#i guess everyone likes to put their favorite characters into emotional he’ll

[ryuichirou]

Replies

More replies! Related to our KaliJami comic + our post from yesterday, and, as always, about some other stuff. There are also some spicier ones at the end of the post.

Anonymous asked:

I'm guessing the latest comic is before they became first years.

Yep! I don’t know if we got any info about how exactly it went in canon, but I’m guessing Kalim didn’t take the fact that they would be separated for the first time very well.

Ironically, I think he got over it right before he got transferred to the NRC lol And all that emotional growth (well, an attempt) went out the window.

Anonymous asked:

Jamil's side of KaliJami is basically that one post that's like 'my favorite trope is when a character realizes they're in love with another character and instead of being cute about it, they're just like "No, fuck, god why?!"'

Yeah, exactly! If Jamil really was to realise that he is in love with Kalim, it would probably be the worst news ever for him lol He’d probably be disappointed in himself too…

Anonymous asked:

Azul X Jamil is the definition of comedy, while Kalim X Jamil is the definition of tragedy. Yeah, I wonder if Azul and Kalim is jealous to one another?

That’s a nice way to look at it, Anon. And together they create an absolute insanity in Jamil’s mind lol

I don’t think Kalim would be jealous at first. He seems to be genuinely happy when Jamil gets along with someone. If anything, if he found out that Jamil slept with Azul, he would assume that Jamil is in love with him and that they are dating, and would try to support them. But I still feel like deep inside he would feel the sting of jealousy, similarly to how he felt it when Jamil was chosen instead of him as a lead vocalist in ch5. How far is he going to take this jealousy? Who knows. Maybe we’ll play around with this theme in the future.

Azul, on the other hand, is very jealous by nature, plus easily annoyed by naïve and gullible people. So while he isn’t antagonistic towards Kalim (he is an Asim after all, Azul has to stay friendly with him), he would still definitely feel jealous. His relationship with Jamil is supposed to be mutually beneficial and not romantic, but Azul has a crush, so of course he’s going to be petty about it lol Nothing of this will be shown to Kalim, he’s way to profitable for Azul to put his own feelings above his gain

Anonymous asked:

Has Ortho been jealous about anyone close to Vil? I knew you talked about Neige but what about Jack. They knew each other way longer than anyone. And what about Rook? Sure Ortho likes him...but we know who he is.

It’s always a bit weird with Ortho and honestly depends on a scenario you want to go with, because the whole jealousy spectrum is possible with this boy lol

I can easily see him coexisting with Rook and Jack and all those people, but I can also see him trying to act like everything is okay, but feeling extremely jealous and possessive. He isn’t used to sharing – his closes person (Idia) is entirely his own, and while he wants him to make friends, he knows that Idia isn’t going anywhere. But Vil is popular, and there are a lot of eyes on him, and a lot of people are close to him.

I don’t think he’ll have a rivalry with Rook – I actually feel like they would bond over their possessiveness in a weird way lol But I can also see Ortho getting teasing and clingy with Vil, just to assert his dominance and make everyone remember that even though there are other people close to Vil, he, Ortho, is the most special boy.

Anonymous asked:

Thoughts on malleus x cater 🤔 the size difference is surely something to consider

Replied here!

In general, every Malleus is great because of just how big he is… all the other characters are so small next to him~

Anonymous asked:

i'm the exceptions anon, and thank you for answering, that makes a lot of sense!

Of course! <3 I’m glad I managed to clarify what I meant.

Anonymous asked:

I’m not sure if you’ve answered something like this before, but what are your thoughts on mobs with characters? The beach scene in book 5 has a lot of…potential…with Deuce and Epel

Anon wait

Anon let me grab the loudest mic in the universe

YES.

We absolutely love anything with mobs, doujins and scenarios with mobs in general are one of our absolute favourites LOL I can’t even stress just HOW MUCH WE LOVE IT.

And YES THE BEACH SCENE IN BOOK 5!!! Of course Deuce and Epel managed to not only escape but also fight the guys, but the potential… the potential is too sweet not to think about how else the scene could’ve ended. Deuce and Epel are also kind of perfect for this type of thing, both of them are so cute and pretty, and oh how horrible it would be for them to get outnumbered and mistreated for being so cute. Especially Epel, who basically seduced them with his cuteness in the actual scene anyway lol

In general, twst has a surprising amount of scenes that could lead to steamy mob/character sex, but I guess this is what happens when 85% of the student body consists of spooky douchebags with no eyes.

I gotta draw something with mobs one day…

Anonymous asked:

Flojami when Floyd fucks Jamil brutally and pulls his hair real hard that's when Jamil realized he's a bit of a masochist (<- would never admit it)

See, this is why Jamil doesn’t like being around the octa-boys: they make him learn a lot of things about himself LOL but never to this degree, this is purely Floyd’s merit.

But yeah, Floyd is probably the most perfect sexual partner to unlock Jamil’s inner masochist: he’s mean, he’s chaotic and he doesn’t give a shit. Jamil would tell him to never do this type of stuff without permission (or AT ALL!!), but they both know that the fact that Jami didn’t expect it made it much more pleasurable to him.

Anonymous asked:

I finally got around to reading your dad hcs, and because I am obsessed with diasomnia forever and ever, I cannot stop thinking about Silver as a dad.... Would he have sex with his own kid(s) if he thinks it's just as normal as any other parent-child activities or training? He's such a good man, and if he followed his instincts more, he would be the perfect dad, but if he's trying to immitate his beloved father's parenting.... 😔

Sdfsdf ANOOOON!!! 😭 The Vanrouge methods of alternative fae parenting survives another generation. This is so beautifully cursed.

Well to be completely fair, I doubt Silver would do it, because, just like you’ve said, he has his good man instincts, and they usually lead to him making right decisions. He also has some common sense (despite Lilia’s hard work…), which we’ve seen in that vignette in which Sebek and he tried to take care of a baby bat.

At the same time, Silver definitely doesn’t think that him having sex with Lilia was a bad thing, SO LOL I guess the only reason he wouldn’t do it to his own kids would be because he wouldn’t want to.

But at the same time!!

Would Silver think at any point think that it’s his responsibility to teach the young ones how to fuck someone properly, i.e. lend his butt to them for educational purposes? He would. And he would be so proud of their achievements…

Raising an army of future little Lilia Vanrouges, one tiny top at a time.

[aforrestofstuff]

Forrest's Expert Chapter Reviews (166): The Super-Duper Crying in the Bathtub Special Edition!!

Murata released a chapter today. People died.

(BTW there are webcomic spoilers in here so read at your own risk. Thanks! Please enjoy. You're required to by law.)

I just want everyone to know this chapter came out at like 9am (Yeehaw Standard Time) this morning; I was just getting through my routine, sitting down for breakfast. I heard the Discord notification on my phone. I got excited, looking to read this delightful manga with my Frosted Flakes, then I open to this fucking shit on the first page and I put my spoon down and had to sit there for ten fucking minutes to fight these demons.

Hey dawg what the fuck haha

Okay sure, the adults can get a billion tumors in ten minutes and fall over and die but when it happens to the kids??? I dont like that!! I mean this in an affectionate "you broke my heart" sort of way, by the by. I like that the fandom-appointed dads were the first to drop down and help. I like that Zombieman canonically has stubby fucking hands. I like that we get this interaction between him and Isamu. It was painful to look at but I don't hate that it happened. Yep.

I'm gonna be real honest and admit my media illiteracy here, I thought the reason Saitama had a nosebleed in the last chapter was because Garou clocked his shit, and the reason Badd got his nosebleed was that, through a series of complex equations and reaches, Batarou is canon. However, none of those are true, and turns out they're all just getting super-duper radiation poisoning and I'm not sure Saitama's 3 years of working out made him immune to cancer but we'll see about that.

Side note: Badd is one of the only ones who felt the effects of the radiation before everyone else did. Badd also has "dynamic vision" and superb reflexes. You know that scene in Infinity War where, after the snap, Peter Parker can feel it long before he actually disappears due to his spider-sense? Where am I going with this.

Badd has spider sense babeyyy kachow !

Side side note: You know who else felt the effects of the radiation before Saitama and Badd? That's right baby!

"I can feel it in my skin" dawg that's the cancer LMAOOO

Side side side note: Now that we're on the topic of Zombieman (again), it makes sense that he's not immune to the radiation because it's probably killing his cells faster than he can regenerate. That, and he's fucking exhausted at this point. Still though... I'll bet he was the last one standing as all his coworkers collapsed around him. Reminds me of after-work parties at Applebee's haha kachow

I was right when I said Blast would come beat Garou's ass... but at what cost.

Also, I thought he'd bring the Justice League but I guess they've got better fucking shit to do??? Than fight GOD??? LITERAL GOD?? Okay.

Also Bang telling God to give Garou back haha this is not a tear falling down my cheek it's just... spinal fluid...

So, Garou is definitely not being 100% controlled by God but he is being influenced in some capacity, so I can see this kinda growing into an intense fear/trauma of being manipulated/controlled in post-arc Garou. Especially during the neo-heroes arc when Suiryu attempts to capture him.

When Garou sobers after being beaten by Saitama and he sees what he’s done, it’s a mixed bag of emotions. We know he isolates himself post-arc--he already is in the manga with Tareo because he thinks the closer he gets to those he cares for, the more he’ll hurt them. With that being said, will he self-isolate in the manga because he becomes scared of himself? With all his introspection and meditating under waterfalls, will he come to think that all he does is hurt those he cares about? Will he think he doesn’t deserve to love anyone? Find out next time on Forrest Learns How to Read!

I love the idea of Garou spiraling into a self-loathing cocoon because seeing him in pain brings me joy and--yes, he's one of my favorite characters. Why do you ask?

. ok

um. anyways.

haha cool

oh. he's holding Genos' heart. 👍

I'm on my knees praying for christ to strike me down right now.

Ok I'm done with this bit lmao I kinda wanted to build comedic suspense but I can't commit. I'm gonna write an essay on Genos' "death" now.

Really hard to believe he's actually dead and that's ONE's damn fault for faking us out at least twice before (Mumen Rider, Tanktop Master) so I'm not really feeling the suspense to this. ("durrrr but there's not gonna be suspense!! tHat'S wHaT sAiTaMA is FOr!!!" you Redditors are fucking dorks and I hate you.)

BUT. I could be wrong and if I am, feel free to send a dark web hitman my way and strike me down for good!

Regardless, if (when) Genos comes back, he's not gonna be the same. He shouldn't be the same because then what the fuck was all that for?? Anywho, I'm kinda feeling an amnesia storyline? Is he even going to remember this? Is he even going to--gasp--remember Saitama?

Half his fucking brain is gone. As far as we know, having his entire conscience saved to the cloud requires at LEAST 20$ of iCloud per month and we know Kuseno's cheap ass ain't gonna pay for that so, what's he gonna do? Make do, baby!

ONE loves his opposites, loves his narrative foils. Genos has been wanting to get closer to Saitama the entire manga and if the tables turn to Saitama wanting to get closer to Genos during his recovery, out of guilt, maybe, then I think that'll be really interesting. Genos and Garou have been mirroring each other in a lot of ways; I think they're going to have a similar "finding oneself" post-arc.

Either that or Genos is going to be like every upper-middle-class white guy's mystery Mercedes: perpetually "in the shop" until the end of time, dead but dreaming.

So, aside from that: Garou purposefully ripped Genos' heart out because he knew it would make Saitama get serious. Saitama then holds Genos' heart in one hand and beats Garou with the other........... Saigenos Fans please spare Batarou Nation some crumbs PLEASE we haven't eaten for WEEKS (good for you though).

In conclusion:

I should've never learned how to fucking read.

[pythors-pandemic]

SO YOURE GONNA TELL ME TOMMY’S FAVORITE QUOTE WAS A PIXANE ONE BUT THEN HE IMPLIES THAT SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO THEM IN THE NEXT SEASON??? TOMMY WTF

[sondepoch]

HC: Married life with the boys!

With one chaotic human and a handful of boys too attractive for their own good, it's always been a simple matter of time before love found its way into the Devildom. And where love blooms, marriage often follows—and nothing will stop these boys from giving their human all the love in the world.

Word Count: 5.9k

*Mild NSFW themes for Beel & Diavolo ;)

Characters: All Brothers + Undateables - Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

It highkey blows everyone’s mind when the two of you get married

Because absolutely nothing changes

Lucifer still reprimands you if you do something ridiculous, he still crosses his arms and frowns when you tease him, he still sends a scowl your way when you mess around with Diavolo - if anything, the two of you are distant, and alarmingly so to everyone who gazes upon the supposedly happy couple

But that’s only because they can’t see what goes down in private

And yes - the grass is greener behind the closed door of Lucifer’s study

It was different when the two of you were simply in a relationship: Lucifer’s pride was always there. He would allow you to have your way with him, touch his hair and kiss him and hold him, but he could only reciprocate so much

But now that you’re married?

If anything, Lucifer’s pride dictates that he now has to be open with you, the single person he trusts more than anyone else in the world

Something that he can only do in private

And honestly - you savor moments when you’re alone with him because of it

For the first time, he is the one to initiate contact. The barrier of pride is broken, and in its place lingers Lucifer’s neverending desire to be wrapped in your arms

It doesn’t matter if you’re smaller than him, you are big spoon

You pamper him, giving him all the forehead kisses and tight hugs and quiet handholding he could ever desire. And in exchange, he finally becomes honest with his emotions - finally casting his pride away so that he can ask you when he wants a hug, when he wants a kiss, when he’s needy for affection and love, and he wants you to give it

It’s reached the point where he only wants to be alone with you, eternally savoring the feeling of your arms around him and pulling him closer - finally vocal about his desires 

But he does feel guilty that he can only do this behind closed doors

So slowly, very slowly, he tries to sacrifice his pride and begin treating you different publicly

It starts small: a more tender voice whenever he addresses you, a secondary “are you sure?” whenever he’s worried that you’re uncomfortable, a ghost of a smile on his lips when you laugh so merrily

But soon, it morphs into small touches: fingers brushing against each other when you walk, a hand on your back when you’re next to each other, standing closer to you than everyone else

Slowly, the people around you become relieved. They start to understand that you are like any married couple, but that Lucifer was simply having a hard time adjusting to the abrupt closeness

And then, on the day when you and his brothers throw him a surprise birthday party, Lucifer is so overwhelmed by love that he kisses you then and there, right in front of everyone, pride be damned

And the process is slow going, but eventually he becomes as open with you in public as he is in private, until the two of you are so close that it seems nothing can ever keep him from holding your hand the way he wants again

Mammon

s m u g

It still blows his mind that you chose him out of everyone, that you chose him to marry and love and spend the rest of your life with

And while he is absolutely dumbfounded by this fact, it won’t stop him from rubbing it everyone else’s face at every chance

“Hey guys, wanna go to this all-inclusive resort next month?” Mammon grins, an uncharacteristically innocent smile on his face. “I’ll pay and all!”

“Oh, yes!” Asmo squeals while Beel’s ears perk up at the word all-inclusive. “I have so many cute outfits that I can’t wait to wear!”

“Oh wait, my bad!” Mammon exclaims dramatically, a silly grin on his face. “Looks like it’s only for married couples. Guess I’ll just take MC then, sorry guys!”

PDA turns up by 10000000%

Man is a touchy demon by default, so in private (now that you’re married) he finally has the courage to quietly cuddle you the way he’s always wanted to

But bring him into public?

Oh boy

You cannot get him to stop touching you. Ever.

There is always a hand on your butt, or two arms around draped around your neck, or a single arm linked with your arm, but no matter what, Mammon makes sure that you guys are touching and that you are intimate

The only time you’re in public and he might not actively touch you is if you’re the one touching him - and holy hell, when you do, this demon melts in your hands

LOVES it when you get possessive. Man wants you to be greedy with him, just like he is with you, so if you yank his attention away from other demons in a fit of jealousy, he’ll just find it hot

Tangibly, the nature of your relationship hasn’t changed much after marriage. You both still live in the House of Lamentation (though you have moved into his room) he’s still in debt (but things are better than before, and Lucifer doesn’t shout as much), and he still has an only slightly unhealthy obsession with Goldie (fixed only by the fact that you have told him that no, he should not sleep clutching his credit card like a teddy bear)

But inside, marriage means everything to this demon

Man was assertive before, but never confident, ya know? All those big, fancy words were more of a coverup for his insecurity after being made fun of for so long

But now?

His confidence is real

And because of it, being around him is actually easier. He doesn’t need to call himself The Great Mammon or remind you to come to him when you need protecting - because at last, he believes those words

Why?

Because when he falls asleep every night with his head buried in the crook of your neck, it’s to your words of praise, slowly but steadily building his confidence up

And he loves it

(Bonus:) When he proposed, he proposed with ten rings because “you’re better than everyone else so you deserve more rings than everyone else”

Leviathan

Sigh

This man really tried to talk you out of marrying him

Of course, by that time the wedding date was already final and everything ,so you shut him up with a firm whack on the back of the head, but that never stops Levi from being continually insecure

It’s not that he doesn’t want to be married to you

It’s that he’s worried you’re missing out on something by being married to him

:(

Poor baby is so precious

And so insecure

At the beginning of your marriage, it takes hours to convince him that he’s not “unworthy” of your love 

Often in the morning, you’ll be able to tell that he’s having self-deprecating thoughts just by the look in his eye, so you’ll cuddle and kiss and love him for hours until it’s almost lunchtime - and only then, after hours of you reassuring him and reminding him why you love him, does he begin to believe that he isn’t a “yucky otaku”

For the remainder of the day, Levi makes sure to repay you in full - literally showering you in love as he makes you his Player 2 for every video game, going as far as to allow you to sit in his lap while he reads manga over your shoulder

And while things often reset at night - and the next morning the demon looks equally fearful about your decision to marry him, there’s no denying that the amount of time it takes to convince him that you love and want him is growing shorter and shorter

And then, one day, when Levi wakes up, he doesn’t have that look in his eyes at all

And he just straight up kisses you

This is the story of why Levi kisses you every morning, first thing in the morning (even if it’s just a forehead kiss)

Man is eternally grateful to you for bearing with him (despite you insisting that you weren’t “bearing’ with him - you were doing it out of love) while he was so hesitant and fearful, and vows to return every ounce of love tenfold

Man will do anything for you

Of course, he still prefers to stay indoors and to marathon TSL with you

But he does stop glancing away every time you praise him, and all the instances where he might have previously insulted himself now turn into simple blushes where he wraps you in a hug to hide his warm cheeks

Man is surprisingly touchy, even when he’s not fighting with other for your attention

100% sleeps best if you’re spooning him - no questions asked

(And please don’t ask questions - he’ll get so embarrassed)

And yes, after much begging him, he does finally purchase a bed for the two of you to sleep in instead of his bathtub (which is surprisingly comfy, given that you can just lay on top of Levi and cuddle him)

But yes, sometimes he will randomly lift you up in the middle of the night and carry you to the bathtub, because while there’s no chance this man is letting go of you as you sleep, he will always prefer the bathtub 

Sigh

But you love him anyway <3

Satan

No one would have thought that the Avatar of Wrath would be able to lead such a peaceful life, but the second you guys get married, that’s what things are

Peaceful

Man treats you like royalty, making sure that things are always perfect for you

Mornings are no longer spent at the dining table, but are instead spent on the small table in Satan’s bedroom, where the two of you roll out of bed every morning and lazily curl up together on the same armchair while drinking tea and coffee, chatting about whatever dreams you had

Afternoons are quiet: Satan’s nose in a book and your fingers occupied with whatever your favorite pastime is, but you guys are always right next to each other, always touching in some way 

Evenings are calm - Satan will sometimes play a disc of your favorite human world band or will put on some music of his own preferred Devildom artists, and the two of you will simply talk until it’s nighttime and you both are sleepy

In essence, man mellows out after you marry him

And the reason?

He always feels so calm. It’s like you’ve quelled the eternal storm within his heart by marrying him, by promising that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together - and Satan hardly thinks he has any need for emotions like rage and anger when he always feels so blissfully happy with you

It becomes his favorite thing in the whole world to just pull you onto his lap and play with the ring around your finger, listening to the sound of your voice

He’s just so soft for you

Highkey wants to spend the rest of his life locked away inside his room with you, away from other people and other things that make him angry, but he will venture out into public with you because he knows that there’s value in exposing oneself to various social environments

In fact, now if he leaves the house at all, it’s usually with you by his side

His favorite place to visit is 100% the cat shelter, with the local, cozy bookstore taking its place as a close second

But this man will not hesitate to throw hands with anyone who disrespects you

It’s actually one of the reasons why he finds it so tedious to go outside - because no matter what, there’s always some foolish demon that treats you poorly, and then Satan’s disposition dictates that he can’t let that demon go home until the fool learns his place and apologizes

Of course, after the whole ordeal you guys 100% go somewhere to cheer each other up, and that’s the story of how you become the local ice cream store’s most valued customers

But Satan will always prefer being safe in his room with you, surrounded by his books and your things and everything that screams home

And are you guys secretly hiding a cat in your room?

Who knows? 

All you can say is that when the stack of “books” eternally buried under Satan’s desk sneezes, it’s not because Satan “enchanted them” to do so 

;)

Asmodeus

d e d i c a t e d 

h u s b a n d o 

Anyone can see the switch in Asmo when he settles down and marries you

Like

Man changed when you guys started dating for sure. His posts on Devilgram began featuring you, he spent money he would have spent on hair products on buying you gifts, he stopped talking about himself and began focusing on complimenting you

But now that you’re married? And shit is official?? And you’ve actually legally sworn that you want to spend the rest of your life with him???

It’s the first time Asmo cries tears of joy

Man pulls a full 180 - there’s no longer any such thing as Asmo, or even MC. No, the two of you are now a package deal - and everywhere you go, it’s Asmo AND MC

And the whole Devildom knows about you two

And really, how could they not?

Ever since Asmo made that one post on Devilgram where the two of you are posing, flashing the camera your engagement rings - every single post Asmo has made is of you

In fact, some of his posts don’t even have him in it - they’re just you

Because this boi is so smitten for you

And he wants the whole world to know it

You guys start matching everything (or everything that’s fashionable. matching t-shirts are NOT the wave, honey, so put those back)

Nail polish? Matching. Jewelry? Matching. Aesthetics? Matching.

