#cant wait for when this fucker has a name

[growling]

oh wait i forgor. tribe nine beta lol

Zero my angel I'd recognize that voice maybe not anywhere but like in some places

"kuronaka got 10 gold" *EAR BLASTING 9 HOUR LONG FANFARE*

hmmmmmmmmmm.. not saying anything but narrowing my eyes thoughtfully

they're trying to fnaf pizzeria simulator my ass, unfortunately for them I am an incredibly clever smart intelligent wise boy (looked at the art on tweeter)

they put kuronaka in the generic rpg torture dungeons💔💔💔 get well soon

shut the fuck up boyyyy look at the claypot. loook at my claypot boy

jesus stop jumpscaring me if i die my grandma will sue

im calling it now. lady goddess is just zero (and if so: gender win)

$laymate

if it does end up being zero it will be so fucking funny. please. let this manifest. me when i put some random dude in the generic rpg torture dungeons and make him look at claypots forever as form of foreplay also i pretend to be a statue

its that blue hair motherfucker from the promos or whatever

this is so fucking funny im tearing up. im tearing up. also they just implied that i was right. this is so fucking funny. vidio game brainwash yaoi. zero you silly man i desire you carnally

"well its not unusual for this man to do this kind of thing" please tell me more about zero's crimes against humanity .

forgot to mention this earlier but of course the protag has amnesia. not a proper kodaka game without an amnesiac protagonist. this is not a complaint

this is so funny. this is so funny.

redguy yellowguy leave that poor fucker alone. blueguy grayguy why are you just staring tell them to leave that poor fucker alone this is probably not how you approach a dude with amnesia who has been stuck in the generic rpg brainwash torture dungeon for an unspecified period of time

3d time. fuck that boy up guards induce a panic attack in this man

and the torture dungeons were just some random medium sized platform..... help me thats so embarrassing for kuronaka!!

"the village you were saying [sic] were all just drawings on the floor and on the walls!" THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING.... KURONAKA THAT'S SO EMBARASSING......

HE WAS 2 FUCKING YEARS STUCK IN THE GAME LMAOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S SO EMBARASSING FOR HIM

ok. ill stop being mean to him. i promise i will be nice and understanding of his situation from now on. it must be very hard and traumatizing for him.

LMAOOOOOOO HE LOOKS SO FUCKING STUPID THIS IS SO FUNNY. FUCKING IDIOT XDDDDDDDDD

also buy him brown contacts pls

ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fucking look at him this shit looks biblical. look at him descending onto the mortals. this is fucking jesus imagery

nice robot hands. they're not attached yet but i will force him to become a cyborg no matter how many limbs i must detach from his body

i am not ready to hit unpause. but also im yearning.

wait look at his hand pose.... awww look at him i want him carnally

alright alright whatever im unpausing.......

so 24 city is just named like that because it's the 24th city and they ran out of ideas

24 city must be a shit place to live in, a strong breeze knocks you over and you fall one kilometer onto the pavement

"... but who would have thought that there is such a surreal area here, designed just like a video game?" zero. zero would have. that man is all about vidio game addiction i called it once and ill call it again

and he called him "the masked man" i fucking cant i need t. i need to take a breather okay i cant take this anymore

zero lore listen closely now this will be on the test (instead of listening starts imagining zero touching me in a bus and gets so hrard ii passkdf uout )

Kuronaka likes tea. +1 for Kuronaka I love tea

Zero the robot enjoyer

alright, Iroha is gonna return Kuronaka's smartphone next time and I'll end it here :] twas a pleasure. transcending experience

[prodigal-explorer]

so as someone who is only on chapter one of omori and is obsessed with it here are my thoughts as a new member of the fandom

bear in mind that i haven’t finished the game. i only just got to that one creepy forest place? like the one after the spiders? please don’t spoil!!

but spoilers for everything before that below

1) I HATE BASIL. he’s such a stupid little punk. “uwu im so smol and helpless and i always get bullied and i’m so sweet and innocent” I JUST KNOW THAT FUCKER IS HIDING SOMETHING. everytime i end back in that stupid white room it’s because HES DOING SOME SUSSY SHIT. i also just hate him and everything about him and i know for a damn fact that he’s hiding something horrible behind that sweet little smile and he thinks he’s tricking me but he’s NOT I KNOW HIS GAME.

anyway.

2) i literally cannot decide on a favorite character. i have a least favorite, that’s pretty obvious, but when it comes to a favorite im torn. i LOVE omori, aubrey, kel, and hero all the same! i love mari too but i’m a little salty against her because all her hints for the quests are severely unhelpful 😭 but i still love her tho. i just love the main four so so much and i physically cant choose who i like better. poor little aubrey seems so scared and alone when she has the pink hair and she’s so kind in the little space world thing. hero is a sweetheart and i can’t wait to meet him in the colorful world where i’m moving or whatever. and kel is literally so me 😂 it’s not even funny he just does whatever the fuck he wants and that deserves some respect on his name. and omori is a kickass main character who has a cool thing going for him. but these four characters are sooo well crafted and i love how they work together! it’s a great dynamic balance!

3) i’m either a really bad gamer or the game is super long. i finished the prologue in like seven hours. it took SO LONG. i’m not used to indie games taking that long to play considering that i got through all of undertale in like 10-12 hours my first time. it’s awesome! i love finding all the secrets and talking to all the npcs but DAMNNN.

4) this game has so. much. detail. it’s insane. like the sheer amount of mini games and tiny pockets of lore. it’s like higher than undertale level and i don’t mean to keep going back to undertale but i see a lot of similarities in the game style. i also totally got sucked into playing like 30 rounds of blackjack on omoris computer. it was cool af.

5) the fighting mechanics are super hard. maybe i just suck at strategy but i am so bad at the fights that i just run away whenever i have the opportunity 😭 it’s a problem. i also have no clue how the happy sad angry shit works, i just make omori sad so stab has an attack boost and make aubrey angry so headbutt has an attack boost but other than that i don’t really use it at all and i don’t understand it. maybe that’s why it took me literally 10 tries to get past space ex boyfriend? it’s really fun i just think it’s supposed to be easier than it is and i just missed a memo on strategy.

6) i really love the message so far. the way that mental health is portrayed as something that’s a never ending journey. omori doesn’t just breathe and then everything’s okay, the game highlights realistic coping strategies and makes things like depression, anxiety, and phobias to understandable for any audience through a very creative medium: an indie video game. it’s genius. and i just love how it’s been approached so far, it’s very inspiring!

7) i’m terrified that this fandom is gonna make me mad, i swear to god if i just walk in and see a bunch of basil stan’s i’m turning and walking back out 💀 i mean okay maybe i’ll like basil better later but chances for that seem very low right now. my sister told me that apparently he went through some trauma thing? womp womp don’t care he’s an annoying mf who keeps taking me back to that boring white room where i stab myself, he’s a party pooper and i want a tornado to blow his dumb little flower house down.

[ma3mae]

How much do you want to bet that Tecchou has a god damn bug collection and he just shows it off to you proudly😭 "Babe come look it's my favourite beetle boogahooga" I JUST KNOW HE GIVES EITHER THE MOST BASIC NAMES OR LIKE "MEGA BLENDER X300 MAX"

Also I love your writing so much omfg😔🩷🩷

Don't be so antsy!

Summary: It's been a few months since Tetchou declared his love for you and he couldn't be happier, especially after finally showing you his treasured collection! But how will you react?

Genre: FEAR 🤡 because insects... Also cracky and a bit of fluff bc i just love him so much 💕😭 slight suggestive hint at the end 🤓

A/N: FOAMING AT MY MOUTH FROM EXCITEMENT!!!! still cant believe that u love my writing 😭😩fangirling so hard rn, time to print, frame and hang this onto my wall. No one can stop me 😤😤😤

Suehiro Tetchou

You knew about his adoration for bugs even before the both of you got together

It wasnt smth he'd be talking about for HOURS bc its just a topic never really spoken about

all the other hunting dogs know about it but... they wanted to spare u LMAO 😭

like u accompany him to his work place and his colleagues r outside of the dooe, waiting for him so they can leave

u r like waving at them and teruko waves back but yall r just caught off guard when jouno YELLs out of nowhere "MOVE YOUR DUMB ASS ALREADY OVER HERE 💀💀"

Like was he yelling at u??? Yall we dont know who he lookin at bc HOW 😭😭😭😩 srynotsry

But u realised who he meant when u looked behind u and tf 🤨🤨🤨

Tetchou just EMERGES out of a fking bush and 🤨🤨 is that 🤨🤨 a random ass bug in his hand 🤨🤨🤨 he got KIDNAPPED

"But I found this cool grasshopper... His name's Bush."

"DONT GIVE IT A NAME! PUT THAT SHIT BACK ALREADY AND M O V E"

Jouno is just seconds away from beating the shit out of him bc

"WHERE'D HE GET THAT JAR FROM???" "Teruko, that's not important. Make him HURRY UP ALREADY"

"Can we take Leaf with us?"Jouno is already taking his sword out to kill that thing 💀💀

cue a RANDOM ASS FIGHT 💀💀💀

"PUT IT BACK AND LETS MOVE YOU FUCKER" "No, I won't let you hurt Omega 300 GT 5" "Wait I thought his name wa-UGH IDC ILL KILL THAT THING FFS"

tachihara just turns away with "k, think im walking home already BYE"

teruko just yanks him back and the other boys too so that they can finally leave

"Can I take him wit-" "No. I know you like these kinds of things but no. Also if you want that thing to actually LIVE then put it back bc u know who will exterminate the shit out of it." "Hm. 😐"

He just walks up to u and goes "can u take this. please"

U cant say no to his puppy eyes 👁️👁️

You're just so confused but maybe its also cute??? U just thought that its a little interest in him but BOY

It wasnt so little as u thought 🤓 LOL i gotta get my head out of the gutter

*

*

********

Holding hands while going on a stroll was something you'd often find yourself doing during your free time together, especially when the sun was shining so brightly while a fresh spring breeze would occasionally sweep through the air.

Humming a random tune while you lightly swayed your joined hands back and forth.

Tetchou couldn't help but let a soft smile grace his lips at the slightly childish action.

No words could describe how much he enjoyed your leisurely strolls together. It would be seen as a nearly generic thing to do together as a couple but for him it was a time to be treated as sacred. Where else could he tuck your hair behind your ears when the wind would blow through it? Or where else could he see the sunlight make you shine impossibly brighter in his eyes, almost blindingly so?

But what really excited him were the "little" discoveries you'd make on your way.

