#i fuckign love this show do you realise

[nanomooselet]

Episode Three: Bright Light, Shine through the Darkness

Okay, let's try this whole meta thing.

Bright Light, Shine through the Darkness was the episode where I realised I was in some deep trouble. I was aware of Trigun, but never really got around to looking into it until this ep was airing, and the two episodes before were, how can I say, everything I'd been lead to expect? Meryl is so angry and kind and Rosa so cool, and of course to look upon Vash is to adore him, precious darling boy. But I was still waiting for the hook, the reason to continue. Episode three, then: the one where the series finally begins. It's done saluting the work of the past and pivots to the story it's here to tell.

And I had no inkling it would be a story of such deliberate, implacable terror. It opens by telling you a storm is coming, but given that in minutes people are dying by land mines and remote drones, you'd think the storm was already here. Blood splashes! Meryl nearly gets her dumb ass flattened! E.G.'s motives aren't the kind receptive to Vash's forgiveness and whoo boy, for a moment you almost believe Vash will withdraw it. But Meryl turns it around (waaah she's so brave, she and Vash and Roberto made such a good team) and it seems the next challenge will be talking the elder Nebraska out of revenge, because anyone will pick up a gun when their loved ones are killed.

Then the piano rings out, right as Nebraska demands to know whose side Vash is on. It's a haunting, wistful tune and the score fell silent for quite a while first, which makes the notes even more out-of-place. The colour has been drained, everything is shrouded with smoke, and the cinematography has shrunk to mid shots and close-ups. Vash stands there in paralysed in fear for over ten seconds. You forget, in what follows, that we were given fair warning.

Nai was present in the opening scene, and Knives stated his intentions clearly enough at the end of the first episode. We saw this fuse being lit and the detonation still comes as a surprise. Not to mention Knives's influence is felt absolutely everywhere once you know to look for it – the bounty and the threats it inevitably attracts, the military police (and boy do I have thoughts on them, but it's only the final episode that'll come back), even the environment, the insects and birds. Tonis's little cage of buddies that Vash promised he would keep safe! Nothing hasn't felt Knives's fingertips - playing, pushing, manipulating.

Vash has to accept at the end of the episode that there was no longer any way he could avoid facing his brother, not if he wanted the people around him to be safe. While I don't think Knives was out to get Vash on this particular trip, I think he's just fine with Vash believing that's why he was there. Let him think it really is his presence, his “bad luck” that led to this destruction.

It's at least consolation to know Gofsef and his father are still alive at the end, though they're not in the best shape. I missed it the first time. But my God, poor Rosa. Poor Tonis. We never get that manga bit where Vash explains that if he took a life, Rem would never forgive him, but we don't really need to after that.

And when it took time out of Vash's self recriminating angst to show us Meryl also feels responsible, I sat up. She'd been so directly driving the plot so far, but I hardly dared hope for more. It was oddly reassuring.

All in all, fantastic episode, and I haven't even talked about the strongest portions. I hope everyone who worked on it is proud of themselves. I couldn't have asked for better. I'll close on what might have been my favourite moment (and by that I mean for me the most emotionally devastating): Vash crying as he flees the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, pulling blood-spattered Rosa after him.

[typellblog]

so we all know 'seeing with love' in the umineko sense but let me introduce you to 'seeing with hate' i.e. my approach to fate/zero

i don't think its good but i think if you see with hate it's secretly the funniest fate entry of all time. the trick is not taking any of the characters struggles seriously

for example kiritsugu is just an incredible guy he's constantly moping about circumstances he directly put himself in. like he's so edgy and such a pathetic sopping mess at the same time that it goes past tragedy and crosses back around into comedy. i mean he cheats on his wife because otherwise he can't cope with the fact that he needs to kill her. he cheats on her with his personal adopted child soldier that hes also treating as expendable. oh no how are all my family members dead i only fired my special family killing rocket at them

kayneth is another character where the tragedy is so over the top it becomes absurd. like he's very much a tragic figure of the classic mold who starts in a high societal position and is undone by his hubris except. his hubris as presented in the show is. being kinda mean to waver? underestimating kiritsugu? and in exchange for this his life rapidly flips from blessed to possibly the worst two weeks any human being has ever experienced. the fiance fucking the hired help to getting crippled pipeline

speaking of lancer its like. genuinely moving to me that he can't find a single fucking person to fight for real in the entire grail war but his whole dying speech with his own spear stuck through him is crazy because he fucking. curses the grail in the name of diarmuid o'dyna and its just. buddy thats not why its cursed. its already cursed its okay. THIS IS A PREQUEL WE ALREADY KNOW ITS CURSED YOU JUST "GOT LUCKY"

you also have to love kariya he's a very sympathetic character apart from the one catch that he seems to have deluded himself into thinking he can steal tokiomi's wife by killing him. its so funny once you realise it. what are you talking about dude you're not gonna get to go hang out with sakura and rin and aoi after all this is over YOU'LL BE THE GUY THAT KILLED THEIR DAD. killing tokiomi is half the reason he joins the war and as soon as kirei puts tokiomi's body in front of him and aoi hes like oh fuck and the whole thing collapses around him

on the subject of tokiomi. what an idiot. what an absolute buffoon. like truly how dumb do you have to be to stack the entire deck in your favour and then invite kotomine fucking kirei to be your appprentice. the scene where kariya confronts tokiomi is so fuckign good because you can see him losing it as he realises the guy with everything he ever wanted is an absolute basket case

okay who next i guess berserker. look. i just love how. genuinely surprised saber is. when she finds out. Sir lancelot how could you hate me so much i never knew!

HE WAS FUCKING YOUR WIFE!!!!!!

[maxverstappensflatbrim]

Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [15]

chapter fifteen, act two: anobrain

masterlist

November 3rd 2013

Tommie truly feels like Stevie Nicks in this moment as she sings lyrics of songs she and Matty had written together, glancing at him from time to time.

Of course, she was not much of a Queen like Stevie herself and didn’t have the energy she had during the whole Silver Springs fiasco.

She had however, given several dirty looks to Matty everytime he tried to approach her on stage, and had gone back to hiding behind Ross in the shadows.

Usually, to try and cheer her up and lessen the anxiety she felt Matty would come over during songs and distract her as she played. Maybe he’d share a dance with her during a break in the song, play with her hair, lean his head on hers as they sang a part together.

But today, everytime he approached her, to the delight of the crowd who cheered a little louder as they had grown to love those little special moments of the shows. She shook her head.

At the end of the show Matty had tried going after her as she moved quickly off the stage, but George had suggested he stay back and distract Adam so he wouldn’t worry.

George had panicked when she wasn’t hiding away in her usual spots, but he had quickly found her when he realised her jacket (and his own packet of cigarettes from his jacket)had disappeared.

“For Christmas I’m gonna bulk buy you a bunch of cigarette packs so you stop stealing everyones.” He tells her as he approaches.

She’s stuck in her head, rethinking the past couple of days over and over. The night with Matty, the conversation this morning, everything. 

“Tom?”

“Hmm?”

He holds a hand out and clicks his fingers a little, she shakes her head then starts patting herself down until she finds his pack handing them over to him.

“I-”

“Forgot yours, yeah, you always do.”

“Sorry.”

He shrugs, lighting the cigarette hanging from his mouth and leaning on the railing beside her. He eyes her sceptically for her apology, usually he receives a snark response, ‘sharing is caring’, ‘what's yours is mine’, yet today the one word is muttered, and is muttered so quietly his concern returns. “You alright?”

“Hmm?” She looks up, hands hanging down over the railing with the cigarette between her fingers, “Yeah.”

“What’s going on?”

She glances at him, preparing her little lie but one glance and she knows she can’t go through with it.

“Don’t say nothing,” He tells her, “Something’s wrong. Talk to me.”

Tommie doesn’t say anything to him, she just stares at the floor for a few moments. Instead of focusing on one anxiety, she brings up another, which probably isn’t a good idea with the current head space she’s in.

“I’m just… tired,” She tells him quietly, “And… scared.”

“Scared?”

She nods a little, “Been thinking a lot lately.”

He fakes a dramatic wince and raises his brows, “That must hurt.”

George smiles when he sees her lips twitch a little bit. “Funny.”

“Think I’m in the wrong career,” He tells her, “Should’ve done stand up, could’ve joined Tim on Benidorm or sumat.”

“Yeah, would’ve watched you on all the shitty UK panel shows that are weirdly always hosted by, like, Jimmy Carr or James Corden.”

He hums in agreement then gets back on track, “So, what’re you scared about?”

She shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“Come on, Tom, you know I have weird fears- I mean, nothing as weird as birds, that’s a stupid fea-”

“They’re scary things okay!” She jumps to defend herself, “They could fuckign peck your eyes out G, how you gonna play the drums blind, huh?”

“Well, I’m sure it's been done, by like.. Fuckign Hellen Keller or someone like that.”

“And why do they fly?” She continues on, “It’s fucking strange, they’re fucking strange. It’s a valid fear.”

He raises his hands and steps back with playful eyebrows raised, “Well, I can guarantee whatever you're scared of isn’t as stupid as birds.” She shoots him another glare.

“I’m scared something bad will happen soon, with us, the band… like,” She sighs running her hands through her hair, when the cigarette catches George is quick to take if from her hand so she doesn’t singe her hair, “I don’t know, G, and that’s what’s fucking my head up.”

They stay in silence for a while, George doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything. A trait that she wishes Matty has for those situations where he should just keep his mouth shut.

The silence stretches until Ross lets them both know that their uber has arrived to take them out for drinks.

She sighs, “I’m gonna head back,” She tells George but he loops his arm through hers shaking his head, “G, I won’t be able to get in anywhere.”

“Come on, we’re famous.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

“Come on, we’re famous.” Tommie repeats bitterly as they walk away from the fifth place that has turned them away in the last hour.

She sighs looking back at the group, most moody and annoyed at the walking then to George who’s skipping ahead, “Another one up here, Irish bar, bound to let us in, come on.”

She sighs tugging his hand so he’ll stop, “I’m just,” She glances back again, eyes drifting over Matty who stands with his hands in his pockets, looking anywhere but at her, “Gonna head back, I don’t fancy drinks anyway.”

“Okay, we’ll walk you back-”

“G, it’s fine.”

“You’re not walking through Vegas at eleven on your own.” Adam says sternly.

“Tommie?”

She turns quickly, lips curving a little, “Hey, Caleb, what are you doing out here? Got a gig?”

He goes to hug her, arms lifting, but she stands completely oblivious and unmoving causing him to awkwardly act as if he was trying to lean on the fire hydrant beside her, “Um no, no, me and the band, we moved out to California, it’s Micthell, the guitarist, remember him?” He questions, she nods (she doesn’t remember him), “His brother’s bachelor party tomorrow night.”

“Oh cool, that’s uh, your version of a stag do, right?”

“Assuming that’s the party of the groom?”

She nods and he grins nodding back, he glances round the band passing smiles around, “Hey, ya’ll.”

The five of them cringe at the same time, Matty muttering something under his breath receiving a nudge and a quiet hidden snort from Ross.

“So, you guys had a gig?”

“Hard Rock Casino.” Matty butts in before she can open her mouth.

His smile widens, “Really? Supposed to be great in there, that’s where we're going tomorrow night.”

“Yeah?”

He nods, “Where are you headed?”

“Uh, these guys are gonna go bar hopping and I was just on my way back to the hotel now.”

“Cool, cool, shall I walk you? Wouldn’t want you wandering around alone at night.”

She glances back at the four, they’re all watching lined up in a row, all shaking their heads but she smiles at him, “That’d be great, thank you.”

“Tom-” Adam tries to protest but she smiles at him.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning, alright? Don’t get too drunk, show tomorrow.”

She gives them no time to argue and turns around with Caleb in tow.

As they walk, and he talks about his band and how they’re doing, she sneaks glances at him and takes him in.

He’s the complete opposite of every guy she has ever had a crush on.

Which has only been three people (excluding Alex Turner and Jenson Button).

The first guy was in primary school, he had this horrible bowl cut with dark brown eyes and equally dark brown hair.

The second was in comp when she was in year 10, he was taller than her, much taller than her by almost an entire foot. He played rugby, took ICT and PE as his GCSE’s and had, you guessed it, brown eyes and hair. Only he had this horrible mullet haircut that she weirdly found attractive. The moment he cut it off for a buzz cut half way through the school year the crush was gone.

The third guy was when she was younger, and well, it was Matty. The more she thinks of that one the more she realises it never really went away.

Caleb is completely different.

He has blonde hair that's slicked back, not like a sexy Alex Turner kind of slicked back, more like old mafia American movies kind of slicked back. But it looks good on him, his face is a wider, square shape and he has some darker stubble with larger eyebrows and brown eyes.

He’s not short, but he’s not exactly tall either, probably a few inches shorter than Matty.

He’s dressed differently to his vest and jean shorts she first saw him in, he has a tank top with a striped shirt over it and a pair of blue jeans.

“You had food? Was gonna pick some up for my friends and I, if you’re hungry we can make a stop. On me.”

“I am not one to turn down free food.”

“Tastes better free, right?”

She nods and thanks him as he holds the door open of some shitty 24 hour diner.

They sit at the back by a window and order, he has a burger and a strawberry milkshake, asking for two straws, she asks for just a plate of chips, to which the woman looks at her weirdly and she then clarifies by saying ‘fries’, with a dr pepper.

When food comes and they’re tucking in, she starts asking about the band, and how they’ve been doing since he saw her a few months back.

She tells him about the tour, and the festivals, going into too much detail of the Arctic Monkeys gig, he doesn't seem to mind, he happily sips from one straw of the milkshake and nods in encouragement. 

“Where are you guys going tomorrow?”

“Tucson, then flying to Spain on the fifth.”

“The fifth?”

She nods and he mutters a quiet, “Damn.”

“What?”

“Was going to ask if you wanted to maybe get dinner, like, actual dinner, with me. You know, on a date.”

She looks down, “Is this not good enough to be a date?”

He shrugs, “I like to treat girls a little better than a dingy, greasy diner.”

Just as he says it the waitress walks by and pauses to cast a glare over her shoulder making Tommie lean back and quietly laugh into her hand.

He purses his lips and sends one of his charming smiles over to her, “Don’t order anything else, they’re gonna spit in it.”

“I’ll be sure not to.” She says, lifting the bottled dr pepper to her lips.

“So,” She then goes on to say, “If this were to be a date, and I, theoretically-”

“Of course, theoretically.”

“Agreed, what would we do?”

He thinks for a moment, “You strike me as the adventurous type.”

She’s not. She likes comfort and staying in her little self created box.

“First, I’d take you to see a gig of some shitty underground band-”

“Dirty Delights?” She questions and he fights back the smile at the sight of her own teasing smile, “Heard they’re pretty shit,” She shrugs, “Couldn’t even get drunk frat boys to join in.”

“I know, and I heard the drummer is a grade A asshole, he is also very attracted to this guitarist from that band. 1975, heard of them?”

“Oh yeah.” She nods, “They’re the talk of the music industry, next Fleetwood Mac.”

His teasing smile turns serious, “I think you could be.”

“What?” She pops another chip in her mouth and chews as he tilts his head.

“Be the next Fleetwood Mac.”

She snorts and drops the half bitten chip to lean back against the booth, he smiles bigger, “I mean it, you could be. You and Matt up there. Chaining each other up.”

“Oh my God, that is like the worst saying I’ve ever heard.” She giggles.

He smiles at the sound she makes, “What? It's been said.”

“By who, a serial killer?”

He raises a brow at her but doesn't comment, “Okay, back to it. We’d go to a gig, listen to some music, dress way too over the top for the back alley bar we’d be at.”

“Back alley?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from the creeps.”

“Hope so. But I warn you, I’ve got a very harsh right hook.”

He nods quickly, “Noted. I’ll make sure I’m never on the receiving end.”

“Then,” He carries on, “We’ll make use of our fancy outfits. Go to a nice restaurant, have a seat out on the balcony, you’ll make a comment about the stars- you seem the type- and I’ll ask about you. I’ll pretend to listen but I’ll actually be staring at you cause you,” He pauses and watches her cheeks tinge red, “You’re just so pretty in the moonlight.”

“What then?” She presses on.

“I’ll walk you back to your hotel, you’ll invite me up but I’ll tell you about my no kissing on the first date rule, you’ll ask me how many dates is okay for a kiss, I tell you at least five and you roll your eyes. It's not what I believe, I just say it so I’ll get to see you more.”

“And… happily ever after?” She questions.

He nods, “Happily ever after.”

“Hmm, maybe I’ll take you up on it.”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe.” She agrees as she stands and grabs her jacket, “Now, walk me back so I can invite you up.”

She sighs as he follows her out, a fake sigh as a smile stretches on his lips when he turns to nod at the hotel behind her, brows raising suggestively. “Afraid to say it, ma’am, don’t kiss women on the first date.”

She hums, “Guess you’ll have to take me on another.”

“Florida.” He says suddenly, his hands now in his pockets as they walk side by side.

“Hm?”

“The Big Ticket festival,” He clarifies, “We’re playing, You going to be there?”

She nods, “December?” He tells her ‘yes’, “Yeah, we’re going, I convinced the guys we need to go to Disney World.”

He nods, “Then,” He pauses opening up the hotel door for her, “That’s our first date.”

She turns to the lift but can just see it's open with a few people inside and jogs a little to get there faster, “Hold the door.”

Ross perks up, smiling lazily with his head poking out, “Tommie!”

She smiles at the four guys packed inside the lift, “Thanks guys, uh,” She turns back around to Caleb who’s passed a wave to them over her shoulder.

Matty raises a brow at him when Tommie’s not looking and turns his nose up in disgust.

“So.. Florida?”

She nods, “See you then.”

“Thirty five days,” He tells her, “I’ll count them down.”

“Surprised he can count after that awful count-in that he did back in Texas.”

George nudges Matty to shut up and Caleb looks up at him again, Tommie smiles, the muttering having gone unheard and as she goes to turn around ready to step inside but Caleb gently touches her hand for her attention.

“Think I might want to break my rule.”

“I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

He smiles and closes his eyes, leaning to place a simple peck on her lips, “Florida.” He says against them before walking backwards.

She stands there awkwardly only moving once he’s completely disappeared to step inside the lift.

The doors close slowly, no one says a thing.

“Ooh, Florida…” George says in an American accent as he grips Ross' face, “I’ll see you in Florida, my little alligator Queen.”

“Break your rule, Georgia boy, kiss me.” Ross says in a high pitched voice as they both start making kissing sounds at each other's hands holding each other's faces.

Adam giggles loudly, unable to stop and Matty stands there silently.

“Designated sober friend?”

He doesn’t say anything, just nods, “I’ll take Adam and George.”

“Adam’s bunking with me.” He says simply and she nods.

“Okay, uh, Ross is with John, right?” He nods again, “John’s beside me so, I’ll take them both.”

“I can handle my friends, Tommie.”

She nods, “Yeah, you’ve made that very clear.”

“Doesn’t seem to have bothered you much.” He comments, gaze still forward as she tries to untangle Ross’ hand from pulling on George’s hair.

The door opens and she ushers Ross and George, who are still hanging over each other, out into the hallway, like some kind of tired single mother.

She watches Matty and Adam head down the opposite way, Adam’s arms wrapped around Matty’s waist, his head on his shoulder.

Matty looks up as he opens the door, peeling a clingy Adam from him, his eyes catch hers and she pauses in the doorway.

