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#i feel like i cant even express how much i feel because its too much
shady-shrub · 10 months
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has everyone else watched and/or listened to npmd everyday since it came out or is it just me. guys seriously this musical is too much i can't. ITS RUINING MY LIFE PLEASE HELP?!?!?
i feel like if i had a week to be silly i could make a complete lore video. every detail, reference, foreshadowing. all the nightmare times for the 4th time, all the musicals, all the posts from people in these productions.
ANYWAY. i rewatched tgwdlm for the 2nd time this week and. npmd is still my favorite BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE all the bits that make up this first guy. THE AUDIENCE IS SO FUN! look at the reactions. love the trash can scene AND I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO NOT YOUR SEED. SUCH A BOP and then bill dies. :( BUT LOOK AT THE LIGHTING. i thought the background was the coolest forever. ESPECIALLY as the tv/radio paul listens to. ehhejfjd THE JOKES. they still make me laugh?? prof hidgens is such a goofy. he is insane, but at least he gives emma and ted a cool performance! ITS ALL SO!! and as time goes on it just gets better?? black friday is!!!!
i honestly didn't like black friday when it came out. i dunno why it just didn't hit me like tgwdlm. then i watched jon's watch party on it. rewatched 3 times that day and??? I love it so much????
ALSO. sorry but nightmare times SLAP. first one i was :/ BUT IT JUST GOT SO GOOD ONWARDS EHDHEHR. hey melissa is not that bad guys. and dream machine isn't either okay. im normal and all of you guys who disagree are the weird ones.
(fr tho i dont know why people don't like them. can someone explain because genuinely confuzzled? i love them so much mhmhm, it's not anymore horrific than any other story HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HONEY QUEEN??)
sorry for this. whatever it is im just so full of thoughts and need to let them escape and REBLOGGING AND LOOKING AT THE SAME PHOTOS ISNT DOING IT ANYMORE.
fr tho wish i had more time to delve into this normal subject ive been lightly indulging in the past few weeks.
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the-knife-consumer · 7 months
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Forgot just how upsetting gloomed korok forest is
#idk. just this one sanctuary that was different from the rest in that all of these spirits only link and a few others#can see are offering you help and safety. care uniquely for you. a bed for YOU. YOUR sword. kept safe for 100 years for YOU.#thrown together shops just for YOU because nobody else goes here or even knows it exists.#and then you return and the people who cared so much about you dont even speak to you anymore#they cant speak. they just stand there#idk korok forest made me feel the most like i fucked up somehow#rito village was bad but still livable. if things got any worse then they would have to abandon home until it settled#but no one was in immediate life threatening danger#gerudo was really REALLY bad and people were in danger. just all crammed inside a bunker. no going into town because your#home doesnt belong to you anymore#and then the zora were ... idk felt the least pressing even though it definitely should be bc like. they breathe water.#if the water is gross theyll die. but idk something about how it was executed felt less terrible#maybe they outwardly expressed more hope? idk. same with the gorons didnt feel like there was a pressing threat#but korok forest is fucking AWFUL. god#idk. nobody in hyrule talks about it because they dont know there are people there. nobody else can see them so nobody knows#somethings wrong. with no lead into it finding korok forest the way it is just feels soooo much worse.#idk. on my first playthru i kind thought i fucked up and shouldve gotten there sooner.#it just feels like no matter what youre too late and its your fault
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yaoianime · 6 months
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Soon im rly gonna do it
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#🕸️#sui mention#< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are#like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however#every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day#it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a#wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach#into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i#cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening#almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not#only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is#to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being#or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in#coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe#its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont#hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am#im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf#its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will#i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to#do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks#thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#let me express to u perhaps The frustration of my life#i like to learn. it is perhaps my favorite thing. new information. more more more constantly#but. my fucking brain is the fucking worst. because im not fucking stupid if i can focus and process the words being said i can understand#many things. i like to learn about math and physics and chemistry and biology and anatomy... ect concepts#but the focus and the processing of words is where we have problems. because i cannot focus for more than like 5min#i blink and suddenly ive been spaced out for a sec and need to reorient. i cant prioritize what to do 1st and im constantly bouncing betwee#tasks so nothing ever gets done and im too intimidated to start learning things. and when im trying to learn we habe the processing words#problem. like my reading comprehension is so fucking bad. like i will read a book on paper and maybe retain 25% of the info if im not#hardcore trying. for a class where i had to do a ton of paper reading. i had to read everything out loud to myself. highlight important#info. write myself a summary based on the highlights and then read the paper again before i could even begin to feel comfortable in#discussions. it was so fucking frustrating and miserable. ppl will give me physical books and im like thanks i cant fucking read sorry#too fucking dyslexic. read and listen they say. u have to read and listen at the same time bc i cant pay attention and i cant read#so if i do both then maybe the info gets in. thats y i have to read aloud but i hate it and still get distracted#i mean. i probably just have an attention problem. its also really annoying that my short term working memory is so awful#bc in order to make things make sense i have to draw or write them out. i cant judt go off the top of my head or i get stuck saying thr sam#thing over and over and over. its like my ability to think is extremely shallow. but thrn i read papers and recognize concepts from classes#i took years ago and im like. fucking y cant i know what i know? my head feels so empty but info is in there somewhere#its just so fucking frustrating that i love understanding systems so much. complex annoying little systems that fit together like a puzzle#and my fucking brain refuses to accept the information im trying to get in there. so i return to a remark left on my dyslexia assignment:#intelligent when not constrained by language or time. thanks. unfortunately language is how ppl communicate#also i freak out under time pressure lol. anyway ive just been reading papers for fun this weekend and remembering y i dont: bc its agony#but also i fucking love the concepts so much and i need a good understanding of photosynthesis before August when i join a photosynthesis#lab lmao. ugh. i love learning but my brain was not buildmt#built for it. if only if only someone could podcast about the obscure things im interested in while reading directly from the source#unrelated#also its like 105 degrees plus. its too fucking hot out#thats like 40 degrees C. the sun is like a death ray
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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Oh god I need to know it anyone else noticed Nanba and Saeko have a different relationship than she has with anyone else in the group? Plus Ichiban’s most natural flirting is aimed at Zhao even without player input 😭😭😭
nanba and saeko def have a really cute relationship, i adore their interactions immensely (❁´◡`❁)
and lbr ichi's matching zhao's energy alright. insert zhao 'kasuga-kun' compilation here
#snap chats#honestly i love how saeko interacts with everyone- like she never feels like The Girl of the group she just feels like a part of the group#yk what i mean ? like i feel like in a lot of other casts where theres one/few girls they stick out like sore thumbs#because of how the other cast members and the media treats her but with saeko its like#Yeah No She's Here. She's A Girl But That Doesn't Mean Much#like obvi there's some instances like her offering to be a hostess but Tactical Necessity right#and honestly even the party chats she has with everyone are so nice too i love them so much#i love the one where she and adachi are roleplayin having kansai accents that shits so cute and funny#sorry for the impromptu saeko rant i just never express how much i loved her character and contribution to y7#yk whats funny tho as i was walking to my computer i thought about making a nanba post and lo and behold#it wasnt a major one it was just me going 'i cant believe that during my VA ramble i forgot one of my favorite fun facts#and that's greg chun also voices ike from fire emblem' because ike's been My Baby since like. 2008#he's still jason adkins to me </3 but i mean greg chun also voiced luke from shadows of valentia#ok ill stop with the VA talk i promise thats the only one i wanted to update on#thats a lie but i'm forcing myself to stay semi on topic#ichi and zhao are funny too theyre such fuckin goobers#like ichi definitely dicks with zhao the most- or at least zhao matches his energy the most equally imo#Y7's cast and relationships are just top tier thats all i can really say#i love how despite eri being an optional character she still has party chats with everyone#i love eri.... BUT thats a post for another day#im either A.) going to continue trying to figure out how modding works B.) play smash ultimate
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tortademaracuya · 1 year
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#idk why i thought it would be different this time#im an absolute idiot. im too fucking stupid to comprend all this shit#'maybe my professors will know how to help me' they never tell me shit. they havent helped me at all. i feel so stupid every correction#no matter how much i read or what i watch its like i cant understand anything#i used to love programming!!! i used to actually know what i was doing!!!!! when did i become so stupid!!!!#should i aak for help from someone else? probably! but i dont want them to know how much of an idiot i am#just kidding. i know all my friends know how stupid i am. doesnt mean i dont want them to give them even more proof of that#nor bother them either tbh. why should they have to waste time because im a fucking idiot?#im. such a disappointment#i dont want to do this anymore#every monday is just me going to that stupid class and see how dumb i am compared to everyone else. so pathetic#how did i even manage to pass all my classes? how do i only have my thesis left?#part of me wants to abandon everything but what would i do then? look for a job?#im an idiot and a horrible artist where the hell would i get a job? not like finishing my thesis would change that but. yknow#im so scared. for real how did it end up like this?#everyday i feel more stupid. i remember less. my body hurts a little more each day for reasons unknown#i dont understand how others have any expectation of me#i cant talk to others because everytime i have tried to express any worry i instantly get a joke or mock in reply#im so tired of everything#haunted.txt
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zan0tix · 20 days
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Any general thoughts on/relating to the Brobot?
