#i genuinely cant believe that this is what the earth is coming to

[alebrijediscordico]

THE NEW AVATAR TRAILER LOOKS SOOO GOOD!!

[kuroosdarling]

WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR — ༉‧₊˚.

ft. roomie!mattsun !

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : working at a funeral home can take its toll. aka mattsun comes home after a bad day at work.

꒰ CONTENTS ꒱ : hurt/comfort, pining, cigarette smoking, mentions of death, mattsun has the beginnings of an existential crisis : WC — 1.7k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : i wanted to take a closer look at mattsun & readers relationship. it was going to be more suggestive but i wanted to show a diff side of their relationship :3 enjoy !!

reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)♡*.ﾟ

it was one of those days that felt too quiet. living with mattsun and makki ensured living a life that was always full of laughter, full of life. but there were certain days where it felt like the earth stood still.

days when mattsun would come home from work, the light shifted from his eyes as he was off in a far off space that neither you nor makki could pull him from. one where he would slip through the halls, directly to the balcony, and with a shaky hand — he’d light his cigarette.

he loved his job, he always told you guys that. but you also knew that some days took a toll. one where he had to remove himself from reality a bit just to cope with whatever horror he had to deal with. because when you’re dealing with the dead, it’s hard not to let it seep into your soul.

“think he’ll be okay?” you ask makki. the two of you seated on the couch with some show playing in the background. but your conjoined attention was on him, even though you tried your best not to make it obvious.

“he always pulls through.” he nods. but you can tell in his eyes he’s just as worried. usually makki could crack a joke or two and bring a smile back out on his face, but when he tried today, he was met with a blank stare. “maybe you’ll have better luck breaking through to him.”

“huh? why?” you ask, pivoting your body towards him. “you already tried and it didn’t work. what makes you think i’d have better luck?”

“well, for starters, you are fucking him.” he said nonchalantly. the heat rose to your face as you reached for the nearest pillow, throwing it at his face. he easily dodged it as it flew past, hitting the blinds and ultimately, the glass door to the balcony mattsun was still standing on.

you gulp as mattsun turns to look at the commotion inside, his attention now fully on you instead of wherever distant place it was before. you offer him a small smile before he turns back around, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“i cant believe you said that.” you hissed out at makki who could only laugh.

“oh, was it supposed to be a secret? you guys are not very subtle then.” he giggled before he peeked outside again. “but now you’ve done it, so why don’t you go out there?”

“you really think he’ll want to talk to me?” your voice was small, insecurity closing around your throat. makki offered you a genuine look, one that told you more than words ever could.

“yeah. i really do.”

with that, you make your way outside while makki retreats into his bedroom. you open the door and you’re met with a gust of wind that has you stumbling outside.

“watch your step.” mattsun muttered before sticking the cigarette back in his mouth. it was clear he was frustrated, the wind constantly blowing out his cigarette certainly didn’t help either.

he goes to light it again, the lighter stubbornly refusing to work. he let out a loud groan, throwing the cigarette beside him on the ground before pocketing the lighter. you almost wince.

“issei-“ you coo, getting closer.

“what?” his voice wasn’t harsh but it wasn’t his usual laid back tone either. everything in you wanted to rush back inside and hide out in your room.

“you wanna talk about it?” you ask softly, standing next to him as you both look out at the city. he glances at you quickly before looking back out there.

“not really.”

“okay.” you nod, still not moving. after a few moments of silence, you feel mattsun shift, his forehead crashing down against your shoulder as he leans against you for support. you almost jump at the sudden contact.

“it was just a bad day.” he sighed, his breath tickling your skin. “a long week, really. it felt more busier than usual. so many families to talk to, so many things to do to prepare the bodies, i’m just exhausted.”

and you could hear it in his voice. his earlier clipped tongue melted into something softer and syrupy sweet. one that tugged at your heart.

“i’m sorry ‘sei, that sounds like a lot.” you keep your voice light as you pivot your body around to hold onto him better. you could tell he’s been holding this in for far too long.

“that’s not all.” his chin rested on your shoulder now and you knew he was looking far off again. “something else happened today when they brought a new body in that pushed me over the edge.”

“what was it?” for a moment, he didn’t answer, trying to summon up the words he desperately wanted to say. you could tell he was twisting them around in his mouth before he spewed it all out in one breath.

“they couldn’t identify the body for awhile. they kept saying it was a jane doe coming in. and then she came in, all covered up and her hair—“ he swallowed thickly. “looked just like yours.”

“oh.” was all you could say before he kept going.

“i thought-“ his arms tightly wound around you. “i don’t really know what i thought. i knew it wasn’t you, but there was just a voice that kept saying, what if? and i freaked out. i could barely do it.”

“hey, it’s okay.” you rub his back soothingly, letting him fall apart a little bit. you squeeze him back so tightly to try and mend him back together. and part of you almost believes it works. “i’m okay, you’re okay.”

“days like these i hate my job because it just puts too much in perspective. i try not to have a negative outlook on life but it’s hard when all i see everyday is how it ends.” he sighs as your fingers find his hair, smoothing through the small, tangled waves that have taken refugee.

“what’s that one quote? it’s not the destination, it’s the journey?” your voice as a light lilt to it that has him letting out an amused scoff. “i’m sorry you had a rough week, issei. your job is a heavy one and i know it’s hard to remain optimistic. but it’s a hell of a reminder that you’re alive right now and you can make the best of it. we’ll make every day count, even if it’s something as simple as eating our favorite foods. okay? you’re not alone.”

he lets out a soft hum in response and everything’s quiet for a moment. even the wind simmers down into a softer breeze while issei finds sanctuary in your arms. it’s a rare sight seeing him like this — one that never failed to tear at your heartstrings, clipping them one by one until it relents and falls right into his hands.

“thank you.” he sighs out, straightening up and loosening his hold on you. it’s sickening how much you already miss the closeness, and it only grows worse as he steps back and out of reach. “i needed that.”

“anytime.” you bite back the ‘that’s what friends are for’ line you’d normally use because you’re pretty sure you’ve crossed that line. plus that could potentially start a whole new conversation that you weren’t ready to open just yet.

issei takes out a fresh cigarette and successfully lights it this time, a look of brief satisfaction taking over his features. you almost want to remind him that there’s a better use for his oral fixation but decide against it as you watch him inhale.

there was still something swirling around in the air, mixing itself within the smoke before drifting away from your grasp. no matter how hard you fought to hold onto it, it wasn’t yours to take. the question sits on your tongue, marinating with your thoughts as it takes you further and further away from him.

“so, what’s up with you?” issei’s voice breaks the silence, shattering the glass wall you were desperately trying to build a second ago.

“what do you mean?” you tilt you head, hoping to feign innocence long enough for him to drop the loaded question and move on.

“it’s just—“ he looks at you, studying you for a moment with his slightly narrowing eyes as if he was trying to peer into your very soul, piercing through your skin so he can see what truly lies under it. “you seem unsure lately.”

“what would i have to be unsure about?” you breath out so quickly all the words melt together.

“you tell me.” those three words sent your mind reeling. leave it to him to stir up all your thoughts, all the ones you tried hiding between the lines.

“its nothing.” you sigh. “i was just worried about you this week, that’s all.”

“that’s all?”

“yep.” you brace yourself to look back at him and almost wish you didn’t. a chill that had nothing to do with the wind ran down your back, almost nudging you closer to him. but you steel yourself, holding his gaze. “that’s all.”

“okay then.” he sighs, turning around so he’s facing the glass door to your apartment. “let’s just order take out and hang out then.”

the invitation was so simple. something that felt practiced, routine. every cell in your body was ready to agree to it without a second thought but something stopped you. how deep were you willing to go for him without a promise of more? and why did it seem like the length was endless, you’d free fall even if he wasn’t there to catch you. and the thought scared you to your core.

something had to be done though, you couldn’t keep trying to tread this riptide. maybe if you took some space from him, tried going on a date with someone else…

you shake the thought from your head. regardless of what should be done, it wasn’t the time right now. mattsun was standing in between the glass door waiting for you with a foot on either side. the small smile growing on his face filled you with so much warmth, dousing another level of confusion to your swamped mind.

