#i feared i would resent the country for forcing me out. that i would only ever feel bitter again as i wandered its streets and landscapes

[queer-crusader]

Man I've run right out of spoons. Fucking despise shopping. Never again. Goodbye free time for the next 2 weeks now apart from MAYBE the coming weekend, wish me luck lads

[euno11a]

Can I get a mafia yoongi Drabble where they are forced to get married. But at the last second the reader runs away and thinks the coast is clear but yoongi finds her and smut ensues??

Nah because I actually had a lot of fun writing this one 😭😭 I also tried writing with “Y/N” so let me know if you like it!

Warnings: mentions of smut (not completely tho), slight angst in a way??, runaway bride 🏃‍♀️👰‍♀️, kinda yandere vibes

The rain pounded against the windows of the small church as Y/N stood at the altar, her heart racing with fear and uncertainty. She couldn't believe this was happening. She was being forced to marry one of the most feared mafia leaders in the country, Min Yoongi.

She had always known about Yoongi and his infamous reputation in the underworld, but she never thought she would be caught up in it. Her father, who was deeply in debt to Yoongi, had made a deal with him to marry Y/N in order to clear his debts.

Y/N's hands were shaking as she held onto her bouquet of white roses, her mind racing with thoughts of escape. But she knew deep down that there was no way out. She was trapped in this marriage and there was nothing she could do about it.

As the priest began the ceremony, Y/N's eyes darted around the room, searching for any possible way out. But her hopes were dashed as she saw Yoongi's men stationed at every exit, guns at the ready.

'Y/N, do you take Min Yoongi as your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?' the priest asked, his voice echoing in the quiet church.

Y/N's heart was pounding in her chest as she looked at the man standing before her, his dark eyes filled with a mix of determination and anger. She knew she had no choice but to say yes.

'I-I do,' she stuttered, her voice barely audible.

'Yoongi, do you take Y/N as your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?' the priest asked, turning to face Yoongi.

Yoongi's gaze never left Y/N's as he answered, 'I do.'

The priest pronounced them husband and wife, and Yoongi wasted no time in pulling Y/N into a searing kiss. Y/N tried to pull away, but Yoongi's grip on her was too strong. She could feel his anger and frustration through the roughness of his kiss.

As they pulled away, Y/N's mind was racing with thoughts of escape. She needed to get out of here, before it was too late. But before she could make a move, Yoongi's voice cut through her thoughts.

'Let's go home, Mrs. Min,' he said, a smirk playing on his lips.

Y/N's heart dropped at the sound of those words. She was now officially married to one of the most dangerous men in the country, and there was no turning back.

As they arrived at Yoongi's luxurious mansion, Y/N was greeted by a group of women who were to be her new servants. They showed her to her room, which was more like a prison cell. It had no windows and only one door, which she knew was guarded at all times.

Y/N couldn't believe the situation she was in. She was trapped in a loveless marriage to a man she barely knew, and she had no way out. But she refused to give up. She would find a way to escape, no matter what it took.

As the days went by, Y/N tried to make the best of her situation. She would often find Yoongi in his study, surrounded by his men, discussing business. She could see the ruthless side of him during those meetings, and it only made her fear him more.

But as the nights went by, Y/N found herself drawn to Yoongi's bedroom. She couldn't explain the pull she felt towards him, but she knew she needed him. She needed to feel something other than fear and resentment.

One night, as she lay in her bed, she heard noises coming from Yoongi's room. She couldn't resist the urge to see what was happening, so she quietly made her way to his room and peeked through the slightly open door.

Her breath caught in her throat as she saw Yoongi with another woman, his hands roaming her body as they kissed passionately. Y/N's heart shattered at the sight, but she couldn't look away.

Suddenly, Yoongi's eyes snapped open and he caught sight of Y/N standing in the doorway. Without a word, he pulled the woman off of him and stormed towards Y/N.

'What are you doing here?' he growled, his eyes blazing with anger.

'I-I heard noises and I-I wanted to see what was happening,' Y/N stuttered, trying to keep her voice steady.

'Get out,' Yoongi spat, his hand grabbing Y/N's arm and pushing her out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Y/N couldn't hold back her tears as she made her way back to her room. She couldn't believe that Yoongi was already cheating on her, just days after their forced marriage. She felt so alone and trapped, with no one to turn to.

But little did she know, Yoongi was also feeling trapped. He didn't want this marriage any more than she did, but he had no choice. He needed to maintain his reputation and keeping Y/N as his wife was the only way to do that.

As the days went by, Y/N couldn't shake off the feeling of being watched. She could feel Yoongi's gaze on her at all times, and it only made her more anxious. She knew she needed to get out of here, before it was too late.

One night, as she lay in bed, she heard a noise outside her room. She cautiously got up and made her way to the door, hoping it was someone who could help her escape.

But as she opened the door, she was met with darkness. Suddenly, a strong hand grabbed her from behind and a cloth was placed over her mouth. She tried to scream, but the cloth muffled her voice. Before she could fight back, she fell into a deep sleep.

When she woke up, she found herself in a small cabin in the middle of nowhere. She looked around, confused and disoriented, until she saw Yoongi sitting in a chair across from her, a cold expression on his face.

'What is this place?' Y/N asked, her voice trembling with fear.

'It's a safe house,' Yoongi answered, his voice devoid of any emotion.

'Why am I here?' Y/N asked, her heart pounding in her chest.

'Because you tried to run away. I can't have my wife trying to escape,' Yoongi said, his eyes never leaving Y/N's.

Y/N's heart dropped at the mention of her forced marriage. She couldn't believe that she was still stuck in this situation.

'Please, just let me go. I won't tell anyone, I promise,' Y/N pleaded, tears streaming down her face.

'I can't do that, Y/N. You know too much about me and my business. I can't risk you going to the authorities,' Yoongi said, his voice cold and calculated.

Y/N's heart shattered at his words. She was just a pawn in his game, a means to maintain his power and control. She felt so helpless and alone.

But as the days went by, Y/N and Yoongi's relationship began to change. They started talking more and slowly, Y/N began to see a different side of Yoongi. He wasn't just a ruthless mafia leader, he was also a man who had been forced into this life, just like her.

One night, as they sat by the fire, Yoongi reached out and took Y/N's hand in his. She looked at him, surprised by his sudden gesture.

'I know this isn't the ideal situation, Y/N. But I want you to know that I won't hurt you. I never wanted this marriage, but I promise to protect you and keep you safe,' Yoongi said, his voice sincere.

Y/N's heart melted at his words. She never thought she would find any sort of comfort in this situation, but Yoongi's words gave her a glimmer of hope.

As they sat there, holding hands and talking, their conversation turned into something more. Yoongi's lips were on hers, and she couldn't resist him any longer. She needed this, she needed to feel something other than fear and resentment.

Their kiss turned into something more passionate and intense, and before they knew it, they were making love on the floor of the cabin. Their bodies moved in perfect synchronization, their moans filling the small space.

As they lay there, tangled in each other's arms, Y/N couldn't believe what had just happened. She had just made love to her forced husband, the man she was supposed to fear and hate.

But as Yoongi held her close, she couldn't deny the feelings she had for him. She knew that this was wrong and that she should hate him, but she couldn't. She was falling for him, and there was no turning back.

From that day on, Y/N and Yoongi's relationship changed. They were no longer just a forced couple, but two people who had found solace and love in the most unexpected situation.

As they returned to the mansion, Y/N knew that things would be different from now on. She was no longer a prisoner in this marriage, but a willing partner to the man she loved.

And as they walked through the door, hand in hand, Y/N couldn't help but feel grateful for the unexpected turn of events. She had found love in the most unlikely of places, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

[imperial-russia]

Maybe I missed it because you already wrote about it, but what is your view of Catherine I, as a person? She is called The Great which of course alludes to her reign and prestige, but as a person later in life she doesn't strike me as particularly kind, especially to her son. In my view, what I have learned of her so farm is she held onto the throne for so long, rather than give it to her son at some point in his adult life. Wasn't he the rightful heir, considering Catherine herself admitted i writing he was legitimate and her husband's son, not one of her lovers? His first wife died and he grieved and to snap him out of it she told him how she cheated on him? I know he was separated from Catherine from birth but she had the chance to make their relationship count later and she just didn't seem to have understood him, at all, I'm being mild here. And he resented her too, which reflects in his choices when he became Tsar. I just think the succession would have been so much more smooth and thus good for the nation if their mother son relationship wasn't as bad as it was. It wasn't Pavels fault his father didn't have a good marriage to his mother.

I find it extremely tricky to judge a character of these bygone personalities because they are so complex and often have to make decisions none of us could face.

Personally, I think Catherine deserves to be admired for many things. She was ambitious, highly intelligent, passionate, and genuinely wanted to better life for the Russian people and further the country´s progress culturally, scientifically, diplomatically, and of course militarily. And all that, especially the military bit, came at the cost of the suffering of the anonymous crowds we know nothing about. But her achievements were undeniable and her legacy is one of the greatest Russia can boast about now.

She had lofty ideals and was at first very much determined to make them a reality, but even an Empress, especially in Russia at that time, cannot just change everything. Catherine´s power, especially in her early reign, depended on the noble families and she had to keep those on her side, so her ideals of ending the serfdom had to be postponed and were so indefinitely, etc.

Her family life was a mess though, from the very start. Her mother saw her only as a pawn for her own ambitions, eventually leaving Russia in disgrace and without even saying goodbye, Empress Elizabeth liked her in her own strange way, but there was never any closeness or true warmth between the two women. her marriage was an utter disaster and her children were all snatched away from her the moment they were born and she was hardly ever even allowed to see them. Catherine overcame her losses and personal tragedies because she decided to become something more. In fact, had she not decided to seize the power, she may have well been driven out of Russia or even killed herself.

And once her little palace revolt had been completed, she would simply not give up what she gained to her little son for several reasons. Firstly, he truly was just a child, unable to rule anyway. Secondly, after years of humiliation and fear, she was now in the position of being feared and respected. And finally, the Rolov brothers and their forces wanted her on the throne, not Pavel, and she was beholden to them.

I think Catherine grew to dislike and later truly despise her son only when he grew older and as she became an old woman herself, she got that trait of many old people who become more capricious, and selfish and believe their experiences make them, if not omnipotent, definitely better informed and cleverer than anyone else around. And she did things that were deliberately aimed at hurting Pavel, like denying him any responsibilities, instead of giving him some function at court and trying to groom him into an heir. Perhaps the worst thing she did was take away from him his eldest children in the same manner Empress Elizabeth had done to her. And allowing the rumour/information about Pavel´s paternity to simply go around was yet another attempt to hurt him. Personally, I tend to believe Pavel was the son of Peter III, based on the inherited personality traits and recently I have also come across a report that Nicholas II´s DNA tracing led to direct ancestors of Peter III. furthermore, Catherine probably hated Pavel ALSO based on the fact he was, in many ways, like her husband. I imagine had he been as pretty and gallant as her lover Saltykov, it would have been a different story.

Pavel was so very different from Catherine and in opposition to her so vocally, that she was also afraid he would run to the ground everything she had built. And that was simply unthinkable.

Catherine could be generous and caring, but as a woman in a very unique position, a woman who controlled an immense empire and had a say and care about every aspect of it, she had to make (and made) many decisions which naturally we today find cruel, unjust and selfish. To be an effective leader, you cannot rule as an angel, unless your subjects, ministers, family members, and other monarchs, are also angels. What matters most is, eventually, what remains when you are gone.

Catherine had given much to too many people not to be remembered, if not kindly, than with respect. She was not a good mother to her son at all, but she was more successful with her grandsons, and she was especially successful in the role of the mother of the nation.

[deadpresidents]

"You know very well, sir, for you were familiar with my views while I was President, what my estimate of [Ulysses S.] Grant was, and I don't know anything that has since occurred that has caused me to change my mind the slightest. I know Grant thoroughly. I had ample opportunity to study him when I was President, and I am convinced he is the greatest farce that was ever thrust upon a people. Why, the little fellow -- excuse me for using the expression, but I can't help pitying him -- the little fellow has nothing in him. He hasn't a single idea. He has no policy, no conception of what the country requires. He doesn't understand the philosophy of a single great question, and is completely lost in trying to understand his situation. He is mendacious, cunning and treacherous. He lied to me flagrantly, by God, and I convicted him by my whole Cabinet; but that even would have been tolerable were it the only instance, but it was not. He lied on many other occasions.

I tell you, sir, Grant is nothing more than a bundle of petty spites, jealousies and resentments. And yet they say Grant is a second Washington. Only think of it, when you compare him with Washington or Jefferson where is he? Why he is so small you must put your finger on him. He, a little upstart, a coward, physically and intellectually, to be compared to George Washington! Why, it makes me laugh. I have more pity for the man than contempt, for I have no spite against him. But I fear for the country when such a man is likened to the father of his country. Why, just look at the inaugural of Washington. He speaks about his fear and trembling in accepting the Presidency, even after all his experience and success. But this little fellow Grant, an upstart, a mere accident of the war, a creature without the ability to comprehend the philosophy of a single great question, says in his inaugural, 'I know the responsibility is great, but I accept it without fear.' Is that like Washington or Jefferson? Pshaw! It's monstrous to think of.

Grant, I tell you, sir has no ideas, no policy. Why, Washington considered that a man's greatness was measured by his morality, by the standard of his soul. And I have always considered that the more soul a man had, the more developed the soul or intellect within him, the more Godlike he became. But, sir, Grant has nothing. Physically and mentally and morally he is a nonentity. Why, sir, his soul is so small that you could put it within the periphery of a hazel nutshell and it might float about for a thousands years without knocking against the walls of the shell. That's the size of his soul.