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Have my half awake scrawlings...
I really love the brobot!!!! People really misconstrue it and also leave it out in a lot of dirkjake talk? Its a big player in not only how dirk expresses his affection/desire towards jake but also in their multi year spanning unspoken game of gay chicken 😭😭(all of dirks splinters are but Not about them rn)
It was sent yknow under the pretense that jake loves wrestling and wished so bad to have somebody he could wrestle with. But at the same time it protects jake from the horrors of hellmurder island (seen before they strife), pushing jake into the Damsel in distress role he wasnt expecting to play even before all the shit in the game, with Dirk being his hero.
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Jake says he keeps it on a high difficulty because apparently in the Novice mode he says their interactions become "too tender" and doesnt want to elaborate, Friendly reminder! His convo with jane on the SAME DAY dirk pulled off that big romantic overture and the kiss happens and him and dirk begin "dating".. is the same day he asked jane if it didnt make him weird for wanting to date dirk. And he also says hed joke around with dirk about how theyd soo make a great couple if dirk were a girl haha.
I imagine the brobot and well. Getting physical like that with a robot that supposedly looks like dirk probably gave jake his internal gay awakening at 13 but he just never wanted to actually confront it and instead just wanted to brush past everything 😭😭 (See: every single time sexuality or romance comes up in relation to jake he is literally always thinking about dirk somehow and he never directly talks about his attraction to men or how that reflects/contradicts on his self image of the Movie Star Hero guy)
and jake doesnt actually hate the thing either, he tells jane he thinks it genuinely did improve his fighting capabilities (Which we see it did in collide! he beat basically the whole felt with guns and fisticuffs alone, no hope powers.) Which serves as a pretty evident parallel to dave who also is good at fighting, even if he doesnt want to be. (see dirk + dave convo)
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This one comes from hussies authors notes in the aradiabot and equius scene (which equius imagery being invoked with dirk. something i could totally rant about another time haha) but yeah. Jake was being selfish asshat in that log forcing jane into a corner and wringing what he wanted to hear out of her, and also not giving a shit about the brobot (Which served as his protector and only other semblance of human connection since he was 13 and was a BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM DIRK) KILLING ITSELF? But hes so preoccupied talking about dirk. THE REAL DIRK. And immediately after jake loses the dirk splinter that protected him, HE (AND DIRK) CREATE A NEW ONE FOR HIMSELF USING THEIR COMBINED POWERS/?
Hussie is lying.. somebody Does care about dirks feelings. a whole lot to the point they activate their powers unwittingly Because of it. and its jake. but jake just cant admit that himself. (He cannot admit his real feelings until given permission to, dirk would have to concede the game of gay chicken first using his words and not just actions)
ANYWAY. hussie is so right its so easy to get sidetracked times one million talking about this comic. BUT AHH!! BROBOT. his existence.. tragic.. Jakes really smart in knowing that all of dirks splinters enlighten aspects of himself he doesnt oft share, and the brobot served as another dirk action on the pile of dirk actions he engineers to signify his deep immense care for jake, where he lets these grand gestures and implications sit out in the open without ever actually saying what they mean and where his feelings lay.
EVEN IF ITS SUPER OBVIOUS. The d man cant use his big boy words to actually describe his feelings despite how much a yaps! so jake doesnt know if hes even allowed to say anything about his own. Fellas: Is it gay if you labour for supposedly an extended period of time to create a custom robot in your own image to ship in pieces to your best bro guy crush who is HUNDREDS OF YEARS IN THE PAST because you cant be there yourself?
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I think this hal message says enough about how bad dirk wished he could visit jake 💀💀
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feline-insolitum · 9 months
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i was gonna put this on a reblog to this post but i decided it needed to be its own post so here we go
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LOOK AT HIM!!!
most other trainers will be super badass or cool whenever theyre terastallizing their pokemon. but kieran just kinda stands there devoid of life. he looks like hes not even there. almost like he's just... dissociating through the whole thing
you can also see eyebags that his teal mask model didn't have. he's been working himself to the absolute bone to get stronger. another character (i forget who) even says hes been sacrificing sleep just to get stronger. its very obviously been taking a toll on him
but looking back on the battle as a whole, this wasnt even the only time where he looked dull and lifeless. for the entire battle, when hes not being dramatic on purpose, he just looks so out of it
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you cant look at these pictures and tell me hes mentally present. the left picture isnt even timed to make him look like that. his expression is like that the entire time hes giving that line of dialogue.
and again, you can see visible eyebags!!!
i think part of it is that hes imagined the battle against the protagonist so many times since getting back from kitakami that it's feels like it's already happened to him, and he's just reliving a memory.
maybe another part is since hes gotten back, hes just been battling non stop when he has the chance. to him its just another battle. initiate, defeat, get stronger. rinse and repeat. its so repetitive that half the time he doesnt even know who hes battling. i feel like thats the case here, maybe sometimes he forgets hes even battling the person that he became this strong to defeat in the first place
i think why he did this to himself is because of more than "just getting stronger". after everything that happened in kitakami: gaining a friend, only for them to lie to and betray him about the thing he loves most, then for them to get closer with his sister, who would consistently shut him down, then on top of it all, ogerpon chose us, and even in trying to battle us for her, we beat him.
that is a lot to have happen to you in just a couple days, so i think part of the non stop training is him trying to cope. in trying to make up for "being too weak", hes also trying to escape reality and forget that those things even happened. he looks so out of it for the entire battle because he is. thats why he has such a reaction when we use ogerpon against him in battle. because by doing that, were reminding him
this is all part of why he freaks out so hard when we beat him. aside from his whole complex of getting stronger specifically to beat us, its because hes already imagined beating us so many times that to him, it already kinda happened in his sleep deprived mind. its because hes won battle after battle since getting back from kitakami, so after being in this rinse and repeat cycle of battling and winning, us losing causes him to finally snap out of it.
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after the protag wins, hes genuinely confused that he lost. but he knew how strong the protag was going into this. i think its because, for the majority of the battle, due to not being mentally present, he forgot he was battling us.
this, as well as how often he wouldve imagined him beating us, explains very well how surprised and shocked and panicked he is that he lost. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because it was just another battle, and he wins battles. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because he already imagined him beating us so many times that it had to have been real, right?
and because this monotonous cycle he was in that was actively draining him of energy was broken by us beating him, everything that he hadnt had the energy to process since training is hitting him like a truck now. ogerpon, the betrayal, how he kept losing to us, how he just lost to us right this moment, its all too much and he cant handle it. and so he crumples to the ground and has a mental breakdown
i didnt mean to turn this into a whole character analysis on kieran but i have a LOT of thoughts on his character and how hes written
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moonastro · 9 months
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pac
how your future spouse will act around you
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left to right(top)-> 1,2
left to right(bottom)-> 3,4
°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes.
