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all-things-mlqc · 4 years

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I‘m not really far in the game but I know that every boy except Shaw, met MC/Us when they were younger. Do you think, they would‘ve love MC even if she wasn‘t this girl from their childhood and didn‘t have the Queen power? And btw what is even the queen power exactly. Like I said I‘m not far in the main story and I saw MC in a black dress etc

Hi there! I will do my best to explain my thoughts without mentioning any major spoilers for you since it’s always nice reading the plot for yourself! (I will be sure to give spoiler warnings before talking about it)

To start off, we should talk about the Queen’s power. It’s a bit confusing to us even to this day but what we can gather from what we have so far, game and anime wise, she has the ability to make other evolvers stronger. She’s somewhat of a battery or power source for all evolvers if that makes sense? Evolvers are still able to use their evols without her but she can “lend” people strength.

As for whether or not the boys would still lover her regardless of her evol, it’s hard to say for a few simply because her evol was the reason she met 2 out of the 4 of them. So if she didn’t have an evol, it’s likely she wouldn’t have met Kiro or Victor in the first place. But, hypothetically, let’s say that they did meet the same way and she did not have the Queen’s gene, then yes, I believe both Kiro and Victor would’ve still fallen in love with her.

Slight spoilers for Kiro’s past (how they met): Kiro and MC were both tested on as kids. Kiro is younger than MC and was frightened and confused at the time. He didn’t know much because he was so young when tested on by Black Swan. In fact, he 100% didn’t know MC had the Queen gene. He was simply way too young to understand or know that. He found a girl close to his age and wanted to get closer to her because she brought him comfort. It was the day he met her that he promised he would always protect her and he has continued to fulfill that promise. She was in a worse condition than he was when they were being tested on but still smiled and comforted him. With that being said, yes, it’s likely he would’ve still fallen in love with her because she brought him so much comfort and happiness during hard times regardless of her being the Queen.

Slight spoilers for Victor’s past (how they met): Similar to Kiro’s, both Victor and MC were together when Black Swan had taken them as “test subjects”. Victor met MC at a park where she was balling her eyes out as per usual. Good job MC and comforted her with pudding. Tbh, baby Victor reminds me of Killua from Hunter x Hunter. Anywho, it seems like Victor knew MC was an evolver just like him and he felt the need to watch over her because of what they both were. While he probably knew she was an evolver, it’s likely he didn’t know she was the “Queen” since he was so young. Well, Black Swan caught up with them and took them both into custody and that’s when the escape we see in game happens as well as how they were separated. It confirms in the anime that Victor’s number one goal all his life was to find that girl again. Everything he had done up to this point was for MC. I’m not really sure if he originally decided to keep searching for her because he felt responsible or if there was more to how he felt for her. Considering she did risk her life for his own, it could go either way. But it is clear that he does care for her whether or not she’s the “Queen”. He did know she had an evol but that’s all he knew.

Kiro and Victor seemed more like a traumatic experience bringing them closer which is a common way of bringing people together. If they had not met that way because MC didn’t have the Queen gene, then I’m not sure what would’ve happened.

On to Gavin, my sweet sweet Gavin. Answer is yes. 100%. Man is head over heels for this girl. He looked at her once, pointed, and said “that’s my wife”. Literally. With Gavin’s high school reputation as the frightening “overlord”, everyone was constantly scared of him. Nobody would talk to him or want to be around him because of the terrible rumors going around. How he’s always picking fights, stealing money, this and that. Long story short, none of that is true. He’s actually a vigilante of some sort but he doesn’t care to explain himself because nobody would believe him anyway. So he lived his life being feared. At least up until he met MC for the first time.

Slight spoilers for Gavin’s past (how they met): It was a rainy day and Gavin was walking around in the rain in an alley when he suddenly saw a girl squatting down, shielding a box from the rain with her own body. Gavin looked a bit closer and realized there was a kitten in the box. The girl was quietly talking to the kitten when she felt someone’s eyes on her. She turned to Gavin and then gave him a small smile. The only smile someone has given Gavin in years. The only light and comfort he had felt in so long. Not to mention his family situation. There’s a whole lot going on there if you haven’t read about it yet Because this feeling was new to Gavin, he got flustered and looked away, kicking a can on the ground in hope of a distraction. The girl continued to care for the kitten in the box only to feel a jacket being draped across her shoulders. Unable to thank him in time, MC watched as Gavin jogged across the street in only his shirt as the rain came down harder. I. Love. This. MAN. Ever since that day, Gavin found himself looking for her at school. He watched her silently and helped her whenever she needed it he helped grab a book from the top shelf when she couldn’t reach it. Coincidence he is always there when she needs it? I think NOT. He was smitten for her. Without knowing anything about her other than her kindness, he was a little puppy dog following her around to preserve the light in her. He is, what we all know and love, a SIMP. I STAN ONE MAN AND IT IS THIS SIMP THAT WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER. Anywho, time goes by, he’s her guardian angel throughout high school and then finds out about her identity in the evolver world from his father who is in a law enforcement group that deals specifically with evolvers. I mean, gestures to Gavin. The man wanted a child with a strong evol. After Gavin found out about who she was, he knew he would need more to protect her and that’s why he became a cop. Yes, this man became a cop just so he could protect the girl he loved. SO TO SUM IT UP, YES. He already fell in love with her without knowing she was an evolver so 100% yes.

Slight spoilers for Lucien as well: As for Lucien, I feel as if his position is a bit more complex. He knew MC when she was younger as well but it seemed like they had more of a friendship rather than him caring for her romantically. The reason why Lucien is originally so intrigued by her (grown up) is because he sees her in color. Lucien is color blind so when he was able to see her drenched in bright vivid colors, he was immediately interested in her. Though I don’t know if he was romantically interested in her in the beginning or if he was just curious, he obviously grew feelings for her later when he decided to protect her and somewhat betray Black Swan. In later chapters, he makes it very clear he was in the wrong with how he saw the world and after making “necessary” sacrifices and realized how much he truly cares about MC. So as far as would he love her without her being the “Queen”, I’m really not sure. The reason they are so close in the first place is because she IS the Queen. But being able to see her in color is probably enough for him to want to get closer to her.

And finally we have the himbo punk boy Shaw. I’m not sure how much you know about Shaw but I am warning you now that there are going to be mentions of his past which DO contain some heavy spoilers.

Shaw is the odd man out, yes. He’s introduced later in the story and actually has a very interesting role. You mentioned you saw MC in a dark dress. Spoiler alert: That is who we call “dark MC”. And it seems as if Shaw has ties with her and is possibly(?) working with her. Then again, Shaw is actually a lone wolf himself. He does what he finds to be entertaining and benefits him. He went against his father’s orders (which is very hot because I hate that man. Eat shit military man) and has his own way of gathering information. He is very good at making relationships with people to gather intel and have people he can use if needed all the while keeping his distance. Shaw very likely only has a relationship with MC because of his line of work. It seems as if he’s actually manipulating her in a way to go according to his own plan that involves dark MC. So far, in my opinion, it doesn’t seem like Shaw has any romantic feelings for MC in the main plot. He’s just interested in her because she spices up his life with chaos and he feeds off of stimulation. Though, I am excited to see how their relationship progresses and what he decides to do when he has to choose between the two sides of MC. There are small signs of Shaw caring more about MC in later chapters now but the man is just in denial because hE dOesNt hAvE aNy wEaKneSsEs.

I hope this helps explain a few things as well as my own thoughts on their relationships if MC wasn’t the Queen. Thanks for the ask!

#mlqc #mr. love queen's choice #mr. love #mlqc gavin #mlqc shaw #mlqc kiro #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc spoilers #asks #hope this helps!

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eroticintestines · 4 years

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OH CRap I forgot to add that I wanted the Tick HC to be an x reader, I'm very sorry about that :' ) could the reader be gender neutral-? :0

That's okay!! I've never written for Tick before, so I hope this isn't too bad! Also, of course, all of my stories are gender neutral in general!

(Thank you for your nice message btw!!)

💣🖤( 𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊 )🖤💣

-Yet another ray of sunshine. He really chases the clouds away with his silly little noises and permanent grin.

-Since he can't communicate any anyway else but with random robot noises, his confessions are a bit wonky, and he has to show affection in different ways.

-But that's just his speciality! He always figures out just how to tell you he absolutely adores you.

-With that being said, the day he confessed was more of a mere accident. Well, a lucky accident.

-Pam is the one who designs all the robots in Brawltown(except Darryl, that guy just showed up out of nowhere),and let's Jessie decorate them if she wants to.

-So of course Jessie was feeling really creative one day, but she chose the completely wrong day; Valentines.

-She caught Tick staring at you multiple times that day by accident. She was just walking around town, looking at all the lovely decorations and couples holding hands, when she stumbled on the little robot staring at you from around the corner.

-You were really caught up in your tea and your conversation with Penny, so you didnt notice him all the way from the cafe.

-The poor little robot looked almost sad, he really felt as if you had no interest in him at all.

-Jessie being the genious she is, noticed it immediately, and decided to make a plan. She invited Tick over for a movie, but she demanded to see some of Tick's bombs.

-Tick proudly fired a single bomb out of his canon, handing it over to Jessie and making sure it doesnt explode. She took it in her hand and pulled out her paint and brushes.

-Tick watched with great curiosity as she painted a single heart on it, putting it on the shelf next to her and saying "Just for memories!". She winked at him with a huge grin.

-When the movie was over, Tick left and Jessie was once again left alone. She quickly took out a paper and a pen and wrote down a love letter. To whom, you ask? To you, of course!

-She made sure to sign Tick under it with as many colours as she could, drawing some hearts around the words for a better effect. She took the bomb Tick gave her with her, making sure nobody saw the redhead sneaking over to your house and ringing the doorbell. She left the gift at your doorstep and bolted to her hiding spot.

-When you opened the door you were confused. You saw the gift and it took you about 15 seconds to realise that it was a bomb. Of course you got scared, thinking it was going to explode, but when you didnt hear any sort of ticking, you calmed down.

-You recognised that it was Tick's bomb. You smiled softly, looking at the heart drawn on it. When you opened the letter and read it, you couldn't help but feel bashful.

-The letter just about complimented everything about you, and it nearly made you tear up. You knew Tick didnt write this himself, but it still meant a hell of a lot that his signature was at the bottom of it.

-You left your house with the same grin you had at the beginning, searching for the little love struck robot. When you found him, he was having a 'conversation' with Gene. They apparenlty understood eachother.

-You approached him, patting his head lightly to gain his attention. He looked up at you, his eyes suddenly sparking. You kneeled down to him and pressed a soft kiss on the top of his head. "I'm not sure who helped you confess, but I'm glad they did," you told him.

-Tick looked at the letter and bomb in your hand, suddenly realising what happened. He hid his head in his body, smoke coming out of him. You chuckled softly, patting his shoulder. "Hey, buddy, I like you too you know."

-He made sure to pay Jessie a visit that day.

-He was a shy boy when you confessed, but after you two got into a relationship, he finally came out of his shell. You gave him confidence to be what he wanted to be. He was always seen as some stupid little machine, but after he found someone who loved him the way you do, he knew he was worth loving.

-He likes to sneak into your lap and sleep there like a cat. He also purrs! It's a secret trait of his that only you know. So go along, pet him!

-He doesn't need to sleep like any other robots, so he usually stays up when you sleep. That can lead to a lot of 'accidents'. You make sure to lock the kitchen whenever you sleep.

-There's a lot of trust in your relationship. He's a fragile little guy, so he values the fact you trust him with things that could possibly send him to Pam's office.

-Even though you can't help but worry he might hurt himself one day. You protect him in matches all the time. It only took you one good look at Bull absolutely demolishing Tick in a duo to make sure you're always by his side.

-He loves animals! His favourite are hamsters. The apartment you share with him is filled with hamsters.

-He tends to accidentally shoot his bombs out of his canon when he gets too excited, but thankfully they rarely go off.

-You took up knitting at some point and made him a scarf, since he always wears one. He was really glad about it.

-Like I mentioned, he shows affection with his action rather than words. He hugs your legs out of the blue, wants you to pick him up, brings you various items from his adventures with Darryl, Penny and Poco, practically demands Jessie to paint your name on his canons...He's practically melting when you compliment him on his commitment.

🐁🐁🐁

#brawl stars x reader #brawl stars #brawl stars tick #request

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racefortheironthrone · 5 years

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Thoughts on House of X #5

Time for the issue where HoX/PoX horniness kicked off!

Society Comma We Live in One:

Time to talk about an issue that definitely merited the coverted red issue status. The issue starts with Magneto and Polaris having a dialogue on society that comes off as a bit writerly, more about Hickman creating an opportunity for him to talk about his ideas about society than what Magneto and Polaris would actually be saying to one another (unless Polaris just arrived on Krakoa and is being given the tour, but that doesn’t quit fit her dialogue).

To start with, Magneto is making an argument that “the one good thing humanity taught us was society,” but attaches this to the concept of human beings shifting from settler-gatherer to agrarian cultures. Notably, in Magneto’s version, this shift also has implications for national identity, what with the whole “this is a good place - it is...ours, and from this land we will not be moved.”

At the same time, it would be highly inaccurate to suggest that hunter-gatherer cultures don’t have societies or engage in (what Magneto is really getting at here) cooperation. The main difference between hunter-gatherer and agrarian modes of cooperation is that, by creating substantial surpluses that allow more people to not engage in food production, the agrarian mode enables a new form of cooperation based on specialization.

All of this applies pretty directly to Krakoa and the resurrection ceremony that Magneto and Polaris are witnessing: as long as mutantdom was constantly fighting for survival (the time when “the greatest necessary traits in mutantdom” would be “strength and aggressiveness”), it was essentially stuck in a hunter-gatherer paradigm. But once mutantdom established themselves on Krakoa, “intelligence, ingenuity, and creativity” started to come to the fore: the Krakoan flowers and medications, Doug’s interface and the resulting Krakoan systems, KASA, Cerebro, and now a new one. Contrary to certain implications from the Librarian in Powers of X #6, rather than simply relying on their “natural” mutant powers, Krakoan society is technologizing them.

The “Five” are a great example of this process at work. I’ll get more in detail on how this particular Krakoan biomachinery works when we get to the infographic (which brings together all of the information into one place), but there’s some more subtle details at work here:

I love how the (Fab) Five’s social/cultural status is prefigured by their on-page introduction, which looks like nothing so much as the slow-motion group shot from Resevoir Dogs combined with a supergroup pose complete with spotlights.

As many people have pointed out, Hickman’s reinterpretation of Goldballs’ “seemingly benign and pointless power” shows how a different social and technological context completely changes the way we think about the value of different x-genes.

As someone who’s spent their fair share of time studying the history of science, I do like how much the Five’s introduction re-emphasizes themes of cooperation and specialization rather than the Lone Genius myth: even with Goldballs’ limitless “eggs,” he still needs Proteus to make the eggs viable, and so on and so forth. As Magneto puts it, ““separate...they are great mutants, but only significant, not transcendant. Together..."

An interesting commonality in Krakoan biotechnology is the use of psychics and other mutants - in this case, Hope plays a similar role to the Cuckoos in KASA - to allow the group to work in unison without the need for the literal hiveminds of the machine consciousness. Something to keep one’s eye on.

