#i have a few recordings of me playing lamb game but i only started doing so late for this game once the fixation was truly hitting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeyabyss · 3 years

Text

Mc falling asleep next to them

Lucifer:

he had been working nonstop for hours now and the pile of yet to be read and signed documents wasn't getting any smaller

you had been sitting in his study silently working on your own assignments, that was until you've finished them about an hour ago

pacing his room in boredom and looking at the stuff he keeps in his closets (mostly books, records and demonus)

"Could you stop wandering around, you're irritating me!" Lucifer is stressed, annoyed, etc and your sighs, constant footsteps and opening and closing of closet doors, didn't help him to concentrate

you could have left the room and found something else to do, but you were determined to spend some time with him, as the evening work hours are quite literally the only hours where you can be alone with him

so instead you seeked permission for putting on a record to have at least some entertainment, which was both a good and a bad choice at the same time

yes you had something to enjoy and relax to, but the relaxing part worked a little bit too well

after a good ten minutes you were sleeping peacefully, stretched out all over his sofa with no care in the world

"I'm going to take a small break and get some coffee. Do you want something as well?" Lucifer asked only to be met with silence, which he didn't appreciate

he was about scold you for being rude, when his gaze fell on your sleeping form and the words seemed stuck in his throat

how could you sleep so peacefully right next to one of the strongest demons of hell, he honestly didn't know if he was pleased you found comfort in his presence or if he should be annoyed that you don't take him serious enough

nonetheless you seemed to have a good sleep and as this is often near impossible in the House of Lamentation, he decided to let you sleep

he got himself his coffee and once back in his study he moved his workplace to the small coffee table and took a seat next to you on the sofa

he adjusted your form so you weren't hanging half of the edge and put his coat over your sleeping form for some warmth

"Foolish little lamb, letting your guard down in a house of wolves, good thing I'm here to protect you..."

Mammon:

"And then I, the Great Mammon, made an action movie worthy escape and totally didn't run away in a panic, because Lucifer was chasing me..."

he had been telling you how exactly he got into the situation of hanging from the ceiling once again, as you've tried as careful as possible to cut him free, which was harder then expected with the way he kept moving around

once finally free, he dropped onto the ground, whining about the rope burns he got basically all over his body, though demons heal quicker, it still wasn't a nice feeling

with a sigh you offered him your hand and pulled him up and away to your room to give him some of the salve Satan had made you the last time you had accidentally cut yourself while cooking

you sat a flustered Mammon onto your bed while you went ahead and searched through your bathroom cabinets that were filled with products Asmo had gifted you, when you finally found it you asked Mammon to hold still while you put some salve onto his burned skin

"W-what?! N-no way! I don't need your help, I can do that on my own!" and with that Mammon stormed away with your salve and locked himself into your bathroom

you knew better then to argue at this point, Mammon would do what Mammon wants to do...until he fails and seeks protection behind your back...

be it because he is embarrassed, doesn't know how to open the salve tube, or because there were so many rope burns...but Mammon took quite long to apply the crème, leaving you to wait for him for at least half an hour now

helping out Mammon can become quite tiring, not that you mind helping him or don't like being around him, but a nap sounds nice right now

and so you lay down in your bed, it is after all your room, and just because Mammon is currently camping out in your bathroom, doesn't mean that you can't take a nap

Mammon comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later, he probably needed a few more minutes to build up courage to face and thank you, but he is met with the sight of you sleeping on your bed

Mammons brain is working overdrive, trying to figure out if he should leave the room quietly, wake you up or stay and watch over you...then again he doesn't want to be seen as a creep by you, but he can't deny that he would like to stay with you

he carefully climbs into bed and pushes you a bit further in so you sleep on the wall side and don't fall off in case you move, it takes five more minutes until Mammon risks putting his arm around you all while holding his breath in anticipation of your rejection, when none comes he settles a little closer to you and falls asleep as well

"Don't worry my human, the Great Mammon is gonna keep you warm and protected in your sleep!"

Bonus: even though you two fall asleep next to each other with only Mammons arm wrapped around you, expect him to wake up on top of you holding you like your his pillow

Leviathan:

it was 5am and Levi and you were currently waiting in line in front of a shop to get your hands on a new limited edition Ruri-Chan figurine

surprisingly enough even though you turned up quite early, there were a good amount of people in front of you

the shop would only open a 9am so you still had a long time to queue in the coldness of the devildom morning

"Ah that is not fair! We planned everything so carefully, it was the perfect timing, why aren't we first in line?" Levi complained while standing on his tiptoes to be able to see and count the demons in front of him, coming to the conclusion that if everyone were to buy one figurine he'd still be able to buy one for himself...and whatever you might want

you weren't the happiest when he told you about his plan a few weeks prior and getting woken up this early you might have been a little slower than usual in getting yourself ready, now that you were here you couldn't help but feel a little guilty

you tried to cheer Levi up with the argument that if you were longer in line that also meant you could spend more time together, which resulted in Levi turning into a blushing but happy mess

you put down the blanket you've brought and made yourself comfortable on it, Levi joining you but looking a bit stiff from the closeness

you ate a breakfast consisting out of sandwiches made with whatever was left after Beels midnight snack, which wasn't much but better than nothing

afterwards as there was still a lot of time to pass you started to play some games on his Switch, trying to stay awake

the emphasis lies on 'trying', because after 2 hours or so you start to fall asleep, eyelids and limbs heavy, you don't have the energy left in you to fight the sleep and so you nod off, your head falling onto Levis shoulder who had been inching closer over the period of time...to be able to better see the Switch display not to be closer to you...

Levi.exe has stopped working

there he sits red as a tomato with Mc sleeping on his shoulder, the queue in front of him starts to pack up and move as the shop gets ready to open up, his Switch display is showing the game over screen, his mind feels fogged over and he has no idea how to react now

Mc just fell asleep and Levi feels guilty to wake them...but they have to move...

"H-hey Mc? T-the line i-is moving? Wake up....please..." his attempts are way to quiet for you to hear and even as he gently shakes your shoulder you do not wake, leaving Levi quiet in a dilemma

"N-no other choice..." he says as he packs up the stuff alone, leaving only you sitting on the cold floor...he can't just leave you here..

Levi turns into his demon form, his hands shaking and eyes flitting across your from and over the crowd of other demons, before he carefully lifts you into his arm, his tail wrapping around you as well for more stabilization, so he has one hand free to carry his shopping bag later

he never bought something faster than that day, he got his figurine and even bought you some anime merch he knew you had stated to like, all while feeling like he was running the worst fever of his life and receiving stares, giggles and smug smiles from way too may people, that was enough attention for at least a century for Levi...but he did like holding you in his arms

"This is not fair! I have to deal with all the embarrassment while you sleep...but I guess it's okay if it's for you..."

Satan:

Satans last anger fit had caused way more damage than usually, it had taken place in the library when Mammon had tried to steal a very rare book about spells, to sell it after he found out how rare it actually is...now that lead to Satan throwing down and emptying almost all bookshelves and kicking Mammon through the room

While Mammon was strung upside down from the ceiling, Satan was forced to clean up the library alone, but you had pity on him as there were quite a lot to clean up, if Lucifer doesn't find out you helped there will be no consequences

Satans opinion about you helping was split, first of all he was really thankful for the help even though he was at fault for the chaos, having to clean up all alone was a bit much, but on second thought Satan was worried that you tried to go against Lucifers orders, he's proud of you for defying his eldest brother but also feels like it's a stupid idea

but you have made your mind up and so while Satan repairs and stands up the shelves, you begin to put the books in, you might not know the exact way they stood like Satan, but for now getting them off the floor is the priority

there aren't many words spoken as you silently work away, only once in a while you point out a book which got a bit more damage, the cover hanging off loosely or a few pages ripped out, you two decide depending on the damage if it can be fixed or not

every now and then Satan asks you to hold a piece of a shelf together while he fixes it, he is surprisingly fast and knows exactly how to repair it...just as if he had to do it more than once in a while...

"Oh Mc? Can you give me the screwdriver? No no that one, the one with the cross head is what I need..." you had no idea there were so many different tools, and wouldn't be the slotted one sufficient if you just angled it right? Satan just laughs and let's you try it for yourself, only for you to fail, he then shows you how to do it correctly guiding you through fixing your first shelf

"The last shelf is standing again, I'll help you with the book now." Satan pointed out, a small ray of hope now that only the books were left, you didn't reply, which honestly wasn't really necessary, but a small affirming noise would have been nice, so Satan tries to keep the 'conversation' going, while he works on the books with his back turned to you

"...you're still ignoring me? Are you angry at me for making such a mess? You know you didn't have to help...you can go, no need to act like all high and mighty!" he was getting angry again, yes he did make a mess, but he didn't do anything to you! Had he? He couldn't remember, but humans might interpret actions and words differently…he didn't want you to be mad at him, and neither did he want to get angry at you, but with you ignoring him it became quite difficult to keep his voice low

having enough and wanting to make up before it gets worse, he makes his way over to you, who was leaning against a shelf with a book in your hand

as he sits down next to you and turns your body to him through a guiding hand on your shoulder, he startles, you fell asleep in a sitting position? That sounds more like something Belphie would do...Isn't that uncomfortable?

You must have been exhausted after filling up three shelves of books and fell asleep midway on your fourth shelf, Satan chuckles amused and relieved you aren't mad at him but simply sleeping

He picks you up and brings you to your room where he lies you down in your bed, covering you with the blanket and hesitantly stroking your hair before going back to cleaning up the library

"Thank you for being so patient with me and helping me! You can rest now and I'll make it up to you later!"

Bonus: he will most definitely take you out on a date of your choice, even if he doesn't enjoy the idea as much as you

Asmodeus:

Asmo had taken you out shopping, as he claimed his wardrobe was not having the right clothes anymore so he had to get new ones fast

he had dragged you through town for the whole day and you two only returned home late in the afternoon, you completely exhausted and ready to drop in your bed, while Asmo while being slightly tired, still insisted on putting on all the clothes and showing them off to you and his followers on Devilgram

he entrusted you with his D.D.D to take some nice amazing shots of him to gain even more followers, though that seemed impossible as it already felt as if the whole population of hell was already subscribed to his account

but as long as all you had to do was hold the D.D.D up and click the screen for a picture, you were fine, you sat down on Asmos bed trying not to disturb the bags of clothes that lay there as well

Asmos screen lit up nearly every few seconds with a new message, how did this man not get crazy with all the message?! And he must check them all, because whenever you write him, he is on and writing back instantly...maybe you should steal his D.D.D from time to time to get him away from it...

While Asmo was changing into new clothes in the bathroom, you could hear him humming a happy tune, clearly in his element and enjoying his time, which made you happy as well, but the exhaustion was still plaguing you and the bed felt unbelievably comfy and on top of that the humming of Asmo was slowly lulling you into sleep

"Oooh Mc~ I especially like this top! Just look how nicely it fits, it shows of my best parts, which are all of me haha...hey Mc?~ Look at me!" Asmo pouted as you stayed put on his bed, and climbed over your form, already expecting you to start pushing him off, only to get concerned when you don't

then he sees your eyes are closed and you seem to be peacefully asleep, he instantly coos at your sweet sleeping expression, the back of his hand caresses you cheeks softly, but you don't react much besides moving a bit into am ore comfy position

Asmo backs off and begins to put down his bags, then he tucks you under his covers and climbs right in with you, pulling you close so that you lie on his chest, his arms encircling you to keep you put

the pictures for Devilgram are forgotten for now, they're not running away anyway, you two can continue another time, but for a beauty nap sounds good

"Oh Mc! You look so cute when you're sleeping...next time tell me you need a break, I'm happy to cuddle you while you're recovering!"

Beelzebub:

you had decided to stay a bit longer at RAD today, because you still had something to discuss with one of the teacher, as well as doing some research for an essay that was due next week

most of the brothers had already left for home or different work related activities, except Beel who had Fangol practice today after school, and as you were not allowed to walk around the Devildom without someone accompanying you for protection, all that was left for you was to wait for Beel to finish his practice, which usually took place for about two hours

you sat down on one of the benches at the side of the field, waving to Beel so he knew you where you were and could keep an eye on you

you worked away on your homework and checked you D.D.D from time to time replying to all the messages you got

the practice seemed to be still not finished even after two hours had passed and you were getting a bit tired from sitting around, but you also couldn't just wander off, Beel might start worry...plus the risk of running into a less friendly demon was still a thing

so you shifted from one position into another not really being able to get comfortable on the hard wooden bench

the ground seemed to be comfier with every minute passing, and so you lay down ignoring the weird looks of the team and trainers, you're body simply wasn't made to sit on this bench longer than necessary

"Here you can wrap yourself in this...it's getting cold. Training is almost over, just hold out a few more minutes!" Beel came over and gave you his jacket and you quickly put it on revelling in his warmth

but here is the problem the jacket made you feel so comfortable that you fell asleep, right on the floor next to a few dozen demons

"We're finished! I'm hungry, let's go get something to eat, any wishes what you want?" Beel was packing his stuff and rambling on about how he could eat at least one year worth of food, training having starved him quite a lot

but when you didn't respond he grew worried and kneeled down next to you, gently resting his hand on your side, he simply laughed when he saw you fell asleep, he is used to it due to Belphie, so he carefully picks you up and carries you home, deciding to order food once there

just Beel giving you a piggy back home, softly smiling to himself and being happy you've come to be so at ease around demons..still at bit worried, but he'll protect you, no worries

"I'll stay by your side until you wake up...and then we can eat lots of good food...please just don't sleep too long or I might have to eat before you wake up."

Belphegor:

so there he was, sleeping, on your bed, in your room, without an invitation...and honestly it wasn't even a surprise anymore, coming home after a work shift at Hell's Kitchen and just wanting to sleep, but no there was no space for you on the bed

I have no idea how, but he manages to occupy the whole bed, and hog blanket and pillows to himself as well

if only he was easy to wake, just to tell him to move over, but no he wouldn't wake up unless you pulled the big guns and nobody wants to face the consequences after one dumped water bottle on his head, it would be a hundred times easier and less dangerous to wake Satan

but you were really tired and just wanted to cuddle into your bed, maybe you could maneuver him with a bit strength..actually forget that...you could always call Beel for help to carry him to his own bed, but by the way he was clinging to your blanket and pillows, that would only end in a empty mattress to sleep on and then you would get cold...

honestly it was his own fault at this point you had threatened him to do it, but he had just laughed it off...

and so you climbed into bed and lay down on top of him, wrapping your arms around him so that you would get at least his body warmth if not the blanket

to your surprise he didn't wake up and he was really comfy, his rhythmic breathing was really relaxing and it didn't take you long to fall asleep

after some time Belphie wakes up with you wrapped around him, he quickly realises that you're asleep, but is stunned nonetheless that you would actually have the guts to sleep on top of him with the risk of waking him up in a bad mood

"That's quite bold of you! You didn't think I will let that slip though, right?" he chuckles amused but shifts nonetheless to make room for you, his embrace is tight, and he hopes just a little bit that you wake up, so he can tease you, but you stay asleep looking content with your new position

"I suppose I could go for another nap...now that I have my favourite pillow with me, sleeping will be even better!" he cuddles you, just like the blanket and pillows...which you don't get any of by the way, but you get Belphie so that's even better, he's gonna keep you warm, don't worry

"You're such a odd human...no idea why I like you...anyway just stay here in my arms and sleep!"

Diavolo:

yesterday was amazing, Dia had taken you to a trip in the human world and you had showed him around, visiting as many places as you two could

what you didn't know was that he had actually sneaked out of the castle to spend time with you

well you didn't know until a very angry Barbatos opened a portal right in front of you two and started lecturing Dia for at least one hour

you felt a bit guilty that you were the indirect cause of this and quickly apologised to him promising to make it up

so here you were in Dias office, overseeing him to do his work so he couldn't sneak out again and Barb didn't have to find him

after all if the reason for sneaking out was right in his room then he had no reason to go, besides the intimidating amount of work left on his desk after yesterdays excurse

Dia worked concentrated for most of the time, only now and then staring out of the window or talking to you

"Isn't it boring to watch me work? I can work alone, I promise to run away...or else Barbatos might get a heart attack from shock of seeing me gone again" he chuckled while signing another document

you reassured you didn't mind sitting next to him in silence, you had a good book borrowed from Satan, tea and cookies from Barbatos and you could stare at Diavolo all day long

your last statement made Dia flush red quite quickly and he tried to distract himself with his work, he slouched over in his chair trying to escape your gaze, but you were having none of it

your arms snaked around his waist and your head came to lean on his shoulder, Dia stiffened not sure how to react he liked the feeling of you hugging him, but now he was scared to move too much as not to disturb you or accidentally hit you with his elbow while trying to write

after a few more documents his eyes flit over to your face, cheek squished against his shoulder, eyes closed and breathing calmly

"Mc? Are.. are you sleeping?" he is whispering trying not to be too loud in case you are truly sleeping, and that you are! A soft smile graces his lips, nobody was ever this relaxed around him, he is proud and wants you to stay asleep as long as possible

he keeps working until Barbatos knocks on the door, coming in and announcing to have brought more tea, only to stop when he sees the sight in front him, Mc holding onto Dia, head resting on his shoulder and sleeping, while Dia put his finger to his lips to tell him not to be too loud

you sleep for an hour or so until Dia really has to move, apologising multiple times for having to wake you

"I'm glad you're able to relax around me, please continue to be yourself! My shoulder is always there for you to nap!"

