#i guess because it's just old and i don't feel that attached to it anymore?

[void-thevoid]

wld u mind starting to use an art tag? I'd love to see all ur art and it's difficult when it's scattered about

oh- i've actually been forgetting to use my art tag... thanks for the reminder!

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Hiya! It's me! I've been sending you so many asks that I wouldn't be surprised if you gave me a restraining order!

I made an account so I can actually participate in some of your rp things- if that's okay with you of course.

I sent you the ideas for the succubus, deadpool x wolverine and bimbo!au's, I sent others but I'd need to go through my memory, which would take all night.

Anyway- I have a new au idea for you! I think you'll like this. It's basically a gothic vampire!au.

I'm going to attach screen shots because I've already written it out and for some reason Tumblr doesn't let you copy and paste (it's already 1am where I am and I don't want to have to write this out all again, so I'm really sorry if this'll be annoying for you 😭).

Continuation--

Adam: it's rude to stare, you know. How did a kid get in here?

Lucifer jumped at his voice: I-I'm not a kid!- I'm 30 years old!

Adam: really dude? What are you? 5"3?... you didn't get the long straw when it came to genes, huh? See what I did there?

Lucifer sighs as the man chuckles to himself.

Lucifer: uh... that's... not important- a-are you the owner?

Adam stares at Lucifer for a few seconds before taking a sip from his glass. Lucifer watches his every move, he feels like prey- are those fangs??

Adam: I guess you can say that.. my names Adam. Even though I think the asshole who broke into my house should introduce themselves first- but I'm in a good mood today!

Adam stands and pulls a chair infront of him.

Adam: Here man, have a seat, might as well make yourself comfortable.

The way Adam smiled and watched his every move made Luicfer shiver. He walked as calmy as he could to the chair infront of Adam. He sits, eyes never leaving Adams deep red ones.

Lucifer: I'm Lucifer- and I apologize for the breaking and entering. It's uh, not the best first impression.

Adam: wait- Lucifer? Like the Devil? That's sick. And I'm not one for first impressions, but you've certainly made an entrance, buddy.

Lucifer: Yeah, like the Devil, blame my father for that one-

Adam: I ain't judging man! I think it's cool, everyone has such boring names these days, it's nice to be surprised, nothing surprises me much anymore.

Adam runs his clawed hand through his hair, eyes never leaving Lucifers face. He notices as his eyes travel down to his chest, where his shirt has opened a bit more. Adam smirks, leaning forward, giving Lucifer a better view.

Adam: I would offer you a drink, but I think you want something else~

----

That's all I have! I hope this seems interesting to you 😭

Feel free to continue it, I'll try and participate to! It would be my first time doing these rp type things, so I'm sorry if I'm a bit all over the place lol

Okay- bye!

Ahhh!! Thank you for all your amazing ideas friendo! This too is amazing 🤩

And yes of course you can participate in the rp blogs! What account is it?

-

Lucifer felt a little called out, this man was so good looking he felt like he was trapped in a trance.

Lucifer: I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-

Adam: Pfft it's fine, I get it. I know I'm hot shit and I don't mind you looking. In fact.

Adam leaned in closer until his hot breath ghosted over Lucifer's face.

Adam: I wouldn't mind you doing more than just looking.

He grinned at the way the blonde man's face turned bright red at the implication. Humans were always so easy to work up. And man this one was easy on the eyes as well.

It's been a while since Adam had a visitor. Even longer since he had a rendezvous.

[anonymous-dentist]

Day Six - Hybrids | Cuddling

-

Roier finds out that Cellbit is a cat hybrid literal seconds after finding out that Cellbit used to be a serial killer, because, apparently, those two things are the most important secrets in Cellbit's life.

Cellbit's cute little straw hat is off for the first time all day, and his hair sticks to his forehead- sweaty from a day of partying with everybody else at the Favela.

Roier's breath catches because right there in front of him for the very first time are two cat ears the same color as Cellbit's hair. They're ragged, torn in some places and nicked and with small chunks missing, and they twitch nervously- pressing themselves down towards Cellbit's skull- as Roier doesn't say anything.

Cellbit wrings his hat in his hands and pointedly looks anywhere but at Roier.

"It's just... hard, you know?" he quietly asks. "I'm not in prison anymore, but old habits die hard, I guess."

And, really, Roier should be more concerned about the fact that his fiancé is a literal serial killer. That is, objectively, really fucking concerning. Like, what if he relapses or something and starts murdering the shit out of everybody on the island starting with Roier himself? That's stuff he should be concerned about, right?

But, for whatever reason, all Roier can think of is the fact that, every time he and Cellbit have met up, Cellbit has had his goggles on.

"Hey," Roier softly says.

He reaches out for Cellbit's hands, freezes inches away, lets out a breath and properly takes them. The hat falls to the floor, settling on Roier's feet; the goggles attached to it bump against Roier's leg, ever-present.

Cellbit's breath catches, and his hands instinctively grip Roier's tightly. His ears perk up in surprise- absolutely adorable, what the fuck?

His voice is reverent: "Guapito..."

"Gatinho," Roier warmly replies. He smiles as Cellbit's eyes dart up to meet his; now that Roier knows to look, he notices the way Cellbit's pupils are less round than they should be and more, well... catlike. "Muy lindo..."

Cellbit flushes and tears his eyes away, ears flattening again.

"That's the problem," he says. "I'm not cute. I'm a killer."

"Sí." Roier nods seriously. "But you know what else?"

"What?"

"That's fine. You don't have to be cute. You can just be handsome. And sexy."

Cellbit cracks a small smile at that, face going even more red.

He's beautiful. Roier can't believe that he gets to marry him. His hands are rough, and he's covered in scars, and he has the sweetest smile, and he has cat ears that automatically swivel towards Roier every time he speaks.

With a quiet little 'mrrp'-ing noise, Cellbit lets his head fall forward onto Roier's shoulder. The tips of his ears graze Roier's cheek just momentarily, and they're so soft that Roier's mind goes blank outside of thoughts of Gatinho Gatinho Gatinho Gatinho.

Roier is brought back to reality by a weird little rumbling sound that he realizes is purring.

"Eu te amo," Cellbit murmurs, voice distorted by his purring.

He's just so easy with the verbal stuff, Roier doesn't know how he does it. Just thinking about telling Cellbit he loves him is enough to make Roier's heart stop and his blood boil and freeze and his face flush and his stomach fall out of his ass and his lungs explode. It shuts his brain down, but Cellbit? He's so good at it! (And he says he doesn't know how romance works, tsk tsk.)

Roier, unable to verbalize the billions and trillions of words flying around in his heart, just presses a hesitant kiss into the crown of Cellbit's head and hopes that it gets his affections across. It should, because Cellbit already knows Roier better than Roier might know himself, but-

A bashful kiss against the side of Roier's neck.

Roier swoons, just barely catching himself from melting into a gooey little puddle on the floor. He's gotta look goofy, he can feel how wide and ridiculous his smile is, but who the hell cares?

"Do you have a tail, too?" he hears himself asking, mind a million miles away. He can just picture himself and Cellbit kissing at the altar- their first ever real kiss ever- and just the thought of it makes his knees weak.

"Mhmm," Cellbit responds. He yawns against Roier's throat. "But you'll have to wait until our honeymoon for that."

Oh, God, the implications of that... Cellbit isn't into sex, and that's cool, but they'll be sharing a bed. A bed!!

The thought of finally getting to sleep with Cellbit (in the proper way, of course) makes Roier giddy enough to giggle into thin air.

"It's a date!" he happily says.

(A week later when they're finally in bed together for the first time, Roier spends a solid fifteen minutes properly admiring his husband(!!!)'s hybrid features for the first time, much to Cellbit's embarrassment.

"You're ridiculous," Cellbit whines, face hidden in his hands as Roier gently scratches him between the ears. He might sound annoyed, but he's purring, and his tail has already wrapped around both of Roier's legs, and he keeps dragging Roier's hand back every time he tries pulling away, so there.

"Maybe," Roier admits. He moves two of Cellbit's fingers away to kiss his forehead. "But you love me, anyway."

Cellbit doesn't argue, because he does.)

[matan4il]

Can't stop thinking about that poor French girl. Most of my friends didn't even have their periods at 12. We have been screaming ourselves HOARSE for months that "globalize the intifada" is going to come back to bite us...and now it's beginning to. They didn't listen to us then and they won't now. Instead, they let a child pay the price for the crime of being Jewish.

I remember back in early April I walked by a protest and I told a cop there what the phrase meant. She didn't even deign to look at me, instead she told me where I could counter-protest. That is not what I was asking about. No one is protecting us, yet they wonder why we feel safer and have an attachment to our home.

I haven't been able to visit home since the war started, I'll be there Sunday finally. And I can guarantee that I will be moving comfortable there, despite my half baked plan and no official place to stay.

I just don't know what we are supposed to be doing anymore. עד מתי??????

I can't stop thinking about that girl either.

I can't stop thinking about what it means that she knew she wasn't safe telling her boyfriend at the time that she's Jewish. I can't stop thinking about the fact that she was right, as he proved. I can't stop thinking about the kind of environment she grew up in, where she had grown so accustomed to antisemitic attitudes being the rule, that she didn't see that guy's antisemitism for the red flag that it is, and didn't stay away from him.

And I wanna make it clear, it is ABHORRENT that Jews should have to stop and consider just how much they're going to lose out on socially because of antisemitism. But it IS hard to constantly lose and miss out and be depraved of social rewards that others get just because you're Jewish, especially when you're 12 years old. So this responsibility lies on the hellish environments that push Jews to have to decide between being included and being safe.

That the specific way that this girl's abusers were violent with her for her Jewishness was sexual, committed by at least one person she intimately trusted, done as a group, and (from what I've gathered) in public, just makes the whole thing even worse, and I cannot stop grieving what was taken away from her, and what she will have to deal with for the rest of her life.

And I've heard from multiple sources that the perpetrators' phones had anti-Israel material on them. It was easy to guess, but it's still chilling to have that confirmed.

I am SO sorry that you had that experience of a cop not giving a damn about our safety as Jews. But yes, we absolutely cannot rely on anyone else for our protection, it's a part of why we need Israel. And there's only one place in the world where we can be safely and effortlessly ourselves as Jews. I'm so glad for you that you're coming home, and I also hope that if fellow Israelis see this, that maybe they can reach out and help, too.

אם יש כאן במקרה ישראלים, השמיעו קול!

As for what we can do, we can continue to live even when they don't want us to, we can go on supporting each other, we can thrive even when they think they've taken that option from us, we absolutely should educate ourselves continuously when our haters are relying on people's ignorance, and we must speak up where and how we can. Even if our reach is small, it's better than being silent. Not to mention, sometimes one person listening to you, if they're the right one, can make a much bigger difference than we could imagine.

I'm sending you lots of hugs and love! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[azulcrescent]

Aromanticism is a spectrum, and there are lots of ways to experience and view romance and non-romance. Personally, being grayaromantic, I know what romantic attraction feels like, since I did have a crush on someone once. It had all the hallmark traits of a crush: butterfly feelings in my stomach, thinking about them a lot, almost accidentally kissing them in front of everyone because I wanted to put my mouth on their mouth so badly…

And yet, now that it's been nearly 10 years since then, it's bizarre to me that I ever had those feelings at all. It's confusing to me that other people will just look at someone and feel that way, and have that be a recurring thing that happens to them all the time apparently? I have no idea how often people normally get new crushes, or how long it takes for old ones retire, since mine happened only the one time and it took me about 2 years before I was finally over it (we never dated, it was only ever a one-sided crush)

I have mistaken strong platonic feelings for romantic feelings before. But then I would compare it to the crush I had, and realize that it doesn't have any of the same desires attached to it. I feel happy and excited about having a new friend that I get to learn more about, potentially even bordering on queerplatonic feelings, but the idea of kissing them isn't something I'd go out of my way to try and get.

I do have to work pretty hard to maintain friendships, by regularly reaching out to people. Since a lot of people who have a partner get most of their socialization from being with their partner, they don't prioritize friendships in the same way that an aromantic person would. (Not saying that alloromantic people have less friends or that they don't care about them, just making a generalized statement about my observations in how allos and aros handle friendships)

I hope this helps!

That's very fascinating, thank you. I guess you have a point of reference for what romantic attraction feels like since it has happened before, but not since then. And that's a good point about how non-asexual people tend to get most of their socialization from their partners ahaha. whenever a friend in my friend group gets a partner we're like "ah, so they're not gonna show up for gaming anymore" haha.

Thanks again for sharing, and yes, it helps!

[blackmoonowl]

Prompt 37 with MacCready, please 😊

“You know, you can stay if you want to.”

Robert Joseph MacCready x reader

Summary: He's just lonely. Also a lil confession and a smooch because I will it.

1226 words

The cure of his son was found, and now he wasn't sure where to go from here.

When he first arrived, he thought it would be simple, find the cure and go back to the Capital wasteland to do god knows what. But now he wasn't so sure anymore. He was seated on the couch, within the comforts of your home. MacCready had gotten very familiar with the interior. It felt like home every time he stepped foot in.

That odd feeling in his chest crept up as he watched you prepare dinner; he hadn't felt it since Lucy was killed. It scared him, part of him felt bad, but he couldn't help but crave it like a drug.

