#i feel like trash man

[bat-the-misfit]

having a cat with cancer is not enough i needed to get in even more panic bc i didn't see another cat escaping through the window and walking on a slippery roof he almost fell and broke a leg or died or smth

like wow how can i not be feeling like a trash when smth could have happened to him???

[stuckinapril]

I complain about wanting male attention bc of my daddy issues and then when I get perceived in any sort of way by a man I’m like I’ve been doubly victimized …. This is the worst, most blasphemous thing to have ever happened to me ……. The nerve on you to think you can speak to me …………….

[o-wild-west-wind]

kind of an underrated “frankfurters” type genius moment of Ed’s is honestly what he saw in Stede from the very beginning. like it’s objectively hilarious and endearing that he saw that pasty cringefail man bleeding to death and was like “I need him” but like…beyond the fascination even, I feel like he knew. he’s always playing the long game. he knew Stede was a “cool pirate,” that he was more than he seemed on the surface, was worth giving notice to—that he’d be something. it’s exactly what Ed is best at, and what makes him so successful: he sees the utility and potential in what others tend to ignore. trash as treasure, if you will. and of course, as usual, he’s right.

[tinyclowndancer]

Part 1

I've been taking readings with the limited equipment I've been able to secure. Some riveting data accumulating. Hypotheses taking shape. My struggle with this is that the way this place works makes any hypothesis immediately come back to alter and contaminate the data.

Anyway, I've been working to capture, isolate and amplify certain frequencies from the background radiation ambient noise, so... let's see what happens.

I was caught in a loop. The deeper into the dark depths I got, peeling off the layers of the Dark Place, like the ocean zones, from twilight to midnight, to abyssal to the deepest trenches, the closer I felt to going mad.

This voice, the narration... It keeps going forever. This leads me to believe it's what's holding this place together, it's making it real. Is this the voice of the dreamer?

What's strange is that it sounds a bit like my voice.

[loveapologist]

>>There has been some time already since they left the Outback. Without the constant radiation, he had noticed changes in himself. For once, he was less and less a bag of skin and bones and hair had started to grow back, not only in his scalp. Maybe the most important change was his mind. Every day it was easier to think clearly, not forgetting so much important details as where he was or what he was supposed to be doing. Maybe the pills Dr. Ziegler gave him had something to do. How was it that he couldn't recognise himself in the mirror any more? << Support me on PATREON!

[calciumdreams]

pretty skellie

[youngyoo-apologist]

When it comes to OG!Cale ships I like both OG!AlCale and OG!ChoiHan but it really depends on the scenario

For example, I like OG!AlCale in both regression aus and TBoaH adjacent timeline things because I think a huge thing I like in their dynamic is how mysterious they both are to the other party. The fun of their dynamic is them discovering more about each other and the various miscommunications they have cause of their own personalities, and I think that works very well no matter the universe.

But with OG!ChoiCale, I feel like I can really only enjoy it in TBoaH adjacent things or if they both have the memories of the first life.

To me, a big thing about OG!ChoiCale is about the life they lived together, how they hated eachother, how they both didn’t know eachother for years, how they could have spent time together during the war due to unfortunate circumstances(there not being enough people left)

Like, I think OG!ChoiCale can be such a cool dynamic, such a sad, but comforting one at the same time. It’s a little bitter how the man you thought you would hate forever became a close companion, how he’s more similar to you than your younger self woild have ever thought, but do you really hate it?

Can you really hate having a person who understands you, when so many people have died? When so many are gone?

Something about the sadness of it all, how it was tragedy that brought them against each other at first, but now it brings them together. How they could only ever grow to understand eachother because of the pain they face, the pain that they shared. At some point, can you really hate him, even until the end? After all those years? After coming to understand him? No, you cannot.

Like, it adds in extra layers when they both care about each other at some point mid-way through the war, but they still can’t really talk to eachother properly. They care, but they frustrate one another, anger each other. Choi Han doing increasingly more risky and self sacrificial things because ‘I’m a hero’ ‘I have to do it.’ ‘It is justice to save people’, despite the fact that it’s at the expense of himself

And Cale’s frustration at Choi Han’s attitude. He can never wrap his head around the fact that Choi Han destroys himself for the sake of other people, and believes it’s heroic(He knows Choi Han doesnt, he know Choi Han hates it too, but he doesn’t know what else to say to himself other than the fact that ‘it’s for the greater good’, because he will go crazy if he doesn’t)

He’s mad, but there’s some twisted sense of understanding in there too. Cale understands, because he became trash for his family, he became trash to protect them, he had to do it.

But that’s only what he thought.

He was older now, he had lost them all, and he had seen how his trash act hadn’t done anything to protect them. It only distanced him from them, and now they were gone, and he could never see them again, he could never make amends.

Cale is mad at Choi Han for sacrificing himself because while Choi Han is hurting himself, the people who he loves, and the people who love him, watch him do it over and over again and he doesn’t listen to their worried cries.

