#i either need 5 roses or 40 there's no in between here

[i-am-dulaman]

[long post]

So the other night I was talking to the most insufferable first year business student who insisted trickle down economics was great. He for some reason was, in the middle of a night club, trying to convince me we need more tax cuts for the rich.

Anyway, ignoring that, he has annoyed me into finally doing the research into something called a worker cooperative which has been in the back of my mind for a while now.

So a worker cooperative is essentially a company which is owned by the people who work there. They either elect their own management or, for smaller firms, make management decisions democratically, and they all share in the profits. This is opposed to consumer cooperatives where the business is owned by its customers.

So with that in mind there are two things you need to know:

New Zealand is the only post-industrialized country whose agricultural sector has grown, and its the fastest growing sector of the NZ economy. 

5 of the largest agriculture businesses in NZ are cooperatives, including Fonterra, NZ’s largest company which accounts for ONE THIRD of the ENTIRE WORLDS dairy trade.

Now none of those agriculture companies are actually true worker cooperatives, they’re usually only owned partly by their workers and not all workers have a stake in the company either. For example Fonterra is owned by 11000 of its dairy farmers but has over 10000 other employees who are not owners. But it’s close enough.

So is it a coincidence the best performing sector of the NZ economy is dominated by cooperatives? I have no idea. im just looking at the numbers. But its an interesting correlation.

Worker cooperatives are actually very rare in the world, but there has been some research done on them, particularly in Italy and France and here are some highlights:

They are much more resilient, with the chance of shutting down in its first 3 years of operation between 30% and 50% lower than normal companies when fully controlled for industry/size/etc. 

During the 2008 recession, worker cooperatives in france saw a 4% increase in employment while the unemployment rate in france rose by 0.7%

Salaries were slightly lower on average in France however other studies also showed salaries being slightly higher. This is likely due to the pay distribution, where the CEOs salary will be much lower in a cooperative compared to a CEO in a normal company, thus bringing down the average.

Cooperatives are 6-14% more productive

Employees are much more committed to their work

So in other words, they work.

What’s more is it keeps the profits of the company in the local economy, with all the money going to the workers, instead of shareholders who could be anywhere in the world and would likely just put the money into savings.

However the main draw back is it is hard to get the startup funds to start new companies. Most companies of course start off small with only a handful of workers which means each would need to invest a significant amount of their own money. But I’ll address this problem further below.

Anyway so what’s my point here?

Make every company a worker cooperative by law. That’s my point. Not a 100% worker cooperative, but a law that makes every single company in NZ pay its employees 50% of its profits, on top of their regular salaries.

Now im not an economist so idk anything about this subject. I’m just a socialist who has worked for the government before so i know how inefficient true communism can be when the government owns every business, but i have also worked in a private business that could afford to pay everyone an extra $250,000 but instead gives 1 billion dollars to our australian owners and kept us short staffed and underequiped.

so i wanted an alternative, and this is what i’ve come up with just fooling around with numbers and hypotheticals.

So I would love to see an actual economists take on this, not that i expect to find one on tumblr lol i’m just writing this here cause idk where else to write my thoughts.

So why only 50% of profits instead of 100%?

I think compromise is important. Every revolution failed because of a lack of compromise. revolutionaries pushed the revolution further and further to the extreme which pushed away moderates and sparked counter-revolutionaries. Keeping it to 50% means maybe more moderates will be on board. Keeping it to 50% also means investors are still motivated to invest and receive returns, which solves the biggest problem with worker cooperatives.

I’ve gone and looked at 40 of the largest companies (by revenue, number of employees, or net profit) in NZ, and calculated what it would look like if they paid their employees 50% of their profits evenly. These companies represent about 10% of the NZ workforce.

Note that some companies can literally afford to pay ALL of their employees HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of dollars and still keep 50% of their profits. One can even afford to make every single one of its employees a millionaire. (also note that some of this data is even from 2020/2021 with covid severely damaging the economy)

This averages out to $28000 per person. The median income of NZ is $53,000, so that would mean a sudden 52% increase in salary on average.

Not for nothing, it would also lead to an enormous amount of money in circulation, as people with more money will buy more things, and give the economy a massive boost. (The opposite of trickle down economic. Suck it first year business dude.)

I think a law like this would provide a sudden and drastic redistribution of wealth.

And i think it’s worth the time/brainpower of someone who knows more about economics than me.

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You Masterlist

Summary: Elain and Azriel were high school sweethearts until Azriel unexpectedly ends their relationship after graduation. It's been ten years since they've seen or spoken to each other. But when the bank that Elain worked at part-time to pay for medical school is robbed at gunpoint, she's surprised when the criminals seem to recognize her and retreat in fear. She later finds out that Azriel is the head of the Velaris Mob and has placed her on a "do not harm" list and decides to confront the male that once held her heart. After years apart, their reconciliation is anything but easy. When a threat arises, Elain and Azriel have to figure out a way to co-exist again while not letting their history or feelings get in the way, which proves to be more of a challenge than either of them anticipated.

Please do not reblog any content from this story.

I am working on converting this to an original story and will need to remove this story from online.

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Parts marked with an ** are NSFW.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19**, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30**, Part 31, Part 32**, Part 33**, Part 34**, Part 35**, Part 36**, Part 37**, Part 38**, Part 39**, Part 40**, Part 41**, Part 42**, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45, Part 46**, Part 47**, Part 48, Part 49**, Epilogue**

IDBTWY Prequels (in chronological order)

One for the Face

Seven Minutes

Spaghetti for Two

A Cabin on the Lake

The Distance Between Us

The Vow

Artwork

Stunning cover artwork, commissioned by me from the incredible theclever.crow (IG)

Gorgeous Part 9 artwork, commissioned by me from the incredible @sncinder! 💕

Amazing Part 19 artwork by the lovely @sleepylivart - Spoilers! 💕

Header mood board and ones below are made the amazing @gracie-rosee. Check out the full collection of mood boards here. 💕

A little, gorgeous, birthday art from the incredible @gracieart here. 💕

[recurring-polynya]

Once again, I am thinking about the dubious claim that people make from time to time that Renji would have gotten better character development in the TYBW arc if Byakuya had died. The thing is, though, that Renji did get excellent character development in this arc, particularly with respect to his relationship to Byakuya, it was just very subtle and I want to talk about it.

So, the first thing I want to point out is that the captain-lieutenant relationships is one of the major themes of the TYBW. A lot of this is sort of weird and awkward, but this is perfect, actually, because captain-lieutenant relationships are, for the most part, weird and clunky and awkward. Take for example, the part that I always make fun of, where the captains are told not to go to bankai, and Hitsugaya, Komamura, Byakuya and Soi Fon immediately go to bankai-- but they all do this on the assumption that they are luring their opponent into a trap to see how this works, and that their lieutenant will somehow ??defeat them anyway?? (well, except Soi Fon who seems to think she can one-shot her Quincy). There’s Sasakibe’s funeral, where we find out that Yamamoto cared far more for him than we ever imagined. Kyouraku returns Nanao’s zanpakutou to her and stands behind her as she defeats an opponent he can't. Iba carries Komamura’s body off of the battlefield as he loses the last of his humanity. Isane struggles to keep her head above her grief because that’s the burden Unohana left her with. Rose avenging Kira. Hitsugaya and Matsumoto fighting and (sort of) dying together. The Zaraki-Yachiru thing. The Mayuri-Nemu thing. Momo and Shinji actually got to have a relatively normal one, which they each deserved, but at least they got to have normal one together. Anyway, that could be an entire essay, but as usual, I only want to talk about Renji and Byakuya.

Renji’s introduction as a character happens in stages. Initially, he sort of appears to be Byakuya’s sidekick-- he's here to do the dirty work during Rukia’s arrest, while Byakuya stands by and calls the shots, but even early on, it’s clear that Renji’s a little hung up on Byakuya. He’s trying to impress him, and gets more embarrassed and self-conscious as things go progressively pear-shaped. When Byakuya finally enters the action, Renji’s thought bubbles reveal that he’s watched Byakuya for a long time, that he knows all his moves. When we get the Renji backstory reveal a few issues later, we learn that Renji’s goal is to defeat Byakuya, which he seems to feel is necessary to seeing Rukia again, even though there has never been any sort of causal link revealed between these two things. Don’t get me wrong, if Young Academy Renji had tried to continue to be friends with Rukia, I think Byakuya would have kicked him out on his ass, but it’s clear that a lot of Renji’s hang-ups are internal-- he doesn’t want to face Rukia again until he can stand against Byakuya. I think the origin of this is that he simply wants what’s best for Rukia, and he can’t stomach the idea of asking her to leave her rich, noble family for him, unless, of course, he’s somehow better than Byakuya in some dimension, and the only thing Renji’s ever considered himself good at is fighting.

Even more interesting is that he’s chosen to go about this by... studying the man’s every move and becoming his lieutenant. But for as much energy as Renji has put into learning Byakuya’s favorite combat moves, he doesn’t actually know anything about him as a person. He’s shocked when Rukia predicts that Byakuya won’t lift a finger to help her, and then horrified when this actually comes to pass. A few chapters later, as he’s running Hinamori through, Aizen comments that “Adoration is the state furthest from understanding.” I would probably classify Renji’s feelings towards Byakuya more as admiration or idolization, rather than adoration, but I think this statement is also very true of Renji and Byakuya’s relationship. Unlike poor Momo, Renji gets a little more time and opportunity to do something with this information. With a little Ichigo-forced soul searching, he realizes that he’s not going to come out the hero of this story no matter what, but if he doesn’t do something, Rukia’s not going to come out of this story at all, and even if he’s not really ready, he’s spent 40 years trying to figure out how to beat Kuchiki Byakuya, let’s hope all that was good for something.

The Byakuya-Renji fight has no direct impact on the events of the Soul Society Arc. It makes Byakuya show up to Rukia’s execution 5 minutes late and without his scarf. Renji gets healed, so it really doesn’t matter all that much to him, either. You could argue that they both wasted a bunch of energy (that they could have used to fight Aizen later) but it’s primarily a character-driven moment of them both drawing lines in the sand about where they stand, vis a vis Rukia. Byakuya wins this fight, and he wins it handily, but he’s wrong, as he comes to realize a few issues later, when Ichigo kicks his ass and tells him he’s a bad brother, a lesson that Byakuya will take to heart for the rest of the manga. Byakuya claims that the difference between Renji and himself is class, but the real difference between is the heart, and in the long run, Renji is the real victor of this fight.

The hospital scene is an interesting footnote to this. Byakuya defeated Renji, but Byakuya was the asshole and everyone knows it. There’s an expectation that perhaps Renji will quit or perhaps Renji will give him an earful and perhaps even Rukia will choose to leave the family, either to go to the Living World or to be with Renji (and Byakuya would deserve this), but instead, both Renji and Rukia give Byakuya another chance, which is not, I think, a place Renji ever expected to be.

Rukia and Byakuya building up a sibling relationship after this is fairly straightforward (although I’m sure it had its weird moments), but Byakuya and Renji now have this profoundly awkward relationship where Byakuya is obviously in charge, but he sort of depends on Renji as a personal compass because he’s shit at dealing with people and he doesn’t want to screw stuff up with Rukia again. Take for example, the part of the Hueco Mundo arc where Orihime is kidnapped and Rukia and Renji desert their posts to come help rescue her. Kubo takes to the panel-space to tell us that Byakuya has tacitly approved this. As a clan head and a captain, a person who is entrenched in the hierarchy of Soul Society, Byakuya couldn’t possibly go to Hueco Mundo-- but he can turn a blind eye while his sister and lieutenant scurry out through the Kuchiki family senkaimon. Renji, for his part, tried to go to Hueco Mundo through official channels and got shot down. We don’t know what Renji would have done if Byakuya had explicitly forbidden him from going, but it doesn’t matter-- Byakuya enabled Renji to follow his heart here, because Byakuya can’t. Rukia would have gone to Hueco Mundo regardless. She cares about Byakuya, but she doesn’t depend on him for validation the way Renji does.

I said this was going to be about the TYBW, so let’s get to that. Early in the arc, we’re shown several scenes where it’s clear that Byakuya respects and values Renji as a lieutenant, but he’s also pretty damn patronizing to him. Renji is the first one to engage As Nodt, and when Byakuya shows up, he acts surprised that Renji hasn’t taken him out yet, but then proceeds to take over the fight (real, “stand back, fives, an eleven has arrived” energy). After Byakuya then loses his bankai like a doofus, Renji wants to take point so that Byakuya can figure out As Nodt’s attack and Byakuya won’t let him... and then proceeds to get thrashed.

This has to be one of the most emotionally charged fights in Bleach. Byakuya is losing, and Renji jumps in, absolutely incensed that As Nodt would use Senbonzakura against Byakuya. Renji isn’t doing great, but he’s not doing terrible when Byakuya gets up and tries to help Renji, even though he’s a big bloody mess. As Nodt reacts by shredding Byakuya into chunks, and Renji just loses it, and if Mask de Masculine hadn’t shown up and kicked him halfway across the Seireitei, I daresay Renji would have killed himself trying to take down As Nodt.

This is where I usually make the point that if Byakuya had died to here, it would have broken Renji into little pieces, but that’s not today’s essay. Instead, everyone goes to the Royal Realm, and by virtue of the fact that Byakuya is injured worse than everyone else, Renji has to go forward without him or his approval.

In typical Renji fashion, the thing that motivates Renji here is not glory or heroism, but the desire to accompany Ichigo, the need to be with his friends in their times of trial. In fact his companionship here is absolutely essential-- at Hikifune’s, Ichigo expresses deep doubts that he’s doing the right thing, and Renji reminds himself that if he wants to protect others, he has to take care of himself first.

At Nimaiya’s however, Renji and Ichigo are split up because they must follow their own paths. The other extremely interesting thing that happens here is that Renji’s sword is reforged. Byakuya shattered one of Hihio Zabimaru’s joints the very first time Renji used them in combat. Renji brushed it off at the time, saying that he could get by without it. Even though Byakuya has long been his motivating force and his mentor, he’s also been held back by his connection to him. And at this point, it’s gone.

I really wish we got to see where Renji and Rukia meet up again, but we don’t. Unlike with Ichigo, though, Rukia doesn’t seem to need anything from Renji. They travel together, fight together as equals, wear matching outfits, like you do. Oh. Wait. After all this time, in the 493 chapters between Needless Emotions and Blue Stripes, Renji can finally see himself as an equal to Rukia. They get. bankai. Together.

I want to emphasize that it’s not really anything about Rukia herself that allowed Renji to make bankai, it’s the fact that he’s finally managed to move past the feeling that he’s not enough. Defeating Byakuya would not actually have solved this problem, and having Byakuya dying in front of him wouldn’t have either. Renji gets criticized for losing a lot of his fights, but that’s such a key to his character. He’s not always the strongest, he doesn’t always win, but he keeps fighting for what he cares about. He struggles with his need for approval, for external validation, but Renji is at his best when he doesn’t have time to think about that, when he’s just fighting by his friends’ sides against impossible odds, doing what he knows in his heart is right.

I think people tend to make a little more than is strictly necessary of the line where he tells Mask that he’s “a villain”, I think he’s most just making fun of Mask’s own self-aggrandizement. On another level, though, this is just Renji being at ease with himself. Byakuya typically enters a fight bloviating about the honor of Soul Society and “how dare you raise your sword against me, the 28th Head of the Kuchiki” and even Ikkaku had the whole deal about telling people your name before you kill them, but Renji is more like “you beat up my friends, so I’m gonna break your face,” like there’s no ego in it, just you’re there, and he’s there, and then you’re lying on the ground and he’s taking a nap somewhere. This is so different than the insecure, posturing young man he was at the start of this series and I love this growth for him.

Even after he eventually meets up with Byakuya again, something has changed about their dynamic. The group gets split up and rejoined two or three times, and Renji and Rukia always stay together while Byakuya ends up fighting alongside others, Hisagi and later Hitsugaya and Zaraki. This is cemented in their last scene together, where Rukia and Renji try to stay with Byakuya and he sends them off to fight with Ichigo by saying “your help is not needed here.” In some ways, it’s an echo of Byakuya sending them off to Hueco Mundo, but in other ways, it’s acknowledging that they are their own people, not just an extension of him.

Hitsugaya follows it up with this:

There’s more here than meets the eye, though-- Byakuya and Renji have maintained a pretty strict superior-subordinate relationship, because that’s the easiest way for them to make sense of the world, but the fact is, they do care about each other and are important to one another.

I know there would be a certain narrative satisfaction in seeing Renji make captain at the end-- he’s one of the hardest working people in Bleach, and it frankly seems weird to see Iba get the haori when he doesn’t. But Renji has never wanted to be a captain. Renji becoming captain would, in some ways, be a failure. He spends years pre-canon chasing rank and prestige because that’s what he thinks will make him worthy, and it didn’t. Instead, he found worth in being himself, in loving his friends and being there for them, in learning things from Byakuya and teaching him things in return. Renji doesn’t need to be Byakuya’s lieutenant anymore, he just does it because he likes it. It makes him happy. What better character development is there than that?

[spenciegoob]

Petrichor (Blurb)

A/N: hi hi hi! I wrote this instead of PWYC pt. 5 and i’m sorry, but enjoy!

Summary: Reader loved the rain, but Spencer loved them a little bit more.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral!Reader

Category: fluff

Content Warnings: none! it’s just good feeling, happy fluff

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.2K

____

One day they described the rain to me, how it felt to watch it dance on top of cars from their old apartment. How at ease their mind would feel when their French windows were wide open on a stormy night, watching the lightning ridicule the world for taking advantage of it’s tears.

“You’re drenched, and you’re going to get sick. How can you sit in the pouring rain?” I asked when I found them perched delicately on the windowsill, half their body already dripping.

“The rain is beautiful. Look!” Their excitement was endearing enough that there was no argument for me to stick my head out the window to look at the gray world around us.

“What am I supposed to be seeing?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just like to appreciate the underlying beauty of a storm before basking in the sunlight.”

