#i guess i just. have little to no interest or maybe even discomfort about exploring that outside of family ties.

[moe-broey]

Although I guess I always am exploring incompatibility and love/learning how to love in the most supportive/accommodating way despite that, but kind of exclusively w family dynamics.

[misscammiedawn]

50 Days of HypnoKink - Day 29: Safe Spaces

Alignment: 105% Bottom Only --- I'm not comfortable doing this one for others

By now we're kinda out of "this is hot" and I'm just writing about things I think are cool. This one may be one to skip if you're following this for scene ideas and stories of things I've done with trance.

A lot of inductions, especially with older files, have you imagine a safe space. A relaxing and gentle calming place.

Therapists also do this for EMDR work which-- is uncomfortably close to hypnosis in my experience--

The idea is to turn a piece of your soul into a location of softness and tranquility and I've always found a lot of interest in that. Like a lot of folx who I get close to in the hypnosis community that I feel safe asking, I ask them to describe their place.

That is a super private thing and I will not even elude to what people have told me.

But it makes me smile. Like I get to see a piece of them.

It lets me know what they find enchanting and soothing. How they visualize safety and comfort.

Then you can ask little questions.

What do you do there?

Are there any smells to this place?

What time of day do you picture it as?

Are you alone?

Are there ambient sounds?

Though maybe phrase a little less leading? I dunno. I'm not good at guided hypnosis. I just know if you say "is there music in the air?" people will hear music because you put the idea in and if you ask "Focus on your sense of hearing, really take notice of the space. Is there anything you can notice?" then at least you're asking input.

Huh? I guess I do know my stuff. Just not performative.

Anyway!

I'll talk about my place in a bit but I wanted to say it has always smelled of coffee. Goddess and my former partner used to guide me through "refreshing the grounds" when I needed a boost.

The reason it's not a Miss Dawn special or anything is that when you're in someone's most precious imaginings it's difficult to tread lightly.

If you raise attention to how someone internally perceives themselves in that space, it could lead to dysphoric feelings. You could introduce new elements.

Like I don't mean to be all Inception or anything. But my space has been a consistent location for over 2 decades at this point. More than half my life the same space has existed in my mind. That kinda means any changes made in that area are important and stick.

Which is a lot of responsibility.

Fuck... I could only dream of having a place I call home for a single decade. Let alone 2. This space has been more a constant than my literal homes. Though I carry them with me.

I am so so off topic right now x.x

Maybe I should just talk about my experiences outright, then--

My Safe Space is... private and I have complicated feelings about it.

To date only 3 people other than therapists have been allowed to explore it or make changes and only one - my Goddess - has been allowed to be visualized within that space.

Until Goddess made that request, understanding the importance of this next sentence, I had never visualized anyone else in that space.

Sometimes animals from memories or imagination but even then with great discomfort.

99% of the time nothing that exists outside of my head is allowed in that space. It is hallowed ground in my mind.

The person who helped me build it abused me and hurt me. I don't want to talk about that. But I think it's important that I note it. A part of him is in the walls. There's an area that is sealed off with yellow security tape and I haven't been in that area since I was a teenager. Like a scar on my soul that I cannot escape. Goddess once asked to remove it. I like the reminder. I like the feeling of power I have over knowing it. Knowing I sealed it and him out of my life.

So... edited within the realm of privacy--- I just wanna describe some things:

It's built from memories and emotional connections to those memories. It's always night there and the sky is the sky I saw at a precious friend's home in North Wales back in 2005.

There's a camp fire that has taken on attributes from a certain backyard fire pit in recent years.

My safe space itself is a log cabin. I call it The Lodge. The person who knows why isn't with me anymore.

There's a hidden room behind a bookcase that leads to the "Room of Doors" which is a staple from Goddess' hypnotic files.

A recliner I picture myself trancing in when I am asked to imagine myself in trance.

A little kitchenette with a coffee nook that fills the place with the scent of coffee.

There are two doors and--- the blocked off area---

One leads to the bedroom and one leads to the basement.

The basement is full of bedrooms.

The bedroom will select one of those bedrooms and it will be a place of comfort. Every one of these is a place I've called home.

I have never worked out why that is there. But it is.

Minds are weird.

Sometimes cats from my married life are there. Most of the time they're not.

I don't want to describe the main floor, the colors, the way it feels, how I feel there. That's more than I feel comfortable being open about. But I really love how firm and stable it has become. How even after all these years it's still the same room.

Sometimes it's nice to have consistency. I don't have a lot of that.

Anyway...

If you've never done it. Really take a minute to think about yours. Really build a place you can feel is a part of your soul to rest in.

Not gonna lie? It's pretty great!

---

Day 28: Adoration

FULL SCHEDULE MASTER POST

Day 30: VR Helmets

[spicybylerpolls]

wow! 36.7% of people so far said they’d be uncomfy and wouldn’t participate in this blog if Mike and Will actually “looked 14” on partake anon’s question. part of me is surprised, and then again part of me isn’t surprised cuz maybe I just have no limits 🙈 compared to most idk.

I do think it raises intriguing ethical and societal questions. One, what does it even mean to “look 14” anyway. I mean, everyone ages and matures at different rates. I’ve seen 14/15 year olds who absolutely do look like Finn and especially Noah did at the end of S4, and I’ve seen 14/15 year olds who look REALLY young (like little kids), and I’ve seen adults who look like they’re 14 or 15. Finn and Noah obviously look like adults- and they are- (attractive ones at that), but idt it was too difficult to suspend my disbelief and believe they were teens in Hawkins, especially compared to other shows that cast literal 30-year olds and stuff. But at the same time, based on these poll results so far, it seems like that dissonance is what allows some to be more comfy imagining their characters in sexual situations? That’s interesting.

Also, most of these polls (especially the ones directly about sex) are aged up, so even if Byler “looked 14” at the end of S4, that doesn’t mean they would stay there. And the actors probably wouldn’t look that way anymore due to puberty. So I’m very curious why it would be difficult for some to just imagine them as older in S5? Does that mean people are REALLY connected to specific imagery and iconography when thinking about Byler? I feel like I could imagine them at… idk… 65, and it’s not like I’d still have the image of them as kids? But I guess that’s one of the reasons people are uncomfy with this blog in general cause they can’t get S1 Byler out of their heads. “We saw them grow up!” Yes and? Everyone grows up. And people grow up and explore their sexualities. It’s a part of life.

So I guess my question for your blog is what does it mean for people to find this hypothetical scenario uncomfortable and not want to partake?

a) I don’t feel this way and would be fully comfortable cause Byler is still fictional and they’d be aged-up anyway

b) I’d be personally uncomfortable and wouldn’t want to participate. I’d silently judge/side-eye those who did, cause it’d be a little weird. But I wouldn’t try to stop them.

c) I’d be personally uncomfortable and wouldn’t partake but I wouldn’t judge those who did, silently or vocally. Fiction is fiction. You do you.

d) I’d be personally uncomfortable and wouldn’t want to participate. I’d vocally judge/side-eye those who did, cause it’d be a little weird. But I wouldn’t try to stop them.

e) I’d be personally uncomfortable and wouldn’t want to participate. I’d vocally judge those who did, AND I’d actively try to get people to not partake because it’d be morally wrong.

f) I would partake but still feel uncomfortable

g) I would partake and feel uncomfortable but enjoy that discomfort/taboo

h) something else (please explain)

i) see results (as always)

Please note that the purpose of this blog is not to be creepy or to make anyone uncomfortable. That's why I created the #spicy byler tag (I will tag all polls with this). If you don't want to see this blog or anything related to it on your feed, please block that tag. Not everyone is comfortable with this sorta stuff, and that's okay.

[asystemerror]

📝Share a snippet of an unposted WIP, with or without context.

Here's a writing one I did for class a while back! It was meant to be a backstory/flashback for one of my characters in a story my friend and I are writing called, Desiderium!

Neil is essentially a spirit medium who's been born with the ability to see ghosts due to a "family curse". Because of this, he's picked up a fair share of curious ghouls over the years. Mrs. Adlehorn included haha. I was hoping with this short story I could make her less of an antagonistic character as she is now in the story and more of one who simply lets her emotions get the better of her when protecting people she cares about.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

If Mrs. Adlehorn could say anything about the afterlife, it was that it slowly got duller and duller as the years went on. Her poor house had slowly become empty over the years as fewer people became interested in living in a house like hers. It was ironically fitting, she supposed. The liveliness of her life had seemed to slowly fade as time passed and her memory had slowly faded from the public's mind. She had a sense this would happen, of course, yet seeing time pass without her still felt strange and off putting. Like something she'd hear on a late-night radio show than her actual current experience. 

She tried not to think too much about it, it served her nothing but worry after all. However, it was hard as her mind and soul drifted aimlessly around her house. She spared only quick glances towards the all too familiar rooms of the house, occasionally taking note of a new spiderweb or dust that was plaguing one of the many disregarded pieces of furniture. Those were normal occurrences around the house. What wasn't was the creaking footsteps that came from her parlor.

It seemed that she had a visitor of sorts, a young lad who had wandered into the house for whatever reason. Mrs. Adlehorn had never been good at guessing ages, but from his general appearance, she'd guess he was maybe 10 or so. Perhaps coming here was a dare among school friends? Youth exploring abandoned places? Whatever the reason the visitors seemed to leave as quickly as they came, often freaked out by the eerie quiet of the house. Yet, she couldn't sense any trace of discomfort from this child. In fact, If she didn't know better, she'd say they were looking directly at her.

"Hello, Miss."

She jumped at that. As a ghost, she usually wasn't able to be seen - let alone addressed by most people. She glanced around, double-checking that the child was, in fact, addressing her. When the empty room confirmed this, she gave an answer. "Hello there. Who might you be?"

"My name is Neil." They answered. "I came here because people kept telling me about a ghost that's seen in the upstairs window. I wanted to see if the stories about it were true."

"Oh? Are you satisfied with what you've found so far?" She questioned, curious about how aware the lad was of his 6th sense.

"I think so... I didn't expect to find anything if I'm being honest." He muttered. "Ghost stories are usually made to scare younger kids. I didn't think anyone was actually going to be in here...If that makes sense."

"What do you think you're going to do now?" She asked, accepting the explanation from the child for now. She didn't necessarily expect any huge revelations from the child. It was, however, slightly humorous how shocked they were at seeing a ghost. She would have guessed he'd seen at least one other spirit before herself, even if just at a quick glance.

"I think I maybe want to try to figure out why there are so many ghost stories around this place." He said, still sounding unsure in his own statements. "Surely there's a reason right? Now I'm thinking it can't all be stuff to scare little kids if you're here."

"That's correct. What a smart child you are." Mrs. Adlehorn said miming a small pat on the lad's head. "However, I'm not sure you're old enough to hear that story yet. Perhaps another day?" Or when the poor kid was older. She didn't think it was appropriate to explain what exactly happened in the building quite yet.

[galactic-pirates]

I just posted this in my favourite Trek discord but I am going to post my ramble here as well for posterity :)

I still haven’t seen this weeks episode of Picard. Give me a couple of hours.

BUT I have seen some gifsets and it appears the era appropriate Enterprise returns. Between that and the ready room scene I am half convinced that getting those fanservice shots of “look they are back together just how they were!!!” is the only point of the season and whatever crap they had to fling at the wall to get those shots didn’t matter to them.

Anyway I would like to propose an alternate season 3 pitch that would achieve those exact same shots.

It’s Frontier Day. Between the synth ban reversal (and now being a synth! The first human to synth?), and of course the new Borg showing up/narrow averting the Galaxy catastrophe of the season 2 finale Picard’s star is on the rise again. He is enjoying a resurgence in reputation. Therefore it’s only natural, especially with Geordi in charge of the museum that as a special show (for the kids maybe as some kind of living history?) they put the Enterprise-D crew back together. It is supposed to be a performance. Perhaps for StarFleet recruitment even. A little reenactment of one of their famous missions.

But then. Something plotty happens like maybe the Borg watching over the new wormhole thing sound the alarm as “something is coming through” duh duh duh. All hands on deck. No time to change ships. Picard isn’t about to sit this out so they warp into action. More plotty stuff like maybe to beat whatever comes through they need to understand it, so to explore/negotiate etc. they go through to learn things.

Anyway the Enterprise-D and crew are on mission. Alone in a strange new part of the Galaxy dealing with this new threat.

So stakes are high check. Have to work as a team check. Everyone is back and on the Enterprise check.

A plot like this would have

a) allowed the characters to express discomfort at having to adopt roles that haven’t been theirs for 30 years. Show how they have grown, but also allow for nostalgia and what remains the same.

b) drawn on previous seasons of Picard, for better continuity

c) who has experience in a Federation unknown part of the Galaxy? Seven from her time on Voyager allowing her to both have her own nostalgia trip, and also have something really concrete to contribute.

d) allowed for some interesting conflicts because if Seven and Raffi had been deployed as the “starfleet officers kinda ‘in charge’ as they are active StarFleet and none of the Enterprise crew really is (they got the gig due to working with Picard so closely before) then with this unexpected adventure what’s the chain of command? What’s the protocols? Especially if said regulations had changed over the years.

e) finally it would break some new ground and give future Trek new plots to explore. Maybe introduce a whole new alien type. It could also do some heartwarming Federation stuff about ruefully acknowledging past mistakes, at the same time as trying to do better and show these new people the best of who the Federation can be

Worf and Raffi could have still teamed up for ‘away missions’ as two of the fittest/most able crew members. I still remember what Riker said about his knees 😂

Riker and Picard still could have butted heads over how to handle stuff. Like I said with the discomfort of having grown away from the roles they are now being forced back into.

Deanna’s abilities could have been vital. I’m sure all of them could have had a chance to shine.

The only kinda question mark as to whether this could have fitted in somehow is Data’s resurrection. I guess perhaps they could have rebuilt him and then ‘unveiled him’ as part of a “look a Federation hero has returned” as a Frontier Day celebration cue Picard’s horror that they are treating Data like a prop not a person, that they had revived him potentially against his wishes, and maybe even allow Data to consider his future and what he wants from his newfound life. Does he still want to be StarFleet/their poster boy synth? Does he want to explore other aspects of life? Will they let him go if that’s what he wants?

Anyway I think something like this could have ticked the boxes and egotistically I think it’s a better premise than the season 3 we had. So thought experiment time!

If you were a Trek writer how would you have written season three? What direction would you have gone given the parameters of the nostalgia TNG focus?

