#i got rid of twitter so now all my rants have to go on here ig

[plastictoad]

the library has started CHARGING for reservations now??? wtf????

and not even a token amount like £3 builds up fast if you want to read a lot???

i remember they used to have 10p reservations and that seemed ridiculous + I was so glad they ditched them 😭 wtf is THIS

[caitlynnrosespn]

Another Rant. More Like A Response.

So I was going to make a video about this because I have a lot to say. But I realized that the stutter I thought I had gotten rid of Freshman years comes out heavily if I'm pissed, which I currently am, so I'll just save use the headache and type this out.

Also tagging @apexious cuz they wanted to see this.

Look. I could totally tag people. I could name names. But I'm not going to. Because at this point everyone has probably either seen this post or knows who this person is. And goddamn do I have a lot to say about them.

Number 1: If you're gonna call me out call me out bestie. Coming after me for a post I made expressing discomfort at a NSFW self ship is fine and all, but then you go ahead and say stuff like "adult people can have adult thoughts about other adults" when my post was referring to a fanfic written by a KID? Get your facts straight before you say anything that's public. Here's the thing, was my post in poor taste? Quite possibly. Was there an adult way to handle it and get the results you wanted? Oh yeah. Did you do the adult thing? Nope! Instead of either A. taking it to a private message and explaining what was wrong or B. making a respectful post that highlighted what was wrong in a mature way, you made a disrespectful, arrogant, self righteous post bashing an entire fanbase despite the fact that only a few people were at large. So now, instead of placing the responsibility of accountable parties, which I would have been included in, and allowing to own up and apologize, you have now not only included yourself into the problem, but also blown the problem wayyyy out of proportion. May I remind you that we are a fairly tiny fandom based on a video game directed at children? I've been playing since 2012, so believe me when I say these games have come a long way. Hell, these characters now in fanfics didn't have names until The Traveler season happened. Remember the days of referring to characters as "the coach from One Kiss" or "Jessy's guy in Swish Swish" or "P1 in Lean On"? Yeah, that was surprisingly not that long ago. So it is responsible to believe that the concept of NSFW or self shipping in a fandom is relatively new to us. Shit, we are not going to act like a normal fandom! This fandom is very different then others, so if we make a mistake like bagging on things that are all normal in other fandoms, then be fucking patient! Call it out in a respectable way, and let us fix it! We always do!

Next, the other problems you discussed? Are they currently in the room with us? I have not seen these problems like, at all. There is no mass shitting on people who have comfort characters. People who fetishsize and disrespect characters? Hell yeah (we took care of people like youngjackissohot and others), but not genuine comfort/kinny characters. The vast majority of us have a comfort character and that's why we are in this fucking community in the first place! Maybe i'm just blind as a bat, but I have not seen anyone tear apart anyone watching maps on Youtube. Bitch, most of us don't have a Switch so those maps on Youtube are our saving grace to stay in this community. Is this happening on another site, like Reddit or Twitter? Cuz if so maybe you should have gone and bitched to them instead of complain on here.

And you don't think we should benefit from your presence in this community? Ok Jesus, sorry you're leaving! Seriously though, while I appreciate everyone in this community and think you make an impact no matter how big it is, this is a classic case of "someone got a little too big for their britches". Sure, we hate to see you go. But like you said, you haven't been active since Lover Coaster (which you couldn't even remember the name of btw-how in the absolute fuck are you going to get involved with Fandom matters if you can't even name the last season you remember?) and we all survived without you. So don't pretend all of a sudden you're some hotshot celebrity whose mere absence in this community will affect anything. I have a few good fics that I am updating frequently that I know people will enjoy, and I've active for a good while, but I know if I fell of the face of the earth right now my absence in the fandom won't cause any major issues. Get a reality check.

Lastly, you're dealing with a fandom here. A group of humans who are all flawed and all make mistakes and all have their moments. If you're not happy with the ugly sides of that, then I'm sorry but you don't deserve to benefit from the many good sides. We are by far the least problematic fandom I have so far heard of. For the most part, we are kind to each other and care for each other and we love each other. If we make mistakes we make sure to fix them and then we carry on. If you have a problem with us not always getting along and us sometimes having our moments then don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I'm sorry you have to see this side of me, but come after this family and call us nothing more than a group of fucking assholes and see what happens next bitch. Cuz next time I won't hesitate to nane names.

[jerseymichaels]

I don’t really know where to start this or what I’m even going to say, because quite frankly I still haven’t processed everything and my emotions are so all over the place it’s going to be hard to write a coherent thought. But I dunno- I just feel like venting and ranting.

I started watching AH in 2011. 11 years ago. It’s weird to say that- it never felt like it was that long. They’ve been a constant in my life, they were there for pretty much every rough patch I had in those 11 years. It’s hard to look at how much they helped me keep going now, but they really truly did.

In 2013 I lost my grandmother. AH was there. In 2014 I was mentally and verbally abused and AH was there. In 2015 I started college and AH got me through every single stressful, insane year of it. They were even a lot of my inspiration in the art projects I turned in for classes. In the summer of 2019 I fell into crippling, all-consuming depression and if it weren’t for AH (and the people I met through the community) I honestly might not be here today.

In 2020, it all crashed down around me when all of the horrid things Ryan had done came out. He was a lot of the reason I was involved in the community- I started watching his streams, and then made a Twitter, then a Tumblr. I almost walked away then. I told myself it might be best to keep my distance. In the end I found myself going back to all of my favorite comfort videos of theirs (sans-Ryan of course) and knew I really wasn’t going anywhere. They had just helped me through too much. I couldn’t walk away.

And now we’re here, in 2022. Everything that was said by them, about fostering a healthy workplace and environment… about treating everyone as equals… saying they were going to make changes… empty promises. It was all so hollow. Every single time I check Twitter, or Tumblr, or Reddit, there’s always a new horror story from a former employee.

I’m so disappointed that I ever supported them. I can admit my relationship with them was unhealthy at points, and I knew it and didn’t do anything to distance myself more until 2021- and even then I still had a first subscription and watched some videos every week. Earlier this year I went to RTX, something I’d dreamed of since I learned it existed, and genuinely had one of the greatest weekends of my life. All of those memories feel so tainted now. Looking at the badge makes me feel kind of gross now, to be honest, though I know I bought it before I knew the truth.

I’m grappling really hard with letting go of RT. I absolutely will because the last thing I’d ever want to do is give this company any more of my support after all they’ve done… but it’s so god damn hard. They’ve meant so much for me for so long. I’ve made some of my best friends through the community, and even met my now-fiancé. Obviously my relationships with them have become removed from the community sphere, but it’s still where the root of our friendship came from. It sucks that the way that I met some of the most important people in my life is tainted now.

Keeping this blog as a Michael blog is even making me feel a little weird and guilty- even though Kdin forgave him and he wouldn’t have any hand in the wage theft/other company issues. I dunno, I’m just not sure if it’s still respectful, or if I should just get rid of this blog. It’s a tough line to draw.

I just really don’t know, man.

[monstermaster13]

Name: Matthias T.Radke/Werebelushi In Shades.

Species: I am a Werebelushi.

Gender: Male.

Theme Song: Ruthless People.

Personality: On screen as my reviewer persona I am brash, aggressive, and in your face but outside of my persona I am very much just a nice everyday person, it's just i've got limits on what I can and can't allow.

Likes: Reviewing good media that is requested to me by friends including movies, comics, characters, etc, doing comedy skits with my friends, helping my friends, slaying the forces of evil, watching SNL.

Dislikes: Bad movies, bad remakes, bad adaptations of tv shows, bad sequels or prequels, bad fanfiction, having to do reviews of anything involving that certain annoying bird (I keep insisting I don't want to do them but my producers are assholes and they keep making me do it, I want them to get fired but I apparently can't fire them because they know what gets good views, they know my viewers love the rants and outbursts, they want to see me inflict pain on these terrible pieces of media, they are sadistic, yes.. but trust me, it's a good thing I don't drink because given how many times i've reviewed Ciel's shit already I would have likely died from alcohol poisoning by now), people who say I do nothing but complain…look, it's their fault they cannot handle criticism, even if they think they are above criticism they still have the need to try and act like i'm in the wrong for having a different opinion, people these days are just so oversensitive, like I could say that I hate Forrest Gump and I guarantee one person on twitter is likely going to be 'please block this man, he hates forrest gump, he is a Tom Hanksophobe.'

Love interest: Don't have one.

Friends: Mel, Eucalyptus, Nathan, and all my viewers.

Biggest pet peeve: Yeah i'm sorry but I cannot stand people who think I complain too much, like dude i'm a reviewer, it's my job to critique things and yeah I cannot stand certain things like forced mind control, when suiting is used in a transformation and doesn't go anywhere apart from trapping someone in a suit (putting on a suit made to look like a Pokemon and transforming because of it only for nothing to happen isn't a tf, it's a dude in a costume, not a real tf, it doesn't count, that is just a human in a kigurumi/onesie that looks like a Pokemon that transforms him and that's it, it's just lazy if you ask me, look can't anyone just make a monster that DOESN'T use suiting as a method? I am just asking…why couldn't it just have been a symbiote or something?), anything with diapers, fat characters being made the butt of the joke, etc and well if you don't like my opinions maybe you shouldn't be complaining, Nathan does the positive reviews, I do the negative stuff and for a good reason. Because that's what Nathan's lists are for. I have positive opinions too, you know, and I DO contribute, thank you very much, by getting rid of the trash of this universe. I am the trash-man, I pick up the trash that gets thrown around here and throw it out all over and then pick it up again, then I start eating the garbage, then I bash someone over the head.

Best friends: Mel, Nathan.

Favorite video game: Dead by Daylight, MK11.

Favorite food: Difficult to say…I have many favorites.

Favorite color: Hard to say.

Favorite TV Show: SNL, SCTV, Grimm, Twin Peaks, Hell's Kitchen, Face-Off, Masked Singer, Blackadder, X-Factor.

Favorite Movies: Blues Brothers, any 80's era horror movie, The Godfather trilogy, Demolition Man, From Dusk Till Dawn, Bad Taste, Meet the Feebles, Evil Dead franchise, Maniac Cop, Terror Toons, Beetlejuice.

[qqueenofhades]

Do you really hate this county? Or were you just ranting?

Sigh. I debated whether or not to answer this, since I usually keep the real-life/politics/depressing current events to a relative minimum on this blog, except when I really can't avoid ranting about it. But I have some things to get off my chest, it seems, and you did ask. So.

The thing is, any American with a single modicum of genuine historical consciousness knows that despite all the triumphalist mythology about Pulling Up By Our Bootstraps and the American Dream and etc, this country was founded and built on the massive and systematic exploitation and extermination of Black and Indigenous people. And now, when we are barely (400 years later!!!) getting to a point of acknowledging that in a widespread way, oh my god the screaming. I'm so sick of the American right wing I could spit for so many reasons, not least of which is the increasingly reductive and reactive attempts to put the genie back in the bottle and set up hysterical boogeymen about how Teaching Your Children Critical Race Theory is the end of all things. They have forfeited all pretense of being a real governing party; remember how their only platform at the 2020 RNC was "support whatever Trump says?" They have devolved to the point where the cruelty IS the point, to everyone who doesn't fit the nakedly white supremacist mold. They don't have anything to do aside from attempt to usher in actual, literal, dictionary-definition-of-fascism and sponsor armed revolts against the peaceful transfer of power.

That is fucking exhausting to be aware of all the time, especially with the knowledge that if we miss a single election cycle -- which is exceptionally easy to do with the way the Democratic electorate needs to be wooed and courted and herded like cats every single time, rather than just getting their asses to the polls and voting to keep Nazis out of office -- they will be right back in power again. If Manchin and Sinema don't get over their poseur pearl-clutching and either nuke the filibuster or carve out an exception for voting rights, the John Lewis Voting Rights Act is never going to get passed, no matter how many boilerplate appeals the Democratic leadership makes on Twitter. In which case, the 2022 midterms are going to give us Kevin McCarthy, Speaker of the House (I threw up in my mouth a little typing that) and right back to the Mitch McConnell Obstruction Power Hour in the Senate. The Online Left (TM) will then blame the Democrats for not doing more to stop them. These are, of course, the same people who refused to vote for Hillary Clinton out of precious moral purity reasons in 2016, handed the election to Trump, and now like to complain when the Trump-stacked Supreme Court reliably churns out terrible decisions. Gee, it's almost like elections have consequences!!

