#i for one cannot fucking afford that. goodbye

[toastsnaffler]

man the waiting times to get an adhd diagnosis thru the nhs are so long theyre still refusing to even give me an estimate of how long itll be before I can get assessed even tho my referral went thru months ago. but going private is so stupidly expensive like its not just the diagnosis but also med titration + then some gps wont even accept a private diagnosis to let u transfer back into the nhs system for prescriptions afterwards. fuck my stupid baka life + this entire country

[chaotictomtom]

another summer without having top surgery

[dontaskmemybias]

The Fan Meeting

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x afab reader Request: No Theme: Strangers to Lovers Contains: Panic Attacks, Cursing, Unprotected Sex (don't do this), Loads of Fluff, Angst If You Squint. Word Count: 4,933 Note: MINORS DNI!!!! This is a work of fiction and does not portray any of the members irl. I was thinking to myself, what if my worst nightmare and one of my fantasies collided? Then this came out haha! I know some of the details aren't accurate, this is fiction so don't come for me! 😂

_

You had been wanting to see Stray Kids live for forever. You were a huge STAY, you even (embarrassingly) wrote fan fiction about them on Tumblr. For your birthday your lovely best friends since childhood decided to get you tickets to see them live AND do a fan meeting. One of them said she would come with you (you had gotten her into the group and she is now a proud STAY as well) and it was all the two of you could talk about for weeks.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE ARE SEEING THEM TOMORROW I'M GONNA PASS OUT AND/OR CRY I SWEAR TO GOD!" Your bestie had heard you talk about how your were probably going to have a heart attack or spontaneously combust for weeks so, being used to this dialogue, she just laughed and shook her head at your antics.

"If you pass out I'll just throw some water on you so you don't miss too much." She deadpanned. This caused you to crack up hysterically until she joined in and soon the two of you were clutching your ribs from how hard you had been laughing.

"Just 24 more hours and we will be front row watching my favorite boys." You sighed wistfully and your friend just chuckled.

"Yeah, 24 hours!"

~✨~

Your heart was racing as you lined up outside the venue. You had missed the last world tour because you had just gotten into the group and couldn't afford tickets, but that didn't bother you much seeing as this album was astronomy themed. You had worked at an observatory for years but you had just left the job and honestly needed a break from job hunting and what better way to decompress than seeing your favorite boys live.

You were fascinated with the sky so the first time you heard "Hall of Fame" and recognized Neil Armstrong's words you almost passed out. This was the perfect time to see your favorite boys live and you were seriously worried that you might ACTUALLY pass out at some point.

You and your bestie had dressed up for the occasion, wanting to look good for the fan meeting (Jesus the fan meeting you hadn't really thought about it too much, too worried you were going to embarrass yourself)

Once you got into the venue you were starstruck. There was merchandise and STAY's running around, excitement filled the air. You were in awe of it all and if it weren't for your bestie you would've stood there frozen taking it all in for way too long. Luckily she pulled your hand and dragged you over to the line for merchandise.

After spending WAY too much money on memorabilia you decided to head to your seats. You were absolutly buzzing with excitement as you continued forward until you reached your spots. So close to the stage you could practically see the flecks of paint on the stage floor.

"How are we feeling? Excited? Nervous? Pass-outy?" You laughed at your friends made up word.

"Pass-outy? That's ridiculous. But seriously I am just so fucking excited I cannot contain it!" You giggle-screeched and started hopping around a bit. Your friend joined you in your mini-freakout and you both started screaming when the show began to start.

~✨~

The show was AMAZING! Hands-down one of the best experiences of your life. The vocals, the rapping, the DANCING?!!?! You felt like you had died and gone to heaven. You were so star struck and in shock that you were able to be here at all that after the last song was over and they did their (adorable) goodbye speeches you felt glued to the floor, staring with your mouth open until your bestie pulled you out of it. Reminding you of the fan meeting.

The fan meeting.

Where you would get to MEET. THEM.

Excitement and nerves bubbled up within you as your bestie dragged you to the next location to wait in line to meet the boys.

~✨~

You had to wait for forever in line, you had gotten there late because your bestie had to use the bathroom so you were now literally the last people in line. Your nerves were at an all time high. What were you going to say? Your anxiety started to flare up but your bestie calmed you down before you could have a full blown panic attack.

Finally you were next. You'd see Chan first, then Changbin, Lee Know, Han, Felix, Hyunjin, Seungmin, and finally I.N. You could do this, no need to be worried.

You moved a few steps, bestie in tow, and came in front of Bang Chan himself. You smiled and waved a little. He giggled a bit and waved back.

"Hi I'm Bang Chan! And you are?"

"H-hello, I'm Y/N."

"Oh don't mind her, she's nervous! Y/N here is a huge fan! She even writes fanfiction about you guys! She's Y/URL on Tumblr!"

You froze. She did not just tell them your dark secret like that. You two always teased each other but she had no idea how badly this freaked you out. Your eyes were wide, you didn't notice but all the guys were looking at you now with varying expressions from confusion to amusement.

You started breathing a little heavier. Your hand started shaking.

Fuck.

You were about to have a panic attack in front of all eight members of Stray Kids.

You tried calming yourself down but tears began to well up in your eyes. Your breathing got shallower and before you knew it someone was ushering you away from the crowd and into a separate room.

Someone was holding your hand, talking to you calmly. There were other people in the room as well, you couldn't really tell who, your brain was only at half capacity as you fought the urge to sink deeper into your panic. The logical part of your brain realized it was probably your bestie in front of you and security with her to make sure you were okay, but her hands felt a little bigger than normal. You didn't register that fact, you just laid down until your head was in her lap and you began to work through your exercises to bring you out of your panic.

Find five things you can see.

You focused on your skirt, the cute one you decided to wear tonight. The floor, white tile with black designs on it. The security guard, closer to you than anyone else other than your best friend. The plant on the floor next to you, in a cute ceramic pot. Finally the fan on the ceiling, not on but sitting stagnant.

You didn't notice but you were listing things out loud, your brain in too much of a haze to comprehend what was going on.

Four things you can hear.

Your heartbeat, a bit higher than normal but slowing down as you listed things. Your breathing, shallow but more steady than it was before. Your best friend, apologizing and explaining the situation to the security guard, she sounded farther away than you expected. Another voice, saying calming and reassuring things in a gentle low voice.

Three things you can feel.

Your hand on the cool tile floor, lowering your rising body temperature. Your skirt, you take it in your fingers to feel the fabric. A gentle hand running through your hair to calm you down.

Two things you can smell.

The perfume you put on today for the show, peaches, your favorite. Cologne, an unfamiliar scent, definitely not what your bestie had been wearing tonight.

One thing you can taste.

The remnants of the snack you and your bestie shared during the show.

After running through the exercise your brain slowly turned back on and the first thing it registered was that this was NOT your bestie who you were laying on.

You sat up quickly and looked at who had been comforting you for god knows how long and your breath hitched.

Han Jisung.

You were trying to think of what to say but he beat you to it.

"How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Water maybe?" You shyly nodded your head and you saw one of the security guards leave and bring you back a bottle of water. You took a quick sip and looked back to Han.

"I-I am so sorry, I thought you were my friend, I-I didn't realize-" He cut you off

"No worries. I saw you get pale and start shaking back there and I knew what was going on. I get panic attacks too so I figured I might be able to help!" He flashed you a quick smile and ran a hand over the nape of his neck.

You stared at him for much longer than you would've liked, trying to figure out what the actual fuck you were supposed to say in this scenario. The only thing your stupid lizard brain could come up with was "Thank you for letting me use you as a pillow."

What. The. Fuck.

Jesus Christ you are worse than the oblivious girls you wrote about in your little delulu land on Tumblr.

Han just giggled a bit and flashed you his biggest smile.

"I didn't mind, anything to help out a fan!"

Right. A fan, who embarrassingly had a full blown panic attack in front of her favorite band.

Thankfully your bestie came over at that moment to break the awkward silence that had settled over you and Han. Dramatically sobbing she landed on the floor next to you and took your hand in hers.

"Jesus Y/N I am so fucking sorry, I don't know why I said that I didn't mean to freak you out so much-" You cut her off before she had a full mental breakdown too.

"Hey, hey it's okay! I'm okay now, no worries." You smiled at her softly and she took a deep breath.

You all got up off the floor and thanked everyone for helping you out. You figured you must have been out of it for a bit seeing as the room next door was pretty quiet now. Not wanting to waste anyones time you started to head for the door.

"Wait! Y/N, I feel bad you didn't get to say hi to the other guys, would you like me to at least sign something for you?" This boy was a literal angel. Here you were, making his day even longer than he had probably planned on it being and now HE wants to do something nice for YOU?

"You really don't have to do that, I feel bad for making you stick around so long." You sheepishly looked down at the floor. Han walked closer to you until his feet were in your line of vision. You slowly looked up and saw him less than a foot away from you and he smiled again.

"It's no problem at all! I really want to. Please?" Shit you weren't gonna turn down such a golden opportunity. You handed him one of the photocards you got with his picture on it and he kept his hand out, waiting for more things to sign. You giggled and pulled out the three others you got.

All Han. He was after all, your bias.

He chuckled and walked over to a nearby table to sign the fan cards. When he came back he smiled and handed them to you.

"It was lovely to meet you Y/N, I hope to see you again soon."

Then he winked.

He fucking winked at you.

What fanfic bullshittary was this?

~✨~

After security made sure you were okay you and your bestie left and headed back to the hotel you were staying in for the night. You let her have it over telling the band about your fanfic account and she kept apologizing until you finally decided that it was ultimately okay, especially since you got some signatures out of it.

You did not tell her that Han had winked at you. That was just for you.

Finally you got to the hotel room and she started squealing.

"Show me the cards! I want to see his signature!!"

You giggled and pulled them out. The first one was simply signed 'Han'.

The second one said 'Y/N's biggest fan'

You looked at your bestie, thoroughly confused.

"What the hell does that mean?"

Her jaw dropped and she pointed to the third card. It was signed not with his name, but a Tumblr URL.

Your jaw dropped.

No. Fucking. Way.

It was a URL you had seen on so many occasions. Commenting, liking, and reblogging every single one of your fics. Your biggest fan on Tumblr was FUCKING HAN JISUNG?!

You looked at the fourth photocard, it was signed 'Jisung' but on the back there was a note.

'Meet me at the Marriott on Fourth street tonight, room 461 ;)'

Your heart stopped.

You must be dreaming.

There is no way this is real.

Your bestie screams.

"Y/N YOU HAVE TO FUCKING GO OH MY GOD PLEASE GO AND TELL ME WHATEVER YOU CAN TOMORROW!!!!"

Before you can register what is happening she grabs your phone and orders you an uber before pushing you out the door and telling you to 'be safe!'

~✨~

Twenty minutes later you find yourself in front of room 461 at the Marriott on Fourth street. Your nerves are at an all time high as you hesitantly knock on the door half-expecting a serial killer to be on the other side because that would be more plausible than seeing Han Jisung open the door and smile at you before ushering you inside.

Once you get inside you have absolutly no fucking clue what to do other than fiddle with the hem of your skirt and stare at the floor. Han just chuckles and walks over to the bed before plopping down on the mattress.

"I am so glad you came, I have been dying to meet my favorite writer in person for ages now!" Your head snaps in his direction and he has a cocky grin plastered on his face.

"You seriously read my fanfics about you guys?" You are in shock, still half-believing this is all a dream.

"Hell yeah I do! The other guys sometimes read them too, we like to read all the stuff our fans write but you are by far my favorite, especially now that I know for sure I am your bias." Your face pales and you stare at him wide-eyed while he stands up and walks over to you.

"Hey it's okay, I won't bite, unless you want me to of course." And he winks at you again.

You could fucking die on the spot.

Han grabs your hand and leads you over to the bed to sit down. He keeps your hand in his lap and you see a faint blush take his cheeks. He starts to look almost as nervous as you are and you don't think you have ever seen him look so fucking attractive before.

"But seriously Y/N, you're an incredible writer and I am so happy you actually came. Your stories are so great and I honestly just wanted to talk with you about them. Like, where do you get the ideas for the stuff you write?"

It takes you a second to gather your thoughts and answer his question. All that you can about think at the moment is how Han fucking Jisung reads your stories and is currently holding your hand blushing like a god damn schoolboy.

"Well, a lot of what I write are recommendations sent in by other people, but the stuff I come up with honestly just comes to me randomly. Like, I read a lot of fanfiction and I take my favorite tropes and just think about who would fit best and then the story just flows as I go. Honestly half the time I don't even have an end goal in mind, I just write until it feels finished." Now its your turn to blush and look down at your intertwined hands.

Han starts rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb as he lets out a small hum.

"That's incredible, you must have an amazing imagination to come up with so many stories."

"Yeah, my mom used to call me a space cadet growing up because I always had my head in the clouds." You chuckled and Han did too.

"That's so cute! Space cadet, I'm definitely going to be using that from now on."

After the initial shock wore off from being in Han's room, the two of you continued talking. First just about your writing, but eventually about movies you both like, T.V. shows, anime, books, and everything else. It was insane how fast you got comfortable with him. Eventually you found yourself laying on the bed next to him, hands still intertwined as you told him about space and you guys talked about the vastness of the cosmos together. Once you had covered almost every topic you could he leaned over to look at you.

"Would you want to stay and maybe watch a movie or something? I really like your company. It can get kinda lonely in these hotel rooms."

"Yeah of course, I like hanging out with you too Han." You smiled at him.

"You can call me Jisung, it's what most of my friends call me." Your heart skipped a beat. Han Jisung just implied you were friends now?

Before you could fully react Jisung got up and grabbed the T.V. remote before settling back on the bed, sitting against the headboard. He patted the spot next to him and you climbed up to sit next to him while he scrolled through the channels to find something for the two of you to watch.

He eventually saw Howl's Moving Castle and looked over to you. You nodded and giggled as he pushed play.

The two of you watched the movie in peaceful quiet, commenting on the story here and there. About a third of the way through Jisung's hand found yours again and he pulled it into his lap, pulling you a little closer to him in the process. After a few minutes he switched the hand that was holding yours so he could wrap his arm around you, you settled into his side and rested your head on his shoulder, smiling as you heard him let out a content sigh.

The two of you stayed cuddled up like that for the rest of the movie. You started to get a little tired by the end but when would you ever be in this position again? So you pushed through the drowsiness overcoming your body and finished out the movie mostly awake.

Once the movie was over you shifted a bit to look at Jisung. "I should probably head out, its really late." Jisung looked a little sad for a moment.

"What if you stayed here tonight? I could get you a car to take you home tomorrow? We are in town for another show tomorrow, maybe we could even do this again?" He looked hopeful. You smiled and nuzzled into his side.

"Yeah okay, I doubt I could get a ride at this hour anyway."

Jisung absolutly beamed at your response and sat up stretching his back.

"Yay sleepover!" He started laughing. "If you'd like, I have some clothes you could change into to be a bit more comfortable?"

"Yeah that would be great!"

"There's some facewash in the bathroom too you can use!"

With that Jisung got up and grabbed you one of his big tee shirts and a pair of boxers to change into. You got changed in the bathroom and washed your face. Your mind was racing with so many thoughts but the moment you came back into the room and saw Jisung snuggled under the blankets all you could think of was how lucky you were to get this experience.

You climbed into bed next to Jisung and he turned to look at you. "Y/N?"

You turned to him and smiled. "Yes Jisung?"

"Can we- I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but can we cuddle?" You giggled at his bashfulness.

"Yeah Jisung, we can cuddle." He let out a cute squeal of happiness and scooted towards you so he could wrap his arms around you. You snuggled your face into his chest and he let out a sigh of happiness.

"Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Jisung."

~✨~

The next morning went so quickly. You and Jisung had to wake up way too early for your liking. Jisung got you a car like he promised and made sure you were coming back later that night. You swore you would and he gave you a big hug before ushering you into the car so he could go do a million things before their concert.