At the same time, the Five’s biomachine relies on two other forms of technology of varying levels of technology. As the red diamond on the syringe confirms, Mister Sinister provides the DNA to grow the husks and (and this is one of the Big Reveals of the issue) Cerebro downloads the mind into the body.

Playing her role in the Socratic dialogue admirably, Lorna raises the vital question of whether these clones are “just their bodies...not them.” What’s really interesting about Magneto’s response is that he’s not just talking about downloading the mind of the mutant, but also “the essence..the anima...[the] soul” of the mutant, which implies a pretty strongly spiritual conception of Cerebro’s primary purpose. (It’s an interestingly monist approach to the question of the soul as a form of data that can be copied, uploaded, downloaded, etc. I wonder what Nightcrawler thinks of this?)

Xavier’s statement that “even knowing I could bring you back...a part of me dies when any of you do” really backs up what I was talking about re: Xavier’s motivation for changing his worldview. Resurrection doesn’t change the emotional impact of death, especially since the system requires Xavier to be psychically linked to the X-Men he’s sending into harm’s way, so that he’s experiencing all their pain and suffering. This also reads quite differently in the wake of Powers of X #6, because it suggests that (quite aside from his broader plans for Krakoa), Xavier’s shift to being even more of a pragmatist has a lot to do with years of compounding trauma.

BTW, a clear sign that there is a high degree of continuity of consciousness going on is that Scott’s first thought after being resurrected is “did it work?” For all intents and purpsoes, this is the Scott Summers who died on Sol’s Forge.

We See Them, Do We Know Them?

I’m going to take this opportuntity to get on my high horse for a second and take parts of the X-fandom to task. While I wouldn’t go so far as to accuse anyone of arguing in bad faith, I do think there has been a tendency to not grapple with the text in an honest way when it comes to certain characters or themes, with the Resurrection Ceremony as Exhibit A in this tendency.

Rather than being about cults or nakedness (more on both of those soon), what this scene is actually about is the coming together of the foundational aspects of Krakoan society/culture, and how two groups of heroes - the five and the strike team - will be treated in this new world.

As we might expect, there are both parallels and differences in how the Krakoan masses treat and are expected to treat these groups: as we’ll learn later from the Resurrection Infographic, the Five are “universally revered...as cultural paragons [something sacred to be treasured].”

Storm’s exhortation provides the text that is supposed to shape and give purpose to this popular attitude, that the Krakoan masses should “love them...for they have righted the wrongs of men and defeated our great enemy death.” As with many RL human cultures, historic grievances are used to define in-group and out-group, but at the same time, the Five’s “miracle” is defined as a victory over “our great enemy death,” (which neatly ties together anti-mutant violence, mutant-specific epidemic diseases, all the forces of the “on the brink of extinction” stories we’ve seen for almost twenty years).

Given that the Five are responsible for A. reversing mutant genocides which have directly and indirectly affected all mutants in profoundly traumatic ways B. making mutants functionally immortal, it would be utterly unprecedented if a cultural and social change of this magnitude did not have some element of spiritual or religious feeling behind it. World religions have been founded on far less than this.

By contrast, the Strike Team are described in more secular terms. For removing the existential threat of Mother Mold (let alone Nimrod) which had loomed over mutant society, Storm describes them as “heroes of Krakoa,” but not so much cultural heroes as secular military heroes who have made the ultimate sacrifice for their nation: “through their deaths...a great victory was won for our people.”

Another sign of difference is that the Strike Team’s public reception is conditional, requiring a further ceremony where the community asks “we see them, but do we know them?” I love the way that Hickman turns the meta-question of whether these resurrected mutants are the real thing or “just clones” into a cultural question.

Thus, he has Storm act as the Master of Ceremonies for a ritual that’s all about recognition and confirmation of individual and social identity, and uses X-comics continuity nods that readers will recognize in the same way that Storm does as the clues:

Cyclops remembers losing the leadership to Storm in UX #139, and I like this particular deep cut because it’s a great contrast to their present-day respect and affected, and because Scott’s inability to commit to his marriage to Madelyn Pryor will help kick off Inferno.

Similarly, Jean recalling line-for-line what she said to Storm in UX #242 works especially well because it’s a line about asserting your identity in the wake of death, resurrection, and the existential questions of cloning, and because once again it recalls Inferno. I’m not sure whether it’s a good sign or a bad sign that Hickman gets Jean’s voice better here when he’s quoting earlier authors rather than writing original dialogue.

And finally, in a great Rule of Three joke format, Monet breaks the pattern by going for a character beat - Monet has strong personal space boundaries - rather than a deep continuity callback.

Having done my close-reading due diligence, let me get to the point: this is not a cult, and you don’t need to take much in the way of Anthropology coursework to see that. Call-and-response between an officiant and the congregation are incredibly common across many religions, as are ceremonies in which the individual’s membership in the group is confirmed, and so on and so forth. If you want to describe this as a cult, or cult-like, you need to point to qualities that are specific to cults as opposed to other forms of religious activity.

Similarly, I find it quite strange to describe Storm as acting out-of-character in this sequence. Storm, who’s all about giving speeches at the top of her lungs, who’s been worshipped as a goddess in multiple countries, would have a problem with giving a sermon and carrying out a basic ritual? This is the sort of thing that makes me think that a lot of these comments are just people trying to disguise personal preference as story critique.

The scene ends with pulling back to see Xavier and Magneto reacting to all of this, and their feeling of tempered joy is a pretty good synecdoche for how things stand at the end of HoX/Pox: while the “good work” is clearly a cause for joy, it’s clearly at a very early and vulnerable stage, and there’s a feeling of determination that it has to continue “until it is done.” Interestingly, both Charles and Erik view this aspect of Krakoa as more “foundational” than any other element, and I wonder whether this could be part of why they don’t quite see eye-to-eye with Moira any more.

Another sign that things are not as secure as they’d like is that Krakoa still hasn’t gotten over the hurdle of UN recognition, which requires getting around a veto from a permanent member of the Security Council.

Resurrection Infographic:

So let’s talk about the Resurrection process, now that we have all of the information in front of us.

The Infographic really confirms that Mister Sinister is absolutely crucial to the Genetic Base working - “without this, we have nothing.” But given that we learn in Powers of X #6 that this was very much in opposition to Moira’s wishes, I wonder how the original plan envisioned this working. I wonder whether Magneto’s statement to Emma Frost in Powers of X #5 that “we are not ahead of ourselves...we are woefully behind” suggests a motive. Mister Sinister already had a comprehensive DNA database on the go, they might have gone to him because they wanted to accelerate the time table for reversing the Genoshan genocide.

At the same time, you can already see how Sinister has become the snake in the garden. At the moment, Xavier and Magneto have “limited...current mutant modifications...to “optimal aging,” but we can already see Sinister’s influence in the line “it is believed that in the future, designer modifications will be possible.” Unless they are very, very careful, this is how the chimera singularity could topple all of this into the abyss of the singularity.

The Five:

As I discussed above, each of the Five are a crucial element of the overall process.

Fabio Medina (Goldballs): produces limitless eggs for limitless husks. Without Goldballs, the resurrection process would be extremely limited in how many people could be brought back at any time by all kinds of resource constraints; with him, the process can be turned into one of mass-production.

Kevin MacTaggart (Proteus): turns unviable eggs into viable eggs; without Proteus, Goldballs’ innovation would be effectively stillborn. Kevin’s presence here is also a strong indicator that this was part of Moira’s plan, so as with so much in HoX/PoX what we’re talking about is a question of means vs. ends.

Joshua Foley (Elixir): “kick-start[s] the process of life, initializing cell replication and husk growth.” Without Elixir, the DNA might sit dormant within the egg; with Elixir, you have a bridge between the raw building blocks of life and the end product of a viable husk.

Eva Bell (Tempus): “temporally mature[s] a husk to a desired age.” This is potentially an under-appreciated aspect of the whole process: without Tempus, you’d still have to wait decades for resurrected mutants to come to maturity and all throughout that time, the process would be incredibly vulnerable; with Tempus, mutants are brought back to life as fully-grown adults capable of doing their part for Krakoan society.

Hope Summers (Hope): has the more nebulous task of “enhancing and synergizing...to ensure the success of each resurrection.” As Magneto explains, resurrection is “delicate, almost impossible work.” Hope’s unique power set allows her not only to boost the powers of the rest of the five, but also to improve coordination and thus quality control, so that the overall process has a success rate of 100%.

As we can see already, this is a system with a lot of irreplacable parts, which means a bunch of potential points of failure. No wonder, then, that Krakoan minds are at work trying to overcome these problems. We already see that “Synch or Mimic” have been floated as “upgrades/extensions/stand-ins” for the Five, which suggests that they’re already thinking about ways to improve functionality by adding to the “circuit” or about ways to maintain service if one of the Five needs to be replaced.

Similarly, I love how the “Proteus problem” shows how Resurrection is changing our perceptions of so many things in Krakoan society. From his introduction, Proteus has been shown as inherently dangerous because of the way that his powers damage his body - but with the Resurrection system, Proteus is just a mutant who happens to have a chronic illness that can be treated. One interesting question...why is Proteus’ “backup mutant husk” based on Charles Xavier? Charles isn’t his father, so it’s not a question of genetic compatibility.

The Mind:

Here’s where we really get into the philosophy of identity. Hickman gets really emphatic here that these are not “just clones,” because the backups include “the essence of each mutant, how they think, how they feel, their memories, their very being.”

I’m personally inclined to agree with Hickman. Even without transference of consciousness as a real thing, I don’t think a strict view of continuity of consciousness can really hold, given the fact there are plenty of breaks in said continuity - we don’t consider people who get knocked out or blackout drunk or just have a nap to no longer be the same person, so what’s the rationale for saying that any of the Strike Team aren’t the same people who they were before?

I also love how the Cerebro part of the system adds all kinds of new problems: there’s the technical complexity of scanning every mutant mind on the planet and then storing and copying that datat to “multiple redundant “cradles,” as well as new philosophical and ethical issues about what happens when you put someone’s mind in someone else’s body, etc. More on this in a bit.

Scale:

So at least at the time that this document was written, it looks like the mutant population is back to 100,000 (although how much was the Five isn’t clear), but that there are 1 million de-powered mutants (many of whom might want to use the system to regain their powers), and 16 million mutants who were murdered and whose resurrection is a key ideological drive for Krakoa.

As Hickman points out, this brings up issues of productivity and efficiency that we’re used to seeing in industrial and technological processes. The Five’s initial rate of 200 a day would take 300 years to accomplish the goal of reversing Krakoan genocide, which is way too long a timeline.

However, it turns out that there’s a mutant version of Moore’s law: the more the Five do this, the better they get at it (with a nice nod to Wolverine, so “its estimated that capabilities could possibly reach around 30,000 a week” (or 6,000 a day), bringing the timeline down to a far more manageable decade.

A final bottleneck: Charles Xavier “is not capable of” 6,000 daily downloads, and we already seen Krakoan minds thinking about “a workaraound or a team of telepaths” to supplement someone who’s also busy attending U.N meetings, Quiet Council sessions, plotting world domination, etc.

On a policy wonk side note, I was trying to figure out how Hickman worked out these numbers, and I realized that his math assumes that Krakoa has a five day work-week. As we’ll see in House of X #6, there are major open questions about what kind of economic policy (and thus, what kind of society) this new nation-state will have. Good to see that Actual 19th Century Robber Baron Sebastian Shaw isn’t getting his own way.

One particularly odd thing about Krakoan biomachinery, according to “extensive testing,” the Five don’t actually experience “exertion,” but rather a “blissful experience” of self-actualization. This suggests the psychological equivalent of a perpetual motion machine - rather than requiring more and more labor, the damn thing requires less and less and produces “total fulfillment” as a byproduct. Weird.

Another interesting side effect is that the Five have become “an inseparable family unit” who are undergoing a process of symbiosis - given all the discussion of mechanical hiveminds, it’s worth wondering whether we’re seeing a biological one forming and to what extend is individuality being maintained.

A final, slightly odd note: this Infographic describes the Five’s socio-cultural status as that of “cultural paragons” rather than “something achievable through works,” even though the Five are explicitly described as having carried out “good works.” So what gives?

Resurrection Protocol:

One last bottleneck: the whole process seems to take at least 42 and as much as 52 hours to complete. Although they can clearly work on multiple eggs in one batch, getting that figure down would no doubt be useful in further increasing productivity.

An interesting sign of the cultural/philosophical impacts of the system: Krakoan society now has “fears regarding duplication” of an explicit moral character, and thus requires an elaborate system of confirmation to bring someone back from the dead. Thus, we start to see the formation of mutant law-enforcement entities to deal with “mutant missing persons and suspected deaths and murders,” which is presumably going to be X-Factor rather than X-Force as initially believed (since X-Force turns out to be the intelligence service instead).

A Grateful Nation:

Speaking of the burdens of statecraft, the scene shifts to the aftermath of the U.N recognition vote, where it emerges that Emma Frost used her telepathy to push the Russian ambassador to abstain rather than veto, which Xavier is ok with. Krakoa is now an internationally-recognized nation-state in good standing, something that previous mutant nations never quite managed.

This gave some parts of the fandom a good deal of trouble, but let me say as someone who’s taken a couple courses in diplomatic history, this is really quite mild stuff compared to the usual run of vote selling, wiretapping, blackmail, threats of economic or military retaliation, and other kinds of skullduggery and corruption. The world of nation-states is not one of moral purity.

Also, if we’re talking about characters being in and out of character, as much as Charles Xavier has been described as an idealist when it comes to his ultimate ends, he’s always been a pragmatist when it comes to his means when it comes to psychic powers. Mental compulsion, altering or erasing memories, mind-wiping people into mental vegetables - as long as it’s for the greater good.

I’m curious what Emma Frost’s reward will be. This scene explicitly comes after she made her bargain with Xavier and Magneto for a fifty-year monopoly for the Hellfire Trading Company and three seats on the Quiet Council, so I wonder what this bonus will be.

Mutant Diplomacy Infographic:

Speaking of the moral ambiguity of international relations, we learn from this infographic that “all current mutant diplomacy...is dependent on relationships with human nations centering on their need for mutant pharmaceuticals.” On the one hand, it’s better than basing your diplomacy on military aid. On the other hand, it’s notable that Krakoa isn’t building its diplomacy on the basis of human rights or cultural exchange or other elements of “soft power,” it’s all very transactional. (It’s also not a good sign that “nations that have rejected a trade treaty with Krakoa are considered to be naturally adversarial.)

We then get a list of non-treaty nations. Some of these inclusions make sense, others are a bit puzzling, and I have some questions about why certain nations didn’t make the list.

Asia:

Why just Iran in the Middle East? OPEC should be losing their minds about the potential for Krakoan portals to undermine the value of oil. Likewise, plenty of Middle Eastern regimes might be worried about other ethnic minorities using the Krakoan precedent to redouble their own pushes for national independence. And if it’s religious ideology, why is it only a Shia issue and not a Sunni issue?

Madripoor: given where Krakoa is located, this is probably an issue of being afraid of a new power in their sphere of influence. Also, Madripoor has tended to get up to a lot of mutant-related crimes, so they’d probably be worried about this.

North Korea: this being listed as an ideological issue is a bit strange. The official state ideology of North Korea is really peculiar, even among putatively Communist regimes, so it’s hard to tell

Europe:

I imagine the E.U’s role in negotiating trade deals probably is responsible for the relative lack of European nations on the list, but I’m surprised that none of the right-wing populist governments that have sprung up in central/eastern Europe in recent years who aren’t particularly friendly to real world minorities wouldn’t have an issue with a powerful nation of mutants.

