#i even caught myself thinking “aw; hi beautiful ❤️”

[invinciblerodent]

oh you know you're fucked when you see a screenshot of a fictional man, and your first reaction is to fucking smile like you're looking at a picture of your long-lost sweetheart in a goddamn heart-shaped locket

[littlesheeneffect]

Bow Tied Love ❤️

Aziraphael x Reader (AFAB Genderfluid)

Rating: At your discretion.... maybe T

Warnings: Mentions of smutt, mostly fluff, low self esteem, angst, medical issues, slight language

...... Yesterday.......

I made my way to the back of the book shop with a stack in hand, my stomach constantly in butterflies at the thought of Aziraphael. His beautiful eyes, that round face, his fluffy curls, and that sweetly soft body- oh I wished I could just curl up with!

I had to do something, the infatuation was just going to kill me.... it already was killing my blood sugar, blood pressure, and nervous system with that constant state of the feels. Gosh, there he was again!

"Darling, would you mind bringing me the Hidden Hand by-" cut him off by placing E.D.E.N Southworth's novel in his hand. "Thank you love", ugh, he did it again....

I couldn't take it, my health felt like it was being thrown out the windows by my stupidity. Why would he even think something as human as I was? It wasn't possible, and if if it was- it was probably for Crowley that he would, not me. I'm mean, just look at me!

"You know what I've been thinking darling, we should reorganize the far bookshelf on the northeast side of the shop this week. If we get half of it done before Thursday, crepes it is!" He beamed out without looking anywhere in particular.

Suddenly I got the courage, or rather cowardice, to mutter out, " Um, Zira I think I'm gonna head home for the day. It's been quite a week, an, an, and something came up. I don't know if I'll be able to come in on Monday." Crap It sounded to apathetic, so distant, so like this job was nothing and I could careless! Why did I?!?!

"Oh", he said with a simplicity that broke me even more because of my being the cause of it. "Well," he started and I attempted to redeem myself once more. "I mean Zira, I just don't know if it's the right way to say this but I, I won't come in." Crap! "I mean, because I have someone important to care for, and if they go down..... we'll, let's just say it's not,.. you know" Mental Facepalm.

With a near blank expression and wide eyes, Aziraphael replied, " Well, if you refuse to help me, then of course.... you're at liberty to go." Quickly he stood from his seat and exited to a back room. I felt awful. Why did I have to be such a nitwit, so afraid to faint in his arms, that I would make him think I was an ungrateful prig. Ugh!!!!

In fact, I had no idea that I was so heartwrenched by my own actions that I was still seated on the edge of the desk near fifteen minutes later. Right in the same place.

Everything I'd done wrong in life had been swirling about in my mind. Everything that was completely complicated pushed it's way forth. Why was I kicked out of my family's house... cuz I was Genderfluid? Why did such an Angel like Aziraphael take a lowlife like me in.... cuz that who he was, not because of me. Why did I just dis the crush of my life... coz I'm selfish? Why was I so, so- ME!!!??

Little did I realize that AZ had reenterred the room with a concered and surprised look. "Ughm" he cleared his throught. When I didn't look up, he began concerned, "Y/n, weren't you going home?" I finally looked up slowly, yet not fully at him. Just into the distance.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going" I said in a slurred tone as I wearily stood. Yet the flush drained from my cheeks and I felt entirely weak. As I began to crumble to the floor, Aziraphael's arms caught me.

"Oh darling," he called, " You're having a faint, stay with me dear. Stay with me." As he held me partly propped on his squatted knee and with his arms, I slowly turned my pale face to his. "Zir, zzira?"

"Yes, dear, I'm here- don't worry" he consoled, looking at me to check if I was fading off anymore. "I'm such a terr, terrible person", I moaned in dellusional angst, "I'm so, so"- suddenly the tears just broke forth. "Shhhhhh, shhhh, now my love. That's not true, shhhhh. You're just fine. You are a wonderfully beautiful person, y/n." His voice softly echoed into the weak sobs, as one hand rubbed my back. "Don't you listen to those voices darling, you are perfect. God loves you more than you can ever imagine darling, and so do I. Shhhh now dear, shhhh."

Gradually, a peak of color returned to my blush once more, and I looked up to his gorgeous face. Yet everything was still blurry and off.

In a true delusional and blissful state, I reached a hand up to his greenish checkered bow tie. Tugging it gently, I smiled in a lightheaded elation, " You make this bow tie so handsome, my sweetiepie!"

Then I fully swooned.

(And he may have too, I don't fully know that part. I just remember the lightheaded look he had before it all went black.)

....... Today ......

I was upstairs getting out of Aziraphael's ridiculously soft bed, and noticed it was well past 12 in the afternoon, when I heard a swift nock on the door.

"Hey Angel, oh" I turned to see Crowley stanting in the doorway, surprised as heck. "Umm", he trailed, "Did u and him, are you two, this is, ummm. Morning!" He then quickly turned and left, leaving me nearly caving over in laughter.

Downstairs, Crowley found Aziraphael who was retrieving a tray of crepes in the store. " Angel!" "Oh, Crowley, helloe" Zira turned smiling. "You and y/n slept together?" He blurted out, causing an elated and innocent sway to erupt from Zira. "Mm-hum" he replied on cloud nine.

Crowley paused for a second, hardly believing the angel's reply and reaction. Then shaking it off, he continued in this dirty way. " Well, how was it?" "Oh, it was marvelous!" Zira beamed exuberant. "Did you, was it, was it oral?" Crowley asked, still surprised.

"Was it oral? Whatever on earth are you talking about? How could sleeping be or-" Aziraphael's face suddenly blanked. And Crowley pushed though already seeing Zira realized, "You know, the sex?". Aziraphael straightened with near offense, "The what!?" He then hushed his tone hearing my light singing from upstairs, "How on earth did you draw such a conclusion?" Crowley shook his head knowing nothing of the sort happened between us two, and irritatedly explained, "I seen her in your room and you siad you two slept together! At an adults age that typically means something more that sleeping."

Aziraphael, back in his dellusional state beamed, "Y/n slept in my bed last night because she, she, she-" Crowley's eyebrows raised high above his glasses brim with expectation. "- She loves me and I love her- and, and she likes my bow tie."

With that, I suddenly approached the two in a similar state of euphoria. "Morning Zira!" He smiled back as I grabbed one of the crepes, and he played a soft kiss on my cheek, "Good morning my love!".

Crowley just crinkled his brow at the innocence of it all, before just shugging it off. I myself was such a fool to doubt the love of Zira all those years.

I mean looking back, what else should one expect of an Angel. 😇❤️💍

[halsteadlover]

𝐍𝐨 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by @rsquared31: She and Adam are either still in the stages of flirting or early on in a new relationship together. Something happens to her and Adam rushes to get to her, but then internally struggles between going after the attacker or running directly to her - not wanting the asshole to get away, wanting to tackle him and make him pay for daring to hurt her, but also wanting to see if she was ok and be the one to help her. She’s taken to the hospital, where the injury was bad enough for her to be out/unconscious for a while? Adam stays with her and refuses to leave. He makes some admissions when she wakes up.

• Warnings: mention of blood, injury, drug, throwing up, tiny bit of swearing.

• Word count: 4456.

• A/N: this is the first time writing for someone who isn’t Jay and I’m so nervous 😭 it’s ugly as fuck but are we even surprised? I hope you like it anyway. please let me know what do you think and feel free to give me any advice or send me ideas for new stories! Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated ❤️ thank you so much for the amazing support you showed me and for encouraging me to challenge myself and write for other characters, I love you all xx

“Good morning darling,” a voice caught your attention.

You were in the break room pouring some coffee – which you already knew would be awful – into your cup. Before you even turned around a smile appeared on your lips, having recognized who that voice belonged to. You would’ve recognized it among another million people.

You turned your face to a smiling and impossibly handsome Adam who didn't even try to hide the cheeky way his eyes studied every inch of your body.

“Good morning to you handsome,” you returned his greeting trying not to stammer and blush in front of his intense and provocative gaze. But you couldn't hide the way your heart whirled in your chest, almost skipping a beat, or the way every cell in your body woke up from the excitement.

Excitement of what? He hadn't done anything but look at you and you were already a complete mess.

The power this man had over you.

“Indeed it's a really good morning,” he replied, hands in his pockets as his eyes looked you up and down your body without shame and restraint, stopping on your ass. His tongue wet his lips as he tried to suppress the ever-growing urge to get his hands anywhere on your body.

