#i had a meltdown at work so coming home to have an excuse to just

[ilkkawhat]

What are your top 5 Ilkka gifs?

hard to pick just five so i'm doing 5 that i've made and 5 that others made lol

mine:

not mine that I drool over constantly (and link below should go to the OP's post which i recommend reblogging a million times):

[justwonder113]

I love your writing sm 🫠🫠

could you write something fluffy and suggestive for han were you sit on his lap in his studio chair and you can’t stop kissing him and you’re distracting him from his work and he finds it so cute that you’re like this x

Oh my god thank you so much sweetheart! You don't know how much it means to me that you like my writing. I'm really sorry for taking so long to write, even though I absolutely LOVED the idea!!! I had one the meltdowns and uni has been an absolute nightmare so sorry. I really hope this was what you wanted and I hope you will like it. I will try to update stories more and more. Thankfully I will have more time^^

My masterlist

If you have any requests feel free to ask(though it might take me some time)

Warnings: Kind of suggestive, Bold reader, Cute whiney Jisung but he does complete 180 in the end. Jisung calls reader a brat

23:33

You woke up from your sweet slumber by soft clicking of the keyboard. You didn't even realize when you started to dose off. All the work must have caught up to you. The week you had sure was hectic.

You looked at your boyfriend's hunched figure, he was deeply immersed in his work, he hadn't even noticed that you were awake. You felt sad, you barely saw each other. Your schedule was swarmed and he had comeback coming real soon. You tried to text and call but sometimes he was just so swarmed with work he responded hours later. He was really apologetic, he really tired his best. He texted you whenever he could, he sent gifts for you, sometimes flowers, sometimes food, when he knew your schedule was extra hectic. He also left you little notes around the house and, lets just say, randomly finding them was highlight of your day. Sometimes they were sweet messages, sometimes random quotes, sometimes silly little jokes and doodles. You loved every one of them and kept them in a little box in your room. You also tried to be just as supportive, this is why you were here in his studio, you came earlier with food and snacks for him and the boys. Jisung had barely texted you the whole day, so you knew he was extra busy, also you got suspicious that he wouldn't eat anything, he always got so involved with his work he sometimes forgot to even eat.

You were not wrong. Jisung shyly admitted to you that he, in fact, skipped a meal when you asked if he ate anything. Good for him that he was so cute and adorable you never had the ability to stay mad at him. He got so happy when he saw you that he almost knocked you down. He really was so adrable. The boys also thanked you, and you ate together, talking about what you were up to.

You talked for a while but one by one they left to do their own stuff leaving you with Jisung. Honestly, you were glad to be left alone with him, you've missed him too much. You talked with hushed voice, not once he let go of you, he was hugging you like a koala and showered your face with kisses. You couldn't help but giggle at his cute antics. After a while he excused himself and asked you to wait a little bit as he finished his song, promising to quickly wrap it up and go home together. But here you were now, still stuck in the studio.

You scanned around to find your phone to check the time, Jisung must have noticed you had fallen asleep and draped his jacket to keep you warm . He really was cute but you really wanted to scold him. He already worked inhuman hours he really was straining his body!

Your eyes almost popped out of your eyes when you noticed that it was basically midnight. Oh he really was done for now!

You got up, groaning from pain, your muscles were sore from laying on this uncomfortable sofa. After stretching a little you approached him, he was so immersed he didn't even notice you. You couldn't help but scoff when you carefully examined his face. His eyes were so red from looking at this damn screen all day. Apart from bloodshot eyes, he had dark eyebags, he looked a paler and you didn't know if you were exaggerating or not but he also looked a bit thinner. Also there was no way his body wouldn't ache from sitting like that, especially after dancing and practicing for ungodly amounts of time.

You carefully threaded your fingers through his hair and leaned down to kiss his cheek. He did jump a little not expecting your touch but he quickly relaxed and leaned into it. He opened his arms and looked at you with wide eyes expecting you to get into his lap and hug him. Sadly, it also meant that he still wasn't done. You sighed yet again, there was no way you could win this one. You complied and sat in his lap. Jisung immediately wrapped his arm around you and brought you closer to him so that you were chest to chest with no room between you, he quickly pecked your cheek and went back to working.

You tried your best to sit still and let him work so that you could go home as soon as possible, but you were also getting really bored.

After a minute or two an idea popped into your head. You shuffled a bit and hid your face into the crook of his neck, the smell of his perfume immediately soothing your senses. You put your right hand on his chest and wrapped the other around his shoulders. You waited for a second so that Jisung would think you were just getting comfortable, if he even noticed you moving around that is... The truth was that Han Jisung was really ticklish and his neck was especially sensitive. Whenever you decided to kiss his neck he would always reel back giggling and pouting at you cutely. He would always try and run away from you whenever he sensed that you were about to attack his neck. But where would he go now? You were in his lap, there was no way he could run.

You somewhat felt bad, he was always so sweet and gentle to you and no matter how ticklish he was he always let you snuggle up to his neck knowing that you loved it. Should you betray his trust like this?

He did notice you shuffling around, he tensed up for a second when your nose brushed against his sensitive skin but he quickly relaxed. You grinned it was your time to shine!

Carefully not to alert him you brushed your lips against his neck. The response was immediate, his hold around your waist immediately tightened. Oh you were going to get a reaction out of him one way or another. You kissed him again but with more passion now and quickly pecked him few more times. Jisung glanced at you but he didn't say anything. Oh he was on!

You continued your assault on his reddening skin and pecked every part of his skin you could reach one arm around his shoulders while the other had slid through his neck and into his hair playing with the silky soft stands on his nape, oaccasionaly pulling them drawing soft quiet groans from the boy. He whined out your name so prettily! And let's just say you absolutely adored his "little" reactions. He was set on staying as still as he could and act as if this whole thing didn't affect him at all but you could see right through him. "Babyy." He whined out but you didn't stop. His skin was all flushed in a beautiful shade of red, his breathing had become more rugged and shalllow. His left hand held onto your hip for dear life and brought you as close to him as it possibly could as if you would dissappear if he let go. God you loved this boy! You kissed him more and let's just say you hoped his jacket had a high collar because you had left really pretty marks onto his skin. You would gladly show it to the world but you were not sure how his fans would react if anyone were to see you and share photos. And you knew many stays had hawklike vision.

You didn't even consider to stop your attack, Jisung hadn't even done anything to stop you so, you let yourself go. It was only when you moved a little and started kissing his jaw and in the haze let your teeth graze against his skin that he held you tightly and pulled you off.

You looked at him with confused eyes, his face unreadable. Did you upset him? Was he mad? You were about to apologize when he sighed out something and leaned in to smash his lips against yours, knocking the breath out of your lungs. Both of his hands were around your waist now, pulling you impossibly close, as if he wanted to devour you, wanted to be one with you, and who were you to deny him anything? You tried your best to keep up with him and return the kiss with the same burning passion but honestly you couldn't keep up. You didn't know what came up to him but you loved it. You felt like melting, like you really thought you could turn into a puddle, you felt ignited, you felt alive. There was no thought in your head other than that you loved this boy. Your lungs were burning but you weren't even considering to lean back for air. You were just consumed with Han Jisung.

It was Han who broke the kiss and leaned back to let you breathe. Both of you struggled to breathe normally, as if you had forgotten how to do so. You wanted to say something but were at loss for words, it was Han who broke the silence. He flicked your forehead and pouted at you. "You're a real brat do you know that?" You couldn't help but giggle. You swore this boy had some type of switch into his head. He almost made you melt into a puddle by giving you the best kiss of your life and now he was pouting at you all cutely like he did nothing wrong. God you loved him!

You grinned at him, "Does this mean we're going home?"

Han rolled his eyes and softly pinched your side. "Brat."

Yup, you had won.

[silverbladexyz]

This was based off a request in my inbox that I somehow couldn't find anymore ;w; but it was a cute one :)

The images do not belong to me. They belong to their original owners.

TW: Mentions of smoking. Gender neutral reader

Dazai, Iceman, and Ayatsuji with an S/O who has a pet kitty

Dazai:

-Despite Dazai being quite an energetic drama queen, I have a feeling that he'd be rather chill with your cat

-We all know that he has a special connection to a rather special cat (Natsume), so in the first few times he was alone with your cat, he definitely tried to find out if it was actually an ability user in disguise. And by that, I mean poking it a few times to see if his nullification ability could make it revert back to it's human form (spoiler: it did not)

-But suspicions aside, Dazai loves your pet kitty! When he comes home after a tiring day of work at the Armed Detective Agency, simply stroking your cat's soft fur is enough to temporarily distract his mind from everything. He might even hug the cat to his chest as he lies down on the couch, and prompt you to take a photo since he 'looks more handsome at that angle' Dark Era anime reference owuashaah

-If your cat doesn't warm up to other people easily, then you're in for a treat. Dazai would be chasing after the cat with sardines and toys and everything cats supposedly like to try and win it's affection and trust, while fake crying to you that your pet 'hates him'. He will even try meowing at your cat, and his meows are so surprisingly accurate that you sometimes think he's a cat in disguise

-Over time, your cat decides to finally trust Dazai, and he is overjoyed when it happens. Your beloved will become 10x more affectionate with the feline, and it is now a common occurrence where he hugs it and proclaims how adorable or beautiful it is; often sneaking in a compliment that it was almost as beautiful as it's owner, which is you :)

-Dazai definitely would try to teach your pet kitty some tricks to impress you. Some of the tricks he tries to teach it concerns you since 'no cat would need that knowledge', but he still insists on going forward with the training, since it 'might be useful someday'. You gave up trying to convince him, and you were glad that you did, because now you have one of the smartest and trick-y cats in all of Yokohama. Yay! Though you weren't too impressed when Dazai taught the kitty to fetch things for him... but you trusted his judgement

-He certainly loves having the cat perch on his shoulders while he does his paperwork at home (for once lmao), since I headcanon he likes the silky texture of your cat's fur against his cheek as he writes. Sometimes, when he takes a mini break, or when he's just admiring the lovely Yokohama scenery outside the window, Dazai would pet the cat's head, who in turn nuzzles into his palm

-On days where you're busy, he'll be more than happy to look after your cat for you! Even though he might purposefully mess things up just for laughs, Dazai will actually be more serious when it comes pet-sitting. He wouldn't want to let you down, and ensures that all care your cat receives will be top tier- including baths. You had never seen as many expensive cat shampoos than ever before in your life, and by the end of the entire ordeal your cat will be ✨immaculate✨. Dazai might even joke about starting to use cat shampoo too please don't let him use it

-Uses your cat as an excuse to slack off from work sometimes. Kunikida almost had a meltdown when he can't find Dazai in the usual places, only for Dazai to tell him through the phone 'But I just had to look after my lovely Y/N's cat!~ Or else they'll be quite sad that I'm not bonding enough with our precious child! u.u' #saveKunikidafromDazai'santics

-He would definitely take some videos of your cat doing tricks, and show them to Atsushi, asking him if he could do those tricks but in his tiger form. The poor boy is startled and is going all 'but I can't control my full tiger form!'; it does not help how Dazai says that his nullification ability could turn Atsushi back to normal if things were to go out of control. Fortunately Kunikida stepped in and reminded Dazai to get back to work

-Fun fact: crab meat can be a good treat for cats as it is rich in protein. And we know that our bandaged detective loves to eat crab meat too. So imagine if Dazai opens a tin of canned crab, about to eat it- only to see your cat sitting down at his feet, giving him the cute pleading Puss in Boots eyes as it stares at the crab meat held between his chopsticks. Sometimes, your lover would (begrudgingly) give the kitty his precious crab that was initially meant for himself to savour, but other times he'll just finish the entire can of crab meat while holding a staring contest with your cat as if daring it to do something

-If you wanted to get another cat, Dazai isn't opposed. The more the merrier, and he knows better than anyone else the feeling of loneliness. Be prepared for him to splurge a lot more money on cat products though; and don't even ask where the money came from /j

Iceman:

-Chill assassin dude doesn't show too many outward reactions with your cat, but don't worry since he thinks it's cute and would definitely take good care of it if you asked him to

-Oftentimes, you'd see them next to each other on the couch, with the cat on his shoulders or on his lap. Iceman will sometimes pet it, and despite his frighteningly cold demeanour most of the time, he's actually quite gentle when it comes to your pet

-Because your man himself is so calm and laid-back, he can make even the most energetic of cats be as tranquil as a lake. This definitely helps when you're trying to chase your cat down to give it a bath, because they run fast

-Iceman also stops smoking as often when he learns that cats dislike the smell of cigarette smoke. Keep in mind that he won't fully quit since it's difficult to do so, but he'll definitely be mindful about it and only smoke when he's certain that the lingering smell on his body wouldn't affect your cat

-He also plays music for your cat sometimes! It's scientifically proven that cats tend to like soft classical music, and luckily your partner has quite the collection of records that he'd put on for you, him, and your cat to listen to. It also calms you down after a stressful day, and it sets the perfect mood for your lover to embrace you in his arms

-When feeding your cat, Iceman sometimes leaves some tuna or sardines on top of it's food so that it would add some flavour to the kibble. He somehow always finds the freshest and best quality fish for his favourite feline, and don't worry about the cost since the Mafia pays quite a bit

-Is also the type of guy to buy plush and wicker cat trees for your cat to climb and jump on and off it. If it breaks, don't concern yourself with buying a new one because Iceman is actually quite good with his hands. In just a few minutes, he'd have fixed the cat tree up and made it look as good as new