Barbatos:

"You liked the cake that much? I'm flattered! I could teach you how to make it if you'd like?"

you had been over for tea at the castle and the chocolate cake with black-as-hell cherries was the best cake you've ever ate, it was bittersweet in taste not too much sweetness and not too much bitterness, paired with the melting chocolate, you could have eaten the whole cake on your own

you doubt you'd be able to get the same ingredients in the human realm but maybe you could find similar ones, so you were more than willing to learn with Barbatos

and so you arranged to meet the next Sunday afternoon for a baking session

Barb let you into the castle already awaiting you at the door even though you were early

you two worked on the cake, Barb explaining each step carefully, even for the easiest steps he takes his time to explain and help you, being very patient with you no matter how much you screw up

"Next we have to melt the chocolate in a pot. Wait a minute I turn on the stove for you" while you put the chocolate pieces into a pot, Barb moves behind you and turns on the stove, his arms brushing your sides, yet he stays fully focused, what can't be said for you

the cake is put together quickly with you two working together and while it bakes in the oven and the chocolate is meting, you two go ahead and start cutting and coring the rest of the cherries to decorate the cake later

"Here have a taste, they're bitter at first but the aftertaste is nicely sweet!" He holds out a cored cherry for you to taste and eats one himself, smiling gently at you while you sniff at the fruit first, which smells exactly like a normal human world cherry

the only thing left to do is wait for the cake so you two sit down for some tea at a small table in the kitchen, talking about the week, when Diavolo calls for Barb and he quickly excuses himself to help the prince out

the sweet aroma of the baking cake, the warmth of the tea and the very comfy chair you're sitting in, are a dangerous combination making you fall asleep

as Barb returns he sees you with your head lying on your folded arms on the table, clearly asleep, Barb decides to eave you there while cleans the kitchen and checks on the cake half an hour later

"Mc? The cake is ready to be decorated do you want sleep or do you want to help me?" somewhat embarrassed you stand up and help him with the decorations , Barb acts if nothing happened but he can't help but think about your gentle expression while you slept

"Next time I'll let you sleep longer... I wouldn't mind if you visited me for your naps if that meant I could see you more often."

Solomon:

learning magic was many things: exciting, frustrating, dangerous, fun...but sometimes it also was unbelievable boring

like when you think about magic, you think about casting charms, curses, making potions and all that stuff, but nobody told you that beforehand you have to learn everything about the new spell or etc in theory!

so here you were sitting with Solomon as he rambled on about how while the shrinking charm could have really bad side effects if casted wrong, sure it was important to know how to cast it correctly but did you really have to listen on to everything that might go wrong?

listening to all this just make you feel less confident, I mean technically you were practicing with a tea cup to shrink, so shrinking only a part of it wouldn't be too bad of a side effect, but what if you used too much pressure and made the cup explode and you'd hurt Solomon in the process?!

You took a deep breath, which made Solomon stop talking as he looked at you questioningly

"Anything wrong? Already giving up? Is it toom much?" his light teasing was meant to make you relax, but all you could do was give a small, stiff smile, signalling for him to continue and he did, after messing up your hair with his hand giving you a huge grin, but he talked slower now giving you more glances to make sure you were still alright

"How about a small break? I'll make us some tea..." he stood up and made some tea...in a beaker over a Bunsen burner..this weirdo..

the tea didn't taste weird though, it was just normal tea, even though the preparation would have made Barbatos get a stroke

after the break he was back to full tutor mode and your concentration slipped with each new word, until your head falls down, your chin resting on your chest comfortably, you had fallen asleep right before him

Solomon notices instantly that you're asleep and starts laughing so loud that you wake up again, he is crying and gasping for breath at your flustered state and you hit for good measurement on the arm

"Am I that boring? Fine if you're tired you can rest on my bed. I'll read you a bedtime spell book..." he doesn't stop laughing and teases you endlessly, you better be on your toes around him, you won't be hearing the end of this

"Hey sleepyhead? Do you want me to read you into boredom? I won't take pictures of your sleeping and drooling self...No promises made though..."

Simeon:

He was staring blankly at his manuscript, writers block had been plaguing him for quite some while now, but the new chapter had to be sent to the company until next week

you had offered to help him out maybe you could give him some ideas, so he invited you over and let you read the latest chapter so you'd know what had happened

you sat in his room brainstorming ideas on a small extra sheet trying your best to help Simeon out who looked quite lost

"Do you think that would work? Doesn't if feel a bit too rushed? But maybe if we combined these two ideas together..." he seemed to had found something and began to roughly write up a plan for his further writings

he continuously asked you questions about the smallest details, it was kind of cute that he relied so much on you, he probably could have done the rest himself as well, yet he kept involving you into the whole process

while his one hand scribbled like a madman, his other rested on your arm occasionally lightly squeezing it, reminding you that he didn't forget about you

you slowly fell asleep, the sounds of each others breathing, the pen scratching over paper and the ticking of the clock hanging on the wall, the inly sounds to be heard

"What about this part? How do you think it could go from here?...Mc?" he wasted no time in making sure you were lying comfortably, putting his cloak over your form and still squeezing your arm from time to time while he continued to write late into the night

only then did he notice, the brothers might worry about your absence, should he wake and bring you home? or should he let you sleep here and inform Lucifer about your safety? but the sofa you were currently sitting on, would make your back hurt if you continued to sleep here

it took him some time debating with himself, but came to the conclusion to carry you to his bed and tuck you in, giving you a forehead kiss like he was used to with Luke, only to realise what he'd done and quickly scrambling away in embarrassment to give Lucifer a quick call about the situation

"Have sweet dreams my lamb! I'll be guarding you in any realm, even the dream realm!"

Luke:

Luke, Simeon and you were having a small movie evening, watching some old Disney movies

Simeon didn't allow you to watch something else to protect Luke, but you didn't mind too much

you were having some freshly made desserts by Luke who had worked on them the whole day, as he was very excited for your meetup

you watched a few movies, talking, laughing and joking together, just having fun

"Huh? They called the mean cat Lucifer? Hahah how fitting, he kind of even looks like the real Lucifer! Ah, don't tell him that though!" Luke really liked to compare the different characters to the people he knows, but when there actually were a cat called Lucifer he was quite surprised...who would want their cute pet to be called like a demon? Why not call them angel names? Michael is a pretty cool name...

over the time you became more and more tired and Simeon seemed to notice, suggesting on stopping for today and continuing another time, but Luke convinced you two of one more movie

unfortunately you didn't last the final movie and fell asleep cuddled underneath the blanket between Simeon and Luke

Luke took some time to notice, only seeing it when he turned to you wanting to tell you his opinion about the last scene

"Oh! Simeon... Mc fell asleep..." Simeon already knew, as you had fallen onto his shoulder, not that he minded, he just told Luke to stay quiet and watch the rest of the movie

Luke cuddled up to you to keep you warm and occasionally glanced at you to make sure you were okay, and there cuddled next to you he as well fell asleep...trapping Simeon underneath your combined weight, making it impossible for Simeon to get out of the bed, so you three just slept together that night

"Don't worry Mc! I'll keep all demons away from you while you sleep!"

#obey me headcanons #obey me #swd obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me simeon #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me luke #obey me solomon #obey me shall we date #headcanon

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theabominableblogger · 3 years

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"The Legend of Vox Machina" S1E1-3 Reaction

THAT'S RIGHT- IMMA DO THIS

I do wanna get a few things out of the way though: as a "new" Critter, I am actually not that familiar yet with the first campaign. I do know a lot of the major beats for things through the Briarwood Arc (which this first season is covering) and beyond, but episodes 1-24ish I don't know of so please don't spoil that for me in the replies.

For this reaction series, I will be using the hashtag #purvan's reaction post stolen for the ages so if any of you guys want to find more reactions to this specific series, you can click on the tag in my blog.

On with the show!

AN: I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

"The Terror of Tal'Dorei" Part 1

Found out LAST NIGHT [when I recorded this] that Amazon made a big whoops and released the episodes EARLIER than the allotted time slot. I don't if it was a legitimate mistake on their end or an intentional move. Who knows.

Literally wasted time last night watching Matt rage playing Monopoly with Game Grumps and Sam's Battle Royale. Ez cool.

*smiles when Matt begins to narrate about Tal'Dorei*

Is the wizard Liam?

*jaw immediately drops when the group gets instantly killed*

This animation is really good, holy snot!

The Murder-hobos!

"Do not rest until you bring me the greatest band of mercenaries in all of Tal'Dorei!" Ehhh, varying opinion on that...

They even sound drunk, I'll give them credit!

"Are you offering to help?" *shuts down*

The tabaxi meowed!

Wait, we're starting it off like this?!? Oh wow.

*cracks up at Percy not even trying to dodge*

Did he [Vax] just rob them [the other customers]?

*loudly grimaces when Keyleth vomits in the dog-person's mouth, making them vomit*

"Why does this happen every time we go drinking?!?" Wonder why...

TRINKET!

*gasps when Percy's gun misfires*

*full jaw drop when we cut to Scanlan and the naked woman in bed*

"What is that gnome doing with my daughter?" "It's probably best you don't know." *incomprehensible shocked laughter*

"Does that mean... we've been kicked out of every tavern in Emon?" First world problems?

How did they get their name?

"Pike, ethics are a luxury we can't afford." Oh give her some credit!

"Vex and Vax only care about themselves." "Well [expletive] you." *laughs*

Oh my God, they didn't really have to show that [Scanlan peeing]

"What's the matter with you?!?" That's Matt!

Mercenaries... line line line line line REWARD!

*groans and covers screen when Scanlan's pants drop* I'm didn't see that

That is a giant bear

*Grog loudly belches* Euggh, I don't like that

"It's a rather clever play on words-" "Honestly we don't care." *wheezes*

"Allow me to give you a proper introduction." Oh no we're getting a song?

"He's Vax." "She's Vex." *laughs*

*laughs awkwardly as Scanlan starts rapping and mutes it*

AN: I did go back and listen to the entire song. It rocks. I also have the twin part stuck in my head for the past two days.

Why did I get like... vibes of Galavant and "The Morning Report" from The Lion King in that song?

Yes, get the bear, get the bear! I see you, Khary Payton!

"He got his hand cut off in a bar room brawl." "Oh shit." *laughs*

*Vex senses something mentally in the room* What was that? What was thaaat?

The backgrounds look really pretty

Isn't the Shale Steps like three miles away from Emon though? Is it just a power move to use the skyship?

*laughs* She's [Keyleth] just started talking to the tree!

Matt is literally playing every NPC in this show

"Are you a wizard?" Next campaign

*Keyleth and Vax share a look* Oooh... oohh...

These backgrounds are so pretty!

*gaps when the dragon stomps on the lamb in front of them*

*pretty much in shock for the entirety of the dragon fight*

This is awesome!

*Keyleth starts to summon lightning* Oh let's go, let's go girl!

That is a really intimidating design, oh my gosh.

No, the episode can't be over already!

"Grog, you're hurt." "Nah, it's just a flesh wound." *wheezes*

"This is why I hate traveling with holy people." *wheezes again*

Oh, so her ranger ability is a Spider-Sense? That's awesome.

This music is awesome

*Grog picks up Pike and puts her on his shoulders* Aaww

They're not gonna end the episode there. Nuh uh.

*still fangirling about the animation*

*gasps when they find the town in ruins*

*gasps when Vax finds the family they spoke to earlier dead*

"That was... actually well stated, Grog." "What was?" "Nevermind." *laughs*

*gasps* The silver piece!

"The Terror of Tal'Dorei" Part 2

[Nudity, violence, foul language] No way!

I like the different designs for the background tieflings

*jaw drops when the Captain is DISINTEGRATED VIOLENTLY IN FRAME* They didn't need to show that!

That was just the intro?!?

Oh this opening's gorgeous

Let's go!

They're setting up for the Conclave at the end of the season, aren't they? $500 says so.

"Doom? We don't know the meaning of the word!" *chuckles*

Look at them [the guards] loving Trinket!

*laughs when Vax flicks Pike's ear on their way down the stairs*

*smiles when Gilmore enters the scene*

Was that Sprinkle?

"Why if it isn't the mysterious Vax'ildan?" Did they just do the "love interest" panning shot on Vax?

*leans back in my seat as Vax and Gilmore flirt and then CONTINUE* I feel like a fourth wheel!

*wheezes and face plants at Tusk Love*

*laughs at Gilmore's disappointed gasp at the silver pieces*

There's a triceratops skull on the shelf

He [Gilmore] just slaps the page. That's awesome

"If we survive this, I owe you dinner." "You owe me more than that, my handsome half-elf." *leans back in seat again* Yeah like chocolate, about 500 gold.... that ass...

"All right you two, foreplay's over." *laughs*

Is that the same Matt NPC? That poor guy.

*cackles as Grog rolls behind the ale cart* Nat 20 Stealth!

"Dreadful taste in art." Wait they said dragons are egomaniacs and Krieg has a portrait of himself in the staircase. It's literally him. He's the dragon.

*gasps when Sir Fince gets freaking impaled*

Oh, the rug! The rug!

"Look for some kind of fulcrum." "Wait, a [expletive] room." "I mean, that's what I heard." *laughs*

*laughs at Vex being salty at Vax complimenting Keyleth*

"Look, they're in the booty!" *laughs* They're so immature!

"Seems excessive for a council member." "Seems excessive for anyone." Percy, you literally have like a Scrooge McDuck vault! Don't talk to me!

*leans back in shock at the GIANT GREEN EYE looking back at Keyleth* What was that?!?

He [Krieg] is the dragon!

*jaw drops at Krieg transforming into his dragon form* THAT WAS SO BALLER!

"Vax, did Gilmore give you any insight on how to kill this thing or did you two flirt the entire time?!?" "Shit! Right, right, uh..." *laughs*

*Brimscythe wipes out the group* It's an illusion!

*jaw drops at the ominous chanting in the soundtrack*

*giggles at Percy Naruto running*

*Vax running around the falling rocks* Oh, slow-mo! Let's go!

*pretty much silently loses her mind as Grog decides to rage*

*laughs* She's [Vex] stealing an armful of gold!

"We got 'em, kid." Aaww...

Who's on the Council of Tal'Dorei? Who's on the Council?

*chuckles at Keyleth ruining the moment between the twins*

*gasps* The Briarwoods!

OK, Sylas, whatchu got?

Whaaaaaat?

*episode ends* WHA-

"The Feast of Realms"

*gasps when we open with a flashback to the De Rolos*

What's with the dog?!?

You can't just open it like that! Are you kidding me?!? I don't even know if I wanna sit through the opening because I want to get to the opening!

*Establishing shot of Greyskull Keep* Oh that looks so pretty!

*laughs as Grog sneak attacks Vax with ball tag*

*Allura walks into the keep* Oof, this place is a bit of a fixer upper

"You have my word nothing will go wrong." Absolutely everything will go wrong

*Scanlan's codpiece* Why?

*wheezes at Grog and Vax's curtsises*

Matt!

"Ahem!" Scanlan, don't.

"What?!? You wanna get freaky with me?!?" Oh no

*gasps when the Briarwoods are announced*

Why are they giving him [Percy] the anime fish eye lens? I don't like that

*silently and openly ogling Vax in his formal wear good lord here's my money sir*

"The safe word is... chenga." *laughs*

*Percy realizes that they have to sit across the Briarwoods* Oh no

Ohhhh nooo

"Shit's about to get real!" Oh no

OH God... are they just pretending that they don't know each other?

"Percy, I [Grog] say you walk over to the Briarwoods, say hello to break the ice, and then punch them in the face." That works.

Oh God, I wanna see that dinner go down, are you kidding me?

OK, Vax, I see you with the little cow lick. I see you, man.

I wonder if Sylas has been feeding off Desmond.

*gasps when Vax uses his snake belt to distract the guards*

Why is she still wearing her gloves while she's eating? C'mon, Delilah, etiquette!

*gasps when Sylas charms Sovereign Uriel*

Oh mah God!

C'mon, Percy, say something.