Latveria: probably because Doom is a paranoid, egomaniacal autocrat who pursues economic autarky generally. I am curious, however, about other Marvel-specific nation states - we know that Namor isn’t going to go to Krakoa, but what is Atlantis’ foreign policy on this issue? What do the Inhumans think? Etc.

Russi: as we’ve seen from House of X #1, Russia fears a new global superpower. What’s interesting is we don’t see them exerting any successful influence on Central Asian or Baltic or ex-Soviet eastern European nations.

South America:

Brazil: is this Bolsanaro's cultural conservatism at work or something else? Because...

Venezuela: is kind of on the opposite end of the spectrum from Brazil’s current government, so it would be odd to see them on the same side of this issue. The only thing I can think of is that this might be due to Chavezista anti-imperialism. Because...

Santo Marco: contrary to what Magneto said in House of X #1, mutants have not been entirely free of the sins of conquest and imperialism, and in one of his first appearances, Magneto conquered the Republic of Santo Marco and ruled it in an extremely brutal fashion. That’s the kind of thing people remember for a long time, so I’m not surprised that you see some South American countries taking a negative view of Krakoa as a result.

Terra Verde: Similarly, Terra Verde’s government was briefly overthrown by the supervillain Diablo, and although mutants were not involved, they may be generally wary of superpower-led nation states.

Central America:

Honduras: it’s not that I think it’s implausible, but what makes Honduras different from other Central American countries on this issue?

Africa:

This is where we get a potentially really juicy plot hook. As late as X-Men Red, Wakanda has been generally positive towards mutants, especially since not only does T’challa have a personal relationship with Storm, but in the current run of Black Panther, Storm has been popularly worshipped as Hadari Yao, the Walker of Clouds.

Given that Wakanda is seen as a threat because “they do not need mutant drugs,” this may be a case of Krakoan/Moira’s paranoia that Wakanda’s advanced technology and self-sufficiency might mean that the post-human revolution might start there.

At the same time, the fact that the rest of the “Wakandan economic protectorate” also reject a trade treaty might suggest that we’re just seeing a simple story of nation-state competition for spheres of influence.

Krakoa Is For All Mutants:

In a very straight-forward example of X-Men dissenting from Xavier’s plan, we see Wolverine - who’s about to take up a significant post in Krakoa’s national security infrastructure - has a big enough problem with the amnesty program that he mentions wanting to beat “Chuck” to death for general smugness and condescension.

A whole bunch of supervillains cross-over, but while some of them will become significant as members of the Quiet Council or Captains, Apocalypse is framed as the most significant one, because he’s the only one with a pre-existing connection to Krakoa

Indeed, he goes full Disney Princess on page 27 because Krakoa “knows me, and I Krakoa,” which might be a big problem later on if Krakoan’s earlier and deeper connections to Apocalypse come into conflict with its more recent alliances with Cypher and Xavier.

At the same time, at least for the moment Apocalypse is the most ideologically on board with Xavier’s broader project, seeing it as the culmination of his life’s work.

Thus, he’s happy to say the words: “we submit to the laws of this land, be what they may, and acknowledge from this day forward, we all serve a higher purpose than want or need. One people from this day forward.” It’s an oath of citizenship, but it also speaks to the conditionality of the amnesty. And there are penalties for breaking it.

#xmen #xmen meta #house of x

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segadores-y-soldados · 6 years

Text

@pastels-bunnies-guts:

I love your theories btw, Many of the details you show I would have never noticed on my own! Anyway on to my question, so do we have any what Reapers 'condition' is? How much of his abilities come from Moira's experiments and how much come from himself? Did they start from birth or in the SEP? I'm actually not asking you to answer some of these questions because that's a lot, I just wanted to give you them to think about. Personally, I think maybe Reyes had some form of cancer? I'm out of words

---

(I’m answering this as a full post because I hate the limited functionality in the Ask format)

TL;DR: Basically, Gabriel’s condition is on-going and changes over time. It is caused by three main things: SEP’s modifications to his genes and phenotypic expressions; Moira’s “experiments” on him (and possibly her search for a cure - legitimate or not); and the Swiss Base explosion. His “symptoms” are his lifedraining ability, his wraith abilities, and his inability to age correctly.

Super long answer is here: “Long Reasons Not to Trust Moira in Retribution”

Summary is below:

(There IS a “read more” link)

There are two twitter answers from Michael Chu which act as our baseline for this discussion:

The first one:

User: You missed an important one there - What about Reaper? Can he even still be considered alive in his state? Michael Chu: That’s a good question. ;)

(Source)

And the second one:

(Source)

The second one is specifically talking about the wording on Reaper’s Hero Profile which says:

The twitter conversation is talking about this line: “[Reaper] has fought in many armed conflicts in the last decades, showing no loyalty to any cause or organization.”

Michael’s response shows that the wording about “decades” is deliberate. This means that parts of Gabriel’s “condition” are at least 20+ years old.

However, Reaper’s Hero Profile also says:

“It is possible that he is a byproduct of failed genetic alteration which forces his cells to simultaneously decay and regenerate at a hyper-accelerated rate.”

So basically, we need to look at the factors which can influence his abilities on genetic, transgenic, and epigenetic levels.

When Moira was released, everyone immediately assumed that she was the biggest factor in “creating Gabriel’s Reaper condition”, which is exactly what her Origin video was tailored to make the audience believe:

However, at the Moira reveal panel, Michael Chu said something that implied a very different story:

Moira Blizzcon 2017 Panel: transcript

> Quote: “She was recruited by Gabriel Reyes to be a member of Blackwatch. And uh, during that time she had relationships with the Blackwatch crew - McCree, Genji - they all have their own sort of likes and dislikes for each other. Reyes wanted someone could help advise him on, uh, some matters of genetics that he was, uh, interested in, shall we say.” - Michael Chu

When the Oasis map was updated that day, one of the things found in Moira’s Genetics lab was this:

This implied that some parts of Gabriel’s condition had been caused by the Soldier Enhancement Program:

(Source: Soldier: 76 Hero Profile)

When “Retribution” came around, this was also semi-confirmed by two things:

Gabriel’s “Soldier: 24″ skin, which showed a number of tubes injecting things into his arms (and possibly his chest).

Two:

That even through the comic and the playable event of Retribution - no one was surprised by Gabriel wraithing around.

Not McCree, not Genji, not Moira -

And honestly? Not Jack, Ana, or Gérard either.

It is also important that characters like Moira and the Talon Snipers are able to use “Wraith” and/or Lifedrain without any known side effects. This means that whatever controls the abilities at the core genetic and transgenic level can be reproduced artificially.

This all points to SEP.

The hypothesis: SEP injected Gabriel with trangenic modifications that allowed him to “steal life” from other beings (lifedrain/The Reapening) and “dematerialize and rematerialize at will” (Wraith/Shadow Step). These abilities made him extremely hard to kill, and allowed him to fight on-par with Bastions, OR14s, and other Omnic units.

However, no one knew what the “long term” effects of these abilities would be.

And by the time of Moira’s recruitment, it has become clear that these abilities are somehow impacting Gabriel’s life.

For example, here’s Reinhardt.

Here’s Ana.

And here’s Gabriel.

This brings us back to the first tweet by Michael: was Gabriel aging properly? Is he even medically “alive” anymore?

I don’t know. And I don’t know if Blizzard will ever 100% define what his “condition” is, but it does seem that parts of Gabriel’s health were aging and/or deteriorating, while other parts where actually improving. His outward appearance ages significantly less than Rein, Torb, Ana, or Jack.

But “internally”, we have no idea exactly what was going on with him.

But here’s what we know:

SEP modified Gabriel on a genetic level, which then manifested/activated on a phenotypic level. These abilities likely included lifedrain and dematerializing/rematerializing. While these abilities are superhuman, the original Strike Team gets used to them, as do select members of Blackwatch.

By the time Gabriel is 50 (Retribution) he has enlisted the help of an unethical geneticist to help “cure” the deteriorating parts of his SEP condition.

How do we know Gabriel wanted Moira to cure him?

First off, the easy part:

Her paper is literally called “Repairing Degenerative Genetic Structures.”

Next, we know from Nesskain - the artist of Moira’s Origin Video - that Gabriel was “scared” during Moira’s trials on him:

(Source)

This implies that Gabriel was afraid of what was happening to him - he did not recruit Moira to make him “Reaper.”

He recruited Moira to “unmake him” Reaper.

However, we know Moira had her own ambitions and plans for Gabriel - and for Blackwatch:

We also know that whatever Moira was doing to him, she expected it to have an impact on Gabriel’s SEP condition:

Moira: How are you feeling, Commander? Gabriel: Fine, no ill effects so far. Moira: Let me know if that changes.

---

Gabriel: Am I the only one who feels hungry? Moira: That could be an unforeseen side effect… Gabriel: …I was making a joke.

(source)

So in Retribution, Gabriel’s condition can be summarized as: “SEP abilities + Moira’s experiments”.

But that’s still not quite enough to make him “full” Reaper.

Personally, I think Gabriel is lying to Ana in these panels. He’s not telling her the truth.

However, what’s important here is that Ana has no idea what made this man:

become this:

Which means that between Ana’s “death” and Recall, there is at least one additional thing that happens to Gabriel.

And the only real “event” between Ana’s “death” and Recall that Ana specifically missed was:

The explosion of the Swiss Base.

When Reaper respawns, one of his potential lines is: “This is my curse.”

It implies that he is unable to die.

So: SEP condition = “hard to kill” but able to be wounded.

But SEP condition + Moira’s experiments + explosion = effectively immortal

Reaper is able to fight one on one with Winston and avoid both dying and being captured, which is not something even Doomfist can do. Reaper can also 1v1 a new Volskaya mech and still walk away from the fight unharmed.

It’s interesting, because Reaper consistently calls himself “Death”, and while this is probably just for show, it seems very likely that Gabriel has somehow become elevated past death, mortality, and human life expectancies.

This aligns with why Moira is so interested in his condition:

“We stand on the brink of a breakthrough in human evolution. I have dedicated my life to unraveling its secrets. I take risks that others would consider to be ‘unwise,’ for I do not share their caution.”

- Moira (source)

I don’t necessarily think Moira wants to become immortal herself - I think she just really likes the challenge of “defying death” and elevating humanity into a new stage of existence. This also aligns with Doomfist, and his belief that conflict makes humanity stronger. Both Moira and Doomfist want the same thing - to see humanity “reach its true potential” - but they use slightly different methods to get there, and the two methods are not mutually exclusive. Moira wants to use unethical, unchecked scientific experiments to get there, and Doomfist wants to use a war.

Interestingly, another character might be very close to achieving Reaper’s “elevated” status:

Post: “The Immortal Soldier?”

If Reaper’s “equation” for possible immortality is: SEP + Moira + explosion

Soldier: 76 is actually very close to that:

Jack has been through SEP, and he has also been through the explosion.

The part that Jack is missing is:

On a more personal note:

I wouldn’t...hold out hope for Blizzard to “confirm” anything more concrete than this. They’ve already effectively implied what they have wanted to imply, and while I know people aren’t satisfied with this answer, the truth is that “SEP + Moira + explosion” pretty neatly ties up all the major “factors” that make Reaper “Reaper”. The theory accounts for his Hero Profile, Michael Chu’s statements, Moira’s role in Blackwatch and her betrayal, and the explosion. It gives Gabriel an “easy” way to start working with Talon (thought personally I think he also wants to bring Talon down), and it also gives him a very human, very empthatic motivation (aside from the revenge part): he simply wants to “get better” from the condition that has plagued him his entire life. His condition makes him more emotionally complex, and moves his plot from “Why did Gabriel join Talon when he hates them?” to:

“What is more important to Gabriel: finding a cure for his condition, or stopping Talon?”

#long post #reaper #gabriel reyes #moira #moira o'deorain #soldier: 76 #jack morrison #overwatch #overwatch lore #overwatch theory #replies #reply #answer

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kmp78 · 6 years

Text

I came, I saw, I (little bit) konquered 💪

First of all: apologies for this mega massive post! 😂

But I wanted to fit everything in one, so that´s the way it has to be!

Big thanks to lovely Stockholm for being a very gracious host and taking such good care of this world-weary traveler! Let´s start off with some general sights before getting down to the nasty business of Mars!

I have to say that seeing those posters for the 1st time in the flesh made me quite giddy indeed...

BUT NOW! On to the main event...

The M&G took place a few hours before the show, and arrangements were top grade, gotta give props when props are due!

These two ladies were really lovely and seemed like PROS at what they do and yet POLITE towards us even tho this was probably the 3000th M&G they were handling. I have no complaints!

We were escorted to a small meeting room type of area right next door to the stage area, and at first I figured I wasn´t even gonna bother fighting the hoards for the 1st row seats, but then I heard Reni saying there was one spot left - and I leaped into action.

At the M&G room Reni explained the rules and game plan for the evening. No personal/private questions, no simple yes/no questions, no groping during the pics, no running to the concert area (there were near-catastrophic incidents in Prague some days ago, some girls ran like cray and tripped and fell and created a domino effect and it was a mess...) and so on. 🙄

Reni asked us who has listened to the album (most raised their hands) and who has not listened to the album (me and few others raised ours... Hihi...), and what people´s fave songs were.

Then we got back to talking about the potential questions again, and she encouraged people to ask about the new album (*COUGH* REMEMBER THIS LATER AS YOU READ ON *COUGH*), or if you want advice etc.

Not that I cared much anyway, but seeing as she did not seem to touch upon “that topic” at all, I decided to try my luck and asked:

“What about the “elephant in the room”?” 🐘

The room fell silent and there were some dramatic “Oooooooh´s” coming from my fellow VIP peeps.

Reni´s face went serious and she quietly said “No”, as was fully expected.

I pressed on.

“How come?”

Reni: “Because we would rather... It´s a personal matter. Of the band.”

Me: “So we´re never gonna get any explanation?”

Reni: “It´s a personal matter... And until he doesn´t decide... It´s not in our...”

And that was it! That´s the explanation I managed to squeeze out! Sorry, guys! I tried, but... 😞

I´m totally not the only one who reads that to mean that IT WAS TOMO´S OWN DECISION TO WALK AND IT´LL BE HIS DECISION IF/WHEN HE COMES BACK, right?! And that the band has no say in it, and they have no clue if and when the situation gets resolved?! Right?!

UGH! 😠

Then Reni went on to explain that if someone was there specifically to meet TM, they could get a refund but they would have to leave immediately.

Total bs “offer” because there ain´t NO ONE coming to these things just to meet TM, but whatever... I did contemplate if I should ask for a partial refund because I only got partial Mars, but chose to let it slide. Not even worth it.

One guy in the audience commented “Good question”, so I guess I wasn´t alone with my queries! It may have been Gustavo, I dunno.

Before the band came in, people kept busy by asking the crew a few questions.

And at this point I would like to offer a MEA CULPA and sincere apologies to the person/persons who I battled with some weeks ago when Reni´s home land was a topic. See, as luck would have it, one of the VIPs asked the staff where they were from, and Reni said “I´M ORIGINALLY FROM MEXICO”, so yeah... Haha! I giggled quite a lot... Sorry, anon/anons! I was indeed wrong! Shayla said she´s from NYC, Inaki also from Mexico and Diana (I think that was her name...?) from Brazil.