Aside from my exasperation with the death-cult right-wing fascists and the Online Left (TM), I am sick and tired of how forty years of "trickle-down" Reaganomics has created a world where billionaires can just fly to space for the fun of it, while the rest of America (and the world) is even more sick, poor, overheated, economically deprived, and unable to survive the biggest public health crisis in a century, even if half the elected leadership wasn't actively trying to sabotage it. Did you know that half of American workers can't even afford a one-bedroom apartment? Plus the obvious scandal that is race relations, health care, paid leave, the education system (or lack thereof), etc etc. I'm so tired of this America Is The Greatest Country in the World mindless jingoistic catchphrasing. We are an empire in the late stages of collapse and it's not going to be pretty for anyone. We have been poisoned on sociopathic-libertarian-selfishness-disguised-as-Freedom ideology for so long that that's all there is left. We have become a country of idiots who believe everything their idiot friends post on social media, but in a very real sense, it's not directly those individuals' fault. How could they, when they have been very deliberately cultivated into that mindset and stripped of critical thinking skills, to serve a noxious combination of money, power, and ideology?

I am tired of the fact that I have become so drained of empathy that when I see news about more people who refused to get the vaccine predictably dying of COVID, my reaction is "eh, whatever, they kind of deserved it." I KNOW that is not a good mindset to have, and I am doing my best to maintain my personal attempts to be kind to those I meet and to do my small part to make the world better. I know these are human beings who believed what they were told by people that they (for whatever reason) thought knew better than them, and that they are part of someone's family, they had loved ones, etc. But I just can't summon up the will to give a single damn about them (I'm keeping a bingo card of right-wing anti-vax radio hosts who die of COVID and every time it's like, "Alexa, play Another One Bites The Dust.") The course that the pandemic took in 21st-century America was not preordained or inevitable. It was (and continues to be) drastically mismanaged for cynical political reasons, and the legacy of the Former Guy continues to poison any attempts to bring it under control or convince people to get a goddamn vaccine. We now have over 100,000 patients hospitalized with COVID across the country -- more than last summer, when the vaccines weren't available.

I have been open about my fury about the devaluation of the humanities and other critical thinking skills, about the fact that as an academic in this field, my chances of getting a full-time job for which I have trained extensively and acquired a specialist PhD are... very low. I am tired of the fact that Americans have been encouraged to believe whatever bullshit they fucking please, regardless of whether it is remotely true, and told that any attempt to correct them is "anti-freedom." I am tired of how little the education system functions in a useful way at all -- not necessarily due to the fault of teachers, who have to work with what they're given, and who are basically heroes struggling stubbornly along in a profession that actively hates them, but because of relentless under-funding, political interference, and furious attempts, as discussed above, to keep white America safely in the dark about its actual history. I am tired of the fact that grade school education basically relies on passing the right standardized tests, the end. I am tired of the implication that the truth is too scary or "un-American" to handle. I am tired. Tired.

I know as well that "America" is not synonymous in all cases with "capitalist imperialist white-supremacist corporate death cult." This is still the most diverse country in the world. "America" is not just rich white middle-aged Republicans. "America" involves a ton of people of color, women, LGBTQ people, Muslims, Jews, Christians of good will (I have a whole other rant on how American Christianity as a whole has yielded all pretense of being any sort of a principled moral opposition), white allies, etc etc. all trying to make a better world. The blue, highly vaccinated, Biden-winning states and counties are leading the economic recovery and enacting all kinds of progressive-wishlist dream policies. We DID get rid of the Orange One via the electoral process and avert fascism at the ballot box, which is almost unheard-of, historically speaking. But because, as also discussed above, certain elements of the Democratic electorate need to fall in love with a candidate every single time or threaten to withhold their vote to punish the rest of the country for not being Progressive Enough, these gains are constantly fragile and at risk of being undone in the next electoral cycle. Yes, the existing system is a crock of shit. But it's what we've got right now, and the other alternative is open fascism, which we all got a terrifying taste of over the last four years. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to go back.

So... I don't know. I don't know if that stacks up to hate. I do hate almost everything about what this country currently is, structurally speaking, but I recognize that is not identical with the many people who still live here and are trying to do their best, including my friends, family, and myself. I am exhausted by the fact that as an older millennial, I am expected to survive multiple cataclysmic economic crashes, a planet that is literally boiling alive, a barely functional political system run on black cash, lies, and xenophobia, a total lack of critical thinking skills, renewed assaults on women/queer people/POC/etc, and somehow feel like I'm confident or prepared for the future. Not all these problems are only America's fault alone. The West as a whole bears huge responsibility for the current clusterfuck that the world is in, for many reasons, and so do some non-Western countries. But there is no denying that many of these problems have ultimate American roots. See how the ongoing fad for right-wing authoritarian strongmen around the world has them modeling themselves openly on Trump (like Brazil's lunatic president, Jair Bolsonaro, who talks all the time about how Trump is his political role model). See what's going on in Afghanistan right now. Etc. etc.

Anyway. I am very, very tired. There you have it.

[lochsides]

Yellow Metal - cathartic Review

Here’s something I did not expect to be reviewing this week but when Zayn drops a 24 minute rap track, you fall in line. I had to listen to it a couple times through before I could even begin to make sense of my thoughts because my brain sort of malfunctioned. I have never been prouder to be a Zayn fan. He’s such a nuanced songwriter and there is so much to unpack here.

I think this is the most unfiltered version of Zayn that we have ever been exposed to (and possibly will ever be). I am grateful that he said his piece in this because it needed to be said. As a brown woman, I felt so seen by this and I cannot explain what that means to me. Thank you Z, for your unvarnished truth in addressing racism and various forms of discrimination.

I’m doing a short lyrical analysis below the cut, but the TLDR is that this is a fantastic piece of art that deserves to be heard.

I wish he had released this as an EP because that would be easier to review than a single 24 minute song, structurally speaking. So instead, I have picked out some key lyrics, going from top to bottom, that really spoke to me and decided to study the song that way. His lyricism is hard-hitting in this track. It is beyond anything he has ever released before.

“The planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving until we ascend so fuck the fence.” — I have not seen this lyric being talked about in the fandom, because the lyrics that follow this steal the show, rightly so, but I wanted to give this line a moment because it’s important too. To me, this lyric speaks to where Zayn is at with his relationship with the physical world. He’s out on the farm (about which he even goes to say “tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor”) and I believe he’s happy in his space and he feels connected to nature (also see River Road). So it is a poignant and slightly jaded, but valid perspective that he shares on climate change. It’s never leaving until we ascend. The damage human beings have done to the planet won’t be undone until there are no humans left to do damage. It’s a single sentence that says so much about the depth of the climate crisis. I’m doing my PhD on urban air quality so this is something I care really deeply about and I resonated with.

“And until they stop killing colour, it’s fuck the feds.” — Yeah, agreed Zayn. The systemic racism that he calls out here is echoed throughout the song, in equal parts anger and boldness. I love that he isn’t glossing over it with metaphors, which he could easily do and it would be beautiful in a totally different way, but this makes it harder for racists to overlook. There is so much power in calling it like it is.

“Never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a Benadryl, keeping it green in general.” — It frustrates me to no end to see Zayn painted as this drug-addicted lazy musician that doesn’t care about his work, because we know how untrue that is. This narrative is tired and simply boring too, and I won’t get into the racist connotations of it when you consider it against his white colleagues who smoke as much as him but that isn’t one of their defining traits in the media.

“I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work … it was hard work that got me heard” — I love the juxtaposition in this verse. The public/media perception on his career is that Zayn doesn’t put in effort or that he doesn’t want it. This obviously stems from his leaving the band. It goes back to what I was saying before about narrative, when in reality, as Zayn has said on various occasions, he fights to make his own choices. And that doesn’t have to look the way everyone else expects it to (“I beg you, don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt”), he has his own struggles that have helped forge his path, but it is his path that he paved, himself. He works hard to be heard. He has to. It reminds me of something my parents used to tell me when I was younger about being immigrants: you have to work 10 times harder for the same opportunities just because of the colour of your skin or your name on the cv. It’s a harsh truth to grow up with but it was my reality, as it is for most POC.

“This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm you. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here ‘til they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80…” — There is something about the simplicity of these lyrics are the messaging that I love. He isn’t trying too hard to sound poetic but he still manages it perfectly.

“All I've been achieving, clocking miles in this region, moving like a legion. Promise that I made to myself, an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving? Staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving. // I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy. It’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on the mike.” — This is the only 1D-related lyric I’ll make reference to because this song is about so much more than that. That said though, we cannot overlook Zayn’s experiences in the band because that is part of his story. The tongue-in-cheek of “I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving” is hilarious to me. The line about not wanting to be his own enemy anymore and growing up from 17 reminds me of that quote Taylor (Swift) mentioned in Miss Americana about celebrities getting stuck at the age they got famous. I think this verse is similar to that. None of them ever wanted to be in the band and I don’t care what anyone says, Zayn leaving and proving success outside the band gave the rest of them the courage to follow their own solo careers. Sure there was drama surrounding the split but he did it for himself, to tell his stories the way he is now. Whatever else you have to say about him, you cannot deny his authenticity.

“I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane.” — I think this line tells us 2 things, the first being that this song was not leaked. Z knew what he was doing and his twitter likes tell us as much. He didn’t release it for any sort of attention, otherwise it would be widely available on streaming platforms and for purchase. Which leads to my second point, he released this song to get everything he talks about on the track off his chest. Its referenced in other lyrics too, like “now you see where I come from, the world don’t.” This was for whoever cared to listen, not the world. It’s inaccessible for a reason. I love that he threw those lyrics in. It makes the song feel more like a private conversation or listening to a friend rant. It creates a different form of intimacy between himself and his fans.

“Lessons that I’ve learned, I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself. So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt.” — This one is for anyone that buys into conspiracy theories surrounding Zayn’s personal life. He surrounds himself with real people, real friendships, real connections. I have never bought into the bullshit that he has zero autonomy over his personal life. I love the use of plastic melting as a metaphor for ridding his life of fakeness.

“Feeling trapped. This industry is a cage.” — Zayn is obviously not the first person to say it. Many artists talk about how suffocating the industry is ( which he further comments on in the sung portion: “I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this”). Fame is such a wild and unnatural concept and the exploitation and politics of the music industry only feed further into it. The industry being a cage makes me think of zoos and how celebrities are animals on display, when they should be free in the wild. I also really like the musical interlude following this part.

“Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views.” — Zayn toes the line between keeping to himself and speaking out on important issues, sometimes not very well. I am his biggest cheerleader, but I’m not up his ass. There have been many occasions where he could’ve done better. But I cannot fault him for being offended by the State because same, Z, same. I love that he took this song as an opportunity to real speak out, no punches pulled.

“See I’ve been facing the racists from back when I were a kiddie. Born up in 93’. Living in Bradford City, they kicked me out of the school. Said they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p***, still sit in the classroom, chilling. I’m angry now that I’m older cause I see they treat us different. Got me thinking I’m the problem ‘cause they never dealt with these issues.” — See what I meant about no punches pulled. He said that! He said it like that too. There is so much in this verse that I relate to, it hits a little too deep. I grew up as a brown in predominantly white communities where the colour of my skin was the reason I was outcasted. We know when that’s happening, clear as day. The lyric “got me thinking that I’m the problem cause they never dealt with these issues” says it all. I have many racial traumas that I’m dealing with as an adult because the adults around me when I was a child didn’t deal with racism in the classroom. They do treat us different!