"Have we... met before?" Oh no

*gasps when Percy breaks his glass out of anger*

Did they really just make a bead joke? Are you kidding me?

Vax, what are you doing? I do not like this.

"LIARS!" Percy!

Percy, Percy, Percy, Percy!

Oh no... Vax... Vax, get out of there! Vax!

*gasps when Vax finds mention of the Whispered One*

You gotta get outta there!

"Gosh, you're a handsome couple.." *wheezes with laughter*

*jaw drops when Sylas charms Vax*

"I'll distract them. You go." Scanlan, I do not trust anything- no

*jaw dropped for pretty much the remaining 7 minutes of the episode*

*laughs when Grog hurls NPC Matt out of the weapons closet*

C'mon, Vax!

"Would you look at that, dear?" LINE! PER! LINE!

I forgot about Craven Edge!

"Thanks, Pike!" Radiant weapon!

*Allura facepalms at Scanlan's song* Same!

*Percy goes after Desmond* Oh no, ohhhhh!

*pretty much in shock for the entire Orthax smoke sequence*

"You fool. Now your soul is forfeit." Oh my God, stop, stop!

NO! No, no no no... NO! YOU CANNOT END IT THERE! NO!

#purvan's reaction post stolen for the ages #the blogger reacts #the legend of vox machina #q post #tlovm spoilers #IT HAS BEGIN #as i told my sister- i think i now have a crush on vax

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catsvrsdogscatswin · 2 years

Text

Hellsing Commentary 2 Notes

This commentary is done by Taliesin Jaffe, the voice director and script adapter of Hellsing, Patrick Seitz, the voice of Luke Valentine, and Josh Phillips, the voice of Jan Valentine. Direct quotes may vary in accuracy, as these are written down from audio without transcripts. I also didn't write down every joke or piece of trivia because I feel like people who watch the commentaries should get to have some nice surprises for stuff that isn't covered here.

-Taliesin says that they take their cues from Dracula.

-According to Taliesin, on the day they recorded Alucard's flashback the VA that played Helsing "shows up to the door in a trench coat, bringing storm weather with him, and says 'Hello.' (Thick Dutch accent) and I was like 'Ah, Von Helsing!'"

-Someone sent Taliesin a box of cigars from Integra's brand at one point and he "went through them very fast, they're very nice."

-Like Crispin, Patrick would also listen to Integra's VA read the telephone book.

-Taliesin had to pull Mike McFarland to help him write "some truly vile things" for the Valentine brothers (mostly Jan.)

-Josh and Taliesin were both "groggy" (tongue-in-cheek 'hungover') the first day they came in to do the series together.

-Hellsing was only the third or fourth thing Patrick had worked on, so while coming back for Ultimate he got nervous about matching his prior performance, during his first tenure he was inexperienced enough to be like "So I talk after the beeps? Is that what- huh?"

-Josh and Patrick were the first choices for their roles and there "wasn't even a question" to Taliesin as for who would play the Valentine brothers.

-Taliesin's favorite line of Jan's speech prior to entering the Hellsing estate was cut due to not having enough time. After stating "I mean, what the fuck?" he was supposed to add "What do you do for a living with that thing!?"

-When working with Luke Valentine/Patrick, Taliesin says that the main fight was "Making sure you sounded like a cheap imitation and knockoff of Crispin without actually sounding like a cheap imitation and knockoff of Crispin."

-Patrick says "When my friends find out I was in this, they're always like 'Oh, you're like, a Valentine brother? Are you the one that swears!?' No. 'Oh. Oh…well, that's still cool.' Without fail!"

-Taliesin jokes that "When you're in doubt and you need Englishmen, you go to the video game Medal of Honor and you start taking all of their actors, is the trick."

-There was a lot of talk about Jan's Konami joke, because according to Taliesin the Japanese thought it never quite came off for them. They had a long talk about "Are people gonna get this?" but eventually decided to leave it in.

-They rewrote Jan's loudspeaker speech the same day they recorded it.

-The one that took the most time for recording OVA 2 was Walter's VA.

-Josh plays guitar and sings in his own band. At least at the time of the commentary, he shows up in LA "every once in a while."

-In regard to how Luke massacred the Hellsing soldiers, Patrick was deeply excited about how in Ultimate "I'm not just showing up and talking the big talk and then getting my ass beat down, I get to have some coolness first." One of Luke's moves while killing the Hellsing soldiers is also a reference to Fist of the North Star.

-According to an offhand comment by Taliesin, Jan wears a Nike jumpsuit.

-Josh apparently has lip piercings and Taliesin disparagingly jokes about how "It's the thirty minutes we have to wait for you to take out your hardware." while doing voiceacting. Patrick gleefully adds "It’s like a damn windchime, Jesus!" Josh comments a few minutes later that "You could actually play Mary had a Little Lamb on these two."

-The going-around-the-table-with-exhale reactions are "one of the things that drive me a little crazy about this job" for Taliesin, "'cause it works in Japanese, but you look at it and go 'How on earth am I going to make this work in English?!'"

-Both Taliesin and Josh comment on how Seras does not match her VA at all, calling Katie Grey this "serene, quiet...sweetheart" and a "peaceful little flower girl." She also sings and records her own "folky, girl-with-a-guitar" music.

-Taliesin has gotten to play with a monocle before and "you don't have to squeeze your eyebrow down as hard as you think."

-Josh comments that Crispin "gets to be a lot more insane in this one. Like, when this fight really gets going he's like, freaky."

-Taliesin is an H.P. Lovecraft fan.

-They had a tough time casting Walter, but eventually settled on a "Roddy McDowall" voice, because Taliesin likes "the sound of an old person who never really got very good at it."

-According to Taliesin, there is a common misnomer in Japanese that English is a faster language, which has made him come to believe that the Japanese put extra lip flaps into the show to make it easier for the dubbers. He actually wrote to them at one point with "Please, stop! Less animation, for the love of god!"

-Taliesin is annoyed about Luke Valentine getting so many shots out of what seems to be a small flintlock gun, pointing out that there's nowhere to actually fit the bullets in the gun. Patrick jokingly replies "I've got mind bullets!" They continue ragging on this for several minutes.

Taliesin: "But seriously, I see a lock, I see a stock, I see a barrel, I don't know where the bullets go, because that's a musket."

Patrick: "They go into Alucard."

Taliesin: "So why don't you just come in there with a matchlock, why don't you, like a little piece of burnt rope in your hand going 'Wait wait wait, just have to light the match here, hold on.'"

-There were "like 19 different things" written for Jan's line after he busts into the Round Table Conference, including "Shit," and "Hi."

-Because Crispin/Alucard's starting point is "a lot more chilled-out now," Taliesin got to build his levels of crazy, "same as Anderson," who's no longer "just crazy." Patrick comments at this point that he enjoyed Anderson during the original TV series, but likes him even more in Ultimate.

-The sound(s) for Alucard's hellhounds are made with "a layer of Crispin going 'AGHBLAGRAHH,' Crispin doing Tasmanian Devil," and an underlying high-end of "crying awful babies" that were reversed, chopped up, etc.

-Taliesin jokingly likens the moment to where Alucard finds out Luke isn't on his level as "it’s like suddenly finding your date won't put out." Patrick adds "He seems so let down: 'I thought you were different, different than the others,'" and Taliesin agrees, saying that that was exactly what they were going for.

-Patrick comments that they got Luke's death scene "in less screams than I thought, I thought I was gonna be shrieking all the way."

-"AND THOSE LAST SEVEN BULLETS THAT YOU WERE KEEPING IN YOUR FLINTLOCK!"

-The snarling/berserk "batshit crazy" version of Seras is what got Katie Grey the part back when she was cast, before Taliesin got the scripts or had even seen the anime. OVA 2 also happens to be the "last place of safety, casting-wise" for Taliesin, since starting on OVA 3 he has to start casting again.

-According to Taliesin, the Darby Bible is the bible to use when quoting.

-At the time of recording the commentary on OVA 2, Taliesin was working on getting contacts in Germany to make sure the German/Austrian/Dutch accents are correct. When casting, he also runs his ideas by Japan and "-they'll either say 'That's- that's nice,' at which point I know I have to think more on that because they're not happy, or they go 'Ooh, that's really cool,' and then, you know, you've done it."

#Hellsing #alucard (hellsing)#Jan Valentine #Luke Valentine #Seras Victoria

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thepixelelf · 4 years

Text

the recovery files - scb

intro.txt / hanjisung.mp3 / kimseungmin.mp3 / hwanghyunjin.mp3 / leefelix.mp3 / yangjeongin.mp3 / leeminho.mp3 / now playing: seochangbin.mp3 / bangchan.mp3

Hi there.

You know, it’s funny. Just a second ago, Chan asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, and I was like, “of course.”

But now… it’s kind of nerve racking being on the business side of the microphone. My heart’s beating all crazy and I don’t even know why.

I guess I’m just bad at this kind of thing… talking it out, you know?

…

This is part of that study Chan’s doing for his psychology thesis — the one I told you about, remember? I wasn’t originally gonna be a part of it, but after watching all the others, I thought it might be nice to record my own.

I mean, there are definitely things I never said to you that I should have.

…

Gosh, it’s weird talking to you like this. A lot of the others, it sounded like they were leaving a last message, or that they weren’t even in touch with their exes anymore, but you just sent me a meme, like… five minutes ago?

I’ve seen that one before. Still made me laugh, though.

Anyways, I wanted to record this to tell you a few things.

I know I could just say it to you in person, but it’s hard.

It’s been — what? — a year and a half since we broke up? And I still haven’t said it. Really said it, I mean.

But then I watched Jisung as he recorded one of these. Yeah, he did one too; he was more of a sacrificial lamb than a volunteer, though.

He seemed… a lot better, afterwards. He kept looking at his phone, at his ex’s number. We’ve seen him do that a lot, but now, it’s different. The look in his eyes isn’t hateful anymore. I can’t be sure what it is.

More at peace, kind of.

And I want that.

For you. For me.

I know we’re still good friends now, and honestly, you’re probably my best friend — sorry Jisung.

Oh yeah, um… Chan and Jisung are listening, by the way. In case that weirds you out. I guess you can’t do anything about it, though… nevermind.

Anyways, you’re my best friend, so I feel like I have to tell you.

I’m sorry.

…

That word sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? I know I’ve technically said the word “sorry” plenty of times since we broke up, but this time, it means so much more than that.

I’m the reason we broke up.

I know that now.

…

When it happened, I blamed you a lot. You were the one that said it first, and I think that made me feel… I don’t know… like I lost? Game over.

And I hated that feeling. I hated it so much that I made myself think you were some villain, that you were this monster that wanted to rip my heart out and eat it right in front of me.

Sorry, that was a bit graphic.

I just… when you said, “let’s end this,” I didn’t know what to do. I felt so helpless.

Lost.

Because I was already lost for so long.

I… I yelled so much, and I called you — god, I feel awful just thinking about it — I called you all these horrible names. I accused you of things I knew weren’t true.

Honestly, I don’t know how you ever forgave me. If it was the other way around… I don’t think I could’ve done the same.

…

I did say sorry a lot after that, when I calmed down a few days after. I said sorry, but I don’t think that was enough because I didn’t really mean it the way I do now.

When I said it then, it was because I knew what I’d said was hurtful. I knew that my anger had driven you to cry, and I felt bad. But now…

I know better.

…

And I say better not because I was wrong before, but because I know more now. I didn’t just say hurtful things because you wanted to break up, I said them because of my internal struggle.

There was a word I thought fit it pretty well. What was it…

Turmoil?

Yeah. It was turmoil.

…

I… was the reason you wanted to break up.

My feelings for you were starting to fade, and you were the only one who noticed.

…

Sometimes I wonder what tipped you off.

There were moments I only realized were signs once I looked back.

Maybe it was the distant looks; the daydreaming. Maybe it was the way I wouldn’t squeeze back when you held my hand.

Maybe it was when I stopped writing love songs.

I can’t believe I didn’t notice that.

…

Sorry for the time you spent in doubt. I can’t be sure how long it must have been, but… there was a span of time where I said “I love you” and didn’t mean it. And I think, for a while, you knew.

It must’ve hurt, huh?

Sorry.

I’m sorry.

…

Saying all that stuff to you, thinking about it now — it makes me so mad at myself.

You wanted to end things for me.

Because you knew I was stepping back. You knew I was fading out.

And you knew I was too stubborn to realize it.

…

Truth is… I was too scared to do anything about what I felt. I didn’t realize it back then, of course, but I figured it out, eventually.

I didn’t want to break up with you because, at that point, I didn’t know what I would do after.

It was like you were all I had in my life, and I didn’t want to think about what would happen once it was over.

And… I think I hated myself for falling out of love.

I didn’t want to be the bad guy.

...Nobody wants to, I guess.

I was so scared of hurting your feelings by saying I wanted to break up, that I hurt you even worse by pretending.

So I’m sorry.

…

You saved me from that. From being in turmoil as long as I was stubborn enough to ignore it.

So, I guess, maybe a thank you is in order more than an apology.

Thank you.

And sorry.

And thank you.

…

I know I sound really sappy right now. You’ll probably laugh at me when you get this, but I don’t regret saying it.

Once you finish listening, call me, okay?

I’ll say it all again — in person.

And, I don’t know. Maybe we’ll laugh about it together.

…

See you soon.

#stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #changbin x reader #seo changbin x reader #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #.100

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dcviated · 3 years

Text

Tag ten followers you want to get to know better

name: Bear/Will

star sign: aquarius I have never bothered to look into what the others are nor what they mean

height: 6′-3″

middle name ?: Brady. After my uncle.

put your itunes / spotify on shuffle. what are the first 6 songs that popped up?

Gates of the Moon - Soken

Opacus - Arkasia

River of Time - Ayreon

The Noetic - BT

First to Love - Blaqk Audio

Mulholland - Battle Tapes

Grab one book nearest to you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17?: there are in fact no books near me because im down in our office/gaming den and all the books are upstairs. could I go grab one? yes. will I? nah.

ever had a poem or a song written about you? : I’ve had someone sing a song that was targeted to me! bitterly! and while I kinda deserved it I kinda didn’t. that was a weird year at summer camp and wow that girl was crazy into me out of nowhere...

when was the last time you played air guitar?: Today. Though I usually do air drums. Especially on the steering wheel.

who is your celebrity crush?: Jake Gyllenhaal can get me to watch pretty much any kind of wild movie because he’s just that interesting of an actor in my eyes. Does this count? Because it’s about all I can think of.

what’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: Sound I hate is metal utensils scraping against teeth. It’s worse than nails on a chalkboard. ALSO BEES BUZZING. I have a massive phobia of wasps and the like and I have literally gone into a near panic attack because a light was broken and buzzing in a store once. ---- a sound I love would be just music in general? don’t make me pick one sound... cats purring is also great (stealing that Rae)

do you believe in ghosts?: In contrast to my WIFE, no. She swears she has seen spirits and the like including around our home (lovely) but I’ve seen nothing of the sort. My brain is totally logical and left side (the last vestiges of the right side are why I can write at all). If I see something I’ll believe it but so far it’s a big 0.

how about aliens?: In the universe? 100%. Here on Earth? 30%.

do you drive?: I feel like the only person I know who ENJOYS driving. I love going out and hitting the road. I get into a groove and it’s very relaxing. Been driving since I was 15.5 with the learners and pretty much had my license within a couple months of my 16th. My new job is all office work but I drove all over the DC tri-state area for my old job.

if so, have you ever crashed?: There have been some very close calls in my time driving but aside from a couple fender benders and a speeding ticket I’m clean on the record.

what was the last book you read?: I was reading Dune the other month. Should get back to it because it’s good.

do you like the smell of gasoline?: I do, like I remember going out to the yard shed now and then and lingering just a bit longer than necessary for the fumes from the gas cans and mower. That said, never hung around and huffed it. Or anything.

what was the last movie you saw?: Last thing in theaters was that anime movie Belle, which was gorgeous to look at but overall pretty mediocre and I didn’t much enjoy it. There are so many better anime movies out there and it felt like a disjointed excuse to play with fun themes. Last movie I watched streaming was with the GC and that was Silence of the Lambs. Always good.

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: I’ve got tons of scars on my right hand (ironically I’m left handed with everything) from a variety of stupidities or mishaps. Dog bite, knife stab, wire slice, burn... but none of those really hurt that much. Maybe it was the shock lel. I’ve never broken a bone and haven’t had any big things happen to me... I guess the worst one would have to be the dog bite? since it left so many scars on my hand and one of em needed stitches?

do you have any obsessions right now?: I still inhale lore and art around Library of Ruina lately. And I’m getting into playing Genshin a lot these past few days (it’s really started to click how to play) but as far as obsessions... no. I haven’t had any big passion for awhile. I’m happy and content but not driven since I haven’t found anything to really light a spark.