°Don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post (as i would entirely appreciate it).
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PILE 1-
i definitely see them being more them around you, like they are going to be so comfortable around you that how they act around you differs from when they are around other people. I see them literally having no restrictions around you, they will not be afraid to show their true personality and humour. i feel like this will be so important to them because they might have been judged with the way that they acted or were judged by just being themselves by previous relationships or friendships, for you, they are thankful and can actually live freely.
They will definitely also learn so many things from you, for example i see you telling them something and them not understanding so they will bring that up because they want to know what you know. or they cannot stand not knowing what you mean because they fully want to understand you. yeah, they will love to get to know you on a deeper soulmate kinda way. they will love experiencing new surprises from you by simply learning new things about you, that will excite them.
i see them being the type of person who ask 'have you eaten yet?' or 'have you taken your vitamins today?'. your health will matter so much to them, seeing you unwell will physically hurt them. if you answer no to any of the questions they will automatically act upon them. they do care about your well-being however they might not be so cutesy about it because for them it is a serious matter. so they might act very serious about situations like that. but that's only because they care so much about you.
i feel like their character will develop while being with you. i feel like they might pick up on some habits or characteristics that you have. for example, if your habit consists of biting your bottom lip when nervous, they will acknowledge that and start to do that too.
your fs will NOT be afraid to express their raw feelings towards you. they will constantly praise and compliment you so much that you might get tired from hearing it loll😭.
that is it for you PILE 1, hope you enjoyed that!!
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PILE 2-
oh, they will be chaotic around you. they might tend to play fights, picking you up from the ground, teasing you etcc. however, i do think that playing around like that heals their inner child as such. they might also do questionable things that may shock you. like i see you two chilling and watching a movie and them randomly standing up and doing their skincare without mentioning anything.
they will constantly want to do everything with you, like their mindset is something like, if i have to see it you have to too, or if you go i want to go too. its mostly because they cant seem to imagine themselves being 5 minutes away from you 😂. no but for real, i honestly just feel like they find your time together precious and don't want to miss opportunities with you. they will be the type to take you on daily trips everywhere, like i mentioned before, they will love to spend time with you, especially while discovering new cute places.
i feel like same with pile 1, they will worry a lot about your health and constantly have to check up on you. like if sometimes you forget to eat breakfast or if they see a bruise that you didn't even know was there, they will freak out about it and will act like something major happened.
i see them being very honest around you, they will answer to your questions honestly and truthfully and i feel like if there are lies withing a relationship it is not sincere. i do see them being clingy though, like if they had a bad day and came back home they instantly hug and cuddle you to make them feel better. or if you are cleaning up they just come up to you and start hugging you.
that's everything for you PILE 2, hope you liked your reading!
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PILE 3-
will have a stable view and way of doing things around you. will be humble and professional. i feel like they will be a very down to earth person who is quite traditional in terms of relationships. they are very loyal to your needs however, they may have a little routine that they do every morning or any other time of the day, for example may take out the trash in the early morning so you wont have to and let you sleep in or something like that. i feel like silent acts of service are their thing. they might not like to be in the spotlight and keep a rather low profile wherever they are.
might be quite nosey lol, may want to know what you are doing at what time. or may want to know what you are looking at on your phone and so on.
may express their love to you often, like you make them levitate when they look at you. but may be shy about it. like they'll only do it when they cant keep it in anymore then blush after they say it🥹. they are someone who would proudly admire you and talk sweetly about you to other people rather than directly to you.
may like to spoil you though, may take you out to dinner every week or book to go to a fancy restaurant once in a while. or whenever you show them something that you like, they remember and buy you the exact same thing without asking you about it. i feel like they would definitely tend to show their love for you by doing things for you rather than talking about it and so forth.
they might be afraid to disappoint you and are afraid to fail. but they are very good at easing tension, so whenever you feel stressed they know how to make you feel better.
yeah, i don't think they are good at communicating or may limit themselves due to the fear of letting you down. however, they might not take it lightly when you expose them on what they did wrong, they might not be into being tutored.
that is all for you PILE 3!!
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PILE 4-
they tend to avoid direct confrontation. they definitely do not like conflict and will leave the situation if it gets heated. also, are very open to fix mistakes, they may ask about your opinion quite a lot and act upon your choices.
are very open to sharing their emotions and thoughts, they are not patient and may just say things that are on their mind. they may be an anxious human being and may seek help. they may like to talk about their mental health and ask your opinion of what to do about it to help. overall i think your opinion matters a lot to your fs!
they love sharing their ethic and moral beliefs to you. or they may be interested in getting to know about your beliefs. they also may be interested of your cultural background and may be eager to learn new languages and try different cultural foods. they may even like to listen to songs from other countries. they may also love to practise their traditions around you.
they may have difficulty concentrating and focusing so when they are told something they may be spaced out thinking about something else, you know?
they may also be the type of person who rejects offers easily, they may have social anxiety or anxiety in general so it may be difficult for them to leave the house. so that may start arguments between you two because you see the potential in them but they are just too afraid to persuade it and don't do anything about it.
that's it for you PILE 4!
I hope you all enjoyed this post❣️ please don't be shy to interact and share some of your thoughts on this post!!! thank you for reading💓
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darcylindbergh · 3 months
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I want all you vote blue no matter who folks to suffer just as much as all the disabled ppl you left on the wayside as soon as biden said the pandemic was over. All of you talk about solidarity but as someone disabled by covid its all so shallow. You are all so happy to stop masking and let covid keep killing. You cant even pretend its not true. 95% of dems stopped giving a fuck as soon as their guy said it was fine to. And every time i bring this up i get told i just gotta vote biden or other people will be in danger. Like me and those like me havent already been sacraficed by all of you. You all will have to live with that because i wont be alive much longer. Vote Blue! Vote Blue! Close your ears and vote blue because now YOU are afraid.
sure, we can deconstruct this one too.
this one's cleverer than ms terf because frankly a lot of disabled people DO feel abandoned vis a vis the pandemic and masking, and that's definitely something that needs to be addressed. but this anon is not addressing THAT - they want to address how i shouldn't vote blue.
here's a couple things we can pick out:
i've recently responded to posts about gaza and terfs, so this anon has simply picked a topic i haven't addressed yet like they're playing whack a mole
blames biden specifically for their topic of choice
pitches a you versus them division while explicitly attacking the idea that the left can express sufficient solidarity (implying it doesn't matter whether you vote)
specifically disparages voting for biden while scoffing at the idea that failing to do so will place other people in danger
make it personal while using inflammatory language: "i've already been sacrificed" "i wont be alive much longer"
mocks voting blue out of fear or out of the idea that failing to vote or failing to vote blue will result in a negative outcome
of course, not voting blue (either by splitting the vote, as in 2016, or not voting at all) will certainly not result in an improved outcome for disabled people. anon doesn't even pretend like there's a viable alternative that will improve life for disabled folks in the us.
failing to vote blue will just result in republicans in power - who are as a national platform anti-masking, anti-vaccinations, anti-obamacare, and anti-healthcare reform. so what we have here is someone who is using the disabled community as a cudgel to divide the left and discourage voting - because don't you know you specifically are a bad person for being against disabled people?
anyway here's a short list of things the biden administration has done over the last 4 years to improve the situation of millions of disabled folks in the us:
Biden's first 100 days re: disability reform
Biden admin recognizes long covid as disabling
Biden admin directs $200 million to programs supporting aging Americans and their caregivers (5 days ago)
HHS strengthened rule banning discrimination based on disability (May 1, 2024)
Dept of Education cancels student loan debt for over 300,000 disabled borrowers who cannot work (Aug 2021)
Biden admin seeks to end subminimum wage for disabled (and tipped) workers (2021) - Biden's DOL has been actively working on new regulations regarding disabled worker protections, although the recent decision ending Chevron deference by SCOTUS's conservative bloc will make it much more difficult.
there's definitely still more work to do - passing the marriage equality for disabled adults act, for example, and seeing through the end of subminimum wages - but republicans aren't gonna do it. these bills died in the republican-controlled house. voting blue down-ticket is the only way folks are gonna see any progress.