“Goodnight, Matty.”

taglist

@thereisaplaceintheheart

@indierockgirrl

@sofaritsalrightt

@julezs-bl0g

@eaglestar31

@sophinthealpss

@if-my-heart-bleeds

@befrwime

-let me know if you want to be added :)

[hianiconrad]

new genshin event spoilers

(and ani’s ramble eggs)

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🌻🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

this is the exact reason why mondstadt is home and always feel like home to me no matter what happened in the game, i love my mondo babies so much. (my tinniest hope even thought we can get thoma in this event you know he would go back to see his mom due to the theme ‘family’, or maybe because i just really miss thoma (but i just feel like he is being forgotten by mihoyo at this point in the lore)

every event with mond characters are just so heartwarming, its just ugh so so warm and fuzzy inside just like my baby razor said, i love this city so much i cannot even write anything, venti as always being a damn precious green bard, you venti, i love you so much. i really hope i can get him but im lazy in the farming i have no primos- but him HIM

and yes i cried during the cutscene goddammit

yes my son its warm because you are a freaking ball of sunshine radiating happiness im going to sign a real adoption paper at this point istg

sjsksl the suspicious wine 💀

and do i need to say anything more these two with their angsty siblings energy, this is so fuckign wholesome i mean this literally is the closest point we get to them being renuion (AND i realised diluc will be so passive aggressive whenever he wants to show his care for kaeya lmaoajajsk, look at the deadpan face and mocking (normally kaeya steals this role) but actually he was provoking his brother to stay for dinner my my master diluc the table has turned this time im so proud of you sir 🥰

[belannaswlonkderfulworm]

Director's commentary on Underneath The Tree? I saw you reblogged the post so here we go:) UTT is my favourite work of yours :3

thank you so much, anon!! i'm so glad you enjoyed UtT, i had an amazing time writing it so im delighted you enjoyed it <3

Underneath the Tree very much started as the baby of myself and @exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian . we started it in november last year, just based on the fact that they were mad that every single thing i wrote (and tbh, most of the time still is) was angst, so we thought, hey, it's nearly christmas, we'll figure out something related to that.

as i have a long-standing rep for torturing b'elanna in my fic, she of course had to get some joy, and it escalated from there. i wouldn't describe either of us as die-hard b7 shippers, but we both definitely ship b'elanna with seven more than anybody else, and we both love kes, too, and think so much more could have been done with her, especially with a potential friendship with seven, so she got a big role as well. kes comes with the doctor, so he got something to do, too, and as we were introduced to vines by a voyager vines video (yes, we do unfortunately spend our free time watching things like that. it's a great use of our time!) so it seemed natural for their arc to involve a vine. neelix sort of just... showed up. i don't remember adding him to the story. he was just there. janeway was similar, except more wanted, and i firmly believe that all the best b7 has kathryn manically encouraging them all the way. tom and harry are another ship that we both ship together more than we ship either of them with anybody else, so they got to make a few appearances, and the voyager betting pool spiralled from that. you need a few more stakes than the general emotional torture of b7 being hopelessly in love with each other, so the betting pool, vine, and christmas party worked out nicely, as well as bringing me extreme amounts of joy.

our original plan was to both write a version, and then pick the best chunks from both and combine them, so we spent a lot of time in mid december wandering around our local town centre looking at clothes and christmas decorations brainstorming. hence, tuvok.

all the shops near us tend to go slightly insane in terms of the types of clothes they stock near christmas (pretty much every item of clothing described in the story is something we've actual found within twenty minutes of our houses, aside from tuvok's heels) so as we were brainstorming the logical idea seemed to be to point at clothes and go, "x character wears that (hopefully to the voyager christmas party)". it's funny to do regardless of what character you pick, but tuvok makes it infinitely funnier. like, seriously, i recommend it: wander around your local shops going "tuvok would wear that." it fuckign SLAPS.

anyway.

that lead us to picking out every part of the voyager christmas party scene. who doesn't love a good christmas party with your alien coworker who you're homoerotically in love with? once we'd figured out the stakes, we just had to weave the story together and, y'know, actually write it. this is the point where it became much more of a me effort than an us effort, bc deadlines are HARD, y'all.

i think i wrote the first chunk up until kes realises seven's in love with b'elanna by the third of december or so, and then i wrote the entire rest on the twenty-first, when my adhd brain went oh SHIT i have to write this we no longer have infinite time. my favourite scene to write was definitely the mess hall scene where janeway drinks a bathtub of coffee, b'elanna punches kes, and kes drinks an inordinate amount of hot chocolate. it was such a fun little moment of realisation, tbh, and it gave my beloved kathryn her second in the spotlight, too.

after that, all that was left was for @exit-pursued-by-a-lesbian to beta it, and then i posted it! (yes, all the christmas songs are real. yes, they're all on a star trek-named christmas-themed playlist on my spotify. no, i will not provide a link bc none of you need to be able to find the other playlists on my spotify, which include a thirty-six hour worm-themed playlist featuring the whole hamilton soundtrack)

once again, thank you so much, anon! i'm glad you enjoyed the story, and i'm sorry that this post is almost as long as the story

[borathae]

Chapter 5 thoughts:

1. Oh I would like YNs morning routine of being eaten out, doggy, brunch and shopping too.

2. I missed Tae's chivalrous darling hand kissing sweetest doting affection too.

3. Him kissing jungkook flustering him. Flirting with him. Turning that cute romantic bunny into a mess aghhh

4. Istg I laughed so much at the height joke myself that portion is so cute and feel good.

5. Hoseok is such a Bro I love him??????!!!!!

6. Lmfao that whole she's a cunt versus I'm excited to meet her and then getting pissy af like that mood swing.. Sir.. Tone it down 🤡

7. But seeing all these old vampires and their lack of inhibition to just get down and slurpy with just about about anybody needs to be studied.. You could be married or mated to someone but *BOOM* a flame from 16th century shows up and your panties drop and tongues mingle first 🤡

8. I'm lowkey glad the whole polyamory confusión is starting to get addressed like yeah, tae is now banging kook, kook was being banged by yoongi and occasionally the OC. OC is being banged in the regular by yoongi. OC was and is being banged by tae. So there's a lot of square banging happening and I'm glad they're talking about it without feeling like this is wrong. I love the - but I crave him too vibe going on bcz girl same. I feel you.

9. The whole depressive drinking ep- 🥺 baby koo baby nini. I really feel the whole Emma thing May end up like Katherine from tvd where she dgaf. And about koo I get the feeling tae is gonna get iced😅🤣 that would be hilarious 😭

10. Yoongi is such an adorable strong character in this series I love how he's written. The firefly dancing sequence was so romantic so now I want YNs evening routine too😭🤣🤣🤣

I read this chapter at 2 am last night and finished at 2 30. I wanted to write a whole ass ask but I realised it would take until 3 am at the very least🤣 so here I am at 12 noon💞 have a nice day sibuuuuuuu

I am EATING UP your thoughts yes send me all of them I fucking love them 🥺💜💜

no but I feel you so fucking much 😩 especially when it's Kim fucking Taehyung 😩

me too!!! I miss him so much!!!

I honestly fucking want them!! Please they are so fuckign cute!!

jfadjf I am happy you appreciated it. I both cringed and laughed whilst working on that part HAHAH

he IS such a bro and I want him to always be happy :(

jfdasjf honestly they were both fucking idiots in that scene like please my bois it's not that deep

WHY AM I SO INTO THIS CONCEPT THOUGH?? LIKE I'M FUCKING DEMISEXUAL I SHOULDN'T BE SO INTO THIS BUT I AM FANDSNF

I'm happy that you feel that way! I want to include conversations about that topic without making it all about the "i jealous bby" trope cause this trope suck ass lmao. I do want to show the struggles a poly cluster might go through though, so I'm happy you liked the conversation she had with Hobi

Nini has to be the cutest fucking nickname for jinnie ever :( our little nini :( also interesting theory about Emma mmmhmh and kookie our baby :( honestly I think I wouldn't even be mad at him if he kicked Tae in the nuts jfajds

THANK YOU!! OMFG YOONGI BOONGIE IS MY BBYBOY AND THAT FIREFLIE DANCE SCENE IS BURNED INTO MY MIND ETERNALLY!!

I love your long messages so much!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, it makes writing and posting so fucking worthwhile 🥺💜💜💜

[elle-smells]

hi hello i would like to know about kyle bishop please

so glad you unexpectedly asked this wonderful question sdfjdssdfs

Background info: He is a character from the tv show SMASH. It was basically about the journey of creating a musical from scratch and then getting it to broadway. The first season solely focuses on one musical, SMASH. Kyle and his best friend Jimmy were introduced in season 2, as the first time writers of a new underground small musical called HITLIST, which is kinda a second main plot to the other musical smash in the new season.

Broadway and writing a musical have been Kyle's dream since he was little and in the season we get to see that dream slowly becoming a reality :') The personal challenges he faces are mostly due to him being the only support system to (his best friend and writing partner) Jimmy, who deals with drinking/drugs.

Now here are 2 photos😌

why I love him: first of all, look at him, he is a literal puppy I want to protect at all costs- Second, bby is just out there writing his lil musical and working hard doing nothing wrong ever <3 Kyle is also such a good friend. The people he loves are the number 1 priority, especially Jimmy. He has stuck by and will do anything for him. he loves him so much, they're brothers. But even though that's the case, at one point he realises that Jimmy isnt meeting him half way and was becoming a toxic presence in his life so, for once in his life, Kyle does something for himself and his wellbeing nd decides he needs space from Jimmy. It was such a good character moment <3

lil rant moment: bestie I got so attached. literally I kept posting on here about how much I loved him and that he was my comfort character and then you'll never guess what happened... THEY KILLED HIM OFF. I- Clara I need a fuckign second- I signed up for showtunes not death- nope he is not unalive he is FINE-

anygays that's Kyle Bishop (my beloved) for you <3

[gaysonlyocean]

I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR MORE PWEASE

NFNAJFJS BACKSTORY OR MAIN PLOT IM JUST [FLAPPY]!!!!!

ID DIE FOR YOU

ok so more backstory time [smirk] but also this is gonna be very bits and pieces cause i gave the main overview

out of experiment gang vals the oldest but she also stands out compared to the rest of them cause while they all have red eyes theyve got yellow and the reason for this is when everyone went pog at val but fetus for showing enhanced strength they were still doing trial runs and luther decided that for the actual like “we know what were doing one” experiment he wanted red eyes instead of yellow hgfghjh

speaking of val she fucking Hates eden so much cause of how horrible she is while trying to track them down but she doesnt know the reason why eden is specifically going after them and not kris and rochelle and its cause while kris and rochelle (and by extension the twins) are supposed to be more “refined” vals fucking op kjhgfjhgfg like she has no idea of this and thinks her only ability is being extra strong but they keep randomly getting other abilities and then said extra abilities head out after a time, theyve noticed some Strange things being caused by this but she doesnt know that whats happening is temporary abilities

this is getting kjhgfdfgh Long but i wanan keep going so more stuff under the cut

kris [handshake] rochelle accidentally causing the other real harm

we love guilt city kjhgfdsdfghjk so first thing is when they both broke out (kris was 15 and rochelle was 13) and escaped without thinking kris spent a lot of that time just dragging rochelle by the wrist cause we love adrenaline and also rochelle was too busy trying to throw hands with everyone to pay attention so it wasnt until Later when they stopped Running to catch their breath that they realised that kris has accidentally burnt the Shit out of aer left wrist so now rochelle cant really use that hand but aer coping, unlike kris who really badly blames himself for it and thats part of why he doesnt really like touching people, hes scared of hurting them by accident

the uno reverse happened 4 years later cause rochelle be like [gets aerself in dangerous situations that could be avoided cause ae dont know how to cope when not having to fight for aer life] but f to the bastard cause the himbo also ended up in danger cause of that so they were just arguing about that, yknow as you do, but sure is a shame when both of you cant control your abilities huh? so the argument ended very quickly cause rochelle accidentally got kris struck by lightning and he kinda jhgfdfghj Died for a bit but he got better cause sometimes be raised and trained to be a weapon is helpful kjhgfdfghj kris doesnt hold anything against rochelle for it but we love having medical issues as a result of that so rochelle still feels guilty

tfw you finally get your ideal result for your shitty lil unethical project but the result is two twins with superpowers and none of the staff want to go be near them cause they can actually fuckign kill you so you gotta find a Alternative kjhgfdfghj so cause of the fact that chandra and columba can fucking murder you as infant dr gorman got luther to send over a robot to send in to help cause remember how this version of the 70s has robots? yeah but like kjhgfdfghjk no one knew if this would work so rather than building a robot that could just get immediately destroyed he just sent a repurposed faulty one that was gonna be destroyed and this is beloved silence and theyre a robot with anxiety (which is why they were gonna be destroyed [pensive]) and kinda raised the twins and id elaborate but then we go into the main plot kjhgfdfghjk

hey remember how val is the first “successful” experiment? kris is the first attempt at a refined version but wait! theres more! cause dr gorman has just as big of a ego as eden and luther he decided that he was going to get it right on the first try and went and fucking experimented on his own kid so when kris couldnt control his abilities at all he ended up having a worse time than anyone else cause dr gorman got pissy that his kid wasnt up to his standard and now kris is extremely claustrophobic and scared of the dark and will just have a breakdown if hes fully submerged under water <3

speaking of Traumatic Experience Prior To Escaping asmr despite what ae will tell you rochelle got Fucked Up; so like rochelle says ae got off easy cause ae just always did exactly what ae were told to do and cause ae can use some of aer abilities properly ae wasnt getting “punished” for failing trials that much However this led to ae internalising a lot of the dehumanising shit ae got as “positive” reinformence for that and when ae did get “punished” it was Bad - so context was ae were Supposed to do like a high stakes obstacle course like thing but at the start aer legs were wrapped with barbed wire and cause ae can read the future and see possible outcome and None of those outcome would leave ae without bad injuries on aer legs rochelle ended up being too scared to move and just Sat there instead but no one was happy with this and decided to kill two birds with one stone cause yknow how they were experimenting on a Lot of kids right? and the majority of these kids didnt really get anything to write home about if they even developed powers at All so what you gonna do with a bunch of kids who technically dont exist? you force another kid to murder them apparently cause thats what they did so they didnt have to keep looking after the “failed” results as well as giving rochelle aer punishment for being too scared to move and the result of this is now if rochelle hears a kid make any loud noise even if its completely fine and harmless aer just go straight into a panic attack

last thing im gonna say cause this is big long and probably unreadable but friendly reminder not to stan eden cause despite the fact that shes under orders to bring val back Alive she still thought it would be a good idea to set her on fire when she was 9 

[gayspock]

obligatory tng update:

1. unfortunately still going slow. im not sure if its wholly bc of my irl shite getting in the way (very likely) but despite the episodes being GOOD now, like fully good, i still dont feel the same draw as i did with tos which is :(. but the eps ARE getting GOOD!!! like babey thnk u mwah. there’s been some bangers in a row ya kno

2. ok minor minor minor. idk im so... neutral abt troi/riker as an item right now!! i htink i could warm up but its also like. thus far theyve just... like i feel like theyve not given any actual moments between them. do yoou know what i mean, girlie. like i swear i rarely ever see them interact and i genuinely thought it was gonna be, like, a thing they brought up in the pilot then literally just FORGET abt bc like... theyve just literally been all tell and no show. like theyre like “oh they were a thing and theres still sth there” but then havent rlly... like they havent actually done tht much together? do u kno wht it means? like its just like the show has told us they have chemistry without really letting them demonstrate... anyways.  and idk i dont have a PROBLEM with that, actually. like im fine with that, bc its been super unobtrusive ya kno- and what i actually wanted to say is that!!! im rlly GOOD with it in a way.

like im neutral on them as a Couple and whatnot (also in part bc i do LIKE riker&troi, i do, but im not obsessed with them yet)  but omg idk... its like i said its been pretty unobtrusive does tht make sense. usually tht shit is crammed down ur throat in some manner, like- even if its just in terms of jealousy or whatveer but... on MULTIPLE occasions, it feels like, both troi and riker have like shown interest in the New Character of the Week. and i realised it with uhhhh the ep (runs to check) THE VENGEANCE FACTOR. bc its like him and troi were sat there eating together and the girlie of the week came over and she, like, got up and was like :3 i’ll leave you to it- AND I DONT KNOW? I KNOW THIS IS LIKE. BARE MINIMUM BUT ITS JSUT... REALLY NICE TO SEE CHARACTERS WHO ARE, LIKE, OPENLY KINDA INTERESTED IN EACH OTHER BUT ARENT, LIKE, A THING-THING  AND YET THEY WONT BE LIKE. RANCID IF THE OTHER PERSON IS SHOWING INTEREST IN OTHER PPL. DOES THT MAKE SENSE. like theyre chill and calm and like i said. i do think i could warm up to them if i got to see more of them.... I FEEL SO WEIRD im stillnot sure how i feel abt EITHER of them and im unsure why . i really am. like i feel like ah i like you guyss! but thts abt it. i think i still need to see more. anyways

3. also bc it comes up sometimes similar talk i think i wanna talk about Wesley . get him off my chest. i dont hate wesley. im the epitome of neutral on wesley as well. but like if you took s1 wesley and put him into s3 i’d be in a fucking rage. like i think the thing is, s1 wesley fucking sucks but also its like... in general  all the writing in s1 was fuckign bad and frankly he just ended up turning out very annoying becuase of it but ultimately . do u kno wht i mean. like its just s1 antics. wesley, now, in s3 is still not like a big fave but bc the writing is better i’m like okay! youre here! BUT if they wrote an ep with him in the same way they used him in s1 THEN i’d be mad. anyways.

4. I HAD MORE THOUGHTS BUT THIS ISNT EVEN TNG I WENT TO LOOK UP STAR TREK EPISODES AND FOR SOME REASON I WA SLOOKING AT RELEASE DATES AND I WAS LIKE OH OH OH AND THEN I ENDED UP LOOKING AT TOS AND REQUIEUM FO METHUSUSAL I CANT SPELL IM SO SORRY BUT THAT EP WAS RELEASED ON VALENTINES DAY AND IM THINKING ABOUT SPOCK AND THAT MEMORY WIPE HAPPY VALENTINS DAY GIRLS JESUS WHERE WAS I

5. god i love data and geordi so much though i feel bad but i jsut... OKAY MAYBE THATS IT. WITH TROI AND RIKER. I FEEL BAD LIKE I DONT HATE THEM IM JUST MORESO NEUTRAL BC I JSUT... I JUST WANT TO SEE DATA, GEORDI AND WORF SOOOO MUCH AHHHHHHH LIKE GIVE ME YM LEGENDS. NONSTOP.

[siriuslymoon]

Imagine

Richie getting a job and actually being able to buy himself shit

One of his first purchases being contact lenses

Because yes he loves his glasses in a ‘they’re sorta starched to my face so I have to’ kind of way

but perhaps he’s grown tired of the snarky comments

And comparison to bugs

And he’s always losing them

And breaking them

And getting them dirty

And falling asleep witht them on in a way which cut ibto his face- contact are a good idea okay

And he doesn’t think anyone will notice

He hardly notices

Just realises how much easier it is to get dressed and fall asleep sat at a desk

But oh do people notice

Some girls decide the loss of glasses is what it takes for Richie to be attractive to them- that and the fact that his shoulders have squared and his cheeks hollowed but that’s besides the point

Some people see him as less of a dork without them and actually attempt conversation

Then he throws in his accents and the past two statements dwindle away

But mostly the attention comes from his friends

Stan pretends not to notice, when Richie shows him, asking Richie if he’d cut is hair or something

“Stan!”

“Yeah soenthing different just can’t put my finger on it”

“I’ll put my finger on your mom-“

Beverly tells him it looks hot but that the glasses were adorable and she sort of misses them

Bill and Ben think they look nice but don’t go as far as bev in telling him he looks hot

Mike just wonders if it hurst to jumble About wih your eyes

“What about you Ed’s? No comment”

Eddie stares a little longer at Richie’s face, no longer obstructed by anything

His eyes are just- there

Eddie could reach out and cup his face without anything in the way- could leak their faces together without-

“Not gonna comment on whether or not I wash my hands before I put them in?”

“I would fuckign hope that you do”

Eddie stares a little more at Richie’s loose smile and then runs, Sure the bell for class had gone off as well but he hadn’t known that

Eddie panicking because yes Richie is hot without his glasses

But Richie was hot with them

And Eddie liked them

He liked the way they made his eyes a little bigger

He liked when Richie left them at his house after cuddling and had to come back for them

Always ending up just staying the night instead

Eddie liked slipping them from Richie’s face when he had fallen asleep

And Eddie liked how Richie would fidget with them whenever they spoke, like he made him nervous and it wasn’t all in eddies imagination

It almost felt like the softest moments of their friendship (relationship?) revolves around the glasses

And Richie got rid of them

It was stupid and selfish to think that but Eddie was sad and gay and anyone could fight him about it

Richie eventually asks Ed’s what’s up

His hand raising to the bridge of his nose in a phantom fidget and then awkwardly falling back to his sides when he realises his glasses aren’t there anymore

Eddie grins

“Cmon Ed’s do I look that bad? Cause I could put them on if you want? Although some do the girls have been saying I actually look rather-“

Eddie kisses him

Because he’s heard them

And he’s glared at them

And Richie is here and he still went to push his glasses up

“Wow Ed’s I would have taken them off months ago if this was the response I’d get-“

Eddie still makes Richie wear his glasses sometimes but is equally as stunned by him when he doesn’t

A few weeks later Eddie gets an eye test

And needs glasses

[period-dramallama]

A skim read of jean plaidy’s St Thomas Eve

For @thalassodromid bc this is our Niche

General thoughts on quality (TLDR)

-First off, I should give this book something of a pass because it was written 60+ years ago. Historical research, like science, Marches On.

-I skimmed it because i was not loving the style. There’s very little description, the pacing feels like This Happened And Then This Happened. With this story, you should have a sense of the stakes, the tension. It lacks atmosphere.

-This book really didn’t spark much emotion in me. I was heartwarmed and amused, but never frightened, horrified, fascinated or upset. I felt no panic when Meg got the sweat. 

-Honestly i was so bored I started wondering if maybe this is too difficult a story to tell, because i came in loving these historical figures and wanting content. How bored must the unobsessed reader be?

-Show don’t tell, Jean! Don’t tell me everyone’s very upset, show me them upset. Don’t tell me Meg loves Thomas, show their bond. Don’t tell me everyone loves Thomas for his honesty, show me him helping his neighbours.

-To be fair, there’s a lot to get through in 260 pages.

-I just love how historical fiction pulp novels have Book Club questions at the back. It just feels rather cocky, imo. Like you think your book is Deep enough for me to sit and ponder the characters. Like there was a question that was something like: “do you prefer Katherine of Aragon or Anne Boleyn” which was kind of hilarious because the whole book it was Poor Loyal Old Ugly Katherine and Six Fingered Anne Boleyn Is A Minx And Wants Thomas More Dead

Pet peeves

-at the beginning of the book, it says “Secretly Henry VII was unbothered by his wife’s death” or something along those lines. Given that Henry VII locked himself away after Elizabeth died and his mum had to step in and rule because he stopped functioning, this left a bitter taste in my mouth. Henry VII in this book is a Mean Evil Miser so of course he can’t love or be loved by a Good Woman.