Tagged by: @more-than-a-princess (thank!) Tagging: steal it!

#dash :: games ooc #how is it already 11:30pm? buh #I think I'll do some writing tomorrow if I can get up at a decent hour #which means I need to stop myself from staying up...

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bastardsunlight · 3 years

Text

My buddy over at @sxvethelastdance is doing some deep dive shit on the subject of Liu Kang’s faith in all his iterations—95, games, 2021—so I decided “hey why don’t I do that too?” because I also desire to be one of The Cool Kids™. This is in no way meant to be taken as gospel truth or whatever. It’s mostly for me own records, headcanons-wise, and just kind of a character-building exercise since Lao has become one of my more active/sought-after muses of late. I’ll hide it under a cut because it’s liable to get long

Like my S C H L O N G [cue pornbot invasion]

PS THIS IS GOING TO BE ABOUT MORE THAN JUST HIS FAITH BECAUSE A LOT OF THAT WILL COME FROM UPBRINGING/FAMILY AND WILL ALSO FOCUS ON HIS PERSONALITY AND THE INS/OUTS OF IT

For our purposes (and like, in reality because I DO respect authorial intent to some extent), Shaolin Monks isn’t canon, like at all. Someone had a fever dream and Liu Kang/Kung Lao were bimbos for a few hours. Okay they’re still kind of like that, god bless ‘em, but you get the idea. AIGHT now that’s out the way, let’s get this cue ball rolling.

Okay for starters, games Lao because well he’s only ever appeared in the games (and we don’t usually talk about Legacy Because OOF middle-aged Liu Kang with a hot topic sweater and anger issues—Liu Kangst. You’re welcome [plays a high G on the nearest piano]).

Kung Lao comes from a long, distinguished family who has always contributed to the order of light—they’re founding members, all that stuff. They did not build the academy itself, but the Order started with the Great Kung Lao. OUR Kung Lao is the fulfillment of a prophecy, some vague old thing that told of an ancestor who would carry the “spirit of the Great Kung Lao”. They figure reincarnation, which is a reasonable assumption. If that’s true or not, only Fire God Liu Kang and Lord Raiden know, because they’re the only ones to have met him in person. Whatever the case, Kung Lao is born with the ability to call spirits and channel their energy, their “pressure” to do a variety of things, including teleport, an ability that thankfully did not come until later—can you imagine a teleporting toddler? Good god.

The entire Kung line is blessed with some spiritual power, here and there. Kung Lao is off the charts. His mother, a short time before his birth, has a dream where the GKL came to her and said “this is the one”. He is reaching out to his ancestor from the Realm of the Honored Dead, knowing full well that the once-a-generation tournament is not far off and feeling the pull to Lao like some kind of magnet or doorway. Kung Lao is the strongest spirit-channeler the Kung family has ever seen. His parents therefore name him Lao and with the name comes a great and terrible burden.

He is, naturally, chosen as the generational tithe to the Wu-Shi academy and, naturally, the Order of Light. This is a case of being raised in the faith, knowing little else, but being sharp enough to question some things. Obviously, as a kid, he doesn’t question—he just learns and obeys, trains under various masters, etc. Sometime during his younger years, an orphan shows up at the temple and, being a charitable organization, the elders of the temple take him in and name the boy Liu Kang. Liu and Lao become fast friends and the elders are, of course, pleased as punch to see the Kung’s legacy being a good influence on someone like Liu Kang who, unbeknownst to anyone but them (and Raiden), is the blood of Onaga and in possession of a terrible power himself. It does not occur to them that Lao will not be chosen by the god of thunder to be Earthrealm’s champion. Everyone at the academy trains for this purpose, but in THIS generation, no one even questions that it will be Lao.

Kung Lao is extremely gifted, rarely has to study, hardly tries on all exams and new techniques and masters the strange and deadly weapon that is his signature with relatively few injuries. Combining that with his abilities to move spiritual force and teleport and he is a shoe-in. His faith in the Elder Gods is more of a background hum, at this point and, though he has met Lord Raiden, his faith there, too, is hardly a thought. It’s just part of his life. As anyone who grows up in a faith could tell you, the routines become like breathing.

Liu Kang and Kung Lao grow side-by-side as best friends, confidants, troublemakers (though Lao is absolutely the one cutting class), and, as they grow older and into themselves, lovers.

The first time Kung Lao’s faith comes to the forefront and really shakes is when Lord Raiden choses Liu Kang to be his champion for Mortal Kombat. There is the initial shock, of course, and then there is fear. Mortal Kombat has killed very Earthrealm champion, without exception, since the Great Kung Lao’s second attempt. The legends of Prince Goro are written in the forbidden texts of the academy’s library and naturally, the shaolin rowdy boys have broken in and read them all. Kung Lao meditates for hours, wondering what he did wrong. He is never, at any point, resentful toward Liu Kang himself, who has always been an unfailingly loyal friend, a humble monk, an excellent student, and has, with hard work and perseverance, excelled in HIS classes as well.

The more he considers it, the more his faith in the Elder Gods is shaken—if it was ever terribly solid in the first place. More than that, he begins to mistrust Raiden. Kung Lao determines that, due to the hopelessness of the situation, the likelihood of Liu Kang’s return is almost zero. He has all the faith in the world in how strong Liu Kang is, of course, but those odds are not good. He begins to deeply resent the idea that Liu was chosen as a lamb for slaughter based on factors other than likelihood to win. This is also when the insecurity starts to REALLY set in.

Kung Lao doesn’t realize that Liu Kang views him as equal or superior, seeing how he has never had to study or work at ANYTHING to just nail whatever it is, every time. Kung Lao is one of those young adults who was a child prodigy and is experiencing some SERIOUS burnout in his early twenties. It isn’t that Kung Lao doesn’t know he’s good—he’s very aware of his skill. It comes out as brazen arrogance. No one but Liu Kang can seem to knock him down ANY pegs. His faith, he realizes, has always been in himself and in Liu, in what they’ve built and shared. There is a depth of intimacy in that friendship that goes beyond even the physical—though there IS that.

He’s kind of in the mode of “what have the Elder Gods ever done for me?” (spoiler alert: nothing) and he questions Raiden’s motivations as he slowly adds shit up. Liu Kang is an orphan, of no family, with great power. He doesn’t know if there’s something else to it, but he sees the reactions of the elders of the temple when Raiden chooses Liu and it isn’t “weird that you didn’t choose the kid we groomed from birth to do this” but an almost insane level of like, understanding, as if this was a possible outcome. There is something else up, but he has no way of knowing it. He hates the way Liu just accepts it and while they are still capable of making jokes about the whole situation, he can sense the turmoil within Liu, as well, who is ALSO wondering why Lao wasn’t chosen.

Kung Lao is now the black sheep, the family failure, the one who was beaten out by an orphan. This really begins his “second banana” status and everyone seems to know it. They equate his brash pride to insecurity, which in a way it is, because part of him will always wonder what he did wrong, but they did not know him before. It goes from being part of his personality to being a shield. If he is arrogant and aloof, untouchable, no one will see the doubt and trepidation within. And STILL the Elder Gods do NOTHING. When he sneaks into the tournament, he’s taking matters into his own hands, where he is convinced they have always been.

See, he had been okay with dying for Earthrealm, though he was certain with this power, he wouldn’t—that he could save the place like the ancestor for which he was named. He is not ready to lose Liu Kang.

Aight so caveat here, most of this above was built with a VERY specific Liu Kang in mind and below is 100% riding on that same writer (heh riding). None of this has to, in any way, reflect on anyone else’s Liu Kang—not that I’ve seen a ton of those.

MK2021 for all its faults, had amazing characterization for the heroes, even if some of the cuts, scenes, and lines were a bit ……. Clunky. Kung Lao is clearly a powerful fighter, confident to the point of arrogance, but with the skill to back it up. Even when Cole puts him in the dirt, he hops back up and summons his hat, like “okay cool, now let’s get real” because Kombat is not like a cage fight. This is a man who knows few limitations, is highly skilled, and has clearly been raised in the faith, much like his counterpart from the games. His Arcana is passed through his bloodline, much like that of the Hasashi clan and a few others who have passed out of living memory, likely done in by previous Outworld assassination coups.

The biggest difference between games and 2021 Lao is that the latter is a man who demands proof at every turn, by force if necessary, AND HE IS AWARE OF THIS. His faith rests not in the Elder Gods—not caring much for them or their lack of involvement—but in Raiden himself and only then because he has challenged the god of thunder and was put down pretty soundly. Kung Lao respects ability. He has it, so he therefore expects everyone around him to hold themselves to that same standard.

He is two or three years older than Kang, the young orphan Master Bo’ Rai Cho brought to the temple when they are still children, probably six and nine, give or take. They have no classes together, initially, but Kung Lao ss instructed to keep an eye on him, to help him adjust. The two become fast friends and Liu Kang admires the bejeezus out of his shi xiong, both because of that age difference and the obvious experience gap, and because Kung Lao will ALWAYS go to bat for him.

Kung Lao is well aware of the stakes of this tournament, knows that it is, for the most part, riding on him. This becomes doubly true when Sub-Zero is sent to Earthrealm to start taking out the other champions, one by one, to halt a prophecy. Someone carrying Hasashi blood will upset the balance of the tournament.

He is a dutiful monk, a competent teacher, a powerful fighter, and, alongside Liu Kang, the best hope humanity has for victory. Kung Lao’s resentment, in this universe, is directed primarily toward the elders who sent Kang out into the world after his graduation from the academy as a student (as must all students, some with specific orders, and some with more vague directions) to find his true path. The elders have essentially forced Kang to relive the darkest time in his life and thence, to feel the rage and resentment that has for so long boiled beneath his skin, channeling it into a killing urge. Kung Lao protects Liu Kang from this as best he can and, more than that, he protects the world from Liu Kang.

#aboutlaometa #both of 'em are in here so

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brave-clarice · 4 years

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“Clarice” Liveblog: Episode 2

Again, some extremely unfashionably late hot takes.

(Special thanks to @kathrynethegreat and @special-agent-pendragon for encouraging another liveblog!)

Clarice is working out! And eating junk food! I love it.

and cleaning her gun!

hey, Ardelia is drinking what I’m going to assume is her grandmother’s “smart people tea”.

Krendler disciplining Clarice already is infuriating but appropriate.

“I lost control.” Oh no, I don’t like that. Don’t make Clarice unstable. Her mental and emotional state never had anything to do with her failing career.

getting weird mixed signals from Ardelia. Last week, she obviously didn’t want Clarice to lie/stick to the script Krendler gave her, but now she’s telling Clarice she messed up by not doing so...?

“I better know you if you’re calling this early.” Amen, Ardelia.

I’m in love: this cinematography is straight out of the film (when she’s flying to WV with Crawford)!

“When’s the last time you went back to Appalachia?” “It’s been years.” What??? It has NOT been years--Clarice was JUST in West Virginia last week as well as in Silence, and she arguably attended college there as well. (UVA is at least nestled in the mountains, and you don’t have to drive far outside the Albemarle Valley to hit Appalachia proper.) After all the details about her character they’ve been nailing, they miss this glaring error?

I like the tiny details she’s noticing (like the guy biting his nails). Not only because she’s an investigator, but because it’s reminiscent of Hannibal’s influence (imo).

Clarice Is Short: The Saga continues

still not getting any creepy vibes off Krendler. He’s going to be much less effective as an antagonist if he isn’t lewd as well as a dick.

I really don’t care for the way the opening “credits” fade out from the death’s-head moth to Clarice’s face. There are MANY animals that represent her, or parts of her, in the books--lions, lambs, horses, and of course birds--so this choice feels empty and lazy to me.

also lazy: having a fellow agent straight-up tell her in episode 2 “you shouldn’t be in the Bureau.” Maybe in two or three years, after some further “Death Angel”-type incidents, I could see this blatant rudeness, but not yet.

“Reesey”? Thanks, I hate it.

this flashback must be of Clarice’s little brother. That answers one question I had last week. That said...Clarice’s brother doesn’t play the same role in her story that Mischa does in Hannibal’s--but this sure feels like a Mischa-esque flashback.

good: they’re finally getting to the source of Clarice’s actual trauma!

bad: this is NOT how Clarice found out about her father. In fact, that whole incident is laid out in detail in the novels, and there’s nothing overly literary/un-cinematic about it, so this feels unnecessary. “The police are here! Something happened to Daddy!” No, bad! Show, don’t tell!

she would’ve known better than to introduce herself to that kid as “Clarice Starling, FBI,” come on now.

were they regularly able to wire tap hair clips in 1993?

actually, nothing in this show looks very 90s to me so far. I’m sad about it.

so in eighteen months, Ruth Martin has gone from a junior Senator to the Attorney freakin’ General, and now she might run for governor?? At least let her get settled in one position of power first, why don’t you!

yet more Buffalo Bill flashbacks...alas.

are they trying to make this guy another surrogate Hannibal character? He’s commenting on Clarice’s accent and the dryness of her skin, asking about who she “left behind”...it all feels very Hannibal. (I know he’s a Charismatic Cult Leader trope, too--but when played off of Clarice...)

“Ew.” “I hate this guy.” I laughed.

I understand that Clarice probably feels conflicted re: her siblings in the book, but I’m really not digging the flashbacks of this Tim Burton character her brother.

@ the writers: Clarice already has the lamb backstory/symbolism, too. We don’t need this Little Brother stuff.

*shrieking* Mrs. Starling! At the sink washing the blood out of his hat!!!

...aaand they had to ruin it with the brother’s painfully bad dialogue. Will still be good for gif-making, though.

are we supposed to interpret all these flashbacks as Clarice being incapable of controlling her emotions/state of mind? She keeps losing herself in memories and emerging all doe-eyed and panicky. I don’t like it.

not to be a broken record but...Clarice should be TOUGH. Again, Ardelia only saw her cry once in seven years. But she’s more worked up in this scene than Jodie was in Memphis!

when Mr. Cult Leader shouts “Agent Starling! Agent Starling!” he sounds exactly like Hannibal calling her back to his cell in the asylum. That has to be intentional.

damn, wish that I could look as good five minutes after I’ve been crying as Clarice does.

I LOVE that Ardelia gets to be the crucial behind-the-scenes book-smart partner to Clarice’s action heroine.

AG Martin’s just playing politics by turning a blind eye to the crooked sheriff. But when her own daughter was just kidnapped and almost killed, she looks like a real hypocrite.

gosh, Rebecca Breeds is great. I already hope she gets nominated for an Emmy.

so Krendler is...doing the right thing???

Clarice’s father was definitely not a sheriff. I hope she’s just exaggerating for dramatic effect. (Maybe this will be clarified later.)

she couldn’t just sit with a manipulative guy without getting emotional, but she’s cool as a cucumber while telling an extended story about her father? HmmMM.

sometimes her mannerisms and facial expressions are so much like Jodie’s that it’s uncanny, like here when she leans forward to confront the Cult Leader.

“She did it.” Damn straight!

another great callback to Silence. this show’s camera crew knows its stuff!

“He’s concerned I have some residual trauma from Bill.” I. Hate. This. Subplot--and all its OOC implications.

“Catherine was close to her father, too.” Ooh, a nice allusion to the novel! Clarice makes note of their “common wound,” the loss of a father, when she’s in Catherine’s apartment in Silence.

she is just SO pretty.

little Clarice looks a LOT like Rebecca Breeds. I hope we see some more of her.

The Good:

the continuing visual nods to the Silence film via cinematography

Mama Starling!!!

Clarice’s “The World Will Not Be This Way Within the Reach of my Arm” attitude, refusing to leave without helping the victims.

Ardelia Mapp coming in clutch!

Clarice being, generally, a badass

and using psychological tricks/mind games to pin the antagonist...that’s the woman who disarmed a monster with just a few words.

Rebecca Breed’s acting has been phenomenal so far.

I like Clarice’s haircut a lot better when worn down (though it’s not very practical for fieldwork, so we probably won’t see it much).

The Bad:

the continuing Buffalo Bill-related Trauma Subplot. Ugh.

all the flashbacks to Clarice’s brother (and the not-so-subtle suggestion that her brother is, symbolically, another lamb).

will the real Paul Krendler please come forward? this guy is so TAME.

the other agents’ hostility towards Clarice needs to be toned down slightly so that it can escalate. Otherwise, where’s the tension?

is this actually 1993? I’m not feeling it. Shouldn’t it have a little of that Season 1/2 X-Files aesthetic? Please give me more than once-an-episode references to pagers and fax machines!

that glaring Appalachia continuity error...it’s still bugging me.

I missed the overt Hannibal references, even though they’re not necessary to any part of this episode. A lady can dream!

