#i feel like ive done these before but im pretty sure it was in relation to how tai lung would think of him

[myriadsystem]

.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

i adore reading your analytical posts abt soc so much jts not even funny; stumbling upon your account was like a coming across a goldmine 🙏 ALSO I RLLY WANT TO ONOW ABT THE SHE TREATS US LJKE MARKS ESSAY IVE NEVER THOIGHT ABT THAT RLLY also i loved the mr crimson post anw im sorry i’ll shut up now

Thank you so much, I’m so glad you like them!!

This is the first time someone’s submitted a question so bare with me because if there’s any way to do this wrong I’ll probably manage it, but here are my thoughts on the red herrings :)

She’s treating us like marks - an analysis of Leigh Bardugo’s use of red herrings in Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom

*warning: CONSTANT SPOILERS AHEAD!*

I happen to be an absolute sucker for a good bit of foreshadowing, I think if it’s done well it’s one of the best literary techniques out there, so it’s something I always like to try and be on the look out for when I read. With books that I go back and reread, in this case many many times (seriously I’ve never specifically counted but I’m pretty sure I’m at over ten times each for the duology, it’s ridiculous), I like to find the things I didn’t realise were foreshadowing the first time round. When rereading six of crows and crooked kingdom, I realised that a lot of the things I expected to be foreshadowing didn’t actually come to fruition whilst other, seemingly less important, details were the actual foreshadowing. I LOVE IT! It’s genius, because it leaves the reader worrying about one thing so they’re too distracted to realise the groundwork is being laid for something else. But you know what that makes me think of? Kaz’s ideology of “What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet? […] Tell him you’re going to steal his watch,” and “you have to let the mark feel like he’s won”. Leigh Bardugo literally cons us, and she tells us that she’s doing it in Crooked Kingdom when the group are certain that they know where Inej is being kept, but Kaz says “Too obvious. He’s treating us like marks”. GENIUS

So I compiled a few of my favourite examples (in no particular order), if you know of any I’ve missed please add more I would love to see them!!

The cannon at the Ice Court. When the Crows first arrive in Djerholm they see a cannon built into the the cliff face, a defence mechanism for the Court, and Kaz says what might be one of my favourite underrated lines of his: “I’ve broken into banks, warehouses, mansions, museums, vaults, a rare book library, and once the bedchamber of a visiting Kaelish diplomat whose wife had a passion for emeralds. But I’ve never had a cannon shot at me”. Jesper jokes that “there’s something to be said for novelty” but then continues to say that a cannon would be useless against a ship as small as theirs and that it’s designed for “invading armadas”. They don’t mention the cannon again, but it stuck in my mind when I first read it as a looming threat, a reminder that the danger wouldn’t end when they left the court. So when they arrived in the harbour was I expecting soldiers, or a heartrender, or for Nina to take parem? Nope, I was too busy worrying about the schooner being blown to pieces - especially when the Crows all have such specific painful and/or traumatic experiences linking to water, with 4 out of 6 of them being drowning related. But that isn’t to say that the waiting soldiers at the dock weren’t foreshadowed. All the way through Leigh Bardugo constantly reminds us that Matthias had never seen black protocol in action, and that his time in the prison sector had been brief, but she lulls us into a false sense of security by letting us believe that the secret bridge onto the White Island was all Matthias was hiding. We trust him by this point, so we don’t expect anything to be different to what he’s told us, even though this is an aspect he couldn’t possibly have predicted. Bonus points for the fact that Nina’s poor well-being in the aftermath of the drug is foreshadowed by a joke at the awful Inn they go to before the job; the food is disgusting and she says “when I don’t want to eat, you know there’s a problem”, and in Crooked Kingdom it’s many times emphasised that she’s unhealthily losing weight and her appetite has vastly decreased, with Matthias buying her chocolate biscuits “in the hopes she’d eat something”.

The poison pill. Leigh Bardugo worked very hard in Crooked Kingdom to make us think that Nina might die. We went into that book knowing there was a strong possibility that she wouldn’t come out the other side; we knew very little about how she was coping with parem withdrawal at the end of soc, but we had seen around a minimum of five grisha being destroyed by the drug so far. (That’s a guess I haven’t actually counted). So we went in with the idea that she was already in a precarious situation, and even though we begin to see her regain herself she struggles throughout the novel both physically and mentally in the aftermath of the drug. Matthias begins to dream of being lost on the ice in the worst storms known to Fjerda, knowing that she was out there somewhere and that he could not reach her. This sounds like it’s foreshadowing her death. Then when the pair go to the Ravkan embassy, Tamar gives Nina a small yellow pill that Genya made; she explains that it kills instantly and painlessly, saying “we all have them” to make sure they cannot be drugged and enslaved by the Shu government, who are hunting for grisha with the Khergud at the time. Matthias is terrified by this, but Nina just slips it into her pocket without a second thought. At that moment I thought that Nina would almost take the pill only to be stopped by someone else, because it felt too obvious that it would kill her, but I did wonder if the Khergud would be the ones to stop her and so she would still be lost. But the pill never gets mentioned again, except when the Dime Lions come for Nina at Sweet Reef and she briefly remembers that it’s still in her pocket. Then never again. And Matthias’ dreams were, of course, actually foreshadowing the FESTIVAL OF PAIN AND TORTURE that is chapter 40.

Mr Crimson. I’m so glad you like my Mr Crimson idea! Basically I posted saying I think that he represents death in the novels and I’ve also talked before about how I think the Komedie Brute costumes that the characters usually adopt are representative of their character; Kaz the Madman, Nina the Lost Bride, Inej and Wylan the Grey Imp, and Jesper and Matthias Mr Crimson. I won’t go into detail about all of them but if you’re interested the post is on my page, but with the idea that Mr Crimson represents death it’s very important to me that, although all of them wear his cloak at least once, he is the only Komedie Brute character taken on by Jesper and Matthias (at least to my recollection, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong). So of course I would argue that Matthias taking on the image in Crooked Kingdom foreshadows his death, but in that case what does Jesper’s represent? I came up with two options but I actually think you could combine them into one: it’s a red herring to make us align him with the literal death of Matthias, whilst actually foreshadowing the metaphorical death that his addiction and mental well-being are driving him towards as he tries desperately to stop them - in his own words to Colm “I’m dying anyway, Da, I’m just doing it slow”

Oh god sorry that this is yet another long post I hope y’all enjoyed this enough for it to be worth the time it takes for you to read all my ramblings 😭

Tagging people who asked for this one in the replies to my essay titles post - @the-magnificunt @flerkenkiddingme @luridorangeandviolentviolet @snowblack-charcoalwhite

[ndoandou]

Ikevamp bois playing modern games part 2

Vincent

Vincent is way into.. gartic phone

Qnd perhaps skribble.io

Like way into it

He would sit down 12 hours in front of the computer and guess what HES BEEN PLAYING GARTIC PHONE AND SKRIBBLE.IO IN A LOBBY OF RANDOMS

12 HRS IN HES STILL NOT DONE WITH BOTH GAMES

Hed obv speedrun a drawing in a short period of time and manage to make it look *chefs kiss*

Imagine if skribble.io had a vc feature tho

No no, like imagine if people were actually toxic in this goofy ahh game

They would yell down vincent down the mic telling him to go play with photoshop

Randoms are salty that vincent can draw and portray even the most ridicilous prompts which results him with the highest score always

Not to mention hes really good at guessing even the shittiest drawimgs from other ppl

"Broer how- that persons drawing looks ridicilous, even arthur's dog could draw that"

"Don't be mean theo! I could guess the drawing from the emotional connection i felt from it"

Jean

Jean has a shitty brick nokia phone

And he really loves playing snake II

No im serious

Well i suppose momte doesnt trust him with any other phones than that

the last time he was given a smartphone he downloaded some hack and slash game

took the word slash literally and then proceeded to cut the phone into two

comte was too stunned to speak

momte didn’t want his kids to miss out on gadgets but he cant have jean destroying his smartphone

BINGO! a nokia 3310 it is! 

jean didnt know how to react at first, but he found it easier to navigate and thats when he found out baout snake II

found it a bit pointless at first but despite saying that, he doesnt realize that thats the only thing he does besids fencing

snake II is his pre workout

the only thing he will be doing before his fencing practice

before meals

and before bed

‘‘jean are you sure you haven’t had enough of snake II..?’‘ comte asked causiously as he never know how his son Jean would react

jean looked at comte and stayed silent for a hot minute

‘‘no’‘

Napoleon

OK FLASH BACK TO MY E BOY NAPOLEON FANART FROM 2021

its official

He plays league of legends

Napoleon is deffo a jungle/top main

Jungle preferabbly

Bros actually cracked coz hed turn any non meta champs into an absolute beast

I see him being especially good with pantheon jungle

Hed play league with jean tbh

And jean would be a dedicated top

But i dont see jean being the best player..

