#i have no idea why im on a writing kick but i am i guess

[microwave-core]

Carmine Fluff Alphabet Thing

For all intents and purposes, this is pre-Kieran Joker Arc.

Activities- What does she like to do? How does she spend her free time?

Carmine’s favorite thing to do with you is just laze around. She likes to splay out on the couch, tangling her limbs in yours, as you chat mindlessly. Makes Kieran bring in food and drinks from the kitchen or the drug store down the road. He grumbles about it, but he gets to hang out with you for a bit after doing so (he looks up to you a lot). Other than that, she likes showing you the many sights and scenes of Kitakami, especially the Festival of Masks. She’s very proud of her home (except for the whole casting out Ogrepon when she did nothing wrong thing, but I digress).

Beauty- What does she admire physically and mentally?

Physically, she likes your eyes. It’s not in a “eyes are the window to the soul” poetic type of way, though. She just appreciates their color and shape. Also really likes thighs. In terms of personality, Carmine really values courage. Even if you’re on the shy side, you’ve got at least some in you to stand toe to toe with her. She also really admires the ability to admit when you’re wrong, as it’s something she struggles with herself.

Comfort- How would she help when you’re feeling down, having a panic attack, etc.?

To be honest, Carmine’s style of comfort is a bit unconventional. She helps you settle down normally enough-instructing you to take deep breaths, to talk things out, and to let her hold you closely-but then she starts threatening whoever did this to you. She will make sure these bastards never see the light of day for hurting you, regardless if they hurt you on purpose or not. It’s up to you to reel her in if you think she’s going too far, because her threats are far from empty.

Dreams- How does she picture her future?

Hmm… Honestly, I don’t know. I could see her wanting to stay in Kitakami, continuing to live in her hometown out of habit, but I could also see her branching out and going on a journey to bigger regions and cities. She’s very prideful, though. She won’t easily admit that she likes a certain town or city or region, instead playing up how things are back at home. She wants you to come with her, obviously. What’s the point of going on a journey alone when she has you to do things for her to rely on?

Equal- Is she more dominant or passive in the relationship?

Definitely on the dominant side. She’s used to dealing with Kieran, who’s too shy to stand up for himself. Taking the reins comes naturally to her. She wouldn’t try to order you around all the time or speak on your behalf, but it’s obvious that she seems in control. She’s very vocal about what she does and does not like, and has a hard time dealing with push back. That being said, she does try to think about your needs and wants and changes to accommodate them, but that does not come easily to her.

Fight- What’s it like to fight her? How easily does she forgive? 

Carmine is easily agitated, but she tries to keep her temper under wraps for your sake. She tends to get snippy with other people over small things, but she doesn’t want to be mad at her lovely girlfriend for something petty. That being said, when it’s a big fight, she’s a nightmare to deal with. She needs at least a week of space before she’s even willing to be on speaking terms again, and she complains about what happened during most of that time. Also has a hard time admitting her faults, which doesn’t make things any easier. She’ll come around eventually. 

Gratitude- How grateful is she in general? Is she aware of what you do for her?

She’s very grateful for all you do, but doesn’t always vocalize that fact. Carmine doesn’t outright order you around, but she does ask you to do things sometimes. Can you bring me this, could you run to the store and grab that, would you be able to fetch Kiki for me, stuff like that. She’ll thank you after the fact, but it doesn’t show the depths of her gratitude. 

Honesty- Does she keep secrets or hide things, or does she share everything?

Doesn’t usually hide things. You’re her closest confidant, so she has to reason to lie… Okay, there are certain things she doesn’t vocalize, like just how grateful she is for all you do, but she’s not normally going to lie. Unless she thought hiding something for the moment would be the best for you (just like how she hides meeting Ogrepon from Kieran), she’s going to be pretty honest.

Inspiration- Did you inspire her to change in some way?

You make Carmine want to be a nicer person, in a sense. She’s a bit prickly and snippy with people she doesn’t know or doesn’t like, but she doesn’t want to be like that with you. She really cares about you, and really wants to keep you around, so she tries her best to be kinder and softer with you, but not with anyone else… except maybe with Kieran. She also tries to boss him around less.

Jealousy- Does she get jealous easily? How does she deal with it?

Yes. Absolutely yes. She doesn’t like most other people, so she obviously doesn’t like when they’re around you. How dare they have the audacity to think they know you better then she does? Carmine knows you better than anyone, no questions asked! She also doesn’t really deal with it, she just holds you close and glares at her opposition. Doesn’t really acknowledge her jealous streak, but she doesn’t try to deny it, either.

Kiss- What’s she like as a kisser?

She’s above average, I guess. A bit rough with them, but puts just enough passion in to leave you wanting more. She tends to soften up a bit when you kiss her, pouting until you give her another, then another, the another, so on and so forth. She’s a bit greedy with your affection, honestly. She wants to be showered in your love.

Love Confession- How does she confess?

Carmine doesn’t confess. Or rather, she doesn’t want to. She’d much rather be confessed to. She’ll drop hints constantly, hoping that you’ll pick up on her feelings and just spill yours already. The more hints she drops, the more obvious they get. Should you take too long, she’ll confess in a rather aggressive manner, basically just telling you to kiss her already.

Marriage- Does she want to get married? Does she want kids?

I think Carmine wants to be married, but I don’t see her as a person who’d want kids. She’s more of an aunt figure in my mind, in a “when your double-income, no-kids, lesbian aunts show up to unleash the gift reckoning on christmas” way. Of course, she waits for you to propose, but will begrudgingly take up that mantle if you take too long. Her ideal wedding is a small one, just being surrounded by family. Listen, she’s a sap but she doesn’t want anyone to know.

Nicknames- What kinds of pet names does she use?

Typically just sticks with babe or baby. If she’s in a teasing mood, she’ll use an overly sweet nickname that makes other people cringe. Could also use a short form of your name if that’s applicable.

On Cloud Nine- What’s she like when in love? Is it obvious to others? How does she express her love?

She’s noticeably happier and softer when she sees, or even just thinks, about you, but she only smiles smugly when asked why she’s in such high spirits. Her main love language is acts of service. She usually just orders people around to do her bidding, so going out of her way to do things on your behalf means a lot coming from her.

PDA- Is she upfront about your relationship and affection? 

Very upfront. Carmine wants everyone around to know that you’re her girl, just so they know not to mess with you unless they want to deal with her wrath. Has no issue with being affectionate with other people around, but tries to hold back with Kieran. She’ll tease him if he thinks her affection towards you is embarrassing, telling him off for still believing in cooties, but she does tone things down. She cares about him, really, she’s just an older sister. It’s how it be.

Quirk- What’s an ability she has that’s beneficial in a relationship?

She won’t hesitate to fuck someone up. Now, I’m not saying you should indulge in her violent tendencies and sick her on those you don’t like as if she’s a vapid dog, but you could if you really wanted to. Just know that you’ll likely have to take some of the responsibility if she clocks someone unprovoked.

Romance- How romantic is she? What does she do to make you happy?

As previously stated, she tries to do things for you. Again, it’s not much, but it means a lot coming from her. She’s not super romantic, but she is pretty passionate. As much as she likes sitting back and basking in your love, she will at times turn the tables and instead shower you in affection, peppering you with light pecks, telling you how much she loves you after each and every one.

Support- How does she help you achieve your goals?

Carmine can, and will, weed out anyone standing in your way. Is someone harassing you, or scaring you off, or in general just bringing your spirit down and making your job harder? Sit down babe, Carmine’s just gonna have a little chat with them real quick. She doesn’t always resort to violence, sometimes threats are enough to scare them off, but she will use force if she has to. Again, you might need to step in before she takes things too far.

Thrill- Does she feel the need to try new things out to spice up your relationship, or does she prefer stability?

Honestly, I’m a bit conflicted here. I think she does spice things up in, um, plenty of ways if you catch my drift, but she doesn’t do anything too extreme to your relationship as a whole.

Understanding- How well does she know you?

Carmine knows a lot about you. It’s like she’s got a little memory bank in her brain just for you. She’s pretty perspective, too, and tries to keep them in mind. She’ll do normal things like pick up your favorite snacks and plan dates at your favorite locals, but then she’ll do things like claim no one can sit in a specific spot because that’s your favorite seat and you deserve to have it. 

Value- How important is your relationship to her?

Incredibly important. Honestly, Carmine doesn’t have too many close relationships outside of her family, so you mean so much to her. When she knows that things between you are getting serious, she genuinely sees you as a part of her family, and they think the same. Her grandparents love you and think you’re a great influence, and Kieran thinks you’re ridiculously cool. So don’t break her heart.

Wild Card- A random headcanon.

She absentmindedly plays with your hair when she’s not doing anything else. She’ll twirl it and untangle it and wrap it around her fingers. If it’s too short to play with, or if you’ve styled it in a way where she can’t, or shouldn’t, mess with it easily, she’ll settle for scratching gently at your scalp.

XOXO- Is she affectionate? 

Pretty affectionate. She likes to hold you closer, or lay her legs across your lap, or vice versa, or… or anything, really. Carmine just likes to be close, both in public and behind closed doors.

Yearning- How does she cope when missing you?

Perfectly fine, then not at all. If you’re gone for a while, she can deal with it. You can’t be around all the time, she gets that. She still has Kieran to hang around with, so she’s not lonely or anything. But when days turn to weeks, she suddenly breaks. She becomes incredibly dramatic, lamenting about how much she misses you, about how you’ve been gone for so long. Practically jumps you the next time you meet.

Zeal- Is she willing to go to great lengths for your relationship? If so, in what ways?

I already stated that she would deck a man for you in a heartbeat so I’d say she’s willing to do a lot. If someone is clearly bothering you, she won’t ask any questions, nor will she hesitate. If you're not uncomfortable or in distress when asking her to do something, though, she might complain about it. She’ll still do it, even if she doesn’t really want to, but she does ask to be compensated in affection.

[jaemified]

major, minor, and the things in between - nishimura riki

"are we friends, lovers, or whatevers in between?"

pairing ; nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre ; slice of life, enemies to lovers-ish (y/ns mean to riki smh), romance, drama, fluff, small angst, non idol au

warnings ; swearing, drinking, brief mention of blood (someone gets cut), mention of offing yourself but its just niki making a joke

wordcount ; 7.0k

synopsis ; though never quite well acquainted, sim y/n had always felt strongly against nishimura riki, until her brother jake had forced them to get along. but, what was meant to have them get closer turns into something a little more.

note (5/29) - there isnt rlly much mention of jake/nikis actual siblings but for one scene theirs like additional (baby) siblings

note (7/10) - its finally here!! im a little upset it took me 2 months to write 7k since i used to be able to write 4k in 8hrs but summer has been kicking my ass so im glad its out despite being 10 days past release date

taglist 🏷️ ; @stinkoscope @asyleums

read below the cut !

"'when im with you, i.. im so happy. i like you, na bora!' 'i like you. i like you too! i really really like you!'" y/n cried at her computer screen, rewatching 20th century girl for the 2nd time this week, before being so rudely interrupted by her brothers presence, bugging her with the same, repetitive question. the same question hes been asking for years on end now.

"the guys are coming over and of course you know niki is gonna be here as well. i want you to talk to him. why cant you just be friends?"

"id appreciate it a lot if youd leave, this is my space."

"i dont know if you noticed, but this is a small flat with not much room to move around. its not only you living here you know." jake reminded.

of course y/n knew there was limited space, she knew the moment she first realized she had already circled about the unit, trying to escape her brothers nagging.

"if you know theres not enough room for you and me then what makes you think theres room to accommodate an additional 6 other grown ass men. go to your room, im doing homework.'

'annoying..'

"you were literally just crying watching 20th century girl milliseconds before i walked in, and im not asking much y/n! all i want is for you to talk to him, even pretend like youre getting along, thats it!" jake remarked, before catching the pillow y/n attempted to throw at his face.

'so damn annoying.' y/n thought, growing more and more annoyed by her brothers constant nagging as each second passed.

"whats so hard about getting along with niki? hes a good kid!" jake complained. since his little sister couldnt get along with one of his best friends, it made even the intimate gatherings.. unpleasantly awkward.

"hes annoying, like you are being right now."

"no, why do you really hate him so much."

"i dont know! he just reminds me of someone i guess? and he always cheated on projects back in middle school. even stole my ideas so he could make it look like im in the wrong."

"thats it? youre holding a grudge over him just being a middle school kid from, what, 5 years ago? cmon, theres gotta be something better then that. not to mention even if there wasnt, that makes you sound hella dumb holding a grudge from the 7th grade when youre graduating next year."

y/n thought to herself. of course there was another reason, but it seemed unnecessary to bring up. and she also just didnt want to share it with jake. or maybe, it wasnt the right reason after all.

"well hes cocky as hell and is still a better dancer, basketball player, volleyball player then i, not to mention ive been playing longer and layla likes him more then she likes me!"

"thats your fault youre never home, laylas just more used to him. and me. i am clearly her favorite between you and i."

"more like his fault hes practically living in my apartment cause hes never at his own home. and how can she be more used to him when ive known her since way before she met riki.."

"tough luck." jake pat y/n on the head on his way out before shutting the door.

