#i hate it bc i literally had an awful feeling when i walked into my kitchen tonight

[bunnihearted]

🐁☁️🌫️

[nexus-nebulae]

brrrrr (/pos)

[stevethehairington]

THERE WAS ANOTHER FUCKING MOTH ANOTHER FUCKING MOTH A N O T H E R F U C K I N G M O T H ANOTHER FUCKING MOTH I CANT DO THIS I CANT DO THIS I CANT DOOO THISSSS

[inf3ct3dd]

ellie headcanons ..!

warnings : literally none, perfectly sfw 😍😍

content: loser!ellie x reader, more ellie-focused than relationship focused (sorryyyy 😞😞)

authors note: i’ve literally never done headcanons omg 😓 this is js my random ramblings 🔥🔥🔥

pt. 2 ! taglist!!!! masterlist!!

- send you an excessive amount of reels. every 5 seconds. cute cats, random facts about space, stuff she thinks is funny, it all goes to you.

- definitely had a “rock collection” when she was little, but she was so ???? excessive with it??? like every time she saw a rock she picked it up. she walked so weird bc her pockets were just FULL OF ROCKS.

- also, was literally the grimiest kid ever. playing in ROLLING IN the mud, going snail hunting when it rained!!! she was the kid that would go in the bushes and mess w rolly pollies all the time for NO REASON.

- is weirdly good at fishing?? joel took her all the time, and shes a self proclaimed “fishing master”

- WAYYY clumsy. always running into a wall, tripping on air, or missing steps on the stairs (smh its cuz of that damn phone 😒😒)

- im so into the whole “adam sandler” fits cuz its so true. esp during the summer, its some stupid t shirt that says “master baiter” and a pair of old basketball shorts.

- speaking of t shirts, she’s def the type to own an absurd amount of dumb t shirts.

- gets all her clothes from like, walmart and goodwill. she does not CARE!!!

- cuts her own hair too 🤞🏽🤞🏽 shes soooo self sufficient 😍😍😍

- bites. she is such a biter.

- speaking of, i feel like she js has to have something in her mouth constantly. gum, random pieces of plastic, bottle caps, pens, anything 😞

- speaking of mouths (wow sierra so many connections!!!) she def had braces , but she hates wearing her retainer so her teeth are like ever-so-slightly fucked up

- is AMAZING at committing to the bit. she will drag it for DAYSSS if you don’t tell her to stop. once did a (awful) british accent for 4 days until you threw something at her and told her to shut the fuck up

- definitely not shy, just kind of…odd. she’ll talk to anyone that talks to her, she just doesn’t really approach people.

- weird obsession with pickles. has a pickle stuffed animal with a mustache and glasses that she bought from goodwill

- hangs up so much stuff on her walls!!!! tickets, old notes, cards, pictures of people, drawings, old tickets, literally anything she thinks looks cool

- obsessed with rollercoasters!!! she took you to the fair for your first date

- also like- very good at fair games. she’s so cocky about it too, you’ll go home with like 20 stuffed animals she won for you and she’ll carry ALL OF THEM with the stupidest smile on her face

- wears all of joels old contractor-workwear clothes during the colder months

- trys so hard to be “mysterious” but she’s never actually doing anything so she just does stuff like not telling you what movie she’s watching or what she’s eating

- also just texts you 24-7!!! like every time she’s doing something she’s like “i made a quesadilla” “i went to the store” “i took a shower” she just looooves keeping you updated

- tries to raise one eyebrow but ends up just squinting one eye. so funny 😞😞

- really good at solving rubix cubes???

- definitely had a fuck ass bob at one point

- GLASSES. that is all. glasses.

- listens to so much dad rock, midwest emo, indie, she LOVES male manipulator music!! but like she isn’t like thatttt shes so niceeee 😞😞

- mostly calls you babe/baby, she’ll call you really dumb pet names as a joke like “pookie” 😭😭

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Ok, I’ll guess I’ll just be the Hiddles anon. Lol since my hatred for her really geared up bc of her involvement with him.

Anyway. So wait. She cheated on Joe??? That’s like the third time she’s cheated, if I’m not mistaken.

She cheated on Calvin — or at least there was an overlap — with Tom Hiddleston. Then she insinuated in her shit music, that she used Tom as a rebound or cover bc she actually wanted Joe (she met them both around the same time at the Met Gala in 2016). And she used Joe to “prove” how private she really was bc she blamed Tom for their “romance” being so out there.

The man would travel between London and various places in America without a peep, but, sure, Jan.

Their breakup always cracks me up bc he was supposed to fly from LA to the east coast somewhere to meet back up with her. On her plane. They had paps on the tarmac in LA to show him getting on the plane. Then they had paps waiting with her on the east coast to catch them reuniting. Except when the plane landed no one got out. So she went and climbed onboard. A few minutes passed and she came stomping out of the plane mad as a hornet and shooed the paps away. Word got out that he decided after his awkward and uncomfortable appearance at ComicCon some time before that (when he literally said the words “Taylor Swift and I are in love” 🙄) that he didn’t want to be a part of this PR nightmare anymore. So he didn’t get on the plane. And to add insult to injury, it was said he left a small gift bag on one of the seats. Inside it? A self-help book for getting over narcissism. 🤣🤣🤣 He popped up like a week later in London near where he lived. Proving he can get around without anyone noticing him.

During this PRship is when I really got an idea of how she operates and controls her image. She has a three month plan: the “outing,” so to speak (pix on the rocks kissing with Hiddles), being seen out and about (them kissing and touring in time and other places), pix with his family (they walked on the beach near his mother’s home with his mother, sister, and young niece), and then her supporting her friends (they attended a Selena Gomez concert fighter….he looked like a dad accompanying his daughter and her friends 🤦🏽‍♀️). She also has scripts for what her partner is supposed to say. I’ve heard he kept them and he and his friends would sit around (after they broke up) and read them out loud and laugh their asses off at the terrible writing. It’s probably why he sounded so wooden and uncomfortable when he spoke about her during the, what I call, Snakebite of Summer 2016. The rumors were she was trying to get him to take her to the Emmys that September but he didn’t want to.

Anyway…yeah I have a lot of intel from those days 😂 (sorry for the long ass ask!)

hiddleswift lore? in MY inbox? in 2024? it’s more likely than you think! I love this rundown thank you for explaining it!

She’s cheated 3 times and she’s still the victim in all her music? HOW? And how the hell did she convince her fans too?

So she cheated on Calvin with Tom to get with…Joe? This is so manipulative. I hate feeling bad for men but she genuinely makes me feel bad for her exes. She’s awful. If he actually left the self help book, he’s so funny for that. It’s been 8 years and she still hasn’t changed.

Your analysis of her PR relationships is on point! I see the same thing happening with Kelce. With the release of this album it feels like she’s intentionally fizzling out their romance. The scripts make sense because all of her partners sound the same when talking about her. How miserable she must be knowing all the love her partners have for her is fabricated.

[everythingdenied]

promptober-13

leaves fallen sparse-dad!matty

a/n: lil blurb inspired by the fact that matty has been looking painfully dilfy atm...and also bc i am hormonal & freezing and feel like i haven't posted anything in agesssss. also promptober YAY!! tysm @abiiors u have reminded me i don't hate writing.

wc: 620

"Fuck me, i'm freezing my tits off. Can we not just...go home?"

I turned my head, walking a few paces ahead of Matty to try and keep up with the very enthusiastic toddler wobbling along the cobblestone in front of me. Amelie had only learnt to walk less than a month ago but, from the minute she'd figured out how, she'd been eager to use those little legs of hers, putting both me and her dad on pins whenever she decided to toddle anywhere near the edge of the coffee table at home.

"Matty..." I scolded, glaring at the man as he grumpily shoved his hand's into the pockets of his trench coat, kicking at a pile of dried, amber leaves at his feet. "You were literally the one who suggested this."

He rolled his eyes and puffed out a dramatic sigh, jogging the few steps forward to catch up with Amelie and I.

"Yeah. Didn't think it'd be this cold" he grumbled. "I feel like Scott of the fuckin' antarctic."

Matty dug his hands deeper into his pockets, pouting when he found no relief from the crips autumn air, nor any sympathy for me, who only breathed a quiet laugh at his melodrama and pulled him into my side. His teeth chattered, clicking against each other exaggeratedly, and he nuzzled into the crook of my neck, whimpering like a small child.

"You are such a man child sometimes, jesus christ" i giggled, but gave in to his fawning, placating him with a soft kiss to the tip of his rosy nose, only pulling back when I felt something bump against my leg.

Looking down, I noticed our nearly two year old had stopped dead in the middle of the pavement, crouched down to inspect something she'd found between the cobbles.

"Careful, baby..." I hummed, the momentary concern I felt dissipating when I squatted down beside her to take a proper look at what had captured her attention so desperately she'd felt the need to stop walking. "What've you got, Am?"

Clutched in my little one's hand was a leaf; a perfectly shaped, dried out, copper leaf, reminiscent of the one's you'd see on some slightly kitsch advert for a pumpkin spice latte. It wasn't anything particularly magnificent, it was just a leaf, the same you could find sparsely peppering every street in England after the month of October, and yet Amelie stared at it in awe, her mouth agape as if she'd just discovered a new planet.

"Leaf!" she giggled happily and held it out for me to take. Her eyes flit between Matty and I, presumably waiting for the two of us to catch up on the joy this leaf was supposedly meant to bring us, and she prompted me once more to take it from her.

"Well done, baby" I smiled and gingerly took the singular piece of foliage from her, careful not to crinkle it as she grinned toothlessly. "S'pretty, huh?"

Amelie nodded vigorously, her little mustard bobble hat threatening to tip off her hid, and pointed once more.

"Pretty leaf..." she babbled thoughtfully, gazing up at Matty as I settled her woollen hat back in its rightful position, sitting perfectly atop her mop of dark ringlets she could have only inherited from one place. "Daddy, look! Pretty leaf."