Just look at the man sitting at a Cabinet council. He has no idea, no policy, no standard, no creed, not faith. How can he guide the people? How can he impress any great improvements or moral ideas upon the nation? He has no object to look forward to, no leading aim to draw the people towards any particular end. He sits there with his Cabinet. One member has bought him a house in Philadelphia, another has given him $65,000, another has given him a carriage, and so on. It is degrading to the office of President of the United States to have such a man there.

They talk about his generalship. Well, he was a mere incident of the war. Men and arms were supplied in abundance, and his forces were so massive that they simply crushed out the rebellion. It would have been done had Grant never been born. Therefore he was a mere incident. But the little fellow has come to think he is somebody really. I can't help pitying him when I think how well I know him and what an infinitesimal creature he really is."

-- Former President Andrew Johnson, delivering a scathing attack on President Ulysses S. Grant, shortly after Johnson left the White House, during an interview with a correspondent from the New York Herald, June 27, 1869

[quietly-by-myself]

Fearless - Chapter 6

Masterlist

Thank you to @darkthingshappen for beta reading this. You're always so much help with improving these chapters! And thank you to @whumpsday for cheering me on and just, loving Kaloyan so much.

CW: nonhuman whumpee, human whumpee, nonhuman whumper, intimate whumper, vampire/dhampir whumpee, noncon blood drinking, murder/killing of a human, forced to kill, unreality, sadistic choice, mention of dismemberment, broken whumpee, abusive/neglectful parents, dead parents, war situations

===

Nikolay couldn’t have felt more out of place, sitting there, among fae creatures. Of course, Kaloyan was seated right next to him, reassuringly, in that house of wolves. They were mostly vampires and reptilian creatures - fae creatures that would kill Nikolay had he not been Kaloyan’s mage.

In reality, both of them were protected by a legacy - a legacy that Nikolay despised. A legacy that had gotten Nikolay’s father killed and forced his mother out of the country. It wasn’t as though Kaloyan was any better off for it either. His father was a bastard through and through. Kaloyan would never have been good enough for him, even if he was a full blooded vampire.

“We must take back the land that we lost because of Casimir’s death,” one of the ministers declared proudly. 

There was a small, almost inaudible groan in the room. A few of the ministers had the gall to roll their eyes.

“With all due respect, you seem very intent on reclaiming the land that the late Casimir left behind. It was strategic at the time and Casimir was very powerful in his own right, but it’s lost its purpose in today’s age. Our fight is with the easterly border, not the north one.” The minister that spoke, this time a rather large crocodile lying in his animalistic form, couldn’t keep the disdain out of his voice.

“What does the son of Lord Casimir think?” 

The room fell silent at the Dragon King’s booming voice. Suddenly, all eyes were on the two of them. Kaloyan looked afraid, but in that subtle way that only people who knew him well could see. Kaloyan was like that. Fear was weakness after all and the son of Lord Casimir couldn’t be weak.

Did Kaloyan resent being the son of Lord Casimir, Nikolay began to wonder. Humans were forbidden from speaking in the war room - a rule that Nikolay did not understand but respected nonetheless. 

So, he was simply left to think, something he was finding to be difficult. His mind wandered too much, like wondering if Kaloyan was ever allowed to be his own person, after his caretaker died.

Kaloyan cleared his throat. “It was an insult for humans to kill my father.” He took a small breath. “We cannot let them live down this insult.”

Nikolay couldn’t help his shock, even if he heard the nerves and ingenuine tone in his voice. It felt like a different person had possessed Kaloyan and made him say things that he would never say.

The room was silent in consideration. The Dragon King was the first to speak. “Tell me, Kaloyan, how do you want to avenge your father?”

Nikolay could hear the smile in the Dragon King’s voice. They were pleasing him. They were safe, as long as he was happy.

“I say that we hunt the one who killed him and burn his village.”

It was an impossible task. However, the ministers didn’t seem to think that it was.

“We will have our Seer look and try to identify who it was,” the Dragon King announced. “You’re making your father proud, Kaloyan. You’ll be a Lord before you know it.”

Perhaps it would’ve been true, had they stayed, that Kaloyan might’ve become a war lord. However, Nikolay knew, even in that moment, that Kaloyan didn’t have what it took to become one.

—

After that week they got to spend together in total starvation, without so much as a visit from someone, Dimitar ripped it all away.

“I think you’ve had enough time together.”

He’d ordered his men to pull Kaloyan away from Nikolay. Kaloyan had fought and screamed but it had only earned him more pain once he got back to his cell.

It was the last time that Kaloyan really saw Nikolay. Anyone, really. The men gave food through a hole in the door. Kaloyan didn’t get to see their faces. The only face he saw was Dimitar’s.

Hell was too kind a word. His world was only agony. Lonely, hungry, cold agony. Every time Nikolay hurt, he was filled with a new sense of helplessness. He was strong. He was the son of Lord Casimir. He should’ve been there to protect Nikolay. Nikolay. Nikolay who was strong, stronger than Kaloyan was. 

Why did Kaloyan want to protect him so badly? All he had was legacy. His magic wasn’t strong. He had only an inkling of the power that a full blooded vampire would have. 

By all means, Kaloyan shouldn’t have existed. If he couldn’t protect Nikolay, if he couldn’t prove that he wasn’t like his father with his destruction magic, then what was he?

Kaloyan thought about that for many days. Dimitar must’ve known because he taunted Kaloyan relentlessly.

“You know, I’m having so much fun with that mage of yours. He still fights back.”

“You’re pathetic. Son of Lord Casimir and you don’t even have the strength to take me on? Pathetic.”

“All you do is rely on a legacy. Well, I’m not scared of a deadman.”

It stung more than Kaloyan could put into words.

However, that wasn’t the nail in the coffin. It was seeing the bloodied, bruised human that Dimitar brought into the room. At first, Kaloyan thought that it was Nikolay and tears formed in his eyes. To his guilty relief, it turned out to be a complete stranger.

Dimitar threw the human, who could hardly move, at Kaloyan. “Drain him.”

Kaloyan’s body was filled with pure ice. “What?”

“You heard me. Drain him.”

Kaloyan could hardly put words together. “I won’t. I can’t. I don’t drink from humans. I-I.”

“Stop your whining.” Dimitar grabbed Kaloyan’s hair and tugged him up, forcing Kaloyan to look at him. “Drain him or I will dismember him limb by limb in front of you and make you listen to every one of his screams.”

Kaloyan’s eyes went wide. “You wouldn’t.”

“I absolutely would. Now drain him. It’ll be a less painful death, right? He’s going to die either way. You choose how he dies. Less pain or more pain. Now, make a decision.”

Kaloyan, eyes full of tears, looked down at the languid, half-dead human. He couldn’t let the human be dismembered. That was too cruel.

“I’m sorry,” Kaloyan whispered to the human. The human looked back up at him with such real, visceral fear in his eyes.  The human knew he was going to die and that Kaloyan was going to be the one to kill him.

Kaloyan leaned down and pulled the human’s neck to his mouth. Tears streaming down his face, he pierced the human’s neck and began to drink. The flinches and moans of pain weren’t lost on him. It was everything Kaloyan could do to not sob and dig his fangs in deeper. 

The human flailed in Kaloyan’s hands. Kaloyan wanted to tell him to stop moving, that it would be easier that way, but he couldn’t. His fangs were in the human’s neck. He was the one hurting the human. The human would never believe what Kaloyan said. So, the human struggled and cried, not wanting to die.

Eventually, the human fell limp. It took too long. And it was even longer before the breath left his chest. It was horrible, to feel the life drain out of the human, all the while he grew more alive - his eyes brighter, his skin darker, and his muscles stronger. He couldn’t kill humans. He could hardly squish a spider in his house. Even the cockroach had a purpose, right?

However, just as Kaloyan finished draining the human, the human began to dissolve, leaving behind a pile of hot sand.

With shaky hands, blood dripping down his lips, Kaloyan felt in the sand. What did I do? What the hell did I do? No. No. No. No.

Dimitar laughed at Kaloyan, who was sobbing, running his hands in the sand, muttering that same word over and over again.

After letting Kaloyan hold the sand to his face to cry, Dimitar finally spoke.

“He was one of my creations.”

“What?”

Kaloyan stopped moving. That human he’d been forced to drain was alive. Alive. Alive and born just to suffer for Dimitar’s sick pleasure. It filled Kaloyan with a horrible hopelessness. He knew that Dimitar was horrible, but not to that degree.

“And we’ll do that again, until you listen to me.”

The threat was too real. Immediately, Kaloyan began to spit words. “No. No. No! Please! Don’t make me. I’ll do anything. Anything at all. Just not again. It’s cruel. It’s horrible.”

Dimitar pulled Kaloyan’s head up by his chin, wiping the blood from his face gently. “Anything, you say?”

“Anything!”

“Then tell me that you love your father.”

Kaloyan didn’t hesitate. “I love him. He was a great vampire. He did so much good.”

Dimitar chuckled. “Tell me who owns you.”

“You!”

“Now, tell me that you hate Nikolay.”

Kaloyan hesitated, which earned him a backhand. He knew he needed to say it. Nikolay would understand. “I hate Nikolay,” Kaloyan choked out.

“I’m very pleased with you. Now, let’s go tell Nikolay that, hmm…?”

Kaloyan didn’t fight when Dimitar forced him to stand and walk out the door without chains. The collar had long since burned into his neck, leaving a deep ring in its wake. However, Dimitar never took that off. It would never come off. Kaloyan was going to be Dimitar’s forever. He would listen. He would do whatever Dimitar wanted. He just couldn’t face such awful torture again.

The look on Nikolay’s face was awful. He hated Kaloyan. Kaloyan could tell. He’d broken. He’d never be the same. He’d killed someone, even if that someone was just a creation of a twisted god. 

“Now Kaloyan, tell our friend what you said to me.”

Dimitar grabbed Kaloyan’s hair and chin, forcing him to look at Nikolay. Tears blurred Kaloyan’s vision completely. He couldn’t hesitate. If he did, he might be forced to do that again.

“I hate you.”

When Dimitar let go, Kaloyan fell to his knees, head in his hands, sobbing. Dimitar placed his foot on Kaloyan’s back possessively, but nothing mattered anymore. He was Dimitar’s. Dimitar could do what he pleased.

Kaloyan couldn’t even face Nikolay’s hatred.

He was pathetic.

But at least that pleased Dimitar.

===

tags: @whumpsday, @i-can-even-burn-salad, @whumpworld, @darkthingshappen, @pigeonwhumps, @rabass, @whither-wander-whump, @whumpshaped

[atimelesslullabyarchive]

Anonymous said:

I know what you are doing is for the best of Hyrule Princess. But do you really think sending Link back to the past is the best way? I mean, how can you relive your old life when everything you have experienced forever changed you?

“All life is change, no matter your age. He was a child in an adult’s body, and that is not fair. He was still the equivalent of a child, forced to maintain an adult’s form. Forever changed, possibly, but who was not during the dark times we all lived through? But everyone got the chance to experience those seven years naturally.”

Did she miss him? Constantly. But it wasn’t right, that he was still by definition a child, and she had truly grown into a full adult. What was just a temporary sleep for him, was seven long years for her. Years of struggle, and fear. Years she had to hide, years where only her attendant, and the Great Fairies knew where she was, until she could master the Triforce’s gift of transformation.

“Everyone deserves the chance to age naturally. He was sent to a timeline where the Evil King can no longer gain control of the country. It is a timeline where he does not have to be the hero. What he does with his time is his decision, but at least he will age naturally. He will no longer be a child in an adult’s body.”

Her fervent hope, was that he found happiness, somewhere, somehow. To grow past the horrors they both had observed would take time. To this day, the woman still had nightmares that woke her, as she could constantly feel the evil pulsing. Waiting for her to weaken, so that the seal could be broken, and spread out upon the world a second time.

“I stand by my decision. He deserved the chance to grow up. I would not be the least bit surprised if he resents me for what I did. All I can do now is hope he understands, and forgives me for my actions.”

[sarimax-the-dragon]

My Adventure through the Political Compass

CONTENT WARNING: racism, sexism (sort of), homophobia, transphobia, abuse, religious trauma (sort of)

I think people need to understand what it's like to come from a background like mine which, if things projected the same way, would've made me the most bigoted asshole on this god-forsaken planet. Thankfully, it took the effort of many leftists to finally convert me to their side...

Let's start from the beginning... I grew up in a Republican Mormon family, with Republican Mormon values. This basically means a lot of innocent restrictions such as no drinking, smoking, or taking drugs. Some less-than-innocent restrictions such as no caffeinated drinks like coffee, and no tea. and some really dumb restrictions that come with ALL Republican Christian religions.

I grew up thinking that homosexuality is bad, and that trans men were women and trans women were men. In addition to my religious bigotry, my dad was also selectively racist towards Mexicans and Asians. his bad acting really rubbed off on me, which made me just as bad, if not worse, than he is, due to me being a young little shit with no filter. I was THAT GUY who complained about illegal immigrants coming into our country... yeah, that bad.

Honestly, it took until my schoolmates talked to me about how bad I've become for me to realize just how bad of an influence my dad is. I already resented him at that point because he would constantly spank me whenever he got mad at me, and rarely did he ever showed me that he actually love me aside from times where he had to force it out due to public pressure.

My dad neglected to raise me at all, which put all of that pressure on my mom. She did the best she could, but due to this unstable dynamic, I've grown up to become dependent on others. it's been a slow process to break old habits and become independent, and I'm currently at an age where that's not nearly as easy as it should be.

Anyways, I slowly grew up to try to be as much unlike my dad as I could be. for the most part, that was successful, but it all came crumbling down when my parents divorced. I live with poor parents, so where I lived wasn't so much who I wanted to live with as much as it was who could afford to keep me, which, unfortunately, was my dad.