-Sometimes, when he's had a tiring day, Iceman would cuddle you on the couch while your cat jumps onto your laps- and it's the cutest thing ever with all three of you sharing a nice big hug to wind down and relax

-If your cat is a rather mischievous one with dozens of antics, you can catch Iceman smiling a soft smile as he watches the cat being up to no good again. He'll always intervene and stop it if things were about to go south, but he does enjoy having a good chuckle at it's funny shenanigans

-Like Dazai, Iceman wouldn't mind if you wanted to get more cats, since he's quite easy-going with whatever you choose to do. And the fact that you have a soft spot for cats makes him soft for you too ❤

Ayatsuji:

-Now unlike Dazai and Iceman, Ayatsuji actually has cats too! And he's glad that you have experience in taking care of cats since it would make life much easier for him

-He definitely would introduce his cats to yours. They're actually quite well-behaved, and soon enough you'd have three gorgeous felines clambering all over Ayatsuji's office and being adorable menaces to anyone who visits the room. It brightens Tsujimura's day, but she'd never admit it

-Ayatsuji is a genius, which means that he most likely will also teach your cat some tricks. Such as sitting down, coming back when called, and many more! Even though he rarely would have time to play with your cats (yes his cats are your cats too now), he'd still try to feed them and pet them whenever he could

-Don't worry about your pet making a mess in his office, because your paramour will train it to be civil and docile, which can prevent many incidents from happening. Your cat does find some of the western furniture in there to be fun places to climb and leap onto, but it never damages anything with it's claws, which is what you're thankful for since you don't want a disappointed Ango on your heels

-Despite not being an affectionate person, Ayatsuji actually likes to pet your cat! It gives him a sense of relief and calmness, since he prefers to be alone with cats than with humans (you're the exception). If you ask him to, he'll definitely brush your cat's coat everyday; and he is so focused and detailed while doing it that it makes you think the cat was his own child (in some way it is hehe)

-He also likes the cat's company when he's looking over cases in his office. Ayatsuji doesn't bring your cat to crime scenes since he doesn't want to jeopardise it's safety, but when he is pondering over the perpetrators of the case, the feline would nuzzle itself up against his legs, which would make him become slightly soft inside

-Shopping for cat collars!! If you haven't noticed in the picture yet, Ayatsuji's cats both have cute collars that suit them very nicely, and there's no doubt he'd want the same for your cat (if you allow it of course). He has amazing taste, and knows where to get the cheapest but best looking cat collars in Yokohama. I headcanon he likes the collars with darker colours and a small bell on it; simplistic yet stylish

-As you all know, Ayatsuji likes dolls, and is talented at making them. So over the course of a few days, he might stitch together a few small dolls for your cat to play with. It keeps your cat entertained, and even Ayatsuji himself cracks a few rare smiles here and there at the adorable sight

-10/10 cat parent, and a 100/10 partner. Ayatsuji will treat you and your cat right :)

Now I want a pet cat too 🤧🐈

@circinuus @ruanais @yuugen-benni @oldworldpoolhall @kolyakisses @sariel626 @chocsra

[adventuringblind]

i loved your neurodivergent x oscar sm and i think it’s so cute. i love the way both their dynamics work with each other and it’s relatability!!

i was wondering if you could do more fics based on them in like different situations and how they both would care for each other in their own ways??

maybe you could make a fic based around the early stages of their relationship? i can imagine it being like really cute and both of them having to adapt to some of each others habits that they weren’t used to before, etc, and them both just being really caring and overall adorable towards each other!

i hope you’re having a lovely day btw!

Patterns of You

Oscar Piastrix Autistic!reader

Genre: fluff

Request: yep! I'm open for any ideas y'all have. I've been having fun with the autistic reader, so if you have anything specific in mind, please let me know!

Summary: You and Oscar adapt to eachothers way of living

Warnings: none :)

Notes: written in second person

Masterlist

You and Oscar hit it off

However, it still takes some getting used too for the both of you

Oscar likes trying different foods

You like sticking to the same foods

It took him awhile to learn your preference

He even made a list of things you specifically disliked and hung it on the fridge

He was aware you physically couldn't handle certain things

So he tried his hardest to make things that you both liked or could he made to one's specific preferences

Once he asked you to come with him to a barbecue at a friend's house

The party itself was chill

But the food options made you want to cry

You tired to be polite and eat a little but but you just ended up excusing yourself to the bathroom and gagging

Oscar was well aware of what was happening

He made sure you didn't feel the need to force yourself to eat something you couldn't

When he took you home that night, he purchased your favorite safe food and made it for you

He knew you needed food, and after the stress of everything at the barbecue, he figured your safe food might help to ease your senses

One thing he was not prepared for was the first time you had a meltdown

You'd told him exactly what happens and how you need to calm yourself down so that he wasn't clueless

It didn't stop him from being worried though

When you showed up with Oscar at the paddock for the first time, the journalists were all over you

They were loud, in your face, and in your personal space

It got overwhelming too quick

Your hands immediately cover your ears, and your breathing gets rapid

The worst part is that they follow you

Obviously, they didn't get that you didn't feel like talking to them

Oscar could actively feel your body shutting down

Tears escaping your eyes faster then you could wipe them away

He led you all the way to his driver room without stopping

Immediately, he watched you find the floor and curl into yourself

Oscar just stands guard and makes sure you don't need anything as you attempt to self-soothe

When you feel better, he lets you hold him or be held in whatever way you need

He started to adapt after that

He became Spiderman

It didn't matter where you were, if he was within five minutes of you, he knew if you felt overwhelmed or not

When you moved in with him, he made sure to give you a safe space

Somewhere that other people couldn't go and bother you if you needed time to yourself

Somtimes Oscar himself was your safe space

If you couldn't get away from the environment, he would envelope you in his arms

Letting you bury your face in his chest and breathe in his scent

It wasn't the best way of letting you calm down, but it worked in emergency situations when he couldn't get you out of there

Routine became the most popular shared thing between you two

You both had schedules and stuck to them

He noticed your mini routines inside of your schedule

You would always use the same good morning greeting, so he started using it too

It made you smile when the comforting words fell from his mouth

You always made the bed a specific way, so he memorized how so he could do it also

Vocal tones were the hardest thing for you to learn

Your parents deemed that the way you speak most the time had an ability to sound angry and sassy

This, in turn, made you over explain everything you said because you feared it would get you in trouble

Oscar could not understand for the life of him why one sentence became a three paragraph explanation

He eventually just started listening for keywords you used to get different tones across

When you asked questions about how he was meaning things, he didn't get it at first

When he was talking about work drama, he saw the pure look of confusion on your face

You were trying to decide if he was upset or just gossiping but had yet to figure it out

He understood after that

Needless to say you two eventually found your groove

Communication about communication became a vital point of success in your relationship

Oscar didn't mind having to adapt to something new

He loves you and is willing figure things out

Plus, the patterns you have make you more you

[robinsno1lesbian]

Hii Beth just wanted to say how much I love your neighbor robin drabbles!❤️

If it’s not too much trouble, can you do where the reader has been begging for Robbins attention all day, and is acting like a brat  and when she finally gets her attention from Robin, she can’t handle it can you use the words “You can take” “panting like a bitch in heat or “already going dumb on my strap, but we’re just getting started” and maybe the use of handcuffs and maybe with appearance with Nancy

Thank you hope you see this :)

neighbor!robin x fem!reader 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content (MDNI), implied age gap (reader is 18+!), strap-ons, use of "slut" and "good girl", bondage play, very detailed dirty talk, spanking (once), overstimulation, implied threesome, can you tell i haven't written smut in a bit and gave this my all?

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i haven't written anything in a hot minute but today i had a full-on meltdown and had to go home early so i have some spare time lmao- anyway thank you so much!! i reaaally appreciate this and i really hope you like what i came up with <3

"robin" you whine. your handsome neighbor/sort-of-girlfriend had been ignoring your need for attention for the entire day. she had always made up some excuse about "having to work" which, truth be told, she had to. but robin had proven her ability to multitask plenty of times before. you knew there were ways to work and satisfy your needs. robin just seems to be in the mood to get you into a desperate state. worse than that is probably the fact that it's working and that it has been working all day. you didn't think you could get this worked up in such a short time but here you are: whining on her lap, hips grinding down against her thigh for some sort of friction. robin is sitting by her desk and your body is most definitely in the way, covering up the laptop screen she's trying to work on.

you couldn't care less though, caging her in with your arms dangling down from the back of her neck while staring down at her hungrily. "you've been working for hours" you continue. "come one. take a break. you could..." you tap your chin, pretending to me in thought. "take me instead?" the taller woman beneath you chuckles and shakes her head. "what do you think you're doing y/n?" she raps and reaches out to push your body aside and reach her laptop. "robin" you pout and move up and down once to emphasize the importance of your horniness. robin, however, just raises a brow at you.

"fine" you move away from her and cross your arms over your chest like a stubborn child. "i can take care of myself" and with that, you stomp out of the room and move to where her bedroom is. you know where she's hiding her toys and you damn well know how to look after yourself if she doesn't want to. you enter in a haze -don't even bother to close the door on your way in- and get down in front of the bedside table. your hands grab through the different vibrators in a rush until you have found your favorite. of course, it's better when robin is using it on you; she makes you cum in mere minutes with it while whispering dirty things into your ear. but she isn't there to help you out, so you're willing to do that on your own. you fall back onto the bed and make quick work of the buttons of your pants before kicking them off of your legs and spreading them wide. the door is still wide open, so when you turn on the vibrator, you make sure to put it in the highest setting. like this, you think, robin is definitely gonna hear what she is missing out on. you gasp when the toy presses against your cloth-covered center and tease yourself for a while before pushing your underwear aside and pressing it against your clit for the first time. a loud moan falls from your lips when you finally get some of the relief you have been yearning for all day. "fuck" you cry out when the vibrations run through your entire body. "robin" a wicked smirk flashes over your face when you hear robin's chair moving down the hall. you seem to have caught her attention. finally. with your lower abdomen coiling in pleasure and the noise of the other woman walking toward the room you're in, you choose to be even bolder with your actions: you quickly push down the panties and reveal your bare cunt to robin, who has reached the doorway by the time you look up again. you watch her through hazy, lust-filled eyes before throwing your head back. you're slightly exaggerating, if only for the sake of robin finally touching you and replacing the vibrator with her fingers or mouth. "what are you doing?" she asks sharply and leans against the doorframe. you can tell by the sound of her voice that she's upset with you and still can't bring yourself to care, far too absorbed in the pleasure you're experiencing. she's the one who has been neglecting you the whole day. she's the one who didn't want to fuck you in the first place. she's- her fingers on your jaw and cheeks snap you back to reality.

"what are you doing?" she hisses through gritted teeth. not even the toy between your thigh can stop your mind from going completely blank at the harsh undertone of her voice. robin moves your head in her hands so that you're looking up at her. "did i tell you you could just leave and fuck yourself like the little slut you are?" you visibly gulp and drop your hand. the vibrator keeps buzzing on the mattress as you stare at her. robin leans in slowly and her grip tightens. "i asked you a question, slut" she whispers. "i- i- uh-" it's like all of your confidence to do this has been knocked out of your at once. "of course" robin chuckles "just what i thought" you can't help yourself but whine and buck your hips up.

robin's eyes glare down at the sudden movement while her hands remain on your face. a grin forms on her lips when she looks back up at you. "so you're really that desperate huh?" it's embarrassing how you nod immediately and whine in response. she drops her hand down and points to the bed. "turn around" she commands. when you don't immediately obey, too occupied with her sudden change of attitude, she gets closer to your face again. "did i stutter?" robin gives you a push, a gentle one really, but you didn't expect it and so you stumble backward and drop onto the bed. "that's better" she mutters before stripping out of her own clothes.

that's how you end up on your stomach, face pressed into the pillows to muffle your borderline-human screams while robin is kneeling behind you. she has taken all of her clothes off, before ripping your shirt and bra off as well.

the only thing she is still wearing is the harness of the strap attached to her hips. it's not like you can see it though, with your face in the soft pillows and her hand keeping you in place. you didn't realize at first when robin tied your wrists together and made you turn around, but now you have an understanding of just how restricted you are. she has fucked you through two orgasms already, but she is relentless. robin's body is strong and you know she's got stamina. there's no way for you to get out of this, for you to escape the harsh thrusts of her hips and delicious stretch of your cunt around the toy. "fuck, fuck, fuck" you whimper "robin please- please 's so much" you know that if you wanted to stop, you could just use the safe word and she would stop immediately. but you don't and that's the thing, you don't want to stop. you don't want her to slow down her thrusts or leave you empty and wanting. "ow" robin leans forward so that her lips are close to your ear "is it too much? yeah? weren't you so eager to get fucked filthy huh?"

each word is followed by a short thrust of her hips that drives the strap against your g-spot. "take it" she whispers before leaning back again, giving her body the space it requires to pound into you in all the right ways. "fucking take it like a bitch in heat" robin pants, proving that the constant, strong movement does have an effect on her. your eyes roll back in your head and your mouth hangs open wide, spit drooling all over her bedding. unable to form a proper sentence, you just moan and moan. "look at you" the woman behind you continues. her words are causing your head to spin. "fuck, already going dumb on my strap and we're only getting started" her hands find your waist to slam your ass back against her. she grunts in sync with our high-pitched, embarrassingly loud moans. if you keep this up, the whole neighborhood is gonna know about the two of you. "who knows" she mumbles absentmindedly. "maybe next time I'll ask nancy to join us, would you like that?" your cheeks flush and your grip on the sheets tightens, which is enough of an answer for robin. "oh you would wouldn't you sweet thing?" oh, how you hate the way you don't feel ashamed of the arousal dripping out of your fucked out pussy as robin speaks. "yeah that's what i thought" a hard smack lands on your ass and you whine. "you want to get fucked by two pretty women don't you? yeah? one just isn't enough for you, greedy thing" your whole body is moving with her and the bed is creaking so loudly it would concern you under different circumstances. "wanna show me how badly you crave us? wanna cum for me?" "hmh" you manage while getting entirely wrapped up in the intense pleasure she is giving you. "then do it" she groans from behind. "do it, do it, do it. cum for me. gush around this cock like a good girl, come on" so you do. the pleasure racks through your entire body and makes you see literal stars as it reaches its peak. each nerve in your body feels like it is on fire and your arms give out entirely underneath you. the last things you sense are the loud scream erupting from your throat and robin's praise while she keeps up the pace she has set. your entire body goes slack and even your legs can't hold you anymore. the air around you is hot and your hair is sticking to your sweat-soaked skin. the release-soaked toy is still stroking against your inner walls but robin has slowed down significantly. you whimper when the pleasure fades and it's becoming too much for you to handle. robin must know, by the way you tense beneath her and pulls out slowly. "shhh" she whispers and spins you around gently. you haven't even noticed but you've cried while cumming, your mascara evidently running down your cheeks. "come here" robin tells you and sits you up against herself, already handing you a glass of water that sits on her bedside table. "it's okay, i'm here" she assures and massages your sore muscles. "you did so good you know?" you hum in acknowledgment and enjoy the feeling of her fingers combing through your hair. you could stay this way forever; positively fucked out and with robin taking such good care of you.

