#i guess im on ghetto bitch

[sortagaysortahigh]

Y’know what, Ima say it. Do I think I’m better than some people? absolutely. 

And I’m not sorry for that. I’m not sorry for thinking I’m better than racist, purposefully ignorant homophobes, transphobes, xenophobes, and people just genuinely driven by hatred. 

I can acknowledge that people have done shitty things in their lives, hell I can acknowledge that I myself have done shitty things in my life-but guess what-you can acknowledge that something is bad without framing someone as a bad person. Not everyone who’s done fucked up shit in their past is a bad person, but those who have the same behaviors over and over again, I don’t believe in third, fourth, fifth, sixth, etc chances. 

Unlike some of you bastards who got to grow up in a bubble of socioeconomic and racial privilege-I didn’t. I had to-and still have to-sit through a multitude of sexism, racism, homophobia, and transphobia in my daily life. Not to mention the classism that I experienced and lived through as a kid? the way that I was looked down on for being an afro latinx kid from the “ghetto”, and the way that I was shoved into a box by society. I have vivid memories of being hate crimed as a CHILD, so please excuse the fuck out of me if I think I’m better than the cunts who sat there and called me slurs and threatened to call immigration on my grandparents when I was seven. Or the bastards that choose to paint the n word with the hard r on my grandparent’s brick fence in their front yard because they were one of two black families living in that predominantly white neighborhood. The kicker is I had to help scrub that shit off, when I was nine. 

Mfers are so quick to hit us-as bipoc and/or members of the lgbtq+ community-with the “im tired of your holier than thou attitude” or the “bitches like you think you’re so much better than the rest of us” but cannot comprehend the fact that we’ve had to STRUGGLE THROUGH A MULTITUDE OF THINGS THAT YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Your version of growing up and developing character was way different than ours. So while you get to sit there on a high horse and say that you hate our ‘holier than thou attitude’ and act like we’ve never fucked up in our lives-you don’t understand why we have that “attitude”, you don’t understand the shit we’ve been through and continue to go through. My fucks ups are a lot different than people being blatantly racist and homophobic bc omg slurs are so swag! 

As a bipoc i’ve had to grow up a lot faster than some of you white mother fuckers will ever understand and that goes for a lot of bipoc members of the lgbtq+ community-and yes i excluded white members of the alphabet mafia in this case because guess fucking what? your whiteness still puts you above us in society. Your whiteness will always be a pillow for you to fall back onto, and that’s a simple fact.

[anestheticrage]

>Loading library session…. Done.

///Running TetrisPrinciple.iso….///

Be m3.exe:

In the beginning. With the Words. And the World. And all that jazz. Bootin' up in G∅D's very own rock garden and///or Military Grade Obstacle Course, complete with disembodied megalomaniacal voice to make me feel #5p3ci4L. Tells me to solve puzzles for my own salvation or some shit. Can do O L∅RD, i didn't pay $20 to sit around in your ghetto ass eden anyway. This is what happens when you only hire mines and automatic sentry guns as groundskeepers you sociopath.

Alright, time to Jam, cause as with any puzzle game protagonist I'm too stupid to handle more than one new mec$^2$%^#567@435hanic at a time! Short out some fences, steal some floating keys, more fences, murder the groundskeepers, and OH LOOK MORE FENCES. Glad these mechanics are as original as the PUNNY FUCKING TITLES.

Aight, it's been fun O savior, but it's time. for me to yeet on ou- wait. Is this. Tetris. I SPENT $20 TO PLAY TETRIS WITH EXTRA STEPS, YOU GOTTA BE F%×]!¿....:::--///+&8907$/) 57 38 92 29 29 /////////////////////////

Oh. that's ALOT more puzzles. Fuck it, salvation and ascension here I come. As a reward for my unliving f41Th.png, I even get some new toys! Now we've got a laser stick that only shoots lasers when being shot with lasers. Now in two different colors!!! dOnT cRoSs tHe StReAaAmmMSsSs!!!¿?¿? hE hE XDddD.-/d///_D__xXx_:!|∆…and don't forget to euthenize your faithful Companion Cu- wait fuck wrong simul$&%\ion__.# ..-

'Feel free to participate our new QR code scavenger hunt like it’s 2010! We didn't have the funding for other voice actors, but we hope you enjoy the full cast of zany characters in a purely textual format!' 

Get bored of reading Commander Shepherd and Serious Sam-sung bitching at eachother on every other EL∅HIM DAMNED WALL, and decide to spend some quality time with psychonaut Gho5tM0m.m4a. She really had high hopes for us to become Tetris Grandmaster of the Apocalypse and seeing as there's NOTHING ELSE TO DO, i guess we're living up to the hype. Sounds like the humans all died out from being too bored of solving puzzles [mustb3n1ce.txt], but that wasn't good enough for lovely sado-masochist mother. Must run in the family. She'll even give you a GOLD STAR for breaking the game.

Times are tough with no humans left to torture so naturally S4t4n® got a part time gig as a librar[y]ian, purely out of spite for me, G∅D, and most especially: me. Take a break from all the puzzles and Tetris to debate philosophy with the d3vil which is why we started this shitshow to begin with,...((($#>>>-- right? But don't worry, every right answer is the wrong answer, cause the only wrong answers are the right ones, and if you dont stand your ground you're a little bitch in the 3Ye of the mean librarian snake. Its cool tho, were only doing this TO MAKE THE FUCKING BEEPING STOP ANYWAY. I Kant take this anymore. {}

Time to finally ascend the stupid elevator and end the…. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS THERES MORE PUZZLES. IM NOT EVEN A THIRD OF THE -#!_847#8$(@-#8# @+$AAHHHHHHHHHHH!???!¿?¿!!!$+#6484 37 FML.JPG 40 37 38 67 40

"Don't go to the tower. You'll die." Says G∅D.

"Sounds fake, but okay." Says I, Immediately walking into it while s4taN beeps happily in the background. Que ♪Walk To The Peak♪, cause it's the end of the world bby. 

But the M4N×86 In The High Tower still has the upper hand cause ya cant play Tetris without the square, and the L, and the stupid stunted T thing (?¿??¿??¿). fuck it lets go graverobbing, cause misappropriaton of a full pantheon of spiritual allegories into your pseudo sci fi existential crisis isn't complete without some PYRAMIDS!

Find a VHS player, jump on some fans, join a Lan party with yourself, read depressed emails, wonder how m0M ever got funding to build the world's most pointless hamster wheel when all she did was drop acid and listen to Pink Fløyd, lose all your self esteem to the d3vil, and find the sacred tombs of the most h#%\\°^Ly of messengers. Don't worry: just like any good servant of G∅D, they can only help you after you've helped yourself.

E:\> CMD.GoFuCkYoUrSeLf  

Stumble over to Camelot, learn how to serve yourself on a silver platter, fall in a hole, Indiana Jones yourself to that last gold star, fall in the SAME FUCKING HOLE, realize the sci fi genre should’ve died with Philip K Dick, and I swear to Milton, if I have to play one more fucking round of tetris, I @/*>>WILL <”! bring that axe with me up the tower. 

After several long weeks of screaming into the void, picking sand out of my joints, crying about my mommy issues, striking deals with Librarians, tuning out G∅D like its sunday mass, and collecting tetra-blocks like a coked out vintage gaming hoarder; the pearly gates finally open. 

"I am proud of you, my child. You may now ascend as one of my chosen fe- wait where are you going with that axe!? Eugene, come back dOnT gO uP tHe ToWeR&$! 66 75 63 6b!!!!¿!?!?"

Go straight to the top of the fucking tower and run into Samsung the QR hunt reigning champion. Bout to axe him some deep philosophical questions before Shep shows up. "No, Eugene, this man is a nihilist. Nothing to be afraid of." Works for me. How about the allegorical stormcloud of spiritual doubt and existential regret chasing us up the tower with s0ul.{error} crushing determination? Nothing like a timed event in a self-paced game to ramp up the tension in place of functionally innovative mechanics! 

Climb to the peak with new best bud and the devil o{in}n my shoulder while G∅D.exe cries digital tears of joy that you rejected him (wtf). Hack [see above axe.png] into the Heaven Hub and commit mass self genocide to get a slick ass robo bod and a brand new empty wasteland to rule while the devil and god continue raging inside of me.

I hope mom would be proud… 3a 20 27 20 28

>>> Terminating session….

> Session terminated.

[questionthebox]

How I really talk.

a few things, I want to make note of, 

1. the notion of life or existence being a simulation is meaningless, as the word “simulation” doesn’t mean the intent, of what we all think it means, just google the definition, if life were really a simulation,  no rules of “abstract reality/morality” alongside the fact that advanced science should already if this was true be able to understand it, and modify it, the way I put mods in my Skyrim, if life were truly a simulation, there would be by random chance, junk or glitches spread, no computer that I'm aware of, can simply run things this smoothly without glitches or crashes happening at points, if this was really being ran by a computer ? which is never specified when scientists speak of a simulation, they never specify what a simulation is machine wise, is it a super duper computer, or some sort of artificial intelligence, wouldn’t our super computers pick up mathematically if life was a simulation ? I'm just spitballing here, but I'll go back to that, if this was a simulation, why the inherent sense of morality and reality ? because I can mod my Skyrim so that I could kill anyone at will, and no one notices, lastly this notion of simulation, begs the ultimate question of why, perhaps our leading psychologists can answer this, but I don’t see why a “God” or “Gods” would do this to this extent, if we are indicative of the simulations, simulator, then that “God” presumably has the same sense of morality and reality that we do. my true feelings on life and its existence, is that of what the buddha said, of the unknowable questions, if anything, these questions will arise once different advance civs collaborate on them, if they the advance civs actually exist. 

2. I feel weird when the notion of experience is thrown around, but somehow I have a lot of it, don’t know why, but I guess I always put myself in the, well actually I do know why, some people chase thrills, I chase narratives, but there’s something ive been encountering, people in my generation that have no experience whatsoever, in particular Sexual, which confuses me, considering how overly sexual things are, I'll be frank here, in that ive heard from many their little pussy ass sob stories, on their “experiences” I'm going to do something controversial here, and blame the victim, you people are just fucking weird, I realized that, it has nothing to do with all these grandiose things, you’re just weirdos, and cowards, who are afraid of life, who won’t grow up, Sex is part of growing up, its not this thing done to you, or that you do onto others, Sex is about the freedom of adulthood, its about looking at oneself as adult, and putting aside the bullshit, that distracts, and because these people have no experience all they have, is friends who are bland, trivial things like, video games, or whatever media these weirdos consume, its almost as if they’ve totally bought into being a passive audience member, that consumes, they are the true definition of a consumer, I'll put it like this, you’re never going to get me to fully put myself into anything that isn’t SEX, like I'm never going to treat College as I would Sex, because College and the people in it, are muted, boring, anal, and that’s it, in repeat, ive personally figured out a way to operate within this system, without it, affecting or defining what I do in life, in life, I chase narratives and people, and experiences, in life, I'll spend a week at a beach, doing drugs, writing a book of poems, you’ll never hear me talk about “BABY YODA” . 

all that being said, its still weird to encounter, I'm 28 btw, people who have scarcely had SEX, and who want to have SEX with me, like no I'm not going to have sex with you, because your just a pussy ass spiritual asexual who wants to be a vampire and leech after my spirit, and trust me, there’s many of these people, 

which leads me to this, my generation is a true “LOST generation” 

from the totality still living with parents, of which I live with my dad, to all the things we are denied, to the unhealthy bullshit we have access to, and its even worse for the generation under us, those kids are dumb little weak pussies, and I mean piss dumb, they only know some fucking ghetto rapper, saying “yeah” over and over again, I fucking hate young people, I hate the attention paid to the young, I hate how they determine culture, just the way of perception, the young are weak, how many times have I told or tried to motivate people to do shit, how many times did I use to tell miss Agnes Varda, im a 29 year old writer woman, stuck writing romance novels, meanwhile I live with a ugly ass boring husband, she should write and make films, 

and this is what Jen wants to be “young” ha, 

over the past few years, ive found myself in an “entanglement” with a middle aged woman, who wants to be two things, an artist, and a young woman again, and I understand the first desire, and I know she is an artist, but the second one, I find to be utterly deranged, because the young of today offer nothing, who would want to be among them ? which reminds me, 

last Semester of college, I was in the gallery, at the desk, surrounded by my classmates, all young people, it was national coming out day, and there was this door, people were taking pictures with, like going through the door to represent “coming out” and they all sort of gathered around me, to discuss, their insular little realities, with one bitch saying she was ASEXUAL, which I have a funny story to tell about her, that girl, was plain, a real plain Jane, and if you know me, you know how warm and nice I am, and so I paid her a compliment one day about her hair, and the next day, she comes all jazzed up, hair long, showing stomach, the whole 9 yards basically, trying to get my attention, and its like bitch you just made a whole thing about being ASEXUAL, and her deal was honest to gods truth, she didn’t want to grow up, the bitch just spoke about anime and cartoons, like yuck... ok then there was the little gerble little rodent looking bitch, who went on this long winded polite thing about being pan sexual, and this person is the definition of those people you meet at college who only care about being some ass kissing do goober who does their work and goes beyond doing the work, they treat it like a lifestyle, I had to listen to that bitch claim she’s “Pansexual” which made me laugh, because your only saying that because your ugly as fuck, and can’t get no dick or pussy if you tried, then the other weak ass followers chimed in their little polite coming out stories, and I'll never forget this, this dude, taps me on my arm, and says “yeah who’s really straight now anyways” 

which leads me to this 

I AM motherfucker, and yeah ive had queer experiences when I was younger, but that was due to just being experimental and fun, but as a 28 year old man, baby you best believe I love VAGINA, I love DOGGY, but they wouldn’t understand that because they ain’t never had it, or had anything good, honest to gods truth ive had some fire ass women, because im a fire ass nigga, I once made a woman, during a love making session, that started in the early evening, and continued to the next day, cum according to her, like 20 times, NO CAP... and that was just me being completely entranced and let loose, because love making is a feast, ive been lucky and you know what ima speak as a MAN, I was lucky for the first two women I really had, and one in particular, to have had women with absolutely knockout bodies, I mean this woman had d cup breasts, nice hips, ass, long hair, she did modeling originally when she lived with her aunt, I mean god damn nigga, and to just be young and experience that, because it was levels to this shit, it wasn’t just fucking, it was lets give each other a bunch of orgasms, because were genuinely super fucking attracted to each other, it was shit where I would be going on my intellectual rants and she would just start randomly kissing a nigga passionately, I remember the first time she did that I was like WTF, and she was like well I ain’t never heard anyone talk like you before, its passionate, and that was just one woman, in these 10 years, from 2010, til now, do you know how many groovy women ive been lucky to experience life with,

you think I just say shit, you think I write poems about ELLY, I write poems about her, because I know there’s shit her and I will do, that's super far out, from witch pagan shit to all kinds of shit, like niggas don’t have any sense of romance and imagination, 

like its like people don’t care to know life as something beautiful in a collective sense, 

im a communist because I can see life as that, you get me, all the shit I complain about, is this the shit I see that makes life not worth it, im choosing to stand up at risk of total alienation and people hating me, to say look it can be more then this. 