And oh wait? What's tha-

"Y/N."

Hearing your name made you about to turn your face towards him yet there was no need!

Since your boyfriend forgot how strong he was...

Yanking a bit too hard on your arm made you hit his chest with your back, a small "oof" slipping past your lips.

"OUCH, Tetchou??? What in the-"

"Look."

"Huh?"

You let your gaze follow the direction his outstretched arm, finally stopping at what he was pointing at with his index finger.

To your not so much surprise it was a-

"It's a colony of ants. Look at how hard they're working, Y/N."

Before you could even think of stopping him, he had already moved towards them, crouching down to get a closer look.

You let out a sigh yet couldn't help smiling at his endearing but also random antics.

No matter how many times it would help, it never managed to not be funny. The Hunting Dogs were known for how powerful yet also how "eccentric" the members were, yet witnessing it for the first time and continuing to live with it never failed to bring a smile on your face.

Especially with just how cute your boyfriend looked right now! The way his eyes would twinkle at the mention of insects was something you personally could only understand but never relate to.

As much as you would love to go along and try to enjoy it with him, you kinda wanted to continue on your walk.

Because when he's focused on something then it would be a real nuisance to get him away from it.

But that's not a problem for the love of his life, right?

*

*

*********

Jokes on you, it actually was 💀

Like u got a hunch hes doing it on purpose when he pulls his puppy eyes and that barely but noticeable enough atleast for you pout on u when u said

"I love you, but i kinda wanna yk walk?"

"But Y/N 😟. *points at the ants* only for a minute, please 🥺"

YALL KNOW 😩 YALL KNOOOOW ITS NOT GONNA BE A MINUTE 😔😔😔

Your legs gonna start cramping from watching these fuckers crawl around??? Nah no one CARES 😤😤 jk jk

our cutie tetchouie would NEVER ignore his partners needs okur okur

Like hes already whipped from how we r atleast TRYING to enjoy what hes enjoying

He knows how unlikeable these little crawlers i hate bugs can be but his s/o is trying so hard and he just 🥺🥺🥺 looks at u wirh heart eyes

dw if u cant walk, he'll give u either a piggyback ride yall being cute 😤💕 or the classic bridal style 😩

And dw if he finds another interesting bug but his hands r occupied? Nah, he gon GET THAT ANYWAY

*

*

*********

"ACHOO"

"Bless you."

"Thanks." You told him as you lightly rubbed your nose with the back of your hand. You loved his hair but it would often tickle your nose whenever you'd try to look over his shoulder as he was carrying you on his back.

It was one of the small ways of him apologizing to you and enduring his antics.

His heart would nearly suffocate him from how much it would swell whenever you'd just reassure him that it was totally okay for you. If he loved ants then it's just what he loved and as his partner, you'd be open for everything that makes him happy.

Yet he still tried to keep it down around you so he was often a bit torn between.

"Ah. Wait is that...?"

Oh no.

You knew it.

You knew what was about to happen next.

Before you could stop him, he was already walking off of the path and into the field.

A whine got past your lips yet he seemed too caught up in his fascination of...?

"A horned beetle!"

Some meters above you, sat a beetle on a branch, seemingly undisturbed by the both of you and yet in Tetchou's eyes, it equaled a sacred national treasure.

A treasure that he wanted to get his hands on.

"Hold tight, Y/N."

"WAIT N-!"

Hooking your arm and legs tightly like a koala around his body, he made a leap for it. You didn't know HOW he managed to do it every time but there he was.

Jumping onto the tree and quickly pulling a tiny jar out of a pocket in his blazer (you don't even know how he even hid that...) and-

"I got it!" He exclaimed in happiness as he jumped down, holding his hand onto the open jar. Screwing a lid onto it, he gave it a quick glance before putting it back into his pocket.

Noticing that you were slowly losing your grip on him, he hooked his arms under your legs, hoisting you up again before almost nonchalantly continuing your walk as if he hadn't just jumped up a tree for a beetle...

"Uhm, you don't wanna stare at it or something?" You asked, genuinely surprised yet almost regretting the question since it could change his mind.

"No, I can do that at home. Your legs are hurting after all."

A smile spread onto your lips at his kind words, only spreading further after hearing a slight hitch in his breathing as you let your lips graze his neck before planting a kiss on it.

"Anything for my love, you know? By the way, have you thought of a name yet for your new little friend?"

"I have but-"

You felt him tighten his grip around your legs before he suddenly began to pick up his pace, walking in long and fast strides.

"Want to be home as fast as possible, so we can you know..."

He peeked over his shoulder to see your slightly reddened face before looking forward, strongly focused on one thing.

"continue what you've started."

A small laugh slipped out of him, your nose tickling his neck as you hid your face in it, immediately knowing what he was implying and well...

You weren't complaining.

*

*

********

No one would have expected it but... our boy's pretty easy to rile up 😤😩

yall think he cute and innocent?? Nah nah he wanna get into that shi* too like hes a whipped and legit down bad man for his love rightfully so ✋✋

dw after yall r done, he'll def bring back the topic of "naming his friend/-s" and welp

u better be ready to spend ur weekend on that kinda thing 💀💀💀 and yall gonna settle on the either cutest or most ridiculous shit...

Its either "Groundbreaker 500, The Nightmare of All" or "sugarberry twinkle star" 🤓🤓 if he wants to honor the place he found it (like in the beginning ^), uhhhhhh 🤨

This btch's name is gonna be "leftover bread" or smth bc it was on it when he found that thing💀

yall cant convince me otherwise BYE 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

LOL, this got way too long and i kinda got carried away but that always happens with him 😩😩😩 maybe rushed at the end but i hope u r happy with this @soysaucefu 💅💕💕

[ladylooch]

Don’t be shy, tell us all about how daddy Timo embarrassed himself on the phone. I just know Kevin hears Emma in the background trying to wrestle it away from him 🤣

Don't be shy ☠️

The way I made this so soft in the end 🙈 I CANT HELP IT!!! THEY’RE MY BOYS!!!!!

Kevin is unassuming when he sees Timo’s name pop up on his phone.

“Hey.” Kevin answers, putting the phone on speaker so he can continue to put the groceries away with Sam. He holds her hips to wiggle past her in the pantry, stifling a groan at the way she brushes against him just right. He can’t wait for Lena to head to her friend’s house for the night.

“Hey fucker.”

Both Kevin and Sam pause, looking at each other with questioning eyes. This is new.

“Ah, what’s up?”

“You tell me what’s up. What is this I hear about your kid dating my daughter?” 

Kevin and Sam had talked to Luca a few days ago and he mentioned spending time with Livia Meier while visiting Switzerland for the summer. Kevin thought it was great. The Meiers are close friends. Him and Timo grew up together. Luca finding someone to relate to as a hockey player’s kid and growing up outside of Switzerland seemed like a great fit. 

“I heard the same thing earlier this week.” Kevin confirms. He stops putting things on the shelves.

“This is fucking bullshit, Kev. My daughter deserves better than your scrub of a son.”

“Timo!” Kevin hears Emma’s voice in the background. “Give me the god damn-” Her voice cuts off with the closing of a door. 

“Scrub?” Kevin scoffs, looking at Sam who is still perplexed at what is happening. She holds her hands up, decidedly staying out of it. Her husband’s eyes are beginning to get squinty. She wants no part in this discussion and smartly leaves the pantry.

“He has to be coming from your balls.”

“Dude, what the fuck?” Kevin scoffs.

“You what the fuck! How close does the apple fall to the tree? He like to whip through the rotation every week like daddy? Is Liv the Friday or Thursday girl?” 

“Hey.” Kevin hisses, taking him off speaker. He prays Sam didn’t hear that. “That was one year in Sweden, okay. I’ve come a long way since then. Also, I wasn’t the one who had my dick sucks by the girls tennis team on my way out of town to Canadian Juniors.” Timo is silent on the other end. Ha, Kevin thinks.

“I am fucking serious. Your kid hurts my daughter I’ll end his life.”

“You hurt my kid and I’ll end yours.” Kevin snaps back. Tension races through the silence between the lines. “And he has more Sam in him than me.” Kevin finishes with a heavy sigh. He forces his shoulders back down, trying to relax. Timo contemplates. 

“So he’s a good midwestern boy?”

“Eh, I wouldn’t go that far.” Kevin says honestly, thinking about a certain position he found his son in last year on the couch. Luca is lucky it was him who came home early and not Sam. Kevin never told his wife, but he did immediately have the safe sex talk again.

“Fuck me.” Timo wails. 

“I get it, man. I’ve got two daughters.” 

“Why is this so much harder with her? With Lio it was.. a breeze.”

“Because you remember what it was like being 19.” Kevin’s small smile fills his voice. Timo sighs.

“Yeah. I wanna go back and kick my own ass now.” 

“I can do it for you?”

“No you can’t… pussy.” Kevin laughs, loud and easy. Damn, he’s glad him and Timo are still friends.

“I’ll take you anytime, old man.” 

“You’re older.”

“Yeah but I played longer.”

“Cause you’re a pussy.” Timo can’t even get through the sentence without busting out laughing. 

“Again, you’re welcome in Minnesota anytime, bud.” Kevin opens the door to the pantry, stepping into the kitchen where Sam and Lena are beginning to make chocolate chip cookies. Lena had a good grade on her final test that she was nervous about, so Sam is rewarding her with homemade cookies. Kevin watches them for a moment and thinks about their last conversation with his oldest child. “Look, I know you’re worried, but I wouldn’t be. He’s a good kid and… I think he loves your daughter already. I’ve never seen him like this.” Sam nods her head along to Kevin’s words.

“I’m still gonna scare the shit out of him when he comes over.” Timo insists.

“Good. He could use some practice for dealing with washed up veterans next season.” 

“You’re an ass.” Timo hisses.

“Not as big as you though. I gotta go. See you in a couple weeks for your ass kicking on the course.” 

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP39 SPOILERS!

the time has come. i have felt physically ill anticipating this episode. LETS GO!

- i would first like to inform everyone that i am wearing a black and purple scary inspired outfit and a bracelet that says "doodler" on it as i listen to this episode

- WILLY INTRO. GOD

- class changes would be kinda cool i will admit

- taylors doing music stuff now ooo living up to his namesake. well he def cant make music under his real name lol

- THE HESITANCE ON "WILSON". MATT WHY.

- every fact i hear about grant and marcos parenting makes me die a little more each time

- STRICTLY SHOES ON??? IN THE OAK SWALLOWS GARCIA HOUSE?? oh no wonder that familys so fucked up.