Shayla mentioned that she is kinda jetlagged. Reni said she´s usually pretty good with it.

Then they plugged Camp Mars (a few people had no idea what Camp Mars even is...) and lured us to buy with big promises of hangings with the band during the most magical weekend of the year.

“The band is also there all day.”

Reni also inquired if people would be interested in attending Camp if they by some miracle happened to arrange it in Europe. Most people were eager, no surprises there.

Someone asked if Camp could be arranged earlier in the summer, and Reni said no because the Malibu Camp site is occupado until August.

Another one asked if Camp is getting bigger, to which Reni replied that “It´s getting better. I would not say it´s getting bigger because the number of people for the past 2 times has been exactly the same, which is 200.”

So there we have it. An official number.

Well, as official as these people are ever gonna admit, anyway... 🤷

Then we voted for our fave songs from the new album. “GWO” won.

(I voted Tabasco. 🤗)

Someone wanted to know if they were gonna play “GWO”, and Shayla said nope because they have not rehearsed it.

Of course not! 🤷

Then we swiftly moved on to the “Kumbaya” moment of the evening where Reni asked if someone knows how to sing, and some dude said yeah, so he came up front and started singing WoW.

Now this is just my opinion, but sitting there listening to an almost Sunday church-like hysterical pathos... Worshipers partying and yelling out the lyrics as if God himself was within hearing distance...

I did not know I needed that in my life. 😱

Then Reni we needed to “make some noise so they´ll come faster”.

Is... is that what VK does too? 🤔

I dunno, but we did.

It did not help. 😴

To kill even more time, we did the obligatory “Where is everyone from?” round. I stayed silent. Surprisingly it seemed like almost half of the peeps were non-Swedes! The woman next to me was also from Finland. Wooooop!

Someone asked if the band is gonna do festivals, and Reni listed some upcoming dates. I don´t know why people don´t GO ONLINE to find out this stuff, but... 🤷

The crew also mentioned they have days off on occasion, Helsinki was mentioned as one of their days off, which kinda maybe means that the band will be arriving tomorrow and hanging for a whole day before the gig on Wednesday... Uuuuuuh!

Then all of a sudden...

DOORS FLUNG OPEN AND ANGELS SANG PRAISES! 🎺

Well no, it was just echies screaming and clapping. 🙏

JL and SL sneaked in from the stage area and the masses of course went bananas.

I still sat in silence and watched. 👀

The bros had a table and chairs, but never sat down. Instead they stood and placed one foot ON THE CHAIR, as all civilized peeps do.

JL asked if anyone was at the previous gig, and mentioned that it has been a really small show, but this one would be the smallest (arena holds max 3500 people). Last night apparently was “INCREDIBLE”, one of the better shows on the tour.

For some reason (pffft...) he spotted some German chicks who I guess were twins or smthg, I wasn´t really paying attention. Anyway, he mentioned “We always need more twins in our lives”.

Echies naturally giggled because OMGGGGGGGG HILAAAARIOUS, and JL went on to explain that “Hey our grandfather had a twin”.

SL quipped that maybe he or JL will have twins, and JL mentioned that he and JR argued about the twin gene skipping a generation or smthg like that. 🙄🙄

Then he spotted some chick in the front row who had big muscles (no she did not btw) and asked her if she´s a trainer or smthg. JL mentioned that he just recently started working out again so he keeps looking at muscles.

Uh huh. 🙄🙄🙄

On/off SL gave looks around the room, and I got some too. He did not smile, not even a crack. Meh.

THEN IT WAS FINALLY Q AND A TIME!!! 🙏 😈

Some dude asked how hard it is to get a workout on the road.

SL said the recovery is the most challenging part. I guess he meant recovery from the shows.

JL says the 2 hours on stage are the hardest, and then the rest of the time should be spent by doing nothing.

That last part might be more familiar to some in the band than others... 🤔

Some woman from Ohio, USA was picked and I guess she yammered on about herself a bit too long because JL interrupted her speech with a very stern “QUESTION!” (we all know that tone... Hihi!), and she asked if there were any “Aha!” moments when making the album.

I suppose she did not mean “Aha! We totes should wrap this whole shit in Americana even tho it has fuck all to do with it!”...

SL said the 1st thing that comes to mind is “Rescue Me”. Apparently they´ve had that song for 10 years and have had people help them work on it (WHOOOO?!), and the last person they worked on it with caused them to have an “Aha!” moment when they realized they were actually going to finish it.

I´m sure we all share that amazement...

JL said he remembered sitting down during TIW in his home in Fredonia (his old home) with a synthesizer and the verse and the chorus are still the same. Lyrics have changed. The chorus used to just be “Rescue me, rescue me” without anything else, and 5 years later he was sitting on a plane and the current chorus started forming in his head. The song used to have a “pre-chorus” too. “He said” or “She said” (I could not make out which, or maybe both) before the main chorus.

He said the lesson in that is to never give up because you never know what can happen. Sometimes songs happen quickly, like “A Modern Myth” which he said he wrote in 5 minutes, and SL wrote “Remedy” fairly quickly. Finishing songs usually takes him longer than coming up with a song.

Next guy asked about creative differences between Album 1 and Album 5.

JL said you can still hear the same band on both albums.

(GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BAND MEMBERS, MAYBE... 🙄)

He listed all the elements the new album features. He said he thinks a song like “Echelon” could totally be on the new album.

Next up a woman who said she was studying to be in the music business asked what she could do to make sure no other artist has to deal with what Mars had to deal with (lawsuit etc.).

JL´s advise: Don´t sign a record deal unless you absolutely have to. Spread your music via social media and other platforms.

(I know he was talking about EMI specifically, but I could not help thinking there might have been some Interscope crumbs in there too...)

The woman clarified that she meant more from the music label/business side and not the artist side. Jl responded “Go work for Spotify”. He went on to say that record companies and people can be great too, but the deals are the problem. They should be transparent and available online. It´s the last kind of “gangsta business” where you can really take advantage of people.

Some dude mentioned that he saw Mars 11 years ago when they opened for Linkin Park in Europe. JL remembered that tour, SL did not.

I guess he asked what it feels like to go from there to here (I wasn´t really listening because meeeeeh), and SL tried to come up with smthg intellectual and deep but it just sounded so ridiculously pathetic it´s not even worth mentioning. Smthg about just living and maturing and evolving as human beings. 💤

He also said they are really fortunate to still be together as a band (*SNORT*) because lots of bands from back then don´t exist anymore.

JL said this feels like a new and fresh chapter. Like his inner child. Like a reboot. Like they just got a facelift (HOLD YOUR LAUGHS, PLEASE). The new songs live are apparently “pretty INCREDIBLE”.

“I know some people are like “Where´s the guitar?” and “Where the heavy music?” but I think it´s still pure 30 StM.”

He also called the new album very dark and “lyrically on point”.

His point might be somewhere waaaaaay off the playing field tho, but...

Some chick with pink hair was up next and JL said he was gonna dye his hair pink but now he can´t.

SL said dyeing wrecks your hair and JL said his hair can´t take another bleaching.

And yes, you guessed it, folks. Fangirl giggles and swoons galore!

Her actual question was about Mars music feeling ancient or smthg, again I was totally not even paying attention because I DON´T CAAAAARE. Sorry but these questions were fucking USELESS. 👎

Anyway, SL blabbered on about them being from an “old place”. JL said everyone has missed the point that they made the album by using modern American sounds like Hip Hop and Pop etc. and that WoW is a giant political FUCK YOU.

Except not too long ago he gave that interview to a Finnish journo and specifically banned political questions, but okay... 👌

He said it´s exciting to see people from different countries singing that song with so much passion that sometimes he almost feels like they need to escape through the back door (he was kidding).

Next that same guy who sang during the pre-M&G stood up and congratulated the band on the new album. JL in return congratulated the guy on his hair (= a poofed up semi-mullet kinda thing) and they chatted a bit about his hair. Soooo riveting... 😫

The dude said one of his fave songs is “Convergence” and he asked about spirituality or smthg. Again, not interested...

JL said the last album was only 7 songs and the rest were fillers (well he didn´t say fillers but I´m saying it), and this new one is 11 songs and only 1 filler.

While JL was still yammering on his response to the mullet dude, I made my move and raised my hand HIIIIIGH - and when he finally finished his looooong sermon JL turned my way and...

Oh uh! It's Go time! 😱

⚠️ Little background info first! ⚠️

I obviously had thought of a few questions before coming to the M&G, just to prepare for the off-chance an opportunity might present itself. My options ranged from "Why did you call us Screaming Fat Girls?" to "Why did I have to pay 400 for this when 20 yo models get it for free?" and beyond. Yes I even toyed with the idea of sneakily slipping VK into the mix... 🙃

But sitting there as the M&G went on and listening to the other questions and studying the room's vibe, I started feeling my questions were all... wrong. They started feeling like I would just be purposely asking for trouble and causing a stink and potentially ruining the event, which was not my intention at all.

I started feeling like I needed to ask smthg current, smthg that has relevance in this day and age, smthg that hopefully gave us some answers to the questions we have been pondering about on the blog, smthg that would make you peeps proud, smthg that would not be a waste of a question - and yes, smthg that maybe poked a little hole into his massive ego at the same time! 🤔

So with all that criteria in mind, I went into battle...

Me: "Hi, speaking of the album, have you read or heard the reviews? Because some of them were... not very kind...?

JL: "This newest album?"

(NO DUMMY I WANNA KNOW IF YOU READ THE REVIEWS FOR THE ALBUM YOU RELEASED IN 2002!!! 🙄🤦‍♀️)

Me: "Yeah."

JL, staring right at me, with the snarkiest and bitchiest voice and most passivest aggressivest demeanor:

"Well thanks for bringing that up."

😱😱😱

His reaction both in words and in vibe (and the reaction from the room aka loud gasps, few hisses and cheers after he "lashed out" at me) was worth all the money I paid for that M&G, I don't even mind telling you!

SL also chimed in with “Yeah, thanks for bringing that up” but at that moment I was so focused on JL´s face that I completely ignored SL´s whining and existence - not to mention that every single molecule inside me screamed “HALLELUJAAAAAAAAH!”

So yeah basically I just sat there going...

While he stared at me throughout that little exchange, he most def could sense the snark in my question, and I most def could sense the snark in his reply. Naaaw... Just a couple of petty snarks sharing a moment... 🤣🙊😍

#BucketList ✔

I guess that is what an orgasm of the mind feels like. ☺

And btw...

"Thanks for bringing that up"?

Honey, with the amount of shit we have on you, you should be very #Grateful I only brought THAT up! 🤨

Anyway, the room kinda “erupted” with little gasps and hollers and whatnot, and after that initial "explosion" SL took over and started "grilling me" about my choice of question.

"That's your question? You wanna know if we read and what´s our response to the bad reviews?"

I replied “Yeah, I wanna know”.

SL said he had not read any.

Okay, but... Why did you just jump on my throat about that topic then...?

He continued that everyone has opinions and tastes and attitudes and personalities and colors (???) and stuff... He said he can´t pay attention to it, he can only focus on what he did and the band did, and he feels great about it. He said he is secure in himself and his “bro”, as he called JL.

Then JL took over and in a very explanatory manner (calm voice this time) said that these days everyone is a critic. He said on social media any person´s opinion is as important as a reviewer´s. He also said he thinks a lot of the criticism revolves around the “Where is the rock?” argument, and that they are probably right.

“It´s not a rock album.”

Followed by a LOOOOONG silence.

A silence which was only interrupted by SL going “Well, there you go!” in a triumphant manner. Echies of course applauded, and then suddenly JL picked up again:

“Don´t be fooled, we knew EXACTLY what we were doing. But let me just tell you something: we have NEVER gotten good reviews. Even when we made rock albums. So... Nothing really changes...”

At this point it again felt like he was getting ready to move on, but NO! He still kept going!

“I have a feeling lot of it has to do with me...”

That Gustavo dude piped up with “Jealousy...”, but JL ignored that comment and continued:

“It just has to do with me being in the band... I don´t think people wanna let that slide...”

SL commented “Fucking weird...” and then after a short silence went “Great” in the most “NON GREAT” way imaginable. Kinda like when you spill juice all over yourself and go “Great”.

So with that “NON GREAT” “GREAT”, this topic was now finished and my time in the spotlight was over.

I will point out that while pretty much everyone who asked a question before me got a “Thanks for the question” comment, I did not...

😭😭😭

BEFORE WE MOVE ON - QUICK ANALYSIS ON MY Q AND HIS A:

I think what we learned here are 3 things:

1. Poor SL really thinks he contributed to this album and has reason to be proud. 🤷‍♀️

2. JL is indeed VERY aware of the bad reviews and backlash his latest offering brought him. 😭

3. JL is also aware of the "bad rep" he has. Not just for the "Oh he's an actor trying to be a singer" thing which he has battled since Day 1 (which I'm sure he was mostly alluding to), but also that currently (= after SS) he gets ridiculed and judged on a whole new level.

I mean, the way he almost dragged the topic on and felt like he had to add “just one more thing”... Kinda felt like he was trying to convince not just us but himself as well... 🤨

Anyway, feel free to send feedback and thoughts on this! Did I do good?! 😜

Okay back to the M&G!

The next person asked what would they say to their younger selves.

JL wouldn’t wanna say anything because “We’re in a pretty good place right now in life and career… I guess I’d say "Take a deep breath… It’s gonna be alright. Don’t pay attention to the reviews.”“

Ooooooh... Still feeling butt-hurt from the previous Q, are we… ? 😏🤭

The next Q was asked with such a heavy-accented English I had NO IDEA what he asked, but apparently JL did because he managed an answer. It was smthg about the Mars symbols (the triad). 🤷🏼‍♀️

The next chick started off my saying "I just wanna say I love you and adore you” and I almost yelped out “MR. KAUFMAN IS ALREADY TAKEN!” but managed to keep my emotions in check.

Her question was a pretty good one: “Why did you come up with the name "Monolith” for the tour", she said she (like all of us!) did not get it.

JL said the name comes from the giant screen on stage and the giant box thing as well, which of course for this tour they could not fit through the doors.

Next question was “Why did you call the album "America” when it talks about universal issues?“

JL: "I think the idea of America is universal (FUCK OFF ALREADY DICK IT SO IS NOT) and everyone has an opinion (WANNA KNOW MINE?) and the songs are universal. I think what’s going on in our country is probably going on in other countries. I don’t think we’re the only country thinking about things like immigration, the right and the left, what kind of a world we want to live in, what kind of a future we want. I just thought it was an interesting time and an interesting word. It really isn’t political title, it’s more of a concept (🙄🙄🙄), that’s why I liked all the lists that we came up with because they were so bizarre and funny and provocative. They do give you a sense of the time we’re living in.”

He went on to say that in 100 years people will be able to look at them and go “Oh, that was that crazy group if people that was alive between this time and that time and that fucking guy was president in America!”

Oh my! Look who’s getting all feisty again! Dare you to say that publicly tho!

During this question the noise from the soundcheck taking place in the next room went up a few notches and Stevie´s high-pitched screams almost overpowered the Letos... They made some jokes about SA´s screams. 😂

And of course he kept with the “The name “America” inspired the film that we made that´s coming out later this year, the trip across the country... Did anybody follow it on social media? (I MAY HAVE...) The Museum of America in LA and many other things that we´ve done. I dunno, I just thought it was an interesting container.”