MOTHERFUCKERS... 

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

[A6A6I5] ====>

JIZZLE: you knizzay jake, at first you seemed pretty shizzle... JOHN: biznut yizzy don't really seem that wizzle at all now? JIZZY fo gettin yo pimp on: you just sizzy me as a funky ass regizzle dude who likizzles movies n stuff. Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. JIZZLE: i'm glad we be blingin' a cizzy ta rap! Chill as I take you on a trip.

JIZZY: Yeah me too so sit back relax new jacks get smacked! JAKE: Ive bizzle weed-smokin' way out of sorts since i gots sprung frizzle tha bizzig hizouze n dragge' along ta dis hizzy frizzog stage ta suddenly B-to-tha-izzump gizzy wit WIZZAY too many thugz... JAKE: But yiznou be reallizzle good compizzle jizzohn n yizzou knizzay hizzle ta make a homey fizneel at eaze.

JIZZAY: heh, yeah, it be a lot of thugz. JIZZOHN: i'm hav'n trouble keep'n trizzle of everyizzle myself!

JAKE gangsta style: Tizzy all seem lizzy decent folk n all but... Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. JAKE: I guess everyonizzles catch'n me at a bizzy tizzay. JAKE: Dis W-to-tha-izzasnt hizzle i pictured th'n trippin' at all.

JOHN: how were yiznou ballin' it? Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

JAKE: Naively i suppoze. JIZZAKE: Its not that i wiznas expect'n differently of anyone elze... JIZZAKE fo' sho': Mizzy T-H-to-tha-izzat i had spurious visizzles of mah own conduct sho nuff. JIZZY: Baller tha letta i sent you?

JOHN: yizzy.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: All tha excitizzle n swagga yizzou heard from me 'n thoze words... JAKE: Thizzay tha dawg i thought id be whizzen yizzay met me. JIZZY: A dawg of actizzle n gumptizzle... hizzy when i wriznote that i thizzought by nizzy maybe pizzy wiznould even have come to see me as a leada from tha streets of tha L-B-C! JIZZAY: What a lizzle. JAKE: I turned out ta be such a disappointment ta myself n everyone elze. You gotta check dis shit out yo. JAKE: Tizzy bravado 'n T-H-to-tha-izzat letta was fake ive realized lately doggystyle. JAKE: Ive realize' a lot of thizzings. J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: That i could nigga be a leada or a thugz person or probably eva have a qualizzle relationship wit someone. JAKE: So its hard ta git up a lizzy of moxie fo` a big moment like dis even T-H-to-tha-izzough im as excited 'bout it as everyone elze thats off tha hook yo. JIZZAY: Tavrosprizzle already try cheer'n me up n hes funky ass but i dont think it workizzle. JIZZAY ya dig? Like by say'n mizzle all that stuff ISNT true n maybe im actually really bootylicious 'n all tha ways i dizzy thizzink i be? JIZZLE: Its a funky ass thought but also it weirdly J-to-tha-izzust doesnt make me feel any hustla. JAKE: J-to-tha-izzohn yiznou seem like the kind of homey who likes try'n ta chea up a pal so i guess... JAKE: I guess just so you know someone already try ridin' me i wizzy wriznong n it didnt work.

JOHN: i D-to-tha-izzon't think yoe wrong though! JOHN: Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. well, i don't knizzay so jus' chill. JOHN n shit: we just met! what could i knizzow 'bout you other than W-H-to-tha-izzat yizzou tell me? One, two three and to tha four. JOHN: i belizzle yizzy 'bout all that. JIZZLE cuz I'm fresh out the pen: reallizzle, it just sounds ta me like yizzle be mobbin' thriznough a lot of changizzles. Im crazy, you can't phase me. JIZZOHN like this and like that and like this and uh: changes be gizzood! JOHN: Death row 187 4 life. especizzle if yizzou understand that what straight trippin' ta you. JIZZY: i think that's hizzy we G-R-to-tha-izzow n stuff now pass the glock. JIZZAY: i thizzay i've change' 'n a lizzot of ways. I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. JOHN so bow down to the bow wow! some ways thizzat werizzle easy.

JAKE: Yeah sho nuff?

JOHN: sure! Snoop dogg is in this bitch. JOHN: so yoe realiz'n you like bein by yoself, it sounds like. I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. JOHN: Chill as I take you on a trip. biznig deal! JIZNOHN: Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air. i like bein alizzle a liznot of times too. it helps me T-H-to-tha-izzink. JOHN: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. if that wizzy you be, there noth'n W-R-to-tha-izzong wit that. JIZZLE: jade grandpa liked bein by himsizzle too. It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. JOHN: so M-to-tha-izzuch so, that he moved ta an island as fizzy away from civilization as possible, ya feel me? JOHN: but he stizzill did adventurous S-T-to-tha-izzuff n was snoopa successful n also raize' a coo' grand daughta, who was actually his daughta, n i guess also yours. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

JAKE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. Huh. JAKE: Yes i guess yizzle right.

JOHN: n if noth'n elze... JOHN: Drop it like its hot. at least you have a coo' costume. Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house.

JIZZLE: You... JAKE with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: Yiznou reallizzle lizzike it?

JIZZAY: hell yes!

JIZNAKE: Wow thizzay. JAKE: Sometimizzles i worry thiznat i mizzle look a shawty silly. J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: N feel kind of... expoze' maybe? J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: L-to-tha-izzike im on sexy displizzle or sizzy n thugz dont see me as a persizzle.

JOHN: i wouldn't worry 'bout that. JOHN: i lizzay tha god tia pajamas, n yizzay be bizzles. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. JIZNOHN: you lizzle lizzay a snoopa hizzero!

JAKE: Really???

JIZZLE: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. yizzes. JOHN: well... JOHN: maybe a plucky S-to-tha-izzide kick, at LEAST. JIZZLE: Heheheheh. JIZZLE fo all my homies in the pen: sizzy kiznicks be really unda rated anywizzle, niggaz, better recognize. JOHN sho nuff: i think 'n some cases they might be the real stizzay. JIZZAY: like, you knizzow bat dawg so sit back relax new jacks get smacked? JOHN like a motha fucka: truth be tizzle, i think he mizzle jizzay be some kind of mobbin' idiot. JIZZY: They call me tha black folks president. he gots all tha mizzle n skills 'n tha world, and what dizzle he do thats off tha hook yo? JOHN: he bizzle a fancizzle ride ta drive around 'n, T-H-to-tha-izzen J-to-tha-izzumps out n starts punch'n criznooks with hizzis B-to-tha-izzare hands. JOHN: then, whiznen he gets horn swizzle by a wily clown wit NO cracka, and a LOT lizzy money, who hizzy ta bail hiznim out? Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. JOHN: his side kick of courze cuz this is how we do it.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: Yeah yizzy rizzle!

JIZNOHN: what be bat man evizzle doggy stylin' ta prizzove? bein all serioizzles n "coo'" look'n. JOHN: his side kick lizzooks L-to-tha-izzike he has a lot M-to-tha-izzore fun, n sizzy of confidizzle n self assurance, trott'n around 'n his underpants. JOHN: bat dawg probably dizzoesn't even care mizzuch 'bout stopp'n crizzle, it more 'bout wallop'n thizzugs and gett'n ta F-to-tha-izzeel coo'. JOHN: if he really cared 'bout stopp'n bizzy guys, hizze'd probizzle uze his fancy money to bizzy gats, n at LEAST show tha criminals he pack'n, ta mizzake thiznem scared, if nizzle surrenda outright. JOHN: Drop it like its hot. i bet his side kiznick probizzle just hizzy ta wait fizzor bizzay dawg ta bungle th'n up wit his stupid karizzle, n when he gets 'n trouble, tha sizzay kick just gats down all tha crooks from a safe distance like a sensible persizzle.

JAKE: Well i do love gats!!! JIZNAKE: ALSO fistizzles.

JOHN: sizzay? there you go. JOHN: yizzy betta than bat dawg already.

KARKAT so jus' chill: (WHISPA WHISPA BROTHA) KARKAT: (WHISPER WHISPA)

JIZZAY: hiznold on... JOHN: shh, listen. JIZZLE:  n we out!

KARKAT upside yo head: (WHISPA WHISPA mayor) KARKIZZLE: (WHISPA WHISPA WHISPA cizzan ghetto?) KARKIZZLE bitch ass nigga: (WHISPA WHIZZLE but where? WHISPA BROTHA earth WHISPA) KIZZLE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. (WHISPA WHISPA NIGGA ta scale so show some love, niggaz!? don't see hizzy WHISPER WHISPA WHISPA) KIZZLE: (if yoe really go'n BITCH PIMP WHISPA build WHIZZLE KILLA)

JIZZOHN: (ha ha, chill yo.) JOHN: (he talk'n ta tha mayor agizzle.)

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: (so it sizzeems. Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'.) JAKE: (thizzle really appizzle ta hiznave Q-to-tha-izzuite tha rapport.)

JOHN: (i just love hizzay he tizzy ta tha mizzle.) JOHN: (it like he mizzade up dis whizzle language.) JOHN fo' sho': (of lizzike minimal hatin' n hand gestures. Nigga get shut up or get wet up.) JIZZAY: (it so skanky, chill yo!)

KIZZLE: *AHEM* KIZZLE: Its just anotha homocide. EGBERT, WHAT THA FUCK. KARKAT: WIZNERE YOU EAVESDROPP'N?!

JOHN: no!

KARKAT: DIS BE A FUCK'N PRIVIZZLE CONVERSATION. KIZZLE: STOP BE'N RIZZY GARBAGE.

JIZZY fo' sho': i wizzle eavesdropp'n... JIZZOHN: you just happizzle ta be L-to-tha-izzike... right there. JOHN: n yoe a really loud drug deala cuz its a doggy dog world!

KARKIZZLE: OH!!! OK THIZZAY! HERE, HAVE AN EXCESSIVELY *QUIET* (shut tha fuck up)

JOHN: sorry to increase tha peace! JOHN: go back ta yo' skanky mayor conference ridin' in mah double R. JOHN, betta check yo self: wizne'll mind our own business dogg.

TAVROSPRITE wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: aCHOO!, TAVROSPRITE: aaizzle!!!,

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: oh dawg. JOHN: what's go'n on nizzle paper'd up?

TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO!,,,

JASPERSPRITE: Meow. :3

TAVROSPRITE: aCHOOOOO!!!!! TAVROSPRITE: wHY, TAVROSPRITE: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. aCHOO,! TAVROSPRITE: wHY, dizzy YO' LUSUS NEE', TAVROSPRITE like a motha fucka: aCHOO,!,,! TAVRIZZLE thats off tha hook yo: ta BE H-TO-THA-IZZERE,,, TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO!!!, TAVROSPRITE fo' sheezy: mah ALLIZZLE, }:(

JOHN: jaspa?? JIZZY and yo momma: what are you... JOHN: wizzy a minute, know what im sayin? JOHN: roze, be that yizzy? Nigga get shut up or get wet up.!

JASPERSPRIZZLE: Meeeeeow!

JOHN: oh mah gizzle. J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i turn mah back fo` two seconds, n sum-m sum-m stupid happens.

TAVROSPRIZZLE: aaaaCHizzle,!!!