I remember hoping they would speak about me with that same curiosity one day.

I don’t believe a purer love existed. I was completely infatuated with them, and for reasons beyond my control, they felt equally about me. It was obvious from the first time our eyes met. I watched, I couldn’t help it. They were mesmerizing, their eyes looking up at me with such innocence through bright, unadulteratedly joyous eyes. 

They saw beauty within me in things I thought impossible. When I or anyone else would hide in dismay at the summer storm raging in my chest, they gazed through those French windows, fascinated at how the light could paint my eyes so dramatically.

And even after all this time, the years bringing less and less surprises as they went, the love we felt for one another was still beautifully unexplainable. Perhaps it is shown through the way my hand always searched out for theirs in grocery stores because losing them even for a second frightened me to the core. Maybe it was the way they stared at me through those unfathomable eyes as if I was the only man that would truly ever know them.

Either way, we fit one another to the bone, a love so pure and fragile I would spend an eternity looking for them if they hadn’t stepped into my life. For all the darkness and cruelty I see, one look at them and the world melted down to an innocent and kind place.

So I knew tomorrow when I stood at the altar, waiting for them to enter both the room and a new step in our lives together, I held no doubt. I was going to spend the rest of my time on Earth in their arms.

I sat at the kitchen table, holding a pen with enough force to be suffocating, and stared at the blank page in front of me. For all the times that I’ve let scientific facts and statistics flow off my tongue without a care, I could not find the words that held enough weight to convey my love for them.

“Hey Spence?” They called for me from the doorway of our bedroom. I looked up to find them in a t-shirt of mine with a cheesy chemistry joke printed on it. Since the day I explained the punchline to them, they wear it every chance they get. Little, fuzzy sock clad feet slid across the floor over to me where I was stuck admiring.

“You coming to bed soon? Your side is getting cold,” they whispered the last part with the lips grazing the top of my head, resting their hands on my shoulders. Immediately the tension left my body, and I turn, the words flooded my brain.

“Uh, y-yeah. In a second. I just need to finish something.” I felt their smile before I looked up to see it, and God was it breathtaking.

“Okay, my love.” Even though my hand itched to start scribbling my undying love, I watched their descend back to our bed, turning around once more to smile at me over their shoulder. Once they were completely out of my sight, I snapped back to my unfinished vows.

‘The day I met you, I was fully consumed by my undeniable fascination and the need to know who you were, You’re unlike anyone I have ever known. You’re this curious, ever-seeking, ever-feeling person who believed the world was good. You loved me before you ever judged me, a kindness not many people possess. Your ultimate adoration for just being alive immersed itself around me and for every moment I’ve been with you, the world has slowly started to become brighter. You give me purpose, like lighting a lost flame I thought to dismiss years ago.

And in 40 years, I have no doubt I’ll be sitting on our porch, surrounded by a white picket fence and a domesticity I can only find with you. I’ll just watch our memories relive and unfold, but the best of all is that you’ll be there next to me, and I can’t imagine not looking at you with the same amount of love as I feel right now. I am unconditionally infatuated with you now, and forever.

Because it’s always been you, and it will always be you. God, I love you.’

During the night after we devoted ourselves to each other, I watched as they lied next to me, my breath grew unsteady as theirs evened out. I was captivated by their hair spreading softly across pillows that would never compare to how soothing it was to lay across their chest. The way their eyes stared up at me with familiar amazement that made my stomach swell with butterflies and my pulse jump.

They were absolutely breathtaking.

In most literature, rain was mainly used to portray a certain kind of sadness that made the world feel like it was coming to an end, but not now. Right here, laying in between silk sheets that sculpted their body as if they were their own french painting, rain meant devotion, adoration, love.

A kind of endearment I would never find within wet clothes and runny noses unless my lover was next to me basking in the storm.

I know it was impossible, we were indoors for Christ’s sake, but the drop of rain that hit my arm felt real. It wasn’t until my lover’s face dampened with their own pouring raindrops that I realized mine came from my own eyes.

I was quite literally hypnotized, not moving to wipe the tears running down cheeks that were pushed up from the wide, involuntary grin spread across my face. I could only fixate on them, the way they smiled back and the blush that rose to their cheeks. I couldn’t take my eyes away.

It was okay though, because they never looked away either, and reached up to wipe the teardrops I let fall carefree. I nuzzled into the palm of their hand like I couldn’t get enough, but the truth was their touch ignited a comfort that deeply resonated in me, and I would selfishly search out for it every chance I got.

I would pray for the sky to turn gray and rain to fall in sheets for the rest of my life.

____

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[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Mercury enters retrograde zone

Timeline (current events in bold)

Monday, September 6 - Mercury enters pre-retrograde shadow, 10:08 Libra

Tuesday, September 14 - Mercury’s greatest eastern elongation, 18:23 Libra

Monday, September 20 - Mercury enters “Storm,” moving less than 40 minutes/day

Monday, September 27 - Mercury stations retrograde, 25:28 Libra

Saturday, October 9 - Mercury’s Inferior Conjunction with the Sun, 16:35 Libra

Monday, October 18 - Mercury stations direct, 10:08 Libra

Saturday, October 23 - Mercury exits “Storm,” moving more than 40 minutes/day

Monday, October 25 - Mercury’s greatest western elongation, 13:53 Libra

Tuesday, November 2 - Mercury exits post-retrograde shadow, 25:28 Libra

Mercury’s function in our charts is to serve as our inner computer program, which we can boil down to:

Input -> Process -> Output

That means we can equate Mercury’s retrograde periods either to “debugging,” or to upgrading the software. Something about the ways we learn, think, and communicate needs work. If you think about Merc Rx this way, it’s much easier to deal with!

This particular Mercury retrograde is rather fraught. It is tangling itself with the ongoing (and mercifully soon to be completed) Pluto-Eris square, which I have nicknamed the “evolve or die square.” Mercury’s station retrograde in particular aggravates that square. But, and it’s a big but, Mercury’s Inferior Conjunction with the Sun (essentially a “reset” button) will also be exactly conjunct Mars. And, that day is also the last time the Pluto-Eris square is exact.

Good gracious.

I listed some problems we run into with Mercury/Libra when I wrote about Mercury’s ingress, last week. Basically, we have problems with:

Refusal to acknowledge unpleasant realities

Intellectual laziness/superficiality

Sugar-coating everything we say

Manipulating others

“Peace at any price” (see: Neville Chamberlain)

Being overly argumentative

Cold and unemotional (remember, Libra’s symbol is a machine)

Any or all of the above mental attitudes are going to get us into trouble over the next couple of months. But that’s what Mercury retrograde is for! In the pre-retrograde shadow, we’re becoming aware of these problems - the better to be able to face them, solve them, and move on.

Mercury will be “stuck” between 10:08 Libra and 25:28 Libra. That’s about 4.16% of the entire 360-degree Zodiac. Some of us will have this little swath contained in only one house. Others of us (raises hand) will have these 15 degrees straddling two houses. Since I’m having it mostly in my natal 11th House, that’s where I’m going to focus my efforts. If it were mostly in my natal 12th House, then that’s where I would try to work. It’s all up to you and how you tend to roll!

All of the following aspects are the first of three, and they’re all connected strongly with the entire Merc Rx process. Note that when you see “11:38” you should understand it to mean “11 degrees 38 minutes.” (Me being a lazy typist.) Some of these aspects may "ding" something in your birth chart, which ties it in with a particular lesson you're meant to learn.

Tuesday, September 7 - Mercury/Libra sextile Juno/Sagittarius, 11:38; Wednesday, September 8 - Mercury/Libra opposite Chiron Rx/Aries, 11:45

We’re becoming aware of some problem, and accepting/offering help to overcome it. The help may or may not be accepted, though; the “offeree” could be a bit cocky about their ability to get through it alone. (And that goes for you if you’re the “offeree,” too.) Some manipulation could be taking place, too, and it will come back to bite us in the butt.

Friday, September 10 - Mercury/Libra inconjunct Uranus Rx/Taurus, 14:36

Uranus is always sudden and unexpected, so expect something sudden and unexpected to disrupt our plans. This may be especially true for those of us who wear rose-colored glasses and see only sweetness and light.

Monday, September 13 - Mercury/Libra inconjunct Pallas Athene Rx/Pisces, 17:50

And here we have the possibility of being out-strategized, out-thought. The other person possibly could be more comfortable using their right brain, than Mercury tends to be, and that’s what makes the difference. Another possibility is that we refuse to use our right brains, and it causes us harm.

Thursday, September 16 - Mercury/Libra (20:11) sesquare North Node/Gemini, semi-square South Node/Sagittarius (5:11)

By this point we may feel like we’ve completely lost the plot. We were so sure of ourselves only a couple of weeks ago! Our own attitudes are what is holding us back, which we may or may not be able to acknowledge.

Saturday, September 18 - Mercury/Libra inconjunct Neptune Rx/Pisces (21:40)

Another push from the right brain? This is going to be uncomfortable for those of us who are more the “Libra thinking machine” types. Clarity may be in short supply, and we have to feel our way (instead of thinking our way) through the fog.

Monday, September 20 - Mercury/Libra trine Jupiter Rx/Aquarius, 23:32

Trines don’t necessarily mean “good” - there is that old saying, “too much of a good thing,” of course. We could see some intellectual arrogance here, or we could come to the realization that our minds aren’t as powerful as we had believed. There may be some lucky breaks here, which will enable us to learn and grow.

Wednesday, September 22 - Mercury/Libra square Pluto Rx/Capricorn, 24:21; Wednesday, September 22 - Mercury/Libra opposite Eris Rx/Aries, 24:28

First of three for both, alas. What’s more annoying is that these aspects will remain very close from September 20 to October 1. Much of how I think this may play out, is shown in US politics - “liberals” and people on the left, no matter how well-intentioned they are (see: Neville Chamberlain), need to understand that right-wing people: (1) are determined to burn the world down, if they have to share it, and (2) actually enjoy the pain they cause. (Those of us with strong Aries, Scorpio, and/or Capricorn emphasis in our charts may not have this problem.) They. Are. Fascist. Sociopaths. True, it’s the fault of patriarchy and capitalism - but our own wishy-washy attitudes are also to blame for letting life get this far out of hand.

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 4)

Previous / Next (5)

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: Ok. I think I need to calm down with the descriptions a bit. They might be a bitt too much for everything. Good thing this is an experiment and a challenge for my damn bratty authors block. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Tag list: @vicmc624​

Word count:  3,305

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU

Y/N- Your name                             

Y/L/N- Your Last Name                  

40s Vocabulary:  

killer diller - the best, amazing

grandstand - show off in a boastful manner

​snap your cap - get angry

flip your wig - lose your temper, lose control

                                   ----------------------------

   The compound was overthrown by silence, such a sweet melody combined with the sound of the nightly creatures, passing by at such heights. One would be surprised at what could even survive up here, at least the city was just a distant presence. The clock hit 12 as you closed the door of the lab behind yourself. After tiding up you decided to brush over some stuff, ending up just doing 3 more hours of work. Steve wouldn’t be happy to find out you did exactly what he expected.

  Your feet tiptoeing snuck around the halls, making sure no one noticed or got woken up by you. No sound came out, not even by your breath. You were expecting to see the glimmer of light from at least 2 rooms, but apparently no one was up. Palm against the metal of the door, it slid open ever so silently as its owner.

“Ah~…” you let out a deep breath, letting your body sink onto the bed- work books and empty laptop bag on the covers under your right hand. Replenishing the oxygen, you took in the smell of the sheets. A mix of fresh, crisp mountains with a hint of floral tones.

       Knock knock

   Your head came up first, allowing the guest access to your room, before pushing half your body up with hands firmly pressed into the bedding. The hissing sound of the door revealed a head pocking from the side, illuminated slightly by the dim lighting coming from inside.

“Am I bothering?” the female voice asked

“Um no, actually I just came from the lab.” You explained, beginning to identify the owner of the rich voice slowly

“Come over to my room then.” blunt and direct, a woman that never beat around the bush. Something you wanted to be able to do as well sometimes

“Nat!” another sweet note flew into your room, rapidly cutting off the residual command “You are supposed to ask her if she wants to come, not demand. She could be tired.”

“Oh come on.” Natasha looked back at the second companion, reading her a lecture in the corridor “She can say no.” with the corner of her eye she was indirectly actuating you in her favor. Agent habits die…well - never.

“ I am a night owl so if you don’t mind I would love to join you.” Still whispering in case someone woke up, you were pulled out from your room by the two women. It felt like a blink of an eye when you found yourself cross-legged on the soft mattress. The situation was not expected and very much tense for you. Soft tapping sounds of rain filled the room, creating a cozy ambiance. Natasha was leaning onto her elbow - body sideways, while Wanda was completely laying onto her stomach- both looking at you.

“Relax.” Natasha tapped your shoulder. It felt almost like magic when your body did exactly that, well maybe it was since Wanda’s hand flashed a bit. I don’t think anyone would complain about the sudden stress relieve. Compared to your pretty empty living quarters this place showed the years spend. The color of the wall was a warm light tone of dark amber. Combined with the wooden style furniture and small knickknacks, it had a warm cabin like feeling - welcoming. You did not regret coming here at all, now that you were situated. And the rain, the light drops just added so much to this, almost like you were on vacation in the woods and star-gazing with your closest friends.

“So, how did it go with Mr. Always Grumpy?” Wanda uttered below you, attention spilling out of her very existence

“Bucky?” you asked strings pulling a nod from both of them “Thought so.” sighing, your elbows dug into the soft cover supporting your upper body “ He just threw a tantrum that ended up with him almost choking me out on the spot and not in the good way. Fixed his arm though. ”you added proud of the last sentence

“Wait, wait.” Natasha swung her hands side to side in front of her face in disbelieve “He let you fix his shoulder? No, no let me rephrase that. James Buchanan Barnes let you touch him? Someone he doesn’t know?”

“How?” Wanda sat up in a split second, making the bed shift a bit from the kinetic energy applied to it

“Simple.” Your pointer finger flung up positioned between your eyebrows, before pointing at the two women “Treat him like a moody antisocial child.” A wide evil smirk tugged from side to side onto your lips “ I just told him that if he doesn’t get it fixed he will be a burden on the next mission. For someone trying to erase his past by doing good deeds and being useful, this was like a jab to his ego.”

“That…” Wanda’s fingers wrapped around her chin, letting her sink in thought “…that makes a lot of sense honestly. I would have never come up with that.”

“Enough about fossil number 2.” Natasha clapped her hands “Since we will be neighbors from now on, let’s go around and do a short introduction happy campers.”

“I will go first.” Wanda rose her hand beginning “Wanda Maximoff here, your teammate living right in front of you.”

“You can just call me Nat, no need for formalities, Captain’s orders.” She joked

“I mean for me just Wanda is ok.”

“I guess the introduction is directed more towards me.” A giggle rung out “ Y/N Y/L/N, studying in Stark University with a very weird past, that I can’t explain to myself either. Your new neighbor and teammate from what I can gather. Pleasure to make -“ too formal you thought to yourself, it was time to let go a bit “Nice to meet yall.”

  You found yourself getting along with the girls much faster than with anyone else in the compound. Maybe it was because you didn’t have an awkward first confrontation with any of them or a choking one.

“By the way.” You lured them back with your voice “Tony said something about me using the gym. What’s all that about? ”

  The two turned to each other questioning for a moment, before deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to know what Tony was mixing in his little pot of mischief – had to get used to it sooner or later.

“He is testing an Avengers new generation program on you.” Nat concluded from their numerous conversations about you prior to your arrival or, as a matter of fact, even your application acceptance “The gym is for well, to make sure you don’t die on missions.”

“Ok, hol’ up hol’ up.” Your eyes squeezed shut when your hands waved air side to side “Not only am I a ‘build an avenger’ type of deal, but I will be going on missions?!”

  Their non verbal agreement pulling a deep and already exhausted sigh out of you. It hadn’t even began and your muscles were in pain. You got yourself in this mess, you kind of wanted it so no backing down now. Your pride wouldn’t let you.

  The rest of the night was filled with jokes, snarky comments about the men in the compound. Natasha had dirt on almost all of them with the occasional help of Wanda. The three troublesome birdies soon fell asleep each in her own corner of the bed, till later in the night when you huddled up. The window in Natasha’s room was the main culprit causing you to ball one next to the other.

  Light slowly creeping into the common room and welcoming the men stumbling early for a cup of coffee - drowsy and very much looking like bird nests. Tony dressed in his fancy pjs was quick in his preparations, while Sam and Steve were still waiting next to the bubbling machine, on each side of it. Arms crossed, pressed against firm muscles and fighting the sleep.

“Morning early birds.” Tony teased Sam when Bucky’s heavy steps passed behind the playboy. He looked the most awake and ready for a mission out of everyone. Steve pulled out a couple of mugs and poor the hot dark liquid, passing 2 out to his buddies.

  Peace covered them like a comfort veil, sips frequently reminding that time was indeed still flowing and not paused. Boredom began crawling up their spines, when Bruce’s emerging presents lit them up. The need for some vibrancy was soaking into the air.

“What is up with the serious atmosphere?” he asked grabbing one of the cups resting on the bar.

“Something is missing here.” Sam pushed his lips to the side speaking of things everyone noticed “It’s...too quiet.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Tony released his grip on the mug, resting it on the table

Yes Sir?

“Where are the rest of us?”

If you are speaking of Miss Maximoff, Miss Romanoff and Miss Y/L/N they are still in bed.

“I know I buy the best beds, but this is a bit too much.” Tony got up and walked over to Wanda’s room, knocking on the door. He waited for an answer, but none was given. His head pocked in just for his eyes to be met with emptiness.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. where are they?” Tony stomped over to your room, which was in the same condition maybe a bit emptier since you were a new arrival

In Miss Romanoff’s room Sir.

“All of them?” Steve pushed his hips off the counter, tall figure stalking after Tony.

Yes Sir.