In relation to the previous question, JL also mentioned that he had an alternative title for "America" which he admitted (?) he sometimes thinks he should have used:

“ERA”.

As in this era we are now living in.

YOU GOD DAMN DILL!!!!! THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN 40 GAZILLION TIMES BETTER THAN "AMERICA"!!!!!

🤬🤬🤬

I seriously almost screamed out loud when he said that... I can't even deal with him! 😠

He said that title would have been “a little more global but a little more boring”.

NO, DILL! YOU AND YOUR BEDWARMERS ARE GLOBAL AND BORING! THAT TITLE WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT!

😠

The last question came from a woman next to me (fellow Finn btw! 😃🇫🇮) who told us that she's a teacher and she asked what inspires them etc.

JL said that “sometimes I´m not inspired” (REALLY? Never would have guessed...) and that “at that point you just have to rely on muscle memory and to just put one foot in front of the other and keep marching forward... Someone asks a question you don´t like (WHO?! WHO ASKED A QUESTION YOU DID NOT LIKE?! 🙊), you deal with it... You have to do some part of your job that´s tedious (like... the actual working part?), you push past it... I think a lot of times it´s just showing up... You can surprise yourself. You start a conversation, you start a concert, and before you know it you´re lost in the concert and you´re enjoying your time.”

SL said what helps is “getting rid of the fucking trash in the head. If I feel distracted or there´s a lot of stuff going on in my head that doesn´t have anything to do with what I wanna do, I have to get rid of it. Meditation helps, hanging out with cool people (LOOOOOOOOL), yoga, taking a walk...”

And that was it! Show over! JL thanked us for coming and then...

Picture time! 📷

We lined up in the hallway and practically RAN through the stage they had set up for the pic.

Seriously it was RIDICULOUS! Felt even faster and more North Korean than in Getafe! We all legit had no more than 2 seconds to pose and then we were pushed out! 😑

Total bs. No other way to put it. Treated like actual cattle. 🐄

Anyway, I had a plan ready again and as I stepped up to SL who kinda "yanked me" between him and JL (not in a bad way but just kinda like "let's just get this over with FAST"), I said to them:

"Okay guys, let's smile like I'm a model."

🤭🤭🤭

Now, I don't know if they heard me or bothered listening (or in "someone's" case even understood what I was hinting at), but it def made me feel giggly... 😜

Anyway, end result is this:

I think JL may have gotten what I was implying, or perhaps he was still salty about my earlier question, but he def pushed my back to get me to leave the area after the pic. 🤷🏼‍♀️👉🚪

Altho he probs does that to everyone, especially those who are not 20-smthg Russian models, but… Oh well. Kinda made me smirk even more! 🤣

Or perhaps it was my shirt which ruffled his feathers? 🤔

Wanna see a close-up?

BOOM.

Tell you this much: online T-shirt printing businesses and 20€ sure provide a lot of satisfaction. 😏👕💳

And even tho I once again got only 20 Secs (Jfc… 😂), I still managed to sneak TM into my pic, sooo… 😎💁🏼‍♀️

More closeups:

Thanks GOD he looks more than decent in mine!

And c´mon now, Jarry. I think we all know you can go bigger than that.

Jaw seems to work a-ok...

And yes, I watermarked them because that´s how I roll, homies!

After the pics we were given our VIP merch: black beanie (not bad! I might actually wear that…), plastic badge (who the fuck needs these?!), a canvas tote bag (meh ok) and a signed poster.

TRY TELLING ME BOTH THOSE SIGNATURES ARE NOT FROM THE SAME DAMN ALMOST-WORN-OUT PEN… 😂😒🖋

We were also allowed to stay in the M&G room and check out the official merch stand (pffffft! Did not buy a fucking thing as everything looked so uggo).

This tho...

After about an hour of waiting, we were finally led into the actual concert area. As some of you saw from my IG posts, this was not a regular MonolOth tour gig, but more a club gig. The set was completely different, no monolOth anywhere, and stage was not in the middle of the room.

I noticed there was a balcony area too and I marched up to a security guy to ask if it was ok to go up. He said yeah but only 100 people are allowed up so I needed a special ticket, which he then handed me and told me I needed to give it back if/when I came down again so someone else could use my place up there. Very smart security move!

Being as tiny as I am and as claustrophobic as I am, I knew standing in a sea of people and not even seeing a fucking thing was not a viable option, so I chose to wander up to the balcony - and oh man, that was the best decision I could have made! I scored a prime spot right up front and had full “skyview” of the whole room! Lucky move also because without the balcony spot, that IG Live would have been quite difficult to pull off…😏😄

JR’s DJ set was about as useful as sledgehammer when washing windows, so there’s no need to even discuss it. Literally maybe 7 people actually listened and cheered him. 😴

At around 8:40 pm the lights FINALLY dimmed and the show started.

Now, seeing as I did an IG Live for the whole show which means I did not take any pics or clips (I´ll try posting some of the clips I saved from the IG Live a little later on tho), I’m going to utilize a few fellow concert goers offerings here for vibe and atmosphere reasons! 😉

And of course we can NEVER forget the true star of the night...

A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 24, 2018 at 1:18am PDT

A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 22, 2018 at 1:11pm PDT

NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES. OR SHIRTS. 🤣 🕺

As far as overall grade for the show goes…

Well, the people who came on my Live on/off and witnessed the gig with me can probably kinda agree that… eh… It wasn’t very awesomely great. 😣

The stage looked stupid with just SL’s drums, SA was once again shoved to the side where we could barely see him (but could hear him plenty!), the sound overall was kinda off (or maybe it was because of my location, but the drums sounded REALLY loud at times, almost drowned out rest of the instruments. Altho… what instruments? 🤔)…

But the biggest problem of all: Jared’s voice.

It’s fucking DESTROYED, guys. GONE.

Yes on some songs he sounded ok, even quite good on occasion. But overall, he cannot do a full show like a proper rock singer should.

And true to form, he skipped out on a lot of the lyrics (either he let SA sing, or the audience had to sing), and when he did sing (“sing”) he sounded BAD. Multiple times extremely off key and basically just shouted/screamed his way through the songs. There is no way on earth that anyone with ears could claim he sounded good!

Sheep would try no doubt, but lemme tell ya: Lies! Lies, lies, lies!

I think the only song which sounded at least half decent was “Stay”. It’s not a very challenging song anyway, so that one he still manages ok. Everything else… uh. 🙉

youtube

But it is what it is, I guess... Can´t turn back the clock and undo years of damage!

And that yelling is not helping what little he has left...

youtube

I did enjoy JL calling me and my fellow upstairs residents “BALCONY MONKEY MOTHERFUCKERS” tho. 🐒

Been called worse before! HA! 😂

Overall I would say that had I not had the IG Live peeps keeping me company throughout the show, I would have been majorly bored. There really was nothing even remotely interesting happening on stage (not counting Naked Dancing Dude!), and traveling across an actual ocean just for that show...

Not really worth it, gotta say.

If someone asks me if I would recommend buying a ticket, I would have to say no - based on the actual show, I mean. it just really does not offer any great “WOW” moments.

But on a personal level and by taking into account the WHOLE experience, counting the entire weekend etc., I will rank this as one of my better vacays for sure! And a big part of that is thanks to ALL YOU who joined and shared it with me, so THANK YOU! 💗

Report over and out!

#30 Seconds To Mars #sweden #yeehaw #jared leto #shannon leto #duo #i like bringing things up #you should know that by now

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jaylos · 7 years

Text

i hated descendants 2 and here's why

a collection of reasons why i am utterly disappointed in this sequel.

warnings: there will be swearing and negative commentary about these ships: Mal/Ben, Evie/Doug, Carlos/Jane. (so basically all the canon pairings lmao)

buckle up this is gonna be long and salty. (also spoilers, duh) (and i take artistic liberty in the capitalization of words and i like to be dramatic)

also check out other rant posts i made bc they kinda tie in with all of this (reading not required in order to understand it tho): magic ban Rise of the Isle of the Lost my thoughts during my first time watching it Bal

1. Characters

Ok i need to go back to d1 for a second: they already did a bad job on introducing the characters to us there. For exapmle: Carlos and technology. He does that thing where he locates the museum or when he turns off the alarm, but without the first book (the isle of the lost) the fact that he is supposedly a tech genius would've flown over everyone's heads. And this is the problem: the movie(s) rely on spin-off media (the books, wicked world) to explain the characters to us. A movie shouldn't have to do that in the first place, but what makes it worse is that the books and the webseries are inconsistent like no tomorrow and also contradict each other on several occasions. Now that wouldn't be so bad if the movies were enough to solidify the characters, but they're not. They also try to patch up plot holes in the books so they don't have to deal with it in the movies. But someone who hasn't read them might wonder how the pirate crew got their ship, and they're offered no explanation in the movie whatsoever. (i'm pretty sure this could've been avoided with a few tweaks to the script tho??)

What I think happened here is that they simply had too many characters and so basically all of them fell flat because they didn't have time to explore them properly. And what did they do in d2? they dragged that problem with them, introduced more characters who's arcs they could half-ass and got rid of what little personality the original characters had.

We don't actually know shit about them. What are their hobbies? What are their interpersonal dynamics like? What are their struggles in Auradon after a life of abuse and neglect? (i'm convinced that that last one can absolutely be dealt with in a child-friendly manner, but instead they brushed it off almost completely. I say almost because we got a few tidbits here and there but those were about as deep as a puddle on a sidewalk)

1.a. Jay

Why is he depicted as a main character when he has less lines & relevance to the plot than Jane? Even the gotdam dog had some purpose. wouldn't change a thing if Jay wasn't there at all.

l i s ten i love Jay for the character that i made him out to be in my head and through some of the things the fandom has contributed but in canon he is redundant as all fuck.

Also i'm not gonna go into the outfits in this rant bc that's too subjective and is not what contributed to d2 being a bad movie but let's just say i found most of his looks kind of.. off-putting. why they didn't take advantage of Booboo Stewart's beauty is a mystery to me. Especially since his looks are supposed to be Jay's strong suit.

2.b. Chad

He was a completely different character. Not only did his personality shift from deceitful to moronic but his morals changed?? like in d1 he didn't actually play by the rules - he let other people do his homework, and he didn't tell on Evie because he found her cheating wrong but because he wanted payback.

And in d2 he suddenly cares about rules word for word because the writers and the (young) audience already hate him so he can be sexist too i guess. Instead of making him a meaningful threedimensional character that offers a different perspective as the child of a disney hero he was turned into the comic relief and the overdone trope of the jock that lost his status and is now laughed at. Groundbreaking. you hate him i get it i g e t i t. (also stay tuned for the sexism part i'm not done with that)

1.c. Carlos

to get super subjective again: i absolutely hate the direction they went in with his character. why not make him even more nerdy now that he has the freedom to do so? the only thing that referenced his tech stuff was that he supposedly improved their 3D printer. wow. his new hairstyle, the golden headphones etc. were things that don't fit into the impression i got from the first movie and/or the books at all. they didn't even show him tinkering with some device or whatever? how tf am i supposed to believe that he's a techie???

Also in Rise of the Isle of the Lost he is anti-magic for some goshdang reason, but in d2 he asks Mal to help him with magic, which is one of those inconsistencies i was talking about.

1.d. Evie

here's what i would have done with her instead: make 4 Hearts less relevant (do show her sewing and talking about commissions) and let her care for the remaining isle kids from the very beginning. her introduction in d2 could've been her talking about wanting to bring them over, but having difficutly to make it happen (maybe the royal council pushes back or whatever).

instead she spends 6(?) months doing jackshit about the isle kids and only remembers it like halfway through the movie.

1.e. Ben

he just pisses me off. not only is he dismissive and ignorant of Mal's struggles and blames her for when she fails to be perfect, but he is also incompetent as a king, at least when it comes to the Isle. Why the fuck did it take him so long to bring more isle kids over? and why does he need to hear it from Evie first? it was his idea in the first place but then he completely forgets about it for some reason even though he is literally dating a vk. "i guess i've just been busy" with what? being a fuckboy? (also sidenote: there it is again with the "tell don't show" that i've already talked about in the rant about Rise linked above. it's one of the biggest problems i have with the storytelling across all installations in this franchise. Ben is not shown being busy one single time. We're just supposed to believe it because they said so.)

(another sidenote: why the fuck does he have those beast traits, by which i mean all that redundant roaring like i get they want to reference beauty and the beast but do the writers realize that his father was cursed he does not actually have those furry genes)

1.f. Jane

? per s onalit y ?¿?? literally who is she

There's not much to say about the others (some i will cover later when i talk about relationships). Do you know that thing when a character's potential is wasted? In descendants this happens with every last one of them. They're like those cakes that are just for show: they look amazing and tasty but when you take a bite it's cardboard.

2. Plot

pretty basic for the most part, but i personally found the suspense curve really weird. it has two climaxes (? what is plural): 1. the sword fight and 2. at the cotillion. Also i hated that it took place over the course of like 2 days, but that might just be my personal taste. There are some plot holes of varying degrees of annoying. For one, Maleficent probably starved to death in that box because Mal and the writers forgot about her. And her moped is gone, it left, like i should have as well, good-fucking-bye.

Then there's the fact that Mal didn't go back with them because she learned some kind of lesson or grew as a peson or whatever but because she didn't have a choice and they never talked about her initial struggles except "my hair and dress are purple again so it's fine". i mean yeah she said her piece about not fitting in or whatever but we don't actually see it working out after all that trouble?How did the dynamic in their relationship change? who knows.

Then there's the fact that Uma is somewhere in the ocean, she's a giant monster and 100% capable of using magic but no one gives a shit??? at this point i'm willing to bet that in the next isle book it will be explained what happened to her so it doesn't have to be dealt with in descendants 3 and i will scream.

By the way i didn't understand what it was that Ben said that convinced her to retreat, his speech was so lame.

Also the octopus/dragon "fight" was ridiculous. they didn't do shit? Uma was just wiggling around and Mal was floating, which looked stupid because she made flying/gliding motions but stayed in the same spot.

And one thing that really annoyed me is how they only made 5 smoke bombs and then also needed exactly 5. b better prepared u idiots. that whole thing was so weird anyway bc the point was to avoid a fight but it didn't work. maybe it would've worked if they had made more than 5 who knows. and the plan to make them in the first place came completely out of the blue. (-plan? -smoke bombs -k)

Also why did Uma expect the wand to work under the barrier? The only explanation I can think of is that it's because the wand was what created the barrier (although the whole thing about the Isle is that magic Does Not Work and we should have been given an explanation as to why the wand is an exception) but 1. How would Uma know that and 2. If it had been the real wand they could've used it to knock the pirates out or whatever and Uma should've expected that. This whole trade-off thing was sketchy and holey as fuck.

You know what was one of the best things about d1? The parents. I mean this was probably a budget issue but the parents were arguably one of, if not the, most entertaining aspects. and boy could it have been interesting to see the confontation between them and their kids...