- so what im hearing. is that normal is just wearing heelys at all times

- ITS STARTING. THE DOODLER. THE DOODLERS COMING. IM NOT READY

- ANTHONY THAT IS NOT WHAT THE GRIMACE SHAKE MEME IS IM CRYING

- IM HERE ANTICIPATING THE DOODLER READY TO EXPLODE AND THESE FUCKERS ARE SITTING HERE TALKING ABOUT MCDONALDS CUM 😭

- STOP JOKING ABOUT THE SEASON BEING OVER I DONT WANT IT TO END ANYTIME SOON

- WILLY SAYING "I LOVE YOU" IS THE MOST DISGUSTING SHIT GET THAT AWAYYY

- "hey willy nobodys gonna listen to u anymore" HELLLL YEAH GET HIM SCARY

- NONE OF THEM KNOW WHAT TO DO NOOO

- i love scary too doodler.

- THE DOODLER SAYING "FUCK U WILLY" YIPPEEE

- NORMAL W A BROADWAY PERFORMANCE OKAY learning from hermie i see

- i also dont like it when normal gets hurt lmao

- the doodler is the realest character on the podcast /hj

- SCARYS GONNA ATTACK WILLY!!!!!

- nooo it didnt work... that wouldve been so satisfying

- WILLYS PANTS ARE STILL DOWN I CANT BELIEVE THIS

- THE FACT THAT WILL IS SO LOST ON WHAT TO DO SCARES ME

- NOOOO THE DOODLERS GETTING UPSET FUCK. THE FUCKING ZONE OF TRUTH

- i totally forgot the kiddads were there oops

- OH NOOO WILLYS CALLING FOR HELP

- im so sorry but. when am i gonna hear hermie LMAOO

- OKAY THERE THEY ARE YIPPEE

- OH WOW YEAH HERMIE IS IN THE ZONE OF TRUTH HUH. just like i said i wanted lol. forgot about that

- HERMIE W THE BEST FUCKING ROLL OF THE EPISODE SO FAR LMAO

- NOOOO WILLY HAS CONTROL OVER THE DOODLER NOW

- WILL DECIDING THAT INSTEAD OF NORMAL GIVING A HEARTFELT SPEECH TO THE DOODLER HE JUST VIOLENTLY ATTACKS WILLY. THIS IS DEFINITELY SOME CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

- MATT JUST TOTALLY FUCKED ANTHONY OVER WOW

- WILLY IS NO LONGER SCARYS PATRON. I REPEAT. WILLY IS NO LONGER SCARYS FUCKING PATRON

- OH MY GOD WERE GONNA GET THE DOODLER IN A NEW PHYSICAL FORM. OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING

- this is very upsetting good lord

- OHHHH MY GOD I REALLY HOPE THIS IS SOMETHING COOL IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

- my heart is POUNDING.

- THE SKY IS BLUE AGAIN

- WHOOOOA THEY ALL SEE THE DOODLER AS THEIR OWN INSECURITIES THATS SICK

- LARK DONT U FUCKING DARE

- THE DOODLER IS A SPIDERBOI NOW!!!!

- awww the doodler and the catbus

- NOT ANOTHER COLLAR

- "oh u kind man u" IM SCREAMING

- ANTHONY JUST CALLED LARK NORMALS DAD

- WILL HAVING HIS CHARACTER TALK TO LARK ABOUT HENRY WHAT IF I DIED.

- "dont make me hate u as much as u hate him" OH. MY FUCKING GOD OW

- "oh sparrows also there" I. ANTHONY

- INFINITY WAR BUT ITS GRIMACE INSTEAD OF THANOS IM CRYING

- WILLYS JUST GIVING UP???

- SO IS THE DOODLER JUST GONNA BE A PART OF THEIR PARTY AS THEIR BUDDY. THIS IS SO EXCITING

- THEIR NAME IS DUDE NOW?? OMG

- NEW CHARACTER LETS GOOOO

- MATTS CHARACTER SHAKING HANDS W THE DOODLER. ITS ALL COMING FULL CIRCLE WOWIE

- RON???!?!!?!!

- FUCKIFN RON STAMPLER????

- HES DEAD. RON STAMPLER IS OFFICIALLY DEAD.

- OH IM GONNA CRY THIS IS SO

- WOW. THAT EPISODE WAS SHORT BUT WOW

[pjisskullourful]

I'm so proud of you

🫂⭐

thankyoooou my darling💖

stream of consciousness response cos i have so many feelings& idk if im gonna be able to sleep even though its 1.30am? okcurrrrr

holy fuck. holy fuck. HOLY FUCK!!!

i had some shitty things happen to me pre -pandemic but then being on lockdown i was forced to sit with all of that, accept the label of 'victim'& my mental health got bad. i've always been a homebody& a bit anxious in social situations, but during lockdown i became quite terrified of the outside world. there are occasions when i let my best friend down by pulling out of commitments at the last second cos i never felt good enough, i wanted to hide the fuck away, i felt myself decaying& i thought people would see that& i was SO ashamed& thats when the body dysmorphia got in the drivers seat(the street name of the concert venue was driver, i'll be the driverrrrrr)& it was crippling & took so many things from me

anytime i leave the house is an accomplishment for me now. even if its just to walk down the block to buy a loaf of bread. & going into a situation like a concert, with the overstimulation, the complete lack of control (i am a perfectionist, control freak)(i love structure, i need routines to feel safe & thrive& be happy)- i wasnt sure i could do it. i had a cry last night cos i was feeling so intimidated, i didnt know how to prepare

but i made it out of the house. i dressed myself to the fucking nines with no shame. i took PRIDE in my appearance when usually i just want to be a floating brain so that no one can perceive me in my form. i was serving CUNT, i put my entire pussy into it& i fucking did it

to be in the presence of those four fuckers, im in disbelief. i've been unemployed since a bit before the pandemic, i've had to come to terms with ptsd & the fact that i now have a disability & idk how to just jump into another job. i feel so worthless so often. but here, i dont. i had given up on my dream of making money from my writing. but now i am!(& it started with an ethan commission!!!) & im not worthless& i have accomplishments that i have gained for myself, despite everything else, despite the voice in my head telling me im not good enough, im past my peak, im decaying -- yada yada yada suicidal ideation

a little bit of my dream came true because of those four fuckers. i cried the day honey came out cos i am just so completely grateful for everything being a fan of them has given me

& it started with an ethan commission. & then ethan looked in my eyes& said thank you

i am not worthless, i am not past my peak. i am a motherfucking kool kid

thankyou for every note on every fic(i look at every single notification, they make my heart fucking soar), every kudos, every cent anyone has sent my way. tonight was a celebration of all of that& i could be present& happy& in it. no darkness could touch me, especially not while ethan was looking at me

he is as fucking flawless in person(they all are). i got to stand so close& stare at that fucking body(cos he wonderfully took his shirt off after interval)& i love him& i'll most likely love him forever, thats my baby daddy ❣️ my mum is gonna be so proud. i wish i could wake her up with a phone call. ethan is her fav& i cant wait to tell her i had an interaction with him

i sat in the gutter& went from loudly laughing(ala gaga in aura) to sobbing loudly. my world has been rocked

for some people a concert is just a concert but this is a GIGANTIC deal for me. middle finger to my anxiety. middle finger to my body dysmorphia. this is such an accomplishment. i am grateful for every fucking second, grateful to myself cos i fucking DID IT!

& this is the second time this year that i've seen a eurovision winner perform their winning song(cos my girl conchita back at the start of the year). & that is dopee as fuck!!!

my therapist is gonna be so proud 🥲

can i get a HELL YEAH for vallium? ily forever bby

tldr-- im proud of me too babyyyyyy

[johnwickb1tsch]

The Night Nurse - Ch 4

A John Wick x Helen Fic

When nurse Helen Morgan is caught in the crossfire of a shootout and aids the injured John Wick, she’s faced with two options: serve the High Table, or be executed as a Witness. She tells herself her choice to work at the Continental has everything to do with survival, and excellent pay, and *not* her growing feelings for the Tall, Dark, and Handsome Assassin™ who got her into this mess in the first place, thank you very much. │ Masterlist / Chapter Map │

IV.

He found Helen sitting in one of the comfy chairs, her elbows on her knees, and her chin cradled in her hands. She stared out at nothing; John knew she wasn’t really seeing the room. She was, most likely, seeing the outcome of what she’d just narrowly escaped. The thought made his blood boil. The temptation to march down to Mikhail’s room and waste the little fucker was real.

Making no sudden movements, he knelt beside her, careful not to touch her. “Are you hurt?”

She shook her head. “No. I’m pissed off.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. This was no smiling matter—but even now, her ferocity delighted him.

“I’m sor—”

“Don’t. You haven’t done anything wrong. You saved me, again. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She shook her head, clenching her fist against her mouth. He could see she was shaking. With fear, or anger, he really wasn’t sure. Both, perhaps, after what had happened. Most women would have broke down crying after such a scare. It was a completely valid reaction, but this woman…she got mad, and he didn’t know why that titillated him so.

He was hopeless.

“Just goes to prove no matter where you go, it’s never enough to be a woman just trying to do your job well. There’s always some asshole who wants to...”

She couldn’t bring herself to voice the rest. She didn’t have to.

John knew his expression reflected his murderous thoughts. “I promise, I won’t let them touch you. We will talk to Winston in the morning.”

“And what happens when I leave the Continental grounds?” she asked. “Are they going to be waiting for me, just to prove a point? I know men like that shit Mikhail. He’s like a child who can’t tolerate being told no.”

She was right, of course. She’d taken the exact measure of the Medvedev Bratva prince.

“God,” she sighed, sitting back in the chair. “This is just like the hospital. There was this asshole doctor…” She shook her head, gritting her teeth against some unpleasant memory. “Never mind.”

“Give me a name.”

“You can’t kill him, John.”

“Oh, I bet I could.”

“It wasn’t as bad as this. Forget it.”

“I won’t, but we can drop it, for now.”

He would be looking into the doctors she’d worked with in the past, but for now, they had a more immediate problem.

“Helen, do you know any self-defense?”

“I know some basics. Instep, eyes, throat, groin.” She punctuated her list with exaggerated karate chopping motions that he found highly adorable. “But there’s no way I could ever fight anyone like those two fucking guys. What do they weigh? Five hundred pounds in pure muscle?”

Though she mostly spoke without an accent, in moments like this John could hear Ireland via Boston in the cadence of her words. It was hopelessly endearing.