“20 years later, I’m still in the same boat. Tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for. Man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? // Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them. ‘Boy your skin is so light.’ Ok motherfucker, take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.” — Zayn talking his shit is my new favourite art form. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? Something that I will always be enraged by is that POC are expected to de-escalate situations of racism. We have to push our feelings down, as Zayn says in the verse, because the institution is against us. All of the institutions are against us. The fact that he takes it a step farther to say that his name makes him a target for racism, even though he is half-white just nails his point home. Also, can we please quit the whole ‘Zayn is white-passing’ bullshit. He alludes to it again later in the song (“asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define”). Its not a compliment to erase someone identity in favour of white-washing them.

“My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.” — Oh, the amount of times we have heard that age old (v. racist) saying ‘{celebrity of colour} is the new [insert white celebrity here]’ as if POC aren’t allowed to succeed in their own right. It is wild to me that Zayn has to deal with this given his level of success.

“Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening. I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine.” — There is a subtle nod to racism (and Islamaphobia) in this line, because of course the brown man is a threat, but I like the way Z turns it around. I also like the rhyme scheme.

“Raised on the benefit for whose benefit? They’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.” — Okay I might be reaching here, but this is just my interpretation. We all know the benefit system in the UK sucks. Being raised on benefit implies a lack of money growing up, but the benefits aren’t really all that beneficial to the families that rely upon them.

“Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause I hit the nerve.” — Well, okay then, just call me out. It’s fine. I seriously feel like he’s talking to me directly with this line. I imagine a lot of us do. Its one of those lyrics that are a bit too honest but that why we love them.

“Cathartic, I’m an artist. Trying to put my heart in” // “Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name.” — So do we have an alternate persona for Zayn now? Alright, I’m down. I think these two lines are tied together, because both are mentioned in the song title. (I think of the song as cathartic, by Yellow Metal, aka Zayn, or Yellow Metal as the name of the EP if this was officially released). The lyrics that accompany both title lyrics, along with the subject matter of the song as a whole, suggest that his heart is in standing up against injustices. I said it earlier, this is the most unvarnished version of Z that we have ever been exposed to. Almost like the complete picture to the puzzle pieces we’ve been putting together over the years.

“They’re tryna kill us with disease.” — Why did this line scream out ‘COVID-19 outbreaks in developing countries’ to me? Again, I might be reaching, but there is a disparity between how COVID is treated amongst minorities, along with many other diseases, and not to mention rich, primarily white countries hoarding vaccine supplies while places like India (and my beautiful Bangladesh and I’m sure Pakistan too) suffer needlessly.

“Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next. Just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around ’til I’m the best.” — I think this lyric shows off Zayn’s sentimental side more than it does his ambitious side, because we know he’s in this for the long haul. Others may doubt that but his fans never have. But hearing him talk openly about being a father on a song is something else. It’s like Khai added this whole other layer of meaning and purpose to his life and it’s beautiful to watch. I’ve been here since the X-Factor auditions guys!! It makes me so emotional to witness him like this.

“Aint many of me around, p***, I’m just different. Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil, fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto.” — God, we’ve been waiting for a fuck the label moment in this house, haven’t we? I won’t get into my theories on his label or his team, but none of us deny the fact that they should be doing more for him than they are. He has the potential to be the biggest thing with the right team and promo because he has a built-in fan base that would go the mile for him. Obviously, there’s also his aversion to promo to contend with and that’s his decision. Even without it, he could shatter every ceiling. Another thing I want to mention about this verse is the nod to the complete lack of South Asian representation in contemporary Western media.

“Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse.” — I’m just putting this in here because it made giggle. Also going to take this space to say how much I love his energy in this song. He knows he’s the shit, as he should!

“Can’t be louder … so free Gaza on my banner.” // “They’re hating on Palestine ways.” — I love that Zayn has always supported this movement, years ago, before being ‘woke’ was a thing. But now, he has a daughter that has Palestinian heritage and I’m sure that makes this hit that much deeper for him, personally. The apartheid in Palestine is heart-wrenching. It’s so strange to me to watch it happen, because I never thought I would witness something like this happening in 2021, yet here we are.

“Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing. We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route. Say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown. I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.” — This verse is straight up savage and I am living for it! I find it hilarious that he called Biden a snake. This verse addresses the truth about politics, that even electing a left-wing leader doesn’t fix the system.

“I’m Tony Stark, still embarking on a dream” // “Gone green like Bruce Banner” // “He taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten.” — And to tie it all off, I wanted to take a goofy moment to mention all the superhero lyrics Z added in this song, really showing his personality because I’m such a nerd when it comes to this stuff and it makes me wish that we were friends so I could annoy him to death about it.

[smilingperformer]

Discussing the good and bad of Pokémon Journeys: Part “Goh”

Oh boi... this part is gonna be a doozy. Because I have a lot to talk about Goh, or as I tend to call him, Gou.

TLDR; I like Gou as a character but I very, very much have issues with the way he's currently written in the show. And that frustrates me deeply as I'd love to feel more positively about him. More under the cut, with Journeys abverted as JN.

Where do I even begin... Maybe by how I first became a fan of Gou's character, by after some time started to go back to neutral ground.

Like, ever since the very first episode, we've got a very clear picture of what kind of character Gou is: a bookworm, loves Pokémon, loves to show his knowledge and isn't exactly good at making friends. His only friend before Satoshi (and before learning about Tokio/Horace's reasonings for not showing up to their meeting place) was Chloe/Koharu, and we still don't know how the two met. Thou my guess is that their childhood friendship bonded over their parents meeting during some job or by Koharu feeling the need to be Gou's friend. Who knows, it's something I want to learn about. But that's besides the point, cough.

But like, from the very first episode on, it became clear that this show wants to focus on Gou, and telling his journey on becoming a Pokémon Trainer who wants to catch all of the Pokémon in the World, in order to get closer to catching Mew, the mythical Pokémon who's said to contain DNA of all existing Pokémon. He had a very strong introduction arc, with showing his dynamic with Koharu, having him meet Satoshi on top of Lugia, first getting to know Satoshi (and Rockets) and then catching his first partner Pokémon in Hibunny. However, as time went on and episodes started piling up, I started feeling like something about him was... off.

I feel like the first time I had an issue with the writing involving him was in JN006, where he went on his first catching spree. Where he kept catching Pokémon with ease. Small struggle at the start when trying to work together his dynamic with Hibunny, but the rest of the ep felt way too easy. Then again, Gou IS flat out Pokémon GO promotion. No one can deny that. His purpose is to promote GO's capture mechanic. It is the most successful Pokémon Mobile game of all time.

Anyway, the easy captures piled up on and on til JN010 when he finally had to use dozens of pokeballs to catch one. single. Dewgong. I loved this so much. It made me feel more at ease with his goal mechanic and I felt like I'd be fine with him from there on out. And I was. Til I started having new issues with him. All thanks to Satoshi's new goal in PWC finally having been established.

As time went on, it became clearer and clearer, that Gou was more focused on when it came to his goal progression, development in character level, and in what kind of quality his episodes would be.

Everyone knows how much I love JN032. Everyone does. It's one of my absolute fav episodes in the series. However, it also kinda is what first prompted me starting my worry that hasn't gone away since then: That Gou feels more like the protagonist than Satoshi does in this series, and not really an equal dual protag he was advertised to be.

Before the pitchforks are getting aimed at me, hear me out. I know, that based on some statistics, the focus is equal, with sliiiightly more inclinded towards Gou. However, that's where the issue is: Gou has, so far for me, had way better focus and way better episodes in this series, than Satoshi has, while also getting progress on his goal on other character's focus episodes. When Satoshi's episodes have been about PWC and training his Pokémon, Gou's had the kind of episodes that are more character exploring, developing him, evolving him in some way. And it, frustrates me. Because despite my better judgement, it gives me this feeling that Gou is stealing Satoshi's thunder, even when some type of statistics would suggest otherwise. It gives me this feeling that Gou is here to write Satoshi out. I do not like that I feel this way, I don't know how to get rid of this feeling and I hate it here.

Again, I like Gou's character, he's sweet, well developed, and I do enjoy seeing him in his own episodes. But I have come to noticed, than whenever he gets goal progression in an episode that's supposed to focus on Koharu or Satoshi, I feel so.... angry? And I've never, ever felt like this while watching other characters progress. And I know it's irrational.

Like, his main partner's already fully evolved, his secondary partner Sobble is already evolving soon despite only having one focus episode for itself before it, and he's caught all three of the Galar starters now, with some of his other not-that-important Pokémon making appearances every now and then with possible evolution showcases. And it's all done so fast. Same issue was with Satoshi's poketeam evolving in fast arcs, but I forgot to mention about it? But then again, I am somewhat fine with it as I get the writing style is to focus on one 'mon and then move on to another. Which is not to my taste completely but I digress. ANYWAY, back to Gou.

After seeing discussions and joining in on some on tumblr and twitter and elsewhere, it does appear that Gou's development speed and progression speed is incredibly fast. Like, seriously fast. He's caught a lot of Pokémon by now, and the show's already shown about 50% percent of all existing Pokémon in a bit over a year. About 30% being caught by Gou. (Statistics borrowed from EntityMays' Living Dex trackers, links in posts will disrupt showing in tag search so, google EntityMays's Living Dex, and you'll find the statistics there).

This is also very apparent when you think about how fast Gou suddenly became a good battler, when at the beginning he sucked. A lot. I get Satoshi could be a great example on learning how to battle with good strategy in mind, but we barely saw Gou struggle. We Satoshi struggle in OS, so I would have prefered more struggling by Gou. His first battle against a legendary ended up in Zapdos almost getting caught and uuuuuggh, while it's a pretty good episode it really should have been at later point, same with Suicune episode. Thou with the latter I have WAY more issues than just the placement but, I'm not gonna rant about that today.

And what should I say about his dynamics with other characters... They're good, I am a huge fan of how the dynamic between Koharu and Gou works, as their childhood friend dynamic is shown so, so well, and you can just tell the two have mutual respect as Gou gives Koharu the space she needed when she wasn't into Pokémon for a while, and when she then became partners with Eevee, Gou was so so SO darn supportive just, AGH. Love how these two work.

And everyone knows I fell for Gou x Tokio dynamic straight away. Like they had a friendship built up right away when they first met as little kids and Tokio missing out on their promised meeting due to being sick and not having any means of contacting him yes still considered Gou his friend after these years when Gou considered him a traitor of trust and Gou then forgives him for it and just aaaaaahhh-. KRHM. Excuse me.

Then there's Gou and Satoshi's dynamic and I already said in my post about Satoshi how I feel intimidated by the fans of their shipping and how it makes me feel.... kinda sad about not being able to like their dynamic for what it is. I LOVE it a ton. I have said it a countless times, they're a broTP to me. They're dynamic was very enjoyable for me to watch, and even Gou was. But like, on TOP of these issues I mentioned before this part, I also have another issue with Gou: his fanbase, or the crazier part of it.

Often times I feel like I'm unable to enjoy Gou's character without being reminded of the fans who constantly think of him as shipping fuel, or think he's flawless and anyone disagreering is in some form a negative trait filled human being, etc etc etc. In a way, I feel like I'd enjoy Gou and his dynamic with Satoshi way, way more, if I had never learned about this side of the fandom. Let people like their dynamic the way they want. Be it romantic or platonic. Neither is wrong, but pushing one side to push their own headcanon to other people's head is just, bad act. Having this feeling in me has actually made me wonder, whether I would have liked other characters I am such a huge fan of, if I had been watching their shows during their airing times (for example Serena).

Now what would I have done differently with Gou? Firstly, slow the fuck down. I would have prefered to see Hibunny way more. I would have prefered to have one Galar Starter, namely Grookey, go to Satoshi, as it would help me feel less like Gou's stealing his thunder. I would have prefered if Gou and Satoshi's goals were established around same time. I would have very much liked it, if Gou wouldn't be catching Pokémon each episode.