Matty laughed warmly, his heart swelling tenfold, and crouched down to pick Amelie up in his arms, hugging her little frame to his chest as her elated squeal bounced through the empty estate.

"Mhm...'s a very pretty leaf" he nodded, and reached out to grasp her tiny hand in his own, his lips brushing over her knuckles as she wriggled in his arms. "But not nearly as pretty as you, my littlest darlin..."

[noah-liketheboat]

I’ve recently begun using a wheelchair. Here’s the scoop.

I also started using forearm crutches even more recently but we’ll get to that in a second post bc this one got too long

I got my chair for $325 on OfferUp. It’s a motion composites Helio A6, and it has some fancy cushions on it. All in all I got it like 88% off of original price and it’s in pristine condition. Well, it was, until I brought it home and within 24 hours my cat scratched the (pink!!) paint job and put holes in the cushions. Thanks Misty. It now lives in the back of the car for its protection.

I put a clip-on cup holder on it and purple/white spoke covers. It’s pretty sick.

I use my wheelchair instead of walking/standing probably 30-40% of the time.

Personally

Oh my god it’s helped so much. I have so much more energy. I don’t flinch when I stand or walk. I can wait in line for food. I’m not dizzy, embarrassingly sweaty, and spacey just from standing in line anymore.

Because the previous owner spent literally $1,000 on special cushions (seat and back), I have the comfiest seat in any room 96% of the time. 10/10 would recommend. It helps with the back pain too obvi but first and foremost it’s so comfy.

I can go to the zoo. I get into the zoo for free because college but I can’t ever go because I can’t tolerate walking and standing for so long. But now I can go to the zoo!

I have more energy at the end of the day to participate in household chores and life. Before this, all my time was spent either in school or trying to recover enough to go to school again. Even doing my homework was difficult because of the fatigue, let alone date nights, hobbies, cooking dinner, sweeping the floors… it caused a lot of tension between me and my partner as well as my general being miserable.

Very steep learning curve. Very steep strength curve.

The ramp to my math class isn’t a steep grade but it’s long. When I started using it, I had to wheel up backwards. I got out of breath very easily and my shoulders were always aching something awful after going between classes. Now that hill is quite manageable and I only have sore shoulders if I’m going really fast or really far.

Wheelies. An unexpected but important skill. One that I am not good at. It took me weeks to get my wheels off the ground at all, but once I did I had a huge improvement and quickly was able to get my wheels ~6 or 8 inches off the ground. I still can’t sustain it though. I use them to go over bumps and get started up awkward ramps sometimes.

It’s been an amazing improvement to my life. I’m more independent, in less pain, happier, and more energetic. I should’ve done it earlier.

Observations:

People are weird. They talk to me more. Like, strangers ask me how my day is going in the elevator, people make small talk when they hold the door. This isn’t necessarily negative, but it is weird.

Kids stare. Adults also stare but they try to hide it. I don’t mind when kids stare though. They’re just curious and unaware.

I’m always a little nervous to ever stand up or walk out in public in case someone either thinks it’s a miracle and starts praising the lord or like hate-crimes me for “faking.”

When I wheeled in to all my classes after spring break, my teachers and seat mates were all instantly “oh my god what happened are you ok???” It’s a little awkward to explain that it’s just nerve damage that’s been getting worse.

People usually say “I’m so sorry” or “I hope you get/feel better soon!” And it’s like. I know their intentions are good, of course, but I don’t want people to be sorry! This has been an amazing life change for me! Also I’m not getting better, certainly not any time soon, and conversation gets awkward after that.

I think when I tell people it’s not really a “get better” thing, I think they at least subconsciously think it’s terminal or something?? Like. I’m not dying of nerve damage. I had nerve damage before spring break too. It’s just I finally decided to do something besides suck it up and hope I can make it through the day.

My campus is not as accessible as I once thought. The main culprit? UNLEVEL SIDEWALKS. They are the bane of my existence. My right arm will be pumping like my life depends on it and my left will be almost doing nothing. And then later when I’m doing the other way it’ll be the opposite.

There’s no ramp on the other side of one of the buildings I walk through to get to class. That was awkward.

There’s also a lot of cobblestone-type walking areas. Not only are they hella bumpy to wheel on, but they’re old and not well maintained. The cracks between slabs and the potholes can and will eject me from my chair if I’m not careful.

Funny story #1:

I rolled into the disability center on campus to take a test, as per usual (extended time and testing environment accommodations) and they had me wait while they got everyone else seated, which was weird, and then the testing coordinator came over to me and sat down next to me and was like “heyy how are you?” And I was like “I’m good, I’m good! Ah, well—*gestures to chair* yknow.” And she goes “Yeahh of course… so is this… new?”

Is it new??? Ma’am you see me every three weeks on the dot for tests, and every time for the past two years I’ve walked in on my own two feet, and today I come rolling in as I’ve transgendered into a vehicle. Yeah it’s new!!

Don’t worry I didn’t say that. I said “yeah, well, kind of. The chair is new, but the reasons aren’t. It’s just helping me a lot and my life is easier with it.” or smthn like that and she was like “oh ok good cool great”

Anyways, she just needed to tell me essentially that she would have me take my test at a height-adjustable table. Same room, same everything. Just instead of sitting in a test cubby I’d be at what’s essentially one of those standing desks. I was all nervous just for her to sit me at a table I can crank up and down like an old car window.

Funny Story #2

I’m rolling across the courtyard(??) in front of the library where they were having one of those random college of business things with tents everywhere. You’re aware. Just trying to get to class.

I hear “Hey! Excuse me, hey!” from behind me and I turn my head to see a girl frantically waving me down running across the grass. Naturally I’m intrigued.

She gets to me, a little out of breath, and then goes “Would you be interested in playing tennis?”

I look down at my chair. I look back up at her. “Ah… no…”

She was talking about adaptive tennis. Which I could’ve guessed probably but I was caught so off-guard and I was real confused.

She invited me to join the adaptive sports program/club thing, which is headed by a disabled professor but run entirely by able-bodied students (who get a class credit for volunteering with the organization, essentially). I told her I was really new so probably not, but I was willing to look into it. She gave me the professor’s email and I sent him an email like “hey one of your students flagged me down to talk abt adaptive sports but I’m shit at wheelchairing so probably not but I’d love to meet up and chat and get to know more about the program and stuff.”

It’s been a month. I haven’t gotten a reply or acknowledgement or anything.

All the stuff I can find about the program is obviously directed towards able-bodied students wanting them to volunteer or take the class. The Instagram has a post with each student in the class getting a slide with their lil intro and stuff. The professor only appears in group shots. At any rate I’m not that invested.

Personal Relations

Abled ppl when I told them I’m getting a wheelchair: oh no!! I’m so sorry!! What’s wrong!! That’s awful!! :((((

Disabled ppl when I told them I’m getting a wheelchair: omg that’s amazing I’m so happy for u :)

One exception to the able bodied trope: my youth group Bible study, surprisingly. I was sharing that I was really feeling a lot of turmoil about my decision and all that jazz and they were like “just do it. you already know it’s the right choice, and ur strong enough to do it” and they all “oohed” and “ahhed” when I rolled up with it next week. 10/10 queens.

My wheelchair has caused so many personal relationship issues in my life. So many.

Suddenly everyone’s a medical expert in me specifically. Everyone besides me knows what’s best, and what’s best is not a wheelchair. People who used to ask me what was wrong with them when they had a tickle in their throat or fell on their foot funny have apparently become scholars on complex hashimotos, nerve damage, neuropathy, and any and all suspected other conditions I may have. I wonder when they had time to do that, since they still don’t know how to care for a simple kitchen injury.

When I point out that the alternative to the wheelchair is constant+worsening pain and ask them if that’s what they think is best, these overnight medical experts get all huffy and don’t have an answer.

I have done extensive research about all my diagnosed conditions and possible ones over the course of many years. I’ve been in and out (mostly out) of at least a dozen doctor’s offices and done several rounds of different types of PT. I also live in my body 24/7. One of my earliest memories is of waking up my aunt at night during a sleepover because my nerve pain wouldn’t let me sleep. I wasn’t any older than 4. Back then the only words I had were leg cramps and growing pains.

I didn’t know my pain was abnormal for a long time. I’m good at hiding it. I’m good at “pushing through.” I experienced severe medical neglect, to the point of it being life-threatening, for nearly 2 years in the TTI and I was punished any time I tried to advocate for myself and my needs or really even talked about how I wasn’t physically well.

Basically I gave up trying to truly tell people how bad my quality of life was when I was about 16 because I wasn’t believed and I was often punished and/or had it used against me.

Nevertheless, everyone (read: my partner, my parents, and my partner’s parents) in my life thinks that I’m terrible awful wrong bad lying etc. for using the chair.

I’ve been using it for ~2 months and this is the first week my partner hasn’t argued with me about it or made an unnecessary comment. #1 worst thing they’ve said is that I’m “neglecting half of my body” by not walking 24/7. Oooh that made me mad. I do my PT almost every day, I stretch every day, I know exactly what almost every ache and pain originates from, I check in with my body constantly throughout the day. But I’m “neglecting it.” Not to mention that after my second appointment my Doctor specifically said he wants me using the chair until at least June.

My partner was originally very supportive, but then they talked to their mom and suddenly everything changed and they are borderline vindictive about my chair. Their mother is a Doctor, true, but most of her career she was a PICU nurse and also knows exactly nothing about my medical history except that I’m allergic to pecans and walnuts. Oh, and their dad has a friend who cured hashimotos by going gluten free, so obviously I’m just not trying hard enough or smthn. ((I’ve been almost gluten free before. No change.))

I cried every week about their attitude towards/comments about my chair except for this one. Every time I felt confident about it I would remember everything they said and my shoulders would physically slump. But no matter how many times I brought up how hurt and uncared for I was feeling, it ended up with me crying and them being either the same or more solid in their beliefs.

My therapist is a saint.

On the brightish side, my family and partner have finally begun taking my health and chronic issues seriously. I went to the Doctor two weeks after I got the chair and got started on a new medicine (a loop diuretic if anyone’s curious).