When you got back to the hotel room your bestie was still sleeping so you just got into the other bed and crashed. Still exhausted from staying up all night with Jisung.

In your dreams you were a princess in medieval times. You were lonely until one day your knight in shining armor showed up (Jisung of course) and he swept you off your feet. You had a forbidden romance because you were engaged to some prince you had never met from a faraway land. But in the end Jisung was actually the prince! He had come early to meet you under false pretenses to judge your character and he found you to be the perfect wife and you lived happily ever after. Until an earthquake hit. The ground shaking, loud noises all around you. More shaking.

And you woke up. To your bestie shaking you awake. Out of your lovely dream and into reality.

A reality where you quickly remembered, you had stayed with Jisung last night.

Holy fuck that actually happened?

"BITCH TELL ME EVERYTHING, WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?!"

After a long ass conversation where you told your bestie all the details you decided (well really she told you you had to) go hang out with Jisung again that night.

You decided to stay in the hotel all day with your bestie watching shitty rom-coms and laughing about all the cringey tropes movies use to catch your attention. You were just about crawling out of your skin trying to process the last 48 hours and decided to have a chill day to prepare for the long night ahead of you.

~✨~

It was about 11:30PM by the time you got an uber over to Jisung's hotel and you still were convinced that this was all a dream, but as you walked up to his door you were sure that this was in fact reality and you were going to the Han Jisung's room at almost midnight in just a hoodie and leggings. You seriously considered going back to your hotel to change but you suddenly heard a loud thud on the other side of the door and you reached up to knock on the door to make sure everything was alright.

When Jisung opened the door he had that huge smile on his face again and he pulled you in for a hug immediately, letting the door shut behind you.

"Oh my god I'm so glad you came I was worried you wouldn't show!" you started giggling and hugged him back.

"Of course I came silly, I would be an idiot not to! Plus I'm excited to see what movie you have for us tonight!" He giggled back and pulled away from the hug to walk over to the bed.

"I am feeling a bit daring tonight, how about we watch a scary movie?" You walked over and sat on the bed next to him.

"Okay but if I jump you have to promise not to make fun of me!" He giggled at that and grabbed the TV remote.

"Of course not! I'll just laugh in my head." You playfully slapped his arm and he dramatically fell onto the bed like he had just been shot which caused you to double over and laugh loudly.

He finally got up and turned on the TV searching through the horror movies.

"See anything you like?" Looking straight at him you replied a simple "Yeah." He looked up and saw you staring at him and giggled a little bit before picking a movie and turning it on.

You both leaned back and Jisung moved his arm behind you to hold onto you. You smiled and leaned into him as the movie played.

After about 30 minutes you realized that Jisung was just as afraid of horror movies as you were. You would both jump at the same time, yelp, and hold onto each other tighter as the scenes played out.

By the time the movie ended the two of you were completely tangled on the bed. You were almost half in his lap from the amount of times you burrowed into him during the scary scenes.

"Y/N? You okay?" Jisung looked down at where you had burrowed into his chest.

"Yeah, I just won't be able to sleep ever again so there's that." You both started laughing and his grip on you grew a little tighter.

"Well, no worries, you can stay here with me, I can protect you." He said with a sheepish smile on his face.

"But what about tomorrow? You're leaving so I'll have to sleep alone again." You said somberly. You looked up at him and he had a sad smile on his face.

Jisung lifted his hand and pushed the hair out of your face, then he let his hand linger on your cheek. He looked like he was contemplating something until you looked down at his lips. Then he slowly leaned in and kissed you.

You let yourself fall into the kiss, your arms wrapping tighter around him. He pulled you closer into him until you both pulled away for air. He leaned his forehead on yours.

"Would it be crazy if I asked you to come with us?" He whispered. His breath tickling your face.

"Would it be crazy if I said I would?" You breathed out. You heard his breath hitch and before you could process what was happening he had flipped you so you were laying on the bed with him hovering above you, his forehead pressed against yours again.

"Don't play with me love, I'm serious. Come with us. You can stay with me every night and I'll pay for your plane tickets and everything."

Holy fuck he was serious. You thought about it for a moment. You didn't have a job, you were month-to-month on your apartment so you could leave pretty much whenever. It's not like you had anything tying you down.

But then...

"What if you get sick of me? I'd have nowhere to go."

"Baby I'd never get sick of you, and if you ever want to leave I would pay for you to come home. I just don't want this to end." He leaned down and kissed you softly. Then he whispered, his lips touching yours, "I can't say goodbye yet."

You sadly smiled at the desperation, the sadness in his voice. You didn't want this to end either.

Instead of replying you pulled him down to you in a searing kiss. He reciprocated almost immediately and the kiss grew more heated. The two of you were tangled together in the most heated makeout session you'd ever had. He pulled away just long enough to rip his shirt off and throw it somewhere in the room. You eventually did the same.

After that everything was a blur of clothes flying and messy kisses. Eventually the both of you were completely naked and feeling each other up, hands roaming across one another's bodies. Finally Jisung slipped inside you and you both let out a breath you weren't aware you were holding.

He stilled inside you once he bottomed out and looked into your eyes.

"You are so beautiful."

You let a single tear fall as he began moving. The two of you panting and moaning as he set a steady speed. Sex had never been like this for you, it was like you breathed as one. You were gripping onto him in any way you could, grabbing his biceps, his waist, his face.

His thrust started to become erratic the longer you went, his hips getting a little sloppy to signal he was close. His hand came down to rub circles on your clit to get you there faster. You cried out in extasy as you felt the band in your lower belly snap. Jisung followed after a few more thrusts and laid his head down on your chest, his dick still settled inside you, slowly softening.

You both looked at each other and smiled. He pecked your nose, then your cheeks, and finally your lips before getting up to get a washrag to clean you both up.

You didn't know how long this would last, but you decided that you wanted to ride out this feeling as long as you could. So after you were both cleaned up and he settled in the bed next to you, you turned to face him.

"I'll come with you Ji, anywhere you are is where I want to be."

[gabessquishytum]

Hi! Looong time lurker, first time asker <3! Want to tell you that I love your blog and how awesome concepts are born here, so I thought that I might try and share my own idea with you

Omegaverse Dreamling!

Hob is an alpha who has a successful career in academic and of course owns New Inn pub so he cannot complain, really. He feels a little bit lonely, but he doesn't specifically look for a mate. All his relationships kinda ended, it wasn't it. Hob have been going into his ruts alone for some time but he is fed up with it already. So he decides to go to a brothel and hire some omega prostitute to spend his rut with. He chooses kinda luxury Burgess' brothel.

Enter Omega!Dream. He hates his job and especially dealing with alphas' ruts so it's obvious that this bastard Burgess chose him to "assist" this new and green alpha in his first rut in a brothel. Dream is famous among the clients for his ethereal beauty but also for his snarky comments. That is why most alphas enjoy "taming" him. Dream supposes this one is not gonna be different. He couldn't be more wrong! Burgess warns him that he can't afford to lose this client, he seems rich and gullible, so Dream must behave because otherwise he is going to regret this! Dream doesn't need to be told twice, he knows very well that Burgess has a heavy hand.

When Hob enters the brothel he feels the first symptoms of a rut but when he is introduced to Dream he might as well go into full rut right now and then. What a beauty! Slender, dark-haired, with unblemished and pale skin and the most blue eyes Hob ever seen. Dream is used to being ogled but no one ever looked at him as if he hung the stars himself. He must admit the this Robert "call me Hob, please, nobody calls me Robert" isn't ugly. Quite otherwise if Dream may say so himself. And he smells so nice, even so close to his rut. He hopes that he isn't a demon in bed because he really isn't into rough sex tonight.

They go into the room, Hob is obviously the perfect gentleman and isn't treating Dream as a common whore so he is already alerted. Behind a closed doors Hob is still very polite and pleasent. He asks Dream if it is okay, if he really wants to do this, did he eat anything? maybe he would like to drink something or to talk? Dream is quite overwhelmed, nobody treated him like this ever.But he says he is okay, Hob goes to take a shower and they go into it. And...

Dream has never had since he had started working as a prostitute such pleasurable and overall good sex. Hob is gentle and caring and is treating Dream as if he was his longtime partner. Despite his rut Hob is controlling himself and is always careful to not hurt Dream. Dream might have orgasmed a few times... Fine, he orgasmed a lot, ok? But it isn't his fault Hob is so nice and skilled and has a such wonderful cock! While Hob knot goes down they cuddle and talk. Well, it is Hob mostly talking, because Dream is always withdrawn with his past, but for the first time that doesn't bothers Dream at all. Hob has such a nice voice, he could be listening to him for hours! Well, Dream is very fucked, literally and figuratively. People always told him that he falls fast and deep and this might have happened here. When Hob falls asleep he might even cry a little over himself, because there is no way that Hob would want to ever be with such an omega whore who smells of other alphas. Dream is gonna stay in that brothel as long as he is pretty and then... He fears to think, but it isn't a bright future.

Meanwhile Hob is freaking out because of course he fell head over heels in love with this gorgeous omega! Dream is perfect, in looks and in character and Hob will fight everyone who thinks otherwise.

Hob's rut ended and he went home heartbroken but he gave Dream goodbye kiss on cheek and asked if he would him to come here for his next rut. Dream of course said yes, not because Burgess was behind his back and he expected Dream to agree but because he came up with a plan! He is going to baby-trap Hob! He is now knowing when Hob's rut is going to come and he can stop taking his suppressants. It's a perfect plan!

So few months go by and when Dream sees Hob enter the brothel he immediately goes into heat. Fortunately, nobody notices and they share again a few wonderful days with Hob and surprise, Dream fallen even harder. When Hob again leaves him he only hopes that he knocked him up good. Of course it happens. But what Dream didn't expect is that he was gonna start showing so early. He hoped that he could keep it a secret till Hob will again visit him. Burgess is furious at first but then he starts selling Dream to the clients so they could imagine they knocked him up. Dream obviously said that he has no idea who knocked him up so he gained even worse reputation.

Time passes and Hob again goes into rut and to see Dream. Once inside he learns from Burgess that Dream is pregnant and if he still wants him. Hob cannot imagine his rut without Dream now, but he wanted to refuse, because he didn't want him to tire to much. But something irked him in a wrong way in this Burgess fella, maybe because he was talking shit about his Dream ( jesus, Gadling, pull yourself together) so he agreed to take Dream to the room. He wasn't planning anything sexual, he simply wanted to talk to Dream.

When they get into the room Hob starts telling Dream that he is happy for him and that he just wanted to spend some tome with him and they don't need to do anything sexual if Dream doesn't want to. And this is too much for hormone-ridden Dream. He burst into tears and starts wailing, because alpha of his pup is here and those few months were terrible, he was so sick all the time and he feels sore all over and lonely and overall terrible. But first and foremost he isn't whore! It's Hob's pup and he needs to believe him, he is sorry that he tried to baby-trap him but he loves him and Hob must now hate him, because he is a whore and he woulnd't want to be with someone so terrible like Dream!

Hob is quite light-headed after receiving such info-dumb but the most important news is still banging around in his head: he is a father! Of Dream's pup! Of course he believes Dream, he wouldn't lie to him, not while crying his eyes out, he knows that Dream is to prideful for that. So he kisses Dream partially to shut him up and partially because he loves him and he is so happy.

Dream can't believe what is happening but he isn't gonna complain! When they stop kissing Hob explains to Dream how happy he is and how much he loves him and please please please be his mate. Dream is in deep shock, but agrees, of course he agrees! So Hob takes Dream hand and commanders that they leave in this second. While leaving for good Hob punches Burgess in the face for trying to stop them.

Some time later Dream receives his so anticipated bitemark on the neck and the both of them couldn't be more happy!

Well, of course untill they go for Dream's check-up and learn he is pregnant with twins. Hob and Dream are both over the moon.

Ooops, it came out very long so so sorry for that and for any mistakes! Cheers

– AAA

Hello new friend!!! Thank you for sending this, it's so good and I love that it's a nice long one. Gosh, I feel for Dream so much!!!! The part about Burgess hiring him out to even more alphas while he's pregnant so they can fantasise about being the one who knocked him up gave me SO many ideas. Maybe one of the other alphas goes so far as to claim that the pup is actually theirs (either because they want Dream or because they just want to torture him) and Dream has to try and get out of that situation and explain how he knows that that isn't the right alpha, yes he's sure, he's not sure how he's sure he just is!! Anyhow, thank goodness Hob shows up when he does and rescues Dream from that terrible situation.

When Hob takes Dream home he puts him straight on bed-rest (after a nice long bath of course) and makes Dream promise to rest and recover. Hob will do EVERYTHING for him. Cooking, cleaning, bathing, he'll take care of his omega as much as possible. Its important for the twins but it's mostly important for Dream - he's been worked too hard and he still has so much to go through with pregnancy, labour, nursing. Hob wants to pamper him until he's at the peak of health. Dream has never been treated like this before. He keeps trying to sneak out of bed to help, and then Hob has to carry him back and cuddle him until he dozes off. Eventually Dream begins to get used to being spoiled. And resting is nice when his belly gets so big.

All in all Dream becomes a very happy omega, and his and Hob’s pups are the most loved and cherished in the whole world. Dream is so glad that he baby-trapper his alpha. And Hob is, too!

[berrypass-de-murdler]

80. The Cost of Rent is the Real Killer

Depression is eating me alive still, even in the one thing that makes me happy I'm not close to the same league as everyone else in the fandom no matter how many hours I pour into it-

But

Rabbit daughter is with me

And that helped me a lot more than you'd expect

The first contest I've ever won, I can now at least claim my cartoonverse designs are 'award-winning' to make it sound better than it is

That along with 63 designs finished between the two of us, you can't say I'm not trying lol

My Aureolin plushie is absolutely perfect, and my gratitude to Budsies is infinite. I really really hope they'll work on Irratino now, because a plush of goat lord is second to oxygen in my needs

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

Logico gives up and rents an apartment in Hollywood, because he’s clearly going to be there for the rest of his life. Goodbye, old friends! Hello, sweet cash.

LOGICO: What an amazing deal - I don’t have to spend a coin!

That’s ‘cuz the person who was gonna sell him the house is DEAD!

LOGICO: Well, a deal’s a deal.

Steel, Charcoal, and Uncle Midnight are hanging around their apartments, and also-

CRIMSON: HELLO, MY FAVORITE DETECTIVE…  LOGICO: [scream] YOU FOLLOWED ME!! CRIMSON: Of COURSE I did… [heeehhh]... I wouldn’t want to MISS YOU…

Well, that’s hellish. One of them did it, blah blah blah.

STEEL: Hey hey! Look at my golden flamingo. It cost a fortune! But I STILL have a fortune! AHA!

Logico dislikes Steel quite a bit, for many obvious reasons. Poor Crimson is hiding in a closet.

CRIMSON: THIS IS MY ROOM… I COULDN’T AFFORD ANYTHING ELSE… [shaky breathing]

Logico feels bad for her all of a sudden! She CANNOT be the killer. Clearly, neither can Charcoal, who is prancing among the flowers in the rooftop garden. 

STEEL: Imagine HIM in the tiny room. HA! He couldn’t even FIT.

All right. So the only two remaining suspects are the barely trustworthy Uncle Midnight and Steel.

U. MIDNIGHT: Hey now, my only motivation to kill, would be as PRACTICE.  LOGICO: …HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU LOOK INNOCENT??

Logico calls a phone, but it goes to voicemail. That makes him sad.

LOGICO: It’s… um… murder stuff…

There’s an immediate answer!

IRRATINO: YEE hi Logico! According the the numbers I’ve been running, the person who wanted to join a cult was in the boiler room. 

Only one person has ALL the cult vibes, and that’s Steel.

STEEL: What? Cults are FUN!

So the murderer is Uncle Midnight!