__________________________________________

the sound of the doorbell awoke y/n from her, well, what was meant to be a quick nap (which later turned into a 4 hour sleep). just as she slowly got out of bed to answer it, she heard jake yell from down the hall, "ive got it! make sure you dont look stupid or anything in front of my friends!"

she rolled her eyes and climbed back into bed, thinking about her outfit. standard pajamas, plaid shorts and a black tee (which probably wasnt even hers). she thought about how the one person out of the 6 she didnt want to see would be out there. truth be told, even she herself didnt know the best explanation as to why she hated riki so much. y/n figured it was because of a little mishap back during freshmen year and she just couldnt bring herself to apologize for everything that had been said during that time, so she forced herself to continue hating him. 'yeah, seems about right.'

the sound of the door opening caught her attention and the next thing she knew, there was a boy in a cream essentials hoodie jumping onto her.

"oh shit, what the f-"

"hi y/nnn!" sunoo smiled, carefully getting off his best friend.

y/n was in joy once she realized who it was, and brought him into a tight hug.

"hey sunoo! god it feels like forever since i last saw you!"

it was really only a week.

"i know right! its been too long!"

she smiled, no matter what mood she was in, sunoo always was the sunshine in the rain.

"so, whos here?"

"oh, you know the usual. sunghoon, heeseung, jake, and jay hyung. niki and jungwon are supposed to be setting up something in the courtyard."

"setting up what?"

"a volleyball net. jake was on nikis ass all week and wanted him to 1v1 you while we all played basketball. jungwon just wanted to help however he could, hes been tired all week from his job and the dance program."

no fucking way.

"youre saying i have to be alone, with nishimura riki? hell no!"

"isnt it great?" "this is a disaster!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"how is that bad?" "how is this good?!"

sunoo signaled for y/n to continue first. "i just cant stand riki. jakes been on my ass to talk to him but i didnt think hed actually talk to him, or that hed even listen either."

"seriously? i always thought you had a thing for him. i mean, you look good together, you both share mainly the same interests, mainly the same circle, not to mention the undeniable love you have when your eyes meet-"

"okay thats enough! you know what, how bout we go outside, im hungry anyway."

sunoo shrugged and went along with y/n down the hall.

he was slightly surprised when he saw niki and jungwon sitting on the couch, having a sip of their drinks.

"back already? i thought you were setting up the nets."

"yeah, but it was easier then expected. and we didnt even need to go to the lobby for the stuff. it was all already in the courtyard." jungwon told the two with a smile, proud of their work.

"y/n." niki looked at her with that stupid grin she had always hated.

"nishimura."

"i didnt know youd be here." he observed, ignoring how she had addressed him by his last name instead of niki, or riki.

she scoffed, crossing her arms.

"i live here dipshit. you think id run away just cause i knew you were coming?"

niki got up from his seat and walked closer, and closer, until their faces were mere centimeters away.

"just like you ran from all our problems in freshmen year huh?"

"you realize it was all because of what you did, dont you?"

it took niki a minute to notice how close they were. he looked down at her lips before realizing what sunoo and jungwon were saying in the background. "are they about to kiss?"

"hell no!" y/n and niki both yelled out in unison, quickly pushing away from each other.

"whatever. i need to use the bathroom, i cant stand seeing your face." she remarked to niki.

as soon as y/n closed the bathroom door, she let out a breath she never knew she was holding in, slowly trying to register what had just happened. 'did i really almost kiss him.'

minutes after being stuck in the bathroom for so long, she left and walked into the main living space, only to notice everyone was gone.

well, almost everyone.

"are you serious."

y/n dryly stared at the boy sitting on her couch, in her spot, watching her favorite show.

"i forgot you were still here." niki yawned.

"where is everyone?"

"did you seriously not hear them say theyre gonna get food and that theyll be back in.. three hours or more?"

"three hours or more? it does not take that long to get food, youre fucking with me." y/n walked into hers and jakes individual bedrooms to see if anyone was hiding from her, to her dismay, niki wasnt lying.

"it does if youre getting food from busan."

"why the fuck are they going all the way to busan for food??"

"language! my young ears cant take this!"

"shut up nishimura youre only 11 days younger."

"more like 11 years at heart cause you act like a grumpy old lady all the time.."

"whatd you just call me?"

"nothing!"

"so why are they going all the way to busan for food again?" y/n reminded, getting niki back on track.

"cause they got a friend whos house is down there and hes in town for the weekend, they said theyll bring us home our own order."

y/n walked into the kitchen, rummaging for food.

"what are you doing now?"

"looking for food, im gonna die if i see your ugly ass face any longer."

"what are you on about 'ugly'? girls at school love this face."

"and apparently you loved those girls too much in return.."

niki got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen bar, sitting down. "are you still mad at me about that?"

she stopped what she was doing and looked at niki, not saying anything, hoping it was enough of an answer.

"so you are." 'so he isnt all that dumb'

"look, i didnt know she had bad intentions, and you were right, i shouldve listened to you. but you really have to stop avoiding me. how was i supposed to tell you i didnt realize what she was trying to do if you keep running away?"

"how do you not realize no matter how many times i warned you?"

"i thought you did it because you were jealous."

"i did it because i loved you!"

niki froze, thinking he was crazy, thinking maybe he hadnt heard right.

"you what?"

"past tense. loved, not love. and how could you think so badly of me? we were supposed to trust each other, always tell the truth, and you thought i told you she would end up using you was because you thought i was jealous? how could you?"

he sighed, thinking about what he had done, realizing how badly he had mistreated y/n in the past, realizing there was no reversing it. he walked into the kitchen where y/n was, backing her into the corner as the kitchen was just as small as the apartment itself.

"get away from me!" she yelled, throwing ramen packet after ramen packet at niki.

"no. i know i havent been the best to you-" "more like you know youve been the worst."

niki glared at y/n.

"-and i know theres no reversing it. i realize i cant undo the past, but what i can do, is fix our future. i want to show you i can be better to you then i was then. we can be what we used to be before, us. our spark."

"there is no us, or we, or, our. but maybe just you, caught up in your daydreams." y/n pushed niki out the way, and walked out the kitchen, not noticing she was slowly being followed.

"i loved you too you know. except for the fact that i still do."

"can you just please leave." she turned around, now facing him.

her vision blurred, head dizzy, face stained, all as her glass like tears trickled down her cheeks.

"hey, its okay. dont cry."

"get away from me!"

niki attempted to hug y/n as she fought against him, trying to run from his grasp, struggling to no avail. she eventually fell still in his hold, forgetting its natural warmth and comfort.

"im sorry for everything." was the last thing y/n heard before falling asleep, growing tired and stressed from everything that had just happened.

__________________________________________

it was late at night by the time everyone else had come back, 2am to be exact. traffic was unusually heavy though it was a saturday night, not to mention the designated driver and his understudy (heeseung and sunghoon. yikes, scary night) ended up being the most wasted while everyone else was still tipsy. poor jungwon, still tired from a 4 hour nap after being on 2 hours of sleep all day, had to drive everyone through the slow traffic.

jake, who was slightly sobering up, turned on the lights in the dark room and dimmed them as his head was still throbbing. he walked into the living room and saw y/n, fast asleep with her head on nikis shoulder with his arm around her as he finished the rest of avengers endgame.

jake knew his sister well enough to know she had been crying once he focused on her puffy red eyes. but, it was a sweet moment, y/n was passed out, niki was barely conscious, and everyone was painfully drunk or achey. he figured he would just yell at riki for whatever happened in the morning.

sunghoon and heeseung ran into the kitchen (as best they could without tipping over) for water, jungwon had knocked out as soon as he sat down in the chair next to y/n, jay was busy trying to figure out how to use jakes water filter, and sunoo was sitting at the kitchen bar eating a pudding cup.

jay called for jakes help, just as his eyes had fluttered shut. begrudgingly so, jake got up and helped the three boys it the kitchen. "you press the bottom button, not the top button. the top is for ice."

"thanks." "yeah whatever."

"i know youre tired hyung, but so are we. where are we all supposed to sleep?" sunoo quietly asked, putting his hand on jakes shoulder.

he thought, looking at the three sprawled out in the living room, and the three bubbling nonsense in the kitchen. "jay and sunghoon can stay with me, ill move niki and y/n to her room, you can stay in the living room with jungwon and heeseung hyung. but move jungwon to the couch since he drove everyone."

"thanks-" sunoo cut himself off as he heard the sound of jakes receding footsteps.

__________________________________________

morning came, and though it wasnt a good one, y/n wanted to remedy that. or, remedy the nasty hangover she knew everyone would be experiencing.

she had woken up with her eyes puffy and red, and even though she didnt want to get up she knew she would have to eventually.

"is that hangover soup i smell?" jake asked tiredly, rubbing his eyes as he walked out his room.

"well i know riki doesnt know how to cook and jungwons still asleep. so who else would be making it?" y/n flashed a tired smile, pouring a serving for jake.

"so, why were you crying last night? and dont say you werent or that you just didnt sleep well. ive lived with you long enough now to tell the difference between your 'i didnt get enough sleep' eyes, and your 'i was crying pretty hard' eyes." he interrogated as he took a big sip of the soup. so good he almost felt better already.

"what did he tell you? or were you watching me?"

"he didnt tell me anything, he was already asleep by the time we came back. i just saw the look on your face and knew."

"just reminiscing on some bad times is all."

jake raised a brow at his sister, taking another sip.

"you dont have to tell me now if you dont want to. but i do want to hear about everything. later. when my head isnt pounding like when i heard mom push you out in the emergency room. after i take a nap. and when youve bought jungwon some coffee."

"me? why do i have to buy him coffee? im not the one who drove him because the designated drivers were too wasted."

"we typically treat him to an iced americano since hes always up taking care of us when were drunk, but we havent gotten this wasted in a while. and he spent so long getting sunghoon out the house, not to mention the long drive to the point he ended up falling asleep as soon as we got back."

y/n thought about it before mumbling a, "tough luck" to jake, patting him on the back before walking into her bedroom.

she was met with the sight of niki making the bed as she walked in. "when did you wake up?" she quietly asked.

"not too long ago, you?"

"about an hour ago. i had to cook for them."

"ah. did you sleep well? i know sleeping upright on the couch mustve been a lot less comfortable then this."

"i guess. i dont remember waking up to walk here though. jake probably carried me."

"he was way wasted, snoring loudly way before i woke up. how else do you think you got here?"

it took a minute for it to click in y/ns mind when she realized it was niki who took her to the room and slept next to her. this whole time, she thought it was her brother who lent his own room to his friends.

"of course not, he just asked me to help or make sure you got to bed safely and that i could stay with you since there was nowhere else."

'that bastard.. ill kill him one of these days. im surprised i havent already.' she spoke to herself in her head.

"so. are we good now?" niki questioned, walking over to the other side of the room.

"how can you ask me such a thing after making me relive one of the worst memories of high school ive ever had?"

"it wasnt my intention. i was just trying to explain-" "theres nothing to explain when i had already given you multiple warnings. thats on you."

y/n threw a pillow at niki and walked away, back outside.

"what was that all about?" sunghoon asked, taking a sip of the coffee he had just made. 'where did he get silk pajamas from. are- are those mine?'

"what?"

"not to bother, but i mean, you were kind of yelling." heeseung explained to y/n.

she let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead in stress.

"i dont want to talk about it right now. i- actually. you know what? ill be back."

"where are you going?" sunoo asked y/n, following her to her room just as niki walked out.

"somewhere, not sure yet. dont follow me."

"i wont, i know how much you value your alone time but- oh youre changing. hold on ill turn around. but please be safe. when will you be back?"

sunoo turned back around and saw she had changed into beige cargos and a white crop top. realizing he was staring, he looked around the room, before a certain picture caught his eyes. he walked closer to get a better look. it was baby jake feeding yogurt to baby y/n. 'awe, they were always close werent they.' he hadnt even realized y/n was talking to him, and by the time he faced where y/n was standing, she had already left out the front door.

y/n🤨; srry, u were so immersed in that picture of jake and i as kids, but i rlly wanted to leave. i cant handle being around niki. see u l8r

sunoo😴 ; no worries, have fun, stay safe, and dont take any candy from strangers lol

__________________________________________

y/n drives to her favorite cafe she always used to visit with her brother, mama han's. she sits down at the bar and scrolls deep into her camera roll, coming across some mundane memories of her and riki back when they were close.

"what can i get you, hun?" the waitress, jiwoo, asked with a small grin. she didnt look to be any younger than 40 something now, compared to the last time she visited the spot. jiwoo was always the waitress here, even served the two frequently in their childhood when they visited from australia.

"just a vanilla shake is all. extra whip please."

"sweetie, arent you lactose? it must be pretty bad if you want extra dairy."

"yeah, it is. but, im not comfortable talking about it at the moment if thats alright."

"of course it is. just hope youre doing okay." jiwoo pat y/n on the shoulder, before reaching down to get the ingredients.

"hows your brother? havent seen either one of you in a while."

"hes well, a little hungover, but hes fine."

jiwoo laughed as she poured milk into the blender. "of course. what more to expect from your brother. well, how are you? i realized i didnt really ask."

"im alright. and, do you remember niki?"