“yeah.” you nod, making your way to the door. “better tell makki though, i have a hunch he’s been feeling left out lately.”

taglist : @otoyastoy @deliqwuette @seisitive @zorosdimples @petriquors @misfit-megumi @the-tenth-shadow @bokutone @justsomeoneyoudontknow @sleepysnorlaxsblog @sugurini @himboos

[kevin-ibw]

Hi!! Ive read a couple of your posts abt your salvation au and holy sHIT its so interesting and intriguing!! While i still dont fully understand the differences between ur au and canon, ive noticed that salvation/nun!velvet is the one (literally) preaching about, obviously, salvation when in canon, thats charlies job (and shes vv legit abt it and genuinely succeeded, pentious my beloved)

So i gotta ask, would charlie and her hotel still exist? If it does, does it also offer their own version of salvation similar to velvettes cult? Whats the differences between the hotel and the cult? Their respective salvations? What kind of dynamic do they have?

If it doesnt, how does velvette replacing charlies hotel affect hell? Whats the ramifications of that?

Sorry if this is already been asked about, i havent read every post and i just got really curious! I love your art of the vees, and i cant wait to see more of your stuff!!! Have a nice day!! :))

Charlie and the Hotel

- Charlie seeks to give salvation to her people via opening the Salvation Hotel to serve as a paradise for everyone. Sinners are cautious and are uneasy about the offer, but it seems to get a boost in publicity after a certain television overlord promotes her services.

Differences between the Hotel and Velvette's Cult

- Charlie's salvation follows the definition of; preservation or deliverance from harm, ruin, or loss. Similar to canon, the hotel serves as a way of protecting sinners from extermination. It’s supposed to be a safe haven and a paradise for everyone.

The Hotel has elements from Earth that would make anyone very nostalgic, and seeing something that reminds them of our time of being alive, especially if they've been dead for so long, it is their salvation.

Mfs when they actually miss touching grass belike

Meanwhile, Velvette is a lot more malicious. She claims she can offer sinners salvation, but their only definitive proof is their fellow vee, Vox, who has disappeared for over seven years. Velvette's cult actively makes their own followers indulge in sin, saying that eventually, when the time comes, their sins will be forgiven, and we will all be saved from damnation.

And they believe her willingly, unknown to the fact that now their souls have been sold, which strips them away of their change of ascending to heaven.

[Thank you so much for the nice words 😭✨️, I enjoy answering these asks as much as you guys liking my AU 💖]

[strangewiggles]

pathologic furry designs because im a nerd

(aglaya, rubin, and lara, *ft artemy)

i usually dont post uncolored drawings/doodles but i plan on making a few of these

HUGE thanks to my buddies for help/input on these..both are huge brained and awesome at art follow them now

heres the thought process (spoiler free, mostly based on patho 2)

me and my buddies were in a call for all of these and we had a very intellectual conversation about all of them. when looking for furry designs i usually think of personality, mannerisms, and likeness.

Aglaya, Shoebill

both of the friends i asked havent played the game past day 5 (one of them is on day 2) so i asked “what animal would she be” with just a picture of her model. i was interested to see what 2 people who’ve only seen her once (in the intro) would think of her purely on vibes and brief dialogue. the first suggestion was “some kinda bird” and that seemed to stick.

a bit tall, a bit intimidating. so we threw out Herons, Ostriches, Peacocks…

Shoebill seemed to fit. I wanted a bird that was either grey or black, some kinda desaturated color but also one that was tall and a bit scary. Shoebills are definitely considered pretty scary. theyre also super tall and i remember saying in the call "these things are huge if i saw them flying i would cry." when it comes to shoebills, i imagine them towering over most other animals, especially with that neck and beak! they're also ambush predators i believe. shoebills fit Aglaya's first impressions perfectly.

i almost made her a Dalmatian... im glad i didnt...

Rubin, Skinny Pig

I wasn't even going to initially draw Rubin here... it started by me asking "who'd be a naked mole rat?" and the immediate answer was "Rubin..." which made me remember that he was bald LMAO. I figured that fit a little, and the original drawing was him as a naked mole rat. a few things werent quite right though.

first, digging. i cant imagine Rubin as an animal who's entire thing is digging around and being dirty, he's a doctor and, other than blood, i can't imagine he'd wanna be dirty...

second, social groups. as far as i know, naked mole rats are very social within their own circles? just from the early game (as early as the first 3 days?) he's pretty antisocial and seems to have a distaste for the Kin, even if influenced by grief(the emotion not the person). he even seems reluctant to be close to close friends.

and, of course, moles have to be saved for someone else... we'll get there. WINK

..i dont remember how Skinny Pigs came up, i think i was just googling them and thought they were funny since i have a friend who owns some.. i did a bit of googlin and asking my buddy in the call about skinny pig mannerisms.. theyre pretty...territorial? at least males to other males, theyre pretty aggressive as far as i know. this definitely fit Rubin. the OTHER reason for any kind of guinea pig was considered was because of the concept of "test guinea pigs" and not in a literal sense, but just the concept, because of Rubin's connection to Isidor. i will say i felt like the smartest person on earth when i thought of that.

also the cute ears absolutely influenced the decision.

Lara, Generic Ass Wolf

Lara was genuinely so difficult... unlike the other two, there were literally no suggestions being thrown out. my description was something like "maybe something small, cute, short tempered, but social?" and, for some reason, that was a tall order. my first guess was a mouse, but that wasnt perfect... we thought we'd have to turn to bugs and fish, though a lot of bugs and fish are hard to find personalities for.. at a surface level at least. we decided to save bugs and fish for other people...

and then, the suggestion of "wolf" came up, albeit reluctantly. when it comes to furry-fying characters, wolves and dogs are definitely...up there, in terms of "most used/obvious".. but really, think about it.

Believe it or not, wolves can be a little anxious, if not in a way that presents itself as anger/defense. this is also how i described Lara, "anxious in a way that presents as anger." also, wolves, while sometimes being a little solitary, are commonly in packs. which is...Lara's, like, Whole Thing. a house for the living etc etc..

I don't think i need to explain wolves too much either way. theyre The Furry Animal. whatever you know about wolves is probably true for Lara. it seems low-effort but trust me this decision took forever LMAO

and i mean...look at her. she looks like a wolf

*Artemy here is a bull because... yeah. that's the most obvious one. as #1 artemy fan i couldn't in good conscious make him anything other than a bull even if it's low effort idgaf... ill look at types of bulls for him later.

hope you liked my rambles..

[dekusleftsock]

What Azi means: I need you. Please come with me. I want to make heaven a better place so we can live happy together, forever.

What Deku means: Kacchan you are so amazing. I can't lose you. I need to fix everything on my own to protect you.

What Crowley heard: go back to heaven so we can fix you

What Bakugou heard: Don't need you. Bye loser

Fr it’s so funny

Though I think azi’s intentions were well meaning, it just doesn’t WORK. Like on a fundamental level, heaven can’t and won’t change to accommodate. It sees Crowley and other demons as evil, HELL as evil. Because if hell ISNT evil, then it’s no longer a concept but a place. Hell is just as capable as heaven is of being good or bad, because they are the same.

Aziraphale’s original concept of heaven, hell, and earth has most definitely changed yes—instead of seeing all demons as bad and all angels as good and all humans as capable of either, he sees them as capable of doing good or bad things—though with humans they may not HAVE that choice, as seen in the grave robbing flashback. He also believes that heaven does not fulfill the duties god desires, instead believing in a vague concept of goodness prevailing over evil—not an entity.

Aziraphale must believe that god is good just as he must believe that hell is evil, because if he doesn’t…

Then those places and entities become conceptual, and he no longer has something to BELIEVE in

It’s not about heaven being good or hell being evil, it’s about his belief in god and what his life was made for.

God and heaven don’t need to be perfect, NOT EVEN GOOD, they just needed to be better than hell.

So while yes, Azi does believe that heaven is a place Crowley belongs, that’s not because he thinks that heaven is good, but that Crowley is better than hell.

I genuinely don’t blame Crowley for his reaction. I mean, metatron saying “Crowley can become an Angel!” was basically a way for metatron to hang a prize on a stick for azi to follow. Crowley KNOWS THIS, he knows what heaven is doing. Not completely, but vaguely.

AND UGGHHHHHHH THE BKDK-NESS OF THIS WHOLE SHOW HITS ME IN THE GUT SO HARD

Whether that’s bc I just really like bkdk or if they’re actually like Crowley and Aziraphale, I’m not sure, but either way I can feel it in my soul.

Izuku’s belief of “I can save you on my own, I can keep my emotions in a box just for you” makes me almost feel like he’s more Crowley than Aziraphale, and Katsuki’s tendency to assume what deku thinks based on ultimately innocent actions feels a whole lot more like Aziraphale than Crowley.