The isle was really weird and underwhelming btw. i saw people say it was great bc we got to see more of the isle but did we really? it was just a bunch of disjointed locations and we still have no idea how anything is located in relation to one another, how big it is, or how and how many people actually live there. And why did no one there give a shit that the rotten four were back? most of all Mal, whom the people hated the most for betraying them and becoming a princess. Also why did Mal not go back to her old home instead of this building that was a.. warehouse? their gang hangout?? that came out of nowhere??? correct me if i'm wrong but do they say something along the lines of "we used to hang out here" even once? why was there a bed in there

And hey remember tourney? It's not even like roar was necessary so that they'd have swords? Also it could have been mentioned like "now that tourney season's over we're focusing on roar" but no?? Let's just forget about it like the writers did.

3. Music

not really much to say, except that they used way too much autotune but i guess overall it's an improvement compared to the first movie but it's whatever. the only thing that confused me about what's my name was that in the movie (as opposed to the music video on youtube etc) there was this weird echo that made it sound like it was playing in another tab with a slight lag??

and another thing that stuck out to me was it's going down: the rap parts were already hella uncomfortable to watch but when ben started singing i just about died of secondhand embarrassment it's so bad lmao.

4. The Thing With Lonnie

Don't get me wrong, i love that she got a bigger part and that she's a good swordfighter and whatnot.

BUT:

First of all, why is it even a thing that the roar rule book has gendered language like that? i mean aren't there countless women in auradon who have proven over and over again that they're just as capable as man? why does Lonnie need to prove anything. especially since her mother is mulan of all people???

listen, the exploitation of gendered language has brought forth some great moments (eg: lotr "i am no man") but it's getting old. Girls and women have proven countless times that they can do "anything a boy can". how many times more does it have to happen until we can take the next step?

And it wasn't even handled well in d2. Sure, Lonnie's captain now, but do we really have to wait until d3 (or god forbid the next book in the isle series where the movie can lean back and let the book do all the storytelling work) for something to actually change in a system that is still misogynistic for whatever goddamn reason??

for this sideplot not to fail miserably like it did, what should have happened is that Lonnie changes the rules so that anyone can join the team, because as we were left it was still "captain and 8 men". we did not see the actual change happening and this was a half-assed attempt at this tired old "girl power" shit.

in this kind of storyline we only ever see the first step, we never see the actual progress that follows. it's always just "huh, i guess girls aren't useless after all" it's 2017 get with the program and move the fuck on.

OR just drop this overdone trope and have a team consisting of different genders from the very beginning.

It's time to tell girls that they don't need to prove themselves in order to be respected.

5. Relationships jesus christ here we go

okay okay there is a number of things that get my blood b o i l i n g and one of them is lazy fictional heterosexual romances and boy oh boy is this movie a fucking gold mine in that regard.

5.a. let's take a look at janelos first (don't worry i will talk shit about bal and devie individually as well): it's boring, shallow, if it was a spice it would be flour. look, if you ship it, by all means be my fucking guest. i even encourage you to write fanfiction or do something to make something out of this bland ass mess of a supposed romantic relationship.

it's a perfect example of what is wrong with this kind of fictional romance. first of all i will disregard the books bc 1. the movies shouldn't need the books for that, yadda yadda and 2. they don't do much to save it anyway. so. it's the easy route, the tried and true formular, and that's the problem. he was a boy, she was a girl, and that's enough to make their interest in each other believable, right? the answer is no. it's lazily written and i am tired™. why, how, when did they fall in love? are they even friends? what do they have in common? what activities do they enjoy together? those are all things we don't know, this relationship comes out of nowhere. how did they go from not even so much as look at each other in the first movie to being head over heels for each other? and not to mention, was it worth sacrificing their personalities for? you guessed it the answer is no yet again. Neither Carlos nor Jane receive any character development whatsoever. None. They could have done so much with them (if you hear a strange sound it's me weeping).

And it is replaceable. Change their names and it won't make the slightest bit of difference, because this relationship does not have one single distinguishable trait (in fact it has no traits period) compared to the 87632947 others out there. it is so. generic. and frankly i don't understand how people can settle for it. i mean i get how people can just watch the movie and not care bc why would they, but how does someone look at this and go "yes, this is a well-written romance" ????? ? ? up your standards people.

and now some predictions that came (somewhat) true from that Heterosexual Romantic Subplot Bullshit Bingo i wanted to make for d2 but never finished:

- by the end their relationship won’t have developed like at all, but they dance together to show us that they’ve come sUcH a LoNg waY

- one wants to ask the other out/they both want to ask each other out, but they’re too shy and also the plot keeps interrupting them.

- it will take away screentime they could have used to give them actual character development.

- jane won't receive an arc besides being and obligatory love interest.

- carlos tries talking to her but he stammers and it’s supposed to be cute.

5.b. Devie

Like i get that Doug is jealous bc of his own insecurities but what is hip with the kids in the year of our lord 2k17 is mutual trust and communication. To think that Evie would cheat on him is such an insult tbh?? And why did Evie not tell him where she was going in the first place? i mean granted i could think of a few reasons why she wouldn't but we don't even see her give a shit bc Doug is irrelevant in her quest to go and sing a duet with the person she'd rather be dating. She probably just forgot about Doug like I, the viewer, did the second he left the screen.

Also it's just the same bs again. We don't know shit about their relationship. What is it like? What do they enjoy doing together? What is their dynamic? Doug could literally be a pair of Pradas and it wouldn't make a difference.

But for real tho can we go back on how he accuses her of cheating?? like wow dude that's so gross pls don't present that to young viewers as cute because i assure you it is not.

5.c. Bal (h e r e w e g o)

Ben is such a bad boyfriend omg. I mean i get that he couldn't possibly understand what Mal is going through, but he isn't even trying. She changes everything about herself and he doesn't get suspicious in the least. And apparently they don't talk about anything that matters because 1. Mal can't be honest with him (she dragged all that shit around with her for ~6 months!!!) and 2. he would know more about the isle (but he has no clue).

out of all the relationships in this movie this is the one they should've put some effort into. i mean they succeeded in making Ben look like a dick but that wasn't their intention so i just ended up feeling sorry for Mal for being stuck with him bc it's ~true love~ .

Mal to Ben: "you've always known who we were" he didn't tho?? just bc he gave her a purple dress in that stained glass picture? he could've just told her that instead of letting her suffer for months bc she thought he'd leave her if she was more like herself. and that's the resolution, Mal shouldn't have been worried oh how silly of her! i guess everything is fine after all!

but you know actually their love for each other is totally believable bc they had an emotional and heart-wrenching duet together - oh wait.

A big reason why Sofia Carson and Dove Cameron got a duet is probably because they're professional singers and Mitchell Hope apparently can't get out a single correct note without 10 layers of autotune but when the story is about true love saving the day shouldn't that aspect get a little more attention? i mean don't get me wrong i like that the duet between mal and evie is there at all (but hey @disney make it gay you cowards) bc the friendships between the characters and especially the vk's don't get nearly as much attention as they should.

not to go on a tangent about how hand-holding and forehead-touching can totally be platonic but put next to Ben and Mal who Do Not Do That it makes their romantic relationship even less exciting. like, i don't know why i should care about it.

also while typing this i realized that it's not really that different from other movies and i thought hey, maybe i'm being too hard on it, but then i remembered that 99% of all canon heterosexual romantic relationships are bland and boring and i need writers to try harder (or try at all) because i am bored to death by the same shit over and over again.

i know i'm wasting way too much energy on this but i was already too invested in descendants so might as well go all the way amirite. i just had to get it all off my chest. if you need me to elaborate on anything feel free to message me.

and the first movie wasn't all that good btw, it is trashy in a way that was enjoyable, but the second one is just trash.

so yeah all in all that script was just straight up a pile of garbage consisting of washed-out tropes and no amount of bright colors or catchy songs can save it.

#disney descendants #descendants 2 #descendants 2 spoilers

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auroracaelestia · 7 years

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Thoughts on GoT 7x05

I think the episode was eventually so-so... Sometimes if felt like a spin-off (the pilot episode of The Adventures Behind The Wall).

Firstly, Dany’s show of power. Intimidating and burning those who refuse to surrender and obey the will of their new overlord. In any other context it would be viewed as an act of inspiring dictator, with the goal of the absolute rule. But here we have Khaleesi, the beloved Dragon Queen, who wants to save the world, liberate the common people and restore the balance of the Force... Tyrion’s reaction was basically mine. Later his conversation with Varys was in my view quite meaningful. Dany might not be her father but she’s clearly an extremist. She believes what she does is necessary and for the greater good. Anyone who disagrees, off to the flames. Well, Dany’s fans defend her decision (as usual). The justification is that Tarly betrayed House Tyrell and she punished him for treason. How about any surviving Lannister soldiers? Traitors to House Targaryen then. I’m sure there will always be some reason. And lastly, I must say it was chilling to see Drogon threatening those soldiers. Imagine if there was no dragon. There were still the Dothraki, but they didn’t have this wow factor.

As not to left so much of a bad feeling after the spectacular execution, Dany became more light-hearted when Jon got touchy-touchy with Drogon and Ser Friendzone finally returned. Yes, they want to show her as a human, not a ruthless conquering machine, I get it. Btw, Jon’s scene with Drogon was clearly important. If I were Dany, I’d seriously think he might possess some Targaryen genes. But apparently she was just (or so much) impressed, maybe she thinks he’s the destined hero made for her, her ideal counterpart... Some stuff which Jonerys shippers love. Maybe she’s getting infatuated by Jon, but him? So far he’s like a cold stone. Also, what if Dany dies (if it really happens)? Does it mean Jon would inherit Drogon? There is some possibility.

To me that part of the episode was interesting. Later it became different.

The whole plan with convincing Cersei, Tyrion & Davos’ mission to King’s Landing, the skeptical (why not?) maesters, Jaime and Cersei’s (another) incest scene (blergh), collecting the heroes back to the North - it all felt like a filler. One might say it was a setup, the slow pacing is good etc. But the pacing was a little strange as well. The “council on Dragonstone” scene was bordering on silly. It could be easily spoofed by Saturday Night Live. One good thing (in this case actually a person) for certain was Gendry, embracing his Baratheon heritage ;) Btw I’m kinda starting to ship him with Jon, maybe just in spite of Jonerys shippers xD

As for Cersei, she’s still dangerous, even to Jaime - “don’t betray me ever again” lol, just for talking to Tyrion I guess. Her determination to overcome any foes is as extreme as Dany’s belief in her own rightfulness. I don’t believe Cersei is going to surrender, and now she wants to buy her time.

I should also mention the drama in Winterfell... To me Sansa’s actions are reasonable and not shady at all. But Arya grows suspicious and acts slightly psychotic (just slightly?), suggesting the preemptive kill-off of some potential traitors. I get that Arya found her new purpose in the story, but Sansa’s arguments were right at first glance. Of course, Petyr Baelish wants to live up to his (infamous) renown and create another scheme. This time, I suppose, he wants to make Arya hostile to Sansa and get rid of the dangerous (to him) sister in the process, by planting the convenient evidence to make her suspicious etc. We’ll see how it goes. At least that’s what remains of the court intrigues in the show.

I’m still not sure why Sam ignored the information regarding Rhaegar, the annulment and the secret ceremony. Probably he was too disappointed with the Citadel to notice. When he finds out that Jon is Rhaegar’s son, he’ll need to find those documents. Btw they are conveniently not so secret (like buried or placed in some closed chamber) as one might think.

That’s it, for now. I might add something later.

#got spoilers #anti daenerys #anti jonerys #got

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irregularjohnnywiggins · 7 years

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My Pitch for how to rewrite Arrow.

So, a while back, after me and my brother had a chin-wagging session on why Arrow was a legitimately terrible show after Season 2, I decided to do a little think piece: say I was tasked with rebooting Arrow a couple of years down the line. How would I do it? What would I change (a lot)? What would I keep the same (not a lot)? I decided to sit down and write out a basic outline for a rewritten Arrow Season 1.

...two weeks, 2000+ words and another basic outline for Season 2 later, I am pleased to present my pitch for Arrow Season 1 under the cut to anyone who might give a shit.

WARNINGS for: discussion of violence, mental health and swearing.

The first season is almost exactly the same as Arrow, but with a few not that big rather large differences

1. First off, no Felicity. You could probably bend her characterization into something likeable, but it would just be too much work for too little payoff.

Seriously, if we need someone to do hacker bits? Oracle is right there, you guys.

2. More overtly a Robin Hood story-Team Arrow are the Merry Men, Malcolm Merlyn is the Sherriff of Nottingham, some episodes are entirely ripped from lesser-known Robin Hood stories, etc. (Full disclosure: this is mainly because I love Robin Hood, and will fight to the death to have another good Robin Hood show for this generation)

3. Have Oliver be explicitly an SJW. I say this because Arrow really lost something the instant it turned Oliver into just another Batman clone. If I may reference a comic I haven’t read (yet) I think one of the most interesting (and easily incorporated) elements of the Rebirth story is Oliver coming to terms with the idea that he can’t really ‘fuck the man’ if he is ‘the man’, and it could also give Thea something to do besides be all ‘self-destructive teen’-and also it’s a great way to introduce Roy.

4. In addition, have Merlyn be an actual morally opposed antagonist. Maybe have Tommy bring up that Merlyn could do anything to help the people of the Glades and be more faithful to his mother’s memory, but it’s easier for him to pretend that he’s ‘curing’ the city by getting rid of the poor people.

5. And for God’s sake, don’t have Oliver open up a nightclub in the middle of a dilapidated area that needs literally anything except another fucking nightclub. Like… anything. Hell, have him open up a soup kitchen that also gives out really expensive clothes he doesn’t need any more, and have Moira be all ‘but charity? What is the SJW bullshit?’

Thus Thea’s whole ‘I work at a law firm except now I run a nightclub aren’t I a caring soul?’ becomes ‘I worked at a law firm and now I run a soup kitchen because this will actually help people.’

6. But the biggest change has to be to Black Canary.

So, when Oliver returns from the island Laurel is… different. For one thing, she’s going by Dinah now. She’s also got a new personal trainer (Wildcat), and… that scene in episode 2 when China White attacks them? Dinah kicks ass.

But that’s not the only thing that surprises him.

See, when he goes to strike the first name off the list-a name, I may remind you, that Dinah is suing in court to no real effect-he runs into complications.

Complications in the form of an apparent thief named Black Canary.

See, Dinah’s been doing this Daredevil shtick for a while now. Apparently she compulsively activated her meta-gene in grief after her sister’s death, and the Canary Cry is actually effective in this-the Canary Cry in the comics can take out Wondy if she’s not prepared, so we’re talking that level of effectiveness.

Why she decided to be a vigilante is up for debate-maybe she actually has a Daredevil-esque ‘I trusted in the law, and it screwed everything up, so fuck it, I’mma do it myself!’ or maybe she found out her mother was the first Black Canary and took up the mantle (or both. Both is good)

Regardless, she’s here to hack into Hunt’s computers and release a ton of info onto the web to use in her case against him. Oliver’s here to hack in and give the money Hunt stole back to the people.

Neither of them mention this.

They fight.

Dinah wins (of course)

And thus, for more or less the first half of the first season, both of these dorks are convinced that they’re having a ‘Batman/Catwoman’ style romance, with the other one as Catwoman.

They arrive in more or less the same area, they trade witty banter, they both somehow get what they want despite the other person opposing them, rinse and repeat.

Even better, Oliver goes to Dinah in her civilian identity in like Episode 3. So Dinah starts thinking ‘maybe he’s not so bad after all’. So she starts pulling her punches. Which results in Oliver sometimes winning (rarely, but sometimes). Which results in him thinking that it has more to do with his skills than it probably does.

