, surprising even yourself, and pressed your lips onto his.

He tasted of smoke. Which was disgusting. And if he wanted to kiss you in the future, he'd have to lay off the cigarettes, but for now, it was perfect. He was perfect.

"Riv", you muttered when you pulled back. He opened his eyes with a grunt. "Riv. If you compare me to Bambi one more time, I swear I'll drop you quicker than you can apologise."

Riven laughed, took one of his hands from your hips and put the cigarette back in between his lips. You raised your eyebrows. You hadn't even realised he'd still been holding it.

"Whatever you say, Bambi."

[prof-polaris]

With the way you respond regarding Sprite, when people say criticism, comments, or suggestions, you might need some of your own work with therapy with your anger outbursts or some coping skills. It feels so out of character of you, it's uncomfortable for everyone, including your kid. You clearly freak out Sprite by it or give it guilt. Maybe dont respond to them in the first place? Set an example you're a parent now, maybe respond without insane swearing and throwing petty insults when they are not showing any anger first.

you should take a breath before responding, Professor.

did you miss the part where they told me to chip my son, and then compared it to a feral pokemon? /genuine question

if there is genuine criticism, comments or suggestions, then i am more than willing to hear people out. like that anon yesterday that recommended me giving him little choices to make. i was doing that already so it was met with a bit of frustration which was a bit rude of me, i understand. i apologize for that. i am under a lot of stress right now but i like to think of myself as a reasonable person for the most part.

but to tell me to chip my son, and compare him to a feral pokemon?

for once in my life i think im allowed maybe a bit of anger.

...out of character for me. incredible. just because you haven't seen me upset before doesn't mean it can't happen. i may have a long fuse, but even calm people have their limits, anon. and my limit is the dehumanization of my son.

i don't want people to think that those are acceptable things to say.

i am in therapy. i am working on coping skills. i took a breath. i took many breaths. you all do not see every aspect of my life. i live a life outside of this account.

...honestly sometimes i feel like i should just retire this account, and only use the business one.

[blowflyfag]

WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION MAGAZINE: SEPTEMBER 1989

Transcript Below!!!

WE DONT CHEAT

“The Rockers Deny Illegal Double-Teaming”

By Ed Ricciuti

|| Jesse Ventura is convinced the Rockers illegally double-team. But they deny his allegations, stating they’re only in the ring for the permitted five-second time limit.||

WWF color commentator Jesse “The Body” Ventura said it for all to hear. The Rockers illegally double-team. That’s what Venture claimed repeatedly over WWF television.

WWF Magazine decided to look into Ventura’s accusation about Rockers Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty. After all, these two dashing young men have gained the admiration and affection of millions of fans. Michaels and Jannetty are known for their dazzling technical expertise, mind-boggling aerial dog fights and their own special brand of courage. With all this going for them, do they need to cheat? 

“We don’t cheat,” exclaims Jannetty. “We don’t have to cheat to win. Besides, that’s not our way. We’re not about to lower ourselves or set a bad example for our fans. Sure, there are instances when we both have to get into the ring even though only one of us should be there. But the only time that happens is when opponents break the rules and we have to brawl to protect one another and defend ourselves from serious injury. We don’t do that unless we’re pushed and have no choice. And you can’t blame us under those circumstances. We don’t start it.”

“I won’t call Jesse Ventura a liar,” adds Michaels. “But I will say that as far as what he says about us illegally double-teaming is concerned, he’d better get himself a pair of glasses. Then maybe he could see the truth. Speaking of the truth, Jesse Ventura ought to really tell it like it is when he gets to the Rougeaus (I won’t ever call them ‘Fabulous’). If he wants to complain about cheating, he should pay attention to what that pair of con men, those Ragus, do each and every time they enter the ring. And Ventura should watch their manager, Jimmy Hart, too.”

It’s obvious that the Rockers are riled up over Ventura’s comments. Especially since they have been the victims of incredible cheap shots by the Rougeaus and Hart. Even so, to be fair, WWF Magazine went to Jacques and Raymond Rougeau and the Mouth to get their side of the story. 