"little niki from when you were kids? the one you used to like- oh dear, dont tell me hes the reason as to why youre so down?"

"long story, but yeah. its fine though, ill deal with it. but what about you, whats going on? did you ever pursue your dream as an actress?"

"no, and i regret not going for it. i didnt get to be in stairway to heaven, but shinhye and taehee did though. which is why you need to go for what you want, otherwise you really will regret it." jiwoo advised, adding the cherry on top of the extra whip prior to sliding the glass over to y/n.

"so i should forgive him?"

"if its what you want. though i dont know the backstory, i do know that as long as its something you want then its worth a shot. the worst he can say is no, you know?"

"yeah.. oh and jiwoo, can i get a chocolate shake to go?"

"no problem, just give me 4 minutes. and- oh dont worry about it, put your card away! its on the house."

___________________________________________

y/n heard her phone buzz in the center console as she pulled into an empty parking lot. she turned the engine off the car and pulled out her phone.

sim jaeyun ; Can you come home

Y/n Sim ; can u stop using caps

sim jaeyun ; I don't think it matters but okay

sim jaeyun ; can you stop disappearing whenever you're mad at someone

Y/n Sim ; can you change my name so its not in caps

sim jaeyun ; can you stop changing the topic and just drive back because niki wants to talk to you and i was getting worried

Y/n Sim ; can u change my name

'sim jaeyun' has changed your display name to 'y/n sim'

y/n sim ; i bought u a shake from jiwoos

sim jaeyun ; no you didn't she probably got it to you for free

y/n sim ; cz im her fav sim

sim jaeyun ; im going to tell all the guys about how you pissed yourself at disneyland on splash mountain

y/n sim ; driving home rn

sim jaeyun ; no texting while driving love u

y/n sim ; lyt

she let out a small laugh at her brothers texts. she quickly got out the car, taking some pictures of the sunset for her instagram, and posting it, before driving out as the milkshake was beginning to melt.

niki got the alert y/n had posted and pressed the notification at the top of his screen. he didnt miss how the caption referenced wave to earth as it was always their favorite band to listen to together.

@/05sim_y/nn ; how can my day be bad when im with u? - [9m ago]

liked by @/02sim_ikeuu, @/suniskim, and 99 others - 20 comments

@/rikimura has liked this post ! [now]

___________________________________________

after getting back home and taking a relaxing shower (thanks to everyone leaving 2 hours prior), y/n had continued to keep herself up at night for the past week before deciding it was time to talk to riki.

she pushed her feelings aside, waking up on a random wednesday morning at the crack of dawn then randomly told herself 'ive got to do this, for my brothers sake and our friend group.' (or so she unconvincingly tried to convince herself, but thats already another thing she didnt want to get into at the moment) y/n quickly threw on whatever clothes she could gather laying about the floor, then ran to grab her car keys and hurry out the door.

as soon as she swung the big piece of metal open, she was met with the familiar sight of nishimura riki knowing when hes done wrong, his guilty face, with his hand raised and ready to knock.

"what are you doing here at the ass crack of dawn?"

"what are you doing ready to run out your apartment like its the olympics as the ass crack of dawn?" he responded to her question with a question, with the intent of knowing how much she hated it.

"actually, i was about to leave to see you. i think its time we had a talk. you know, after my.. moment, that i had last week."

"yeah. i know. its not your fault i realize now, or, im telling you that but ive realized it since the moment i lost you. i think-"

niki was interrupted by jake shouting from across the flat, "if youre gonna finally have this talk i think you should go somewhere else! can you leave soon? 'cause my girlfriends gonna come over at like 12!"

"i seriously doubt any place is open for us to be going to at 5:41 in the morning." y/n yelled in response.

"you know well mama han's is open now, and jiwoo works day and night, just go there so i can be alone!" "for 7 hours?"

niki laughed in response as he registered what jake and y/n were arguing over.

"what girlfriend?-" "-talking stage, technically, but he says theyre dating because she accidentally kissed his cheek on their first date when reaching to grab something near him."

"i remember her lips on my skin like it was yesterday, meanwhile you have yet to kiss niki." jake scoffed in english, the words flowing smoothly off his tongue with his accent before walking closer towards where y/n was standing.

"gross. if anything her accidentally very barely brushing her lips against your stupid face is the only action youll ever be getting if you keep trying to get rid of your one and only favorite little sister." y/n muttered in response, slightly ignoring niki muttering about how he thinks y/ns accent sounds cute.

"really?"

-

and so y/n found herself driving to mama han's cafe with niki after jake called their eldest brother, complaining she should listen to him because shes younger and if she wouldnt listen to jake himself then maybe she would listen to her older-older brother.

"you should listen to your older siblings but jake, if you had someone coming over you shouldve told her in advance. and what are you even gonna do alone for 6 hours??"

after being seated and placing their orders, niki brought back the conversation from earlier that had sort of been killed by jake.

"i get it, youre mad at me, and i shouldve listened to you. i know i fucked up and i know you see it too. i get it if you dont want to forgive me yet, or if you ever even will. but when you decide we could be good, im always here for you."

"why would i be here if i hadnt been prepared to forgive you?"

"huh?"

"i seriously question how dense you are sometimes."

"thanks for believing in me."

"no problem, but seriously. i forgive you. as much as i hate to admit it since i know youll use it against me, but i kinda missed having you around. i mean, you were my first love among other things but you were also one of my first and closest friends. it wont always be the same but im sure if we try enough we can get pretty damn close."

"god have you always been so philosophical?"

the two burst into laughter together, smiling as they took a sip of their milkshakes, reminiscing on the times they had spent together in their earlier high school years. it was moments like these that they has missed the most.

by far the most fun together (said niki), by far the most fun theyve had in a while (said y/n) after having spent the morning together, discussing and going over whats happened in the past few hours before going to pay. "ive got it," niki said, pulling out his card. "its the least i can do."

"thank you for today. i know i was hard on you but i needed this."

"no worries, i think ive owed you for a long time now right?"

"i need to do something in here real quick. you mind waiting in the car?"

"wait are you gonna be okay? i dont wanna leave you here alone."

"im a regular here, i know the people. its fine."

"are you sure?"

"if you go ill let you have the aux."

thats all it took for niki to run straight for the car, rushing to open the door.

y/n laughed as she saw him waving from the passengers seat, before going to talk to jiwoo who was busy wiping down the counters. she took a seat at the bar and felt comfort as jiwoo flashed the same smile she always would throughout y/ns childhood.

"thats a hell of a boy youve got there. special one isnt he?"

"you could say that in the very least. hes definitely special to me though."

"thats the boy you were tellin my sister about? he aint from round here, that right?" an distinct, familiar, voice spoke from the back kitchen.

"auntie jiwon?" y/n questioned in shock.

jiwon is jiwoos sister, she also used to work at the cafe just as much as jiwoo did. had been a favoritre of the customers including the sims themselves before moving to the countryside, only popping up on occasion. jake would call jiwon auntie since she was older and it had also grown on y/n.

"thats my name isnt it?" she chuckled as y/n ran up to hug her.

"wow, i cant believe it. i havent seen you in like, 7 years!"

"been a long time right? well, im just down here for a short while before i gotta go back. just here for a weddin and thought to visit my sister at work."

"thats great auntie, too bad you arent here for longer."

"yeah, well. thats what happens when you get 3 divorces and run out of money, that right jiwoo? but, seriously, whats with that boy of yours? he dont seem to be from here."

"hes not, hes from japan, for the dance academy we all go to."

"that explains a bunch. i always knew youd be a dance. you have quite the physique for it, no?"

jiwoo interrupted jiwon from rambling on the way she always would, quickly seeing y/ns desire to leave as she has other things to tend to.

"alright well, im sure y/n has plenty of things to do as do we, so we all really should be going. its about time for the regulars to start coming in." jiwoo awkwardly laughed as she too seemingly forgot her sisters idiosyncratic personality.

"you dont want to spend time with your auntie jiwon is it? kids nowadays have no sort of respect for their elders. you could drive a preacher to drink!"

y/n awkwardly cleared her throat and put on a smile, frozen in a sort of way as auntie jiwon hadnt seemed to be the same as she was 8 years ago.

"oh im only joking now! go on then, ill just see you in another 8 years." she sighed, overexaggerating the moment.

"its not like youre her real aunt anyway." jiwoo muttered, yet jiwon heard it.

"like your supposed to be? what are you to her anyway?"

"someone whos around of course! i practically raised her and babysitted her on top of running a restaurant with my own children whenever her parents would be in office from dusk till dawn with her brother busy at school with his own life."

"i was there too you know! she would tell me things she never told you."

"she only told you things because you made her! she was scared of you!" jiwoo rolled her eyes at jiwon before quickly gesturing for y/n to go.

"what are you doing- where is she going?" "somewhere where youre not."

-

as y/n go back into the car, she slightly scared niki in the middle of a game.

"what happened in there? looked kinda tense. never seen the other lady before."

"jiwoos sister. shes kinda crazy and possessive and scary. didnt even know she came back."

"maybe we should go.. shes kinda walking towards the car so i suggest to step on the gas."

"shit- shes what??"

------------------------------------------------------

within the next few months, niki and y/n drew closer to one another like they were before.

it was only a matter of time before their unresolved feelings for one another began to surface, yet they continued to push it down with all their might, not wanting to ruin anything like before.

so here y/n was, watching some random kdrama out of boredom, completely uninterested before she received a text from niki.

nishimura ; help

sim ; with what

nishimura ; baysitinf

sim ; the fuck

nishimura ; hold - my brother just took my phone

sim ; babysitting?

nishimura ; yes pls

nishimura ; jake literally js dropped off ur sister here while my brother was having a hyper thingy

nishimura ; hes just very hyper

nishimura ; send a swat team.

sim ; i dont rlly wanna watch sarang tho😐

nishimura ; BUT ITS UR SISTER??

sim ; yea but she’s a headache i have to deal with that like every weekend

sim ; i gave her to jake so i can have a free day just for her to bounce back to me😒 sim ; i hate guys named jake

nishimura ; thats what u get for abandoning a 5 year old

sim ; then im not helping

nishimura ; that lego set i bought you arrived today

sim ; see u in 20

and so here y/n found herself driving towards nikis apartment, reminding herself to lecture her brother once they both get home.

“good thing you came otherwise i mightve actually killed myself.”

“this better be good, i dropped crash landing on you for this.”

with that, niki stepped aside to point at the kids behind him without breaking eye contact with y/n, not wanting to look inside only to furrow his brows as she tilted her head in confusion.

“is this a joke?” she scoffed.

“what are you talking about?” his jaw dropped once he saw sarang and hiro getting along together just fine, completing some puzzle together. “i swear they werent getting along and hiro was just bouncing off the walls, plus sarang was like having a meltdown about ice cream!”

y/n slightly grinned then spoke, “you look fine. they look more then fine. you don’t need my help. did you just want an excuse to see me?”

“no! i- i mean i kinda wanted to see you but that’s not why- i, ughh!”

y/n held back a small laugh at nikis frustration before she heard the two kids watching them giggle adoringly at their older siblings.

“riki has a girlfriend!” “y/n has a boyfriend!” hiro and sarang exclaimed in excitement.

“im going home.”

“absolutely not.” y/n groaned in annoyance while niki pulled her into the house by grabbing onto her shoulder.

“so.” he awkwardly started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously with the palm of his hand.

“so??”

“about yesterday.”

“what about it.”

“we’re good right?”

“of course we are.” she reassured.

just as niki was able to reply, sarang began to cry loudly, like she saw a monster in her closet or something.

“what happened?”

“i cut myself!” she cried, showing the skin between her fingers. her and hiro had been doing small arts and crafts for the past hour, so she has hurt herself with the scissors.

“just put a bandaid on and ice it.” y/n rolled her eyes, shaking her head while not even bothering to look up from her phone.

“you’re so mean y/n unnie!” sarang pouted before holding her ‘injured’ hand up to nikis face.

“what is this, the school nurse? you gotta be a more helpful sister then that.”

“i am helpful. i asked her what happened then gave her a solution.”

“but you were so mean to her.”

“im teaching her to be tough! our parents were hard on me and my brothers, so we have to be hard on her.”

“but you aren’t your parents. you’re y/n.”

“but what if i don’t want to be just y/n?”

“well, then that’s not something you can control. you’re you whether you like it or not. you gotta learn to accept life as it is. that’s what really being hard on yourself is, and that’s what it does to you.”

niki goes over to sarang to pick her up and carry her over to the kitchen. he sets her on the counter and grabs a pastel flower print bandaid before placing a small kiss onto where he placed the bandaid.

he coos at her lovingly, with him who’d always seen her as his own sister having had watching her grow up since she was born despite her not really remembering much of him.

y/n felt her heart melt as she saw how good he was with her baby sister.

she got up from her seat to go over where they were, wrapping her arms around nikis waist to envelop him with into a warm back hug, pressing her head into the space between his shoulder and neck, letting it rest there.

“mean unnie.” sarang stuck out her tongue at y/n, pushing her face away from niki as she stuck out her tongue back.

“what are you, 5?”

“no but she is.”

niki sighed before pulling away (he really didnt want to but you didnt need to know that) grabbing his car keys, and picking up his brother.