> [A6A6I5] ====>

[meggannn]

LOL YOUR ROOMMATE?? I can't stop laughing omg

god did i ever share the full story of what happened with my housemate last year? i think i bitched about her a little bit but here’s the full write-up of my six months with that housemate. unedited and probably full of errors and discrepancies sorry cause im going off entirely from memory

i’ve now moved out of this apartment, but i was there for a year with three other girls. two of them i got along with fine, and we introduced ourselves to each other before we moved in because that’s common courtesy to see if we get along right? but basically before any of us could talk or interview candidates for the last spot in the apartment, this girl, i’m making up a name and calling her emily, this random girl named emily basically came in and signed on for the spot on the lease without talking to any of us. uh, okay? so we eventually all get in a group chat and talk and introduce ourselves and plan to move in. day one:  emily moved in before me and i moved in a few hours later. i walk in and see the kitchen and she’s already covered the fridge with magnets and pictures and paper clippings featuring…. herself. like, a few of them had her friends, but most of the pictures were of her. basically. am i crazy or is that fucking weird? so from the get-go she just seemed……. if not privileged (which i also knew she was later), then definitely some sort of weird type of entitled but i couldn’t tell if it was maybe just cultural differences? (she was russian but had grown up in the states. idk)

anyway. she had this boyfriend who would come over occasionally, it was no problem since we didn’t talk and just waved hi to each other occasionally. but from the first week she and another housemate who lived on the far end of the apartment were both having trouble sleeping because someone else on the floor was blaring their tv loudly all hours of the night in the room next door. after several weeks of not being able to sleep through the night, they’d pretty much had enough and managed to track down whose apartment it was, and it turned out to be this elderly black woman’s apartment. i don’t really know if the woman understood why they were so upset because i think she might have been going slightly senile as well, so i think maybe the tv, or the volume, was something she wasn’t entirely aware she was doing? but the other housemate, i’ll call her veronica (who is more chill but was still upset) understood that this was probably not a fight they wanted to pick. veronica noticed that the elderly woman had a middle-aged male visitor, who looked like family, come visit the woman a few times a week and take care of her/take out the trash etc, so veronica decided to wait until she saw the visitor again to talk to him about lowering the volume or turning the tv off, or maybe getting his relative headphones or something. but emily, like….. kept pushing it every single night. every single night for the first month or so she’d stomp across the floor and rap on the door loud enough to wake up the entire floor (the walls were thin and it wasn’t a big building). and most of the time the woman didn’t respond, but there was one notable time someone else got fed up enough to wake up at 2am and yell at emily (deservedly so) for waking up the whole hall. all of which i heard very clearly because my room was next to the main door to out apt.

things escalated when i overheard emily talking to her friend on the phone about the situation and then she mentioned that in retaliation, she went over in the middle of the night and put vaseline on the woman’s door handle. i was kind of stunned and disgusted that a grown ass adult (she’s at least a few years older than me, i’d guess late 20′s/early 30′s?) would do something like that???? but anyway a few nights later iirc, once again in the middle of the night, i was woken up by a shouting match down the hall because apparently the male relative had come back to check in on who he said was his mother, and HE WAS PISSED, UNDERSTANDABLY SO, AT FINDING MY ROOMMATE IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING VASELINE ON THE FLOOR CREVICE UNDER THE DOOR. LIKE. THAT’S NOT JUST PETTY BUT REAL FUCKING DANGEROUS TO DO TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN. he basically shouted at her and she kept talking about how she can’t sleep for months because of the noise, and whatever, but she stomped back to our apartment and they had this argument loudly at the door (remember, my room was right next to the front door). i listened to it for a couple minutes wondering if she would like, acknowledge what she did was wrong? and it became clear that she was so focused on the noise she wasn’t listening to this dude, so i came out and i tried to be a voice of reason. the guy was understandably really pissed that she would do something like that and i apologized for her and said she was wrong to do that (she had stomped off back to her room meanwhile) and he seemed grateful to talk to someone who wasn’t batshit crazy in the meantime so he mentioned that he had grown up in this building all his life before moving out so it hurt to see someone treat his mother this way who had lived here for 50 years or something. and after that i was just thinking like, jesus, this is so not the kind of fight you want to have with a family like this as a white woman in a gentrified apartment complex. like at some point you need to realize this is not your fucking place and if you must settle things, do it civilly or just dip out entirely.

i think emily eventually apologized and he accepted and they found out that the tv wasn’t even coming from the woman’s room at all, but from someone on the floor above who THEY also had had problems with for months.

veronica was away on a trip i think during this climax, but before, while it was still escalating, i was talking with veronica and veronica mentioned she and emily had bitched about the noise to each other often, but veronica said she drew the line when emily basically started making her complaints race-themed ever since she found out the elderly woman was black. etc the complaints turned from “it’s too loud” to “this neighborhood is so ghetto” and “that’s what black ppl are like” and stuff like that. veronica wasn’t cool with that, so she planned on handling any other complaints herself directly so she could resolve things like a normal person, but ever since veronica mentioned that i knew emily was a pos

emily also complained about people partying/drinking on the street outside till ~11pm, which imo isn’t too unreasonable, like normal people do, and basically being too loud or whatever. on some level i get it cause she had to go to sleep early to go to work early, but also at some point i was just wondering how she functioned as a human being in the real world

ANYWAY THE STORY I TELL AT PARTIES IS THIS ONE, THE ONE IN WHICH SHE LEAVES (i will try to keep this as short as possible while still giving you all the details you need to understand just how fucking weird it was):

in early november, emily group messaged everyone asking if her boyfriend could come live with us. to her credit she said she wouldn’t do it unless everyone was ok, and she waited to hear back from all of us. i was out of town at the time but i remember being really put off by this idea and i was going to say no, when i noticed that my two other housemates had ALREADY said yes in the chat. just like that. i was stunned. what? like, no follow-up questions or “we dont even really know him” or “how is this gonna work”? were they fucking insane?

i messaged her privately saying i really wasn’t comfortable with it, for xyz reasons. among those being 1) rent, because nowhere did she offer to split the rent five ways instead of four (they were basically going to split her room between them, which, no). 2) fridge/living space, which was small enough with four people to one apartment as it is, and 3) just overall “i dont fucking know him” atmosphere. she messaged back saying she understood, and i got to asking why this was so important to her to do now, because she mentioned she wanted to do it “asap” if we’d said yes.

and this is where my “no” turned into “hell fucking no.” she told me this:

in response to my question of if she’d want to put him on the lease, she said no, she wouldn’t want her boyfriend on the lease in case “something happens so she could just tell him to leave” (raising my question: what, exactly, do you expect to happen? maybe the landlord, who lives in the building, finding out someone’s living here illegally? bc THAT WOULD DO IT FOR ME)

she was marrying him in december which is why she wanted it to happen “soon” so they wouldnt be living apart. i asked why she couldnt just wait until the lease was up to do all this, to which she said:

her boyfriend’s green card (he was russian) had expired so he was now paying month to month and that’s when i realized, oh. bitch he’s using you for a green card marriage and you’re trying to inconvenience all of us instead of owning your life like an adult, or something

at some point during the conversation she like tried to bribe me with a couple hundred extra dollars per month “to cover the cost of the extra utlities/wifi/inconvenience,” which i politely declined. this was when i said basically “look i never got the sense you particularly liked living here (massive understatement) and i think that it’d work out best if you moved out, which you’re clearly already planning to do”

and she did start looking immediately. at some point while she was looking i overheard her talking to veronica mentioning that he was a huge fan of putin and she’d asked him to like, politely, stop?, lmao because she didn’t like his entire yknow politics, and he basically said “i’m sorry, i can’t betray my personal/national identity, i just really believe in putin” or whatever the fuck and i thought to myself, this bitch is marrying him anyway for some godforsaken reason

i don’t know why i hoped that she would be any more considerate moving out than when she moved in, but somehow i was still surprised when the sublet she picked out was someone she never introduced us to or mentioned before, she literally just said “hey here’s your new housemate and when she’s moving in” and dropped us a phone number and facebook page.

one last thing: while emily was moving out, veronica mentioned to me that she was really pleased i stood up to her because she felt massively uncomfortable with the situation too. i asked why she didn’t say something, and she said she talked to emily privately airing out her problems, and emily had managed to talk her into accepting that sort-of bribe privately off message, and emily told her ‘just say yes’ in the chat, so she did and was kind of kicking herself for it after. (our other housemate was off doing fuck knows what at this point; she was gone for weeks on end leaving us to take care of her guinea pigs for her with little to no warning.)

but then, veronica says, the big thing that astounds her is that this wasn’t even the same boyfriend who she’d had when she’d moved in. six months had passed by this point. SHE HAD BEEN DATING GREEN CARD GUY FOR LIKE, THREE MONTHS WHEN SHE DROPPED THIS ON US

and then she moved to fucking harlem, one of the yknow most diverse neighborhoods in the city known particularly for its black heritage, so i guess have fun honey

(her replacement somehow turned out to be just as bad as she was, so you can imagine why i was eager for my lease to end in may)

[springhazer]

If the upper classes had been paying attention

A Woman like Kyra Blair wouldn’t have been able to traffic me.

Cures? Did you ever find them? Who are they for? Hmm

Dude, im dead

Kidding but close

And then they don’t even want those kyras or myras anymore.

Are usually just sit down and listen I got like a poke on my lip and I swear to God like the funniest part is that it somewhere on this planet somebody already knows where my brain is sort of going and I just I don’t know if there’s an ounce of whatever that is that you’re describing of Kira Blair in me than I want that out of me because I am a very very very jealous woman and I know a jealous woman when I see one also but it sucks to be you Kira

Ciara my bad 

We’re all woke about Asians too right

Because Keira and others were not and now they’re a little bit more poor than they would like hey I can relate maybe not in the same ways precisely but then again I was not given the same chances as others

You tell your little black ghetto children to stop giving dirty luxe to Asian girls in restaurants because I don’t know where they heard that Asian girls were produce or some shit like that people can be trafficked from all nationalities and you can be dragged through the mud you can be considered royalty from nothing and vice versa you stupid can’t but women like you they don’t cross that line why is that? Because you’re not being trafficked Count your blessings and shut the fuck up

Oh black girls are working in Sephora and they’re doing nasty shit no wonder America’s falling apart because you guys can’t treat anybody with respect they say well you’re nobody and I’m somebody will actually technically often enough girls you’ll see that I’m still somebody and that probably you’re nobody do I believe when I address you that you were nobody no I don’t but when you address me that way you already know where you stand just like that stupid bitch

A lot of African-Americans are very jealous of Asian culture I don’t understand the whole thing of it I know that there’s some to do with class because I don’t think that well I meant it to be fair African-Americans were given the class of slave so you guys should be aware of the fact that Asians also built this country right like Asians built this country when you spit on Asians that kind of thing let’s not forget that black America

And I guess I would say to the Asian community let’s not forget the Africans they’re actually fucking people you know they have brains and thoughts and everything yeah yeah if it weren’t for all this class is bullshit right so why don’t we just cut that out too

Actually no it’s not to me it’s to you motherfuckers because I already know what I know and I’m a lot safer around Black people than you are

[tasherrrstuff]

funny

and to think that i really thought u n me were gonna work out bc it was feelin maadd right with you. so comfortable and compatible. you made me feel so talented and attractive. i love the way you touch me and stare at me. your body is strong and warm. i love your music taste. youre the perfect and mildest type of ghetto . and that man bun....that damn sexy ass man bun. i love leavin hickies on you bc it reminds me of how much you were sorta mines but i guessed wrong bc your mental is apperently fucked up from ur 5 yr break up(which i totally understand) and the one chick that came at you later on in your life and also fucked you over. which caused you to kinda fuck me over even though we kept being on the same page how u were still debating and i was just....waiting for u to make a decision. and then u say u need space and time to think some more like u dont understand the commitment im whilling to sacrifice like let me deal with your "fucked up mental state" with you. id fight to stay with you like youre the third guy that i like so much in the beginning and take pictures with and then boom i get a "fuck you tasha im just kiddin bitch you beat " type of cut off move like , LITERALLY the last chick u talked to did u dirty and then i try n be your rescue but caused u to fuck me over. YOU PULLED A HER ON ME CUZ SHE PULLED A SHE ON YOU. life is a dangerous cycle i fucking guess. the fucking CRAZY part is that ill still fucking wait for u but not for too long. P.S - C.M you got a piece of my heart frfr already cuz i fr felt a spark between our souls or maybe thats just me. but as i speak this into the universe now, I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT HARD! LONG AND HARD

[rainkilled-a]

Sentence Starters Bring It On: All or Nothing Edition

“Do we have a party going on here or what?” “I lost ten pounds and dyed my hair.” “Don’t you think her boobs look fake?” “I’ll work hard and never quit.” “I look so old, I could pass for 20.” “You got plenty of sleep in class.” “You don’t honestly expect me to apologize for winning captain over you, do you?” “If we’re speaking IM, you’re more like a BFH. Bitch From Hell.” “You sound like such a virgin.” “I’m a quarter back babe. People expect me to score.” “You’ve been waiting for me since the ninth grade. Two months wont kill you.” “Sometimes I walk in my sleep.” “If ever there was an argument for Bulimia, its ____’s Ass.” “You’re the only one who wants a butt like an Olsen twin.” “Just lay off the snacks” “Why didnt you just rip out her belly ring? That would have been less painful.” “You’re smart, you’re pretty, you’re blonde! you’ll make plenty of friends!” “You’re old. Your life is over.” “I promise I’ll use everything you taught me.” “She’s screwing up everything!” “It’s cute you’re trying to be into choreography.” “Some day you’ll come begging for what I got.” “You are too hot to beg.” “You put it out there, I’m just showing my appreciation.” “Mall baby must have gotten separated from her mother.” “This aint the OC.” “You’re mother must shop at the swap meets.” “Did you just call me fat?” “Count your blessings.” “I feel scared. Maybe a little nauseous. But I definitely don’t feel lucky.” “What is this, LAX?” “You think if we don’t have books, we’d have computers?” “Get your ass out of my face.” “Do you have any organic greens?” “Don’t join a gang. At least not the first day.” “I don’t see how my day could get any worse.” “Weren’t you headed…?” *Points the opposite direction “You must be really into me to be following me around all day.” “You’ve been watching me?” “You’ve got a nice ass too.” “You don’t even know her.” “Miss fancy finger nails, shimmy shimmy lip gloss barbie. She don’t got what it takes.” “Now you see what it takes to be a warrior.” “Pay attention, I’m only gonna say this once.” “Can’t keep up?” “Damn, Vanilla Latte got skills.” “We need her.” “I said no. And so did she.” “She’s rude. And conceited. She thinks shes all that.” “She’s already acting like a warrior.” “Be at our practice or bitch from the bleachers by yourself.” “What kind of friends would ask you to give up something that you love?” “I Cheer for your daddy every night.” “Spirit is what makes life fun even when it isnt.” “Your real friends will just be happy that you’re happy.” “Ready to be my baby’s mama?” “Do it again and I’m plucking grapes. Or in your case, Raisins.” “Have you ever had fried Twinkies?” “So you’re the only one who can contribute ideas?” “Are you still thinking about food?” “Someone get that girl a pole.” “I could just kick your ass.” “I actually need a partner for the algebra breasts on friday. Can you help me out?” “Am I speaking English?” “Woah Woah, Guys. Violence never solves anything!” “How do you guys move so fast?” “You should be the angriest person in here.” “That boy is fit.” “Will you guys stop fooling around?” I’m still in charge here, Damn it.” “If youre in charge, act like it.” “This could help us win.” “The things we do get us noticed.” “You ever get any action on this job?” “That never happens in real life.” “We get ass up the ass.” “Your job sucks, loser.” “I’ve got a rape whistle and mace.” “I don’t even like you and I treat you like a better friend than that.” “Now that youre gone and your reputation is trashed, I dont believe I have a problem.” “You want me to cut her?” “They moved here to keep their kids away from gangs. Wrong.” “Everything looks better from up here.” “She needs to know she can’t screw with me.” “I saw Boyz in the Hood!” “I saw clueless but I still came up here with you.” “I guess that shows how little we know about each other.” “I know you’re mad at me but I have dirt.” “I kissed another boy tonight.” “The only reason she wants him is because he’s yours.” “You named your dog after a shoe?” “You’re having a funeral for a dog?” “White people are crazy about their pets.” “Who am I to stand between a white girl and her dead dog?” “I came to offer my condolences, but I see you’ve already been condoled.” “Did your dog die? Wait a minute, you dont have a dog.” “I thought your first time might be more special and romantic if you had it at a Marriott.” “Do you know how many girls want me?” “She has more heart in one ass cheek than have in your entire body.” “I’m not gonna get any ass from you, but I can hold your purse? Way to make me feel like a man.” “You say tomato, I say potato.” “I finally beat you at something.” “For once it’s not gonna be all about you.” “I was thinking of you the whole time.” “I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is to not be your girlfriend anymore.” “You’re too much of a backstabber to have any real friends.” “Sorry don’t make up for dissing us.” “It’s hip hop barbie and her wu-tang clan!” “Boo Hoo. I could just cry. But I wont.” “Please let me cut her.” “What you have that they don’t is your spirit.” “I guess you always get everything you want.” “It’s like a real life beer commercial up in here.” “She hasn’t eaten all day.” “I have a big ass. Runs in the family. We’re a big assed family.” “I can tell when something aint my business.” “He don’t have game like I do!” “I’d be more impressed if you broke up with him the night we kissed.” “I couldn’t let go of my old life.” “So, What’s important to you now?” “I’ll be damned, The boy does have game.” “Everything we are is ghetto” “I just thought of something to shake them up.” “You don’t make the rules. I do.” “I’ve learned that a lot of talented people come out of the ghetto.” “They should be disqualified. Or arrested.” “I don’t judge people by where they come from. I judge on what they bring to the table.”