[rocorambles]

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Pairing: Kuroo x Bokuto x Daichi x Reader

Genre/Warnings: NSFW, Threesome, Foursome, Degradation, Humiliation, Sex Toys, Bondage, Pet Play, Double Penetration, Triple Penetration, Dirty Talk, Gangbang, Orgy

Dating Kuroo is an adventure to say the least and you’re finally understanding what the saying ‘curiosity killed the cat’ truly means. You had always prided yourself on being open minded, always willing to try things at least once. But your boyfriend is really testing your limits, widening your horizons as he introduces you to toys you didn’t even know existed, coaxes you into positions and scenes you never thought you would enjoy as much as you do, drowns you in depths of pleasure you didn’t think was possible. Yet for all his roguish sly charm and wily ways, he’s careful to never overstep your boundaries, hazel eyes always carefully observing you, stopping and cradling you in strong arms even before you yourself have realized that you’re way over your head. 

Maybe it’s silly and naive of you, but you trust him with your life. Maybe that’s why despite how surreal and overwhelming the word ‘threesome’ sounds, despite the way your head spins at the thought of being sandwiched between two bodies when Kuroo alone is enough to make you feel like you’re losing your mind, you hesitantly nod your head when he gently asks you about it. 

You’re glad it’s Bokuto that Kuroo invites into your bedroom and you can’t help but feel like you’re being embraced by the sun itself as strong arms pin you down, a broad smile that warms your heart peering down at you, an energetic voice making you giggle as it hoots about how beautiful you are. And when both men finally bottom out inside of you, Bokuto capturing your lips in a passionate kiss as his cock stretches your dripping pussy, Kuroo nuzzling and sucking your neck in a way that has you gasping and distracted from the twinge of discomfort from your puckered hole, you can’t help but feel that there’s something ironically sweet and comforting about the new position you’re in, nothing crass or dirty about it despite all the negative connotations of having more than two bodies in a bed.  

You can’t help but shake your head in amusement in between wanton moans as the two men you’re sandwiched between begin to playfully banter above your head as they continuously thrust into both your holes, squealing when they decide to use you to compete against each other, two sets of hands gripping your waist and hips tighter as they increase their pace, drool trickling from the side of your open mouth as your eyes roll back in your head, nails digging and clawing at the muscular shoulders and back of the professional athlete in front of you, head leaning back and resting against the toned chest of your boyfriend. 

It feels good, maybe too good being stretched fuller than you’ve ever been before, being manhandled like a rag doll, unable to do much except lay there as your two partners move you up and down as they see fit. But there’s something comforting and grounding about the two warm bodies surrounding you and you stare transfixed, pussy tightening and more arousal making a mess between your legs as Bokuto and Kuroo hungrily lock lips, owl and cat fighting for dominance as they spill their seed inside of you, filling you to the brim, smirking at the way you can’t stop gazing at both of them in awe, teasing you about the way you’re clamping down on their cocks from their little show like a perverted little voyeur. 

If you thought Kuroo and you were adventurous before, this is an entirely new realm of exploration and you deliriously wonder if you can ever go back, if you even want to go back to the way things were before as you’re brought to mind breaking pleasure over and over again, sometimes from two pairs of mouths, two cocks, two pairs of hands, a mix and match of any of the previous things, sometimes from toys when you’ve been especially naughty or when the men are feeling particularly sadistic as they tie you up and force you to watch as the two of them go at it, cruelly laughing at how pathetic you look, whining and begging to be included as your usually dominant boyfriend is moaning like a whore while Bokuto shoves him face down in the sheets and fucks him thoroughly, cumming from the sight of Kuroo teasingly slapping Bokuto’s ass as the owl-haired man whimpers and moans as he rides your boyfriend’s cock. 

But when you meet Daichi, you wonder if there’s something seriously wrong with you. 

You have an amazing, loving, and devoted boyfriend. You have a wonderful friend? Lover? Whatever Boktuo is to Kuroo and you these days. And yet you can’t help the stirring of desire that coils within you when you meet the officer your boyfriend has spoken so fondly of for the first time, unable to look away from the warm brown eyes and the charming smile, eyes constantly flickering down and gaping at thick thighs, only being dragged to reality by Kuroo calling your name, guilt eating away at you every time hazel eyes affectionately look at you. 

Were you that selfish? That desperate? One man...two men weren’t enough for you? 

This shouldn’t be your reaction to meeting Sawamura Daichi, your boyfriend’s ex-lover and friend with benefits. You should be friendly, but apathetic at best, maybe even jealous and cold at worst. But you definitely shouldn’t be attracted to the man sitting beside you and engaging you in polite conversation. You definitely shouldn’t be so quick to understand exactly why Kuroo had fallen into bed with the brunette. 

Unknown to you, feline eyes regard the scene in front of him in interest and a hint of satisfaction and surprise. Kuroo had been nervous about the two of you meeting, feeling unsure about even keeping up his friendship with the ex-Karasuno captain when he started dating you, never wanting you to ever have a reason to feel insecure or doubt his loyalty to you. But you had been so quick to reassure him, so understanding, so trusting when he had told you everything about his past relationship with Daichi, about how the two of them are still close friends. And he remembers to this day how you laughed in his face, pinching his lips together to silence him before flicking him on the forehead and telling him he could be friends with whoever he wants. 

“I trust you, Tetsurou. Plus, if you did cheat on me, it’s not me you’d have to worry about. Good luck dealing with an angry Bokuto.” 

He knows you had been genuine, but he had still expected some level of discomfort when you met Daichi. After all, he imagines meeting your significant other’s ex-lover is an uncomfortable situation to be in for even someone with the kindest of hearts. But he certainly hadn’t expected that familiar spark in your eyes when you shook Daichi’s hand and he definitely hadn’t expected to see that interest returned in brown eyes that trailed and lingered on your face, your body throughout the night.       

Kuroo doesn’t believe in soulmates, but he thinks that you might just be the closest thing to it. 

Daichi stiffens when a familiar lean figure corners him in a secluded hallway, a scowl already forming on his face as he prepares to combat Kuroo’s typical snarky comments. But he’s speechless, unable to form words from a suddenly dry throat. 

“She’s pretty isn’t she? I noticed how you couldn’t stop staring at her all night.”

An apology is already on the tip of the officer’s tongue, shame swirling deep in Daichi’s guts at being caught, for not being able to better control his wandering gaze. But he sputters at Kuroo’s next words. 

“She’s even prettier in bed. Bokuto can attest to that. Come join us and see for yourself.” 

Daichi’s always thought of himself as an upright citizen, a morally sound human being. But even when they were younger, Kuroo had always managed to make him question just how straight laced he actually is. And he’s quickly realizing that even now, even almost an entire decade later, Kuroo hasn’t lost any of his persuasive sway over him. 

There’s something incredibly strange about discussing having a sexual experience with your ex-lover’s new significant other, especially when it’s being done behind said significant other’s back and especially when it’s being brought up because you couldn’t stop staring at said significant other like a lecherous geezer. And Daichi is trying to shut down the idea before Kuroo can say anything else, trying to shove the taller male away to escape the stifling atmosphere. 

But Kuroo’s always managed to get his way and his claws are out, already digging too far in Daichi’s soft feathery flesh for the crow to truly fly away. 

“Your interest isn’t one-sided, Sawamura. Think about it.” 

And Daichi does think about it, brown eyes staring up at his ceiling as he lays in bed, remembering every word the two of you exchanged, recalling every detail of your face, cursing himself for how weak-willed he is as he picks up his phone from his nightstand, swiftly sending the message before he can second guess himself anymore. 

“I’m down.”  

It’s just another typical night for the three of you and you moan on all fours, Kuroo’s hand twisted in your hair, forcing you all the way down on his cock until your nose brushes against his lower abdomen, tears streaming from your eyes as Bokuto’s calloused hands tightly hold your hips as he continuously slams into you from behind, making the bell attached to your pretty pink collar chime in a lewd melody. But there’s a brief pause as the doorbell rings and you gasp for breath, drool dripping from your mouth when Kuroo releases his hold on you, peering curiously in the direction of the front entrance as the ringing continues before quickly pulling on a pair of discarded sweatpants and exiting the bedroom, checking the source of the interruption. 

The momentary distraction has you forgetting exactly what position you’re in, but you’re abruptly reminded that you’re not alone when strong hands haul you up until your back is pressed flush against a hard chest, one hand sliding towards your front, rolling one of your perky nipples between its fingers, the other hand gripping your waist and anchoring you as the cock inside of you resumes its relentless pace, gravity forcing the shaft even deeper inside of you as you have no choice but to completely bottom out with every bounce. 

The flames inside of you are beginning to grow and build into a raging inferno as you’re driven closer and closer to a release and you can’t think of anything else except the huge cock inside of you, the deep grunts of the man behind you. But you let out a panicked whimper, nails clawing at Bokuto to slow down, stop, eyes going wide in disbelief when Daichi enters the room, followed closely by your boyfriend. 

You feel so vulnerable as brown eyes gape at your tear and drool stained face, the rise and fall of your breasts, the way your lower half is lewdly connected and breached by the cock inside of it and you instinctively move your arms to cover yourself, only to whine when Bokuto’s hands firmly hold your arms to your side, admonishing you with a thrust of his hips. And Daichi thinks he might be drooling when he hears the instinctive moan you let out from the action.

It’s Kuroo who breaks the tense silence and your attention immediately snaps towards him when his comforting and familiar voice fills the room.

“I saw the way you two looked at each other that night you met.” 

There’s already a protest and denial ready to pour from your mouth, but you obediently stay silent at the sharp look hazel eyes pin you with. 

“I’m willing to let you two get to know each other better. But only if you want to, kitten.”

Your heart warms at the way his voice softens, hazel eyes peering into your soul, searching for any hesitation, fear, doubts, anything that would have him immediately ushering Daichi out. You’re still a bit apprehensive, nervous, but...You can’t deny the heat growing inside of you as brown eyes darken at the sight of you, as you’re unable to tear your eyes away from the growing bulge between those deliciously muscular thighs. And Kuroo laughs. 

“Well, I’ll consider that a yes from you. I’d ask if you’re sure about this too, Sawamura, but considering this, I’m going to take that as a yes too.”

Daichi growls when Kuroo teasingly reaches down to palm the officer’s growing erection and your thighs clench at the sight of your boyfriend being forced into submission as Daichi’s hand grab him by the back of his unruly hair, eliciting a broken whine when the cat-like man is forced to submissively bare his neck as his head is forced back.

“Keep on running that mouth of yours and it’s you I’m going to be collaring and leashing tonight.” 

You’re not opposed to the idea and you almost have half a mind to goad Daichi into following through with his threat. But suddenly brown eyes are back on you and you gulp as Daichi grabs the leash in Kuroo’s hand before stalking slowly towards you, obediently staying still and preening with pride as he gently cups your face and softly tells you how beautiful and well behaved you are, mewling in contentment when he attaches the leash to your collar. 

Bokuto whines at being ignored, but golden eyes swoop onto your boyfriend who’s tugging his sweatpants back off and reaching for a bottle of lube as he winks at your athletic lover. And before you can even register what’s happening, Daichi and Bokuto are carefully lifting you up and now it’s your turn to pout at the empty feeling inside of you as Bokuto bounds towards the messy haired man who’s panting as he works a slick covered finger into his tight puckered hole.

But you’re not left to wallow for long when a sharp tug of your collar has you gasping and staring wide eyed at the man in front of you. 

“Present for me, beautiful.”

The combination of the praise and authoritarian tone to his voice has you diving back down on the bed and you lay your upper body on the soft surface, arching your back more than usual, wiggling your hips in an enticing manner as Daichi draws near. But you yelp as a heavy hand sharply smacks your ass.

“I said to present, not be a fucking tease.” 

You whimper, slightly unsure as you instantly still, so used to Bokuto and Kuroo always letting you get away with your cheekiness. But you sink into the warm touch as Daichi soothingly traces the curve of your spine, eager to please as his fingertips explore every inch of you, reaching beneath you to playfully tweak your nipples as he litters your back and neck with soft butterfly kisses, wrapping his body over yours as he grinds his hardening cock against your dripping hole. 

Patience has never been your strong suit and despite how hard you try to stay put and let Daichi explore and map your body, you can’t help the desperate whimper and insistent swivel of your ass as you try to match his rhythm, meet every one of his controlled and shallow thrusts in a wordless plea for more. And you’re swiftly punished with a harsh pinch and twist of your sensitive nubs, squealing at the jolt of pain as teeth bite down on your neck. 

“Fine. You want it that badly? I’ll give it to you. But don’t cry when it’s too much for you.” 

You loudly wail when you’re suddenly being slammed into, nails clawing at your bedsheets as you try to find purchase, teeth biting down on the pillow below your head to ground yourself even just a tiny bit. But even that’s taken away from you and you let out a high-pitched keen as Daichi pulls on your leash, forcing your head to lift up and arch, forcing your jaw to drop open in a silent perpetual gasp as you suck in as much air as you can with leather digging into your neck. 

“Let me hear how much you like it.” 

It should be embarrassing, humiliating, falling apart so easily underneath a man who’s pretty much a stranger to you, who’s only had his hands on you for minutes, but it’s hard to feel shame when all you can register is the way he deliciously spreads you open, ruthlessly plundering you in a way that makes you feel owned, that makes your breasts bounce with every thrust, the tightness around your throat just more proof of how far you’ve let yourself fall. And Daichi smirks at the way your broken cries echo throughout the room, a wanton blabbering chant of “yes, like it so much, thank you” slipping past your lips 

“God, you’re an even bigger slut than your boyfriend and that’s saying something.” 

The reminder that it’s not just the two of you in the room has you blearily turning to look in the direction of your other two lovers and you moan at the sight of a white sticky trail leaking out of Kuroo’s ass, Bokuto’s large hand wrapped around both their cocks as he slowly strokes them back to life despite both of them having already cum, cocks already beginning to harden once more at the debauched image you make. 

Daichi snorts at how hungry gold eyes ravenously stare at both of you. 

“I see that you’re still as insatiable as ever, Bokuto. Our pretty girl does have two other holes you can use.” 

That’s all the encouragement the owl-like man needs and you let yourself be maneuvered like a doll, moaning as you slip back down on Daichi’s cock, sloppily kissing the cop who’s now laying underneath you, finding comfort in the intimate connection as Bokuto slowly works your puckered hole open, focusing on Daichi’s hand gently drawing soothing designs on your back and your sides as one finger becomes two becomes three before the head of the athlete’s cock nudges at your fluttering entrance. 