“let’s go for some ice cream.”

so here you were, sitting at the local ice cream parlor together.

niki’s face turned as he watched you absolutely devour those three scoops (scoups) of mint chip.

“i seriously dont see how you could eat that. it tastes like toothpaste.”

“why are you talking when you’re eating plain vanilla.”

“hey, sometimes basic is better!”

“well you don’t have to like mint then. ‘cause me and this kid do!” she jokingly replied, hugging said kid (hiro) while niki and sarang rolled their eyes with their vanilla cones.

“hate to be a bother, but you guys are such a cute little family. youre just like me with my kids when they were still young. and, little girl, you really have your fathers eyes.” an elder women from a table across the parlor smiled, patting y/n and niki on the shoulder as she ignored her husbands remarks “stop disturbing the little couple!”

“do we really look like a family?”

“sort of, if you really think about it.”

“okay but she had to be lying because your eyes look nothing like sarangs.”

“i mean.. if you look closely enough.”

“you aren’t even korean!”

they laughed together, for the first time in a while.

“okay, but on a serious note. what are we? are we friends, lovers, or whatever’s in between?”

“i mean.. I guess for now, in between.”

“please date y/n unnie! shes sooo lonely and boring.” sarang interrupted, tugging on nikis sleeve.

“yeah! and i want more playdates with sarang!” hiro pouted, looking up with puppy eyes at y/n.

niki laughed at the kids’ reactions, before taking y/ns hand into his.

“well, no matter what you decide, let’s see where this takes us. they seem to be up for it anyway.”

“you’re right. alright, fine. but if you fuck this up again, you realize you’re not getting another chance, right?”

“i promise i won’t hurt you again. it already cost me everything last time.”

“glad you’re aware.” she bitterly mumbled.

“so. you will date me then?”

“ill think about it.”

[kirarisoul]

my ‘boyfriend’

quackity x reader

summary: you think your father will disapprove of your boyfriend, alex. so, he comes up with a plan.

i was thinking of 2019/18 alex while writing this! enjoy 😙

///

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T LIKE ME?!” is screamed through the phone by your boyfriend, making you pull it away from your ear, to prevent yourself from losing hearing.

“I don’t know.. he just.. isn’t.. fond of you?”

“but why? i’m so cute and handsome and sexy!”

“I think it’d be weirder if my dad thought you were sexy, babe.”

you hear him huff into the other side of the phone and know that’s your cue to comfort him.

“he’ll come around eventually, alex! he’s not gonna stop me from seeing you!”

“i know, i know, but.. how did he even form this horrible preconception of me?” he says, dramatically. you can practically see him with his hand over his heart in mock despair.

“well, i thought i’d ease him into it, and i put a stream of yours on the tv, it was that one, where you looked all cute with your little hat and thanos toy an-“

“yeah, yeah, i know what one you’re talking about.” you can hear the happy smile in his voice from your description of him.

“anyways, he didn’t have very good feelings towards you. he said you were loud and that streaming isn’t a proper job.. i didn’t even tell him i knew you yet.” you sigh into the phone.

“it is a job!? tell him i’m gonna go to law school as well!”

“i did tell him! he just.. couldn’t look past the streaming i guess. and he still doesn’t know we’re dating.”

“then tell him! you can’t hide me forever, baby.” he says smugly.

“yeah i will but.. he wants you to come for dinner. tonight. and if he sees it’s you i dunno what he’ll do! he has a temper, y’know.”

“hm.. wait.. i have an idea..” he says.

“what?”

///

“so, you’re my daughters boyfriend?” your dad asks one of the two boys waiting outside the door of your house, looming over them.

“y-yes sir..” the boy next to alex says.

“and you are?” your dad turns to alex.

“his friend.” alex smiles.

“alright.. why are you here?”

“..moral support?” alex says, pulling on his sleeves nervously.

a pause.

“oh, come in, come in, boys!” your mom says from behind your father.

///

the silence at the dinner table is deafening. it’s your father at the head of the table, your mother on his left, and your ‘boyfriend’ on his right. next to your ‘boyfriend’ is alex, your boyfriend.

you lean in.

“this is your plan?” you whisper yell into alex’s ear.

“babe, trust me, it’ll work.”

“who the fuck is that?!”

“it’s my friend, lucas. he’s interning at a hospital, and he’s top of the class in every subject, your dad’ll love him.”

“okay, he’s not my boyfriend though! you are! he’s gonna find out soon enough.”

“just relax. i just wanna see how your dad really is before i show who i really am!”

“you’re gonna reveal yourself at this dinner? are you crazy? he’ll hate you even more!”

“it’s okay! it’ll go good, im charming, he’ll come around eventually.”

a kick from under the table shakes it, making the water in the jug ripple.

“ow!” alex whispers.

“you’re stupid. this is stupid.”

“hey i-!”

as everyone on the table watches silently at this whisper argument, your mom speaks up.

“let’s eat, shall we?” she says with a smile and your father uncrosses his arms and picks up his fork.

“so,” your father starts. “what’s your name?” he says to who he thinks is your boyfriend.

“lucas. sir. it’s lucas.”

“okay, lucas, do you have a job for the summer?”

“i-i have an internship. sir. in a hospital. the lab. in the hospital.” he says, in short sentences as if he’s trying to convince himself about the internship as well.

“okay.. and how are your grades?”

“good. sir.”

“alright. what are your future plans. how will you support my daughter? not that i expect this to last.”

“dad!” you slam your fork down.

“i-i wanna be a doctor. sir.” lucas says, his voice shaking.

“a doctor, that’s amazing!” your mom exclaims, sensing lucas’ nervousness.

lucas nods and smiles.

“you know, she was showing me this guy, around your age, that streams and makes videos online. i would never let my daughter date someone like that, with no future plans.” your dad laughs.

alex plays with his food.

you grip your fork.

///

dinner goes on in a tension so thick you could pick up your knife and cut a hole in it.

you speak up. “babe, can you pass me the salt?”

two hands reach for the salt shaker. lucas freezes and alex, oblivious, passes you the salt and goes back to eating. you father puts his glass down.

“what was that.” your father waves his hand around to gesture to the scene that just unfolded in front of him.

“dad i-“

alex looks up slowly as he realises his mistake.

“alex is my boyfriend!” you blurt out. “not lucas. the guy i showed you online is alex. he makes videos and streams but he’s really smart! and h-“

your dad laughs, “who-whose idea was that?!” he says in between breaths.

“why are you laughing dad?! this is serious!!” you yell.

then lucas laughs, then your mom laughs, and finally, alex starts laughing.

“why are you guys laughing? stop laughing!” you stand up and your chair screeches.

alex grabs your hand. “babe- babe! sit down!” he takes a breathe in between laughs. “it’s fine!”

you cross your arms as everyone laughs die down.

“honey, it’s okay. if you love him, i think that’s all that matters.” your mom says.

you look at your mom and nod, “dad?”

“if you love him and he loves you. i don’t see a problem.” you dad says, smiling at you and then looking at alex.

“so you’re the boyfriend?” your dad says to alex, and leans forward, ready to do his interrogations all over again.

///

[kazperthegh0st]

Hi. Im writing my fanfiction on here because writing a oneshot takes more than a month and i dont want to open google docs. (Will be on Ao3 when complete).

Summary: Sokka/Zuko where they want to go on a nice, relaxing vacation but Azula just got out of the mental hospital (again) and Zuko cant leave her by herself so Katara is paid to babysit her. (Modern Setting AU). Azula/Katara.

Ill reblog with updates as time goes on.

Actual fanfic begins here:

Zuko has no idea where Azula got the baseball bat. Thats his first concern. The second is this: What the hell happened to her hair?

“Hello, Zuzu,”she greeted. Then she pushed past him.

She showed up at his door at 4 in the morning with a red duffel bag over her shoulder and a black metal baseball bat with lightning decals in her left hand.

Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun. But her bangs. They were completely crooked and angled and an utter mess.

She had bright red headphones around her neck and Zuko could her some shitty metal music playing.

And all Zuko could think was what the fuck.

Azula collapsed onto his couch, dropping her belongings on the coffee table, propping her feet up on the armrest, and securing her headphones over her ears. She closed her eyes.

Zuko closed the door and took a deep breath.

“Hello, Azula. Why are you here? In my house. With me. Instead of… an insane asylum,” he questioned.

She didn’t respond, only nodded her head to the music filling her ears.

He poked her.

Her eyes opened and she glared at him.

“‘Relaxation is the key to a swift recovery’, Zuzu” she told him. He hated that she was quoting Iroh.

She removed her headphones.

“Do you need something?” She questioned.

“Why are you in my apartment, Azula?”

“Did you think i was going to sleep under a bridge like a homeless person? How pathetic do you think i am?” She rolled her eyes.

“Why aren’t you with Mai? Or Iroh? Or Ty lee, even?”

“Mai kicked me out. Ty lee wouldn’t answer her phone—probably on some stupid anti technology shtick because its ‘aura is off’. And Iroh gave me your address and said i was your problem until he got back from Japan. ‘Familial bonding or whatever’.”

“Iroh sent you?” Zuko felt betrayed.

“Yes, Zuzu.”

“Hes not coming back for another month.”

“Guess im your problem for another month, then”

“I have plans, college, a life, Azula! I cant have you living here! Im leaving for my own vacation in a week!”

“You dont want me in your life, Zuzu? Thats cruel. I thought you were the good sibling. Guess I was wrong for once.”

Zuko stalked off into his kitchen. His house was being corrupted by his evil sister because he couldn’t find it in himself to throw her out.

He couldn’t take it out on Iroh. His uncle worked so hard and needed this break.

He couldn’t take it out on his dad. That evil man was in a prison cell on the other side of the country.

He couldn’t take it out on Azula. It wasn’t really her fault she was the way she was. It was their dad’s fault for traumatizing his kids.

Azula was just as much of a victim as he was.

More will be added later and will eventually end up on Ao3.

[pink-tea]

could you write something with sub!beomgyu who acts jealous after you spent a little bit too much time with another txt member, he gets super pouty and possessive over you and you're not sure why until it finally clicks and you make it up to him? <33 it can be short! i love ur work, thank u for feeding us in the sub!txt drought

i am happy to keep the people fed!! as proven with my most recent overspending in buying txt albums and their recent deco kit (which i can't even regret, it's so fucking cute </3), making sure they have dinner on their tables frfr, but thank you so much for the compliments!! as for jealous clingy beomgyu yesyesyesyesyesyesy-

☆ very very very suggestive but it never actually gets to smut? idk how to rate this

☆ 1967 words (whoops) (i made up for how long it took me to post with the length)

☆ jealous beomgyu, hair pulling, tiny tiny leg riding/dry humping (im starting to notice a pattern of things that i like to write bye), mean talk but it's more condescending than actually mean

beomgyu knew it wasn't right for him to feel this jealous. i mean, seriously, there's no way you'd ever look at hueningkai the same way you looked at him. but still, he can't help the way he monitors your interactions with the maknae out of the corner of his eye.

it was just the way the two of you played around so much, so touchy. always light slaps on each other's arms, giggling and laughing right in front of him, and he smiles and laughs too because he loves you both so much, but he just can't help the thoughts creeping in. what if there was something going on? maybe you liked the idea of younger, taller men-

beomgyu almost wanted to kick himself for thinking that way. you wouldn't do that to him in a million years, and huenginkai wasn't that type of person either. but still, he winces at the curl of jealousy in his stomach as the two of you play around during your friday gaming sesh.

he hadn't even noticed he was staring until you did, catching his eye and giving him such a loving, happy smile that it made his stomach do flips. how could he ever doubt you?

"you okay?" you ask lightly, tilting your head and looking so content that he couldn't help but smile back.

"i'm doing great," he replies, doing his best not to side-eye the shit out of you and one of his closest friends for the rest of the night. to his credit, you didn't seem to notice anything, only pouting and kissing him sweetly once you had to go back to your own apartment.

he loves seeing you smile, he realizes (although it really wasn't anything new) as he watches you jokingly blow him a kiss goodbye. he catches it and cheesily tucks it in into his pocket, making you giggle. he just really really doesn't like anyone else to be the reason you smile.

and everything's fine until beomgyu starts acting weird enough for it to be brought to your attention.

"you haven't come over for our gaming fridays in a while!" hueningkai complains one day, the comment meant to be light and off-handed. but it makes you pause, hand stuck midway into a box of popsicles. you were here in the boys' dorm for the first time in weeks, waiting for beomgyu to finish getting ready to go to a new boba place that opened a little while ago.

you hadn't even noticed how many gaming fridays the two of you had missed, but now that you thought about it, it's definitely been more than 4 already. beomgyu had been insisting on dates a lot more recently, going out to eat or watching a movie, or maybe just chilling and cuddling on the couch—in your apartment. you didn't even notice the way the time was flying by, more invested in your boyfriend's pretty eyes, his soft lips trailing kisses down your neck and on your collarbone, fingertips pressing into your skin as he begs you to call him yours.

"huh, yeah, i guess it has been a while," you ponder, finally pulling out a popsicle before patting huenginkai's head with your free hand. "you can count on me being here next friday," you promise, ruffling his hair and giggling at his whines and protests. so caught up in your platonic affection for the boy, you didn't even notice beomgyu until his arms were wrapped around your waist, chin plopped on your shoulder.