[allisluv]

COMING CLEAN

Chapter Six — sex for secrets

pairing: finnick odair x fem!oc

content warnings: forced sex work, dissociation + an autistic meltdown, slut shaming, wyatt being a better brother to dahlia even though they’re not actually related. if there’s anything else just lmk!

word count: 3.5k

previous part — next part

Dahlia set her plan into action and changed her form of payment that very evening. Most of her clients were head gamemakers or people who held a position of influence in the Capitol, which gave her a perfect opportunity to gather information on their beloved president and use it to her advantage.

Instead of being paid in cash, she chose to exchange sex for secrets.

She burned through her list of clients in fourteen days and before she knew it, she was on the train back to district nine. Malaki accompanied her on the journey home and flaunted a newspaper in front of her face.

She and Finnick had made the front page for two consecutive weeks. The paparazzi were having a field day with the story. Pictures of them had been circulating the whole of Panem and Caeser Flickerman had been hounding them for an interview since they spoke to Capitol News.

The plan seemed to be working so far and although being in the spotlight would surely make her episodes more frequent, it was a cross she would have to bear if it meant everybody she loved was out of harm's way.

Over breakfast, Malaki joked about how Bloom was growing more popular as the days went by. Dahlia polished off a bottle of fizzy lemonade before excusing herself from the table and retreating to her room on the train.

Dahlia waited for the heavy metal door to clunk closed behind her before she pulled off her slippers and sat on the edge of the bed. It was always difficult to tell what was real and what wasn't when she was on the train. She supposed it was because of all the bad memories she associated with it.

Either way, it would take seven hours to arrive home, and sleeping was the best solution to her problems. She curled up under the thick duvet and silk sheets, falling asleep in a matter of minutes.

As six o'clock rolled around and they grew closer to home, Malaki opened the blinds to let the remaining slivers of evening light into her room before shaking her awake. "Wake up!" he beamed, tugging the duvet down to the end of the bed. She tossed about in protest and groaned into her hands. "Come on, I bet Juniper's dying to hear the gossip first-hand."

Dahlia muttered a muffled string of curses into her elbows before pulling herself up. She wrapped a beige cardigan around her and slid on her slippers as Malaki wheeled her black suitcase out into the hallway.

Although Bloom was an outstanding stylist, she couldn't help but feel grateful to dress in her own clothes again.

As the train pulled into the station and slowed to a gradual halt, Dahlia made her way down the carriage, waiting for the automatic doors to swing open. Fresh air filled her lungs as she hopped onto the platform and wearily offered her thanks to Malaki for hauling her suitcase down the steps.

A sad sigh escaped his lips as he scanned her face, looking for any sign that she was going to retreat into that hazy other world. This time around, they might not get her back, and that thought terrified him. "Darling, are you sure you're going to be okay?" he asked gently, patiently waiting for her to acknowledge that he had even asked a question.

Dahlia didn't blame him for being worried —the dark circles under her eyes did little to plead her case—but if she were to answer that question honestly, he wouldn't like what he heard.

The last thing she wanted to do was add to his worries, so instead of telling him the truth, she plastered a smile on her face. "Don't worry about me. It's Bloom you should be checking on — her fingers are probably bleeding from all the sewing," she joked, doing her best to swerve the question altogether.

Malaki had always been able to see through her lies and she half expected a lecture but he didnt press her for the truth. He was probably exhausted (it had been a long couple of days, after all). "Alright, if you are sure," he ran a hand through his hair, his golden rings getting caught in his dark curls. "If you need me—"

"I know," she cut him off kindly. "I'll call if I feel like throttling any reporters," she smiled. The phones in Victor Village only worked half the time but she chose to keep that piece of information to herself. He grinned, and she resisted the urge to flinch at how blinding his teeth were.

The train engine spluttered into life again and she gestured to the closest compartment. "Go on. Don't miss the train. I wouldn't want you getting stranded here, not without any skincare products," she teased, tightening her hold on the handle of her suitcase for something to remind her that this was real.

He chuckled under his breath, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder before catching himself and letting his hand fall back to his side.

"Call me if you need to!" he hopped up the steps to the train and waved through the windows until the surroundings blurred and she was a tiny dot on the platform.

Dahlia huffed out a breath of relief and rubbed at the ache in her chest. It was always easier to breathe when she didn't have reminders of the Capitol around her, even if she did have a soft spot for her escort.

The sun was beginning to set and although the warm light beat down against the nape of her neck, it did little to stop her from shivering.

She was tired of being cold all the time. It made it that much harder to stay in this world.

She tilted her suitcase up onto its back wheels, pulling it along the gravel as she headed for the small cottages in Victor village. The sooner she got home, the sooner she would be able to bribe River into gathering firewood.

She trekked up the familiar path to her house, noticing that someone had been watering her forget-me-nots. "Something smells nice," she announced, abandoning her suitcase in the entryway and preparing for impact.

As if on cue, Juniper deserted her post at the stove, dropping the wooden spoon back into the bowl and hurling herself towards Dahlia.

For someone who weighed fifteen pounds soaked through, Juniper always managed to knock the wind out of anyone she hugged.

"Oh my god, tell us everything! Is the news true? Are you actually going out with Finnick O'Dair?" Juniper squeaked, untangling her arms from around Dahlia's waist and holding her at arm's length. "I can't believe you never wrote me back! I've been dying here!"

Dahlia laughed, kindly shrugging off Juniper's touch and manoeuvring her way around the young girl. June had never been one to give up easily, though, and questions kept tumbling from her lips as she followed her into the kitchen.

Recent events were still weighing heavily on Dahlia's mind and her patience was beginning to wear thin as she sat cross-legged on a countertop. "June, I'll tell you everything over dinner, okay?" she grabbed the blonde's hands in her own.

Juniper nodded earnestly and started violently stirring the stew in the pot, adding in dashes of spices whenever she deemed necessary. She was clearly trying to get dinner on the table because the quicker they all sat down together, the quicker she'd get answers.

Ivy handed over the wooden spoon and pushed onto her tippy-toes to reach for tomatoes in the cupboard above Dahlia's head.

Ivy had always been considered the beautiful one in the family and her older sister couldn't agree more. That was part of the reason she had agreed to Snow's demands — there was no doubt in her mind that if she had refused, the president would've enlisted her sister into sex work at the tender age of nine.

He wouldn't have thought twice about it. He would not have even blinked.

Ivy was all skin and bone with cheekbones that could easily cut through glass. Her hair was black and had fallen out in parts from too much stress, but it covered her face like a curtain, and it wasn't noticeable from afar. Her eyes were by far her best feature —they were alluring, captivating, almost, and they spoke a million words. You never knew who Ivy was, not really, and that was something the Capitol would eat up.

"Is River out harvesting?" Dahlia covered her knuckles with the sleeves of her cardigan. Ivy didn't answer but a noise of agreement got caught in the back of her throat. "Does he know about Finnick?"

Ivy sauntered back to the stove with a sour expression, as if to say 'You bet he does — and he's not happy, either.'

Dahlia ran her tongue over her teeth, listening to the meat sizzle in the pot as her two mini-chefs expertly worked their way around the kitchen. She'd have to find some way to make it up to the girls; listening to River ran and rave for the last two weeks must have been torturous.

Juniper was true to her word and didn't ask about anything until they were sitting down at the table for dinner. "How long have you been seeing your fancy man for then, young lady?" she scooped generous servings of stew into their bowls and sat beside Ivy, impatiently rocking back and forth.

Dahlia desperately wracked her brain for an answer that would satisfy the girls; Ivy could sniff out a lie in milliseconds and Juniper would keep probing for the nitty-gritty details until she was satisfied, which made it incredibly difficult not to tell the truth.

She shoved a spoonful of stew into her mouth to buy herself some time. "We've been seeing each other for a couple of months," she said carefully. "We managed to keep it private for a while but someone walked in on us at a gala."

"What, they caught you having sex?" Juniper blurted out, eyes bulging out of their sockets as her fork clattered to the floor loudly.

"June!" she scolded, all the heat rushing to her face at the insinuation. She brushed back a few fly-away strands of hair and shook her head incredulously. Sometimes she forgot how little of a filter that girl had (which, admittedly, was rich coming from her —talk about the pot calling the kettle). "No, nothing like that. We were just hanging out in the garden and people started speculating, that's all," she insisted.

Ivy eyed her sister curiously. Maybe they hadn't been screwing, as June had so blatantly put it, but there had to be some fragment of truth to what the reporters were saying. She didn't care enough to ask, and the question wouldn't have left her head anyway, so she went back to picking at her food.

"What's Finnick like? Is he nice?" Juniper held her hands up in surrender as Dahlia glared in her direction. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger!"

Dahlia glanced out the window behind Juniper's head. The moon was already out and it was starting to get dark, which meant River would be home soon. Sliding out of her chair, she let the girls split whatever was left of her stew. "You can give me your character analysis when you meet him. I'm sure the two of you'll make a trip to the Capitol at some point or another."

Juniper jumped into a new line of questioning as Ivy took advantage of her opportunity and swiped a few tomato chunks from her older sister's bowl.

Dahlia chewed the inside of her cheek in an attempt to keep her temper in check. Hiding her distaste for the Capitol had worn her out but she refused to take it out on the girls. "Will you two be okay if I go to bed? I've got a migraine."

Juniper nodded sympathetically and anxiously tugged on her heart-shaped earrings. There was a silent understanding shared between the two. Dahlia liked to think that she shielded her victor from all of the terrible things life had to offer, but truthfully, they just never spoke about it.

Dahlia snagged a bottle of water from the fridge, fondly ruffling the girls' hair as she passed by and made a beeline for the staircase.

Her suitcase belted loudly against the steps as she carted it up to her room and shoved it underneath her bed. Out of sight, out of mind and all that jazz —in other words, she would likely forget it existed until Bloom showed up on her doorstep to whisk her away again.

She stripped out of her dirty clothes and heaped them together in the corner before tearing her chest of drawers apart for pyjamas. She stepped into polka-dotted bottoms and yanked a fleece over her head, running a brush through her hair for good measure.

Once the curtains were closed and her salt lamp was emitting an orange glow in the corner of the room, she wrapped herself in her duvet like a butterfly that was desperately afraid to leave its cocoon.

Worry ate away at her insides as she tossed and turned for hours on end, falling into the deep depths of sleep long after everybody else in the house had retreated to bed.

˚＊✿❀༓❀✿＊˚

Dahlia had been burning a hole in the living room carpet since she woke up. Her teeth tore away at the skin around her fingernails.

River had roped everybody into a mother's meeting and had swapped his usual work shift for the evening one. He had been scoffing under his breath, making a big song and dance about the whole situation until Ivy pushed him out the back door and locked him out.

Dahlia had been this close to ripping his head off and she was thankful that her sister had stepped in. The last thing she needed to deal with today was his inflated ego. He stropped off to the market to get some food and she hoped he would be calmer by the time he came back.

Juniper and Ivy were perched in the windowsill like two cats, their knees pressed up to their chests as they talked amongst themselves — well, as Juniper talked and Ivy listened.

Wyatt sat at the kitchen table, hands cupped around a steaming mug of coffee as he fought to keep his eyes open. At least she wasn't the only one running on empty this morning.

Letting out a frustrated groan, she collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs, holding her head in her hands. She found comfort in sitting with Wyatt. He didn't ask questions or hound her for details or tell her what to do. He just smiled tiredly and sipped his coffee like it was any other morning.

A burst of gratitude swept over her at how easy it was for him to adapt to his surroundings. She often said he was like a chameleon, changing forms and personas depending on who he was surrounded by, and she supposed that was something they had in common.