But this mostly comes down to being unapologetic about how you really feel and think about the person you like and their actions. If Crowley wants Aziraphale to understand, he has to tell him. If Aziraphale wants Crowley to hear him, he has to shout.

And it’s just like bkdk in that way. Surprise! The miscommunication is solved through communication!

But it’s also about realizing that your loved one will never be what you want them to be. That’s something they both have to understand.

THEYRE ALL SO AFRAID OF REJECTION AND IT HURTS ME. IT HURTS SO BAD. WHY CANT WE TAKE RISKS GUYS WHY WHY WHY

[writeshite]

OMG luce is back at it BOOOOOM. DO I KNOW WHO TO REQUEST FEO: no. Do I know it'll be angsty af? YES! Should I keep writing my own ff instead of writing Requests? Kinda. Also I just stepped on my MacBook and i think its dead- NYways enough from my life :)

Of course it's gonna be for morphy again, cus I love that man.

So. There ist this one guy, who cheated death in Greek mythology (wikilink) . So my Idea is that there is someone on earth who does the same, best woul be to set it in the mid 18th hundred bc of the clothes, I love the clothes.

Death had been chasing that boy for like a while, but genuinely cant discover him and when she does reader always runs away. So she asks dream for a bit help, and the the good lil brother he is, he agrees to help. He and Lucien read through nearly all the books in the library, dont find that boy in the dream books though, but they find his diary.

Morpheus reads through it and starts sympathizing with the reader, so he visits them. They argue and he starts liking them more. The rest be urs :D I just cant put things in words rn. <\3

I really loved how u made my other Request in a wonderful fanfic so... I thought why not Request again.!

Greets Luce ~

One More Lifetime Won't Kill Anyone

Summary:

“You wouldn’t like what comes after,” she warns. The prospect of eternity is hard enough as an immortal being, but as a human, it could drive one mad - grief is but just one of many things you’d have to contend with.  You consider it but then ask, “I won’t like what comes after,” you scoff, “if you’re so adamant about getting me to come with you, make me,” you challenge. She sighs, “You won’t. You’re almost too human, too kind,” you tell her, “and for that, I am thankful.”

Pairings:

Morpheus x Male!Reader

Tags:

Angst | Fluff | Mild Smut | Inspired By The Myth Of Sisyphus | Evading Death | Discussion of Death & Mortality | This Author Regrets Nothing

Words: 3182

Author's Note:

You will not believe the amount of math I had to do for this.

Death first crosses your path at eight. The plague traveled through the village - the doors were sealed days prior, windows shut, and with no contact with the outside world, your grandmother’s body was still fresh. Still on her bed beside her, your cousin was slumped; she’d stopped hacking out blood and could barely speak; the bile gathered at the corner of her lips; every so often, she would reach out her hand, and you’d curl even further in the corner. The house stank of sick, and your stomach provided a reminder you were still alive. 

When people passed, they’d mutter prayers; the plague doctor came once a day; when you responded to his calls, he would tut and leave you, ignoring your protests. You used to pound at the door, but with your energy lacking, you only begged. When Death came, she was kind. Your cousin took her hand and stood anew - dead, but anew - your grandmother followed suit, and then she turned to you. You shook your head, though; you couldn’t die; you were healthy; the ailment had yet to curse your veins.

“I’m sorry,” she comforted you. She directed the three of you from the house - you the only one corporeal - Death led from the village, the path evened out, bumps vanishing, and people fading away. The light, as it would come to be called centuries later, shone brightly. The other two were ecstatic that or had already resigned themselves to their fate; you, on the other hand, were terrified. Eight years old. Eight years old, and you turned away from Death and ran. Away from the light. Away from the village. You ignored her calls, covered your ears when your grandmother cried out for you and pleaded you return to paradise.

Like every child, you thought the forest was a perfect hiding place. The bramble pierced your feet, branches grabbing at your clothes; you stumbled through a shrub, and the ground vanished beneath you. Pulled down by gravity, you fumbled down the cliff, body contorting as it spun; the aching pain of your neck breaking was the last you felt before you died. That should have been the end.

Your village is barely what it was when you return, twenty years passed, and the old path was all that was left. The plague had done its work, and after, the lord of the land - the smell of burning flesh festered, but you ignored it through your work. The makeshift tombstones had taken the better half of a week to make; with no knowledge of Latin, English, or any of the upper languages, you’d elected to carve - as best as you could - your family’s faces. You’d erected them far from the main path, secluded beneath an old peach tree, “Sorry about running off back then,” you muttered.

You hadn’t stuck much near home; scared Death would be waiting; the first few days after not dying had been painful, your neck resetting itself slowly, all the while, you could barely move. Stuck staring up at the canopy, praying Death wouldn’t stumble across you. You’d survived on stealing from the carriages and people that passed through the woods - a hefty reward had been set up after you’d stolen from some noble, but it was well past disregarded. “Is it nice up there?” you asked. “It’s just, I remember how you would speak of the afterlife, and I —” sometimes, in the lowest moments, you regretted running, wishing you could follow along. 

Ale did well to stifle the thoughts, leaving you curled in on yourself as you cried; they were few and far between. You shook your head, “ —never mind.” 

“It depends,” another voiced. You turned, and there she stood, Death, “You look tired,” she observed.

“Usually, people say hello,” you quipped.

“I suppose you’re right. Hello.” She comes to stand beside you, “They’re happy, by the way, a little angry about you running off.”

“Understandable.” You don’t exchange much more small talk before she brings up the glaringly obvious matter of her visit. You step away when she holds out her hand, “Please, you’re long overdue,” she says, reaching out again. But you back away, shaking your head; she calls out your name, not a warning, more cautiously, as you look ten seconds away from bolting.

“Yes, well, I’ll have you know I’m doing quite well,” you tell her.

“Are you?” she asks. And you huff in response, brushing off her hand and bidding the graves your goodbye; you walk fast. Your feet carry you as far as they can; you hear a sigh, then the sound of footsteps; she’s gone when you look back and right in front of you. You halt, “Don’t fight me on this,” she pleads.

You back away, “I’m not going anywhere with you; you can’t make me.”

“I don’t want to —”

“Then don’t.”

“You wouldn’t like what comes after,” she warns. The prospect of eternity is hard enough as an immortal being, but as a human, it could drive one mad - grief is but just one of many things you’d have to contend with. 

You consider it but then ask, “I won’t like what comes after,” you scoff, “if you’re so adamant about getting me to come with you, make me,” you challenge. She sighs, “You won’t. You’re almost too human, too kind,” you tell her, “and for that, I am thankful.”

She lets you go, perhaps agreeing with your statement, but you don’t stop to ask; you run, barely stopping in the woods. You gather what you have hidden away among the trees, weave a new persona, a new life, and stow away on the first ship you can. A modest thing, the inside is damp and cold; you’re sure the captain knows of your presence - judging by the wrapped bread thrown over the crates you hide behind. Death is there sometimes, sat atop the crates; she often glances down at you, offering her hand once in a while, but you turn away, huffing stubbornly.

“Morpheus, I’m your favorite sibling, right?”

The endless in question glances over at Death; she’s laid back, face pinched in irritation, and eyes shut, “Usually, I would say yes, but I feel there’s some sort of baggage to it this time.”

She rubs her temples, “There’s a human —”

“ —Hob?” Morpheus interjects.

“No, not him, another one. He doesn’t, he ran away from me, and no matter what I do, nothing I say will convince him to pass.”

“What does this have to do with me?” he asks. She sits up, and he already knows he’s not going to like this.

He most definitely, does not like this. 

Not the favor, more so the lack of results. The library has nothing on you; he finds your family, friends, and even your village but nothing on you. Lucienne is far luckier; she resurfaces from a mountain of books, a worn-up journal in hand, and on the cover is your name; the first few pages are your childhood - dreary, at best, the plague doesn’t make for such happy moments - after it’s muddled, the writing is a mess. A few pages are caked with dirt and leaves. One even was just soaked in blood. 

“Oh dear,” Lucienne mutters, “It appears the poor boy hasn’t had a very happy life so far –is that seawater?” The next set of pages are just wet, though not too much, as they manage to read some of the writing.

