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#i got the museum cover
howtowhumpyourhiccup · 2 months
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Love that there are two covers for this book, each representing the two places it takes place in the most. The Wonder Museum and the Willows.
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fatehbaz · 25 days
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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Also before I disappear again: I am taking a fashion history course rn (prepare for historically accurate tlg redesigns lmao) and we have to hunt down references as a study guide and I FOUND RENAISSANCE DORIAN GRAY
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this is the description written by the MET
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and here's the link if you wanna read more :)
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topazshadowwolf · 8 months
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ok we know Nightmare plays Animal Crossing but what would his opinion on Stardew Valley be?
I think his opinion would be “meh.” It is cute and there is some collecting involved but it’s all pixels, farms aren’t interesting to him, and the dating aspect Killer explained made him roll his eyelight. He doesn’t need or want a virtual spouse.
#i looooved Harvest Moon for the Super Nintendo.#I played it so much#I read about it in a Nintendo power magazine and was all set on buying it#but they stores near me never got it on the release day.#found my copy in a game stop on a trip to my grandma’s house#she didn’t have a Super Nintendo and her TV was old… so I had to wait to play it a week before we went home.#I read the instruction manual cover to cover every day in anticipation#I knew how to play that game like I had been playing it all my life when I turned it on#played it the very next day after we got home#I was never an early riser but I got up that day before everyone else and played all day…#then I got my mom into it X3#basically#I think I’d like Stardew Valley if I ever get around to playing it#since I loved Harvest Moon so much#and I heard it was like the original Harvest Moons.#the first few when the focus was your farm and life#what Nightmare likes most about Animal Crossing is the collection aspect of it.#you collect for the museum fossils n bugs n fishe#you collect furniture n floors n wall styles#heck#you even collect clothing and pictures of residents when they move#that is what he enjoys#collecting#flowers#forgot that you collect those#and yes#he will make sure to hire Dust to go through and water the flowers for him to make sure he has at least one of each color.#but he is a busy skeleton and forgets at times#he does need someone to either remind him to water the flowers or do it for him#and he trusts Dust to not accidentally run through his roses.
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tittyinfinity · 1 year
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Yesterday my mom said we were going on a cave tour but we ended up going to a Racism Museum and then driving a golf cart on long sidewalks for 5 minutes of looking down into a canyon (there was no going into a cave)
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eggmeralda · 1 year
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made a load of stickers out of paper and sellotape and stuck them on my laptop and phone and the AMOUNT of serotonin from just having them is unbelievable
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jj-pines · 1 year
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Has anyone else ever had dreams that last years? Then you just wake up in tears because what just happened??
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bunnymajo · 2 years
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Looking at my manga collection and trying to decide “I know I like this because it’s magical girl, but if that element was missing would I even want to re-read it? and is that worth it enough to me to hold on to?”
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charlottan · 8 months
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there should be covers but for movies. i have got to see wes anderson's take on night at the museum
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shotmrmiller · 9 days
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ps!ghost's twitter feed used to be of him at conventions. his car. him in a pool. the gym. arm around johnny in his backyard. sprawled on his couch next to kyle. basic stuff. the occasional obligatory promo of the video he shoots.
then it's one faceless pic of you for your OF. pretty thing, puffy pussy visible through your sodden knickers. thighs spread wide, feet on each side of the slim mirror. retweets it with a water emoji.
now, it's him with a cup of steaming black coffee in his hands, a sleek macbook before him on the marble-top kitchen island (hand covering the lower half of his face because it's too damn early for the mask. kinda looks like he's yawning. cute.)
johnny throwing up two fingers, thick wrist adorned with a bracelet, sunlight glinting off of its jewels. vacation, it looks like. cobblestone street beneath his loafers. panna cotta gelato in his other hand.
it's him with his hands in his pockets, neck craned back to look at the masterpiece that hangs on the wall— brushstrokes of genius on canvas. he's got a healthy glow to him, sun-kissed gold. warm, unlike the clinical white of the museum walls.
then it's you again. this time you've got two small (in comparison to his very long ones) fingers stuffed into your greedy hole, glistening with slick. heart eyes emoji.
and again. a vibrant pink vibrator in your cunt, one arm reaching for the camera, remote control in hand. put it as intense as you like. i can handle it. two heart eyes and water emoji.
and again, 3 consecutive pictures. your face is covered by a big red heart, but everything else is visible. like the creamy white fluffy rabbit ears on your head, a collar around your neck, tiny carrot charm delicately dangling from it, white cottonball tail on your arse. small, black triangles on your head: cat ears. silky collar with a tinkling silver bell. long, furry plume-like tail, obsidian black with a precious white bow at the base. last is a puppy mask. buttery faux-leather, sleek and smooth. padded fist mitts, rosy, pink paws. whip-like tail. a thick collar around your neck, chain links glimmering with the camera's flash. handle on the floor, beckoning to be picked up, to lead you about. i'd be a good pet, don't you think?
(simon spam retweeted this 6 times. kyle sent him a message about it, telling him his twitter is freaking out. it was most assuredly not a mistake.) lowered his joggers enough to take himself out and fisted his cock until he covered that pretty arse of yours with his seed. was not fun cleaning up his phone after but so worth.
(he'll never admit that heat blooms in his cheeks when fans ask if you're his lover. how lucky you are. must be seeing nameless gods beneath him, touching the sky with your fingertips when he uses his mouth. seeing the universe behind your eyelids when he makes you come around his cock.)
he wishes, lol.
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neonphoenix · 1 year
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azulhood · 3 months
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It all started because of a school project, technically two projects, while it wasn't a world ending threat they set of a change reaction that lead to startling discoveries.
Mr Lancer had given the class the task of looking through their pasts and finding an life changing event that helped shape them into the person that were today and writing about that event.
It was a ten page essay (they were allowed to go over that limit) the more details the better and if you had something from that event to show (such as photos or keepsakes or really anything) you were awarded extra credit.
Danny's choice of event was the school field trip to a nearby museum he went on when he was seven, the space exhibit they had was what sparked his love for the stars and kick-started his dreams of being an astronaut.
It wasn't like he had any other choice (he doubted mister Lancer would accept 'my death' as a good life changing event)
He knew that he had photos of the field trip somewhere with all the other photos taken throughout his life, he just had to find them.
And after digging through thousands of boxes and piles of discarded inventions he handled with care (in case they blew up) he found them tucked inside an old photo album covered in green stains that sat on top of a bookshelf.
Opening the book caused all the pictures to fall into his lap, it seems like his parents didn't get around to actually adding them to the book, Danny resigned himself to spending the rest of his day shifting through old photos.
It wasn't all bad though, he found pictures of when Sam still had blonde hair and wore pink and of that time Tucker wrote an 'I love you' on his parents cars with their keys and many other embarrassing photos.
A treasure trove of blackmail material.
He finally found the picture he was looking for.
All of the kids who are now students of Casper high stood in front of an old building each proudly holding up something they bought in the gift shop (Danny had bought a book on planets that had long ago fallen apart)
It was a normal photo.
And yet, something seemed off.
Sam and Tucker were there with him in between them, Dash was there too.
Along with Kwan, Mikey, Paulina, Valerie, and all the others.
And yet, something was missing.
Then it hit him.
Wes wasn't there.
Danny could've sworn that he had been on that trip, but the more he thought about it the less he was sure.
He couldn't actually remember Wes being there and Danny remembered nearly everything about that trip.
'Maybe he was sick or something?' It was the most logical thing he could think of to explain the other absence, that and his parents not wanting him to go for some reason.
Mystery solved he pushed it to the back of his mind , he had an essay to finish.
Still, it stuck with him.
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The next school project Lencer gave them was one with assigned partners.
Danny got Wes who, despite not being Sam or Tucker, was leagues better then Dash and he'd take that as a win.
Wes had insisted on studying at his house so he could, and Danny quotes "Keep an eye on you Fenton"
Danny could practically feel the hidden cameras burning a hole into him while he stood in front of the Weston's door, waiting for him to go ghost for whatever reason.
Jokes on him though, Danny asked all the ghosts to leave him along for this month with the promise of giving them a head start the next time they caused trouble, so really Wes was just wasting his time.
"This way." Wes said already heading inside without caring if Danny followed.
Being the first time he had ever been in Wes's home Danny looked at everything and anything.
It was a fairly normal home, not like Danny's which had an anti-ghost defense system or Sam's super rich house.
But more like Tuckers
One of the things that drew his attention was the pictures that lined the walls.
There were so many.
Some with Wes and his mom, some with just him, some with just his mom, and some with people Danny didn't recognise.
But there were no baby photos.
The only pictures Danny could find of a young Wes seemed to be from when he was eight? Nine?
And nothing before.
'Maybe they were put away in storage' Danny guessed, but it still made his brain itch.
He remembered looking at old school photos and not finding any sign of a young Wes at all, he didn't even remember Wes coming to school any time before the year Danny turned eight.
And in a small town where everyone knew everyone that really wasn't possible.
'Maybe they moved here and lost a lot of stuff' Which would explain a lot, well no harm in asking. "Did you loss a lot when you moved here?"