It was eleven o'clock when Juniper fell out of the windowsill, landing with a thump on the floor and loudly announcing that River was coming back.

Dahlia wiped her clammy palms into her blue jeans and rested her hand on her abdomen to regulate her breathing. Wyatt poured the dregs of his coffee down the sink and inched his chair closer to Dahlia's. He would no doubt be playing referee between the older siblings.

River crept his way back into the house, his arms folded over his chest like a child throwing a temper tantrum. He set the bag of food down on the table and sat opposite his sister. The girls were quick to follow suit, standing behind Dahlia's chair like a firing squad.

He propped his head up with his hands and sighed. "I know you're not going out with Finnick but what I don't understand is why you insist on entertaining the rumours. They're painting you out to be a slut and you're letting it happen," he spat.

Juniper knew that Dahlia would retreat into her own head if given the opportunity. She traced shapes into the older girl's skin to keep her tied to this reality.

Wyatt's eyes rapidly darkened and he clenched his fists in his lap. "Watch your tongue," he warned. His voice was raspy and he leaned forward in his chair. "Call her that again and see what fucking happens." He stood to his feet and River followed suit, towering over the victor.

Before either of them had a chance to start fighting in the middle of the kitchen, a hologram on the telly began to fizzle into focus. The Capitol anthem rang out, bouncing off the walls of the house.

President Snow took the stage and as the anthem ended, he began to speak about the Dark Days.

Dahlia's feet were moving on autopilot as she walked into the living room and collapsed on the sofa in front of the hologram. Everyone else was quick to follow and the tension between River and Wyatt was quick to dissipate.

Juniper sat at her feet and clutched her hand like a vice, eyes glued to the screen. "It must be the card reading," June whispered. "They announce the twist a couple of months before the games begin. That must be what it is, right?"

Dahlia's face was paling as the seconds ticked by. President Snow pulled an envelope from a wooden box and began to read from the card.

"On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them can not overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors!"

Dahlia keeled forward off the couch, landing on her knees as a scream clawed its way out of her throat.

She slipped away after that, and the feeling of being gently rocked back and forth was what brought her back to reality.

She was cradled in somebody's arms and the smell of pine told her that it was Ivy. She pried her eyes open.

The hologram had disappeared and the evening light blinded her. She didn't remember getting to the lake but gaps in her memory was normal when her brain was working in overdrive.

Ivy quietly shushed her and pushed back the damp strands of hair stuck to her temple. "I can't go back there. I can't do it," she sobbed.

Dahlia lay her head in Ivy's lap and the younger girl threaded her fingers through the knots in her hair just as their mother had done when they were kids.

There was a chill in the air as Ivy brushed the sand off her kneecaps and led Dahlia back to the house, keeping a firm hold of her hand in case she broke free and started to run.

As they neared Victor's Village, Dahlia could hear a wailing sound that was no doubt coming from her female counterpart in the reaping. Her feet were moving on autopilot as she slipped in the back door.

River had backed himself into a corner and was watching nervously as Juniper scratched at the skin on her arms. Wyatt was sat on the floor beside her, yet he maintained his distance in case it escalated the situation.

Ivy dimmed the lights and kicked River and Wyatt onto the porch. The last thing June needed was an audience.

Dahlia crouched down in front of her. "June, it's just me. I know you're probably struggling to understand what is happening and why it's happening and that's alright. It's okay to be scared and confused because I am here to help. Do you want me to explain what's going to happen?"

Juniper hummed under her breath and flapped her hands as she tried to break apart what Dahlia was saying. Once she could understand what was being said, she nodded anxiously.

"There's three months until the reaping so that gives Wyatt and I plenty of time to get back into shape before the games. We're gonna train like careers and you're gonna be our coach! I need you to listen carefully to this next part, okay?"

Juniper continued humming but she pried her eyes open a fraction of an inch.

"I'm going back into the games. Me. Not you. I love you but I will never forgive you if you volunteer. Do you understand?" she warned, gently brushing away the tears rolling down her warm cheeks.

Juniper sniffled and wiped her nose with her sleeve. "Promise me you'll come back. Promise me."

Dahlia swallowed the lump in her throat. It was hard to lie to Juniper— it was like kicking a puppy when it was already down. "I promise."

[nicksbestie]

how would Luke react to his little throwing a tantrum? I feel like he’s calm but also severe? idk, anyways I hope you’re taking care and doing well, you’re my favorite writer ❤️

Meltdown

word count : 1676

warnings : this is based around a dinner scene, so if food is something that bothers you, i would suggest not reading! i love you!

enjoy!

<3

Luke wasn’t a strict caregiver by any stretch of the imagination.

He was sweet, kind, patient, and lenient. He tried his best to never punish his little one. He hated having to do it, and Avery was almost never in trouble. It was so rare that she ever had a bad enough day to be so upset that she needed direct correction, but it did happen once in a blue moon. Most of the times that it did happen, all Luke had to do was give her a soft warning and she would listen, but for the other few times it didn’t work, he had to be more strict. 

He didn’t enjoy punishing her at all, and it was one of his least favorite parts of being a caregiver. He knew it was part of the job, but that didn’t mean that he had to want to do it. He was always so gentle, giving her warning after warning after warning so that he didn’t have to, but when he did, he kept it really light. Avery was one of the more sensitive littles he’d ever met, and just a small punishment would fix her behavior so fast because she would get so upset if she felt like her Daddy was angry at her. 

Because of this, she was only ever given one punishment. Timeout. Early bedtimes didn’t work on her, because if he picked her up and told her it was time for bed, she would happily go, no matter what time it was. As long as Daddy was cuddling her and she had her comfort items, it didn’t matter. So timeout was really the only thing that would correct her behavior. He would never take away her comfort items, and he would never hit her. The thought of caregivers spanking their littles as punishment made him so many levels of uncomfortable. It was supposed to be a coping mechanism for them to heal, not an excuse for abuse. 

Like he stated, the smallest punishment would redirect her behavior and she would immediately fix it afterwards, so timeout was perfect. He hated doing it, because he knew how upset she got when Daddy wasn’t there, so he had adjusted to where whenever she was in timeout he was just across the room. He would never want her to feel uncomfortable or scared, so he stayed close. This wouldn’t work as a punishment for a lot of littles, but for Avery, due to her personality, it worked perfectly. 

Unfortunately, today was one of Avery’s rough days. Most of her rough days are when she’s exhausted, angry, or otherwise in pain. This causes her littlespace to be even more upset, which can easily cause a tantrum at the smallest things. With her sensory issues, it was very difficult for her to keep herself calm on bad days. Luke never got angry with her for her meltdowns, knowing she had no intention of acting out, and it was out of her control. But today, Avery had come over, furious about something that had happened at home, and tired from work. It didn’t take very long for her to slip, curled up sobbing in her Daddy’s arms. 

She cried for a while, Luke gently comforting her, until it was time for him to make them dinner. Much to Avery’s dislike, they had run out of both of her biggest comfort foods, and had to try and figure out something else. She had grumpily agreed to something she still liked, just not as much. So, Luke was happy when she agreed, assuming that there would not be another issue. However, when the food was actually done, Avery had changed her mind. She took two bites of her food, before starting to cry and pushing her plate away from her. 

“No wan it! No, Daddy!” 

Luke had somewhat expected this, thinking there would be some sort of an issue when she actually sat down to eat. He kept his voice gentle, softly speaking to her. 

“Sweetpea, we agreed on this for dinner. If you can eat just a few more bites, we can get you some other snacks. I know it’s not exactly what you want. Let’s eat five more bites, okay?” 

Avery was not calming down in the slightest, instead, it was getting worse. She shoved the plate farther away from her, causing some of the food to spill off of it. Luke did his best not to react, knowing it would only make everything worse. 

Okay, I need to get suction cupped plates. Noted. 

Luke’s voice stayed gentle, but had a firmer edge to it. 

“Princess, we do not cause messes, okay? I know you don’t like it as much, so I’ll compromise. Three more bites, baby, just five total. You can do it, angel.” 

This time, she attempted to push back her chair and get down. They had a high top counter, and Luke knew that the second that she tried to get off, she would fall down. She never had the greatest coordination while she was little, always getting small little boo-boos. So he immediately got off his chair, walking over and loosely bracketing her in with his arms. 

“Baby, you know you can't get down by yourself. I will help you, but I need you to relax and calm down a bit so that I can lift you.” 

She didn’t listen, still attempting to get out of the chair. This time, Luke softly but firmly picked her up, regardless of the impending tantrum, and held her on his hip so she was eye level with him. He gently brushed the hair off of her forehead, doing everything he could to silently calm her down, because he could tell that tonight was going to be one of those nights. Gently rubbing her back, he pressed a soft kiss to her head before speaking, using the pad of his thumb to wipe away her flowing tears.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you. I just need you to calm down for a bit, okay, angel? We can get you something else to eat.” 

He carried her over to the kitchen, offering option after option, but whatever was tormenting Avery was not letting up, and her tantrum quickly returned, this time full force. She was fighting against his hold, screaming and crying so loudly Luke thought his eardrums would burst. He was still speaking softly to her, until she fought so hard he almost dropped her. That scared her even more, and she cried even louder. He gently went to the living room, setting her down on the carpet and handing her her comfort stuffed animal. 

“Princess, I need you to try and breathe for me. In, and out. That’s right, honey, good job!” 

She was taking ragged breaths, still crying, on the verge of hyperventilating, but it got better as the minutes passed. Luke mentally patted himself on the back for avoiding an absolute meltdown, even though they had toed the line. He softly hugged her, taking her hand while he walked over to clean up the dishes. 

“You need to eat something, pumpkin.” 

He regretted saying that, even if he needed to, when the hysterics started again. That singular sentence set her off, and she just started crying and screaming again.

“No! No, Daddy! No eats! No, no, no, no, no-”

He took a deep breath, thinking about how he wanted to handle this. He gave her one more chance, trying to relax her. 

“Honey, I need you to listen-”

He didn’t even finish his sentence before he was cut off with crying again. 

“NO!” 

And that was it. He hated punishing her so much, but he knew he wasn’t going to get through to her, and he gently picked her up. 

“We’re going to go take a timeout, sweetpea. Daddy’s not angry, but we need to take a little break.” 

He softly led her to a small chair in the living room, sitting her down and crouching in front of her.

“I’m not mad, honey. But you can’t keep screaming at me like this, angel. I tried very hard to be patient, but I think you need a little break. I’m not going to go anywhere, I’ll be right on the couch. Just five minutes, okay, sweetie?” 

Her crying hadn’t slowed, but the screaming had. He thanked all his lucky stars that she hugged her stuffie tighter and didn’t fight him on it. He knew how much it meant to her that he repeatedly reminded her that he wasn’t angry or disappointed. He phrased it carefully so it felt less like a punishment and more like a gentle redirection for her. 

“I love you, little one.” 

She sniffled a bit, reaching out for a hug. He gave her one immediately, kissing her head. 

“Wobes you too, Daddy.”  

He slowly let go, gently squeezing her hand before walking over to the couch. He set a five minute timer, absentmindedly scrolling on his phone while keeping a close watch on Avery. Every time he looked up and made eye contact with her, he blew her a kiss and smiled at her. When the timer went off, he walked up, scooped her up, and kissed her forehead. 

“I’m proud of you, little one.”

Her crying had slowed to a slow trickle of tears, hugging him tightly. She didn’t say anything, but a tiny smile crossed her face when he handed her a pacifier. She quietly shoved it in her mouth, and he sat and cuddled her for about fifteen minutes before he heard the telltale sign of her stomach rumbling. Her crying had worn her out, and she was finally hungry enough to be agreeable to eat. The third attempt at dinner went much more smoothly than the first two, and the rest of the night was a breeze. Luke never left Avery’s side, making sure she had no doubts about how much he still loved her, and she clung to him even as she fell asleep.

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Chapter Eight

Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Y/N Burgess is the granddaughter of Alex and Paul, and after having spent so many summers at their manor and always wondering why she was forbidden from entering the basement, she descends the steps into the world of the Order. She broke out the being that had been trapped in that glass cage, but what does he want with her now that he is free?

Warnings: Language, Reader Throws A Tantrum/Has A Meltdown.

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x Female!GranddaughterReader, based on Netflix’s ‘The Sandman’, Reader now has long-ish hair for plot reasons (Just so Morpheus can tug on it later).

Word Count: ~2.2k

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Looking at the scratches on your upper arm in the bathroom mirror, you applied another layer of ointment with a frown, wondering why it was taking so long to heal. Three weeks was plenty of time for them to at least scab over. Wounds just didn’t heal this slowly unless infected, which the lines didn’t appear to be. But you were pretty sure that the little black veins coming from the cuts weren’t supposed to be there…

“Worry about that later, you have a mission to complete, Y/N.” You told yourself, looking yourself directly in the eyes. You had decided that after three weeks of toying with the idea of just outright talking to Paul about what was down in the basement, today was the day. Besides, you could always use your wound as a trump card. Getting periodically chased and then banged up by those beasts from hell was wearing you down like an overstretched rubber band. At some point you were bound to snap. Thankfully you hadn’t gotten any more bad scratches, but the bruises and occasional nicks you received stumbling your way through The Dreaming, were getting harder and harder to pass off as hiking injuries. The gouge on your jaw was blatant and no amount of cosmetics could conceal the scab that had formed.