He confidently walked over you, your cheeks burning as he leaned against the edge of the kitchen right next to you. The way he looked at you, his head tilted slightly to the side, a winky smile on his lips, his light-brown eyes looking up at you so intently they seemed to want to read into you. God, you'd drop everything and get down on your knees.

“You know Adam, I'm not just a piece of meat,” you pretended to be offended, as if it really didn’t flatter you to know he was attracted to you, as if you didn’t crave his eyes on you every minute, every second of the day. You took a sip of your coffee, trying to mask your disgust.

Adam chuckled. “It's not my fault, I can't help it if you're so beautiful,” he replied flirtatiously exploding every ounce of self-control you possessed, “This is for me isn't it?” he pointed the coffee.

He smiled as he noticed the blush on your cheeks and the way you tried to hide it. God, that was one of the things he most loved about you. How could you be so beautiful? So hot and sexy but so cute at the same time?

Adam stopped trying to explain to himself what he felt about you long time ago, the way you drove him crazy, the way he was always thinking about you, continuously, always, constantly.

“Oh yeah it's all yours,” you said, handing him the cup of coffee without hesitation. His fingers brushed yours as you did so and a shiver ran down your spine, giving you goosebumps. You tried to stop yourself from giggling like a little schoolgirl, not wanting to show him the effect he had on you.

But he knew it all right, because that was exactly what happened to him.

“And by the way, you're not so bad either, Ruzek,” you looked him up and down and this simple sentence was enough for Adam to lose his head and feel his dick twitch in his pants.

Adam took a deep breath, looking at the ceiling for a moment as if trying to regain control of himself. “Y/N, Y/N…” he murmured your name like a prayer before returning his eyes to you. “What am I going to do with you?”.

“What are you talking about? What did I do?”, you asked in a dumb tone. He didn't answer you, but kept looking at you, studying every millimeter of your beautiful face, feeling his hands tingle from trying to repress the desire to touch you. The sexual tension between you two was so high it could fuel the entire city of Chicago, the air so tense anyone within miles would notice the way you looked at each other, how you were drawn to each other like magnets.

He set the cup of now-cold coffee in the sink before caressing your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You stopped breathing for a second as your subconscious kept hoping he'd kiss you until he took your breath away.

“Make me lose my goddamn mind.”

Oh God.

“I'm not doing anything,” you whispered, your eyes always fixed on his so lively and brilliant eyes. They were so bright, so full of life and joy that just looking at them was able to calm you when everything seemed to fall apart.

His eyes kept alternating between your eyes and lips. His mind raced as he tried to think of all the reasons why he shouldn't press his lips to yours, but right now he could only think of a thousand reasons why he should do it instead.

“We shouldn't be that close,” you muttered, your voice so low, not convinced by your own words. “I know, we shouldn't,” he whispered back but remaining in that position. His thumb caressed your cheeks softly, his touch so light and delicate that made you forget everything around you, “But I can't help it.”

A sudden noise immediately pulled you away from each other and you prayed with every fiber of your being it wasn't Voight.

“Finished playing lovebirds?” Kevin's amused voice broke that magical moment between you and Adam.

“Oh… Uhm… H-he was pulling an eyelash out of my eye,” you blurted out the first excuse that crossed your mind, ignoring Kevin's gaze. Adam was trying to suppress the smile that threatened to come across his lips as you stuttered embarrassedly. He had to resist the urge to pull you to him and hug you.

“Sure like you weren’t about to tear your clothes off,” Kevin laughed back.

“I… I have to go to the bathroom…” you stammered and then started walking away from the break room to finally be able to breathe.

“Not so fast honey, we have a new case, I came here to call you guys.”

Adam tried to suppress the annoyance that just hearing Kevin call you 'honey' gave him.

Fuck's sake get a grip.

How had he gotten to the point he even felt jealous of his friend calling you ‘honey’?

You and Adam had always had this kind of relationship, ever since you started working in the Intelligence. From the first moment there had been a feeling between you, a feeling you had few times in your life and that brought you closer to the point every occasion was good for you two to flirt and tease each other.

But over time, your relationship deepened and soon what was a simple flirting became something more, from both of you. Neither of you came forward with the fear of rejection from the other and that's how you ended up in this state of limbo, in which you both desired each other from afar, in which every time you found yourself close the tension skyrocketed.

You didn’t say anything, exited the break room at light speed while Adam obviously followed you with his gaze, watching you carefully. When you were out of sight of him, he glanced at Kevin who laughed at the sudden change of his facial expression. He had gone from a beaten and hopelessly in love puppy to a furious hyena.

“Thank you so much Kev,” he nudged him lightly.

“Hey! What did I do? I just came to call you, we happen to be at work in case you forgot. I know you are so madly in love with each other and bla bla bla but I want to remind you we are in the district, in our unit, with Voight.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “I'm not in love and… Fuck’s sake just mind your business.”

Now that was a good lie, he was very much in love with you, and a lot too.

“So you don't mind if I ask her out do you?” Kevin asked with mock seriousness just to test his friend’s patience and from the way he looked at him as if he was ready to knock him down, he knew he had managed to do it.

“Say it one more time and I'll punch you in the fucking face,” Adam said and for some strange reason Kevin figured he was serious.

He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “I was just joking man, I would never do it.”

The case concerned a large exchange of drugs that would’ve been made that same day and which an Antonio’s informant had told him about. With the whole team, you opted for a silent flash attack, in order to surprise the traffickers in the middle of the exchange and arrest them all.

You were all armed with shotguns and bulletproof vests and once you arrived at the place where the drug trade was about to take place, you split up as agreed: Kim went with Antonio and Voight, Jay with Hailey and finally you with Adam.

“Hey, be careful okay?” Adam had whispered in your ear just before entering. You turned to him and smiled. “Be careful too,” you replied.

The building where the drug trade would take place was abandoned and from the dust and the amount of junk it had been in disuse for many years. It was the perfect place for a drug trade, it was spacious, disused, isolated, no one would ever suspect the illegal activities that took place there.

After the team split up, you and Adam headed into the back entrance of the massive building, stepping in silently and fingers close to the trigger ready to fire whenever necessary. The traffickers worked on kilos of drugs and judging by the quantity present, it must’ve been worth a lot of money.

Your heart was pounding, so hard you could almost hear it in your ears. It didn't matter how many missions like these you had done, how many drug exchange attempts you had thwarted, the anxiety in those moments of suspense would always be present.

That was the perfect time to intervene, those men never expected the police to be there. You waited for Voight's signal from the headset transceiver connected to your ear, at which point you all exclaimed.

“Chicago PD! Everyone down and hands up!”

At that point chaos ensued.

The men wasted no time and immediately started to shoot, beginning a firefight that forced all of you to hide. You and Adam hid behind a wrecked car, firing your rifles. The sound of gunfire echoed in that establishment, bullet shells flew here and there on the dirty and dusty floor, and those traffickers had no intention of giving up. You hated to admit it, but they were giving you a hard time.

After unloading a full loader, you sat down to protect yourself and put a new one into the rifle. Adam glanced at you with the corner of his eyes before returning his gaze in front of him and firing a few shots and then bending down to shelter from the shots.

“Holy shit,” he cursed and you couldn't help but agree with him. It was a horrible situation.

You peeked out with your head and shot a trafficker who was about to shoot in your direction at the same time, whose body fell lifeless to the ground.

As you were about to take cover at that very moment your gaze fell causally next to Adam and with horror you noticed a weapon aimed at him, a man ready to shoot him.

“Adam! Get down!” you screamed and instinct prevailed. Before he could even figure out what was happening, you lunged at him, pushing him to the ground and shooting the man at the same time but not before he too fired a few shots as he fell to the ground.

Time stopped for an instant and everything went in slow motion. You didn't immediately understand what happened only when a throbbing pain went through your abdomen. You didn't immediately realize you'd been hit by a bullet.

Adam lifted himself off the ground only then realizing you were lying on the floor.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed in horror feeling his heart nearly stop in his chest. He knelt down next to you. “It's okay, it's okay baby, you’re gonna be okay.”

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed the criminal you shoot get up and run away.