Asmo has so much love in his heart that it literally comes pouring out in every action he does

Man will miss his beauty sleep for you if you ask him for a glass of water in the middle of the night. And better yet, he won’t even complain if you keep him up late, as long as it means he gets to hold you close and shower you in kisses

And if you thought Asmo before marriage was touchy, then you have a big surprise in for you

Asmo’s touches are no longer sexual. (Or some of them are, but only when you’re ready for it ;)) He’s now more preoccupied with the closeness that accompanies touching you, and so his skin is always brushing by yours even in the briefest of touches, because it always sends such a lovely rush of warmth to his heart whenever you touch

Everything reminds him of you

Man will send you pictures of trees, birds, flowers (honestly anything beautiful) with the caption saw this today and it reminded me of you xoxo

And though he maintains the ruse of this being completely casual, that this marriage is just another wonderful thing that’s happened to him, you know that he never stops fangirling over the fact that you’ve actually chosen him to love and marry

And yes, he was an angel born to be loved: he was the jewel of the heavens and everyone who looked upon him was instantly charmed

But to him, none of that matters

The only love he cares about is yours, and now that you’ve given it to him, you’ve literally brought heaven to him because there’s nothing in the world he would trade for this

Beelzebub

Imagine being married to Superman

That.

That is what this marriage is like.

To the rest of the world, you are literally untouchable - because the moment you marry him, Beel will not allow anyone to mistreat you

Did you think he was baby? That he was precious?

Well, you were right. But now that the two of you are married, he looks at you with that same lens of protectiveness, and he wants to shield you from all the evil in the Devildom

Man is devoted in public and in private: nothing will stop him from showcasing his love for you

Expect to be offered food at all hours of the day, to be lifted up and hugged at random, and to be given forehead kisses on the daily 

And listen, when Beel kisses you on the forehead in public, it’s not just a show of affection to show the world how much he loves you. It’s a silent threat to anyone who might hurt you - a silent warning that Beel has extended his protective domain over to you, and now anyone who messes with you is messing with him and will not be shown mercy

That’s only in public tho - in private, this man goes back to being the most precious thing in the world

So 

Many

KISSES

Contrary to public expectation, Beel is just like his younger brother in that he adores lazing around with you in bed, laying kisses across your skin for hours on end while you just sigh in bliss

He just adores the intimacy of the whole situation alongside the sensation of your smaller frame being literally enveloped by his own

His favorite thing in the whole world is laying on his side with his head resting on top of yours, your back pressed against his chest while he hugs you from behind and listens to you rant about whatever. And while this is going on, he will absolutely slide his ring off his finger and absentmindedly slide it onto yours, watching as the larger band dangles so loosely off even the thickest of your fingers

It actually opens up a whole new kink realization to him: that he adores seeing you in his things and watching the way your smaller frame is nearly swallowed up by all his clothes

And while it has always been normal for you to casually wear his shirts and walk around his room in them without anything else on, the fact that the two of you are married gives him the confidence to sneak you out of his room looking like that, where you occasionally run into his brothers. And the sight of you dressed in his clothes in front of other people awakens a side of him that he never knew existed

100% tries to get you to leave the house looking like that

“Babe, I can’t wear this outside”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not wearing any underwear beneath this and if the wind blows, then—”

“You’re not wearing any underwear?”

And then Beel realized that he really had discovered a new kink

Belphegor

The marriage no one foresaw

Nah, but fr tho

It’s not that Belphie doesn’t love you - even a blind man can tell that he’s hopelessly fallen for you

It’s just that you guys were acting like a married couple so long before you guys got married that no one thought there was any point in actually sealing the deal

And honestly, things really don’t change much after you both get married

You still sleep in the same bed, you still cuddle each other at night, you still bicker back and forth 

From a distance, it seems like the nature of your relationship is entirely unchanged, save for the fact that you both have matching bands around your ring fingers

B U T

That’s only because no one else can see how Belphie treats you in private

Where there would once be peaceful naps where he dozed off on your thighs to the feeling you playing with his hair, he now spends that time lost in slow conversations with you, their topics varying based on whatever has popped through his mind that day

Man realizes that, now that you’re his spouse, he wants to know everything about you

And he’s willing to spend all the time in the world learning these things

He’ll lie you down on the bed and play with your hair, asking you the most random questions

“Do you dislike mushrooms?”

“If you had a pet frog, what would you name it?”

“What do you think of stickers?”

Of course, that may be because your answers are utterly ridiculous

“Only if they stand over four inches”

“Fluffy”

“They’re only good if they smell good”

And for the longest time, you really only humor his questions with responses because, well, he’s your husband and you think that he just wants to get to know you better (albeit in a rather unorthodox method)

But then, one day, the two of you are casually walking through the Devildom market in preparation for it being Belphie’s turn to make dinner, and the demon selects the ingredients to your favorite dish without even consciously knowing what it is

And you realize that every question you answered was one Belphie took to heart, and that the reason he always wants to learn so much about you is so that he can use the information to be the best husband he can be

And when you figure it out, you nearly tackle Belphie to the ground in a hug, because you’re so touched

“You’re the best husband ever!” You murmur, wrapping your legs around his waist as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, clinging to him like a koala as you trap him in an embrace he can’t wriggle out of

“Did you really just realize why I always ask these things?” Belphie questions, sighing as if he’s disappointed

But even he can’t hide the small grin that creeps onto his face as you hug him tighter, and you know he’s just savoring the affection. And who are you to deny him any?

Solomon

cHAoTiC

Arguably the most stressful marriage, but not for either of you: for the people around you

You guys are that couple

Things were hectic enough before, when you guys would pull pranks on the demons every time you were together. But now that you’re in love? And married??? And ALWAYS together?!?!?

RIP to everyone around you

The two of you never really seem to grow old - your energy is seemingly inexhaustible and you’ve already pranked all 72 demons that Solomon has pacts with four times over (and yes, that does include Barbatos, who has now made multiple threats to break the pact)

But, again, this is one of those instances where there’s a sharp difference between how you guys act in public vs. in private

In public, things are a hot mess. You guys are always laughing, always joking, always smiling

But in the privacy of Solomon’s bedroom, without any potential targets for pranks and any demons that you guys need to keep your guard up around, things change substantially

Contrary to public expectation, you guys are almost completely silent when you’re alone - but it’s not an awkward silence, by any means. No, the silence that you and Solomon find is nothing short of comforting, and every time you guys escape to the confines of his room, you both let out a breath neither of you realized you’d been holding

Because although you guys are strong, and arguably the most powerful team of humans in the Devildom, the fact remains that you guys are human.

And you can only let your guards fully down around each other

Nights are spent in the absence of any loud laughter or obnoxious rackets, the two of you preferring to savor the sound and comfort of silence. You guys fit together like pieces to a puzzle, and no words are necessary for the two of you to change into your nightwear and snuggle up under the same blanket, soft sighs escaping your lips the moment your skin comes into contact with one another

It’s only times like now, when there’s no one else in the world around, that you both can find true peace

And on nights like these, Solomon will just hold you close to him, sometimes pressing his forehead against yours, and he’ll stroke your sides softly, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your skin

And of course, you’ll reciprocate in full, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses to the man’s jaw as he continues his ministrations, sometimes letting out a quiet hum of contentment as you pull him closer

It’s a relationship where speech isn’t necessary; you guys are so in sync with each other and so helplessly in love that words only complicate things

But still, on occasion, one of you will open your mouths to disrupt the silence, and on nights like these, there’s really only one thing either of you will even consider saying

“I love you”

And if there’s one certainty in life, it’s the fact that the other will repeat the same phrase back, punctuating it with a kiss that reminds you both why you love each other so much

And just how worth it this marriage really is

Simeon

The marriage that everyone foresaw

Nah, but fr tho

This is the relationship where everyone knew about it except for you two

Even the day Simeon proposed: it was so spontaneous - he was planning on doing it the following week - but every single person who crossed paths with him could see how helplessly in love he was with you, so it shocked no one when the two of you announced the “surprise” that you were getting married

And this is arguably one of the best decisions you have ever made

In every way

Simeon’s an angel, so marriage is probably the most important to him out of everyone. He was treating you like royalty long before you two got together, but now that the two of you are married? This man CANNOT hold back. And believe him, when he says he will get you whatever you want - he will get you whatever you want

Funny part is, most of the time, this man knows what you want before you do

You’ll be diligently taking notes at the RAD library and you won’t realize that your pencil is blunt until the words are barely legible - but when you get up to find a sharpener, you’ll see that Simeon tossed one onto your desk right before he left to grab a book

You’ll wake up at three in the morning and realize you’re thirsty - but the moment you open your eyes and sit up on the bed, Simeon will already be there with that charming smile and a glass of water in his hand

You’ll be returning from a session of painting your nails with Asmo, only to realize that there’s no way you can grab your keys from your pocket without smudging the semi-dry nail polish - and Simeon will miraculously come home at that second, kissing you on the forehead before opening the front door for you

Like seriously, it’s a gift

Of course, then there comes the day where you try to return the favor, trying to study the way his eyebrows furrow as he reads his book to determine when he’s about to stop and turn on the TV instead (only for you to triumphantly hand him the remote)

And then the affection never ends and the rest of your marriage is characterized by nonstop trying to outdo each other in thoughtfulness that everyone just looks at and sighs because it’s so wholesome

And will Luke become your and Simeon’s honorary child?

Absolutely.

And does Luke hate this in every single way?

Oh yes:

“This is ridiculous! I am two thousand years older than MC! You can’t expect me to have to listen to them every time they tell me to do something! They should be listening to me!”

“Watch your language, young man,” Simeon warns. “I won’t have you talk that way in this house.”

“It’s not even a house!” Luke screams in defiance. “And I refuse! I will say what I want, when I want, and how I want!”

“That’s enough, Luke. Go to your room and think about what you’ve said until you’re ready to apologize!”

And God help Luke the day he accidentally calls Simeon “Dad,” because nothing can break the family after that moment

Barbatos

“Teach me.”

Listen, marriage isn’t a concept that demons are familiar with

They love you, so they’ll do it for your sake - but if a demon weds a human, the demon is 100% playing it by ear and desperately hoping that they’re doing things right

But Barbatos?

Nah, this man gives everything his all, and you’re more important than everything combined. So suffice it to say that when he marries you, he is committed to being the best husbando he can possibly be

And how does he go about achieving such a thing, you ask?

Why, two simple words: “Teach me.”

He asks that you be completely upfront and honest with him about what you desire, and he does everything he can to fulfill them

Things start slow, of course

You mention to him that married couples often sleep in the same bed and share a bedroom - and then he’s requested that Diavolo provide him a new room (one which doesn’t have doors that lead to other timelines) where the two of you live together

Then you talk about how married couples usually have matching wedding rings, and the next morning you find two obscenely expensive (but beautifully artistic) rings, and a wide-eyed butler asking if they’re to your liking

You explain that married couples sometimes get closer to each other by having a family pet and (bless his heart) Barbatos takes you to an aquarium the next day and the two of you bring home a pet fish

And things are slow going with Barbatos, but progress is steady

And soon, he starts to get the hang of it

You guys don’t just sleep in the same bed, he starts to pull you closer. Casual touches turn into cuddling, and then all of a sudden he can only sleep if he’s spooning you in the process

He decides that he likes it when you wear things he buys you, so he gifts you even more woefully expensive but equally stunning jewelry, until you’re always leaving your shared room with one of Barbatos’s presents adorned on your figure

And although Barbatos is too responsible to get rid of the (immortal) pet fish he bought, the two of you have a talk and then you head down to the pet store and buy an actual pet, one which you guys can touch and hug and cuddle

And before long, Barbatos doesn’t need you to teach him how to be a good husband, he realizes that most of it is instinctive; he understands that to make you happy, he really just needs to do the things that make him happy

Of course, he still approaches many things textbook style

Every morning and every night, man will whisper that he loves you - no excuses. You guys could have a fight and he will still do this

But gradually as time moves on, he sees that marriage doesn’t have to be a big, fancy show

And he starts to just savor the sensation of being helplessly in love with you

Diavolo

POWER COUPLE

No, but literally - you guys are the most powerful couple in the world

And Diavolo is living for it

You are royalty now, and Diavolo won’t let you forget that for a single second

You want a snack? That’s fine, here’s a nine-course buffet featuring food from the human world, Celestial Realm, and Devildom

Been feeling tired and want a break? No worries, the next week has been declared a newfound Devildom holiday, so rest up for as long as you want

You don’t like this specific brand of nail polish? Oh okay, there are now four hundred samples in your room to help you find one you do like

It honestly gets to the point where you have to sit Diavolo down (*cough* sit on Diavolo’s lap *cough*) and tell him that no, when you tell him you’re considering cutting your hair, he doesn’t have to hire four professional hairstylists and a consultant to help you select the style

After much discussion he agrees to talk these things out with you

And it’s the sweetest thing in the world

“Babe, can you help me get this jar? I can’t reach it.”

“Does this mean you just want me to get you the jar? Or do you want me to make it a law that all Devildom households cannot have shelves higher than the reach of the standard human height?”

“Just the jar, hon.”

“Oh”

Will never deny you anything, ever

Actually begins putting your interests in front of his own, asking Barbatos to cook your favorite meals and desserts instead of Diavolo’s own preferences because hey, food is just food, and it makes him so happy to see your face light up when you find that dinner is your favorite dish

And listen there’s one thing you need to know about: this man’s bed

Holy shit, nothing compares

It is the most comfortable thing in the world, and you’re pretty sure that even God is missing out if he hasn’t taken a nap on Diavolo’s bed because goddamn that shit is amazing

Like you love Diavolo to death but his bed is absolutely revolutionary with how comfortable it is, and you really feel like you could spend an eternity just starfished out under the covers

And of course, since you love the bed and Diavolo loves you, the two of you can spend hours just lazing around in the morning, cuddling and giggling until it’s almost lunchtime

And mornings with Diavolo are the best

Again, though, you’re royalty, now that you’re married to him. So Diavolo isn’t going to let you be woken up like a commoner. With him, there are no alarms, no loud voices, none of that obnoxious shaking you awake or any such nonsense

No, when Diavolo wakes you up every morning, it’s truly in a way fit for royalty, in a way that only he can do - a way that you honestly prefer to all the others ways you’ve been woken 

And does this include Diavolo smirking up with you every morning from between your thighs?

Absolutely.

But does that stop him from doing it every day? 

Never.

[a-crimson-lion]

The Past Is Present (In All The Wrong Ways…)

So I saw that @elflynns-horde-of-stuff wanted to talk about BNHA 319, and I was going to send her and ask, but then I let my thoughts go on too long, so… everyone gets this gigantic brain dump. Enjoy :D

[Fair warning: no immediate Bakubashing, but it does come in later. I’m not joking, if you don’t like that, AVOID it. Please. Thank you.]

Now there’s a LOT to unpack with this chapter, and I might not be able to put all of it in words, so let me try and boil it down to what I believe is the core issue:

People are recognizing Midoriya’s bulls*** without recognizing Bakugo’s bulls***.

[TL;DR at the very end, just so you know.]

Which, let me be clear, is completely fair. I like Midoriya as a character, he’s obviously one of my favorites, but hoo BOY am I sick and tired of the s*** he has to go through and the s*** he’s pulling! I understand he’s going through a lot of stress right now and he doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt, but from a completely professional standpoint, that is LITERALLY THE JOB. His other friends are literally HEROES (in training) that have also been through their fair share of UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONAL BULLS*** BECAUSE OF SHONEN LOGIC, so realistically trying to protect them, while noble, does kinda come off as insulting. And I get the whole savior complex thing, because the whole “its my responsibility, let me handle it” isn’t entirely irrational on its own.

The previous holders of OFA more or less signed up for the responsibility.

Nana Shimura signed up for the responsibility, not her family.

Toshinori Yagi signed up for the responsibility, not his friends and (found) family.

Izuku Midoriya signed up for the responsibility, not his mom, not his friends.

...except AFO isn’t just targeting OFA, though that is a big priority on his to-do list.

Except AFO, as a villain, isn’t just OFA’s responsibility.

Except even if innocent people can’t and shouldn’t be brought in the crossfire, Midoriya’s friends aren’t civilians. A good bulk of Midoriya’s allies aren’t civilians. They’re heroes. They signed up for this. Maybe not taking on an ancient evil like AFO, but hey, most villains nowadays AREN’T a part of the standard deal.

The thing about a savior complex is that you often have a blindside.

And from a more personal perspective, I’m not a big fan of the whole “protagonist repeats history” kinda deal, especially with the way BNHA framed itself as a sort of “next-gen” shonen which was supposed to be kinda sorta different. And the thing is, we already have several examples of the same story with the previous OFA holders, especially Nana and Toshinori, which we’ve seen in glimpses on several occasions.

Internally, it does make sense for Midoriya to be repeating the mistakes of his predecessors. Personally, I think it would make more sense if Midoriya’s inferiority complex manifested in a different way (and maybe show us the dangers of that heroic isolation through Nana and Toshinori in more fleshed out flashbacks so that part doesn’t get completely left out). But that’s not what we’re talking about here.

Now, with all my grievances of Midoriya settled… Bakugo.

Before I go to deep into AntiBaku mode, let me just say right now: I kinda get what he was going for.

He’s not being an arrogant loudmouth like usual because he’s letting his ego talk; he’s doing it because that’s what’s familiar to him AND to Midoriya. Midoriya is used to Bakugo when he acts like that, he hasn’t shown any serious signs of not being receptive to Bakugo when he’s like that (at least not recently), so Bakugo uses that in the hopes that maybe that familiarity will get Midoriya to stop and think. It’s worked before, right?

And in all fairness, maybe those insults are trying to get to Midoriya, too. He’s not thinking of OFA as some grand blessing, he’s not trying to be another All Might (the manga went as far to show us how much Izuku does NOT look like a traditional hero right now), so maybe Midoriya will stop and try to reason with his friends, and maybe come to reason with himself as well.

...or he’ll think Baku is full of s*** trying to set him off and just keep moving along, both out of annoyance and thinking Bakugo doesn’t really understand.

(This is where trying to understand Bakugo ends by the way.)

Because all of the above is assuming that Bakugo is approaching normal circumstances. Which he’s not.

Midoriya is tired, both mentally and physically. Midoriya has a very, VERY bad person trying to cut him off from everything, and everyone, and it’s working. Midoriya is under the impression that if he doesn’t keep moving, if he doesn’t try to fix this mess that HE signed up for, people that don’t deserve to get hurt are going to get hurt.

All Might is one of those people. His friends and classmates are some of those people. BAKUGO is one of those people.

And right now, all Bakugo is doing is getting in close proximity, doing what he usually does. He’s not changing his approach to throw Midoriya off, because he’s not that kinda person. He’s trying to talk Izuku down because that is his usual approach, and it’s worked before. Even if Midoriya ultimately contradicted his words, he’s always at least acknowledged Bakugo and what he’s had to say. So Bakugo’s trying to get him to realize how it looks from his perspective: Midoriya is getting a big head, he’s not ready for this responsibility, he’s not supposed to be this way.

...but that’s not what Midoriya’s hearing.

Right now, if I had to guess, the only thing Midoriya is processing right now is that he’s not enough. All Bakugo’s taunts are doing is inflaming his inferiority complex, reminding him that he’s not doing enough. He’s not a “Majesty… successor of One For All” because he’s NOT focusing on the clout, and from Midoriya’s perspective, he’s been doing a s*** job of helping people after the Nagant fiasco and with tracking down AFO and Shigaraki in general. He’s not an “All Might wannabe” because All Might can’t help right now, and even if he could, he’d be doing a lot better in Izuku’s eyes, because even if Toshinori Yagi was human, painfully so, All Might was always, ALWAYS, the #1 Hero for a reason.

...and how can Midoriya live up to that? What has he done to live up to that, to live up to ANYTHING, really?

Midoriya isn’t focusing on how much he’s done. He’s focusing on how much he hasn’t done.

“I can still move…” ...becuase I haven’t moved enough. Because I haven’t done enough.

With that said, time to switch topics: Bakugo’s understanding of the situation, while more extensive than anyone else, is also limited in its own right. I have problems with him claiming he knows All Might and Midoriya better than anyone else because of the sequence of events leading up to that are, realistically speaking (shocking, I know), completely contrived (aftermath of the Battle Trial, DvK2, subsequent invitation to secret OFA meetings). But that’s also because really, there’s a lack of complete awareness on Bakugo’s part, which isn’t expected, but still important.

Neither Bakugo nor Midoriya (nor the readers/viewers, really) know the full extent of All Might’s history as Toshinori Yagi. Midoriya probably knows a lot more of it than Bakugo does from a purely personal perspective, but that’s still not much, so Bakugo’s claim of knowing All Might is kinda :/ Then what about Izuku? Well…

Bakugo is willing to acknowledge that he bullied Midoriya. Bakugo is willing to acknowledge that Midoriya’s sense of self-worth is non-existent. But has Bakugo ever really acknowledged the impact he personally had on the latter?

Bakugo has been willing to see that the way he treated Midoriya was unjust, I won’t deny that. But as of now, we have yet to see Bakugo properly, explicitly realize that HE is the major contributor to Midoriya’s lack of self-worth. As far as Bakugo’s concerned, this is just another thing that Midoriya’s been doing since he was a kid. Except the fact that it’s not. Midoriya’s selflessness was always there.

...his lack of self-preservation came later.

And that’s the crux of the issue, really (finally, no more babbling): Bakugo is trying to tell Midoriya that he isn’t enough, but Midoriya is used to that. He grew up with it, heard it on repeat, internalized it. Not just from Bakugo, even if he was at some point a major contributor. And that’s Midoriya’s driving force: he’s not enough, he needs to do more, he can’t stop. There’s logic in Bakugo’s approach, but first off, it’s f***ing stupid logic, and second, logic doesn’t translate well to emotion. Even if Bakugo is doing what he’s doing with Izuku’s well-being in mind, he’s completely missing the point and kinda coming off as a dick, both externally and from a meta standpoint.

Izuku Midoriya doesn’t need Katsuki Bakugo trying to talk him down. He’s used to that.

Izuku Midoriya needs someone to tell him he’s done enough, plain and simple. No backhanded compliments, no workaround taunts. He needs someone like All Might- no, someone like Toshinori Yagi. He needs someone who is willing to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he is enough, that he’s done enough.

More than enough people have already acknowledged Katsuki Bakugo.

Not enough people have truly acknowledged Izuku Midoriya.

TL;DR: Midoriya needs help, but the way Bakugo is going about it could actually backfire and feels shortsighted.

