#i feel like it's a moot point trying to make genuine connections at this point. i keep thinking this is it. i've finally cracked the code

[humbleanger]

.

[eldrith]

omg heyyyyy guys!!! <3 tldr for those of you who aren't the stupid cunt still spewing shit in inboxes: thanks for being kind & supportive and fucking normal. appreciate you beyond words, genuinely. my inbox is always open to you.

but to whom it may concern,

i am so fucking serious when i say that you, anon, need to grow up and start talking to real life humans for once in your life.

this isn't a joke. i'm so so so fucking embarrassed for this imbecile who stalks mutuals and any writer or account with decency in this fandom. you're so embarrassing. you are so clearly out of touch, there is something so clearly wrong in your tiny little pebble brain. it's a miracle you can even type words onto a screen because you're so inconceivably obtuse. (btw, you may need to reel in the extent of your lexicon - if you know what that is - for some of the things im about to say)

not only are you so impossibly, functionally incapable when it comes to media literacy - sorry, literacy at all - but you actively seek out to make incorrect points and its so troublesome... you need to learn context, subtext, implicit bias, nuance - honestly, grab a dictionary and look up what the term 'critical thinking' means too. you are SEVERELY lacking. you are deficient in communication and even worse with inference. i could laugh, and i have before.

despite the fact that this is all fictional - the truth is that we are all just people on here who enjoy writing or maybe enjoy a character from a fictional show that isn't even about romance in the first place.

anyways, i digress: the truth is that every single one of my friends on here has gotten this person's weird fucking obsessive comments in their inbox and as pathetic as this person is, i will say this directly to them: you treat writers or other blogs like some sort of sad therapy and you're being embarrassing.

i'm embarrassed when i see the cringey, out of touch shit you say. you act like a minor. i genuinely think you are one. you act like someone who has never had a personal relationship, let alone conversation. i don't think you've had an emotional connection ever. you act like a fucking baby who just crawled out of a sewer to see light for the first time in your life. it's so fucking sad. i would never care enough to say i feel bad for you, but i feel bad for anyone who has ever interacted with you, myself included.

it's so astounding to have to say this, but: WRITERS AND BLOGGERS ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. WE ARE NOT A HOTLINE FOR YOU. here, you’re so stupid you probably didn’t catch that: WE ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. YOU ARE BEING A FUCKING CHILD.

i beg you - i implore you to fucking block me, to block all of my mutuals who you come to whining in their inboxes, because NONE OF US FUCKING CARE what you have to say. pick up a book. talk to a man irl. ask someone how their day is and try to use empathy for once.

anyways, i love every single person on here who takes the time to be kind, or funny, or care. i love all my writers, all of my friends on here, moots or not - sorry to say this but im tired of pretending that i'm nice to childish pathetic cunts. lol

[batwingsandblackcats]

Been thinking a lot about Laudna, Imogen, Delilah and Ludinus today.

Particularly the fact that Dani pointed out that Delilah is the only one who has said that separating her from Laudna would kill Laudna.

I’m real tired and this is maybe a little half baked but if I’m remembering correctly, Delilah really only started saying this in the context of other people. As far as we know, Laudna never contemplated the possibility of getting rid of Delilah before meeting Imogen and then the Hells, so this conversation was a moot point until the last couple years in-game.

But the thing I find really interesting about all of this is that Delilah tends to bring up the “if I die, she dies” thing to Imogen specifically, or to Imogen and Laudna as a unit, or to one of them in the context of the other, and I feel like that says something very interesting about the way Delilah views/expresses love and agency.

I think Delilah fundamentally misunderstands two very important things:

1. Delilah fundamentally misunderstands how Imogen loves.

Delilah went to extreme lengths to bring Sylas back after he died, and while he was apparently fine with that, she didn��t actually ask him. Unless there’s some unreleased lore somewhere where she and Sylas discussed things before he died, she didn’t actually get consent from him.

I think Delilah is banking on Imogen behaving the way she did when she lost Sylas. I think she’s either expecting that Imogen would go to extreme lengths to bring Laudna back, by force if necessary, or she’s expecting Imogen to not want to risk it in the first place. At this point in time I think it’s the latter, considering the context of the upcoming ritual. I’m sure she knows by now that Imogen desperately wants Delilah and Laudna separated, but I think Delilah is banking on the possibility of losing Laudna being enough of a deterrent for Imogen to keep her from actually trying.

Delilah was only there for the part where Imogen said she would do anything to get Laudna back, she wasn’t there when Imogen gave Laudna the choice to stay dead if she really wanted to. Delilah doesn’t seem to understand that Imogen will do anything for Laudna, including let her go if that would truly bring Laudna peace, even if that would destroy Imogen.

2. Delilah fundamentally cannot fathom Laudna having agency.

Obviously, Delilah views herself as above Laudna, and better than Laudna in every way. Before Laudna died, Delilah more than likely viewed her as a poor, uneducated girl with very narrow options in life, and after Laudna died, as a dead woman trying to and often unable to make ends meet, make connections, or get ahead in life at all.

The events of Laudna's life have not afforded her much in the way of agency, even in the parts where Delilah wasn't present.

But, Laudna still had this spark of potential, so Delilah pounced.

The whole toxic/abusive relationship thing has been discussed in the context of these two before for obvious reasons. Delilah took advantage of a woman with few options in life and has spent the last 30 years keeping Laudna in a mindset of low self worth to make sure she stayed pliable and usable in that way.

One thing about all of this though, and I've seen one person mention this, but it's not that widely discussed, is that Delilah has also been alone with Laudna for 30 years. She has also been deeply isolated for 30 years. And I think that's warped her perspective a little.

I don't think Delilah has ever lost sight of the fact that Laudna has this untapped potential, she's said on multiple occasions that she wants to do terrible and beautiful things with Laudna. But on some level, I wonder if she, in her extreme, extended isolation and single-minded determination to come back via Laudna, has done the thing where the abuser inadvertently succeeds in gaslighting themselves into genuinely believing that the person they are abusing will be completely non-functional without them.

I wonder if Delilah is playing a game of chance here, trying to scare Laudna and her friends enough so they won't try to get rid of her, or if she genuinely believes that Laudna literally can't live without her.

Delilah hasn't seemed terribly threatened by that fact that Imogen and the Hells have repeatedly encouraged Laudna's agency and expressed to her over and over again that she is powerful on her own, that she doesn't need Delilah. Delilah has definitely reinforced the opposite, but that's more like...maintenance. Routine degradation to keep Laudna down.

Aside from the occasional poke after Laudna has a conversation about all of this with Imogen or one of the Hells, I don't think Delilah sees a need to really go all out in counteracting specific bits of growth on Laudna's part. I think that she believes that Laudna is too far gone for any encouragement to stick.

I think Delilah only brings up the "if I die, she dies" in the context of other people, because she thinks that's the only time it matters. To Delilah, Laudna doesn't have any agency, so why would she have any kind of opinion on this?

And here's where this intersects with Ludinus.

I couldn't figure out why I believed Ludinus when he said, rather dismissively, that he could totally separate Laudna and Delilah without killing Laudna, but it hit me when I was in the shower, of all places.

Ludinus spent that conversation switching between talking to the Hells, and talking to Delilah directly. He knows her, they were in the Assembly together, and they weren't exactly friends. Ludinus doesn't have friends.

Ludinus is smart. He knows he's smart. He also has an ego the size of Exandria and he is deeply invested in his own intelligence. The man is trying to kill the gods to make a point.

Ludinus might be totally fine with mass manipulation and subterfuge on a large scale (the various lies he sowed to get people to join the Vanguard, etc) but that is, in many ways, detached from him. It's a means to an end, it gets the job done. But in one on one conversations, when he talks to the Hells, he's very open, seemingly honest. This reminds me of something Brennan said in a Worlds Beyond Number talkback episode recently about the persuasiveness of openness, how honesty can make peoples' guards come down.

Genuinely, I don't think he sees any reason to lie to the Hells because he is so steadfastly sure that his view is The Correct View, and the sheep just need to be lead to pasture and then They'll See.

But also, Delilah was present when he said that it wouldn't be a problem to separate her from Laudna, so that Laudna could go on and live a life free of Delilah.

Ludinus is smart, and he needs everyone else to know he's smart, and he's not going to derive any satisfaction from getting in a dig at Delilah if he can't back it up.

let's hope I'm not super fucking wrong in a few hours, lmao.

[cantsayidont]

More hateration holleration. No poster art; I didn't like any of these movies and don't feel like looking at their posters again.

ABOUT HIM & HER (2023): Experimental romantic drama, set in 1989 and "based on a true memory," about an unnamed man (Callan McAuliffe) and an unnamed woman (Cristina Spruell) who are accidentally connected by a phone company mishap. Over a series of subsequent long-distance conversations, they become emotionally entangled and eventually agree to meet, but they're both so afraid that finally seeing each other face-to-face will shatter their delicate intimacy that they spend the entire second half of the film trying to avoid looking at one another, even though they both desperately want to. The characters' interactions are carefully staged throughout (at first, they're just voices, and we don't get a look at either of their faces until they're both in the hotel room), but this initially touching conceit eventually becomes SO contrived that the story's genuine poignancy is undercut by a growing resentment at being jerked around in such a heavy-handed way. This is perhaps the ultimate romantic idiot plot: Despite their insecurity, the characters are both skinny, conventionally attractive, straight white cisgender adults of similar age and class; the only thing keeping them apart is their reluctance to (literally) just open their eyes, and there's no reason to assume that even a failure of nerve on that front would be irreconcilable save for the filmmakers' stubborn commitment to the melancholy bit. (The end credits claim that the lead actors never saw each other or even learned each other's name until the film's premiere.)

I.S.S. (2023): Upsettingly grim apocalyptic drama — not really a thriller, though billed as one — about six astronauts aboard the International Space Station, three Americans (Ariana DeBose, Chris Messina, and John Gallagher Jr.) and three Russians (Masha Mashkova, Costa Ronin, and Pilou Asbæk), whose respective governments order them to turn on each other as nuclear war breaks out on Earth. Well-acted and generally well-made, but there's little real suspense because an unbearably bleak outcome is always a certainty, making the fates of the individual characters a more or less moot point; the only leavening factor the script can offer is a contrived subplot involving an experimental treatment for radiation poisoning, which is clearly too little, too late in the face of the global nuclear holocaust the characters see unfolding on the surface below. A stressful downer that makes Lars von Trier's nightmarish 2011 end-of-the-world movie MELANCHOLIA seem like a screwball comedy by comparison.

PARALLEL (2024): Unconvincing sci-fi drama, cowritten by stars Aldis and Edwin Hodge (and based on a 2019 Chinese film) about unhappy spouses Vanessa (Danielle Deadwyler) and Alex (Aldis Hodge), who are staying in a remote lake house with Alex's brother Martel (Edwin Hodge) as they struggle to come to grips with the recent death of their young son. The woods surrounding the house are also a nexus of parallel timelines, where alternate versions of the characters seek to supplant one another in what they hope will be better versions of their previous lives. It's nice to see this kind of sci-fi allegory with an all-Black cast, but it doesn't really work dramatically, marred by an over-reliance on exposition and some rather arbitrary rules (which the characters accept far more readily than it seems like they should under the circumstances) that make the plot's rapidly escalating violence hard to swallow. Aldis Hodge comes across well as always, but Deadwyler's part doesn't allow for much emotional nuance, and Edwin Hodge is stuck in an awkward third-wheel role.

PASSAGES (2023): Glum, dishearteningly biphobic French drama about a married man called Tomas (Franz Rogowski) who spurns his husband Martin (Ben Whishaw) for a younger woman called Agathe (Adèle Exarchopoulos) and then attempts to retreat to Martin after Agathe becomes pregnant, eventually managing to alienate them both. Why either was ever interested in him in the first place is never very clear, as Tomas is unattractive, solipsistic, and thoroughly unsympathetic (though Martin is no prize himself, leaving Agathe as the most tolerable character basically by default). All of the characters are thinly drawn, and some interesting directorial choices can't make up for the film's conspicuous lack of warmth or its aggravating determination to equate Tomas's bisexuality (a word the script studiously avoids) with his consuming selfishness and inability to commit emotionally.