Now, my dad is a lot more devout than my mom, so I was forced to go to church every Sunday. I grew up hating it because it was boring, but I didn't have a choice, and I was still a believer due to the fear of hell... or "spirit prison" as Mormons would put it. I still was homophobic, probably more so than my dad, but at that age, I started understanding more about trans people, and since I wasn't paying attention to the transphobic parts of church, I didn't really bother being bigoted towards those people... at least... not yet...

2013 rolled around, and my mom finally got enough money to afford her own place. I immediately moved in with her since living with my dad was like living in hell. Living with my mom allowed me to finally have my own thoughts. All the remaining racism I had vanished, and my opinion on homosexuality softened up quite a bit...

And then... 2014 came around... and #GamerGate happened.

I think everyone on this site is unfortunately familiar with that hashtag. It started with good intentions before being hijacked by the alt-right, but let's explain how #gamergate effected me personally.

This hashtag movement was the one barrier that prevented me from entry into becoming a leftist. I was admittedly swayed by the fact that feminists wanted to ruin the game industry by scrutinizing everything I loved about video games. I also had a reinvigorated bias against trans people since they were main players for the SJW movement from back then. There were a lit of misandrists in that feminist movement, which only made my opinions of them worse and deepened my resolve towards the #GamerGate movement.

However, during the latter half of 2014, it became less about ethics in gaming journalism and more about hating on SJWs, which I didn't mind... until it was no longer about video games and just hating on feminism except for the kind that sided with us. once that happened, my interest in the movement almost died.

Then one day, I talked to a trans woman. I didn't know she was trans at first, and in fact, I wouldn't've been able to tell that she was until she said she was... and that completely melted my biases against them. She showed me a lot of evidence against #gamergate that showed it was always a bigoted movement... I didn't believe her at first, but the evidence was overwhelming.

I then Asked my "Fellow GamerGaters" about this evidence... and they completely attacked me, saying that I'm falling for SJW propaganda... and that's what ultimately discouraged me from following the movement anymore.

fast forward a few years, and after being away from the movement, I became a bit introspective. I eventually went back to how I was before the movement, if not a lot more tolerant towards the LGBTQ+ community. I considered myself a centrist at this point in my life.

The election happened, and I really didn't like either of the candidates, but I thought that by default Hillary Clinton was the better choice of the two main candidates since Trump was just worse in every way possible. We all know how that went, so there's no more to say about that.

Then, in 2017, I had my religious liberation. I finally became an atheist, because I finally figured out that I was being emotionally manipulated into believing a fairy tale. once that happened, a FLOODGATE of things happened to be that DRAMATICALLY shifted my views on everything I ever knew about. Now that I no longer believed in hell, I stopped feeling uncomfortable about sexual topics, and my views on the LGBTQ+ community was possitive instead of neutral...

And in fact... I found out that I was pansexual... yeah, turns out I was a closet pansexual all these years that I hid behind a wall of bigotry. I became so embarrassed by my shameful past, that I deleted ALL instances of my political rants in all of my social media from the #GamerGate era.

... And since then, I've gone from auth-right to lib-left... and I'm never going back. below is where I currently am on the political compass.

[crowpocrypha]

The Grave of the Fireflies is my favorite studio ghibli movie.

It might sound grim, but it's one I feel deeply.

When I was young I was a frail and ill little kid, I suffered from a horrible respitory illness that essentially gave me asthma for the majority of my childhood.

As those of you who have followed my posts know, my parents were absent most of my life. My mother walked out, so I'm not sure what the military had her do.

My father spent a lot of his time away from home, whether that be on deployment or training.

I grew up essentially raised by my older brother, who, despite seeming distant and angry much of the time, was only that way because he had to take care of me-- someone who could barely breathe for herself.

My brother held me away from the flame the best he could in our childhood, but, the fire does lick upwards.

I remember asking my brother a lot: "where's dad?" And him having to come up with some short answer with little elaboration.

I often say the only reason I didn't grow up to be vicious was because of my brother.

The Grave of the Fireflies felt like a hyperbolic metaphor of growing up in a family torn apart by the nature of warfare.

Sure, my mother wasn't dead, and sure, neither was my father-- but they were a missing part of my life.

I hold some resentment towards my mom, as any child would-- and secretly I'm resentful of my father.

The reality is that my father didn't have a choice like my mother had. I shouldn't hate him at all for something like that.

My father used to come home angry every night. Tired, and upset. My brother and I used to live in fear of him. We'd shulk off into each our rooms when he got home, and waited for the storm to pass. He was never home when we woke up.

September is a hard month in our home, living with PTSD sometimes is like this. My father locks himself away in his room for most of the month.

We've learned not to pry. We all know the story to leave it well enough alone.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I've never lived outside of the shadow of war. Sure, I didn't grow up a victim of a war torn country, but I grew up a victim of the aftermath.

Sure, I never had to run through the gunfire my mother's nightmares are plagued by-- worry to be torn apart by an IED like my father lives in fear of.

I know I talk a lot about my abusive caretakers and my brother's absence, but, when I was in middleschool I think I put it the best:

My brother was the only static I've ever had.

My beother was the only person that if I called I knew would be there, even if he acted curt and mean moments before, if I needed him, he would be there.

That's what tears me apart in Grave of the Fireflies, because Seita reminds me so deeply of what my brother was forced to be. Why the narrative hurts so badly the one time he didn't make it.

It's the "what if my brother wasn't there to pull me from my window sill?" Or the "what if my brother wasn't there to get my assailant off of me?"

That's the narrative that hurts. That's the narrative I understand and can't ignore.

It's why it's my favorite ghibli movie: because it's grim and dark, and I can understand.

It's a movie that, to me, hands me a horrifying what if scenario about a family just like mine.

That's what it's meant to do, and it does it immaculately.

[peakysanakin]

a bit about Elain's trauma and why it correlates with her rejecting her mating bond with Lucien in the future, a thread:

(WARNING: this post isn't about ships, except Elucien because Lucien is a key factor in Elain's trauma. )

Everyone deals with trauma in their own way and that's totally okay. Some are destructive, some shut people up and others want to not feel anything. Elain, just as Nesta, went into the Cauldron and those moments were horrific for her.

She is literally dragged and shoved into the Cauldron while she cries, struggles and kicks to escape the guards' grasps. The guards and the King keep laughing at her during the whole time.

Elain is used as an experiment for the Queens.

She is used as if she was a mere object.

Her body has been changed forever and she is practically naked, completely terrified and in shock from whatever she has gone through inside the Cauldron. (We know how terrifying and horrible it can be because of Nesta's experience.) Everyone is looking at her, some are even laughing.

Do you know how violating this could feel? To be left naked and vulnerable in front of people who have just terrorized you? How would you feel?

We don't know what she goes through inside the Cauldron, but it was probably very painful and terrifying. Then, she is thrown off it and she experiences this horrific scene, and her mating bond with Lucien snaps.

Another thing has been decided for her.

Not only has her body and life been changed forever without her consent, now her romantic relationship has been decided for her as well. And it's with a man who participated in the plan that made this horrific moment happen.

Lucien is an accomplice of that. He isn't a bad person, but he is CLEARLY an accomplice. (GO NESTA!!)

Elain is dealing with her trauma and she doesn't own Lucien anything. She suffered so much, she was broken and traumatized by what happened to her.

And Lucien and their mate bond are a BIG reminder of the day her body and life were changed against her own will.

We don't know much about her, but we have seen enough of her suffering and how traumatized she is in the books. Feyre always admired Elain's strength, because being kind and gentle in a world so dark takes balls, you know? Later on in the books, Elain is still kind and gentle but more reserved and quiet because she is dealing with her own shit.

Strength doesn't equal to physical force. A big example? Queen Elizabeth I of England was strong and she never fought in a battlefield, but she was intelligent, cunning and brought a Golden Age to her country. She made a place for herself in a patriarcal society and that's how strong she was.

Elain's strength differs from Nesta's, Mor's and Feyre's. She isn't an active fighter like them, but yet she had the guts to fight in the war and stabbed the King on the neck to protect Nesta because she loves her sister and would die for her. Look at this.

No one wanted her to fight, but she chose to. SHE CHOSE TO! This is important. She is scared in the battle camp and doesn't know how to fight or wield a sword, yet she trusts her friends and wants to fight alongside them. 

She might die in the battlefield, but at least she will fight fighting and not be a pawn.

She will enact revenge for what the King did to Nesta, to Feyre and to herself.

MOREOVER –– Another big trauma (aside from happened inside the Cauldron and the dramatic changes in her life), it will probably be center around her body. 

Her clothes, body and beauty are mentioned all the time. ALL THE TIME. Elain, who was a very proper and modest lady (and didn't want to talk about periods even with her sisters), was seen naked against her will by everyone and she probably felt violated.

Feyre mentions Elain's reaction when she sees her and Nesta wearing Illyrian fighting leathers. She mentions how Elain was offered something less scandalous and more proper. 

Imagine how someone so proper would feel after being used and seen all vulnerable and naked by so many people? To have been ogled against your will? To be seen as an “object” to see whether the Cauldron worked?

Nesta is a sexual assault survivor and she also suffered because of their youth, Feyre's sacrifice to provide for them and Elain suffering from the Cauldron incident. She dealt with her trauma in her own way, just as Elain deals with it in her own way. And that's okay!

In Elain's book, her choosing who she wants to be with and how she wants to live from now on will be important. She will turn down Lucien, as it is obvious from what I explained above and because of the following:  Feyre and Rhys comment on how being mates doesn't equal to being right for each other.

Sarah J. Maas said this as well.

She also said that a mating bond is something rare but that some people might be lucky and end up having two. But the main thing is: 

Elain will reject Lucien because they aren't right for each other and she will chose whomever she wants to because she loves that person. That's big and it will be key to the plot.

Elain might end up being lucky and while falling for another person, a new mating bond might develop. But at the end of the day, it will be her choice. 

Not the Cauldron's choice, not society's choice or anyone else. 

Hers and hers alone.

You think she is boring? Well, we will learn more about her and we will see her heal from her trauma. Her body and her choices have been violated, but she will heal and grow for that and gain ownership over herself once again. 

Rhys, Amren and Feyre believe there is more to her than just the kindness she shows. 

“Maybe she was never given the chance to be that way.” “You think I stifle her?” “Not you alone. [...] But I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d dissapoint you all. [...] With time and safety, perhaps we’ll see a different side of her emerge”

“You think Elain is boring?” “I think she’s kind, and I’ll take that kindness over nastiness every day. But I also think we haven’t yet seen all she has to offer.”

“Don’t forget that gardening often results in something pretty, but it involves getting one’s hands dirty along the way.”

“You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

“Including Elain, who is more than capable of defending herself against the darkness of the Trove, if she chooses to. Don’t underestimate her.”

Being a seer gives you many powers, but it would take me too much time so I recommend you to read this LONG AND AMAZING list of powers a seer might have posted by @miru5llec​ and you will be shocked and hyped.

If you like mythology and fantasy literature, you know seers are feared and respected. Kings have killed for having a seer in their ranks. They can reach levels of divine status and their ability as a seer gives them many more powers than those I have mentioned before.

Elain might not be physically powerful like Nesta or Feyre, but being a seer makes her more powerful than both of them but IN ANOTHER WAY. Look at the list above (linked) if you don't believe me. 

Her being on the Night Court makes Feysand's court the most powerful in Prythian.

That's why Elain is not boring and her trauma is valid. There is much more to her than what little we have seen. SJM has said so. Rhys, Feyre, Amren, everyone has said so in the books. We will learn about her, see her heal and chose who to love in her book.

“Why?” Elain demanded. “Shall I tend to my little garden forever?” When Nesta flinched, Elain said, “You can’t have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater.”

“But Elain said, “I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

We will see her develop her powers and learn how to use them. She is possibly the key to killing Koschei (the big bad villain) because she might have visions of where his heart is hidden in that fucking box and guide the IC to find it.

Furthermore, stop saying “I want Elucien to happen so Lucien can be happy.” or “Azriel deserves better than Elain because she likes to garden and is mated to Lucien.”

Elain doesn’t belong to Lucien.

Elain can garden, bake and walk around on her hands while singing La Macarena and that doesn’t make her any less strong than Feyre, Mor, Nesta or any other female character.

(Also, in this stupid ship war I have seen people pointing out how she wouldn't be able to give Azriel children because her body isn't Illyrian. This is disgusting. You are basically saying that all her worth lies in whether she can give someone children or not.

Do I remind you adoption exists? Rhys, Cassian and Azriel are brothers by choice, not by blood and they are BROTHERS. You can adopt and be a mother. And you can chose to not have children and that would be okay too. A woman's worth isn't in her uterus.

And that’s it. 

(I posted this thread on Twitter as well, so if you liked it you can go there and RT it or hit a like.)

[og post]

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (May 22/2021) - Pursuit of Peace

Quackity goes searching for new recruits to join him in Las Nevadas.

Foolish wonders if his way of life is really working towards peace, or if he needs a change.

Ranboo builds up the stronghold room for his Enderwalk experiments.

---

VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Quackity

Foolish

Ranboo

---

---

LAS NEVADAS: EPISODE THREE

---

Quackity rides a white horse and overlooks the construction site where the plans for Las Nevadas have been laid out. There is a montage that shows Quackity in New L’manburg, then hunting down Techno in the Final Control Room. 

Techno strikes him down and Quackity wakes up at Spawn with a bloody scar over one eye.

There is a rapid timelapse showing the buildings of Las Nevadas getting built one by one. Slot machine sound effects play in the background, then Quackity’s voice:

“Let’s start this hit list. Who’s on the hit list? Dream and Technoblade. If we go after Dream first, we’ll have government, and then Techno will go after us. So let’s just -- let’s just attack the problem from the goddamn root.”

Another rapid-cut montage of Quackity walking down the path to the prison, then a full view of Pandora’s Vault...