-Crimson Lion (9 July 2021)

[mewberii]

Streamer!Scaramouche AU

i feel like he’d be one of the biggest streamers on his platform- probably one of those that everyone has heard of even if they’re not into watching livestreams and all

but between those who do know who he is, they either love him or hate him. no in-between

it’s kind of understandable because his attitude is not suited/can be handled by anyone

he’s brutally honest even when his opinion may be seen as rude (to him he’s just saying the truth so he doesn’t mind if people get offended)

of course he doesn’t try to be rude on purpose but i mean it as in he’ll say what he thinks

imagine he’s playing a game and he doesn’t like a certain mechanic, or he isn’t enjoying the story;

he won’t say the game is bad but he’ll openly say he doesn’t like it/it’s not for him. it makes him seem strict but tbh he’s not that hard to please and even when he complains about one or two things he still enjoys the game

he usually gives every game a chance even when from what he’s seen it doesn’t sound like a game he’ll like. if he turns out to be right he just won’t play it again and if he’s wrong he’s a little too prideful to admit he spoke a little too fast but in the end he will admit the game is good or he’s having fun

probably the kind that just knows so much about all games and all the creators and all the game-making engines and is up to date with every single news of everything video-game + streaming-related,,, how does he do it, i don’t know,,,,

and also since he’s so popular he probably gets packages from game developers with limited edition stuff or merch from different games soooo often

and he placed the ones from his favorite games in his setup room and it looks INCREDIBLE he has so much stuff

he did a room tour stream once talking about all he has, where he got everything, from his monitor to every complement of his computer and like,,,,, the cost of his setup,,,,,,, some people already know they’ll never be able to afford that in their entire life

and he already had a great setup before he even became big as a streamer so people can already guess he’s fairly rich 

also i feel like he would have started his career as a streamer without using a facecam and even like that, he already managed to get very popular because of his professional commentary of game dynamics/playability + you can tell that he’s passionate about this and also he’s very funny without even trying??

he says some stuff so casually that he doesn’t realise how funny it is

probs showed his face after he hit a very important milestone

he never considered showing his face that important but he understood why people would want to see his reactions when playing games (even tho he warned them he’s not the most expressive/dramatique person in the world and they know by now) and would want to put a face to the person who entertains them so much with his streams

and when he does show his face people go absolutely cRAZY BECAUSE he is crazy good looking (if you don’t think he’s good looking i’m sorry for your eyesight. jk i’m sorry in general i just really love him)

some people who didn’t watch his streams will even check them out because of that but literally if you come for the visuals only you won’t stay for long because as i said not anyone can handle his personality

if he sees people being superficial about him too much instead of paying attention to what’s happening in the stream, he will immediately turn the subs mode on in the chat (if he didn’t have it on already)

being rude, being disrespectful/saying discriminating stuff or anything of that sort won’t be tolerated and anyone who does it will be banned instantly

without even interrupting what he was saying before he saw the comment, he’ll just type the ban to whoever said that and go on

and his mods do the exact same. they are just as strict as him

if it ever got too much of course he wouldn’t be afraid to speak up about it and tell his chat to stop that behaviour or else, as they should already know, he won’t be afraid of banning them even if they’ve been subscribed for months or years

ANYWAYS

why do i feel like he has a super organised chat— as in instead of spamming 5 emotes per comment they all send just one and it looks so tidy and perfect

literally other streamers would be jealous of how not-messy his chat is even when he has thousands and thousands and thousands of viewers all the time

also i have this idea that maybe any of his fans would have designed him as a genshin character (which would be the design of the scaramouche we know (?))

and the little pop-ups (i don’t know the name in english rIP) thingies that show up to notify when someone subscribed or donated would be lil chibi art of that design

it’d be really cool

and since i also doodled what a stream of his could look like (i’ll show it in the future when i’m done!!) i thought that way it’d be more recognisable that the streamer is scaramouche

99% of the people who have seen him irl found him too intimidating to go ask him for a picture or tell him anything

he’s not a huge fan of taking pictures anyway + is more on the introverted/reserved side but he wouldn’t mind if someone went up to him (if he’s not busy with something) to tell him something or say they enjoy his streams

i feel like in a couple occasions he would have played a game with some subscribers and he’d like to tease them speaking with his usual tone and face (in case they’re watching the stream as they talk) so they think he’s serious

“did you watch my 12 hour stream the other day?”  -scaramouche

“ah,,,, i-” -the sub

“think well of what you’re going to answer.” -scaramouche

“i-i couldn’t watch the whole thing,,,” -the sub

“ah, is that so…?” -scaramouche 

he’ll pretend to sound disappointed but at one point he just can’t help but smirk and hold in a chuckle before telling them he’s not serious

(he literally doesn’t know how the hell he survived that stream himself because he isn’t one to stream for that long)

i feel like deep inside people who know him would know he wouldn’t say such things seriously/wouldn’t be disappointed in anyone for not watching every single minute of his streams or not even all his streams

but he says all that so seriously that it’s,,, intimidating and they’re lowkey like “god but what if he’s not joking-”

he’d play games with the other streamers sometimes but i feel like most of the type he’d play more single-player games

it’d be so funny if he plays among us with others and for example one of those others it’s childe

both of them would always be suspecting of the other first/bickering, especially scaramouche

and if one game turns out they’re both the impostors… people would know right away

like, if any of them tried to defend the other, everyone else would be like “!?! what is this? scaramouche and childe defending each other? scary”

they’d vote one of them (maybe scaramouche) out because they started guessing + saying proof of how both of them could be the impostors (but the biggest proof is them not coming for each other’s throats sNKJFNGKJS)

scaramouche would have to resist the urge to S C R E A M

needless to say he doesn’t like when he has to be impostor with childe

and unfortunately for him, fate makes it happen considerably often

i feel like at least one time scaramouche would kill next to childe and then report it and literally blame childe

and childe would be like ?!?!?!?!?? WHAT- NO- (struggles bc his brain instinct is to say ‘it was you!’ but they’re both the impostors??? how-)

and then they’d eject childe,,, and then people wouldn’t suspect of scaramouche for most of the game because ? why would he- blame his partner---

well he did it with no regrets and at the end when they all found out they found it very funny (except for childe, but even he ended up laughing in the end because what a mean strategy sjkfhdsgkj)

i have this feeling that even though they bicker so much and for any strangers it’d seem like they hate each other, when scaramouche does play online games, many times it’d be with childe?

ik they aren’t supposed to get along but for the sake of it being a modern au i don’t want bad vibes between any of the characters pls-

and everyone enjoys their dynamic and those streams always get a ton of viewers sjfhdsgkj and i’m sure both their chats would be good friends (most likely one’s fans would also be a fan of the other too)

very very very rarely (because he prefers just playing and talking while playing) he’d do streams where he doesn’t play anything but just talks with the chat, watches videos that they send him, looks at the fanart they make, just talks about games,,,,

it’d be super chill and the perfect streams for people to be doing homework/work/play games/draw or do basically anything while they listen to his stream in the background

he’d also be answering some of people’s questions about him or about his favorite games, or if he’s playing this new game that came out earlier this week,,,

“will you play ‘it takes two’ with childe?” -someone in the chat

“absolutely not. i won’t play a co-op game with him”

not even 5 days later, tweet from childe saying “streaming in 30 minutes! Scaramouche and I will be playing It Takes Two on my ch---”

anyways this will be all!! (for now?) i obviously knew genshin before this but, yesterday i could finally start playing it myself! so i feel like if not now, soon i will also write headcanons of him playing genshin! i don’t take requests but if you guys have any ideas or anything you want to say about this AU, send me an ask!! i’d love to talk about this and about genshin in general!

also, i was very inspired to write this by @baeshijima​ ! so thank you very much to her for her wonderful streamer AUs and if anyone reading this hasn’t read hers already, go check them out!! they’re amazing!!

[comradekatara]

the gaang + how well they would do on the infinity train?

this is suuuper hard because there are so many factors to take into consideration. first is obviously the train itself. the train's function in a metanarrative sense is to serve as a vehicle for storytelling, dissecting & deconstructing the process of a narrative and how a character's arc is propelled by their circumstances. the train supposedly functions to improve its passengers, and yet we also know that The Train is a deeply flawed mechanism that can corrupt and further traumatize its passengers just as much as it can "fix" them. when the train invites you in with the single-minded goal of getting your number to zero, assuming you ever disembark, you're probably gonna be left with even more trauma than when you arrived, or at the very least, weirder trauma.

grace wanted to be seen, but instead of learning to value herself for her own intrinsic worth instead of relying on validation from those around her, she was enabled by that validation and literally started a cult. likewise, since jet is basically a less heinous version of simon, i see him taking a similar path to the apex (though he would of course name them the freedom fighters) trying to overthrow the tyrannical one-one and reinstate the True Conductor. he would think his path is righteous. he would think he is protecting those kids from evil. who knows what would happen once he learns the truth.

then there is the matter of what the train wants from you. the train arrives at a pivotal moment in one's life, when they are at an emotional crossroads and need a catalyst for growth. for example, jesse's problem was relatively small (because he is perfect) but hurting his brother caused him emotional turmoil nonetheless, so the train stepped in. this means that to answer this question properly, i would have to answer not only when the train arrives for them, but why, and seeing that every single atla character carries massive amounts of baggage (most of it flavors of trauma that infinity train has not addressed), this proves extremely difficult. i have to identify the most narratively satisfying moment in each character's lives to have the train arrive, and then i have to make assumptions about which cars would propel them which way (emotionally). you're asking me to outline nine different fanfictions.

only jet's character feels similar enough to any of the characters we've seen in infinity train for me to even have an inkling as to what path he would take. while sokka and tulip are quite similar as people (rational, scientific yet creative thinkers who over-rely on logic over feeling, are deeply loyal, and instinctually blame themselves for the problems caused by others), their character arcs themselves have little in common. both aang and hazel experience a tragic loss of pure, childhood innocence (which is why i cry over both of them every day), but in relatively dissimilar ways (at least appa gets to return to aang). min-gi and zuko are both pressured by their upbringings to conform to a standard that makes them miserable to please their parents, only to ultimately embrace their own passion & truth... but not only do those arcs play out completely differently, zuko and min-gi are completely different people, and if anything, zuko's approach to life is far more like ryan's (ie, jumping off a cliff and hoping he lands on his feet).

but what i think you're really asking, at the end of the day, is how emotionally mature, self-aware, and capable of positive growth is each atla character? because how am i supposed to know what the train would do to their psyches, considering each external situation would shape them differently, and unless i'm supposed to meticulously craft fanfiction for each one of them (which i wouldn't be opposed to doing, but only for one character, i simply cannot do all nine – also, i'm surprised infinity train AUs aren't more common, but then again i'm not particularly familiar with fanficition, so maybe it is!), it would only be an approximation, in which i identify their core problem (which again, is not how real people work, or even how atla characters work, but how The Train works) and then analyze how long it would take for each of them to solve said problem.

so, that was a very long-winded preface. without further ado:

aang's main problem is that he keeps running away from his problems, which is to say, distracting himself from the enormity of his grief. personally, i would say his coping mechanism isn't the worst. after all, he experiences so much world-shattering pain in such a short span of time, and he does deserve to preserve his childhood and his innocence for as long as possible. but, for the purposes of the narrative, the train must necessarily disagree. he must confront his grief head-on, without distracting himself from it or flying into a destructive rage that he'd only regret later. it also depends on who his companions are. with katara by his side, he can get through anything (and vice versa), but it's unclear who will be there to guide him through his pain. that said, i know he'd make it through okay. he's aang. he has to.

katara lives in a fairytale. like i said with aang, that's not really a bad thing. she's a great kid with big dreams and a big heart. she wants to save the world, and – guess what! – she does. but living in a storybook strips one's worldview of the nuances of life, not simply the harsh realities of the world, but also the full extent of one's personhood, outside of simply the black and white worldview of heroes and villains. katara's apotheosis is when she confronts yon rha, looks him in the eyes, and sees a human being staring back at her, another human being. she is no longer in a revenge tale. she is out of stories to tell herself. (life doesn't make narrative sense.) ironically, the train is a metaphor for storytelling, so katara coming to realize that she isn't in a story would both be confusingly meta and also fucking brilliant (if i do say so, personally). i don't know how exactly it would play out, but by god i would pay to see it.

in many ways, sokka is remarkably open-minded, and in many ways, sokka is extremely stubborn. i think he'd come to terms with his own emotional growth (which would be rooted in learning his own self-worth) faster than he'd come to terms with the train itself. "okay, fine, yeah, i deserve love regardless of what i can do for other people, but WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PLACE?!?!?" his journey through the train is actually everyone else's dream experience on the train. passengers and denizens alike keep falling in love with him (or at the very least, admiring him more than they've ever admired anyone they've ever met), but he doesn't even notice because he's too busy being extremely suspicious of everything he comes into contact with. yes, he'll solve your problems and puzzles and help people and make meaningful connections and eventually he might start to realize that he is worth something even when he's alone, even (especially) when he's being unconventional or "weird" or "selfish." but even once he does get his door, does he walk through it? oh no, he takes it apart and tries to figure out how it just created a fucking portal. so while he would technically "do" quite well, he is never leaving that fucking train. rip sokka.

well, toph needs to learn to accept and embrace her own vulnerability. she definitely goes through that same crystal karaoke car tulip did. that, or the train just tortures her by putting her in increasingly more painful situations in which she must ask for help. but that's too awful to even think about, so i'm just gonna say she has to sing karaoke.

zuko needs to learn to trust his instincts and his own internal moral compass instead of the external pressures being forced upon him by his Father (capital F to emphasize that his nation & his father – aka the patriarchy – are one & the same for him, lmao). and he would fail. a lot. but eventually he would realize that his number goes down when he lets himself be himself, and he would leave the train happy. he probably also gets a bunch of cute little talking animal companions to guide him through. he deserves it.

the train appears to suki while she's having a breakdown in solitary confinement at the boiling rock. she finds healthy ways to cope with being put through hell while on the train, and by the time she gets off, she's being let out of solitary. it is a very rewarding experience, and one that she can swear wasn't just some hallucination. she's constantly telling herself yes, of course it was just a hallucination.... but still... it felt so real....

if i had to diagnose azula with one singular problem that plagues her at the core of her very being, it would have to be her fear of rejection. but it's not good enough to just keep having train cars reject azula, she has to accept that rejection, instead of just intimidating people into submission after the fact. she needs to understand why she is being rejected, and be fine with it, and learn from it, instead of letting her lack of universal perfection in every area anyone could ever excel in shake her to her very core. when ty lee proved that she secured the affections of dumb stupid boys better than azula ever could, she did an arson to cope (which of course is still very valid of her uwu). azula needs to learn to come in second place, third place, even last place, and shrug it off, think to herself, "hopefully i'll do better next time, and if not, that's okay also," and once that happens, everything else will fall into place. though maybe she could read bell hooks or smth at some point on the train cuz i think that could help too.

mai needs to stop being so goddamn depressed all the time. has she tried lexapro, or perhaps using a lightbox in winter? her favorite coping mechanism, knives, only helps her feel something some of the time, but most (if not all) of the time she's still being expected to play a part. has she tried, like, being herself? i heard from zuko (you know, the guy? from the train?) that "being yourself" works wonders. so the train gives her that opportunity. and she actually even enjoys herself for once in her miserable fucking life.

omg there must've been some sort of mistake ty lee was totally sent here by accident because she's actually super happy all the time and doesn't have any problems!!!!!!!! jk, can u even imagine? ty lee hates her life too, she just doesn't go around advertising it like mai does with her big dyke boots and depressing eyeliner. but apparently she also needs to learn how to "be herself," whatever that means. as if life isn't a constant performance, you know, like jacques said or whatever. she sees mai on the train. she rolls her big beautiful brown eyes. "oh god, not you too."

[mintugiyuu]

oh! its okay, i'll try to word it as close as possible to the first time.

may i please have the main group with a trans male reader who is stealth and kind of scared of how they'll react coming out to them?

(gosh i hope thats close enough, my memory is not the best,,)

thank you so much!!

thank you so so much for resending this!! I’m so sorry it got deleted the first time around, it was early in the morning and I wasn’t using my noggin when I was trying to draft it ;3;

for the kamaboko squad, I left it so it could be interpreted as romantic or platonic! for nezuko I did it more platonically, I hope that was ok! thank you for requesting and I hope these are enjoyable to read! I hope you’re well <3

꒰🌤꒱ — as it’s always been.

sfw scenarios + head-canons

➥ characters || kamado tanjirou, kamado nezuko, hashibira inosuke, agatsuma zenitsu

➥ warnings || none

➥ synopsis || the reader hesitantly comes out as trans to the kamaboko squad, nervous to what they’ll think and say; here is how they would react.

➥ kamado tanjirou:

- Tanjirou has a great sense of smell, so there’s no hiding your anxiety/nervousness about coming out. He’s most certainly going to ask you what’s wrong, nothing but concerned for your state of being.

- As you’re explaining and officially coming out to him, he’s very attentive; nodding and making sure you knew he was listening.

- He knows this must be very hard and nerve-wracking for you, so he lets you finish speaking before responding himself.

- Tanjirou, being the sweetheart he is, immediately reassures you that he thinks no different of you and still loves you through and through!

- If he’s honest, he’s a bit surprised. The boy definitely wasn’t expecting this, but regardless he’s very glad that you’re happy with who you are and honored that you trust him enough with this information.

- Expect lots of words of support and small actions of comfort/affection. Tanjirou immediately pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back as he tells you how proud he is of you, and how the information you told him will stay between you two (unless/until you tell the others; he knows it’s not in his place). He’d hold both your hands to his chest as he promises you that nothing has changed between the two of you, giving you his infamous gentle smile.

- Like he promised, nothing changes between you two. Everything is as it was before, and unless you want to talk about the topic at hand, he won’t even bring it up. It just goes to show he doesn’t mind what so ever and supports you all the way!

➥ kamado nezuko

- When it comes to Nezuko as a demon, she doesn’t really have a true understanding of anything that’s going on around her; she goes with her emotions and the emotions she’s picking up around her. Of course, she can tell when there’s danger and understand basic conversations. But other than that, all she really can understand is protect, sleep, and head pats.

- So you wouldn’t outright come out to her, knowing she probably wouldn’t understand regardless. It happens by accident, kind of.

- She spends her days in a dark room of the butterfly mansion as the others are healing, either sleeping or doing her own thing. You’re probably pacing around the room, trying to plan out how to officially tell the other boys and properly come out to them.

- Nezuko notices your distress from where she was playing with a handkerchief you gave to her after one of your missions.

- “Hmmmph!”

- In other words, she’s grabbing your attention, looking lost to why you’re pacing. In a “hey! what are you doing?” kind of way.

- When you didn’t notice her attempts, she huffs, hopping off the bed and making her way to you. She’s in her small form currently, trying to regain her energy but wanting to be awake to be in your company.

- You’d feel her tug at your uniform, making several muffled questionable noises at your pacing. If you tried to brush her off, telling her “it’s nothing”, she’s calling you out on your bull and tugging you to the bed.

- Sit criss-cross and watch her crawl into your lap as a toddler would do to an older sibling (for she saw you as another big brother), grabbing your arms and making it so you were hugging her.

- This gives you no room but to explain yourself, so you did. As you come out to her and explain how you’re nervous to tell the others, she’d.. not be the most understanding.

- Understanding as in she doesn’t comprehend what you’re telling her. But she does her best to listen, feeling how important this is to you and how anxious you’re reacting.

- She cuts you off of a nervous ramble of all the bad outcomes with a head-pat to your head, closing her eyes with a small “hmhmph!” coming from under her muzzle.

- Expect a good ole Kamado hug, tiny edition. And she’s not letting you go, not even when it was time for dinner.

- She calms you, knowing in your heart that even if she’s not completely aware, she still loves you and hopefully the others will as well (they will of course).

- Before you have to go, she grips onto your sleeve and pulls the muzzle off her mouth, giving you a sharp toothed smile. Before you can tell her to put it back on, that you don’t want anyone to see her with it off, but she gets one word out with the biggest beaming smile.

- “Oniisan!” (“Big Brother!”)

- .... and pats her head. She wants head pats too. Nothing’s changed, you’re still the best head pat giver she knows.

➥ !! spoilers for chapter 204 !! bonus: after the final battle, if you were to come out to a now human Nezuko, she’d react much like Tanjirou; just a lot more bubbly with more bright smiles. Unlike Tanjirou, she’d be more.. “aggressively” supportive. Basically, she wouldn’t hesitate to throw hands at anyone who says something purposely ignorant. It’s terrifyingly sweet; no one messes with her big brother.

➥ hashibira inosuke

- Inosuke has very sensitive skin, so he’s getting goosebumps from the anxiety your giving off. It annoys and confuses him, not understanding what’s going on for you to be so nervous.

- “Oi! You’re making my skin prickly!! Stop that!!”

- It’s his way of asking what’s wrong, wanting to know how to stop it.

- Your anxiety hits an all time high as you let it out, officially coming out to him.

- ... But he doesn’t know what “trans” means, so he’s confused. He stands there, blinking under his pig mask.

- “... What? What the hell is that?” He may sound brash, but he just hates not understanding things. He wants to understand more than everyone else, after all, so don’t take it personally.

- After a long bit of explaining it clearly to him, you two are sitting on the ground, Inosuke with his hands in his lap as he stares at you.

- He’s surprisingly silent the whole way through, and not being able to see his true facial expression just makes you all the more nervous.

- If you were to nervously ask him to take his mask off, you were expecting a hard no. What you weren’t expecting was for him to hesitate for only a moment before taking it off, setting it down in to his lap.

- Inosuke’s eyebrows would be furrowed, his mouth turned down as he looked at you closely. Bracing yourself, he responded.

- “So?”

- That definitely isn’t what you would be expecting.

- Now he didn’t mean this in any negative connotation at all. He fully understands what it means now and what you told him - and to note he’s completely fine with it - he’s just confused to why it’s such a big deal. (If anything he respects you even more, finding you extremely strong.)

- Inosuke doesn’t care how you were born or what you choose to be; at the end of the day you’re his favorite sparring partner! Plus, he has to keep you around. He wants to understand the warm fuzzies he gets in his tummy when you do nice things for him.

- “Doesn’t matter what you are, I can still kick your ass!!” He says as he tackles you to the ground.

- All’s well ends well, and much like Tanjirou, it seems nothing would change between you two.

➥ agatsuma zenitsu

- The high-pitched anxiety sound emitting from you is giving Zenitsu a headache; he’ll make sure to complain about it loudly so you know.