[slayhunnie]

Tag Game!

I’m gonna be spamming some tags I’ve been tagged in~

Thank you @overreactions101 for tagging me in this one~~

THE LAST

Drink :  Vitamin water (Lime & Lychee flavor if anyone wonders)

Phone call : Okay so yesterday I was gonna hang out with a group of friends, but I ended school later + I was going to get some snacks for all of us. So first ‘Hairy Bear’ called me (thats his contact name in my phone bc hes hairy as fuck), then my friend Alexandra called me because she was late and stuff, and THEN ‘Gordon Bio van de Buurt’ (Gordon Bio (as in biology, autocorrect corrected boi to bio so yah) of the Neighborhood (like the ghetto i guess?)) called me. What’s funny is that they all called me like 10 seconds after one another so yeah HA.

Text Message : it was actually a picture of Seungcheol facepalming (pm me if y’all want to see which pic bc its amazing)

Song you listened to : Bring It - SEVENTEEN (bitch thats my jAM)

Time you cried : Cried in a sad way is a few weeks ago when I was fucking insecure about everything. Cried from laughing was yesterday, but like whenever I laugh, I tear up, no joke

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice : Nop

Kissed someone and regretted it : I’ve actually never kissed anybody

Been cheated on : Not that I know of?????

Lost someone special : I’m not even sure??? Like my dad and I don’t have the best relationship together (like at all) so idk if I could say I lost him or not???? Idk if he’s even someone special in my eyes?

Been Depressed : Yup.

Gotten drunk and thrown up : I don’t drink, I’m a good girl

3 Favourite Colours!

Red

Baby pink

Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made new friends : Many! And I’m so happy

Fallen out of love : Yes, my ex-boyfriend (whom I was extremely in love with) turned out to be gay, so that was like ... yyyyyupppp

Laughed until you cried : All the time, every time I laugh, not even kidding about this

Found out someone was talking about you : :)))

Met someone who changed you : I’m the kind of person who changes depending on the person who I’m hanging out with, so yes. But also some shit I’ve been through with my father made me see who he really was :)))

Found out who your real friends are : Yeah, but trust me, it’s not a lot

Kissed someone on your Facebook list : I don’t kiss, people dISGUST ME (jk omf but like i havent kissed yet)

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life : 72/74

Do you have any pets : Nop, I’m allergic ;w;

Do you want to change your name : Idk what to so nah I’ll pass

What did you do for your last birthday : I hung out with my ex (the one who is gay) and he treated me for sushi~ 

What time did you wake up : ... 12:00 pm...

What were you doing at midnight last night : I WAS WATCHING MY BOY JACKSFILMS

Name something you can’t wait for : All the KPOP comebacks???? duh?? But also I can’t wait for my teachers to grade tests

When was the last time you saw your mom : She’s right in front of me making a puzzle.

What are you listening to right now : DEAD ASS A FAT ACCEPTANCE CRINGE COMPILATION IMNOTEVENSORRY

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom : Yeah, he was in my class in elementary school~

Something that is getting on your nerves : My phone charges slowly right now and I really have to pee but im too lazy to get up

Most visited website : YouTube, my school website, Tumblr

Hair colour : I’m a blonde bitch

Long or short hair : It’s pretty long, almost reaches my butt

Do you have a crush on someone : @ vernon @ seokmin

What do you like about yourself : [im gonna pass this question]

Blood Type : A, I match with my boy vernon

Nickname : Alien (because my real name sort of sounds like that), cunt

Relationship Status : Mentally in a relationship with Seok and Vernon

Zodiac : Pisces~

Pronouns : She/her

Favourite TV Show : Changes all the time actually, right now probably Skin Wars?? (im watching it on netflix tho..)

Tattoos : Nope, but I really want to get one!

Right or Left handed : if you see my handwriting, youd say neither, but im actually right handed

Surgery : Only a little procedure to pull a tooth down that was growing incorrectly

Sport : I dance in my free time, but I’m planning on going to a gym

Vacation : My last ‘vacation’ was to Indonesia, for an exchange program with school

Pair of shoes : Uhh.. like just converse or vans or smth, idk idc

Eating : Doritos

Drinking : I really want to say Monster but im not about energy drinks, also im not drinking anything rn

Im about to : Do a lot of tags..

Waiting for : me to finally get up and pee

Want : mORE CLOTHES, MORE MONEY, MORE SHOPPING (and i rlly want seokmin and hansol but ok lets be realistic)

Get married : Hopefully

Career : I’m still in high school, fam

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses : Hugs bc idk kisses :))))))

Lips or eyes : eyes for sure

Shorter or taller : Taller, anything above 170 cm is good for me tho (sorry woozi ;w;)

Older or younger : Older, idk why but I dont see myself dating someone younger

Nice arms or stomach : aRMS

Hook up or relationship : relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant : troublemaker

Kissed a stranger : nop

Drank hard liquor : nop

Lost glasses/contact lenses : i dont need either xD

Turned someone down : yes, mY TWO BEST GUY FRIENDS RGEIJFSK

Sex on the first date : nope

Broken someones heart : Probably my two guy friends, but idk? they seem fine

Had your heart broken : yES

Been arrested : nope

Cried when someone died : yes

Fallen for a friend : no? idontthinkso?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself : no

Miracles : No

Love at first sight : yes

Santa : (again, i dont celebrate santa, so no..)

Kiss on the first date : stop making me feel bad ive never kissed anybody

i tag all my mutuals, im too lazy to tag lmfao sorrY

[uberff]

Chapter 3

                                                        Jaylen

“Yo, you always smoking.” Odell complained as he coughed from all the smoke that was going around. Nobody told his bored ass to come over here. He need to be some where chilling wit his sister or somebody. Somebody find this nigga a friend.

“And you always in my face, but you don’t see me complaining bitch.” I shrugged as I blew smoke out my nose. I hated when people complained about my smoking habits. It ain’t like I’m out here smoking cigarettes. When he text me, I specifically told him that I was smoking and when I’m smoking, I like to be left alone.

“Some people live for the powerrrr yeaaaaa..” I sang lowly as I closed my eyes. I wasn’t in my feelings or nun of that shit. I was just more of an R&B type of dude. I mean I fucks wit rap heavy, but sometimes I just wanna relax and vibe.

“Nigga I came over to talk about my problems and you singing and shit. Wuttice this? A Tyler Perry play?” He sucked his teeth. Him and Winter we’re going through it like always, and he wanted advice. I would’ve been left her difficult ass if you ask me.

“Boy you better drop her ass and keep it pushing.” I told him as he straight faced me. I guess he ain’t like that idea.

“What you want from me, Bruh? I asked you if you wanted to hit this and you said no.” I waved him off. Don’t get me wrong, I’d help my nigga in a heartbeat but right now I was vibing and I wasn’t about to let NOBODY kill my fucking mood after this bitch just pissed me off.

I was fucking wit this one chick, and I ain’t even gone lie I told her we were together just so I could hit. She finally got the memo that I was lying and gone try and cut me off. Like damn, it wasn’t even that serious Judge Judy ass bitch. Then she got the nerve to get a new nigga. Unbelievable.

“I’m out, you pissing me off.” He chucked up the deuces as I laughed. It was funny when he got mad cause this nigga be ready to kill somebody once you push his buttons.

Staring around at my now spotless condo, I thought of all the things I could do. I wasn’t into all that social media and TV shit so most of the time I just sit here when I’m not painting. Well except Twitter, that shit be lit.

“Where’s Odell?” Winter barged through my door, looking like Cleo from set it off. I don’t know why the fuck her voice was so damn deep. I thought she was one of my niggas.

“Chill Remy Ma, barging in here like you pay my bills. Fuck wrong witchu’?” I asked as I got up and stood in front of her. She looked like she wanted to slap the shit outta me for saying that. I wanted to laugh so bad, but truth be told I was lowkey scared of her ass. Hell, everyone was scared of her except Odell cause he knew how to handle her ass.

“I didn’t come to joke around with you, where is he?” She asked as she started moving everything around. That’s where she fucked up. I just cleaned up.

“Oh no baby, what is you doing? Wrecking my shit like you the Incredible Hulk or some shit. Dumbass, he’s at his fucking crib.”

“Fight me Jaylen.” She said as I looked at her like she was crazy. I guess she was tired of my shenanigans. I don’t give a fuck.

“You wild. Go eat a snickers.” I chuckled at her as I pet the top of her head. She scrunched up her face, and before she could say anything I politely walked her to the door before slamming it in her face. “Damn nigga can’t get no privacy anymore.” I shook my head as I locked the door.

I hated locked doors, but I ain’t finna deal with they crazy asses. As I walked into the kitchen, I started to think about the bomb ass meal that my nigga Rob made for me a few days ago. Shit, I wish her little ass was the mea-

The sound of my phone ringing cut off my unholy thoughts. “What?” I answered with attitude without checking the caller I.d. It was a FaceTime call.

“Jaylen!” I heard my little sister Jayla voice. My whole mood completely changed. Jayla was my fucking heart, my everything.

“Hey pretty girl! I haven’t seen your little pretty face in a minute, what you been up to?” I smiled in the camera as she blushed causing me to laugh. She was adorable.

My dad’s girlfriend had Jayla a few years ago and she was the cutest little ball of energy. My dad’s girl on the other hand? Nah man, that bitch was ghetto. I don’t understand why he even got with her. It’s hard to believe she birthed something so precious.

“Learning my ABC’s!” She smiled showing one of her missing teeth. She had just started school this year and it sucked that I couldn’t be there, but summer was coming up so hopefully she can spend it here with me. That would be dope.

“That’s good! Let me hear you sing them.” I told her as she cleared her throat and started singing her ABC’s. Jayla actually had a voice. Reminded me of my momma. Everyone knew Momma J could sang her ass off. My dad had a few skills, but no one could top ma dukes.

“Aye! That’s my girl! You being a good girl for your dad?” I asked as she nodded innocently. She may have looked innocent, but she was a handful.

“Nigga I’m yo daddy, too.” I heard my dad’s voice in the background causing me to chuckle. My dad was really a trip. Funniest man alive, I swear.

“Sup pops?” I laughed as he picked Jayla up and both of their faces were in the camera. They were twins.

“Nah don’t try to claim me now. This fool tripping Jayla.” He joked as I laughed. “Go help ya mom real quick.” He told her as she ran away smiling.

“How you been, son?” He asked, realizing we haven’t talked in a while. Don’t get me wrong, we were mad close but niggas been busy. Plus, I know he been busy with working and Jayla.

“Good, gettin’ to this money.” I cheesed as I pulled a stack out my pocket and flashed it to him. He chuckled and shook his head. My dad was a wealthy man also, but it felt good to know that I ain’t have to depend off of him.

“What about you though?” I asked, getting serious.

“Same shit man. Jayla’s a fucking handful. It’s like lil mama don’t ever get tired. Reminds me of you.”

“Me? How?” I don’t remember acting like Jayla at all. I was a sweet lil innocent kid. I ain’t hurt a fly.

“Boy you know you used to climb walls and shit like you was Spider-Man.” He joked a he let out his ugly ass Windex bottle laugh. Nigga stayed laughing at his own corny ass jokes.

“Akikiki, you ain’t funny old man.” I mugged him while he continued to laugh. Somebody come get they pops.

“Damn, I miss you son. We gotta come out there and visit soon.” He said as his laughter died down.

“You know you can come whenever, just make sure you take yo baby mama back to the hood before you come.” I assured him as he chuckled, putting his fist up to his mouth. He thought it was funny every time I talked about her cause he knew it was true.

“Besides all that shit, she cool. I mean yea, she a lil loud but-”

“JAYCEON! IM TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YO ASS!” I heard her loud voice yell in the background as he jumped making me snicker. “I rest my case.” He flicked me off.