“Fuck,” you hissed in pain “Adam he is running away…”

“Like hell I'm leaving you alone,” he urged, pulling off your bulletproof vest and heaving a sigh of relief when he saw the bullet had been stopped by the vest. You pushed his hand away, trying to breathe deeply. “Adam go! I am fine just go!” you exclaimed aloud, making your pain increase.

Adam found himself conflicted, for the first time in his life unable to decide what to do. He didn't want to leave you alone, not when you were suffering like that and unable to defend yourself, but at the same time he wanted to take that son of a bitch, not because he was a criminal, but for daring to hurt you.

“Baby, it’s okay, I'm fine I promise,” you continued, patting his hand encouragingly noting his hesitation. “Go.”

Adam reluctantly got up and started chasing after the criminal – who wounded, didn't run very far – not before alerting your teammates you had been hit and were on the ground unprotected while he was doing the chase.

“Chicago PD! Stop!” yelled Adam as he ran after the man. He tried to increase his pace but the bullet that had hit him had weakened him a lot since, unlike you, there was no bulletproof vest to protect him.

It wasn't long before Adam caught up with the criminal. He threw himself on him causing him to crash to the ground and before he could even defend himself, Adam had punched him in the face.

Then another one.

And one more time.

He was blinded by rage, the image of you lying on the ground in pain as you struggled to breathe etched perfectly into his memory with every punch he landed.

“Son of a bitch!” he yelled in his face as another punch collided with the smuggler's face.

“Adam! Stop for fuck's sake or you'll kill him!” Jay exclaimed, running towards him and pushing Adam away from the man lying on the ground almost unconscious.

“Let me go!” Adam tried to escape from Jay's grip as he pushed him away from the man before breaking free and running to you, showing no remorse for beating the criminal.

He found you in the same spot, this time leaning against the car while Hailey was next to you. During the firefight almost all of the traffickers were killed, while some were handcuffed and arrested.

“It's okay, help is on the way,” she tried to reassure you even though the only person you needed was Adam. “Take small breaths, everything will be fine.”

“Y/N! Hey, hey, I'm here,” you breathed a sigh of relief if it wasn't so painful. She immediately knelt beside you, cupping her face in her hands, her heart in a vise as she saw you in so much pain.

“You'll be fine okay? Everything will be fine. How are you feeling?”.

“It hurts like hell,” you cursed. Damn it, you almost forgot how much it hurt a bullet hit.

Hailey at that moment said she’d walk away to help the others, leaving you and Adam alone.

“I know, I know it hurts, baby I'm so sorry” he stroked your face “Can I take a look?”.

You nodded and, trying to be as delicate as possible, he lifted your shirt, almost blanching when he saw the extent of the damage and the huge bruise caused by the bullet.

“It's that bad huh?”.

Adam had to swallow the lump in his throat, the guilt wearing him down because he knew that bullet was meant for him. God, he would’ve taken ten bullets rather than see you suffer even one second of your life. He hated seeing you like that, he hated not protecting you, he hated you took that bullet instead of him.

“I'm so sorry sweetheart…”

“Is this a way of saying 'thank you for saving my life'?” you tried to joke but the serious and destroyed expression on Adam's face suggested he wasn't in mood for jokes.

“It was meant for me, it should’ve been me,” he sighed and you took his hand with yours, stroking the back of it.

“It’s not your fault, I’d do it again thousand times.”

At that moment the paramedics arrived and after many oppositions you had yourself examined, under the inquiring gaze of Adam who never left your side.

Once you arrived at Med's it was Will who visited you. “How much does it hurt from one to ten?”.

“Four,” you answered but flinced when he gently patted your abdomen.

“Y/N.” he admonished you.

“Fine, shit,” you hissed in pain “Eleven.”

“Why are you cops so stubborn? I swear, you're all the same, always thinking you're superheroes.”

“I just want to go home Will, please give me a couple of painkillers and let me go,” you begged.

You began to feel dizzy and a wave of nausea washed over you as the pain gradually became more and more intense and unbearable.

“You're not going anywhere miss,” Will stated “Judging by the abdominal distension I'd say there's internal bleeding but I'll do an ultrasound just to make sure.”

“Will...” you muttered feeling the need to vomit “I have to... I have to throw-...” you couldn't finish the sentence you lifted up slightly and started throwing up, but the nurse present was quick enough to take a basin nearby and place it in front of you.

“It's definitely internal bleeding,” Will said after doing the abdominal ultrasound.

Your vision started to get blurry and your heart pounding so fast, you felt like it was about to stop.

“I can't... I can't breathe...”

Adam – who meanwhile was in the waiting room – had almost dug a trail in the floor due to his continuous back and forth, feeling anxious like never before.

He hated waiting, having to sit there with folded hands and not being able to do anything to help you while you were in the operating room and Rhodes was operating on you to contain the internal bleeding. The guilt was wearing him down even though rationally he knew it wasn't his fault.

He felt guilty because he had always promised himself he’d protect you from everything and everyone, he’d kill rather than risk someone hurting you, he felt guilty because he was the one who was supposed to be on the operating table.

The moment you threw yourself at him to protect him kept playing in his mind over and over again, like a videotape playing over and over again. Why had you risked your life like that to protect him?

He couldn't blame you, God he would’ve done the exact same thing, but he couldn't help but be mad at you for doing such a stupid thing. Why did you do it?

-

The surgery lasted about an hour and when you woke up the first thing – or rather person – your eyes rested on was Adam, whose arm was around your waist, his head resting on your belly as he embraced you, his eyes closed.

He wasn't really sleeping, in fact as he felt your fingers in his hair, he jerked up, his eyes widening when he saw you were finally awake.

“Y/N, baby, oh my god thank god you're awake,” he gushed, leaning down and hugging you. “I missed you so much, thank God you're okay.”

You smiled, returning that hug with all the strength you had in your body. “I missed you too.”

“How are you? Are you okay now? Does it hurt?” he peppered you with questions once you broke away from the hug. He sat back on the chair again, but entwined his fingers with yours, never letting go. Your heart almost exploded as he brought your hand to his lips leaving a small kiss on the back.

“I feel a little numb but overall I'm fine,” you replied. “Were you always here?”.

“Of course, I’d never leave you alone baby.”

It must’ve been the stun caused by the surgery but only then you noticed the scratches and small lesions on Adam's knuckles.

“My god Adam, what happened to your hands?”.

“Oh baby you realized it a little too late,” Adam chuckled.

“Adam.”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I may have landed a few punches.”

“Adam!” you exclaimed raising your voice, a painful expression appeared on your face.

“Hey, hey, take it easy,” he spoke concerned “Y/N…” he sighed, “That son of a bitch hurt you, I… I completely lost control.

“Adam, you could get yourself into serious trouble.”

“Honestly? I don't give a fuck. If anything happened to you he wouldn't have to worry about just some punches.”

“Always acting like a macho huh?” You tried not to smile even though his protective side was one of the things you loved most about him.

“Don't even joke Y/N. When it comes to you I lose my mind,” he softly spoke “When I saw you lying on the ground, I feared for a second I lost you and I don’t want to feel like that ever again.”

You let go of his hand only to rest it on his cheek, gently stroking his cheeks and beard. “If something happened to you I would never have forgiven myself. Really Adam… When I saw that guy pointing the gun at you… I didn't understand anything anymore, I didn't want something to happen to you.”

“What you did is very stupid,” he scolded, his eyes watering as he leaned against your touch and you chuckled.

“You would’ve done the same.”

“Absolutely”

“So why shouldn't I?”.

“Because I need you Y/N, I can't think of being without you.”

This little confession cut the breath out of your lungs and the way he looked at you, God, it was so intense you could hardly maintain eye contact but something had bewitched you. There were so many things you wanted to tell him though, so many things you wanted to confess but your brain had shut down and not a single coherent, rational thought crossed your mind.

“Baby…” Adam whispered and that simple word sent a flock of butterflies into your stomach. “I can’t take this anymore…”

“W-what?”.

“Now I’m looking at you and… And you're so fucking beautiful even though you're on a goddamn bed and wearing a hospital gown and you… You’re looking at me like that… You make me lose my mind,” he blathered, not even knowing if whether or not what he was saying made sense but god he couldn't even think straight anymore, he felt so out of control and that was the effect you had on him. It didn't matter how or why, but you were capable of sending every single neuron of his brain into a tailspin, you were capable of giving him tachycardia when you even just looked at him, you were capable of making him forget the whole world.

“How am I looking at you?” you whispered.