U. MIDNIGHT: He had a great room, man. LOGICO: He was the TENANT. U. MIDNIGHT: And Smoky’s always saying if I want something I need to go and get it. So I did, man. Is that so wrong? LOGICO: Yes.  U. MIDNIGHT: [sigh] Mannn.

Logi gets a call. He’s very sad that it’s not from goat lord.

MIDNIGHT: We’re doing the movie at MysteryCon so you have to do it before then.  LOGICO: Do WHAT? U. MIDNIGHT: [steals phone] UNCLE MIDNIIIGHT! LOGICO: FUCK YOU! U. MIDNIGHT: Hahaheeeeehhnahh.

The end!

Holdgico

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[urlocalmentallyunstablegal]

i think i had an epiphany today. so, my mock exams for med school are coming up this weekend and i realised how much i’m not prepared. i was way too focused on satisfying the ed voice and didn’t have the energy or the mental capacity to be able to study properly. today my therapist said that i can always loose weight but my exams are one time thing. this hit me pretty hard, so now i’m actually willing to give recovery a chance. why? because i want to be a doctor. i want to work in the mental health field. i want to be the change that this fucked up system needs. and the only way i achieve this is by prioritising my well being. i cannot afford to starve myself and expect good results. so this is my sort of goodbye at least for now. i find a great comfort in my eating disorder but i genuinely don’t want to spend my life like this.

i want to say huge thank you to every single person who has ever interacted with my account in any way. you guys are the best. i wish you all the happiness in the world and please stay safe🫶🏻

i’m deleting the app. i’ll be back on here in july after i get my results from the actual med school exams. so i guess see you in 3 months❤️‍🩹

[tailorvizsla]

Title: A Night of Sexy Sex with Paz Vizsla (April Fool’s Day Fic) Pairing: Paz Vizsla x f!Reader, mentions of Armorer x Bo-Katan Rating: NC-17 Wordcount: ~4000 Warnings: Terrible euphemisms, PIV sex, unprotected sex. Literally the worst. Overuse of the words sex and sexy. One use of the word moist. Literally this is the worst thing I have ever inflicted onto myself. Author's Note: Part of the Bulbous Salutations exchange! The point of this is to write bad smut and to make people regret having eyes. Happy April Fool’s Day, y’all. :D

*Note: By continuing past the ‘keep reading’ thingie and reading this godforsaken fic, you hereby absolve me from any financial, legal, or moral obligation to pay for your therapy. I am poor. I cannot afford therapy for myself, much less anyone else. Thank u.

You’re not quite sure how Paz worked it out, but he knows that you’re a virgin. The Mandalorian equivalent of cin vhetin. Untouched snow, pure, unmarred by another warrior's touch or love emissions. You've never even held hands with a warrior. Well, except to like, rescue someone, or something. Never bare palm-to-palm contact, though - that was beyond your comfort level.

At first, when you were younger, you wanted to wait for someone to make it worth your time. It’s not like Mandalorians are inherently attached to the idea of virginity, or anything like that. But you did want someone you could trust to help you discover sexual pleasure like in those naughty novels. The ones where the verde have their helmets up over their noses, their lips crashing together in a passionate kiss while their armor has fallen somewhere onto the floor. The ones where if you'd bought them second hand, the pages would sometimes be stuck together. 

As the months and years went by, the partners you were with…they never felt quite right. It was never the right time. It was never for the right reason. And so you and your partners would move on. And now you’re at a point in life where you wonder if you’d made a mistake. 

If you should have just…fucked someone and gotten it over with. Maybe it would have worked out in the end. You’ve seen the raunchy vids the verde pass back and forth during deployments (they're also passing partners back and forth, too, those lucky bastards). You’ve read all the magazines that get your panties so wet you soak them, your pants, and the seat you're sitting on. You know what sex is, technically, but you’ve never experienced it.

So it feels strange to sit with the verde and listen to their exploits, occasionally adding your opinions when you really don’t have one. You’ve never had your pussy licked until you cried and screamed. You’ve never been fucked stupid, to the point where your brain leaves your head and you can't think. And you really wish you knew what it felt like. But, like always, you go back to your room and satisfy yourself with your fingers and that giant floppy vibrating thing you bought ages ago.

Vaguely, you wonder if you should have placed that order for the glow-in-the-dark tentacle heated attachments, just in case things don’t work out here.

Now, you are standing here in front of Paz's door, wondering if you’re finally going to say goodbye to your virginity the same way Armorer said goodbye to heterosexuality when she first saw Bo-Katan. You shift your weight from one foot to the other as you wait for him to open the door. After a few moments, you hear the door click and it swings open, revealing Paz's magnificent, thick, beefy frame. It's obvious he hasn't skipped any meals or workout sessions. He's so big and broad it makes your heart flutter in your chest.

He is not wearing his armor, which explains why you did not hear his footsteps. You worry your lip with your teeth as he shuts the door behind you. Normally, you would have never just jumped into bed with someone, but when you look at Paz - all sourness and grump and bad attitude - you know he’s the right verd for the job. He’s a good man underneath all that beskargam. And kute. And everything else. Look, point is, Paz is a good person. That's all that matters to you. And he’s sexy, so. Bonus points there.

“So,” you say to him. “When you woke up this morning, did you plan on being the one to pop the vacuum seal on my buy’ce?”

Paz chokes a bit.

“That’s a unique way to phrase that.”

A grin crosses your face.

“But…no,” he confesses. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to have sex with me at all.”

“I like you,” you respond with a shrug. “And even though I know you have a kink for my type…it goes both ways, you know?”

“...what’s your kink?” he asks curiously.

“Blindfolds, obviously,” you deadpan at him. He laughs in response as he shakes his head.

“We could get married,” he says. “That way, we can…you know, see what we are doing.”

“You’re the last person I would have expected to suggest marrying just so we can fuck,” you say out loud. He shrugs in response. “Alright,” you say. You’ve done stupider things than get married to have sex. Armorer has left plenty of dents on your armor due to your stupidity. What's another dent? She's going to have to fix it regardless. You and Paz swap vows as quickly as possible.

Then you reach up to take your bucket off. Paz hesitates for a moment, and then he follows suit, lifting his helmet to reveal his beautiful face. He's got a chiseled jawline and eyes like sapphires, glimmering in the fluorescent lighting. His hair is thick and glossy, and it sways slightly. Where is that breeze coming from? Mortification fills you as you realize he's waiting for you to speak. You grin at him.

“You’re cute,” you say.

He’s more than cute - he’s downright handsome under that bucket - but you’re not going to give him any more of a reason to inflate his ego. He smiles at you. Gods, his smile is beautiful and sexy, just like the rest of him. So, so irresistibly sexy.

“You too,” he remarks, and you decide that his voice is definitely the sexiest thing you’ve heard in your life.

Paz reaches for you. You inhale reflexively as his strong hands find your arms and wrap around them, as gently as a newborn loth kitten wrapped in a blanket. Gently, he strokes up to your shoulders, and then down along your breast plate to your hips. He carefully pulls you toward him. Then, he presses his forehead to yours in a Mandalorian kiss, making your breath hitch in your throat.

That feels nice, you decide, as you relax in his embrace. Hesitantly, you touch him, feeling the warmth of his body, the hard planes of his muscle. The unyielding beskargam under your fingertips. Paz lets out a purr of delight as he dims the light to something more comfortable for the two of you. The two of you start removing each other’s armor, piece by piece.

Soon, the two of you are standing there in only your kute. Your entire body feels warm and tight. Your breathing is more rapid, and you definitely feel your pulse in your throat. When you look at the zipper on his kute, you look away. Paz catches you and pulls you in, tilting your face up to his with two gentle fingers under your chin. You close your eyes and tug on his kute, eager to have your first kiss. Paz rumbles approvingly, his breath fanning across your lips.

Your first kiss is a chaste one - a simple press of his warm, dry lips against yours. You’re not quite sure how long it’s supposed to last, so you let him take the lead. Then he presses another kiss to your lips. And again. And again. Like he's trying to tap a sentence in da-di-da with his lips against your heated skin. His lips part slightly and he tilts his head and then he starts to nibble ever so gently. It feels like he's trying to suck on your tongue or something, but whatever, it feels nice. And very sexy. His mouth opens a bit more and his tongue darts out against your lower lip. 

It feels strangely good to have his hot mouth against yours, and your lips tingle as his tongue skims over them. Paz’s hands find your waist and skim upwards toward your chest. Heat fills you as he touches your breasts and tweaks your nipples through your kute, palming them like one would half-price muja fruit at a sus market stall. He pulls back slightly. The whine of protest that leaves you turns into a quiet moan as he kisses along your jaw. More heat fills you, like that one time you drank an entire bottle of tiingilar sauce on a dare.

Boldly, you reach up to undo the fastenings on his kute, inching the zipper down to reveal his chiseled pectoral muscles. Paz mirrors your gestures, never going faster than you. He carefully strips you down, his big, warm hands touching your breasts and cupping your ass. Paz guides you to the bed. Your chesticles bounce most boobily as you recline. So fucking sexy.

Paz carefully settles on the bedding with you. His weight makes the mattress dip toward the center. It’s dark in the room and you’re so shy you can’t even look in his direction. Paz catches your hand in his and guides it to his pectoral. You squeeze gently. His man titty feels so good in your hand. He flexes the muscle, making it jump in your hands.

“Touch me more,” he says. “Please?”

With shaking fingers, you touch his mountain-like shoulder, taking a moment to trace a scar across the skin there. Then your fingers drift down along his belly. It's soft, but firm, with a sparse forest of hair that dips down to his manhood area. You don’t go down too far, though - you’re not quite ready for that yet.

“Might be more comfortable if you sit on me,” Paz says. “You won’t have to lean over as much. And you’ll be in complete control, mesh’la.”

“Alright,” you whisper. He guides you onto him, your knees on either side of him, something hard and twitching against your belly. You assume it's his love Javelin missile, ready to pierce your pleasure target and explode on target. You resist the urge to look down, instead focusing your attention on the scars littering his ultra sexy skin.

“There we go,” he groans. “See, mesh’la? You can touch any part of me you want like this. I’ll just hold you and let you take your time.”

His hands settle on your hips, warm and strong as they massage your supple flesh. You continue exploring his torso, taking a moment to squeeze his nipple the same way he had squeezed yours. He inhales deep, a low noise of pleasure escaping him. You mentally file that away - he seems to like having his sexy man nipples played with. Finally, you know you’re ready to touch him there. You’re pretty sure he’s ready too. Swallowing, you work up the courage to reach out and touch his bulbous beef bayonet. It jumps against your belly and you jerk back.

“S’alright,” he says. “It’s just a little excited.”

His hand guides yours back to his cock. Swallowing, you wrap your hand around him gently. His skin is silky soft and warm, like slipping into a hot Denovian mud bath after hours of hard work. You know warriors are sensitive in this area, but you don’t know how much so. You’re afraid to hurt him, so you loosen your grip as you stroke it. Paz throbs and pulsates in your hand. It is super sexy.

“Don’t be scared, mesh’la. It won’t bite.”

His hand wraps around yours, squeezing you around him in a much tighter grip. 

“Just like that,” he says. “Just like that, don’t be scared…oh yeah, just like that.”

You aren’t sure if he’s really that into it, or if he’s putting on a show for you, but you feel much better knowing that this is bringing him pleasure despite your inexperienced touch. You wrap both hands around him the same way a rath'tar wraps itself around its prey, gnawing on your lower lip as you trace the veins on his thick, meaty baby-batter shooter.

Up at the top, you find he looks a lot like the diagrams. The head is round and blunt, with a slit in the tip. A droplet of pearly white love juice gathers there. Impulsively, you swipe your finger through his creamy Sichuan daddy sauce and lick it. It’s not what you expected, but it’s not unpleasant. Paz lets out a startled groan and his throbbing purple disco stick jumps in your hand again. A very generous glob of baby gravy leaks out and onto your hand as you stroke again. 

“What do you think?” he asks gently. “Does it taste good?”

Embarrassment fills your stomach.

“Uhm…yeah,” you say. “Not…not what I expected, but…uhm…it’s not bad.”

He looks delighted at your words.Then Paz grips your hip.

“Scoot forward a bit,” he urges. You obey, and your clit presses up against his fleshy pokey impregnation stick. Heat fills your entire body again. It’s so close to…there. “Move your hips - yeah, just like that, mesh’la. Do you feel it rubbing up against your little clit?”

“Y-Yes,” you whisper to him.

“Does it feel good?” he asks. “Do you feel your sweet'n'salty love juices getting my manhood all nice and slick?”

“Uh-huh,” you whimper. “Paz…I…”

“What is it, mesh’la?”

“Paz, I…I uh…I think I want it. Inside.”

“Not yet, mesh’la,” he says gently. “I want to make sure you’re really ready for it, alright?”

You nod, grinding your hips against that wet, firm ridge underneath you. His hands guide you on his girthy dipstick, and you’re too embarrassed to look at him. You can hear the wet noises of your bodies sliding together. Is it normal for that to happen? You can’t bring yourself to ask. If something isn’t right, he’ll tell you. But there's so much of it. It's all over his belly and thighs and you're pretty sure the novels didn't mention a literal tsunami of poonani juice.

“Good girl,” he rumbles up at you. “Look so good like that, mesh’la, grinding up against my flesh bes'bev like you can’t wait to have it in you. Does it feel good having it this close to your pretty little hole?"

You nod, unsure if you can even speak coherently right now.

“Every time you grind against me, I can feel you getting wetter and wetter,” he continues. “Your panty porg knows what to do with a big, hard sausage…it knows exactly where this babymaker is going to go, doesn’t it?”

A little noise escapes you.

“I bet your fingers don’t make your love channel all greedy and hungry the way my pulsating pussy plug does,” Paz says. “I bet your toys won’t feel half as good as having me all the way inside you.”

The thought of having him in there, inside your undiscovered lands, pressing up against your insides, stretching your walls the way your fingers and toys can’t, has you wild. You roll your hips again and you feel that knot in your belly break wide open. A moan escapes you, another gush of creamy coochie cum seeping out to drench Paz’s cumslinger.

Paz rolls you down onto the bed. Like this, it feels much nicer. He’s warm and strong and there’s something about the way his body covers yours like a weighted blanket. The way his hips fit between your thighs. Shyly, you turn away. Paz turns your face back to his and kisses gently. Then he works his way down, kissing your straining nip-noops and biting your hip bone. 

“Oh, mesh’la,” he growls at you. “Can’t wait to taste you. Can’t wait to send your pussy into hyperdrive.”

“Uhm,” you stammer out. “T-taste?...hyperdrive???”

“Tell me,” he says roughly. “Has anyone else gotten to taste you between the legs?”

“N-No,” you whisper. “Nobody…”

“No one’s been down here at all?” he asks. “Doctor doesn’t count. No fingers, tongues, or anything else?”

“No one,” you respond. “Uhm..only my own fingers…and my toy…”

“Good girl,” he whispers, placing a kiss against your clit. “Saving it up all for me…” A whine escapes you as his tongue darts out against your aching, throbbing clit. He hums in delight. His tongue probes between your lips, sliding up and then back down. “I’m about to fucking explode, mesh’la. Gonna cum all over myself just having you in my mouth.”

He’s slurring his words. He almost sounds drunk. He licks again and again, one hand keeping your hips pinned to the bed while the other spreads your flesh folds apart. Paz’s tongue delves in deeper as another moan escapes him.

“Gods,” he rasps out, his fingers spreading you wider apart. His tongue dips inside you, making your eyes roll back as you whine. “Like that, huh? Like having my tongue in you?” He drags his tongue back up to the little helmeted warrior in a boat, where he teases you with the tip of his tongue for a few moments. Then he works his way back down. 

“Fuck,” he stutters out. “All mine, only mine.”