Merv and Lucienne were trying their best to help you stay safe from the beasts, but they could only do so much against the determined beasts. In the end, Lucienne called you an Enigma she was determined to solve. Spending time with the castles janitor Merv had you realizing just how much of a potty mouth the talking pumpkin-headed scarecrow had, and his facial expressions were hilariously accurate to his moods. Then there was the care of their missing king. You found their absolute loyalty to him rather admirable since learning that the king had been missing for over a century. One had to be quite dedicated to remain at their post for this long with a missing sovereign.

Abandoning your bathroom, you rewrapped the bandage around your scratches before tugging down the sleeve of your shirt. Breakfast was at eight o’clock exactly and Alex’s home physical therapy appointment was at nine thirty, that gave you a chance to talk to Paul without causing Alex any distress. You slowly made your way to the first floor and entered the dining room, moving straight for the tea tray first. You fixed yourself a cup of tea and sat down, glancing at your grandfathers.

“Good morning,” You spoke, taking a sip of tea. Paul looked over his glasses at you and Alex’s gaze narrowed on your jaw.

“Good morning, darling, sleep well?” Paul broached cheerfully, trying to cut the tension between the three of you.

“Quite well, grandpapa, and you?” You returned, keeping the fake pretense of calm.

“Very well, very well,” Alex let out a huff, clearly perturbed by your demeanor.

“Out with it!” Alex rasped, looking between you and Paul. “Whatever it is that’s between you two that you’ve been quarreling about for the last three weeks I’ve had enough of!”

Paul looked guilty while you set your gaze on the sigil mounted on the wall across from the table, your lips pursed.

“It’s nothing, darling, really. Y/N and I have simply a disagreement on a matter. It’s nothing to work yourself up about.” A disagreement on a matter? Surely you could have come up with a better excuse or lie than that, Paul. It wasn’t even believable to you.

“It’s about the garden,” You added, looking at Alex who’s eyes shrewdly examined yours. “I think that it needs a change, or perhaps a refresh? It hasn’t been updated or refreshed since before I was born. Surely its design is outdated…”

“It is most certainly not!” Paul exclaimed, insulted by your words. Just the reaction you were looking for. The grounds were Paul’s pride and joy, always had been since he’d been but a mere worker for Fawny Rig. You raised an eyebrow in counter, challenging Paul to refute your words. “The design is classic and the plant choice has been carefully selected to compliment the natural foliage.”

“I’m pretty sure the Columbine is over taking the Iris’s and the pond plants are strangling the lilies. I also believe you’ve managed to cross-breed a new species of moss. May I offer you my congratulations?” Paul scoffed while Herman wheeled in the breakfast cart. Your eyes didn’t stray from Paul’s as breakfast was served.

“Everything alright?” Herman asked, looking between the three of you. Alex let out a grumpy sigh, tapping his cane on the ground.

“Paul and Y/N are arguing over the garden this morning, Herman.” Alex said, his attention switching over to the plate in front of him. Paul snorted at his partner and picked up his fork, ending the conversation. Looking down at your own breakfast, you picked at the food. Garden aside, you were on the edge of your seat. You didn’t like the idea of forcing answers out of Paul, but he and Alex left you no choice. At least the rest of breakfast wasn’t as awkward as it had been at the start. When breakfast was finished, you helped Herman clear up before getting Alex to the room where he had his physical therapy. You made sure that he was set and comfortable before heading off to corner Paul.

You checked the dining room first, but he was no longer reading the morning post there, so you started walking around, poking your head in rooms until you found him. After checking a few rooms, one of the scant maids informed you that he was now in the study, reading. So you headed for the study, steeling your nerves for what you felt was going to be a very difficult conversation. It seemed like he was waiting for you to find him, because when you appeared in his peripheral he patted the spot next to him on the couch. That wasn’t a good sign. You sat down next to him and drummed your fingernails on your thighs.

It was a few seconds before he spoke or moved.

“Your grandfather will be very unhappy when he finds out that I’ve told you, but you have to understand, Y/N.” Paul started ever so softly. “This has tormented Alex for so long, all he wanted was to keep us safe. To keep you safe.”

Safe? Exactly what was down there? What was hidden beneath the manor mortars?

“I don’t understand, grandpapa,” You spoke in confusion. “Protect me from what? What could have such a hold on grandpapa Alex that it has tormented him for years?”

Alex slowly closed the book he had been reading and set it aside. He then reached for your hand and took it, giving your hand a squeeze as he looked into your eyes.

“Before I show you, I need to tell you about your great grandfather, Roderick.” You leaned back in your seat. Your lips pursing together. You had figured it had something to do with what you learned while at the archives.

“I know about his obsession with the occult.” You said, chewing on your lip. “And I am also aware of the Order of Ancient Mysteries.”

“I figured as such, you are our granddaughter… but you don’t know what Roderick did, Y/N.” Paul said, his face gravely serious. “He didn’t just dabble in the occult, he was obsessed with it, and one night, one night he took it too far and we’ve had to deal with the repercussions.”

“What did he do?”

“He tried to summon Death.” Tried to? Well he obviously wasn’t successful and ended up summoning something else… and the only reason you could believe what he was talking about was because of your dreams and everything that had happened to you recently. Paul stood up and tugged on your hand. “Come, darling, it is time you see what is in the basement.”

You stood up from the couch and let him lead you towards that basement door you had always been told to never go near. As he punched in the code to the door, that nauseating pit of dread in your stomach rebelled and you started feeling physically sick. You walked down the stone steps and every step you took felt heavier and heavier. Your heart started to race. Reaching the bottom of the stone stairs, Paul took a right and moved forwards a few steps before stopping. He looked at you.

“Please, darling, don’t judge us until you have the full story. This has been quite difficult, especially for Alex.” You didn’t like how he said those words and looking down at the arm he gestured towards the end of the metal and stone hall, you started moving forwards. Judging by the way the basement was set up, it probably was used as a dungeon when it was first constructed. Approaching the open gates on the left, you looked at the security guards sitting at a modern table, minding to themselves. You slowed down and Paul wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “If you don’t want to see, I completely understand.”

“I’m through wondering,” You told him. He gave you a firm nod and you both turned and walked down the stone steps of the brightly lit room. You froze in place the moment your eyes caught sight of what was in the middle of the room. It felt like your heart had stopped or your blood had turned to ice. Feeling like you were going to throw up, you were caught in silver blue eyes staring into yours, trapped behind a cage of glass. “What have you done.” You whispered those words so softly you almost didn’t hear them yourself. It couldn’t be coincidental that the man that had plagued you nearly your entire life, was the very man trapped in the basement of Fawny Rig.

His gaze pierced into yours as if to say ‘finally’. You were compelled to step forward in a trance, approach him in a mindless state, entirely captivated by his beauty and frightfully vibrant eyes. But the horror and dread that rotted away in your veins kept you rooted in your spot. You felt petrified, your body shaking with visible trembles. All those years of torture, pain, and suffering, condensing into this one moment that stole your breath from your lungs. But what you felt was dichotomous. Beyond the horror and fear was an impenetrable feeling of possession. You were his.

“How long?” You finally whispered, looking at Paul. “How long has he been down here?”

Paul looked entirely uncomfortable with that question, but answered honestly.

“It has been over one hundred years… but Darling, you have to understand. He is dangerous—“

“You and I need to have a word upstairs.” You spoke, your voice now eerily calm. “Now.”

You gave the man that haunted you in both your waking hours and dreams, one last look before turning around and striding from the basement. Paul reluctantly followed behind you. As you walked, you could feel your body quivering with rage and horror. It was an indescribably dreadful feeling and one that shook you to the core. You knew exactly who he was and his imprisonment was far worse than what your grandfathers’ probably thought. You walked your way to the study, not wanting your incoming shouting to disturb Alex. The moment the study door was shut you exploded.

“Do you have any idea what you have done!?” You exploded, rounding on Paul like a viper poised to strike. “Never mind that you are keeping him locked up in a glass cage like an animal, unwilling and in such state!”

“Darling he is a very old, very dangerous being!” Paul argued back. “After Roderick summoned and trapped him, we could not guarantee that upon letting him free, he would not retaliate!”

“Well of course he’ll retaliate! He’s being held against his will!” You argued back, running a frustrated hand through your hair. “This is… bloody hell you’ve no idea what you’ve done by keeping him trapped.”

“Y/N, you must understand, Roderick, when learning that he could not get the being to cooperate with him, performed another spell. He’s bound to the Burgess line and will pick someone to bind himself to! We’ve no idea what will happen when he is freed and we don’t want anything to happen to you. We don’t want him going after you.” Your anger broke ever so slightly. You were still shaking at the revelation of course, but he and Alex were trying to make sure that you wouldn’t be hurt.

“Grandpapa,” You whispered, turning your eyes to him with a defeated look in on your face. “It’s already too late for that, who do you think he chose?” Paul’s face turned ashen, for it was that moment that he realized that you knew far more than he or Alex had anticipated.

“That went better then expected,” Fred spoke, adjusting himself in his seat. “Expected ‘er to go off on ‘em right there.”

“Yeah well, she wanted to talk, didn’ she?” Ernie replied, looking at Fred. “From the look on her face I suspect that the mum isn’t to happy.”

An explosive voice erupted from above and the pair glanced at the ceiling. There was more yelling, floating down from the ceiling like snow from the sky, the voice of Y/N Burgess quite clear and irate. Even the being, still and statuesque as ever, lifted his eyes upwards. Ernie cocked her head as the shouting intensified.

“Right mad, she is.” Fred chuckled with a small laugh. “Always took her to be a firecracker.”

They both looked to the man they were guarding, he was back to sitting cross legged in the center of his cage. They both shivered. In all their years of guarding, they had never seen his eyes blazing such a frightening silver glow.

Date Published: 9/9/22

Last Edit: 5/29/23

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[punksarahreese]

“You don’t get to call me that.” for estrangement omggg

Heat of the Moment

Estrangement | Exes!AU

Ship: Reesker

CW: accusations of abuse

WC: 1076

They had been yelling for a while, to the point where Sarah expected someone from PD to come banging on the door about a noise complaint. Ava had backed herself into the wall beside her fishtank, mirroring Sarah’s closed off body language that urged her to stay back. Startled eyes tracked her every movement, noting every shift and step the other woman took.

She wasn’t sure how this argument started, just like everyone before it. Sarah had let herself in with a huff, tossing her keys onto the coffee table and not bothering to pick them up when they slipped onto the pristine grey carpet. That’s where her eyes stayed frozen as she looked for words, searching for a way to convey what she wanted.

“You keep me isolated,” Ava’s whisper was barely audible, “When was the last time I went out with friends? The last time I met up with you and your friends? I don’t have anyone but you in Chicago, Sarah, and part of me wonders if you wanted to keep it that way!”

“Don’t you dare say that,” Sarah spat, “Your inability to make friends is not my fault at all.”

“Right, so the way no one ever thinks to acknowledge me when they invite you out right in front of me, that’s all coincidence?’

Sarah scoffed, “Well I think your totally approachable personality could be to blame, Ava.”

“I have a personality disorder, Sarah!” Ava’s tone matched hers as she uncrossed her arms, visibly shaking. She was looking at her girlfriend in disbelief, wondering where on earth the understanding, loving woman she knew went in all of this.

“That doesn’t excuse anything.”

“I never said it did. It’s an explanation, Sarah, not an excuse. You know how hard I have worked to be better socially, you know I’m trying. You of all people would know…”

Sarah ignored the way she blinked rapidly, if she did she might lose her courage. If she acknowledged the hurt in her girlfriend’s watery eyes, she might drop the subject and then the cycle would begin anew. Love and care turning to small conflicts and then even bigger meltdowns. It wouldn’t change, it wouldn’t stop; not unless Sarah fought back.

“They’ve noticed.”

“What?”

Sarah never once met her gaze, “At the hospital, they talk. They talk about how you act and how unfeeling you are. They wonder if you care about anyone but yourself. Your fights with Connor, your involvement with his dad. People have been talking for months.”

“I never did anything with Cornelius-”

“I’m not finished,” she said firmly, “They’ve talked to me, Ava. They ask if everything is okay at home. We say we’re dating but they never see us outside of work, not together. Some of the nurses ask if I’m okay, if there’s something wrong in our relationship.”

“I didn’t think anything was wrong… We just don’t do PDA, we aren’t those people. Sarah you know I never did anything with Connor’s dad and my relationship with Connor was a mutual issue. I’m not unfeeling, you know better than anyone that I feel too much. It’s why I have to depersonalize at work, otherwise I will break down.”

“Ava, I have been researching,” Sarah sighed, “Cluster B disorders… I think you were misdiagnosed.”

“Sarah Reese, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t you dare say it.”

Unruly curls bounced as she shook her head rapidly, mind racing too much to listen for the hurt in Ava’s voice. She had poured over countless journals and information for months, asking every psychiatrist she knew for information. Her notebook was littered with notes, messy beyond legibility for anyone else, all citing experiences she had recalled. Sarah had even reached out to her mom, something she never did anymore, asking for stories about her dad. She recited every observed behaviour and memory she had about the two of them, Ava and her dad, long enough that a connection bloomed in her mind.

“Your behaviour is concerning,” she started, “I can’t ignore it anymore, Ava. I wonder if you feel anything, really, because it doesn’t seem like it sometimes. I don’t want to believe you’re lying to me but that's all I can think now. Is all of it made up, do you really love me?”

“Sarah, I care about you so-”

Can you really love me? I think I have a habit of finding people who remind me of the man I grew up without… I begin to wonder if the pattern has any substance. The way you act, some of the things you’ve said, it doesn’t add up. I don’t think you’re borderline, Ava, I think you have ASPD.”

