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goeie-morgen · 3 years

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Gossip Guy podcast with Willem De Schryver

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYjtRYOGS00

translated by @jackfrostsander @bruisingknees @lblogss @yousmina and me :)

E: I do have another present for you.

W: Oei oei oei, presents.

E: I do that every week. I give something to my guest of the week.

W: Oei oei oei. Do I slide it?

E: Here in the front is a flap that you have to fold upwards…

[Intro]

E: Wassup people, welcome to a new episode of the Gossip Guy podcast. My name is Ender Scholtens and today I’m here with Willem De Schryver. Everything ok?

W: Sure sure (In Dutch sure is used as a confirmation to a question).

E: Is this your first podcast?

W: Yes, this is my first podcast.

E: Stress?

W: No, it will be fine, right? Relaxed.

E: I don’t know… (laughing). For the people who don’t recognize you, from where could they know you?

W: Hmmm, probably from the youth series WTFOCK where, in the third season, I play the role of Sander.

E: And we are allowed to talk about it in this podcast.

W: Yeah I also heard that. Yes, it’s over.

E: Was it a difficult chapter of your life to close?

W: Yes, I still clearly remember the last moment… Like really the last last scene at the sea… That was an emotional moment because you went through a lot as a group, you did a lot together, and emotional scenes, intimate scenes. But yes, I think, if I speak for the whole group that it was a goodbye to the series but not a goodbye from each other. We still keep in contact. Mainly through WhatsApp.

E: Yeah, the end of the series was beautiful. I sat next to my girlfriend when it just came online. Because there were a few scenes that we hadn’t seen yet and we were just watching them… And we refreshed and the last episode was online… The last piece was online… So, I thought… I really cried… It caused quite some emotions.

W: For many people… Also under the cast and even the extras that were present for that last scene… Even among them. I can remember that they got emotional because it really was over over. I think that we, WTFOCK, have been able to impact a lot of young people in Belgium. So, it’s beautiful… We closed it beautifully…

E: I don’t doubt that. I really liked the end. What is your favorite memory from your whole WTFOCK experience?

W: Hoh, hmmm. Do I have to choose one? Difficult to choose one… I think that the most enjoyable moments… At the end of each series… Almost… We were at the sea or in the Ardennes, as a group, for a vacation. Away together. And those moments… Away with the whole cast and crew… Being away for a whole weekend. And in the evening, talking late into the night and that creates a special connection and I think that, in general, was the most enjoyable… Yes, it affects me… You share, as a young person, a common dream or something we want to realize as an actor to succeed and everyone who works so hard for that… That’s nice to see.

E: I recently talked to Veerle and I know that if she sees Nora, like somewhere, say at a party… Then they stay together for the whole evening… Do you have that? With who did you have the best connection throughout that whole experience?

W: Yes…

E: That doesn’t mean that the rest is not chill or so…

W: No the rest is all stupid… There’s only one person… I hate you all! (joking) No! Yes, hmmm, I think that I definitely have the best connection with Willem. Just because we have been through a lot… I always compare the WTFOCK crew a bit to my own friend group, aside from the cast. I mean, I know to whom I can go for what. I know I can go to some if I feel sad, to talk and I know who I can go to to have a laugh. And who I can go to to have a general chat. And everyone has their qualities or like their own aura around them… Where I love to hang around. So, it differs from person to person. So, it’s hard to choose one person but Willem then in the sense that, if you jump naked together in a swimming pool and if you have intimate scenes together… That creates a connection, of course. So, yes, if I have to choose one person…

E: Is there a barrier that you have to overcome to play such scenes? Because they are very intimate, indeed. And I, personally, couldn’t imagine… I can’t act… But, to empathize with a role… To play such scenes… Is that difficult for you?

W: Huh, yes, that’s a question I get often. I mean like… Yeah and you have to empathize with that character… But yes, you step into that project with a certain professionalism and you say “okay, we are going to create a story and bring it to the public with certain values and that we want to tell something and show something” …So, yes, you don’t really think about it. So, it’s not like I thought “Ooooo, I am kissing with a boy but I am interested in girls”. That was not a problem for me because it really is about telling the story and making that together and if the story requires that then you just completely go for it.

E: That’s cool. What are your future acting ambitions? You now have played in a series, is that something you want to do more in the future or do you like theatre more or movie or…

W: I find it difficult to choose between theatre and film, for example. After WTFOCK I played in Déjà Vu, which you can see on Streamz and later this year on Channel 4… And I study theatre at KASK. And I notice the difference, due to the recordings, I am really in the field and I am busy and I work, while at school I learn new things about theatre… So, in my opinion I have more experience in television work because I actually have done projects for that and I haven’t yet for theatre, which is still school and learning. So, I think it’s currently hard to choose but I think, maybe it’s a cliché answer, but the combination is maybe ideal, of course. But I am still exploring and I will see how it goes…

7:02

E: What is your favorite food?

W: My favorite food?

E: Yes.

W: Hmmmm, in the past I was really a basic guy… Like spaghetti bolognese or so… But now, generally after my exams, I go to a restaurant with my grandma. She always buys. That’s always amazing. I am a fan. And I always take steak tartare with fries. That remains a bit of a guilty pleasure.

E: How long, do you think, would it take you to eat five full plates of spaghetti bolognese?

W: Hoh, hmmm. The thing is, my stomach is rather small…

E: Small?

W: I think that I would have to schedule in… Okay, after a certain time I would have to throw up and then eating further…

E: You’re allowed to take a break. You’re allowed to say… Okay, I take a few days…

W: No, no, not that…

E: You’re going to do it in a day?

W: Look, two plates… Three if I really push…

E: You get preparation time so you know like a week before… So, you can like…

W: Train yourself?

E: Yes, train…

W: Hoh, alee say about four hours…

E: Four hours?! Five plates, he? Like five really big plates…

W: Yeah but yeah, four minutes… I am exaggerating… Let’s say a day… In a day five plates…

E: Ok, that should work. Then you basically have every meal… Breakfast… Lunch… Dinner… and in between… pasta…

W: Pasta as breakfast…

E: One day should definitely be feasible.

W: Yes, indeed.

8:49

E: What is, according to you, the reason you were placed on this planet?

W: Fuck (laughs).

E: Existential crisis, okay? Have you never thought about what the purpose of life is and what…

W: Yes, certainly… Hmmm, I'm someone who worries a lot. When I'm in bed in the evening I start to think about questions like that and then I think “what am I doing? Willem… where do I want to go to and…” Hmmm, why was I put on this planet? Hmmmm… (speechless followed by laughing). This is really bad… It’s like I don’t value myself…

E: Noooo, but I didn’t expect a deep philosophical answer. Well, if you had one… really good but…

W: Okay I’m going to think about my philosophical answer… but no. If you want… No! Yes, now I'm really going to sound philosophical but… (crosstalk) Everyone who is on earth has a certain reason to be here and everyone… I for example have that… I really feel that… I never liked going to school. Especially, in lower and high school. I… I actually, on purpose, put my fingers in my throat in the morning to throw up…

E: Wow, that’s heavy…

W: And then going downstairs to say “papa I’m ill, can I stay home?” I don’t know why but that whole system… Sitting behind a desk all day… And those classes… that was not for me. And then I discovered my passion for acting and discovered that it really suited me. And that’s the thing… A lot of people often ask me like “how did you start?” and “I also would like to do that and where do I start and I have been rejected does that mean I am not good enough?” but I think that sometimes you shouldn’t rush to find your passion. It can take longer then you would like it to take. I think that if you too intensively search for "what am I good at?" and “I have to find something that I am good at” and… For me that’s happened unexpectedly. I did take acting classes on Wednesday afternoons after school and I kind of got into it like that… I think it differs for everyone and that everyone has their own purpose here on earth.

E: And would you say your purpose is acting?

W: Yeah…

E: There isn’t a right answer but how does it feel for you at the moment? Is that the thing you love doing the most or do you see yourself doing for a long time?

W: The thing is… I’m a person who gets tired of things very quickly. I’ve had a lot of hobbies.

E: So maybe next week you want to garden or something?

W: No, no I wouldn’t say that. No the thing is, with acting that isn’t the case. Since I was twelve… well first on amateur level…

E: How old are you now?

W: 19.

E: Oh wow I thought you were my age. 19… damn bro you’re three years younger than me.

W: 2001 represent.

E: That’s literally… you’re the same age as my brother! What the shit. Alright, no okay.

W: In November so almost 2002. I’m really a latecomer.

E: What?! You look like you’re the same age as me and everything.

12:14

W: But that’s honestly – thank you for saying that! I always used to be the “little guy.” None of the girls wanted to be with me cause they just thought I was cute.

E: I see.

W: And they came to me to talk about their love lives.

E: Oh, okay.

W: So I was always that guy who was like: “I’m in love with you.” “Oh, how cute! You’re so cute!” So I was always like: “Okay then, I’m never going to find anyone, I’m always going to stay… short. I’ll be all alone.” And then all of a sudden I –

E: Do you think height matters in regard to your chances with certain… people?

W: At this age I don’t think it does anymore, but I do think that – I think at – I just remember in high school that the romantic idea of what love was supposed to look like was very: a boy and a girl, and the boy has to be taller and stronger and bigger than the girl. But I think that now it’s more… I mean, at my age I’m convinced it’s more fluid than that, and it doesn’t have to be that way. So it doesn’t have to be an issue anymore.

E: But still, when you go on Twitter, short guys are still –

W: Yeah.

E: Totally annihilated.

W: I have notice – I have noticed – Yeah, it’s still… It’s still this… general thing that people get stuck on. Like: “Oh, a short dude. That’s not okay.” Or whatever.

E: Or like the guy has to be taller. But no, we’re – we’re – not… not all relationships… we’re really generalizing here. But I get what you mean.

W: Yeah.

E: No, it’s – I do think it’s still important. I think that when you’re, and this is really harsh, but that a lot of people look at you differently when you’re taller. I have this dude in my friend group, Louis Ledegen, and he’s close to 2 meters tall, and just some girls look at him and they just think that’s so… attractive or whatever. And I just can’t even imagine.

W: I don’t get that either.

E: That that makes them go like: “Wow!”

W: I was in the train just now and this dude walked by me and he was honestly like 2 meters tall and I was just thinking: “When you’re that tall, and you’re with…” I mean, the girl almost has to get on a stepping stool to reach him for a kiss! And girls are like – I mean, I’ve heard before that girls think it’s attractive when a man is really tall.

E: Yeah.

W: And yeah, I don’t know… I don’t totally get it.

E: No.

W: Maybe it’s cause I’m not that tall myself, that I’m like trying to protect myself and be all: “That’s not necessary!”

E: Yeah! If anybody knows the answer, do we, being shorter guys, have less of a chance?

W: Let us know, please.

14:53

E: Please let us know! We need some answers! Now in the show, wtFOCK, your hair’s a different color.

W: Yeah.

E: Yeah. Is that something… So that was actually – it wasn’t really blonde?

W: It was completely bleached.

E: Bleached.

W: It was more to the… But the thing is that they had to do it twice, cause the first time… I got there, for the first table read with the director and Willem [Herbots] and they were like: “Hey, Willem. We wanted to ask you something. We’d like to bleach your hair for the role.”

E: Yeah.

W: And I was like: “… Okay.”

E: Okay.

W: “And why?” No. “Just for the character and stuff.” So I was like: “Okay. That’s fine.” The thing is I had to be at the hairdresser for 4 hours for this.

E: Oh wow, heavy.

W: It was like this and this product, and it had to sit for a long time. It had to be bleached all over. And I got out of there the first time and I was completely yellow – but yellow like an egg.

E: Oh, shit!

W: And I… My mom dropped me off, and I texted her: “I’m done, will you come get me?” And I saw my mom approach and she just passed me by.

E: Oh wow.

W: She didn’t – she almost didn’t recognize me anymore. Like halfway - she was like – and then she was like: “Oh! Willem!” Like she hadn’t seen –

E: Oh shit.

W: That it was me. That I looked completely different. And then I arrived for another table read and Tom [Goris – director] was like: “Yeah… We’re not gonna go this route… This is too yellow.” So then I spent another 4 hours at the hairdresser. After that I had to be there for four hours almost every month. I did think it was cool to have bleached hair, but… You have to be at the hairdresser for so long, so that really wasn’t… my thing. I mean, I had some really cool moments with Mitch [Fabry – hair & make up wtFOCK]. Thanks, Mitch.

E: Would you ever dye your hair again?

W: Uhm.

E: Maybe another color?

W: Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m quite happy with my hair color, actually, I don’t know.

E: Alright.

W: Now it’s also like… Everyone always asks me: “So this is your natural hair color?”

E: Yeah.

W: And then I have to tell them: “Yeah.” And it’s like: “Oh, okay!” It’s this switch. But no, I’m happy with my hair. It’s fine.

17:03

E: I can also tell that you’ve got an earring? You can’t really tell on camera, but –

W: I’ll come a little closer [to the camera]. Yeah, I only got it recently, four weeks or something.

E: Yeah. Was it an impulsive, drunken decision, or something you wanted… for some time?

W: I’ve wanted it for a long time, but I was a little anxious about it like: “It’s not gonna look good on me,” and then after a while, a couple of months ago, I was like: “Fuck it, I’m just gonna do it.” And if it didn’t look good I could still just take it out, so it doesn’t really matter. But all in all I was pretty happy with it. My father, my parents – my mom: “Oh, so nice!!” And it was like – at first they give you a stud and then after four weeks you can change it to a hoop. And I really wanted a hoop, and I even asked the people in the (piercing) shop: “Can’t I please just get a hoop straight away?” And they were like: “No, sorry, it doesn’t work like that. For hygiene reasons that’s not okay.”

E: Okay.

W: But okay, so I had to wait four weeks and then eventually I could change it to the golden hoop. So I get home and the first thing my father said was: “Wow, you look like a douchebag.” That was the first thing out of his mouth, that I looked like a douchebag.

E: Is that the look you were going for?

W: No, not at all! Not at all!

E: I think it looks cool.

W: Thanks.

E: Cause a little while ago I wanted one, and so I put on my girlfriend’s earring – because even if your ear isn’t pierced it sticks a little –

W: Yeah.

E: And so I just put it on there for a day or something, and then I was like: “Okay, that’s quite enough.” I don’t know if I’d want it for longer than that. Recently I’ve been getting into rings and stuff though.

W: I wore rings for a long time, but I don’t have any anymore. I actually want – I like them too. But I have to –

18:47

E: If I’d known, I would’ve brought you a gift!

W: Go shopping. Goddamn!

E: I did bring you another gift though!

W: Another gift? Oei oei oei, gifts!

E: This is something I do every week, I give my guest of the week something.

W: Oei oei oei.

E: It’s just…

W: Do I just slide it –

E: There’s a little hatch over here, that you have to lift, and then you can just lift it like that. There we go.

W: There we go.

E: White hairspray.

W: If I’d want to go back to – there we have it. Too good.

E: It can be washed out really easily as well. So this way you don’t have to be at the hairdresser for like four hours. And then when you’re sick of it, you can just get rid of it again!

W: That was the thing… Thank you, by the way.

E: You’re very welcome.

W: Now I can go back – Now I can go back to my past life. No, that was the thing as well. People who – people who - after wtFOCK came online, people really recognized me with the white hair. I mean, it’s pretty noticeable, when I’m walking through Ghent station – if someone with bleached hair. I mean, if you watch the show, I can imagine that when you see someone with bleached hair, you immediately connect the two and think: “Oh, that could be him.” And then you run in to some people who ask for pictures. After that my hair was really short, cause the people from Déja-Vu were like: “We’re not gonna do this, just go back to your natural hair color.” So I cut it all off, and there was this time where… nobody came to talk to me anymore. I was able to just be myself again. It was as if – looking back on it, it was actually really nice that for wtFOCK I was able to completely get into a different character with different hair. And the first time I got rid of the hair I really noticed that was no longer being associated with the character.

E: Hannah Montana vibes! Your hair changes color and nobody knows who you are anymore.

W: “Who are you?”

E: “Who the fuck are you?!”

W: “Does anybody want to take pictures with me? It’s me! It’s me! I swear!”

E: “I’m that dude from wtFOCK! I’m that dude from wtFOCK!”

W: So if people don’t recognize me anymore I can just… *pshhht* in the morning.

E: Exactly! If you want to take some more pictures, you can just…

W: No, no. That’s fine. No, yeah.

E: It’s kind of crazy, actually. Because, honestly? The very first time I saw a flash of you, with this hair color, I also thought: “I recognize you from somewhere…” But I think I’d already gotten in contact with you through social [media] and I didn’t put two and two together that you…

W: Yeah.

E: “Aaah!”

W: “Aaah! You’re that guy!”

E: Yeah, so…

W: But that’s the whole thing. If someone recognizes me, which doesn’t happen that often by the way, it’s always – I think it’s funny to be like: “No, that’s not me.”

E: No.

W: People really start doubting themselves, it’s very: “Uhm, can I ask you a question? Are you that guy from wtFock?” “Me? No.”

E: “No!”

W: “That’s not me.” And people will often be like: “Oh? What? But I recognize you…” That doubt on their faces is pretty funny but yeah, then I tell them it’s me.

E: Just the reaction of someone being like: “Huh, do I know you from somewhere?” “Do you watch porn?”

W: The confrontation.

E: “Oh… qmdkjg.” And it’d be even better if the parents were right there as well. “Argh!”

W: “Yes, Jürgen, care to explain yourself, young man?”

E: No, it’s just funny to joke about. But you’ve never – Do you just get: “Hey, are you that guy from wtFOCK?” Or have people also asked you: “Do I know you from somewhere?” Or: “What do I know you from?”

W: Yeah, it depends. The thing is – I go to school in Ghent and when the [popular place where college students go out] was still open before Covid-19, not that I went there often because I didn’t really like it there –

E: No.

W: - in the sense that the combination of young people who –

E: Watch wtFOCK.

W: - watch wtFOCK and alcohol – and people who’ve had alcohol to drink –

E: And are horny?

W: - their limits or boundaries are just gone. “Oh my god!!! You’re that dude from wtFOCK!! Can I kiss you??” Things like that!

E: Oh, fuck!

W: And I was really like: “Okay…?” I’m just a regular dude and I’m trying – and I actually thought it was less annoying for myself, but I thought it was more disruptive for my friends. Like even when we were just walking down the street, we got recognized a couple of times, and I was just like: I just want to have fun with my friends, and not have to spend too much time thinking. That’s another thing I was subconsciously thinking about. Imagine I drink way too much.

E: Yeah.

W: And I end up in the gutter somewhere, and people start filming that… So yeah, that made… So because of that I spent more time in friends’ dorm rooms just having dorm parties.

E: And since your bleached hair is gone, have you gone to a party?

W: When my bleached hair was gone corona was already a thing so I haven’t been able to enjoy it. But it’s starting to come back [the parties] so that’s nice. I’m looking forward to… tomorrow I’m going-

E: Are you going as well?

W: Are you going to Plein Air by Fuse?

E: Tomorrow I’m going to Jaimie Lee who-

W: …Is going to DJ at three festivals.

E: Yeah at three festivals and I will be backstage I guess.

W: Okay.

E: One of those festivals?

W: Yeah I don’t know. I have tickets for Fuse Open Air in Brussels.

24:19

E: I honestly have no idea where I’m going. Anyway, I’m excited. And I always asked, what’s the first event you went to ever since it’s allowed? Did you go to We Can Dance festival?

W: No I was studying.

E: Was today your last exam or yesterday?

W: Yesterday was my last exam in the morning. I was stressing so much, because I thought I would fail, but eventually I think it went relatively well. If you’re watching professors, let me pass please. No I think it went well.

E: Are you someone who is stress resistant?

W: Uhh no.

E: No?

W: I let it take over my body.

E: You get physically unwell?

W: I will be laying in bed and I’m tossing and turning and sweating. And I think about how I’m not gonna pass tomorrow. And the combination with my worries is really not good. It makes me stay up really late. The thing is with stress resistant, I for example made my own play at high school about a kid with divorced parents for my final work and the whole audience was filled with my family and my parents. That’s pretty confronting to tell a story that’s also a little bit of their life and is pretty personal. I’m always stressed for things like that. Then it’s weird – from the first word I spoke I had a lot of stress and worries and the first sentence that I said was something like “I don’t know what to do”, and then it’s all of a sudden poofff. The train has left.

E: You said you didn’t really know what to do now.

W: That’s the first sentence of the text that I wrote and the moment I said that sentence I thought in my head “the train has left, there’s no way back now” and then the stress disappears automatically. But before the final rehearsal there was a moment that I was moving around heavily and I was throwing with chairs. And afterwards I had to pack moving boxes, which was okay. But from moving around and the combination of stress it made me almost gag in the box from the stress so I almost puked. So at these moments it gets pretty heavy.

E: Did other people notice or were you hiding it?

W: Yeah the final rehearsal was luckily not with an audience, but my teachers were like “Everything alright?” and I was like “Yeah I’m good. It’s a bit much”. But when it comes to stress, a lot of people always say – I’m even a little stressed right now actually.

E: Really?

W: Podcasts, oh no no.

E: Oh shit. You have to be (stressed)

W: A lot of pressure on my shoulder here. No, but a lot of people say that it doesn’t look like that I’m stressed even though I really am dying from all the stress.

E: Only now you can hide it really well. You should become an actor.

W: A lot of people have said that to me often, but it’s not my interest. Also not much work in the field.

E: That too, fuck. Are you someone who constantly pretends like you’re okay?

W: Yes.

E: Even when you have a lot of shit going on in your head and you’re processing other things?

W: I'm one person. One person?

E: "I'm one person" [laughs]

W: I am one person. No, but I'm someone who often keeps their stuff to themselves, so that I can listen to what others need.

28:15

E: That was my next question. You listen more to other people’s problems and you’re the person people come to with their problems?

W: I think, at least I hope, that a lot of my friends do know that they can always come to me for a talk or a phone call. I'm someone that will shove away their happiness for someone else, which isn’t always positive of course.

E: It is a beautiful characteristic, but it shouldn’t take over indeed.

W: In the past it has happened that I was falling apart, but I kept pushing it away, because I wanted to take care of someone else. I noticed this a lot during the divorce of my parents. My parents had a hard time with the divorce and I remember that I came home as a little boy and I saw my mom sitting and I felt the duty to comfort her and to be there for her, even though I was 8 or 9 years old. That’s not something you expect to do or think from an 8 year old. It really broke me and now I can openly speak about it, because I have had enough conversations with my parents about it, about how it was for me. And I made a play about it, as I told earlier, so it’s been a whole process and that has scarred me till at least my 16th. My parents got divorced when I was 5 or 6 years old. It took me a long time to open up because of that. I notice it a lot in previous relationships, that I walk away from fights, because I would find the confrontation too heavy to get into a fight and to discuss. The divorce and fights with my parents scarred me so hard that I didn’t want that again. I wanted everything to be rainbow and sunshine, but life doesn’t work like that. And that was partly a misconception from me, that I thought that a relationship had to be perfect, if there is a fight, then it’s not going well. Now I realize that fights are part of a relationship. And also part of steps you take into accepting each other, listening to each other and understanding each other. It’s needed for a stronger connection. You can’t, well you can, but in my eyes you can’t be with someone for a long time without ever having had a conflict. Even if it’s a discussion, because then you’re adapting too much to the other, and then you say okay, I’m adapting to the demands of her and I suppress my own things or things I want to do, only to avoid the discussion, and that’s something I learned. And that’s how everyone learns their own things along the way.