Death came for me again; we had a bit of fun this time, though. The captain got sick of me stowing away in his ship and put me to work…………never peeled so many potatoes in my life…………three days…………don’t know what I’ll do…………

I accidentally married……………………count……………………shit……………………

Morpheus chuckled at the accidental marriage bit; he’d love to hear that story firsthand. “He sounds lovely,” he remarks.

“No matter what I say, you’re going to visit him, aren’t you?” Lucienne notes, and he voices agreement, already leaving the library.

Walking through dreams - not that he doesn’t already do that - your dreams are strange; most people in this century dream of riches, wealth, usurping those above their stations, but you, you dream of a little house with two other people and nothing eventful. 

“Hand me that, dear.” One of the other people, an older woman, she’s making stew, she’s always making stew, and she never eats it. Portioning what little there is to an adolescent - face often blurred and uncertain - and another child. “Oh, no, no, I’m alright. I had some of the bread; I’ll be fine. Eat up, dear; we don’t want you catching the plague so thinly looking.”

“It’s rude to trespass into other people’s minds.” The scene trickles away and is replaced by a void.

“How do you know I am trespassing?” Morpheus asks, “I could be a figment of your imagination.”

You chuckle, form appearing before him, “I doubt my mind could conjure a man of such beauty.” He smiles a little, “A man whose name eludes me.”

“How can it elude if it was never given,” he counters, “You look rather different from what Death described; shouldn’t you be sickly?”

You huff, “It’s been twenty-nine years of running from her, things are bound to change, and when you live so long, well, things get easier.”

“Then why dream of a shabby little hut?” 

“We’ve barely been acquainted, good sir,” you respond.

“Is that an invitation?”

“If you like.”

He very much did - not that he’d admit it to himself - and left the Dreaming, finding himself in the countryside; you’ve done quite well for yourself, looking healthier than you had when Death had last seen you. Your new home - correction manor house - is well spaced, with rolling fields all around, well kept, and very few staff; it’s quite isolated - a home fit for someone undying.

“You don’t look that different awake.” You say from behind him, the reigns of a horse in hand, “In fact, I’d say you look quite average.”

“Insulting me won’t do much to change the subject of my visit.”

“I suppose not,” you hand the reigns over to a waiting stableboy, “shall we?”

“You walk like a noble.” He comments, it’s not that hard to do, really, nose stuck up, face passive, and arms behind your back, you’ve got it down quite well. “You also seemed to have adjusted quickly to —what’s your title?”

“Count,” you reply, relaxing back on the armchair, “What of you? Associate of Death, what title do you hold?”

He chuckles, “I’m no associate, rather a brother fulfilling a favor, and as for a title, Lord of Dreams seems to be universal, but I prefer Morpheus.”

He asks for your name in return, and you give it; you’ve never seen the need to change it with the turning centuries, “Now then, Morpheus, why has Death sent you to my doorstep?”

“She didn’t,” he admits, “her favor required less involvement on my part.”

“And what sort of involvement would that be?” you inquire.

“I’m not quite sure yet,” he responds; you’ve both seemed to have shifted in your seats, leaning closer to the other, “Why? Are you proposing something?”

“Morpheus, we’ve only met. What do you take me for?” You feign innocence, placing a hand on his chest, and push back the lapel of his coat. You’re not sure who leans closer, but you find yourself holding him close, his hands holding your face as you fall to your bed. Clothes were discarded somewhere between the move from where you’d sat, and you didn’t bother to think of them now. Morpheus lowers himself, head nestled between your legs; you grasp him by his hair as he swallows your cock - your moans echoing in the room - he kisses along your thighs when he comes off it, dark eyes glazing back up at you.

Your back arches when he draws an orgasm from you, your legs loosened by the feeling, and you spend many hours finding endless ways to bring each other pleasure. You lie next to Morpheus, “I’ve quite enjoyed your involvement, Morpheus.”

He grins, “I doubt Death will; I’m certain the favor was to garner insight into you.”

“Oh, I think you’ve done that well enough,” you tease, and he sighs, a slight pout to his expression; you roll him onto his back, “let me give you some more insight.”

“Would you like something to cover that up, my lord?” Lucienne jests.

Morpheus is going to keep walking with dignity; he is going to ignore the blatant hickeys along his skin, the flushed look on his face, and his tussled hair. He is also going to ignore Lucienne’s smug little smirk and Death’s glare as he strides past them.

The age of enlightenment, they’re calling it. Rubbish. Traipsing around the world like they own the place, the age of entitlement is more like it. You chuckle at your own joke; your fellow counts and noblemen had been appalled by your commentary, angry that a member of their own caste would say something so indecent. The Renaissance had been no better, but at least you’d had Leonardo, a genius he was, immortalized in so many ways - you’d barely left your manor house after returning from his passing, and she’d been there. Death, gaze steady as you held his hand, “You could follow, come with,” she offered once more.

“I doubt he would; he’s a stubborn old man,” Leonardo had said before Death guided him away.

You’d left his assistant, Salaì, to his matters, then retired to your home - many of the friends you’d come to know had either passed or gone senile; their children and grandchildren had grown weary of you, “You’ve never aged a day,” they’d say, and you’d shrug, dismissing the conversation.

“Is this seat taken?”

You glance up from your mug of ale; the foam is long gone, and the taste is stale, “Of course, who else would I be reserving it for?” you quip. It’s still strange to see Morpheus among humans, they don’t seem to register him as anything other than a man, but after the years you’d spent avoiding Death - and distracting him - you’d come to know how to pick out otherworldly beings from a crowd. The endless dons 18th Century apparel befit a nobleman, his hair held back and a grim expression on his face - perhaps concern. You’d be remiss to dismiss him; he’d become quite the shadow over the years, especially today - the anniversary of your family’s death - morning hours at the grave, evening hours at the bar. 

He placed a hand on your glass before you could take another swig, “It’s still light out; at least let me get through a few glasses before you cut me off.”

“I did, last year, and we woke up in another country,” he reminds you.

You laugh, “Oh, don’t pout, Morpheus,” you pout back, over exaggerating all the while, but he doesn’t budge, and you groan. “You’re no fun; you know that? Can’t you let me live out my dreams?”

“Getting blackout drunk is your dream?”

You purse your lips and nod, “Today? Yes.”

“This isn’t healthy,” he chastises you, and you scoff.

“Says who? I’ve lived a long life; I deserve to kick back and drown myself in alcohol,” you tell him, running a hand around the rim of your glass, you haven’t had enough to get you drunk, but you’re on the edge of tipsy. You brush his hand away and knock back the rest of your drink, a satisfied smile on your face. “Cheer up, Morpheus; I’ve got enough dread to endure today.”

“There are other, healthier ways to cope with grief.”

You almost laugh, snickering at his statement, “Oh, please, what do you know of grief?” You ask him, “What could a creature of eternity know of suffering?” you seethed.

“I know well of suffering,” he defended, “I’ve lived far longer than you could ever imagine.”

You scoffed, “Suffering? You hold more power in your hand than anyone could fathom, and you think you could grasp the finite pain that boils through me?” You turned to him with a breathy laugh and the onset of tears, “You walk among gods; I hide in their shadows. Our suffering cannot be compared, perhaps you have suffered, but could you ever comprehend the mortal toil that stains my world?”

“You think my life free of turmoil,” he sadly mused.

“Is it not? You do not fear Death; she is your sister. You do not experience hunger; it is beneath you. You do not suffer thirst, illness, or fear. Your immortality was yours from birth, mine, a once fortunate accident.”

“You’ve become resentful of me.” It’s less of an observation; your journal entries at the library have become more haphazard than before, and a few unfinished sentences mention him, but without context or elaboration, what else is he to assume but the worst?

“Oh no, not you, more so myself….my stupid, cowardly self….” you lament, laughing as tears fall from your eyes. Your memories of the past, before this mess, have become hazy, your dreams have no faces, their voices carry in the distance when they speak - never clear, never certain, you’ve forgotten what so many people sound like by now, “My mind’s become forgetful,” you tell him, “I can’t remember anything that well anymore, well, except you I suppose, but then again,” you brush your hand against his, “you are a constant aren’t you?”

He smiles a little, “Always.” He accompanies you back home, and you lie atop him, mind muddled and slumber stricken; he watches over you when Death approaches. She stands by the bed, face painted with disappointment. 

“You can’t keep doing this, Morpheus; I asked for your help; falling in love with him isn’t doing that.” Death lectured.

Morpheus glanced down at you, “He needs me,” he argued.