“I can teach you some things that would help you, even against them.”

She canted her head to look at him, and he could tell she was interested. “I believe you. Those guys looked like they might piss themselves when you walked out. Ok. That would be handy, I guess.”

“Are you…averse to learning how to use a gun?”

“I know how to use a gun.”

She really was perfect, he thought to himself. Absolutely fucking perfect.

“Do you carry?”

She shook her head. “My dad taught me how to use his Smith and Wesson .38. It was a lifetime ago. I don’t know about carrying a gun…I feel like I might be as likely to hurt myself or a bystander.”

“You just have to practice, and be careful. They don’t go off randomly. They really don’t.”

Her next sigh went on seemingly for hours.

Then, she laughed, scrubbing her face with her hands. “I don’t get it. What would that ridiculous young man even want with me? I am a mature woman pushing the far side of thirty.”

John bit the inside of his lip, warring with himself against stating the obvious, without sounding creepy. What was the most politic way of pointing out that she was fucking hot, age be damned? And, like so many in the cruel, male-dominated world of organized crime, Mikhail probably had his share of mommy issues.

Finally, he settled for, “I can’t fault his taste.”

She paused, clearly torn by his words. For not just hours ago, he had for all practical purposes, rejected her. 

He knew he was sending mixed signals. He didn't know how not to. She drew him like a moth to a flame. 

“When is your next day off?” 

“Tomorrow. Well. Today, I guess. I get off at 7am.”

“Alright. Then this is what I propose. You get some sleep. In the morning, we will talk to Winston. I want him to give you a panic button or something. Your phone was practically useless in that situation.” 

“Would he do that?”

“I don’t see why not. Maybe we live by the laws of the jungle out there, but in here, it’s the laws of the High Table. Doc doesn't have to deal with this shit. You shouldn't either.”

She nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. “Okay.”

“Then…” He looked up at her through his hair, and the sight grabbed her heart with a fist, squeezing painfully. This man. This fucking man, and his soulful looks, and his fathomless dark eyes. Seeing him on his knees before her did things to her insides, and she didn’t think there would ever come a time when he didn’t move her. She’d been hooked from the moment she set eyes on him. He would have this hold on her…probably until the day she died. He probably didn’t even know it either, she mused. He was very confident in his abilities to do his job. The rest…seemed a little shaky for him.

Then, anything you want, she thought to herself, though she at least had the self-respect not to say it aloud.

“Then, I want to teach you some things. Self-defense things,” he quickly added, as though he knew where her treacherous, exasperatingly hopeful, thoughts might lead.

So goddamn honorable.  

“Okay. Sure. Where?”

“My place?”

This intrigued her. She realized she never thought about John living somewhere else. When he wasn’t working, it seemed like he was always here at the Continental. Little did she know how much she had to do with that.

“I’m fine with that. Where do you live?” She imagined an apartment high above Manhattan.

“Over in Jersey.”

“Seriously?” She wasn’t sure why this amused her.

By the way he canted his head, he wasn’t either.

“Yeah. It’s set back in the woods. Private. It’s…quiet.”

She realized then that he was inviting her into his sanctuary. The place he went to get away from the city, and probably from the rigors of work too. She tried to put a cork in it, but that pesky warmth spread out from her heart to her bones.

“Sounds nice.”

“Yeah.” He seemed to struggle with something for a few moments before adding, “I’ll cook for you. Do you like steak?”

Almost as though she was afraid of spooking The Boogeyman, as silly as that seemed, she nodded slowly. “I love steak.”

“Great. After I’m done training you, I’ll owe you dinner.”

Helen raised an eyebrow at that ominous statement. Maybe this wasn’t so much a date after all. What had she gotten herself into? She’d been asking herself that a lot lately. And except for her little misadventure with Mikhail, so far, she could say this was the most interesting her life had been…ever.

“You don’t owe me anything, John. But I appreciate you looking out for me. Thanks.”

She reached out to him, and without thinking he took her hand in his, squeezing her fingers between his own. He knew she was tough, but her slender fingers seemed so delicate in his calloused hand. So breakable. His thoughts strayed to Mikhail, the fucker, and what John had barely managed to head off in the hallway. She deserved so much better than that. She deserved better than him, better than all of this. Without thinking, he pressed his lips to her knuckles.

When Mikhail had kissed her hand it had been unsettling. A power play that left her with worms squirming in her guts. But John’s mouth on her hand sent a frisson of longing through her veins. He was so goddamn sincere. Please stop making me want you, she pleaded. Stop making me want you, if I can’t have you.

“You should get some rest,” he said, releasing her albeit reluctantly as he stood.  

“I feel bad, hiding in your room. My phone might go off if I’m needed, I'll wake you up.” 

“If you have to go treat someone, I'll go with you.”

“John...”

“I insist.”

He looked down with his hands in his pockets and those serious dark eyes boring into her, a look that brooked no argument. It wasn’t just the sight of him in his half-buttoned black shirt, a pale triangle of toned chest peeking through. It wasn’t those polished onyx eyes, or the high cheekbones that fashion models would have killed for. She just couldn’t remember the last time someone had cared so much about what happened to her. Someone who was an actual adult, who could influence the outcome of things in some way. It was a heady feeling, to say the least.

Why did he have to be so breathtaking?

She sighed.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“Something terrible, I assume.” The corner of his mouth ticked. Rolling her eyes, she stood from the chair, smacking his arm lightly. Out the corner of her eye, she noticed his smile widen. It warmed her heart.

Not so long ago, Winston had offered a coy observation, that John Wick was smiling more often these days. She hoped it was true.

As she kicked off her shoes she asked, “Is all this going to make a problem for you, John?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“You don’t do work for the Medvedevs?”

“I contract with the Tarasov Bratva.” Essentially, he’d been sold to them by the Ruska Roma, when he was a fire-eyed young man becoming too difficult to control. The Director never admitted it, of course, but she’d decided to cut her losses before Jardani Jovanovich became a problem the Tarkovsky Theater couldn’t handle. He’d moved up the ranks since then, proving his worth in blood spilt. He couldn’t say he felt any true loyalty to the Tarasovs, but there was a code of respect that he did his best to follow. He wouldn’t stab Viggo in the back—unless the money was good enough.

That was the truest rule of their world.

“And how do the Tarasovs and Medvedevs get along?”

“Oh, they hate each other. Quietly, though. War is bad for business.”

Viggo had made his first fortune in the eighties running a gasoline racket that made him millions, though those days were long gone. Now he focused mostly on guns, gambling, and stolen cars. The Medvedevs seemed more inclined towards pleasures of the flesh, running clubs, drugs, and the inevitably associated skin trade of Eastern Bloc girls. Though misogyny ran rampant all across their world, it was little mystery why Mikhail viewed women the way he did.

Biting her lip, Helen nodded. John could practically hear the wheels in her frighteningly quick brain turning.

“This isn’t going to start a war, Helen. Surely not even Mikhail Ivanovich could be that stupid.”

Even as he said it, John wasn’t sure if he believed it. Like her namesake, at least to John, Helen was a woman worth going to war for. If the boy felt the same…there would be blood.

He didn’t need to scare her with that kind of speculation though. He kept his mouth shut.

When Helen noticed John preparing to lay out on the couch she sighed. “John…I’m not kicking you out of your bed.”

“I can sleep anywhere. Really.” Growing up in a Belarussian orphanage certainly made him appreciate a soft place to lay down, but the talent for being able to sleep on less than ideal surfaces had never left him. “You’ve had a night. Take the bed.”

She appreciated that he was sensitive to the possibility that she might not want to share a bed with a man, after what had nearly just happened to her. Was it insane, that it made her want him beside her all the more?

“I feel safe, with you.” For the momentarily pained expression that slipped before he schooled his features, she wasn’t sure she should have admitted that aloud. They had shared a bed that very first night in the Continental, talking until dawn about the High Table and the Underworld, and drifting off holding hands. It had been impossibly sweet, considering.

John had lost his heart to her that night. Heart and soul, falling so deeply in adoration that he knew he would never recover. It was the very reason he knew he couldn’t have her.

It could only end badly, for her, and he owed her better than that.

And yet, that devil on his shoulder whispered. And yet, maybe he hadn’t outright claimed her as his, but Igor and Alexei certainly planned to tell their boss that John Wick had made a prior claim. It was the only way they could stay out of trouble for failing to do the little bastard’s bidding. The gossip would spread like wildfire from there.

It was possible it was too late.

And if that was true…what did they have to lose?

Everything, still. Absolutely everything. Maybe if they could head off Mikhail’s bullshit, nip it in the bud, they could return to a state of normal. A state of safety, for Helen.

Dating him would not equal that, by a long shot.

“John?”

He realized he’d been standing there silently for nearly a minute, just looking at her. He was a man with iron self-control. It was the reason he was so good at what he did. Impulses were for lesser men. Impulses were what he preyed on when he hunted. But this woman…this woman. His will crumbled to dust in the face of those bright brown eyes looking upon him with longing for comfort.

“You’re sure?”

“So sure.”

She offered him a gentle smile, and it took everything not to fall to her feet and weep, or grab her up and kiss her, count her teeth and mark her skin with the fury of his desire, devour her with his lips until she forgot her own name, only that she was His.  

A weary groan escaped him as he lay down beside her.

It was not because his body hurt.

With the lights turned low, laying on her side facing him, she asked in a hushed tone, “John, why did you call Mikhail the bear cub?”

“Medvedev is a derivative of bear. Medved. They use it as their…sigil, I guess you could say. It’s supposed to strike fear in the hearts of their enemies.”

She didn’t miss the wry notes of mockery in the last sentence.

“Hmm. So John Wick isn’t afraid of bears. What’s your sigil then?”

He thought for a moment. Maybe others called him the Baba Yaga, but it wasn’t something he himself embraced. He didn’t really belong to the Tarasov clan. He didn’t claim the Ruska Romas either anymore, glad to be free of their cruelty, even if they made him into the man he was today. He was an orphan, a man alone. Until meeting Helen, he’d preferred it that way. “I don’t have one.”

He felt her reach out in the dark, her hand finding his, like it had that first night when he’d been shot and stabbed and she’d put all his pieces back together again. “We’ll just have to think about that.”

John snorted softly. He found it all rather silly, but if it meant something to her he wouldn’t shoot it down.

“What about you?”

She laughed quietly. She sounded sleepy, and soft, and he wanted to kiss her so badly.  “Maybe…a daisy. It’s my favorite flower.”

He felt himself smiling, more widely than he would have dared had the lights been on.