No, like imagine napoleon defending jean from "top troll" and getting spammed "?" On his lane

Napo would literally go to that persons lane just to steal their minion last hits

If hes feeling extra hed even use pantheons ult to yeet over to that player to ks all the minions on that person's lane 😭

"Jgl troll gg"

Ok napo is actually not toxic and is rly nice to play with

Hed even supp for you if ur learning a new champ

Hes only toxic to people who are toxic to his buddies

Comte

Ill be honest

Comte looks like someone who would download all games from every ad pop up he gets

And im talking about anything gacha related

He does not care whether the game is explicit or not as long as he can collect pretty characters

Is he interested in the gameplay??? Probably not.

"For what reason did you spend $$$$$$ on xxx game???" Leonardo asked as he scrolled through comte's in game billings, cocking an eyebrow

"Hm? Well i simply wanted to collect all of these lovely looking characters."

"Without leveling up your characters?"

"Non"

"Do you understand how to play this game?"

Comte only looked at him with his unwavering smile

"honestly this is the most ridicilous spending ive witness from you, heh" Leo snorted

"Much appreciated, but i dont recal asking for any input, old friend" comte retorted

Leo looked at him and sighed

"Honestly at this point i shouldn't be surprised"

.

.

This took me forever to upload because i coulndn't figure what type of game comte would play then one day i was like AHAAAAA

Also i didn't proof read as always so pls dont chop my head off :"))

[sugurusbbg]

“I still remember 3rd of december, me in your sweater” itadori x reader

Info : you n yuuji are best friends. You are lovesick and want a relationship and sulk at all the couples you see. Read out to find out the rest… :)

You lie in bed while scrolling through instagram. You like the photos posted by a cute couple in matching clothes. You tear up at the sight and then open tiktok up.

You expected to see loads of relationship tiktoks however… you end up seeing SINGLE relatable videos. Of course tiktok HAS to make you feel a need and want for love.

Your heart had a desire. A desire for a long and meaningful relationship. Every sight of love made you vomit. You wanted it more than anything in the world. You would always tell your best friend yuuji about your hatred towards couples. But everytime you did he would always have some sort of disappointed or displeased look.

It was the day before heather day ( 3rd of December where a loved one would give you their sweater ) you obviously knew you would have a breakdown on that day so you and yuuji decided to have a sleepover on the 2nd to make you happy.

You packed your bag excitedly to arrive at your best friends house. After packing very little you made your way out the door. You knew itadori would offer you some of his clothes and stuff so you didn’t really bring alot. Only necessary stuff.

You close the door to your house and look at the road to see yuuji. He rolled the window down in the passenger side and told you to quickly get in. It was snowing outside so it was really cold.

You opened the door to yuuji scar and welcomed him with a bright warm smile. Closing the door you look at him for a couple seconds and he smiled to himself before saying.

“You look really pretty right now. I love your hair. It suits you.”

“Oh thank you yuuji! I guess i did it just for you.” You giggle.

However yuuji didn’t take it as a sign of a joke. In fact he blushed at the thought of you styling your hair as it is just for him to look at.

The journey to yuujis house wasn’t long so when you arrived you and yuuji hurriedly went up the stairs. As always the bed was really comfy with sk many pillows and blankets on. On the table beside his bed was your favourite snacks and your favourite drink.

It was 9:41pm and you guys were getting ready to sleep. You ravage through itadoris closet and pull out one of his shirts. You brang your own shorts and thought yuujis shirt would look big on you so you decided to use one of his oversized shirts.

After putting on the shirt you see itadori walk into the room closing the door behind. He brings in a massive bag. He hugged it against his chest so you don’t know what it is. He places it on the window sill after closing the curtains.

“What’s that yuuji?” You question.

“Oh it’s nothing important, you can see what it is tomorrow don’t worry.” He smiled to himself while a tint off pink flushed onto his cheeks”.

“In the morning?” You look up at him.

“Sure, but I’ll give it you. Alright?”

“Yeah! Okay!.” You smile up at him.

“It’s time for bed now. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Mhm!” You say while sleeping on the bed beside his.

The sun shined onto your resting face as you start to open your eyes. You find yuuji sat on his bed staring at you until he looks away quickly noticing your sudden movement.

“Goodmorning yuuji.” You manage to say.

“Goodmorning to you too.” He says with happiness.

“It’s time for you to go now I have to help out at a shop I volunteered. I’m sorry I hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh of course I don’t mind!” You say waving your hands at him.

You and yuuji manage to change into your regular outside clothes and your ready to go out to the car.

You and yuuji make your way outside and he holds the bag he had yesterday. You peek into it then look up at him.

He nods at you and gives it to you.

“Can I open it?”

“Oh uh yeah you can.” He says with his hand resting on the back of his neck.

You begin to open the gift bag when you mentally scream inside. You look up at yuuji and you can’t tell if the cold was making his nose blush up or his emotions.

Inside was a sweater a letter with hearts on it and some flower petals inside. You take the sweater out and hug it. You have tears in your eyes. As soon as a plushie drops out the sweater you were for sure your tears fell down onto your cheek. Yuuji picks the plushie up and grabs hold of the sweater and puts it back inside the bag.

You try to wipe your tears but then for a sudden moment. Where everything around you stopped. Yuujis hand was now on your check. His thumb wiping your tears on your eyes.

“Listen I know you have always wanted to be in a relationship and stuff. You would always come up to me speaking out your jealousy of couples. I knew heather day was coming and I thought I’d give you a sweater. Maybe you could like, I don’t know. You could feel loved? Especially uhh by me.” He says with trying to avoid eye contact with you.

You grab his hand and hold onto it. The sun shined onto you and yuuji like you were under a spotlight.

You stand very close together like nothing in the world mattered but apart from what was infront of you. Yuuji itadori.

Itadori’s face comes closer to your face. And before you know it your pulled into a passionate, loving kiss. Better than anything you have ever imagined. It was your first kiss. And hopefully your last. The kiss seemed to last an eternity until you both break away.

They both stare at eachother. For a long time. After that there was silence in the car. With you hugging onto the bag.

Was the kiss really appropriate for the situation? Did it mean anything to him? What was your relationship with him gonna be like now? What now? Your head was a pile of dizziness and hope into a moment as more than friends.

You end up home waving yuuji goodbye however he is not looking at you. You then look back at him driving away with out a single word or action from him. You look shaken as to what will now happen between you and him. Will you remain friends?

.

The next day you earned a text from yuuji. He said he was going to come over. You then rush to get changed and you did your hair as you did the day of the sleepover.

A knock is on the door and you then hesitate to open it. Eventually you do. Then stood before you was a blushing mess. Itadori was sweating until he finally spoke up.

“Listen that kiss. It really did mean something to me. You keep complaining about all these couples about. You seem more focused on all of them that you don’t even pay attention to me. Someone that is deeply in love with you. I am in need to be in a relationship. And not just any. One with you. And only you. Every since that kiss my lips were kissing something. It was missing the taste of your lips. The shape of them. The feeling of it. I really like you okay. I love everything about you and I just thought I’d let you know.”

Your heart is touched at his words. You seem to puzzle up all the words he has just uttered out. You look up at him staring at his lips.

You put your hands on his cheek and bring his head down. You kiss him. It was warming. Passionate. You both cherished that moment. You both made eye contact.

“So what does this make us?” You question.

“I don’t know. It’s up to you if you wanna make it work.” He smiles seeing you in the sweater he gave you.

“Of course it will work.” You both smile to eachother.