Overall, I really liked this one despite my various issues with it. It started shakily but built to a great finish. The emphasis across both episodes on Clarice being in the FBI not just to “get out, get anywhere,” but out of a genuine desire to help victims has been wonderful. I just hope they don’t swerve too far into the “too traumatized and emotionally compromised to function” lane. It would be a disservice to Clarice’s character and to her journey (and would smack too much of “Hannibal really did prey on her weak mind/brainwash her”.

Things I’d still like to see: More of her personality. Her hobbies and interests. That she’s cleaning her gun is great! Now let’s see “Poison Oakley” practicing her sharpshooting skills. Or car shopping. Or clothes shopping to show off her “developing taste.” (Ardelia can come!) I’ll take literally anything. Give us more of Clarice’s sense of humor as well. She had some subtle funny moments in the pilot, and it’s nice to see Rebecca smile for a change.

And Krendler? Smear that man in grease! I appreciated a happy ending even though Clarice’s career is, as we know, already in a downward spiral--the last thing we want is for every episode to be a slog, especially when a good chunk of the audience hasn’t read the book and doesn’t know Clarice is doomed to fail in the Bureau.

However... Krendler’s not a “redemption arc” kind of character. Or even a “run-of-the-mill sexist asshole” character. This is a man who spent seven years systematically sabotaging a young woman’s career because a) he was jealous that she solved the Gumb case before him, and b) she wouldn’t fuck him. He was a Justice Department official working fist-in-glove with a serial child molester who was planning some of the heinous vigilante justice imaginable. THAT’S why his very gruesome end at Hannibal’s hands felt deserved--even Clarice thought so! In short, he needs to get nasty.

Anyway, thanks for coming to another long-overdue TedTalk. Fingers crossed that the next one will be more timely (aiming for Sunday night)!

#Clarice Starling #clarice #cbs clarice #rebecca breeds #once again I apologize for how late this is #and how long and somewhat ranty lol #please let me know if you want more ♥♥♥#media [cbs show]#char [clarice starling]

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busterkeatonfanfic · 3 years

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Chapter 29, Part I

Buster had hoped that the picture would progress more smoothly back in Culver City. New York had been recreated on Lot Two in no time and was ready for filming by the time he returned to M-G-M on Monday the 30th. He was finding that even without the onerous script, however, he just couldn’t go back to the way he’d done things a few short months before.

When arrived on the set, he hadn’t wanted to get into the scenes of him and the girl right away. Instead, he pulled Bruckman aside and chewed over ways to lead the audience into the story, break the ice a little. Maybe a fussy grande dame carrying too much weight wanted a portrait of her little boy. Buster could see them in his head, the fat lady brushing the shoulders of the kid’s jacket, posing him just so. When she wasn’t looking, the scoundrel would stick out his tongue or thumb his nose. In the meantime, he—that is to say, the photographer—would be growing more and more frustrated with the boy. After being scolded by the lady, who wouldn’t hear that her perfect angel was monkeying around, he would finally take the portrait and show her the result. Upset, she’d blame the kid’s behavior on him. The conversation would get heated, drawing the attention of a drunk panhandler who would ask for his portrait to be done too. After all, his cup was full of pennies, wasn’t it? He could afford it. The lady would object. No, her boy was first in line. There’d be a yelling match between the two, the finely dressed fat woman and the ragged skinny drunk, followed by some shoving, in which Buster became collateral damage when the drunk ducked a punch. The hullabaloo would attract a crowd, and finally a policeman (giving Buster a suspicious look as though he was the cause of it all) would disperse the crowd. Buster would be left on the sidewalk, unpaid for his portrait of the kid and worse off than when he started.

This idea having occurred, he’d called to the crew to get him a fat lady, a kid, and someone who could play a drunk. They just looked at him like he had three heads.

“What’s the big idea?” he’d said.

“C’mere, I wanna word,” Sedgwick had said, frowning over the cigarette between his lips.

They’d gone around the corner until they were out of earshot, then the older man rounded on him. “What in the fuck was that?”

“What in the fuck was what?” said Buster, genuinely baffled.

“All the business of ‘Get me this, I want that.’ You made me look like a damned ass in front of my men.”

“How?” said Buster, astonished.

“By undermining my authority, that’s how. I’m the director. You barking orders makes me look like a spare prick.”

Buster had tried not to gape. He felt his own anger begin to rise. Wanting to keep the peace, though, he’d swallowed and said, “Well, I’m awful sorry. It’s nothing personal, honest, I just never worked another way. It won’t happen again, alright? You have my word.”

Sedgwick’s shoulders had relaxed somewhat and his expression softened. “Thanks. Look, I know it’s got to be tough to adjust, but we do things different. Just watch. You’ll see it’ll get taken care of.”

The scene didn’t get taken care of, despite Sedgwick’s assurances. Buster had stood back chain-smoking and watching calamity unfold. The kid was uncooperative, too green to be anything other than nervous in front of the camera. The fat lady couldn’t seem to understand that the camera couldn’t see the kid when she stood in front of him in all her overproportioned glory. The drunk couldn’t take direction at all, to the point that Buster suspected the drunkness wasn’t an act.

Finally, Sedgwick had thrown up his hands. “This is a disaster. Buster, line these god damn people up and get this fucking shot over with.”

Buster stubbed his cigarette out. “Me?”

Sedgwick had looked pained. “Yes, you. Who else?”

Feeling satisfied inside, Buster had taken over and soon had all parties in line and the scene rolling right along. In the days following, Sedgwick didn’t try to interfere with him and he didn’t try to interfere with Sedgwick, and they grew to like each other. A large man, he had a big appetite and liked to come over to Buster’s half of the bungalow to eat an elaborate lunch cooked up by Caruthers rather than patronize the studio cantine. Buster dubbed him Junior.

Even though Weingarten was up his ass about something every other day, shooting was going alright, too. Maybe it wasn’t the way he was used to working, but at least he’d gotten three-quarters of his control back and could dispense with things like jewel thieves and kidnappings.

As April gave way to May that week, he stayed overnight at the bungalow. On Wednesday he managed to sneak Nelly in. They had to forgo their usual activities beneath the sheets owing to her monthly visitor, but they had a nice dinner of roast lamb and potatoes and tried a few foxtrots in the front room, bumping into furniture because was hardly any room, then Nelly practiced her lines while he smoked and perused the latest pile of newspapers and magazines that Caruthers had left.

On Friday night, he drove back to the Villa. He arrived just in time for dinner, catching Natalie as she passed through the atrium.

“Hello, Nate,” he said. He’d just hung his coat and hat and kicked off his shoes.

“Oh, you’re back in time for dinner,” she said without a smile. He could tell by the way she said it that it was a question in disguise: Why haven’t you been home for dinner?

“Well sure, it’s Friday night. Ain’t filming tomorrow. I’m staying at the bungalow while we’re filming,” he added. “Toldja that.”

“You didn’t,” she said, unsmiling. “You didn’t say you were staying at the bungalow this week.”

He considered his wife’s unhappy countenance and tried to remember if he’d called her on Monday. He’d had dinner with Sedgwick, then there was a bridge game and drinks with some of the M-G-M brass. Sam Goldwyn had been there. Or had that been Tuesday night? He couldn’t remember, and couldn’t remember calling her. “I thought I did. Honest. I got caught up in stuff, I guess,” he said.

“Oh, your card games?” she said, hand on her hip. She looked beautiful, all polish, poise, and elegance. “Maybe with that girl from your picture? Marceline?”

His eyes widened. “Marceline? You mean Marceline Day?” He knew he ought to be used to Natalie’s jealousy by now, but sometimes it flew at him out of the blue and smacked him straight in the face like that baseball last July. He’d hardly filmed a single scene with his newest leading lady, let alone entertained thoughts of seducing her.

“I simply find it incredible you’d forget to call me over a card game.”

“Well, it’s true whether you believe it and I said I’m sorry.” He reached for her arm. “C’mon, let’s not fight about silly stuff.”

“Oh, I agree it’s silly alright,” she said, brushing off his hand. “I didn’t make it so, you did.”

“Nate,” he said. “The kids. C’mon, they’re in the other room for Christ’s sakes.” In an attempt to extinguish the argument, he grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed both her cheeks in quick succession. “Please? You’ve got me tomorrow and Sunday. I’ll spend all that time with you. I’m all yours.”

Natalie grimaced. “I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon for Lake Tahoe. With Norma. Don’t tell me you forgot that too.”

“Of course I didn’t,” he lied. He had no recollection of her telling him about Lake Tahoe, though supposed it had been discussed in New York when he was listening with half an ear. “Let’s make the most of tonight then, and tomorrow morning.”

“We’re having veal for dinner,” she said, ignoring his offer.

“Good. I’m hungry.”

It wasn’t much of a truce, but he treated it like one and put his arm through hers and walked her to the dining room.

Natalie went to bed early that night complaining of a headache and was too preoccupied the next day buying new outfits for her trip with Norma to trouble with him. “I’m sorry, but it’s supposed to be warm and we’ve got to have some lighter dresses for the trip,” she’d said just before departing.

He tried to distract himself golfing with Tom Mix, but kept getting stuck on thoughts of his wife like a skip in a record. There had been a time when Nate had loved him and they’d gotten along, he could almost swear by it. He’d once spent hours with her mother and sisters, not resenting them for taking up Natalie’s time and attention. Rather, he had been glad to be in their midst even though Peg had never made a secret of the fact that she didn’t think him good enough for her middle daughter. It had been easy then to love the people who loved Natalie.

There had also been a time when Nate and him had talked about more than the children, kissed in more than a perfunctory way, and shared more than just a house and money. To this day he couldn’t understand why it wasn’t that way between them anymore, couldn’t remember when they’d begun to drift apart. He was pretty sure she had still loved him when they’d moved into the Villa. When had she stopped? Why had she stopped?

Tom would bring him back to reality at intervals, reminding him that it was his turn to put. He’d forget about Natalie for a couple minutes, but the needle would return to the beginning of the groove and he’d start worrying all over again. If only if he just—maybe if he just …

That night, he got roaringly drunk at Marion Davies’ party, not bothering to see Natalie off at the train station when she left late in the afternoon.

The Villa was vacant the following day, his sons having been kidnapped by Constance and all the servants but Caruthers dismissed until Monday. Their benevolent mistress had decided they could do with a little holiday as a treat. Tired of fretting about Natalie, he drank some black coffee to tame his headache and called Nelly afterward.

Note: I know you’re all sick of waiting, so I decided to publish Chapter 29 into two parts. The second part will likely be longer. Sorry I’m so busy, but 🤷‍♀️

#buster keaton #fan fiction #actor rpf #golden age hollywood #silent film

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brotbrotbrotlamb · 4 years

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pocky

by breadandlamb

warnings: none

words: 1.6k

lamb, bread and their friends play the pocky game. meanwhile, xiaolongbao does not regret a single thing.

in case you are confused, the food names are pseudonyms for actual people. you can tell i was (and still am) hungry.

"what did you even have planned?" pudding asks xiaolongbao, raising her eyebrows. "you couldn't possibly have expected us to play mafia forever, could you?"

"dude, relax," xiaolongbao replies flippantly, disappearing from the room and reappearing with two boxes of chocolate pocky in her hands. she turns to the other nine people in the room and exclaims, "we're gonna play the pocky game now! aren't i such a genius, guys?"

there's a mixed response; half of the people, knowing what it was, either groaned loudly or demanded a change of game, while the other half just stared blankly at their host.

"what's," gelato finally asks, "the pocky game?"

"oh, it's like really simple—" "we're not playing that!" "shuddup, jalapeño!" "—spin the bottle—" "no way am i—" "—eat two ends of pocky—" "what the fuc—"

"what," gelato deadpans, before holding his hands out. "be quiet, you guys! i can't even hear xiaolongbao!"

"it's like spin the bottle but the two people chosen will have to eat a— eat a po— oh my god," jelly starts to explain, but doesn't get halfway through before facepalming hard. "xiaolongbao, must we really?"

"yes," xiaolongbao tells her, trying to hide the most devious smile on her face. "yes, we must. i am the host and you must listen to me, okay?"

"wait, so what happens after?"

"what do you mean?"

"what's the aim of the game?"

"whoever pulls away first will have to do a forfeit," xiaolongbao says, "which is decided by the other person." the room once again descends into chaos as the five boys and five girls attempt to talk over one another. "okay, guys, guys! if you can't stand it, we'll just play one round. one round, okay?"

"that doesn't really make it better, you know," durian narrows his eyes.

"xiaolongbao, i swear to god you have some trick up your sleeve!" lamb accuses, pointing an index finger at her friend. said friend's grin widens upon hearing her words, before she coughs conspicuously and denies it. "no, i really don't trust xiaolongbao."

"c'mon, guys, it's just one round," pudding persuades, "it won't hurt."

after three very loud minutes of arguing and talking over each other, they decide to play just one round by a majority vote.

(xiaolongbao is positively screaming on the inside.)

her lips trembling with the effort with which she's concealing her smile, she places the empty, opaque bottle down on the floor. resting her two hands on the opposite ends of the bottle, she pushes it in two different directions, sending it spinning wildly.

"oh my god, if it's me, i will leave this room."

"don't be a spoilsport, sorbet."

as the bottle slows down, the group of friends gathered in a circle tense noticeably, with some holding their breath as if awaiting a verdict. the tip of the bottle points at kimchi... at pudding... at durian... at bread...

it stops, pointing directly at bread.

said guy lets out a "WHAT THE FUCK" and slams his fist against the rug as the others around him either start cackling, patting his back while thanking god it wasn't them, or praying that the next one wouldn't be them.

"if the next one isn't lamb, i'm giving up on christianity."

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN CHRISTIAN."

"of course i'm not christian, i'm gelato."

"oh my god shut up."

"bread SPIN THE BOTTLE!"

all eyes are on the bottle as it turns, the atmosphere somehow tenser than before.

"bread, that was a really bad spin."

"what the—"

"oh my god oh my god it's nearing me!"

"shut up and watch!"

"fuck no make it move! don't stop! don't stop here!"

"wait, guys, it's moving to lamb!"

"no, it's not! it's going to stop at jelly!"

"daughter, stop lying!"

"you stop lying, mom!"

there's a moment in which the world itself seems to wait with bated breath as the bottle slows down, the tip pointing to a point right in the middle of jelly and lamb. then there's a small inch towards lamb— "NO, DON'T STOP AT ME! NO!"— another infinitesimal increment, before it finally halts, just a millimeter or two away from the centre.

"HOLY SHIT, LEAD!"

"IT'S FATE!"

"KISS! KISS! KISS!"

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"NO NO NO NO NO NO—"

"LEAD IS THE BEST SHIT— I MEAN SHIP—"

"LEAD!"

"I TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU!"

"i'm leaving the room," lamb announces, getting to her feet and making a run for the door, only to nearly trip after xiaolongbao grabs her ankles. "what the HELL, XIAOLONGBAO! I COULD HAVE FALLEN!"

"you have to keep your promise!" xiaolongbao finds it too hard to even attempt to hide her grin. handing the other girl, whose expression is a strange mix of fury, absolute mortification and excitement, the bag of pocky, xiaolongbao hoves her lightly in the direction of the middle of the circle, where bread's desperately trying to crawl away from. "lamb! it was fate! just hurry up!"

"do it already!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," lamb lets out an almost guttural scream, silencing the entire room immediately. she looks surprised herself. "oh. i didn't mean that. i just needed to let out my emotions."

"YOUR LOVE FOR BREAD, YOU MEAN!"

"SHUT UP, KIMCHI, I WILL STAB YOU—"

it takes a few more minutes of screaming and shoving before the two chosen ones are finally standing opposite each other, both of their eyes averted. lamb's cheeks are flushed and completely red, as if she spread crimson matte lipstick all over her face and left it to dry, while bread— the author would like to add a disclaimer at this point that she has never seen bread in person except 4.11 so she has absolutely no idea how he would react under these circumstances, but we can all dream and hope that he is internally dying while trying to be stone-faced.

"uh, just saying, no awkward feelings later, rig—"

"THEY'RE SO CU—"

"shut UP AND DON'T INTERRUPT THEIR MOMENT!"

lamb's face grows steadily redder while bread sends his best death glare at the person who had dared disrupt them.

"duh, no awkward feelings," he says, before motioning to the pocky between your fingers. "let's just hurry up. i can forfeit if you want."

"okay, i'll just give you an easy forfeit."

"THAT'S CHEATING—"

"SHUT UP MAN!"

lamb shakily places the coated end of the pocky into her mouth as bread moves forward and takes the other, uncoated end into his. the "spectators" observe every single miniscule movement, not wanting to miss a single moment. hell, three people even have their phones out and recording.

the first bite sends a shockwave through the room. then another. and another. and another, until their faces are mere centimetres apart and lamb and bread can both see the tiny imperfections on each other's skin.

lamb's eyes widen slightly, as if to say to bread, "your turn. you can forfeit now." she even starts to tilt backwards a little, fully preparing for the moment bread lets go and declares that he has forfeited.