“Does he? Or do you need him?” she counters. “I know you’ve come to care for him, but he is spiraling; you saw it. How many more years do you think he’ll manage before he goes mad?”

“He won’t. I’ll be there; I’ll always be there,” Morpheus proclaims.

The 21st Century is rather strange; technology has excelled beyond what you’d ever imagined; despite the choice of travel, you’ve elected to return home, close to the site of your long-gone village. A site now in the hands of a museum, alongside your family’s gravestones, they’d taken down the peach tree, excavated, and placed everything else behind a glass pane. You’d put off buying the land for decades, the area had never been popular, so interest was never an issue, but now, glancing at the exhibit, you felt everything and nothing all at once.

Unlucky victims of the plague….

You couldn’t read it without scoffing; what business did they have digging up the gravestones? You feel seconds away from buckling, and as you’re about ready to do so, a hand slips into yours; you hadn’t heard Morpheus approach - mind you, you could barely focus on anything - he lightly tugs, and you turn, hiding away in his embrace.

End Note:

Originally, I was gonna have this end so sad, but then, I decided to be kind. 🙂 Stay Hydrated.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

If you’re still doing the ask game, Leticia 2, 5 and 12

im gonna fuckign cry

im gonna fuckign cry!! theres so much swimming around my tiny little brain and it is so hard to remember what stuff is canon and what is stuff i spun in a hiatus fueled mania but th one thing i can come up with is simply that. shes kind. she cares. so fucking much. i cant spin as much as i want to bc i desperately need to destroy my emotions again and rewatch the wtd arc but so much of her feels so driven by how much she genuinely worries abt the people close to her. she is driven by love!!! she is so loved!!!! she loves, and is loved, and that love was enough of a lifeline to keep her afloat. her instant worrying about tilly the instant she regained her senses, all of those fragmented memories being echoes of her love and connection for others that had been scratched away, the decision to hold tight to that before it could be ripped away again. her trying to protect tilly despite having barely anything to protect her with in that state, against the very thing that did that to her to begin with!!! RRRAAHHHH...... every day i miss her and miss her and miss her if she has 100 fans iam one of them if she has 1 it is me if she has 0 ive been erased from this earth but dont you fucking worry i will be BACK. im cutting myself off here KJDNKGJND

a mannequin adrift by the scary jokes. someone (looks at camera) made a character playlist for her waaay back and like half of those songs r permanently associated w her in my brain now. and permanently in my own playlists. other instant gut associations are Well better than the alternative (WillWood) and Damage suppressor (BlackDresses). there are more. this is already long enough though--

once again falling victim to 'is this canon or did i just riff so hard it blended together' but um. i like t believe she likes to go running a lot. whenever threads and tasks start getting tangled too much she will simply. get up. and go. there she goes. it helps get excess energy out, and its nice to just get to see the city go by. a little reminder or something. of everything. this does come with the side effect of Getting More Distracted, but hey, she can handle it now, whatever ✌

[arcaneyouth]

Hmmm.... top 10 OCs and why you like them! Also allowed is just giving their entire backstory with each answer.

OH FUCKIN BOY this ones almost definitely going under a read more thanks

1) JOE!!!!

ironically i cant explain this one in detail sorry thats still spoilers. we are getting there in my comic i fucking promise just give me. another year. or two. fuck. anyways he's just!!!! he's my silly!!! he helped me figure out a lot about myself and what i wanted from the world and i kind of accidentally processed some of my biggest traumas through him and because of that every day he is a reminder that life continues, the time will pass anyways, tomorrow will always come, and fear of something ending does not have to control you

2) amedeo my fucked up piece of shit amedeo. ive already written paragraphs upon paragraphs about him in several different places so i will refrain from doing it again and focus on Why he means so much to me. he's kind of! like a counterweight to what joe helps me with? like joe reminds me i have the freedom to do whatever i want with my life, and amedeo reminds me i still gotta fucking be nice to people or that will have consequences i dont want. if i were to live my life purely by what joe helped me figure out i wanted, i would become amedeo and thats like not. good ADGAHFS and i have fallen down that path before. and there was still hope for him. so theres still hope for me. hes also really pretty

3) oh fuck now i have to choose between my beloveds. UHHHHHH dara we're going dara. honestly she only gets this high up the list because shes joes girlfriend, but she is still really interesting and special to me. dara did genuinely awful things.... 70 years ago. things she has spent the rest of her life trying to make up for. she is a good person who is trying so hard. she also cant even see how hard shes trying and sabotages herself often. she is the narrator of the story and its not a role she can bear. because she knows its not her story to tell. so she hands it to theron and lets them paint her as a monster, lets everyone believe she deserves whats coming to her, that shes the scum of the earth. and she knows her side of the story will change things. and she does not give it. she thinks the best way to make up for everything shes done is to finally let theron speak. its their story. and she is their villain. she knows its true. even as shes still trying, still trying to help people, still trying to survive one day at a time, still trying to improve (even if shes not good at it). she is still therons villain. she wont take that from them

4) reverie somethings fucking wrong with them. and you cant even blame them for it. at least when i go on unreality spirals i can get someone to confirm things are real and thatll help pull me out of it. reverie cant trust a word anyone tells them because Nobody Else Is Real. They Are All Made Of Code. of course an npc would tell reverie the world is real. of course the ai living in the game would tell reverie the world is real. what else can they do. the only other player, the only other real person in this game, left them. and now its just reverie. they cant find meaning in a life theyve replayed hundreds and hundreds of times. they get trapped in their own head because thats the only thing thats real. and their head isnt filled with any comfort. they are much too far gone to be helped by the people who care about them. and so the people who care about them choose to make them worse.

reverie is interesting to me because they are an awful person who just needed to let someone hold their hand and help them through their hardest days, but i know if i was in their position, i wouldnt have accepted it either. shattering what little hope they had left was genuinely the only way to get them to snap out of it and want help. if theyd just had a hug, that they could consider real, maybe theyd have been ok. but they couldn't.

5) eden, girl got dragged down hard by reveries spiraling. got treated like less than a person by them so much she believed she wasnt a person either. and none of it really mattered, in the end. everything she went through was about reverie. never her. for the entire story up until that point, it had never been about her, and at her lowest point at least she thought she had some kind of meaning and purpose as she shoved her sword through reveries chest and killed them in a way they couldn't just respawn from. and none of that was about her either. just reverie. any emotions eden felt did not matter for the plot elysium wrote. edens tragedy just fucks me up because she goes through so much for nothing and she still has to just wake up the next day and keep going. and she will. she just has to find something that matters, to her

6) theron this kids fucked up theyre like 10 and experiencing horrors beyond their comprehension

7) elysium,,,,, shes really pretty and also shes trying so damn hard to save reverie but the only way she can do it is to ruin their AND eden's lives. she's a good person. she writes the story and there was nothing she could do!! she just wants everyone to love the world she helped create for them and they Cant and that breaks her heart. she looks like shed give warm hugs and hand me a juice box

8) rowena. somethings wrong with her <3 she is kind, she is awful, she kills for her own fucked up sense of justice, she is the kindest person theron has ever met, she justifies innocent bystanders getting caught in her wrath because if they didnt want to die maybe they shouldnt have been on the wrong side, she is giving a 10 year old reason to hope and love again. she genuinely cannot be considered a good or bad person because every move she makes helps AND harms others at the same time. shes fun!