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sha-n-dowbannedlol · 6 months
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Wriothesley — the art of body language
cw: feat neuvillette, references to neuvi's story quest (sorry, i just finished it, loved it very much) other than that nothing rlly, just fluff
an: i cant believe i havent written anything for wrio yet??? thats unacceptable, considering i main him (and jing yuan too, all because ono daisuke voices them... jotaro brainrot goes crazy)
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It had come to Iudex Neuvillette's attention that there is still much he needs to learn about the enigma that are humans. Following his recent revelations as to his role in Fontaine and relationship with its citizens, he thought it'd be nice if he gets to know them better.
It hadn't escaped his knowledge that sometimes, things would fly over his head. Things said in jest, he ends up taking seriously before realizing at a later time that it was in good humor.
Sometimes, he doesn't realize that his silence had ended up causing the other party feel awkward, and even then, he doesn't know what to do or talk about when they do.
And so, he started by studying the little things. Their expressions, their body language—It had first came up in a conversation with the head nurse of the Fortress of Meropide, Sigewinne.
During one of her rare vacations where she visits the overworld and checks on the Chief Justice in worry that he may be overworking himself again.
Sigewinne talks about the things she has learned from observing the expressions from the workers in the Fortress, and with her observant gaze, she notices just how interested the Chief Justice seems even if from an outsider's point of view, he just looks like he's sporting the same, neutral expression.
At that, Sigewinne brought it upon herself to share the things that she has learned, but he can see the slight furrow on Neuvillette's brow, his fingers on his chin, deep in thought as he tries to picture out the expressions that she's describing.
Thinking to herself, the head nurse thinks of someone that she can describe well enough but also someone that Neuvillette knows fairly well to help him picture out what she's saying—and one person easily comes to mind.
"Take His Grace, for example." Sigewinne mentions, and the Iudex looks up with his eyes widening the slightest bit.
"Wriothesley?" He echoes.
"Yeah!" The melusine chirps happily, smiling widely at Neuvillette.
"If you show him that one human you always send from the Gardes, you can notice a few things from his body language that you wouldn't notice if you're not looking closely."
Which leads to the mentioned Duke now sitting in Neuvillette's office in Palais Mermonia, a tea cup in hand. After all, if Neuvillette were to learn, it'd be better if he sees it for himself, no?
Wriothesley was in the middle of his sentence when a knock reverberates in the room, coming from the door to the entrance to the office. Still holding onto his teacup, the Duke glances at the door, before looking back at the man before him, not surprised by the knock at the very least, as if he had been expecting it.
"Monsieur," Wriothesley spoke in his usual polite tone towards the Chief Justice, "Are we expecting someone else?"
His icy gaze are calculating as they meet Neuvillette's gaze, the Iudex shaking his head, sighing as he looks back to meet the man's calculating gaze.
"Pardon me, it's just some business. It'll be quick." Neuvillette apologizes politely, to which Wriothesley nods and shrugs, taking a sip from his tea cup. Taking that as his 'go ahead' signal, the judge turns his head to his office door and spoke.
"Please, come in."
Neuvillette was quick to glance at Wriothesley from the corner of his eyes as the door opens. And as you came into view, he notices the way the Duke's eyes widened slightly in surprise, quietly choking on his tea but managing to gather himself again in a split second.
"Chief Justice." You spoke in a formal, polite tone, eyes glued to the man who nods in return, before you eventually noticed the other person in the room.
Again, Neuvillette observes Wriothesley.
"Your Grace," You also greet the Chief Justice's guest politely.
True to Sigewinne's words, The Lord Incognito sat with his back a little straighter, his chest puffing out as he oh so gently puts his tea cup down on its saucer, his voice laced with a tad bit of warmth as he spoke your name in greeting.
"Is it a bad time?" You asked, eyes glancing over the tea cups laid on the table between the two men, "I'm sorry for interrupting your meeting."
But before Neuvillette could reassure you that you weren't at fault, and that it was all his for having called for you, Wriothesley was quick to respond.
"Nonsense," Wriothesley didn't even hesitate to reassure you that he doesn't mind, a small genuine smile gracing his lips. "We're just sharing some words over tea, would you like a cup?"
"Thank you, Your Grace. But I couldn't possibly." You respond as you take steps closer, closing the door behind you as you fully enter the office.
"I insist." Wriothesley hums, already reaching out for a third tea cup that has been conveniently brought out by Neuvillette despite the fact that there were only two of them.
You raise your hand, about to protest but was cut off by the Chief Justice, your boss himself.
"You're no strangers to each other, please do share a cup," Neuvillette spoke as he looked at you with a nod before standing up from his seat. "Excuse me while I look for the file that our latest convict needs—I seem to have mixed it with other files."
An obvious lie. The Chief Justice is a neat person, everything has a place and everything is in their rightful place, but neither of them questioned it as Neuvillette offers his seat to you before moving over towards his desk where the paperworks to process the latest criminal lay.
He took this opportunity to study the scene before him, as he pretends to shuffle papers here and there.
Diluted pupils. Eye contact. Mirroring your actions. A smile never leaving his face. Leaning on the table. And.... uh huh. That's the third time Wriothesley tried to fix his hair in the past five minutes.
Neuvillette blinks as he observes the way the Duke handles himself around your presence, and he is sure that if Wriothesley had a tail, it'd be wagging happily right about now.
Eventually, the Iudex returned to rejoin your small party. A small smile was plastered on both your and the Duke's faces as you engaged in your own little world, both pairs of eyes landing on him as he penetrated your little bubble.
"I've found it," He spoke in his usual neutral tone, and you gave him a nod.
The ever gentleman that he is, Neuvillette thought nothing of it as his hands moved with sophisticated grace, pulling your chair out for you and offering you his hand to help you stand. He was just being polite. And being used to his actions, you didn't hesitate to take his hand as you stood. But...
Ah.
Neuvillete can't help but notice Wriothesley's gaze fixated on your hand in his grasp, the smile on his face gone, just his pale, icy gaze staring a hole into the Chief Justice's fingers around your hand.
Tense. On guard. Almost reminiscent of a guard dog meeting a stranger and gauging whether they are a threat or not.
Interesting.
The man let go of your hand to give you the paperwork you had come for, giving you another nod, your gazes now locked with each other's.
"Here you go,"
"Thank you, Monseiur."
You receive the files, opening your mouth to bid your farewell to both men in the room when the sound of the chair sliding against the floor sounded, and both your attention snapped towards Wriothesley who was letting out a loud sigh.
"Ah, would you look at the time?" Wriothesley suddenly announces loudly, as if making sure both of their attentions are on him. "It's getting late."
Neuvillette's head subtly tilts to the side in curiosity at Wriothesley's sudden actions. Trying to figure out what has the man so tense, quietly thinking to himself.
Is this what they call envy? No, envy isn't precisely the correct term...
Ah. Jealousy. That's the term.
"I should get going. Thank you for this afternoon, Monsieur Neuvillette." The Duke spoke, approaching the both of you, snapping the said man out of his thoughts, who turned to face him.
"The pleasure was all mine. I'm grateful for your time as well," The Chief Justice responds,
"I'll be on my way as well," You spoke your farewells to your boss, and Neuvillette watched as Wriothesley turned to face you this time, speaking your name in a soft tone.