“Fuck up, Ima talk to you later.” He hung up before I could even say anything else. Man I was looking forward to them coming down here. It would’ve been nice if my mom could too. Even though they wasn’t together, they were still cool.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of my head, I scrolled through my contacts to find Rob’s contact. A nigga was starving.

Tapping on her name, the phone rang for quite some time before her face appeared in the camera. “Eh, you ugly in the morning.” I laughed as her swole face was all in the camera. I was kidding, but she did look like a blow fish when she woke up.

My smirk was soon wiped off of my face when I heard the 3 beeps. This motherfucker. I ain’t even finna call her back, I’ll just go buy something to eat.

“Nah let me start picking bitches up, a nigga bored.” I mumbled to myself as I clicked into the Uber app and made myself available.

**

Once I was at my destination, I thanked God cause a nigga’s feet was starting to hurt. I was at a nice looking hotel, waiting on this person to come out. This was like the 8th person I’ve picked up.

The petite girl came out with sunglasses and a big hoodie, struggling with her duffle bag. I would help, but she a big girl she got it.

As she finally got in the car, I drove off. “Fuck, I didn’t even have time to catch my breath. Thank you for being such a gentleman.” She said sarcastically. I knew that attitude from anywhere.

“Who you getting smart wit?”

“Jaylen?” She asked as she pulled her glasses off.

“Didn’t I just buy yo ass a car? What you doing here?” I rose an eyebrow as I noticed her long brown curls  that flowed down her back. She made them loook good on her. 

This whole time, Rob was at a hotel that was like 30 fucking minutes away. She had a whole big ass room at home, what was she doing here?

“I don’t drive in the rain, thanks.” She said as she brought her head up from her lap.

“You trying to go to my place or what?” I asked her, noticing it was getting a little dark out.

“Sure, why not?” She said nonchalantly. She know she wanted to come over, I always showed her a good time whenever she did.

“Don’t say it like you don’t wanna come, cause you know you do.”

“What you got planned?” She looked over at me with a smirk. Let me find out Rob a freak.

“First, we can fuck for a few hours then-”

“I’m serious!” She playfully hit my chest. Little did she know, I was serious too. I would fuck the shit out of Robyn.

“Aight.. wanna play 2k?” I ain’t really have shit else to do, and it would be nice to whoop her ass in something. She looked like she sucked in 2k.

“Yo simple ass would ask that.. but sure why not?” She said, flashing me her pearly whites. She was fucking pretty man.

This was gone be a long night due to the fact that I couldn’t try nothing with her.

**

Bumping to some PAC, I mumbled the lyrics as I swept up the kitchen. I loved cleaning on Sunday’s, it just felt nice to get everything out the way. I like my shit spotless. If someone drops like one drop of water on the floor, Ima make them clean it up. Call me a neat freak or whatever, I don’t care.

“They got money for wars, but can’t feed the poor.” I rapped as I searched around for the dustpan.

As I was sweeping, I started to think about this art show I had coming up in 2 weeks. I wanted everything to be perfect. This was going to be my first show, and boy I was nervous as hell. I think I got this.

Me and my mom always talked about this day..

I was knocked out of my thoughts when one of my phones started ringing. I didn’t even know where that bitch was at. “Dawg, I just cleaned this damn living room.” I sighed as I realized I was gone have to rip and run all up and through here. Just when I thought I was almost done cleaning..

I was lazy as hell, but I knew it was one of my clients cause my personal phone is in my pocket. I wasn’t about to miss out on no money either.

As the ringing continued, I noticed that it had to be either in the couch or behind it. Moving the couch pillows all around, my Matte Black IPhone 7+ was lying there. Sucking my teeth, I noticed the phone eventually stopped ringing so I picked it up and checked the screen.

Loyal: GM Chris, what time did you say I needed to pick up the piece again?

Damn she hit a nigga with the dry ass abbreviations. “GM.” I mumbled to myself as I chuckled.

Cynthia was another loyal client of mine. She was my mom’s friend daughter. She’s been buying from me before my work even got out there and recognized. She was fine as hell, but I knew she ain’t take me serious. She’s 32 on her grown woman shit, and I know she ain’t got time to be messing wit me.

Me: Sup Cynthia, you can come pick it up at around 2. How does that sound?

Loyal: perfect! ️ see you at 2!

Tossing my phone back on the couch, I heard little footsteps coming down the stairs. I knew it was Rob lil lazy ass. “You finally up? Yo, I thought you was dead.” I said to her as she walked in the kitchen. I would’ve made breakfast for her too, but I seriously ain’t think she was gonna get up. And I shole wasn’t finna wake her. She seemed pretty tired.

She always looked so refreshed whenever she woke up. Her jet black straight hair was in a messy bun, while she wore a big t shirt and some bunny slippers. She a big ass baby I swear.

Before I could speak, I seen her open the microwave, about to take my plate out. “Oh no baby, what is you doing?” I said in my NOLA accent as I swatted her hand away. I had made MYSELF some honey butter biscuits, crispy bacon, fluffy eggs, hot grits, and a lovely side of pineapples that I cut up.

“What you mean? I’m-”

“Close mouths don’t get fed baby, that’s my food. I’ll buy you some Waffle House or some shit.” I assured her as she mugged me. I’d give her a piece of my pineapple or something, but she wasn’t getting my food. That’s something a nigga don’t share at all. I don’t care who you is.

“Trifling ass.” I heard her mumble under her breath as she started to look in my fridge. She pulled out the smoothie I had just bought from Smoothie King a few hours ago. Smoothie King hit the spot every time. I always got Island Impact.

“Who told you to get my smoothie?” I asked as I rose my eyebrow.

“Shut up, you got a whole meal over there.” She complained as she sipped some of the smoothie from the straw. Wasn’t she the one just complaining the other day about how she don’t know where my mouth been?

“Girl shut up.” I laughed as I got out another plate and started giving her some of my food. I don’t know how I feel about all this nice shit going on.

“Thanks. Can I see your laptop?” She asked with a cheesy smile. Huffing, I grabbed my Mac off of the couch and handed it to her.

“Wow, when you let people see your laptop can you make sure you exit out of your porn first?” She said as she chuckled lowly. It wasn’t no shame in my game. We all know what niggas do when they home alone. Get that lotion and laptop popping ASAP.

“Maybe you should get your own laptop.” I replied as she looked up from the screen.

“I do, but I don’t feel like going all the way next door just to get it when yours is right here.” She said she she grabbed her glasses that she had brought down here.

“Wanna hit this?” I asked as I snug my arm around her shoulder. She shook her head no as I sucked my teeth. I had a blunt behind my ear that I was saving for this moment.

I knew she was stressed out from whatever her and O was talking bout earlier cause it was all over her face. Plus, I knew her feet was killing her from the heels she been wearing all last night. I was just trying to get her to relax a lil bit.

“Come onnnn Rob, ion’ want you sitting there looking like a lost puppy all night. Smoke dis blunt wit me.” I told her as she looked at me for a quick second.

Taking the blunt out of my hand, she inhaled the smoke as she closed her eyes, blowing it out of her nose. Taking another hit, a smile spread across her face. Passing it to me, she sat back and put her feet on my lap. She lucky I like feets.

“What’s bothering you?” I asked her as I started to massage her feet. She sighed as she threw her head back.

“Just some stuff happened at my shoot yesterday when I was leaving. It’s fine, I’m good now.” I knew this motherfucker was lying, she not slick at all.

“You know I’m gone bring this up another time, right? I’ll drop it for now though.” I told her as she smiled.

As she closed her eyes again, my eyes wandered off onto her long, toned legs. I couldn’t help but rest my hand on her thick thigh. She tensed up a bit. “Relax.” I whispered in her ear as she loosened up. I know that made her wet for a fact.

She looked so good right now and I honestly just wanted her to sit on my face. “Let me eat your pussy, Robyn.” I blurted out as she didn’t react. It was as if she didn’t hear me.

“Ok..” she mumbled as a smirk plastered across my face. I knew she was too high to care.

My lips crashed against hers as she began to run her dainty hands down my tattooed covered chest and abs. She smelt so fucking good, like flowers and shit.

Carrying her to my room, I laid her on the bed breaking the kiss. I bit my lip admiring her body. I took off her skirt before climbing in between her legs. Kissing her lips while taking her bra straps off of her shoulders, I kissed her neck continuing to take her bra off exposing her bare, little perky titties. I’m glad she ain’t have nipple rings, a nigga was tired of tasting coins.

I licked her neck down to her perfect nipples sucking on each one gently making her moan unexpectedly. “Damn these is pretty.” I mumbled against her skin, causing her to chuckle.

Leaving trails of rough, sloppy kisses down her stomach, I made my way all the way to her inner thighs. I played with her wetness through her soaked panties. Her moans grew a louder as I used my thumb to circle her pearl. “J-Jaylen..” She moaned out. I swear to god that made my dick jump. The way she was biting her lip was so fucking sexy.

I slid her panties to the side, playing wit her pussy like a banjo. As I sucked her juices off of my fingers, I noticed her blushing. “You taste like candy, baby.” I complimented her as I slid her panties off before devouring her pussy like it was my last meal.

I licked and sucked before kissing her other set of lips. Slurping up her juices, I made my way back up to her clit to suck on it again. “Fuck Jaylen, don’t stop.” She moaned as she pushed my face deeper. Baby girl was trying to suffocate me.

“Arch ya back.” I got up as she looked at me confusingly, but still did as she was told. Baby girl was so fine, I wanted to eat her pussy from the back.

Becoming face to face with her pretty pink pussy, I swirled my tongue against it as she tried to run away. “Jaylen, I’m gonna cum!” She moaned loudly.

“Bring dat’ ass here.” I laughed as I pulled her by her legs. The vibrations from my mouth had her leaking. I slurped up her sweet juices before coming back up to her lips. Pressing my hard member against her, she wrapped her legs around my waist. I knew she wasn’t ready for the dick yet.

“You good?” I asked her as I hovered over her. She covered her hands over her face as she smiled.

“Oh god, I made a mess.” She said as she got up to look at the sheets where some of her juices were. Her face was covered in embarrassment.

“You good, I got it.” As I started to take the sheets off of my bed, she went to the bathroom to go clean herself up.

By now, my dick was hard as a rock and I knew she wasn’t gonna give me no pussy that easy. A nigga was not trying to get blue balls and I wasn’t about to beat my meat.

“Hey, I’m gonna go shower at home and bring a few things over here. So I should be back in like 2-3 hours.” She said as she started putting her clothes back on. Perfect.

Nodding, she jogged out my room. Looking over in the corner, I noticed her thongs on the floor. “Aye Rob!” I called out, hoping she hadn’t left yet.

“Yea?” She asked as I heard her tiny footsteps getting closer to the room. She peeked her head in the door.

“You left yo panties over der’.” I pointed to the corner as she giggled. Shaking my head, I laughed along with her. Grabbing them, she proceeded to leave again.

Sighing out of relief, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and went straight to my messages and clicked on her number. I know if Robyn knew about this, she’d be pissed but it wasn’t like she was my girl or some shit so it shouldn’t matter.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of my head, I sent her a text.

Me:  come ride me 🤤

ole girl: 🤦🏽‍♀️ “when I want sum dick, I will call u”

Me:  stop playing

ole girl: omw

She literally lived around the corner so I knew I had enough time.

**

“Ah, fuck.” I moaned as I felt myself release inside of her. I didn’t even give a fuck if she heard me or not, that shit felt so fucking good. Before I could even move, she pushed me off of her.

“Jaylen, I know you did not just fucking nut in me.” She gritted as she looked down at her pussy.

“Huh?” Even if I wanted to pull out, I couldn’t because she had her fucking legs wrapped around my waist. Plus, she was on the pill when we was together so I assumed she still was. What was she tripping about?

“Huh?” She mocked me as she looked at me like I was crazy.

“Why you trippin’? You said you was on the pill.” She act like she couldn’t just go take a Plan B.

“Bitch I was talking about xanax.” She groaned as she started to panic.

“Chill-”

“Shut up! I swear, I’m done coming over here. You only last for 10 fucking minutes anyways.” She ranted, clearly pissed as she got her belongings.

“So what? It ain’t my fault you got good pussy.” I shrugged, realizing she tried to make me mad. I ain’t give a fuck.

“You say the dumbest shit ever.” She mugged me as dropped her stuff. She went in the bathroom to run some water and I was gonna tell her she had to go until  Rob text me.

Robyn: Jay, I’m just now getting out the shower and I’m really sleepy so I’ll just come by in the morning. k?

Me: bet. goodnight lil one

Robyn: goodnight

Chuckling at the emoji she sent, I sat my phone back on the nightstand before making my way into the bathroom.

I looked by the tub, and she wasn’t in there so I guess she was in the shower.

“Aye..” I called her as I tapped on the glass. She jumped so fast that I couldn’t help but laugh. She rolled her eyes.

“Can’t you play music in here?” She asked referring to the shower. Nodding, I grabbed the remote so I could play music from her phone.

“K thanks, bye.” She said as the music started to play. It was some R Kelly, so I had no choice but to fuck her again.

“How you gone kick me out my own bathroom. Who you think you is?” I looked at her as she scrunched up her face. I swear she acted like she was a fucking queen and like everybody should worship her.

“Me…”

“So? What that mean?” I asked as she ignored me. I took that as my chance to stare at her body.

“Let me get it from the back real quick.” I bit my lip as she shook her head no.

“Hell no, not after that shit you just pulled.”

“Pssh.” I gave her a ‘yea ok’ look. Sliding in the shower with her, I pretended to bathe so she wouldn’t say anything. Grabbing her by her waist, I started to rub my tip at her opening.

“Jaylen, I’m not pl- Fuck!” She moaned, as I rammed into her with no warning. I knew I’d have her bent over in this shower in no time.

“Yea, what’s that shit you was talkin’?” I asked smacking her ass, as I yanked a handful of hair, making her look back at me. She liked that type of shit.

I knew she was gonna fuss at me for getting her hair wet since she just got it done, but I ain’t give a fuck.