AAAAAAHHHHH. THIS IS THE LONGEST IVE DONE AND OMGGGG. I FEEL SOOOO PROUD OF THIS. I SOBBING NOT GETTING A SWEATER AT ALL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS! IM SRRY FOR ALL THE SPELLING 🤍🤍

[astranite]

*more grumpy grumbling and astra yells at the void ( that evidently contains lovely friends)* (i mostly just need to put this somewhere other than rattling about in my head.

Im disappointed but not even particularly surprised that ive only managed to read two of the readings and come up with half if im generous of a thesis statement though ive had all day. And even then im having trouble convincing myself that its not utter nonsense that im spouting, likely related to not feeling great about stuff rather than actual skills. Probably. Plus i need to actually research to get more sources and Write the bloody thing. I was even enjoying the reading and analysis in the morning but then i lost track of that and now im mostly just stressed because i really need to get this done. and its not something that’s possible to pull off the day before which im very aware of, and im not sure i even know where im going even though i do Know that this is something i can do and figure out but i cant even talk it over with anyone because no one knows what im going on about (online study is a fucking joy) but my cat who at this point probably deserves to be coauthor of this assignment.

And in addendum ow my everything hurts from sitting at my desk because my body is kinda shit.

((And then the thunderbirds episode polls thing is stressing me out and has pretty much from the start hence i havent really been participating, because even though it’s supposed to be a fun and non serious thing, i really dont like the whole pitting episodes against each other premise, when so many are so good for such different reasons and id rather have fun analysing and appreciating this and even comparing but not with any aim of seeing which is “”best””. But everything in the fandom seems to be about the polls lately. Plus it’s genuinely upsetting people too. So going to sit in the corner with a pile of blankets as a non participant.

…*dissolves into screeching*

[i-sveikata]

GIRRRRL

I often check your unhinged playlist if you added something new. And oh boy. The last couple of songs tell me so much about this chapter 😂

I can tell some of them are for Vegas POV but they can be as well for Pete. So many feelings!!

So can I ask if you decided for the chapter title?

I will need to add some of these songs to my main playlist and they forever will be my VP songs 😂

I'm very excited for the chapter ☺️😩

OMGG hahahahahahhaha they're not all specifically chapter related! i usually just chuck potential songs into a separate playlist and then give them a few listens before deciding to add them to the unhinged playlist. but i have been listening to a lot of songs lately so that's why so many new ones have been added!

yes a lot of the songs could be either vegas or pete vibes for sure!!

i'm not fully locked in yet could change my mind last minute which i have done before hahah but it's looking like itll be rock bottom by eat our heart out

oh go for it!! happy to share the music vibes for sure. ngl ive legit been scouring horny spotify playlists for sexy songs that suit them hahahahahahaha so i totally get it.

ah im so glad!!!! i am steadily getting through it now just a few scenes to throw in for the first half of the chap and then a few more missing scenes scattered throughout the end- can you tell i don't write in order hahahah.

it's also looking like vegas' POV is actually going to be pretty brief this chap and then will lead into the next one (was not expecting pete's inner thoughts to take up so much space in this chap but to be fair vegas is unconscious for more than half of it lol)

[calocera]

Your posts about SNW Spock makes me so curious, could you please explain how they've done him wrong since he seems very different from the original series :O Are they making him more human despite the SNW taking place before the og?

yeah i can! im not the best person to talk about it probably since im a pretty recent trek fan and also tos/spock arent parts of trek i care about as much as a lot of other fans, but i have opinions for sure!!

firstly just up front i do not like ethan peck as spock. he does not look like spock or act in a way i am satisfied with. it feels like the only reason they cast him was because he has a deep voice. so i am going forward in this with haterism for him specifically not JUST how he is written in snw

Spock is written not like a vulcan but like an anhedonic human. actually not even anhedonic, just like a human raised in vulcan society trying to blend in. like there is nothing about him that feels genuine he just feels like woobiebait for 2012 tumblr to make flower crown edits of because he is awkward and quirky. every scene involving spock is a joke about him and his demeanor, everything he says is a wink wink nudge nudge "lol vulcans act like this and its so stupid lol logic is silly" like i can physically feel a laugh track whenever hes on screen. i enjoy jokes about vulcans but it isnt funny when there isnt anything else. its like spock showing emotion, it isnt satisfying when its a constant and not a little treat peppered in. in snw hes stifling a giggle or screaming in pain or being oopsie awkward silly every time he gets a focal scene, it takes the magic away because now it isnt a rare break in character its just how he is. Ive seen a lot of people defend this aspect as him being young and therefore less mature than in tos, but hes like approaching 30 :\ i get him being less mature but he doesnt act like a sheltered 30 year old he acts like someone freshly 18. at this point its just like…MAKE A NEW CHARACTER!!!!

as a point of contrast, i like how uhura is written in snw (in season 1 anyways, she has barely appeared in s2) she is obviously younger and is growing into her spot on the crew, but they arent hinging her character on the 1 or 2 pop culture uhura moments, retconning anything about that that doesnt align with modern media fandom, and calling it a day; they actually expand on her character outside of like idk her doing a sexy dance and her sitting at the phone (though i guess it is easier for her since she had barely any character in tos anyways). meanwhile they DO do that with spock, his bullet point top 10 iconic spock moments of sometimes being awkward and showing emotion are now the only things he is allowed to do. tldr flanderization

i also think its interesting that it is this way since ethan peck played spock in discovery and there hes the exact opposite. hes extremely serious and vulcan; which fits the tone of the show (regardless of my opinions on the tone of disco). i just dont understand how that spock translated into the snw spock. they are not the same guy.

anyways on to the biggest plot related gripe with him...how he interacts with women!!!yay!!

first theres how they decided to have multiple episodes about his, apparently, strained-yet-loving-and-involved relationship with tpring. the inclusion of t'pring feels stupid because other than the 1 minute of cheap "oh i remember her!" from someone seeing her on screen for the first time what point is there to her returning when the ONE canonical fact about her is that she and spock A: had an arranged marriage, B: did not meet in person since they were children, and C: hated each other. its not like there is a huge contingency of t'pring/spock shippers holding out since 1967 so what value does reintroducing her as a character serve? i assume its as some kind of attempt to give a woman who previously had no real character something to do, but her existence on snw is STILL only about spock and her relation to spock so there isnt any sort of feminist level up happening. including her was not interesting enough to justify retconning the plot of the most iconic episode of star trek. especially when multiple episodes tonally and stakes-wise rely on you caring about them as a couple, and anyone watching who knows who she is already knows that her and spock dont have any relationship to speak of in the future so who is this for? if you really really just NEED spock to have sex with a woman why not make a new character? that would also suck but at least it wouldnt be timeline interfering. im not even a huge continuity purist "oh no!!the timeline!!!plotholes!!!" but when the situation is the writers deliberately breaking the continuity in large ways and the outcome isnt even fun? stupid.

and now his relationship with chapel. i am way more annoyed by this one since its just gross. so from tos the only thing with them is that chapel has a crush on him and spock is not interested. also worth noting that its such a non-plot related thing that it only is revealed under the influence of alien drug virus that makes you horny. and they decided that not only was that enough to base a whole reciprocated romance arc around, but now since theyve introduced tpring back into the story, spock is now a cheater??? what is the POINT of breaking canon to introduce spocks girlfriend only to go "well actually hes horny for his coworker" like...that isnt how love triangles work youve just done a character assassination. the man who would rather kill his best friend than have sex with his wife is now fucking both her and the woman who confessed to him and he got so mad he crushed a computer with his bare hands. ok 👍. i just hate that they chose spock to be the romantic center of the show. anyone else could have been the character who gets into relationship drama why spock? there are multiple new characters who could have taken up the position. and its not like spock has nothing else to do as a character without it

to say things specifically about the most recent epsiode since it was particularly annoying and showed things that happen throughout the series:

firstly spock just does shit thats stupid. illogical even. i know the whole logical fallacy moment with vulcans but when it isnt a point of note in the show and rather just happens as if its a normal occurrence for spock as a person im like...he would be a laughing stock on vukcan and not have any of the positive reputation he holds.