E: You still see it in the youth, those romantic movies, where everyone is so in love and it always ends with a kiss or something and it’s always good and then you think, this must be the case in real life. Why can’t I find Gabriella Montez for my Troy Bolton. Even though that was a shitty relationship too, they were constantly fighting. No, but that gives a wrong image about relationships and for other things because of movies. And the reality is just different.

32:16

W: Yes. I recently for the first time -this is kinda embarrassing because it’s a must see- watched The Notebook.

E: Me too! What did you think?

W: It has been a few weeks ago. Or a few weeks, maybe 3 or something.

E: I watched it last weekend.

W: I almost cried.

E: Really?

W: I’m a really emotional person. I can really cry. I can really get lost in a movie. “No not the puppy, why?!” Those things, where I think "Willem, act normal". But no it was a beautiful movie.

E: Yeah I have a different opinion, because I just fell asleep. I fell asleep, because it all went so slow, it started so slow. I didn’t even watch the kiss in the rain scene.

W: The moment. It’s in literally every romantic movie. In the rain, it happens everywhere.

Ender: Yeah mate, it’s such a cliché actually, but yeah.

W: I bet you that they’re just standing there with a garden hose.

E: Definitely.

W: It can’t be that they’re waiting, “is it gonna rain today? We need to do that scene now”.

33:27

E: Checking the rain alarm while everyone is inside. There are definitely sprinklers there. It’s in a lot of romantic movies. Now that we’re talking about it, the filming you did with wtFock, you sometimes had scenes outside. Here we have those (light) spots, I assume that you don’t carry them outside. How do you guys do that?

W: Sometimes we do have spots outside, but as long as the light from the sun is okay – with a binocular (telescope), well it’s not a binocular, it’s a round thing you can look through and with it they can determine the brightness of the sun and if the sun is too bright for the lightning they need, then it gets shielded, the same that is in front of your lamps. With that they can dim the lights. Or when there is not enough they use isomo plates, that’s really weird. Sometimes there are really intimate scenes in a series where it looks like it’s really close to the skin of the actors. There is a camera with a plate on it and a stick for the sound above it, it sometimes made it really hard for me to focus, because everyone is sitting there and the director and I’m like “yeah, okay okay”. So it takes a lot to get it all professional.

E: Was there a crazy moment where you forgot your lines? That you’re laying in bed and you’re like “which sentence do I have to say now?”

W: Yeah we’ve definitely had a lot of bloopers. Yeah forgetting lines or.. the thing is, as long as the director doesn’t say cut, you have to keep going. It’s a matter of "how do I improvise myself around this scene to get to the point we actually have to get to", because you have a scene and you have your lines, but if you forget something, then you do know the main lines of where the scene has to go to. You know the scene will end in a kiss or something and these subjects will be spoken about in the conversation, so when you forget your lines, you try to work your way through it as best as possible. And when the director says it wasn’t good, then we’ll do it again. I’ve had a lot of moments where I forgot my lines and I was laying in bed with Willem and we would look at each other and we’d know that I had to say something, but I was stuck, so there would be a 10 seconds silence, hoping for them to say cut. Yeah so those kinds of moments a lot or moments where I… I also had that with Déjà Vu. I remember… by the way it was amazing to work together with such big names as Natali Broods and Koen De Graeve. And Koen, lovely person, was kind of the father figure on set and we had a scene, next to the bed, a quite emotional scene. And the camera was focused on me, close up on my face. And I still remember that, the sound was going, everything, and Koen had just told a joke, or made a face that made me laugh. So, I had to laugh really hard, but I had to act very sad. It was an intense scene of goodbyes. All the time, starting to laugh about everything. I still remember for wtFock we made a video with bloopers and those are very fun to watch back.

37:03

E: Are those bloopers ever published somewhere online?

W: I don’t think so.

E: I think if you’d be able to release them somewhere that a lot of people would be interested in them.

W: Yes, yes. I don’t know why, indeed. The fans would be happy with those.

E: I think a lot of people- because we were just talking about your biggest fan.

W: My biggest-

E: Your grandma.

W: My grandma, yes. Big shout out to my grandma.

E: Do you think she’s watching right now?

W: She’ll definitely watch, I hope so.

E: What’s your grandma’s name?

W: Micheline.

E: Micheline, thank you very much for watching Micheline.

W: Micheline.

E: I appreciate it.

W: Women in power. She deserves a special place. No really, she follows all the fan accounts of wtFock. And then sometimes, or very often, we call and she gives me an update of what’s being said on the internet. Or yes, I also remember, when scenes come out and there’s things being said and she’s like "Willem, is that true, what are they saying?" And I say "Grandma, it’s nothing, it’s all from the show." "Ah okay, okay." So yes, very sweet grandma. She’s like the grandma where everything was allowed. I think that’s the same for everyone. At home, there are a lot of rules, and then you got to sleepover at your grandma’s and it was like: "Oh, I get to stay up later, and she made pudding for me." Her vanilla pudding-

E: That good?

W: Grandma, if you’re seeing this, please make some vanilla pudding when I visit.

E: Dude, everything’s falling out of my pocket.

W: You’re letting everything fall out of your pocket? Maybe you need to buy another pair of pants.

E: The chair is too comfortable that I’m kind of sinking in it, and now I constantly get-

W: The conversation’s too comfortable-

E: It’s just my phone, it’s vibrating, I think it just vibrated out of my pocket. So, silent, great. Eh, what were we talking about? About your grandma.

W: About my grandma.

38:46

E: Now, totally different subject. If you were a fish, what color fish would you be?

W: A fish?

E: Which color do you identify most with?

W: Eh.

E: And you’re a fish too of course.

W: Identify with which color. The thing is, I’m in the scouts. And in the Jins, that’s the last year before you become a leader, we were given a color totem, and the whole group decided on a color that fits you.

E: All right.

W: And mine was mango orange.

E: Wow, that’s cool.

W: Yeah, I thought it was cool too. And it means, if I have to think back, mango has quite a hard peel, relatively, but the fruit itself is quite soft. And that refers to my personality. I’m someone that lets people in fast, around me, but in the beginning, suspicion is a little strong, but kind of like, testing. Let’s say that. But once- From the outside I might look a bit hard. A lot of people say that when I have my straight face-

E: Resting bitch face.

W: That I’m angry. I was once told on the subway by a dude, and I was just listening to music, staring in the distance, and I think, suddenly a dude comes up to me, in French: "C’est quoi ton problème, heh, tu regardes come ça, c’est quoi ton problème." And I was like: "I’m sorry". Apparently, I was looking in his direction with my-

E: Bitch face.

W: Bitch face. He must have thought I was looking for problems. So yeah, that’s why the mango, a little hard on the outside, but once you get to know me better, a soft, sweet boy. So that’s why, orange. So, an orange fish then.

E: A little bit of Nemo vibes.

W: Yes, Nemo then. But let’s, what’s that theory. Did you hear that?

E: Theory?

W: About Nemo.

E: What’s the theory?

W: Haven’t you heard that? I keep seeing that online. I’m having a crisis. So the thing is, your childhood will get ruined.

E: Fuck man.

W: The thing is-

E: But there really are, no keep going, I have something I want to say afterwards.

W: The thing is, I’ve heard, that Nemo is Latin for nobody, and that the father is imagining that he still has an egg left, but that that fish doesn’t actually exist.

E: Oh fuck.

W: And that Dory joins him, and he sees, we’re actually not looking for anyone, but because he has memory issues, he constantly forgets that they’re not looking for anyone. So, they’re actually looking for nobody. And I saw that online and I was like.

E: Damn, so all the eggs are eaten, but he imagines that someone still has to be there.

W: Yes, something to keep living for.

E: Fuck man, that’s very brutal. That’s very fucked up.

W: Sorry to everyone for who Nemo is ruined now.

E: There’s a similar theory about Phineas and Ferb, and then Candice, their sister, is based on a true story about a girl that lost her brothers and still imagines that they're still doing stuff in the garden. And she keeps telling her mom: "Look, look, they are still here, they’re doing that." And that the mom says: "They’re not there." And that’s why she can never see that. You get it? Brutal right?

W: My whole childhood is ruined. Fucking hell.

E: That’s going to be the title of this podcast.

W: Childhood ruined.

E: We’re ruining your childhood.

42:17

W: We’re ruining your childhood. No but that’s good because, thankfully, I have a half-sister, but I say sister because I think half-sister is an ugly word, of seven years old. She thinks she’s 16. She’s a real diva.

E: Oh wow, okay.

W: She’s very, I’ll tell you a story later, but the thing is, I experience all those things with her again. In the beginning it was like, turning the tv on, Bumba, again. And I could secretly watch with her without feeling guilty. I was like, I’m watching Bumba and secretly I’m enjoying it, but sssh, I’m just watching it with my sister.

E: That exactly.

W: And now it’s Ketnet, like Hoodie, those series that she’s watching. And yes, I notice that because of all the technology today, she has an iPad, she’s on YouTube, she’s watching those self-made crafts.

E: 7 years old?

W: 7 years old, yes.

E: Wow.

W: She watches those- where people are playing with Barbies and they make a little play with them online on YouTube and they do stuff. Yes, a tablet. She has an iPad that’s bigger than her head. That makes me think- well, an iPad is usually bigger than everyone’s head. Or well, almost.

E: Not if you have a mini of course.

W: Her head isn’t that big.

E: Okay.

W: She’s on it a lot though. But she’s a real diva. I think the best story I have, there’s multiple. I remember the story, we were sitting at the table and she was having another moment of "I’m the princess, and everyone can leave because I do what I want and fuck you all". But the thing is, there’s five kids at home. I have a brother and two stepbrothers. So, she has four brothers, and she knows very well that she has four brothers. And that makes her feel even more like she’s the princess at home. So, we were sitting at the table. And she kept staring at my dad like this while throwing her cutlery on the ground. Like "what are you going to do". And my dad was like: "Liv," because her name is Liv by the way, "stop that."

E: That wasn’t nice of Liv. (Liv sounds the same as lief which means nice in Dutch.)

W: No. Not nice of-

E: Haha. Sorry.

W: Badam pam ts. Can’t we put that under here. Yes.

E: No, sorry, keep going.

W: So, he was like: "Liv, stop that, stop that." He started to get annoyed, because she kept going. "Liv, what is so hard to understand about no." And then it got silent at the table so I thought, okay, it’s done. The o.

E: Oh wow.

W: 7 years old and she drops that.

E: Oh wow.

W: And I thought, okay.

E: Damn bro.

W: The o. That she even dares to say that. Yeah, and she has those moments. She was sitting at the table, with her mask on, eating. So, she pulled her mask down to eat, and then she was chewing with her mask on. And then I asked: "Liv, why are you wearing your mask?" "Yes, you came back from Ghent, you’re not in my bubble."

E: Okay, okay.

W: So, then I said: "Okay, that’s fine." It’s crazy how that goes around among young children. Because my sister came back home from school crying once. And I asked her: ‘Liv, what’s wrong?’ "Yes, my friends didn’t let me play with them." So, I was like: "Why?" "Margot says I’m not allowed in her bubble."

E: Oh wow.

W: See, that’s becoming the new- we played with Pokémon cards on the playground and now it’s about playing games in bubbles because it’s so-

E: Damn.

W: Yes, you’re only allowed to have four people in your bubble so we don’t play with more than four.

E: Oh wow.

W: So I found that kind of crazy, or confronting that it made me think like, even at such a young age it has an impact. And I know that the-

E: That it leaves an impression.

W: Yes, and I know that my dad-

E: It’s sad that children have to think about it.

W: Yes, exactly.

E: Well, it’s not that- everyone should think about it of course.

W: Yes, yes, of course. It’s also that I know the way my dad feels about raising, that he tells Liv straight up about things that are happening in the world. He doesn’t make things seem nicer, or saying, eh, yes, no, but that’s- The classic story of how babies are made, with the cauliflowers, and what not.

E: I also just think-

W: How am I going to explain that to my kids?

E: If you don’t make it a taboo to start with, is it that bad? It’s just- it’s just. Oh well, that’s a whole other conversation.

W: Yes, no, definitely.

E: But straight up just telling what’s going on to your kids. I think I would prefer that to making up a story about the flowers and the bees.

W: Yes, yes.

E: Because the story about the flowers and the bees, I don’t even know how you actually- pollinating and stuff, is that what that means?

W: You do it like this, pollinating.

E: Yes, no, exactly.

W: Yes, but well, children, that’s still a long time from now.

E: Do you want kids, you think, later?

W: Yes, please.

E: Do you think you would be a good father?

W: I hope I would be a good father. Despite my parents’ divorce, I really do… I do look up to my parents. I’m proud of the way they raised me. So yeah if I would be a good father… sometimes, but maybe that’s the age, kids frustrate me. I’m a leader in the scouts for the Welpen and Welpen -great guys- but they can also be annoying and say “I’m not participating” and “that’s a stupid game, can we do something else?” and I’m like “we invest so much time in this and so much preparation, please participate” so sometimes that bothers me. But I would prefer not to have just one (child). Certainly more than one because… are you an only child?

E: No I have a little brother.

W: Yeah only child… with all due respect to people who are only children but sometimes I think… for example, I’m very happy that I have a brother. Not that it wouldn’t be fun without a brother per se, but I don’t know, the contact I have with my brother is nice.

E: The thing is, you don’t know what you’re missing so it’s hard to miss it I guess. But I do think that my brother has been a great added value to my life.

W: Yeah, yeah.

E: In the same way, I never really had grandparents. They all died before I was born and the grandfather I did have was quite old when I was actually aware that I had a grandfather. So I’ve never really had the grandparents experience that you see with family gatherings and stuff. But I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything but I still know how much other people benefit from having grandparents. Also what you just said about how often you call each other and stuff. I think that’s the same with being an only child. If you don’t have any brothers or sisters, you don’t know what it’s like to have that, what you’re missing. But if you do have it, it’s an added value I think.

W: Yes, exactly. No that’s true. My brother is very helpful to me now. I know that I can count on him.

E: Older or younger by the way?

W: Older.

E: A lot older?

W: 21.

E: 21.

W: Oh boy I had to think about how old my brother is. Embarrassing. Love you man. No but we had - maybe you had that too – but when we were younger, we really fought.

E: Physical?

W: Real fighting. Yeah, it’s has now gotten much better. I think we understand each other a lot better, but it used to be real… we had Catch WW on the Wii and we reenacted that on the couch so that was… “In the right corner Ramy Stereo” and we were bare-chested and both had one boxing glove on and fighting each other until one of us cried, bled or gave up. Usually it was me.

E: That’s just the fate of the little brother.

W: I always went… I’ve never admitted that actually, [whispers] it’s a confession. I’ve never admitted it, but afterwards I always went to my parents and cried “Kwinten hurt me”.

E: That’s really… that’s the moment, you feel it coming and you think “ah fuck no, if I hit again it’s probably over but I want to…” [cross-talk] “no no no don’t tell mom! Don’t tell mom!” I think I was a pretty nice big brother. We often did shit together. We were at home playing on the couch together and Olaf bumps into a large box that was standing there and the box, bigger than Olaf back then, fell down on his hand.

W: Oh shit.

E: So Olaf broke his hand. And I thought “I made him jump over those chairs” and then you have to say “sorry sorry don’t tell them, don’t tell them!” but yeah if your hand is fucking broken, you’re not gonna stop crying because your big brother says “don’t cry”. Yeah, that are…

W: Yes, but the relationship [between Willem and his brother] has improved. Okay we still have our discussions but... I think moments like when we’ve both been to a pub or something and we come home at the same time and we’re always hungry and standing in the kitchen making sandwiches. Those are great moments. I don’t necessarily need to have emotionally heavy of deep conversations with my brother to know that he’s there and that I can have a good time with him. So I think that’s the added value of having a brother or brothers in general.

E: Do you guys also have a specific sense of humor? Or like those moments when the two of you are laughing and your parents or people around you think “what the fuck is going on?”

W: Yeah we speak some slang to each other for fun. Like “stu stu” and [my slang knowledge is very limited so I have no idea what he’s saying here lol], those kinds of things. Typical slang from Brussels and Leuven. It’s funny because my parents are always like “why are you talking to each other like that?” and recently, I was leaving and my mom said “stu stu!” so they are adopting those words and then my brother and I can’t stop laughing.

E: Also if your mom suddenly says “are we going to chill later?” and I’m like [laughing] “what? Mom!”

W: “Okay??”

E: It’s kind of cute. Yeah it’s fun. And what are… I almost want to go deep like…

W: That’s okay.

E: Is there a particular interaction or experience you’ve had with your brother that sums up your relationship right now? Or are those the moments when you’re laughing and eating at night? It doesn’t have to be a super deep or emotional moment.

W: I think it’s an accumulation of those moments and emotional moments too. For example, after it was over with my ex. I was really down back then, it hit me pretty hard. Those are the moments when I can walk into my brother’s room in the middle of the night and he’s there for me. I know that dude is always going to be there when something’s wrong, no matter how much we argue or how much we shit at each other. I just know, and I hope he does too, that I can call him 24/7, walk into his room 24/7 and he will be there or ready to listen. I think that’s just something… the fact that we know that about each other, that creates that bond. And the thing is, if only he would do his best and go to work, earn real money… because we went on holiday together and he still hasn’t… he still has some work to do but we’ve already planned something. I’m really looking forward to it. We’re planning to go surfing in Portugal together. Those are moments I just know I can go somewhere with him and have the time of my life without-

E: …That you can remember for the rest of your life what you did together.

W: Yeah, absolutely. Those moments that I want to cherish or want to keep or experience.

E: My little brother is also just the most annoying dude on this planet who I love the most.

W: Exactly that combination. Annoying, but you love them.

E: Of course. The cameras are back on. That means we’ve been at it for over 50 minutes.

W: 50 minutes? It feels like we’re chatting for 20 minutes.

E: Exactly.

W: Pleasant.

E: That’s good. If it’s pleasant and the stress is gone.

W: Do you actually like me? “No I hate you. We’re going to finish. It has been good.”

55:29

E: No we’re not going to finish yet, but before we do, is there anything you’d like to send out into the world before we finish? On average there are 10 to 50 people watching. Is there anything you want to say to them?

W: To the 10 to 50 people?

E: Yes.

W: 10 to 50 people, you are awesome. No, what I’m saying… maybe a little deep but it doesn’t matter. Very often in your life you are going to encounter that you run into a wall, that you’re going to have setbacks, that you think “I don’t want to anymore, I can’t to this anymore, life is all one big shit show” but I think that there is a certain… at least I believe that – everyone has their own opinion of course- that a certain path has been mapped out for everyone. Not necessarily that things are set in stone but there is a road that you are going to take and that road is going to have curves, is going to have hills, is going to have valleys, is going to have everything. Maybe it’s a gravel path, maybe rocks you stumble over but -it sounds a bit stupid- put on your best walking shoes and just walk that path the best way you can. Just try to live life with complete joy and euphoria because you’re 100% worth it. No matter what other people say or think about your ideology or style or way of life. Everyone is entitled to it or should be given the opportunity to be appreciated for who they are. I think that’s something we do too little in this society, but yeah.

E: Just don’t be too hard on yourself in the end?

W: Yeah, don’t be too hard on yourself. A lot of people blame themselves too much. Or “oh I’m like that and I don’t fit in because of that” or something. Then I think: so be it.

E: Do you sometimes feel that you should do more or have achieved more at this age? Of course you’re already doing a lot of cool shit but social media, I know there is a highlight reel of all people’s achievements and that sometimes it’s very difficult to filter between what is real and how much is that person actually sitting on the couch doing nothing. Do you sometimes feel that because of social media of because of your environment or I don’t know, that you’re not doing enough?

W: Gosh, sometimes I think my life is too full.

E: Too full?

W: Not that I’m saying “oh I have so many things to do” but I’m like... I’m letting that grow organically or so.

E: Not putting too much pressure on yourself?

W: Not putting too much pressure on yourself. I’m doing a course now that I’d like to finish because I’ve had those two projects and there are friends of mine who say “why are you still studying? You’ve had your opportunity, you’re going to get new opportunities right?” and I say “hey! I’m also only 19”. Sometimes I think “fuck Willem you should have achieved more already” but I also think I’m only 19. There was a conversation at school… I really think that’s one of the added values of the course. We receive an observation report twice a year, 5 pages where the teacher writes about you and how they see you, what they think about you, what your qualities are, what you still need to work on. It’s always spot on. So strange how they can just see right through you, even though I sometimes try to hide it. Yeah, where was I going with this… we had subsequent conversation about it and I said to my teacher “sometimes I feel like I’m too young for this course” that I have too little life experience. There are people in my class who are in their 20s or older, who have already studied something else before this, have read a lot more, seen a lot more than me, a lot more experience and I think “fuck, I don’t have anything”. People talk about certain topics and I don’t follow at all. I mentioned that I felt too young and she [the teacher] said “you’re young, but that also has its advantages. Your youthfulness can actually be an interesting tool in this course and look at it from a different perspective”. So I’m convinced: don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t think “whew, I’m already 20 and I haven’t achieved anything yet” so to speak. I even saw a video recently where… “if you don’t make it in your 20s, you might make it in your 30s and if you don’t make it in your 30s, you might make it in your 40s”. There are so many… there really are a lot of people… people often forget that there are people who only find out what they want to do or discover their passion later in life.

E: And also just… I think it’s so ridiculous that you set certain goals for a certain age or something. That it’s so expected that by 18 you must have completed high school and by 25 you must have had your first job interview, by 28/30 you must have a house and a serious relationship where you’re committed to for the rest of your life and by 40 you must have already had a promotion, that you can provide for yourself and fix your pension. All those fucking predetermined milestones. I think that’s kind of bullshit, you know?

W: Absolutely.

E: If that were the case, then I should graduate in a few years so to speak while I’m clearly not studying here because I have – fuck normally I have a re-exam today. And here we are.

W: Here we are.

E: I knew I was doing this but I mean that’s just… there’s so much time. I’m 22 now and I’m doing some shit, if I go nuts now or people don’t want to listen to this podcast anymore, don’t want to see what I do online, okay then I have to look elsewhere. But I did this and I went for it and I tried. I’m 22. Even if I go nuts now and it’s all gone, I’m only 22. There are still so many ways it could go. A lot of people don’t have a job at 22. If I started looking for a new job or something now, hopefully I’ll have one by 25. Then it’s still okay because I’m only 25. I don’t know, I always find that… I could go on for a long time about this. I think those predetermined milestones/goals of things that you must have achieved by a certain age, I just think it’s bullshit.

W: I sometimes make the comparison that people too often see life as the sports world. Football players who are good until 35 and then they are done. As if you must have already performed before that age. That’s not how it works. You really have all the time and you really don’t have to stress. I also notice that many people… you mentioned re-exams. That people say “fuck I have re-exams, oh no I’m not going to pass, oh no you have extra…” chill. You do your best, but suppose you have to repeat a year, that’s not a disaster either, is it?