“Sarah,” tears had started tracking down Ava’s cheeks as the pain bubbled in her chest, “Don’t say that. You can’t diagnose me. I have trauma, I have all the markers of BPD and OCD. I was diagnosed after the last incident in my twenties, you know that; you read my notes. What are you even saying?”

“I’m saying people are asking if you abuse me emotionally,” Sarah’s voice was unlike she had ever heard before, cold and ripping at her heart like daggers, “My mind keeps comparing you to my dad and it all makes sense now. I’m saying I am starting to believe what they said may be true. I think maybe I flock to abusers with pretty words and lies-”

“No!” Ava’s scream rang through her apartment, punctuated by a thud as she backed into the wall again. Tears were freefalling down her face and leaving clumps of mascara behind, highlighting the agony she felt as she was staring at the woman she loved. Her hands shook violently as she tried to channel everything she felt into a feasible emotion, feeling like everything would bubble up until it exploded.

“You- you don’t get to call me that! After everything… How fucking dare you, Sarah? A-after I tried so hard, for years, to not become like the people who hurt me. You can call me a lot of things but psychopath? Abuser? I would never hurt you, and certainly not like this.”

“Ava, the research shows-”

“Out!” she screeched and scrambled to grab Sarah’s keys off the carpet, tossing them towards the door to make distance between them. She backed up again, arms crossed tightly around her body, “Get out, Sarah.”

[the-spooky-children]

Little theory ramble here idk lol:

There are quite a lot of theorising videos and posts for SM floating around and I feel that some of them are so close but are looking in the wrong places. Like, lots focus on Pump's eyes being blue but the actual thing going on is that, after witnessing Eyes, everyone reacts in the same way that he did except for Skid. Skid is the outlier here, not Pump. Some people dismiss this as "oh there's netting on his mask which blocks it" but I feel that's a lazy excuse and the real reason is much more interesting and reveals what the cult's intentions are (at least a little bit).

Obviously I can't claim that I know everything because I am not one of the people working on the show, but quite a lot of the things I've thought have already been confirmed (Skid's dad is dead or at least was dead at one point, the giant spider will be a villain in the future, the cult is sacrificing children to Eyes, Skid's dad will come back in the future, etc) and I feel like things are really starting to come together.

So, the cult are probably paying Frank large sums of money to kidnap children so he can give them to them to feed to Eyes. This could be so that they get powers, oute of fear and desperation so that Eyes doesn't kill them, both (most likely), or something else. I also don't think that Skid's dad is a normal human, and whatever makes him different was probably passed on to Skid. I think that something that the dad was born with, was cursed with, that he did to himself, whatever, made it so that he was immune to Eyes' influence and maybe also gained powers(idk), and that Skid was born also having this ability.

(The next thing is a MatPat-level dive with almost no paragraph breaks I'm just getting my ideas down quick now ok lol)

I think that what happened, at least right now, is that Lila and the Dad met as both being members of the cult, and that after falling in love and having a child, they tried to escape but were followed by the cult and were forced to move (Lila and toddler Skid are shown with moving boxes in one of the pictures on the wall in SM 4, picture taken by Jaune showing they've known eachother for a long time). They lived in the town for a few years (some people think they haven't been there for that long, but the amount of stuff, dust and cobwebs in the attic makes this unlikely) before the cult found them and murdered the Dad in his own home, leaving his corpse to decompose in the attic stairway. This led to Lila having an emotional meltdown about it, which made her rip up or scribble over all photos that reminded her of her husband, which may also be the reason for why his body was not moved. A little side theory that I have is that the Dad's ghost haunts the mannequin in the attic, which would make sense if he died right outside of it, but that isn't that important right now.

The cult were unable to get to Lila and Skid for some reason, but set up camp in the town in the house on the hill. This house is one that happened to have been build on top of the burrow of some sort of Lovecraftian god-like creature called The Eyes of The Universe. This is a creature that they had been worshipping for decades, and now that it is within their reach (its home being revealed after it creates a hole in the floor to rescue Skid and Pump from Roy's creepy uncle, who was probably apart of the cult too), they can begin to get to business again. Mr Clown was probably the leader before he was killed by Jack shooting him, and Skid is probably who they want to be their leader eventually. (Also, you know they said "we will take all and get everything, everything will give us more than is all"? I think that, in this situation, Skid is Everything and Pump is All).

Eyes hypnotised Pump, the Hatzgang, maybe Kevin and some random people on the street, with Skid seemingly immune to this. After this, Eyes is visible in the sky from now on, which makes me think Skid and Pump may have woke it from a very long hibernation and it is now on watch of the town. Skid and Pump are threatened by a demonically possed Dexter the Exterminator, which alerts Eyes. It takes over Pump's body to help them get out of the situation, which is lucky because Skid would be so dead if Pump wasn't there. Dexter's ghost immediately possesses a Happy Fella doll which seems to have been designed to capture the souls of children like some FNAF animatronic shit (sorry for bringing that up I'm listening to the new Living Tombstone FNAF SB song on loop while writing this) and Moloch is seemingly dead. When Lila, Skid and Pump are hiding from Dexter in the attic the mannequin falls on Dexter, stunning him (which is what led to my haunted mannequin theory), as a massive spider is seen on the ceiling as an explanation for the ridiculous amount of webs covering the room. The Happy Fellas are destroyed (incoudisng the one Jaune brought), which probably means that Dexter is hanging around their house now. Bob Velseb, who is obviously the demon guy from the first episode, is then revealed to have escaped from prison and is running around, beginning to kill and eat people, which will likely be the plot of SM 5. The photo Pelo posted on Twitter of the next episode hints that a game of hide and seek will be played and that we will get a very disturbingly detailed look at the murderous and cannibalistic tendencies of this killer.

Also, side note, something I really hope happens in SM 5 that probably won't is that Bob tries to chop down a door with an axe with Lila on the other side screaming with some sort of reference to The Shining

We get lime, Sans Undertale, anime girls (Touhou maybe?), some actors that I don't know and blue e-boy, also rainbow beads which I hope to got aren't anal beads

And, I know what you're thinking, yes I do think that Jack and John are gay lovers and I really hope they kiss after tracking down Bob and apprehending him at the end of the episode

This ended up being so long I'm so sorry lmao

[lord-of-fidgets]

PLEASE READ

Today at work I was verbally attacked by a coworker. It was just me and her at the time, so there was no witnesses. She was mad at me for yesterday (where I was having a meltdown while trying to count and do three pages of chores at work and help people and more) and tonight verbally unleashed on me, yelling at me, trying to get a manager to send me home early.

Tonight I had asked for a break since I had only had one, less than 3 minutes long, hours ago and worked over 6 hours today, before they even arrived. She said she hadn't even had one yet. I said I didn't know I was always focused on what I'm doing. She said that's my problem, I'm always focused on what I'm doing. And I tried to explain again why yesterday happened and why it's hard for me to be aware of my tone, surroundings, etc, because of my autism and how it can effect things.

She said I was using it as an excuse and that I can't be autistic and that if I was I must be the smartest autistic ever ( her words. And implying that autistic people are dumb?). I offered then to show her my diagnostic papers and explained I was also in special Ed. She said she didn't care and that the one customer from yesterday told her that I should have "had my ass whooped".

Thing is if I genuinely did something wrong and didn't realize it, I ask always ask people to tell me and I apologize if I did something genuinely wrong.

But the only time I bring up my autism is when I try to explain to people if I don't get a joke, or it effects how people treat me/perceive me etc.

My boss said he didn't see anything about me like what she was saying when he came back tonight. But is going to talk to me on Monday about it or Tuesday and I'm so nervous because I didn't expect this whole drama.

The same coworker tried to accuse me of hiding in the bathroom when I went to go use it because I had to go and because I had only went once before the entire day and just got done drinking a drink which my boss saw me drink earlier.

What do I do? Because the way she yelled at me, tried to deny I'm autistic despite me offering her copies of my diagnostic papers, and treats me really hurt. And then she said "oh and when (our manager) comes I know you're going to act different. You always do when it's just us." (And she rolled her eyes just then). And I'm confused by that statement like I genuinely don't understand it.

I caught her calling our boss on me and saying I was slamming things down and stuff like that. I don't think I was but if that's how people were perceiving me I genuinely feel upset about that because I didn't mean it.

Like I'll own up if I messed up but i don't think I deserved what she was saying or her yelling at me or using every chance to drop an R slur around me even though she knows it's wrong. Then she claimed she was in special Ed too but also she says she just has dyslexia ( which ok I can't deny or confirm that it's not my business). And it's all really just sad drama I don't want and am confused about how it started.

Like no holes barred I'm so confused. I try my best every day I'm there.

Also: I'm fully aware of my mistakes and will own up to them. I'm not perfect. I know this. But I feel like I didn't deserve this. And she knows the R word makes me uncomfortable and uses it every chance she gets around me.

[mr-leach]

I need to psych myself up to do something that will most likely be unpleasant please bear with me

So the kitten situation from weeks ago has. Developt. In that the juvenile cats belong to someone so there would have been no need for me to take them in in the first place. So like. This is good, this was a great relief.

However one of the adult cats had very recently had kittens and the owner mentioned that she was looking for homes for them. I told her about my friends who were already on board for kittens before I knew the juveniles had an owner and that I could reaxh out to them for her. Also, in my selfishness, I offered to take one in myself.

Now, I know my roommate is not gonna want to let me do this. I know it in my soul. He is unfortunately that predictable a person.

This is despite the fact that, after double and triple checking with him, he stated that the ONE AND ONLY reason he was uncomfortable with me rescuing kittens was because "well they probably have diseases and what if they make me sick and then I visit my grandmother and she dies and it'll be your fault". Like, I could smell the bullshit steaming hot fart clouds from that excuse and asked him multiple times to just be honest about why he didn't want me to do it and he chose to triple down.

So like, you would think I have a gotcha, right? These are kittens that have never been outside and have an owner that makes sure they are as healthy as she can manage in her situation. He can't claim they are dirty wild animals that will give him every disease and since that was his ONLY hangup and he confirmed that much TWO MORE TIMES he should have no problem with it

But like this guy is allistic and doesn't operate on logic (this is a joke hashtag not all allistics) so I fully expect him to start shit with me over it

And like him starting shit with me amounts to him coming over to whatever room I'm in, cornering and terrorizing me until I have an hours long meltdown and so like im high key scared about it;;

But like. This lady is not in the best situation, she has a lot of shit to deal with, I want to help her....and like also im a grown fucking adult and I want to adopt a cat!! I want Victor to have a companion for when Malcolm is working!!

I know I have every right. Especially when he screwed me over SO bad and still does not care. When he mistreated me and used me for clout and bullied me like he bullies all of his friends. Like the logic lines up it does not track that I should feel bad about wanting to adopt another cat when I know he does not have allergies or anything like it should really be a non issue. But the fear is so potent like I just am so scared lol. It's stupid.

[fan-fantasies]

Long Day

A/N: I’ve been having a really hard time lately and I feel like I’m letting everyone down by now writing. But my work life is super stressful right now and home isn’t much better unfortunately. I hope you guys like this one and thanks for sticking around ❤️

Pairing: Eddie x reader

Warnings: slight dom/sub dynamics, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (both receiving), crying/stress

“I can’t do it anymore! I’m done! I’m gonna…I’m gonna fake my death and run away!”

“Isn’t this the third time she’s said that this week?” Dustin whispered to Mike. Mike just nodded and watched you throw your tantrum.

You paced back and forth around the club room, all eyes watching you intently. They had experienced some of your meltdowns before but this one felt different. Something about the way your typically confident voice trembled told them something deeper was going on.

“Why don’t you stay and hang out with us?” Jeff suggested. You contemplated it for a minute but shook your head.

“I have to get to work,” you sighed. You would’ve loved to stay and play a campaign with them but you couldn’t afford to take a night off.

You hated your job, but you needed the money to support yourself. You were putting yourself through college all while living alone and working as much as you possibly could. You had graduated the year Eddie was supposed to but you’d still stop in and say hi to the club whenever you could.

“Why don’t you stop by my place after your shift?” Eddie suggested, upset that you were so distraught.

“I-I have to study,” you mumbled. Eddie got up from his throne and walked over to you. He pulled you in for a hug as you sucked in a deep breath, doing your best to not cry.

“Come over to my place when you’re done.” This time it wasn’t a question so you just nodded- you could always bring your books with you.

You left after Eddie gave you one more squeeze, as if you hold you together for just a while longer before you shattered into a thousand pieces.

“She needs a vacation,” Mike said after you closed the door behind you. Everyone nodded in agreement before starting the campaign.

After the agonizingly long shift, you drove yourself over to Eddie’s. You contemplated just going home and calling him to apologize, but something in you told you that that’s where you needed to be.

You didn’t bother knocking when you went up to his door- you knew Wayne wasn’t home and you were always welcome there.

“Eddie?” You called out.

“Bedroom!” You heard him say from the back. You threw your bag on the table and slowly made your way to his room.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said when you entered.

“Hey, Eds. Look, I really can’t stay long. Work was-“

“Nope.”

“Excuse me?”

“No work talk. No school talk. No stress talk,” he said. You let your shoulders slump a little. Everything was building up inside and you felt like if you didn’t get it out, you would explode.

“B-but-“

“Do you trust me?” He asked, cutting you off once more. Your brows furrowed in confusion. “Do. You. Trust. Me?”