[autisticandroids]

would you i include anything about dean and sam’s obvious alcohol and repression issues and maybe ptsd in either your good season 6 au or good season 7 au because if nothing else i would love for them to at least have addressed their serious problems w any of those things a little more seriously. i know it’s the cw and there’s only so much you can do but still i feel like there’s a way they could go about it and you are a phenomenal writer i just got through your s6 au so i feel like if anyone could make it work it would be you

okay so i saw this and i thought it focused specifically on alcoholism/addiction issues so that's the question i answered in my mind.

also the thing about trauma and repression is that i watch supernatural to see my favorite little dolls get traumatized and then repress their emotions about it, with maybe the occasional cathartic breakdown.

and i don't think dean is going to get a cathartic breakdown in the 6/7 of the good s6 au. he will be pushed to breaking points, but more in the "snap and do something terrible" type way, rather than anything that will encourage him to work through his issues. like he will probably get there eventually but in 6/7 i don't think he will because i don't want to push him in the right ways. also i kinda have no idea what dean is doing in the good s7, like my last really strong ideas about what he's doing in the good s6 au end with the mindwipe (when i post my mindwipe rewrite. then you will realize.) so i'm not sure what i'm going to do with him in 7. i am very compelled by his total nihilism in canon 7x01 like i'm very very into that, but i'm not sure if it works in my s7 because i would like to stretch 7x01 into 5-10 episodes and i don't know if maintaining that mental state for dean over that length of time is effective, practical, or interesting.

in sam's case, he might get pushed into a cathartic breakdown because i need to figure out how exactly i'm going to handle hallucifer. i'm like obsessed with hallucifer it's maybe my favorite sam arc, possibly JUST because of 7x17 which i'm OBSESSED with and like, yes that's because cas is back and deancas reunion and etc etc etc but also SAM HUNTING A CASE IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL WITH ABIGAIL HOBBES?????? like genuinely the only sam thing more compelling to me than sam gently mentoring a teenager is sam like. trapped in an prison or institution of some kind trying to work around the constraints in order to furtively accomplish tasks. anyway. i'm obsessed with hallucifer. also i'm hoping to insert some themes about the loss of specifically mental autonomy, because canon s6/7 has those but they're not connected or explored (soulless sam, sam not remembering being soulless, cas breaking sam's wall, hallucifer, dean asking cas to wipe lisa's memory, cas being semi-taken over by the souls and leviathans, cas losing his memory, cas taking on hallucifer) and i would like to explore and expand on those events and the connections between them, as well as adding a few of my own (introducing naomi in s6 instead of s8, changing the lisa mindwipe from a single event to an escalating pattern). so maybe sam will have a cathartic breakdown over that as a sort of climactic even in s7.

ANYWAY re: addiction: i think that s6/7 is probably not the right place to handle any issues with substances that sam has, because in s6 he's soulless for most of it, which is like. most of the issues sam has with substance abuse imo come from a combination of the fact that sam fears his own hedonic tendencies and so therefore overindulges when he indulges, and the fact that even though he doesn't do it as ostentatiously as dean, he still has a tendency to drink his feelings. soulless sam has neither of those problems. and then like, in s7, sam is dealing with hallucifer, and there is like... that's kind of not the time to try getting clean? like any substance abuse problem is going to be rendered pretty moot by the much worse problem of having the devil in your brain. like anything he took during the period where he was dealing with hallucifer would have been necessary and possibly life-saving self-medication. although now that i think about it it would have been interesting to see as part of his hallucifer recovery a recovery from an addiction he developed in an attempt to deal with hallucifer. like, he started drinking heavily and constantly in an attempt to put himself to sleep and also numb out hallucifer, but now hallucifer is gone and he's developed both bad habits re: alcohol and a physical dependency. like that might be worth poking into.

in terms of dean..... i think dean might actually be better about his drinking in season six because he's gonna have lisa watching over him the whole time? like she would prevent him from drinking too much just by like, watching him. he has to perform not-being-an-alcoholic for her, so he does. then post-mindwipe, once we've entered godstiel territory, dean would probably get much worse again as part of his rolling over and giving up. but i think he would just get worse, i don't think there would be any cathartic breaking points for dean in 6/7, and that includes wrt his drinking. save that shit for season eight.

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

Terezi seriously deserves so much better... post canon would've been the perfect place to revive her friendship with both Dave and Karkat. but also, her and Vriska's relationship got totally shafted in post canon. for self proclaimed Vriska fans, they don't really seem to be including her? like they basically just replaced her with a bland teen version? what the hell was the point of that? to go off a bit: the most interesting parts of Vriska's story are centered around her traumatic upbringing, which she deals with in ways that make her difficult to love, and Terezi is tied to her through repeated attempts to love her anyway, in spite of how hard it can be.

the trolls actually have a lot of relationships where one person has to decide when to stick by someone, and when to give up. Sollux ends up in a kind of limbo state with Aradia... he still likes who she was, but she's not that anymore when we first meet her as a ghost. Kanaya is interested in Vriska for a bit, but eventually feels unappreciated and used after spending probably longer than she should've trying to become interesting to her. Feferi has to figure out how to give up on Eridan without it resulting in widespread destruction, and that threat is why their relationship is exhausting to her in the first place. and Terezi has probably the most complex conundrum of all with Vriska. the two of them grew up together, and spent a long time killing a lot of their peers. for Vriska, it was essential to her survival and she had no choice, while for Terezi, it was just a recreational activity... and this is why Terezi eventually feels more guilt over it, and is able to realize that she should try to reform herself. meanwhile, Vriska built so much of her identity and self worth around taking pride in her ruthless persona, that it seems inextricable from who she is.

Vriska can't give up her kill-or-be-killed ways, even when she doesn't need to appease her lusus anymore, because this is the metric by which she judges people, and she can't stand to see herself as a victim. to her, weakness makes you killable... the way her lusus threatened her taught her that. failure results in death. and that's what bothers her so much about Tavros. by the standards she grew up under, he shouldn't have even made it as far as he did. but he also didn't even grow up by the same standards as Vriska to begin with. his lusus is tiny and cute, and he's clearly never even been asked to do anything violent before. even the fact that he had a choice is a novel concept. he didn't earn the right to live... not the way Vriska had to. to her, that's not fair. he even wanders into a game called "fatal live action roleplaying" like... the word "fatal" is in the name, looking for a fun adventure. as if Vriska hadn't been using this game to hunt her peers all this time. and she's probably killed a ton of more capable trolls than Tavros. what gives him a pass compared to them? the basic existence of someone like Tavros is like a wound that Vriska can't stop picking at, even while she's too prideful to admit she would've wanted a better life than what she got. instead, she has to hold others to this ruthless standard. if she doesn't, she might have to admit that her struggle was optional, or that it might not have made any sense to demand that much murder from a child. she didn't have to be raised like that. but like hell she's gonna play the victim. and it's alienating to be hated because of the one thing you feel like you've really accomplished. nobody could ever stomach being proud of Vriska, so she does it herself. she only has herself to rely on anyway.

all of this signifies a person who is damaged. she's in survival mode all the time, and it prevents her from forming connections with people. and Terezi sees this. Vriska's connection to Tavros is unhealthy, not just because Tavros is being bullied, but because Vriska isn't moving on. she's still all wrapped up in the idealized superiority of power, and won't admit that she even needs anyone or anything, even though she's genuinely not okay with losing so many of her friends over the Scourge/Charge debacle. so many of them consider this a step too far, but Vriska has genuine trouble discerning what the difference is between this, and her whole lifetime's worth of behavior. this is what she's had to do, and they're all more horrified at her, than they are at the things that made it necessary for her to turn out this way. and they don't have any solutions either. none of her friends can say "oh, well you should've handled it this way. then we could accept you" because the morally responsible thing to do would've been to die. Vriska not existing could've technically saved a lot of lives... if Vriska isn't proud of her strength, she might have to actually start feeling guilty for what she's done. and if Vriska felt a level of guilt that others think is appropriate for what she's done, she'd basically be ruined. people consider her unsalvageable, and she knows they see her that way. it breeds mistrust, and leads to her making all her decisions on her own, without asking anyone's advice or permission. they won't forgive her for even being alive, so screw them anyway. it drives a deeper wedge.

and Terezi is the one who actually understands all of this. she gets it... she was there. but she also knows that it would be healthier for Vriska to admit that she doesn't have to, or want to, live that way anymore. pride be damned, the things they did were awful, and their behavior should change. Terezi always had less riding on her adherence to these standards, so she was able to discard them easier. and now that she's on the other side of it, she knows that the longer you spend acting like that, the more the shame stacks up in hindsight. Vriska is digging herself a hole, and it's painful to watch, because Vriska is still basically Terezi's best friend. it's a hard position... if Vriska is never held accountable for anything, and never suffers consequences, then she may never change. but Terezi also irrationally wants to forgive her. because Terezi also wants to forgive herself. she doesn't want to believe that either of them are irredeemable, but when she kills Vriska, it seems as though they both were. it feels like they were both ruined. from the very beginning, as kids growing up in a fucked up environment, they never stood a chance. it's why they needed each other.

I just really wish post canon could focus on these two healing. they're both so well written, and so complex and interesting... and I was even really liking the hints of John and Terezi picking on each other. let Terezi have low stakes contention with someone! shenanigans that don't result in death would be good for both her and Vriska tbh. and it'd be so funny cuz like, Vriska is fond of John, and Terezi is so peeved by him. I think Vriska really started healing by knowing John, cuz as a human, she has a blank slate with him, and he couldn't have been raised ruthless, even if he would've been adept at being that way. to Vriska, John is an alien and doesn't work on the same scale as her. it leaves the point of survivability pretty moot, so Vriska isn't viewing everything in terms of that with him. and it's nice. she has fun. she gets to feel like a kid in a way that she never got to, because everything really is so simple. what I wouldn't give for the three of them to be able to pal around on earth C, that'd be so interesting!

(I’m not gonna add anything bc this is just, so good)

[choisanii]

wait for the enneagram thing, what are the enneagrams of each type of stans (as you've observed) if you know ? im genuinely curious.

ok so a little disclaimer before i start rambling: i’m by no means an expert on enneagrams i just find them absolutely fascinating and i think they’re really helpful overall! like if you know what type you are and what type someone else in your life is, you are evidently able to better understand yourself, them, and therefore better your relationship with them! also considering i have <15 ateez moots, some of which i unfortunately do not know that well, i’m going to try to keep this pretty vague and i’m also going to mostly base it on what i’ve observed in the members themselves (what types i think they may be, but again, i don’t know them personally so take it with a grain of salt!), as I think that one of the reasons our biases are who they are is because we identify with certain aspects of their personality. 

general note about the enneagram system: there are 9 types––one of them is your “basic personality.” this is your “core”, dominating personality, something predetermined partially by genetics and pre-natal factors, but also by your childhood (parental figures, significant events/experiences, etc.). however, since one’s personality is fluid and cannot be confined to just one “box” or “type”, everyone inevitably identifies with other types as well (this is where “wings” come in but that’s too complicated so i’ll stick with the core type). no type is “better” or “worse” than another; it’s literally just an explanation of why you are the way you are and how that contributes to how you see the world and interact with others. 

hongjoong stans: type 1 (the reformer) or type 3 (the achiever) -> in the most basic sense type 1s are perfectionists. conscientious and ethical. they are set apart from the other types due to the existence of a self-critical “internal voice/monologue”. one may even call them workaholics due to the fact that they’ll often suppress their personal needs/self indulgence in favor of productivity. high standards. a very very strong moral compass. incessant desire to be “right”. fears corruption. type 3s are also known to be workaholics and they struggle with competitiveness. they’re extremely driven and ambitious though they are often overly concerned with their self image. gets wrapped up in their problems; tends to neglect their personal needs and the needs of others. strives to gain love and approval through performance. usually regarded as popular and well-liked among others, the “class president” or “homecoming king/queen/monarch” type. aims to be a role model who inspires others. 

seonghwa stans: type 2 (the helper) or type 9 (the peacemaker) -> type 2s at their best are unselfish, altruistic, and maintain an unconditional love for others. extremely warm-hearted and empathetic. great listeners. kind and nurturing. self-sacrificial and people-pleasing. issues with possessiveness and acknowledging their own needs. bases self worth on what they give to others and what they’ll get back in return. may become overly dependent or manipulative. values relationships above all else. embodiment of the “good parent” everyone wishes they had. type 9s avoid anger and conflict at all costs. the mediator. merges with others and makes sacrifices in order to gain a sense of peace, belonging, and harmony, sometimes at the expense of their own feelings. can be very passive-aggressive when upset. trusting and gets along well with others. tendency to be overly complacent. can be very stubborn. maintains a generally optimistic point of view; likes to see the “bright side” of things. 

yunho stans: type 4 (the individualist) or type 7 (the enthusiast) -> type 4s want nothing more than to “find themselves” and create their unique sense of self. inspired and creative, they view themselves as unlike any other human being; not in an arrogant way––in a way that makes them focus on their own personal deficiencies as well as hone in on their personal talents. honest and self-reflective. fears abandonment and loss. struggles with negative self image and low self esteem. type 7s epitomize the motto “don’t worry, be happy.” hate being bored; moves towards excitement, freedom, and a variety of interesting experiences. always willing to try something new. difficulty with commitment. extroverted, optimistic, and playful. struggles with impatience and impulsiveness. aims to maintain their freedom and happiness at all costs, never wanting to miss out on worthwhile experiences. spontaneous, agile, and exceptionally fast learners. book smart and impressive mind-body coordination. 

yeosang stans: type 4 (the individualist) or type 6 (the loyalist) -> like i said with yunho, type 4s uniquely talented and expressive. gift for healing and the creative arts. always looking for more meaning in things. intense emotional highs and lows, difficult to find a happy medium. can be moody and self conscious. wishes to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. honest with themselves; do not attempt to rationalize their states, only accept them, which enables them to endure suffering with a quiet strength. easier for them to process painful experiences that may overwhelm other types. type 6s are reliable, trustworthy, and hardworking. when they are internally stable and self reliant, they become able to champion themselves and others. seek security and support from others in order to fight against anxiety and insecurity. friends for life. beliefs sometimes go against the “status quo” but they will defend and fight for them fiercely, more so than they’d do for themselves. 

san stans: type 2 (the helper) or type 3 (the achiever) -> maybe this is me just projecting since i’m a type 2 wing 3 but these two types really stand out to me in terms of my san biased moots as well as san himself. as i said with hwa, type 2s at their best are unselfish, altruistic, and maintain an unconditional love for others. people person and people-pleaser. extremely empathetic and give good advice. self worth depends on the love and approval of others. considerate, generous, helpful. fears becoming worthless. does not want to be taken for granted. may become overly involved in the lives of others. energetic, romantic, and sensitive to other’s needs and feelings. and like i said with hongjoong, type 3s believe that only through performance, achievement, and success will they gain love and approval. can be very self conscious and self critical; wants to appear their best. motivated and motivating, constantly on a journey of self-improvement. their unwavering belief in themselves and desire for self development inspires others to do the same. a role model. 