Daichi deepens your kiss, entangling his tongue with yours as he swallows your cry of discomfort as Bokuto slowly pushes, pushes, and pushes. It’s so much and you’re panting, heart racing when he finally bottoms out, mind going blank from the overwhelming fullness of being double stuffed, but you let the men lull you into a sense of security as Bokuto coos praises into your ears, softly kissing your nape and your back, as Daichi continues tasting your mouth, your lips, neither of them moving despite how tempting your tightness and heat are, letting you adjust. 

But they share an amused smile when you finally shake their gentle touches off, snapping a bratty demand to get on with it at both of them, smirking when both men hiss when you teasingly tighten around both of them. 

They’re quick to wipe that smug expression off your face and it’s their turn to smirk at you as you begin babbling incoherently, delirious pleasure making it hard for you to do anything except lay there as both your holes are ravaged. And Daichi stares in awe and pride at how destroyed you look, eyes rolling back and jaw hanging open as you slump down on top of him, only Bokuto’s strong arms keeping your hips lifted as both men continue thrusting in and out of you. 

“Oya, oya? You’re so noisy, kitten. That’s very rude to our neighbors. Let me help you quiet down.” 

Kuroo grabs the forgotten leash from the bed, hauling your head up as he wraps the material in his hand until your eye level with his cock, his other hand twisting in your hair and keeping you still as he rubs his pre-cum and length all over your face, mockingly laughing as your tongue instinctively lolls out to taste the delicious treat. 

“Look at you. You really are just a silly pet, aren’t you? Open wide. I’ll give you your treat.” 

Daichi and Bokuto groan at the sight of your drooling mouth being stretched and shoved down Kuroo’s cock, not even a hint of resistance as your boyfriend pushes you down further and further until your nose presses against his groin, barely letting you adjust before he sharply snaps his hips and laughs at how the three of you let out a chorus of moans from the way your ass and pussy tighten from having your mouth fucked. 

“We’re going to use and fuck every one of your holes, kitten. And we’re not stopping until every hole is stuffed full of cum and we’re all satisfied. Understand?”

You don’t even get to garble a muffled answer around the cock inside your mouth before all three men are raring back to action and you really do feel like nothing but holes for cocks as all your holes are plundered, nothing controlled or in sync about any of their rhythms as they use you as a means to chase their own highs. But there’s something intoxicating about relinquishing all control, being used however they deem fit, focusing on the heady sensations of being completely full, and you can feel a familiar coil twisting and turning inside of you, can feel a telltale trembling in your thighs as the feeling grows and grows. 

None of this goes unnoticed by hazel eyes staring down at you and Kuroo smiles as he reaches down to tweak one of your nipples, patronizingly petting your head as you convulse and shatter to pieces before resuming the snapping of his hips. Your twitching walls are all Daichi needs to join you in post-coital bliss and he snaps up one last time, emptying his balls inside of you before lazily sinking back down onto the rumpled sheets, holding your overstimulated writhing body in place as Bokuto and Kuroo continue their joint assault. 

But it’s game over when the brunette slips a hand between your sweaty bodies, rubbing and playing with your clit in a way that has you seeing stars and wantonly shaking your hips and moaning as pleasure once again mixes in with the overwhelming sensations and Bokuto’s hands dig into your skin as he bottoms out inside of you, biting down on your shoulder as he fills you with thick white spurts, adding to the mess between your legs when he pulls out. 

And now it’s just Kuroo and you and hazel eyes adoringly watch as you practically hump Daichi’s hand as his fingers coax another orgasm from you, throwing his own head back in pleasure as your moans vibrate against his cock when Bokuto’s hands find their way back to your breasts, rolling the perky sensitive buds between calloused fingertips once again. But he grits his teeth and waits as his rhythm becomes uneven, as his thrusts become more shallow, hazel eyes watching and waiting, watching and waiting, watching and- 

He immediately pulls out of your mouth with a lewd pop as you’re forced to another peak, mouth opening wide in a silent scream, body twitching and spasming violently. And that’s all he needs to join you over the edge, moaning as he paints your face white, basking in the glow of his release as he takes in your glorious ruined state, something oddly warm and endearing swirling inside of him at the way Daichi and Bokuto are quick to cradle your exhausted body in their arms and lather you with praise and affection as he goes to draw a bath for you.  

It’s crowded in your bed that night, the queen sized bed not meant to hold four full grown adults, and yet, as the four of you drift off into a peaceful exhausted slumber, bodies squished against each other, limbs sprawled all over the place, the natural joint body heat borderline suffocating, you can’t help but think that it somehow feels just right.                  

[dear-mrs-otome]

Hey do you know a possible explanation for Silvio's aversion to touch when it comes to women (who initiate it) ?

This may be because of a past trauma. It might have been that he was never touched, as a child, by his Mother or other female caregivers.

I think now it's pretty obvious that his mother heavily neglected him because she favoured her (eldest?) son Emilio, and also his father didn't give a damn about him by what it looks like; moreover, seeing how good Rio's mother was to him made Silvio jealous of that affection and even more lonely imo. This created both a desire for that touch because of what he saw with Rio's mother, and an aversion to it because he simply didn't know how to handle it/ wasn't used to it. Between the desire and the aversion is a great deal of tension, stress, fear and many uncomfortable feelings in general.

After reading his birthday story, i don't think that he feels just embarrassment when he gets touched by women (Emma in this case). Maybe I read it all wrong or I'm digging too much into it, but he was quite displeased imo, it wasn't a good sensation for him. He gets flustered, but also incredibly uncomfortable when he's not the one who initiates physical interaction with women (i still can't quite explain this behavior though, is he a control freak now? Godddd pls give us an interesting psychological explanation and not just "he's a very shy man uwu", i want DRAMA and TRAUMA and ANGST!!!)

Anyway, sorry for my rant and for my English, it's not my native language

Heya Nonny, first off your English is great don't be self conscious! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts 😊

As for my theories or musings on the whole touch thing, post birthday story, I'll ramble under a cut.

As of right now I don't know a concrete reason for why Silvio loathes being touched by women so much. I wonder if it might be a combination of what you suggested, a lack of warmth from his parental figures, and perhaps of the fact that from what little we've gathered about his interactions with women prior to Emma it's all been about gold-digging. Disingenuous women who only seem interested in his money - or at least that's what SILVIO thinks.

Silvio is the eldest of the three sons, which both sort of stings that he's the most neglected and makes a terrible sort of sense - the eldest is often expected to get by and manage things on their own, to be more independent and have their accomplishments be 'expected'. But that can backfire and leave them feeling neglected and passed over as well...and that's in a functional family.

I don't think it's reading it wrong to think after his POV that his feelings surrounding being touched by women are very complex and not simply being shy. There is some degree of that, in how he blushes and blames his pounding heart on his anxiety (which it wasn't really). I think there is a genuine desire to be closer to Emma, but there's genuine distress as well - in JP he uses the terms 気持ち悪い and 嫌悪感 to describe his feelings, and those are not happy words. They indicate real discomfort and revulsion, an almost physical NOPE reaction that he has to struggle to ride out. Even in the AU story he flat out says he's not really slept with women but he's willing to (try) because it's her.

As to what is the source of this, I guess we'll find out. It definitely seems like it could be some sort of deep-seated trauma...could Cybird pull an interesting switch and have Silvio be the victim of sexual assault? Not that it's ever a good trope to rely on, but it's rare that the concept of male victims are ever explored or given the attention they deserve. If so, I hope they manage to do so respectfully.

[buckyownsmylife]

Count the Shadows - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky wants you to sit on his face.

Warnings: smut, a more dominant reader than I’m used to writing, pining!Bucky, all of the good stuff, second hand embarassment

A/N: so... this is a gift to @navegandoaciegas. She gave me the idea for the Graveyard series ending, and that actually inspired me to keep working on that fic that was supposed to only be a oneshot and then became the pride of my eye. I hope you don’t mind that I’m dedicating this to her 😅 It also allowed me to explore some new kinks that might be appearing thanks to her writing and so really, I felt like this had to see the light of day. But really, if it weren’t for @world-of-aus, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ and @awesomerextyphoon​‘s support, I probably never would have had the courage to publish it, so thank you guys so much!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Friday nights at Stark tower meant that something out of the ordinary was about to happen, and I’d already grown used to it, after being a part of the Avengers for the last two months. However, that didn’t mean that the prospect of a night planned by Tony Stark didn’t bring me a hell of a lot of anxiety, to the point where sometimes I’d catch myself wishing for a simple recon mission to take me away for the weekend. 

Despite all of my fears and discomfort, I’d been lucky so far. Not once had his attentions turned towards me, and he never even so much as called me to dance with him during one of the raves he liked to organize, so I was able to slip by unnoticed, seizing the opportunity to drink the good (expensive) booze and talk to my friends before retiring for the night.

By Wednesday that week, it was clear that the same couldn’t be said about the next event he’d be hosting.

“Say, Y/L/N, have I thrown you a welcome party?” Was my rude awakening on that fateful morning. Until his arrival, I’d been happily whipping up some pancakes for the supersoldiers and Sam, my morning run partners. The moment his question was processed in my brain however, I froze on my spot, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Oh, now, don’t give me that look. When have I ever thrown a bad party?”

Bucky choked on his coffee, and I immediately was by his side, lightly tapping his back to help him. “I guess this answers your question,” I joked, but with a serious face. Unfortunately, Tony simply rolled his eyes, too used to Bucky and I’s “antisocial behavior”, like he usually described, to give us any attention. “Okay, so maybe not bad, but if you’re going to throw a party using me as an excuse, I have at least one request. And it’s a dealbreaker for me.”

Something in my words truly interested Tony, because instead of brushing me off he actually turned to face me, raising his eyebrows in expectation. “So what you mean is that if I don’t give you what you want, you won’t join the party?”

I nodded, standing my ground. “That’s right.” Next to me, Bucky stood straighter in his chair. 

“Neither will I.” That brought a smile to my lips, and I turned to hug him quickly. 

“Thanks Buck,” I whispered in his ear, relishing in the way he always held onto my embrace just a second longer than I expected. It was always like this with us. Ever since I first noticed just how touch-starved the super soldier was, I’d find little excuses to touch him. And if I ever doubted my first assumption, the way he always chased away my warmth for just a second longer was enough to prove to me that I was doing something right.

“Very well,” Tony said after clearing his throat to regain my attention. “What’s your request?”

“Only the people who live in this tower can be invited.” I was expecting a lot of fuss from the billionaire, but surprisingly, all I got was a disappointed sigh.

“Figured as much. Okay, big shot. But here’s the deal: you’ll have to stay the entire night and participate in every game we decide to play.” I shrugged, taking a sip of my coffee. That sounded fair. “It’s a deal then! All you have to do is be here on Friday night, capisce? Don’t be late.”

I should have known something was up back then, but as it were, I was just happy that I was able to stop him from filling the Tower with people I didn’t know. Not only would it help to keep Bucky relaxed (and perhaps even allow him to enjoy himself for once!), it’d also help to keep myself relaxed. 

I’d never been one to enjoy big crowds, and I especially didn’t want to celebrate joining the team with people who weren’t even a part of it. It made sense. So when Friday night rolled around, it found me in a way better mood than I expected. I even accepted Nat’s suggestion and let her pick my clothes. I was feeling so great, in fact, that I felt bolder, brave enough to accept to wear a satin red dress with a deep neckline that seemed to be able to attract every man’s attention upon seeing me. 

Even Bucky seemed drawn to it. And I couldn’t deny that knowing I held that sort of power even to a man of his caliber, a man that attractive, made me feel even braver. But with braveness comes stupidity, and I was brutally reminded of that fact by Tony’s smug face when I heard the dare he had for me.

Listen, I would have never accepted the idea of fucking truth or dare if it wasn’t for this stupidly sexy dress. I mean, the powers that clothing can have… They can make you blind with clout. That’s the only way I could justify what happened next.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I argued, much to Tony’s (and the rest of the team’s) amusement. Each and every single one of them looked at me with barely contained laughter, with the exception of Bucky, apparently.

“Careful, sweetheart… The dare’s already on and that wasn’t very sexy of you.” Narrowing my eyes at him, I very carefully thought out my gameplay here. I could very well retreat to my bedroom and go to sleep. But then again, this whole night had been so fun, and Tony had been really nice to abide by my wishes to only invite people that I knew…

“Fine. I’ll spend the rest of the night being as blunt as possible as I hit on you guys. After all, this is probably the only way you’ll ever get to hear me talking dirty, huh?” And with a wink in Tony’s direction, I resigned myself to face the challenge ahead. “So, let’s get on with this orgy, shall we?”

Bucky’s P.O.V.

It’s not that I was jealous. Of course, I wasn’t jealous. It’s just… hearing her say those things in front of everyone else made my blood boil like nothing else. I knew it wasn’t my place to feel this way. It’s not like she owed me anything, much less attention. As much as I wanted, she wasn’t mine, or even close to that.

Despite being head over heels in love with her, I still hadn’t gathered enough courage to even ask her out for a cup of coffee - or anything else, for that matter. And the worst part was that everyone but her seemed to know about my feelings. Which made this whole night even worse, since I was pretty sure Tony had done all of this on purpose.

So I had to sit through a lot of “Oh, please fuck me”, and “I wouldn’t kick you out of bed,” none of which were addressed to me - and those were the least graphic ones. I couldn’t really blame her, since I hadn’t spoken a single word from the second this whole dare started, but still, I was sulking, and I knew it.

In fact, I was so lost inside my own head, that I didn’t even realize what had happened when she asked “Do you want me to sit on your face or what?” (which I’m pretty sure was directed to Sam) until a heavy silence took the place of the animated chatter that had been going on. Imagine my surprise when I realized everyone was staring at me.

“What?” I asked, my heart already beating out of control, looking from one face to the other in the hopes of grasping what I had lost in the conversation.

“You just said you wanted Y/N to sit on your face,” was the response I got, from no other than Sam himself, and if my heart had been pounding on my chest only seconds before, now it felt as if it had stopped altogether.

“You’re crazy,” I tried to joke, trying with all of my might not to look at the woman who was staring at me. I could feel her gaze on my face. It burned and I ached to look, to see what sort of expression she was wearing, but my anxiety was just too strong - stronger than my curiosity ever could be.

“I wish I was, man. But you literally just answered ‘Please sit on mine’ when she asked if she could sit on my face.” I was going to die. I was sure of it. My face felt so warm, there was no way I wouldn’t just spontaneously combust any second now.

The worst part was, I knew Sam was telling the truth. Because those were the precise words I thought the second that I heard the offer leave her beautiful lips. And now I didn’t know what to do.