- If you apologized for it while fidgeting, he’ll soften his whining tone and ask why you’re so nervous anyways? It’s day, so it’s not like you have demons to fear.

- You hesitate, stuttering around the topic before officially coming out, explaining that to him and why you’re so nervous.

- Zenitsu.. definitely was not expecting that. He’d go wide-eyed, clearly shocked at the information.

- “HUH??? YOU’RE WHAT???”

- If you were to flinch at his shouts, he’d pause and look to you; watching how you curled up on yourself, scared you looked for a bad reaction.

- Instead he immediately goes to reassure you.

- “IM SORRY!! I-I didn’t mean it like that!! PROMISE! I just wasn’t expecting that!! I wouldn’t ever have guessed!!- I MEAN-!!” He’s talking way to fast for you to even understand, so the more you looked lost the more Zenitsu feared he messed up the trust you must’ve had for him in order to tell him that.

- Eventually he’d break down, getting on his hands and knees while bowing his head to the floor, gripping your pant leg all while begging you to forgive him.

- You’re the one who originally needed comfort here, not him. Smh Zenitsu.

- In all seriousness, reassure him that he’s ok. He meant no harm by his reaction, he just tends to be over-dramatic with his reactions and emotions.

- Once he’s calm, he’d sniffle and be sitting next to you, shoulder to shoulder.

- Zenitsu gives it a few minutes before asking questions, making sure he’s understanding 100% and not getting anything wrong.

- The blonde-boy knows about how hard struggles in life can be; he’s struggled his whole life when it comes to finding a home and a place of belonging, being homeless for the first 3/4’s of the life he’s lived so far. He knows he can’t compare his struggles to the things you must’ve gone through, but he can clearly and easily sympathize.

- He reassures you that he thinks no different of you, if anything he admires the way you could be so brave about it.

- It’s a quiet moment between the two of you as Zenitsu continues his rambles (still scared he ruined whatever is between you two a moment ago), circling over the same couple topics; how he supports you, will support you through anything, that he sees you no differently and that nothing will change.

- Please place your hand over his mouth or he’ll keep going all day; his anxiety rambles are said to last hours.

- This has only made you two closer, the others finding you and Zenitsu sticking/hanging around each other more and more frequently. In the end, your happy you told him.

[dreamii-yume]

not a request but, Idia seems like the type to make a hentai game based on his darling correct? so he uses that as a base to have experience to woo his darling. but now as he tries it irl, he's confused it worked in the game. so why is the darling crying? is there a glitch somewhere? thoughts?

It all started when he thought that you looked like a character from an anime he watched once. He was a fond of the character so, he couldn’t help but to observe you more than he should, hiding his excitement throughout. There, he found out that you don’t just share a similar appearance but a similar personality as well, the perfect embodiment of that character. Idia almost thought that you were some kind of base for that character, cosplaying even, but you were from another world, weren’t you? Could it be that you’re actually that character and just got reincarnated into his world without knowing that you’re an anime character yourself!?

Reverse Isekai, was it? A twist in that overused genre where the fictional character is the one who gets to be trasported to the normal world. Idia was there on the peak of its popularity, reading all the manga, novels that he can find, watching all the anime adaptations along the way. Then the premise just gets redone over and over again that it slowly became boring. Even if they add twists here and there, it still ended up the same.

But now comes you, a real person that got transported into his world! A person who just happens to look and act like the character from one of his beloved shows! You can’t blame him for being this intrigued by your existence! Because how can he not!? This is an otaku’s dream coming true right here!

And best of all...You have his favorite character archetype! How awesome is that!?

Before he knew it, he was all over you. Well, not really...Since he was too shy to actually talk to you, and all he was just doing is either hide behind that tablet of his and a wall at least five meters away. He had already embraced the joys of being a loner and is practically a master of running away from social gatherings or talking in general, but now that it came to this, it became a double-edged sword.

Ortho said to just build up the courage to talk to you if he so badly wants to and he does. He really, really wants to talk to you, at least once...Or twice...Or thrice- The point is that he really wants to. But as supportive as the little brother of his is, he makes it sound so easy. Of course, someone who doesn’t know jackshit about making friends would never be able to master that skill that easily. He cringes at the thought of doing so without any experience, you’d probably see him as another creepy otaku.

Then, it came to him...A thought that proves that he was actually the genius that everyone claims him to be.

Experience. Of course! He’ll just have to gain experience so he can level up! With that, he can conquer your route doing just that! And what better way to do this than to combine it with something what he’s well-experienced with?

So, he started working. His fingers worked on the holographic keyboard faster than he’d ever been, creating a dating simulator game in less than three days. Ortho himself was surprised to see his usually unmotivated and borderline depressed brother having this intense look in his eyes. Idia barely ate or sleep during all of that, but he doesn’t care, what matters is that he finished it.

He finished the game that can finally help himself out, a dating simulator with only one character to focus on. A character who’s basically a spitting image of you and named after you, he even sneaked in some voice lines that he secretly recorded you saying. Idia had observed you longer to know what to write in the game script, which choices you would make, which words you would say, there was even different sprites and assets of you, depending on your emotions! Though, his hand seems to have slipped and before he knew it, he had already hired some Top-tier doujinshi artists to draw some Not-Safe-For-Work CGs of you for some Not-Safe-For-Work scenes. Yeah...He thought so far ahead that it just kinda turned into...Those kinds of simulation games.

But he regrets nothing.

...Other than the fact that he should probably keep this game away from Ortho as much as possible.

Anyway, it was probably one of the games that he took his sweet time with. Even though it was a game that he himself created, it was like he had developed some form of amnesia and was marvelled at his first time playing such masterpiece. All the twists and events left him in awe, squealing at every single CG when your character goes as little as holding his in-game character’s hand. The more...special scenes had him gulping down his own saliva as a physical reaction, the moans and groans that he recorded from you was when you were stretching in the morning, or when you’re startled or exercising, and yet, it fits so well with each sex scene. His face flushed and his pants felt so tight as he read through the dialogue box, his hand later slipping underneath them just so he could relieve his excitement.

“(Y/N)...Hehe, (Y/N)...♡” He blissfully moans as his hand goes up and down his cock, biting his blue lip in anticipation. Sweat was dripping down his forehead and his flaming hair burned a brighter blue, expressing his excitement. His imagination was going ballistic, imagining your own tightness around him as he slid in and out of your slick insides. The closer the scene reached its climax, the faster his hands became, determine to release at the same time as your character. “Haa...(Y/N)~♡ It feels so good...So good...Haha...”

With a satisfied moan, his own strings of semen shoots against his screen, perfectly coming just in time as your character appears, all flushed and exhausted. Idia let out a sigh, calming down from his high with a few strokes here and there to make sure of a satisfying release.

“Haa...Idia-kun, I love you ♡”

That was his favorite dialogue, no matter how many times he replayed this scene, it never fails to arouse him, making him all warm on the inside. A huge blush covered his cheeks as he smirked, slowly building up into an unhinged chuckle. He brushed his hands down the tainted screen, smudging his cum even more as he imagined it as your face. “Aah...Me too...I love you too, (Y/N)~” He whispered, shivering in excitement. “Aw...I can’t wait to have you for real...Wait for a little while, ‘kay? Hehe...”

This plan was a success and certainly helped him gain the confidence and experience that he needed to finally talk to you properly. Memorizing all the available scenarios and route he can go to, he just felt like he can do just about anything right now. With all these knowledge in mind, you surely won’t be weirded out and things wouldn’t be as awkward as he had already formulated a full conversation on his head. A bad end flag was still left arise, but it was placed so low that Idia can’t just spend another batch of his precious time with it, nothing would go wrong if he just do what he practiced, right? For that reason alone, his birthday was coming up and for the first time in forever, he could use a party as an excuse to talk to you. It doesn’t matter who comes anyway, he’ll have Ortho to accommodate them, Idia’s main focus should only be directed at you.

Plus, if he was going to confess on his birthday, then that’s just a major advantage! Plenty of stuff happens when it’s your own character’s birthday in any game, developers becomes extra generous with the drop rates in gachas, they give you more game currency to spend, and extra scenarios with your favorite characters! Sometimes even free stuff of your choice! This would definitely put his chance rate well above what he expected, it’s you after all!

“Happy birthday, Idia-senpai. I brought this gift for you, I hope you like it.” Ah, there it is, his goddess’ voice echoing through the walls. You said that you were going to conduct a birthday interview with him which got his heart beating like crazy. W-Were you going to start the confession event here!? With all these people!? That’s too daring! Though, that’s really charming of you, and a part of him actually wanted that to happen so he could finally point his fingers to these losers-

But no, unfortunately, he doesn’t have that much confidence to give and so, he ended up having to push you somewhere more secluded. Somewhere more...private. Like his room for example- that’s a good place, right~? Nobody can interrupt this interview that way and...and they can do play all sorts of games right after too...That’s fun, isn’t it!?

The interview was surprisingly fun, although it really just consisted of him ranting to you all about his interests. He ended up spilling all facts about his favorite idol group, games, and movies, his big mouth going off on a tangent once again because of that one question. This wasn’t exactly part of the plan, he was planning to give off a smooth vibe to it but he guessed he was just a tad bit under-level for that. Anyway, you ended gracing him with an adorable giggle so, it doesn’t really affect his motives! He’ll still conquer your route like he did with the game!

A few more questions about his favorite and least favorite food comes, Idia couldn’t help but be impatient. When were you going to activate the scenario, huh? The love confession event, it was the one question that he was waiting for. His heart was ready, his body was ready, his everything was ready...So, why were you standing up with a satisfied look on your face? Aren’t you forgetting something here?

“And that concludes our Birthday Celebration Interview! Idia-senpai, thank you for answering all my-“ Idia’s heart skipped a beat as his hands automatically grabbed your hand and pulled you down, rather aggressively.

“W-Wait! Wait, wait, waitwaitwait-“ Idia stumbled over his words, his face flushed as he stared at you with a crooked but nervous smile. “U-Um...! T-There something else...That I want to tell y-you...”

Oh, no...This was that one scenario in the extreme difficulty mode of the game, where you’re not triggering the confession event at all. You’re probably so conflicted with your emotions that he has to do it himself as the main character. It’s not the original route that he’s going for, but it’s fine, he has the script of this mode in memory too, he should be able to pull it off...That’s weird though, he never remembered activating anything to play in this difficulty...Whatever, real life really is something else, isn’t it?

You were surprised and quite honestly, bothered at his sudden outburst but that’s fine. You were the same in the game too, he just had to take control of the situation. “I-I...” He gathered the words in his head, his face heating up than it ever did before.

“(Y-Y/N)...I like- No...” He stammered as he tries his best to form a nervous smile, his heart was beating so fast but that’s not really something new. “...I love you, (Y/N)...”

Idia heard a slight gasp from you but delusions took over his mind before logic can come bursting through, rendering him practically heart-eyed at the situation. He was distracted, but he still waited for your response even if he was already a hundred percent convinced that his confession was a success. It has to be, he had already seen this exact scenario in the game for a millionth time. “...D-Do you...love me too, (Y/N)...?” He fiddled with the tip of his burning hair, leaning close to you as he knows that it’s a special skill that increases his success rate up to at least twenty percent. “...You l-love me too, don’t you~? Hehe...♡”

Yes. You’re going to say yes. You always had said yes in the game as there was absolutely no reason for you to say otherwise. Everything that happened before this went according to plan, he followed every route, said the correct dialogue choices, so there’s no way that he can fuck this one up. He had definitely conquered your route for real this time!

“Ah...” But he had to wonder though, why were you averting your eyes for? That’s cute, but you don’t have to be shy...Just say that you love him too, he can hardly wait! “Idia-senpai...”

“...I’m sorry.”

Idia blinked, his body freezing on its spot as you bowed in front of him so respectfully. Your mouth began to move to deliver more words of explanation for him to understand, but he just couldn’t hear anything else anymore.

What did you say? You’re...sorry? Haha...For what though? That’s weird, that’s not what you were supposed to say, even if this was set in extra hard mode. He did everything correctly so, no matter what difficulty he’s in, you should be able to accept his confession every time.

...Is it a bug in the system? A glitch that he didn’t see?

You called out to him once again, you called out his name and upon looking up, he could only see your face. So full of concern and pity, but no signs of falling in love whatsover. No...You shouldn’t be looking at him like that, what the hell just happened?

This is all wrong...!

Before Idia could even properly process anything, he had found himself on top of you, both frustration and anger building up inside him. His hand, albeit really shaky, had found itself a dangerous clasp around your neck and your expression suddenly turned white. You’re struggling underneath him, like a deer caught by a hunter, kicking and scratching his arms away. But you were scared, he could tell by that look in your eyes, he could easily squeeze your neck in this position after all.

“I-Idia-senpai...!” He heard you call out but your voice just bounced off his ears, he was too distracted by his own shock. This was not in any of the scenarios that he formulated inside his mind, and he created thousands, for Hades’ sake! His breathing became unstable as he began to hyperventilate, sweating immensely as he tries to wreck his brain for whatever the hell he was supposed to do in this scenario. This wasn’t how the game continues after a confession event! Was he too inexperience or under-level to conquer your route? Did he miss a side quest from you or something? What did he do wrong? Was it the lack of gifts of affection? Normally, you were supposed to say that you love him too, embrace him before the two of you share a kiss and-

...A kiss?

Oh...Oh, that’s right! Maybe this is where the code got rewritten and that the kiss should come first now? Maybe your character was taking a different turn, you were probably shifting to other character types to accommodate your new-found feelings...You’re being a Tsundere, aren’t you~? So cute, but you don’t have to push him away though, he’ll keep coming back to you anyways.

...And so, in hopes of desperation, that’s exactly what he did, he leaned down at you as he smashed his lips onto yours. You widened your eyes with a muffled scream coming out of you, but Idia kept your mouth busy as it is. He was on cloud-nine, enjoying your soft lips against his chapped ones so much so that he just instinctively started grinding his hips against yours. You were starting to panic, but that’s fine, that’s a normal reaction. Both in real life and in-game.

By the time that he finished selfishly sucking up your lips, ultimately creating a little bruise on the side, he pulled away with a string of saliva connecting both your tongues together. Idia giggled to himself, the feeling of your lips and tongue was still lingering on his that he can’t help but be hungry for more. However, looking back at you, he blinked as tears suddenly began to stream down your cheeks. Your chest heaving up and down as small hiccups comes out of your every sob.

It made him panic slightly at first, but then remembered a scenario like this once in the game...Though, it wasn’t a scenario as drastic as this one, that he’ll admit. “A-Ah, you shouldn’t cry...” He tried comforting, letting go of your neck and wiping your tears away with a nervous smile. “Y-You’re not supposed to cry after a c-confession event, it’s not in your file...”

You flinched at his touch. “S-Stop, please...L-Let me go...” You whimpered, lifting your arms up to try and shield yourself away from him. “I-I won’t tell anyone, I-I swear-!”

Idia’s hand twitched, quickly covering your mouth as a nervous rection so that he wouldn’t hear the words that he doesn’t want to hear anymore. He felt scared to touch you now, seeing how defensive you got, his little angel’s crying and it’s all because of him. Your words certainly impacted him, but he shook his head instead, he has to keep himself from looking down.

“...You shouldn’t say that either, that’s not in your script.” He said with a bit of stricter tone onto it, attempting to show you how capable he can really be. He grabbed your wrist and forced your hands open, revealing your terrified expression. “Don’t worry...It’s just a little twist on the story, I’m sure. I just have to restart the system, right...?”

“I-I’ll fix you up soon enough, H-Honey~” You watched him with eyes slowly widening in realization and terror as he started to untie his tie, to remove the birthday outfit that he clearly dislikes. You were frozen, you can’t move, not like you could do much with someone as big as Idia straddling above your stomach but you were left immobile with fear. His use of love words sounds extremely clumsy and Idia himself cringes at the sound of it coming from his own mouth but he’s enthusiastic. That doesn’t make it any less terrifying for you at all.

The game’s not finish yet. It’s just as he expected, there was a little glitch that needs a little fixing. It was the cause of a scenario as unreasonable as this one to appear. But it’s fine. He can fix it all up, he can fix you all up and when he’s done with that, he’ll definitely conquer your route for real this time.

After all, there’s no game that he can’t finish, that would be a shame to his Otaku title! It doesn’t matter if it’s his birthday, he’s going to work all night to fix this very unpleasant glitch in you. What a pain~ Idia wonders what kind of price he’ll get from you after this.

...Not that he’s going to complain anytime soon lol

Idia has the personality of an ugly bastard. Just saying *cough*

[the-nightmare-before-bucky]

everything i love about hunchback of notre dame

*the g-slur will be replaced with roma, romani, or something else and will have brackets ([ ]) surrounding it to indicate a word change*

Olim -  i love the build up at the end into bells of notre dame 

bells of notre dame -  ”and some say the soul of the city’s the toll of the bells, the bells of notre dame” the fact that it’s esmeralda singing it. we’re already off to a great start.  jehan’s voice is so nice it’s beautiful the foreboding saints after jehan dies and right into the “ahhhhs’ “and the saints regarded frollo from their stone facade and he felt their gaze as if it were the eyes of God” - the difference between the stone saints for frollo and quasi is so interesting. One sees them as terrifying, boring into his soul because of his darkness within, while the other sees them as his friends and aid on his journey.  the way frollo says quasimodo “now here is a riddle to guess if you can, sing the bells of notre dame” “what makes a monster and what makes a man?” - song by Quasi. It just makes me tingle, I love it.  the way this song sets up so many motifs is just so good

Out There -  the beginning is manipulation 101 (it is I alone, your only friend, how can i protect you, etc)  michael arden is an icon i swear. he is phenomenal. his e m o t i o n “but part of theeeeeem and Ooooooout there” “out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives”  “heedless of the gift it is to be them. if I were in their skin I’d treasure every instant” “i swear i’ll be content with my share. won’t resent won’t despair old and bent I won’t care. I’ll have spent oooone daaay out theeeeeeeeeere” Amazing, showstopping, what a way to open a show and introduce a character, I cry almost every single time

Topsy Turvy pt. 1 -  “somehow i can wander through this helter skelter without fear now. no one sees i’m here now out here in the woooorld!” ugh i love him  “on the sixth of januervy” too catchy

Rest and Recreation -  I used to hate this song but now i’ve matured and learned that it is amazing I just love the tune, idk, it’s so fun and catchy until you get to the bridge and that’s what i love “rest and recreaaaaaa- four years at the front...” that’s on ptsd “the air filled with a stench of bodies in a trench. whoever pays the most i call my liege.” just the bitterness when he says that line. Amazing.  “and whatever i do i’ll make sure this is true i will never go back again.” i literally adore this part so much. it gives him so much motivation. and then we go right back into him being flirty because he’s covering up his ptsd with fun “But for a few night fun is my mission” oh me oh my that’s very attractive he sounds so awkward talking to frollo im going to cry  “there is no time for rest and recreation,” poor guy

Rhythm of the Tambourine -  “flash of an ankle flip of a skirt...come see me dance, hey what can it hurt?” I just love how she sings this part its so well done the dance break music is amazing. it’s just so nice and a great vibe.  “this girl who is she” the layers!!!! all three of them doing it in rounds!!! I love it!!! “she dances like the devil//she dances like an angel//an angel” AHHHHH beautiful, great way to show the differences in characters “but with such fire// such fire” I am in love with this line oh my gosh. like frollo is thinking about hellfire and pheobus is just like heart eyes i am also in love with esmeralda thank you

Topsy Turvy pt. 2 -  “aren’t you going to join in on the competition?” she’s so cute and pretty and i love her “we asked for the ugliest face in paris and we found him, aye?” love  “eeev...ry..bod...y”  “Hail to the king....oh what a king...girls give a kiss...we’ve never had a king like this!” just so much fun to sing 

Into Notre Dame -  “how could you do this to me?” more manipulation  “like a begger recieving an alm.” i love a good simile “the light of notre dame” I love the way she sings this, it’s just so good 

God Help the Outcasts -  “were you once an outcast too?” i love this because the answer is yes. Jesus was treated as other because of His teachings. He was most definitely an outcast, literally cast out of so many different towns. And He does listen to her prayer and it just makes me so emotional.  i literally...there is nothing wrong with this song. everything about it is beautiful.  “God help the outcasts or nobody will” chills every single time “I ask for love I can possess. I ask for God and hos angels to bless me” right into “I ask for nothing, I can get by” I LOVE IT SO MUCH it’s so beautiful.  the chorus of this show deserves a raise “but I know so many less lucky than I” really helps to show Esmeralda’s character a lot I think. 