9) raid, they are another player of the game just like reverie (tho they dont know each other) and they are so comfortable with their life and they make me so happy. they wake up on a day theyve seen hundreds of times, and ask themself what they can do to make it special. life is what you make of it, and raid has made it into a love letter to everything thats ever existed. they have no control over when the resets and reloads happen since reverie is always doing it before they can even consider it, and they are ok with that. they really have a grip on what a joy it is to simply be alive

10) I CANT CHOOSE. FUCK YOU

[nahalism]

How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I’m the “liberal feminists are dumb” anon maybe I should pick another name to identify myself lmao but for someone so young you seem to be someone very wise. I did mean it when I called you intelligent last time, I’m curious about what made you want to learn about esotericism, while I don’t believe in everything esotericism has to say it’s definitely something that has always attracted me too. Like what books do you or have you read?

lmao, its cool come as u are. & im 25 (will be 26 in june). and thank you

i dont want to make this reply a long history of my life story, cause ultimately it will just be a story & one that may have no bearing or relation to what you feel/think. my truth is that i feel each person should believe and follow in what feels true for them. for me that is the principle of being loving and lovable, creating harmony or betterment where i go, and leaving what i touch better than how i found it or at least untainted by my presence. when i fall short of that, i dissect it and apply it to myself painstakingly so that i become a fuller expression of what i want to be and that has always been my nature. esoteric study has helped me tremendously in that pursuit, but it isnt the core reason its my nature to pursue that way of living. ive always loved the stories of people older than me, music, literature, science, history, psychology, anthropology, philosophy, building things, logic, so schools of thought whether they be animism, islam, christianity, hinduism, theosophy, syncretism, the kabbalah, the sybil oracles, are all of interest to me because theyre like giant slabs of all of those subjects put together to pick apart and bring me to a fuller understanding of the world. i take what i find to be true & apply it, leave what i dont agree with & respect it because one day i might find it relevant. but ive always said on here and still feel that its not what you know or how much you know, its what you do with it. knowing something means nothing if it cant be practically applied & my experiences, beyond any book ive ever read, are what lead me to feel conviction in my beliefs. & yes, 😂those experiences are all the typical inexplicable psychic phenomena that are usually palmed off as woowoo. so ill write a list of some authors or books that have been great resources for me over the years below, but what i hope you ultimately get from this is that its what we feel and what we experience that trumps everything. ive met many athiests that are just genuinely good people & i think that example exhibits this best. to not believe in a god or a point to any of all this and still choose to be 'good' for goodness sake is i think what all of these teachings wish for us to arrive at.

- ted andrews and ivan antic (both have many good books), manly p hall - the secret teaching of all ages, helena blavatsky isis unveiled and the secret doctrine, rudolph stiener (many good books all audio also as books on youtube), any resources left behind by nikola tesla and einstein are incredibly to marry with the content in many of these books, florence scovel shinn, krs1 (also many good videos on youtube), ralph waldo emerson has amazing insights, james redfield the celestine prophecy, the monk who sold his ferarri robin sharma, santos bonacci has a good video on syncretism & how the bible relates to astrology and the earth as a tauric field of energy, robert wang quabalistic tarot is phenomenal, and of course the bible, the quaran, the bhagavad gita, the majority of hindu and buddhist texts and whichever gnostic texts you can get your hands on. if you are a sceptic your free to remain a sceptic. the key thing is to allow the texts to meet you where you are, but to know the difference between bias and separating the wheat from the chaff. best of luck & feel free to dm me at any point

[bl00dw1tch]

I think the reason theres such a Great Divide between how people feel about villains getting redemption arcs is the fact that 1.) Nobody knows what redemption means anymore (ie. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with forgiveness), and 2.) People on a large scale lack an understanding of... who these former-villains are made for.

Admittedly this is largely based on a personal theory i have, that They are made for and by people who feel like they've done bad things in the past, things they personally feel remorseful for but, because its the past, cant necessarily do anything about, even if they themselves have improved and grown as an individual. I say that bc i know thats why I value redemption arcs as much as i do.

Am i the same person who did those things anymore? No, not by a long shot. But not everyone would think so, and I'm aware of that by nature of just. Knowing how to imagine myself in other ppls shoes, and understanding that nobody can ever know anybody else's full story + that will never stop anyone from making judgements based on what they DO know.

There's ALWAYS someone out there who will hate you, think you are the literal scum of the earth, the devil incarnate. There are almost 8 billion people on this planet. This is a fact.

And ideally, in knowing this, we'd be able to brush it off and continue on, content in the fact that we can't control how other people feel and willing to improve ourselves despite that fact. However--humans care. By default. We are social creatures that want to feel liked and welcomed because once upon a time, being loathed by the other humans around you had the potential to mean death.

So we worry. Our actions and their repercussions haunt us and make us MISERABLE, and there is nothing we can do to change that fact.

Just as well--that misery? It helps no one. Absolutely fucking no one.

But it cannot simply be shrugged off by most people, as I established before. So, what exactly are we supposed to do? Obviously--we're supposed to work through those feelings. And lo and behold, story crafting is a FANTASTIC way of doing just that! You can be as literal or as figurative as you want, whatever helps YOU, as a writer, breathe easier, and move forward with the energy and confidence to be a better person than you were before tackling those complex, painful, scary feelings.

Redemption arcs are self soothing wish fulfillment--and i mean this in an entirely positive way. We need to be able to believe that we can change FIRST, in order to change at all. If every story we see kills off every single bad person they portray--how does that affect us, subconsciously? What sort of underlying bias does it instill? The idea that once a person does something awful, that theres no turning back? No coming back EVER? Maybe. Who knows! I think that's fucking depressing, close minded, and detrimental to everyone exposed to it.

All I know is that when i was in a short phase of absolutely loathing redemption arcs along with everyone else, I was in a stage of my life where i hated myself to the point of self harm. Because i believed i was genuinely fucking evil for all the things id said and done as an ignorant child, and that there was no way back, and that i NEEDED to suffer to 'repent'. And i did not grow up in a highly Christian household--so Where exactly did that mindset come from, hmm? Sounds a little familiar, don't it.

... The point im trying to get at here, is this;

Redemption arcs are not made for victims.

They are made for perpetrators.

They are made by an author, to show other "bad people" in the world that, "hey. you are not set in stone. You are alive and you have free will and you can make different choices. Here is how, and here is why."

Now--i know what youre about to say. "But jack most redemption arcs suck and dont actually say any of those things!!! They just let the villain get off scott free with a happily ever after without doing any of the hard work on screen of Actually changing!" To which, i have a few things to ask you about.

1.) Was that ACTUALLY an attempted redemption arc? Or did the villain just happen to survive the climax of the story, and was momentarily shown to have had a change of heart, finally?

.... iiiiiiiiiiimplying that they are going to START their work towards redemption.... post-canon?

2.) So what? Sometimes stories and the tropes within them aren't written well. A shitty redemption is not different from a shitty romance or a shitty hero's journey. Not everyone is Shakespeare, and not everything has to be made to your standards. If you don't like it, you don't have to look at it. That doesn't mean you should write off the entire Concept as inherently bad.

And 3.) I will also challenge you to consider just how personal your reading of a character's redemption arc is. Like I'm saying--redeemed villains are not made for victims. They are made to address and dig into the meat of just how awful someone of human intelligence can be, and try to wrangle an idea of HOW that person can come out of it somehow, healthier, happier, and kinder.

They have to address sensitive topics, more often than not. Like it is literally required--if the villain never does anything BAD, theres no story. Theres nothing for them to pursue redemption ABOUT. And those sensitive topics can bring out the ire of people who have been through them--obviously! And that is not the fault of the viewer! You have every right to feel how you feel, and hate a villain as much as you want for it--but try to REMEMBER that that is where your feelings of distaste are coming from, when attempting to criticize the thing you are watching--especially if youre going to be especially vitriolic about it in the faces of people who enjoy that villain, and their redemption arc.

You have every right to not like it--but take a moment to analyze WHY before claiming it's "bad".

It probably just wasn't written for you.

We live in a world that already encourages so much cruelty--but, people can heal and feel motivated to do better by watching redemption arcs play out for characters that they see themselves in.

Even if you think it's shallow--does it actually MATTER if it is or not? I don't think so. I don't give a fuck what's going on in someones head--as long as they are treating the people and world around them with kindness and respect, I think that's all that should matter. Actions speak louder than words and all that. People are allowed to want to be better because it feels good. People NEED to be allowed to want to feel good, if it means shirking harmful habits and mentalities. Do you get what im saying?

Obviously there's plenty of nuance to these situations--in regards to fictional characters, there is inherently more give in what a character can do. They are not real. Nobody is actually getting hurt. So, pushing them to the FARTHEST LIMITS of how bad a person can be, and coming back? It's like a power fantasy, with a self reflective twist. And power fantasies are not inherently bad, either.

How heartwarming is it, to imagine that even that terrible tyrant who slaughtered innocents and razed cities can feel remorse? For them to give everything they have to help rebuild what they destroyed, and show compassion for the people they've hurt, and vowing to never let it happen again?

Because if even that terrible man on the screen can change--then of course I can change, too. Of course I, a person who's merely made a few callous comments and emotional scarred an ex by being a toxic asshole, can be better. I HAVE to be. It is an obligation.

An obligation that I may have otherwise seen as an insurmountable obstacle. Because I did. Thats what I saw it is as. I had been convinced that every bad thing I did, made me who I was. That everyone could just see it on my face--and that if they didn't, all they'd need to do was look a little bit closer before being repulsed by what they saw. It made me bitter and mean and I had so few friends I felt like I could actually be open with. I am still dealing with the repercussions of that mentality today--it is the source of quite literally All Of My Woes.