mingi stans: type 7 (the enthusiast) or type 9 (the peacemaker) -> like i said with yunho, type 7s are constantly seeking out new experiences. playful, optimistic, versatile, and extroverted. can be “scatter-brained” and end up undisciplined or over-extended. become satisfied when they are able to focus their talents on worthwhile goals. approach to life is not unlike “a kid in a candy store”. able to pick up skills and talents with relative ease, though when confronted with too many, they are unable to choose one to focus on. balance is key. like i said with hwa, type 9s are the mediators, the ones to avoid anger and conflict at all costs. passive aggressive under stress. seeks peace through acquiesce and acceptance. able to bring people together and solve conflicts. very in touch with their inner selves. goal-oriented but not aggressive. do not do well under pressure. struggle with finding a strong sense of identity. “spiritual seekers”, yearns for a connection with the cosmos as well as other people. 

wooyoung stans: type 7 (the enthusiast) or type 8 (the challenger) -> like i said with yunho and mingi, type 7s hate being bored; they are constantly seeking excitement, freedom, and a variety of interesting and new experiences. an avoider; they avoid pain and fear by escaping into fun and pleasure. often have difficulty with commitment and following through. easily distracted and can become exhausted from being constantly on the go. do not attempt to control. brain works at a mile a minute, much faster than anyone else is able to comprehend. aims to stay upbeat and look forward to a bright, positive future. type 8s are proud, confident, powerful, and strong. not afraid of confrontation. extremely self assertive and independent, might be intimidating to others. have difficulty with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. quick to anger but easy to appease. fears being harmed or controlled by others. denies weakness or fear. refuse to “give in” to social convention. 

jongho stans: type 5 (the investigator) or type 8 (the challenger) -> type 5s are visionaries, able to see the world in an entirely new way. focus on complex ideas and skills, sometimes to the point of detachment from the real world. relentless in their pursuit for knowledge. believe that they will eventually figure things out from the safety of their minds. hate feeling useless or incapable. compartmentalize people and situations. minimalist lifestyle; holds back strong feelings and desires/needs. like i said with wooyoung, type 8s are confident, impulsive, and aggressive. not afraid to go after what they want. difficulty being vulnerable. courageous, make good leaders, and protective of the weak. feel the need to control their environment (people as well) which may end up coming off as intimidating and domineering. want to be self reliant by proving their strength and resisting weaknesses. seek total independence and do not like being indebted to anyone. exercise an enormous amount of will, endurance, and persistence in their day-to-day lives. 

[jjba-hell]

Fate and Fortune

Part 8

Part 7- only linking the part before the current one from now on. All the earlier pieces are under the Fate and Fortune tag ^ω^

Content warning: violence, blood, Vera talking about her past and presumed death- ya’ll know the deal

Moots (^з^)-☆: @risottoneroo @fyre23 and @rat-makes-stuff (anyone else wanna get tagged, lemme know)

Part 9 being published right after this- yes, I would hate to see ya’ll in suspense so the follow up is already there.

Also this one is HELLA long

When they landed in Singapore, Vera wasted no time in guzzling down an ungodly amount of water and then crawling into her hotel bed to sleep off the remnants of her nausea- the peculiar thuds coming from the Frenchman next door not enough to deter her from her slumber.

“Mr Joestar apologizes for your luggage issue but I think he’s compensated well enough.” Avdol placed a clip of Singapore dollars onto her bedside, walking around to peel the blockout curtains open- as by her request.

“What will you be up to today?”

“I’m going to be with Mr Joestar, attempting to see Dio using Hermit Purple.”

She looked up at her guardian, smiling at the frustration softly bubbling at the surface of his facade. “I wanted to ask how he realized his stand works with pictures- more specifically smashing Polaroids.”

He gave a huff of laughter. “He informed me of his ability- I never suggested such a thing, in fact I was convinced a crystal ball would have been enough but essentially he beat me to it. We are about to try a television now, however.”

“Godspeed, Avdol.” She laughed as he exited her room.

Vera had just closed her room door when Noriaki called from down the hallway in the elevator. “Good morning, Vera.”

She strolled into the empty elevator he held open for her- extending the same greeting before watching the door close. “What’s our plan for today?”

“Define ‘our’.” She had initially only playfully teased but when he answered with “You and I.” it was her qeue to blush. “Oh, well-“ she cleared her throat. “I’ll be replacing most of my clothing today so unless you like shopping...”

“Oh you don’t have to worry about me- your sparkling conversation is more than enough thanks for me.”

She laughed to herself, rolling her eyes at him. “You are such a charmer!”

He tilted his head to the side, smiling slyly. “Pardon my assumptions, Vera but I truly don’t see you as someone who’s helpless under a charmer’s words- begs the question doesn’t it?”

“Ahh you think I want to be charmed.” She stepped out of the open elevator, Kakyoin trailing after her.

“Without a doubt.”

To Vera, being with Noriaki felt natural- he fell in step with her effortlessly, as effortlessly as the conversation flowed and her hand found his when there was a crowd. Being close to him- it felt right. Or was it safe? It was hard to tell sometimes.

“Well, now that we’ve come to the end of our journey- allow me to thank you for accompanying me.” She pushed her hotel room door open and put her bags down inside before closing it again and leaning her back against the closed door.

“Your company was all the thanks I could ask for.”

She smiled her most genuine smile and reached for his hand. There was rarely protest when she did this- his hands were surprisingly rough but warm- Vera chalked it up to his artistry being the reason.

She made him close the gap between them, pulling him closer until his shoulder was leaning against the door. “And you call me a charmer.” He commented, quietly, as if that little space just outside her door was for them and them alone.

Her heart was admittedly racing in her chest- the analogy of butterflies in your stomach always made her laugh but now, standing there so close to Noriaki- so close she could smell the shampoo in his hair and admire the slight silver streaks in his eyes... it made sense.

Vera assumed the feeling she was feeling was affirmative as she reached up a bit and brought her hand to the back of his neck. Noriaki obliged, of course, bringing his face closer to hers.

The gap only seemed to get smaller, her other hand moving up his arm- naturally trying to get on her tip-toes to help gain some height. By the time she closed her eyes, their noses were almost touching and then she waited, just the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears.

All at once- but not violent in the least- Noriaki’s lips brushed gently against hers and his other hand landed on the other side of her other shoulder- essentially caging her against the door.

The one action brought her excitement... but was painfully tainted by the fear that shot up through her spine at the other action. Her head turned away from him, the hand behind his neck moving to grip his wrist beside her.

“I’m sorry.” The words came from him, her eyes opening and gazing up at him. His hand moved away from the door- slowly and carefully, like moving too quickly would scare here off. Noriaki’s brows were knitted together in concern,

“It’s not you.” She tried to say- her voice failing her miserably in volume. That soft expression on his face didn’t falter, a small smile spread over his face. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, Vera.”

His hand moved to hold hers, squeezing softly as he stood a bit taller once again. “You’re shaking.”

She peered down at where their hands were connected- noting how her hand was shaking in his. “Oh.”

“I won’t hurt you.”

Her gaze shot back up to him. “I’m not thinking that.”

“I know. But I figure it was something you needed to hear, right now.”

“Called it!” Anne’s voice called from the end of the hall and like a spell had been broken they separated back to their casual distance as Jotaro came down the hallway.

“Called what, kid?” Vera regained a bit of her voice back.

“You two are the couple.”

“Why does there have to be a couple, exactly? Y’know what nevermind- I got you some better travel clothes while I was out, can you just go try them on?”

“What are you? My mom?”

Vera only raised an eyebrow as she opened the door and let the kid in.

It was pretty quiet on their way to Calcutta- she supposed that she had become somewhat accustomed to the swaying of the sea- although it really didn’t help her getting any more sleep.

“Why are you always up at this hour?” Jotaro grumbled as he came to join her for a smoke break- once again at the dead of night.

“We really have to stop meeting like this- it’s become the only time you seem to talk to me.” She joked, offering him her lighter.

He didn’t respond- she figured he wouldn’t so she filled the silence for him. “I’m up at this hour for the same reason as you.”

Vera got nightmares of her parents’ deaths, it only seemed logical that Jotaro suffered the same fate because of Holy.

“Do they go away?”

“I don’t know. I’ve only been struggling with them for about two years now...”

He scoffed, standing up a bit straighter. “I don’t know how you handle it.”

“What? The sleep deprivation or the insatiable grief?”

Jotaro’s hand moved over hers, much like she had done with his before- the words that followed however seemed to pain him to say. “Quit fooling around. I’m serious.”

It wasn’t often she met someone who’d explicitly ask her to be serious. He may not have had to look her in the eye when he asked but she got the message- drop the sarcasm.

“I really don’t know.” Her voice started softly. “I just distract myself, I guess. I’d rather fill the silence with sarcasm than let my own thoughts consume me. I’m not so good at doing that when I put my head down though...” she gripped the railing under her hand tighter- fighting hard against the tears sliding down her face. “I feel so weak.”

Her vision blurred and right then she moved off- turning away from the conversation but Jotaro caught a hold of her wrist. His grip was firm but not crushing, subtly pulling her back.

The tears continued to flow as she looked over her shoulder at him, the smile on her face forced painfully to avoid more tears. “Unless you’re gonna hold me, I suggest you let go.”

Jotaro snapped them together like magnets- pulling her snug into him, her head on his shoulder. The shock delayed her thoughts for a moment- a barrage of ‘is this a joke? A stand attack? Is this even Jotaro?’ But when she finally accepted and hugged him back, her thoughts melted away.

How long had she gone without being held like this? Why did it feel like the first time in months her mind was quiet enough to release all the tension she held in her body? A heavy sigh followed as she practically melted into Jotaro’s firm embrace.

He separated them gently, standing up straight to peer down at her once more the hand he had first held, now properly entwined with his fingers. “Stop with the ‘weakness’ crap- got it?”

With her eyes dried she could give him that sarcastic grin once more. “Or what?”

He leaned in low, their faces almost touching. “Fuck around and find out.”

And with that he started walking back below deck- Vera trailing behind him. “Oh no, is Jotaro actually gonna tell me what he actually thinks about me?”

“Yare yare, woman- you know how I feel about you.”

“On the contrary- I wasn’t sure you felt anything at all, up until this point.”

In front of her room he sternly told her to go to bed and wake him up if she had a nightmare but she only shrugged it off- thanking him regardless. “And miss the opportunity to enjoy a cigarette on my own?” Was how she played it off.

Regardless she’d gotten a few hours of sleep in before they docked in Calcutta- more than she could say she’d had in a while.

“And you, Vera? No concern for the culture shock?” Polnareff had asked her as they waited for the ship to be free to leave.

“Well I took a round of birth control and an oxybutynin*... so I guess I’m not scared because I’m just well prepared.” She answered with a painfully wide grin.

Jean’s face dropped just in time with the door for their exit and immediately she stayed with the elder men- taking Mr Joestar’s extended arm to push through the crowd.

“Is this common occurence?” Noriaki asked as they all squeezed together on a crowded bus.

“Well I may be dependent off of Mr Joestar and Avdol’s movement but the chances of anyone bothering me are low. Did you get your wallet back?”

He laughed with a nod.

At the restaurant Vera went to change back into her traveler’s set- asking the table to order for her.

She’d long known to watch her own back in life but it would be a lie to say she was waiting for the knife to her throat the second she stepped out of the bathroom stall door.

Whoever or whatever it was clasped their hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming. Her frantic gaze fell towards the floor length mirror facing the stall door.

It’s breath huffed hungrily in her ear as she struggled. She knew her attempts in that moment were useless but she wasn’t trying to fight for survival, she was trying to stop their escape.

Mirrors.

Jotaro said something about mirrors.

It was probably the worst gamble she had ever taken but hey- Fortune was on her side wasn’t it?

She sent Fortune out to close the curtains of the window- plunging the room into darkness. The grip on her mouth and the painful prod at her throat loosened- her qeue to attack.

She sent Fortune towards her back where she guessed the perp was holding her from. Through Fortune, she could feel a successful hit but not without the cost of a few weak lashes at her arms. The barrage of attacks coming to a stop when Fortune grabbed hold of its head and shoved it into the wall beside her- the soft crack under her palm hopefully being an indicator of good news.

For a moment she had thought she was winning until the blood stain dripping down her neck over her clothes was too prominent to ignore. Had the adrenaline allowed her to ignore the lightheaded ness? Was she bleeding out?

She let Fortune hover closer to her to heal up her neck just enough to stop the bleeding but it didn’t change the fact that she had lost too much blood to be comfortable with.

“Goddamit I took the birth control to avoid blood!”

The light ruffle of the curtains had her bring a very translucent Fortune back for a fight but when there was silence and she couldn’t see anything in the mirror she deemed herself all-clear.

Where was that ringing coming from? Vera stumbled through the hallway back to the table where she only then noticed that she was having trouble swallowing.

Avdol’s jaw dropped as he saw her first- nearly leaping out of his seat to prop her up over his shoulder. “What happened?”

With a lot more strain than was quite fair she spoke. “Mirror attack. Stand.”

Jotaro was the one to get up and pick her in a princess carry. “We need to get to a hospital- now.”