Now what COULD help me like him better from what we have by now? Well. Slow it down. Have him interact with Koharu more. Give him a rival to further make him shine on his own instead of seemingly relying on Satoshi to shine through. Hell, maybe make Tokio his friendly rival. And on top of that, please let him not catch Pokémon almost every single episode. I'd love an episode where he captures some Pokémon that prefers to be free, and he then would let it go. I think that would make his character be good on his own, and make me feel better about him once again.

Cough. I think I've got my point clear. As said, I like Gou, but very much dislike the way he's written in such fast pacing and in a way that, despite statistics stating otherwise, making him feel like he's the sole protag and not sharing spotlight as dual protag. And I hope to god I can get rid of this feeling as the series goes on. Because right now, I don't have high hopes :(

If you've read this far, thank you for reading, and I am so, so sorry this became a long long rant about the issues I have with Gou, but I hope I managed to bring out what I like about him as well. Hopefully next time's gonna be a more positive post, as I'll try writing about my full on feelings about the handling of Koharu, or as dub audience knows her, Chloe.

Once again, thanks for reading, have a good evening or morning or whatever time it is by the time you've read this, and I hope you'll have a fantastic time ♥ And as a reminder, these are just my opinions, and if you disagree, you are totally valid.

Til next time! This was Smiling Performer aka Aleira, signing out!

[gingerequinoxe]

First time I ever really make a post about it, well first time I ever really make a post at all, but I don’t know where to talk about it I don’t even know how I can talk about it. So here is my rant lol idk if there are ppl out there who can relate to that. This might not be perfect I’m French and tired lol.

I used to live as a trans man for a year and a half, and a bit more than one year ago (summer 2020) I realized it didn’t feel right anymore and decided to retransition. I know identify and live as a butch lesbian, and I use he/him and she/her pronouns, I mean I don’t really care (there’s no neutral pronouns in my language so yeah there’s that).

At the time I met a girl who quickly became a crush, then since it didn’t work out we decided to stay friends. We were super closed and we talked a lot, she was there for me and I was always there for me too. We both were in a difficult part of our lives ; she was facing so much violence because of her transition, and I at the time felt so unlovable. We trauma bonded a lot, that I admit. Few months later, I felt her drifting away for our friendship. I don’t know what happened : maybe it was work, maybe it was the fact that I met someone who’s now my lover. But it’s like she didn’t give me the time of the day, she didn’t wanna hang out with me anymore or talk about things that were going on in her life. I felt more and more abandoned and started to panic, bombing her with my anxiety and my friendship via text messages. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I did my best at the time. Eventually we had a big fallout last July, and we took a two months break to think. We were supposed to have a coffee by the end of august to talk things.

That’s Hen started to act suuuuper weird. She was always posting super insulting things about butch lesbians on Twitter, especially on butches who were taking T or used to be taking T. She also was super critical of people who were dating people like me, she kept on making fun of Leslie Feinberg, pretending they were just « a man who thought they were a lesbian ». She also targeted my girlfriend, who is a femme lesbien, telling people she was a chaser and that she fetishized me.

We had few conversations about this and she told me she thought of me as just a straight trans man who didn’t wanna be perceived as such. She said I was just full of cissexism, and that I feared that I might loose my lover if I said I was a man. She made fun of me for that, saying I was a coward, that I was delusional. She even said that to me the night before my top surgery, telling me it was a proof I was just a man who didn’t want to leave lesbian spaces.

Problem is, I don’t pass as a man, I don’t wanna pass as a man, I don’t wanna be a man. I just hate my tits and got rid of them. I explained many times that i tried being a man, and it didn’t make me happy ; I’ve never been happier that this very moment where I’m a butch with no tits and a wonderful life to live. She kept on being super cynic and very dismissive of my feeling.

If I feel so down about this, it’s because I really trusted her and I don’t understand why things changed so fast. I loved her, I think I still do, and I don’t understand why she pretends like saying this to me is not that big of a deal - it’s just something we can « agree to disagree ». She is also someone I valued a lot, her perception of me was dear to my heart.

Now I don’t know what to thing ; I’m so sad and mad about what she said, but I also doubt my self. What if she’s right ? Could I be so clueless about it ? I’m afraid I’ve tricked my girlfriend into being with a man ; she’s a specialist on lesbian issues and publishes a lot about this. I don’t wanna hinder her success just because of the choices I’ve made. I’m so sure I am a lesbian, so happy to be butch, so proud to be part of that legacy. People, especially close friends like her, throwing this to me makes it so hard for me.

I’ve never been one to talk shit about the trans community after my retransition and I will always fight the TERF rhetoric that only harms us as a community. I still feel close to my trans brothers and sisters, but i just don’t feel like I’m a trans man. I’m a proud butch lesbian, and I love being a dyke.

I just needed a space to rant and to be sad, I guess. Thank you if you read this, and don’t hesitate to interact if you feel drawn to my experience. Much love and sympathy to everyone around me.

⚠️ Men (in this context, especially cis), TERFs, SWERFs, don’t interact !!!!!! ⛔️

[alexandrite-dragoness]

Small Rant Post / What I've Been Up To...

To who it may concern—

I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for enjoying my content as of lately :)

No this isn't a goodbye lol, far from it

But you see I've been in the slumps lately. I haven't been too motivated to do much progress, even I feel like my drawing have been slacking since the whole break up with my friend.

Losing ppl is hard, and I now understand that.

But sometimes I gotta let those know that, hey, it's not working out. I'm sorry. But to only have that person turn the other cheek like "I expected as much" really put a strain of emotion within me that I can't seem to get rid of for quite sometime now.

But all the same I was more than glad to say something. I was being tired of being treated like I'm not doing good enough for them, like whatever I do that pissed them off ruins the whole day for the both of us, and only for my small mistake to bite me in the ass two weeks later. And for them to have another friend to talk to like I was just replaced for them only hurts more.

But I digress— while I may had some moments where it feels like I don't matter to those anymore, I knew I gotta do my own thing. I got three ppl who talk to me in each social media– Twitter, here on Tumblr, and Amino. And they all have a similar aspect: They all talk about themselves and sometimes themselves only.

But I never got the guts to tell them to hear me out, or say to end things here because I don't want to ruin their happiness.

But therefore... It's time for me to be selfish.

Basically chances are I won't be talking to them anytime soon, but I do want to focus on my happiness for the time being. At least until I feel better about myself.

And one way to do that is focus on my story I've been brewing for quite sometime now. Or basically anything regarding the Strega works I've been doing. Tho it may only mostly be writing, but I have been so excited on starting writing out the chapters now while half of my time in general are my first job and my side home job. So if my ex friend continues working on their fanfic I've heard 100k+ words about before our separation, then I'll be working on mine and nothing else.

So I'm starting my Gekkoukan!Strega story, for realsies. Tho I'd hate to drag anyone else into my obsession, so I'd only post it out in here and on AO3 to give everyone the freedom to read it as they please. Probably means no beta read either, but I will try to have my story be in present tense as the flashbacks be past tense.

I've been having some eyes on my story idea as is, and that what keeps motivating me more and more and hope everyone will enjoy it as much as I will writing it out. The story will take some elements of Shadow Cry, so expect a new character in the fic (Izumi). This story will more or less be a rehash of the P3 plot, but I will be focusing on the differences in scenes as Strega would be part of the SEES group. It will have multiple chapters, each chapter being each month of the full moon operation along with some slice of life stuff on the side.

I'll try to keep everyone posted on how's it going, I should have another flackback scene here sooommeettimmmee this month? Maybe?

Again thanks to those to keep up with my ramblings, I appreciate all the Strega enthusiasts checking out my blog along with my art blog ♥️

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 35 S4: Raphael Joins the Pile of Dead Bodies

Ah 2020, thankfully we have one trashfire somewhat behind us, but I’m still avoiding social media for so many obvious reasons because of all the other trashfires that just never seem to stop burning, so lets talk about Yugioh with all of this newfound time.

Ah, card games. Card games that go on for 6-7 episodes. Lets see how they pad it out:

In a lot of ways, Roland really is just padding for the show, and that’s OK. He’s doing his best, by doing literally nothing but stand outside and check the time.

Inside the dusty soul chamber, Tristan has decided to do us the favor of recapping what happened last episode, which included the return of our four dead friends, so that they could die...again.

Seto’s reaction to seeing these dead people suddenly alive again was very “guys...I went nuts like years ago, I’m just going with it at this point.” and he’s still 100% positive that this is all a hologram and that no one will ever die.

Whatever it takes for Seto to get out of bed in the morning, I guess.

(read more under the cut)

One of the big mechanics the game is that you need to stay level headed, or the Orichalcos just kind of slurps you up. This explains a little why Dartz is so freakin chill basically all of the time, just the Bob Ross of evil over there. It also is sort of funny because Pharaoh and Seto are the least chill people to have ever lived so he’s just kind of waiting it out to see whom between Seto and Kaiba gets the most angry first and completely botches it.

Yugi has to do literally nothing and for the first time in his life this is the right choice.

I’m so glad he gets to use his big brain move of “If I don’t play, no one dies!” from S1. Glad it came back to serve him for once instead of just make everyone else really annoyed.

Yugi just...not moving means it’s now Seto’s turn to put down some cards, and he kinda looks over at Pegasus and goes...well you know what’s gonna happen next.

I have no idea why he didn’t attack Pegasus. Like this episode is kind of weird because we got these flashbacks of Pegasus being like “you’re my only hope, Yugi!” and it’s like wtf, Pegasus trapped you on a murder island and tried to kill you multiple times. He abducted Mokuba and turned both the Kaiba brothers into cards.

yo did Seto and Pegasus get back together in between seasons or something? Was there a whole character development where these two have fun brunches in San Fransisco now? Because I would watch that anime. I would watch the anime where Seto and Pegasus are co-hosting Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, and just destroying every unsuspecting local restaurant they brunch in.

But are we just assuming that the eyeball did all that evil stuff from S1 and that otherwise Pegasus is a good person? Because like...he was a mess before he got possessed. He’s kind of a Yugi, he’s kind of a Bakura, he’s kind of a Marik...in that there’s a mess in that bean, and getting possesed just only amplified what was already there.

So, with his smug as hell grin, Seto surprises Dartz by only barely getting affected by this inescapable moral dilemma and Seto just very quickly deciding to do a murder. And then we get a little blimp throwback to S2 (S3? I don’t even remember at this point, since we’ve been stuck in S4 for an entire year. Thanks 2020.)

If blocking the shot when Marik did it in S3 or S2 or whenever that was, didn’t get Mai to like Joey, then it shouldn’t work if you do it a second time.

But hey, I guess it’s better than letting her perma-die. Although this show desperately needs to figure out how to use Mai if they’re gonna keep her around, youknow?

Like all ships are fine and valid here, ship whatever you want to your hearts content: I don’t ship at all, as you know, but I hope one day they give Mai a personality that is consistently likeable. I do want to like her because she’s like...good at what she does when she plays cards and can be that can be a fun “hey I’m a girl but I’m not a freakin ‘gamer girl’ you male chauvinist assholes” type of character. But, the show just...the show doesn’t know what they want outside of a little romantic tension that they legally can’t follow through because of a 5-6 year age gap with a teenager.

This show actively tries to destroy this ship, and then turns around and is like “oh shoot this ship is all we have.” This show tries to lift up Mai as a feminist icon one season, and then tears her down for being “too” feminist the next season when she decides to--youknow--kill Joey Wheeler because he made her feel weak or something when he saved her life. 

Like the show does a lot to explore weakness and strength, and how what we see as weakness is actually strength, and how what we tend to attribute as strengths is actually weakness, and how our modern career/school/success expectations set us up for failure, but I think they explored that way better with Seto than they ever did with Mai.

Could’ve been cool Mai, you could’ve been cool.

Anyhoo, that was my spicy commentary on a 10+ year old anime, good to get it off my chest.

Seto and Yami have the typical problem they have whenever they play cards together, where one goes completely rogue. Except this time, the one going rogue isn’t Seto, it’s Yami. He’s just like...I’ll make life for Seto very difficult and I will lose this game and I don’t even mind because I’m already dead, deal with it.