E: What I also think is crazy is how many people have studied law and you eventually hear that they ended up in a marketing agency because they found it much more interesting. When I talk to some people who… I was seeing a social media manager recently [laughs] “seeing”, I was talking to him.

W: “seeing” okay [laughs].

E: I was talking to him.

W: [joking] Ender has something to say.

E: And I asked “what did you study?” and he said biochemistry. “How the fuck did you end up here?” Him: “uh yeah that just wasn’t the right fit for me. I have a master’s degree but I started working here because I found it much more interesting”. I thought: why am I pretending that the degree I’m trying to get is going to determine the rest of my life, you know?

W: Absolutely.

E: If there are so many people now… because he was only 28 or something. So I thought “aah okay so you’ve been studying biochemistry for so many years and now you’re here – I don’t know if I’m talking about the correct position – but now you’re just sitting here making content. Cool. But why do I attach so much importance to that one direction I’m studying right now that doesn’t even have anything to do with media or anything. I mean I’m very interested in media, I’m studying economics. Which is also interesting, but that’s not what I see myself doing in the coming years.

W: Yeah, yeah.

E: Anyway enough about me. Do you think you could win in a fight against a cow?

W: [laughs] I really like that. You can switch to totally different shit like that. Like before you suddenly asked what color fish do you want to be. Okay. That’s nice. Win… I’ve heard if you knock over a cow it dies. That it has a heart attack then. We don’t want to kill cows okay!

E: And purely hypothetical, you’re just standing in a kind of meadow so it’s not super big so you can’t go in all directions. There is a limited domain. You come face to face with that cow and you have to begin. No weapons. You’re standing there and the cow stands there and you both know you’re going to fight.

W: It knows that too?

E: It knows that too.

W: [makes mooing noises] okay ca va.

E: It’s not a bull but it does have horns so in fact it would-

W: I would shit my pants. I’d give up already. I would lie on the ground, come on. Really crazy, I saw Jackass recently. Those guys, that Wee Man, who was in that link with the bull and he’s being catapulted, so to speak.

E: I don’t understand how those guys aren’t all dead yet.

W: Yeah they are really crazy.

E: There was also a rumor that Wee Man died from a bowling ball during… but apparently that wasn’t true.

W: I don’t know.

E: Fucked up shit. Would you win against a cow?

W: Would I win against a cow? No, I wouldn’t win against a cow. I don’t think I would win against a cow.

E: I think I would. I think just like with a bull I would try to jump out of the way like that and once you’re on the side it’s just a matter of pushing. If what you said is true, it’s game over when it’s down and you know, that’s your tactic.

W: But the thing is, a cow is heavy, isn’t it?

E: True.

W: You can’t just push it over like that, can you?

E: Sure, but it’s a matter of life or death, isn’t it? The adrenaline rush. You have to image, a cow just comes running towards you. The adrenaline that goes through your body. You shouldn’t underestimate the power you have then.

W: Just find the best patch of grass and when it’s there, sneaky knife in the back. No, now people are going to think I’m that kind of person.

E: That you’re just a snake.

W: Snake. Definitely and I admit it. No, that would be fucked up.

E: I’m going to do one more thing that’s important. I’m going to find a Twitter shout out and in the meantime, I already asked you what your message is to the world and that was a beautiful message. Got something more banal that you’d like to share? Something that you want to share from your social media or something?

W: What do you mean from social media?

E: Where they can follow you. You can say something if you have a really good video that you want to share. “Check me everywhere”.

W: No I don’t have… people should do what they feel like doing. Do you think I’m cool, do you think I’m fun, follow me on Insta. No really doesn’t matter. Doesn’t really matter.

E: Alright, I’m just going to scroll and you say stop. I’ll go back and forth and you have to say “yes that’s the one who gets to have this week’s shout out”.

W: Exciting huh. Stop.

E: [reads twitter account] M. Verschuren.

W: M. Verscheure.

E: Is that…

W: [reads quote] “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”.

E: Wow. Damn bro.

W: I’m going to edit my quote.

E: “If you were never sad, you wouldn’t know you could be happy”. Wow. If you didn’t have shitty days, you wouldn’t know what the best days of your life were.

W: Exactly. But what if you get stuck in your shitty days for the rest of your life?

E: That won’t happen. That’s my biggest fear.

W: Me too.

E: Looking back at your life and thinking-

W: …Fuck I’ve never been there again.

E: …That’s where I peeked. Hope that doesn’t happen. Anyway M. Verscheure thank you very much for listening, I really appreciate it. You as well, I think?

W: Absolutely, absolutely. How much were you going to pay me?

E: 50 euro.

W: Then I’ll come… awesome. Super cool.

E: Thank you so much to everyone who listened. I appreciate it. If you want to hear more you can always subscribe to this channel. It’s also good for my ego. I’ll just put your Instagram link in the description, for people who are interested. Okay, that was it.

W: Thanks, it was fun.

E: There’s an audio only episode on Spotify every Sunday and the video comes out on Monday. That’s it. See you next Monday. Or Sunday. Peace.

#wtfock #willem de schryver

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mythiccheroacademia · 3 years

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—pocket heroes headcanons

mtha thots: it’s that time of year again where i start projecting my daily academic existential crises on the mha characters. i’ve had this idea in my head for months and got pages of brain rot fading away in my documents, so i’ve decided to stop being selfish and start sharing w some simple hcs. i hope you enjoy it <3

warnings: none

reference for the banner

context: pocket heroes are a new phenomenon to the world. the whispers that spread by ear say they are tiny humans dressed in hero-like costumes that support you when you need it most. many don’t believe in them and blame it on overactive imagination. but the very few who know the truth, say otherwise. they say you can’t find a pocket hero, but your pocket hero finds you when they’re ready. luckily for you, your tiny friend made an appearance and is stuck to you like glue!

Midoriya Izuku:

this little guy is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen

izu is on the shorter side standing only about 3 ¾ inches tall

but don’t let that height fool you bc he’s a ball of energy!

he’s a chatterbox so if that’s not your game, good luck sis

but he’s so cute and his voice is so tiny how could you not love him

your pocket hero is so encouraging of you

for every assignment, he’ll sit by your hand and cheer you on

it’s impossible to give in to temptation and skip an assignment/call off work bc he’ll puff his chubby cheeks out and pout

he knows it’s tough, but you can do it! there’s nothing you can’t do!

although, if you need to take a break for your mental health, he’ll immediately stop and climb up into your neck to comfort you

makes posters with sticky notes he finds around bc he’s your biggest fan

sits by you during class and takes his own notes so that you two can compare

he doesn’t want you to miss anything important

you get such good grades bc of deku ong

izuku’s fav place to be is in your shirt pocket or in your cleavage, behind the collar of your shirt with his little head sticking out

it’s bc he likes to be near to your heart

it makes him feel safe and close to you

if you get really stressed out, izu will cry for you

he hates it when you’re distressed and won’t be able to think clearly until you’re okay

his whimpers are so sad it literally pains my heart

your pocket hero loves when you bring him up to your cheek so he can latch on and nuzzle you

he’s highkey attached to your hip

he’s not afraid to use puppy dog eyes if you tell him he needs to stay home when you go out

7 times out of 10, you give in

but when it’s necessary for him to stay, he’ll sadly mope around until he hears the door open and runs to you

deku’s got this huge smile on his face that could make the coldest man crack

his tiny footsteps are so cute ughhhh

uses ofa to jump to your face so you can catch him and give him cuddles until he’s satisfied

i adore him

Bakugo Katsuki:

katuski stands at a whopping 4 ½ inches which is about average

but this particular pocket hero has a bad case of small dog syndrome

make fun of how small he is at your own risk

bc this little dude bites

bakugo’s a hardass about your responsibilities

like the man will not let you procrastinate!

over his dead body

if he catches you slipping, he’ll pull on your ear lobes

screams at you and threatens to blow you up with his tiny explosions too for good measure

you don’t have the heart to tell him his quirk feels like a flick from a two year old

his yelling is kinda scary tho despite sounding like a preschool kid on helium

nevertheless, pls trust that this little guy loves you and only wants the best for you

you don’t catch how he gets up extra early every morning and organizes your desk to the best of his abilities (some of your stuff is heavy)

or how he’ll spend hours going through your music and making playlists to help you study

bakugo complains about doing it, but he’s always down to go through flashcards with you

he’s a smart cookie and has got a keen memory so trust he won’t let you half-ass/forget any important assignments and exams

a mother hen

if you have at least three inches of hair, bakugo likes to stand on the top of your head and tug on your strands to “make you move” like you're under his control

yes, he has an evil laugh

you humor him every time

although, there was one time you threw your head to the side and he almost fell off bc he called you a bad word and you weren’t having it

it hasn’t happened again since

doesn’t go there often bc he wants to be all tough, but his fav place to be is in the crook of your neck where it’s warm and he can feel close to you

pls reward him for good behavior w a lil kiss

he’ll tell you you're being gross and make a big show of wiping your “germs” away

but he secretly loves it

there was one time you didn’t peck him for a week and he actually got nervous in an angry kind of way

asked if you were mad at him in the smallest voice you’ve ever heard him use

also stomps when he’s angry

pls he’s like the cutest most annoying alarm clock

i love him

Todoroki Shouto:

if izu and katsuki are the angel on your right, shouto’s the devil on your left

don’t get me wrong, the little guy will suggest you do your work

but…if you can still get the grade you want and skip out on a few things, who is he to say otherwise

a strong advocate of work smarter, not harder LMAOOO

you secretly think it’s bc he likes to take as many naps as he can with you

anyways, shouto is about 4 ¾ inches in height give or a take a couple centimeters

he’s got an unnaturally deep voice for a pocket hero

he’s very quiet, reserved most times, and will be your silent support as you go about your day

but pls don’t think he doesn’t have the slickest mouth known to man just bc he’s quiet

there was one time you asked your teacher a question and they were being difficult

you went back and forth for a few min, failing to notice the irritation growing on todoroki’s face

then he just blurted out, “and you’re supposed to have a degree in education?”

thankfully, your teacher didn’t hear him but when I tell you your heart dropped

you can’t take this man nowhere

he’s just a very sassy pocket hero

you get some lip from him too sometimes but threaten to take away his soba and he’ll shut up real quick

shouto likes to hang out on top of your head and lay there

also likes to sit on your shoulder and idly swing his legs

when you’re both bored in class, he’ll make little ice sculptures to get you more alert

you let him read articles out to you bc his voice is really soothing

todo lives for head pats or when you gently scratch his head with your finger

he’ll chase your finger if you pull away too soon

you think he purrs but shouto won’t admit to anything

when he’s feeling clingy, he’ll raise his arms up signaling for you to hold him in your hand

it’s annoying sometimes bc you need to take notes or something but does it look like this boy cares?

pick him up now!

if you get stressed, he makes you put down whatever you're doing and drink some water

forces you to take a nap if it’s really bad

all pocket heroes have a reserved “bed” so their caretaker doesn’t harm them when they sleep, but todoroki is wiling to risk death if it means curling up on your chest

your heartbeat helps him sleep easier

i wanna protect him at all costs

im no longer accepting requests!

#izuku midoriya #bakugo katsuki #todoroki shouto #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #pocket heroes

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 4 years

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Talk to me, please! [Oliver Wood x Reader] - Requested

Title: Talk to me, please! Pairing: Oliver Wood x Slytherin!Female!Reader Word count: 4.2k Published: 8 October, 2020 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Warning: Swearing Notes: I got this request from @leeayda04 and I just loved writing it <3 Now I didn’t know if I was supposed to write male or female, therefore I went with female, but do let me know if you want me to change it. Summary: After your fight with Oliver, you decide to make him suffer a little. Unfortunately things slowly get out of hand and you don’t know how to turn things around, before you lose him. Request: [x]

“Hey! I was wondering if you can make a one shot where oliver is dating reader the popular charming slytherin and he kept forgetting about thier date that make reader furious and end up having a big fight where reader gave him silent treatment” - @leeayda04

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

Oliver was a sweetheart. The sweetest boyfriend you have ever had. He always made sure to shower you with his love, he held onto your hand as if he never wanted to let go, he hid face in the crook of your neck just to feel a tad bit closer. If you didn’t stop him, he would have screamed to the whole Great Hall how much he loved you.

You were quite popular, and Oliver prided himself in calling you his, only his. You have had quite a few people around you who wished the two of you would break up already, wanting a chance with you finally, but you two were way too in love to care.

There were some Gryffindors who whispered behind your back, and grimaced at the sight of you together, but he ignored the disgusted looks he got for being in a relationship with you, a Slytherin, because he adored you more than he thought he could show.

Whilst he was indeed the best boyfriend in your eyes before, things have changed recently. To the worst.

You were sitting in Madam Puddifoot’s tea shop, your eyes wandering towards the door every couple of seconds. Your eyes shot up as you heard the bell above the door each time it opened, but he was never the one to step into the shop.

You looked at your muggle watch, which you got from Oliver for your 17th birthday. You furrowed your brows as you realised he has been late for over an hour already. You heaved a deep sigh, storm of thoughts swirling around in your head. You placed the leftover of your cup of tea on the top of the saucer, before standing up, placing your jacket over your shoulders and leaving the café behind.

You wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, you wanted to tell him what an ignorant boyfriend he has become, but you just couldn’t form the words you wanted to say. Until now. The tightening feeling in your chest, the little ball in your throat made your jaw clench. You shouldn’t have felt as if you have gotten used to this feeling. You were angered by Oliver’s behaviour. He has always been the kindest, sweetest boyfriend you ever had, but recently the boy had been everywhere but beside you.

It was not the first time he didn’t appear on your date, nor the second or third. You have warned him on numerous occasions, but the boy seemed to prioritise everything, but you. His excuses were always the same. He got busy, he had an extra quidditch practice, he had to study. It was getting tiring and you couldn’t swallow it anymore, it was too much.

You strutted towards the Gryffindor common room, your steps loud and hurried against the concrete ground. You expected the stairs to go on about their way and make it harder for you to get to the boy, they were moody after all, but everything seemed way too smooth as if you were supposed to let your anger out on the boy.

You barely reached the Gryffindor common room, a student just leaving, the door still opened behind him. You quickly stood in front of it, sliding through the hole, immediately facing your boyfriend’s laughing form on the couch.

Oliver was seated on a sofa in front of the fireplace, the Weasley twins seated on his right side, whilst each Percy and Lee occupied an armchair for themselves.

“Khm.” You cleared your throat to get Oliver’s attention, but he didn’t seem to hear you. Fred looked at you first, followed by his brother George. You found it easy to make a difference between them, you have been around them for far too long.

It wasn’t a good relationship at the beginning, but slowly they started to warm up to you, even if they still enjoyed teasing you here and there. However, looking at the deathly glare you projected at them, they knew better than to try anything.

Fred nudged Oliver’s shoulder who was in a conversation with Percy. You didn’t really concentrate on what they were talking about, you only caught a couple of words about lessons and exams. Oliver looked at Fred with a raised brow, before he followed his eyes, finding you staring at him with a stern look, raised brows and folded arms in front of your chest.

“Love, what are you doing here?” He asked nonchalantly, making you frown at the clueless boy.

“I think that should be my question.” You hissed in anger. “You shouldn’t be here, instead you should have been with me in Hogsmeade.”

“Oh, for Godric’s sake, I forgot, love. I’m so sorry. I will grab my coat and we can go.” He shot up from his seat heading towards the male dormitory, but your voice stopped him.

“Oh, no you don’t. I was waiting for you over an hour, Oliver.” You groaned and he flinched as he heard his name. You didn’t use it often, nor did he use yours. You preferred calling each other in all kinds of endearing pet names. “This is not even the first time.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” He spoke as he turned around and started walking towards you.

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Wood.” You hissed, your jaw clenching in anger. He flinched once again, realising that the conversation was going to get heated very quickly.

“Maybe we should go somewhere private, love.” He tried to convince you, but you didn’t listen. If anything, you got even more worked up.

“Don’t call me, love and don’t try to tell me what to do!” You groaned as you stepped back from him. “Are you scared that people will realise what a shitty boyfriend you can be? Because that’s what you have been recently. At first, I understood, you are the captain of the quidditch team after all, sure you have some obligations, but it has started becoming a thing where you completely forget about me.” You didn’t even realise when you raised your voice, but at this point you didn’t even mind. You were way too upset with the boy.

“I didn’t mean to, I promise. I’m so sorry.” His guilty expression and apologetic look made you want to step closer and pull him in for a hug, but you stopped yourself. He has promised you so many times already that he would pay more attention, but recently his words meant nothing to you.

“How many times are you going to apologise? I can’t even take your words seriously anymore.”

“What?” He grimaced at your words. “What else do you want me to say? I fucked up, I apologised.” It was his turn to raise his voice this time, his Scottish accent thickening as his anger rose.

“But you keep fucking up non-stop, Wood. It’s not once or twice! You have left me; you have forgotten about me on numerous occasions. How long do I have to keep accepting your apologies when you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again? I’m tired, Oliver.” You groaned, your tone irritated, still slightly breaking after each word.

“I don’t understand you. I told you, I’m under constant stress. We need to win the Quidditch cup, we have to focus on all the extra practices, I have to get ready for the exams, I literally am non-stop studying. I can’t always hang around you when you ask.” You have heard all his excuses before, they weren’t anything new, but the idea of you asking him to hang around you, got you worked up.

“I’m in my 7th year too. I have as much responsibilities as you do and if anything, it’s not even me who initiates to meet up, but you, so then you can completely forget about it. What do you think how it feels when your boyfriend keeps promising sweet little dates, but attends to none?” You shook your head as you exhaled deeply. “If you continue like this, you will be single before you even realise it.” You huffed.

“What?” His eyes shot up, capturing your stern gaze. His jaw hang law in surprise, his eyes wider than ever. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You will have to figure that out, Oliver.” You shook your head as you turned around and left the stunned boy behind. You expected him to come after you, to try to stop you, to try to talk to you, but he didn’t even move. He stood in the Gryffindor common room with the same shocked expression across his face as he watched the portrait hole, whilst you headed towards the dungeon, knowing you would cry the night away.

You barely arrived at your dormitory, you threw the door open and flopped down on your bed. You wanted to scream, you wanted to be angry, but instead teardrops after teardrops ran down your cheeks, heart-wrenching sobs left your lungs.

The thought of losing Oliver hurt like hell. You loved the boy more than you thought you would ever love someone, but you couldn’t put yourself through so much pain all the time. His ignorance hurt you and you just couldn’t do this to yourself anymore.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to break up with him or if you just needed some break from him to try and figure things out on your own, but you were certain that you needed to concentrate on yourself now. Only on you.

As the morning came, you woke up with bloodshot eyes, each accompanied by small puffy bags under them. Your headache was pounding hard against your skull, making you groan. You got yourself out of bed, dragging yourself over to the bathroom, almost stumbling back as you recognised your reflection in the mirror.

“Really? This is how I look because of some stupid boy? I’m pathetic.” You scoffed at the sight of you, scolding yourself. You were always a strong person, always there to support others. The sight of your pale skin, pain-filled expression and swollen cheeks gave you an encouraging kick in your backside. You were having none of this. You were stronger than to let yourself go over someone who didn’t seem to care about you.

You finished your morning routine, dressed into your uniform and walked back to your room. You halted as you felt all 3 pairs of eyes studying you with a worried look. Pansy walked up to you first, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“We heard you last night.” She said with a sympathetic look. The girl wasn’t an angel per se, but you could always rely on her. She wasn’t a social person, but those who were close to her could enjoy all the benefits her friendship included, which meant she was to kill for those she cared about, almost literally.

“Thank you for worrying about me, Pansy, but I’m fine. Things just got a bit harder recently, but I’m good.” You explained with a reassuring smile. She knew the story back and forth, but she also knew you. You didn’t have to say much, she understood that you were dealing with it on your own. She nodded in response, before she took her wand out and pointed it in your face. “Hey.” You stepped back abruptly, but she chuckled at your behaviour.

“Calm down, I don’t think you want to go out like that.” She grinned at your unappealing look. You rolled your eyes and let her perform some easy spells. As she finished, you turned around to look into the mirror beside the door and you couldn’t stop a little smile from crawling up on your lips. “Not bad, huh?” Pansy winked with a proud smirk.

“Don’t get too cocky, I’m naturally good looking.” You scoffed, before your smile turned into a playful grin.

“Right, Ms. Confidence. Let’s get some food into your system.” She shook her head as she started pushing you out the door, your other two roommates following behind.

You walked up to the Great Hall, Pansy talking about Draco Malfoy for the umpteenth time. The girl was smitten, and Draco knew about it, but he seemed to be rather ignorant towards her. You never dared to voice it to Pansy, deep down she knew, but it felt good for her to crush over someone.

As you reached the Great Hall, you immediately headed towards the Slytherin table, taking a seat beside Pansy, who decided to sit next to Draco. You chuckled at the two. Draco rolled his eyes, very obviously wishing for the girl’s disappearance, whilst Pansy just chuckled happily enjoying the boy’s mere presence. They were definitely a comical pair, but it was somewhat helpful, it lightened your mood.

You took a piece of scone from the middle of the table, buttering its top, before you shoved it in your mouth. You enjoyed the sweet taste spreading around your tongue, when you felt a presence beside you. You turned to the side where Oliver decided to take a seat, his eyes eagerly watching you. Your heart sped up, as you saw the hurtful expression he was wearing. You wanted to pull him closer, hid his face in the crook of your neck, just the way he loved it, but you didn’t move. Your logic won over your heart.

“Can we talk?” His tone was weak, almost pleading, but as guilty as you felt, you knew you shouldn’t have. It was all his fault to begin with. You scoffed and turned back to your breakfast, taking another scone and repeating the process. “Love, please.” He reached for your hand, but you just pulled it away. You didn’t look at the boy though, your new game was to pretend that he never even existed. “I’m begging you, please talk to me.” He tried again, his voice breaking your stern wall protecting you, but before you could have given in, Pansy interrupted you.

“Can’t you see she doesn’t want to talk to you? She doesn’t even want to see you, Wood. Now, off you go, your playmates are missing you.” She snarled, clear disgust showing in her voice. She never liked the boy after all, but she did ignore his existence for your sake.

“Y/N-” he started, but Pansy let out an animalistic growl. You had to swallow a laugh that was about erupt from your lungs. You didn’t look at the boy, simply waited for him to leave you be, just like he did so many times before.

He studied your face, waiting hopefully even for just a stolen glance from you, but you never looked at the boy. You didn’t want to, and it irritated you that it took him so long to understand. Finally, he stood up and left your table, heading back to his own.

“Thanks, Pansy.” You smiled sweetly as she nodded in reply and turned back to Draco.

Days passed by since you have last talked to Oliver. The boy was restless, apologising to you in every corner, declaring his love for you on every occasion. You felt weak against him. You have never kept such a distance between you and whilst you were strong on the outside, you wished nothing but to throw yourself into his arms, enjoying the warmth of his body against you.

Oliver was also at a breaking point. He scolded himself for his ignorance in each and every waking moment. He didn’t know what to do, he felt useless, nothing he has tried worked. You built up a wall between you and he had no idea how to take it down. He knew what an idiot he has been, and he kept beating himself up for it, but he was running out of ideas on how to get you back.