“Yeah, of course I do, Eds.” He took a deep breath before approaching you.

“If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so,” he said. Your heart was racing with anticipation; any thought of work and school leaving your mind completely.

“Okay.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, not sure what to even say.

His hand reached forward, caressing your face with the back of his hand. The act was so simple yet so intimate, and it was wrong that it felt so right.

“I’m gonna undress you now, okay?” Your eyes shot wide open at his words. “Trust me.”

You nodded slowly, holding your breath as he pulled your work shirt over your head. Your pants were next to fall to the floor, leaving you in only a bra and panties. Eddie had seen you in a bathing suit before but this was entirely new.

He took a moment to drink in your figure, never once making you feel like he was scrutinizing every flaw. He licked his lips before moving closer, his breath fanning your face and sending a chill down your spine.

“You’re gonna be good and listen to every work I say, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good girl. Go lay down for me, gorgeous. Face down.”

You did as he said, trusting him completely. His mattress wasn’t the most comfortable, but to your tired and sore body, it was heaven. You could hear him rustling behind you and as much as you wanted to look, you also wanted to be surprised. The bed dipped behind you and you started to fidget with anticipation.

His rough hands found their way to the small of your back, fingers digging into your knotted muscles. You wanted to enjoy it, but you couldn’t stop the way your heart dropped when you realized he was just giving you a massage. You scolded yourself for having your hopeful mind in the gutter.

You had to admit, he was really good with his hands. He loosened your tense muscles in no time.

“Do you still trust me?” Eddie asked.

“Definitely.”

His hands slid lower, over the curve of your ass and dipping between your thighs. Your hips involuntarily lifted, allowing his hand better access to your covered cunt. You swore you heard him chuckle from behind you but you decided to ignore it.

He pulled your panties off and immediately slid his fingers through your folds. You started to grind down onto his hand but he stopped you.

“Patience, baby. I’m gonna make you feel good, I promise.”

His fingers found your clit, rubbing slow circles around the sensitive area. It felt amazing but you needed more. With everything that had been building up, you felt like you needed a release, but Eddie wasn’t giving it to you quick enough.

“Eddie, please,” you choked out. His free hand came down onto your ass in a loud smack.

“Whiny girls don’t get what they want. I’m gonna take care of you, just trust me.”

His fingers circled faster as you tried your best to hold still. He slid two fingers into you and you bucked your hips against him. He allowed you to that time, continuing to pump his fingers into you.

A few more minutes of that and a pressure was building in your stomach. He could tell by the way your pussy was clenching onto his fingers that you were close. He sped up his actions.

“Come on, baby. Let go for me. Cum all over my fingers,” he said sweetly. You came with a loud whine, rutting against his fingers. It felt good, but part of you was still left unsatisfied.

Eddie pulled his fingers from you and flipped your over. You had no time to react before he dove in, attacking your sensitive pussy with his tongue.

“Fuck, Eddie!”

“You didn’t think I was done with you yet, did you?” He asked with a smirk before returning to his feast.

Your hands flew to his hair to hold him in place as you shamelessly humped his face. His fingers dug into your hips to help hold you in place as he brought you closer to your second orgasm. Your pussy clenched around nothing, aching from emptiness.

The coil in your stomach wound tighter and tighter, refusing to break. Tears threatened to slip down your cheeks from the frustration.

“Eddie, need more,” you choked out.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let go for me. You can do it. Be a good girl and cum for me,” he said. He sucked on your clit before licking long strips up your pussy. He slapped your thigh as if you coax your orgasm from you.

You did as Eddie said and tried to let go. You emptied your mind for a split second and it was enough to let that coil snap and your orgasm wash over you. Your body tensed momentarily as you came, a tear slipping down your cheek. Your body finally slumped back onto the mattress as Eddie worked you through your orgasm.

He licked his lips and looked up at you with a smile, only to be met with hooded, lust filled eyes. He got up and went to grab a towel to clean you up but you stopped him.

“Don’t you want me to do something?” You asked. As much as Eddie wanted to sink his cock into you and fuck you senseless, he didn’t want to be selfish.

“Tonight was about you, baby. You don’t have to worry about me,” he said sweetly.

“But I want…I want to feel you inside of me,” you said quietly.

You looked up at Eddie with your wet eyes and pouted lip and he knew he was a goner. He reached down to caress your face with one hand while unzipping his jeans with the other.

“How can I say no to such a pretty face?” He asked, pulling himself free.

He ran the tip across your lips which allowed you to taste the salty precum already leaking from his hard cock.

“Open up for me, baby.”

You did as he said without question or hesitation. You fit as much into your mouth as possible and sucked him vigorously. He let out a raspy breath as he guided your head up and down his shaft. He pushed you too far, making you gag. He expected you to pull back but you didn’t, you just kept going. Spit was pooling at the corners of your mouth that dripped down your chin. His eyes nearly rolled back in his head and he knew he had to stop or else he was going to cum down your throat.

He pulled his cock out and you almost let a whine slip out. You decided you weren’t finished so you dipped your head lower and slowly licked your tongue toward his balls. He jumped at the sensation but let you continue. You were delicate with the way you let your lips wrap around him, kitten licking away. He pumped his cock over your face and he swore he was in heaven.

“Fuck, that feels so good. Wanna feel your pussy though- wanna cum inside you,” he grunted. You laid back and watched him discard the rest of his clothes.

He crawled over you and wasted no time positioning his cock at your entrance. He slid into you slowly, letting you get used to his size.

“Can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he sighed happily once fully sheathed inside you.

He pulled out and slowly thrust back in, savoring every moment that he was taking you. You felt so full and you knew you’d never need anything else so long as you had him.

“Harder, Eddie. Please,” you moaned. He increased his pace, his head falling to the crook of your neck. He placed wet kisses to your throat as he pounded into you.

He tried to hold off his own orgasm when he felt you tightening around him. He knew you were close and he wanted you to finish first.

“Come on, baby. I know you’re almost there. Just let go, just let me make you feel good.”

“Oh, Eddie!” Tears rolled down your cheeks freely as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. Your mind went completely blank, the only thing in it was Eddie and the pleasure he gifted you with.

Eddie finished quickly after, stilling deep inside you. You both panted while coming back to reality.

“That was…incredible, Eddie,” you told him. His lips twitched into a smile as he looked down at you. He pulled out with a soft hiss and got up to clean you off.

“I just wanted you to relax for a bit,” he said. Knowing that warmed your heart.

“That’s the only reason we just had mind blowing sex?” You asked with a smirk.

“Well I’ve also been pining after you for years now and you’ve been too oblivious to notice,” he scoffed playfully.

“I just never wanted to get my hopes up,” you laughed nervously. He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.

“I never said anything because you’ve always had so much on your plate and I didn’t want to add to it,” he admitted.

“Oh, Eds; you’ve never added to it, you were always the one person that was able to distract me from it.”

“Well maybe you could find some time in your busy schedule to squeeze me in for a date?” He asked.

“I’ll make all the time in the world for you,” you smiled. He kissed you again, unable to contain the smile on his lips.

And in that moment, Eddie was the only thing on your mind and you couldn't care less.

————————

Taglist: @mellomadness @munsaniac @thebookbakery @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes @rafecameronswhore @dootys @tiredwritersworld @lily-sinclair-2006 @dylanobriens-love @moonbeampillgoth @lady-hellfire-1985 @lagataprrr @whore-of-many-hot-men @crimsonsabbath @moldy-khunt @wheaty-melon @alyygx @magnificentmermaid

[thelonesomequeen]

I personally can't wait for the AD feature because 1. I love interior design and I'm so curious to see how those three rooms turned out after getting little previews for months and 2. because the subsequent meltdown from certain people will be popcorn worthy. I'm sure they'll come up with all kinds of serpentine reasons and excuses to try and discredit you and your source(s) because they hate what it means

I just hope the finished product looks better than the previews we’ve seen because I’ve not been a fan. But sometimes things end up coming together in the end.

I know when we “renovated” our backyard (we did a shit ton of work, but I don’t know if that word applies to what we did) my parents had an “oh no baby, what is you doin?!” moment, but when it was done they were awed and now want to swap homes 😂 sometimes the vision can really differ from reality once it’s all put together 🦎

Also. Kind of thinking about getting one of these cool cups. I’ve heard it holds a whole bottle of wine. So if I can have my drinky drink with snacks in one hand and my other hand free to scroll with my phone? WIN!

[calypso-finale]

Hundred Seventeen.

Standing with the parents waiting for the kids to come out, I don’t know how Rylee does it. They are so stuck up but like how does she even be a mother, this shit is hard work even with Grace but she has gone for private leave but maybe I am just doing the most because Aziel feels sad about both parents being missing so I am just stood here waiting for them to come out, the parents are staring at me like I am crazy and even then the teachers question me who I am, but I get it, they need to be sure. Aziel had a full on melt down when his mother left, he didn’t want her to go and it took a lot for me to coax him out, like he couldn’t talk to his dad so that upset him and then I wouldn’t do this and that and everything was just making him so sad, so I ended up taking him out which worked but he is not happy at all “you’re Rylee sister aren’t you?” this lady came over to me “oh yeah, hi” I smiled “I can tell, I am Jordan mother” letting out an oh “yes, Aziel talks so much about him, he told me that his friend did this and they did that in school. He is so sweet, Rylee sent me a picture of them. I think they are friends for life” she smiled “they can be a handful, you know boys” I smiled “are you Aziel carer” looking at this lady “erm, yeah” I am so confused “may I speak to you please, in private” I cringed “sure” walking behind her “you’re his auntie correct” oh I wonder what this is all about “I am” I pray he is being good; he likes to play up when things are up in the air in his life. I feel sick to my stomach right now, I pray he is ok and that he hasn’t done anything “Aziel is here” she pointed, looking through the window and I can just see him sat there “Aziel got into trouble today, we spoken to both parties but one is harder to really speak too, during play time Aziel hit another child and then broke his glasses which he then couldn’t see all day until his mother came to give him another pair but it’s the extent of how he hit him, he was fighting really badly until a member of staff saw and then he ran away, this type of behaviour is not permitted here and it’s necessary we nip this in the bud and that we do speak to his mother and father but, Aziel said he did spit on him but the child he did hit has special needs and it’s hard to speak too, this is his mother Mina” oh this is awkward “I am so sorry what Aziel did, we will pay for the glasses” she smiled “oh it’s just kids, it’s ok. I was just here to get his jacket but please it’s fine” I could murder Aziel, what the hell “I will deal with it, I am sorry” I apologised to the teacher, I can’t believe this child.

Aziel little bad self, that child of my sisters is not good “Aziel” I said to him, he won’t look at me, he keeps turning his face, being in this SUV he is sat across me as we go home “excuse me, you don’t get out of that car seat too” he looked at me but mean mugged me “why are you trying to get out?” He tugged at his jacket “it’s annoying you” he is just upset really “Aziel, talk to TT. What’s wrong? You can’t be fighting people, and that boy has broken glasses that is not good. Now when I tell your mom she isn’t going to be happy with you” I pointed, he started kicking his legs “no tell mommy” he cried out, I decided maybe I don’t want kids “then stop!” I spat, looking at my phone, Damson is calling in the middle of a meltdown “babe” I answered “I am concerned for the nephew, what are you doing to him” he laughed “don’t, I decided. I don’t want kids, but I feel so bad, I wanted to spend time with you and now I’m doing this” I sighed “no tell mommy” Aziel said “I have no choice, Aziel you broke his glasses. His mother was so sweet. They don’t have hooliganism in that school” he yelped out “what did he do? Have a fight” I am so embarrassed right now “he had a fight with a child right, this boy has special needs. He said the boy spit on him, I am like I believe he did. He is special but then Aziel got mad and was fighting him and broke his glasses. And that boy couldn’t see all day, oh my god. His mother came, a Chinese lady right. I was like oh I am sorry; I am his auntie. We will pay for it, she was so kind she said no it’s ok, kids play. But it was bad, what he did was bad” he is listening but is also laughing “I think he should just go to a normal school; they don’t want no seed of Cench there, but don’t feel bad. How about, I come over with Pizza, is Rylee ok with that? It’s her home” he is cute “aww really? And she is fine with it, she don’t mind” I can see him too “fine, I can come to you. I mean my ma said we married now” we both laughed “oh god, don’t. I love your mother” he scoffed “yeah that you have her number Ti!” He spat “how can I say no!? Please stop but come over, hopefully he has calmed down. But I don’t want kids Damson” I don’t want it “but as cute as me? Come on now, but see you soon peaches” I sniggered “I love it when you say that to me” he sounds so sexy with it too “see you soon and good luck with that one” I need it “thank you, bye babe” putting the phone down “are you done?” I asked, “no tell mommy!” He spat “don’t speak to me” I have to tell Rylee; he is playing me right now.