"Is everything alright?" Your soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts, his heart skipping a beat. "You're zoning out." The mercenary pursed his lips at your words, forcing his gaze away from you.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just... glad Duncan's going to be alright. Those caravans are faster than I could ever hope to be on my own," MacCready replied, a small, emotional smile creeping on his face.

"I understand... I'm just glad everything went well," you tried to cheer him up, patting his shoulder. The sensation of your touch sent waves of warmth through his body; his heart audible in his ears.

"Thanks... just glad I met you when I did," he sighed as he looked back at you again. "Guess that means I have to go back to the Capital wasteland soon." That last part was spoken quietly as a small frown played on his lips.

You sat down next to him, your hand resting on his back. Half of MacCready wanted to tear himself away, to not get attached again. The other half wanted to cling to you like his life depended on it.

"Don't get me wrong, I wanna see Duncan again, more than anythin'. But... that means I gotta leave you behind. Unless you come with me." He hoped you would say yes, that you would drop everything here and come with him.

"You know I can't," you frowned, rubbing his back. MacCready let out a defeated sigh. It was wishful thinking, but it was worth a shot anyway. The two of you stayed silent before you spoke again.

"You're awfully desperate to stay close to me," you teased, trying to lighten the mood. Unbeknownst to you, MacCready felt like his head was about to turn cherry red.

"Well, I mean... I care about you, you're the only person I can trust. Listen... I.." he sighed before trailing off. It was all too much, the pain of losing Lucy only to feel that same feeling creep up his spine. With a slightly frustrated look on his face, he stood up and reached for a cigarette. "Forget it."

"Come on Mac, you can talk to me," you pressed as the young man lit the cigarette before taking puff from it. The mercenary paused, his fingers clutching the cigarette as smoke came from his mouth, contemplating his next words.

"I don't wanna part from you, ever." The words finally came out of him, his back turned towards you. "I lost too much already. You make everything feel a little more bearable. If I had to leave you behind, I'd go back to my old depressing life. I'd miss you like crazy."

With a small smile you got up, putting your hand on his shoulder. It caused him to tense, not daring to look back at you.

"Why don't you tell how you really feel?" You asked, gently squeezing his shoulder. MacCready choked on nothing, coughing slightly. He took a moment to collect himself before he spoke again.

"I want you," he spoke in a strained voice. "I wanna be with you until the day I drop dead." He finally glanced back at you, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Nothing would make me happier," you softly admitted as you laid your head against his back, causing him to sharply inhale. The two of you stood there for a moment before you spoke again.

“You know, you can stay if you want to.”

MacCready's eyes widened at that, turning his face to look at you. "Stay... here in the Commonwealth?" He inquired, leaning back slightly, wanting to relish in the physical contact.

"Yeah... once you get your son you could come back here. Sanctuary has enough place for you and your son," you elaborated with a hopeful smile. MacCready's mood lifted instantly as his eyes lit up.

"You mean that, I could stay here? Man... I don't know what to say. You've done too much for me already. But if that means I can stay close to you, then it's worth it." It took every ounce of his willpower not to reach out for you, feeling your touch so much more now.

"I want this, and I want you to stop feeling like you owe me." MacCready smiled even wider as he turned to face you. You opened your mouth to speak when he pulled you flush against his chest.

"Thanks again, this place is a lot better for Duncan anyway... and having you here, it's better for me as well." You reached up to cup his face, feeling the warmth under his skin. MacCready didn't pull away, instead leaning in closer.

"You have some real bad taste, going for a guy like me," MacCready grinned, showing his less than pristine teeth. "Guess I can't complain though." He gathered the rest of his courage to pull one more mouth. "Means I can do this," he mumbled as he leaned down, pecking your lips swiftly before pulling away. You blinked, taken off guard by the sudden action before mirroring his expression.

"If you're going to do that, at least be a man and make it last," you teased, pulling him closer with your hands gripping the lapels of his duster.

"Whatever you say boss," MacCready mumbled, all too happy to wrap his arms around you again and place another kiss on your lips, this time letting it linger, his eyes fluttering shut. When he pulled away, he was content to hold you close to him. The mercenary rested his head on your shoulder.

"You know..." he began again. "If I'm gonna be livin' here, I should get a say in how we decorate the place."

You let out a groan, leaning against him. "Oh please don't start that," you whined, burying your face against his neck.

"Oh come on, I got good tastes. How about that lime green and fuchsia? That'll really liven up the place," he teased, a small laugh escaping his lips as you gently smacked his back.

"You're awful," you grumbled as you pulled back, pouting at the man in front of you.

"I'm guessing that's a no to a zebra print couch then?" MacCready continued, his hands still holding your waist.

"I changed my mind, you're going back to the Capital wasteland," you huffed in faux annoyance. MacCready bust up laughing again, his thumbs stroking your sides idly.

"Uh uh, too late for that. I'm already hooked on the idea, you're stuck with me." He kissed your your forehead, too giddy to care about how sappy he was being.

"I'm okay with that," you replied softly, pulling him in for another embrace.

[takerfoxx]

Okay.

I don't often gush about movies on this blog. Hell, I don't often go to the movies anymore. I just don't have the attention span for it. And I honestly was going to give this one a miss until someone who's opinion I trust was adamant that I needed to see this film right now on the biggest screen possible while I still had the chance. So, FOMO out won over, and I went to go see Godzilla Minus One in Imax.

...

Look, I've been a Godzilla fan practically all my life. My family used to rent those old english dubs of the films on VHS from Blockbuster in the early nineties. I grew up with these monsters. But I have to admit, I've never seen the original, nor have I seen Shin Godzilla. To me, Godzilla is about one thing and one thing only.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Gimme the big monsters just going HAM on each other. Rubber suits, CGI, I don't care! I want the big boys with beef to beef with a large side of cheese!

I guess that's why Godzilla 2014 ultimately left me feeling kind of cold while I absolutely loved KOTM despite how stupid a lot of it was. I just want my big monsters absolutely wrecking shit.

This was different. I knew it was going to be different. A remake of the original Godzilla, this time from the viewpoint of the common citizens still trying to get their lives together after WW2? I knew I was in for some heavy drama.

What I didn't expect was one of the most amazing theater experience I have ever had.

And I'm not just saying that because the movie is good, even though it is.

I'm not just saying that because the movie is great, even though it is.

I'm not just saying that because it's a goddamn masterpiece, even though it is.

I'm saying that because it's about as close to perfect of a film as you can get, and not just of a Godzilla movie, but just as a movie!

Like, it's a running joke that you can cut the human characters out of any Godzilla movie. Here, you could cut Godzilla out and still have a great movie. That's how good the human side of things was.

Like, you really grow attached to these people who have literally lost everything. You grow invested in their struggles, in their relationships, in their baggage, in their love for one another. You come to care about them and are genuinely happy as they eke out a new life after having their homes literally blown to bits. You just want to see them succeed and be happy together.

And that's when Godzilla shows up.

This movie is called Godzilla Minus One in reference to how post-war Japan was basically a Zero Society, left devastated by the conflict. And these people who literally were left with nothing suddenly find even that ripped away as an enormous monster just starts rampaging through the recovering cities.

And this time, Godzilla isn't an avenging hero. He's not a destructive anti-hero. He's not a fun mascot. He's not even a poor, suffering monster unaware of the destruction that he's wreaking. This Godzilla is goddamn menace, an outright monster that is absolutely terrifying. He wants to crush, kill, and destroy. This is Godzilla at his most actively malicious, and all you can do is gape up in horror with these people that you've come to care so much about, wondering how in the hell are they supposed to deal with this!

I won't give away how the day is eventually saved, only to say that it is a masterclass of character-driven suspense and emotion. You honestly come to root for the humans for once. You want to see them succeed, and are genuinely in fear for their lives. No exaggeration, I had my heart in my throat and tears in my eyes all throughout the climax. I don't cry during movies, and this movie made me sob like a baby. It was that good.

And it also had so much to say! Not only about Japan's collective trauma following the nuclear bombs or the other bombing raids like the original, but also about how the Japanese government dehumanized its own people during the war, treating them as expendable resources to fuel the war machine. The main character is a freaking kamikaze pilot who lost his nerve and abandoned his mission, and that plus another act of what he saw as cowardice haunts him throughout the movie, and while it realistically shows how such a person would be treated like a pariah by his former friends and neighbors, it is nothing but sympathetic toward him. He blames himself constantly, but the narrative never seems to.

And there's just this wonderful moment near the end, when it's clear that the government isn't coming to the rescue, so it's up to the common man to band together and find a solution, when a few men leave the mission for fear of their lives and that of their families, and are not condemned for it. And the scientist spearheading the whole thing gives this lovely little speech about how carelessly life has been treated during the war, from the kamikazes to the poorly maintained supply chains to how the common folk were left to fend for themselves, and he hopes to just once be able to secure a win that doesn't sacrifice any more lives. Wow.

I know it's probably too late for anyone else to see it, because I'm pretty sure it's theatrical run ends today. I just wanted to get this review off my chest, because wow, this was the best movie I've seen all year. What a goddamn masterpiece.

[tuliplips]

I've been dating someone new recently, and its kind of strange.. I'm having fun but my previous situationship is still on my mind a lot. The new guy is so different to him, it's weird. I could never sleep with the person I was dating before, I would lay awake for hours... also I would cry every time I saw him. Even though he was kind and caring to me, I think he triggered something in me... like it was hitting me in a core wound. With the new guy I can sleep, and I never cry. He's very soft and kind and has an anxious attachment like me... which is new for me, I always date people with avoidant tendencies. It's such a different experience. Still a part of me longs for the old guy, it's like a hunkering, a wish for approval maybe. I don't even know if I like him anymore, but I felt so attached to him, so attracted. It felt like a whirlwind. And I thought while I was in it that he's secure and available.. until I guess...it wasn't so. That's the weird thing. He would always stare deep into my eyes. He had the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. He's a scorpio like me so.. you know what they say about scorpio eyes. The new guy is a really sweet and I feel so safe, but it's like that romantic feeling is lacking.. probably because I'm so used to being with unavailable people. Idk? It feels more like a friend that I feel so calm and safe with. But wow he is insane in bed. We have the freakiest sex!!! Sooo kinky. Which is amazing. The unavailable guy wasn't good in bed at all.. but it was romantic. it's weird!!! why is the available guy good in bed and the unavailable romantic?? it makes no sense. anyway sorry for being a boy freak. this is just the truth. I'm a sucker for love and sex. sue me. also. im confused lmao

[seospicybin]

ONE PROPOSITION.

Seungmin x reader. (s,f)

Synopsis: Not only you frown on love, you don't date nice guys and Seungmin is both a nice guy and don't want less than love. A proposition is offered to you to see if he can change your mind. (10,2k words)

Author's note: a fluffy smut for a change. Enjoy! :)

Love is patient, love is kind.

Pfft... more like love is slowly losing your mind.

Love makes it okay for people to dumb themselves down for someone else or do silly things in public and everyone would deem it romantic.

You don't do love anymore because it's nothing but a sack of vile and utter nonsense.

What you do is short-lived infatuation, physical attraction, one-night lovers then you're free to move on to the next one without any sort of attachment.

To put it simply, love gives you the stomachache. Love is just... yuck!

Also, it's easier that way, maybe you'll do love when you're old and bored or maybe...

"Let's go on a date!"

You don't expect this from the smartest student in class, Kim Seungmin.

You let out a dry laugh then pick up your bag from your chair, "sure, pick me up at 8?" You respond with a nonchalant shrug.

He doesn't seem to get the joke because he isn't laughing or responding to your words, he's just staring at you with his brown eyes.

Your laugh dies down instantly when you notice the serious face he puts on, "you're being serious?"

"I am," he shortly replies.

You scoff in a perplexed way then hoist your bag strap higher on your shoulder and start walking toward the exit, it's best to get out of this awkward scene.

When you think you're already losing him, you see him walking next to you and ask, "What do you think?"

"Think of what?"

"Going on a date with me?" He asks again.

You laugh again because it's the nicest response you can give to him, he's alright and he probably asked it for a social experiment or something.

"But why?"

He matches his pace to catch up with your half-jogging since you're going to be late for your part-time job at the bookstore.

"Because I like you," he simply answers like it's so obvious.

But you are so oblivious to it, you don't even know he's capable of having this kind of feeling. You always think of him as someone who knows nothing but being the smartest person in the room. You laugh again because you don't know how to properly respond to someone who admits that he likes you out of a blue.

"Seungmin, I can't play along. I'm going to be late for work," you tell him while keeps walking in the direction of the bus stop near campus.

"I can drive you there," he offers, taking the car keys out of his jacket and jiggling them in front of you.

You calculate it in your head, even after you make it to the bus stop, you still have to wait for the bus then there's probably traffic, taking his offer can save you from being late to work.

The only information you have on him is so little that you have no idea he's been driving his car to campus every day. It's neat in there, unlike any other guy's car you've been in that's littered with trash or their stuff. His car smells nice and he drives steadily with one hand on the steering wheel.

"You haven't done that assignment for Professor Park's class, don't you?" He suddenly asks.

Your eyes widen in shock because no one knows except that he was there when you were being scolded by Professor Park in his office.

"How did you know?"

It takes him a few seconds to finally give you an answer, "we met outside his office but I guess you were too upset to notice."

You weren't just upset, you cursed at Professor Park right after closing the door of his office then kicked the potted plant nearby, sending the soil scattered on the floor. You were furious but Seungmin was just being nice by saying you were just 'too upset'.