“Perfect.”

Not long after that he felt her relax, her breathing deepening as she fell into sleep. He remained vigil, listening to the sounds of the building, of the city, ready should something come. The world was changing; the old rules didn’t seem to mean what they once had. Was he becoming a bitter old man, griping about the youth of today and their lack of respect for the traditional ways?

There were things the new generation simply did not understand, born into their lives of luxury in this prosperous, oh so naïve country. They knew not what it was to see your breath in the cold inside your house, or to feel the grueling pain of your body eating itself out of hunger.

To have nothing, unless you took it with your own two hands.

That was what borne the Theives in Law of the old Soviet Union. It was a rebellion in a way, against Communism, and the corruption of the State. The Party took everything; the only way to have something for yourself was to steal it back. John understood this, had tasted that desperation as an orphan in one of the numerous institutions in Belarus, before the Ruska Roma took him in to mold for their own ends.

It was not their fault, really, that the next generation did not know the fear of the winter wolves howling just outside the door. Their fathers had bought comfort for their children with their blood and sweat and tears. It was what any parent wanted for their children; an easier life. A better life.

The American Dream—if only on the surface.

Yet rather than simply enjoy this bounty, live an easy life, go into legitimate business, they had to strut around, striving to prove their toughness and bravery, like cruelty was a badge to be worn like a designer insignia on one’s jacket. This was the thing John did not understand, and felt only contempt for when the young ones demanded the respect they had not themselves earned. They had not been forged in the old fires of the USSR, tempered by the constant hardships of life in the Soviet Union. One good hit, and they would crack like cheap steel.

Maybe John didn’t particularly want to start a war with Ivan Medvedev, but he would not hesitate to put Mikhail Ivanovich in his place, if the boy pushed any farther.

As he’d simultaneously hoped and feared, Helen shifted in her sleep, scooting closer into the shelter of his body. He did not have the strength to turn away, opening his arms to cradle her against him.

This soft miracle was a thing he did not take for granted. Pride was a fickle thing. Power too, was only fleeting. But this? A woman who truly saw you, and who still felt safe enough to grace you with the gift of her sleeping body in your arms?

This was worth burning a city down for.

<<Chapter 3 Chapter 5>>

[fangirleaconmigo]

As I watched Blood Origin I took notes. They are silly and disjointed bullet points and here they are:

(My full review is HERE)

Ep One

Shit, that's intense. My bard is having a bad time.

Hi Minnie Driver!

Wait. Why would Geralt hate that? (were they saying he'd hate an elf being the first witcher? V confused. Why would he hate that?)

So Fjall was too slutty to be a bodyguard.

Glad pretty girl didn’t get punished for helping the little girl.

Hmmm the princess doesn’t want to just be a baby factory. Word. I get it.

Michelle Yeoh!!!!

Wow the princess really flat out murdered her brother.

Girl, you don’t get a nation when you kill their king it’s not that simple.

MICHELLE YEOH I hope we get to see more of that.

Ep 2

Is she talking to her hammer? I love her already.

Fjall and Éile are they tied by destiny? How?

I juuuuuuuuust realized that sellswords don’t sell swords in the literal sense. I don't know why I thought that. This is all making a lot more sense.

I like the failed romance in the beginning. Hey folks, even if you fall in love with a brother murdering evil chick, life goes on. Second chances, etc. etc.

If they kill off Scían this fast I’m gonna be annoyed

Oh Hi Avallac'h. Avallac'h is like ummmmmm I’m regretting this shit (he is just a babby)

Merwyn is determined to survive, I like that. I like that in my evil women.

Eredin has a knife to a hotties throat saying 'you fucked me'(gaygayhomosexualgay?)

Oooooohhhhh

Actual real gay

Nice

Yes. Welcome to the family Eredin.

Brother Death called Fjall Square jaw-all the flirting! (Fjall is very flirt-withable imo)

Holy fuck Éile burning folks. That's hardcore, girl. Good thing that you ran away.

Winterberry and lilac CREEPY but revenge cool. Also, LILAC AND GOOSEBERRIES

Uh oh is Balor giving her those kids. That's rude.

I assume true sacrifice comes from within means Balor has to kill someone he cares about. If I was that girl with him I'd be pretty worried right now.

Eredin done in by the most obvious “spy” who literally ran right into him. He’s dickmatized or something. Himbo?

DONT TOUCH EILE YOU FUCKERS

Ep 3

Yesss love Meldof YET AGAIN

Poison a sheep and feed it to it, yes reference to the books.

Wow, girl (Zacare I looked it up) is throwing that “not really family” in his (Syndril, I looked it up) face fast ain't she. Found family gets lost fast when shit gets real.

Solryth? Is this empress chick talking to the brother she killed??? Girl? Do you think he wants to hear from your ass??? He's in the great beyond cursing your name.

Awww Fjall being protective

Even if you fell into a bucket of tits you’d come up holding a cock (is Meldof calling him gay?)

Ooooo no secret entrance?!?! Damn you Fjall. Just full of piss and vinegar barreling forward with nothing but guts and good cleavage.

Awwwww I love that the mage sees him as he is.

Éile sings

Such pretty voice Fjall is down bad.

As he should be, as am I.

Girl, he is not gonna let you be the first witcher. Not after you sang that. Please be real.

I love an 'end of the world about to die shag and party' episode.

We gettin a witcher, folks.

Ugh I hope Scían doesn’t betray them. I think she’s just getting them a way in tho.

Empress really thinks she’s gonna hit it again with Fjall? THIS CHICK. LMAOOOO She just has no concept of her actions having consequences does she.

She looks hella cool in her fancy armor tho.

She’s actually quite good at this. Making deals. Knowing what people want and offering it to them.

Yeah he’s gonna kill Fenrik I knew that from when he killed the kids

Ep 4

Avalac'h is a sad lil loser boy pobrecito

Eredin thinks he won’t risk Fenrik? You a dummy hunny

I woulda given Avallac'h more time rather than run back to Balor. I mean he's just a babby, he's gonna be badass folks.

Oh no he's hulking out. Look out empress girl.

“You’re a monster”

UH OH BETA RUN GRL BETTA RUN he kills those things now.

Why are his eyes black? Potions make eyes black?

OH YOU DUMMIES YOU THINK SCÍAN CANT TAKE TWO OF YOU?? FOOLS

Damn, lark. Éile really broke down the difference between a feminist and a girlboss to Miss Empress then stuck her. That was a clever way around making her badass but not 100% a murderer.

Balor killed that soldier for zero reason. This is just not a good person.

WOOPS HULK BOY Sun's gettin real low.

Wow Éile is pregnant? I thought that witchers were sterile. Maybe that's a thing the mages did.

I already knew Ciri was her descendant because people on twitter were shitting their pants because the actress is Black. I mean, don't they know how genes work? You can get a blondie in that span of time? Its centuries? And her child's already gonna be half Fjall, so idk, people cannot be normal about Black women I cannot fathom it.

And there's Mr. Joey again, we always love to see him.

The end. That was fun. Might watch again.

[favesgrave]

tell me everything about your tf fic and continuity i am sitting here rubbing my hands waiting

literally anything. what do you like most about it. what excites you. go off king

omg ripoff mtmte/ll polaris adventure time!!!

so polaris is a ship. that's only the placeholder name for it, i'm still trying to find one i REAAALLY like

near the end of the war, there was this really intense battle at the spacebridge and the allspark was at the center of it. the autobots were trying to get it away from the decepticons and jetfire was carrying it, ready to fly through the spacebridge right when a poorly aimed shot hits the bridge instead of him right when he enters and then the whole thing explodes. jetfire's life signal goes offline, the signature of the allspark is lost. this event was what finally caused megatron and optimus to declare the war over. their planet had suffered enough and without the allspark, things would only grow worse if they continued fighting.

things are pretty rocky after that. even with both leaders agreeing to end things, peace can be hard to achieve after fighting for so long. people are even more discouraged without the allspark. except for some, like nightbeat. he doesn't understand how something so powerful can just be destroyed so quickly. he starts doing some research, gets some help from his scientist friend proxima, then does more of his own stuff before reaching a breakthrough. he's able to discover energy signals that are a near-perfect match for the allspark with only some slight deviations. regardless, something like that can't be ignored. if there's a chance the allspark can be recovered, they have to take it!! he tells his buddies proxima and hardhead first (i made nightbeat and hardhead friends because hardhead shot him that one time in idw and i thought it'd be funny)

then they tell optimus and he tells megatron. after that, a mission gets created. nightbeat gets to captain a ship that will set off to retrieve all these allspark fragments. the catch is that autobots and decepticons are free to volunteer for the mission. if they cant work together on something as important as this then geez guys We Really Are Fucked™

characters on board this ship are: nightbeat, hound, chromia, hardhead, blurr, proxima, first aid, pipes, honk (they're actually a stowaway), punch/counterpunch, shadelock, dead end, browning, squawktalk, acceleron, and javelin. there would probably be more but also they like. wouldn't be that important.

they'd try to quantum jump to the first allspark fragment and discover that it doesn't work. they try again. and again. and then a fourth time just for extra measure, each time with a different fragment location. something's preventing them from getting there immediately. nightbeat gets excited because that means the allspark has some kind of defense system. how far does this go?? is it sentient? can it do more in its broken state??? there's so much to discover!!! then he realizes "wait this isn't exactly a good thing. this might take a lot longer than i thought"

since velocitron's close by, they stop by there to refuel real quick. velocitron was lucky enough to never be affected by the war. they closed down their spacebridge and basically went "bye fuckers" for millions of years and did their own thing. so when their regular scheduled programming gets interrupted by these bots and cons who are distrustful of each other they're like "wowzers you guys look like you got hit by an asteroid"

they're pretty quick about their business there and are well on their way when chromia discovers honk hiding. naturally she sees this little guy and is like "??? who the fuck are you???" but they're allowed to stay. they become besties with pipes and get adopted by blurr and hardhead. it's great

okay but back to more of the plot. airachnid is a main antag in the story. she has vehicons and various decepticons under her command. you see, a lot of decepticons eventually split off and did their own thing. she was one of them. she comes into possession of an allspark fragment. having just one grants her a ton of benefits and as a collector, she thinks it'd be fun to get ALL of them. i've been thinking about introducing soundblaster too. he overhears some radio chatter about the whole thing and wants in. he's also got his own faction and outpost

it's a race for the allspark shards complete with bonding and side quests and terror and even some possible character death!!! it's a very fun ride