My mom keeps asking if I’m “better yet” and it’s really hurtful for some reason? She wants to know all my improvements, but when I start to say how my chair has helped so much, she cuts me off and says “no I mean the medicine.”

I am on the lowest dose they make, and I only take it every other day. I haven’t lost any weight since starting it (loop diuretics work by flushing excess water out of your body via peeing every twelve seconds, and this leads to weight loss. It’s estimated I’m carrying ~30lbs in water weight). Again, it’s been nearly two months. I’m the pissmaster 9000 every other day.

My mom at some point said she just “can’t accept that I’m in a wheelchair at 20.” My brother in Christ, what does that even mean? I’m not even using it full-time, or even the majority of the time.

I’ve had a follow up with my Doctor since I started but he kept me on the same dose even though I told him I haven’t lost any weight. Cest la vie.

He did tell me he wants me using the chair until at least June, and if all goes well he’ll start me in (another round of) PT, and it sounded like he wanted me doing decently intensive PT because he asked if I was in school in June and said it was good I wasn’t. If I go to PT, the chair usage advice will be passed on to them.

This post got far too long. I’ll split my crutches experience into a separate post and link it here once it’s up.

The chair herself. Yeah it’s in a bathroom don’t worry about it.

[unmaskingdisability]

So you want to die (but shouldn't do that)

A list of ways I force myself to keep going even when my entire body is on fire & my brain feels like it's going through a cheese grater

MAKE A PLAN WITH SOMEONE YOU ACTUALLY LIKE - Not a friend you have to gear yourself up to hang out with. A good friend, that will cost low spoons, and plan to do something you enjoy. Nothing extravagant that requires a lot of energy, and it doesn't even have to be in the imminent future. Make a dinner plan for next week and think about that lilac lemonade you've been wanting to make for them. Make a plan to hang out later this month and watch anime with your friend that's good at bullshitting and making you laugh. You won't want to do this when you can't imagine leaving your bed. Do it anyways.

DRAG YOUR EXHAUSTED ASS OUTSIDE - Dress in as many layers as you need or just wrapped in a blanket. Wear sunglasses and headphones if you need. Don't force yourself to do anything, except being outside for at least a few minutes. Sometimes it's cold and wet and all I can handle is walking out for a minute. Sometimes it's warmer and pleasant and now I'm exhausted slumped in the sun or under a pine tree instead of in a dark dirty (mine is anyways bc of the wanting to die and pain) room

VENT - Look I'm the master hypocrite. I run a disability group and I still haven't told pretty much anyone in my life I had to quit my job after my body broke down too far too fast. I advocate emotional vulnerability all day and will legitimately enact it constantly, about everything except how fucking miserable and hopeless and depressed and in pain and scared I am. You don't want to tell anyone because you're convinced they already hate you or are about to leave. I'm not gonna say you need to get over that tonight. But you gotta get it out of your head and your muscles and your body. You've gotta write or draw or splash paint (I will literally fingerpaint just colors sometimes) or hack up invasive plants or make poetry or cry to the person you do feel comfortable talking to. You've gotta get it out You've gotta get it out and also! If being honest about your life and difficulties does push people away fuck them!! Community is everything and that's something they never were, so it's space for something real

GO SOMEWHERE NEW AND BEAUTIFUL - This is one of the hardest things to do when depressed, but if helps so much when you can get yourself somewhere new & exciting and show your brain good things are still happening. For me, this looks like going to a new park, or science/art museum, or to see some pretty lights strung up for the holidays. Nowhere so crowded or busy it'll be too overwhelming, you just need to show your brain everything isn't awful static and get some dopamine pumping.

I'll keep adding to this because I'm full of too much spite and exhaustion and reluctant extreme caring so much to leave you all alone in this shithole

[kybelles]

for the choose violence ask game: 10, 16, 18!

HELLO BABY!!! sorry in advance since this is all about DAMEN DAMEN and DAMEN cause duh... ik it's not a trendy expression anymore but he really does live rent free in my head 💔

10. worst part of fanon

OH DEAR..... yk i'm trying really hard to not sound deranged and delusional but i feel like there are so many skewed interpretations of damen even though the books are literally from his pov. here are some of them:

a. "damen is an unreliable narrator" i've literally gone to battle with people over this take cause NO HE'S FUCKING NOT?? you say 'damen didn't see laurent's good qualities and was overly judgemental of veretians' i say damen not fucking with his captors who's been nothing but awful to him doesn't mean he was unreliable!! it wasn't like laurent was a golden angel and damen willingly hated on him for nothing. book 1 laurent treated him horribly and damen had every reason and right to not trust him or find him honorable.

b. "damen was a fuckboy who discarded the people he slept with the second he was done with them before laurent" breaking news: if someone sleeps with a lot of people that means he has no respect for them and is bound to treat them like shit! the lack of canon evindence doesn't matter!

(if the take is about damen not being in love with his partners before laurent then i'm on board!! it's the implication that damen was an inconsiderate sex partner that boggles my mind cause... did we read the same books?)

c. "damen is actually bad at sex" is a take/joke(?) i've seen MULTIPLE times and it never fails to make me think what a fucking stupid thing it is to say ❤️

d. "damen learned empathy from laurent" ????? lmao. anyways...

e. "damen was lazy and kastor picked up his slack" is everything ok with your eyes? when's the last time you've seen an ophthalmologist?

f. "theomedes neglected damen" damen literally spends page after page reminiscing about his father's words, advices and their last days together. he also says theo was the only parent he knew all his life and since someone needed to raise him to be this fascinating gentle giant... 1+1=3???

g. any interpretation where damen is some sort of neanderthal who is a selfish spoiled and clueless oaf who needs to be educated by girlypopboss laurent OR where he lets laurent walk all over him and has no agenda of his own. just... no.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing

any setting where laurent is downright cold and rude towards damen FOR NO APPARENT REASON and yet damen is still obsessed with him, again for some mysterious reason??? not to sound like some know-it-all condescending bitch (tho i suspect to some degree i'm already infamous and some ppl dislike me bc of it 🥺 oh well...) but i think most people forget damen only started giving laurent the time of his day once laurent started showing him basic deceny during pg. i really don't think he'd be interested in someone who rebuked him at every chance and showed no interest at him.

(some ppl give jokaste as an example to excuse this but damen only says jokaste wasn't easily courted aka she didn't immediately jump into his bed (which is admirable omg... i wouldn't be as strong...) he never said she aloof towards him)

18.it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

THE FACT DAMEN IS A HUGE NERD!!! seriously, who listens to FOUR HOURS of poetry in one sitting... we all tend to focus on his martial insterests but ik my boy is also a sophisticated man 💅

[generallysapphic]

let’s go everywhere together +18 (riri williams x reader) pt 2

it’s one of your first school breaks with riri and you’ve been trying to avoid any contact with your family for as long as possible, ignoring phone calls and not reading texts. riri notices this, and plans a couple of weeks away for you both, surprising you and accidentally causing some of the problems you wanted to avoid arise.

we’re back again folks. riri my love, i neeeddd you. y’all already know this is that little riri series i’m working on and i really hope you guys are liking it bc i don’t plan on stopping anytime soon! riri means the world to me (part one here!)

my usually warnings; overstim, strap on sex, crying, praise kink, pet names, light bullying, squirting, multiple orgasms, reader gets spoiled/ mild angst, homophobic family, unsupportive family, lesbianaphobia and harsh language, crying (for a different reason), supportive! riri, defensive! riri

song inspo : do you mind by evann mcintosh

tag list; thank you my loves for all the support!! @chidinma @rxcently @vlkyriesverse @verachii @widowmakker @mocha-aya @shuristan101 @dejaonline @supahst4r @no-oneelsebutnsu @an1meslvt @shuriszn @yamsthoughts @6-noir @g4yforu @adharaoaklyn @remwritess @lolas-bunny @msplayas @acommonwhor3

enjoy!! 💟

riri had been spoiling you lately. and you knew exactly why.

spring break was coming up, and the year had flown right past your eyes. your grades were good, you were good, so happy and content living your little life with riri on campus, but it was all coming to an end. in just one short week, your world was going to come crashing down. in one week you’d either have to decide to go back home for three weeks and face the wrath that is your extremely awful mother or nearly empty your already small bank account to rent an air bnb or hotel room long enough for the break.

you couldn’t fathom staying with your mother, it would practically kill you; her terrible, old ways and just all in all intensity was just so unpleasant to be around, but it was overall how much you knew she hated that you were a lesbian. it ate her up inside like she was dealing with her own demons about her sexuality of some sort, but you couldnt take three weeks of fighting, or her threatening to kick you out or end your phone plan or anything like that.

and those thoughts have been weighing on you, making you go quiet during conversations and having a lull in participation in even your favorite class. all your cakes in culinary were failing and your notes had become jumbled and useless to understand, so much so your professors pulled you aside to ask if there was any way they could help.

you always said, “yes, keep me in class over break so i don’t have to go home,” and they always laughed, even though you were completely serious.

riri was picking up on this too. she would constantly buy you things, you spent every single night in her dorm, or you were never in yours alone. she would be at your side, always trying to make you laugh in some way to ease your mind. and you appreciated it, of course you did, but thoughts like these weren’t just going to disappear anytime soon.

it was really weighing you down.

you were leaving your composition and design class, and in two short hours you’d literally be homeless, broke, or driven into insanity and the thought made your chest ache. you sighed as your phone rang in your pocket, you knew who it was, even though you had blocked her after her very disturbing comments on thanksgiving.

once the call dropped, you called riri, already feeling tears weld up in your eyes. she picks up almost immediately, “hey baby, class over?” and you whisper a small “yeah,” walking straight to her dorm with your head down and voice quiet. riri hears it though, “hey, it’s alright baby, she still calling?” and you nod even though you know she can’t see you, but she understands. “when you get home, i have a surprise okay, it’ll make you feel so much better i promise, okay? it’s already unlocked,” and you smiled, eyes still wet but your heart finally slowed, “thank you, baby,”

and you hear her smile, “anything for you,” your steps pick up a bit, and finally you’re at her building.