Wes stopped walking and turned around to give him a look that asked if he was insane. "I've lived here my whole life, Fenton."
Danny froze, that couldn't be right, he'd remember that.
Something was wrong.
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Tim Drake sat in front of the bat computer as the rest of his family patrolled.
He had one monitor displaying the other bats locations while all the other monitors were used to show him files, or rather the lack there of.
Wayne Enterprises had tournaments held for schools and the prize was an all express paid trip to Gotham and tour of WE and surrounding areas, Tim could think of way better prizes that weren't visiting the crime capital of the world but that wasn't the point.
What was the point was that every time there was a winner Tim preformed a routine background check on students and staff (and by routine he means learn their whole live story) just in case anyone happened to be trained assassins set to kill one of them, stranger things have happened.
Wes Weston was one such student whose background Tim had to check.
And he found nothing.
Sure, there were hospital and school documents from age eight and upwards, but other then that nothing.
There was no birth certificate, no evidence of him attending daycare, nothing.
It was as if Wes did not exist before he was eight years old.
And perhaps the most interesting thing.
Amy Weston was listed as Wes's biological mother, DNA even said as much, and yet Amy's medical file said that she had never been pregnant and also had no siblings that could've been Wes's parent.
And yet Wes existed, appearing one day as if he had always been there.
Was it cloning? Aliens? Magic? A changeling? Someone creating false information to hide the truth?
It was a mystery, and mysteries had always been Tim's Kryptonite.
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blushweddinggowns · 11 months
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Idea expanded, Rockstar Eddie falling head over heels for Bartender Steve working in a high class club type of joint. He sees him working one night and thinks God damn, he's hot. I'm taking him home tonight.
Except bartender Steve has developed a significant distaste for celebrities and rich people in general because of getting cut off from his homophobic parents for coming out and the general bad way many have treated him at work whilst sloshed. But lucky for Eddie, Steve doesn't recognize him. And even though he started off in a trailer park, the fame has gone to his head a little and he asks Steve out with the full intention of getting into his pants and never seeing him again.
But oh no, would you look at that Steve isn't easy. And what Eddie thought would be a booty call ends up being a ten hour date around the city where he has more fun than he even thought was possible. Just from talking with Steve about anything and everything, flitting to parks and museums. And Eddie doesn't even realize until he's back at his hotel that they didn't even kiss.
And they go out more and more, and Eddie likes him more and more and he finds out where the rich people hate comes from. And it scares him. So he keeps lying. Like an idiot. And he tells Steve a fake last name, he tells him a fake job (which is only half fake because he did used to be a tattoo artist) and he rents an air bnb that he pretends is his own place. And the lies keep getting more elaborate to cover up more lies. And he keeps refusing to meet Steve's friends out of fear that they'll recognize him. And he really just drove himself into a corner here because he is absolutely in love with Steve at this point but how the fuck can you have a normal relationship when you are pretending to be someone else?
Turns out you can't, and Steve finds out the truth despite his efforts. But the twist is, he thinks it's fucking hilarious. After a normal period of What the fuck reaction time he gets over it. But never let's Eddie live it down.
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6/27 Edit: Welp, now there's a fic.
Two fics actually. The other is by KikiZ on ao3 which is great if you're not looking for an explicit fic! Because mine will be. It's also a bit more introspective than what I got going on, and also thus far, hella romantic.
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letssimptogether · 11 months
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Slashers x Pregnant! Reader
✨ reader almost gets hurt by a victim/victim uses reader as leverage — requested by anon ✨
includes: Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Thomas Hewitt, Brahms Heelshire, and Poly! Ghostface
warnings: mentions or possible descriptions of (slight!) violence, cursing
a/n: i might use some manga as lil cover pictures when writing multiple slashers/idk what picture to use idk i think they’re cute teehee😅🤭 anyways, sorry for the wait—i hope you all enjoy! readers pronouns are gender neutral💜💜
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💜Bo Sinclair
You just finished doing the dishes, when you heard a knock at the door. Unsure it was one of the boys, you scooted from your comfy couch spot and opened the door.
To your surprise, it was not one of the boys—and much to the unexpected visitor's surprise, someone opened the damned door.
“Please, you have to help me.” The man begged in front of you, big sloppy tears pouring from his eyes.
You paused and looked at the male in front of you before raising a brow. You knew what was up, but you never had to deal with the victims before, especially now that you’re over a month pregnant—Bo really doesn’t want you talking or handling them.
“They’re going to get me,” He choke and sobbed, “I need your help.”
Unsure of what to do, you stood there for a few seconds longer, thinking of what the safest option was, but also one that wouldn’t put the boys in danger.
Over the surprise visitor's shoulder, you could see Bo approaching, and he was just a few buildings away—while staring at Bo, and trying to decide your option, the visitor turned around to catch what you were looking at and met Bo’s now rage-filled demeanor.
Quickly, he shoved you to the floor, hopping over you; only stepping on your arm. The minute Bo reached you, he gently helped you up and cupped your cheek. He then pressed a small kiss to your nose and asked you to go to your guy’s shared bedroom.
You could hear each sloshing stabbing sound and the man’s blood-curdling screams almost all night before Bo accompanied you in bed.
🩷Vincent Sinclair
You happily made your way towards the Wax Museum, a plate of food in your hand for your beloved since you know Vincent most likely hasn’t eaten yet.
Once you got to the entrance of the museum, much to your startle, the door was already open. And to make matters worse, you hear two voices giggling.
You stood still beside the entrance, your free hand holding where your womb is, pausing to think of your best option for safety for you and the growing baby. Vincent must've known of their presence, so it's only a matter of time now. Once their whispering died down, you snuck inside the building, peeking around each corner and listening to make sure nobody could see or hear you. You turned a corner too quick in your need to get to Vincent, that you bumped your hip on a nearby table, almost causing you to drop your plate. "Shit," You silently muttered, panicking slightly from your slight bump. "What was that?" A man asked just faint enough for you to hear, causing your panic to rise more. "Maybe it's the dog from earlier?" A woman responded questioningly. As if on cue, Vincent sneaks around the corner and places a comforting hand on your shoulder, while also signaling you to shush before pointing in the direction of where the intruders. He quickly puts his hand over his mask's mouth, then presses it softly to where your baby bump's growing like a little kiss. And from there, he went to take care of the two.
💜Lester Sinclair
You were riding in the truck with Lester, as he went to run errands when a stranger waved you guys down alongside the road.
“Hey! Hi—sorry to bother you guys,” The stranger stumbled nervously, “Something happened and we really need to get to our friends, would one of us be able to catch a ride to the nearest town?”
You and Lester exchanged unsure glances, but Lester agreed nonetheless. You scooted to the middle seat closer Lester, giving him one last worried glance before patting the seat for the stranger.
The three of you rode in an uncomfortable silence, occasionally making some small talk about the small town of Ambrose, and how the two of you like it.
“Ain’t too bad,” Lester spoke up, “Pretty quiet. Everyone minds their own business for the most part.”
The strangers phone started to ring, and they quickly apologized and answered, stiffening in statue after what seemed 10 seconds. They nervously side eyed Lester and you a few times, while giving verbal acknowledgments over the phone.
“Excuse me—can you stop the car?” They asked, feigning a polite exterior, their jaw quivering and the right hand upon the door handle shook nervously.
“Mhm,” Lester slowed to a stop, but before the old beat up truck could even get to a halt, the stranger opened the door, and grabbed you, pulling the both of you out of the car, leaving only Lester in the drivers seat.
“Stay back, freak! Or—or else!” The stranger shoved you to the ground, then pointing a finger to Lester, to prove a point to him that they’re not above violence.
You tried to crawl away, but the stranger had other plans.
“Get back here, bitch,” The strangers focus was too engrossed into you, they didn’t notice Lester hop out of the truck, “I heard what you did to my friends!”
The stranger went to reach for you, but was stopped by Lester pulling them back and punching perpetrator in the throat.
“Hell is wrong with you hitting a pregnant person,” Lester’s punches did not ease up until the strangers face looked like a bloody pulp.
Once he finished, he walked over to where you stood yourself up, and pulled you in for a hug, and pressed a kiss to your forehead and knelt down to press a kiss to your tummy.
“Y’okay, sugar?” He grasped your hand, and walked you to the truck and helped you sit down comfortably.
🩷Thomas Hewitt
You and Luda sat in the kitchen knitting things for the baby that’s on the way.
“Y/N, would you be a dear and check on the pie?” Luda politely inquired.
“Of course!” You opened the oven to check, but the pie wasn’t fully done, so you reset the timer for about 5 minutes.
You took your seat back, and continued knitting your baby blanket. Luda stood up, and started cleaning the counters and washing the dishes used to make the cherry pie.
Faint scrambling and screaming could be heard coming from the basement, but you just turned on the small radio and continuing knitting zigzags into the blankets design.
Until someone managed to scramble their way to the first floor, scrambling through the living room, and then the kitchen.
“You two! Hey! You have to help me!” The man pleaded, “He’s trying to kill me down there!”