[who-is-shades]

raz mini dnd 21

uh we had a non canon session for fun wont post it here but were having a little canon one here for talking. coffee shop au but freddy kruegar.

teya is using her sending stone. senna is looking after that dude in the woods. wheatley is just hugging parsley.

the guy senna set down just curls up. she asks what his name is. Daniel. she introduces herself and asks if he came from that village. yep. she says they managed to save some people, but they probably left because the houses got smashed. he gets up and stumbles toward his home. she heads back to the others.

android goes to zen and needs to speak to him privately its important. off into the forest they go. senna goes to comfort wheatley. parsley is like 'help am i doing this right?' she gives him a thumbs up and pats wheatleys back. parsley grips wheatley a bit tighter when he makes a sad noise awww.

teya looks displeased. shadow on the ground. powerful energy from the outpost. 'guess were doing this again.' senna and parsley are ready to kick ass, parsley guarding wheatley. its just spingledorf dammit. 'dorf you scared the shit outta us!' parsley sighs and sits back down.

dorf looks older, why? hes been messing with that relic thats why he looks older. learning secrets and stuff. attack on the timeline. 'why are you here?' outposts on various roads and hes been taking them out and collecting the bad energy. senna points out the gruesome shed. he claims it doesnt control robots, its corrupted. parsley tells him to fuck off. yes dorf its fresh in our minds. please just explain with words.

senna offers to walk away with dorf so no one else gets hurt. teya follows. senna tells parsley to watch wheatley, who is aiming his gun at dorf lol. 'try not to die.' 'no promises.'

he pulls out the orb and flexes the energy. wants to teach teya hmm. dorf opens the ball a little and pulls out some energy and its floating between his hands. passes it to teya. focus teya! the magic is corrupting and makes you feel sick. focus even more! she cant quiet get it so he helps. she feels fire, heat energy. an intense flame. try to seperate the energies. success! to senna it looks like bright fire is seperating from it, hard heat.

teya opens her eyes and the dark energy is much weaker and in its place is the intense energy. dorf destroys the bad energy. no idea what the energy is. primordial flame?! the corruption is using it. its the foundation of all fire magic. lightning, magma, ect. something even deeper?! senna to herself mutters prometheus's warning.

dorf squeezes it and he blows out the fire. primordial energy. the basis of everything. the world. all things. 'you are literally holding god in your hand' its way more powerful. just a sliver but immense. wait how did zorbolt get this?! he has some theories. the core of the planet has the purest energies. HE PUTS IT IN HIS MOUTH! SPIT THAT OUT! stop laughing you fucker. stop saying it tingles.

he fucking ate it why. his magic is stronger. he thought he was gonna die oh no. hes gonna give teya some if he gets more lol. hes gotta stick around so teya can take notes. time to head back. spingledorf is glowing lol. wheatley looks scared. senna says theyll talk about it later. teya spills the beans though. they dont know what that is lol.

wheatley is patting dorf concerned. zen and android are back. senna says dorf is out of his goddamn mind eating goddamn primordial magic. teya is just rapidly taking notes. oh no he has more. wheatley thinks hes gonna go mad with power, and teya wants to watch. senna has also taken out her notebook and written something lol.

parsley says they gotta babysit dorf for a while. 'well he might explode.' thanks senna. wheatley says he doesnt like dorf aww. parsley laughed the bastard. dorf says he doesnt wanna cause us trouble. senna asks for us to get tf out of here now.

teya asks dorf to cast something oh no. parsley walks away with wheatley asap. firebolt! oh its massive and powerful. a column of fire shoots into the sky. senna is having a grand time. dorf is losing his glow a little when he does that. extra reserve magic? senna quietly says they have a problem. if zorbolt gets ahold of this and uncorrupts it itll be a problem. where did he get it? using it to power some sort of corrupting force. what IS the corrupting force? no idea but its bad and...familiar.

lightbulb moment? similiar to when zen gets taken over by god. wheatley remembers it felt like a wrong hivemind. senna is deep in thought. wheatley tells zen to let god know. dont worry he knows lol. get his attention just in case lol. senna is chewing on her finger deep in thought. 'you ok senna?' 'i...need to...think.' now their talking about humans exploding and stuff.

senna privately messages teya an...idea. dorf fucking summons a bunch of doors. a palace instead of a mansion. he was just curious to see if it amplified. hope his stuff wont get wrecked lol. he magic missles a tree and they look like big shooting stars. say by to the tree.

stopping here lol

[winderlylandchime]

And we are officially at 3x12: ‘come on Brian, don’t act like you don’t care about the backroom being closed. You said it yourself: you love public fucking’ ‘Damn, maybe Michael is actually gonna be cool if Hunter sticks around. I can’t believe they are actually keeping him like a stray cat. *looks at me all fake seriously* this is a good time to tell you, mom and dad also found you outside like that.’ ‘Im gonna need them to leave Emmett alone! Everyone leave him the fuck alone! I feel so bad for him- mel can you stop acting like Emmett is on a trial?’ HUNTER IS ABOUT TO MEET BRIAN!!!! ‘HE DOES EXIST BITCH! BRIAN FUCKING KINNEY! What did I say?! Everyone has a crush on Brian! Okay, i like Hunter now.’ ‘TED YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! I feel so horrible for you but i am willing to put my feelings aside to rip your head off! Emmett deserves happiness not this shit’ ‘damn Ben can’t catch a break. His man AND his stray kid both being obsessed with Brian. No wonder he’s boring. SHIT HE KNOWS THE DEAD KID! OF COURSE A FUCKING COP DID IT. Why am i acting surprised? Carl, i had some faith in you, please dont fuck this up fully’ and now the infamous Deb at Brians party scene ‘DEBBIE IS BACK AT BRIANS! COME ON BEST FRIENDS! *pauses tv and looks at me* is this what I look like to you when I’m watching this show? Wait. Is this what i looked like when i asked (our uncles name) how gay sex works? Oh my god, I am Debbie at a gay orgy! Wait, is she expecting Brian to save the day with this cop killer thing? So the theme of the show is: blame Brian, use him for help and money and be mean to brian, got it’ ‘he told Justin about the dead kid picking up a cop? Yeah Brian is officially caring about it because no way is he gonna ignore just- oh Teddy, this is heartbreaking. Emmett baby, you’re above this. I get it but fucking hell you deserve better. Who the fuck does Mel think she is to just call Emmett that?! OH SHIT EMMETT CALLED HER A CUNT! GOOD FOR HIM! Thank you emmett. I know it’s bad to be happy about this but she is very rude sometimes. Im still angry for how she treated Brian about that life insurance or whatever.’ BRIAN AND HUNTER SCENE IS UP!!! ‘Hunter go hom- peanut car! BRIAN! Now this duo is something i can fuck with. So hunter and Brian. Or Jen and Brian. Or Daphne and Brian..so basically everyone except Mike.’ And the bar scene is up ‘this is the most depressing bar ever no wonder its a cop bar- are they trying to find the cop- HEY HE HAS A BOYFRIEND! SO HANDS OFF!(hunter offers to pay Brian) everyone is willing to pay him. Hunter. Justin. At this point, give me 4 more days and I’ll pay him too. BRIAN BE CAREFUL WITH THE COP, why are you asking so many questions? Who do you think you are? Oprah? He has no business looking this pretty while horribly interrogating a murderer.‘ And now the sad Ted and Emmett scene is up ‘NO TED! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HIM? EMMETT GET OUT. LEAVE. DONT LET HIM DRAG YOU DOWN TOO. EMMETT HE NOT ONLY WANTS TO DO DRUGS HES ALSO TELLING YOU HE CHEATED! Emmett nooooooooo’ and the best part of the ep is up: Britin hustler scene!!! ‘Oh damn Blondie, look at you looking fine as fuck! Absolutely no dying young will be happening on my watch Brian! *waves his hand towards Justin* yeah, whatever he just said. Too big words for me right now. Do they have matching jackets or is he wearing Brians clothes? Brian really cant escape teenagers who have a crush on him. *said at the same time as justin* EXCUSE ME? He’s the boyfriend! See hunter, the reason Brian laughed is because Justin has owned his ass for the past 3 years! Blondie…you’re 19. And you were a stalker stealing credit cards at 17. That is considered an annoying teen’ ‘NOO HUNTER DON’T GO WITH HIM! FUCKING HELL THIS SHIT BETTER NOT GET HIM KILLED. I actually got attached to the little fucker’ And to end this on a good note, he went out to call his friend to tell him about the episodes and a cat scared the shit out of him and now he’s afraid to leave the house. At 36. I have a 5 year old child that I’m babysitting, who has a crush on Gale.

I’m snorting about him telling you your parents found you like that. That’s some peak sibling behavior.

He likes Hunter because of his crush on Brian? So relatable. I’m so excited he’s at this part.

So the theme of the show is: blame Brian, use him for help and money, and be mean to Brian. What’s that meme that’s like “you did it, you broke qaf down to its bare essentials? That’s this.

Emmett is so lovely during this arc, and so relatable. I agree with your brother about everything.

Do they have matching jackets or is he wearing Brian’s clothes? I die! Brian really can’t escape teenagers who have a crush on him. YUP. I love Justin’s complaining about teenagers. That is such an iconic and hilarious scene.

You are doing such a good job babysitting. And he does have a crush on Gale. He’s going to find out that Gale is straight and wow, I want to know his reaction.

Thank you for these summaries! I love them!

[scalproie]

KAZUYA GO

^ me when I send my beloved anjanath named kaz to battle in mhs2

First impression

whos that new fucker theyre putting in smash bros now. Ive made a typo in his name 30 times. His hair is so stupid. Obssessed with his eyebrows tho. Whats so special about hi

Impression now

I hate this dilf💜

Favorite moment

1) that one moment in the final father & son fight in t7 where he cant kill heihachi and it brings him back 44 years ago where he also couldnt kill heihachi when he was 5 and it resulted in him being tossed off a cliff and awakening his devil gene and back to the present it angers him so much his eyes looks a bit glassy and he punches (while being human and not in his super devil form) heihachi so hard he gives him a heart attack and heihachi dies

2) when he learns his mother foretold what he would become and send a character from street fighter after him and his father to kill them and at first hes shaken but then he fucking uncharacteristically laugh out loud (a bit like his dad btw) because the reason he became what he is is because his dad threw him off a cliff, awakening his devil gene, after kazuya fought him for vengeance for his mother, that his father killed, bringing it all together in a neat little ironic bow.