Meanwhile, out of costume, Oliver and Dinah exchange as much flirty banter as in costume. Like, sometimes it’s the exact same flirty banter.

Diggle, after he joins Oliver, immediately susses out who Black Canary is based purely on the flirty banter, and spends the rest of the first half of the season constantly going HOW HAVE THESE TWO NOT FIGURED IT OUT YET?

7. The mid-season finale has GA and BC fighting Merlyn, wherein a) they both discover who the other is and b) Oliver gets sure-fire proof that Moira is involved in the Undertaking

8. This leads to Dinah and Diggle both telling Oliver to give the evidence to Lance (who has been hunting for both of them, but keeps on hinting that he knows who Black Canary, at least, is) but Oliver is all ‘but she’s my mom.’

9. And because Diggle and Dinah are having none of that shit, Dinah goes to her dad and he starts investigating Moira.

Oliver is not happy.

They fight.

Dinah wins (of course)

10. Oliver spends about three episodes brooding about this, until Diggle, Thea (unknowingly) and Dinah kick his ass back into gear (This is also where we get the majority of the island flashbacks, which, btw: almost the same, but no Slade and more Yao Fei and Shado.)

11. Tommy finds out who GA and BC are (how I’m undecided on. Maybe Dinah tells him, maybe Oliver does, maybe he figures it out on his own, idk) and agrees to help investigate his dad, because Team Arrow figure that Malcolm has to be involved.

Btw, Tommy’s been working in the soup kitchen because Oliver’s paying him and he, at least at the start, thinks he can convince Ollie to give up this weird SJW thing he’s got going on and go back to being a partyer

This all changes when he meets one Roy Harper, because Roy is basically him but with no money and an even bigger chip on his shoulder (also Native American cos I’ll be fucked if anyone gets whitewashed in my fucking Green Arrow show)

Basically for every scene the show devoted to that fucking love triangle I want a scene of Tommy and Roy being bros.

12. Moira isn’t convinced to out the Undertaking by Oliver tricking her, but by Oliver confronting her at the same time as Tommy confronts Malcolm, and the two giving more or less the same speech eviscerating the notion that the Undertaking is good for anyone.

Seriously, I want full on Marxist, socio-economic and class-based ideas being raised. I want this to be so overtly political that newsgroups will be talking about it for years. You wanna prove comic books aren’t just for kids anymore? Have an adult conversation about the world comic book Green Arrow would want us to live in, and see the conservative nerd sites explode.

For a bonus, have Malcolm talk like a commentator on Fox News, all ‘entitled poor people’ and ‘benefit thieves’ and ‘they shouldn’t be born poor if they didn’t want to get killed by an earthquake machine’.

13. Ultimately, the speech convinces Moira that she needs to turn over everything on the Undertaking to the authorities, and convinces Malcolm that Tommy just doesn’t understand his plan, and that he needs to start it right away.

14. From then on, the finale goes more or less as it goes in canon, with one major exception: Oliver and Dinah are both there when Tommy dies.

15. But before we get on to that, a word about the Green Arrow and killing:

Now, straight up front, I prefer my heroes to not kill if they can help it.

I do have caveats to that belief (e.g. I am in general agreement with @bluefall-returns‘ stance that Superman and Batman’s ‘killing is okay as long as it’s not humans’ ethos is… problematic, to say the least, and Wondy’s whole ‘don’t attack until you first talk, but if someone is a proven threat and killing is your only option, make sure they aren’t getting up afterwards’ is such a refreshing concept that I even incorporated it into the morality of one of my main characters) but on the whole, a superhero like Green Arrow, who stands for a specific set of real-world beliefs, shouldn’t kill unless absolutely necessary, and certainly not admit that he enjoys doing it (seriously, wtf Guggenheim?)

That being said, I will acknowledge that Oliver should kill at the start of the series. That only makes sense. He’s got fucking PTSD for fuck’s sake. Of course he’s reacting the way he did on the island.

But – and here’s the key thing – YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THE PTSD!

YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR ‘LOVE INTEREST’ MAKING JOKES AT YOUR EXPENSE ABOUT FUCKING ‘FANTASY ISLAND’!

YOU DON’T HAVE HER ACTING ALL CLUELESS AS TO WHY YOU’RE OPPOSED TO KILLING NOW!

YOU DON’T HAVE PEOPLE BEAT YOUR MAIN CHARACTER DOWN FOR MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AND CALL HIM AN ASSHOLE IF HE RESPONDS NEGATIVELY TO TRIGGERS!

I APPARENTLY HAVE TO TELL PROFESSIONAL WRITERS THAT PTSD ISN’T SOMETHING THAT CAN JUST SOME AND GO AS IT PLEASES

I’S SO FUCKING STUPFOWRBUORVN PNFWEONVOEWVN OWRENVORENVREO

…

…sorry

Anyway, have Oliver go to Dinah for help, because hey, she took an elective in psychiatry in college, maybe? (I don’t know how American school works)

(That may seem a bit too Mary Sue for some of you, but I say that if Batman can be a detective/ninja/billionaire/whatever else, and TV!Ollie can be a member of the Russian Mob before he even comes back to the city and no-one questions it, the fucking Black Canary can be a therapist if I want her to be. Also, at the very least it’s from a piece of comic book media (Young Justice) and associated with the right character, which already puts it ahead of anything Error has done with its female characters.)

So Ollie stops killing people after a while (which, for bonus points, removes a lot of the ‘WHAT WERE YOU THINKING’ from the Huntress episode)

(Yes, episode, because the second episode was pointless and I hate it.)

16. So, anyway, that happens. Thus, when Ollie fights Merlyn, it’s less external ‘will Tommy forgive me if I kill his dad’ and more Batman style ‘if I kill him, will I be able to stop/will I go back to what I was before?’

I still haven’t figured this out, btw. If Oliver kills him, then events proceed as they do in the show and Oliver is left with the realisation that killing Merlyn didn’t do anything except add another casualty to this insane plot. If Oliver lets Merlyn live, everything Merlyn does in later seasons are things Oliver could have stopped in this moment.

17. Where’s Dinah during this fight? Simple: she’s helping the evacuation of the Glades, because she may be able to help with the fight, but both her and Oliver know that’s secondary to getting the people to safety, and Merlyn’s all kinds of right wing shite, so it’s reasonable to assume he’s also sexist (he probably isn’t, but they assume he is) and so more willing to fight just Green Arrow than just Black Canary.

18. But, yeah, back to the angst.

19. So, Tommy dies. More importantly, Tommy does not die propping up Green Canary, because killing off people and having their final moments be about propping up another ship is a terrible idea. So, no, Tommy dies exactly as he does in canon, but with Oliver and Dinah there, and they both get closure.

20. The result is Oliver doesn’t just go fuck off to Lian Yu, but instead walks up to Dinah after Tommy’s funeral and is all ‘This city is going to go down the shitter. Thousands of people are now homeless, the rich bastards (Dinah ‘you know it’s not healthy to speak about yourself in the third person’) are gonna be trying to get as much of the opportunity pie as they can, and on top of all of that, we need to find out just how many of them were involved in this. It’s gonna be a hell of a job. You up for it?’

21. Dinah smiles. It’s simultaneously beautiful and dangerous.

22. ‘I thought you’d never ask’ she says.

So, that’s my idea. I’ll freely admit this isn’t complete, nor is it perfect - I didn’t really have many ideas for Detective Lance other than ‘Commissioner Gordon meets Sam Vimes’, which doesn’t really come across here, and my lack of knowledge about Roy Harper beyond Arrow and Young Justice (both of which I’ve been reliably told by @oathkeptroxas are not good representations of his character) lead me to be unsure of what to do with him, but I just wanted to get this idea off my chest. Thanks for listening to my rambles, and if you have any questions, ask what you will.

#green arrow #anti arrow #anti olicity #rewrite #fanfic #black canary #tommy merlyn #roy harper #morality #heroism #sjw superheroes #fixing arrow

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very-merry-sioux · 8 years

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I blame @kintatsujo for this. She reblogged one of my stuff and I got curious with her star trek tag and I saw this post. It was just, like, one sentence about pon farr but it made me think things and made me want to write things.

(Btw the reason why Spock might have been so unprepared is because he thought his Human genes squished that part out, he was like 25-30 something that time so I guess he assumed he’d never have it. There is canon medication for it, though they still need to meditate and stuff. Also implied that it’s not recommended.)

He had to make sure he understood this correctly. “He’ll be so horny that he’ll die?”

Mahak’s vehement “No!” was drowned out by Mana’s loud “Yes!”

Yami blinked. Well, this wasn’t how he expected his day to start.

“That seems like a serious oversight to not tell your captain, or doctor,” Yami scolded, going through his mental list of possible candidates for acting captain. He wondered how Jim would handle Spock’s. Or if he even knew. Maybe he should contact him later.

“Right?” Mana nodded, skillfully evading her brother as he tried to grab the metal box she was holding. Yami thought this pon farr must have been serious, if Mahak could stumble so inelegantly like that. Usually he put up a better fight. “Betazoids have a similar thing too, but it’s not every seven years,” she ducked again. “And it’s not like we’ll die. Maybe be mentally damaged in some way, but we’ll still live.”

That was worrying, Yami put a mental note to research about Betazoid physiology.

“We’re en route to New Vulcan as well,” he mused, considering having the ship on shore leave at the new colony. There wasn’t much to do there, the Vulcans were still rebuilding. But considering this was a Vulcan thing, it may be safer to do... whatever it is that needed to be done in a place full of experienced Vulcan doctors. “So how do you get rid of this pon farr?”

“By fucking.”

“Mana!”

“Or fighting,” she continued. “That’s what mom told me, some Vulcans could sate their plak tow by killing. Very rare though. Blood or sex, take your pick.”

Well.

“Vulcans are wild,” Yami commented.

“Yep,” she agreed, popping the last syllable. “Don’t worry, captain. That’s why I prepared this kit!” She held out the box with pride, as if it was a homemade lunch she made with love for her brother. Which, Yami thought, wasn’t far from the truth. It was made with love, it was just less innocent than a boxed lunch.

Said brother did not appreciate the effort though. “You forget that this is not my first pon farr,” Mahak gritted out, glaring at his sister. “I am fully capable of handling it on my own.”

Yami furrowed his brow, feeling something ugly bubbling within him. Didn’t that mean-?

“No, captain, I did not copulate with anyone,” Mahak looked insulted by that. “And I am not planning to.”

Oh. “But didn’t Mana say-?”

“There is another way to go through pon farr,” the Vulcan explained. “And it is through medication and meditation.”

“Which is dumb because you have a perfectly willing boyfriend who’d do you, or allow you to do him. Or both,” Mana said frankly. “While meditating’s good and all, you forget I am an empath. I felt your blue balls, bro. I am not feeling it again. It is one of the saddest things I’ve ever felt.”

Despite the seriousness of this situation, because his first officer could die, he had to smile at Mana’s bluntness. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Yami asked, feeling a little hurt. “I understand if you’re not interested-”

Mana coughed.

“-but you could die, Mahak,” was he so repulsive or something that the Vulcan didn’t even consider him as an option?

“Actually, he thought you’d say no.”

Yami looked at Mahak like he was stupid.

“Yep,” Mana agreed wholeheartedly. “I looked at him the same way when he thought that.”

Most of the trekkie tidbits came from Memory Alpha, Memory Beta, and my own memory.

To know about these characters in my Star Games AU, go to these links:

Yami

Mahak

Mana

#ygo #yami #mahak #mana #oc #star trek #star games #au #crossover #art vomit #word vomit #pon farr #pffft

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inexchangeforyoursoul · 7 years

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double chapters for the self-indulgent Law thing, 4+5, each exceeding 2k words a bit

it’s on AO3 already btw (as well as ffn) (apart from the latter chapter which will be tumblr-exclusive till mornig aka for about 10 hours, but honestly, don’t fuck your eyes over with my theme otherwise)

It takes about ten minutes of convincing, but she finally gets him to take off the ridiculous looking piece of clothing. On his way out, he shoves a long sword into her hands.

“Woah...! What's this for?” is her surprised reaction. She's also vaguely excited, because... swords.

“Kikoku. I don't leave base without it.” He states as a matter of fact.

“... alright. I'll just assume you have no problem handling it at the moment.“ she mumbles, throwing it... no, not around her neck, the weapon doesn't fit the corridor, unless she crab walks her way back outside... over her shoulder it is.

He stops up at the entrance for one too many seconds. She decides not to push her luck and just wait it out. It takes long enough for some crew members nearby noticing the holdup, though. Uni and... Clione, was his name? She waves at them. They mimic the gesture and disappear behind the corner, but not before giving a thumbs-up... She sighs. There's a wee little feeling they may not have been informed as of yet. Either that, or they are ignoring the situation altogether. Oh bother.

“... this still feels really weird.” he groans eventually, hand hovering over the doorhandle.

She tries to come up with something to calm-slash-convince him: “No person whatsoever will even recognize you outside, okay...? Worst case scenario, we run into an acquaintance of mine and say hello. And, well... count your blessings? I have short ones, too. Albeit I'd never wear those without leggings, so... fair enough.” With a groan, she acknowledges that this incoherent rambling is not getting them anywhere. “Anyway, look...” she says, stepping closer. “the sooner we're over this, the faster it ends, okay? Think of the pants, Law. The pants... they are only five minutes away from you.”

All he can muster is a sigh. The last section is more ridiculous and worse than anything else before it... but somehow, also better. “You are not one for pep talk.”

“... can't argue with that.” Kat admits. “I'm generally bad with words... and make things worse.” What else could she do in this situation, though? Shove him outside herself? Actually, no... that's rude. “Alright, I'll ignore the realization that this body is probably strong enough to just drag you anywhere I want to and offer plan C instead: we talk about the stuff you want to say anyway while we are out walking. Should be distraction enough, no?”

He turns around halfway- what she first said was slightly unnerving while absolutely true. The second part, though, is as good of an idea as it can get. “See, that's more of a plan.”

“Oh, nice,” she says, almost puzzled that it worked. Uncertainty returns a second later, however. “Is it enough to get going, though?”

He turns back to the door and puts a hand on the handle. For a moment, he muses over how lucky he is that noone came through during all of this. Before opening it, he takes another quick look back, to which Kat reacts with a vaguely encouraging thumbs-up. If only he could be as nonchalant about this whole thing as her... oh well.

Having gotten outside and off the vessel, they start walking into town and Law adjusts his hat which has trouble staying put. She can't help but smile: “By the way, that looks incredibly silly on me.”

“... so?” he retorts, not even hiding that he's offended.

She puts her hands up in surprise. “Hey, hey, sorry... I see it's a sentimental value thing, never mind.”

“It's not...” The answer comes a little too fast, he finds. Anyway, “I'm just used to having it where it belongs. Like my nodachi.”

“I know, I also can't stay calm if I don't have my pens at hand at all times... I'll take good care of the baby, don't worry,” she says patting her bag and the blade with a smile, totally ignoring the look being given. She's got a prickly, sweet pear here by the looks of things. That's a pleasant surprise, great relief, and overall good news. “Well then... how will we kick this private introductory seminar on devil fruits off, Professor Trafalgar?” She asks turning back to him.

Even though it's intended as a joke, the tone and... whole sentence sound unexpectedly specific. It's when the last two words sink in when Law stumbles on the cobblestones, though. “Wha'?”