He’s mad, but he understands. It was frustrating to be on the other side, watching someone destroy themselves for the sake of others when the people who cared about them wanted the exact opposite. The only difference between him and Choi Han was that Choi Han was never a good liar, he could never hide how much pain he went through.

In a way, Cale thought it was better that way.

At some point, there is love that is there. Love that follows them, and it’s so painful because they both know the tragedy edy to it that is how they are doomed, how they can never be happy in the first time line where they knew each other.

Because as Cale and Choi Han, they can’t be happy. Not when so much has been lost, not when the world is falling apart, they may love each other, but loving each other as they are means being in a world where everything else they love is gone.

It is a cruel kind of love.

Like let’s say they do pursue these feelings, even though knowing those two I don’t think they’d ever say anything in that scenario. If they did it would probably be Cale going like:

“Choi Han, do you love me?”

Choi Han doesn’t say anything, but his silence in place of adamant refusal is enough of an answer.

“Do you love me, Cale?”

Cale doesn’t say anything either, only smiling at Choi Han with his signature, cynical and bitter smile.

He didn’t deny it either.

It was a confirmation of feelings, but unlike the confessions from romance novels and stories, the main character and lead do not end up together and live happily ever after.

They stay together, but the world around them is not happy, not at all. They are together, but not as partners or as lovers, but two people who live in their suffering because all they can do is live.

I feel like anything they do together would always have an air of melancholy to it. Maybe they kiss, once, and no more, because there is no point in making it a regular thing. Not when everything in their world will end, even if they keep on fighting for it to not be that way.

They kiss, and it’s short, but in that short moment, the world is nothing but Cale and Choi Han.

Isn’t that selfish? If it’s like this, then they could ignore how everything has gone so badly. But that is exactly why they cannot be together, there is no ignoring the reality of their situation, no matter how sweet it would be to live in a false dream and never wake up.

I like my OG!ChoiCale a little doomed.

[landfilloftrash]

yeah but he’s your thief

[fallen6253]

Why did Kim Rok Soo live like Satiama.

Hear me out:

The guy lived on the outskirts of town, basically isolated from civilization unless he was working (which probably built on his depression as social interaction is a very valuable thing to mental health). His work includes defeating monsters that threaten human life, and before he got good at it, he used to lose a lot. In fact, he got hurt a lot. He didn't let that part bother him too much because it was part of the job and it meant he would reach his goal. Saving people. Building strength to take down any enemy. Says he doesn't have a lot of money, yet may, in fact, be very rich (Krs was definitely rich and just lied, and while he doesn't exactly start out having actual income that I know of, he doesn't pay rent, and now Genos gives him money).

Thinks his problems are his own, and doesn't realize that whenever he meets people that don't hate him, he feels a bit better about life.

[ratatatastic]

men who have a normal relationship with each other and the cup

[creativitwin]

no you don’t have to get rid of remus’ ‘idgaf attitude’ for remus angst you have to fucking dissect it!!!

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Leonardo: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.

Dazai: *upends the bottle*

[redbootsindoriath]

Fëanorian Week 2023, Day 2: Maglor

It took me no fewer than half a dozen attempts to even get a sketch I liked for Maglor.  I kept trying to include an instrument into the composition of the piece but they all just looked so weird and out of place until I realized: stone statues don’t often have instruments in them because there are just too many fragile elements.  So I just left it out and finally it started coming together.

That being said, I originally raised the question of which instrument would be best in a Maglor drawing to my friend group before I had fully decided on a pose for him.  We were bouncing between panpipes and a lute when one said “maracas LOL” and I realized that I had just been granted the opportunity to create one of the most blursed images I’ve ever set to paper or tablet.  So here you go: Maracglor.

Just out of frame are Finrod on the steel pans and Fingon on bongos.

[deus-ex-mona]

sena 🤝 yujiro

older siblings (who see themselves as unreliable) who look out for and love their (relatively aloof) younger siblings unconditionally

[marsuro]

Crunch!

[dustteller]

I think modern au Zhu SHOULD be the lesbian best friend trope to Ouyang except that its because this man is her pet project and gODDDAMIT she's gonna FIX him she's gonna MAKE him be BETTER she's going to SOLVE EVERYTHING and he will RESPECT HER (she is actively making him worse). She has a whole complex about it and everything. She has based a part of her identity on dragging this man up from his toxic funk and is fully convinced that if she tries hard enough he will eventually come to his senses and be an equal participant in this relationship. They have a terrible wonderful toxic loving codependent relationship that's neither a romance nor a friendship nor a rivalry but a secret fourth thing.

Predictably, this does not go well. The character arcs would be Zhu learning she can't fix a sinking ship and letting Ouyang fail by himself, and Ouyang learning to not be a shit person, actually, and coming out of his bubble of self-centeredness and working on himself instead of unloading his emotional labor onto the people around him. And they should both get to develop a healthier relationship with each other than what they had in canon bc queer solidarity is great and its even better when it's in the shape of some weird bullshit some gay people built out of the corpse parts of heteronormative romance (affectionate and completely unironic)