He couldn’t have known that you were slowly giving in and you couldn’t have known that he was slowly giving up.

Oliver was sitting in Potions, listening to Professor Snape, his complete attention on the teachers. You tried to steal secret glances from the boy, but he didn’t return them. This was the first time he didn’t try to look at you, he didn’t send you apologetic notes, he didn’t ask one of his friends to convince you to talk to him. Were you losing him? Your chest painfully tightened at the thought. You didn’t want to give in to the negativity, it wasn’t lost yet. That wasn’t possible, you wanted to believe.

A piece of scrunched up parchment flew over to your table, your heart jumping in anticipation. You looked at Oliver once again, but he firmly concentrated on his notes, instead of searching for your reaction. You looked down on your table, opening the piece of paper.

I’m guessing Oliver and you are finally over. Go on a date with me, love. I’m sure you would enjoy my company.

Be at the Slytherin common room entrance on Saturday by 11am. I don’t accept a no; we both know it’s been coming.

Marcus

You frowned at the note, a grimace spread across your face. You turned around to look at Marcus Flint, captain of the quidditch team of your house, arch enemy of Oliver. You shook your head in a reply, a silent scoff leaving your lips. As you turned back around, you caught Oliver’s eyes, your heart skipping a beat as your gaze locked. However as quickly as it came, Oliver turned away, not wanting to see you. He was just as hurt as you were.

The week slowly passed by, but Oliver haven’t tried to get close to you again. If anything, it was his turn to ignore you and you didn’t know what to do about it. You wanted to walk up to him and apologise for ignoring him, but your pride was winning over your heart every time.

You sat at your table in the Great Hall, hunched above your lunch, your face hidden behind your palms. You kept heaving deep sighs, Pansy groaning at your annoying behaviour. You tried to ignore the younger girl; she didn’t have enough experience to know how it felt being eaten up by your own stupid thoughts.

You huffed as you pushed your face further into your hands, wanting to disappear. You didn’t expect a hand to grab your arm and pull you up from your place.

“Was I not clear enough?” You stumbled as Marcus pulled on you, his hands painfully wrapped around your arm, surely leaving red marks on the surface of your skin. “It’s past 12pm already. Did you try to stand me up? I think I have clearly told you that I don’t accept a no.” He growled as he started pulling you after him, dragging you out of the Great Hall, numerous pair of eyes on you.

You tried to pull your arm out of his firm grip, but the boy was stronger than you. “I did tell you I didn’t want to go with you.” You groaned as you pulled on your arm again, but your attempt was once again unsuccessful.

“If you haven’t noticed, I wasn’t asking you. We are going on a date.” He hissed in anger as he dragged you after him. You struggled against his hold, before a second hand joined in, holding on to the same arm Marcus lead you by. You looked up to see Oliver, who pulled your arm back, forcing Marcus to let you go.

All of you halted as you massaged your arm, a bright red handprint decorating the surface of your skin. Oliver’s jaw clenched, his gaze full of anger as he watched Marcus with a disgusted grimace.

“What do you think you are doing?” He asked your housemate, his low and firm tone even scaring you for a second.

“I’m taking her on a date.” He hissed, clearly upset about Oliver’s arrival.

“I don’t think so.” He stepped in front of you. You wanted to stand up for yourself, you didn’t want to feel like a damsel in distress, but you were dancing on a thin line and you didn’t dare to risk the last hope he was giving you by helping you out.

“I don’t think you have a say in it, Wood.” He scoffed, clearly annoyed by Oliver’s behaviour.

“She doesn’t seem to want to go with you.” He looked back at you for confirmation and so you shook your head. “I strongly suggest you disappear now, Flint.” He growled, his tone almost animalistic, his voice threatening.

“Why, what are you going to do, huh?” Marcus taunted the boy. You couldn’t see the face Oliver was making, let alone if he has whispered something, but Marcus took a step back, his jaw tightening in anger. “Enjoy yourselves, then.” He spit in anger, before he turned on his heels and left the two of you behind. You frowned at the unexpected events; a confused look spread across your face as you looked up at Oliver.

“You okay?” He asked as he finally looked at you, or your arm at least, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You replied as you hid your arm behind your back. “Thank you. For helping me.” You offered him a small smile, but he didn’t return it.

He simply nodded. “It’s okay.” He heaved a deep sigh, not knowing what to do, just like you, standing in front of him, not finding the right words. “Well, see you.” He spoke up again, tears pricking your eyes as you realised the most you could muster was an awkward conversation. It slowly started downing on you that your relationship was indeed over with Oliver and when he walked past you, heading back to the Great Hall, it felt like he was walking away for the last time.

You didn’t have the power to turn around, you just watched the floor in front of you, trying to understand when it has all gone bad. You removed an escaped tear from your cheek and sniffled as you tried to get yourself together.

“Y/N?” You heard his voice from further away. You quickly cleared your cheeks and turned around with a fake smile plastered across your face. He heaved a deep sigh, making you wait in anticipation, before he continued. “I know I have done some pretty shitty things, but I never meant to hurt you intentionally, you know that right?” He asked, his gaze filled with guilt.

“I know, you didn’t.” You were struggling against the tears that wanted to escape, but you firmly held them back.

“I know you probably don’t want to see me, nor do you really want to talk to me, but-“ he gulped loudly, trying to find the right words, fearing of pushing you away even further. “when you walked out of the common room, I didn’t believe you were really giving up on us. I really thought we could solve it just like always.” You wanted to scream at him, you wanted to tell him off for thinking you have given up on him. “I’m really sorry for disappointing you.” He gave you a saddened smile.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you.” You blurted out, but you didn’t regret it. “I just thought you would deserve to feel how hard it is to be ignored. I never thought it would actually get this far.” His eyes widened in surprise, but you couldn’t see it, your gaze was fixed on your shoes, drawing random patterns on the ground.

“You didn’t want to break up with me?” He asked, his tone full of hope. Your eyes shot up as you quickly shook your head. “Do you think, maybe we could try again? I know my words don’t weigh much, but I don’t want to give up on us, I really want to show you how much I care about you, how much I love you.” He stepped closer, stopping right in front of you.

“I want to, but I’m scared. You really did hurt me.” You sighed deeply.

“I know, I did.” He whispered, reaching for your hands as he took them into his, caressing the back of your hands with his thumbs. “I promise to pay attention to you more, just like I did before. Being apart made me realise that I want nothing more than being with you.” He confessed, his voice defeated, but still hopeful. “Please, love.” His pleading chocolate brown eyes, his guilt-filled, apologetic tone was all you needed.

“I can’t say no to you, can I?” You chuckled sweetly, a sound he has been craving to hear once again. His arms sneaked around your waist, yours wrapped around his neck, engulfing each other in the warmest hug you could possibly share. He hid his face in the crook of your neck, finding his favourite spot, your presence making him relaxed once again.

“Thank you so much.” He murmured against your neck, his breath tickling your skin, making you chuckle.

“I love you, Oliver. But you better not break my heart again.” You scolded him as he pulled back, his eyes meeting yours.

“Not even in my nightmares.” He shook his head, leaning closer and hinting a lingering kiss on your forehead. “I’d rather you broke my heart.” He whispered as he leaned down to your lips, kissing you feverishly, hoping to recover the amount of intimate moments you could have spent together, loving each other just like you did before.

Taglist: @inkhearthes @hufflefluff-writer @fific7 @haphazardhufflepuff @obsessedwithrandomthings @kalimagik @accio-rogers @pcseidcnsvoid @harrypotter289 @nebulablakemurphy @firewhisky-kisses @iliveiloveiwrite @mytreec @chaoticgirl04 @idont-knowrn @mayaaa-l @imboredandneedalife @pregnant-piggy @prongsies @holdupwhat @ravenclea @kashishwrites @izzytheninja @timogtrrz @wassup-peoples @levylovegood @msmimimerton @nhcwdw

Notes: If you enjoyed it, don’t forget to like and/or reblog the fic. Thank you :)

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amjustagirl · 3 years

Text

Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven. ~ eight.

Wordcount: 2k

Summary: Being with Miya Atsumu is like chasing a storm - equal parts exhilaration and danger. After all, it’s impossible to tame a storm

Masterlist here

AO3 link here

Author’s Note: And we’re at the penultimate chapter! Am rly excited to hear what you guys think - so please, drop me an ask, a note, a comment, anything!!! Thank you for following this fic with me <3

He stays away from her over the next two weeks. He still picks Shino up from childcare - he’s never leaving his little girl again - but takes Osamu’s advice to duck into the kitchen the minute he hears the bell chime to mark her entrance into the shop.

‘Is everything alright with Atsumu?’ he hears her ask Osamu after a week of radio silence from him.

He imagines Osamu just shrugs, because his twin later gives him a look of askance that he ignores.

‘Meet me on Sunday afternoon? Was hoping to have a quick chat and pass something over to you since my arm is out of its sling.Osamu agreed to take Shino for a couple of hours, so don’t worry about her’, he texts her.

‘Fine’, she texts back. ‘Works for me’.

‘Hey’, he greets her as she opens the door, fighting the impulse to scruff his shoes into the ground like a nervous schoolboy on his first date.

‘Hey yourself’, she responds without heat, slipping on her shoes. ‘Shall we?’

He nods, turning on his heel and she follows suit, their footfalls matching in pace, though they angle their bodies to avoid each other’s gaze in the lift. They do not exchange a single word until they reach the car park, and he leads her past all the cars to a dim corner, lit by a single flickering electric bulb.

‘Atsumu - what’s this?’ she says, staring uncomprehendingly at the motorbike parked in front of her, the exact replica of the bike she sold when she got pregnant with Shino, albeit updated with a shining coat of new paint and the latest modifications, top of the line.

‘Surprise?’ he tells her, unable to hide a grin when she runs a hand reverently over the seat of the bike.

‘I can’t accept this, ‘Tsumu. It’s too much’, she demurs but he knows she’s fallen in love when she’s unable to tear her eyes away from the bike.

‘Sure ya can! I registered it under yer name, and paid for the parking fees for the year, and look! It even comes with a helmet!’, he assures her, crossing his fingers behind his back. ‘Ya can ride it whenever ya have time to yerself - I’ll make sure I or ‘Samu will take Shino-chan for a couple hours every weekend so ya can go break some speed limits on the bike!’

‘This isn’t a bribe, right? Or some attempt to trick me into agreeing into something I don’t want to do?’ she asks him suspiciously.

‘No - no tricks, I swear on my life. Look - I’ve signed the divorce papers, they’re in my bag. I just wanted to give ya the bike as a partin' gift’, he says, keeping his voice deliberately light.

She stares at him, searching his face for any sign of duplicity, but he holds her gaze until she turns away, satisfied.

‘You never do anything by halves, do you ‘Tsumu? But thank you anyway’, she laughs breathily and his heart lurches to a start when he sees her slowly start to glow whilst fussing over the bike, exclaiming to herself as she admires the paint job and the extra compartments he’d gotten the mechanic to install.

Watching her brings back memories of their adventures together before Shino came along. She’d pick him up for a ride to the outskirts of Osaka on their rare days off, in search for a spot to lay their picnic mat down and shoot the breeze. They’d never found that perfect picnic spot, but that just meant that there were more places to explore, more roads to traverse, more adventures for them to go on. That’d all stopped once Shino came along, and he wonders if they wouldn’t be in such a state if he’d put in more effort to carve out more time for them.

And even before that - there was the time she’d surprised him by turning up in Kobe for one of his matches, sweeping him away from his confused teammates right after the match to celebrate over egg mayo sandwiches at 7-11. He suspects that was the day he’d fallen in love with her, half realising that she was probably the only person crazy enough to burn hours on the road on the back her rusty old bike right after an exam, just to stay up all night sitting cross-legged in a dim combini with mayo in her hair, listening to him ramble about his volleyball match.

Wow. 'Samu's right. Even the reason he fell in love with her was fucking selfish.

‘Hey ‘Tsumu’, he hears her say after a while and he looks up. ‘Wanna go for a ride?’ she asks brightly, twirling the keys around her finger.

‘Huh?’ he responds, genuinely perplexed.

‘A ride, you idiot. Don’t you want to find out how the bike feels on the road, especially since you’re the one who paid for it?’

‘Sure’, he says, a little lost - but then again she’s always found ways to keep him on his toes. ‘But there’s only one helmet’.

‘I still have my old one upstairs. Give me a second so I can get it!’ she rushes off, a spring in her step he’s sorely missed seeing and despite the ache in his heart, he smiles.

His smile vanishes the moment she kicks the bike full throttle and hurtles through weekend Osaka traffic at breakneck speed, making such sharp turns he almost falls off the bike if he weren’t already clutching her waist for dear life. ‘Oi! Look out!’ he yelps, as she weaves her way through narrow gaps between cars, seemingly deaf to the horns of outraged drivers behind her - and fuck he wants to puke but can’t because there’s no way that doesn’t end badly for him.

‘Slow down, you fuckin' maniac’, he manages to shout when his stomach gives itself up for dead, but the wind swallows his words and she only whoops in response. The neon city lights blur into a mess of colours and he runs through his repertoire of curse words. He swears she’s evil - it’s not enough that she’s killed him once by divorcing him, her insane riding is going to make sure he’s doubly dead.

They burst onto the highway in a squeal of tires, the city skyline fading into a sea of lights, and they’re both so focused on the road ahead of them, well – she is, at least, he’s trying his level best to stay on his seat - that neither of them notice the dark clouds gathering above until the first splatter of raindrops on the road.

The sky is threatening enough to make her swerve off the highway into a quiet neighbourhood, screeching to a halt at the nearest park with an empty shelter large enough to fit both of them. They jump off the bike, helmets dangling over their arm, and she catches hold of his hand as they splash their way through muddy puddles in a bid to escape the incoming storm.

‘That was amazing!’ she laughs when they reach shelter, twirling on the tips of her feet, cheeks flushed pink with excitement, looking so happy and bright and alive - like a bird spreading its wings to fly high in the sky, the way she used to be before their marriage broke her wings and shackled her to the ground.

If only he hadn’t been blinded by the false allure of his dreams to appreciate what was right in front of him - a woman bold enough to whisk him away from the clutches of deranged fans on the back of a motorbike, fierce enough for Osamu to assign her to deal with his bullshit - and most of all, crazy enough to marry and have a child with him. And he knows she isn’t his, not anymore, but he's a greedy, selfish man, and he wants her one last time, so he throws his jacket over her shoulders as a pretext for drawing her close to him, slanting his mouth gently over hers.

She stills for a second, and he’s about to pull away when she melts into him, tilting her chin up to grant him greater access to her lips. An unexpected heat coils in his stomach when she tangles her fingers in his hair, scraping her nails against his scalp, a thrill running down his spine as he loses himself in her familiar softness and warmth and groans.

She gasps, jerking away from him, tracing her bruised lips with her fingers, looking up at him with wide eyes.

‘Tsumu’, she begins to say, but he cuts her off, frantic with worry that he’s scared her off before he’s had the chance to say his piece.

‘I’m sorry - I know I shouldn’t have but I just...can I just say what I meant to say to ya before this?’ he asks, banking on the fact that she hasn’t slapped him yet, and to his relief, she nods.

‘I’ve thought about what ya said, and yer right - I’ve taken so much from ya I don’t deserve to ask ya for anything else, not when I should be the one making it up to ya for the rest of my life,’ he says, his heart cracking beneath his ribs (so it’s true, a heart can actually break) – because he knows now she’s lost to him, has been the second he'd forsaken his vows and stormed out of her life, but he gulps a breath to calm his pulse, forcing himself to continue on.

‘All I want is for ya to be happy and free - and if signing these papers is the price I have to pay, I’ll do it for ya’. Then he draws the brown envelope from his bag, holding it out to her with shaking hands.

She makes no move to take it from him.

‘Do you even love me, ‘Tsumu?’ she asks, her voice feather light, a wisp in the wind. ‘Be honest with me, you don’t have to lie’.

There’s a searing pain in his chest and he closes his eyes, losing himself to the undercurrent of regret pulsing in his mind.

‘I do’, he manages to choke out, peeling aside the rotting layers of vanity and greed and selfishness and pride to flay his chest open to present his heart to her, in all its bleeding, broken glory.

‘Yer everythin’ I could’ve ever asked for, and it’s killin’ me to watch you walk away - but I deserve it cos I’m a fuckin’ idiot for not realisin’ that sooner, and ya have no idea how fuckin’ sorry I am for hurting ya so badly and making you think that I don’t love ya - because I do, gods, I do, I love ya so goddamned much.’

‘Does our marriage mean that much to you?’ she stares at him, her eyes clouded with an emotion he can’t make out.

‘Yes’, he says simply, his response both a confession and a prayer. He makes no move to touch her, fearful that any misstep might tip them both over the edge, the storm of emotions swirling within him already threatening to swallow him whole.

‘Then ask me again, ‘Tsumu’ she whispers, her fists clenched, trembling by her side.

He blinks at her, but his confusion morphs into elated disbelief when she takes the brown envelope from him and rips it cleanly in half.

Oh.

‘Ask me again, ‘Tsumu’, she repeats, the clouds in her eyes clearing into pools of light. He wonders if it mirrors the rush of warmth and love and most of all - hope, overflowing in his heart.

‘Wanna try jumping off a cliff again?’ he asks, voice shaking, echoing the request he made of her years ago.

She steps forward into his waiting arms, her smile like golden sunlight spilling through grey rain.

‘Only if you promise to jump with me’, she says softly against his chest.

He catches her forgiveness desperately in his hands, and seals his promise with his lips.

#haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!!#haikyuu writing #hq writing #haikyuu imagines #hq imagines #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #miya atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x y/n #haikyuucreations #miya atsumu #miya osamu #inarizaki

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kayparker20 · 3 years

Note

Sakura Haruno + Fishing pole + Hokage Mountain

I'm very sorry it took me so long, I was struggling to figure out how the hell I was going to make a fishing pole work. It made it fun though!

Credit to my boyfriend for the original idea, I was vocalizing my issue with coming up with something and he just thought for two seconds and the base of this plot came flying out of him and I couldn't have laughed harder or been more thankful!

This is just funny and doesn't desire a rating

“Don’t you ever get tired of being in the background?” Ino droned on.

Sakura smiled. “Oh, the background? Maybe in the big picture, but certainly not here. I make them pay for all the trouble they cause me.”

Ino raised an eyebrow. “That almost sounded kinky, but it’s coming from you so it can’t be.”

She shrugged. “For example, Kakashi failed to come to his medical exam we’re supposed to have after every mission, after promising me he would go.” She rests her chin in the palm of her hand and giggled lightly. “I’m the only one he trusts with his house key to keep Mr. Ukki alive when he goes on long term missions. Let’s see how long it will take him to realize volume four of Icha Icha is missing from his shelves.”

She casually pulls the book from her side pouch. “And it gets even better. You see, he’ll notice in minutes when he goes to put away volume three upon his return in,” She peeks up at the sky, gauging the time by the sun. “I’d say roughly 20 minutes. Which means, it’s time for me go.”

She sat at the edge of Hokage mountain, right in between her master’s bangs, fitting perfectly into the center part. She currently held a fishing pole and was tying up a bright pink book at the end of the line. She wrapped the line around the book so many times, being sure it would be secure from falling. She mourned that it may have creases on the cover later on, but it served him right.

Maybe if he ought to take care of himself just as well as he takes care of his books.

After tying creating a couple loops, trying them together and creating yet another knot, she tested it. After deciding it was sturdy and wouldn’t break, she reeled in the access line, and swung it over the cliff.

“Should be any minute now….” She mumbled to herself. “How could anyone miss the bright pink, especially with that sharingan.”

“And just what do you think you’re doing…?”

She smirked. Of course, the tone sounded indifferent. However, when she took a glance, she could see every bit of tension in the legendary man’s body.

“I’ll have to try this next time you’re late, seems casting out an Icha Icha books gets you to show up in no time.”

“You’re going to crease it!” He took a step forward.

She let go of the release to let the line unwind more, letting the book dangle an extra 10 feet lower before she grasped it again to stop it. “I seem to remember you making a promise.”

“I went!”

She grimaced at him. “You do remember I work there, right? And have access to all the charts? Especially to my teammates as our medic. You know what was missing, two hours after you checking with Lady Tsunade?”

He raised a hand to scratch the back of his neck. “Maaah, Sakura-chan, you know I hate hospitals. I had been looking for you to let you check me over.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Nice try, but you were looking for this.” She swung the pole, letting the book float through the above Tsunade’s nose.

She heard him wince as he stared intently at his book.

She smirked before turning her body and reeling it in, and casting it towards him. Books don’t have the best aerodynamics, but the bounded papers got there on a rough path. It landed a few steps away from him on the ground. “Go ahead, grab it!”

He eyed her before taking a step.

As soon as he had lead forward, she reeled in a bit.

He glared at her. “You know I could move way faster than you can reel that pole.” He stated dryly.

“If you don’t humor me, I’m going to tell Anko you have a crush on her.” Sakura whipped right back at him. “If you cared as much about your well-being as you do about this book, you wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.” She huffed before reeling it in more.

He looked at her, debating if dealing with Anko believing he was smitten for her was worth just grabbing his book and making a run for it. He knew someone, somewhere would see such a humiliating sight, Copy Ninja Kakashi, brought to his knees by his giggling medic and a fishing pole with porn on it’s line.

He decided he’d never get rid of Anko, and could restore whatever damage comes to his reputation with the argument that it was that or deal with chakra strength fists. Everyone knew of Team 7’s weird dynamics, especially the one where the hot-headed medic beat the shit of them for being idiots and healed them ten minutes later.

He also liked being able to say she’s never even tried to beat him to pulp, rather that she forces him to take care of himself.

And in this moment, he realized it would only get worse if he continued to skip his wellness checks after missions.

He heaved a sigh and took a step forward and made a feeble attempt to grab his book at the sound of her cackling with delight.

#naruto fanfiction #kayparkerwrites #ask game #kakashi hatake #icha icha #sakura haruno #friendship #prompt: fishing pole #prompt: hokage mountain

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jcmorrigan · 3 years

Note

Blakeworther,,,but college

OKAY. I SAW THIS LAST NIGHT AND WAS THINKING ALL THROUGH LAST NIGHT AND THIS MORNING BECAUSE THIS HAD TO BE GOOD

Blakeworther: ORIGINS (hopefully actually canon-compliant?)

-Vincent didn’t want a roommate. But RMU has a policy that unless a first-year has an extreme medical condition that requires them to room alone, they have to double up due to high attendance rates vs. limited dorm space. So unfortunately, Vincent needs to stay in the same room as this “Victor Blake” person he’s never met before and probably won’t like.

-He opens the door to their room on the first day. Victor is already there, decorating his half of the room. And you think Victor is a flirt nowadays? This is a Victor straight out of high school, with lingering teenage hormones. He takes one look at Vincent, gives him a coy smile, and just goes “Hello, beautiful.” And winks.

-Vincent goes “Don’t talk to me” and starts setting up his side of the room.