"I don't see why you still like me after seeing that," you say with an awkward laugh.

"I just do," he says ever so casually like he just didn't admit to having a feeling for you.

Aren't you glad you're not like any other girl? Imagine hearing that and your heart starts to flutter.

"That's why I ask you on a date," he says again.

You take a moment to look at him, observing him and trying to see if he has any ulterior motives. Who knows? It's usually the quiet ones that are unpredictable.

He turns his head at you and stops you from scanning him further, "Let's go on a date!"

You have no problem with him, he's alright. Kim Seungmin is nice and smart, but that's also the problem, you don't date nice guys.

"No," you flatly reject him.

He doesn't seem to mind being rejected, he rather seems like he already expected this answer from you.

"May I know why?" He calmly asks.

And you like how curious he sounded, he probably thinks this whole thing is a mathematical problem that he can't solve and will keep on trying until he does.

"I don't date guys like you," you answer.

"Guys like me?"

"Nice guys," you give him a clearer answer.

"Ah!" He exclaims and calmly makes a turn to the parking lot of the bookstore you're working in.

You take it that he gave up already on his quest to date you but as you unbuckle the safety belt, he stops you from getting out of the car.

"I have a proposition for you," he says.

And you never heard any man saying that to you, a proposition? What does he think it is? A business deal?

"I'll help you work on your assignment for Professor Park," he offers.

You know there's something to that, "but…?"

He smiles at your word and it's the first time that you've ever seen on him, it surprised you that he has another expression apart from the serious and focused ones you always see on him

"But once the assignment is approved, I get to take you on a date," he finishes.

It's confusing already with him suddenly confessing that he fancies you, him of all people. Why would the smartest guy on campus like the most average student who only likes to fool around with guys?

But you must admit that he makes a good proposition, it's very tempting.

"Just a date? One date?" You ask.

He nods, "one date."

One date is not harmful, right? A nice guy like him is most likely to take you out on a dinner and perhaps a walk in the park after, a kiss or two at the end of the night. You can do that without having to involve any feelings whatsoever.

There's this tugging feeling though, maybe it's coming from your experiences with bad guys that always make you suspicious about everything they do.

Also, what if Seungmin is just playing with you?

"Can I answer this later? I'm late for work," you say.

"What time do you clock out?" He asks.

You act nonchalantly to not give him the impression that you will take his proposition that easily, "8 but I have to do some stuff beforehand. Maybe close to 9, I don't know."

He nods but not saying anything to you.

"Thanks for the ride, bye!" You abruptly end the conversation and get out of his car.

You forgot all about it when you have so many tasks waiting for you, there are just too many things to do that half shift of work ended so fast and you take one last lap around the bookstore to return the straying books to their shelves.

You clock out half an hour after eight and push through the back door, you just need to go to the bus stop and a fifteen-minute bus ride later, you'll be back at your small apartment and sleep and...

You hear a car honking at you from across the parking lot, you squint to see the car with the headlights shine right at you.

The car drives and stops right next to you, it's Seungmin.

"Come on, I'll drive you home," he says from his rolled-down window.

You lean down just enough to see him inside and lean closer to him, "Why are you still here?" You ask with pure shock.

"I'm waiting for your answer," he answers in the same deadpan manner.

So, Seungmin is serious about his proposition.

-

You work on the assignment together after you get off work and Seungmin would already there, waiting in his car for you.

He doesn't mind spending hours in your shoebox of an apartment, squeezing yourselves into the worn-out couch while he patiently guides you as you work on your laptop. He never overstayed and leaves before midnight, despite none of you having a curfew and being of age to do anything.

When you're not working, you do the assignment at a cafe close to your apartment building.

"Do you always do that?"

"Huh?" You turn your head at him.

"Touching your nose," he points at your hand touching one of your ears.

You didn't even know you were scratching your nose until he pointed it out and you have to consciously put your hand down, "it's a habit, I guess."

He sheepishly smiles at you before looking down at the book he's reading, "that's cute."

And you can say the same about him.

Seungmin likes to wait by his car for your last class to end and his face would light up when he sees you.

"How are you?" He would ask, it's a simple question but you like his smile more when he asks that, a smile that somehow resembles a puppy's.

One night, when you had to work overtime at work, he came into the bookstore and brought you food because he knew you'll be skipping dinner.

Seungmin is nice and he's smart, he's great but love is just... yuck.

-

You are back on your worn-out couch to work on the assignment for the last time.

Seungmin is intently checking your assignment while you quietly do the same to him. These past few days you have spent with him, make you notice things you haven't seen in him before. He used to wear his hair down, but tonight, he pushes his hair back which makes him look more attractive.

And when he's focusing hard like this, his stare is fierce and his jaws are clenched, he looks even more attractive because he's so unaware of it.

He wears a fitted shirt which only accentuates his slim figure and square shoulders.

"Do you play sports?" You blurt out because you're never the type to hold back when you're curious about something and most men like being asked about their physique.

"Baseball," he shorty replies without straying his eyes from the laptop screen.

"Let me guess, pitcher?"

He nods.

That explains the broad shoulders and your eyes lower to see his hands holding the laptops, he has nice hands and long fingers with evident veins on the back of his hands.

It's the first time you realize you have always been sitting in this proximity with him on your worn-out couch in your small apartment.

Tonight, the proximity feels exceptionally palpable and you start to notice the nice smell of his perfume.

Seungmin shifts on his seat to put the laptop down on the table.

"It's good," he says then takes a sip of his canned soda.

"Yeah?" You ask but your eyes watching his Adam's apple bob in his neck as he swallows his drink.

He nods.

"Do you think Professor Park will approve?" You ask but your eyes are looking at nowhere but his lips.

"Yes," he confidently says.

You swallow air and lean in close, a hand holds him by the shoulder as you press a kiss on his lips.

The kiss is fizzy and sweet like the orange soda that he just drank. His lips are soft and warm but you notice that he stiffens against your lips.

You hurriedly let go of the kiss, poor guy isn't ready when you hastily decided to kiss him.

"I'm sorry," you say. As much as you hate saying sorry for everything you do that you're not exactly sorry for, the words have to be said.

He stays quiet for a moment then lifts his hand to reach for your hair, putting it all away and putting it behind your ear.

"Can I kiss you back?" He asks.

You eagerly nod.

He slowly brings his face close to you and your eyes are closing out of reflex, you feel his soft kiss on your cheek. When you think he will stop there, he drags his lips to kiss you on each eyelid and your breath quickens as he continues sliding his lips down your cheek to your lips.

There, he kisses you again.

With his tongue, he cleverly parted your mouth open to deepen the kiss and you gasp as you let him taste you more.

Sensing that he wants this as much as you do, you get on his lap and he immediately sits back on the couch.

He curves his hand under your arm and splayed his hand on your back.

There's no way that Seungmin has never dated before, the way he twirls his tongue and brushes his lips over yours, it's impossible if he's this good at kissing and never dated anyone before.

And he knows his hand placement, he’s touching you in the places that usually make you uncomfortable but still, you like how he holds you in place and keeps you safe.

He's officially good at kissing and you wonder if he's good at other things too.

Keeping his mouth busy, your fingers working open the buttons of his shirt one by one but you ditch the plan altogether and decide to glide your hand down his front until you meet the waistband of his jeans.

He catches your hand before you can proceed and breaks the kiss, "not now," he mutters.

"Why not?" You ask and lean in to kiss him again.

He stops you there and smiles, "I haven't taken you on a date yet."

"Well, we can skip the date and just do it, you know?" You've never been shameless about being upfront about it. You know what they want and you know you have the same interest so what's the point of beating around the bush?

"That's not a part of the proposition," he says and he glances at the clock on your laptop screen, "and it's almost midnight, I have to go."

You scoff and reluctantly get off his lap, "this is why I don't date nice guys," you say with a heavy sigh.

Seungmin gathers his things and put everything back into his bag, he cracks a smile seeing your dissatisfied expression, "don't worry about the assignment, I'm sure it'll be approved," he says.

"Okay," you say with a shrug, feeling a tad bitter for being rejected by him.

He lowly chuckles seeing you pouting at the far end of the couch, "I'm going. See you at campus!" He says, waving his hand at you by the doorway before leaving.

Seungmin is nice and smart, he's great, he's a good kisser and has nice square shoulders but love is just... yuck.

-

You let out a long sigh of relief once you got out of Professor Park's office, your assignment is approved and you feel like the thing that's been weighing down your chest disappeared into thin air.

Seungmin waits by his car and you come up to him to deliver the good news.

"He approved!" You say with a giddy smile.

"Told you, you don't have to worry so much," he says with such coy.

"Thank you," you sincerely say to him with a smile.

He smiles back and unlocks the car, "Get in! I'll drive you to work!"

Okay, you have to give him that, he looks so cool looking calm and confident like that.

"So, you've done your part in the proposition... when can I do mine?" You ask, trying to make it sound casual but it's unusual for you to get nervous talking about it to him.

He gets quiet and you can't help but think what if he has a second thought about the proposition after spending these past few days with you?

"I'll call you to tell you when," he says.

And his answer only makes you even more nervous because what if he really is just playing a social experiment on you? What if he doesn't like you anymore? What if, what if, what if.

"You're going to be late!" He says with a hand gently squeezing your forearm.

You didn't realize that you have arrived at the parking lot of the bookstore, "Yeah," you stutter and quickly gather your bag.

You push the car door open but not getting out yet, "you don't have to pick me up after work," you tell him.

"Yes, I was about to tell you I can't pick you up. I have something to do tonight," he adds.

"Thanks for the ride!" You say before getting out of the car.

It's kind of boring when you get back to your apartment and have nothing to do when it's usually you and Seungmin working on an assignment together. It's clear that you don't miss the assignment, you miss having Seungmin around and listening to his weird ideas out of his smart mouth.

But you have to be the nice girl and wait for the nice guy to call for the date.

How long would it take though?

You start to think that you're getting karma from making all those men wait for your call and you've been dreading a phone call for a week now.

You still meet him on campus but it looks like he's busy with something or he's just straight up wanting to give you hell.

Kim Seungmin is not a nice guy after all.

If this how's he is going to do it then why don't you shift your attention elsewhere but to the cute guy you met in the library.

You don't know why you like cute guys nowadays, but he has dimples on his cheeks so you guess that's why.

"I'm in my second year," he says.

"Oh?" So that means he's younger than you and not that you have problems with age it's just taken you by surprise, also, that explains why he's so cute.

Your phone rings in the middle of the conversation, you ignore it by shoving it inside your bag but it keeps on ringing.

"I'm sorry but I have to take this," you say to your cute date with an apologetic smile.

"Sure yeah," he replies.

You pick it up without seeing the contact name, "hello?"

"Hey, it's me," he says from the other end of the line.

And you recognize the voice, it's Seungmin.

"Yes?" You try to mimic his nonchalant way of talking.

"Just letting you know that the date is tonight," he says.

"Tonight?" You ask in surprise and almost make your date choke on his coffee.

"Yeah," he confirms.

You clear your voice and clear your throat before speaking, "but that's so sudden," you meekly say.

"So... you can't go?" He asks.

Isn't this what you've been waiting for? Doing your part on the proposition?

"No, let's do it tonight," you calmly answer.

"Okay then, I'll pick you up at 7," he says and hangs up.

You put your phone away and look at it, can't believe that he ends the phone call like that after making you wait for a whole week.

Then you see that it's fifteen past four in the afternoon which means you only have less than 3 hours to get ready. You get up from your chair and take your bag.

"Where are you going?"

For a second, you are forgetting your cute date and shoot him a smile, "I have to go somewhere," you say.

But he just looks at you wide-eyed and confused.

Maybe it's time that you stop fooling around and this cute guy deserves someone better than you. You look at him and smile, "you're really cute and nice, I had a fun time but I really have to go," you admit with a grimace.

No matter how much you hate apologizing but you do owe him an apology for abruptly leaving him on a date.

"I'm sorry," you sincerely say.

"That's okay," he responds with a dimpled smile.

The next thing that gets in the way is the outfits, you have zero ideas about where Seungmin may take you tonight. What would a nice guy do on a date? Where would he take you?

Probably candlelight dinner somewhere romantic, that's pretty much the standard of a nice guy. You decide on a simple black dress because it's always the safest choice. It's not too short, it's appropriate, and it's giving a nice girl look with all of your hair down.

A few spritzes of perfume and off you go.

Seungmin's car is already waiting not far from the entrance of your apartment building, you walk there and get inside without waiting for him to let you in first.

"Have you been waiting long?" You ask, hurriedly looking for the seatbelt to put on.

He looks at you rather wide-eyed, a bit confused.

It makes you suddenly feel so insecure about yourself, "Is there something wrong?"

He gets quiet for a few seconds before shaking his head, "You look nice!" He says.

That reminds you to look at his outfits and he wears something casual, a black shirt with blue jeans and a dark jacket.

Great, you're overdressed!

"Thanks," you meekly say.

You clear your throat while Seungmin turns the key in the ignition, "where are we going?" You ask and try to sound coy about it.

"We're going to see your favorite band!" He replies.

Turns out, Seungmin did his research very thoroughly and found out that your favorite band is busking at the park tonight.

They're still setting up band equipment when you arrived, you choose to sit on the steps facing the stage but you're struggling to cover your legs since you're wearing a dress.

Seungmin is considerate as he always does. He takes off his jacket and put it on your lap, "Here!"

"Chivalry is not dead after all!" You beam and fix his jacket to cover your legs.