riri’s music is heard through her dorm room before you even get there and you smile to yourself, happy to know everything will get better the minute you open her door.

when you do, riri’s packing, most of her dorm already barren and empty and your heart sinks. right, you think, riri’s leaving. your mind reels for a second but riri sees you and comes up to you and rubs your arms, “hey, woah, whatever you’re thinking stop it because it’s not it, it’s alright,” and you nod, trying to hear her but your eyes are already getting wet again and you feel stupid and so over it—

and riri pulls up her phone, showing you her screen, and it says,

your two week air bnb has been booked! confirmation code 7HD89JKMA. CHECK IN: April, 4 2:00 pm under name, RIRI WILLIAMS, for destination myrtle beach, south carolina thank you!

you blink for a second, not actually understand the message until riri talks again, “i know you were really stressed about going home and all that shit for spring break, so i thought we could spend it together,” she says, smiling, and your heart swells and you smile, eyes now wet for a different reason, and you want to hug her but you think—

“oh my god, riri, how much was this? we can’t— you shouldn’t have—” and she cuts you off, “actually i didn’t even spend that much. turns out the owners are real but fans of ironheart, so, for a little fee of 10k, i gave them a lil prototype blaster i made,” she shrugs a bit when you laugh at her, shocked, “i honestly can’t believe they bought it, that thing was so useless,” she’s saying but you can’t hear her, your head is ringing and you’re filled with so much joy.

you nearly tackle her into a hug, much like she does you, and she laughs as you kiss all over her face, your lip gloss getting everywhere and you’re saying “thank you, thank you, thank you,” over and over again and riri holds you close, rubbing your back and kissing you when your lips finally meet. she holds you there, a long, deep kiss, and you smile into it, holding on to her like she’s the only think that matters. you pull away, sighing, “i love you,” you whisper against her nose and she whispers it right back, looking deep into your eyes.

you’ve packed nearly everything you could think of, sunscreen, toothpaste, your hair products… you’re fumbling through your bad at the air port, checking one last time and riri comes back with your sandwhiches laughing. “babe, you’ve got it all, we checked like four times, it’s alright,” she says exasperated. you sigh out a laugh as she sits down, “i know, you’re right, okay. i’ll stop, which ones yours?” and she hands you your food and you both sit in comfortable silence.

you smile to yourself as the time passes, riri on her phone watching some show she’s tried to rope you into and you listening to music, head on her shoulder as you wait for your flight to board. you still couldn’t fathom that riri had done all this just for you, just so you could stop worrying and finally relaxing.

you sigh to yourself and glance at her slightly, her eyebrows down as her murder mystery plays. you chuckle and she looks at you, “what?” she says smirking, and you giggle, “no, nothing your show watching face is just so cute, you look so serious,” and she shoves you a bit, “man, look, i’m trying to figure who murder angela! and they keep talking about stupid shit, like i can’t, even the deceive is pissing me of like—,” and she’s rambling again, already eager to talk to you about her show, and you’ve heard a million times but it still makes you smile.

you feel your phone buzz in your pocket though, before riri can get too deep in it, and your heart sinks a bit. riri notices, “how many times is that today?” she says quietly, focusing all her attention on you now. you sigh once the call drops, “15,” whispering it out like it’s a secret. riri exhales right behind you, “fucking shit, that’s insane,” and you nod, leaning back into her shoulder. she wraps an arm around you, kissing your forehead lightly, “when we land you gonna turn your phone off?” she suggested still quiet, and you chew on your lip thinking. she had asked you beforehand, during your packing and you gave her an uneasy shrug.

“what if it’s an emergency? what if she needs me?” you said sadly, fulling sitting down and riri almost rolled her eyes at you, “baby, look at me, if it was an emergency there’s something called voicemail. and who cares?! she treated you like shit!” and you sigh,

“i know, it’s just,” you fold another pair of pants, “she’s my mom, i guess,” you whisper and riri walks over to you, titling your head up, “i know, mami, but look at how much this stresses you out. i just want you happy, baby, in anyway possible. so just, think about it okay?” and you nod and riri kisses you slowly, hands on your waist to pull you closer.

you put your hand in hers, sighing, “i might. i think i will,” you say quietly and she nods, licking her lips to hide her smile. you chuckle to yourself because you see it, she’s so obvious, and suddenly your flight number is up on the screen, the now boarding sign making you and riri jump up and collect your things, shoving a few more pieces of sandwich in your mouths. the plane boards quickly, everyone just like you and riri, rushing to get somewhere else for spring break. you sit once you’ve past all the security and riri, being the sweet girlfriend she is, gives you the window seat. you smile at her, a silent thank you, as the plane begins to take off.

riri’s checked every bed, bathroom, and beyond once you guys arrive to make sure everything is clean and ready to be used. you had gone to the master bedroom and god, it was gorgeous; long wall sized windows against the side that opened to a gorgeous balcony right above a small pool downstairs. the bed itself was huge, you and riri so used to the twin xl’s MIT provided had you both geeked. you’re on the balcony, breathing in and sighing once you hear the all clear from riri downstairs.

“so after we get all unpacked you wanna head to the beach, relax a bit before the sun sets, yeah?” she says behind you and turn to her, soft smile on your lips. she’s already changed, some shorts (god, look at her thighs) and a crop top, already changed for the warmer weather of south carolina. she smiles back at you when she sees you, “what?” her mouth quirking up to the sides, like she already knows and it’s likely she does.

you walk slowly to her, smiling and biting your lip, before you wrap your arms around her neck and pull her close, “thank you baby,” you whisper lowly and she gets the hint and smiles a bit harder too, leaning in with a, “youre welcome, my love,” whispered back before your mouth is finally on hers.

it starts slow, both you and riri just happy to feel each other and finally having some time outside of school to be in each other presence. you’ve already cut your phone off, riri almost begging you to once the plane lands and you do, agreeing you two should just spend some time together. she’s rubbing up and down your back, lightly groping your ass and you sigh against her mouth, enjoying the foreplay.

you feel riri start to lead you both back inside, walking backwards as you follow, your tongue melting against hers. she whines a bit, pulling away, “all of our stuff is downstairs, shit,” and you sigh, “you want me to get it?” and riri looks in your eyes, shaking her head, “no i can get it, you stay here and look pretty,” she says, all too close to your mouth, before she walks off, slapping your ass slightly earning a small yell of surprise from you.

you roll your eyes once she’s downstairs and sought after the bed, sighing and laying down once you hit the plush covers. riri was right for making you turn off your phone, you decide, your brain was clear and you heart was full; now all you thought about was making love with your girlfriend over and over and over again.

when she finally comes back, she had her boxers on and the small black bag from your luggage full of your sex toys. you sit up, leaning all your weight in your forearms and lowering your eyes. riri smiles a bit and walks towards you, finally on top of you again, setting the bag on your side and rubbing up your thighs under your dress, kissing you deeply. you moan slightly, moving your head in tandem with hers and she moves your dress up to your stomach, reveling your already soaking underwear.

you sigh into her mouth and she pulls away with a drag of your lip, “what do you want, mami? can you ask me?” she whispers agains your lips, hands right before your clothed clit and you whine, your mind fogged, “god, fuck me, riri, please, i need it,” you moan back against her and she smiles again, kissing you briefly before heading back to your neck, kissing you there and slowly taking off your underwear.

you whine and sigh, impatient, and riri grounds your thighs with her hands, “it’s alright baby, i got you.” and toss your head back once she finally adds some pressure to your clit, it’s cute but it’s not enough, “cmon riri, please… please, more, i— i need it—” you whine back desperately and riri sits up and nods, a quick “yeah okay, baby,” and finally moves your thighs around so she can twist your underwear off and you moan once the chilled air hits your lips and riri practically licks her at the sight of you: dress pulled up and pussy wet and pulsing. you feel yourself heat up under her gaze and it makes you try to cover yourself, “cmon, baby, hurry..” you emphasize and riri nearly scoffs.

“we got three weeks together baby, imma take my time with you, okay?” and she says it like she doesn’t care if you object. you moan, frustrated, but you feel her kiss at your thighs and it makes you sigh out in relief to some degree. she finally gets to your pussy and you feel her breathe and your thighs twitch.

“you have such a pretty pussy, mami, have i ever told you that? so fucking beautiful,” and you groan, closing your eyes at the praise and move your pussy closer to her mouth and riri laughs cruelly, “not yet baby, let me look at you,” she whispers and she takes two fingers to pull your lips apart, your entrance pulsing lowly and you jump, sighing and whining. “so wet for me, love, fuck,” she whispers lowly, moving in and kissing your clit; you moan at the suddenly contact, legs shaking a bit under her hand.

riri moans against you, pulling away slightly, “and you always taste so fucking good for me, baby,” and you moan once her whole mouth nearly swallows your clit, riri sucking heavily against you now, and you buck, your thighs threatening to close around her head as you moan out.