  The door slid open and Steve almost choked out a loud laugh at the sight. The three of you were cuddled up like stray cats trying to keep warm during the cold winter days, waiting for an owner to come and pick you up. Hands pushing his lips closed, Steve snuck in closing the open window. As simple as the action was it released a calming moan from one of you, the space already getting warmer.

“I don’t have the heart to wake them up.” Bruce announced with a cheerful whisper 

“Yeah, keep them like that.” Sam pulled out his phone and started taking pictures

“What are you doing?” Bucky’s body leaning onto the doorframe, the newest member to this room-visit

“What does it look like tin can arm?” clicking sounds bouncing off the wall “Getting some dirt on Nat. The amount of blackmail material she has on me is too much.”

“Ok, you had your fun bird brain.” Bucky grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled the phone way from your resting figures, specifically you.

“Calm down you two.” Steve tried to pull them away and out of the small space

“What got your panties twisted?” Sam’s body stood up confidant, clenching the muscles being wrapped by the cold vibranium plates “The Winter Soldier look is showing on that smug face of yours.” The dark glistening skin pushed closer to Bucky as he was almost picking a fight “ Shit, if I didn’t know better I would say someone was whispering them trigger words of yours.” 

  Sam finally had something to use for revenge, but this whole righteous behavior of Bucky was spoiling his fun. The rest of the guys felt the pressure accumulating around the menacing men “Zhelaniye and Semnadtsat something like that right? Oh wait that is right~...Wakanda whipped your ass clean.” The awful Russian accent awoke Natasha, but feeling the heavy air she decided to wait her time to get those pictures back. Sly one.

 The words were loud enough for everyone to wait for Bucky’s reaction.

“Rzhaviy or some shit li-“ the word crept inside your ear together with the sentence beforehand. Your left hand decided that the position it was in wasn’t comfortable anymore, swinging your left foot in the opposite direction. Hands pushing off the bed with a rough creek, let your left knee hook onto Sam’s neck – body hanging like a chain in front of him. Your fingers didn’t waste time to snake around his own calves pulling them up.

“Wha-!” Sam gasped when the heels of your feet pushed his shoulders back – head hitting the soft carpet with a loud thud and grunt. There was no time to take a breath for the poor man before your arms locked the air in his throat.

  Natasha grabbed the phone quickly and deleted whatever she could find about herself, while everyone else sat stunned.

“I give- I give- up!” Sam tried squeezing the words out of his mind as he began tapping the floor and your elbow.

“I got the pics Y/N.”Nat waved the phone at you, but your hands began to tighten around his neck. Sam was starting to turn colors his skin wasn’t supposed to have.

“Y/N!” Bucky growled out loud and commanding, shacking up the whole room. It felt like a bubble popped from in front of you, body jolting at the voice.

“Ha?” your lips fell open as your body relaxed, letting Sam finally suck in so much ai,r the covers on Natsha’s bed almost went inside his mouth. Your jaw closed just so your throat could swallow a bit of spit seeing as it was feeling dry, before it opened back up. Sam’s body heat pulled your gaze down to him when you started to register the situation.

“Oh God!” you pulled away from him, apologies spilling out of you, too many in a second “I was sleepwalking again!”

  Dumbfound, that was exactly the expression on everyone’s face hearing you say that. You were used to your nightly habits, even your family found it natural at this point.

“Usually when I have nightmares I either mumble or sleepwalk.” Trying to explain yourself didn’t change what everyone was feeling.

“OW!” Steve screeched out upon feeling Tony’s fingers pinch his arm

“I am not dreaming am I? You all saw that too.” He felt Cap swat his hand away sending a warm wave of pain through his limb

“Test it on yourself next time!” he hissed

“I call that sleep fighting not walking.” Bruce pitched in feeling left out “You are trying to tell us you are…used to this?” your head nodded, roughed up hair flying back and forth

“My mom calls them night terrors. Tried to get help for it, but I guess the only one who could help me was my uncle. One of the reasons why I spend so much time with him.” You grinned trying to get out of this mess as fast as possible with less casualties

“I am stopping this now.”Tony threw his hands in the air “I am not awake enough to deal with all this...and that tiny assassin.” You followed him hastily to the kitchen whipping yourself a cup of tea and flying over to one of the seats. The rest of the Avengers followed your stumbling figure out of the room – slow steps, a mix of amazement and confusion, pain for some. Sam sat on the couch pretty far from you, keeping quiet. Your eyes scanned the room waiting for someone to say something or to cut the thick atmosphere with a butter knife.

“Can I take Y/N over from Nat?” Steve was the hero in this moment . Tony waved his hand, swallowing his almost cold coffee

“Do what you want, I am not capable of decisions right now.” The screeching floor yelped under the chair’s feet. Sam followed Bucky out the room, after Tony announced his departure. 

“Come with me kid.” Steve’s heavy yet warm hand fond your tense shoulder muscles. Your body jumped and followed the man like a small chick behind its mother. You ran to your room taking a quick shower, a dash of deodorant and putting on workout clothes. Washing yourself before sweating made no sense, but the warmth tended to relax you. Taking into consideration the amount of stress you were feeling for awhile now – it felt good.

  The gym was maybe 3 levels before the floor you lived on, information revealed to you in the not so comfortable awkward ride with the elevator. The doors slid open unveiling a whole new world. Stylish…there is nothing you could say at this point but Tony owned it, it talked for itself. Steve told you to leave the duffle bag onto a bench and come to the equipment. 

“Have you used any of these?” he pointed at the machines and you shook your head. You knew about them from youtube videos and maybe 1 or 2 gym visits, but saying up right being able to use them properly was questionable. “Ok, let’s start with a quick evaluation of your body’s capabilities.”

  With the corner of your eyes you could see Bucky lifting an absurd amount of weights – super soldier let’s not forget that again. You started first with the bar without anything on it, before Steve began adding. You were struggling, which made him know when to stop piling stuff and changing the muscle groups. What felt like 2 hours later he gave you a small break, walking over to his friend to spot him.

  A dust cloud swirled around the metal arm before the weights floated in the air. Once more finding yourself eyeing him head to toe – his arms were glistening from the sweat droplets forming onto them. The t-shirt was tightly clinging on his muscles like glue was applied to them previously. His hair fixed to patches of his lovable face. That untamed beard and ice blue eyes made his existence mirror that of a Greek God statue. Fingers tingling around your water bottle unknowingly wishing to touch him, before noticing Steve walking up to you – not before Bucky’s eyes met yours for a split second for who knows what time.

“He is a killer diller aint he.” The blonde snickered at your flushed face, being caught staring. Taking a quick drink from your bottle ,you stood up and threw it to Steve

“Grandstand.” you coughed out at the man leaving him stunned in place from what just erupted from your mouth “You coming?” you coaxed him successfully.

  Aside from the small playful teasing Cap tried to play on you,F on his best friend’s back - training was though. He wasn’t going easy on you, ass hitting the floor one too many times for your liking. You could already feel the bruises coloring your skin a midnight blue with a hint of a bloody red.

“Time out!” puffing out the words with the last liter of air left inside your lungs “I-I can’t Steve.” The dull thudding sound your legs made hitting the mat echoed in the big gym. It was loud enough to wake up the dead.

“That is enough for today. You did surprisingly well. Don’t you think Mr. Grandstrand?” a towel flung on top of your head turning off the lights in your mind. With a trembling hand you pulled it off to look at the one and only Sergeant, looming over you. Steve’s words summoned a low groan from Bucky filled with annoyance.

“Hey now, don’t snap your cap.” A type of teasing only possible between friends gone through decades and countless near death situations. The towel was soft enveloped in a calming and nostalgic smell. Having gained some of your strength back, your palms pushed off the floor with a fling. For a moment your demeanor mirrored that of Steve, calmly tapping Bucky’s back and throwing him a playful look, that of years long pals.

“Come on cap, don’t tease him that much. He gonn’ flip his wig soon.” The sentence dripping with a heavy old school Brooklyn accent. No war could prepare them both for this one sided conversation they just witnessed.

“Did she just?” Bucky pointed at you, finger hovering in the direction of your disappearing body silhouette.

“I don’t know man.” 

[coppicefics]

Masked Omens: Week One

New chapter here, or read from the start here!

(Right click picture and select ‘View Image’ or ‘Open Image In New Tab’ for hi-res version.)

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads 'Masked Omens'.

Image 2 - A newspaper page from the Capital Herald, dated Saturday, 26th December, 2020. Full image description and transcription below the cut.]

The Capital Herald, Saturday 26th December 2020 News, page 11

GODLEIGH MANOR RESTORATION SET TO BEGIN YouTube Community Comes To The Rescue Of Historic House In Unprecedented Donation Spree Restoration work on Godleigh Manor, Little Dyvyn, is set to proceed at last after years of stagnation – thanks to an unexpected influx of donations from interested members of the public. A house has stood on the site since at least the early 13th century, but most of the current building was constructed in the 18th century by its then owner, Lord Michael Godleigh. It remained a private residence until 1914, when it was commandeered as a military hospital for officers injured in the First World War. When the war was over, the officers went home, but the Godleigh family had suffered severe losses, and those who had been involved in treating the injured officers had many bad memories associated with the place. What was left of the family moved out, and – barring the operation of a second temporary hospital during the Second World War – this once-busy house has remained empty and silent ever since. Left to its own devices, the house began to crumble. Water found its way through the roof, and weeds forced their way up through the floor. By the time the deed to Godleigh Manor was passed on to its current owner, Lucy Godleigh, in the mid-1990s, barely a few rooms were anything close to habitable. “I set up in a mobile home on the grounds,” Godleigh told The Capital Herald, “and basically just started trying to secure the few rooms that hadn't been completely exposed to the elements. Then I contacted a restoration expert to find out what could be done for the rest of it.” The experts' verdict wasn't what she wanted to hear. “There was no chance I could pay for it myself. The rest of the family opposed me moving back here; I was on my own. And to get the whole place back to the way it was, we were looking at anything from fifty million to three hundred million pounds. I was going to need help raising the funds, so I started campaigning. But it was slow going. Nobody's keen to put their hands in their pockets to restore a stranger's old family pile.” And, for over two decades, it seemed that a pile would soon be all that was left. Godleigh moved into Little Dyvyn, and the property was abandoned once more to the tender mercies of the elements and the frequent trespassers who came to explore. “I'd go up a few times a week, but it hardly seemed worth it. I'd all but given up. But then one of those visitors saved the day.” A YouTube personality known as Sergeant Shadwell, famed for his urban exploration videos and the occasional paranormal investigation, contacted Godleigh to ask to film in the house. “I said yeah, whatever, do what you like, it's a mess,” Godleigh recalled, “and he saved it. He saved my home.” Shadwell uploaded a video of Godleigh Manor in the last week of November. In it, he speaks frankly about the challenges and benefits of preserving such old buildings. “I don't know about there being ghosts here,” he tells viewers, “but there's a lot of wasted potential. Stately homes like this can and should be used, and it'd be a real shame for this one to crumble. I'll add a link to the fundraiser in the video description.” The Wytchfynder Army, as Shadwell's fans call themselves, have so far contributed £80m to the Save Godleigh Manor campaign. The fundraising page is filled with messages of encouragement and support, attached to donations ranging from £5 to £1500. Some donors have even explained that they raised the money through sponsored swims, bake sales, and car washes. “It's enough to get started, to make a really good start,” Godleigh explained, “I can't thank him – all of them – enough. They really came together to help me – a complete stranger – and it means so much, it really does.” So what's next for Godleigh Manor? First, says Godleigh, the surviving rooms will need to be stablised. Then the house's ground floor will be restored to its former glory, and Godleigh hopes to work with local historians to ensure that it is both a functional and educational space. “I won't charge people any more to use it than I need to cover the cost of maintaining it,” Godleigh said. “How can I? It's being restored by this huge community; it belongs to the community, and to Little Dyvyn. It's going to be a great space for everyone to enjoy.” Work is now set to begin on the Godleigh Manor restoration project as early as April this year, depending on local planning committee approval of plans first drawn up in 1998. MARY HODGES. To find out more, or to contribute to the renovation costs, visit www.savegodleighmanor.org.uk.

[Image Description: A sepia photograph of a large, grand house. Inset, a colour photograph of a hole in a wall, through which weeds can be seen growing. End ID.] [Caption] NEGLECTED: Godleigh Manor, pictured above in 1980, was once the heart of a thriving community. Inset, weeds grow in what used to be a service corridor to the rear of the main building. (Photo: Annie Spratt on Unsplash. Inset: E. Diop on Unsplash.)

THE NEWS IN NUMBERS 800 years of a house on the site 300 years in its current form 23 generations in the same family 29 bedrooms 40 acres of land £50m lowest estimated renovation costs £300m highest estimated renovation costs 198k subscribers to Wytchfynder 291 Wytchfynder videos 10 years Sgt Shadwell served in the Army £80m raised by the Wytchfynder Army £91m renovation funds raised so far 15 years estimated to complete renovation

[Image Description: a rectangular ad with a picture of Dr. Raven Sable. His name is signed beneath his photograph. Text reads: Don't settle for a balanced diet when you can have a SABLE DIET. End ID.]

Corner Cuppa with Esther James

[ID: Photo of a young woman's face. She has black hair cut into a bob, and slightly gothic makeup. End ID.]

Why do we know you? I'm the captain of the Red Roses, which is the England Women's Rugby Team. What are you passionate about? Rugby! Also, my girlfriend Jane (Adams, also on the squad), and my charitable causes, of course. I support the NSPCC and the Albert Kennedy Trust, in particular - both fantastic charities helping young people who've been let down, in many cases, by the people they should most be able to rely on. I'm really glad to be involved with them. What's your favourite holiday of the year? Pride! I love getting dressed up and going to the parades – most of the time Jane and I get to march, these days, which is great. Last year we even got to ride on a float at one of them, which was really surreal – we got to cover ourselves in rainbow feather boas and just have a laugh waving at people. What a great time! What's been your proudest moment? So far, it's a tie between coming out as bi in a press conference – which was really scary at the time but which led to such good things and such good conversations – and being made captain of the Red Roses. It's an honour just to be selected for the national side, but to be chosen to lead from such a talented group of women is even better. I was walking on air for a week! If you could do anything in the world once, what would it be? Only once? I'd hate to do something and enjoy it and never get to do it again. But, OK, hypotherically... Something completely different and mad, like getting up on a stage and performing a song like I really mean it, or bungee-jumping. What scares you? Bungee-jumping! Which is exactly why I'd like to do it. I think it's good to get out of your own head and your own comfort zone and just do something that scares you, if you can. What's your ideal day? Taking a day off of training and just lying on the sofa watching films with Jane for the whole day. We love what we do, but we don't get a lot of downtime to just relax and snuggle. But then, when we do get a day off, it's usually at the same time, so that's lovely; we're always together and it hasn't started getting on our nerves yet! If you could go anywhere in the world right now, with no complications or restrictions, where would you go? I've always wanted to go to the Eiffel Tower, but somehow whenever I end up in France I don't find the time. Jane's never been to Disneyland, so I think we'd have to combine the two if we got a no-holds-barred trip somewhere. And, obviously, I wouldn't exactly hate getting to meet Mickey again! What's the best advice you've ever been given? My gran was as tough as old boots, and proud of it. She once sat me down, when I was quite young, and she said, “Essie,” which is what she called me, “Essie, you'll do all right in life if you remember this simple rule. Make sure you keep your nose clean, but don't be afraid to get your boots dirty.” I'm not sure she meant me to take it quite so literally! But I think what she meant was, don't get into trouble unnecessarily, but don't be so scared of getting it wrong that you can't do anything right. That's stuck with me, I've held onto it all these years, and I think it's a good motto to live by. What's one thing you wish someone had told you when you were younger? I wish they'd told me it was OK that I fancied girls, that things were getting better. I think we've still got a long way to go, as a community, but I never could have dreamed that a bisexual woman could captain England when I was a little girl. Let alone that it would be me! Finally, what's one thing you'd like to tell younger people now? Be true to yourself, be true to your friends, and be kind. I think the world will turn out fine if we all just try to be kind to one another, above all. Next week's cuppa: Ligur Mortice, head of the Ligur fashion house.

[End of page.]

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.6

a/n: uhm... a lot happens here tbh xD its pretty long tho ;)

warnings: this cannot be read solo, a bit of harassment

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 7

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased​​ @infinite-universe-love​​ @dirtypride​ @blackymomo03​ 

The ride was quick and you were now facing the entrance of the hotel. The facade of the hotel looked like it was fresh from a Gatsby movie. Golden lights illuminated every few meters of the hotel making it glow ethereally. Counting the floors from your window, you estimated it to be 8 or 9 floors. It was extravagant. Nothing more to it.

When the car drove to the entrance, the doorman was quick to open the door once the car came to  halt. It was a surprise when Overhaul offered his arm to help you get out of the vehicle, in those killer heels, you had to accept. Biting your inner cheek, you had to admire how solid his arm was and how classy his tux felt.

The contact was short. Once he saw you were out, he wasted no second of removing his arm from your hand. Walking 5 steps ahead, you didn’t bother complaining with his actions. Somehow, it was also better this way. This gave you more opportunities to move freely.

The same doorman quickly opened the main entrance and even asked for your coat.

Once the coat was gone, you felt the chilly wind graze your back. It wasn’t too much to handle, of course. Your body just had to adjust. As you were thanking the employee, you failed to see how your companion did a double take when he saw just how classy you looked in your outfit. He would never say it but, he caught himself just before his jaw could drop any further. Thank goodness he had the mask.

“You clean up nicely.” He commented.

You matched his pace effortlessly and realized that he had just complimented you. Facing him, your mouth formed a small ‘o’ and once again, you blinded him with a smile. Strangely enough, even for him, it was satisfying.

“You just complimented me~” Your voice was playful and the cheeky grin on your face was something you just couldn’t hold back. “You look sanitized yourself.”

Underneath the mask, he couldn’t fight back the developing smirk. This would be an interesting night, he was almost certain.