The man pointed down in the basement, and Luda looked at him unimpressed. She was sneaking her way to find something to hit the person with without being detected, but the man grabbed onto your hand and tried pulling you with him.
“Please! You have to listen to me; he’s going to kill me—then he’s going to kill you too!” He sobbed, ripping you from your chair at the small table.
“I—” You didn’t get a chance to respond or call for help before the man pulled you outside and down the wooden steps.
“Tommy!” You hear Luda Mae call out, “They’re trying to take Y/N!”
About two minutes later, Thomas ran through the door, his chainsaw rumbling with a seething rage. Within a minute, your captor was mowed down by Thomas, who then dropped the (now off) chainsaw, and spun you in the air with his embrace, pressing his forehead to yours.
That night, Thomas made you a warm bath and you enjoyed a cool cup of sweet tea while you got to munch on the pie you and Luda made from earlier.
💜Brahms Heelshire
It was a cool Sunday afternoon, and you were waiting for Malcolm to bring groceries to the house for you and Brahms—who was hiding upstairs, waiting for your okay to come out.
You sat in the living room, sipping on your favorite hot beverage while rereading a book you started, but haven’t finished.
Faint knocking could be heard from the front door, so you placed your book and drink down, and peeled through the door.
Malcom finally arrived; which means Brahms can come out soon!
“Afternoon, Malcolm!” You gave a small smile with your greeting, which dropped when you saw the man who delivers Brahms and your groceries arrived empty handed.
“Malcolm wh—” You were cut off by his quick ramblings.
“Y/N, you have to get out of here,” He quickly blurted out, “Brahms is alive; he-he’s been living in the walls!”
Mentally, you rolled your eyes. You knew this, obviously—he is your partner after all.
“What do you mean?” You faked concern, even though you had a feeling you knew how this would end.
The grocery boy would enter, prohibited to leave; his fate sealed past the front door.
“Brahms—I SAW him, Y/N.” He huffed, pacing in a nervous circle.
“I think you’re just seeing things, Malcolm. I live here, don’t you think I’d know if he’s here? Wouldn’t I have seen or heard him?” You retorted, raising an eyebrow, trying your best to gaslight him into leaving you and Brahms alone.
He grasped your hand, “If you refuse to believe it, I have no choice. We’re getting out of here and somewhere safe.”
Little did he know, Brahms was watching the whole interaction. And boy is he pissed.
He snuck out through one of the walls, and approached Malcolm from behind.
“Y/N,” He whined, walking towards where Malcom had a grip on your wrist, “Don’t go.”
“Get him Brahms!” You cried, ripping your arm away from Malcolm and backing away.
Brahms quickly gripped Malcolm’s neck, squeezing so hard his poor face turned a blueish purple from the lack of oxygen due to Brahms’ rage.
As soon as Malcom’s body felt limp, Brahms ran towards your slightly nervous form, nuzzling his masked face into your neck, whimpering softly while rubbing your belly.
🩷Poly! Ghostface
You laid sprawled out upon the bed that the three of you shared, watching nostalgic horror movies. Your phone wasn’t too far from your reach due to the boys needing a ride later.
As if on cue, said device started ringing with Stu’s ringtone.
“Hey, babe!” You perked up, “You need me to come scoop you guys up?”
“Mhm-ow!” The sound of slapping could be heard on your end, and Stu groaned over the phone.
“Hi cutie,” Billy snatched the phone from Stu, “Seems nobody’s here. Can you come get us now?”
“Absolutely!” You beamed before hanging up, running to your car, and starting it.
Once you got to the location they sent you, you pulled into the driveway, turned your lights off, and parked the car.
With few lights lit in the house, you could only make out one figure running around in the dark rather than two. Nonetheless, you brushed it off due to how dim the house was, and you turned your music back up, rubbing your hand over the slight bump.
The figure snuck out of the house, and knocked on the window of the car.
“Are you their ride, bitch?” She sneered, “I overheard those fuck-faces on the phone talking about a ride.”
You tried to lock the doors, which you left unlocked for the boys, but the assailant was faster to open the door. She tried to rip you out of the car as you covered yourself up for defense, both not realizing the seatbelt was on.
“Billy!” You screamed out, “Stu, help please!”
The stranger retracted their fist to hit you, but was pulled back by Billy’s grip, before he plunged a knife into her. She glared at you as she tried to hit Stu who blocked her path, gladly taking a turn stabbing her in the ribs.
They dropped her, and both huddled around you, pressing kisses to your forehead and cheek while their hands hold your baby bump.
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shellshocklove · 9 days
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does anyone know where the love of god goes? | joel miller
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pairing/AU: joel miller x female!reader – post breakout & no ellie AU
summary: crossing the country alone as he searches for his brother, joel stumbles on a farm. winter is closing in, and against his better judgement he's convinced to stay. as the frost covers the land like a blanket, a warmth ignites in his heart for the young woman who's home he finds himself in.
warnings: this is an 18+ fic so minors dni!!! canon-typical violence, age gap (reader is mid to late twenties), swearing, dead animals, joel being a sad man, masturbation, no use of y/n
a/n: i soft launched this ao3 last month and it flopped lol so i'm gonna keep my expectations low for this series. anyways this has been a story i've been thinking about since probably october. this is the first part of what i'm hoping will be 3 parts. happy reading i guess
main masterlist / series masterlist / ao3 / playlist
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The leaves rustled against Joel’s boots with every step he took. The sun had turned traitor cold, and he couldn’t feel its kiss against his cheek no more. The trees shivered above him in the wind – the only sound for miles except his heavy steps.
Did he still exist, with no one around? Joel had never minded being alone; after the breakout he’d found that he sometimes preferred it. People could be… well, when you’ve seen the worst of humanity, maybe it’s best to leave it behind.
And wasn’t he the worst of humanity? The things he’d done. The people he’d killed, and killed for. The people he’d lost.
But he had to keep going. For Tess. He promised.
Every night as he stared into the flames his thoughts would drift to her – the memories flickering in the fire. They should’ve never gone through that museum – it was supposed to have been empty – they should’ve never left Boston in the first place. Now Tess is gone because of him, him and his stupid plan to find his brother.
And for what? How is he ever gonna find Tommy?
Joel didn’t even know where he was. Nebraska? South-Dakota? Maybe he’d made it to Wyoming and just didn’t know it? Abe had told him ‘Cody Tower’, but Joel hadn’t seen anything other than mother nature for weeks.
Everything had started to look the same. Trees and more trees, a mountain in the distance, a grey and heavy sky above him. He’d been walking for forever. Slowly he moved west– or at least he thought he was. On the days where the sun hung high in the sky and wasn’t shielded behind a cloudy partition, he liked to watch it as it dipped below the earth. As the days turned shorter and shorter, the display of color had started to get more vivid. Joel would watch the light blue turn red and bloody, fiery tongues of flames licking over the horizon while the sharp edges of the mountains, and the triangular shapes of the trees faded into an intense black– like the shape of the mountain and the trees had been cut out with scissors. There wasn’t much to stay alive for anymore– but Joel lived for those few moments where nature painted with fire. Humanity might’ve gone to shit, but the cyclical regularity of mother nature gave Joel a small sense of peace.
But he missed the kiss of the sun against his cheek now. He’d moved into a large forest a few days ago. Tall trees hovered over him like giants and cast shadows down at him. It was colder here than out in the open country, but at least he’d been somewhat shaded from the rain pouring from the grey cover above his head the last few days.
Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
The sound stopped Joel in his tracks. Muscle memory worked on its own, gripping the shotgun slung over his shoulder. He listened for the sound again, to the steady rhythm echoing through the forest.
Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
With slow calculated steps Joel walked in the direction of the sound with the shotgun held tightly to his chest, his finger hovered over the trigger. The chopping sound got louder as he closed in on a man. He couldn’t tell his age with the man’s back turned – but he was strong – Joel could tell from how hard the man’s axe hit the tree trunk.
Taking another silent step, Joel got in position, “How ‘bout you slowly turn around and place that axe on the ground.”
Joel’s voice was hoarse after no use, but still cold and calculated as he spoke his order. He could see he’d startled the man, probably thinking he was alone, just like Joel had thought mere minutes ago.
The man obeyed, turning around slowly. He was older than Joel, maybe mid-seventies, maybe older if the wrinkles and creases around his eyes and nose were to be believed. His hair was white as snow matching his unkempt beard. Joel caught his eye. Strong and steady, no trace of fear one would think a man would feel while having a gun pointed at them.
Joel’s grip around the gun tightened. He wasn’t afraid to pull the trigger if that’s where this was headed. The man watched him calmly before he bent his knees, throwing the axe haphazardly on the ground.
“Kick it over here,” Joel commanded again, and the man obeyed, kicking the axe clumsily towards Joel.
Slowly Joel crept closer, gun still pointed at the man. He locked the heel of his shoe against the shaft, dragging the axe behind him and out of the way.
“Hands where I can see ‘em.”
“Are you going to kill me, son?”
The man’s question puzzled Joel. He said it so calmly, like how you’d ask someone to pass the salt.