“Jesse Ventura is the best wrestling commentator around,” says Raymond. “Unlike some other commentators on WWF television whom I could name, Jesse has been in the ring. He’s a veteran. He’s experienced. He knows what’s going on. He doesn’t miss a trick.  And he calls things right, especially about the Rockers. Watch them. They’re in the ring illegally together more than any other tag team in the WWF. Don’t let them fool you. They’re the worst kind of cheaters. My brother and I know that firsthand. Right, Jacques?”

||The Rockers execute double powerslams on their foes. Within the allotted time frame that the two partners can stay in the ring, they take full–but legal–advantage of it, striking with flying fists and crossbody blocks. The Rougeaus, conversely, break the rules by using Jimmy Hart’s Megaphone.||

“Absolutely, Raymond,” answers Jacques. “We’ve been up against some real slime buckets, but never anybody as bad as the Rockers. They don’t pay any attention to the rules. They’re not like us. We like to wrestle fair and square. We’ve got our reputations to think of. And all our fans out there in good old America.” 

Jimmy Hart, as usual, puts in his two cents.

“Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels do to the rulebook what they do to good music when they try to sing. They ruin it, baby. They ought to be banned from the ring. Or at least suspended. And if the WWF won’t put them out of wrestling, then I’ve got two men who will. Right here. Jacques and Raymond.”

Those are hard-hitting charges. But, we must remember that the Fabulous Rougeaus and their skinny, yappy manager have a very big ax to grind against the Rockers. Hart and the Rougeaus will try to smear Jannetty and Michaels any time the chance arises. And, as most everyone knows, the Rougeaus and Hart are by no means saints. In fact, some observers–if not Ventura–believe they are the most treacherous, shifty tag teams around. 

||Since the Fabulous Rougeaus viciously attacked the Rockers on WWF Wrestling Challenge, Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels have been warning the Brothers, managed by Jimmy “Mouth of the South'' Hart. After the brutal beating, the Rockers have used very effective double-team ploys to shred apart the opposition, with such maneuvers as double arm wringers and flying double elbows.||

Even so, WWF Magazine decided to dig deeper to see if there is any merit in the accusations against the Rockers. We went to some independent observers and analyzed the Rockers’ style. Here’s what we found:

To begin with, the rules say that when a man tags out, he has five seconds to leave the ring. That seems like only an instant, but the Rockers are so fast that they can unleash a barrage of holds and moves in a flash. Those perfectly legal five seconds give the Rockers time to do a lot of damage to their opponents–all without violating the rules.

No team in the WWF is better at coordinating a dual attack than the Rockers. Double dropkicks. Double clotheslines. Double sidekicks. Double arm wringers. Name it, they can do it as one. 

Moreover, Jannetty and Michaels have the coordination and blazing quickness to move around the ring like greased lighting. And that goes for getting up off the ropes, too. Jetting around the ring, they use every part of it to their best advantage.

So, what’s this got to do with the charge of illegal double-teaming? Everything. The Rockers dart about at such scorching speed and do so many different things in those legal five seconds that it just appears they are both within the ropes for a longer-than-permitted length of time. If you could watch them in slow motion, you would see that they unload rapid-fire on their opponents, and then, in the nick of legal time, the Rocker who has tagged out goes outside the ropes and grabs the tag rope. That’s the way it is. As far as the charge against Jannetty and Michaels of illegal double-teaming is concerned, it’s a matter of “Case dismissed.” As they claim, they don’t cheat.

[justrightofanevening]

i feel like, just due to the nature of how this works, we don't actually need guidance. we're already receiving guidance through the fact that theres limited poll options. and also sometimes loki gives us hints (hi). so maybe we should be asking more specific and out there questions. I've noticed a lot of comments n stuff are voting based on what will get lyf the most help (i dont blame us (im doing it too (i still feel bad about the scream poll))) but i cant help but wonder if asking another question might be more interesting, or potentially more helpful even. we cant expect the characters to know what lyf needs more than we do tbh

While I do want to help you as much as I can (hello), I must warn you not to rely on me. There may come a time when I will not have an answer for you, and I hope this will not affect Lyf in any way.

This is simply the introduction to their story. Now is your time to experiment and see what happens. As much as I despise the idea of treating them like a toy, they are indeed safe here. Do what you feel is best, study the end results, and prepare for any potentially dangerous situations down the tracks.

[cloudlessnightskyline]

pt 1

Okay i'm rereading the webtoon so. thoughts. (if you notice any spelling mistakes please ignore them im on an energy drink and time is weird)

"Several years in the future" (abt the apocalypse). the usage of "several years" makes me think its like. 4-5 years AT MOST. because i dont think we call anything more than 5 several?