"i'm ready now, let's go," he huffs, words muffled into your clothes. you halt your ministrations, biting down the last of your popsicle before giving hueningkai one last smile.

"alright, be a doll and throw this away for me please! thank you-" you shove the popsicle stick in huenginkai's hand, barely able to finish your words before beomgyu is tugging you towards the door. you let out a noise of surprise, but let your boyfriend drag you to the door as you frown in confusion. hastily returning hueningkai's worried wave of goodbye before you're out, you wonder what has beomgyu so riled up.

"woah, hey, is everything alright?" you question, stumbling a bit in your attempt to keep up with his pace. his grip on your hand is tight, possessive, but there's a pout on his lips. beomgyu's the type to pout cutely, trying to appeal to you or get on your nerves, but this time he seems genuinely upset.

he doesn't answer your question, and you fall into a heavy silence as you walk down the darkening street, the warm rays of sunset making beomgyu look pretty even when he's upset. you don't say anything until you're passing by your apartment (you really didn't live far from them).

tugging on the hand the still hasn't let go, you force him to look at you, irritated and not bothering to hide the glare in your eyes as you look at him for the first time in 7 minutes.

"what the hell is up with you?" you hiss, your aggravated tone visibly making beomgyu flinch as bothered look only worsens. he looks away from you, opting to stay silent as he stares at the brick walls of your apartment complex. your patience only thins, and beomgyu yelps as you harshly shake your hand out of grip.

"look, if you're upset then we don't have to go on this date, because i have no clue why you're even mad at me for-"

"i'm not mad at you," beomgyu grumbles, holding his discarded hand close to him as he still stubbornly refuses to make eye contact with you.

"then what is it," you sigh out, exasperated.

a few more beats of silence pass by before beomgyu lets out a noise of discomfort- embarrassment. he groans and brings up a hand to mess with his mullet, "it's just...i don't like how you keep spending so much time with hueningkai" he admits, ears burning red as he stares at the floor.

you stare at him, shock and just a bit of relief flooding through you. you finally let a long, tired sigh escape you. your boyfriend wasn't mad, he was just fucking stupid.

"come on," you command, turning around and starting to walk up the stairs to your apartment. you make it up a few steps before turning around, beomgyu watching you with wide and confused eyes. your own eyes narrow at the sight.

"now."

the tone of your voice makes beomgyu startle and hastily walk up the stairs behind you. he didn't mean to get you mad, he thinks sulkily. maybe you were mad at the fact that he was jealous, mad over the fact that he had the audacity to get possessive when he obviously didn't own you.

you feel his gloom behind you as you walk up to your apartment door, but don't say anything, opting for silence. it's only when your keys jangle to open the white door that there's finally any noise, and you motion beomgyu to go inside first once it swings open. he hesitates before stepping in, hearing the door eventually close behind him as you walk in as well.

he only has a few moments to acknowledge your presence before suddenly he's gasping as the wind gets partially knocked out of him, pinned against the door.

he wants to wince at the feeling of his back crashing against the wood, but he doesn't get much time to think as your lips crash onto his. he whimpers into your mouth, lips parting open to let you have your way with him as his arms drape over your shoulders and claw at your back. one of your hands grips at his waist, the other gripping his chin in order to lead the kiss where you want.

his lips are soft and you can faintly taste the honey from his lip balm, but it's not nearly as sweet as the feeling of beomgyu melting into your body. he manages to groan out your name as you pull back, tugging at his bottom lip with your teeth in a way that has him staring back at you with a pathetic expression.

you let go and his lip falls back into place with a wet 'pop' and you take this time to properly glare down (metaphorically, the bitch is 5'11 </3) at the man.

"jealous, huh?" you scoff, making beomgyu wince as he whines at your mean tone.

"you were just being really touchy with him! always giggling and shit during our gaming fridays," he huffed, his worries finally revealed. the mention of the gaming days makes your eye physically twitch. no wonder he's been scheduling friday dates all of a sudden, this brat.

"touchy? touchy how?" you press on, voice cold as you focus on making the man squirm under you. you roughly shove your leg in between his thighs, ripping a mix between a gasp and a moan from his throat as it presses against the half-hardness of his dick. "like this?" you ask, peering dangerously close at his expression as he pouts and hesitantly shakes his head no.

"not like that? what about this?" you reach up to grab a fistful of black hair and yank beomgyu's head back, earning a soft cry as his head thunks against the wood of your door. you suck and bite harshly at the sensitive skin of his neck, feeling him squirm in your hold as you force the flesh red and irritated. beomgyu doesn't know if he should focus on the throbbing pain in his scalp or on the way he's steadily getting turned on by your aggressiveness.

"probably not, huh," you comment, releasing his hair to softly grab at his chin again. his eyes are barely focused, and you almost want to coo at the pretty sight of his dazed look and spit covered lips. you fucking adored beomgyu, it almost offended you that he thought you'd be looking at other guys.

"still think i'd touch hueningkai like this? think i'd like having him here instead of you?" you ask harshly, seeing beomgyu wince as he tried to shake his head no despite the grasp you have on his hair. his vision starts to get blurry, and he realizes that his eyes have started to water up, but either you don't notice or don't care enough to stop talking.

"you've got some nerve to be accusing me of looking at other people the way i look at you, choi beomgyu," you scold, releasing his hair in order to grab his chin again and tilt his head up to look at you properly. "couldn't look at anyone else even if i tried, so fucking pretty that it hurts my feelings sometimes," you simper, attempting to sweet talk but it only makes beomgyu feel like he owes you an apology even more.

"m' sorry," he mumbles, head drooping in shame. you almost laugh at the sight, sighing affectionately before pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. beomgyu stills against your lips before crumbling at the affection, body melting against yours before he's gasping into your mouth. you can feel the way his back arches and his body presses into you, your knee pressing harshly against his clothed dick.

"it's ok, you know how to make it up to me," you smile, beomgyu's hair tickling your cheek as his head falls forward onto your shoulder. his hips slowly start to rock against your leg, precum staining his boxers at the friction—at the feeling of your body caging him in. you grab the arch of his back, roughly forcing his hips harder into you as he cries out your name against your neck.

guess you'd just have to reschedule your date for later.

[alex-procrastinates]

my thoughts on the magic potion

HELLO i am so sorry i havent done any finished art in ages. school is kicking my ass and probably will continue to kick my ass for a while yet, but i promise i am working on things! and i am very excited to get them finished! im just swamped with homework and kinda suck at time management lol

but in the meantime, i have a 17 page google doc where i put all my asterix headcanons when i think of them, so i thought i would share my ideas about how the magic potion works :D

The potion is said to increase someone’s strength tenfold. That means it only builds on the strength they already have.

This means the potion will work differently for different people, based on their original level of strength.

For most people, they have about the same average strength, so the potion will appear to have the same effect on them. This is also due to the fact that the potion is simply so powerful that everyone who drinks it is insanely strong relative to non-potion drinkers. However, in some cases, the differences are noticeable.

For example, Fulliautomatix would have more brute strength than, say, Cacofonix, when on the potion. Or Asterix would be able to run faster than Geriatrix when on the potion.

The potion builds on strengths the person already has - for Asterix, it makes him extremely fast, as he is already agile and a fast runner without it. For Cacofonix, it allows his voice to create more powerful soundwaves, which can even have physical effects. 

(Edit: As pointed out by @elkaos, this actually conflicts with some of the books, where the potion is shown to have the same effect on everyone, and that's relevant to the plot in some cases. I did sort of know this, but it slipped my mind somewhat while I was writing this post. So I guess I'll have to retcon either this idea or the events of books 3 and 12 from my headcanon. These headcanons are based on my own interpretation of Asterix, which is inspired by a lot of fanfics and other creators' ideas as well as the books. Personally I find the idea of the potion's effects varying from person to person more logical, as it's described as multiplying the drinker's strength tenfold. Although maybe the effect being the same has something to do with how it was developed? I've seen a fic where the secret ingredient of the potion is Vercingetorix's ashes - maybe it's something like that where the essence of a person is used in the potion and its effect is equivalent to that person's strength multiplied tenfold.)

The potion also increases a person’s durability - their bones, ligaments, tendons, organs and muscles are stronger and more resistant to damage. This is necessary to make sure that they don’t injure themselves by doing things like punching solid rock. 

Even if they do get injured, which can happen when they are faced with sharp blades, the potion also fills their system with adrenaline, which means they usually don’t feel and are not really affected by most injuries until after the potion wears off.

The potion also increases the drinker’s stamina and speed, although this also varies depending on the drinker’s non-potion-enhanced abilities.

Obelix is a special case. But why exactly did drinking a whole cauldron of potion make it have a permanent effect on him? The potion’s effects can’t be stacked by drinking more potion while you’re already under the effects. 

I suppose the quantity of potion does matter when determining how long the effects will last - the more potion is flowing through the drinker’s bloodstream, the longer it will take to dilute enough to not have an effect anymore.

Wait. If the potion flows through the drinker’s bloodstream, then how does it have an immediate effect? Digesting it would take at least a few hours.

I guess it might have some magical property that lets it sort of phase into any blood vessels it encounters? So maybe it just radiates out from the stomach, gets to the heart really quickly and starts being pumped around the body almost immediately.

So if Obelix drinks, like, his entire body weight in potion, it’s probably going to last long enough in a large enough quantity to spread and be infused into practically every part of his body, so that then his bone marrow actually starts to make potion-infused blood. 

Therefore, every cell that blood flows to, which is basically every cell in his body, is enhanced by the potion, so it becomes an actual part of his biological composition. His blood, muscles, organs, bone marrow, fat, saliva, even his stomach acid is infused with magic potion. The only things that aren’t are his hair and nails.

This is why the permanent effects of the potion are so important to his survival. There would have been a couple of years where they could have gotten it to wear off, but that would probably have involved bloodletting or something, and obviously they’re not going to do that to a six-year-old kid. It doesn’t cause him any adverse effects, anyway, so it’s not something that needs to be reversed. He’ll just have to learn to control his strength.

He wasn’t the strongest before he fell into the potion, but because of how the potion became an actual part of his muscle tissue, he was still able to grow his muscles like a normal person would - just with much heavier weights, like menhirs. Which he has probably been lifting and carrying nearly every day since about his mid-teens. Also because the potion is part of his bone marrow and the blood his body makes is naturally infused with the potion, it creates a sort of positive feedback loop where the effects of the potion, and therefore his strength, keep increasing. This is why he seems to be stronger than the other villagers on the potion, and why his feats of strength increase in magnitude across the series, until Chariot Race when he’s able to catch the huge lump of volcanic rock that explodes out of Mt Vesuvius.

The potion also increased his durability to a very high level. His bones are as hard as granite, and his skin is also quite thick and resistant to cuts. He can still get hurt, but it takes a lot, and almost never happens. This is also why he is so mobile and flexible despite being obese. 

Obelix is a bit of an extreme case, but for everyone who drinks the potion regularly (mostly just Asterix and maybe some of the other warriors, hunters or guards), it speeds up their metabolism considerably in order to provide them with the large quantities of energy they need to function while on the potion. This is how Asterix is able to eat most of a boar nearly twice his size. (Although that was pushing it and he usually doesn’t need that much energy.)

The potion does not actively heal wounds except in the very short term, when it can exacerbate the effect of adrenaline to such an extent that it will completely heal minor to moderately serious wounds if taken within about a minute after sustaining the injury. However, it does give the body more energy, enabling it to heal faster. It also helps the immune system fight infection and the body to remake lost blood. 

It won’t cure concussions, but it does get rid of them faster and reduces long-term damage. (This is how Asterix can have had no less than six concussions in the space of a few years and not feel any lasting effects.)

Chronic illnesses and fatigue can be treated, but not cured by the potion. It unfortunately doesn't help with nerve pain, because there's no wound for it to help heal or inflammation/ bacteria/ etc. for it to fight.

Over time, this will cause regular potion drinkers to have stronger immune systems and heal more quickly. (Cacofonix still gets sick easily, but without the potion he’d probably have been dealing with asthma or an autoimmune disease. Obelix still gets hay fever in spring, but I guess maybe the potion doesn’t help with allergies. He does sometimes get mild colds and stuff, but the potion protects him from a lot of more serious diseases.)

The potion also increases a drinker’s core body temperature slightly and makes it easier to maintain, which is how all the Gauls can walk around in the snow either in sleeveless tops or just straight up shirtless, with only maybe a scarf or gloves to keep them warm. This effect also lingers over time if you drink the potion regularly. (Or if you’re Obelix. He’s like a walking heater.)

In Asterix the Gaul, we see the Gauls take potion regularly and use their strength for everyday tasks. This is because they used to take potion in shifts, so that some people would always be ready to go fight the Romans if they attacked. Doing chores while on the potion was just an added convenience. (As I speculated earlier, the potion lasts longer if you drink more of it, so maybe they used to drink more potion with each dose to make it last longer - maybe half or even a full day.)