“That depends on you.” Joel’s answer pulled at the old man’s lips, a small huff of a laugh escaping them.
“Well, you’re the one with the gun. I think it depends on you.”
Joel tightened his grip on the shotgun again – he didn’t know why –to frighten the man? He didn’t seem very frightened.
“Are you alone?” Joel asked.
“Not anymore,” the man answered.
“Don’t be a smartass,” Joel gritted through his teeth, “who you travelin’ with?”
“No one,” the man’s eyes never left Joel, “I live at a farm about a mile away.”
“Take me to it.”
The man walked with a limp Joel noticed. It was barely there, you wouldn’t see it if you didn’t pay attention, but it was there. The man acted tough enough, but his body revealed his weaknesses. It would be easy to kill him, Joel thought, if it came to that.
He followed the man through the trees with his gun pointed at his back. When they reached the end of the forest a clearing revealed itself. They followed a path through a field of, tall but wilted, brown grass until they reached an overgrown gravel road with a fence running along it. Looking out in the distance, Joel could see small spots of white and black wool. The gravel moaned under their feet as they closed in on a small farm. A two-story house sat in the middle of the barnyard where it was surrounded by a barn who’d seen better days, a silo, and a smaller farmhouse – a stable – Joel noticed as they walked closer.
The man trudged up the front stairs of the main farmhouse, a hand on the handrail keeping him steady.
“Put that gun away would you, son? I don’t want you frightening my wife.” The man broke the silence between them, speaking for the first time since they left the woods.
Joel’s grip on his shotgun didn’t loosen. How could he be sure that this man’s ‘wife’ wasn’t some gang of raiders hiding behind the front door? A question he asked the man through gritted teeth when he turned around to look at Joel.
“There’s nothing of the sort around here,” the man said, “we don’t even see any infected.”
When Joel didn’t say anything, and didn’t lower the gun, the man spoke again, “Who are you?”
“Just someone passin’ through,” Joel answered, making the man chuckle.
“You’re something else, passer-througher,” the old man smiled before he turned around again and stepped inside, leaving Joel on the porch alone.
Abandoned outside he lowered his gun slightly. Inside he could hear muffled voices, a deeper one, definitely the old man, and a brighter one, a woman’s voice. He listened, trying to make out their words with no prevail. The man seemed to have spoken the truth up until now. He most definitely lived on this farm – a seemingly normal farm. This man was just someone making an honest living – even after the apocalypse.
Lowering the gun completely, Joel put the safety on before he slung it over his shoulder. Taking a hollowed step towards the front door, movement in the window to the right of him caught his eye. It was there and then it was gone – just a ruffle of blonde curtains. Then, the door opened revealing an elderly woman.
The man’s wife.
“Welcome, traveler,” she greeted, stepping aside to let Joel in.
He passed through the doorway with a “Thank you, ma’am,” never forgetting his manners even after pointing a gun at her husband.
Inside it looked like a picture taken straight out of a Homes & Gardens magazine. The house was cozy, but it was small. He’d been welcomed into what probably used to be a parlor, but now served its purpose as their living room. It was hard to get a read on the house. Not like those open-floor plan houses he’d built too many of back before the outbreak – this was old, maybe hundreds of years old. The floorboard creaked under his shoes as he walked deeper into the living room, the rest of the house locked away like a secret behind three closed doors. The man was seated in a lounge chair by the fireplace, watching Joel with an expression Joel found it hard to decipher.
“Would you like some tea?” the woman asked, “It’s peppermint from our garden.”
Joel turned his head to the woman. She must be around the same age as the old man, Joel thought. He cleared his throat before he answered with a nod, “Thank you, ma’am.”
She pointed to the sofa, urging him to sit down with a smile before she disappeared through one of the doors to what Joel thought must be the kitchen. He felt the old man watching him as he slid his backpack off his shoulders, placing it on the creaky wooden floor behind the sofa. Joel hesitated for just a second when placing the shotgun up against the back, but decided he wasn’t in any imminent danger.
Joel almost groaned as he sat down. He’d been walking for so long, slept on the hard ground for months, he’d almost forgotten what a comfortable chair was. It almost felt surreal, being invited in for tea, like the outbreak had never happened. Here, it was like the time had stood still.
“So,” the man started, “where are you heading to if you’re just ‘passin’ through’?”
Joel cleared his throat again, “I’m lookin’ for my brother,” he answered truthfully, “last I heard he was somewhere in Wyoming.”
“If you’re going to Wyoming, then what you’re doing all the way up here?” The man queried with a chuckle.
Annoyed, Joel grinded his teeth, “Not many signs in the fuckin’ woods are there?” He huffed.
“I guess not,” the man shrugged, “but you’ve made a heck of a detour… where did you come from? Texas? You sound it.”
“Boston.”
“Boston?” the man didn’t hide his surprise, breathing out chuckles in disbelief, “I’ll give it to you, that’s one long trip.”
Joel only huffed in agreement, turning his head from the man to the window overlooking the barnyard.
“Well,” the man broke the growing silence between the two men, “you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner and for the night– you look like you could need a hot meal and a warm bed.”
Joel’s instinct was to say no, but before he could the front door opened, revealing a young woman. You.
You stopped dead in your tracks as you laid your eyes on Joel, “Oh!”.
The door slammed behind you. Under your arm you were carrying a metal bucket filled with apples. You were beautiful, young, but still beautiful – Joel couldn’t deny it.
“This is…” The man paused.
“Joel.” He cleared his throat, introducing himself, “Joel Miller.”
“Mr. Miller is just passing through– he’s looking for his brother,” the old man explained to you.
You nodded at the information, sat the bucket down before you reached out a hand for Joel to take, introducing yourself. Your hand in his was warm and soft while his own dwarfed yours, rough and calloused. He couldn’t help but think about what his hands had done, the people they’d killed. He shouldn’t be tainting yours, painting them red. Joel quickly drew his hand back, balling it into a fist at his side.
Joel looked over at the old man, “Your daughter?” he asked with a tilt of his head in your direction.
“Oh, no,” the man answered with a playful smile, “You’re not the first person ‘passin’ through’ who’s shown up on our doorstep.”
The door to the kitchen opened to reveal the old woman with a teapot in her hand, and a stacked tower of teacups in the other.
“Let me help you Alma,” you said, taking the teacups from the old woman’s hand before placing them on the table; one in front of Joel, a second in front of the old man, “Here you go Arthur,” and a third next to Joel.
“Did you also want some tea, sweetie?” Alma asked you as she placed the steaming teapot on the table.
“Yes, please, but I can grab a cup myself– sit down,” you smiled and padded the old woman’s shoulder, then you grabbed the bucket of apples and disappeared into the kitchen.
Alma started pouring the tea as a silence fell over the room. A small, “Thank you, ma’am,” left Joel’s lips as she moved on to pouring tea for her husband.
“So,” the man started before taking a sip of his tea, “what do you say Mr. Miller? You staying for the night?”
That night as he laid in a real bed for the first time in months, Joel had trouble falling asleep. He wasn’t used to this. Hadn’t been used to it for a while. His belly full, soft fabric against his skin, feeling warm, and clean. The old couple had offered him one of the two bedrooms on the first floor, the two mystery doors in the living room now revealed. Laying in his new bed he tried not to think about who he was sharing a wall with.
You.
You were something else, helpful and kind. Everything Joel hadn’t seen since the outbreak. At the dinner table you’d asked him questions and listened intently – even when his answers were short and brisk. There was a glimmer in your eye, and it touched something inside him he hadn’t felt in a long time. But you were young, mid to late twenties he reckoned, maybe a little older– anyways, he shouldn’t be harboring anything for you, it wouldn’t be right. Especially now, now that he’d agreed to stay.
After the dinner plates had been cleared, Arthur had folded a big map out on the table. “Here are we now,” he’d pointed a finger at the map. Montana. Southern Montana to be precise. “I’ll give it to you Mr. Miller, if you’ve made it this far on your own you probably won’t have any trouble making your way down south to Wyoming.”
“But?” Joel watched the grimace pulling at the old man’s face.
“But,” Arthur had said, “Winter is just around the corner and… well, going back out there in the wilderness alone during our winters is a dead trap, I’ll tell you that much.”
Joel had let the man go on about the far below freezing temperatures, the heavy snow, and the tough wind, but Joel wasn’t stupid. He knew the winters up here were harsh. It wasn’t even winter yet, but every day he’d felt the temperature drop lower and lower, and the last few of nights he’d even had to get a fire going, against his better judgement.
So– the deal was: Joel would stay over the winter. Just for the winter, he’d been adamant on not staying longer. He’d get a place to stay, a warm bed to sleep in, and food in his belly on one condition – he’d help out on the farm.
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The fire crackled loudly, red tongues licking up the chimney as Joel fed it another log. He watched as the fire caught in the new log, devouring it quickly and with no mercy. It was really starting to heat up now. A small flicker of pride sparked in Joel chest. He’d always been good at building a fire. It was one of those things, Joel had come to learn, where you needed to pay attention, to have patience.