-Well, that’s rude. Victor tries to engage in conversation a couple more times, but Vincent makes it clear he is NOT HAVING IT, so Victor eventually gives up and pouts. (Vincent really is pretty. But more importantly than that, Victor kind of wanted his roommate to be his friend. That seems like a requirement for the college experience.)

-Oh, well. If they can put up with each other for one (1) year, they can request new roommates for their second year.

-Vincent sets off for his 8 a.m. on the first day. Psychology 101. He gets going at about 7 because he NEEDS to make a statement by getting there first. Back in high school, he was valedictorian, and he must continue to show people how classy, smart, and punctual he is.

-He arrives at the classroom. Seemingly empty. He strides through the door -

-The next thing he knows, he’s on the floor. Someone has screamed. He thinks it’s him. He’s disheveled, his books scattered. What just happened?

-After assessing the situation and going over the split-second incident that is retroactively gelling in his memory, he realizes that he walked through that door, and somebody who was waiting on the other side of the wall, just around the corner and out of sight, leapt out and JUMPSCARED him the moment he walked in.

-He looks up at the perpetrator who stands above him, giggling his ass off. This asshole is wearing a bright pink shirt and he’s admittedly kinda cute but also this was unforgivable.

-Victor: “What the HELL was that for?” Pink Shirt Man: “I knew someone would come along who thought they were first, and I wanted to make it clear this is my territory. I was here for fifteen minutes before you.” Vincent: “Why the HELL were you waiting here for fifteen minutes - “

-He makes a point of gathering up his books VERY ANGRILY and stomping to the furthest corner of the classroom to sit as far away from Pink Shirt as possible. Then glares at him venomously.

-So. A word on Albert. He grew up an only child with very few friends. He’s got a roommate too, but the guy’s an introvert in dark glasses who barely talks, spends like all his time watching anime, and is visibly just scared of Albert. So that friendship is out the window.

-(Yes. It’s Winston. He has not had an easy life.)

-This leaves Albert, who has no idea how to appropriately interact with people but has way too much pent-up energy, trying to figure out how to get people’s attention so he can make friends. But when I say he has no idea, I mean he has NO idea.

-So he sits down in the front row where his stuff was previously and just turns and STARES AT VINCENT until the rest of the class files in. Vincent keeps his eyes turned anywhere but at this Pink Shirt Creep because who stares at somebody over their shoulder for ten solid minutes?

-Albert chalks this up as a victory. Sure, this dude hates him, but that’s more attention than he was getting before!

-For the rest of the class, Vincent is hoping they can just move on and have a normal day in which he knocks every question fired his way out of the park. But that’s not what happens. What happens is this PINK SHIRT ASSHOLE in the front row keeps answering questions without being called on, and not even seriously. With the most MORBID sense of humor.

-Prof: “What are the three ways to study the brain?” Albert: “Smash open the test subject’s skull, rip it out, and have fun.”

-Vincent KNEW the answer was “lesion, stimulation, recording” and he’s so mad.

-He leaves this class grumpy.

-He’s on an alternating schedule, so block A of classes one day, block B the next. His next classes for A day go well and he gets to show off a fair bit of his intellect. But then the last class of block B and it’s art.

-Guess who’s there? Not Victor, unfortunately!

-Vincent walks in the door and THE PINK SHIRT ASSHOLE is there and Albert just waves at him “Hello” and Vincent is in hell.

-Same thing. Albert spends the whole class being obnoxious and annoying, but in a way that gets the other students to laugh. And Vincent just stews.

-Over the next few days, Vincent spends a lot of study time in his room rather than in the library because it’s quieter. Victor respects that Vincent will complain if there’s too much noise and so wears headphones when he’s working because he likes music in the background.

-One day, he accidentally rips the headphone jack out of the laptop and the song he was listening to blares over the dorm. He fixes the volume, already going, “Well, sor-ry for the accident - “

-Vincent: “Actually, I like that song. Have you listened to the album or do you just like it as a standalone?”

-Victor: “I...I saw them in concert, actually.”

-They have the first real conversation they’ve ever had since they moved in together because they ended up liking the same song. And they’re happy to be talking about it. This is good! Maybe they can be friends after all!

-First exam in Psych 101. Vincent feels pretty confident. This is a test he didn’t really put too much effort into studying for because he’s confident he memorized everything from high school. Well...as it turns out, he didn’t. But he fudges it as best he can, sure he’s at least doing better than the simpletons of the class. He’s the only one who takes this seriously, after all.

-Exam results come back, and the prof reveals that he’s graded on a curve. One student and one alone got a 95% on the exam; the rest failed horrendously.

-Vincent is about to rest on his laurels when the prof says “And that person is Albert Krueger.”

-Who the hell is -

-PINK SHIRT ASSHOLE stands up and bows playfully.

-Vincent now has a name for his nemesis. ALBERT KRUEGER. He’ll remember that and not be happy about it.

-So he’s chatting with Victor a lot more now as they hang out. Victor has a problem one day because one of his econ courses has a particularly picky prof who’s failed every single one of his essays to date, and he’s afraid he’s going to actually fail his favorite subject.

-Vincent takes a look at that prof’s notes. To his eyes, it’s easy to see what arbitrary hoops the prof wants Victor to jump through. It’s also easy to see that Victor actually is doing what’s asked of him and grasping the material; the prof just demands these extra trappings, probably as a power trip.

-Vincent knows exactly how to write the next paper to make it fit requirements. And so he says, “If you don’t have a problem with plagiarism, I can get the next one to pass.”

-Victor: “Well, don’t make it too perfect, or they’ll catch on.”

-Vincent writes Victor a solid B- of a paper. And it’s graded with the expected B-. Victor is SO thankful and calls Vincent a genius.

-About time someone around here did. Since it strokes his ego, Vincent offers to do any paper Victor wants for him, free of charge.

-Meanwhile! In art class, they’ve been assigned a midterm visual art project. Vincent can already tell that his piece is...good but not great. You know who’s making a fantastic landscape painting that everyone else in the studio ahhs at every day he works on it? AAAAAALBERT KRUEGER.

-Vincent is trying so hard not to explode.

-Vincent and Victor decide to eat lunch together because they like each other now. They head on down to the cafeteria, load up their plates with food, go to get the last two puddings on the shelf -

-Somebody takes the last two puddings.

-GUESS WHO?

-Albert: “I believe it is they who snooze who must lose.” He didn’t even want two puddings. But while people can get temporarily impressed with his prowess, annoying people is the only way he can REALLY get lasting attention. Most people go “Albert’s painting is so cool!” and leave. Vincent, though? Vincent keeps on making a SCENE out of it and Albert likes that. So he made sure neither Vincent nor Vincent’s friend could have any pudding.

-Vincent and Victor sit down, pudding-less. Victor: “Who was that guy?”

-Vincent explains the whole thing. He rambles for almost the whole lunch period about how much he HATES Albert. Culminating in how he knows that Albert’s art project is going to get highest marks and make Vincent’s look so much worse by its very existence.

-Victor: “You know...I have a plan, but it’s not entirely legal. If you want to get back at him, though...” Vincent: “I’m listening.”

-They break into the locked art studio after hours and RIP ALBERT’S PAINTING INTO SHREDS. That’s, like, twenty hours of work just gone. They leave no evidence.

-The following day, Albert approaches the two of them at lunch: “I know it was you. You can’t lie to me about this. From now on, we are at war. You, Vincent, are my mortal enemy. And you, Vincent’s accomplice, I know were talked into this by him, but you’re on the thinnest of ice.”

-Vincent’s fine with this. Victor thinks it’s funny and doesn’t own up to having come up with the idea.

-Anyway, Vincent and Victor start hanging out more, so when there’s a school dance, they decide to go together. Just as bros, not as PARTNERS what are you even - no. Platonic. Heheheheh

-And they have a good time dancing! Vincent doesn’t normally like this sort of thing, but Victor’s into it, so they’re cutting a rug.

-A small throng of students is gathered in the middle of the floor, watching some spectacle. Victor wants to see what’s going on. So he brings Vincent over.

-Everyone’s watching a particular student just absolutely breakdance with the greatest of skill. And GUESS WHO?

-Vincent enters RAGE MODE

-Victor: “Oh, no, here we go.” (Secretly thinking to himself that Albert did have some sexy moves indeed.)

-Vincent storms in and CHALLENGES ALBERT TO A DANCE-OFF. Albert accepts. Victor calls himself a third competitor so as not to be left out, and Vincent rules that either he or Victor winning will be a victory for Vincent.

-Well, Albert gains more applause by a LANDSLIDE. Vincent and Victor are good dancers, but Albert is FANTASTIC. Vincent complains the rest of the night and Victor’s just “Look, I know he was gorgeous and he got all the attention but please pay attention to me”

-Things continue like this until the next semester, when classes are shuffled and FINALLY Vincent is free of Albert.

-You know who walks in to find Albert just staring creepily at him from the front row of his first class? VICTOR.

-It’s Biology. Right away, the class gets a partner assignment, and the prof sticks Albert and Victor together.

-Might as well make the best of this.

-So they get to just awkwardly chatting. Victor tries to keep himself level-headed. Albert still doesn’t know it was Victor’s idea to destroy his painting. So they’re just playing it cool.

-And...it’s actually kind of fun to talk to one another?

-Albert lets slip that he likes bio a bit better than psych, but everyone’s expecting him to take up the position at Krueger Health Corp. Victor’s just like “So fuck ‘em. Switch majors.”

-Albert then blurts “Have you ever wanted to dismember someone who wronged you?”

-Victor: “Yes. All the time.”

-So for the first time, somebody is giving Albert attention that is NOT rivalry and is NOT just marveling at his talents and antics. This is new. He’s not sure how to handle it.

-For the rest of the semester, Victor is technically on Team Vincent, but he still waves at Albert when they pass on the grounds.

-Vincent and Victor go off campus to a house party with alcohol! Albert doesn’t actually show up to steal the spotlight this time. And...that kinda pisses Vincent off. Where IS he? He usually shows up to these things -

-Victor tells him to pleeeaaaase stop obsessing about Albert, please. (But Victor also kinda wishes he was there and isn’t sure why.)

-Later in the night, some beefy upperclassman starts a fight and threatens Vincent. Vincent and Victor are both buzzed and riled up. Victor jumps in and decks the guy to protect Vincent. The guy decks him right back and HARDER. So Vincent tackles the dude because now HE’S protecting Victor.

-They both end up in the hospital with broken bones. Roommates, again. And when they look at each other across their hospital room, they realize something has changed. That they now know they would defend each other to the death, and each has to repay the loyalty of the other. They’re in this for the long haul, and most certainly not going to request new roommates.

-They get their classwork shipped into the hospital and have some nice calm chats with each other, away from the buzz of student life.

-Albert, however, suddenly has his archnemesis and his lab partner both MISSING and it’s driving him insane. Where are they where are they where are they

-When they get released from the hospital and finally go back to campus, Albert has to refrain from RUNNING UP TO THEM AND HUGGING THEM BOTH. HIS LIFE HAD NO MEANING

-Instead he says “Pity. I’d’ve hoped that you’d die and be out of my hair.”

-Vincent and Victor can’t really admit how much he was the missing piece of their lives either.

-It’s gonna be a few interesting years at RMU.

#vincent edgeworth #victor blake #albert krueger #blakeworther #vincent the secret of myers #vtsom #therapy with dr. albert krueger #twdak

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sirowsky · 3 years

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The Flowers Always Know

Description: When a mad scientist uses you as an experiment while you’re on holiday, the Heroics only just manage to save you. And in your recovery you become very close to the leader of the group. (Slow burn)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language.

Link to Masterlist

Comment: Another day of side-effects where my head really hasn’t been in the game. But a little fun stuff to pass the time has managed to crop up.

So sorry for the tease ending... I blame the headaches.

Chapter 27

The Chef, Greg, had personally brought you extra leftovers during the five weeks you were living in the cell, training and learning about your abilities. He knew about your abnormal energy-consumption, and had become concerned when you never ordered more than a double portion of food, no matter how exhausted you were. So, he’d come to give you the leftovers one evening, and you’d explained that it felt like you’d be stealing from others that might need it, if you ordered six or even eight portions. After that, he’d begun saving all the leftovers every day, and bringing you that for the extra portions you otherwise wouldn’t have ordered.

“I may have to make Greg my Best Man.”

“He’d probably decline. He’s nice, but he does have standards.”

“Ouch…”

“He doesn’t know you, Cujo.”

“Okay, seriously, what is up with that?”

“It’s just an accurate description.”

“I am not a fucking dog.”

“Yes, you are. It’s just that, ordinarily, you’re a puppy. You just have that lovable puppy-face, with the eyes and the grin that can melt the coldest of hearts. And then, you bare your teeth and growl, and you look fucking terrifying.”

“I do?”

“Um – yes. Unequivocally – yes. It’s amazing.”

“Wait… you like my Cujo-quality?”

“I like that you have that side, when you need it. I like that it comes out almost exclusively to protect the things you love. And I have to admit that I like the fact that even the remotest possibility that William actually had tried something, elicited that kind of a response from you.”

“I was a little shocked at how strongly I reacted to that. Just the thought… I would’ve killed him, if he had. Not because you… belong to me. But because you were weak and unable to stop anyone that might have tried. Thank god William’s even more of a puppy than I am.”

“Will is more of a Greyhound.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you know – sleek, effective, streamlined.”

“Okay, let’s just drop the whole dog-topic already.”

“And, just for the record – of course I belong to you. Ass-hat.”

He practically beamed at you.

“Ditto. Mama bear.”

You’d been talking while walking back from lunch, and when you got back to your office, Anita was there. Just standing in the middle of the room, with her signature scowl in full effect.

“Hi, mom. Wow, you’re actually in the office, it must be serious.”

“Fifty noise-complaints in the last hour – is serious.”

You both stopped smiling, and threw a nervous glance at one another, but she just huffed and turned to you.

“Have you had yourself checked out by medical, yet?”

“No… why would I…?”

“Because human beings don’t possess the biological imperative to breed, to the point where their libidos take control of their bodies.”

You had actually checked both your offices for cameras and microphones a good while back, and found nothing. And there weren’t any fucking flowers in your office!

“How the hell do you know that? Seriously… How?”

She just rolled her eyes.

“Get your ass down to medical. Now.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“Whatever it is, I feel fine now, which means they probably wouldn’t be able to detect anything abnormal, so I’m gonna finish my work for the day, and then I’ll go to medical.”

You walked over to your desk as you spoke, and as you sat down, you remembered something.

“And by the way, where you in charge of selecting my substitute while I was gone?”

“Yes. Petra wasn’t ideal.”

“You don’t say. If I’m ever gone for an extended period of time again, no one sets foot in my fucking office. Got it?”

“Did you just try and give me an order, loco?”

“I’m not trying anything. I’m telling you. No one.”

She threw you a kinda skewed smile and then turned around to leave. But as she crossed the threshold she stopped and looked back at you with pure steel in her eyes.

“4pm. If you’re not at medical by then, I’ll drag you there by your ear.”

“Try it. Please.”

She left and you sighed and looked at Marcus, who had sat down on the couch again, one arm draped over the backrest while he’d watched you take on Máma.

“Are you absolutely sure you feel fine? Because I’m all kinds of hot and bothered right now.”

“50 noise-complaints, Marcus. That’s half the damned building.”

“And like I said: fuck ‘em.”

“Please go away so I can think.”

“Only if you promise to call me the moment you feel any amount of craving. I’m serious.”

“You think I want to feel like that again? Of course I’ll call, and you’d better pick up. I don’t care if HQ’s on fire.”

“You have my word, famb.”

“You know, your list of nicknames is getting a bit ridiculously long.”

“Oh, I haven’t even started on the real one’s yet.”

“Real ones?”

“Prometida, esposa, amada, mi corazón…”

“Okay, okay, have as many as you like, jeez.”

“Which one’s your favourite?”

“You already know.”

He got up from the sofa and came over to kiss you before he left. His lips lingered long after the kiss ended.

“Hermosa…”

He was intoxicating. You put a hand up on his chest and pushed him away gently.

“Get out of here, gorgeous. Mama’s got work to do.”

“Oh, that’s mean. You know how I love it when you talk all husky like that.”

“I’ll call you if I need you.”

He walked away looking disappointed, but also kind of expectant, like he was looking forward to getting you back later. You smiled and shook your head after the door closed behind him.

You did get a lot of work done after that, and even if you were still miles behind from catching up to where you’d been 7 weeks ago, it still felt good to have gotten back on track. Especially on what had been possibly the weirdest day of your life. Which was saying something. Your libido stayed calm and behaved for the rest of the workday, but you did see Anita’s point in getting yourself checked over, and so you were planning on going to the med-bay. But at 3:30 you were working on your computer, looking up rare metals for an upcoming build, and you sort of stumbled over a site for wedding-rings. You were just gonna take a quick peak, scrolling through the various options, and getting progressively more worked up as you saw the price-tags. You were just about to leave the page and go back to work, when an ad in the corner popped up.

Wedding-dresses.

Fuck.

You clicked.

“If you thought I was kidding about the ear, you were sorely mistaken.”

You startled at the sound of her voice, and a puff of energy escaped you, sending papers flying everywhere.

“Thanks a lot, Anita. Why don’t you give me a heart-attack while you’re at it?”

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not my fault you were so engrossed in that screen you didn’t notice me. What were you looking at, anyway?”

Had half an hour already passed? You just clicked on that ad a second ago… And why was she looking at you like that?

“Just research.”

“Mhm. Let’s go.”

“Alright, just let me get these papers off the floor.”

As expected, since the event seemed to have passed, the medical exam didn’t reveal anything, and Anita seemed unnecessarily peeved about that.

“What are you so upset about? What exactly did you think they’d find?”

“Nothing. Never mind.”

“Never mind, my ass. You all but dragged me to this exam, and now you’re disappointed. So, spill. What’s the deal?”

“I just hoped that maybe… you increased enthusiasm was…”

“Was…?”

“Alright, most women experience increased sensitivity when they’re pregnant. I just wanted to be sure.”

You sort of half froze midway through pulling your pants back on, and your hands involuntarily went to your abdomen.

“Oh… I never even considered…”

“I’m sorry, niña. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, I’m not upset. God, I don’t even know what I am.”

You finished dressing and sat down on a chair, letting your head fall into your hands.

“Eight months ago, I was just a designer, going on a fucking vacation. Now, I don’t even know what the hell I am anymore, much less what to do. Every time I think I’m starting to get a handle on things, something else happens and I’m lost again.”

She tapped your leg with her cane, ushering you to look at her.

“What you are, is my son’s fiancé. My granddaughter’s adoptive mother. You’re smart, highly capable and stubborn, kind and caring, but abrasive when the situation requires it. You’re everything you need to be. And that’s all you ever really need to know about yourself.”

You drew a deep breath.

“Do you think he made the right choice? With me?”

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

“Thank you.”

You called Marcus to let him know how the exam had gone, and he was just about to pick up Missy, so since you had your own car you told him you’d race him home. But you decided to stop by Amanda’s house on the way. You wanted to talk to both of them, but her place was closer.

When you walked in at home, Missy was in the living room playing a video-game with Noodles, A Capella and Wild Card. It had been a while since she’d had any friends over, and you smiled when you saw how much fun she was having.

“Hey, Alma! Wanna see me crush these guys for the second time?”

“Any day of the week, angel, but I gotta talk to your dad right now.”

“Okay, suit yourself!”

You laughed and walked into the kitchen to find him opening pizza-boxes and distributing slices onto plates.

“Hey, sweetheart, sorry, this wasn’t planned, they just spontaneously asked if they could come over as I was picking her up.”

“Honey, why are you explaining yourself?”

“I don’t know… it’s just, with the weird day you’ve had and how you seemed a little down after the exam, I thought that maybe you weren’t quite in the mood for a house full of teenagers.”

“No matter how I feel, Missy’s entitled to enjoy herself with her friends. I would never wanna deprive her of that.”

“No, I know. I just worry about you.”

“Yeah, I do too, sometimes. But that’s usually when I remember I have you, and it all feels better.”

He smiled and asked you to help him carry out the food to the living room, and once you’d done that, you sat down at the dinner table to eat yourselves.

“So… I may have googled wedding-dresses today.”

He beamed.

“Really? Did you manage to narrow down any preferences? Don’t give me any specifics, by the way.”

“I did, I think. Or, at least, I found a lot of stuff I didn’t like, so I guess that helps. I don’t know, I feel like I need to see them, touch them, to actually get a sense of what I like.”

He beamed even more.

“I really like the sound of this. I’m sure Amaire would come with you if you asked.”

“Yeah, I kind of already asked them to, this weekend.”

He was fucking radiating joy at that point. He got up and took your hand, leading you to the bedroom and closing the door behind you. Then he reached into his pocket and fished something out. His smile turned just a hint of insecure, as he held up the ring he’d chosen for you. It was gold-plated steel, with a single row of small diamonds sunk into the centre of the band all the way around. A sturdy and solid piece that wouldn’t break or lose its shape. While you admired it, he started trying to explain his choice.

“I know you’re not much of a jewellery-girl, so I figured we’d skip the whole engagement ring plus wedding-band. You can wear it right away if you want and then just take it off before the ceremony, or you can wait and put it on then, either way is fine with me. That is, if you like it? If you don’t, we’ll take it back and you can pick something else. It just felt right as soon as I saw it. You’re not the frail silver band type of person, and I know you’d only get annoyed with a big rock getting in the way and getting caught in stuff. You work with your hands and so I figured something sturdy but elegant. I have a matching one just without the diamonds. Please say something before I pass out from oxygen-depravation…”

“I love it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

You both beamed.

“Can I put it on you?”

“You better.”

He slipped it on your finger and it fit perfectly. And for the first time it really sunk in that you were gonna marry this man. The love of your life. It felt like a really long time until the kids went home and Missy went to bed, with her headphones on.

“I totally forgot, we need to go bed-shopping, honey.”

“I don’t know, a mattress on the floor might be preferable until we know the extent of your ‘heat-situation’.”

“Mm. Good point. Although, breaking in a new bed is always fun.”

“Hermosa.”

“What?”

“Stop talking and get undressed. I’ve been waiting for this all night.”

Authors’ Note: I love criticism, don’t be shy to let me know if there’s anything you like/don’t like/have questions about.

@blueeyesatnight @farfromjustordinary @allmyspideys @hrk-fic-recs @strawberryperegrine @lucrezia-thoughts @computeringturtle @sarahjkl82-blog

#marcus moreno #marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno fic #we can be heroes #we can be heroes fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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mochascafe · 3 years

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advice for incoming high school freshmen

1. this is when your grades start to really matter. every homework assignment, quiz, and exam counts toward your final GPA as a high school student. your GPA is extremely important for college applications and class rank, so do NOT slack off — do all your homework, study for all tests, and pay attention during class.

2. try not to skip class! skipping one day or even one class can set you far behind. you could have lots of classwork to make up, so if you ever have to miss class, make sure you tell your teacher(s) ahead of time. this shows that you care about their class, and they might even excuse you from the classwork or give you extra time to complete it.