“Fine, your room or mine?” She broke me out of my self-deprecating thoughts, surprising me so much that I automatically raised my eyes to meet hers, finding her looking down at me with a mischievous smirk on her lips. Was she joking? Was this part of the dare?

The room erupted on laughs and I forced myself to join them, praying to whoever was available up in the heavens that they would let me be and thankfully, soon enough, the conversation smoothly transitioned away from me and my stupid malfunctioning. Y/N didn’t look in my direction again, which helped with my task of trying to get my breathing pattern into a normal one once more, and in a half hour people were breaking up into small groups and going back into their own rooms for the night.

I figured it was safe to do the same. So I got back to my bedroom’s floor with my hands buried deep in my pocket, trying to figure out what the hell had happened that night, when the door to my room suddenly opened and a tiny hand wrapped around my wrist, hauling me as best as they could into my own living quarters.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Bucky looked beyond surprised as he stared down at me with his mouth hanging open. I was tempted to tease him about letting flies in if he stayed like that, but I didn’t want to make this any more difficult for him than it clearly already would be. To be honest, I also had no idea how I’d been able to move that mountain of a man.

“What are you doing in my room?” Oh, right. That’s what he was concerned about. Fair enough.

“I wanted to show you something.” By the way he opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally being able to say anything else, it was clear that it wasn’t the answer he was expecting, but then again, he obviously wasn’t expecting me to be in his room. 

“W-What?”

I grinned, immediately curling my fingers on the edge of my dress before promptly pulling it over my head and sending it flying across the room. Bucky’s jaw dropped, and it only made my smile grow bigger as I quickly got rid of my bra before finally doing the same to my underwear.

“What? Did you think I would let you suffer?” The poor thing, he didn’t seem capable of answering at all, eyes the size of plates as he stared at my naked body, practically drooling. I ran my hands over my breasts, cupping them slightly before trailing further down.

“Did you think I’d let Sam learn what my pussy tasted like? Or Steve? No, no, no, James. This is for you and you only.” Burying a finger inside of me, I made sure to let out my loudest, most pornographic moan as I slowly thrusted it once inside of me before raising it to his face.

“See how I’m soaked? I always get like this when I’m near you.” Bucky actually whimpered, knees faltering for a second as he reached out to grab a hold of himself with the wall next to us, and I laughed before raising a challenging eyebrow in his direction. “What are you waiting for? Get on your knees.”

My breath hitched as I watched the mountain of a man before me literally do exactly that, hypnotizingly staring at the space between my legs before slowly meeting my eyes with a look of pure need in his perfect face. Jesus. How the fuck was I supposed to control myself when he was looking at me like that?

I had gathered the sense that Bucky wanted me, that much became clear tonight, but I had no idea the extent of his desire until just then. Until he looked at me with pupils dilated from under his stupidly long eyelashes, breath coming out from his open mouth like he was desperate for me, desperate to taste what I had to offer.

He looked like he would do anything I asked him to in that second, and the feeling of power that thought gave me left me horny as nothing else. So my first order of business was to command, “Eat me.”

The second the words were out, it was clear that was all he was waiting to do what both of us so clearly wanted. Two strong hands grabbed me from behind and with that grasp of my ass, he pulled me to him until I was in fact seated on his face, wholly dependent on his muscular body to keep me up.

“Oh God,” he was the one to whisper, and a shiver ran through my body as he licked my pussy from clit to hole before diving in as if he was determined to rid me of all of my wetness - knowing fully well it was an impossible task.

Bucky Barnes didn’t need any guidance in the art of eating pussy, that quickly became clear to me, but I still felt the need to grab a hold of his hair just to help keep myself grounded into the reality of this moment. The way he moaned against my cunt at the action, the vibrations running through my body and making me tremble on top of him, certainly didn’t make me regret any part of my decision. It was clear he liked that sting of pain.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I was having a hard time believing this was really happening, even though I had Y/N’s completely naked body on top of me, her cunt spread open by my own tongue, her juices covering every inch of my tongue. I couldn’t even convince myself to close my eyes to fully enjoy her taste, too preoccupied with memorizing every little thing about this moment. 

And the second she opened her eyes to find me already looking up at her, I was particularly glad for my decision, if only because I got to witness the delicious smile that took over her beautiful face before she grinded her pussy against my lips.

“Fuck, you look so good like this. I could get used to this.” A jolt ran through my body at the implications of what she was saying. Before I could even fully process it, I was already responding with the only thing that occupied my mind then, “Please do.”

If I thought I would scare her away with my desperation, a delighted giggle immediately managed to calm my nerves. “Do you always say what you’re thinking?” She asked, still rubbing herself against me, so it took me a while to be able to moan against her wetness an honest, “Yes.” When I did though, the vibrations managed to be exactly what she needed to gush her release onto my waiting mouth, making me growl in excitement. She was so fucking sweet. My cock was so fucking hard it hurt, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to pleasure her, how much I never wanted this night to end.

Unfortunately for my plans, she decided to climb down from me, eyes drinking my kneeling position while she caught her breath for a bit before she threw herself on my bed, feet on the mattress so I’d get a perfect vision of her perfect pussy. Hypnotized, I didn’t even notice I’d gotten up and approached her until her voice broke me out of my reverie.

“Would you like to take a picture?” I knew she was joking, but there was no way I’d miss the slightest possibility of getting at least a permanent reminder of this night, so I answered as truthfully as possible yet again, “Of course. Would you let me take one?”

I was expecting her to laugh it off and move this along, but once more her answer surprised me. “Only if you promise me you won’t use it to jerk off to.” The confusion must have been clear in my expression, because she quickly added, “That’s what I’m here for.”

My heartbeat picked up as I struggled to process her words. “D-Does this mean you’ll want to do this again?” I watched as a small smile grew on her lips and she sat up on the mattress before reaching out to me.

“Every night, if you’ll have me.”

Another moment of silence as I struggled to accept that this was real, that this was really happening. 

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t contain my delighted giggles at the lovestruck expression on Bucky’s eyes. But my need for him was growing deeper every second, so while he stared I reached out for his jeans, quickly managing to unzip them and push them down until I could wrap my hands around his member.

“Jesus, you’re so hard.” Even without any actual stimulation, apparently just giving me pleasure was enough to get him ready for me. I could barely wait to feel his cock inside of my pussy.

“I-I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered while climbing on the bed and settling between my thighs. “I’ve been dreaming about this for the longest time.” Gosh, could he be any more perfect?

“Well, it’s happening now, James. Please, please, fuck me. I need your cock in me.” His lips looked wet from our earlier activities, and my gaze immediately fell on them when he gasped at my words and the feeling of his cock rubbing on my pussy. When I positioned the head and pulled him closer to me, signaling what I wanted, he followed without any resistance, his entire body trembling as he struggled to keep himself up with both hands on either side of my head.

“You’re doing so great, baby. God, it feels so good to be with you like this.” Apparently, Bucky grew tired of fighting against his own body, since he allowed his massive frame to fall just over mine, resting his forehead on mine.

“Fuck.” Hearing the word whispered so close to me, his warm breath dancing over my skin, while he was effectively about to do just that, felt incredibly arousing for something so small. “It’s like I can’t get close enough to you.”

In the search to feel more connected to me, he finally started thrusting, and then it was like I’d forgotten to speak altogether. Only able to hold tight to those shoulders that tempted me for so long, I struggled to keep the moans and whimpers inside so I could continue to hear the little breathless whispers that he was releasing, almost like he was speaking to himself…

“So wet…” It all only made me more desperate for the enchanting man on top of me, so beautiful, and yet so insecure of his own allure. I hoped after tonight he’d start understanding just how attractive he truly was, at least to me.

“Bucky…” I managed to whisper, calling out for his attention and earning it when his eyes snapped open to meet mine. “Bucky, kiss me.” I needed to feel those lips against mine, to have that one sweet gesture of entwinement that we still hadn’t shared. Apparently, he felt the same need, because in a second, he was onto me, mouth slowly prying mine open so his tongue could explore yet another part of my body that now belonged to him.

By then, he couldn’t contain his moans anymore, and I was grateful that I was still able to keep mine low so I wouldn’t miss the symphony of whimpers and whines, especially after he pulled away to catch his breath and his eyes met mine.

“Fuck, darling…” Each sound from his lips made my pulse grow quicker, my body warmer, that incredible high closer and closer to me. And still, because I needed to tease him, I found myself saying, “For someone who was so embarrassed about the team knowing you wanted me, you surely can be loud.”

Bucky hid his head on the crook of my neck, making goosebumps rise all over my body as he rubbed his nose against my skin, breathing me in. If I thought it was a gesture of shyness, his next words assured me that wasn’t the case at all.

“I want them to hear. I want them to know I’m yours.” The confession had the fire of desire burning brighter inside of me, and my hands slipped around his back, certainly leaving nailprints behind.

“Oh, is that it? You’re mine now, James?” The thought thrilled me to no end, but I needed him to say it, not only because I wanted to be sure there was no uncertainty in his feelings for me, but also because it made me even weaker for the soldier and the dominance he had over my body.

“C-Can I be? Please?” There was so much vulnerability in his beautiful blue eyes that the only answer I managed to give at first was the connection between our lips again, pulling him down to me so our bodies were completely glued to one another once more. My fingers buried in his locks, I pulled on them when I needed to gather some air, and finally give him an actual answer.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Hell fucking yes. We’ll be the hottest couple on Earth.” A shiver went through my body at the realization that she truly wanted this, that she truly wanted me. A sound escaped my lips before I could realize, and in fact, I only noticed it because she broke me out of my reverie by saying, “You know, everytime you whine, I have the overwhelming urge to just tie you down to this bed and give you a reason to do so.”

Shit. This woman made me weak. And the moment I lost control of my own weight, she took advantage of it, inverting our positions so she was the one on top, while managing to keep my cock nestled deep inside of her.

“Do you want to cum, sweetheart?” Hearing the filthiness that spilled out of her lips only made me hotter and hotter, my hands flying up to hold her waist as she began to ride me. “Tell me just how badly you want it. Say it, or I’ll leave you right here, right on the edge of bliss, and I’ll cum on your thigh instead.”

I heaved loudly, trying to force my own tongue to work, but the sight of her breasts bouncing with her movements was too hypnotizing. I would never regain full control of my body again, I realized, for as long as she wanted to keep me around. But instead of feeling lost, like I did when the Winter Soldier took over, all I could feel was peace.

She wanted me. She wanted my body, my soul, every part of me. Despite every missing piece, every scar. Everything anyone had ever done to me, everything I’d done to so many. And I’d gladly give it all to her, forever.

“Please, please let me cum, ma’am.” The name left my lips before I could realize, but it made her smile. And right then, I knew I’d done the right thing. Her movements picked up, her hand searching mine to guide my thumb to meet her nub, and as soon as I started rubbing it, she gasped in the most melodic of sounds.

“Cum for me, James. I wanna feel you cumming inside of me.” Jesus fucking christ. I didn’t have a choice, my body reacting to her calling like she was a siren and I was helpless. I felt helpless. It wasn’t difficult to see that I liked it, though. I liked being under her control. I liked how she pulled me apart and held me in place all at the same time.

“If you don’t take your thumb away, so help me God.” Her voice broke me out of my thoughts, realizing her chest was heaving with the effort to breathe properly now that she’d reached her climax with me. I smiled sheepishly before adjusting on the bed, right when she climbed down from my body, and a whine escaped my chest despite my better wishes, making her look at me with an amused smile.

“I’m sorry, I just… I kinda miss you already.” Her smile grew bigger, her eyes twinkling under the moonlight as she leaned over me to kiss me, and I couldn’t help it. I just had to hug her closer, have her falling on top of my chest just so I could invert our positions and kiss her some more.

“I want something that’ll show them I’m yours.” I admitted once she pulled away to gather her breath, and her eyebrows rose in surprise, but also interest, I could tell.

“Like a collar?”

“I was thinking more like a love bite, but I don’t mind.” Her giggle was the most adorable sound in the universe, I was sure of it. 

“Baby, I’ll let you fuck me in front of them, if it’ll help your insecurity,” she soothed me, and the thought of having everyone see us together, fully understand that I belonged to her, electrified me. “You’re mine now. You can be damn sure if anyone tries to flirt with you, they’ll have to deal with me. And I’ll make sure they know I’m yours and only yours if they try to chat me up.”

The thought made me smile, and I laid back on the bed and pulled her to rest against my chest, my hand instinctively coming up to play with her hair. “I can get used to that.” We stayed like that for a while, just breathing in each other’s presences, relishing in the comfortable silence between us, until I felt the need to break it.

“Can I kiss you again?” I felt her smile against my skin, before she pushed away to reach for me and connect our lips once more. God, I don’t think I’d ever get used to knowing I could have this anytime I wanted. “One more,” I begged when she pulled away, and she pretended to think for a moment before shooting me a mischievous grin. 

“Only if you come fuck me in the shower.”

The only thing I could think to say in response, as I watched her strut in the direction of the bathroom, was “Fuck, you’re sexy.”

[desertsfic]

Oh you dont have to worry i definetly didnt mean anything bad by saying she's mean! Its just a trait a lot of people portray her with and i was curious about how you personally went about building up that portrayal since you write the mean streak in your characters so (imo) lovingly and well thought out

Oh well! Thank you, I was so worried for a second there, like "oh no she's too mean oh noooo"

So! I am glad that it comes across. I think Rose has a lot of anger and frustration in relation to her circumstances and the box she is expected to fit in and I think she's a really neat character! (Edit: I had more thots so unfortunately for us I did go on a ramble and I am embarrassed so I'm putting it under a read more do not feel pressure to read... more lol)

I probably said a bunch of weird stuff in my post but I guess a lot of it relates back to like, Dirk and Rose and that desire to control a situation, and the desire to lash out when you lose that control, and simply saying "that's just how she is" feels like a cop out LOL but you know to a point I guess it is just that biting sarcasm mixed with the weird circumstances and such

I never meant for them to spend so long at the Lalondes lol can u even imagine

But Rose's situation is weird, now, and her life is weird (my fault), and I think to a point her meanness comes from that defensive edge you get when you are raised in a way that you have a hard time discerning other people's intentions towards you, the way Rose really thought everything Mom did was some kind of passive-aggressive joke, and only "forgafe" her when she started drinking as an attempt to get closer to her, and it is just. You know, tough i guess. Maybe I am projecting my frustrations for Rose and the way she is trapped by the narrative to always be the Voice of Reason and nothing more, but it is also genuinely enjoyable exploring the fact that she is like Dirk, and therefore capable of being like bro!