-John More jnr being described as the family dunce. To be fair, maybe the book came out before we knew he was a translator too, but STILL. Don’t put John down to raise the girls up. He is valid too. 

-the language is what my old tutor would call ‘mock Tudor’. I think it was expected at the time that you had to try and make the language authentic- The Blanket of the Dark and the Man on a Donkey both use Tudor language. It really made the dialogue annoying. Lots of ‘tis and ‘twas and it was this close to beshrew me verily and hey fucking nonny nonny. Every time Alice said fuckign ‘Tilly valley’ I went AAAARGGGH. JUST HAVE HER SAY THE WORD ‘NONSENSE’. There’s a happy middle, imo, between too Tudor and too modern, and it’s quite a broad middle, you can move around a lot in it, but there are limits. 

-SPEAKING OF ALICE. Her character introduction was so good- first described as ‘an authoritative feminine voice’ *chef’s kiss* she stops a fainting Jane from being trampled at Henry’s coronation, accompanies her home and cares for her while simultaneously lowkey roasting her interior decoration. But then she becomes a bit of a caricature. When Meg gets the sweat she nags her for going near anyone who might have the sweat. The book club questions say ‘there’s more to her than meets the eye’ THEN SHOW ME MORE THAN ONE SIDE OF HER. Also Thomas loves her even though she’s ‘rude and stupid’ but Meg doesn’t understand why. Grr. 

-”mistress middleton will hear you [2 year old John] crying and box your ears” NO NO NO NO NO!

-also i get a 1950s Spanking Children Is Good Parenting vibe because Alice hits the Morelings with a slipper if they don’t study, and Tm’s described as too much of “a coward” (literally the word coward is used) to hit his children other than with peacock feathers.

-Utopia being described as an ideal state...it’s really more than that. I don’t like the idea that Meg and Thomas were okay with religious toleration but then Thomas became Consumed With Hate and he says “well religious toleration would be great in an IDEAL state...”

-Meg being horrified by heretic burning. Maybe the evidence of her views wasn’t yet available and so social mores of the 50s meant that writers and historians assumed that Of Course Being a Delicate Woman She Would Have A Natural Desire For Peace And Mercy. Grr.

-Too romancey. To be fair, Jean Plaidy wrote a lot of historical romances so maybe that’s just what she’s comfortable with (and these are historical figures that never get a chance to shine) but between Meg and Will, Clement and Mercy, Joan and Thomas, Giles and Cecily... it’s a bit like Pearl Harbour in that it’s hard to care about the cute romance when men are getting burned alive in the background. A good historical romance is more like Titanic: the lovers are directly connected with the Big Historical Events ongoing. Skip!

-in this book, Mercy thinks to herself that Meg would have Tm sign the oath, but Mercy would prefer tm to do as his conscience dictates...that feels like the wrong way round.

-Erasmus and Thomas More speaking in English...Doubt.jpeg. 

-Thomas More muses on how Complex men are because there’s Proud Cold Thomas Howard who is Soft for Simple Launderess Bess Holland...yeah given the multiple colossal power imbalances in that real-life affair, I’d be very surprised if it never strayed into abuse.

-baby Meg is a lil too precocious.

-dying Joan tells Meg to look after her father, no Joan stop I love you but don’t give a six year old responsibility, I don’t care if she’s six but acts eleven, looking after TM is Alice’s job not Meg’s. 

-Tm using the phrase ‘our little secret’ with Meg. The context is not abusive, but the phrase is so weighted, it’s like referring to something as “a final solution”: the famous meaning is too horrifying to feel comfortable with that combination of words in any context at all. 

-Joan’s younger sister being described as beautiful and flirtatious, and the whole bit about More fancying the younger sister but going for the older out of honour. The book says that More’s fascination with joan’s sister is the reason he realised he couldn’t be a priest. Given Joan’s 16, her sister’s 15 at the oldest, possibly 14. So a 26 year old can’t be a priest because he’s lusting after a 14-15 year old girl who is attractive and who has been flirting with him. Squick. 

-also no mention of erasmus at the end of tm’s life. Boo. I think a dude in the tower would think about his BFF of 30+ years who he hasn’t seen for 10+ years 

Good bits

-It’s obviously unintentional, but given how the word ‘gay’ has changed, i gave a little cheer every time a character was described as gay. Cecily and John are both gay, Thomas More is very gay, and later in the book wishes he could go back to being gay again. Loving the accidental representation 

-”a boy who is not worth the tossing” i have a dirty mind ok

-Joan getting something of a personality! She even feels insecure because she’s a normal person stuck in a family of geniuses.

-George Boleyn is described as being ‘a bright boy’ and later the girls joke that if they meet him they’ll probably fall in love THIS SO REFRESHING. Otoh, Mary Boleyn is slutshamed and Anne is a scheming minx so the double standard does spoil it a little. 

-Thomas More makes puns! At one point Alice says “more’s the pity” and then immediately says “don’t you dare make a pun out of that. i know u will. DON’T I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR PUNS” Granted, Plaidy stresses that his wit is never cruel or mocking (Doubt.jpeg) but i think this is maybe the funniest More. 

-It acknowledges the heretic burning! Not bad for 1950-something. At the end there’s a sort of Hm Thomas More Is A Complex Dude How Do We Approach Him page from H8′s POV.

-More’s father getting all misty-eyed when his son becomes Chancellor

-Henry VIII kissing tm’s forehead

-the flogging of the mentally ill upskirter being depicted

-Wolsey not being a caricature but a worldly and practical man. He’s explicitly described as “not a bad man”

-”He [TM] was no Erasmus, who, having thrown the stone that shattered the glass of orthodox thought, must run and hide himself lest he should be hurt by the splinters” not a very fair way to depict Erasmus (as he spent a lot of the last decades of his life arguing against Luther and trying to mediate between religious factions, esp in Basel) However, I like the metaphor

-Meg talking about how she and her sisters will always compare men unfavourably to their father... understandable.

-More explaining why Heretic Burning is Good Actually is done well

-Meg pointing out that More and Erasmus both criticised the Church, only it’s a bit half-baked because More never experiences any doubt or crisis over it. 

-Meg being torn between the Lutheran and the Catholic men she loves is at least some conflict and stakes when it finally shows up.

-Alice standing trial for dogknapping on page 195. A Big Lipped Alligator Moment, and I’ve no idea the source (i doubt Plaidy would make it up completely, it’s so out of nowhere) but it’s fun. It feels like one of More’s ‘merry tales’

“[Erasmus] read aloud to Thomas when he came home; and sometimes Thomas would sit by his friend’s bed with Margaret on one side of him and Mercy on the other; he would put an arm about them both, and when he laughed and complimented Erasmus so that Erasmus’ pale face was flushed with pleasure, then Margaret believed that there was all the happiness in the world in that room.” my emotions! my emotions! my ship is sailing, i repeat, the ship is sailing!

-”Meg, this is one of the happiest days of my life. it is a day I shall remember on the day i die. i shall say to myself when i find death near me: ‘the great erasmus said that of my daughter, my meg.’”

-”So the King likes verses!” said mistress middleton, her voice softening a little. 

“Ah, madam,” said Thomas. “What the King likes today, may we hope Mistress Middleton will like tomorrow?” Do I smell... flirtation...

-”His face was pleasant and kindly, [Alice] concluded....She would like to feed him some of her possets, put a layer of fat on his bones with her butter.” Does this version of Alice have a feeding kink I definitely think, in this ‘verse, Tm and Alice are 100% having sex.

-John Colet’s in it, though described as tm’s confessor (who i think was actually grocyn or linacre)

-Alice clearing a path for a fainting Jane with “Stand aside, you oafs.” alexa, play X gon give it to you. 

[vacuousauto]

📃🎥🏳‍🌈

tysm for tha ask molli!! ill talk abt kny here bc its takin over my life rn qwq

spoilers ahead 4 tha whole series!!

📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc?

kny is a manga w an anime adaptation thats had 1 season so far n a movies bein made of my fav arc!! (also this plot desc may not b perfect bc i havent read it in like 4 months)

its abt a boy called tanjirou whos whole family got killed by a demon, n his sister nezuko got turned into a demon (which fun fact: in kimetsu theyre man-eatin creatures w different powers called blood demon arts!!)

hes sent by giyuu (a demon slayer!) 2 join tha demon slayer corps so hell become stronger n mayb get a little revenge. as a treat (and also mayb find a way 2 turn nezuko human?)

as he trains he learns how 2 do water breathing (a sword technique taught by him n giyuus mentor, urokodaki) n his final challenge is 2 cut a massive boulder in half w his sword

its real hard 4 him (as u can imagine) so 2 kids in fox masks named sabito n makomo come n help him, but after tanjirou cuts tha rock n tells urokodaki abt him its revealed theyre dead???

@ final selection (basically a demon slayer entrance exam where u win by surviving on a demon-infested mountain 4 seven days) he learns from a real fucked up demon that hes exclusively been targetin urokodakis students n that not even sabito could slice its neck open?? (thats how him n makomo died)

after tanjirou kills tha demon n basically puts all tha water breath students’ souls @ peace he passes tha exam!! its been 7 days n now he gets his nichirin blade (the only kinda sword that can kill a demon, tha only 2 ways they can die is thru a slice 2 tha neck from a nichirin blade n sunlight)

turns out nezuko was turned by the strongest demon of all, michael jackson muzan kibutsuji, n so he sets out 2 hunt him down n try 2 kill him

but he aint so strong @ first so he needs 2 try 2 take down tha twelve kizuki first (the 12 strongest demons besides muzan)

another reason he needs 2 kill tha kizuki is 2 gather their blood for a demon named tamayo n her assistant yushirou!! tamayo can make a cure if tanjirou can gather blood samples 4 her (the stronger tha demon tha more of muzans blood they have so hes gonna have 2 aim high)

he meets a bunch more slayers along tha way, includin zenitsu (a scaredy cat thunder breath user who basically simps 4 nezuko n becomes a badass when hes asleep) n inosuke (a rowdy beast breath user who wears a boar mask n lived in tha mountains)

after lower moon 5 gets killed by giyuu, nezuko unlocks her blood demon art (exploding blood!) n tanjirou remembers how 2 use tha hinokami kagura, him n nezuko get captured by a slayer called shinobu qwq

turns out she n giyuu are 2 of the nine hashira, the strongest of all tha demon slayers!! but theyre all havin a debate over whether they should kill tanjirou n nezuko 4 goin against corps rules n travelin w a demon

eventually oyakata-sama (tha leader of tha slayer corps) comes in n tells em its ok, urokodaki sent a letter explainin that nezukos never hurt anyone n if she does, tanjirou giyuu n urokodaki all have 2 die basically

oyakata-sama also tells em that tanjirous met kibutsuji, at which everyone goes feral at (and understandably, none of em had ever even seen him before hes that elusive)

so they get 2 live bc theyre like. tha best hope the slayers have @ findin kibutsuji

the rest of the hashira are kyoujurou (flame), muichirou (mist), mitsuri (love), obanai (serpent), gyoumei (stone), tengen (sound) n sanemi (wind)

theres also kanao (shinobus pupil, flower breathing) n genya (sanemis brother, eats demons 2 gain power n basically become a demon temporarily, also He Has A Gun)

ive gone on a lot here so ill try 2 keep it brief now but i HAVE 2 explain infinity train or ill die (slight suicide tw but no one actually does that outside of dreams)

BASICALLY the lower 6 moons have a meetin @ kibutsujis infinity castle, muzan decides 2 dismantle tha lower moons bc they keep fuckign dying

all of em get their shit wrecked except enmu, who avoided death by usin muzans “dont tell me what 2 do” rule against him n beggin 4 death basically

so he gets a metric fuckton o blood n goes off 2 kill tanjirou

turns out he keeps killin people on his train n kyos gone 2 investigate!! the main gang (the kamaboko gang as the fandom calls it) are there too bc tanjirou needs 2 investigate what hinokami kagura really is (turns out its sun breathing, the og form and ones that only folks w the same mark on his forehead can use) n if anyone knows abt the alleged “fire breathing” as they know it rn its the fire hashira!!

so they get on tha train (inosukes lovin tha experience bc hes Literally Never Seen A Train Before) n kyo basically adopts the whole group

they take some tickets n promptly fall asleep HERES WHERE ENMUS DEMON ART COMES INTO PLAY!!! DREAM MANIPULATION BABEYYY

BASICALLY he can make people fall asleep in a buncha ways (the mouths on his hands, his weird eye thingies, the tickets) n once thats happened he n his henchmen can access said dreams (he can even control em!!) n if they find tha “spiritual core” they can destroy it n essentially leave em as an empty shell thatll never wake up!! yaaaaaay /s

he fails bc tanjirou realises a way out n its by cuttin his own head off in his dream, eventually everyones awake again n tanjirou finds enmu on tha roof(?) of tha train

after a while he does manage 2 decapitate him but surprise!!! hes not dead

turns out he literally FUSED WITH THA TRAIN n is plannin on eatin everyone inside, includin kyo n the gang

but he doesnt bc Main Protags Cant Die(tm) n dies while complainin that he wants a redo (sorry enmu, ily but u cant turn back time unless ur yoshikage kira)

also sidenote enmus tha only kizuki w/o a canon backstory as far as i can remember and????? H??

ANYWHO after that whole debacle basketball akaza (UPPER moon 3) shows himself!!! FUCK

n after all that struggle against the 8th strongest demon of all time now they gotta deal w tha 4th strongest????? damn,

so yeah it goes how youd imagine, its a tough fuckin battle n its Not Fun but it turns out kyoujurou fucking dies n i genuinely didnt realise until he said “kamado my boy, lets have one final chat” bc i was so in denial n lets face it i still am now

long story short idk how im gonna manage 2 get thru the movie w/o breakin down @ the end

anyway after that horrible horrible time tanjirou goes n meets senjurou, kyos little bro, who gives him kyos sword guard thing (its shaped like a flame!!) n i havent read it in a while so i cant FULLY remember but i think this is where he learns abt sun breathing??

after that they end up goin on a mission in tha red light district w tengen, his 3 wives are there 2 serve as spies (theyre kunoichi, which i think are ninjas of some kind??) n the boys have 2 find em

they do manage 2 find em but not after runnin into upper moon 6, who are 2 twins called daki n gyuutarou

after that fight tengen has 2 retire bc he got fucked up p bad from that fight n he wants 2 make sure tha girls are ok above all

so after that arc tanjirou n nezuko go down 2 tha swordsmith village (bc the guy who usually makes his swords is fuckin tired of repairin it) n run into mitsuri!! she tells tan that theres smth in tha forest thatll make him stronger

ngl this is tha arc i remember tha least abt so this desc is prolly SO inaccurate despite havin 2 o my favs in it)

but muichirou shows himself too n hes mean 2 tanjirou >:/ (he does get nicer eventually but 2 him specifically)

a 10 y/o kid named kotetsu shows tan this 6 armed trainin robot called yoriichi type 0 (based on tha first slayer 2 use sun breathin) n tanjirou breaks it by accident qwq

but he keeps trainin thanks 2 kotetsu but tha kids a harsh fuckin trainer ill tell u that

anyway so we have a whole buncha demons 2 deal w here except most of em are 1 demon split into different parts

hantengu n gyokko, upper moons 4 n 5 respectively!! mui deals w gyokko while mitsuri genya nezuko n tanjirou deal w hantengu

in these fights mitsuri n mui get their demon slayer marks!! these are marks that they get when they surpass the limits of tha human body n they look like tha marks demons have (muis looks like clouds on his cheeks n mitsuris is 2 hearts on her collarbone)

next up is tha hashira trainin arc!! everyone gets trained by each of tha hashira 2 try n unlock their slayer marks

each have a dif trainin style that focuses on dif stuff (for example gyoumei focuses a lot on physical strength n stuff like that, obanai is more abt accuracy) n this is where giyuus backstory gets revealed bc he doesnt think hes worthy o bein a hashira :((

basically him n sabito were absolute besties!! they both trained together n sabito basically told him not 2 die ever

but it all goes wrong @ final selection- sabito manages 2 take down every demon on tha mountain but one of em, that bein the hand demon that exclusively targets water breathers (theyre easy 2 distinguish bc of their blue haoris n custom made fox masks)

he manages 2 save giyuu n everyone else from tha selection except 4 himself (this is why giyuus haori is like that- its made from his sister n sabitos haoris)

giyuu blames himself 4 both of their deaths bc he failed 2 protect em n says that he doesnt deserve 2 have passed tha selection let alone b a hashira,, but tanjirou convinces him otherwise!! ^^

then one day while giyuus trainin w sanemi disaster hits- oyakata-sama, his wife n two of their kids just died

the 2nd to last arc- the infinity castle!! thingsre gettin real n muzans revealed himself

in tha infinity castle EVERYONES there but can u really blame em theyve been workin up 2 this 4 millenia

shinobu runs into upper moon 2- douma, aka the bastard that killed her sister as well as inosukes mum

she is. justifiably pissed. n she gives it her all but he kills her :(( douma ily but also FUCK YOU.

so perfect timing!!! heres her adopted sister!! as well as inosuke!!!! revenge battle time >:0

in the end shinobus poison is what kills him- her whole body is filled w wisteria poison thats deadly 2 a demon so he basically consumed her whole body weight in poison rip

but ofc word gets out via messenger crow that shes dead n its just a real sad moment tbh :( but theres no time 4 that bc giyuu n tanjirou just ran into akaza >:((

so tanjirous pissed as hell now n w their combined efforts they take down tha basketball lookin bastard (bastardball??)

meanwhile obanai n mitsuri (n yushirou iirc?? he uses his own art 2 control her @ some point tho i cant remember when) deal w tha new upper moon 4 (nakime, whos also shiftin tha rooms around w her blood art n makin tha fight super fuckign annoyin tbh) n muichirou genya sanemi n gyoumei deal w kokushibou (upper moon 1, also tha original sun breathers twin brother so he gets moon breathin >:3)

mitsuri n obanai fake their deaths w help from yushirou n muzan falls 4 it, which comes in handy later ;3

zenitsu also deals w his former bully, upper moon 6 aka kaigaku aka dickhead supreme who if zenitsu didnt kill i would personally kill w my bare hands

so after everyones taken down all thats left is muzan >:( muzan kills tamayo real early on n everyones goin all out on him

we also learn that he has multiple brains n hearts in his body eww

also the hashira have their marks now!! but all but sanemi n giyuu get killed n giyuu loses his arm :((((

genya also gets killed noo

eventually ofc the battle is won thanks 2 everyones relief, it took for fuckin ever bc the only way muzan can die is tha sun so they had 2 kill time n keep him out in tha sun 4 a long time

also nezukos been cured!! shes a human!! n shes comin 2 help!!

but OH GOD OH FUCK MUZAN TURNED TANJIROU INTO A DEMON N GIYUUS CRYIN N INOSUKES CRYIN THRU HIS MASK N ITS GOIN SO FUCKING WRONG but he gets tha will 2 turn back bc Fuck You Muzan, The Power Of Friendship Defeats All

the 2nd to last chapter is tha happy endin, the kamaboko gang visit tanjirou n nezukos house, giyuu cuts his hair n SMILES n tha hashira have their final meetin w oyakata-samas son kiriya

i cried readin it ngl their sufferin is finally over...... it cost a lot but now theres no more demons,,,

chapter 205 is set in tha modern day! kanao n tanjirous descendants are shown, as well as zenitsu n nezukos

everyone who died/never had kids get reincarnated (for example gyoumei is now a daycare worker, kyos reincarnation toujurou is besties w one o tans descendants n giyuu (giichi) is friends w sabito again!! makomos their friend too!!

ALSO KIRIYA IS STILL ALIVE hes the oldest man in japan!! this is huge bc the ubayashiki family dont usually live past 30 bc of a curse that was put on em when they had muzan

yushirou is still alive too but thats bc hes a demon n he paints tamayo for a living qwq

it just made me cry so hard bc waaah,,, everyone gets 2 live a demon-free life now,,, anyway typin this took me like an hour im sorry mint (as well as anyone else who read this)

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

tha infinity train arc as a whole tbh??? its basically enmu n kyoujurous big moment and. i care them sm. i cant wait 4 tha movie qwq except 4 their deaths ofc

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

i have a lotta headcanons really!! outta my f/os favs tho i hc:

giyuu is trans bi n autistic

kyo is gay n has adhd

muichirou is nb n pan

mitsuri is pan

douma is gay

enmu is nb pan n autistic

[jungshookz]

basketballcaptain!yoongi

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ genre: basketball captain x water girl, cheesy cheesy stuff, the FLUFFIEST fluff, jungoo is an idiot, humour, nSFW = smut, cocky yoongi, spoiler alert yoongi does a body shot off of u it just be like that sometimes 

→ wordcount: 18.4k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me 

→ note: um can we talk about how attractive yoongi is when he spins a basketball on his finger like that,,, anyWays HAPPY DECEMBER (it’s my frickin birthday monTH) this is one day late and it’s almost 3am but i pulled thru and i was like i promised bball yoongi and that’s what i have 2 deliver to my children!! i hope u guys like this!!! pleaSE flood my inbox i love hearing back from y’all <3

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or kook or captain yoongs u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!) 