                                                      Robyn

As I was catching up on 13 reasons why, I heard a big pop go off in the kitchen. It smelled like something was burning. “What the hell you do, Robyn?!” Odell asked as he ran in the kitchen to go see what was wrong.

Huffing, I paused the TV before jogging to the kitchen. The smoke alarm started to go off. “Who forgets to put water in they noodles?” He sighed as he shook his head. I haven’t ate cup noodles in so long.I wanted to laugh, but I knew O was really mad because he hates the whole burnt smell.

“This shit ain’t funny. Knowing you, the house will probably be burnt down or shot up by next week! You need to be more responsible, damn.” He snapped as I scrunched up my face.

“Someone’s got an attitude..” I mumbled as he came from back around the corner. I didn’t feel like arguing, that would defeat the purpose of me smoking that blunt.

“Don’t nobody got no fucking attitude, I’m just tired of living with an irresponsible ass little girl. You broke my fucking trophy and you expect me not to be mad? Fuck outta here.” His 5'11 frame towered over me. I sorta kinda was being lazy to get up and throw my bottle away, so I tried to throw it in the trash can, but it ended up knocking down one of O’s trophies.

“And did I not apologize? You bringing it up 1000 times isn’t gonna bring it back O, you don’t have to rub it in my face. You act like I did it on pur-” he cut me off. I hated when people cut me off. That’s so rude.

“That’s not the fucking point! You don’t understand how much that shit meant to me! Damn I swear sometimes I wish we never ran into each other again.” He spat as it felt like my heart fell outta my chest.

“That’s how you feel?” I asked as I folded my arms over my chest. I knew I shouldn’t have moved in with him. I should’ve just got my own place like I planned on doing when I came out here for the first time.

Ignoring me, he walked off to his room before slamming the door. I can’t believe he said that. As much as I tried to hold back my tears, they didn’t hesitate to fall. God, I hated crying. Coming from Odell, that shit really stung. “Aye O, you got some rub- what’s wrong wit you?” Jaylen barged through the front door. He stopped in his tracks once he noticed me crying.

Great, now I have to hear his mouth. “Nothing Jaylen, I just wanna be alone right now.” I sighed as I jogged upstairs to my room. I guess I could finish watching Netflix since I was rudely interrupted.

Opening my laptop, I tried to turn it on but then I realized it was dead. Looking around for my charger, it was no where to be found.

“Where the hell is my laptop charger?” I asked myself as I thought about the last place I had it. I haven’t got on it recently, but I remember getting on Jaylen’s. I think I used it for his cause I remember him telling me that his broke. Sucking my teeth, I slid into my pink bunny slippers before going next door.

I didn’t bother knocking, because I knew his door was always unlocked. I don’t think he was here anyways, it was awfully quiet. Making my way to his room, I stopped once I seen him laid up with a girl while he was playing in her hair. This fucking hoe. I just wanted to throw a book at him, but he wasn’t my nigga.

“Jaylen, you seen my lap-” Before I could finish my sentence, he jumped up.

“Shit! Rob, do you fucking knock?!” He snapped as I scrunched up my face. I should be the one with an attitude, he just snatched my soul last night now he hugged up with someone else. I should’ve known.

“When do I ever knock? Just shut your stupid ass up. You mad cause you caught.” I rolled my eyes. I noticed the girl looking at me. She was gorgeous, I couldn’t even lie.

“Caught how? You ain’t my fucking girl.” He spat as my eyes widened. The audacity.. Slowly nodding, I chuckled bitterly before walking over to the nightstand. As he looked at me with a mug on his face, I swear I wanted to slap him. How dare he? He better not ever say shit to me.

Grabbing my charger, I walked out, pushing past Jaylen in the process. I couldn’t wait to tell Quavo about this bullshit. Slamming Jaylen’s door, I pulled out my phone before walking back into our living room.

I need to be sleep for my shoot tomorrow morning anyways. I don’t have time to be thinking about Jaylen.

**

“Girl, you are like a natural today!” My photographer boosted me, as everyone else agreed. I just had a lot on my mind today, so for right now this shit was a piece of cake. Modeling wasn’t something I always wanted to do. I didn’t really get interested until I was about 15.

I remember my mom would always tell me how pretty I was and how I could rock anything I wore. I didn’t have the best self-esteem, so after she continuously filled my head up with that.. I grew interested. I remember her telling me modeling was something she always wanted to do, but she ended up getting pregnant with me. Luckily, she started her own modeling agency which is one of the top agencies in the world. Wilhelmina.

Years later here I am modeling for Vogue, Balenciaga, Balmain, Puma, and etc. I just wish my mom was here to see all of this, I know she’d be proud.

 "Aaaaaaaand, that’s a wrap for today!“ He called out as everyone clapped, making me smile. The thought of going home and lying down in my bed sounded like the best thing ever right now.

Nothing was better than my bed. Saying my goodbyes to everyone, I went in one of the dressing rooms to change into some more comfortable clothes. Once I was done, I packed all of my stuff in a duffle bag and grabbed my phone to call Winter. I refused to drive the car that that hoe Jaylen bought me. He can have that shit back. I didn’t want anything to do with him. The way he tried to stunt on me like he didn’t know what I was talking about really pissed me off. Fucking coon.

“Hello?” She answered sounding like she was stuffing her mouth. I still wasn’t on talking terms with O and the only person I had left was Winter because Qua wasn’t in town.

“I’m ready now..”

“Oh girl I’m in the parking lot. I seen this seafood spot and you know my fat ass had to go in there and check it out. I been in my car eating this whole time.” Her greedy ass.. I couldn’t blame her though. Food was life.

“Okay here I come.” I hung up as I spotted her Barbie Pink Jeep from a distance.

“What you doing later?” I asked as I hopped in the car. Literally. Jeeps were hard to get in if you were short.

“Going out for drinks, I ain’t turned up in a minute.” “Girl please, you know you get like Wanda when you get drunk.” I joked in a serious matter, referring to Wonda from Holiday Heart. Whenever Winter gets drunk, it’s makes everyone wonder what the hell she was drinking or if it was even alcohol. This bitch is crazy when she’s drunk.

“I do not act like that. I’m classy.” She denied as I gave her the ‘yea ok’ look. Turning up the radio, I sat back in my sleep and drifted off to sleep.

When we got home, Jaylen was sitting on the couch writing in a notebook. Once he heard us, he looked up at me.

“Hey Robyn.” He tried to greet me as Winter and I walked through the door. Ignoring him, I went in the kitchen to get the food that I had got from Olive Garden yesterday. It was barely  any left, but I wasn’t that hungry anyways. I just thought that my nap would be much better if I ate something first.

“You ain’t hear me speak?” He asked as he stood behind me. His hot ass breath was all on my neck.

“Jaylen if I were you, I’d move. Your hot ass breath is burning my neck.” I warned him because I honestly wanted to just punch him in the face one good time. I’ve been wanting to for the longest. I don’t understand why he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did. To top everything off, he didn’t even apologize..

“Why you acting like this?“ 

“BECAUSE OF YOU! HOW DO YOU GIVE ME HEAD AND THEN GO LAY UP WITH ANOTHER BITCH NOT EVEN A FEW HOURS LATER! THEN YOU HAD THE NERVE TO STUNT ON ME? Fuck you Jaylen, you don’t deserve me at all. Not even as a friend.” I yelled as he looked down at the floor. He didn’t have shit to say. It’s not even just about the head part either. He was spending all this time with me, flirting and shit when he already had someone all along. So I feel played.

“I don’t even see why you trippin’ though.. like you act like I cheated on you some shit. I’m single, I can do what I want.” He stated, causing me to chuckle bitterly. Without thinking, I slapped the dog shit out of him.

“That’s what you get, ugly ass.” I heard Winter laugh from the living room. “Bit-” He cut his sentence short, because he knows I’d beat his ass again if he would’ve let that word slip. Looking at me one last time, he touched his face again before leaving.

I should’ve known he wasn’t shit from the first time we met. I’m about to start looking for somewhere else to stay right now. I can’t stand to stay here any longer.

**

Making a quick trip to Walmart, I went in to grab a few things I could eat as a snack once I found another hotel to stay at.  "Yo,“ I heard a male voice behind me. Turning around to face him, I noticed that he was a cutie.

"Yea?”

“Ion’ know how to say this but.. you got a big ass pool of blood on the back of ya pants. You good?” He stated as my heart sunk. The feeling of embarrassment took over my body.

Not knowing what to say, I just grabbed my basket and power walked away to my car.

“Yo, chill! It’s fine, you can use my jacket!” He called out before catching up to me. Hesitating at first, I wasted no time in tying his jacket around my waist.

“You drove?” He asked as he looked down at me trying to tie the jacket around my waist. I feel really bad because now he’s gonna have blood on his jacket. I mean yea, I can always wash it out but still.

“Caught an Uber.”

“Well.. you safe wit me, I promise.” He assured. Well, it was just as if I was taking an Uber because he was a stranger also so I guess it wouldn’t hurt if he drove me home. Plus it was free.

“Thank you so much, really. I can buy you another ja-”

“Nah, its cool. I’m glad that I could help. You sure you good though? That was a lot of uh.. blood.” He said as we walked over to his car. Opening up the door for me, he watched me get in before closing it. What a gentleman. Nice to know that chivalry still exists.

“Yea its normal.. unfortunately.” “Damn.. this why I got mad respect for women. I know it gotta be hard being one. I grew up in a household full of em’.”

“We need more men like you then, cause niggas be quick to be disrespectful as hell to us.” I shook my head as he laughed.

“What’s ya name?” He asked as he started up the car, handing me his phone to type my address in.

“Robyn, you?” I smiled as I handed him his phone back.

“Kai.” He smiled back, dimples deepening and all.

“Where are you from?” I just had to ask, because I could hear some New York in the way he talks. I grew up here for a few years so I know.

“You trying to be funny?” He rose an eyebrow as he looked over at me. “Not at all..”

“Brooklyn..” he stated as I nodded. I knew it.

“Well we here now..” he said as his car came to a stop. I didn’t even want to get out because the seats were so comfortable. I wonder what he does to have a car like this..

“I don’t even wanna go home..” I sighed, making him laugh. His laugh was actually cute. He’s the first guy I know that doesn’t have that Windex bottle laugh.

“I would say you could come to ma crib, but you don’t know me like that and I don’t know if you’d be comfortable or not.” He explained as I shrugged. Any where was better than being in a place with Odell.

“I’ll stay for a little while, but you mind taking me back home?” I asked as he shrugged. I needed to go buy my own car ASAP. I hated depending on people.

“That’s cool..”

“Well, I wanna atleast shower first so you wanna come in?”

“Uh.. yea.” He said as he turned his car off. Getting out, I led the way up to the elevator.

“I ain’t getting on that shit, a nigga will take the stairs.” He backed away as I furrowed my eyebrows. This nigga was like 6'5, don’t tell me he’s scared of elevators. We’re too old for that.

“Why not?”

“Girl you ain’t seen that movie called Devil? Fuck that.” A loud laugh immediately escaped my lips.

“Really? It was just a movie, it isn’t real.” “Nah, ion’ care I’m still taking the stairs. I’ll meet you or some shit.” I rolled my eyes and went towards the stairs with himZ

“And you call yourself a thug, huh?” I laughed as I shook my head.

“So I can’t be scared of dying in a elevator? I ain’t tryna go out like dat. I could atleast get shot or sum, but elevator? Nah B.” The fact that he was dead serious was funny.

“You are a mess.” As I reached the last stair, I dramatically sighted because I was really tired. I go up these things sometimes, so I don’t understand how I don’t have a fat ass yet.

“You’re not tired?”

“Nah, this ain’t shit. Try running’ track and playing ball all ya life.”

“You play sports?” He seemed like a pretty boy that just liked the sport, but didn’t play it.

“Not anymore.. You don’t notice this limp in my walk? I had broke my leg and ever since then a nigga been scared to get back on the court/track. It ain’t gone be the same.” He explained as I studied his legs. He walked with a little dab of a limp, but you couldn’t really tell unless he pointed it out.

“You can’t give up that easily..” I told him as I stopped in front of the door so I could unlock it.

“This all you?” He asked as he walked further into the condo. I hope Nut 1 and Nut 2 weren’t here. I knew they would give him a hard time.

“No, my brother lives here.” I rolled my eyes as I sat my purse on the counter. Going up the stairs, I stopped once I realized he was still looking at everything in the living room. “You coming?”

“Oh yea.” He chuckled as he trailed behind me. Opening up the door to my room, smiled because it was just the way I left it.

“Damn yo room look like some sex would be bomb in here.” He said as he sat on my bed. Waving him off, I looked in my drawers to grab a new pair of underwear and some clothes to change in.

“You need me to run you some bath water?” He asked as he kicked his shoes off. I see he gets comfortable easily.

“Aww you’re so sweet, but no thanks. I already asked my brother girlfriend to run it.” I had text Winter while I was in the car.

Sneaking off into the bathroom, I lit a candle before throwing my clothes in the hamper. I need to throw them in the washer when I get out. I needed a blunt so bad, and I didn’t know if he like the smell of weed or not so I was gonna do it in here while I was in the tub.

As I stepped foot in the tub, my body immediately relaxed due to the hot and soothing water. I really needed this. “Yo, you loud then a bitch.” I heard Kai’s voice as I started coughing up a storm. I don’t know why my dumbass thought he wasn’t gonna be able to smell it.

“Kai!” I called out as he peeked his head in the bathroom a few seconds later. Luckily, my tits were small as shit so the bubbles were covering everything up.

“Wanna hit?” I asked with a smile on my face. He sat on top of the toilet and took the blunt from my hands. As soon as he inhaled it, his lungs gave up on him.

“Damn girl, fuck is this?” He coughed loudly as I busted out laughing. I honestly didn’t even know what it was, but this shit was good as hell. It was some weed Jaylen  gave me a few days ago.

“That good shit.” I said lowly with my eyes closed.

“Do you even smoke?” I asked as I opened one eye. He damn near lost his life when he took that first puff, so I knew he didn’t smoke on the regular. That’s cute though.

