#i gigglesnorted so loud

[bigbrainkatrina]

We Do Everything Together - a Kim/Ron fanfic

“I mean it, Ron,” Kim straightens her posture and rests her elbows on her knees. “You could be a comedian, you’re like, seriously so funny, my jaw hurts right now from laughing so much.”

Ron laughs, because he’s still got one more giggle in him, and wipes some happy tears from his face. “Thanks, Kim. That means a lot. Uh, I mean—me? As a comedian? Nah, I’d rather just be your sidekick, you know and—”

“Partner,” Kim corrects. “You’re my partner, okay? I’m gonna start correcting people too.”

It’s the dumbest shit—seriously.

But it’s also kinda one of the happiest moments out of Kim’s fifteen years alive.

Drakken has been really into videos lately, which is always fun because he’s like,  so bad  at it. He’s done evil plan announcement videos out of focus, out of frame, out of sync, you name it, he’s botched it. This week he didn’t even send the full video, it cuts off as he’s about to name the day Shego will rob this stupid lab in Chicago.

All Team Possible has to go off of is that they know it’s going down this week. 

Which means Kim and Ron have to do a stakeout. Really, the two of them should do shifts so the other can get rest without losing eyes on Shego. But neither of them want to do that, so they have Wade run the daytime surveillance.

Kim gigglesnorts and crumples in to the lip of the roof, spilling canned soda onto the brittle stone ground.

Ron laughs along with her, arms waving around as he tries to imitate this scene from  Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation.  “Yeah, so like, you got this guy hanging off the plane and he’s shouting,” Ron bends his neck down and whisper-shouts. “  Benji! Open the door! ” 

Kim smiles and draws her knees up to her chest.

“And Benji’s hitting all these buttons, and uh,” Ron taps away at the air, working up a furious sweat. “And he can’t read the thing because it’s in Russian or whatever, and everyone’s yelling at him,  Benji open the door aaaah !” And finally he finds a button and he clicks it and the thing opens and…” He slows down, looking at Kim eagerly. “Go on, guess.”

Kim looks around as if he’d be asking someone else. “Oh, um, um, I don’t know, I don’t watch many movies. The door opens?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll learn,” Ron pats her on the head like a child and it makes her laugh so hard. “It’s the wrong door!” He gestures his arms wide and it makes Kim laugh again. She thinks she might be crying. “And Tom Cruise is like actually holding onto this actual airplane that’s up in the sky, like it’s not a special effect, and he’s screaming  THAT’S THE WRONG DOOR  and—”

Ron bursts into giggles himself and falls backwards with a loud  thud!  “It’s a great movie, Kim, I’d be down to rewatch it with you.”

That does sound really nice. Kim giggles again and stares at him, and he’s looking at her with so much  affection . “I’d love to, Ron.”

And boy, does her saying that make him smile. From ear to ear. “Oh, God, Kim, and there’s this other scene—”

“Wait,” Kim holds a hand out. “Don’t tell me.”

Ron raises an eyebrow in confusion.

“You, uh, have a tendency to overhype some stuff,” Kim says and Ron blanches. Immediately, all of the warmth in Kim’s chest goes cold and she feels frigid and awful. “Shoot, I’m sorry, I didn’t—I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, I meant like…”

Ron eyes her carefully, still frowning.

Kim snaps her fingers, hoping it’ll accelerate her brain, which it doesn’t. “Um, so I haven’t told you this before, I don’t think, but I’m not very good at imagining things. But the way you explain things, it’s so… elaborate. And vibrant. I can see everything and um,” she bites her lip. “Sometimes I think you’re funnier than the things you’re explaining to me, Ron.”

It takes a second for that to process with Ron and wow he blushes so hard. “Oh, well, uh, heh heh…”

“I mean it, Ron,” Kim straightens her posture and rests her elbows on her knees. “You could be a comedian, you’re like, seriously so funny, my jaw hurts right now from laughing so much.”

Ron laughs, because he’s still got one more giggle in him, and wipes some happy tears from his face. “Thanks, Kim. That means a lot. Uh, I mean—me? As a comedian? Nah, I’d rather just be your sidekick, you know and—”

“ Partner, ” Kim corrects. “You’re my partner, okay? I’m gonna start correcting people too.”

Ron doesn’t understand what Kim sees in him. Sometimes he thinks it’s all just some big joke, and that one day Ashton Kutcher is going to come out with the  Punk’d  crew and Kim will laugh and laugh and laugh and he’ll cry.

He’s dead worthless. He can’t fight, he can’t be trusted to do anything complicated, and he’s just generally really stupid.

Kim is perfect. He can’t even believe that they’re friends. To this day. He just… doesn’t understand.

He just wants her to be happy. To be safe. She’s so cruel to herself, he knows she’s really hurting and half the time she’s smiling it’s just so she can put on a show, so that no one will worry about her. 

God, she thinks he could be a comedian? That’s such a Kim thing to say.

He’s sure she only said it so he wouldn’t feel so bad for making so many bad jokes.

He loves her though. Always has, always will. 

Kim gets her great, horrible idea as the hotel clerk slinks up to the front desk, and Kim blushes so hard because it’s so embarrassing. She knows she should ask Ron if it’s okay, but she’s… scared.

The clerk looks down at the two of them “Hello, how can we help you?” 

Kim blushes even harder, and Ron raises an eyebrow. 

“Can we…” Kim says softly and stares at the desk instead of the clerk. She swallows, summons up some courage, and looks up. “...have a room for two? One bed, please and thank you.”

If Ron were a cartoon character, his jaw would drop off its hinges.

“Um,” Kim recovers fast. “But can you charge us for two rooms?”

And she holds out her parents’ credit card. Her parents would be ferociously peeved with her if they found out what she was up to.

The clerk rolls their eyes knowingly; they probably aren’t supposed to do what Kim just asked, but they seem to understand. It takes a few minutes after that, Kim thought they would just pay and go, but apparently they have to set up a tab instead. Because there might be extra fees for room service and stuff. 

(Usually Wade takes care of any travel/itinerary strugs.)

Ron completely loses focus and stares off into the distance. Into the deepest, darkest existential dread, his heart pounding.

They walk to the hotel room in silence. Until they get to the door.

Kim holds her hand towards the door knob, only to reel her hand back right away. “Hey, um, wanna get food? I’m hungry.”

Ron scratches his neck, kinda eager to just get to the point and figure out what Kim is doing. “You don’t want to do room service? I’m kinda down, never done that before.”

“It’s too expensive,” Kim shakes her head. “I know it’s my parents’ money, but I’d feel guilty.” She waits a second. “Plus there’s a Bueno Nacho near here!”

Ron smiles. “You always know how to make me say  Yes  to things, KP.”

Kim doesn’t understand what it is Ron sees in her that makes him want to do these crazy fucking missions. 

Sometimes she gets scared, and she thinks maybe Ron is a plant. Like he’s some dude hired to make sure she doesn’t get herself killed so that no one ever gets in any legal trouble. 

If that’s the case, he’s really good at it. 

Ron has saved the world more times than he seems to consciously understand. He’s tricked villains, made perfect distractions… Hell, sometimes she gets so tied up with Shego that it’s Ron who thwarts Drakken.

She loves him. 

She wouldn’t want to do Team Possible if he weren’t around. He makes it fun, he makes the neverending nightmare seem like some silly adventure. He keeps her calm. He makes sure she isn’t lonely.

And what does she do for him? 

Nothing. She’s  obsessed  with the missions. She has a really hard time talking about non-mission things when she’s just hanging out at him. She used to have hobbies and interests, but now it’s just Team Possible. She’s a machine.

When she gets home from school on a rare day where she hasn’t heard anything from Wade, she just sort of lays in bed and stares at the ceiling, waiting for her Kimmunicator to go off. 

She’s a loser. People just don’t see it because she’s pretty. 

But Ron will figure it out soon enough, but even then, she doubts she’ll ever stop loving him.

Kim shuts the lights off and blue moonlight trails into the room, running across her face. Ron stands at the opposite end of the bed, in front of one of the curtains. She can’t see his face really, the light behind him frames his body like a rimlight, the rest of his body cloaked in silhouette. 

He’s nervous, she is too. She thinks he knows what he wants.

She doesn’t want to talk about it, she really hopes he doesn’t ask anything. But she needs consent. Because maybe she’s misreading him. Maybe he doesn’t want this. Maybe she suffers more than him because she’s so weak.

Ron steps forward and the light shifts to his face, and he looks… grim. 

“Ron,” Kim says carefully, her voice and cadence soft. “I, um… feel like an adult most days, and, um…”

“Oh geez,” Ron whispers out loud by accident. He immediately covers his mouth. “Oops, um, sorry! I didn’t—uh—heheh…” He pinches his turtleneck and pulls it away from his flesh. “Awkwaaaaard.”

Kim gigglesnorts, and then promptly covers her mouth too because gigglesnorting is embarrassing as fuck. “No, I don’t mean it like that… heh. I, um, I just… I feel like… we’re supposed to pretend. To be older. For like, other people.”

Ron drops the goofy guy act as he realizes that Kim is getting awful serious. 

(Kim is always serious about the missions, and about Ron’s personal growth & development. Never about herself, she makes more sacrifices than anyone he knows.)

“A-and I don’t know, I’m sorry if this is like, weird,” Kim pulls at her hair anxiously, and subconsciously steps backwards, sinking away into the dark. “I just, I really liked the time we spent together and I’m sorry, I should have asked if you’d be okay with it, I just don’t—want to be alone right now.” She closes her mouth, and looks back up at Ron. “I want to keep this going. D-do you understand?”

Ron thinks about that, and he… sorta feels the same way, too. Hell, he  loves Kim. It’s the only reason he does this. Because he cares so deeply for her and he doesn’t want to fuck off to sleep in some other room alone when it doesn’t have to be that way.

Kim and him do everything together. Why not this?

The glimmer in Kim’s eyes shifts and she seems really focused.

And somehow he picks up  exactly what it is that she’s been too afraid to say out loud, so he turns away from Kim and pulls off his black sweater.

“Oh geez,” Kim grunts and turns away in a panic, grabbing the hem to her crop top.

Ron snorts. “Too true, KP. Too true.”

She snorts right back; he always knows how to make her laugh. 

It doesn’t take her long to strip, it just feels… weird. And cold. The room is a lot colder than she figured it would be. She wants to just dive under the blankets and stay there, but simultaneously, it feels wrong to just leave her clothes on the floor. Should she fold them? She isn’t sure what adults usually do in this sort of situation.

Her skin from head to toe erupts in goosebumps from the chill and Kim promptly makes up her mind. Without turning to look at Ron, she backpedals and drops her hip onto the bed. Carefully, she lifts the corner of the comforter and drags it over her thigh. Shivering, she lifts her knee and slides her other leg in, and presses her palms into the mattress. She kicks her legs out and lowers herself under the blankets. It’s warm here.

A quiet  ploomph  from the other side assures her that Ron is doing something of the same.

She turns over to her side to look at him and there is still a little bit of distance between them. Ron looks at her, eyes wide and shining, and then he laughs. She laughs back. It is kind of silly to be so vulnerable so suddenly. 

“Stay there,” she whispers. “But um, turn the oth-other way.”

“Okay.”

Kim furrows her brow and shimmies her body across the mattress, careful to keep herself covered. She’s  never slept naked before, nor has she ever shared a bed with someone.

It’s a lot of sensations at once. Her skin gliding over bunched up sheets. Soft blankets falling on naked limbs. Warm touching her whole body. And the occasionally bounce in the mattress as Ron flips onto his side, away from Kim.

She slides in behind him. They’re the same height, and their bodies fit in well together. Her knee presses against the back of his leg, and her arms wrap around his body. Her chin presses against his narrow shoulder. 

“Is… is this okay?” she squeaks.

“Mm,” he hums. 

They lay there for some time. 

Ron’s skin is much softer than hers. Plusher. She can sink her fingers in deeper than she can with her own body, which is taut with muscle, aside from the occasional baby fat that’s still waiting to get pubertied away.

She wonders if she should feel more nervous. 

Ron’s skin on hers is so much, and she blushes as she wonders how he must feel, since he can probably feel more of her than the other way around, since she’s, um, the big spoon. The blankets trap so much heat in with them, and Ron’s body radiates warm. The stark change in temperature makes Kim sweat at first, but soon after it comes to her she calms down. 

“Sorry I’m so cold,” she says gently, voice tinkling like a drizzle of raindrops battering a tin roof. 

“Huh? Kim you’re like super warm,” Ron whispers. “It must be me, sorry. I’m always kinda—”

“No you’re warm too,” she whispers back and relaxes, trying her best to nix the tension in her shoulders so she can just be there with him. 

“I love you,” her voice fades away as she drifts off to sleep.

Ron yawns. “Samesies, Kim. Samesies…”

[ageless-aislynn]

Heh, I woke up this morning thinking I was late to record a new Halo game ASMR episode.

What I remember from the dream was that I'd record soft-spoken ASMR commentary over selected bits of my gameplay. The funny part about that is that I TOTALLY used to sit here and talk out loud while I played. Thankfully, I was generally alone in the room at the time, lol. But the idea of me taking that and then recording it as ASMR...?

Well, I guess you haven't lived until you've heard me soft-speaking things like:

Arrrgh, Chief, we're taking it right in the face, aren't we? Yep. Right. In. The. Face.

Kat, you are NOT too good to get in the back of the Troop Transport. Let the guy with the rocket launcher sit in the passenger seat.

What happened to that Revenant? Did it just launch itself into space? Did we know it could launch itself into space?

My dude, I gave you a rocket launcher. Use it. What? Did you have to stop and read the manual? Shoot some Covvies before we get smoked.

Awwwww, yeah, Halo 2 physics when you've got all the fun skulls on mean you can LAUNCH a Scorpion off the bridge to spin away into space, yesssssss.