This seemed like a great strategy until one day, a new centurion decided to attack the village at an unexpected time. The people who were on the potion went out to fight, but Asterix's potion wore off mid-battle. Not realising in time, he got into a fight with the centurion and ended up getting pretty badly hurt. (Inspired by this post - I came up with this idea while I was thinking about what might have happened in that scenario)

After that, they decided to just take the potion when needed to prevent something like it happening again. This also enabled Getafix to spend more time experimenting with new potions because he wasn’t making the strength potion every day.

so yeah! that's all i got. thanks so much if you read this whole thing. hopefully i'll have time to finish something else soon :D

[multifandomgrabage]

Random and non cohesive HB thoughts, particularly season 2:

I don’t condone or support Stella’s actions, but I am very disappointed in how she is written. Im fine with her being a villain, and I’ll even let a lack of a backstory slide! My main issues with Stella are:

A) Being 1 dimensional. Please, give her traits outside of “bitch” and “angry at Stolas”. The majority of the fan base already is (somehow) in support of Stolitz, you don’t need another prop to keep your ship going. (subpoint to a): Also, not a fan of the “wife finds out that her husband is queer” trope, but whatever, she is a villain. Its pretty fucking basic though.

B) Her lines. My fucking gosh, her lines are so fucking flat and weightless. You’d think that something an abuser says would stick and sound intimidating, but no. We get “I LiKe ToRmEnTiNg YoU”. For fucks sake, what was that?! As someone who grew up with an abusive mother, I can confidently say that no one will say that. Its like they didnt respect their ADULT audience enough to figure things out and felt they had to have a giant ass neon sign screaming

“LOOK HERE, THIS IS ABUSIVE, SHE SAID SHE LIKES HURTING HIM! A-B-U-S-E! NOW GO AND FORGET ABOUT ANY TERRIBLY TOXIC THINGS STOLAS OR BLITZO HAVE DONE”

Clearly the show is meant for adult audiences. We don’t need to be told what is and isn’t abuse. Why not do a little something called “show vs tell”? Some alright examples they have previously done are the portraits usually having just Stolas and Octavia, or a pissed Stella. Or seeing how she threw a fucking imp butler across the room.

I got a bit off topic, but here are some ways id probably write her:

A narcissist. To the outside world, she is friendly Stella, who just likes to party and smile. She has a perfect family, and everyone loves her. But under the surface, in order to feel superior she puts Stolas down constantly, through verbal abuse and perhaps some physical. Her love for Octavia is conditional, she is only pleased as long as everyone is doing everything to her command. All this possibly stems from an inferiority complex that she desperately covers through a high ego, false confidence and making sure others feel lesser to her.

Some possible lines?:

“You are nothing without me. You think you can make it on your own without me? You cant even take care of Octavia, what makes you think you can handle yourself”

“You would choose a lowly imp over me? I guess I shouldn’t have expected more from someone as low as you”

“You don’t even deserve to have me, consider yourself lucky that I am willing to stay”

“You look so damn stupid like that, singing in your self pity. Had you stuck with me, you wouldn’t have been in that position.” That or someone else mentioned Blitzo and Stella being childhood friends, her being arranged with Stolas, and then having the cheating incident

whoever had that idea is a genius.

C: Why is her design so damn good? I love fancy pigeons and they made her a fancy pigeon. (this isn’t a complaint but a thought)

Moving on from Stella, lets get to S2 E2…

I was so excited to have an episode where it wasn’t the Stolitz shipping show. I got my hopes too high. The one positive thing Ill say is that I enjoyed the adoption flashback. Maybe I read too much into it but it feels kind of like a commentary in how shitty the adoption system is, especially to teenagers. Any kid really, as they’re treated like literal dogs, and then kicked out on the street.

Back to me complaining about shit:

For one, why did we spend so much fucking tome in that stupid ass sitcom? If Stolas is such a caring dad, shouldn’t he just leave and look for Octavia? So much character growth could have happened in that time.

I know that Loona didn’t just tell Octavia to just deal with her dad neglecting her just because “he’s trying”. Its HIS responsibility as a parent to take care of his kid, and Octavia has every right to be upset st him and her circumstances. Her parents have been unstable, but after a divorce, even more so. Her dad has straight up ignored her, in favor of arguing with Stella. She did nothing wrong and has nothing to apologize for. I got so excited when Stolas started to apologize, but then Octavia apologized.

Did I mention that there was 4 minutes of Octavia and Loona together at most? Despite the thumbnail? Yeah, that blowed.

Honestly the only reason I keep up anymore is because of the animation and the weak dying hope that it’ll get better.

thats all ig, please don’t be rude in the comments. You can disagree but keep it civil. Going to bed now, bye

EDIT: So Imma randomly add a brainbarf of thoughts here too, because I do not feel like organizing shit. My brain's thoughts just expand everywhere, so bare with me.

Another reason why Stella's abuse doesn't really land is because Stolas just... doesn't seem afraid of her at all? For someone who claims to love tormenting someone, she sure is doing a shitty job at it. The way that Stolas would just have the balls (or cloaca ig) to keep going out using Blitz, worry free despite his wife doesn't give the vibes of "Victim of Domestic violence, verbal and physical abuse" to me.

To continue on why her abuse doesn't land, it has to do with the nature of this show and how it portrays stuff. It gets very confusing. Loona assaulting Blitz, Blitz and Asmodeus (on separate occasions) touching Moxie's groin area (without consent) and Multiple characters using slurs against Moxie is supposedly "funny".

Personally I don't find it humorous, but I do get somewhat jaded and desensitized to stuff like that happening. Not to say that it's acceptable behavior, but you do kind of get used to it and take it a little less seriously in the context. In S1E2 Stella is seen screaming and throwing shit around. This *can* be seen as portrayal of abuse, but given that many characters do similar shit it can also be seen as another unfunny attempt at humor.

Fast forward to season 2, if you've lasted that long you should expect some edgy shit like that to be written in a way that tries to excuse it. But all of a sudden, we get "Actually, abuse is bad. Feel bad for Stolas because he is abused by his wife. Yeah, we constantly make our characters do abusive things too, but it's funny when they do it, just ignore it and feel bad for Sad Gay Owl Man."

What? The fuck? Is the deal with powers, especially human disguises? Initially I thought that maybe only Succubi and Incubi, as well has hellhounds had the power because some hellborns are more powerful than others. How would that work if Hellhounds are below Imps in the hierarchy though? By that logic, shouldn't Imps also get that power? So that idea doesn't work. I don't fucking know why or how any of this works. Theres no storybuilding or explanation for it. For something that appears so often, I think there should be. The purpose of a human disguise is to blend in among the human world, so I can see Succubi/Incubi having that power because I'd assume they're some of the only demons allowed to go to the human world. I wouldn't know why a hellhound would come to Earth, but I guess they just have the power too?

Speaking of rules about demons on Earth that weren't explained!

Stolas is able to summon himself in some big scary owl demon form without his book ANYWHERE near him in "Truth Seekers". Yet in S2E2 he can only conjure up a poorly designed human form because now his powers are attached to the book? HUH?! Where is the consistency?

Also, given that IMP is big enough to get a commercial, how have they not gotten in trouble for breaking what I assume is one of hell's only rules? We know that they aren't supposed to be there, and yet this seems to have no consequence? Having them have to try and fly below the radar in hell would raise stakes a lot more imo.

But whatever, fuck the rules, because there are none!

______________________________________________________

Unrelated rambles, but still kind of relevant and similar? I just don't want to make a separate post.

I don't like Andrealphus' design. It's way too bright and saturated and honestly has my eyes strain a lot, despite not being red. I kinda wanna redesign him. Also I feel like he's gonna be yet another gay stereotype, which is always fun to have /s.

Lucifer's design is underwhelming. Not necessarly because the design is bad on its own, but because of two things:

A) Too many characters look like that. We have too many skinny white Tumblr Sexyman Twinks. We have too many characters with that copy paste smile. Too many characters in suits. He just doesn't stand out. This leads me to my next point.

B) His design doesn't say "Lucifer, King and Ruler of Hell, Fallen Angel". It says "Generic Vivziepop Snarky Guy with a quirky interest". BEFORE SOME OF YALL START SAYING "B-but ackshually he pwobably haz a more dwemwonic fowm 🤓", respectfully, no. I feel that the leader of hell should have a default design that commands some kind of respect out of fear, it doesn't have to be crazy, but it should be intimidating, and stand out. What kind of king just blends into a crowd of his own people? Especially in a fantasy? This is fiction, and there is no reason to hold back and not try something new. In fact, 90% of the characters being skinny could actually be used as an advantage, because then you could just make Lucifer's bodyshape different from the default and he'd already stand out much more.

Fuck it, two redesigns coming up. When I'm done I'll link them here.

[medicbrainrot]

knowing that canon simon grew up in an abusive home with him regularly seeing his mother (and him and his brother tommy) getting beaten up by his alcoholic dad that the first thing he did when he was able and earning was to kick that guy out, your fic feels wrong and hurtful.

i can’t believe that simon would do that, not to mention the disgust and disbelief for the enabling actions of price and the rest of team, i just refuse to believe that they would do that. but i also know that that’s wishful thinking. i know because i am my father’s daughter and fact is, hurt people hurt people. and for all the many fanfic written here about fluffy or softie simon, the reality will probably be nowhere near that. i guess what im trying to say is, your writing is good and too realistic that it wakes up feelings that i tried to bury.

i want to say that i wont read anymore of your fics but that would be a lie. nevertheless, thank you for sharing your work with us.

Hey anon, thank you for your feedback.

I honestly deliberated back and forth a lot as to whether or not I wanted to even publish the “deep end” series. It’s one of the heavier pieces I’ve published, and while I agree that I hope Simon wouldn’t do something like that, I wanted to explore the darker aspects of his personality as it relates to his previous trauma.

The original version that I sketched out was much darker than what I published, dark enough that it made me reconsider what I was writing out.

Juliana as a character isn’t fully fleshed out yet, but she has a very labile personality, and tends to feed into her insecurities in order to try to push Simon’s buttons in hopes of getting a reaction out of him. 

At the beginning of part 1, it says that tensions have been high the past couple of weeks due to multiple failures, and that Simon and Jules have been arguing more and more in the time leading up to this fic.

I haven’t written out what happens just yet, but the idea that I have so far is that Jules has been pushing and pushing Simon, waiting for him to snap. 

Part of Juliana’s issues stem from the fact that while she believes that everything bad that happens to her is her own fault, she still instigates conflict in order to get reactions from people, because her past experiences have taught her that any attention is good, whether the reactions are good or bad. 

She has a very unhealthy view of herself, and she hasn’t really taken the steps to try to figure out why that is.

Simon never had the intention to hurt Jules, but she’s been pushing and pushing him, and with enough force, people eventually snap. Hence why he feels so incredibly guilty, because he loves her, and doesn’t ever want to cause her pain again. 

As for the team’s reaction, I would hope that they wouldn’t let an assault incident slide, but I feel like I also don’t know all of their characters well enough to say so. I’ve been trying to work off of what I know from the canon, but between both versions of MW, I feel like there isn’t enough information as to what the team is like outside of the field. 

Unfortunately, I’ve seen enough incidents where the chain of command gets a little messed up, and people try to cover for each other when something happens, hence why their reactions are a little convoluted.  

Whether or not you choose to continue reading any of my works, I do appreciate the feedback. I use my writing as an outlet for my own problems and feelings, and that tends to influence the type of content that ends up in different fics.

Should you choose to continue reading, part 3 of “deep end” should be finished within the next day or so, and hopefully it can provide some context to the first two parts.

[dizzybizz]

ok i need someone elses (especially- but not exclusively- other afab autistics, cis or trans) thoughts on this shit cause im losing my goddamn mind i just have so many feelings about gender and its fucking me up

ok so.

ive always sorta felt disconnected with my gender and i dont think me being autistic helps with it either. what with trying to pinpoint feelings and all that being hard. and it has i guess planted a lot of doubt surrounding my thoughts and feelings about my own gender in my mind. i question if everything im feeling is just bc im autistic. which is why im making this post!! i just need some outside perspectives and thoughts and i guess i want to know that im probably not alone in my struggles with this.

idk how i wanna structure this post but ill just write down the things that come to mind.

like before i hit puberty i was not into the idea of it at all. and before i had considered the fact that i might be trans, i thought it was just because i didnt like the thought of change. and i think thats normal, being hesitant about puberty.