“... careful.” she blinks at him. “And I asked about your improvised syllabus.”

Wait a sec here. “... I know it's none of my business and has little to do with the question, but... am I right to assume that you've had tertiary education?” He asks with an incredulous voice entering halfway through. Her vocabulary made him guess that she was from a well-off family, but that's not necessarily the case all of a sudden. For a small, but specific reason, he just never even considered it.

“I prefer to call it “the 1.5 years of my life I'd rather delete from memory without a trace,” but yes, I was at college,” comes the straight answer with a nod. She stares direction crossroads.

It just doesn't want to add up to him. Unless she's some genius, graduation does not come earlier than the age of 17; this was followed by up to two more years related to school, and now she's an established member of a town she's admittedly not from... it doesn't seem to make sense, because... “Sorry, but... you look like someone who just graduated.”

“Heheh, mom's genes,” she flashes a faint smile. “I'm 24... she also looked younger than her age until she hit about 40, even though she was always stressed from whatever she focused on. Time will eventually catch up with me. Also, no offense taken.”

Law takes a note of the fact that she hasn't looked anywhere else but the road ahead since the topic surfaced. Usually she would turn in the general direction of the person she's talking to, occasionally glimpsing into their eye, but this was just way too passive. He knows he hit some sensitive issues and decides to better leave it be. Either way, here he was thinking she's not older than 20... well, at least he's hopefully got a more mature student at hand than anticipated.

They take a right at a post with some signs on it, the one facing them and pointing towards said direction saying “Sheoo”. It's the main street- save for some horses, a mother and her two children, an elderly couple sitting under a tree, and another group of kids on bikes playing in the distance, there's noone outside.

“That's a Sunday morning for you... on a holiday, nonetheless.” She flips the sword around her neck as first intended and takes a smug look back at him. “And you threw a fit.”

He grunts and shrugs. Local holidays are one thing, and one doesn't really keep up with the days of the week on sea, either... unless they are a religious bunch, he supposes. At the same time he knew yesterday was a Saturday, so he has no right to complain. The people being inside is one blessing he's willing to count, though.

“Alright, let's just start and go over the basics,” he says donning the temporal professor position as they walk down the road, and goes through a list of abilities he gained in the period he's had his fruit. He's into it enough that she has to grab his collar by the time they pass the right corner.

“Turning... anyway, since I've already interrupted you, here's what I've gathered... if I get things working I can theoretically A: levitate things around me and have them switch places; B: cut stuff into pieces without causing any harm to the target; and C: zap the shit out of anything. All of these within a certain area I would need to define myself. Oh, and the target can be something abstract, as you've already illustrated. Is that it?”

“You didn't have to point the last thing out, but yes, that's it.” he replies after going through her abbreviated list. She picked up everything that was important, good- however... “Refer from doing that, would you.” he adds, swatting her hand from the dress. The only ones who can give him unwanted attention are his crew. And, uh, Luffy, because he can't really get rid of him anyway. And Carrot, who is as touchy as Bepo... and maybe Chopper. Maybe. Goddamn fluffy critters and their soft, warm fur.

“... depends on the reach, but it sure sounds broken as hell to me, not gonna lie.” Especially if she compares things to the basic ability of 'can stretch really far'. Then again, this here also can be summed up as 'electricity aided transport' which is basically trams that are faster and better than those in the capitol Wenna two islands over, so whatever. She slows down and digs into her tote bag, listening for the key jingles.

“It's a big favorite for a reason, especially with the big shots.”

She raises an eyebrow and turns towards him at their stop, still fiddling inside the bag. “Okay, provided you are not shitting me... no, actually, while it's very useful, it really is not that interesting of a power. I'd love it for taking out the trash and securing a big, hot plate of soup with no risk of it splashing it about, but... what good would this do to a fat cat? They already have servants, if not straight-out slaves doing these things for their useless asses...” She grabs hold of a bunch of cold, clinking fishes in the sometimes seemingly bottomless sea on her side. “Honestly, I'm at a loss. Why the fuck would it be popular with anyone else but people interested in the body and healing?”

The way her logic splashes around towards the rant's conclusion amuses him quite a bit. Dare he...? Why not. “It's because there's this other thing you can do with it called 'Perpetual Youth Surgery'.”

“Sounds fancy enough... perpetual youth...” She's going through her one too many keys. A lot of them are antiques or haven't been used in years by the looks of it. “So basically whoever gets it stays young... forever. As in, forever forever?” she asks, looking back up, squinting in disbelief.

“Yeah.” The immediate exasperation on her face is amazing. She stops fidgeting with the keys, holding one that's likely the one she was looking for and turns to him.

“Let me get this straight... some idiots want to become immortal... and... and you sure as hell get these assholes chasing after you just because of this, too... right?”

He nods. Now, for the last stroke... “Doing it just once would also kill me, for the record.”

Her poker face cracks barely, and her control over her breath is also good... but from under the hat he can see the brows furrow just a bit more than usual, and hear the keys creak under her fingers, likely scraping off years worth of filth each other, revealing their true colors; most importantly, however, her eyes reflect the full scope of sheer indignation she feels after running through it all in her head again... she cannot find the words. After a minute she remembers he's also there, and lifts a finger asking for another moment to calm down. Then ready, set, go...

“I may not be the popular vote, but I'd rather receive a bullet to the head right now than become immortal. What kind of troglodyte thinks watching friends and family die all the time is a fun activity... then becoming too old to get new technology, too?” A short break with a quick, deep breath. “Some think it's hot stuff, but immortality is the most useless superpower ever.” The emphasizing hand swing at the end makes Law think she's going to throw the key cluster against the wall. Having let some of the steam out, she sniffs and adds a thought that squeezed itself among the others at the highest of her rage, one she cannot ignore: “Unless it's some self-entitled sick fuck with too much free time. Those only care about themselves anyway...” She inhales once more, to let out the rest of the stress. “Let's get inside... I think I'll pop that cider at last.” With that, she turns around to open the little gate leading up tho the narrow, two story row home she lives in.

He just nods. The conversation gave him a certain peace of mind- his body is in good, albeit untrained hands. She has no idea, nor will have any, because it won't show- but she just scored up to three cookie points in his book.

“Here you go, this... is my pants pile.” she states after raiding three different shelves across the board, dumping the big heap of fabric onto the bed. They finally reached the goal, that is the first floor bedroom overlooking the street. Walking out, she points at a cabinet next to the window. “The shirts and such are there, under the books- you can handle that yourself.”

“Okay,” he grumbles; he has all the info he needs. Although there's the temptation to ask where she's going, but judging by the noises she's just down in the kitchen and not planning on leaving the house, so he leaves it be and turns towards the task at hand.

A good chunk of what's not sweatpants seem to be denim; this is as good as a jackpot right now. He decides to look into the wardrobe first, though. There are no big surprises in there.... that extra thick pile to the far right, though... could it be...? He takes the red one out on top... Why, yes, those are all, indeed, hoodies. With neutral, if not rude content at the front. Nice.

He takes out half of the pile and sets it aside, then moves onto the T-shirts and sweaters; she's not very picky. There's virtually everything in there, ranging from pastel through smart-casual to straight-up goth, or some combination of these. Some simpler ones have seen a lot of wear, others are, as far as he can tell, brand new. Once he finds himself in a staring contest with Brook on a tee, he decides it's time to stop. Something about it seems off, though... the material is near new, but the paint is already missing from a spot or two... it's not like any Soul King merch he's seen either. A knockoff, maybe? At the same time, that really is some good fabric, so it doesn't quite add up. There were a few similar ones, too, now that he thinks about it...

He's turning around to put the rest of the pile back, when he notices some tubes and cans behind the corner of the cabinet. On the thick windowsill overlooking the street there's other stuff than just some pillows as he first guessed- he can also see what looks like blank paper, pencils, and... a few pieces of canvas propped to the side, maybe? He's more interested in the colorful bottles, though. He picks up the nearest one- blue fabric paint. Mystery solved, he guesses.

He takes one last look at the skull, then puts the pile of clothes inside. She did seem an artsy one, that one he won't dispute- never would have guessed the forms it manifested in, though. Looking around, there's also some small paintings dotting the wall- nondescript people standing in various places. Possibly sketched from imagination, as there's not much detail in most of them. The signature on the closest one says... well, Kat. Weird of her to not use her initials instead, but whatever. All in all, not his thing, but it's pretty decent stuff.

“You done sorting yet?” he can hear from the door, followed by a clink.

He turns around- she has a bowl in her right hand and is eating what appears to be cereal. Thinking about it, he only ever saw her shoving down snacks. And that medium pizza that she spirited away between him looking that direction twice. That one still haunts him. “Please tell me you eat actual food sometimes... also, no, I've yet to go through the pants. By the way, didn't you say something about a cider earlier...?” He asks with suspicion. She better not have drunk that before going for the cereal bowl.

Kat shrugs. And swallows. “First of all, we come here mainly for that stuff and I see you never even touched it? Dude... Second: I eat all the garbage I want to... also, I changed my mind when I saw the box.” Next spoon. “I'll have to drink that soon enough, though, bottle's near-expired. Didn't want to refuse it from my boss, you know? But booze is nasty, no matter the flavoring. Especially when there's no salty treats to eat it with.” She states, putting another spoonful into her mouth, then comes to an abrupt halt upon swallowing and her eyes go wide. “Oh, right... You have something against, what'sitcalled... gluten, right? If it's an allergy you better help me right now because I stuffed down half a package of whole grain cookies a minute ago.”

The amusement over her mild panic is suppressed by the notion itself, taking him by surprise. “No, I don't... where did you even get the idea?”

“Well, for starters,” she eats another dose, since apparently everything's alright, “I've seen you guys eat three times thus far, and you specifically? I have never seen you touch a sandwich... or those nice buttered baguette slices, although they were godlike. Meanwhile you snack on virtually everything else in front of you. So I just figured you might be intolerant.” She explains in confidence, ending with another shrug and a smaller spoon of cereal. The rest will be harder to get to... time to tilt.

This description makes Law oddly... nervous. He decides against voicing that, though. “I see... well... I just don't like bread. That's all there is to it.”

She stops chewing. “Zat's... a weed shois do have an avesshon do, not honna 'ie.”

It's his turn to shrug. “I ate nothing else for weeks straight at one time and got fed up. Most people have that, usually with an old favorite, no? I just cannot get it down my throat ever since.”

“Ah, yes... I'm like that with raisins.” she says. “Once I ate almost two whole packages... but by the end the little plant parts and stray seeds disgusted me. I couldn't eat them afterwards, picking them out of every cake and whatever else- lately I'm okay with the big, golden ones, though.” Nom. “Things I have no reason to dislike are green beans and licorice, though. One for the hairy texture, other for the taste. Oh, and I also won't eat peppers unless they are raw. They taste really weird when cooked. Or roasted... or anything.”

By the time she gets to the end of her self-indulgent monologue, he's already digging into the glorious pants pile. She takes a look at what he's picked so far, and... is mildly confused.

“Umm... you really wanna pack stuff for the next two months, or...?”

“...” Looking again, he has to admit that it really is a lot of clothes. Act natural... “Well, we cannot possibly know how long this whole ordeal will take, can we?”

“... fair enough. We can just come back, though. And wash.”

Okay, he's been had. “... touché. If you want to, just put the ones you definitely don't want to lose back to the others.”

She hums. As he resumes sorting through stuff, she remembers a certain piece from right over there, though. Shoving some clutter to the side, she makes some space for the rest of her cereal on the desk next to her and digs into the bottom of the pants pile, looking for something dark. Law seems to have found something noteworthy, too.

“Lace?” he raises an eyebrow. He's both baffled that jeans like this one exist, and slightly alarmed at the thought of 'it looks rather nice'.

“Oh, found that one? I already forgot about it... was a second hand bargain, brand new and a perfect fit... but it's not my style and such, so haven't worn it at all. Might as well keep it forever. Anyway,” she grunts, dragging out something,” here, this is the most 'you' piece I've got.” He's offered another pair of dark blue jeans with decorative black threads; she then steps over to the shirts and whatnot to cut the load. Law finds that the piece given to him also saw little wear thus far. He flips it open to take a better look, and notices... some additional yellow rhinestones around the pockets and knees...

He blinks. It's easy enough to guess what kind of stuff he's perfectly fine wearing, but combined with the previous gluten remark... it's getting worrying, to say the least. “... you are a rather scary woman, you know that?” he asks, still fixated on the garment and taking a mental note to just maybe mix up his wardrobe a little bit. Maybe not start a lace collection, but, you know.

She shrugs. “You know how the saying about the silent ones goes.” she jokes. Yes, he does, is part of the club, and that's what makes him antsy over here. “On a more serious note... if there's one thing I have going for me, then it's that I'm a good observer. So I'll take that as a compliment.”

“That's still a lot of details for us having met on Tuesday.” And he usually notices when being watched, not to mention the short timeframe- Kat is scary, goddammit. He's grateful to all the people with observation skills like these doing mundane things like taking care of the image of some shop instead of... tell it as it is, spy work and assassination. Speaking of observation, though... there's no guarantee, but he'll have to probe whether she has haki. If so, she's totally unaware.

“If it makes you sleep easier, you are not alone. I noticed odd habits all across the alliance board, with few exceptions.” She says, then realizes that this must have had the total opposite effect than intended. Some of the things she did notice would definitely fly a red flag if the person knew, too. “Okay,” she turns towards him, getting a look. “I know what you are thinking, and you are right: what I just said sounds way creepier. Let's just... pack these things and forget this conversation ever happened.”

He agrees with a hum, symbolically zipping his mouth. Grabs one more pair of pants to throw on the greenlit bundle a second later, though. For good measure.

The whole reaction appears silly to her... it does ease her anxiety somewhat, though. He can be cute if he wants to. “Ready?” she asks with a little smile. Her expression fades into a thoughtful one once she surveys the things they've sorted out, though. She still should have the thing that's perfect for this task. “I'll need to get the one big bag from the Dump for all this.”

He blinks. “The... Dump?”

“The door between here and the bathroom. It's a smaller place I've had no use for... so I just throw in whatever I don't need at the moment.” she explains, giving the beard a scratch again. “It's... kinda messy. If I can't spot it immediately, it might take a while. But multiple medium bags will also do, we have to find either.” There's, of course, the possibility that the lesser bags are all stuffed into that tent of a thing she used for moving in, though...

'I see,' is what he wants to say, but something's making noise at the entrance- it's the pile of junk she propped up for the bowl, except it wasn't a stable construction, and now... it's all sliding back to reclaim its rightful place on the desk, pushing the porcelain to the side by the second, until---

“Nonono---!” she squeaks, reaching towards the faraway object in vain.

Next thing she knows, though: she's holding it. Umm… correction: holding most of it. There's a small, but clean, and slightly angled cut at the top and the missing piece cracks unceremoniously on the ground. A chunk of her desk itself also falls, albeit on the bed she was reaching over- similarly to some of the victorious mess. The other part of it is burying the sad shards.

Law is about as surprised as she is- and also relieved. She... she did it. Decapitated just about everything, yes, but good enough for a start. Step one, which he was most concerned about, is done. As the shock fades, Kat's eyes light up- theory is one thing, but actually doing it... this... is goddamn cool.

#opfanfic #Kate writes #it's a self insert kinda oc and body swap fic fyi #KMKY

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