So honestly this is an episode where it’s just Seto demanding we kill a bastard, and Yami being like “but not THAT bastard” and Seto just shrugging and saying “I have to kill A bastard, Yugi! Just CHOOSE one!”

That actual line in the show (I forget what it was exactly) does infer that Seto thinks Joey holds him back, and that implication speaks miles about Seto’s insecurities.

HOW THOUGH..........what are you jealous of, Seto?

You’re better at cards than he is, he’s never beat you at anything. It’s not about who’s best friends with Yugi because...Yugi’s possessed so Yami is always going to take first place...

......so what could it possibly BE?

Seto doesn’t attend school anymore, is it about that? Is it because Joey is likeable? Is it because Joey pretends he has a much older girlfriend? I mean hypothetically, Blue Eyes White Dragon is WAY older than Mai so...that can’t be it.

.....what IS it???

Does the “friendship” he have with Joey make Seto too soft? Is that what’s holding him back? Because Seto doesn’t actually think he’s friends with these people and says that Yugi and co are “Mokuba’s friends” so like....

.....what are you talking about, Seto???

Is it because you’re addicted to cards again? Because that’s...sort of Joey’s fault because he was the one who told you he needed a ride to Jacksonville, and then let slip that the “King of Games” title was up for grabs, is that it?

Are you just tired of Joey asking you for a ride?

Not like it matters, because Joey survives, and Seto gets to feel like a complete asshole about it.

As Raphael (who is this purple blur here) motorcycles into the dome of souls, Rolands last words were

“You can’t go in there!”

which was the weirdest thing to say to a guy you just saw fall down a 50 story building a few hours ago. Raphael not being dead should be the thing Roland fixates on, but instead he’s seen so many people die and come back to life, that he’s only concerned that Raphael will get in trouble for trespassing.

Again, Roland is the only Kaiba that hasn’t died yet, and it’s because he’s the only Kaiba that hasn’t broken the law.

Dude. What if the reason Roland is standing outside is because he’s been politely looking for the doorbell to be let in?

...the players asking for death...like clockwork...and me asking for the end of this freakin game...we played...1 turn this episode...

This episode was 1 turn!

And you may ask...well what else could possibly happen to stretch this out and well...

Raphael dives in on a motorcycle to save the day. Which is an aesthetic, by the way, this huge man covered in like a dozen belts, doing a wheelie jump into a chasm of 1 million souls. that’s an aesthetic.

So he shows up, gets off his bike and I was like “Oh good, someone to maybe save Yugi saving Joey saving Mai?” And instead, I was...not given that.

Mostly Raphael is here because he ALSO wants to kill Dartz, and is like “can I join? I know you’ve only played like 1 round, just deal me a new hand, it’ll be fine.” and it’s like...we already played the Orichalcos Raphael, this is not a game of Uno, you cannot just jump in.

Dartz is sort of obsessed with how everyone around him has potential for evil except for him, the chillest human to ever be born, and I gotta say...when he’s in this room...Dartz has a point.

+++++++++++++RANT ABOUT BEING PERFECT FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++++++++++++

It is sort of nice to have the concept of an older generation (in this case 10,000 years older) fighting with a younger generation. To have the older, more typically wiser generation say “Listen, I kinda screwed the planet and the war economy and the prison system...and I’m gonna keep doing that...and you can’t stop me because you’re a bunch of hypocritical dumbasses.” and then the younger generation say. “We don’t care if we’re a mess, dude. We aren’t the problem here.”

I may be putting some recent topical STUFF into this mold here, but it is a nice little analogy that they made even someone who is such a human disaster as Yami and Seto “morally good” enough to fight Dartz. You don’t have to be a perfect Harvard Grad to fight the system, you don’t have to be an entirely problematic-free savior, you can be even as problematic as Seto Kaiba--just get rid of the dumb assholes trying to destroy the world. That’s all.

Like this concept is strangely prescient because in 2020 we’re in a weird time period where if you aren’t perfect, you’re not allowed to have opinions. You’re not allowed to make content. You’re not allowed to make change. This is mostly an online problem in places like twitter, but it’s a real problem--because in the end what you’re left with is no one that wants to step up to the plate because they know that they, too, are flawed.

And like not even just as a political thing, even as a creator, as an artist, I see this problem more and more with kids. Kids who are like “I am afraid to draw because what if I do it wrong and I get dragged on twitter years later?” or “I want to make a story, but I’m afraid to get cancelled because my fantasy story has problematic stuff in it? Am a bad person for wanting to write it?” And it’s like...what are we doing to young creators right now? Did we all fail humanities? How have we failed art and literature SO badly that we’ve come to this point that people are too afraid to even learn how to do it right?

Anyway that was a tangent, but like...you see the similarities, right? That if you really were as perfect as Dartz either politically or creatively, you’d be a freakin monster and would probably just tear down everyone else around you on twitter rather than lift other people up. It’s a stretch but eh, it’s been a while since I went on a good Yugioh tangent and like

---it’s not like I can say this on twitter---

+++++++++++++++END OF THAT RANT+++++++++++++++++++

So it’s at this point that Dartz turns to Raphael is like “I mean...we weren’t really doing anything else, and Yugi and Yami are playing so slowly...I guess I have time to bust your nuts” and decides to bust his nuts.

Oh hey, I was right.

And yeah, that’s still effed up. Dartz killed his Raphael’s family, left him on an island, and then adopted him later after forcing him to dig up their graves. Like...Raphael, that’s effed up.

He also did the same thing to everyone else (and for Valon he just kinda glazed over that really fast because we had to edit his backstory out of the English version)

PS at this part Mokuba started sweating bullets and Tea leaned over and was like “Is this true, Mokuba?”

And Mokuba was like “...yes.”

Because, I don’t think Mokuba can keep any secret from Tea. Like for reals, Tea may be the most dangerous thing to all of KaibaCorp if she wasn’t so distracted by Yami’s endless string of problems. Mokuba is constantly telling them all of Seto’s deepest darkest secrets and there is like nothing Seto can do about it.

The animation of Gozaburo turning into a beautiful Dartz was just a simple fade to white, but man--imagine if they had dome some crazy effed up animation where Gozaburo just whips back his head and he has ass length blue hair and long, luscious lashes?

Imagine.

Anyway, this was enough for Raphael, who was already our most gullible and unstable person on this show, to just flip that switch and go lime green like all those other minibosses before him.

Really glad we built up Raphael for him to just die at the door hahaha.

That was so freakin random.

OK then. Thanks for nothing, Raphael.

I guess we go to the next episode to see if we finally play another turn? We can hope for good things. But if we don’t play a full turn I will NOT be surprised.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[lady-of-disdain]

If you're so bothered by a cartoon ship (which... no words) still don't understand why you take it out on shippers, not like you could do much about the studio anyway, they don't care, as they should, but then being on our ass is entirely pointless... maybe that's the problem at the same time, maybe to some extent you do realise no one cares so you've decided persecuting a bunch of fan creators and consumers would be the next best thing. That said I feel it's imperative to point out, we're not Sunrise, we're not the ones with the power to shape this story, so you bullying us is frankly just devoid of any meaning other than raw intent for violence. At the very least admit that and drop the pretences, it's the only thing you've done after all, one would have to be blind not to see it.

If you're afraid a puny ship might be canon, and whatever you've twisted it to mean for you, take it up with the studio, alternatively with god since you're so into fictive characters over real life. Come to think of it didn't you guys have a friend that has a friend working at the studio? How come you're still so insecure? Why don't you tell the friend of the friend to influence the plot? Why hasn't this friend of a friend provided any other inside scoops to make themselves credible? Questions, questions.

Either way, hurting shippers will achieve nothing, we were gonna ship no matter the canon status of the ship, and I pity you people who think that shipping something has to be done because you want something canon, as opposed to just... for fun... but maybe that comes naturally with being pathetic, anyway, the possibility of it becoming canon now has nothing to do with us. Even less so as Westerners, if audience even has any sort of influence in all this, it would be the Japanese one way before it would be any Western one. Appreciate you giving us so much importance, but we don't need it, and we're just not really as important as you attribute, we'd just love it if you stopped hurting people over cartoons. You made something gruesome out of a fairy tale, that's on you, that's your problem, and we'd all be better off if you found a way to deal with that didn't rely on abusing others.

Honey, are you lost? I think there was maybe a different blog this rant was supposed to be sent to but I got it by mistake. Because I have no worldly idea what you are talking about in about half of this ask.

The first thing that confuses me: that I’m apparently “taking it out on shippers”, “ persecuting”, and “bullying” them? Please show me your receipts. I’ve literally never directly initiated contact with a sessrin blog. Hell, the one time I considered answering a post made by a pro blog, it was going to be in direct response to a question they posed in the anti tag, directed towards antis, and it turns out I couldn’t even answer the post because the user had most of the anti community blocked. (Silly, I know, but this is what we’ve been dealing with so what can I say.) Any time I want to respond to a sessrin argument that wasn’t directed to me anyways, I would usually screenshot it and blackout the names.

I can count on one hand the times I’ve even posted in the same thread as pro sessrin blogs, and in those cases, I either A) didn’t directly call out the other blog/blogs that were posting in the same thread as me, or @ them, or B) was only even interacting in said post because pro shippers were piling on and harassing people in the thread, and I was simply pointing out that there were shippers in said thread acting fools. The only time I ever even pointed out a particular blog I did it via screenshot and did it to keep a record of a blog that was admitting to flagging our posts as spam. 

If you would like to see proof of my interactions, all you have to do is check the #receipts tags on my blog, you’ll find all of my interactions conveniently tagged. (Oh and don’t worry, I’ll get back to that receipts tag shorty.)

The second thing you said that confuses me, that I have a “friend that has a friend working at the studio”? What (and I can’t stress this enough) the FUCK, are you talking about? 

I.....have never made this claim? Where have I ever said this, where have I ever reblogged this? I’ve never even read this? I need some clarification here, because either you are from an alternate timeline where I’m living a much cooler life, or like I said, you have the wrong blog.

~

Anyways, regardless of the fact that I’m pretty sure you sent this to the wrong person, I guess I can render a response to the base question you seem to be asking here: Why argue with shippers?

Really, at the end of the day, I’m not arguing with your average shipper. Hell, there are a few blogs I even follow and interact with that have said they like sessrin content, but they understand this is not an appropriate thing for a kid's show. And I can respect that because I’ve been in the problematic ship boat in other fandoms. (Here’s a hint, in one of the fandoms that I followed content for a problematic ship in, a content creator was given cookies with sewing needles baked into them, yikes right?!)

The main message of mine and many other blogs I follow is that this ship isn’t appropriate for children’s media, and what happens is a lot of salty people come out of the woodwork who feel the need to argue and say there is nothing wrong with it, which causes us to have to list the reasons why there is indeed something wrong with it (thus why it shouldn't be in said children’s media), then what happens is people like you come at us and act like all we’ve been doing is bullying shippers, and “why don’t you just let us ship in peace!?!?!?!!!??”

In fact, I shouldn’t even be surprised that I got this ask eventually, because as I’ve pointed out in the past, the shipper argument seems to be a cyclical one.

A blogger will make a statement something along the lines that they really don’t care if people ship sessrin, but the shippers really shouldn’t be making a lot of noise to the studio that they want to see this ship in the show because kids watch it, and it’s not a great message to send to kids.

A shipper will then message the blog (usually anonymously if possible) something along the lines of you’re wrong about the ship sending a bad message to kids because of xyz, or it’s a totally normal and healthy relationship, and you’re wrong, or Yashahime isn’t for kids, etc.

The Blogger will then respond with actual evidence, a well-worded response, or even just fucking common sense (like come on, some of the mental gymnastics I’ve seen people employ to try to validate this fucking ship to us is hilarious).

The blogger will then get another message something along the lines of  “why don’t you just let us ship in peace!?!?!?!!!??”