3) when he tells his men not to attack the overpowered street fighter character and get themselves killed, and to send him his way instead. I just love when kaz accidentaly makes himself look good, that was his whole storyline in t6, and in a way, t1

4) sex middair in his devil form

Idea for a story

kazzy loses his devil gene and has to come back on top the old fashioned human way. Hes still evil and power hungry but he HAS to have normal human emotions to succeed. Alternatively, I like when hes around for jun & jin

Unpopular opinion

I like that he came back since t4 bc hes popular and that the tekken storyline revolves around the mishima :) *harada nods* I also think he has hidden depths and that hes an interesting nuanced charact *harada shoots me dead*

Favorite relationship

love kaz and jun. would love to have the tinest crumb of what their relationship was like someday :)

also love kaz and jin. would love to have them not only interact but realize the futility of their shared hatred and their shared abuse at the hands of heihachi someday :)

Favorite headcanon

love to think that between his awful boss behavior at 28 when he was finally in charge of the zaibatsu and him now being the CEO of g corp, in the almost 20 years in spend in a tank he had a revelation that was like "wait... people work for you better when they feel respected, have sick days, and a better salary?" (he doesnt even care that much about money, what he wants is unconditional power)

[kedreeva]

Yeah my laptops os definitely has a personal vendetta against you and that is why i have been unable to use my graphic tablet for a couple months now

Funnily enough about 1 hour after sending that ask i encountered Another one of my kids in public transport on the way home and my first thought was that i mustve summoned him with the previous ask

Now

I CANT BELIEVE THERE IS LIKE AN ACTUAL BATHROOM SCENE™ i thought the fucking robin and steve bathroom floor scenes for the fic™ that was lead to the proper beginning of the undoing of my sanity were just like a fucking thing in that fic i didnt know they were A Thing™ goddamn

AND STOP TELLING ME INTRIGUING STUFF ABOUT THE DAMNED SHOW CAUSE I CAN ONLY POSTPONE WATCHING IT FOR SO LONG WITH MY SANITY IN SHAMBLES

Goddamn it kedreeva ive never even properly Encountered either hopper or dmitri but now i am Invested in them i curse you to continue thinking about them in those circumstances until YOU crack and end up making something about the fuckers

Also no worries about taking a bit to reply idm in teh slightest i just thought tumblr mightve eaten my ask cause it does that quite a bit but yeah im glad youre getting your shit done (unlike me whos currently writing this reply in an attempt to further postpone making a google forms for a fucking poll that was supposed to be done hours ago so that tomorrow it can be sent out cause i fucking need the results by monday at the latest- and NO this ISNT _That_ assignment thats about to make me fail that class this is a completely different very very urgent thing im ignoring gotta love the executive dysfunction)

*soft gasp* the bathroom scene is so good....

You must have seen gifs of it! I've reblogged a few!! I will make some gifs tomorrow, but please... imagine.... Steve and Robin have been drugged with something to loosen their tongues, Steve's been beat to hell (robin was hit once, for spitting in a Russian officer's face), they've both just gotten ill, and they're slouched on the filthy floor in separate stalls of a movie theater bathroom. And to check if the drug is still in their systems, they start asking each other questions, and Robin's question is: "Have you ever been in love?"

And Steve tells her yeah, with Nancy Wheeler. Robin scoffs, but then softly asks him if he's still in love with her, and he thinks about it a second, and then says no, and she asks why not, and he starts to tell her that he found someone better for him. Someone that makes him laugh, someone that he has fun with, someone he should have been friends with long before now and he doesn't know why he wasn't except that he was an asshole before, and cared about things that didn't matter. And the cinematography is showing Robin in the other stall with her head in her hands, and when she doesn't answer, Steve slides under the stall wall to join her in her stall and asks her what she thinks.

And Robin tells him the girl sounds amazing, and Steve looks her in the eyes as best he can with only 1 good eye at the moment, and tells her earnestly "she is." and she tells him but the boy isn't thinking clearly. Then!!!! She asks if he remembers when she told him about the class they shared, and he says yeah, because it was like an hour ago, and she tells him well, she was jealous of Steve because Tammy couldn't look away from Steve, and Robin wanted her to look at her.

And Steve, precious baby boy, tells her, but Tammy is a girl? And Robin says his name, so soft, like he's being an idiot because he is, and he gets it, and leans back, thinking, and Robin looks a little crushed but she stays, she waits, she prompts him for his thoughts, and he says, like, yeah, it's fine but you need better taste in women. and then they start loudly singing like muppets and that's when and how Dustin and Erica find them.

You HAVE to see this scene, but I think I actually like the interrogation room floor scene a LITTLE better because Steve's beat up, but they haven't been drugged yet, and Robin comes up with a plan to jump-walk the chairs they are bound to over to the torture devices table to get something to cut their ropes with, but they just. fall over. and Steve - who is beat to hell - hits the ground with a pained noise and the utter silence of someone fighting not to make more of them, and Robin's shoulders start shaking and they're bound back-to-back so he feels it and immediately pulls himself out of his pain to tell her "it's okay, it's okay, don't cry, robin." Except, she's laughing because she cannot believe THIS is how she's gonna die or that this is WHO she is gonna die with.

And then Robin's telling him she sat behind him for a year and he never noticed her, and that he was a dick in hs but she wanted what he had and he softly confesses it wasn't worth a goddamn thing, actually. He tells her he wishes he had known her back then, maybe he'd have passed the class and be on his way to college, and she tells him she'd have no idea there were evil russians and she'd be slinging ice cream with some other schmuck.

and he just

so softly

admits that he has liked being her schmuck.

"It was fun while it lasted," says the boy that just tried to reassure her they weren't going to die.

breaks my heart, Delightful.

Episode 3.06 and 3.07 if you wanna find them :)

Also if you need more answers to your poll, you can send a link in and I'll post it. I hope you're able to find the drive to do your other assignment, I am rooting for you!

[sumbreon]

ive now watched dead reckoning absolutely loved it had a lot of fun watching it! this isnt really anything in particluar im just throwing my thoughts down while i still have them (this is going to get very disjointed i just know it)

ethan and another baby imf agent that hes already imprinted on, i feel like theres more to those two with ethan telling him he made the right choice, how involved was ethan in regards to him?? also it immediately killed me the mission brief telling ethan his rogue behaviour will not be tolerated like baby thats ethan, you KNOW hes going rogue! its not an if, its a when and at this point you should fucking trust the man going rogue!!! why dont these fuckers trust him?!?!?! also ethan deciding that the key and its purpose are actually very much his business he is going to find out! fuck you kittridge! and ethan not even for a second considering handing the key to anyone, hes destroying it, nobody gets to control this, because ethans side is the world, and if anyone gets it thats bad for so many more people than its good for. (i also loved the baby imf agent, whos name ive sadly already fuckin forgot, echoing this! but thats later) and kittridge going on saying ilsa was expendable oof i was delighted she was actually still alive shoutout to her and her sexy eyepatch

the airport oho! so sorry to benji but luther is absolutely the superior tech guy i cant lie. him then getting to demonstrate that by guiding both benji and ethan soso good. the airport was so good, the way theyre leading the imf around with the fakeouts and then the reveal that the entity was doing that to ethan too, penning him in, augh loved it (i feel like im going to say i loved a lot of things in this which is true i immediately want to go watch it again!) also them not fucking telling ethan about the bomb and just casually asking him a riddle and being like ‘dont worry its fine its under control’ tbf theyve disarmed nuclear bombs before but still! 

‘he has to be somewhere’ yeah hes behind you up on the roof sprinting at ungodly speeds to get on a plane to italy somehow, i really like the amount of levity in these films it feels a very balanced amount not too much to take you out of it, just enough

and grace the airport and then italy ethan going after her, like me trying to befriend a cat, like cmon please trust me please like me i wanna help! but shes too slippery she keeps getting away but its also too late for her ethan cares about her now. also italy. paris oh fuck yeah i was enthralled by her constantly. im not gonna lie watching her delight in gratuitous destruction was incredibly fucking hot!!! she could destroy me anytime after im done writing this i will be going to look for pictures/gifs of her and i will be looking at them for an unreasonable amount of time. anyway… ethan holding the steering wheel looking like a lost puppy then! benji!! :D and luther! and ilsa! :D ethans got his friends! i did also like the casual intimacy that ethan and ilsa share the reassuring touches they fucking care about each other and i love that its not explicitly stated as ‘anything’ i just love casual intimacy a lot

the party and those fucking lights on the screens i was just waiting for it to be revealed that the entity was ‘there’ watching 

it kills me thinking about ethans whole ‘nobody is expendable, only im expendable’ god i fucking love him and then gabriel and the whole one of these two people you care about dies because of you, because you care :( fucked up man… but i dont necessarily believe ilsa is dead what with the beginning trick and her like the imf being a ‘ghost’ how many times has the world been led to believe ilsa is dead? even with my doubts the scene on the rooftop with ethan being alone was still fucking mean :( and the entity using benjis voice to trick ethan too :( augh… 

and luthers conversation with ethan about gabriel and killing him not being the mission paralleling with ghost protocol and carter!!! ahhh!!!! luther telling ethan he needs to play 5d chess with this fucking thing. grace still not fully grasping how completely out of her depth she is shes been in way over her head from the start and she does not get any time to process any of it, things just keep happening and then being told her lifes over, being given ‘the choice’ but is it really a choice? 

the train, the fucking train, the plan of riding a motorcyle and landing on a moving goddamn train! what the fuck! oh benji… i absolutely did not fucking trust it when benji put the car on autopilot but i very much loved the continuity of the safey first seatbelt on gag also the continuation of benjis unwavering faith in ethans ability to pull off impossible things, guiding ethan up the trail to the top of the fucking mountain, he can figure it out from there its ethan hes got this (after watching these films and knowing tom cruise is doing the stunts i, this man could kill himself for the craft what the actual fuck man)

and back to baby imf agent and he GETS it he like ethan understands what the imf should be for, him saying the key would be too much power and when questioned as to whos side hes on, hes on the worlds, he gets it! and him defending ethan going rogue, ‘maybe he had a good reason’ yeah! maybe he fucking does!! im really looking forward to seeing him and ethan interact

zola my man… the way that he was absolutely clueless… i… (hang the fuck on i went to double check his name and according to the wiki he and alanna are maxs kids?? i knew they were at the thing for maxs death, alanna was hosting that? did i just completely miss the relation fact?)