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

somehoW someway jungkook managed to squirm himself into the upperclassmen’s basketball team which not only meant there that was no longer a water-boy but also that because of basketball practice you and kook wouldn’t be able to hang out as much anymore

and he’s used to seeing you every day because you’re his best friend okAy

y’all have been friends since the first day of uni during orientation when he spilt his banana milk all over himself and you immediately rushed over with napkins AND you gave him your chocolate milk instead (ur mom told u to seize all opportunities of friend-making and that was the one you happened to choose)

and you guys spend like all day every day with each other (which surprisingly is not as exhausting as it sounds)

you suffered through freshman fifteen together

you suffered through the blood sweat and tears of midterms and finals

you suffered through many awful frat parties together

the point is you guys have been there for each other through thick and thin since day one and when jungkook realised that basketball practice was going to get in the way of that well

that just won’t do

so naturally he puts two and two together

“i’m sorry, you what????”

“i asked coach and he’s all fine and dandy with having you as my replacement for water-boy. uh… water-girl? water-person… water-girl.” jungkook pops a grape into his mouth and chews thoughtfully “but now we can continue to see each other like evEry day!!!!!”

“kook, i’m not- i’m not going to be the basketball team’s water-girl. what??? how pathetic would that be???”

“hey! don’t insult my old job! you’ll be great!! plus you get extra credit for it and i know how much you love extra credit”

“kook i don’t have TIME to be a water-girl are you kidding me right now like mid-terms are coming up and you know i like preparing ahead of time for mid-terms”

“so study during practice”

“i can’t study surrounded by the sounds of squeaky runners and basketball dribbling!!!! look that was a really nice gesture and it’s really sweet that you wanna spend time with me and stuff but i promise you we’ll still hang out!!! we’ll find a way to-“

“you’ll have an excuse to see min yoongi almost every day.” jungkook points that out casually and you go dead silent

you clear your throat and shift in your seat before popping a fry into your mouth

ah

min yoongi

sit down everyone it’s time for a little story

you’ve had the fattest crush on min yoongi since your freshman year

the moment he sat down next to you during your history lecture (there were no other seats lol) you fell in love

he asked you for a pencil and you immediately gave him yours and he gave you this cute lil smile and head tilt and was like well what are you going to write with now sweetheart

you pull out another polka-dotted patterned pencil from your pencil case almost too enthusiastically and yoongi’s like haha alright then

you remember he had mint-green hair the first time you met him and your bad boy radar started tingling and your brain was just like YA HE’S RLY HOT WE LIKE HIM

he has silver?? or bleached?? hair now which honestly makes you feel hot just thinking about it because mM he looks so fuckign attractive with silver hair

anyways he spent the entire term sitting next to you

the two of you talked sometimes but you were always too shy to like keep the conversation going

in fact the only time you talked to yoongi was when you guys were in class

you saw him outside of class once and waved at him but he kinda just looked at you and then looked back at his friends and you were like okay big yikes never doing that again

but later in class he was like omg sorry i didn’t wave back at you i didn’t recognise ur face

and you immediately forgave him because thaT’s how much you adored min yoongi

but of course

all good things must come to an end

the next term you didn’t have any classes with him

or the next

or the next

and now you’re in your third year and yoongi’s in his final year

and you still have your not so teeny-weeny crush on him even though you haven’t spoken to him since your first year here which is honestly so dumb but like the heart wants what it wants or whatever

you clear your throat and twirl a fry in between your fingers before dipping it in ketchup

the fact that you haven’t put it in your mouth yet is an indicator that you are deep in thought

and jungkook’s like c’mon…… c’mon baby……. so close…….

“i mean…. i could always use the extra credit”

HOOK LINE AND SINKER BABY

jungkook has to contain his shriek of excitement and instead he nods quickly and is like cool cool i’ll tell coach

when jungkook hands you a pair of gym shorts and a grimy looking white t-shirt you immediately start regretting your decision

but you suck it up because you’re a Big Boi and you know what jungkook’s right!! it’s a good way to spend time together and doing this can spice up your resumé or whatever and show that you too can be a sporty person lol

“so like do i just have to… hand out bottles of water” you reach down and tug at the knee high socks before sitting down on the creaky wooden bench and crossing your legs

this is probably one of the only times you’ve ever been on the basketball court let alone the sports centre

“well..,.,.,” jungkook pauses and then smiles sheepishly “you also have to hand out towels and then you have to wash the jerseys after practice aNd the towels and technically we don’t do the plastic water bottle thing anymore because of the environment so instead we use reusable cups and all that so instead you’ll have to fill up a huge jug of ice water before every practice and every game and the water refill station is like by the football field which is a ten minute walk from here so then you’ll have to lug it over and you can’t be late or else coach will-“

“i’m going to kill you.” the next thing he knows you’re suddenly launching off the bench and towards him and you end up chasing him around the basketball court multiple times but of course you never catch him because he’s a speedy boi “i’M GOING TO KILL YOU”

“I’M SORRY THAT I JUST WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU” jungkook screams in reply and he feels the whoosh of a basketball hurtling past his head

all of a sudden the two of you hear the blast of a whistle and jungkook immediately stops and you end up slamming right into his back

the next thing you know you’re staring up at the ceiling and there are cartoon birds circling your head

jungkook yanks you back up to your feet quickly and you have to lean against him and grip onto his arm to stop yourself from toppling to the ground

when did his back get so hard and muscly

“don’t make me regret recruiting you onto the team, jeon” coach bang raises a brow at jungkook and jungkook smiles sheepishly “you must be y/n! our new water girl.”

you clear your throat and adjust your glasses (that u should’ve taken oFF in case u get whacked in the face by a ball) before nodding quickly “yes! yep, um, that’s me. thank you for… letting me… hydrate… the team”

what the fuck

what the hell was that

lol okay moving on

“i’m sure jungkook’s already told you all about the basics and what you have to do - i’ll go over it with you after practice today in case jungkook missed anything.”

“so like- what am i supposed to do during practice? like… do i just sit on the bench and-“

“yep! you can always bring your books in to study if you’d like. it’s kind of just like a free period for you, think about it like that. aLRIGHT BOYS HUDDLE UP” you jump like ten feet into the air when coach bang blows his whistle and you immediately head over to the bench

jungkook grins and waves at you from where the boys are and you scowl and roll your eyes

you love him but sometimes he kinda irritating u know

the doors to the gym swing open and someone runs in

“i’m here! i’m here, i’m not late!”

oh

oh

you recognise that bleached head of hair

it’s like he’s running in slow motion

oh god

he’s so beautiful

“not as late as you usually are, min. good job!”

you feel your heart skip a beat at the sight of min yoongi jogging into the gym and huddling up with the rest of the guys

“sorry, coach! you know how it is sometimes”

“… i really don’t. okay, so-“

god he looks good wearing a bandana

you look down at your outfit and immediately cringe

there is nO way in hell you’re going to let min yoongi see you wearing this

the gym shorts luckily are for girls so they’re not too bad but this shIRT…,.,, sweeTIe

you roll up the sleeves and tie the shirt into a little knot

a cute lil crop top

a sweaty cute lil crop top with questionable stains on it

okay

okay you can work with this

you look up and catch a couple of the guys looking over at you and you immediately go bright red

yoongi tilts his head and smiles and you’re like okAY let me pretend like i’m doing work!!!!!

practice goes by pretty smoothly

a couple times the ball goes out of bounds and rolls over to you and kook is always the one to come and get it

finally

finALLY you have something to do

you start filling up cups of water and handing them out to all the grabby hands

one of the guys sighs and dumps the cup of water over his head and you resist the urge to strangle him because he totally just waSTED WATER that you TREKKED all the way to the other side of the school for

“here you gooOO” you clear your throat and look away bashfully when yoongi heads over and reaches for the cup in your hand

he thanks you quietly before chugging it down

yoongi crushes the paper cup in his hand and tosses it into the recycling bin and that’s not supposed to be attractive but somehow he makes it look attractive

meanwhile jungkook’s basically lying underneath the water dispenser letting the water run into his mouth and you’re about to slap him and stop him from being such a water buffalo but you feel a gentle tap on your shoulder

“don’t i know you from somewhere?” yoongi asks and purses his lips and you find that heat rises to your cheeks again

oh

he doesn’t  

he doesn’t remember you

well like

he remembers YOU (kinda) he just doesn’t remember your name

okay that’s fine like it’s not as bad as it could be

that’s cool whatever

“i’m, um, i’m y/n! yeah. i’m… i’m y/n.” you clear your throat and you feel your cheeks heat up because what kind of an introduction was that

“y/n…” yoongi pauses and squints his eyes a little before they pop wide open “y/n! polka-dot pencil girl?”

“…yep, polka-dot pencil girl!” you chuckle awkwardly and scratch the back of your neck before you point to the jug of water “water-girl now. i’ve, uh, i’ve levelled up”

yoongi laughs and tilts his head and GOD his smile is adorable “well it’s good to have you on the team!”

before you get a chance to say something back coach bang tells the boys to hit the showers because they all stANK

actually it’s a good thing yoongi had to leave because you did not know where to go with that conversation

socializing is exhausting honestly

“alright, y/n - now we get to the best part of your job.” coach bang pats your back a couple times before pointing to the laundry cart

…son of a bitch

“get in there, soldier!”

you groan quietly and feel your soul leave your body

oh good god

boys are shameless and that’s the tea sis

you have to calm yourself because you’re about to wheel a laundry basket into the men’s locker room and there are going to be shirtless guys everywhere and you know what you’re probably going to see a pee-pee or two but no one told u life was gonna be this way (clap clap clap clap)  

this is like a dream and a nightmare combined

you hear wolf-whistles as you enter the locker rooms and you keep your head down as you wheel the laundry cart through

fuCK this is so awkward

you go to class with most of these guys and they’re literally all half naked right now

whOOp that’s a butt you just looked directly into someone’s ass cheeks

ur going to kill jungkook for forcing u to take this job

you can’t help but sigh a breath of relief when you see jungkook’s familiar face

“heads up!” you squeak when jungkook suddenly YEETs his uniform into the cart

“don’t throw your shit at me!!” you scowl and pick up a sock that didn’t make the tough journey into the cart

“here you go, y/n!” namjoon hands you his (folded) uniform and you smile

namjoon is so sweet and nice

…why is he friends with jungkook lol

“get oFF of mE you sweaty freak” you scowl when jungkook wraps his arms around you in a back hug and nuzzles his gross sticky face against your neck

“isn’t this great?? we get to spend so much time together now!” jungkook grins and you manage to wriggle out of his grip and head back to the cart

“if by great you mean absolutely torturous then ye-“ you gasp when you bump into someone hArd and fall back on your bum and suddenly you’re staring up at the ceiling lights

“oh my god - are you okay??” you sit up quickly and-

NO

YOU ARE NOT GOOD

A HALF NAKED MIN YOONGI IS STANDING OVER YOU RIGHT NOW

he has his uniform balled up under his arm and he only has a towel wrapped around his waist and goD his body is glistening from his shower and he smells like vanilla

he’s not like jungkook the muscle pig but he’s still pretty fit and you see the faint outlines of his abs and his v-line and wOw you need to stop ogling him right now

the voice in the back of your mind reminds you that yoongi is very very naked underneath his towel

he holds his hand out for you to take but you shake your head quickly

“i’m- yep, i’m great. i’m fine. i need your shorts. to wash.” you clear your throat and hop back up onto your feet before standing behind the cart and clutching onto the rail

“… just my shorts?” he smiles and raises a brow

“and your top. both of them. all of it.”

girl

GET  A GRIP

what is wrONG WITH U  

yoongi smiles and tosses his uniform into the cart before moving past you to his locker

you scowl at jungkook when he grins and wiggles his eyebrows at you

you resist the urge to grab a handful of sweaty shorts and dump it over his head

“so,,,, you think you’re going to shoot your shot with yoongi?” jungkook hums and pokes your hand with his pencil

“i’m only doing this for the extra credit.”

“uh-huh, yeah, for sure!” jungkook sighs and leans back against the chair

you let out a sigh when you feel his gaze on you

“i’m not going to shoot my shot with yoongi.”

“no, no. i believe you!”

you look up from your notebook

“i’m serious!!!!”

jungkook purses his lips and shrugs “….uh-huh.”

okay

so it’s been about two-ish weeks since you started working as the water-girl

so far things have been pretty good pretty gucci

you’ve become a well-oiled machine when it comes to handing out cups of water and dodging sweaty pieces of uniform that are thrown at you instead of the cart

coach bang thinks you’re doing a greAt job even though your job requires like zero skills but you know what you’ll take whatever compliment you can GeT

and now it’s lead up to this

the first game of the season

the boys have been practicing pretty hard and you’ve been to every single practice session so u knoW that they know what they’re doing

first game of the season!! which is always exciting

you’ve never been excited about it before

as mentioned previously you are noT a sports person

but jungkook’s on the team now and you wanna support him

and also you need an excuse to stare at min yoongi for as long as you want without coming off as completely creepy

and aLso you’re the water girl so you kinda have to be there regardless of you wanting to be there or not

you grunt as you set down the barrel of water

you’re definitely going to get swoLE after this because dis shit is so heavy

you sigh and look down at your little setup

water? check

ice? check

first aid kit? double check

something’s missing

oh frick u forgot the cups

and you can’t have kook drinking straight out of the barrel that would not be ideal

you cringe thinking of how gross and germy that would be

so you head to the back to grab the box of cups

and as you make your back to the bench to join coach bang you’re suddenly swATTEd in the face by a pom pom

“jesus-“ you sputter and blink quickly

“oh my goodness, i’m so sorry! i didn’t see you there, hun!” the cheerleader grins at you before going back into her routine “woo, go team!”

you haven’t really spoken to the cheerleaders before

you’ve seen them practice outside on the courtyard but they never come into the gym

you know some of their names tho

lisa of course is the head cheerleader

who else do you know

lisa’s in your english lecture

there’s rose

wendy

most of them are really nice!!!

you like cheerleaders but u don’t know how they’re so peppy all the time

at one point you considered trying out for the team but then you saw them doing that thing that they do when they lift one girl into the air and the girl in the air has to balance on one leg and hold up an arm with a hand on her hip and then they DROP HER AND CATCH HER aNd the poor girl has to do aLL of that while maintaining a megawatt smile on her face

so then you were like lol perhaps not

not to mention

you would be the grumpiest cheerleader alive

there’s no way you’d be able to smile through like a 10 minute routine

and you have to constantly cheEr the team on like sure you’ll whoop once or twice but more than that is a wee bit excessive

anyways the game’s going pretty good so far?? the home team is a couple points ahead of the opposing team so you’re pretty sure the guys have this game in the bag you’re not too worried

coach bang literally doesn’t care like he’s playing tetris on his phone right now

basketball isn’t typically thought of as a sexy sport in ur humble opinion but daMn min yoongi definitely made basketball his BITCH

every single shot he’s made has been flawless

it just swooshes right into the hoop

doesn’t even hit the rim of the hoop or anything it just glides right in

he weaves in and out between people so effortlessly

also when his tongue flicks out to lick over his bottom lip

and hello??? sweaty yoongi???? running a hand through his hair and adjusting his bandana

YES daddy

oh my god and his HANDS

his hands are so attractive

long fingers

veiny

trimmed fingernails

this is a very creepy description of his hands but

is it weird that you find his hands sexy

he just has…. manly hands

the way he grips the ball is just *italian chef kiss*  

and when he spins the ball on one finger casually while talking to the team about strategies and techniques during the short break

mMPH

thank god you’re the water girl because u r thirsty af right now

you spend the whole game practically drooling over yoongi you don’t even notice when jungkook score the winning shot

jungkook sprinTS to you immediately after he’s done freaking out with the boys

“DID U SEE IT DID U SEE ME I JUST SCORED THE WINNING SHOT” he yanks you up off the bench and you instinctively start bouncing up and down with him

it’s not a real friendship if there aren’t little white lies sprinkled in every now and then am i right ladies

“……OF COURSE I SAW THE WINNING SHOT I’M SO PROUD OF U” you squeal in glee and jungkook falls for it duH because ur a good actress

he moves past you to get some water

“hey look at you!! you had all the cups filled and ready to go”

“y/n” yoongi greets you and you immediately turn into timid quiet y/n again

“hi yoongi” you automatically offer him a cup of water and he takes it graciously

he downs the whole cup in one go and you watch his adam’s apple bob as he sloRPS it all down

he crushes the paper cup in his hand before shooting it into the recycling bin

f u C K THAT WAS RLY HOT

“cute shirt” yoongi’s eyes look you up and down before he smirks and tilts his head “i-“

“yoongi! you did such a good job out there!” yoongi turns around and you look over his shoulder to see lisa bouncing over to him

hm

he turns to face her and she gives him a tight hug and you’re like lmao okay yEET this is awkward what do i do  

so you turn back to face kook and yank him away from the barrel of water

“if you even think about opening the lid of the barrel and shoving your face into the water i will slaughter you”

“y/n, cOMe on” jungkkok groans and flops down and squishes his cheek against the table

“shush, kook. we’re in the library” you hiss and pinch his ear before turning your attention back to your laptop

“please?? it’s going to be so fun!!!”

“iiiiiii don’t know” you mutter and scratch the back of your neck “you know parties aren’t really my thing n u always go off with ur teammates anyway so i don’t wanna-“

“yoongi’ll definitely be there”

you scoff and give him a pointed look

“don’t you dare play that card again”

“c’mON PLEAse it’s going to be so fun!!!! we’re celebrating a win!!!!! you’re part of the team!!!”

it takes everything within you not to burst out laughing

you?? part of the team??

all you do is hydrate some thirsty bois and then wash their nasty ass uniforms like how is that being part of the team

“look, just come for like an hour. if you don’t like it, i’ll take you back home and we can watch movies and gorge on ice cream and pizza.” jungkook pouts and steals another one of your animal crackers and pops it into his mouth “pleaaaaaaaas-“

“no.”

“pLeaAAAAAAAAA-“ you lean over and clamp a hand over jungkook’s mouth when people start to stare at the two of you

“will you cut it out?” you sigh and sit back down on the bench “i’m not-“

“…PLEAAASSAASASSAEASAEZA-“

“aLRIGHT alright! finE!” you scowl and swat jungkook’s hands away when it finds its way back to your baggie of animal crackers  

he smiles that bunny smile at you when you glare at him for pulling you into going to this damn party

long story short: you should’ve stayed home tonight

you’ve been here for about an hour and a half

you’re nursing your second cup of god-knows-what’s-in-here fruit punch (jimin made it) so you’re feeling it a liTTle but it’s not too bad ?? you think

you’ve stuck to kook’s side the whole night because lol where else would you be

and jungkook said he wasn’t going to go crazy tonight but you knew that promise would be broken the moment you guys stepped into the house and he was like yO BRO WHAT’S UP BRO LET’S GO BRO

so now jungkook is drunk off his ass and you’re figuring out how the hell you’re going to survive the night with a drunk jungkook

it’s loud in here

you can feel the bass of the song in your ASS that’s how loud the music is (ew)

people are pushing you around and they’re all sweaty and you’ve gotten stepped on plenty of times

your poor pinky toe is all numb

the only source of lights are fairy lights strung up around the rooms which is awful for your eyes like your vision already sucks you NEED proper lighting

how come they’re only playing drake songs??? there are other artists that exist besides drAKE

kiki i know you love me sweetie but you gotta get outta here

you for one would love to hear some one direction songs blast over the speakers am i right ladies

now thAT would hype you up big time

and on top of thAt you haven’t even seen yoongi yet so you’re pretty sure you dressed up for nOTHING

you’re wearing a plain black tank top tucked into a cute checkered skirt and you have a sensible cardigan over the outfit

((it’s a very cute outfit 10/10)) (((a little sensible for a house party but it’s okay honey you can try again next time)))

“oKay you know i think we’ve had enough for the night!” you grab the bottle of vodka from jungkook and put it down on the counter before grabbing his wrist and tugging on it gently “how about we get you to a nice, comfy bed? you can snooze for an hour and i’ll wake you up and you can come back to my place and-“

“bODY SHOTS” you hear the smash of glass in the distance and jump in surprise and the moment jungkook hears ‘body shots’ he wriggles out of your grip and heads towards where everyone is

“jung-“ you squeak when jungkook suddenly turns back and grabs you before swinging you over his shoulder “jeON JUNGKOOK NO”

“BODY SHOTS” jungkook laughs loudly and “y/N Do some body shots with mE!!!!”

all of a sudden you’re being plopped down on the edge of the kitchen counter with a whole crowD of people around the two of you

you blink quickly because the room is kind of spinning from how fast jungkook put you down

there are already a line of girls waiting patiently next to jungkook and you groan in frustration when jungkook lifts his shirt up over his head and tosses it somewhere into the crowd of eager girls before hopping up onto the counter as well

you’re going to have to go and ask the girls for his shirt back later and you know you gon have to fight the ladies to get it back

“step on up, ladies and gents!” jimin cheers and hands both you and kook a wedge of lime before handing a shot to the first girl in line for kook

“jimin, get someone else up here because i’m not about to have a complete stranger-“

“we got anyone for water girl, hm?”

everyone whoops and you freeze

you’re surprised at the reaction that that question got and your cheeks flare up immediately and you try to hand the wedge of lime back to jimin