The blogger responds with JESUS CHRIST I SAID FROM THE VERY START THAT I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SHIP I JUST DON’T WANT TO SEE IT IN A GODDAMN KIDS CARTOON”

At which point the whole process is rinsed and repeated. Congratulations you’ve just witnessed a new grey hair grow out of my fucking scalp.

However, there is a new facet to this shit gem that I’ve noticed during this whole annoying cycle, and that is the fact that a lot of pro shippers are making claims that they are being harassed by anti blogs, but I’m not seeing a lot of proof of this. And make no mistake, if I see an established anti blog being terrible, or making a false claim, I have no problem calling them out, or correcting false information. Please, feel free to screenshot proof and post it in the anti tag, and see how many other blogs won't put up with this either.

And to be clear, I don’t really count anonymous asks as harassment, because people can be sending that shit to themselves. Just like I don’t mind asks I get like this one because I naively respond to them in the hopes that maybe someone will actually understand what the argument has been about this whole time. And if I didn’t like it, turning off anon magically gets rid of it, so *shrug*.

No, I’m talking about actual, out in the open harassment, or shitty behavior. 

Like oh say, Patreon art being reposted in a discord server, then when a good samaritan reports the art theft they are harassed by their fellow discord members. 

Or maybe the ongoing flagging and harassment campaigns that are going on over almost all online social media platforms. 

Or how about the time some people tried to start a Twitter smear campaign against a voice actor who has some opinions about their ship they don’t like.

Yeah, remember how I said I’ve got a receipts tag. I see ya’ll.

[msublake]

HELLO EVERYONE !  ♥ i’m faye ( she/her ) and this is my little fireball blake jung. it feels like i have been waiting forever to join ( literally have been wanting to since the first week mokseong opened ), so i am super excited to finally be able to bring her here! she’s a  💦 suseong  💦 sophomore majoring in pre law and minoring in creative writing. known for her short-fuse cute face, she’s honestly just trying to live her best life at mokseong. sadly, i have been slacking and failed to get her full profile up by her acceptance. however, i do have her STUDENT PROFILE up that has a a little bit of information! i do plan on finishing up her main profile soon and getting some open plots up, but in the meantime you can take a peak under the read more to learn more about miss blake and contact me for plotting either here, on twitter (foxglves), discord (𝙁𝘼𝙔𝙀.#7009)

/ * BACKSTORY * \

tw: mentions of adoption, divorce, self-loathing, bullying.

CLICK HERE FOR A MORE DEEP DIVE INTO HER PAST !

okay so i’m going to try and keep this short. story starts in COUPEVILLE, WASHINGTON where her father, ERIC JUNG, is born and raised. he’s an outcast cause he’s a lil quirky but he befriends another little boy who is also socially excluded. turns out this little boy is a wizard yayyyyy and this absolutely fascinating to her father. basically this is what starts his obsession with magic.

fast forwards a few years and he marries a nice lady named MICHELLE. she’s a lot more quiet and reserved than he is, but they think they’re the perfect pair. she’s a mortician and he’s a writer for the newspaper, but also runs a blog where he rants and raves about magic. a mortician and the local weirdo who is obsessed with magic? needless to say, they quickly became notorious in their town.

after years of being unable to conceive, the couple adopt a baby girl who they name JUNG BARAM, but she just goes by BLAKE. as their only child, she is the apple of their eye. they think she is so smart, so sweet, so special, and come to find out they’re not exactly wrong. 

she’s SIX when she presents magical abilities. she gets inspired by the fairy godmother from cinderella and suddenly all her clothes start flying around her room as she sings   bibbidi bobbidi boo! 

her mother is shook but her father is like  👀👀👀👀

now that they know she’s a wizard, her father is so obsessed with her. like to an unhealthy level. she’s not allowed to play with other children without supervision, can’t go out anywhere with her dad without him trying to get her to do something crazy. blake is now the topic of his blog continuously, which earns her teasing from her classmates. 

now she hates the magic that once made her feel special because she’s getting bullied for it and her dad is an obsessed weirdo. her parents also divorce when she’s EIGHT YEARS OLD because her mother can’t handle the person her father has become. 

her mother easily wins custody of blake and the two move to SEATTLE to start over. while her mother did want a life free of bullying and judgmental eyes, she also brought them to seattle in hopes of finding someone who could understand blake. her mother didn’t exactly hate her daughter, she still loved her, but she feared what she could not control. 

the search brought them to @msuastrid​ ‘s family where blake would grow to love and appreciate herself a bit more. while her faith hadn’t been completely restored, the family taught her to value her magic and this was a huge inspiration to her. 

enrolls in ILVERMORNY when it’s about that time and she thrives there. she loved exploring her capabilities and found her inspiration to be a wizarding lawyer here ( idk maybe saw some important lawyer woman and she got Inspired ).

most of her adult personality developed there

now comes her entrance to MOKSEONG in 2019. chose the school to get away and hopefully start a successful life. she wants to find a sense of belonging here and just basically live her best life tbh

/ * EXTRAS & PLOT IDEAS MAYBE? * \

personality wise she is firecracker. definitely a bit quirky like her father and has loads of energy. even when she’s angry she’s smiling!! which is admittedly a bit scary

on the top of anger, blake here has quite the temper. while she’s overall easy to get along with, she’s easy to anger although she quickly gets over it. this paired with impatience is never good. 

very kind, would give you the shirt off her back.

LOATHES bullying of any kind. if she catches you just teasing your friend out of love, be careful she may cause a scene if she even thinks there’s any malice.

acts like she’s so confident in her abilities and every aspect of her life, but in reality she has a lot of self-loathing. fears failure so much she studies her ass off and sacrifices a lot of sleep. but this in turn actually makes her pretty smart so 🤘🤘🤘

( she may do your homework if you ask and compensate kindly wink wink )

also doesn’t talk about her parents really. she’s lowkey still embarrassed of her dad so if you ever catch wind of that situation, do not bring it up.

party animal then, party animal now

will try anything once HONESTLY

very chaotic. she exhausts me

fellow ilvermorny alumns???? lets goooooo

was a more popular girl, either by association with @msuastrid​ or just her personality tbh she was a pretty girl with a wild streak and attracted all sorts of people. very much a social butterfly. 

on the topic of ilvermorny, she was kind of notorious for having bad taste in men/women. so hey you got a muse that could be labeled as a shitty ex??? let’s fucking go. she probably wasn’t the best partner either tbh

longs for a sense of belonging so she has a bunchhhhh of acquaintances. really wants close friends she could call her family ya know?

also she’s a waitress at borealis bar so gimme regulars and irritating drunks/flirts!! or the sad ones she can comfort

SPECIFIC WANTED CONNECTION: when she entered mokseong, she wanted to start over and get rid of any reputations she had at ilvermorny. butttt she kind of messed that up when she dated a specific someone her freshman year (2019) and it didn’t end well ( per usual ). so gimme a “shitty” ex from last year please!!! can be further discussed

after that breakup, she decided to focus on her studies bc f that

also has a good social media presence,,, i’ll be working on her accounts later

maybe some cousin plots???? people from her hometown??? old bullies??? 

a freshman she’s taken under her wing because “i’ve always wanted a younger sibling!!”

also “our cats have great chemistry, they’re married now”

okay that’s enough

i love you all  🥺

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

As Long as I’m Here, As Long as You Love Me

Pairing: Chris Evans x Black!Plus-size!OC

Summary: Chris is ready to take their relationship to the next level. Tatiana has her reservations.

Warning(s): Umm, discussions on racism and fatphobia. Slight angst, but a happy fluffy ending.

Word count: 1,454

Author’s Note: I wrote this like last year. Finally decided to post it. Writers and their insecurities right? No? Just me? Fair. I got struck by the thought about how a regular Black fat girl with a 9 to 5 might approach being in a relationship with a megastar. I hope y’all enjoy it :)

Tatiana was beyond relieved that her work day was finally over. The restaurant she managed was busier than normal. Damn playoff games kept the place packed, but she was so happy she wasn’t the closer that night. She was able to leave at a respectable 10pm which was good because Chris had sent her a cryptic message in the middle of her shift. He was finally back from finishing a press tour and she was happy they would be getting some one on one time after weeks apart.

“Have some exciting news. Can’t wait for you to get home. Love you baby girl.”

Tati didn’t really have a clue what the exciting news was. If she had to guess, she’d think he booked a vacation for them. He always talked about how he just wanted to take her away with him to see the world. She kind of hoped he didn’t though because while she loved his surprises, she needed to be able to give her job enough notice.

When she made it to her home, she saw his car parked in the driveway. They didn’t technically live together, but she gave him a key to her home once they got serious. He was always so busy with movie shoots, promotional shoots, and press tours that she wanted him to be able to come and go as needed. Her life as Assistant General Manager kept her working 10 hour days, so sometimes they didn’t see each other. It was hard work dating a celebrity, but Christopher Robert Evans was absolutely worth it.

Dodger’s paws were heard moving across the hardwood floors as she opened the front door. She was greeted by his adorable face as he licked at her and tried jumping on her.

“Oh that’s a good boy. You missed me? I missed you! You’re the goodest boy there ever was.” She told him in a baby voice while petting him and bending down to hug his warm furry body. 

After playing with Dodger for a minute, he scurried off and she took that as a sign to find her man. She didn’t have to look far because the glow from the living room television drew her into the room. A peak over the large couch showed Chris laying horizontally, head resting on the arm as his chest moved with the shallow breaths he took while he slept.

Tati would never get over how beautiful of a man he was. She couldn’t help staring at him for a bit as she walked around the couch. His “smedium” shirt as she liked to call it, had lifted up slightly so his v-line and abs were showing. She set her purse on the little coffee table in front and gingerly sat on the space left on the couch. 

“Baaaabbyyyyy, I’m hoooommeee.” She quietly sang, her fingers dancing over his exposed skin and under his shirt as she felt on his chest. “Wake up handsome.” She dug her fingers into his side to tickle him and he sat up out of his sleep.

“What the hell?” He blinked several times as the sleepy haze dissolved and a bright smile appeared on his face when he realized she was there. “Welcome home baby.” He leaned closer to greet her with a kiss.

“Mmm. Do I get to know the exciting news now or do I have to wait?” She asked, desperate to know what the secret was.

He chuckled, placing one of his legs on the floor and pulling her between his legs. “You truly have zero patience. You don’t want to get settled in first? Eat dinner? Have a drink?” He nibbled on her neck, teasing her. “Welcome home sex?”

Her neck fell to the side on instinct, before she collected herself and playfully mushed his head away from her. “Nuh uh. You aint about to distract me. We will get to all of that after. Tell me your secret, Evans.”

The smile on his face was infectious. “I was asked to present at the Golden Globes and I think it’s the perfect place to make our relationship public.”

The silence between them following his statement spoke volumes about her discomfort regarding his request. They had been dating for almost a year away from the public eye. He was a private guy and she had no interest in becoming paparazzi fodder for what she believed would just be a quick hook up with a hot actor. She never thought she’d actually be in a relationship with him. He was just supposed to be a fun anecdote she told her disbelieving grandchildren in the future about the one time grandma had sex with a famous Hollywood star. 

“I have my stylist on stand by for whichever designer has the dress you love most. Your hair, makeup...everything will be taken care of babe.” He added, trying to sweeten the pot.

“Chris…” She began, biting her lip as she stopped to get her thoughts together. His hand reached out and grasped hers, his thumb rubbing soothing circles onto her palm.

“Talk to me. I love you. I’m not saying I’m going to be posting you on Twitter every day because I’ve always been private about my personal life, but I want you to attend red carpets and other events with me. I want to introduce you to others as my woman out in public. I’m ready. Are you really not?” Chris asked, his eyes imploring her for an honest answer. Of course she had to go and fall in love with a man that could see through your very soul with one look.

“I love you too. I want to do all those things with you. I just want you to understand what that would mean for us. You’re active enough on Twitter to understand how wild social media can be these days. I’ll never get rid of it because it can be a source of such joy and humor. I’ve built myself a great social media community. Those acrylic nail memes starring you and then the rest of your Avengers co-stars? A highlight. I remember when they took off.” A smile formed on her lips as she thought on the trending topic. She still has some of those memes saved on her phone. 