Top of the World -  such a beautiful song like I could write the entirety of this song here because I love it so much I love the saints part so much the part when the saints are singing and esmeralda are singing is just beautiful especially the part “here at the top of the world(E)//look at you sitting at the top of the world(S)” “the two of us sitting/the two of us sitting/the two of you sitting” right into “On top of the world!” one of my favorite parts of the entire show oh my goodness. The way Quasi, Esmeralda, and the Saints all blend together so well is just askjhfklafkj

Tavern Song -  I can’t not dance to this song oh my it’s so so so fun.  just like the melody especially during “in the dark of the night, in the dead of the winter...come keep me warm until morning” I LOVE  It gives me very much Jack and Rose vibes from that part in Titanic “with the taste of the wine, hold me close while we’re dancing, but I hear you sighing, winter is dying, you’ll keep me warm until morning” HER VOICE IS SO GOOD the cross between the tavern folk singing and frollo singing in the Hellfire tune is just so good. just so good. i’m going to cry this show is beautiful.  the fading “come keep me warm until morning”s is UGH so good

Heaven’s Light -  When I tell you how much I adore this song.... his voice is just so soothing. the little flute thing in the background is just so sweet the way he sounds so happy the first time he says “Heaven’s light” i love him so much “but” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i cannot  “I swear it must be heaven’s liiiiiiiiiiiiiiight” one of my favorite notes in the entire show i swear it’s so beautiful also the bells of notre dame going right into Hellfire....ICONIC

Hellfire -  One of my favorite villain songs ever. Especially in this version, you can really hear his inner turmoil over Esmeralda. and i just love it.  from the get go, frollo is trying to put him above everyone (”you know i am a righteous man”, “so much purer than...”) and yet he is still struggling with lust like everyone else...he’s still a sinner “i feel her, i see her, the sun caught in her raven hair, is blazing in me out of all control” SO GOOD  “Like fire, hellfire” go look back at what he says in rhythm of the tambourine because it’s the same thing and i just “is turning me to sin” blaming esmeralda for his own sinful thoughts. it is not her that is turning him to sin. he is sinning of his own accord. but also the desperate way he says sin is always so interesting  “it’s not my fault, i’m not to blame, it is the [roma] girl, the witch who set this flame! It’s not my fault, if in God’s plan, he made the devil so much stronger than a man!” I really really love this series of lines so much. I can’t really explain it, but especially that last part. it just breathes a supposed “holy man” who can’t accept that his sins are his own and caused by himself so he’ll blame every single other thing other than himself. i’ve known too many people like this. “protect me maria, don’t let this siren cast her spell, don’t let the fire sear my flesh and bone” just so good. I love the voices in the background.  “destroy esmeralda and let her face the fire of hell, or else let her be mine and mine alone” he would rather condemn an innocent woman than confront his own sin. again, so many people are like this today. it’s just so thrilling to see that mindset condemned in media. also, patrick page is amazing  “hellfire, dark fire” the tone switch from him being scared of the hellfire the first time he said it to now he’s using it as power (how many of us have had hell weaponized against us? raise of hands?) is just so frightening and amazing all at the same time “God have mercy on her, God have mercy on me” I cannot tell you how much I love this line. it is phenomenal, especially the way Page sings it. I think that it is one of the central lines to his character (along with the “wicked shall not go unpunished” which i’ll probably talk about later) just the emotion he has in his voice when he says this line....chef’s kiss. especially with the next line (”but she will be mine or she will burn”), it seems like he knows what he’s doing is wrong (hence why he needs mercy), but he’s going to do it anyway

Esmeralda -  easily one of my favorite songs in this entire show. what an amazing end of act song oh my  the trumpets!! at the beginning!!! I love it!! “being under suspicion of sorcery, witchcraft, and the arts of hell” that is not actually why he’s arresting her which doubly means he knows that what he’s doing is wrong the tune of this song is SO GOOD I LOVE IT “these are the flames of Esmeralda...” this dude is obsessed with fire feels very much like the mob song from beauty and the beast “with the might of Notre Dame” using God in such a vulgar manner is blasphemous and frollo knows it. he’s using God’s might and strength to hunt down an innocent woman because he can’t control his own desires. I’m losing my mind “but the madam, that whore, denied it and swore by the saints, the saints of notre dame” i have no idea why but I adore this line and i love the way that it was song. I used to think that the madam was actually just esmeralda in disguise which made the next part of the song seem all the funnier the little lute strumming after frollo says “very well, we’ll set fire to it” because pheobus is having a change or heart “and he held the torch that crackled like the [woman’s] voice....and he knew this was the moment he must make a choice” this is why i like the play phoebus and not really the movie phoebus very much. i just love it  the chorus singing God help the outcasts in the background...amazing...chills “you’d throw away a promising career” Frollo’s desperate attempt to get him to comply  “God help the outcasts, or nobody will!” I LOVE THIS PART WITH MY WHOLE SOUL IT IS SO GOOD sometimes i’ll listen to this song on repeat just to hear him say this “you’re relieved of your patrol” “consider it my highest honor.” Iconic. just...so good. gives me very much “thank you for your consideration” vibes  the way frollo says kyrie eleison here is just so good frollo’s little speech is very cool with the chorus in the background I love Quasi’s little frantic verse there. you can hear his desperation in “fire, fire, smoke and flame” and then “is that all that I can do?” he wants to help his friend but he can’t and I know how horrible that feels phoebus part!!!!! I love it!!!! his voice is so nice!!! “with my career and body left for dead” nice, good, amazing.  “out there...” AHHHHHHH YES MOTIFS “somewhere she is lost//somewhere she is lost//Esmeralda!” love this bit so much  “the flames grow tall and sharp as fluer de lis” what a good metaphor, so good, so nice, I love the chorus they’re all amazing “all paris burns for esmeralda” now we’ve got burning again. are we talking about how paris is literally on fire because frollo is insane or is it the mob mentaility that is “burning” inside of them? good question.  “and still it all comes down to her and me” says three people. I love the melodies here. chills. so many of them. I love.  “the devil dwells in esmeralda//oh esmeralda//oh esmerlada//oh esmeralda” AHHHH again AHHHHHHH i love this bit (yes I know I say that a lot but its the truth) “wake up the city and sound the alarm!” good yes they’re all singing different bits and it’s growing and your heart is pounding until.... “these are the flames of esmeralda”  and then it all falls apart again oh my gosh it’s beautiful  until “the bells of notre dam!” and the “ah, ah, ah”s that I adore so much I love this song so much 

Entr’acte I can’t imagine how fun this would be to sing. it’s just a vibe Flight Into Egypt - I used to skip this song but I have since learned the error of my ways because i love it “then Quasimodo you can too” love that, just like he says it “and she gave it to you because she knows you’re smart” the fact that these are just part of his imagination so it’s really him telling himself he’s smart and i’m going to cry I love him so much “and this jewel must show where we’re supposed to meet” love his voice so much “it’s a map. it’s a map!” he’s so excited. he deserves the entire world.  “I’ll save esmeralda, her angel will be me,” brb crying  “for her I will be strong” still crying I love the entire end bit how their voices meld and the music swells all up until Quasi sings the last bit. it’s just so amazing

The Court of Miracles -  I’ve always loved this song. it’s so fun, but also sad.  “brother you’re there” YES  “but the dead don’t talk so you won’t be reveal what you found!” dead man tell no tales vibes “Not terribly different from bees in a hive” I love how erik says this line. claupin would be so fun to play oh my.  “where it’s a miracle...if you get out alive”  “any last words....i thought not *laughter*” obsessed with this  “but we must protect at all cost our secret, it’s our lives or yours!” and that’s the sad reality. that’s what makes this song sad to me.  “So you’re going to hang!” a lighter note as an end. very nice. 

In a Place of Miracles -  a few notes in and i’m already crying this song is so beautiful and i adore it. it makes me sad in a million ways but it also makes me so happy. the play did such a great job of making me love pheobus and esmeralda but also feel so, so bad for Quasi “but somehow you have made me someone new” yup i’m definitely crying “now i’m asking if you’ll let me come with you” you can’t see me but the tears are real “though our lives are tattered and torn, all i’m feeling now is reborn. i must be...” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Pheobus and esmeralda’s voices just meld together so well im gonna cry it’s so nice and as soon as the first chorus is over, the tears of happiness turn into tears of anguish because Quasi pulls up with his heaven’s light reprise and it tears my heart to shreds my heart breaks for him esmeralda and quasi singing at the same time gives me very much eponine and marius vibes from a heart full of love (we love victor hugo so much /sar) like the parallels in what the both of them are saying is just phenomenal “no more need for a heart of stone//better to have a heart of stone!” AHHHH STOP I LOVE IT AND IT HATE IT AT THE SAME TIME “that holds no hope in heaven’s light” stop i’m so sad and then the chorus come in and it’s just so beautiful “will we reach a friendlier shore, will we find a haven once more, where we’ll be in a place of miracles...” it’s so gorgeous “where’s my place of miracles//in a place of miracles” that sound? yeah that’s me sobbing in the corner and it builds again and i love it so much it’s just so beautiful 

Justice in Paris -  this is the least played song on spotify (by like hundreds of thousands) and I think that’s so funny but i think the chorus does such a great job here, as usual, because they just have that menacing sound to them

Someday -  another of my favorite songs. this one is hauntingly beautiful and I have so many opinions. get ready.  esmeralda is just so sad and you can hear it in every single word she says. god my heart is already breaking.  “that i’d live to see a day of justice dawn” i haven’t actually seen the stage version so i’m not sure if they have the part where she cries out “justice!” when quasi is getting attacked, but this part just hurts me to the soul because of that specifically. she cried out for justice and now she gets none. “and though I will die long before that morning comes, i’ll die while believing still it will come when I am gone” this line just hits so, so hard. i can’t even talk about it. just imagining her singing this and pheobus listening to her with tears in his eyes...nope i cannot...i will cease to exist and then he joins in and i can just imagine her feeling no longer alone because she’s hoping that it comes “someday” and he’s echoing it, assuring her that it will. I can just picture her trying to stay strong as she says “Godspeed this bright millennium on its way” but she can’t and so her words fall out as she’s saying “let it come” and she can’t finish but pheobus finishes it for her. “someday” and I can just see her breaking down. she’s going to die and she never gets to see it, but he assures her that it’s coming. and he starts it up again. he starts singing again, and I think that it gives her the strength she then needs to finish.  “someday, these dreams will all be real. Til then we’ll wish upon the moon!” of all the lines in the entire play, this is my absolute favorite. the way the sing it, the power they hold, their voices blending together so smoothly and perfectly. i cannot handle how amazing it is.  “one day...some day...soon” and just like that, i am sobbing. beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful. 

While the City Slumbered - i love this little song. it’s so pretty and fast and it just gives us exactly what we need to know. love. 

Made of Stone -  Now to the last of my favorite songs. (Finale doesn’t count because although I love it, it hate it). You wanna know which song has the top score of making me cry the most? That’s right. This one right here. Let’s get into it. the talking at the beginning is a yes from me. “I only make things worse!” felt that also, the sound of him sobbing ruins me. “how do you know what I believe, what do you know of me? what do you know of all the things I feel? you’re only made of stone” finally him acknowledging that they’re not actually real and all apart of his imagination. “who is it that you see, instead of seeing what I am for real?” imposter syndrome? I understand that. “this twisted flesh and bone” the EMOTION  “you’re a liar” bro i cannot physically handle this. i can’t. I will cry. I am cry “would that I were made of stone like you,” back to that place of miracles song. i just he’s just so desperate. the only thing he could ever trust has fallen. He has nothing left. he can’t even trust himself (because that’s really all the stone saints by) “shut my brain down, if I were senseless, I’d prefer it” i totally understand the feeling of this. so often when thing go wrong in my life, i would like to shut down completely and stop existing and I think that’s what makes this song hit so damn hard “another gargoyle on this turret, spitting rain down to the stones below!” there is so much passion in his voice I love it so much. michael arden deserves the entire world for this performance “i’ve waste my faith believing in saints of plaster,” OUCH “the only one worth believing in was my master,” OUCH AGAIN “he’s the one who never lied. he told me it was cruel outside. he told me that i had to hide. his words were cold as stone, but they were true.” i can’t describe how emotional these lines make me. because he’s right but also it is such a painful, hard truth. ugh, i  “not like you”  “take all the dreams you’ve stone, take all your lies and leave me alone”  “alright Quasimodo, we’ll leave you alone,” that one hurt because as someone who pushes people away when they’re self destructing, the most painful part is seeing them actually leave you. even though you asked them too. “you’re right Quasimodo, we’re only made of stone, we just thought that you were made of something stronger.” now that’s a mic drop That would cut so, so deep.  “never again to wonder what’s out there” m o t i f s  “let it remain unknown. and my one human eye forever more be dry until the day i die, as if I were made of stone”  such a beautiful, heartbreaking, real song that I think so many people can relate to. I know I can. I have cried to this song so many times. I love it.  also, he holds that note for so long i’m impressed.

Finale - this song is long so get ready for it.  the crimes that Esmeralda is guilty for are not the ones that she was originally hunted for. he switched up his story. “the sentence is death!” immediate kyrie eleison (which i think is for frollo and not esmeralda) she spits in his face like a freaking queen “esmeralda!” Quasi’s cry is just so heart shattering and emotional I am so sad “he could remain stone no longer” I love that “sanctuary! sanctuary!” with the victorious sounds in the background are just so amazing “hear me, people of Paris, how much oppression will you allow?” with the chorus singing Someday in latin in the background?? I am not crying again “someday, your patience will finally break. why not make someday come right now?”  that part is just chef’s kiss. I love it so much. also, that’s the last we hear of pheobus. I’ve always wondered if he died so someone whose been in/seen the play, could you tell me? quasi’s prayer to the saints is just so good. i just love it so much. so beautiful. and it being similar in tune to Heart of Stone and having the part “raining fire on the stone below!” is just so good and then the moment between quasi and esmeralda is just... “you are home.” “home.”  and then we go to the top of the world reprise. haha. haha. ha.  “in my eyes you are beautiful too,” comparing him to the beautiful morning “i don’t think...forever...” “you’re such a good friend quasimodo” “yes your friend” and then she freaking dies and i’m so sad and then the music changes so quickly and it makes my heart drop every time “because of you” cut deep “at last we’re free of esmeralda. now that she’s gone, a poison dies with her.” to the tune of esmeralda. bitch i would have thrown frollo off that roof too “here in our sanctuary...sanctuary” “sanctuary? no sanctuary without her”  “even...loved her.” “love? what do you know of love?” I adore this part because Quasimodo finally realizes that Frollo’s treatment of him wasn’t love. It never was.  “no. you are the weak one. you the wicked one. And the wicked shall not go unpunished!” I cannot explain the fire that this lights in my bones. it’s amazing. just so good. and then all the voices, like the saints, come in “the wicked shall not go unpunished. the heart of the wicked is of little worth. the wicked shall not go unpunished” and they’re no longer on frollo’s side (they never were) the rising voices as quasi picks up frollo and is going to kill him *chef’s kiss* “You don’t want to hurt me” “yes you do” so, so, so, so, so good. i can’t even explain. it’s just good.  in to the abyss below! damnation! “the world is cruel, the world is ugly” yes  “but there are times and there are people when the world is not” i’m not 100% positive, but i’m pretty sure that’s jehan again and that’s just so beautiful. “and at it’s cruelest it’s still the only world we’ve got” the bitter truth “out there” yup yup yup crying you can’t stop me The bit with the chorus singnig someday in latin and english...i literally cant handle it. it is so freaking beautiful. and the violin? the woman singing is an icon. the voices blend together so beautifully. I am overcome with emotion. i- Quasi singing the last “someday” and then the blending into the beginning song and ugh “but here is a riddle to guess if you can, what makes a monster and what makes a man?” with the entire ensemble? yeah, that one feels good.  and being left off with the “ah”s

yeah, brb, i’m going to go listen to it again.

[twelfth-harbinger]

A/n: Greetings! Request away! Here’s a sample of my writing! Just a few cute head cannons I’ve been dreaming up! — I plan do Liyue next! Enjoy ^^!

Nightly Routines — Monstadt

Warnings: None! All Sfw!

Mentions: Bed time routines and nightly activities!

Lisa

She likes to read before before bed, I suppose this is not much of a surprise but alas...

How could she not allow herself to be lost in the sweet confines of a book in the late night hour?

If she is not reading — the Purple Rose is experimenting with an array of different ingredients.

Crafting potions... she so eagerly wants others to try.

“Come now, these are just harmless concoctions. Nothing dangerous cutie. Nothing that a Calla Lilly won’t heal.”

Sometimes she’ll read Klee a book before her bedtime.

Reading with company like Klee is always a treat.

Lisa likes to “save energy”, with all the book keeping work she has to do during the day.

Hunting down those who have overdue books.. at night is so taxing.

She’s usually in bed early to be ready for the next day to come.

Sometimes she’ll have long talks with Jean about miscellaneous things that happen throughout their day.

It’s very relaxing and Lisa gives great advice.

Klee comes up a lot she just worries about those bombs..

Jean

She’s doesn’t really have a bed time routine.

She falls asleep at her desk instead of in a proper bed. It worries Lisa and Barbara.

What’s sleep? She’s always up late into the night doing paperwork “It’s exhausting just looking at the work pile” — Kaeya

Though, when Jean is able to finish up for the day without any issues, she likes to take the time to soak in a hot bath.

She stays inside for as long as she can.

It simply relaxes her muscles and relieves any tension the day might’ve given her.

Lisa joins her sometimes, seems that woman gives her peace of mind.

When she’s all tucked in at night she enjoys indulging in books akin to Lisa.

Reading tales of legendary heroes. Her favorite being the King of Khaenri’ah.

Honestly, she does not like sleeping. She has asked Lisa for a potion that keeps her awake.

But, when she finally does wish to sleep she has a hard time doing so and well...asks Lisa for aide.

Lisa reads her a bedtime story too or rather she tells her stories about the strong and admirable people she has met at Sumeru Arcademia. — This occurs during their long late night talks.

Kaeya

He wouldn’t be Kaeya if he didn’t have a glass of wine before bed.

He’s enjoys the company of Lisa from time to time they will share a glass.

Before going to bed and leaving for the night, he checks in on Klee.

He makes sure she’s alright but, that’s usually only after she has caused trouble for Jean that day.

Those pointers seem to go to waste. Pls don’t report him.

Kaeya likes to take his time before getting into bed.

He usually takes off his clothes and strips down to his bottoms. Or naked

Yes, he removes his eye patch but, only his reflection has seen what lies underneath.

Kaeya stargazes as he enjoys his nightly glass of sparkling wine.

Once he has had a few and they’ve warmed his insides, he’ll take a cool shower to regulate his body temperature.

It relaxes him more than a hot bath or shower would.

When he’s out falls asleep fairly quickly.

Diluc

He does not sleep much.

Given his nightly rounds keeping Monstadt safe from any posing threats, overseeing Monstadt’s wine industry and running the Dawn Winery...

Diluc escapes sleeps like Houdini.

Not that he wants to but he simply doesn’t have the time.

Like his voice line for relax is literally “Guess we can rest for a bit” like he didn’t have any plans on doing that before lmao poor Diluc.

He cares about the safety of Monstadt and her people.

Kaeya may be an ass at times but, he can tell that even he worries about his lack of sleep.

When he does have a moment to relax, he will play a round of chess with his butler while drinking grape juice.

He likes to drink that before bed instead of wine in difference to Kaeya.

Diluc often gazes at the collection of artwork he has around the manor.

It’s so intricately detailed, many thoughts and emotions were sewn into each of the piece by its maker. He notices it all.

He does all these things because he’s so used to being up for long periods of time that when it is finally time to rest his head. He’s up doing these idle things.

Diluc lies in bed for a long while before drifting off into a restless sleep, before he even realizes it — sometimes the sun rises and he needs to work yet again.

Klee

She’s never truly tired when her bedtime rolls around.

Always doing bomb experiments inside of her “room”

The guard that stands outside her door is genuinely scared they’ll get blown up...again.

Jean has to confiscate everything so she goes to bed on time.

Lisa will read to her for a while.

Her voice is so sweet and soothing it’ll easily put her to bed.

Klee keeps Dodoco close by when she’s tucked in.

She never sleeps without it, she also sleeps with a bomb right next to her.

It may not be a good idea to surprise her in the middle of the night.

For everyone’s safety lmao.

After a long day of treasure hunting with Bennett or being saved from a disaster by Razor. Klee will fall asleep quite easily.

Amber

She has a lot of energy even before bed.

So, to tire herself out she will go for a nightly run or jog in and around the city of Monstadt.

She will also glide around from time to time up by the church.

Feeling the night wind in her hair is a nice stress reliever.

She may not sleep right away, she wanders around the Knights HQ and often sees Lisa up reading if she isn’t sleeping.

She may also check in on Klee, she doesn’t really like her being inside that confinement cell.

If she isn’t doing that, she may go on a nightly hunt before bed too.

Just so she can cook up a good breakfast in the morning.

All that energy needs to go somewhere.

She’ll eat moon pie before bed, she knows it’s not good to eat and then go directly to sleep but... it just tastes so good!

Barbara

Outside her room everyone can hear her humming to herself.

The acoustics in the cathedral are top notch she sings there are night when it’s empty.

Bennett often walks in covered head to toe in scraps and bruises.

Nearly scares her half to death. She heals him of course.

In her pjs’s Barbara sits in front of her vanity, singing to herself as she brushes her hair.

She has a melody to go along as she counts each brush stroke.

She checks in on Jean to make sure she’s not working herself to death.

Some nights she helps Jean to a proper bed.

If she isn’t sleeping during the late night hour she may be performing at the Angel’s Share.

Diluc frowned the entire time.

Her performances tucker her out and she sleeps as soon as she sees her bed!

She’ll take a bath first though and sing there too. Barbara will never stop singing!

Fischl

When she’s alone out adventuring on a quest Fischl can relax a bit more.

She sits under the illuminated night sky with Oz, gazing up at the stars.

Dreaming of far off worlds with the company of Oz by her side.

She can break character in front of him.

She lets her hair out and takes off the eye patch when she’s not in front of people.

She brushes her fingers through her hair a few times to allow it to fall freely. Only to pick up one of her favorite novels.

Always manages to read herself to sleep until or until the sun rises.

She reads a lot of fantasy novels and of course makes sure to return them on time.

Fischl spends her time in the adventures guild usually until the late night hour.

It’s a bit hard to understand her word choice but everyone there tries to be nice about it.

It’s a good thing Oz is there to translate.

Fischl is one for walks through the city of Monstadt at night, well that’s when she usually returns from her adventures outside the city.

She’s tired then and will quickly fall fast asleep, she’s more of a day time bather than a night.

Diona

She spends her nights bartending.

If she’s not busy making delicious drinks...

She’s out in the wild searching for ingredients to make a concoction with a horrid taste.

All in efforts to bring down the wine industry in Monstadt.

She has her reasons but, she dares not to speak of them in front of anyone and especially with Diluc around. — Seems he has eyes and ears everywhere?

Diona is an excellent bartender in fact, she’s so good at her job that the people who frequent there are there for her!

Her nights consist of entertaining the guest at the Cats Tails whilst also making drinks.

It’s fairly tiresome but when the night is over she goes home.

Not to sleep no, but to try and come up with a drink that will utterly topple the wind industry.

If she comes to a standstill, Diona will go out and ask around about the things people would most hate to drink.

When she does sleep, she will crawl into the comforts of her own bed. Doing nothing but stretching to get comfortable as she moves to rest.

Which seems to occur when the sun begins to rise. She sleeps throughout the day so that she can focus on her job at night. — that is unless she’s asking around to feed into her plans. One may see her during the day!

Razor

Will always watch the moon and star lit skies before he falls asleep.

He does this while keeping watch.

He checks on his lupical throughout the night too.

Just to make sure they’re all sleeping easy and peacefully.

Will sit and eat meat casually letting his feet dangle by the cliff side.

He honestly doesn’t do much before falling asleep.

Razor think about a plethora of things though before it tires him out.

How he’s not a real wolf mainly — it saddens him.

In any case he enjoy going to bed with a full stomach.

If he’s feeling restless, he will go for a run as well.

All that excess energy disappears once it’s concluded.