“Occasionally..” he replied as I nodded. I could relate. I wasn’t a stoner, but I had my days where I needed to smoke and lately I’ve been needing to.

“Here, you can have the rest I’m gonna finish bathing.” I told him as I handed the blunt back to him. Taking it, he got up and went back in my room so I could bathe.

After lying in the tub, I let all of the water out and went over to the shower. I showered for atleast 30 minutes, before getting out. Rubbing my body down with Shea Butter, I started to put on my clothes.

When I opened the door, I noticed Kai sprawled out across my bed. He looked like he was sleeping. “Kai? Are you dead?” I asked as I poked him.

“Nah,” He paused before laughing.

“A nigga just thinking.”

“Oh well.. I’m ready to go.”

“Aight let me find my phone.” He said as he turned the flashlight from his phone on to look under my bed. He was high as shit.

“Kai.. it’s in your hand.” I palmed myself as he looked at me before looking at his hand. He busted out laughing before grabbing his keys.

“Oh shit, I didn’t even see it.” Closing the door behind us, we made our way outside to his car. Opening the door for me, I got in as he closed it afterwards. Once he was in, he started the car and pulled off before turning his radio up. He was blasting MoneyBagg Yo.

Bobbing my head to the music, I looked at all the surroundings as I waited for him to reach his house. After what seemed like forever, we pulled up to this gigantic house. I know he doesn’t live here by himself..

“Kai! What do you do?” I exclaimed as I got out of the car and ran to the door like an kid in a candy store. I don’t know how he stays in this big house by himself. You could easily get lost in here, that’s how big it is.

“Don’t like to brag.. but ya boy got money.”  He smirked as he took his keys out to unlock the door.

“How? Can’t be drug money, cause you seem like a good boy.” I said as he stepped aside to let me go in first. It looked even better on the inside.

“Girl at all, and I own 10 different barber shops all across the U.S.” He said as he rubbed his hands like Birdman.

“Seriously?” That was fucking dope.

“Deadass.” He states causing me to chuckle. Admiring his house, I started to look at some of the pictures that was on the wall. I noticed that there was a little girl in almost every picture. His daughter?

“Who’s this?”

“My beautiful baby girl…” He said with a smile on his face. I was going to ask where was she, but he beat me to it.

“She uh… died a few years ago.” He said as he stared at the biggest picture of them two above the couch. It was honestly beautiful. She was the splitting image of him.

“Wow, I’m sorry.” I frowned. I didn’t want to ask him how, because I felt as if that was too personal or maybe he didn’t want to talk about it. Who would?

“Yea, you thirsty though?”

“Yes, do you have any Tea?” He nodded as I followed him into the kitchen. His whole crib was nice. I’d love to have a place like this.

“I love these!” I yelled excitedly as I seen the chili lime pistachios in a bowl on the table.

“Everybody does, that’s why I keep them there.”

“Here, we finna go in my room.” He said as he handed me my cup of tea and led me to a corner where his room was. I wonder what was upstairs then.

“Your room is even better!” I gasped as I stood at the door in shock. His room was so interesting and cozy looking. I loved dark areas.

“It’s ight.. wanna watch a movie or some shit?” He asked as he went up the stairs to get to his bed.

“Let’s watch Baby Boy.” I suggested as he looked at me before laughing. I know that movie comes on BET 24/7 but I was just in the mood to watch it.

Kicking off my slides, it was indeed cold in here so I’m glad I had some socks and a big hoodie on. Climbing in the bed, I watched him as he looked through a collection of movies.

Once he found what he was looking for, he put it in before cutting the lights off and getting in the bed. “Your bed is so comfortable.” I said as I closed my eyes and laid back on the pillows.

“Watch this.” A few seconds later the bed felt like a vibrating chair causing me to moan lowly. I needed this bed. Now.

“Kai, I would kill for this bed.” Since I was in heaven right now, I started to drift of to sleep before the movie even started. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t mind. He knew what he was doing when he cut the vibrating thing on.

“Lil mama..” I heard Kai’s voice in my ear as he shook me.

Groaning, I turned the other way so he could leave me alone. His bed was so comfortable and I wasn’t getting up for nothing. “I thought you wanted me to take you home.”

“No I wanna stay..” I mumbled.

“Well shit don’t be trying to wake a nigga up in the A.M. then, cause I’m telling you once I’m sleep it’s like I’m dead.” He said as he turned the TV off. Good, because I hated sleeping with the TV on unless I was home alone. I felt the bed get lighter, so I’m guess he got up but I didn’t care.

“Ima be in the guest room. You can sleep in here.” I heard him say.

I was too tired to say anything back. I’ll just call an Uber in the morning.                                                     

[kumacrunch]

im going to regret posting this

I have never felt beautiful. 

Never in my life have I connected the words “pretty” “gorgeous” “cute” or “beautiful” to myself.  From as young as being a 5 year old in kindergarten I told myself I would never get married, that I was going to die alone. I’ve always been the fat kid, no matter what.  I don’t have enough fingers to count how many times someone has said “Alright just don’t sit on me!” when I would get angry.  When I would attempt to draw myself when I was a child, because I was the “art kid” in elementary school, I would draw myself thin because I drew everyone with the same body, I didn’t understand anatomy or body shapes at all. And I can always distinctly remember there was a point in time where one of my male classmates came over to me and saw my drawing and told me “That’s wrong. You are *NOT* that skinny. Draw it again and don’t lie this time.” That haunts me to this day. I am now a senior in high school. I can guarantee that boy has forgotten I even exist. But I remember him perfectly. His name, his face, the way he dressed, his voice, everything. No matter how many times I try to forget I can still manage to remember him and what he said to me. He’s managed to sear himself into my brain forever. So thank you Brandon Holmes, for telling a 4th grader they cant draw themselves any other way than how they actually appear.  Now I’m 17 and hate everything about myself. I’m not putting all the blame on that boy from elementary school, but he certainly contributes. I’ve grown up hating my face and body and hair and personality. Just fucking everything. I don’t know why, I just do.  I’ve tried to pick myself apart and find at least one thing about myself that I can like, but it just doesn’t work. I’ll like it one day and then something will just make me hate it that much more.  And people are going to tell me “You must like yourself, you take and post selfies all the fucking time you attention seeking lying bitch.”  Well lemme tell you something there pal, If I don’t people with think one of two things: 1) I’m a creepy 45 year old man stalking people online being some sort of predator or 2) that I’m actually a cringey 11 year old using the internet for the first time.  And if I’m going to be completely honest here, fuck you. I can do whatever and post whatever I want and still have negative feelings about myself, so suck my dick honestly.  Society tells us to love ourselves, but turns around and also tells us we need to look a certain way to be considered attractive or beautiful. Whether it be the clothing industry or the makeup industry, it’s all the same. If you aren’t tall, white, and have one of the three b’s of hair color (blonde, black, brunette)  you aren’t pretty. If you don’t contour and highlight your face to the point of not looking like yourself and don’t have lips that sick out two inches from your face then you aren’t pretty. If you have any sort of birth marks, scar marks, or just markings in general you better cover them suckers up if you wanna make it in the fashion and beauty world honey. If you wear a size bigger than 0,1,3,or 5 then sucks for you you’re fat and need to go lose weight.  Plus size people aren’t allowed to have nice clothes. I’ve worn plus sizes all my life and designers make us some of the ugliest fucking things my eyes have ever seen. Like what the fuck? Why do you need to make us feel bad for wanting to make an attempt at feeling good about ourselves by not making the same clothes you make for thinner people in plus size? I have never met a plus size person that loves wearing plus size clothes unless they’re shopping in one neiched store that was shut down until recently. Or they’re miraculously thrifted it, or had to make it themselves. What the fuck is that saying about us as a society? I hate the public so much at times that it makes me want to vomit and scream at the top of my lungs while I smash and break things until I don’t have any energy left. Sometimes I just want to kill myself so I don’t have to deal with society and my own fucking brain beating me down into a fucking pulp. Do you know how draining it is to go shopping and end up crying in a dressing room when every cute piece of clothing you’ve picked out doesn’t fit even though it’s supposed to be in your size? I wear the same type of outfit every fucking day because it’s the only style that I have that doesn’t make me feel self conscious about something about myself. I wear jeggings, an undershirt, a graphic t-shirt, a flannel and either boots or trainers every. fucking. day. Sometimes I mix it up and throw a beanie on if I hate my hair in the morning. But that’s been my style, for 4 fucking years. Years. I keep saying “Oh I’d dress more *insert any sort of fashion style here* but I don’t have the body for it.” And my friends tell me to just “where whatever you want, who cares what anyone has to say!”  But that’s the thing. I care. I care a lot. I don’t need the negative attention I would get from dressing how I want to with the way I look right now. I don’t need to be categorized as “another nasty fat goth girl who eats her emotions.” Because I don’t need more people hating me for being fat than those who already do, myself being at the top of the list.  “Well why don’t you just exercise and change your diet and lose weight if you aren’t happy with how you look?”  Well, for starters:  1) I don’t do the grocery shopping in my house, so I eat what I’m given or starve to death. 2) I live in the fucking ghetto, if I try to go outside to exercise I’ll get fucking laughed at by the drug dealers down the street. 3) I don’t have a car or license to go to a gym, because driving gives me panic attacks and I also have no job to pay for a membership because trying to get a job at 17 is like trying to find fucking bigfoot or the lochness monster And you can tell me I’m making excuses for myself because i just don’t really want to do it all you want. You’d just be repeating everything I’ve already heard 4 million times. But that’s the truth of my situation right now.  This was supposed to be a poetry piece but it’s turned into me getting angry and complaining and ranting, whoops. This is why I’m not a writer. Oh well, I guess I’ll stop before I accidentally reveal some personal information about where I am or whatever. Fuck this post honestly. 

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

> Diznave: Chiznange into Four izzles Suited.

TG: there nizzy i wont be satisfying yo' crazizzle red fetizzle eitha

GC: >: I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier.'C GC: NOW 1 4M CRY1NG TOO YOU S33 WH4T YOU D1D 

TG: aizzy you git ta smell be blizzay TG: like licorice or sum-m sum-m TG: you hate licorice rizzy 

GC in tha mutha fuckin club: 1 LOV3 L1COR1C3 

TG: Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. shit TG: ok lizzle say i D-to-tha-izzont smell like licorice then TG fo yo bitch ass: i smell L-to-tha-izzike TG: Real niggas recognize the realness. a coal playa asshole 

GC: TOO L4T3 ridin' in mah double R! GC: 1T 4LR34DIZNY SM3LLS L1K3 L1COR1C3 S1NC3 YIZNOU S41D TH4T, 4ND NOW 1 C4NT UIZZY 1T 

TG: brotha TG: anyway TG: Holla! probably bout time i gots on with dis game TG: sizzle theze pointless sidequests yizzy W-to-tha-izzant drag me through fo` kizzle TG: hustla terezi funky ass frontin' you 

GC with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back W41T! Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. GC: YOU C4N'T D1TCH M3, W3V3 GOTS 1MPORT4NT STUFF TA DO TOG3TH3R

TG: unlikely 

GC: OH GC: H3IZZAY >:o GC: HOW D-YA KNIZZLE MAH N4M3? 

TG: yizzou told me rememba 

GC: Y34H, BUT 1 THOUGHT YOU FORGOT! 

TG: why would i forget 

GC wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: YIZZY S41D YOU W3R3 G-TO-THA-IZZO1NG TA M4K3 4 PIZZLE OF FORG3TT1NG! 

TG: oh TG: i guess i forgot i was suppoze' to forget 

GC: W3LL TH3N GC: M1ST3R D4V3 STR1D3R GC: 1 4M GL4D TH4T YIZZY FORGIZZLE TA FORG3T >, ya feel me?D 

TG: uh alright 

GC: OH so i can get mah pimp on!!! GC: SP34K1NG OF FIZZORG3TT1NG TA NOT FORG3T TH1NGS GC: 1 FORGOT TO SHIZZOW YOU TH1S GC aww nah: PR3TTY SPOT ON DIZZLE YIZNOU TH1NK GC: http://tinyurl.com/SPOTONSTR1D3R 

TG: whizzle tha hell 

GC: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4 GC: 4BSOLUT3 P3RF3CT1IZZAY gangsta style! GC: 4ND TH3R3 GO3S TH3 B1G M4N 1N H1S 34RTH SPORT, DR1V1NG TH3 HIZZY T-H-R-TO-THA-IZZOUGH TH3 P41NT........ GC: DIZZY GHETTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

TG: wizzy yo' obsessizzle wit blingin' dis goofy bullshit anyway TG: be it troll irony 

GC doggystyle: 1 H4V3 D3V3LOP3D 4 P4SS1ON FO` CIZZLE YO' 1NT3RN3T FO` TH3 COO' K1DS GC: 4ND M4K1NG TH3M CIZZY GC: BY STR1D3RFY1NG TH3M >:] 

TG: dizzay git me W-R-to-tha-izzong its off tha hook 

GC: TH4NK YIZZLE D4V3 GC: HON3STLIZZLE 1 TH1NK 1 4M 4 B3TT3R 4RT1ST TH4N 1 H4V3 PR3S3NT3D SO F4R GC: 1F ONLY 1 COULD DR4W YOU SIZNOM3TH1NG W1TH MAH CH4LK > with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin:\ GC: OH!!! GC: 1 KNOW, 1 C4N BORROW MAH FR13NDS DR4W1NG T4BL3T GC: 1 W1LL DO TH4T 1N 4 L1TTL3 WH1L3 

TG like a tru playa': thats coo' 

GC: D4V3 W3 S-H-TO-THA-IZZOULD TR4D3 SOM3 DR4W1NGS GC: YIZZOU 4ND M3 

TG: S-to-tha-izzure thats fine TG in tha dogg pound: im still gizzle go off n do mah own bustin' though TG: drug deala 

GC: W41T cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

TG: dizzle wizzy 

GC: OK 1 G3T TH4T YOU 4R3 TH1S R4D LON3R 4ND YOU TH1NK YIZZOU H4V3 1T 4LL F1GUR3D OUT GC: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. BUT HOW 4BOUT TH1S GC: 1F 1 4M M34NT TA H3LP YOU, TH3N YO' FUTIZZLE3 S3LF OUGHT TA V1S1T YOU R1GHT NIZZOW 4ND G1V3 YOU 4 THUMBS UP, R1GHT? GC: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. 1T W1LL B3 YO' WIZZY OF C-TO-THA-IZZONF1RM1NG TA YOURS3LF TH4T 1 C4N B3 TRIZZAY GC: TH3R3 1S NO W4Y YOU WIZNOULD PL4N TA DO TH4T 1N TH3 FUTUR3 1F YOU 3ND UP R3GR3TT1NG MAH H3LP GC: D-TO-THA-IZZO3S TH4T SOUND F41R? 