“But people can also be horrible, disgusting and downright vile when they can hide behind a computer screen. I’m a non famous, fat, Black woman dating one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors. For many people, you are the superior Chris of all Hollywood Chrises. By going public, I am opening myself up to a world of abuse just because I ‘dared’ date their white male hero.”

“I don’t give a fuck about what they think.” He interjected, ready to go on a rant but she cut him off.

“I know you don’t. I know. If I had any doubt, we wouldn’t be here right now. And I’m not letting some racist assholes keep me from living my life how I want. What I am saying to you is that there will be bad days. I will let the comments get to me. The comments will even get to you sometimes. I’ve been a fangirl. Not the nasty ones, but I’ve seen how they operate. Eventually it will die down some, but it won’t ever completely go away. This new and fresh information is going to have the fans and even the press going wild. It’s because I know how much you respect your privacy that I just want you to be sure.”

He cupped her face in both his hands and looked her in the eyes. All he could think about was how much he loved her, how much he wanted to take care of her for the rest of their lives. But he knew he had to go one step at a time with her or she’d bolt. He loved her so much that he could be patient with her. 

“It may get rough, but I’m prepared to go through it all for you and with you. We can map out a whole plan if it will make you feel more assured. I’m in this for the long haul. You’re everything to me.” He leaned in to press his lips against hers, his thumbs rubbing her cheeks as he held her face. He kissed her with a softness that was full of tenderness and love. It may have been one of the most sensual kisses she ever experienced. She felt all the love he had for her and she hoped he could feel how much she loved him in return.

She knew as long as they had each other, they would be okay.

[hypocrisyofandrewdobson]

Alright, here we go again....

So I’m going to make this it’s own separate post since Dobson has made this its own thing, buut in case anyone’s interested, here’s where Dobson claims he doesn’t send death threats even though he has, and here’s where you can see him celebrating someone getting cancer even though he claims he’d “never wish it on his worst enemy(at the time also shitting on someone who died of cancer that day.

So let’s get started.

First things first: the reason Dobson can’t reblog it is because he blocked @crimson-ace and because Dobson doesn’t want said callout to be seen by his “Look at how progressive I am for hating Reylo!” comic. Dobson is the OP of the post, he could easily respond on said post if he wanted to.

Secondly, Dobson makes the excuse that because the President, Rush Limbaugh, and Republicans in general “deserve to die”, that means it’s completely okay for him to wish death on them multiple times(to the point that it got him permanently banned from Twitter) and mock someone for getting a terminal illness. I personally could care less if you love, hate, or are indifferent to the President, Limbaugh, GOP, ect, but you can’t get on your moral high horse and say sending death threats and harassing people is wrong, but then turn around and go “it’s okay when I do it!” when it’s someone you don’t like. Not only is it hypocritical as hell. It’s a really shitty thing to do in general.

Thirdly, Dobson likes to claim that because Trump is “literally trying to kill me and my friends”, it’s okay for him to send death threats. While I’ve already covered the death threats bit, Dobson’s idea of Trump trying to kill him is the President getting rid of Obamacare. That’s literally all it it. Dobson claims that if Obamacare is gone, he couldn’t afford his PTSD and depression medication and will die because of it. Now I’ll take this moment to not only point out that not only are Dobson’s claims of having PTSD and the like very suspect, he is literally mooching off his very rich parents, not having a job and living with them despite being 38 years old.

And yes, if you are angry or upset at the the President or the government, it is completely fine to be upset or send an angry response. What ISN’T okay is screaming and ranting for their death or celebrating someone getting cancer just for being Republican.

Unfortunately, we aren’t quite done, because someone sent an Ask to Dobson in support of him sending death threats, and Dobson took the opportunity to make himself a victim again while also lying about this blog.

Nobody expects you to be 100% pure, Dobson. That’s stupid. You are a hypocrite because you don’t actually believe half the stuff you say, you just say it to appear morally superior or play the victim or villainize the person who disagrees with you.

And as I’ve pointed out multiple times, this is not a hate blog. I’ve actually defended you multiple times when misinformation about you is being spread, mainly because you do enough shitty things on your own without people needing to make things up about you.

I do like how his example of me pointing out his hypocrisy is “liking/not liking a movie” when the whole point of that recent post was showing how you’ll shill for Disney as much as possible unless it’ll make you seem morally superior to throw them under the bus. It’s also rather convenient that you don’t mention incidents like calling a teenage trans girl a Nazi for disagreeing with you, belittling a teenage lesbian for being creeped out by your KorraSami obsession, trying to villify someone the day they died from cancer because you felt like you deserved the attention and pity more, telling a victim of female bullying that it’s his fault for being male, having a clear lesbian fetish and pretending that you’re just a supporter of LGBT, pretending to be a teenage lesbian so you could draw porn of women being inflated and popped, refusing to take any form of criticism whatsoever but going out of your way to insult and belittle people for not doing something the way you think is best, claiming that anyone who disliked The Last Jedi only did so because they’re racist, sexist, and a Nazi...hell, I have an entire post linking to all these examples and more.

And you’re right, it’s not hypocrisy to change your mind or want to change. The problem is that you are still doing these things and not changing. You are still sending death threats and claiming one thing when just days ago you claimed the opposite. You’re not trying to change or get better, in fact you’re actively getting worse. You still only care about the L in LGBT, you just make up excuses and attack the person who points it out. You claim to speak up for women, yet the second a women disagrees with you or calls you out, you venomously belittle and insult them for daring to question you.

And this has all happened in the last month alone.

I don’t call out when you claim to like a movie and then months later hate it. I call you out when you want to villify and condemn anyone who not liking a movie, calling them evil Nazis, but the second the sequel has a character kiss another character you hate(because in your mind they’re a stand-in for the alt-right) you throw a fit and talk about how “heteronormative couples are bad” and “I don’t understand straight couples”, or hate on men and claim “men are the cause of everything wrong in the world”, or call for the extermination of all white people...when you yourself are a straight white man.

So yes, I’m going to call you out when you’re being a shitty person and a hypocrite, because you are continuing to do so and not at all trying to change for the better, instead just constantly making yourself out to be an innocent victim.

Actually take some personal responsibility in your life, fucking hell.

[reddie-fangirl24]

Richie, The Patient Chapter 3

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“Richie? Hey, Richie? Wake up.”

Opening his eyes after once again dreaming about horrific events that happened on stage, Richie felt like he was on another planet. He couldn’t open his eyes, let alone see straight. Somebody was talking to him, but his cranium was in so much pain that Richie had no clue what the words meant. His stomach felt worse. It felt like a volcano would erupt.

Feeling himself being lifted to his feet, Richie’s legs wouldn’t cooperate, nearly toppling over to the ground. At least he was able to walk, but he had no energy. He pressed a hand to his churning stomach.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to take the limo?” That was Steve’s voice. He sounded close.

“How could you not call me? Next time you’d better contact me if something like this ever happens again!” Richie felt so confused, doing his best to keep up. Whoever it was sounded beyond angry.

Hardly aware of what was going on, Richie struggled to get inside of a car. He was barely able to keep his head up as he sat on the seat. Turning up his nose, a foul smell lingered in this car making him gag. 

Somebody pushed his head down into their lap. Fingers brushed through his hair while the other hand smoothed his aching shoulder. Everything ached. He liked that. Wait, he knew that sensation. Only one person brushed his hair like that.

Richie slowly started to connect the pieces of the puzzle. “Eddie...” he smacked his lips together, noting that foul taste occupying his mouth.

Shushing him, Eddie stroked his boyfriend’s hair, encouraging him to rest. He looked very worried. “We’ll be home in a bit, Rich.”

Not having the strength to ask any questions lingering in his mind, Richie was terribly guilty that he had to force Eddie to leave work and stop his studies just to come to his rescue. He was stressed enough as it was.

Feeling his stomach flip, Richie could only imagine what social media was like right now. Ronnie was known for making insulting tweets that ended someone’s career. The first time Richie ever performed, thankfully social media was still on the rise, a critic only talked about his anxiety instead of his jokes. From that point on, before each show, Richie did a breathing exercise to get rid of his jitters. 

Groaning, Richie avoided looking out the window of the moving vehicle. Eddie opened the window to let in a cool breeze. Sweat built up on the top of Richie’s eyebrows. He was pretty sure that his clothes were swat soaked at this point. Despite feeling warm, Richie shivered. His bones ached. Eddie noticed, holding his boyfriend tighter.

Right when he was going to alert the driver to pull over, they were home. 

Poor Eddie already had his heavy bag of school books to carry, plus Richie who could barely support himself. Even the little breeze was enough to knock him over. Leaning his boyfriend against the car, Richie’s legs felt like jello. As he waited for Eddie to pay the cab driver, Ronnie’s furious reaction replayed in his mind. 

Grasping his churning stomach, Richie shivered. How was he cold when the sun was out? He just wanted to crawl under the covers and hibernate like a polar bear.

Feeling that uncomfortable nauseating wave in his stomach, Richie hovered his hand over his mouth. “Eddie...” Richie urgently got his boyfriend’s attention. Right when he found his wallet in the mess of his bag, Eddie’s eyes went wide. Quickly, he paid the cab driver. “Keep the change, thank you!”

Climbing the few steps to their house was the equivalent of trying to reach the top of a mountain in Richie’s case. Eddie remembered the first time he ever came home with Richie. Still weak from his injury, Richie carried him inside, bridal style. Richie did so much for him, and now it was time he returned the favor. As he held Richie tightly with one arm around his waist, he encouraged his ill boyfriend until they were in the house.

Briefly having difficulty with the lock, Richie ran through the kitchen, knowing that Eddie abhorred the idea of vomiting in a place where they ate. As soon as he reached the bathroom, Richie fell to his knees, clutching the toilet, vomiting. 

His legs shaking, Eddie took a deep breath. In the midst of studying and working, Eddie also found a window to see a therapist. Throughout his sessions, he talked all about his childhood, his mother lying to him about his illness, and his own battles with anxiety. As one of his goals, Eddie started to conquer his fear of germs so he could be happier. With himself and in his relationship with Richie.

Feeling a soft hand rub against his back while he coughed hoarsely, Eddie removed Richie’s glasses to prevent them from slipping off his nose. “Don’t hold back, Rich, just let it all out,” Eddie encouraged him. “I’m right here.”

Taking deep breaths in through his mouth, Richie kept his eyes shut tight, waiting to see if it all stopped. Everything hurt. His fingers that gripped the toilet, his back and his stomach hurt terribly. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this sick, even when he was a kid. 

All he could see were the nightmare images of faces of the disgusted fans as he kept his eyes shut tight so he wouldn’t have to look at the mess swirling around in the water in front of him.

Ripping off a piece of toilet paper, Eddie flushed the toilet, helped Richie stand, and brought him over to the sink. “Here, brush your teeth, and rinse,” Eddie instructed him. His heart fell looking at his pale face.

Richie swished the water throughout every corner of his mouth, getting rid of that foul taste. His stomach felt better, but knowing that it wouldn’t for long made Richie dread the rest of the day. It was still early afternoon. All he wanted to do was bury himself deep inside a hole. 

“Wash your hands good,” Eddie told him, resting a hand on his shoulder to keep him steady.

Richie was able to think up a funny comeback through his foggy mind. He thought about pretending to spit the water in Eddie’s direction, but he had no energy to turn his neck. Besides, Eddie would have a fit. “Sure thing, dad.”

Eddie gave him a warning look, though he smiled, relieved that Richie was joking. A good sign, at least.

Going into the bedroom, Eddie immediately removed his sweat-soaked shirt, throwing it into the hamper. Just when he was about to bend down, Richie groaned, grasping his aching back. He always had back problems due to a rough fall he took. The next few hours weren’t going to be fun.