And of course with the alpha guardians it's a little easier to build them out using their kid counterparts as a baseline. So Alpha Rose is Rose but meaner, older, more bitter, the way adults can tend to be, sometimes without meaning to.

I think my friend asked me why she was evil and I laughed lol! She's not evil she's just. Been alone for as long as D has, and is needling and curious in the way Rose is, with that little edge of tendency to push at people's discomfort the way Dirk does with his friends, and the way Rose does too just, turned up to 11. There is a fierce protectiveness to her one and only friend, and a tendency to point out things without really caring, perhaps, if the other person's feelings get hurt because of it. She falls into the tendency to treat the Daves like her own, with no regards for their feelings, and tbh she probably enjoys it, which isn't very nice. There are several people in the run and go who are similar to bro strider in many ways, and while most of them are uncomfortable with it, I think she not only knows, but is at peace with that. In a previous life, her tendency towards calculation and separating her feelings from her goal would have been not just handy, but also necessary for survival so! That is something I like to think of while writing her and stuff.

I think if I had more time it would be interesting to explore her relationship with Roxy, but it's so odd to think about I hardly know where to start.

Anyway so sorry for the misunderstanding and also sorry-er that I went on a ramble about all that.

[spacedikut]

how to ask a girl out ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x reader

summary: elle sees an opportunity to teach spencer about asking a girl out. 3275 words

a/n: based on this scene. this is the longest fic ive ever written so sorry if it’s a painful read 

Spencer feels creepy staring at you like this.

There’s no other way to put it. He feels like he’s twelve again, the youngest in his Las Vegas high school, staring at all the pretty girls that get his heart racing just by existing. But you’re more enchanting than those girls. He could watch you do anything, he thinks, because no matter what you’re doing you look picture perfect, like you don’t have a single bad angle.

Spencer still has the social skills of twelve year old him, though. Especially when dealing with cute people.

“You know,” The voice makes Spencer jump, “If you stare long enough, she just might notice.”

Elle is smirking with her arms crossed, shooting Spencer an incriminating look. He tenses.

Seeing his discomfort, Elle relents, “I’m teasing, Reid.” He visibly relaxes against the door frame he’s half hiding behind, half leaning against.

“I’m not trying to be weird.” He mumbles. Elle thinks he sounds like a kid that was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“I know you’re not. Have you… spoken to her?”

You’re somewhat new to the unit. Some kind of assistant to JJ who joined several months ago (three months and three days, if Spencer counted correctly) (he did), which means the team don’t see you that much, just enough that you’ve been the topic of discussion a few times. It doesn’t help that JJ sings your praise, and Hotch recently revealed you made yourself available for babysitting his new-born if he ever needs it. Every time someone mentions you, it’s followed by some kind of compliment. Everyone loves you. Spencer has said all of five words to you, and he’s smitten.

“Hi. I’m Spencer. A doctor.”

When you were introduced you didn’t pay him much attention. He can’t blame you, it was overwhelming for you – being introduced to a whole bunch of FBI agents and then thrown head-first into sorting cases for them. But Spencer paid attention. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. Derek’s caught him staring one too many times, but it isn’t Spencer’s fault he can’t stop thinking about you. You enter the room and Spencer’s attention is pulled to you, like a magnet.

Derek thinks it’s time he made a move. Spencer agreed and maintained that confidence for all of fifteen minutes, until he heard your joyful laugh dance down the hallway and his tongue felt too heavy to form words.

That’s when Elle noticed.

Across the room, you’re laughing at something Derek said with JJ. Seeing you smile makes Spencer smile, and Elle nudges him.

“Have you considered approaching her? Rather than, you know, watching her from afar like she’s prey?”

Spencer huffs, “You think I haven’t tried?”

Every time he’s moved to start a conversation, he finds himself unable to complete a single sentence. After he says hello, then what? He dies?

Elle breathes through her nose in frustration. “She’s a nice girl. I’ve spoken to her a couple of times. She mentioned the other day she wants to visit the local museum, since she just moved and hasn’t really explored yet. Shame no one is available to accompany her, right?”

“Are you implying something?”

“Yes.”

“I-I don’t. I can’t-“

“You can’t or you won’t?”

Spencer’s always admired Elle’s ability to be blunt and fearless. But he isn’t Elle, Elle isn’t him, so to him it doesn’t feel like he simply chooses to pussy out of talking to you – it feels like he’s physically constrained. Like he’s fighting against the tide of the ocean to reach you, and he keeps getting pushed back, further and further away from you.

Elle’s eyes shift between you and Spencer, like she’s watching a tennis match. “Just go up and ask her. It’s that simple. If she says no, she says no. No big deal!”

Spencer shakes his head, “I can’t do that. It’s Y/N! She’s-she’s-“

“A normal human being. You know, like you and me? The second you start putting people on pedestals is when things start falling apart.” She pats him on the shoulder as encouragement, “Have some confidence, Reid.”

And she walks away, as if just telling him to have some confidence will make him suddenly have the courage to whisk you off your feet.

He wishes he could whisk you off your feet.

+++

The paperwork is never ending. Times like this, Spencer considers recanting his stance on technology – maybe having everything on an online database would be a good idea. The stacks upon stacks around him would agree.

A paper ball hits the back of Spencer’s head.

He turns, slowly, and Elle gives a wave from her desk. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Can I… help you?”

“Yes, you can.” She nods to the paper on the floor, “Read it.”

He leans and grabs the ball from the floor, opening it with furrowed brows.

Step 1: Actually talk to her.

Suddenly, Elle is standing right next to him, looking all-too-pleased with herself. She leans over him.

“What does this mean?”

“You wanna date Y/N? Talk to her. That means marching right up to her pretty little face and saying more than, like, a few words to her. You need to have a conversation with her to let her know you’re interested.”

Elle’s clearly confident in her plan, but it seems she’s forgetting an important detail – this is Spencer that she’s dealing with. Not Derek, who can charm anyone out of anything (or into anything), not Hotch who, when he wants to be, is the smoothest criminal ever. Not even Gideon, with his soft eyes that make anyone that stares into them feel safe. He’s Spencer Reid who, according to one guy, looks like a pipe cleaner with eyes.

Spencer’s hesitant to take any of Elle’s advice.

“What would I… say to her?” He asks. If he does talk to you, what does he even say? Do you even want to talk to him? What if you immediately hate him and JJ beats him up? She could do it. He’s seen her guns.

Elle looks at him incredulously, “Reid! C’mon! Anything! Ask how her day has been, if she had a good weekend, are there plans for this weekend… Literally anything.” Spencer gives a look of distrust, “You’ll know if she’s interested, trust me. She’ll reciprocate. If she doesn’t, she’s not up for it, and there’s your answer without even asking her out.”

At that moment, you and JJ appear from thin air, whispering to one another with your arms full of files. Both Spencer and Elle’s watchful gazes follow you right up until JJ’s office door is clicked shut and when you can only slightly be seen through the blinds, Spencer still stares. Elle hits him over the head.

“Pay attention!”

“She’s distracting!”

“She walked by you, not gave you a lap dance! Focus on the plan!”

With a sigh, he looks back to the crumpled paper in his hands. “What’s step two?”

The paper’s yanked out of his hands and Elle furiously scribbles something before handing it back to him.

Step 2: Make her laugh.

“I can’t do that.”

She scoffs, “Reid.”

“People laugh at me, Elle, not with me. The only way she’ll laugh is if I make a complete fool of myself and when I do that, I’m running away and never looking back. You’ll never see me again.”

Sick of the self-deprecation, Elle leans close to Spencer’s face and begins to whisper menacingly.

“Listen, bud,” She threatens, “You need to stop being so hard on yourself. You’re young, you’re inexperienced – that’s why approaching Y/N is so terrifying. Not because she’s out of your league, or you’re not good enough, it’s because you’ve never done this before. It’s simply a fear of stepping out of your comfort zone, so stop being so hard on yourself.”

Spencer isn’t sure how to respond, silently wishing something could get him out of this situation. He’s not used to being complimented so ferociously.

God answers his prayers. In the worst way possible.

“Incoming. Make her laugh, Reid.” Elle says, slinking off back to her desk.

Spencer quickly realises you’re approaching and his hands grip the armrests of his chair. He’s not ready for this. He wishes he had time to prepare, maybe google how to woo a woman, but you’re in front of him, all precious smiles with a manila folder in your hand.

“Hi, Doctor Reid.”

Your voices sounds like heaven. He can’t help but think, despite only listening to classical music, he could listen to your voice and only your voice if given the option. It’s like honey, sweet and smooth, and something inside him stirs. Everything about you is lovely.

He clears his throat and nervously wipes at his nose, “Hey. What can I do for you?”

“I was told to bring this to you,” You hand him the folder, “And JJ wanted me to check up on you. She said you’ve been working non-stop and that you probably consumed your bodyweight in coffee with enough sugar to give a small army diabetes. My guess is she wants to check your heart is still beating.”

Spencer laughs at that, which encourages you to giggle along. He freezes when he sees the way your eyes scrunch and smile widens when you laugh – he’d only seen it from a distance, up close it feels intimate and causes his throat to tighten. When your laughter dies, you’re left with an awkward silence as he stares. You shuffle your feet.

Elle is trying to look like she isn’t paying attention, but in her head she’s screaming at Spencer to say something!!!

“Sorry for disturbing you if you’re – um – if you’re busy.” You gesture to the mess on Spencer’s desk, and it’s then that he realises how his silence could’ve looked – to him, you quite literally took his breath away, but to you? He’s a weirdo that is still holding the file mid-air and hasn’t said a thing for far too long.

“No! No,” Spencer brushes his hair back, “Thank you for the file. JJ’s right, I should probably take a break-“

He looks up then. This is his chance, right?

“Are you busy right now?”

You glance around and your eyes find JJ’s office, where she’s signalling for you to come over, “Yeah. Sorry.”

It feels like a punch in the gut – is this rejection? – but there’s a look of sadness that crosses your face. Your mouth falls at the edges and your brows slightly crease – do you wish you weren’t busy?

If Spencer didn’t feel like he’s seconds away from vomiting, he’d ask. Maybe. That sounds a whole lot like flirting and he isn’t sure he can handle that.

You quickly leave, not before you tell him to look after himself (his heart swells), and the second you’re far enough away Elle is marching right over and throwing the paper at him, again, even though she’s standing right in front of him.

“She rejected me.”

“Yea- wait, what?” Elle starts to celebrate, but stops at her words, “No she didn’t. Did we see different things?”

“It sure felt like rejection. Felt weird.”

“That was the perfect chance to ask her to go out after work or maybe on the weekend, but, in your defence, that’s a Derek-level response and we’re not quite there yet. Step three, go.”

Spencer unfolds the paper ball begrudgingly, wondering if any of this is actually worth it.

Step 3: Get JJ to back the fuck up.

Spencer laughs.

“Either you tell JJ you like her assistant and ask for her help, or you tell JJ you like her assistant and that she needs to stop using her so much.” Elle sounds matter-of-fact and confident.

“You want me to tell JJ to stop giving her assistant work?” Spencer asks, face scrunched.

With a shrug, Elle says, “Or you could ask her to help you. She knows the most about Y/N.”

Looking up to JJ’s office, he realises how true Elle’s statement is. JJ knows you better than anyone else here, you’ve quickly become good friends, and JJ wouldn’t lie to Spencer about you if it involved his feelings. He trusts JJ like that.

But then you throw your head back in laughter, a hearty laugh that JJ follows with her own tinkling chuckle, and Spencer is reminded of the sinking feeling he’s had when he’s been rejected before. The emotional slap in the face that causes you to lose all confidence. In his head, he rationalises that attempting to ask you out is pointless. You won’t like him, scrawny profiler who follows his team members like a lost puppy, the guy unable to maintain eye contact for more than four seconds. The logical side, however, the side that runs the show when Spencer is on a case and hides his feelings, tells him he has nothing to lose. Morgan would be proud of him, not ashamed, because Spencer had the guts to ask someone out – Spencer! Elle would understand and tell him something about learning for next time, and the rest of the team wouldn’t really care.

He has nothing to lose and everything to gain. A date with you? A relationship with you? That’d feel like winning the lottery. It feels more likely than winning the lottery, too.

Then Morgan walks past him, more like swaggers, all good looks and charm and everything Spencer doesn’t have.

Spencer decides he’ll save himself the rejection.

+++

JJ gets involved without Spencer realising. He connects the dots on the way back to Virginia, after a case in which you were brought along instead of JJ.

There was a “family emergency”, apparently, after the debrief and right before take-off. Although it wasn’t your first case, it was your first time travelling with the team. When you pad in, sparkling eyes gliding all around the jet, Spencer zeroes in on the gruesome scene photos to avoid being caught staring.

You fit into the role flawlessly. It’s like you were born for the part, effortlessly slipping into the job of communicator between the team and the police force, standing fearlessly in front of the press as they piled on the pressure.

In the conference room where the team set up, he noticed you actively try to stay out of the way whilst simultaneously help in any way you could. You offered coffee every two hours (Spencer counted), cleaned up any and all rubbish the team left around – burger wrappers, useless post-it notes – and mothered the team by reminding them they need breaks, too.

At the hotel, you jokingly poked Spencer in the shoulder and said, “No more coffee for you. You’ll get a sugar rush and won’t be able to sleep.”

“Like a toddler?”

“Exactly like a toddler. Straight to bed for you.”

You grinned at eachother before you separated to go to your rooms. Around three am, Spencer instinctively went to make himself a drink but stopped and thought of you. He decided for that night, just that night, he could get a somewhat decent amount of sleep.

Now, on the flight home, Gideon pauses before his move in their third game of chess to stare at something behind Spencer’s shoulder. When he notices, Spencer turns to see what has his mentor’s attention and stutters when it’s you. You, looking like you’re straight out of a cheesy romance movie when you push your hair back while reading your book.

Gideon switches from staring at you to staring at Spencer.

“She’s a pretty girl, huh?”

Spencer knows where this is going.

“Elle told me you’re sweet on her.”

“Elle shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Elle has been watching you two the entire case.”

“Elle-“

Gideon clears his throat, making Spencer finally make eye contact, “You scared? Worried?”

“About what?” Spencer asks.

“Rejection. If she’ll laugh in your face, say something about never wanting anyone like you.”