(If Kat tells me that I'm outstanding) Why yes, I am out standing... in my field. *Noble Six strikes a heroic pose though we're usually not in a field that I am out standing in, sadly* 🤷‍♀️😂

Don't worry, marines, Daddy's here now. You won't get all deadified, I promise.*

*I generally say this to the marines in the Warthog with Chief on Silent Cartographer in CE. If you don't take them alllll the way with you through the level and back out again in that 'hog, you'll find them dead under the Warthog if you bypass being picked up by Foehammer and go looking for them. Yes, UNDER the Warthog, I have no idea why. 🤷‍♀️But I'm not letting that happen to my marines, no way! C'mon, gang, we're cramming this Warthog into buildings and down hallways into places it was never meant to go because I'm KEEPING you alive.

I decided to share this with y'all because I hope the very idea of it will give you at least the same sort of chuckle that it gave me. 😂

Channel advertisement: "Come along and relax with Aislynn as she softly chants, "OH FRICK OH FRICK OHHHHH FRICK" after she accidentally sticks her foot with a plasma grenade. Enjoy peaceful moments as she takes a turn too sharp and rolls the Warthog a few times. Feel your soul soothed and cleansed as it takes, like, a dozen shots to finally get a Jackal to stop dodging and actually lower his shield so she can kablooey him. All this joy and more can be yours if you LIKE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE to AislynnGamesASMR.**"

Loud announcer voice: "BROUGHT TO YOU BY RAID SHADOW LEGENDS."

(I mean, if you've heard one sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends commercial, you've heard them all, right? 😂😉)

**Not a real Youtube channel, natch. 😉But...

it should be.

*gigglesnort*

Okay, that's it for now.

Six Aislynn out.

[spainkitty]

The Night Before the Hinterlands (a.k.a. To Whatever Friendship Means)

Lanil's Pieces Masterlist

They sat around the table in The Singing Maiden Tavern. Servers ran to and fro, the minstrel sang and strummed her lute, and people talked and laughed over each other, but the three of them sat in companionable silence. It was...

Nice.

Calm.

A far cry from chasing demons and closing rifts and discussing war table operations with people whom had a hundred times her experience, but somehow waited for her decisions. It was... invigorating, having that much knowledge and control over the board, being more than a pawn in the world's game of chess, but it was also exhausting after waking up without a lifetime of memories five days ago.

Tomorrow they'd head out to the Hinterlands. At last, Lavellan would tackle her first real job as Herald of Andraste--she shuddered at the very idea of using that title with a straight face. She honestly couldn't wait to get away from that damn war table and her three advisors, get her head on straight and remember what she was good at: shooting lightning bolts at fools. She gulped at the mulled wine in her too large mug and choked slightly.

"Slow down, Shortie. The night's not going anywhere," Varric joked, patting her back with a bit too much strength. She wiped at her mouth with the back her hand and glowered at him.

"That is patently untrue, Varric. Each minute that passes means the night is, in fact, going somewhere," Solas disagreed in his most pretentious tone. It made Lavellan snicker as Varric's face contorted through too many emotions to parse.

"All right, Chuckles. Just for that, the next round's on you."

Lavellan winked at Solas. He merely rolled his eyes, so discreetly she almost missed it despite looking right at him.

"So. Chuckles." She pointed at Solas. "Shortie." She pointed at herself. "Any other nicknames for people I know? What about Josephine?"

"That one's easy. Ruffles," Varric raised his mug in a mock toast. Lavellan grinned. "And then there's Nightingale for our spymaster. Not actually my work, that was her codename the first time I met her, but anything else would probably get my tongue cut out."

"Very true."

"And of course, there's Curly."

"Curly?" Lavellan repeated thoughtfully. It definitely didn't suit Cassandra, so who-- An image of Cullen, with his barely tamed blondishreddish curls flashed in her mind and she barked a laugh. "Cullen!"

"Exactly! You should've seen him in Kirkwall. He was more ginger than blond then, and never wore his Templar helmet. I swear he couldn’t put one on over the curls!"

Lavellan's head tipped back, chair rocking slightly as she laughed.

"Doncha wanna pull one? Just a little?" she joked, holding up two fingers close together. "I'm sad it used to be more red. Where'd it go?"

"It must've gone with the beard," Varric sighed, overly doleful. "I don't know what he's doing with his face these days."

Lavellan gigglesnorted into her mug.

"But no nickname for our Seeker?" Solas asked, smirking slightly.

"Bitch."

Solas snorted out loud, his perfect composure broken. Lavellan laid down her head on the tabletop and cried her laughter into the woodgrain. She forced herself up, feeling flushed and floaty, and grinned. Wider and easier than she had in days.

"Come on, Cassandra is great! If I can forgive her for imprisoning me, then you should, too." She sighed and propped her chin on her fist. "The more she disapproves of me, the more I want her to notice me. I got her to smile once and I swear, I heard birds break out into chorus."

"Don't go chasing that dragon, Shortie. She'll turn and burn you before you can blink," Varric advised.

"She's too honest for that. She'll warn me first, then burn me. And I'll thank her for the warning. Do you think she likes women?"

"Please, no," Solas muttered, rubbing his forehead.

"So that's your type, Shortie?" Varric asked, shaking his head. "I thought Hawke's taste was bad. Well... at least the Seeker won't blow up a Chantry. She has that going for her."

Lavellen shook her head, smirking. "Not really. I don't think. It's funny watching Solas get a twitch, though," she admitted, reaching out to poke at the middle of Solas' brow. He grabbed her finger mid-reach.

"You are impossible."

She beamed at him. "Thank you."

He muttered in elvish under his breath and got to his feet.

"I believe I'm supposed to buy the next round." He left the table, shaking his head.

Lavellan watched him go, smiling dopily and chin on her fists.

"So that's your type."

She rolled her eyes and faced Varric's knowing little smirk.

"You love teasing him more than I do. Is he your type?"

"My heart belongs only to Bianca. Everyone knows that," Varric said, hand over his heart.

"And now I do, too. Isn't Bianca your crossbow?"

"She's so much more than just a crossbow."

"She is a very pretty crossbow."

He raised his mug in another toast and downed the last of the wine. Lavellan sipped at the dregs of her own and listened to the minstrel sing. Like so many other songs, this one was unfamiliar, but catchy. Fun. A few of the drunker patrons were even dancing.

"I don't think I have a type. I don't know if I ever had one, or if I just don't remember," Lavellan finally admitted.

"Is it something you think is missing?" Varric asked after a few moments.

Solas returned and handed out the mugs. "What is missing?"

Lavellan waited until he raised the mug to his mouth. "My libido."

Solas paused. Set down the mug. "Lavellan. You'll have to try harder to upset my drink than that."

She and Varric laughed out loud together.

"To answer, no. I don't feel like the urge to..." she screwed her mouth to the side trying to word it right, "to make like a rabbit in springtime is missing."

Varric laughed again. "Isabela wouldn't know what to do with you."

Lavellan ducked her head and smiled. Then, shrugged. "It's stupid to say that when huge swathes of my memory are missing, but I feel like... that's me. This, right here, with you two? That's what's been missing. Probably presumptuous of me, but what I've been missing is... friends. If you wouldn't mind being my friends..."

Lavellan's cheeks flushed amd she shifted uneasily in her seat, her eyes glued to the dark red surface of the mulled wine, her fingertip tracing the lip of the mug. Over her head, Solas and Varric's eyes met. Solas' gaze was merely contemplative, but Varric's was soft.

A large, heavy hand fell on Lavellan's shoulder.

"You don't ask for friends, Shortie." She glanced up through her fringe of messy white bangs to see Varric's crooked smile. "You just get them. And you got me, kid."

Lavellan smiled, truly smiled, nothing sarcastic or forced about it. Despite the scars, the broken nose, the white hair and brows, she looked young with that smile. Barely a toehold in her thirties and the whole world on her shoulders, but in the firelight of the tavern, with that genuine smile, she looked a decade younger.

"Thanks, Varric."

His hand squeezed once. "Yeah, well. We have a Breach to close, and I ain't going anywhere till it's done."

"Very true."

She tapped her mug to his. He tapped back, wine sloshing at the rims. To their surprise, Solas gently tapped his mug to both of theirs. They stared at him, not quite gaping. He did that smile of his, the unnerving and too knowing smile.

"To whatever friendship means."

Lavellan grinned and Varric chuckled.

And then they drank.

[loveinthekeyofx]

I cannot believe this conversation actually happened in a route:

Bonus:

[incorrect-lotr-trash]

Hello Friend! Thank you so much for your works here - they made a strange year bearable, even making me gigglesnort out loud at times! I hope your inspiration keeps going into the new year, and hopefully it will be kinder to all of us! ps - I die every time I see your takes on Fili and Kili - you captured them PERFECTLY! Hope something brings a smile to you today! Cheers!

Hello Dear Friend!

Thank you so much, it was really lovely to see this in my ask box today - what a humbling way to begin the new year. I wish nothing but health (both mental and physical) and happiness in this coming year for you!

I know I don't answer asks/messages now as much as I use to - the truth is I'm enjoying life away from the online world. But I am still humbled at the amount of people who come to this wee space to escape reality for a while, and thus I maintain this silly spot on the internet for all you wonderful folk.

Fili & Kili are literally my two brain cells trying to solve any problem and I'm not mad about it.

God Bless my dear, and Happy New Year!

[sinfulsachi]

After Heist

Prompt: Aftercare Additional Tags: Dom/Sub, Dirty Talk, Breath Play - Choking Words: 2.1k Fandom: Magic Kaito - KaiAo / KidAo

I dedicate this to @sup-poki, because, well, it’s Poki. :3

.

.

“It’s tonight! Kid is going to steal another gem tonight!”

“Kyaah! Will you come and see him?”

“Of course! I never miss any of my husband’s heists. Ever.”

Aoko gorges the first sip of her morning tea in silence. For that alone she contemplates changing their meetup place to a different cafe. She doesn’t want him to get overly arrogant from the unwarranted compliments, nor she to keep rolling her eyes skyward the rest of their stay. It’s too early to get this cranky.

She looks at her watch. Fifteen minutes until he arrives.

Sighing, Aoko decides to waste her time anyway listening to a conversation she’s long used to but prefers not hearing.

The adjacent fangirls converse about the Kid posters they spent the whole night finishing, the cameras they have charged overnight, where the best view is to watch his entrance...all the boring stuff.

Then, the more solemn lady between the two ponders out loud, “I wonder if Kid has a girlfriend.”

Aoko’s ears perk up.

“And if his girlfriend knows he’s a hot magician thief,” the louder blondie supplemented.

She takes a sip of tea. Yes to both, her mind answers.

“Imagine being fucked by Kid before and after his heists. I’d be sooo jealous.”

Aoko chokes on her drink. 

The two girls were quick to throw her table a wary glance. Pretending to be preoccupied with the morning paper, she holds the print nearer her face and scrunches at the headline.

Safe, Aoko sighs, as her curious spectators let her go. Though for what she supposes is an extra precaution, the rowdy blonde moves her chair so that her back faces her. Aoko snorts inwardly. As if that can save her from her bat ears. Especially not with that scandalous tone.

“What if I make a sign in big bold letters, ‘Kid-sama, I want you to steal my virginity’?”

“Add a please! Beg for it and who knows, he might visit your bedroom after the heist.”

Oh god. At that instant, Aoko thinks of leaving. This isn’t the kind of conversation she wants to hear at nine in the morning. Two rabid fangirls daydreaming about being nailed by an infamous thief, who happens to be her father’s enemy, who happens to be Kaito, who happens to be her...? No, thanks. The disrespect. Her growing indignation. The damage to her brain cells. She’s not in the mood for this.

Aoko stays.

“Do you think Kid fucks hard? Or is he the slow and sensual type?” The rosette asks her other friend dreamily as if she’s asking about innocent middle school crushes. 

“Oh, sister. I bet he’s a rough fucker,” the blonde replies. She leans closer to her friend and looks left and right before continuing in a much lower voice, “My two cents is he ties his girl in bed and dominates her like a champ.” 

Something flashes in Aoko’s brain like a movie clip on a big white projector.

「Still clad in all white, he pinned both of her hands with his gloved one, her chest facing the wall as his other hand roamed her backside and gave her ass a delicious spank.

“Looking forward to this, my dirty little Nakamori-san?” he hissed in her ear, then nipped at the underside of her lobe with those lips that were Kid’s if she wanted, but Kaito’s nonetheless.

“Y-Yes,” she rasped, voice shaking from thrill and anticipation. It’s always after heists that he’s most insatiable.」

Pressing her cup to the seam of her lips, Aoko turns her head away from the conversing girls, in case she fails to hide her growing smirk properly.

Well, her one cent isn’t wrong.

“Oh? But I think he’s a pure gentleman in bed,” the rosette opines. “You know, always asks his girl what she wants then he’ll give it to her and more.” She squeals dreamily again.

Aoko bites her inner cheeks.

「They made it to her bed, losing clothes piece by piece as they moved. He climbed above her, and Aoko wrapped her arms around his sweaty shoulders, her fingertips exploring his chiseled back muscles for new scars. His mouth traveled her neck down her sternum, and he gave her cute little mounds gentle flicks with his palm, before taking an erect nipple between his teeth.

“Where do you want me tonight?” he asked, muffled, kissing between her breasts.

“Please... on top and inside me.”

She felt him smirk on her chest. “As you wish, milady.”」

Aoko tips her head down, staring at the ground with a funny smile on her face. Hah. She isn’t wrong either.

“Mm, that may be so, but! Hear this—” the girl scoots closer to the other, ignoring the fact that her voice becomes much more audible from that angle, “I think we can agree on one thing. Kid would be sooo discreet while he screws you. So hot, right?” 