"You'll be escorting an inmate to the Fortress, no?" Wriothesley spoke with a slight hint of amusement in his voice, his eyes on you as you nodded to confirm his questions.
"I am, but I'd have to pick them up first." You respond as you turn to walk towards the exit, Wriothesley hot on your heels like a puppy happily following its owner
"I'll go with you, then."
"That might not be a good idea, Your Grace. They might get intimidated."
"Well, they'll just have to deal with it, won't they? They'll be seeing more of me in Fortress of Meropide; they should get used to it."
Neuvillette watched your exchange, the Duke opening the door for you, closing it behind him, and your voices became muffled. The Hydro Sovereign stands in place, placing a hand on his chin as he thinks.
"And what kind of emotion does Wriothesley portray when around them?" Neuvillette had asked Sigewinne after she happily detailed every minuscule movement that Wriothesley does consciously and unconsciously in your presence.
"That is what humans refer to as romantic love." Sigewinne beams up happily at him, and he nods, making sure to make an internal note of that.
"So that was love." Neuvillette nods to himself, eyes still glued to the door where you and Wriothesley exited. Funnily enough, Wriothesley wasn't the only one he ended up observing.
From his observations, he can quickly tell that you had the same body language as the Duke throughout your entire conversation, a stark contrast to your more rigid and mechanical body language when speaking to him.
That day, oh so casually, the Chief Justice confirmed and gave his judgment on both of you based on the observed facts.
"They're in love with each other." Neuvillette concluded.
"And neither of them know."
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i-cant-sing · 6 months
Note
IMAGINE THE KAMO CLAN WANTS AN ALLIANCE WITH THE ZENIN
so they offer that noritoshi (who is secretly in love with teen!fushiguro reader) marry her, the zenin and the kamo have made this type of alliance for years, it is totally normal for them
but definitely the kamo did not wait for naoya to come to his house shouting that no kamo spawn is going to sully his sweet daughter---- NIECE
when the others hear the news, toji, gojo, nanami, megumi, mai and maki arrive, ALSO SUKUNA WHO TOOK POSSESSION OF YUJI'S BODY
poor noritoshi
AHahaha yesss, I mean the elders just wanted to form an alliance, and neither clan really knew just how strong Fushiguro reader was as a toddler, so it was right to arrange a marriage for you.
As a child, Noritoshi didnt really care much for you, especially since he had battles of his own- being born to a mistress, being the heir of the clan because the head wife couldnt bear sons so, he has to deal with that.
But youre adorable and you grow on anyone, even the Zenin clan, so when toddler Fushiguro reader meets 9 year old Noritoshi, the latter only thinks of you as a spoiled brat at first. And why wouldnt he? Youre running around barefoot in the garden, dressed in sparkly pink hello kitty pjs with servants chasing after you, with Naoya screaming from the shed that he'll lock you up if he catches you grabbing his million dollar koi fish.
Noritoshi's disgust is quite understandable when you come upto him, hair disheveled, face sweaty, and you stick your muddy hand to his face.
"Hi! Im Y/n Fushiguro!" "ZENIN! Y/N ZENIN!" Naoya yells before dragging you away for training (Naoya didnt want you to meet your future husband).
As time goes on, Noritoshi would be sent to the Zenin estate on different errands (by this point, the Kamo clan has heard rumors of your powers and now want Noritoshi to go and woo you, which is a huge task since Noritoshi isnt someone who is able to express emotions, much less romantic ones). But even though he might not be able to express his emotions, doesnt mean his heart hasnt turned soft for you. Youre pollar opposite to him, loud, energetic, carefree- and yet Noritoshi cant help but feel that you... sort of complete him. Youre everything hes not and he likes that. Like 2 puzzle pieces that fit together, he completes you too. Hes quiet, calm, realistic- he brings peace to you, especially when youre mind gets overstimulated by- well, you.
How many times has it been that Noritoshi has stopped your panic attacks when you realised that your father Toji, wasnt coming back? How many times has Noristoshi had to pull you into his robes when your cursed energy started to lose control, risking himself just to calm you down and help you control it as his soft monotonous voice guided you through it?
And how many times has it been that Noritoshi would have his terrible day turned around with just you calling him "Nori!"? Or the times he'd be questioning his worth in the clan and all he needed was you to lean your head against his shoulder to feel like a million bucks? Noritoshi would be the type of man who people would think doesnt really care about love and marriage, when in reality, he just spent the entire night listening to you yap about your day, about Hello Kitty, about uncle Naoya, pausing in between to say "hmm, okay its getting late, we should sleep" only to suddenly remember a new topic to ramble on about. And youd think Noritoshi wanst listenting to you with the way hes staring at your face in awe, but really- he remembers every single word. You could quiz him. Its funny listening to man like him talk about Hello Kitty.
When the time comes for you two to actually get married, Naoya throws a fit, and surprisingly, the Zenin clan also doesnt want to marry you off to Kamo clan (or anyone). People opposing the marriage from your side would be the Zenin clan, the twins (who start telling you all the reasons why marriage is a trap and youd be dead in 2 days.), Gojo (he just chuckles and tells you not to worry because he wont let you be forced into marriage), Nanami (my man wholeheartedly believes youre being a victim of child marriage, BUT NOT ON HIS WATCH! GONNA KILL ANYONE WHO EVEN THINKS OF U LIKE THAT- just sit in his condo and eat the sandwhich he made for you. And dont argue.), Megumi (who doenst get why he wasnt ever informed that you, his baby sister, was in an arranged marriage, and why the hell didnt Noritoshi try to get his blessings/permission considering THAT HES YOUR CLOSEST FAMILY MEMBER??? Also, no- youre not marrying Kamo) and then... theres Sukuna (if you thought Naoya threw a fit, youre in for A WORLD OF TANTRUMS AS SUKUNA SCREAMS AND MOST LIKELY KILLS WHOEVER IS IN A MILE VICINITY, just to let off some steam and calm down before he talks to you and REMINDS YOU THAT YOU PROMISED TO MARRY HIM! HAVE YOU BEEN PROPOSING TO EVERY GUY YOU MET?)
People supporting this union would be all from Noritishi's side, including- the Kamo clan, Choso Kamo (cause ofc, youre just a precious baby like Yuji, and with you being part of the clan means he can protect u better), and surprise surprise Kenjaku (because youd be strong addition to the clan and then you and Nori will have babies with SUPER STRONG CURSED ENERGY AND HE'LL ACCOMPLISH HIS PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION).
Anyways, its a sticky situation and it all comes down to you really. Do you want to marry Noritoshi or not?
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levilxvr · 10 months
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levi nsfw alphabet🤭
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a/n: this post is way longer than i expected lol
female reader btw
A - Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
aftercare is extremely important to levi. It’s a way of assuring you that you’re loved, as well as ensuring you’re ok and not hurt.
Will spend time to make you a cup of his favourite tea, take a warm, damp cloth to wipe both of you up and then lay back down beside you to cuddle<3
B - Body part (their favorite body part of theirs/ their partner’s)
levi loves your hands. Partly because its the easiest part of you to access especially when you’re with other people. He can hold them, caress them, play with them and kiss them- overall he just loves your hands a lot.
When you’re alone with him though, he loves your waist. He’ll run his hands along your sides and soak in the feeling of your curves under his palms, especially when hes spooning you.
C - Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
if you’re comfortable with it he loves cumming inside you,. there’s something about the way your pussy looks as his cum is dripping out that turns him on even more
If you’d rather he do it outside, he’ll probably shoot his load on your stomach or clit
D - Dirty secret
ok hear me out the first thing that comes to my mind when i look at levi is panty sniffer. Like you cant tell me he doesn’t love doing that😭
Especially when he’s helping you do the laundry- of course he’ll never admit it but sometimes he just, you know..like if it’s there he’ll take the opportunity. Kinda just stands there with the rest of the laundry pile in his other hand, letting his thoughts wander as he breaths in your scent.