the plot of this ep was basically that spock gets turned completely human and they just miss literally the whole point of it. vulcans have MORE emotion than humans, they ACTIVELY suppress it. yet when spock is turned human he just experiences human emotion completely emotionally? he should be having an EASIER time suppressing his emotions. and OMG he gets a BONER because he sees a hot WOMAN LOL LOL isnt that funny? spock got hard isnt that hilarious? its just so cheap. they act like being human makes him a completely different person, they played it like the voyager episode where belanna gets split into human and klingon BUT in that case she was literally split into two different people (this ep had a lot of issues too ie racism but that’s a different can of worms); here spock just becomes human he still has the same memories and training and history...why would he forget what its like to be a vulcan. they could SO EASILY make excuses too but they just didnt care. and anyways bada bing bada boom the ep ends with him and chapel hooking up which i already complained about and could complain about more.

i think thats already too much so im gunna stop myself here but trust theres more i hate and other people have probably talked about this better than i have :')

blade nation

[houndfaker]

how come you’re so crazy about kikuno? asking as someone who only knows her from arena

honestly anon a good 50% of it is “i literally don’t know”. maybe it’s the fact that she’s so underrated that kind of stokes my obsession a little? the other half of it is well. not even so much just her roles in each story she’s involved in but just general stuff about her as a character beyond that. i’ll give my general reasonings

(beneath a cut because wow i started rambling really hard)

im a sucker for the general trope of an utterly devoted character that serves under another, potentially to the point of viewing themselves as a tool. combine that with the general aesthetic of a battle maid and im pretty much sold.

further combine that with a devotion so sincere that it corrupts, and you have me acting up. kikuno being so hellbent on setting mitsuru free of her family’s burdens that she is willing to sacrifice the entirety of sees for it, that she goes as far as drugging her so she might sleep through it all, was just insanely interesting to me. kikuno clearly despises takedera, thinks lowly of him, but joins forces with him for the good of providing peace to the person dearest to her, even at the risk of being hated by her.

she also technically falls under that other trope i like where she has a history of being a lab experiment. which i sorely wish they would’ve done more with! the horrifying implications of a child that was sold to ergo research!! a survivor of that dark hour experimentation that’s effect is typically known only through strega (and eventually sho by extension). takedera threatening her with returning to those experiments is a genuine hair raising moment to me. she’s the type of character you imagine would have a persona, but she never seems to awaken to one, only having the potential to interact with the dark hour.

shes also outright a cool addition to exploring more of mitsuru’s backstory and home life. the drama cd in general gives insight to mitsuru as a child and i came away feeling even more fondness for a character i already love intensely. (seriously, kikuno describing their first meeting and how much of a little shit mitsuru was about trying to make friends with a withdrawn and bitter kikuno…so sweet)

i just really get the sense that the writers have a fondness for her. she almost feels like someone’s oc. she’s practically a main character in the drama cd she originates from, she briefly cameos in a later drama cd promoting the movies (and has a brief appearance in the movies!!!!), then goes from loose mention in the first arena game to a fully visually implemented character in ultimax with portraits and voicework, and later she’s portrayed in the stageplay based on ultimax. surely you could chalk a ton of this up to needing a plot-furthering character and kikuno as a pre-existing concept would more often than not fit the bill but i like to imagine she’s just a Well Loved side character. i sincerely hope that love persists into reload. im DYING to see her again, even if it’s just a brief moment.

SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER. in the second scene shes in she tells the limo driver escorting her and mitsuru to the manor to run over a crowd. shes like an angry attack dog for the first half of new moon that mitsuru needs to tell to relax. she fucking pretends to break a ring that normal people use to access the dark hour, acts like she loses all of her memories in the past 6 years to takedera AND TO MITSURU BEFORE BEING LIKE OH LOL IM FINE BTW. IVE ALWAYS HAD ACCESS TO THE DARK HOUR I JUST PRETENDED TO USE THE RING AND NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT IT. she blows up the iwatodai dorm kitchen because she impulsively came over to help bake something as an apology to mitsuru, and doesn’t tell anyone that she’s never cooked before until after there is a fire. when mitsuru requests a beach-related activity for the senpai squad to partake in she sends an entire cruise ship to them. in arena she intentionally leaves the top open on the artificial dark hour-inducing box so that the police investigators handling the materials snoop into it, trigger it, and get attacked. she stays On Site in a damaged helicopter during ultimax so she can shoot down and blow up shadows and smiles and winks while she does it like she’s having the time of her life.

its not anything New i guess but the way she carries herself does kill me. woman who behaves so put together but is so not. she wants to commit unspeakable violence. shes smug and cunning. also she can be incredibly fucking stupid and i chalk that up to having grown up somewhat sheltered in the same manner as mitsuru. the perfect woman i think

gay ass homosexual woman. if a relationship in p3 is paralleled with junpei and chidori it’s so over that’s them telling you something gay is happening. you cannot refer to somebody as “the one destined for you” and be not gay about it. it does not help that she then compares herself to yukari who is also ridiculously gay with mitsuru. it’s also like why are you as a woman revolving your life’s work around providing comfort and peace to another woman. she’s ridiculous get me out of here.

her arena design is like catnip for me. what is she so dykey for!? her fucking chest harness....

another thing is like just generally the Potential she holds as a character. i would've liked to see her directly encounter more members of sees beyond her first appearance. i think her and yukari's dynamic in particular is really funny just based on the last bit of dialogue between them in nm/fm. something about the kinda one-sided like. kinship kikuno appears to have with her and like i wanted to see how yukari would further deal with her and her antics but they dont really interact on character developing-based terms in ultimax....i like to think about them anyways. ive also manifested the concept of strega being loosely aware of her from their time as child experiments under the kirijo group, particularly ive been wanting to try writing or drawing something grounded in the dynamic between her and chidori consisting of how differently the two ended up and how that might create further tension than what we got in their brief canon interaction...im just Rambling at this point but its genuinely a big part of her appeal to me.

well while im here. i feel like there might be this impression that i ship kikuno with either yukari or mitsuru but like generally speaking i find it hard to put into words what the deal is. i dont really consider either of them in a romantic relationship with her and yet there is some kind of psuedo-polycule shit going on there in my brain. i dont pair them but theyre doing gay stuff n proximity to each other. do you get it. its like two married women and the maid that they do yuri shit with

she sucks a little bit and also shes so awesome. im her biggest fan. thats all

addendum: PLEASE, one p3 fan to another, do yourself a favor and either listen along to or read the scripts for the drama cds she appears in. (and the whole p3 drama cd catalogue in general because honestly its made up of really great stuff between sincere lore shit and just characters goofing off during daily life.) i'll link the specific ones below for ease of access also.

New Moon (Youtube) (Script) Full Moon (Youtube) (Script)

[malewife-yoomyeongwoo]

Another tsctir au idea i had is one where both the han brothers are s rank hunters; HYJ is still a perfect caregiver, he just awakens later than HYH (whose guild is already established)

The au takes place sometime after HYH went no contact (almost 3 years) with HYJ, and, in this au, HYJ ends up meeting people and finding meaning in his life and moving on from HYH (kinda; not really). So, instead of trying to awaken and getting into trouble, he ends up living domestically with YMW (due to certain events) and getting involved with BYM and maybe even Do Hamin (not 100% sure about this yet), since theyd have known each other prior to the dungeon break (in this au; probably, not sure yet)

So hes living a completely normal life as an unawakened person

Then, due to events related to BYM and her situation, HYJ ends up awakening and gaining the caregiver title as an f rank. His keyword phrase is something along the lines of “im here for you” “ill protect you” or “ive got you” (i havent decided yet)

He registers his awakening, knowing not to give out all the info related to his skills (HYJ is still kinda feral in his own way thanks to his experience dealing with adults trying to take his, and his brothers, inheritance when his parents died; hes just not as traumatized this time around) and continues living normally cause hes got people around him to keep him from trying to go into dungeons (and cause he has people around him who love him, he doesnt go into dungeons)

Except, the caregiver title doesnt work the way it does in the manhwa or LN; in this au, the skills he gains are a bit different. I havent figured out all the stuff for it yet, but one of the major changes is that he’s kinda feral about his influenced targets: like a mama bear when a person gets too close to her cubs kinda feral. Hes fiercely protective of them and is unable to tolerate when others try to do them wrong (which is basically normal manhwa/LN HYJ but cranked up to 11). Which leads to him ending up legally adopting? gaining custody of? BYM and having her live with him and being estranged from her family.