Aoko can practically hear the thirst bleeding out of the blonde’s voice. She hates it. Partly because no other woman should be fantasizing about him like that, and partly because the thirst reminds her of her own.

Discreet, they say?

「It wasn’t the echoes of distant police sirens and helicopter rotors that kept her heart pumping erratically in her chest. It was the fact that the man above her was the fugitive they were searching for, and the man instead of hiding in a safer place, chose to be in her room...

“If Nakamori-keibu knew I was doing this to his daughter, he’d figure out exactly where to search...but he doesn’t, does he?” Aoko shook her head, eyes unstably fluttering as he pounded her aggressively.

...Instead of retiring for the night, chose to land on her balcony, stealthy, as he’d done twice or thrice before...

“H-Harder,” she panted, knees trembling from the force of his body tunneling in and out of her.

"Like this?” He rammed her twice the force up the hilt and her walls clenched around him, wet and tight. 

“Like that, y-yes!”

...Instead of changing first to civilian attire, chose to hold her, kiss her, and fuck her then and there.

“Yeah?” Not stopping his rhythm, his hand pinned one of her wrists on the sheets, while the other crept up her petite neck, gripped her under the jaw and gave a tender squeeze, and her mouth formed a perfect ‘O’ as he elicited from her a hot sound between a whimper and a moan. The same hand angled her tearful face up, meeting his hooded gaze, “Always ready to be choked like the naughty Nakamori-san I know, hm?”

An intense shudder ran through her spine; her mouth was so wet yet so dry, and his hand lacing her neck trapped all the words in her throat. Heady eyes still set on him, she nodded, frantic, ecstatic.

"Say it, say you love this,” he ordered, slightly loosening his grip to allow her to speak but not stopping his merciless pounding below.

“Y-Yes, s...so much...” she managed to croak.

Smirking lecherously, he leaned down to kiss the sweat and tears on her cheeks. “Very good girl.”」

Aoko bites her lip and presses her thighs together. No, she shouldn’t be feeling this pulsing ache between her legs at nine in the morning.

“But you know what the sad part is?” 

“What?”

“That Kid will probably leave you out in the cold after the deed. Poof. Just like that. No trace whatsoever. I mean,” the blonde shrugs, “magician, and thief.” 

“I’m fine even with that... like, that’s where we’re getting the appeal right? The mystery? As long as he doesn’t erase my memory of our love making, I’m good,” the rosette replies, and Aoko from a table away cannot believe her ears.

Clearly these girls are in it just for the thrill of the sex. Sex with the mysterious magician thief. That’s not what she’s here for and that’s what makes her different.

「“Ahh, Ka-Kai...nnh!”

Orgasmic moans filled the room as his hot essence flooded her. He continued to thrust, shooting thick spurts while Aoko writhed on the sheets, cries distorted by a thumb in her mouth. Like the tears trickling down her face, fluids oozed out her entrance down the sheets even when he hadn’t yet pulled out. The wet warmth drowned her entire body in delirious pleasure. Same with him as she felt him throb inside, cock up for more action.

They could still handle more.

Which she understood if he wouldn’t do, because his attire was still on the floor and the rotor sounds remained audible. He ought to hide soon.

But he flipped her so she was straddling him, both still connected at the hip.

“Ride me, Aoko.” It wasn’t an order; his eyes were begging. “I missed you so much.”

Her heart leapt because this was her favorite part, and he was giving it to her again. The second was much more sacred, just she and he, no alter persona. She bucked a pace, slow, going fast, lewd wet sounds interplaying with their soft grunts and moans, his nails digging her hips and hers his clavicle until for the second time she rutted on him and he in her.

She collapsed, chest wheezing, ear pressed over his drumming heart. His fingers ran up and down her spine, calming her. The sirens and rotors faded away and their inhales and exhales became much more prominent.

She felt soft kisses on top of her unruly hair.

“Not the gem you’re looking for?” she murmured on his skin after some time.

“Not the gem I’m looking for.” His hand massaged her scalp. The Kid tone was long gone; she was talking to a Kaito doing a job for his late father. That was how she had always viewed it.

“Did it hurt when I...?” he asked. Aoko smiled.

“Not as much as the wound on your back,” she answered.

“Pfft, ‘s nothing. Just a minor slip when I was hurrying here.” They both giggled.

“Please go home and fix yourself... or else Aoko will call their attention to you.” She looked up and met his tired blue eyes. His aftercares after heists were the best.

“No you wouldn’t,” he grinned, kissed her forehead.

“Yes, Aoko would.” She raised a taunting brow.

“Will you hide me under your bed?”

"No.”

“Aww, c’mon Nakamori-saaaan.”

She gigglesnorted. “Shut it or else Aoko will really expose you."」

She doesn’t hear the outward snort she makes. Nor the recent arrival of the person who has taken the seat across her.

“Warui, Aoko!” Kaito’s palms are pressed together in front of his bowed head. “Jii-chan and I had to handle some last-minute preparations. Sorry!”

“No problem.”

Kaito lags. “...No problem?”

“Aoko isn’t mad.”

His eyes widen in surprise. “You’re not mad...?”

“Actually Aoko is...” she trails off, noticing the noise of the two girls die down as their eyes rake Kaito’s side profile. The blonde whispers something to her friend, leering eyes still planted on the man. She doesn’t need to hear to know what they’re talking about.

She cannot fault them for thirsting over an infamous ‘bachelor’ magician thief everybody in Japan knows. But try thirsting over another girl’s man and who knows what she’ll do.

“Actually Aoko’s thinking if she should just meet Kaito in his house...” She tinkers with the empty cup in front of her. “But since he’s already here, she’ll just pull him with her back."

“What do you mean?” 

"After those preparations with Jii-chan, Kaito may want some warm-up...”

"Warm-up?” His brows crinkle, but Aoko’s two fingers tiptoe up his hand that is on the table, and they smoothen eventually upon realization. “Oh.” 

“...Think it’s a bad idea? Before heist?” She bites her lip.

“Gods, no,” smirking, he encloses her two fingers around an iron grip, and, very slowly, makes one pumping movement with his fist, “I may in fact, need some intense warm-up before the main event tonight,” he says in a low voice, and Aoko giggles. 

“Stop that, someone might see us.” 

He grins haughtily. “You suggested it.”

“No it wasn’t Aoko. It’s them.”

“Them?”

Aoko stands upright, pulls her bag and Kaito’s hand. “Nothing of interest,” she laughs, “Let’s go?”

“Wow, aren’t you in a hurry,” Kaito’s sneer is as wide as a Cheshire cat’s, but not as wide as Aoko’s when they pass by the two girls’ table. She feels their eyes follow them as they exit the shop, and Aoko knows it’s bad to gloat but right now she’s as good as winning a lottery. The man they are eyecandying and the phantom thief they are dreaming of screwing? Both men are about to do to her - and only to her - what they’ve been fantasizing.

Later, and tonight. 

[dastardlydandelion]

1, 2, 3 ?

i just realized i reblogged two ask memes and u didn't specify which one, so i'll just do both.

readers and writers meme:

1) answered twice and i can't think of a third thing! sorry!

2) strangest fact i've learned from writing fic? mm. a lot abt bodies. arterial bleeding vs venous bleeding. rn i'm reading a lot abt goat herding. and i perused rubber duck collecting. and i'm prolly gonna write the silly demolition derby fic bc of the demogorgon demolition pun potential. i'm a doofus, ik. but. puns. :')

3) answered!

✨ fanfic writer ask game:

1) has a comment made on a fic of mine ever made me laugh out loud? i had a good gigglesnort at a comment @keziahrain left me on ventriculum. that i made an axe murder story endearing. i snorted and then i smiled, tysm friend. <3

2) has a comment made on a fic of mine ever made me cry? mm, not quite waterworks but close enough. gotta lot of kind, understanding commentary on chordus i did not expect. and one person v thoroughly and attentively praised my work as a whole, which was most humbling and appreciated. and @lucdarling has defo made me emote strongly with v kind, and insightful commentary even if they need to stop giving me ideas bc i already have 100, tyvm, pal. <3

3) have i ever made myself laugh or cry in a fic i wrote? oh, defo laugh. tons of times, i'm terrible. again, i'm a doofus. it doesn't take much. i crack myself up and it's dumb but i'm weak for puns and morbid humor especially.

[toonqueen]

Duckvember 2020

--Game--

Just some OC stuff. Move along. Nothing to read here. NO BETA and NO WRITING GOOD DESCS JUST GOING WHERE THIS ENERGY DRINK IS TAKING ME.

PG-13 for the violence. Murder mentions. I’m sure there is a curse word. Fun on a bun stuff.

P.S. IT WAS BETAed THANK YOU @cataradical ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE ONE PART I WAS STUCK AT nnnngh

-------

“Now that I’ve got your attention, let's play a little game,” the canine antagonist’s voice drifted from the speakers, followed by loud, maniacal cackling. There was no sight of him, but the room wasn’t empty.

Faustina curtly stood up from the ground where she had fallen deep into the pit. She was less concerned about the menacing, dangerous voice as she was her clothes getting dirty. Although she was angry, it was more at her sister than this weirdo who’d trapped them here.

“‘Mr. Canis is so nice in the Nega-verse. I just wanted to see if his gas station was anything like the one in the Middle-verse. Your version, he’s such a kind old man, so… what if he’s an absolute grump here? How funny would that be… teehee.’” Faustina repeated words said to her earlier in a mocking tone. She looked around the room as she brushed off her skirt; a small cell with a single glass wall. “Yes, what a great adventure, /sis/,” Faustina growled, pounding on the glass angrily, “find out our good friend /here/ is a serial killer. /Fun times/.”

Faustina glanced up, spotting a TV screen mounted above the glass. Playing was footage of her sister, Felicity, hurrying down a hallway, surrounded by large, halved circular saw blades whirring in and out and along the walls. Faustina’s dark-haired twin was swiftly moving, twisting, dancing around them.

“/I am not a killer/!” the voice shrieked from the speakers, offended, disgusted, “I am merely a tool that creates the puzzles. It is Fate that decides who lives and who dies, not me.”

“Oh, /boy/. This is going to be a /hoot/ then. Fate. With this gal. /Wow/. Why not run me through your death maze too?” Faustina stifled her giggling.

“Because you are going to be the prize for when--or if--she gets through my CORRIDOR OF KARMA and the PRECIPICE OF SERENDIPITY,” the villain bellowed, causing the speakers to glitch a little.

Faustina had completely lost it, cackling until her stomach hurt and she doubled forward, banging a fist against the glass wall. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, her face sore from smiling so much. “Oh, you sad, poor little--if you /only knew/ her! Oh, man, where’s my phone?” She managed to collect herself, wiping away tears and sniffing a few times. A moment to gigglesnort before deep breath. “I’m going to have to record your reaction for later, Mister I Let Fate Decide, but I’m sure as soon as she gets through your stupid game, you’ll change your tune. I bet you made it so everyone loses no matter how hard they try, right? You’re gonna be so butthurt when you realize she’s gonna get through all that.” Unable to restrain herself any longer, Faustina started laughing and snorting again, arms thrown around her belly.

“Laugh now, fool. I hope you see her get torn apart. Behold! She just now entered the GAUNTLET OF THE GILDED-- wait, where did she go?” the canine gasped and choked.

Faustina looked back up at the TV as it started flipping through channels, all showing different chambers and mazes of torture and misery. Every single one of them… empty. Just as another channel turned on, Faustina heard a light shuffling coming from the ceiling above her head.

A second later, a panel on the ceiling right outside the cell room fell to the ground. Felicity climbed out until she was standing, face to face, with her sister on the opposite side of the glass.

Faustina huffed, hands on her hips. “About time. That took you a little longer than I thought,” Faustina complained to her “hero”.

“I would have gotten here sooner, but I felt obligated to read the name plaques he put up in each room. Masquerade of Misfortune was my favorite,” Felicity replied as she placed her hands on where the glass wall met a metal wall.

“How-- /How did you get in here!/ The vents don’t--don’t even lead here!” the voice hissed and snarled from the speakers.

“Well, they do now,” Faustina said on behalf of her sister. Felicity ignored them, tugging and prying along the strip of metal before peeling it loose. A line of bolts popped free.

“No matter! That was cheating! You’ve forfeited the game, and now you will see your sister suffer a gruesome fate,” the voice guffawed sinisterly. Liquid started pouring from the cell’s ceiling, right next to Faustina.

The trapped twin sniffed, and instantly knew what it was. “Gasoline? Really? Gonna set me on fire, huh? This is just getting more and more hilarious. Maybe coming here wasn’t such a bad idea. We need to do this every week. Man, if this jerk only /knew/,” she chuckled, casually pressing a hand up against the nozzle and stopping the flow of gasoline.

“Now, Felicity, was it? How ironic your name means “fortune”. Maybe you’ll be lucky by persuading me to let your sister live. Get on your knees, and /beg/ for her life,” their captor ordered, his tone much more disturbing and ruthless.

Felicity gave him the cold shoulder. “Heat would expand the glass, and then you can crawl out through this seam,” she explained to Faustina. “The bolts are out. You’ll be fine.”

“Are you not listening to me?” the voice raged. “You need to convince me to free your sister! I decide her fate!”

“Cool, cool, all right, hellfire. Got it.” Faustina put her fingers in front of her and started to move them like she was playing with an invisible cat’s cradle string. 

“Do you not /understand/, you simpletons? All I have to do is throw a lit match and your sist-- /What in the fuc--/!” the voice changed from commanding to panicked when Faustina herself burst into flames. The fire had started from her own hands, and spread across her body. Flames rolled down her skirt, thick and magma-like, setting the fuel at her feet on fire. There was an immediate rushing blow of black smoke.

Felicity backed away from the hole so Faustina and her fire could do the rest. The escaping duck showed no pain from the flames. She just shrugged and climbed out. The speakers crackled but no voice.