“unghhhfffffuuccckkk, ri, baby, right there, right thereeee—!” you squirm against her, riri’s hands holding your legs apart as her mouth works on you, sucking gently and soothing over your thighs, a silent “go ahead and let it out,” you’ve come to realize. and you always do, cursing, moaning, yelling, whatever you can as riri’s tongue opens you up.

your orgasm approaches fast— of course it does with all her teasing— and you sigh, moans changing in pitch as you thrust up in her mouth, whining out, “i’m cumming, god fuck, i’m cumming, baby, please don’t stop— FUCK, fuck, i’m cumming—!” and you feel riri nod against your clit. you yell out as you feel your orgasm trickle through your entire body, clit swelling and pulsing under her tongue as she eases you through it, hands soothing over your thighs as she continues to suck, gentler this time, until she hears you whine high pitched and overstimulated and riri pulls away, chin sticky and huffing.

you sigh once you see her, setting up in your elbows and coaxing her to come forward and riri does, climbing over your body and kissing her deeply, sighing into your mouth as you do too, tasting yourself on her lips. you pull her down completely, arms wrapped around her feeling all her weight on yours.

riri pulls away first, “i really wanna fuck you, baby,” and you giggle, spreading your legs a bit, “well then go ahead,” you tease at her and she laughs too, moving back to where she was, sitting up and toying with your pussy slightly, fingering you slowly, trying to open you and you gasp, still reeling from your last orgasm and she soothes over your thigh, shushing you, “so good, baby, just take it okay?” and you nod, feeling her fingers move in and out of you curling up occasionally to hit your g-spot.

you moan, “i’m — haa, i’m ready baby, please, cmon, ri please—” and riri nods, probably feeling more anxious than you and adjusts the strap against her boxers, taking her fingers out momentarily to grab the lube, lathering herself up and beginning to move against you. you sigh, ready and eager, and you feel her.

your eyes roll back and close as a low moan leaves you, her strap sliding inside you with ease and you feel your head toss back as riri comes forward, and she lets out her own, “fuck,” watching her enter you slowly, your pussy filling out as she reaches the hilt, her lower stomach right against yours, your clit brushing up against her boxers. you whine out once riri bottoms out, holding on her forearms and pulling her down for a kiss.

riri gives you no time to adjust after she feels you whine in her mouth and grind against her, she pulls out slowly and thrusts back in, the skin on skin contact echoing around the room. you disconnect your lips to moan, yelling out curses as she fucks into you. the strap on she’s using you can tell is the newer one; just a bit bigger with rubbed edges to make you feel everything. you’ve only used it maybe twice but, fuck, it’s becoming your favorite. you sigh out as riri leans down and attacks your neck, moving her hands against your breasts.

you gasp, “ohhhh, right there baby, pleaseeee fuck me fuck me right there—!” riri finally changes her angle and fucks deep on your g-spot, thrusts becoming sloppy once she hears how close you are. riri’s dick was always able to drive you over the edge even when you’ve just reached it. you toss your head back but riri says it before you can, still keeping her harsh pace, “gonna cum baby? yeah? ask me mami, ask me,” she grunts out and you claw at the sheets, pussy twitching and full of her dick.

“fuck— haaaffffuccccckk, riri baby, ri please please, PLEASE ughhh let me cum please, i’m so— i’m so close—!” and riri nods, your moans always driving her closer to her own orgasm, you’ve discovered. you feel her thighs shake a bit against yours and you moan once she nods, adding some pressure on your clit, “cum for me mami, let me see it, go ahead,” you sigh out a “thank you,” mumbling praises and such as you feel your pussy squeeze around riri, pulsing and twitching as your head tosses back and you feel your orgasm string though you, your whole body glowing.

riri’s right behind you, clit rubbing against the softness of her boxers being paired with your moans enough to drive her over. she curses lowly, still thrusting some like she’s trying to push her orgasm inside of you and the thought makes you twitch in excitement once your pussy finally calms down. riri sighs out and pulls out slowly, collecting her breath as you do the same. she gently falls next to you and you rub against her cheek with your hand, smiling. she smiles back at you, holding your hand in hers.

you close your eyes, slightly, sighing before you hear riri say, “one more?” and you gasp at her and shove her a bit, laughing and giggling, “sure, sure, cmon,” and she’s smiling once more when you open your eyes and leans over to kiss you. riri’s infamous “one more?” usually meant all night.

you both maneuver in a way that results in you on top of riri, sliding down slowly on her dick and you both sigh, riri watching you intensely and holding your dress up so she can get the full view, “you’re so pretty, baby,” she whispers kissing your knuckles. you’re holding on to her hands to ground yourself, body still quivering from your orgasm and you whine once your completely full again, the dildo rubbing against your walls.

riri thrusts up slightly, asking quietly, “you okay?” and you nod your head, eyes still shut trying to adjust. she sits up properly and captures your mouth, holding on to your back and you wrap your arms around her. she kisses you deeply, slowly thrusting and moving inside you and you gasp lowly against her mouth.

it’s a slow pace, mostly just because you want to feel each other and riri keeps it up until you start to get impatient, rutting against her more aggressively to get some stimulation on your clit. you sigh out once she takes the hint and lays you both down, thrusting up into and still leaving your mouth connected. you moan, separating for a bit, “ohhh, ri, love you—” you slut a bit, pushing back down on her in tandem with her thrusts. she whispers it back, dazed and sighing a bit, thrusts getting sloppier as both of your orgasms approached once more. “i’m— unnnhhhh in cumming baby, i feel it, ohhh ri— fuck, fuck—!” and you feel your orgasm ripple through you again, your brain buzzing lowly and your thighs flexing and twitching against hers. riri cums not a moment later, holding on to your back and moaning lowly in your chin, making you sigh and rub her arms as she pulses in her boxers.

you both fall over now, sighing and collecting yourselves. riri rubs all over your body and kisses your shoulders. you giggle, “i know you said you wanted go to the beach but i literally cannot move,” and she laughs behind you, “me neither, let’s go to bed,” and you laugh as she turns both of you over, slipping out of you and gathering all the toys together and putting them in the sink. you don’t miss how her legs wobble a bit. you joke, “you alright there?”

she’s faced away from you but her middle finger comes up, “fuck you,” she jokes right back and you laugh a bit, fixing your dress and sitting up properly, “you just did, babe, let’s get some rest please,”

and she comes back, different shirt on, still flicking you off. you sigh once she lays down, gathering you up in her arms, your dress now off leaving you in your undershirt. you sigh against her chest as she turns on the tv for some background noise, “i love you, you know that?” you whisper slightly and riri nods, “of course you do, i just got done fucking your brains out so yeah i hope you love me,” she jokes and you hit her chest lightly “oh whatever,” you say but you’re smiling, eyes shutting slightly as you relax in her arms. she whispers a soft, “goodnight,” into your scalp and sleep washes over you, you too content to fight it anymore.

riri takes you on a shopping spree the next afternoon after some quick shower sex. it ends with you steaming and jelly legged and riri walks out wobbling a bit too and you both laugh. the shower itself was huge enough for you both and then some, and you both felt refreshed and relaxed once more.

you wear a simple one piece, the florals of the romper coloring your skin nicely. a gold set matches your dress, one riri had bought for you for your birthday. riri wears another crop top and a small skirt, hugging everything just right and you can’t help but smack her ass once she walks by to get her hair clips. she slaps your hand away laughing out, “exactly why i never wear this shit,” but you know she likes the attention.

you both leave after a small quick breakfast, walking out in the sun and holding hands. you’re right on the boardwalk, thanks to riri’s haggling of her creation, and it’s between a museum, an aquarium, and some shopping centers. you’re already excited, phone still off and head still feeling clear, and you don’t even have to ask riri to follow you into some stores.

you shop for a bit, trying things on with riri and making her try some things on with you. she leaves the boutique with a nice new suit and you a new romper like you don’t already have 6, which is what riri says.

when you’re back on the boardwalk, you make simple conversation, holding bags and walking to the next boutique, “i think we should go shoe shopping next, yeah?” you suggest and riri perks up, her not-so-secret interest was shoes and she smiles a bit, the quirks of her mouth tilting, much like it does when she’s shying up, “yeah, that’s cool,” she plays it off but you smile anyways.

you smile a bit, really enjoying the moment until—

“y/n? holy shit is that really you?”

your stomach turns. it really couldn’t be, there’s no way. riri turns before you do, eyebrows down, making eye contact with a young girl, maybe a couple of years older than you, before turning you, “uh, who is that?”

you eyes feel wet, “girl, you really not gon say hi to your sister?!” riri gapes at you and you turn around before she can say anything more, “charmaine, hey girl!” you laugh out awkwardly and your sister smiles a bit harder, rings blinging in the sun and teeth nearly blinding you. she comes towards you and opens her arms, hugging her with your bags in hand.

“girllll, it’s been so long!! where you been?” fuck, you wanted to leave, but you laugh away your tears as she pulls away to look at you. “oh yknow, still MIT, remember?”

charmaine smacks her lips, “oh yeah, i remember that, you thought you was all that getting into that school, huh? didn’t tell nobody nothing!” you feel the heat in your stomach grow, you did tell them, you had told everyone and they acted like you were supposed to stay home and refused to help you and didn’t bat an eye when your mama kicked you out and— “yeah, i guess i just wanted to keep it to myself,” you mutter and charmaine laughs again, pulling out her phone.

riri’s watching you intensely, mostly because she knows you’re lying, she’s heard this story before— you wanted so badly for your family to be proud of you, and when the time came for affirmative action and you got into MIT early they had cast you out like they couldn’t fathom you leaving let alone so far away.

“and who is this? mama was talking about you being with somebody, but i ain’t know she meant a girl,” charmaine says the last part like it physically pains her to get it out, and you feel it all over again, everything you wanted to avoid, your memories flood back— thanksgiving, your senior year, charmaine telling you to suck it up and stop crying when your mama would yell and embarrass you every year—

“yeah, well, fuck you too,” riri mumbles only for you to hear, folding her arms. “my name is riri, and i think that’s our que to leave,” and she offers her hand to you and you stiffen, ready to go but hear charmaine’s voice, “oh my god, you’re really a dyke? like for real, holy shit no wonder you never call anybody,” charmaine doesn’t even pay attention to what riri had even said and you chuckle eyes still wet and heart still beating and she scoffs, “girl if you gon be smart be smart to my face, stop saying shit under your breath,”

“why are you here, charmaine?” you finally ask, looking up, tears spilling and you catch riri look at you for a second but your sister doesn’t miss a beat, “girl it’s spring break, you’re not the only one in school, yknow. i know you think you hot shit but i got classes and all that bullshit too,” and she’s already getting offensive, much like she always was, you’d ask a simple question and she’d treat it like an interrogation.