“And when you play dumb like that, like you don't even know the effect you have on me, how you drive me crazy,” he went on “How you made me fall so madly in love with you.”

You widened your eyes and your mouth in shock, hardly believing what you had just heard.

You were speechless.

Completely speechless, and it was a rather rare occurrence.

You had dreamed of that moment for so long, you almost couldn't believe it. For a moment you even thought you were still under the influence of anesthesia and everything was happening was just a figment of your imagination.

“I'm sorry to say it like that, I know it must’ve been unexpected for you but after what happened today… I didn't want to waste any more time, life is so short and… Fuck… I know I probably screwed it all…-” he began talking again noticing your silence but you stopped him by placing your index finger on his lips.

“Kiss Me.”

Adam nearly had a heart attack, for a moment fearing he needed a hospital bed. Did he hear it right? Or was it just a hallucination?

You were about to speak again when he leaned towards you, pressing his lips against yours in a longed-for and much-desired kiss.

His hands cupped your face as he completely took your breath away. His lips were warm and soft against yours, just as you had imagined so many times. Your fingers were in his hair and it didn't take long because everything else disappeared, making you forget you were in a hospital room.

You bit his lip and he almost moaned at that sensation, this gesture further increasing the visceral need and desire he felt for you.

“Fuck don't do that again,” he murmured against your lips, finding it hard to control and stop himself. You didn't answer instead you kissed him again. You were so bewitched by Adam and as his scent flooded your nostrils, a thousand butterflies danced in your stomach.

All the pain you felt went in the background, only he existed at that moment, only his lips that continued to devour you in an intense kiss. Your head was spinning, your heart was pounding, your hands tingling, shivers ran down your spine.

“Stop, stop, Jesus Christ, we have to stop or I won’t control myself,” he whispered, pulling away from the kiss for a moment as both of your chests rose and fell as you caught your breath. “You drive me so damn crazy baby, I don't know what to do with you.”

Your eyes were fixed on his even if they alternated on his little swollen lips, red from the kiss. You were overwhelmed by the feeling you had for that man and you knew in that precise moment that a new chapter in your life had just opened, a chapter you couldn't wait to live. Your nose continued to slightly touch his, your lips brushing his, your thumbs stroking his cheeks.

“I'm so madly in love with you too Adam Ruzek,” were the first words you said after the kiss and just for the way he looked at you, you’d take hundred of those bullet and relieve the pain all over again, to see the expression of pure joy and the smile on his beautiful face.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry

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[adonis-koo]

Oh my godd misssy😢 I'm so sorry you've been feeling this way!

Honestly, i was slightly shy to really send in any asks or comments cause, WTF💖?!? I'd be gushing and squealing with puppy like excitement in every of them!

I've RE-read your works over and over again, dear! The way you can string together words and set up these detailed scenarios is just to die for! Not to mention, the intricacy of the fucking plot!! It's rare that I see someone so dedicated to the plot just as they are usually to the romance! Take Tease!au, or wicked!au for example. You've created the PERFECT balance between bitter and sweet in every one of your fics!

And even when it comes to the daddy!jk masterlist of yours, it's a 100% romance😍 and it's never boring.

If I'm being honest, i think what i like most about your writing is the angst. You leave us hanging on, waiting for more in the most artistic way possible. You make me want angst as well! You've always been able to play around with words such that i feel that fucking pang in in my chest.

Also.. i think i may have told you this.. but, my fucking boyfriend liked your stuff. He caught me scrolling through tumblr 😂😂 and he fell flat. Had half a mind to make an account of his own! So it's not just a gender oriented fan base you have.

I'm sorry I've ranted so much, lol. But, I couldn't bare to see such a beautiful and talented writer lose her spirits like this. You might say it's not much, but, i say that there should be absolutely zero depletion in that cheerful spirit.

Please, missy. Don't lose hope. There really are hundreds of thousands of people that enjoy your works. Maybe they've just not been able to work uo the courage to interact as of yet. No matter the case, please.. Don't lose your spirit. You're very very well loved, dear. You have a knack for writing, and it's a very admirable trait. Keep at it!

~ Lily ♡

Lily you got me over here trying not to sniffle and cry 😭😭😭 I’m trying really hard to pull myself out of this slump and it’s not going very well!! It’s far from the first time I’ve had feelings like this so I’ve adjusting to coping but it’s still an awful thing.

And once again, complaining and crying hasn’t really done anything, in fact I feel like it’s just made me feel even worse because again, I don’t want it come across that I don’t appreciate the ones who do support me, I love each and every single one of you!!! (your boyfriend is a bonus LOL but saying I love him would be a little too weird, still very cool that a man enjoyed my writing though and it’s not just gender exclusive🫶)

I’ve loved every moment of writing both Tease and Wicked, that’s something I cannot stress enough., but I was fresh 18 when I first started Tease, I didn’t have nearly the responsibility and stress of life that I have now getting ready to be 24, I look back and reminisce that I was actually able to pump out 10-20k every two weeks so diligently! And it makes me so depressed knowing I can no longer do that.

Not to mention that while it has been rewarding, it has become so much more taxing to my mental health to keep trying, for my own personal enjoyment it has been absolutely rewarding but the demand that people have had over the years has really stressed me out, balancing all of this is such a tricky thing! And at one point I thought it would get easier to balance, but if it does, I haven’t made it yet 😭

You and so many others give me so much encouragement, I just feel so strangely disconnected from my writing and this blog lately and I hope it doesn’t last forever 🥺 thank you so much for taking the time to send such encouraging words my way Lily I will always appreciate you my dear!!! 😭❤️

[four2andnew]

Fic Author Self Rec

Fic authors self-rec! ✨ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers ❤️

Thanks for the tag @liiilyevans! I also find this hard, because it's much easier to be a cheerleader for others than for myself, but here goes -

A Rose in Winter - WIP, M

An Edwardian Era, arranged marriage AU based on a classic, cheesy 80s bodice-ripper romance novel of the same name. After a string of bad luck, the Weasley family is pressuring Ginny to take a wealthy husband. She is swiftly arranged into a marriage contract with the tragic and mysterious Lord Potter, hidden behind a mask and heavy cloak to cover his scars from the attack that made him famous.

I'll even give a little sneak peak of the next installment:

Her nephews and niece gasped and giggled delightedly at the sight of the elves, which earned a broad smile from Whimsy and grumpy scowl from the older elf. Ginny rolled her lips inward and looked down at her plate to hide her smile. Something about the grumpy creature amused her, but she didn’t know her new husband well enough to know if he would think her rude. She glanced at him through her lashes, to find his eyes locked on her, the light shining in from the window behind her and illuminating his irises for the first time. They were a startling green, breathtaking in their beauty and intensity. Ginny felt her cheeks warming under his stare, discomforted by his eyes while the rest of his face remained hidden behind that infernal mask. The moment was broken when Bill leaned toward the stranger on Potter’s right and introduced himself.

“I don’t believe we’ve met. William Weasley, Ginevra’s eldest brother.”

“Sirius Black. Harry’s godfather.”

A hush settled over the table as her brothers stared curiously at Black. Lupin cleared his throat, a smirk swiftly hidden behind his fist. At least she knew why Black’s eyes looked so familiar. It was easy now to make the connection between the two men’s grey eyes and even their black hair, though Ginny supposed Leo must have gotten his bone structure from his mother, because other than his coloring, he looked nothing like Sirius.

Comfortable - 3.7k, T

A self-indulgent, childhood friends to lovers No-Voldemort AU

Neither one of them could definitively say when their friendship had evolved into something more. One day they were tumbling down the hill at the back of The Burrow’s paddock, racing to see who could make it to the bottom first, and then seemingly, the next day they were tumbling into his bed at Potter Cottage, racing to see who could get all their clothes off first.

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t so dramatic of a transition as that. Perhaps it would be easier to define if it had been. In reality, it had been a glacially slow change, one thankfully free from embarrassment and arguing, but antagonizing all the same in that neither knew where the line was drawn. 

Cat and Mouse - 20k, M

An AU where Dumbledore doesn't die at the end of Harry's 6th year and Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 7th year, where he and Ginny get caught up in an angsty are they aren't they relationship. The first fanfic I ever shared and will always have a special place in my heart, even if the ending lost its steam.