“/Coward/!” Faustina yelled as she got out of the cell, rolling back the glass with the heat. “Why didn’t I think of this?”

“We are underneath a gas station. Might want to tone down the fire,” Felicity suggested. She looked up at where the fuel was still dripping. A few options on what to do rolled around in her mind. “Why is this bothering me more than any other villain we fought?”

“I dunno. More the peeps we beat up tend to rob banks or fight other heroes, so, uh,” Faustina said, the flames disappearing in wisps of black smoke until not even a spark was left. The entire cell floor was covered in flames still. Despite having been set on fire, not a single part of Faustina’s body, even her clothes, had been burned or harmed. However, there was black smudging along the hem of her skirt. “... You’re gonna get my dry cleaning bill.”

“Yeah, we’ve never had to fight a killer that's been taking out… defenseless people,” Felicity mumbled, still watching the dripping gasoline. 

Faustina noticed the change in her sister’s tone. “Look, I can be a reverse conscience, bein’ all for tearing this guy apart. Is that what you want to do?” Faustina leaned in close to her twin, twinkle-eyed. “Really, I’d like to have that family bonding girls’ night /finally/.” 

“No...” Felicity replied quietly. Another moment’s pause, then she asked, “Can you resurrect the bodies in the freezer?”

“Yes,” Faustina said without hesitation. 

Felicity opened the nearest door, finding it to be a closet with the usual cleaning supplies. She handed Faustina a push broom. Not exactly what she hoped for but it would work. 

“I’ll go after him. You get the victims out of here,” Felicity said as she pointed to the hole in the ceiling that Faustina had originally fallen from.

The blonde witch gave a nod and got on the broom, flying out the available exit. Felicity took a ladder from the closet, used it to climb up into a different opening.

-------

Mr. Canis, a mild-mannered gas station owner with a shotgun in hand, was now running out of his business as fast as his legs could carry him.

Well, not that mild mannered, since he would often trap a lone 3 AM traveler or two, and force them to play his sadistic death games he held below the gas station. “A sacrifice to Fate during the bewitching hour” is what he called it. And two tired women on a road trip were just the perfect meals to feed the beast.

Metaphorical beasts. Not monsters like these two were. 

Mr. Canis had made a mistake. He had seen the warning signs! …Though, could the blonde filling the super size one liter soda cup with nothing but nacho cheese really count as a warning sign? After all, she did put a fifty dollar bill on the counter and said to charge her as much as he needed for extra cheese. This weird girl who he’d now just seen catch on fire and come out completely unscathed without any show or sign of pain.

Mr. Canis wasn’t going to stick around to see what the witch’s equally oddball sister could do. 

To think an hour ago his biggest concern was she might be a cop. The way she had just... inspected things on the shelves so tentatively. Actually stood there at the counter for a moment, reading the back of a bag of chips. And then, when he was ringing her up, she just smiled at him like she knew him. Asked how his day was with a strangely large amount of curiosity. 

Mr. Canis assumed the woman must know him--better yet, know what he did. Knew about the puzzles, the games. Knew about the sacrifices he had made to Fate. He could see it in her eyes.

There was a rattling of metal coming from right behind him. He ran across the small parking lot, toward the grass of the surrounding woods. He heard the rattle again. Like a horror movie, he just had to check, see the source of the sound--

The canine’s feet were back on the pavement. The rattling came from the steel door to the room containing all the fuel tanks. There was faint knocking from within--specifically one tank with a small “door” locked up. Mr. Canis laughed despite his fear; one of these so-called “powerful” women were now trapped by a simple metal lock on a rusty old door.

He stopped laughing when the lock broke after another couple knocks. Seemingly with no force either. With one more push, Felicity climbed out of the tank, drenched. Instead of the strong scent of gasoline, she was soaked in cola. 

Mr. Canis was all the more confused when harmless brown soda could be seen (and smelled) in the fuel tank, instead of the gasoline that would be more harmful for this girl to swim in. He was frozen, flabbergasted. How could the hoses for the syrup to the soda fountains even be out here? They must have been diluting the fuel he was using for the traps.

When Mr. Canis snapped out of his daze, he found the black-haired duck glaring back at him in silence. If looks could kill, he’d be dead and buried.

Felicity had been excited to meet the Prime-verse counterpart of the Nega-verse gas station owner she was friends with. She had expected a grumpy version of the man that ran her favorite Nega-verse stop. Maybe throw out loitering teens instead of offering them free day-old donuts. It was going to be amusing. Be fun.

Not deadly.

Mr. Canis fired a shot at her, and it missed. Missed even at point blank. Sure, she had tilted her torso just slightly left, but it should have still hit something! Mr. Canis wasn’t an amateur when it came to firearms. 

Felicity abruptly grabbed the gun. One hand around the top of the barrel, and the other farther down the shaft. Mr. Canis' finger was still curled around the trigger, and he fired another shot. In an instant, she bent and raised the barrel so the shot went into the air.

Felicity gained leverage and let one hand go of the gun. Her free one grabbed under the canine’s arm. Mr. Canis was on his back in a flash when the smaller duck flipped him onto the ground.

Felicity held the gun now, aimed expertly at her would-be attacker. “Get up. Get inside the gas station.” 

“Look, this is all a misunderstanding. Obviously you have the blessed fortune to get through my maze of fate. You and your sister are free to go! Isn’t that wonderful? Go ahead and be on your way!” Mr. Canis was desperate; poor excuses, he knew, but he tried. Maybe the girl would be so in shock by what happened she would just leave? 

Felicity was silent, and still glaring. In that moment, Mr. Canis wished she was more talkative like the blonde. He reluctantly got up, and headed into the gas station. Felicity followed, keeping the gun pointed at his back. 

“I take it you two are going to tie me up and call the cops to come get me?” he chuckled, like he’d forgotten all about the insanity of the last ten or so minutes.

That peace did not last long. Faustina was sitting on the checkout counter. Three other women were in the station as well. Very familiar women. Awake, moving, but still cold from the freezer. Glassy eyed, they actually did not look fully alive. Just alive enough. 

“Are there more? Because those woods back there look very iffy,” Faustina questioned, as casually as someone would when looking for their lost keys. She sat in her billowy dress, legs crossed and hands resting on one bent knee. She smirked wide when the murderer was too  shocked to reply. “What? Nothing to say? What would you like to do, dearest sister?”

“We let him choose his fate,” Felicity finally spoke up. There was a glimmer in Faustina’s eye. She had never seen Felicity prone to actual violence. This was a treat. Though, she gave a disheartened pout when her sister just had to ruin it with all the lawful goody-two-shoes stuff. “We’re calling the cops, and you better sit still and stay here while we all wait for them to arrive.”

“Those three… How are they… what is… going on?” the panic returned to Mr. Canis’s voice. The same panic when he watched Faustina burst into flames as if it were nothing but a change of clothes. 

“Idiot. You have the worst luck ever. You literally, /literally/ put someone cursed by Fortuna in your fate maze, and someone blessed by demons in your fire trap. How dumb. What a /moron/. /Absolute tool!/” Faustina complained and scowled.

“I’m sure your mood’ll improve soon enough,” Felicity said, eyes rolling. She waved a hand and turned away. “I’m stepping out to call the cops. I’ve got the gun on me, but I’m sure you can handle him if he tries anything funny.”

Faustina grinned, watching her sister leave. “No problemo!” She turned her grin, now more feral, to Mr. Canis as she cracked her knuckles. “So, hey, a couple of your ‘former customers’ wanna file some complaints about your little side business here. I recommend you take them very seriously.”

Mr. Canis whimpered, looking between Faustina and the three women lumbering closer. “Are you… are you going to kill me?” he gulped.

“I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to leave it to fate. Ladies, if you get rid of him before sunrise, the spell will resurrect you. The more pain you put him through, the better the rezz,” Faustina said and grinned before turning to leave the room. She shut the door on the horrified, high-pitched shrieking and crying.

Felicity stood outside, arms crossed, like she had just caught a child eating all the cookies from the jar. 

“What? You prefer I don’t rezz them?”

“I’m pretty sure you can just transfer his life force into them without the--” Felicity’s words were interrupted by a blood curdling scream. 

“Yes, but where’s the fun in that? Karma’s a bitch, after all.”

------

Lawd the baddies in the Saw movies piss me off would love monster girls to beat the shit out of them. HUZZAH.

[ticklishpeter]

do you think you can do some headcanons on the siblings top funniest or most adorable reactions when being tickled?

luther snorts SO much omg and he kicks like crazy!!!! it’s just rly funny to see bc he’s like a big ol t-rex??? he usually just,, cannot reach his most tickly spots (legs n feet) when theyre getting attacked so he just is kinda waving his arms and flailing his head off tbh lmao

a few times,,, when someone gets into diego’s belly button, he’ll start out w these precious lil giggle squeaks,,, BUT they stay in for too long, he will SCREAM like a serious, honest to god scream and he’ll go “GET THE HELL OUT” and he will just,,, keep screaming like i think someone nearby has probably called the police bc they thought somebody was getting murdered fkjdh,, and he’s also nearly broken allison’s nose bc she was teasing him too much and he could NOT take it

on the topic of screaming and violence, five kicks everything in sight and has just,,, such a high pitched and loud initial screech and then he’ll like,,, blush at himself for making such a noise??? 

allison scrunches up her shoulders n squeezes her arms to her sides and it’s so so precious bc she like,, squeals too but her laugh is so sweet and happy uwu

one time klaus,,, HURT himself bc he arched his back too much when ben squeezed his hips from behind in juuuust the most deadly way. like he had to lay down for awhile and ben laughed at him lowkey fbhjdk

and when klaus got ben back, he tickled him for so long and so ruthlessly that one of ben’s tentacles came out and slapped klaus across the face LMAO

vanya gigglesnorts ALL THE TIME. like she snorts so SO SO MUCH like,, way more than luther

[uncommonnpraxis]

Betrayal.

Betrayal reared its ugly head into my life at the ripe age of 16. 2005 we relocated to Texas from Virginia and I was filled with relief. Leaving behind all of the worst memories and regrets I had already racked up. This would be a new path towards becoming a different and, with any luck, a better person.

Two words. Culture shock. Now this was the second time I had experienced this. Born and raised in Dallas until I was 7 and then shoved into an area where nobody spoke Spanish or knew what Dia de los Muertos was. But to return after 9 years...its safe to say I had been a bit white-washed, as people delicately put it, even though my friends were on base and from all over. I had my Spanish but zero confidence to utilize it. I was too white for the mexicans and too mexican for the white people and it led me to a mixed bunch of friends. It was my senior year and I got to spend it at a brand new facility with no friends at all. Lucky me.

After being in art courses since I had discovered dexterity, of course I intended to continue at the new high school. I had an in with the graphic arts teacher so I was allowed to bypass the interview and slid into the second year of a work shop program they had. She had seen some of my work and decided I was far along enough to complete the second year. Things were going well. I kept to myself and filled my time with extra curricular activities such as working in the printing press, sneaking off to cosmetology and learning how to do hair, etc. Enter P. She was loud, blonde, and obnoxious. She had lost a bunch of weight so she loved to flaunt her new self, which I followed because I had been lacking confidence. Convinced to sleep over to show my family that I was trying to connect with people, I hesitantly went over to her apartment that she shared with some roommates. I figured, maybe meet more people. Turns out she liked to drink and having been down that path once, I gently declined. Evening comes and she answers a phone call, telling someone to come over later and how it'll be okay. I assumed they would be over relatively soon. Fast forward to midnight after she had become plastered but was still seemingly harmless so we laughed and had fun. We decided to lay down for the night and I began to dose off until I heard her leave the room. I could hear her obnoxious gigglesnort from the other room when two men followed her closely as they entered her room. Pretending I was asleep at this point to avoid anything I wanted no part of...I hear them laughing and talking about me. How hot I am and how innocent I looked sleeping. She tells one of them to climb on top of me and...well I think it's kind of clear where that went. I was no match for a grown man, especially when she was sitting next to us, cheering him on. She proceeded to sleep with both of them next to me after he took his turn on me...she took me home the next day and I never spoke to P again.

This was the third instance of rape at that point in my life.

[spectrumscribe]

the kids aren’t alright

A nudge in the spacetime continuum, a shift in storylines, and it’s April O’Neil who descends once again into the hidden city of yokai... but in this world, she’s on her own... until she meets a few unexpected (but fated) allies.

(It’s the Baron Draxum Raises the Turtles AU everyone, I told ya I’d get to writing it eventually.)

-///-

April rips a legging as she lands, she just knows she does, feeling the awful sensation of skinning her knees as she rolls. It’s by virtue of pure instinct that she dives to the side to hide behind a stone pillar right after, not even pausing to catch her breath. The wackos with their killer dogs are so close nearby that she’s not really sure how she managed to escape detection.

Probably because her little cat-dog friend is screeching their head off inside their bubble prison. For such a small creature, they’re sure loud.

April, hidden from sight for the moment, sucks in a breath and takes in her surroundings. What she sees steals her breath all over again.

Craggy cliffs are dotted with ancient looking buildings- torchlight flickering in windows and tangled roots clutching roofs. A city sprawls in the distance, made up of those, and even from far away April can see that the residents walking and flying and climbing around that city are definitively not human.

“Ohhhhh my god,” she whispers in awe to herself. Her first impulse is to grab her phone- no one will ever believe- but the heavy, scraping steps moving away from her hiding spot remind her of her priorities.

Right. Rescue her little friend, avoid getting caught, and get the hell out of dodge. Real simple plan in theory, but probably not in practice.

April is a lot of things- socially awkward, a bad employee, kinda lonely- but she’s anything but a coward. Squaring her courage, April slips out from behind the pillar and hides behind the next, trailing the freaky dudes and their massive dogs... right up to a veritable castle tower, with a vibe that screams danger.