3. it’s okay to get a bad grade once in a while. even if it’s on a big test or project. some teachers may allow you to retake a test or assign extra credit. most teachers want you to succeed in their class, so just ask them for ways to make up your unsatisfactory grade during office hours. however, it’s best to avoid doing this for old assignments/tests the week before grades get finalized as it will give your teachers the impression that all you care about is your GPA. dm me (@threadlemons) for an email template you can use if you’re looking to improve your grade near the end of the semester though :)

4. join clubs you're interested in. during the school year, stay in the ones you enjoy and leave ones you dislike. at the end of the year, you should be actively involved in 1-3 clubs. participating in clubs can help you make new friends with similar interests, improve communication skills, and teach you how to work effectively with others!

5. do not procrastinate too much on assignments, especially the ones that are a big part of your grade. you’ll feel more and more stressed as the due date approaches and could end up submitting low quality work

6. be prepared. high school is so much harder than middle school. you'll have more work to do and classes will become more difficult. it'll take some time to adjust, and that’s okay. something important i’ve learned during my freshman year is to never slack off on any assignments. (i once turned in an assignment worth only 15 points, but it brought my grade down from a 93% to a 89%. i ended the school year with a B in that class because of that one assignment)

7. know your schedule and find out where each of your classes are located. this way you won’t get lost as easily on the first day.

8. get involved in the sport you like. it's easier to make the team freshman year and improve than waiting until sophomore year when tryouts are harder. if you're not interested in a sport, that's alright too! not everyone is athletic, we’re all good at different things.

9. that being said, do not prioritize sports or other extracurriculars over your grades.

10. be nice to your teachers. keep in mind respect should go both ways!

11. do not stand in the middle of the hallway to talk to your friends or walk slowly. it's annoying and people might even push you.

12. always have headphones, extra pencils, and a charger on you

13. be kind to everyone. don’t start drama. hating on others is unnecessary. they probably won’t be in your life for a long time anyway.

14. popularity is not important. it means nothing after you graduate, so just know who your true friends are. quality over quantity.

15. do your homework asap. don’t wait until 8 pm to start. also, doing homework from time to time over the weekend will make sunday evening a lot less stressful

16. there will be bad days. days when you feel like you can’t get out of bed. days when it seems like stress is the only thing you’re feeling. days when you just want to give up. but you have to fight through it. have a cup of tea. reread that old book you love. rewatch one of your favorite movies/shows. take a break and try to relax. time heals almost everything, it’ll all turn out fine.

#high school advice #high school

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longinglook · 4 years

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I may or may not have spent my entire Sunday binge watching all of I told sunset about you and Gaya sa pelikula and now I have so many thoughts and feelings that I need to write about them so here we go! Under a read more (if tumblr allows me to) because it’s 2k words hehe

First of all, I knew next to nothing about both shows before starting them. I had seen a couple of gifs here and there, but really had no idea what I was in for.

I started with I told sunset about you, which has 3 episodes out of 5 out. All I knew is that it was going to be beautiful and possibly sad, and it was. Everything about this show is so high quality, from the audio to the dialogue to the locations to the acting, just wow. The production is better than a lot of movies I’ve seen, and every technical aspect is perfect. I am really loving the plot so far as well, I find the childhood friendship to stubborn rivalry to grown up friendship again very relatable. I think it’s a very common experience for a lot of non straight folks to develop an extremely close bond with a same sex friend when you’re too young to realize what you’re actually feeling for them until you’re a lot older and suddely the jealousy and possessivenes all make sense.

I love the recurring themes sprinkled throughout the episodes, starting from the chinese vocabulary that expresses the core thoughts of the two main characters: rival, intimacy, secret, male protagonist, as promised. They could easily be the episode titles, or the names of imaginary sections the show could be divided into. It’s a great way to integrate metaphors and deeper meaning into the plot.

That’s how most of the communication goes in this show, deep emotions are never conveyed through words because words are scary and loud and they can’t be taken back once they’re out there. The plot advances though stares and gestures and touch and gorgeous shots of the landscape. The pace is slow with hour-long episodes that could each be a movie of their own. This worried me a bit before starting, and I have to admit that at times I struggled to stay focused, especially during scenes that set the mood but don’t do much plot-wise. This is just a personal preference, though, and in no way I see it as a flaw.

The dancing around each other the main characters do, sometimes literal, is frustrating but it determines an emotional build up that’s just starting to reach its peak. This is one of those shows that has me screaming if only they talked to each other, but the silences and unspoken words are so well directed and acted that it works. I struggle a lot with keeping in mind that they’re still in high school, they’re very young and I can’t expect them to act rationally just yet.

I was really worried about Teh possibly going the insufferable Theory-of-love-khai way, and I am still not 100% sold on him. When he started helping Oh-aew again it felt like he was just doing it to make himself feel better about the whole thing. It was frustrating to see him so possessive and jealous while also so deeply in denial about his own feelings, to the point where he had me rooting for Bas instead. He was getting better, but then he fled at the end of episode 3 and now I have no clue what’s going to happen next. About this, I really have no idea if they’re going for a happy ending or a sad one. I’m really hoping it will be good, because so far there has been barely any emotional payoff for all the repressed longing and misunderstanding the show has put us through.

I do like their dynamic a lot though, I have a weak spot for childhood friends reconnecting and an ever weaker spot for informal mentor/mentee relationships. Oh-aew asking Teh to tutor him until he passes the admission exam was an almost exact mirror of Yuri on ice Yuri begging Victor to be his coach until he retires and I loved that a lot.

Now on to the one issue I have with this show: it feels too much like an art film. It reminds me of Moonlight and Call me by your name, in the way that I wasn’t able to connect with those movies because they are too perfect. They are so beautiful and carefully crafted that I can’t fully immerse myself in them. There’s a filter that stops me from relating to the characters and constantly reminds me that this is not reality. It’s pretty, it’s extremely well done, but it feels like art. It has some quirks, some scenes that feel too artificial. One scene in particular, the one where Teh buries his head in the paper Oh-aew wrote with his coconut scented pen to sniff it, which is a direct parallel to Call me by your name, bothered me in particular. Just as it felt over-the-top and purposefully weird in the movie, so it feels in the show. It’s a way of showcasing how a confused teen deals with attraction he barely understands, it’s raw and animalistic in a way, but it’s so quirky that all it accomplishes is to remind me that I’m watching an lgbt show. It makes me wonder if a scene like this would make sense in a straight relationship because here it seems to highlight how different and primal his attraction is. If I had to pinpoint it, I’d say that I have a problem with media showcasing queerness though peculiar, purposefully awkward scenes like these instead of normal kissing and cuddling.

Overall, I can’t wait to see how this show ends and I still think it’s one of the best bls to air in 2020, if not ever. It’s refreshing to see something with a big budget used well! So far my rating is 8/10, which I know is a lot lower than what everyone else seems to think but it’s still very much subject to change! Just hoping they won’t pull a Make our days count, but I doubt they’ll go there.

And now Gaya sa pelikula. Wow. Again, I knew next to nothing about this show before watching, and I was coming from a 3 hour I told sunset about you binge watch, so the bar was pretty high.

And boy, did this show deliver. I was blown away by the depth and the humor of it. It feels like the writers had fun taking all sorts of common tropes and stereotypes just to show everyone how well they can be evolved and made complex. Two strangers who somehow find themselves sharing an apartment sounds like the start of so many fanfictions out there, but it’s so well executed and interesting that you don’t even stop to think about how weak the premises for their meeting are. It doesn’t matter and it’s not even that far-fetched, either. The sister and the neighbor are also two characters that start off as extra stereotyped, but in just a few scenes they unveil an incredible depth and backstory. It blew me away.

Each character is so realistic. Everything they do and say makes sense, they all have their reasons and their past and they react accordingly, it’s so coherent. It’s impressive how everything takes place inside the house and you barely realize it because things happen and the plot moves anyways, and the way information about external events and people is conveyed is so seamless that you don’t even notice it. In only 7 episodes (so far) they have managed to give everyone a complex background and personality through the use of objects and small details and wow don’t get me started on the music.

The soundtrack is SO GOOD. I never really pay attention to music in shows but it plays a very important role here in my opinion and, well, it’s exactly the kind of music I like listening to and ahhh I just spent 4 hours playing the first kiss song on loop so I might be biased. Right from the start in episode 1, when Karl gives in to Vlad’s music and starts dancing to it, it’s established that it’s an important element to the mood of each scene. I love how the dancing I talked about for I told sunset about you comes back here, but while I saw it as a hesitant dancing around each other there, here it’s the opposite, it’s freeing and it’s about accepting yourself. And the end of episode 6 highlights this, with the beautiful quote “You are entitled to a love that lets you dance without fear and shame.” It made me cry a looooot.

I think the development of their relationship is masterfully done. It doesn’t happen too quickly nor too slowly. Karl goes through some needed shocks that act as his wake up call. When I’m watching bl shows I care the most about them feeling real and relatable. I don’t want to feel like they were written by a straight person trying to guess what it’s like to be gay. Now I didn’t look anything up about the Gaya sa pelikula writers, but I’d be very surprised if they were straight. I can relate to both Karl and Vlad for different aspects of their stories and their worries and thoughts. There was one part in particular that hit so close that I had to take a few breaks because it hurt too much. I am a lesbian, I’ve had relationship with a girl that lasted over a year, I am out to some friends but not all. I never came out to my parents, who are both very open minded and friends with a lot of gay people and would love me just as much if I told them, and yet I can’t. It’s not just that, I am terrified by the idea of them already knowing or being able to guess. When Karl freaked out over his uncle guessing, it hit me so hard because I’ve felt the same way so many times.

Episode 7 was amazing. I hate badly written drama the most, and 99% of shows can’t come up with any good reason for drama but they have to put it in there anyways and it sucks. This was the complete opposite, I adored it and I say this as a lover of fluff. It feels right, I think it’s an issue that would come up between two people like them. They are both right and the only thing that could happen there is what actually went down. I definitely think things will be fixed by the end and I am looking forward to it, but I am very glad this issue was included because it’s so important and so true to many lgbt people’s lives.

Another aspect I absolutely adored are the multiple references to lgbt theory and language, and Vlad has some of the best lines I’ve ever heard coming from a bl. When he tells Karl not to be afraid of the word, when he explains that “you don’t look gay” isn’t a compliment, when he scolds his sister for not acknowledging the things she used to say to him by covering them up with her ally act, those are all such important and educative moments that I hope everyone listens to. I love that Vlad is not correcting some ignorant bad guy, but it’s his accepting and loving friends and family that make the mistakes, because sometimes being supportive your own way isn’t enough if you’re not actively learning from the ones you want to support.

This is a 10/10 for me right now. I can’t find anything I don’t like about it. It never feels boring, it never feels overdone, it never feels cheap or unoriginal. It went straight to the top of my favorite bls.

And now I can’t help but compare the two a bit, because yes they are two different shows but right now the relationships they portray have reached the same point: there has been a climax and now the one who is more confused about his sexuality is panicking and taking a step back. It’s a coincidence that I watched both shows on the same day when their last aired episodes end in such a similar way, but it really leads me to compare the two. I don’t want to put them one against each other or say which one did it better because that’s not the point of this, they are both two amazing and important shows who are excelling in what they’re doing.

Gaya sa pelikula is down to earth, it’s explicit and it’s straight to the point in explaining what’s going on inside each character’s head. It feels like watching real people deal with real struggles. I told sunset about you is a lot more subtle and quiet, and since we don’t really have a clear insight in the characters’ heads sometimes it’s hard to completely understand what’s going on with them. It’s a completely different way of narrating, and while Gaya sa pelikula makes me feel like I’m a part of the events, I told sunset about you feels like I’m just spectating from an outside perspective. They are different choices, but one of them ends up feeling a lot more emotional to me than the other.

To wrap it up, I highly recommend both shows and I can’t wait to see how they’ll end! They are both among the best shows of the year, both free of all those annoyingly stereotyped characters and plot points that most bls tend to overuse.

#meta #gaya sa pelikula #like in the movies #i told sunset about you #text

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goblinmanifesto · 3 years

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Ive already accidentally deleted this once so fucking kill me (I forgot to save it).

⚠️TW FOR ANXIETY, TOURETTES, SLIGHT SELF HARM⚠️

But this is my post for @doinmybesthere Mental Health Awareness May collab! I will be doing Bokuto Koutarou. To explain a bit, to cope with bullshit that is life, I accidentally made myself a coping mechanism that I loving refer to as the ‘Klaus Hargreeves‘ (if you know anything about that character, you already know where my mental state is) because I can’t remember what my therapist said the actual name for it was. To put it simply, it’s like overactive day dreaming. I act out and create scenarios in my head to comfort myself, most of the time using characters or real people as an enabler for the comfort I wish to gain. Side effects being; if caught, considered crazy, sometimes don’t realize I’m doing it which can lead to awkward situations, sometimes I fuck up what’s real and what’s not. So, in these little stories, I will be retelling scenarios I have created through this coping mechanism that relate to both Bokuto and my mental problems! Each will be labeled with what they deal with so you can skip the one that might trigger you. Enjoy and happy reading! (I WILL ALSO BE MENTIONING AND USING STIMMING) ((I will probably use this to make other fics like this in the future mentioning my other ~stuff~ but in the meantime this is all I want to do so enjoy!))

⚠️LAST TW⚠️

1. ~Anxiety, Self harm, Mentions of Stimming~ He should’ve been home an hour ago! I was pacing in the living room, shaking hands holding my phone. It was 7:13 and Koutarou was supposed to be home at 6:00. I was spiraling and I could feel it, but I didn't know what to do about it. Id sent him text after text, but he was yet to respond. I glanced at my cell, only stopping my frantic shuffling to focus my attention on reading the screen;

Hey, is practice running late? [6:11] When do you think you’ll be home? [6:15] Are you there? [6:19] Koutarou??????? [6:23] Kou pick up your damn phone! [6:27] Did something happen???!! [6:34] Is everything okay?! [6:39] Are you mad or something??? [6:47] Bokuto Koutarou I’m dead serious where are you?!?!?! [6:53] Bo-ku-to!!!! [6:59] Koutarou it’s been hour please text me [7:07] Koutarou!!! [7:12] -Unread-

My eyes scanned the messages again, not leaving the blue screen until until my shin collided with the side of the coffee table. I hadn’t even realized I had started pacing again. I checked the texts I had sent to Akaashi as well, since I knew he was at that practice too, but I hadn’t gotten any responses from him either. Slipping my phone screen up onto the table I continued my pacing, not even processing when my finger nails found their way under my teeth, and how when they left my mouth to scratch at my neck or claw at my shirt, my teeth resorted to gnawing at my lip instead, tearing up the thin skin. All habits I was trying to kill but didn’t have enough brain power to focus on not doing them. My eyes constantly searched the driveway for the headlights of any car, any car at all, but they always came up with nothing. It was 7:24 when my phone struck with the sound of text, the bing of anticipation sent me diving for, and consequently almost dropping, my phone in an attempt to find out if it was Koutarou. It was!

-Read-

Im so sorry!! Yes practice did end up running late! But something else happened and I

wasn’t able to text you! I’m not mad about

anything I promise!! What happened is also

minor and nothing to worry about and I’ll explain when I get home in about ten

[7:21] minutes!! I’m so sorry!! -Read-

I sighed, relieved, the weight on my chest and in my head dissolved and I felt like I could finally breathe again. Though, as I came down from my anxiety rush, I became aware of a lot of things all at once. The first was a good deal of pain. From knocking my leg into a table and pacing for over an hour, to bitten lips and nails, and my scraped neck. I groaned, I need to get a better handle on this.

But that wasnt important. Koutarou was okay and on his way home! I waited at the window, feeling a bit like a dog waiting on its owner (that was a kink joke yes), and leaped to the front door when I saw his car in the driveway. Throwing open the door, I pulled him inside the second I could get my hands on him and pulled him through the doorway. The moment he was inside, I shoved myself into his arms in a tight hug, so glad he was okay. He returned the hug and held me tightly, I let out a shuddering breathe and he let out comforting sounds I sometimes use to stim. “Hey, hey, hey, I’m so sorry to have you worry, it was about Akaashi! We were running extra practice with a handful of the other guys and I literally had half a text to you written out when he a spike to the face! I was the only one left with a car so I drove him to hospital! I’m so sorry you are so worried you sent like 15 texts! I’m so-“ I cut him short with a hand over his mouth since that was one of the only ways to get him to stop talking. “Kou, it’s okay, I understand, it just really scared me ‘is all-“ he pried my hand off his face but held it in his own.

”I know, but that doesn’t mean I can’t apologize for it, whether I was in complete control of the situation or not! Which I was not, by the way, no control what-so-fucking-ever, I had four other guys in the car and one of them was bleeding and concussed, it was chaos!!” His eyes were wide and he went off on the stress of the situation and, for a moment, I forgot that it was 7:26 at night on a Thursday and I had a biology test in the morning, and that Koutarou just got home and I hadn’t even eaten yet and all the other things that werent right in the world. Everything was fine in that moment. But that ended when Koutarou took a good hard look at me. The redness and scratch marks on my neck, the bitten to bleeding finger nails, the small bruise forming on my shin, my blotchy face and my probably-way-too-red lips. He stopped dead in his words and I felt my eyebrows scrunch up.

“Whats wrong?-“

“You did the things again didn’t you?!” He sounded distressed and his broad shoulders sunk. Koutarous hands rubbed my shoulders as he stared into my eyes with the most concerned look I’d ever seen. He pulled me back to his chest again and promised it wouldn’t happen again.

7:46, Koutarou insisted on taking care of my ‘injuries’ since he was who I was having anxiety over anyway. I protested a little, but gave up when he gave me the baby-owl eyes.

First, he had wrapped bandaids on my fingers. Thankfully, they were black, and I made a comment on it was like a 2-second manicure just to hear him chuckle.

Then, Kou applied a moisturizer to my neck. “Kou, I can do this myself-“

”Nope! I insist!”

”I’m not a child-“

”Don’t care, I’m doing it so just shush up and let me do what I need to do!”

Next, he made me apply ice to my bruise even though it was tiny and caused by a damn two-foot-tall coffee table.

Lastly, he gave me chapstick. Again, wouldn’t let me do it myself, so I made several sarcastic remarks to make him blush, all working quite well. Koutarou had to tell me to stop giggling multiple times so I could stay still.

”Alright, are you done playing nurse?”

”Forgive me for wanting to take care of you!!” He stuck his tongue out at me with an audible “bleh!” and I cackled.

”You are forgiven, Nurse Bokuto.”

2. ~Tourette’s, Stimming~ My neck painfully popped when it jerked to the left, my tics had been bad all day and I no clue why. Could be exams, or the fucking toaster for all I knew. I hissed, rubbing at my neck and adjusting the water can I almost dropped, trying to continue about my Saturday.

It was obnoxious, really, having to me-proof everything around in case I end up kicking it, dropping it, or hitting it. My joints constantly cracking and snapping and jolting in the strangest ways at any given moment. Sometimes repeating what people say back at them in perfect mirror-like fashion. Though that last one can be kind of funny.

Clicking my toungue to make nice noises to try and stim the tic away, I returned back to my plants. I could feel them chuckling at me and, in that moment, I understood everything about Crowley from ‘Good Omens’.

I heard the door unlock in the other room and I put my can down as a precaution and peeked out of the doorway.

A moment later, Koutarou popped through the door after his morning jog. He called out; “Hey, hey, hey!” as a greeting.

I felt my hands go up behind my head and I thought Oh gods dammit, and then my jaw jutted forward in a very unattractive way and I repeated his phrase in the same manner as him, then immediately dropped, as my body decreed.

I groaned, looking up at him, who looked slightly bewildered at my little madness ritual. His hair laid flat on his head, he had chosen not to mess with it this morning, much to my delight, his amber eyes a little wide and his eyebrows raised. He was barely even in the house yet.

We just kind of stared at each other for a hot second before I awkwardly waved ‘hello’ and cracked a weird grin. He grinned back, his more pleasant than mine. Walking over, he opened his arms for a hug, and I accepted, since he wasn’t all that sweaty this time around, and it was the least I could do since he had to witness that.

Koutarou planted a kiss on the top of my head, cheering “Good morning!”

I muttered a response into his shirt.

“One of those days, huh?” I nodded.

“Coffee? I think we have muffins in the cabinet?” I nodded again and he lead me into the kitchen to set up some breakfast. It was 9:00 am on a Saturday after all. A weird Saturday, but watching Koutarou finagle through the cabinets, it couldn’t be that bad.

That is all for now! Have a wonderful day and I am going to sleep for three years see y’all (edited: June 18 2021, because I can’t spell)

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becca-e-barnes · 3 years

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hi Becca!! so i'm studying to get into law school (we have am entrance exam system in my country) and i feel so unprepared? i have to take the test in like 7 months and i am honestly so terrified? i mean i know that this fear is a good thing, right, and that it means this getting into law school actually means something to me but if i don't get in i just know that everything I have dreamed of in the last five years would be SHATTERED. I mean absolutely broken because there is nothing else I want to do with my life and it's so terrifying to the point where I had the last two years to prepare but I was so scared of messing up that I put off starting to study until literally today. and now I can't get the hang of the shit I'm doing and it's making me panic because I don't know how I'm supposed to study for so much with so little time and now my school introduced a new examination system as well and if I don't do well there then I won't be able to take these entrance exams at all but I have school for like 6 hours a day and genuinely no time to study as much as I should be and my teachers keep burying me in school work and it's just so stressful i have no idea what to do because no matter how much i try there's always something I'm not getting done and I never feel like I'm doing enough

im so sorry for the rant djsjdjjdd i just really needed to get that off my chest haha thank you for listening(:

Baby!! Super exciting to see you want to go into law and that we have more amazing, passionate people heading into the profession!! 🥺

Honestly, 7 months is super manageable! When you take into account the fact that some people will start studying the week before the entrance exam, you’re already well ahead of those people! Babe, I wrote my dissertation on the relevance of equitable maxims to a contemporary legal society in a week, you can absolutely still ace this exam!!

It’s easy for me to say it but you need some of that panic that you feel now to help you do well! It’d be worse if you didn’t feel that fear!! It’s obvious how badly you want this and yes, it’s going to be hard and you’re going to be drained by the end but you can still nail it!

I remember how difficult it was coming back from school and having to start homework and then start revision (I had no specific entrance exam though) 😩 I really don’t envy your position! Uni is so much easier than school so if you get through this, you’ll get through anything!

And angel, I know you don’t want to hear it but if things don’t go as well as you hoped the first time around, you have options!! You can always take a year out and repeat the entrance exams or you could go down a different route entirely!! I always always always wanted to go into forensics! I had a whole plan, I picked STEM subjects, almost all the courses I applied to at uni were to lead me into forensics and then I started struggling in chemistry and I couldn’t pull my grade up high enough ☹️ In the end, I dropped chemistry and did English literature instead and I had to give up the dream but that absolutely happened for a reason! I was 100% meant to be in Law, I graduated uni with first class honours and I couldn’t even imagine working in forensics now! That door closed for a reason and I’m so unbelievably glad it did!