Sometimes, Spencer is terrified of Gideon’s ability to read people. He swears he has this inhuman ability to take a peek into people’s minds, read their most intrusive and negative thoughts, and confront them about them. Like he’s doing to Spencer now.

“Something like that, yeah,” Spencer murmurs. He shuffles uncomfortably in his seat, “It’s your move.”

“I know.” Gideon nods to you, making Spencer look again, “Don’t you think, in twenty years’ time, you’d want to look back at this moment and be glad you asked? No matter the outcome? Rather than wondering if she’d said yes, asking all kinds of what-ifs…”

“You’re telling me to ask her out?”

Gideon gives Spencer a smile that fills him with confidence. He doesn’t know what it is, but he trusts Gideon with his whole life. If he tells him to go for it, then he should go for it, right?

“I happen to know the Virginia museum is having a deal on tickets if you order them online. Might be something to look into.” He sounds borderline smug now.

With one last look to Gideon, he stands and slowly waddles to the chair opposite you.

“Mind if I sit?” He asks, a hand gently resting on the back of the empty seat. You startle slightly at the unexpected voice, but gesture for him to sit with a smile.

“How are you feeling?” You wonder, squinting slightly as the sun shines in your eyes. It makes them sparkle, and Spencer has never understood wanting to drown in someone’s eyes until that moment.

“Just glad the case is over. You did a great job, by the way, filling in for JJ last minute.” Spencer is surprised that his voice doesn’t crack or stop completely.

You beam at the praise, “Thank you. JJ’s got some big boots to fill, even if it’s for one case.”

He shrugs and pulls a face as if you’ve said something ridiculous, “Don’t sell yourself short. When she realises how good you are, she’ll start taking all kinds of holidays.” He jokes.

He can��t help but grin when you laugh.

Elle passes. In the very brief eye contact they make, Elle’s eyes are wide and jumping from you to Spencer, Spencer to you. She’s sending him a message, and he bets Gideon is watching, too.

“Hey,” He starts, leaning on the table between you. You instinctively lean closer, too, which Spencer takes as a positive sign, “How would you.. like…”

He has to take a second to inhale a shaky breath and nervously push his hair behind his ears. You wait, all patient and divine, and his eyes dash around your face.

“To go to the museum with me?”

It comes out rushed and you look confused. “Huh?”

Spencer tries again, after clearing his throat, “How would you like to go to the museum with me? When we get back. As a date.”

“You’re asking me on a date?”

“…Yes?”

If you weren’t staring directly at him, he’d think you were making fun of him and about to unleash a nice bout of rejection.

You move one hand to lean your face against, moving in a little closer, “I would love that.”

Spencer is speechless. You would love that?

“Oh- wow. Yeah, thanks. Good.”

Who says thanks when someone agrees to go on a date with them?

You giggle.

“We’ll plan when we get back?” You ask.

“Yes. Definitely.” He nods three times.

You can’t help but bite your lip, he’s too cute, and it immediately draws Spencer’s attention.

Behind you both, Gideon turns to Elle. “Success.”

Elle rolls her head against the back of her seat and stares out the window, “Step four: Get Gideon to get the job done.”

[tipsydipsydo]

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 1.6k 

Rating: 16+

Genre: Fluff; Smut

AU: non-idol! AU; established relationship AU!

Warnings: soft (!) Dirty Talk; sweetest Taehyung alive; virgin! Reader; Petnames; both of them getting turned on by a sex-scene in a movie; talk about sexual fantasies; mentions of oral (female receiving); mentions of vaginal intercourse; slight talk about boundaries 

Summary: It’s Sunday afternoon and Taehyung and you are watching a romantic historical movie for your quality cuddle time. This movie also includes a sensual & erotic scene which has some kind of effect on both of you. It leads to a talk where Taehyung tells you his dreams and fantasies, what he wants to do with you, whenever you feel ready for this step...

A/N: I think all of you already know that it can take me months until I finish somebody’s birthday present... here you go, my lovely @hantaev​! It turned a little different out than I thought it would but I hope that you like it!! Love you 💕 Status: unedited

Movie Source:

A little Chaos - Trailer 

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「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

It is a lazy Sunday afternoon, where Taehyung and you decided to watch a movie and cuddle under the mountains of pillows and blankets you hoard in your room, preferably on your bed. Your boyfriend knows that you have a weak spot for everything that takes place in a historical era and includes a more or less dramatic and cheesy lovestory. He doesn’t mind, he loves to see your beautiful face lighten up when he mentions that he found a new movie of Netflix which might raise your interest and you get all exited about it, to watch it here and now.  

For today you both choose the movie “A little chaos” for your weekly couple cuddle time and you enjoy it a lot. The love story, the historical background, the beautiful ball gowns and all of that in the warm arms of Taehyung. It’s simply a perfect afternoon and you couldn’t be happier in this moment. 

The sweet and innocent kisses and touches you shared with each other beforehand, pauses in the moment where the two main protagonists, André and Sabine, gets closer to each other... very close, uhm, up to the point where they begin to undress their lover. Your breath quicken when you feel how Taehyung’s arms pull you tighter against his broad chest. You’re so close to his heart now, you can listen to the rapid beats, faster than usually and you can sense that he got a little nervous by the scenery on the screen as well. His hands still rest well-mannered and behaved on your covered stomach, even though you can almost feel his hesistance to tell you something. 

You get pulled out of your stream of thoughts when soft moans finds their way out of the television speakers and fills the silent room with arousing noises. You gulp harshly and without noticing it by yourself, you rub your thighs together to ease the almost painful ache between your legs. This sweet, nowadays pretty simple lovemaking scene is doing something to your untouched body. You’re still a virgin and didn’t even touched yourself ‘properly enough’ to call it masturbation. You don’t know why it happens to be like that... it just happens? It’s not like you didn’t want to touch yourself because of other reasons, you simply never ‘desired’ to do it. Maybe just until now... now you feel an urge you’ve never felt before and you don’t know to handle it.

Taehyung knows all of that and actually encourage you to take your time until you are ready, he doesn’t want to push you in any way. Actually, he always tell you that you make the rules about your body, your sexuality and your individual experiences and make sure that you don’t feel insecure or pressed by society why you don’t have certain experiences yet, especially according to your age. That’s the reason he makes you feel so comfortable and safe, he always makes sure that you’re fine with every step you both make together in your relationship, your shared adventure. He always asks for your consent, even when it’s just a simple kiss. You love that about him, how gentle and attentive he is, sensing discomfort before you realize you weren’t 100% sure about his suggested step. Endless patience, never getting mad at you when you need more time for the next step than most other peoples. God, you love him so, so much! 

Taehyung reaches out for the Remote Control of the TV to lower the volume a little bit. The rest of the movie and what’s happening after the lovemaking scene blurries into each other, your thoughts can’t focus on the movie anymore, so it doesn’t bothers you.

“Baby... I hope it’s not intruding your personal space if I tell you... if I tell you that I’d cherish your body, when the time has come that you’d be ready for that step... just like André did to Sabine’s. Are you... are you comfortable if I tell you some of my fantasies I have... how I plan to make your first time beautiful and comfortable for you?”, Taehyung rasps mit your ear. His voice dropped significantly a few octaves, giving you the hint that he got the same feeling by watching this erotic and sensual scene just like you. 

A small hum leaves you throat, followed by a soft spoken “Yes”. You bite your lower lip, you’re terribly curious and exited to hear what he has planned for that special moment. 

With your verbal consent, Taehyung continues: “I thought often about how I could make this moment as enjoyable as possible for you... I dreamed about how I’d scatter countless kisses all over your gorgeous body, whispering praises into your ear, telling you how flawless and stunning you look... like my personal incarnate goddess. I know, I’ve never seen you naked before but I can guess that your body will be as beautiful as your wonderful soul. I want to explore you with all my senses. I want to kiss you... I want to taste you. I would love to feel your soft skin underneath my lips and my tongue, pleasing your sensitive spots with kisses, licks and sucks... To make your nipples oversensitive with my mouth before I leave a trail of kisses down your soft belly and go down on you... I hope you don’t mind if I tell you how often I thought about to eat you out, to settle between your soft thighs and please you with my tongue.” 

He pauses for a moment, waiting for your consent to carry on with his monologue. You nod slightly, a quiet “Please tell me more...” leaves your lips. 

“... I want to feel your body. Against my body and underneath my fingertips, admiring your beauty and pleasing you with my digits. I want to see your face twisting in pleasure... I want to treat you so good until you fall apart, so I can catch you when you come down from your high. I want to smell your body. You always smell so good and want to bury my nose in the crook of your neck, into your hair and moan into your ear when we connected our bodies, when I am inside of you... feeling you so snug and tightly wrapped around my length. I hope the fantasies of my daydreams meet your own expectations...”

Taehyung sighs deeply after he drew this images on both of your mind. You think, that his voice just dropped even lower while talking and he can’t deny it, it’s drenched in arousal. But there is no longing, no pressure, no intrusive thought to push you indirectly through this talk to let it finally happen. He is just talking about his fantasies but it’s ‘timeless’, he don’t care if you want to take the next step today or next week or in six months. You realize, you both took a new step, at least somehow. You’re talking about your sexual fantasies but without any expectations that it has to happen anytime soon. 

“...Taehyung?”, you ask with a slightly trembling voice, gnawing on your lower lip. Yes, his spoken words did definitely something to you. Something that you didn’t felt until now and it urges you to take care of. Your body feels so, so hot and the feeling in the pit of your stomach drives you almost insane. Well, you may never have experienced it by yourself yet but you can guess that it’s sexual desire. Also, you know that Taehyung would never take advantage of your inexperience, that’s the reason why you feel so safe in his arms even when your body reactions confuses you a lot. 

“Yes, Honey?”

“...would you... would you mind if we take a new step today... now?”, you ask softly, a little nevousness makes your voice slightly tremble. 

“What kind of new step, Baby?”, Taehyung asks you gently and turn you around, so you can face him. You smile shyly, wetting you’re lips more often as usual and make them look so terribly kissable. 

“Maybe... maybe exploring each other’s body? Only if you want to of course! Maybe undressing each other and feeling the soft skin of the other one underneath our palms... Kissing other body parts than just the lips... making each other feel really good. I- uhm.. right now my body feels like it’s burning inside out and I think only you can take care of it properly... and maybe teach me how I can take care of it in the future as well...”, you mumble, almost wispering it into his ear. 

“...that sounds amazing... are you sure you want this? It wasn’t my intention to cause this to happen when I told you that... you don’t owe me anything, Baby. You know that right?”, he wispers in his hoarse voice back, cupping your face in his hands and looking into your eyes with pure honesty. 

“I know that, Taehyung. I know that you wouldn’t take any advantage of me. I am very thankful for that, really. But I am more than sure that I am ready to go a step further... together with you and your help.” 

“Oh Baby... anything for you. Tell me what you want me to do for you.”

[bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus]

Werewolves and an interesting thought that came into my head

You know I always have to begin by saying that these are just thoughts- they're not thoughts aimed to hurt anyone! I'm not here to dismantle anyone's beliefs, I'm just here to spew out my little inner ramblings.

So, werewolves... ah yes, those guys.

While I'm scribbling away on my google doc about my grand plans for this stupid story I'm working on, a thought comes into my head: "why are male werewolves so predominant in mythology?"

So, I do a bit of digging...

You see, the word 'werewolf', as we probably all know, comes from Old English, but what I think is sometimes ignored is the fact that 'were' stems from 'wir' which means 'man'. As modern English speakers, we're used to 'man' and 'human' being used interchangeably, removed from gender, but 'wir' doesn't mean 'man' like that. It means 'male human'. 'Werewolf' is technically 'male-human-wolf'. **

Werewolves are male in nature, and this is rare. It's rare because when monsters are gendered, they're typically female. Think gorgons, sirens, harpies, succubi, banshees, slit-mouthed women, manananggal and so on. Yes, there are of course male monsters, but what's special about female monsters is that their femininity is particularly tied to their monstrosity- especially when we're looking at the backdrop of European lore which the werewolf makes its home in (think witches and their relationship with femininity and womanhood). Werewolves are unique in that their masculinity can be tied to their monstrosity.

What can you do with this information? Well, a lot. I think what's interesting is that werewolves, particularly in western Europe, were feared, hated and looked upon with the same amount of scorn one would look upon with a witch. Heck! There were even trials held for werewolves during the famous witch-hunts! That's interesting because a werewolf is still tragic, much unlike the witch, who was seen as getting what she deserved. And yet, the werewolf was still hated.

There's a struggle there. Mythology is really not known for its consistency and no better example of that is the treatment of the werewolf. Looking through the lens of a patriarchal storyteller, the werewolf is something which is feared and sympathised with. Because you can't deny its savage nature but you want to. You want to forget the violence, the anger, the hatred this beast is capable of, because it frightens you. Because you too can be that beast. You can "give in".

Werewolves have always had a relationship with masculinty. The constant discussion of violence and manhood can be linked to this monster. And, personally, I think there's a lot of room here for creative potential. We've seen how the werewolf can be used to illustrate body horror and its relationship with female adolescence (a.k.a Ginger Snaps, an amazing film) but I really don't see much about werewolves and what they can be done with men, and men's own relationships with themselves, be it their current or adolescent manhoods. There's been a lot of male werewolf protagonists but the werewolf has been used in other ways symbolically, but not as a symbol of something within the realms of masculinity. I think the subject should be approached tentatively and with care, as with most subjects regarding gender, but yeah, I really want to see this aspect of lycanthropy explored.

There's room for real horror here, real tragedy and also discomfort. Maybe werewolves are that repressed, unanimous truth we've been refusing acknowledge out of fear (I'm looking at you, Lord of the Flies) or maybe werewolves are a cry for help?

Anyways, that's all for today, folks!

** By this logic, female werewolves technically should be called 'wifwolves', stemming from the Old English word 'wif' which, you guessed it, means 'woman' and is also where we get the word 'woman' from, along with 'wife' and 'midwifery' :).

P.S. No idea why, but this thought like resurrected itself from the back of my mind whilst I'm watching that "Xolo Marideuña trying snacks" video by the channel that does Hot Ones. Absolutely irrelevant but a fun fact nonetheless.