Of course, it was hard to guard her heart when he kept pulling her into deserted classrooms and broom closets to snog her senseless. He’d wait until she was walking alone and sneak up on her with that damn cloak and yank her into a closet, where they’d spend the next hour driving each other insane. He’d hold her back after practice under the pretense of going over new chaser drills, only to pin her up against the captain’s office door and tear at her practice kit. He’d whisper sweet nothings in her ear until she was this close to giving in.

But then Ginny would remember those awful words, “I forgot,” and she’d push him away.

“Thanks for the good time, Captain,” she’d say, willing herself to not look over her shoulder as she casually walked away. The next day he would find some new girl to walk to class.

Weasley Pub Nights - 600, T

A fic that made me laugh while writing it, and makes me laugh every time I go back a re-read it.

Once a quarter all the Weasley siblings got together sans spouses and parents and got pissed off their arses. Ginny loves Weasley Pub Night, despite being the only female of the bunch. It’s the one night where her brothers forget to censor their raunchy conversations, the one night where they treat her like just another brother and not their baby sister.

But she is about to fuck it up.

Time - 4.3k, M (probably could be a T+, but I'm paranoid about ratings)

Another self-indulgent fic that I have plans to turn into a series of one-shots. Canon Compliant but Not Epilogue Complaint. An unplanned pregnancy during Ginny's 7th year leads Harry to realize he actually has a really good future to look forward to.

We have time , Harry echoed. Blimey, what a concept. The last eight years had felt like he was trapped in the bottom bowl of a giant hourglass while the sand poured in from above faster than he could keep his head above the level. Everything had rained down on him, pressing him closer and closer to that pinch point on the hourglass where the sand would run out and he would suffocate from it all.

And then he had finally defeated Voldemort and that hourglass had blown apart, scattering the sands of time across the universe and freeing him from the pressure to just survive . Now he could live.

Hm, let's see. Tagging: @corneliaavenue-ao3 and @thenicestthingiveseen and anyone who wants to be better at self-recs!!

[etherealacoustic]

Story Of Us

Pairing - Remus Lupin x Female! Reader

Warnings - none

Summary - a one-shot of the reader and Remus' relationship based on the song 'Story of us'.

Also ahhh I'm so proud of myself for coming up with this❤️

You make me, much better when you're here. I'm lucky when I'm in your atmosphere. Every little move you do, every little thing you say, it saves me from falling much deeper.

You were leaning against the large tree, a book in your hands but your entire attention was focused on the boy sitting in front of you.

Everyone was lazing around, enjoying their free periods. James was playing with the golden snitch, Sirius and Peter laying on the soft grass and laughing at Remus' jokes.

The sunlight shifted ever so slightly and your eyes widened in awe at Remus' illuminated face. His sandy-brown hair shone like gold while his honey eyes could be compared to melted caramel.

You watched as he threw his back when laughter seized him, a complete smile on his face as he caught your eye and grinned.

You felt half of the exhaustion simply vacating your body as you gazed at him, wondering how on earth you were so lucky to call him yours.

He was so beautiful, too good to even be considered a living being.

"You alright there, love?" His voice called out, addressing you with a soft tone.

"I'm fine," you smiled brightly and he mirrored your action before going back to telling some story.

You finally tore your eyes away from the sight rather unwillingly to read the book Lily had suggested to you with so much enthusiasm.

But alas, unintentionally or on purpose, your eyes drifted back to the boy. You were falling hard for him, it's been a year and you still had that childish giddy feeling.

===============================

I lay down my head on your shoulder and think, if I could always be like this. I breathe in your scent and I don't dare to blink, if we could always be like this.

It was late in the night, everyone off to sleep to get some good rest before tomorrow's lessons. With the exception of you of course.

You were laying down on the couch, the fire blazing ahead keeping you warm and comfortable. You couldn't sleep. Not because of any anxiety, your body just wouldn't rest.

You turned your head on hearing soft footsteps walking down the staircase and smiled at Remus, wearing his usual jumper and pyjamas.

"Couldn't sleep as well?" You asked and sat up straight to make space for him.

He nodded his head with a sigh and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you impossibly close.

"Anything troubling you?" He asked, knowing nightmares plagued your mind oftenly.

"Nah," you replied honestly and placed your head on his shoulder. "My body just doesn't want to rest".

"It's telling you to spend time with your boyfriend," he grinned making you chuckle.

"How're you feeling?" You inquired quietly. Your eyes scanning his face to detect any lie.

"Tired," he replied and looked down. Soft brown strands fell onto his forehead making you smile as you pushed them away. "Tired of the transformation. I don't wanna do it".

"I know, love. I know," you buried your face into his neck and carded your fingers through his hair while breathing in his comforting scent.

Chocolate, fresh books and liquorice. It was appealing and soothing at the same time.

"You're always so cuddly," you murmured and pulled back to take in his appearance with a fond smile.

"Well then you know what to do," he said innocently and looked around, waiting for you to make the move.

"Idiot," you laughed, wrapping both of your arms around his neck and his encircled your waist, the two of you hugged each other tightly.

Remus' back touched the seat of the couch, his head resting on the arm rest as he pulled your body closer. After a while, he pushed you up higher and placed his head just below your chin.

"You'll get through this one," you whispered and tried to flatten his hair. "You always do".

"Not like I have a choice anyway," he responded with a forced smile.

He buried his face even further into your neck, his hold tightening around your torso. You could feel his nose nuzzling your jaw and cheek.

All he could think about in that moment was your intoxicating scent. It was something that had always grounded him, managed to comfort him, it was his calm before the oncoming storm.

He let out another heavy sigh and then smiled contently as you absentmindedly played with the neck of his sweater.

"Whatcha thinking 'bout, love?" He questioned and raised his head to look at your face, trying to analyse your reaction.

"Nothing. I'm just happy," you replied after a moment.

He smiled that signature soft smile of his, reserved only for you. "I want to stay like this. Forever".

"Then let's run away," you suggested immediately and he laughed at the troublemaker smirk stretching across your lips.

"Someday," he chuckled and cupped your cheek, caressing the skin before kissing you deeply with every bit of passion.

"Someday," you grinned and pulled the boy in for another one.

===============================

Just listen here we are again, through the fire through the rain. The roads we crossed they built the story of us. Here we are again, and I still feel the same. You and I, we write the story of us.

"Mornin' sleepyhead," came a soft whisper as Remus' eyes fluttered open.

He let out a loud groan and clutched his head before fully opening his eyes and letting everything sink in.

He blinked and his brain finally registered the four people surrounding his bed, their faces quite close to him making them look like absolute buffoons.

"It's awake!" Sirius smirked and started to clap his hands softly.

"Hello Moony!" James grinned at him and you laughed at how the black-haired boy had pushed up his glasses when they had slipped.

Remus gave a weak smile and tried to sit up with their help, internally grateful that he didn't feel like ripping off his skin.

"You feeling okay?" Peter asked and held up his favorite chocolate bar, smiling when the honey-eyed boy had literally snatched them.

"Yep. No migraines, no sore muscles, don't feel like breaking my own bones, don't feel like ripping out my skin so yeah. I'm grand," Remus replied and they laughed.

"Thank goodness," Sirius sighed dramatically and got up. "See ya later, Moons! Take some rest, yeah?"

"Bye Moony," Peter waved and climbed down the stairs after Sirius.

"Don't have too much fun," James winked making the boy groan exasperatedly.

"No promises, Prongsie!" You smirked back as he closed the door behind him.

"Did you have to say that?!" Remus glared in fake annoyance. "He's gonna exaggerate and tell the whole school now".

"Exactly my intention".

He shook his head and chuckled, eyes sweeping over to look at you properly and his grin faded away at your bandaged palm and forearm.

Your eyes widened at his expression and you quickly tried to change the topic. "So um, Pads got these notes for you and I wrote-"

"Did I do that?" He questioned seriously and gestured towards your injured parts.

"Remus you-"

"You didn't have them yesterday, I remember. So that leaves one option. I did that didn't I?"

You sighed and bit your lip, knowing there was no escaping from this. "I was late to transform, and Moony got angry I suppose at seeing a human in his group- so- yeah".

His gaze burned holes in your injuries, his scarred face taking on a defeated and solemn emotion.

"Remus Lupin you listen to me. None of this is your fault, okay? Not a single thing is," you interrupted his negative trail of thoughts.

"Don't be daft," he scoffed lightly. "I was the one who scratched you, how can you even say it's not my fault? And lucky you transformed in time, or I would've cursed you".