The steps start to fill with more people as the time for the show is getting nearer, "How do you know my favorite band?"

Seungmin was rolling the sleeves of his shirt when you ask, "I see your records collection at your apartment," he simply answers like it doesn't take a math formula to know it.

"But I have a lot!" You point out.

"But I see that you have a lot of records of them," he replies.

"But that could also mean I only like the album covers," you hypothetically remark.

He jerks his head with a scrunched face, "that's impossible! You own one of their rare records!"

That caught you off guard, you didn't think that he would do such detailed research to your liking, you're low-key impressed by him.

"You know there's a much simpler way to know everything that I like," you tell him.

"Yeah?"

You nod and look at him, "you can ask the person yourself," you say with a sly smile.

He sheepishly smiles and places his hand on his knee, "Can I ask you something then?"

"Sure!”

"Do you like me now?"

He caught you off guard again but this time you burst out laughing as a reaction, "We're hardly an hour into our date here."

"So?" He asks with a shrug.

It's that hint of nonchalant attitude that makes him stand out from the other guys you met and mingled with, possibly the most interesting nice guy you've ever met and you're aware of how they contradict each other.

"Ask me again at the end of the date," you say with a sneaky smile.

At the end of the show, Seungmin helps you get up from the steps and you put his jacket on since the night is getting cool.

"Where are we going now?" You always hated being so nosy but Seungmin has been keeping you on your toes by not telling you what his plans for the date are. So far, all of your guesses are missed.

"I thought you were hungry," he says.

"I am!"

He holds your hand and leads you to the other side of the park, "I'm hungry too so I'm thinking we should get somewhere to eat."

You start guessing in your head again, maybe this once your guess will land on the mark, that he would take you somewhere romantic like you expected in your head.

He takes you on a stroll and not hesitates to keep holding your hand wherever you go, somehow you don't feel uncomfortable at all.

There are so many couples taking a stroll in the park so you're grateful that you're not alone among all of these lovey-dovey couples.

"The exit out of the park is this way," you tell him as he keeps going straight.

"There are a lot of food trucks by the river," he says while keeps pulling you with him.

You snort behind him since the park is crowded with people taking pictures of the cherry blossom in bloom.

He looks over his shoulder and sees you laughing, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," you snort again, once again failing on your guess.

Seungmin is truly something.

"What do you want?" He asks as you stop at a food truck to order food.

"I want the cheeseburger but I also kind of want the bacon one," you answer, torn between the two.

"Then we'll order both," he concludes and orders it.

Sitting on the empty bench facing the river with your food in the space between you and him, you can't lie that you're getting hungry just from the sight of it.

"You want to try mine?" He offers.

You don't take the burger from him but take a bite out of it while he holds it, munching it with a grin on your face.

He lets out another smile, one that you like to see on him, the puppy one.

He doesn't wait to take a bite right after you and a dollop of ketchup gets on the corner of his mouth.

"You did that on purpose, don't you?" You say with squinted eyes.

"Huh? What?"

You take a napkin and wipe it clean for him, "there!" You hand the napkin to him after and continue eating your food.

"Did you do that on purpose too?" He suddenly asks.

You look up at him, "what?" You trace your mouth if you got anything on your mouth.

"You do this," he points out at how you always scratch your nose.

"I did?" You ask with eyes widened.

He nods.

Before you can explain, you unconsciously scratch your nose and stop when you're aware of what are you doing.

"I told you it's a habit," you persist and fight the urge to do it again.

"And I told you that it's cute," he says then shoves a few fries into his mouth.

You make another trip to the selections of food trucks and bought ice cream as dessert while taking a stroll back to the parking lot. The night is so warm the ice cream melts in your hand.

You throw the rest of the cone into the garbage bin before getting into the car, Seungmin pulls open the glove box in front of you and takes out a pack of wet wipes.

He pulls two at once and helps you clean your hands with them, he meticulously wipes the spaces between your fingers too. You smile looking at how he cares that much about your hygiene.

"I feel like a surgeon about to go into the operation room," you joke.

But he is unfazed by all of your fun takes on his treatments on you, "I guess we're going home?" he says.

You check the time on your phone screen, "but it's barely 10 pm," you say.

"Then... do you want to go somewhere else?" He asks.

You laugh because once you gave up guessing what he's going to do next, he runs out of plans for the date.

"Are you saying this is the end of the date?" You ask with disbelief.

He innocently nods.

You sit back and keep laughing, he did everything to get on a date with you but the date itself is... you wouldn't say lame, he’s just didn't prepare it well.

"Let's just go somewhere," you say before your laughs start to annoy him.

"Your place?"

"No!" You refuse rather too quickly.

If you went to your place then he would get to use the 'it's midnight time to go home' excuse on you.

"Let's go to your place," you say without looking at him, afraid that he would read your intentions.

He looks at you for a few seconds and you bravely look back at him, using all the force you have in you to remain calm.

"Okay!" He agrees then starts the car engine.

Seungmin lives quite far from the university while you live not very far, it's a mystery how he manages to always get there before you. Or it could be because you're just lazy.

His apartment building has an elevator that works and he lives on the eighth floor, can only imagine what kind of view he gets from his apartment.

"Come in!" He says as he pushes the apartment door open to let you in.

He doesn't have that much furniture in his place, everything is neatly placed and well organized. The door to his bedroom is slightly ajar, you can only take a little peek at what it looks like but you see his bed is made.

"Please, sit down!" He gestures to the long sofa that is unlike the worn-out couch you have at your place.

You sit in the middle and he hands you a blanket from the armrest of the sofa.

"Want to drink something?" He asks.

"Yes, please?"

"Water, juice or soda?"

"I'd like a glass of wine actually," you say in an attempt to tease him.

He turns around and heads to the kitchen, opening the cabinet to pull out a bottle of wine which surprises you that he really has one.

"I only have red wine, is that alright?"

"More than alright!" You reply with a smile.

You wait for him while taking off his jacket, gently placing it on the empty stool next to the sofa then unfolding the blanket to cover your legs with it.

Seungmin returns with the bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the other, you take them from him so he can open the bottle.

He carefully pours wine into both glasses and takes one from your hand, clinking your glass together to finally take a sip.

"Can I ask you the question again now?" he asks, putting his wine glass down on the table.

You finish your glass to make him wait for your answer, "but it's not the end of the date yet," you disagree with him.

You put down your glass and turn to face him on the sofa, "and you have to pass the basic interview first!"

"The basic interview?"

You shush him and think of a question to ask him, "first question: since when do you like me?"

He turns his head at you with an intrigued expression on his face, "ever since we took the same class together," he answers.

You trace back to the time you first met him in economy class and it was back to almost a year ago, you didn't know he's been liking you ever since.

"Second question: why do you like me?"

He takes his time to answer and turns at you to deliver it, "because you are smart but I'm obviously smarter," he begins.

"I'll take that as a compliment," you let out a snide comment at him.

"You're very honest in an almost rude way," he adds.

"I'll... also take that as a compliment," you comment.

"I said almost," he reminds you.

You roll your eyes at him in response.

"And you're very genuine, there's nothing fake about you," he concludes.

You raise an eyebrow at him, "maybe I do but you just don't know," you poke fun at him.

"I would have seen it if you had any," he says.

You chuckle at how confident he is of himself and move on to the next question, "What do you like about me then?"

"Everything!"

You groan at the typical answer, "how cliché!"

"You want me to name a specific part of you that I like?"

You nod.

"But I don't have any specific part of you that I like, I like every part of you that makes you, you," he explains and you hate to admit it but he did sound so cool when he said it.

Certainly not an answer you had in mind that you don't know how to properly react to that.

"I like you as a whole," he says with his doe eyes staring right at you.

You're not supposed to feel this way, right? But you feel the blood rushing to your cheeks as they start heating. You start to laugh because it's the only proper way you know to react to his words.

"Are you blushing?" He points out.

"No!" You deny his question rather too quickly again.

He chuckles at you and takes the bottle of wine to refill your glass.

"You know you don't have to say all that," you tell him.

"But you're asking," he coyly replies.

"I mean," you take the bottle of wine from him and put it away, taking his hand then taking the front of his shirt, "Just kiss me already!"

You pull him by the shirt you crumple in your hand and bring his face close to you, locking your lips with his, closer and closer until the gap is closing.

This is long overdue, you have zero patience left and Seungmin is a damn good kisser, you can't stop now, you're not letting it go.

You push him back against the sofa then gets on his lap, straddling him with your hands caging him in between, smirking as you're about to sink your mouth into his again.

Seungmin unexpectedly returns the kisses with such enthusiasm with his hands begin to touch you, tracing the curve of your body clothed in skin tight dress.

You keep kissing him, forcing his head to tilt upward, earning you access to deepen the kiss.

He lets out little whimpers every time you tugged his lips between your teeth like a little puppy.

He's probably running out of breath that he gently pushes you away, making a space between your faces yet he stays with his head resting back on the sofa.

His eyes easily find yours and stare at them, then put all of your hair away to take a better look at you.

His hands then trace the frame of your face, eyes, nose, and lips. He touches them so tenderly as if he’s touching flower petals.

It's the way his eyes light up when he looks into your eyes again that gets you, he brushes your hair to the side and softly smiles, then mutters, "you're really pretty."

You don't know how he did that but you believe that he's being genuine, Seungmin has been nothing but honest about what he says and does.

Then you feel something in your stomach, a feeling that was once familiar and only made you sick before. Your heart is beating faster and you start to think he could hear it so you kiss him again.

Seungmin slowly slumps down on his seat and the next thing you know both of your bodies are tangled on the sofa with his body weighing on top of you.

In the heat of the moment, he suddenly breaks the kiss and props his hand next to you.

"Why? What's wrong?" You ask because of how abruptly he stopped kissing you.

"It's getting late," he says.

You glance at the clock on the wall and the time shows it's 10 past midnight, you glare at him in disbelief, "don't tell me that you're going to send me home?" You wildly guess because it seems like the nice guy in him kicks in.

He lowly chuckles at you, "I'm saying we should take it to the bedroom," he says with a sly smile.

That means the nice guy in him is off for the night and that's exactly what you want, you want him bad.

He gets up first and holds out his hand at you which you eagerly take, walking behind him as he leads you to his room.

He turns around once you step into the room and says, "I have to check if you have something on you."

You tip your head to the side in confusion, "Huh?"

He lets go of you to put his hands on your shoulders, "do you carry anything dangerous with you?" He asks, patting the side of your body as if you're going through a security check.

You softly chuckle at him and hum while thinking of an answer, "not that I know of," you cheekily answer.

His hands stop at your waist then he slowly pushes you to the wall, "I have to do a full body check then," he utters to you with his body pins against yours.

He's so hot gleeful and sly like this, you're trapped in his gaze as he looks down on you and put your hands up, pins them above your head.

He presses his forehead on yours to softly kiss the tip of your nose and oh... these butterflies used to make you sick.

He drops your hands onto his shoulders and holds you close, burying his mouth in your neck, drinking in your scent.

Catching him off guard, you turn him around and have him pinned against the wall with your body, "what about you?" You ask with your finger hooks on the opening of his shirt.

"Do you have anything dangerous on you, sir?" You ask again with a loopy grin.

He slumps down just enough to be on the same eye level as you and throws his hands up, surrendering himself to you.

Your hands begin to pat around his body, feeling the firmness of his body against his shirt to eventually meet his stiff member inside its confine.

"Now, that's dangerous!" You lowly murmur to his ear.

Without warning, he wraps his hands around you to unzip your dress.

He doesn't wait to part it open and take it off you, until the piece of clothing pooling around your ankle. He keeps taking steps forward forcing you to walk backward until the back of your legs hit the bed frame.

Slowly, you sit on the edge of the bed and hold his hands before laying down, pulling him with you, sending him toppled on top of you.

With the room staying dimly lit with the only source of light coming from the bedside lamp, Seungmin's jaws appear firmer, prominent and he's just so fucking attractive.

There's no need to confirm how wet you are down there just from having his body on you.

His long fingers trace your jaw before lowering his mouth on you again, so slowly as if he's kissing something so fragile.

With the proximity, your hands work to open his shirt while he keeps your mouth busy with slow, deep kisses.

You impatiently rip his shirt open the second you succeed in opening the last button and Seungmin helps by taking it off of him, then throws it aside. You won't waste another second touching his body with your hands. He's not muscular but his body is firm and lean, and his skin is warm like the morning sun.

The hunger for him grows bigger as your hands go lower to unbutton his jeans open and Seungmin abruptly stops kissing you.

Your mouth is agape, panting and your eyes snap open to find his staring into you. You slightly got panicked thinking that you must've done something he's uncomfortable with, "Wha—"

He buries his head in your neck again even before you can finish your question, kissing you there, tasting your skin with his tongue. You gasp when he softly bites your ear shell and he drags his mouth down your chest.

A shiver goes down your spine as he gently kisses your sternum and leaves a wet mark on the skin, funny that it feels like he just sets your body on fire.

He continues his trail of kisses and not stopping even though his mouth is getting closer to where you wanted him the most.

You mewl the moment his mouth lands on your clothed core, his breath feels heavy and hot between your legs.

He looks at you as his hands start pulling your underwear down your legs and off of you, kissing your inner thighs after.

With his big hands rubbing up and down your thighs, his mouth once again closing into your heating core, he hasn't touched it but you feel the tingle already.