[bsaka7]

ngl I would be super interested in a fic/your thoughts on like an established Max/Dan relationship (RBR era or later) where like Daniel is just kind loud. And violent (putting his fist through a wall, yelling) but like not to Max. And he doesn’t realize it bothers Max (Max doesn’t really realize/understand it Bothers Max) because Max is used to it (insert once you have one violent man in your life (his father) all the men in your life will be violent quote here). And it isn’t until one day where someone else reacts negatively to Daniel kind of losing it that he realizes exactly what his behavior is, and how it could be effecting Max. And Dan Loves Max. Like that was never anything Daniel second-guessed but now it’s just “does Max want to be here/is he afraid of me/Is he making himself smaller (off the track) because of me?”. But like Max won’t talk about it, so it’s really from Daniel’s pov? Like him trying to get his head on right try to make their relationship, which was a little unhealthy, better. I don’t really know where I’m going with this but like kind of the sad vibes of the cheating fic but with ultimately a happier ending because Daniel fixes himself.

if you’re raised with an angry man in your house,

there will always be an angry man in your house.

you will find him even when he is not there.

and if one day you find that there is

no angry man in your house—

well, you will go find one and invite him in (catherine lacey in "cut")

oh this is SUCH a good ask thank you so much!!!! i think you are SO right that this is something that NEEEEEEEDS to be explored!!!!! and you are SPOT ON with so much here...i talked about this with milo @freepractice who is SO smart and a lot of this is them its just me typing it up. under the cut

i guess starting us off, the question for me is like, what is the catalyst for daniel to change his thinking like that right. because as we know he like - questions his own anger and angry impulses. as you said, daniel doesn't realize the impact of his own movements, and i think he has both the sort of dialetical need/clarity about his own violent actions. i think a lot of the question, tension, etc here is in the perspective. like. daniel does [whatever] and it's unthinking and if he feels like he goes too far he apologizes and reframes and max. writes it out writes it off if they talk about it.

for me i think maybe, loosely in 2018, the catalyst is like. daniel overhears a conversation between max and his dad and jos says something and max responds and daniel recognizes the words and he recognizes the tone and he thinks. that's something that max has said to me. you sort of have this. stitching together of the dots. max tells a story that he thinks is funny but daniel thinks is fucked up (he laughs anyway). daniel hears max talking to jos and jos says something to max like, you could have been better on turn seven and you lost ground to charles - you look like you're going to cry. really? this is what moving out does to you? can't even talk about your race. and max responds with something like. it's fine. i'm not a girl (derisive). and daniel has heard those exact words out of him during a fight. same tone. same everything.

and i think after this, at some point, daniel mentions something about the whole deal to an engineer he knows on max's side of the garage like. offhand about jos. and the engineer is like. "yeah. i mean. a lot of people have dad's like that isn't it a shame. the difference is max made it . (shakes his head) sometimes i think he thinks he wouldn't have made it here without jos, acting like that. anyway its none of my business." and daniel is like, quiet for a minute and he says. yeah. thanks.

daniel was asking about jos and he was asking about himself, all wrapped up in one. this whole thing implicates daniel in his own mind in a way that discomforts him and is in a way he can't escape. at the same time - daniel is too afraid of his own image, of himself, of what max would say, to go ask max about it or to ask the engineer about what he sees in daniel's relationship with max. he wouldn't ask and max wouldn't answer. daniel always thought that max WOULD stand up for himself and fight back and say something if daniel went too far, or freaked him out, or anything like that but he realizes that but max doesn't know what too far is. max argues but he wouldn't - see anything wrong.

i think, here, in this time, it falls apart but in the sake of my own sanity, i think they fall back together. they have a few more fights, and daniel reflects, on how they fight, and how he feels, and what max says. and eventually, eventually, he goes to therapy. daniel, obviously, is cognizant of his anger and how he is angry but it's a process away from the reactions he has, instinctively, allowably. i think you're right that there could be a hopeful ending here. like daniel goes to therapy. daniel comes back to max, eventually. daniel apologizes, and he thinks max has to see what was wrong for himself - with daniel, with his dad - but he doesn't. and daniel IS the one to carry the weight of his own wrongdoing. max can see the difference between daniel now and daniel then but he doesn't necessarily recognize it for what it is. i think, compared to the cheating fic, in that fic, max carried the weight of everything that happened with him. in this fic, daniel carries it. max doesn't want to talk about it. max is relieved that its better and that they're older and that it's better. but to really think about how he felt about daniel, at the beginning, he has to think about how he reacted to jos, and i think that's something that couldn't happen until he's out of racing, and even then - what's the point! what's done is done. what's done is done! but it's better. it has to be better.

[jojotichakorn]

my thoughts and opinions on "lovely writer": criticizing the critic

tw for discussions of age gaps, rape, and sex

before i turn into the mean and constantly dissatisfied archer that we all know and hate, i just want to say that i liked this show. i think it's great, actually! gene and sib are appropriately cute, the premise is nice, and the attempt at criticizing the industry is... well, an attempt, which is better than nothing. moreover, "lovely writer" came with gifts because it gave me my new favorite character, so you can't go telling me i'm trying to completely obliterate it or something.

besides, this specific post isn't going to get into analyzing the show as a whole anyway. i won't be talking about any irrelevant plot points, cinematography, sound design, or anything like that, though i could probably write a post just as long as this one about that side of things as well. however, i am here to specifically look at the problematic things that were both criticized by the show and included in the show without any criticism. i'm going to talk about the more serious side of things here, which means i'm going to get serious. and i'm going to be harsh. very harsh.

gene and nubsib: yes's and no's

overall, the relationship between gene and sib was a fair attempt at showing something complex, yet ultimately quite healthy, which i appreciate. there were some things i was especially glad about. the fact that sib dated other people before settling on getting together with gene, for example, makes the whole situation a little less codependent. however, as much as this show prides itself on not wanting to romanticize problematic relationships, there are at least two major problems with genesib.

the age gap (and why it was not needed)

i've tried my very best to give this entire concept the benefit of the doubt. at first, i was convincing myself that they were simply close childhood friends, then i was trying my best to believe that even though sib did have a sort of crush on gene (which sometimes happens to little children), gene only saw him as his younger brother, but eventually, the show gave me no choice, but to deem the entire storyline problematic, because they did their best to romanticize that relationship - from gene's dad seeing the "early signs" to the counting and kissing the cheek turning to counting and full-on lip-locking in the last episode.

i could go into how this could all easily be mended if little sib was shown as kind of obsessed with his older friend, but gene was shown as not being anywhere near interested in the kid. but the real question is - why was the age gap needed at all?

i've researched the age of the boys during the flashbacks to the best of my ability and it seems that gene is 11 and sib is 6 or 7. if sib was the same age as gene (or maybe just one year younger, but not any more than that), not only would none of it feel weird, it would also be quite appropriate to explore that first glimpse of romantic feelings some of us experience exactly around that age. i don't think it's necessary for sib to be much younger than gene (children can be just as impressionable at 11 as they are at 7, and as for gene being surprisingly nice and helpful and the other kids not wanting to play with sib, he could have easily been - for example - bullied by his peers instead, which would have the same effect).

moving forward to the present, i don't think the lack of an age gap would affect the storyline that much either. even if they desperately needed sib to be a university student, they could have that one-year difference i've talked about before, which is not as significant. sib could be in his last year of uni, while gene could have easily written his very first novel during his university years, which would actually make more sense (since that guaranteed him employment and freedom to write after he finished uni; and i would rather believe that he had time to write his first novel in-between classes than in-between shifts at work, which he would surely need to have if he started writing after finishing university).

so that brings me back to my initial question - why was it needed? and much like the show often does, i will leave this one up for your interpretation because i do not have any sensible answers myself.

the issue with sex and consent

"but archer!" - i hear you exclaim - "lovely writer is known for explicitly denouncing rape romanticization in bls, how could there possibly be any problems with consent here?" and i hear you, my dear reader. and you aren't incorrect, "lovely writer" is indeed very explicit at calling out bls for having rape scenes (and i do appreciate that). however, as i'm sure you know, there are different ways in which consent can be taken from a person, and there are different non-consensual acts that someone might perform. for example, there are many different forms of coercion, such as the person being persuaded until they feel like they have no other choice, but to say yes. touching someone or kissing someone without asking for permission are also non-consensual acts. i can go on and on, there are many examples outside of what so many people consider rape.

now, what if i tell you that though there (thank the gods) has been no rape present in "lovely writer", not all scenes with gene and sib are consensual? well, that's what i'm telling you because it's the truth. both the first kissing scene and the scene where gene and sib "try out different poses" have clear coercion in them. the entire "joke" of the scene before gene and sib's first time is literally built upon the concept of "a person is trying to run away from someone, who wants to have sex with them" and it is NOT funny. the later reveal of gene actually looking up how to have sex seems to be there on purpose, to show that everything that's happened is "ok" because gene was thinking about it. as a sensible person, i will only accept actual enthusiastic consent and not someone possibly maybe probably considering it. not to mention that right before having sex, sib asks gene one last time if he is sure, which is great, except it is immediately followed by "i'm not going to let you change your mind anymore", which - daily reminder - you are allowed to stop having sex at any point during the act if you start feeling uncomfortable with it. that's absolutely normal.

now the problem that we seem to run into here is that "lovely writer" appears to think that it's ok to push someone to the limit until they either finally agree or confidently and loudly disagree. the drama has repeatedly shown us that actually forcing someone to have sex is not ok; however, persuading and otherwise coercing someone, as well as taking an approximate guess of them wanting to have sex based on some marginally related factors, is ok. i would like to once again remind everyone that all of that is not ok.

one more issue i want to bring up in connection with sex is something i wish was common knowledge: it is NOT supposed to hurt during your first time. whether you are planning to have vaginal or anal sex for the first time, it should not hurt. and if it does, something has definitely gone wrong and you need to stop. you are not supposed to experience any pain or discomfort during sex, including your first time (outside of desired and therefore intentionally inflicted pain, but that's not what i'm talking about here). i have seen this misconception brought up many times in bls along with the other person "thanking the person who got hurt for bearing the pain to bring them pleasure" and absolutely none of that is normal. stop. please, just... stop.

criticism of the BL industry

there are certainly quite a few things i liked about the way "lovely writer" criticized the many problems that surround bls. i think they dealt especially well with the fan aspect. the breaches of privacy that are considered normal, the toxicity of social media that encourages people to comment on other people's personal life, harass and stalk them - all of that was shown in its full glory (or rather horror) and clearly condemned. it was also interesting to see how easily everyone around sib fell into the routine of having to hide genesib's relationship, just because "that's what's supposed to be done in these situations" - even tum did that without thinking twice.

however, i have not spent the past three years hating gmm for a show trying to criticize the industry not to focus on criticizing the production company and everyone professionally involved with the making of bls. don't get me wrong - they didn't completely overlook that side of things, but i found the way they approached it dissatisfying.

like yes, tum fights with his sister (aka sib's manager) and calls her out for her terrible actions, and the publisher (bua) eventually apologizes for what she did, but all of that feels a bit too... personal. i do not care about these individual stories. i care about you saying that the whole system is broken because it very much is. i wanted manner of death but with the bl industry, and instead, i got an "uwu the fans are demanding we do this, and our hands our tied" (which is a lie) and "uwu i'm just trying to make money" (which i mean... if you feel ok milking even more money than you already have by doing something unethical and immoral, then be my guest, but also go fuck yourself). besides that, i didn't see any criticism of tabloids or exploitative celebrities either (both of which we had examples of in the show), and that was kind of disappointing.

coming back to the fans for a moment, i also think that the criticism of real people shipping was entirely unsuccessful. we basically mostly got an "oh, what if this person's partner thinks they are actually dating", which... if a bunch of people on the internet who do not know your boyfriend personally and make all their judgments from screenshots and their imagination can convince you that your boyfriend is cheating, i've got some bad news for you and also a number for a therapist. partly i know why it was so complicated for them to get into it properly - the issue with real people shipping is an issue of privacy, boundaries, the perception of celebrities, acceptable interests, and many other complex topics. however, it's better to not criticize something than to criticize it badly and inaccurately (because the latter usually leads to even more encouragement of whatever you were attempting to criticize).

aey: the flamboyant villain

aey certainly starts as a promisingly complex character, but the farther we go from his backstory and his family, the less complex and the more evil he gets. eventually, the trauma he goes through is no longer enough to give him a get-out-of-jail-free card, and he loses all remaining sympathy after sexually harassing gene and pretending to drug sib. and i did start this post by saying that i am not to analyze any plot points or characters from the show here; however, i'm saying all this to prove a point that aey is a clear villain in the show. this is further cemented by the fact that by the end of the show he loses the only two people who cared about him, and the very last moment with him in the show is literally just him crying for about 3 minutes. there was no redemption arc, no pity, no revenge - he was left alone and broken, clearly punished by the narrative. and i've got a bone to pick here as well.

one of the first things that we find out about aey is that he is gay, and quite openly so. he is repeatedly described as very feminine by many characters, he flirts with men, he talks about being good in bed, and his entire character is built upon being gay (half of it directly, and the other half due to the fact that his entire backstory and therefore personality is also built upon the fact that he is gay). he is - for the lack of a better term - the gayest character in the show and the only one who is loud about being gay not because he is in love but simply because it is a part of him and he doesn't want to hide it. and he is the villain. not the disgusting publisher or the terrible manager - no, this guy was specifically chosen to ruin everyone's lives. and i can't say i'm particularly happy about that. *british voice* seems a bit homophobic love

not quite queer enough

as i said, aey is openly gay. gene and sib also eventually say that they are gay, gene's father teep is queer, so are tiffy and mhok. but it just doesn't seem to come up as much as it would in real life. the only time anyone has a problem with any of the characters being queer is when we deal with the parents. but knowing actual queer thai actors in real life, we are all aware how hard it can be for them, but it has not come up even once for aey, gene or sib (with genesib only being a problem because they are a "non-shippable couple"). being queer is far from being a non-issue in the industry, and i found it incredibly weird that it was never brought up (and i would also prefer if they brought that up instead of showing the unaccepting parents plot for the millionth time).

same goes for the lack of conversation around queer people on set. i think we all have a wonderful example of how much better a bl can get simply when it involves a queer director and/or screenwriter (gods bless p'aof), gay actors, etc. i also thought it was a missed opportunity that gene being a gay man writing a bl novel was never highlighted. if anything, everyone made a big deal out of him being a man writing a bl - never mind that he is a gay man that is far more qualified to write bls than a straight woman.

in conclusion, there are simply not enough queer issues talked about here for a show that is about queer people facing difficulties while making a queer drama.

tiffy and tum: the good, the bad, and the ugly

overall, tiffy and tum are quite cool. outside of my own personal feelings, i really liked the clear reversal of gender roles they have going on: he knows lots about make-up, she knows nothing about it, he knows how to sew, she knows how to repair a car, etc.

tiffy is also a nice addition to the precious few queer girls we have in bls. however, the way her being bi is executed... it isn't great. when she first talks about dating girls to tum, she says things like "even though i look like this" (implying queer girls have a certain look?) and "maybe it seemed normal because i was at an all-girls school" (which wtf does that even mean?). i think the worst thing, though, was when she assumed tum was gay. my best guess is she thought so because she initially thought that tum and gene were a couple; however, she should be the first person to know that just because he likes men, it doesn't mean that he doesn't like women or any other gender. even though there was nothing explicitly leading me to make this conclusion, this whole thing did kind of feel like the old "flipping the switch" stereotype (meaning, she used to like women, but now she likes men, and both of them can't happen simultaneously).

make it make sense

i think i've never been more confused in my entire life than when i found out that the director of "lovely writer" also happens to be the director of "th*arnt*pe". and if at first, i was asking a lot of questions about this peculiar individual, who went from working on the worst rape-romanticizing show we have ever had to a show that explicitly states that rape is not normal. but the more i thought about it, the less i was interested in him, and the more i was interested in whoever made the decision to hire him. there are dozens of different directors that have worked specifically on bls, and even more that haven't. yet out of all those, you decided to choose this one. the dude, who before your show has only directed the show with the biggest rape-y vibes. that casts a particular kind of shade on the entire show that i simply do not like.

conclusion

at the end of the day, i think what "lovely writer" tried to do was very interesting. it succeeded in some ways and failed in others. frankly, i think this show could have easily been made better if someone queer was involved in making it. that's always true, but especially so, when we try to talk about the issues of making a queer drama. either way, it's certainly a good start to this conversation; however - as i said - i'm still waiting for my manner of death but with the bl industry. this was unfortunately not it.