"It was my fault," you assessed him gently. "I got distracted and it lead to some minor issues but I'm fine!"

"What if something worse had happened?" He retorted. "How could I have forgiven myself? I still don't," he added and glanced at your palm.

"Remus John Lupin you are insufferable at times I swear to merlin," you sighed and sat down next to him.

"But love! Just think about it! What if-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as your lips cut him off, kissing him hard and gently at the same time.

"That shut your stubborn ass up?" You asked and smirked at his dazed face.

"Yeah," he replied with a dorky grin and his arms snaked around your waist to pull you closer. "I think so".

You smiled but it changed to one full of sincerity as you looked intently at him making him give you a questioning gaze.

You just leaned in closer to cup his face softly in your hands, trying to hold back a grin at the blush rising steadily to his cheeks.

"I love you. And it doesn't matter to me that you're a werewolf, it never will. And yes, I got hurt. But it was due to my carelessness, it was my fault and mine alone. So please don't think of yourself as a monster, love. You're anything but that".

Your hands slipped from his cheeks but he quickly grabbed them and held on. His eyes that were cast downwards met yours, and you were startled to see them glistening with unshed tears.

"Rem?" You whispered in concern, your eyebrows furrowed in thought that you probably said something wrong.

But all he did was pull you towards him and wrapped you into the tightest embrace. His face buried in your shoulders and you could feel the tears that were dripping.

"Hey now. You're gonna make me cry, darling," you muttered and smiled at hearing his small chuckle.

He lifted his face and a shot of pain stung your heart at his state. Trails of tears were seen on his cheeks, his eyes red and slightly puffy and his hair was a complete mess.

"Thank you," he whispered, voice shaking as he nervously looked down once again.

"No need to thank me, pretty boy. You're just too likeable and loveable for your own good," you winked and he blushed hard.

"And also, through the fire and rain remember?" You asked, referencing back to when he'd said it as a joke.

He laughed and wiped his cheeks with his sweater paws. "Through thick and thin," he completed and you smiled brightly.

"Exactly," you grinned and started tickling his sides very gently, being careful to not hurt him.

"Stop it!" He laughed out loud and hopelessly tried to shield his extremely ticklish body away from you. "Love!"

But his loud laughs and happy smile just encouraged you to continue. Wanting him to forget every thing that was troubling him, wishing that he would throw them out of his mind, whether it be only for a moment.

And it worked.

All that filled Remus' mind was you, and only you. He was falling more in love with you, if that was even possible by now. He still was not able to comprehend the amount of love you always showered him with, the constant affection given to him by you.

He had never really felt like this before. This moment where he was so in awe of someone, this feeling was totally new.

You were the one. He was sure of that and so were you. You both were meant for each other.

===============================

Sway with me like a firefly, stay with me 'til the day I die. Write the story of us. Sway with me like a firefly, stay with me 'til the day I die. Write the story of us.

"I'm bored," a whine sounded from a very frustrated and angry Sirius.

"Same here," you replied in an equally annoyed tone and crossed you arms.

The rest looked at the pair of you with amused glances, you two had been pouting for the last ten minutes and they had no idea how to solve this problem.

"Go and do something," Remus suggested but was met with two identical glares.

"There's nothing to go and do," Sirius grumbled and dropped to the floor with a dramatic thud.

"How about we plan a prank?" James suggested eagerly but it was unexpectedly shot down by the sulking duo.

"Not in the mood," they replied in unison.

"Let's go to the kitchen and eat," said Peter and was met with a groan.

"Not hungry," came the reply.

"Now I'm really getting annoyed by the pair of you," James frowned at their sullen faces.

"Rem!" You grumbled and looked at the boy who gave you an inquiring gaze. "I'm bored".

He couldn't help but laugh at the utterly hopeless expression on your face. "I have no idea how to cure this".

"I got it!!" Peter exclaimed and all of you watched as he scurried up the dormitory staircases.

"Please don't let it be something useless," Sirius groaned and rested his head on your shoulder.

But his frown quickly changed into a grin after seeing what Peter had brought.

"Oh you absolute genius," he laughed and grabbed the radio from the delighted boy.

"You're the best," you muttered to a flustered Peter and started selecting records.

"This one!" You cheered and Sirius immediately nodded as you put the record in and pressed play.

"SHE'S GOT A SMILE THAT IT SEEMS TO ME, REMINDS ME OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES!" Sirius yelled out the lyrics and started bouncing on his feet.

"WHERE EVERYTHING WAS AS FRESH AS THE BRIGHT BLUE SKY! NOW AND THEN WHEN I SEE HER FACE, SHE TAKES ME AWAY TO THAT SPECIAL PLACE!" You joined in and bobbed your head while moving to the beat.

"COME ON!" Sirius called out and you took his extended arm, allowing him to twirl you around. You both laughed as each did some ridiculous moves.

"Up you get!" You grinned at your friends and grabbed Remus' hands to pull him up to his feet.

"I don't wanna dance," he mumbled half-heartedly as you controlled his arms to move side by side.

"Yes you do!" You retorted and your smile grew bigger as the chorus neared and Remus started to get energetic too.

"WHOA, OH OH! SWEET CHILD O' MINE!" James bellowed and swayed his hips to the rhythm without a care in the world.

"WHOA, OH OH OH! SWEET LOVE OF MINE!" Peter yelled loudly and his feet moved quite skillfully.

Remus' face held the brightest grin as you backed away and then he pulled you in, his palm resting on your waist as you swayed to the music.

You laughed as he twirled you around and then tugged you against his chest, your faces inches away as he gazed deeply into your eyes.

Your hands rested on chest while his were placed securely on your hips, neither of you breaking the intense eye-contact.

The two of you didn't even notice the song changing until the chaotic movement around had stopped to a exaggerated romantic mood.

"I hold onto your whole body and feel each move you make. Your voice is warm and tender, a love that I could not forsake," said the lyrics.

A smile adorned your lips at that. Such a perfect song to describe the perfect moment.

Your eyes flickered upwards and your breath hitched at how close he was. You could feel his soft breath, sense his heart thudding madly under your palm, and see the obvious love present in his honey-brown eyes.

"Cause I'm your lady and you are my man. Whenever you reach for me, I'll do all that I can," you sang the lyrics. Your eyes never leaving his and he understood the meaning behind your fixed gaze.

So he smiled softly and returned the sweet gesture by singing the next lines for you.

"We're heading for something, somewhere I've never been. Sometimes I am frightened but I'm ready to learn, of the power of love," he whispered and pressed his lips on your forehead with extreme gentleness.

Your heart melted at his actions and all you could do was rest your head onto his shoulder. "You'll stay with me?"

"Forever," he replied firmly.

===============================

Don't fail me, that's my biggest fear. Keep sailing, on waves of love my dear. Nobody can make me feel, anything like you so real. You save me from falling much deeper.

You were continuously bouncing your leg, arms crossed over the hoodie as you bit your lip in thought.

A deep sigh escaped from your mouth as you stared at the door of the boys dormitory. Once again the debate started in your mind, should you go in? Or should you not?

You leaned against the wall and massaged your forehead. Goddamn you and your bloody anxiety nightmares.

It was the third night in a row and you were still plagued by the same horror over and over again. You felt almost childish at fretting over the same thing, but it was too bad. Worse even.

The last nights you had immediately went over to Remus and he had helped you graciously. But now it felt like too much, like you were a constant trouble. It was way past midnight and you didn't want to wake him up when he himself had trouble falling asleep, but you wanted comfort and that honey-eyed boy was your best and first choice.

He had always reassured you that it would never matter to him if you visit him in the dead of the night, whether it be for a serious issue or a simple talk. He would always be there. Always.

Would he be angry? You thought, and groaned loudly at your terrible state. Why were you thinking so much? It was Remus Lupin for Godric's sake. He would never brush you off, would never let you down.

So gathering herself up and inhaling deeply, you pushed open the door with minimal noise and stepped inside.

There wasn't any need for light to see everything, the moon provided with enough as you moved towards Remus' bed and gently pulled apart the curtains.

Once again a huge weight of guilt tightened your chest when you looked at his peacefully sleeping form. He was laid down on his side. One of his arm under the pillow and the other positioned in front of his face as he breathed softly.

Trying to push away those negative thoughts, you silently walked over and climbed onto the bed carefully.

But whether fortunately or unfortunately, Remus was not that much of a heavy sleeper. So when he felt movement around him and heard the bed dip, his eyes slowly opened and squinted to see in the dark.