Well, April didn’t get her Gryffindor sorting on that buzzfeed quiz for nothing.

April rushes (sneakily) inside.

-/-

The honest to god secret passageways in this place are pretty easy to navigate. April thinks they should be more complex, or maybe boobytrapped at least, so intruders can’t just waltz around like she is. Not that she’s complaining about the waltzing, the waltzing has been very convenient.

It’s just not as excitingly challenging? Kind of anticlimactic.

She finds her lil friend within the first ten minutes of poking around. They’re caged by a scary guy that looks like a cross between a goat and a wrestler, whose monologueing masks April’s footfalls as she skirts around the room. There are two small gargoyles flying around goatman- Baron? Uh uh, she’s not calling him a title, pompous asshole. All of them are speaking plain English, which is the least weird thing in this situation, but still. It’s weird.

April studies the layout of the room- she can make the jump no problem- but the rescue mission won’t work if she doesn’t have an escape plan following her initial assault. She needs a weapon, and possibly a distraction to get the monsters away from her friend.

April is very pleased that with the next secret tunnel she takes- seriously, such a security hazard- she finds a whole atrium of weapons.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” she says to herself, grinning as she advances on the first rack.

Does she know how to use any of these? Nope. They don’t cover sword fighting or melee or magical items in public schools. But it can’t be that hard, right? Keep the stabby end aimed at her enemy, don’t stab herself in the process, etc.

As she examines the stock of deadly arms, April wonders if she’s taking this all in stride too easily. In books and movies, people tend to freak out way more when they find out magic and monsters are real. Then again, she thinks as she admires a hefty club glowing acid green, I always thought those people were wimps.

Besides, this is New York. She’s seen plenty scarier things on the A-train than goatman and his sidekicks.

Absorbed in her pep talk with herself, April doesn’t hear a soft landing on the stone floor behind her. She does, however, hear the whisk of wire being extended.

Swinging with her full strength, April spins and aims for the head of the person creeping up on her. She gets nothing but air and a startled noise as her target disappears.

The person behind her is headless.

April screams once and tries to hit it again, only for the headless body to jump out of the way.

“Jesus, girl! I’m just trying to-” April swings a third and fourth time, ignoring the voice coming from inside its torso. The green-skinned headless monster abruptly dives downwards and somersaults away, it’s shell curve aiding the maneuver. As it comes to a stop and turns to face her again, a head pops out of the space between its shoulders.

April stops, meeting the glare of the monster. It’s grimacing, crouching low and twining the sturdy wire of its weapon around its few fingers.

“You really, really shouldn’t be here,” it- he?- says gravely, voice young and nervous. He has a mask over his eyes, black, and a loincloth-shorts combo like goatman was wearing. Rows of small blades and unidentifiable weapons are strapped to him, going over one shoulder. In the monochrome grey and black of everything else, the bright orange spots that pattern his limbs and shell stand out.

He stands slowly, not attacking, but not putting down his bladed wire-weapon either. “D’you even know what happens to humans brought here? What Draxum does to intruders?”

April skips her shock at yet another talking monster- the novelty is wearing off at this point. She keeps her club raised and firmly replies, “I don’t care. Goatman’s got my friend and I’m not leaving here without them.”

“You mean the-?” He shakes his head, short mask tails flicking. “It doesn’t matter, you gotta go before it’s too late. You can’t help your friend now.”

“And if I say hell no?”

“Then- then I’ll have to knock you out and take you to him!” he declares, but April can hear his heart’s not in it.

“So why give me a chance to escape,” April asks carefully, “if you’d turn me in anyway?”

The turtle monster’s momentary fierceness fades, dark eyes averted. He chews his lip, conflict in his expression, before answering, “I'm not gonna turn an intruder in if she’s gone before I can catch her. Please? It’s super not fun to be a mutation experiment, trust me. Go back up to- to above, okay? I won’t say anything if you leave now.”

The desperate undertone to his words makes April pause, reconsidering. But she shakes that off a second later.

“I’m not going back. Not until I have my friend.”

The turtle monster stares at her for a beat, and then tosses his head back and makes a supremely annoyed groan. April lowers her weapon slowly as he stomps in a small circle, muttering to himself. Huh. The air of danger he’d had at first is totally dispelled; he reminds her of neighborhood kids more than anything, now.

Weird choice of bad guy sidekick. A little fucked up, maybe, if the monster is really as young as he acts.

“Ugh god FINE,” says the turtle, stopping his pacing and pointing a finger at her. “This is the last time I ever do this, I swear.”

“Do what?” April questions, eyebrow raised.

“Help you humans!”

“Uh, I've never been here before-?”

“Not you! Just- ugh, c’mon, let’s go before anyone else finds you.”

April is bemused, now, by the turtle monster. So he’s done this before? Trusting him to help her is probably a bad idea, but that fact gives her some hope it’ll turn out alright in the end. One more bad decision is no big deal with the night she’s had.

“Sure, let’s go,” April agrees finally, swinging her club up to rest against her shoulder. She sticks out a hand to the turtle- who flinches minutely at the gesture. April continues without commenting. “I’m April by the way. Thanks for not taking me to your evil overlord, I guess?”

“I’m f- I'm, um, Mikey. You can call me Mikey.” He gingerly takes her hand, eyeing it and her like it might be a sneak attack. “And he’s a Baron, not an overlord. Baron Draxum.”

“Could’a fooled me,” April says with a shrug, dropping Mikey’s hand. “Y’all got hella evil mad scientist vibes.”

“Haha, yeah, kinda...” Mikey glances around awkwardly, before nodding a direction. “C’mon, someone’s gonna miss me sooner or later. Let’s just- get this over with.”

“What kinda plan you got?” April asks as they start moving. Mikey takes her over to a different corner of the room, far from where April entered.

“Uh, distraction, maybe? Or I could- no, he’ll notice, ugh- fuck, I don’t know.” He sighs as he presses on a trigger disguised as a stone, the wall grinding open gradually. “You wouldn’t happen to be a kunoichi by any chance?”

“A kuno what now.”

“Guess not.”

April rolls her eyes, underwhelmed by Mikey’s evil henchman skills. He sees her do so and he scowls, sticking out his tongue. April lets out a gigglesnort in surprise, caught off-guard by the childish annoyance.

Her laughter dies as she sees a figure looming in the newly opened passageway. At April’s sharp intake of breath, Mikey spins and makes a strangled squeak.

“Shit,” April says, getting her club ready.

“Uh, hi, I was- we were- it’s not what it looks like?” Mikey says in a rush.

The huge monster steps partially out of the passageway, towering over both of them. Clothes like Mikey’s, but with ragged tears in spots, and none of the hin knives the smaller monster has. And with the scars dotting his rough scales, his shit brickhouse form, the snaggled-tooth fangs he has- he’s lot more imposing than Mikey had been.

The much more threatening looking turtle stares at them both with yellow sclera for a long moment. Then, he sighs.

“Mike... please, not again.”

-/-

“Sorry?” Mikey says in a tight voice, one Raph has heard more times than he can remember.

Things had been looking up, what with the agent being returned and the first experiments taking place- Raph had been hoping they get some downtime, enjoy the Baron’s good mood for a few days. If Draxum is happy, they get to be happy.

The human girl glaring daggers at him right now throws that all into jeapordy.

But Mikey picked her- he’s decided to try and save her, which counts for something- so there’s nothing for it. Raph isn’t going to even try convincing Mikey to change his mind; either Raph helps, or he steps back and watches Mikey face the punishment he’ll get all alone.

God, Raph is so tired. He misses winter, when he’s allowed to just sleep for days in a row.

But that’s months away and Mikey needs him right now. Moving his eyes to the human girl, Raph sizes her up. Just from how she’s meeting his gaze and standing her ground, he can tell she’s a fighter. Hell, he can’t even tell if she’s scared or not. That’s serious guts right there.

“We’ll talk later,” Raph says softly, looking around them. He’s the only one who noticed Mikey slipping away from the big breakthrough celebration. He’s hoping that lasts. “Crazy girl, you ready to haul ass once we get you outside?”

Mikey’s face lights up, a smile following. He doesn’t smile anywhere near as much as he should, in Raph’s opinion. This is going to bite him later, but right now, making his littlest brother happy is worth it.

But then crazy girl says, “Oh hell no, I told the same thing to your buddy here. I ain’t leaving without my friend.”

He frowns at her. Of course she isn’t going to go easy. “What, the delivery guy?” Raph asks. “He’s already imitation crab bits, dude. If you hurry you’ll catch him.”

“Not him,” Mikey says, same time as the girl says, “The white guy? You should let him go, too, but I’m here for the little guy.”

The little guy? Oh, she’s not- nope, Raph sees her expression and knows she’s a hundred percent serious. Damn it. She had to want the most difficult to retrieve prisoner.

Raph counts to ten and bites down on his temper before it rises. Damn it, damn it, damn it. “Oh, of course, yeah that’s great. Love it. Let’s do this before Don finds out and uses crazy girl as his newest project.”

“I got a name, dude.”

“Does it matter?” She opens her mouth. “Don’t answer that. It doesn’t.”

“She’s April,” Mikey says, winding his kusarifundo’s wire around his fingers, a habit of nervousness. “She almost took my head off with that club.”

The last part is said in an admiring sort of way and Raph feels exasperated. No matter how many times he’s told otherwise, Mikey can’t quite get that yes, all humans are bad, not just most of them.

...But maybe that’s because part of Raph hasn’t ever really gotten that, either; he’s the one setting the example, after all.

“Sorry, you spooked me,” April says, and the apology is almost sincere sounding. Raph side-eyes her, mildly surprised. Humans always scream or run when they see them, they don’t say sorry for defending themselves.

He shakes off the interest he’s developing in the human girl. At least one of them has to have his head on right, which means he can’t indulge in thinking of April as anything but a potential threat.

(He privately looks at her sharp red glasses, her sharper stare, the fearless attitude she’s taken with stealing from one of the Underground’s most powerful figures- and he thinks she’s, maybe, just a little bit really cool.)

Raph ushers both of them into the passage, eager to just get on with the dangerous endeavor.

-/-

With three party members, it’s not too hard. The snarling yokai in their cage isn’t useful any longer to Draxum, so Raph just has to direct attention to the other side of the room. It’s simple until Raph sees Leo come back from wherever he’d been. It’s simple until he sees April and Mikey doing something with the controls of the lab core. It’s simple until he sees Leo noticing the duo, until the warning lights on the core start flashing without noise, alarms disabled.

Raph locks eyes with Leo, who holds his gaze for a long, long moment. Raph silently begs please, let this go, I won’t say anything about you letting it go just PLEASE, Leo- 

And Leo cocks his head, giving a lazy hooded stare. He looks between his options, cradling his arm close in its sling. A bad fall, last training session. When it’s better, Draxum’s promised to double Leo’s workload to get rid of that weakness.

Leo’s blank expression becomes a leery smile, shrugging. He doesn’t care about this, same as he never cares about anything other than staying in good graces and slacking off chores. The look he shoots over his shoulder, as he walks back out, says I won’t forget this. Oh well, better Raph owe his brother a favor than Mikey get in trouble.

In his distraction, Draxum has lost interest in the bullshit plans Raph threw together, in danger of turning around and seeing. But Donnie jabs a spider leg into the paper and says, “Ra- subject one is wrong. We should hit the figureheads of the population before we move onto the masses. Wall Street is the best starting point based on my calculation of how to induce swift widespread panic.”

“Hm, you make a good point, subject two,” Draxum says thoughtfully, refocusing on the plans.

“Of course I do,” Donnie scoffs derisively, the only one of them so bold to take that tone with the Baron. Raph doesn’t even care he’s been showed up, Mikey and April are safe (for the moment).

And then the alarms finally kick in, the vine tree and the ooze and the mosquitos all lighting up bright neon, and it all goes to hell.

-/-

Mikey probably should have known April wouldn’t be okay with the whole ‘conquer humanity via mass mutation’.

Still, she didn’t have to blow up their home.

The last thing he sees of her is the human clutching her tiny friend close- the upwards curled fangs of the creature makes Mikey think dragons and sends a shiver through his shell- and the two of them looking to him.

April mouths something lost in the noise of the room collapsing around them, but Mikey thinks she’s saying thank you as her furry ball of mayhem teleports them away.

From his hiding place, Mikey sighs. At least they got out. At least he wasn’t anywhere close by when the alarms started. At least their dorms weren’t caught in the destruction...?

Ah, shit. He sees Baron Draxum clawing his way out from under a slab of concrete. Raph is helping as much as he’s able and getting yelled at for it. Leo is leaning in a lab doorway, looking on in languid amusement. Donnie has lifted himself up on his extra legs and is poking through the rubble of their ‘greatest triumph’.

Mikey decides he should make an appearance and creeps out of the alcove he’d shoved himself into, nimbly gripping with his hands and feet both as he lowers himself. Scampering to ground level, he puts on his best clueless/panicked expression and lies about having gone for refreshments.

Later, perched up on the edge of the roof, Mikey stares at the dome ceiling of the Underground and wonders how he got away with it all. He’d been expecting at any second to get caught. Somehow, against the odds, on such an important night no less... he pulled it off.

Mikey feels a wave of heavy relief all at once and lets out a loud sigh, flopping over. Boy, what a night, what a freaking night.

He lays with his eyes closed for a while, legs dangling over thin air and a seven story drop. The city near and distant is noisy, but muted, and the air smells like acridic burning vines. Draxum is still storming around downstairs, furiously trying to salvage his projects, and Mikey is good out here, thanks. He wasn’t implicated by what happened at all, so he doesn’t plan to stick around and catch the brunt of that frustrated ranting.

Sometime later, the sound of mechanical joints moving together approaches him. Mikey opens his eyes to see Donnie standing over him, having climbed up the side of the tower.