“jimin, i really don’t-“

“-i’ll do it.” you turn your head when you feel someone standing in front of you and your heart drops to your stomach when you see yoOngi standing before you with a smirk

his eyes are kind of glazed over so you know he been drankin but godDamn the way he’s looking at you makes you feel some kinda way

“you sure you don’t wanna play?” jimin looks at you with a twinkle in his eye and you clear your throat before scratching your elbow

“i mean i guess i could play one round”

“that’s what i thought” jimin coos and pinches your cheek and you scowl at him “alright, captain!” yoongi gets a couple pats on the back from jimin before jimin hands him a shot of tequila

“hey, but like, for real, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to” jimin mutters in your ear as he prepares the salt

you shake your head quickly “no, it’s fine! i’ll be fine”

college experience and all that jazz

and also min yoongi experience and all that jazz

jimin sprinkles salt,,, basically all over jungkook’s abs and the girls go crazy and you immediately look down at yourself because whERE is jimin going to sprinkle salt on you??? you don’t want people looking at your tummy!!! or your stripey purple bra!!!!!!!

jimin can see that you’re about to explode so he decides to take it easy on you lol

instead of lying you down and sprinkling salt on your chest or your tummy he sprinkles salt on the back of yoongi’s hand instead

“this is y/n’s first time, we don’t wanna overwhelm her” jimin winks and you clear your throat and avoid yoongi’s gaze

yoongi reaches forward and grabs your hand that’s holding the lime and pulls it up a little “hold that nice n steady for me, angel” yoongi purrs and steps closer til he’s standing in between y ou r legs

[sweating intensifies]

oh god

oh god

you just have to bend down a little and you’d be kissing yoongi

that’s great that’s wonderful we’re cool we’re super cool

“alright, on the count of three-“ jimin holds up the timer “one, two… three-!”

you watch as yoongi licks the line of salt off the back of his hand anD then downs the shot (and his nose scrunches very adorably from the burn of the alcohol) and then he’s leaning forward and taking the lime in between your fingers with his mouth and suCking on it while he has one hand wrapped around your wrist and the other one casually resting on your knee and he is defINITELY staring up at you right now

you can feel his grip burning from where he’s holding you and woW it’s getting hot in here hOo someone needs to open a window

your lips part and you feel the heat rising to your cheeks when yoongi’s right eye drops in a wink before he takes the completely sucKED out lime from you and tosses it into the bin

you hear everyone break into cheers and you get snapped out of your daze a little bit

“good job, water girl” yoongi smirks and pats your knee before turning and disappearing into his group of bros and whAT JUST HAPPENED

“wOO BODY SHOTS” jungkook screams and you look over to see like four different girls on him “there’s plenty of me to goOo aROUNddDD ladiezzZzzzzz”  

“oh jesus- alright, aLRIGHT that’s enouGH ladies!!!!” you hop off the counter and swat them away like flies before grabbing jungkook and yanking him off the counter

after you finally tuck jungkook into (your) bed (u forced him to take a shower aNd brush his teeth and he has spare clothes for when he crashes at ur place) you plop down on the couch and just sit in complete silence

what happened tonight

you went to a party

didn’t do anything for like two hours

next thing you know min yoongi is sucking a lime wedge from your fingers and looking at you like he wants to devour you

were you slightly turned on? yes

wig? snatched

do you want him to do it again? yes

hotel? trivago

did your technique of repressing feelings work? absolutely not because you definitely have a crush on min yoongi once again

jesUs

you groan and roll your eyes before flopping your head backwards against the couch

having feelings is just so exhausting

and then you have to go through the effort of making sure you look extra good everyday in case you bump into yoongi

u know what

no

you don’t have feelings for yoongi

you know what he’s like

you’ve ~gathered information~ on him

you know he hooks up with plenty of girls and you heard he had a thing with lisa for a bit

you know he’s a very casual spontaneous kinda dude and he probably isn’t looking for anything serious right now BUT if he weRe looking for something well sweetie your shop is wiDe open 24/7 just for him

ok ew calm down

okay

this is just like the first time you realised you like yoongi

just suppress it and don’t address it

“suppress it don’t address it” you whisper to yourself before settling down against the couch and pulling the throw blanket up and over yourself

you sigh and close your eyes

yeah

you’ll be fine

you wake up the next morning in a cold sweat because u definitely had a rated R dream involving a certain captain of the basketball team

you compose yourself and snap out of it before deciding it’d probably be a good idea to wipe your crusty makeup off and change out of last night’s clothes

maybe even take a shower and wash all remnants of yoongi off of u (even tho u don’t wANT to)

frick

you’re already falling down the rabbit hole u might as well just accept it

“i’m staying over again i can’t be bothered to go back to my place” you jump like ten feet into the air when jungkook speaks up and that’s when you realise he’s sitting on the ground playing video games on the TV

jeSus

“how are you feeling?” you tie your damp hair up and plop down on the couch

“fine! thanks for leaving the painkillers and water for me” jungkook glances at you briefly over his shoulder and raises a brow “you okay? you look a little pale”

“i’m fine! i just, um, i’m fine.” you clear your throat before sliding off the couch and joining kook on the floor “now hand me a controller because i’m about to beat your ass at mario kart”

“y/n! we have a little surprise for youUuUu” you stand up and turn your attention away from the water dispenser to see kook and a couple of the other boys heading towards you with a box

“what’s this?” you look up and kook and he just grins and gestures for you to open up the box

you sit down on the bench and start pulling at the neatly tied ribbon

you pull out a red cardigan and raise a brow

it has a little basketball patch on the right and on the left is a patch of a cup of wATER

“it’s your varsity… cardigan!”

“we were going to get the varsity jacket for you but they were too expensive so we settled for this”

wow

same tho

“since you’re the official water girl now, the guys and i thought maybe this would be a fun way to welcome you onto the team officially” jungkook nudges your side “look at the back!!!!”

you flip the cardigan over and your heart warms at the sight of your last name stitched onto the back

judging by the stitching work jungkook definitely did this for you

“you got me a water girl cardigan?” you snort

“we made you a water girl cardigan! which makes it ten times more special”

“it’s cuTe tho right??” jin slides in next to you “i chose the patches”

“it’s very cute” you laugh and put it on “and very comfortable!”

“and it matches our varsity jackets!!” namjoon points out “put it on!!” you slide it on and woW this is very comfortable you are never taking this off you are wearing this to your graVE

“oh, cute!!!” you stand up and twist and turn a little and you notice the little elbow patches that are stitched to look like bASKETBALLS

“hey, what’s going on here?”

“oh! um, hi! hey, hello” you smile shyly and yoongi swears he could explode right there because that was adorable heLLO

“cute cardigan” yoongi hums and looks you up and down and you smile excitedly and look down at it

“thank you! i-“

“boys, huddle up!” yoongi scrunches his nose

every time he starts talking to you someone else is like SIKE

you sit down on the bench and smile at yoongi when he gives you a little wave

and you try to ignore the feeling of your heart going ddu ddu ddu  

jungkook might’ve (definitely) let it slip that you (definitely) have a thing for yoongi

not to yoongi of course lol he’s not thAt bad

one day jungkook is the only one who knows about your not so teeny crush and the next thing you know half the damn team knows about it

but you threatened each of them and said if they ever told yoongi you would put itching powder in their shorts

that doesn’t stop them from constantly teasing you though

“how come yoongi always gets a full cup of water and i always get a half-full cup of water??”

jungkook whines and you smack his arm lightly

“yeah, i want the yoongi treatment too!” jin chimes in and you swat at him when he starts laughing

your cheeks flame up when you see yoongi hiding a smile behind his cup of water while he’s wiping some sweat off his forehead

“you guys suck” you mutter and whip jungkook with a towel when he coos and makes kissy faces at you

you’re in the middle of handing clean uniforms back to the boys when the first inevitable comment comes up

“y/n, yoongi’s jersey feels so much softer than mine! how come yoongi gets all the fabric softener??” jimin pouts and rubs yoongi’s shorts against his cheek and u snaTCh it away from him and fold it back neatly

“it’s because she likes him better than us” jungkook smirks while towel-drying his hair

“all of your uniforms go into the saMe batch you duMMy” you grumble and shove jungkook’s uniform into his chest

“…she didn’t deny it” jungkook mutters lowly and the boys are like yA man ur right she’s so whipped for yoongi lol

you glare at all of them and shake your he-

“anything for me?” you immediately perk up at the sound of what has become your favourite voice

you turn around and see yoongi (you’ve gotten used to seeing him half-naked with just a towel wrapped around his waist but it still gets your heart racing) and you grin before handing him his freshly-ironed, neatly-folded uniform

“my uniform wasn’t ironed” hoseok mutters and nudges jungkook

“i’m telling you, it’s the yoongi treatment!”

“y/n, lemme help you!” you turn to look over your shoulder when you hear yoongi

he jogs up behind you and before you get a chance to say you’re fine he grabs the barrel of water effortlessly

you get a quick glimpse of his biceps flexing and you’re like o h……. sweet baby jesus have mercy

“i could’ve handled that myself, you know” you joke and open the door for yoongi

“i know. i was just being the gentleman that i am.” yoongi winks at you and you snort and roll your eyes

“why are you here so early? practice doesn’t start for like-“ you push your sleeve up a little and look down at your watch “another forty minutes or so”

“i know but i didn’t have anything to do. i was going to go to the library to do some work but i figured i’d come here instead” yoongi points to his backpack

“what kind of work do you have to do?”

“eh, i was just gonna take some notes. biology is kicking my ass”

“biology? i love biology!!!” you geek out and yoongi smiles and raises a brow “i mean… i know a bit about biology. i can help you if you want? since we have forty minutes”

yoongi scrunches his nose and looks down at his backpack before shrugging “alright, brainiac. show me whatcha got”

yoongi is 110% totally infatuated and completely enthralled with you

he lets out a sigh and leans his cheek against his knuckles as he continues listening to you

the two of you are sitting on the ground next to the bench and facing each other  

(he actually knows what you’re talking about he just wanted an excuse to talk to you)

you’re so dang cute even though you’re talking about the female reproduction system and how menstruation works

the way your eyes light up when you’re like SPERM let me tell you about the journey of the sperm to the egg is SO cute

he keeps his eyes trained on your mouth and you pause to flip through the textbook

you chew on your bottom lip to find the page you’re looking for and yoongi instinctively takes his bottom lip in between his teeth  

also you did your hair super adorable today

you have like a half-up half-down pigtails kind of situation going on (ur hair was a mess when u woke up and it looked decent like this even tho kook said you look like a three year old toddler)

and you’re wearing that darn varsity cardigan

he can see some loose threads on the end of the sleeve where you pick at unconsciously

he’s noticed that you have very endearing habits and he is Obsessed with a capital O

“so what happens is that the endometrial layer sloughs away and eliminated from the body in the form of menstrual blood! and when the estrogen and progesterone levels are too low-“

“-too low to inhibit the anterior pituitary, the cycle can begin again.” yoongi finishes off

you blink in surprise

dang he’s a fast learner

you’re a much better tutor than you thought you were

you give yourself a mental pat on the back

“yes! yes, that’s exactly right.” you clear your throat and slide the textbook back to yoongi before checking your watch

it’s been about 40 minutes of just studying

you don’t really know where to go from here lol

yoongi clears his throat “heY um there’s this movie that just recently came out and i have an extra ticket if you wanna-“

the blast of a whistle cuts yoongi off and he wants to scream into a pillow

LITERALLY

EVERY SINGLE TIME HE’S ABOUT TO ASK U OUT/BLATANTLY FLIRT W U

SOMETHING/SOMEONE INTERRUPTS HIM

“y/n!!!!!!” the two of you turn and see kook jogging towards you “i’m soRRY i skipped history today-“

“-and yesterday, and the day befor- ooF” the next thing you know kook is tackling you in a hug

yoongi feels a flame of jealousy spark within him

huh

he can’t help but wonder if you and kook are possibly,, more than friends

he’s never considered the possibility before

…damn

this is disappointing

Big Disappointment Energy

yoongi purses his lips and gets up off the ground

“hold on, kook- yoongi!” yoongi turns around “you were saying? about the movie?”

yoongi opens his mouth to speak

but now he feels pressure with the whole damn team here and also you’re talking to him with jungkook practically on tOp of you

“uh, nothing! don’t worry about it” yoongi swallows thickly and shrugs “thanks for helping me with bio”

you deflate a little

you swoRe he was about to ask u out on a movie date but

maybe he was just making small talk

“so are you gonna give me the notes from the lecture?” jungkook grins and you swat the side of his head before gently nudging him off of you

“i don’t think i have a choice, do i?”

honestly

you really reALLY love jungkook more than you should because here you are pumping up basketballs on a saturday afternoon instead of doing something more fun or productive

you dribble a freshly pumped up ball and hold it out in front of you

you close an eye and aim for the hoop and you very vioLENtly hurl it towards the hoop

instead of it going up it goes straight forward and bounces off the pole

lol

you’re literally like allergic to sports so holding the basketball alone is enough to make you break out into hives

“a little violent, no?” you jump when you hear a voice from behind you and of couRSe it’s yoongi

when you’re dressed in sweatpants and one of jungkook’s hoodies and your hair is messier than a bird’s nest and you bAREly have any makeup on of COURSE yoongi has to come and see you

“you think so? i thought that was the perfect amount of violent” you joke and bend down to pick up the ball when it rolls back towards you

“c’mon, give it a try!” yoongi nods over to the hoop and you swallow thickly

you wish this was one of those moments where ur like oh i’M not goOd at thIs at ALL and then you throw the ball covering your eyes and it goes smoothly into the hoop but it’s NOT

THIS IS REALITY SWEETHEART

you throw the ball and it bARELY reaches the hoop like that’s how weak your throw was

you turn around and give yoongi a sheepish smile and he’s like sO infatuated with you because you’re so cute

“you know, that wasn’t half bad.” yoongi offers and gets up from the bench as you go to pick up the ball “definitely have to work on your posture, tho”

all of a sudden yoongi’s standing behind you and you’re like o fuCK

status: trying not to SCREAM LIKE A PTERODACTYL

“stand up straight,” yoongi mutters lowly and he presses a hand flat against your stomach and you straighten up immediately

yoongi wraps his arms around you and places his hands over yours

you’re surprised your hands aren’t shAKIng from this interaction

his hands are so warm and so soft

“and then you just-“ yoongi raises his arms with yours and you let go of the ball as he flicks “swoosh!”

unsurprisingly the ball swOOshes into the hoop and yoongi’s still standing behind you with his hands over yours

in fact your guys’ fingers have seemed to intertwined themselves

“swoosh.” you clear your throat and wiggle out of yoongi’s grip to go and retrieve the ball

you haven’t turned around to face him yet because your face is literally on fire

yoongi’s kinda pouty about the fact you squirmed away but he recovers quickly

he ain’t a quitter

“how about you practice your dribbling? that’s easier than shooting” yoongi smirks and tilts his head

fair enough

dribbling is also a lot less stressful

“i’ll give you a three second head start-“

wait what

why do you need a head start

“and then i’m going to steal the ball from you.”

you waste approximately 1.8 seconds to register what’s happening and then you immediately sprint off and dribble the ball as fast as you can

as soon as you hear yoongi’s cackling and the sound of his shoes squeaking against the floor you’re like nopE we are NOT DOING THIS and you grab the ball and just run for your damn life

“wha- you’re trAVELLING THAT’S CHEATING” yoongi laughs and you can’t help but grin like an idiot as he chases you around the gym

“it’s mY BALL” you screech and somehow the two of you end up at the bleachers

you’re standing at opposite ends at both you and yoongi are out of breath

“gotcha!!” you shriek when yoongi grabs you all of a sudden but of course the two of you lose balance and the next thing you know you end up on the ground with yoongi on toP of you

the ball bounces gently and rolls away

the two of you are panting and looking at each other

like u physically cannOt look away

“you guys need to get a room” yoongi scrambles off of you when you guys hear jungkook

luckily it’s juSt jungkook

if coach bang walked in to see you straddling yoongi that wouldn’t be great

“oh, we weren’t- i just accidentally-“

“uh-huh”

you smile sheepishly and dust yourself off

practice goes by pretty smoothly and you can’t help but notice that yoongi is glancing over much more often than he usually does

he’s flashing you shy smiles and waving at you anD he always makes sure you’re watching him before he nonchalantly scores a point

like he tossed a ball over his shoulder and it swooshed right into the hoop and of couRse you’re frickin rearranging the cups when he does that

although he has to say he was glad you weren’t paying attention when he nearly tripped and fell flat on his face so

yoongi’s losing his mind in a good way if that makes any sense

he doesn’t think he’s ever liked someone as much as he likes you and he’s kind of scared?? because he’s never had feelings like this before

usually with girls he has to admit he

uh

loves them then leaves them is the nicer way of putting it

his heart beats sO fast when he walks into the gym and the first thing he sees is you and the first thing he hears is your giggle  

your ass looks really good in those shorts pluS your boobs look great in that tank top and hello you’re wearing that adorable cardigan you are so CUTE

his eyes can’t help but trail down to the swell of your bum when you turn to the side to talk to coach bang

yoongi looks away quickly because he is not about to sprout a boner in front of his teammates

basketball shorts do a horrible job of hiding boners

some of the greasier members of the team are like grouped together in the corner talking about you and yoongi wants to punch every single one of their smug faces in

“you think she gives it up easy?”

“are you kidding me? she obviously does. she’s practically begging for it every time she comes into the changing room. i’d take her over the bench no questions asked”

“and did you see what she was wearing at the party the other night? would’ve loved to-“

yoongi hurls a basketball at one of them and it hits him in the back of his head

“oW fuCKIN-“

“why aren’t you idiots practicing? kihyun, your dribbling sucks ass so i suggest you gET ON THAT” yoongi snaps and kihyun’s like jesus christ finE

The cult of Aphrodite was largely derived from that of-

your fingers pause on the keyboard

you look up from your laptop to see six smiling faces

okay

weird

you shake your head and go back to your paper

-largely derived from that of the Phoenician goddess Astarte, a cognate of the East Semitic goddess Ishtar, whose cult was-

the boys all exchange glances with each other

jin is the first one to speak up

“when are you and yoongi going to get together?”

you snort immediately and and continue typing

-whose cult was based on the Sumerian cult of Inanna. Aphrodite's main cult centers were-

jungkook suddenly reaches out and slaps your laptop shut

you yelp and pull your fingers away before they get snAPPed off

“we’re serious!”