"L- Love?" He asked with a deep voice and let out a tired yawn.

"Yep. It's me," you mumbled and sat cross-legged while simply looking at him.

"What's wrong?" He murmured and tried to get up on his elbows, his eyes still half closed.

"The same," you replied quietly and he nodded, taking your hand and tugging you against him.

He was lying down on his side, arms wrapped around your waist as he pressed sleepy kisses on the side of your head.

"Sorry for waking you," you muttered and relaxed under his touch.

"No problem. 's all fine," he smiled with his eyes closed and tangled his legs with yours, heating up your entire body almost immediately.

"But I woke you! And you were looking so peaceful and I know you have trouble falling asleep and that this was probably one time you slept peacefully and I ruined it-"

"Oh shut up," he grumbled and pushed your head against his chest so you'd be quiet. "I said it's fine and what part did you not understand?"

"I understood you perfectly," you slightly pulled away and rolled your eyes. "I just-"

"Shush!" He interrupted again and silenced you by the only thing that came to his mind, kissing you.

When you opened your eyes, an adorable dorky grin spread across your face making Remus chuckle softly as he caressed your cheek with his thumb.

"Sleep now, yeah?" He whispered and you nodded slowly, head resting right above his heart to hear it thudding madly and then slowing down.

"Thanks Rem," you muttered and pushed yourself up to kiss his cheek.

"Always, my love. I've told you this before haven't I? You can talk to me any time that you want, it doesn't matter," he smiled.

A sense of relief washed over you and you hugged him tighter, your mind abruptly overwhelmed as every emotion seemed to hit you at this moment.

You would call yourself foolish just for doubting for one minute that Remus would never be there, that maybe he'd be upset at you waking him up.

This was when you realised that boy was here to stay, he would never fail you. You had found your soulmate, your life partner.

"I love you," you winked and tried to flirt with your own boyfriend.

His loud laugh resonated in the room at your silly behaviour. "I love you too, you dork".

===============================

I lay down my head on your shoulder and think, if I could always be like this. I breathe in your scent and I don't dare to blink, If we could always be like this.

Remus was walking across the courtyard, an usual but serene atmosphere around him, definitely due to the absence of his chaotic friends and girlfriend.

His feet made a gentle sound as he moved, looking up at the bright blue sky and smiling at the warm weather.

When suddenly out of nowhere, he felt a poke on his cheek and he turned around, frowning at seeing no one.

He must've imagined something, he thought and continued his slow walk.

But he felt a poke again, this time on his other cheek and he looked around again but saw no one near him.

"Sirius," he muttered to himself and shook his head as he resumed his pacing, keeping a close eye if he felt the touch once more.

After several more pokes and nudges and another bunch of unsuccessful attempts at catching the ghost, he grew frustrated and crossed his arms on his chest.

"Sirius or whoever you are. Please present yourself," he grumbled with a small glare.

But after a few seconds, his eyes widened on feeling lips touch his cheek and he turned around so fast that his neck almost snapped.

A smile spread across his face as he saw the culprit stick out her tongue and cackle maniacally before sprinting away.

"You can't outrun me!" He shouted and started chasing after you, laughter escaping both of your lips.

He was only inches away and finally took hold of your hand in a firm grip, effectively stopping you and pulled you into him, your back pressed against his chest.

"Gotcha," he murmured in your ear, a grin on his face at your annoyed pout.

"Atleast I managed to frustrate you," a chuckle sounded and you winked at him as he swung his arm around your shoulder.

"I thought that was Sirius," he said amusedly. "But you were the mysterious ghost".

"Beware of me, Lupin! I'll be sure to haunt you at midnight," you whispered in a scary voice, wiggling your fingers at him threateningly.

"Sure," he smiled, not scared in the least and instead quite endeared by your haunted expression.

You teo walked over to the grounds and sat underneath the large tree, both of your backs pressed against the trunk.

"Want some?" He asked and offered you your favorite piece of chocolate.

You nodded and he held it close to your lips, waiting for you to open your mouth and when you did, he pulled his hand back and ate the chocolate himself with a devilish grin.

"You're so mean," you sighed in disbelief. "No one ever dares to mess with me and my food and you happen to be the first person to do so".

"I'm honoured," he faked a look of emotional pride and raised his hand to his chest.

"I hate you," a frown visible on your face as you threw a glare at the grinning boy.

"I love you too," he said in a sing-song voice.

You tried to not smile and avoided looking at him as your lips started to twitch upwards.

"Peace offering?" He murmured and held out another bar of chocolate for you to accept.

"No," you refused instantly.

"Chocolate with a kiss?" He asked and tried to tempt you by leaning closer and closer.

"No?" He questioned at your lack of response though a small smirk was there at seeing your face becoming red.

"I-"

But before you could even say anything more, you were cut off by his lips being pressed against your gently as his hands went down to your waist.

"Remus you-"

He interrupted you again by another kiss, a little rough this time as he pushed you back against the tree.

The honey-eyed boy pulled away at last, a dazed and thrilled expression on his face as he watched you with a smug look.

"Oh piss off," you laughed and cupped your own cheeks to hide the blush from him.

You saw a piece of chocolate resting on his palm that was extended towards you and with a defeated sigh, it was accepted.

He grinned pointedly and laid his head on your shoulder, his eyes sparkling with affection for his girl.

"I still hate you," you whispered softly and rested your head against his.

"I still love you," came his sing song voice and he grinned as you flushed and rolled your eyes.

===============================

Just listen here we are again, through the fire through the rain. The roads we crossed they built the story of us. Here we are again, and I still feel the same. You and I, we write the story of us.

"I swear to merlin if you sigh one more time I'm gonna rip your head off," Marlene threatened and glared at you.

You just roll your eyes and snuggle deeper under the covers, holding you pillow tightly against your chest.

"Just talk to him!" Lily interrupted and there was annoyance on her features.

"You think I haven't tried? He doesn't even look at me anymore," you whine and pull the blanket over your face.

It was the truth actually. Ever since the intense argument between you and Remus, the boy hadn't so much as glanced in your direction, much less talk.

You admitted it to be your fault but he was still intent on ignoring you and giving you the silent treatment for godric knows how long.

It was a big secret, too important to be kept in the dark from him. But it was too personal for you and that was what worried you more than ever.

Sirius knew, he was the first person you'd told because he understood your situation, probably better than you did yourself. And then somehow James found out, and then Remus who was the last.

"It's been three days," Dorcas piped in unhelpfully making you groan.

"Thanks for the reminder".

"You two are too stubborn and this ain't working if y'all keep this going on," Marlene muttered seriously.

"But I've been trying to talk to him every single day and that guy doesn't give a flying duck!" You exclaimed angrily.

"He feels betrayed. Hurt even," Lily murmured softly. "You shouldn't have lied to him, you know".

"I do know! But I'm not comfortable on sharing it with everyone! He should understand".

"Remus is the most understanding person I've known," she continued with a gentle voice. "He feels hurt and rightfully so. You've been together for almost two years now and he thought you'd trust him enough to not keep anything".

Your heart lurched with guilt at her statement. You trusted him, you really did.

"But now that he finds out about the secret from Sirius and James rather than his own girlfriend, he's upset," Dorcas concluded.

"I just wasn't ready," you mumbled and rubbed your left forearm where the mark had permanently tainted your skin. "I thought he'd be disgusted and would leave".

"You didn't have a choice," Lily coaxed and pulled you in a hug. "He knows that".

"And did we leave? Then there's not even a question of him leaving, it doesn't make sense," Dorcas smiled and rubbed your shoulder.

Remus Lupin was important to you and he wasn't understanding just how much. It was because of that importance that you had hesitated for a million times. It wasn't the question of trust, you blindly trusted him. But this was a really personal and serious topic to go around telling everyone.

But you knew it to be your fault, it was your fault. You should have told him somehow, or atleast tried to. That boy had revealed his deepest secrets to you, giving you a testimony to the amount of trust he had in you. And you had done exactly the opposite.

"Let's go out somewhere," Marlene suggested and got up. "You've been cooped up in here for too long".

"Yeah," you mumbled and half-heartedly stood up, your body not even having the strength to simply walk.

"Oh show some energy, you dimwit!" Dorcas grinned and quite literally dragged you down the stairs.

A small laugh escaped your lips and the girls all cheered internally.