For a moment she was about to joke about how much she enjoyed being carried but the searing pain in her neck had her nearly convulse straight of his arms. Jotaro’s grip on her tightened as she fought against him, the pain being the worst she’d felt in years.

“I’m sorry- I had to cauterize it.” Avdol’s face came into view for a second just before her vision started to swim.

“That really fucking hurt.” She hissed, feeling Jotaro start moving, her swimming vision going dark.

When she woke up she was in the hospital, with Jotaro and Kakyoin outside her room, catching her as she dragged the IV along the hallway with her.

“Well rested?” Mr Joestar had asked as they got into the taxi to the hospital.

“Somewhat. Where’s Avdol? At the hotel?”

There was a strained silence that followed.

“Polnareff left to go after the stand user that attacked you both- his sister’s killer.” Kakyoin answered.

“And Avdol is making sure he doesn’t get himself killed.”

If it wasn’t for her exhaustion, she’d have taken offense that Avdol chose to make sure Polnareff would survive and yet she laughed at the idea that he thought she was capable enough to take care of herself.

“Sounds like a tomorrow problem.” She grumbled as she tipped her head back and rode out the rest of the way to the hotel.

A few hours later she found herself treading through the streets in search of her guardian. He hadn’t called in a few hours and her gut feeling was telling her there was some kind of trouble brewing... 

A part of her had to laugh at the irony. Avdol often veered her away from any possible dangers but was front, line and center to go after an idiot like Polnareff who didn’t know any better than to take a bait on an emotional whim. Unsurprisingly the others had felt that same premonition and had spread out to help find the two.

The longer she walked the deeper her stomach dropped until her worst nightmare came to light.

A bloody Avdol lay in the middle of street.

* oxybutynin is a medication that lowers the frequency/ need to urinate (yes, I felt for Polnareff- that shit’s nasty)

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 68

One chapter, beta’d by both @satan-parisienne and @baelpenrose, so there should be a minimum of errors floating around in there.

As some have noticed, I did update the Master List over the weekend.  A few other things I just want to touch on:

Ask box is literally always open, as is my inbox.  Feel free to drop questions, comments, whatever in there.  I love interacting with people, so it makes my day to see y’all reach out to me.

Also, I recently crossed the threshold for 500 followers.  It’s crazy, and I’m just gobsmacked that you all follow me.  I won’t be doing a character contest this time, but keep your peepers peeled for what I am doing instead...

Now, on with our chapter!

“To confirm Councilor Reid’s statement, the bacteria that was, until recently, potentially killing us, is instead killing itself?”

“Correct, Eino.”

“And this is a bad thing because it is sentient?”

“Partially why it is bad, yes.”

“Xiomara, if I may?” I couldn’t see them, but I could practically hear Grey lean forward and push their glasses further up the bridge of their nose. Just the tone of voice told me that this Grey was well-rested and firing on all cylinders.

Xiomara nodded, then dropped her head back to suppress a groan when she realized the rest of the Council couldn’t actually see her. “Please go ahead, Grey.  You are probably better to explain this than I am.”

“Thank you.” A brief pause. “While I do confess that I argued stringently against the decision that Else is sentient, in the end, even I was satisfied with the decision.  However, Terran studies of neural matrices do show that there is a threshold of connections, below which sentience does not exist except as a potential.  It stands to reason that, for a hive minded species such as Else or even the Hujylsogox, loss of too many members would create a similar loss of sentience.”

Noah’s voice hummed in confirmation. “This is correct. Even if I were to lose too many of my avatars, and later come in proximity to others of my kind, I would no longer be myself but instead be absorbed into the sentient member, and they would gain any information I had learned.”

I felt my face contort into a horrified expression. “Noah, does that happen?”

“Only in very dire circumstances, Wisdom.  It is considered a capital crime do so against a cluster’s will, and the height of rudeness to begin to do so accidentally.”

“Question: if a species can lose sentience due to low population, can it actually be considered sentient?” Eino’s tone was carefully inquisitive rather than argumentative.

“The problem cannot be framed in that way and make logical sense,” Grey advised, not unkindly.  “According to the Galactic research database, each member of a hive-minded species serves as a neural connection for one single, larger mind.  Just because the individual loses neural awareness or function, the species does not; believing so would be comparative to stating we are not sentient as a species simply because sufficient neural damage can render one of us brain-dead.”

“Thank you for the clarification,” he breathed, seemingly in relief.

Grey continued. “In this case, however, there are no others of Else’s species. It is such a young race, that despite so many bodies, it only has one mind for now.   Should too many bodies die off from starvation out of Else’s attempt to do no further harm, sentience will be lost.  At that point, there is a reasonable amount of certainty that it will begin to eat freely again, and become sentient again.”

“And there is no guarantee that the new version of Else will like us as much as the current version.  We can’t take that chance,” Xiomara finished.  “What if we end up with a homicidal bacterium instead of an apologetic one.”

The entire channel fell silent at the weight of her words.  I couldn’t blame anyone – it was a lot to process.  Hell, I was the one who brought the topic to her attention, and even I felt the need to vomit when she said it.  It was too much to really contemplate for long.

“So, what are we supposed to do? Feed it?” The words may have sounded sarcastic coming from a different person, but I knew Pranav was considering this a genuine option.  In the time I had known him, he had always worked with the facts, regardless of what anyone hoped to dreamt.

Looked like it was my turn.  “We actually have a few options that Else mentioned on their own, when they were trying to convince me not to have them eradicated.”

After a brief pause, Giang Huynh spoke up. “Please elaborate, Sophia.”  Not only the illness, but the destruction or degradation of several structures had led to his department being the one most effected by Else.  Instead of his normal belligerence, he just sounded resigned.

Taking a deep breath, I laid out what Else and I discussed. “The first, probably easiest option, is to isolate all of Else and deposit the entire culture into the first nebula we reach.”

“Nebulas are very rich in iron,” Eino pointed out. “But does it need oxygen?”

“Else is largely anaerobic,” Grey responded. “Due to its diet of iron, open air is almost immediately fatal to it.  This explains why it has been predominantly found in bone marrow and the spleen, as that is where the highest amount of iron can be found in the human body, before the blood is oxygenated.”

“Are there any downsides to this option?” Simon asked.  Since I was technically still on medical leave, he was acting in my stead. The only reason I was allowed on this conference was as a witness, not a Councillor.

“Else doesn’t like it,” I admitted. “Because, and I quote, ‘there are no humans in a nebula’.”

“Miys, does Else have a say in this?” Eino asked, curious.

“As a sentient species, yes, they must agree to the relocation unless their current environment is untenable without drastic intervention.  Technically, their current environment is viable for the foreseeable future.”

“Wait – what?” Simon sputtered.  “We only recently stopped needing constant transfusions.”

“Not all of the ship needed them on a constant basis,” Grey pointed out.  “And some who were impacted did not need them at all until very near the end of the crisis.”

She means others like Tyche, I realized. “Okay, so that’s an option, but only if we lack any others and can talk Else into it,” I forged ahead. “Which means any discussion of whether or not Else needs to be forcibly relocated is moot, because they did bring up other options.” I paused for response, and continued when there was none. “The second option was dropping them off on a barren, iron-rich planet with a late-sequence star.”

“How is that any different?” Huynh sputtered in confusion.

I watched Xiomara’s eyes get wide. “Tactics,” she breathed before repeating it, louder. “It’s a tactical preference. An iron-rich world, especially a barren one, is more likely to be mined, isn’t it?”

“Mining such planets requires significantly less effort and resources than are needed to mine a nebula,” Noah confirmed.

“And mining gives them the chance to be picked up by a new species,” Xiomara dropped like a bomb, triggering a rush of muttering.

“We should only base the value of an option on whether or not it will be a detriment to Else if it is certain to prevent the detriment, regardless of the impact to us.” I was initially surprised to hear such a venomous tone from Huynh, before considering his home nation’s history. Okay, he has every reason to be adamant here.  After all, his country had suffered horribly at the hands of mine, not even a century prior. “Are there any other options?”

“Put them in stasis and bring them with us,” I confessed. “But, I also pointed this out to Else: And then what? It’s still a finite resource situation, in the long run.  Not to mention the fact that we are working toward having the least possible impact to the new world – doesn’t bringing a sentient plague with us completely defeat the purpose?”

“We are already studying the impact our own gut bacteria will have on Kepler 442b,” Grey added. “And while we have no plans for large-scale mining of natural resources, the planet and its star already have poor metallicity.”

“I feel like those options really cover everything that is actually available to us,” Xiomara confessed.

“Agreed,” Pranav chimed in. “There is an option that Else does not like, but provides greatest opportunity for it to thrive.  There is an option it likes, which also provides the chance for a species that shows every indication of being quite social to potentially interact with others.  And there is an option that is really only a stopgap measure.”

“Ultimately, Else has to agree to whatever measure is to be taken,” Noah pointed out, attempting to be helpful.

“Else wants to stay with us,” I rebutted. “So much so that it is about to lobotomize itself in the attempt.  We have to convince it to take an option that is better for its survival.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized what I was saying.  I didn’t even attempt to suppress the groan of regret that erupted.

“If you are done impersonating a cow,” Xiomara grinned wryly, “Yes, that means we need to negotiate with Else.”

“You mean I need to,” I grumbled.

Grey gave me a sliver of vain hope. “We are attempting to locate another individual who has been able to get in touch with it, Sophia.  While their method of conveying it was quite crude, Mr. MacMaoilir and Mr. Okima did have a valid concern regarding how taxing it is for your body when you are speaking with Else.”

“Any luck?”

“Not as of yet, no.” Damn it. Even Grey sounded unhappy with the fact.

“So, unless something drastic changes, the plan is for me to try to talk Else into agreeing to either relocating to a nebula or a barren planet, either way, no people.  Does that about sum it up?” Confirmations came from everyone. “Wonderful. And if anyone comes up with any other options, please make sure we know ahead of time. Even a brief conversation is going to be ten hours, if the last one is anything to go by.”

“About that,” Eino ventured hesitantly. “The case study for your previous interview with Else indicates that you recited scientific papers to provide a lexicon. Is this true?”

“I wish it wasn’t, but yes, it’s true.”

His tone almost immediately perked up. “Since you know going in what you will be discussing, would it be more beneficial if we instead played a targeted lexicon for you to recite?  It may minimize the time you spend reciting unnecessary or repetitive words.” When I didn’t immediately respond, he clarified.  “I understand that your previous interaction involved many open-ended questions, and therefore you needed as many words as conceivably necessary for an intelligible response, but this time, the questions are close-ended, are they not?”

“The questions are at least more close-ended, yes,” I admitted, realizing what he was getting at.

“Council, I would like to offer my department to support this situation by preparing a targeted lexicon for the upcoming negotiations with Else. Should another person be found to enter into negotiations, we will also create a script for the questions themselves, which should provide enough language for Else to respond coherently with their answers.”

I shrugged and nodded at Xiomara.  Even if I was going to be the person doing this, a targeted lexicon would be easier – and less time consuming – to recite than scientific papers.

She nodded firmly before replying, “That is a value add, definitely. Council vote?”

Unsurprisingly, the decision was unanimous.  “Any idea how long it will take to get everything ready?” I asked, admittedly impatient. “We don’t know how long we have until Else reaches that threshold Grey mentioned.”

Eino hummed for a moment. “Tentatively? Five days.  Conservatively, I would put it at a week.”

Pinching my nose before swiping an entire down my entire face, I made some quick estimates. “I don’t think Else has that long, I’ll be honest.  Grey, do you have any idea how fast it is reducing itself?  Or better yet, how long before it reaches a critical density?”

“As to the second inquiry, there has been no study to even begin estimations, but I will task a group of researchers with finding an answer. However, we do have hard data in regard to the first question: Since you last spoke with Else, seventeen percent of its population has died off.  It has also ceased replication of itself.  By current estimates, we have less than thirteen days before Else is entirely extinct.”

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[syntaxeme]

One Good Turn ch. 3

[Read on AO3] | [First Chapter] | [Next Chapter] Rating: T Story summary: Angel’s clean streak is broken when Val forcibly calls him back to the studio. On principle (and not at all out of concern for Angel's wellbeing), Alastor takes it upon himself to free Angel from Valentino's control. But what started as a simple favor becomes something much more complicated, all because of an innocent thank-you kiss.

— — – 

Some part of Alastor knew it wasn’t entirely fair to judge a person—or a demon, as the case may be—by the company he keeps. That is, the fact that Valentino chose to associate with that tasteless hack Vox did not necessarily mean that he too was uncultured vermin. It was damning, certainly, but not definitive. This was a moot point, however, as there was already sufficient evidence to prove Valentino was trash, his friendship with Vox notwithstanding.

“It looks like after several months supposedly on the straight and narrow, adult film star and well-known coke whore Angel Dust has finally fallen completely off the wagon!” Katie Killjoy’s aggressively cheerful voice blared from the television set up in the hotel’s lobby, where all the hotel’s residents had gathered for news of their missing compatriot. Alastor could just imagine that vicious smile plastered on her face as she commentated over a video of Angel in a darkened club drinking himself to sickness, Angel doing lines and laughing coldly as a demon at his side passed out, Angel knelt in the darkened interior of a limousine and flipping off paparazzi while Valentino held him close with a ubiquitous grin.

Valentino was a common factor in all these scenarios, in fact, whether pouring liquor down Angel’s throat, handing him off to a…client, or simply watching in amusement while he drowned himself in sin. It had been three weeks, nearly four, since that limo had arrived and whisked Angel back to his old life of leisure and pleasure, and it seemed clear that Valentino was intent on keeping him there. Perhaps all the drugs and alcohol were meant to keep him compliant. And it seemed to be working a treat.