“okay, you’re right; it is spring break. but you’re here. the beach, of all places. and you hate the beach, remember? for my birthday all i wanted was to go to the beach and we left four days early because mama believed you when you lied about being allergic to fucking sand,” your voice is raising now, all the bottled feelings coming up in your throat and you feel riri put her hand in your back but it doesn’t settle you, “yeah, well that was forever ago—”

you cut her off, “and yet here you are, faux sand allergy and all, the day after i haven’t returned any of mamas calls, a week after you had texted me that you was really disappointed in the way i was acting, right? so, you, my sister who i havent seen in nearly five years with a hatred of the beach so big she ruined my birthday, are here, on the fucking beach. so i ask, why?”

charmaine opens her mouth to speak but you can’t stop whatever train your on, “why are you here when you told me that no one would ever love me? when mama kicked me out five years ago and you threw my stuff out with her? why are you here when last year you told me you were ‘proud to be an only child’? why the fuck are you here when i’m finally fucking happy and forgetting about the fucking shitty family i came from?!” you finally yell, a couple of onlookers walking by and staring but you don’t care, all the shyness you had felt are replaced by white hot rage, the feeling deep inside your stomach like a pit that’s been sat for too long.

charmaine sighs a bit, clearly not going to give you the answer you were looking for, and says, “mama was worried,” you laugh, a deep, cruel laugh that even shocks you a bit. “yeah if she was so fucking worried, she wouldn’t have kicked me out two fucking months before i started classes.” you spit out harshly and she’s about to retort but you remember what riri had told you, and get it out before she can stop you, “tell mama, if she calls me again, i’m calling the police for harassment. and if she ever sends you to follow me again, i’m reporting you both for stalking,”

you hear riri stifle a bit of a laugh, and charmaine is about to speak, but youre turning away before she can, picking up some of the bags your dropped and letting out a deep breath, riri coming to your side immediately. “are you okay?” she whispers as you both walk away and you feel everything you had been holding back in your throat once again, wet, hot tears burn at your eyes and you shake your head “no,” you whisper out and she nods, holding you close and walking away faster, trying to find a bench for something for you to sit on.

your mind is racing, heart still beating out of your chest and once your sat you sigh and riri stands up, wrapping her arms around your head and you rest your face in her stomach, sobbing quietly. you can hear riri, she’s whispering everything you need to hear, much like she always does, and it has you smiling despite your face wet and eyes still leaking. you were just happy to be alone with her again.

she pulls you back after a second, making you look into her eyes and she smiles, “you cried all your makeup off, oh no,” she says and you laugh a bit, “yeah and i got it all over your crop top, so, we’re even,” you say, sighing and wiping your face. riri chuckles again and sits next you, both of you facing the river banks outstretched on top of the sunset.

riri breaks the silent moment, “you okay?” she whispers once again, and you sigh, leaning back and settling into her shoulder, “yeah, i’m okay. i’m sorry i never told you about her,” you whisper the last part.

riri scoffs a bit, “i totally get why you didn’t, she fucking sucks,” and you laugh a bit again, sniffling some. riri speaks again, “no but seriously. you don’t have to tell me about your family if you don’t want to. every detail and like, who wronged you how, if you want me to know i’m here to listen but if you wanna forget and start over? i’m here for that too,” she whispers the last part, a sweet secret she wants you and you alone to know. you smile, face heating, even at your most honest, heartfelt moments riri could still make you shy up and blush like a little girl.

you sigh again, “i hate that she was here, but… i don’t want to talk about it anymore. i just wanna spend the rest of my break with you,” you say looking at her and she looks at you again, tilting your head with her fingers, leaning in, “me too,” she whispers back, closing the space between you.

riri fucks you deep and slow that night. she runs you a bath and you wear a silk nightgown to bed just to pull it over and nearly devour you like she hasn’t had you before. and you know why— riri takes the ability to put your mind on something else incredibly seriously like it’s her second job. and you love her for it.

“unnmmfffuckkkk—!” you’re gasping out, the third orgasm you’ve had racking through you as her left hand works on your clit and she fucks you from behind, a position you’d never admit to her was your favorite. she nods, hearing you completely fall apart, kissing your shoulder blades as you moan out, sighing when you feel your pussy squirt out a bit, legs clamping and thighs flexing. you sign once it’s done and done, falling on your forearms and gasping to catch your breath. she leans down against you totally now, kissing you all over.

she whispers against your skin, “you wanna go again?” and sigh and nod, and riri pulls out, a slick wet noise escaping you and she taps your thighs asking you to turn over. you sigh, moving on your back and she’s on top of you once more, capturing your mouth and rubbing over your breasts and your stomach. you feel her start to slide against you, the strap already covered in your cum and it makes you moan against her mouth.

she finally pushes inside again, startling you a bit and you whimper, feeling her again. riri moves away from your mouth, kissing your cheeks and ears as her thrusts start, whispering lowly in your ear, “i love you, baby,” and it makes your body nearly glow, you sigh out and claw at her back, the whisper in her voice enough to be stimulating. “riri, fuck— haaaa—”

and riri keeps talking, strap kissing your g-spot as her thrust grow faster and harsher, “you’re so perfect, mami, you know that? so good for me, i’m so happy you’re mine, my love,” and you can hear it all over your entire body it seems, your head is spinning and your legs feel locked under hers but your orgasm is approaching and you can feel it, whimpering and tossing your head back, claws deep into riri’s back, “i’m— fuck, riri, i’m cumming, i feel it, ohhh i’m cumming—! please, please baby,—!” and you don’t know what you’re begging for, her pace doesn’t slow and she doesn’t relent, kissing you and holding you open and your orgasm pulls through your body, your pussy clenching around her dick and your clit twitching once more, you moan unabashedly, tears spilling a bit as riri kisses and praises you through it.

you buck against her once you’re done, sighing as riri’s assault finally stops. she pulls out and lays next to you, sighing as you catch your breath again. you laugh a bit once you’re back to earth, “i’m sorry i know you wanted to go look at shoes, but i cannot move again,” you laugh out and she smiles and waves you off, “we’ll go tomorrow yeah? got three whole weeks remember?”

and you smile, three weeks and a lot more, you think and reply, “yeah, we do,” too happy beyond your own comprehension.

i changed my name just for this story ; i am now riri’s femme lesbian wife i love her sm i can’t deal with it

sorry if the homophobia and lesbianaphobia got a little too intense but i needed some angst because then we get protective and sweet riri and i fucking love it sm

anyways i’m in class again you guys so bear with me!! i promise i’m still writing but they got me in three studio courses back to back like all fucking week so just give me some time!!

i hope y’all have a good one byeeee🫡🤎

[only-angel-28]

mastermind, part ten

(guys i just realised i’ve had this thing marinating in my drafts for like a day i swear i posted it omg i’m so sorry anyways💀💀💀)

i go back to school on monday im literally gonna cry i cant do this any more like💀💀

anyways i just kind of wanted to say that bc its literally depressing me now but heres part ten of mastermind😍🙌🙌

i hope you guys enjoy it and i kinda hate the ending but i have too man things ti revise for in school so…

anyways love you guys😘😘😘

warnings: kinda gruesome in the beginning (like a tiny bit) and hurt/comfort but i think thats it!!

masterlist

theodore nott masterlist

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

His hands are frantic inside the sheets, trying to find your body. The damp hair falling into his eyes makes it difficult to see and his labored breathing isn’t helping either.

He sits up after feeling the cold side of the bed and shoves his hair back. His nightmares have only gotten worse the closer to Voldemort you get, memories from his father, leaving you, from the manor and fears of losing you plagued his mind every day. You were normally the only one to drag him from this kind of torture, keeping him close to your chest and speaking soothing phrases into his hair as your fingertips traced their own tattoos on his skin. But ever since he left that night he hasn’t felt that warmth and any progress you two had made in helping him get better was quickly washed away. Sometimes he’d be so distracted from the horrors he’d still think you were there; however even when his eyes adjust to the moonlit room you’re still nowhere to be seen, the spot on the bed empty and cold.

He throws off the blankets and grabs his wand on the desk next to the bed, frantic. He shakes the thoughts from his head. This was exactly like his nightmare, he’d awoken to discover you missing from his bed, only to find your bloody body laying on another bed.

He doesn’t even bother calling for help, his focus is on finding you, and quick.

The tent is eerily quiet tonight…or was it early morning? He couldn’t tell. He has a death grip on his wand, clenching so tightly that his knuckles turn white. He goes down the stairs, the cool air of the house causing the hair on his neck to stand and his fear grow. He tries to calm down, assume with a clean mind how and where to find you, but the nightmare was too vibrant, everytime he’d closed his eyes to try to take a chilled breath all he noticed turned into your lifeless eyes.

He can hear the crackling of the fire in the living room when he reaches the lowest of the steps, the warm light drawing him closer.

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding while he sees you curled up on the massive sofa under a warm blanket with a book in your hands. You look up on the sound, alarmed, but your eyes quickly soften once they see Theo.

He watches your eyes go from adoring to confused when you notice the wand in his hand, pointing straight at you. 

Something’s wrong. You can immediately tell by his stance, rigid and stiff, not like he always is when hes just woken up, all soft and cuddly. His hair is a mess and from where you’re sitting across the room you can see his chest heaving.

“Theo?” your stomach drops. What’s going on? Was someone hurt? You quickly throw the blanket off, ready to rush over to him when his shoulders drop with relief. He tosses the wand to the armchair next to him as he stalks forward quickly.

You walk toward him as he comes in contact with you, holding you tightly, engulfing you into him as he kisses the top of your head and buries his head in your neck. You can feel his heart racing a million miles an hour as he breathes in deep, trying to calm down before his breathing got worse.

You tuck him into yourself, dropping the book you were reading to the floor beside you as your hand immediately finds his back, beginning your path, soothing circles into the firm muscle, the other carding through his wet and tangled hair. He pulls away for a second, eyes erratically scanning over you like they’re checking for wounds. And maybe they are, maybe he just needs to know that you are unharmed and in one piece, unlike whatever he had witnessed in his sleep.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You murmur when his heart rate has slowed down. His grip on you is still tight, clinging to you. If there was something wrong with Harry, Hermione or Ron or an attack on your tent he would’ve said already. You hadn’t completely forgiven Theo for that night but your heart still pangs with guilt for not being there for him when he tore himself from the nightmare, that while he was in pain, you were sitting here reading comfortably.