When he was younger, he’d take Tommy out camping sometimes, just the two of them. Mostly they’d go during the summer; Tommy wasn’t a fan of sleeping outside in the cold, though cold had meant something different back then in Texas. But Joel remembered one time he’d managed to convince him to go with him. It was right after he’d gotten his driver’s license, and his parents had given him a beat-up truck for his birthday – for sharing – they’d told him, “You need to give your little brother a ride when he needs it!” Joel wasn’t exactly thrilled about his future as Tommy’s private driver, but it didn’t mean he didn’t love his brother.
A few weeks into October he’d managed to convince Tommy to go camping. They’d packed the truck with their tents, sleeping bags, and fishing equipment, before they’d gotten on the road, driving to a lake where they knew there were fish to catch. Finding a place to camp was always difficult with Tommy. They’d parked Joel’s truck at the edge of the forest before they’d followed a hiking trail. Joel was convinced they’d walked at least three quarters of the way around the lake before they found a spot good enough for Tommy.
It had to be flat, but also shielded. There couldn’t be too many rocks, but there also had to be enough rocks to build a hearth. Tommy wanted it to be private, but he also wanted it to be open enough that he could see if someone would stumble upon their camp. Joel knew not to argue with him when he got like that, opting instead for a defeated, “Whatever.”
Setting up camp went relatively easy. They’d worked together building the tents, collecting rocks for their fireplace, and even managed to find a fallen tree to use as a bench. When the night slowly started to cover them in darkness, Tommy decided to get the fire going. Joel watched him work the logs into a pile as he started on filleting the fish they’d just caught.
“You’re doin’ it wrong,” he’d told his brother, “You’re suffocatin’ it.” He’d washed his hands in the lake, ridding himself of the slimy smell of fish, before crouching down next to Tommy.
The fire was one big bowl of smoke, and Joel caught himself wondering what messages Tommy must’ve been sending to the heavens. He removed some of the heavier logs, and the fire could breathe.
“See?” he’d looked at Tommy, “It just needed air.” Joel had shifted the smaller pieces of wood around and not long after the fire was alive.
That Joel, that green boy who liked to take his little brother camping, that Joel didn’t know how much those skills would come in handy in a few years when the world would get turned upside down.
“Do you have any mittens, Joel?”
Your question pulled Joel from his memories. He turned his head slightly, meeting your gaze from where you were huddled up in the corner of the couch. You looked cozy, but he knew you weren’t. The house was cold this morning, outside a thin layer of frost had stuck to the grass during the night. It was early too, the sun not having climbed high enough yet to peek over the mountains. You looked tired where you sat, clad in a wool sweater with a blanket pulled over your knees. Under the blanket Joel remembered you were still wearing your pajama pants, and in your hand you held a steaming cup of tea, peppermint, Joel knew, his own cup abandoned on the coffee table.
“What?” Joel answered, eyebrows furrowed.
“Do you have any mittens, Joel?” you repeated softly, like the way people tended to speak in the mornings, like they were afraid they’d wake up the world.
His calves were starting to burn from the strain of being crouched in front of the fireplace for a moment too long, and he tried his best to hide his groan, biting his teeth together as he stood to his feet, knees cracking loudly.
“Um, no,” he said, confused about your question.
“I’ll knit you a pair then,” you smiled before putting your cup down next to his.
“That’s… that ain’t necessary,” Joel hurried, but you waved him off.
“Sure it is,” you smiled again, much to Joel’s annoyance. He didn’t deserve your kindness, but you gave it away like it cost nothing. “If you’re gonna be helping Arthur out in the woods this winter, you need some mittens.”
Joel watched as you got up from your home on the couch and vanished into your bedroom. A moment later you appeared in the doorway with a basket under your arm.
“Also…” you gave him another smile as you sat back down again, placing the basket in your lap. It was close to overflowing with yarn, balls of black and white in varying sizes peeking over the top, the homespun ends fraying against the rough edges of the basket. “I’ll have something to do during the evenings,” you winked before you rummaged through the basket and fished out a measuring tape.
Joel shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he watched you. Mittens? Joel can’t remember if he’s ever owned a pair of mittens. Gloves, sure, but mittens?
You patted the cushion next to you, urging him to sit down, kind smile hanging off your lips like always. Sitting down, he folded his hands in his lap, suddenly very aware of how close you were sitting. It wasn’t like he hadn’t sat next to you before; he’d been here a few weeks now, and he was starting to know you, but for some reason, this felt different. Maybe it was the early morning, the quiet house, or the fact that Alma and Arthur were still sleeping upstairs, but it felt like it was just the two of you, alone, and Joel didn’t know how to feel about it.
You shifted towards him, the blanket slipping slightly off the couch with your movement, in your hands you held the measuring tape while you looked at him expectantly.
When Joel didn’t move, a smile quirked at the corner of your mouth before you grabbed one of his hands resting in his lap. You uncurled his fingers slowly, one by one, making Joel hold his breath.
“I need to see how big I need to make them,” you whispered, holding his hand very gently.
Joel’s heart hammered in his chest. Your hand was warm and soft, like the last time he’d touched you as you’d introduced yourself to him. Joel didn’t dare look at your face, or he’d say something stupid, so he didn’t. He looked at your joined hands, his brain trying to remember the last time someone had held his hand as gently as you did, your thumb running over the back of it soothingly.
He can’t remember. His hands are always empty.
With your other hand, a finger curled around the measuring tape, you slipped it around his wrist before leaning closer to look at the numbers.
“Is this too tight you think, or do you want them to be looser?” You asked through your lashes, eyes sparkling in the low morning light.
Joel cleared his throat, “No, that’s fine.”
“Okay,” you nodded, slipping the measuring tape from his wrist to write down the measurement. He hadn’t noticed your notebook until now. It was a little rough around the edges from use, the spined cracked and the paper a little yellow. Placing the pen in the seam, you grabbed the measuring tape again.
Loosening your grip on his hand you placed it over the thick of your thigh. Joel drew a quick breath, his heartbeat hammering in his ears, under his hand he could feel the warmth of you through the soft flannel.
You continued taking your measurements. You didn’t say anything, so neither did Joel, but you looked up at him through your lashes sometimes, and Joel thought that maybe the most useful thing one can do with empty hands, is hold on.
The creak of the stair made Joel jump, and like he’d been burned his hand retracted on reflex, as Arthur’s heavy steps got closer.
“Morning,” Arthur greeted as he ducked his head through the door to the living room.
“Mornin’,” Joel mumbled, head lowered as he gathered his hands in his lap.
“Good morning!” you smiled, always with that kind smile, “Did you sleep well, Arthur?” you got up from your seat before grabbing your teacup to follow Arthur into the kitchen, leaving the yarn and Joel.
Taking a deep breath, Joel pinched the top of his nose. He needed to get it together. You were just being your regular kind self; your soft touch was nothing more than that. Standing to his feet, Joel grabbed his own cup, trudging into the kitchen.
In the kitchen Arthur sat in his usual spot at the dining table, the chair closest to the window. “I need to get on with this barn soon,” Joel heard him say as he sat down opposite him. “It’s gonna fall apart come spring if we get as much snow as we did last year.”
Joel tried his best not to look at you as he heard you hum. You were stood at the kitchen counter slicing the bread Alma had baked yesterday, readying breakfast. Instead, Joel opted to gaze down into his teacup, where the peppermint leaves had all gathered at the bottom.
“Um,” Joel cleared his throat, “what needs fixin’?”
“What doesn’t need fixing in that barn?” Arthur sighed, peeling his eyes from out the window to Joel.
“I can uh,” Joel eyes shifted quickly to you before he cleared his throat again, “I can take a look at it, if ya want?”
Arthur’s eyebrows met in a furrow as he looked at Joel.
“I used to be a contractor,” Joel explained with a shrug, before taking a last cold sip of his tea.
“So, you know a thing or two about buildings I reckon?” Arthur asked.
“Yeah, well I used to,” Joel leaned back in his chair.
“Well, that would be very helpful Joel– I’d appreciated it!” Arthur smiled before leaning back in his chair making room for you as you started setting the table. Joel gave him a short nod in return, trying to fight the urge to look at you as you placed the food on the table.
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Arthur had downplayed the state of the barn – it was a mess – it was dangerous, and had Joel told him as much. But it was nothing Joel couldn’t fix, as long as he had the right supplies, fortunately for him the forest would provide them with what they needed.
Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
The axe dug a deep wound into the bark with every swing. Joel’s breath was heavy, and his arms ached, but it was a welcomed form of tiredness. A month into it, he was starting to get used to the work. There was something so satisfying about manual labor, of using his hands, of making something – he’d almost forgotten.
The routine of the work felt good. Waking up at dawn, then breakfast, he could use his body for something useful for the first time in twenty years and end the day with a warm meal for supper. This new temporary life was simple, but it was strangely normal.
Originally, Joel was only helping Arthur out in the woods for firewood through the winter– but now with the barn, they’d changed course. The last few days they’d started to become more selective with the trees; looking for the tallest and straightest ones that would fall safely.