---

- Quackity is in the cell with Dream, telling him he’ll show him which weapon he’ll use to torture him this time. He puts an axe up on the wall. While Quackity is talking, Dream suddenly runs up to try and take the axe. Quackity hits him back and grabs it

- Dream cowers in the corner of the cell, pleading, while Quackity shouts at him

Quackity: “You do that again, and it’s over for you. Don’t fucking ever do that again. You understand?”

Dream: “Yes.”

Quackity: “Don’t ever reach for any of my fucking weapons ever again. Okay?”

Dream: “Yes, sir.”

- Quackity says these visits have gotten tiresome, and he’s busy. The Netherite barrier wall is put up between them and the lava. Dream tells him he doesn’t have to visit anymore.

Quackity: “No, I do, I do. This is what you don’t understand, Dream. This is what you don’t understand, okay? I do, I do have to come, every single day, so I can remind you, every bad shit you’ve ever done to me, to any other person on the server -- I have to come every day to remind you, otherwise I think you’ll end up forgetting, and I don’t think I want you to forget.”

Dream: “Forget -- I won’t forget -- I promise you I won’t forget!”

- Quackity asks him when was the last time he saw Technoblade. Dream says it was a little bit before he was put in the prison.

- Quackity asks what their relationship is like, and Dream describes Techno as one of his only allies. Quackity throws Dream a book and quill and tells him to get writing: a note to Technoblade to get him to visit the prison

- If he writes the note and doesn’t ask any questions, then he’ll give Dream a week’s break from the torture. Dream thinks he’s lying and refuses to write the note

- Dream suggests Sapnap instead and Quackity snaps. 

Quackity: “If you don’t do that shit, then we’re gonna have issues, alright? You know what? I’m kinda sick and tired of these fucking visits now that I think about it. I’m actually sick and tired! I don’t like ‘em anymore! They’re boring, they really don’t serve any much more purpose, I don’t like ‘em anymore Dream. So this is what we’re gonna do. You either write that goddamn note, or I will kill you. I am not joking, I will fucking kill you, I don’t care anymore, I don’t --”

“What is it, the book? Are you threatening me with the fucking revival book, Dream? Guess what, Dream? I don’t CARE anymore about the book! I don’t give a crap about the fucking book anymore! You understand me? I don’t give a shit! I’ve lost interest in that thing! At this point, the only reason I come and torture you so much, every single day, is merely as a reminder, because at the end of the day, no matter how many times I fucking torture you, that will never amount the amount of fucking evil you’ve done to this entire server and everyone in it--”

Dream: “It’s -- it’s ‘cause you LIKE IT! You LIKE torturing me!”

Quackity: “You know what? You know what? I might, I might. I don’t give a shit, I don’t care what it is, what the reason is, if you don’t write that goddamn note -- I’m going to kill you, Dream. I am going to kill you.”

- Dream says Sam wouldn’t let Quackity kill him, but Quackity points out that Sam is beyond the lava wall, and he can deal with Sam later if need be. Dream shouts that he wouldn’t.

- Quackity starts swinging the axe around, then starts stabbing Dream while Dream begs for him to stop. Dream agrees to write it. 

Quackity tells him what to write: 

“Dear Technoblade...”

-

Chapter One.

-

There’s a village at night. It’s raining. 

Easy job.

Foolish is there.

No innocents.

Big reward.

Easy money.

He draws his bow.

Peaceful heist.

He shoots the arrow into the village.

The village is ablaze and full of lava, people are screaming. Foolish rides off on a horse.

-

THE PURSUIT OF PEACE

-

- A bell rings. It’s Las Nevadas, and Quackity coughs, eating, while Sam comes through the door and sits down in front of him. Quackity asks where Sam found the villager running the restaurant. Sam says he just showed up, and Quackity scolds him for hiring someone random

- Quackity hands him a book with potential roles for candidates, people to join Las Nevadas. Sam says he thought he was going to hire George, Sapnap and Karl. They both pause before Sam says he was kidding

- Quackity asks Sam to tell him about Foolish. Sam has read that Foolish isn’t a good person. Quackity scoffs, but Sam says the two of them haven’t done anything inherently bad, and everything they do is just for justice

Quackity: (laughing) “Yeah, ‘justice.’”

- Foolish used to kill a lot of people. A job gone wrong written about in old history texts. Quackity still thinks he’d be a great option. 

- In the future, who’s going to protect them? Sam knows what happened with Quackity and Techno, and they need some force in their team. Sam is still skeptical

---

- Quackity greets Foolish at the summer home entrance, asking how he’s holding up after the Banquet, the places he’s affiliated with

- Foolish is done with contract work for Kinoko Kingdom. Quackity asks him if he’d like to join Las Nevadas. Foolish is honored, but he’s happy at his summer home. As Quackity presses him on it, Foolish keeps insisting

Quackity: “I know who you are, if that makes a little more sense...I’ve done my research, Foolish, I have my connections. I know what type of person you are, if you get what I mean...”

- Foolish tells him this peaceful life has worked

Foolish: “I believed peace could be found through the sword, you know? Fighting. That doesn’t work, okay. That just leads to fear, to power, to hatred, resentment, all of that, okay, it’s a mess. The only thing I did was accelerate war, okay? That doesn’t work. So I pushed back, I ran from it all, and this is good! I’m in a much happier place!”

- Quackity then says he wants to buy Foolish’s summer home from him...for one diamond. Foolish is taken aback as Quackity explains that for all the work Foolish has put into this, it’s just a build. 

No one stays here, they just admire and leave it. It is an empty shell that’s beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, it’s decaying, something that will disappear in time with no one to remember it...much like Foolish himself.

Quackity: “On the inside, everybody knows you’re...just a builder. And I was hoping, at some point, you would realize this...after I let you die at the Red Banquet.”

- Foolish is shocked. Quackity was behind those walls and he could have saved Foolish, but instead he watched him die. Foolish draws his trident, and Quackity asks if he would really take a life

Quackity: “I did it for you. I let you die because I wanted a better version of you.”

- He wanted Foolish to realize that this life as a builder would get him hurt, and he needs to go back to his old ways: feared, not a nobody

Foolish: “You threw away my life for some kind of fucking sales pitch!”

“Power...power...damn you, Qua -- what makes you think you’re any better, huh?! How’s that worked out for anyone else that’s been here? Dream? Wilbur? Schlatt? How’d that go, huh? What makes you any better, different, than them?”

- Quackity doesn’t need a sales pitch, his country is already big and other people would take the offer. 

The reason he came to Foolish is because Quackity sees himself in Foolish: someone who once saw peace and betterment of people as the way to live. It brought him nothing but suffering, and Foolish has potential

The offer still stands.

-

Chapter Two.

-

An old-fashioned documentary plays about: the Slime! 

Slimes are morphing elements that can morph into just about anything, even blocks. Is Dwane “The Rock” Johnson slime?

---

- Quackity glides down onto the roof of the restaurant in a ninja outfit and elytra, setting up redstone and TNT in the floor. There’s a bit of slime on the wall and he’s disgusted, running out. This is why he wants to kill the owner of this place

- He mines into the wall only for Charlie Slimecicle to pop out. Quackity knocks him out 

- When Charlie wakes up, he’s stuck in a hole and Quackity is interrogating him, asking who he is. Charlie says he is a definitely “goobless guy” who has many bones.

Charle: “Dap me up!”

- As Charlie describes what happened, it becomes clear that Charlie has overheard all sorts of passing conversations and knows a lot. He knows too much, and Quackity has to kill him

- Quackity asks what else he knows. Charlie gets distracted by the snow, which Quackity teaches him is called “coke”

- Charlie saw Foolish, the purple guy, he knows of a green guy, a red-shirt blond guy, a dead-but-not-anymore-guy. Quackity asks about the dead guy, who Charlie describes as “sooty”

- Quackity realizes that Charlie is an accidental spy and tells Charlie this is just a friendly greeting, he can give Charlie a home. He coughs again and tells Charlie that a spy is a friend, and Charlie will be his spy as the two walk off together

-

Chapter Three.

-

---

ONE WEEK BEFORE THE RED BANQUET

---

A purple-tinged POV of a person walking down the path through the Community House as Quackity and Sam talk in the background.

It’s been so long, he might be dead in the woods somewhere, but Quackity insists that Purpled is perfect for their country. Sam doesn’t think he would ever join, doesn’t think he would ever affiliate with anyone.

What about a job? 

The UFO is destroyed.

If Quackity offers him a one-time job, Purpled would take it. Once he has Purpled’s attention, Quackity can do something to reel him in to join the country.

Rowing to the skull base...

Sam says Purpled’s UFO is still there, but abandoned. He moved out along time ago. Quackity has a plan...

---

- Quackity and Sam are talking by Eret’s Museum. Sam is in charge of keeping an eye out for Purpled. Sam protests -- he’s the Warden and Quackity is breaking and entering, and he’s not supposed to break the law. 

- Quackity has a stack of TNT. He climbs up the UFO and starts placing TNT everywhere inside

- Purpled logs on right in front of him and immediately starts attacking, but stops when Quackity threatens to light the TNT, explaining that this was the best way to get in contact with him

- Quackity tells him about how messed up the server is, that the Egg is still an issue, and he needs Purpled’s help. 

- Purpled is in the middle of a mercenary job already, but Quackity will pay Purpled well. He has a new project getting him wealth, a prosperous country. To prove it, Quackity takes him there...

---

The Red Banquet happens. A fight breaks out, and they get the Eggpire to retreat.

---

- Quackity stands on top of the flower shop. He meets Purpled, dressed in his suit, and thanks him for his help with the Egg

- Purpled stops him to ask for his money. Quackity takes him up to the roof and shows him to a chest with the money in it. Purpled approves

- Quackity has something else for Purpled: he goes downstairs and flicks a lever, and Purpled’s UFO explodes

Quackity: “Purpled, your legacy is gone, and I’ve taken it from you. That’s the last piece of evidence that you were ever here, Purpled. That’s it. And you die a long with it. You die along with it -- YOU DIE ALONG WITH IT, PURPLED!”

- Purpled runs at Quackity, attacking him. Quackity stops him, saying he did it for him. Purpled has two choices: he can take Quackity’s life and run away with the money, and he disappears forever. Or, he could join Quackity.

- Quackity tells Purpled he has potential, why waste it away? If Purpled joins him, he can buy a whole fleet of UFOs to replace the one

- Quackity promises Purpled a plot of land in Las Nevadas

Quackity: “Take the gamble, Purpled...take the gamble, and you can change everything.”

- Silently, Purpled turns and walks away

-

Chapter Four.

-

- Fundy walks to his new house in the forest and goes to sleep. When he wakes up, he opens the door to find it’s a mesa biome. He’s upset and goes back inside, reassuring himself. When he opens the door again, he’s met with Quackity standing there

- Quackity invites him to a walk, saying Fundy was a hard person to find, but he found him

- Fundy asks what this place is, but Quackity says he should know it better than anyone. As they approach, the mesa is populated by bits and pieces of L’manburg. The wooden stilts of New L’manburg, fragments of the black walls, the Camarvan. Quackity reminisces with him

- Fundy isn’t sure that the drug equipment is necessarily “good memories,” but Quackity tells him no, everything is good memories

- As Quackity leads him towards an oversized, deteriorated version of Eret’s tower, he reminds Fundy of how L’manburg was blown up

- Quackity steps into the shadows

Quackity: “You know what, Fundy? Those memories don’t matter. None of that matters, Fundy. All these structures, all these things we built together...it’s here now, but it’s really gone, and none of it matters, nor will it ever matter...Fundy, if you think about it...you don’t matter. Along with all these structures and everything in ‘em, you’re gonna fade away just like it.”

- If Fundy doesn’t change things, he won’t matter, but Quackity has plans and he doesn’t have to fade away if he just joins Quackity

- Quackity gives him ten seconds to decide. He starts counting down...

- Fundy runs towards him into the darkness as Quackity reaches one and he wakes up suddenly in his bed

- He goes to his door and opens it. Outside is the regular spruce forest, and Quackity is there to greet him.

---

It’s the day Wilbur got a tour from Tommy. Wilbur walks over to his resurrection shrine and finds the “PROJECT NEVADAS” book, reading it.

---

Las Nevadas. Wilbur, revived, comes walking down the road. 

He comes face to face with Quackity.

---

- Foolish stands on top of his temple, wondering...was Quackity right? Is he wasting his time here, accomplishing nothing? He isn’t really doing anything to work towards peace

- He stands in the beacon light. Can Quackity do better than everyone else that’s tried before him? Quackity wasn’t all wrong in what he said

- At the Banquet, when he did try to help, he wasn’t strong enough. He can’t even control his own area -- people just walk in and he can’t stop them. Does he need to try something else?

- Maybe there’s a balance between both ends of the spectrum. It wouldn’t hurt to go look, try something different

- He starts making the journey through the Nether, then past Spawn until he reaches Las Nevadas. Just to visit and look around

- Can he really trust someone who let him die?

- Foolish spots Quackity across the road and goes to speak with him. The casino is still going through some repairs, as they found some flaws with the “math” and want to make sure everything is fair

- Foolish asks what Quackity wants from him. Quackity tells him it’s up to him what he wants to do, and it wouldn’t be fair of Quackity to tell Foolish that until Foolish accepts the invitation

- Quackity tours Foolish around the place, showing off the various buildings, like a restaurant and an area for weddings. Quackity sleeps in the Needle. There’s also a strip club also undergoing repairs and a massive Eiffel Tower

- They swim in the pool and Quackity asks Foolish to tell him a bit more about himself. Foolish says he worked for Kinoko Kingdom and Snowchester, and Quackity wants him to elaborate a bit on Kinoko

- Quackity tells Foolish that Las Nevadas is “its own, independent nation” and that you can’t depend on anyone. Quackity wants to depend on only himself. 