He buries his face between your thighs, his tongue and lips working at your uber moist flower petals. He slurps and moans and purrs, sounding like a Wookie in heat. Then you feel his finger circling your unbreeched gates, your unconquered pleasure cove.

“Can I?” he asks, his eyes dark and wild as he meets yours. You nod shyly. You let out a little noise as he starts sliding his finger in. “Let me know if it’s too much for you, mesh’la. I’ll be gentle, I promise…” 

He dips his head back down as he pumps his finger in and out slowly, his tongue working at your outside pleasure doorbell. He sounds like a strill eating a bowl full of protein paste, loud but kind of endearing. Then he eases a second finger into your lockbox of love. His fingers feel so good inside! Your walls begin to quiver around his thick intruding digits, squeezing each time he pulls out, milking them the way you'll eventually be milking the green milk out of his one-eyed Thala-siren.

Paz groans and slurps at your clit, drinking up your pussy nectar like a man who has been trapped in a desert for weeks and you are the only source of hydration...that line sounded much sexier in the naughty holonovel. Maybe he’s savoring the dew on your flower petals???

"So good," he slurs. "So fuckin' good, wish I could live between your legs, mesh'la."

His fingers curl inside you and press up against your swollen interior doorbell - wait, who has an interior doorbell??? He presses up against your light switch of pleasure, making you squeak with delight. As you get closer and closer, Paz's enthusiastic vocalizations get louder and louder. He plunges his fingers into you and you cry out when he fingers your wet, slippery pink taco like he's a pianist and your vag is his piano.

"Ahhh! Paz!!!" you shriek as you finally reach your peak. "YES! Ahhhh!!!"

Your walls explode around him and you finish, crying out his name as the pleasurable waves squeeze and flutter. Paz pulls his fingers out like that one guy pulling a sword out of a rock. His fingers are wrinkled and wet, like he has spent way too long in the bath. He sucks on his fingers like he's trying to suck boba through a slightly too small straw.

"So fucking good," he rasps out.

Then he crawls onto the bed with you, sliding his third leg between yours, resting it on your mound of love. It spews out a jet of white, gooey erectoplasm onto your belly. Then, locking eyes with you, Paz angles himself into you, and gently starts to push in. He feels so gigantic inside you. As he keeps inching his massive love spear into your love spear holder, you cry out passionately, your eyes rolling back inside your head. 

You're not sure how, but he keeps fitting more and more of his Star Destroyer inside your humble shuttlecraft-sized hangar bay. Finally, he bottoms out, and you swear Paz's hymen hammer is poking you somewhere behind your left lung. A squeal, much like a minoch in heat, escapes you, and Paz lets out a noise like thunder as he moans and shakes. He starts to thrust slowly, his cock disappearing into you. You wonder if he's a magician because there's no way he should be able to fit inside you. Maybe he uses portals, like that one game you played once?

"Oh, fuck," he groans. "Fuck, you're gonna snap my turgid Manly Man Shaft in half, cyare. Your virgin hole is so tight I swear to Kad'Harangir it squeaks each time I pull out."

Once your slippery love tunnel starts to adjust around him, Paz starts moving faster, thrusting even deeper before, making you wonder if he's prospecting for beskar deep inside your Mines of Mandalore. So fucking sexy. The bed rocks and shakes with each devastating thrust into you - you swear you can hear the frame clattering each time it lifts off the ground. The headboard slams into the wall over and over, and a bit of drywall dust falls into your eyes, making them water up.

"Don't cry," Paz croons. "I bet it feels good, doesn't it?"

You're being fucked too stupid to respond, so you settle for a high-pitched grunt/whine.

"Look at you taking this trouser snake," he groans. "Pounding so deep into you it makes your belly bulge - "

You wipe some of the drywall dust out of your eye and look down. Yup, definitely. Each time he thrusts into you, you can see the tip of his cock in your abdomen, as if his helmeted sausage soldier is trying to get your attention. Your pulsating pussy starts to pulsate even more, squeezing around his cock like a warm, wet, velvety fist trying its best to squeeze his soul out through his pipi. Paz grunts and groans, his hips slapping against yours wetly. Vaguely, you can hear someone hammering on the wall.

" - it's three in the fucking morning, you dipshits! KEEP IT QUIET - "

The two of you ignore the other person and keep going. You scream as you orgasm around his cock. Pure electricity shoots through your entire body. Just like that one time you were trying to plug your data pad in to charge, but the charger was under your bed, so you were going at it blind, and you ended up touching the electrical prongs by accident. Your bearded clam gushes its sweet and salty clam juices, mixing with his pre-cum to create sex chowder, and you can feel the dampness spreading underneath you like high tide at love time as Paz just keeps hammering away.

"Cyare," Paz bellows. He roars like a hungry Wookiee. Or maybe that was more of an angry Wookie? Horn-gry??? "Oh, cyare! I’m gonna impregnate you! I’m gonna knock you up so many times the Mandostork is gonna stop coming to our Tribe!”

"PaaaAAAaZZZ!" you wail. "Ahh! Aaaa ~ Oh nhhh ah ah yessss! ~ ♡♡♡ ~ harder harder harder!!!!!!!!1!"

He keeps hammering into you. You're not sure if the pounding noise is the bedframe against the floor or if your neighbor is trying to beat the door down. But, again, the two of you ignore them, and Paz goes into hyperdrive. He's fucking into you so hard and fast his bald-headed buir maker is a blur inside you as it pistons and churns your insides into a pre-orgasmic puddle of goo. More and more of your beautiful, bountiful bajingo broth coats your thighs, his thighs, and the bed.

Your wails grow louder and louder as another orgasm starts to descend upon you.

" - please for the love of Kad'Harangir, Arasuum, and the Two Sisters - "

You climax again for the fifth or sixth time that night. He moans and grunts.

"You're so tight you're cutting off circulation to my diiiick," Paz hisses. "Gonna cum again - "

With another deafening roar, Paz finishes, his heat-seeking meat missile shooting jets of man cream into your penis fly trap like a Mandalorian quasar of love. He just keeps cumming, filling you so much that your nether regions can no longer hold it back. His weiner sauce sprays out, coating the bed in millions of fallen future Mandalorian warriors. He groans. With an obscene slurp, he pulls out. His cock is still half-hard, rising proudly above the forest of pubes, like a really tall cylindrical volcano spewing white magma. He puts his hands on his hips and smirks.

"Did you enjoy yourself, cyare?"

"Yes, Paz!" you exclaim as you collapse on the bed. 

He smirks and joins you on the bed.

"When can we have round two?" you simper up at him.

Paz's massive long dong beskar starts to stiffen. It stands at attention like a proud warrior would. It glistens in the dim light. He smirks.

"How about now?" he asks.

You giggle and pull him down onto you for a night of super sexy, passionate baby-making.

-

-

-

A special thank you to my husband for “creamy Sichuan daddy sauce”.

[cant-get-no-worse]

Actually asking the Barcelona players to get their shit together just this once. Losing the game before celebrating La Liga? I accepted it. Losing against a team battling relegation? I sighed but went on, for it was for the greater good of kicking some Espanyol trash. Getting drilled by goals and preventing MTS from getting his clean sheets? I bowed my head. But we cannot, in our last remnants of dignity, afford to lose this game. This is a goodbye to the Camp Nou, to two legends of the club, there’s probably our potential targets watching this as well as one depressed guy in Paris, ntm half our budget went down these fireworks people and we’re BROKE AS FUCK — so unless yall plan on donating the budget of those outfits you do a catwalk in before each game, if you could do more than stand around and look pretty, that’d be just great. And for God’s sake, give this poor man his freaking clean sheet.

[pokemon-ranger-booker]

(@unreal-pokemonality)

I need some legal advice. So, about once a month, I take my Pokemon to Ponny’s (for those out of the know, it’s basically a brothel where you drop off your Pokemon and they get to have pleasure sex with other customers or trained ditto. They’re administered birth control and screened for health before anything happens, I usually drop them off, have lunch, and pick them up a few hours later). So, about a week ago, I get a bill for 250k pokedollars charging me for causing a Chikorita outbreak in Floaroma Town. Chiki literally only ever has sex at Ponny’s. I go there and demand to know what the fuck? I learn that Chiki did produce an egg while there several months ago (birth control isn’t full-proof, I’m not happy that I was uninformed about this). But their policy is to send these eggs to various shelters. We go through the records and Chiki’s egg was allegedly sent to a shelter in Lentamas Unova. So, I call the shelter and the person managing it claims to have never received a Chikorita. They also explained that even if they did receive one, they would have looked to transfer it to a shelter in Jhoto because Chikorita isn’t native to Unova. And they certainly would not have accepted a Chikorita deposit from Sinnoh. So, from there, I take Skarl and Crow with me to Floaroma to see what’s up with this Chikorita infestation (dealing with invasive species is really outside of my wheelhouse), but yeah, Meganium and Bayleef literally everywhere. And most of them know Ancient Power for some reason, so they’ve been fucking up the local Combee population, which keep mistaking them for flowers and getting blasted. I’ve been trying to see what I can do to help the local rangers, but I really cannot afford the fine, and nothing has been done to track down whoever was actually responsible for starting the outbreak.

I. I don't. I don't know where to start. i mean. what. like. what.

um. call a lawyer ? and don't. leave your pokemon at brothels? unattended? or at all? Man I barely graduated high school I'm not smart enough for this

im going back to bed now goodbye

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I love how perfect this table runner works as an alternative to a simple altar cloth.

The Cernunnos statue (says Herne, but the statue depicts one of the ways Cernunnos looks like to me) was a gift to me from my husband. Hel, The Morrigan, and Frigg are all by @torque-witch and I highly recommend going to their profile and checking out their shop.

The item in the middle behind the candle was given to me as part of a pagan trade. It's what served as a visual for The Morrigan before I was able to afford to commission @torque-witch for the large statue. It has moss, a tiny jar of holly, another of mugwort, and this little pentagon shaped thing that looks like cork but smells amazing. The box smells like autumn, and I love it.

Autumn is my favorite season. The colors, the smells, the rain, and the flavors of the season all make me so happy. Winter is my second favorite because allergies are gone. I love snow and how it makes the world quiet, but now I live in an area that rarely gets snow. Instead, we have a wet season. Rain makes the world quiet as well, but it also makes for a very humid environment. Cold and humid is uncomfortable, but preferable to bone dry and hot af.

I'm a devotee of Cernunnos and The Morrigan. They appeared on my life when I was very young, and have helped me in ways I cannot convey through words. Both became quiet for a few months back in 2018, which had me baffled. That's when Hel made her presence known. Shortly thereafter, she introduced me to Frigg. In 2020, Freyja showed up as well. Odin tried to be part of my life, and got pushy when I told him to fuck off. Sooooo the Ladies hauled his ass out of my home, banished him from ever bothering me unless I invite him, and it was The Morrigan who got him to stfu. Cernunnos basically sat back with a bowl of popcorn and watched.

It was The Morrigan who has helped me with most of my mental health, especially when I was self-harming. I wrote a poem about it, and she absolutely loves poetry. She took the blades and replaced them with flowers, and helped me see myself as a person instead of as damaged goods. She helped me find my spine and stand up for myself. She helped me find courage and feel safe as myself for myself.

Cernunnos has helped me with my physical health, most especially when my seizures got bad. He has helped me with recovering from when I was raped, giving me the gentle hand and safe arms when I needed them. I firmly believe it was he who guided my husband to me, with a gentle nudge to come through my lane when I was a cashier at a grocery store. Cernunnos was also the one to introduce me to tarot and oracle cards, and helped me learn to hear and feel the messages they were trying to convey. He's also the one I sense most when gardening, or walking on the various trails here, and most especially near water and forests.

Frigg and Freyja are still very new, so not a lot to say there. They are two very distinct deities to me, though some experience them as one deity. Both looooove my quilts, especially the handquilting. Frigg favors earthtones, Freyja prefers rich bright colors, but both agree prints are the best. When Jasper died last year, a rainbow appeared over the vet clinic. That very night, he and Freyja appeared in a dream. He thanked us for a wonderful life, that he loves us, and said his final goodbyes. Freyja made it clear he would be at rest for as long as he likes in a safe place specifically made for cats, and they walked away together. When I told my husband, he said he had the same dream. Though he is Buddhist, he made an offering of thanks to her.

I work with all of them, and every season I set the altar up anew. Making devotional items is one of the ways I connect with all of them. It's also why I love making table runners and mini quilts. Several fellow pagans/witches have commissioned me over the years for these things, and it's wonderful. If you want something made by me, keep an eye on my shop. Commissions are open for a limited time, from April to August, so I can make seasonal items and whatever else I desire. I rarely overwork myself because the disappointment from the deities, the various spirits I work with, and my ancestors, is enough to make me sit my ass down and do something else entirely. Because they love me.

[starwarspissorgy]

I am sick of bluetooth!!!! Earbuds!!!!!!

The only affordable high-quality earbuds I was able to find are these fucking Sennheiser wireless ones that have ONE (1) BUTTON ON THEM and CANNOT BE TURNED OFF MANUALLY so I have to have faith in the technology to turn my earbuds off and start charging them in the case, and guess what, it OFTEN doesn't do that!

THIS IS AN ACCESSIBILITY NIGHTMARE

I have SENSORY ISSUES. My go-to ways to manage them in ascending order of efficacy and frequency of use are 3. showering, 2. gaming, 1. MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC IN HEADPHONES WITH NOTHING ELSE AUDIBLE

I genuinely NEED to have portable headphones of some kind in order to function in this life. That is an actual physical need I have as a disabled person. The fact that the ones I can afford that are high-quality enough to function in this role are UNRELIABLE AS FUCK is RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE.

FUCK needing to charge earbuds. FUCK only putting one button on something that won't turn it off and honestly is hard not to press by accident. FUCK making me fiddle with bluetooth connectivity that often just doesn't work right. AND FUCK SMARTPHONE MANUFACTURERS FOR NO LONGER PUTTING HEADPHONE JACKS IN THEIR PHONES SO I HAVE TO BUY AN ENTIRELY SEPARATE THING!!!!!!!

Anyway goodbye I am off to spend time I don't have today researching wired portable headphones to buy with money I don't have because today was the last straw

[yearsofangst]

What should I do when I've got nothing to do nothing to prove no motivation to move I could lose myself for maybe and hour or two it's true but then I'll just get bored dude I go back again and again to fetishizing my friends write novels and never press send I've gotta attend to myself and tend my mental health but it doesn't end what is there to do when I gotta fend for myself and I wonder how can I cry if I'm already dead inside is every teardrop a lie to try shed to try to deny wanting to finally die and someday will I fry for some stupid shit I decide to try when I'm waving goodbye to everything thing that i write how will it look when I'm splattered against the wall will poetry really have mattered at all when the poet's finally shattered the last shard of the platter holding their sanity clattered to the floor waiting no more for some dedication to chores to moderation in stores to the day that I can honestly say I'm not bored and I'll be allowed to afford even the slightest bit more than survival cuz at my core maybe that's all I'm looking for

just a reality in which I identify as me and can see myself and know how to put new shoes on my feet and be able to leave the house without being a freak without panicking the whole time that reality isn't what it seems to be and maybe even be free from dissociation, disillusionment, and anxiety and no, I mislead you, I'm not ready for death. It's not my time yet and if you're willing to bet I'll give you even odds that I'll get another decade or two left before I even have to consider that for real but I still feel what I feel and it haunts me, it taunts me, the things I cannot see, the future being the most fucking obvious mystery because there's nothing to see, nothing for which to prepare, and I'm pulling out my hair from the fear of what could be there and I'm scared and I swear, I never knew I'd be where

I am right now so please tell me how I could possibly foretell what this story's all about what's my genre and theme? What does it mean when I scream (internally, don't feel like letting anyone hear me) what kind of character will I be and become and who am I currently? These questions certainly worry me because iIcan't say with certainty if I'll be worth the currency that the government curries me so I just keep ranting trying to sell all these grand things that maybe make me seem like something more than a dream, anchor me from a whisper into something more solid.