Aziel dropped his bag onto the floor “ok does that belong there?” I asked him “no” we just stared at each other “what is the bad behaviour? Is it because mom is not here? Keep it up you’re going to see me mad, pick it up!” I shouted, now I see why Rylee is blowing her top because these kids “and don’t you sigh out” looking at my phone now my mother wants to call “take your stuff upstairs and change your clothes” he is mad and sad this child “I can’t” he turned to me “why can’t you?” Answering the call “mommy help” letting out an oh “I am coming then, when is Grace back. Jesus, hey mom” this is a headache “what is happening there, everything ok” I laughed “I have decided kids aren’t for me that is all” Aziel came back down the steps “I want bath, I do it” shaking my head “don’t you dare, I will come. You touch it I will be mad” I need Rylee back or Grace, imagine both gone “that bad, what is my grand baby doing, you got Grace there. Lazy girls” I sniggered “Grace had family problem; I am alone with this child. I see why Rylee is mad always. We see the nice and the real thing ain’t it baby” my mom laughed “oh stop it, kids are fun. Give Rylee the phone, she has been ignoring me” she said “Rylee ain’t here mom, she is in Iceland” my mom is confused now, I know her “but why?” She questioned “Oakley went on a meltdown; he just needs a moment to get better. Rachel asked her to help him because Oakley is cussing her out, he is just running around London doing dumb things, he doesn’t sleep. He is just needing a little cry and peace, so she asked me to stay with Grace but Grace then said that so now I am alone. And if you’re trying to call Oakley don’t bother, he lost or threw his phone I am not sure, but Rylee isn’t answering anyone besides me, because of Aziel” I huffed out “wow! Ok, your dad has been trying to call him. Oh god, I saw it in his eyes. I knew it, but fine. Can you tell her to call me please and do you want me to come?” My mother is cute “no, I will be ok. It’s a learning curb” I think I need it.

I sighed out, I have bathed Aziel, put him in his Batman night clothes, he seems content but like I feel I need to speak to him about his behaviour, even if his mother does call I am not telling her right now because she’s dealing with Oakley but still, he’s calm now just watching TV and I’m waiting for Damson to come through. I told him the code so he can just walk through the gate but he is taking forever “Aziel” I said to him “yes” the way he says yes is like I am stressing him out “I want to talk to you baby please, come here” waving him over, he made his way over with his dad hat in hand, I don’t know why he is holding that around, sitting up on the couch while shuffling up on the couch “can we talk?” I asked “ok” he just said “why did you hit anyone? Never mind a vulnerable child, baby that was mean. That boy couldn’t see because of that, why did you get so angry. Teacher said you ran away too, why? Talk to me” he looked at me and I am cooing out, he is so cute, my baby “I’m mad” he admitted “mad, why? What makes you mad, he said sorry about spitting on you, he said he didn’t do it on purpose” he shrugged “I miss my dad he not want to see me” he shook his head “awww what, he does baby. Don’t be silly now” he huffed out “I see mom and dad there” he pointed “that day when mom left” he nodded “oh you did” I didn’t know that, no wonder he had a bad meltdown “and I call but no, so I’m sad. And I get mad but I’m sad now” my bottom lip poked out “Aziel, baby. I promise you, and I am so serious. Baby they love you so much, this journey they are going on is going to make it better for you. I promise” I think Damson is here “don’t be sad” grabbing the hat and placing it on his head “let’s go and see who that is” I said getting up, all I can think about is that is my man, my handsome man. Opening the door wider, and Aziel looked deflated that it’s Damson “I made it!” He said “not my dad” he pulled his hat off “I never said it was” he is so rude “hey, I am taller than him. More handsome than him too. What is your name, you don’t remember me really, but I came with Pizza and” he bought his other hand forward “ice cream. And” he passed me the ice cream “I hid this here in the back” he walked in “I remember rightly, your dad told me that you like cars. And that you like superhero things, so I know you have those switch consoles, and I know you don’t have this game” why did he get him a game “for me!?” He spat, but he is smiling “yeah, it’s Lego car racing, for you. Your dad told me this, he talks a lot about you, but I forgot your name now” Damson is good with kids, maybe I might give him a child “Aziel!” He spat “oh I thought your name was Alan” Aziel giggled “how old are you? This game says five?” He’s totally making me love him “I am five! And I got Batman” my cute nephew “I am jealous, you think I can wear one” Aziel shook his head “you too big” I can’t stop smiling, this is so cute, and I am rethinking this baby thing.

I think Aziel likes Damson, this is cute “how many pizza’s you had over there” Aziel looked at his plate “two” he admitted “oh nah, you had more then that. I saw you taking things from my plate” Aziel giggled “you got them Chinese eyes like your dad” Damson pointed “my dad” he paused “my dad sing” Damson gasped “he sings? For real, what he be singing, something to get jiggy with” I nudged Damson, picking my phone up “yes” Aziel said, he don’t know what he meant by that at all “really, ok you sing me a song, I think I know your dad come on. Sing me something” pressing record, Aziel stood up on the chair “be careful with that” I had to say, “you really trap” Aziel started “yeah, yeah, go on, turn off the autotune, go on boy” Damson bopped along with him “see you really rap!” oh I need to give this man a baby, Damson looked at me “you can buy this remix very soon, DamDam and Aziel. We on this new version” I stopped recording “let me show you something” Damson said getting his phone out “what you showing him? Pictures of me” Damson snorted laughing “you wish but come here” Aziel made his way over “you think I don’t know your dad; I have known that skinny man since day kid” he showed Aziel a picture of them “oh wow, that my dad” my nephew is so adorable “TT look” he snatched Damson phone and came to me “look” I chuckled “aww Aziel, that is your dad. so cute” he is missing him I think.

Rylee fucking promised she would answer, and she is taking forever “TT, not tell mom” Aziel said, I smirked “tell what Aziel? I suggest you lay down right now” I won’t be telling anything at this moment “I peepee first” nodding my head “ok, hurry. Then I can read your book to you” he jumped up off of the bed “love you!” I said smiling, let’s see if he says it back “you more!” he spat, answering Rylee call “bitch” I said “sorry literally just finished a massage, well someone massaged me. Is he awake still” she knows damn well when we would call “he is awake, waiting for you. Will he talk to him? How is he anyways” let me get that in “Oakley is a pain; I mean he is getting there with things but he just refuses to mourn his dad and like I just want to say your dad is a jerk get over it but it is more to do with what he saw, I think he is slowly breaking down. He is self-loathing, but my god Ti this fucking asshole drank from the bar, like I went to the spa came back he was drunk then he was horny this was day one. Now he hasn’t touched it, he hates all that stuff. I just need to let him get it out of his system. He did say why was it me having to see that, it’s always me having to go through shit so yeah, I may have broke him, but he’s just a mess but I think I am getting through” I huffed out “right, well I think your son needs you both but I am just letting you know mom is asking for you and for Oakley” Rylee scoffed “when I have the time” she just replied, but Aziel is back “well hurry up because Aziel is here, you going to tell mommy what a good day you had” I smiled “awww yes” I do love this boy but he can be naughty, the way he just pressed the phone to his ear “hi mom” I would have taken him with me, I couldn’t leave him here.

I closed the door with the biggest smirk on my face “and that’s how put a child to sleep” Damson done fell asleep on me until he did this stupid fake yawn “I’m sorry but he was only happy because of me, he was like nah this auntie of mine is annoyingly crazy” sitting next to him but pushing him as I did, he is so stupid “are you staying over?” He side eyed me “you never said, but I can stay over for a while, until late” kissing his cheek “I will take that, you got popcorn in this place” I shrugged “wait I think she does you know, why do you want popcorn?” He pointed at the TV “I have been here deciding on a movie and you didn’t even notice” that is so cute “babe, does your family actually like me? Don’t lie to me to make me happy either” I pressed my finger into his cheek “I literally have to repeat myself constantly because you don’t believe me, my mom said I should marry you. That’s it, you hear my dad when we told him how we met?” I chuckled “people really have a bad view on Oakley, he called him useless and he only has Rylee going for him” I scoffed “he was joking of course, but just he was up to no good always. But my dad likes you too, we good Ti. But we won’t be good if you don’t get the popcorn. I do think Cench should have Aziel in a school that’s more him, they not going to deal with his bad self” getting up from the couch “that’s their people really, but thank you for coming. You didn’t need to” he winked at me “I wanted too, you know that” he makes me so happy, I am loving life.

[star--nymph]

Hello!

For the Character headcanons prompts, if you're still accepting them…

"concept of home and family" and "talk about your muse’s most prized possession(s)" for Eurydice? :)

OH! Thank you Arja! These are going to be so fun!

"concept of home and family"

Eurydice's conception of family and home differ because for so much of her life, they were separate. I'd argue that she never had a home not because of the Dalish's nomadic ways but because her life was never settled or safe enough. Home to Eurydice spells out to safety, to understanding. To peace and contentedness. When did she have that as a child? Clan Lavellan was her place but they never understood her enough to allow her to feel welcome. I try not to speak of the clan as a whole in an unkind way, but they did ostracize her. Eurydice was an offputting child; strange, distant, at times creepy, and seemingly disobedient. Combined with how much they trusted her parents, Lycus and Ismene, and how they spoke of her being a purposely troublesome child--and Eurydice becomes a glaring issue. If her father says she willingly a problem and if she doesn't listen, does weird things, runs off for days, then why not believe that maybe the child is at fault? I'm not excusing the many members of Clan Lavellan who bought into Lycus and Ismene's stories but I want it understood that for most of them it wasn't malicious. The said story is, child abuse can happen in even the most close knit communities; all it takes is a good story and scapegoat people already don't trust.

That said, Eurydice loves her clan. They can mistrust, dismiss her, even blame her for certain things beyond her control, but it's where she came from. Just...not where she belonged. Not her home.

So what was her home? The many forests? Her little bundle of blankets she shared with her five siblings? Their halla?

She doesn't know.

She doesn't understand home until she's older, when she's out in the world, unattached and then suddenly chained to the Inquisition. Skyhold became her home. Or, maybe it was the ruins within Skyhold--the broken towers, the crumbling underbelly, the cold undercover where she did her work, the cobweb ridden workshop she found in a hole beneath the library. Maybe it was the garden, the rafters in the tavern, a chair in Josie's office, on Vivienne's balcony. Behind a bookcase. Maybe it was Cullen's office. Maybe it was a hand reaching for hers with permission. Golden curly hair in the morning sun. The laughter that sounded like the crackle of the fireplace.

Things that made her want to come back over and over. Nothing has ever made her want to return to things. It's always wandering away, hiding, finding new things, leaving everything behind. Watching from the sidelines. Home is hearing her name and turning to it, and knowing that it is said with understanding.

Family is the same. It's being accepted and valued and not treated like an object. Not just like a pretty thing. People don't take, they ask and they give. They are patient with her questions, they wait out her meltdowns, they welcome her to the circle even when she speaks strange or doesn't act 'right'. Her siblings are family but sometimes they weren't, they couldn't be. Later, when they see her come back changed, they become her family again--but when they weren't her family, she found a new one. She made it herself, with people sometimes as 'wrong' as her and she likes it just fine.

They're a little loud, though. Sometimes she wishes they would speak softer, so she could spend even longer with them. But families aren't perfect, right?

"talk about your muse’s most prized possession(s)"

Eurydice has two prized possessions. One is a knife given to her by one of her younger brothers, Ion. Ion and her had always had a strained relationship. She and her sister Melia raised him and his twin brother Izark since their mother wasn't interested in the child-rearing side of things but he grew up listening to the things people said about her, and would blame her for some of the abuse that went on in the family. I'm not saying it's right but Ion was a young kid, scared of (even if he wouldn't admit it), and it was easier to point to Eurydice has the wrong party like everyone else did than admit that something was wrong. Because maybe if he did, his father would turn his eyes onto him.

And Eurydice did her best to deal with this but kids are messy and she was a teenager dealing with her own autism, becoming a mage/the first, and her own abuse. Eurydice's way of dealing with thing was to shut down and Ion only say that as further confirmation that she just didn't care.

As he got older, however, Ion gradually understood that what he was witnessing wasn't right and Eurydice wasn't the one to blame. Still, he grew frustrated with his distant sister, I think in part because he didn't understand why she just took and wanted her, in some way, to lash out and stand up for herself. Maybe leave for her own safety. Do something. Again, he's seven years younger than her and is a child of abuse himself, so I don't blame him for his defensive thinking. It's not right but it is the truth.

When Eurydice was chosen to go to the conclave, Ion very quickly realized that 1. there's a chance Eurydice won't come back and 2. that no one in the clan seemed to care enough that was leaving in the first place for them. She was going out there on her own and with only a staff. That couldn't do. Ion is a crafter on the side and much like Eurydice, he's a gift giver more than he is a talker. So he craved a dagger for her with the hilt imprinted with images of halla. The day she left, he placed it in her open palm and told her 'if she gets too close, cut their throat with this. Keep it on you at all times, got it'.

Eurydice said nothing. She hooked it onto her belt, nodded her head, and left. That knife never left her person. Even when she could buy or create better, more durable blades, she only uses one. The next time Ion sees her years later, she's still carrying that knife. She tells him that she cut many throats with it, like she said. It's dull now. Can you sharpen it? And he does. He says he should make her a better one but she doesn't want it. That's the best one she has--and maybe Ion smiles a little to himself when she says that.

The other of her prized possessions is, you guessed it, Cullen's lucky coin. I know. Who would have thought? The day he gave it to her, she went to Dagna and had her drill a hole into it for a chain. Eurydice had to have it on her at all times. It must be protected and held close if it's important to Cullen. If it's his comfort object, it's not her. It quickly becomes something she stims with. She often bites, it, runs the coin up and down the chain while she bites, plays with it, and feels it out with her lips. Every time, she thinks of him. When she's about to do a harmful stim like rip out her hair in stress, that's the thing she grabs to steady herself.

If she ever lost it, she would be inconsolable. It doesn't matter if Cullen would forgive her or that, logically, it's just a coin. It was his, he gave it to her, and it needs to be kept safe like he needs to be kept safe.