It feels soft and warm that you let out a delightful sigh, his mouth on your delicate flesh and you're taking in all these delights with your eyes closed.

Everything he does with his mouth is so subtle and smooth yet he presses on the right spots rather intensely.

You have nothing to say but let him take you higher and drown you in pleasure.

Then he suddenly stops and lifts his head to look at you, "you're so quiet," he says.

You look down at him, at his head hanging between your legs with disheveled hair.

"You don't like it? Want me to stop?" He asks again.

You look him in the eyes and ask, "Did I tell you to stop?"

You prop an elbow and your other hand reaches for his head, "do you hear me telling you to stop?"

He stays still for a few seconds then places his mouth on you to continue the deed.

"That's what I'm saying," you say as he twirls his tongue on your clit ever so slowly like licking an ice cream and it slowly melts under his tongue.

Your hand tangles in his hair and tug at it every time the pleasure feels too intense, another way to tell him that your silence doesn't mean that you're not enjoying it. It's the opposite, it's too good that you can't find anything to say but enjoy every second of it.

Your moans grow louder as your breath quickens, and the knot inside you comes to the point that you can't hold it in anymore.

Seungmin seems to sense that you're coming close to your high and continues what brings you the most pleasure using his mouth.

Your back is arching as you seek more even though you're on the verge of exploding and when you finally do, you try so hard not to clamp Seungmin's head between your legs.

You pull him by the shoulder to hover above you, "A nice guy who knows how to eat me out, huh?"

With your hand on his neck, you pull him close to kiss him.

"I think that's my new ideal type," you add with your lips grazing his as you speak.

He gets flustered by your words then kisses you again while you use the opportunity to taste yourself on him.

And maybe he senses how needy you are for him that he puts a space between your bodies, slowly pulling away from the kiss.

"Just a second," he says and crawls over to the side, taking something out from a drawer.

You take the time to take off your bra and put it away, sitting on the bed while waiting for Seungmin.

"I can help you with that," you say with a sly grin since he takes quite a long time to put on a condom.

"Are you that impatient?" He asks without looking at you.

You laugh at his remark and find him crawling back at you, crashing his body on top of yours, kissing you ferociously that when he finally lets go, you gasp for air.

He then shifts his focus to enter you, wetting the tip with your essence to slowly push it in.

You spread your legs wider the deeper he goes and draw his body closer, he feels so good inside that you feel like going to climax one more time despite you just had it a few minutes ago.

In the midst of it, he looks at you for any signs of discomfort on you.

"I can take you well," you assure him with a grin.

He lowly chuckles and kisses you again, probably to shut you up from making another playful remark at him.

Seungmin thrusts deep and slow, everything about it so sensual, his hair that falls around his face and the way his jaws clench and unclench.

You usually never cared much about who wants to please or get pleased, tonight exceptionally, you want to do the former. Holding him by the shoulders, you turn him over and have him under you, you take a moment just to look at him, at how gorgeous he looks underneath you.

You place your hands on his chest and start slowly rolling your hips, letting him feel how good it feels being inside you.

Feeling mischievous, you intentionally clench around him and watch how his face contorted in pleasure.

"You like that?" You ask him.

He sighs before answering you, "I'll let you know later," he pokes fun.

You glare and clench around him again, your teeth faintly biting your lower lip.

He groans with his hands gripping each side of your waist, overwhelmed by the pleasure.

Seungmin doesn't want to play along anymore, so he gets up and wraps his hands around you, holding you still without stopping you from moving on top of him.

You manage to break your hands away from his confine and put them around his neck, bringing your mouth close to his ear you say, "cum for me like a nice guy you are," you say with a giggle.

He looks up at you with eyes wide and dark with lust, then without warning, he lowers you down to the space between his legs on the bed.

He has you trapped under and between his arms, he intensely stares into your eyes like there's something so intriguing happening in them.

A hand wraps around your neck to angle your head for a deep kiss, he starts thrusting into you again so slowly but each thrust sends him deeper into you.

He hits you right on the spot repeatedly but you want to play it fair, you want him to cum first before you do.

It seems like he's not going to last long as his movements are getting sloppy, his breathing is ragged and heavy. You clung to him, wrapping your legs around his waist, and let him ram into you, chasing his high.

"That feels so good," you breathlessly mutter into his ear, not letting the pleasure goes unnoticed this time around.

"Seungmin oh..." you mutter with a broken moan.

That seems to work since he starts to pick up the pace, tirelessly moving in and out of you. He rakes your hands from around his shoulders, intertwining his hands with yours and pinning them on each side of you

For a second, you dare to stare back and feel the warmth of his brown eyes.

And this is the closest you've ever seen of him.

"Seungmin..." you unconsciously call for him like you need the assurance that you didn't dream all of this.

He tenderly kisses you in response to your call, summoning the butterflies to start flying around in your stomach.

And these butterflies used to make you sick but now these butterflies make you fly away.

Seungmin lets out a raw groan and stifles a thrust as he finally hits his high. Little did you know that you were cumming as well a moment after him.

He kisses your open mouth for a sloppy kiss then buries his head in the crook of your neck, panting so close to your ear.

Your arms are wrapped around him as you also try to rearrange your breathing.

"So, do you like me now?" Seungmin suddenly asks.

You're too tired to even lift your hand but you can't help but laugh at his question, how he is still able to ask you that question in a moment like this.

You turn your head to the side to look at him, "ask me again when you're not inside me."

-

You wake up the next day to the smell of coffee wafting through the bedroom door left ajar, you're still too drowsy to put on something so you wrap yourself with a blanket and drag it with you.

Seungmin is brewing coffee in the kitchen, pouring hot water with utmost concentration like he was doing surgery rather than brewing a pot of coffee.

"Morning!" You greet with a sleepy smile and sit on the empty stool facing the kitchen island.

He looks up and there's a faint, wry smile on his face at the sight of you wrapped in his blanket.

"Coffee?" He offers.

"Yes, please!"

He turns around and opens the top cabinet to get a mug, places it in front of you then pours the hot steaming coffee. Even just the smell of it awakens you almost instantly and you inhale more of it before taking a small sip.

"Are you working today?" He asks.

You nod since you're too busy sipping your coffee to provide a verbal answer.

Seungmin pours himself a cup of coffee too and wraps his hands around it, "what time does your shift start?"

You clear your throat and answer, "later in the afternoon. I'm working full shift on the weekend."

He carefully sips his coffee, "want me to drive you there?"

"Just drive me home. I can get to work myself," you kindly refuse his offer and sip your coffee again.

He nods and puts down his mug on the countertop, he looks so calm like last night left no impression on him whatsoever.

Is it normal that you feel a little disappointed with that?

"I need to shower," you blurt out and hastily take a sip of your coffee.

"New toothbrush on the second drawer and clean towels on the top rack," he informs.

"What about you?" You ask while holding the mug close to your lips.

"Huh?"

"Don't you need to shower too?"

"I've already showered," he says.

You scoff and sip your coffee for one last time, "of course you are!"

Once you put down your mug, you stop clutching the blanket and let it drop onto the floor. You ignore the goosebumps raised on your skin from being exposed to the cool morning air.

You boldly look at him but he stays unfazed, sipping his coffee while looking back at you.

You scoff in disbelief and get up from the stool, standing in front of him only in your underwear.

"It's your loss!" You say to him before leaving for the bathroom with your attempt to lure him has come to a failure.

There's a knock on the door as you're putting on your dress from last night, "Come in!"

Seungmin comes in through the door and sees you struggling to zip up your dress, "let me help you," he says, coming to stand behind you.

You put all of your hair to the side and let him help you, "thanks!"

Seungmin then sits on the end of the bed, "Come here! I'll help you dry your hair," he pats the space next to him.

Instead of sitting there, you sit on his lap and put your hand around his shoulder.

He sighs and reaches for the towel in your hand, putting them around your head to gently dry your hair with it. His eyes are looking somewhere else, he looks into your eyes then at your lips, and back to your eyes again.

"Don't look at me like that if you're not going kiss me," you say with your fingers lazily scratching the hair on the back of his head.

He pauses and looks at you, "who says I'm not going to kiss you?"

He lowers his hand to the nape of your neck and holds you there as he presses a kiss on your lips, slowly at first but the moment he puts his other hand on your waist, he kisses you harder, deeper.

His slick tongue invades your mouth to taste you more while your hand fisted the collar of his shirt.

If only you didn't need to breathe, you wouldn't have to gently push him away and break the kiss. He smiles when he looks at you and continues drying your hair with the towel like nothing has happened.

Seungmin lends you one of his hoodies for you to put on over your dress, he helps by putting it on you like you don’t know how to put it on yourself.

A grin rises on his face when your head pops through the opening of the hoodie, he is quick to fix your hair for you and put it behind your ear.

Something about it makes your heart pitter-patter, it's so unlike you to melt just from a simple gesture but you get the urge to peck his lips and so you did.

He stops the car by the entrance of your apartment building since you insist that you will get to work yourself.

"Want me to pick you up after work?"

You hate to ask him something and bother him with it but the idea of seeing him again makes it a little hard to resist, "I would love that," you beam.

He nods, "alright then!"

You unbuckle the safety belt and grab your bag, ready to leave.

"I'll see you later then," you say and reach for the lock of the car door.

He grabs you by the sleeve of your hoodie, "so, do you like me now?"

You stop on your track and burst into a laugh, he still won't stop asking you the question even though it's obvious what the answer is. You just know that he's merely curious and not faking it either.

You pull him by the front of his shirt and give him a long peck on the lips as an answer. He didn't expect that, that when you let go, his mouth hangs open.

"Bye!" You say, flashing him a smile before getting out of the car.

-

You're not supposed to feel this way, right?

Listening to love songs and they start to make sense. Nice weather makes you feel sentimental. You're mad when he keeps calling you on the phone but hates it when he doesn't. He looks at you all mushy and follows you like a puppy, strangely, you enjoy it.

Everything about it is so cute and you wonder how you didn't get sick in the stomach from all of that.

You get off work and Seungmin is waiting in his car, you break into a run like you can't wait to meet him again, at least you know that's a fact.

"How's work?" He asks the moment you sit on the passenger's side.

"Alright, I guess," you answer.

"Hungry?"

"Famished," you reply with a frown.

He takes something from the backseat of his car, and to your surprise, it's a bouquet of flowers. You can't help but smile, then burst out laughing when you realized that something like this would make you groan in disgust.

In reality, receiving flowers like this is kind of nice and they smell wonderful too.

"What is this?" You fake an annoyed pout at him, "I can't eat this!"

He chuckles and takes something else from the backseat of the car, a bag of food, and put it on your lap.

Your smile grows wider and you impatiently rummage inside to take out the food he bought for you.

"Eat well!" He says and turns the car engine on.

Every day for the past two weeks after the date is spent like this, apart from meeting you at the campus, he picks you up from work and stays over at your place after.

You both huddle on your small worn-out couch which will ultimately lead to a make-out session and time flies fast when you're spending it with someone you really like.

He slowly lets go of the kiss and pecks you on the lips. You take this as a cue that its midnight and he's going to leave soon, you heavily sigh before speaking.

"It's midnight and the nice guy has to go home?" You sneer at him with your hands fixing the collars of his shirt.

He hovers above you and brushes your hair to the side, you like it whenever he do that, you feel somehow admired and taken care of.

"It's midnight..." he pauses to peck your lips, "so it's time for bed."

Your ears perked up like hearing something so exciting, "huh?"

"We should go to bed and you must be tired too, right?"

You hesitate to ask but you need to know if he plans on spending the night with you, "Are you staying?"

"Or you prefer this nice guy to leave?" He asks back, getting back at you for all of your snarky comments about him.

You change into comfortable clothes, smirking when you catch Seungmin has been watching you through the reflection of the bathroom mirror.

You take a stand next to him and brush your teeth together facing the sink, you lend him the biggest t-shirt you have in your closet for him to wear to bed.

It feels nice when you finally lay down on the bed after a long day, it feels exceptionally nice that Seungmin is lying next to you.

Never in a million years, did you like having someone invading your private space like this but in the nicest way possible.

He kisses your forehead and says, "Goodnight!"

You turn to face him on the bed and pout, "We're just going to sleep and do nothing?"

He lowly chuckles with eyes closed, "yes."

You exhale a long breath while looking up at the ceiling, "this is so lame," you grumble.

"I am lame," Seungmin casually says.

"Very, very lame," you say but nuzzle your head into his neck.

As tired as you are, you can't fall asleep because your heart keeps beating fast like you just ran a mile instead of lying on the bed for the past hour.

You watch him sleep with his arm around you and you get to hold him close, smelling his musky scent that you like so much, and stare at his face as much as you want.

Love is some hocus pocus shit, got you completely bewitched.

Then you got reminded of something, you carefully get off the bed without waking Seungmin in the process and tiptoe to the kitchen.

The flower bouquet Seungmin gave to you is still lying on the kitchen counter, you hurriedly fill a pitcher with water and put the flowers in it.

They're so pretty, you touch the delicate petals and admire them, smell the floral scent that relaxes you.

You have a glass of water before returning to the bedroom, standing by the doorway to watch Seungmin sleeping so soundly in your bed and he's wearing your clothes, looking like he belongs there in the first place.

"Stop watching me sleep, creep!" He mutters without opening his eyes.

You giggle for being caught red-handed, rush to him to lie on top of him. He groans when you put all of your weight on him then pulls the duvet and put it over you.