“It just goes to show that every soul here in Hell is here for a reason,” the reporter went on, “and that no misguided attempts at redeeming them will ever bear fruit. Looking at you, Princess Charlotte!”

Charlie’s eyes were locked on the TV, both hands covering her mouth, and Alastor could see tears starting to well in her eyes. Vaggie tried to console her, but she simply shut her eyes tight and dropped her head, withdrawing into herself rather than showing all the pain she must be feeling. That was a smart move, strategic, but not at all aligned with her personality.

“Damn it, Angel was here longer than any of us,” one of the other patrons complained loudly. “If he couldn’t hack it, what chance do the rest of us have?”

“Oh, come now, my good fellow, that’s hardly the spirit of self-improvement we strive for here at the Hazbin,” Alastor crowed, waltzing over to drape his arm over the pessimistic demon’s shoulders. “Have some confidence! Have some fortitude! Why, I assure you no one is more distraught over our dear friend Angel’s defection than I, but I refuse to allow my melancholy to keep me from progressing toward—”

“Alastor, will you just…save it?” Charlie barked, surprising everyone in the room into silence (other than the television, unfortunately). She looked up at him with a tearful snarl, fingers curling into helpless claws. “I know you don’t care about any of this, I know you think of it as a joke, but losing Angel isn’t something to laugh about. He was doing so well. I really thought he…” She took a deep, shuddering breath and shut her eyes. “I feel stupid enough already. You don’t have to rub it in.” She left the room with her head down, and as usual, the others followed her lead, dispersing to their respective rooms and leaving Alastor alone with 666 News’s mocking jingle.

Well. That certainly hadn’t gone to plan. If Charlie thought he was intentionally digging at her for Angel’s unfortunate regression, she was sorely mistaken. Much to his own surprise, he truly was quite bothered by Angel’s absence, either because he disliked the hotel’s naysayers having any further ammunition against them or because none of their other patrons had such a defined and entertaining personality. He also didn’t much care for the knowledge that the very independent and unfettered Angel Dust was evidently being toted about like a marionette, with Valentino holding the strings.

With some reluctance, Vaggie had shared with him the stories Angel had told of his relationship with Val. There was no secret in the fact that Valentino used him for sex and money, no pretense of fair play or equality between them. It was with far more trepidation that Angel admitted exactly how imbalanced in power they were, how insistent Valentino could be on controlling his every move. And if he disobeyed, if he rebelled, if he refused any order, the Overlord wouldn’t hesitate to ‘lay down the law.’ Alastor could only guess, based on how frightened Angel had seemed when they’d last seen each other, exactly what that implied.

He had since done some further research on exactly who Valentino was and what function he served in Hell. How many associates he had. Who might seek revenge if some unfortunate accident were to befall him. That was, of course, how his association with Vox had become clear, which complicated matters a bit more. Slaughtering one Overlord for the sake of bringing Angel back into the fold and restoring his autonomy was one thing; Alastor had killed people for less. Murdering an Overlord to whom Vox had some ostensible connection was another entirely. Was Alastor willing to risk a genuine threat for the sake of this farce, this naïve, hellish sitcom Charlie was staging?

Difficult to say.

…

Later in the evening, while Alastor sat awake in bed contemplating his options, a faint scratching from downstairs caught his ear. It was unlikely any of the others would hear it, but being so attuned to the sounds of his surroundings as he was, it didn’t escape his notice. He sat a few moments longer, wondering if it might be another drunken imp crawling home after a few shots too many. But the sound persisted, a scratch scratch scratch, as if of claws scraping the front door’s flawless enamel.

With a sigh, he slipped through the shadows and down the stairs to open the door, shocked to find a disheveled Angel Dust collapsed on the doorstep. Or maybe ‘disheveled’ was too mild a word. His face was bruised and smudged with blood, his torn clothing even more revealing than usual, his breathing shallow as if every inhale caused him further pain. To be plain, he looked rather like shit. And his condition was utterly fascinating.

“Angel?” Alastor knelt to observe him more closely: his hazy eyes, the blood leaking from the corner of his mouth, the way his hand still absently scrabbled toward the door. He almost seemed unaware that he was no longer alone. When Alastor rested a hand on his shoulder, he flinched away.

“No!” he said weakly. “No, I’ll be…I’ll…” He blinked quickly, trying to clear his vision, and the fear on his face faded into confusion. “Alastor?”

“That is my name; don’t wear it out,” Alastor chuckled, unsure of how to approach this situation with anything other than his usual nonchalance. “Are you all right? I’ll be honest: you aren’t looking your best.”

“Yeah, thanks, jackass,” Angel grumbled, struggling to push himself up, all four arms shaking under his slight weight.

“May I ask what happened?” He was terribly curious. It must have something to do with Valentino, but what? It was clear Angel had been beaten, but by whom?

“Doesn’t matter. Just help me get to my room, will ya?”

Alastor remained exactly where he was, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, are you back to stay? Is this a pattern you’re developing, spending some time ‘clean’ before relapsing and leaving us without a word for months or longer? A classic cycle for addicts, I’m told.” If Valentino had truly been holding him against his will, these accusations would hardly be fair, but Alastor got the feeling that wasn’t exactly what had happened.

“Fine, don’t help me then.” Angel managed to force himself to his feet—which were bare—and clung to the door to take one shaking step inside. As he tried to take another, he wavered and collapsed. By reflex, Alastor moved to support him. But Angel surprised him by shoving away, so roughly that he threw himself to the ground.

“Keep your fuckin’ hands off me!” he shouted, leaving the lobby in charged silence thereafter. Despite the unexpected reaction, or maybe because of it, Alastor’s smile widened slightly at the edges. He did enjoy a good surprise, if he was honest, and it was interesting to imagine what might have happened to make Angel of all people averse to being touched. After a moment of stillness, the tension melted from Angel’s body, and he lowered his head slowly. “Sorry. I ain’t had the best luck with men lately.”

Oh, do I fall under that category? “Think nothing of it. Though it’ll be harder to help you upstairs if you don’t want me touching you.”

“It’s fine. Just don’t get fuckin’ handsy,” Angel muttered, holding out one hand and allowing Alastor to take it to help him up.

“I’m sure you know already that I wouldn’t dream of it.” Again, he laughed, helping Angel slowly and cumbersomely across the lobby to enter the elevator.

“Ya know, for once, I appreciate that about you.” Angel had chosen a room at the very top of the hotel on his initial arrival, determined to be as far from the others as possible, citing ‘beauty rest’ and ‘mind your business’ as his reasoning. Regardless of his absence, Niffty had still included the room in her usual cleaning schedule, possibly in the hopes that he would be back. When they reached room 723 and he managed to locate his key, he swung the door open to a room decorated in shades of pink rather like Angel himself. While he stumbled inside to seat himself on the bed and let out a sigh of relief, Alastor lingered in the doorway, his curiosity unsatisfied.

“Where have you been?” he asked, making a conscious effort at sincerity in his tone.

“Ain’t you been watchin’ the news?” Angel scoffed. “I been everywhere. Didn’t even fuckin’ know half the time, Val kept me so—” He stopped himself, wrapping his arms around his lengthy body and staring down at his lap. “I bet Charlie’s pissed.”

“Now, I’m sure you know her better than that.”

“Yeah. But ‘disappointed’ is even worse. I didn’t want…” He shook his head in frustration. “It’s Val. I can’t think straight when he’s around. He gets in your head, y’know?”

“In your head, maybe,” Alastor agreed. “Yes, that’s how it seems.”

“You wanna talk about ‘cycles’? You wanna talk about ‘patterns’? It’s him. It’s always fuckin’ him.” Even with his mouth set in a furious sneer, a tear streaked down his face, and he quickly brushed it away. “He’s been real careful about keepin’ his eye on me this time. Keepin’ me happy or strung-out or shitfaced enough that I can’t argue with him. Guess he slipped up tonight.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Alastor stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind him, then went to lean against the wall opposite Angel and watch him closely. It almost sounded as if he wanted to talk about what he’d just gone through at Valentino’s hands, and if that was the case, Alastor was happy to listen. “What happened tonight?” he prompted. “If Valentino has made such an effort to keep you under control, how did you come to be back here at the hotel?”

“Luck, maybe? I mean, if you can call it lucky to get the shit kicked outta you,” Angel said with a mirthless laugh. His eyes lingered on Alastor, studying him as if trying to guess what ulterior motives he might have for staying in the room. “I dunno. Val had some business to take care of tonight. The kinda business he doesn’t like me gettin’ involved in. So he…loaned me out to a buddy of his. Vox. He—”

Angel’s tale cut off with a cringe as the usual ambient buzzing about Alastor’s person jumped into a harsh screech of static. His sharp smile stayed fixed as firmly as ever, his eyes wide as he tried to process this new information. He hadn’t realized that Vox was personally involved in all this, but the knowledge muddied his feelings on the entire subject somewhat. Where was all this anger coming from, he wondered? Was it the idea of Vox enjoying anything that he so resented? Was it the concept of Angel Dust being passed around between Overlords without any say in the matter? Maybe it was the thought that he was somehow enabling Vox to take advantage of Angel by not confronting Valentino sooner.

Very difficult to say.

After several seconds of tension, he managed to subdue the scratch and static back to its typical lingering presence. “I’m sorry, please continue,” he said pleasantly. “You’ve been…involved with Vox, then?”

“Sorta.” Angel was still watching him warily, like he expected another sudden outburst at any moment. “You know him?”

“We’re acquainted.” Another brief crackle of static. “We’re of different minds on a few issues. I didn’t know he was a part of Valentino’s business.”

“He’s not exactly. Doesn’t like gettin’ his hands dirty; he just likes to watch,” Angel explained. Yes, that fit the understanding of Vox’s character that Alastor had developed over the years. Always watching, observing, storing information for later use. Parasite. “It’s not like anything was different this time. It’s how he always is. Him and his guys. Usually four or five of ‘em. But I guess he didn’t like Val’s plan to keep me drugged and drunk all the time. What’s the point if I don’t scream, right?” His voice had turned hard, cold, and his clawed fingers dug into the bedspread beneath him.

Realizing that this topic had become an unpleasant one for both of them, Alastor began, “Angel, if you’d rather not—”

“Oh no, you started this,” Angel snapped back, shooting him a glare. “You wanted to know. The least you can do is let me finish.” He was right, of course. Alastor inclined his head and gestured for Angel to go on. “Anyway, those demons that work for him ain’t really the gentle type. And I was comin’ down from like, three different highs at once, so I already felt like garbage before they got their hands on me. Guess I complained one time too many.” He absently reached up to touch the bruise on his cheekbone, wincing slightly at the pressure.

“Once they were done with me, once Vox looked the other way, I snuck out. I got a cab, but I didn’t have any cash on me, so…” He shrugged, leaving it up to Alastor’s imagination as to how he paid for the ride. This may have been the first time he’d seen Angel so blasé toward—even uncomfortable with—the subject of sex. “I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. Don’t worry, Val’s probably gonna send one of his guys to pick me up once he realizes I’m gone, so I won’t be here causin’ trouble for long.”

Alastor pushed off the wall and strode over to the bed to stand in front of Angel. Recalling how badly he had responded to being touched earlier, he made sure to move slowly and carefully as he trailed his fingertips up the edge of Angel’s chin to make him look up. “Is that what you want? To go back to Valentino?”

“Wh-what?” Angel was apparently having difficulty following the turn this conversation had just taken, his face flushed as he stared up at the Radio Demon with wide eyes.

“Do you want to go back to him?” Alastor repeated, absently licking the pad of his thumb to wipe the dried blood away from the corner of Angel’s mouth. Such a waste. Angel started to lean into the touch, but it ended before he could do so. “If and when he sends an escort to retrieve you, do you plan to cooperate?”

“What else am I gonna do?” Shaking his head, leaning back slightly, Angel pointed out, “You don’t know what he’s like, Al. He doesn’t like bein’ told ‘no,’ and he doesn’t like lettin’ go of shit that belongs to him. I ain’t got much choice.”

“Just humor me for a moment and suppose that you do,” Alastor insisted, gesturing airily as he spoke. “Suppose you had the option to either go back to his studio and live a relatively comfortable and indulgent life with few personal freedoms or stay here, focus on your rehabilitation, and work with us to support the hotel’s efforts. Which would you prefer?”

The answer was almost immediate. “If there was a way for me to not be Val’s little fuckin’ boy toy anymore, sure, I’d take it in a heartbeat.”

Alastor’s smile widened considerably. “That is exactly what I was hoping to hear. And as co-manager of the hotel, it’s my duty to eliminate any and all obstacles to our patrons’ recovery, is it not? Consider your account with Valentino settled, my friend, and try to get some rest. We’ll be expecting you back in sessions tomorrow.”

“Wait. Wait a minute!” Angel grabbed his wrist as he started to leave, and although he wrenched away from the touch, he did pause. “What’re you sayin’? You’re not gonna go after him, are ya?”

“I plan to have a conversation with him,” Alastor said honestly. “I’m hoping he’s a reasonable fellow and will understand the situation without the need for things to get messy. If he doesn’t, however…” The room darkened slightly, highlighting the glow of his eyes. “I̶ ̢w̸i̷l͡l m͞ak̸e ͘h͜i͏m ͝uǹd҉e̶rst҉an͠d.”