“Sup,” Mikey says, not flinching as Donnie’s spider legs lift him over his body.

“Hey,” Donnie says tonelessly, which is an unusually subdued greeting, even for him.

“Somethin’ up?”

“Not really. Just our, you know, creator and owner violently grieving the ruination of his life’s work. I put out some fires, salvaged a few samples of mutagen, the like, just fun family bonding stuff.”

Mikey doesn’t let his unease show. Donnie’s words are flippant, but he still has no inflection or emotion. “That’s... sucky,” Mikey says, forcing away his need to fidget with his ‘fundo. “I mean, jeez, talk about a setback. Who knows how long it’ll take to catch all those skeetos, eh?”

“Mhm,” Donnie replies, lowering himself onto the stone roof beside Mikey, legs folded in a cross. “He’ll probably have to take completely new samples of our DNA to synthesize everything all over again, if we don’t catch them all.”

Mikey’s arms feel itchy just thinking about it. He scratches at the pockmark scars in his elbow, trying to not remember the biotech vines sucking pints of blood from his veins.

“Yeah,” Mikey says sullenly, “guess he probably will.”

They sit silently for a beat. Mikey stews in guilt and trepidation, knowing it’s his fault they’ll be going through this because he let himself be weak. He should’ve captured April and dragged her down to the Baron, shouldn’t have faltered at how brave and kind she was, trying to save her friend, he shouldn’t have-

“She got home safe.”

Mikey’s thoughts derail. He sits up a little too quickly to be casual, staring at Donnie. His brother, who doesn’t care about humans, who wears hints of purple like Draxum, who has happily combined his body with biotech to make it stronger- he has a carefully emotionless mask in place, Mikey sees that now. Donnie feels, just as much as any of them. He just never admits it.

He’s scared. Donnie is scared of something.

“...Really?” Mikey asks after a too-long pause.

“I had a drone follow up on the profile I found online. She’s home with her new pet.” Donnie makes an aborted motion with his hands, and then goes through with it and takes off his mask, rubbing his face and scalp. Without the near-black purple bandana, Donnie looks as tired as Raph often does.

“How badly did you want her to escape?” Donnie asks in a quiet mumble, eyes fixed elsewhere. “Badly enough for this? To risk-?”

“Yes,” Mikey says without hesitation.

That makes Donnie stutter, mouth twisting in a scowl. He recovers, hissing, “It’s inevitable, Mikey. Draxum is going to beat humanity, and we’re going to help him, this setback is just that. A setback. We’ll get the carriers back, or- or make more, and it will happen. You’ve just prolonged it all, this didn’t change anything.”

“It changed things for her!” Mikey snaps without meaning to. Donnie glares, but he doesn’t cower. “...It changed things for her,” he repeats, calmer. “She got to go home, her friend got to go with her. Humans don’t have to get wiped out for another few months at least.”

Donnie pulls a face, scoffing. “Why do you care about some random human girl? They keep us down here Mikey, it’s their fault Draxum made us and- uses us.”

“Her name is April,” Mikey says plainly, fingers finding his kusarifundo and winding it’s wire tight around his thumb.

“...‘Her name is April’,” Donnie mimics, disgusted. But he doesn’t say anything more, just sitting and glaring and being his typical prickly self. Mikey winds his wires tighter, tighter, tighter; thinking about faint memories of Donnie being softer and letting them closer, somewhere warm and safe. Somewhere not here.

But that’s a dream, unreal in his earliest memories, conjured by wanting for comfort when he didn’t get any.

“I hope this was worth it for you,” Donnie says eventually, back to his toneless voice. “We’re covering, but... this can’t happen again, okay? None of us can do this anymore, we’re too close to the finish line.”

Mikey nods, unwinding his wire from throbbing fingers. “I know. Um, thanks.”

“Mm,” Donnie says, not acknowledging he’s done anything. Mikey slides his bruised fingers over to lightly poke his brother’s, invitation unspoken.

A moment of decision, whether he’s pissed off still or having a no-touching day Mikey isn’t sure, Donnie moves his hand and links their fingers together. It’s apology and forgiveness in a single, wordless gesture.

-/-

Pacing the length of his cell, pink clawed toes clacking on the stone, someone bides his time impatiently. His sentence is near completion, he’s been given recommendation for early release for good behavior. It’ll be simple to ditch his parole officier’s watch, even after nearly ten years out of the game.

A former man and current mutant prisoner, in situation and body both, looks to the small window of his cell, and swears not for the first time that Draxum will pay for what he’s done, and for what he plans to do.

(He wonders, also, whatever happened to his children. He worries, nightly, daily, constantly. What did Draxum do to his four sons, the unexpected saving grace he’d hidden away for almost five years? Are they alive? Do they know he’s alive?)

Lou paces his cell faster, tail lashing, barely keeping the splinters inside himself from cutting deeper still.

-/-

Somewhere in an ordinary New York neighborhood, in an ordinary apartment complex, an ordinary girl lays on her bed with her new fuzzy friend and thinks to herself, hey, what the fuck was that.

She has no answers for herself. Well. If nothing else, she got her parents to let her little pal stay. After the insanity said pal got her into tonight, April is deeply relieved to have something go according to plan. (Is ‘insanity’ a good pet name? Maybe ‘chaos’? Ugh, she’ll keep workshopping it.)

When she goes to bed, much later on, and sleeps fitfully and shallowly, April somehow thinks that’s the end of it. She has a new roommate, there’s an underground city full of monsters and magic, and there’s a history test tomorrow that she didn’t study for. The only next step she has is go back to normal, pretend it didn’t happen.

So, she does. And nothing else weird happens for a few days, other than Mayhem teleporting into her school bag despite her telling them they should be at home, jesus, she doesn’t need detention on top of her homework pile and job searches,

Things resume normalcy, almost mind-numbingly so... until there’s a knock on her window about a week after it all, and a freckled scaly face peering through it.

-/-

“Uh, hi?”

“...Hi.”

“Sorry to- I was just passing through so I thought- I’m, uh, glad you’re doing okay! I’ll go now I’m sorry I shouldn’t’ve-”

“Hey, hey, no, just hold on.”

“What?”

“...You wanna come say hi to Mayhem, too? They’re, um. They’re doing okay, too.”

“I’d... yeah! Yeah, I’d, yes, I’d love to. Thanks. Could you just, um, move sideways a little-?”

A window on a third story apartment home slides shut. Behind its hastily shut curtains, a cautious friendship is born.

.

.

.

.

My ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/A3022DE7

My AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick

[popatochisssp]

Skeletons Masterpost

The number of posts I’ve made about headcanons and such is starting to get a little long, so I feel like this might be useful! ;3

I’ll be adding to this as I do more things and try to keep it relatively up-to-date with all the stuff I’ve written, headcanons and actual fic alike.

Under the cut because it got pretty long!

Sans (Undertale)

Random Headcanons: 1

A-Z Ask Game: 1 | 2

Sans is a basic bitch

Stuff he enjoys in bed * 

Virginity?

Pokemon team

...Well, one of you is gonna have to change.

-

Love in a Ball-Pit

-

Papyrus (Undertale)

Random Headcanons: 1

A-Z Ask Game: 1

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Pokemon team

-

Get Dunked On

-

Sky (Underswap Sans)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2

A-Z Ask Game: 1 | 2 | 3

With a s/o who’s never been in a relationship before

On marking his partner *

Stuff he enjoys in bed * 

Pokemon team

His cautious opinion of humans

Would he ever Judge his s/o?

-

Best Worst Day Ever

-

Paps (Underswap Papyrus)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3

A-Z Ask Game: 1 | 2 | 3

With a s/o who wears thigh-highs

Paps is not a basic bitch... but he IS a college cryptid (or maybe a Victorian gentleman...)

Stuff he enjoys in bed * 

With a dyslexic s/o

With a friend who unintentionally plays on his daddy kink

Pokemon team

-

You’ve Goat to Be Kidding

-

Jasper (Underfell Sans)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2

A-Z Ask Game: 1

With an artist s/o who wants him to pose for them

Jasper is a crunchy marshmallow

With a s/o who wants to dom him in the bedroom

With a s/o who wants to kiss and nuzzle his forehead

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Feelings on collaring (but also, on collars with a s/o)

Pokemon team

The baby pictures he keeps of his bro

With a s/o who wants to flatter/fluster/pamper him

On knitting

-

Bad to the Bone

-

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3

A-Z Ask Game: 1 | 2

With an artist s/o who wants him to pose for them

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Feelings on collaring (but also, on collars with a s/o)

Pokemon team

Theatrical romance

-

Better Than Expected

Family First (Platonic)

As You Like It

-

Mal (Swapfell Sans)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2

A-Z Ask Game: 1 | 2 | 3

What is Swapfell Indigo?

How to start winning his trust

On marking his partner *

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

With a s/o who doesn’t want to wear a collar......or wants to wear it as a bracelet instead? Or maybe a big bow? (Would he wear a bow collar...?)

Adapting to the surface

Pokemon team

If someone were to try and boop him (Being booped by a s/o specifically)

With a self-negative s/o

With a s/o who’s scared of rough stuff in bed *

With a s/o who doesn’t like fancy styles of clothes

Mal and his Princess

Aftercare best practices *

-

Mission Impossible

Dirty Laundry (plus The Hamper [WIP] for extras)

-

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3

A-Z Ask Game: 1

What is Swapfell Indigo?

With a very small, very affectionate s/o

With a s/o who hasn’t had the best life

With a diabetic s/o who cannot accept sweets from him

Stuff he enjoys in bed * (and if his s/o is kinda subby, too)

How his s/o’s first period around him might’ve gone

Why he’s a little more vulnerable when he comes from a Kill or Be Killed universe

His feelings on collaring (and if not being able to beat Mal is an obstacle...) Or if his s/o wants to wear a big bow as a collar?

Adapting to the surface

Pokemon team

With an argumentative s/o

-

Resisting a Rest

Snuggle Therapy

Dirty Laundry (plus The Hamper [WIP] for extras)

-

Slate (Horrortale Sans)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

A-Z Ask Game: 1 | 2 | 3

On fixing the hole in his skull

Making it work with a small normal-sized s/o

With a s/o trying to wear his clothes

Why is he so big?

With a s/o who wants to dress up fancy to go on a casual date

With a s/o recovering from anorexia

With a s/o who wants to kiss his hands

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

A meet-cute

Pokemon team

If his Phantump discovered some...memories...

With an adopted sibling in college who’s working too hard

With a s/o who has as much LV as he does

Is he a sadist?

Using his poor memory to trick/prank him

Can he see out of both eyes?

Skull damage

-

Fur a Good Time, Call... (plus Snips & Snails for extras)

Safekeeping

-

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

A-Z Ask Game: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

With a s/o who struggles with anxiety/depression

Making it work with a small normal-sized s/o

With a s/o trying to wear his clothes 

With a s/o who likes to be picked up

Why is he so big?

With a s/o recovering from anorexia

With a loving, domestic s/o

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Pokemon team

With a s/o who isn’t intimidated by/likes his height

Trauma/coping from the Underground

-

A Modest Proposal

-

Ash (Undergloom Sans)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

What is Undergloom?

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Pokemon team

-

Undergloom Sandbox (worldbuilding, meta, flash-drabbles)

-

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

What is Undergloom?

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Pokemon team

-

Undergloom Sandbox (worldbuilding, meta, flash-drabbles)

-

Brick (Horrorfell Sans)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

What is Horrorfell?

His ideal s/o

With someone struggling to learn sign who wants to communicate through text/writing

His feelings on his lost voice

Refusal to rely on text-to-speech

Reaction time

Swearing in sign

Acrylic vs wool

On knitting

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

His relationship with his brother

Surface wildlife

Telling his s/o about the Underground

Skull damage

Pokemon team

-

Tangles (WIP)

-

King (Horrorfell Papyrus)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

What is Horrorfell?

Who took the blame for all the dead humans? Well...

On King’s prosthetic leg

How to befriend/get close to him

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

His relationship with his brother

Surface wildlife

Telling his s/o about the Underground

Pokemon team

-

Sunny (G!Sans)

Random Headcanons: 1

What is Gastertale?

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Pokemon team

-

Aster (G!Papyrus)

Random Headcanons: 1

What is Gastertale?

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Pokemon team

-

Merc (Horrorswap Sans)

Random Headcanons: 1

What is Horrorswap?

Pink

No, not ALL the way pink

Though that would be cool

Does his personality change post-pink?

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Making up with his brother

Pokemon team

His ideal s/o

-

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus)

Random Headcanons: 1

What is Horrorswap?

Not pink, but blurple is nice too

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Making up with his brother

Pokemon team

-

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

What is Horrorswapfell?

HSF!Dirty Laundry

Blind jokes

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Making up with his brother

Skull damage

There’s a snake in his face

Pokemon team

-

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus)

Random Headcanons: 1 | 2

What is Horrorswapfell?

HSF!Dirty Laundry

Stuff he enjoys in bed *

Making up with his brother

Pokemon team

All the Skeles...

Where their nicknames came from (Part 2, Part 3)

The not-so-secret G!bros... [NO LONGER ACCURATE] THIS is the one you want!

Sending flowers to their s/o

With a s/o who has narcolepsy

Who can use shortcuts?

With a transgender s/o: 1 | 2

With an asexual s/o

With a s/o who has chronic pain (active skeles, and the lazybones)

Where to run into a Sans for the first time

Cats vs Dogs Opinions

With a s/o who’s having a birthmark surgery

With a cute, yet intelligent scientist s/o

With a shy, easily flustered s/o

With a s/o who has self-harm scars

Favorite Youtubers

With a ticklish s/o

With a s/o who cries a lot

With a s/o who dyed their hair to match their magic

LARPing

With a s/o who has a degenerative condition

D&D

Worst traits in a relationship (and the Silver Lining!)