(however, there's a little gleam in his eye that she catches far too late.

"i lied," he suddenly says, before smiling and placing his hands on her waist. he captures her lips in a searing kiss, much to the thunderous applause in the room.

he then leans back, leaving lamb completely blown away and breathless. "you're so sweet, baby sheep—")

SIKE, YOU THIRSTY LEAD SHIPPERS! THEY MIGHT BE EIGHTEEN BUT I AM NOT ABOUT TO WRITE A KISS SCENE BECAUSE WHAT THE HECK THAT IS SO WEIRD :no: DO NOT CROSS THAT LINE

in reality, bread lets go and announces that he has forfeited.

"NOOOOOO!"

"BREAD YOU WEAK ASS—"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE KISSED!"

"LEAD! LEAD!"

"shut up, you all," lamb forces out, somehow looking shakier than she did before she started. xiaolongbao supposes it's because the events of the day are starting to truly sink in. "anyway, bread, your dare… uh… is to pick up the rug and roll it around yourself."

"that's such a boring dare—"

"duh, they're lovers, lamb wouldn't hurt bread!"

"too soft!"

ignoring the commentary, bread reaches down to lift the rug up. suddenly, he freezes, narrowing his eyes at where he sat before.

" xiaolongbao..." he says slowly, almost menacingly, "care to explain why there is a magnet exactly where i sat just now as well as where lamb sat just now?"

eight pairs of eyes turn to look at the ground, where two objects, obviously magnets with their red and blue poles, lie on the ground, previously covered by the mat.

"holy shit, is that why the bottle—"

"OH SHIT, BYE, GOTTA RUN!" xiaolongbao throws the door open and storms downstairs, her footsteps echoing throughout the corridor like a raging herd of buffalo.

“XIAOLONGBAO I WILL MURDER YOUR STUPID ASS!"

"XIAOLONGBAO GET THE FUCK BACK HERE—"

xiaolongbao cackles while she slips on her shoes. "YOU GUYS STILL FELL FOR IT THOUGH!"

she's mildly concerned, seeing the faces of lamb and bread, both distorted from extreme fury, rushing straight for her.

but you know what? though she might be murdered in a few more seconds by a pair of raging lovebirds, she doesn't regret her decision at all. not a single bit. especially because it's lead.

taglist: @slippinglasses @danishmiilk

#pocky game #fluff #random #one shot #breadandlamb

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shewantedtobeasecretgirl · 4 years

Text

10. Bathroom wall a.k.a. a queen bee, Prince in the shower and a backup Casanova (Part One)

„After all… it could be worse. It’s definitely nicer than the apartment I shared with the Friels in L.A.”

“Spare me the details…” Stone mumbles as we’re walking with our bags and suitcases to our rooms. Every second neon light is flickering, which, apart from making me tic, creates a Hitchcockian vibe here. But we have no choice, this is the only motel in the smalltown in which we are stuck for one night on our way to Charlotte. The tour bus of the crew broke down and after two hours of consultation, the drivers confirmed the case requires a car mechanic. Since we were in the late afternoon, Eric decided to cancel our hotel reservation for this night and we checked in the first and only motel we found here.

“I’m happy we only have to spend one night here. Not that I’m picky but this Bates Motel scares the hell out of me…” Judy glances around nervously, reading in my mind as usual. “It’s that a cockroach trap?” she squeaks.

“Don’t worry, I know how to deal with insects, I grew up on a farm, these bastards show up very often around animals.”

“…aaand that’s exactly why we have to worry…” Stone adds having us in stitches.

“Stoney, your only luck is that I can handle any sort of animals.” Jeff retorts grinning as he walks a few steps backwards to see Stone’s reaction but he tactically waits with his retort for him turning back.

“Oh yeah… and you can’t wait to show her your one-eyed trouser snake.” he mutters and I try to mask my snorts by faking a cough. However much I like Judy and however much I have no idea what’s going on exactly between her and Jeff, Stone’s remarks about their bashful kindergarten romance are just hilarious…

“I’ve got bugs in my room…” Ed shows up in the door we’ve just passed.

“Bugs… and no TV.” Beth puts her head out too.

“Great. All I’ve wanted was to stare random sports coverages with glazed eyes and not to think about anything…”

“Since when have you needed any outside help to do that?” Stone targets our bassist again.

“Well, Mike, you’ve won the jackpot. One night with Stone without a TV… What do you think, Jeff, how long it’ll take until he knocks on your door begging you for cutting his cochlear nerves out of his skull?” she asks raising one eyebrow.

I must admit Stone has met his match in this girl. Honestly, I can’t stand when they are yelling with each other but a healthy level of wrangling can’t hurt. At least he leaves us alone while he’s busy with hating her… and she’s not that damsel in distress what she looks like at first sight, even if Stone isn’t willing to acknowledge that.

“Why does nobody care about ME?” Stone whines. “One night without TV… in the company of Mike McCready’s infamous right hand…”

I jinxed it.

“You know, Stone, I still can strangle you with the left one…”

“EWWW!” the others groan in unison, probably visualizing the scene. Now that I think into it, it’s rude, truly…

“Mike, behave yourself, we have now a lady in the crew; we can’t act like wild boars anymore…”

“But wild boars can’t even…”

“A lady. Of course. And what I am? Or who? Wilma Flintstone?” Karrie shakes her head with folded arms standing in the next door.

“Oh, you’re such a badass that we always forget you’re a woman… Okay, that definitely sounded better in my head.” I duck my head seeing the reproving expression of the others. “What I’m trying to say is that you survived several tours with punk bands, I’m sure we’re innocent lambs in comparison to them…”

“Pure, immaculate babies…” Jeff bats his eyelashes.

“You’d better prepare for getting dirty… since there’s no shower in the rooms…”

“What?” Judy lets out a short scream that reminds me of the squeak of a random exotic bird.

“I’m serious, there’s only a toilet with a small sink.” she opens the door in her room. As I enter to peek in, the smell strikes me. Everything in the room, including the furniture, the tapestry, the curtain is saturated with the massive smell of cigarette smoke. I don’t even know if one could get rid of this level of smell… maybe by demolishing the whole building and sowing salt onto its place…

“Does that mean there’s no shower here at all?” Judy inquires one octave higher.

“No worries, it’s here…” we hear Dave’s voice from the end of the hallway. Judy drops her backpack on the ground and hurries in his direction; after a collective shrug, we decide to follow her. On entering, I count two sinks and a rickety classroom chair in the forefront; I go on with my expedition and find myself in a wider room with each four shower compartments on both sides.

“What do you think, is that the women’s shower or…” Judy wonders. We exchange an amused look before bursting out in laughter.

“Judy, I doubt there’s another one in this building.” Jeff throws one arm around her shoulder. “But I’m sure we’ll find a solution to this problem.”

“S-sure.” she reddens in a second. “D-did I mention I lived in a dorm in my first two years on Juilliard? Actually, there were separate showers for girls and boys but you could never know whom you could encounter there…” she jabbers examining the nose of her shoes.

“And which one did you visit more often?” Stone asks in a phlegmatic manner not showing much interest in the answer since he begins to discover the room with both hands in the pocket.

“Actually, showers have great acoustics so I would use the evenings when everyone was away and sneak in with my bassoon to practice…” her face lights up. The poor girl hasn’t suspected yet what I already know: Stone will use the occasion to embarrass her all the more.

“So you practiced on your bassoon there. Finally, I’ve learned how classical musicians call it!”

“Tell me Stone, what makes you think about penis all the time?” Jeff grins while Judy is only staring in front of herself completely mortified. “We’re talking about animals… PENIS! We notice the lack of TV… PENIS! Judy mentions a musical instrument… PENIS! What would Freud think about that?” he takes his chin between his thumb and index finger and starts scratching it with them, pretending cogitation.

“We should call Amber, the guy needs urgent treatment.” Dave snorts.

“Or I can leave you alone for this evening…” I place my hand on Stone’s shoulder with a meaningful expression.

“Okay guys… I leave you alone and give you five minutes to discuss your pubescent wet dreams or to do whatever you collectively want to, I’m not interested in the details, what happens here that stays here but after the blood returns in your brain, we should decide what to do in the evening since I want to spend here as little time as possible. I saw a bar opposite the motel, maybe they have a TV or maybe we could play pool or foosball…”

“Great idea. Now leave.” Dave tosses her jokingly to the hallway.

I do like her idea, I’d be anywhere but here… but I already know the signs. The knives in my stomach… it’s coming…

***

„Look, Judy and Scully are sitting there!”

“…and that’s why we’re gonna choose another table…” Stone mumbles.

“I tell you a secret: you won’t catch leper just by sitting next to her…”

“I don’t wanna hazard, how would I look with one ear or… whatever…”

“A smaller nose wouldn’t hurt, though…”

“I must say, Stone’s right…” Dave turns back to me. “You shouldn’t breathe down her neck all the time.”

“I don’t…”

“You do.” they answer in unison and Dave goes on like he was the dating guru of the band. “If you like a girl and follow her everywhere like a puppy, she will take it for granted. But if you sometimes act casual and don’t treat her like a princess…”

“… she will have no clue whether I like her or not and nothing will happen between us in the rest of our lifetime.” I cut him off.

“No, it’s all about tactics! You show interest, then you pull back, but you’ve already piqued her curiosity so she takes the next step, then you make a move again and this time you try to get closer than last time, then you take back from the pace again making her jealous… and so on…”

“Come on, it’s not like a basketball match, I hate playing games and dancing things around, I just go and ask her out and tell her how I feel and if she rejects me, at least I can tell I didn’t run circles… I hate making a fool of myself.”

“As you want, Jeff… but one thing I know: the most exciting girls all play “the game”. All of them. I’ll grab the beers.” Dave sums up with a meaningful grin before heading to the counter.

“You should leave her alone. I mean not because of what Dave said, obviously, neither is she exciting, nor is she a player and I’m scientifically not convinced that she’s a girl at all but seriously… you can’t expect much from her…”

“I don’t really care about your opinion, you can’t stand her, fine, but I…”

“… you can’t expect much from her…” he repeats taking a deep breath “because she’s a virgin.“

“Hahaha, Jesus, Stone, forget this bullshit finally, not all decent girls are nuns or spinsters!” I shake my head glancing to the direction of the decent girl in question. Luckily, the TV screen over the counter and the broadcasting of a basketball match on it serve as unquestionable excuse for me following what’s happening at our friends’ table.

“Bashfulness is one thing… and her potato bag-like dresses weren’t designed for seduction either but… I’ve heard something…”

“What? Her reading her gynecology record?” I snort.

“Very funny… you think I’m kidding… it happened at the SNL set. Between our appearances, I went back to our dressing room and when I entered she was… begging Eddie to show her how to use a condom…” Stone gets finally to the point pushing the ash tray back and forth with his thumb.

“Are you high or what? You mean she… she… she asked Ed to grab his dong and…” I’m trying to overcome my laugh attack.

“Jesus, no!!! She wanted him to do it with a banana. Plus, Beth was there too.”

“This story is getting better and better.” I keep snickering as I bury my face in my hand, not that me tearing off my own face would bother Stone in finishing the presentation of his theory.

“Well, it sounds pretty sick at first but if you think into it… she’s inexperienced… she gets on well with Beth… who tries to enlighten her about sex stuff… and she gets the idea that her boyfriend could help her with the male side of the story…”

“Stone?”

“Yup?”

“You’re a fuckin’ perv, you watch too much threesome porn.” I lean closer looking in his eyes.

“Since when has been threesome a perverse thing?” he asks back avoiding my eyes with a lopsided smile.

“I didn’t say that. But fantasizing about Judy discussing sexual topics with a couple who happen to be our friends is definitely only the product of your twisted mind.” I poke him in the forehead with my index finger. “Anyway, this whole incubus is full of contradictions. Like, you know too that Ed can be pretty shy about certain topics, if this scene had happened the way you told, he would have got embarrassed and…”

“I know, it was weird to me too but he even began to joke about it suggesting that we should write a song about ejaculation…”

“Haha, I always thought Mike would be the first to come up with that…”

“You know, some people write songs about it, some people practice it… Anyway, admit it, it makes sense. She’s shy, she reddens all the time, she even makes up a ridiculous excuse just to avoid being kissed…”

“…which is also only your theory, let’s make it clear.” I interject but in the meantime, I catch myself observing Judy’s body language. She talks to Scully with folded arms, as if she was trying to squeeze in and take up as little space as possible. Noticing my distraction, Stone also glances towards them and goes on with his mental leap, not taking his eyes off them.

“Of course… it’s possible that I misheard them. Maybe she was talking about bandanas and I thought it was about a banana. Maybe she didn’t even say “condom.” Maybe she said bottom… or bonbon… or pontoon… or…”

“Just shut up finally!” I grunt still focusing on my target who now tucks both palms under her thighs and listens to our guitar tech with undivided attention. I wish there was a manual on the typical moves of sexually inactive girls… shit, Stone’s tactic works. As always. He’s got that annoying skill to bug with you his impossible ideas again and again until you realize he’s put a bee in your bonnet and crawled totally into your mind. “Anyway, even if you’re right, what does it change?”

“Right about what?” Dave rejoins the conversation and distributes the three bottles of beer before he sits back on his place.

“Whether Saint Judith has already popped the cherry.” Stone grins against the rim of the bottle with sassy eyebrow twitches.

“Geez, don’t you have anything better to talk about?” Dave shakes his head and I reward his reaction by clapping appreciatively. “Anyway” he goes on with a little break while he’s taking a sip “if you’re that curious, why don’t you just go and ask Karrie?”

“I’M NOT CURIOUS ABOUT IT!” I raise my voice. “Excellent idea Dave, I don’t even know why it hadn’t occurred to me before… like, “hey Karrie, has your cousin banged recently? I mean, since she was born?” After all, she would probably only tear my head off and play basketball with it stomping on my dead body. It’d be totally worth trying.”

My reaction makes Dave laugh so hard that he ends up dropping the cigarette he’s just put into the corner of his mouth. As he places it back approaching it with the lighter, I hear a female voice over my head.

“Have you got light?”

The owner of the voice is a tall, slim girl. She isn’t pretty in the conventional meaning but the contrast between her dark hair and eyes and her pale skin gives her a femme fatale look. The red lipstick she’s wearing only multiplies this image; due to the striking phenomenon, it takes me a few seconds to notice the two other girls standing behind her. They are nice but obviously not nice enough to eclipse the vibe of Lipstick Girl. After all, ladies-in-waiting have never been allowed to look better than their queen…

“Sure” mumbles Dave offering the lighter, not that he’s got any choice because Lipstick Girl has already taken place on the fourth chair after her rhetorical question.

Stone and I glance at each other confirming that we don’t have any other choice either than reaching out for each one chair at the surrounding tables and pulling them closer to ours, so that the other two girls don’t have to be standing miserably around us.

“You’re those guys from Pearl Jam, right?” Lipstick Girl inquires blowing the smoke lazily. For no reason, though, since knowing the answer, she goes on with the next question. “And where’s your singer?”

I should have known. They are interested in the famous Eddie Vedder. As ninety-nine percent of people who know the band.

“He stayed at the hotel. With his girlfriend.” I try to answer in a dark voice.

“Oh. That’s too bad. I’m Claudia, by the way.” her face lights up as she reaches out her hand to Stone and I can’t decide whether her sudden enthusiasm is real or she’s a serial killer who’s just found her backup victim.

“That Guy From Pearl Jam.” Stone shakes hands with her.

“And these are my friends, Jordan and Wendy.” she goes on with the introduction, ignoring Stone’s sarcastic response. Wendy can’t help giggling excitedly hearing her own name while Jordan sends a shy smile towards us.

“Actually, we rather call him Stone. It’s shorter and simpler. Sort of… classy.” I explain.

“Yes, and since we’re all “That Guy From Pearl Jam”, we had to find out another names, otherwise we’d never know who’s talking to whom. That’s why we call him Jeff.” Dave points at me cracking the girls up with his joke, of course Claudia’s laughter is the loudest from the trio.

“Actually, we found this dude in a dumpster. We decided to adopt him and named him Dave.” I point back at our drummer keeping our company entertained. Tit for tat. ”By the way, Stone is our guitarist…”

“Rhythm guitarist…” he feels necessary to specify the name of his position.

“Oh my god, I love rhythms.” Wendy exclaims pressing her hand against her chest.

“But Dave is our rhythm master-in-chief, he plays the drums.”