oh god fucking gabriel and the train engineers and just leaving that man hanging i just :( didnt like that

and then gabriel and ethan on top of the train, ethan playing 5d chess and winning hell yeah, i was genuinely unsure what ethan was going to do in that moment being like ‘remember what luther told you ethan!’ it had to be real it had to be convincing for ethan to win that 

and then fuck the individual carriages going over the edge aaaaaa my apologies to the people either side of me hearing me holding my breath then letting it out with relief repeatedly 

ALSO THE VOICE OVER ABOUT THE CLOSER THEY ARE TO ETHAN THE LESS TIME THEY HAVE AND THAT BEING OVER ETHAN AND BENJI I DONT LIKE THAT

i had a very good time watching this

[picklewednesday]

SHERF IS LITERALLY SO BABY THAT IS A LITTLE GUY LIKE HERE LET ME SHOW YOU

he he is such a guy a guy whos there such silly i cant I AM UNABLE TO MUTTER THE WORDS OF THE LORE SINC E THE GAME ISNT OUT YET BUT THIS IS A SKRUNKLE WHO WAS SO SILLY THEN BECAME A SHERRIFF HE IS SO BABY BTW HES A LITTLE GUY HES SO SILLY LOOK AT HOW SILLY HE IS

OH MY GOD THEYRE SO CUTE I AM IMMEDIATELY IN LOVE WITH HIM

anyways Kenny McCormick. let me tell you about this fucker

kenny is a (now) 11 year old boy who was. nine when the show first started I wanna say??? anyways, he is a part of the four main characters (though the writers are slowly erasing his silly guy rep and making him a secondary character) he dies in EVERY episode, thus the 'Oh my god!! They killed Kenny! You bastards!!' gag being born. this continues up until s6, where he becomes terminally ill and dies for the whole season, then being brought back in the last episode. this ability is explored much more with mysteripn but I'll talk about that later. in the 6th season, Stan Kyle and Cartman feel weird without a fourth member of their group, and instead befriend tweek, and later butters (MIGHT have been the other way round I havent gotten to rewatching s6 yet)

Kenny is shown to be one of, if not the most, lighthearted characters in the show despite his DISASTROUS life. not even exaggerating this poor (haha get it bc he lives in poverty) kid does not get a break ever. He makes sexual jokes more than any of the other kids in south park but despite this he's Butters' best friend (btw butters' real name is Leopold Stotch. motherfucker soooooo silly) and they can be seen hanging out together a LOT. in s6 when Kenny is hospitalized, butters draws the two of them in a plane and tells Kyle to tell him he can't wait for Kenny to come back to school.

His speech is muffled due to the orange parka he has been shown to have worn since he was a literal child. a TODDLER. the exact same parka

His family is so silly in the sense that only the kids are silly. Kenny's parents are unable to hold a job log enough to keep the family fed. There are broken windows and rats and holes in the walls everywhere. Stuart and Carol have a meth lab in the back garden (which is later shown to be where the Tweaks get the meth for their coffee) and in s15, get arrested for it. Kevin, Kenny's older brother is shown to fight with Stuart a LOT. So much that Kenny barely even notices it when it happens anymore. Karen (bless her sweet little heart <33 ): ) is his younger sister and their close, protective relationship is first shown in the episode in which their parents get arrested and the kids end up in the foster care system.

Which beings me to my NUMBER ONE SILLY MEISTER!!!! Mysterion. Mysterion is a superhero persona of Kenny's, though I REFUSE to talk about the other personas since cartman of course had to get racist with it. Mysterion is a much more calm, serious persona than regular Kenny, who is very expressive, easily angered and emotional. Mysterion is a skilled fighter who goes around south park after school and fights crime, usually for the benefit of others (there was one time when he beat the shit out of his parents and told them to stop beating each other up so much, be nicer to their kids and some other stuff.)

Mysterion has only laughed ONCE IN ALL PF THE TIMES HE'S SHOWED UP. and it was because he was pissing off cartman. and then there was one time when he saw a photo of his parents getting arrested at an earlier date and he broke the persona for a second (BLESS HIS HEART I LOVE HIS NORMAL VOICE SM)

The other superhero personas (aside from Bradley. that fucker) don't have powers unlike Kenny, who reveals his inability to die in one of the episodes to his friends. like I said earlier Mysterion doesn't get pissed off as much but when he revealed his curse to his friends and Kyle said "Let's say you're not crazy. I think not being able to die would be pretty cool!" he gets really upset and yells at him about how he's been shot, run over etc COUNTLESS times. and then he jur wakes up the next day and NONE OF THEM remember it.

but that act brings me to how cartman DOES know and it's brought up a few times but DURING THAT CONVERSATION WHERE HE REVEALED HIS CURSE CARTMAN WASN'T THERE?????? god. the instances where it's brought up is the episode where they were trapped on a bus and telling stories and in cartman's, kenny dies but it's corrected. then later he says "kenny dies all the time" and OUGHHGYSRE AQAHWHEVEBEBRJS4GXJGDHDHD

As Mysterion, he is SO protective of Karen, to the point she considers mysterion her guardian angel. Mysterion defends her after they get separated in the foster care system and a few girls start to bully her, and he swoops in from above and beats the shit out of the girls bullying her and tells them that "Karen McCormick is off-limits." He later says to Karen when she's crying about being all alone (bless her heart </3) he says that as long as he's alive, she'll never be alone or something along the lines of that. later on in the game Karen says to mysterion (after befriending the goth kids) that she wished she had more friends to play with, that Kenny is her best friend but he doesn't usually have time to play with her and he says he'll make sure to tell Kenny that and OUGGHGGGGSGDHDHDH IM GONNA CRY.

theres also princess kenny but I donr remember as much about them

anyways PICTURE TINE!!!

^that's Kevin, alongside Kenny comforting a cared Karen :(

^ mysterion my little meow neow

^ mysterion and karen in sp:tfbw when karen says she wishes her brother had the time to play with her:((((

[the-spooky-children]

Little theory ramble here idk lol:

There are quite a lot of theorising videos and posts for SM floating around and I feel that some of them are so close but are looking in the wrong places. Like, lots focus on Pump's eyes being blue but the actual thing going on is that, after witnessing Eyes, everyone reacts in the same way that he did except for Skid. Skid is the outlier here, not Pump. Some people dismiss this as "oh there's netting on his mask which blocks it" but I feel that's a lazy excuse and the real reason is much more interesting and reveals what the cult's intentions are (at least a little bit).

Obviously I can't claim that I know everything because I am not one of the people working on the show, but quite a lot of the things I've thought have already been confirmed (Skid's dad is dead or at least was dead at one point, the giant spider will be a villain in the future, the cult is sacrificing children to Eyes, Skid's dad will come back in the future, etc) and I feel like things are really starting to come together.

So, the cult are probably paying Frank large sums of money to kidnap children so he can give them to them to feed to Eyes. This could be so that they get powers, oute of fear and desperation so that Eyes doesn't kill them, both (most likely), or something else. I also don't think that Skid's dad is a normal human, and whatever makes him different was probably passed on to Skid. I think that something that the dad was born with, was cursed with, that he did to himself, whatever, made it so that he was immune to Eyes' influence and maybe also gained powers(idk), and that Skid was born also having this ability.

(The next thing is a MatPat-level dive with almost no paragraph breaks I'm just getting my ideas down quick now ok lol)

I think that what happened, at least right now, is that Lila and the Dad met as both being members of the cult, and that after falling in love and having a child, they tried to escape but were followed by the cult and were forced to move (Lila and toddler Skid are shown with moving boxes in one of the pictures on the wall in SM 4, picture taken by Jaune showing they've known eachother for a long time). They lived in the town for a few years (some people think they haven't been there for that long, but the amount of stuff, dust and cobwebs in the attic makes this unlikely) before the cult found them and murdered the Dad in his own home, leaving his corpse to decompose in the attic stairway. This led to Lila having an emotional meltdown about it, which made her rip up or scribble over all photos that reminded her of her husband, which may also be the reason for why his body was not moved. A little side theory that I have is that the Dad's ghost haunts the mannequin in the attic, which would make sense if he died right outside of it, but that isn't that important right now.

The cult were unable to get to Lila and Skid for some reason, but set up camp in the town in the house on the hill. This house is one that happened to have been build on top of the burrow of some sort of Lovecraftian god-like creature called The Eyes of The Universe. This is a creature that they had been worshipping for decades, and now that it is within their reach (its home being revealed after it creates a hole in the floor to rescue Skid and Pump from Roy's creepy uncle, who was probably apart of the cult too), they can begin to get to business again. Mr Clown was probably the leader before he was killed by Jack shooting him, and Skid is probably who they want to be their leader eventually. (Also, you know they said "we will take all and get everything, everything will give us more than is all"? I think that, in this situation, Skid is Everything and Pump is All).

Eyes hypnotised Pump, the Hatzgang, maybe Kevin and some random people on the street, with Skid seemingly immune to this. After this, Eyes is visible in the sky from now on, which makes me think Skid and Pump may have woke it from a very long hibernation and it is now on watch of the town. Skid and Pump are threatened by a demonically possed Dexter the Exterminator, which alerts Eyes. It takes over Pump's body to help them get out of the situation, which is lucky because Skid would be so dead if Pump wasn't there. Dexter's ghost immediately possesses a Happy Fella doll which seems to have been designed to capture the souls of children like some FNAF animatronic shit (sorry for bringing that up I'm listening to the new Living Tombstone FNAF SB song on loop while writing this) and Moloch is seemingly dead. When Lila, Skid and Pump are hiding from Dexter in the attic the mannequin falls on Dexter, stunning him (which is what led to my haunted mannequin theory), as a massive spider is seen on the ceiling as an explanation for the ridiculous amount of webs covering the room. The Happy Fellas are destroyed (incoudisng the one Jaune brought), which probably means that Dexter is hanging around their house now. Bob Velseb, who is obviously the demon guy from the first episode, is then revealed to have escaped from prison and is running around, beginning to kill and eat people, which will likely be the plot of SM 5. The photo Pelo posted on Twitter of the next episode hints that a game of hide and seek will be played and that we will get a very disturbingly detailed look at the murderous and cannibalistic tendencies of this killer.

Also, side note, something I really hope happens in SM 5 that probably won't is that Bob tries to chop down a door with an axe with Lila on the other side screaming with some sort of reference to The Shining

We get lime, Sans Undertale, anime girls (Touhou maybe?), some actors that I don't know and blue e-boy, also rainbow beads which I hope to got aren't anal beads

And, I know what you're thinking, yes I do think that Jack and John are gay lovers and I really hope they kiss after tracking down Bob and apprehending him at the end of the episode

This ended up being so long I'm so sorry lmao