Calling to mind the invitation, the event would take place in the biggest event hall the establishment had. Once you were inside the elevator, the built in LCD screen monitor showed to you which floor you had to go to. As soon as the screen was tapped, the elevators went up and the music began to play.

Of all the things your mind could have thought of, you recalled what Gei said. On how if he were to ever disappear when the food would come, you could find him in the men’s toilet. Lowering your head, you tried to hold back your laughter. It all backfired when you ended up snorting.

“What’s so funny?” Overhaul asked. His eyes remained focused on the LCD screen.

“Nothing that concerns you…” You replied. Fingers covering a portion of your mouth. Curse Gei and his imagination. Clearing your throat, you quickly changed the subject. “So, what exactly is going to happen in the gala?”

“From what I have gathered, the head of the Fukuo Kai wants to gather a few villains to join him.”

“How would he do that though?”

The doors opened and both of you were now facing a hallway, letting you step out first, he followed shortly. Both of you walking side by side, with a safe distance in between. The hallway floors were carpeted red and the entire area smelled of roses. Noticing that he was still silent, he was probably thinking what ways the boss could gather people.

“It would probably depend on his mood.” He finally answered.

When the event hall was now in front of you, rope barriers lined up showing you where to go. Though there was really no need since it was just a straight walk from where you stood. There was a golden podium with 2 uniformed staff ready to greet you both.

“Names?” The taller one asked.

“Shinoda.” Overhaul answered.

Now that you heard him saying a name, it had dawned to you that the profile you had for him did not include his real name. Surely that wasn’t his real name. The way he said it so nonchalantly made it look so natural. What was his name? It would be a rather personal question to ask and that was something you weren’t ready for. Not yet, at least.

When the doors were open, the soft classical music serenaded your ears. The lights were dim but the spotlight on the stage was bright as ever. Tailing behind your partner, he brought you to a high top bar near a large window. He thought it would be a good vantage point to quietly observe people.

A waiter came by and filled your water goblets up. Observing the room, there were still plenty of vacant tables. It had only been 20 minutes since you left the house, so there was still 40 left to kill.

“How did you get the invite, Shinoda?” You asked him. It was weird saying that name. Somehow, it just didn’t fit his face. “It was sent to the Shie Hassaikai.” He replied as he began to remove the strap from his right ear. Holy shit. He was actually going to take his mask off. Except, there was a gut feeling in you that didn’t want him to.

“Wait…” You managed to speak. He froze in place, his smooth cheek now partially exposed. What you'd give to see all of him but things just felt off around here. It was as if a pair of eyes were watching your every move. Playing it off as a normal conversation, you broke eye contact and surveyed the area once more. “Don’t take your mask off.”

How you told him subtly hit different. He didn’t really care if people saw him without the mask during an event like this. Yes, he’s the Shie Hassaikai boss but he preferred to stay away from the limelight. Were you actually thinking of his safety despite him being more than capable of defending himself? Either way, he placed the strap back on and watched as the hall became packed.

With the hall now jam packed, the both of you went separate ways but agreed to come back after 30 minutes.

Blending in with the group was basic to you. What made things difficult was the possibility of Akuji catching your train of thought. Trying to look for a familiar face, you were only met by stares from the guests.

“Looking for me, pretty lady?” A voice said from behind you. Turning around you were met with a man with piercing gray eyes. His hair kept back and his stubble framing his jaw. Stretching a hand, you accepted it out of courtesy. “Name’s Akuji.”

Swiftly transferring his grip to your wrist, he pulled you towards a secluded high top table. Yanking you even closer, he snaked his arm around your waist and held on to your side firmly.

“So what’s a fine lady like you doing in a gala like this?” His face, a little too close for your liking.

“I’ve heard about you.” There was no room for thinking. Whatever came to your thoughts, you had to say it. “You have a pretty strong quirk. What brings you here?”

“I have some business to deal with. You with someone, sweetcheeks?”

“My boss.”

“And who might that ‘boss’ be?” He brushed his nose on your cheek. Feeling you trying to push yourself away, he tightened his grip on your waist and pulled you in even tighter. The faint smell of mint and cigarette was not the best scent.

“Shinoda.” You promptly answered. Saving no room for complaining thoughts. “Though, he will be displeased if he sees you groping me like this. He’s quite known for his anger issues.”

“A threat?” His eyes widened with delight. Just as he was about to talk, a deep voice introduced itself. Turning both of you around, you stared at an old but muscular man. His hair gray, face a tad wrinkled, but his frame showed years of hard work. “Ah. Just who I wanted to see.”

“Still cornering women, Akuji?” The man said. He rested his elbow on the bar and eyed you. A satisfied nod followed as he looked at the man still touching your waist. “What’s your name?”

“I was instructed not to casually give my name.” That was a good one. But was it good enough? “He says not to trust anyone here.”

“Fair enough.” The old man replied. Looking back at Akuji, he cleared his throat and reached for something in his breast pocket. Extending his hand, a business card sat snuggly in between his index and middle finger. Akuji stared at the card and hummed.

“Well, it would be a pleasure~” He shortly tucked his hand and the card in his pocket. “Till then.”

It had barely been 5 minutes and the two men had already gone separate ways. Akuji, however, still kept his hold on you. His actions had changed from groping to steady up and down movements. It was evident he was enjoying the sensation of touching another woman.

“Sir,” You finally had enough. This would be the second time someone defiled you today and you were not living. “If you don’t let go of me I swear, there will be consequences.”

“Feisty.”

“Did you not hear what she said?”

Glancing over your shoulder, you were more than relieved seeing his face. But, the look in his eyes and the aura he was giving was something you had not felt before. His usual calm features were replaced with his eyebrows pulled down together. The same golden eyes you came to adore were glaring at the man holding on to you. His fingers began to play with the hems of his left hand’s glove.

“Shinoda-san!” Akuji greeted Overhaul. His palms remained glued to your dress. “What happened to that previous secretary of yours? The one with blue hair? Was he not to your liking?”

“Akuji.” Overhaul’s voice was deep and his jaw clenched. You watched as he freed his hand from the rubber confinement. “Let her go.”

You felt your mind lighten. His grip on your thoughts was now nonexistent. If your hypothesis was right, Akuji was now focused on reading Overhaul’s mind. Perhaps that was his quirks downfall, he could only do it one person at a time…

“Someone’s protective of their employee~” Akuji taunted Overhaul. Either this man was dumb or just plain fearless. Attempting to hold on to Overhaul’s wrist, he managed to read his mind and went with the left one instead. When his hand made contact with Overhaul’s exposed skin, he saw the look of hatred and disgust in his eyes.

“This is why I don’t like attending events like these.” Lifting his other hand, you saw how he had overhauled his left hand’s glove. Not wanting to catch attention or to cause a scene, you immediately ran and wedged yourself between the two men. Your palm resting on his chest as you pushed him ever so slightly.

“Enough. Shinoda-san.” You tried to calm him down. He was still focused on Akuji. Finding the courage, you managed to snake your hand and cup his masked cheek. Your hands were shaky as you had literally just invaded his personal space even more. When you managed to make him face you, you stared into his pupils and gave him a small smile. “Calm down. Not here. Please.”

Feeling his chest lower as he exhaled, his eyes darted back to Akuji.

“Don’t touch me.” Pulling his wrist away, his free hand held on to your waist as he tugged you closer towards him. “And do not ever touch her with your filthy hands.”

Putting his palms into the air, Akuji took a step back. The picture in Overhaul’s mind was one he would rather not want to read again. Ogling one more time at you, he lowered his head with a smirk before he left the both of you alone.

Allowing yourself to be dragged by him all the way back to your table, you kept stealing glances at his face. He was still angry but his level-headed state was slowly coming back. Upon arriving at the table, he still hadn’t let you go from his hold. Craning your neck to look at him, you waited for him to talk.

“Explain what the hell just happened.”

“I was trying to look for how he would gather people but then I remembered that Akuji would be here. I recalled that he could read minds and I think he used his quirk on me.” You explained. Heart beating rapidly in your chest. “I wanted to think up something but I realized that it would only result in failure.”

Now that you were talking about it, you remembered the exchange they had.

“But I got something out of it. There was this old man who gave him a business card. Perhaps it could be related?”

Rubbing the bridge of his nose with his left hand, he reached for something in his pocket and presented it to you. Your eyes widened when you saw the same one from before.

“That man you just saw was the leader of the Fukuo Kai.” Placing the small piece of paper on the table, he looked at you once more. The look and feel of his anger, gone. “Be more careful. It would be most troublesome to have to clean up any sort of mess.”

Noticing that the skin on his wrist was inflamed, you chewed on your lower lip and felt your guilt rising.

“You’re breaking out.” You pointed out.

“What are you talking about?” The arm wrapped around your waist was feeling fine.

“Your wrist. Where he touched you.”

Right. He forgot about that. Shaking his head, he brushed your statement and told you he could fix it in an instant. Freeing you from his arm, he took a step back and began to heal himself. It was only a small patch of skin so it was gone in a matter of seconds.

Taking the card, you placed it in your purse. Telling him that you got what you needed, he reached for his phone and called for the car to pick the both of you up. The air between you two began to grow more and more tense as the seconds flowed by. It wasn’t long before he received the message that the car was now waiting at the drop-off area.

Inside the elevator, the silence was killing you. The music was nothing but a nuisance.

“Are you mad?” Breaking the silence. He did not answer nor bother to look at you. “Look. I’m sorry, okay? I lowered my guard down for a few seconds and it led to all of this.”

“Learn from what just happened, (L/N).” His eyes eventually found yours. “I might not be there to help you.”

“Thank you, though.” Heat was now rising to your cheeks, you knew it. “For saving me back there.”

The doors opened and you stepped out first. As the both of you walked towards the lobby, you saw the car on the opposite side of the door. The doorman recognized you and immediately went to the back to fetch your coat. Accepting your clothing, you wished him a safe night before exiting the hotel.

Seated in the car once more, you let out a long sigh and leaned onto the backrest. Your trench coat, jacket, and your boxed heels laid in front of you. With everything that had happened, you failed to get any food in your system. The WcMac you ate had already vanished.

“Overhaul.” You were really going to do it.

“Hm?”

“I’m hungry…”

“You’re really burden, do you know that?” Lowering the partition by 2 inches, he faced you once more. “What do you want to eat?”

“Mendy’s…” If you could melt into the leather chairs, you would.

“And stuff your face with grease?” Whatever you could see of his face was etched with annoyance. But the way his pupils were a bit dilated told you otherwise. “Nemoto. Shipotle, now.”

“Shipotle?” You questioned as the partition closed. “You seriously think they’re healthy?”

“No.” He replied flatly. “But they have a decent menu offering healthy meals. Take it or leave it.”

“Fine. I won’t complain.”

After the short drive thru in Shipotle (Nemoto and Chrono also ordered but they didn’t tell), your hands were now full and Overhaul was carrying both your jackets. Quickly opening your door, you placed your food on the small table beside the door and took both your jackets from him. When you saw the jacket your boss defiled, you felt like puking and seized it in your hands.

Overhaul was standing in the lobby. Probably to say farewell.

“I have one last favor.” You lifted the piece of clothing and gestured for him to hold it. “Destroy it.”

“May I ask why?” He wouldn’t mind tearing it apart but the request was all too sudden. Something must have happened a few hours ago, he knew it.

“It’s filthy.” That’s all it took. Witnessing his quirk in action, you saw how the cloth morphed and seemingly exploded into nothing. “Wow.”

“Any more favors?”

“None that I can think of.” You beamed. Once again, you couldn’t see it but his jaw dropped underneath the mask.

“In that case,” He bowed. “I shall take my leave.”

“Good night, Overhaul.”

“And to you, (L/N).”

-----

so.... did yall like the smol interaction with bird daddy? feel free to message me if you have any questions or if you wanna be tagged :) take care!

[sinkingsidewalks]

why do memories glow (the way real moments don't)

Jemma knows how to make decisions, even big ones, especially big ones, no matter what anyone else says.

Or: Loss, isolation, and the decade it takes to get it right.

Tags: AU, No SHIELD, university, teen pregnancy, adoption, angst with a happy ending 

Read on AO3

December 2004

Jemma sat on an exam table in the school clinic, her jumper pooled around her waist, her vest sticking to the small of her back with sweat. Either the heat was turned up too high, an aggressive attempt to make people comfortable with the Massachusetts winter battering outside, or she was nervous sweating. It was probably both.

The room was small and stark, white washed walls that rattled every time a door shut in the hallway, and nothing like the family clinic her doctor back home worked out of; here there were no cutesy pictures of babies wearing flowers as hats on the walls, although maybe that would have made her feel sicker, rather than comforted. The walls were too thin, just slightly, and she could hear the rumble of voices bleeding through the wall behind her. It was her first time in the clinic, despite a year under her belt already, she kept her yearly check-ups for trips home, because the American medical system scared her. She’d heard too many horror stories from kids in her classes about getting their stomach pumped, then getting the bill. But this time she hadn’t had much of a choice.

The panic rose again. She focused on her breathing, counting each inhale and exhale so she wouldn’t hyperventilate, and the door swung open. The doctor was tall and thin, handsome for a woman, with an expression that somehow straddled caring and stern. She sat in the chair at the desk and flipped through a file. Jemma’s file.

“So based on the bloodwork, you’re probably between four and six weeks, do you know the date of your last menstrual cycle?”

Jemma’s heart froze. Her breath caught in her lungs. Her stomach clenched with nausea. “I’m pregnant.”

The doctor looked up, “I’m sorry, the nurse said you’d taken a home test.”

Jemma nodded, it made her dizzy. “I did,” she’d taken six, they’d all had the same result. “I just, I guess I was waiting for confirmation.”

“Do you need a minute?”

She shook her head, still dizzy, getting worse too. But this was just science, she could handle science. “What’s the hCG level?” The doctor looked confused so she explained. “I’m in bio.” No use explaining that she was already through one PhD and onto her second, she didn’t have time for those questions the way her stomach was threatening.

The doctor nodded, flipped through the paper again. “HCG is 427 mili-units per millilitre, which is what we’d consider normal for anywhere in the first month or so, as I’m sure you know.”

“In a healthy pregnancy hormone levels can double over the course of 24 hours.” She couldn’t wrap her head around pregnant, she couldn’t wrap her head around how she was pregnant.

“Yes, but given your medical history, there’s no need to do a follow up test. Do you remember the date of your last period?”

“The eleventh of November.” She’d had class that morning and had almost been late because she’d had to run back into her room for a tampon.

“That would put you at just over five weeks, so your due date is mid-August.”

They’d had sex three weeks, two days, and twelve hours ago, but pregnancy was based on menstruation, not ovulation, which is why it was ten months, not nine like people thought, gestational age was fertilization age plus two weeks. Ten months, forty weeks. Five weeks from forty. Her mind turned it into a fraction, 5/40 was equivalent to 1/8 which was 0.125 or 12.5%. She was twelve point five percent through and she hadn’t even known it.

She’d been silent too long and the doctor looked at her gently, “I can schedule you an appointment with a counsellor to discuss your options.”

She shocked back to her body, to the hard table beneath her and the blast of heat coming through a vent in the ceiling and the low chatter from the waiting room that she could hardly hear. The words came spilling out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying, “I can’t get an abortion.”

They both sat startled, Jemma wasn’t even sure if she believed it. She’d never had to consider it before. She figured that wasn’t what the doctor was used to hearing, she figured most girls who came in here, accidentally pregnant, wanted to get back to their classes, back to their work. It was MIT after all. That’s what Jemma wanted too, she wanted to be thinking about her lab that afternoon and the paper she was writing on bioluminescent applications, but it didn’t seem that simple, she felt like there was a variable she was missing.

“Miss Simmons,” The doctor said very gently, softer than her face indicated she was capable of, “You’re seventeen.” She paused back on herself, like maybe she shouldn’t have said that. She blinked and started again. “You have options, and I’m sure you have a bright future ahead of you. I would highly suggest you talk with a counsellor, just to make an informed decision.”

Jemma nodded, gnawed at her lip. “I have class this afternoon, then all tomorrow.”

The doctor turned to her computer, Jemma realized she didn’t actually know her name. They sat silently while the monitor loaded. She felt exhausted, like her brain was the white static on a TV, like she’d just written a four-hour test and all her thoughts had been left on the page, like she was empty.

“How about Thursday at ten in the morning? You’ll be meeting with Dr. Sanders.”

“Yes, that works. I have all of Thursdays free.” She and Fitz usually spent the day at the library studying or working on papers or lab reports. It was quieter there during the week as opposed to the bustle of the weekend, they usually snagged a whole long table to themselves and spread out with snacks. It was their main day for bookwork. She had plans to outline her final projects that week and Fitz had two reports to write that he’d been avoiding.

Her stomach dropped out from under her, like a rollercoaster cresting over the top of a hill, sending her down for the long drop, her heart in her throat and her limbs left behind.

She had to tell Fitz.

Read on AO3

[noneatnonedotcom]

Wait. Am I The Winner? (sequel to wait are we the baddies)

this was all done useing dice rolls and is based off of a quest on space battles. everything you are about to read was random chance that i gave flavor to

Jaune base stats: 2.62 (limit break 4.19 stat difference=+60) Pyrrha base stats: 2.62

Shielding for jaune =2779 (alright so maybe a bit more than normal) armor 295 (a bit more manageable)

Shielding for pyrrha=253

Jaune rolls: 1d100+10 (two-handed weapon)

Pyrrha rolls: 1d100 Off hand 1d100+10 (sheild)

The third match between Pyrrha and jaune would take place in the vale arena, much like minstrel vale also prized it’s fighters though in recent years Pyrrha had taken much of the attention away from their more homegrown champions. But one man had changed that.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT’S TIME FOR THE MOMENT YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!”

The roar of the crowd was defining, there was more than just blood on the line here. This was the two best of their generation one representing minstrel and the other vale. National pride was on the line and whether the fighters had been informed or not the losers country would be dealing with an influx of Grimm from all the negativity they’d be generating.