I fill my head up with knowledge and try to be the best but no matter how hard I'm pressed I just feel tight in my chest and I can't rest and I'd like to divest myself of these delusions of inadequacy but that's a challenge for me because nobody ever really taught me how to be me or even how to be they just told me I was wrong and that I didn't belong and now that they are gone it's just my head singing that song of failure, drawing me in with its familiarity and that also scares me but really so does everything so why shouldn't it sing about how I can't do the right things or really even anything sometimes when I'm stuck in this mind and I've tried to find a way out but I'm blind to my real flaws, because, all I've got are the ones that they caused and they fed me like bread I just dip my head into this oil of self-hatred and everything that they've said

it's inside me, it rides me, it follows and derides me and hides me, whatever I'm supposed to be, from my friends and from me, and I put on so many costumes to appease the people I love dearly and those I hold close might, just, maybe see, there's something inside me, something that I can't reach. A person, in theory, but nobody near me is quite close enough to hear me, that me, whoever it may be. It's too quiet and hidden to speak effectively and it's locked away from me so maybe they see a speck of that me but really it's probably irrelevant to their needs and it won't break free on its own, it is home, in the tiny box hidden under a stone at the end of a driveway paved over with bones of past selves and the shelves covered in old wigs and masks that I'll show to anyone who asks

but the question dies on their tongues before it's done and they run because really it isn't much fun to put so much effort into just one shattered psyche, I don't doubt that they like me, but the pay's not so much and the work can be frighteningly dull, or evocative, it is the outsider's prerogative how much effort it's worth to dig through scorched and salted earth in someone else's mind only to find something tied up in binds and protected by a blind keeper hiding deeper than initial sweeps or checks would indicate, something painful and twisted and hard to vindicate, guarded by a syndicate of defensive identities that claim to be friends to me but feel more like enemies when they start to pretend that me equals them and my external friends are fooled by the errant selves I present.

[snailchimera]

phone problems

It's not important and I did it to myself, but I want to whine anyway:

I wanted to unlock the bootloader on an older phone. It should have been easy. However, the bootloader tool said my phone was ineligible. At this point I already had a pretty good idea of what had happened. The phone was too old, and had been removed from the unlocker program. But being an idiot and a masochist I guess, I decided to try calling the company to ask if it really could not be unlocked. So I do. But I'm terrible at phone calls unless I have a script, and I did not take the time to write a fucking script. So I'm verbally flailing, failing to give important information, giving wrong information, trying to articulate that I knew it was carrier unlocked/wasn't associated with a specific carrier (phones locked to specific carriers can't have their bootloaders unlocked because if they could you could easily make them carrier-unlocked too) but sounding like enough of a clueless idiot that I don't blame the poor tech support person on the other end of the line for not believing me. Then they get another tech support person on the line, I flail at that person, that person says if the tool says it's not unlockable then it's not unlockable but she'll check it anyway and I'm too flustered to tell her not to bother, she does, then she gives a long and patient (and slightly wrong I’m pretty sure) explanation that amounts to me being right the first time when I figured it was old enough to be taken out of the unlocker program. And then she hung up very abruptly, unless that was my phone hanging up very abruptly for me because it is old and bad, so either she was out of time/patience and didn't want to bother with saying goodbye or letting me respond to her answer or she thinks I hung up on her and that I'm an asshole in addition to being incompetent. So I'm stressed out and mad and frustrated for no good reason because I already knew it was hopeless but I just had to check and waste everyone's time. The practical upshot of this is I have two old phones, neither of which work quite right and neither of which can be improved by flashing custom firmware. I cannot afford a newer phone, and if I bought another older phone that I could afford the most likely result is that I would be wasting a hefty chunk of cash to have three old phones that do not work quite right and cannot be improved by flashing custom firmware. More than anything I'm mad at these smartphone companies and also our capitalist hellscape world in general because it did not have to be like this. Phones could be made to last. Phones could be easy and relatively cheap to repair and upgrade. It would not be hard. Instead we live in a world where massive amounts of rare, difficult-to-obtain-or-manufacture materials, often obtained or produced in wildly exploitative ways, are used to produce incredibly sophisticated and powerful pocket computers, which are then intended to be disposable, replaced every one to three years if you have the cash for it and want to take advantage of incentives from your carrier or the manufacturer, or maybe an absolute max of ten if you're willing to take extraordinary, extremely nerdy measures (though no phone that old can be used in the US right now regardless because 3G was phased out and there's no! way! to! upgrade! old! phones! to 4 or 5G!).

...I want a fairphone because in theory it is a repairable, upgradable phone, designed to last, with minimal horrifying labor practices involved in its construction. But even if I could afford one, there's still the question of whether the fairphone company will still be there 5, 10, 15 years from now. Will replacement parts still be available? Will upgrades? Will the firmware still get regular security patches for that long? Will all of these things be available to US customers when currently they're only selling to the US through a for-profit "privacy-focused" offshoot of LineageOS whose approach to degoogling includes a possibly illegal app store?

None of this mess should be this hard.

[grippingbeskar]

had you said the words

obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader

word count: 7.5k

warnings: ADULT CONTENT MINORS DNI (oral m and f receiving, general sexual content, obi-wan is a virgin but they don’t actually fuck but yeah) swearing, think that’s it??

a/n: obi wan i love youuUuUuUu. okay in honour of the show coming out i am finally letting go of this lil thing I made. i wrote it months ago but never felt like it was good enough to post but here we are!! im feeling okay about how it turned out so i hope u enjoy and if you didn’t just lie and say you did!!! also this is inspired by that one line from the clone wars u know the one. okay that’s enough goodbye!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“This is ridiculous! You can’t do this!” You shout to the Jedi council. In front of you is some of the galaxy’s most respected members, the most seasoned generals from the clone wars, and yet not a single one seems to be able to see reason.

“We must. For the good of the Jedi.” Mace Windu says from the corner of the room, not meeting your eye. Your face drops, unable to comprehend their callousness.

“How could you? You know me. I would never jeopardise my career. This is what I’ve done my entire life! I-’

“This isn’t permanent, however the council has made a decision. We cannot afford to have a Jedi falter in their cause - not now, in the middle of a war.” Plo Kloon says, empathy guarded behind the crushing words. So that was that. All this over one decision.

You made one mistake.

One.

During the heat of battle, you lost sight of your focus, lost control, all because of one particular member of the council who sits in front of you now, saying nothing. Obi-Wan cant even look at you, and you dont know if its because of disappointment or if he just doesn’t care as much as you thought he would. Maybe he agrees with them. A sense of anger washed over you and you see him fidget in his chair, locking eyes with you for the first time since the council called session.

“He would have died.” Your voice shakes as you tilt your head towards Obi Wan Kenobi, leaving his gaze to find the rest of the council staring at you. “I saw the situation and reacted. I only did what I had to - to save him.”

“Had to, you did?” Master Yoda croaks from next to Mace, and you shudder a breath under his accusation, but nod.

“Yes.” The council all look at you, well, all except Kenobi, who’s knuckles are going white gripping the side of his chair, and nod. You bow your head, knowing you are fighting a losing battle, and spin to leave the room.

“You are one of the best of us, child. We know you meant no harm, but this is the Jedi way.” Kit calls and you dont get a chance to respond as the doors shutter behind you.

You were heartbroken. All day you had been turning over the events of yesterday in your head, trying to see a way out - another way you could have saved his life without compromising your career. There was none.

It started out as any battle did, the longevity of the Clone wars hardening most Jedi to become seasoned generals. Anakin and Ahsoka took troops around the back to catch the droids from behind, while you and Kenobi engaged the main platoon. It was going well - even perfect, you and Kenobi working seamlessly together, able to read each others minds, know the others thoughts without ever having to look at each other. It had been that way since he found you on Corellia, a teenager with a strong connection to the force and an attitude to boot. He trained you - in spite of everyone who told him you were a lost cause, showed you the ways of the Force and watched you grow into one of the best Jedi in the Republic - you were part of the reason he took a chance on Anakin. 

Either way, no matter how well you knew each other, you never could have expected what happened next.

Breaking the droid lines, you breached their hold. This was the main prize, for it contained the systems that held hundreds of documents detailing the battle regiments of the droids entire army, including exact numbers, weaponry and AT-AT deployments. What neither of you knew was that they had one last surprise set up.

As Obi-Wan entered the hold, you could both feel something was off immediately. You told him as much, and said you should wait for Anakin and Ahsoka to arrive so you could go in together and scan for entities. Obi Wan was convinced there was no time, the droids already beginning to regroup outside the hold. He wasn’t wrong, you could feel them caging you in, but he had always taught you to be patient; to clear your mind before rushing into battle. The role reversal threw you off guard as he pushed forward into the hold.

You still felt uneasy, but you didn’t argue and stepped inside with him. It was huge, monotone walls shutting you into a sphere shaped room, two steel doors that shuttering behind you. As Obi-Wan took one more step, you both heard the click at the same time, heads snapping to find each other’s eyes, and you didn’t even think before you reacted. 

Obi-Wan turned and threw himself at you before you even got a glimpse of the explosive. Within seconds you knew he would be blown to pieces, but his body would shield the blast from you and the board of computers behind you, which contained the information the entire mission was hinged on. Time stood still. This is what is was to be a Jedi - to sacrifice yourself for the greater good, the bigger cause, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Obi-Wan looked down at you, and his eyes were so piercing - so satisfied in his decision to die so that you will live, and you felt him through the Force, a warm longing drifting into your heart. You knew what he was saying; all the words you could never speak out loud, the thoughts you were too afraid to have in fear he would reject them. It was his final goodbye - and you couldn’t take it.

You threw out your hand, finding the explosive through the Force and flinging it behind you, right behind the computers main frame. The blast went off a split second later, shattering the entire set up and motherboard. The information would be gone, a shimmering snow of computer parts and wires falling around you. All you could focus on, though, was how Obi-Wans’ hand had come up to cup the side of your face, and how warm his skin was against your cheek, the failure of the mission worth every second of contact.

“You saved me.” He had said, voice a whisper under the still falling pieces of the destructed technology. You just nodded, and he didn’t move from on top of you, reminding you how it would have been the other way around had you acted half a second later, and he would have been dead. 

His eyes were filled with an emotion you have seen a few times before, but you don’t know what it is. You only know that when he looks at you like that, your heart beat shoots into your throat, and every feeling you tried to lock away when you became a Jedi fights its way back to the surface. 

Once Anakin and Ahsoka arrived, they found you both in amongst the rubble, and it wasn’t until the shock had surpassed that you realised you were both all cut up from the debris. They brought you back to the main base, and you weren’t thinking straight, immediately spilling about how you sustained these injuries. You put Obi-Wans life above the Jedi cause, and even though you knew you would get in trouble for it, you couldn’t hide from the truth.

What you hadn’t expected was Obi-Wans complete silence. He hadn’t spoken to you since you arrived back to base, and you were sure he was just preparing for the council meeting where he would back you, abide by your decision, or at the very least say something. He didn’t. Anakin and Ahsoka tried their best to influence the council, but neither of them held the power to do much. Anakin was still not yet a Master Jedi, and Ahsoka; although she had the attitude of one, was not yet a general.

So now you were marching back to your room, empty halls of the ship seeming colder and colder the further you get from Obi-Wan. You knew what you did betrayed the sacred oath you made the day you put on your Jedi robes. Jedi did not make emotional connections, the order had to be put first, and the good of the galaxy depended on it. You knew you risked countless lives by losing that critical information, and you knew you would be reprimanded.

You didn’t regret it though.

You were always a rule breaker, a little bit of a rebel in regards to the orders strict guidelines on that kind of behaviour - how were you to truly care about the galaxy if you had no one in it to protect? It was human nature to form connections - and practically impossible not to care in the case of Obi-Wan’s life. Did they expect you not to attempt to save him, even when there was a way to do so?

Obi-Wan was one of the many times you broke the rules. You were infatuated with him ever since you met him - he was significantly older than you, yes, although not by so much it would be deemed inappropriate. You were both adults, so it was more your occupations that kept you from admitting your feelings. He found you on Corellia, sacrificed his time and patience to mould you into the perfect fighter, fought for your right to train beside the Jedi even with your training being so late. He stuck up for you your entire life, and it made his silence that much more painful. 

You finally trudged through the ship far enough to find your room, and as you go to enter, you feel two familiar figures come up behind you, and a female voice calls your name.

“We were waiting outside, but they made us leave after they called the session.” Ahsoka says, and she reaches out to hold your arm, careful to miss the bandage holding you together. 

“It’s fine. Nothing happened we didn’t already know would happen.” You knew they would remove your titles - take away your leadership of your battlement. It was a glorified way of grounding you, sending you to your room as if you were a child.

“What of Obi-Wan? There has to be a way to change their mind. He has to be trying.” Anakin says, shaking his head. Him and his master have always gotten along, and their bond is one that rivals brothers, but you know Anakin takes after you in the attitude department, so as he paces up and down the corridor, you know he’s as pissed as you.

“What of him? He couldn’t even look at me. I don’t think he even blinked the entire session.” You scoff, and even Ahsoka shakes her head, more confused than angry.

“He’s going to have to speak up sometime.” Ahsoka says, and releases your arm.

“He will if I have anything to say about it. Padmè will talk to the council about the diplomatic influence, she’s already speaking to the other generals. We will have you back out there in no time.” Anakin’s eyes are fiery, and you smile at the man who was once a boy, small and unsure now so confident and clear.

“If he wanted to, he would of. Thank you, both of you for your help, but I’m just going to have to ride this one out. There’s nothing I can do about it now.” Both of them look at you with the same sympathetic frown, and you would laugh at how similar they are if you weren’t feeling so defeated.

“For what it’s worth, I would have done the same thing.” Anakin says, and he steps forward. You know he’s talking about Padmè, and you nod, a mutual understanding of the conflicting emotions of the Jedi way. They both turn to leave, and you can hear the hushed conversation of their plan as they round the corner.

You enter your room and fall onto the bed, the air rushing out as soon as your head hits the pillow. The past few days have been entirely exhausting, and you weren’t just thinking about the cuts and bruises that now littered your skin. This little incident has forced you to really own up to your feelings towards Obi-Wan. The way you felt when you were faced with the possibility of him dying tore you to shreds, and the strength of those emotions were impossible to draw up to just an admiration of a friend, or a small crush born of gratitude. You were in love with him, and you had been for a while. You knew it was wrong and you wanted to fight it, fight the feeling you drowned in whenever he was in the room, whenever he smiled at you or pulled you away to talk about battle plans, knowing no one else would understand the way he thinks but you.

It also forced you to think about how he may feel about you. He reacted so quickly, throwing himself on top of you when the explosive dropped, and the look in his eye told you he wouldn’t of regretted dying for you. His Force - the energy you knew so well felt different - like he was reaching into your body and touching everything inside you, giving you no option but to yield to him. The intensity of it - it was nothing you had ever felt before.

It made it hard to breathe, thinking about that. Would he have ever felt the same? He was one of the most accomplished Jedi in the galaxy, surely there was no way he would return those feelings, right?

It was impossible - you and him, for so many reasons, the main one being how you were now banned from fighting, banned from council meetings and practically shunned from the Republic just for presenting the idea that he meant more to you than you let on. One mistake, you said to yourself, but you weren’t entirely sure it was a mistake.

Your eyes began to close, and even with everything in your life being pulled apart, you can’t help but drift off. Your energy is drained, and maybe that’s why after you fall into a deep sleep, you don’t feel Obi-Wan’s presence at your door before he knocks, softly, almost as if he doesn’t want you to hear it.

You know its him as soon as you open your eyes, able to recognise his energy anywhere, but when he says your name, you throw the blanket off and move to open the door.