E - Experience (how experienced are they?)
when he first met you this man had zero experience when it comes to sex. I mean, he’s busy with the scouts and all his other duties and probably never had time to think about how its actually done yk
The first time you and him got down to business he was kinda shy since he wasn’t really confident, but it all worked out in the end- he knows how it goes but just wasn’t sure how to make you feel good too. Over the years, his performance improved a lot and now he’s a complete freak in the sheets :) (i can confirm)
F - Favorite position
missionary is the way to go
he loves being able to see your face while he’s making love to you and can easily communicate with you while doing it. He also finds it the most comfortable for both of you (which is important)
he likes cowgirl too when he’s feeling more subby
G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
i’d say he’s more serious while having sex, but not in a bad way- its more of like, soft and romantic to him and he tends to be more sappy and all when you’re doing it. But he does giggle occasionally when he’s pillow talking with you after, cuz he’s happy to be with you and feels okay to show his vulnerable side <3
H- Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
levi takes grooming very seriously and always makes sure he’s nice and clean. Sometimes he’ll let it grow out a little more but he always ensures that at the very least it’s neatly trimmed and not all over the place. I feel like he wouldn’t shave it all off completely though because he hates the prickly feeling after that
Has a nice happy trail too (yummy)
I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
very romantic and soft. when it comes to sex, levi likes to keep it intimate and special. it’s a time for him to express his love for you and show you how much he treasures you, so he’ll be whispering praises, kissing you gently and telling you what he loves about you while doing it.
J - Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
normally he doesn’t masturbate unless you’re away from him for more than a week
usually he can control himself pretty well but once he reaches his limit, thats it. His hands are in his pants while he imagines it’s your pussy around his cock, jerking himself off to the thought of you. (Be prepared cuz when you reunite with him he’s getting down to it straight away)
it doesn’t satisfy him as much though, and he finds himself cumming lesser than when he’s with you
K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)
praise kink! he’ll never admit it but when you whisper in his ear, telling him how good he’s doing or how amazing he’s making you feel, it drives him insane. He just loves hearing words of reassurance from you <3
breeding kink as well. Especially post war, when you finally settle down with him and tell him you’re ready to start a family. lord he’s cumming inside you every night- and if any of it leaks out of your pussy he’s fucking it right back in. Also enjoys watching it ooze out though, bc then he knows he did a good job stuffing you full with his cum.
L - Location (favorite places to do the do)
bedroom for maximum comfort. its his favourite place to do it but if he’s working overtime in the office and you pay him a visit, be prepared cuz he’s probably gonna end up fucking you on the desk.
He likes to do it in the shower too for easy clean up
M - Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
levi seeing you wearing his clothes is a huge turn on. like especially when you’re in one of his oversized shirts wearing nothing underneath but a pair of panties- it’s like heaven right in front of him
french kisses also get him horny, actually. He can’t help it but every time you’re kissing and it turns really heated and passionate he feels himself hardening in his pants.
N - No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
he doesn’t like impact play. Be it spanking, hitting, going too rough to the point where it hurts, he’s not a fan of it.
other than that he’s honestly pretty open to trying new things if you want (but of course, he has limits)
O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
overall levi prefers giving, but wouldn’t mind if you want to suck him off too. He just loves eating you out though, you taste so good every single time and enjoys it when your hands are tugging his hair while he licks you up.
He’s really good with his mouth like man just knows exactly where to suck to make you cum in minutes.
When he’s receiving he likes to sit back with a hand behind his head, enjoying the sight of your lips wrapped around his cock, occasionally bucking his hips to gently fuck your mouth.
P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
it goes both ways tbh. generally if you’re just having sex for fun because one of yall are horny he can be pretty rough and fast. He loves hearing you scream his name as he pounds you against the bed or table, and you both get the best orgasms when he does it rough.
on certain days he tends to be softer and gentler with you, though. for instance when you return from an expedition or when the mood is just more romantic and intimate. Sometimes he likes to take his time pleasuring you, demonstrating how much he adores you as he carefully slides in and out. He can be really slow and sensual- just depends on the mood.
Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
given his job, quickies tend to be quite a frequent occurrence in your relationship. Of course, levi prefers to do the whole thing nice and slow as much as possible, but sometimes he just can control himself and you end up indulging in a short session. Usually it happens in his office or the barracks.
R - Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks?)
experiment wise i feel like this man is really traditional and would prefer to just you know go with the flow. He isn’t really into trying out new things unless you really want to
levi loves taking risks though. Not anything that dangerous but sometimes he likes fucking you with his fingers under the table in a meeting, or doing it in semi public areas where other cadets could catch yall. it’s the thrill of it that turns him on even more.
also loves to test his pullout game smh. of course, you trust him and his reflexes but once you were both drunk and he nearly came inside you with no contraceptives on accident lmaoo
S - Stamina
lord.
he can basically last like 8-10 rounds at a time if you’re able to hold up that long. He’s got really good stamina. But if you’re really fucked out after a few rounds he’s totally okay with it :)
T - Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
he doesnt really like them tbh, i can see him not really understanding the point of em- like why use toys when his cock and fingers exist? So no he doesn’t own any but would be quite intrigued if you have any and show him how to use them (hes a visual learner)
U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)
teases you A LOT. 
Will talk dirty beside you while you’re in a public setting with your friends around, caress your thigh, kiss your earlobe etc. and then walk away like nothing happened
in bed- before he even enters you there’s a moment where he just has to rub his cockhead against your clit for a little while, occasionally brushing against your folds as well until you’re begging him to just put it in.
V - Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Hm i imagine he’s pretty quiet tbh
levi looks like the kind that doesn’t wanna be too loud cuz he’s a little shy, but occasionally he lets out a few groans and breathy noises as he’s fucking you. He doesn’t talk a lot during sex as well so usually it’s just little curses between soft moans
Gets louder when he’s close and starts panting with every thrust he makes. That’s how you can tell he’s gonna cum soon, and eventually when he does, he goes silent for a second because it feels so good he can’t even vocalise it.
W - Wild card (a random headcanon)
levi’s a little insecure about his size sometimes. You always reassure him that’s it’s perfect- cuz honestly it’s a decent length but sometimes he’s just worried he doesn’t please you well enough. It definitely does though, and you make sure to prove it to him whenever you do the deed.
X - X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
realistically i’d say hes a solid 5.5 inches, cut, slight curve up at a nice angle, base colour #C4A484, tip is #FFB6C1 but turns darker when aroused. Also got a nice little vein running down the right side🤗
He’s more on the girthy side as well when he gets hard
Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
it wasn’t high before he met you, on a scale of one to ten probably like 2 tbh
once he met you and actually had sex for the first time though..it sort of awoke something in him and now he can’t go more than a few days without releasing. His sex drive gets especially high on days when you get to go out for fancy dinners with the rest of the cadets. Seeing you in those tight fitting dresses always turns him on so much.
Z - Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
will never let himself fall asleep before you do. No matter how sleepy he is, aftercare always comes first and he makes sure you’re both cleaned up and comfortable before he gives in to sleep
Usually you guys pillow talk for a while before he begins to get sleepy but if you had a particularly rough session he can fall asleep the moment his head hits the pillow.
the end <3
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poppy-metal · 3 months
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CREEP SEASON FINALÉ
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MWAHAHAHAHHA
patrick ends up threatening birdie - to no one's suprise - surprisingly, he isn't as mean as he could've been - or even as much as he planned to be. you had this kind of pathetic aura to you. a kind of wide doe eyed startled expression when you saw him. it was clear you'd dolled yourself up - or at least attempted to. your eyeliner was wobbly. your lipgloss too tacky. your hair was a hackjob, but it could be interpreted as stylish, he guessed. didn't dress too shabby, either.
all in all you were cute. for a stalker, anyway.