Minstrel couldn’t afford that. Not in its current state and so Pyrrha had no choice but to win.

But jaune couldn’t afford to lose either.

“IN THIS CORNER REPRESENTING THE KINGDOM OF VALE, MAY I PRESENT TO YOU THE COUNT OF PATCH, THE KNIGHT OF VALE, THE BIG BAD WOLF OF SIGNAL!”

The vale half of the audience went wild. But jaune’s ears picked out his girls easily, his aura enhanced senses cutting through the noise. To focus on them

That’s why he had to win, winning meant power, power could be used to gain whatever he wanted. And what he wanted was to make a better world for everyone. It was his duty as not only the last descendant of the royal line of vale.

“JAUNE ARRRRRRRRC!” But as jaune arc, lover and boyfriend to both ruby rose and yang xiao-long. So long as he was fighting for them he’d win.

He had to.

“AND IN THIS CORNER, REPRESENTING MINSTREL, THE INVINCIBLE GIRL! PYRRHA NIKKOS!”

Both fighters came out to the octagon armor on their bodies and weapons in hand.

Jaune carried eternal luminosity, a lance forged to act as a replacement weapon to crocea mors. It was a fine weapon, ruby had made it for him. Though in reality, it was more of a banner than anything else. The weapon folded out into a deployable banner woven with gravity dust. Useful when he wanted to make a statement and force others to kneel before him.

It had come up a few times in his fights against the organized crime of vale.

The real advantage was that it was highly visible. Making giving orders on a chaotic battlefield just that much easier.

The same was the case with his armor, custos solis. Made with yang in mind, and named accordingly. It was a vibrant set of armor, made up of golds, dark blues, and whites. It’s advantage so far had been that it hid his true power. His semblance having expanded his aura pool into the three-millions at this point. And there was still room to grow.

Without the armor, he’d seem utterly invincible and that’s the main reason why he wore it and compressed his aura as much as he physically could. It tricked the sensors at the very least. When he was ready he’d show the world his true power. But he needed just a little more time.

His third weapon lay on his hip, blackthorn, a sword forged of the purest hard light dust he could find. It wasn’t quite ready yet. He’d been told the purification of the metal had not been completed so it’s true power was diminished, never the less it was an exceptionally powerful tool. If somewhat costly in terms of aura usage. The thing would drain a normal person dry in a matter of seconds.

Jaune could use it all day and never get tired.

“AND NOW, WITH BOTH FIGHTERS READY LET’S SEE IT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY! LET THE FIGHT COMMENCE!”

Roll 1

Jaune: 64+10= 74 Pyrrha: 100 (Pyrrha came for fucking play!” +20=120

Jaune takes 46 damage

Jaune armor reduced to 249

She was on him immediately, her form perfect, her spear striking him from all over, though his armor took the brunt of the assault. He tried to fight back but she was like water bouncing on the balls of her feet jabbing him with her spear like a boxer.

He was sure that a normal fighter would be unable to mount a defense against her but jaune did mitigate the damage she was able to inflict with his own footwork, waiting for the opportunity to strike

Roll2 Jaune: 18+10=28 Pyrrha: 92 (get that weak shit outta here jaune, you’re fighting the champ!)

Jaune takes 64 damage

Armor= 185

She upped her game then, moving faster and fire in her eyes focusing into a single point, she was here to beat him, utterly. Perhaps to show him the power of friendship after their last fight, perhaps simply because her kingdom depended on her. It didn’t matter she had landed blow after blow, jaune needed to do something

Roll 3 Jaune: 94+10= 104 Pyrrha: 80 Offhand: 17+10

Pyrrha takes 24 damage

Shield reduced to 226

THERE!

Jaune saw an opportunity and for the first time since their last fight, the people of the world saw the invincible girl take a blow. Not a major one, but solid as her aura flashed to protect her. Under his helmet jaune sensed the aura she’d used, it was strong. Perhaps one of the stronger ones he’d ever felt. Even in comparison to qrow. But nothing more than a drop in the ocean to him

She was on him again in an instant

Roll 3

Jaune:18+10=28 Pyrrha:45 Jaune takes 17 damage Armor =168

Jaune becomes annoyed activates dust tattoos +20 to combat rolls

And she was somehow faster and stronger than before, gritting his teeth jaune pushed his aura into the dust based tattoos on his body, an unimaginable pain flowed through him but he pushed through using the extra power to thrust into Pyrrha

Roll 4

Jaune: 81+30= 111 Pyrrha: 42 Offhand: 69 (of course can’t have a jaune fight without this (._.) )+10= 79

Pyrrha takes 32 damage, jaune’s armor is removed for the rest of the fight due to 69 roll Pyrrha takes a -25 to rolls due to distraction

Pyrrha’s shielding= 194

The blow landed but to Pyrrha’s credit she managed to bring her shield against him as he hit her. The crowd went wild for some reason but jaune didn’t pay attention to them. Only to the red-faced Pyrrha in front of him. He went after her again”

Roll 5 Jaune:69 (WTF JAUNE!) +30=99 Pyrrha:93-25=68 Offhand: 90+10-25=75

Pyrrha takes 24 damage armor destroyed by the force of jaune’s blow. Jaune takes -20 from distraction, Pyrrha takes -10 from embarrassment

Pyrrha’s shield =170 She wasn’t ready for it for some reason and when the blow connected it hit one of the straps holding up her armor, jaune cursed his luck as the beautiful redhead was stripped naked before him only her boots and weapons to cover her. Trying to shake off the distraction jaune went after her again as the crowd went crazier!

Roll 6 Jaune:75+10= 85 Pyrrha:90-35= 55 Off hand:61-25= 36

Pyrrha takes 30 damage, pyrrha has had enough! Activates semblance +50 to rolls -50 to jaune’s rolls Pyrrha’s shield = 140

The blow struck well as the beautiful woman seemed more concerned with covering herself from the looks of the crowd than from his weapon. He felt bad, he really did but this was for the good of everyone. And she was a warrior she’d understand.

There was no gender on the battlefield

Apparently she agreed because she suddenly glowed with power moving faster than he could track while he felt somehow slower just by watching.

By this point, they were little more than blurs to most people and her nakedness was forgotten in favor of raw aggression!

Roll 7

Jaune:30-40=-10 Pyrrha:74+15=89 Jaune takes 99 damage Jaune’s sheild=2680

A blow that would fell lesser men slammed into him. His eyes unfocused as the flash of his own aura blinded him. He had no time to react to the now greater pain coursing through his body from both inside and outside as she rained down blow after blow on him the crowd having grown silent with awe watching the two pinnacles of humanity battling it out in the arena

Roll 8 Jaune:85-40=45 pyrrha:75+15=90

Jaune takes 45 damage

Jaune’s sheild= 2635

More and more blows hammered into him and he was being pushed back even if he was finally starting to get his guard up it wasn’t enough, he wasn’t enough to fight this goddess on the battlefield

.Roll 9 Jaune:14-40=-26 pyrrha:41+15=56

Jaune takes 82 damage

Jaune’s shield= 2553

Jaune’s angry activates limit break +60 to rolls stat difference

Was this the end? No one could doubt his power as blows that shook the stadium hammered into him both combatants were beyond human, the crowd could see it but for all of jaune’s raw power, it was no match for the skill of the invincible girl. Even so, they felt honored to be able to see this fight. Neither had ever been pushed this far before and even veteran huntsmen were shocked at the levels of power on display.

Jaune’s eyes snapped open, the wolf of signal, that animalistic part of his brain that couldn’t accept defeat that kept going no matter what the cost to himself, equal parts pride and protectiveness. genius, and stupidity.

That’s what looked at Pyrrha when those deep blue eyes opened. And Pyrrha felt small for a moment, the entire world felt small looking at the unrestrained power coming from the boy

This was the apex hunter, the thing that even the Grimm learned to fear.

This was the big bad wolf of signal and he howled his rage as he rushed her his lance thrown aside in the madness his pain brought on. His fist flying for her head

Roll 10

Jaune:1+20=21 (alright not the best way to show off your next to final powerup) Pyrrha:25+15=40

Jaune takes 19 damage

Jaune’s shield =2534

Jaune throws away his lance, draws blackthorn +25 to rolls

Mussels tore as fast as they healed as jaune no longer limited himself by how much pain he was willing to endure and the force from his punch cratered the ground where pyrrha was but a second ago.

Ultimate power vs ultimate skill

The invincible girl vs the apex predator

For a moment skill seemed to win out as she danced around the raging monster his wild swings destroying the arena as he missed. Inching closer and closer to his prey mindless of the damage and pain he was inflicting on himself, his mad howls echoing in the now stunned silent arena

And then she landed and blow

One big enough to snap jaune back to himself and for a moment he simply stood there, his mussels twitching finally aware that Pyrrha had stripped him as well at some point.

The pinnacles of humanity stared each other down nothing between them, perfection for the world to see. The audience held their breath and

Jaune started to laugh

He laughed and laughed seemingly amused at the situation

“Alright Pyrrha, I admit it, you’re more skilled then I think I’ll ever be, you’ve done it you’ve mastered yourself to a point beyond human limits.” he stalked forward and something about the confidence in him made the women (and some men) swoon at the sight.

“You’ve earned a reward,” he said as he picked up the sword that had fallen off him earlier in the fight “something that I’ve never had to do for anyone else, of course, you’ve already seen more of me than I’ve shown to anyone other than my girlfriends so that question is what to show you now,” he said with a wink and a smirk

His eyes grew dark as his sword glowed with golden beauty. A smile like the bared teeth of a predator shown almost as brightly

“Let me show you what true power looks like!”

And they were on each other again. Perfection in motion as far as the audience was concerned. A golden blade fought against the invincible girl and eventually there was only flashes of color as they danced around the arena until finally

The two stopped fighting mid-swing as the alarm signaling the aura of Pyrrha had dipped below 25%

Could she have won if this were a real battle? perhaps, perhaps not. All that could be said in this moment was that the battle was over. Jaune calmly re-sheathed his sword and picked up his lance. The two combatants shook hands both smiling though jaune’s seemed more a smirk

And then they walked out leaving the stunned audience to collect themselves.

It was five minutes before anyone had the presence of mind to cheer

It would be two hours till they stopped.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the back room Pyrrha smiled as she listened to her friends gush about the fight, yes it truly was something she supposed. The main difference between jaune and her was the amount of aura they could bring to bear, she would have to look into being more efficient in the future. But later, she wanted to spend time with her friends.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the back room jaune coughed up blood as his abused body and soul finally gave in, he struggled not to cry in pain as it felt like his body was being ripped apart from the inside. There was a price for power, always. He could reach levels of strength that none could match but it didn’t mean he could survive using those powers. His anguish was lessened as ruby placed his head in her lap and yang gently rubbed his back

He passed out shortly after.

He wouldn’t wake up for a week.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The world was shocked in the wake of their fight, overnight jaune and Pyrrha became legends. The fact that they accidentally stripped each other was morphed in the minds of all the watchers to be the fact that both fought with only their weapons and souls. That they had no added advantages or disadvantages. It was pure combat.

Something that came to be common later on as fighters sought to emulate them. Fighting naked against your opponent became a way of declaring your own power.

Jaune’s tattoos became something to emulate as well though obviously no one made their out of dust, the process was immensely painful after all. The world was divided on who was more impressive, jaune, or Pyrrha.

For his part jaune spent most of his time doing paperwork recuperating and spending time with his girls. There would be time to capitalize on his newfound popularity to advance his political career. But later. For now, jaune lay in a field of flowers watching his sister, yang and ruby play with Zwei

Life was good

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ozpin subtly played with a knight piece as he studied the board, as well as a queen. The arcs were descendants of the bastards of the royal line of vale. The very same line he’d thought he’d ended with his life as the last king of vale during the great war.

He was powerful and would be a key to winning the war, as would Pyrrha

The only question was who’s piece was he?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

here’s the next chapter of accidental villain jaune, based off of the dice rolling system for a quest on space battles. it was all random chance and i think i did pretty good with what the dice gave me. what do you think?

[timeflow]

fuck it, time to give info on mob spawning

been watching several videos & people playing minecraft and saw that a Lot of them have issues with spawnproofing builds and other things involving mob spawns, so here we go I guess

if you're not interested, scroll fast bc this post is longish

note that this only applies to java edition 1.16.x as some of these spawning rules are not the same in bedrock edition or even in java edition 1.15

GENERAL RULES

mobs can generally only spawn in an air block on top of an opaque block, which excludes partial blocks or transparent blocks like bottom slabs, open trapdoors, leaves (with one exception for this specific block), fences and gates, glass, carpet, etc, and most redstone components (redstone dust, buttons, pressure plates, etc.)

additionally, some mobs have requirements for the light level on a block, meaning they can only spawn if the light level in the air block they attempt to spawn in is below or above a certain value

note that given the way light levels work, "a distance of D blocks from a light source" means, for a distance from the light source on the x axis dx, a distance from the torch on the y axis dy, etc, then dx+dy+dz≤D, forming an octahedron shape of space where hostile mobs cannot spawn, the size of which changes depending on the light source

there are some exceptions to this rule, most notably every aquatic mob only needs to spawn within a water block in certain biomes and ignore the condition for having an opaque block underneath them, and some mobs ignore light levels

mobs cannot spawn within a radius of 24 blocks spherically around any player, and then they do not wander around if they are outside of 32 blocks from the player

mobs that spawn from a monster spawner can only spawn if the player is within 16 blocks of the spawner block, and will attempt to spawn 4 mobs every 10 to 40 seconds in a 3 block high 9x9 volume centered on the spawner block, only if there are less than 6 of that type of mob within a 9x9x9 volume centered on the spawner

mobs can only spawn in a space if they cannot be damaged within that space: for example, if there is a wither rose on top of a grass block, a cow would not be able to spawn there since it would immediately get hurt from the wither effect. likewise, mobs cannot spawn if there is not enough space for the mob to spawn, for example a zombie cannot spawn if there is a top trapdoor above an air block since it cannot fit there, however a creeper can spawn there since it is shorter than a zombie

mobs other than mooshrooms, phantoms, bats, wandering traders and their llamas cannot spawn in a mushroom island

OVERWORLD

hostile mobs can spawn where the light level is 7 or below, which basically means that any space within 6 blocks in any direction of a standard torch (excluding the torch itself) cannot have hostile mobs spawn in it in the overworld

the rates at which hostile mobs fail to spawn in the overworld is the light level on top of a block divided by 8, so a block with light level of 5 has a 62.5% fail rate, and a block with light level of 8 or higher has a 100% fail rate. hostile mob spawning additionally has a 50% chance of failing if the block has direct access to the sky (no blocks above it)

guardians can only spawn in the ocean monument's bounding box, which is a 58x58 area between y levels 39 to 61 inclusive, with no regard for the light level on the block, and only in a water block with a water block below it, regardless of whether or not it's flowing water. additionally, spawning fails 95% of the time if the block the guardian attempts to spawn in has no opaque blocks above it. to spawnproof against guardians, you can either remove all the water in the monument volume, and where there is water it must not be deeper than 1 block

slimes spawn in swamps at light levels below 7, following the same rules as other hostile mobs except that their spawn rates depend on the phase of the moon, with a full moon being a 100% chance of a slime spawning and a new moon being a 0% chance of a slime spawning, and they can only spawn in y levels between 51 and 69 inclusive. slimes additionally spawn in any slime chunks (except in mushroom biomes) below y level 40 with no regard for the light level and with a 90% chance of failure. spawnproofing against slimes in slime chunks can only be done by replacing all floor spaces with transparent or partial blocks

polar bears can spawn only in a frozen ocean or deep frozen ocean, on top of ice packed ice or blue ice, and only with a light level of 8 or above. spawnproofing against polar bears involves removing any ice blocks or keeping light levels below 8 (although this may cause hostile mobs to spawn)

passive mobs like cows, sheep, pigs and chicken can only spawn on the highest block at any given x,z coordinates, and only on grass blocks with a light level of 9 or higher in most biomes. ocelots can spawn on top of leaf blocks and grass blocks under the same lighting conditions in a jungle biome, mooshrooms can spawn only on mycelium in a mushroom island biome, turtles can spawn only on sand in a beach biome. to spawnproof against these mobs, the light level must be 8 or lower (although this may cause hostile mobs to spawn as well), or there have to be no grass, sand, mycelium or leaf blocks

aquatic passive mobs like fish, dolphins and squid can spawn in any water block with a water block directly above it, with no regard to the light level on the block, in an ocean or river biome. dolphins and squid additionally can only spawn between y levels 46 and 62 inclusive, and dolphins can only spawn in an ocean or deep ocean biome. spawnproofing against these mobs involves removing all the water in any river or ocean biome

bats can spawn in any air block below y level 63 where the light level is 4 or lower, unless the real date is between the 20th of october and the 7th of november, in which case the light level has to be 7 or lower. spawnproofing against bats involves lighting up caves and other underground areas so that the light level is above 4 in all areas

NETHER

nether mobs are primarily biome-specific, as no mob can spawn in all 5 nether biomes

zombified piglins and piglins can spawn in the nether wastes and the crimson forest on top of any opaque block at light levels 11 or lower. additionally, zombified piglins can spawn in nether fortresses in any biome. spawnproofing against these mobs involves having a light level above 11 at all blocks

hoglins spawn regardless of light level in the crimson forest. spawnproofing against hoglins can be done by either making all floor spaces transparent or partial blocks, or by creating pillars since hoglins need a 2x3 horizontal space to spawn in

magma cubes spawn regardless of light level in basalt deltas and nether wastes, or in nether fortresses. spawnproofing against these mobs involves replacing all floor spaces with transparent or partial blocks, or by making all areas have at most 1 air block vertically between opaque blocks.

ghasts can spawn regardless of light level in basalt deltas, nether wastes and soul sand valleys, and require a 5x5 and 4 block high volume to spawn in, and cannot spawn within a 16 block radius of another ghast. spawnproofing against ghasts involves making all areas have at most 3 air blocks vertically or 4 air blocks horizontally in one axis, or making the floor spaces transparent or partial blocks

skeletons can also spawn in the nether and have the same spawning rules as in the overworld, except that they spawn only in the soul sand valley and in nether fortresses, with 80% of nether fortress skeleton spawns being wither skeletons instead. spawnproofing against these mobs involves keeping the light level above 7 on all opaque blocks

blazes can spawn in nether fortresses only, and only in light levels of 11 or lower, except when spawning from a blaze spawner at which point it ignores the light level requirement. spawnproofing against blazes involves removing all blaze spawners and keeping light levels above 11 on all blocks, or using transparent or partial blocks on all floor spaces

endermen can spawn in the nether wastes and soul sand valleys, but most frequently in the warped forest, only in light levels of 7 or below. spawnproofing against this mob can be done by keeping the light level above 7 on all floor spaces, or by having a maximum of 2 air blocks between 2 opaque blocks (these opaque blocks can be blocks that endermen can pick up, but this may cause the area to slowly spawn endermen as they can remove the ceiling/floor)

striders are the only mob that can spawn in any nether biome, and on any lava block with an air block above it and a lava block below it, at y levels 31 and below. spawnproofing against striders involves either removing all the lava blocks below y level 32, or covering all lava blocks below y level 32 with any block (flammable blocks will work for this, but only if gamerule doFireTick is off)

END

in the end, only endermen spawn repeatedly, as the only other mobs, the ender dragon and shulkers, only spawn once. endermen follow the same rules as in the overworld and the nether

hope this can be helpful to people!