All the while, HYH is keeping tabs on HYJ and investigating all the people that consistently interact with him. On one hand, hes happy seeing pictures of his hyung smiling again, but it also makes him boil inside to know that others are able to get close to his hyung but hes stuck having to keep his distance. Hes jealous of them. His hyung awakened as an f rank so he cant get involved with him even if he wants to in order to keep his enemies eyes off of his hyung.

Seeing HYJ look at BYM and YMW with the same softness and care and consideration that he used to look at HYH with has HYH yearning for what he used to have. Part of him wishes that his hyung kept meddling and trying to be with him; to see that his hyung still thought about him and wanted to be with him. He feels worse now compared to how he used to feel before even though he doesnt have to stress about his hyung anymore

Of course, HYJ still misses HYH. YMW and BYM even notice it. But hes also hurt and bitter about what HYH did; feels resentment cause of the way HYH just abandoned him without even telling him what he’d done wrong or what hed done to deserve this kind of treatment, but hes given up trying to see HYH or get in contact after the way theyd chased him out and after his dongsaeng had said some pretty harsh things (the scar runs pretty deep for HYJ). YMW and BYM are both mad about HYH doing what he did cause it hurt HYJ and are also partly why HYJ has stopped trying to get involved with HYH.

When BYM awakens as an S rank, thats when HYJs quiet, non-hunter related, life starts to change. Even with the mixed feelings he has towards HYH, he asks BYM to join Abyss, cause, despite everything, he doesnt want HYH to have it rough and even he knows how big of a deal it is for a guild to have 2 S rank hunters. BYM initially refuses but agrees after realizing she can give HYH a piece of her mind (HYJ is unaware of her plans).

Meanwhile, HYH is angry that, despite all of his work, some brat is putting his hyung in danger thoughtlessly, but he cant show that he cares so he cant even say anything about it cause he doesnt trust a 15 year old to keep his one weakness a secret.

Eventually, HYJ is put into a situation where hes forced to realize that his stats are that of an s rank hunter (due to an effect of a different skill that he has) and that his caregiver title has been updated to perfect caregiver. However, he still Feels like an f rank hunter to other hunters cause he only has s rank stats due to a certain condition being met.

The drawback?

Due to his nature as a caregiver, he is incapable of attacking physically or using attack related skills (or using weapons). So, he has to learn to fight in a way that doesnt involve kicking or punching.

He’s essentially become an s rank support class hunter.

And, because HYH ends up catching sight of HYJ in a dungeon (who’s there to protect BYM cause shit went down badly), especially since HYJ really shouldnt have been in one to begin with, HYH ends up confronting HYJ and BYM, but it doesnt go well cause HYH is kinda hysterical after seeing his f rank hyung almost take the brunt of a boss monster’s attack for an s rank hunter who shouldve been protecting HYJ instead; and HYH is particularly hurt by the way HYJ steps in front of BYM and looks at HYH like hes a threat (HYH hasnt been influenced by the keyword so while HYJ does love and care for HYH, the one he’s feral over, out of the two of them, is BYM due to the influence his skill has on him).

The scene above is subject to change, but, ultimately, HYJ protects BYM and maybe acts like HYH is a threat to her? And HYH gets hurt emotionally and is getting increasingly frustrated/agitated/feral about the weirdness that keeps happening relating to his hyung and hurt cause he cant be near his hyung and his hyung doesnt Trust him.

In the LN HYJ points out how uncomfortable it makes him to see how easy it is for HYH to drink alcohol like its nothing and also how familiar HYH was with it. My guess is, HYH used to drink when shit got bad between him and his hyung or when his feelings became too much so i want to allude to that in this as well (bullying HYH is fun).

Anyways, HYJ cant apply the keyword to HYH cause the the requirements for the skill are different and arent being met. Because the keyword, in this au, affects HYJ as well, its more strict about who can be influenced and who cant. The keyword still needs to be said, but the target needs to trust the user in some capacity/have no ill intentions towards them and the user needs to feel goodwill towards the target. Once influenced, the target is added to the “Family” and become part of the group of ppl that HYJs skills force him to protect.

I want to figure out a way to get Moon Hyuna and SHJ involved with HYJ so HYH can go crazy about everyone else getting involved with his hyung while he cant seem to. So hes feeling like his hyung has left him behind which hurts. Maybe a dungeon break occurs and HYJ is using his chain of command skill which SHJ gets a vested interest in?

I feel like SHJ would call HYH to tease/harass HYH (or gauge HYHs investment in HYJ) by talking about how hes gotten involved with HYJ and asking why HYH had been hiding such a gem so far out of sight. He even talks about adding HYJ to his guild in order to improve the limits of this skill cause SHJ believes, with how dungeon difficulty is increasing, that a skill like this will be vital for the future. HYH is not happy about this development. Neither is BYM cause her ahjussi is in a different guild than she is, but HYJ isnt actually in a different guild. Hes like, an independent contractor who’s contracting with SHJ cause the benefits hes getting from it are worthwhile (they benefit his “Family” and HYH so SHJ learns that HYJ cares about HYH and suspects that HYH still cares about HYJ even tho HYH doesnt act like it; hes really enjoying pushing HYHs buttons).

Then, HYJ learns that he is able to tame dungeon monsters due to a combination of skills which gets Moon Hyuna involved with him as well. He learns this by accident during a situation where he has to protect YMW (he was able to temporarily stop the monsters from attacking him) but he cant influence them for long; maybe one or two orders will get through but thats it. Im guessing the deal he made with SHJ involves him getting baby monsters (which is how he gets peace; SHJ gets HYH to give it to him by flaunting his involvement with HYJ) and taking care of all the rearing costs so that he can try to see if taming and raising them is possible.

In this au HYJ doesnt know why HYH abandoned him. They actually have to talk about it this time and work through it properly.

But seeing HYH go kinda crazy first because of everything that’d been happening and the way he was holding everything in in a “the dam burst” kinda moment is something id also like to add in

Of course, HYH and HYJ will make up and HYH will end up influenced by the skill so, due to part of HYJs skill involving meeting the needs of his “Family”, he can get hounded/surprised by just how much reassurance and love HYH needs and how unstable hes been emotionally due to everything going on (starting with the fact he had to go no contact with his bro to begin with) (so HYH gets the affection he needs; it just takes a while to get there)

I want HYJs skills to be related to being a caregiver that protects their “Family” and helps to fulfill their needs so they can grow optimally similar to how he can optimize awakenings and growth for his influenced targets in the manhwa/LN. I also want him to gain some skills related to being a leader like his (spoilers) teacher skill which acts as a chain of command and improves group coordination. Some ideas ive had for skill titles include: “sharing is caring” where HYH can use the skills of his “Family”, “mama bear” which activates when his “Family” is harmed to a certain extent and buffs HYJ, “Mom’s intuition” a passive skill which lets him know the needs of his “Family” related to optimal growth, general wellbeing, and if theyre being targeted with ill intent, and “Mama’s here” another passive skill that soothes his “Family” and provides healing so long as theyre within a certain distance; its affects are stronger the closer they are to HYJ. Those who are part of the “Family” have accelerated growth compared to those not in the “Family”.

Maybe he gets a skill called “Leader of the Pack” which allows him to coordinate groups with ease? And its this skill that has an effect thats like, “as the leader of the pack (meaning, the “Family”), the user must also be the strongest! The users base stats will be buffed by n% as needed so that they can lead their pack properly” or maybe he gains he ability to coordinate groups when he levels up his skill? Maybe “leader of the pack” allows him to tame monsters? Cause hes exuding the presence of a leader and also has the added influence thanks to his caregiver title which makes them see him as their kin? And because hes a pack leader he naturally wants to grow his “Family” and increase the size of his pack?

I went with the names related to “mom” rather than “dad” cause in the LN most of the immoral immortals thought HYJ was a woman so, since they’re naming the skills, theyd probably call it mom rather than dad due to this. Also its funnier this way cause he wont want to state the actual names of his skills due to this; hes embarrassed by having his nature directly stated like that.

I also would like for there to be a moment where some of the s ranks realize that HYJ is much Much stronger than he seems. Hes literally an f rank. He Feels like an f rank. Stat assessments deem him as an f rank, but hes Not f rank. Maybe its when his “mama bear” skill gets activated so hes able to play it off as a temporary stat effect thing? Cause he acts like hes still an f rank too; he knows these stats arent really his so he knows better than to act like its all him.