“Don’t.” Angel was visibly unnerved by seeing his cheerful demeanor slip, but it didn’t stop him from protesting. “Seriously. I know you’re supposed to be this big powerful Overlord and all, but Val is no joke. Whatever you think you’re gonna get out of threatening him—”

“Are you trying to protect him?”

“No. I’m tryin’ to protect—” He ran a hand through his hair with an irritated groan. “It’s not worth it. I’m sayin’ if he’s pissed at me, I should be the one dealing with it. I don’t want you or Charlie or anybody here to get hurt cuz of my personal bullshit.” As the words were coming out of his mouth, he seemed to slowly realize what he was saying, just as Alastor did the same.

“Why Angel Dust,” the Radio Demon purred, surprised but delighted. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but that sounded very much like the virtue of Kindness. Maybe even Humility. You might be closer to redemption than I thought.” What an interesting development!

“Oh, shut the hell up!” Angel hissed, flushing even darker now and grabbing a heart-shaped throw pillow from the bed to toss it at Alastor. “Get outta my room, you dick.”

“Hmm, and just when we were starting to get along.” He dodged another pillow and swept out of the room, stealing one last glance at the blush on Angel’s cheeks before pulling the door shut behind him. As much as he appreciated the sentiment, he planned to ignore the advice not to approach Valentino.

It’s not worth it, Angel had said. I’m not worth it, was what he meant. That was likely another lingering effect of Valentino’s influence, one he would be better off without. Beyond that, Alastor had already said that he would take care of the problem, and he had a firm policy against the breaking of promises.

[smuttymess]

bts astro soulmate reading | for mary

sign: cancer sun | pisces moon | virgo rising

lover: min yoongi | soulmate: kim taehyung

This reading is for Mary, a fellow NYC moot and a huge fan of our sunny J-Hope & Taehyung’s general gorgeousness. I had a lot of fun with this one as I am on a huge Taegi kick right now, so I hope you enjoy <3

Still waters run deep for you, sensitive Cancer. With your sun in Cancer, your super power is intuition. Your strength comes in your emotional intelligence, which you are tapped into at all times. This is only intensified by your Pisces moon, which allows you to feel things on a deeper level than most people. Your compassionate, empathetic nature is felt and appreciated by others, who often seek you out for advice or a shoulder to lean on. You have a strong tendency to get swept up in your emotions and impressions, longing to retreat into your fantasy world and away from the harsh realities of daily life. Luckily, you are blessed with a sharp Virgo rising, which you are allows you to harness your emotions and and utilize them to problem-solve and move things forward. Your reserved and stoic Virgo rising is your outward facing persona, protecting the vast tenderness nestled just beneath. In this way, you sort of have the best of both the dreamy, fantastical world of your mind and the sound, earthly realm which you physically live. 

More than anything, you want emotional security and stability in your relationships, whether professional, platonic or romantic. Your colleagues know you as the get-things-done team player, which means you are highly valued in the workplace. In your intimate relationships, you find balance in both giving and receiving care, and you are exceptionally good at both. In the past, you may have had a fondness for fuckboys in the past (Aries and Libra - here’s looking at you!) who knew how to fuck you but not treat you well. As you get older you truly seek that healthy balance of all things in your romantic relationships, understanding that your emotional range is a gift to be admired, not taken advantage of. While you are certainly attracted to those brooding artist creative types, typically try to stay away from people who cannot give you that sense of emotional security in the long term.

When you meet Min Yoongi at an intimate listening event, his eyes dark eyes fixed as he sips his whiskey, you initially brush him off as just another work-obsessed idol fuckboy rapper your friends warned you about. Your reluctance quickly disappears after he engages you in conversation, pleasantly surprised by Yoongi’s genuine nature and way with words which are simple and deliberate yet profound. A true Pisces with a moon in Virgo, Yoongi has an air of mystery alongside with a sense of both intensity and calm - an intoxicating combination draws you in. There is no doubting your mutual attraction - he can see right through you to your natural delicate inner world. He is one of the few in the zodiac who can match your emotional intelligence, and in that moment he sees everything that you want. By the end of your conversation, you are buzzing with arousal - and not just because of the drinks. You can practically feel his smirk on your body as you add your number to his contacts before he slinks away backstage.

The relationship you have with Yoongi is, at its core, purely emotional and highly physical. It is not even a full month before the initial hardness of your persona melts away and you’re sneaking out of the office to spend time with him. Spreadsheets and menial work tasks seem dull in comparison to evenings spent in the studio with Yoongi fucking you in his work chair. You tend to be relatively traditional in bed, sticking to what you know works and works well, but Yoongi makes sense an almost spiritual endeavor. Through his unabashed sensuality and love for pleasure he is able to bring out an even deeper, kinkier side of you that you haven’t previously explored. You are not the biggest fan of casual relationships, but with him you feel a sense of trust that allows you to fully let go and access a different side of yourself. Only Yoongi could have you acting out of character and answering 1am texts. I have been thinking about you all day. Come to the studio.

Beyond the physical, you two connect emotionally and fall for the beauty of each others’ minds. The Pisces in him all at once sentimental, artistic and sincere in his approach to life and how he thinks about the world. A broad thinker, he does not shy away from impassioned on social justice, philosophy, and society at large - and in being with him, your entire worldview expands, too. But what hooks you is how this operates in tandem with his Aries in Venus, which makes him direct, purposeful and in-charge. This is reflected in his lyricism and music, which he shares with you during long weekend afternoons and late nights in bed. Though you meet Yoongi at a point in his life where he is more career-focused, he proves to be the ultimate lover during this time: providing the hot sex and deep compatibility you crave from a partner. Despite the relationship fizzling out over time, you are happy to know you can look back on this time as a positive experience.

Months later, in a rush to work, you are more than embarrassed when you clumsily run into a stranger, effectively spilling your entire latte in the process. You are instantly reassured by the strikingly handsome face and warm smile that greets you as you scramble to your feet. There is a moment of pause, a purely magnetic pull between you - almost as if you have both met in another life. Tae is an old soul, with a wisdom way beyond his years, and your intuition signals that this is someone who you want to get to know. A prolonged conversation ensues, leading him to ask to see you again - perhaps when he is not covered in coffee. While he slow and trepidatious when picking romantic partners in the weeks that follow (you date for months before becoming official) by the time you do there has been a deep friendship there that is not easily broken. You grow to adore the complexity of his personality as he does yours. Both highly intelligent and social, you are drawn to Tae’s ability to charm a crowd or play it cool as he chooses to. In your relationship it play and create a fantasy for you to enjoy as easily as it is for him to focus on the little details, making sure your affairs are in order. This type of balance, which you try to achieve in your own life, is ultimately exactly what you need in a partner. 

Existing on opposing sides of the zodiac, the term opposites attract aptly applies to your relationship with Taehyung. While he brings spontaneity, whimsy and structure to your world, you help him explore his tenderness and romantic side that exists beneath the surface. As many of his exes could tell you, one could spend a lifetime trying to crack Tae’s emotional code, and it is really only you that is up to the task. Initially, you definitely struggle with the nature of his lifestyle which takes him away from home fairly regularly, and as much as you admire his hustle you can’t help but long for more time with him. With his sun in Capricorn, Taehyung is a caretaker and he values steadfast, hard work. He is relentless in pursuit of his goals, and while he does not expect you to be the same, he does require an understanding of the grueling nature of his profession. This force you to build upon your independence, 

You are far from neglected in this relationship, however. As noted, you need stability and that links directly to reassurance. While Tae is not always physically there, you know that he is always just a phone call away - anytime, anywhere. Thanks to his Aries moon and Sagittarius Jupiter, you also have a freak on your hands. While he absolutely wants to care for you and provide, that desire is not limited to the finances. While he is away often he makes sure to let him know you are on his mind. On your lengthy conversations over the phone, Tae can often sense the neediness in your voice, his tone lowering into a seductive growl as he coos into your ear. He adores making you beg for him as he riles you up from his hotel room, knowing exactly how to make you tick. When Tae takes the drivers seat, you are more than welcome to hop on for the ride. You could get off to his voice alone, your focus waning as he talks through all the ways he wishes he could touch and please you. Ah, so you miss me? Show me just how much, baby. I want to see you - all of you. Yes, he has a folder of your very tastefully taken nudes on his phone, and he adores every single one of them.

You enjoy following his pace, loving nothing more than reuniting after his days and weeks away for work. When he is home, you likely don’t leave for days on end - why would you, when you have everything you need right here? Your home, likely off in the countryside or by the sea, serves as safe haven for the two of you to retreat into at the end of a long day, a place where you can truly be yourselves. You and Tae are both homebodies at heart, and the sanctuary you establish together reflects your fondness for simple comforts and little luxuries. Equally kind and loyal with high moral capacities and integrity, your opposing traits overall complement each other in tandem with your shared fundamental characteristics. Together you act as true partners and best friends, the world you create together described as nothing short of magical. 

[bbq-hawks-wings]

Series Review Pt. 2/3

Part One

Part Three

Continuing the trend, lots to read under the cut.

In part one we established that the central conflict of the series as a whole is not so much a black and white “good guys side vs bad guys side” but of a much more complex societal problem stemming from individual choices and series of choices made by individual people and the impact those choices have on others. This is the heart of the current conflict between Hawks and Twice.

Twice and Hawks share many things in common and have been shown to develop a genuine friendship in their shared time in the PLF. This, however, has not changed the fact that they are still functioning from opposite sides of the central conflict - at least the institutional facet of it. Each of them has taken up a position fundamentally opposed to the other in attempts to bring about their prospective “big picture” futures, but that comes with the added emotional baggage each carries from the events that have happened to them in their respective pasts.

The visual direction of the scene enforces this concept. Each one is seeing the other literally from a different angle and in a different light. Twice is on the ground prone in a room where the only exit is blocked while Hawks stands alert and at attention over him, obscuring the only source of light entering the room. 

From Twice’s perspective Hawks’ face is obscured- the harsh light from behind casting a dark shadow across any features that would clue him into what Hawks is feeling - and he has to use the context clues he has available (posture, words, immediate events) through tears and adrenaline to interpret how to respond to Hawks. He’s been so suddenly thrust into this situation he literally and metaphorically can’t properly tell which way is up from where he lies. (Note how Hawks’ silhouette is sideways and looming over him in the same direction as Twice would be seeing from his place on the ground on page 13.)

From Hawks’ perspective Twice is knocked off balance and panicking like a cornered animal, completely unaware of the larger situation at hand and how they arrived here. When the perspective of the camera shifts and we can see his face again for the first time we get a completely different picture of what’s going on. Importantly, we can see in the change in perspective a closeup (usually used to highlight the key emotion) of Hawks’ face, complete with a somber and compassionate gaze that Twice is incapable of discerning right now.

Read this section through again twice. The first time use only the frame from Twice’s perspective and the second time read it with Hawks’. This is something I’m actually intrigued to see the anime handle because depending how deep the divergence in perspective goes, even the vocal performance may be different depending on the camera angle.

Twice sees a sociopathic, unempathetic monster who has used, abused, and thrown away his sincere offer of friendship to get what he wants and then has the audacity to try to convince him to play the fool again to get Twice to betray his friends for an easy way out. Hawks sees a person who feels betrayed and scared so Hawks is trying sincerely to explain to him what has been going on in order to be transparent because that’s the only way he can think to communicate the fact that he still values Twice, ending on the note that he believes that while Twice has crimes to answer for, he is still a good person who deserves to have a real shot at a happy life and that Hawks is personally invested in making that a reality if he’s willing to take the offer and trust him.

Hawks is operating as an enforcing tool of the law, but while he believes that law is set in place for general stability and safety it takes a human to human connection and cooperation to save someone to whom the law is blind. On page 16 when he says, “I don’t want to fight you, Bubaigawara!” he’s identifying with him not as the villain Twice, but as a person with an identity and will separate from the personae he’s crafted for himself over the years. Hawks would probably use his own real name to try to hammer this point home if there was a way to naturally do it. If Bubaigawara continues to resist and fight Hawks cannot make the case to others that he deserves a second chance. 

The exact memory that comes to Hawks’ mind is Twice’s words, “Anyone who helps his friends can’t be all bad.” Hawks is trying to say in this scene, “I’m your friend! I’m trying to help you! I know you see me as the bad guy, but I want to be your hero so please let me save you the only way I know how! Please trust me!”

He needs the cooperation, but Twice resists and Hawks has no other choice but to operate as law enforcement for the sake of the greater good. Twice has chosen to be a “villain,” so Hawks has to be a “hero.” All those feathers were for Twice in the case Hawks needed them, and now Hawks has to subdue the Sad Man’s Parade alone as well as Dabi whom neither knows is on the way.

That’s the bad news, but the good news is that hope is not lost. 

This is where I repeat my mantra of “we won’t know specific, individual fates until they happen." However, I think there are notable observations to keep in mind as we watch these final battles unfold.

Coming off of the discussion with Twice and Hawks, many including myself (and arguably even Twice) have gotten hung up on whether Hawks will choose to join the League eventually. Where we are now, I think it’s become a moot point almost not worth discussion anymore. If he does, we’ll see it soon; but Hawks seems to recognize that as long as the core complaints of the individual League members - and any of their sympathizers, for that matter - are not directly addressed, some other criminal force will come alongside and clash with them continuing the cycle of bloodshed and violence as influential leaders focus on gaining power until they are absorbed or achieve their end goal of complete anarchy and societal destruction. (Remember, he’s been following the League and their movements at least as far back as Kamino.) We saw it with the MLA, we saw it with the Shie Hassaikai, and even with Stain - along with the League of Villains, it began with a guerrilla group of revolutionists seeking to right a societal injustice; but if and when a separate opposing force of revolutionist outsiders cannot agree with them a battle ensues until one is subjugated and the strength of the loser is granted to the victor. Until the underlying issues are addressed, this cycle will only continue.