"players". sjs says "about 2 years from now" except we have a 1 year timeskip. so that means in sometime around 12 months players are going to start getting chosen?? which is shorter than i thought tbh

"That's how Dawon Guild became one of the top guilds" okay. listen. we know this probably doesn't happen in a day or two, right? it should have taken at least months. and since sjs says he put time into learning all abt weapons, we can further speculate abt the exact time everything started going to shit.

so there was enough time since the guildleader was chosen for him to both raise their guild to the top and let sjs invest in weapon learning? that takes at least sometime from a couple months to maybe a year or two. (there were still people knowledgeable about weapons alive)

so this would put the apocalypse. i am thinking roughly around 2-4 years from current time? the players need time to get acquainted with their skills and have enough time to grow to face the apocalypse.

okay time to theorize more. went back to reread and sjs says the difference in weapon creation is the amount of mana.

Sjs also says he's creating the weapons with little mana? and he's already a D-ranker. what happens when a rank A or B creator gets that knowledge? they can put more mana into the weapons, so they could potentially be stronger than sjs' ones?

yth also makes a comment about the sword. "higher than b rank". why is this a surprise? how do creators work? when a rank B creator standard-generates a sword, is it rank B? Or is it the same as a rank C or D creator's sword??? god i love worldbuilding

Are creators a rarity? surely his old guildmaster could have found another creator? potentially C class, since his whole guild is C class except sjs, so why does he settle on D class sjs? i dont think its abt money since he could probably hire a class C creator and still spend less money than on all the daggers he'll need to keep buying

speaking of which

"do you know how much money we spend on weapons?"

weapons are important in this world!! weapons are very very important so its obvious they'll be expensive. this leads to my question: why are they expensive?

I think it's probably due to a lack of supply.

good weapons are hard to come by and even cheap weapons are expensive. there's so many different classes in rpgs, there's bound to be one that has less people in than others. there are so many we can see in this.

i think, at this point in time, there just hasn't been a way for creators to make indefinite weapons, which means people had to rely on blacksmiths, but there's only so many blacksmiths in the world.

lack of supply + high demand = high prices

obviously this gets solved in the future (either due to players getting weapons from the system or creators just figuring it out due to gaining knowledge)

but this makes me wonder!! why only in the future? surely, somewhere out there, there's gonna be at least one creator who got invested into weapon making, right? this is just swirling around in my brain i had more things to say but it vanished so

yth says "most creators", but he only lists sjs as the exception. "it was as if the limitations didn't apply to him at all". so pretty much this means no creator ever decided they wanted to know more about weapons and i think this is sad.

anyways!!!!

...this is getting too long im making a separate post abt the rest of my thoughts

next part ->

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

Thank u so much for the lore answer, I love the cotton candy sweetness of fluff but ima lil drunk right now, so i wanted to share a f-ed up question if that's okay, (you'r free to not answer if not,) but since Bo is so determined to like not fuck upnot be sent back n stuff what kind of stuff would he avoid doing around MC 4hat he used to do around his previous masters?

and like, if its related or not, i had this headcanon that im glad u gave some bo backstory for bc where it was like, wat would happen if he accidentally caused a accident with all his adorbs puppy energy, like he's playing tag with Jack or somethin and with Bos megahuge beach boy buff arms just knocks MC down the flight of their fancy imported italian marble stairs edged with silver (they say this as they're fallin down btw 'ah! Im falling down my fancy imported italian marblestairshks Im stupid)