"you know." was the first thing he said, looking you up and down from where he leaned against the gym building. "if you'd just approached art like this normally, I'd give you at least a 50/50 shot."
you looked down at your shoes. he could tell you wanted to bolt, but you knew you were caught. his fate was in your hands.
"you're kind of a fucking freak, you know that?"
you didn't answer and patrick felt a spark of irritation. all that shit you spouted about art being your god, about wanting to live in his skin and fucking have his babies, and here you were, shy as a lamb. couldn't even look him in the eye and own up to what a pervert you were.
"i bet you do." he took his hands out of his hoodie pockets and approached you. you backed away as he did, but he followed and it wasn't long before he had you pressed against the brick wall. looking up at him with big worried eyes. like you were the victim, here. "really - you're not half bad to look at. I'd fuck you."
you flinched at the words. worried your bottom lip between your teeth and shook your head. but that was all, still not a word. it was really starting to piss him the fuck off.
"is that what it was all about?" he placed a hand at your waist - felt the muscles in your body jump at the contact but he pressed in close. pinned you. "you need some dick?"
he skated his hand up your body - to the swell of your breast - felt himself get hard, despite it all, because fuck, you really were cute. he hadn't gotten laid since he landed.
"maybe i should see what this pussies all about. you put coke up there or something? got poor artie fucking hooked on some shit he hasn't even tested yet." he squeezed your tit, painfully. enough to make you jump. it wasn't meant to feel good and he leered at the whine you let out. pinched your nipple between his fingers meanly. "got yourself real nice and pretty, huh? what kind of friend would i be if i didn't test the goods first -"
"no!"
it burst from your chest. somehow loud and quiet all at once - your hand came up to strike him, but patrick caught it easily. stepping back and squeezing your wrist so hard you whimpered. "d - dont touch me." you gasped, jerking your hand back. cradling it to your chest - you felt sick. sick to your stomach. you wanted to scream for help but knew how ridiculous that'd be considering what led you here. you were trapped.
patrick glared at you.
"you're going to write art one more letter." he said. your eyes widened. "you're going to tell him it was all a game - that you never meant it to get this far - tell him you never meant anything you said. that it was all lies to mess with his head. that it was supposed to be fun but its not anymore and you're ending it."
you stared at him in shock. the cool night air made strands of your hair float in front of your face like tendrils of doom and you imagined choking on them until you died.
"i cant -" you said. "it wasn't a game. I love -"
"you're sick. you dont know what love is." at this patricks eyes seemed to soften. with pity. your gut churned. "and you can. you dont have a choice."
you didn't like his tone. didn't like the finality of it.
"because i took pictures of everything i saw - the letters - the messages - all of it. its right here -" he pulled a hardrive out of his jeans pocket. "and if you dont do what i say, this is all going to the police."
you closed your eyes. felt a cold calm sense of dread settle over your heart.
"i dont care." you said pitifully, eyes pricking with tears. "turn me in - i dont care. i cant lie to him."
patrick sighed.
"i was afraid you'd say that. which is why im telling you - if you do this - I'll give you updates. on art and how hes doing. if you're in prison - you'll never hear from him or about him again. which of those options sounds better to you?"
you didn’t even have to think about it.
"I'll write the letter."
patrick smiled.
"i knew you would."
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the letter comes the next day. It's waiting for art in his dorm room, slid under the small gap - he nearly drops his phone in his rush to pick it up and read it. he's meant to be meeting patrick for lunch - but he can cancel - will cancel a million lunches if it means he hears from you again - gets to read your words - gets to talk to you - he hopes after he reads you'll answer his texts. let him call you. anything.
his eyes scan the inked words on the page and the eager smile on his face slips slowly - his bag drops from his limp hand. he finishes the letter. sits on his bed and stares blankly at nothing for a long time.
something in his chest breaks. in his mind too. he can feel the crack frissure and then the shattering of it. like glass. he tastes blood in his mouth and realizes he's been biting his lip hard enough to make it bleed. he rubs the red stain from his mouth and numbly stares at it. he thinks 'i want her to die for this.'
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Mars Aspects, how you like to WIN
if you win,i dont win so i gotta turn my loss into yours, becsuse we can't all be winners. i didnt change my mind, just chose a better outcome, whats your choice?
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Mars aspecting sun - winning at all costs, they appear like a winner, but the means and ways they go about it are so in your face, you become impressed but simultaneoulsy concerned. but thats what gets them off. they turn the expression show dont tell, into show and tell everybody. which gives them more enemies, but also makes em more fierce. also flambouyant just to throw their enemies off lol. mars aspecting moon - they like to win behind closed doors. they want you to belive in them, simply becsuse they believe in you. its what gets them emotionally secure i guess. the security of winning. but its just confusing becsuse for example we watching tv on da couch, and your trynna pull a funny. sit down we still love you we just tired. but if you put them in there place expect a tantrum. mars aspecting mercury - basically death note. intellectual competitors/debators always playing the chess game of anything; "whats the best move here" also super entertainign speakers, can talk super fast and aggressively. also very into learning, they want to dominate the intellectual sphere. they wanna argue with everyone but no one wanna bite back lol. also > can't catch deez hands
mars aspecting venus - agrresively charming. there charisma just exudes from there aura naturally, people just laugh at these guys so easily, because they just are likeable with it. also people love it when they are angry, they just fall for em harder. but they dont like to get angry becsuse theyd rather just be charming mars aspecting jupiter - so much movement, they move like the "wacky waving inflatable arm tube man" - family guy. but seriously the way they move peopple just cant believe they move like dat, they move so strangely but hypnotically. also so much energy these guys can do a million sets in da gym and eat the whole fridge. they just got way too much energy and it shows... they also just get really lucky w competition, victory just lands in their lap lol. mars aspecting saturn - these guys are always striving to be da best at whatevrr there mind is set on. if they gotta goal, then whatsver is obstructing there path better move or they gonna trample all over it/ya. kinda intimidating. but this usually sets them back, but in the end only makes them stronger/ more fierce. because to them the fear people have of them is also getting in there way lmao. unless it works to there favour... basically control freaks and they only care about their agenda, but will pretend to have your interests in mind, just to get there ends. mars aspecting uranus - these guys are the true psychopathic freaks, everyone i know with this aspect is sadistic and also enjoys getting hit. people stay away from them, because they know they just wanna hit them lol. even when they acting nice, after like a week they show their crazy psychotic side, and everyones like yeahhhhh idk about you. but they dont mean harm they just view violence as intriguing i guess.... they like to win by fighting everyone and anyone lmao, but its play fighting, unless you try them... they really are the psychopaths; extremely calculated and precise with there attacks. they think they doing you a favour by attacking you lol. mars aspecting neptune - idk why but they always getting sexualized, probs because they are an easy target, and there submissiveness gets people going like "i can hurt them and they will literally just apoliogize :D" i feel bad for these lot, but there forgiveness really does shine through, i guess they dominate through submission... go figure. they like to win you over with their pure hearts <3 mars aspecting pluto - they literally do nothing and everyone is intimidated lmao. you can just tell these guys will not just kill you but torture you and enjoy it lol. thats why they always acting like they are not a threat, because they are begging for someone to challenge them, but they are so bad at acting innocent, everyone can tell they are a wolf in sheeps clothing. its all or nothing with them. but they choose their prey very carefully... they like to win at all costs no matta the price.