“why does it matter to you people?” you raise a brow

“because you guys obviously like each other and it’s driving everyone crazy that you’re not officially together like could your flirting be any moRE obnoxious-“ jimin slaps a hand over jungkook’s mouth

your fingers pause as you take a moment to ponder

okay

you and yoongi have been flirting a lot lately

at least you thINK you guys have been flirting a lot

you like him a lot

like a LOT

and you think?? maybe he might like you back?

he acts a lot differently around you compared to the beginning of the season

“you should totally go and shoot your shot while yoongi’s shooting his shots in the gym” jin hums and you roll your eyes “get it because he’s literally shooting his shots but like you’re metaphorically-“

“yoU know what i’m going to do it because i’m going to shoot myself in the foot if i have to sit through one of your awful jokes” you start shoving everything into your backpack and namjoon gives jin a fist bump

“good luck!” you hear tae and you turn back and give the boys a wave as you swing your bag over your shoulder

a small smile twitches at your lips

for some reason you feel like you don’t need any luck

yoongi whistles a tune to himself as he swishes another ball into the hoop

he glances quickly when he hears the gym doors open but he doesn’t pay it much mind

(he’s hoping it’s you who just walked in but he’s going to act super casual like oH y/n i didn’t see u there i was just casually practicing my shots no biggie)

he hears a faint rustle and then a giggle “look at those biceps! someone’s been working out for the big game”

oh

that is not your voice

that is lisa’s voice

yoongi grips the ball and twists around quickly to look at her

“um, hi!” he greets awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck and kinda looks around the gym prayING that someone’s around

“mind if i join you? practice ended early for me.” lisa smiles that sweet smile and yoongi shrugs and nods before reciprocating a smile

“no, i don’t mind at all.”

there’s a bit of a pep in your step as you make your way down the hallway

you’ve never really done this before

the whole confessing to someone that you like them thing

mainly because you’ve never been so confident before that someone’s liked you

but now

bitch you is confident

you swear on your pet goldfish’s graVE (rip bubbles) that yoongi likes you just as much as you like him

you just feel so giddy inside it’s great!!!!!

this is a greAT FEELING

love is so nice

you let out a sigh as you see the doors to the gym and you hear the faint sound of a basketball dribbling around

you pause before you get to the doors and take a moment of silence to give yourself a pep talk

okay y/n

you know he likes you back

you’ve got this in the bAg sis

just go up to him and be like so when are you going to take me out on a date?

yeah man

big fuckin dick energy

embrace it!

you give yourself a mental fist bump and walk towards the door

you push it open slowly because all of a sudden you’re nervous

and so you open it wide enough so that you can see what’s going on but you’re still kind of hidden and-

your heart drops to your stomach

because what do you see?  

yoongi laughing as lisa shakes her pom poms right in his face

she bounces up and down excitedly and you watch as he grabs her waist and turns her around

your heart clenches at the sight of him grabbing a basketball and gesturing for her to try tossing it into the hoop

but like

that’s your guys’ thing

isn’t it??

plus lisa’s really nice like you’ve spoken to her a couple times and she’s always been really sweet and genuine and you don’t have a legitimate reason to hate her because she’s per fe ct

water girl

that’s who you are

you wash his uniform

you give him water

sometimes you clean the changing rooms

that’s who you are

you aren’t anything like lisa

you’re not top of the class

you’re not best friends with like everyboDy

you’re not the damn captain of the cheerleading squad

and like

yeah

that makes sense

yoongi’s the captain of the basketball team of course his girlfriend is going to the captain of the cheerleading squad that’s just how the universe works

he’s certainly not supposed to be with the water girl

and wow

you are definitely totally about to start crying right now

oh my god girl

you shut the door quietly and let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding

bed big disappointment energy am i right ladies

ha,.,., ha,.,

“okay, it’s fine, we’re good,” you mutter to yourself while blinking the tears away “we’re great, we’re fine! we’re cool”

whatever

u need to finish writing your paper anyway

“so like - can i talk to you about something?” lisa hums while yoongi dribbles the ball

he nods quickly and swooshes it into the hoop “yeah for sure! what’s up?”

there’s a moment of silence and lisa looks uncertain but she shakes her head and clears her throat

“i think… i think we should get back together.” yoongi freezes and is like hA,…,whAt,.,.., pARdon mE

“you… okay. um… why?”

lisa snorts ad steps a little closer to yoongi

and for some reason it feels like his feet are glued on the floor he canNOt move

“come on, yoongi. head cheerleader, captain of the basketball team - the stars are aligning for us!” lisa shakes her pom poms in his face before leaning in and practically nuzzling her nose against his and yoongi sputters and laughs awkwardly before grabbing her waist and flipping her around because she’s getting wAY too close “and, uh, i can’t be the only one in saying our sex was pretty hot too” she winks

yoongi’s cheeks flush and he looks away

like yea they had a thing but that was a while ago that was like first year second year ish

and it was never really serious in the first place yoongi established that with her

so it’s just weird that out of nowhere she’s like yA let’s geT back toGether

no

jesus

he’s not doing that

lisa is really nice and chill (and c’mon he’s not going to lie she was pretty good at sucking dick aND she’s very flexible) but like

….thank u, next

“you know, i… you’re really nice! and you’re gorgeous, there’s no denying it - i just feel like… you know, i don’t wanna lead you on or anything like that because i’ve kinda got my eye on- and that time was like- it was just something casual, you know… i… would love to be friends, though! and you know what friends do?? they, uh… they play a round of basketball with each other? why don’t you give it a shot?” yoongi grabs a basketball and thrusts it towards lisa before she has the chance to step closer to him

yoongi turns and looks towards the door when he sees a flash of movement

hm

well

you are disappointed

to say the least

all these years spent pining after yoongi because you thought you had a sliver of a chance only to realise that nO you don’t actually have an ounce of a chance whatsoever

so that’s put you in a pretty bitter mood

and when you’re in a bitter mood

you shut people out

you shut down

you turn into a robot

“what’s the matter with you?” jungkook raises his brow when he notices you poking at your lunch

you have mac n cheese today and you usually go ham on the stuff but for the last three minutes you’ve been poking at the same macaroni noodle

“what makes you think something’s the matter?” you stab your fork into the noodles and the table shakes from how aggressive you did it

jungkook raises his hands in defense and pops a grape into his mouth

“you… excited for practice?”

“why would i be excited? all i am is the damn water girl.”

jungkook snorts and is like okay dang calm down u angry troll

you shove your tray away from you “you can eat it”

“what’s the matter with you?” jungkook asks again and you shake your head before pulling your laptop out

“i, uh….” just had my heart shattered into a million pieces because of (1) min yoongi? “i’m on my period”

jungkook’s eyes widen and he looks around nervously

“oh,.., um…, want me to buy you some timtams?”

“timta- …tampons?”

“…is that not what i said”

thank god you have jungkook

he always cheers you up somehow lmao

youuuuuuu wanna leave

you don’t wanna be here today

you just have no energy to do anything

you don’t want to talk to anyone

you don’t want to see anyone

you especially don’t wanna see a certain someone

you’re going through your checklist to see if you have everything you need and to see if you’ve done everything you need to do

pump up the basketballs? check

polished the floors? got it

washed out water barrel? mmhm

“hey, y/n!”

recycled the cups from last time? yeppers

“hm, hey” you hum nonchalantly and tick another box

you look back up

you jump in surprise and the moment you realise it’s yoongi you immediately back up and bump riGht into the stack of cups and knock them over and your pen and notebook fall to the floor

“oh- here, lemme help-“ yoongi bends down and helps you pick up a couple cups that are rolling away and you are trying noT to scream right now

“it’s okay, i got it!” you grab the cups from yoongi “at lisa i didn’t- at least- at least i didn’t knock over the barrel of wateR” you chuckle awkwardly and stack the cups back onto the bench

he picks up your notebook and pen and sets it down near your bag and looks at you weirdly

“are you ok-“

“sorry, i have to fill this up! it’s only half full and we can’t have that” you hoist the barrel off the bench and this thing is like 98% full of water but that just won’t do

yoongi scratches the back of his neck and watches as you hobble off with the barrel and he doesn’t get the chance to catch up to you and ask you if he did something wrong because he hears the blast of the whistle and the sound of runners squeaking against the linoleum floors

when yoongi comes over to get a cup of water from you during the break he’s insuLTed when you ask namjoon to pass him the cup of water

what the hell did he do????

was it because,,.., idk was it because he helped you pick up your cups?? maybe you have a weird superiority complex with the whole water girl position

you know what

it’ll be fine

maybe you’re just having an off day

yeah

you’ll be fine tomorrow

okay

long damn story short

you are not fine tomorrow

you are not fine on the next day

oR the next

OR THE N E   X T

yoongi literally has no idea what the hell he did wrong

now usually when he has girl problems like this he deals with it just fine

most of the time he ends up ignoring the girl back because he doesn’t have time in his busy schedule to worry about a girl

but you’re different

you’re y/n and he

frick

he reaLLY likes you and he thought you liked him back for a while but now that you’re acting like this he’s not too sure

you literally go ouT of your way to not bump into him and not talk to him and it sucks!!!

he saw you in the cafe when you were paying for your food and you sLAMMEd some bills down on the counter and literally sprinted out of the dining hall and the lady at the register was like miss u just gave me like $50 for an apple a water and a chicken sandwich

it’s even worse during practice

every time he comes near you you immediately get up and walk in the other direction or you go and talk to another guy and he doesn’t know what to do!!1/!/1/1/1/1/!

the most he got out of you was when you accidentally bumped into him and you gave him a very timid sorry before scurrying away

yoongi does noT have time to deal with this and he keep trying not to be bothered by it but sweetie he is Bothered with a capital fuckin B

he tries not to let the irritation show on his face when you’re laughing at something with the other guys (especially espECIALLY kihyun) and when you make eye contact with yoongi the smile drops from your face and you get all weird

and now

well

now he’s mad!!!!!! he’s mad because he didn’t do anything wrong and to be frank you’re kinda being a dick

if he did something to fuck up you should’ve called him out on it like he wanTs you to call him out on it

and before he knows it

it’s the day of the big game

and when we say big game we meaN Big Game

the boys have been practicing for this all season

they’ve worked their way up to the top to get here to compete with the jaguars (that’s the opposite team’s mascot it’s pretty fckin basic lmao)

yoongi lets out a sigh as he adjusts his bandana in the little mirror in his locker

there are about five minutes before the game starts

he’s already feeling the pressure

as the basketball captain he’s like the glue that bonds the team together

if he’s grumpy the whole ass team’s going to be grumpy and that would not be good for morale

so he’ll push you aside for now and just focus on basketball

because ball is life right now and that’s all that matters

after this game he can go up to you and be like wtf girl what’s wrong with you

just thinking about you is making him angry

yoongi lets out a sigh of exasperation and pushes a couple strands of hair out of his eyes

okay okay

big day big game

suck it up don’t think about y/n

no need to freak out

he’s super calm

he’s super chill

everything’s gon be alright

“oh, uh, sorry, jungkook asked me to get his lucky charm for him” you pop up in the mirror behind yoongi and he immediately slams his locker shut and whips around

“okay, what’s the big deal?”

“um, i…” you’re visibly taken aback and he sees you look towards the exit

“doN’T- i swear to god if you run away from me again i’m going to scream” yoongi snaps and furrows his brows when you avoid his gaze

oh for christ sakes

“just TELL ME what the fuCK i did wrong because i’m struggling to understand what the hell is going on with you!” yoongi groans in frustration “every time i walk near you you run away. every time i look at you you look away. every time i ask for water you get someone else to hand it to me. i’m frustrated and i don’t fucking understand what the hell i did and you are SO irritating let me tell you for the past two and a half weeks you’ve been driving me insane and i-“

you don’t let yoongi finish because now you’RE mad that hE’S mad

“it’s because we-“ you gesture to both you and yoongi “we aren’t a match, alright?! i was crazy for even thinking i had a shot with you and i just feel so stuPID for thinking the captain of the damn basketball team would go for the water girl instead of the head cheerleader loOK the point is we aren’t compatible and that’s just how it is!”

and there it is

everything spills out of you in thirty seconds

the thing that’s been bothering you for the last two weeks is now out in the open

it’s just hanging in the air

yoongi’s gaze softens

“you-“

“min! two minutes!” the both of you turn when you hear coach bang and yoongi curses to himself

he needs like five more minutes to explain to you why your logic is so dumb and aLSO he’s not interested in the head cheerleader he’s interested in yOU and you do YOU DO HAVE A SHOT WITH HIM but you’re so damn stubborn and-

“after this game, i’m gonna quit my job as the water girl because coach bang said i’ve gotten plenty of credits already and we’re probably never going to see each other again and that’s just the way that life is supposed to be like. all peace will be restored” you exclaim sarcastically

yoongi wants to scream whY ARE YOU BEING so diFFICULT right now

“for the love of god y/n everything that you just said literally doesn’t even mak-“

“min! out here, now!”

“come on, captain. you have a game to win and i have cups to fill.” you move past yoongi and before he has the chance to reach out and grab you you’ve already headed out to the court

yoongi groans in frustration and immediately punches into the lockers

and now there’s a goddamn knuckle mark in his locker

o UCH

the locks rattle against the metal and yoongi cradles his swollen knuckles before cursing to himself

yoongi heads out and joins the boys in a huddle

he gets a smack on the back of the head from coach bang for being a minute late

“i’ll see you boys out on the court. don’t let me down.”

“alright people hands in the middle” yoongi clears his throat and sticks his hand in the middle of the circle and everyone follows suit

“what the hell happened to your hand?” jimin points out and yoongi shakes his head and ignores him

his knuckles are raw and swollen and it lookin kinda nasty

“on the count of three - one, two three - go team!” the boys all grunt out the chant before splitting off and making their way to the entrance of the gym

the crowd bursts into cheers and applause when the boys enter the gym

from across the gym yoongi spots his mortal enemy taeyang

he’s the captain of the enemy basketball team and he’s the woRst

and of course when yoongi needs to focus the most he can’t focus at all because of Y O U

you grin and wave at jungkook when he catches you standing next to coach bang

you and yoongi lock gazes and your smile falters but you give him a thumbs up

god you feel awkward

why did you think it would be a good idea to say all that shit to yoongi

now he’s just going to think ur weird

good one water girl

meanwhile

yoongi canNOt get you off his mind

he literally just needs one minute to explain this mESS to you but obviously he can’t do that right now because the game’s about to start

and he can’t noT think about you when you’re standing right there with your adorable cardigan and your stupid endearing smile and-

yoongi jumps when he hears the blast of a whistle and he’s about to jump up to grab the ball but the next thing he knows the captain from the other team is whooshing past him dribbling the ball like a maniac

“min! what’s gotten into you?? focus!!!” he hears coach bang scold him and yoongi curses to himself before running after the ball

shit

he’s playing the biggest game of the season and he can barely focus

“fucking shit” yoongi groans when the ball plunKS off the backboard and right into the hands of an opposing player

“yoongi, c’mon man get your head in the game” hoseok hisses and whacks yoongi on the arm “you’re not our captain for nothing”

“yoongi, pass me the ball pass me the bALL WHAT R YOU-“ the referee blows the whistle and yoongi pauses and looks around like ??

taeyang grabs the ball from him with a smirk “you’re the basketball captain, aren’t you? don’t you know travelling with the ball is a big no-no?”

wait what

yoongi travelled????? hE TRAVELLED??? LIKE AN IDIOT

meanwhile coach bang is sitting next to you with his face in his hands

you reach over and pat his shoulder “it’s, uh, it’s not too bad, coach! we’re just a couple of points behind” like literally the boys just need like two shots and then they’ll be back on track

“i need a drink” coach bang mutters and you offer him a cup of icy cold water with a sheepish smile

he grabs it from you and chugs it down before letting out a sigh “that’s not strong enough”

“…it’s water”

okay

so

the game is going

well it’s going okay(?) ish

overtime the boys score a point the other team scores like four more points

poor yoongi is definitely ouT of it

he’s tripped over his feet a couple times

he didn’t catch the ball when hoseok passed it to him for free throw

you know it’s kind of your fault but you don’t really know what to do

“let’s go, kook” you watch as jungkook speeds across the court but at the last minute passes the ball to yoongi and- oH OW

you wince when yoongi’s suddenly shoved by an opposing player and he literally skiDs across the floor

the entire crowd groans because that definitely looked like it hurt

“oOh that looks like it hurts someone should go and help him” you nudge coach bang and he blinks owlishly at you

“y/n that’s your job”

OH right RIGht

the referee blows the whistle for foul play and you immediately rush over to yoongi with your little first aid kit fanny pack

“are you okay??” the first thing yoongi sees when he rolls over onto his back is your face hovering right above his along with his concerned looking teammates anD coach

yoongi sits up and rubs the side of his head

when he fell his head literally just whacked against the floor so that’s great

the room is definitely spinning right now

there are cartoon birds flying around his head

“ugh, i’m fine” yoongi mutters

“your knee is bleeding and your knuckles are-“

“i said i’m fine.” yoongi snaps and winces

he reaches up and pulls away to see some blood smeared on his fingers

“y/n, patch him up in the changing rooms.”

“i don’t need-“

“yes, you do. take a breather, and when you come back, hopefully you’ll actually be able to make a simple shot.” coach bang raises a brow and gestures for you to take him away

ok ouch

he CAN make a simple shot he’s just disTRACTED OKAY

“i should be out there playing with everyone.” yoongi sits down on the bench and you sigh and drop to your knees in front of him

“calm down mr athlete, i’ll get you out there so you can play the last round” you respond quietly, pressing a cotton pad soaked with hydrogen peroxide to his knee

yoongi jolts from the sting but relaxes a bit afterwards

you wipe up the blood and patch a bandaid over it

there’s obviously a bit of tension between the two of you but no one knows how to address it and bring it up  

you clear your throat before sitting up a little so that you’re face to face “look, i, uh, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have dumped all of that on you before the game but like i’m just a preTTY emotional person and i was feeling really mad and sad at you in that moment but u know what i don’t want there to be any bad blood between us because you’re super cool and i don’t want you to think that i’m insane i knoW i literally sound insane right now but the point it-“

“can you shut up for like thirty seconds?” yoongi cuts you off abruptly and you’re visibly taken aback

s coFF

rude,, but fair

you purse your lips and start to tend to the scrape on his cheek

“i like you.” he confesses boldly and you’re like o,,,oh “yeah, i like you. romantically. so how the hell do you think it makes me feel when you - out of noWhere - start to avoid me like the plague?? and after weEKS of avoiding me when i finally get the chance to talk to you you completely freAK out and start talking about how we’re not compatible and you start blurting out all this dumb shit and?? you didn’t even give me a damn chance to talk about my feelings and you didn’t give me the chance to ask you what the hell i did that made you act that way!!! it’s frustrating - you’re sO frustrating and it’s irritating me because usually when someone gets all weird on me i don’t mind like i honestly wouldn’t give a shit but i MINDED SO MUCH because it’s yOU and you’re y/n and you’re so sweet and funny and nice to everyone and i liKE YOU and i just don’t get it!!!!!”

“i, uh- okay.” you swallow and clear your throat

wha

is that aLL you have to SAY

yoongi’s going to give you a SECOND ANGRY RANT if that’s all you have to say jesus christ

“i think i- the thing is- okay i’ve just never felt this way about anyone before and it kinda freaked me out and then when the boys planted the idea of you liking me back in my head i immediately panicked and- look i saw you with lisa and i was just… i felt like i wasn’t good enough of you and… yeah. yeah.”

yoongi lets out a sigh

noW he knows why you were avoiding him like that

frickin finally

“lisa wanted to get back together, actually”

oh yikEs

you deflate a little

yoongi raises a brow at you “obviously it’s not going to happen, you dummy. she was getting all up in my face so i shoved a basketball into her hands to distract her.”

oh

“oh. cool. i knew that.” you mutter and wipe the dried blood off the side of his forehead before sticking a little bandaid there too “so is it… is it safe to come to the conclusion that we…”

“like each other?”

“like-like each other”

yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes playfully “yes. i like-like you and you like-like me. you like-like-like me”

you smooth the bandaid down and drop back down to lean against your heels

the two of you kinda just look at each other

it’s a nice moment of silence where the two of you are letting it sink in

ah yes

nice and calm

hoLY SHIT HE LIKES YOU BACK

YEEEASDSAJHDASKJDHSDJASHD HE LIKE S YOU BA ACK

yoongi smiles and leans down and riGHT before he gets to kiss you you raise your finger and press it against his lips

“you have a game to win.” you grin and get up off your knees and yoongi groans in frustration

“not even a good luck peck??” he pouts and grabs onto your wrist

“you don’t need the luck, but here-“ you bend down and give him a cute smooch on the cheek and yoongi already feels re-energized

yoongi grabs your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours as you guys make your way back to the court

you have to press your lips together to keep yourself from screeching

as soon as you guys get to the gym you let go of yoongi’s hand because if jungkook sees that he’S going to get distracted for sure

“alright coach, put me back in” yoongi taps coach bang on the shoulder and coach bang looks at him warily

yoongi’s smile drops from his face and he raises a brow “i promise- i pROMIse i am so much better”

coach bang looks over yoongi’s shoulder at you and you give him a confident thumbs up “he’s all patched up and good to go”

“one slip up and you’re getting benched.”

unsurprisingly

yoongi gets right back into it

travelling?? never heard of her

flawless jump shots? hook shots? bank shots? yoongi has them aLL in the bag

at one point yoongi dribbles past taeyang and manages to flip him off aND make a shot at the same time and taeyang’s standing there like what haPPENED

but you’re not going to lie

now you’re a little nervous

there are approximately ten seconds left of the game and the scores are tied

you’re standing there anxiously next to coach bang as you watch the clock tick down

oh no

oh fuck

they’re not going to make it they’re noT GOING TO MAKE IT

suddenly you see namjoon pass the ball to yoongi and yoongi ziPS across the court smoothly blocking and avoiding members of the opposite team

and it’s like everything happens in slow motion

yoongi tosses the ball

it hits the corner of the hoop

and spins around once

spins around twice

“c’mon, c’mon…” you mutter and bounce up and down on your feet

you immediately let out a screech of excitement when the ball swooshes into the hoop riGHT as the buzzer goes off

coach bang literally flings his clipboard up into the air and jumps up and down in excitement with you before he’s going over to join the boys

they’re all huddled up together and you laugh as you see them lift yoongi up into the air while yoongi clutches onto the trophy and plants a big fat kiss onto it

they let him down and they’re all fawning over the trophy

you grin when you see yoongi heading straight for you with a towel slung over his shoulder

“congratul-“ you don’t even get a chance to finish congratulating yoongi because the next thing you know he’s tugging you in for a kiss and

time seems to slow down

your eyes flutter shut and you grip a handful of yoongi’s jersey

you don’t even care that he’s sweaty and that his jersey is slightly damp because woWie he is definitely kissing u right now

eventually yoongi pulls away

“i like you - i like you so much and i don’t care if- if people think that water girls and basketball team captains aren’t meant to be together because i like you and that’s all that matters to me and-“ you lean up to give yoongi the smallest sweetest peck and his heart goes uwu when you nudge your nose against his

he blinks down at you owlishly and you smile like a damn fool

“i like you too” and you  say that with 120% confidence

“hYUNG we should knock you out more often if it gets you to play like thAT” jungkook grins and yoongi is like noOO no thank U

and then jungkook notices that yoongi… has his arms wrapped around your waist… and your arms… are hanging around his neckAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

his round eyes get wiDER and he literally goes like O o O and then O 0 O

“…does this mean i’m going to become a third wheel?”

thaT’s the first thing he’s asking about???

classic kook

“yoongi, kook! get your asses over here for a team picture!” namjoon calls out and you look over to see all the boys getting ready to pose for the picture

hoseok of course is in the middle clutching the trophy with a megawatt smile on his face

his smile is literally brighter than the trophy itself

you pull away from yoongi but the next thing you know he’s grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the boys

he turns to look at you with a smile “c’mon, water girl. you’re part of the team too.”

you can’t hide the big fat smile on your face

water girl

that’s who you are.

you understand why a lot of the girls are bitter and petty towards you

it’s because you’re surrounded by the cutest boys all the time

and you get to watch all of them work out in the gym

>:-)

boys will be boys

and boys like flexing and showing off to any and all girls

and so

“y/n! look! i can bench press 200!”