This is also to bring up the fact that the League of Villains is genuinely strong in terms of interpersonal loyalty but as an organization with foundational core values and a unified end goal has been fractured and shaky since the beginning. We saw those particular cracks most prominently just before the fight with Gigantomachia when lack of outer conflict began to highlight the inherent lack of unity in the LoV, only to be interrupted once again when some outside force stirred up a reason for them to work together for survival. Remember, all of the current members of the League of Villains were initially attracted and recruited because Shigaraki falsely appropriated Stain’s ideology. Dabi has stated he wants a world where heroes are obligated to their families first and that thinking of the misery he’s left the survivors of killed heroes “drives him crazy.” Toga wants a world where she has a network of unconditional support without feeling repressed. Twice wants a world in which he can trust others and be trusted and useful despite his bad luck and occasional mistakes. Spinner has clarified he needs a cause to believe in and fight for that supports outcasts like him, and Mr. Compress’s reasons for joining the League are simply to challenge the current status quo instead of mindlessly embracing it.

Shigaraki’s nihilistic dystopia of “burn everything to the ground” is not necessary to achieve any of these goals, and if enough confidence in alternative solutions and doubts in Shiguraki’s loyalty grows in the minds of each member of the League it could genuinely fall apart at the seams, though that isn’t to say that the League isn’t an incredibly tight knit and loyal group - quite the opposite, they’ve constantly shown to be willing to risk life and limb for each others’ sake - just that they’re more concerned with tearing down the current order than restructuring a cohesive new one. However, if the context around their unity has genuinely shifted to center around Shigaraki himself as a symbolic leader as it's been implied since the fight with Gigantomachia and the MLA, this will be clarified very quickly.

Even for most other villains we’ve encountered through the series this violence-first upheaval of society is not necessary to realize most of their goals. Gentle Criminal sought to shake up heroes’ apathy and overconfidence in their strength - La Brava following him closely because of her unwavering loyalty to him as a person - and even Stain was not opposed to the concept of heroes, just an institution of heroism that breeds greed and apathy instead of elevating the ideals of heroism. 

There have been exceptions like the Shie Hassaikai (who sought a complete erasure of quirks from the human genome) and the initial ideology of the Meta Liberation Army (a world ruled by the strong with completely unimpeded use of quirks) that would have required an entire shift in society on a cultural, governmental, legislative, and economic level; but for most the heart of their issues with society is an issue of the heart - that is, a cultural shift is necessary first and foremost to alleviate the problems each of these criticisms address.

This drastic but necessary change has been difficult to achieve up until this point because most of the mouthpieces for these cultural criticisms are either not weighty enough to carry traction without the threat of violence or are held by those motivated by personal vengeance who are not guaranteed to sit and talk  about peaceful options even if the opportunity was presented to them. The “outsiders” are so deeply ostracized in the current social and political climate that they can’t get a word in edgewise to those “inside” who go mostly unaffected by the shortcomings the outcasts are attempting to bring to light. This is where the series’ proposed solution enters the stage.

[cookinguptales]

I've a small query (if it doesn't float your boat, no worries!) I was interested in how you got into learning languages, what led you to it? I've become curious since learning a new language as an adult has only increased my awe of multilingual folk (additionally, I vaguely remember a post about a request in exchange for a donation to charity, and wondered if there were any you'd like a donation to)

First of all, good luck with the language learning! It’s not easy as an adult, but I do think it’s worth it, both in terms of cultural fluency and brain elasticity.

My answer to the language thing is actually extremely complicated, so I’ll be putting it under the cut. I’ll put the charity stuff above the cut so more people can see it.

— I’d just like to warn you, though, before I start, that I have been locked in this house for over a month with no respite and I HAVE A LOT OF WORDS AND FEELINGS IN ME SO THIS POST HAS SO MANY OF BOTH OF THOSE THINGS!!

anyway

There are so many charities that I want to donate to now that it honestly makes my head spin. Every time I look at a site like GoFundMe it kind of makes me want to cry. So a lot of donations I’ve made have been to like local businesses, restaurants, etc. who will close down without help. (Also a lot of local native groups, who are disproportionately suffering right now.) I’ve also been donating to various food banks — Philabundance, a Philly-centric charity that deals with food insecurity in general, is a good one. That was a regular of mine even before the outbreak. I’ve also donated to a lot of the local services in the small town where I’m in now, though you’ll need to PM me if you want the name of that. (It’s… very small.) 

Off Their Plate is another great charity that’s been working with small restaurants (who can’t open for business) to get food to first responders. They’re partnered with World Central Kitchen, which is another fantastic charity that helps out during disasters. Plus well-known ones like Feeding America, No Kid Hungry (important while school is out and kids aren’t getting breakfast/lunch there), Direct Relief, etc.

(I uhhh may have overstrained my charity budget the past couple months. It’s odd how that adds to stress and relieves it at the same time.)

I tend to avoid religious charities, especially Salvation Army, because they’re occasionally discriminatory in how they distribute resources and we no longer have laws & oversight to make sure they don’t do shady shit. So I just avoid them in general now. I also avoid the American Red Cross because they’ve been known to misuse funds. Research is key!

I also worry about some of my regular charities, like Immigration Equality & Rainbow Railroad (helps LGBTQ people in dangerous countries immigrate to less dangerous ones), the Native American Rights Fund, various local abortion funds, RAICES (provides legal services to immigrants & refugees), the ACLU, Dysautonomia International, the Rainforest Action Network, etc… A lot of them are getting fewer donations than they’re used to because we’re in the middle of such life-shattering events.

If you are really interested in making a donation (please, please, please do) those are all good options. I also fully recommend looking up needy organizations, services, people, etc. in your own area. I try to donate to a healthy mixture of national/international organizations, local needs, and temporary issues du jour. (Disaster relief, bail funds for protesters, fighting new discriminatory laws, etc.) I would genuinely appreciate any donations, especially if you find a cause near and dear to your heart that I would never even hear about. Anything along these same lines, y’know? If you have anything you’d like me to do in return, just hmu.

I constantly stress about who to donate to — there are so many good organizations and so few dollars to give them — but at a certain point, every dollar to a cause you believe in counts. Every dollar you donate helps to make the world a little bit better for at least one person. That’s what I have to tell myself to calm myself down, haha. So even the smallest donation you make to any of these groups would mean a lot to me.

Anyway, onto the language stuff:

For me personally, I grew up bilingual. Deafness runs in my family, so I learned sign language from a very young age. Note: I say “sign language” rather than ASL. I learned sign language kind of organically, which ended up making a mess later in life. My parents mostly taught me, but so did my daycare (at a deaf school) and so did my babysitters and so did other family members, etc. The point is, not all of them used the same sign language. There was a wide mixture of ASL, SEE, and home signs and my current signing style is… problematic. lmao. My family all understands it (hey, they taught it to me) and I can have conversations with American sign language users, but I know they can’t love my signing lmao. I’ve considered sitting down and taking a legit ASL class for years, but there are so many classes I want to take… I don’t know.

After that, it largely became a case of taking languages whenever they were made available to me. I’ve always liked them. We moved around a lot when I was a preteen so I went to a lot of different schools. (4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade were all different schools.) It was rough at home and hard to make friends so I guess I threw myself into academics a lot. My sixth grade school was an odd one; it was a 6-8 grade school and you were supposed to take a crash course in three different languages in sixth grade so you could choose one and take it in 7th and 8th grade. I ended up taking Spanish, French, and German that year. I liked French best! But then we moved so it was kind of moot. (And I hated German, sorry Germans. My mouth doesn’t like the noises. It didn’t help that my teacher was weirdly sympathetic to Nazi-era Germany…? But I guess that’s another post.)

When we moved to Florida, you had to have special permission to take language classes in 7th grade. (FL doesn’t have great academics.) But since I’d already had some Spanish in NC, they let me take it! And then I moved schools again. This new school, my 8th grade school, I’d be in until I graduated 12th grade years later — but the employee turnover at that school was almost comedically bad?  I took Spanish for like a year and a half there and had three different teachers. So at this point I’d had 5 different Spanish teachers, all from different countries (where they spoke slightly different Spanish!), all reteaching the same ideas over and over again because they didn’t know where the last teacher had left off. In the end, my last Spanish teacher sent me to the school library with some textbooks because he felt like I was very good at languages and he couldn’t adequately teach me in the environment he’d been thrown into. (My high school was very terrible. So he was right.)

SO I SWITCHED TO FRENCH. I took French for 3-4 years in high school (can’t remember when I started) but the same shit started happening. By the last year, my French teacher had the French I, II, III, and IV students IN THE SAME CLASS and she just put the advanced students in small groups and had us do independent study. Sigh… Around this same time, I started three other languages. At this point, I was getting kind of accustomed to self-study so I applied for a Latin class in the Florida Virtual School and took a year of that. I also spent a summer studying at the University of Chicago when I was 16-17 and learned Middle Egyptian then. (Yes, I was an ancient cultures nerd even back then.)

The Japanese has always been an odd case. Like I said, my 8-12 education was fairly terrible. They had this thing where they used a computer program to teach kids math and the teacher kind of taught along? When I transferred to the school in the middle of 8th grade, the teacher didn’t know what to do with me so he just plopped me in front of a computer and told me to do as much as I could. They started me in… Pre-Algebra, I think? Which I’d already taken in sixth grade. So I ended up getting through Pre-Algebra, Geometry, Algebra, and Algebra II, which… wasn’t in the teacher’s plans. I’d kind of finished several years of math in like a quarter. And then they didn’t have any more classes. So he just told me to like. Sit quietly and amuse myself for the last few months of school?? (Terrible, terrible school.) So I went to the library and found a book about Japanese and started teaching myself that. I really, really liked Japanese! Like it’s a language that just clicks really well with the way my brain works, I think. It’s very logical, I like the syllabary, etc. And I think growing up signing helped me with pictographic languages like Middle Egyptian and Japanese. My brain easily connects visual symbols with concepts.

When I went to college, the plan was honestly to learn more Egyptian and start translating, and I kept taking French to help me read old research in various ancient study fields. I ended up transferring out of the NELC major, though, due to some ethical problems… I guess that’s another post. Several years into my RELS/FOLK degree I went to my parents like. Look. I love learning this stuff but none of it’s useful. Remember how much I loved Japanese? Can I go back to learning that? I could translate that and that’s a legit skill. So I applied to a program through my school and studied in Japan for a while and ended up really doubling down on that language. Weird how I came back to it years later, but I guess it was always the one I loved best.

I have a mind that’s very pattern-based, so I guess I’ve always loved learning languages and the patterns behind them. (This may be why languages with a lot of rule exceptions, like French, irritate me.) They’re like puzzles that I’ve always enjoyed teasing out. Unfortunately, the way my education bounced around meant that I never got a good grounding in most of those languages, so I’ve largely lost them. I can still read French fairly well and my Japanese is good… My Spanish is like. Enough to get me around in the southern US. My German is abysmal. I remember very little Latin & Middle Egyptian. (It’s been over 10 years, I guess.)

So I guess what I feel the need to say to you is that if you don’t use it, you will lose it. I did well in all my language classes. They’ve always been fairly easy for me. Like. Straight As, no problem. I don’t say this to brag. I say it so you know that even for someone like me, whose brain is fairly well-wired for languages, it’s very, very difficult to retain languages when you’re not using them. If you’re not used to taking languages or you started late in life, it’s even harder. So even on the days you don’t want to practice! You gotta practice! Ganbare! Bon chance!