“Actually, bass belongs to the rhythm section too… by the way, I’m the bass player…” I add although I doubt they could distinguish between the types of guitars.

“And aren’t you playing a show tonight?” Jordan finally speaks up but before we could answer politely her dumb question, Claudia humiliates her saying out loud what’s probably not only on my but also my bandmate’s mind.

“Of course they aren’t, what do you think, they have clones or what? Anyway, what are you doing here?” she suddenly turns back into the chatty Catwoman, sending an irresistible smile at Stone. She must be bipolar.

“We’re just hangin’ out… talkin’ about stuff… mostly manly stuff. Porn… tuned cars…” Stone shrugs.

“Oh my god, I love tuned cars!” Wendy clucks in, obviously her sensor for sarcasm isn’t working, in case she has one at all.

“…guns…” Dave adds and despite my expectations, Wendy doesn’t express her enthusiasm this time.

“…and basketball…” I throw in my contribution but I immediately lose interest in the conversation, when Dave nudges me nodding towards Judy and Scully. I immediately decode his signal and glance there too to realize Judy is staring us. And as far as I can see, her expression is curious and confused at the same time.

“You see? It’s working…” Dave mutters between his teeth pretending to listen to the rambling of Wendy and Claudia. “Now make her clear she’s not the center of the universe, you notice other girls too…” he advises pulling out the next cigarette of the pack. As always, Stone reaches out for it too knowing Dave always spares him and pardons his grubbing.

“Wow, may I check your hands?” Claudia uses the occasion and like every time since they joined us, she does what she wants regardless to the answer, which means this time her grabbing Stones right hand and starting touching it enthusiastically. “Your hands are beautiful… how can fingers be that long? And they are so soft!” she also narrates the process, making Stone let out a silent chuckle. Despite being the sarcastic commenter of our life, he can be pretty aloof with strangers and I’m sure he’s embarrassed this time too. Driven by a sudden idea, I basically push my hands in the face of Jordan.

“Look, bassist hands look totally different!”

“Yeah… your finger seems… stronger. I like your rings…” she flushes but I find more interesting the outraged grimace of the girl behind her. Is it possible that Dave was right? She’s flailing as she’s explaining something angrily to Scully, still looking at us… Is she maybe…jealous? Yass!!!

In the meantime, music starts playing from the speakers, it’s Hot Stuff by Donna Summer. Weird choice at a pub without a real dance floor but the girls at our table don’t feel bothered by that fact since they all start screaming grabbing for each other’s hands.

“Oh my god, I love this song!” Wendy shrieks. How surprising.

“I can’t help dancing every time I hear it!” Claudia sighs and in the next second I see her pulling Stone – whose hand she’s still holding in hers in the middle of the bar while our bandmate turns back and sends desperate S.O.S. signals to us.

“Yes, let’s dance!”

The two other girls follow them and they encourage us to do the same by shouting back at us. Dave silently grins at me and I immediately know what’s on his mind.

“No. No way. Forget it.”

“Come on Jeff, let’s finish what you’ve started. Everything for the cause.”

As his smile grows wider I realize I have no choice.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I groan as I pinch the bridge of my nose, even closing my eyes tightly as if it could help me turn invisible. “Okay, let’s do it.” I exhale deeply and drag myself after Dave.

I honestly hope this works… And if it does, I’ll want to get a very generous reward for it.

***

„I gladly help you, Judy but don’t you think it’ll be too much? You want to learn everything at once. I mean, I’m not saying you’re not capable of it but I’m not sure that my experiences would be useful… even Brett’s task is closer to that of Karrie’s, so…”

“The more I work with the team the more I feel that I know nothing. N O T H I N G. Karrie’s done this job for years and I only have weeks to become her replacement… Jesus, I was a goddamn idiot when I said yes.” Judy leans her forehead against her palms with a desperate sigh. “This whole job is about physics that has never been my strength…” she lifts her bottle to her lips, which is a move she’s done very often tonight. Actually, I don’t mind it, she hasn’t been very talkative to me but seemingly, beer proves to be an effective tongue loosener at her.

“Come on, do the others look like rocket scientists?”

“Of course not. But everything what they learned by experiencing step by step, I have to compensate in like… weeks? A degree in physics or electrical engineering would be more useful than my skill to recognize chords by ear or analyze a fugue theme or…

“And why do you think that the guitar tech could introduce you into the mysterious world of sound waves and frequencies? I basically just tinker with Stone’s guitars, prepare him cold beer on the amp and hand him the towel between songs…”

“You forgot to mention your supernatural ability…”

“…which would be…?”

“First, being able no to vomit of the look of his sweaty body… and to bear him, generally. Seriously, man, you should receive the Nobel Peace Prize, it’s some achievement.” she glimpses narrow-eyed at the three-fifths of the band. It’s beginning. They don’t even need to be in any interaction to find excuses for sparring. “Sorry, I know you get on well with each other, he’s your friend, yadda-yadda… but he simply gets on my nerve and he even enjoys it.”

Actually, that’s exactly what Stone keeps telling about her too but I rather swallow my remark. When the guys arrived, I was about to wave them so that they came over but she almost broke my arm and categorically declared she couldn’t even bear the sight of him. I thought her liking the other guys could make her overcome her aversion but I was wrong.

“Karrie hasn’t allowed me yet to do anything with her soundboard during the gigs but she gives me smaller tasks at sound checks and encourages me to experiment with the setups… although I feel like I’m wasting everybody’s time and I’m just pushing buttons senselessly like a lab chimpanzee… I mean, the others tell me too if I don’t manage to do what they are asking me for but I also receive positive feedback from them when I’m accidentally doing something right. But Stone… he basically disagrees only for the sake of tension and he changes his mind in every two seconds… so even if I sometimes start feeling useful, he ruins this feeling with one single word or a smug face…” she goes on talking faster and faster, putting accent on every mentioning of Stone by beating her bottle against the table.

“I don’t want to desperate you but you’d better begin to prepare for new challenges… it’s already April, the season of outdoor gigs has just started… which means you can forget everything you’ve already learned because those are completely different than shows in smaller smoky clubs…” And they give Stone infinite number of variations for finding flaws and mistakes in her work but I keep this information for myself, seeing she’s stressed out enough even without that.

“Great. You really know how to soothe people, you know?” she remarks with a bitter half-smile. “And here we are…”

“What?” I ask and follow the direction of her look as she nods towards the guys who are now surrounded by a few girls, probably local bar beauties. “Oh, it’s nothing serious… it happens from time to time and I’m sure it’ll too more and more often. But they’re not interested in girls who are interested in rock stars.” I shrug.

“ ’Course. Not at all. Guys who are not interested in girls. Sure.”

“I’m serious, I mean, they don’t practice celibacy but neither of them is into hookups with fans.”

“That’s what I’ve heard too. And they do seem to be honest guys but who believes in fairy tales?” As we keep observing them, we witness the ladies settling down at their table and engaging into a lively conversation with them. “You see?” she comments on the scene but despite the victorious confirmation she’s right, I discover hints of other feelings on her face too… maybe… envy?

“Okay, you’re a little right. Dave is a huge flirt. He loves being surrounded by girls, complimenting them, chatting them up and apart from a few exceptions, that’s all.” I admit trying to direct the conversation to neutral fields since I suddenly realize what triggers her reaction. I’m a moron for catching on so slowly but better later than never… She obviously feels neglected by Jeff. They’ve just begun to hang out together, they’ve already had a sort-of-a-date… and now she thinks he’s lost interest in her. “But Jeff is a very loyal type, he’s like a brick wall with bimbos…” I put him on pedestal but she doesn’t seem convinced.

“Jesus, those typical, trivial girly tricks, I can’t believe he buys them.” she goes on as if she hadn’t even heard me.

“I… I wouldn’t think anyone of them is his type, I mean of course I didn’t know all of his exes but…” I babble effortlessly and my words finally reach her brain.

“What? Exes? Whose exes?” she tilts her head furrowing her eyebrows uncomprehendingly. Okay, that’s definitely not what I expected.

“Jeff’s..?” I ask back with the same helpless expression.

“Who the hell cares about Jeff?” she startles impatiently. What. The. Fuck. “I mean of course I care. About Jeff. And when I say “care” I mean “care”, like, we all care about him, right? We care about him since he’s our friend. We’re happy when he’s happy and we comfort him when he’s sad because he’s like our…”

“…brother?” I help her out since her version about the concept of care sounds more and more like the kindergarten edition of Oxford Dictionary.

“Uhmmm…” she hesitates and I’m sure she’s fast-backwarding all their interactions in her head, sorting out the potentially incestuous ones. “He’s a guy who doesn’t owe me anything.” she defines finally the situation.

Thanks, Judy, I feel a lot smarter now.

“Seriously, groping a guy’s hand??? Couldn’t she be cheaper?” she exclaims flailing outraged. As I follow her gaze, I spot a black-haired demon sitting next to Stone who’s playing with his fingers fliratiously.

“Stone??? Were you talking about him the whole time?”

“Of course, about whom else?” She rolls her eyes as if she was just explaining that one plus one is two.

“But you hate him…”

“Yup. I do.”

“Then why does it bother you?” I glance at the hand porn scene.

“It bothers me because he’s the only one of them who’s got a girlfriend and look how he’s behaving…”

“How is he behaving?”

“Are you blind, man? She’s flirting with him and he doesn’t stop her while that poor girl is waiting for him somewhere in Seattle…”

“Look, “poor girl” is the last thing I would say thinking about Amber… Anyway, you don’t even know him properly. He doesn’t encourage girls in whom he’s not interested but the fact he doesn’t take them seriously doesn’t mean he has to be rude with them either.” I defend my friend involuntarily.

“I get it, the only girl with whom he has to be rude is me.”

“What the hell does that have to do with you? And think what you want but I’m sure he’s not cheating on Amber, that girl in Utrecht was only a misunderstanding…”

Oh, fuck, I should have kept my mouth shut.

“THAT GIRL IN UTRECHT? I KNEW HE’S A WHORE!”

She’s probably trying to sound like an enraged lion but she rather reminds me of a furious kitten.

“It was just a stage diver girl… she climbed up on the stage, complimented his guitar play and asked him for a kiss… and since he only kissed her on the cheek, she stole a peck from his lips and then jumped back in the crowd, that’s all!”

Jesus, there’s no chance I get away with this.

“A peck on the lips, an orgy, what’s the difference?” she spits the words disgusted.

“He claimed she had been sweaty and smelled like cheap red wine, he shotgunned three cans of beer until he felt human again, I saw it with my own two eyes!” I lose my temper too and force her with my index and middle finger to keep eye contact with me. By this time we’re basically yelling with each other since the music got louder in the meantime and we have to outshout an evergreen disco hit of Donna Summer.

“Then be ready to spill bleach in those two eyes!” she points towards the guys and I can hardly believe what I see.

The three girls are already dancing in the middle of the bar and… Jeff, Stone and Dave… are joining them?

“Actually, Jeff is a better dancer than I thought, I would have assumed he moves like a bear… but he’s not bad at all…” Judy giggles surprised at our bassist who picked up the rhythm successfully by mixing basic disco dance steps with the moves of belly dancers. Meanwhile, Dave is swaying his hips back and forth keeping his two hands on the nape like a parody of male strippers. The girls appreciate them fooling around, apart from the black-haired one who’s too busy with activating Stone.

“But Stone… he seems to have left his dance shoes at home.” she acknowledges shaking her head with a half-smile. She’s basically reading my mind; he’s the only static feature of the scene, bobbing his head and tapping the beat with his foot, digging both hands in his pocket.

“Well, yeah… he doesn’t feel comfortable without his guitar. I remember them playing a gig in Stockholm when something went wrong with his Les Paul. He couldn’t fix it but his other guitar wasn’t tuned back… and it happened during the last song so it wouldn’t have made much sense to do it, I could have made it only by the end of it… So he put down the guitar but didn’t really know what to do, like you just don’t start to dance to Leash but standing on the stage like statue while the others are playing out of their minds looks also lame… So he tried to move to the music but to be honest, I thought he was getting an epilepsy attack…”

“Hahaha! Truly, he doesn’t seem to be familiar we the concept of dance at all…” she giggles staring at him, while he’s still standing at the same spot as if he was pinned to the ground. Only his bobbing gets more intense as the black-haired girl begins to dance him around with seductive hip circles.

“Maybe we should hang a guitar on his shoulders to make him bounce on one leg at least, as he does it at the gigs… WHOA! This so disgusting and vulgar! Look, how much he enjoys it!”

“How much?” I roar back since apart from the repeating hair flips and the constant smirk, the girl doesn’t receive much feedback from our Stoney. But for some unknown reason, Judy seems to be watching a different movie than me.

“He’s basically drooling…”

“Why? Because he’s smiling? Come on…”

In the meantime he’s forced to make a few almost dance moves in order to keep his balance since his partner decided to stimulate him by rubbing her back to his… which drives Judy completely out of control.

“GET A ROOM!” she jumps to her feet kicking her chair back. “I have to pee.” she announces with a sudden and suspicious nonchalance to compensate her outburst. But after making a few steps towards the restrooms, she turns back as if she realized she forgot to mention something. “To be exact, I also consider puking.” she adds sending a last icy look towards the target of her anger before she leaves with indignant gasps.

***

I still hate public toilets, especially those of bars. The compartments are narrow and dirty, and the bolt is mostly just a decoration without any useful purpose. Just like here. I have to hold onto the door handle, balance over the toilet bowl and try not to bang my head against the door at the same time; of course the seat is missing, not that I’d ever sit on it at a place like this one. At least I can tell I’ve done something for my abs today… Everything resonates to the pulsing rhythm of Hot Stuff; the song that have always landed on the record player whenever Effie or I or both of us have wanted to dance some shit out of ourselves… until now. It’s like it’s got stolen from me, it’s my song, it’s our song, and now they’ve desecrated it. I can’t imagine I could ever dance to it again without seeing that pathetic mating ritual in front of myself. At least the usual obscene drawings and messages on the wall distract me from playing that scene over and over again in my head. I’ve always enjoyed examining the scribbles in restrooms…. The only thing I can’t figure out is the huge amount of phone numbers, what’s the point in writing them on the toilet wall? Has anyone ever called a phone number found here? And if the answer is yes, what might the caller have said? “Hey, I saw your number at the loo while I was pooping and I immediately liked it so would you go out with me?”

Shit, that distasteful squeezing… I haven’t put much past him, anyway but somehow I thought he’s a more thoughtful guy, I mean, he’s a fuckin’ idiot but him being only a stupid fuckboy kind of surprised me. Whatever, it’s not my business. His girlfriend will be certainly happy for the “little gift” he will bring home for her, if he goes on like this…

I’m already with one leg out of the compartment when I hear the door of the room opening and the loud giggle of female voices makes me startle and pull back to cover.

“Oh my God, I still can’t believe we encountered them right here, right now!” a high-pitched voice peeps. It reminds me of the sound of a rubber chicken.

“Yes, I thought they stayed at fancy hotels and went to party to exclusive bars… and yet, they show up in our boring little town… and they are so nice guys!” someone else joins the gushing.

“Oh my God, Dave is so funny!” Rubber Chicken chirps.

Great. I’ve got trapped by the cheerleader group.

“Yes, he is… but I like Jeff the most… he’s got a good sense of humor too but he seems to be a serious guy at the same time… did you hear him mentioning he’s a painter too? Artists are very sensitive people… and Jeff alliterates with Jordan…” the speaking partner of Rubber Chicken adds sighing. “And Stone is a very handsome guy too but I don’t understand all of his jokes…”

You don’t even know how lucky you are, my child…

“That’s not a huge problem, since you won’t talk much with him, he’s mine.” a deeper, confident voice puts an end to the distribution of testosterone. She must be the Alpha Female who wrapped herself around Stone. Jesus, I don’t want to listen to them raping the guys verbally… I take a deep breath and walk out to the sinks… or I’d walk there if they weren’t blocked by the Three Graces who are very busy with fixing their makeup.

“Ahem… sorry…” I clear my throat because my silhouette showing up behind them in the mirror doesn’t really bother them in the process.

“Oh, I’m ready, come…” the admirer of Jeff turns back and sends a smile at me. She seems to be a kind girl, anyway. Alpha Female is still rubbing her eyelids, trying to remove the dark spots of superfluous mascara, while Rubber Chicken is following the procedure with undisguised wonder.

I squint in the mirror as I clean my hands under the running water. Alpha Female is tall, like, very tall, I look like a garden gnome next to her. Her skin is pale, even paler than mine but she’s not afraid to wear dark, smoky eye shadow and fiery lipstick. How do these girls do it? Every time I try to do something with my face, I feel and look like a five-year-old little girl who stole the content from her mom’s drawer. Even the tiniest change seems to be conspicuous and makes me want to tear my skin off… but she looks just gorgeous. It’s not fair.

“Oh my God, Claudia, that rouge looks so beautiful on you!” Rubber Chicken purrs.

So her name is Claudia. Why does that make me think of chlamydia?

“It’s beautiful and very functional.” Alpha winks as she pulls out the item in question of her purse to thicken her juicy-looking lips. “Water- and kissproof.”

Yeah, beautiful. Lipstick on a pig.

“Whadh?” Alpha freezes with slightly opened mouth.

Shit, did I say it out loud?

“Noothing… I just… sneezed…”

“Aha… hey… I shaw you adh dhe dhable widh dhadh dhudhe…”

“Really?” I ask back to win some time to decode the message behind her sloppy articulation.

“Yeah… Jeff said you’re with them too.” Alpha talks on to her own reflection before pressing her lips together for the sake of even texture. “Are you someone’s sister?”

Our eyes meet it the mirror.

“Oh yeah, I am, just like the massive majority of the female population of Earth.” I mumble as I tear a piece of paper towel.

“I mean, the sister of someone in the band or the crew, smarty-pants.” she rolls her eyes.

Oh. So we’re having a chitchat. As always, I start feeling uncomfortably of watching myself too long in the mirror so I begin to check my hair, even if it makes absolutely no sense since I braided it as tight as possible in the morning, my braids could survive even the shock wave of a nuclear explosion.

“I’m in the crew. As a member.”

Okay, I’m only the second cousin of a crew member but I doubt she would understand that degree of family relationships.

“Then you must know Stone very well.”

I know him better than I wanted to…

“Uh… yes, I kinda know him.”

“Ish he shingle?” Alpha inquires still finding tiny flaws in the artwork she’s creating.

“No, he’s got a girlfriend.” I answer quickly. “It’s a serious thing… I mean, as far as I know.”

Okay, I don’t know shit about his love life but he’s been touring for months and they are still together so it can’t be just a fling, I didn’t lie.

“Is she here too?” she turns suddenly towards me, drawing a circle with her index finger in the air.

“Oh no… no… she’s ahem, in Seattle.”

“Hahaha, then he’s single.”

Okay, I can’t really argue with this attitude properly.

“And what is he like? What type of girls he digs?” my interrogation goes on.

Should I say deaf-and-dumbs?

“Uhm… he’s an aloof weirdo so honestly, I have no idea.”

He’s the most distant member of the band and sometimes he does have an alien-like manner, so this time I didn’t lie either…

“You mean he’s shy?”

Jesus, if that’s the equivalent of “aloof weirdo” in your poor dictionary then yes, he’s shy, whatever…

“Sort of…”

“We can fix that, shyness is no problem to me… Yes, the lanky one is mine.” she smacks satisfied at her mirror image, examining the result with a content smirk.

“Do you have further questions or may I…?” I point with my thumb towards the door.

“I know everything what I need. Thanks, Peanut!”

Peanut? PEANUT??? My head is pounding as I escape back to the bar. It takes me long seconds to spot that Scully relocated to the table of the band members, he’s the only one there right now, though, since the others are standing at the counter to provide the supplies.

“Hey, what’s that?” I ask pointing at the shot glass in front of him as I plop down.

“It’s tequila but it’s mi…ne.” he waves resigned since I grab and guzzle it in the blink of an eye.

“Sorry, I needed it.” I shiver and frown. I’ve realized again that I hate tequila but it seemed like a good idea. “I met them in the restroom.”

“Whom?”

“The Slut Squad. They’re about to hunt the guys down.”

“So what? I think you’re overreacting, anyway, they are big boys and already know how to take care of themselves…”

I doubt it… The trio joins the guys and now they don’t even try to hide the official result of the sharing. Rubber Chicken and Jordan at least show some self-restraint but Claudia shifts to next gear, or maybe she even skips a few one since she laughs hysterically at every comment of Stone and tries to mesmerize him by staring at him with an irresistible smile And obviously, she uses every imaginable excuse to touch him. The guys offer their drinks gallantly to their temptresses who are now heading to us with awkward snickering. Of course Claude didn’t forget to stroke Stone’s upper arm to express her gratitude for the beer…

“Shit, they are coming… act naturally!” I nudge Scully.

“I act naturally, it’s you who’s turned into a rabid squirrel…” he grunts back.

“Shh… HI GIRLS!” I greet them hoping my voice doesn’t sound too fake and try to ignore that I can see Scully burying his face into his palms from the corner of my eye.

“Hi Peanut… and…?”

“Scully. Guitar tech.” he waves still keeping the facepalm with one hand.

“Oh my God, I love guitars!” Rubber Chicken exclaims.

“I used to love them too. But if you tune them so many times in a day that you start dreaming about them, taste changes fast, trust me. Nowadays I’m rather into trumpets.” he adds with a serious face.

“Oh… really?”

Poor Rubber Chicken, she’s obviously too slow to follow the usual pace of our conversations.

“Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers plays the trumpet too…” Jordan remarks.

“You’re right, have you heard their latest album? It’s…” I greedily seize the first reasonable topic they throw in but Claudia insists on discussing her project.

“He seems to have taken the bait. Dear God, he’s so sexy, I can’t handle…” she moans.

“And he’s got a first-class butt…” Scully sighs dreamily, which makes me bite my lips to suppress the laughter developing in my chest.

“Don’t torture me… do you think he likes me?”

Yes, I was thinking the same about the quitting of torture, you’re monomania is pure torment to us. But how can she ignore the fact so shamelessly that he’s not independent? Not available, forbidden fruit, taboo…

“As I said he’s got a…” I’m about to remind her of the relationship status of her victim but I realize it wouldn’t make any sense. I fell into the trap of thinking her mindset is similar to mine… motivation! That’s the key, in crime series, police officers always catch the murderer only after finding out about their motivations… And her motivation is… sex, of course. “…a charm. He’s so sweet, right? A real cutie pie!” I groan with the most plastic smile I can put on. Scully freezes for a second, and then almost chokes on his beer, probably thinking I’m losing my mind, but I’ve never been saner.

“Sorry, it’s just my reflux.” he hits himself in the chest with his fist.

“Look at his smile! And his laughter…”

“Yeah, his laughter, exactly…” that is as pleasant to hear as a chalkboard scratching “It’s such a pity for him…”

“How do you mean?” she jumps immediately on my remark.

I take a deep breath. If I go on, there’ll be no way back… and I should think about the consequences… But seriously, Judith Emilia Camden, just think back how he’s treated you since you met! You’re not his doormat. He deserves it, he’d deserve even much more. As I glance at him only to see his smug grin, I already know there’s no point in hesitating, I know what to do.

“I mean such a nice guy… but with his preferences, it’s so difficult for him to find the right girl…” I pretend concern.

“His preferences? What preferences?”

Maybe it’s the anger, maybe it’s the tequila but as I go on, my tongue gets totally out of control…

#Pearl Jam #pearljam #PearlJamfanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #eddie vedder #stone gossard #mike mccready #jeff ament #dave abbruzzese

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stratamuzak · 4 years

Text

Interview with Voltagehawk

STRATA: What artists in particular you are drawn to (alive or deceased) that you listen to for particular moods? Such as happy/sad/contemplative/etc… Explain why you might listen to one artist for a particular mood.

CHASE AROCHA When I want to feel inspired I listen to a lot of the different projects of Mike Patton. Be it Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Peeping Tom, or Tomahawk, the range of styles of music is so diverse that I’ve been listening for like 15 years and I haven’t gotten bored yet, haha. When I want to relax or chill, I love BadBadNotGood, an amazing jazz artist doing incredible arrangements all in a hip-hop context. It’s great! Or Ray Lynch, I really love his writing and use of counterpoint melody. Then if I’m getting hyped I put on something like Dying Fetus or Vitriol, or Maximum the Hormone. And any other time I’m blaring Kamasi Washington, Robert Glasper and Sturgill Simpson.

DAN FENTON I think a lot of the time music finds my mood. Sort of more a spiritual or cosmic connection. When I was a kid my mom would make us watch musicals if we stayed home sick from school. Jokes was on her because I hated school but I loved learning musical scores and how to write dynamic parts and movements. The fact that people like Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire, Frank Sinatra or Marlon Brand were also amazing actors only added to that unlikely education. I learned how to really feel music between that and the intense very bloody hymns we had to sing in church. I understand the sentiment but that shit is harder than a lot of black metal. “Are you washed in the blood of the lamb”. Hard core shit. Sorry, I digress. During the making of our most recent record which is called Electric Thunder and set for release later this year or early next (hard to navigate releases with all this pandemic shit) I listened exclusively to film scores, classical music and radio evangelists. I am not religious but I grew up in a preacher’s home and when I needed to get my creative push and anger at its peak, I listened to preachers who were clearly greed driven and motivated by the lust for power. It made my adrenaline rush in anger and it came out in the recording for sure. I am a huge fan of Hans Zimmer and Vangelis. Each of these artists move me in powerful ways. The juxtaposition of darkness and light both in traditional instrumentation and experimental synth based work. Just musical giants. When I am feeling frustrated about the social issues I see everyday in my East Nashville neighborhood I listen to KRS-One, Kamasi Washington, Outkast. A lot of protest music. I am in love with band IDLES from the UK. Such powerful lyrics tackling issues like the need for male vulnerability, equality for all and the seemingly ironic brutal beat down of toxic masculinity. That band is great if you’re happy, mad, sad, whatever.

STRATA: Do you have a process you go through prior to writing, playing, and even performing?

CHASE AROCHA I do a lot of breathing exercises like the Wim Hof techniques. I have generalized anxiety disorder and I used to get horrible debilitating panic attacks, it helped me get into breathing and meditation. Anxiety will never go away but you learn ways to live with it and push through your panic. I think about how much this means to me and how long I’ve spent doing it, I try to see that I value myself as a person and then from that thinking I can just let go and play music. Only approaching it with love and not worrying about mistakes because that’s how we learn.

DAN FENTON The entire thing is one process. Like a heros journey of sorts. I listen and meditate everyday, I believe in a cosmic river of inspiration that flows from an energy that is and has always been. I believe if you listen hard enough and give yourself to the music the muse will send your mind transmissions that may only be a section of a song, or perhaps they are an entire album, but everyday I show up. A few years ago I read this book called The War Of Art, by Steven Pressfield. In this book he describes the invisible force he calls the Resistance. The Resistance may be things both “good or bad”, but they are anything that keeps you from showing up for your art. So I show up everyday, you can ask the dudes in the band, they receive a work tape maybe twice a week with new shit to try out. If I don’t feel that muse working I don’t force it, but I instead wait on further transmissions from the cosmic womb. All sounds crazy, but my story is crazy, so crazy makes the most sense. In the studio I have many processes. I found while recording vocals I perform better in complete darkness, I have realized how much I live inside my head and how active my imagination is and equally ADD my eyes are. So when I can’t see it brings to life the imagery and the passion of the song. I can see all those people I write about, all the landscapes, the love, lust, joy and pain. I also do some method stuff, keep things in my pockets pertaining to a character I may be portraying in a song. Wanna be Daniel Day Lewis shit.

STRATA: Your own current project, discuss the process your music went through as you built each layer. From beginning to the end of it.

CHASE AROCHA This all started with our drummer Jarrad having a vision and going through trials and errors of finding the right people to execute that. Along the way Dan, Tyler, and I all came into the picture and that vision morphed into something we all felt was not even from us. Like we were an antenna receiving a signal and these riffs and lyrics quickly meshed into something I haven’t heard before. Part hard rock, part jazz, part punk and hardcore. All with this message of love and truth being the reason for living. To end the ones controlling our thoughts and dividing us or tribalism and greed. I feel like we made something worth listening to and that’s all I feel like you can really hope for.

DAN FENTON The self titled record that we have available now on all streaming platforms was two different profound stages in my life all in the making of one record. When we began, Jarrad and I partied a fuck ton, and I was descending into some serious personal shit with alcohol. It was bad, I couldn’t get through a day without way too high of a blood alcohol level. Before we finished vocals on the record, I stayed up one night working and drinking, perhaps I had never stopped from how many nights before, who fucking knows. Anyhow, I died for 9 minutes on the side porch of my house. Fully shut down, fucking dead. Mind you, I didn’t want to die, I just didn’t know how to lay off the bottle. Woke up in the ICU surrounded by my band, my wife and what few friends I had left. At that moment Voltagehawk became a complete family to me. I spent a stint in rehab (Jarrad drove me) and that was several years ago now. When I got out I went back to finish the record, make some amends and chase this thing out for real. So that was some info on the first record. The new Album which is a 13 song space odyssey named Electric Thunder, after our beloved Electric Thunder Studio owned and operated by our resident space wizard producer Geoff Piller, was not so dramatic. After I got my shit together and my mind cleared up I began to write everyday like a mad man. Song after song after song came like never before. I think we cut 15 songs out before we settled on the final 13. Our process as a band is often for myself or one of the other dudes to present a bare bones or often finished idea to the band and we run it through the Hawk Filter. The Hawk Filter is just the decomposition and reconstruction of every rough idea till it fits us. Which is silly to say because if we like, it we do it, not a matter of genre worship. Shit’s good, do it. Always do what’s best for the song.

STRATA: Can your music personally be an open door to breath and bend in the world of artistic exploration? In Other Words… how comfortable are you as an artist exploring other types of music and creating projects that might be totally different than what you are creating now?

CHASE AROCHA There is so much great music in the world in so many styles, why shouldn’t we try to explore them all! I’m always trying something I haven’t done before, not always as a challenge, but I would hope it’s natural for people to do in art. We shouldn’t be the same people we were 2 years ago, let alone 10. I love jazz, Death Metal, and country music. If you can find a really fun and genuine way to blend those then that’s absolutely what you should do! Don’t be tied down to what kind of music you’re making and just make music.

DAN FENTON That’s all we do all day. Everything on this planet, and above it, and in it’s majestic seas and mountains, all these people of all the cultures of all the world and their energy and their culture all influence and musical inspiration is welcome. Our philosophy is never say no, and jump off the cliff, and pull yourself back up. Meaning: try all the musical options then settle on the one we believe is the most amazing. So much of our influence is from cinema and books, video games, you name it. I’ll pluck a support cable on every bridge I see ‘til I am dead just to see if it speaks to me. Sonically there are no fucking rules, and if you impose rules, fuck your rules. We love to create, to talk about creating and then to birth something new is beyond amazing.

STRATA: Are you open to change your style, genre even, and approach to how and what you create every time you enter a studio? Or do you find once you have a formula in place do you find it best to stay with what you know? Many times artists will change how they approach their songwriting and even their recording staff/producers.

CHASE AROCHA

Like I said before, I believe that you should just make music and with that should come constant experimentation. When we record we find sounds from all over the place. From children’s toy instruments, to skateboard wheels spinning to imitate rain. Our writing is kind of always evolving and changing. Dan is an amazing writer who literally has lyrics and melodies pouring out of his hands and face. Everyday he has new ideas and records and sends them to everyone. Jarrad is great at taking those riffs and making suggestions on how the structure could be of a song along with feel. I am obsessed with adding layers of guitars however I can, but I also write a lot and send tracks as well. Tyler is a tone junkie on the bass, filling in the bottom end and has such a great approach to being independent from the guitars with his lines. We send tracks back and forth to each other then we get in a room and flesh them out. The whole time in the process the songs are constantly changing and evolving into the sound we have. We are always open to change and never believe in the word No when discussing music and art. You try every idea and see what works and what doesn’t. Sometimes when one member has a vision of how a song should go and is trying to communicate that, you should respect his idea and see it through. If it doesn’t work that’s okay, we tried!

DAN FENTON Voltagehawk is ever evolving. As it stands, we spend way too much time trying to pigeon hole what people will refer to our sound as. I don’t care what you call it as long as it moves you. I listen to everything from John Coltrane and Tom Waits to Napalm Death and Motorhead, Antonio Lucio Vivaldi to Kamasi Washington. IDLES and Bad Brains. If you refuse to evolve as an artist, experimenting, growing, trying new methods, all these elements then you cannot grow as a human being. Too many people are happy where they are, just okay, making the same music that their dads made and trying to cosplay some kind of yesteryear. We don’t do that shit, we’re us, that’s it. We grow, when you hear the Electric Thunder for the first time you will understand everything. If you burn some sage next to a photo of Carl Sagan while you listen to Electric Thunder, you will see the cosmic river in your minds eye. The world is full of people with a blockage in their brain. They cannot see that this bullshit we call a life is just a series of labor for hire gigs that leave us rapidly in the middle. We’re trying to break away from it all and follow our feathers, our truth, our search for enlightenment on our hero’s journey. I’ll leave you with this. Know Thyself.

#voltagehawk

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