“y/n u wanna come watch me do bicep curls”

“Y/N U THINK I CAN THROW A DUMBBELL INTO THE AIR DO A FLIP AND THEN CATCH IT WITH ONE HAND”

…that one was kook obviously

and you usEd to give everyone an equal amount of attention

but things r a little different now

juSt a little bit

“i’m supposed to be studying right now” you giggle when yoongi bends down and gives you another kiss

somehow he convinced you it would be a good idea to lie underneath him while he’s doing push ups

he said it’d give him motivation and u know what

you will gladly take all opportunities given to u to kiss ur boyfriend

“you can study after i’m done”

“how many push- *kiss* -ups until you’re- *kiss* -done??”

yoongi pauses and holds himself up over you as he thinks about it

“i usually do like 100 pushups and we’re only at… 20”

that’s a lie yoongi’s already done like 60 pushups but

:::)))

“oH my god you guys are so gross”

“go make out in the changing rooms or something!!!”

“Y/N DO U THINK I CAN SET THE TREADMILL TO THE FASTEST SPEED AND RUN ON IT WITHOUT FALLING”

ya

so things are only a LITTLe different

your obsession with yoongi’s hands and fingers

you now have a reason as to why you’re obsessed with them

you don’t know how long the two of you have been going at it but all you know is that goddAMN yoongi is SO good with his fingers

“oh god” you whimper and arch your back against the mattress

yoongi pops his head up from in between your legs “that’s not my name but the praise is appreciated”

“s-shut up” you snort and it’s interrupted by a moan because the tips of his fingers brush over that spot and you immediately twitch

“mm, does that feel good? right there?” yoongi smirks and presses a gentle kiss to your inner thigh and you moan when you feel his thumb starting to circle over your clit

yoongi slows down purposely and relishes in the way your arousal covers his fingers

and yeah he said he wasn’t going to do anything else besides fingers (even tho u were clearly fine with him using his m o u t h if he wanted to but he didn’t want to overwhelm you because this is the first time u guys are doing things like this) but now he’s kinda feeling like he wants to do more than fingers

…

yoongi’s never been great at keeping promises so

“”oH mY God” you shoot straight up from the bed and immediately tangle your fingers into yoongi’s hair when he out of noWhere buries his face in between your legs

he clamps your thighs down when they threaten to close around him and snap his neck off and he’s sure he’s going to leave bruises on you but he’ll make up for it (and honestly u don’t mind because him marking u up like this is rly hot)

he starts moving with precision and you feel his tongue flick up and down against your clit and you are noT going to last long at all

“yoongi,” you choke out and your hips instinctively start grinding against his face “yoongi i think i’m gonna-“ you can’t even get a coherent sentence out because that’s how overwhelmed you are

“c’mon, baby - i’ve got you, you can cum” yoongi murmurs against your core and god his voice is dangerously low and raspy and that is your K I N K

he wraps an arm around your thigh before yanking you down the bed and pulling you closer to his mouth

the vibrations from his mouth are the last thing you feel before your orgasm hitS you like a ton of bricks

you cry out in pleasure and feel tingles up and down your spine and yoongi pins your hips down to the bed

for a couple seconds you’re pretty sure you black out

you pant and look up at the ceiling

welp

you are a changed woman because of min yoongi’s fingers and mouth

yoongi wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and smiles cockily up at you “i’m keeping these, by the way” he twirls your panties around his finger before shoving it into his back pocket

yoongi crawls up onto the bed and on top of you

“what’s the matter?” he coos and gives you a sweet kiss and you immediately whine and attempt to flip over and yoongi sees your cheeks flush even moRe “getting all shy on me, hm?” he grins and rolls off of you but at the last minute grabs your hips and pulls you on top of him

you mumble something while looking down at your hands that are resting on yoongi’s tummy

“what was that? didn’t catch that, jagi”

you clear your throat and yoongi’s eyes widen when you hook a finger on the waistband of his shorts

“i said i wanna make u feel good too” you murmur and look at him with your doe eyes and hoW can he say no to that face r u kidding me

spoiler alert: you too are very good with your hands and mouth

you like to think that an important stepping stone in your relationship with yoongi was when he did a body shot on you

well

okay it wasn’t a legit body shot because all you did was hold a lime up for him

but since then you’ve become a little more daring

which is how you find yourself with your tank top lifted up to expose your stomach staring up at the ceiling while jimin sprinkles a circle of salt above your belly button

you snort when jimin suddenly pops up above you with his cheesy grin wiggling a wedge of lime above your face

“this goes in your mouth this time” you hum and open your mouth up and jimin places it down gently “aLRIGHT let’s get this show on the road do we have anyone for water gir-“

“don’t even try it, park” you grin when you hear yoongi cut him off and then you feel familiar hands gripping your thighs apart and pulling you down the counter a little so that you’re pressed flush against your boyfriend  

jeez louise yoongi save it for laTER

you giggle when yoongi gives your outer thighs a little squeeze of acknowledgement

“alright, on the count of three! one, two, three-!” not even half a second later you feel yoongi’s tongue lick up against your stomach and you arch your back instinctively but he flattens his hand against you to push you back down

you get a brief glance of yoongi downing a shot before he’s tossing the shot glass aside and leaning down and taking the lime from you

he sucks on it for like a second before spitting it aside and smooshing his lips against yours

for a second you forget that the two of you are surrounded by other people and you instinctively kiss him back and open up when you feel his tongue prodding against your lips

your arms slither to wrap around his neck and your fingers find themselves getting tangled in yoongi’s locks

“THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND U PERV” yoongi starts getting swatted by kook and he immediately pulls away and raises his hands in defence “listen cap if ur going to take her to pound town at least wait til i’m not in the same house as her”

“jungKOOK” you groan

the second hand embarrassment is real

you’ve been spending a lot of nights at yoongi’s place recently because,,, duh

this benefits the both of u because his apartment is bigger than yours and his bed is comfier than yours and he gets to get you all to himself 24/7

yoongi rubs his eyes sleepily and his arm flops down next to him

he looks over

huh

you’re not there

he sits up quickly and furrows his brows

did you leave without telling him?

:(

oh wait

he spots your clothes neatly folded up and sitting on the chair and your phone is plugged into a charger

okay it’s fine no problem

yoongi hops outta bed and stretches his limbs out

he catches a glimpse of his bare back in the mirror and can’t help but smirk at the pinkish scratches down his back

he gives himself a mental pat on the back

he wanders into the kitchen

and the first thing he sees is you fiddling with the waffle iron dressed in nothing but hiS jersey and a pair of very cheeky panties

“hey you really need to clean this thing out like i see crumbs and dried batter and honestly it’s kind of nasty and i was really craving some waff- hEY” yoongi sweeps you off your feet and flings you over his shoulder before giving your bum a smack “yoongi!”

“we’ll make waffles afTERwards”

he can’t control himself

“after whAT??” yoongi practically yEETs you onto the mattress before grabbing your ankles and tugging you down a bit

“after wha- oh you knoW what”

you can’t help but giggle before yoongi’s smooshing his lips against yours “you really think you can walk around my apartment wearing this and expect me to do nothing about it?” yoongi purrs and pins your wrists above your head and you instinctively arch your back when he starts pressing kisses from your neck and then down your chest

he lets go of your wrists before moving over to sit against the headboard

you look at him like hey where u goin and he pats his lap “c’mere, pretty girl”

yoongi can’t help but grope your bum as you settle on his lap with your legs on either side of him

yoongi gives you a warning look when you bend down and teasingly brush your lips over his and you grin before leaning down and giving him a proper kiss

he wraps an arm around your waist and your body curves against him sO perfectly it’s insane

yoongi licks over your bottom lip and slips his tongue into your mouth when you moan quietly at the feeling of yoongi pressing himself right up against you

you roll down against his thigh and let out a whimper

when you go to take the jersey off yoongi grabs your wrist and stops you

“keep it on” he breathes out and you see the way his eyes are blown out

“k-keep it on?” you raise a brow and gasp when yoongi rolls his hips up into yours

“yeah, keep it on” yoongi pinches your chin in between his fingers and brings you down towards him for a kiss

holy shit

this is the best day of yoongi’s life

“a-aH, yoongi!” you’re riding him like your life depends on it and you’ve never looked hotter

yoongi growls and digs his fingers into your hips

yoongi’s jersey is sliding off your shoulder and your head is thrown back exposing your neck and exposing all the bites and marks that yoongi’s given you and jeSus he’s literally about to cum and he usually takes a hell lot longer than this to cum

“look at you, so eager for my cock” yoongi purrs and grabs a handful of your ass before giving you a pert smack “how badly do you need to cum, hm?” he’s honestly struggling to keep it together but one thing he knows for sure is that you have to cum before him

“s-so bad, soOo bad please yoongi” you gasp and yoongi takes that opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth

yoongi’s already gotten two orgasms out of you so spiralling into a third one doesn’t take much effort

yoongi pulls away and looks down at where the two of you are connected and grunts when he feels himself getting closer to the edge as well

you convulse under the intensity of your orgasm and yoongi continues to move you up and down as he chases his own orgasm

“oh, fuck” yoongi curses as he feels you clench around him and he bites down on your shoulder

it only takes a couple more thrusts until yoongi’s reaching his own orgasm and lets out a cathartic groan

you feel his grip loosen on your hips and you bend down to rest your forehead on his shoulder as he rubs small circles on your back under the jersey

“…now i need to wash your damn jersey again”

“that sounds like a you problem”

you think the rest of the guys on the team are all super great

but sometimes

they take it a little too far

“oh my god, yoongi, harder, harder please-“ you whimper against yoongi’s mouth and his grip under your thighs tighten as he starts thrusting into you significantly harder

you had finished some of your water gal duties early and yoongi convinced you to come and take a shower with him because “you deserve a break too!!!”

and you told him nO funny business while we shower and he was all like ya babe for sure no funny business

next thing you know yoongi has you pinned up against the wall with his hands gripping you under your thighs and your legs wrapped around his waist and he is fucking you like there’s no tomorrow

you push some of yoongi’s hair back as he tucks his face into your neck and starts sucking marks on your skin “gonna cum for me, jagi?”

“yesyesyES” you gasp and your toes curl when he hits your g-spot and you immediately clench around him

fuck you’re so close

deciding to take a shower with your boyfriend was so worth it

and the two of you are like [this] close to reaching euphoria and all of a sudden

“rAAAAA” the shower curtain gets whiPPED to the side and you let out a scream because like haLF THE TEAM IS STANDING THERE

“oH my fuckin- can you pervs get the hell outta here??” yoongi growls and shields as much of you as he possibly can and you squeak in surprise because you are nAKED RIghT NOW

“hoseok you owE me a week’s worth of lunch i told you they were fucking in here”

“jungkook was the one who mislead me and said y/n was only in here to get our uniform!!!!!”

you snort and tuck your face into the crook of yoongi’s neck when the rest of the boys start whOoPing and wolf-whistling

you’re fine because yoongi has you completely covered but yoongi’s ass is definitely on display

you clutch your fingers around his shoulders and let out a gasp when he bounces you up a little to adjust you because you’re sliding down the damn wall

“oh eW YOU’RE STILL INSIDE OF HER” jimin groans and makes a face and yoongi’s like YA BITCH THAT’S HOW SEX WORKS U FCKIN MORON

“you guys need to learn how to keep it down if doing it in the showers is going to become a regular thing”

“ah, yoongi, harder!” jungkook mocks in a much higher pitched voice and you resist the urge to hurl the bottle of shampoo at him

eventually they leave and close the shower curtain again and yoongi sighs and leans his forehead against yours

you crinkle your nose “call me crazy but i think that kinda killed the mood”

yoongi groans and pulls out of you before letting you back down onto your feet

he was literally about to Bust The Fattest Nut and they TOOK THAT AWAY from him

“i’m gonna kill them”

yoongi’s figured it out

a reason why the two of you didn’t get together sooner is because you are literally the most oblivious person in the entire world

someone could make a neon sigh that said Y/N I’M INTERESTED IN YOU and you’d just blink past it

also

yoongi likes most of the guys on the team they’re all super chill

it’s just that some of them push his buttons more than others

for example

yoo kihyun

great defender and all that ya he’s a good team player

but he hAs to be the fuckboi of the century and that’s rich coming from yoongi

kihyun fully knows that you and yoongi are together but does he care?? nope

yoongi looks past jungkook’s shoulder at you and kihyun

jungkook’s talking to yoongi about how to do a bank shot but yoongi is very obviously not listening to him and is very obviously distracted

he can’t hear you or kihyun because he don’t got supersonic hearing but by kihyun’s body language he knows exactly what’s going on

“you look great in this shirt, y/n” kihyun reaches over and tugs on the sleeve and you grin before looking down at it

you don’t notice when he takes a step closer to you

“thank you! it’s actually one of yoongi’s shirts so it’s a little big but i think it’s cute-” you hum and look down at the faded print on the front of the shirt

“kook - i will be right back buddy” yoongi pats jungkook’s shoulder and moves past him

the anger is practically radiating off of him in waves

“-and also it smells like him!”

kihyun pauses but that doesn’t deter him

“and as great as it looks on you, i think it’d look a hell of a lot better on my bedroom floo-“

“hi, baby” you jump when yoongi suddenly pops up behind you and you turn around to glance at him

“hi yoo- mmph-!” all of a sudden yoongi yanks you in for a veRy heated kiss

he turns you around and wraps an arm around your waist and then he’s grabbing your arm and forcing it around his neck

“what’s gotten into you?”

“hush” yoongi breathes out and plants his lips against yours again and practically forces his tongue into your mouth and you’re like !!!!!!!!!

you’re dazed when he pulls away and flips you back around so you’re facing kihyun

“you may proceed” yoongi smacks your ass before he jogs back to jungkook and kihyun’s kinda standing there like,,,, uh,,,.,.,. i’m just gonna,,,., practice my dribbling or something

you give yoongi a glare and he blows u a kiss

classic

[theteaisaddictive]

It just hit me in a flash that i never asked for your thoughts/rankings of the Cats 2019 soundtrack. Please forgive my ignorance and bestow the gift of your wisdom upon us

i have been caught in a whirlwind of events, which is why i have not responded sooner, but i’m currently home sick so what better excuse is there to wax evangelical (evan . . . jellicle??) about the cats movie soundtrack than this precise moment

i. jellicle songs for jellicle cats

i mean. well. first things first, it was recorded in advance (i assume that the 90s version was a live recording, but i could be wrong here) so of course it is going to sound awkward and stilted. this is nothing compared to how awkward and unnatural it is to see a bunch of actors naked save for cgi fur and ken-doll-like crotches singing and . . . uh, i think they’re dancing? -- around the white cat victoria, who did not have nearly so big a part from what i can digest of the 90s youtube clips. my favourite part has to be the fucking techno beat though. god damn. party on, you funky little abominations.

ii. the naming of cats/the invitation to the jellicle ball

yes, i will be smushing the exposition-related songs together unless i feel like separating them. this is my life, these are my choices. idk, it was fine?? i guess? munkustrap (aka The Main Cat Who Isn’t Victoria or Judi Dench and Quite Frankly Deserved Better Because He Was Giving This Performance His All) kind of just says the naming instead of it being a company-wide thing. they did not include bombalurina or demeter’s names in the naming, and this was the point at which i realised that the big name stars were not, in fact, going to lounge around in the background for the entirety of the play like they do in the musical. :(

the invitation also sees my Sweet Boy mr mistoffelees get his first solo line, which is good bc i fell in love with his sweet little face over the course of the film, and bad bc it marks the start of the absurd victoria/mr mistoffelees subplot which i am convinced was put in because of course a plotless weirdmageddon like cats needs a romantic subplot

iii. the old gumbie cat

something that needs mentioning is that idris elba shows up as macavity at various points in-between songs. i’m pretty sure he shows up for the first time here and like, tries to lure victoria away?? i think?? anyway it obviously does not work bc unfortunately we are stuck with victoria for the entire film, so onto the gumbie cat song we go.

what can i say about the rebel wilson song that hasn’t already been said. she unzips her skin. the cockroaches are uncanny in the extreme. there are slater-sized mice played by children. there is no funky tap routine, or if there is it was erased from my mind by the frequent awkward gaps in which rebel wilson attempted to be funny. dear god. 

iv. the rum tum tugger

miiiiilllllkk

ok, ok, fine. jason derulo gave a fun, lively performance and didn’t even have the decency to do a bad english accent, which means there is at least one song which i have to genuinely like and can’t just like ironically. but also miiiiillllkkk why is there a milk bar in london which is perfectly cat-sized whyyyy. 

v. grizabella

i am going to be honest. i think that this song appeared later in the movie, but the soundtrack only lists ‘highlights’ so it doesn’t appear in the track list. idk what to say. there are some girl cats (unnamed, although i think they have names in the stage version) who are mean to grizabella and then they say that she started working for macavity?? i’m not sure if this does or does not imply that he became her pimp, although he certainly has the coat and hat for it, which only raises more questions which i dare not put voice to.

vi. bustopher jones

fuck james corden. what the fuck did he do to the refined, fat old cat who frequents gentleman’s clubs and only dines on the finest stuff?? he made him dig around in the rubbish bins and interrupt the song twice to make ‘jokes’ about how fat he is. god i cannot fuckign stand james corden and i do not think he’s funny so i’m aware i may be biased but still. god. 

oh yes and then at the end macavity lures him over to a giant bin (in full view of the other cats, might i add) and thanos snaps him out of existence, but sadly not out of the movie. rebel wilson also got thanos-snapped earlier i just forgot to mention it.

vii. mungojerrie and rumpleteazer

i understand that this melody is the original melody and that the melody used in the 90s recording was a change made for broadway; however, this was the most boring fucking song in the movie and they should have used the broadway version, good night. also victoria is there while they burgle the house, for some reason, bc having an audience surrogate means she needs to be in Every Fucking Scene, so that was a Choice.

viii. old deuteronomy

a nice, sweet song introducing judi dench, sung by munkustrap in such a manner that i began to wonder if he was like, her boytoy or something. also the nuzzling is, like, out of control. i know there’s nuzzling in the stage version, but onstage they're also all crawling around on all fours and stuff whereas here they’re bipedal most of the time. it makes it look like everyone is constantly going in for a kiss when they’re actually just being sociable, and it is fucking disorienting.

ix. the jellicle ball

by the way, the jellicle ball itself takes place in some sort of cat-friendly dilapidated theatre, and it is both the weirdest and least weird thing about this whole movie. 

idk, it was fine?? oh wait, i actually forgot -- so waaaaay back at the start, victoria has a famous solo which wasn’t actually a solo in this version but danced with munkustrap, which . . . .was a Choice. so now she dances with like five different male cats, and it gets frantic, and Every Single Cat is just tearing it up on the dance floor, seriously the dancers in this are incredible, and then i think they all collapse on the floor in a heap, and it was at this point that i learned to be thankful i was not subjected to watching a cgi cat orgy while sitting next to my horrified sister

x. grizabella the glamour cat/memory (prelude)

like i said, i can’t remember what order this happens on the movie, so i’m taking the tracklist from the olc on genius. anyway victoria sneaks out for . . . reasons, and she sees grizabella. and grizabella is sad, and sings her song in the first person, because demeter got cut, because fuck demeter, i guess. oh yeah, and tom hooper, he of the masterful subtlety, had jennifer hudson sitting at a lamppost with withered leaves collected at her feet which she pointed to at the relevant lines. i’m surprised he didn’t add a sound effect of a moaning wind.

xi. beautiful ghosts

this was the song that taylor swift wrote for the movie and by god can you tell. it is incredibly jarring and serves no purpose (beyond, i guess, the purpose of deepening the nothing character of victoria), and -- ugh. look, it’s a pretty little song, and both victoria and taylor swift sing it well, but it’s thoroughly unnecessary. it’s like ‘suddenly’ in 2012 les mis -- why is this here??

xii. gus the theatre cat

i am not ashamed to admit that ian mckellen ‘singing’ gus the theatre cat was enough to bring a tear to my eye. because, well. the man may not have sung, but by god he acted. i challenge anyone with a heart to sit through all of cats and not even feel the slightest tug at their heartstrings when gus’s song plays. not even judi dench lifting one leg in appreciation could completely break the mood. oh wait. it did. (also gus got thanos-snapped by macavity immediately after exiting the stage)

xiii. skimbleshanks the railway cat

oooooh fuck YESSSSSS this is the single best song in the whole damn film. skimbleshanks himself?? wonderful. iconic. beautiful. his tap routine?? inspired. he’s skimbleshanks the railway cat -- the cat on the railway train! he inexplicably is wearing red dungarees, making him the fourth cat to be wearing clothes for no reason, and at the very end he spins like a top all the way into the air, before being thanes-snapped out of existence (but happily, not out of the movie) by.....

xiv. macavity the mystery cat

taylor swift is there. she’s undressed except for her cgi fur and a pair of stage heels. she starts tapping her little container of catnip over the collective of cats, causing munkustrap to make the sort of face you see reeve!superman make when he’s being poisoned by kryptonite, except that he is a cat being drugged with catnip and it is hard to take him seriously as a result. the song itself is a perfect guilty pleasure. taylor swift’s accent is shitty enough that you can enjoy the ridiculousness of the entire situation. idris elba cuts in to join the final chorus on ‘the Napoleon of criiiiiimmme’ and then he takes off his pimp coat and is . . . distressingly nude for the rest of the film. he dances briefly with taylor swift. it’s a thing.

anyway they thanos-snap judi dench to a boat on the thames bc she won’t let him go to cat heaven and the rest of the cats are left discombobulated. this is when Local Sadboy mr mistoffelees is uh, peer-pressured into attempting to magic judi dench back to the cats. bc mr mistoffelees has an arc now, you guys. and his arc?? is about getting his mojo back.

xv. mister mistoffelees

this song is also sung in first person by mistoffelees, which makes less sense when you get to the second verse, but whatever the movie only has about twenty minutes left let's just do it. it’s a solid song, but they keep pausing after every chorus to see if he can get judi dench back yet, which really dampens the groove that they have going on. anyway, they get her back, mr mistoffelees believes in himself now, yadda yadda yadda. meawhile back on the boat, this dickhead apparently didn’t bother to teleport the other cats back, so they fight their way out and rebel willson unzips her skin again. at this point in the cinema i was praying for mercy.

xvi. memory

memory was a song. it was clearly sung with a lot of emotion. for me, personally?? that emotion did not connect. sorry jennifer hudson. oh yeah also victoria has a verse in this song and i mentally wanted to s c r e am because this is not your fucking moment victoria, let the sad jennifer hudson cat belt her lungs out in peace

xvii. the ad-dressing of cats

god. let it end. let it end. this last ‘song’ was dragged out minute after minute after minute. judi dench looked into my very soul when she told me a cat was not a dog, and i still don’t know what she found there. when she started talking about cream and pie i could see munkustrap, he of the Giving This Performance His All, continue his impeccable acting by making faces of delight at her words. oh, munkustrap. even now, at the very end, you brought me joy. thank you, dear cat. thank you. 