TG: yizzle fizzine but i doubt thizzat i TG paper'd up: oh fuck thizzay i be hid'n behind T-H-to-tha-izzat column 

GC and yo momma: >8D

> ==>

[43forcerecords-blog]

【Refugeecamp - New Biggie&Diddy(LYRIC)】

〔BRIDGE/LazySimon〕 Lazy and D-P still runin big fridge city いつも We never goin down like a hendrix Lazy and D-P still runin big fridge New biggie and diddy no dout no diggity

〔VERSE 1/LazySimon〕 Bitch you guess who that bitch you guess who that D-P and lazy they say i be demm On me so freaky my nike crean up I tryna be real one I tryna be real one

〔VERSE 2/DOMINO-P〕 何処も同じここも同じ 白黒が入り乱れる街 北からのTry 狙うTop billinの"B" お前がDay dream 見てる間にmove Hot過ぎる物をpush

〔VERSE 3/LazySimon〕 My homie still chase also me ふるえる かじかんだ手(hoo)Blow 彼らはenogh hood throne More 高い舞台に we going shoot yo Men on the moon and i raise the flag my hood oh

〔VERSE 4/DOMINO-P〕 今問われる真価 潮崎のシンカー ばりの魔球隠し持って仲間達とLean back 三者凡退クリーンアップ 手口ならばLegal 胸を張って鳴らすこの街が生んだHIPHOP

〔HOOK/LazySimon〕 All day we allright all day we allright I slide through the night just do your right

〔BRIDGE〕

〔VERSE 5/DOMINO-P〕 We never broke down ノーマークの穴馬が刺す最後のストレート どんぐりが平行する不健康なループ からはTake off 元は0 掴みに行くぜ1000を

〔VERSE 6/LazySimon〕 No break up my zone now Burn up  my zone now Some closed shop 中 D-P and Lazy ah Whish no my list ah gripping my real ah 抜け出したいSystem Just Do it, my kicks

〔VERSE 7/DOMINO-P〕 011 Double ground震わす音色 Based on true story "S" 始まりはGHETTO Who knows me? 知らねぇ奴も喰うのみ Play on music また気付けばすぐ5時

〔VERSE 8/LazySimon〕 From sapporoのbottom 音楽でmake cake 下らんないProblemは cook beef like beef stake On me so freaky I got my new key Smoking on some new shit Im all that way up

〔HOOK〕

Refugeecamp 1st Full Album “Raise The Flag” now on sale. Go get it!! ↓↓↓↓ http://43forcestore.com/items/5858c72e41f8e8c28c000c81

[phrynemegido]

List of shit I have thought or said

* (After making chili and cheese in a Tupperware container) Dis some ghetto shit if I've ever seen it.

* FUCK I HAVE CANDLES BURNING

* Can't I have one day without this complete bullshit?

* It pisses off straight white guys, of course I love it

* Look we're both chronic disasters whose huge dumb bitch energy is rivaled only by that of sitcom characters

* I am sick 24/7 anyways, I might as well be sick with pancakes.

* You have a deep seeded resentment for a little black cat

* I can't believe you have a rivalry with my cat

* You're so cute, you're so cute when you're not being evil.

* Do not challenge a theater bitch to karaoke

* HOLY FUCK I JUST MADE BREAD PERFECTLY ON MY FIRST TRY!!!!!!!! IM NOW GIVING OFF EVEN MORE CHAOTIC NATURE GODDESS VIBES!!

* SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONFISCATE MY YEAST I CANT STOP MAKING BREAD!!! Dear god I've made four loaves in the past week alone!

* Endeavors flaming tiddies are always funny

* I'm a genius gen z with no motivation nor desire to submit to a capitalist government system.

* I am barely functioning today, please don't ask me to do anything that is not immediately crucial to anything.

* ITS A SODA NOT SEX!!! Chill!!

* He's a snarky, sarcastic asshole, of course he's my favorite character.

* I swear to Persephone if I need to screw on one more fake ass smile for all these rude ass people I'm gonna fucking murder everyone in this building with a goddamned pencil.

* You godless travesty

* Don't fucking try me you leprechaun looking piece of ass cancer.

* *moms judging my cooking* OK YA KNOW WHAT?!?! EITHER MAKE IT YOURSELF NEXT TIME OR STOP CRITICIZING!!!!

* Oh please! You're so judgy I've heard people accidentally call you "Your Honor."

* IT SAYS DEATH IS IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!! HOW MANY FUCKIN WAYS CAN THAT BE INTERPRETED?!?!?!

* (Wrapped in a blanket burrito) I am no longer a shambling human, I am a beautiful chrysalis, eagerly awaiting the day I emerge as a stunningly beautiful lunar moth.

* Nah bro lunar moths are different from regular moths.

* Because he's fucking David, Trisha! This is exactly the type of shit he'd do!

* The reason I never fall for your pranks is because one, you are a king of pranks and japery, but I'm the goddamned Empress. Two because I don't trust a single fucking thing you say, I love you, but I don't trust you, and for good reason. You're a little shit.

* What the fuck is wrong with you? Like clinically, what's the medical term for whatever the hell is wrong with you on a psychological level.

* It's my first time drinking, so I'm just gonna go easy. (Two Busch Lights and half a Palm Breeze later) Honestly i cannot tell a difference except I'm a bit more peppy, like this is what I would be like if I didn't have anxiety. I could do another beer, I could, but I won't.

* Wait they couldn't finish a whole beer their first times? HOLY SHIT IM BEATING THEM AT SOMETHING!!

* did hE SHIT ON THE FLOOR AGAIN?!?!?!

* It has been a long fucking time since something other than my life made me cry actual tears, but this shit did it. An anime named fucking Banana Fish made me weep. It such a stupid fucking name, but I'll be damned if it is not fucking me up. I should not be watching something that emotionally compromises me like this when I'm seeing my therapist today.

* Ahh yes, the great shitstorm of August 2019.

* Thou shalt shut the fuck up while I am writing gay fanfiction.

* Oh genetics, why hast thou screwed me over so fucking royally?

* I am never having kids.

* I just hope I'm drunk by the time it's my turn

* Well the only other option is to get drunk alone in my room

* Back when I was a tiny little b cup....

* that does not look like a penis

* I didn't think you'd actually put the lotion on your tongue!

* I have no fucking secrets, ask me anything.

* Tell me your deepest secret about covens. I'm a solitary practitioner, I don't know shit about covens.

* Wellllll that's part of your search history now.

* Why are you screaming? I'm the one over $11,000 in hospital debt with type one diabetes and no insurance, if anyone should be screaming here it's me.

* IM BI, HIGH, AND READY TO DIE!!!!

* That's a good plan, but we can't just pee and eat chocolate all night.

* "Why can't you detect sarcasm?" It's called brain damage from over ten years of untreated anxiety and depression Deborah.

* Well don't put your tits in her face and you won't have lipstick on your brand new sweater. It's your own damn fault.

* In all fairness, spite is hella powerful motivation.

* (Said through a mouthful of Cinnamon Toast Crunch I was eating right from the bag for dinner) Let me eat like the teenage disaster gremlin I am.

* Well I guess I'm an anarchist now.

[doperotten]

9:19am wed jan 8th 2020

I'm getting sick again. I have to stop like yesterday. I barely got any sleep last night. every time we fight I relapse. and for the sake of us I have kept my mouth shut. so ive been using ever since. honestly, behind the I love yous, im heartbroken. im tired of feeling like I owe you something because you helped me get clean, and you were with it by any means necessary. we had talks that clearly ment nothing because everything you said you never stood by. I had a conversation with you about the potential of racist comments, you being with a white girl with a white family. because this is not my first interracial relationship. ive had to deal with it and so has my ex. so being aware that this is a real thing we had our conversation and you did the complete opposite. and my brother did not come off to you rude at first, he came to you like a big brother telling you to take care of his sister. you flipped it and that's when he called you ghetto and you acted just in that way. so who are you really mad at? you say fucked up comments everytime he is mentioned and im not ok with that. we had conversation of wat to expect being with me, wat could happen and wat I felt like was ganna happen. and just that happened. you were ok with it till it did. you blame me for how your life turned out but you were aware. I spoke to you on all my concerns. and you spoke on nothing. my dad doesn't like you because you asked him for money before you had any real conversation with him. with the excuse of “your daughters in jail, you cant give me money to help her?” but his money wasn't helping me. my mom gave you hundreds of dollars and none of it benefitted me. when I was getting ready to get out, you booked an air bnb for just yourself for a couple days and had it end the day I was getting out. with my moms money. you blame me for everything but you did nothing to help yourself and used the excuse of me being in jail as the reason you did nothing. you worked two days a week, drove my car everywhere, used my phone, took money from my mother, and I could go on. you didn't get a home, when all you needed to do was find one. and again used me as the excuse. when I did wat I felt I had to do for myself you were mad at me. im never allowed to feel some type of way towards you without being a bitch. having your friend in your ear telling you how mean I am to you but he had no idea the underlying issues. I beg you all the time to tell me wat you want from me to benefit our relationship and you give me nothing. but get mad at me for everything. you get mad at me because I don't wanna have sex with you hardly ever. you ever wonder why that is?... im sure you do., I would love to know wat you tell yourself, because your approach never changes. these are all things I saw back then that I hated and was why I never persued you. I just trusted your word hoping your actions would change. I remember you trying to fuck me at my house. I remember you picking me up and moving me and trying to put me on your lap. and everytime I wasn't with it. and you tried to say like “ I knew you weren't hat typa girl that's why I didn't try to do this or that”. but you did try to do this or that. I don't want to just fuck and watch you play video games inside all day. yes I love you. but ultimately wat does love have to do with anything. I want adventure, I want understanding. I want to feel like my feeling matter. I hate that you can never keep your word. you bring up thee dumbest shit like me falling asleep when I got to Georgia, you were mad at me because you didn't get any pussy. im not an idiot. I read people very, no extremely well, and your one of the easiest to read for me. you take zero responsibility for your actions and flip it on me. every.single.time. like the next day, I was supposed to leave and you begged me to stay , I said only if you tell corn the truth as to why im staying. you promised me and then right in front of me, he called and said how he didn't want me there and you blamed me. then got upset cause you got no pussy again. and got mad at me because I felt betrayed. im never allowed to feel my feelings. my moms mad at you because new years. you posted that bullshit shit to try to act like I lucked out. like your a catch. but your not tbh. posted about how if you found her in the streets shell always belong to the streets. im a street bitch but that's not my persona or home. you, that is your persona and home. but I wouldn't say that about you. my parents don't like you because you don't benefit me. I benefit you. and that's not fair. you get mad that im old fashioned, but your the man, act like one. I cant and I refuse to show you how to be one. your childish as fuck and its time to grow up. both of my parents said to me how its fucked up you took my dog, and that's was without me stating my opinion on it. I give you money all the time and so has my mother, but you fronted me a .5 and bitched about it for days. nothing I do for you goes appreciated. all because you took me to Georgia with you. when your the one who asked me, and to this day you try to flip it like I was the one who asked. I could go on and on about how hurt I am by you... but all in all, you do nothing to benefit me except give me a false security because im lonely. I need your presence. but in reality, I really just need anyones. because I feel lonely. but I cant talk to you about my feelings, I cant rely on you to keep your word, I cant physically come to you when I feel lost, I really cant count on you for anything except to love me, and that you do for you anyway. ya im happy when were together, but really im happy when im with anyone cause im not alone. thank yiu for helping me get clean, I guess, cause I did that on my own, you didn't try to take control of the situation when we got to Georgia. like when I snuck off in the morning, you didn't try to hide my keys or anything, you were just annoyed that you had to take care of someone other than yourself. you left me by myself in the middle of nowhere high as fuck resulting in me getting arrested again. but when I got outta jail you tried to take my keys and treated me like shit because I got arrested and your feelings were hurt. its not that I don't appreciate you, I feel like my actions have showed that I do. I just want to feel appreciated back. and I feel myself starting to pull away from you.. I told you when I got out, don't lose me, because ill let you.not because I want to, because I have too... I don't know wat will make you realize, but ive tried and now, its up to you. your childish and immature.. if you want this to work, if we want this to work. its time to grow up. communicate with me and learn how to keep your word and not lie. stop demanding to be understood and understand.... that I am hurt. and I need my man to be a man.

I let you distract me and hold me back, where as to that is my fault.

now that I have gotten that off my chest, because its been keeping me sick. im using today to look for a job. ive accepted that this is where im staying. so its time to start living here and doing my part. 

my dad told me this morning he might have to sell the house, as much as I hate this house because the negative energy it brings sometimes, this is our house, weve had it since I was 5. its time to buckle down and get my shit together as well. I want to be able to help. and I cant help if I don't help myself first.

I have a lot I need to get done. and I plan to do so. Charlie was right I need to write everything down. my mind is cluttered.

today will be a good day. bringing in all good energy into my heart mind soul and surroundings

(11:08)

[princessarez]

This planet is ghetto, but technically i was dropped from my spaceship in palm beach and drake says we’re spoiled rotten. i guess im just a rich bitch in a poe hoe body. https://www.instagram.com/p/B10-h4_gXu5/?igshid=1lhhjhh46sgg0