but anyway yea they break something or get like super injured or something and ofc the ambulance has to be called and they're taken ro the hospital to stay for awhile, which sucks bc like ofc society looks down on hybrids so everyone is side eyeing this adorable zoo mansion bc they're lame and 1 brain celled and like "thats wat happens when u have a house full of wild animals they should be put down if u ask me" and MCs attitude is like a grim but professional "if i had both my arms Id beat ur ass bitch, wats ur @? Soon as this morphine drip is done its over for u hoes" but like they probably have a cast or somethin . Anyway MC's worried about the boys, and me the OP is worried about Bo bc like Trauma city would hit his brain harrd, and i dont even know if the other guys would be so forgiving and stuff bc i mean they Should they're a family, but that was two(2) flights of imported italian marble dude, fuck, why play football tag,, in the house?? And idk i just felt bad bc jack n Bo esp probably would feel double bad even tho MC loves him so much he's just a hyper guy, he cant help his zoomzooms, i dont/cant fathom wat he and the boys would do in this situation probably pack his one thing (an old mc shoe) ina rucksack n try to run away miserably or maybe 24/7 at the hospitsl despite all the nasty looks and comments bc they're hybrids or magbe even hiding away bc he absolutely believes that mc will send him away once they lock eyes again, but regardless of either of those things, if MC has to roll up to the house in that (yknow that spongebob character guy who was born with glass bones and paper skin ass Giant ass full body cast on rollers??) To go find that boy and over the grand table firmly tell them not to harbor any horrible thoughts about themselves or each other, bc it was an accident and about lovin them unconditionally and being a family, i might cry or somethinf, the table is also imported italian maple btw MC-s parents had a thing i think they fucked an italian architect guy, or somethin anyway i luv u, im gonna eat a burrito so let me know if u want any thing from the kitchen luv u

Lemme know if tuis text is broken up enough bc i skimmed over it and i was like this is like the stat wars openin or some shit i put gaps in

🖤

First of all, sweety, for me, take a sip or two of water, ok? And make sure you sleep on your side if you're still drunk by then, forehead kisses all around

Anyways, Bo would just mask everything that brings him joy by the time you adopt him. No bouncing, no stimming in general, no talking unless asked, no indulging in his hyperfixations or special interests, he even tries to limit his tail wagging. He's come to correlate his own joy with bad behavior so he's just straight up not him when you first meet him

Holy shit, this is good, but fuck man. Bo wouldn't know what to do with himself. Once the ambulance takes you away he thinks you died. He's in full shutdown, no talking, no eating, no moving off your bed and your scent

Jack would also be distraught, both because he was playing with Bo and because he cleans those stairs so often they're just a little more slippery from how clean they are. He stays with Bo most days, Rory coming in with meals to make sure they don't starve in there. Jack eats a little. Bo doesn't

Rory feels bad for Jack and Bo, he knows they didn't mean it and trusts Jack's recount of events. Nick keeps himself busy by visiting you in the hospital, Shaun wants to go too but since cat's are a popular allergen he's not allowed in unless he needs care. Ian goes as often as he can so he doesn't have enough time to plot Bo's death. Jean and Berry are pissed and openly talk about kicking Bo out. They know better than to talk about Jack like that with Rory around. Joseph is stuck as peace maker until you get back, making sure that no fights break out and they Jean doesn't poisons Bo's food with onions, not that he'd eat it anyhow

When you finally get home and tell everyone that you forgive Bo seeing as it was an accident Bo finally lets everything hit him and cries. He's on his best behavior the months following, you'll have to reteach him to drop his "good boy" mask and be himself

[alivehouse]

(While sending this ask I've accidentally found out what cool wallpapers (literally) you have on your desktop blog theme.)

Well, good day, my dearest horror podcast Virgil,

I, surprisingly to myself, actually finished "I am in Eskew" and enjoyed it quite a bit (which, I guess, could have been deduced by how much I spammed in the tag) even more surprisingly, considering I'm absolutely not a horror person - I substitute horror movies with their wikipedia retellings. Unironically.

Anyway, firstly, thank you! I definitely would have never discovered it without your recommendations!

Secondly, maybe you have something else like that stashed up your sleeve? I definitely need some time to recuperate, but I would like to explore more cool podcasts. (The only two limitations: short-ish - not much longer than this one, the view of a hundred+ episodes scares me; not gorier than this one/no actual jump scares - again, I'm a scardicat.) I remember you talking about "Mabel Podcast" and at the first glance it seems neat, but I'd like to hear your comments on it first.