A frozen sky hovered over the men as they worked. This morning when Joel had woken up, the thinnest layer of snow had fallen like powdered sugar during the night, turning the world bright with winter. Earlier in the week the frost had perched on the farm, and Joel had known winter was closing in. He’d lost count of the days and months passing while on his own, but Arthur had told him it was late October.
“It will start snowing properly soon,” Arthur said, breaking the silence between them.
Joel hummed before taking a bite of his packed lunch. They’d worked all morning – Joel felling the trees and Arthur cleaning them up and removing the branches. Now they were sat on a fresh tree stump each, their first break of the day.
“I have an old logging sled in the barn– used to be my father’s,” Arthur explained, “I think we should leave the trees here until the snow gets deep enough for the sled and have the horses pull them back to the farm.”
“Fine by me,” Joel took another bite of his lunch.
“The logs will have to dry out over the winter,” Arthur mused, “Then come spring we can start the repairs on the barn.”
Spring. If everything goes according to plan, Joel won’t be here come spring. He needed to find Tommy– he couldn’t, and he wasn’t gonna stay on the farm for any longer than necessary. He’d already decided– when the snow finally started to melt, Joel was gone.
Joel hummed, a non-committed answer. It was easier that way, to not get Arthur’s hopes up. He liked Arthur, he was a good man, a hard worker even in his old age, and silent when Joel wanted him to be. Joel liked Alma too, but her age shined through more easily than Arthur’s. Joel couldn’t help but notice her repeating herself more often and forgetting where she put things. It made life harder for you, Joel could see it. Your responsibilities were already a lot to handle as you took care of the animals mostly by yourself, but as Joel had discovered Alma starting to struggle with the housework, he’d noticed you starting to help her more often. In Joel’s mind it was unfair to you, but it wasn’t like he could blame Alma for growing older, in this world it was a feat.
Still, he’d try his best to help you when he could, like doing the dishes after dinner as you dried them off and put them away. The first few times you were both quiet, it was strangely intimate, only the sound of splashing water filling the space between you. One night he'd gotten brave, breaking the comfortable silence and asked you ‘What you thinkin’ about, sweetheart?’ You’d looked at him with big eyes, searching his own for something, but before he could figure out what it was, you’d answered him with a shrug. It was unlike you, unlike you to be this silent, but Joel didn’t push. The next night the silence persisted, and he’d thought adding ‘Sweetheart’ had been too much, but then the next night you’d sighed quietly and whispered, “I’m worried about Alma.”
Looking down at the mittens in his lap, the guilt gnawed at him. The look of worry in your eyes, Arthur’s hopeful wishes, and Alma’s aging. Joel couldn’t have anything tying him to this place. He was supposed to find his brother.
Suddenly, a black and orange butterfly landed on Joel’s knee. Joel stopped breathing, body going rigid as he tried not to move. How the hell was this butterfly still alive? It sat quiet on his knee, wings slowly retracting and widening behind it. Memories pushed its way to the forefront of Joel’s mind then.
Sarah. Another year had gone by, and the thought made his chest tighten.
“That’s quite a sight at this time of year,” he heard Arthur say, “Beautiful, aren’t they?”
“Y-yeah,” Joel stammered out an answer, afraid his voice would scare it away.
The longer Joel watched the butterfly he found his guilt started to slowly melt away. It’s okay, dad. It was like the rustling of the trees carried her voice with them. You’re on the right path.
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“I can do that f’you want, sweetheart.”
Joel’s boots creaked under him as he walked across the barnyard. You looked up at the sound of his voice, smile blossoming across your face as you tightened your grip on the shovel.
“It’s alright,” you said with a grunt as you picked up more snow, adding it to the growing pile, “Good for me to get some physical work in.”
Joel nodded as you straightened up, hand going to your hip while the other leaned on the shovel, your heavy breath curled in small plumes out of your mouth. You took him in for a second, eyes flickering over his form before they fell on the rabbits hanging over Joel’s shoulder.
“Where’d you get those?” you asked, and Joel shrugged.
“Shot ‘em,” he said simply, “they walked right by me as I was choppin’– seemed too good to pass up.”
“Not for the rabbits,” you muttered, and Joel had to fight the urge to smile.
“You a vegetarian or somethin’?” he asked with a single raised eyebrow, and you waved him off.
“No,” you said pointedly, but a teasing lilt lingered, “Just stating a fact... we don’t eat a lot of rabbit around here, is all.”
Joel nodded slightly; it made sense. He knew there was a gun in the house, but it was a revolver– too small to do any real hunting, and Joel didn’t even know if there were bullets for it. So, Joel didn't ask further. Lucky for him, you did.
“So, you just shot those?” you asked, a frown pulling at your eyebrows, “Aren’t they fast?”
Joel made a nonchalant sort of face. “Ain’t that hard when you can aim straight.”
“Well, how do you aim straight?”
“You learn to shoot.”
You let out a small laugh, one that pulled at Joel’s lips. “And how did you go about learning that?”
Joel felt his smile drop, the leather strap of his shotgun weighing heavy on his shoulder, “Practice.”
You didn’t seem to notice the change in his demeanor as you dug the shovel into the snow, so it stood by itself like a watchman. “Can you teach me?” you asked, the snow creaking under your shoes as you took a few steps closer.
His lips pulled at the corner, “No.”
Your eyes widened with disappointment, eyebrows pulling together in a frown as you asked, “Why?”
“Nothin’ good ever comes from it,” Joel shrugged.
“Okay,” you huffed a laugh, “that’s sinister.” Then you narrowed your eyes at him, gearing up for an argument no doubt with the way you rested your hand on your hip. “What if I also wanted to go hunting?” you posed, and Joel shook his head.
“That ain’t happenin’, sweetheart.”
“Okay, but now you’ve brought us rabbits��� and what if I end up really liking rabbit?” you bit down on your bottom lip, unconsciously showing off you own rabbit teeth.
Cute.
“Then I’ll shoot as many rabbits as you want,” Joel countered with a teasing smile before tightening his hold on the rope slung over his other shoulder (the one he’d tied the rabbits to), and walked towards the kitchen door at the back of the farmhouse.
He heard you huff in defeat behind him, your creaky steps following him up the stairs and inside. Walking into the kitchen Joel placed the rabbits on the table before he pulled at his mittens, stripped off his jacket, and hung it neatly over the back of one of the dining chairs. Grabbing one of the rabbits he brought it to the kitchen counter to start dressing it, fighting the urge to turn his head as he heard you enter the room.
“Come on, Joel,” you whined, “Why won’t you teach me?”
“Told you already,” Joel replied, “Nothin’ good comes from learnin’ to shoot things.”
Shifting the rabbit around on the counter he reached for the butcher knife in the knife block.
“You know, that’s a really stupid way of saying you don’t want to spend the time,” you told him, your voice closer now as you leaned against the kitchen counter.  
“When exactly did ya hear me sayin’ I don't wanna spend time with you?” Joel asked, his eyebrows pulled together in a frown.
“You won’t teach me to shoot,” you teased, and Joel could hear the smile in your voice.
Joel huffed out a laugh, “Damn right I won’t.”  
He heard you let out a whiney huff, before you turned on your heel, muttering out a curse under your breath when you accidently bumped your hip into the counter and Joel couldn’t help the smile teasing at his lips. You sat down with an overdramatic sigh, and Joel still didn’t look at you – he knew he’d cave eventually if he did, say yes against his better judgement – so he kept his eyes on the knife in his hand.
“How’s Arthur?” Joel asked as he worked.
“I don’t know,” you sighed, “The same I think– Alma was up there looking after him last time I checked.”
This time Joel allowed himself to look at you. You sat sideways on the wooden chair, legs crossed and tucked under your chair with your head hanging, eyes glued to your lap. Gone were the teasing, and gone were the smiles.
“He’ll be fine,” Joel said, his eyes back on the rabbit, “it’s just a cold.”
“Yeah… but he’s been getting sick a lot more often,” your voice was low, like you didn’t want them to hear you upstairs, “you can’t help but think the worst you know?”
Joel put the knife down and moved over to the sink. He quickly washed his hands before grabbing a towel to dry off, twisting it in his hands as he approached you. Placing the towel on the counter, he hesitated for a moment as he watched you, watched the way you twisted your hands in your lap with no sense of purpose or intent. It was like the worry dripped down your body. Pushing off the counter Joel knelt in front of you, a grunt escaped him as his knees clicked loudly, his balance slightly off on his haunches.
“Shit,” Joel huffed out a laugh, and you followed. Your palms landed on his knees to keep him steady, warmth spreading like jolting electricity.
“Sweetheart, I’ll tell you what–” he stopped himself when you looked at him through your lashes, trying to ignore the way your eyes focused on his mouth as he spoke. “’s just a cold, he’ll be up ‘n walkin’ tomorrow– man’s got gumption.”
“Yeah?” your eyes flickered upwards, meeting his.
Suddenly, under your gaze Joel felt brave. His hand moved on its own accord, cupping your cheek in his hand. He let his thumb ghost over your skin, still cold under his fingertips from being outside, but warming under his touch.
“Yeah, sweetheart.”