[things2mustdo]

Bigger muscles, fat-loss, and a heightened sex drive are probably the first things that come to mind when you think of testosterone. But did you know that your testosterone also determines your mental health? Or that it determines your risk tolerance and how you show up against competition? That’s right.

In this article, I’ll discuss 4 little-known benefits of having optimal testosterone levels. See which ones affect you and which ones don’t.

Sign #1 – Sharp memory

In this study, men with higher levels of testosterone scored significantly better on tests of visual and spatial memory. These results were mirrored in another study where researchers randomized 37 subjects to receive either a weekly dose of testosterone or placebo for 4-weeks. After 4-weeks, the men receiving testosterone treatments scored significantly better on tests of verbal fluency.

How does testosterone impact brain health?

Well, preclinical observations assert that testosterone protects brain cells against damage and decay. This is why brain fog, memory loss, and difficulty concentrating are some common symptoms of having sub-optimal testosterone. This is also why men with lower levels of T have an increased incidence of Alzheimer’s disease.

To ensure that your brain maintains optimal health and function into old age, it’s important that you start taking the steps right now to achieve and maintain optimal testosterone levels for years to come.

Sign #2 – Positive outlook

Have those Monday blues turned into an everyday thing? If so, chances are that sub-optimal testosterone levels are a contributing cause. In this meta-analysis spanning over 16 scientific studies and more than 900 subjects, researchers came to the conclusion that testosterone exerts a significant positive impact on mood.

On the flip-side, low levels of testosterone have been found to be a major contributor to depression. And when depressed men are given testosterone treatments, they report significant improvements in mood.

All-in-all, your testosterone has a significant impact on your mood. If you feel like you’ve lost your zest for life, it’s important that you get your testosterone level measured to figure out your room for improvement moving forward.

Sign #3 – Increased risk tolerance

In this study, researchers brought in 154 subjects (78 men, 76 women) and had them engage in a gambling task. Blood samples were collected before the experiment. Across the board, both the men and women with higher levels of testosterone engaged in a greater amount of risk.

In this study on MBA students, the ones with the highest levels of testosterone chose the riskiest careers. And finally, in this study on financial traders it was revealed that a traders early morning level of testosterone accurately predicted his profits for the day. High risk equals high reward, and the traders willing to engage in the highest amount of risk also set themselves up for the greatest amount of profit.

Now, of course taking risks comes with a potential downside – that’s what makes it a risk – but without risk there is no growth. Taking risks is what’s allowed mankind to conquer the world, build nations, and even land on the moon. No great feat was ever accomplished without some element of risk being involved. What risk are you procrastinating on that has the possibility of taking your life to the next level?

Sign #4 – Competitive drive

In this study, men were brought in to compete in a rigged 1-on-1 competition. Blood samples were collected before and after each loss. Results revealed that the men who experienced a spike in testosterone after the loss were more likely to choose to compete again compared to the men who experienced a drop in testosterone.

In a study on university tennis players, it was revealed that the players with the highest pre-match testosterone levels reported the most significant positive effects on mood. Also, the post-match T-levels rose higher for the match winners compared to the match losers. Furthermore, the rise in T induced the winners to be even more focused and motivated for the next round of competition.

In biology, this is referred to as the winner-effect and it was first demonstrated in mice. Right off the bat, a smaller and weaker mouse is unable to overcome a larger and more dominant opponent. But, when a smaller mouse is allowed to win against a drugged mouse of similar size, his chances of overcoming the larger and more dominant mouse in the next round of competition increase – despite no improvement in fighting ability. The reason? Winning the first round of competition causes the mouse to experience a spike in testosterone, which increases his focus and drive for the next round.

The winner-effect occurs in humans as well. Overcoming obstacles and setting personal records induces a  testosterone increase which, in turn, makes us more focused and motivated in the next round of competition.

Testosterone is the fuel to your competitive drive and the winner effect is a feedback loop that feeds into this drive to make you more aggressive and dominant in each subsequent encounter.

The winner-effect could, however, easily go the other way. Each winning encounter could spike your testosterone levels to the point where your estimation of your abilities become exaggerated and impair your decision making. This is why media commentators have mentioned the winner-effect as a possible cause of the 2008 financial crisis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP6Th1Gi-lQ

Conclusion

Yes, testosterone determines your ability to gain muscle, lose fat, and express your sexuality but its true impact extends far beyond just these three areas. Your mental health, your outlook on life, your tolerance for risk, and your ability to show up against competition are all factors impacted by the amount of testosterone running through your veins. Maintain optimal testosterone levels and you’ll maintain your health, well-being, and virility well into old age.

https://www.returnofkings.com/163166/5-myths-about-testosterone-that-seriously-need-to-die

Testosterone is what makes a man, a man. In a society that’s increasingly lacking a positive masculine identity, testosterone has become a hot topic of discussion. Today, I will dispel five of the most common myths associated with the master male hormone.

Myth #1: Declining Testosterone Is Primarily a Result of Aging

Although older age is correlated with lower testosterone levels, aging is not the cause of low T.

I’m sure that you’ve read or heard about the, now famous, Massachusetts Male Aging Study. If not, here’s a quick recap: Researchers found that average testosterone levels in men across the American population dropped by 1.2-1.3% every year from 1987 to 2004 (1). Assuming that this trend has continued at the same pace, the average 40 year old in 2018 has 40% lower T-levels than the average 40 year old did in 1987. In other words, the generational decline in testosterone is taking place independently of age.

In another study, Australian researchers recruited 325 men between the ages of 40-97 with self-reported excellent health. Nine blood samples were collected from each participant over the course of 3-months. When looking at the data across the entire sample size, age had no effect on testosterone (2).

The lesson? You can maintain optimal testosterone levels, no matter how old you are.

Myth #2: Only Older Guys Have to Worry About Low Testosterone

Just like older men write off their “low T” as an inevitable part of aging, younger guys think that youth is what keeps them immune to it. The truth is guys as young as 20 are suffering from sub-optimal testosterone levels.

There is currently no published research on the decline of T in men under 30, but there’s no shortage of anecdotal evidence:

Scott had a total T-level of 273 ng/dL at the age of 25 (source).

Oskar had a total T-level of 297 ng/dL at the age of 18 (source).

At 24, my total testosterone level came out at 564 ng/dL. This is a level that falls well within what’s considered the “normal range”. Still, I could barely crawl out of bed each morning, I was skinny-fat, and my sex drive was nowhere to be seen. Since taking the steps to naturally optimize my T, all of these symptoms have completely disappeared.

Any man, regardless of age, can have sub-optimal T. I highly recommend that you have your blood work done at least once per year to get an idea of where you stand and where you need to be.

Myth #3: The Only Way to Increase Testosterone Is With Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT)

Is TRT effective at raising T? Of course. Is it the only way to raise T? Hell no.

I naturally increased my total testosterone level from 564 ng/dL to 902 ng/dL and it was all by making simple changes in my diet and lifestyle. My beef with TRT comes down to the fact that it’s basically a band-aid approach. TRT addresses the symptoms of low T while completely ignoring the root cause of low T, which is usually a sub-optimal lifestyle.

When something as simple as sleeping more can boost T-levels by more than 60% (3), is it really wise to jump the proverbial TRT gun before taking the steps to optimize your lifestyle?

Now, I know that a lot of you have had great results with TRT. The thing is, though, that your body is still unable to produce testosterone. And with so much exogenous T coming in, your body has completely shut off its own natural production.

In other words, once started on TRT, you’re effectively chained to using the treatment for the rest of your life – or for as long as you care about getting a boner. Before trying to get a prescription for TRT, fix these 5 lifestyle factors.

Myth #4: Having High Testosterone Increases Your Chances of Developing Prostate Cancer

In the early 40s the medical community began to ascribe prostate cancer as a result of high testosterone. This assumption came from a single medical case study where a patient’s prostate cancer regressed after he was castrated.

Since then, a meta-analysis of 18 studies involving 5,091 patients with prostate cancer and 11,930 controls has reported that there is no link between endogenous testosterone levels and prostate cancer (4).

Myth #5: High Testosterone Makes You Angry

This is a myth mostly peddled by effeminate SJWs and feminists, but it could not be further from the truth. In a study of adolescent boys, researchers found that the boys with the highest levels of T were considered the most socially adept amongst their peers.

And the boys with lower levels of T? They were the ones most prone to the expression of aggressive behavior. They were also failing in school and unpopular with their peers.

Researchers concluded that testosterone levels are positively correlated with social success rather than with physical aggression (5). In another study, men suffering from low T were given testosterone treatments after which they experienced a significant reduction in tension and anger (6). All of this brings us to the conclusion that it is in fact low T that leads to the expression of negative emotions.

This shouldn’t be surprising given the fact that depression is a known side-effect of low T (7) and that anger, hostility and irritability are frequently observed in men diagnosed with depression (8). Could it be that low testosterone is a contributing factor to the expression of toxic masculinity? That low testosterone is contributing to the violent outbursts of anger we so commonly see in the news?

Conclusion

Age is not an excuse. Prescriptions aren’t your only option. High testosterone won’t give you prostate cancer and it won’t make you angry. The fact that you’re reading this right now means that you’re unplugged from mainstream consciousness.

As such, don’t fall for these mainstream myths. Take charge of your hormonal health and become the man you can be.

https://www.returnofkings.com/68664/3-reasons-low-testosterone-is-dangerous-for-your-health-and-what-you-can-do-about-it

The following article was sponsored by Bill Hamzi

Some of the common signs of low testosterone are fatigue, lethargy, erectile dysfunction, creaky joints, irritability, depression, difficulty concentrating, and loss of muscle mass combined with weight gain. If you are experiencing these symptoms, you may need to get your testosterone checked. In fact, there is an ongoing low testosterone epidemic in many Western countries: 50% of men over age 40 have low testosterone, and that skyrockets to 80% of men over 50. Most men are not aware of this, accepting these symptoms as “getting old.”

I personally started having symptoms including erectile dysfunction when I hit 30. My personal low testosterone horror story then ensued and left a shattered marriage in its wake. Fortunately, my story has a happy ending.

I got on a proper Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) regimen, and my erections are back, stronger as ever. I dropped 30 pounds. I bedded more than a dozen young nubile women this year alone, with no “technical difficulties” whatsoever. I have more energy now at age 35 than ten years ago. My mind is sharper as ever.

I’ve been through hell and back, and lived to tell the tale. I wrote a book about my experience, and how men can combat low testosterone without wasting precious time and money: The No Nonsense Guide To Testosterone Replacement Therapy.

By now, it should be clear what low testosterone can do to a man. But it gets worse: Low testosterone is not just an inconvenient malady to bull through. It is a very real and insidious medical condition that, at best, severely stunts your masculine potential. At worst, it ruins lives, destroys relationships, rips families apart, and ultimately increases your risk of heart attack, diabetes, brittle bones, and cancer. Here are three surprising reasons low testosterone is dangerous for your health:

1. Erectile Dysfunction Is The First Warning Sign Of Heart Disease

You may have heard that testosterone increases the risk of heart attacks. This is completely false. It’s a myth and I blow it to smithereens in Part 3 of my book. The longer your testosterone remains low, the higher your risk of heart attacks climbs every year.

Let me explain: heart disease begins when arterial plaque build up begins. It starts out slow, just a few little buildups along the arteries. A little plaque here and there is no big deal and won’t impede any blood flow through the biggest arteries.

But, the blood vessels in the penis are extremely tiny compared to the big coronary arteries around the heart. A “little plaque” within those narrow vessels may just be enough to gum up the works during a hot date. While blood flow remains perfectly unimpeded through the rest of the body, blood flow through the tiny penile capillaries may not be optimal even with smallest bits of plaque. So a “little plaque here and there” may seem like no big deal, UNTIL it starts affecting you in the bedroom.

Testosterone has a profound effect on a man’s lipid profile by increasing fat metabolism and optimizing endothelial function. Low testosterone decreases fat metabolism, impairs endothelial function, reduces the production of HDL, a good cholesterol. These cascading effects allow LDL, a bad cholesterol, to increase as well as enlarge LDL particle size. This promotes arterial plaque in many men beginning as early as age 20 to 25. In fact, recent studies (like this and that) show that by raising your testosterone from below 350 to over 550, you decrease your heart attack and stroke risk by over 30%!

2. Lower Testosterone Levels Increases Risk Of Prostate Cancer

The testosterone-causes-prostate-cancer is a widely-believed myth that has been disproved by recent studies. In fact, the lower your testosterone levels are, the higher your risk for prostate cancer. Recent studies thoroughly debunk this long-standing myth. A report in the Urology Times by Wayne Kuznar also asserts that there is no link between TRT and prostate cancer.

As Dr. Yassin puts it, we’ve experienced a “paradigm shift in the last decade that testosterone replacement therapy does not cause or increase the incidence of prostate cancer.” Prostate cancers are sensitive to changing concentrations of testosterone when the testosterone levels are very low. However, once the prostate tumor is saturated with testosterone, adding more testosterone will have little, if any effect, on the tumor growth.

In addition, nearly 45% of men with hypogonadism had prostate cancer in Dr. Yassin’s study, “meaning that hypogonadism offers no protection against prostate cancer. Patients with lower testosterone values had higher staging and higher [prostate cancer grade] scores,” he said. Furthermore, his study concludes that testosterone replacement therapy is safe in hypogonadal men.

3. More Men Are At Risk Of Osteoporosis Due To Low Testosterone

The fact that we have lower testosterone than our own grandfathers shows how sad the state of affairs are today. To make matters worse, osteoporosis is becoming an increasingly important public health problem. The main cause of osteoporosis in men is testosterone deficiency, according to this WebMD article. A NIH publication also lists low testosterone as one of the causes of osteoporosis in men.

An essential hormone to support bone density is estrogen, and in men, some testosterone converts to estrogen in order to maintain strong bone mass and density. When testosterone falls too low, there isn’t enough testosterone to be converted to estrogen, so bones begin to weaken. Given that testosterone usually decline by 1% per year in aging men, it is not surprising that bone mineral density also declines by 1% per year as per this study.

As a young man, osteoporosis may be one of the last things in your mind right now, but with low testosterone levels left unchecked, you can look forward to a future of unexplained fractures, being confined to a wheelchair, and watching your retirement savings get drained by a constant stream of five-figure medical bills. Sustaining your testosterone at healthy levels help maintain strong bone density to support an increased muscle mass, along with experiencing a myriad of other immediate benefits. Multiple birds with one stone.

How I Fixed My Low Testosterone

Now, you cannot just walk into a doctor’s office, get on testosterone, and be done with it. So many men do TRT all wrong, making their condition even WORSE than before they started.

First, some doctors may not order all the necessary prerequisite baseline tests before starting their patients on TRT, or will they adequately monitor patients on TRT. This is a grievous mistake that may mask other health problems or root causes of low testosterone until it’s too late. Second, many men are on ineffective and/or expensive forms of TRT such as gels or patches. Third, many men are dosing testosterone incorrectly, potentially causing their estrogen levels to climb to unhealthy levels, leading to man-boobs or an enlarged prostate. These problems arise from doctors who don’t really know what they are doing with respect to TRT:

In my book, I explain how to do it the right way, and make it work for YOU. Indeed, one of the hardest parts of getting on a TRT protocol that works is finding a good doctor who knows what he is doing. Here’s a brief recap of what you get from my reading my book:

A thorough explanation behind low testosterone levels: causes and symptoms.

Lists of blood tests to help you and your doctor make a full diagnosis and treatment plan.

Options for your TRT regimen, and how to tailor them to yourself individually.

How to navigate a broken healthcare system to find the best TRT doctor for you.

Your TRT Toolbox: An information-packed system to manage your own TRT.

The No-Nonsense Guide to Testosterone Replacement Therapy is currently available on Amazon, and will soon be available in other electronic formats as well as in print. Also visit TRT Guide for more information on Understanding Lab Tests, and don’t forget to subscribe to my blog for periodic updates on the book’s availability, new studies on testosterone, and how TRT has been working for many men around the world.

[justanalto]

i was tagged by the wonderfully sweet @besidemethewholedamntime -- thank you so much!! <3 <3 <3

1. What is the color of your hairbrush?

I have a wet brush that’s bright blue, but I also have a hairbrush that’s red!

2. Name a food you never eat

uhhhh...olives, but only when they’re on their own. 