Dull lights from the hallway don’t show you any emotions on his face. It has to be the middle of the night. His hair is out of place and he looks so unlike himself. He is almost always put together, in his robes and armed with his lightsaber, but he stands in front of you in just a few layers and no weapon to be seen.

“Wh- What are you doing?” He shifts his weight onto the other leg and finally looks at you.

“I needed to see you. The council held me all day. May I?” He motions to behind you. Was he asking to come in to your room, at three in the morning? After what has just happened?

“I don’t know if thats a good idea, considering.” Your voice is small. The truth is that you do want him to come in, more than you’ve wanted anything. To have him in close quarters, all to yourself - it’s what you’ve wanted for years, and you hate that you have to sound even slightly hesitant.

“If you don’t want to see me, I understand. I’ll go.” He steps backwards and your hand shoots forward to grab the wrist of his robe before you can think.

“No! I do.” Damn, you folded fast under those puppy dog eyes he was giving you. You step out, looking left and right. The hallway is completely empty, and you dont have long before the skeleton crew of night guards come back through on their rotation. “Come.”

He moves swiftly past you and closes the door behind him, you going to sit on the edge of your bed. You sigh, trying to get a hold of the swirling array of emotion twisting in your stomach. It felt similar to wanting to puke. On one hand you want to scream at him, demand him to answer for the way he acted, or rather didn’t act in the council meeting.

On the other, you want to take advantage of this time. You have already lost the one thing that kept you from admitting your feelings to him, what more could you lose? You don’t get a chance to decide, because he speaks first, standing in front of you.

“I wanted to apologise. The way that I behaved today - it was cowardly. I should have spoken sooner.” You were nodding, but when he says sooner you look up at him and tilt your head. “When the council dismissed you, I felt the true consequence of my actions. I ordered a reconsideration.”

That makes your eyes widen a little. The thought of the Obi-Wan Kenobi arguing with the entire council on your behalf makes the heat in your cheeks heavier, and you look away, hoping he can’t sense it.

“A reconsideration?” You repeat, and he nods.

“Yes. I was afraid I may of found my bearings too late, but I explained how your actions were only fuelled by your respect for me, and that you would have done the same for any council member had they been in my place. I know how much you respect the order and your superiors, and I told them as much. We have a… unique connection, something other people might not completely comprehend. I explained as best I could.” You blink, trying to take in every word, but you are stuck on the first part. Your actions weren’t fuelled by respect. Your heart acted before your mind did, and he had just lied to the council for you, because he knew it too.

“I find it hard to imagine you had anything to say, considering you stayed so silent during the three hours of my own hearing.” Anger bubbles up your chest at his dismissing statement, and he rubs his hands over his face.

“I apologise. I was - not in the right mind to speak. I was afraid I would only make the situation worse.” His voice shakes slightly as he stops talking.

“So, you lied.” 

“I did not lie. You deserve your place, on the battle field and on that council one day. I will not let this incident ruin your career. Not over something like this.” The unsaid words hang in the air, thick as smoke.

Not over me.

“You did lie. You told them I did it out of respect.” You can’t look at him, nerves starting to break up that anger you felt as his voice gets softer. He says your name again, and you take a deep breath, preparing yourself for his response.

“I also told them about what I did. You are not the only one who acted on instinct. I was unprepared; arrogant even. I should have listened to you.” You scoff and shake your head. “Tell me how I can make this right.”

“Look, whats done is done. Thank you for speaking in my favour, but the council has made up their minds.” Defeated, and convinced you weren’t going to hear what you so desperately wanted to hear, you move further away from him on the bed and let your back rest against the wall. He was quiet for a moment, letting you sigh and sink into the wall. Maybe he thought you were going to continue - he seemed to be anticipating something. After a while, though, he starts to fidget and shifts his weight to the other side again.

“I know you have more to say to me. Argue with me; yell at me, if you must. Just speak to me.” He finally speaks. You dont remember ever seeing him this unsteady. You sigh again and find his eyes, already looking at you, pleading.

“You threw yourself at me. You would have died today if I hadn’t thrown that explosive. Do you really expect me to believe you also did that out of respect for the Jedi?” His face doesn’t change, he doesn’t even move. “Because I didn’t. I didn’t think about the Jedi, or the information on those computers. I wasn’t even thinking about myself. I thought of you. I wanted to save you.” The confession sheds a weight of your shoulders you didn’t even know you were carrying, and your mouth is suddenly dry as Obi-Wan continues to stare at you. He goes to speak and his voice cracks, so he swallows hard and tries again.

“I wanted to save you too.” You think you stopped breathing. “If you had gone in first, you would have.... It would have been my fault. I couldn’t bare it; to lose you would destroy everything.” Your eyebrows furrow together and you slide off the bed, standing only a few steps from him.

“Destroy your plan to get me on the council?” 

“It would destroy me.” You see it beginning to crack; the fragile glass ceiling that kept your deepest secrets below. You suck in a breath as his voice cracks and he keeps talking somehow. “What you said, about lying to the council. You are right. You know I respect you as a general, and I want all those things I spoke about for you. I want to provide that for you. To think you would lose that because of me - it couldn’t happen.”

It couldn’t happen.

This, the heat swirling in between you in the dimly lit room, it couldn’t happen. It would mean the destruction of both of your lives, and you knew that. You never expected him to say any of this in front of the council, but a small part of you dared to hope he would say it to you. 

“I understand.” Your head drops, and you see his hand rise up, and a finger coming underneath your chin. Your breath hitches as he gently brings your face back up to his, the warmth of his skin a welcomed return. This was it. The crossing of the invisible line. It felt so much easier to do now that you were here. You resist the urge to press into his touch.

“I lied to the council, but I am not sure how much longer I can lie to myself.” His eyes search yours for any sign of confusion, or resentment, or anything other than the heavy longing that has been building over years and years of close proximity. However, its you who hesitates this time, although you dont pull away.

“Obi, this - I won’t let you risk your position for this. Mine is already at threat, we can’t - I know what the order means to you. I couldn’t - ”

“Had you said the words, I would have left the Jedi Order.” Your heart flutters and your stomach drops. Left? “I nearly lost you yesterday and I - I don’t know what to do. How can I continue on this path when I feel this way? The one thing that feels right - how can it be viewed as so wrong?” You step towards him this time, wanting to be closer.

“You mean you-”

“When I threw myself over you yesterday, it was because I couldn’t imagine living in this galaxy if you were not by my side. You are the only thing worth more than this. Any of this. I want - truely, I want to serve the republic - the planets, bring aid and peace where I can and protect those who cannot fend for themselves. It is all I’ve wanted my entire life. I never knew I could- that I would want anything else- until I met you.” You bring your hand to cover his own on your face, and he closes his eyes when your hands thread together.

“You won’t have to leave this behind. I swear. I’ll talk to the council, admit it was my fault. We can figure this out, together.” You can’t compute his confession, not yet, not when he’s going down this road of throwing everything he’s worked for out the vat - for you.

“You will do no such thing.” Your face is screwed up with worry and your anxiety of the danger of confessing your feelings is creeping up, but you feel his energy mixing with your own, and he is so calm and steady it makes your hands stop shaking.

“I care for you, too. A little too much, I think.” He smiles for the first time in days, absorbing the heat of your words and letting them sink into his skin. “We- we just need time. We can figure this out. Let this whole thing settle down first.” You nod at your own plan and hold his hand tighter to your face, not wanting the contact to end.

“Whatever you want, I will make sure of it. I will not silence myself again, I swear it.” You smile this time, and his thumb comes to run over your bottom lip. His eyes widen with the contact, as if he’s surprised by his own actions.

“I know why you did now. You didn’t want them to think it was true. Because you already knew how I felt about you, didn’t you?” You smile a little and he mirrors it.

“You were never all that proficient at hiding how you feel. It took everything in me to cover your anger during the session.” You think of how he was so concentrated, looking almost in pain as he watched you in silence. “But yes, I have known of your feelings for a while, although I wasn’t sure if they were aimed at me.” You step forward again, and you can feel his chest against yours, robes brushing your bare arms.

“How long?”

“A few months. My own - affections, however, have been stirring for quite longer, if I am honest with myself.” He almost sounds ashamed, and you want to punch every single council member for making him feel that way.

“If it makes you feel better, I have definitely had a crush on you for longer than that.” He breaths out a laugh, and you feel it on your cheeks. 

“Is that so?” You loved this side of him, teasing and lighthearted. It was rarer these days, but it made you feel warm inside that he let you see it.

“Don’t let it go to your head.” You roll your eyes and grin at him, and he closes the distance between you. He doesn’t kiss you, but he’s close enough that if you stuck your chin out just a fraction, your lips would touch. Your legs feel like jelly and you are sure he can feel how nervous you are through the energy you must be putting out, but you never hide it. Not from him. You hear him swallow, and you keep your eyes closed.

Just in case.

“I don’t know what this is.” He says, his honesty making you feel a lot more at ease. Neither of you have any idea how to play this, of what is too far. All you know is how badly you want him to kiss you.

“Neither do I.” He nods and leans his forehead to yours. Now all you would have to do is tilt your head, and you could finally feel him against you how you have wanted to all these years. “We can just- go slow. Okay?”

“Slow.” He says and you can feel him sigh, and then he moves. He tilts his head. You stay deadly still, afraid to scare him off. As much as you both are completely inexperienced, you are pretty sure he has less an idea than you do. You were 19 when he found you, and didn’t become a Jedi until two years after, so you had some time to experiment in that department, but from what you know, Obi-Wan has been dedicated since childhood - something you admire about him.

His breathing picks up and his lips brush against yours. He was right there, all you had to do was move. He makes a small sound in the back of his throat and you cant contain yourself anymore. You move your head to capture his mouth in yours.

The kiss is as perfect as any first kiss you could imagine. It was sweet, no tongue, just slow, simple movements as you both explore the feeling of each other. His free hand comes to your hip on instinct, pressing you harder against him. He clearly wasn’t prepared for his own action again, a moan of surprise vibrating against your lips as your bodies come together. You move both of your arms around his neck, one tangling in his messy hair.

As you start to find a rhythm, the hand on your hip gets tighter, needing you to be closer, to touch more of him. You need it too, and as much as you wanted to rip his clothes off right now, your sense of urgency is dulled by the unknown of if this would ever happen again, so you were going to be as slow and explorative as possible. 

You swipe your tongue along his bottom lip, and you feel him jolt a little under the movement. It sends warmth through your entire body to know how affected he is by you, and it only makes you want to give him more. You owed everything to him, your entire life, and you wanted to show him just how much you appreciated him. 

He opens up to you and you slide into his mouth, the feeling of him moving against you making you moan. The sound mades him tense, and he gets a little more desperate with his movements, kissing you a little harder and walking to back you up against the bed. You spin and push him back, and his legs give out so he sits on the edge.

He looks up at you, chest heaving. He extends his arms and you take the hint, straddling him and bringing your mouth back to his. Both of his hands stay off your ass, one coming back on your hip, which you think he likes because he can create the tiniest amount of friction between you, the other resting on the small of your back. You keep your arms around his neck and he twists his head a little, inching your hand back up into his hair. You smile a little and oblige him, twisting your fingers through the soft strands. 

You start to feel him harden underneath you, but you don’t want to push him. Instead, you just follow the grip on your hip and start to move when he does, grinding against him ever so slightly. He moans instantly, a deep, low sound that vibrates to your bones. You do it again, and he gasps, so you tear your lips away from him to let him breath. His mouth chases yours and you giggle.

“I don’t think I will ever get enough of that.” He murmurs as he kisses your nose. You roll your hips again and his spine straightens, capturing your lips in another kiss. “Or that.”

“So greedy.” He laughs and kisses you again, and you can tell he’s not really sure where to go from here as his grip begins to loosen on your hip. “Have you ever..?”

He shakes his head, and drops his forehead to your chest. You let the tips of your fingers lightly scrape against his scalp and he ‘hmms’ under his breath, enjoying the sensation but also hiding from you.

“Thats okay. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to be with you right now. Whatever that means.” He looks up and kisses you again. You know what this would mean, the final nail in the coffin for him.

Technically, its the emotional connection that the Jedi do not allow. The physical side of things is not forbidden, as long as there is no relationship, although most Jedi observe celibacy as a general rule. You have since you met him, it would have been impossible for you to have one without the other. 

The movement of your hips is not the problem for him, though. It’s the fact that you both know there is more here than just a physical attraction. You admitted it. This would be breaking the code.

You only care right now if he does.

“I want- Maker. I want to. This is-“ He talks and cuts himself off by kissing you, never finishing a sentence. You look up and laugh and he just kisses your throat, turning to kiss your neck when you look to the side. You stop laughing when you feel his arms wrap around you tighter and a slight scrape of his teeth against the spot that makes you shiver. He pulls back to look at you, and then does it again, kissing and scraping his teeth, biting experimentally.

You can tell he’s enjoying it, and he spends a while moving himself up and down your neck, finding all the little places that make you gasp and hum.

“Oh, Obi. Shit.” Your head drops to his shoulder and your hips start to move on their own. He keeps kissing your neck, starting to suck and bite in the spot he seems to have deemed his favourite. He moans against your skin, and a small fire in the pit of your stomach sparks and warms your entire body. You pull on his hair again, and his hips buck slightly.

“This is okay?” He says against you and you nod and roll your hips again.

“Yes. Yes.” He continues, and that same shiver goes up your spine.

“You are so soft.” His nose drags along your throat and your mouth drops open.

“Can I- Can I touch you?” You ask desperately and he pulls away from your skin, nudging your head up to find your eyes.

“You want to?” He seems genuinely curious, and you nod. Your hands come to his chest and you slide them up to his shoulders, bringing the two layers of robes off his shoulders slowly, giving him ample time to stop you. He helps to pull them off, and then you bring his hands to your shirt. His eyes widen a little at the thought, but you see him try to regain composure.

“Do you want to?” He grabs the hem of your shirt and fists the material.

“Please.” He breaths out and pulls your shirt over your head slowly, goosebumps appearing where his fingertips brush your skin. When the shirt finally comes off he lets his eyes trail along your now exposed skin, just a small bralette holding you from him. You lean back a little so both of his hands can find your ribs, and they run strong lines up and down your sides.

“So soft.” He repeats and you begin to melt into his lap.

You bring your hands to the hem of his shirt, and he clearly is not as patient as you, his own coming over the top and whipping the shirt over his head. You have seen him without his shirt before, sometimes after training he would tear it off before he disappears into his room and you would get a glimpse of his back, but now you were up close and could look as much as you want.

He was built; bigger than he looks under all those robes, and you run your hands over the hard muscle, wanting to remember the feeling of every inch. He keeps one hand on your rib cage and brings the other to your chin to kiss you again.

“You are beautiful.” He whispers, and your heart sparks at the compliment.

“So are you.” You return and he smiles into the kiss. Your hand finds the hem of his pants, fingertips dancing along the seam and he sucks in a deep breath. “We don’t have to do anything. Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

“Have you done this? Before.” As much as you want to tell him no if only to make him relax, you can’t lie to him. You nod your head.

“Not for a while. Not since I met you.” This sparks something in his eye, and you would never have picked him for a possessive guy, but it seems he likes the idea of him being the reason you haven’t.

“I have not. I am not sure I know-“

“Anything you do is perfect. Just relax, okay? Let me make you feel good.” He tilts his head as you slide off him, and sits up a little to come with you. You just stop him with your hands on his thighs, and slip your fingers into the waistline of his pants.

You aren’t sure how you manage to be so patient with the way he’s looking at you - eyes wide and bottom lip between his teeth, but you wait. Wait for him to say stop, or to bring you back into his lap and change the direction. He does neither, and you pull ever so slightly, revealing skin you’ve never seen before. You tilt your head up at him and he just nods repeatedly, moving his hips in a silent plea.