You didn’t say anything for a moment, you only watched him with glimmering eyes, like you were under a spell. Maybe he was too.
“Still,” you sighed, “Would be better if I could pick up more of the slack around here... Arthur does a lot, and I wish I could do more to support them.”
“Like what? You take care of the animals all by yourself– that’s more than enough.”
“Well, I could learn to shoot rabbits,” you told him, before the corners of your mouth pulled into a pleased smirk as he rolled his eyes at you.
Reluctantly, he pulled his hand away, making a move to stand when you grabbed his wrist, stopping him.
“I’m kidding, Joel,” you smiled, before a more serious look washed over your features. “I mean it’s… It’s gonna be empty here without you,” you said, “I’m starting to really like having you here, Joel.”
Joel turned his hand to rest the back of it on your thigh, your hand fitting in his.
“I uh,” his eyes fixated on your joined hands, then he cleared his throat, “I’ll stay as long as you need me to. I’m not leavin’ you alone, sweetheart.”
Your eyes lit up at his words, smile growing large across your face. Joel’s heart drummed in his chest as your eyes flickered down to his mouth again.
“Thank you,” you said in a low voice, and then you did something Joel thought was gonna make his heart stop beating. You leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. It bloomed against his skin, and made wings flutter against the walls of his stomach.
“You’re a good man, Joel Miller,” you whispered before you pulled away, looking at him with kindness in your eyes.
If only you knew, Joel thought, if only you knew the blood on his hands.
He couldn’t look at you when you looked at him like that. Like you believed your own words. So, he cleared his throat awkwardly and stood to his feet, his knees clicking as your hand slipped from his movement. He walked back to the counter, fingers grabbing the towel with no other purpose than to calm himself down.
After placing the towel back where it usually hung, he grabbed the knife again, turning his attention back to the rabbit, allowing himself to steal a few glances at you where you sat looking out the kitchen window.
“Hey, uh,” Joel broke the growing silence after a few minutes, “how ‘bout rabbit stew for lunch?”
Your head snapped to look at him as he spoke, a smile ghosting over your lips as you said, “I’ll go get some vegetables from the cellar.”
Joel wouldn’t necessarily call himself a good cook – he wouldn’t even call himself a cook in the first place. Back before the outbreak he’d been forced to learn the basics as a fresh single dad, but he’d never been able to provide Sarah with gourmet meals very often, and when Sarah had gotten older, he’d been embarrassed to say that her food was always better than his – eggshells and all. One summer he’d bought himself a nice grill– one of those way too expensive gas grills with too many fancy accessories for Joel to regularly use. He’d had a job that ended up paying well, some rich guy’s mansion that needed renovating, and decided to treat himself for once. That summer all their meals had come from that grill, well mostly, and afterwards Joel looked at himself as a pretty good griller, if nothing else.
You on the other hand, you knew what you were doing, it was clear in the effortlessly way you moved beside him as you got the vegetables ready for the stew. Joel seared the meat to the best of his abilities, making sure it was properly browned on both sides before setting it aside. After that, it was clear that you were in charge, and Joel let you boss him around and tell him what to do. It made his heart warm around the edges, watching how you put so much love and care into everything you did.
An hour later you finally sat down to eat; two hearty bowls of stew each as light snowflakes covered the world outside. You’d let the pot simmer on low over the heat as you’d wanted to bring up a bowl for Arthur and Alma later.
“So…” you started, watching as Joel dug into his bowl, “How’s the stew?”
“’s good!” Joel nodded through a mouthful, and he wasn’t lying. It was good, really good in fact.
“Yeah?” you bubbled through a smile, before you dug into your own bowl to see if he’d spoken the truth. He watched as you face brightened as you chewed, nodding your head to confirm his verdict.
“I think I really like rabbit, Joel,” you said through a teasing smile, and Joel couldn’t fight the chuckle from spilling.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, teasing smile not going anywhere, “So… when are you teaching me to shoot?”
“Shut up.”
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The living room was quiet, safe for the cracking of the fire. It had almost died out when Joel had stepped out of his room. He’d been twisting and turning again, counting sheep, but nothing had been able to pull him under the blanket of sleep. He was plumb tired too, that was the worst part. The embers hummed with a low light, and with a small stick Joel had spread them out before placing a small piece of wood on top. No less than a minute later the fire fed on the log.
Taking a seat and leaning back in the lounge chair, Joel looked out the window with tired eyes. The moon looked down on him, big and bright, it shone its white light over the barnyard like a spotlight. His thoughts were clouded over as he gazed up. A billion little lights turning into bright spheres in the sky.
On nights like this, Joel felt like he was barely breathing at all.
His thoughts didn’t stray for long before they found you again. Lately, you were always on his mind. He thought about how you’d looked mere hours ago, when he’d sat in this same exact chair, only this time it was facing towards the sofa and not the window.
You’d been sat curled up in the corner, blanket thrown over your lap with a book in hand. You’d told him you’d read all the books in the house already, but it didn’t stop you from coming back to your favorites. Joel had been reading his own book, an old western he’d found in the bookshelf in the upstairs hallway a few days ago. It was entertaining, but not enough to hold his attention. He found his eyes had a mind of their own, slipping over the top to steal a peek at you as you read, feeling a smile tug at his lips at the barely there furrow of concentration between your eyebrows.
“Joel.”
Joel perked up at the whisper of his name, the memories fading like ripples in still water. He looked around the room –nothing. He sat quietly in his chair for a moment, listening, as his heartbeat quickened in his chest. It had been your voice, hadn’t it? Or was he starting to lose it? His eyes fell to the door of your bedroom. He hadn’t noticed it until now, but he could see it was slightly ajar.
“Joel.”
The voice was louder this time, almost strained, but it was yours. A thousand scenarios flashed before his eyes then at your tone. Was there someone in your room? Were you in danger? Seconds later Joel crossed the room, a mix of fear and protectiveness overcoming him.
Leaning up against your door he listened for the intruder as he readied himself. The soft crinkling of your sheets combined with your strained whimpers was all it took for him to push the door open, fearing the worst.
And…
It was empty, your room, you were alone. Joel immediately felt stupid– the only intruder here was him.
He was about to step out, embarrassed at his actions, when he heard it again, his name falling from your lips. It was all Joel needed to finally take in your body, squirming under your sheets, still asleep. The realization of what he’d just walked in on made Joel’s eyes widen.
Laying on your back, the duvet had slipped down your torso from your movements to reveal the thin t-shirt you wore to bed. Like this he could see your perked nipples through the fabric, as your chest quickly rose and fell, making Joel’s imagination start to run wild.
“Joel.”
In his pajama pants, Joel could feel his cock come alive from the soft whimper that left your lips along with his name. He couldn’t move, like some farm elf had glued his feet to the floor while he wasn’t looking. He watched as you scrunched your face together in pleasure, another whimper falling from your lips, and all the blood in Joel’s body rushed down south.
As if the soundwaves from your voice had broken against him, he took a step backwards, and then another, and another until he crossed the threshold of your door. He tried his best to be quiet, to not wake you and have you catch him in your room in the middle of the night.
The image of you squirming under your sheets, dreaming of him, didn’t leave him as he closed the door to his own room. With a sigh his head fell against the door, a strong hand gliding down his front to hover over his aching cock.
Joel Miller was no saint, but what he was doing– what he was about to do, was bad.
“Shit,” he quietly hissed, running his hand up his clothed cock. He hadn’t touched himself properly in a long time, not since he left Boston.
His cock reacted to his touch, growing harder and harder until he couldn’t take it anymore. He hooked his finger around the hem of his pajama pants, pulling them down to the thick of his thigh, freeing himself. He hissed at the cold air hitting his length, as it bopped with the movement of being freed. Bringing his hand to his mouth, Joel spat, before he wrapped his spit-soaked hand around himself.
His mind found you again as he started stroking himself, slowly at first, pumping himself with a practiced hand, squeezing himself at the base before bringing his hand up to thumb at the tip. Joel couldn’t get the way you sounded out of his mind. Couldn’t forget how you were squirming in your bed, dreaming of him. Couldn’t shake the thought of pulling those moans and whimpers from you with his hands, and his mouth, and with his cock.
“Fuck.”
Joel tried to be quiet, but he couldn’t fight the moan from slipping from his lips. Fuck, he wanted you. He wanted his hands all over you. Closing his eyes his mouth dropped open as he imagined what he was dying to do to you.
How much he’d wanted to help you out of your t-shirt, run his hands over your breasts and tease your nipples. Take his time to pull those moans and whimpers from your soft lips as he teased you with kisses down your body, down the valley of your breasts, your tummy, down to you to your–
Another low moan fell from Joel’s lips. He squeezed himself tighter as he jerked himself off, precum pearling at the tip, and slipping down his length, mixing with his spit.
The sound of the slick rhythm of his hand filled his bedroom as he increased the pace of his strokes. He had to bite down on his lip to strangle a groan when thoughts of getting between your legs, spreading them open and getting his mouth on you filled his head. He fantasized about how you’d taste falling apart on his tongue–Fuck, how you’d sound falling apart around his cock.