[piamii]

JP joker / KS sangwoo

hi, this is my word vomit about the comparison between joaquin phoenix joker and killing stalking sangwoo because i adore both characters. they’re similar in a lot of ways but also different. similarities: -both victims of physical abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect by their families -both abused by their mothers -both exhibit what would arguably be considered “psychopathic traits” (symtpoms of Anti-Social Personality Disorder). i haven’t looked into the DSM criteria for ASPD for awhile and i’m also not really interested in trying to diagnose these two nor do i specialize in personality disorders. even so, i want to distinguish between having ASPD and exhibiting the violent traits commonly associated with ASPD in the media. there are many nuances to this distinction. if we conceptualize ASPD as a neurological inability to experience empathy, we can distinguish the receptive, passive aspects (e.g., not understanding others’ distress, not feeling the need to comfort, etc) from the “active,” more “conduct” aspects (e.g., killing animals, physically hurting sentient beings just to see what it’s like, etc). in that sense, it’s much different to simply not have empathy than to act in ways that significantly hurt others because of it. it’s indeed common for those who don’t have empathy to hurt others, but the degree to which ASPD individuals hurt others is not fixed. tl;dr not everyone with ASPD is a serial killer. so Arthur’s and Sangwoo’s development into people who callously kill others is a journey that is ripe for debate and learning in regards to the topic of the nature of ASPD. -an idiosyncratic aspect: i fell in love with the storytelling and richness of background history of both characters but i didn’t particularly LIKE either of them as a person. -both of the stories don’t address how either character got to the current stage of their life (did arthur just drift until he found his clown job? did sangwoo finish school and then live alone at his house - where did he get money to sustain himself? inheritances?). obvioiusly these details arent’ vital to the plot, but i was actively curious about them  -i believe that for these two characters, severe discrete AND developmental trauma events formed the basis on which these characters developed maladaptively. i felt very deeply connected to both stories because i viewed both series from a developmental trauma perspective, which is an area that i think about and work with on a daily basis. -work-related soapbox: it breaks my heart when kids don’t have a flying chance in hell to live a decent life from a young age and furthermore have very little chance to foster and find the type of interactions that would bring slow and gradual healing to their lives. it’s a vicious cycle that feeds into itself - the more violent and fucked up shit that happens to you, the more violent and fucked up shit you do. the more violent and fucked up you get, the less you get chances to have prosocial interactions because your actions make people not want to treat you well. and as a result, you live in a world where it doesn’t seem like genuine and positive human interactions can possibly ever occur, because they have not ever, for you.  -it’s not enough for us to just UNDERSTAND arthur or sangwoo - could we have helped them enough? helpers are only human as well in that we can only crawl inside so much pain and must maintain the right emotional boundaries in order to survive and keep doing what we do. -hypothetically speaking, we could have ALWAYS helped more. that’s not the point. the point is, the way we are as a society and as individuals, would we have been able to help enough? and what is enough - no killings? (i live in the US, so i guess i’m speaking from US society perspective). the saddest part of these series is that i don’t know the answer to my own question.

differences: -sangwoo appeared to be socially functioning at a  much higher level of than arthur. social: arthur didn’t seem to pick up on many social nuances or display strong social skills other than his bright and receptive demeanor.  - it was unclear why that was: was he never exposed to appropriate social interactions in his developmentally sensitive periods? it’s possible that with a mother with Severe and Persistent Mental Illness (SPMI) that school attendance/engagement wasn’t particularly a priority, which would have significantly reduced his social exposure. his mother does not seem like she would have facilitated healthy peer interactions anyways if he did attend school. this is complete conjecture. (this could have been the case for Sangwoo too, making my point moot) -Sangwoo’s mom definitely had some issues, but we aren’t sure what they are, while we at least know that Arthur’s mom received diagnoses by the forensic system (Schizophrenia and Narcissistic PD, if I remember correctly). as a person who works in the field, i don’t take diagnoses at face value without further consultation/records/personal assessment, especially Personality Disorders. but i’m inclined to believe that Arthur’s mom was psychotic- there’s likely going to be less diagnostic ambiguity/differentials to consider when someone is experiencing psychosis. -unlike sangwoo, we got to see how arthur became joker; in contrast, we saw how sangwoo’s shitstorm, significant turning points of the in between, and the psychopathic result - we never got to WATCH the moments of internal shift for sangwoo (think refrigerator scene, bathroom dancing scene, getting fired from his job, finding out that his coworker fucked him over). - which begs the question: WERE there discrete points of internal shift for sangwoo? the even bigger question - are there always/usually discrete points of internal shift for serial killers? put in another way, if they had gotten help earlier, would they have killed people? i think we can make educated guesses in both cases that if they had come from loving and attentive families that they likely wouldn’t have become serial killers - we see clear links between their traumas and their violent behavior, even if it’s not completely clear why. but HOW much earlier? -furthermore, i think arthur’s lack of social skills fed into how his transformation played out (vs sangwoo). this view will become clear as i rant more but just hold on we’re going home - i felt angry at society for letting down Arthur, while i only felt a pervasive sense of sadness towards Sangwoo’s mom for letting down Sangwoo. i say this because this guided my very different reactions to these two characters when they started killing people -we don’t know when sangwoo started acting with Callous-Unemotional (CU) traits, but we DO know when arthur did. there were many turning points throughout the movie, some small and some big. the first big one that immediately comes into my head is the subway shooting and subsequent bathroom dance.  Lol fuck im tired but i m not done yet. WIP

[kimberlyannharts]

OKAY......SO............

psycho path was. a book i read today.

thoughts under the cut - spoilers for the psycho path, obviously

psycho path has gotten.....pretty Mixed reviews here in this fandom.........and after reading it it’s pretty easy to see why.  the psycho rangers are fan-favorites (as we understand from....the lightning figure nonsense) and from what i can tell, one of the few things in the franchise that the fandom is 100% satisfied with in terms of their story and execution 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand this book takes them and turns them into something else entirely through the use of.....RETCONS

the psycho path: trek spent decades in human mode buried under the moon as a result of being defeated by the 1969 rangers

MMPR #25: trek was literally blown up from the inside while he was in monster form

the psycho path: after the psycho rangers were defeated in lost galaxy they became data cards again

to the tenth power: the psycho rangers were literally blown up into tiny robot bits and never seen or used again

the psycho path: the psycho rangers are ACTUAL LITERAL BIOLOGICAL PEOPLE THAT ASTRONEMA BRAINWASHED 

to the tenth power: robot. bits.

normally i really wouldn’t mind retcons and continuity changes (pr does this in the show itself ALL THE TIME and different universes and whatever) but in this case it’s aggravating because it seems like these changes were made JUST to keep the psychos relevant to a story that SHOULD HAVE BEEN karone’s.  she’s essentially a background character in a book about five new characters we’ve never met and need to establish and develop in about one hundred pages (as you saw from the cap up there, trek rewrote the personalities of the psychos, so yes, they are essentially new characters here and not the psychos we know from the show)

i understand the psycho rangers are fan-favorites so a comic featuring them was inevitable, but doing it THIS way just felt very...unnecessary?  the psychos don’t need a continuation of their story because they were finished - they were enemies that were defeated.  defeated literally TWICE.  the unresolved story we had set up was karone learning to make peace with her time as astronema, especially since this book was meant to be a continuation of that “trial of astronema” story from the 25th anniversary book

meanwhile the most we get about her journey to reconcile with her past is....one panel of exposition 

like okay karone spending months in an alien monastery and realizing that astronema is a part of her and her deep inner feelings could be a whole book in itself why did this get packed into one panel????  because we needed to learn that the psychos were really brainwashed people and not robots????? 

it doesn’t help that even at the end of all this there’s no resolution of karone and andros’s conflict - they end the book same as they started, yelling at each other over their different viewpoints of the psychos, which like, was interesting at first but with no middle ground achieved it just comes off as mean-spirited, with karone constantly trying to get andros to connect the psychos’ redemption to herself and him freaking out about it 

along with the ambiguous ending with the redeemed psychos, it doesn’t feel like an ending, which.....why wouldn’t there be an ending.  are you planning a sequel??  a miniseries??  i just need SOMETHING that lays astronema to rest considering that all the comics that feature karone in some way (shattered grid, beyond the grid, trial of astronema, this) focus on the astronema angst but never offer any real closure to the whole thing.  it’s starting to get redundant and i don’t WANT such an interesting concept to become redundant!!!    

i don’t think the book is terrible, there’s good stuff here, parts i did genuinely enjoy, and i understand the author's intentions.  but the problem is that it shoots itself in the foot immediately with the initial concept, redeeming the psycho rangers, which is something that is unnecessary, out of nowhere, and adds confusing background lore that needs time to be explained, which takes away from what it SHOULD have been, which is a story about redeeming karone (which is also unneeded imo since the subject was handled pretty well by itself in lost galaxy, but considering how they never bring up any of lost galaxy’s events besides kendrix and the psychos’ death, it’s a moot point lol) 

final note karone didn’t morph this entire story and i’m Mad.  why do pinks in these graphic novels never morph.  

[takerfoxx]

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 4, Episode 13, First Impressions!

“Don’t…do it.”

Well, haha, okay, things are fucked!

Right, right, okay. So, lots to cover, but the long and skinny of it, nearly everyone we know kinda lost big time.

Glimmer lost. Her plan to reactivate the Heart of Etheria backfired as predicted. The truth of the weapon horrified her, and now she is the “honored guest” AKA captive of none other than Horde Prime himself, with her hated enemy Catra to thank for her continued existence.

Hordak lost. All of his attempts to conquer Etheria in order to impress Big Brother were ultimately for naught, because as it turns out, Horde Prime don’t give two shits about any of that! All Hordak managed to do was just give himself individuality, which Horde Prime finds gross and casually obliterates, re-assimilating Hordak into the collective. I mean, it turns out that Hordak was a name he gave himself! He wasn’t supposed to be a powerful and worthy servant of Horde Prime, he was just supposed to be another cog in the machine! Hell, at one point he even didn’t want to go back, specifically when he was with Entrapta! Oh, my heart.

Adora lost. Yes, she managed to overcome Light Hope’s control and stop the superweapon, thereby saving both Etheria and the galaxy at large, she also had to destroy the sword in order to do so and annihilate Light Hope, cutting off her connection to She-Ra and rendering herself powerless. Yeah, I know she’s still She-Ra and will figure out how to use her power without the sword, but consider how much of a blow that must have been. The sword was must have felt like the thing that made her special, and Light Hope really was her mentor. And now it’s all gone, and she’s (from her viewpoint) just Adora now, with her friends still in danger and Horde Prime now in control.

Also, can I just take a second to point out how awesome that bit about Light Hope’s internal struggle was, with her snapping back and forth between Mara’s Light Hope and the current one? That whole “Don’t…do it” thing with her tone changing was genius, and actually got me misty-eyed.

Catra...sort’ve lost, but also didn’t. On the one hand, her complete and utter breakdown was finally completed. Hordak learned of her deception and straight -up tried to kill her, thereby rendering all of her plans that she desperately put so much of her hopes of validation into completely moot. And sure, she did manage to defeat Hordak in single combat (and oh man, that fight was incredible!) because that’s what she does, but in the end, she was left with nothing! No Horde, no allies, no conquest, and all of her friends were gone, either by having left her for her enemies and/or having been driven away. And then who should show up to further drive in the knife than the person with the most talent at breaking people down?

Double Trouble’s scene with Catra was magnificent, pure cinematic gold. They used all of their vast knowledge of everyone that Catra felt betrayed by or had driven away to hit her again and again, laying bare all the lies she had been telling herself and showing her for the terrible person she had become. And yeah, I had seen that picture of them as Adora pressing Catra’s hand to their cheek and thought that it was a legitimate reunion, but the truth was just so much worse.

However, it’s telling that the person they saved for last wasn’t Adora, wasn’t Hordak, wasn’t Shadow Weaver, or Entrapta. It was Scorpia, the one person who accepted Catra unconditionally, didn’t leave her due to a conflict of ideals, wasn’t trying to use and manipulate her, or had been backstabbed by her in a moment of panic. Scorpia left because she could no longer be around Catra, because Catra was abusing her like she had been abused by others. It was the final proof that Catra had become everything she hated.

And she just takes it.

She doesn’t protest, doesn’t deny, doesn’t attack DT even though she probably could have. She just cowers and lets it happen. Because it’s exactly what she needed to hear.

DT gets away and technically is one of the few characters to end this season by getting ahead, but while I’m sure they certainly enjoyed their performance of breaking Catra down, I can’t help but feel that it was in part benevolent. As if in, DT genuinely was fond of their little kitten and laid out some harsh truths for her own good. Doesn’t mean they didn’t enjoy every second of it though, being the neutral agent of chaos that they are.

God, that scene was so good.

However, having the full weight of that realization come crashing down on her turned out to be good for Catra, painful as it must have been. Because it snaps her out of her breakdown and gets her back on her game, and thanks to a bit of quick thinking and a silver tongue she manages to save Glimmer, Etheria, and (I assume, time will tell) get into a position of power with Horde Prime.

And you know what? I’m calling it now; this is the start of her redemption arc. I honestly think that her reasons for saving Glimmer were benevolent, and she’s going to try to help her former nemesis. Also, I’ve mentioned how Glimmer and Catra are foils for one another before, but any ever notice that Catra has one black sleeve on her right arm and Glimmer has one white sleeve on her left. ENEMY BONDING AHOY!

In regards to Horde Prime, I love that everyone was predicting him to be like this big, hulking monstrosity, like Hordak on steroids or something. Instead, while he is bigger, it’s not by much, and his design is actually more androgynous, with a very muted color scheme, all whites and pale greens. And yet…it really works for me. It kinda drives in his fixation with order and perfection. And I love how he’s unfailingly polite and gracious while committing atrocities, only to snap at the sight of Hordak’s “imperfection.” I wouldn’t say he’s terrifying like a giant berserker would be, but he is incredibly intimidating. I am very much on board with seeing more of him.

But then, it could also be his uncanny resemblance to another favorite villain of mine...

Look, I’m just saying, the similarities are there.

Scorpia getting juiced up on the Black Garnet was fucking incredible. I love how giddy she was with her new powers, but also remaining true to herself, even apologizing when she hit Catra’s henchmen too hard. And even with the things the way they are, she still asked Glimmer not to hurt Catra, and her first instinct when everything went to shit was to seek out Frosta and Perfuma to help them, even though she barely knew them (that’s my girl!). Oh, I hope the Runestones are still working so Scorpia can keep her powers, and I love that she’s a full-fledged princess now. Though I do wonder: what happened with that Fire Princess that supposedly got corrupted? Is that graphic novel canon? If so, what happened to her Runestone, and why wasn’t it included during the power up?

And one final note: good on Lonnie, Kyle, and Rogelio for finally deciding that they’ve had enough and splitting.

Y’know, I really do love this show. It just makes me happy. I love these characters, I love their personalities, I love their relationships with one another, I love their world, I just really love this show. And while I do not want it to continue past its planned end-point, I am going to miss it when it’s gone.

End. Scene.