- Foolish asks about the people who might not like that it’s a nation. Quackity says he just doesn’t have a plan and he’ll deal with it when the time comes

- Quackity tells Foolish he’s welcome to bring others. Foolish notes that Quackity said he doesn’t like to “dwell,” and by coming here maybe Foolish can stop dwelling on the past as well

- Quackity tells Foolish that Foolish chooses who he wants to be. The last thing he wants with Foolish is bad blood

Quackity: “I take care of those who take care of me...why do you think I have no one around?”

- Foolish tells him he’ll have an answer tomorrow. Quackity gives him temporary tokens for the casino and says goodbye to go and sleep. Foolish thinks to himself in Las Nevadas

- That’s when Foolish spots Fundy on the road and the stream abruptly ends

- Ranboo is in his basement. He wants to move the lab equipment to the table area

- He has an experiment log book that he won’t show chat

- Ranboo reads the letter Foolish left for him about the littering at his summer home

- He has a plan for what experiments he wants to do. He’s changed his opinion on the Enderwalk, as it allows him to hear chat in the first place. He doesn’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing

- Ranboo reaches the stronghold portal room and starts lining the walls with iron blocks. He thinks that after today, he might be able to remember everything

- He creates a glass water tank in the corner and some brewing stands, as well as a lever-activated dispenser with arrows

- Ranboo hit a wall with the experiments and he wonders if this strange table might be the key to breaking through

- He realized something frightening:

Ranboo: “The Enderwalk isn’t a different version of me, it’s not a different me, it’s still...me. But, from what I gathered...it’s me with...all of my memories. Every. Single. One. And I realized that...so...I mean, who knows what could’ve happened? There could’ve been an entire other story that I’m not aware of.”

- Ranboo wonders if he wants to keep living in blissful ignorance or know everything that’s happened

- He opens the log: 

---

[In Ender]

Purpose of experimentation:

To understand

To learn

To remember

---

To remember is one of the purposes. There are 43 pages, and one of them had the solution.

If it gets rid of it completely, he could lose all of what he didn’t know from before. It could either be good or unknown.

- He tells chat he tricked them. They weren’t just random experiments -- he was going to solve it, and he thought he needed chat with him. 

He didn’t need a splash potion. He would use the arrow and go into the water tank, and that would be the solution.

- Ranboo goes back and blocks up the hall, deciding to only use it as a last resort if something happens.

Only if something happens.

He “welp” claps to end stream.

[oneisallallisone]

All I Know, All I Know Greedling x Reader fic Chapter 1

In a land ruled by alchemy, there are some who would call you a sorcerer. You intend to understand what this means. Along your journey you end up getting mixed up with two strange brothers, a military conspiracy, a potentially world-ending event, and the avarice of something more than human.

I wanted to see more Greedling x reader stories in the tag. This one’s going to be a SLOW burn, but we’ll get there. I have plans. 

Read on AO3

_______________________________________________________________________

All I Know, All I Know

Chapter 1: Koldun

There are ancient legends: tales that tell of a city disappearing within a single night, stones that hold the power of god, of immortality itself, just to name a few. Myths such as these have been passed down through generations by word of mouth, pen to paper, and are woven into the fabric of everything that fascinates humankind. 

There is no name for the legend that you are, however. 

Alchemy is the science of understanding, reconstructing, and deconstructing matter. Alkahestry is the art of reading the Dragon’s Pulse, of sensing the flow of energy within yourself and the world around you, and then manipulating it. Both rely on a give and a take. A desire, an exchange, and a result. But you, with your will and your breath and the force that plays at your fingertips, are something else entirely. 

No, there is no name in Amestris for you. But there is an ancient Drachman word for what you might be. A word so old and feared that it is uttered in barely a whisper. “Koldun,” they call you. “Sorcerer.” It is the only word that seems to fit what you are, and the way it is spoken is just as cold as the air that bites your ears and the tip of your nose. Drachman winters are harsh. The resentment of Drachman people who don’t understand your nature is harsher.

But enough about the cold. Now you found yourself in the warmer weather of the south, regretting the bearskin cloak you have draped around your shoulders. It might not be fit for a sunny day in Central City, but its weight provides a calming sense of familiarity. A small piece of home that was actually yours to keep. 

The journey to Amestris hadn’t been hard, but it had been long. The mountain pass was no longer safe to use, as both Drachman and Amestrian soldiers were posted nearby at all hours of the day. The peace was holding out, for now, although it seemed like things could take a turn for the worse at any moment. So instead of taking the mountain pass, you traveled the road through the forest with a group of merchants who were on their way to Aerugo. They needed to pass through Amestris first. You’d parted ways with them in Central, and they wished you luck despite not knowing the full details of your mission.

How could you have told them, though? They would have left you for dead with nothing but the snow as a blanket for your final rest had you told them what you were. Koldun. The word still didn’t feel right in your mind, but it was the only lead you had to cling to.

So there you were, walking through the streets of Central in your too-hot bearskin cloak and worn leather boots, trying to find the greatest wellspring of information the West had to offer in order to gain some insight into the nature of your existence.

Only when you got to the First Branch of the National Central Library, you found a pile of rubble instead.

“What?” you gasped, barely audible. “No, no!”

You ran up what was left of the charred stairs and into the wreckage. 

All around you were mountains of debris and ash. Wooden shelves reduced to nothing, charred husks of books no longer readable and scattered about. You stumbled around every turn, through every crumbling passage that looked once like it might have been a hallway, searching the skeleton of each room for anything that might look like a single page intact, but there was nothing. It was a ruin. You sank to your knees. 

“Dammit!”

An involuntary surge of your power shook the room with your cry—violet waves that knocked loose a few pieces of stone that had not yet fallen. You buried your head in your hands and willed yourself not to sob. There had to be another place to find answers about your abilities. There had to be. You couldn’t have come all this way for nothing. 

You were muttering this softly to yourself when another voice interrupted you. 

“Um, hello?” 

You turned sharply to an unexpected sight. A boy with blonde hair and a long red jacket, and…a massive armored fellow? The voice from before, coming from the blonde boy, spoke again. “Are you alright?” 

You quickly rubbed your dampening eyes. “Yes. Yes, I’m just fine.” 

“We heard a crash,” the armored fellow said in a voice that sounded far more childish than you expected. “Are you sure you’re not injured?”

“Yeah, yeah I was just…throwing some things around. I’m fine. Just frustrated.” 

“Did you happen to see who did this?” the blonde boy asked.

You shook your head. “No.” 

He narrowed his eyes a little then. “How do we know you didn’t do this?” 

“What?” you hissed. “Look, when I got here the place was already a wreck. I didn’t see who or what did this. I swear.” 

For a moment it looked as if the boy was going to continue interrogating you, but then his eyes softened. He dropped his shoulders. “Alright, Al.” He turned to the suit of armor. “I guess we’re going to have to figure something else out.” 

There was a clanking as the suit of armor, Al, hung his head. “I guess so.” 

“Wait,” you said just as the boys were turning to leave. “Do you know if there’s anywhere else in the city that would store knowledge similar to what was in this branch?” 

The blonde boy crossed his arms. “What kind of information are you looking for?” 

You hesitated for a moment. How were you supposed to explain your predicament to these strangers? “Well…I’m looking for any sort of historical records or myths of people with beyond-human abilities.” 

“So you mean like alchemists?”

“Honestly, not quite,” you said hesitantly. “But that wouldn’t be a bad place to start.”  

The blonde boy huffed. “Well believe me, when it comes to people with ‘beyond-human abilities,’ alchemists are the only thing you’re going to find. Alchemy isn’t anything supernatural, but it’s the closest thing humans will ever have to augmented abilities.” 

“You sound very sure of yourself.” 

“Yup. Anything else is just made up.” 

The corners of your mouth twitched. Was it pride? Was it spite? The only thing you knew is that you wanted to wipe this guy’s smug smirk right off his face, and you could already feel the power surging to your fingertips. 

You hadn’t even called upon it. It knew you. 

Raising your hand, you allowed your energy to manifest at your fingertips. Small flickers of purple danced across your skin as you curled and flexed your fingers. It was like passing a coin between your knuckles. 

The blonde boy’s mouth flew open, first in shock, then as if he was going to say something, and then settled into shock again. The armored fellow next to him startled. 

“Brother…” the metallic voice rang. 

“How…how are you doing that?” the blonde asked you. 

“They didn’t perform a transmutation or anything!” the armored boy said, partially to his brother but mostly to himself, it seemed.  

“I’ve never seen alchemy like that,” the blonde started, “Not even Teacher’s is like that. Seriously, how are you doing that?” 

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” you responded.

“What?” 

You pointed at the suit of armor. “What’s his story? I haven’t been in this country for long, but I know that citizens casually going around in full armor isn’t the standard.” 

The metal boy shifted uncomfortably. “Oh, I, well…uh…” 

A resolute look fell onto the blonde boy’s face. He placed a hand on the armored torso of his companion. “Al, it’s okay. We can think of this as just another equivalent exchange, information for information. And besides,” he lowered his voice, “Whatever their power is, it’s not something we’ve seen before. We’d be idiots not to learn more about it. Maybe they can help us.” 

You raised an eyebrow, but neither of the boys saw it. 

The armored fellow raised his head to catch your gaze again. “Please just don’t freak out.” He brought his hands up to his helmet and pulled. There was nothing underneath. 

At first you thought that the boy inside the armor must have been too short to stand within it. But then you took a few steps closer and realized there was no boy in the armor at all.

“Oh,” you said. “Well that’s not something you see every day.” 

“And neither are you,” the blonde said. “We told you ours, now you tell us yours.” 

You frowned. “Unfortunately there’s not much to tell. It’s why I came here, actually. I’m trying to learn more about the nature of my abilities, because they are definitely not…what you call alchemy.” 

“Well, where do you come from?” he asked. “Maybe it has a different name in your country?” 

You shook your head. “Alchemy exists in my country. It is something that is taught. I, however, was not taught any of this.” You lowered your gaze to the floor, preparing to say the words that you had only said to so few. “I am from Drachma. The only word they have for me is Koldun. It translates to sorcerer.” 

[november-rising]

What are your thoughts on Sam being Captain America in FatWS?

This is a great question!

As a Black female in the United States, Sam Wilson, personally, has been someone I wanted to become a main character and ultimate hero in his own right; yet I allowed the precedent of Black male sidekicks to dampen my expectations. It’s what I’ve grown up with and became accustomed to seeing in TV and movies.

Please note that my focus, for now, is mainly MCU. Sam being Captain America is healing. Throughout CAatWS/FatWS, watching as the reality of what it means to be Black in the US, to function and attempt to belong in the least agitating way for the rest of society, spoke to a piece of my soul that I can’t always express. Watching Sam struggle to not only wrestle with feeling unworthy but to acknowledge that people (ordinary citizens) will want him dead because of the color of his skin - well, that was fear. Fear dictated what Sam thought he could be, initially.

As we see in Episode One, Sam commands his own missions, utilizes his talents as he sees fit while subconsciously mentoring another person of color, that was the first glimpse in the series that Sam was a leader without being overbearing. Sam could recognize the talents of those around him, encourage their strengths, and foster hope, pride, and progress in those around him.

Sam Wilson is a subtle force that no one can fully reckon with. Sam is not just calm. He is considerate, contemplative and reflective. He must be analytical because of the world around him. These external factors include so many social rules and constructs, nonverbal cues, prejudice, racism, stereotypes…the list goes on and on. Can you imagine the drain and strain of catering to these factors first before your own? In some respects, Sam’s ability to maneuver in this world with all those impediments ahead of him is award winning! With grace, empathy, aforethought, and appreciation, Sam Wilson is an example right here and now.

As a Black woman I can only speak to my experience as well as the observations made of my other family members (female and male). To express anything other than humble gratitude is considered a threat. To express anything other than socially sanctioned sass or a sense of wisdom through a preconceived notion of heritage and expectancy is a threat.

As we saw in Episode Two, after learning that yet again the American government has betrayed, tortured, experimented, and mutilated more Black and African men, Sam is hurt and further pressed into fear of what could be done to him. That primary emotion was easily transformed into anger, as it should. He’s angry that yet again those around him failed his people, failed him. This time it’s much, much, much closer to home. He asks:

“Why didn’t you tell me about Isaiah? How could nobody bring him up? […] Steve didn’t know about him?”

Sam put his neck out with Steve. Sam put his neck out for Steve to believe in Bucky. I speculate that, to Sam, for Bucky to withhold Isaiah from him and the public and Black people it was a “Here we go again” moment. Yet again a White person is creating a history that wipes out Black History. He felt betrayed which further instills that you can’t trust those in authority and, in turn, those who are privileged. Yes, that means White people. And then, for him to express what he is experiencing (pain, betrayal, mistrust, fear, anger, sadness, etc), what happens? Oh! Right! The police show up!

(Sidebar: Isn’t it interesting that Isaiah Bradley, the one person who was able to damage the Winter Soldier, was kept under lock and key? This could be an example of Hydra’s insidious influence already infiltrating the US government.)

Sam was hit with so much externally all the while processing his own internal battle. That alone is enough for any person to do the proverbial wiping of their hands and walking away from a situation. But not Sam. Sam fundamentally knows that the world can do better and can be better than it is right now. It’s why he doesn’t walk away from Bucky. It’s why he doesn’t back down from John Walker who could take up the mantle of Captain America and deal with the bulls***. Sam could have been done with it all.

But he wasn’t. I don’t think he could have. He has always moved towards change. Sam recognizes that what he stands for is much bigger than himself. He understood this when he had to play the Smiling Tiger. Black men can be placed in any Black man role because, you know, us Black folks all look the same. Instead of becoming insolent or as my mother would say “snippy-sassy” (bitter and resentful), he rolled with the punches. He can differentiate himself in a way that ensures he is acting rationally and thoughtfully. I mean, he checked in with Bucky after he had to play the Winter Soldier again. Of course he did! Sam appreciates his team. Sam sees those around him, doing what he can to ensure their safety in any way that is needed.