After that he’s too tired to think about anything else other than sleep.

He smells like a wolf and won’t bathe too often — doesn’t see it as a necessity to being a wolf.

If he’s out at night and sees Lisa she will make sure he’s clean even if she has to shock him.

Bennett

He sleeps like a baby most times but as luck would have it...sometimes he doesn’t.

It’s mainly when he’s out adventuring.

When he finally drifts off into sleep — not that he does much to prepare for sleep to begin with other than getting comfortable.

Bennett keeps his fire going to stay warm.

It unfortunately attracts hilichurls.

He stays up late trying to defend himself and his treasure from them.

He lost everything once lmao.

When he isn’t out and about, he’s in the guild.

Staying up late taking care of his Dads.

Always makes sure they’re all alright before he even thinks about sleeping.

Bennett, after assuring their happiness and comfort would then rest.

He thinks about death but not in a fearful way albeit, it does cross his mind often at night but he tries not to dwell.

Sometimes his nights are spent being mended by Barbara — he falls asleep at the cathedral too if he’s too tired to move.

It all depends where his adventures have him end up!

Noelle

She cleans before bed, any surroundings that may be out of place Noelle will scrub, sweep and dust until it shines.

She’s often doing errands during the day or helping out with the Knights at HQ.

When night falls she’s fairly tired.

Albeit she does not show it, the hard work she does is quite the energy drain.

She barely lets herself rest often doing the “less dangerous” jobs assigned to her by Jean or Kaeya. All in efforts to keep her safe.

When night falls and she has done everything she could do for that day, Noelle will practice with her claymore crafted by Wagner.

She stays up late trying to refine her skills until she can’t swing anymore.

She may have super human strength but after a few rounds of practice she will get tired.

She likes to soak in a hot bath with geo salts. It’s relaxing and rejuvenating.

The healing properties aide in strengthening her body when she’s exerted herself from a longs day work.

Sucrose

Research.

It takes up her days and her nights.

Lisa is always so insightful to almost everything that she does.

It is very helpful but Sucrose seems to never know why.

She loves alchemy and will often fall asleep at her work station. With experiments bubbling over and materials by her head.

Albedo wakes her only to tell her to go rest somewhere properly — wait for a new day to begin again.

Sucrose uses this time to bathe as well but she won’t soak in a bath for very long she prefers hot showers they’re brisk and warm her up just the same.

She will read alchemy books before moving to rest for the night and sometimes she’ll fall asleep with them in her lap.

Scribbling down notes along the way, she often wakes up in the morning with books and paper scattered throughout her bed.

Mona

She is a night owl, very rarely will someone see her during the day unless she’s shopping for something to eat at Sara’s.

But even then she’ll go out and do that at night if it’s not too late.

She scrys, usually somewhere out in about in one of the forests of Monstadt.

Honestly it’s hard to fall asleep on an empty stomach so she reads the stars like a book until she’s too tired to do so anymore. In hopes of possibly making a breakthrough of some sort.

Astrology being the only thing that can put her to sleep when she’s feeling restless.

She will indulge herself in a few experiments as well, getting “important work” done so that she can further her magical prowess.

Mona can’t discern the origins of a few things in Monstadt — that often keeps her up as night.

She will read star maps while she’s soaking in a warm bath at night before bed.

They float above the water and she turns the wheel in the air with as she proceeds with divination.

Being surrounded by water in a warm bath and their reflective surfaces always helps her see clearly.

Venti

He does not sleep at a set time.

Be it night or day...

It is always random with him.

Not to say he does not get tired but..

Venti does things on his own time.

He stays up drinking through all hours of the night.

He will sit atop his statue within the heart of Monstadt.

Always with an expression on his face that reads that of melancholy and longing.

It is there he falls asleep and it’s not for very long.

He doesn’t do anything to prepare for sleep it simply has to catch him in the wind.

Venti will sing, of tales new and old.

He may even go to the cathedral to see Barbara — he has watched her preform at Angels Share.

He often tries to bum a drink off Diona but never gets very far.

If he’s not in the city he’s out by the large tree you can always find him under.

Writing poetry, songs and playing the lyre.

He will fall asleep doing these things.

It’s there he will sleep the longest and where the sunrise wakes him for the new day.

[my-bated-breath]

Closing Thoughts on Vincenzo

No one asked, but here you go.

I watched the last two episodes of Vincenzo yesterday, but even in the midst of my viewing experience I was able to synthesis and analyze what I was enjoying and not-enjoying, what worked and what didn’t work (for me), so that itself says something about how immersive it was. Of course, Vincenzo is a great show — the action is sharp and satisfying, the schemes are elaborate and spectacular, the humor is cracky yet genuine, and the characters are so, so lovable. And I loved the romance side plot, because yes, I am weak. Still, the last 2-4 episodes strained some of that, and this is my take on why I felt not exactly disappointed, but underwhelmed in the final stretch. I’m also including what I did like at the very end, as that makes sense with how I’m structuring this kind-of-analysis.

spoilers below

Tension, Stakes, and Pay-off

The tension in Vincenzo has been ramped up ever since the death of Vincenzo’s mother, loudly and painfully declaring in that moment that “this is not a game” (contrary to Vincenzo telling Hanseok in jail that he’s toying with him). This leads to a chilling confrontation between Vincenzo and the antagonists while also uniting the residents of Geumga in all-out, unapologetic war. And there is no more game of chess — just one of cat and mouse, with Vincenzo descending upon his prey.

Hence, Vincenzo is noticeably less soft, and he strikes Babel with the steel of his resolve. His schemes feel much more sinister than mischievous as they had been before; he is ending this, once and for all. So, how does the show amp up the tension and stakes from there?

Well, it’s all in what I said before. The tension is teased out in Vincenzo stealing everything Hanseok has ever treasured and then taunting/threatening him in prison, and then with the Babel villains descending into chaos and desperation. The stakes, however, are less noticeable, because Vincenzo is kind of obviously winning. The stakes have already been established with Vincenzo’s mother, then paid off with her death, and then paid off even more with Vincenzo mercilessly seizing the upper hand.

That’s why I feel like Myunghee and Hanseo’s death just... happened. Because it’s been 3 whole episodes since Vincenzo has founded this new resolve, that sort of dragged out follow-up loses its thrill and gratification. They’ve been defeated now, completely and totally. But so what? They’ve been on the losing end for more than 3 hours of screen time now, and even their last resort of a counterattack didn’t hold much narrative weight (which is something I’ll get to later). Their deaths are not boring to say the least — I saw a post that said something similar to “Myunghee, a woman who danced to the music of others’ pain, died dancing to her own” and “Hanseo, a man with no heart, has a hole drilled into that empty cavity.”

But their deaths also happen very isolated from everyone else, not just physically, but emotionally as well. It’s almost as if Vincenzo’s clapping his hands and saying, “Let’s wrap this up now, I’m getting a little tired.” And while I wouldn’t say their deaths are unnecessarily cruel, given everything they’ve done, I don’t think Vincenzo does this in response to anything particularly substantial. Is this for his mother’s death? For Chayoung’s injury? For everyone else? Well, maybe, but it sure didn’t feel like he was contemplating that during or after torturing them. If I put the Vincenzo from the beginning of the show there in those two scenes vs Vincenzo from the end of the show, post character development and all, I think the only difference would be that beginning-of-the-show Vincenzo would still be unfamiliar with Babel’s crimes and see this as a waste of time.

A sort of side note: Now, one of the strong points of this show is its use of comedy in its otherwise very serious schemes (I still thinking about episodes 8 and 15 all the time). But with the impending climax and increasingly serious tone, there was no comedy to make said-serious schemes as engaging to watch. So now unable to rely on one of its greatest strengths, the show must rely on emotional impact. Or similarly: narrative weight.

Narrative Weight

In episodes 19-20, Chayoung is shot, Hanseo dies, and Chulwook is stabbed (and you think he’s going to die but he doesn’t). Who said there was no emotional impact in these episodes again?!

Oh right. Me.

Beyond Hong Yuchan and Oh Gyeongja’s death, injuries and fatalities suffered from our protagonists’ side don’t really have that many consequences. You can argue the consequences of Hanseo dying is that we’re all very sad, but both we and the characters are barely given a moment to grieve before we have to move on. What does Hanseo die for? He dies as an abuse victim just beginning to break out of the cycle he was trapped in, and that itself isn’t necessary a bad narrative choice, and he dies as a warrior in this Mafia vs Conglomerate war, but what does he die for? If it’s for Vincenzo and Chayoung to live, they pretty much get lucky with Hanseo running out of bullets. If it is to show that he had changed, and that this tied into some greater theme of redemption, then his death really isn’t really given enough thought for it to resonate well. I would’ve loved to see Vincenzo reflecting on Hanseo learning to trust and love again, despite all the mistakes he made in the past, and how that influences his own decision to embrace his version of villainous justice. But no. This is something I only thought of after reading a few Vincenzo posts and trying to justify my own moral for the show.

Don’t forget that Chulwook almost dies too. Like I genuinely believed he was dead, shed a tear for the daughter he would never meet, and then the show went like, “Guess what? Psyche!”

I’m not very fond of that injury/pseud-death-but-not-really.

And now we have Chayoung, the person who Vincenzo is the closest to. Don’t get me wrong, I amso weak for her never giving into Hanseo and asking for death over Vinceno getting hurt, for guarding Vincenzo from the bullet, for Vincenzo’s shocked and empty eyes, for Chayoung’s glazed gaze, for him desperately and powerlessly hugging her tightly because that’s all he can do for her now. Afterwards, she’s in the hospital, her shoulder is recuperating, and there’s a nice Chayenzo parallel to episode 4 when Chayoung was waiting by Vinny’s hospital bed. But afterwards afterwards? She’s just in the hospital. Sidelined from the climax.

Vincenzo told her, “I will finish this, for you.” That could’ve worked, because we could’ve seen Chayoung emotionally or spiritually with us during the climax and Myunghee and Hanseo’s deaths. But like I mentioned earlier, it really didn’t feel that way. Ultimately, the narrative tells us that Chayoung’s injury just means she can’t strain herself for a couple of days, despite initially delivering it so dramatically and emotionally.

As one of my friends said while we were discussing this episode: Vincenzo is the titular character, but Chayoung has so much to care for too. Her father died because of Babel, and she said, “We should share the danger.” Instead, we got a decentish-but-slightly-underwhelming scene where she is driven to see Vincenzo off. Okay then.

Characters

Speaking of, Chayoung receives much of the short-end of the character development stick in the last 4 episodes. I found this to be acceptable in episodes 17-18, and she does have that moment where she looked uncertain and nauseated at the death of the “hunting dogs” before shoving down her misgivings, clinging onto a facade of strength as she says “this is what I wanted.” Also, even though it wasn’t episode 14, I wasn’t complaining about the Chayenzo moments either.

But still, this is the second most important protagonist in the narrative and nothing about her really changes in these last few episodes. Nor does she experience catharsis alongside Vincenzo, emotionally or otherwise. There had been some buildup about whether or not Chayoung can swallow the cruel path that she has chosen, but if she’s not even the given the chance to make her own decision on said cruel path, that’s just wasted set up.

(I know that during the Babel Tower party-fiasco Vincenzo told Chayoung that he originally wanted her to push the button that’ll kill one of the hunting dogs, but then decided against it upon seeing Chayoung’s wavering face, but like. Narratively, if she was the one to press it, and then we had some follow-up character arc about her coming to terms with her decision... Oh, we could’ve had it all.)

Another thing I want to point out is that Chayoung has been a foil to Vincenzo in that she represents the happiness, love, and innocence now unattainable to him. (This is just his view, by the way, since Chayoung isn’t exactly innocent herself, which he could’ve seen if the show had only taken this direction.) That is to say, Vinceno’s most interesting character moments are drawn out of him by Chayoung: In his apartment, when they are under the ceiling-stars, and she asks him whether he has ever killed anyone. On the rooftop, when they decide that Hanseok must lose everything before he dies, and he promises to her that he’ll stay in Korea to see things through to the end, in direct contrast to himself at the beginning of the show. In the highway pass, when she embraces him after a gunfight, the closest he’s ever grazed past death. When they drink makgeolli together and he tells her about what her father wanted to say to her. When they sit together by the riverside and she tells him that his mother would have been proud of him.

One of my favorite parts of episodes 11-12 during the gun fight is just how emotionally present Chayoung is, despite not wielding a gun herself, or even being anywhere near the action. I’m not sure if I’m getting this right, but I think this is the first time Vincenzo had killed people on screen, so to see Chayoung embrace him so tearfully afterwards almost felt like he was being reminded of his humanity. And this also shows that Chayoung, despite saying that she would feel distant towards Vincenzo if he did have blood on his hands, loves him closely, so closely it hurts.

We think about Vincenzo, what it means to be a consigliere, and his distorted flashbacks of flesh and blood and killing and losing himself, and that teddy bear, slowly panning out to a child, staring at him in fear. We think about how is it possible for him to love again? Can he even know what love is?

Then Chayoung appears, a woman whose very presence unraveled the mystery that is Vincenzo. But the moment that Chayoung’s development was stunted, that was the moment Vincenzo lost his foil, and we, the audience, lost the ability to see how his past, present, and future reconcile.

Themes: Loving in Sin

In episode 20, Vincenzo and the monks have a conversation about whether he was worthy of love or not before being told that he was Vaisravana — and though he could never be accepted by Buddha, he would be appreciated at times, and he would have his own role to play too. I like this conversation a lot in concept. In execution, it would’ve left much weightier an impact if only we had seen Vincenzo’s journey to reconcile his villainy and humanity play out more, if we had a glimpse into the moral conflict warring in his mind. The last time the drama showed that to us — not told it to us — was with the death of Vincenzo’s mother.

I would add more, really, but I feel like my review up until here says everything I want it to. In my opinion, there was no real epiphany that Vincenzo reached upon hearing those words from the monk because he hadn’t reflected on it enough for there to properly be one. And the ending to Vincenzo and Chayoung’s romance would’ve felt a lot better if it was Vincenzo choosing to love her despite his fear of himself, despite his belief that he could only hurt people. (Also that ending monologue wouldn’t have felt so tacked-on, like, oh wait this is supposed to have a theme right? Here, this is vaguely related, right?)

Because a lot of this emotional potential was not quite met, I think the finale also had to resort to some cheaper ways to make us feel for the romance, such as Chayoung rushing to see Vincenzo off and Vincenzo leaving the diplomacy-relations party early (he very poetically disappears while walking behind this sculpture, but I thought it was hilarious that if the shot didn’t get cut off there in another 2 seconds we could’ve seen him walking out of where that sculpture thing blocked him lol).

Overall though, I’m pretty happy with the romance’s ending, at least conceptually. The way they incorporated the story of cow herder and weaver girl and the bridge of pigeons (not magpies!) that will allow them to see each other again every year was so bittersweet, and as someone familiar with this myth, it made me very nostalgic. Also, I do think it works better with Vincenzo’s themes that he would be apart from Chayoung in some way. They each have their own lives to lead, but although they met by coincidence, they’ll remain by each other’s sides by intention. He is a villain, and so is she, but villains love tenaciously.

[hawkland]

My (mostly) Destiel Recs, Round-up #6

Well, between working like crazy on my DCBB fic and GISH and injuring my neck last month I haven’t kept up with my rec posts, so this one is going to be LONG and have a LOT and I’m going to try to break it up into sections, from oldies but goodies (some things I found on very old rec lists) to smutty delights to just tasty little bits of fluff, hopefully there’s something or everyone here. Most of these are not super-long, largely in the 10-25k range, though there are a few beyond that. With all the stuff I’ve had going on I haven’t wanted to lose sleep diving into 100k epics (especially when I’m writing my own right now, lol.)

“Oldies” but Goodies:  Here are two great fics written some time way back when but that still definitely slap.

Theodicy by manic_intent (11k) - Probably the most brilliant Godstiel fic I’ve read to date. One of Cas’s first acts as the new god is to make a new archangel. Dean isn’t exactly on board with having his soul re-sculpted into wings he hates on sight (especially as they seem magnetically drawn to Cas), but he isn’t exactly given a choice. He, Sam and Bobby struggle with how to handle their former friend suddenly becoming a vindictive deity - trying to make plans to kill him if they must, which is pretty hard when it seems like Cas is always one step ahead of him. Can Dean hold on to enough of his humanity to provide a conscience to Cas and try to steer him toward good acts instead of destruction? This is one that I can’t say has a perfectly happy ending, but it’s a hopeful and imperfect one that’s just right for how the story plays out. 

My Eyes Are An Ocean by entanglednow (10k) - Season 5 AU where Dean averts the apocalypse through a spell that “powers up” all the angels and he sees Cas’s true form - before being rendered blind. Dean tries to adjust to his blindness, Cas tries to deal with his guilt, and it’s just a lovely little read with an ending that’s... *chef’s kiss*

Lots more recs below the cut:

More great reads from some of my favorite authors I’ve recced before:

The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (21k) - This may be my new favorite DeanRH fic...at least for the moment. The year is 2152, Sam and Dean are long gone to Heaven, while Cas - stuck somewhere between mortal and angel - remains on Earth keeping vigil, keeping up the hunt, assuming he’ll never see either Winchester ever again. But when he starts hearing things, and imagining Dean visiting him as an angel himself, he starts losing grip on what is and isn’t real, and whether he can trust anything he sees or believes to be the truth. This is one hell of a psychological rollercoaster that kept me guessing right along with Cas until the very end. It also has some super-creepy horror elements, a novel “monster of the week”, and the hot-as-sin smut scenes I always expect from this author.

X Marks the Scot by DeanRH (15.9k) A fun little romp through history in one of this author’s great not-quite-au fics. Crowley sends Dean and Sam back in history to the Scottish Highlands to stop a monster, and while there they meet a blue-eyed clan chief who makes Dean weak in the knees. There’s something familiar about him, too. a very clever au that ties back to canon for an unexpected fix-it. Also, Cas in a kilt. Enough said.

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon by DeanRH (12k) - Sweet and slightly angsty AU. What if Dean was a gardener in ancient Babylon when a strange dignitary came to warn that the tower under construction was to be destroyed by angels? Lush, romantic and sexy with some wonderful tie-ins to canon characterizations (of Dean, Sam, John and of course Cas).

sufficient for thee by angelfishofthelord (21k) - This is a beautiful Cas angst-fest and character study that reimagines how angel grace works, particularly in regards to healing others. It covers the whole of Cas’s arc from Season 4 through a post-series fix-it, is absolutely stunning and features some great world-building in regards to the angels. (One important TW: those with cutting/self-harm issues may wish to skip or at least proceed with caution). I love that I can always count on angelfishofthelord when I need a good dose of Cas!whump and pain.

And laugh at gilded butterflies by ireallydidthistomyself (13k) - another great Dadstiel fic from this author featuring one of my favorite angsty subjects! I don’t know how I missed reading this one before. An AU where Cas is raising (baby)Jack on his own until the angels find the two of them and prepare to seal Jack away in the Ma’lak box. Cas begs them to let him go with Jack, so at least Jack won’t be alone for eternity. Meanwhile Dean is frantically trying to find what happened to Cas, and he gets some unexpected help from Crowley.  It’s sad and sweet and all the characterizations are great. A+ Crowley use here, too.

what stays (and what fades away) by dothraki_shieldmaiden (64k) - a fabulous read with some great art, too, that started me reading a bunch of fic from this author. Cas goes missing, and when he’s found he seems deep under a spell. When they finally manage to awaken him, he doesn’t remember anything of this life with Dean, Sam and Cas in the bunker. The last thing he knew he was a nurse living with his wonderful husband, Dean, and their two adopted children, Jack and Claire. What I loved about this one was the clever twist as to who was behind Cas’s curse and also how well-developed his AU world/existence was. I’m not generally keen on mundane aus or the one-dimensional way a lot of djinn dream fics tend to go for them, but this one managed to capture a believable version of Dean and Cas living a “normal” life without monsters without making it sugary/too-sweet. 

before knowing remembers by dothraki_shieldmaiden (14k) Post 15x04, a wonderful fic that plays with some meta topics in a clever way. Dean and Sam are happy - they have free will and they’ve won against Chuck, even if they suffered some big losses along the way (including Jack). But Dean can’t help but think he’s forgetting something...or rather, someone. Yet every time he thinks he remembers, the name and face of that someone slips from his mind. 

weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden (9k) Post-15x03 where Cas ends up going back to the Gas ‘n Sip and working with Nora after leaving the bunker. A bitter sweet divorce-arc AU and what I love the most is how it ends - not perfect, not tragic, just very real and believable. 

15x18 and Post-canon fix-it fics:

Orbital Velocity Around a Celestial Body by LeverDrift (26k) - An angsty but lovely fix-it fic, one where it gets worse for a while before it gets better. Dean pulls Cas from the Empty, where he’d been living in a fantasy world with a dream!Dean who was giving him everything real!Dean is certain he can’t. Dean has to struggle with wondering if Cas would have been better off with dream!Dean instead of him. This is one that will break your heart before putting it back together again as Dean struggles with his self-worth issues.

so good at crashing in by Wintertree (36k) - Another post-finale fix-it where Cas is back, the world is saved, and things are still...not as easy as it should be for either Dean nor Cas. Monsters are gone, there’s no more hunting to be done, and Cas wants to move out of the bunker somewhere closer to Claire, to move on with a proper human life. Dean thinks he can move there with Cas and stay as “best friends”, even to the extent that Cas encourages him to go out and have sex with others/women. (And wants to hear about it after the fact!) But can Dean figure out what he really wants, and what Cas wants as well? A refreshingly unique take on what a post-series life could have looked like for them.

Delicious smut:

Empty by squirrelofcelestialintent (43k) - Every day this fandom makes me rethink my previous squicks and DNWs in fanfic. Here I find myself enjoying quite a bit more dom/sub elements than I normally ever would! I think because I was absolutely drawn in by the breathtaking first chapter, capturing beautifully the emotions of Cas returning from the Empty in Season 13 if he and Dean had confessed their feelings right then and there. But Dean’s self-worth is all fucked up, he feels there’s no way he can be good enough for Cas, especially when his sexual desires run a little bit...let’s just say outside the vanilla and he’s struggling with shame over doing sex work when he was younger. This was HOT and POOR SAM really gets stuck in the middle of, well, hearing more about his brother’s sex life than he ever needed to.