His eyes fell shut as he fisted himself faster. Joel could feel his orgasm quickly building, coiling tight in his tummy. With his free hand he cupped his balls, and then he couldn’t help but imagine it was you, a picture of you on your knees before him flashed behind his eyelids, your tongue lapping at his balls while your hand pumped his cock.
“Shit.”
With a strained groan, thick ropes of cum spilled over his knuckles and down his length, coating him in his release. His breath came out ragged, as he continued his strokes, milking himself of the rest of his release.
Fuck.
His cock softened in his hand as he calmed down from his high. With a quiet groan he pushed himself off the door, looking around his room for something to clean himself up with.
The guilt of what he’d done washed over him quickly, settling in his chest like a heavy weight. You were so young, and beautiful, and Joel just an old man. He shouldn’t want you like this, shouldn’t want you this much.
Climbing under the covers, Joel couldn’t shake his thoughts of you, of you dreaming about him in your bed, about your smiles, and your touch. A supercut of you rolling like a tape in his minds eye. A supercut of you bundled up under a blanket on the sofa, knitting him his mittens. Of you, your own knitted hat pulled tightly down over your ears as you stepped out into the snow to check on the animals. Of the way you’d looked at him for the first time, with the bucket of apples under your arm, and the sweet taste of them as you’d offered him one later, after dinner.
Finally, Joel could breathe.
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i hope someone liked this? if you did a comment, reply or an ask is always welcome and they make me super happy <3 other than that thank you for reading!!
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angel-of-the-moons · 8 months
Note
Need Steven with a freak. Let’s say he’s been dating this girl for a while and he’s ready to take it to the next step. He’s super worried he’ll make you all uncomfortable and stuff when he asks but the next thing he know he’s being ridden till the break of dawn
(I’m ovulating I am so sorry-)
OMG SAMESIES AND I. AM. ✨FERAL✨ RN
Please
Steven Grant x Fem!Reader
TW/CW: Smut, just smut af, protected sex (implant), oral sex (m!receiving) creampie, overstimulation
MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME
A/N: This lil dress here is what I had in mind for the outfit in the start. (I'm a sucker for sunflower patterns)
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🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒🌒
It had to be tonight. He just couldn't take it anymore. None of them could.
But Steven was the worst about his urges. He felt awkward and worried it would chase you away, the first girlfriend he ever got to finally have; all the others didn't understand his... Problems.
Problems he later learned were triggered by Marc (and in some cases, Jake), but you? You took them in stride, like a duck to water.
The moment he first saw you, his breath had been sucked right out of him. Marc and Jake went dead silent, too.
It was a gloomy, dreary day; the rain coming down in heavy droplets, casting a grim light down on the London streets.
But there you were, walking around the museum, looking at exhibits and scribbling notes in your tiny notebook with oh, so many post-its sticking out, fattening the tiny book until it looked close to bursting.
You were the only ray of sunshine on that day, your yellow dress that hugged your body just right, little sunflowers covering the fabric. Your hair done just the right way to accentuate your face as your eyes studied each artifact and bauble you saw.
To say the boys were instantly smitten was an understatement.
It took weeks of bumping into you to work up the courage to talk to you, and it was only when you came in to buy a rather dinky looking scarab plushie in the gift shop. It's this conversation where he finds out you're in school, trying to become an archaeologist and historian.
Steven's dream girl, and he had hearts in his eyes at every word you spoke.
He couldn't help but blubber out a request for a date, and you agreed.
The rest... History in the making.
You'd been dating for two months, but already he could feel the pull of urges he didn't necessarily indulge in often.
Sure, he, Marc and Jake could indulge in it themselves, trying to take the edge off. But sometimes it felt like the more he indulged in it, the more intense his fantasies got.
He simply couldn't keep tugging his cock for momentary relief anymore, imagining it was your soft hand, your mouth, your tits or something else wrapped around his cock that had him practically drooling: your sweet cunt.
But tonight? Tonight was the night. He was afraid to bring it up because he didn't want you to feel like he was moving too fast; and he could barely function when you admitted you were a little surprised he waited so long. (And teased him a little for how sometimes he just wasn't stealthy when trying to conceal a surprise boner.)
You'd told him that you thought about him too, and that you were more than willing to let him indulge.
But it was from there that you found out that Steven had never actually been intimate with anyone. Jake and Marc had, yes. But poor Steven has just never had the luck.
And that's how Steven found himself in this precarious situation, you on your knees, your pretty little mouth wrapped around his cock as you bobbed your head so sweetly, tongue laving around his length, hollowing and sucking your cheeks with every drag, tracing the vein that ran up the side of him.
He couldn't stop with the babbling praises, the sweet petting in your hair.
Honestly, if you knew he was this weak? You'd have jumped his bones a lot sooner. Probably after the fourth or fifth date. It was rare you found someone who was intellectually a joy to talk to (not excluding Marc and Jake) who was so handsome and sweet to you.
One hand was thrust down into your panties, playing with yourself, dress hiked up so you could have better access as you continue sucking him off, the lewd sounds coming from both of you more suited to a pornography than the quiet air of his flat.
You could feel your orgasm cresting already, but you knew that you didn't want to just cum on your fingers like you had so many times before, you wanted to feel Steven inside of you and god did you want to drain him for everything he had.
Steven made a whine, babbling your name again.
"L-luv, I'm--I'm gonna--ugh--"
He couldn't even get the sentence out before you felt him spill down your throat, his hips bucking suddenly you gagged, carefully adjusting so you didn't choke as he pumped his load into your greedy mouth.
Well... you weren't surprised he didn't last very long...
He immediately started rattling off apologies that had you giggling.
God damn, you were going to enjoy draining him. Maybe Marc and Jake, too.
The blush that spread up to his ears made him look absolutely adorable.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--" He stammered out, covering his face. "In--in your mouth, I--"
With the fluid grace of a cat you climb into his lap, straddling him.
You cup his cheeks and kiss him softly, before pulling away.
"You're alright." You assure him, peppering his adorable face with kisses.
It's when he squeezes your thighs and ruts up into you, his face buried in your neck that you realize he's still hard.
You bite your lip and kiss his ear.
"Steven, do you want me to ride you?"
"Ohgodsyesplease." He breathes out on a whimper.
You hastily line his cock up with your hole and sink down, taking him in inch by delicious inch until you're stretched beautifully around him.
You tip your head back with a groan. He certainly had girth for days, that was for sure.
"I'm... Already close. Can you help me?" You say, giving him a sweet pout that makes his heart jump up into his throat.
"Y-yes, I can--"
The way he keeps cutting himself off makes you want to cuddle him and cover him with kisses, but at the same time fuck him until his legs go numb.
Maybe you'd do the former later.
You pull his fingers into your mouth and he makes a soft moan when you suck his fingers, swirling your tongue around his calloused digits until you deemed them wet enough.
Then, you guide his hand down your body to your throbbing clit, and show him the rhythm that'd work for you best.
"Try to keep it in time with me, m'kay?" You groan, grinding down on him in one slow, languid movement.
His eyes roll back, but he nods and keeps his fingers over your clit, massaging the bundle of nerves in time with each downward stroke of your hips.
Every bit of him had you aching, from his electric touches to his fat cock spearing you open and fucking your weeping pussy in the best way possible, you kicked yourself mentally again for not bringing up sex sooner.
Steven's cock felt far better inside of you than your fingers or your toys at home. He felt hot, he felt real. And real is what you'd been lacking lately.
Whatever Steven would give you, you planned on taking happily. You would--
Your eyes flutter open when Steven suddenly arches his back and hits you deeper than you expected him to; opening your mouth in a quiet cry, no sound escapes as your orgasm hits you and Steven continues swiping at your clit, fucking you from below as you shudder and collapse on top of him as he continues breathing on the hot embers of your orgasm to keep it going for as long as possible.
"Please." He whines in your ear.
"Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease."
"In-inside--" You whimper, biting down on his shoulder, earning a toe-curling moan from him.
"You can do it inside."
He grits his teeth and let's out a hissing cry, veins popping in his neck and forehead as he fucks his spend up into you, his orgasm burning and flaying his nerves raw as he pumps you full.
He drops back onto the cushions of the couch and sofa, breathing hard, desperately trying to drag oxygen back into his lungs.
Reality however, is a cruel mistress and he looks down at where you two were connected.
"Oh, b-bloody hell. I--I didn't--"
"Relax, hon." You giggle, leaning back with one hand braced on one of his knees for support, your other hand trailing lazily down to where his cock still split you open, his cum leaking out around his length. The sight of you sent a dizzying spiral through him.
"I'm safe, promise. I have an implant. Still good for another three years."
The thought that he could keep doing this for three years--
His mind went blank when you grind down on his lap, feeling his cock stir to life despite the fact he was now exhausted.
"L-luv, I... I don't think I can..." He panted desperately.
Your brace your hands on his chest and start bouncing on his lap, grinning wickedly the whole time.
"I'm gonna keep going until I drain you dry, sweetheart. Get comfortable."
The gulp he made was audible in the space you shared, as was the sinful slap of skin on skin.
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