[lairofsentinel]

I’ve finished this terrible game called Greed_fall. Really...

Spoilers ahead, and really a big amount of “negativity” [aka criticism] about this game.

I can’t believe it’s the same company that did The Technomancer. I mean, sure, no game is perfect. But, to begin with, this one is sold as RPG when you have no fucking way to decide if you want to massacre natives or colonialists, or like, for example, spit and punch the man who never told you that you were a kidnapped child of natives that European colonialists took and raised as their own.  That’s a terrible wound in History. It even had contemporaneous versions not long ago [for example, the Condor plan], and this game did not even give you the option to punch the man or simply not forgive him?. Because without being able to choose anything, your char not only is not angry with that fucker, but they THANK him for telling them the truth 25 years later. Ah. But the man “loved your mother”. A fucking asshole kept the identity of a native child for 25 years simply because... he loved her. Ugh. 

I'll try to be short, and concise. I truly don't want to waste more time in this fucked up game:

The Natives:

The first ones you meet during the first 10 hours are basically depicted as childish creatures that know nothing, and they need of the colonialists to “learn”. Somehow, that was getting a bit more complex along the game, and you see few tribes that are angry at the ravishing of their lands. But still yet, they are depicted as “too aggressive” most of the time. As if they had not enough causes to want to attack the colonialists.

Suddenly, by the second half of the game, the natives realise they have power and knowledge by their own which is even more valuable that all the bullshit that Europeans bring. So, they have this stupid revelation that they know a lot that colonialists don't. You feel the natives so vague and lack of self sense.

Some other natives seems to me like CEOs, that suddenly, are too worried about market and commerce with the colonialists. Like... seriously?. Capitalist Natives just right there, after 15 years of colonialism fucking their lands?? Meh.

As a personal opinion, I hate the repetition of the concept of natives as “tribes” that live in a “small rudimentary village”, in comparison with the complexity that “European architecture/society” shows. Like... they only keep using the concept of the most nomad natives, they don't fucking show a complex society with science and art development beyond the European, when you have a super close example with the Aztec Imperium. They had advanced and successful surgical interventions of the brain and deep understanding of Astronomy while Europe was dying because they didn't want to bath daily and kept burning their astronomers. But ok, that's my personal annoyance toward every game where natives are shown.

European architecture, is the only one.

This comes long the same mood that Spider showed with the natives: “I don't give a fuck”-mood. You have the Bridge Alliance, who are basically the “Muslims” in the old Europe, the ones with true knowledge and “turbans”. I was expecting to see “Muslim” architecture. You know, mosque-like? [I'm not even asking them to have extreme History accuracy, but hell, give me something that make me believe it's true that there are 2 factions here] But no. You see some fences and some random arithmetical design here and there, 3 big carpets in the palace, but the rest of the houses and the palace itself are all European-like. I mean... if you are doing a game which scenery is so elaborated, you can't be lazy about designing 3 types of architecture, since you are basing your fuckign game on Europeans, Muslims, and Natives. Natives have the most rudimentary design because “natives”. They are all about big houses with just a bonfire in the middle. Sure, I know, native groups in the old Europe and Britain used to have that kind of architecture. Celtic-like. I'm complaining because I would like to see, for once in my life, a native culture which is shown as an imperium. But whatever. The Muslim architecture is such a lazy development here.

Petrus:

This is probably the highest point of fuckery. The man [a religious one] “took care” of the main character's mother, a kidnapped pregnant woman, because “she was the only woman he loved” [this game is ALWAYS about the colonialists and their feelings and their problems. European problems= MAIN quest, native problems= side quests]. Her husband was killed trying to rescue her [aka colonialists killed him], and she was sent to the continent, because she was... “marvellous” [this game has the most sickly arguments I've seen in a long while]. She gave birth to the protagonist of the game in one of the Naut's ships. She remained in captivity, and asked Petrus [ the man who was supposed to love her] to kill her, because she could not resist that life. He didn't do it, because “love”. And now, the whole quest is about how guilty Petrus is about that, and about the slight tiny detail of having kept secret that the protagonist's origin is native.

And as if all this was not sufficient, this “RPG” game doesn't allow you to NOT forgive him, to spit him, to do something out of anger. No. The whole quest continues with the protagonist thanking Petrus for “telling him the truth 25 years later”. This is terrible. The problem here is not Petrus being an asshole, is the game giving you no options to have another reaction but thanking him.

Romance:

Yeah, yeah, we have crappy romances. For a game which claimed to be based on DAO, didn't learn a shit about development of chars and their relationship with the protagonist. You have 5 characters that interact very little with the protagonist or among them [banter? What's that?. DOS2 has no banter, but at least you have a lot of personal conversation with the chars, and they intervene in the quests and give their opinions], and the peak of laziness was when I saw the “romantic” scene of all of them. ALL, ALL romantic scene are a copy-paste of the ones in Technomancer. The worst is Vasco/Siora. They are in the place of Andrew, from Technomancer. They did not even change the angle of the camera. I dislike this so much because that scene was meant to be related to Andrew. The man had a prosthetic arm, so that's why the main char looks at his hand, as a gesture of acceptance. In Vasco/Siora's case is so out of sense. Looking at that hand like “did you wash them? I don't want fish/soil in my thingie”.

And again... beyond the stupid romance, the development of relationships is so weak. I would not complain if they were not claiming they based this game in DAO. Lol. You can't even speak about the main quests with them. They have nothing to say. Nothing.

Pace:

This is probably a result of the whole mess of the many irritating things I've been seeing in the game, but it was incredible boring and slow. The dialogues are wrongly done. Every time you meet a new char, the protagonist explains everything. Again. It's not needed. The player already knows that, since you repeated that 53 times!.

The endings And the endings... hell. I can’t even know where to start. Basically... you can destroy the whole natives and the isle included, just because you want to save your cousin—son of an European colonialist, with a lot of daddy issues—. Again, the whole game is highly focused on European pain and feelings. It seems we should feel pity for his useless ass, and understand him when he decided he wants to be a new god, consume the native god, and decide “what’s better for the rest of the world”. Most colonialist ending you can't have.

Thankfully, our fave “RPG” game gives us a loooot of options to end the game: 2. Kill him or join him.

If you kill him, you have four “branches” of endings. In two, you are trying to find “balance” between colonialist and natives, and one ending about natives tired as fuck of the European shit repel the colonialists from their isle and let them fuck off with the Malinchor, since the only thing they can do is drain and consume everything.

Of course, this ending is “bad” too. You can't let the native decide by themselves. That's “bad”.

In fact, to end the game, you need to meddle in native politics. Like, you have to choose who will be High King of the natives. Look at that!. Your parents must be native, but you were raised as another colonist.... who has the power to intervene in native decision. The imbalance of power and fuckery here is... big. And I'm not counting on all the killing and destruction of native “sacred” places you had to do to reach this [the amount of guardians killed without other option to evade them annoyed me as hell, what kind of balance you speak of if you destroy everything at your wake?].

The “better” world ending, is a world of “balance”, in which colonialist and natives “learn from each other”. Which seems more or less ok... but again, colonialists owning their own shit? Never. And again... why our protagonist should speak about balance when they did disasters to reach the end of the game?. 

This is a game where you truly can play and let free your “white saviour complex”, because you can tell me all what you want about the protagonist being a “native”, but they only knows about that by the end of the game... their mind and behaviour and purposes has always been super colonialists, without chances to choose to fuck off Theleme and all the other factions out of rage. This is the most gratuitous plot you get from Spider to “cover” their asses about any critic of “but a colonialist had been deciding over natives all the fucking game”. And you know what, you did. It doesn’t matter if the char has native parents. They are the embodiment of colonialism to the end of the game. 

The only “bad” ending in which Colonialists are repeled, you have to feel sorry, because “bad natives allowed the continent to be decimated by the Malinchor”. Sure, because colonialist presence in the Isle was not like a “Malinchor”?.Ugh. Honestly, super infuriating game. 

But, by far, the ending of the Cousin becoming, alongside with you, “new gods”, destroying the native root.... was so fucked up....but well, at least it's an option. Probably the only relevant option this “RPG” gave us.

I was so sick about all this game, that I just wanted to have an ending of becoming a Naut [after all, the protagonist is a sea-born] and go fuck the old world and these terrible depicted natives. Of course, this “wonderful RPG” never gives you a relevant option like that.

Less troublesome things: “open world” that  only allows paths.

This is something inherited by Technomancer. You waste HOURS running from a point to another because this apparent “open world”, is  just a bunch of mazes/tunnels, and you can't jump or descend by places that look like accessible just because they decided their “RPG open world” has to be a lineal game with a clear path to follow. The teleportation points are not enough, since you always need to run minutes and minutes to reach ones of these. This is of big importance since the game is full of stupid Quests of “go speak with A, bring me their answers. Go back again, etc, etc”. This had been a big criticism in Technomancer. They did not learn about it.

Less troublesome things: combat

Another issue inherited by Technomancer. It's quite common to get stuck in some texture in middle of a big boss, or the dodge has a weird lag, or chars are too slow in general. This exact problem was a big issue during the first encounter of Technomancer, turning it into a nightmare. It keeps being the same more or less.

Honestly, this game has several levels of wrongness in terms of plot [I dont even care about the bugs, about the waste of time running, or the stupid quests of being a silly errand boy, or the combat—though, more often than not it enrages you--. But the plot was a big pain. Like... really... guys, you did Technomancer! Bound by Flame, Of Orc and men, Styx, even Grey Matter [I didn’t play it, but I was told it was interesting and with a lot of progressive stuff]... what the fuck happened here?. Sure, none of all those games are spotless, but at least they felt more RPG than this one!. You could be a bit asshole, a diplomat, or an evil char.  

I think they put all their resources in scenery in Greedfall. Because, yeah, it’s beautiful. Probably the only good thing in this game [even though it has this shit about paths that make you waste a lot of time].

A lot of people also highlight about the presence of poc chars everywhere. I didn’t notice this “everywhere”. You have white natives and black people among the colonialists, true. Which seems a bit ok, but to me it felts as the free pass for Spider to do all the fuckery in the game XD “hey, we all have colonialist mindsets, but hey... black people fucking native ones! no side is right! yay, we are mind-blowing you! XD”. 

Probably I have to mention that one of the few things that are good in the game is Aphra. Because you never see black/brown scholars in games, and she gave me, for few seconds, some relief of all this mess in this game.  However, the way she forces others to teach her... is quite questionable. As I said before, “yay, black people on the colonialist side, they can fuck natives like History white people did! We are progressive! this game is so gray-mind-blowing :D yay”.

Truth be told, not a recommendable game. If you want a more decent RPG compared with this one, of the same company, go get Technomancer.

[scarletrebel]

⭐star⭐ waffle at me about your favourite lines youve written

ohhh friend you have opened a pandoras box and i hope you are ready also thank you aha

so i started…….. picking some lines and made the Executive Decision to just do one fic because i was planning on doing a couple from a handful of fics but turns out im far too prone to waffling about this kind of stuff because i love picking things apart and figuring out why they work because i love fuckign words and the things they evoke and stuff so yeah this is just some fave lines from most recent fic, requital. 

this was part of a ‘directors cut’ writer thing and if anyone has any more prompts, feel more than free to send them my way! 

Requital, Chp. 1: 

His honesty, wrapped tightly underneath a chivalrous act; a throwaway comment to soften the exposure of such a question, draws her closer.

She kisses him, and hopes that even though the motion is countless in the amount of times they’ve come together, that the answer is plain enough. A claim, she hears her own words in her head, tasting the tobacco of his morning cigarette on her tongue, the warmth of the pull at his hands on her hips.

so whilst i cant say this section was directly inspired by the ecdysis book, what i can say is that there is definitely some influence going on here, in particular these two lines from the page ‘synesthesia’:

“Wu Ming is a bonfire in the darkness, and she crawls toward his warmth.”

“Wu Ming leaves his questions by the wayside as he is drawn inexorably into the gravity well of her desperate honesty.” 

and thats not something i realised until i was writing the final draft, and im pretty pleased with myself considering not only is requital going to examine some of the similarities between avia and drifter, but also the fact that ecdysis is probably my favourite book. i mean…… ‘drawn inexorably into the gravity well of her desperate honesty’ what the FUCK KIND OF LINE its gorgeous i cant deal with it or this book or this page or how desperately gorgeous the tragedy of drifter and orins relationship is 

also…… look. im a hopeless romantic. always have been, probs always will be, so when i say avia and rook are soulmates i mean it in the cheesiest way possible. right before this is rook feeling a bit self-conscious about the whole awoken engaging thing, and theres no way avia can actually put into words how irrevocably in love she is with rook. so she kisses him, and hopes beyond hope that she can put those feelings into motions if not words. i also enjoy the small bit of possessiveness that came out of her too, because the whole ‘claim’ thing with the awoken was there since the first draft but this section came in the final edit, she thinks of it so casually but when she goes on to say that she’d actually duel anyone who came between them i…….. would not put it past her to be 100% down to do that. 

rook isnt a bonfire in the darkness, he’s an anchor in the deep, a solid tether when the sea becomes a storm. 

(ayyy where the FUCK WAS THAT WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS) 

Requital Chp. 2:

Here’s the thing, if you’ve gone through the trouble of decrypting this (a fortified certain-eyes-only encryption that took me a couple of hundred years to perfect, thank you very much), it at least means you’re interested, so hear me out.

i like this line a lot, for a few reasons. drifter knows avia well enough at this point to be well acquainted with her temper and lack of time for dealing with his nonsense. it’s the first flick of the coin between the two of them, drifter laying the proverbial gauntlet down and at the end of the day, its up to her whether or not she picks it up. 

and she does, avia asks levi to decrypt it, and the first thing she sees is drifter acknowledging that shes done so and asking her to at least hear him out. he’s kind of caught her out, and she can respect that even if thats not at the forefront of her mind. avia also has her own brand of curiosity when it comes to people like the drifter, so this is kind of the first inkling of that. and it also (i hope) makes you wonder if drifter is aware of that curiosity that she has, if he sent the message decrypted on purpose to get her interested. 

She smiles at the note, throws her legs over the bed and stretches around a yawn. Five minutes later, Levi puts her in her armour.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stick around?” The Ghost asks. “We don’t have anything urgent to do. There’s breakfast here.”

Avia hums, considering. She moves into the kitchen, glances over the fridge, the cupboards. She looks then onto the sofa, the sprawled pillows, untidy blankets. Suddenly the armour on her body feels heavy, out of place, like the metal has no right being somewhere like this.

“No. I’m not hungry, let’s go.”

“Okay,” Levi says in that tone of voice that lets her know they aren’t buying it. “Should we walk, or transmat?”

Avia notices the balcony door is still open. She walks over and closes it, the streets barely alive as one or two civilians walk to and fro, glancing idly at each other as they pass. “Transmat.”

avia immediately makes an comment about being all domestic with rook in chapter 1. its just not something that suits her in her own mind, and that line (even though i havent waffled about it bc dear god theres too much here already) was something i immediately knew i wanted if i was going to write a day of domestic bliss with her and her fiance, because i knew it’d be a hard thing for her to just get on with like a normal person aha. 

so, we get this part in chapter 2. the domestic bliss is over, and what avia knows best, what shes always known best, is a set of armour and getting back to work. however this part of herself contradicts that which she’s experienced for the past day, and especially the line ‘Suddenly the armour on her body feels heavy, out of place, like the metal has no right being somewhere like this.’ i put in to really reinforce that idea. its not the metal that feels out of place in this scene, its the person in the metal. and her eagerness to transmat straight to the tower rather than walk through the peaceful city streets shows her tendency to run from such thoughts.

this part came really naturally, actually. its a small snapshot into a bigger struggle avia has with herself (especially given the dreaming city, the reef, petra and now potentially going back to the worst part of the shore with drifter) of where she belongs, and more importantly, if she deserves to belong. which is why levi talks to her in that tone because they know what shes doing, theyve seen it so many times before – avia in a scenario that resembles something normal and running from it with no one around to stop her, because in her subconscious she doesnt believe she deserves it. 

“Ada-1, I believe, has fully settled into the Tower. She becomes more and more tolerable of the Guardians by the day. And with the discovery of Niobe labs, her mood has been favourable.”

i had no idea how fun scarlet was to write until i got to this part. she almost has her own language, really. writing ‘im really proud of ada because i spent all morning with her and she was only snippy with like two guardians and shes been really uplifted and im really happy for her since they found niobe labs’ in scarlets own ‘okay but heres the relevant information’ way of explaining things is a challenge but FUN. like, really fun?? 

because scarlet wouldnt be mentioning adas mood if she didnt care, ya know? and its not that she cant say that longer thing about being proud and stuff, its just that she doesnt see the sense in it and its not important information. like, if avia and eden were to spend a dedicated amount of time whittling her down she would absolutely say ‘i am so proud of ada and also i wanna smooch her face how do i do that as an exo’ but its just not a thing for her. but part of the reason why ada and scarlet being together was an idea that i had was because i imagine that line of thinking probably suits ada. 

“It was at Ada’s request. I had more knowledge of the area in its current state, and felt more comfortable talking to Ikora and her Hidden agents than Ada did…”

supportive exo girlfriends. that is all. man ive gotta write more about these two

“Hmm,” Ada wears a concerned stare masked behind a formal rigidity that Avia knows her Warlock teammate best for.

if im being honest, i just really enjoy this line. i imagine its hard for exos to show concern, esp a character like ada and my girl scarlet, so avia has spent a lot of time dissecting certain facial cues and yeah im proud of how this description came out aha

…as if she hadn’t spent the past few months clipping sidelong comments and threatening him when his Gambit veered out of the realm of her control.

avia is a control freak. plain and simple, and i wanted to make that as obvious as possible considering this sentence is only a few away from avia choosing to go and talk to drifter. 

there’s a certain amount of ‘i need to understand this thing that i have limited knowledge on so i can predict/control/plan for it in the future’ in how avia views drifter in general, its a kind-of warlock way of thinking about things but the big difference is avias need for control in these situations is a) selfish and b) only applies to things that she knows she has a good chance of understanding/taming. shes not going around learning about the hive because she has a good understanding that thats a cosmic threat that can only be defended against until it comes. drifter on the other hand is on her doorstep.

i also really loved the contradiction in putting ‘gambit’ and ‘control’ next to each other in a sentence, i kinda hoped it showed how conflicted avia is about going and talking to drifter, and maybe even how naive it is of her to think that it could turn out okay. 

She was incensed, maybe, at the way he spoke to Ada, needed to go and stomp the idea out of his head but he got her talking, like he does

i like this line bc its avia acknowledging that she knows how shes viewed. she knows everyone sees her as a hot-head, she knows her anger veers away from her sometimes and whilst she’s gotten better at getting a handle on it, it’s still an aspect of her that people who dont know her well enough find it hard to get past. 

i also enjoy how new people to this fic/avia in general might not know that this is a big part of her? so she’s trying to use it as an excuse, ‘well no one can blame me if i say i got really mad because thats what i do’ and it (hopefully) tells new people about that aspect of her character without having to show the worst part of it, the convo with ada being an introduction to it i guess – especially since the past few scenes have seen her a lot softer than im used to writing aha. 

“Dammit,” she mutters under her breath. And walks towards the Drifter before she can make a better decision

fun fact – this line was originally ‘and walks down the corridor before she can make a better decision.’ 

i changed it because i wanted to make it more obvious that avia is making a conscious decision to choose drifter, that she’s walking towards a path that she knows is not a good idea. it provides foreshadowing for the allegiance quest and referring to him as ‘The Drifter’ cements it as an idea that she’s walking towards and not necessarily a person.