That brings me to my favorite part about MCU Sam. He’s a counselor. I, too, am a counselor so I’m biased when it comes to this aspect of Sam. We saw this in Episode Four when he went to talk to Karli. He didn’t try to talk over her, convince her or any other tactic that someone else *coughJohnWalkercough* could have easily employed. He listened. He found common ground. Sam empathized, normalized, and validated her. That’s not to say he agreed with her 100%. But Sam did create space for her to be calmer, to talk, to think out loud to someone other than the Flag Smashers. Sam is a phenomenal person in his ability to make others feel safe and heard.

Another breathtaking quality about Sam that I admire is his unwavering trust in himself. He knows who he is, why he came to be, and how he can continue. His hope it what internally guides him. Because he’s so sure of his Self, Sam can remain open, curious. It’s why he returned to Isaiah in Episode Five. Sam desires to hear all sides, particularly the individual, personal experience is commendable. He doesn’t allow one thing or person to dictate his actions. Sam questions and evaluates while never wavering from his values.

My number one favorite therapeutic activity I do with my clients is the Values Cards. I won’t go into too much details about the execution of the activity. Just know that by the end, my client will have chosen their top ten values, then top five from those ten, and then their top three values. The values that jumps out to me concerning Sam include Justice, Connection, Compassion, Growth, Honesty, Commitment, Respect, Community, and Courage. These were all displayed in Episode Six and throughout the series.

If those values do not scream Sam Wilson, then I truly have no clue who I’ve been watching over the last seven years.

Sam Wilson has proven that, despite all the constraints put on him as a Black man in the United States, he is worthy. He has shown that Black men can be and are worthy of so much more than this country – this world – gives them. Sam is an icon, a symbol for change.

I shed tears knowing that Sam Wilson is Captain America. He is my Captain America. Until this show, I didn’t know how important Sam Wilson was to me.

Thank you @frostbite883! This was my first ask ever!

[reinerispretty]

rotations. (zuko x f!reader) pt 25

hellO!! thank you so much for reading :) sadly we’re nearing the end, but it is okay!!

pt1

pt24

pt26

He put two scrolls into her hands. When she unraveled the first one, it was a painting of the two of them as children. They couldn’t have been older than twelve and eleven. Zuko’s arms were wrapped around her shoulders, their faces squished together as they smiled. She remembered when this photo was painted. It had been at one of their summers at Ember Island. Zuko had never been a fan of family photos, but (Y/N) had been able to convince him to get one painted with her. She had forgotten all about it. 

The messenger hawk arrived late in the day, after (Y/N) and Zuko had finished dinner. They lay on the chaise in Zuko’s room that overlooked the balcony. His head rested in her lap as she ran her fingers through his black hair. It had been a long day, just like every other day for the two of them, and (Y/N) felt her eyes becoming heavy. She tried her best to stifle a yawn. 

“You should sleep here tonight,” Zuko said quietly, turning over to make himself more comfortable. (Y/N) chuckled. 

“In your dreams.” 

“You’re right, almost every night.” He gave her a big smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. (Y/N) punched him gently. 

“I’ve seen you sleep in a sleeping bag. You kick all over the place.” Zuko sat up, propping himself up on his elbows. 

“I was sleeping on the hard ground! And I had to be prepared to fight in case someone wanted to attack me in my sleep.” A knock came to the door before she could defend herself. “Come in!” Zuko called out, sitting up fully. A servant entered his bedroom, carrying a scroll on a platter. He offered it to Zuko before hurrying out of the room. (Y/N) scrutinized the scroll. 

“Is that a Water Tribe insignia?” Zuko nodded as he unrolled it. She looked over his shoulder as he read. 

“Hakoda is asking me to come to the Southern Water Tribe to discuss reconstruction.” 

(Y/N) couldn’t help but sigh. Throughout his time as Fire Lord, Zuko had left to go on many different trips, whether that be for personal reasons or political. She always missed him when he left, but now that they were together, the pit that formed in her stomach at the thought of him leaving became much bigger. It was exhausting, not only being apart from him but running the country in his stead. 

“When will you leave?” She asked, her voice quiet. She fiddled with the sleeves of her robes. 

“Tomorrow.” She cleared her throat and stood. 

“I’ll have the servants start making preparations.” Zuko grabbed her hand before she could walk out. 

“Come with me.” 

“Zuko...” 

“Please? All of our friends will be there!” 

“Who’s going to watch the Fire Nation?” 

“Any other advisor I trust.” He stroked her hand with his thumb. “You’ve stayed home every other time I’ve left. You haven’t given yourself a break.” 

“I take breaks!” 

“Sitting by the turtle duck pond isn’t a break.” She pursed her lips. “I want you to come with me.” 

While it made her nervous to leave the Fire Nation unattended by her, she knew that Zuko was right. She hadn’t gone anywhere in over two years and her visits with her friends were few and far in between. It would be a nice break from the monotony of everyday life. 

“Okay,” She conceded. The smile on Zuko’s face lit up the whole room. He pulled her close to him and kissed every inch of her face. 

“Thank you!” Zuko cheered, planting a final kiss on her lips. (Y/N) smiled brightly. 

“That means that we have to get rest.” She slipped her hand out of his as he gave a pout.

“Stay here tonight?” He looked into her eyes, and how could she say no? Zuko was her one weakness and sometimes she thought that he knew that. She let out an exaggerated sigh before nodding. “I promise I won’t kick.” 

---

(Y/N) was falling asleep as she sat next to Zuko on the air balloon. They had to leave early in the day, before the sun had even risen, and neither of them had gotten much sleep the night before. They had both enjoyed each other’s company perhaps a bit too much, and had only fallen asleep a few hours before they were supposed to be up. So as hard as she tried not to, she was still finding herself resting her head on Zuko’s shoulder. 

“You can go lay down for a bit,” He said quietly as he kissed the crown of her head. “We won’t be there for a while.” She shook her head, wrapping her arms around his. 

“I’ve never been to the Southern Water Tribe,” (Y/N) said. “It was the one place we never went back to when I was traveling with my friends.” 

“It’s not much,” Zuko said. “A few igloos and huts here and there.” 

“I’m excited to see it regardless. It’s where Sokka and Katara grew up.” She smiled up at Zuko. She realized that she had been doing that a lot more lately: smiling. 

“It’ll be nice to see them again.” 

The trip was long, but they made it to the Southern Water Tribe around lunch time. (Y/N) made sure to put on a big, fluffy coat, as the last time she had been in the Northern Water Tribe, she had been ill-prepared for just how cold it was. She offered a coat to Zuko, but he shook his head. 

“My firebending will keep me warm,” He said. 

“It didn’t keep you warm when you got stuck in that blizzard,” She mumbled. Zuko gave her a playful glare before taking her hand and walking off the the air balloon. 

Almost as soon as (Y/N) set foot in the snow, she was knocked over backwards. She let out a warbled scream as her back hit the ground. When she opened her eyes, they were met with Katara’s bright blue ones. She let out a squeal and tried her best to hug her friend through their thick coats. Katara laughed and helped (Y/N) back up to her feet. 

“We had no idea you were coming!” Katara exclaimed. Soon Sokka and Aang joined them and squeezed (Y/N) in their arms. 

“We only received your father’s invitation yesterday, and me joining was a last minute decision.” 

“We’ve missed you,” Aang said. (Y/N) smiled at him. 

“I’ve missed you guys too, like crazy. We have a lot to catch up on!” 

“GranGran is making lunch if you and Zuko want to join us.” (Y/N) nodded eagerly, but exchanged a look of disgust with Aang. She walked over to Zuko and invited him to lunch, but he shook his head. 

“I have some things to discuss with the Earth King and Chief Hakoda.” 

“Oh, do you want me to come with you?” Zuko shook his head. 

“You go to lunch, I’ll see you in a bit.” They exchanged a kiss before (Y/N) rejoined her friends. 

“What was that?” Sokka asked, absolutely shocked. (Y/N) felt her face get hot. 

“Like I said, a lot to catch up on.” 

Over lunch, (Y/N) told her friends what had happened in her and Zuko’s lives since he returned from finding his mother. They were shocked at the ups and downs, but overall were very happy when she confirmed that she and Zuko were finally together. 

“I’m not one to say I told you so,” Sokka started, and the entire group groaned. 

“Finally, one thing Sokka was right about,” Katara joked. 

“Where’s Toph?” (Y/N) asked. 

“She didn’t want to come,” Aang said. “It’s all snow and ice, so she wouldn’t be able to see.” 

“She’s back in the Earth Kingdom, training others on how to metalbend,” Katara said. (Y/N) smiled. 

“Good for her! I wish I could’ve seen her, but I know she would’ve hated it here.” She ate a small bit of her sea prunes and tried to hide the gag that formed. “Are we too old to go penguin sledding?” 

“You’re never too old to go penguin sledding!” Aang cheered. He grabbed (Y/N) by the hand and dragged her out of the hut, Sokka and Katara following closely behind. They ran to where the penguins were, and spent the rest of the day penguin sledding and playing in the snow. When she had visited the North Pole, they hadn’t had time to enjoy themselves. Life had always been very serious for the four of them. Sokka and Katara had to grow up quickly after the death of their mother. Aang was forced out of childhood and into his Avatar training as soon as he was freed from the iceberg. And (Y/N) had grown up with a life full of expectations and standards that she had to strictly adhere to. So it was fun to be kids, just for a little while. 

When (Y/N) returned to Zuko, her cheeks were rosy from the chilled wind of the South Pole. A big smile was plastered on her face as she walked back to him with her friends at her side. 

“Did you guys have fun?” Zuko asked, wrapping his arm around her as soon as she was at his side. (Y/N) nodded eagerly. 

“We went penguin sledding and built huge ice sculptures! Sokka’s was the worst.” 

“I resent that!” Sokka grumbled. 

(Y/N) and Zuko only spent a few more days in the Southern Water Tribe before they had to return to the Fire Nation. As she hugged her friends goodbye, she felt the tears welling behind her eyes, but wouldn’t let them escape. Part of her wanted to remain strong, but she also feared that they would freeze on her face.

They boarded the air balloon and traveled back home. (Y/N) stared out the window sadly as her friends grew smaller and smaller. Zuko came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

“We’ll see them again soon,” He said. (Y/N) nodded. 

“Maybe sooner rather than later.” 

“Do you get lonely, being in the palace?” She turned to look at him. His face looked sad. She kissed his cheek and shook her head. 

“As long as I have you, I’m never lonely. I just miss our friends.” 

Zuko knew she was lying, but he didn’t say anything. (Y/N) spent every day showing Zuko how much she cared about him. She took on extra work that he didn’t have time for, ensured that he ate all of his meals, and even scheduled breaks for him when he became to enthralled in his work. She was a selfless person, so he decided that he needed to show her just how much she meant to him as well. 

When they returned, unbeknownst to (Y/N), Zuko began the preparations for her eighteenth birthday celebration. The past two years he had let her birthday fall under the rug, but he wouldn’t do that again. He wrote letters to their closest friends from across the globe, instructing them to come to the Fire Nation for her. Her birthday was only in a few days, so their travels would have to be swift, but he hoped that at least some of their friends could make it. 

---

On the day of her eighteenth birthday, (Y/N) woke up to find Zuko standing at the foot of her bed. She jumped, holding a hand to her chest. “Were you watching me sleep?” 

“Only for a few minutes!” Zuko defended himself. He held his hands behind his back, an eager smile etched across his features. She sat up in her bed and rubbed at her eyes. Zuko sat at the side of her bed and held out a small box in his palm. “Happy birthday!” 

She smiled and took the box. Inside was a fresh fruit tart. (Y/N) laughed, immediately taking a bite from the sweet treat. She laughed. “Thank you,” She gave him a kiss. 

“That’s not the only gift I got you,” He said. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow as she ate her fruit tart. “It’s waiting outside.” She jumped out of bed and threw on a pair of flowy maroon pants and her long-sleeved maroon crop top. It wasn’t often that she was able to dress so casually at the palace, but it was her birthday and she was dating the Fire Lord, so she figured she could do whatever she wanted. 

She and Zuko walked to the front of the palace hand-in-hand. Right before they stepped outside, he covered her eyes with a blindfold and let her carefully into the courtyard. “Are you ready?” He asked. (Y/N) nodded eagerly. He pulled the blindfold off, revealing Aang, Toph, Katara, Sokka, Suki, and Ty Lee.

(Y/N) gasped, running into the throng of her friends. She wrapped as many as she could into a hug and squeezed them as tightly as she could. “What are you guys doing here?” 

“Zuko invited us!” Suki said. (Y/N) turned around to smile at Zuko. 

The day was everything that she could have ever wanted. She spent it laughing with her friends and enjoying herself. This was the first time that they had all been together in years and she was enjoying catching up with them. She was especially happy to see Toph, as it had been the longest since she had seen her. The small girl was as feisty as ever, but still hugged (Y/N) every chance she got. 

She was happy to find that her friends would be staying the next few days in the Fire Nation. Once they had all been shown to their rooms, Zuko pulled (Y/N) in the opposite direction of yours. “I have one more surprise for you,” He said as he tugged her to his room. 

He put two scrolls into her hands. When she unraveled the first one, it was a painting of the two of them as children. They couldn’t have been older than twelve and eleven. Zuko’s arms were wrapped around her shoulders, their faces squished together as they smiled. She remembered when this photo was painted. It had been at one of their summers at Ember Island. Zuko had never been a fan of family photos, but (Y/N) had been able to convince him to get one painted with her. She had forgotten all about it. 

The second scroll was a more serious painting, of the two of them as teenagers. Zuko wore his traditional Fire Lord outfit and (Y/N) stood at his side. Both wore bright smiles on their faces. This had been painted a while ago, right when they had begun rebuilding the Fire Nation. 