You've all seen my vent posts. All that shit? Consequences of this. This is why my lows go as low as they do--and This is why I am SO passionate about my villainous blorbos. This is why I love redemption arcs. They remind me that there is still hope for me--that there is still hope for everyone. You might enjoy living as a pessimist--but not everyone has the fortitude to maintain that attitude on a healthy level.

So when you see someone who is enjoying a villian you hate, and its making silly content of them being redeemed and goofing off and being happy and alive and loved--have a little compassion. That person its probably dealing with some shit, too. So just let it be.

[changbinsboobs]

isn't it generally frowned upon within the tarot community to be reading people's energies without their consent ? /gen

Idk if thats a genuine question or if your intentions just to caluminate🙄 i really don't get people that don't like something and instead of just minding their own damn business decide to go out of their way and try to make others miserble🤡

Anyways, for the possibility that the question is actually just of pure curiosity I'll answer it, might also help others who are wondering.

So, i believe anyone can read based on their own morals and comfort level - if the intentions of the reader are pure there isn't any harm being done. This means for example if a certain reader reads not because they are just curious but because they are madly in love (obsessed) with a certain idol and genuinely want to invade their privacy with their nasty energy to know if they're dating or not. And then interpret it in a twisted way cuz of their obsessiveness.

Another point being, when you read at home about your siblings, or a friend, or how ur crush feels about you etc - aren't you reading on someone without their "consent"? I doubt you go around to people asking them if you can read tarot about them and if you do sry but ur weird - this would cause them more discomfort if you just done ur reading in peace. And why is that?

Because energy is SMART!!!!!! Ive said it before and Ill say it again - YOU CANT ACCESS ENERGY THE OWNER DOESNT WANT YOU TO ACCESS!!!!!!!!!

Or maybe you could try, cuz you don't know any boundaries - that would be harassment of the individual then, yeah. But just tapping into energy thats already there is not any different than seeing. Like you deciding to put glasses on to read better or whatever. Feeling energy is an innate gift we all have and im doing nothing different than that, the tarot is just to help me focus on certain aspects as to not get overwhelmed. Its not some sort of witchcraft or something i have to force or go out of my way to do! Because it comes naturally, not only to me but to every person on earth. Its just in your hands how much u want to develop that sense.

And as for the idols, I've also said that before, but ill say it again if i must - I've noticed their energy being much much eager to talk than mundane people in my life. Why - i assume because they habe so little freedom and opportunity to actually express themselves and be true to themselves. Every individual craves to be authentic - and I've come to believe readings might even be in a way therapeutic for certain idols' energy (not the idol itself!!!! Their energy!) and at the end of the day they are public figures - they are bound to be in peoples thoughts, mouths and to incite curiosity and...other stuff. They are public! And they know what they chose. There's boundaries of course don't get me wrong - stuff like stalking, useless hate etc is just not ok for ANYONE!!! But some gossip, some readings, some thirsting etc - those are harmless and don't impact the idol in any way CUZ THEY DONT KNOW US!!! Not to mention i believe readings like that actually can really help with an idols image/treatment since those just humanize them and take people out of their delulu bubbles (hopefully) which makes for a much humaner treatment in my opinion.

So yeah i talked a lot about many different topics and to finish off and to answer the actual question - im not chronically online and i don't blindly follow what people yap about on the bandwagon. Im also really not into the whole "don't offend me cuz im a snowflake and will break down at the smallest inconvenience". So I'd tell you that i don't really know. I learned tarot long time ago, i still follow some quality people i resonate with and most importantly i follow my own heart and my own logic and my own morals. And what this or that community thinks isn't really my problem because i have a head on my shoulders and can decide for themselves. And if it actually was so frowned upon, then maybe there wouldn't have been so many tarot reader blogs and channels🤡

[leophnyx]

As the flu dies within me, I feel more like myself these days. With that comes a desire to just be around others who allow questioning, and in turn will question me. I really miss the days when people used to question me, and although I just missed the days of grilling by the community, I sometimes cant help but wish for them in order to try it. (Dont worry, I 100% get why harsh grilling died out, and I'm not looking to disrespect anyone's trauma with it. It's just the fantastical thinking of someone who wasn't there.)

Sometimes I gaze upon the old Werelist and I find myself longing for a similar environment- one where we could have down-to-earth discussions and talk about things without having to neccesarily forgo critical thinking and questioning others. Of course, I never fit in seeing as how I believed in p-shifting and couldn't stand the ableism, but it's a bit surreal to see people there who I'd otherwise share so much in common with. At this point I'll never go back on the Werelist for a variety of reasons, but I find myself longing for a forum, place, something where I can go to discuss myself and this (without all of the ableism and animal abuse, of course).

We've made dozens of friends by questioning and being questioned, and I genuinely find it calming. I don't find it comfortable for others to accept what I say uncritically. There will be some amount of pushback (logically, seeing as how this is a different experience and all) and I do accept that, I just find it uncomfortable (and perhaps concerning) when people accept me uncritically like that. Which is unhealthy for me (to not be questioned) seeing as how it helps me figure myself out. I don't want people to get too wild with it (like don't go questioning personal details out of me, which is what made the original grilling so abusive) but I do like some amount of cognitive pushback.

I don't think I'll find healthy questioning in the therian community at this point. Even if I was one, the type of questions I want asked are those that most there cannot ask me. I am an animal and so my natural instinct is to go there... but maybe I should stick to my own kind.

But questioning to this extent isn't often found in other supernatural communities, which makes me wonder if something I'm doing is wrong? Is it really healthy to question and doubt this much, especially when they are your experiences? Maybe they know something I don't- I've reblogged a post on here before that said that the only reason why someone would question and introspect so much is if they knew something was "wrong" with the way they were thinking and feeling. Secure people have no reason to introspect, and so no reason to doubt.

Most of the community is on social media now, so forums are a no go. I guess I could try socializing with others, forming more text posts, etc. There was a thread style called The Hot Seat, in which someone would jump in and offer to be questioned or question others, in and out at their own discretion... I wonder if it would work here?

[diorexia444]

he held my face in his hands and told me I was everything he's ever wanted. that I was beautiful and smart and funny and sweet and caring. i know he believed those things too, or at least I chose to think he did. as much as I nearly convinced myself he played me, and it was all a lie, I don't think that kind of passion and adoration could be faked. he told me he adored me under the stars. maybe he kid himself and I was merely a victim to his foolishness. he got drunk one time and told me I was the sweetest, purest girl he had ever known. at the time, even in my faded state of mind, I remember being confused by what exactly he meant by that. even though I didn't entirely understand it, I liked it. i liked that he though of me as pure, like an angel. it made me feel clean and innocent and whole, everything the young girl inside me craves. i know he knows I'm beautiful. he knows I'm smart. he knows I'm kind. i don't have to post pictures of myself all dolled up, or reading and studying, or showing off all the fun I'm having. i know I couldn't have been more beautiful or charming. the fault doesn't lie on me. i did everything right, I know I did. i know I am his dream girl. i feel so confident in my heart that I was placed on this earth by God to stand alongside this man. i never really believed in soulmates until after our first date. all of our desires and grandiose dreams in life line up to a t. i remember him saying it was 'scary' how much he liked me and how perfect i was. i didn't realize how genuinely he meant those words until it was too late. he was scared, or is, i guess. invisible string theory, right? he'd go on and on about all of our connections and how mindblowing it was to him. every conversation revealed a new tie, and he'd always be left astonished. it was all perfect. puzzle pieces coming together. God's plan in motion, undoubtedly. i know i did everything right. i know he's scared, but God does it hurt. one day he won't be scared anymore, he'll come back. i know in my heart he will. he pulled away because he said the timing wasn't right but i know that’s just a front. maybe its a cover he genuinely believes, or maybe he, too, remembers that night on the beach when he laid on top of me, hands on my face, telling me how scared he was. i think something in me made him feel vulnerable, hence him being scared. when we were alone, he always acted like a little kid, but in a way that made it clear he doesn't let down his guard often. he'd get nervous, jump around, be so jittery, looking for any way he could find to release his energy. Lord, he couldn't hold eye contact for the life of him for the entire first week. i know, logically, that he's being childish now. all my friends say he needs to act like the grown man he is, but i can't help but sympathize with the inner little kid i saw in him. he told me that i was everything he wanted in a partner and that he didn't want to date anyone unless its going to be his future wife, and while i believe the conscious, mature side of him can wholeheartedly want that, i cant help but remember him looking at me, with the eyes once of a child, telling me he's scared. i can't waste time racking my brain about what I could have done better, because I know that's not what this is about. i know one day when he is ready he will come back, and its up to me to decide what to do when he does.