"You know you're more attractive when you're quiet and still," you joke.

He puts your hands around you and holds you tight for a second, he manages to land a kiss on your head with his eyes closed.

"So.... do you like me now?" He asks.

Is that even a question? Here's an answer then.

Seungmin is smart, he's nice, and thoughtful. He can be mean but he's honest. He has a weird sense of humor. He not only has a puppy smile, but he acts like one too. He has nice square shoulders, is a good kisser, and knows how to eat you out. Seungmin is great and likes you so much but love is just...

Fuck! You think this is it. This is love.

-

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taglist: @abiaswreck @septicrebel @cursed-mars-bars @ppiri-bahng @drhsthl @a-katsukitty @tangylemonade @thisisnotstraight88 @raspbinniecreme @elizalabs3 @avyskai @lachinitaaaaa @is2cb97 @simeonswhore

[beautifulphilosopherbird]

Dungeon Meshi chapter 15, or Me trying to figure out the Kabru & co timeline bc the anime confused me (vs episode 7)

the anime ep 7 opens with Kabru & co getting resurrected, before it goes back to Senshi & friends, but in the manga they get resurrected at the start of chapter 15

they actually tell this to the mage that's with them, while in the anime he is shown when Kabru & co are already awake so they obviously cannot communicate with him (idk why he was kept a secret tho - I guess it would make adventurers suspect them of being dodgier than they seem, which they were lol)

these two speculate a bit before they resurrect them and realise it was treasure bugs

the exact fee was not mentioned in the anime (that feels like a lot of gold lmfao I wish I had something to compare it to but nothing comes to mind tbh)

I like that they showed distrust for them in the manga (tho they did in the end conclude the same thing, that it was Senshi & friends) because those two were very obviously dodgy. ironically, Marcille casting the protection on them seemed to be what convinced them it was Senshi & co who robbed them lol

the anime cuts their story after they run off to catch the "criminals", and continues it in episode 14 (in very confusing order, at least for me). this entire next part is not in the anime but in the manga we see them get to the 4th floor, the lake, trying to sniff out Senshi & friends' scent

I feel her on this (had to look up her name bc I didn't retain it from the anime lol, it's Mickbell)

are those slimes? do they hang out in water too?

they come across the two mermaids before Laios and Chilchuck, but thanks to Kuro's superior hearing, they realise it before getting bewitched

lmfao this made me laugh but I wanna know what she was actually saying tho. also they are wearing actual earplugs hahaha I thought there would be a spell for that but then again, why waste magic

why she so maddddd. she does act kinda like she has a crush on him but does she really? lmfao

this is how their bit ends for now and we backtrack to Senshi & friends before Marcille finishes the soap

Chilchuck outright has a mental breakdown in the manga RIP old man chuck

hehe what are you gonna make the raft from chickchuck? the kelpie? to carry the kelpie?

also woodchuck doesn't say "I'd rather not" to Laios in the manga (or something was lost in translation)

don't you just hate it when you find a perfectly good backpack and it's attached to a dead person. really ruins your day doesn't it

whose waterwalk spell? Laios and chucky's? or Kabru & co's? I thought they were floating bc they're dead but it's bc of the waterwalk spell? edit: no wait, later cluckchuck says that the caster is dead (Rin) so the barley should not be affected by the spell anymore, so they shouldn't either right? i'm confused now lol

interesting, in the anime he says that they met a mermaid and killed each other (did he mean they heard the mermaid's song? is that the effect it has? or is it the fishmen?)

awww Laios worrying about them cutie

anyway I'll end this bit here until we see the rest of Kabru & co story from ep 14 in the manga bc I need to understand this timeline of events it's gnawing at my brian

[taikk0]

Reference of my current sona :]

Ramble Mcshambles under the cut!!! sorry!!

blehhh he doesn't look like a miscolored enderboy anymore LMAO

he was always originally part enderman. I think those aspects of the design fizzled out till only the eyes remained intact to its Minecraft origins; since I made him to be my Minecraft skin originally (I unfortunately don't have screenshots or copies of the original skin anymore)

He's still an enderman I guess? just not traditionally. He's a mix between these two images I found years ago and I sorta headcanoned them as my sona's parents because I thought it was funny

(The blue enderman was uploaded online anonymously and the enderman on the right was presumably uploaded by itofuko on Deviantart but it seems that their account doesn't exist anymore)

He eventually started losing those enderman roots in his design and started becoming his own thing though (like i said earlier) so if anything, him being part enderman is merely just factual and not really the entire point of the design anymore.

I think it's mostly the stripes that took over, the cat hoodie is a separate character. They're morphed by little cat that can phase into and possess objects and become one with them. the old designs had a cat head on Tai's shirt, initially, the creature was supposed to work like a "mini maui". a design that was supposed to become sentient from time to time, except it had the ability to phase out of his shirt (losing the cat head design) and becoming a normal physical creature

I can't find my concept art of them, but there are these screenshots i found of their design used in an old animation :]

Anywayzzzzzz

Here's a few of Taikko's old references!:

Posted on April 14th 2021, Very visibly tall and lanky and heavy on the dark colors

Posted on May 23rd 2021, somehow with the redesign looking younger than the older one. probably went along with the change of artstyle, losing the sketchy style but still keeping it angular.

Created on February 15th 2022, this was the reference for the current redesign. a change in wardrobe and facial anatomy but lacking an update on the palette.

And that brings us to his reappearance in June 20th of this year! implementing more blue and inheriting the eye style and cheek markings that mikyomix had.

Really happy to exist again with a MUCH BETTER COLOR PALETTE.

Taikko is very special to me since they were the character I've been using to present myself online for a long time and there are a lot of good memories attached to him. He honestly feels like a part of me and I'm just really happy to have him out here again <3

[moongothic]

Okay, here goes. What's your ultimate Crocodad timeline? You can go as wild or as believable as you want.

I mean I made this timeline chart/post/thing.

But if you meant it in a more "how do you think things actually went down" specific kinda way, uhhhhh. Great question, not sure I know how to answer. Like. The possibilities on what could've happened and how are nearly endless and all those options are so interesting to me. Even if there's ideas I feel like might be more likely than others, or I find myself more invested in some ideas, I can't fully like, dedicate myself to any specific idea for a plot point or a storybeat or anything, especially if there's nothing to suggest if anything even remotely similar could've happened.

Like, say for example, how did Crocodile and Dragon meet? There's literally infinite ways they could've met, to the point I'm not even really that interested in speculating on it, because more likely than not, any guess I make will probably be wrong. Like speculating about something like that feels almost pointless. Compare that to say, how did Luffy end up in Garp's care? While we know like nothing about what exactly happened, we do have any theoretical information (ex: Garp and Croc should not know about each other, meaning there must've been a third party to deliver the baby, and it's more than likely that was Dragon) that we can get to much more specific when speculating about what might've happened. Like there's still plenty of options, but the options are far fewer, which makes the speculation so much more interesting, for me at least

But at the same time, I don't want to get too fond of any idea in because Oda could still prove me wrong and debunk it and I'd be sad if I got like fond of a concept and I ended up being dead wrong lmao

Mind you, for me, a big part of the reason I'm invested in the theory to begin with IS the possibility of it being canon. Like yes Crocodad would and always will make for fun AU fanfics regardless of if it's canon or not. But I am here to more or less speculate about canon.

So between my brain treating Crocodad as this monstrous, gigantic flow chart, and me not wanting to get too attached to any potential path on the chart... Yeah I don't know what to tell you anon, I'm sorry

Like. Just as an example. On how my brain processes this shit.

(Sidenote, this chart is like under the assumption that Croc and Dragon had mutually agreed that their child would be put in the care of Dragon's father. And while that makes the most sense to me by a long shot, technically it's totally possible Luffy was taken away from Crocodile by force by Dragon or something else) (THERE'S SO MANY POTENTIAL THINGS THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED, AHHHHHHH)

Like here, I think the most likely canon scenarios would be the "Respectful Rejection" followed by "Too Stunned To Speak -> It's Bad" routes, though personally I might be most interested in the "It Was Really Bad" route because it'd be really fucked up and sad

So like. Yeah. I have no idea what my "ultimate Crocodad timeline" would be, there's too much room for speculation to the point anything specific would leave the room of Neutral Canon Speculation and just turn into a plain old fanfic, and I'm just here for theorizing

But hey if you wanted a fanfic, here's a TL:DR;

(You know I say this is a TL:DR; but this got so fucking long it almost broke this post. Like Tumblr would not let me save the draft or post it anymore because there's a 4k character limit to "blocks", I had to break this into chunks man)

If Crocodile was betrayed by his crew after losing to Whitebeard and had to kill them himself in self-defence;

Who the fuck knows, maybe by some twist of fate our wounded/dying, exhausted and traumatized Crocodile drifted in the sea and his ship ran into Dragon, the man rescuing Crocodile from the kindness of his heart or something IDK

If the dude had to kill his own crew immidiately after Whitebeard crushed his hopes and dreams, Crocodile must've been just absolutely shell shocked. Depressed and withdrawn, just out of it. So maybe Dragon being there could've been great for Croc's mental state. Maybe. Big maybe.

If Crocodile did turn out to be the Rev Army's Secret Sugar Daddy then perhaps this is how that relationship kind of started: Crocodile could've paid Dragon in cash money as thanks for saving his life, and then just kept the money coming since Dragon had an army to run and needed the funds

(Like we don't know why Crocodile joined the Shichibukai anyways, but if it was only ever for The Benefits of not having to deal with the Marines chasing his ass anymore and if he didn't give a rat's ass about the Government... Like yeah, why not fund the Revolutionary Army, give money to the people trying to directly take down the fuckers while right under their noses.) (Who knows maybe Croc does have his own reasons for hating the WG and had like a genuine reason beyond just being a petty king and/or having basic human decency in understanding why the WG was corrupt and needed to be overthrown)

Thus begins a secret comradery where Crocodile every now and then goes and drops off some money to Dragon to help fund the Army, nobody on either side of the war any wiser (except maybe Iva-chan, they're allowed to be in on the secret, as a treat). It's their secret that they keep for years

Time passes

Whoopsie poopsie Crocodile's prégónánté

The two realize that their kid is going to be in so much danger for a pletora of reasons and that neither can raise the baby. Dragon knows his father would keep their baby safe and they both agree to leaving the child to him (not a happy decision, it's just for the best, for everyone's sake)

Anyway Crocodile's gender dysphoria goes into turbo mode during pregnancy. Maybe he never really realized it was there and/or what it was, but boy howdy, it's there now and it's really really bad. Like, if it wasn't for the baby he might just kill himself (and god knows once the kid is out and taken away, there's not going to be anything to stop him from doing just that)

Crocodile must've gone into hiding during the latter half of his pregnancy to keep it a secret from the Government, and I could totally imagine him being hellbent on being completely isolated. He is a Shichibukai, everybody knows him, he can't risk having even some random doctor recognize him and find out about the baby. Besides, it's not like he can do much while hiding anyways, like he might as well read 150 medical books to ensure he can deliver his baby by himself

(Sidenote but the narrator in OP has called Fuusha Village Luffy's "birth place" (think the term he used was "umereta machi", lit. "town he was born in"), and if that's true, then. Croc should've been hiding in and/or near Fuusha Village in Goa Kingdom. Additional sidenote, there are wild crocodiles in Goa, which are the Sir's favorite food.)

To avoid suspicion and the risk of being found out, Dragon might've agreed to not go see Crocodile during this time, only agreeing to see his significant other after the child was born so he could then deliver the baby to Garp (after not just leaving the Marines but also starting a fucking revolutionary army, the dude probably didn't want his father to find out he had been dating a fucking WARLORD)

But surely he'd think Crocodile was insane if he thought he'd let Crocodile deliver the baby alone. Like no, somebody needs to be there by his side. Someone Dragon could trust, a fellow Revolutionary perhaps. Oh yeah, just send Ivankov, what could possibly go wrong

(Personal headcanon but since we don't know when Ivankov got their Fruit, I kind of want to imagine they ate it just a short time ago at this point and that they hadn't fully realized the potential of the Hormone Fruit yet. Like their genderfluid ass may not have understood the power they now held)

Iva-chan did not know Croc was prénánté, whether Dragon told Ivankov ahead of time why they were being sent to check on Croc is up or debate (if Iva-chan was aware of Croc being their Secret Sugar Daddy though then I'm sure they understood why Dragon wanted and was willing to help out Crocodile in this situation). Croc and/or Dragon probably lied through their teeth about the father of the child if Iva-chan ever asked about it, and whatever Iva-chan was told they clearly bought it since they never knew about Dragon having a kid.