BUT uhm. now im not religious. but i vividly remember praying to god that i would at least be as late a bloomer as possible. if not, never ever going through afab puberty. and i always felt more inclined towards amab puberty, and i thought it was a MUCH better deal than whatever afab puberty was going to do with me.

and i feel really silly writing this cause that does not sound like something a normal cis girl would do or think... and i feel quite confident in me being not cis. but i guess this is just a post to seek some validation in my suspicion and feelings. but i also want to know if it is an experience others share.

my gender thoughts as i call them have been particularly prevelant since 2019, thats when i think i first started contemplating whether i might just actually be trans. at that time i believe it was more towards the non binary, but nowadays its ftm

and i just idk. im kinda lost and lonely here, i havent talked about with any family members which are the people i spend most of my time with currently. i wanted to get the perspective of people who are also autistic and might relate to the gender feelings and yeah

and ok no sorry, jumping back, cause its always at its worst before and during shark week (like right now :)) and that has also thrown me off quite badly

cause what if its just pms, or just some kinda hormone imbalance or some shit like that. am i crazy cause sometimes i feel like im driving myself mad with this stuff. is it common to have really intense thoughts about gender anytime your period is about to kick in.

also growing up with a younger brother (who also has a whole ass army of guy friends) when you have these thoughts is fucked up ngl who allowed this. youre telling me he gets to just get that puberty for free. fucking hell wtf

sorry i lost it pls just idk tell me your thoughts wherever, replies, i think im turning off reblogs for this but, my inbox or dms anything ok thanks so much, means the world

[dualityvn]

and so my suffering begins anew

'two gods' 'the paint and the canvas'

presuming that the paint and the canvas Are the two gods in question, because i doubt even you would be so cruel to throw out fake hints like that, what exactly does that mean

now to state this right out of the gate, i know like,, nothing about religions so if this has any bearing on real world religions i for one will be totally blind to it so we will be working under the assumption that it does not

so to me, the paint and the canvas seem to be descriptors of like, the purpose that a god would serve. like one would be the foundation, the mainstay, the origin, 'the canvas', while the other is the embellishment, the life, the decoration, 'the paint'. separately they don't measure up to much, the canvas is empty and boring and the paint has no where to go to display its wonder. but together they form the two halves needed to create a whole, a full, a painting.

they cannot exist to their highest degree without the other, and so they are reliant upon each other. since we know like,, nothing about them at this point i cant say if this is an arrangement that they are happy with or that they dislike or what.

i am however going to take some liberties drawing potential parallels with our main boys, Keith and Tenebris. it did not escape my detective nose that the very first hint towards this that we received was that there are two (2) gods, with Nightmare going out of her way to make the point known that there are 2 (two), much like our leading lads.

and just like Keith and Tenebris, these two also seem to be inseparable. im not making the claim that Keith and Tenebris are these two gods, but i do think they are connected in some deeper way. my mind is drawn back to 'Magic Man', (the sus guy with the scar who talked to Keith about the MC after their first meeting) because if any of the known characters would have some connection to higher divinity at this point it feels like it would be him. he's also sus and definitely knows more about the situation.

another reason i dont think 'paint' and 'canvas' refer to Keith and Tenebris directly is because im having a hard time isolating either of them to those roles. that could just be because im writing this at 1 am but im not sure. i guess Keith could be considered for the role of canvas because they are both in his body, and Tenebris is the more 'bright' and 'noticeable' of the two, considering the fact that he's literally blue, but it just doesn't feel right since i think those terms are meant to refer to the gods more than the boys.

maybe its like a,, like a chosen vessel thing. like the gods pointed at poor Keith in his mothers stomach and poor Tenebris in a field somewhere and said "yooo this is gonna be funken sick and also poetically line up so well" and just yanked Tenebris into Keiths body so that they could have a physical representation of themselves on earth for some deep reason. or maybe just for kicks, who knows. i certainly don't. i never know until i manage to throw enough pasta at the wall that some of it sticks and im left there alone in my kitchen with pasta water on the floor and a mess that im going to have to clean up at some point.

i digress. if my last point is at least somewhere in the realm of reality then we will maybe finally be close to starting to figure out my last big question from my first round as theory anon, "why and how did this happen to Keith and Tenebris in the first place". Until this point there has been absolutely nothing to even begin trying to ponder that question, but the idea that there are two (2) gods that seem to be unable to exist without the other, the symbolism is just to yummy for it to not be related

for now tho, i am cold and tired and it is now 1:15 and i started this at like 12:30 so im putting a pin in this until Nightmare responds to this aks with the usual cyrptic answers that are always Just Enough to get me thinking. i am going to bed good night

Long theory asks are always so yummy. But you're right! The canvas is the one that created the structure, rules and everything that keeps things together. The paint made colors, emotions, smells, tastes, sensations, the differences between species, and what makes each creature, plant, rock or grain of sand unique.

And no, Keith and Tenebris are not gods. The gods don't really come up in the game at all. It's just world lore that may become important in other games :)

[battlinghurricanes]

hey if this is in any way invasive i apologize i do not mean to make you uncomfortable & obviously you do not have to answer…

for some reason the obsession i had with the iliad a year or so ago has come back full force & im looking everywhere for content lol so i was going through my likes and some tags and i found one of your posts about a gender hektor fic and fuck i got so excited lol i searched for it on ao3 & i didn’t find it so i guess it never got published

but i just had to ask did it ever get finished? what was it about?

anyway i love all of your work! youre a very talented writer and you’re literally carrying the hektor/andromache ao3 tag on your back !!!!!! so thank you 4 that

Ohhh this is very sweet, I'm so touched that you've found my writing so enjoyable and care to know more about it <3!!! Thank you so much for the kind words!

You're right, I never finished my Hektor gender fic so it hasn't been published. At the moment, I'm neck deep in another Very Long fic for a different fandom that I'm adamantly hoping I can finish, so I'm not currently working on this one. However, I am genuinely determined to finish it some day because I have a majority of it written, more of it planned out, and it means a lot to me. I reread the wip several weeks ago and there are a few small places I want to rework now, but I think it's very strong and it deserves to be finished up. Right now it's at ~18k words.

Essentially, the fic is a rather indulgent take with Hektor sometimes finding an urge to see himself in a new light, and grappling as that leads him towards more femininity. The initial idea rooted itself in the concept of gentleness and delicacy in the midst of a war, and how the extremities of war would really warp and alienate those concepts. I see Hektor struggling with gentleness, both as something he fears he doesn't deserve to receive anymore (alongside deeply longing for it in the midst of all the violence), and something he fears he's not capable of embodying in a meaningful way. The fic's mostly focused on him finding and longing for that in aspects of femininity, but also involves how that internal conflict shapes so many other parts of his life. I found the emotional core compelling enough to write, and even though looking at it through the lens of gender queerness is still quite indulgent and improbable, I do find it fits it surprisingly well, too. It’s also a Troy Wins au, because it felt a lot more satisfying to explore that way.

For you my friend, I'll share some excepts that I particularly like c:

“...you cannot keep shirking your duty ... why you feel the need to waste your time on jewelry and perfume and daintiness ... no- that’s not...you need to focus on the war on our doorstep...”

Hektor berates Paris for the nth time, even when he knows it’s no use. But his little brother simply refuses to muster himself and do what he needs to do to help the city. It makes their relationship grow more and more contentious.

That grieves him, in truth.

Hektor’s exasperation and increasing anger towards Paris is well familiar by now. It leaves him prickly and drained when they fight. Though, in the past months, he’s noticed something else and something new.

Not always, only in some particular moments, he feels something else towards Paris. The sight of him puts a tight, aching cinch in his chest. He can’t identify it, can’t prevent it. He tried once to allow for it, but when he opened his mouth, the feeling didn’t find its place in the words rebuking Paris for his avoidance of battle.

So now he always swallows down the inexplicable sensation, ignoring it, and hoping it will someday go away.

-

It’s quite difficult to grasp the full picture in the little mirror, so abruptly he tosses it aside and kicks around his big, bronze plated shield from where it rests against the wall.

The shape distorts the images somewhat, and the scratches obscure it, but in it Hektor sees himself donned in the flowing dress. His lips purse into a thin, tight line as he all but glares at his reflection. It’s not... repellant; in fact, on a solely surface level, he finds it kind of nice. But with that comes an overpowering feeling that he should not be wearing this. Much less have put it on himself. It may not be disgusting on him, but he is disgusting in it.

The cadence of his breathing has gone so strained and unnatural that a choked gasp escapes him as he hurriedly tugs off the dress. Hektor puts it back into Andromache’s chest as neatly as he can manage then reclaims his own clothes, and he hates himself for missing the sensation of the dress.

-

The feeling only grows as he lopes down the palace halls, distracted and thrown off track. No one he crosses paths with presumes to interrupt him, at least, until he bumps into Deiphobus, who always presumes he could use a disruption.

Deiphobus reverses direction to fall in step with him. “You look agitated,” he informs him bluntly.

“I am agitated,” Hektor growls.

“I was just about to guess that-! Ohh, I know you so well.” Hektor rolls his eyes. “Luckily for you, I have some wine that pairs perfectly with agitation, you just have to try it.” Slinging an arm across his shoulders, Deiphobus steers him towards his room and Hektor decides he could damn well use some wine right now.

Dei pours them both a cup once they reach his room. He sits, but Hektor stays on his feet as he takes a long, unceremonious draught before setting the wine aside, earning an amused snort.

“Do you think I would make a good king?”

Deiphobus cocks his head and he eyes him sharply. “Yeah,” he states like it’s obvious.

“Now?” Hektor clarifies demandingly. Dei furrows a brow, and Hektor can tell he doesn’t take his meaning. “Do you believe that as I am now?” he elaborates. “I’m not talking about when we were young, when I spent most all my time preparing to be king one day. For as anxious as I was about it then, even I ultimately believed I could be a good king. Maybe not great, but good.”

He juts his chin frustratedly to stretch the tight muscles of his neck. “That was a long time ago. Do you think the same holds true now?”

Deiphobus purses his lips in a thin, tight line, staring acutely at Hektor, watchfully. The piercing gaze is his only answer. Hektor waits as well for a minute. Then asks, “Do you think I’m a good warrior?”

Deiphobus blinks once. “Yes,” he replies.

“I think so too,” Hektor states. “Not just good, but great. And I’m beginning to fear what makes a great warrior, makes a bad king.”

-

Her fond attention weighs on him, not heavy but grounding. “You’re very pretty and I like you a lot. Anything after that would be redundant, really.”

Hektor turns his head and the clink of gold chimes in his ears and the cool touch of metal brushes his neck for a heartbeat. He tries to focus on the prickling in his fingers and the flutter of heart, he tries to glean something from his reaction, but it can’t hold his attention. Perhaps part of what’s stopped him from grasping the nature of his feelings is that the unfamiliar sensation of unfamiliar adornments keep him acutely alert and aware of himself. Their physical presence is demanding.

“How do you like them?” Andromache inquires. Hektor licks his lips and hesitates, unsure what he thinks. “How do you feel?” she offers instead.

“...Tense,” Hektor elects to answer. It’s not a condemnation, disparaging the experience. He doesn’t feel... uncomfortable, like he had before, like he expected to feel. Andromache’s company blunts the harshest sharp edge of his self loathing, though he is still tense.

“Well, that’s never all that uncommon for you,” she comments. That’s... true enough, really. Hektor is a bit prone to- oh, fine- extremely prone to tension and stress. He blames it on his raucous family, mostly.

He considers himself as objectively as possible. “Wearing these feels like I’ve been preened.” He picks the word as best he can. The finery feels like particular care has been doled onto him.

“Good, you deserve to feel pampered,” she declares heartily. The words catch Hektor off kilter. He takes in and releases a measured breath.

He wears the earrings for the better part of an hour until one snags his hair and he carefully removes them.

-

He exhales, then smiles softly and pecks another kiss to her skin. “You’ll want for nothing while you’re with child. I’ll give you anything and everything you ask.”

“Oh?” Andromache returns. When Hektor looks up and meets her eye, though muted by tiredness, he sees humor glinting there. “Do you mean to say that all this time before now, you’ve been willing to deprive me?”

Disguising the warmth running through his heart, Hektor sticks his nose up with a huff. “That’s such a harsh way to put it. I’ve always been willing to give you almost anything.” Andromache hums pointedly. “But yes, now that you’re pregnant, if you even go so far as to try to cheat again to suggest that the horses love you more than me...” He dramatically takes in and releases a deep, steadying breath. “I will let you.”

“Oh such noble sacrifices you’re willing to make for me now,” Andromache crows, rolling her eyes, “where did I find such a selfless husband?” She pokes the tip of his nose. “I have never once cheated to gain the horses’ favor- for your information- because I’ve never needed to. Every one of them loves me the most.”

Hektor pinches his expression and swallows like he’s forcing down something sour. Gazing at her, he bravely says, “Yes, of course they do, dear.”

Andromache snorts loudly and Hektor breaks with a wide grin. He snuggles up beside her and she drags up the blankets, shielding them from the chill. “I don’t think we can afford to stop competing over the horses. If they stop receiving their regular bribes, they’ll hate both of us.” Hektor hums in concession. “I fear that bodes ill for how spoiled our baby will be,” she muses.

Hektor tilts his head thoughtfully. “Oh, I don’t think it’s cause for worry. I think the horses turned out great, and the gods know they’re all just big babies.”

Andromache’s shoulders shake with laughter. “You’re a fool!” she informs him.

Hektor gazes at her dark eyes, his mind swimming with warm fondness. “A happy one,” he declares, and Andromache shivers then pulls him into a kiss.

-

He feels like there’s nothing of him left. He has no avocations. He barely has any friends, at least any that aren’t his family too. Not that they mean less to him, but his family above all he feels obliged to, always he has put them above himself. They have needed him to. He can never truly separate that from any one of them, despite- because of- his endless love for them.

Of the rest... several already died. His companionship with Polydamas started fracturing early in the war. When Podes would implore that they drink together, he had to decline so many times he eventually stopped asking. Only Eniopeus and Helen really put up with him still. (She’s technically family too.)