I got some of these ideas from these amazing fanfics i read:

“S-Rank Skill Poison Nullification!” summary:

“Rather than getting famous for his taming skills, Yoojin accidentally becomes infamous for his ability to eat any and all poisons without dying.”

“by any other name” summary:

“Yoohyun-ah,” he asks, “do you want to stay with me?”

“Always,” Yoohyun promises.

Yoojin is a born S-rank, Yoohyun is an F-rank. This changes almost nothing and basically everything for them.

I highly recommend both of them!

[sydneyscarm]

“about the blogger” meme

thank you to @bioloyg for tagging me :)

y’all don’t really know me so this’ll b fun

star signs: aquarius sun, gemini moon, capricorn rising,,, two air signs in my big three might scare u but trust my chart is earth dominant!!!! i promise!!!!

fav holiday: i love christmas! im not particularly religious, and i don’t consider myself christian or catholic like when i was a child, but i love the lights and the music and the gift-giving and general holiday cheer

last meal: lol i think i had a joint for dinner last night honestly. just forgot to eat and went straight to bed after smoking. i’m about to eat filipino spaghetti for breakfast though

current fav musician: faye webster (specifically jonny rn) and beyonce (all of renaissance has been on repeat since its release) and victoria monet (all of jaguar II is insane, grammy sweep i just know it)

last music listened to: probably ctrl (deluxe) by sza on my way home from work last night

last movie watched: taken, that action movie with liam neeson lmfao. but if we’re talkin movie theater viewing, it was the ballad of songbirds and snakes

last tv watched: i’ve been rewatching s2 of bridgerton. kate & anthony the couple that you are.

last book/fic finished: the last book was catching fire (i was rereading thg like the rest of the world) and the last fic i read was an unfinished sydcarmy fic i found literally an hour ago called all things go (all things go) everyone should read it, very good.

last book/fic abandoned: last book i abandoned was speak, okinawa. it’s a memoir about an asian girl’s struggling relationship with her mother and her culture. very good (and relatable) but extremely heavy so i took a pause on it.

currently reading: thg resurgence so i’m reading the ballad of songbirds and snakes, i didn’t get to finish it before watching the movie and i keep getting caught up so it’s taking forever to finish, but im almost done w it

last thing researched for art/writing: i haven’t full-fledged written for fandom in probably years. but i used to research a lot of fighting techniques cause i was deep in the my hero academia brain rot LMFAO

fav online fandom memory: i mostly inhabited twitter fandom spaces so in 2020 i was placed in a ship gc and i met one of my best friends on there <3 so i think that would be it

fav old fandom you wish would have a resurgence: the show is quite shit and not good at all but, for nostalgia reasons, i would love to see fairy tail (anime) have a resurgence. i bet the fics would be soooo top tier compared to when i was like 9 and reading fics on wattpad and ffnet

fav thing you enjoy that never had an active or big “fandom” but you wish it did: this is more to do w me being interested in things once hype dies down and less to do with a fandom actually being active or big, but i absolutely devoured s2 of bridgerton when i first saw it. and i read every single fic in that kathony tag.

tempting project you’re trying to reign in/don’t have time for: i don’t really write anymore and have stuck to silly posts and headcanon threads but i’ve had a pride and prejudice sydcarmy au stuck in my head for a couple days

this was fun now u know some of my life!!! im pretty sure @bioloyg tagged everyone that i come across in this fandom so ive got no one WHOMP but feel free to do this if u see it 😛

[tchaikovskaya]

ive spent too many minutes of my life (ie. > 0) thinking about this annoying man who lives in my computer so i wont say more after this cuz i dont care on a deeper level, but

i know its buzzwordy now but parasocial relationships are/were the bedrock of john green's (and his brother's) career. and he knew that. and he also knew that his fans were overwhelmingly teenage girls. many of whom were passionate mega fans of his who felt ecstatic to be personally acknowledged by him in even the smallest of ways. (and by the way, knowing you have a decent chance of actually interacting with a celebrity online can for sure make you like them more than you otherwise would, because they feel a little more attainable. which again, he knew.) that's why he made a point to engage with his fans on here. his whole Thing was being nerdy and unassuming and relatable and knowing it was him behind the screen talking to you or liking/reblogging your post did a LOT to reinforce that image.

thats why he didnt just cut his losses and leave the website, or (what i think he should have done) wise up and start blocking and ignoring people and being very selective about what he responds to and how. but he wouldn't do that, because the personal interaction is what made his fanbase so robust.

im not accusing him of misconduct (intentionally avoiding the phrase "doing anything wrong" here). but i am saying that his activity on here (before the trolling was in full swing) was pretty calculated and his ego was huge before he ever made an account and it all backfired spectacularly.

[sentientgopro]

My parents are currently trying to figure out a way for me to not have to share a bedroom with my brother, to the extent of considering a room in the garden. I said its probably just not worth it, Ive managed living in the room with him for many years, Im sure I can make do for another year and a half, and she said to me "You can't just put your life on hold like that for a year and a half until you move out". And she has no clue that had an entirely different meaning to me.

Yes, I DO have to put my life on hold until I move out, in a much more severe and damaging way than she realises, because of her transphobic ass.

But regardless of the twat saying it and the irrelevant context, I've been dwelling on those words. Its already getting kinda difficult a month into cracking doing nothing. Ive still got about another 20 to go before I even START transitioning and thats far from an instant problem fix, isn't it.

And I already wanted to think more in detail about how it will go when they inevitably find out, but this has presented a nice opportunity to think about it a bit more. My Dad will be absolutely pissed, plain and simple, to the extent that I'd have to make sure he finds out from a long distance for my own safety. He's gotten very aggressive over alot less. My mother, on the other hand, is a much more complex question.

She's the only one I've really ever talked to about issues (particularly issues relating to Dad, as well as mental issues), shes a psychologist so she kinda has a bit of idea what shes talking about. and she has said, on many occasions, that she thinks I'm very emotionally intelligent. She thinks I know myself very well. So if I told her about something I know she fundamentally disagrees with, will she just forget all that?

The thing is, she's been locked into conservative beliefs, but she can be reasoned with. One example was of a general discussion over the existance of gender dysphoria and validity of trans people, and I convinced her that gender dysphoria is real, there are scientific explanations behind why trans people feel the way they do. And she cannot find an argument against me so she resorts to "Okay, people like that exist, but I think most just do it because they think its trendy" cool, an entirely unmeasurable, impossible to back up claim that I cant even outright disprove so it pretty much ends up as her being right because she just knows better apparently. But, up to outright convincing her to change her beliefs, she can be reasoned with.

And besides, if Im so emotionally intelligent, surely I should belong to the group of people who aren't faking it, by her logic?

Honestly, if she was just outright never going to accept me like him, itd be easier. But the fact that theres a genuine question here makes it so difficult. Like, her helping cover for me and keep it a secret from my Dad and Brother while I start HRT is a genuine, possible outcome. Its also very unlikely.

But, if I could convince her Im not making it up, which should work in theory, and if she holds the belief that I can't just put my life on hold, its a forseeable outcome. And I don't know how I feel about that.

(Short bit of context for the next bit) One of my Sixth Form teachers has gotten extremely ill, we don't know the details but basically, hes disappearing for a while and we dont know if hes ever coming back. He is the ONLY member of staff in the school capable of teaching the subject. So, my mother arranged a meeting with the head to ask what happens next, and raised concerns over my education. In return, the head tried to ignore it by pinning it on me, saying I'm struggling already, and basically turn it around on me as if our only teacher isnt disappearing.

So I tried defending myself in a few ways, one of them being, since the last round of tests, Ive been feeling like, ALOT better, better motivated, to an extent that is affecting me on a day to day basis and making it easier to get work done, so there should be a massive improvement since my last tests. So after the meeting, naturally, my mother wanted to know what it was exactly that changed, and I realised I fucked up. The thing that changed was realising I was trans and realising that, eventually, I could be happy, and I have something to look forward to and work towards. So now shes gonna keep asking and wanting to talk about what it was. She keeps asking to go on a walk and talk about it.