Best traits in a relationship

Halloween: 1 | 2

With a death metal vocalist s/o

With an s/o who is a dragon

Astrological signs

Chinese Zodiac animal

Opinions on puns: 1 | 2

4/20 Blaze It

Accidentally walking in on their crush changing

Unique tastes in music

Meme literacy

With someone being aggressive toward their s/o

With a s/o who’s loud when excited and then self-conscious

Relative heights

...but if their heights were static and they had a relatively tall s/o

Weights...?

Boobs or butts? *  (Tumblr is dumb, here’s the exact same link)

With a monster s/o without eyes

With an s/o who sings about them

Who confesses first?

How does monster pregnancy work?

With a s/o who wants to be poly

With a bilingual s/o

With a monster s/o who’s the strong, silent type

Proposing to their s/o: Sanses | Papyri

Favorite Disney movies

With a s/o who has the power of KR

Beverage of choice

With an affectionate s/o after a wisdom teeth removal

With a crying s/o after a wisdom teeth removal

Can skeletons squish?

Body insecurities when with a human s/o

With a s/o scared of getting married and having kids

The brothers’ relationships with each other

On scary movies and a scaredy cat s/o

As adopted siblings to a teen/young adult human

Biggest pet peeves

With a s/o who has curly, fluffy hair

With a s/o that used to have an eating disorder

With a s/o who draws on themselves with sharpie

With a s/o having their period (And more on the HT boys specifically) (Plus an update with the new skeles)

With a s/o who has low self-esteem

With a s/o who has body-image issues

With a s/o having a bad day, and how to help on their bad days

What and who is The Judge? (Plus the new skeles)

With their pregnant s/o who forgot to tell them it was twins

Can monsters get sick?

With a s/o whose pet just died

With a s/o who draws them as superheroes

With a s/o who has projective chromesthesia

What jobs do they have on the surface?

Making their s/o gigglesnort for the first time

What kind of huggers are they?

Accidentally hurting their s/o in an argument... (but don’t panic because...)

With a pregnant s/o (and if he was the pregnant one)

With an accidentally pregnant s/o

With their brother’s s/o

Lingerie preferences * (Tumblr is dumb, here’s the exact same link, and here’s another link for the new skeles update)

With a s/o who can lift them

Dresses they might pick out for their s/o (or suits they might pick for their s/o)

With a s/o who wants to learn a new skill for them

What kind of kissers are they?

How they feel about Valentine hearts (and if their s/o decided to tease them...)

What kind of sweets they’d get their sweetie for Valentines Day

Gaster...?

What kind of cuddlers are they?

Feelings on petnames (and favorites to use) PLUS the reverse: (pet names they like to be called!)

Sharing a s/o with their brother...?

What kind of lovers are they? (And what if it’s their s/o’s first time?) *

Awareness of RESETs

Modern Stats

With a s/o who’s a criminal

As Pokémon

With a s/o who’s scared/anxious about pregnancy and childbirth

How fast do they move in a relationship?

How are they at aftercare?

How do they feel about being edged? Sanses | Papyri *

The Sanses stats

To a s/o who attempted suicide

With a s/o who secretly plays the guitar

How to get him riled up in public *

How they’re like when drunk/tipsy (and their drinks of choice!)

With a s/o who has split personalities

With a s/o who has a big secret in their past

The loud skeles with a s/o who gets bad headaches

Annoying Dog across AUs

With a s/o that snores

With a s/o who doesn’t like attention in bed and wants to take care of him instead *

On tattoos and other body-mods

Lifespans and aging

Feelings on public displays of affection

With a short-tempered s/o

All the Sanses are scientists!

As candies/sweet treats

Misc Underswap Alphyne headcanons

Preferred condiments/toppings

On Vocaloids

With a stoic crush who looks at them affectionately (UF, SF, HT)

With a shy s/o getting the courage to hold their hand for the first time

With a s/o who gets into a lot of trouble

With a sensitive s/o (UF & SF)

With an artistically-minded s/o

Thoughts on seeing their kid for the first time

With a s/o crying because they’re so happy

Prominent scars and injuries (UF, SF, HT)

Favorite cats & toys in Neko Atsume

Kinds of flowers they’d surprise their s/o with

Favorite foods

Who would win in a Pokemon tournament (or would they prefer a contest?)

What do they feed their Pokemon?

What are they like as yanderes?

With a s/o who wants to go to a Pride celebration

Hogwarts houses (and the new skeles update)

With a s/o who’s cut family members out of their life

When they’ll be comfortable with “I love you” with a s/o

Soft hands vs rough hands

With a s/o whose depression causes dissociation

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Nuzzling habits

A s/o trying to climb them (Papyri | Sanses)

Trying to surprise-kiss a tall skele

Knowledge of flower-language

How the upbeat skeles handle bad feelings

Opinions on humans

Cats & Dogs they might own

Talking during movies

The active skeles with a lazy s/o

Tics and habits

Baby Shark

Spooky Scary Skeletons

Which starter Pokemon would they pick?

Younger brothers’ first words

Age gap between the older and younger brothers

Area 51

On killing (UF, SF, HT)

Babybones Papyri bringing home a bad grade

Gaming habits

Being called ‘husband’ by a friend

Feelings on Pokemon (the game)

Can the innocent, sweet, naive skeletons take care of themselves?

Languages they might be interested to learn

On cursing

How they handle separation from their brother

Ideal honeymoons

Wild West AU

Surface integration for ‘fell ‘verses

Minor deity AU

Buying menstruation supplies for their s/o

Speech patterns across AUs (plus the new skeles)

Mood/stimboard vibes (plus UG and HF)

What animal would they be

As kinds of cake

Halloween costumes (new skeles only)

Frisk’s role in Swapfell

Playlists

On eye-lights and the shapes they make

So no additional humans died in HS and HSF?

Spit or swallow *

What would the skeles be like if they were gay?

On the intrusion of skull orifices

-

Hope for the Holidays (Sans & Papyrus bonding, no Reader)

Bag of Bones (drabble collection)

Working Out the Kinks (Kinktober 2018) * NSFW, not for minors!

Make Your Mark (Soulmate AU, and here’s the Symbolism Guide)

Flotsam and Jetsam (Mermay inspired, WIP)

Not So Spooky Scary (Halloween costume drabbles)

Choose Your Adventure (Holiday Edition)

Kinktober 2: Electric Boogaloo (Kinktober 2019, WIP) * NSFW, not for minors!

-

Soul Searching (w/skeletons 1-14)

-

Sweet Treats (drabble collection, WIP, w/all 20 skeletons)

[melissagt]

12, 14, 15, 20 (Fanfiction questions)

Questions here - 

12. Who is your current OT3? Theron Shan/Lelu Kallig (my OC Sith Inquisitor)/Andronikos Revel. It is a “V” relationship, in that Lelu is involved romantically with both of her boys, but Theron and Andronikos are not involved that way with each other. They are best friends, though, and they do all share their lives together. It was just easier that way, the living together part, because of who she is (my Outlander) and because their lives are all in a rather constant state of flux. It took a long time to get there, and yes, jealousy can be and still is a thing from time to time (we all suffer from it - it’s what we do about it that can make it unhealthy). They have to work at it, negotiate and learn as they go, and it’s always going to be that way. There are four relationships that make up this one whole…and each one is as important as the next - there’s the relationship Lelu has with Andronikos, the one she has with Theron, the friendship between Andronikos and Theron, and then the dynamic they all share together. If one suffers, they all suffer. 

(artwork by the lovely @dingoat)

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs? Well of course Theron and Andronikos have a rather important BroTP. It wasn’t always that way. Theron kind of belly-flopped into the happy little life Andronikos had going with Lelu, and Nik was rightfully pissed off, jealous, and apprehensive. There was a lot of tension at first. I wouldn’t say hatred…kind of pissy? Dick measurey? But then Lelu was taken away from both of them when she was captured by the Eternal Empire and locked in carbonite, and the boys were forced to overcome their differences and work together…first to stay alive and to maintain some semblance of a foothold as the power of the Eternal Empire washed across the known galaxy…then to form the beginnings of what would become the Alliance…and finally to find and recover the one who would lead them, the woman they both loved. 

Andronikos is also very good friends with Lieutenant (and eventual Major) Mason Pierce. Nik was never able to really get along with Imperial military, they had history…bad history…and he couldn’t stand that they all had gigantic sticks up their collective bungholes. But Pierce pretty much broke that mold. He was still Imperial, and still towed the line when he had to, but he was also laid back, and knew how to relax and be a person and not just a walking regulation. They hit it off almost immediately, and they continue to work together from within the Alliance. 

I suppose I could call it a BroTP, even though one of the members isn’t a “bro” - can I? I dun care, I will - Theron is very close with Raz, my Jedi Knight. One night in the Jedi temple on Coruscant, a very youngling Theron encountered a sniffling little Twi’lek girl, huddled in a corner, crying for her grandmother. It was Raz’s first night as a youngling and she was scared. He gave her a hug, and stayed with her all night, and they’ve been joined at the hip ever since…absolutely partners in crime. 

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love? I suppose SW x Pierce is kind of obscure. There aren’t many loud shippers for that one, Quinn almost always wins out, but I just love those two together. Quinn is okay, I have nothing against that ship at all, but I really just love my SW with her Pierce. Last time I checked I think there were only like 7 or 8 fics with a SW x Pierce tag, and three of them were mine! *gigglesnort* Come, join me in my Pierce canoe!

With LoTRO, I have a couple of obscure ships, and I’d say they’re obscure only because there aren’t any actual romances in the game. But I do have two main characters, and I ship each of them with different NPC’s. My Rohirrim Captain, Rosawyn I ship with Jajax, a quest-giving Corsair encountered in the Gondor region. He has turned his back on his people to support the Free Peoples of Middle Earth. My Dunedan Loremaster (ok, you can’t actually play a Dunedan but I HC it, so fight me), Lengariel aka Lennie, I ship with Lothrandir, a Dunedan Ranger who joins the Grey Company to journey south and answer the call to fight for the heir of Isildur. 

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking? Honestly? SI x Andronikos. It took me a couple playthroughs and writing about it to see the depth of Nik’s character and just how awesome he is. And wow, yeah…to go from “meh” to the top of my list was a giant move…and I’m totally glad it happened. 

Thanks for asking!

[panicked-nights]

Be my husband, I’ll be your wife {SIREN}

Things get a little serious on New Year's Eve.

Triggers: None

@attina-the-responsible​

PANIC Honestly Panic and Attima had more bad luck at town celebrations than they had good luck at them. That of course didn't stop them from dressing warm and heading out to see the acorn drop like it did every year. And just like every town celebration nothing stopped people from going out and seeing what there was to offer. It didnt stop Panic from tucking a small box into his jacket along with his phone either. Nor did it stop him from taking his girlfriend's hand and treating her to hot chocolate when they got closer to the stand. And it didnt stop him from kissing his girlfriend sweetly in front of everyone.  "This year is the year everything changes. New year different bullshit and better bullshit?" Panic teased taking her hand back into his.

 ATTINA: Attina loved New Year’s. Despite her rather pessimistic, anxious attitude, she was actually rather optimistic on the whole. And New Year’s was always a time to start fresh! That’s how Attina saw it. It was a time to leave the year before behind and look ahead. And there was plenty to look towards with excitement— Most prominently took the shape of Attina’s ever growing stomach, tucked up in layers tonight but still slightly visible if one looked closely enough (which was potentially on purpose.) She walked with a spring in her step, despite the unbalanced equilibrium, and smiled into the kiss when it was offered. "That sounds about right," she agreed with a little laugh, giving his hand a squeeze. "I am hoping for the better bullshit but you can never tell in this town. Any new year’s resolutions?"

 PANIC One could only hope for better bullshit and it wasnt like Panic could whisk Tina away like some people did. He would if he could. Convince her to explore the world and see everything she may have once dreamed of. He wished she could. As it was. Where she was was his home. "I'm just hoping for better bullshit tonight to be honest. I'd like a nice calm acorn drop.... wow did that actually come out of my mouth." Panic pretended to shiver pulling Attona closer. "Oh no I'm becoming sentimental."

 ATTINA: Attina laughed, stumbling into Panic’s side. "Oi, you’re going to make me drop my hot cocoa," she pouted at him, though she was still smiling and took a pointed little sip. "I don’t know if it is too sentimental to want things to go calmly. I always prefer that to the alternative." As she thought, briefly, of those alternatives, her free hand strayed down to the curve of her stomach, as it had been wont to do the past weeks.

 PANIC Panic isn't even hesitate as he steadied Attina. Her balance was off and he knew that and well she was precious in general but considering she was pregnant Panic was a lot more cautious as well. "At least dont drop it on me. I quite like this jacket." Panic teased putting one hand in his pocket flipping his phone around in his hand. "I think its sentimental when it never mattered to me. Most people expect the demon to thrive in chaos."

 ATTINA: Attina snorted and rolled her eyes a bit. Panic and his ~cool leather jackets. (Not that Attina didn’t like a good leather jacket, no no, they were very sexy.) "Well, most people think you-know-whats are monsters too, so—yay us! breaking stereotypes!" She rolled her eyes again, though this time not at Panic but at the world. It was the reason, in the end, it didn’t matter to her that Panic was a demon. Only in the confusing, technical, navigating a relationship with two people in one body kind of way did it matter. But otherwise: Panic was Panic. He’d showed her his heart and she trusted it.

 PANIC Panic grinned at her snort. It was very silly he knew but it made him smile nonetheless. Even if she was muttering about their stereotypes. There wasnt much that could be done about that. Panic wasnt someone who wanted to change the world. Just live in it peacefully. "I'd say we could be monsters together. But I feel like that doesnt sound as romantic outloud as it does in my head."