Thanks in advance. :)

(thank you! its a william morris thing i edited a little lol) glad you liked eskew! its been fun seeing your thoughts on it popping up in the tag, not spammy at all.

i do want to mention that the creator of eskew also has another podcast called The Silt Verses, personally i havent listened to it for weird brain reasons so not sure how well it fits your criteria but ive heard its also very good

mabel podcast is another favorite! the creators of mabel and the creator of i am in eskew were both inspired by shirley jackson's the haunting of hill house to an extent iirc, so even though the stories are very different some elements of them have a similar 'feel' to them imo. i will say that mabel is very different stylistically though (especially the earlier episodes) which in my experience people seem to either love or hate. whereas in eskew you get a pretty continuous narration from david or riyo, in mabel youre mostly listening in on a series of somewhat disjointed voicemail messages. id definitely recommend at least giving the first few episodes a go, dont get discouraged if you dont feel like you dont understand whats happening right away. all you really need to know about the story going in is that youre following Anna, whos a live-in carer for an old woman named Sally. Anna is trying to contact Sallys next of kin (the titular Mabel), but shes strangely out of reach.

ok i know you said youre not a huge horror person but if you ever are feeling a little more daring id suggest trying out The White Vault. theres a small amount of gore (descriptions of finding hearts and teeth) and some uh. wet ripping sounds in it but its really not that bad all things considered, just know that it is straight horror though. its a found footage podcast that follows a group of people whove been hired to check out a remote outpost in northern norway thats gone dead, but a storm leaves them stranded there, and as time goes on it becomes clear that they arent exactly alone. this ones a little longer i think, but tbh ive only listened to the first two seasons, it felt like a natural place for the story to end to me

and then on the complete opposite side of the spooky podcast spectrum, if you want something thats a ghost story but really not horror at all imo, i just finished listening to Midnight Radio a few weeks back. this ones *really* short, like 10 episodes that are ~20 minutes each short, so its definitely lower commitment. in this one youre listening in on a radio show hosted by Sibyl, who died decades earlier but can still be heard waxing poetic about her hometown in the dead of night.

ok LAST ONE havent finished it so wasnt sure if i should rec it but a lot of people on my dash hype up Archive 81 so i thought id mention it at least. guy is hired to listen through a bunch of creepy tapes in some archive out in the middle of no where. classic horror podcast stuff. similar to eskew in that it pivots from mostly being mostly anthology into an overarching plot as you go on

[ankhisms]

oh hold on im going to ramble about rehersal last night bc i was on post limit and also too tired to talk about anything when i got home lmao

anyway this is a good thing not a bad thing that happened so dont worry im doing alright im just still thinking about it bc i mean. i guess its kind of sad that it feels jarring to me to be treated with kindness especially by someone in an authority position like a director but i am very thankful. our director sends us emails with notes on the rehersal and things for us to remember and in the email yesterday i didnt see it till i got to rehersal bc she sent it around the time i started to drive since my drive to town and back is very long. in the email she was like rey youre doing a great job thank you for knowing your lines theres one other thing id like to talk to you about sometime. and of course this makes my brain have alarms go off because yknow. abuse and trauma and just general brain bullshit where immediately if im told "theres one other thing we have to talk about later" by an authoritity figure or anyone really my brain tries to jump to the worst case scenario yknow like oh god shes gonna tell me to quit the play and that i suck and that i should just give up on acting and that im not good enough. but i tried to shake it off and just focused on acting in the rehersal. and at the very end of rehersal i went up to her and was like hey what was the one other note you had for me that you wanted to give me? and she ended up genuinely like really earnestly praising me and telling me that im amazing and doing a really great job and that she really appreciates how on top of things i am with knowing my lines and blocking and entrances and that she hardly has to give me any directions as a director because i just have a good instinct for what to be doing onstage and what things to find in the text to work with and she told me that i remind her a lot of a professional working actor that shes friends with in chicago 😭😭 and the note she wanted to give me was that i have a tendency to sometimes subconciously sneak looks at the audience and then dart my eyes back to the scene which is something her professional actor friend does too and she was like both you and him are so good but you worry about if people are going to like you and what youre doing, they like you! youre doing great! dont worry! and im surprised that i didnt just start cryimg. i had also made a kind of offhand comment about not being confident in myself and she told me that she was really surprised by that because im very good and i should be confident in myself and then gave me a hug and it was just like

like oh??? oh... maybe i am too hard on myself and maybe im not such a huge fuck up at everything.. anyway shes a very nice person and a great director im really glad shes our director for this production and that was like a really genuinely helpful moment for me

[khaleesiofalicante]

“It’s my dad!” Max grins widely, still hanging upside down. “And some other guy.”

Don’t cry.

Don’t cry.

Don’t cry.

“Of course. Of course. We don’t want the good people of New York thinking you are a negligent father,” Max nods seriously and then side-eyes Magnus. “But then again, next to this one, you look like the father of the year.