When Iva gets there though they can see right away that something is fucking wrong with Crocodile, in ways even he can't understand. He is so uncomfortable 24/7 for seemingly no reason. So naturally Iva-chan pokes and prods at the dumbass until Croc has a break down and explains his weird feelings he can't even word properly and this is how Emporio Ivankov discovered transgenderism

What's that? You don't like what pregnancy has done to your body, doesn't feel like it's yours anymore? You feel love for your child but don't want to be its mother? Good news, you can be its father instead. Bad news, gotta wait until the baby is farted out. Aren't sure about it? No worries, there's time to think about it, and shit's 100% reversible anyways. Just hang in there for a little bit longer, you may feel god awful rn but that too shall pass

(Maybe this is how Iva-chan starts calling Crocodile "Crocoboy", just to get him to warm up to the idea that he could be(come) a man, get used to it etc)

Crocodile has an identity crisis of a lifetime. Like either he knew since he was a small child that something was fucky wucky, or he never realized it until now, either way, he must not have even been aware of the idea that he could trans his gender (which would make sense if Ivankov only recently got their Fruit just sayin'). So yeah. Enjoy that gender crisis, dumbass

Like he straight up just goes through the five stages of grief before he's like "god dammit if it'll make me feel less like I'll kill myself then it's worth a shot, don't care what Dragon ends up thinking"

At some point Croc must've contacted Dragon at least one final time just so they can agree on when and where they'll meet to hand over the baby once it's born (if Croc doesn't die at child birth. I mean they both know he'll be fine, Croc's survived worse. But if something did happen, Iva-chan will take care of the baby until Dragon arrives)

This is One Piece. Luffy was born at dawn.

Crocodile probably insists on getting the T literally immidiately after the baby is out. If he doesn't just pass out immidiately after giving birth. But like within 24 hours of giving birth. Iva-chan is probably like "Crocoboy you're exhausted, chill, your cooch needs to recover" and he's just like "why wait for it to recover when you're going to get rid of it, just do it"

(Iva-chan probably goes and gets Croc some emergency clothes and like bottles and baby food etc because god knows he's going to burst out of his old clothes and he ain't gonna have the tiddies to breastfeed that baby either)

Anyway he gets the rones and gets to enjoy gender euphoria for the first time in his life. Happy times, happy tears, a happy croc

Dude probably nearly shits himself when he tries to speak as he is now voiced by Ryuuzaburo Fucking Ootomo (even Iva-chan is like "HOLY SHIT your voice dropped") (like they probably agressively try to encourage Crocodile to speak more and let them hear that voice and Croc is like "ssssshhhhhhhhh stop yelling you'll wake up the baby!!")

Anyway he finally gets to fucking rest and relax and enjoy the sheer relief of not just being free of his dysphoria but also his baby boy being born and looking all healthy and happy. A happy dad

(If Crocodile was the first person Iva-chan helped transition, and under these circumstances specifically. I think seeing the guy and his sheer relief would give like Iva-chan a new mission in life. To help people like Croc)

(Ivankov: "It's like a great weight has been lifted off your chest... GET IT, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TITS ANYMORE! HEEHAW!!" / 🐊: "If you wake up the baby I will skewer you")

Anyway if the Rev Army member stays with Crocodile for too long there's a risk of them getting found out and that'd be bad, so Iva-chan needs to GTFO (they have better things to do, like overthrow some governments and stuff). Also Crocodile needs to prepare because he can't have the Government wondering where the fuck he's been all these months much longer (god knows explaining his sudden manliness is going to be enough to deal with) and the kid needs to go into hiding. If Iva-chan asks where the child is going, Croc probably won't give a straight answer, just that there's a plan and he needs Ivankov to keep the baby a secret etc (perhaps that could be the blackmail Iva-chan brought up in Impel Down 🤔)

Crocodile gets to spend a little time with his baby boy (before and/or after Iva-chan leaves). Crocodiles (the animals) look after their babies for three months before they're on their own, so at most he stayed with his baby for three months, though I'd argue just 3 weeks, simply because that'd a painfully short amount of time that's just perfect for tragic storytelling

Perhaps that was the happiest time of Croc's life. No stupid Government to deal with, no pirates to fight, no villages to pillage. Just him and his beautiful baby boy. Not even the knowledge of knowing he'd have to say goodbye to his son forever would get in the way of his happiness at that moment.

(Did he ever think about what to name the child? Maybe Dragon had wanted Crocodile to name their child and Crocodile was supposed to think of something while expecting, before the baby was born. Or maybe, knowing he would never see that child again (until the Government blows up) he could not bring himself to think of a name. It'd be Dragon's father who'd look after the baby anyways, Dragon should name him)

Dragon comes. Either exactly at the agreed upon time, or perhaps a day early (dude was too excited and wanted to be with his wife and child, together as a family, even if it was for a day). Whenever he arrives;

See the chart earlier in the post

However things go down, Dragon and Crocodile go their separate ways. Crocodile leaves the island immidiately.

Well. I certainly became absolutely deranged writing this.

HOPE YOU FOUND THAT ENTERTAINING

[fandomwe1rd0]

Wrote about Rick's guilt and the aftermath of the heist episode babyyy

TW FOR SLIGHT SELF HARM AND MENTION OF SUICIDE

I drove and my gaze kept falling to Morty, he was looking down at the floor with a frown on his face, now that little shit knows how I feel on a daily basis"The difference is that you deserve it. But you just traumatized this poor kid because you are an insecure fucker." The voice in my head sneered at me. God does it ever shut up? Another one chimed in "You should just kill him right here and now, he's Prime's grandson, you can stop him from continuing the Prime bloodline." I shook my head, jesus they never shut up. I tried my best to ignore them, it didn't really work, but I need to focus! I have a role to play "You know buddy...you miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Morty shrugged, his expression unchanging "I guess...thanks for staying positive about my prospects Rick..." I nodded "Of course! Y'know gotta help my grandson follow his dreams!" Morty shrugged again "Eh, who needs dreams? I'll just go on adventures with you and do whatever you wanna do y'know...forever." I couldn't stop the twisted smile that formed on my face, Rick and Morty 100 years. I wasn't going to let that go. I can't let the only thing keeping me from sprialing down a bottomless pit go. I wasn't going to let him go just so he could make a dumbass heist movie for 7 movie critics that have no life. I rubbed the back of my head, not forgetting the role I had to play "Oh well I mean sure...if that's what you want." Everything went according to plan. I'm not about to fucking lose him to Netflix, how pathetic would that be?This was fucked up, I knew it, I'm not a fucking idiot, but what was I supposed to do, just stand by and lose him? Let myself sink deeper because I don't have him by my side? Reminding me of why I don't just kill myself already? Watching him go away from me just like how Unity did? My grip on the steering wheel tighten at the thought. No. I wasn't about to fucking lose Morty. I need him.

We got home quickly and I was about to talk to Morty but he quickly walked away that little shit! I grabbed onto his arm "Hey, what's the rush?" Morty looked down with a sigh "C-Can I just leave?" He asked, his voice slightly cracking. I didn't realize that my grip on him tighten at the sound of his voice cracking. "Morty-" "Please?" I looked down at my hand on his arm, I was almost gripping it tight enough to leave a mark, I sighed and let him go.He left and I couldn't help but feel him difting away. No. Fuck no.

I ran to his room, already forming a plan to get him to stay, I tried to open the door but it was locked. I lifted my hand up, ready to bang on the door and demand him to let me in. But then I heard him sniffling. I stopped and continued listening in, pressing my ear against the door, I heard sobs rattle from his chest, I dug my fingernails into my hands, hoping to distract myself from the fact that I was upset by hearing that fucker, Prime's grandson, crying. I should be happy! So why the fuck was I not? "W-what was I thinking?" I heard his voice squeak between sobs. "I-I can't hold onto a single dream"

...

Fuck.

What was wrong with me? I felt my legs grow weak as I fell to the floor, my ear still pressed to a door "I-I can't be excited about anything anymore..."

I looked at my portal gun, I didn't realize my grip on it was so tight that it had a crack. I was such a piece of shit. Listening to my grandson cry after I ruined his dreams."You dumb piece of shit, this isn't your grandson, remember? It's Prime's. Remember him? The fucker that killed your wife? That made you into the monster you are now?

You can't even be happy to see you broke your worst enemy's grandson down to tears, pathetic."

I traumatized him. But I had to. If I didn't he would've left me. I need him. He's all I have.

"God you need a 14-year-old? You realize how pathetic you sound right? You can just get another Morty, why are you so irrationally attached to this one?"

I didn't have a reason for that. God must hate me. Out of everyone in the multiverse, in infinite dimensions, I just had to be attached to Prime's grandson. And hearing him cry wasn't helping my self-esteem get any better, but it's hard for it to get lower.

I took my portal gun and shoot a portal to Morty's room, I walked through it and saw Morty hugging his knees, sobbing into them. His sobbing was so loud that he didn't even notice that I came in "You can kill him right now. Do it. Do it. Don't be a fucking pussy."SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm not going to kill Morty okay!? For chirst's sake."Why not? You can always just get another one. Why let Prime's relative live, you can always just get another Morty."

I can't. I fucking can't. I need this one in particular. I don't fucking know why but the thought of replacing him was out of the question. I need him. I don't fucking know why. I don't know why the universe played this sick joke and made me need my worst enemy's grandson instead of just being able to kill him, but I do. If God is real (which I seriously doubt) he's the biggest dick to ever exist. Next to maybe me."Who are you kidding? You know you're a bigger dick. At least God doesn't manipulate little kids so they'll stay with him. Fucking creep."SHUT UP! WILL IT EVER SHUT UP?! I ALREADY KNOW I'M A PIECE OF SHIT! I DON'T NEED A THOUSAND REMINDERS OF IT EVERY SECOND!I stomped on my foot, the pain makes the voices a little quieter and I sat on the foot of Morty's bed, I reached my hand out to him but before I could do anything, he looked up at me, and dove in my chest with very little hesitation. God this kid was like a puppy. So desprate for affection. "He wouldn't be doing this if he knew what you did. He would hate you. He probably does!"My body tensed up. I knew the voice was right but...I wanted to let myself have this.I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled into those dumb soft brown curls, cursing myself for being weak hating how much it comforted me. As the word weak echoed echoed echoed through my head.Morty sniffled "Rick..I-I'm sorry for being so weak..." I couldn't answer. Couldn't let him know that I was the one that did this. That it had to be done so I couldn't lose him. The sick satisfaction I felt at pulling it off. "Th-thanks for being here to comfort me..." I fely my grip around him tighten as my stomach churned. He sniffed "I..I lov-" "Shut up." I spat out, voice gruffer than I intended. Morty flinched and looked up at me. I couldn't hear him say it. I didn't deserve it."The kid's lying. You're unlovable. Everyone knows it. He's a master manipulator, just like his grandpa. It runs in the family, why are you keeping him alive again? Because you 'need' him? You can't even keep yourself stable without pushing the responsibility on a teenager who's not even old enough to drive? God you're pathetic."Mortys dumb squeaky voice spoke again "I was just going to say that I-" "You never know when to shut the fuck up do you!? God you're so annoying!" I flinched when I realized what I said. Fuck. It happened again. I became an asshole without even consciously doing it."You're just an asshole. That's why you were such a dick. Why do you have to fuck up everything you touch? You fucking scum, infecting anytiing around you like a fucking virus."Goddamit it was right.

I was having a perfectly fine moment, and I fucked it up because I'm a fucking asshole. I fuck everything up. I quickly saw his eyes become wet again. I couldn't see this."What can't deal with the conquences of your actions? So you're not only a piece of shit..but a coward as well. Of course, that's why Diane died. Because you just stood there as the bomb fell to her feet like the pussy you are."It was right.I opened a portal to my bedroom, and just laid in my bed. I was too exhausted to sleep but when the sun came out, I couldn't find a reason to get off my mattress.

[avareiahgt]

My littles!! I've been trying to scratch some seconds per day to write a bit. I got this but zero time to edit it so I hope it won't be so bad.

I'll be back soon!

GT JULY PROMPTS 2024

DAY 6: GRIT

-A little help here would be appreciated- Yaiza's voice filled my ears snapping me out from my reading.

-I guess your parents punished you all alone because you deserved it. You're lucky they've let me be your companion while they're out- I said. She'd pulled a prank to an older guy in school that had been chasing one of her friends to be her girlfriend even when the girl had already declined twice. Guy's head and half body would be wearing blue paint for some days since it wasn't the kind that could be washed off easily.

Of course, principal Ivy caught her and gave her parents a call. So here we were, her parents took her to the old plot of land they owned near the limits of Older's side of the city and ordered her to clean all the mess nature had made for some months unattended.

To be honest, it was barbaric work to be done for just one teenager, but she endured it. She had been working for some hours and just cleaned an eighth part of the dust, branches, rocks and wild herbs.

-You know, you would spend like ten minutes doing it with me- she tried.

-Correction, doing it for you- i said while going back to my half read book. I could spend a few more hours reading out on nature. Also, seeing her hardworking was a little reward for all the trouble that she always put on me covering her mistakes, forgetfulness and failed pranks...

-We will make a deal, Connor- she started. That was dangerous, she always knew how to attach my attention.

-Please, don't - I already knew I was going to say 'yes'.

-You grow Newman height, clean this mess with two sweeps of those big hands and I spend my weekly pay on buying you all the books you want.

While my brain was jumping of joy, my face was fighting trying not to show her I already fell on her trap.

-I guess I could stretch myself a bit...

I sat up from the wooden bench and stepped closer to her. I waved my hand at her and she looked at me with confusion.

-Please, step back, I don't wanna overwhelm you- she nodded, smiling- . And, please, stop staring at me like that. I feel awfully weird.

-Sorry, it's just so unrealistic.

I got it, still I felt embarrassed when someone stared at me without a wink. Far worse when they became so tiny in front of my eyes. Well, not that they shrunk or something, more like the opposite. But that was my sensation.

Her eyes played the trick of looking to the grounds, darting between me and the sky for some seconds.

I steaded my breath and waste just one second on chaging sizes. It was almost instantly. It always was. When I looked down again, my hips surpassed the trees, the enormous parcel now half occupied by feet felt so ridiculously small.