"Alright we're playing tag!" She suddenly announced and started chasing after them without so much of a headstart.

The others all screamed loudly and began running for their lives, "THAT'S UNFAIR!"

The game went for for a good whole ten minutes and all of you decided to sit down to take a breath.

"Once more!" Lily yelled and this time she was the one to chase after the others.

"How in merlin's eyeballs are you so fast?! She exclaimed in disbelief after failing to catch you for three times.

You just stuck out your tongue and sprinted forward while glancing behind to see where your favorite red-head was when you collided against something- or- someone.

"Holy merlin!" You groaned and reached out your palms to balance yourself, not registering a certain pair of arms wrapping around your waist.

But once it did strike you that it wasn't a thing- but a person, your eyes widened and you pulled away to see Remus.

The two of you were quite close. Your palms pressed against his chest while his arms were holding your waist. Neither of you making the move to pull apart.

You gaze slowly shifted to his eyes, a small smile about to break on your lips at seeing his honey-brown eyes again. Though the happiness dropped soon enough at his expressionless face.

"Sorry," you muttered and reluctantly distanced yourself.

"Be careful," he replied back and it was probably the end of your conversation it if hadn't been for his arms still around you.

"I'm sorry," the apology fell from your lips again, this time directed towards your argument.

"I was hurt, you know? I thought we both trusted each other a lot, that there weren't any secrets of any kind between us," he said in a soft voice.

"I know!" You grumbled and unconsciously moved closer and his grip tightened as well. "I trust you, Remus. Believe me I do. But this felt like a much more complicated secret and I just couldn't get it out".

"You told Sirius," he whispered, not angry but a little insecure.

"I did," you admitted. "Because at that time I thought he was the one who'll understand my situation the most".

He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off, "I'm sorry, Remus. I- I swear I never wanted to keep such a big thing from you. I was scared".

"Of what?"

"You leaving. Getting disgusted by me and breaking up".

His neutral face quickly changed into one full of disbelief and sadness. "How can you think like that? I'd never leave you, much less for something that was not even your choice in the first place".

"Come on," you laughed bitterly. "Who wants to be in a relationship with a girl who's branded with the dark mark?"

"I do," he said simply. "And it's not just your fault, it was mine too. I shouldn't have ignored you, should've tried to understand your situation better".

You nodded, agreeing with everything and looked down, staring at the ground.

He bit his lip in tiny hesitation and slowly raised his palm to cup your cheek, smiling as your head involuntarily leaned into his. His hand directed your face to look up at him and the both your eyes searched each other's faces, scanning every little thing.

"Missed you," he sighed as your thumb caressed the small scar on his cheekbone. His arms returning back to encircling your waist and pulling you flush against him.

"Ditto Mr Lupin," a small smile stretched your lips and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry again, love. I really shouldn't have ignored you like that," he murmured and rested his forehead against yours.

"It's okay, we're okay".

"I love you so much," he whispered and opened his eyes, your noses slightly brushing. "And it doesn't matter to me that you've got the dark mark. You don't support their people, you don't support their actions, their choices and that's all for me".

"I love you too," you smiled a full smile.

"On second thought, if we cancel the fact that it's supposed to be bad, the tattoo does look bloody cool on you".

You laughed out loud this time and laid your head on his shoulder, happy at feeling his warmth and comfort once again.

===============================

Sway with me like a firefly, stay with me 'til the day I die. Write the story of us. Sway with me like a firefly, stay with me 'til the day I die. Write the story of us.

Remus Lupin and you, the perfect couple, the power duo, the ideal pair.

It had been two complete years that y'all were dating and they were filled with every type of emotion.

It just felt natural. The boy who had once been your closest friend was now your boyfriend, one of the most important person in your life.

And you were happy.

The two of you had been through a lot. Had playful moments, adorable confessions, stubborn fights, emotional reunions and a beautiful relationship.

You had fought like murderous people but had always came back to each other.

Each of you had been a shoulder for the other to cry on.

Each of you had been the arms to hold and fix the broken pieces of the other.

Each of you had been the reason for the brightest smile on the other's faces after having a long day.

Each of you had been the reason for the faint or deep blush painting the other's cheeks.

At the moment, your group was lounging on the open grounds, lazing under the shade of the huge tree.

You and James were running around barefoot on the grass, laughing cheerfully as you messed around while the others smiled.

You stopped and stood for awhile, looking around to see Remus walking towards you and you waved frantically, gaining his attention.

"CATCH ME!" Was the only warning the honey-brown haired boy had before you were sprinting toward him at full speed, putting your entire trust in him without any sort of hesitation because you knew he would catch you.

And he did, of course he did.

His arms wrapped just above your knees and you were lifted up in the air, laughter heard from both of you as he spun you around.

You spread out your arms, the bright smile never leaving your face as you were spinning without a care in the world.

His eyes on the other hand didn't stray away from you for even a second. Taking in your illuminated body, your ecstatic grin and just watching your every movement with a loving and affectionate gaze.

This was it. This was your story.

===============================

[4yo-yo4]

yesterday was such a good day

sorry this is gonna be reeeeallly long lol

I was w Bee in the morning and my brother was throwing around a ball with his friend and Bee said “Caroline, watch out!!!” Lol bc they were gonna hit me and i was like huh? but the ball went past me and she said “How do you not have fast reflexes by now? I have a son- you have a brother and you dont have fast reflexes? Come ooonnnn” Lolll

there was one point where they would’ve actually hit me but i dodged it and she said “That was better!”

and then they started throwing it over her head 💀 she ducked down after the other kid caught the ball and i thought to myself “where those fast reflexes at?”

also before all that she was talking to me about how her grade (1st) is singing at mass saturday and she joked “Do I have to go tomorrow if I’m already going to mass today? I dont wanna… is that bad? sorry🤣🤣”

she went to mass yesterday (friday) w the school bc we all go to mass as a school on friday morning

but usually the younger grades don’t go, they just livestream it bc of covid and i didn’t know they were coming yesterday

Even after she said that I still didn’t know because I was so lost in thought thinking about how beautiful she is and how she was talking to me and how much i love her laugh

so i was so surprised when I saw her and i was like omggggg she’s hereeeee AAAA

that’s when our whole convo actually registered in my head 💀

and she was glancing at me during mass 😏 Lol

I had forgotten my chromebook at home yesterday, so i asked my dad to bring it and he said he would

i went to lunch and still didn’t have it so i was like wtv he prob forgot about it its fine

I saw Bee on the way to lunch and she said hi 🥰

later I was sitting at a table eating & waiting for my friends when I saw her come back out of the corner of my eye and i was like 😮‍💨 act cool act cool just be normal

and i noticed she was walking towards me so i turned around and SHE HAD MY CHROMEBOOK

she handed it to me and she said

( she was talking very fast and she seemed kinda nervous it was so adorable)

hi i had your chromebook.. i probably should’ve just brought it with me when i came to do lunch duty in the first place but i forgot it sorry bye

awe 😭❤️

and then at the end of the day i ran into her as she was leaving and she was taking one of her students outside with her for his parents to pick him up and she said to him “Do you know who that is? 😁🤩 That’s Mrs. ********’s daughter! Caroline this is Carlos.” (my mom is his teacher)

~~~~~~~~~~

i went to church today again

(tooootally to see her class and not her)

i wasn’t even sure if she would be there but I still got all pretty and went

I didnt see her come in

she walked past me and i was like 😍😍😍

she was with her husband of course (Chris😜🤑☠️)

when little kids go up to sing and do little dances at masses, their teachers sit on the floor in front of them against the pews so they’re kinda hidden and they do the hand motions to the songs to help the little ones remember

my mom didn’t really know them, so she had asked me to sit and help the kids too

and when I was walking up to sit, Bee was behind me and she said “oh my god I’m sitting with Caroline- Where are you sitting?” and she touched the back of my arm 🥺 it felt so nice

she sounded like me talking excitedly to my friends whenever I see her lolll

and she sat with me and we did it and it was so adorable

the kids love her so much its the sweetest thing

and her face is so cute when she says hi to them and they give her hugs omg she looks so happy

my heart hurts every time i think about it

like rn

i get literal pains im so in love with her

im so scared for next year bc im going to a different school and most likely never will see her again

but i hate thinking about that

im not the church kinda person but im gonna go every single weekend just to see her

gosh i never knew i was capable of loving so much

bruh idek what to do with all of this emotion