He sees Rafael’s bike parked outside.

No. No.

Magnus runs inside.

“That’s right!” he hears Max yell after him. “Run to your precious golden boy!”

“You don’t get to fucking tell me what to do,” Max shakes his head. “You are not my father.”

“Max. Please,” Rafael says softly. “You don’t want bapak to get hurt again, right? Please. Please. Stop. Bapak doesn’t deserve this. I know it hurts. But stop. Please.”

“You sure you’re straight, Rafe?” Max snorts. “You’re sucking his dick pretty hard right now.”

“Max!” Alec yells. “Stop it. Magnus has-”

"The two of you are fucking pathetic," Max snorts. "Magnus this. Bapak that. Have some fucking self-esteem."

Rafael moves forward. But Alec pulls him back by the arm.

"Don't," Alec tells their oldest and then looks at Max. "One more word out of you and-"

"And what?" Max crosses his arms.

"Max," Magnus intervenes. "If you are mad at me, just be mad at me. Don't take it out on Alec and Rafael."

"You can't help it, can you?" Max asks with a grin. "You always have to tell people what to do. Because you think you're better than the rest of you. Guess what, bapak? You are the weak link in this family."

“That’s what I thought,” Max laughs out loud. “Leave. That’s all you know. Leave. You fucking coward.”

“And what you did today?” Magnus shakes his head. “I’ve never been disappointed in you.”

He thinks of the billboard again.

His face.

The words ‘Go Kill Yourself’ written across his eyes.

Magnus swallows.

“Do you have no idea what could have happened if the wrong person had seen the message at the wrong time?” Magnus asks hoarsely. “Do you have no idea how much it hurt me to see my son act like this?”

“Yeah. Maybe it’s just you,” Max chuckles. “Maybe it’s a good thing. Because now dad can be with someone who actually fucking loves him.”

Rafael slips into the couch and buries his face in his hands.

Okay. I'm done. I've been with Rafe since the first time I read this fic. Max is very selfish.

And I really tried (both times I read this fic), but I just can't take it anymore. I tried to ignore all your horrible and unfortunate comments in both timelines but I have again reached my limit in the same chapter in which I reached my limit last time.

Reminds me of my little brother. They live in their own world and with their own pain. And people have to be able to live through their pain and that is their right, but that doesn't mean they have the right to everything. He closes himself in his pain and doesn't care how bad others have it. You could be suffering and not make it harder for others.

I really try to be understanding with Max but he pokes and pokes and pokes until he makes you explode. What he does is not right. And they spoil him for it, and so he will never learn

It reminds me of that scene with Tessa and Jem where they are talking about Will and she wonders what good they are doing to Will if they always forgive him for everything he says or does.

I'm glad that Magnus was able to set his limit to stop Max from continuing to advance, because we don't know if he would have stopped. Sometimes children also behave toxically towards their parents.

I don't think Max is the devil por being selfish, i want to be clear. I don't hate him, i dont have 15 years old. I understand this is complicated. But we have to admit that he has a selfishness problem that he must learn to deal with. That doesn’t make him a bad person, but hus selfishness makes him doing bad things and he should know where is the line, not waiting to others to draw it

And Magnus was absolutely right to make him think about what would have happened if someone read that sign at the wrong time. How he doesn't think about how things affect others. How Max doesn't think. It's a horrible thing to say, regardless of whether he went against his bapak. Someone else could have read it, and seen it as a sign

Also, poor Rafael. I get it so much, the more Max talked, the more Rafe became afraid that Max would end up triggering Magnus. And as a person who ends up imagining the worst in stressful situations, I know what must have been going through Rafe's head at that moment

I think it's spot on and this was the whole point.

This was Max's struggle in tlnd. His arc, if you will. Everyone had their own kind of 'toxic' habit to overcome whether it was Magnus letting people walk all over him and keep sacrificing himself for love, whether it was Alec's stubbornness to fix things and just keep trying even if it makes things worse, Rafael's inability to set boundaries and Max's selfishness.

The story wouldn't work, let's say, if Max had Arthur's personality. He had to be who he is for the story to move. But I had to be careful because this version of Max can't only exist in tlnd. So, you do see this reckleness and selfishness in other fics, but manifesting in different ways and impacting him and others around him in different ways.

It's very hard to read, especially if you relate to Rafael a lot, but it was incredible to write :)