She looked up at Zuko, the smile on her face as sunny as the ones in the paintings. “Thank you,” She said before kissing him. “Thank you for today. And everything, always. I love you.” 

Zuko hugged her tightly. “I love you too.” They remained like that for a few moments, before he spoke again. “Remember when we were kids and our parents had arranged for us to get married when we got older?” 

(Y/N) nodded as her head rested against his chest. 

“Would you still want to do that?” She pulled away, furrowing her brows. 

“What?” 

“Will you marry me?” 

---

Tag List! 

@afxndommess , @xapham , @thanosismybitxh , @outerxorbit , @thenerdiverse , @himawarichild , @welovediaaxx , @justahockeylover , @loganrwebb , @awesomelupe , @cirtruss , @eridanuswave , @aroyaldarknessblr , @theinfernalmemes , @akariblue , @julietvsanchez05 , @harryisthesunshine , @prospekt-42 , @kindxrjcy , @lunariasilver , @lovepsychicbitch , @mcallmestiles, @simply-stanning , @helbreajs , @shephard17895 , @astroninaaa , @leiaofthestars , @miskwaadesiwag , @art-flirt , @musicalkeys , @aangsty-sokkasm , @we-lucky-few , @vgirl-10123 , @ella-solei , @davnwillcome , @valiantprincessthea , @errrrca , @hahaimstoopid, @kamahriii , @michelletc , @unseasoned-emo-bitch , @maybe-a-fangurl , @niramoon , @hyluas , @youneedmemanidonotneedyou , @luleck , @toasted-crispy-emo27 , @lolaywrites , @swagdaddycam , @itsivyberry , @royahllty , @ramen-hair-denki , @bucky-blogs , @damianwaynerocks , @beew , @lozzybowe , @anonymousbambi , @duh-dobrik , @beifongsss , @lammello

[funkymbtifiction]

Hello! 

Thank you for your past responses! It really helped me.

So, I studied the materials about enneagram 9, and now I am more and more convinced that I can be 9, but maybe with 4 in tritype. Therefore, I decided to write to you to confirm my idea. I apologize in advance if there is a lot of text. Also, I apologize for my English...

I would say core 4.

There's nothing here about seeking internal peace, avoiding conflict, losing yourself in other people, the problems 9s struggle with, nor of repressing anger all that much and ignoring issues.

There's a lot of envy, resentment, idealization, fear of rejection (so premature rejection), awareness of how others are responding to you (and fear of their judgment), some aggression in dominating situations, and a willingness to fight, paired with a lot of head type anxiety, fearful scenario-building, anticipating the worst, etc., combined with what I suspect is a social-dominant focus (so/sp).

I'd guess 4w5 so/sp. (The social 4 is the most anxious about rejection and forming connections, and the social 5 seeks to connect through expertise, which could explain your 'teaching' of other children when you were small.) Social-dominance might explain your 9ish traits.

[byeoltoyuki]

Forever you ⇾ kth

↳Pairing : You x Taehyung

Genre : Fluff / prince Tae

Words: 4k

Warnings: None (except maybe for the fact that he’s watching you swim around naked.)

Summary : He’s a rebellious prince, you’re a free spirit.

****

Taehyung thought that as the future king of this country, he could have everything in life; fame, love, women, money, freedom. And he did have most of it. But freedom? It was an illusion, a dream. And nothing more.

By the young age of ten, Taehyung came to realization that he would never be free. When kids of his age could run and fool around in the streets, he had to stay between the walls of the castle, being watched, being tutored. He could never leave the castle alone; it was too dangerous they said. He couldn’t mingle with other kids, because he was too special and they were not.

In fact, soon enough, Taehyung began to hate his status, to resent his life. He didn’t want to be a prince or a king which led him to become this rebellious prince who would spend his time escaping from the castle and drive his tutors mad.

Taehyung didn’t have just one place where he would escape. No, sometimes he would wander around the capital (hiding his identity, of course), sometimes he would ride till small villages, sometimes he would just wander in the forest, seeking for its peace and calmness.

Just like today, he chose to ride his favorite horse to the forest that surrounded the castle. Some would consider adventuring in the forest dangerous, after all bandits lived in this woods but Taehyung didn’t care. He knew this woods as the back of his hand, just like he could defend himself in case of attack.

“Wait for me here, mate.” Taehyung patted his horse’s head, fondly. “I won’t be too long.” But that was a half lie and both his horse and him knew it. It wasn’t the first time or the last; Taehyung just easily lost track of time which led him to some unwanted trouble.

The summer cool breeze brushed his hair, touched his face. Taehyung paused to enjoy the moment. In this right moment, he was stripped of his title, he was just a young man wandering around the place.

A smile formed on his face, all his worries had faded. No more thoughts about marriage. No more thoughts about a ball that would seal his fate with someone he didn’t know. No more thoughts about his future. Instead, he rambled freely in the woods.

His feet led him to a place, and Taehyung thought he knew these woods like the back of his hand, foreign to him. There was a damn waterfall in what he believed the heart of the forest. But was there always a waterfall? Taehyung was uncertain. And it didn’t matter that much either because this place was a sight to behold.

Taehyung resumed walking, wanting to get closer to the rocks and have a better look on the pool and taste the waters. Maybe he would go for a swim, after all it was a warm day and he bet the water had the perfect temperature. But his plans vanished from his mind as fast as they came.

Here, in the water, someone was already swimming around. Taehyung squinted only to realize that the person in the water was a girl. You. A creature fallen from heaven, there was no other way to explain your presence. He knew the proper thing to do would be to clear his throat and make you realize that you were no longer alone but his voice got stuck in his throat.

You stopped swimming around and simply stood in the water, your back facing him. Taehyung found himself unable to talk, he opened his mouth but closed it almost as soon. You brought your fingers to your completely wet long hair and run them through; Taehyung followed your every move, completely hypnotized, bewitched.

Without even realizing it, Taehyung took a step forwarding, standing now dangerously close to the bank. He stepped on a branch and despite the soft sound of water falling into the pool, you heard him.

Startled, you sank deeper into the water until only your face came out of the water. You were glaring at him with your innocent big eyes and Taehyung found himself one more time captivated and unable to speak. There you were, trying to hide your body from his eyes (and the clear water was of no use) and he tried not to look but the temptation was too strong.

Until you spoke. “Who are you?” There was hesitation in your voice and maybe a hint of fear and curiosity.

Taehyung cleared, quite awkwardly to his liking, his voice, opened his mouth to speak but sadly for him, he stumbled and fell right into the water with a loud and totally unmanly shriek.

He did plan to swim but without his clothes. Now he was left wet and terribly embarrassed. Taehyung quickly emerged from the water - he was right, the temperature was perfect, and looked straight ahead of him, looked at the now giggling girl. Well, you were hardly a girl and more of a young woman around his age.

“You’re alright?” You managed to say in between your giggles - pure and soft and so contagious, Taehyung found himself giggling along with you, embarrassment long forgotten.

“I’m sorry. I should have looked away.” Taehyung, despite apologizing, couldn’t stop himself from grinning, it was hard not to when this lovely creature was smiling so brightly at him. What else was he supposed to do?

“You should.” You approved but your smile told him that you didn’t mind. “I’d be in big trouble if someone sees us."

Taehyung hummed in approval and yet he moved closer to you, eyes on you waiting for a change in them, waiting for you to show him that he should keep his distance. You didn’t stop him. Not when he was getting closer. Not when he found himself inches from you. "Hi.”

Your grin grew wider, if possible. “Hello.”

“What such a lovely creature like you doing alone, naked, may I add, in those woods?” Taehyung asked, voice getting oddly deeper even to his own ears. He knew he was too close, he could feel your naked body under water but he didn’t mind a bit, instead his eyes were glued to your face, to your pinky and like pillow lips - he licked his own unconsciously.

“Who told you I was alone?” You laughed heartily and gently splashed him. You took, no, you tried to take a step back but Taehyung followed and got even closer.

“Then we’re about to get in trouble, aren’t we?” He joked not believing for a second that you had brought someone with you.

But maybe, Taehyung was too captivated with this lovely creature to be reasonable.

“Miss Y/N!” Woman’s voice startled both of you - mainly Taehyung.

Taehyung looked, eyes wide, at you, realizing his mistake. You, on the other hand, only laughed and pushed him out of your way.

“Told you.” You swam as fast as you could back to the bank where your dress was resting on a rock. Just when you were about to get out of water you remembered that he was still watching your every move which forced you to pause and glanced over your shoulder. “I believe you’ve seen enough. Can you turn around?”

“Miss Y/N! Your father is-” Upon realization that the voice was getting too loud and too clear, Taehyung found himself with no other choice but dove under water to hide his presence.

“My goodness! Miss!” The woman yelled in shock at seeing you standing naked. “What were you thinking?! What if someone-”

That sounded awfully familiar. “Mary.” One look at Mary and it was enough to silence her. You thought that all of your servants would be used by now with your careless, free and rebellious nature. Apparently not.

Mary cursed, you believed, under her breath and looked down at her skirt, tried to sooth down but without success. “I’m merely saying that if your father heard of it- no, if someone told him what you were actually doing during your-”

“I know.” You cut her right before she could remind you that once more you had escaped from your tutor. You glanced nervously over your shoulder, only to realize that the intruder was still under water - you had to get out of here as fast as possible.

Which was a shame really.

“Let’s go."

And then you were gone.

Taehyung emerged from under the water, gasping for air; any more seconds under water and he would have died. Taehyung rubbed his eyes, trying to remove the remaining of water from his eyes and face before he looked at the place you were standing a moment ago.

To say that Taehyung was disappointed would be the understatement of the century. He was devastated. Just when he laid his eyes on a lovely creature, it had to disappear. It was unfair, but Taehyung considered himself lucky as he at least got to know your name.

"Y/N…” He whispered to himself, a tiny smile spread on his face.

***

The second time Taehyung met you was barely one week later. As things got too overwhelming for Taehyung’s liking, he escaped. Again. Without thinking twice, he rode to the forest with the hope to see you once more.

And he did.

This time, however, you weren’t swimming or naked (sadly for him). You sat on the rocks with what looked piece of papers on your laps; you were concentrated on drawing. He smiled, happy to see you again.

“Hello Y/N.” He cleared his throat, this time warning you of his presence which still startled you.

Your papers almost fell from your laps but luckily for you, you caught them on time. “Oh. It’s you.” Upon seeing your handsome stranger, your heartbeat got faster and you were certain your face turned pink. Luckily for you, with the sun being on you, you could blame it on staying under the sun for too long.

“You’re not swimming today.” Taehyung stated the obvious, “What a pity.” He wiggled his brows playfully at you and if those words had come up from someone else you would have felt outraged but with him, you only laughed heartily and let him approach you.

“Indeed.” You nodded, “In case someone decide to spy on me.” And you smirked at how red his ears turned.

“I- I was not spying on you!” Taehyung hurried to defend himself but maybe it made him only look more suspicious - he coughed, awkwardly. “I was merely walking around.”

You quirked a brow at him, still unconvinced. “And of course instead of warning me of your presence, you thought it would be best just to watch me from afar huh.”

A girl of your status should have felt horrified, a man had seen you completely naked and if it was heard among your peers, you would be in very big trouble. You, however, couldn’t care less, not when it was about such a handsome, fairy-like man. The only reason you teased him about the accident was because of his adorable reaction.

“I-I’m,” Taehyung stammered and you couldn’t hold in any longer your laughter. Taehyung paused, frowned and then sighed. “You’re making fun of me, Y/N, aren’t you?”

“I would not dare.” You tried to hide your smile by putting your hand on your mouth but it was just too hard. So you laughed and Taehyung thought it was the most lovely sound in the world. How could he stay, no, how could he even pretend being mad?

“Now, come to think of it,” You started, “You’re very familiar with my name, but I still don’t know yours."

In this moment, Taehyung hesitated. His name wasn’t special but for a second he feared you would discover his identity and suddenly change your behavior. But you took him by surprise by humming and letting out a tiny ‘I see’.

"Wha-”

“Don’t worry.” You cut him, “Still, I need to find a suitable name for you. Can’t call you sir or my lord-”

“I don’t mind the ‘my lord’.” Taehyung hurried to say which only made you roll your eyes at him and chuckle. “I’m joking. That won’t do.” He rubbed his chin as he thought of a name. He couldn’t give you his full name, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t give you at least a nickname. “How about Tae?”

“Tae?” You tried out, then nodded, liking the sound of it. “Hello Tae.” You jumped from your rock and got closer to him. “Nice to meet you.”

“My pleasure, my lady.” Taehyung smiled and grabbed gently your hand to bring it to his lips so he could kiss your hand.

It was such a slow and gentle gesture. Your heart pounded hard against your ribs; you couldn’t look away, you couldn’t breathe. He had reduced you to dizzy, nervous state.This man was different from the men you had previously met (not like you had met many but still) and he was extremely dangerous to your weak heart.

***

From this very moment, Taehyung found himself escaping the castle more than he should, more than acceptable just because he wanted to see you, just because he, quickly realized, you would be waiting for him too. It was unreasonable and dangerous thing to do, to keep doing - he knew all that but his heart won over his mind. Because honestly, he couldn’t picture himself staying away from you, from your smile, from your laugh. He couldn’t.

Today, however, was a gloom day for Taehyung. It was almost the end of the summer which meant the ball where he was supposed to pick a bride was right around the corner and he could do absolutely nothing to avoid it. Which meant also, the end for his romantic escape. Which meant he could never see you again and this only thought broke his heart.

He rode to the waterfall with a heavy, pained heart. How could he face you and tell you it was the last time? How could he tell you that despite his strong feelings, he could do nothing except bid his goodbye.

When Taehyung reached his destination you were already waiting for him, sitting on the same rock every single time. Despite his sadness, he smiled at the sight of you, resting under the sun. And god, the sun loved you as it caressed and illuminated your face.