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eustasskidagenda · 11 months
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omg hi hi! i adore your writing so much :3! if its alright with you, could i get headcanons for how crocodile, law, kid, and ace would be with an autistic s/o who loves to infodump, but is nervous to do so. theres always this odd bit of shame that accompanies infodumping for me because i get so excited i cant properly articulate myself *lays down* its just a mess of stimming, stuttering, and laughing at my own jokes. i feel embarrassed after, even if its totally an illogical response. im unsure if you write for autistic y/n so feel free to ignore this if you dont. thank you so much <33
☆Crocodile, Law, Kid & Ace with an autistic s/o who loves to info dump 
Hello, dear anon! I'm not used to write autistic y/n, because I don't know enough about this and I wouldn't like to be harmful. However, the situation you're describing is something close to ADHD, which I know well. So I've made some additional researches to be sure and come up with something, I hope you will like it. Thank you for your request, it was a sweet one ♡
CW : g/n reader, slight curses for Kid, fluff 
WC : Around 1,500 words
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Crocodile 
Crocodile doesn't talk much, he's always serious and quiet. It's just that he's often thinking about his business and plans. But he's a good observer and would immediately notice if you want to say something but are too nervous to do it. He knows you perfectly, so he would recognize the way you're fidgeting.
He's a man with good manners, so his first reflex would be to lock the door and make sure no one can enter and destabilize you. When it's done, he will point his chair towards you.
"Sit. I'm listening, y/n." 
Actually, he likes hearing you speak during hours. He knows it's a way to express your love and feelings. He's flattered that you want to share your world with him. Go ahead and speak, he will listen. Even if he's just nodding or commenting short sentences in response, he has a good memory and will remember everything you said to him. 
If you're talking too fast and start to get really flustered, he will let you know that you're speaking too fast, like 'y/n, what did you just say?' 
Your hyper-focus and info-dumping are appreciated by Crocodile because he enjoys learning new things and you're a source of knowledge. Maybe he's impassive and struggles to express his feelings, but sometimes you will hear him talk about what he learned with you, so clearly he listened to every single word. 
"Don't be ashamed, it was interesting. Can we talk more about this specific point?" 
If you say something that he is really curious about, he has no shame asking for more. It's a way for him to express his genuine care for you. For him, it's a way to prove to you that even though he's always quiet, he cares.
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Law
Law is similar to Crocodile in his lack of emotional expression and limited speech. He is always busy, struggling with his parasitic thoughts and taking care of his patients. Finding some private time with you is a challenge for him. 
If you run into Law with excitement about your passion or new hyper-focus, he may feel embarrassed because it's not the perfect time for him. Autism is something he knows about, and he is an intelligent and educated man. And, he wants to make you feel safe and comfortable. 
"I'll be yours in a moment, y/n-ya."
He has a complete understanding of you and is an excellent observer. The way you're already blushing, fidgeting, and swallowing nervously. He can even hear your heart racing. So first thing first, he will tell you to take a deep breath. After all, he’s a doctor. 
"What do you wanna talk about?" 
As Crocodile, he's a great listener. When you're full of passion and excitement, he thinks you're cute. He likes the sound of your voice. He loves when you want to find him and talk about your passion, because you're offering him a break from his work. If you weren't there, he would be stuck either in work or in his own head. When he's with you, he can forget about his dream of avenging. You're his safe place, truly. 
He doesn't speak a lot. But he is listening.M and asks questions from time to time.
"Yn-ya, there's been no urge. Take your time." And if you're stuttering a lot, he would just say nothing because it's pointless to make a remark, as long as he can understand what you're saying, he will never say something about your elocution. 
"That's interesting, where did you learn that much?" 
Law is a curious and intelligent man, so he likes to learn more about almost everything. If it can help him with his plans or maybe his patients, it might even be beneficial for him.
During your bedtime together, he would ask you to talk about your passions. The way you talk and laugh is like his own lullaby. When you speak, he can find inner peace because it shuts down all the voices in his head. He might fall asleep sometimes when he feels tired. It's just that you're providing him with some relief. When he wakes up, he would be deeply sorry. "So, yesterday, you stopped at this precise point… what were you trying to say after?"
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Kid 
Kid is so goddamn loud. And really passionate. He's focused on his goal of becoming the next PK and has loved mechanics and robotics since childhood. He would be aggressively sweet, like frowning when he notices how stressed and nervous you act towards him. "Hey, Y/N, why are you so fucking nervous? Just speak" 
He thinks you're cute with your cheeks all red. On the flip side, he's a bit confused. Why are you nervous? Is it his fault? He knows he's loud, hard to love and rough, but he cares about people he likes. Have you seen how he acts with Killer and his crew? He loves his people. 
And, as a punk, Kid is marginalized. He knows a lot about being different, and if you feel ashamed about it, he can understand. "Come on y/n, let's find a private place" 
Grab your wrist in an aggressive yet sweet way and lead you to his workshop or bedroom. He sits you on the bed with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised. "Now we're alone." 
So, you start talking nervously. It doesn't matter if the topic is interesting to him or not, he will listen. Because as I said, Kid is a passionate. Everything can be made interesting by passionate people. So, yeah, talk about birds, cakes, plushies, or anything stuck in your head. He will like it. And he enjoys the sound of your voice. He’s even flattered to be your special someone, the one you’re looking for when you need to talk. It fuels his ego and pride.
He will deal with your stuttering as he deals with Killer's laugh. He'll shut up and smash all the people making fun of you if there's something you hate about yourself. You're his s/o, no one can laugh at you and continue to live without facing his rage.
"Goddamn, slow down" yes, not the best with kindness, but at least he's paying attention. 
He wouldn't help but think you're really cute, with your eyes shining as you finally manage to relax and express how passionate you are. He understands your excitement because when he talks about robots, music, punk or weapons, he's exactly the same. 
Kid is not the most culturally advanced, it depends on the topic. He enjoys learning new things thanks to you or Killer, it's important for him to be credible, and he hates looking inferior in front of others. 
"See, there was no reason to be that nervous" When you finished speaking.
Just poke your cheek, grin and leave a mark of lipstick on your front-head before returning to his activities and yelling proudly to everyone he knows everything about the subject you just info-dump about.
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Ace
The sweetest. Ace's personality is both compassionate and protective. He grew up with Luffy, so passionate and talkative people are something he knows a lot about. As he's proud of his brother, he's proud of you and can listen to everything you say for hours. 
"Y/N, is there something wrong?" 
Yeah, he would immediately notice that you're starting to get nervous. His first reflex is to find a more private place, if that's not already the case. He wants to do everything to make you feel safe and loved. If it's winter or just cold, he would even use his DF to warm the room. As soon as you're all comfortable, he'll run his fingers through your hair. "You know I will always listen." 
Ace doesn't speak a lot about what's on his mind. He's way too stubborn and always struggles with guilt due to the blood running through his veins. So he enjoys having someone like you. Your voice is soothing him, and he loves how passionate and honest you are always. 
For him, it's even amazing and unreal to have someone talk to him. You're treating him like a normal human and not a failure, because he feels like it often: unloved, unwanted and unworthy.
"Sweetie, you don't have to rush, we have the time, I'll always listen" if you start to speak too fast.
Would entwine his fingers with yours when you're stuttering and laugh heartily at your jokes. You remind him of his dear little brother. He feels lucky to have you by his side. 
"I could listen for hours." And he's totally honest.
If someone makes fun of you, he's truly mad. You are as significant to him as his brother or Whitebeard. And if someone makes fun of his loved-one, Ace is merciless and really impulsive.
"Please, say more about this specific point!", "Oh, really, that's so funny?" He wants to make you talk even more. Until you're finally relaxed and able to speak without stuttering, blushing, or anything else. He doesn't mind it, even if it lasts for hours. Once you're done, he has his usual sweet smile on his face. "That was so interesting, why are you so embarrassed?" 
So you explain to him that you feel embarrassed about your info dump because you're afraid to annoy people or talk too fast etc." It's alright, you won't bother me." 
You're his sunshine. He feels loved with you. He feels more than just the son of someone; he's just Ace, and that's the most beautiful thing in the world for him.
Such a sweet boy. ♡
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