3. Are you typical too warm or too cold?

I’m always too cold. always, always, always. my fingers are currently freezing and so are my toes. I think it’s because there’s a loose draft in my room here somewhere, TBH. 

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

roses are red // 45 minutes ago // i was writing poetry // and answering all my asks in a row

i’ve been sending people asks in poetry form and they’ve been responding, LOL -- so there’s been a lot of poetry brain going on!

5. What’s your favorite candy bar?

either a nice dark chocolate bar or a green tea kit kat bar!

6. Have you ever been to professional sports event?

I’ve been to a few professional baseball games! gotta get out there and have some mass sports pride. one of these days, my american football team will be good again and I will get those tickets. 

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?

some half-hearted mumble-harmonizing to pentatonix’s be my eyes, so something along those lyrics!

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

either black raspberry (s/o to campus!!) or mint chocolate chip :) 

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

a couple of sips of water, hehe

10. Do you like your wallet?

I do! It’s the first “grown-up” wallet I feel like I’ve ever had -- I bought it from camden market last year when I was in london, and it’s a nice pine shade of green and made of cork. unfortunately, because i bought it in london, it also means that it doesn’t hold american currency quite as well, but it’s okay, i make do, LOL! 

11. What is the last thing you ate?

my dad made spaghetti bolognese and I ate that with a hecking ton of bread. it was fantastic :) 

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

unfortunately, no :( i can’t remember the last time I bought new clothes. maybe january? february? before the pandemic started. 

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched?

I think...I know it was definitely a pats game, and I’m pretty sure we lost, so it’s somewhere along the lines of pats v. ravens, I think

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

extra buttery, even though it would probably murder me :’)

15. Who is the last person you send text message to?

@aleksandrachaev, and it was two thumbs-up emojis, LOL. 

16. Ever been camping?

I have! I went a long time ago, like nine years ago long ago, I think somewhere out west? I slept on an air mattress, went to an outdoor bathroom, all that fun jazz! and the bug bites, LOL. 

17. Do you take vitamins?

my mom: so you’ve got the probiotic, the vitamin c and the biotin...

18. Do you regularly attend a place of workship?

I don’t -- my dad used to go to church regularly, but other than that, I’ve never been to church and we’ve never been as a family. 

19. Do you have a tan?

i don’t know how this happened but I literally still have shorts tan from like, august. it is the middle of november, someone tell me how I got here. a couple of years ago, I burnt so badly on a trip to LA I was still seeing the tan months later, LOL. and most of the time, I have some fair flip-flop tan!

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza?

chinese, because pizza has the ability to murder me

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw?

it it’s a takeout cup, then odds are good i’m drinking it through a straw, but other than that nope :) 

22. What color socks you usually wear?

white or grey, I think? i have some funky colored ones but i’m trying to change that

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

i’m having flashbacks to a conversation I had with a friend who laughed at me for going five miles above the speed limit -- yes, I do, but only the allowed five miles above the speed limit and none more

24. What terrifies you?

oh, no, you don’t want to ask me that, we’d be here all day...being abandoned, I guess? being left by the people I care about, becoming too attached to people because they can leave and hurt me, spiders, heights, the pandemic, being hated, being alone...my own emotions, sometimes. 

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

my tubby nugget! he smiles at me, and I feel a lil better :)

26. What chore do you hate the most?

i literally could not tell you how much I hate cleaning the grout in our bathroom tile. it is a CHORE. 

27. What do you think when you hear Australian accent?

the hemsworth brothers, but also someone I met abroad who was from perth and had the same name as me, LOL

28. Whats your favorite soda?

ginger ale! 

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit drive through?

depends on where I’m hitting, tbh -- if i’m in a hurry, we’re going straight through the drive-thru. but if it’s an event, then we’ll go in! have a fun time. sit for a while and talk. 

30. What’s your favorite number?

i don’t think I have one, actually?

31. Who’s the last person you talked to?

my dad, I’m pretty sure -- we talked about pandemic unemployment assistance :)

32. Favorite meal?

sushi, or whenever my mom makes steamed chicken. (i’m realizing it’s been so long since I’ve had that chicken and now I’m sad) 

33. Last song you listed to?

for real by lana condor

34. Last book you read?

confucius jane by katie lynch, just to see if the lesbians stood up to the pedestal i’d put them on -- and hell yeah, they did! 

35. Favorite day of the week?

right now, thursdays, because thursday is grey’s day! 

36. Can you say alphabet backwards?

probably, if you gave me enough time to think about it

37. How do you like your coffee?

like i like my men -- from afar, some of them are pretty, but do I actually like them? no

38. Favorite pair of shoes?

either my gray ankle boots I got a couple of years ago or my ‘gay lesbian snow boots’ that I use when it’s snowing something awful out, LOL!

39. Time you normally get up?

i’m supposed to be up at 8 am, but I’m usually up anywhere between 9 and 10am. I...need to change that, LOL. 

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunset?

i love both! but I like sunset because I’ve never specifically woken up to see the sunrise, i’ve only seen it out of coincidence because I pulled an all nighter to do work

41. How many blankets on your bed?

three, at the moment -- a costco blanket, my college blanket and a five-below blanket

42. Describe your kitchen plates.

white with a floral border

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment.

it’s lived-in -- we have a side table that’s always at the risk of a collapsing, a power strip that runs a kettle, microwave and toaster oven (you can never run two of them at once otherwise the strip shuts off), kitchen mats that will never get rid of their crumbs and a healthy, healthy pantry!

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

either pink moscato wine or a rekorderlig cider! 

45. Do you play cards?

i used to a lot, when I was younger! when I got older I stopped finding people to be able to play them with, unfortunately. 

46. What color is your car?

silver! (even though I share it with my sister)

47. Can you change a tire?

no, but I’d definitely like to learn :)

48. Your favorite state or province?

new york or california, honestly. probably california. it’s the place I’ve felt the most free :) 

49. Favorite job you’ve had?

i’ve had a lot of internships but not a lot of jobs, but I’d probably have to say it was the one I had at dunks -- so many funny things and stories came out of it, and now I have enough barista experience to power my coffee shop fics for a lifetime! 

tagging: @agentmmayy @nazezdha321 @sadtunes @a-biochemist-not-a-bird @browneyedgenius @daisylincs @aleksandrachaev @missinglittlebritishfriend @hannahxowen @genderfluid-and-confuzled and anyone else that I missed -- you’re it!! (i’m truly sorry if I forgot you, I haven’t slept a lot in the last couple of nights fhdskjfhs) 

[nightowlfandom]

ROUND THREE- PROMPT LIST (REQUEST NOW, READ ALL OF THIS)

 So this is the THIRD installment of my “x reader” prompt list. HOORAY! In light of leaving for so long it’s made me realize that I feel dead inside without writing so, I’m gonna do it again and hopefully this time stay. Also since I don’t eat, breathe, sleep, and shit kpop and actually like some other things too, I feel it’s a good opportunity to share how I’d like various anime characters to fuck me up in more ways what one (wink wonk). I will also say I might only do “character x reader” because I am absolute shit at doing ships. It’s just not my thing and plus I love making peoples personal fantasies come true, it is a big hobby of mine. 

Also if you request a character (assuming you’re asking for an anime request)  that is portrayed as a young teenager, then most likely (scratch that, the word I’m thinking of is “absolutely”) he/she will be written in a universe as a young adult/older than 18 because I’m all about legal consent to doing the fun shit either that...or not at all. (I have to make this big because I cannot stress enough how important this rule is and if you can’t comply, then I have every right to reject your request) Don’t argue with me please.

Rules- You may choose up to 5 prompt numbers if you can’t choose, talk to me and we’ll go through it together because I’m here to capture your horny ass vision. (Example- You wanted to request 3, 4, 12, 45, and 23). Please start with telling me which character you’d like me to write for and give me some insight. (Example- You want a J-hope office AU, then explain the preface like hate to love, secret affair, cute office shit. Or let’s say for example you want something Levi Ackerman related and you talked back to him and he don’t like dat so he “punishes you” ;) ). Get it? Also I take kinder asks more often so keep that in mind, I won’t take your request if you seem rude or whatever.  

Before you ask, yes I do AUs. A lot of my entries are in fact AUs and they are actually my preferred method because who doesn’t love a good AU!!?!! But yeah do not be afraid to ask about AUs

So I usually write for k-pop groups, mostly BTS but I’m broadening my horizon sooo ayye so you can request for Got7, Winner, The Rose, Day6, EXO, if you aren’t sure what other groups I write for you can always ask! 

Anime- Attack on Titan, Black Butler, Fairy Tail, Naruto, BNHA, Kageguri, Tokyo Ghoul, Assassination Classroom, Diabolik Lovers, (ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, I freaking love Diabolik Lovers) once again if you aren’t sure, then please ask. These are just examples but I try to reach every aspect.

ANYTHING BY VOLTAGE- Kissed By The Baddest Bidder, Our Two Bedroom Story, Enchanted In The Moonlight, Butler Until Midnight, Scandal In The Spotlight,   PLEASE REQUEST IT BECAUSE AAAAHHHH I LOVE IT. I do not care which game, just tell me which guy from which game and I will make it happen because Voltage Games are a huge part of me. Just tell me which guy from which game.

Now onto the good stuff! (Also please note that some prompts won’t make sense with some characters and the only reason that is is so everyone can find something to attach to who they want) 

So this first part, is going to be what was on the previous prompt, after number 55 will be the new added on stuff just in case any one of my followers recognizes these. 

1- “How miserable must I be before you’re satisfied?”

2- “Guess I’m not cut out for this dating thing, huh?”

3-“Damnit! Do you have any idea how amazing you are?! Stop being so damn insecure”

4- “Don’t argue with me on this!!”

5- “I can’t just be friends with you…I can’t.”

6- “Do you have to be so annoying all the time?”

7- “No, you can not stay here…I don’t care that it’s raining!”

8- “Why can’t you see that I-….that I-”

9- “Stop pretending to be asleep..”

10- “ Could we go four seconds without you being annoying?”

11-“do you not know what the word ‘mine’ means?”

12- “Shhh, wouldn’t want anyone to hear us now would we?”

13- “I dare you to finish that sentence…”

14- “Someone’s a little irritable today…”

15- “We can’t all be a perfect prettyboy popstar!”

16- “You just…you just kissed me!! *Insert freaked out face here*”

17- “We’re only sharing a bed, it isn’t the end of the world.”

18- “Only make that face in front of me.”

19- “If you wanted my attention…all you had to do was ask.”

20- “I’m bored, wanna fuck?”

21- “Can’t you see that I…I…forget it”

22- “…I can’t kiss you the way I want…”

23- “It was foolish of me to think you could ever want a relationship with me…forget it.”

24- “I aim to please…”

25- “When did this topic even come up!”

26- “You’re so boring, haven’t you ever been wild?”

27- “Hm…I like when you do that.”

28- “I’m more than capable of being rough with you babe. You just watch.”

29- “Where the hell did you learn that?!?!”

30-“Well, the boys accidentally…saw that picture you sent…Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

31-“You need to be taught a lesson…”

32- “Shh, wouldn’t want the boys to hear us, now would you?”

33-I don’t understand you sometimes…but I like it.“

34- ” Don’t pretend that wasn’t on purpose…come here.“

35- ” I’m not so happy about doing a duet with you of all people…but could you at least try and not be a..” ( obviously used for kpop requests but this can be modified so don’t worry :) )

36- “Don’t pretend to care when you obviously don’t.”

37- “Am I making you nervous, Y/N?“

38-“I never thought I would see the day you actually take my advice ”

39- "Just admit you want fuck me…if you behave, I might just let you.”

40- “I…I think you’re wonderful…those horrible people you’ve dated…they didn’t deserve you.”

41- “It’s you and me, not us and them. Fuck what they think.”

42- “Oh my gosh, we didn’t…HOLY SHIT WE DID. You tell anyone and there will be one less idol in the world!” 

43- “You’re so quiet…is something wrong?”

44- “Maybe, if you beg, I might….”

45- “Go to sleep, I promise I’ll wake you up.”

46- “This could be more than just another one night stand…”

47- “It’s amazing what the internet will teach you” *casually holding handcuffs*

48- “…you deserve better, someone who cares about you.”

49- “Can’t I do something nice without being suspicious??”

50- “Finally alone…”

51- “Maybe, we could…be boyfriend and girlfriend.?”

52- “You can’t call me cute!”

53- “Have a nice sleep?”

54- “How stupid do you think I am?”

55- “ Are you shy? Around little ol me?”

... 

 56- “Is this how it’s gonna be between us, just fighting all the time?”

57- “You know after all that, you can still look at me and see something worth loving?”

58- “Avoiding me won’t fix your undying love for me, many have tried but all have failed Y/N.”

59- “Me? Self-centered? No no never!”

60- “You are the complete opposite of subtle and it’s amusing.”

61- “No! What are you afraid of?!? Why is is so hard to believe than someone like me could have feelings for you!”

62- “What did they do to you, I won’t ask again....”

63- “I want...to stay with you for as long as possible. Please...let me?”

64- “Even if I have to rip (your enemy’s name) heart out with me bear hands, I will always protect you.”

65- “What? (innocent face) I’m just massaging your shoulders.”

66- “You’re pretty cute for such a clumsy buffoon. Hmm Maybe I’ll keep you!”

67- “Hm, When you put it that way, it makes me sound like a monster.”

68- “ Oh honey, I treat you like a maid because that’s basically all you are.”

69- “Hmmm...turn your body around. Just like that, I wanna try something.” (You all saw this coming and shame on you if you didn’t)

70- “You want me to name all the reasons I love you?....We’d be here forever.”

71- “Oh baby, you’re terrible at hide and seek....but I’ll play along.”

72- “ Oh look, she finally stands up for herself...hmm. I like this side of you.”

73- “The guy you saw....isn’t me...give me a chance to change your mind.”

74-” What? Why are you crying??!! Oh for fu-”

75- “I bully you because it’s fun....no other reason really.”

76- “Why are you so breathtaking god-damnit!”

77- “I know you’ve never....done anything with anyone before...so I’m gonna make damn sure your first time is special!”

78- “ Call me cliche, but you really do look great in the moonlight.”

79- “ What’s this? A sketchbook? You won’t mind if I take a peek, right?”

80- “Shut up! I’m not blushing!”

81- “You look so...inviting all tied up.”

82- “You’re so good at taking orders. I wonder what else you’re good at.”

83- “Okay since when did getting into a fight for your honor become a bad thing?!!?”

84- “What’s the word I’m looking for?....Pet!”

85- “I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, I promise!”

86- “ Me? Y-you like me? Y/N, If you’re joking you aren’t really funny y’know.”

87- “That’s pretty bold for something whose only wearing a towel.”

88- “So you didn’t think I’d catch you looking at some other guy right in front of me?!?!’

89- “ Me? A jerk? Hm...I didn’t know you felt that way....I’m-”

90- “Okay stop it already! People are gonna think I’m bullying you if you keep sobbing like that.”

91- “Hm, do you even have friends or is hanging out alone in an empty classroom/room all you do all day?”

92- “How do you expect me to focus when you’re practically begging for me to come over there and show you who you belong to??”

93- “Let’s say...for example...I was the one who left the love letter by your door...what would you say?”

94- “Do you enjoy being bullied by me? Are you a masochist or something?”

95- “ It’s not everyday I let you be in control...enjoy it babe.”

96- “Someone’s been messing with you? Are you gonna tell me who or not?”

97- “Is my heart just some sort of game to you!?!!?”

98- “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face around here after our last....interaction.”

99- “Oh don’t stop because of me, you looked so cute dancing around.”

100- “ I didn’t know...you were so talented. You’re amazing.”

101- “ Please never give up, for me, for us...”

102- “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m hugging you.”

103- “If I can eat your cooking every day, I’ll be happy.”

104- “ What can we say....sharing is caring.” (...best paired with threesome requests but haaaayy can be used for anything else.)

105- “ You need to learn some respect...bend over.”

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me (Chapter 10)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9

Warning: mentions of sex

He Said

Boy oh boy I was pushing it that night with the phone sex but hey, she started it with her cutesy short pjs and her teasing “if I want some privacy …. to touch myself” If that isn’t an invitation I don’t know what is! And then it was like warp speed to orgasm in like 5 minutes  - or it felt like that. Just hearing her moans and the sound of her touching herself had me instantly rock hard. How was I going to hold out and go slow when she turned me on this much from a distance never mind in person!

I wondered what she thought about a “right” time to make love for the first time. I’d experienced a wide range  of waiting periods in my life, with,  at one end of the spectrum, I admit, a lot of sex on the first date not to mention one night stands in my 20s and 30s, even 40s.  At the other end were waits of many months as a teenager and typically 2-3 months in my 40s and 50s.

I certainly wanted our first time to be special and not just sex. My recent experience with Anja had proved to me that by this age, I was at last a guy who needed sex to be meaningful, to express with my body how much I cared for a woman and wanted to give her pleasure.  But did I need to be completely certain I was in love before we made love? Who was I kidding? I’d been falling for her  for almost a year by then and we knew each other pretty well so it wasn’t a sudden or new relationship – we just hadn’t been open about it all the way through. Maybe I wasn’t ready for the words and all that it would entail just yet but I did really, really like her.

But what about her thoughts on the matter? She was clearly as horny for it as I was – as she’d said before,  things between us were already intense and she worried there were external factors driving that. I guess her concern was about it lasting; especially as, if I was in her life, I would be in the kids’ lives too.  I didn’t know how those long-term relationship concerns overlaid with what she wanted from a physical relationship. Did she have a rule about how long was decent to wait? Did she need to be in love? Or was she like me - simply concerned that we were ‘in like’ enough for it to be a meaningful experience? And what did I think about a commitment to the children. Fortunately that was easy really. They were adorable and a chance for me to have children in my life that I thought had passed me by. OK so I had no personal experience of the commitment needed but I’d been on the receiving end of some long distance and hands off parenting myself. I wasn’t going to get involved and then drop them like a hot potato.