And it keeps making me imagine, far into the walk, after she keeps poking and prodding, just going, "Fuck it, leap of faith". Because the more I dont tell her, the more suspicious shes probably gonna become.

idk, theres no real end point to this. This is more of a vent than figuring out my feelings. Supportive relatives are great, unsupportive relatives suck, but questionable relatives are fucking anxiety provoking. This is nothing new Im discovering here, really, this is a trans experience thats older than time itself. But I've never been a big risk taker, so Ill probably just take the long route and make sure they find out as late as possible.

[pigeonwit]

3, 6, 17, and 29 for the ao3 wrapped asks!!

howre you doin pidge??

im doing ok davey!! chugging along - its tough in this season but youve just gotta keep on keeping on huh? howre you mate?

3. what work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

I AM NOT A FOOL ENTIRE. i know its dumb but being so deep in the 2012 turtle sauce really made me feel passionate about writing again, and i think it paid off. its the fic that got me back into fic writing and engaging in fandom, its got some of my favourite passages ive ever written, i think its some of the best character studies ive ever done, and though a lot of it isnt as clear as it should be, im able to recognize and build on that now. i know ive trailed off on it but i genuinely am still chipping away at it when i can. i know what the ending is - its just a matter of having the energy to write it. but even with that said, im so proud of that fic. it truly is my little baby. and im not embarrassed about that anymore! all works have value, and if the thing that made me finally say 'oh, i want to write' is the thought of a teenage mutant ninja turtle facing unimaginable horrors, then good for me actually.

6. favorite title you used

"say you came on first (i think you came on fine)" for sure. "adeline" is one of my favourite songs and i understand i did kind of misrepresent what the song, specifically that lyric, was actually about (that the narrator needs to compete with someone who has already 'come on first' to adeline) but i still think that kind of fits? jack is competing with davey's responsibilities and self-sacrificial nature, as well as his stifling job and oppressive society. the song's just,,, so pretty and that's exactly what i picture when listening to it, two people walking along a park-side pavement, quietly sharing their lives. honestly just listen to the song and imagine jack as the narrator it's so fun. "davey davey, i'm a real good cook!!" - i see it.

17. your favorite character to write this year?

i mean. is that even a question. obviously it's davey. he's my boy, my scribble bibble, and i absolutely love grabbing onto any thread of his character and pulling and pulling until he's completely unravelled. there's so much to him beneath the surface and i love picking it all apart - mostly because i relate to it and it makes a cheap alternative to therapy, but also because in all the ways davey is like me, there are differences there that i want to try and stretch my understanding towards. i think it's going well so far!

29. favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

donnie's dissection in IANAFE chapter 2. i won't go too into detail since it's very. unpleasant. but i've never written something that visceral and gory before, and i'm really proud of it. it made me really appreciate good gory writing, actually. there are only so many ways to describe pain without becoming obnoxious. it's also the very first thing i wrote for IANAFE after reading the TMNT IDW comics featuring jasper barlow and his kidnapping of donnie. the idea just rooted itself in my head and after months and months of only writing, like, a sentence a week, i had written out that whole passage in half an hour. it just unlocked something for me and completely changed my writing style and just how i look at my writing. i'm really proud of it :)

thaaank you for the ask davey you are a sweetheart and i appreciate you greatly and thank you so very much for all the wonderful friendship you've given me over this year! can't wait for a whole new year of it!

[ajdrawshq]

Is there any non-spoilery way you could talk about how isat isn't just about timeloops? because like I do want to check the game out eventually for sure if only because indie fun times but I'm busy for a while before I get the time and tbh I'm just not as curious because I don't know how it's gonna break that formula (also ngl no colors makes me lose 50% interest because I like. looking at colors. lots.)

UHM OK WELL UM. hm. how DO i do this without spoiling anything. im very not good at describing things especially things i Really enjoy so how do i put this . hold on i might need to look at some reviews so i know how to words. ok

as a disclaimer i havent fully interacted with a lot of (if any??) media that has timeloops so i cant say for certain what it does differently from similar media that makes it stand out from others. at the same time ive never seen something that is so directly About Timeloops in this way even if i consider stuff ive heard about in passing but i could be wrong (madoka n utena come to mind ?). ill try to think abt the things that arent Just timeloop related plus the stuff u mentioned and hope that helps it feel more interesting and less generic?

i think one of the main things i can say is that it Really makes you feel what the protagonist is feeling. more than anything ive ever watched or played or whatever . and thats saying a LOT given how much i empathize with protags in games. and its not even just an empathy thing here. both the story progression and the gameplay work in such a way that you experience pretty much everything the same way they do, while still having their own personal stuff u can learn about of course

on that note tho. that is actually something to be careful of for a few reasons. i know ur generally pretty good with darker content so i doubt thatll be a problem for u here (its not that bad tbh but there is IS a warning when u open the game/look at the steam page and it aint lying) but. due to the nature of timeloops. it CAN get tiring and this is very much intended. and this helps a lot w the story and themes in a way that its. like. think how kh days does repetition on purpose. its a lot like that (although i had way easier of a time getting thru isat than days? i cant remember how u feel abt days' gameplay but i think it was positive ? either way getting thru isat was way more bearable than days imo). it does do a good job at balancing this with a couple mechanics that mean u dont have to repeat everything all the time (i had like. Very few actual full loops by the time i finished) and theres ALWAYS new things happening, even if ur super thorough with everything. its pretty easy to do things at whatever pace u feel like and if u wanna focus on the main story only to make it easier it wouldnt take too much away from the experience (tho i do encourage talking to the npcs at least a few times), and theres always a goal to work towards. also dialogue skipping and the banana peel are ur best friends

sort of adding onto that. it really, really helps that u are sharing the experience with the protagonist. not only does that help u relate to them (even if u dont share as many traits w them as i do akvdjsn) but theyre probably the most beloved character in the game and for good reason!! its really fun to see their interactions with the rest of the main cast and the npcs, and watch them all develop in different ways throughout the game. and my goodness all of the characters are beautifully written - at first ur kinda thinking ok its a ragtag group of sillies in an rpg whats new. but their personalities and relationships and hobbies and problems and everything about them is just so well done.. they feel so natural. human even. every conversation feels real to me. one of the main themes of the game is the concept of change, and each of them represent and approach it differently, both positively and negatively. its hard not to fall in love with them as individuals and as a group because they just have so much going on, even the ones i didnt expect to like at all!!

the worldbuilding is also a fun spin on fantasy rpg worlds. it mostly revolves around the area u play in bc well. of course it does. but its vv interesting to learn about all the different cultures within the world and how they interact with and build on the themes of the game. theres all sorts of queer stuff going on and its all handled like a love letter to people who relate, and i can feel it even with what i dont relate to at all!! the way "magic" works and the ways people use it in battle and everyday life is super cool too, makes the whole thing feel a lot more believable and realistic :3 i dont wanna talk abt any specifics bc its more fun to learn abt this stuff ingame

OH AND THE TEXT.. EFFECTS?.. idk what to call that but the way dialogue (both internal and external) is written and programmed is funky as hell (affectionate). it was weird at first bc oftentimes (mostly for humor) its like. almost the way i type actually?? which feels strange in a legit game but it Works. it works so well and adds tone and vibes and a Voice in a way u usually cant get in a game without any voice acting. deltarune is also good at that but this one does it differently enough for me to consider it unique

HAVE I MENTIONED THE ART STYLE i love the art style . its so charming and expressive especially all the talking sprites n battle portraits. simultaneously silly n adorable while fully capable of being serious. and creepy. anyway look at the sillies i love them n their designs dearly (especially Siffrin (1st on the left) and Mirabelle (2nd on the left))

also on that note, the lack of colors....... i both totally understand being put off by that (i also love looking at colors n this part made me feel weird abt it when i was thinking abt getting it at first) and personally enjoy it? without saying anything spoilery (bc its really not), its just another part of the worldbuilding and themes that i now find really fun :3 should be noted that i usually have an anti blue light filter so it mightve been easier to look at w the yellowish tint going on. maybe it even looks better that way ? kinda reminded me of old films now that i think abt it.. neat!!

as a last thing i couldnt quite insert somewhere else. it is equal parts a comedy and a tragedy, and it is so, so effective at accomplishing this. the humor is fantastic and adds to the games' and characters' personality, every tragic moment is . for lack of a better word or phrase. absolutely fucking delicious. and i adore how well it can shift from one to the other gradually or in an instant, or just be both at once!!!! yippee!!!!!!!

aaand thats all i can say. i have no idea if that cleared anything up BUT i encourage u to give it a try bc i do think youd like it in the end. u probably wouldnt finish it as fast as i did but that might be a good thing jfbskndj but yeah!!!! in stars and time!!!!!! its good and i love it!!!!!!!!