If he could be detached, severed from his responsibilities, his family, his home, Hektor imagines he’d simply fade away, hollow and untethered on his own. Hektor can’t define himself outside of Troy. Brother. Leader. Protector. Trojan. Troy Troy Troy.

He doesn’t feel... bitter about losing those parts of himself, after all, they’re worth nothing in the face of what he can- what he needs to do for Troy. And yet, that does little to keep him from feeling empty and pained at their absence. It leaves him wounded and wanting even as he tells himself over and over that things are better this way, that the needs of his people deserve his time and strength over his trifling wants. Every last piece.

But Hektor’s only mortal and a mortal heart is selfish and fragile.

[applin-bottom-jeans]

trying to reorganize my life for new years

through the power of agile brainrot i'm doing a new thing for time tracking and i kind of want to share it here (especially since i don't have a real update for pigeon-splice like i wanted)

so last year i tried to figure out organizational methods for the stuff i had in my life because my current system - writing down weekly todos and then breaking those into daily tasks - wasn't really working, both in the short term (large tasks that need to be done during the day get kicked, forever) and long term (no tracking for long term projects with deadlines)

but then two things happened

i read up on agile stuff

i got put on a better release type of my meds and holy shit i am less wiaefrjueiwahjfdeioswAFHeouihf (and then got put back on the old version because of a miscommunication between docs and then put back on the new version, more on that later)

I'm not a big fan of kanban because i feel like in card form seeing all of the cards you have in your queue gets extremely overwhelming, especially if you dont have a good way of organizing them by tag (so really, i just hate trello).

but scrum. im in a deep love-hate relationship with scrum. Here's my understanding of scrum, which may not be entirely accurate, with commentary -

Sprint - a length of time where work is measured, usually 2 weeks - no comment, perfect length of time, love that

scrum points - how much work you think a task will take, which will help determine the amount of work you have planned for a sprint - this can get ambiguous depending on the work you do. What happens if something goes wrong? What happens if you need more information and need more time? I understand that there are many tasks that you can learn to estimate well, but at what point is a bad estimation due to your performance or outside factors?

burndown chart - how many scrum points you estimated vs how many you've actually done - this helps with the issue with points and i think its good in theory but also i really don't want a chart of how poorly im doing thats easily accessible by someone higher up in the food chain who might want to decide who to lay off

Sprint planning - a meeting where you plan what will be in a sprint - great. no commentary.

standup - a meeting with your team every day to discuss what you're working on - introspection is good but why do i have to tell my entire team this information every single day. i have an anxiety disorder

sprint review - discussing how the sprint went and how much you got done - good, great

sprint retrospective - basically the same as the review but with vibes - not sure why this is a different meeting but ok

Basically i like the idea of scrum and i really like the philosophy of its work tracking but i feel like the implementation of it in a team turns it into glorified micromanagement. But this is for personal use? Seems good, lets try it out

This still doesn't really help solve the long term project problem but for that i organized the year into financial quarters, like a completely normal person.

So for every quarter this year, i'm planning on having a set of quarter wide goals (duration measured in a month or more), a sprint level goal (duration of days - weekish), and a daily goal (should be as simple as possible).

My general goals for the year is get better at art to the point where i'm finally happy with it, get through all the craft supplies i've accumulated through the years, do big stupid projects, and get healthier i guess. This quarter I'm working on a big BD2 project, a couple of sweaters, a few art challenges, and cleaning my apartment. In the end, my breakdown for this looks like this:

Q1:

Quarter-wide

* BD2 Project

* Two sweaters

* 3 art challenges

* Deep Clean apartment

* Ramp up back to exercising regularly

* Get 6 pages into the pokemon cross stitch project

* Get 2 haircuts (usually i get 1.5 every 3 months...)

Every sprint

* Run 4 times

* Make 1 good painting

* Make 1 practice painting (Q1 emphasis on portraits)

* Make 1 jewelry set (necklace, or earrings, or whatever)

* Buy food

* Clean out previously cleaned parts of the apartment

Every day

* Draw a bird (practice painting)

For this sprint I'm about to start, Bidoof (I named my sprints after dinky pokemon), I have the following specific goals which may intersect with the list above:

Ooblets Painting

Carpenters Close To You Practice Painting

Ahmed Aldoori's 100 head challenge

Clear out my closets

Make a fish pendant and lil anchor earrings

Page 2 of the pokemon cross stitch

Make squares for the current sweater i'm making

"Wtf is LSDJ" and beg people to listen to what i come up with

Get the music plan into LSDJ

And for any tasks that I didn't finish, they either

get kicked to the next sprint, in this case Carbink

get obliterated to hell

so i have the flexibility sometimes to push things off if they're not working out. i have already kicked out a lot of the LSDJ stuff because last week i had to go back on my old meds so i had to transition to old antidepressants and then transition back again to the new antipressants and my brain didn't like that. but its fine, we're fine. help

I then have a todo list i make for the day in the morning and i try to grab whatever i can from the goals list.

and yeah. i hope this helps getting my stuff together for this year. i already feel more on top of things but that might just be the antidepressants so

[felteverywhere]

here’s a plot wishlist of things i’m thinking about lately but would prefer to plot than write opens for. i’d also prefer to plot on discord but it’s not entirely necessary since obviously i’ll be writing on this account. some of them are kind of variations of the same thing but i think it makes it clear what kind of stuff i really love lmao. if you like this i’ll im you, but even if you like a lot of them it would be amazing if you could whittle it down to 2-3 tops. reblogging and messaging people when i’m online in the morning!

hot & heavy by lucy dacus inspired — the angst of your first love, homoerotic teenage best friend angst coming back to haunt you, bitterness and nostalgia mingling in the worst way, you hate her and you still love her after all this time. optional: period piece (70s, 80s, 90s, early 00s), a dead friend dragging them back to town, one of them is still closeted. 

fear street inspired — small towns where dark, horrible things have happened and keep happening but not everyone can afford to clear out, young people taking on a legacy of evil in the name of love, the truth of the past being unearthed, the loss along the way. optional: period piece (90s), we can run with something similar to fear street in terms of why the killers exist or come up with our own thing. 

college sleuths — a body found in a classroom or maybe an old unsolved mystery, a small campus cradled by woods and hidden from the world, a desperate need to uncover what everyone else wants to cover up, a righteousness or maybe an obligation to the dead, an eventual game of cat and mouse as they creep closer to the truth. optional: literally everything i listed can be tweaked, i just love the idea of a pair of people (even reluctantly) solving a murder. 

scooby doo inspired, college cryptid/supernatural hunters  — they’re the only ones who believe and maybe that’s okay, could be a mumu/could utilise npc characters if we’d like a group. optional: more of a buffy style scooby gang who are solving problems/include creatures in it. 

dark academia, the secret history inspired  — 

zombie apocalypse romance... with a twist on top of that — what’s more romantic than finding your soulmate at the end of the world? well, i guess if she’s also an unhinged person who will murder humans too, if they cross her. finding out she killed her last s/o somehow doesn’t phase you. basically: muse a has met someone after so long alone but muse b is a little crazy and they get into shenanigans. 

thoroughbreds inspired — unsettling girls forming a strange bond in rekindling a childhood friendship, uncomfortable step fathers, murder as a tool to solve problems rather than a ghastly act, taking blame as a romantic gesture. gifset for fun inspo. 

a return to the hurt/comfort fanfic tag. i’d like to explore deeper things while also dealing with the relationship between two characters. optionally but not limited to: grief, abuse (tentatively and with discussion about parameters), child custody issues, divorce, etc. 

this post but like no really, let’s write it. 

people who believe they are impossible to love pushing away the one who is demanding that they let them in!!!! not strong enough by boygenius vibes also 

an affair happening in a position of power, in a place it absolutely shouldn’t, where everything could turn to crap if they gave in but... they really can’t help themselves. people who are slaves to their own feelings no matter how toxic they are with one another. bad people being so passionately and deeply in love that it destroys everything. oh also this. 

still would kick things over for a normal people plot. i’ll never be over it!! never!! gifset for visual. shame and regret almost overpowering love but not quite, hurting each other, miscommunication, all the things. “i'm not a religious person but i do sometimes think god made you for me.” it should be illegal for someone to say that but jeez i am obsessed with it. 

someone truly deranged and evil and bloodthirsty and the only one who can stop them, but also the only one who can understand them. the only one who knows them. the only one who loves them? ah?

figure skating partners for carling i beg on my knees. fc optional i honestly might change her regardless. 

more song inspo without long winded thoughts: reckless driving by lizzy mcalpine, taken by muna, holding back/crowded places/waiting game by banks, forever winter/tis the damn season/cowboy like me by taylor swift but also really any taylor swift song. 

[yan-sideblog]

I am absolutely obsessed with the show time au! Its actually helping me power through my writing block for my fic and giving me new ideas to try out so thank you so much for sharing it with all of us! One of the ideas I currently have kicking around (but won’t work in my fic sadly) is y/n being a character in the show, but i was thinking more moon based? Either someone who comes our at the end to signal the episode being at its conclusion or just a once in a while guest. I guess the idea of jack calling us sun related names when Joseph’s original love interest was more moon related is funny, but also a little sad. I would love if you have anymkre thoughts to add to this!

Im so glad you like it anon. And I'm happy you're workin through your writer's block, those can be a real pain. 😂

Joseph's Y/N embodying the serene calming presence of the moon would've been just the sort of thing he needed in his life. With the stress of his job and whatever past he was running from they would be his safe space to nust be.

And it really is bittersweet thinking of Y/N potentially reminding Jack of Joseph's own love interest on a subconscious level. Doubly so when you consider what happened with his death and the NDA everyone had to sign.

Not only was he dead but Joseph's Y/N never got to give him a funeral or even talk about him.

All that angst is why I'm glad the 84 incident never happens in Showtime AU.

[ochizokulevy]

Guess what!

*kicks the door* I am back!!

Aka.. i finally changed my writing mindset and this time, I am accomodating writing to my health/life needs.. and not the other way around (☠️ look, i am recovering people pleaser with perfectionist aspirations.. ☠️☠️)

I have (so far) 38 fanfic ideas (some are requests from friends, some my own) and 6 fandoms I am hoping to write for (hah, we will see how this will go. This purely depends on my neurospicy hyperfixations and well.. thats 50/50 hit or miss.)

Here's brief sneak-peak on few fandoms:

^ this is NOT in any order. Cuz order doesnt exist in this god forsaken brain ☠️🤓

Things to expect on my fanfic sideblog ( @interstellar-debris )?

1. House keeping: aka i DO want it to have like a fanfic library of sort. At least I wanna make masterlists.

2. Tag list implemented soon: once i will find how it works 🤓 (i swear im technology kid, why is everything so hard on this hellsite?!)

3. ... Chaos😌✌️: look, I have brain which brutally dethrones any and all tries for some semblence of order; body which works against me; new job and my favorite past time is trying to see how many plot bunnies (ie fic ideas) i can have at once.

2024 is gonna be the year, where Imma embrace the chaos.

We will see how this goes ☠️🤓🤓

If you somehow managed to read it to this point, thank you! Have a lovely day/night 🥰

P.s. any and all advices or either the taglist or the masterlist are very appriciated and welcome. I understand nothing, when it comes to this site 😂

[soupct123]

i have a handful of chelldos fanfiction ideas but I have never actually written a full fanfic, and although i am slowly working on them I don’t know if I’ll ever have the strong enough to finish them. Some of these have chunks of chapters done but none are close to finished. I’ll tell the basic premises of them here in case they don’t make it onto ao3 so they can at least touch the real world once

1: You Wouldn’t Know

Post-Portal 2: GLaDOS in android body is forced to test in her own facility by an unknown new central core. She has to deal with the scariness of her own tests, her own two test bots working against her, the return of wheatley as her only ally, and worst of all, her lingering feelings for Chell

This is the one I want to finish the most because I think it has actual potential to be a good fucking story. It’s also the only one with a proper working title, though an uncreative and probably already used one at that

2: The BDSM One

Portal 2 up until the first core transfer: Instead of GLaDOS trying to kill Chell which leads to Wheatley in control, GLaDOS has hot dominant mominant sexy time with her and the timeline is changed

This one is just a dirty self indulgent thing of what i wish happened

3: The Jealous Ex One

Post Portal 2: Chell has done her part kicking the combine’s ass, settles down with a woman she loves, and starts rebuilding the pieces of human civilization. GLaDOS finds out about them because she’s been spying on chell with her crows for like five years, and also finds out that she doesn’t like being test-subject-cucked

Inspired by the “if you love that thing so much, why don’t you marry it? WELL I WON’T LET YOU!” line from Portal 1 boss fight. I love GLaDOS but like. jealousy. jealussy. it would be so funny i think. Idk how it would end though either a polycule or a restraining order or murder i guess?

Also in all of these fics GLaDOS would come up with the pet name “Chelly-bean” for her. I came up with it in april but it also seems so obvious that im scared someone else already came up with it fuckin years ago and ill be seen as a poopy little copycat stealer

if you have any little writing tips id appreciate seeing them a lot thanks i love yoi