[ladyeliot]

The September Foundation Grant

Request: @iawaythrown Avengers x Teen reader. The reader is a brilliant engineer, that makes (grade A+) battle armor & weapons. The Vulture and the reader works together by selling these illegal armor & weapons. (The Vulture even gives the reader profit because the reader lives alone) The reader learns at school (The R is the quiet/loner kid) about Vulture getting arrested and they soon decide to leave New York and disappear. They grab all their money and leave but is followed/arrested by Tony and Peter at the reader house. They learn that the Vulture snitched on him. Ending could be up to you.

Pairing: Vulture / Iron Man / Spider-man x Teen!Reader

Warnings: Illegal work.

Word count: 1829

A/N:  Sorry it took so long! / Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Anything could happen in New York City. A place that never slept, that was always awake at all hours, where criminals and children went everywhere hand in hand. Everything was hidden, but also in plain sight, if you knew where to look. Its streets were a labyrinth, but they always led to a way out, everything had an end. Its neighbourhoods were small communities distributed by culture or social status, but that did not prevent them from relating to each other. A teenager raised in Queens might have different limitations than one raised in the Upper East Side, but it all depends on the person. What I mean is, you never know what your life is going to be like in New York City.

Your mind was in constant operation, even if you wanted it to, it never stopped, it never rested, in a millisecond the thought passed through it 'when was the last time I slept'. You were in a hangar near the Harlem docks, this lucrative activity occupied a large part of your free time after high school, taking up your weekends as well. You could call it 'extracurricular activity' or also 'gainful employment', or maybe a combination of both, after all you were improving your engineering skills and earning money for it.

You had been enrolled in that new business for more than five months, your expectations for the future had changed, now you weren't so sure if going to university was what you really wanted. You were not driven by the easy money, what you were doing was much more than that, it was money, knowledge and all the adrenaline possible to do something legally binding. All the talent that you thought would be wasted and that you had never been valued was now being used to do something else, to be someone in the world, even if it was in the hidden world.

You designed, created and crafted technologically advanced combat armour and weaponry, you built things you hardly thought you would be able to make. All you needed was the time and the facilities that Adrian Toomes had offered you. He discovered you, he had set his sights on you and trusted you, something that many other people had not done before. In your past years you dreamed of getting a position at MIT, but now it was no longer among your priorities, at least for the time being.

Adrian's discovery came about in the most natural way possible. You were attending Midtown School of Science and Technology, and one day during a chemistry class the teacher had the brilliant idea of paired assignments, so you were paired with Liz Toomes. Liz is a really intelligent young woman, the problem in question was the wide difference between your characters, your quiet countenance and your passivity for social relations caused discomfort among your classmates, but leaving that aside, you decided to go to her house to do the work. It was there that you met her father, Adrian, who found your project notebook when you dropped it on your way to Liz's room. He was clever, slipping in a note with his personal phone number expressing his interest in your projects. At first you were completely shy of the idea, but eventually you agreed, otherwise you wouldn't be in that situation.

The first project you did was an improvement to his exo-suit, he had been working on it for years, but for reasons you didn't know he didn't want to tell you who had helped him make it, he just told you that you had everything you needed at your disposal and that he wanted to see what you could be able to do, and so he did.

Since that day the small business you had in your hands had evolved, Toomes was in charge of the public-facing transactions, and you were hidden away carrying the full weight of engineering. But that didn't mean that when you went back out on the streets you became a normal teenager again.

On a Monday like any other Monday, New York City was glowing in the sunlight. On the drive to school we went over in a steady stream what we had studied for the maths exam you had in the fourth period, although it was really something you had passed a long time ago. You kept yourself hidden under a pair of headphones, listening for anything that would prevent you from interacting with people. Your day-to-day actions when you walked through that door were mechanical. You walked thirty-three steps down the main corridor, turned right, twenty-seven steps to your locker, entered code 5432, opened it and took your books, dropped off your lunch, closed it again and headed for your class, trying not to bump into anyone who crossed your path. That, day after day.

But that day, that second between songs, when your ears came back to the real world you heard a word "Vulture". Your senses quickly focused on the conversation that group of girls were having, you stopped the music and without looking at them you sharpened your hearing.

"My cousin just sent me the video," one of them said, showing her mobile phone to the others. "He was arrested tonight, on the Harlem waterfront. Isn't Spider-man cool?"

"Wow!" exclaims one.

"I can't believe the Vulture is Liz's dad," adds another girl. "By the way does anyone know anything about her?"

That conversation caused a pang inside you. You quickly, but as calmly as possible, closed your locker and headed in the opposite direction of the entire student body, heading back outside. You knew what this meant, your mind had explored various scenarios about the possible events that could happen if the FBI or anyone else discovered you. You knew what you had to do, how to do it and where to go, you had created a plan in your head. You didn't trust Adrian to take all the blame and you would come out of the situation unscathed, you were a minor and could always appeal to a corrupt situation, but that wasn't your style either.

Step by step you were fulfilling your plan, the first thing was to erase any traces that implicated you in those events, you had to go home and get rid of everything you had in your possession that implicated you, both physically and virtually, then it would be better for you to disappear for some time, you had plenty of money to do so and you knew that your family would not care too much where you were.

You went into the house, you had hours ahead of you until one of your parents returned. You went to your room and began to tidy up every gadget or item on your bed that connected you to the crime. It took you very little time compared to how long it took you to erase your fingerprints from the virtual world, it was obvious that you kept your figure hidden under a pseudonym, but every weapon or armour that the FBI had confiscated had your fingerprint on it, a fingerprint that could lead them to you.

The hours passed, you knew that sooner or later your parents were going to walk through the door, time was running out for you to catch a bus out of that city. You opted to pack up your things, leave that note and continue erasing data during the long trip to Arizona, but it was too late. A loud noise from the hallway alerted you that your time had come to an end.

"Ms. Y/L/N, you know what they say about sometimes you have to run before you walk?" Iron Man appeared before your eyes. "Too slow."

The armour that stood before you cut off your main passage to the exit, though you knew in your gut that there was little you could do against it without outside help. Slowly you reached inside your backpack and pulled out one of your unfinished projects, a laser that fired a powerful beam at the armour. That mere distraction allowed you to turn around and head inside your bedroom with the intention of climbing out of your window and down the fire escape, however as you were about to do so a body burst through the window, launching a slimy mass that stuck you to the wall of your room.  In front of you Iron Man and Spider-man, both staring at you, and you feeling the most vulnerable being at that moment.

"Wow!" Spider-Man picked up the laser from the floor. "This is cool! What kind of energy does it work with?"

"Hey kid! Put that down," his ally informed him. "Okay, do you know why we're here?" he asked waiting for an answer that never came. "Not very talkative, I understand, I was going to explain it to you anyway, do you know Adrian Toomes? I guess so, at least he knows you, he gave your name." your face hardened. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't be that surprised."

You remained impassive, listening to his every word and trying to form a plan in your head that would help you escape the situation.

"Listen, I have no intention of selling you out to the police," suddenly the Iron Man suit vanished, revealing the figure of Tony Stark before your eyes. "I admire you, I really do, well I don't mean I admire that you joined a group of criminals and created technologically enhanced weapons and sold them, but I admire your skills.

"Isn't that what you've done?" you finally interjected, responding to her retorts.

"Oh! She speaks!" he pointed at you, looking at Spider-man. "Good point. But to the point, you decide, you either come with us and decide to join the good side, or we leave you here for your parents to find you, explain everything that's happened and then to the police. You decide. The clock is ticking."

Your mind was reactivated again, it was clear that there were two options and only one of them was within your prospects. It might take you a while to forgive yourself for what you were going to do next, but it was your only way out. You nodded slowly and clenched your jaw tightly as you surrendered to those in front of you.

"Good choice," Tony said with a nod as Spider-man released you from those webs that had invaded your body.

From down the hall you heard the front door open and two people walked in, engaged in conversation, your parents. Your eyes widened exponentially.

"Just in time," Tony said. "See you later, kid. And you and I," he looked at you, "are going to explain to your parents about the September Foundation Grant."

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[smellss]

always ~ part two - zuko x reader

hi all,

here is the long awaited part two to i’ll love you always! sorry it’s taken me so long school is almost finished for the year so hopefully i’ll be able to right more soon. keep requesting!

lots of love, - smells x

@kaylove12 this one is for you x

we can win this

y/n began to smile until she saw azula the way her feet began to shift, her arms moving into the formation and the sinister look in her eyes

aang rising in the avatar state, unknown to what is about to happen

everything happening so fast

y/n began to run towards to young avatar, the flames shooting out of her hands launching her off the ground

the crack of lighting leaving azula’s hand caught everyone’s attention zuko turning wide eyed

a flame of blue light engulfing her entire body, the pain searing across her front

zuko cry echoed through y/n’s brain before darkness consumed the girl

sweat dripped down y/n’s forehead as the girl shot up, heavy breaths being forced out of her lungs

the gaang spread around saddened look in their eyes as they watched the girl in front of them

“it’s okay you are safe y/n, nothing is going to happen to you here” katara rubbed her back calmly speaking to her in a soothing voice

“same dream?” aang questioned tilting his head to his friend

“yes every since we got here it feels more real as well i don’t know it’s almost as if i can feel it happening again” y/n’s hand subconsciously trailed over the scar that took up most of her stomach

after the fight with azula, the group had gone on to invade the fire nation however it failed now they were hiding here in the northern air temple

the group all looked around at each other, wondering what they could do to help their friend but before aang could offer some advice toph exclaimed

“maybe you are just hungry firecracker come on let’s eat” the young earthbender yawned clapping y/n on the back causing the girl to laugh and the others to chuckle at toph’s reaction

“i think you are right toph, are smeller bee and the rest awake?” y/n questioned as she stood up and stretched

“i’m pretty sure i heard them talking about exploring the echo chamber” sokka said as they all walked to appa to collect some supplies

aang and y/n patting the sky bison causing a loud groan to escape from him and smile

“okay good so now we can talk about what we our next plan is going to be” katara stated look at aang who turned his head away and began to whistle

“i think we should go back to our original plan aang learning all four elements and fighting the fire lord before the comet hits” sokka exclaimed to the group

“oh yeah sure aang can just learn all four elements except one i think rather big problem we don’t have a firebending teacher, it’s not like y/n can do it right now can she!” aang yelled out a hurt look suddenly crossing y/n’s face

aang immediately walking over to the girl hugging her whispering apologises before returning to his place

“aang right i can’t firebend so who are we going to get to teach him?” y/n question out to group noticing toph had just changed her posture

“i think this will have to wait” toph stated turning around pointing at the last person she expected to see

“zuko” they all exclaimed now readying themselves into fighting stance

the group exchanged back and forth banter, y/n excluding herself from it

how come he decided he wanted to join now?

why not in ba sing se when i gave him the option?

is it because of me?

does he still love me?

these questioned floated through y/n’s head for the next couple of days the group declined zuko’s offer to help fight on their side

but after he help fight combustion man aang decided a group vote would be the most fair way to decide zuko’s joining

everyone else had given their opinion y/n knew aang was saving her till last

“y/n?” everyone turned to look at her all focus shifted to her, even him zuko was looking right into her eyes

she saw how desperate he was to join the group like back in ba sing se when she was injured he was desperate for her to be okay

“aang needs to learn fire bending so i guess it’s fine” y/n let out a sigh seeing zuko and aang untense

“okay good sokka can show you around” aang smiled widely at the new member of the group before sokka walked away with zuko

his eyes lingering on y/n’s as he walked out

later that night y/n had her weekly healing appointment with katara, the blue glowing water floated over y/n’s exposed torso as she winced a bit

“almost done y/n” katara smiled weakly at the girl not enjoying the discomfort her friend was in

unknown to the girls zuko leaned against the door trying to hide the hurt spread across his face as he watched y/n receive her treatment

if i was a little faster i could have stopped this

“okay y/n you are done, resting now will help the process” katara noticed zuko resting against the door frame knowing the two needed to talk she removed herself quickly from the situation

y/n glanced over to zuko seeing this discomfort in his face she motioned to him to sit on the floor

“does it hurt when katara does that?” zuko questioned to the girl tilting his head

“only at the end thats when katara can the relieve most of the negative energy, she said when azula struck me the energy was trapped inside my scar” y/n ran her fingers over the scar shaped obscurely across her torso

lifting her hand she placed it on zuko’s face her hand rubbing the firebender’s scar

“however i’ve never really minded scar’s, i think they’re rather interesting they show how people have grown” the girl smiled feeling zuko’s cheeks redden underneath her palm

“i’m so sorry y/n if i had been quicker or jumped in from y you wouldn’t i’m-“ lips silenced by another pair y/n pushing her lips gently against the boys causing him to let out a content sigh

“don’t apologise, other that would have never happened” y/n placed her finger over zuko’s lips as she stood raising her hand out to help the boy up

“dinner?”