So babe, everything happens for a reason! And I fully believe that you got this but just so that you keep in mind that the world won’t end if you need a lil extra time or you go a different route! If there’s ever a single thing you want a hand with, I’ll see what I can do for you honey! Our legislation probably won’t be the same but I’ll do what I can to help you out!! 💗

#asks answered <3 #anon #all the best sweetie!!#we’re all routing for you!#it’s so exciting seeing someone so passionate #it’s that passion that will carry you through!’#you’ll nail it babe #but don’t beat yourself up for not starting earlier #just keep going!!#I believe in you boo!! 💗#big sister becca

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akahana · 3 years

Text

CHAPTER 2

That was a damn workout. The club was divided into half for the second meeting. You girls had decided to learn a choreography by the Korean girl group; Twice, namely the choreo of I Can’t Stop Me. The boys decided to dance Stray Kids’ God’s Menu. They were pretty good. Except for Aoyama who pretty much made up his own steps. He said he wanted to stand out no matter what. And he had just joined recently.

“Everybody, on the next Friday, I’ll be teaching the choreo that will be done by partner. Club session over!”

“Wait- Mina what?”

She faced you. “Oh, girlie I remember I paired you with Katsuki right?”

“Yeah, but can’t we be partners?” You asked.

“No can do,” She waved her head. “I’m sorry, but the two of us are already close. And we do this partner thing to get the members of the club together. This is how I made our circle of friends.” She added with a grin.

Lastly she said; “Plus I need you and Bakugo to hang-out so you could fix your constant bickering. You always fight with each other. May it be in the classroom, the hallway...You can can bicker about anything; anywhere! You never run out of topics to bicker about! Anyway, I have to meet Momo now- she’d been calling me for the past hour, BYE!!!” And she fled to who knows where.

You sighed. You’d have to deal with the freak with the anger issues more.

The weekend came over fast, the weekdays passed by faster, ‘til it was Friday again. It’s the Friday wherein Mina teaches the partner dance.

Aizawa had to consume 20 mins of your time before you could finally get to club meeting. You texted Mina in advance. After the talk with Aizawa regarding your quirk, you arrive at the meeting 20 mins late as expected. When you opened the door, everybody was with their partner, except for Bakugo who stood up from his seat when he saw you. He kept his frown on while he dragged you to an open space to start as Mina repeated Corazon Sin Cara for another round of practice.

You were clueless about why he had dragged you there, since you didn’t know the steps yet.

“Just follow my lead.” He stated, positioning you into how Mina was positioned with her partner Kirishima, then you hear the Bachata music play.

He did not touch your torso with his hands, but he showed you how you were supposed to move your hips. He placed his thigh between your legs as your hips moved. You felt heat rush up to your face. No one had ever been close to you like that. Not a male, to say the least. You felt awkward and stepped back a little, earning yourself a questioning look on his face. But he respected the space you have created between you.

Although he was a good dancer, he definitely was NOT a good teacher. You evidently pissed him off which in return annoyed annoyed the hell out of you because of how ill-tempered he was with teaching.

“I told you to go this way!!!” he yelled.

“Then this way I shall go!” You mocked.

He got fed of how sarcastic you were and you got completely pissed off by how he always raised his voice at you.

You decided you were ready to leave. But he decided he wanted to leave as well. You clashed at the door, fighting over who should be the first one to go through the door. No one won eventually. You both fit through the door at the same time. You went to the direction of where the dorms were headed, and he followed.

“Stop following me you prick!” You shouted at him as your pace went quicker.

“I’m not following you stupid!” He growled as he ran to the dorm.

And since you also were as childish and competitive as him, you raced with him to the dorms.

The next 6 days passed by, and it was Friday once again. You tried to dance. You forced yourself, you weren’t like this during practice. You usually were enthusiastic during club meetings. You didn’t know the reason behind your fatigue. Maybe because of the lack of sleep caused by the overnight studying for the exams? Extra training hours with you class adviser? Playing sports with your new friends Tokoyami, Todoroki, and Ojiro?

They were all factors, but you didn’t exactly know which of them caused you to be like this. Bakugo noticed your state.

Practice finally ended. You sat down the floor drinking water and leaned against the cold wall behind you. You closed your eyes for a short while, but hadn’t you known you were slowly drifting off to sleep.

The clock showed the digits “7:00”.

You had finally woken up. That was when you noticed a familiar song playing on the speakers. It was Pony by Ginuwine. You scratched your eyes and tried to unblurry your vision. Then you looked up to the familiar figure in front of you doing isolation moves. You realized he was dancing the pony dance from Magic Mike. You were surprised to see him dance like this. This dance style was pg-18. When danced by normies or non-dancers, this dance would look funny. But he made it look good. He got every step right, each move landing on each beat precisely. You were blown away. For the first time, you noticed how hot he was. Most especially since he was wearing his infamous black tank top.

Bakugo was passionate when it came to dancing. You saw that as you watched him move. You tried to keep as quiet as you can, for him not to notice you. You saw him do a few body rolls, hip thrusts, before the song had finally ended. Then he met your eyes through the mirror in front of him. You thought you saw him blush for a while, but when you blinked for a sec, it was gone.

“Sleeping stupid has finally awoken. Get your ass up here. You wasted three hours of my time. We have to polish our dance. I don’t want to lose to Kirishima.” He called you that every time you awoken from a nap. It was supposed to be sleeping beauty, but he changed the latter word thinking he’s funny. And lose to Kirishima? Everything really is a competition for this chonky-haired asshole.

Ashamed, you stood up. And finally, you were feeling okay. No more dizziness.

Then you noticed that it was the only two of you that remained in the club room.

“Where are the others?” you asked.

“At the dorms already.” He snarled. “If you hadn’t slept and wasted our time then we would’ve been at the dorms right now.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, taking him aback. It was the first time you’ve said that to him. You always bickered, but you’ve never said sorry to him afterwards. You were quite vulnerable today.

You walked to his spot, positioned yourself, maintaining the distance you’ve created like you always did every single time you practiced this partner dance routine. But this time, he didn’t tolerate it. He groaned while he pulled you closer to him. You were a little shocked, as this was the first time he touched your hips. Held, as a matter of fact. He trained how your hips were supposed to move to the beat. He literally said: ‘Fuck consent’. Mad man. His teaching skills had improved. And he didn’t shout at you anymore. Maybe because he finally got tired of messing with you.

You two stopped when you were both tired and worn out. (ooh~) You finally were able to dance to the rhythm accordingly. He was about to exit the door when you called out his nickname.

“Kacchan!” He stopped. It was the first time you called him that.

You too, were taken aback. You expected him to throw a tantrum and go on a rampage and shout to you about how you should stay in your lane. But he didn’t. He only answered calmly with a;

“What.”

Little did you know, the ash blonde liked it very much when that nickname of his came out of your mouth. He didn’t know why. He just fancied it.

“I-I, can’t walk alone in the dark...” You muttered softly, almost inaudible.

“And why the fuck? What do you want me to do then, carry you?”

You thought at this time of the day- or night, perhaps, he would already be tamed and be too tired to snarl back comments.

But no, ‘This blonde’s pride and ego will never wear out.’ You thought to yourself. You mustered your courage, told yourself to be brave, and hissed at him before facing towards the direction of the dorm and walking that path.

“Fine then! I hope you get taken away by some villain or whatever and just disappear! Why do you have to be so mean at all times?” The throbbing head pain came back to you, and along came the mild dizziness.

“Ugh, as if.” He retorted back even though he felt guilt wash over him.

The guy just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Bakugo waited for you to get a little farther, before he walked behind you, lighting up a few sparks from his hand to keep your little friends sane. You had a quirk similar to Tokoyami. Differences were; what you had were wolves, and they have the ability to detach from you. If you didn’t have enough power, they would refuse to listen to you, and they could go haywire, damaging your environment including you also. They actively bugged you during the night, whenever moonlight shone on your skin they would sense it and you’d hear them howling in your head pleading for freedom. But because of Bakugo behind you, which you were oblivious of, their howling aren’t as bad as usual. How was Bakugo aware of all this? He had been observing you since you’ve beat him at the UA sports festival.

Then you tripped. Face first on the ground. Suddenly you heard a burst of laughter.

“HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WTF HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN HOW TO WALK?!! HAHAHAHAHHAHA”

“SHUT IT YOU DUMB FUCK YOU LOOK LIKE A MONKEY LAUGHING LIKE THAT” you went loose. Maybe you went a little too far. Uh-oh. He stopped. You knew you were in trouble. You got up and tried to run for your dear life but you suddenly fell down again. And another burst of laughter was heard. This time you had no more power to lash out on him and you cried. You were so tired of that day, and your head throbbed endlessly, plus the fact that your knees are now bleeding because of scraping them on the pavement twice.

The blonde freak’s laughter went to a halt and ran to you. He saw your knees and he quickly wrapped his handkerchief on the left. He wrapped the tank top he got from his bag around the right one. Then he put his bag in front of him and pulled you up on his back. Tears had stopped flowing from your eyes, and suddenly, your stomach was contaminated with butterflies. You did not complain, you remained silent as his feet continued to walk toward the dorms.

*after an almost not-so-awkward-walk in silence

He let you get down from his back. You already were at the building. You wouldn’t admit it to yourself but you wished the walk had been longer.

“Clean yourself up.” He said before he left you outside. The girls from your class approached you with worried expressions on their faces. They talked to you and interrogated you, then led you inside to help you get ready for bed.

https://llcantra-blog.tumblr.com/post/637767778054602753/chapter-3

#bakugou katsuki #bakugo fluff #katsuki bakugo fluff #katsuki bakugo imagine #bakugou x reader #bakugo x you #.

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official-weasley · 3 years

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The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley: Pt. 4, Ch. 9

PART 4: THE YEAR WHEN EVERYONE HAS A CRUSH Chapter 9 - Tonks' Escape

Penny

I was giving the group some space this year when it comes to studying. Especially Nova, that poor thing. It was so hard to watch her be in so much pain and I am so happy that she is her normal self again and smiling and laughing.

We do have moments when we are in the Library together and she starts talking to me about her dad. I could listen for her for hours if need be, she is such a sweet angel!

She needed quite some time to catch up with all her homework and studying and I have been working extra hard in classes to make things easier on her.

However, exams are approaching and it's time to start nagging people! I waited until the very last possible minute, I mean it is the last week of May!

This year has been particularly hard as teachers started to up the pace when it came to the material as we have O.W.L.s next year and they want us to be ready! I can't believe we are going to be in Fifth Year already and I can't help but be nervous about how hard next year is going to be if we were barely keeping up this year.

Speaking of keeping up I have to say that not the most perfectly brewed potion makes me as proud as the fact that I have managed, for the second year in a row, not to fall asleep in History of Magic and take notes! Not that it does anybody any good as none of my friends want to read them. They say it's just too much boring information and as much as I like to act mad when they say it, I silently agree with them.

Potions, however, are by far my favorite subject, even if our dear Professor Snape is not so keen of me or of any other student for that matter. I wonder what is his story.

My mum being a Potioneer and the fact that I simply enjoy the art of potion-making are not the only two reasons why I love Potions so much. This Summer a Ravenclaw boy by the name of Andre wrote to me that despite all our efforts in June he didn't pass the exam. I was mortified and I offered him help at once. I have been sending him material and notes and extra explanations all Summer and I was glad to help and it gave me an excuse to reread all my Potions books and talk about them!

What I didn't expect, however, was the fact that after I taught him everything I could, he kept sending me letters. We started to talk about what we are doing and how our Summer has been so far. We talked about Quidditch and our families and I told him stories of what me and my friends, that spend August with me, have been doing. I caught myself a few times waiting for his letter, wondering what he was going to write next or what interesting topic he will pick for our conversation.

Then one day in August, I got a letter where he wrote just how much fun he was having writing and corresponding with me and I felt my cheeks getting warmer. That night I couldn't sleep as I kept rereading the letter and thinking just how sweet he was. I knew, at that moment, that I fancied him. At first, it was a surprise because in our Third Year I had the biggest crush on Charlie's brother Bill.

I have embarrassed myself on several occasions, not standing to be in the same room as him, thus I spent more than half of last year in the Library. It wasn't until I talked to Nova that she made me realize that having a crush is not your choice and that it's not such a big deal. That's why I was so excited when I blushed with every letter Andre sent me.

And I know it might sound selfish, but I couldn't wait to tell my friends! Well, how they found out was a different story and I think Charlie has never wished to be in a different compartment more than when we were talking about crushes.

Oh, and speaking about Charlie and crushes! It's the end of May and my little darling sister still fancies him. She wrote me a letter every week where, besides our usual correspondence, she always asked how he is and what is he doing and if he asked about her. To her last question, I always answered 'yes' because I knew how much it meant to her and I didn't want to break her poor little heart! Charlie, however, felt very uncomfortable every morning when she was staring at him while he was eating cereal. Poor lad, what must he have thought of her and I think it is safe to say he is never coming to visit me again.

That won't do him any good as next year my sister is coming to school! I can imagine now, her following him everywhere and Charlie just losing it and being awkward. She didn't even mind when all he did was talk about Dragons to her so you have to know she is not easy to get rid of!

—

To go back to the most important thing...exams! I woke up on a beautiful Sunday in May and I couldn't wait to go down for breakfast and see my friends rolling their eyes as I mention the exams. I know I was nagging them and that they have been sick of me doing so since our First Year but I know that they secretly appreciate it because otherwise, I don't know what grades they would have.

I decided to be more cautious with Tonks this year. She has started asking me questions about Herbology just a few days ago and perhaps she is ready to study. I am so proud of her and how well she is doing in Herbology! Which, sadly, I can't say for Tulip, me, or Nova so Tonks will get the satisfaction of teaching us again!

This time around I have decided that I will find a different way to force them to study. I have stayed up all night for the past two days so that I could make them all notes on the subjects I knew they needed them for. I got out of bed and checked my bag, just to make sure I had everything ready. I went through notes for Nova, Tulip, Tonks, Charlie, Jae, and Andre, of course, and I had Bill's Potions notes as well as I am sure he will appreciate them.

I know it was nothing unusual for me that I was excited about exams but this year has been extra special because it meant I would be able to spend more time with Andre.

Since he first invited me to Hogsmeade for a Butterbeer, we have done so 7 times, which is such a magical number! I loved how I could talk to him about everything and I kind of understood Nova being such good friends with Charlie except that I am not sure if she fancies him or not. I still don't know who her crush is!

On our fifth unofficial Butterbeer date, he invited me for a stroll around Hogsmeade. We were looking at shop displays and talked about our Third Year when we all came here for the first time. We went to Honeydukes and he bought us some candy which I thought was really sweet because I love candy!

What was even sweeter was when we went back to school and just as we were going to pass the Courtyard our hands brushed together and he gently grabbed mine and our fingers entwined. I can't even start to describe how much I blushed and my heart was racing like never before. I still haven't told my friends about it and for the first time I wanted to keep it to myself. At least, until Andre and I talk about it, for which there is no rush!

Besides helping my friends and spending time with them, having my head in the clouds or reading, I have been spending most of my time down in the Dungeons in the Potions classroom. I thought Snape was joking when he wanted me to stay one day after class and told me that perhaps I wasn't a complete failure which in his language meant I was brilliant!

And when I thought that nothing can get better than getting a compliment from Snape he told me that if I wanted to use the classroom to study Potions on my own, I could do so. I was about to explode, however, I tried hiding my excitement from Snape as I knew he could take back his offer immediately. And that's not everything! He also said that I could use ingredients from his own personal closet. As long as I don't overuse them or use them to brew potions that could get me in trouble and I had to give him the list of the ingredients I used every time we had Potions. If that isn't a dream come true I don't know what is!

—

Back to my Sunday morning! I put the notes back in my bag and rushed to the Great Hall where all of my friends were having breakfast.

“Oh, no.” Said Tulip when she saw me. “I know that look.” She frowned.

“Yes.” I said and slammed my bag on the table. “It is time for me to start nagging you about exams.”

Tonks, as expected, stood up and left the Great Hall. Charlie started to pretend he was snoozing on Nova's shoulder, which made her giggle. If those two weren't just the most adorable thing you can ever see!

Tulip hid under the table and Jae followed her. Can't wait for their first official date!

“Come on! She lasted almost the whole year without talking about exams. Give the girl some credit.” Nova chuckled.

“Thank you, Nova!” I started taking notes out of my bag. “Now, I think you are old enough to be responsible for your own grades so I am just going to say this: the exams are coming, beware, and here is everything you will need to pass.” Charlie lifted his head, intrigued.

“Wait, this is all you are going to do this year?” Asked Jae, still under the table.

“Yes.” I sat down and put my head under it.

“No nagging us every single day?” Charlie asked, perplexed.

“No nagging.” I grinned. Nova narrowed her eyes but said nothing.

“Oh, and I almost forgot, if anyone does want to study together, I'll be in the Library most of the time.” I offered.

“Is Andre going to be there?” I looked under the table and Tulip was making a kissy face.

“Yes, he already asked me for help with Potions and History of Magic.” I showed her my tongue and got back up.

“Oh, then we wouldn't want to interrupt.” Nova winked at me.

“Yeah, we don't want to disturb you when you are gazing deep into one another's eyes.” Charlie widened his eyes as much as he could and blinked at me. Nova chuckled.

“Ha-ha, how mature of you!” I crossed my arms on my chest and stuck out my tongue again. We all started laughing.

—

What wasn't funny was the fact that just a week after exams started, I couldn't find Tonks anywhere. As every year since the First Year fiasco, we have all been keeping an eye on her. Last year she did pretty well, the year before that wasn't so bad either and this year she wasn't showing any signs of being nervous or running away.

I went down to the Great Hall and found Tulip and Jae studying out of the Kitchens for once. I asked them if they saw Tonks and they shook their head. They offered to search for her and we split up. I went to all the courtyards and down to the Lake where I found Charlie and Nova practicing Defense Against the Dark Arts spells with Bill. Nova almost stupefied me.

They haven't seen Tonks either and at this point, I was getting worried. They said they will start searching for her as well and we agreed to meet in the Great Hall in 15 minutes.

Just as Charlie, Nova, and Bill appeared on the one side of the corridor, Tulip and Jae did on the other one. They searched the Library and the Owlery and she wasn't there. I went back to our Common Room just in case she came back but wasn't there either. At this point, we all started to panic. We even went knocking on Filch's door to see if she accidentally locked herself in while trying to prank him. When he opened the door, we each ran in different directions while Filch was shouting something after us.

We were all sitting in the Courtyard, thinking of places we haven't looked at yet. We thought of the Greenhouses and the Transfiguration classroom but when Nova and Charlie went to check, she wasn't there. We felt defeated. We were so good for 3 years and now she slipped right between our fingers.

Suddenly, Nova, who was laying on Charlie's jacket, having her head on his legs, rose.

“Yes? What did you remember?” Tulip and I said together. We all got closer to her.

“Hogsmeade! This is the first official year where we can come and go from Hogsmeade as we please.” She talked so quickly that I needed a moment to follow.

“That is brilliant!” I beamed at her. We all got up at once and started making our way there.

We practically burst into the Three Broomsticks and there she was!

“Tonks!” We all called her name at the same time and also turned every single pair of eyes in the Three Broomsticks on us.

“Bloody hell!” Tonks rolled her eyes. We sat next to her.

“Tonks, what is going on?” Nova asked placing her hand on Tonks' back.

“I'm panicking again. Don't want to study and I won't!” She looked directly at me. “So don't try to persuade me, it won't work!”

“But you are doing so good with your exams so far. Only three to go.” Tulip tried cheering her up.

“Nope. Do not care. Not doing it.” Tonks shook her head.

“What are you so afraid of?” Charlie was asking a good question.

“Of failure. I don't want to be like Andre to study all Summer long because I wasn't smart enough to pass the exam.” She buried her face in her hands.

“Failing an exam doesn't make you stupid. It can happen to anyone.” Everybody turned to me as I am positive they couldn't believe that came out of my mouth. I just wanted to defend Andre.

“Right, says the smartest witch in school.” Tonks talked through her hands, her head still in them.

“I know what would cheer you up.” Beamed Tulip. “Let's take you to Zonko's and you can get anything you want on us.” We all nodded and that gave me another idea.

“You lot go to Zonko's while Charlie and I go make her a Calming Draught. I think that would make her feel better.” Nova and Charlie, however, bestowed me with a confused look.

“Why me? I want to go to Zonko's too.” Charlie asked.

“And you want to fly on a Dragon, we know.” I playfully rolled my eyes. He blinked at me. “I feel like I spent the least time with you this year and I want to catch up.” Which was true but that was not the main reason why I wanted to get him alone. We might not be close and come to think of it, I don't think we were ever really alone together except perhaps on rare occasions at breakfast. The real reason why I wanted him to go with me was because I needed to ask him something.

Now the whole lot was looking at me like I was losing my mind, not just Charlie. Nova then giggled and shrugged her shoulders at him, indicating that she has no idea what I am up to. They finally gave up on questioning me and I dragged Charlie to the Dungeons.

I told him which ingredients he should bring while I prepared the scales and the cauldron. We were brewing the potion in complete silence for at least 20 minutes. I only spoke when I needed a certain ingredient or when I needed him to get something for me.

“Charlie?” I finally spoke as I knew the potion needed to brew without stirring for 15 minutes.

“Yes?” I couldn't help but giggle at the sound of his frightened voice.

“I was meaning to ask you something since the beginning of this year but I never got the chance.” At this point, I swear I could hear his heartbeat.

“I know it's not really my business and we're not that close,” I continued, “and if you don't feel like answering the question, you don't have to.” Charlie glanced at the door and back to me. He had to be terrified, thinking what was I going to ask him, poor lad.

“Do you like Nova?” He stiffened.

“Of course, I like Nova. She's my best friend.” He tried to sit more upright to make me think he was completely oblivious about what I asked him.

“Charlie, you know what I mean.” I sat next to him and rested my chin on my fist. “Do you fancy Nova?” His cheeks turned so red that I could barely see his freckles.

“N-no.” He stuttered.

“Say it one more time and I'll believe you.” I winked.

“No.” He repeated and cleared his throat.

“Okay, whatever you say. Just know that it's okay to talk about it, that's why I wanted you to come with me. I have been watching you since you were with us in August. The way you were looking at her. Admiring her every move. Snapping out of your imagination every time someone spoke to you. Getting your cheeks red every time she walked into the room.”

“Is it that obvious?” He bowed his head.

“A little bit.” I giggled. “But I think I am the only one who noticed and your secret is safe with me.” I patted his shoulder.

“I could imagine that you needed some time to realize what was going on?” I asked after a few seconds of silence. He nodded.

“And you probably didn't talk this through with anyone?” He nodded again.

“Well, now is your chance to talk about it.” I gave out a friendly smile. “When did you realize you have feelings for her?”

“That night we sneaked into the Forbidden Forest.” Wow, he was really oblivious.

“And how does that make you feel?” I tried to catch his eyesbut he kept avoiding mine.

“Terrible.” He sighed. “I don't want to have these feelings. I don't want to be red in the face whenever she's around. I don't want to feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest and I definitely don't want to do anything about it.” He frowned.

“I understand. I was in a similar situation last year.” He looked me in the eyes for the first time.

“Who did you fancy last year?” I blushed and knew I made a mistake. I was not prepared to tell him that I had a crush on his big brother.

“Nobody you'd know.” I lied. “Listen, Charlie. What you are feeling is completely normal. It happens to everybody when we get to this age.”