 ATTINA: Attina laughed at that, a proper out-loud kind of bark, gigglesnort-thing that had people looking at her from nearby. It wasn’t romantic, not really. A little over a year ago, she wouldn’t have laughed at all. She would not have found it very funny. But what were you supposed to do, when you lived in a world where you and the person you loved couldn’t reveal your identities for fear of swift and merciless persecution? "You’re starting to sound like Andrina," she warned him with a chuckle. "I think it could be romantic in its own way, I suppose." She tilted her head to the side as if thinking about it, but really she was just resting her head on Panic’s shoulder now. "Except I don’t think either of us are monsters. The world isn’t that black and white."

 PANIC Well at least if he wasnt being romantic he was being funny. That was all worth it. The funny thing was while Tina might not have seen them as monsters. Panic had grown up thinking he was one. Even now he thought he was one. "Please never tell her that I dont think either one if us will survive knowing we sound like one another." Panic joked though he moved his attention to the acorn drop. "I'll have to up my romance game then."

 ATTINA: Attina snorted a little, rolling her eyes for a third time. Of all her sisters, she was least concerned for any animosity that Andrina may harbor towards her boyfriend. And yes, she knew it existed. They were both very good at pretending it didn’t. Besides: Andrina knew Panic made Attina happy and that he was good to her. And, as far as Attina knew, Andy and Panic were on decent enough terms. It wasn’t like Attina’s past boyfriends, where everyone had commented on how terrible they were and predicted their inevitable doom. (To be fair: Paul has also escaped such venom.) But the thing was: Attina had always been aware her boyfriends were shitty. Being treated well was still a novelty to her and she did not take it for granted. Especially not now, when she knew she had to tread carefully and not demand too much of Panic, lest he collapse under more weight than she’d ever put on any of her previous boyfriends. It was partially this fear that made her hesitant to criticize Panic’s romance. Not that she would anyway—despite her hopeless romantic tendencies, Attjna didn’t demand much. She knew she was a basket case and also easy to please. A surprise bouquet of flowers would sate her romantic appetite for at least a month. And she did think Panic did a very good job, so it was only partially in interest of placating him that she disagreed. "I think your romance is just fine," Attina told him, snuggling against his arm. "Just give me a New Year’s kiss and I’ll be good until Valentine’s Day."

 PANIC Oh Panic didn't like that. He assumed it was a joke, but that didn't mean that he liked it all that much. He would never let up on the romance. Not when they had their daughter on the way too. "I'll let you think that's all I'm doing and then surprise you with something else." Panic planned on a lot of surprises in the future. Attina deserved the world and while he didn't know if he could give it to her, he would try. "Do you have any resolutions for the new year?" Panic asked turning them to walk among all the New Years decorations.

 ATTINA: Attina raised her eyebrows, but she wasn’t going to complain about her boyfriend insisting on being romantic. She wasn’t going to expect much romance—or try not to anyway—but she also wasn’t going to say no. "Alright, I suppose that’s acceptable," she teased him as they started walking. They strolled, Attina distracted by all the twinkling lights that had been up since before Christmas, until Panic spoke again. "Hmmm," she hummed. "Travel, maybe. Though, I suppose that’s not realistic with a baby in tow. But even just up to London might be nice, I haven’t traveled in so long. And—be a good mother, I think. I don’t know how to...quantify that but I want to try." She tried not to worry about being a mum too much, and she didn’t, not really, because she really had done it so much and knew she had a mothering nature, but it was already so different. "What about you?"

 PANIC Panic hadnt really cared about twinkly lights before honestly his and Pain's apartment hadnt had a christmas tree the other yeara they were here either. But twinkly lights at Christmas that were still up at new years was perfect. And people disbursing to stay warm or get closer to the acorn drop just made the moment more perfect for them. "I want to be a good Father too." Panic started nodding at the very idea however they quantified it. At least they would be making a difference in her life. "We will have to try and make a trip out to Percy's family. They will want to see her as weird as that might be so there's some traveling." But things just for him. "I want to try learning a new skill. I'm not sure what yet but something I just do." Not connected to Pain or Percy.

 ATTINA: It was weird, but at the same time, Attina kind of liked the idea of it. She was used to a big family. And she wanted her daughter to be surrounded by people. An extra set of grandparents never hurt anyone. So, she just smiled and nodded a little at that and his next resolution too. "Ooh, that’s a good one. Like what? If you want to learn an instrument my family has you covered." She didn’t mention she could teach him, because she very rarely ever talked about her own musical talent. "Or Mellie has you for artistry. If you want sports, Aqua. Lana could teach you photography. Andy can show you how to hack. We’re a regular Von Trapp family." A joke she made a lot. What? It was true!

 PANIC That was a lot of options. Ones he hadnt even considered. Well I already started to learn BSL with Adella so that wouldnt count. Maybe something calm like drawing would be interesting. I dont even know what instrument would be fun to play and Idont want to be the typical man who only learns the guitar cause it looks cool." PANIC explained getting them finally to the perfect place where the lights dipped around a park bench. A lovely little halo of lights. "Do you wanna sit at all? We will be on our feet for the rest of the night at this rate. "

 ATTINA: Attina could give him a whole list of options: piano maybe most suited to those dexterous chef fingers, but there was nothing wrong with a solid guitar. There was also more complicated choices like a sax or harp, but those were instruments you grew up with. Ones that you understood with the innate sense of a native language. "Uhm, hm—maybe. I’m not incapable of walking long distances yet, though." She said this even as she took a seat, pulling him down next to her. She kissed his cheek. "We can’t see the ball drop from over here, we’re going to miss it." Even though it was still a while off, Attina didn’t know the exact time, she’d been ~living in the moment. Another, more secret, resolution of hers.

 PANIC No Tina of course wasn't incapable of walking distances yet but he wanted her sitting so he'd pretend if he needed to. Still he sat with her glancing around and once down at his phone careful to keep the box where it was. While he couldnt make sure everyone was where they needed to be he had the right time and he had to trust that everyone else would as well. "I think we've got a solid hour at the very least till we need to get closer. Do you wanna know another resolution of mine?"

 ATTINA: Attina briefly glanced down at Panic’s phone as he pulled it out to check the time. He was right, they had plenty of time. Which was nice, both because the decorations were beautiful and also, okay, maybe her feet hurt a little. The dreaded swollen feet soon on the horizon. Attina had made a pact with herself not to complain about the maladies of pregnancy post-morning sickness finishing. Good Vibes Only. And, really, she didn’t much feel like complaining anyway. She thought it was pretty amazing, even if she would detest the stretch marks and ultimate damage. She was not immune to mermaid vanity. However, she wasn’t really thinking about that—or much at all—simply enjoying the quiet and the buzzing anticipation of the new year. At Panic’s question, Attina tilted her head a little, for the first time sensing something might be up. "Of course," she told him, curiosity glinting in her eyes. "What is it?"

 PANIC Honestly Panic had this ring for a few months now. Had glanced around even sooner than that. Just in case something perfect came up. It wasnt hard to get Attina's ring size. Not when she had 6 sisters and he knew all of them. So he was prepared. He just wanted to make it special and it felt pretty special having it done just before new years with Lana ready to take pictures and the most if not all her sisters hovering somewhere in the general vicinity. He had done all that he could to make sure it was as special given the current situation. So with her question Panic twisted around so he was kneeling on one knee infront of her and finishing out the box from his jacket pocket opening it to a simple gold band with green and white gems. "I was hoping I could be a good fiance as well. I know we've done a lot of things backwards but Attina I've known you're the one for me since the moment we met and we were fake married for a week. I know I would have proposed to you given the chance and I know I want you in my life for however long that might be. I love you with all my heart and everything that I am. Will you marry me?"

ATTINA: For someone who had imagined this moment her whole life, when it finally came, she was a little slow on the uptake. In her defense: she was expecting a resolution, not a proposal! The reality dawned on her a little late and for the first few seconds, she only stared at Panic, then dropped her gaze down to the ring, which twinkled prettily in the festive lights. When her gaze flicked back up, her eyes were shimmering with tears and she covered her mouth with a hand. The words Panic spoke were somehow perfect—leaving not an ounce of doubt in Attina. Not in that moment. Her insecurities had slipped away like a school of fish, spooked by the surety of Panic’s love. She smiled and then nodded—and then, forgot to say anything. "Oh! Right! Yes! Yes, definitely yes!" she told him, her legs bouncing slightly with excitement before she leaned forward to throw her arms around his neck, almost knocking them both off balance.

 PANIC Panic had learned a lot of things about his girlfriend in the months they dated. Broke up and dates again. He knew the quirks and he knew sometimes how her mind worked. He knew that she would say yes. Even as the seconds slipped by waiting for things to process in her mind. ( of course he knew she would say yes he wouldn't have mentioned it to her family if he wasnt) He was quick to wrap his arms around her when she hugged him. Now that was the reaction he was expecting. Or well he was expecting to be knocked on the ground by her. "Well let me put this ring on your finger then so the whole world knows you've said yes."

ATTINA: For the record: under other circumstances, Attina definitely would’ve knocked Panic to the ground, but she couldn’t exactly do that at this angle from sitting on the bench—she was already smooshing her stomach enough just leaning over to hug him. Not that it was painful or anything, the angle was just wrong for a full on tackle-hug. However, she liked to think she squeezed him tight enough to make up for it. So intent on the hugging was she that Attina had forgotten about the ring, honestly. Which was part pregnancy-brain and part oh-my-neptune-I’m-engaged!-brain. But Panic was right, it wasn’t official until she got the ring on her finger. As soon as he mentioned it, she popped back and smiled wide, tears now bubbling over the lids of her eyes. She’d like to blame this on hormones too, but absolutely no one would believe her. She wiggled her fingers at him until he slipped the ring on and she held it up to admire it in the light. Attina loved her jewelry, she wore plenty of it: rings and bracelets and necklaces and earrings. Jewelry was a large part of mermaid culture and engagement and wedding rings were actually something the human world and mermaids shared. (Though both sexes wore them and on a different finger.) She’d never worn something on her left ring finger, though, leaving it for that special piece of jewelry. It felt a little funny on her finger but she just twisted her hand about in the light, admiring it. “Ooooh, it’s perfect!” she declared and then leaned over to kiss him, her left hand coming up to cup his jaw as she did so.

 PANIC Panic loved the blubbering tears in Attina's eyes. She was emotional and he was her rock. But that didnt stop his eyes over with tears as he smiled at her. Admiring the ring on her finger before taking her face in his hands so even if she hadnt brought him in for a kiss he would have kissed her. "Fair warning your sisters are around here so play nice." Panic whispered when they separated glancing around for them briefly before returning his gaze to his fiancee.

 ATTINA: The kiss was sweet and good. Full of promises and resolutions and the future. All things good. Even the quirk in all her furious planning (now she had to add a wedding to buying a house and baby stuff!!) wasn’t a problem. Not at all. If anything—it made her excited. She could easily make room for being a wife. For having a husband. When the kiss broke, she was still smiling and crying and giggled a bit as she caught sight of the tears glistening in Panic’s own eyes. She scrunched her nose playfully at him, her smile getting even wider. Her sisters were here?! "They knew?! Those bitches,” she hissed, but didn’t mean it at all. She leaned in and kissed Panic again. “Oh!” The kiss broke. “Are there pictures?!" She gave a delighted squeal and popped up off the bench, dragging Panic with her. “C’mon! We’ve got to go look! Oh! And tell Daddy! And tell Alex and Piper and Simba and Nala and Ella and—post on Instagram!" she said all in one breath.

[coal15]

Disclaimer: I know, I know, I KNOW we’re all tired of a certain SPN ship being mentioned alongside Queliot since they literally have nothing in common besides both being m/m ships--but a few days ago I was running around doing grown up shit, and thought of something that made me gigglesnort. Out loud. Like, really loud. In public. 

So this isn’t a serious comparison, but now that The Magicians have made Queliot Textually Romantic, if the SPN writers did actually make Romantic D*stiel fully canon in like . . . the final minutes of the final episode of the series? I just imagine the entire Magicians writing staff grinning and side-eyeing like hell and going all: “You did the thing. Did we shame you into doing the thing? We did, didn’t we? You did it to fit in with the cool kids! HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!” 

[monstersandmaw]

I restarted DA: I just so I could make an enormous and adorable qunari boi. Everyone, meet Tamishok. 

Tam I’m so sorry I put you in that armour but it was the best I had at that point and honestly, you rock it sweetheart

Tam is Tal-Vashoth, was at the conclave as a bodyguard for his ageing master. He was/is part of the mercenary band, the Valo-Kas, as is game-canon, but he’d been away on his own and studying with the mage ever since his own magics manifested (very late, at around 17yrs old). He’s a very accomplished hand-to-hand fighter, is a complete cuddle-bug/cinnamon roll, and, speaking of, he would actually much rather be a patissier in Val Royeaux than Inquisitor... While he’s quite naive and quite gullible (Varric has lost track of how many times he’s convinced both Tam and Cass of something absurd in the same breath, while Solas just rolls his eyes...), Tam is painfully honourable, and will now see this new duty through to the end. 

He’s also just... huge. I love watching him interact with everyone and have them crick their necks up to talk to him *gigglesnort*. Tam is very aware of his own strength (but not quite of how tall he is, and often knocks his horns on low doorways and ceilings), and he knows how easy it is for him to hurt someone inadvertently, so he often moves slowly, and his voice can be naturally quite loud, so he tends to be relatively non-verbal, keeping his thoughts to himself until he really has to speak. In the past, this has led people to thinking he’s slow of mind, but he’s a really good problem solver, who just likes to think things through before he speaks. 

I probably won’t play through it all the way through as him, but he’s fun to enjoy and think about... Not sure who he’d romance really. He’s pan, and doesn’t have a particularly high sex drive. He enjoys sex very much, but doesn’t think about it outside the moment very often. He’s also never been in a proper relationship.