He's My Mate by Hatsonhamburgers (22k) - This fic manages the delightful combination of humor and extreme hotness perfectly. Dean and Cas catch each other in some questionable masturbation situations. This leads Cas to decide he needs to buy Dean some proper sex toys. He’s just helping his best friend out, right? Sure. As I said, hysterical AND hot as hell. 

Generals by nanoochka (9k) - Cas/Dean, Cas/Balthazar/Dean, implied past-Cas/Balthazar. An old LJ fic I found on an ancient rec list that is just scorching hot and a brilliant character study of Cas and Dean. Balthazar decides to invite himself in when he catches Dean and Cas engaging in some frisky business, and it turns into a bit of a power-play between the two soldiers of Heaven. Cas gets DP’ed and it’s all...well. It’s fucking good, read it.

The One With The Preening by HolyFuckingHell (5.5k) Can I do a rec post without including some wing!kink/wing!grooming in it? No, I can’t. (I also really enjoyed some of the other fics in this author’s series including The One With Dean's Horny Movies).

A Single Point of Light by Destina (2.4k) - This is a gorgeous Cas/Dean/Benny Purgatory short! A delicious balance of the two each caring for and caring about Dean in their own, protective ways, definitely a delight for any fans of this threesome.

Short and sweet, fluff to angst:

Snugglebird by almaasi (5.3k) - So, so soft and sweet and snuggly, just like the title. Dean’s things are disappearing from the bunker...and so, suddenly, has Cas. What’s going on? I do love my nesting!Cas fics, so...yeah. If you need a smile this is a good one to read :)

And Cleanse Me From My Sin by thisisapaige (1.6k) - another one for my beloveds who also enjoy wing grooming and sweet Dean-taking-care-of-Cas fluff.

Needle and Thread by Misachan (4k) - Season 5 wing!fic hurt/comfort. Cas’s wings are badly injured, Dean doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, but he’s stitched up Sam and himself enough times. He can do this. If you love caretaker!Dean and vulnerable!Cas don’t overlook this little gem.

Deceptive Preludes by sp8ce (2.7k) - One of those stories that delves into some of the difficulties Cas might have after coming back from the Empty a second time, especially in regards to accepting what’s real or not, understanding Dean, and how both of their communication issues can add to their struggles. Painful but hopeful for the future, felt very believable as I read it.

[lovetenya]

✧ 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐚 𝐢𝐢𝐝𝐚’𝐬 𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

warnings: none.

word count: 3k 

author’s note: this constantly switches between you and tenya dating at UA and typical married domestic life. i’m writing this during my break from my color series. i’m still writing it, and still going to finish it, don’t worry. also, if this is your alphabet prompt, i’m sorry for not crediting you! i don’t remember where this is from!

A - Attractive (What do they find most attractive in a person and about you?)

personality-wise, i think tenya would gravitate toward someone that is intuitive, trustworthy, and kind-hearted. 

someone who isn’t going to tease about the things that hurt him, or question the things he holds nearest to his heart.

someone who would patch him up after a long day, help him with his arm, and hold his face in their hands.

someone who knows when to push, and when to release.

when to prod him with questions, encouraging him to share more, but not arguing and making him feel ashamed for his ambitions.

someone who will be gentle with him, and respect that he is a hero for all the right reasons and does it because he has to

i’m not doing physical appearance because it REALLY bothers me when people hc characters with a certain type.

to me, it feels like it’s made with the intention to leave people out, but...

do whatever you want, i guess. 

B - Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why Not? How big?)

tenya definitely wants a family

i think he would have 4-6 kids, to keep it even have a big, strong family

he grew up with siblings and loves them to death, so it only fits that he would want the same thing for his kids

but he wouldn’t pressure his kids into being heroes or into doing anything related to hero work, because he can understand how intimidating and suffocating that expectation is 

it scares him to think that he could get killed by a villain and have to leave them behind, but he does his best every day so that he can come home to you and all the little iidas

C - Cuddle (Do they like to cuddle? How do they like to cuddle most?)

honestly? i’m not really sure that tenya would like cuddling that much at first, but i think he’d do it for his significant other and it would grow on him.

i don’t feel like he’d be very cuddly or overly affectionate physically, but would do it to comfort and care for you.

i do think that he likes to hold you and keep you safe in his arms, so i do think that if you were gonna cuddle, he’d hold you close to his chest and wrap his arms around you so that he can press kisses to ur forehead (awww <3)

or he’d be the big spoon :>

don’t even kid yourself trying to be the big spoon, although he’s only 5′10″ i know that if you’re reading this you are NOT taller than him. don’t lie to me.

D - Date (Ideal date?)

tenya’s ideal date would be a quiet date away from others, maybe in a library for a study date.

OR A BOOKSTORE AND A COFFEE SHOP 

oh my gosh and he’d carry your books while you keep walking around and looking at other ones 

E - Energetic (How energetic are they?)

he’s up early for work, but comes home tired. he tries to stay up to talk after dinner, but as the days get longer, his energy wavers more.

i think he’s use to being up for long periods of time, but if he can relax, i think he’ll take that chance to fall asleep on the couch next to you.

F - Fight (How are they in a fight?)

if you’re fighting, he’s wants it to be fixed. he’s not interested in dramatics, or spite, or pettiness.

if he did something wrong, you know he’ll apologize profusely and try his best to give you space, if you need it. if not, he’ll comfort you and reassure you that he didn’t mean it that way, or that he didn’t think before he said it.

if you did something wrong, an apology will help. though sometimes the words hurt more than he’d like to admit, he believes you when you tell him that you’re sorry, and he’s willing to move on from it.  

i don’t think there would ever be a real, blown up fight, because he’s not one to overreact. yes, there will be arguments on whether he’s being taken advantage of by the agency (he is) and he’ll assert that he doesn’t care, because it isn’t about him anyway.

G - Gifts (How do they feel about gifts? How do they give them?)

he doesn’t really see the reason for receiving gifts, because he isn’t materialistic in the slightest. he’d rather you give him your all and your love than a tangible gift, but he won’t refuse anything

that’s rude

he grew up with everything he needed, so he never developed emotional attachment to items, but he loves giving them to other people and seeing how his small generosity can cause so much happiness in others

he’s definitely a meaningful and thoughtful gift giver, and puts a lot of effort into it to make sure it’s perfect 

H - Honesty (How honest are they? Do they keep secrets?)

he’s incredibly honest, but will sometimes downplay his physical pain so that you don’t worry about him 

he’s not going to lie and say “it doesn’t hurt at all!” but i can definitely see him acting tough and saying “it was just a scratch” when he actually got stabbed or something HAHA

(i hate when people only characterize him in relation to his family and how he has a heightened sense of honor, because that’s only a part of who he is. he’s not honest or heroic just because of his family, he does it because it’s the right thing to do. by making honor his only personality trait, you’re kind of playing into a false stereotype, and i’m not gonna call you what i want to call you, just know that your bad writing in your simplification of the culture as a whole is genuinely annoying to me in that aspect)

...

moving on

he doesn’t have any reason to keep secrets from his significant other. he wants to be able to trust you with anything and have you trust him right back, so he’s an open book for you.

if you ask him, he will tell you, regardless of what the question is

I - Injury (How do they react if you get injured?)

IT DEPENDS HOW IT HAPPENED

if you hurt yourself around the house and it wasn’t serious, he’d make sure you were okay and then laugh, saying “you should really be more careful.”

but if it was serious, (say, villain related?) 

J - Jealousy (Are they the jealous type? How do they deal with it?)

he’s not the jealous type, because he isn’t insecure and trusts you too much to suspect anything like cheating

i think if you were trying to make him jealous, he’d ask why you were doing that when you knew he’d give you affection whenever you want. he’s just confused.

K - Kiss (Their favorite way to kiss you?)

his favorite way to kiss you is away from others. pda isn’t his thing.

iida knows his strength, so he’s gentle.

he’ll lift your chin with his hand and press soft kisses to your lips and cheeks

or he’ll hold your face in both of his hands and bring you real close

(you can put your hands on his chest)

(he likes it)

L - Love Confession (How did they confess their love?)

he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable so he tried to be as respectful as possible

i think uraraka and midoriya would scout and interrogate you to see if you like him first

“WHAT’S HIS FAVORITE COLOR, Y/N? DO YOU KNOW?”

as if that’s an indicator

i think he’d give you a letter confessing because he was afraid his presence would be too intimidating for you to give a real answer

it would be very sweet and to the point

M - Mean (What are they like when they’re mean? Is it common?)

when he’s mean, it’s because he feels like he’s not meeting expectations or fulfilling his goals and he gets frustrated

it really isn’t about you but your distractions certainly aren’t helping his focus

i don’t think he’d full on yell at you, he’d just get pissy and ask you to “please let me get my work done”

it’s not really common, because he’s not usually behind on his work

N - Nicknames (Do they have nicknames for you? What are their favorites for them?)

i can’t see him do any of the goofy or overly affectionate ones like.. baby or something

probably just sweetheart, darling, my love, etc. or your first name bc even that feels like a lot to him

??? i don’t really know what he’d call you

but i think it’s cute to call him tenya, ten, honey, baby, etc.

he needs to be taken care of so just anything sweet and i think he’d be flustered

and ingenium (because it would annoy him HAHA)

O - Open (How long did it take for them to open up to you?)

i think that he’d hold back for the most part until he’s sure you’re serious about him and you’re not going to make fun of him for his deepest feelings

if he’s dating you, he expects that he’s able to trust you, so i think he would be relatively easy in opening up to you

P - Proposal (How would they propose? Would they propose at all?)

WOOOOOOOO

he would propose. duh.

he would plan it months in advance and have the perfect ring picked out for you, but he could barely wait to propose

i don’t think he’d propose on a dating anniversary, because that day is supposed to be special on its own, and he doesn’t want to take away from that

i think he’d take you out to dinner, and have the ring in his pocket, but wait until you got home to propose so that everyone in the restaurant wouldn’t make a scene about it 

you’re confused when he holds two items behind his back and asks you to choose which one you wanted first

he’s not usually playful like this, but you play along

you pick the ring first, and he suggests that you pick the other one

it’s three roses (that means “i love you”)

shameless self promo... i talked about that in another one where tensei says that iida should get you that for valentine’s day, finally tenya listened

and then when you ask “what’s in the other hand?” 

he gets down on one knee

congrats, honey <3

Q - Quiet (What are quiet moments like with them?)

i have a draft on this waiting for me to work on it, but sure i’ll give you something

quiet moments with tenya are comfortable. 

sitting under a blanket together on the couch while he types away at his laptop

the look on his face when you take the first bite of dinner together, and he was nervous to try the new recipe, but you were sure it’d be okay

how he always, always, waits for you to finish eating before he gets up to start cleaning up dinner

(he’ll compliment your cooking even if you think it turned out awful)

(even if it did, he doesn’t know how to use a potato peeler, so he can’t really say much in that department)

the quiet moments of intimacy where he hands you a jar of spices that comes next on the recipe

or where he tucks your hair behind your ear

or bends down to tire your shoe for you

R - Rainy Day (What are they like in the rain?)

he holds the umbrella with his left hand and your hand in his right

makes sure you don’t get wet, and tries not to let his glasses get wet

tenya would kiss you in the rain, but under the eave of a building or an overhang where he can do it the right way.

S - Sad (How do they handle their sadness? How do they react to yours?)

he handles his sadness by writing in a journal or he likes reading books from his younger days to make him feel better

he bottles his emotions, but not because he wants to, he just accidentally neglects his emotions because he’s too busy with other things

i think he would talk to you about it if you asked, but he wouldn’t bring up his emotions 

if it was you?

he would react very kindly to your sadness, and he would try to be as comforting as possible without forcing you to talk about it

but of course he’d listen if you wanted to, and offer his support and advice if you wanted it

he would drop everything for you, putting his pen down the moment he sees your eyes brimming with tears

and he’d pull you to his chest and whisper words of adoration and hold you until you feel better <3

T - Time (How long did it take for you to get together?)

maybe like three months to start dating while the two of you were at UA, just because he wanted to make sure you were interested in him before he came on too strong 

he would ask you to be his sparring partner just so that he could compliment you <3 

he’d let you win that day, but would NEVER admit that regardless of how long you’ve been together/married

he just says that you bested him that day, so he’s been the best for you ever since

damn, that was cheesy, tenya. 

love is super gross 

moving on

U - Unique (What’s an interesting thing about them that not a lot of people know about?)

i can either go super angsty with this one or just go normal

hm. i’ll spare you.

not a lot of people know that tenya plays the piano!

he learned when he was young because his parents insisted it would make him more well-rounded, but he quit taking lessons early on and just taught himself from then on

he likes the predictability of music, and how really it’s just a pattern if you think about it, it’s just where to and where not to play

someone requested that i write the angst version, and you can find it here !

V - Value (What are some of the things they value most in life? value most about you?)

he values respect, integrity, and dedication. 

he cares that you respect him and everything he works for, but encourages you to let him know if you ever notice a hint of self-interest in his hero work

he doesn’t want to ever become a corrupt hero and lost his integrity

he values your honesty and your ability to make everything more fun

he finds fun in quiet, intimate moments, but he loves how you still find him in the loud, chaotic moments, and make sure he’s okay.

he also values the fact that you’re so understanding of how important hero work is to him, and how he has to put his life on the line.

you know that he has to stay at the agency or on patrol late sometimes, but you’d never ask him to stop, because you know he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if someone was left unprotected because he was home

W - Wildcard (random fluff headcanon)

i don’t know i saved this one for last

i just wrote 25 others though, why don’t you read those?

kidding...

tenya loves dad jokes because they’re meant to be taken literally and he loves seeing the disappointed look on your face 

“honey, do you want to help me with dinner? i’m hungry.”

“hi, hungry, i’m tenya iida, also known as in-”

“STOP”

“it’s always lovely to meet my admirers! i hope to inspire many great heroes!”

but he hates puns and will sigh deeply without laughing at all 

“that was awful, y/n.”

“HAHAHA”

X - XO (Are they affectionate with hugs and kisses? If not, are they in other ways?)

at ua, he’s not really affectionate with hugs and kisses yet

he’ll show affection by patiently going over that stubborn math problem again and not getting upset when you ask him to repeat the formula again

or he’ll remember to ask you about the plotline in the book you’re reading or how your favorite show is going

and he’ll offer to buy your lunch or bring you a special snack from his secret supply in his room :)

as your relationship progresses, he’s more physically affectionate behind closed doors, but it’s not a common thing and he isn’t clingy about it 

when you’re married, he’s also affectionate in other ways, like he’ll do meal prep for you to make dinner easier for you to make, because he knows it’s hard to wait for him to get home and eat so late

or he’ll do that laundry you’ve been too busy to get to

he’ll go all out every once in a while, but he knows making life a little easier and a little sweeter sometimes sticks with you 

Y - Yearn (How do they deal with yearning?)

he didn’t yearn for you for long at UA, because he just... realized he had a crush and then decided to pursue you, but i’m sure it was hard to get over the initial “oh, shoot” of realizing he has a crush when he’s at UA to become the best hero he can be

he feels his love for you more intensely than he’s ever felt love before, and he’s not exactly sure what to do with your name constantly plaguing his mind. 

i think he’d work a little harder in school and in training because he wants so badly to have a good, long life with you, and for everything to be perfect

he’ll get what he wants, because he works hard for it, and you’re willing to support his dreams

Z - Zen (What makes them calm?)

quiet evenings, quilts, candles, cooking together, soft music playing in the backgroud, looking at photos from your wedding, daydreaming about your future together, reading, and coming home to you after a long day.

✧ hope you liked this! it was super fun to write and it was cool to think about tenya in all of these different ways.

love, tj 🦢

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[americasass91]

Healing Ransom

Hello beautiful people!! This will be my first (I’m sure of many) submissions for @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ amazing Autumn Challenge! Fall is my favorite time of the year! It’s got beautiful colors! Pumpkin everything! And Halloween? You just can’t beat it! I hope you enjoy this little story. It stars our one and only Mean Sweater Murder Daddy, Ransom!

Verbal Prompts:

“Please don’t be sad for me.”

“Shove it, satan.”

Location/activity prompts:

Walking through a park with leaves

Jumping in/raking leaves

Words: 3.8k

Rating: Explicit(of course it is😋)

Warnings: smut, Ransom being his usual dickish self, slight angst, death of minor character, funerals, sadness, language

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You had only been asleep for about an hour and a half when you were abruptly woken up by a cell phone vibrating loudly.

You open one eye and look towards the nightstand your phone is on. It’s silent. That means it’s his phone.

You smack your fuck buddy on the back of the head. “Ow, Y/N what the actual fuck?”

You turn over and pull the covers higher up on your naked body. “Your phone’s ringing asshole.”

He mumbles something under his breath you don’t quite catch as he reaches for his phone. “It’s Linda. Ugh she’s probably drunk again and calling to tell me how worthless I am. Fuck her.”

He throws the phone down on the bed and gets comfortable. “And why are you still here? You know how I feel about you spending the night.”

You raise your hand and flip him off. “You’re the one that fucked me into submission. I can’t help it that I fell asleep right after. Don’t worry, your highness, I’ll be out of your hair first thing in the morning.”

He’s about to reply when his phone starts vibrating right against your ass. You shriek and sit up and grab the phone.

Before Ransom even comprehends that you have it, you answer.

“Hello, Linda. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Y/N. Can I talk to Ransom please.” She sounds like she’s on the verge of tears.

You hand the phone to Ransom who looks at you incredulously. “Just take it. She sounds upset.”

He just rolls his eyes and snatches the phone from you. “Mother, why in the fuck are you calling me at 3 in the morning?”

You’re not entirely sure what she’s saying but Ransom went from being annoyed to showing no emotion on his face.

“When?...Who found him?...Okay..well, thanks for letting me know.” He hangs up and throws the phone back onto the nightstand.

He’s silent for a few minutes. He looks over at your questioning stare.

“My father died. Heart attack. His maid found him. Guess he’d been there for awhile.”

You immediately go to pull him into a hug. “Oh, Ransom. I’m so sorry.”

He pushes you away. “Please don’t be sad for me. He was a piece of shit who smoked like a chimney and never took care of himself. It was just a matter of time before something liked this happened.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “But he was your dad, Ransom. It’s okay to be sad about it.” You reach out and place a hand on his shoulder.

He grabs your hand and yanks you onto his lap. “I’m not sad. I don’t actually feel anything. It’s not like we had any kind of a relationship. Now how about since we’re both awake we go for round 5?”

You just roll your eyes and let him take your body to euphoria once more.

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That following Saturday you wake up to the sight of beautiful changing leaves. God you love Fall. It was the best time of the year in your opinion. Pumpkin everything? Yes please! Halloween? Oh, fuck yeah! Your favorite holiday.

You decide you can’t let this beauty go to waste. You throw back the covers and quickly dress in some leggings and a burgundy sweater you’re pretty sure belongs to Ransom.

You can’t help but admire all the beautiful Fall colors as you begin your walk. You don’t even need music right now. You feel so at peace during this particular morning. All the beautiful colors. The slight chill in the air. The smell of cider someone is selling from a cart up the way. You’re definitely going to have to get some of that.

You spot a pile of leaves on your way to the cart and you have the strongest urge to run and jump in them. You stop walking and look around. You’re alone. Fuck it.

You take off and giggle like a little girl again as you launch yourself at the pile of leaves. You lose yourself in them. Forgetting everything for a moment and just enjoying the freeing feeling. You’re enjoying it so much you almost miss your phone vibrating in your pocket.

You sit up and fish it out to see who’s interrupting your childlike moment. Ransom. You roll your eyes. The only time he calls you is when he wants sex. You’re just going to have to tell him you’re too busy at the moment.

You answer and put the phone to your ear as you lay back amongst the leaves. “Ransom, I cannot come over for some fuckery right now. I’m in my happy place.”

“Y/N. Hey. That’s not why I’m calling. Linda just called to let me know the funeral is tomorrow. I was wondering if you’d go with me?”

He doesn’t sound like himself. Sad almost. “Sure, Ran. Of course I’ll be there. Just let me know what time.”

“Visitation is from 2-4. The funeral starts right after. Then of course we’ll go bury him. Sorry your whole day will be full. I know how much you love your weekends.”

You shake your head and wave your hand in the air as if he can see it. “Ransom, don’t worry about that. This is more important. And besides, Monday is Columbus Day so I have an extra day off.”

“So that means you’ll be able to spend the night with me tomorrow night?”

You feel butterflies in your stomach. He’s never asked you to spend the night.

“Well, sure if that’s what you want.”

“Thanks, I’ll need to fuck all of my frustrations out from being around my family all day.”

Ah, there’s the ulterior motive. You feel your heart sink a little. “Yeah, sure. How about I’ll just come to your place tomorrow around 1 and we can head over to the funeral together?”

“Sure, sure. Look I have to go. I have to try to get this chapter written today. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course. Good luck with the chapter.”

“Oh and Y/N? Have fun playing in the leaves.”

With that he hangs up. You look around to make sure he’s nowhere around. How did he know you were in a pile of leaves?

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You head into the funeral with Ransom at around 1:45. Despite everything you can’t help but notice he looks handsome in his dark blue suit.

“God I hate funerals.” He says as he gazes around the room. He spots Linda.

“Well, who likes them?” You ask him as she approaches.

She throws her arms around Ransom’s neck. He reluctantly returns the hug.

“Oh, Ransom! I just can’t believe he’s gone.”

Ransom just rolls his eyes as he looks at you. He mouths ‘Help me’

You put your hand on Linda’s back. “Oh, Linda. I’m so sorry he’s gone.”

She lets go of Ransom and turns towards you. “Thank you dear. Even though he wasn’t my husband anymore I still loved him. A part of me always will.”

You glance over at Ransom who’s trying to avoid Walt that just walked in. You can’t help but know how she feels about loving someone like that. You love Ransom no matter what the 2 of you are. You think you always will.

You nod your head. “Of course you will. He was a big part of your life. And he’s Ransom's dad. He’ll always have a special place in your heart.”

She pulls you in for a hug. When she pulls back she cups your cheek. “I’m well aware that you’re too good for my son. But please don’t leave him. He can’t do any better than you.”

With that she heads over to greet more people filing in. You stand there shocked at her words. Linda has never been unpleasant towards you but that was the nicest damn thing she’s ever said to you.

You spot Ransom leaning against the opposite wall as far away from the other people as he can get.

You head over and stop in front of him with your arms crossed. “Ransom, aren’t you supposed to be talking to your family? Letting people give their condolences.”