“Well, I don't want it happening to me. I have more important things to do.” He got mad.

“Like read about Dragons?” I chuckled. “Exactly!” He grinned.

“You can read about Dragons, study Dragons, work with Dragons, fly with Dragons for all I care and you can still fancy someone and hold hands.” I winked.

“Woah, woah! Hold hands? Didn't you hear what I said?” He got defensive. “I don't wish or plan to act on it.”

“Oh, I heard you. I just chose to ignore you.” I pursed my lips.

“Perhaps you might not want to do anything about it now, but in a few years you might feel ready to do something about it.” I ruffled his hair. Nova was right, it is soft.

“A few years?” He jumped on his chair. “It's not going to last that long!”

“Whatever you say. It might, it might not.” I shrugged.

“I can't do anything about it, Penny. She's my best friend. You're not supposed to feel like that about your best friend. It ruins everything.” He gave out a deep sigh.

“I know that's probably the main reason you needed so long to figure it out and I understand that you think this might ruin your friendship with Nova but just imagine holding her hand.” I closed his eyes with my fingers. “Are you going to deny that you don't secretly want to do that?”

“I do.” He buried his head in his hands and let out a little cry.

“It's okay if you feel you're not ready to do anything about it, just don't deny your feelings because it only makes them stronger.” I lifted his chin.

“Penny, something that you are forgetting is that I don't know if she feels the same way.” He leaned over the table, his palm making a hole in his cheek.

“Look at how long it took you to realize you fancied her. For all we know, she might just be as oblivious as you.” I winked at him and he bestowed me with a little smile.

“Thank you for talking to me, Penny. I do feel better knowing I am not alone in this.” He hugged me. He was just the most adorable thing ever!

“No problem, Charlie. And if you ever need to talk about it just say that you have a Potions question.” I giggled. “It will be our little secret.”

Once we finished our heart to heart and our potion we hurried back to Hogsmeade and made Tonks drink it at once. The lot already calmed her down a bit, her carrying two large bags filled with Zonko's products. Charlie and I couldn't help but laugh.

We kept an extra eye on her for the rest of the week until the exams were finished and just like that, we saved Tonks yet again as she passed all her exams and to be completely honest, didn't do that bad on them either!

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scenariosofkonoha · 4 years

Text

Life’s Different Now| Modern! Kakashi

Part 6/?

Part 1| ... | Part 7

Summary: MC’s plans get shuffled around when she can no longer go home for the night. This leads her and Kakashi to going out and about and ending back up at his place. Kinda angsty. Kinda long. This is the shit y’all been waiting for.

“Okay, so I got you two extra shots just to make sure that you’ll make it through your last final.” you offered with a small smirk as you sat the coffee up on Kakashi’s desk.

Glancing away from his laptop, he gave a small frown. “I thought it was my turn to pay?” he questioned though he knew the answer. There were many times where he forgot, but this time he was certain that he was already two macchiatos in debt to you.

You confirmed his suspicion. “It was, but I’m not the one who has to grade 200 finals within a week, that’s you.” you reminded him, your smirk shifting to a gentler smile as you nudged the cup closer to him. “Best I could do was a quad shot.” Leaning back in his chair, he rubbed his eyes, exhaustion heavily influencing every single one of his moves. Holding his hands on top of his head, he gave it a shake as he looked to you for answers that you did not have. “Every 5 minutes, there’s another email from a student asking for extra credit.” he breathed. “And I haven’t even finished writing the ochem final and they’re taking it in…” he tried as he looked at his watch.

“35 minutes….” you affirmed.

“Fuck.”

You gave a reassuring smile. It was rare that Kakashi ever looked truly stressed, but you could now feel the strain that was placed on him as he now hastily tried to finish the exam. “I’m going to let you go; I’ll come back after you’re done, make sure you survived.” you offered, keeping you soft smile before quietly leaving the office.

You spent the next few hours completing the final adjustments to the plans that were going to be presented next week to the college officials for their approval. It was the last round of approvals and if everything went well, then demolition would start within the following weeks. By some miracle you and your team were on time as the college had wanted to start the demolition portion of the remodel in the summer, and it was spring finals week. Things were actually going to plan in your life; something that seldom ever happened. The time passed quickly as you added the final touches to the schematic and it took the blare of an alarm to bring you back into the present moment. Along with the pull back into reality, the chime brought the reminder that you had to check on an exhausted professor.

And so, just as you had done earlier, you made your way up to Kakashi’s office, though by this time, the hallways were no longer filled with exhausted students. They were abandoned, and the only remnants were an absurd amount of coffee cups. As you stepped through the now familiar heavy metal door, you had expected to find Kakashi nearly defeated in his office, yet as you entered the vacant lab, you were quickly redirected back toward the door.

Before you could say anything, there was a hand on your back, giving a gentle push towards the exit. “We need to go before they find me and beg.” he explained briefly, almost as if he were prey. As he guided you out, you took note that he already had his coat and bag on, indicating that he had been waiting for you to show up before he made his escape for the semester.

A small chuckle escaped you. Looked like that quad shot hit him just in time. “Can’t have those pesky undergrads getting ya, can we?”

His pace was quick as he shook his head and began his descent down the stairs. “No, cause I made half the test synthesis problems, and it made at least 3 cry in class. Didn’t mean to but…” he trailed for a moment, unsure of how much guilt he should have felt. “It’s fine, I’ll just curve it.” he murmured. “Let’s not focus on that.”

The pair of you began to talk about other things as you walked through campus, the same empty atmosphere evident throughout its entirety. Minor things filled the air, nothing of too high importance. It wasn’t until you felt your phone vibrate that anything of sustenance came up in conversation.

“Oh, that son of a…” you muttered as you read the text, an annoyed pout upon your face. You would have completed the phrase, but that would have casted down your own mother, so you kept the annoyance on the one who sent the text.

“Hm?”

Closing your phone, you took a deep breath. Stuffing your hands into the pockets of your jacket, you shook your head. “You have plans tonight, besides of course crashing from a caffeine overload?” you asked before giving him an explanation to your curse.

He raised an eyebrow at your sudden bounce of expression, “Nothing in mind, why?”

“Shisui’s bringing someone over tonight, which loosely translates into I need to find somewhere else to be for the night.” you explained. “Having your little sister in the same house as your friends with benefits is really a buzzkill, ya know.” you let out a half chuckle.

“Sounds like this has happened before?” he continued, the two of you nearly in the parking garage.

“Psh,” you retorted. “It’s Shisui, you know.” you offered with a shrug. “Love him, but he’s a mess some days, and today is one of those days.” you spoke with a gentle smile on your face. “But…” you began again, “This gives us time to celebrate that you made it through this hell of a semester.” you laughed. “C’mon, we can make it to happy hours still. Drinks are on me.” you chimed.

“I already owe you at least 20 bucks in coffee…” he reminded you.

You shrugged and jokingly rolled your eyes, “I mean, if you insist, you can pay for the alcohol.” you kept your voice light. Approaching your car, you nodded. “C’mon, I can drive there. Like you said, you don’t have anything to do tonight, and you’re gonna curve those tests anyways, so….” you trailed, a smirk never leaving your face.

He copied that sly smirk, “Ok, you got me.”

“Wow, I just peer pressured a doctor into drinking, I’m really moving up in the world.” you mocked as you unlocked the car. Though the contentment of the moment was fleeting as the pair of you opened the doors and began to get in, only to find a remnant of what now felt like a past life was placed in the passenger seat. Instantly seeing the package you should have already mailed, you sighed. “Oh gosh, uh, lemme grab that.” you offered as you picked up the small package wrapped in gold.

Reading into your reaction more than he should have, Kakashi apologized. “Sorry, didn’t mean to-

“No, no, no. Don’t be. It’s uh…” you let out a small chuckle. “It’s a birthday gift for my ex’s baby. She’s my goddaughter and she turns one in a few weeks, and I thought I was going to be there, and…” you trailed for a second, a tinge of sadness making itself evident. “And obviously things changed, and I’m not, so…” you gave a small sigh as you patted the box and placed it in the back seat, guilt creeping in.

There was quite a bit loaded in what you had just said. Things that Kakashi had never heard you talk about before, so he wasn’t even quite sure what to follow with. To add on, he wasn’t sure how much you would want to answer, so he offered a superficial question as the pair of you got into the car. “What’s her name?”

“Opal.” you smiled, giving in to a more lighthearted tone. “It was a little weird when he asked me to be the godmother, but it was an amicable break up and he ended up marrying one of my best friends a few years later. They said I was the most, “stable,” friend out of our group, so how could I say, ‘no?’” you trailed, feeling as if you had failed them for leaving.

“You miss them. Don't you?”

“Of course I miss them.” you pushed away some of the quietness. “I mean, I missed you all too when I was over there.” you countered as you started to leave the parking garage. “That’s just the unfair thing when you’ve led two different stories, no matter where you go, you're going to miss at least half of the people you’ve come to know and love…” you shrugged. The sense of loss was evident, though you tried to bring back levity into the conversation. “Anyways, enough with this, we’re going to celebrate you. I’ll take you to all the artsy bars me and the architects go to.”

***

“You’re a wreck,” Kakashi genuinely laughed as he held your hand going up the stairs to his apartment.

Already red faced from the alcohol, your color darkened as you looked up to him, “Stop, you’re being mean.” you retorted. “I’m not that bad, I just didn’t eat and tried to go toe to toe with you and that was a mistake, and I admit that.” you said, keeping your grip tight on his hand has he led you up the darkened stairwell.

“So you could go up these stairs by yourself?”

“Oh no,” you lied. “Please don’t let go of me.”

He shook his head, but couldn’t shake the smile off his face. He was nearly positive there was some party gene in your generation. Obito had it. Shisui had it. Itachi even had it at times. And you certainly had it. Yet he didn’t mind it; never knew what would happen when he was out and about with you. Placing his other hand on your waist, he guided you up the final flight of stairs that led to his apartment. You weren’t as off balance as he had expected, though he wasn’t going to question it. Pulling out his keys, he shrugged, “I’d apologize for the mess, but I saw the mess you left the patio during demolition,” he offered, the alcohol making it easier to talk.

You laughed, “Rude. At least I make things pretty in the end.”

Opening the door to the apartment, Kakashi switched the lights, making up the sun that had set long ago. Motioning for you to enter, he welcomed you in. “I can get you something to eat if you want, but if you want to keep drinking, we can always do that too.”

Spinning around to see him, you raised an eyebrow at him, “Wow, I was the one who started out with the peer pressure, but look at you! I’m so proud,” you remarked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I mean, I’ve had you as a role model.”

Covering your face at the quip, you blinked at him a few times before replying. “You know you’re cute when you banter,” you admitted without really thinking.

“Hm?”

Turning back so you faced the apartment, you looked around. “Uh, anyways,” you diverted the conversation. The only real mess was on the dining room table. There, in probably the messiest piles you'd seen in a while, were just countless photos. “What’s going on here?” you asked, partially interested and partially wanting to avoid the truth you just admitted.

Following you to the table, Kakashi picked up one of the photos. “Rin gave me the job of picking out some old photos from when everyone was little for the wedding.” he answered. “A lot of them were actually taken by you- Shisui found your SD cards months before you came back.”

You nodded silently. This was something that you would have been more than happy to do, but by the time it was assigned, you weren’t home and had no intentions of coming home, so you lost out on the opportunity. Sitting down at the table, you shifted through some of the photos. Gasping as you caught a glimpse of one, your brief sadness dissipated. “Oh my gosh, look how little you and Obito were,” you fawned as you flipped the picture to see the year. Instantly seeing the date, you gasped again and shook your head as you pointed to Kakashi, “This was the year that Obito was a little shit to me, Shisui, AND Itachi. I don’t remember what got into him, but he was such a jackass this year.” you could help but laugh.

“What?” Kakashi chuckled as he joined you, wanting to know what his best friend did to cause such a grudge in you.

“Lemme see if I can find a picture from that year…” you murmured as you quickly sprawled through the pile. “Here!” you exclaimed as you pulled out a photo of the four cousins and handed it to Kakashi. “This is from the holiday party that year. Within two months, Obito had accidently broken Shisui’s arm by pushing him down a flight of stairs while standing in a bin, gave Itachi a concussion by tackling him into a wall during a game, and he had knocked out three of my baby teeth and broke my nose because he had thrown a pumpkin at me during Halloween. Pretty sure I ruined the sweater he was wearing in the other picture, because my face would literally not stop bleeding and he was trying to calm me down.” you told him, now laughing at a time where all three of you wanted to end the eldest of you. “My parents were watching Itachi at the time too and were about to start sending Obito’s parents the ER bills.” you smiled.

“I thought your side of the family was the one that had everything together?”

“Oh no, all four of us were- and still are- complete disasters,” you stated. “It’s just what type of disaster do you want to deal with.”

“And what type of disaster are you?”

Again, you could feel your cheeks becoming redder, but you were hoping that the glow for the alcohol would cover up most of it. Setting down the photo, you stood up to get a glass of water. “Uh, I’m the type of disaster that doesn’t know what she’s doing and is constantly floundering around.” you answered, as you grabbed both your glass of water and Kakashi’s hand and took both to the couch.

He narrowed his eyes at the statement, questioning its validity. “What are you talking about? You know it looks like you know what you’re doing?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Let’s not forget that there wasn’t even two weeks between me deciding to move back here and me showing up that night…” you started. “And, I’ve been back, what? Almost six months now, and I still don’t know if it’s the right decision.” you admitted a painful truth hidden behind a chuckle.

Yet you should have known there was no use hiding things from him; he was too perceptive of those around him when he wanted to be. A bit of confusion was apparent in his expression, not yet having realized that you had struggled with this for nearly half a year. “If you didn’t want to come back, then why did you?” he questioned.

You took a deep breath and let your head fall back against the couch, knowing the reason wasn’t well thought out. “Shisui asked.” you answered before diverting your eye contact. “I wasn’t originally planning to come back until he asked…” you admitted as you took a sip of water- now wishing that you had poured a glass of wine.

There was a small moment of silence before he asked a follow up. Kakashi was very well aware that your brother was one of your closest companions, but for you to just get up and leave a life where you were so successful on a simple request, didn’t quite make sense. “Why did you leave here in the first place then?”

You drew your lips into a straight line. If it hadn’t been for the multiple drinks in your system, you wouldn’t have given a true answer and would have ended this conversation there, but with alcohol came honesty. “Um, well I needed to prove that I could be my own person- that I could survive, alone.” you breathed out.

He narrowed his eyes, not quite understanding the depth of your statement.

“Don’t look at me like that.” you frowned. “You know what I’m talking about. When you first met me, and even up until a few years ago, what did you associate me with.”

He shrugged. “Obito’s cousin. You were one of the Uchiha kids, always with Shisui and Itachi.”

“Exactly. Most people think that. And there’s nothing wrong with being associated with the boys. I’m not saying they’re bad or anything of the sorts. I’d do anything for any of those three, but…” your voice fell again, unable to exactly pinpoint your feelings. “Sometimes, I just… I didn’t have a complete identity growing up. It was always a partial one, because it was always me and Itachi or me and Shisui, and I just… I love them all, but I needed to prove that I was more than just a part of a duo or trio- I still feel like I need to prove it...”

“Prove it to who?”

You became silent. “Everyone? Myself?” you gave up, though you didn’t know the true answer.

“I never thought that you weren’t a whole person though? I don’t see you as just an Uchiha kid?”

You frowned, “But if we’re honest, you probably did until 2 or 3 years ago.”

Kakashi shook his head. “I didn’t really know you until 2 or 3 years ago, and then when I did get to know you, you’ve always been a distinct person.” he defended, secretly thanking the still trace amounts of alcohol in his system for allowing the truth.

The validation caused you to give a small smile. “I suppose, but you were also one of the few people who saw me overseas though…” you brought up a little known fact. “And over there, I was my own person. It’s just harder to be that here. Everyone sees me as an Uchiha and not as me...”

“Is that why you think we all stay around?” he questioned, a slight sense of distraught evident.

“I mean…” you shrugged. “I don’t know?”

“I’m staying around you, because of you. Not because you’re Obito’s cousin.” he affirmed.

You shrugged again, not knowing what to say. “I just… I don’t know.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“I want to be around you, because of you. You’re smart and capable and one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. I don’t think there’s anyone else that I know that would have dropped everything and flew halfway across the world in the matter of a few hours to be there for one of their friends. That’s the first reason why I wanted to know you more. You’re more than a last name or your family, you’re you and…” he trailed for a moment, knowing that he rambled- something that he never did. “And I thought we had something?”

“We did…” you affirmed. “We do…” you corrected. “I’m just…I’m terrified of just being an accessory to someone else…” you frowned.

“You won’t be an accessory…” he tried. Bringing a hand up to your face he tried to reason with you. “Before you said that this wasn’t an option because we weren’t aligned at that point in time. Now we are, so why not now…?”

Locking eyes with him, you could feel your heart pounding in both your chest and head. “You got me there…” you copied a phrase he had pulled on you only hours before.

“So…?”

You should have replied. You should have put your thoughts out into existence, but that had proved too hard before and it was doing the same now. And so, you did the easiest thing during that moment and leaned in quickly to kiss him, not wanting to talk anymore. Actions were louder than words anyways, right?

Cradling his face as you kissed him, urgently pulling him closer to you. While you would have liked to say that there hadn’t been any tension in your friendship since you had gotten back, that would have been a lie. There was a history between the two of you, a history that had been ignored up until now. Yet your choice to focus on action rather than voice proved to be understood. You could feel him reciprocating the same affection after getting over the initial shock of your immediate action.

Throughout the years, Kakashi had learned that there were some moments you were calculated and some moments you threw everything to the wind. He had played this scenario out in his head many times, and this was certainly a moment where Kakashi thought you would be calculated, but here you were in his lap, kissing him like you had years ago, and you were anything but. Maybe the alcohol rushed it. There were things you two should have talked of first, yet he wasn’t going to question it much. Truthfully, this conclusion was far better than he was expecting.

It was uncertain how long the initial kiss had lasted, but by the time you pulled away, you were nearly breathless. Still cradling him, you raised an eyebrow at him. “I honestly really like you, but you know I’m a fucking mess…?” you asked.

He let out a small laugh, his hand gently caressing your cheek. “Yeah, but aren’t we all…?” he muttered before pulling you close again.

The pair of you continued, but were startled apart by the ringing of his phone, which laid across on the opposite side of the couch. Instinctively, you looked over to find that it was Obito calling him, though your concern was quickly redirected.

“It’s fine, probably, ” Kakashi murmured, bringing you to face him again, so that the pair of you could resume.

Though that didn’t last long, for only a few moments later you were listening to your phone now start to chime. Again, you heard the phone ring and pulled back a second to take a glance at it. Seeing that it was Obito again, you frowned and looked to Kakashi. Resting your forehead against his, you sighed. “We should take that, shouldn’t we?” you murmured.

“It would be the right thing to do…” he murmured, his hand now caught up in your hair.

“I thought you were supposed to be the morally grey one…” you smirked before you grabbed your phone. “Hi, Obito,” you greeted as you remained sitting in Kakashi’s lap and turning the phone on speaker.

“Hey, hey, hey littlest cuz. How are you?” he nearly yelled into the phone, a loud background also encompassing the call.

“Oh, I’m peachy,” you offered, your eyes never unlocking with Kakashi’s. “Why are you calling? It’s 2 am on a Friday night? I was uh… going to do some things...” you trailed with a coy expression.

“UH SO,” he yelled again, causing both you and Kakashi to both pull away from the phone. “I’m uh, just like a little uh wasted at the bar downtown, like the one with three floors? And I was wondering if you would come and pick me up?” he asked.

“Have you tried an Uber?”“

“Right, uh, I’d have to wait two hours…”

“Have you tried Shisui? I don’t think he has any plans tonight?” you lied.

“Didn’t answer, and neither did Kakashi or Itachi and Rin’s on a night shift,” he explained. “C’mon baby cuz, you're the best cousin, and can you just pick me up this once? I’ll owe you, I promise.”

You silently sighed and looked to Kakashi, who also gave a small sigh. “I’ll get the keys,” he whispered to you.

You gave him a small pout before talking back into the phone. “Alright Obito, I’ll come get you, just wait. I’ll text you when we’re there.” you offered up before hanging up. “What a bastard…” you murmured, giving Kakashi one last kiss. “Are you sure you can drive?” you questioned as you stood up.

He nodded. “Oh yeah, I'm fine. Let’s go get your drunk cousin.”

“You mean your drunk best friend?” you nearly snickered.

***

Getting downtown actually took quite a bit of time, causing a lot of understanding to be given to the ridiculous Uber times that surrounded this part of town. Not only did this give time for that understanding, but it also gave you time to sober up, at least slightly. And with that came the uncompromising thoughts of what did all of this mean and how did it all align with what you wanted. Did you want Kakashi? Of course, anyone in their right mind would want him. Yet how did that impact your own goals? You had only just begun to be seen as an individual, and were you willing to give all that up to be seen as the girlfriend of one of the prominent members of your social group? Part of you had wished that you could have just remained uninhibited, but that was not possible at the current moment. “Kakashi…” you began.

“Mmhmm?”

“What does this mean…?” you questioned.

He took a deep breath, unsure where you now stood now that you were gaining your inhibitions back. “What does it mean to you?”

“I….” you whispered, unable to put your feelings into words. If you had been given another 30 seconds, you probably would have been able to say something, but you weren’t allowed that time. “Oh shit, there on the corner.” you were distracted by the oldest of your generation.

It didn’t take Obito long to see your car and haphazardly walk over to you and climb into the back seat. “Hey, thanks, you’re my favorite, did you know- Oh hey, Kakashi! What are you doing here? Why didn’t you answer my call? Why are you with my cousin?” Obito rambled as he placed both hands on the front seats and peered forward.

“Those are all good questions.”

“Oh my God, are you two hooking up? Rin was fucking right-” he spoke up nearly excitedly.

“Obito-” you cut him short. “Stop. You’re drunk.” you interjected.

Letting go of the front seat, he let his back fall against his own seat. “Uh, sorry. I was talking to her about couples in the wedding and all that, and you know, I thought of you, and I’m gonna set you up with someone at the wedding, cuz.” he nodded, his eyes closed as his spiel went on.

“Obito-” you tried to stop him, but you should have known better than to quiet a drunken Obito.

Swatting the air, he shook his head, “No, no, hear me out. You’re cute-” he stopped for a second. “That sounded weird cause we’re related, but like in a cousin way you’re cute, but like I’m also gonna set you up, because I think you should date someone. Like- don’t tell the others but you are the best relationship material out of us all. And like I was talking to Rin, and she was like thinking that you two were cute together, but like, I dunno, but she thought that, and at first I was like, I guess, but now I see it- and oh maybe I’ll set you two up?”

“Obito, please-”

“No, Y/N, trust me, you could be great-”

“Obito, I got it, but I just.” you snapped a bit harsher, before following up with a near whisper, a whisper that was directed to the other in the car. “ I just need to be my own person for a while…”

#DONE #lemme know your thoughts.#its kinda long #kakashi #kakashi fic #kakashi hatake #man what if obito didn't call

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