“Oh, Maker. What do I d-” With another deep breath, his eyes flutter closed and then back open, trying to figure out if he wants to watch or just feel you. You slide his pants down a little more and you can see how hard he is already. You look up at him again, and he’s staring so intently that you feel he would have said something if he wanted you to stop. His energy is warm around you, like nothing you’ve ever felt and it is full of curiosity and heat. You pull his pants down past his knees.

Sliding in between his legs you bring your face closer to his length, and your breath is hot against his skin. His pants drop to his ankles and he quickly kicks them off.

You start slow, placing a kiss to the inside of his thigh, and his hips jolt in response. You laugh breathlessly, and decide there will be plenty of time to tease him later.

You were going to make this so good for him that he will never be able to think of anything else when he looks at you.

You start at his head, kissing him gently. Then, finding his eyes you lick a long stripe up him from base to tip. He strangles a moan, and his eyes never leave you as you take the tip of him into your mouth and suck gently.

“I-oh maker. Fuck.” You can see the way every part of his body relaxes under your manipulation, and a rush of heat floods your body. Something about Obi-Wan swearing, coming undone because of you makes your own arousal begin to grow, but you try to focus all your energy on him. You stay there for a while, gently sucking and letting your tongue swipe over him, enjoying the little moans he makes every time you do so.

When your sure he’s relaxed, you look up at him again and spit, bringing your hand up to coat his length, making it as wet as you can. His eyes roll back at the image, and every time your hand works him his hips buck to meet you.

You take him into your mouth and hollow your cheeks, letting him fuck your face as much as he wants. He was acting off pure instinct, it’s still slow and a little uncertain but he starts to go a little deeper when he feels you moan around his length, a wordless plea for him to take what he needs. A hand finds your hair, not to push you down but just to hold, a reminder of where he is. The other arm supports his weight as he no longer holds himself up, and you pull off of him after a few strokes, saliva coating your mouth.

“How does it feel?” His eyes are squeezed shut and his abs are flexing so hard he almost looks like he’s in pain. You don’t know why it didn’t occur to you before, but he’s probably also never had an orgasm. It makes you want to work even harder, make him feel even better, so you take him back inside your mouth before he answers.

“So go-ah! So good. Stars- You feel so good. How are you so good?” He’s completely lost in his own pleasure and it makes you feel all tingly in your stomach. You try to keep your eyes on him and work him faster, grip him harder as you push to get him over the edge. You keep pumping him in your hand as your mouth comes off him to catch your breath for a second.

“I can make you feel so much better.” You take him back into your mouth, and the sounds of him inside of you are only muffled by how loud he is, moaning your name and strangled cries every time he hits the back of your throat. Small tears start to form in your eyes but you keep going, every sound he makes only making you feel hotter. You can feel him everywhere - and when you start to take him as deep as you can, he hits the back of your throat once and he shudders.

“Wait! St-stop. Wait.” Immediately you pull off him, and you can see how fucking close he was, the tip of him leaking pre cum and his entire body shaking.

“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” He nods, trying to catch his breath. You wipe your mouth with your thumb, and slip it into your mouth wanting to savour the taste of him.

“Something feels - strange. I don’t know wh-” He’s breathing so hard it takes him a moment to get the words out in a way you understand - but you know. You know exactly what he’s going to say, and save him from his clear embarrassment when you lean up to whisper on his ear.

“Good strange? Or bad?”

“I can’t- good. Overwhelming; I can’t feel a-anything else.” He sounds a little worried, but the pleasure is evident in how he drags out his words. He’s worried because he can’t feel the familiar safety of the Force when his mind goes blank.

“It’s- it’s okay. I promise. Relax, okay? I’m right there with you.” He nods rapidly and even though he’s noticeably a little nervous his body scoots further off the edge, closer to your mouth. You smile and lean in, and he instantly falls right back into his building orgasm.

You work him hard and fast, swirling your tongue and taking him as deep as you can. He gets louder as you get quicker, and you can’t help but moan around him as he thrusts into you with less composure.

“Hol- yes, that’s- right there oh gods-“ His entire body shakes as he cums in your mouth. His orgasm takes all the strength in his body and he falls back, arm giving out as he flops onto the bed. He says your name over and over and it’s like it hits him in waves, you just keep pumping him into your mouth and taking whatever he gives you. His abs are flexing every time you take him into the back of your throat and the slight reaction as he stops moaning your name makes you slow down.

His hand comes over his abdomen and you watch as he begins to come back to his body, the rise and fall of his chest becoming a little more even as you slide him out of your mouth.

“Come here.” He says, his voice so low and thick that you move faster than you thought possible. You come up next to him, and gasp as his hands find your wrists and he pins you against the bed, both of you vertical on the bed and your head perfectly centre on the pillows. He looks over you, completely naked and kisses you deeply, his tongue sliding into your mouth. He was a quick learner. The taste of him is still on your tongue, and the mixture of his mouth makes your head spin.

“Was that okay?” You ask under him and he presses a short kiss to your lips and then laughs.

“You are joking, right? That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.” You blush at the way he looks at you, completely enamoured. “I want to make you feel like that.” You freeze and all the blood in your body rushed to your core. A look of determination you’ve seen from training covers his expression.

“You don’t have to, don’t feel like ob-“

“Let me make you feel good.” He purrs your words from earlier in your ear and your eyes flutter closed as he pulls your pants down your legs. He leaves your underpants on, and shifts so his body is between your legs. He hangs above you, and the way his eyes drop down to your underwear and slowly work their way back up to your face makes you feel hot all over. He stays like that, above you as he does something you can only describe as admiring you.

One of his hands brushes over your stomach, fingers tracing aimless lines along your skin. You try to stay as still as possible, but the way he looks at you, how he runs his hands so so close to the hem of your underwear, and then slide away to explore somewhere else. It isn’t long until your squirming underneath him.

“Please, Obi-Wan.” He blinks a couple times, focusing back on what he was doing.

“Sorry. Your beautiful.” He leans down to press a kiss to your stomach, and then copies what you did to him, moving down your body, kissing your thighs and it making your back arch. “Show me.”

“Wh-what do you want to do?” He looks up at you and, after seeing you smile at him encouragingly, slowly drags your underpants down your legs, making sure his fingertips touch all the exposed skin they can on the way. Then he lays down between your legs, and looks up at you, awaiting instruction. “Fuck. O-okay.”

You open your legs a little more and let your hand tangle in his hair. He leans into that touch, and he ‘hmms’ again as you run your fingertips through it. He kisses your thighs again, and his tongue darts out to lick the skin there a little bit. You realise he’s still waiting.

“Just- anything. Please touch me.”

“Hmm. You never were a good teacher.” Your jaw drops open and you laugh without making a sound, way too distracted with how sexy he looks between your legs.

“Give me your hand.” He does as you ask, and you run his hand down over your stomach. His hands are softer than you thought, and when you bring one of his fingers over your clit, you let out a long moan of his name.

You show him how you would touch yourself, but somehow it feels a hundred times better with his hand. He follows your motions and you let go, fisting the blankets as he copies you. It takes him a moment but he never takes his eyes off you, watching as each time he touches you right your body reacts, and faster than you were prepared for he starts to build a perfect pattern.

“Like this?” He applies more pressure and you arch further off the bed. Of course he would be a fast learner. You feel him move closer, his breath hot on your arousal. You nod frantically and moan in a loud, long release. “What about this?”

“Oh fuck! Yes, just like that!” He flicks his tongue over your clit. You don’t remember a time you’ve been this sensitive so fast, but then again you’ve never had someone as incredible as Obi-Wan Kenobi between your legs. He swirls his tongue in the same pattern he was creating with his fingers and the feeling intensifies, your nerve endings buzzing with pleasure.

“Need more. Wanna feel you.” You break out between gasps and he unfortunately takes his expert mouth off you to answer.

“Okay, darling. Show me, okay?” He brings his hand up again and you quickly bring two of his fingers into your mouth and suck on them. He never takes his eyes of you, the image of you sucking his cock earlier surely running through his mind. You run his hand back down and guide them to your entrance and he slides them into you.

“Move them- oh, shit - up. Just a little.” You prop yourself up on your forearms but your head drops back as he curls his fingers inside you, and you practically sob when he does it again while returning his mouth to your clit.

He starts slow, and you are too enveloped in your own pleasure to give him instructions, but it’s like he reads your body. You both work so in sync with each other on the battle field and in meetings, it makes sense he would be able to give you exactly what you were so desperate for without having to speak. He can feel every time he does in the right way, when his tongue and his fingers sync up, and he chases the form every time.

Once he figures out a pattern that makes you squirm he goes faster. The pace makes your eyes roll in the back of your head thinking about how good he makes you, and only you, feel.

“Right there. Oh m-“ He takes your clit into his mouth and sucks. If you thought he was loud, you were definitely louder as you cry out, begging him not to stop.

“So- stars; so pretty.” He says and you can feel the heat of his words on your wetness. “And so wet. For me?”

“Yes. Always for you.” He groans and goes faster and faster, his entire mouth exploring the taste of you while still hitting that spot that makes you cry out.

“So fucking warm. Thought about this - feel perfect.” The lewdness of his words make your legs begin to shake and you can’t see - can’t feel anything but the earth shattering sensation filling every part of your body.

Pleasure builds faster than ever and you can’t prepare for how hard you cum in his mouth. Everything flashes in sparkles of heat and melts your mind until you can’t think - pulling his hair and riding his face through your pleasure.

Your leg muscles were sore already and you manage to open your eyes to see your thighs have seized up around his head, keeping him in place. He doesn’t seem to mind, and although he has taken his fingers out of you his mouth remains, aimlessly tasting you seemingly for his own enjoyment. He has no idea the effect he’s having on you, and his tongue brushes over your clit occasionally, the overstimulation making your lungs burn.

“Oh Maker. Obi please come here.” You say, and your shakey legs drop open from his head. He looks up at you, and takes a final taste of your pussy before crawling up your body, kissing you.

“You taste sweet.” He whispers into your mouth. There’s something about how dirty the words are mixed with how proper and polite he always is that makes your legs shake for a different reason, and you pull him down next to you, curling your body into his.

“You are amazing.” It’s his turn to blush, and you see a little red come across his cheeks in the dim light of the room.

“Hardly in comparison, my love.” Your heart is slamming in your ears. That was your favourite nickname, you think. He brushes the hair out of your face, a finger tucking it behind your ear so he can see you better.

“Can you stay?” He shouldn’t. You know he shouldn’t, because if anyone sees him leaving tomorrow everything you both said at the council meeting will be worthless.

“Of course I will stay. As long as you want me to.” You smile into his neck as you bury your face there.

“I want you all the time.”

“Then I will stay all the time.” You both smile, enjoying the simplicity of this moment, knowing it will not last.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now, okay?” You can sense his worry - and you are relieved you sense no regret like you were so sure he would feel. His muscles relax under your words and he nods, pulling your back against his chest so you can feel his slowing heart beat. Somehow - as if it was possible, you feel more connected to him that before. Your energies were always intertwined, but now it’s like they were fused. You could still tell who was who, and they could be taken apart, but together they formed something greater - stronger; and you knew he could feel it too.

You both fall asleep soon after, knowing tomorrow will bring forward a thousand new challenges, with a million new consequences.

You don’t care.

The world could burn down around you, and you would happily watch it, as long as you could do so in his arms. There will be nothing they can take, nothing they can say that will diminish how you feel, and no Jedi Order could convince either of you that what you felt for each other was wrong.

If anything, it made you stronger, and maybe one day you could prove it to them.

[bonky-n-steeb]

crescent

— bodyguard! bucky barnes x popstar! reader

summary || you cannot resist your mysterious, grumpy and sexy bodyguard, Bucky Barnes. (bodyguard au)

warnings || unprotected sex. car sex. daddy kink. dom/sub undertones. fingering. dirty talk. petname (princess). pining. PWP. — MINORS DNI

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The glitter on your eyelids and the sweat dripping off your forehead sparkled in the focus of bright lights as you bent down for a final bow.

The audience roared rowdily as you as you waved them goodbye and walked away from their eyes and into the darkness of the backstage.

You shut off your mic and discarded all the wires on your body before starting to jump around in excitement. “It was amazing! Everyone loved it!” Wanda, your manager, clapped with exhilaration.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Wan, I can’t believe this!” You hugged her tightly and you were both jumping on the spot with excitement.

“I knew you’d do it! I just knew!” Wanda wasn’t just your manager but your best friend and confidante too. And when no one else had believed in you, she had.

This wasn’t your very first concert, but still every concert for you was just as important. The thrill of singing in front of the mob of people who loved you was better than any drug.

“Come on! Let’s get you into the car before they come swarming in.” Fame came with pros and cons. The love of your fans was both, a pro and a con.

Sometimes it got a little too much and people forgot you were a real human with emotions rather than a part of your their fantasy.

You nodded to Wanda and your eyes search for one man specifically among the mass of people working backstage.

“Where’s Bucky?” You asked Wanda as you both started walking. “He’s waiting outside to escort you to the car.” Wanda informed as you two hurried past everyone.

You were wearing a short checkered skirt and thigh high boots. You paired that with a corset top which made you feel sexy as fuck.

You had defied expectations and marched to your own rhythm right since the beginning. And at this point, you didn’t care what people commented about your body.

You were tired and exhausted after performing for so long but the instant you saw Bucky, you quickly improved your posture and tried appearing energetic.

James Bucky Barnes code named the winter soldier, was a high profile bodyguard, you had hired. He previously worked for President Steve Rogers, and even you didn’t know till now how you afforded him.

He was broody and mysterious and mouth-wateringly handsome. His sharp jawline and steel blue eyes could make you dizzy with just one look.

You didn’t know much about him, but at the same time, you knew his weirdest little habits like how he listed down all the things he had to do in a day and that he owned a cute white cat, alpine.

He just gave a quick nod, and didn’t even say a word more as you walked besides him. He was constantly checking your periphery to see if you were away from harms way.

You sighed when you finally hoped into the limousine and Bucky followed close by while Wanda stayed back to ensure everything ended smoothly.

“Did you like the show?” You wiggled happily as you asked him. Bucky was in a grumpy mood 24x7 and today was no different.

“It was good.” He stated flatly as the car started. “Only good? Not excellent? Not outstanding? Not out of this world?” You always shamelessly flirted with Bucky and he resisted.

“It was really good.” Some days you wanted to punch Bucky, this was one of those days. “Okay.” You just grunted and turned your head away. But what you didn’t notice was the way his lips smirked up as you acted out.

Bucky wordlessly thrusted a water bottle in your hand and you greedily gulped down the much needed water with some droplets slipping past your lips.

Bucky’s eyes refused to move away from the stray droplets as they disappeared past your cleavage. He knew he should avert his eyes but he was just not able to.

He wanted to lick clean each of those droplets and fuck you until you begged him to stop. He always acted restrained and grumpy because otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.

You caught him staring and you didn’t know what was in the air, but you wanted nothing more than Bucky to just hold you down and fuck you into oblivion right in this car.

You purposely let the bottle slip out of your hand and spill on the floor. “Oops!” You you giggled and bent down to pick it up from the floor.

You knew Bucky was getting a great view of your ass from beneath the really short skirt, and that’s exactly what you wanted.

You wiggled your ass, pretending to be innocent, as you chased the bottle which was laying right in front of you.

Bucky’s hand was itching with the need of grabbing your ass. But Bucky was nothing if not professional. He folded his palm into a fist and clenched his jaw tight.

“Like something you see?” You teased as Bucky’s eyes were locked upon your ass. “Don’t tease me.” For the first time, you were seeing his professionalism slip.

“Or what?” You bit your lower lip as you asked and the next thing you knew, you were being pulled into Bucky’s lap.

“You gotta learn some fucking manners, princess.” His hands kneaded your ass and you let out an unholy moan at the slightest touch.

“Please…” your panties were dripping already. “Please what princess?” His hot breath on your neck was making you shiver with anticipation.