 I don’t know why I do this so much – spend ages second guessing all the possible thought processes that someone else is having rather than just asking them directly! We had all day on Friday to talk – I resolved to ask her more about what she wanted even if I wasn’t sure I was just going to come straight out and ask “when can we have sex?”

 She Said

 The morning after the phone sex, I was still a bit shocked  at my behaviour. It wasn’t like he started it either – he said he’d led me astray but I totally opened the door. I hope he didn’t think I was some kind of harlot!

I was really glad of the 2 days we’d now have apart and I wasn’t planning a repeat of the phone sex on any of our calls, that is for sure.  The houseful of kids on Wednesday and the chores  and work were hopefully going to take my mind off the question that was always rattling around the back of my mind. “When were we going to have sex for the first time?”

Was he thinking about it too? Of course he was! What kind of question is that about a sexy man like him who I know for a fact had sex with his most recent girlfriend after about 4 dates? And surely he’d had so many sexual partners over the years given how gorgeous he is, his celebrity and the acting and band groupies that must have followed him around. Not that he seemed like the kind of guy who would automatically take advantage of fans in that way every time that it was offered to him on a plate. But what do experiences like that do to your view of when the right time is? For me I couldn’t just have sex without it meaning something. I wanted to feel that connection, to give pleasure and receive it from someone who wanted to  please me. From what he said on that call and what I knew of his personality, I felt quite confident that he wouldn’t be a selfish lover.

And then there were the kids. OK so they aren’t going to be involved in the sex!  -  but if we take it to that stage, who am I kidding, when we take it to that stage, for me that will mean some kind of commitment to a relationship which means he will be in their lives, which means I want this to last. And that means I want him to want them in his life and I need him to want a long term commitment too. Wow so many questions and instead of talking to him, I’m talking to myself! In one way, Friday could not come soon enough so we could talk.

 He Said

We’d decide to spend time in the great outdoors on our date day as lockdown measures were easing and beaches would be open. She’d bravely agreed to a bike ride up the Pacific Coast Highway to a beach north of Malibu where we hoped to have some space to ourselves. I concentrated on organising the ride and the picnic and hoped we could talk and naturally get round to the topic that was vexing me!

Luckily for me, even though we’d both spent so much time effectively guarding our feelings, it was Sophia who brought up the whole topic once we’d enjoyed our picnic and the conversation that had been about the delicious picnic waned.

“I think we should  talk about what we did the other night”

“yeah” I said, rubbing my chin awkwardly.

“I hope you don’t feel like we’re wasting an opportunity by coming  to the beach today. I know it might seem like a contradiction after that phone call, but I need to be ready in here”  she pointed to her head “and I’m not sure I am yet”

I put my arm around her and squeezed her in reassurance

“It’s fine – being outside is doing us  both good after being trapped at home and there’s still a little bit of Alex Wyler patience in me you know!”

“Also there’s something about the idea of sex in the day while the kids are doing ‘school’ that feels kind of like a couple cheating,  is that weird? Maybe it’s just coz we’re kind of sneaking around, I dunno”

“Do you wanna go public?”

“Nooo! well not ‘People magazine’ public anyway!”

“This beach is public!”

“Yup I know but I wasn’t planning on making out Ben Afleck style with you here!”

“Have you ever?”

“What?” I wasn’t sure what she was getting at and cocked an eyebrow.

“You know done PDA in public?”

“Oh. No, not really - I’ve been seen and snapped when out with lots of people though generally they’ve only caught a hand hold or a kiss on the cheek - I did once get snapped at the Marmont in the 90s making out with Sherri Rose!”

She laughed

“You did well to stay out of the limelight. Your persona has kind of been ‘grieving monk’ for years!”

I snorted at that “Not true, definitely not true”

“Is so!”

“No, I mean that wasn’t how it was,  but it did suit me for people to think that!”

“are you OK to wait a while?”

 “Of course, I don’t want to rush you. What do you need from me?”

 “You mean to feel ready?”

 “yeah I guess”

 “What about you?

 “I asked first!”

 Sophia looked down at her hands and the picnic rug.

 “Well, I guess I wouldn’t want to just have sex without it meaning something. I want to feel a connection …… to give you pleasure and receive it.”

 She lifted her eyes to mine then and smiled shyly. I squeezed her hand

 “Me too”

 “And for me” she continued “when we take it to that stage, it will mean some level of commitment to a relationship which means some level of commitment to the children – to not just land in their lives and then vanish 5 minutes later”

 “Listen, I promise you, I wouldn’t do that. I know what it’s like to be dropped like that as a little kid so, even though I don’t have any parenting experience, I can commit to that much”

She leaned in and kissed me softly.

“Thank you”

“Do you know what I really want?” I shook my head

“A night together, maybe at yours, no distractions, no kids. And then to wake up in the morning with you all sleepy and warm and make love again.”

I  shivered at her words

 “I don’t know exactly when I’ll be ready or how we can do that but let’s  try to think how we can manage it. It’s something to look forward to”

Her piece said, she leaned her head against my chest and we sat for ages just looking at the sea, breathing in unison and enjoying our silence with the backdrop of the wide ocean and crashing waves.

  @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles  

[bobasheebaby]

125 Golden Girls Prompts

This time I have some hilarious prompts from some hilarious women. These help keep me sane, send in prompts or request a specific show. Long as hell, breaking at 15.

1 “Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains.” – Dorothy

2 “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” -Blanche

3 “They were all buying T-shirts, you know, the ones that say, ��Today is the first day of the end of your life.’” — Dorothy

4 “People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.” – Sophia

5 “Nobody ever believes me when I’m telling the truth. I guess it’s the curse of being a devastatingly beautiful woman.” – Blanche

6 “No! No, I will not have a nice day!” -Dorothy

7 “Excuse me NAME, have I given any indication at all that I care?” – Sophia

8 “No one in my family has ever seen a psychiatrist ... except of course, when they were institutionalized!” – Blanche

9 “Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad, and still look so good?” -Blanche

10 “Condoms, NAME! Condoms, condoms, condoms!” – Dorothy

11 “It’s like life is a giant weenie roast, and I’m the biggest weenie!” – Rose

12 “He’s/She’s really a very sweet man/woman. He/She just doesn’t like to show it.” — Dorothy

13 “I eat raw cookie dough. And occasionally, I run through the sprinklers and don’t wear a bathing cap. And at Christmas, I’ve been known to put away more than one eggnog.” – Rose

14 “I could get herpes listening to this story!” – Dorothy

15 “I’ve been having a good time, and there wasn’t even a man/woman in the room.” -Blanche

16 “Why don’t I just wear a sign, ‘too ugly to live’?” – Dorothy

17 “I though I was gonna die. I swear I have never felt such agony. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes and I thought, ‘What a shame if I die now, I’m too young…and I’m wearing the wrong underwear.’” — Blanche

18 “You’ll have to excuse NAME. HE/She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered him/her totally annoying.” – Dorothy

19 “Eat dirt and die, trash.” – Blanche

20 “[to NAME] You’re a furry little gnome and we feed you too much.” – Dorothy

21 When I was a child, I used to get overexcited and pet the cat too much.” – Rose

22 “I feel that you have backed me into a corner, and when I am backed into a corner, I come out fightin’ like a wildcat. Unless I’ve had too much to drink, in which case I slide down the wall and make mad passionate love on the carpet.” – Blanche

23 “NAME, you’re one chromosome away from being a potato.” – Dorothy

24 “If this sauce was a person, I’d get naked and make love to it.” – Sophia

25 “I hate to admit it but he/she melts my Haagen-Dazs.” – Rose

26 “Want a glass of water to wash down your foot?” – Sophia

27 “Like I’m the only person who ever mixed a margarita in a sailor’s mouth?” – Blanche

28 “I feel like crawling under the covers and eating a box of Velveeta.” – Rose

29 “When I say jump, you say ‘on who?'” – Blanche

30 “I’m jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.” – Blanche

31 “How come whenever my ship comes in it’s leaking?” – Dorothy

32 “Tell me the truth: do these glasses make me look stupid?” – Rose

33 “If I had that money I could have moved into a swinging condo instead of living with—I better not say anything until I’ve had my coffee [sips coffee]—a slut and a moron!” – Dorothy

34 “Go hug a landmine!” – Dorothy

35 “Fasten your seatbelt, slut puppy. This ain’t gonna be no cakewalk!” – Sophia

36 “NAME? Hubba hubba zing zing, baby, he’s /she’s got everything.” – Rose

37 “I could vomit just looking at you!” – Dorothy

38 “There is a fine line between having a good time and being a wanton slut. I know. My toe has been on that line.” – Blanche

39 “It’s like you people don’t pay any attention to me whatsoever.” – Rose

40 “Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I’d run around naked.” – Sophia

41 “I hate Jell-O. If God wanted peaches suspended in midair, he would have filled them with helium.” – Sophia

42 “Oh, don’t give up, NAME. If the ancient Egyptians could move 20-ton stone blocks to build the pyramids, we can move a toilet.” – Rose

43 “NAME, honey… have you been washing the fruit off before you eat it?” – Dorothy

44 “Tell me, is it possible to love two men/women/people at the same time.” “Set the scene, have we been drinking?” — Rose & Blanche

45 “NAME, what are you listening to?” “A relaxation tape. The rain is supposed to relax me.” “Is it working?” “Not really. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down.” — Dorothy & Rose

46 “NAME, I have a feeling you’re lying.” “NAME, be positive.” “Okay, I’m positive you’re lying.” — Dorothy & Rose

47 “You are undoubtedly the meanest, sickest person I’ve ever met! Not to mention the most unattractive.” — Blanche

48 “Where are you going?” “To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I’ll decide in the car.” — Rose & Dorothy

49 “Let me tell you a story. Picture it, PLACE …” —Sophia

50 “NAME, wake up. My husband/wife/partner will be home any minute.” — Dorothy

51 “I’m NAME and I know it isn’t pertinent at the moment, but I’m double jointed.” — Blanche

52 “He’s/She's really a very sweet man/woman. He/She just doesn't like to show it.” — Dorothy

53 “You know, sometimes when people are under pressure, they sleep to escape.” — Rose

54 “Have you noticed that NAME has been acting peculiar?” “Yes, NAME, from the first day that I met him/her!” — Blanche & Dorothy

55 “Oh, NAME, how do you feel about performing in front of a video camera?” “I think it's okay as long as you've already had at least three dates.” — Rose & Blanche

56 “I never grew a beard!” “You never grew brains, either!” — Rose & Sophia

57 “It wasn't a rat! It was a cute little mouse.” “NAME, it doesn't wear white gloves and work at Disneyland! We're talking about a rodent!” — Rose & Dorothy

58 “My whole life is an open book.” “Your whole life is an open shirt/blouse!” — Blanche & Sophia

59 “Oh, you don't have to worry about me, honey. I never get sick. I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple.” “Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.” — Blanche & Sophia

60 “Oh, NAME. Can I make a little suggestion when you go for your makeover?” “Sure. What is it?” “Don't expect a miracle.” — Sophia & Dorothy

61 “Why am I even discussing this with you?” “Beats the hell out of me!” — Dorothy & Sophia

62 “Well, what do you know? NAME has a past!” “That's right! But unlike yours, I didn't need penicillin to get through it.” — Blanche & Sophia

63 “I'm going to have to meet men/women lying down.” “I thought you did.” — Blanche & Sophia

64 “Here we are in the middle of a crisis and there’s no cheesecake.” — Blanche

65 “Can I ask a dumb question?” “Better than anyone I know.” — Rose & Dorothy

66 “NAME, ‘disdam’ is not a word. You made it up.” “It’s a word.” “Fine. Use it in a sentence.” “You’re no good at disdam game.” — Dorothy & Sophia

67 “He’s/She’s undressing me with his/her eyes.” “Do you wanna move tables?” “Not yet, he’s/she’s only half done.” — Blanche & Rose

68 “You know, there is nothing worse than being wide awake and scared and by yourself!” “Oh yea there is: being wide awake and scared and by yourself without a double-fudge chocolate cheesecake in the freezer.” — Dorothy & Rose

69 “You know what would go so good on this cheesecake is those chocolate sprinkles.” “We finished those an hour ago.” “We could crush some Oreos on top.” “We ran out of those two hours ago.” “How about some whipped cream?” “Mmm!” — Dorothy & Rose

70 “You bought a chocolate cheesecake?” “Just for an emergency.” — Dorothy & Rose

71 “I just need some cucumbers to put on my eyes. It’s very good. It reduces puffiness.” “Does it work on thighs?” — Blanche & Rose

72 “I have a date.” “With a man/woman?” “No, NAME. With a Venus fly trap.” — Dorothy & Blanche

73 “Do you know what your trouble is?” “Of course not.” — Dorothy & Blanche

74 “I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste.” — Sophia

75 ““Forgive me, NAME, but I haven’t had sex in AMOUNT OF TIME and it’s starting to get on my nerves.” – Sophia

76 “Do you know what I hate doing most after a big party?” “Trying to find your underwear in the big pile?” — Blanche & Rose

77 “I've never been so humiliated in my life.” “What about the time you lost the key to your handcuffs and had to go with that guy/girl on his/her mail route?” — Blanche & Dorothy

78 “You are not gonna believe this. NAME, just called me.” “I didn't think the two of you were speaking.” “Well, we're not.” “Then how'd you know it was him/her on the other end of the line?” “NAME, you're bringing down the curve for the whole country.” — Blanche, Dorothy & Rose

79 “Oh, my goodness. Look what I found. Double-fudge cookies. I thought we agreed not to keep cookies in the house.” “Right, after this last box.” “You're not going to eat them, are you?” “No, NAME. We're going to go to some dumb country and try to use them as money.” — Rose, Blanche & Dorothy

80 “I can't believe you said that! Oh, if I weren't a lady I'd deck you.” “You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date.” — Blanche & Dorothy

81 [NAME running after a dog] “Ha! Would you look at that: man's best friend, chasing man's best friend!” — Dorothy

82 “I won't stand for this!“[gets up and starts to walk out] “Take it, NAME!” “But I bet you'll lie down for it.” — Blanche, Sophia & Dorothy

83 “NAME, you should make us eat dirt, make us grovel, give us the silent treatment...” “NAME, if you give us the silent treatment, I will eat dirt.” — Rose & Dorothy

84 “Cooking, NAME?” “No, NAME, I'm developing pictures for the Magellan Space Program.” — Rose & Dorothy

85 “Do we have any orange juice left?” [person two pours the rest in their glass] “No, we’re all out.” — Rose & Dorothy

86 “Go hug a landmine.” — Dorothy

87 “Now, what’s wrong?” “I lost it, NAME!” “You never had it, NAME.” — Dorothy & Stanley

88 “You knew I wanted to spend tonight alone.” — Rose

89 “Darn it. I gotta kiss somebody at midnight.” — Blanche

90 “Pizza, dammit! Get pizza!” — Dorothy

91 “What the hell goes on at night in this house?!” — Dorothy

92 “Just drives you nuts, doesn’t it, NAME?” — Rose

93 “Can you believe that backstabbing slut?” — Rose

94 “I’m here if you wanna pick my brain.” “NAME, I think we should leave it alone and let it heal.” — Rose & Dorothy

95 “And the world heaves a collective sigh of relief.” — Sophia

96 "Must you always be so cheerful, you empty headed Mary Poppins knockoff?'—Blanche

97 "What? Are you out of what is left of your mind?!"—Blanche

98 “All I do is listen to your sexual problems. How about my sexual problems?” — Sophia

99 “Blow it out your ditty bag.” — Sophia

100 “Your heart's in the right place, but I don't know where the hell your brain is." — Sophia

101 “Think about it. You live alone. No one likes you." — Sophia

102 “You're moving. Too bad. This would be touching if I liked you more." — Sophia

103 “Go ahead. Stand up and say it. My name is NAME, and I am an idiot." — Sophia

104 “You're here because the rhythm method was very popular in the [insert decade of birth]." — Sophia

105 “Get to the part where they steal the brain out of the dead body and sew it into your head." — Sophia

106 "Exactly how close to the television are you sitting when you're watching TV SHOW.” — Sophia

107 “Boom! You've got a social life." — Sophia

108 “You drink out of a brown paper bag and suddenly everybody’s your friend.” — Sophia

109 “Remember NAME, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” “I think I crossed that line when I got a date!” — Dorothy & Sophia

110 “If you can’t count on family, who the hell can you count on?” — Sophia

111 “In this life, that’s all we have, is hope.” — Sophia

112 “Here’s a newsflash, witches can fly.” — Sophia

113 “It’s great bringing two idiots closer together.” — Sophia

114 “NAME, a man/woman called for you while you were out.” “Finally, now we can break out that bottle of champagne we’ve been saving.” — Rose & Sophia

115 “Gee, with only three hours sleep, I can be just as bitchy as you.” — Rose

116 “Gee, Sophia! You’re awfully cranky today.” — Rose

117 “The doctor says it’s the first time he’s ever been called because a baby was sleeping in the day. And then I think he called me an idiot.” — Rose

118 [astonished]  “You paying for something?” “What are you saying, I'm cheap?” “Well, of course he’s/she's saying you're cheap. You're the only man I know who owns a time-share dog!” — Rose, Stanley & Dorothy

119 “Hey, what is this? You're talking about me like I'm an animal. [sniffing NAME] You've been with a man, haven't you?” — Sophia

120 “I do love the rain so. It reminds me of my first kiss.” “Ah, your first kiss was in the rain?” “No, it was in the shower.” — Blanche & Dorothy

121 “You know, I've been thinking ...” “Oh, that would explain the beads of sweat.” — Rose & Blanche

122 “God, I hate morning people.” — Blanche

123 “He’s/She’s a lewd, horny, oversexed beast with five hands.” “You don’t have to build him/her up to me, honey. I like him/her just fine already.” — Rose & Blanche

124 “You ... you ... you rude person!” “Go easy on him/her, NAME.” — Rose & Dorothy

125 “This would be touching if I liked you more.” — Sophia