[angel-uhrr]

here we fucking go again

so you broke up. and this time, it seems like it’s the end. and you know logically that there’s nothing that can fix it but healing and time, but of course you miss him and of course you log onto this stupid fucking blog because of course you come in here everytime that you feel like garbage. 

the personal tag on this tumblr is rapidly becoming a diary of all the shitty things that have happened in your life - your first failed relationship (fuck you t*******), your depression from first year undergrad (and again in first year grad school), your rejection from med school, and now your second failed relationship. prime yourself for more entries from me when im too distracted to work because lord knows that this breakup hurts more than the last one because this guy is a genuinely good guy. 

or at least i think he is. i want to believe he is. i didnt spend three years with a guy who isnt a good guy. i didnt spend three years with a guy who didn’t love me the best way i have ever experienced in my life (although i don’t really have that much experience with it). i didnt spend three years with a guy who made me feel less than in any way, i spent three years with a guy who learned how to love me and wanted to keep loving me. 

he just mistook love for feelings when love is, in fact, choices. i cant really fault him for that. i cant even say i havent been there. but part of me will always wonder what couldve happened to us if the conversation went a different way. 

1) if he told me sooner, maybe. 

2) if i didnt rush into suggesting to break up, perhaps. 

3) if we took the time we said we would apart so he could make the decision that he had to make with clear eyes, i don’t know. 

that’s not what happened though.

here’s where i do a very long rundown of why those what ifs are not going to help you. 

1) if he told you sooner: he didn’t. that’s on him. you can’t do anything about this so don’t even consider this one. he didn’t. and even if he did, you don’t know if this outcome would’ve happened regardless. 

2) if you didn’t suggest breaking up: that’s not only on you. that’s on both of you for agreeing about it. 

but also, even if it was all on you, that’s a natural reaction to how things went. say you didn’t suggest breaking up, what would you be doing right now? calling him and feeling like he isn’t in it? doubting the kind words that he tells you because of his lack of feelings? trying to work things out with someone who clearly, so fucking clearly wasn’t sure if he wanted to? no. angela, no. you deserve to be with someone who, despite feeling that way, tells you firmly and confidently that he wants to make it work with you no matter what. no second thoughts or hesitation whatsoever just because of something as flimsy as feelings. 

3) if we took our time apart: that was also on him. he should not have played with your feelings by asking you out like that. he should not have tried to make you feel like he had a decision when he didn’t. he should not have used the words that he did to ask you out tomorrow when he didn’t know for certain that he wanted to be with you. no. no. that is not how it works. not to mention, this time right now? this is time apart.

it’s just time apart with no false hope that you will be together again. and that is what you need to properly focus on yourself. you know it too, you aren’t a dumb bitch. you’re in fucking grad school, near halfway done for pete’s sake. you’re quadruple published and are more than this relationship. you know it too. because you’re so smart, you’ll know exactly what im going to say next: 

getting better to get back together should not be your focus. 

get better for your own sake. get better so you can walk the earth proud of yourself. get better for the loved ones who did choose to stick around and walk you through this challenging time. 

you told him a billion and one times that “i was happy with my life before you, if we end, i can be happy again, because i am my own person.” you meant that shit. and he is the same, he can be happy on his own too. and should be. 

anyways, all this to say that you are amazing. come on here to vent anytime you’re bothering your friends a little too much. i’m always here to listen. 

[stillavoidingbaddays]

-if you're anti-women, get the fuck off my blog -if you're against women having access the medical healthcare, get the fuck off my blog -if you excuse rapists for impregnating a women without her consent, get the fuck off my blog -if you think overturning roe vs wade was the right decision, get the fuck off my blog -if you disallow women to get abortions because "that's what God intended", get the fuck off my blog

If you're anti-abortion, get the fuck off my blog

[4townlove]

can you do some basic headcanons on the 4town members, like the things they like and basic personality traits?

hey there. thank for being my first request haha ✨ but without further ado, here we go

4⭐Town Headcanons: Personality Traits

⭐Robaire

he's an early bird who enjoys the quiet of the early mornings, especially when it's warm enough to stand on his balcony and sing into the morning with the birds. singing brings him so much joy

he greets everyone in french every day, and usually has his day planned out. not extensively but enough to know what he needs to do

obnoxious vocal warm ups. all. the. time. everywhere. and i mean, everywhere

his worst fear is either losing his voice or getting hiccups while on stage. he's likely had a handful of nightmares about it in 4towns early days

he takes every show extremely seriously, to the point where he gets annoyed when Aaron T keeps joking non stop, but he means well

if he gets properly annoyed, he'll cuss and complain in french

he is very honest and frequently compliements the other guys. not all of them are used to it but they do appreciate it, even if they roll their eyes at his genuine sincerity

⭐ Jesse

early bird but not by choice, on account of his kids and being a member of 4town. any chance to get a few minutes or, gods willing, an hour more of sleep is a blessing.

knows the other guys' orders from their local coffee shop and turns up, sometimes a tad late, with all their drinks and sometimes breakfast snacks

despite his distaste for getting up early, he is usually one of the last to leave the dance or recording studio. being the oldest member has made him somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to his performance, wanting to do his best to "measure up" to the other younger members

no matter what he's doing, a message from or about his kids will take all his attention immediately for at least 30 minutes. do not try and get him to take his attention away from checking on his kids. he may not forgive you for a while if you insinuate anything else is more important

he does his best to keep from fast food but he cant deny his kids and every once in a while, happily allows himself a little too

⭐ Taeyoung

an afternoon bird most of the time, so usually trudges into the studio hidden in large thick hoodie, super quiet and mumbly. he warms up and wakes up once he has his sweet coffee though

whistles beautifully like a dove out of habit when he's not doing much. you can often hear it echoing through the halls of the studio building.

being the ray of precious sunshine he is, he will often just go up to the other guys to ask if they're alright, if they need anything, what they're working on, and more often than not, his genuine joy will get them inspired to keep pushing on

he wears his heart on his sleeve. he works hard during practice, and asks for help when he needs it. if somethings wrong, he'll say, albeit quietly. if he's sad, he will cry. but if he's happy he will gush to the ends of the earth seemingly endlessly and its infectious joy too

often makes trinkets and small gifts, often consisting of dove feathers shed from the doves he cares for. necklaces, dreamcatchers, feather and flower crowns, and sometimes a specifically chosen shade of nailpolish that he believes matches the member's heart and personality best.

⭐ Aaron T

he's.... an any hour bird really. if he's not careful, he could be up all night working on a new rap or texting Aaron Z begging him to listen to what he's written so far. he has alot of energy and inspiration but do not give him caffeine. do not.

he's a spot of joy like Taeyoung and often get together to surprise the others. if he's alone though, he pranks the other guys alot, usually by hiding around corners and jumping out at them.

despite his goofing, he is very genuine and honest. he has a big heart, but that also means he gets easily annoyed when things dont quite go his way and tends to sulk. but only because 4town is his passion

raps his good mornings, good afternoons, good nights, hellos and goodbyes. always.

usually a look from Aaron Z is the only thing to get him to know he needs to tone down the goofing.

he loves the other guys alot, calling them his brothers and treating them just as dearly.

⭐ Aaron Z

very early bird, earlier than Robaire. he's always the first into the studio and always the last to leave, working hard always.

sometimes he pushes himself too hard and doesnt take enough time for himself to rest and have downtime. only if all the guys confront him at once will he consider taking a break

he's the only one who's immune to Aaron T's pranks.

being the choreographer of 4town, he is very atuned to music and can play alot of instruments. drums, guitar, piano, triangles etc

he is very close to all the members as a group but also individually, working with them on specific things and deepening their friendship through their progress.

he doesnt say much, but evrry once in a while, when he's really happy with how theyre all doing, he'll nod and mutter out a mumbled "hell yeah" through a grin and hearing it brings all the others close to tears.

passes notes of encouragement under the doors of the other members before every show, and seeing them ready to go when theyrr getting ready to go on stage, it always, always, makes him smile.