He shakes his head. Maybe not now, but tomorrow, when it’s not as fresh he’ll let you know what transpired in his terror, what shook him to his very core.

“It burns,” he says, pointing to his mark. You move your hands from their place on his back and trace the skin around the mark, providing relief that courses through his body.

For now though, on the comfortable sofa in the sitting room, he nestled closer to you, letting your hands soothe him back into a peaceful slumber.

For the first time in months, Theodore Nott had finally found comfort being back in your arms.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

The next day, Hermione and Ron had made milkshakes, chocolate and strawberry. They had also made a massive mess in the kitchen with their incessant arguments.

These were the only times you’d get to enjoy some times with your friends, you’d discover.

You sat on the kitchen counter next to Theo as he made burgers and fries for the two of you, the other three had left after finishing their milkshakes to talk to Mr. Lovegood.

“No add extra cheese on mine, it’ll taste good.” You added from your place up high, sipping the shake as Theo nods and says,

“Yes ma’am,”

Before walking over to the fridge to get extra cheese slices out to put in your burger.

“Do you think things would’ve been different if we hadn’t had this whole war?” You speak up, inturrepting the music in the background.

“In what sense?” Theo asks, plating the food.

“Like…do you think we would’ve still like…” you stall trying to find the polite words as Theo raises his eyebrows, looking confused.

“Hooked up, there I said it.” You say rolling your eyes at his laughter over your choice of words.

“Oh my gosh baby,” He says between laughs as you eventually join in, “Yes! Of course we would’ve. What, do you think it took a war for me to come back to you? I would’ve come anyway, there’s no way I’m letting you go like that. Wouldn’t have left anyways. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you but you’re it for me Y/n. You’re it.”

His watercolour eyes stare deeply into yours as he comes closer, the food and laughter long forgotten as you engulf him in a hug as he apologies again for leaving. His apologies are unending, as are your kisses on his neck in final acceptance.

After what feels like hours, you two finally break away from the hold as Theo brings the plates to the living room where you’ve already set up a movie and picked a place on the sofa.

You both lay next on opposite sides of the sofa, watching the movie as you eat, legs tangled together in comfort as you warm up your body with his.

“Can I have a taste of your burger?” You ask after a few minutes.

He nods and leans over and helps you take a bite of his food, he watches as your eyes light up and you smile at him sheepishly. He rolls his eyes with a grin before trading your plate with his.

“Thanks Teddy, yours tastes a million times better!” You give him a kiss on the cheek as he trades the plates and return to your movie, completely missing the adoration in Theo’s eyes at the nickname.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

It’s a few hours after and you are now comfortably napping in Theo’s arms as the movie plays in the background.

Harry, Hermione and Ron had returned ages ago but thought it’d be best to give you two some time alone.

As always, your comfort is cut short when you hear Hermione’s shrill scream, awaking you with a jolt, doing the same to Theo as he instinctively tightens his grip around you.

“What’s going on?” He asks as Ron runs in, the two of you quickly standing and grabbing your wands, “They’re back. The Snatchers are back, run!” Ron shouts as the three of you run out to help Hermione.

But she’s long gone. As is Harry.

“Ron! Theo!” You shout in panic, turning to your left to find Ron gone as well, only deepening your fear.

You shoot spells at the Snatchers until you hear, “Crucio!” from your right.

Everything’s moving too quickly and you barley have any time to react before something, or rather someone pushes you to the ground.

As you get up off the autumn leaves, wand ready to shoot at anyone in sight you see all the Snatchers disapparating. You shift your eyes down to the ground to see who had saved you from the unforgivable curse.

A sharp gasp escapes your lips as you quickly stumble to his place on the grounds, shaking and thrashing around in pain, trying to console it best he could as he claws his mark in agony and soft, painful whimpers escape his pink lips.

“No no no no no, Theo what have you done?” You whisper, straddling him and holding his face in your hands to try lessen the pain as tears escape your eyes.

“Shh, it's okay, it's okay Theo, they’re gone now, you’ll be fine.” You try comfort him, bringing his head into your chest, remembering that providing comfort is the only way to ease the cruciatus curse.

His breathing calms down after a while as you try and shield him from the cold air fluttering around you as you both cry into each others arms. Theo pulls away, staring into your eyes with his ever-captivating ones and says determinedly, “I’m not losing you. Not like this, not now, not ever. Never again, you hear me? I’ve already lost you once and I’ll be damned if I ever let you get hurt or lose you again. God baby, I just got you back I can’t let go of you now.”

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

part ten done! lmk what you think and maybe repost if you want to it really helps🤡🫶🏽🫶🏽

taglist: @timmytime17 @cherry-hoe @jetblackpayne @ash-tarte @coolestgirlhere @ama1a2 @kezibear @randomgurl2326

[julia-bonkers]

my day 😄😄😄😄😄😄

cw i talk about vomit and there ARE gross details bc i am an oversharer!! so do not read this if u hate that kinda thing🙏🏼

so i get on the bus. and because of my amazing (awful) night last night i start to feel motion sick (which isnt normal for me btw.. i like never get motion sick, i can do anything in a car no problem) and then i get nauseous. very bad news when you are trapped in a vehicle, yes? yes. all i had for breakfast was a banana and like i reallllyyy didnt wanna vomit it up bc i didnt wanna be hungry. and i especially didnt wanna vomit it up ON THE BUS!!!! so i try and try and try to concentrate on literally anything else but i cannot for the life of me think of anything other than the insanely shitty state that my body is in rn. eventually like right when the bus starts pulling into the school (because thats the kind of luck i have) i end up throwing up but i hold it in my mouth and force myself to swallow it back down. and then the same thing happens again. and again. and again. and i throw up and reswallow a chewed up stomach acid soaked banana like ten times. and some of it COMES OUT OF MY NOSE. MY THROAT SND NOSTRILS WERE BURNING SO BAD LIKE UOU DO NOTTTTT UNDERSTSND.

fun fact about me I have actually thrown up on the bus before (like january actually lol) but it def wasnt as bad bc it was at the end of the day and i threw up into my water bottle.

so you can imagine that after that incident im kinda just in the mood to chill out and do my work quietly. i mean my head, nose, throat, legs, etc are KILLING me and i am burning up! lucky for me, my school has an hour long pep rally planned first thing in the morning. i get to listen to the band play four different times, four different songs sung by kids (very adorable but also very LOUD!!), an off-key recorder performance, several speeches… it just never ends yk.

what is my life. like seriously. this has got to be an original experience.

anyways im doing better- on the bus back home (hooray!!! finally!!!) i have a chemistry project due at midnight that i doubt im going to be able to finish (not hooray…!). i am still very grossed out thinking about the bus incident though. the texture of that banana vomit is something i wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy!!!!!!!!!

cannot wait to walk a mile to my house. 😞 (i am being sarcastic i most certainly CAN wait!!!)

[akiitos]

Hellohello i am bak again, the anon who requested the cat request (koko and the reader sleeping tgt and the pjsekai boys walk in on the two) btw uh ty for doing my request i rlly like it! (Especially the rui one NC OH MY GOD)

Anywaus!

How would the pjsekai boys (separately) react to like koko biting the readers hand and then just licking their hand after (or the other way around, koko biting readers s/o and then licking their hand) bc she deadass just did that to me💀

Also, if possible, could I be either 🐱 anon or "koko anon" (if you do word anon thingies!)

Ok, thats all now! Byebye! <3

a/n: hii! and AW IM GLAD U DID:) sorry for how long this took lmaoo i have had no motivation.. and yes u can be koko anon! please enjoy, koko anon!

pjsk males x gn!reader

@ akito shinonome

- you have some balls as a cat if you wanna bite akitos hand... ngl

- he literally almost yelps but catches himself. be prepared to hear him yell your name and scream for you to get him a bandaid

- "THAT DAMN CAT BIT ME! CANT YOU BELIEVE-" and then the cat licks his hand. he's confused

- he doesn't know if the cat even likes him or hates him atp. mixed signals..

- almost started crying

@ toya aoyagi

- he loves your cat, he really does! but getting bit by a cat really isn't fun at all..

- you and toya were hanging out in your room as he was reading a book when suddenly the cat bites his hand.

- HE LITERALLY STIFFENS UP AND GRUNTS

- he tries to shake the cat off- until the cat starts licking his hand. he just sighs and watches as the cat licks the bite

- doesn't tell you about it unless you ask why theres a bite mark on his hand

@ rui kamishiro

- you were at ruis house and decided to bring your cat over as he worked on some props for upcoming shows

- you can hear the nuts and bolts clinking when suddenly they stop and you hear ruis screwdriver fall down

- THEN YOU SEE YOUR CAT BITING HIS HAND. (u probably saw his eyes water /hj)

- as you're about to pull koko away you see koko licking his hand. "what the.. does this cat like me or dislike me?"

- he then scavengers around for a bandaid.

@ tsukasa tenma

- okay so. tsukasa was petting koko right.. when suddenly koko literally bit his hand

- this dude deadass screamed and started bawling. "[NAME]! [NAME]! YOU-YOUR CAT!!!!"

- when koko starts licking his hand he feels like he will literally cry even more.

- as he puts on his bandaid he still pets koko as if nothing had happened??? what.