And there my sight caught a glimpse of Yaiza's form, so far away from me, so tiny and fragile and weak. And yet, so important and strong and present.

My fears started to get the best of my calm behaviour when I started to feel too much big and clumsy.

I couldn't sit down without crushing all the natural remains that had to be cleaned out from the property, so I lowered my self on a knee looking directly to her.

She opened her mouth but no sound came out.

I was aware that would happen. So i decided to speak first.

-Let's do it fast, where do you want the wood and rocks?- I slowly gestured to the amount of fall trees and wooden rests.

-Ugh... - her voice was... so soft, not the usual loud anymore- I guess you could just break it into smaller pieces and put them out of the field?

-Please stay away, I could hurt you if some piece slips and falls...- working around people the size of your index finger was always so stressful.

-Don't worry about me, brainy, I'll stay fine by myself- she said, but backpedaled anyways.

Without taking an eye from her, I hold a bunch of wastes with a hand and carefully strengthen my grip on it. Crunchy sounds gave me a shiver before I threw it to the forest on my side, hoping no one was near to hear the sound of that falling.

Yaiza's face fell from amazement, since I was getting done in a second a task that would take her several hours.

-You're telling you could get this done in a minute and instead kept watching me struggling with it for hours?!

I tried to hold back a smile, but it turned out I couldn't.

-It was your punishment, not mine- and if their parents'd know I was a sizeshifter, there'd have been no way to convince them to accompany Yaiza on her task.

-I'm gonna kick your big ass once you get down here.

I dropped on the side another pile of thrash just in time to see her walking towards me to check the new empty space.

-Don't get too near...-I advised her, but she kept going.

-Yaiza, please, don't- a teasing smirk appeared on her face as I pleaded for her safety.

The last fistful of waste got almost pulverized when her proximity got me on my nerves. I tightened my grip so hard some dust and grit covered her from head to toe.

She looked at me with wide eyes and then covered herself with both arms. I shook my hand away, carelessly throwing the rest farther away than I meant to, just trying to protect her from the falling debris.

Yaiza coughed and took her hands to her face, trying to clean up at least her eyes.

-Are you ok?! Why won't you ever listen to me?- my hands flew to surround her. They stopped dead when I accounted the speed and size of them in comparison to Yaiza. Then, just left them like a barrier, never touching her body.

She didn't tremble or doubt me when she found herself surrounded by my humongous hands. Holy... they dwarfed her even when she was usually taller than me. Not that she cared.

-Stop being worried, it was just some dust.

-It could have been a branch or a rock and it would collapse right over you!

-Connor, stop screaming, they're going to listen to you back at the city.

She eyed my hands while I shut up.

-Your hands are a mess- she inched towards my left hand and got some little pieces of rocks and wood, dropping them onto the ground.

-It's just dirtiness. We'll be done here in a second, but I would be so much happier if you were at safety distance.

-Don't you think we've worked here enough? I guess it would take me days to get the job you've done for me. I could use some rest.

My privilege to have a panoramic view of the land told me she was right, around 2/3 of the parcel was already free of garbage. It would cover Yaiza's work worth for more than a week.

-I could use some books- I smiled.

[thuganomxcs]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

If we're speaking in the canon sense like in his universe I really do like the idea of yusuke x botan because I like the aspects of him with death...not to mention he's a devil now too soo. I still love Yusuke x Keiko tho just so the peeps know there's no hatred for our girl.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

Anything like a muse being a fucking minor and the other almost hitting their 40's. There's ONE particular verse that does this shit but this ain't about them. As long as you don't ship your literal grown man/woman with a literal definition of a child then I wouldn't have to be disturbed.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFT?

The minute a hand touches a boob or the clothes begin to fly off I'm guessing it's considered NSFW.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

LOL I'd say I am..but people have known to just show up, write with me and in a day of our muses vibing we're already shipping them. I MEAN if I have to be selective I'd say..as long as she's a woman XD

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Where do I even begin?? First of all I gotta go with the one that started this and that's @belovedblossoms Hiyori. She was the first person I've ever shipped Yusuke with and that relationship has started from not so disney friendly beginnings but entertaining as shit. Then there's @lady-llewellyn El who just ruins the guy, I swear in this ship Yusuke is the innocent one in the relationship no cap. We got @itmeanspeace Shiloh, this one started off just plain physical until she became attached, lol look at me talk as if Yusuke didn't catch feelings too..probably first since he's still kinda technically a human. Give it up for @swordsxandxsakuras Nezuko, the first one to actually go the full nine yards with him to dating all the way down to married with kids. Then there's my homie @fatexbound Chie I wouldn't CALL it a relationship yet but they're definitely in that phase in getting to know one another. You know I gotta put my home girl @adversitybloomed Mulan, who's probably seen everything there is to who Yusuke is as a character, she's been with him as a pervert all the way to him being nice and doing stuff for people. She's also helped him with his family life might have bribed him to go to college but in the end Yusuke proposed to her and it's actually the first REAL proposal I've written as him. I also can't use the term ship without mentioning @bravesung old OC Alyssa, she was definitely a special one who refused to buy into what people said about him, and after discovering he was supernatural (to a degree) just like her it got them to bonding. She's probably believed in him more than he did in himself when it came down to school because she NEVER let him quit HELL she brought his ass TO school whilst he was still sleeping in bed, picture that in your minds if you will. I got good ships and there's even this unhealthy one right here with my girl @acoldsovereign Maiz, tons of ships starts with curiosity, cute moments and even love at first sight and this one is just violence, one devil often tries to get the other devil to dig into those natural urges and forsake his human heart (that literally isn't even working anymore) and just behave like a demon, there's also acts of public terrorism but he'd punch her right..and she'd kick him wrong, it's a tug and pull with 'em. Bruh this segment is getting long since belovedblossom also has other muses that are shipped with Yusuke too and i have a feelin we'd be here ALL day and I've still got a few to talk about. Just know I love all y'alls muses.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

Nah, I mean if we write and there's a connection then I'd say let 'em go for it. EVEN IF you came to me writing Keiko and you're worried about shipping with me cause you'd think it's forced and i'm obligated to because of the canon then don't. It'd still be cool in my book.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

I'm not ship obsessed but I would say it's a fun thing to have cause when you're talkin' to your homies and the muses come u you can talk about the ship, or how a song reminds you of them. Shipping whether it's romantically, platonically or familial, they bring us together as writers and we because better pals cause of it. Cause there's always something to talk about when we wanna forget about that bill we can't pay.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

Let me tell you something about my fandom on tumblr: It hardly exists XDD there's really only a handful of us.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

Simple, we write. If there's chemistry between the muses well then your muse has got themselves a partner. He's by no means an easy person to love but once you've got him you've got someone that'll be there for your muse indefinitely. And if ya wanna discuss the possibility then my DMs are always open..even if i'm terribly slow with 'em.

tagged: @vartouhix

tagging: Y'all gonna have to steal this one homies. Tag me when ya do cause imma read it.

[mushroomnoodles]

its no problem at all- i quite love your comments! this does, however, make me want to go into some further detail on simon's journey and emotional state and just.. events during his pregnancy with morrigan. granted, i'm no writer- i'm much more of an artist, but i guess this kinda stuff has me thinking a lot? so sorry if it's weird.

tw for the sfw and non kink mpreg talk ofc, also i touch on simon being depressed and feeling like a burden again. but there's fluff in there too i swear! not tagging this under art because.. i didn't actually draw anything but myself. lol

i think something i find really fascinating, especially from personal experience, is how hard it is to change your frame of mind. it takes long, consistent effort, and you generally have to want to do it. simon becomes pregnant with morrigan, oh.. i don't know, 6-10 months after the events of F + C? he's 60 years old, physically at least. he's going to therapy and staying away from the bar, he's going outside for walks to get that sunlight and appreciate nature.

then GOLBetty dumps a baby in him. simon isn't instantly attached to the baby yet- this whole thing is sudden and terrifying. his mind is racing with thoughts of some terrifying chaos entity inside him, because god knows it's not a normal child with the way pb's equipment has been literally blown to smithereens at the mere attempt to monitor the fetus.

but he's refusing to terminate the pregnancy, because betty had to have wanted this for him if she did it. they wanted kids before everything happened, and she did so much for him- gave up her ambitions, her body, her humanity- she was asking this one thing from him, and it was the absolute least he could do in return.

also.. betty's not coming back. ever. not as his betty. this is a piece of her she's given to him. a parting gift. how could he ever let that go?

even at risk of death or worse, he couldn't bring himself to do it. and simon starts to struggle again, even if he tries to resume his life- he's so hyperaware of this thing growing inside him, and because of its mother he doesn't dare say or announce anything. he agrees with pb on that part- carrying a child of GOLB(etty) is definitely not something any of them want to make public.

he refuses minervabot's therapy in fear she'll detect his pregnancy, or worse, fucking explode.

simon's so guilty and yet so determined by his sense of duty to betty- betty wouldn't do this if she knew it would destroy ooo, he rationalizes, she wouldn't do this if it would kill him, surely? (golbaby, aware unbeknownst to simon, hears his fretting and decides to take a form that closely resembles his own, because they don't want to scare him.)

but simon's a dad at heart. of course he's going to warm up to the baby. and subconsciously, constantly defending betty's decision (to the girls and in his mind) slowly wears down his apprehension, too. and then he finally feels golbaby kick and it's scary because it's new but it's nothing like he thought it was going to be if he was carrying some.. inherently evil chaos entity his deepest fears (and pb, gently) were telling him it was. (not that he wouldn't have loved it in some degree anyway. look at him.) it was more.. just like a gentle reminder that the thing in him is, y'know, alive. like.. alive. it's just a little guy. huh.

and suddenly it's not really about betty's wish as much, it's about.. like.. getting ready to be a parent to this little guy inside him! and there is so much to do and prepare for. even with golbaby's powers sparking up and effecting the world around him in bizarre ways, simon is more and more convinced that it's just.. a baby. a baby what, he had no clue, but it was a baby, and it was going to be his.

but simon is still shutting down his life around him, because he has to. he's getting bigger and he can't really hide his pregnancy constantly anymore. he shuts down his exhibit and has to go out hunched over in his big ass bulky coat, and it's not too long before he simply leaves the human city altogether, because golbaby is fucking with any machine he passes by. and he's not about to be like, "oh no, i'm not trying to break your stuff, i'm just pregnant with the offspring of the most powerful cosmic entity known and it's an unfortunate side effect. sorry"

being alone is hard! especially when the pregnancy symptoms got worse he just found himself missing betty, not just in the normal way but the, yknow, you knocked me up and i could really use some emotional support way. but also in the please god i just wanna be a little spoon rn way. marceline was there for him (assured him he could call her anytime, too) but he wasn't calling her as much as he should. he didn't want to bug her too much. he knew the whole ordeal was freaking her out anyway, and he tended to keep his innermost thoughts to himself when she'd take him out to see pb. pb wasn't helping either, and neither was constantly seeing the effect the baby had on her equipment.

seeing yourself as something other than a burden and an outcast is a hard thing to get rid of, and sometimes he'd just cling to that idea of pushing onwards because somebody is relying on him now- even when the depression had its really bad point simon was pushing himself to take care of himself because golbaby was depending on him to. he still dragged himself to the store to buy groceries and shit, just for his kiddo. this idealogy didn't last- that he was simply going on because his baby needed him to, but it was a good way to keep his head above the water. simon feeling as though he has a purpose keeps him going through extremely difficult times.

things look up again when unexpectedly fionna and cake pay a visit to his new place in the woods. he tries to hide that he's pregnant- he has been since the start, but it doesn't work in person. he kinda breaks down and has a heart to heart with fionna, and they just sort of end up having tv dinners while sitting on the kitchen floor with cake as a pillow.

it gives him some time out of his head. helps him remember all that stuff minerva told him about handling his feelings and coping with them. he goes back to his walks (and getting that sweet sunshine) and i particularly enjoy imagining him awkwardly asking marceline if she wants to come over for dinner.. he has this board game he wants to try and he needs two people..

he finally says yes to the clothes shopping offer too after a while, and fionna keeps in close touch with him to make sure he's doing ok! simon loves listening to her stories and whatever is happening in his little brain universe. plus, he actually goes out and eats or shops sometimes! wow! he bought a lava lamp! cool!

and even when pb ends up placing that seal on him, he keeps his head up and focuses on those things to keep his mood and social life up because he's not about to let himself go back to that state of being again. you got this dr petrikov.

plus, when pb finally builds a machine that can handle golbaby's power and he finally, finally gets to hear their little, very much human heartbeat? he is over the fucking moon. getting to see that ever so fuzzy outline of the baby on the sonogram? serotonin +10000. there it is! simon doesn't happy cry often but he was happy bawling holding that little picture like a lifeline.

(side note, fionna is very entertained by how sassy he gets during the last few months of his pregnancy when golbaby is sealed. simon's filter is slacking. marceline's pretty amused, too.)

he feels like he can hold his own again, sort of, i guess? and golbaby is very much still his purpose, but he knows just being alive is good enough. maybe he still doesn't entirely believe it yet, but he keeps saying it aloud and in his brain so eventually he will.

uh, i was a human being who also felt like i had to have purpose to justify living. soo.. the ups and downs of the journey are important to me, cause i had them too! i'm still growing and learning (and i have a lot of work to do, i'm pretty young) but. idk. shakes simon around like a chew toy