“Please fuck me..” you were breathless and pure lust was flowing through your veins. He swatted your ass and your eyes flew open, when you hadn’t even realised when you closed them in the first place.

“You know better than that princess.” You just knew what he was asking for and you were more than willing to give it to him.

“Please fuck me… daddy!”

“Now that’s my girl!” His lips were instantly on yours and he kissed you like a desperate man finally finding his elixir.

You weaved your hands through his short trimmed hair and held him close to your face as you both kissed passionately.

It was as if all that pent up sexual tension was poring itself out of the box you had both sealed it shut with. You could feel his hard cock near your core and you grind down on it.

“Fuck princess!” His fingers wrapped around your panties and ripped them right through the middle giving him access to your pussy. “Da… daddy!”

His fingers rubbed your arousal around before entering your dripping hole. You choked on your breath as his thick fingers stretched you.

He pumped them in you and you writhed on his lap as he pulled out and pushed them in. He placed his other hand around your waist to hold you steady.

You couldn’t stop the moans that spilled out of your mouth. All you cared about, were Bucky’s thick fingers fucking your cunt.

“Daddy I need more! I need you!” You panted as he continued his ministrations. “You are still too tight princess.” You shook your head and protested.

“I need you now! I need to feel you, please daddy!” You whined and Bucky pulled his fingers out. “Please please please!” You mumbled as Bucky pulled his cock out of his pants. It was long and curved slightly and thick with veins running down his length.

You stroked it before lining it up with your wet hole. You sighed when his head entered you, but then, Bucky gripped your waist and thrusted up in a single movement making you squeal out. “Daddy!”

“Shhh princess, you don’t want the driver to listen to your pretty moans, now do you?” The screen between the driver and you was down. Yet you both knew that by now he definitely had heard what was going behind his back.

The fact that you could get caught was making you drip with arousal. Bucky’s hand gripped your nape and the other held your waist as he thrusted up into you.

“Oh.. fuck..! Hnnggg..” you were reduced to a whimpering mess as kept hitting your spot repeatedly. You threw your head back in ecstasy and his lips attached to your neck.

He nipped and sucked on your neck and shoulders and that combined with his hard thrusts, was making you quiver. You just knew this was going to be the best fuck of your life.

“Harder Bucky! Please, I need more.” Bucky was an itch you just couldn’t scratch. “Yeah? God, princess, what am I gonna do with you?”

Bucky pulled out and you clenched around the air, pathetically begging for more. Bucky flipped you on your stomach on the car seat and swiftly entered you from behind.

“Is this what you wanted, huh? You wanted daddy to fuck you hard?” This time he was fucking you hard enough to choke on his dick.

You tried clutching the leather seats but they didn’t have any give to them. So you just laid with your face down and ass up, and took what Bucky was giving you.

“I… I’m….” You could feel the coil in your stomach was close to snapping. “You’re gonna cum?” Bucky could feel you clenching around his length.

“Yes! Yes please!” Bucky was getting off on you begging for him. “Cum for me, princess.” His words were enough to send you spiralling down the deep crescent of climax.

Bucky clenched his teeth as you squeezed his cock. Feeling you flutter around him, he couldn’t stop himself either and after a few desperate thrusts he was coming deep inside you.

“We’ve reached your house ma’am.” You both heard the driver speak through the speaker and you and Bucky, both dissolved into a fit of giggles.

You both were panting and sweating while Bucky was still sheathed in you and yet, you both couldn’t stop your laughter.

Bucky groaned as he pulled out of your heat and saw his cum dripping down your messy folds. The animalistic part of him proudly preened as he had finally marked you as his.

“Did you like it soldier?” You asked as you got up in a sitting position. You could feel his cum drip down your legs and your rubbed them together as you squirmed.

“I loved it princess. What do you think about a second round?” You almost gawked when you noticed that his cock was already half hard. “I’m always down for a second round daddy!”

[beauregardlionett]

the eclipse episode 5

note board below for my ramblings on this episode. this one is much more scatterbrained than the last one.

episodes 1-4

Character Notes

Akk

What we know so far - Akk being from a small town has achieved plot relevance as well as his adherence to the rules and desire to become a prefect - he tells Ayan that he’s at Suppalo on a scholarship and implies that he can’t afford to attend without it, and the same likely holds true for college; Mes was the student prefect that Akk looked up to when he was younger, and I hope we get more details about Mes because he very clearly idolized Mes (side note but this is bothering me: Mes’ face looks SO familiar but I cannot fucking place why) - a parental figure has entered the ring! Akk’s father spoke with him on the phone about needing to come say goodbye to his aunt before she left - all the insight we have for now but good to know he has parents - Akk is NOT the one who took Ayan’s journal from his locker - Akk is notably NOT annoyed at all by Ayan’s texts about being paired together for judo. in fact he actually smiles and laughs to himself a little, looking almost fond (and the shot was kind of wide so it was hard for me to tell, but right before the scene cut away, Akk almost looks a little surprised at himself for that reaction) - he went to find Teacher Chadok after the fight with Ayan, but it’s not clear what exactly he was going to talk to him about - Akk sought out Ayan after Ayan missed class, but didn’t talk to him after he saw Thua approach Ayan...what were you going to SAY MY GUY??

What we should keep in mind - Akk returns to the queer cafe and he still seems totally fine in that atmosphere so my money is on Akk knows he’s queer he’s just having a crisis that he’s being queer about Ayan as a person rather than Ayan being the same gender as him - springing from the pattern of Akk constantly threatening violence to Ayan if Ayan continued to step out of line finally culminated in Akk actually punching Ayan; he then later mentions he got into fights when he first arrived at Suppalo because he was bullied - i’m curious if Akk grew up rough and tumble or if he just snapped from the environment change and pressure - he seems to feel the need to hide how his feelings toward Ayan are changing from Kan and Wat, likely thinking that they wouldn’t understand and he’s too confused himself still to explain - i believe Akk is changing before he’s even aware of it, something honest breaking free without his permission; he’s the one to approach Ayan and offer up an olive branch, something Akk wouldn’t have done three episodes ago; he even acknowledges that he was after Ayan’s notebook when before he would deny it - Akk’s obsession with the rules and love for Suppalo has been revealed to have stemmed from the interactions he had and people he met during his first year there; Mes and Dika and maybe even Chadok showed him the path to a future Akk probably felt he previously didn’t have access to, but the exact details are still yet to be revealed, especially why Suppalo was the school Akk chose in the first place

Ayan What we know so far - Ayan’s journal has been snatched by an unknown figure (potentially the same one who has yet to be identified from earlier episodes) and while upset about the journal being taken seems relatively unconcerned about the contents of said journal being spread around - Ayan has moved on from giving Akk an out and now texts him to claim Akk as his partner for judo practice in advance - previously stated that Ayan seems well-educated; he was reading G. Orwell’s 1984 in his free-time because we know damn well that’s not on Suppalo’s required reading list - Ayan may have deleted the cheek kiss photo after sending it to Akk, but he still has sleepy Akk photos on that phone of his - Ayan absolutely is feeling some type of way about Akk at this point

What we should keep in mind - it seems like there is still a distance between Ayan and the World Remembers group in terms of protest planning, but I’m curious what Ayan was doing at the school when he found Akk at the end of the episode - I should have mentioned this previously but it seems that Ayan is extremely aware of when Akk is following him and I’m not sure if it’s just because Akk is bad at it or if Ayan is that paranoid, but I find it interesting that Ayan seems to always have his guard up even outside of the school - Ayan sending the photo to Akk felt like a test, especially when he gave Akk the out to save face about likely not deleting the photo by telling Akk to do it not in front of Ayan...I’m wondering if he’s clocked the cracks in the foundation of Akk’s beliefs in Suppalo (or maybe he’s just gay lol) - when Akk asked Ayan about what he meant regarding the curse, Ayan didn’t answer and instead asked “does the student prefect title mean that much to you?” and i know it was Ayan’s way of diverting the conversation but to me it also read as a protective mechanism, as if trying to keep Akk clear of whatever fall out Ayan knows is coming

Dika What we know so far - Dika met Akk after Akk got in a fight and was able to help Akk figure out how to move forward and was “just so understanding” which is a sentiment that Ayan agrees with; the idea that Akk’s personal sense of betrayal in calling Dika a “traitor” comes from a sense of abandonment seems much more plausible now - during the snippet of flashback, the interaction between Dika and Chadok seemed...fine. Chadok seemed calmer and less severe than he does in the present, even looking like he could crack a smile or something crazy like that

What we should keep in mind - something happened between Dika and Chadok - my bet is some dirty truth was uncovered in relation to the rules; Mr. Sit mentioned something of the like during his conversation with Ayan, but no one seems to know exactly what went down

Thua What we know so far - definitely does not have a good relationship with his step-father who is abrasive and verbally abusive (what we’ve seen on screen); Thua’s mother does seem to be trying to step in where she can - Thua abruptly left the car after his step-dad snapped at him and didn’t stop even when his mother called after him; someone is nearing a breaking point - despite not being the direct target of harassment about his sexuality, witnessing that bigotry immediately after being yelled at by his step-dad clearly affected Thua as well

What we should keep in mind - previously stated that he didn’t want to see Kan get hurt again - but it looks like he will have to, considering the ep6 preview - Thua seems to understand Ayan with more ease than his other classmates, especially for someone who has not had all that much on screen interaction with Ayan thus far, which makes me continue to think that they knew each other before Ayan started going to Suppalo - “it would be nice to disappear” i want to know how long Thua’s been thinking like this and the context in which he means disappear

Kan What we know so far - Kan has made progress! he did not immediately release Thua’s hand when other students saw them holding hands - an action that Kan initiated as well! in fact, it was Thua who let go of Kan’s hand, likely thinking that Kan would be uncomfortable - only for Kan to look frustrated and disappointed after Thua walked away (i’m curious what the catalyst for this change was) - Kan’s strong belief in the curse continues to be his go-to explanation for when things start going wrong around the school

What we should keep in mind - he is the only person we are shown on screen having seen/read Thua’s post, a scene which is immediately followed by “Bruce Wayne” contacting Thua; strong suspicion here that Kan is Bruce Wayne; if he is “Bruce” my guess is it’s an attempt at getting Thua to open up under the guise of anonymity - continuation note from previous one but considering we had a scene where the World Remembers trio was being very publicly harassed for being queer, Thua being glared at for holding hands with Kan, and the mounting tension of the curse, I would not be surprised if the reason Kan looks roughed up in the preview is because someone says the wrong thing to either him or Thua and Kan snaps

Wat What we know so far - actively sought out Teacher Sani to tell her that she was right to guess he wasn’t enjoying class - that he actually liked film; and she showed him that she was listening and talked to him briefly about his interests, thereby giving Wat a supportive adult in his corner - Wat’s mediator personality shines again in the phone scene where he waits to see how Akk will react first, and then explains his thoughts to Akk and Kan, acting as a balm to Akk’s more direct explanation; then again after Akk and Ayan’s fight when he talks Kan down from pushing Akk for answers

What we should keep in mind - Wat told Teacher Sani that he had spoken to his family about his film interest and was told it wasn’t a stable career; however when he was talking to Kan and Akk about a communication arts degree, he implied that they would never entertain the idea and made it sound like he had never brought it up and was assuming based off what he knows; i’m curious if anyone in his family has actually told him not to pursue film - Teacher Sani told him “you don’t always need to do what others expect of you” and i’m excited to see how that’s going to affect his growth going forward

The Curse

- we don’t get much new information on the curse in this episode, but in his emotionally driven rage, Ayan asked if the students wanted to know the truth about Suppalo’s curse - something that Akk tried to follow up on later, but Ayan didn’t give him a clear answer; the implication that Ayan already knows what’s going on and is only here to prove and expose it was not something I was expecting, but is definitely intriguing given his connection to Dika - Kan brings up the curse in the meeting with Teacher Sani about the World Remembers group, stating that there is almost a formula/legend for how the curse manifests which is...a highly concerning detail especially considering one involves literal burning (how has this been left unchecked what the fuck)

Things to Follow Up On

- the unknown figure from ep1 and ep2 (now appearing as the journal thief in ep5) is still unidentified; i think there was an attempt at misdirection by utilizing the framing they did with Akk at the end of the episode, but Akk does not have the journal and in the shots from ep2 the figure does not appear to be wearing a prefect armband - Namo was the one pretending to be a prefect in ep1 and then was the one to tell Thua that Kan got into a fight in ep2; also worth noting his actor is in the opening credits so best to keep an eye on him - the jacket sniff: Ayan gave Akk his hoodie which of course made me absolutely insane <3 - ep2 4/4 timestamp 2:15 - unfortunately no follow up - still no follow-up on the whispered conversation between Ayan and Thua, but I hold out hope - the individual who posted the protest video still has yet to be identified - Teacher Sani being willing to pay attention to the students and listen to them: further fulfilled by her interaction with Wat this episode, but I want to keep an eye on her progression throughout the show because Chadok was notably absent from this episode giving her that leeway to be a little softer; also there was a shot of her walking around the school at night at the end of the episode? - the first crack in the foundation of Akk’s belief: the cracks are spreading as evidenced by his leniency with the phone situation - Ayan’s emotional vulnerability in front of Akk: we didn’t see much of this in the same context as the last couple episode, but we did see Ayan thank Akk for stepping in and diverting the teachers from continuing to harass Ayan in class, as well as Ayan acknowledging that he reacted on emotion instead of logic when his journal went missing (though it appears from the preview for ep6 we’ll be getting some VERY emotionally vulnerable scenes between Akk and Ayan) - none of the students at Suppalo knowing Dika’s dead: AKK THE ANSWER IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! g o s h when Ayan changed the subject and immediately walked away, unable to tell Akk the truth about Dika? I was screaming <3 - Mr. Sit (the janitor) is now on my suspect list...previously he was in the spotlight for the van incident in ep1, then he gave Ayan the information about the rumor concerning Dika, and has interrupted charged moments between Ayan and Akk at least three times now, the last of which he seemed to have purposefully done so and did not look thrilled before he walked away...the vibes are off - Akk: no way. i don’t want to be like you. Ayan: how do you know? you haven’t even tried. Me: alright okay okay okay alright why am i emotional i’ve got my eye on you - Akk: why does it have to be you Me: elaborate - this whole time I’ve been curious about the World Remembers group and why they’re still at Suppalo if they’re clearly suffering so much; this episode gives the insight that they’ve tried to speak out about it to the teachers and to their families and friends and have been ignored/abandoned in every direction; if anything happens to these kids I’m rioting <3 “i truly believe tomorrow will be better than this”

Recurring Themes

- this isn’t exactly recurring but goes sort of hand in hand with the theme of Akk pulling Ayan closer (aggressively) but during the cafe conversation this episode, I absolutely LOVED the detail of body language between Akk and Ayan where they seemed to push and pull toward one another based on who had the upper hand in the conversation. when Akk felt smug and “on top” he would lean against the table and exude this aura of knowing he was winning, until Ayan also leaned on the table and brandish the familiar barb of being incredibly comfortable with utilizing/weaponizing his sexuality for his social benefit, making Akk lean away until he could find his footing again. and there’s the detail that when they were on common ground, like when Ayan said “thank you” to Akk, they were both leaning back, creating a neutral space (perhaps I’m over explaining this but I noticed it on my first watch and thought it was cool) - every shot of Suppalo continues to have the building dominating the screen (maybe it’s just me, but the shots of the building this episode did seem like the angle was adjusted somewhat, perhaps implying something) - no martial arts flip but Akk was the one who threw the first punch in their fight and I’m still just waiting for the narrative-relevant scene of Ayan flipping Akk - not much in the way of sun and moon imagery but don’t think i missed the way Ayan’s face was reflecting the moonlight in that last shot <3

Favorite Shot From The Episode

emotionally charged interactions in tight spaces with your enemy who is slowly becoming something more are actually something that can be so personal

honorable mention (of course)