[canthelps]

Summer North's incredibly personal Fouth Album-A Little More Time- is OUT NOW! listen here

Happy Birthday @lcvewaslcst

Song explanations under the cut

The Alcott (The National and Taylor Swift)

summer wrote this after the meeting with their lawyers and going to the bar together. its the surprise that molly still wants anything to do with her, about how difficult it is for her to be with her after she knows shes hurt her so much. she doesnt want to get ahead of herself, because she still thinks that shes unworthy of mollys love. “how many times will i do this and you’ll still believe?”

Sunshine Baby (The Japanese House)

written while they were starting to get back together. shes worried that shes gonna fuck it up again but all she wants is just to be back with her wife and its all she can focus on. she just wants life to be easier “well ive gone a little crazy, surely someones gonna save me. i dont know whats right anymore, i dont wanna fight anymore”

I Love You but I Need Another Year (Liza Anne)

much darker sound, written in the depths of the break up. about how she broke up with molly because of her own mental health. she doesnt know how to deal with her mind. “you’re sticking around but how can you stand it? I can’t salvage your mind while im losing mine. and nobody should have to deal with this. but i need you i dont wanna leave you” Also a sick song live because she gets to show off her guitar skills and headbang. probs a fan favourite live. the whole thing sounds like a panic attack

Emily I’m Sorry (Boygenius)

Called Molly I’m Sorry (obviously). An apology song to molly, pretty obvious. she’s sorry for what she did. she shouldn’t have done it. she loves her too much. written a few weeks after the lawyer meeting/the bar. summer coming to terms that she could come back “im twenty seven and i dont know who i am but im becoming someone only you could want”

A Little More Time (Role Model)

Is about summer struggling being in LA, far away from her home and family. Molly is the only thing holding her to LA, so when they break up she doesn’t quite know how to feel about it. Its about her realising that the only thing that will make her love LA again is being with Molly. “in a city with no seasons, in a house thats not a home….am i permanently broken, or is it just the sunshine blues?”

Bad Idea (Girl In Red)

They hooked up while broken up. its literally just about that. they should not be booty calling each other when theyre broken up and trying to figure things out but they do. its a banger and the fans love it. summer wasn’t sure about putting it on the album bc it makes it sound like she cheated. but she and molly both know thats not true and thats all that matters. also the use of darling links back to the previous album

Big Star (Lorde)

another song about how she doesn’t deserve molly. summer does refer to herself as a cheater in this song but once again she never cheated on molly! just a lovely song about how amazing molly is and how much summer loves her. ignore that the original is about a dog. its romantic. “toss up if its worth it every time i get on a plane. i’ve got so much to tell you and not enough time to do it in” was probably written before the break up. when her downwards spiral was starting

Not Strong Enough (Boygenius)

I DONT KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MAN. literally its just summers mental issues getting in the way of her being happy lmao who can relate! was written on the same day as sunshine baby bc shes what? TALENTED.

Gemini Moon (Renee Rapp)

another song about how summer believes she is actually the worst!! anxious avoidant attachment who? no its just her gemini moon. “i bet youre sick of it, believe me so am i….but really i should just be better to you” honestly this one is a maybe for the album but ive been working on this playlist for months and i want to get it done

Anti-Hero (Taylor Swift but the Keaton Henson Version)

do i really need to say it? its me hi im the problem its me?

Everything (Muna)

shes helplessly in love with molly and everything is about her even when theyre broken up. was written deep in the break up when all she could think about was her wife “four hundred and counting and my only question is how would you feel if one was me. would you wish we made love again, would you want to revisit the marks on my skin, cause the world could be burning and all id be thinking is how are you doing baby”

Show Up (Samia)

its a song for her fans, about how no matter whats going on in her life she will always show up and perform for them as long as they still want her to

[aceaceace144616]

Welcome, Caller

by M Dean Wright

my thoughts in a nutshell: "oh no hes just like me fr"

ok i dont really review books or anything, thats my friend's job (cheeky promo alana_the_bibliophile on instagram) nah yeah but this one was just so good.

firstly, as a neurodiverse bi trans dude i related so hard to Malcom (the main character) with the overloads and insecurities and just everything. i may or may not have to get this entire transcript tattooed upon my person cos it just hits so close to home in places i didnt even realise until the book brought them to my attention.

like the whole thing about Malcolm not going after things that will make him happy (Peter) just cause he feels like hes so fucked up ± messing something up on purpose before you can mess it up by accident vibes. i literally said (in a squidward impression cos that is important information) "oh no hes just like me for real" out loud on a bus (but it was a loud bus so no one heard) (hopefully). also another thing, Peter telling Malcolm about his auDHD and what he likes + dislikes about sensory stuff. and Malcolm believing and respecting him. i just. its such wish fulfilment. that along with the rest of the story, its all just wish fulfilment. having multiple queer and neurodiverse friends that help you when youre struggling and will beat up your unsupportive family members. (also having a dude think youre hot. wouldnt mind)

secondly, it was just a good read. like i really enjoyed reading it, which hasnt happened for a while. it made me smile and laugh in public (which i never do). fr i was having a giggle on the bus, in class, in doctors waiting rooms, everything. i actually looked forward to reading it as well and i had to trudge through other stuff just so i could get back to it.

lowkey gives love simon vibes (from what i remember of the book when i read it in like 2018), just chock full of natural and believable sounding dialogue and references to things im sure ill actually like. (in my notes app on my old phone i went through the book and wrote down all the references made in love simon and it was pretty extensive (and now i have to do this for this book. oh no guess ill have to read it again oh this is so sad whelp better start now see ya)).

and like the friendship between the characters, the dialogue never felt too forced and they talked like actual people id talk to. swearing at and bullying your friends is a love language and it was done pretty well in this, and also the sending of memes being like an important step in a friendship is too real. also the revival of interest in records, my cousins poor bank account is a testament to that being relatable.

thirdly, the story. we got enemies to friends to lovers, we got 'there was only one bed', we got a road trip, we got a sickfic, and so much more and you know that i ate it up every time.

that as well as the epic highs and lows of making friends in your 20s (lol).

the book follows Malcolm slowly becoming friends with this irl dude Peter while falling for this 'mysterious' radio host Rebo, with his friends supporting him the whole time.

like i dont really go for romantic style stories but this was just so good (but then again ive barely read anything since back when i used to inhale books at like age 12) + the chemistry between Malcolm and Peter was just chefs kiss so good man.

also, the name Goby (one of his friends) kinda got me tho ngl, gobby is australian slang for… something, and i got a jump scare whenever they showed up lol.

Edit: they Goby on my Gumby till I Cheese. I'm so fucking sorry I had to write that down I couldn't get to sleep.

the only bad thing about the book (not that its bad bad, just like if i had to pick something) would be that the ending was made out of like 3 epilogues with indeterminable time skips between them. unless i missed something idk. im just more about the 'the characters kept on living' kinda ending, less 'albus serverus potter' style stuff, not that it was even like that tho.

but also wanting to own and run an incredibly specific cafe+store with your partner is just so fucking gay. oh my god. fanfiction shit right there /pos.

lastly, i haven't read heaps of books in the last couple years, preferring movies and shows more than my childhood self who lived in books series, almost like i didnt like reality or something (unthinkable ik)(i literally had this printed out and hung on my wall)(and on me liking movies more, thats a whole nother fucking topic and a half so ill complain about it in another post)(but anyway).

like honestly, i think that i might get back into reading, even though i forgot how many hours just fly by when i read, cos this was just great. (dont tell my mum she'll throw a fucking party)(again, different topic).

also admittedly, i did sotra kinda maybe slightly pirated it and read it off a pdf BUT! cos i like it so much im probably going to buy a physical copy (for almost 40 fucking dollars including shipping Jesus fucking Christ)

ik not a single person but me will see this review but i dont care. this book was made for me about me

tldr: