#i have exile brainworms still

[vigilskeep]

okay i kind of like cal i’ve been doodling him from what i got in the character creator... the mid length hairs improve greatly as soon as you use your mind powers to apply aragorn visual references to your prince in exile

i’m thinking of using the “softer” dialogue options in the origin... charming rogue, cunning-based because he never had the strength to be a warrior, easily most likable of the princes, good at dodging fights and pleasing everyone but doesn’t actually have the ruthless edge to succeed in orzammar? getting brainworms from the trian apologism choices and the fact that m!aeducan still gets, like, the “it’s nice to have such pretty things” dialogue about surface silks etc. it would be fun to play a “gentler” warden when i usually do ambitious freaks & honour-bound warriors. (and the obligatory questions that brings up about whether you can be anything but brutal at the top of an utterly brutal power structure. spoiler alert, not until you spiritually die and come back wrong)

also i like to link the thematic setup to the romantic interest and starting out with “prince who was too soft to survive cutthroat politics” is fun i think to go with morrigan’s “survival and power is more important than love and beauty”. easy dramatic question being, is she right? your love and your trust and your gentleness destroyed you, so do you need to harden yourself and your companions to have any hope of defeating the blight? or is there no point surviving if you have to kill that part of yourself to do it? is that anything

[eilinelsghost]

hi frankie!! thank you so much for the ask, very excited to come up with a five sentence prompt for you! if you're up to it, 'he had long struggled to imagine what it would be like to speak of this grief, this love, to the ones that had known him before.' pls?

He had long struggled to imagine what it would be like to speak of this grief, this love, to the ones that had known him before. But when it came, it was the ease of it that surprised him. She had wedded one of the Returned in the time since the Exile—indeed he remembered him from the Mithrim Avari, Gondil of the folk of the lake, a weaver ere he perished in the Bragollach—and in that bond she had learned much already of Beleriand's grief, of its transience and the longing, the unending pain of its loss. Thus at his own return she saw in one glance what the others had not marked and sought him out when the formalities were finished and the dinner cleared away. In the still starlight of the garden she came near him with none of the anger he had dreaded, she set her hand upon his cheek and there was understanding in the touch.

"Ingo." Amarië's voice was quiet. "Dear one."

"Niéle," he whispered in return and tried to summon a smile, then gave in to the grief and let his tears run loose as she gathered him within her arms. "His name was Balan."

See A Heady Fragrance of Honey for the background on Finrod's use of Níéle as an epessë.

Well I fully gave up on trying to keep this to five sentences, but that's entirely your fault for sending me a first line that set all the brainworms in motion. Thank you so much for this prompt! I loved working on this one and might have to add it to the future WIPs...

[rizaposting]

10 5 good things/things I'm proud of this year

Thank you to @aicasey for tagging me! ;w; I shortened it to 5 because hhhuuuuuuu it's been a year lmao

I successfully moved out of my apartment on my own. With the exception of one of my friends coming to help me move boxes down the stairs to a uhaul box for a few hours, I was completely on my own to plan, decide what I was going to do with my stuff, pack everything up, clean, get a permit, and all the other shlock that accompanies moving. It was extremely annoying and stressful but I did it! And I somehow got my full security deposit back so hell yeah.

Hot! Girl! Summer!!! Which is what me and my dear friends call it when I drive down to see them (regardless of gender or the time of year). We got together three times this past year! Which is great because we lived at minimum 4 hours apart but after I moved I DID drive 8 hours to see them so we could have Hot Girl Halloween and watch the FNAF movie together. I love them both so much :] I love them so much I would brave the Jersey Turnpike for them, even.

Over the summer I got into Berserk. I started by watching the 97 anime and was so enthralled that I read all 373 chapters that were available at the time in two weeks. I'd never had two hyperfixations at the same time before (FMA and Berserk) and I think it accelerated the speed at which my cells die. Berserk is currently on a kind of hiatus due to the circumstances of its production, so the hyperfixation has died down a lot, but I still cry and wail about Casca whenever I think of her on a regular basis, I love her so much. I've never binged through something so long in such a short period of time before hahaha.

Earlier this year, my beloved dnd group finished our first campaign! We started in ~February 2019 and ended ~Feb/March 2023 so it was almost exactly four years. It's the first long campaign I've ever finished, and it was so emotional and fulfilling and I LOVE those characters and the world so much!!! My character was Osirah Dirncath, a dragonborn paladin shunned from her templar order and exiled to what she was told was a war-torn wasteland, only to find out she'd been fed propaganda her whole life and the world outside her home was indeed thriving and beautiful and worth saving. She was a slippery lesbian lizard with crippling Catholic guilt who stayed kind and hopeful no matter what. She had to sacrifice her own patron god to kill The Devil, From Bible. She fell in love with our group's monk, Compassion, and in the epilogue they get married and have a baby together named "Mercy".

Maybe it's a bit of a cop out BUT my last one is going to be: producing more insane Rizaposting content (and art and writing!) and reaching out to other people who have similar brainworms. I had been putting off getting back onto tumblr, but it has been so neat getting to talk to more people. I'm always so self-conscious about things so it's nice to just... embrace being weird and silly and unwell, and just have fun with my creative endeavors. I'm looking forward to talking to more people and drawing more and writing more and posting more riza-ramblings in the new year. Gotta feed them leeches, babygirl!

This year was rather uneventful but still hard for me, mentally. It's nice to try to pull some positives from it haha. I'm not even going to say anything that could possibly jinx 2024, so all I'll say is that I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year's. We never do anything special, so I'll just be vibing with a cheap bottle of fruit wine.

I'm a bit late getting around to this, so I don't want to tag anyone and have them feel obligated to do anything last minute. If you've read this far and want to do it, I'm officially tagging you!!!

[recitedemise]

𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁, miss daughter of despair. I have a bias considering all I talked about with @nerimoi, but the idea of two wildly devoted followers being cast aside from their goddesses is niche. Of course, this is speaking to Shadowheart pursuing the exile route, but I have my thoughts about the Dark Justiciar angle, too. In the former, both she and Gale have a deep wanting and gnawing regret. Unlike the other members of the group, they actually love their authority figure, and being spurned from these beings that had both their hearts and bodies to is a severance that rocks them a tremendous deal. Lae'zel has allegiance to Vlaakith as well, of course, but while Vlaakith cruelly betrayed her loyalty, it was Gale and Shadowheart that felt the betrayers. They feel they deserve the silence. They both have to grow beyond the guilt. Together, they share this terrible thread of being the former, ill-fallen Chosen, and watching Shadowheart fight to learn how to pull from not the Shadow Weave, Gale sees himself fighting to cast with his Karsus orb.

But pursuing godhood? Well. Gale has the potential to feel he deserves more than he's ever gotten. From anyone. From Mystra. It's interesting, though. He, as a follower of Mystra, is supposed to be directly opposed to Shadowheart. However, after being so cruelly discarded, there is avenue for Gale to work perhaps in spite of Her--this evidenced when he proposes that he become a god. There, he expresses a want to better the world. He'd use magic in ways he was never once able to, harness power with heights beyond mortal reckoning, and he would reach his full potential just as he's always dreamed of--and, mind you, notably craved for. I remember the moon lantern, how Shadowheart had talked to Gale over it. He was hesitant, of course, knowing Mystra would forbade him from using that magic, but Shadowheart told him to cast away his reservations. Forget Mystra. This could be yours. Do as the Dark Lady bids. It's manipulative, yes, but it speaks to that side of Gale that quietly wants that magic. He knows what's allowed and what isn't under his faith, but he's still a man with a ravenous need for knowledge and more. With Shadowheart, Gale can be something impossibly disastrous. And what if Gale does attain godhood? What would Shadowheart do? There can only be one god as far she's concerned, but if Gale, in time, becomes warped with all that corruption-hunger... It's a brainworm. Maybe, just maybe, they can forge a despicable, sourly beneficial partnership.

Shadowheart, Ms. Dark as Their Nights, works curiously well with Mr. Magic and Stars.

[glambots]

I just have to share this cause i've had brainworms about it since I heard the song im gonna mention. this is NOT a request, just a thing i wanted to share! any and everyone is free to take my ideas here and run with em!

So, I found a song called The Court Jester by thquib/Joe Swensen, and then an amazing cover of said song by Sanguine. As i kept listening to the song, and thinking about the lyrics, it inspired a sort of AU? or something? and i've just now gotten the confidence to share.

This might get cut off or something, since i dont know the current limits on asks. Also, preemptive apology for my rambling lol.

The italics (slanty text) is the lyrics, the normal text is my thoughts.

----------------

I am the Jester, my job's to entertain

And it seems that soon enough it too will be my job to reign

Over all that you see, over all that you know

As the king is slowly dying, any moment he could go

Yes the king is slowly dying, any moment he will go

This section is the introduction to the DCA, who notices how the Fazbear Company is slowly dying due to his change to a childcare bot from his old job, and how less and less people are coming, and things they overhear from others. This section is also mainly a flashback to when the Pizzaplex was still open.

Oh! Sweet memories, come rushing back to me

As I trace my fingers on these haggard walls within your keep

Though my exile still stands, I heard my duty call to me

Because I am the Court Jester, I've grown tired of my sleep

After all, I am the jester, and I've tired of my sleep

This section flashes forward to a damaged looking DCA wandering a ruined Pizzaplex. It’s clearly been at least 10 years since the Plex fell into disrepair, due to all the overgrowth.

What good is a crown if the brow it sits on is that of a dead man

I'll wear my cap and painted smile with pride, my trusty baton in my hand

And you will see me, sire, I'll make my way back to you

You cannot stop me sire, your time is up, I see right through you

Mostly flashback again here. Mostly shows the DCA’s prime in their original job. With the last couple lines, it flashes forward again to the DCA’s damaged hand clenching in anger.

Though resolute you may pretend to be inside your walls

The people soon will realize that your feeble body can't forestall

The inevitable end that we all will one day meet

You are human, you are dying, yes know I it's bittersweet

But you knew this day would come, and you can't borrow steal or cheat

Yes, your maker gave you time, but you've run out, and soon you'll meet

The DCA continues to wander the ruined Plex, with flashbacks to when it was open throughout.  (or maybe someone else could think of something more interesting for this part, idk.)

I was awoken by some nibbling in my brain

A single thought, just like a knot, a stone, a weight I can't explain

That sat there pulling me to consciousness and waking soon I found

Myself entrenched in ancient earth, with roots and vines my arms were bound

And in this post-hibernatal state my mind was filled with clouds of doubt

Were these my memories? or something else? and soon I felt the urge to get out

Flashes to the DCA waking up buried under rubble some time after the Fire Ending. They are covered in plant growth, showing it’s been at least a few years since the fire.

Tearing, ripping, painful as it was

Vines and leaves gave way easy just because

All that's left in this world is decay;

Soon I knew what caused me to awake

The DCA suddenly sits up, and begins freeing themself with surprising strength.

With a newfound memory after rest

I felt something bubbling in my chest

Soon I felt myself losing control

Peals of laughter rang into the distance from my soul

I cannot recognize a single thing in front of me

The world as I knew it now is gone, is this reality?

Absurd and nonsensical, fantastical and daft

All that is left to do is sit right down and laugh

After resting for a moment after freeing themself, they remember what happened up to the building collapsing. They laugh as they realize they were completely forgotten there, the thought nearly breaking them. The instrumental part is just them sitting there.

Oh this world that I left you in

Has been tainted by your sin

And as such I have now taken it upon myself

To reinstate the reign of laughter and in health I will return

Oh I am making my way back I will return

Soon the people will remember the reason why they burn

And the fires in their might will start to turn

Pointing fists and shouting out with no more reason for concern

The DCA decides to try to find anyone they can, human or bot, and figure out what has happened since the fire. They meet some human they knew from the Plex, and they team up. Slowly, they start telling the world what happened.

Soon you will see! the world will turn upon its head!

Just you hope that you can see it 'fore you're dead!

Foolish king, you sit in empty meaning on your throne

But in my time away you've ended up alone

Oh, all the power in the world could never save you now

As the time at which your curtain's called draws nearer, get ready to take your bow

The age of reason is now drawing to a close!

And now I, the mere Court Jester, will his majesty depose

I will tip the gilded throne, in me the people will repose

Because I am the Court Jester, not all thorns come with a rose

After all, I am the jester, and this future I propose:

Let the fool, let me, the jester, bring the olden tales to close

Let the fool, let me, the jester, a new saga now compose

In this last section, there is a big time skip. The events eventually leads to a sort of sapient robot rights revolution. The vast majority of people support the idea, so those in power are “alone”. The ending could be either more positive, with humans and sapient bots living in peace, or whatever else you could think of.

Love when the Brain Animatics take over, it is a burden we all must share.

[tinywitchdraws]

Feyd fanfic idea/prompt

ok, just sharing this because it feeds my brainworms.

Feyd goes to visit his father and still alive mother in exile to formalize his engagement. Fiancee comes along because she would like to meet his family, much to Feyd's surprise. Feyd is hesitant and very uncomfortable at first, but as his fiancee begins to get along with them he starts to relax. Then, when his fiancee is away preparing food with his father, Feyd's mother pulls him aside and says:

"I will not have you bring your poison into this house."

His mother then goes on a rant where she says that he was always evil and brings misery wherever he goes. They have had quiet and peaceful years in the house for a while, and she will not let him ruin their lives again. He contemplates killing his parents right then for this, but doesn't- realizing that would only prove his mother right.

Feyd tries to leave in the middle of the night, leaving his fiancee a note explaining that the relationship is over and that she's better off without him.

I say tries to leave in the middle of the night because he walks about 20 minutes away before he sees his fiancee sprinting up behind him. Totally covered in blood. He turns to see the house burning in the distance. Feyd asks his fiancee what happened, assuming the house was attacked.

They weren't attacked, fiancee decided to kill them and burn the evidence after they read Feyd's letter.

"They forgot." Fiancee wheezes angrily, "That I'm your poison."

[ataryutaro]

Top 5 High&Low characters? 👀

this is a hard question, i hope you've got a minute to read all this

fujio - no matter what url i have, no matter what my favorite exile group is, it's still fujio because characters like him are hard to come by. the entire franchise is based on the notion that friendship and family are the most important things in life and fujio shows exactly that. he's fun and funny, he's incredibly easygoing and he's smart in his own way if you get what i'm saying ;)

smokey - again with the family thing but also, there's something about the quiet confidence smokey has that draws me in, you have to be a very good person for this many people to follow you and never doubt you. everyone likes smokey, every character likes smokey even so this one isn't surprising in the slightest

tsujishiba - cheated a bit but they count as one, do not separate. they might not be main characters and honestly that's a shame since takaryu are good actors but the one moment in the worst series where they contemplate why they actually follow todoroki and then they all meet in front of the school and smile at each other, that gave me the biggest serotonin boost and made me like tsujishiba as characters even more; going against what everyone says, supporting your friend through thick and thin. as you can probably tell, i'm a big fan of friendship

yuken - what a silly little man. i'll be honest, akihisa portraying yuken influenced this a lot since he's one of my favorite actors but it's him who gave him the distinct charm of a person who can't keep his words and hands to himself, i'm quite literally obsessed

amamiya brothers - aren't they just fun? hiroto is a little bitch and masaki somewhat reminds me of fujio or vice versa with how silly yet strong and reliable they are. takeru can join this list even though we barely saw him but he still protected his family until his last moment which made me sentimental

to conclude this with the way my student once spoke about his favorite anime, hailo isn't just a franchise but it is my LIFE. my brainworm series that i can't let go of and recommend watching if you haven't already :)

[spectres-fulcrum]

A little brainworm I got at work yesterday but: We were playing some random Christmas music("Love" working at a grocery store in Nov/Dec, Xmas music started Nov 5th) and there was some sad Christmas love song about how how could it be Christmas time he didn't have his lover? The song is very eh.

But it got me thinking about how Thrawn must have felt that year or two after he sent Eli to Ar'alani because Eli taught him all the Lesser Space holidays and they must've celebrated them for some 12, 13 years together, sometimes on Coruscant, sometimes with shipmates, probably some Lysatra and Chiss holidays just the two of them. Observed sacred days, laughed over how the ships got over romantic days, exchanged gifts with friends(Admittingly, mostly Eli) and each other one the correct holidays, shared meals with others, made Lysatran food together, got drunk on new year's eve together, attended gala for Empire Days. And suddenly he was alone.

But it was the loneliest kind of lonely. The kind where he had Faro and Pyrondi and Hammerly and the rest of the bridge crew making an effort to do group holidays to fill the gap but it still feels so lonely because Eli taught him all of these traditions. The foods to eat, the things to say, when and who to give gifts to. And so he observes it all, but doesn't celebrate because it doesn't feel like the past years. He quietly celebrates the Lysatran holidays with more care in private. The Chiss holidays feel just as lonely as they did during his exile years. Thrass' death anniversary wrecks him that year.

It's a very lonely year that he tells himself he signed up for and he knew was coming so he tells himself he doesn't get to complain. That doesn't make it easier. For him or the people seeing him suffer.

I may play around with this idea more. idk. Feel free to work with it.

[trenchcoatsbi]

So uh funny story, I can't find the huge cave city. I have no idea where that world went-

So instead here's some screenshots of when I got brainworms over a fic and started to create a world that could be used to roleplay a similar universe

these are the five houses I ended up finishing before brainworms died, and I'm really proud of them! They've all completely unique, with different colors and layouts and backyards!

There were more houses planned, but this whole project relied on me still having motivation and then the second semester of school hit and. I gave up

This is just a fun hotel and a zoo!!! Not much to say tbh. It's there, and a fun challenge is to land on the very top of the evergreen in front of the hotel with elytra wings!!

If you see that small ring of lite behind the crimson enclosure, no you didn't that's part of the lore that normal people don't know about (said lights are also visible in the top picture)

Here's the city in the woods!!! Since this was a superflat world I had to grow the entire forest myself and I am very proud :D This place is suppose to be a hideout for the hybrids who were exiled from the normal city into the woods, and it's really homey!!! It's got a wheat farm, a sugar cane farm, and a bone farm in the sky!! Each member gets their own house (or they share one) so each one is able to be personalized!

So yeah, sorry I can't find the cave city, I'm gonna have to look for that one, because I have no memory of deleting it...

Yooo!!! Those are all so cool! gah i love seeing other people's builds!

I didn't add onto the other posts where you were talking to tom n wil but fr you're really good at this stuff! I love that you're sharing these with us it's just delightful to see :D! -za

[dragonologist-phd]

Cassia Whitlocke (The Exile)

You heart hurts. But you’re fine. Your jaw aches from the held in tears, but you’re okay. You’re broken, but so is just about everyone else. You need to be strong. You need to keep it together. You can handle this! You’ve always been able to handle everything else, so why should this be any different?

- @exilethegame

template here

full Cassia playlist here

[feralandmoonstruck]

“You know, I prefer you naked, but that dress also looks breathtaking on you.”

@bloodlessheirbyjacques 👀

Here you are @bloodlessheirbyjacques I doubt that I did either of them justice, but I took the brainworms and ran with them. Enjoy! 😘

WC: 1107

Warnings: Knives, blood

Alek looked up from where he’d been toying with the dagger, any thoughts that had been spinning though his mind snapped into their places as the door opened. Elijah had been scrubbed clean, though his wounds still spoke of the things he’d been through. The things Alek had put him through. But tonight, he planned to finally break him of all that smugness the pirate never seemed to be able to let go of.

“You can put him there,” he directed to the guards. “I want him on his knees. Don’t let him move.” Elijah garbled unintelligibly from behind the piece of cloth that had been shoved there to serve as his gag. Alek just watched, his eyes dancing as Elijah was chained down.

    Once the guards were gone and it was just the two of them, Alek crossed the room to stand above Elijah. “I hope you like the presents I brought you.” Elijah struggled against his bonds, his face going red with the force of his muffled shouts. “I’m feeling generous tonight, so I think I do you a small favor.”

Elijah glared as Alek bent over him and untied the knot holding the gag in place. He had the forethought to grab the pirate’s curls just in case Elijah had any plans to headbutt him. He ran his fingers through those thick locks, a smile playing at his lips at just how *soft* they were once washed clean of sweat and blood. “You know,” Alek whispered in his ear, lips so close they brushed his skin, “I prefer you naked, but that dress does look breathtaking on you.”

    “What the fuck are you playing at?” Elijah demanded the moment he was able to spit out the gag.

    “Think of it as a wedding present. From both of us. After all, you *are* the one who made this possible,” he lifted the wedding dagger with a smile. “It felt unfair to not show our thanks in some way. I always told you that she would come to me in the end. We all know that she’s far too go for you, and now you’ve seen it for yourself. *tasted* it for yourself. I hope it was to your liking. He rose to his feet, forcing Elijah to look up at him.

    “What the fuck does that mean?”

    Alek tilted his head to the side, tapping the flat of the dagger against his lips as if in deep thought. “Really? A man who claims to have held her heart for-” he let the silence draw out until Elijah opened his mouth to respond, then Alek resumed his sentence- “you would think that someone accustomed to sharing Astrea’s bed would know what she tastes like. I told you the gift was from both of us.”

    Elijah swore, but Alek’s fingers still buried in his hair gave a sharp enough tug that he couldn’t help but wince. “I assume that means you don’t like the dress either, even though I had it altered just to fit you.”

    “You think dressing me in my wife’s-”

    “My wife’s,” Alek corrected, yanking at Elijah’s curls again. “Say it, Elijah or I’ll take you back to being tortured in the dungeon.”

    “That doesn’t scare me.”

    Alek flipped the edge of the wedding dagger against Elijah’s cheek so fast it drew a thin line of blood. “So say it and I’ll keep you here to have a little fun before sending you back.”

    “You think dressing me in *Astrea’s* wedding dress was some sort of gift?”

    “A gift for me, yes. It symbolizes all that you had once hoped to have is now mine. And you’re just an afterthought that will only be remembered as the exiled heir that faded away into nothingness.” He leaned in close enough to lay his cheek against Elijah’s, only the dagger between them. “And Elijah,” he traced the tip of his tongue up the line of blood on his cheek, “I hope you can feel Astrea and I both there. I fucked her in that dress.” He pulled away, eyes dancing at the rage on Elijah’s face.

    “Fuck you, Alek.”

    He grabbed Elijah’s chin, forcing him to watch the grin unfolding on Alek's face. "You'll have to beg much harder than that, pirate." Elijah spat in his face. Alek jerked back, carefully wiping the spit away before smearing it into Elijah’s skin. "You're starting to wear on my patience."

"Good."

"It only means that I'm going to enjoy this even more." He drew the edge of the blade against Elijah’s jaw, trailing it down his neck and to the edge of the dress. His other hand buried itself in Elijah’s hair again. He pressed the point of the dagger through the fabric of Astrea’s dress. He dragged it downward, cutting through cloth and Elijah’s skin.

Elijah hissed at the bloom of blood unfolding on his chest. Alek’s gaze flickered up to him. For a moment, their breathing and the steady rip of fabric were the only sounds in the room. “What do you think she’ll say when she finds out you cut up her dress?”

“That I found an excellent use for a garment that had already served its purpose. Better this than letting it go to waste. She would thank me for the idea of ripping up two things that no longer have any meaning to her.” When the knife reached his navel, Alek pulled it away. He began the arduous task of cutting the fabric from Elijah’s arms, his thighs, his back until he was gasping in pain from the weeping rivulets of blood. Bruises were cut through, sealed wounds reopened, anything to feel the sweat break out over Elijah’s scalp. Anything to steal his breath. When the dress was finally in blood-soaked tatters Alek wiped the blade clean against Elijah’s cheek.

“Thank you for this wedding gift, you really shouldn’t have gone through all the trouble.” He stood and called for his guards to drag his prisoner back to the cells to be forgotten.

[mynameisemma]

Okay this brainworm has been eating me since this morning so here it is:

I've never seen Dolokhov arranging the elopement as a sight that he cared deeply about Anatole mainly because the successful elopement would ruin his life for sure and Dolokhov is well aware of that. Anatole would end living abroad, most likely totally broke, with a girl who would come to hate him pretty soon after the elopement and her hatred would probably be mutual. Coming back to Russia would mean for Anatole to have face 1) a challenge from either Nikolai or Andrei and 2) problems with law. Serious ones (I highly doubt Vasily would be able to save his ass this time, with a noble girl involved, and also, Anatole (and Dolokhov) is canonically said to have committed enough crimes to have been sent into exile to Siberia if they were revealed. So yeah...). Dolokhov is well aware of all of that.

And yet he goes and gets them passports, finds a half of the sum an a priest to marry Anatole and Natasha, still well aware he's arranging the ruination of Anatole and Natasha's lives.

One could argue that Dolokhov tries in the end to talk Anatole out of this but I've always seen this as warning rather than any serious attempt to stop this burning train: Sonya, who is mirroring Dolokhov in this episode, watches Natasha very intently after their fight, guards the doors of her room and is ready to stop her by force if needed while Dolokhov is like "dude, don't do that, it's a bad idea actually" several times until Balaga arrives. But most interesting thing for me here is that Dolokhov described as amusing himself at Anatole's expence when he's warning him. This contrast between the character's and the author's words always seemed strange to me until I realized something.

I believe Dolokhov has this quite harsh "You deserve to get backfired by the stupid shit you done" philosophy. You can see it when Dolokhov cheers Pierre when he wants to repeat his windowsill bet (drunk, heavy and clumsy Pierre would certainly fall down and Dolokhov knew it; by the way, Anatole was the one who distracted Pierre back then) or when Pierre challenges him. You kinda see it here too but there's one nuance...

I think Dolokhov was actually offering him a chance to stop everything there when he was warning them. But Anatole, this man with maturity level of a preschooler, couldn't even comprehend what was happening there. And having known Anatole for many years, Dolokhov probably was aware of that too. In this light, him described as amusing himself at Anatole's expence hits different I guess.

I don't think Dolokhov didn't care about Anatole at all since he die save his ass in the end and besides they both participated in too much reckless shit to not develop some kind of bond, lol. I just really can't see them being deeply attached to each other or being ride-or-die for each other. In fact I think them being not really emotionally invested is what makes their relationship viable.

But the way all this was presented — Dolokhov being fully aware he's offering Anatole a choice he cannot understand and therefore cannot make and then proceeding to ruin his life after he refuses to stop; and the fact that he did offer him a choice because he did care for him to some extent but not enough to stop everything himself — low-key drives me crazy.

[sylvctica]

I’ve been meaning to write this for a little while, it really is just a small thank you note to the community and all the people I have written with so far and see on my dash !

I’ve been wanting to get back into tumblr RPing for quite a few months but my creative juices have been stretched thin and far; although I love, love my albino baby boy and he’s still an active muse for me, he’s gotten to a very settled place in life and development. I was thinking of making a Genshin AU for him but honestly the inside joke is that he’s Razor due to albinism, lightning powers, and wolf theme.

So ... in comes Sylvie instead.

This is mostly just a history blurb of how Sylvie came to be more than anything -- but overall as well, I do want to thank you all for making my time on tumblr wonderful and helping me to flesh out Sylvie even further as a character that’s become immensely precious to me, especially when I didn’t expect them to.

Sylvie honestly was made as a self-indulgent whim on (checks TH creation date) March 14th cause I have brainworms for Zhongli and wanted to make a god character based off the big tree in Mondstadt ... so I sat down and doodled a reference sheet and out popped Sylvie with smaller ears. My friend then suggested Sylvie as a name and it stuck.

God, little did I know my thirst would explode into a full character that I am hungry to develop.

(thanks me on march 14th. on a side note, thank you to everyone for putting up with my absolute thristy brainworms i have on frequent occasion. i formally apologize NFDHFNSFHSEFESG.)

At this point I was hungry for more Genshin lore, with the release of more info on Khaenri’ah, Celestia, and all that it made me want to explore it through a character that would’ve had personal experience with it -- especially with knowing that ex-gods were essentially exiled and we know of no other gods being around that aren’t the Archons. So ... why not one who was still around?

Ever since making more god-type OCs I’ve loved the aspect of exploring them and the dichotomy between being a god and being human, learning emotions and faults, and experiencing things (such as grief) when one didn’t have to before. Genshin opened up that door for me fully MFDSFSGHESGN; an ongoing lore means reactions in the moments, anticipation for future changes and so on, which to me is a buffet for my brain.

I’ve also dipped into fandom OCs before and I’m the type that when I make an OC for a fandom, I get fueled to make one that fits into the world, that feels like they’d exist in there, to cover every little hole if need be. I may be making them for my own reasons but god be damned if I don’t flesh them out and rip my fingers into them.

I would’ve wanted to bring Sylvie earlier to tumblr because tumblr to me is just as big a buffet; although I plotted a lot in my own corner in the 2 months before bringing Sylvie over, it is isolated plotting and I’ve always thrived off development through RP and other people (gestures to Hideki who’s full 7-8 years of development all came through tumblr) and I’ve met a lot of amazing people through here.

Lack of a faceclaim kinda put me off until I sat my ass down to look through historical manhwas and try my hand at editing them and pop here comes Sylvie to be slapped down on tumblr with me frothing at the mouth as I tuck u all into my pockets and the rest is history.

If you’ve gotten to the end of this big blurb spiel, thank you!!! I feel like I can’t say thank you enough but I am genuinely happy; tumblr RP has been a big part of my life and a comfort and escape for years, so to be able to be back again with a fresh breath of air in a new OC and to see the wonderful writing and interpretations and characters from other people, the love poured into writing said characters, and to be part of chaotic shenanigans that eat at my sleep (with no regrets) ... I am happy. 

MAY WE ALL SUFFER TOGETHER THRU MHY’S DISASTEROUS PLANS FOR US ALL!!!

[grimxswathe]

Okay, so. This actually isn’t technically about Estinien and Katsu, since I wrote it for a friend after getting stuck with some brainworms. So, it’s centered around her character, Tala, and Thancred. They’re just about as cute as Esti and Katsu. I also got to mention a few Twitter buddies, too. :D 

Even though this isn’t Estinien x WoL, I hope you guys enjoy! The word count is 1,738 and it starts under the cut.

Tala pressed her back against a nearby wall and collapsed, pulling her knees in tightly against her body. When she had departed the Holy See, she had done so without a particular destination in mind. She just knew she had to get out of there. So she had idly wandered through the western highlands of Coerthas and into the Dravanian Forelands before ultimately arriving in the Hinterlands, where it just so happened to be absolutely pouring. It was eerily appropriate, given what had happened back in Ishgard. Estinien had taken Tala to Fortemps Manor, where he proceeded to ask her and Edmont for permission to marry Katu. 

When Tala had asked him to prove he was serious, he went into great lengths about how long he’d been in love with Katsu and how much he regretted being so stupid regarding his feelings. That was when Tala, on the verge of tears, asked Estinien to take care of Katsu before dashing out of the manor. Don’t get her wrong. Tala was absolutely thrilled for Estinien and Katsu. It was obvious just how much the couple loved each other and that they were meant to be together. She was also secretly proud of Estinien, who had come a long way from the “stubborn idiot” that Tala used to get letters from Katsu about on the Azim Steppe.

But that was the thing. Between the twins living with them and Estinien wanting to take the next step in their relationship, Tala was worried that she’d no longer play a crucial role in Katsu’s life and that scared her. She had taken it upon herself to care for Katsu ever since she had been accepted into the Malaguld tribe. The Azim Steppe was a dangerous place, afterall, and the Raen was vulnerable after being exiled from Sui-no-Sato. She had initially protested when Katsu had decided to travel to Eorzea, but understood deep down that the Azim Steppe was never where the elder one belonged. 

When Tala finally arrived in Eorzea, she had found Katsu badly wounded and violated from her time imprisoned at the hands of the Heavens’ Ward. After hearing about everything Katsu had been through in this strange land, Tala’s desire to protect her only grew stronger and she decided to stay in Eorzea. But traveling with the Scions made Tala realize that she was no longer the only person in Katsu’s life. The feeling that she was being replaced only got stronger the more time that passed and she now feared that Katsu’s espousal to Estinien would be the final nail in the coffin when it came to their friendship. 

It didn’t help matters that Tala still had some lingering feelings for Katsu and even though she had long since accepted that her heart belonged to Estinien, the thought of Katsu marrying someone else hurt. A small, selfish part of Tala still would have liked to be the one to marry her. In another life, what could we have been? Tala rested her chin on her arms as the question floated through her mind and sniffled quietly At this point, she wasn’t even sure why she was crying. Happiness? Fear? Jealousy? She just knew that she was overwhelmed and needed some time to let it all out.

The sudden sound of footsteps approaching her, however, caused Tala to flinch. 

“I swear, you damned dragoon, if you followed me-” 

“Now, now. I’m not Estinien.” 

Tala felt her heart leap at the sound of Thancred’s voice and she turned her attention to him. “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

“The ‘damned dragoon’, as you so eloquently called him, contacted me through linkpearl a few hours ago to tell me that you ran off on your own all of a sudden,” Thancred explained. ”He said you seemed upset about something, but otherwise wouldn’t go into details.”

“Of course he would,” Tala muttered indignantly. So much for privacy. 

“Is aught amiss? Did something happen between the two of you?”

Tala felt her eyes widen at Thancred’s question, offended at the implications. “Oh, gods no. He’s planning to propose to Katsu.”

“Well then, I can’t say I was expecting that. He didn’t strike me as the type to settle down, but then again I suppose that Katsu is a good influence on him.” 

“They’re good for each other,” Tala commented meekly.

Thancred’s expression softened as he took a step closer to her. “Then mind telling me what the problem is?” 

Before Tala had a chance to respond, he had knelt down at her side and was removing his jacket.

“Here,” he told her, draping it over her shoulders, ”I’d rather you not catch cold from sitting in this rain.”

Tala averted her eyes quickly, hoping that the weather rendered it too dark for him to notice her blushing. “Thanks,” she mumbled. “But, what about you?”

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been through much worse than some lousy weather,” Thancred told her gently. “You need it more than I do.” 

Tala remained silent, caught off guard by the uncharacteristically kind gesture from him. It was a few moments before Thancred addressed her quietly.

“So, what’s wrong?”

Tala released a gargled sound that was halfway between a scoff and a sniffle. “What makes you think something’s wrong?” 

“Well first, we both know that Estinien is far too blunt to lie about something like that. Secondly, you’re all but crying right now. Needless to say, something is obviously wrong.”

“I am not crying,” Tala protested, but then sniffled more loudly this time. “Okay, yes, I am.”

Thancred pulled Tala tightly into his arms just in time for her composure to finally shatter. She pressed her head into his chest, her hands grasping at his shirt as the tears spilled down her face. He rested his chin on her head and gave her a gentle squeeze. 

“Talk to me, then,” he whispered. “I’m here.”

“I’m so scared that Katsu won’t need me anymore,” Tala wailed. “She’s going to marry Estinien and they already have the twins living with them. They’re pretty much a family. Not to mention that she has so many wonderful friends now, like Kai and Sten.” 

“I see,” Thancred said slowly. “So, you’re worried that you’re being pushed to the side.”

“Yes,” Tala mumbled. “I know I shouldn’t be upset by that, but I am. We used to be the most important people in each other’s lives, so it feels like I’m being slowly replaced.”

“Hey now, that’s not true and you know it,” Thancred told her. “If Katsu didn’t want you here, she would have urged you to go home by this point. Tell me. Do either Kai or Sten know Katsu’s life story?”

“No…” Tala whispered after a long moment of silence. “Only Estinien does.”

“Well then, there you go. The fact that you and Estinien are the only two people that she trusts enough to really open up to should prove that she’s not about to replace you,” Thancred replied. “Sten and Kai may be good friends, but they aren’t you.” 

“I never thought of it that way…”

“That’s because your emotions were preventing you from seeing clearly. I’ve been there myself,” Thancred replied. 

Tala didn’t need to ask to know that he was referring to his time spent in the First, since the events that transpired there had left their marks on everyone. If only that was all it would take to help her feel better.

“That’s not all,” she mumbled. 

“Well, what else is going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“It’s so hard seeing her happy with Estinien,” Tala whispered, unsure of how Thancred would react. “I grew very fond of her during our time on the Azim Steppe.”

“Just to be sure I’m following, you’re saying you’re jealous because you have feelings for her?”

Tala nodded quickly, unable to speak past the lump that had developed in her throat. Thancred gave her a small smile and lightly began running his fingers against her back soothingly. 

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t tell you you’re wrong for feeling that way. Watching the one you love with someone else is one of the cruelest jokes fate can play on a person. You just gotta find solace in the fact that Estinien makes her happy and that her happiness is the most important thing you can ask for.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

Thancred chuckled. “I never said it was easy, Tala,” he said, his face growing somber. “Look. Katsu would only end up resenting you if you somehow got in the way of her relationship with Estinien and that is something you don’t want. Besides, as forthright as Estinien can be, you know full well that he’s deeply in love with Katsu and would do anything in his power to make sure she’s happy.”

“You’re right,” Tala admitted. “He’s a good man underneath that thorny exterior.”

“That he is,” Thancred agreed. “It’s just a shame that not many people get to see that side of him.” 

Despite herself, Tala laughed in response. “I wouldn’t have believed it existed if I hadn’t seen it for myself with Alphinaud and Katsu.” 

“I won’t argue with that,” Thancred grinned. “I too was fairly convinced upon our first meeting that he walked around with a stick up his ass.” 

Tala laughed harder at his comment, secretly thankful that Estinien had sent him after her. She didn’t want to think about how she would have found her way through her disarray of emotions if it hadn’t been for him. She gave Thancred a grin, causing him to blink in surprise.

“There’s that lovely grin of yours. I was wondering if I’d see it again,” he said, giving her a wink. “I take it that you’re feeling better?”

Tala blushed slightly and nodded her head. “Yes, I am.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Shall we head back to Ishgard, then, and let that ‘damned dragoon’ know that you’re okay?”

“Aye, we probably should before he has a conniption fit,” Tala said. She then leaned up to press her lips against Thancred’s cheek. “Thank you, Thancred.”

Through the rain, Tala was just able to make out the pink shade visible on Thancred’s cheeks. He coughed slightly as he let go of her before standing up and holding out a hand for her. 

“Come, then. We have a long trip ahead of us.”

[kirnet]

more kirnet lore bc the brainworms are terminal

form 4 master. she be spinning

also because ataru is like so force dependent with the acrobatics kirnet was fucked when she lost the force. completely incapable of a lot of physical activity for a while. she mined spice in her exile so she built up some physical muscle that way but that kreia quote abt “what is a jedi without the force” is super true

double bladed lightsaber user, mostly picked up from kavar. Her blades were pure white during the wars but her second lightsaber during kotor is a very light almost silver yellow green

that “more slaughter per swing” thing isn’t exactly true. shes hyper aware that double blades is actually worse in combat, so she baits people into aiming for a certain blade, turns it off, and gets them with the other one. her entire fighting style is about misdirection through the illusion of brute force. watching her is kind of like watching a strobe light because of how often she turns blades on and off. she rarely has both blades actually out at once

another thing she does is going into battle with just one turned on and then surprising the opponent with the other (again, very force intensive fighting styles)

bad at being a jedi for the above reasons! shes a little dishonorable shit who, while still being a follower of the light and driven mainly by compassion and a need to protect others, uses the most underhanded methods to do it (she becomes a jedi shadow in kotor)

lies! all the time! loves to joke about her exile. some favorites are “i got kicked out.” “I didn’t like the robes. they arent in fashion anymore.” “didn’t make enough credits as a jedi” “oh one day i tripped and hit my head and forgot how to use the force” 

was in love with revan :( didnt work out. would have definitely turned to the sith for her despite her dedication to the light 

fought with malak constantly kind of the way she argues with atton but 10x as aggressive. They were like siblings to each other also annoyed the fuck out of each other

very emotionally intelligent, esp with those shes bonded to, and very funny and charismatic. completely and utterly useless when it comes to actual flirting or romance did not learn this in jedi school

bad at flying. theres a reason atton has to take them everywhere (malak had her on a ship ban during the wars bc she crashed so many)

refuses to wear robes after the exile. just doesn’t feel right. does not help with how cold she gets

[astraseason]

hello naughty children i’ve been having brainworms today so i present to you: a twist on this super cool au concept by oneirio on twitter! thank you katya for helping me with a lot of plotting uwu

something strange happens when lilim first uses divine pulse to save edelgard from kostas’ axe: in a strange flux of divine power, leraie sees the events and end results of all four routes of three houses. with that vision comes his ability to emote and empathize.

realizing a war is coming with no way to avoid it -- and that the end result sees at least two of three of these innocent children dead, and fodlan only marginally better for it. ... cf aside, but like, again, iNNOCENT KIDS DYING -- he takes it upon himself to become a common enemy the nations of fodlan can unite against. to this end, he becomes a member of those who slither in the dark-- he plans to take advantage of edelgard’s end goal of destroying them when the church has been dismantled. he claims he is the sibling with sothis’ crest stone inside of him. with his ability to use the sword of the creator, leraie also bearing the crest of flames, and the fact that he even knows of them at all, they buy this.

he spends the school year setting up in secret: distancing himself from his sister, his father, the knights, and the students-- that way, when the time comes to face him, they will not hesitate. he’ll just be another enemy to them. come chapter 9, he stops kronya from killing his father, but openly turns on the group instead and leaves with her and thales.

he lures lilim into a trap, allowing her to fuse with sothis-- likely citing a pair of sacrifices being needed to do so, to throw tws off the trail --and deliberately acts very confused when she survives and escapes the darkness. ( this bit is a wip, honestly, but look if intsys can ass pull, i can do it here too. it’ll get better. )

from there, he sets up the exile of edelgard and hubert from adrestia, and deliberately fails to assassinate hubert in particular-- leraie knows full well how vital he is to there being any chance of tws being defeated, and attempts to steer them into hiding out in alliance territory; he knows cornelia must enact a coup of the kingdom, so hiding there would be fruitless.

( he finds an unexpected ally in hubert’s father, who recognizes his silent loyalty to edelgard over tws and has decided to support it. )

finally, with arundel seizing control of the imperial army and declaring himself emperor, those who slither in the dark march on the church of seiros. war still descends upon fodlan. rhea is still captured. lilim vanishes. five long years of a desperate defense effort drag on, until lilim re-emerges.

leraie secretly meddles in cornelia’s coup of faerghus, again ensuring that when dimitri ( and dedue! ) escape, they are driven to where claude can find them.

claude has been hiding edelgard and dimitri in leicester territory ever since discovering them there, and once their old professor returns to them, he deems now as good a time as ever to finally fight back, reclaim adrestia and faerghus, and ultimately be rid of those who slither in the dark. knowing that despite having the church’s and what remains of the kingdom loyalist’s support will not be enough against the empire and tws, he enlists almyra’s help.

in the end, leraie is faced as the final boss. he carries a dark verson of a hero’s relic, a lance-- though a unique one, not a dark lance of ruin or luin or even areadbhar. the name is pending, though. having been stuck with the slitheries for five years, he has also been subjected to numerous experiments-- he has been given not only one more, but two: the crests of riegan and blaiddyd, harvested from godfrey’s corpse ( as the slitheries are heavily implied to be involved with that death ) and a crest-bearing cousin of dimitri’s that was abducted during rufus’ murder. ( in cf, dimitri mentions there are more blaiddyds out there; given rufus was never killed here and there’s no way dimitri of all people had a secret kid, that means he likely has cousins with a crest. )

to ensure absolutely nothing will threaten fodlan’s future with the three lords at the helm, he kills the captured rhea before their eyes. he consumes her blood, taking on a fourth and final crest-- he knows full well that now he only has hours at best to live by doing so but also that it will incite the church into acting, at least.

if two crests are too much for a body to handle, and extensive experimenting by those who slither kept him... relatively stable with three, four is out of the question. leraie corrupts, becoming a beast-- the class would be called supernova. knowing he’s done all he could at this point, leraie turns on the slitheries in his vicinity and attacks them; tearing through them until there’s none left. when none remain, he turns on lilim’s forces in an effort to get them to put him down.

he cries in this monstrous form. cries for the pain he is in. cries for the pain and suffering he has inflicted on his loved ones, especially lilim, alois, and jeralt. cries because he knows he has done horrible things in the name of this bright future he so desperately wants to see... and cries because in the end he knows he won’t even get to see it.

upon his defeat, he apologizes for all that he has done, but states that he does not regret it and that it’s up to the three lords to ensure none of this was in vain. he then passes away in his sister’s arms, his mission complete at long last.