“Fuck these people, Y/N. None of them gave a shit about Richard. I bet half of the women in this room fucked him at one point.”

You look around wide eyed to see if anyone was paying attention to you. Luckily they weren’t. “Jesus, Ransom be quiet! This is a funeral. And unlike you, some people are here to grieve!”

“Whatever, Y/N! You’re such a bitch. You didn’t like him either! You always called him a creep! So don’t stand there and act live you give a shit that he’s dead!”

Your mouth drops open. God he’s such an asshole! “You know what, fuck you Ransom! I do give a shit! Just because I thought he was a creep doesn’t mean I wanted him to die! I understand you’re grieving right now but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me like shit. Maybe you should find somebody else to fuck out your frustrations on!”

By now the whole room is looking at you 2. You didn’t mean to be so loud but god dammit did he piss you off.

“You know what, Y/N? Maybe I will! Fuck off!”

He pushes away from the wall and stomps towards the door. “SHOVE IT, SATAN!” You can’t help but yell after him. You then take a look around the room and see everyone staring at you. “Sorry about that.” You quickly leave the room and head towards the kitchen area. You hear footsteps behind you. You turn around and see Meg following you.

“Y/N? Are you okay? God he is such a piece of shit.” She pulls you in for a hug,

You return it gratefully. “Thanks but I’m just worried about Linda. She’s already upset and I am certainly not making things any easier.”

She scoffs as she pulls away from you. “Oh, please! She was chuckling when you called him satan. Said it was an accurate name for him.”

You smile at her feeling relieved. “That’s good then. How are you holding up?”

She returns your smile. “I’m okay. Uncle Richard and I didn’t have a close relationship but I’ll still miss our debates we had.”

You nod in understanding. “I guess I should go find satan.”

Before you have a chance to leave the kitchen, Ransom comes in. He comes over and pulls you in for a hug. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just don’t want to be here and I’m sick of these people pretending to grieve when I know they don’t care and I took my anger out on you. You were nice enough to be here with me today, you don’t deserve how I treated you.”

Your heart skips a beat. He never apologizes for anything. You pull away from the hug and cup his cheek. “It’s okay. Apology accepted. You get a free pass today. Now how about we head back in?”

He grabs your wrist and places a kiss on your palm. “Okay, will you stay by me?”

You pull him in for a quick peck. “Of course, I’m not going anywhere.”

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The funeral was tastefully done. Ransom refused to ride over in the limo with the rest of the family. He said he wanted to drive over with you.

You pull into the cemetery and get out of the car. You look around for the gravesite. You don’t see one. “Ran, where’s the gravesite?”

Ransom just chuckles and points at the hill. “On the top of the hill. He wanted to be buried in the most expensive spot.”

You look down at your black pumps and then over at the slightly muddy hill. Well this should be fun.

Ransom sees your hesitation. “There’s a brick pathway. Your shoes are safe.”

You sigh in relief. Thank god. You follow the crowd that has now gathered toward the path. Ransom follows in step beside you. He grabs your hand and laces your fingers together. You feel those stupid butterflies in your stomach again.

You can’t help but admire the beautiful fall foliage. It puts a smile on your face despite the sad day.

Ransom rolls his eyes playfully at you. “You and your Fall.”

“It’s beautiful, Ransom! How can you not love it?”

You’re too busy looking at all the leaves to notice him staring at you. “Yeah, it is beautiful.”

You reach the gravesite and stand with Ransom near the front. He still hasn’t let go of your hand. If anything he’s holding onto it tighter.

You can’t help but let some tears fall as the minister says some more beautiful words. You chance a glance at Ransom and you see him wipe a single tear from his face. That makes you give his hand a reaffirming squeeze.

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Ransom wasn’t lying when he said he was going to fuck out his frustrations on you. He took you right against the wall as soon as you walked into his house. Then again on the island in the kitchen. And again on the stairs. (You’re sure to have bruises from that escapade). Finally finishing in his bed. You passed out almost right after the last one.

You woke up around 2 am with the urge to pee. You look over and see Ransom’s side of the bed empty. He must be downstairs rehydrating after all that fucking. You decide to quickly pee and then head down to find him.

He’s not in the kitchen like you thought. You’re about to go check his study to see if he’s up writing when you see a light on in the living room. You head in and see him sitting on the couch. His back is to you so he hasn’t realized you’re in the room yet. There’s something sitting on his coffee table. You move forward quietly trying not to disturb him in case he wants to be alone.

When you get close enough you see that it’s a framed picture of him and his dad. Ransom can’t be older than 16. They have their arms around each other’s shoulders. His prized Beemer is in the background with a big red bow on top.

That’s when you hear the sniffling. You quickly round the couch and see that Ransom is clutching a pillow and sobbing into it. You take a seat next to him. You put a comforting hand on his back and rub it up and down in a soothing manner.

He looks up at you, tears covering his cheeks. “You know I think this is the only picture I have of me and my dad. I think he was happier than me that day. He was so proud to pass his car down to me.”

You just smile sadly and pull him in for a hug. He throws the pillow away and pulls you into his lap so that you’re straddling him. You gently wipe away his tears with your thumbs. “I can’t believe he’s gone. I never even knew him, Y/N. And now I’m never gonna get the chance to.” He buries his face into the crook of your neck and tightens his arms around your waist. He starts sobbing again.

You rub one hand up and down his back and run your other through his hair. “Shhh, Ransom. I know you’re hurting. I’m so sorry you lost him.”

“I fucking hate this, Y/N! I hate feeling like this. So helpless. And he fucking died alone. That’s gonna be me. I don’t want to die alone.” He looks up at you so innocently. So heartbroken.

You grab his face with both hands. “Hugh Ransom Drysdale, you’re not going to die alone. If you’re that afraid of it then change your ways.”

He lowers his eyes towards his hands that are resting on your hips. “I just hate feeling this way. I didn’t even know him. Why am I so fucking sad?” He looks back up at you.

“Because you didn’t know him and you’re regretting that. It’s too late to do anything about it now. Unfortunately you’re just going to have to deal with it and grieve. Doesn’t mean you can’t change your other relationships though. So you don’t feel like this ever again.”

He grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in just enough until your lips are touching. “It hurts so much, Y/N. Please help me forget. Even for just a little bit. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” He pulls you in for a fierce kiss, enough to take your breath away.

After you gain back some control you push against his chest. “Ransom, I don’t think this is the best way-”

“Please,Y/N? Please take the pain away.”

Your heart breaks. You look him in the eye and nod your head. He pulls you back in for another heated kiss. If this was the only way you could take away his pain, even if temporary, you’ll give it to him.

You put your hands in his hair and give it a tug making him groan. One of his hands moves to your ass, making you grind against his growing erection. The other remains on the back of your neck, not letting you break the kiss. He needs you close right now.

He pulls back from the kiss. “Need you, baby. Please.”

You quickly stand up to remove your pajama shorts and panties while he lowers his sweats just enough to free himself. You straddle him again and stroke his length up and down a few times, smearing his pre-cum all over. You guide him to your entrance and sink down on him. “Fuck, Ransom. Always feels so good.”

You give yourself a few minutes to adjust once your hips are flush against his. He settles his hands on your waist while yours rest on his shoulders. You lean in for a kiss before you start moving up and down on him. Moving at the hard and fast pace you know he always prefers.

“Wait, baby, slow down.” He grips your hips to stop your movements. You look at him confused. He always likes it hard and fast. He tightens his hold on your hips and starts grinding you on him. “Just need to feel you, Y/N. Can we slow down?”

Your heart flutters. “Of course.” You take over and start grinding against him. Keeping a slow rhythm. You throw your head back and moan. God he feels amazing. You can feel every part of him like this. Usually he’s going so fast you don’t get to appreciate the feeling of him dragging along your walls like this. This isn’t about reaching orgasm. This is intimacy. This is about feelings.

He buries his face into the crook of your neck. “You feel so good, baby. You take me so well. Like you were made for me. Made to fit me. My beautiful Y/N.”

You can feel tears well up in your eyes. You know this might not feel the same for him but it’s making you fall even more in love with him than what you already were.

You're not going to last long. Not only are your emotions getting the best of you but your clit is rubbing deliciously against his pelvis. He can feel you fluttering on his cock.

He pulls back and looks at you. “Gonna come for me pretty girl? I can feel you. You’re squeezing me so good. Let go, Y/N. I’m right behind you.”

You fall apart at his words. His name is a whisper on your lips. He buries his face back into the crook of your neck as he meets his end with a groan. Filling you up with everything he has.

You both stay like that for a minute. Just holding each other like you were afraid the other would disappear. He pulls back and looks at you again. He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and smiles softly at you. “I love you, Y/N. God I love you so fucking much.”

You feel tears fall down your face. “I love you too, Ransom. Always have and always will. I won’t let you die alone.”

He pulls you in for another kiss. “No more of this fuck buddy stuff. I’m in this for real. For the long haul. I can’t feel like this ever again. I can live with how I feel about my dad. But you? I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try.”

“We’re talking about a relationship here Ransom. The exact thing you always said you didn’t want. What if it doesn’t work out? What if you change your mind?”

“It will work out, I’ll make sure it does. I won’t be changing my mind. You’re it for me.  But if for some reason you decide I’m not what you want, then at least I can say I tried. I’m willing to regret you for the rest of my life.”

You melt at his words. This is all you’ve ever wanted. For him to love you. Why the fuck were you questioning it?

You lean back in for another kiss. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

You lean in for another kiss. “Okay. But I’m exhausted. Can you take me to bed now?”

He chuckles and stands you both up. “Come on, pretty girl. Let’s get you to bed.”

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You wake up the next morning with the biggest smile on your face. Not only did Ransom confess his love for you last night but it was the most beautiful Fall day outside. You wondered if you could convince him to go for a walk with you.

The smell of coffee hits your nose and you quickly throw back the covers to head downstairs. As you turn to head into the kitchen you find Ransom. He’s dialing a number on his phone. His back is to you.

Curious, you stay behind for a minute to see who he’s calling.

“Hello, Mom? Hi. How are you?...Good….Yeah she’s here, she’s upstairs sleeping. I know, I’m not gonna let her go. Hey listen I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch with me today, just us?”

You can’t help the big smile that spreads across your face. Maybe Ransom was changing after all.

All Cevans characters taglist: @stargazingfangirl18​

[kattwritesuwu]

Can I request a Clingy!monsterTom x Depressed!Reader? Maybe with cutting and suicidal thoughts?

I sure can!!! I LOVE angst!!!!!

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Fandom: Eddsworld

Character: Tom

Reader: Depressed

Fic type: Comfort/angst

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: This WILL heavily mention suic/de, blood, and perhaps other triggering topics, read at your own risk!!

Notes: People, I'm not trying to make depression and similar illness romantic, this is simply for comfort.

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I hate everything.

Well, not everything, but the majority, y'know? Everything just...sucks. Life in general, it's all terrible.

People are terrible. Sure, I've found a few choice people that aren't the bane of my existence, but even they have their flaws.

Am I saying that I'm some heaven sent angel? Hell no I'm not. I'm just as terrible if not more! I hate everyone, including myself.

Am I lying? Yeah. Do I have a crush on someone? Yeah. Am I gonna do something about it? Nope.

Why should I? It's not like I'll be here longer anyways...

I'm planning to kill myself.

Am I scared? Kind of. But at this point I don't care. I'm always scared anyways. Always on my guard around people.

Most people don't know the fear and pain of constantly feeling...numb.

It's not like I never feel anything, it's just so rare. My most common emotion is pain. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. But all I can ever being myself to do is cry, and even that's a rare occurrence at this point.

I feel so alone.

Friends? Yeah I have a few.... they're all a bit odd in their own way. Can't complain though, they're like family to me.

My real family? Not many immediate ones, plus, I moved to England five years ago. They called me everyday for the first couple of months. Nowadays, I can barely get a text back... I get that they have their own lives in their respective country, but man, it just makes me so cold-feeling...

I guess where I was going with this, is that I'm scared. Not of my inevitable death, but everything else.

I'm scared of anything and everything now that I think about it. I don't exactly mean common fears they talk about in elementary school, I'm talking real world problems.

I'm scared of failure, not sure why. I've failed enough in my life....it shouldn't even faze me at this point.

Im especially scared of people.

My friends? Yeah them too. What if I make a fool of myself and they think I'm an idiot? What if I make the wrong move, and they hate me? They probably hate me enough as it is...

That why I won't confess to Tom. He'll hate me afterwards. There's just no point in ruining something for nothing in return.

These were the thoughts that ran through my head as my arms and legs were sliced up by a blade driven by my own hands. It's wasn't like it hurt. All it really did was sting, I'm just that used to being hurt, I suppose.

As I was wrapping up my little 'session' I heard a knock on my door,

"(Y/N)! You in there? It's dinner time! I made breakfast for dinner!" A British accent leaked through my door.

I didn't scramble around at the thought of him walking in, my door was locked after all. It's not like I'm that stupid.

" I'll be there in a few minutes, Edd." I spoke back in a raspy voice, not bothering to yell. Edd has good ears, he can somehow hear a whisper from across the house.

It takes me a minute or two to get up and walk into the bathroom that connects to my room. I stumble a bit with the loss of blood.

Once I get in there I take a quick shower, just barely long enough to stop the bleeding and make it appear as if you just took an actual shower.

Once I get out of the shower, I slip on my (favorite color) hoodie.

That was an easy part of hiding my self abuse. Everyone in the house wore a hoodie of their own designated color.

I also slipped on a longer article of clothing to go onto my legs. Couldn't let them see my thighs either.

Once I finished the rest of my cleaning up, I headed out of my little bathroom, and in front of my door. I took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked out.

I got about halfway down the stairs before a screech startled me, causing me to trip a bit,

" (Y/N) IS HERE! YAY!" The high pitch British scream could only belong to the narcissistic ginger known as Matt.

Once I got my balance back into my feet, I continued down the stairs and greeted Matt with a wave.

" Yeah she lives here, idiot. She's not going anywhere." A deeper voice had spoken, I turned around and Tom was there as expected. I smile shrunk a bit at his last comment.

" Sup (y/n)." You snapped out of your thoughts and responded with a casual 'yo.'

The three of us then heard a thick accent cursing in the kitchen, no doubt it was Tord,

" For jævla skyld! Just let me have the last piece!!"

Sure enough, when we walked into the kitchen, Edd and Tord were fighting over the last piece of bacon. I let out a sigh, and the two boys finally acknowledged our existence. That alone didn't stop their argument though.

I didn't even bother attempting to break up the fight, I never could anyways. Their little fuss always ends one of two ways. Edd steals the bacon from under Tord's nose, or vise versa.

I just grabbed a small portion of food, and sat down.

I knew I would be gone by the end of tonight...but I wanted to taste Edd's cooking one last time.

Something interesting happened, instead of one of the two boys getting the bacon, they halved it and sat down. Of all my four years living in this house with these people, they've never shared their bacon.

Strange.

Dinner wasn't as talkative as it usually was when we all ate at the table. Usually we'd all have a big group discussion about our day, or week. Tonight was quiet, giving me an opportunity,

" Hey, guys?" Each one of their heads turned to me, and Edd signalled me to continue,

" I just wanted to say, thank you." Their brows furrowed but I held out a hand to tell them to let me finish,

" You four have helped me with so much over the past few years. From when you let me live here when I couldn't find proper housing situations, to letting me borrow the car. I just wanted to formally tell you all how grateful I really am. You are truly the kindest people I've ever met." As I went on talking, I realized how bad of an idea this actually was.

I mean, will they get suspicious? I'm just showing gratitude right? It shouldn't sound like a cry for help or anything...

As I snapped out of thought for the fiftieth time today, I notice that all of the boys have some type of smile on their face, even Tom!

Edd was smiling like a proud mother,

Matt was smiling giddily,

Tord had a smug, 'cool guy' smile,

And Tom had the smallest smile that made my heart melt.

I awkwardly continued my fake smile, and sat down.

Conversation continued on as would on a normal night, with the topic being past pleasant memories.

I volunteered to wash the dishes, it was the least I could do. There was only one problem. For some ungodly reason, Tom had insisted on helping me.

I couldn't figure out why at first, untill it dawned on me that he probably needed something from me.

So as I scrubbed the forgetten food off of the ceramic plate, he rinsed and dried them. We did this in silence, aside from the running water. Tom's the first one to break the tension filled silence,

" So, how have you been?" It was such a simple question, I could have simply faked a toothy grin, and said that I was great. I could have thanked him for asking. I could have asked him back.

But I only did one of those things.

" I've been doing just as good as I always do." I reply with a small sad smile. I tear my eyes away from the dish water," How about you? You've been awfully quiet tonight."

He chuckles lowly," Just had a lot on my mind, trying to face some of my problems, that's all." I stop what I'm doing and look over at him,

" Do you want to talk about it? I think the others are asleep already."

Normally when Tom is having any type of problem, he comes to me for advice, or even just for someone to listen to him rant when he's drunk. I even gave him a spare key to my room if he ever needs me while I'm asleep. He's offered the same for me, but I told him that I have a counselor. I try not to lie to my housemates all the time, only when necessary.

He simply shakes his head in response," Nah, this is one I have to deal with on my own," I sigh,

" Alright then, but keep my offer in mind. Just try to remember to see me before I go to bed, I'm...going to bed early tonight. I have something to do tommorow." He nods in understanding.

After we finish the dishes, we say our goodnights,

" I'll see you in the morning, (y/n)." I give one last fake smile,

" Same to you, Tom. Sleep well." I see him nod and walk down the hall as I close my door and lock it for the final time.

I walk into my bathroom and look into the mirror. All I see is a monstrosity of a person glaring back at me.

The bags under my eyes had only gotten worse after the sleepless nights I spent writing my suicide note.

I decided to skip reading over it one last time, I want nothing that could alter my decision at hand here. If I read my dying love letter that's written to Tom, I might stop myself in some kind of silly hope that everything could be okay again. It was too late for all that now.

So, I grabbed my blade that had served me well over the years, and stepped into the bathtub. I didn't cry, I didn't shake in fear of what I was about to do. I sadly smiled instead. As I took my hoodie off, revealing a tank top that no one knew I owned. I set my hoodie softly onto the floor, and turned on the hot water.

I took a deep breath in, and sigh, grabbing my blade and getting to work on my first artery. It took me a couple tries to find it.

But once I did, it started the red tint in the once clear bath water. I took in a shaky breath, adjusting to the dizziness of loosing so much blood so quickly.

At this point I couldn't even hear the bathwater running, everything was muffled.

I reached to turn it off, and a hand was placed onto mine. It takes me a good second to register that there was someone next to the tub, yelling my name right next to my face.

I try my best to focus on who could have caught me. Yet it's so difficult to take in my surroundings at this point.

So as I stare at the person beside my bathtub with fading eyes. I feel pressure on my wound, and see something being wrapped around it.

I start panicking, trying to say no, to let me die.

But I just can't. I just watch as my life is saved against my will.

Suddenly I can see that I'm moving, I can't figure out how until I notice the arms carrying me bridal style to a soft surface. That's when I lost consciousness for the next hour.

I didn't exactly 'wake up' more like fazed into existence. It's like I just gradually became aware of what was around me.

I became aware of the sobs coming from my bedside, and of the pressure squeezing my hand.

I forced my eyes open and tried to sit up. Yet I instantly regretted my decision, pain shot throughout my body. I glance over to my hand and up the....purple arm....

Who is this? Or perhaps I should say, what is this?

It's some kind of...monster? Hybrid? It looked kind of human... I could only see the torso and up. Even then, the arms grew bigger the farther down the arms stretched, and turned a deeper and deeper shade of purple. Horns poked out of the head laying slightly onto my shin, poking me a bit.

" Am-" I hold my throat. That hurt. I clear my throat of the mucus and start again as the unknown monster wakes up,

" Am I dead?"

The monsters head shoots up, and I can't help but recognize the 'eyes' that I've grown to love.

" T-Tom..."

He tries to smile for me, but it twists into a sad frown as his black orbs start to water,

" (Y/n)....(y/n) you're...y-you're okay! You're okay..." He said this over and over again as he cupped my cheeks with his transformed hands.

I grab onto his forearm to steady his shaking. This was starting to scare me.

I had never seen this man shed a tear in front of me, yet alone bawl into my shoulder like he was doing now,

" Tom, it's okay, I'm right here." I whispered this, and many other reassurances into his ear. Confirming to him that it was going to be okay and that, to my displeasure, I wasn't going anywhere.

He seemed to get angry after a few minutes, he ripped himself away from me and took hold of my shoulders,

" WHAT IF YOU WEREN'T RIGHT HERE? WHAT IF I HADN'T OF WALKED IN!! WHAT THEN HUH? YOU WOULDN'T BE RIGHT HERE!!! YOU'D BE GONE!! I would have...lost you..." He slid down the side of my bed as he finished his outburst. He sat crying into his knees.

I didn't know what to do. Is he mad at me? But despite the questions, I acted without thinking.

I began to run my fingers through his hair, almost brushing it. He seemed surprised at first, before he leaned into my touch.

" I'm sorry Tom. I didn't think it would effect you like this..." All was silent for a few moments. Until,

" Why..?" He sniffled a few times before I could respond.

" Why? Why what?" He looked up to me,

" Why would you try to leave me?" I couldn't even bring myself to say anything after that. Tom seemed to sense the frog in my throat, and continued,

" You don't realize, (y/n). You don't realize how special you are. To your family, your friends. I mean bloody hell (y/n)! What about us?! Edd would be heartbroken! And how are we supposed to explain something like that to Matt?" I avoided the possible eye contact and twidled my thumbs in my lap,

" What about me (y/n)? How am I supposed to go on living with myself if you, the love of my life, killed herself?" My mind went blank. He took my hand in between both of his,

" I know this isn't the greatest time for this, but if it'll boost your self esteem even a little bit, I don't care about embarrassing myself. (Y/n) (L/n), I am deeply in love with you, and have been since you moved in. I've loved you since you helped me to bed when I came in drunk all those years ago. I've loved you since you beat my Pac-Man score at the arcade, I acted so mad, but you were just so cute so excited like that... (Y/n)... Please let me help you love yourself by loving you..."

By the time he was done with his speech, I was in tears, a small frown on my face. He seemed to get the wrong idea as he instantly dropped my hand and got up,

" I got the message, I'll just uhm... I'll just g-" I grabbed his hoodie strings and pulled him in for a kiss.

We could both tell that there would be many more to come.

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I'm sorry if it's extremely long, I just love to write angst haha...