“Y/N.” Taehyung greeted you, trying to control his voice and hide the fact that he was desperate and terrified not to see you ever again.

“Tae!” You beamed and hurried to get to him. Except, maybe you were too excited to see him - you stumbled and would have fallen if not for Taehyung’s quick reflexes. He caught you on time, one hand wrapped tightly around your arm while he had an arm wrapped safely around you. You blinked, confused and mesmerized at the same time as you got so close to him, feeling his warmth, almost touching his body.

“I know you’re excited to see me, but be careful.” He chuckled without letting you go. It was hard to.

You blushed at his words and felt the need to defend yourself but that would be pointless because yes, you were a little too excited to see him. Instead, you huffed and tried to push him away but Taehyung didn’t budge, in fact, his grip around you tightened and you found yourself pressed against his chest. Taken aback, you gasped softly before looking at him. “Tae?”

Taehyung found it hard to think when you were pressed against him. When he could feel your perfect (yes perfect, because he still remembered your naked body, it kept him awake at night) breasts.

“Would it be completely inappropriate if I want to have a swim with you?”

“That would be indeed so inappropriate.” You insisted on the ‘inappropriate’ but by the ton of your voice, Taehyung knew you were fooling around. “Why not. I have nothing to hide from you anymore, after all.”

Which was true but still, the thought of getting naked before him still made you blush and a tiny bit anxious. Back then, he was a stranger, today, he was a friend. You pushed him from you, smiling widely.

“Well then, join me?” You winked and took few steps from him as you grabbed the edge of your thin dress and pulled it over your head. You disregarded all your clothes and before Taehyung could recover from how quick and willing you were, you jumped right into the water with a loud laugh.

“Shit.” Taehyung cursed under his breath and started to undress. You were, indeed, a temptation he couldn’t part with so easily.

He followed you into the water shortly.

“Catch me if you can.” You dared him as you swam farther from him, believing that at least in the water you were faster than anyone.

You weren’t and Taehyung proved it to you right away.

In the blink of an eye he was behind you and snatched you, bringing you against his naked body. You giggled, absolutely delighted that he had caught you so easily (you were usually a sore loser but it was him, you couldn’t resist). But then, you gulped hardly as you realized that you were both naked, that you could feel every part of his body against your back, against your thighs.

“Tae? Your voice came out weaker than you wanted but really who could blame you when the most beautiful man on earth was pressing you against him?

Taehyung didn’t answer, he couldn’t. His mind was going crazy; he could either let you go or do something incredibly dangerous for both of you. He closed his eyes, trying to have some self-control which ended up being useless as your delicious, fruity scent invaded all his senses.

"I’ll be damned.” Taehyung cursed under his breath and then, just when you wanted to glance at him, he spun you in his arms. He cupped your face, gently, “Y/N…” Taehyung wasn’t sure himself what exactly he was asking for. Permission? For a kiss? For something more?

You chose for him as you pressed yourself a little more against him, wanting to get his lips closer to yours. Taehyung licked his lips in response, eyes darting back and forth between your eyes and your lips, before finally leaning over you. You closed your eyes and waited.

It was a light brush of the lips at first, so light you weren’t even sure you had felt it. But then, Taehyung pressed his lips stronger against yours and he tilted your head for better access. You let him take control over you.

Taehyung’s lips felt divine and nothing like you expected it to be. The kiss itself was so innocent, so pure and sweet and so much better than your imagination.

You sighed in delight into the kiss and wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, letting your fingers run through his soft locks while you kissed him back, trying to mimic his gesture, trying to learn from him. Taehyung was your first kiss and a perfect one on top of that. A kiss you would forever remember.

Taehyung wished time could stop. He wished he could stay with you in his arms, kissing you - it felt divine. You were exactly what he needed and yet couldn’t have. Once again, he came to hate his status. If only he was a normal man.

Taehyung pulled from you, only to press his forehead against yours, eyes closed.

“Tae?” One look at his face and you knew exactly what was going on in his pretty mind. He was torn and sad and so were you. Both of you knew that today was probably the last time you could see each other. It was heartbreaking and unfair but there was nothing you could do.

“God, I wish I could make you mine.” He managed to say it through gritted teeth. “I wish for it so badly.”

All you could do was whimper softly, pained as well. “I’m so sorry.”

Taehyung kissed your eyes and licked the tears that pricked in the corner of your eyes. “So am I.”

****

Usually, Taehyung was rather fond of balls; he would dance with lovely women, laugh with his friends and drink as much as he could. This ball, however, was anything but fun. No, it was hell-ish and he wished he could escape discretely through the back door. Or the balcony, that would do too. He wished he could escape forever and elope with you. You, the lovely creature that stayed in his mind wherever he went.

But he couldn’t escape. His fate was sealed.

The sole purpose of this ball was for him to find a bride. The future princess, the future queen.  None of the present young girls were fitted to the role and none could possibly melt his heart and make his forget the one he truly desired.

“Son,” The king turned to look at him, scowling at him. “You need to-”

“I know.” Taehyung cut him; he knew it was rude of him, he was addressing his father but also the King, but he couldn’t help the bitterness in his voice.

The King sighed and chose to overlook his audacity. “I know what you think.” Taehyung’s father, despite being the King, he was also a father and he understood his son’s feelings more than Taehyung thought, but sometimes there was nothing he could do. His duty to the crown came first, feelings second. “There is actually someone I want you to meet. My friend’s daughter. I didn’t have the chance to see her more than twice but she’s a brilliant girl. Maybe too brilliant but I do have a feeling you would get along.”

That, Taehyung had a hard time to believe, nevertheless he nodded his head, resigned to his fate.

“Good.” His father approved and then, his face lightened up as the said person walked along with his father in the ballroom. “Ah, here they are.”

Taehyung’s followed his father’s eyes - here, among so many people, you were, smiling brightly as you greeted many persons, laughed heartily as your father whispered something to your ear. He blinked, confused, surprised, and so utterly happy he could not find the words or the strength to describe how he felt.

“Taehyung?” His father noticed his calmness and quirked a brow, curious at the sudden change in his eyes. “What is it?” Then, he saw how Taehyung took a step forward, eyes on you. “Do you perhaps know her?"

Taehyung’s body betrayed him by nodding. His father, however, only chuckled and thought it would best not to ask how it was even possible that the two of you managed to meet and how inappropriate it was.

Completely mesmerized, Taehyung walked towards you, heart beating crazily in his chest, pounding so hard, so excited, so happy to find out that no, there was still some fairness in this world. He had found you, again.

Whispers rose around him as he stopped right behind you. He held his breath, in fact, he wasn’t sure he could talk, too scared that his emotions would give him out. But god, he was just so glad to be once more reunited with you.

"Miss Y/N.” He remembered just on time that he couldn’t call you just by your name without raising some suspicions.

You froze right on the spot. Your ears were playing you a trick, there was no other way, you thought. Scared to be deceived, you refused to turn around. Until your father gently nudged your arm and shoot you a look that told you it was very impolite. So you turned around only to see the man you yearned for.

No words left your mouth, you simply couldn’t while Taehyung, on the other hand, grinned widely, eyes shining brightly at you. Eyes that held promises. Promises of love and a forever ever.

[umbralstars]

Basically an "All you need to know" about how I personally write Byleth/All of my Byleth headcanons. This is probably not everything but it's still long enough I have to put it under the cut.

* His birthday is 26 day of Blue Sea Star Moon 1159

- I know that 20 of Horsebow is probably the canon date but I've always used this one since my first playthrough and keep it cause I find it funny

* Byleth has all kinds of memory issues

* Demi-panromantic & demisexual

*Trans masc (He/Him & They/Them)

- He remembers and has dreams of things that are from when Sothis was alive

- He sometimes has trouble recalling facts about the world he lives in (such as who is currently ruling, his teaching plans or things that he has taught before, sometimes can't recall where he is). He keeps a journal of important things that he saw, learned, needs to know etc

+ Caused by being misaligned with Sothis' soul and her consciousness trying to overtake his own

+ He doesn't lose memories outright and can recall things if given the right direction. Once a memory is solidified as more long term it's much harder for him to forget it

- Sothis' memories can cause bad flashbacks that can take him minutes to get out of

+ Jeralt and the other mercenaries look out for him when episodes happen. They often have him talk about them afterwards if he wants too (ie like Jeralt and Byleth's conversation at the beginning of the game after the dream about Seiros/meeting with Sothis)

+ He can't speak during them and gets very spacey

- Fighting and strategy is instinctual for him so memory issues in those areas are non-existent

- When his soul fuses with Sothis' his memory problems mostly cease. All the memories about his own life are permanently solidified and he can somewhat tell the difference between his memories and Sothis'. He still can be paralyzed by her memories but has a much easier time getting out of dazes

* Has a love for learning about the history and culture of Fodlan and everywhere else

- When he was little Jeralt would often tell him stories and folktales about Fodlan while they were riding across the country side. The pre-month cutscenes during White Clouds are Byleth recalling those stories

- Loves learning about the places outside of Fodlan just as much as learning about Fodlan itself

- His favorite books are about history or folklore

* At a crossroad between trusting people implicitly and keeping others at arm's length

- His life as a mercenary certainly wasn't easy, even though he doesn't resent it, so he tends towards giving others the benefit of the doubt even when he may doubt their intentions. Cautiously trusting if you will. Some people may view him as naive because he's willing to trust off the bat and he's fine with that.

- Does fall in line with mercs not really trusting nobles but he points that more towards the parents currently in power and not the kids he knows

- Goddess help you if you break his trust. Once you break his trust it's very hard to actually get it back unless you give him cause for why it was broken in the first place

* Very protective of the people he cares about

- Death or injury of people he care for has always been his biggest fear. His family has always tried to tell him it's just a fact of life, their life especially, but he would rather fight tooth and nail to keep someone alive then to just let them die

* Really good with children actually

* Takes his job as a teacher very seriously. He knows how rough Fodlan and fighting can be, so wants to impart good lessons in the hopes of making his students' lives easier. He knows that some of them have already seen horrors or have been on battlefields, so he treats each person accordingly

* Has a really bad resting bitch face so people think he's really intense/scary when first meeting him

- He has complicated feelings towards being perceived as "intense" or "terrifying" since on one hand it's very useful when he needs to be perceived that way, but on the other hand he feels like that first impression makes it hard to connect with people afterward

- He doesn't ever go out of his way to make people perceive him differently mostly because it would be a hassle and he's thinks people who really know him would understand he's not like that

* Byleth is actually very introverted and somewhat has social anxiety

- He spent almost his entire life around the same people moving from place to place so introversion aside he's not the most experienced about talking to new people

- He never stops people when they want to talk and doesn't really hate talking to people it's just that he doesn't go out of his way to do it unless he likes talking to someone or it's important

* Jeralt's mercenary company is his family and the people he's closest to until Garreg Mach. The Mercenaries are an elite group of about 13 people of various backgrounds

- All of them are basically his aunts and uncles cause they practically raised him alongside Jeralt. He does call a lot of them Aunt and Uncle as well

- One or two are also like siblings to him cause they joined with their parent or when they were younger (like 15)

- They were the only people able to get close to Byleth or get him to talk for the first week or so after Jeralt's death

- I need to expand on them more cause they're very important to me and him

* Byleth has trouble outwardly expressing emotions and understanding his own. He actually feels very deeply but just has trouble really expressing it. Very monotone and straight to the point when he speaks and only slight shifts in tone tells how he's really feeling. Actually has hyper empathy

- Grew up like this despite Jeralt and the Mercenaries' best efforts. Jeralt was always best as reading him because he acted so much like Sitri

- Caused once again by a misalignment with Sothis' soul

- After his awakening, Byleth has a better ability to express himself, and even took on some of Sothis' characteristics, but he still has trouble explaining or talking about what he's feeling

* Generally very calming to be around for most people. Won't ever force anyone to talk but will talk if you start conversation

* Has done some very questionable work as a mercenary

- He has taken on a few assassinations in the past despite Jeralt's insistence he never get his hands dirty like that. The Remire Medicine Incident is one not spoken of much within the company

- He's dealt with brigands, putting down rebellions, guarding caravans, guarding nobles, helping train the standing armies, etc everything under the sun. Will practically do anything if the pay is right

- He does have standards and expects a full rundown of the job beforehand like his father and the rest of the company though

* Loves cats and dogs

* Actually pretty religious and devout by the time of his awakening

- He wasn't completely raised without knowledge of the Church as some of the mercenaries are religious, but he was agnostic for a good portion of his life

- As he lived at Garreg Mach and learned more about the Church's teachings he grew to appreciate it more and more

- Rhea taught him a lot during his many conversations with her

- As Archbishop he does his best to learn every aspect of the Church and exemplify them best he can. Really emphasizes giving aid to those in need, leans heavily into the "Goddess" aspect of his soul, reforms many aspects whilst keeping the core of the faith

- Personally speaks to Sothis on more of an equal and friend level then true God and devotee

- Does become known as the Holy Saint and Avatar of the Goddess within the Church years after he steps down as Archbishop. Doesn't really know how to feel about it but can't say his inclusion is wrong

* Byleth doesn't have the highest opinion of Edelgard

- As I write AM/VW Byleth he was never close to Edelgard at all during his time at Garreg Mach

- He really only sees her as the person who started the whole continental war (which he despises as he very much dislikes war in its entirety) and the person he believes to at least be complicit in his father's death (do not debate with me how much Edelgard knew Kronya's plan. This is entirely how Byleth views what happened)

- He never wished for her death, but does view her as someone very misguided and only wishes she never went as far as she did

* Very terrified of sleep after waking up post-Time Skip

- Fears falling asleep and loose more parts of his life an leaving everyone behind again

- Prefers to have someone close by who can wake him or being woken up in the morning

- Got into the unhealthy habit of just working himself into exhaustion and having a very irregular sleep schedule until his friends had an intervention to talk about what was going on