- probably got bit twice LMAOOO

[akkivee]

mentally ill about stage mtr if i’m being quite honest lol:

*collapses to my knees* AYUKAWA TAIYOU I KNOW YOU CANT HEAR ME AND WOULDNT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND ME IF YOU COULD BUT I NEED YOU TO KNOW I WOULD D—

*crying* LIKE PLS THIS MANS DANCING BRINGS ME TO LITERAL TEARS

IF YOU LOOKED UP ON MEME DICTIONARIES UNDER ‘HAVE YOU SEEN A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL YOU STARTED CRYING’ AYUKAWA TAIYOUS JAKURAI WOULD BE PICTURED

I QUITE LITERALLY DOWNLOADED BLENDER ON MY LAPTOP TO LEARN HOW TO 3D MODEL HE HAD ME DOWN SO BAD AFTER WATCHING HIM PERFORM BLAST WOLF FOR THE FIRST TIME

I CANT BELIEVE THE STAGE TOOK HIS JAKURAI AWAY FROM HIM AND FROM US HE HELD IT TOGETHER BUT MANS WAS PRACTICALLY CRYING AT THE FINAL BOP2023 PERFORMANCE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—

god like…………………………. this is some of the hardest loss i’ve been struggling to process i can’t imagine anyone else playing such a flawless 2.5D sensei other than ayukawa-san 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

he and hayami-san had the time of their lives making dad jokes in front of thousands lol during their cross talk and i’ll never forget the slight awe he had when hayami-san made a pun using his name lol

it was a sun = taiyou kinda joke iirc and i feel like he did use it further down the line 😭😭😭😭

UGH ugh uuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh god the stage mtr scene i never stop thinking about was their rep live skit, the last one i think????? where dohifu got into hijinks trying to stop sensei from doing his job bc they were worried he’d consumed alcohol via treats hifumi brought

they wound up circling him and then lifting him off the ground in a very strange but hilarious sequence of events and jakurai laughingly told them it’d been a very long time since he’d been carried in any sort of fashion and he thanked them for bringing fun into his life EXCEPT!!!!!! ITS AN AD-LIB AND IM CERTAIN THAT WAS AYUKAWA-SAN TOUCHED BY HOW MUCH FUN HE WAS HAVING WITH THEM I HATE IT HERE

i can’t remember which day of bop2023 it was but in that mad scramble of wardrobe changes he accidentally had a button left undone on his tdd jakurai shirt and i know how that sounds that i noticed it but the way he smoothly buttoned it as he descended stairs is even more seared into my brain lmao

ayukawa-san is buff as hell lmao the ease at which he carried ramuda during king of kings was immaculate lmao and i’m not strong enough to pretend like i didn’t imagine a gym bros hitojaku au based on how swole they are lmao

he breached the 190cm mark in height and the way he reacts to others reacting to his height cracks me up lmao throwback to that one time he walked in to record bright and dark i think and one of the staff just blurted out, ‘you’re huge!!!!!’ and ayukawa-san responded, ‘i sure am!!!!! 😃’ LOL

in the interest of talking about the other actors i’m cutting myself off but i’m not joking when i say i hate here pls i always quote this but hayami-san was so right when he said the stage actors can’t just be easily replaced, they are the characters for a lot of people too 😭😭😭😭

hirofumi-san’s hifumi was peak host ngl lol

the bat and mtr actors got along insanely well after their play and the way hirono-san and ide-san bullied hirofumi-san only for it to just like, bounce off the man bc he was that self assured and a diva is so funny lmao but that’s exactly why his host hifumi was flawless lol

not that his hifumin wasn’t fun either!!!!!!! stage hifumin doesn’t get to be as silly as his canon counterpart so i can’t blame hirofumi-san for that lol

but his switch from hifumin to host is so insane like i don’t have words to describe how it rotted my brain tbh lmao

so like, i definitely mourned kodai-san’s doppo when he left the role but ik it was bc i liked how obvious he played doppo’s crush on jakurai LOL

ide takuya had me by the balls the moment i saw him tho but we’ll get back to that in a sec lol i still weep over the puppy dog eyes kodai-san always gave sensei lol

throwback to that time he asked sensei to pump his stomach (iirc) and was very disappointed when jakurai shot him down before he could finish the sentence LOL

vocally, i like his doppo a smidge 🤏 better like his screaming hits different than ide-san’s and i do find myself missing it sometimes listening to stage mtr’s older songs lol

but enough about him let’s talk about idedoppo LOL

i’m not kidding when i say i stanned from the the moment i saw him but i am uniquely weak to long haired punks you can’t put him in front of me and expect me to not accept him immediately LOL

he goes so crazy as dopopoppo too THAT FINAL BOP2023 WHERE HE RAN YARDS TO DEFEND HIFUMI????? HE HAD THE CROWD YELLING DURING HIS SOLO IN MTRS REP LIVE????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

him messing with hirofumi-san for not being able to do finger choreography and hirofumi-san tickled by being messed with 🥺🥺🥺

(hirofumi-san very much could do the finger choreography when it mattered btw lmao)

AND THE SONG HE MADE UNDER HIS OWN NAME DEDICATED TO DOHIFU?????????? AND HAD HIROFUMI-SAN GUEST STAR IN THE MV?????? PLS THEY LOVED MTR I HATE IT HERE

[angelhummel]

okay so in honor of pride month, i have something i wanna get off my chest for real. sorry if this is super long

I have a tendency to go outside of tumblr spaces when looking at glee content — something i frequently regret. but in my time in those spaces, i often the most delusional take ever. it is basically, “kurt was always kinda pushy towards finn. so did he actually DESERVE to be called a slur??? 🤔🤔🤔 let’s discuss.” this shit boils my blood to no end and while it’s obvious why, i feel the incessant need to defend my boy kurt at all costs.

for one, he wasn’t any more pushy than any other character in the show. i mean for god’s sake, rachel quite literally THREW herself at finn as early as the first episode and i guess that’s fine??? what kurt did was virtually no different bc all the characters do weird, out of pocket shit throughout the show. it really only bothered finn bc kurt is a boy and finn is OVERLY bothered by the prospect of a boy having a crush on him. (more specifically that its kurt — he just simply dislikes kurt being attracted potentially straight guys. thats why he took so much issue to kurt singing with sam. it’s always been about his personal issues with kurt)

moving on to the actual scene in question, so much of what flop accused kurt of was grossly unfair to him. like he says something along the lines of “im scared to even take a shower when youre around,” implying that kurt is some ‘predatory gay’. which is ironic, bc we learn from kurt himself that he never showered after gym JUST to avoid be labelled as something like that. at no point did kurt’s advances move towards remotely ANYTHING sexual in nature, finn just instead assumed that of him

finally, i do believe that flop WANTED to call kurt a slur. he knew that kurt wouldnt call him out for it and you can tell from his tone that that had been building up inside of him for awhile. he wanted something that would push kurt away/scare him. he just went for the cruelest method possible in the moment.

so all this was to basically say that flop hudson sucks and that kurt did not deserve any of the shit that he endured. he was pretty much taught by his peers that it is inappropriate and unacceptable for him to have the same wants and desires that literally any teenager would have simply bc he was gay.

thank you for tuning into my rant. this has been stewing for awhile lmao

lmao yesterday i saw a gifset where cory as finn was doing some good fun acting and i stared at him for like a minute going "if i focus on the cory of it all, can i trick myself into liking finn even a little bit?"

the answer was already no, but if it hadn't been, this ask wouldve set me straight. thank you <3

i've definitely talked about that before tho bc omg. finn has the nerve to call anyone else pushy. i know its not like it'd happened in the show already but. this is the boy setting up a whole kissing booth to manipulate quinn into kissing him aksljfsdlk. or the way he got drunk at the wedding reception in s4 and was hounding rachel. that literally gives me the heebie jeebies lmao sorry to be dramatic about it but i hate it

and god yeah it just breaks my heart bc we know that kurt is always walking on eggshells around these people anyway. and literally 2x04 has become one of my least favorite episodes bc of how hard it is to watch as a kurt stan lmao. sorry it has like two iconic songs but finchel are so fucking manipulative and awful and i've had several rants about this episode before aljsfdlks but basically boils down to them literally making kurt feel like he's committing a crime by asking sam to sing a duet with him and isolating him to an unhealthy degree

and then wanna act all :O four eps later when kurt is like "im getting tf out of here to go to school with people who are nice to me" aslkfdslfjsd

anyway literally just search "2x04 anti finn" on my blog and you will find more posts than you would ever care to read lmao

[de-constructmybones]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

Tagged by: @mmoosen, @ksbbb, @disasterpenguin, @thiamsxbitch, @chasing-chimeras & @outcastpack. Thank you lovelies <3

Are you named after anyone? Not that I know of, I'm just my own person.

When was the last time you cried? Yesterday because my therapist canceled my appointment and then was late with calling me, so I had bottled everything up for another week and when I opened up it overwhelmed me. (Now she me got an extra appointment while she actually on vacation but she knows when I cry it's bad.)

Do you have any kids? Do my cats count? Because if so I have two.

What sports do you play/have you played? Waterpolo, football (soccer), is being a life guard a sport bc you need to train an awful lot and I didn't get paid.

Do you use sarcasm? I speak sarcasm fluently as my second language.

What's the first thing you notice about people? Their vibe, I immediately notice if we match or not and if we don't I can't function around you doesn't matter how hard I try. Also their eyebrows and nose.

Eye color? Grey

Scary movie or happy endings? Both? Horror is so good but I don't like feeling horrible at the end so let them get out alive in the end.

Any talents? Apparently art and being self conscious.

Where were you born? The Netherlands, living below sea level is a normal day here.

What are your hobbies? Drawing, reading, writing, playing sims and making up large elaborate plots for them that take literally forever to realize, demanding attention from @transdunbar and watching bees roam around.

Do you have any pets? A calico cat named Yasmin that keeps me awake every night, a black cat named Vodka that loved to walk on a leash and a budgie named Sky that hates everyone.

How tall are you? 5'6 (I can fight Dylan Sprayberry, we're the same height)

Favorite subject in school? Art, history and for some time social studies.

Dream job? Independent artist with my own studio, just drawing whatever I want and selling the pieces for so much money I can live of it. God. That would be amazing.

No pressure tags: @transdunbar &lt;3 @theoceanismyinkwell @hemlocksandfoxgloves @bendystrah @equallyloyalandlethal @idkthisusernameistken @th30ra3k3n @wolfboy88 @emostudent @guakamole @phantomraeken @bethannangel @thiamblogger @slice-of-magenta @junejuly