Once Richie was dressed in something more comfortable, Eddie tucked him under the blankets of their bed. Then he furiously went all over the place getting Richie water and a separate glass of ginger ale as he took Richie’s temperature. He practically brought out the whole medicine cabinet. And then he wet a towel and rubbed it over Richie’s head to bring his fever down.

“How’d you find out?” Richie barely had the energy to speak. He was about to talk with the thermometer in his mouth, but again Eddie would have a fit. 

Living with a germaphobe wasn’t easy at times. If he coughed, Eddie rushed to get him some cough medicine. Or if he sneezed without using a tissue, Eddie came in from the other room to give him a stock load of tissues. It’s not like Richie was complaining. He never had anyone to take care of him until now. 

“I saw online,” Eddie answered, bending a straw so Richie could take a small sip of water. This morning was so hectic that looking back it felt like a week ago. Before the car gave him trouble, he made it to the auto shop. Who knows when they’d get it back. He was able to get in some study time at the library, but not much. Eddie worked in a little store. Because everyone was at the big show, there wasn’t a lot of business today.  

Curiously, he saw fans talking about the incident on Twiter. Yes, Richie convinced him to get a Twitter. The instant he watched the video of his own boyfriend throwing up on the stage almost made him have a panic attack. At first, he didn’t think he was going to be able to leave, but his boss let him go under the warning that he had to pick up a shift.

“I am so mad that Steve didn’t call me! You get sick and he just decided to keep you there!” Eddie ranted off as he fluffed Richie’s pillow for him. 

“It’s online?” Richie uttered, closing his eyes in dismay.

Eddie’s face broke. That’s right, Richie didn’t know. “Oh, Rich,” Eddie cooed, lightly putting his hand on his stomach, rubbing it in a nice massage to make his boyfriend feel better. “I was so busy this morning. I feel like this is all my fault. You know I would never have let you go to that show, right?”

Richie turned away on his side. No, he was not mad at Eddie, just with himself. He didn’t want him to see the tears. He felt so rotten. So embarrassed. So sick.

It was over. His entire career was over.

“I’ll let you sleep, Rich,” Eddie told him, rubbing his side. “Get some rest. I’m going to be in the other room if you need me, okay?”

Richie was already out like a light in a few minutes. Carefully, Eddie took off his glasses and put them on the nightstand.

Washing his hands good and clean, Eddie felt like crying. How could he let this happen? He was supposed to look after his boyfriend. Not let him go on stage and humiliate himself like that. Guilty, Eddie should have been there. Then Richie wouldn’t have had to stay in that compact room on that uncomfortable couch.

Going into the little office space Richie made up just for him, Eddie tried to concentrate of getting some work done. He had to finish an essay, a test was coming up within the week, and he had to read a whole chapter in the textbook. 

Sighing, this felt wrong. This was his boyfriend. It felt so wrong to be in two separate rooms. When he was recovering from his own injury, or if he ever got sick, Richie stuck to him like glue. Eddie found it annoying at the time, but now that their roles reversed, he was so thankful for Richie always being by his side.

Richie needed him. Making up space in their bedroom, Eddie worked on whatever homework he needed to get done while tending to Richie at the same time.

“I’m right here, Richie,” he whispered to his love as he slept.

[eliotquillon]

mark walden and politics in h.i.v.e

as you probably all know by now (thanks to the j.k rowling fiasco), art and politics are inherently linked; whether it’s intentional or not, it’s difficult to extricate an author’s beliefs from the way they manifist in literature. and with that in mind, let’s talk about politics in h.i.v.e.

h.i.v.e is a series that has never exactly shied away from criticising the politics of the year each book was published in, and you can probably see this best in the character of matt ronson, who is the most obvious stand in for mitt romney that i’ve ever seen in my entire life. romney was running against obama in the 2012 election, and, coincidentally enough, matt ronson appears in deadlock, which was published in 2013 (and almost certainly written during 2012). in case you’ve repressed the events of deadlock (which i wouldn’t blame you for lmao), ronson’s a senior member of the disciples - he’s actually head of an entire cell - and is running for president in order to secure the disciples’ control over the united states. it’s not exactly subtle imagery. it’s definitely the boldest walden gets in terms of critiquing the state of late 00s-early 2010s politics, and is also the example that i think is easiest to pick up on, because of how similar ronson and romney’s names are, and how in-your-face the whole scene is. i mean, otto leaves ronson to die in a plane pre-programmed to crash in the middle of the ocean because when raven tells him that a bullet would’ve been quicker, his response is, quote, “too quick.” for further proof, if you check walden’s twitter, he’s pretty positive towards obama on the whole, which i imagine is why he decided to kill off obama’s presidential challenger.

but that’s not the first time politics gets infused in h.i.v.e. the first time - the one that actually serves as the catalyst for, well, everything - is otto deposing the prime minister by making him moon the nation on live television. book 1 was published in 2006; this was when tony blair was prime minister in the uk. if you’re unfamiliar with uk politics, blair is pretty harshly criticised on both sides of the political spectrum for his role in the iraq war/the 2008 financial crash (although he resigned and appointed gordon brown as his successor in 2007), and the fact that he created ‘new labour’, a movement which pushed the predominantly working class, leftist labour party further towards the ‘moderate centre’ in an attempt to capture more of the middle class vote as opposed to labour’s traditional post-industrial ‘northern heartlands’. the prime minister that otto deposes is blair, or at least a stand in for him; i’ll give proof below.

the important thing is that otto decides to get rid of the prime minister because st. sebastian’s is closing down, and st. sebastian’s is closing down because of the prime minister’s childcare reforms that result in, quote, “the restructuring of local childcare provision.” whether or not st. sebastian being closed would’ve been an overal net positive or not is debatable (otto mentions that the building was starting to become “genuinely unsafe”), but if you don’t know much about blair, he was BIG on restructuring, especially in london, where st sebastian’s is located, and something in particular that blair was fond of was giving more powers to local councils (essentially, shifting the uk to more of a federal system than a centralised one). you’ve probably already guessed, but yep, the letter that announces st. sebastian’s is closing comes from the local council. it’s also mentioned that the childcare reforms have “the prime minister’s personal backing”, and, yep, childcare budgets and early years spending increased exponentially under blair (he even renamed the department of education to the department of children, schools, and families, which was promptly renamed AGAIN once labour left office, but that’s a rant for another day). there’s also the fact that otto goes to brighton for the prime minister’s party conference - this is where the labour party conference is held, whereas the conservative party conference alternates between birmingham and manchester. finally, in zero hour (published in 2010) it’s mentioned that the prime minister resigned and that his party lost in the next general election - this is exactly what happened to blair and new labour after the financial crash. of course, this evidence is very circumstantial, but i don’t think that this is a coincidence, and, anyway, i struggle to see how walden could’ve been more explicit in implying that this is blair without facing parental backlash.

now onto the political commentary; i’ve already mentioned how everyone hates blair, and walden is no exception. the statement that otto makes the prime minister is absolutely damning. it’s too long for me to copy and paste the entire thing (i say, when this post is going to be ridiculously long anyway), but here are some highlights: “we hold you and your families in nothing but the deepest contempt”, “i don’t think that we get enough credit for having to put up with your constant whining”, “half of you can barely read or write, and the way the education system’s going, that’s not going to change any time soon”, “we don’t care” “all we care about is power and money”, “shut your mouths and cut the moaning, because we don’t give a monkey’s.” i think it’s pretty safe to say that this is not exactly positive. personally, i think that the “moaning” and “whining” walden refers to here is a reference to the anti-war protests about the us/uk invasion of iraq, and there were complaints about the scrapping of grammar schools/“dumbing down” of the GCSE qualifications (regardless of whether or not that was intentional) across the board for years both before and after blair got into power. but whichever way you look at it, this is not a glowing representation of blair. and if you look on walden’s twitter (again), he tends to retweet a lot from michael rosen and owen jones, both prominent labour members who are very staunchly anti blair and anti ‘new labour’.

also, while searching walden’s twitter for blair references, i also came across this 2019 tweet:

where, as you can see, he shares an anecdote about how his old house used to be next to an army range and that his neighbour told him that military helicopters were often “flown by a 21 year old with a hangover”. and, like, i’m not saying that that’s the inspiration for 13 year old laura being able to hack a military base so she could spy on her classmates, but i’m totally saying that.

anyway, there’s one more political figure i want to cover here, and that’s duncan cavendish, aka the prime minister in zero hour. anyway: duncan cavendish is former conservative prime minister david cameron (notice the identical initials). i did actually ask walden about this on twitter, and he said he ‘couldn’t possibly comment’, which imo most likely means that he’s unable to confirm because of contractual reasons. but anyway: zero hour was published in 2010, the year of the election which put the conservatives (for clarity’s sake, i’m going to be referring to them as tories for the rest of this post) back into power for the first time in 13 years (albeit in a coalition with the centrist libdem party), meaning that it was written in 2009 when cameron was party leader, and after the 2008 crash. i don’t think walden knew for sure that cameron would come to power (after all, in zero hour it’s stated that cavendish’s party won by a landslide, whereas the actual 2010 election resulted in ‘hung parliament’), but it wasn’t exactly a hard guess to make that labour would lose after the events of 2007/8 and their record in iraq.

something that particularly sticks out to me is cavendish thanking nero for switching him from the polfi stream to the alpha stream - in real life, cameron has an a level in economics, and studied philosophy, politics, and economics at oxford and his father is also a stockbroker, all aspects which certainly scream polfi to me. personally, i think this was a dig at cameron’s fairly elitist background, and the fact that he’s historically been seen as an opportunist rather than a real leader. also, cameron was once approached in the former soviet union by two men he suspected were KGB agents trying to recruit him, and i’m not saying that walden used this connection when linking cavendish to pietor furan and the disciples, but....yeah. there’s also the fact that nero references cavendish’s academic record of going to an elite boys’ school being fudged, and, yeah, cameron attended eton (he also got suspended for smoking cannabis, which is just. a lot to think about for a man who helped push through legislation that further penalised cannabis users). again, on twitter walden has been extremely outspoken against the tories in general, specifically about brexit, the referendum for which occurred under cameron’s government. also walden kind of predicted the future: in zero hour, cavendish is blackmailed by nero into resigning. in real life, cameron resigned the whip (left both his post and the tory party as an MP) in 2016 after the uk voted to leave the eu. obviously that’s not proof of anything but it just makes me laugh.

those are the specific figures - now let’s talk more about walden’s general ideologies. he’s very anti-gun on twitter, and this obviously links to wing and his refusal to wield guns/shoot people; wing’s arguably the most staunchly moral character in the series, which i don’t think is a coincidence. walden bashed mass surveillance by having otto abhor (and later destroy) echelon; echelon is actually a real international government project that was originally designed for military surveillance but later branched out into greater mass surveillance (also, fun fact! i only live about an hour’s drive from an echelon radome base, so i hope my mi5 agent is enjoying this post). we see walden criticise mass surveillance again with the existence of the artemis project (and also the disciples’ use of facial recognition software), and while i have no idea whether or not that’s real, i think everyone knows that there are multiple international coalitions devoted to gathering and sharing data on world citizens (google the nine eyes partnership if you want to give yourself a bit of a crisis). walden has reposted a picture that says ‘make orwell fiction again’ on twitter, so it’s pretty clear where he stands on that. in general, walden is left wing, and that shows in his books - while i’ve corroborated all of my assumptions here with evidence i found on walden’s twitter, i came to most of these conclusions on my own just from reading the source material.

and this is why i’m only 90% joking when i talk about walden lagging behind on book 9 because there’s so many different things he needs to satirize. the global stage has changed dramatically since deadlock’s publication, and if walden’s passionate about critiquing those in power, he’s got a lot of content to choose from - trump, obviously, but also boris johnson and theresa may over on this side of the pond (and he really, really hates johnson). h.i.v.e as a story is inherently political, and not just because of the more obvious “morally grey villains” trope. walden uses his fictional world to critique the real-life authority figures in control, and does so while keeping it subtle enough so as to not tip off most casual readers. overall, it’s pretty impressive.